#i didn't even get to sit up front with everyone. i sat in the very back of the room in the very last row.

[enwoso]

Hi can you write a Lucy bronze x reader. Reader is the shy one of the team and during teamnights and interviews reader is very reserved. With Lucy she isn’t as shy. Lucy helps reader slowly get out her shell (some fluff :))

JUST NOT ME — lucy bronze

*i truly apologise for the lack of posts in the past few days, i’ve had a hectic few days and i’ve been focused on studying so sorry if this sucks — posts will probably be a bit inconsistent over the next few weeks but i’ll be as active as i can<3*

"you excited?" beth asked as the car pulled into the entrance of st george's park, the familiar surroundings bringing a small smile to your face. this was your first call up to the england squad in almost a year, having been out with the dreaded ACL injury.

"i guess" you shrugged, beth shaking her head in amusement. you didn't really know how to explain it, of course you were excited, who wouldn't be happy playing for their country but you were almost nervous, what if you weren't up the standard of others in the group.

"always the women of few words!" beth joked, one you had heard many times as the arsenal girls loved to tease you about how quiet you were but that's just how you were cause not everyone was her.

they didn’t know that you needed a chance to warm up to people before you let them into your bubble, they didn’t know that even though because you don’t say a lot that you aren’t paying attention as you notice every persons small habits they have. cause not everyone was her.

you were a listener and not someone who could sit and chat someone's ears off for ever more than a day like the likes of beth mead and ella toone could do so effortlessly without even realising.

but maybe that's what lucy liked so much about you.

you and lucy had been together just nearing two years now, the two of you had known of each other for a while it wasn't until a night out in london with the lionesses that leah had dragged you to after you had said for days on end that you weren’t going, that you and lucy spoke to each other.

you sitting in the corner of the club, drink in hand as you watched millie and rachel on the karaoke a small smile on your face at their singing which was not the slightest in tune at all.

lucy spotting you sat alone slipping in the booth with you before asking you why you weren't doing karaoke like everyone else, you shrugging at the girls question before she asked you if you wanted to do it with her.

you face going red as you almost immediately shook your head, but lucy being lucy had her mission for the night and that was to get you to do karaoke, and to which she succeeded after sitting and having a few more drinks with you.

and from that night, the rest was history.

you rolled your eyes at beth's comment as she chuckled to herself getting out the cab first, getting her luggage as you followed close behind her, thanking the driver as you headed into the entrance of st george's park.

taking in the familiar surroundings, as you looked around noticing the few changes since the last time you were here.

"i'm not holding these doors open for the good of my own health, hurry up!" beth pointed out, her thick northern accent bouncing off the walls as she was stood in the doorway of the lift, pulling you out of your trace as you hurried to get into the lift. pressing the buttons on the side of the wall for the floor you needed.

you and beth getting out of the lift on the same floor, you noticing your girlfriend as she had her back turned the opposite way, a smile appearing on your face.

beth nudging you, "go on!" she whispered as you said a small bye to the blonde as she walked the opposite way.

"your here!" a voice cheered which you knew all too well, lucy stood at the end of the hallway in front of her room door as you stopped your suitcase at your own door.

you smiled seeing the girl, your smile getting bigger with every step she took closer to before engulfing you in a tight hug. your whole body relaxing in hers, the smell of her perfume that you had missed.

“of course i’m here?” you smiled confused at her reaction to seeing you stood in the hallway. “well the media was saying you were gonna withdraw because of an irritation in your knee” she admitted a small frown on her face at the mention of your knee, knowing how hard and the amount of hours you had put in just to get back to the level you were at just last year.

“baby, you do know i would tell you before i even told sarina if i was going to withdraw don’t you?” you asked her, your hands finding their way up the back of her training top, your girlfriend having been here since early as she’d had an early flight to catch this morning.

“yeah”

"anyways, i've missed you" you mumbled into her neck, nestling your head as her hands fell to your lower back you feeling her smile against your forehead as she kissed it.

"i've missed you too love" she smiled as you looked up with a lovesick smile on your face. lucy pressing small kisses to your cheeks, nose and chin before finally pressing a soft kiss to your lips — which you would be dammed to say that you hadn't missed.

it was hard at times being away from your girlfriend for weeks on end as she played in barcelona and you were playing in north london at arsenal. having to schedule weeks in advance of when you would next be able to see each other.

but it made moments like these all the more worth it.

when you would finally be reunited and be in her arms again. sometime you think the distance made the two of you closer in a weird way as you felt as though you cherished you time together more.

"you coming down to lunch?" your girlfriend asked as she pressed your foreheads together, the smile never leaving either of your faces. you nodded, "yeah, let me just put my bag in and chance my shoes"

lucy hummed as she let you go from the hug, grabbing your suitcase for you as you rummaged around your pocket for your room key, the green light flashing as you pushed the handle down.

the door shutting with a click as you opened your suitcase finding your sliders to slip on, “baby, you got another pair!” lucy whisper yelled, pointing to your pink crocs that you were pulling out of your suitcase as she sat at the end of the bed watching you.

“yeah?”

“so what? that makes it seven pairs you’ve got now!” lucy said exaggerating the amount, as you huffed rolling your eyes as if she didn’t have trainers lined up on her bedroom floor.

“three actually” you sassed standing up and checking your hair in the mirror as lucy pulled a face at you, you doing one back to her.

“now quit your complaining, i want food!” you smiled sweetly at your girlfriend grabbing her hand and pulling her up from the bed as she pecked your lips quickly before you left your room not before checking that you had your phone and key card to actually get back into your room.

walking down hand in hand with lucy to where food was being served, as you filled each other in on the journey here. lucy’s sounding a lot more exciting then your two hour car journey consisting of views of trees and beth chatting your ears off about anything and every.

saying a small hello to others that you hadn’t seen since arriving before grabbing something to eat and sitting on a table just the two of you.

"on sunday, i went for breakfast with my mum and you know all she spoke about was you!" you complained as lucy had a smirk on her face as she put another forkful of food into her mouth, nodding alone to what you were saying.

"that's because i'm her favourite" lucy laughed as you rolled your eyes. “clearly, it’s so annoying-“ you began before being cut off by two blondes joining you at the table.

"how do you do that?" leah asked, directing her question more at lucy than you, as she sat down beth following behind the captain. as the two sat down at the table you and lucy were sat at.

"do what?" lucy asked, confusion taking over her face as she looked to you who shrugged putting another forkful of food in your mouth.

"get y/n to have a conversation!" leah pointed to you as you felt your cheeks go a little red as a small smile appeared on your face, as lucy looked back to the blonde and the two others still not really understanding what leah was trying to get at.

"we always have a conversation?" lucy shrugged as if it was nothing, cause to her it was. you had never really spoken to lucy until she had brought you out your shell. lucy knew you were more reserved when it came to talking to others, you would speak but it would be very few words.

but she wouldn’t change it for the word cause even if you didn’t say anything back she knew you were always listening and taking in everything she was saying.

beth and leah began to recount all the the times they had talked to you and you only ever gave them a one word answer, the two pleading with lucy to tell them her ways.

"really? y/n over here is a little chatterbox!" lucy smiled over to you as you awkwardly smiled at the two not really knowing what to say.

"she's not at shy as she likes to let everyone think she is!" she bumped your shoulder, as you rolled your eyes the sound of your fork tinkering against the plate in front as beth and leah’s mouth hang wide open in shock.

"no i refuse to believe it, how!"

"your just not me" lucy joked, the four of you beginning to laugh as you nodded your head in agreement, "i mean your not entirely wrong"

liked by lj10 and 736,250 others

lucybronze no one compares ☺️

comments -

youruser awh how cute

-> lucybronze no i meant no one compares to me?

-> youruser your ego is sickening at times.

[puppy-steve]

had my stepdad's funeral today (not my current stepdad) and hoooooo boy the abandonment issues are in full swing :)

[lustspren]

P.S.T EP. 11 | Stay the Night ft Karina.

length: 14k words✦

Karina & Male Reader

genres: anal, oral sex, hard sex, creampie, exhibitionism, dirty talk, titjob, handjob, footjob, facefuck, body worship, shower sex, outdoor sex, ass eating, facial, backshot, sunbathing (?

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You always hated getting up early before everyone else, you felt like an idiot and it was like being in a limbo of unknown people around you. If that wasn't enough, the place was full of unbearable rich men talking about their possessions or businesses as if they were trying to compete with each other. You sank into your seat, waiting for the food you had ordered for breakfast while looking at your phone.

Last night you couldn't fall asleep when you got to your room, you tossed and turned for an hour and a half until you were finally able to relax, so you had about 5 hours of sleep at most. Definitely not enough, but when you woke up there was no turning back.

Part of this insomnia was due to the fact that you couldn't stop turning over in your head what had happened with Noze. It still felt like a very wild lucid dream to you, you and her had fucked Minjeong together, turned her into a sex slave only useful to satisfy both of you, and thinking about it still turned you on a lot. You remembered how she looked into your eyes while she was riding Minjeong's face and how she went crazy with pleasure watching you destroy her. You wanted to fuck her like an animal and have her to yourself, but you knew that would be impossible. Not only did she not have that kind of interest in you, but she couldn't even have it. You were a man.

You also never stopped wondering what she thought about all that, or how she would react from now on. You didn't know if she was going to talk about it openly, if she was going to participate more actively in your services, or if nothing like that was going to happen again. The answer didn't take long to arrive in front of your eyes.

Noze entered the hotel restaurant in a hurry, and from the look on her face as she walked towards you, you figured it was best not to mention anything about past events at all unless you wanted a fork stuck in your eye. You wanted to compliment her on how pretty she looked that morning, but you also didn't think it was appropriate considering she was visibly fresh out of bed.

"Why did you let me sleep so late?" She asked, taking a piece of green apple from your plate to put it in her mouth. She had four more seats available, but she chose to sit next to you at the circular table.

"I didn't even know I was allowed to wake you up," you said, she didn't even answer you before she was already immersed in her phone, you assumed waking everyone up.

"Hey, grab some things for the girls to have breakfast and pack them up, we've got to go," she told you, then got up to make a call.

While you went to the restaurant reception to ask for some plastic containers, the girls were already entering the restaurant with the worst aspects you remembered about them in a long time. They walked like the stupid zombies from The Walking Dead, visibly exhausted from last night's concert. You noticed that Minjeong was holding on to Giselle's arm as her legs were shaky. You couldn't do anything but hold back your laughter.

Once you packed the girls' breakfasts and put them in a bag, you left the restaurant with them and Noze. The vans were already outside, and from Noze's hurry you could tell that all the staff members were ready to leave, the only ones missing were you. You had to jog to catch up with them and leave the hotel.

"You were too busy last night to say goodnight like you always do huh?" Ning joked once you were settled inside the van, she had sat next to you and hugged your arm, snuggling against it.

"Something like that," you chuckled, watching as the girls began to fall asleep when the van hadn't even started.

"Try not to forget it again, those messages make me happy," she laid her head on your shoulder, yawned and closed her eyes. All the girls were now asleep, only you, the driver, and Noze were awake. She was focused on doing all the tasks that she couldn't do because she woke up late, she used a laptop, her phone and a notebook for it.

Noze worked with the efficiency and speed of a machine, you couldn't help but stare in amazement at how she could do so many things so well at the same time. She wrote emails on her laptop, wrote down things on the notebook that you couldn't see from your seat, and made calls, often some of those things at the same time. On the way to the airport you discovered that the reason for all the hustle and bustle was that she wanted the arrival to be as unnoticed as possible, which you were sure would happen since she was always two steps ahead of everyone.

When you arrived at the airport, you were not surprised by the fact that there was not a single flash that bothered the girls while they walked to do all the corresponding checks. Yes, there were a few people who stopped to look when they recognized the girls, but they simply took a discreet photo with their phones or just left with a smile on their face.

When you boarded the jet —which was the same one that had brought you to Dallas—the girls ran to choose their seats and made themselves comfortable to fall asleep again. That left you alone with Noze once again. You had a long time with her ahead, so once it was safe to get up inside the cabin, you went to sit next to her while she worked on her laptop.

"So..." you started, leaving your phone connected to your power bank on the table, next to her laptop, "did you have a good time last night?" You asked, crossing your arms on the table and resting the side of your face on your hand to look at her. Noze gave a disbelieving smirk and she stayed silent for a few seconds while she minimized Excel.

"Yeah, but it wasn't anything special," she replied, playing it cool, you raised both eyebrows in shock as you stared at her, "What? Stop imagining me and Joohyun," she put a hand on your face and made you look away. You laughed.

"When you and her did your things in the dorm... did any of the other members join in?" you asked, emboldened, perhaps a little driven by curiosity. You looked at her again.

"And why are you asking these questions so suddenly?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Because you're always busy and right now it's just you and me," she stared into your eyes for a few seconds.

"Mostly Seulgi," she said finally, "you know, she and Joohyunie are inseparable. But in short, all of them, in every possible combination, multiple times."

“Fuck, that sounds like a lot of fun,” you joked with an incredulous giggle.

"I know right? You would love Wendy, that girl is built differently."

"You should recommend me to her then, don't you think?" Noze's face darkened.

"I would if only I spoke to any of them today," she let out a deep breath of disappointment. You remained silent for a few seconds, thinking about whether it was right to continue asking her about that topic, but you also knew that you would have few opportunities like that.

"How did you and her... you know, how did that come about?" you asked. Noze sighed and swallowed, then she looked out the window and stared blankly.

"Well... at first it was nothing more than a very strong sexual attraction. The first practice we all had watching her was like watching Aphrodite dancing, and I guess she felt the same way about me, because as soon as we had a break, we locked ourselves in a bathroom to... you know."

“Aha,” you nodded, prompting her to continue.

"All our first meetings were the same, we would chat from time to time but the only thing we would meet up for was to have sex, until one day she had a pretty serious mental breakdown during the post-practice night. That was the first time I saw Bae Joohyun and not Red Velvet's Irene. Seeing her like that was... lethal for me, so vulnerable, so... her," Noze sighed and paused briefly, "Meeting the person behind the idol for the first time It's always something special... and she certainly is special."

"Did you start dating since then?"

"Not since that moment, but our relationship did change. She now opened up to me to tell me her problems, and I did the same. Over time we realized that we had a lot of things in common, and that we had a lot of chemistry. We started dating, and well, I was weak, stupid, and I fell in love," Noze couldn't help but let out a small smile, perhaps remembering everything she had gone through with Irene, "We became girlfriends and we thought everything was perfect, no one suspected anything and we were happy. But what I already told you happened, and everything collapsed," her smile faded and she looked down, her eyes began to fill with tears, "Look... entertainment companies are already strict with heterosexual relationships, now imagine a possible scandal between a Red Velvet member and her backup dancer. That was unacceptable to them, and it was a shame for us."

"And... you were still together after that?" Seeing her with tears running down her cheeks made you do something you normally wouldn't have done, you put your hand on her thigh and started trying to comfort her with caresses. She didn't seem to care.

"For a while, yeah," she nodded, "even when I was the girls' manager already, but we knew that wasn't going to work out in any way and we broke up," tears continued to roll down her cheeks, but she was controlling herself in order not to burst into sobs, "I think Seulgi had a lot to do with all of that, but I honestly don't care anymore," you didn't consider it appropriate to mention that Seulgi was one of your regular clients when you were still at the spa.

"When you locked yourself away to cry last night it was because of her, right?" You also asked with a lump in your throat. That was affecting you more than it should. You were sensitive about failed love stories.

"Aha... the day we flew to Dallas she woke me up with a call, she sounded drunk and well... she rubbed salt into a wound that… d-didn't need to be reopened," she put her hands on her face and unable to bear it any longer she burst into sobs. You couldn't do anything but surrender to your protective instinct and wrap her in your arms. She hugged you and buried her face in your chest as she stifled cries.

"It's okay... it's okay," you tried to comfort her by caressing her hair and her back, "let it out," you didn't expect such a reaction from her, and partly you felt guilty for bringing that up in the first place, but you noticed that she had never talked about it with anyone, and that she had not received a hug of that kind in a long time, "I'm not the one to tell you this but... I think you should cut off all contact with her, what she did is not healthy, and it affects you more than it does to her."

"I-It's not that easy," she sobbed, still clinging to your torso with both arms.

"Well, you'll have to, because what happened can't be repeated, for the sake of both of you. You don't need her to be happy. Life teaches us lessons in very cruel ways, and maybe what happened was life telling you that there was a better place for you than there," she pulled away from your chest with red eyes and tear-filled cheeks to look at you.

"You think?" she asked.

"Of course I do, and even if I didn't, you still have to work hard to get over her. Your life can never revolve around one person, it's self-destructive and it has become a burden for you."

"I… fuck," she looked down and stayed quiet as she wiped away her tears, "you're right, it's become a damn burden and I should be stronger than this," she finally pulled away from you, "God, I'm so sorry, I don't like crying like that in front of anyone."

"And don't you think you needed to vent to someone else?"

"Yeah...," she nodded, looking away.

"It's no use keeping things to yourself, the only thing you achieve with that is constantly drowning in what hurts you."

"Fuck, since when did you become a psychologist?" she asked with a laugh that was meant to lighten the mood, "I hired you because of your cock, not for this."

"I'm just trying to help, I'm sorry," you smiled sadly.

"No, it's okay," she put a hand on your forearm and squeezed it gently, "you're right in what you're saying, and I appreciate it, it's just… it's not easy for me."

"I know it's not, but you have to start somewhere, right?" you placed your hand on top of hers, "Chicks don't learn to fly as soon as they're born."

"Are you calling me a bird?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You understood what I meant."

"Aha," she laughed.

"What I'm getting at is that I want you to know that you shouldn't fight those battles alone, I can be there for you, and I promise to do everything in my power to make you forget about Irene for the rest of the tour, I don't know, maybe by finding you a pretty girl or something," Noze laughed again.

"I really appreciate it, dork," she smiled, finally pushing her hand away, "You should go to sleep, there's still a long flight ahead and I know you haven't slept well."

"I'm not sleepy, if I'm honest," you sighed, "I'll wait until I get to the hotel."

"Do you want to watch a movie then? I think I have Forrest Gump saved," she started searching for it on her laptop.

"Aight, good for me," you nodded, sinking into your seat and crossing your arms to watch her movie with her.

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The landing in Miami was almost as calm as the departure from Dallas, this time there were some flashes, but nothing that was not tolerable for you and the girls, who were already replenished thanks to the four hours of sleep extras they had between the flight and all the road trips. You and Noze were the only ones who still had dark circles under your eyes, but luckily you were going to have a day off before the concert, that left you with tonight and the entire next day to be able to sleep at some point.

"Hey, would you do the check in?" Noze asked you as you all entered the lobby, "I have to go put some things in order with the staff."

"Sure thing," you nodded, heading towards the reception. Doing the check you realized that there were not enough rooms reserved for the 6 of you. There were only 4 Deluxe Bay View Rooms, "Sorry sir, I just don't understand, it must be a mistake. We didn't reserve a damn presidential suite."

"I'm sorry sir, but that's how everything was registered this morning," the good-natured-looking guy told you, "I'm afraid it's not a mistake," you took a deep breath, trying not to get hysterical.

"Listen to me carefully sir, this is unacceptable. I will need to change the reservations immediately," just as you said that Noze stood next to you and pinched the flesh of your waist without the receptionist noticing. You winced.

"The reservations are correct, sir, there is no problem," she assured with a smile as she continued to pinch you, you tried to get away but when you pulled it became more painful.

"Understood, miss," the receptionist looked at you with some annoyance as you continued to grimace in pain and proceeded to hand out the corresponding cards, "Have a pleasant stay."

"Very kind, thank you," Noze bowed slightly, taking the cards and then pulled you away from the reception desk, "Sometimes it surprises me how brainless you can be sometimes, damn it," she reproached you, finally letting you go.

"Why the fuck did you book a presidential suite?!" you squeaked in confusion, rubbing where she had pinched you.

"Do you remember the favor Jimin said I owed her?" she asked you, "Well, it was about getting you that suite and covering you for tonight and the entire next day."

"Oh," you remained silent with a lost look, everything was finally clicking in your momentarily slow head, "Of course," you looked towards where the girls were gathered, finding Jimin's gaze on you all this time. She shot you a wink, and you were stunned thinking about what she had in store for you.

The six of you went to the elevator and got inside, in a normal elevator it might have been somewhat uncomfortable, but that one was the size of your bathroom. When it arrived at the Deluxe Rooms floor the door opened wide and all the girls except Jimin got out.

"Huh? Why don't you go out?" Minjeong asked with a frown. All the girls were equally confused.

"I'll explain it to you later," Noze sighed, looking at you. Jimin pulled out a mischievous smile, waved her hand to them and pulled out the suite's card, swiping it from side to side. She then pressed the button for the top floor and the doors began to close, the last thing you saw was the sad look on Ning’s eyes. You'd make it up to her later.

"Excited for the time alone?" Jimin asked from beside you as the elevator went up.

"I'm scared," you said without thinking.

"Perfect then," you noticed out of the corner of your eye how she smiled.

When you went up to the presidential suite floor and Jimin swiped the key card, your jaw almost dropped to the floor at the magnitude of the space you were going to have to yourself. The first thing you saw when you entered was the living room, with a palette of brown and khaki colors, which worked in perfect harmony with the warm light and furniture. To the left was a large wooden bookshelf, with multiple square spaces and a huge television embedded in the middle. In front of the bookshelf, a single armchair, a wide stool, a long curved armchair in the corner and a round coffee table in the middle.

"This is a whole fucking apartment, Yoo Jimin," you said dumbfounded, leaving your bags and hers on the couch, "And look at the view, oh my god," you walked towards the sliding glass door that led to the huge balcony, which spanned the entire width of the suite. The views of Miami Bay were worth framing, with the open sea to your left and the buildings in front on the other side of the water.

"Is there anything you want to do while we're here in Miami?" Jimin asked you, walking out onto the balcony with you. The evening sea breeze began to move your hair. She leaned on the railing with both hands as she looked out over the city.

"I'm here to do whatever you want to do, you know how this works," you responded, standing next to her as you looked to the left, towards the sea.

"Good answer," she said with a giggle, "then how about you unpack your things and go buy some Soju and beer?"

"Soju and beer?" You asked, somewhat surprised, you weren't expecting such a simple and down to earth plan from her.

"Yeah, I don't have a preference for any brand so just bring whatever," she nodded and gave you a peck on the cheek, "come on."

"Fair enough," you said, and walked back into the suite with her, still surprised by the fact that you were expecting more elaborate plans, or perhaps more refined tastes on her part.

Once you two unpacked only the necessary things other than clothes and took the suitcases to the master bedroom, you quickly went down to the lobby and approached the receptionist again. You asked where you could get Soju, and after clarifying what you were talking about he gave you an address that you knew was not around the corner, so you were forced to take a little trip. 

You found it necessary to let her know that it would take longer than expected.

As soon as you read Jimin's answers you ordered an Uber as you went out into the street. It arrived in a matter of minutes. The nearest liquor store was about eight minutes away by car, when you got there you searched through the shelves until you found the aforementioned Soju, which apparently was not so popular there in Miami since there was only a small dedicated section. For the beer you didn't have to think too much, there was an entire aisle dedicated solely to Bud Light and all the presentations of it. You opted for a 20 unit box that you took out of the refrigerator. You also grabbed a few various snacks and a tub of pistachio ice cream. You paid and left with the same driver.

Upon arriving at the hotel again you thanked the driver for his patience and rushed back to the suite. Inside, Jimin kept pleasantly surprising you. She was sitting on the couch with a loose t-shirt and short shorts on, a Switch in her hands, and in front of her on the small round table were two pizza boxes, one closed and the other open. Two slices were already missing.

"Oh, hello," she greeted, staring at the screen, "are they cold?"

"Uh, the beers?" You closed the door behind you.

"Aha," she nodded.

"I think so," you put the bag on the floor and took out the beer box.

"Toss me one," she ordered.

"No way, they're bottles," you refused, taking all the things out of the bag before opening the beer box and taking out two, "Oh, they're aluminum..." she looked at you and you looked at her, "think fast," you threw it to her, and she caught it.

"Come on, you must be hungry," she patted the couch next to her, and you went to sit. She opened her beer and took a swig.

"What did you order the pizzas with?" you asked, opening yours. You took a sip which cooled your throat.

"They both have beef, pork, peppers, black olives, mushrooms, onion and pepperoni," she got as close to you as possible, her warmth comforting you.

"Fuck, that's delicious," you took a slice and took a big bite. The pizza was still hot and tasted amazing.

"Shall we have some Super Smash?" She took another slice as well, took a bite, and put it back in the box. You continued eating the one you had in your hand because in fact, you were hungry as fuck.

"Fuck yeah, let's connect the Switch to the TV. Do you have the HDMI cable?" you brought the last piece of slice to your mouth. You immediately grabbed another one.

"In my backpack, probably. Please don't judge me if you find a vibrator or some shit like that."

"I could judge you for many things, a vibrator in your backpack won't be one of them."

The night went drastically different than you first imagined. You and Jimin played video games for hours, eating pizza and drinking beer like two homies coming home from college after a stressful day of exams. You didn't feel any sexual desire from her on you at any time, nor any sexual innuendo, she was simply behaving as she would with some old friend with whom she had a close relationship. You noticed her close, and not only physically—that too, because she maintained physical contact with you in a friendly and affectionate way—, but also as a person in whom you could blindly trust.

"Have you ever heard of Beerio Kart?" she asked with her legs raised on top of yours. The blue JoyCon in her hand. You had the other one.

"Nope, never," you were in the top-down view of the Cuphead map. You had been playing it for an hour now.

"Well, it's playing Mario Kart, but every time you're about to finish a race, you have to drink a beer. Otherwise, you're not allowed to finish the race."

"Damn, that sounds like fun. I have a friend who is really fucking good at playing video games, I'll save the idea to tell him later. Although I don't know how much free time he has, last time he was doing private coaching to a guy who apparently didn't let him go."

"Coaching of what?"

"League Of Legends, bastard is GrandMaster."

"Pretty impressive."

"You have no idea what that is, do you?"

"Nope. Are you up to play or not?"

"Of course I do, Rina," you had been calling her that all night. She seemed to like it, so you didn't stop doing it.

"Aight, I hope you have enough tolerance then," you noticed a glow of pure excitement in her eyes as she navigated the Switch's menu looking for Mario Kart.

"We'll see about that," you sighed.

The two of you started playing, and Yoo Jimin's competitive spirit came out as the races went on. You won the first ones without much problem, but the alcohol was treacherous, and it began to take its toll on you. Jimin was no fool, she took advantage of your somewhat dizzy state to take advantage of you in the curves in which you crashed and win you multiple races. The intoxication levels grew, as did your friendship. She wasn't exactly a good loser, and neither were you, but you were sure that neither of you had laughed as much in a long time as you did that night.

