#i couldnt keep lying to myself and thinking i could fix us when it was hurting me so much and everyday i would have a dream about her and

[heroinwasmyhero]

Nine Years Later

Most days, I’m okay. Most nights, I’m fine. But some nights... even nine years later, I miss my old life. I mourn the loss of the one I thought I loved, the one I did drugs with. The irreplaceable feeling I had laying with him while the opiates flowed through my veins. At first, I thought I was becoming stronger and smarter with him, when in reality, I was falling farther away from sanity. From myself, from my family, from any sort of successful future. 

I thought I had found the answers when I had only found more questions and complications. After going through withdrawal a few times a month and seeing the damage it was starting to cause, I knew I was going down the wrong path, but I just couldnt bring myself to stop.

Even after everything I went through, all the loss, suffering and pain... sometimes, I still miss the chaos. Sometimes, I remember how I took comfort in feeling lost, angry, hopeless and fed up. As long as I had my drugs, I was fine. I had all the answers, even if it was only for a few hours. I felt confident with posting my random feelings on Facebook and Twitter. I had that instant gratification of 5-12 people “liking” my thoughts. Thinking I was funny, smart, cute, different.

Sometimes, I miss the feeling of feeling free. I felt like I was funny, interesting, productive. I felt as though I could achieve anything. I could talk to people in a way that made sense. I felt confident, smart, and happy. I had no feelings of doubt, insecurity, sadness, or anger.

But I know those feelings will never come back. They only last so long when you first start using a drug. Before you know it, those side effects go away, and you’re left with guilt, regret, anger, and a very dark numbness. 

I know now that I would rather feel my sadness, anger, hopelessness, bitterness, depression, loneliness, whatever sad and “scary” emotion I happen to be feeling... because I know it doesnt last, and it’s better than feeling nothing at all. It’s better than feeling like I’m never going to stop lying to myself and my loved ones. It’s better than watching the one I used to love fall deeper into his own problems while falling out of love with me because he, like me, was no longer capable of loving anything except his next fix. One or two nights of feeling sad while blasting music into my ears beats endless days and nights of being dopesick wondering what kind of hustle I’ll need to do in order to score my next fix.

Sometimes, I remember how much smarter I used to feel, because now I feel as though I fried most of my braincells... but for now, I remain thankful for the choices I made that brought me here, to this level of recovery. If I hadnt chosen this path, I would have never found my husband and had my daughter. I would have never been able to repair the relationship I have with my parents. Life is beautiful, and it would have never been possible if I hadnt chosen recovery.

It’s not easy, but it’s worth it... and even nine years later, when I still sometimes dream about drugs, still sometimes miss the man I did drugs with, I realize it’s okay to fall asleep missing my old life as long as I wake up remembering how lucky I am to have my new life. 

And every morning I wake up, I couldnt be happier or more thankful. Something about the darkness of the night brings out my weaknesses sometimes, but it’s okay. Even when I wake up still feeling weak and tired, I remember I am still waking up so much stronger than I used to when I woke up dopesick. I will never have to wake up feeling that way again, and that realization itself is enough to help me keep going.

[nico-idc]

random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that.  Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently. 

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why. 

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now. 

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression. 

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory. 

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions. 

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”. 

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on  whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt. 

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first. 

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

[graffitibible]

Do you have any advice for writing or creating regularly? That’s hard for me and I’d like to get better at it.

it boils down to what works best for you personally tbh. i’ve got a system to write semi-regularly (or i did......restricted movement hours have kinda forced me to restructure that lol) and it works for me but that’s just how my brainyot works. i’m a routine-based creature so working writing into my routine was how i got myself to write semi-regularly. 

ive also had significant Brain Junk for most of my life and was gradually able to navigate how best to create in spite of that but im also like, medicated for it and the like so self-care was a factor. i couldnt create shit while i was too busy lying in a pool of my own filth having fits of paranoia about the nature of reality so i was hardly about to make myself try and create stuff when that wasnt even on my radar. 

i can share some of the things i do to keep myself writing though! like again this isn’t something that’s for sure gonna work for everybody cause everybodys wired differently but i hope some of it helps!

1. daily wordcount - i’ve mentioned this before but i have a daily wordcount that i do for my original fiction. i don’t apply the same standard to fic-writing because that risks making it an arbitrary barrier that puts too many numbers on my internal list. that being said, it’s very small. i make myself do 200 words per day. if that gets me going and writing more than that, awesome. if not, i still got a little bit done. 200 words is small, and it’s not overwhelming to catch up on if i miss a day. no matter how shitty im feeling i try to get in 200 words.

2. routine - since i’m a routine-based person by nature i basically found ways to finagle creative processes into all that. it’s not hard and fast because that kind of rigid structure makes me balk and i’m not that disciplined lol, but it’s usually something like “i have an hour-long lunch break at work and literally nothing else to do during it so i’ll write in that time period” or “i have thirty minutes of sitting by the stove making dinner so i’ll write until it’s ready”

3. momentum - or what my housemate fondly calls “The Juice.” if i have The Juice of inspiration i keep that going for as long as i can. if something’s not working for me i don’t scrap it or toss it right away. if i’m having trouble with a scene i make a note to myself and move on to a different one. example of this from my latest wip, which is part iv of mayhem

i hadnt worked out what was gonna go there and nothing was coming to me easy in the moment so i stuck the note there and kept going. my works are full of this shit. if i can’t think of a name or if there’s a statistic or a character i haven’t worked out yet i don’t wanna break my focus and momentum so i slap a note in the first draft and keep going. at a first draft stage the important thing is getting the words Out so it doesnt matter if theyre perfect. ill go back and fix them later, revise all i need to. first drafts dont need to be good, they just need to be there so i can spruce them up later.

on the flip side do not be like me and commit to this momentum so bad that you forget that you are a human being who needs to eat and consume liquids. i do that sometimes because of who i am as a person and it is a serious flaw of mine, do not be like this. sometimes getting some food in you is what you need to get The Juice flowing again and that sounds kinda gross and i am sorry

4. planning and hangups - this ones dependent on how you create. i forget where this analogy came from, but i’ve heard it said that some writers are architects who need a blueprint of where they’re going before they end up there and some writers are gardeners, who don’t need a set plan so much as they need to keep going. i’m definitely an architect - a lot of my works start out as bulletpoints of what scenes i wanna cover, what topics i wanna explore, etc. - though i have on occasion simply Written without any set destination, usually to force myself out of a creative slump. me being a big planner used to be one of the biggest barriers for me creatively because i’d spend hours agonizing over minute universe details and never start the dang story. this still happens from time to time. like heres what my organizational folder looks like wrt “pray for disaster”

that is not even all the files in there. why do i have two dictionaries. jesus. like i make these giant ass fuckin....tomes of stuff i like to keep track of, which i like to call “bibles” lol. except i could tell that getting too organized was gonna be an uphill battle with very little payoff so by the end i just made a “MISCELLANEOUS BULLSHIT” doc and for now i throw everything in there if it doesn’t fit into something like a dictionary or timeline

shit like this is why i like to just sit down and write without a clear destination in mind if i’m having writer’s block. that’s one of those things that goes hand in hand with the way i take advantage of my own momentum - if i reach a certain point where i’m just picking at details and not doing any writing i just go “ok motherfucker sit down and write shit. we will work out the details later.”

5. motivation - the ways i tend to motivate myself are weird so idk how true this is for anybody else but i’ve been writing for a pretty large part of my life. i went to college for english/creative writing and got a whole dang degree cause i still wanna make this my vocation somehow. one thing i cannot ever turn off is the writer part of my brain that’s going “oooh huh that’s not how i would’ve written that” in literally every piece of art i consume - tv, movies, books, songs, etc. sometimes that’s enough to inspire me into doing something on my own time. most of the time though if i’m feeling stumped i tend to crack open some of my personal favorite works, like books or fics that have really resonated with me, to fall in love with the art all over again. seeing the way different authors and artists do their craft helps me get in the zone of wanting to write more cause i get this nice feeling of “damn, these people really did those things with those words.....that’s fuckin amazing.....i wanna do that.” 

you do risk falling into the trap of “ugh i can’t write like them though” but that’s the beauty of writing. nobody can write the way anybody else does. ofc i can’t write like terry pratchett, only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett, and if i compare myself to terry pratchett i’m only gonna get sad and mopey. but i can write in a way thats totally unique to me so i should not try to write like terry pratchett because that’s just impeding my own creative energy in the interest of trying to cookie-cut myself into someone else’s zone. only terry pratchett can write like terry pratchett but only i can write like zero graffitibible.

i hope that was helpful? like this is all stuff that works for me so no guarantee it’ll work for everyone else.

oh right and idk how many of yall are minors because let it be known that i do not condone underage drinking; i am an adult who occasionally will get crunk because i like to write drunk and edit sober. if you too are an adult who can legally consume alcohol feel free to write while buzzed because that is a nice way to write with zero fuckin inhibitions. i dont get blackout drunk or nothing just a little buzzed and sometimes what i write makes no sense but i am at times at my most productive at 2am while mildly buzzed. its a thing.

like again i’m not really an authority on this by any means - this is just what works for me. but if it works for you too, great!! find your zone and all that

[k0o0be]

Bikepacking trip

full send

My bike trip:

so i and my bro made a plan to cycle from ooty to banglore.i was super excited for the triip.but the sad part was that i and my bro had a fight he day prior to leavingg.it was beacause he changed the plan without my conset and now we were headed to a hillstation with no prospects of ccycling.you know it felt really weird fighting with him because we were in this together.. Ive read many travel joouornals where this seemed to have happend.anywayonce we got on the train with our bikes packed i decided to let it go.i didnt want that to spoil the mood of the trip.anyway so we went to kodaikanal whch is a beautiful hill station towerin above the clouds.we did take our cycles there  but it wasnt a cyclable terrain,with all its ups and downs(infact my bro did try cycling there but his derailer broke and that brought an end to his cycling ),so we figured since we were already there we’d do some hiking and hiking we did.there were lots of places to go by walk and i enjoyed it alot.btw all along the trip i was listening to music by Queen and i had freddie mercury to keep me company,and im so thankful for hm.it was super fun too,we also came across some waterfalls where the water was super chill.the weather up there was really good.we lived upthere in a hostel where we made real nice friends.they were good company.all of them were an artistic bunch.they were either writers or musicians .anyway ,so we spent like three days in kodaikanal.but i was starting to feel bad  about my cycle.we had carried them all the wayupthere but we werent using them at all.so we decided to part ways. I would be doing a smaller version of my orginal plan.and i would meet him at banglore.(hed be taking a direct bus all the to banglore) even he wanted to join but his cycle now was unrepairable,the only problem for him was that he had to carry it all the way to banglore.

So i took a bus from kodaikanal to tiruppur with my cycle disassembled and from tirupur id cycle to banglore which is  approx 350 km.i had taken the bus at evening so i reached tirrupur at midnght.also i was doing a super low budget trip so no hotels for me.i had my tent.so as i reached at midnight i didnt know what to do .the bus stopped outside tirupur on the highway.i got down with all my cycle disassembled.i had no clue where i was and had to assemble my cycle up.for a minute or so i just froze not knwing what exactly to do. I was just realising how different everything was.btw tthis in  place is tamil nadu where they speak tamil and i didnt know tamil.i wasnt sure what i was gonna do for the night.i was hungry and tired and knowhere to sleep. Also no enrgy to set up the tent. So if figured ill just fix up the cycle and just start ridin.i needed some time to process what exacty was happening.so i rode in the dark slowly thinking about what would be next step.i decided ill just  sleep on the road infront of a shop,and ill j wakeup super early and leave before dawn.i used the rain cover of the tent as mat and slept on it .it was the worst sleep i ever had,so many mosquitoes and constant fear of being attacked by the street dogs.that morning i started off super early(well,since i barely slept) and i was FINALLY getting into that cyclng mood.also another local cyclist joined me .we rode togethr and chayyed away while at it.he was the owner of a small clothing line and had a very tedious job.he said he had to work everyday including sundays that too from morning right up until midnight.he barely had any time for anything .he said he had diabetes and therefore recenty had started cycling.that was his only way to relax and unwind.he was really impressed to see me cycling such a distance.he said he also wanted to do something like that but there was no way  he could.he said he came from a really poor family and had worked really hard to get where he was right now and had to work hard hours to keep up with his business.we spoke for a long time ,and i was happy to have company.he was surprised i was doing the trip with such little money.so despite me refusing ,he gave me money and a ton of fruits.like lot of fruits.i didnt want thaat much ,i couldnt carry stuff on my cycle,but he was adamant and i couldnt refuse.so i in return gave him a  box of chocalates i had bought up in kodaikanal.i had so many bananas i decided to have that as both my breakfat and lucnh.which turned out to be a horrible decision because by evning i had  zero enrgy to cycle.also it suddenly started raining .i was soo upset because i was not close to completing my daily qouta of kms.and i had no more energy and it was RAINING.i stopped under some shade and just lying down on the floor on the verge of tears. Spent maybe an half hour there,waiting for the rain to stop .once it stopped i got myself some real food. I ate until i was full.and im so thankful that i did. Then i was back on my bike ready to finsh them miles.the rest of the trip was great .i had met many people and all of them were really nice to me.many offered me food and bananas.(tamil nadu is famous for its bananas).i was goingthrough many villages and i used to stop at a village and ask a local if i could use their bathroom and id take a wonderful bath.btw all i had was a single pair of dress.so id taken bath.wash my clothes and and wear the washed clothes and conitnue driving. theyed dry up in a matter of thirty mintues and it ws actually nice wearing wet clothes it cools  down your body and hhelps against the heat.also had some great food along the way they were really inexpensive and therefore i got to try various different kinds of foods.btw i hadnt used my tent atall.my night time i didnt have energy to set up a tent so id just sleep wherever i felt safe and started off early in the morning before anyone could spot me.and during day time id take long naps during noon time when it was the hottest .id find nice trees with a good scenery and spend noon out there.on the third day i had cycled alot in the morning so during noon i found a nice flower plantation and decided to stay ther for a nap.but the place was so beautiful so i decided to stay there until evening.the farm had lots of trees.and i started climbing them. it was really peaceful out there. I was having the time of my liife

it took me 4 nights and three days to reach banglore. And by the end i was super proud of myself .i had been waiting to do a trip like this since a very long time and i finally did.

I met back upwith mybro in banglore,Btw i had another two days stay at banglore before we caught a train back home.so we stayed with one of my sisters collegemate.he is a really nice guy and took us all around banglore.banglore is a much bigger city than hyderabad(my home).so its  got better rock climbin gyms.i went there for indoor cliimbng and it was really fun.im quite enjoying climbin though im no good at it,it seems really fun.mybro is more into it than i am.i.

I cant wait to get back on the road like that again.i feel the best part about the trip was meeting all the people,everyone were really nice to me.

[18mjd]

throw that key to my heart and find the key to my prision cell and throw that away too

i met a boy and made him depressed. i tore out the insides of someone who loved me and ripped his intestines to shreds. i shoved my hand so deep in his chest and ripped his heart out and squeezed so damn hard. i didnt think i had that much strength. i really didnt. i always thought of myself as a decent fucking person but now i want myself dead. everybody thinks that rapists, school shooters, serial killers, etc are so bad but i am worse. i made a boy depressed. i didnt mean to do it but i did. he loved me. he still loves me. how? how can he love me when i did such a horrible thing. i didnt know you could love someone without a heart. I HAD HIS FUCKING HEART IN MY OWN DAMN HANDS WITH THE TIGHTEST GRIP. why did i watch the blood drain out of it? why.. A BOY THAT LOVED ME. A BOY THAT S T I L L FUCKING LOVES ME. after everything i did. i broke his skull with my words. i made his mind fill with mixed emotions and mean words. he eventually couldnt take anymore and his skull shattered. i should be in jail. i killed someone. i killed someone emotionally. why the fuck am i so sad all the time? always worried about myself when i should be fucking terrified of every word i said to this boy in hopes i dont make him sad on accident. this boy deserves everything. and guess what. because of you he spends his days getting higher than he ever thought he could get. he hides and says it’s other things making him upset. but hes lying. and dont even fucking get mad for him lying because IF IT WASNT FOR YOU, HE WOULDNT EVEN BE SAD IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOVE HIM AND CARE FOR HIM LIKE HE DID YOU ALL THOSE TIMES. what the actual fuck is wrong with me? i was supposed to care for him. i found a broken boy and instead of doing what i signed up for, i did the opposite. i am so sorry. i killed you. im so sorry. im so sorry. im so sorry. im so. fucking. sorry. i never will take you for granted again. my friends can fuck off saying shit like “this isnt your fault.” or “he did shit too.” or even “he HURT you.” FUCK OFF. I HATE YOU GUYS FOR BEING THAT WAY. YOU SAY YOURE MY FRIENDS BUT YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ME AND NEVER LISTEN TO ME. maybe thats what i get for hurting him. i dont even know what hurt is. i can NEVER compare a sadness like what i caused him. his friends SHOULD hate me. his family should never meet me. im a disgrace. it takes a life time for something good to happen but a fucking second to stab a fucking knife in someone heart. you breathe so heavily in your sleep. did you always do that? or did i puncture your lungs WHEN I THRUSTED THAT KNIFE IN YOUR BACK? IM SO FUCKING SORRY AND DONT YOU DARE TELL ME ITS OKAY. YOU LOVE ME AND YOU DONT NEED TO. i deserve to die. you are everything for not hurting my feelings after i made you not able to feel again. i hope one day you regain your ability to smile. why did it take me so long to realize you never smiled in pictures? you had that spot on your tooth and you used that to pretend like you didnt like to smile. all my friends are right when they call me stupid. i have no right to get angry over it anymore. they are right. i am the stupidest person to exist. I SHOULD HAVE FUCKING NOTICED IT. I WAS TOO BUSY DOING SOME SHIT THAT HURT YOU, PROBABLY. im so sorry i didnt notice. why do you keep coming back to me? why do you love me? all these girls out there who would love to have a love like ours and you chose to be with me after i destroyed you. im so sorry. a million sorrys will never fix what i done to you. i met a boy and made him depressed. i met a boy and i murdered him.

[spnbaby-67]

Craving You!

Summary: What happens when you find out that your co-workers have been getting raises behind your back, and you so want to say something but in reality you know you can’t. You take off to a Starbucks you go to everyday, and everyday it’s the same thing. Until today! You run into him. 

Pairing: Jensen x Reader (eventually others) 

Angst, anger, mood swings, unexpected meeting. 

A/N Hi this is my first ever fic that I am willing to share, I am nervous as hell as i normally don’t share my writings. Comments would be awesome, just go easy on the hate ones. I am very easy to get depressed. But excited to see what you think. Once i know how to do a masterlist, it’ll be located under that. Also a big thank you to Taylor  @impalaimagining for beta. She's amazing ya’ll and has many great series and one shots to read, go check her page out to. I forgot to add @secretlyfurrydragon she helped me as well and she has an amazing story to I love to read. this work is my own idea and is to not be shared without asking. Thank you! This is an Au, so let’s pretend Danneel is happy somewhere else, I love her to bits so no hate on her.. Jensen is single for the sake of this story.

Warnings– none on this chapter.

                                                     Chapter 1

I opened the door to the ladies room so I could wash off the unknown sticky substance that I had acquired when I signed for a package. The room went from chatty to dead silent. A  huddle of four of my fellow co workers looked relieved when they saw it was me "Y/N did you hear about Kali?" I shook my head no as I soaped up and rinsed my hands The one who's name I believed to be Ellen stepped toward me the expression on her face looked like the cat that ate the canary "Kali the woman who just started last month, well she came out of a meeting in the the CEO's office this morning and according to his secretary, Kali has been made head of our department and apparently a big raise to go with it." 

I was beyond speechless all I could force out was "I see."

Now that I had this news of what Kali had done, I was mad. No, I was beyond mad try pissed. I couldn’t believe she would stoop that low to get a leg up on the rest of us that had far more seniority than her, at a job where everyone was supposed to be equal. Once we were hired, we were told we were a team, we work together as a team, we were all on the same pay level and from what I've been told more than once nobody is getting a raise and believe me I tried. On several occasions I was practically ran out of the office for that reason. Madison the Ceo’s secretary told me a few months ago that the company had been struggling, so I dropped it.

No I’m better than you attitudes were not allowed in this office we are a team; that’s what attracted me to this place from the beginning  Fast Forward to five years later, and I was fuming.

In fact, I felt my blood pressure rise to the point that when I stood up I felt faint. Not what I needed to deal with on today of all days. My hands closed into fists almost in slow motion, till the tip of my nails connected with the flesh of my palms. My eyes squinted at the mere mention of her name. My heart pounded uncontrollably, like a drum solo gone wild. So yeah, I was fuming.

If I saw her even walking by my office smiling and acting as if nothing had happened, I did everything I could to keep myself from going out there and banging her damn head into the wall. Call it jealousy, or anger, or whatever but I was pissed. No, pissed was no longer the word for what I was feeling. It was more like deeply hurt and very confused.

I sat at my desk with a pencil in my right hand, tapping it with a nervous tick, trying to figure out what I wanted to do. Should I confront my boss? Should I go and punch Kali in the face? Should I quit my job and leave the company for lying to me? I sighed, knowing that no matter what, I couldn’t quit.

This was my job and my career. I had built a relationship with the company and people, so leaving was definitely out of the question. For now, however, I could go and confront my boss and find out exactly what had changed, but in the end I knew it would probably go nowhere. I dreaded the thought of updating my resume and I for sure didn't want create a mountain out of a molehill and risk getting tossed out on my ass, but to be passed over like this?

I took in a long breath, then I slowly let it out as I laid my forehead down on my desk, closed my eyes to keep an impending stress headache from taking over. My arms fell to my sides, hanging low in defeat, my heart rate slowly returning to normal.I decided I needed coffee.

Coffee from Starbucks in fact my most favorite place in the whole world. Vanilla bean frappuccino was my go to drink on days like this. No matter what happened to make me feel like my life had been sucked out of me, Starbucks had always been and would always be my best friend. I sat straight up, stood up from my chair, grabbed my purse from the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet and ripped my headset from my ears as I walked out of my office.

I pushed the button to the elevator and waited for it to come to my floor, quite impatiently, I might add. I decided to take a brief look around the office to see if I could see her, though I knew I wouldn’t, since she was lucky enough to have a conference call.

“Good for her,” I snarked to myself, then I entered the elevator.

I could smell the coffee before I opened the door, the rich aroma of different flavors tickling my senses. I was on a mission, one that would pacify my anger and calm me down,I got my order, and of course they messed it up. Yuk!! soy with no sugar? Really?  But I waited patiently yet again for them to fix it.

“How hard is it to make the same drink every day? I’m sure I’m not the only one who orders this all day long.” I huffed under my breath. After a few moments I got my corrected order, so I turned to go out the door back to work.“Seriously?” I closed my eyes as I felt the drink I had waited for twice over, the drink that was supposed to be my saving grace, smash against my chest and spill all over my clothes. “Great, just fucking great.” I muttered out loud, ready to bite the head right off the person who had done this to me… until I saw him.

[notoriousnewnew]

Fuck him...

I remember the time when we were bothing lying down in bed for about two hour or so. He was asleep. I was awake. I can't sleep. It has always been like that. Maybe I long for some cuddle (but it irates him because the weather is hot even at night), or maybe my mind just cant keep quiet, i don't know why but that routine is tiring. I was staring at the wall just below the ceiling for merely an hour maybe, after i got tired calling out his name, asking him stupid questions and disturbing his sleep. He wakes up easily so i had to refrain from moving, which i barely accomplish. Thoughts flowed. Flashbacks. Realizations. I realized for a thousandth time that i dont want to be in a relationship with this boy, but as always, i cant seem to end it. It's either he'd threaten me he'd kill himself or i'd feel bad breaking up with him cause he'd beg for me like a toddler begs for his mom when she's leaving for work. I closed my eyes to drift away the thoughts and try to sleep when tears snuck out of my eyes. I really couldnt do this anymore, but telling him triggers a big 'fight' that i just cant risk having over again. But I knew he wasn't the right guy for me. He claims he love me when in fact he really doesn't. I dont have the talent as to explain myself without him getting annoyed. And then i prayed. I asked God to touch my boyfriend's heart to end this, and to save his heart from suffering (if ever). I can't remember how but eventually i fell asleep, waking up earlier than him, as always. My prayer was somehow heard and granted by God. But when that time finally came, i forgot that i was the one who prayed for it. One time, i became the girl that begs him to let me stay and not chose this other girl that he once chose over me with. I was desperate and stupid to win him back, then i eventually got tired, and again it was the other way around. It was a bit tug of war back then, until i was the only one left holding the tie. Maybe he got tired of begging for me. Or maybe, he just grow up. He is not the boy to cry for her mama anymore. He can now live without me. And it gave me an unpleasant feeling, a big amount of unpleasant feeling to the point of being a freak. We got together, and break up. Together. Break. Together. And now finally, end. Well, i guess. I was depressed since he let me feel like he doesnt want me anymore, before i remembered that i was the one who wanted this. My reasons now came rushing through. I really did not want us anymore. The fact that he can live with himself and he is returning to his former love were the ones making me sad, but that did not mean i really want us back. Things were a blur up until we had that 'distance'. You really can see things clearer from a far. "I want to stop loving, loving him. It hurts and all I do is think about death and him and somehow I'm thinking more about him. I want to move on because I can't handle the pain of not talking to him let alone feeling his touch. Everytime I was in his arms I felt safe, I felt happy. I felt as if all the bad shit I felt went away, it was blissful. I don't blame him for wanting space, he has things to worry about and maybe I didn't do the same as he did for me. I know that he will find someone better, that won't be hard. But I do know one thing that he won't find, someone who loves him just as much as I do. The thing is I love too much, I dive into this void of love and so when I love I love with all of me, I love with passion and happiness, but sometimes loving too much can backfire and I end up in a corner thinking and thinking and it takes a really good while to stop loving someone. I don't think I can do it this time, it won't stop. The thing is, he talked to me again after it happened, after it all fell apart. He said he missed me and that he's sorry and he wanted to get back together. I said I wanted to but I'm to scared and now he won't talk to me unless I talk to him. He looks happy, less stressed, I guess I'm really a big thing to deal with. I'm jealous of all the people who get to talk to him and laugh with him like I once did, they don't know how lucky they really are. But at the end of the day It's just me and myself, me and my constant thinking and maybe I should just be alone. I'm sorry, I hate you and I just really want to be with you and I know that will never happen... I want to hate you She lays in her bed, half naked with a lit cigarette in her hand. She can’t decide if she wants to take another one or not. Too many flashes run in her mind. She takes one anyway. This is her third in an hour. She didn’t even bother to open the window; her room is drenched in smoke. It’s hard to tell that she once hated this smoke and loathed smokers. It was only almost a week ago that she found a friend, a best friend in Marlboro. Now, you have a million reasons to judge her. Slut. Spoilt. Rude. Careless. Bitch. Judgemental. Spendthrift. Irresponsible and whatnot. And if you deny that you are judging her, then sir, you’re undoubtedly lying. And you judge her because you don’t know her. A 17 year- old, beautiful looking, well brought up princess. What problems could she be possibly facing? Everything she says is just another excuse. Excuse. Do you have any idea how much she hates this word? Do you know how many times have people accused her of making excuses? Which law in the Vedas states that she is exclusive to any feelings? You don’t know the BTS; you don’t know what goes on after the curtain falls, when she takes off her fake smile. So go on, judge her when she smokes or holds a glass of whiskey in one hand and stares into nothingness. Judge her while she wakes up in beds of random guys from the bar; judge her when she’s high as a bird, living the time of her life and cries for no reason. She wouldn’t care. Because she’s been through a lot and has bore the pain of countless days and nights on her shoulders. You looking her in the eye and into that fake soul of hers that you’ve created hardly bothers her. She’s a brave girl now; she knows she has to stand alone. She keeps every secret hidden inside of her because she knows she has to go through it all alone. People might come and go, but they’re never going to stay. Her solitary nights, locked in that room are her only way to escape reality. Her smoke is her only friend that keeps her from doing things that she’d never planned on doing – it keeps her sane; and alive. It keeps her going. It will kill her, she knows that too. But others don’t realize is that it’s giving her just a little more time to live and to forget. She is the girl who is scared to take the first step forward; she will get attached to you until it hurts and then suddenly stop. She will wish the world for regardless of the fact that you have absolutely nothing to offer her. You think she’s too much to handle because she’s fighting tornadoes within herself. She’s struggling everyday to make it through the night. She doesn’t care because she has cared more than she should ever have. She just keeps getting hollower and hollower with each passing moment and that smoke that she takes in, fills her voids; helps her breathe without suffocating her. She might die in a 20 or 30 years, but at least she’s not doing it now. Let her fix her life back, because she will even if you don’t. She doesn’t care about people anymore. You know why? Because you made her numb. She Lost Herself Because of You She was a lonely girl until she met you. She fell for you because you showed her the moon and stars when she only saw the dark sky. She trusted you because you were the one there on her days of blue. She didn't love you because you brought her flowers on Valentines day, she loved you because you bought her her favorite drink even if she didn't asked you to. She fell in love with the little things you do and that's what made her complete, somehow. But she was a catastrophe and you didn't comprehend what she was feeling. You see, she never loved herself. But you did, temporarily. You were tired of her yet she understood. Before long, you realized she was difficult of loving and that's why you left. She doubted herself because she thought she was not enough. She cried every night knowing that she was unworthy and she apologized for being herself. She blamed her flaws and all the things she did that made you fell out of love for her. She lost you just like she lost herself. She wanted the pain to end. But that's the sad thing about pain, you can't share it or pass it on no matter how willing the next person is. You suffer alone in the end. She only wanted to be loved but how can someone love her if she does not know how to love herself? But yes, the pain has to stop and you are the first step on moving forward. You may not have given her all the love she needed but she never regretted every bit of memory you had with her. All the laughter, learnings and difficult times will remain in her heart. Remember that she will always consider you as her greatest love. And that's why she wrote this letter — to lessen the ache somehow. Hoping that one day the chapters of her sorrow will end and that she realizes how much she deserves. Better days will come and one day she will learn to love herself not because of you, but because of herself.

[itsokaytonottobeokay]

I know nobody cares but I'm going to vent anyways.

It all started summer of 2018, everything started to fall on top of me like a big giant weight.It was the time to go to Warped Tour,but getting my car ready for it to travel 2 hours away was a big hassle.Note: I've been living with my parents to help them financially,they also didn't want me to leave home.I didn't want to leave them my 12 cats as well so I stayed.Back on track my mother and I, had been fighting on weather my car was going to make it or not.Not only that, she didnt want me to leave because my father had been sick,and my aunt was in the hospital. But I had been planning to go to warped tour forever,I already pay for the tickets.So when I left warped tour only because I had cared about my friends well being,not only that I felt as if I should have gone home.But when I got back I found out what my aunt was diagnosed with,the reason why they do not tell me until I got back,was because it was cancer.Therefore she didnt have much time to live,so as I waited everyday I started painting my room(https://youtu.be/gZmTxMSS22oen) then I reranged it.But then my father was having complications,so the next morning we took him to the doctors.That's when we found out he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer.It was a devastated moment,as we went back to the house to grab his clothes,my father was on his way to a farther hospital.I decided to stay home I had a feeling in my gut that I needed to be home,and that's when I got a call.So my aunt picked me up then took me to go so my aunt,she was not doing so good.Right when the visit was over I had gotten a voice message from my friend,and it was just a fucking disaster.I rather just leave it at that who knows she can be stalking me right now,and will start drama again.But she didnt understand what it had been like going through all that shit nor did she respect it,I'll leave it at that.My mother was let go from work to take care of my father, I was working to pay for the bills in this time.As time went by one day my dad was in so much pain he couldnt stand it.Hospice called the ambulance,got him in there and left as my boyfriend and I followed behind them.When we got there,my mother had told me that he had lost his sight on the way there.It was 12:10 am, I'm telling my boyfriend that I can't work tomorrow so I need you to go in for me.So he left we all had been crying waiting for father to pass on,but he kept holding until 1:18 came around.He finally took his last breath,so we got up(my mother and I) kissed him goodbye,and we drove home.My Aunt passed away in August and my Father passed away in September.