"We still have the Soju bottles right? How many did you buy?" Jimin's voice was already leaning towards babbling, you didn't expect her to want to keep drinking.

"Only two," your speech was still perfect, but you already felt a little sleepy.

"We'll open them and play until they're empty," you didn't like the determination with which she said that, but you had no choice.

An open bottle of Soju, a new round of racing. It wasn't Berio Kart anymore, it was now Soju Kart, and you didn't like the speed at which those drinks took effect on your nervous system. By the time you finished the first bottle Jimin was already laughing like an idiot at absolutely everything, and you felt like you could fall asleep on the floor if possible. Another bottle of Soju opened, and now you moved on to playing Super Mario Party. You didn't know half of the things you were saying or doing, and you were sure that you never really accomplished the objective of the game. The bottle was half full when you had to stop.

"You know, sometimes I hate all this..." Jimin said in a clumsy voice. You and her were now lying on the couch, you on one side and her on the other. Your legs were intertwined so you could fit.

"What are you talking about?" You looked at the ceiling without blinking. You swore you could see little colored stars.

"To be the leader. It's exhausting..." there was heaviness in her voice, as if she were speaking of a burden, "everyone expects something from you... they expect you to be perfect, to be the standard."

"Well... I don't see that you've done wrong so far."

"I know not. But in this industry everyone is focused on the next big thing... I'm afraid that soon I will fade into the background."

"You do realize how pretty and famous you are, right?"

"That's not the problem. The problem is that every day a girl comes out prettier than me, and Koreans forget very quickly when a better product appears."

"Why do you care so much? You're fulfilling a dream, right? I mean, look around for a second."

"You're right, maybe complaining while lying in a presidential suite isn't the most logical thing to do."

"In Miami, you forgot in Miami."

"In Miami, yeah," she was silent for a few seconds, "But still... I'm exhausted."

"You don't think it's because you drank 10 beers and a bottle and a half of Soju?"

"It could also be," you and she laughed as if you had made the best joke in the world. The reality was that you just seemed like two old drunks, "But no, I'm exhausted from living in the public eye, it sucks."

"If it's any consolation, all successful artists live that way, but of course, Korean fans are completely different from Western fans."

"They think they own your life, yeah... I hate that," another small silence, "but I guess that's the price to pay for fulfilling my dream."

"It doesn't seem like a fair price to me."

"Not really, but seeing every venue we go filled with people singing our songs and showing us love... dude, that makes up for a lot of things."

"Honey, I would love to keep listening to you but I swear I feel like I have two bearskin blinds for eyes," you were falling asleep. She laughed.

"Don't worry, rather thank you. It's nice to feel like I have someone like you for me. A bro," her clumsy voice as she said that made you laugh.

"That's a nice way to friendzone me," you joked. She tapped her foot on your thigh.

"What nonsense are you talking about?" She laughed, "Hey, I'd like you to come to bed with me so we can cuddle... I mean, if you don't want to, it's fine."

"Are you kidding? Me sleeping with you while I'm drunk sounds like the best feeling in the world."

"Come on then, silly."

The walk to the master bedroom was clumsy and bumpy. The suite was gigantic and the bedroom was illogically far from the living room where you were. Arriving felt like the end of a painful odyssey. The huge king size bed was waiting for you, well arranged and comfortable. The lights were off, but the night lights that filtered through the sliding door that led to the balcony did the job perfectly. Jimin took off her shorts and jumped onto the bed face down while you turned on the air conditioning. Her t-shirt had ridden up to the middle of her back and her ass adorned by gray Calvin Klein panties was completely exposed, under other circumstances that would have turned you on, but at that moment you were more in Narnia than in the real world.

"Give me some space, Rina," you took off your sweatpants and the hoodie you were wearing, now you were on equal terms with her.

Jimin settled on the side of the bed and got under the covers. You joined her, and feeling your head supported by that soft pillow made you feel in the clouds. The mattress felt amazing too, but none of those things equaled the feeling of Jimin's body snuggling against yours. She had turned her back on you, inviting you to sleep on a spoon. You put your right arm under her head so she was lying on it, and then wrapped your left arm around her. Her entire body pressed against yours, feeling soft and warm.

"Rest well...thank you for being so real with me, I needed it," those were Jimin's last sleepy, sweet words before she fell asleep. Soon you followed her.

---------------------------------

You woke up the next morning alone and panicked. Jimin wasn't by your side. As the morning Miami sun illuminated the side of your face you took out your phone to check your chat with Noze. There was nothing there. You stood up and were surprised again by the views you had from there, at that time the ships were already prowling the sea under the blue sky. You could have stayed there for a while just admiring the scenery, but you had to look for Jimin.

Turns out you were just being hysterical. While you were looking for her you saw her outside on the balcony, so calm and composed eating the breakfast that room service must have brought to the suite. You were still in a t-shirt and boxers, but you were so high up and so far from the other buildings that you didn't mind going out to the balcony with her like that. Besides, you noticed that she was still only wearing her panties underneath her as well.

"Good morning, handsome," she greeted you with a warm smirk, "Did you sleep well? Come, have breakfast with me."

"It's one of the best sleeps I've ever had in my life, yeah," you nodded, rubbing your eyes and approaching the table where she was sitting. When you looked at the plates of food you were stunned. Not only were there at least three fried eggs in different presentations for you, but also a plate of banana toast with peanut butter, a small bowl with pineapple, blueberries, kiwi and apple, and a small glass of Greek yogurt.

"You're going to need a lot of protein to get through the day," she must have seen your shocked face to say that.

"I mean, yeah, I imagine," you scratched your temple and had no choice but to sit down to eat. Jimin was already finishing her breakfast by the time you had just finished one of your fried eggs.

"You should hurry up, I told Noze and the girls not to bother us today," she stood up, "I have a lot of fun plans," just as she said that she took off her shirt and threw it into the suite. Her beautiful pair of tits were exposed to the Miami skyline, and you almost choked on a piece of toast. Making sure you had your eyes on her, she also took off her Calvin Klein panties and left them over your shoulder, "I'll wait for you in the shower, bon appetit."

She re-entered the suite, swaying her sexy hips from side to side. Your eyes stayed on her ass and lower back as long as they could until she disappeared from your sight. Never in your life had you devoured breakfast so quickly as you did that time.

After finishing your breakfast you rushed into the suite, brushed your teeth in one of the bathrooms where Jimin was not and went to where she was. The water was already on. You undressed in a matter of seconds and got into the shower with her. The floor was made of wooden planks with slight separations from each other, and the walls, which formed a wide circle around you with two small windows on each side, were made of black mosaic. The most notable thing was the giant rain shower head that hung from the ceiling like a lamp. Under it, Yoo Jimin letting the water run over her statuesque body.

"So? What's the agenda for today?" you approached her from behind her and put your hands on her waist. She didn't seem startled at all, she'd probably heard you come in. You noticed a mischievous smile while she had her eyes closed.

"Prove that I'm the best," she took a step back and pressed her ass against your cock. You pulled her with you out of the waterfall.

"Oh yeah?" You wrapped your arms around her fleshy frame and buried your face in her neck, giving her a few pecks, "and how exactly do you plan to do that?"

"I already told you I had a lot of plans," she murmured with her hands on your arms, "for now, help me take a shower, will you?"

"Fuck, you don't have to ask me twice."

Jimin extended an arm towards one of the windows and grabbed a soap. You subtly took it from her hand and got to work. You started by soaping her back, moving across her shoulder blades, her shoulders, and patiently moving down to her lower back, which was probably one of your favorite parts of her body. While down there you paid special attention to her hips and her waist, then you climbed back up to her arms, and then you squatted down to reach her ass.

"Treat it well, it's going to be your amusement park today," she said looking down over her shoulder.

"Well, in that case..." before placing your soapy hands on her ass you grabbed hold of her thighs and brought your face closer to her buttocks. You gave subtle kisses to both. Her flesh felt spongy against your lips, which traced a long trail of kisses up and down her ass. You soon found yourself immersed in worshiping that wonderful piece of food, but you had to continue.

“Fuck, you have really good lips,” she gasped as you began to soap her ass. While soaping you also massaged and squeezed each buttock gently.

"Wait until you feel them in that pussy."

You moved down from her buttocks to her thighs, to which you also devoted some special attention before moving down to the back of her knees and down to her calves. Soon the entire backside of her body was soapy. Now it was time for the fun part. When you stood up again and turned her around you couldn't help but feel turned on by her lascivious gaze, so you crashed your lips against hers. The steamy kiss lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to make your cock rock hard.

You began to rub soap over her collarbone and her shoulders, her gaze fixed on you as you made to reach for her tits, but as you did previously with her ass, first you wanted to worship that beautiful pair of mounds. You slightly bent her knees and held onto Jimin's ribs, that was enough to immerse yourself in her tits. She didn't bother letting out an audible moan, as you took one of her nipples into your mouth and sucked on it. You didn't stop paying attention to any of her mounds at any time. You sucked, licked and kissed one, and the other you squeezed and massaged with her nipple being stimulated by your fingers.

"Fuck, you're going to drive me crazy..." she gasped.

"Good."

A few more seconds of kissing her tits were enough to leave you satiated for the moment. You resumed your original work, soaping up her soft tits to work your way down to her sexy midriff. You squatted down again. Her belly also called you to kiss it, and you did exactly that for a few seconds, distributing saliva-filled kisses around her navel and on her lower abdomen, also including her pubis. More soap, more foam-covered inches of flesh. You omitted her crotch for a moment, instead you gave way to what you had left to soap on her legs.

For the main attraction you stood up and kissed her again. She greeted your lips with a moan, and you brought your hand to her crotch to run your soapy fingers along her slit. You moved your hand away from her pussy and now ran it along her inner thighs, applying full pressure as a small massage to which she responded with another moan.

"Stop," she gasped, pulling away from your lips, "you already soaped me up, it's my turn."

Jimin separated from you and got under her shower again. She removed all the soap on her body in a matter of seconds, and as she stepped out she took the bar of soap from your hand. Now the entire center of attention was you. Jimin soaped both of her hands well and began to run them over your body while she looked into your eyes. Just like you, she had saved the best part for last once your entire body was soaped up.

She gave her hands a final coat of soap before leaving the bar in its place, pressing her body against yours and bringing her hand to your cock. You gasped, and she began to fill every inch of your shaft with foam. She massaged your balls gently too, and rubbed the palm of her hand against the back of your cock, up and down multiple times. You bit your lip and stifled a small moan, and against all odds, she put a firm grip with her fingers around your flesh and began to slowly jerk you off.

“Oh fuck…” you gasped. She had her tits pressed against your chest, and one of her thighs wedged between your legs. You felt her pussy rubbing against your thigh.

"You were looking forward to it huh?" Her sexy, teasing voice prompted you to kiss her. She began to move her hand faster, it sliding smoothly along your shaft. Her other hand didn't stay still, it went from rubbing your abdomen to caressing your balls.

"Since last night," you admitted, giving her complete control over you as you let your head fall back and let out a moan.

"I would have gladly sucked your cock if you had asked me," she took advantage of the exposure of your neck to fill it with kisses and bites. Her hand moved even faster on your cock and the other squeezed your balls gently.

"It would have been anti-climactic..."

"But it would have been nice to choke on your cock with several beers in my system..." she murmured against your neck.

"You can do it right now," you lowered your head and met her lips. Your previously quiet hands now moved into action. With one arm you surrounded Jimin's body, that hand went to her ass, while the other was dedicated to massaging her tits crushed against your chest.

"Don't be too hasty, cowboy," she smiled into the kiss, and now she moved on to using both of her hands to give you a slippery, deadly double handjob.

You moaned against her lips, and squeezed her ass and one of her tits harder. She was using all the strength of her wrists to drive you crazy with pleasure, and you certainly didn't last long before melting in her hands.

"I'm cu- oh fuck!" She didn't even give you time to warn her before you exploded. She pressed the tip of your cock against her sexy belly, while multiple thick jets of hot, thick cum began to paint her milky skin.

"Shit, a heavy load to start with huh?" She smiled, not stopping moving her hands for a single second while you still shot cum against her abdomen. It was a painful overstimulation that made you squirm between moans, but it didn't bother you at all.

"F-f-fuck! Stop!" you screeched just as the overstimulation became unbearable. She stopped immediately with a giggle.

"Look how you left my abdomen, you liked that didn't you?" She took a small step back to let you see her belly full of cum, which slid down her skin to her thighs and her crotch.

"Let's go outside right now," you said with heavy breathing.

"I don't think that's possible if you keep looking like a snowman," she laughed, pointing to your still soapy body.

"Right."

You went under the waterfall and quickly removed all the soap from your body. Once finished you turned off the faucet and took Jimin by the hand to guide her out of the bathroom. You didn't even bother to dry off, which was quite irresponsible considering that the wooden floor was somewhat slippery and you could fall. Finally you came out onto the balcony, your bodies and hair dripping with water.

"Natural drying?" she giggled when the hot sun was over your heads.

"You could say that, yeah," you wrapped your arms around her still wet body, pressed it against yours and kissed her again.

Kissing her in that passionate and carefree way with the sea breeze hitting your bodies lit a small spark that you needed for the rest of the day. Of course neither of you moved from your spot while you were kissing for fear of slipping up and falling into the sea, but the groping didn't stop for a second. Your hands went from her back to her ass to massage her ass, and then to her front to grab her tits.

After almost a minute of just making out you separated from her lips and grabbed her waist to slowly take her towards the railing, you turned her around, and made her lean against it.

"Are you going to fuck me for all of Miami to see?" She asked, looking over her shoulder at you as she leaned on the banister.

"I'm going to eat your pussy and then I'm going to fuck you for all of Miami to see," you corrected, kneeling behind her.

You had already kissed her ass minutes ago, but when you had it in front of you, illuminated by the sunlight and shining thanks to the layer of water, you couldn't help but worship it again. More kisses on each buttock, this time combined with licks and subtle bites. Firm grabs and massages, and a small spank that she thanked with a squeal.

You spread her buttocks with your hands, seeing her pretty shaved pussy and her butthole, which was your first target when you dipped your face in there. Jimin had a little shock when she felt your tongue against her butthole.

"Hey, that's not my pussy," she gasped, arching her back and pushing her ass toward your face.

"Yeah, I know," you smiled, giving her ass a few long seconds of attention in which you sucked, licked, and used the tip of your tongue to tickle her entire body.

"I hope you're doing that knowing you have to fuck it later," she moaned. Her body was starting to dry out, faster than you imagined. Yours the same.

"Don't worry, I plan to do the grand slam with you."

After giving her butthole enough attention you moved on to what you were longing for. Without a second thought you planted your tongue flat against her wet slit, slowly licking up and down. You noticed Jimin's arms tense against the railing, she let out small moans that became louder as you used your mouth to eat her pussy from behind.

Her delicious pussy felt silky and perfect against your lips. You could have stayed all day with your face buried between her buttocks, which felt like two soft clouds pressed against your cheeks. You placed wet, passionate kisses between her folds, also using your tongue to slowly stimulate her clitoris. Your hands resting on her thighs served as support to sink further, almost suffocating you against her slit.

You squeezed her thighs and then moved back up to her buttocks to give the right one a subtle spank. Jimin moaned louder, and you doubled your efforts on her pussy. You were having a most satisfying feast on that exquisite piece of flesh, but you planned to take advantage of every second of that day to give her pleasure in every way possible. You stopped and stood up.

"Huh? Why are you stopping?"

"Shhh," you shushed her, bringing your hand to her pussy to rub your fingers between her folds and then take two of them inside her.

"Oh fuck!" She turned her face to look at you, and you crashed your lips against hers as you began to stretch her pussy with your fingers.

You took it patiently at first, and after a few seconds you put your wrist into full jog. Her moans were muffled against your lips, loud and constant. The palm of your hand slammed against her ass harder with each passing second, which led to her tits starting to sway slightly. You grabbed one of them with your free hand, pinching her nipple and massaging the spongy mound.

Jimin's pussy was soon stretched and slippery enough, so you added a third finger inside her pussy. That made her separate from your lips, to now moan at the top of her lungs towards the Miami sky. She took one of her hands off the railing and brought it to your cock, stroking it as much as her trembling body would let her. You gave her a path of kisses from shoulder to shoulder, then kissed the back of her neck, and then dove down to her neck to fill it with hickeys.

"Cum, Jiminie, come on," you whispered in her ear as you fucked her with your three fingers.

Obediently, Jimin reached her orgasm within seconds of giving her the command. She removed her hand from your cock and brought it to the railing again, holding onto it tightly as her body began to shudder between spasms. The moans reached a higher peak. At that moment you looked down and looked at the ships passing through the canal. Anyone looking up could see you, straining their eyes, yes, but they could. You didn't give a shit about that.

"Move away, I need to suck that cock," she said between labored breaths once her orgasm passed. You stepped back and gave her space to kneel in front of you.

She took your cock with one hand and started licking it all over, from behind, from the sides, the tip and finally your balls. A kiss and a light suck on your tip made you shiver. Jimin now peppered kisses along your entire throbbing shaft, focusing for a few seconds on your balls before moving back up and swirling her tongue around your tip.

Her lips wrapped around your first few inches. She applied gentle suction on your tip and used her tongue to lick part of the back of your cock. She then pushed her head further, until she took half of your meat inside her warm mouth. You moaned and made eye contact with her as she slowly pumped her head, her fingers gripping the base of your cock and her free hand gripping your thigh.

You loved slow and sensual blowjobs, and you certainly noticed how she was an expert at doing them. Her tongue felt incredible, she never left it still on a single head pump, and her lips had a firm grip around your cock. When she took more inches of your cock her mouth opened slightly, making completely intentional gagging sounds as she reached the bottom. The slow and passionate pumps continued, and in one of those Jimin held onto both of your thighs to bring every millimeter of your cock to disappear inside her mouth.

"That's what I'm talking about, Rina," you groaned in pleasure, throwing your head back for a few seconds as Jimin kept you deep in her throat.

She finally pulled out after a few seconds with a deep gasp of air and a thick trail of saliva connecting your tip to her lips.

"Fuck my face, and show no mercy," she ordered as she looked you in the eyes.

Without thinking twice you brought your left hand on top of her head and with the other you grabbed your cock. She opened her mouth with her tongue stuck out, and you guided your shaft into it to start pumping your hips right away. She had clearly told you to show no mercy, and you had no intention of breaking a direct order.

You grabbed a handful of her hair and started fucking her face at full speed. Your cock moved completely in and out of her mouth with each thrust, and it didn't take long for saliva to start spilling everywhere. Her face scrunched up at the force you exert with each movement. Your balls were slapping against her chin, and she started moaning around your cock to make it more pleasurable.

No more than twenty seconds passed when you brought Jimin's nose back to your pubes, making her choke and cough against your cock, which was deep in her throat. You waited a few seconds until you took out your cock and let her breathe, but you felt feral at that moment, and without giving her a chance to rest you made her stand up so that she leaned against the banister again.

“Say hello to the boats again, honey,” that was the last thing you said in Jimin's ear before taking your cock and bringing it between her ass cheeks. You found her pussy and rubbed yourself against it a few times, and without further foreplay you impaled yourself deep inside it.

"Fuck!!" she squealed, clinging to the cold metal of the banister, feeling you completely inside her warm pussy.

You rested her hands on her waist, and after getting a good hold of your fingers on her flesh you began to pump your hips slowly, letting her pussy stretch around your cock and get used to it. Your shaft was filled with Jimin's saliva, so in a matter of seconds it no longer felt any friction. You had completely free rein to hammer her pussy.

You began to increase her speed second by second, until you reached a point of no return where you rammed into her milky ass hard. Jimin's body began to shake front to back, and her tits began to bounce wildly for any sailor or tourist to see if they paid a little attention.

You removed your hands from her waist and brought both of them to her tits, you stopped their bouncing, you squeezed them tightly and held on to them while you panted in Jimin's ear. Your cock moving completely in and out of her silky pussy.

"You love that I'm fucking you up here, don't you?" You growled against her ear, "You love the chance of someone seeing your delicious tits bouncing while I fuck you hard."

"I-I didn't know you read minds," she managed to say between moans. You took one hand from her tits to her neck to wrap your fingers around it, you applied some pressure, but not too much.

"That leaves you like a... slut," you smiled as you said the word, and her pussy clenched around your cock, "an exhibitionist slut."

"Shut the fuck up and cum inside me, fuck!!" Her screams filled your ears and gave you the urge to fuck her harder.

You stood up straight and gave her ass a dry, spicy spank. Her butt bounced like jelly, and you repeated the same with the other one. With both buttocks now red from your spanks you reached a hand to her hair, grabbed a handful and pulled it hard back. Jimin grunted in pleasure, her back arched and her head now completely thrown back.

Your grip point now was only her long black hair, which you held onto with both hands as if it were the reins of a horse. You were sure it made her scalp burn, but she seemed to enjoy it, especially since you were pounding her pussy so hard that each thrust took a breath out of her. It didn't take you long to find a sensitive spot to hit on her, but to do so you had to raise her knee over her railing. Quite dangerously, but also quite hot.

In that position Jimin soon gave in to the pleasure and came. She pushed her ass back and fucked herself against your cock, erratically but hard. You let go of her hair and grabbed her now by her neck, with both hands and with your fingers tightly held while she herself brought you to your point of ecstasy. When you felt the first drop of your cum come out of your cock, you grabbed her waist and made her stop so she could feel how you drained into her.

"Take that damn load, you little slut," you growled, and moved your hips slowly back and forth as you shot hot cum into her pussy.

"Oh fuuuuuuuck," she groaned too, "it feels so hot and thick inside me," she moaned and looked at you over her shoulder. You leaned forward and kissed her between gasps for a few long seconds.

"As much as I love fucking you with the open sea in the background, we can't stay here," you said against her lips, "we're being too reckless already."

"There's a jacuzzi inside..." she smiled and looked you in the eyes. You didn't even have to respond to her to let her know you were totally in for it.

You pulled out of her pussy and your cum spilled out in thick drops onto the wooden boards, you and her looked at the small pool of cum you had left, and you didn't care in the least about cleaning it up when you got into the suite.

"Where is that thing supposed to be? I haven't gone into all the rooms," you said as you walked behind her.

"I didn't find it at first either, but this morning I did a little detailed tour while you were sleeping," you passed the master bedroom, two bathrooms and a second bedroom before reaching the door where she stopped. She opened the door wide open, letting you see a magnificent relaxation room where the jacuzzi was, "Vualá"

It was a beautiful room filled with natural light from the large window behind the rectangular bathtub, covered by blinds that were open to let in the sun's rays. The jacuzzi in question was on top of a slope, where there were also four artificial bamboo plants decorating each corner.

"Damn, at some point I'm going to ask Noze how much that suite cost," you let out a stunned whistle, taking a few steps forward. Under your feet were four tatami tiles.

"I don't think you want to know, it would give you a heart attack," she walked past you, caressing your shoulder, and walked up the small slope to sit on the thick edge of the hot tub.

"Is it one of those smart bathtubs?" You said, going up with her to the slope.

"Oh yeah, the remote control must be over here," she turned and grabbed the small remote behind her, "hot water?"

"Enough to not roast us, yeah," you nodded, walking around the tub and running your hand along the marble edge as Jimin pressed buttons and you heard subtle beeps.

"Aight, 34 celsius and minimal vibration," she finally stood up, left the remote control on the edge and climbed into the bathtub. You get in with her, sitting at the other end. Your legs intertwined.

"Well? Are we here to chat or what?" you asked, clearly knowing the answer.

"Of course not," she gave you a sly smile and bit her lip, "just close your eyes and relax," she said as she closed her eyes and leaned her head on the edge of the tub.

You did so, imitating her posture and leaving your arms loose. The water temperature was starting to rise and get hot, and the massage panels on the walls of the tub were starting to do wonders for your back and buttocks. For a few minutes the only thing between the two of you was silence and the vibrations of the bathtub. But you soon felt something on your cock underwater, it was Jimin's toes.

"Hmm… I didn't know this bathtub had that function," you murmured with your eyes still closed.

You didn't receive any response from Jimin. She brought her foot further, caressing your balls with her fingers and then using her entire sole to rub you slowly. Your cock grew hard under the water, and she now brought her foot to your tip to rub it in circles with her toes. A moan escaped you as she rubbed the back of your shaft up and down, her sole feeling silky.

"That feature has a plus," you heard her say also quietly, and with that you felt another foot on your cock. She wrapped her feet around your shaft, specifically her toes, and started moving them up and down.

"Rina... oh god," you gasped, refusing to open your eyes and ruin that moment of esoteric relaxation.

Fueled by your moans of pleasure, she continued moving her feet up and down with your cock in the middle, giving you perhaps the best footjob you had ever received in your entire life. You didn't want to leave your hands still at a moment like this, so you took them to the part of her body that was closest to you, her legs. You caressed them as much as you could without stretching too much, running your fingertips over her calves and her knees.

After a few seconds, Jimin increased the speed, putting pressure on your shaft with her toe and occasionally rubbing your balls with one of her feet. Your moans started to get louder. She was doing wonders underwater, you didn't expect such skillful control of her feet, but maybe after that experience on the plane with her you should have expected it.

"Tell me... do you want to be between my tits and cum all over my face?" Despite having her in front of you, her voice sounded distant and magical, like a mermaid about to pull a sailor to the bottom of the ocean. Only this mermaid had feet, and they were stroking your cock up and down.

"God, yeah," you nodded between gasps. If she had been a real mermaid you were more than dead, you fool.

"Then open your eyes and sit up," her tone of voice remained low, not wanting to break the aura of false tranquility.

You opened your eyes, finding a deep, beautiful, lust-filled gaze fixed on you. You didn't want to keep the damn mermaid waiting, so you stood up in the bathtub and sat on the edge of it. The feeling of the cold marble against your ass was somewhat unpleasant, but it was made up for by watching Jimin crawl towards you and emerge from the water to kneel between your legs.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Yoo Jimin," was the only thing you could think to say as she placed both hands on your knees and stared at you.

"So much that you want to fill one of the most beautiful faces in Korea with your cum?" She asked in a husky, sultry voice, her hands running up and down your thighs. You could only see her eyes and her tits.

"Yes, that beautiful," you nodded with heavy breathing.

Jimin moved further between your legs and lifted her chest, taking your cock in one hand and placing it between her heavy tits, which she wrapped around your shaft making an incredible meat sandwich. With her tits now firmly held on either side of her she began to move up and down, making your cock disappear between her tits with each movement.

"Do you like it this slow?" she asked, and you closed your eyes again. Your hands resting on the outside edge behind you, "or do you want me to go faster..."

"Do as you please with me at this point," you gasped.

"Another good answer," you heard a subtle mischievous giggle as she moved slower now. At that speed you felt the softness and fluffiness of her tits in the best way. Two clouds of cotton around your cock, moving up and down.