I had a week leave off from work,I had people around me telling me I should have been paid for my leave.I went back to work I was still emotionally unstable,and my boyfriend kept hurting me emotionally. He thought I was taking everything out on him,but honestly he kept on telling me I had no reason to be upset.I had no reason to cry,and my friendship was coming to an end with the one I went to Warped Tour with.It made me more sadder to end it but she wanted me to be there for her when I could not,I had ALOT going on.So this kept going on for almost about a month but during that month,We Came As Romans put out they're doing shows to help raise money for Kyle Pavone's family. I donated with what I could supply,and I bought tickets.However my back was damaged from work, it was so bad I had to wear a whole back of lidocane patches,and we left to go to the concert(me,my mom,and her friend).We made it to our hotel.Then we had dinner at IHOP afterwards the time came to go.We stayed there donated more money,and bought more merch, said our condolences then left.

On our way home.

My mom got a puppy when I told her I didn't want it, because I knew I would have to raise it and take care of it.I took her puppy to work with me because I worked at a animal sanctuary,they said I could bring her there,and that they had room.

Weeks later? Can't remember clearly

My new coworker that was there for I think a month got fired,but was told she can stay until she finds a new job.I had pulled a muscle during my day's off which were Sunday and Monday,the worker just up and left.She left because she was not getting enough hours anyways,she found no point in staying there any longer.I know when she left I couldn't stay there any longer either, because they would want me to stay late.But I had pulled that muscle,not to mention the next day would be vet day where someone would have to stay late.So I freaked out,took everything I had there,hopped in my car.My boyfriend parked behind me, and my boss was coming as I quickly got out of there I hit the dumpster with my car.

Week later

It was Friday, that was the time we got our pay checks I sent my boss a message saying I was coming at 10:00 am to pick it up.So I showed up at 10:00 me,and my boyfriend got into a fight again so I broke up with him.I got back in my car I tried to call her my phone said she was blocked, I forgotten that I had blocked her.I take it off block to call her again,she picks up to say to pick it up at 5:00pm.So I drive home ,then my car starts acting up I drove it home as slow as possible.

I forgot to mention a week before I quit I had my dad memorial at my house,it was a fucking disaster thats all I would like to say about it.But we got Dad's death benefits check for $30,000.

So i picked up my check it said 9 hours on there when I had 17 I didn't bother though,and I cashed it.That day was so bad I drank,and got drunk.Everybody was just upsetting me when my father was sick, friends were redoing our kitchen ceiling,and well it got shitty.Me,and my boyfriend got into a fight so cried to my mom,and her friends, then one of her friends just talked about herself so I told her to shut the fuck up and stop being selfish.But it had been a rough experience until now (where we are right now in the story).So time goes by I'm without a car and a job my distant relative married to my cousin I add,but he's been coming over to "hang out" recently.It gave me a shitty vibe so one morning I hear my mom moaning,and I find out she's fucking my cousin's husband.She tried to come in to talk to me,I pretended I was sleeping until she tried to walk over to my bed to put her hands on me to wake me.I told her "Get the fuck out you're absolutely disgusting how can you do this when dad had only been gone for two months".

The paragraph after this, if you're triggered by self harm PLEASE DO NOT READ IT SKIP It, I DO NOT wish that for anybody.

The whole day I cried,and cried again,and again.I relapsed so hard,I cut myself over and over again.I had been clean from self harm for 7 years but this put me off the deep end.I also put my phone on airplane mode,i just could not handle social media at that moment.But I had been keeping tabs on my exboyfriend for days,through my friends because I was worried about him getting in the habit of drinking,and driving after we broke up.But that night when my mother started to cry over my dad being gone with her friend,as they were getting drunk.I realized that I always lived lying to myself,using my mom as an excuse to live.So I called my exboyfriend up said"I was sorry" and hung up, he contacted my friends to see If I was okay. Then he contacted my mother he didn't know he did wrong but after he did that,she came in my room got on top of me, held me down then was shaking me while saying "what's wrong, why don't you tell me anything" I told her.She said that if my ex boyfriend comes over she will make sure he does not come in,I screamed at her and said "he's done more for me then you ever will".Of course he came over we made up, he made sure I was okay, I had a lot of head pain for he gave me a full oxy.The biggest mistake is I didnt eat that day so the next day I had therapy,but I was puking, I felt like absolute complete shit.I just wanted to see my therapist that day,my mother gave me the excuse that just meant she didn't want to take me because she was a hung over piece of shit.So I end it up not going.

So over time everything got worse she left her dog at the house for me to take care of,while she went off every night to fuck my dad's friend.But of course I didn't find out until she started moving out,she left me the house but would not put it in my name no matter how much I begged.Before all this we were looking for a trailer to put in to replace this old falling down trash trailer, well that didn't happen.She kept buying things for her new boyfriend and new daughter as she did that she either spent the $30,000 herself, or someone got a hold of our information.She left me with all the bills overdue,she over drafted my bank account $200,and she spent my $3,000 I saved for a new car.My boyfriend started to live with me to help pay for things,I started cleaning the place up to look decent.Its been almost two months since my cars been broken down,ive begged her to fix I so I can get a job to pay for all this shit she left me.So because my boyfriend and I cannot afford it were moving out,to me its been real fucking awful.I've been so depressed I'm drowning in it,so has my boyfriend however I've been a shitty girlfriend. But he hasn't been that great either yet his family is the reason why I can get a apartment,and bring all my 12 cats with me.I'm grateful like beyond but leaving a place ive been living my whole life is tough, especially when my dad and I had been working to fix it.My boyfriend and his fmaily have been trying so hard to help me, I just feel uncomfortable accepting food because they've done so much for me as is.I told my boyfriend we should have stayed broken up so he didnt he have to deal with my bullshit,because I didnt want him to be stressed.But I fucked up by saying that but when I tried last night to confine in him about a post my mom made,he said he didnt care and to block her.He does not understand I cannot yet, I also dont want drama I have enough already on my plate.I told him he hurt me by saying he did not care about my feelings,and that all I wanted ever was someone to give a shit about me.Man its so tough,I won't be getting my taxes back either because of my college loan.I trusted her by giving her the money to pay it,I guess I was wrong. She says she paid it so she contacted the people who did my taxes.So I don't think my car will be getting fixed and my fucking cat is meowing so much because he's horny and just wants to fuck some bitches.But theres not bitches for him to fuck.That's another thing though cat food my boyfriend won't buy it so I have to sell stuff just to buy cat food.I'm not excited about moving out because it will be super sad for me because of memories you know? It just hard.My boyfriend hasn't talked to me sense last night because I said something shitty things but his thing is he avoids shit.I've thought about taking a fucking hike right before he comes home(if he does) just so I don't have to see him.I truly need a break man I'm trying so hard not to be suicidal,I just want to be happy,to have a better life,and to escape all this shit.I know I've been truly selfish against my boyfriend,not thinking about him feelings.But he doesn't know how to apologize and he hurt me when I'm already hurt.He keeps fucking up to in the kind of ways I need him as emotional support not as physical or financially. But I feel like I'm asking for to much.My friends have been distant as well i only ask them to hang out with me or to play game with me,but i cant get that even though they say "im sorry i dont know how to be there for you if there is something i can do please let me know".Well its simple be a friend thats all.Thank you for reading this I hope you're okay too,I hope I did not trigger you,I'm sorry this time around I cant say I hope you have a nice day just because I feel like complete shit.I have no motivation or will in me to be there for people that's why I just make YouTube videos.I try to use it to escape,have fun,and be okay if they can do the same for you I'm happy I can help somebody.

My YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTtIzAObiIH040IJf46te9w

Again Thanks for reading.

[heatmiiiiser]

.

[becausemynamesemilyhollis]

The words I cant say to you.

I dont know if you will ever read this or see this. But its 12:05 pm and im trying to sleep. Naturally I cant. I haven’t been sleeping well at all. Everytime i close my eyes I see us together..I see us happy..I see us looking at stars, taking late night drives, holding hands swinging on a swing..everything seems so happy. I try not to sleep, because waking up is the hardest part, coming into the reality that your not here. Well..not like you used too. It hurts sometimes. Actually alot. I sit here alone in the dark just dreaming of something that sounds too good..too sweet..to be true. It used to be. We were perfect. We’ve been through so much but always have seemed to come back, but this time is different. Something changed in you. I keep asking myself what I need to fix..what I did wrong..but..its you. It took you weeks to realize I was here and you kissed me..out of nowhere and my heart just..it dropped. I thought I was dreaming but really..it was real. You’ve been apart of me for so long. But now..no matter how much I love you it hurts. The love we had is gone and I know it is. You lied to me..and I found out every single one of your lies after it happened. I know the truth..and sometimes I sit here and think..she lied..and knowing she was lying and you couldnt trust her you still talked beautifully of her because you loved her. Love controls my heart. It has for the past three years of my life and god it hurts. Love has made me hurt people around me, and the person I love. Love has made me say horrible things I regret. Love has made me do things like have sex with people I dont even have feelings for. Love has made me kiss strangers and get drunk because my heart is so empty..Love has hurt me and made me forget what it felt like to be okay. I want to finally be okay. I want to love someone who gives me the love I deserve, Who pays attention to me. Who makes me feel so loved, and my heart so full. Who kisses my head and cheek and reminds me how much they love me. Someone who gives me their all even when things go wrong. Someone who could never hurt me..because it would hurt them. I just..I dream of this perfect person. And god I want it to be you. But my friends..everyone is saying it isnt. everyone says you dont love me anymore. Everyone says you dont care and I need to stop talking to you. But lately..even the bit of affection you’ve given me..has brought just a little happiness back into my life..just a little. I just wish we could go back. To when you were next to me almost everynight. and we talked all the time..I had your full attention and you had mine, where we didnt need anyone else but us. But its gone. Im still here because i love you. And  when i tell someone “forever” i mean it. I know ive done things to hurt you. But only because I couldnt trust you..and I have reasons not too. I only tried moving on because I want to trust someone..Its so much easier. But the thing is. I cant seem to move on. My love for you is too strong. My heart is yours and I just wish you would take care of it better..and put it back together. I love you. But yes it hurts. It hits me the worst at night..I just overthink things. And i need to realize that we dont always get what we want..or think we need, Sometimes you have to learn to let go. no matter how much you want to hold on. but for right now. My heart wont let go..but one day I will be okay. One day ill be able to sleep. One day Ill be able to wake up next to someone everyday and be able to be filled with the love ive been looking for. I wish it was you..maybe still hope its you. But im afraid the love you had for me..is never coming back. And I just have to accept that.. 

[sparklyeaglepoetry-blog]

Appeals for insurance company?

"Appeals for insurance company?

i was wondering on average how long does it take for a car insurance company to process appeals if someone knows it would be greatly appreciated

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I been court ordered to get a sr 22 insurance in order to get my licence back and i do not own a car.. so i have to get the non owners sr22. i have too keep it for three years . i was woundering how much that would be, monthly?""

Insurance Question/Calculations?

Insurance Calculations Given a patients remaining deductible (Deductible), co-insurance responsibility percentage (CoInsurance), co-payment (CoPayment), and maximum out-of-pocket (OutOfPocketMax): 1)Use those parameters to write an equation to calculate the estimated patient cost for a $1,000 test. (You can use Excel notation if you want.) * 2)Using the same parameters, write the equation for the insurers expected payment, in the case of a $1,000 test. Calculate the patient's responsibility with the following parameters: 1) Deductible=$100, CoInsurance=15%, CoPayment=0, OutOfPocketMax=$1,000. A patient has a PPO plan with a $250 deductible with none of the deductible met. The plan has a co-insurance of 30% with no co-pay for lab services. 1)Solve for this patient's responsibility Thanks for the help!""

How much does your insurance go up when you get in a fender bender?

My brother got in a fender bender. He is 16 and got his license about 9 months ago. The other car wasnt badly damaged, just minor. We live in California. Anyone know about how much his insurance policy will go up?""

How much will my auto insurance be on a 2013 Kia rio5?

How much will my auto insurance be on a 2013 Kia rio5?

Insurance on a 2003 SAAB 2.0.?

I am 16 and i really like this car. It is Turbo charged, which i really am not worried about.. i am a very careful driver.not looking for speed.. and never been in an accident. how much do you think the insurance would be a month??""

Will my insurance rate go up for this careless?

i was driving down the road day after we got all that snow in december i hit a mail box and went in a really shallow ditch ..couldnt get out... left my car there for the night thinking it would be ok... in the morning car wasnt there so called o.p.p they said ya they have my car they just wanted to talk lol so i go thre he wrote me up a carless and leaving seen of accident ..he asked wanna go through insurance i replied no i will pay for the mail box myself which i did. no one was hurt only the mailbox...the carless was a 490.00 fine.. does anyone know how much my rate would go up just for a silly little careless like that??

Does my insurance rate go up for next year?

I got a citation for an infraction recently. I was sober and I drove my friend back onto campus. There were two stop signs at night and I did not see any lights so I thought no car was there and I passed right through the stop signs. When I parked a police officer came by and wrote me a citation so now I have to show up to court. I was wondering if my insurance rate goes up for this and if so, by how much? My insurance company is AAA.""

Question about auto insurance?

I'm 16 and have my license and my own truck that i am the primary driver on, but i'm also the secondary driver on my dads truck does that make my insurance cost more by being the secondary driver?""

What are the average car insurance yearly rates for a teenager in Chicago with Good Grades?

What are the average car insurance yearly rates for a teenager in Chicago with Good Grades?

I wanted to know how comes my insurance is so cheap now but when i did it 7 moths ago it was 2800?

so 7 months ago i got my insurance third party fire and theft with 2 additional drivers me as first driver and i am 20 for 2800,, and now i checked with the same details i did last time i didnt put down any experience or anything did it same exactly as last time and its about 1950 now ??? wth did i get ripped off? car is a vuaxhall corsa 2000 model""

What is the best way to compare auto insurance quotes?

I am needing to find new car insurance, and I of course would like to shop around for the best deal. Can anyone recommend a good site that will compile your information and give you multiple accurate quotes from different companies? I am leery to enter my information into a third party database, so confidentiality, professionalism and no spam is a must. Thank you!""

I have a $500 deductible with my car insurance (State Farm) and was wondering if I could use that deductible t?

To actually fix my car up to it's showroom look (Currently driving with a broken bumper, dented fender, and broken headlight/signal marker not caused by me mind you)??""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old in CA?

anybody know?

What are some cars that look good and are cheap?

Well it's time i can almost actually get a car and drive... I'm a teen so obviously my first car can't be to expensive.. i'm looking for any cars that look good and hopefully people can tell me some that would look good.. i know i shouldn't care as much about looks but basically i'm trying to find a used car around 100,000 miles maybe a little more or less for under $6000... i can't get a real expensive car because of insurance i'll have to start off on basic so i'm wondering if there are any nice looking cars that are cheap... I had in mind an eclipse or something but i'm really not sure if i want something like that but thanks...""

Cost of health insurance for children in houston?

Hi, can anyone advise what is the average cost of health insurance to buy for children, and what factors might affect the cost. Thanks.""

How can i compare all life insurance products of all companies?

How can i compare all life insurance products of all companies?

Good car insurance sites?

Would like to know if any of you know of any good car insurance sites. I am a student who will be driving a fiat punto/ maybe even a skoda fabia.

Will insurance pay for an insured car that's borrowed and driven by an uninsured driver?

well, it's a brand new car that belong to my father, i borrowed it and got in an accident because i slip off the road, the car is totaled and im really worried about the coverage. my dad has Infinity-insurance, so yes the car is insured however i do not have any kind of auto-insurance at all nor am i listed in my father's policy. will my father's insurance pays for the car?( if possible, please answer it base on Infinity-insurance)""

Does my insurance go up?

I have my permit and im getting my license soon the insurance already up just adding me but will it go up more if i get my license

Insurance on a 69 camaro?

How much will it cost a month for insurance on a 69 camaro and i live in florida and im 16

Car insurance estimate for a 2006 BMW 325i for a 17 year old guy?

My mom is being stubborn about getting a quote because she wants to wait until i'm 18, but i don't. I live in Louisiana if that helps. Thanks a lot.""

Appeals for insurance company?

i was wondering on average how long does it take for a car insurance company to process appeals if someone knows it would be greatly appreciated

350z insurance cost tx 16year old?

how much is insurance for a 2006 350z for a 16 year old first car in texas?

Cost of insurance on a mercedes Benz each month?

i have to do a gay project

How much will my insurance increase after two at fault accidents?

I was in an accident at the beginning of the year and six months later I was involved in the same kind of accident. I was at fault for both accident. I was wondering how much would my insurance would increase. Thanks!

Can i wait till after i pay my speeding ticket to go to traffic school so my insurance wont go up?

I got a speeding ticket last night for driving 80mph on 65mph highway. I have Allstate insurance. I got it in los angeles california. I already went to traffic school this year for failure to signal but its almost been 12 months.

Do I have to tax a car if it is insured? I know that you HAVE to insure a car if it is taxed.....?

What I know. You have to tax your car unless you do a SORN. If you have done a SORN you don't have to pay car tax or even insure your car if you don't want to. If you don't intend to drive your car but it has car tax then your car HAS to be insured by law. But what about the other way round ...? If you have a car insured but it is in the garage and you never intend to drive it, for example it is a collectors item, do you HAVE to tax it? I can find on the net yes you have to insure your car if it is taxed but cannot find confirmation either way whether you HAVE to also have your car taxed if you never intend to drive it but you do want it insured. If someone confirms that it doesn't have to be taxed, could you provide details of where you found this information so that I can obtain a copy for my records please? Many thanks Lisa""

Car health insurance...?

Why does car health insurance not exist I mean if it did then you would just pay a premium and then when you took it to a repair shop the insurance would cover it.

Do you not have health insurance? How do you pay for care when you need it? Where do you go?

Do you not have health insurance? How do you pay for care when you need it? Where do you go?

What is the average cost to repair a lexus car dent?

I recently hit a lexus while i was backing out of a parking lot, there was a medium(not too big or small) dent on the drivers door....i dnt have insurance so what would be the average cost of the rapir. Tghe lady claimed she took her car to lexus to get an estimate and she told me it was going to cost $2000 because she needs a whole new car door (lying *****)....any way, do u think the lexus dealers would be bias of me not having insurance if she told them i dnt? could they be price gauging me?.....please someone answer me with hope!""

If i get my medical card in california will my parents see it since they pay for insurance?

I am about to get my card and i was wondering if my parents will see it, since they still pay for my insurance.""

Pregenant without insurance!!!?

Pregenant without insurance. What are the options? Would hospitals allow payment installements? Definitely want a safe and equiped place to give birth at. Any idea what it will cost about? We are in the NY metro area. Feedback please.

Is it possible to buy life insurance to insure the life of someone on death row?

Chances are, like in California, they'll just die of old age, so it's not that bad of a risk.""

Is there a way to get fake or extremely cheap car insurance?

I don't care about the service. I want it cheap.

A question about car insurance?

whats your opinion, why car insurance is so high?. do you think the accidents on the road and up goes your insurance are young drivers, drunk drivers, junk cars on the road, or do you think its something else?i been driving since 1967 and i was in only 1 accident, so thats a pretty good record, i think, but iam going to town tomarrow, and i dont know whats going to happen before i get back home. anymore, iam always glad when iam back home, and off the road, but i guess your not even safe walking along the roads these days.thanks folks.""

Can i get a ticket for no insurance?

Can i borrow my moms car. I have a valid drivers license and her car is insured under her name i'm not on the policy. Can i get a ticket for no insurance if im not on her policy?

Affordable car insurance/ college student. please answer =]?

hey everyone! i am looking for some car insurance! like... the most affordable i can find... for a 98 nissan. i am 18 years old, no accidents or tickets. and im a broke college student soooooo the cheaper the better, and just liability is fine. any suggestions? good/bad experiences? thank you!!""

How will this speeding ticket affect my insurance?

I got a speeding ticket. The insurance is under my fathers name. Will the insurance price go up because of MY speeding ticket?

Can anyone recommend affordable homeowners insurance?

I live in Muscatine, IA. I am interested in either national or local companies. Anyone have a company or policy they think is a good deal? Who has the friendliest agents? Thanks!""

Insurance Help for a Teen?

I'm about to get a used 2004 Lexus Sc430 hardtop convertible. It's a V8 with 288 horsepower. My friend has a 400 Horsepower Trans Am but he put his name under his dad's truck as the primary driver so they wouldn't get killed with insurance rates. If I put my name under my dad's tahoe as the primary driver and under the lexus just listed under the car as not the primary driver. Can I get in trouble for this?

Homeowner's insurance and lawsuit?

If I was physically assaulted on someones's property by their family member, can I sue homeowner's insurance? The grandson of the homeowner had been drinking and during a discussion he punched me and broke my jaw.""

Where can you find the best/cheapest car insurance for a 17 year old?

I am 17 years old and I hav recently jst passed my driving test. I was wondering where i can find the cheapest car insurance. Preferably, i would like to put myself as second driver of the car (under my dads name who is the main driver). But does any1 kno where i can find the cheapest car insurance for someone my age? Thanx in advance.""

How many percentage in texas citizens buy life insurance?

how many people in texas buy life insurance.

How to find cheaper auto insurance?

i have a 98 honda civic, and got an insuance quote from geico.com the quote was $365/month thats ridiculous, i dont even make that much every month any suggestions?""

Can i get a bought car with someone elses insurance?

So i bought a car but it needs to be fixed so i need to tow it to my house. I dont have insurance on it yet until i fix it. My parents have triple A and are real good customers. Can triple a tow the vehicle to my house even of its not insured yet?

Affordable health insurance in NC?

Hello everyone. I have been a few months without health insurance and I know I need it. I am looking for some affordable insurance, health, dental, and possibly maternity? I am not pregnant but I want to take some preventative measures just in cause, I know it can be expensive. I keep looking but $700 and such a month is really not in my budget right now. So does anyone know of some cheap insurance? I'm in NC. Thanks everyone!""

Help with comprehensive and collision car insurances?

For example, if someone got their tires slashed, does this fall into the comprehensive car insurance category? And do you have to pay a deductible just like when using collision insurance to pay for damages?""

Appeals for insurance company?

i was wondering on average how long does it take for a car insurance company to process appeals if someone knows it would be greatly appreciated

Car insurance question ?

I am now 20 and i am planning on buying a car. I heard that the insurance price is high for beginning drivers so I was wondering if the price goes down as I age...what are the best insurance companies that do this ? Thanks !!

How much is your car insurance?

How much are you paying for full coverage or what ever you have and where do you live. $265 a month in New Orleans LA Full coverage.. is this a lot compared to your state?

About how much is Valet parking insurance in FL?

garage liability insurance

Cheap car insurance..?

I need to know a cheap place around here that is under $80 for three people. I tried looking it up, but where I am staying at right now the Internet sucks on my phone. I'm 20, my parents are over 50. And we live in Cleveland, Tx So, I guess what I'm asking is if someone can look up a cheap place for me.""

How much can i expect to pay for insurance?

Hi, Well im about to finance a Mercedes-Benz C300 and wanted to know how much should i expect to pay for insurance. Im 19 by the way, have a credit score of 710, dont know if insurance companies look at scores, but finally, this will be my first car. Hope that helps. Thank you!""

Can my dad by a motorcycle and put it under his insurance for me to drive?

ok im conused about this whole thing i know for a 16 year old motorcycle insurance is crazy. So how would this work my dads been driving all his life(Harley-Davidson) and his insurance is cheap, now for me its gonna be alot of money so can he buy the bike and put it under his name then i just drive it so then it wont be so much $ on me? can this work or is that illegal for me to be driving someone elses bike? is there anyway like i stated above to make my insurance cheaper if this doesnt work?""

How much would be insurance on a toyta celica for a 17 year old in uk?

I'm planning to get this car when i get my licence i was just wondering how much it would cost me. I'm getting it with bodykit and custom paintjob and it will be my first car

Hayabusa Mini Insurance. (Kit car?)?

I am a young driver and I was hoping to buy a Mini with a Hayabusa engine from someone like Z-Cars. I have heard that some people have got cheap insurance for them. I have heard of a 17 year old who had just passed his test got insured for a hayabusa mini for 1500 which is cheap for a 17 year old. I was just wondering if there is anyone has insured a Hayabusa or similar Mini for road use. If so how much was it and from which insurance company? Thanks

""How much does it really cost to have a car,do you know where the info is ?""

I know there is like a true cost of owning a car and it includes the wear and tear, depreciation, gas, tune ups, keep up, insurance, car payments etc. Anyone know where to get that info please ? thaks""

Buying a car/insurance help?

I am 17, currently taking driving lessons and looking to buy a car. I wanted quite a big car, such as the Ford mavric as ones that i have found in my price range. However the insurance is huge for them type of cars. I was wondering if anyone could tell me quite big cars with cheap insurance Thanks""

17 year old male first car insurance help!?

i really want a car im 17 but the insurance is crazy ive looked at about 30 cars on go compare today the cheapest i found was 5k for a old mini and none others were under 7 thousand. a 1l corsa 1as 7500! a 1.15 clio was 8 grand its ridiculous. Does anyone know how to drastically lower or any cars that are very cheap? thanks

Does anybody know of any insurance plans?

Im 20 yrs. I have no dental insurance or medical insurance. Does anyone know of anything that I can apply for? I have no job and I'm a full time student in college. Also, my parents do not have insurance either.""

Can anyone recommend a good life insurance company?

I know all circumstances are different but I would like some recommendations as there are so many to chose from and I am sick of repeating my details, so if I could whittle it down a bit it may help!""

Cheapest insurance for young drivers in the uk?

Cheapest insurance for young drivers in the uk?

How much would i get from the insurance?

I was involved in a car accident in Sept 2009. I sustained low and upper back injurie, left side shoulder and neck and severe headaches. I have been dong treatments such as chiropractic, acupuncture, massage and phisio therapy. As of right now i am only doing physio therapy and massagge, however the injuries have not healed yet. If for any reason i dont get better for another year or 2, how much would i be getting from the insurance as a settlement? The medical bills as of Sept 2010 were around 13 thousand. I was employed at the time of the accident and have not returned to work since the accident. My car was totaled and the other driver was fully at fault. I am just wondering how much would i be getting roughly if my case lasts for 2-3 yeas in total.""

Why is Geico auto insurance so cheap?

I just got my Allstate bill in the mail and my insurance went up to $100/month. So, i called them, told them to screw off and called Geico. They told me because of my perfect credit, perfect driving record, etc...that it would only be $48/month. I obviously switched and asked them how they could be so cheap. She said it was mostly b/c they don't have agents. Is this just too good to be true?""

Insurance question HELP PLZ?

On the insurance to get a quote, it says to list all the violations within the last 3 years. I have got one speeding ticket but was cleared because i took the Stop Class. So do i have to put this down as one of the penalities""

""If your added to a car's insurance, can you start driving right away or do you need to wait until you get the?

document in the mail

What cars get low insurance rates?

I am a 16 year old and just planning ahead for when i'm 17 and get my G2. I want to buy my own car...obviously a used one...a very cheap one. I am looking to spend as little money as possible on GAS and INSURANCE. I understand there are possible discounts for good students, or if you take a driving course...but in general, what cars get low insurance?""

If you want to buy health insurance instead of using the health reform health insurance from obama?

will you be allowed to do this, and are these insurance companies going to provide very good coverage so that people will get good medical care compared to now? what do you think the trend with private insurance that you can buy for yourself will be ? Better or worse than the obama health insurance?""

How much do you pay for car insurance per year?

i pay $3000 a year on car insurance, im 22, female, 3 points on my license and drive a v8 mustang, red. progressive. NJ HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY? please put everything i put above, but for you, survey for college class. thanks for helping!""

Where can i go to talk about health insurance in az?

i tried to look up insurances online but im not finding what i need, or just dont understand it.. i want to know where i can walk in and ask a person face to face any questions i have.. i dont know anything about insurance""

How much would car insurance cost ?

I was just wondering how much it would cost for car insurance for a 17 year old Male in England Also in no that there are different types of insurance what do they all do These are the cars I'm thinking of buying Ford ka sport Fiat punto Vauxhall corsa Citroen Saxo Roughly how much would they cost and whats the best insurance option to take ? :)

""My car has been tranferred name, if I still drive the car, do I need to buy new car insurance?""

I am existing car owner, due to financial problem, I transfer my car to my brother's name. However, I still drive the car, would I need to buy new car insurance for myself, or I can still using existing one""

Where can I find affordable health insurance?

I live in Texas and I've searched high and low for good private health insurance. I would have loved to go with the insurance my job offers, but, unfortunately, they only gave me the run around and cold stares. Im broke, so I can only afford something that costs $20-$80. Thank for the help! ^_^""

Appeals for insurance company?

i was wondering on average how long does it take for a car insurance company to process appeals if someone knows it would be greatly appreciated

How much do you think motorcycle insurance would be for me?

I am 23 and don't have my motorcycle license yet. I have had my own car insured for 5 years with no speeding tickets or accidents or anything if that makes a difference. I currently pay like $100 a month for auto insurance. I would get an older bike (1980s) that is small (maybe 600 cc)... nothing sporty or anything. Also, how does motorcycle insurance work in terms of paying it during the winter when Im not driving it? Thanks, Chris""

Would this car make my insurance go up?

I'm thinking about purchasing a 97' Cavalier LS Convertible, would this car make my insurance go? and by how much? Also does anyone know anything about these cars? Are they good cars? Mechanically wise and gas wise. By the way, I'm 16 in case that effects your answers.""

Insurance for 18 year old in cooper s with 1 year ncb?

Im 18 with one year no claims, looking to buy a Mini Cooper s, anybody recommend any insurance companies or had any quotes or advice would be good thanksss :)""

Is it illegal to drive without insurance?

I got my G1, and you allowed to drive with an adult in the car. But i don't yet have insurance but my mom does, if she has insurance can i still drive the car? She wont let me because i don't have my own insurance yet. Is it legal for me to drive?""

How much does Invisalign Teen cost to get without insurance?

Im looking into Invisalign Teen because i really dont want braces and since Invisalign is just as effective i want to try to get it. our insurance wont cover it though, how much would it cost for me to pay for it out of pocket?""

How can I get the cheapest possible car insurance?

I'm going to buy my first car in a few months, and I need to sign up for car insurance. I don't know where to start. I only work part-time so I want the bare-bonest of plans, absolute cheapest possible.""

Car insurance legal team?

Do you have to use the legal team that comes with your car insurance or can you choose an independent one? Had an accident and am not happy with the insurance company's attitude - we had a rear end collision.

I hit someones car who doesn't have car insurance?

so at school in the parking lot i hit a parked car and left it there. a hit and run i guess. i told someone who told the girl. so she told me she would go halfs with me on the damages. the damages is $1,000. i asked her again if she would go halfs with me and she said she couldnt. i dont have $1000 and i found out she doesnt even have car insurance (through someone else). i live in MA and its illegal if you dont have car insurance. your license will be suspended. so im trying to get her to admit that she doesnt have car insurance. so then what do i do? any advice?""

Insurance rates after one accident?

On the average how much would the insurance go up for one at fault accident, just an average.""

Need new car insurance?

im with nationwide paying 3,400 per 6-months and im looking to pay less than that for 3 vehicles. what insurance companies can i look at for a cheaper rate?""

What is the best source to compare the insurance costs for all model of cars and trucks?

I am looking for a list that has the average insurance rates for different model of cars. I need makes and models listed all together in a single source, and don't have the time to compare just 3 or four models at a time, nor go on line and check out one at a time. I need something in a spreadhsheet, or that I can cut and paste into a spreadsheet.""

Health Insurance Company?

What is the best health insurance company in United States?

Cheapest & Best Auto/Motorcycle Insurance?

Can people please share what they think is the cheapest & best insurance? We currently have state farm & feel we're getting ripped off. We have 2 vehicles 93' Ford F150 (owned, no payments) 00' Chevy Cavalier (owned, no payments) 83' Honda Sabre(Motorcycle, owned, no payments) THANK YOU! Also, why do they ask for a SS# when you apply?Are there any companies who dont? I hope theyre not checking my credit score =( I'm trying to raise it!""

Please Find me good quote for car insurance for young drivers?

Car Insurance for Young Drivers Quotes

""I wanna buy a 2008 car, how much would i pay for the insurance?

i am 30 years old and i just got my driver's license

""Does your car insurance go down when you turn 25? If so, how much...?""

Does your car insurance go down when you turn 25? If so, how much...?""

Can I Still Be Covered Under My Parents Car Insurance?

Im currently under my parents car insurance policy, I got married not too long ago and was wondering since I got married can I still be under their car insurance? Thanks""

Motorcycle Insurance Fee?

Hi, My name is Johnny. I'm 19 years old and live in Santa Monica, CA. I currently have DL and I know I need to get Motorcycle License to drive Motorcycle. I've been driving for 9 months and had no accident at all. Although, I sometimes drive my parents' cars and have no insurance. I heard that driving motorcycle will cost me less on payment and insurance. I want to buy like, Harley Davidson model from 2006-2008. How much will it cost me for my insurance?""