Jimin gave your cock a thick spit, which served as lubrication now that she was gradually increasing the pace. She was also incredibly good at it, which didn't surprise you at all considering the blatant competitive spirit that girl had. She was completely determined to show you that she was the best at everything, and she certainly wasn't far from that goal.

Within a few seconds those soft and beautiful tits were moving at full speed around your cock, well lubricated by Jimin's saliva and at the same time warm from the hot bath you just had. One reason you had your eyes closed was so you wouldn't admire the lewd scene and cum too quickly, but at that point you didn't care anymore.

She was still looking completely fixed on you, as if she was delighting in your grimaces or the way you moaned. Watching your cock appear and disappear between her tits was an added bonus of pleasure, and it drove your brain completely crazy. Taking advantage of the fact that you were looking at her, she bit her lip in a sexy way, spitting between your tits again so that they would not stop being slippery for you.

"Fuck Rina... I'm so close," you announced with your mouth slightly open, your breathing becoming more labored.

"Paint my perfect face, baby..." she asked with a moan, "fill it with that hot load."

Her words and her constant pumping up and down were enough to push you over the edge again. With a loud moan to the ceiling of the room you began to shoot jets of cum that hit Jimin's face directly, while the remnant fell to her tits and slid down her body.

"Fuck fuck fuck!!" you growled, still letting out weaker streams. She slowed down, and when she raised her face, it was all painted white, from her forehead, her cheeks and nose to her mouth and chin.

"So delicious..." she gasped and moved her cum filled tits away from your cock, "I knew the protein for breakfast was going to help," your cum served as an appetizer for her as she wiped it off her face. with her fingers and brought it all to her mouth.

"I need to fuck you really fucking hard, Yoo Jimin," you said between pants, as you looked into her eyes.

"Let's go outside then, pretty boy," she cupped her hands together in the water and used it to wipe the goo off her face. Once her face was clean she stood up and got out of the bathtub to turn it off. You followed her.

On the floor next to the bathtub were some towels stacked on top of each other. This time you did dry yourself as best you could, and did not leave the room until your entire body was free of moisture. Jimin led you through the hallways and stopped at the suite space that served as the general dining room. There was a wide table, with three chairs on the sides and two at each end. There was a table decoration that you had no idea what it was, but it looked like a literal feather mini circular  bed for who knows what. Above it, a large cylinder-shaped fabric hanging lamp.

"Here?" you asked, not opposing the idea either as you looked at the exit to the balcony to your left.

"Does it matter?"

"Not at all," you shook your head, and wrapped an arm around Jimin's body to pull two chairs away from the nearest corner of the table. You also moved the table decoration aside, and with the empty space you lifted her onto it so she could sit up.

She spread her legs wide, and you stood between them so she could wrap them around your body. Jimin's arms caught your neck as well, pulling you in for a steamy kiss. 

During the kiss you no longer cared about skipping the teasing completely, so you brought one hand to one of her tits and the other between her legs, to rub your fingers between her folds continuously from top to bottom. Jimin returned the favor, latching onto your neck now with only one arm to grab your still slightly sensitive cock and rub it carefully knowing this.

Her pussy began to get wet again, you felt her folds become slippery around your fingers as you rubbed non-stop. Your cock returned to full hardness again, and she wasted no time in pulling away from your lips, spitting onto her hand, and bringing it to your shaft to lubricate it well. You played along, and in a matter of seconds you were inside her. You had already felt her soft pussy engulf you minutes ago, but she felt just as incredible as the first time.

"Give me everything you've got… don't you dare hold back," she moaned, leaning back to rest her hands behind her.

"Believe me, I wasn't planning on doing it, Rina," you buried your face in her long, attractive neck, and with your hands attached to her waist you began pumping quickly from the start.

Luckily the table was of excellent quality, otherwise it would have broken from how hard you and Jimin were shaking it. You filled her neck with kisses and slightly excessive bites, but neither she nor you cared about the damage you did to each other, you were so immersed in pleasure that you transformed the pain into something hot. You would soon confirm that.

Your hands went to her thighs to pull her legs back, pressing them closer to her body and keeping them wide open while you hammered her pussy without any control or care. Her tits bounced hypnotically in front of your eyes, and as a weak man that you were, you couldn't help but take them to your mouth to suck them and fill them with kisses. Jimin tangled the fingers of each of her hands in your hair, pressing your face closer to her breasts as she moaned loudly.

"Oh shit, fuck fuck fuck fuck!! Yes!!" she squealed as you slammed into her pussy at full speed. You separated yourself from her breasts to straighten your back and look at her.

"You like this way huh?" You growled, your jaw tensing as you watched her face distort with pleasure.

"Fuck yeah!! Yes!!" She opened her eyes, crystallized and weak, to look at you too, "slap me, choke me, treat me like a whore!!"

As soon as she said those words you gave her a hard slap on her right cheek. She squealed with pleasure and her pussy clenched around your cock. Another slap, this time with the back of your hand on her other cheek. Same reaction, only this time she stuck her tongue out, and you, upon catching her clear message, spit directly on it. Another slap on her cheek, and now you brought your hand to her neck to press it hard.

The agitation of the moment did not allow you to fully control the force with which you squeezed her neck, but judging by her face when you pressed, you were doing enough to stop her breathing. She grabbed onto your wrist with both hands, and she wrapped her legs around your body to fall back onto the table. You lost your grip on her neck, but she now wrapped her arms over yours, burying your face in her breasts as you fucked her with all your might.

"I'm gonna fucking cum Rina," you moaned against her bouncing tits, a bead of sweat sliding down your forehead and landing right on top of one of her nipples.

"Yes! Give my pussy another hot load, yes!!" she begged between desperate whimpers, and she didn't have to wait long before you exploded inside her.

Just as if your cum was the spark that the fuse inside her needed, as soon as she felt the first drop inside her she came with you. She shuddered like crazy, desperately searching for something to hold on to as she screamed with pleasure. You wrapped your arms around her body and pressed it against yours, breathing heavily against her tits, which crushed your nose and brushed against your mouth with every shudder of her body.

It took you both a few long seconds to recover from that intense discharge of energy, you were both lying on the table, one on top of the other with heavy breathing and without any words to say. When you felt somewhat composed you straightened your back and very slowly came out of her pretty pussy. The cum began to flow through her slit, and fell directly onto the table where another pool of white liquid began to form, which you wouldn't bother to clean up right now either.

"I still have energy left for one more round..." you said breathlessly, "and that ass hasn't been fucked yet."

"Let's do it," she said without thinking, "let's go to the bedroom."

You were gentlemanly with her, and knowing that her legs were probably weak you carried her in your arms to walk to the bedroom. Once inside her you released her onto the still unmade sheets.

"You brought...?"

"Lube? Yeah, it's in my handbag," she told you while lying on the bed.

"Why there?"

"Because no one ever checks it. Come on, look for it."

You found Jimin's handbag next to her suitcase, when you opened it you searched a little until you found the small tube.

"Astroglide Ultra Gentle Gel Lube," you read aloud, her cheeks flushing, "how specific."

"I told you not to judge me."

"I don't, I just find the name funny," you smiled, climbing into bed with her and giving her a peck on the forehead and a peck on her lips. She smiled, looked at your semi-flaccid cock and stretched out one leg to touch it with her foot.

"A few minutes ago this made you rock hard... will it work again?" She asked, using her foot to rub your cock and slowly make it hard again, "You love my feet huh?" She teased, and with a giggle she turned around to position herself on her hands and knees, spread wide and her ass perfectly arched for you.

"The truth is that you have a special way of making me hard with anything you do, Yoo Jimin," you said, kneeling behind her, "do you want me to go slow this time?"

"Are you kidding?" She looked over her shoulder at you with a challenging look, "Destroy my ass like your life depends on it."

"I just wanted to make sure."

You opened the small tube of lube and began to pour it onto her buttocks, you didn't skimp on the quantity, you made sure that her ass was as slippery and shiny as possible. Then you moved on to her butthole, where you took two fingers full of lubricant inside her to stretch as many centimeters as possible before the main attraction. It was evident that her butthole was not virgin, but you were still always careful.

"Mmmgh, fuck," she moaned softly, feeling your two slippery fingers go in and out of her already prepared butthole.

You took out your fingers, and now poured a significant amount of lubricant on your cock, which like her ass, was perfectly slippery and shiny to reflect the sunlight coming from the balcony. Without anything else to do you took your cock in one hand and guided it to her butthole. Jimin looked at you over her shoulder, eyebrows furrowed and biting her lip. You pressed your tip against her rim, and began to slowly push forward. Surprisingly, her butthole engulfed too easily every inch of your cock halfway.

"What the fuck Rina," you gasped, "how often do you take things up your ass?"

"Aeri and I are playmates sometimes, we love playing with our asses," she admitted with an evil smile and then moaned at the imminent arrival of your cock deep in her butthole.

"I wish you could see this... fuck," you moaned, "my cock completely disappeared inside that beautiful ass," you gave her a hard spank, which slipped thanks to the lube.

"Take a picture," she said, reaching under the pillow she had slept on for her phone to hand it to you. You quickly took a few photos from different angles. Then you locked the phone and tossed it aside.

"I'm not Aeri, but I hope I can do it half as well," you said with a sly smile, and the show started again.

You didn't feel it necessary to go too slow at first, and you certainly didn't feel it necessary to go slow at all. Jimin took every inch of your cock into her butthole as if it were her pussy, giving you free rein to go as crazy as you wanted. You also wanted to have some fun, and just like she had done in the jacuzzi, you fucked her slowly on purpose.

"Fffffffuckkk," she moaned, loving how your cock was moving completely in and out of her tight butthole, "you're a bastard for going so slow on purpose, but it feels so fucking good anyway," she admitted, clutching the blanket under her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," you said, and soon made a drastic change of pace.

Her ass was now bouncing against your pelvis hard, producing a loud clapping sound with each powerful thrust you made. As the seconds passed these sounds became louder and faster, as did the squeals of pleasure coming from Jimin.

"Oh god!!" She moaned, "Yes baby... just like that, fuck that ass, it belongs only to you, fuck!!"

More spankings to her milky, soft ass, which served no purpose other than watching it bounce in hypnotic waves. You brought your hands to her hips, holding on tightly to them as you thrust as hard as you could. At that point your lower body was completely destroyed and short of energy, but you could allow yourself that last inhuman effort.

Remembering her words while you were in the dining room, you grabbed a handful of her hair again with your right hand and pulled it back. Jimin screeched, her head now thrown back and her chest slightly separated from the bed. You used that fistful of hair, which you tangled around your hand and the top of your wrist, as a leverage point to ravage her butthole between frantic thrusts.

With your free hand you grabbed her slippery ass and also her bouncy tits, but finally you left it on her waist. You felt like you were pulling her hair too hard, but again she didn't seem to mind in the slightest. She was being so destroyed and fucked so well in her ass that even the words were forgotten.

Hard incessant thrusts, back and forth, every inch of throbbing flesh going in and out of one of the best asses you had ever had the joy of fucking. Her ass bounced so hard against your pelvis that even that bed sounded like a cheap, flimsy bed. Jimin's moans, so loud and constant that you feared Noze would receive a complaint from the residents downstairs—if there were any.

Another long seconds filled with moans, grunts and loud sounds of flesh hitting flesh were enough for Jimin to have one last intense orgasm. This time you didn't let her take control at all. You let go of her hair, and placed a hand on the back of her neck to push her face into the mattress to assert your dominance. Even though she was screaming like crazy into the blanket you didn't stop fucking her ass until you felt close to orgasm as well.

By the time you felt the tickling in your lower abdomen, Jimin's orgasm had already dissipated. You quickly pulled your cock out of her ass and began to stroke it quickly, aiming for her back, which soon began to fill with cum. You felt your whole soul escape from your body in that load, which fell along her entire back and left her skin stained white.

"Mother of fucking god," you gasped already exhausted once you shot all that was left in your balls at the moment.

"Why didn't you cum inside?" she asked, almost as exhausted as you. Her eyes were closed and the side of her face was crushed against the mattress.

"I'm sorry, I had and needed to see that back full of cum," you swallowed thickly and sat on the bed.

"Take another photo then... and send them all to your chat," you didn't hesitate for a second to pick up her phone to take new photos and send them to yourself.

"Can we sleep for a couple of hours? I feel beat up right now," you sighed.

"Yeah, but find something to clean me up, dork," she said with a tone you couldn't help but associate with Noze. Then you also realized that you hadn't stopped thinking about Noze all day. God knows why.

----------------------------------

Once you helped Jimin clean up, you slept for two hours and woke up with your stomach growling. You ordered lunch, and after proper digestion and a good rest you resumed the lascivious activities. You fucked in every corner of that damned suite—you didn't go back to the balcony—, in every way, position and mood possible. The whole day went by like this until when you least knew it, it was 11 at night.

"You know? Uh... I wanted to apologize to you," she said as you lay on the bed, which was a mess. She was cuddled against the side of your body while you smoked a more than necessary cigarette. You had opened the balcony door to let the smoke out.

"Why?" You took a drag on the cigarette, held the smoke for a few seconds, and then released it into the air.

"For what I said on the plane, I didn't really need to bring in Itzy's girls," she took the cigarette from your hand and took a drag, then leaned over you and tapped it to loosen the ash in the ashtray. She blew smoke upwards as well, "As a leader I sometimes feel like I have to play a role in front of the other members. You know, not showing weakness and shit."

"You have nothing to apologize for," you took the cigarette back from her, "You have friends to feel vulnerable in front of, and I'm one of them," she smiled.

"Damn, thank you for all the time you spent with me, seriously," she gave you a peck on the cheek, "I'd love to hang out with you more often, you know, without the porn movie part," you laughed.

"Well, anytime you want to drink a beer and play games I'm a text message away," you smiled and took another drag on the cigarette.

"I'd like that, yeah," she agreed with an adorable smile.

"Besides, you're better than any bro I've ever had. I can fuck you any way I want, whenever I want," you laughed and took one last drag on the cigarette before putting it out and leaving it in the ashtray.

"God, you're so stupid," she laughed and leaned her face against your chest, "Hey, we better sleep now... tomorrow we have to go back to harsh reality."

"Unfortunately," you sighed.

You stood up, went to close the balcony door, turned on the air conditioning and got under the blankets with Jimin. Below them, your two naked bodies were in a warm embrace that you maintained until the moment you fell asleep.

[multific]

A Thousand Years

Astarion x Reader

Summary: Astarion tells a story of love.

"Tell me about your wife." said the man sitting in front of Astarion, the room was quiet around them, only the crackling of the fire could be heard.

Upon hearing the word, wife, Astarion's features softened. 

"It might be a long one."

"I want to hear it." insisted the man as he leaned back in his chair, waiting for Astarion to start.

Astarion smiled, his eyes filled with love as he began.

"My wife... My beloved Y/N. She saved me you know, in more ways than one. She not only helped me kill the man who caused me so much pain and suffering, but she saved me from myself.

My beloved was a strong woman, brave and incredibly beautiful. She was a kind soul and yet, she could kill a thousand men without taking a break.

She loved songs and loved to dance. Although that might be because I was the one dancing with her. She often said she didn't wish to dance with anyone else but me.

She enjoyed sweets. But only the ones I have given her.

And even if I told her not, she kept on eating them.

It has been so long yet, I will never forget her laugh. She became my world. You know, it wasn't even intentional, I fell in love by accident. I was only meant to seduce her so she would help me kill Cazador. And yet I found myself in love.

But make no mistake, I never regretted the feelings I have. Not once. Falling in love with her was so easy.

I am quite privileged to be able to tell that she was my wife.

My... scars on my back, she cried when she first saw them. She hugged me and told me how sorry she was for I had to endure such pain. She kissed me and cried at the same time. I was so confused by it, I didn't know what to do.

But then, not long after, I asked her to marry me." Astarion looked at the gold band on his finger.

"I never believed in marriage, I thought it was silly for people to bind themselves to one another, and the symbol of it all... a simple ring. I laughed at the idea until I met the person I never wanted to let go of again. Suddenly I wanted nothing more but to have her bonded to me and for me to be bonded to her. I looked and searched for the perfect rings. Matching ones, but hers had a simple stone in the middle. A stone which was made of our blood. The perfect diamond, mixed with my and her blood. And then, we were married. Not like the words of others mattered to me, I would have been happy just to have her in my life, but to have her as my wife... it meant everything. 

I will not bore you of the events directly after the wedding, leave it up for your imagination I suppose, but I can assure you, she was the first woman who could have me at her feet with a simple look.

And she always looked at me with so much love and care. She was always so gentle and lovely.

When people say love burns like fire, they lie, my love for her burns like lava, much like the core of the Earth. I was ready to destroy everything and everyone who would dare get between us. If I had to, I would have burnt down villages for her, for she was mine.

And not long after, she gave me the greatest gift. 

A gift so precious.

I will never forget the look on her face when she told me, pure happiness.

She was with child.

Something I never even thought would be possible for me and yet there she was, getting more and more round with my child, with my son. Our son.

She was the sun for me. I have lived a long life in darkness and pain, and she made it all go away with a simple simple. I had a life of happiness thanks to her." Astarion leaned back in his chair once more when the noises from the kitchen stopped.

"STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD!"

"I have never used the word 'dead', My Love." Astarion turned to look at you as you exited the kitchen.

"But you made it sound like I am." you pouted as Astarion looked at the ring on your finger, he smiled as you placed the food on the table. "Don't listen to him, Love, he is but an old romantic." you said as you sat down.

"I am very much aware, Mother. I just like to listen to him talk about you." admitted your son as he smiled at the two of you. Now a grown man, yet all you could see was him as a little boy running around the house, hair silver like his father's but eyes the same as yours.

"That's because I love your mother very much."

"I love you too." you replied as you all finally began to eat.

You two loved each other for a thousand years, and you will continue to love for another thousand to come.

Your son could only hope to find such love.

Taglist: @fleursirvart@greenarrowhead @thisismysecrethappyplace@sincerelyfan@theoneanna@aestheticsandmarvel@rororo06@castellandiangelo@destynelseclipsa@spilledinkindumpster@capsiclesdoll@puknow@alwayshave-faith@alex12948@lxdyred@imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl@anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek@praline357 @trshngyn@avengers-r-us @violet-19999 @top1bbgloak @manduse@jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie@noname2246

In case you want to help out a dreamer: patreon.com/multific  

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS  

[retrobutterflies]

Little Dragon | t.n.

Theodore Nott x Female!Reader

Summary: You are not a fan of one of his admirers and he thinks you are a pretty idiot.

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: Jealousy, Fluff, mentions of snow lol, a hint suggestive at the end if you squint

A/N: I haven't written in a while. This is just a fun little thing, an hors d'œuvre if you will.

Abigail was nothing if not brazen. It had taken you years to be comfortable in the presence of Slytherin's most exclusive group. For a while you didn't even realize Pansy Parkinson had considered you anything more than a suitemate let alone a friend until she hexed Lacy Cressilda for calling you bitch. And Draco Malfoy barely dignified you with anything more than a smirk until one night he was trashed out of his mind and proclaimed that he would help you hide a body should you ever need. You assured him you wouldn't.

It was only by 6th year did you feel fully welcomed into the friend group. Now instead of getting wary glances when you sat with them at dinner, you were getting indignant glances when you joined other friends of yours for a change of pace.

But seeing Abigail seat herself comfortably between Draco and Theo, smiling easily and joining into the conversation seamlessly made you falter. Abigail Thorn had never really interacted with your friends. Though she was a sixth year Slytherin, her group of friends never really crossed paths with yours. At least, not until last term when Abigail started sitting closer by in the great hall, tugging along unwilling friends, or switching seats with annoyed Hufflepuffs to sit next to one of you in Potions. And now, relaxing in the common room when mostly everyone else had slinked up to bed, she had found her way into the conversation, her friends long since retired. 

You watched her from your seat on the opposing couch. The fireplace was dousing the room in a dancing orange glow, illuminating smiling faces and slouched forms. Someone had tossed a cinnamon stick directly onto the firewood so the room smelled of autumn spices and smoke. Mattheo made a crude joke from his spot laying on the green-woven rug on the floor in front of the hearth and Abigail let out a laugh, leaned forward, and rested her hand on Theo's knee.

A swirling green monster crawled up your throat and wrapped its tendrils around your neck. Your eyes zeroed in on her hand, fingers flexing on the dark material of his pants, and imagined shooting out a nasty stinging hex. You glanced up to see Theo's dark eyes swoop down to the hand on his leg. He eye'ed it, eye'ed her, then slowly, delicately in the soft-quiet way he does most things, moved her hand back to her lap. You wanted to feel pleased at that action, pleased that he didn't want her touching him but she moved again, her lips moving around words you weren't paying attention to as your eyes stared at her hand creeping through his arm to lock it with hers. And then with a smile, she rested her cheek on the curve of his shoulder.

You felt like you were on fire. Heat flared up your spine, flushing your cheeks and the back of your neck. The forest-green turtle neck you were wearing was suddenly choking you and you felt like if you didn't get up in that very moment then you would self-destruct.

"I'm going to the bathroom," you muttered softly to Pansy who gave you a nod while keeping her attention on one of Mattheo's long-winded stories.

You headed straight for the common room door. It was after curfew but you didn't care if one of the prefects saw you walking around. You just needed fresh air. You needed to freeze out all the raging fire in your lungs, squash it into a piteous puff of smoke. You shot out of the nearest door and found yourself in one of the stone courtyards. The ground was blanketed in a sweep of fresh snow clear and untouched. A few stray snowflakes fluttered in the air, glittering in the firelight of scattered torches, replacing the lack of stars in the dark milky sky. You took a deep breath and welcomed the icy air that cut through your chest. It sizzled your anger until only a pile of ashy shame was left.

Theodore Nott was no one to you but a friend. You had no possessive claim to him like your body seemed to think. He could touch whoever he wanted, be touched by whoever he wanted. And you had no right to get so upset at the thought. But you were. You hated even the briefest moment seeing him with another girl. If the thought of him linking arms with a girl was enough to make you want to hex her you could only imagine the nightmare you'd be when he actually got a girlfriend.

You felt like you could be sick. You took another deep breath and then another. Closing your eyes and crossing your arms over your chest as if to shut out all of your buzzing thoughts. A swirl of wind sent a dusting of snow across your stocking-clad legs, your skirt giving you little protection but you welcomed it, hoped it would help distract you so that when you found the courage to go back inside you were less of a raging psychopath.

"Are you alright?"

His voice cut through the still of the night and sent a shock down your back. Your eyes shot open and you turned to see Theo slowly walking up to you, hands in his pockets, shiny leather shoes crunching on compact snow.

"Yeah. Fine. Just–" you breathed out slightly, hot air puffing into the cold night, arms tightening across your sternum, "hot."

His eyes were dark and gleaming under the night sky. You couldn't help but squirm whenever they stayed on you for too long as if your body physically couldn't handle their intensity. They trailed down your crossed arms, over your fluttering green-plaid skirt, and down your legs, goosebumps barely concealed through the sheer tights. Then his eyes, dark and deep and heavy, found yours again.

"You look cold," he concluded.

"I'm– Well, now . . . yes," you stumbled on your words and hoped that he thought the pink creeping across your cheeks was because of the frigid air and not your scrambled nerves, "but it's . . . good."

You wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

"It's good?" He echoed, eyebrows raising and smirk pulling up the corners of his lips. "You're shaking."

You didn't notice until he said it but you did feel a tremble in your body.

"I like it," you replied. Half true, half lie. You liked it enough to distract you but your legs were starting to feel numb and your teeth were starting to thrum together in a quiet symphony.

"You like it," he echoed again and you knew he could smell your fibs like food. Theo was a bloodhound for lies.

"I just–," your eyes flickered to his and then back to the courtyard when you couldn't hold his stare any longer, "–needed some air."

You heard him step closer, snow crunching underneath his footsteps. He was quiet for a few moments, looking out at the empty courtyard with you, watching the snow flurries and taking in the icy air.

"You're angry," he stated, breaking up the quiet. His voice was soft and low but it sent a shockwave down your spine.

"I'm not," you deflected before you could think. You could feel his gaze fall to the side of your face but knew if you met those keen eyes your facade would crack and splinter.

"You are," he assured. You wanted to argue, spit back a retort and stroke the burning anger that apparently you weren't hiding well enough.

"And how would you know that?" You replied, words as tight as the arms crossed over your chest.

"Because you're brooding," he said and you felt yourself bristle. This time your eyes met his and you frowned, narrowing them at his crinkling in the corners as his smile tugged up.

"I'm not," you tried to think of something to defend yourself, or something clever so his attention would be diverted, but all you could settle on was, "I do not brood."

"No?" He let out a hum, hand reaching into the depths of his pocket to pull out a beat-up pack of cigarettes. He slid one out, tapping it seemingly unconsciously against the side of the cardboard as he picked through the thoughts in his head. You watched as his thumb and pointer finger pinched the rim and ignited a small flame enough for it to start smoking. You'd seen him do it before but felt just as breathless seeing it again, Theo and his wand-less tricks.

His eyes flickered up to meet yours again and your heart felt like it was getting vacuumed into your stomach at their heaviness, at their weight. His eyes, dark and shining, enticing enough that they seemed to weave their own spells. You felt rooted to the spot, powerless to tear your gaze away. He brought the cigarette up to his lips, inhaling, holding the breath, then exhaling a swirling cloud of smoke into the night, his eyes keeping yours captive.

"If I look hard enough I might be able to see smoke coming out of your ears," he commented. His smirk grew at your flushed cheeks.

Finally, finally you were able to rip your eyes away, glaring at one of the weeping angel statues of the fountain nestled in the middle of the courtyard. You were silent, pushing through scrambled thoughts, trying to find a placating excuse. Enough so that he wouldn't make you admit how pathetic you were being.

"Come on, my little dragon. Tell me what's wrong and I'll make it better," he drawled, taking another inhale of his cigarette.

Your insides burned at the nick-name.

"Is–" You bit the inside of your cheek, debating, deciding, before relenting, eyes shutting tight as you forced the next few words out of your mouth, "Are you and Abigail close?"

He was quiet for a moment. You counted to ten, then ten again before daring to open your eyes and cast a wary look at him. All teasing amusement was gone.

"Abigail?" He finally said. He looked surprised, brows tugging in at the center of his face like he was trying to decipher a riddle. "I hardly know her."

The words stroked your blazing core, calming it slightly. You mulled them over in your mind but stabbing images of her arm in his, her hand on his knee had the inner flame in your chest roaring. Theo was watching you carefully, as if only now seeing your real ire.

"Right," you muttered, feeling guilt and jealously and anger and shame weave together in your gut.

"Did she," he took a careful step closer so you could smell the aroma of his cigarette intertwining with his cologne that hung on him like shadows. Dark and woodsy and spiced. "Did she say something to you?"

His tone was soft but you could hear the twinge of sharpness. The silent assurance that if she had he would be stalking off to her in retaliation. And though the thought of lying and releasing Theo's acid anger on her pleased you, you knew it wouldn't be fair. Realistically, she had been nothing but kind to you. If only she had been unpleasant. Then you'd at least feel less guilty turning Theo against her.