Should I sue Texas for requiring me to buy auto insurance?

After all I'm a good driver, and I'm willing to take your chances that I'll be financially responsible if something unexpected happens. Why should I be forced to take part in the government sponsored mandate to purchase something? What about free enterprise and my freedom to spend or not spend my own hard-earned money? Maybe I could get my case heard by the Supreme Court....""

How come Obama will now allow the same insurance coverage that he was against before?

If you like your health care plan, you'll be able to keep your health care plan, period""

What is an affordable insurance for my child?

Im looking for an affordable insurance company for my daughter that has decent copays and covers dental, eye, meds etc. Ive been looking online but cant seem to find what im looking for. If anyone has any experience or suggestions your help is appreciated. Thank you!""

Whats the cheapest quote you have gotten for your car insurance?

were you happy with the quote? what company was it with? are u still with that company?

Good insurance companies..I want to switch my car insurance..I need advice?

I have my auto insurance with Allstate and they're just ripping me off. They're always bringing up the prices yearly and I want to know where I can get a better offer. My car is a 2004 Elantra and they want to charge me 1 369 $ from March 4th to January 24th and that's just too much. I know there must be a better insurance company out there. Which ones and can I get a quote online ?

Long term car insurance abroad?

I need to leave UK for 3-4 months and I need car insurance for my car. Currently I have Elephant insurance but they only offer 30 consecutive days for driving abroad but I need longer than that. Is there other company which can insure for longer than 90 days? Or what do you usually do? Can I insure car with local insurance companies if I have UK registration? Thank you

Car insurance????? ?????????

ok i turn 17 very shortly and want a peugeot 106 diesel(which is a 1.5) it is insurance group 3 and good mpg, but would it cost much for me to insure and could i get an insurance quote from a insurance brokers at 16 without owning the car first? i hope it won't cost much but one off my mates has the peugeot 106 gti quicksilver and that's a 1.1 and his insurance is 2500 while another mate has a corsa 1.1 3 door fully mod with subs,amps,alloys head unit all covered 3rd party fire and theft at 880 a year so surely a diesel 1.5 shouldn't cost much? right.lol""

Appeals for insurance company?

i was wondering on average how long does it take for a car insurance company to process appeals if someone knows it would be greatly appreciated

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/help-finding-affordable-health-insurance-isaac-oneill/"

[blog-optimisticcoffeestuden-blog]

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

"Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

RELATED QUESTIONS: 

Why would someone buy life insurance from Colonial Penn (whoever that is)?

instead of a reputable well known insurance carrier? Second question: Seniorites, do you remember the boob tube without googling.""

How much will this ticket bring up the car insurance?

My boyfriend is 17 and getting his license. About a year ago, (last summer) when he just had his temps, he was driving without a parent and speeding in the middle of the night. The speed limit was 65 and he was going 104... He got caught by the police and had to go to court but he got off easy and they didn't give many charges. They let him off really easily actually. He just got his license delayed for 3 months, so he had to wait 3 more months to get it. That was all that happened though. So now he's all worried about how high his insurance will be and how many points will be added on his license and stuff. Like how much higher will his insurance go up? He lives in Ohio. &He's not a bad kid or anything.. he was just messing around with a few friends one night and they just so happened to get caught...""

Driving without auto insurance?

what are the concusguences

Where can I find affordable health insurance?

I live in Texas and I've searched high and low for good private health insurance. I would have loved to go with the insurance my job offers, but, unfortunately, they only gave me the run around and cold stares. Im broke, so I can only afford something that costs $20-$80. Thank for the help! ^_^""

Am I obligated to keep homeowners insurance?

I filed a theft claim earlier this year. Now my insurance company is telling me that they will not continue my coverage due to the claim. Im going to other insurance companies and gettting quotes, but they are stating that due to the claim, they will not cover me either. So my question is if my finance company will obligate me to find coverage on my home. (1st time homebuyer)""

How do car insurance companies determine fault when both drivers are giving conflicting stories? the other dri?

the other driver made a claim with his company. my damage is minimal. do i need to call my insurance company. he is lying and is at fault, but denies it to get his car fixed.from another accident. statements have been made to his company. ty.""

Which car might be more on insurance for teens: A 1998-2002 Lexus ES300 or 2006 Jeep Commander?

Which car might be more on insurance for teens: A 1998-2002 Lexus ES300 or 2006 Jeep Commander?

What is a good affordable health insurance company?

I am 21 yrs old, with no existing health conditions, but I make too much money to get coverage from the state. My employer does offer insurance but it's very expensive and the coverage isn't worth the amount of money they want me to spend.""

Best Job description for a full time eBay seller? (For car insurance quote)?

I'm about to renew my car insurance but need to find the most appropriate and accurate job description for my trade. I am self employed as a soul trader (UK) and my main income is achieved through making small hand crafted items (mostly material based) and sell them on eBay. So far I've been using the job description of 'artist' In the 'manufacturing' industry, but I was wondering if there was a more accurate one on the standardised job description list?""

Sports car with low insurance cost?

i'm 16 and i'm going to get a car when i'm 18. i'm saving up more money so i can get a good car. i take cars very seriously. i was thinking of getting a 1990-1996 miata or a car like that. i want a want a good looking car that has rwd and manual transmission.

How much should an 18 year old female pay for car insurance?

I live in Nevada and am 18 years old,I am paying 1,000 for a six month premium.so thats like 200 dollars each month.I thought that was normal but then all my friends were telling me I was paying too much.One of my friends pays only 1,300 for a full year and she has a brand new car and is younger than me.I have a used 1995 honda passport.And its only liability im paying.I have been in no wrecks at all and have had no tickets.My driving record is clean.My friends were shocked,they said i was getting ripped off,they told me I should only be paying like 100 dollars a month.is this true?Even when I had my older car i was still paying 200 a month and it was an old 1988 beat up honda with liabilty and that doesnt sound right at all.my other friend as an old car and pays 80 a month.Im with a local company and i went with it because my parents told me it was the cheapest and I figured they were right, I figured all the bigger companies life state farm and progressive would be more.""

Is there any affordable insurance plans I can get in NJ( South NJ )?

Particularly Dental Insurance. I am 20,a Part-time worker who also goes to college full time. I am not covered by my parents nor have I ever had insurance. I am one of the many Americans who do not recieve proper health care due to low income however I do need to get Dental Insurance, and Health Insurance. Is there any reasonable companies to look into?""

Driver's ed insurance? *POINTS FOR BEST ANSWER*?

I am currently 17 years old, and I am in driver's ed in CO. Will my insurance be cheaper because I took driver's ed? If so, is it only temporary? (for minors) And do I have to show my completed hours of driver's ed BTW and classroom hours paper for proof of going to driver' ed to an insurance company? Finally, when does your permit expire if you never got a license?""

For car insurance is it better to get it through a broker?

I am 19 years old and I have never had insurance (I have had my license for a year). There is a broker right now charging me $508 to be insured for the whole year. Before finding this broker the cheapest I could find was at State Farm and they were charging $720/year. The thing is I was told I would be charged $33/Month by the broker which would total $396 for the year. Is the remaining $102 their (the brokers) commission? What do you think?

Another pregnancy insurance question?

we live in california, and we need insurance very soon, what is the household income limit to get assistance for a pregnancy""

Insurance for a 17 year old male?!?

Ill be turning 17 soon and ill be taking driving lessons. Ive been looking at car insurance for a 1.2 renault clio ( cheapest quote 5000) 1.1 citroen saxo(couldnt get a quote but when i did 14,000. Whats the best ways to get it cheaper. I also tried a 1.1 peugot 206 and still its around 7000. Thats for 3rd party fire and theft.""

What insurance companies provide non-owner auto insurance in Ohio?

looking to insure myself for car insurance in columbus ohio but I dont own a car.

What is the cheapest best kind of individual health insurance?

What is the best kind of individual health insurance...that is the cheapest?

Cheap car insurance in alberta?

Cheap car insurance in alberta?

Advise please for a cheapest and reliable car insurance here in orange county CA?

For a 2012 honda civic LX thank you

Would my insurance go up with a red truck?

so i never new this until not to long ago but ppl say if u have a red car ur insurance will go up so if i have a red full size pick up or dump truck will my insurance go up because its red i mean i dont picture anyone racing with a 1 ton dump truck or anything

Pregnancy and disability insurance?

Hi, i am currently 7 months pregnant and found out that our short term disability insurance will only give us $800 a month for disability. I asked if I can opt out of our employers short term disability and apply for state disability and I was told no because I have been here for longer than 18 months. Is this allowed and also is there anything else i can do. I live in California.""

How much is teen insurance?

Typically how much is insurance for teens in general? For just an ordinary, average car? thanks""

Can a Home Mortgage Company insist you paint your house?

My mom receieved a letter from a mortgage company stating she needs to make 3 repairs to here house. (paint the outside, fix trim around door, repair soffet) They also said they would drop her in 30 days if not corrected. HELP.... Is this legal? I may also say my mom put a claim in last year with them and they (insurance co) had to repair a canapy for 2k.""

How will my first speeding ticket in Florida effect my insurance?

Ok I'm 19 and just got my first speeding ticket on the way to work today doing 9 miles over. So my question is how many points are added to your license for doing this much over and is there any way to avoid getting these points? If not, how will this affect my insurance? Is it going to skyrocket, even though this is my first speeding ticket ever?""

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

Would it be a good idea for insurers to give a % of income they give out in claims?

We all look for the cheapest premium, but we have no idea how they would perform if you had to claim. I heard somewhere that car insurers give out much more that household insurance (or vice versa) and can't understand why.""

Do i have to inform my car insurance company if i move?

I'm under my dad's insurance. He is listed as the primary driver. My mom and I are under the same policy. It expired on 10/15 and we renewed the policy the same day for another 6 months. Well, I am moving tomorrow to another county about 30 miles away and we didn't think about the insurance. I am also about to turn in to the DMV a notice of change of address. Do I need to notify the insurance company? Since I am living on my own, will it force me to be on my own policy? Another sideball question: I am in ownership of my mom's car and my dad is in ownership of my car (my car is newer so Dad wanted cheaper insurance). However policy does match me driving the newer car. How could we do this with me moving out with the new car (not the car that I own under DMV).""

How much does a 16 year old pay for insurance in florida?

am going to get a mustang GT and was wondering how much will the insurance come up to be, and also how less cheaper will it be if i get an altima sedan.""

Life insurance pay question.?

If you died while committing a crime (not suicide) would the insurance company pay out?

Best motorcycle insurance?

I'm gonna start riding a motorcycle soon. I do not have a drivers license, it will be a new 09 motorcycle, I'm 19 (will be 20 by then), will say its for commuting, i live in LA California if any of that matters! i wanna know what would be a good motorcycle insurance as in cheaply priced! or just tell me what you pay for yours?""

When you do not have car insurance in California then ONLY IF YOU GET CAUGHT?

by someone it's a problem right, or is it a problem as soon as your car insurance stops for example, only if someone who does not have car insurance gets into an accident then everyone is wondering about it right, or if you had car insurance and could not afford the bills anymore do they tell DMV and then you're in trouble immediately""

I need help on choosing Health insurance..... Anyone?

Okay, I've been looking online for hours now and i can't find any health insurance that covers Medical, Vision, and Dental.. I recently chipped my tooth and i need it fixed pronto... its very Painful..""

Is it legal to have two health insurances?

I am currently under my parents' insurance, however nobody accepts it where I am staying for the summer. At the end of august, I am going to be going back to college and they have a student heallth insurance that is accepted anywhere in the world. I want to get this insurance and stay on my parents' insurance because my parents' insurance has more benefits and I have a condition with my teeth that is very expensive to treat and my parents' insurance covers it completely. I doubt my schools insurance would do that. I just want to be able to be treated while I am in school where the area doesn't accept my current insurance. Is it legal for me to have my student insurance as well as my parents' insurance?""

Does anyone know of a car insurance that can give you a policy without a down payment?

I live in miami fl my car insurance expired on 2/26/12 i don't have money for the renewal does anyone know of any car insurance company that can except me with out a down payment please i need help and at this ponit i need to take what i can for my car before it to late???

""I wreck in my parent car, will my parents insurance cover the damage? Please Help?

Ok. Today my parent let me borrow their car so I can drive to school. On my way to school I had a car accident in the freeway. I accidently hit another car. The CHP arrive and got the report . The car I hit suffer minor damages to the rear bumper only got minor straches to it paint. The only problem is that I am not in my parent policy. Will my parents auto insurance cover the damage. Oh My parents car suffer some damage to to front of the car and it's fenders ? Please Help

What would my monthly Homeowners Insurance premium be?

For a home in Lapeer, MI 48446. The House is 1600 Square feet, built in the 80's. I was told on Yahoo!'s calculator I would need around 180,000 worth of coverage, but I dont know how to compute that into a monthly payment. Thanks""

Whats a good price for a 17 year old car insurance ? Uk?

Whats a good price for a 17 year old car insurance ? Uk?

My mother wants to add me to her car insurance. How much will it cost?

im 24 and i have never driven before. lets just say i had a silver spoon in my mouth for 23 years. but now i need to start driving and my mom would like me to drive her 2000 bonnaville while she gets a small pickup truck. but to be fair i would need to pay her once she gets her insurance bill yearly, and i would have to pay once she has added me...see where im going with this?""

""Someone hit & run my car when it was parked, will my insurance go up?""

I have coverage with AAA, a friend from State Farm said I wasn't at fault so I should call AAA, but will my insurance rate rise if I report it?""

I hit another car and I have no insurance?

My boyfriend just gave me his old car as a gift, I planned on getting insurance to it the moment I put it under my name, but I was driving today and I rear ended another car. I was placed in police car as they did some investigation. The other police officer found out that the other car was a rental and that they had Avis insurance. I kept asking the police officer when do I find out about making payments to the other car. He gave me a ticket and said there will be no payments for the other car. Me and and the other car never exchanged any information. This is my first accident, I am a little confused. Am I suppose to get sued. And what is the likelihood that that the other car's insurance would charge me 10k or more for the accident? I want an idea so I can start saving money and trying to make payments now. Is there a way I can start making payments without having to go to court to get sued.""

Should kids protest against very high insurance costs by driving illegally?

Should kids protest against very high insurance costs by driving illegally?

Auto insurance history question!?

I'm trying to get auto insurance for the second 6-month period of having my car. I don't get the question in applications for auto insurance (or getting a quote): Have you had auto insurance for the past 3 years without break or lapse in coverage? Well I have my first car for almost 6 months (fully insured), so I check no . but then it gives me two options: how long were you without coverage: a) more than one month / never had insurance b) less than one month I guess this question is trying to find out if I had a break in coverage. There isn't any break in my car insurance but I only have 6 month history! Is it OK if I say yes to the first question (Have you had auto insurance for the past 3 years without break or lapse in coverage) ? Thanks in advance""

How much does Car Insurance for a teenager cost?

How much is car insurance for a 15 ( starting drivers ed) year old girl if you are only a part time driver, like if you dont own a car you just use your parent' car in Illinois? Like how much is added on to your parents insurance bill? and how much does it cost if you have your own car?""

Do I have to have car insurance in wis?

I have a car that is old, ( a VW Fox to be exact) and i was wondering if i need to have car insurance for it? i use the car for nothing more than to drive to work and back, because of the amazing gas milage, but i was woundering if im going to get into trouble if im ever pulled over and dont have insurance. I live in WIS so keep that in mind. Any help would be welcome. thx ahead of time.""

Car accident will his insurance pay for the rental?

I got hit by a Semi the police came we exchanged insurance info I got estimates faxed them to his insur and they paid me but now the Body shop guy say's its gonna be a week to fix ...show more

""Who has taken the Florida 2-15 Life, Health, Ann, Insurance exam... How is this exam?

I would like to know is this a very difficult exam? Do this exam requires mathematics? Is this exam 100% Multiple choice? I know that the Real Estate exam for me was a little difficult so I am hoping that this would be a little easier.... Please tell what ever you know about this test... Thanks I appreciate it...

Is the premium the only determinant of how much your health insurance costs?

Does the deductible matter? Does a possible subsidy change things? And most importantly, are you taking into account what you would have to pay out of pocket for things your junk plan does not cover? In the long run, even if your premium goes up but you get better coverage, you will save money.""