But you weren't that evil. At least not tonight.

"No," you admitted, keeping your hard glare facing the dark sky. He waited for you to continue, to give voice to the cacophony of thoughts he could see buzzing behind your stormy eyes. You debated waiting him out, testing his patience until he sighed and relented and decided he was going back inside. But if you were a master of the long game, Theo was the creator.

"She was just . . . being very friendly towards you. And I wasn't sure–I didn't know if you knew her like that–" you let out a frustrated huff, welcoming the icy sting of the winter air as you sucked in another breath, "I just think that if, maybe, you got a girlfriend or something you'd tell us or something or–" you huffed again, "Or you'd warn me–Us. I mean–" you cut yourself off.

"Girlfriend?" He seemed well and truly shocked now. He let out a chocked laugh, staring at you with wide eyes. "You think she's my girlfriend?"

You felt like a fool. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment and you wanted to launch yourself off the edge of the courtyard and swan dive into the depths of the Black Lake, never to be heard from again.

"She was all over you. She was laying on you–" you bristled again, invisible wings flaring. You met his gaze and glared at him but he only laughed again, a rich smooth laugh that had your nerves zapping your insides.

"You're jealous," he finally said, eyes bright and blazing as he regarded you.

"I'm–" you couldn't even bring yourself to deny it. You had said far too much. You should've stalked off to the bathroom like you had said. Then maybe you could've drowned yourself in the toilet instead of being here, facing up to this.

"You're an idiot." His words felt like a slap. You opened your mouth to respond with an equally cutting remark but he spoke first.

"Her? Really? You're daft. And blind," he took a step closer until the tip of his leather shoe nudged your own and you had to crane your neck up to glare at him, "And–"

"If you keep insulting me I'm going to hex you," you threatened.

He reached out a hand and cupped the back of your neck. His fingers pressed into the skin, circling and massaging the muscle until you felt yourself deflate.

"Aren't you supposed to be smart? How could you possibly think it would be her?" He was so close now that every breath smelled of him and his cologne.

"Theo," your voice turned pleading.

His hand moved slowly from your neck up to the back of your head, fingers weaving into the silky strands.

"This has to be a cruel game that you're playing," he murmured, face inching ever closer. His eyes were piercing yours and you felt helpless to move, helpless to even speak. "You have to know what I feel for you."

Your lungs felt like they had been filled with ice. Your mouth opened but no words came out. He was so close to you and his eyes were suffocating you and you felt like you might well and truly burn up from the inside out.

His free hand, cigarette lost to the frozen ground, curved around the plush of your cheek. His thumb swiped the velvet skin under your eye and you didn't think you were breathing anymore.

"I only want your skin to touch mine," he finally said. His voice was so low, so soft, it caressed your burning cheeks. Your hands, numb from the cold, found their way to his chest, clutching at the wool of his dark sweater. He hummed in satisfaction.

"Only you are allowed to touch me," he breathed, eyes skimming your face, darting between your eyes. "Understand?"

You nodded mutely and he hummed again. Then his lips were touching yours. Warm and velvet lips caressing your own frost kissed ones. He exhaled into the kiss, his breath tickling your face. Your hands clutched at him, tugging him ever closer as you sunk into the kiss. Your body melted, relaxing into him, a rush of relief soaking down your spine and extinguishing the flames that had been coiling up your back. His kisses turned deeper, more desperate. His teeth nipped at your bottom lip then his lips soothed the sting. The hand at your cheek pulled away and you were close to whining before he was wrapping it around your waist, hoisting you higher, closer, chests pressing together so he could deepen his kisses and steal the air from your burning lungs.

It was a while before he pulled away. He admired your flushed cheeks and starry eyes that blinked up at him. His fingers woven in your hair tightened, gripping. You couldn't ignore the flash of pleasure that erupted in your stomach.

"Next time you decide to have a tantrum, at least come get me first," he murmured, words rumbling through kiss-bitten lips. You would've glared if you could think straight. But your mind was hazy and your lips were tingling and all you could think about was kissing him again.

[harlowhockeystick]

OOOH EXCITING!

Can I please have “you’re giving me those fuck me eyes again” for Travis Kelce please??? <3

contains: fem!reader, established relationship, cuss words, 18+ ONLY MINORS DNI | travis kelce x reader

travis gives me major extrovert x introvert vibes.

travis loved these events. as a classic extrovert, he got to do his thing and talk to anyone and everyone, striking up conversations about anything and everything. he loved talking to guys he hadn't seen in a while, friends across the league, it was always a good evening when he got to catch up.

on the other hand, you couldn't wait to get home soon enough. all you wanted to do was be there for travis, take the pretty pictures, and go home. nothing more and nothing less. you didn't enjoy being in a scene with new people coming up to you, asking a bunch of senseless questions, but alas, travis had some marketing to do.

but, you always knew a way out of these situations.

catching his eye from across the room you made your intentions very clear. you sat in such a way that made your chest stick out a bit further, the neckline of your dress just daring to expose you in front of all these people. he almost wants you to, but he pushes that thought out. not in front of all these cameras.

making eye contact, your eyes with his icy blue ones, you give him a long look up and down. you undress him with your eyes, having an exact picture in your mind of his naked chest above yours, of that face, that grin he makes right when he slides inside you and sits there for a second before he begins to bruise your hips just a little more than the night before.

he knows what you're doing, and he's a sucker for it every fucking time. he excuses himself out of the conversation and he keeps his eye contact with you as he makes his way toward your table, empty table thank god. he weaves his way in and out of the people and sits down next to you.

"you're giving me those fuck me eyes again, babygirl." he puts a hand on your thigh dangerously close to your core. you feel his fingers grip your soft muscle, rubbing against your soft skin lightly.

"mmm, that's cause i know it works," you hummed, leaning over and placing a light kiss to his cheek, careful to not get too much lip gloss on his skin. "you know i don't like these things trav."

"i know, i just gotta go up, make the speech and then we'll bounce, 'kay?" you sighed nodding your head. "believe me i'd much rather be at home with you, taking that dress off of you and getting on my knees for you."

you took a sharp inhale, "oh trav," you sighed out, "with the way you look i wanna be on my knees for you tonight." you took his hand off your thigh and brought it up to your lips for a kiss, "all night."

his mouth dropped open a little bit. the lights dimmed and soon it was time for travis to go up and make his speech, "hurry up so i can go suck you off in the car."

[kaciebello]

Us before you and me

Masterlist

Luke Castellan x Hades! reader (implied, fem)

Summary: Luke and the readers’ relationship before they became a couple. Luke is an absolute loser when it comes to crushes.

Warning: no use of y/n, luke is a total looser

author note: English is not my first language so I am sorry for any mistakes beforehand. Proofread by me and me only (Ｔ▽Ｔ)

word count: 1,3k

Luke Castellan was 14 when he came to the camp, and he was sad. Not only did he just lose a friend that turned into a tree, but he had to pretend to like his dad. Now that he was 15, his mind was somewhere else, his friends to be exact. He tried to make friends with everyone. But these two in the Hermies cabin just caught his eyes. They argued all the time it was almost unbearable, and yet they refused to sleep anywhere but next to each other. It has been a few months since they got here, and somehow their banter has extended to him.

So now that he and Chris were watching the Aphrodite girlies, he had turned him out. He was talking about something Luke did not care about. He only started to pay attention when he slapped him. Luke gave him a confused look.

“You're not even looking man,” Cris says.

“Because it's creepy!” Luke argues back. It was creepy, they disguised themself as resting campers next to the Aphrodite cabin. To him, and everyone else, it looked like Cris just discovered what a woman is. Granted, they just turned 15, so he is certain with that. Luke couldn't bring himself to care. When he thought about girls only one face came to his mind, and he was not about to confess that to his friend.

“Don't you see them! They look good!” Chri says back. 

“I like someone already.” Chris looks at him with a deadpaned look. Absolute silence. Maybe Luke really should not have said anything. According to Chris, Luke could have anyone in the camp. Even crowing him as the heartthrob of the camp.  Luke tried to move on as fast as he could from this conversation, however, Chris's attention was sparked, and would not let go of the conversation.

They kept going back and forth and none of them noticed a familiar girl come their way.

“ Stop spying on the aphrodite cabin like they are some prey!” She says, effectively tearing them out of their argument.

“ Prey?? What are we? Animas?” Luke was quick to defend himself. He didn't even want to be here.

“ Not you, you raging virgin,”  Chris says and gives him a side-eye. The girl just rolls her eyes. 

“I'm not a virgin!” Luke's voice cracked, not something he wanted to happen while defending his honor. His eyes snap to the girl, hoping that she would believe him. But she looked like she wouldn't even believe he had hair on his head. Luke signs defeat. There is no winning in this. He just has to come to terms with the fact that his crush thinks he's a total loser.

–

When Luke turned 16 he realized he wanted to look ripped. And he wanted to do you to get girls, well a specific one but he will not say that aloud. He will tell you he just wants to be a better hero with glory and all that. However Luke was 16, and he had no better idea than to practice in front of his crush.

He was nervous. Sweating. He couldn't tell if it was from the sword fighting or her. She was just sitting down and looking at him. His heart was beating way too fast for his liking. So he was very glad when his opponent called it quits and he could rest.

He went and sat down next to the girl. She smiled and handed him a towel and cold water. He rolled his sleeves up his shoulders to feel some of the cold air. The girl had to do a double-take at him. He could see her in the corner of his eye looking at him. He flexed his arms just a little.

“ Exposing your biceps like that? What a slut.” She says. His eyes widen for a second before he composes himself. He turns to her with a smirk on his face.

“ You like that don't you.”  That stopped her in the tracks. He could practically see the clogs turn in her head.

“Maybe I do.” She says, her eyes fixated on his arms. Luke went red and looked away. He could feel her arm on him as she studied his mussels. He let her arm wander, they were seemingly in their world.  Her arms slip to his chest. He looked down and then back to her.

“ I know my pecs are big but can you stop objectifying me?” The girl stopped in her tracks and looked him dead in the eyes.

“Nah.” With that, she just continued to feel him up. He just let her.

—

Luke was 17 when one of his closest friends was claimed by Hades and had to move out of the cabin into a small room above the medical storage unit. He helped her move the stuff, not that she had much but still. When he walked into the room he saw her standing with Chris, who upon seeing him gave him a smirk. Luke sat the bag down and turned around to see Crish walking out giving him a wink.

Luke turned to the girl with a confused look. She just shrugged and thanked him for bringing the bag. He could feel the tension in the air. Luke looked around the room. It wasn't big, but it was something, and first and foremost it was private. Not something he could say about his bed. He looked at the girl again. She was not sporting a black camp shirt instead of an orange one. Fitting for a Hades kid. 

When his eyes got to her face his heart jumped to her throat for a bit. She was looking at him with a sheepish smile. 

“So Chris said-” Right then and there he knew. He knew his friend had said something he shouldn't.

“Don't believe Chris !” He yelped and grabbed her hand. Silently he begged her to forget whatever the boy told her. She raised her eyebrows at him.

“ So you don't get a major ‘love boner’ every time you see me?” A whine lest Luke's lips.

“Why did he have to put it like that.” He says his voice high-pitched. The girl just let out a laugh.

—

Luke was 18 when he confessed. He was 18 when she confessed back. And he was 18 when he kissed his crush of 4 years.  He was 18 now lying in the Hermes cabin looking at the ceiling dreamingly. He could only remember what her hands and lips felt on him. The other 3 boys were taking none of that.

“He's a mess. Like mess mess.” Says Connor looking at his counselor with a weird look, before turning to his twin who wore a similar expression.

“ Mess in distress but still the best dressed?” Answered Travis. He has been cursed by one of the Apollo kids to say things that rhyme but not really.  It's been going on for a week now with no sign of going away.

“He's definitely not blessed dresses, I can tell you that.” Says Chris sitting at the foot of Luke's bed cleaning his nails.

Lukes wasn't paying them attention. He finally achieved what he wanted since 15.  He could handle the teasing if it meant he could sneak into her room after calling lights out. One of the twins poked him in the ribs but he just swatted them away.

He could hear them say he was gone, but the only thing he could think about was his girlfriend. 

It was a year later when he was 19 and risked everything.

[patdkoala]

I Don't Hate You

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Warning: Angst, enemies to lovers, smut, nicknames (Doll and Charming), unprotected p in v, masturbation (Fem), Oral (Fem receiving)

I'm not entirely convinced that Bucky doesn't hate me.

His resting face is also his angry face. And he's always looking at me in that tone.

Like right now. He was just sitting there staring at me.

"What?" I asked while looking up at him.

"Nothing, just... thinking."

"About?"

"You wouldn't want to know."

Now what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Try me," I said to try and get something, anything, out of him.

"Don't push it, kid."

Oh, I hate it when he calls me that.

I grit my teeth. "Fine, don't tell me. I don't care anymore.

"Fine by me." His tone was sharp. He spoke with such anger towards me and I didn't know what I ever did to him.

Bucky is handsome, sure. He's tall and largely built. The metal arm alone scares away almost everyone.

But there is something about him that I find incredibly charming.

But in a stuck-up asshole Prince Charming way.

"Whatever, Charming," I sneered back at him.

Bucky scoffed when I called him that. "Charming?"

"Yeah, you know because you are a jerk like Prince Charming," I said as I got up from the couch and poured myself a drink.

"Hey, at least I own up to it. Unlike some people, who think they're God's gift to womankind," He said as I nearly killed him right then and there.

"I AM! Have you seen this ass? And my tits? These are fantastic. You just wish you were one of the many men I have that get to touch me."

"You're as shallow as a kiddie pool."

"Confident. I'm confident. Not my fault you cry when you look in the mirror."

He sighed and I could have sworn I saw a hint of a smile. "I don't know why I waste my time with you. I could find a rock with more personality than you."

I had had it with him. He is such an asshole.

"Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you. Hating you would mean I loved you at one point and grew to hate you. I can't stand you."

"Wow. Fantastic. How about I go outside and help you find a rock with a great personality?"

"Be my guest."

I set down my drink and walked towards the door. He was standing in front of it.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me. What are you doing?"

"Getting a rock. What does it look like?"

"No you're not," He said in a stern tone.

"What are you saying?" I was so confused. First, he wants the rock. Now he doesn't.

"You're not going outside to find a rock," He said it but it felt like a demand.

"I'm not?"

"No. You are not."

"Are you asking me not to? Or telling me not to?"

"I'm telling you."

oh

My breath caught in my throat as he just stared at me. There he was. Again. Just staring at me.

"What is going on in that mind of yours?" I asked with actual curiosity.

"You really wanna know?" He asked as interest peaked in me.

I couldn't even speak I was so excited. I just nodded like a mindless bimbo.

He got closer only to whisper, "I'm trying to figure out why in the hell I haven't left you in the middle of the woods yet."

Asshole.

I pushed him back against the door but not in a flirty way. More of a shove before storming off.

He doesn't even flinch. He just glares at me as I storm off.

I go to my room to cool off. I obviously like him but he doesn't like me and I am just going to have to deal with it.

I decided to work out. I needed to get this fire out of my system. I blasted my music into my headphones as I started my routine.

The workout wasn't working. I needed to matters into my own hands. Or, hand.

I made sure my door was locked and when I did I saw Bucky in the living room doing push-ups. He was trying to cool off as well.

I am going to make his life very hard. Well, and something else.

I sat on my bed and slipped a hand into my shorts. I started off slow but then built up tension.

My fingers felt nice but they weren't him.

"Oh, Bucky~" I moaned quietly as I came.

That was when I heard the knock.

I got up and opened the door.

"I hope you didn't think I didn't hear anything."

"Oh, but I was intentionally being loud for you, Charming." I smiled as I raised an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. "Of course you were."

"Is there a problem?"

"Yes, actually."

"What is it now? Gonna tell me how much you hate me? How much you wish I was dead? Or maybe-" "I was just going to ask that you keep it down when you finger yourself."

"Seriously? That's it? No snide comments?"

"Don't temp me."

"Oh, but it's my favorite thing to do!" I whined.

He just stared at me. Again. So, I stared back. He turned around and walked away. I rolled my eyes and followed him.

"Do you seriously have to follow me everywhere?"

"No. But I just want you to tell me the truth." I said as I followed after him.

"What truth? That you're a pain in my ass? That I want nothing more than to ditch you?"

I was actually hurt this time. "Is that actually true?"

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"Because I need you to be very honest with me, Barnes. If that is really how you feel then I will just head out and you will never have to see me ever again."

"Fucking guilt-tripping. You're not gonna leave, and you know it."

"Watch me." I felt the fire inside me rise.

"Oh please, spare me. I know you. You wouldn't make it a week on your own."

I rolled my eyes. "And why is that? Why do you think I need you all the time?" I was practically screaming at him at this point.

"You are the most dependent person I have ever met. You would die without me."

I thought for a second. "No. No, I think it's the other way around. You'd die without me and you just don't want to admit it. I swear you are such an asshole."

"And I think you are in denial. That's why you cling to me so much because you hate being alone with yourself."

I scoff. "I think you are forgetting how okay I was with myself not too long ago in that bedroom in my own hands."

"Oh yes. I remember. You were so "okay" you were grunting and groaning for half an hour." He paused and took a breath. "You want the truth? I'll give it to you. Right now. You're a spoiled, ungrateful, whiny, little bitch," He said I was slightly taken aback but I didn't flinch.

"Oh, come on. Say it like you mean it." I roll my eyes one last time.

"You'll be back here in a day you useless piece of-"

"Save it. I'm leaving."

"Fine."

I went to my room and honest to God packed a bag.

I went back towards the front door and saw that Bucky hadn't moved. I lifted my hand to the handle. I was going so slow a snail could have stopped me.

I wanted Bucky to speak up and say something. Stop me from leaving. But he just stood there.

Then he cleared his throat.

"Oh, this should be good. What is it now?"

"Please... don't go..."

I was speechless.

"Give me one reason. One honest reason to stay," I finally spoke.

"Because..." he doesn't continue.

"Exactly. That's why I'm leaving. You only want to fight me when I'm here but you won't fight for me to stay."

"Don't go. Please," He said in a breathy sentence.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want you to go."

I didn't know what to say. He was just staring at me. Again. I swear to God this guy has got a problem.

Except this time he looked vulnerable.

Helpless.

Needy.

"Are you asking me to stay? Or telling me."

"I'm fucking begging you."

I dropped my bag and turned around so that I was standing closer to him. It was taking everything in me not to pounce on this man and rip his clothes off of him.

We were so close that I felt his breath hitch.

Say something God Damnit!

He didn't say a thing.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into a kiss.

"I- I thought you hated me," I said in a breathless sentence.

"I do." He said as he brought his mouth to my neck.

I moaned as he touched me so feverly. I had never felt something like this before.

The passion. The rage. The fire.

He pulled me closer as if it was even fucking possible, and he started to kiss down my collarbone.

"Bedroom- the bedroom-" I stuttered out.

Bucky smiled in a way I had never seen before. He had mischief in his eyes. He picked me up and carried me to my room.

He put me on the bed and crawled on top of me.

Mother fucking Bucky Barnes was crawling on top of me.

He held our gaze as he removed my shorts and soaked panties.

He held our gaze as he moved to the edge of the bed and sunk his teeth into my inner thigh.

The only time he looked away was when his head was too far buried in my cunt to even notice his surroundings.

I tugged on his hair and tried to pull him closer. I was so close to coming and we were only on that bed for maybe 6 minutes.

"I know, Doll," He said as chills went down my spine.

I wanted more.

"Mhmmm," I moaned out at the empty feeling as he got off me and then he removed his shirt.

I sat up and ran a hand down his chest.

The muscles.

The scars.

The happy trail.

The sweat.

I wanted to lick him.

As my hand was gliding down his glistening chest, he removed his belt and pants.

He was so hard that part of him was poking out of his boxers.

"That looks painful," I said as he slowly pushed me back onto the bed.

"You have no idea what I have been going through all day today," He said as he pushed his knee between my legs to spread them apart.

"All day?" I questioned.

"When you asked me what was on my mind while I was staring at you from the couch. I was thinking about how hard my dick was and what it would feel like inside you," He said as he moved his boxers down just enough to get free.

I kissed him roughly and bit his bottom lip as he lowered himself into me softly so I could adjust to his size.

He then held onto one of my legs. "What-"

"I need to get a better angle." He said as I felt like I was splitting apart.

I moaned so loud as he started thrusting into me. Hard.

His hips snapped so fast and the whole bed shook.

He was the one grunting and groaning now.

"Oh, Bucky~" I moaned out again but this time with him inside me. Happily.

"No, use the nickname," He said as I smiled. "I did. Bucky-" He stuck a finger inside just to hit my clit.

"Charming!" I yelped out as felt myself getting closer and closer.

His hips started faltering and my legs were starting to tremble.

"I- 'm close Doll," Bucky moaned out as I sat up a little more so he could really get up in there.

"Me too, Charming," I said as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. I think I hit a nerve with that last one.

I moaned so loudly as I came around him. He came very soon after. I think the feeling of me pulsing around him was too much for him.

He pulled out and then cleaned us off with the henley he had thrown off.

He laid down next to me and pulled me close so my back was to his chest.

"Do you still want me to go find you a rock?" I asked as he laughed.

"You are insufferable."

[imbored1201]

Lost Child

Barcelona Femeni x Teen Reader

Summary: Being in Sweden was supposed to be a fun new experience for you, then it became scary very quickly

A/N: This is set during the 22/23 season and I have no idea if the google translation was right for the Swedish speaking part, so sorry if it isn’t

You were in Sweden playing Rosengard. The team was on a walk, as usual, to admire everything about a new country. You were with Lucy and Keira, Keira holding your hand to make sure you didn't wander off.

————

Once the walk was finished everyone split into groups. You wanted to go with Ingrid, Mapi, and Frido since they were getting food and you were really hungry. Everyone else was going to go see exhibits and probably cause mayhem you did not want any part in. You had promised Alexia you would behave, and you wanted to keep that promise.

Lucy, being an overbearing mother, strictly told the three girls to keep an eye on you, as you were a slippery little thing and always wandered off without anyone realizing. "It's not hard to keep track of a 16 year old Lucy," Mapi cockily grinned as she put an arm around your shoulder.

"I warned you, if she does wander off, she'll most likely be in a toy store or arcade." Mapi seemed to not care about this information, but Ingrid and Fridolina did. They knew how you were.

They were Alexia's go-tos when she had to rant about your behavior. You were always getting into trouble. Even if you got hurt, the next day you would be doing the same thing again.

————

You and Mapi skipped ahead as Ingrid and Fridolina took pictures of everything. They smiled and watched you look around, amazed by the new scenery.

Fridolina was paying close attention to you and would grab you and pull you back into her body, telling you to stay close to someone when she noticed you wandering off. She didn't want to deal with the yelling Alexia would give everyone if she got a phone call from them telling her they lost the baby.

You guys walked past a outlet as you were going to get food. Ingrid and Fridolina wanted to look around, and of course, you and Mapi would be their personal bag carriers. Ingrid could tell you were on the verge of complaining, so she bought you chocolate to keep you distracted. It did make you feel a little better, but you just wanted food, something like chicken tenders.

"I need to use the restroom; sit right there." Fridolina pointed to the bench, and you surprisingly listened without any snarky remarks. Mapi and Ingrid were nearby, looking at some fancy shoes through a window.

You huffed and looked around at everything and everyone. You loved observing. It was the little moments that made you happy. After a few seconds, you got bored and got up to bug Mapi.

You were confused when you saw they weren't nearby anymore. "Huh" you mumbled as you walked to find them.

After a couple of minutes, you were in front of a bakery, looking around, confused. Completely forgetting every way you just went.

'Should've studied the streets I took,' you said to yourself as you huffed angrily. Of course, this was the only time you decided not to observe anything.

You searched for your phone but realized Ingrid was carrying it in her bag. You sighed as you walked to a park that was near the bakery and sat down on a bench. It was getting dark; you were hungry and wanted to take a nap.

You were thinking of going back to the bakery but were too scared to go in. Wondering what the workers would do if they saw a confused kid who couldn't speak Swedish, shaking and trying to figure out how to communicate with them.

That's when a lady came up to you; she looked elderly and looked at you weirdly as she noticed your terrified expression. "Mår du bra?" (Are you okay?). You looked at her confused, and she realized you weren't from there. She put her finger up to signal for you to wait here and walked away. You knew you had to trust someone, so you waited.

The lady came back 10 minutes later with a bag of goodies. She sat down next to you and handed you a piece of bread. You had no idea if it was even safe or if she hadn't put anything inside. You could already hear Alexia's scolding about taking things from strangers, and you were pretty paranoid about that stuff since you watched so many crime shows.

It was silent between the two of you, but you felt comfortable with her; she had Leah's comforting demeanor. She was just scrolling through her phone and would look at you every 2 minutes to make sure you were fine. After 10 minutes, you heard your name from a distance. Your face lit up when you saw a familiar blonde. "Frido!" You yelled happily as you ran into her arms.

"Kid, you gave everyone a heart attack," she said as she hugged you tightly. "är hon din dotter?" (Is she your daughter?) The lady said to Frido, who shook her head and rubbed your back. "Vän, tack för att du tittade på henne," (Friend, thanks for looking after her), the woman nodded. "Thank you," you told her quietly, making her smile as she patted your back and walked away.

"I told you not to wander!" She scolded you now, and you marveled at the personality change. "I didn't mean to; when you went to the restroom, Mapi and Ingrid wandered off, so I tried finding them, but I couldn't find any of you," you defended yourself. "Hold on, I need to call them to tell them I found you." She got out her phone and dialed Ingrid's number.

"Ingrid, yes, I found her. Calm down; you're talking way too fast. Who told Alexia?" Shivers ran down your spine. Someone told Alexia about you getting lost; everyone was going to get yelled at the next time you guys saw her.

"I have her okay; just go back to the hotel." "I'm hungry," you whined at Frido, who sighed. "She's hungry; it'll probably take a while; I'm going to get her food." You smiled at that. The whole walk, Frido didn't let go of your hand. You didn't care, though, joyfully swinging your combined hands back and forth.

Once she got you fed and bought you some things to make you feel better, you made your way back to the hotel. As soon as you stepped into the lobby, Irene, Mapi, Ingrid, Marta, and Lucy crowded you. Lucy pulled you into her and glared at the girls. "I cannot believe you three; you lost our prodigy. Leah would have killed me and Keira if she found we lost baby England," Lucy said as she led you to the elevator.

You could hear distant arguing as you walked away from the group. You showed Lucy your new stuffed lioness, and the candy Frido got you. No one on the team could say no to you, expect Alexia, and you used that to your advantage.

"That's nice, kiddo. Come on, it's nap time." You gave her a weird look. "I'm 16, not 3," Lucy shrugged. "Do you want to grow big and strong like me?" "I thought you stop growing at 15?" "Okay, but come on, don't you want some nice abs like your favorite defender?"

"Leah's abs are nice," you muttered, and Lucy looked at you, offended. You smiled at her and threw yourself into her arms. "Fine, I'll take a nap, but you have to be my cuddle buddy since Ingrid is too busy being yelled at." Lucy smirked and held you. You loved to cuddle with your teammates, especially when you did something bad. It completely made them forget what you did as they held you.

"I'm still telling Leah about this," you groaned as you shut your eyes and took a nap, knowing when you woke up you’ll have tons of text from Leah and Alexia.

[my-castles-crumbling]

bar - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 645 - NSFW (detailed descriptions of sexual dancing but not actual sex) - sorry for flooding your inbox today, @jegulus-microfic, I really like this prompt!

"Make Regulus blush."

That had been James's dare from Dorcas.

But Regulus was a fortress. He didn't react to anything. James had been trying for months. He'd flirted, complimented, annoyed, and instigated.

The only reason he hadn't given up was because of Marlene. 'Cas says that Reg likes you back. You just have to break through his....er...walls.'

So he continued to try. But Regulus continued to reject him. He had a plan tonight, though.

Sirius had snuck off with Remus so he wasn't about to get reprimanded for resorting to desperate measures. Which he was going to do. Because these were definitely desperate times. Meaning, James was desperate for Regulus.

So he stood from his spot in their circle of friends and moved in front of Regulus. "Any rules?" he asked lightly, looking at Regulus.

"No," Dorcas answered, while Regulus wrinkled his nose and said, "No touching."

"Alright," James nodded, conjuring a chair and gesturing for Regulus to sit.

The other boy sat gingerly, looking up at him with a bored expression that said 'do your worst.'

Then, waving his wand, James made music begin.

Of course, he was not a trained professional. He'd never given a lap dance in his life, actually. But he had a feeling that didn't matter. Because as soon as the music began, a suggestive bass line filling the room, Regulus looked nervous.

"Sure this is okay?" James asked and he stepped closer.

"No touching," Regulus repeated, quieter, now.

"Sure."

Instead, James slowly circled the chair, before coming around to the front again. Grinning slightly, he straddled Regulus, never allowing their legs to touch, gripping the bar of the back of the chair behind Regulus's head for balance, before slowly guiding himself down and in.

It was difficult. James thanked Merlin for his Quidditch training, as his thighs burned from the position. But, leaning closer and allowing his face and chest to move just centimeters way from Regulus, thrusting his hips with the music, he realized it was worth it. Because it was working.

The air was becoming hot and Regulus's breath was hitching. James felt the tension rolling off of both of them in waves.

Wolf whistles sounded from around them as Regulus began to squirm, accidentally causing their legs to brush.

"I can stop, love," James murmured into his ear, knowing he couldn't do much else without actually touching Regulus.

But Regulus met his eyes and tilted his chin up slightly before spreading his own knees just a little, making their legs touch again. "Go on," he muttered. "I won't blush even if you touch me."

Grinning at the challenge, James sat fully in his lap, now, earning screams from the circle, but focusing on Regulus's face. He looked like he was concentrating, his lip between his teeth and his eyes staring across the room. "Distracted?" James asked quietly, slowly allowing his weight to pull their bodies together deliciously.

"No," Regulus grunted, still staring off.

James ran his hands up Regulus's chest and thrust just slightly, earning a shiver from the other boy. "And now, love?"

"No."

Someone in the circle whistled again and everyone was chattering and giggling.

He bit at the earlobe in front of him before mouthing down Regulus's neck. The smallest moan was detectible only through vibration, and James smiled into the pale skin in front of him. "Blushing now?"

"N-no."

But James knew he was lying. Because it was clear from the hardness poking into his inner thigh that Regulus was very distracted. So he whispered again, "Your cock seems to disagree."

Regulus let out a louder groan this time, throwing his head back a bit, and James looked triumphantly at his skin, a beautiful blush forming there. "We'll pick this up later, love," he murmured into Regulus's ear, kissing his neck lightly before standing up and facing Dorcas.

"I win."

[babybluebex]

venus pt.1 | angus tully x fem!reader

summary: after being accepted as barton academy's first female student, you didn't think it could get any worse. as the fall semester progresses, you start to form a friendship with the outcast, angus, but what happens when the holidays come and you are the last two students on campus? PART 1 OF 2 pairing: angus tully (the holdovers, 2023) x fem!reader tags: canon compliance (this is a complete rewrite of the film, just with the added reader insert), lots of swearing, teddy is an asshole but what's new, 70s ideals about feminism (which YES is a warning), mentions of grief/loss author’s note: oof here we go, part 1 of my long-teased angus fic! be aware that this is literally 11k words, so i apologize for the absolute brick wall of text you're about to encounter (but don't worry, i put a read more on it :) ) also, if i missed any warnings/tags, pls dm me and let me know if you think i should add something! other than that, enjoy!

There were worse fates than this, right? There had to be, you were sure of it. You felt every pair of eyes on you as you walked down the center aisle of the chapel, acutely aware of the overwhelming masculine energy that you were drowning in. After all, at Barton, it wasn’t every day that these boys saw a girl. You wondered how long some of them had gone without laying eyes on a member of the opposite sex (a real one; skin mags don’t count). 

It also didn’t help that the priest at the front of the room had intentionally brought everyone’s eyes to you the moment you walked in. You had tried to slip in unnoticed, but he had said “Ah, here she is now: our very first Barton lady! Come sit up front with the headmaster!” 

You anchored yourself in the frontmost pew, next to the headmaster with a hippie beard, and kept your head still and staring straight ahead. You had known very little about Barton before that school year— you were from nearby Boston, and had gone to a larger high school with, not only a more mixed gender breakdown, but a significantly different economic situation than Barton. You had been shocked, as you took the bus from town to campus, at how many Mercedes and Cadillacs you had seen near the school. You felt like a fish out of water, in more ways than one. 

The priest didn’t end his taunting when you sat down, though. “Many of you probably wondered, when you got on campus for the beginning of the semester, what the new building next to the dormitory was,” he began, and you heard a few mumblings from the row behind you, confirming their confusion. “Well, gentlemen, this year… Barton has become coeducational. The new building, Blackwell Hall, named for the esteemed Elizabeth Blackwell, is the girl’s dormitory.” 

The mumbling behind you increased to a dull rumble, and you slightly turned your head to get a glance at the boys sitting behind you. All high school boys, kids your age, staring at you and wondering what your deal was. You took notice of one boy in particular, the only one around you not gossiping with his friends, totally uninterested and picking at his cuticles. Before you could even think to wonder about this boy, someone from near the back of the chapel yelled “Is she gonna be in classes with us?” 

“Yes, she will,” the priest said. “She is a junior, so, gentlemen, make sure you welcome her warmly to our school.” 

You sat and endured chapel while burning from all the stares in your direction, and, as soon as the priest dismissed the lot of you, you shot up and made your way to the doors, clutching your handbag close to your body. The August air hit your face as you stepped out, and you started back to Blackwell Hall, where your things sat, ready to be unpacked, but someone called out to you, demanding your attention. 

“Hey, girl!” You turned to see who had shouted, and you were met with the sight of a boy with caramel-colored hair, wearing a sports coat and tie. Come to think of it, all the boys were wearing coats and ties. You hadn’t been told anything about a uniform, and suddenly your jeans felt less than appropriate. The boy had a cigarette in his hand, and he beckoned you over to him, and you clenched your back teeth as you (for some reason) obeyed. 

“You’re a junior, huh?” the boy asked, and you nodded. “What classes are you taking?” 

You pursed your lips. “Precalc,” you began. “Ancient Civ. Home Ec. Bio.” 

“Gym?” he asked, and you shook your head. 

“There’s not a girls’ locker room,” you said, hoping he understood your explanation. 

The boy ashed his cigarette, and he said, “What period do you have Ancient Civ?”

You tried to recall what you had written down, and you said, “Fourth period, I think. With Hunham.” 

“Oh,” the boy said with a winning smile. “I’m in that period too. Maybe we could be study partners.” 

You drew in a breath and cleared your throat. “Maybe,” you said softly. “What’s your name?” 

“Teddy,” he replied. “Kountze.” 

“Right,” you mumbled. “Well, um, I’ll see you around, Teddy.” 

“Um, are you going to the cafeteria?” Teddy asked hastily, like he was looking for something to talk to you about. “I-I was about to head there, and, if you wanted someone to sit with, I have a spare seat at my table.” 

“I’m not,” you told him. “Gotta get back to my dorm and finish unpacking. I only got in town today.” 

“How did…” Teddy started. “How did you get in? Your folks hear that Barton was going coed and got you in?” 

You shook your head. “I went to Central High School, in Boston,” you replied. “I was doing a research project and saw in a newspaper that Barton was going coed and having a lottery for the first female student. I sorta put my name in as a joke, and then, when I won, it… Wasn’t really a joke anymore. I had to take some academic placement tests, since Central isn’t exactly a highbrow school, and I got a scholarship that covered a lot of my tuition. The board of trustees waived the rest of it, so…” 

“You’re going here for free?” Teddy asked incredulously. “Jesus, I didn’t even know we had scholarships.” 

“Of course you wouldn’t, Kountze,” a voice said from nearby, and you turned your shoulder to see the boy from chapel who didn’t give a shit about you. He stood tall, rail thin, a mop of dark curls on top of his head. He had eyes like black holes, his pale skin so translucent around his eye sockets that he had purplish-red bags underneath. “Nobody’s going to tell the bottom scum about possible academic achievements. It’s cruel to tease people with something they’ll never have.” 

“Fuck off, Tully,” Teddy snapped. “Don’t you have some porno mag waiting for you?” 

The boy (you supposed his name was Tully) pushed his hands into the pockets of his coat and skulked away, and you scoffed under your breath. “Charming,” you mumbled, but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from his back as he left the scene. 

“Jesus, yeah,” Teddy said. “That’s Angus Tully. Biggest asshole here, thinks he’s better than everyone else. God knows why, he’s such a fuckin’ loser. He’s in Hunham’s fourth period too.”  

You furrowed your eyebrows at Angus Tully’s back, and then redirected your attention to Teddy, who was presently snubbing out his cigarette with the toe of his shoe. “I’ll see you in class tomorrow,” you said softly, and, without another word, departed for your dorm. 

You appreciated that Barton had built a separate dorm for the female students, but, seeing as you were the sole resident of the building, you were irked by it. It was too big and empty, too lifeless and soulless. Certainly, they had built it with future generations in mind, hoping that more girls would eventually enroll and prove the building a necessity, but, for now, you found yourself aching with loneliness. You missed your mom and your sisters, in your small apartment in downtown Boston, just a few blocks from your old high school. You missed hearing Linda Ronstadt records playing from your older sister’s room (the one she shared with your mom), or the ceaseless sound of the air conditioning unit buzzing away in the window of your room (the one you shared with your other older sister). Barton just felt too… Good for you. But, it was as your mother had told you: it was an opportunity that you could not afford to pass up. 

You didn’t have a lot to unpack, and you hung up your clothes as you chewed your lip. For some reason, the interaction outside the chapel was sticking with you. Not Teddy, although he certainly had made himself hard to forget. No, you were thinking about Angus Tully, apparently the head asshole of Assholedom. You would be seeing him tomorrow too, for the first day of classes, in Hunham’s Ancient Civ class. You had never taken a class like that— your old school didn’t even offer the Advanced Placement program, so obnoxiously pretentious classes like that were out of your realm of understanding— and you were almost worried that you would flunk right out. 

You tossed and turned all night, dreading sunrise and morning. Breakfast was served at 7, and classes began at 8, beginning with Precalc for you, then transitioning into Biology. After third period free, you had Ancient Civ, then an hour for lunch, then Home Ec, then your last few hours of the school day were reserved for something that, on the fax paper that you had been given at the front office, was called “Secretarial Studies”. You hated to think what that meant (surely, Barton wasn’t trying to prime you for being a secretary and nothing more), but mostly, it meant that your school day basically ended earlier than for others. 

You awoke early, showered and scrubbed yourself clean (the water pressure in the shower was better than the fourth floor apartment that you used to deal with), and you dressed yourself in what you hoped was becoming of a Barton girl. The dress had initially been purchased as an outfit for special chapel occasions, Christmas and Easter or whatever, but you knew that your regular jeans and wrinkled t-shirt wouldn’t be enough for your new shiny academy. 

Once again, as you entered the cafeteria for breakfast, you felt all eyes on you. You scanned the room for an empty seat (you didn’t fail to spot Angus Tully, sitting at the cornermost table, not conversing with everyone else) and sighed when you saw an open chair right next to Teddy Kountze. He spotted you and waved, and you made your way over. 

“Hey there,” Teddy said. “How was your first night?” 

“Fine,” you shrugged noncommittally. “Kinda quiet, though.” 

“Yeah, nobody else in the whole building,” Teddy sighed. “No roommates or anything; that must be nice.”

“Nah, not really,” you replied. “I got used to my mom and my sisters, and it was just too quiet. Not nearly enough chaos for me.” 

“How many sisters do you have?” A boy across the table from you asked. 

“Two,” you said. “Both older. And my mom lived with us too, so there was always something going on.”

“Shit, for sure,” the boy said. “Are you gonna join any clubs while you’re here? Or sports or something?” 

You didn’t exactly love the way that the boy said that. “While you’re here”. Like you weren’t going to stay at Barton for very long. “I don’t know,” you shrugged. “I’ve never really been a sporty type. I might see if the yearbook needs help or something.” 

“You could join chess club,” the boy laughed, and Teddy (and pretty much everyone else at the table) laughed too. 

“Why? What’s so funny about chess club?” you asked. 

“Nothing,” Teddy sighed as he finished laughing. “Except that Tully’s ugly mug is there.” 

“Tully?” you repeated. “Angus?” 

“Do you know him?” a different boy at the table asked. 

“No, not at all,” you said quickly. “Just… Heard some stuff about him, that’s all. How he’s apparently a douche.” 

“You’ll see,” Teddy assured you. “In class, try to challenge him on something. See how he reacts, and you’ll get why we all hate him.” 

You wrinkled your nose at the thought, but decided to not let it bother you. You made your way to class, hanging close behind Teddy and not really listening to him as much as you were admiring the school building. It was so… Old. So was your old school, but Barton was beautifully old, whereas Central was just old. Dark, shiny wood everywhere, framed oil paintings of people; it was a feat. You finally separated from Teddy when you reached the classroom for Precalc, and you hesitantly stepped in. A handful of guys were there, sitting on their desks and chatting, and the room fell dead as you stepped inside. You hazarded a small smile, and quickly made your way to the back of the room, your preferred spot in any classroom, but you were stopped in your tracks. 

Angus Tully. He sat in the back corner, close to the window, his tie loose and crooked around his neck. He was looking out the window, but his eyes slid over to you as you approached the desk beside him. 

“Hi,” you said gently. “Can I… Um, can I sit here?” 

Angus shrugged, as if he didn’t care, and you slung your bag across the back of the seat before you settled yourself down. You tapped your fingers on the desktop for a moment, wondering what the next course of action was, and you mumbled out, “I-I heard you were in chess club?” 

“Yeah,” Angus grunted out. “What about it?” 

“Oh, nothing,” you said, anxiously smoothing your skirt on your thigh. “Just, umm… I was wondering if there was, like… If you guys were open to new members.” 

“Probably,” Angus said simply. 

You nodded slowly, waiting for his next words, but they never came. “Right,” you said softly. “Okay.” 

To your disappointment, Angus Tully and you shared every class together, except for your free period and Home Ec. His demeanor never changed a single bit throughout the day, sullen and curt. He didn’t speak during class, didn’t answer questions or even seem as if he was paying attention. It was odd. You were thinking about it as you settled into a desk in the back of the Ancient Civ classroom, and you yourself were hardly paying attention to the teacher, a one Mr. Hunham, until he called your name. “Miss?” he said, and you lifted your cheek out of your hand. “Would you like to introduce yourself?” 

You blinked a few times, your face positively burning hot, and you cleared your throat. “I’m sure you all know my name by now,” you began. “Know that I went to a public school in Boston, got in here on a lottery and a scholarship… I guess there’s not much else to know about me.” 

“Have you ever studied ancient civilizations before, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. He seemed well-meaning, if maybe a little sarcastic. 

“No,” you told him. 

“Any experience with Latin?” Mr. Hunham asked next. 

You deflated. Shit. This was that sorta school? “No,” you said, a little quieter this time. 

“Well, that’s alright,” Mr. Hunham said. “We’ll catch you up to speed. Now, gentlemen— Ah, and lady— let’s open our books to the first chapter.” 

All during class, you felt hot tears pricking at your eyes. You were humiliated. All these words and names that everyone else seemed to know, and you had no fucking clue what any of it meant. It was all Greek to you— Latin, actually, but that didn't matter. As Mr. Hunham was mid-sentence about some sort of war, the bell to end the class sounded throughout the room, and you instantly closed your textbook and began to shove it into your bag. “Read the rest of the section tonight!” Mr. Hunham called over the sounds of your classmates packing up and chattering. “There will be a quiz on Friday!” 

You shouldered your bag and tried to avoid eyes as you skated out of the room, but a voice saying your name held you back. You hoped your eyes weren’t red as you turned to see Angus standing limply in the hallway. He had stayed quiet during Mr. Hunham’s class too, sitting again in the back corner, and you had managed to forget about him as you wallowed in shame. “Yeah?” you asked. 

Angus carefully walked closer to you, and he said, “The library has tutors sometimes. If you need help with Latin.” 

“Oh,” you said softly. “Thanks. I just… Didn’t know people still spoke that.” 

“Not really, it’s a dead language,” Angus said. “But it’s helpful sometimes in classes. A lot of Ivy League schools have Latin courses that are required.” 

“Well, thank God I’m not going to an Ivy League school,” you chuckled mirthlessly. “I’ll be lucky if community college takes me.” 

“You go to Barton, colleges will be fighting for you to go there,” Angus shrugged. 

“But I’m not somebody,” you protested. “I’m not a senator’s kid, my dad isn’t a CEO, like… I just go here.” 

“But the name is good enough for schools to want you,” Angus said. “They want the prestige, that’s all.” 

You thought on it for a moment, and you mumbled, “Thanks, Angus. I’ll, um… See you tomorrow.” 

The whole first week of classes progressed at a snail’s pace. Every day was torturous— all of your classes, except for Ancient Civ, were easy. Home Ec was a complete wash, since you already knew how to sew and cook, and Secretarial Studies was just as you had feared: teaching you to type, mostly, but nevertheless skills needed to do office work. You were a little offended; you were the only student in the class, which was helmed by the front office manager Ms. Crane. Obviously the boys didn’t have to take this class, so what was Barton trying to say? 

Finally, it was Friday night. Your dorm building was quiet again, and, even though they had provided a rec room with a radio and a few bookshelves, there wasn’t too much for you to do. You curled a loose thread from your sweater around your finger as you considered your next move, and you sighed as you grabbed your keys and shuffled into your shoes. 

You pushed your way into the boy’s dorm, and there was a palpable change in energy. The lights seemed brighter, the air thicker, sounds coming from all manner of places. Some doors were open, the residents standing and chatting, and you could distantly hear the sound of a television playing somewhere on the first floor. Much livelier, more lived in; you wished you could have been placed there instead. You followed the sound of the television down the hall, past the chatting boys, and you noticed how conversations paused as you passed by. You despised that. 

The door to the rec room was wide open, and you peeked in nervously. The television was playing some rerun of Gilligan’s Island, and boys were scattered to all corners of the room. Some played pool, some sat on the couches, some stood by the open window and smoked, but everything seemed to stop as you crossed the threshold. You made your way to an empty section of the couch and sat down, grinding your teeth as boys young and old watched you. You sighed, and you said, “What’s going on?”

The boy next to you, some kid that you knew was in your Bio class but didn’t know his name, frowned. “Huh?” he asked.

You jerked your head towards the television. “The show,” you said. “What’s happening?” 

“Oh,” the boy said, and everyone resumed their conversations. “Umm, don’t you have a TV in your dorm?” 

“Just a radio,” you said with a shake of your head. “What episode is this?” 

The boy shrugged. “Wasn’t really paying attention,” he said. 

You bunched your mouth up and sighed again, and you stood up. You could sense the disappointment as you left the rec room, but you couldn’t stand being in there any longer. You knew that being ogled at came with the territory of being the only girl at a boys’ school, but you couldn’t imagine it would have been anything like this. You slipped your hand into the pocket of your jeans and found a few errant coins in there, leftover from some excursion from God knows how long ago, and you started up to the second floor. In your building, there was a bank of phones on the second floor, and it made sense to you that this building would be the same. 

Luckily, you were right. There was just as much business on the second floor as on the first, but the little phone bank was a calm corner. You sighed and examined the phone for a moment, trying to find the slot to put your dime, and you frowned. What the fuck?

“Just dial nine, and then the number you wanna call.” 

You jumped in fright. “Jesus Christ!” you seethed, whipping around to see Angus. He sat in a shadow of the phone bank, a book in one hand and a half-eaten apple in the other. He looked a little more casual than he did in class, his tie gone and shirt unbuttoned one or two to show the top of his undershirt. Still looked a little Grim Reaper in the face, though. “You scared the shit outta me.” 

Angus huffed a short laugh through his nose. “Thought you saw me,” he said. 

“I did not,” you mumbled. “Where’s the coin slot?” 

“These aren’t payphones,” Angus told you. “Just dial nine for a non-school number, then dial away.” 

You drew in a deep breath and shoved your dime back in your pocket, and you picked up the phone and started to rotate the dial, starting with nine, then going for your family’s apartment number. You felt Angus’s gaze seering on your back, and you cradled the phone to your shoulder as it rang. “Do you mind?” you asked. 

“Do I mind what?” Angus asked. 

“Scram, man,” you sighed. “I’m trying to call my mom, and I don’t want you listening to it.” 

“Well, you shouldn’t have come to a public phone if you wanted a private conversation,” Angus said, and you tilted your head at him in annoyance. “Doesn’t Blackwell have a phone bank?”

“Yeah,” you said. “But I didn’t wanna use it.” 

“So you came here instead,” Angus said. “I think you like the attention.” 

You swallowed thickly, anger tepid but starting to rise. “You don’t know me at all,” you bit at him. 

“Why’d you come to this building to make your call if you knew that every guy would stop to stare at your ass?” Angus asked. “You knew that. You’ve been here a week, you know by now that you attract attention. I think you like it, but you can’t admit it because you have that whole quiet mystery girl thing going on.”

“Fuck off, Tully,” you mumbled. “I’m not here to be some goddamn puzzle for you to solve. And I’m not gonna fuck you if you figure out my backstory, so just go away.”    

“Who said anything about fucking?” Angus asked smugly. 

You glared at him and that stupid crooked smirk on his face. “Stop staring at my ass first and we might get somewhere,” you told him lowly, just in time for the call to pick up. 

“Hello?” your mother said, and you sighed in relief. 

“Mom, thank God,” you laughed lightly. “You took so long to answer, I was worried nobody was there.”

“Oh, no, pumpkin, I’m here,” your mom told you. “I was just in the shower.”

“Is Rachel not home?” you asked. “Or Anna?” 

“Rach is at work,” your mom told you. “She picked up extra hours at Neiman Marcus. She thinks they might promote her to manager at the end of the year.”

“Oh, wow,” you mumbled. “Good for her. And Anna?” 

“Started taking night classes,” your mom said. “She started on Monday too.” 

“Cool,” you chuckled. “What’re you doing tonight? I think ABC is showing some sort of movie—”

“I’m going on a date,” your mom said, and your mouth went dry. 

“What do you mean?” you asked. “Like… With a guy?” 

“Yes,” your mom said carefully. “He’s nice, I met him at work. He’s taking me to a movie and dinner.” 

“That’s…” you started. “Cool, Mom. Good for you.”

“What about you?” your mom asked. “Surrounded by all those boys, there has to be someone who’s caught your eye.” 

You sighed. Your lip trembled, and you closed your eyes. You were acutely aware that Angus was still sat behind you, and the fact that you hadn’t heard his book turn in a few minutes meant that he was absolutely listening to your phone call, the little shit. “No, not really,” you said. “Everyone here is either too rich, too smart, or too… Asshole-ish. Some are even all three.” You made a point to turn your head towards Angus, and you heard his little huffing laugh before you turned back to the phone. 

“Oh, well,” your mom said. “Maybe you’ll find someone. How are classes?” 

“Fine, I guess,” you said. “I’m taking a class about ancient civilizations, and apparently I missed the class where they teach Latin, so I’m sorta lost. And Home Ec sucks because I already know how to do all that. And they’re making me take something about how to be a secretary, and that’s so infuriatingly sexist that it makes me angry.”

“It’s a bunch of men, in charge of a bunch of boys,” your mom sighed. “They’re trying their best to adapt to you.” 

“I can’t even take gym class because they don’t have a place for me to change clothes,” you lamented. “Not that I wanna take gym anyway, but you see why I’m upset!” 

“I know, pumpkin, it’s okay,” your mom said. 

“Why would they go coed if they can’t even integrate girls in properly?” you sighed. “I wish I had just stayed home and gone to Central. Would’ve saved me a lot of trouble.” 

“You’ll be alright, you’re still just adjusting,” your mom assured you. “But… If, by Christmas, you still don’t feel like you belong there, I’ll pull you out and you can go back to Central. But I have to know by Thanksgiving, so I can start the paperwork in time for spring semester”

“Sure,” you said. “That sounds good to me.” 

“Alright, baby,” your mom said. “Richard will be here any minute, and I have to finish getting ready. I’ll be at work until 4 tomorrow, but call any time after, okay? I love you so much.”

“Love you too,” you mumbled, and you held the plastic phone by your face as you listened to your mother hang up and the dial tone drone. After a moment, you hung the phone back up on the hook, and you readied yourself for Angus’s petty insults as you turned to leave the phone bank. But they never came. You eyed him, sitting there on the wooden bench, his dark eyes focused on yours, and you snapped, “What?” 

“Nothing,” Angus said lightly, sliding back into the darkened corner and picking up his book. “Nothing at all.” 

That was your weekly exercise. Week in and week out, all you did was classes. You wanted to avoid as many interactions with the others as possible, so you stayed quiet during class, kept to yourself, didn’t accept invites to parties or football games or to sit at lunch tables. You took to having lunch with Ms. Crane in the front office, and she seemed to commiserate with you about all the boys. “Some of these kids are real stinkers,” she told you. “But they’re teenage boys. I think it’s a law that they have to be.”

Your saving grace was the deal you had made with your mom. If you could just wait until Christmas break, you could go back to your old school, to your old friends, and you could forget about the hell that was Barton. You kept your grades up, so that Central could see that you hadn’t turned into some kind of slacker, and you consistently got B’s and A’s in your classes. Except for Ancient Civ. 