Define insurance?

what is comprehensive insurance

Cheap car insurance?

where can i get cheap car insurance 4 a young driver on a fiat punto?? pleasssss(in the uk)

Cheapest car to insure for first driver 17?

i want to be drivign this year but the insurance is crazy! i looked at a 1l corsa 1litre is one of smallest engines you can get and its 5k a year so what cars are cheap to insure at 17 and a roughly figure? i dont want any ridiculous cars such as fiat panda smart car ect if im paying so much i want it to be semi nice the ford ka is also abit to feminim for my liking i like minis golf polos 106 corsas astras those type of cars cheers :] would really appreciate the help cheers joe

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

Best way to buy health insurance?

I had health insurance, up until Sept., when I could no longer pay the expensive ever-increasing policy. I now have a job, but it does not include benefits. Can I buy health insurance online? I mainly want a low-cost policy that would cover accidents. Thanks for any advice!!""

How to get car insurance on a Toyota Yaris 1 litre?

It's quite an old car, I estimate about 20 years. Still works well though. How can I get insurance through Direct line? How much would it cost? greenxfox x x x""

Cheap motorcycle insurance company for young riders?

Anyone recommend any companies? I have blasted a fair few, including BikeDevil and Lexham (Lexham is in the lead though it does have a 600 excess). If you know any good companies of which are cheap please let me know, as being 17 makes insurance hard to find. Thanks""

What is the best insurance?

Okay. Need the cheapest insurance for my boyfriend. He is 20, only three speeding tickets within a three years time, and wants a newer car.""

First traffic violation. How much will it affect my insurance?

So today I got my first traffic violation after 9 years of driving. I am 25 and have been driving since I was 16. I stopped to far in a stop sign and passed the line. How much will the ticket cost? I live in CA. How badly will this affect my auto insurance? Right now I pay $150 every 6 months for liablity coverage.

How to get Temporary Car Insurance for one week in Florida?

Heres the deal. In May a couple of my friends and I are going to fly into Florida to visit some relatives. They have an extra car that nobody uses on a day to day basis, so instead of renting a car for the week... we would rather drive this car around. The problem is insurance... I don't know anything about this if its possible or not. Is there anyway to get one of us insured to drive the car for a week, we are all insured drivers here in Michigan if that matters. Also would it make any difference that the car we are using is my Aunt's, so we are closely related. Any information, experience with this type of situation, contact numbers etc. would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!""

Staying in California for 2 months. Is it worth it to get a motorcycle?

I'm from Indiana, am over 21, and have a valid Indiana drivers license. I'm going to be staying in California for 6-8 weeks and would like some sort of transportation. I'm considering buying a motorcycle or scooter but am not sure if it will be worth it considering the hassle of registration, insurance, etc. Then I would sell it again before I go back to Indiana. My brother has offered to give me motorcycle lessons before I leave and I could get my Motorcycle learner's permit from the local BMV. Does anyone have experience with titles, registrations, insurance etc and could tell me if it would be worth the hassle?""

California Lawyer Malpractice Insurance Requirements?

Does a lawyer in California have to get Malpractice Insurance in order to take clients? For example if a newly admitted lawyer wanted to do a simple will for a family friend, would they have to obtain insurance first or can they take the case, at their own peril, and collect a fee for it?""

Why can't small businesses in each state group together to get better and more affordable health insurance?

Who regulates this? The insurance companies? The large companies? It doesn't make sense that this cannot be done.

How much will car insurance cost me if im 16 and getting a Scion Tc?

- 16 Year old ; Male - Just got my license - From Massachusetts - Took Drivers Ed I'm looking at a Scion Tc. The money I have saved up is there for the car. I am just worried on ...show more

Car insurance? Geico? encompass?

I just recently signed up for encompass insurance company. Does anyone know anything about them? good / bad? How is Geico? Do you recommend any insurance good car insurance companies? i'm from NJ.

Car insurances?

18yrs old just been quoted 1,300 for a 1100cc car K reg.Offered 300.00 plus 1.000.00 returnable deposit if he dont have any accidents, broker did not want to know but said on top of all that he has got to pay the first 350.00 if involved in a accident. How dear is that?ps past tests.""

Is Arizona's new law racial profiling against persons without driver's licenses and automobile insurance?

Is Arizona's new law racial profiling against persons without driver's licenses and automobile insurance?

How much will my insurance go up?

I accidentally backed up into the corner of someones parked car going about 3-4 mph and there were some paint scuffs and a 4-5 inch crack.

""Why do we call life insurance, life insurance?

when it pays you for dying. Annuities are really life insurance. They pay you in case you live.

Where can i find cheap health insurance?

My girlfriend just recently went off of her parents health insurance and is having trouble finding a full time job. She can get it through her part time job but she doesn't think she can afford it.

Is it possible to get really cheap or special low insurance coverage for?

HAVING MY CAR PARKED IN A LOT FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS (in Ft. Lauderdale FL), but Still Keep my Plates, so I can park legally? (I'll be out of the country until July)""

Will my car insurance go up if I was side swapped while driving a friends car?

I was 100% not at fault. We called cops, etc... But my question is will my personal car insurance go up? I was driving my friends car..""

What does it cost for $1000000 contractors liability insurance?

what does it cost for $1000000 contractors liability insurance in texas.

Suggestions on where to purchase good health insurance?

My husband and I are looking to purchase health insurance. We are young (under 25), healthy (non-smokers) and looking for coverage mainly for doctor's office visits and prescriptions. Can anyone recommend a good website or insurance company that we can look at to choose a plan? We live in Michigan if that makes a difference too.""

Estimate on how much my car insurance will be?

I'm financing a new (or relatively new) car pretty soon, it's probably going to be a Nissan Altima which is a very safe car and is probably going to be either brand new or no more than 1 - 3 years old. I'm just worried about how much I'm going to be paying for full coverage insurance because I haven't had a car in a couple years thus I haven't had car insurance in a while and when I did, it was only no-fault insurance. Also, I'm young (22) so that will make my insurance high. However, I have a spotless driving record so that should help. I also live in a safe county if that matters. Anyone have a ball-park figure on how much I can expect to be paying, monthly? Thanks.""

How to get cheap car insurance ?

I have just passed my driving test 2 weeks ago and im 18 ive been searching forever to get a cheap quote but its not working anyone know what to do and who to go with

Corporate health insurance?

What will be the benefit to the company for availing a group health insurance for its employees. please explain thoroughly. Thanks!

How much will my car insurance probably be?

I'm 17 and one speeding ticket that resulted in four points on my record. I drive a white 545i bmw 2005, I rlly need to know bc I mite need to sale my car. Thanks""

Hi anyone know a cheap insurance company for a smart pulse (600/700cc) as the ones ive tried are a bit pricey?

i realise that its all down to your postcode-age-driving record, but im 50 clean licence, however live in a poor postcode, however ive been qouted 256 pounds (nearly the same as a motorcaravan i also have) i was going to get a fiat 126 (also 600cc) this was only 80 pounds fully comp.....strange the insurance game do you think? thanks all simon.""

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

""Im looking for good affordale health insurance, please help?""

hello, I need to see a doctor as soon as possible but i don't have insurance. anyone know any good affordable health insurance. thank you in advance""

What is the difference between the insurance for the cars and motorcycles ?

Which one is cheap in terms of insurance ?

What is an average insurance cost for two cars in dallas?

What is an average insurance cost for two cars in dallas?

What car is very cheap to insure? Im 17 and really want a car!?

I was thinking about the peugeot 106 before ad the saxo but apparentley its too expensive, i just want to know a car that i can get quite cheap insurance for, bearing in mind im 17!""

How long does it usually take to get car insurance?

Hi. I'm an 18 year old teen. Recently obtained my drivers license. But I can't drive yet because I don't have car insurance. I was wondering how long it usually takes to get car insurance as a teen. From researching it tells me it may take as short as 3 days and as long as 7 days. (Business days only of course). I've been waiting for around. 11 business days. Is that normal? I have no idea what the car insurance company my parents are using because they know i'm going to call them and complain. My friends who are...Allstate,Geico,Triple A, ETC. Have told me they got their car insurance in about 3 business days.""

Starting a insurance comany(drivers require minimum 4 year no claim discount) start up cost?

Starting a insurance comany(drivers require minimum 4 year no claim discount) start up cost?

Would disability insurance premiums be deductible if you are self employed?

Would disability insurance premiums be deductible if you are self employed?

Insurance for a 17 year old on a ninja 250?

hey im looking at getting a ninja 250r for a first bike. i choose a 250 because it is cheap, cheap to keep up, i could work on almost every job myself, it wont do a wheelie at 90 and kill me, gets 65 mpg highway, and is still as quick as a z28 0-60. what would the insurance be on a little 250 for an almost 18 year old with a perfect driving record, and almost all major discounts ( good student...etc)? i know you cant say for sure but would it be a doable amount since it is just a 250, or is it going way too much cuz im a teen?""

Insurance while overseas?

I am wanting to travel overseas to join my wife but wondered if something happened to my family (in the future) and I need money fast to travel back is there some kind of insurance I could take out before I leave?

What Is The Best Insurance Agency?

Like any insurance agency. Such as Progressive, State Farm, Geico, or anything that you think saves the most of your cash.""

Home hazard insurance vs. home owners insurance?

What is the difference?

Can my car insurance still charge me for a car I do not have anymore?

I'm confused. I no longer have this car, it got vandalised and written off. It says in my contract I can cancel I did but they have taken out another payment I haven't had the car since October 22nd Not only that in they said to me I they will take out the remaining payments from the cheque they pay me from my car, it doesn't say this in the contract so why do I have to do it? Why should I pay for a car I no longer have? And why do I have to pay my voluntary and compulsory excess if someone damaged my car and it has been reported to police and on going investigation? I will speak to them tomorrow but I am confused now and looking for answers. Thank you""

Do I need to have insurance or proof of insurance when renting a car?

I'm planning on making a trip to Chicago. I have been wanting to go on a road trip for a long time. And I am afraid of taking a bus or going on a plane. A plane ticket costs a little bit too much for me. I'm 21. I currently do not own a vehicle of my own. So I am considering renting a car. I'm just wondering if I have to have car insurance in order to rent a car. I've never done this, so I have no idea what kind of things are required in order for me to rent. I've got my driver's license and a clean driving record. I don't have a line of credit. I don't have any credit cards so I hope there's no credit checks involved. Also, what's a rental car service that you would recommend? One that is cheap, honest, reliable, etc. My budget is $300. I'm going to meet a friend in Bartlett who is going to help provide me with lodgings so my only expenses to consider besides the car, are fuel and food costs. Thanks.""

How much is it to get your insurance license?

How much is it for the classes/exams/etc in california? I just got hired for state farm, and i need an insurance license but how much is it exactly?""

Can your car insurance company penalize you if...?

Can your car insurance company penalize you if you report an incident but decide not to file a claim?

What insurance do you have ?

we are looking for a good family insurance that could have dental coverage and eye care coverage as well as health any suggestions ? (ps family of four)

Car Insurance in Northern NJ?

Hello, How much do a couple pay on an average for car insurance premiums in Northern NJ? I am insured with liberty mutual and my monthly commitment is close to $140, I have a clean driving history and no claims in the past. Culd you suggest how I cut down on my premiums? Also the best car insurance company in the tri state area.""

My girlfriends has insurance for her vehicle but if she drive my car will he be insured?

I just got a new car and i chose esurance for my provider and she has statefarm for her car. According to esurance every driver i add to my insurance with cost me $40 more a month. so my question is if she drive my car will she still be insured by her insurance or do i have to add her to mine?

If I live with my mother and my father is buying me a car will his insurance cover me?

My parents are divorced and my mother has custody of me. My mom's boyfriend bought my older brother's car. So my dad said he'll buy mine. Will his insurance cover me since I live with my mother? Or will I have to pay the insurance to my dad and pay insurance to my mom since I live with her? So basically I would be paying them both for insurance according to my mother. The car will be in my dad's name.

Cheapest car insurance? Does anyone know?

Paying no mind to the jibber jabber they say on TV what car insurance do you know is cheap?

""You must have car insurance, question about that?""

Here in Utah, it is law that you must have car insurance. I'm wondering though, what if I borrow my father's car, and it is insured, but I am not an insured driver, how does this work? Is it fine as long as the car is insured? I might not be an insured driver but does that still fulfill the law? If not, why do people borrow cars all the time?""

If i put a big engine in my small car will my insurance still be low?

i have a ford fiesta zetec 1.25, if i put a rs cosworth engine in it will it how much will it affect the insurance? i've been on gocompare.com and it give an option standard engine replacement . i have ticked it and the price has gone up from 682 to 1049. does this mean i can put any engine in my car and the insurance will be 1049?""

Insurance for a 2nd hand two wheeler.?

Recently purchased a second hand 2wheeler. Changed RC to my name already. Regarding insurance, which one is good?? 1) renewing existing with my name or 2) purchase a new insurance. which one is best?? do we have any difference for the above options?? Approximately how much it costs for both options??? Please guide me.""

How do insurance companies verify the adress you use for your car insurance is your actual adress?

I want to get my car insurance in a different state see how do car insurance companies know that the address and provide is where I live. And if I get caught what is the penalty

Cheapest and reliable car insurace company?

how has the lowest quote out under normal circumstances? i know they categorize it based on age,sex, etc. just tell me who has the cheapest insurance.is it really GEICO?""

Is it cheaper to buy your own insurance or go on your parents insurance?

I was looking at prices online for one person and it's between 2K and - 3k for 6 Months just for me and my friends are own there parents insurance and they only pay 100 - 200 a month is that true about that? Where close to the same age.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-much-audi-a4-insure-cleofa-escobedo"

[furiousconnoisseurcomputer-blog]

Car insurance questions?

"Car insurance questions?

I'm just coming up to the end of my first year of driving. My insurance is due on the 12th of December. I was quoted 1700 by my current insurer, which obviously, I'm not paying. I've now managed to get an insurance quote from Admiral for 680. My questions are; 1. No Claims Bonus - I'm on track to have 1 years no claims but obviously at the moment I wont have? I want to pay for my insurance ASAP so can I just put 1 years no claims on the form and put the start date as the 12th? 2. Do I need to tell my current insurer I wont be renewing with them? Is there some sort of automatic renewal system in place with car insurance companies? My dad threw the renewal letter out so I have no way to check myself short of ringing the company but I wont be able to do that until Monday and I kinda wanted to buy my insurance now.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://averageinsurancecosts.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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My parents are divorced, and eac have different car insurance plans. if i go under one of their car insurance plans to use their car, can i still use the other parents car all the time of do i have to get separate insurance?""

Car Insurance?

I have a quick question, my husband wants to buy a car [in which we have the money] however when we go to the insurance office do we need to pay a downpayment in order to get the car insured?""

First time car insurance?

I passed my driving test on the 6th of December 2011 and got a car yesterday. It is a 1.0 litre peugeot 107 56 plate and I'm 22. Wondering where the cheapest place to go for car insurance would be or the cheapest way to do it? I've heard some people go on their Mum's, but you shouldn't do that as it's illegal to say they are the main driver when you are (not sure how this would be proved). I've looked on price comparison sites but they are all still so expensive and I still feel I can get a better quote. The best one has been from an independent insurer called Ingenie at 1300, so I know I can get cheaper on sites that aren't on price comparison ones, if that makes sense! The thing is there's so many was just wondering if anyone knew the cheapest?? Getting bored of typing my details in over and over :) Thankyou x""

Republican want to ensure that 45 MILLION Americans have NO Health Insurance part of their 'Family Values'?

These are mothers, fathers, children, babies - who have no access to affordable health care - but who still get sick - and who subsequently (quite often) lose their homes to ...show more""

""Liability only car insurance, does it matter what car you get?

I'm pretty sure you pay more if you get a mustang than a honda 4 door civic. Just liability only - not full comp and collission. No notes that if you have a loan in the car you have to carry full coverage. I know that already. Car would be cash and use same year for both cars.

I need help finding medical insurance?

I found out I am pregnant and I was denied medicaid due to income. I figured since I need it asap I would pick something with a higher monthly figure and a lower deductible I don't understand a lot of it though and not sure where to look .My old work health insurance was very expensive so I had cancelled it only to realize months later I should have kept it :/ any advice? Thanks

Insurance premiums?

How much is a family coverage for insurance premiums? Just an average, not sure what insurance we will have yet but it should be a ppo. Trying to figure it out because my husband got offered a higher paying job, but the job he has now they pay his insurance so we have no clue what to expect to pay""

Car Insurance In St Louis?