The exam booklet slapped down on your desk, a red F blazoned across the front. You sighed and started to thumb through it, trying to figure out where you went wrong as the other boys also realized their grades were low, and your heart sank when you saw all of the multiple choice questions without a flaw. So it was your essay question that led you astray. On the very last page of the booklet, you found your essay, handwritten yesterday on something about ancient philosophers, and a red note in Mr. Hunham’s handwriting. See me after class. 

You could hardly pay attention to the conversation between Teddy and Mr. Hunham. Your mind was racing, wondering what he wanted to talk to you about. You should have gotten a perfect score, but something held that back. Surely he didn’t think you had cheated? Or copied someone else’s work? You thought that you and Mr. Hunham got along (as well as any student can get along with their strict, hardass teacher) and your heart sank at the thought that you had definitely somehow disappointed him. 

“... Offer a makeup exam” got your head out of the clouds, and you focused on Mr. Hunham at his podium. “You’ll all get a second run at this after break.” The class muttered and mumbled, only to be cut through by Mr. Hunham’s next words: “Of course, it will not be the same exam. You will now be responsible for new material as well. Your grade will be an average of the two.” 

As Mr. Hunham instructed the class to open their books to a new chapter, you were shocked, along with everyone else, when Angus spoke. “No offense, sir,” he began, and you sucked in a breath. You had learned that, whenever any of the boys at Barton didn’t intend offense, that offense was certainly on its way. “But is this really the best time to be starting a new chapter? I mean, we all appreciate the, uh, makeup exam gesture… But our families are here.” 

You rolled your eyes. Speak for yourself, Tully. Your mom had to work that day, as did both of your sisters, and you gotten instruction to take a Greyhound into Boston and someone would meet you at the bus station to bring you home. It wasn’t exactly the best plan, but it was what worked. Your mom had arranged with Barton to let you back on campus during break to empty your dorm room, and you sighed a thing of relief. Almost done. You were so close to leaving Barton in your dust and washing your hands of the entire school. 

“Most teachers have already canceled class,” Angus continued. “We have chapel in forty minutes, then we’re out of here. I mean, our heads are elsewhere.” 

“And where exactly is your head, Mr. Tully?” Mr. Hunham asked, and Angus shrugged. 

“Uh, I don’t know. St. Kitts.” 

Jesus. Of course Angus Tully was going to fuckin’ St. Kitts for Christmas. You would be lucky if your family could afford to have the heat turned on for Christmas. 

Your annoyance turned to dire anger when Mr. Hunham decided to scrap the idea of a makeup exam and dismissed the class without another word. You hurried to shove your exam booklet in your bag, and you glared at Angus as you edged out of your row. “Thanks a lot, dick,” you mumbled, then left the room, not even waiting to see Angus’s response. Your heart raced as you tailed Mr. Hunham, and you finally called his name as he approached the door to his private office. 

“Ah, Miss,” Mr. Hunham chuckled. “Yes, yes, let’s sit down and discuss your exam.” 

“I-I didn’t do anything wrong,” you said hurriedly as he unlocked the office door. “I didn’t cheat or plagiarize, you didn’t even mark off any points. I don’t understand why I failed.” 

Mr. Hunham said nothing as he led you into his office, and you wrinkled your nose. God, it smelled bad in there. Nevertheless, you sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk, and you waited with bated breath as he sat down in his seat. He examined you for a moment, for long enough for you to start to feel weird under his walleyed gaze, and, finally, he said, “In actuality, Miss, you didn’t fail. You got the highest score in the class.” 

“B-But I got an F…” you protested. “Angus Tully got a B!”

“I wrote an F on your paper, but you actually got a 98,” Mr. Hunham told you. “Near-perfect score, I only took off in your essay question for misspelling ‘Periclean’.” 

“Oh,” you mumbled. “Then, why’d you write an F on my paper?” 

“Because I was disappointed in you,” Mr. Hunham said. You felt sick. Your skin was hot and your stomach roiled, and hot tears pricked at your eyes. “I heard from Ms. Crane that you were leaving Barton.” 

You nodded silently. 

“And why is that?” Mr. Hunham asked. 

You sighed. “I miss my old school,” you admitted with a thick throat. “My old friends. Nobody likes me here, and I… Just think I’d be better off back home. I’m not a Barton person.” 

“What is a Barton person to you, Miss?” Mr. Hunham asked. His hands were clasped at his chin, his bifocals in his fist. He seemed genuinely concerned about you. 

“Someone not me,” you said. “Rich… Smart… Important. All those guys are gonna go to good colleges, and I’m gonna be stuck waiting tables my whole life.”

“You are smart, Miss,” Mr. Hunham told you. “You passed all your classes with flying colors, you made Latin look like a piece of cake. If you wanted to, you could go to any college in the country. Or the world!”

“I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for that stupid lottery,” you mumbled. “I don’t belong here, sir, we both know that.” 

Mr. Hunham fixed his mouth in a thin line and sighed, and he said, “Of course. Well, I do hate to see you go. Your essay on the siege of Troy was… Very good.” 

“Thanks,” you mumbled. “Umm, have a nice Christmas, I guess… See you around.” 

Chapel that day felt exactly the opposite to your first chapel at Barton. The dread that had filled the air at the beginning of the semester had now changed to an excitement about going back home, and, even though you still felt like everybody was staring at you, you couldn’t shake the feeling. You were done. You had made it. After you moved during break, you’d never have to lay an eye on Barton or any of those boys ever again. You had to admit that you were going to miss Ms. Crane, and maybe even Mr. Hunham too, but the positives far outweighed the negatives. 

After chapel let out, you hurried back to Blackwell Hall and grabbed your suitcase and changed out of your nice dress, and you made your way to the front of campus, where a Greyhound bus sat, waiting to take kids into the city. You stepped on board, taking a seat towards the back of the bus, and you looked out the window at one last gaze at Barton Academy. Although, you couldn’t admire the architecture or the pretty way the snow glistened in the midday sun. No, you could only see the tall, lanky, dark-haired kid standing on the steps of the chapel, waiting for someone. 

Even though you despised Angus Tully and didn’t really care if he lived or died, it was a sad sight to see him waiting like that. He looked so dismayed and forlorn, his suitcase at his feet, his hands in the pockets of his winter jacket. Maybe in another world, you and Angus could have been friends. Your mind wandered, thinking of meeting Angus somewhere else— your mind conjured the image of a bookstore, reaching for the same book and having a little back and forth on who should have it, before Angus acquiesced, but not before writing his phone number in the book. 

The rumble of the bus nearly lulled you asleep on the two and a half hour drive to Boston, and you roused yourself as the bus pulled into the station. Gathering your things, you departed, along with a handful of other Barton boys. They quickly found their families that were waiting on them, and you wandered through the station. Your mother hadn’t indicated who would be picking you up, or where in the station to meet them, and you made your way to a payphone. You were sure she was at work, but you wondered if you could call the restaurant and ask for her. Before you could put your dime in the phone, though, you heard your name being called, and you looked to see an older man smiling at you from across the room. 

Fear flashed hot in your face, but you kept your composure as the man approached you. “Hey, you look just like how your mom described you,” he laughed. “I’m Rich.” 

“Who?” you asked. 

“Rich,” he repeated. “I’ve been seeing your mother for a few months. She’s working the afternoon shift, and your sisters are both busy, so your mom asked me to get you.” 

“Oh,” you nodded. “Right, yeah. It’s nice to meet you.” 

“You seem tired,” Rich told you. “Long day?” 

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” you chuckled. “I’m just glad to be done with Barton, that place can go to hell.” 

“I thought Barton was a boys’ school,” Rich mumbled. 

“It’s a long story,” you sighed. “But whatever, that’s in my rearview now.” 

“Alright,” Rich said. He seemed confused, but he took up your suitcase for you. “We already put fresh sheets on the pullout, so when we get back, you can take a nap if you want—”

“The pullout?” you repeated. “Am I not sleeping in my room?” 

Rich winced. “Ah, well,” he began. “You see, my daughter is sleeping there, and—”

“Your—” you started. “Why is she in my room?” 

“The bed was vacant,” Rich shrugged. “She’s lived there for a few months now.”

“And why is your daughter living with my mom?” you asked. “Do you… Did you move in?” 

“Well, when your mother and I got married, we figured it was the logical thing to do.” 

Your heart nearly stopped. Married. Your mother had gotten married, and hadn’t told you a single thing about it. No wedding invite, no pictures, not even a ‘hey, Rich and I are getting hitched!’ You felt sick and lightheaded, and you tried to take a steadying breath. It just sounded all shaky and unsure, though, and it made you feel even worse. “I, uh…” you began. “I…” 

“What’s wrong, pumpkin?” Rich asked, and the camel’s back broke. Nobody can call you that but your mom. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” you asked. “Rolling in here, doing all this bullshit, and for what? Are you trying to prove something? Win an award or what? Let’s see how quickly we can marry the single mom, that’ll go down great with her three adult children!” 

“Rachel and Anna said they were okay with it,” Rich said. 

“But you didn’t ask me!” you cried. “God, this is exactly what she wanted, huh, throw me in a boarding school and forget all about me? Fuck this, I don’t need this.” You snatched your bag from Rich and turned on your heel quickly, and you didn’t even hesitate when Rich called “Where are you going?” 

“Anywhere but here!” 

You begged and pleaded with the Greyhound driver to take you back to Barton. He said that he had to stick to a schedule and was really sorry, but he changed his tune when you dug into your bag and grabbed your pocketbook, pulling out a few 20s. You didn’t have a lot of money in the first place, and watching those bills go in his pocket hurt, but, in the end, you got back to Barton just as the sun was starting to set. You knew that whoever was staying over break would be shocked to see you (maybe even elated, depending on who it was), but you didn‘t care about reactions. You just didn’t want to think at that moment. 

You followed the low din of boyish muttering to the cafeteria, and you steeled your nerves for entering. You could discern only two voices, maybe a third if you listened through the thick door hard enough, and you quickly pushed on the metal handle in the middle of the door to slam the door open. 

Heads whipped towards you. You didn’t recognize a lot of them— some younger kids, and a guy that was on the football team and was a senior— and your heart sank into your stomach when you saw Teddy Kountze sitting at the dinner table. So you would be spending Christmas break with Teddy. Great. 

But the bad feeling got worse when you saw who was sitting one seat down from Teddy. Angus fucking Tully. He stared at you with no joy or humor in his eyes, and you huffed out a breath. 

“Miss?” Your gaze went to the head of the table, and a little bit of relief washed over you as you saw the face of Mr. Hunham. Was he supervising the holdovers? “What’re you…?” 

“Got room for one more?” you mumbled, approaching the table and securing the seat between Teddy and Angus. You instantly reached for the serving dishes, wanting anything to occupy your shaking hands, and you slowed to a stop as you noticed the whole table staring at you; even Angus wasn’t trying to hide it, his black eyes as big as dinner plates. “What?” you barked, and the energy resumed at the table in a snap. 

Dinner was finished soon after, and Mr. Hunham pulled you into the hall as the boys were cleaning up. “I thought you were going home to Boston for the holiday?” he asked gently. 

“I can’t…” you started. “It seems like I don’t even have a place in my own family.” 

“What do you mean?” Mr. Hunham asked. 

“My mom got married without telling me,” you told him. “And the guy and his daughter moved into our apartment, which could barely fit me and my mom and sisters in the first place, and now they’re there, a-and she’s in my room! That fucking bitch is in my room, and I-I—” 

“Easy, easy,” Mr. Hunham said, putting his hand out to placate you. “Calm down. Listen, I understand that this is hard, it’s awful, but resorting to that is not what’s going to help you. We’ll find a place here for you tonight, and tomorrow we can call your mother and try to get this straightened out.” 

“Can I not go to my dorm?” you asked. 

“The school shut off heating and plumbing everywhere except the main building,” Mr. Hunham explained. “We’re sleeping in the infirmary.” 

“Jesus Christ,” you huffed. You were so angry that you could kick something. “So now I gotta bunk up with them?” 

“It’s definitely not ideal,” Mr. Hunham mumbled. “But it’s just for one night. We can put up a partition, if that would make you more comfortable.” 

“Fuck it, whatever,” you sighed. Your eyes hurt, and a headache was starting to throb at your skull, and you said, “I don’t care.” 

The boys were split into two rooms, the youngers (and Angus) in one, and Teddy and Jason in the other. The only other empty bed was in Teddy and Jason’s room, and you were quick to settle in and start off for the bathroom. Just as you were leaving, though, a beanpole in a white shirt and flannel pajama pants stopped you in the doorway. 

“Hey,” Angus said curtly. “Where’re you going?” 

“Shower,” you told him. “Brush my teeth, stuff like that.” 

“Why did you come back?” Angus asked. “A little birdy told me that you were quitting Barton.” 

“I…” you started. You wanted to tell him everything, but you were worried about the leverage he’d have if he knew. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.” 

“Nah, I think it is,” Angus said with narrowed eyes. “We know why everybody is holding over. His parents are on a mission trip, his family is in Korea, Kountze The Cunt’s having his house remodeled, and Jason’s dad is waiting for him to cut his hair. Why’re you here?”

“Why’re you here, Angus?” you asked. “I thought you were going to St. Barts or St. Kitts or something.” 

“Obviously not,” Angus said quickly. 

“Then, I’m obviously not quitting Barton,” you said, and instantly regretted it. “I might be… Haven’t decided yet.” 

“What, don’t you like it here?” Angus asked. “Isn’t it a glorious beacon of education and brotherhood—” He stopped himself, dramatically clenching his fist in front of his face. “Oh, that’s right. Brotherhood.” 

“Shut up,” you huffed. 

“C’mon, man, leave her alone,” you heard Jason start from the room behind you, but Angus either didn’t hear or didn’t care.

“You left, and then came back,” Angus said. “What’s wrong? Mommy decided she didn’t want you anymore?” 

You couldn’t help yourself from letting your tears spill over your lashes, and you clenched your teeth. Angus held your eye contact for longer than you thought he would, and he only averted his eyes when your tears gathered at the corner of your mouth. You drew in a shaking breath, aware that everybody was staring at you, watching you cry, and you sniffled and left the room without another word. The showers were empty, and you jerked the handle to start the water, then locked the door to the room. 

Your tears flowed freely then, and you sat on the tile floor and sobbed into your hands. You hoped that Angus could hear you crying from down the hall, and you hoped that he felt bad about his words. Knowing him, though, he had forgotten about you as soon as you left his eyeline. 

By the time you finished your crying and your shower, the lights were off in both the rooms, a soft snoring coming from Teddy and Jason’s (and your) room. Your pajamas didn’t feel like they were enough for the cold in the infirmary, and you edged by the snoring Teddy in his bed to get to yours. The sheets were crinkly and dry and rough, and you bundled the wool blanket up to your chin as you tried to sleep. 

That was destroyed, though, when you heard a “Psst!” come from the doorway. 

You sighed. “Fuck off, Angus,” you mumbled sleepily. 

“Just— Can I—?” Angus huffed. “I’m trying to apologize to you.” 

“I don’t want your fuckin’ apology,” you said. “Just leave me alone.” 

“I shouldn’t have said that to you,” Angus whispered. “I was… Out of line. Or projecting or something, I don’t know. My mom and stepdad went to St. Kitts, but uninvited me so they could celebrate their honeymoon. I guess I’m just familiar with how it feels to not be wanted.” 

You sighed and rolled over to face the doorway, and you settled yourself up on your elbows. “Can you just…” you started. “Think before you speak? I know it doesn’t really seem to matter to you, but sometimes, words hurt. Like, really hurt.” 

“I know,” Angus mumbled. “I’m sorry.”

“You really have to work on not being a huge asshole,” you told him. “You know, nobody here likes you. They all call you names and shit.” 

“I know,” Angus said. “I don’t care. But you’ve gotta try to not be so judgmental. I think you write off everyone here because we’re from different tax brackets. Some of us don’t have it easy.” 

You pressed your lips together. “Fair enough,” you said finally. “I’ll, um… Keep that in mind.” 

“Alright,” Angus said. “Good night, then.”

“‘Night,” you said, and you watched Angus stalk out of the doorway and back to his room. You sat for a few moments more, thinking about how easily Angus had read your thoughts, and you wondered if the other boys could see right through you as easily. You were almost humiliated all over again at the thought that everyone could read you like that, but it didn’t matter. When the morning came, you’d call your mother and work out whatever the problem was, and you would be home in Boston by the next night. 

It didn’t work out that way. You called your mother twice in the morning; the first time, she didn’t pick up the phone, and the second, she would hardly talk to you. “Mom, I just wanna know what happened,” you pleaded. “Why didn’t you tell me? I-I would’ve been supportive!”

“Would you?” your mother asked. 

“Yes!” you sighed. “I wouldn’t have been happy, but I would’ve accepted it if you were happy!” 

“Then, why can’t you accept it now?” she asked. 

“Because you didn’t tell me!” you replied. “You didn’t ask me how I felt about it, if I wanted it to happen, if I even like the guy—  I hadn’t even met him once before you did it!” You paused, chewing your lip, and you said, “Mom. Tell me the truth. Are you pregnant?” 

“No, pumpkin, I’m not,” she sighed, but you could tell she was nearing her wit’s end. 

“Is that why you hurried to marry him?” you asked. “I-I’m telling you, I don’t care that you got married, I’m just upset because you didn’t tell me!” 

“Okay, stop,” your mom said firmly. “I thought you’d be happy for me, baby.” 

Anger flared in your stomach. “Dad hasn’t even been gone for a full year yet,” you mumbled. “And you’re already replacing him.” 

“We all mourn differently, pumpkin,” she said. “I’m sorry that you can’t see that Rich makes me happy. I... I don’t feel lonely with him.”

“Well,” you sighed. “If this is how you mourn Dad, I don’t think I wanna come home. I think I’ll stay at Barton.” 

“Where are you gonna go after the holiday ends?” your mom asked. 

“Staying here,” you said plainly. “I can personally go up to Central and withdraw my paperwork over break. If you want to erase me and my father from your life so bad, then you’ve got your fuckin’ wish.” You slammed the phone back on the receiver with shaking hands, and you turned to leave the front office, only to run straight into— 

“Fuck off, Angus,” you sniffled, side-stepping him and starting down the hall, back to the infirmary. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” Angus said quickly, snatching your wrist in his hand and tugging you back. “What happened? Are you going home?”

“No,” you sighed. “I’m staying here. I never wanna see any of them again.” 

“You said something about your dad…” Angus mumbled. “Is that true? Your dad’s dead?” 

You wiped at your eyes, and your chest went hot. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” you mumbled. 

Angus sighed, and, for once, he did something nice for you. He pulled you into an embrace, not too tight but not so loose that it felt like he didn’t care, and you pressed your cheek into his shoulder. “My dad’s dead too,” Angus whispered. “You don’t have to talk about it, but… I sorta get it.” 

You sniffled again, and you finally let your arms wrap around Angus’s thin body. You sat in silence for a moment, hugging each other, and you only parted when you heard a small scuttle from down the hall, near the infirmary door. Your head turned to see the youngest kid, Alex, standing, watching you two, and you stepped away from Angus and wiped your face. “Guess I’m staying,” you mumbled. 

“Guess so,” Angus echoed. 

The days were monotonous. Hunham would wake you up when the sun rose with a declaration of “It’s daylight in the swamp!”, and you would go through the routine of studying, then exercise, then more studying, then a little bit of free time. In the absence of gym class for months, the exercising was a little difficult, and you were left exhausted and panting every time, and you felt awkward with the guys around. However, after that brief moment with Angus, he had started to be… Better. He was still a dick most times, but he would do little things for you now; pass you the lunch dishes instead of sliding them in your direction, offer to sharpen your pencil during study time. It seemed that finding a similarity had broken his shell for you a bit, and you appreciated it. 

You had taken to helping the cook with meals. Mary Lamb was a good woman that you had minimally interacted with (she had come and given a lesson in Home Ec about cooking, which really nobody paid attention to, but you had made a point to), and you felt a special kinship with her because of her Curtis. She was the only one you told the truth about your father to, and you knew that Mary wouldn’t say anything to the others about it. She seemed as if she appreciated the help in the kitchen, especially from someone who was competent there like you were. You liked talking to Mary, hearing her stories and letting her hear yours. 

Just as you were starting to think that maybe break wouldn’t be all that terrible, less than a week into it, things changed. You shivered in the cold library, despite your sweater, and you tried to focus on the textbook in front of you, but it was nearly impossible. Angus was sitting next to you, and, every so often, his hand would inch out and he would doodle a little figure in the corner of your notebook. You rolled your eyes jokingly at him, trying not to laugh so Hunham wouldn’t fuss at you, and you shifted in your seat a bit to reach Angus’s notebook. You began to crudely sketch him, big dark eyes and messy hair, and he stifled a snort. Mean, he wrote underneath your sketch. 

Accurate, you countered. 

Before either of you could write anything else, there came an odd sound from outside. It was quiet at first, but it grew louder and louder, and you looked upwards, as if the ceiling of the library would allow for any sort of view of what the noise was. It was a loud chopping noise, growing ever louder and louder, drawing the attention of all of you, and even Hunham closed his book and said “What the hell is that?” 

But, from across the table, a smile grew on Jason’s face, a knowing grin, and, all at once, everybody stood from their seats and went to the window. You couldn’t see as well as the others, being shorter than everyone else, but Angus put a gentle hand on your side and pushed you in front of him, letting you get closer to the window. His hand, positioned just above your hip on your torso, made a shiver run down your spine, but you attributed it to the sight of a goddamn helicopter buzzing overhead, lowering itself onto the snowy, abandoned football field. “I knew it!” Jason exclaimed. “He finally caved, the big softie!” 

“What the fuck is that?” you asked quickly. 

“Jason’s dad owns a helicopter,” Angus explained under his breath as Jason pushed away from the window with excitement. 

“Any of you guys like to ski?” Jason called as he left the library, and the younger boys gasped with excitement. You all caught onto the idea at the same time, and the boys filed out, following Jason, but you stayed still at the window, watching the helicopter’s blades slow to a stop. 

“Miss?” Hunham asked, and you closed your eyes. “Aren’t you going with them?”

You shrugged, hoping to seem less hurt than you actually were. “I can’t,” you said. “I don’t have any skiing gear or whatever, I’ve never even done it before… And anyway, I’m not about to call my mom to ask for permission to do that.” 

You sat in the hallway outside the office as Hunham called all of the boys’ parents, being granted permission for the excursion, listening as each boy reacted with glee. It felt like a sick joke; of course you were left all alone again. Before you could ruminate on it for too long, the beanpole came and sat himself next to you, quiet as he scratched absently at his chin. 

“Want me to get you anything from up there?” Angus asked. “Fridge magnet or postcard or…?” 

You shook your head. “No,” you managed with a heavy, thick throat. “Thanks, though.” 

Angus sighed, his eyebrows furrowing together as his jaw tightened, and he tilted his head towards you. His dark eyes looked soft, kinder than you had ever seen from him or thought was capable, and he said, “Sorry.” 

You couldn’t help yourself. Your tears spilled and you clawed your fingernails into your palm, trying to stop from sobbing and heaving, and Angus moved closer to you, until his hip touched yours. He slung a skinny arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his body, his hand gently pressing into your head and ushering you to hide in his neck. He shushed you, whispering “If Hunham sees you crying, he’ll think I did it”, which did nothing other than make you laugh a little and sniffle hard. 

You quickly parted from Angus’s warmth, wiping your eyes with your hand and seeing your mascara smear on the back of your hand. “Gonna go to the bathroom…” you mumbled, and Angus nodded, keeping his seat as you stood up and hurried down the hall. The women’s bathroom next to the office was hardly used, only ever you, Ms. Crane, and the lone visitor using it, and you clutched the porcelain sink as you gasped for breath. Jesus Christ. Would anything ever go your way? Being stuck at Barton over the holidays with the other boys sucked, sure, but now you were all alone with Hunham and Mary. Alone again. You wondered if you’d always be alone. 

You ripped off a paper towel and dabbed at your eyes, trying to fix your makeup, and you pressed cold water to your face to try to calm yourself down. Fuck everything about this. It was unfair. Maybe Hunham would take it easy on you, loosen the reins a little. You trashed the paper towels and adjusted your sweater, trying to seem put-together, and you stepped out of the bathroom to see Hunham and Angus standing outside the office, embroiled in an intense conversation. “... Just one more time, please,” you heard Angus say, and Hunham put his hand up. 

“There’s no point,” Hunham said. “The front desk says they’re not answering. He says they’re away on some excursion.”

You started closer, and you watched Angus’s face fall, his eyes narrowing. He mumbled something under his breath, and Hunham harrumphed. “I’m as disappointed as you are, if not more so,” he said. “I could’ve been spending the rest of my vacation reading mystery novels.” 

“Angus?” you said, and he slid his eyes over to you. “Are you… What’s happening?” 

Angus shot Hunham a deathly look, and he side-stepped your teacher, brushing past you, his arm knocking your shoulder. You locked eyes with Hunham, then quickly turned and started off after Angus. His long legs had carried him down the hall quicker than you were capable of, and you sped up a bit. “Angus!” you called for him, and you finally came up on him at the door to the infirmary, taking his arm in your hand. “What’s going on?” 

“I’m staying here,” he said bitingly. “Mom and Stanley aren’t answering their phone.” 

On some level, you were glad Angus was staying. At least it wouldn’t be just you there. And you were glad it was Angus, as opposed to Teddy or someone else. “Oh,” you managed. “Well, umm…” 

“You don’t have to say anything,” Angus said flatly. He leaned up against the doorway to the infirmary, listening to the other boys packing up, and he added, “In fact, I’d rather you didn’t say anything.” 

You sighed, flicking your eyebrows. “Got it,” you mumbled. Your eyes lifted from the floor to see Ye-Joon, bag in hand, and he softly bid Angus a happy holidays, giving you a curt smile as he edged out of the infirmary. Jason lightly touched Angus’s arm as he told him to take care, doing the same to you before he departed, and you made eye contact with Teddy as he shouldered his bag. He didn’t have his sights set on you, though; he spoke to Angus. 

“I guess that just leaves you and the chick, huh?” Teddy asked. “Be sure to do all your homework— and no funny stuff while we’re gone.” 

If you could have swung a punch at Teddy, you would have. All the boys at Barton were the exact fucking same— Secretarial Studies, sex jokes, it was never-ending and never-changing. You watched Angus’s neck go flushed, and Teddy added, “Oh, almost forgot! I found that picture you were looking for.” Quickly, he stuck a square Polaroid in Angus’s shirt pocket, and a smile crossed Teddy’s face. “Merry Christmas, Mr. Tully. You too, Miss. See you after break.” He winked at you, making your skin crawl, and he departed the room with a chuckle as Angus snatched the picture from his pocket. From your vantage point, you couldn’t see what it was, only the back that read HAPPY HOLIDAYS, but Angus’s mouth screwed up at it, and he flicked it down onto the ground. Your eyes followed it, and you saw a portrait of a family, a mom and dad and a boy, and you recognized the dark eyes and sunken features of the boy. But, in a blank space of the picture, in Teddy’s handwriting, an arrow pointed to the boy and declared “Fuckwad”. 

The cold was biting, even through your coat, as you stood on the football field and watched the boys load into the Smith’s helicopter. Your hands were deep in your pockets as you stared into space, wondering if it could get any worse. As the helicopter took off, the wind blew your hair back, and you watched as it rose, up, up, and away. A heavy energy fell over you three, and your teacher let out a heavy sigh. “Well, let’s make the best of it,” Hunham said, flat but trying to put fake life into his words. The look in Angus’s eyes was harsh enough to kill, and Hunham averted his gaze from him over to you, his two little wards, the holdovers. “Shall we?”

[sleepyangelkami]

You having a secret crush on ellie and you keep it to yourself but she finds your diary one day and she can't help herself so she reads it when you go to the bathroom

DEAR DIARY e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 3.4K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY - you and ellie have been best friends for as long as you can both remember. she was the artist, you were the writer. you both respected one anothers hidden sketchbook and diary. until one day you're taking much too long in the shower and it's just... sitting there! ellie can't help herself and she finds out a little secret.

 ☆ WARNINGS - snooping? tinsey bit of angst if you can even call it that, touch starved reader, sort of loser!ellie a little, lil crying, petnames, use of y/n like once, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread 🩷

for as long as you could remember, ellie had been your number one. she was your best friend in the entire world, you told her everything and she told you the same in return. okay maybe not... everything. there was one thing you'd been having an awful hard time keeping to yourself. though, you were sure it was much better in than out.

you and ellie were like an orange and black cat, you were fire and ice, the sun and moon, a writer and an artist.

ellie drew a lot. you'd seen multiple of her drawings before. you remembered the first time she'd doodled a frog onto your arm during a boring lecture from tommy and maria. she gave you a confused look to your state of shock. but you were merely surprised. sure, you knew she could draw. but you didn't know she was that good.

you were the writer. ellie was well aware of this. whether you had your laptop propped up on your knees, writing away or a pen in hand scrawling letters around the little pages. ellie always thought your handwritting was nice. it was much better than her fat chunky lettering that everyone always seemed to have trouble reading. she'd always watch the way your pen would dance across the page, so easily and smoothly. she was almost jealous.

you'd both grown to understand the boundaries of her drawings and your writing.

two things were off limits. one, was her big black bulky sketchbook that she often brought around to your house or sat under her arm. two, as your pink journal. she'd seen it once, questioning you what book was falling out from your locker drawer. you were honest with her. you told her it was your diary, the book you cherished the most, the book she could never read.

at first, ellie was a little taken aback.

sure, she knew everyone had their own secrets but it was you. you told ellie everything, or so she thought.

"oh, thank god." she spoke, pushing her jacket off as she walked into your house, right through the front door. the snow from outside decorated the crown of her head and the tip of her nose. "i was looking everywhere for that." discarding her wet boots at the door. "thought i lost it."

"nope." you chimed from your place at your kitchen counter. your stools had been the very ones joel had built for you. well, not for you. he really built them for anyone but when no takers raised their hand, you sort of felt like you had to. ellie laughed at you, stating nobody would want to sit at your kitchen counter ever again. "right here."

ellie soon made her way across the kitchen, taking the sketchbook from your hands softly. "you didn't... look at anything, did you?"

you shook your head from side to side. "'course not, els." that beloved nickname that had her cheeks turning pink. "'s the same way i wouldn't want you reading my diary. i wouldn't look at your sketchbook like that." god only knew what ellie williams was drawing on the cream coloured paper.

she breathed a sigh of relief, believing you. "okay, thank you." though she still had a gnawing feeling at the bottom of her stomach. what if you did? i mean, you wouldn't do that much less lie to her afterwards. but what if. once the thought entered her head, she had a hard time getting it to leave again.

"wanna watch a movie?" you questioned, placing your chin on your hands that had been propped up by the elbows onto your kitchen counter.

ellie sat herself on one of the white stools, not the wooden ones joel had made. "whatcha have in mind, sweetheart?" it wasn't often that ellie came over for less than a day. i mean, you two were practically attached together by the hip. if ellie was at your house, and even just for something as small as to collect the sketchbook, she was more often than not staying over.

you hummed, your lips pressed together. try as you must but you never were able to play off the stammering and flustered appearance as she called you those pretty names. but that was sort of the whole point, she liked the way your cheeks heated up. "something christmassy." you spoke. "like the muppets or something."

the girl merely raised a scarred brow at you. "it's november."

you huffed out a sigh, rolling your eyes. "'s never to early for christmas, els."

that was enough for ellie, she supposed. after this short interaction in the kitchen, you both ended up sat atop your living room couch, you fishing around with the remote. thankfully, she'd agreed on the muppets christmas carol, and you were not about to give up the oppertunity to watch your favourite movie with your favourite person.

a hand came down to your side, gently rubbing up and down gently. suddenly, the buttons on the controller seemed hazy and you blinked not once, not twice but three times, a breath falling from your lips. her fingers were so long and pretty, gently soothing the bare skin from underneath your shirt, barely hitting against your stomach. it wasn't much but for a touch starved girl alike you, it was enough to have your stomach in knots, your mind blurring into one big watercolour.

ellie seemed to have taken notice to the way your entire demeanour changed, her brows barely moving. "something wrong, baby?" you couldn't tell if she were being serious or not. perhaps it was because everything seemed hazy but truly, you couldn't distinguish whether or not she was trying to fool around with you or if her words had really been spoken with such innocence.

did she know what she was doing to you?

you cleared your throat, bee stung lips rolling. "lets jus' watch the movie, els." pressing what you assumed was the start button and watching as the screen lit up. avoiding the question completely.

you'd missed the way her lips curved up into a smirk.

of course, ellie williams was well aware of the effect she had on you.

you see, you'd been hiding this 'crush' on your best friend for quite a long time now. but it was times like this that you swore she knew, she had to. of course, she had to be aware of the way you stumbled upon your words around her or the way your face seemed on fire when she used those pretty nicknames on you. that was the thing, she called you the names, nobody else, not even those fuckbuddies of hers.

it begged the question, where did you stand to her?

you'd been best friends for so long now, you were sure she merely called you these things and seemed so impossibly close because she was comfortable with you. otherwise, there'd somehow be a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why she treated you so differently. though, the bigger part of you, the one consumed by romance novels and love letters, the one that consumed romantic films as if it were food, that part of you wanted to believe it was because you were different. well, not you necessarily. you didn't want to be different to all the girls she fucked, well, you didn't really care. you just wanted ellie's feelings for you to be different.

you didn't want ellie to look at you like you were one of those girls that'd spend the night then leave by morning without so much as a breakfast or goodbye.

you wanted her to look at you like you were worth a million stars. the way you looked at her.

you'd been enamoured by her since the day you'd met her and it appeared as though it were obvious to just about everyone other than her. your best friends dina and jesse had instantly picked up on it when you were kids. it was a wonder to both you and them how ellie still hadn't found out.

but even when dina and jesse brought it up, whether there was a teasing tone etched to their words or perhaps they were asking a serious question, you did exactly what ellie told you to do in every other situation. deny, deny, deny. probably the only time you ever took on ellie's advice.

the one person or thing, i should say, that actually knows about this little 'crush' on the auburn haired girl was the little pink notebook tucked away in the side drawer of your room, right next to your desk.

seeing as it was merely ink to a page, you didn't have to hide. you didn't have to become flustered the way you did when talking to ellie and you didn't have to lie the way you did to dina and jesse. you could simply breathe again.

it was the thing you admired most about this little book, the freedom.

you could say anything you wanted about anyone you wanted and nobody would ever know. it'd never leave the little pink book. besides, the only person that knew about your diary was ellie and you trusted her enough not to look through it. the same way you'd never pick up ellie's sketchbook and look through it.

not only because she asked but because you too know what it's like to have something of yours worth so much value. not in money, of course, but in a sense that it truly was yours and nobody elses.

"yes i could." you bit back to the auburn haired girl that sat atop your bed. the movie had ended hours ago, you'd even thrown on another one. this time, ellie got to choose and as always, she chose a horror. you hated horror movies and yet every single time, without fail, ellie was throwing one on.

"no you couldn't." she rolled her eyes. the current debate was whether or not you would be able to survive the scream movies. you were sure that you would, without a doubt but ellie wasn't so sure. "you can barely sit through a horror movie let alone be in one."

"they're just not interesting." you all but pouted, your stomach leaning against the bed as you looked up at her, tight lipped smile on your lips. "they always have the same plot and they're so... gory." it wasn't that you were scared of them necessarily. don't get me wrong, sometimes you're halfway behind ellie, screaming in her shoulder at what you're watching but even then, you still wouldn't choose to watch horror movies even without all the jump scares.

"yeah, yeah." she rolled her eyes again, she seemingly always did that when you were around. "just say you're a pussy."

you narrowed your eyes at her. "am not."

"annabell." the one word sent shivers down your spine.

"that's different." you defended. you hated the movie more than anything else in the entire world, probably even more than you hated ellie's silly jokes (you loved them really).

she cocked a brow. "how so?"

"because!" you exclaimed, flopping onto your back. "that's a scary doll that'll break into my house while i'm sleeping and―i don't know find some really creepy way to kill me. but ghostface?" you huffed out a giggle. "I could take him on."

this time, ellie tilted her head, a smirk on her lips. "really?" as if she didn't believe you at all.

you frowned at that, did she not think you were strong? you liked to believe you were strong, strong enough to take on ghostface? perhaps not. "i could take you on." you scoffed, looking at her arms.

although you wish you hadn't. the way they flexed under her shirt was enough to have your stomach rolling. her arms were the very thing that had you squirming, they were so defined and toned, along with her stomach, showing you what true muscle she had. your head felt nauseous merely looking at her.

she was getting closer to you, watching as you observed her, eyes never leaving her body. "that so?" teasing voice.

but you didn't respond with words, a mere "mhm." falling from your lips though it sort of sounded like a mix between a hum and a whine, you were failing so horribly at keeping your little secret inside.

"show me then."

you'd done this with ellie before, giggles falling from the bedroom door as you attempted to pin ellie down but right now felt so different. the air was off and the tension was rising.

at first, you tried to play it off. you playfully grabbed at her wrist, trying to push her onto the bed. usually, she'd let you win. she loved to see that victorious smirk on your face after she let you beat her. in the back of your head you'd know, though. you could never beat ellie.

but this time, she didn't let you win.

this time, she flipped your wrists and then you completely. your eyes widened when you realised how strong she was. you always knew she was strong, don't get me wrong but never had you been pinned down by her with such force behind her hands. you felt your face heat up and your stomach swirl as the girl landed above you, her head looking down at you with a smirk playing on her lips.

this time, she won.

"whatever." with a little shove, you manged to push her off. she let you, grinning as she sat back on the bed, pride swelling in her chest as she watched you flusteredly try to hide your face. "i have to go shower."

"good." she joked, watching you get up from the bed. "you fucking stink." she watched you grin and stick your tongue out at her, she did the very same in response, watching you enter your bathroom with clothes that had been sitting on your chair now in your hands.

and then, she was alone.

you'd done this the other day, about a week ago and everything changed. it was the day that ellie did the very thing she swore she'd never do and yet she did it anyway.

she just couldn't help herself.

when you were in the bathroom, showering, she'd reached over to the nightstand to look at the photograph you had on it, you and her, icecream on her nose and smeared on your cheek. a week ago, she'd grinned at it, thinking it was the most heartwarming thing she'd seen in months. then, her eyes had glanced to the little pink book that lay beneath it.

a month ago, she'd swear she'd never go near the thing, ever.

a week ago, she opened it and her eyes scanned the page.

she hadn't had any bad intentions, not really. she was just curious as to what you wrote about, what you were keeping so hidden from your dear, beloved best friend. and when she started, she couldn't stop. she soon realised that the lovely words scrawled across the page weren't about how the sunlight peeked through the clouds or how the rain fell into the puddles collected on the ground. the words were about her.

soon enough, she'd made herself believe that if the words were about her, surely, she should be allowed to read it, it was only right.

she waited until the batrhoom door closed before she reached over to the side of the bed. she knew it was wrong, so wrong, it was an invasion of privacy and she knew you'd probably burst into tears if you'd seen it. but you know what they say, curiosity kills the cat.

she placed the book on the bed, attempting to pick up where she left off.

i just can't help but like her!! what does any of this meannnn??? you don't touch someone like that as a friend, you don't call your 'friends' names like that, it's not normal!! i'm reading into this. i always fucking do this, i read into it and then bam! that's it! i'm gonna loose her to this stupid crush. it's not a crush, i think i'm in love with her. no, i can't be. it's a silly crush and it'll be gone in a day. EVEN THOUGH IT'S BEEN YEARS!! i hate myself and the only option is to throw myself off of a fucking cli―

"els, i think i left my―" she'd never shut something so fast in her entire life. ellie's wide eyes shot up, looking at you standing in the front of the bathroom doorway. "w-what are you doing?" you'd barely registered what'd happened, your eyes already burning.

"shit." there really was no way of defending herself. you'd caught her red handed with the book sitting on the bed. "darling, i didn't―"

"you read it." you deadpanned, feeling the tears begin to well up in your eyes. "you read it, you promised me you wouldn't read it!"

but ellie was already standing from the bed, discarding the book completely. "i know, angel, i know, i'm sorry i jus―"

she was attempting to race to the other side of the room, get to you and presumably comfort you. she couldn't stand the tears in your eyes. "do you know?" that you've been helplessly in love with her the past four years and running? her silence gave a response but not one that you were particularly happy with. "do you know?"

her voice was a meak whisper. "yeah, baby, i know."

humiliation, embarrassment, shame,

all you could feel.

you'd been helplessly and hopelessly in love with ellie for as long as time yet never have you truly worried about it getting back to her. dina knew but she'd never squeal, neither would jesse if he knew what was good for him.

that little pink book didn't just know briefly of this 'fleeting crush' it knew everything, every minor detail. ellie consumed the pages, every pen stroke had her name on it. you were sure that the book knew more about this crush than you could ever grasp.

"hey, hey, don't cry." she was up in your face, hands attempting to hold your face, soothing you gently. "hey, i'm sorry, i'm sorry." she kept repeating everything but nothing could stop the way your lip wobbled and your eyes filled to the brim, the dam breaking as a fat tear rolled down your cheek. "okay, just―"

ellie was panicking. she knew how you could get, once you started crying it was damn near impossible to get you to stop. the way your lip trembled served as a constant reminder that she had been the one to put you in this situation, she had made you cry.

before you could even thin, there was a big black book being shoved in your hands. you didn't think to look down, mind to foggy and far away but ellie was already opening it up for you. "angel, look, see?" finally, you pulled your eyes away from the little pink book on your bed, eyes trailing down to the sketchbook. ellie briefly flickered through the pages, your brows pinched together. were they... drawings of you? "i do it too, see?" had anyone ever put their heart on the line merely to get you to stop crying? no. then again, nobody else had ever been quite like ellie williams.

you sniffled, glancing at one of the pictures. it looked so real, as if you were looking at yourself right now, eyes shut and lips sort of smashed against the pillow. "am i sleeping?" you sniffled, mouth sort of dry.

ellie found herself a dark crimson. "well―yeah." she only now realised what she'd done. she just wanted you to stop crying, she didn't think of what she was doing to herself, outing herself like that. then again, it was only right as she'd outed you before.

you swallowed thickly, wiping the tears away with your sleeve. "'s really stalkerish, els." you mumbled and she couldn't help but grin at you.

"i'm really sorry." her voice low enough to have you glancing up at her, straining your ears. "i shouldn't have read it."

you nodded your head. "you shouldn't have." but you couldn't help but feel a little weight lift off your chest. she knew now, at least you'd no longer have to hide it.

once again it left you wondering where you stood.

ellie could see the way your eyes went sort of foggy, blocking her out. she wondered what you were thinking now. "y/n?"

finally, you pulled your eyes away from the ground, looking at her perfect green eyes.

"i love you too."

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[wosoamazing]

Arguments

Summary: You and Leah get into a fight. Based on this request & thank you to the anon for giving me an idea about the fight.

Warnings: None?

A/N: I'm really sorry but the Barça x teen!reader fic, where Rs Dad died before the game might not be the next fic to come out, I will try and finish it however I am just really stuck on ideas for it, if you have any feel free to let me know.

You walk out into the living room, where the rest of the team is. It is team bonding night, which you were invited to even though you’re not part of the team anymore, as you're currently in London visiting Leah and your family, because you can’t play due to your ankle. However you weren’t going to team bonding night as it was one of your friend’s 18th birthday and as much as you missed the team you hadn’t spent time with your friends in ages, and it would be the first 18th you could attend, so of course you didn't pass up to opportunity to party with your friends. When you walked out into the room all eyes were on you, they all seemed honestly impressed, Katie even gave you a grin and a smirk, however your sister’s face showed her clear disapproval for your very not modest outfit. You had a loose black sequin v-neck halter top on, with a pair of denim shorts that were almost too small to be appropriate, and your hair was in a very slicked back high ponytail, with a pink feather scrunchie finishing it off.

“You can’t wear that.” Your sister scowled.

“Oh what, so you only care about how I look, how I’ll damage your reputation.” you sassed her back.

“What's that supposed to mean?” She asked in defence.

“Oh, stop pretending you don’t know what I mean. It’s not like you care about anything else I do…..so why do you care what I wear?”

“I can’t believe you’re giving me attitude right now,” you scoffed at her “honestly, I’m glad you’re at Barça now, at least now I don’t have to deal with you and your attitude.”

“See I knew you didn’t care that I was leaving, you weren’t sad, you were happy.”

“I just hope you don’t treat Alexia like this.” she said, almost waving you off.

“Sorry that we can’t all be as perfect as you, Leah ‘Captain of England’ Williamson. I’m honestly glad I’m at Barça too, it means I don’t have to deal with your judgement daily. And anyway, everyone knows you’re just jealous. Sorry but I can’t help it that I’m better than you.”

“That’s a fucking low blow.” She said as you started walking towards the front door, “Where do you think you’re going in that?”

“To the party, remember. The world doesn’t revolve around you like you think it does.” You snapped back at her before slamming the door behind you.

____

You were waiting out the front, Leah said she would pick you up at 12:00 and with the fight you had you did not want ehr to be there before you were, to reduce the chances of you getting yelled at.

“Y/N/N,” you heard a familiar voice call out, it wasn’t Leah though, it was Beth. You walked over to her car.

“Where’s Leah?”

“Oh, she asked us to pick you up, you can stay the night if you want.”

“Fucking perfect sister my arse, yes please”

____

You woke up to an elaborate breakfast spread on the table, but Beth and Viv weren’t in sight. Walking further out into the main room, you saw a very familiar figure sitting on the couch, it was your sister.

“What are you doing here? Where are Beth and Viv?”

“They’ve gone on a walk. Can we talk?”

“About what, oh let me guess, what I wore last night was inappropriate, my behaviour was inappropriate, I shouldn’t act like that. Blah, blah, blah. I get it whatever.”

“Y/N, sit, we need to talk, I need to talk to you, I need to say something to you” you rolled your eyes at her as you begrudgingly moved to the couch and sat down.

“I’m sorry about last night. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t slightly jealous of you being at Barça, or of Alexia for getting to spend everyday with you. I miss you and I’m sorry, and I was wrong, but that doesn’t mean you should’ve acted how you did, you shouldn’t have snapped.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever” you said with a slight huff, hoping to push her off.

“What?” She replied to you clearly frustrated as she leant back into the couch crossing her arms.

“No one has thought to consider how I actually feel about it, I constantly get asked something surrounding whether I’m having fun at Barça, not how I am finding it, whether I’m coping or not. No one has stopped to think that maybe this is more pressure than I needed, no one has bothered to check that the pressure isn't getting to me. Everyone now expects me to be some sort of goal machine, they expect me to be on a level most experienced players aren’t, they expect me to be some sort of God.” You took deep shaky breath, feeling your lower eyelids droop from the weight of your building tears, before you continued “You haven’t, my own sister hasn’t even, thought about whether I’m coping mentally let alone asking me. You know not once has any single one of you checked in on how I am going with my eating, something you all single handley promised me, Sam has though. And yeah sure I’m having fun but you know how much pressure there is? To improve. To show the world, to show you, to show the national team, to show Arsenal that this was the right choice, to show Barça I was worth the money. I feel like I need to score to get your validity, I constantly feel like I have to show you I am a good player, show you it’s not just because I’m your little sister, and can be moulded into the next generation you. I have yet to show you, to make you believe I am a good player, I deserve it, I deserve it all and I don’t have your name, your name isn’t what is getting me through, its my name, our name, our family name. I constantly am trying to get your approval, I constantly try to not disappoint you but no matter what I do it doesnt work. It just makes you more ashamed of me, and makes you more disappointed with me.” At this point tears were streaming down your face, Leah moved over to sit next to you, pulling you into her lap for a hug. 

“I’m so sorry bug, I know I haven't been the best sister, I am really really sorry.” She said as a few tears escaped her eyes.

[lazycats-stuff]

HEYYY, firstly how are you! I wanted to ask if you could write about a teen male reader with the Batfam. He is kinda like the winter soldier if you know what I mean ( skilled fighter, metal arm..), since he lived with the Batfam he was doing a good mental recovery, but one day he goes back to winter soldier mode on the fam, and they try to get him back to normal again, idk

Thanks you bye !

Hi anon, I'm well and I hope you are doing okay too. I can do it, no worries.

Summary: (Y/N) gets back into the Winter Soldier mode.

Warnings: implications of torture, mind control, mentions of Hydra, Bruce is sad for (Y/N), some violence... And everything else that goes with Hydra and brain washing.

The road to recovery is often a long one. Bruce thought of it when he first saw (Y/N), aka the Winter Soldier. The infamous one, a ghost within the intel community. Many people didn't believe that the Winter Soldier even existed. But the trail of neat and clean murders was the one thing that made Bruce think there is something more.

Of course, the way to get (Y/N) was hell. Hell being and understatement of the decade. Bruce at one thought that he was indeed chasing a Ghost, but something in his mind told him that the Winter Soldier was real. Something in his gut made him chase that ghost.

Months of chasing, fighting and hoping he would be alive by the next encounter, they finally got him. Bruce was lucky to be alive. He hugged all of his kids right then and there. (Y/N) was put into a glass box, strong enough to contain Bane.

(Y/N) refused to back down, refused to retreat. He punched the glass of the cage with his metal arm and some were worried that he would actually brake it. Bruce knew that even if he broke the glass, he had no handler anymore.

His organization has been destroyed. Everyone important was caught. Those who weren't... Well, their time was running out. They may have scattered like rats, but you can bet your ass on anything that the League would find them all. Especially since they didn't burn down their base. One hell of a mistake.

Bruce and the rest searched through the base and they found something that can only be considered as a holy grail when it comes to someone who was brainwashed.

A dark red book, bounded in leather, with all the trigger words written on those pages... Bruce knew that he has hit a jackpot. He looked through them and then has decided to burn it. They also found the footage of (Y/N)'s brainwashing,

The footage, as much as it is damning, making it very easy to persecute anyone they needed, it was also nauseating. (Y/N) was tortured with electricity, memory wiped with electricity... Worse of all, (Y/N) fighting.

It had shaken Bruce to his core and made him triple check the manor security and it has made him check on his sons 5 times that night. He couldn't sleep at all. He refused to sleep that one single evening and night.

And when he stood in front of the glass cage, (Y/N) looked utterly defeated. He was sitting down, looking down at his metal arm and his human arm. He seemed mad beyond belief that he was even caught. Bruce knew he would have to be delicate and gentle with this (Y/N). He had taken the book with him, to try and have some sort of leverage.

And to show him that he was free. (Y/N) was finally free of the mental shackles that they have put on him. Bruce took a chair and sat down near the cell, but far enough to make sure that there was some sort of space.

He couldn't have (Y/N) feel cornered.

He sat down, book in his lap. (Y/N) still looked down, but looked up after a few moments.

" They will come and get me back. " (Y/N) said and Bruce wanted to laugh.

" Hydra is gone. " Bruce simply stated and watched (Y/N)'s reaction.

Nothing. Huh.

" Lies. "

Bruce stayed calm and shook his head. " I'm afraid I'm telling you the truth. The book you see in my hands? The book with your trigger words. Do you really think they would hand it over ever so willingly? " Bruce asked, showing him the dark red leather book.

" You are officially free. " Bruce said as and watched the way (Y/N) reacted.

Bruce nearly broke when he saw hope in (Y/N)'s eyes. He never lost hope.

" I'll never be free... " (Y/N) said quietly, looking at his metal arm. Bruce saw that it was not a nice arms, made with quality. While it looked strong, it wasn't made to be comfortable. And Bruce could see the claw marks at the part where the flesh and metal met.

" That may be true. But you can start healing. You can start working through all of the trauma that they put you through. Mental scars will always be there, but I can help you. " Bruce said softly and (Y/N) was still emotionless and with hope glimmering in his eyes, there was something else too. Bruce could only decipher it as happiness, but he knew that (Y/N) would rather die than admit it.

" I'll be with you the entire way. I have a great friend who can help you unpack everything they put you through. And I can give you a better metal arm, something that wouldn't be so uncomfortable and something that reminds you off the organization. " Bruce said as he looked at (Y/N), holding the book close.

" And what about the book? "(Y/N) asked quietly and Bruce knew exactly what (Y/N) meant.

" It will be destroyed by me. I wanted to show you that the thing keeping you in their grasp is destroyed. Well, will be destroyed. " Bruce said as he put the book down on the chair before moving closer.

" And you can officially start your new life. "

" I'm not sure if I can... " (Y/N) said softly and the defenses were slowly cracking.

" I can assure you, you can. You will have to put some work into it, but it will pay off. I'll be there to help you to start. "

" But the feeling of guilt will never go away, will it? "

" After some time it will. One way is to go through therapy and work it out or you can become a hero. But that only if you want it and after you went through therapy. " Bruce said softly.

" Maybe then I'll atone for it... " (Y/N) said softly.

" One step at the time (Y/N). One step at the time. " Bruce said softly.

And that's exactly what has happened at the time. Bruce made sure to be with (Y/N) before and after the therapy sessions. He made sure (Y/N) knew he had support while he was talking to the Black Canary. And once Black Canary said he could start meeting new people, Bruce slowly started bringing his sons around.

Damian knew exactly how (Y/N) felt. Being in that environment is not easy and it's just the battle of the fittest. And one hell of a battle for your mind. You truly had to be strong enough to make sure to not completely break. Somehow, (Y/N) has kept his humanity, but he had to give a part of his soul to keep it.