I just purchased a 2002 Mazda Protege today and I bought the car right out but now I'm looking into auto insurance but I have no idea where to go. I am looking to just get liability but doing online quotes is a lil' tiring because I really don't know what I'm looking at. Could someone tell me what is the best rate for auto insurance in St. Louis to go. I also have never had auto insurance before and have never had any priors driving anyone else's car.

Who pays? Auto or Health Insurance?

I was rear-ended and suffer with neck/back pain. Had hospital, ambulance and doctor's bills that my HEALTH insurance paid minus my co-pay with no questions (<$1,500. minor accident). Her AUTO insurance company has paid me a settlement that includes payment for my medical bills. I'm in Texas. (1) Will HEALTH ins. want to be re-paid? Meaning, is HEALTH primary or AUTO primary? (2) Can/Should I also file this on my PIP auto policy? Is TEXAS a state that allows double-dipping?""

Wat is da average cost of car insurance for a brand new car driven primarily by a teen?

INSURANCE, TEENAGER, COST""

Which is better car insurance?

$500 per year with an excess of $1150 or $560 per year with an excess of $900 These are the 2 best insurance quotes i can find. Both are big reliable companies.

How much is it for car insurance on a Nissan Altima?

I am 19 years old and I want to get a used Nissan Altima 2003 but I need t know how much is it going to be to insure? thank you

Car insurance for a new driver?

I will be driveing soon how much on average is car insurance for a new driver?

Where can I find cheap young male car insurance on any car?

I'm a 17 year old driver who has just passed my test and when i go to quote myself on any car its either unquotable or something like 20,000 a year or something stupid even with immobilizers trackers parked in a garage etc and when i put my mum as the main driver (she has 5 year NCD) it only dropped like 200 so i don't understand how people are getting it below 10000 let alone 2000. I haven't bought a car yet but could somebody tell me what is the up most cheapest car to insure and all the combinations that make it cheaper. Once more annoying is that I live in a pretty nicer area so you wouldn't think it would cost as much compared to other people but they seem to get theirs cheaper.""

What year in California did it become necessary for all drivers to carry auto insurance?

What year in California did it become necessary for all drivers to carry auto insurance?

Who is the best life insurance company that pays out?

I am looking into getting life insurance probably not term life insurance just regular not sure yet however a lot of my friends have had problems with life insurance companies not paying out even though they where still within the life insurance contract guidelines so I am scared..I have heard a lot of positive things about farmers and that they always pay out as long as it is in within the guidelines they provided when you signed up for the insurance . does anyone know of a company that for sure will pay out ? also can I take a life insurance policy out for my mother id like to do so because she does not have one so I am worried something may happen and I will be stuck with bills ? I know I will have ta pay more because of her age but that is okay with me I feel like it is well worth it as long as the company pays out any advice ?? Thanks

Can you help me figure out how much home insurance I need?

I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice about house insurance. We've been paying insurance as if our house is worth 224,000 still however it is worth about 175,000 ...show more""

Which insurance company covers breast reduction surgery?

I currently have United Health Care and breast reduction surgery is an EXCLUSION. Has anyone had BRS and their insurance company paid for it? Which insurance company do you use?

""How greatly does color impact the cost of insurance (Geico, if that helps.)?""

I'm car shopping (Even though I still don't have enough money. I'm still in the research stage). I was originally thinking dark blue (Thankfully, I want to stick to that on most of the sportier ones.), but I've found certain models that I really like in red. I was told that it's really hard to afford insurance on red cars. (Even if they aren't exactly party vehicles... The Buick Lacrosse is in my top 5.) How true is this?""

Car insurance questions?

I'm just coming up to the end of my first year of driving. My insurance is due on the 12th of December. I was quoted 1700 by my current insurer, which obviously, I'm not paying. I've now managed to get an insurance quote from Admiral for 680. My questions are; 1. No Claims Bonus - I'm on track to have 1 years no claims but obviously at the moment I wont have? I want to pay for my insurance ASAP so can I just put 1 years no claims on the form and put the start date as the 12th? 2. Do I need to tell my current insurer I wont be renewing with them? Is there some sort of automatic renewal system in place with car insurance companies? My dad threw the renewal letter out so I have no way to check myself short of ringing the company but I wont be able to do that until Monday and I kinda wanted to buy my insurance now.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/inoperable-vehicles-required-have-insurance-coverage-az-simon-kinch"

[alyssheart]

confessions and story time

i know i haven't posted any of my art in a while. im sorry about that, but i feel inspired after watching a few youtube videos about depression and suicide awareness and i want to tell my story. and its LONG.

A lot of what im about to say no one but my closest friend of 15 years knows. My family, my other friends. no one knows. but here i am about to tell my story, poor grammar and all. so here's your TMI and trigger warning. Let's dive deep

Let me give you some back story. I am 29 years old. I suffer from Depression, Anxiety and Suicidal thoughts. I have 2 amazing little boys, a beautiful daughter who passed away (more on that later). I have a very supportive and understanding fiance. And my family, although a bit dysfunctional at times, is an amazing support group for me and loves me unconditionally.

That being said, there are things that i never told anyone because im one of those people that dont like to burden others when there's so many other, more serious issues that are going on around me to others that i care about.

When i was a little kid, i was adventurous, curious, a little shy. I was 100% a daddy's girl. In my eyes daddy could do no wrong. My mom and i were close too, but in a different way. Dont get me wrong, i LOVE my mom, i always have but it took my mom and dads divorce and a lot of self reflection and hearing stories to know my "do no wrong" dad was anything but.

That, however, is not my story to tell, but its where my story starts.

When my dad left us, we had just moved to Ohio from Alabama. I was young, 6th grade. Of course i stayed with my mom, and my dad moved back to Alabama. I took this hard, i stopped taking care of myself. I didnt shower, i didn't brush my teeth, i didnt want to. my mom would have to force me to not be the smelly kid. my grades in school plummeted, i just didnt care.

a few years passed and then BOYS. Now, since i was young, even in Alabama had "boyfriends". But when i say BOYS i mean preteen-teenager hardcore "im in love and will never love anyone else!" kind of BOYS.

That's when i started taking care of myself again. I would hang out every Saturday night at the local skating rink. thats where i met him. my beginning to my end. my first "love". For protection, we'll call him Steven.

Steven was 2 years older than me, so cute, a sweet talking, gangster wanna-be. the bad boy your mother warns you about. He and i started a relationship that lasted on and off for 4 years.

He cheated on me a lot. Not sleeping around, because he was only 13 (at the begining, i was 11) at the time, but writing notes to other girls, kissing etc. Everytime it would break my little heart, but every time he would sweet talk his way back to me and I'd fall for it EVERY TIME.

lets fast forward a bit, i was now 13, he was 15. My mom is now seeing someone else, who would eventually become my stepdad/little sisters dad. We went to this little town for a semi monthly street fair. While my mom and her new boyfriend stayed at the booth he was working Steve and i started walking around. We walked down this ally way to take a short cut to a store we wanted to visit that sold albums, records etc.

He stopped me in the ally way, and to not become to graphic, things happened. Things I was not ready for, but convinced myself was okay at the time, because i "loved him" and we'd be "together forever ". i cried the entire time, he assumed it was from the pain. It was really because i knew, at this moment i was not ready, and no matter how i tried to convince myself, i KNEW it was wrong. i never said no. i never tried to stop it, that time.

Fast forward again a few months later. My mom drops me off at his house so we could ride to the skating rink together. his parents were home, in the living room and we went to his bed room and i insisted on leaving the door open. he and i had not been alone since that day and i wanted to keep it that way. we started to talk and he asked why we never fooled around after that. I told him that i just didnt want to. i was scared of my mom finding out, or getting pregnant...

He.. got.. PISSED. i mean, he was ANGRY. he held his hand over my mouth so i couldnt scream, grabbed my arm and held me to the wall in his room. He then said "You're tall, fat and stupid. who else is going to love you like i do? So why won't you give me what I need?"

Those words.. stabbed me in my heart like a million daggers. Thing about it was, i wasnt fat.. i was healthy. Yes, i am tall, always have been my dad is 6"7' what do you expect? I also was NOT stupid. i may not have gotten good grades in school but thats because i was not doing homework or turning my work in. not because i didnt understand it but because I didnt care about school.

He then closed, his door, locked it, covered my mouth with his hand, and had his way with me, again....

I sat on his bed and cried until his dad drove us to the skating rink and i found my best friend at the time and told her almost everything that happened in his room that day. She protected me from him the rest of the night. wouldn't let him near me and she and i danced all the anger and pain away.

Of course, im a sucker for punishment and he used all the right words and came back into my life weeks later.

around this time, I started lying to my mom, i stole from my cousin, worst of all i stoped eating. there was a nagging thought always in the back of my mind that i was fat and needed to lose weight. this was actually pretty easy for me. my mom worked A LOT to support me, anywhere from 8-12 hours a day so i would be left at home alone and simply not eat until she was around. I didnt even eat luch at school. id sit with my friends while they ate lunch and i would pretend to have eaten a lot of snacks during the day, or a large breakfast.

Now, remember when i said that i started lying to my mom a lot. It got to a point where she wouldnt believe anything i said. Which, i cant say i blame her, i was being a bitch. But this caused some abuse from my now ex step dad to go unnoticed. I dont blame her for that, looking back now i know she believes me when i would tell her about the time he punched me in the stomach and i think at times she feels bad she didnt believe me when it happened. so i hold no grudges against her. I only bring this up to explain how truly fucked up i was around this time.

So between having to pretend to like my step dad, to Steve getting inside my head, basically starving myself and having my mom not believe a word i said to her about anything. i started to feel so alone....

if you're wondering, the situation with Steve never went any further than those 2 times mentioned. other than that he was the "love of my life".

Eventually the situation had gotten so bad at home that my mom made me start seeing a therapist. He was the 1st person that knew everything, aside from the ally way no one knew about that until I met my best friend Jeff years later.

Fast foward again. My mom gets pregnant with my sister, so we move to a house with my step dad to a new city.

This is where things changed for me, in a positive way. i met Jeff, he became my best friend, my therapist, my brother, my world. He helped me work through a lot of things that i didnt know how to handel. he was there for me when my step dad started abusing my mom. He was there whenever i needed him. he was my saving grace. my angel. He made me stop talking to Steve and preoccupied my time so Steve couldnt weasel his way back into my life. 30 mins isn't much of a drive for a teenager thinking hes about to have sex. Jeff knew this and protected me from it.

Fast forward again, i am now out of high school, im living with this guy who i started dating my senior year. we had been together for 3 years at this point and it was fading fast. we didnt love each other anymore and did everything we could to not be around each other. Thats when i met Chris. My ride or die. the 2nd closest friend i had beside Jeff. I was seriously over weight at this point, and hated myself. i was living with a guy i didnt love but had to pretend i did around everyone else. She was there for me. offered me a roof to live under if i decided to break up with this guy. She would work out with me to help me loose weight, not because she thought i was fat, but because she knew i wanted it. and she gave me the motivation to want to change. then it eventually happened. my boyfriend and i broke up about a week before Easter in 2011.

This is around the time i met my now fiance. my ex and i decided to make it official and move out of the apt my ex and i were living in about 2 months after we broke up, because i wanted things to be official with my now fiance. I moved in with my mom, he moved in with his grandma and that was the end of that.

In November of 2011 after being told i could not have children since i was 19 i got pregnant, with the most beautiful little girl Kairi. Man was she loved. By everyone. not even in the world yet and she was so.. so loved. August 7th 2012 she was stillborn. her cord wrapped around her neck, with a trueknot. she had been dead for a few days before my body decided it was dangerous and needed to come out.

Sept. 1st we burried half her ashes and kept the other half, she is here with me now. My fiance and i decided that we were ready and we needed to try again.

on August 5th 2013 Quin was born. a beautful healthy baby boy, that looked so much like his sister it hurt at first. but that was my baby, the one thing in my life that i was not ashamed of, the one thing in my life that was missing.

Then, to everyones surpize July 25th 2014 Came Silas. my 3rd baby. My beautiful baby boy whom has made ny life and my home so complete.

Happy ending right? Not really. I love my children, i love my fiance, but im scared. im so broken from so many things. im still tall, fat and ugly in my mind. I still try to fix everyone elses problems before my own. I still keep to myself. social situations make me nervous and scared. everything i do feels wrong. im not happy with myself, im not happy with my job, my living situation. Im just not happy.

And yes, at times i have suicidal thoughts. I would never do anything to harm myself, but theres always that thought of "what if". if not for those 2 little boys and their hugs and kisses and just the fact that they need me. i would welcome death with open arms. but for now. telling my story, finally getting everything off my chest is what i need.

im starting Therapy again on March 1st, so hopefully some real professional help will make a differnce.

I felt like i needed to tell this story, not only for myself but for people who know me. for people who get annoyed that i apologize all the time. people who think i hate them because i wont hang out with them. Im trying. i am. im trying to better myself, for me, for you, for my family.

i love each and every one of you so much. i truly do. i dont hate many people. believe it or not Steve and I made amends a few years ago, and even though i would not call him a friend. i forgive him for everything. if i can forgive him and have peace and closure, i can truly say that i believe in my heart of hearts that i am not this terrible moster that i believe i am. I will give chances after chances. I will forgive people fatser for hurting me than the people i love. maybe thats my problem, i dont know. i know ive made mistakes and if the people ive wronged didnt forgive me, i would truly have no one right now.

I want to help people because i cannot help myself. thats my curse.

sorry for the super long post. and thanks for reading my story.

Love always-

[ifuckinhatemymom-blog]