Jason just talked to him about stuff and has made sure that he has access to TV shows and movies. (Y/N) needed to be connected to the outside world. And also, Jason has been bringing books for (Y/N) to read. Jason took him his favorites and often took him some classics. (Y/N) appreciated it and liked all the recommendations that Jason has brought to him. It was a nice break.

Tim has always sneaked in some snacks and the two would just talk. It was a hell of a time and since (Y/N) has started school, Tim would help with mathematics and some other subjects. (Y/N) couldn't really go to a public school or any type of school, but he still needs his high school diploma.

And Dick? Dick has been involved in making sure that (Y/N) was getting physical activity. (Y/N) was stiff in Dick's opinion and he wanted to make sure (Y/N) felt good in his body too. Dick did stretches, some tricks and considering that (Y/N) did have some knowledge about gymnastics, it was slightly easier. Not to mention, stretches were something that everyone needs.

About a year after being saved, (Y/N) has moved into the Wayne Manor. It was a nice change of scenery for (Y/N). Beautiful manor, garden, not to mention no noises... And Titus, the Great Dane being an emotional support animal for (Y/N)...

(Y/N) was incredibly happy, but had hard time showing it. Everyone knew but didn't comment on it. They were helping him get adjusted to his new life now and they were more than happy to help. And one thing that made (Y/N) happy out of his mind was the fact that he got a new metal arm. It was black, with red, blue and green accents. It was something to signalized that he was a member of the family.

Bruce was going to adopt him soon enough. Just give him some time and he will do it.

But something happened at the two month mark. Something made him reverse back into the Winter Soldier mode. Bruce was certain that they wiped the triggers from his mind. Not to mention, the boys remembered the trigger words, just in case something like this happened and that they could be careful.

But something must have snapped inside of (Y/N). The boys were careful, but something must have gone awry. Something.

Jason and Dick were the first ones to see it and were the first ones to see it and the brunt end of it. Jason was hurled out the window, while Dick was thrown at the wall like a rag doll. The commotion woke Tim up and Damian was curious as to what was going on.

They were also thrown around the room.

" (Y/N), you are not a Winter Soldier, relax! " Jason said as he made his way through the window, grunting at the pain.

" Please, (Y/N) this is not you! " Dick yelled as he gripped his sides, huffing and panting.

(Y/N), seemingly didn't hear anything and nothing was reaching him. The cold and murderous look in his eyes was more than enough to tell them that they had to subdue him.

Somehow.

Damian jumped on (Y/N)'s shoulders, trying to take his metal arm off. Once they get that off, they are going to be fine. They hope at least.

" (Y/N) come on! Fight it! " Damian raised his voice, trying to make (Y/N) see his senses. (Y/N) didn't listen and threw himself into the wall, back first to throw Damian off and then he threw Damian into the shelves, making him groan in pain.

Bruce walked in from the outside and froze in shock. His adopted sons in various stages of pain and (Y/N) in the Winter Soldier mode. Bruce stayed calm as he glanced over his sons.

They were alive and breathing. That's the important thing right now.

" (Y/N) listen to me. " Bruce said softly as he moved closer, quickly checking on his sons, who were all softly confirming that they were good.

" Look at me. Remember me. It's Bruce. You are safe. The Winter Soldier doesn't control you, you control him. " Bruce said, raising his hands in the air, trying to make sure that he didn't look like threatening.

" You control him, remember that. " Bruce said as he quickly checked on Jason.

(Y/N) looked like he was confused and shook his head. Bruce watched in silence as (Y/N) was getting his bearings together. And once he saw tears falling down his cheeks, he swooped in and hugged his son.

(Y/N) wept as Bruce embraced him and everyone, including Alfred, brought him into a hug. It was a tight hug and Bruce refused to let (Y/N) shatter. And (Y/N) felt safe Bruce's embrace, but by God, guilt was eating him alive.

Apologies were falling from his lips and everyone assured him that it wasn't his fault. It really wasn't his fault.

[fever-fluff]

Cat's Out of the Bag, Claws and All Pt II

Word Count: 3.5k (not proof read) Am I writing this instead of doing my finals? Yes. Is it going to be worth it? I bloody hope so. Please do tell me what you think, I didn't expect the first part to go down as well as it did so I hope this lives up to expectations :D

Synopsis: The fallout of Azriel finding out about the bond is bigger than anyone though it would be

Thoughts swirled in your mind as you tried to find Azriel. You’d checked everyone house, the training ring, even going as far as to walk through Velaris aimlessly until you could spot some trail from your mate.

Gods, how had you messed this up? You knew Azriel’s feelings towards the mating bond. In your first few weeks together, he’d explained everything that had happened to his brothers, how they’d found their other halves in the form of two sisters, and that he was sure the third had been meant for him. It had ached to hear him talk of Elain like that, to know your mate was so sure of another that he could not see you right in front of him.

But the shattered tether between you two had torn long before that. Azriel had been sealed shut to the rope intertwining you two for centuries. You had pushed so much love into that bond in the beginning, so much that it had grown thick and blinding on your end, but slithered to nothing at his. Mor and Feyre had helped you come to terms with that, and you never faulted Azriel for guarding himself so tightly. Rhys had mentioned in a off handed conversation that Az was the toughest out of everyone to breach when he needed to speak with him, that he’d built his mental walls so high of his own suffering even one of the most talented Daementi found it sometimes impossible to penetrate.

So, instead of withering away over a bond that would never snap, you had stopped pouring all your love into something only you could see and began pushing it into your words and actions over time. Azriel had accepted it all, finally overcoming his preconceived loss and accepted the love of his own accord. But now you’d gone and torn down everything you’d built with him in months over a few seconds.

You’d looked all day, and he was still nowhere to be found. So, you’d call it a night and look tomorrow, not looking froward to the cold sheets that awaited you.

Except they weren’t cold, a very real, very sombre looking figure with curling wings sat on you side of the bed. You felt the tears of relief spring to release, and made to sit in front of him, an acceptable distance away so as not to touch him in fear of him turning away.

“Azriel?” you hadn’t felt this meek in eons. The weeks gone by had truly taken their toll.

“Did you just say that today to get them off your back?”

Gods, you truly wished he could feel the bond right about now. Feel how much it pulsed in the admittance one of you believed it didn’t exist. Azriel was your life force, what you lived and breathed for every second of everyday. How could he think this was not real? Any of it?

“No, gods no. Azriel, it’s real. It’s there, I promise you.” If he walked away now, you didn’t think you would be able to handle it. Everything had been good, so good. Was looking to have him all to yourself for a couple weeks the wave that toppled the boat? Was your selfishness the flap of the butterfly’s wings that sent an earthquake through the rest of your life?

But the darkened look from Azriel was enough for you to know this was not about you. He wasn’t asking to catch you in a lie. “I-I can’t feel it. It’s never snapped, and it’s been months. How-how can you still be here?”

Leaving the distance between you had been a mistake. Lunging for you mate, you placed your hands either side of his face, and lifted his tear filled eyes to meet yours. “Because I love you, Azriel. Bond or no bond, I love you.”

He shook his head, “there’s nothing to love. I can’t even feel something so innately ingrained in our beings, how can you find anything worth so much?” he had turned his back to you, standing to walk to the dresser.

“Azriel, do not walk away from me.” Fuck being nice, he never responded to your pretty words when he was like this before, how could you think different now. “Shout at me, curse me to Hel, but never walk away from me.”

“What…what can you find in me that you’d rather me stay than go?!” he was spiralling into the darkness that had swallowed him in the first years he had been in this world. Azriel was throwing you his lifeline, and you reached and tugged on it with everything you had.

“Because you’re made for me! In every sense of the word. You are everything I’ve ever wanted for every century I’ve been alive. And even if you cannot feel that I have been made for you, I will prove it every single day of this life and the next that you are wrong if you think not.”

You had stepped up to him again, searching his eyes to see if he’d truly heard you, “I know you hate those stupid parties, I know you hate it when Cassian leaves his sweaty towels in the ring after training. You don’t like the tea Rhys gives you in your early morning meetings, but you still drink it because its been 150 years and to admit it now would make you look bad. I know that Mor’s perfume, the one she wears when the seasons change from winter to spring, makes your nose itch and you sneeze every time you smell it. You don’t like Elain’s scones because of the raisins, and Feyre’s awful singing to Nyx at the crack of dawn.”

“And I love all of you, Azriel. Every damn part of you. The only thing I would change is how much you allow everyone you’ve let into your heart walk all over you.”

Azriel’s breath hitched and the tears that clung to his lashes finally trailed down his cheeks. “I – I… what if it never snaps. What if the bond never snaps for me? What then?”

Closing the distance that had grown once again between you two, you made to grab for him. Holding his face to yours, you felt your tears fall as your mate’s hands covered your own. “Then I’ll love you even more than I already do. I don’t need you to feel the bond Azriel, if you never feel it, then it’s okay. I will love every broken piece of you, even if I can never put them back together.”

You meant it. Every word. Azriel had been broken too many times for you to even think you could fix what hadn’t been whole since he was born. But those pieces of himself, the ones he clung to so desperately and allowed only a few fae to ever glimpse at were worth so much more to you than anything else. You’d hold them, even if they cut and sliced you over and over, and press them close to your own heart, hoping that the love there would be enough to stop them from shattering entirely.

“Ask me to stay, Azriel, and I swear to you that there will not be a day that you won’t know how much I love you.”

You could see the doubt in his eyes, the fear that one day the half-made bond would not be enough to keep you with him. But you needed him to take that risk. And you would take care of the rest. He needed to have the faith to jump, and it was only him who could make that choice.

And as he closed his eyes, resting his head against yours, you felt your whole world tilt on its axis, ready for the words that would seal your fate.

Stay.

It had been fifty years since that day, and Azriel finally began to understand that you were there to stay.

The weeks after the admittance of there being a bond between you had been some of the toughest he’d ever lived through. But it was no one’s fault but his own.

He’d pushed you repeatedly, subconsciously seeing if you would snap under the pressures he shouldn’t have ever needed to place upon you. Rhys had given you leave of your position for the few weeks, but in the end you hadn’t returned to your post for a full year after everything. His constant tearing at your relationship had snapped and sliced at you so much you had become so tired it was even a chore to fight with him, and he realised almost too late that you would rather endure it than leave, nearly turning you to a shell of yourself.

He'd been gone for nearly two months at this point. The mission shouldn’t have taken this long, but Azriel couldn’t find it in himself to return.

Every time he did, this knawing guilt would eat at his insides about fighting with you once again. It wasn’t your fault, it never was. You tried everything to support him, and yet he kept pushing and even he couldn’t understand why.

Cassian and Rhys had sent word not too long ago that he was needed back at the earliest time possible, and it had been their words, not yours, that spurred him to return to the city.

He should’ve answered your letters.

“She’s not responding to the treatments like she should. It’s too slow, and I fear the malnourishment is starting to outweigh whatever help I can give her.” Madja’s words iced his whole being, Cassian and Rhys looked away in shame.

“Where is she?” the plea in his voice did not go unnoticed by the others, but none seemed inclined to tell him.

“Azriel, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to see her right now. We called you back in case anything serious should happen.” Cassian placed a hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged away from the hold. “You don’t get to make that decision. She’s my mate! I’m supposed to help her!”

“You should tell him.” It was Nesta, coming out from putting Nyx to bed. “Maybe he’ll finally get it through his thick skull if he sees what’s happening.” She’d never used that tone with him, harsh and cold unlike anything he’d heard except the first few months she’d been brought to their court. He felt himself want to cower in the face of Lady Death. You two had always been close, your ability to take on Nesta’s bite and stop it before it festered allowed her to settle a new bond outside of Emerie and Gwyn, something everyone was glad for.

Rhys sighed but relented, and Azriel winnowed to you before any of them could change their minds.

You had been moved to the cabin, away from prying eyes of the fae who’d attempt to do harm while you weren’t your full self. Feyre and Mor had placed extra wards in case, and he had to call to Rhys to ask them to let him through as he felt them blocking his path.

The cabin was warm, fire blazing in the hearth as he made to search the room you were staying in. But the bundle of blankets on the couch had his feet lurching to turn in its direction. You were sleeping, although it was fretful, and the feel of his hand barely grazing your skin was enough to snap you eyes open.

“Az?” You were like ice, and the croak in your voice reminded him of how Feyre had been when Rhys had first called in their bargain all those years ago.

“It’s me.” He reached for your hand, intertwining it with his as he lifted you to sit up. The blankets fell from your form, and his breath hitched to see your bones protrude more than was healthy. Gods, how had he not noticed until now?

Your smile was what broke him the most. Lips chapped, it didn’t reach as wide as it did before, and the warmth it usually held was dulled to a small ember. “Did you get my letters?”

The letters. Oh gods, he hadn’t read any of them. Too scared of his own thoughts that one would be about you leaving before he arrived home.

His reaction must have told you everything you needed, and your smile dropped as your eyes turned like glass. “Did-did you not want to come home?”

Fuck, what had he done?

“I-”

Azriel never finished that sentence. Your head had rolled to the side as he made to catch your falling form. Sitting up had become too much for you, and the little energy you had was expelled in the very few words you’d spoken to him.

Rhys. He called for his brother. Rhys, what do I do? What’s happened?

His answer was almost immediate. Madja says she’s been strained too much. It’s the bond cracking. Even if you can’t feel it, all the fighting has been tearing at it from her end.

He’d done this. He’d torn at her so much he was going to kill her.

Gathering her in the blankets, he lifted her down closer to the warmth of the fire, settling her to his body as he wrapped his wings around them both. Her breathing began to even out as she fell into another shallow sleep, but it seemed she had enough strength to hold onto him, curling her hands in the front of his tunic. “Please stay. I don’ wanna fight anymore, Az. Please, just stay.”

Azriel tightened his arms around his mate, the one who’d given him everything even as he tore her down to nothing in the past few months. “I’m here. I promise, no more fighting. I’ll stay.”

The mark weaved onto the shadowsinger’s skin, burning into it like no other bargain had ever done before. It settled where her head now rested, over the fractured parts of a heart he had refused to allow her to put back together.

But as sleep pulled her further under, Azriel swore he could feel one part stitch itself slowly to another. He’d mend it. If not for himself, then for the woman he had nearly lost to his own darkness.

She wouldn’t leave, he knew that now. But he would no longer make it so hard for her to stay.

Watching now, as she sat having tea in the garden with Elain, Azriel thought of how he’d been so foolish in his first five hundred years of life.

If he’d just waited, and used all those wishes at starfall he wasted on Mor and Elain to instead wish for a chance to meet his real mate, he go back to all that time ago and start over.

You were laughing unabashed at Elain’s annoyance with the sprites leaving bite marks in her prized tulips, keeling over as the middle Archeron shooed them away for the hundredth time.

His own smile turned up at your outward display of happiness. It had taken a while, and months away from one another to get back to this point after he’d realised his mistake. Madja had been helping you recover, while he spent time with the Priestesses to figure out how to get past his own fears and love you like you loved him.

You had sent him word of how you were doing every week, never pressing him to write back but letting him know you’d be waiting when he felt it was right to return. After the first few, he has picked up his own quill and began spilling his thoughts onto paper.

Azriel had realised that while you would put him above all else, that wasn’t always a good thing. He needed to learn how to do that for himself so you wouldn’t lose yourself again. And he had.

He was still the courts spymaster, but his workload had dropped immensely in the past few years. He trusted his spies more often to fill the menial tasks he once filled his time with, and instead spent it doting on you like he should’ve from the beginning.

His heart was slowly mending itself, and he was now more comfortable within himself to not allow the darkness in him to stray from the light.

The last pieces of the puzzle were finally placing themselves back when he’d asked you about the bond and how it felt. You explained to him that it was there, thought it was purely a string of thread between you. Because of the block on one side, you couldn’t feel his emotions or his thoughts, and it had settled something in him he hadn’t realised was so restless.

You truly had loved him for him. There was no extra help from your end, you had to put in just as much as him to make it work.

Grabbing his mug from the counter, he rounded to the door that would lead him out to you. As if sensing him, you turned, and gave him that wonderful smile that had his whole body humming in delight.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.” He wrapped himself around you as you greeted him. “You were dead to the world this morning. I’ve never seen you sleep so soundly.”

His hum vibrated against your neck as he placed a kiss on the tender skin. “I was. Couldn’t wake up even when you left. Something has me more tired than usual.”

Being open with you like this was still new to him, and there was still that knawing at the back of his skull that he shouldn’t be revealing something so vulnerable. But as you turned in his hold and wrapped your hands round his middle, he felt it subside. “Maybe its all those years of running on practically nothing creeping up on you.”

“Maybe.” Even now, his words broke off into a yawn, and he felt himself cuddle into your warmth as a soft breeze blew in.

“Well, its lucky we have the day to ourselves then. I asked Rhys last night if we could take a little break.” He could still feel your apprehension as you spoke. It was still there at times, unsurety settling in when you doubted how he’d react.

“I would love nothing more.” Placing a kiss onto the top of your head, Azriel made to pull away to grab his mug.

“Sit. I’ll get us something to eat.” You made for the door he had walked through, but the smash of ceramic had you head snapping back to Azriel.

“Az?”

His breathing had turned heavy, and all that weight of tiredness had lifted from his body in an instant.

Turning to face you, you watched as he mouthed something you thought you’d never hear from his mouth with such reverence.

Mate.

Fifty years. Fifty years of utter turmoil and love and pain and happiness. All of it washed over him at once. He felt the bond, coiling and snapping and threading its way round his very soul. It was thick, more like rope than a mere tendril. And he felt everything he’d shut out from the very moment of meeting you for the very first time. He watched the realisation hit your face, your hands shaking as if you didn’t know whether to grab for him or stay where you were.

“You- you can feel it?”

He felt his voice choke on the simple yea and it was all it took to have you running into his arms hard enough to force you both to the grass beneath you. Laughter, pure and loving laughter spilled from your lips, and he pulled you as close as possible. His own joined not a minute after.

Azriel felt it thrum from you to him, everything you had to give poured down to his side of the bond, as if it had been waiting for this moment. He supposed it had, and as he took everything you had to offer, he returned it tenfold.

Azriel realised then that it wasn’t his heart from stopping the bond from forming. Even if it was still broken, it would have found a way to wrap around it.

No, the only thing that had stopped it all this time, was he fear of giving everything and receiving nothing. Even when you had shown you would, his own mind had fooled him into believing otherwise.

But you had never blamed him, and the missing part of himself had finally returned home when he had stopped blaming himself.

Azriel knew then that he was worthy of the love you gave him, and that you had been right. Even if the bond had never snapped, he would still love you just as much as you loved him.

Taglist (bold could not be tagged) @kalulakunundrum @imnotsiriusyouare @notsarareallynot @mell-bell @ang-taylorsversion @finleyjaycee @luvletterstogwyn @dwkfan @sagskylar01 @hnyclover

[simpjaes]

i try to not indulge in the idea of stepcest cause it feels so wrong but i need to admit to someone that it’s just so…mmmm. it’s a guilty pleasure soooo let me send this ask before u go crazy heehee

stepbro jay would be one of those guys whose so respectful and nice to everyone but really he’s the worst. during your first family dinner after you and your mom move in with him and his dad, he sits right next to you and keeps his hand on your thighs while laughing with his dad and your mom. later on in the night he comes to your room pretending he wants to talk to you but he actually has you face down ass up, with your face shoved in a pillow so your moans and screams are muffled. he’s so arrogant and mean to you because you’re just an easy access fucktoy for him 🤭

sorry this is being answered so late! anyway, i get that you feel like it's wrong but here on this blog, we support fiction being like, yknow, not fuckin' real.

wc: 1.6k

note: jay and reader are in college living with their good ol' very in love parents. warnings: stepcest, jay is kinda rough lol, use of the word slut

step bro jay appearing like the perfect son and the perfect brother for you?? Your mom always thought you needed some type of male energy in your life that didn't involve boyfriends or her failed boyfriends, and she was really happy to learn how much he enjoyed being around when she and jay's dad eventually got serious and wanted to settle down.

it was a win/win. Your mother no longer needed to overwork herself to take care of herself and you, and you now had someone to lean on too.

And lean on him you did.

What your mother didn't know was the instant attraction you had to Jay. You're a young woman after all, freshly twenty two and so fucking ready to mingle since your last boyfriend was an awful lay. God, if only you had met Jay before your mom fucked his dad. like, for real.

And what Jay's dad didn't know is that he raised an absolute slut. Jay knew the moment he laid eyes on you that he would be encouraging his father to keep it up with your mom. Why? So he can be around you, of course, so he can see if you'd be willing to let him play with you a little bit.

Now though? he's learned that you're moving in alongside your mother and he didn't protest for even a moment. Hell, he practically moved you into your new room himself, trying to officially get on your good side since by this time, the two of you have only gotten to hang out five or six times, and never alone.

~

The first time Jay cornered you was a little surprising, as you thought you were the only one with a sneaky little crush on him. You remember it like it was yesterday (because it was like the same night you moved in).

He was moving the last box into your room as you sat on your floor organizing a small box of knick knacks. Your mother was outside with his father attempting to move in a large vanity that both you and Jay knew would take some time without their help.

"You seemed excited when they told us you were moving in--" Jay starts, sitting down the box and standing in front of you, looking down at you until you make eye contact. "Why?"

You shrug, blinking up and tilting your head.

"It's just nice to see her happy, I guess?" You offer.

"Bullshit, I've seen you checking me out." He says snidely, crouching down to your level and swiveling his head a bit to get a real good look at your face.

Before you can deny it, he smiles and continues.

"You know, I'm kinda into it."

And then he walked out, leaving you there with a crush that grew just a bit more.

The second time he cornered you was after a shower, shortly before one of your classes started. He stepped out of his room the same time you stepped out with dampened skin sticking to your t-shirt. No pants, no bra, just the shirt and panties.

You really should have considered that you live in a house with men now. It doesn't matter how early in the morning it is, anyone could be awake. And of course, Jay was awake.

He stopped in his tracks to check out your legs. Entirely blatant about it before walking up to you. You stumbled back a step, straight into the bathroom as he continued to walk closer and closer. Up until you were against the counter, he was smiling, and then brushed his hand by your waist to grab his toothbrush behind you with a small and cocky whisper of "god, you looked so ready for me to do something else, didn't realize you were that desperate."

So, that was something that stuck in your brain for like, way too long.

The third time was when he did do something else. Your mother was at work, his father too, and you had just gotten home from class. Normally, you've learned that Jay takes classes much later than you do, but he was home today.

God, he was definitely home.

With his hand down his pants.

On your bed.

And, well, you can argue that's probably the moment your crush on him crossed a boundary that would never be spoken of. Because what you did was blasphemous. Your parents should have known not to move in together with two horny college students in tow. Honestly.

You still remember the way his hands felt up your shirt, offering him a bit more than just his imagination there on your bed. He touched you a lot that day, and in turn you touched yourself twice as more on his bed just a day later.

So, that leads to tonight's dinner. Again, the first real dinner you've gotten to have as a "family" and all you can think about is the way your mom dotes on Jay for being such a good, protective brother. And how his father dotes on you, for being such a good influence on his son....despite his son's hand squeezing your thigh as he accepts the compliments and dotes on them right back.

"Thanks for making my dad happy again." "Thank you for always cooking the best meals." "Thank you for making the house look like a home."

God, you roll your eyes at him, really. Because you've already grown accustomed to the dirty, fucked up things he says to you when the two of you are alone. That hand on your leg further proves that he's full of shit and he knows you love it.

The worst part is that you do. Despite telling him that night you let him touch you that it would never happen again. Despite him not knowing that you have had at least three orgasms against the very pillow he lays his head on at night.

Anyway, it's wrong. And you continue to brood over the fact that you genuinely can't let yourself be weak again around him. No matter how much you want him, no matter how much he appears to want you.

He knows you set a boundary last time, and since then he hasn't approached you again until now, with his hand squeezing up your thigh until you jolt under the touch and alert your mother.

You dodged her questions, swiped his hand away, and finished your meal as quietly as you could before immediately heading back to your room.

"What's up with her?" Jay's father asks, looking at your mother.

"I'm not sure..."

Jay stands up, smiling genuinely and innocently at both of them.

"I'll go talk to her. She mentioned something about a fight with one of her friends the other day. She's probably upset about it or something"

The parents beam at him, despite his blatant lie as he makes his way to your room.

And, well, you're bad at keeping your own boundaries apparently because the second he walked into your room was the second you fell apart. As if his hand on your leg didn't already have you crumbling.

"You're too obvious." He scolded. "I just touched your leg, relax. At least let me get something out of this if you're not gonna put out for me after all that from before." He continued.

You just sat there staring at his angry whispered words.

"Jay--" You started in a half moan, but he continued.

"What's so bad about wanting to fuck anyway? You're right here, and you want it. I mean, look at you." he waves his hands at your body, and the way your fingers are clearly inside of yourself. "Me touching your leg has you up here trying to reach places that only i'd be able to reach."

"Then do it--" You cut yourself off this time, moving your fingers and scissoring them open in hopes that he would really give it to you despite your protests from the last time.

He's so fast with it too, grabbing you by the ankles and pulling you down the bed before shoving you to roll over. There, you immediately arch your back and perk your ass up at him. He shakes his head in pity, but the smirk on his lips tells you that he likes it. He probably loves when girls do this for him. And he reacts even more to it by pulling the loose shorts down your thighs, and then spreading your legs.

"Fuck, I knew you'd let me." He praises himself more than you. "Put your fingers back in, let me see what you what you were doing up here all by yourself."

You found yourself listening instantly, sliding in two fingers and hiding your face in your pillow. This only pushes him further, glancing up at the way you hide from the act, then licking his own fingers and sliding them in along side your own.

"What would your mom say?" He laughs, lifting himself now and placing his hand on the back of your head. "Hm? Do you think she'd be interested to find out how much of a slut her daughter is?"

All you can do is nod brokenly against the harsh feeling of his palm against your head, and the way he slides his fingers into you, forcing pressure on your own.

"You're gonna take it, right?" He continues, watching those broken nods continue before he's pulling his fingers out of you, pushing your face further into those pillow, and shoving his pants down just enough to get his cock out.

"Yeah, fuck, look at it. You want it so bad." He seethes out through gritted teeth, staring at the way your needy cunt clenches around your fingers in reaction to the loss of his. Then he's slapping your wrist to remove your fingers and immediately pushing into you. Giving you exactly what you want, and all of that.

He's such a good brother, for real.

There, he doesn't relent or let you breathe even for a moment. All you can hear is ringing in your ears and the sound of him grunting out words of, "god, you're so fucking tight." and "dripping all over me, you really thought I'd stay away?" and "yeah, fuck, just take it."

And you do. You take it. Biting into the pillow through the pleasure and immense guilt of loving the way your strep brother's cock pulses inside of you. Loving the way he fucks hard and fast. Loving that he slides in deep every fucking time.

So much for talking.

Then again, you clearly weren't in the mood to talk anyway.