Letting go of my fp

I was obsessed with him so much it put a strain on my relationship. It started before I was diagnosed. I didnt even know what was happening to me. Think of the biggest dickhead in the world, and imagine yourself infatuated with him. I even wondered if I had genuine feelings for him. I didnt, fucking obviously I didnt It was this fucking disorder warping everything and making my life a living hell Im not even sure why it happened. I usually keep people at a distance from me. I dont value peple in my life but he suddenly came in my life and he was the coolest, funniest, most charming son of a bitch I ever laid eyes on. (Seriously though, he is a fucking asshole.) He has a lot of issues of his own. Like super super depressed and self harming in every way you could think of. The friends group I was in? Everyone hated him. Treated him like shit, talked shit about him behind his back. I didnt understand why people could pretend to be his friend but hate him so much. It is so fucked. Anyway they probably had reason to hate him (theyre not excused from being fake assholes, he is still a fucking human being) because he was rude and mean. I was the only one who would properly call him out on his shit. I was also his biggest cheerleader and defender. I saw the positive side of him, saw how much pain he was in. I took it upon myself to try and "fix him". Lol. Obviously, that wasnt and is not and never will be possible. I became obsessed with helping him, being there for him, I forced my way into his life, I sledge hammered through the walls he had up whether he wanted it or not, and for a moment I felt so close to him and so happy because this was also the first time I had a friend of MY OWN? MINE? MY friend, because everyone-- including my girlfriend-- fucking hated him. I hadnt had an FP since I met my girlfridnd and that was 8 years ago. I had been giving HER my heart mind body and soul (dealing with the torment of that not being reciprocated for years. Honestly I feel like ill never trully feel im 100% her priority or like she loves me as much as I love her but fucking what ever). Anyway she was the one everyone was drawn to and I was always kind of the one off to the side, she would introduce people to me and thats how I would make friends. Do you see where im going with this? The preference everyone had for her over me was clear as day and I struggled with that and her being the center of attention for years. I was shy, awkwardly ugly as fuck, my fat didnt fall well on my young body yet, I was shit. Fucking pathetic and gross. She has BPD too. (Invalidated me alot when we were younger, I couldnt share any of my feelings without her making it obvious that I, and I quote, "will never be as crazy as her". I shit you not.) It all shifted when we joined a larp at this dingey little alternative school. By then, my skin was clear, my hair was the BRIGHTEST fucking pink you could imagine, still fat but I honestly wear it very well now, and my confidence was higher than it was since I was maybe 6 years old. Bitch. That group was eating out of the palm of my fucking hand. It was the first time that I was the group leader/head bitch in charge. She didnt seem to mind it! Said she was happy for me. But again. First time for me. He wanted to be my friend, too. He was intimidated I could feel it off him. It felt great. He respected me more than he did anyone else in the room and he made it apparent. I guess I internally knew him and I would be close friends and that everyone would be mad about it. One of the guys at the program was oddly possesive over me and he particularly hated my FP the most out of everyone. Started treating me different as FP and I got closer. Exluding me, doing things to pin me and FP against each other. Shit got weird. There is a whole ass history when it comes to that boy but ill bitch about that in another post. Anyway as I was trying to say before getting sidetracked, the minute I laid eyes on FP it was almost instant? I could read his vibe(badass bad boy asshole the fucking works), and on top of that he was attractive. Instant. I needed him to be my friend. My close, cool, bad ass friend. Fast forward to me crying to my brothers because my girlfriend was fed up with the little relationship I had going on with him. I began to resent her, thinking that she wasnt allowing me to have friends of my own when deep down I knew what the fuck I was doing was wrong and if I were her I would have cussed me AND FAUGHT HIM a looooong time ago, but I was lying to myself and to her. He has a girlfriend he loves very much, yet he would do things on purpose to make my girlfriend jealous? Like one time when I was running late to the program (no surprise) my girlfriend didnt have a phone at the time, I was texting him and shit telling him when I would be there and shit like that. And you know what he does? He says "its a shame you dont have a phone, because shes texting me instead of you right now." To my girlfriend. Needless to say when she told me this shit I was pissed off but did I say anything to him? No. I was hurt, though. Because just like everyone else in my fucking life, he was using me to get to her even if in a negative way. He kept doing little shit like this. He invited me over his house to play with his pets in front of my girlfriend and purposely excluding her (he had promised her she could visit and meet his cat a few weeks prior) And what did I do? Like a giddy pink school girl, I anxiously agreed to go to his house alone. in front of her. I did it because I never get asked to hang out on my own. I wanted him to be my friend and have someone be only mine for once. My distorted thinking was making me not care about how it made my girlfriend feel, because inside I was in her shoes countless times and it was sort of a silent revenge. He was toxic. I mean toxic. I felt ignored often, belittled, made to feel like I was a stupid little girl and like he was above me and like he needed to baby me, when really I was helping him better himself. A real asshole. Class A shit. My best friend and my girlfrend hated him so much at this point. It must have been so obvious to everyone else. I feel so fucking stupid. Just the other day I was trying to talk to him about some basic shit and he again ignored me and sent a meme instead. He did that thing often where you can say something to him but he will change the subject to what ever it was he wanted to be talking about, completely ignoring anything I had to say. Questions, statements, talking about my dreams or wants, opinions, all fucking ignored like it didnt fuckng matter. The other day I brought it up. He used excuses and didnt even try to listen or say sorry or that he would try and fix it. None of that. And I guess im just going to have to accept that I will never be special to him, im not valuable enough to him for him to even care or listen. Fuck him. Im fucking done with him. My girlfriend and I and the relationship isnt centered around him and I anymore, I think ive let go of him months ago but its becoming more concrete these days. I let him go the first time for her, because at the end of the day I love her over everyone and no one will ever change that... but it wasnt for me. I didnt do it to save myself I did it to save the relationship, I distanced myself. This time im letting go because im finally accepting that I need to do it for my own sake. For me. For my health. My sanity. Good bye FP. I hope this never happens to me again. -nani P.S I will try and dissect this entire situation in bpd terms at some later point. Like what caused my certain behaviors, what was happening because of my illness and trauma, a general analysis of it from what would maybe be more of a psychiatric view. Im no professional but despite all my shit im super analitical and im good at looking at cause, effect, rationalizing etc. When it comes to others and after im finished having a personal experience.

[unproduciblesmackdown]

if you were around for the pre-end-of-mh days you might remember times i like to talk to myself extensively, pointlessly, and dumbassedly about my own thoughts, which go nowhere and solve nothing. literally ignore me, talking about bring me the spider cup, i wanna prank crimmins natcho. my proclivity towards trying to figure out mysteries is matched only by my total inability to do so.

firstly i was like ok, this doesn’t necessarily mean eno knows who this guy is, which i think is true but unlikely. he’s probably met him before and while i think it would be funny if this is all some roundabout unnecessary revenge scheme by someone who considers eno his rival, i’d think it was more likely eno was kind of in a position like wallace where maybe they just worked in the same place. (sidenote: he is so clearly evil how do people share an office with him. please fix this mess jerry)

becoz the thing is it was a bit strange eno said he couldnt take a client via a social workers request with the reasoning that he’d left that life behind him? because he is a therapist now after all. but it would make more sense if he used to maybe be associated with / work for a company like that. i dont even know anything about privatised versions of social work but maybe it could work like that. and maybe he worked with crimcrom because sure, maybe crimmins just murdered his way into head of a company or other unsavory methods, and/or maybe also he has actual experience in the field. because maybe he was working at the same place as eno?

because honestly if i was going to take a very vague guess of where the social work is involved here, its that if youre going to do terrible dangerous medical experiments on people, you take people who have connections without the wealth/time/stability to investigate or else just people who wont be missed at all. people whose debilitating struggles and unstable situations you actually have documentation of. and it does seem like everyone with someone missing was relying on kent and co. to find them, because they couldnt themselves, because their sibling/whomever had been targeted for that exact reason, that their family/friends wouldnt have the means to find them. probably this has been going on for a while and most people are just killed and those who arent are kinda just chucked out somewhere to be found by whoever

anyways, the thing with eno, the idea he was working with/for a company earlier is a bit confusing too because its confusing that kent and yumi were killed but eno wasnt? theres the chance that the attempt simply failed, but i had thought that maybe because eno wasnt the semi-public face of the effort like kent was or an official worker like yumi, maybe nobody who put the hit out knew he was even involved. but since im guessing we’re guessing crimmins was directly/indirectly involved in the Day Of Murder and he knows about eno, thats not true……but then its a bit fuzzier why eno wasnt killed if he wasnt just helping out as a friend but sort of associated with his work, like yumi was. maybe it was part of a longer con, like as might be made clearer soonish. because unfortunately i really doubt crim would show his hand like this if he wasnt secure in everything favoring his schemes currently

it also makes sense that eno had been in a position like yumi’s because im also assuming eno thinks its his own files that someone had got hold of. cuz if yumi and kent had the same papers, surely eno did too. and if he was just keeping them to himself it would be one thing but if he was using them with his work like yumi was, then maybe it happened like he said it did only with his file/company in place of yumi’s. which makes sense coz of why he is so uncomfortable and why he was so surprised about it. probably he didnt suppose it had happened until kip said it did, and he suspects it was on his end that it happened but doesnt want to say it because its unpleasant and because he doesnt want to say it to kip.

i was hoping that gayness would be the wrench in the gears aka kip wasnt supposed to learn of the link between kents files and wallaces, but maybe he actually absolutely was? it would make sense why crimmins was so keen to make sure wallace got kip to work with him. because unless it is remarkably nuanced i doubt part of his plan involves trying to get wallace to directly harm anyone, cuz obvs he wouldnt, he is just motivated to not get fired and hopefully do good work. but it seems like a safe guess that kip would see wallaces papers even though kip really should be getting paid for this, and maybe crimmins was assuming that kip had already seen kents file? because if he had worked with eno and gotten his files, he would basically know what must be in kents files. and it apparently wasnt a secret that the files had made it out of the fire with kip

but its a hell of a con because its like, it seemed like a bonus that kip realized the coincidence, because why would crimmins want kip to suspect that wallace is somehow connected with the scheme that kent was investigating / his family and yumi were killed for? but apparently he could guess that kip would meet with eno about it, because i guess he’s tracking one or both of them. speaking of, im hoping that kip hasnt just gotten jumped. im sure its a concern on the best of days that eno told him to be safe, but it seems ominous

just like it seemed ominous when kip told wallace he trusts eno more than anyone. wallace sure learned a lot in those couple of days, namely: he already knows where kip lives exactly and who with and that they are good friends (not sure how coincidental it is that they live in the exact same building, maybe its just convenient), who kip’s ex-boyfriend is and where he works and who he works with and that he and kip have Strong Feelings for each other, who kip’s therapist is and that he sees him once a week and is a old and close friend whom kip trusts above all others, and i’m sure wallace has been able to pick up that kip has a dead brother and theres a story behind it and its a touchy subject. i mean, that’s mostly completely irrelevant info to put into a report, but maybe not if it was relevant to mention that he was working with kip since after all his boss had told him to. but probably crimmins was guessing that if wallace was making headway at all, he had got hold of kip. and since apparently he has eyes on people, that helps too. fix it jerry

im not thinking that its ominous that kip trusts eno so much because he shouldnt or because eno has been lying all along or something—like, if eno suspects himself for being involved in something now, im supposing he hadnt thought so before or hadnt considered it mattered because everything about how everything happened was moot because nobody was going to be continuing the matter and everyone was leading totally different lives. and as for currently, its not like i think eno is like, having the past catch up with him aka he’s betrayed kip or anyones trust before. i mean maybe eno has some totally unrelated dark secret that can be held over him, but even then i doubt that it would be anything where he would be forced to do something to endanger kip to protect himself. rather, i’d guess he might be given more of a non-choice in which he has to do something that will endanger kip because the threat is of causing kip immediate harm. what seems worst is that crimmins is really showing his hand early here maybe, or anyways, he thinks that theres no possible way for eno to prevent whatever crim wants to have happen. which is like, bad

and if he knows how much kip trusts eno, which he probably does, thats bad too…

if wallaces only purpose though was to show kip the files he had, that also has to mean rousing kip’s suspicion…..also, if kip had known about kents files before he’d seen wallace’s, wouldnt he potentially be immediately suspicious enough of wallace to cut off ties with him? maybe that doesn’t matter idk. b/c tbh it seems like theres only so much you can do w/ wallace while preserving his “unwitting involvement in an evil scheme” status, you cant ask him to do anything non-job related. unless his reports are doubling as surveillance or something. but he wouldnt do anything he thought was harmful or over his bounds. even asking him to get kip involved was weird, but at least crim seemed to accurately count on wallace caring too much abt his job to object with stuff rather than simply doing what he had to to keep it

like, clearly something about kip is important to crim’s schemes but how could i guess what. because im guessing we dont have enough information yet, but even if you gave me the info we have now and told me to fill in the blanks however i wanted, i couldnt come up with anything. im really really dumb as hell and not creative enough to take the ventures required to come up with accurate theories. but ok, medical experiments, it could just be anti-monster, but it could also be pro-human which happens to be anti-monster aka more exploitative. cuz it doesnt seem like theyre “Kill All Monsters” as much as “its fine if monsters die but if theyre alive we’ll just dump them somewhere because we just literally assign them no value unless somehow they’re useful towards whatever’s going on here.”

coz kip has two powers: 1) he’s a beloved semipublic figure, and 2) ice and he’s cold

and he has one majorly exploitable weakness in that he’s very afraid for his surrogate family, generally more scared than the average person of being murdered horribly, and knows he has good reasons for that and also trauma

but it seems like if crim wanted to get hold of kip by threatening his loved ones, he could do that at any time? why would wallace need to be involved at all; he wouldnt. why does he need to tip kip off about his own schemes. why did he need to wait five years? why has there been this five year gap? simply development of the mystery scheme? or is it because kip has moved back to c and/or because kip is a semi-public figure again

coz reading between the lines but im supposing that kip had earnestly and strongly intended to follow in kent’s footsteps but was presumably discouraged from this when his family was murdered. but even tho he only told wallace about moving back to c because roy and molly missed it, in the intervention that gets sprung on him and other hints, it sounds like kip still considers himself dedicated to helping people like kent did, which is what his sjw blog is, but he’s majorly aware of the danger of that and unwilling to get anyone killed this time, which is a major limitation, seeing as that happened to him before and everyone is disappeared all the time w/o repercussion. except the repercussion of one tiny group of people who look into it and get murdered, except for eno

but also kip must not have been doing any Helping The Public stuff before he moved to C, because when he says he has to help wallace to justify having thrown so much away, and considering how he’d lost so much in the fire, presumably what he’s thrown away is his life with pascal. im guessing he couldnt have made roy and molly split from him even if he tried, but pascal apparently could be parted from. for like a week, but whatever. he’d been dating pascal before the fire, but if he hadnt been involved in any position of openly helping monsters before the fire and hadnt before moving back to C, that explains why he tried to convince pascal not to go with them.

anyways, uh, see ive lost track of what i was saying. that, while kip is so afraid for the safety of those too close to him, he can also be pressured into a riskier position. but thats by his friends and himself. but maybe if he’s going to be given false information he thinks is from eno, he could do other risky things too. cuz i doubt theres any real protection, as if kent and yumi and eno werent trying to be safe. im guessing kip’s just trying to keep his head down and his cards close to his chest. its frustrating because technically he was right to be immediately suspicious of wallace to the point of associating him with the death of his family and being afraid of helping wallace, but not because wallace’s personal intentions arent good. but still its going to be really awkward if kip gets an idea of what wallace is associated with. cuz its an extremely delicate process that would allow wallace to figure out what was going on and break the news to kip and have kip trust him, so delicate that i doubt it exists and anyways the odds are not in its favor. but its frustrating because i want people to not be friends and not feel betrayed by their bosses and each other and even better, to be friends working together to resolve murders and an evil scheme

anyways. what does crim need from kip. stuff he knows? i doubt he’s trying to corrupt kip’s blog, or otherwise exploit the fact that kip’s probably a trusted community figure. for starters, crim’s already been getting away completely with abduction, murder, arson, etc, for years. unless theres some new Phase of the plan that requires something new. but again, it seems like a big ol coincidence that kip and co moved to C five months before wallace was moved into their exact building with the goal of getting involved with kip, tho wallace obviously doesnt know about all that stuff yet. why does it matter that kips in C. did crim not know where he was prior? did he need kip to be involved in the public sphere so that he could catch hold of him by sending out a social worker too naive and earnest to focus on the suspicious evilness of his new boss? did he just not need kip yet???

it seems strange to consider that crim could like, blackmail or threaten either kip or eno longterm. like, is he about to make a move here. because yeah they both have reasons to be extremely protective of people, which can be leveraged. but like wallace, i dunno how far they could be pushed with doing anything obviously harmful, or doing anything for anyone so obviously evilly motivated. or how long such a chokehold could be maintained. eno being threatened with kip’s wellbeing and being pressured into manipulating kip in one way or another is one thing, and even then how could he be threatened more than once. how could he be expected not to do something to warn someone if the pressing is let up for even a moment? is the point to abduct eno maybe and make kip feel even more afraid, because that would probably admittedly be super effective, but i imagine kip would just withdraw completely from things like being involved with wallace, blogging, etc. but to try to coerce kip into doing something by threatening multiple people is trickier, and what could kip do?

the thing is that i could see kip as being targeted for the ice thing, because thats another coincidence, that he has a really strong ability that seems pretty unusual even for monsters. like, freezing freshly brewed hot tea in a few seconds is really something. and i’m supposing he survived the fire by freezing himself / ice protection, which is really really something. and maybe the fact that he’s also an sjw who’s always scared that someones going to get hurt or killed is just a way to get to him. coz maybe, even probably, kip wasnt supposed to survive the fire, but just be another casualty because crim and co do not give a shit about bothering to spare any monsters life. but the fact that he did, using ice, and that he had his brothers files, all probably wasnt a secret. i mean, the surviving and the files part definitely wasnt, but just knowing the place was on fire and he survived ok probs implies that he had the ability to protect himself somehow, and thats a really impressive ability

so like maybe whatever traits theyre looking for makes kip the ideal target. maybe for once they felt like they couldnt just steal him away normally, but idk why they wouldnt. for example if crim just wanted to kidnap kip, maybe he just has. but that seems like wallace wouldnt need to be involved and eno wouldnt need to be involved and why wait til he’s in C? he doesnt need flushing out to be stolen off the street; he travels to B at least once a week on a schedule and he walks to work.

again, probably theres necessary info we dont even have that will fill in a missing piece here, but even now im too stupid to expand on the stuff we know to imagine up something that would fill in that blank. im too horrible at reading/understanding peoples motivations to even fully Get basic interactions sometimes, and im too uncreative to even come up with stuff like say, guess what crim’s trying to develop over there. maybe theres something about moving from development to initiation that needs kip’s particular involvement (??how??). but why has there been five years of them having been left alone in D, maybe, although how do we even know that

idk all i know is im stupid and i dont like that everyone is going to be even more miserable and endangered and mysteries are a trial for me because i want to die and dont want to have to deal with dying on a cliffhanger, i’ll be an angry ghost. ive probably forgotten a tangent or two i wanted to touch on and that makes me an angry pre-ghost. w/e