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#i don’t actually know i haven’t read it recently
vintagepresley · 2 days
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I don’t want to be this person. But I feel like that new Elvis confessions account on here is just a gateway for people to start drama and spew their hate for people in this fandom and how others choose to love Elvis or how they write about Elvis and to basically shove down our throats how to be an Elvis fan “the right way”.
I just saw one of their recent posts about basically the fandom not being the same and how people don’t care about him and how people used to talk about his music and movies. Now people in the fandom only care about writing smut about him and don’t even know his songs or movies. Then saying how calling him “big daddy” is disgusting.
Huh? What? I don’t know what part of the fandom this person is on but we are constantly talking about his music and movies. I feel like most of the people in this fandom have seen all of his movies. But also some can’t depending on where they live in the world so it could be harder for them to watch them. He’s got so much music to listen like you can’t be mad if EVERYONE hasn’t heard every single fucking song. There’s actually some people who just joined and are still learning. It’s not that serious. Stop acting like you weren’t once new to being an Elvis fan.
Why are we acting like people haven’t been writing so much smut stories about him since 2022? Before I even joined the fandom here I was literally reading soooo many smut stories about him around that time. I don’t think that’s changed. There’s so many different stories besides smut. If you don’t like smut guess what? DON’T READ IT BABE. Keep scrolling. There’s so much variety when it comes to Elvis fanfics. It’s not just smut.
Then onto the big daddy thing. That didn’t just become a thing. It’s been a thing for the past two years. How is it disgusting? Lmao. It’s never that serious and honestly no one is being disrespectful when they use that term. That man has big daddy energy. That is never a bad thing, lol.
I swear. People don’t know how to just enjoy things and not taking things so seriously and constantly complaining about literally everything. Why can’t people just enjoy things? I feel like I constantly speak up about this because I’m so tired of people telling people how they should love Elvis or how there’s a wrong and right way. I’m so tired of people making others feel like they don’t belong here. We all love and respect Elvis. We all love learning about him in every aspect of his life. So many of us do so much research and constantly read books on him because we DO see him more than just a “pretty face” more than just an “aesthetic”. He’s a huge part of our lives and we all in some way have a story about how he’s impacted us or what he’s done for us. Doesn’t mean we can’t joke about things or like make unhinged posts. Life doesn’t always have to be taken so seriously.
Lighten up. Elvis would be bothered by how uptight some of you are.
Thank you for coming to my Elvis ted talk. ☺️
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spoonhead · 6 months
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everyone i am actually going insane i can’t believe squirrelstar is actually a thing now. i haven’t read warriors in years and i have no idea what’s happening in it rn but i’m so happy squilf deserves this <3 even better is the fact that IVYPOOL is her deputy. i actually love ivypool she is one of my all time favorites this might actually motivate me to draw them or at least try. i’m so glad she gets this you get ‘em queens ❤️
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milo-is-rambling · 9 months
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Today is good I think. My brain isn’t fully happy my body isn’t fully happy but I’m treating myself kindly anyways
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prans-micellar-water · 6 months
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IF everything goes well and I actually start my new job. I may actually go ahead and start buying the RoV manga with my first few paychecks
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I ran this morning AND wrote some AND made art and I’m so proud of me
#didn’t get any of my actual office work done oopsies#but in my defense it’s a Friday and also I did allot time for it I just ended up not doing it#anyways still proud of me!!! guys art is so so important and I know that and I preach that but I haven’t been doing it#and I just picked up a blank sheet of paper and did it#and is it good or anatomically correct? no but it was so FUN#and I’ve been working thought Tim Clare’s writing stuff and it’s been GOOD#I like this new series of exercises a lot better than the couch to 80k#they’re. the same honestly and I don’t actually care about his commentary all that much#maybe I’m just more present or more invested in them#I only ran for 15. min and then I had to call my brother to pick me up because the heat was gonna make me pass out :/#but also I TRIED#I fucking tried today#also did u know running is utterly miserable.#runners high is def a thing#felt amazing afterward#but holy shit it’s awful in the moment#my roommate ran a 25k recently and I talked to her about it and she said it never gets better#which is. not very encouraging#but also I Want To run as much of this 5k as I can#maybe I’ll be dead after but it’s fine I have a couple days to recuperate before the eclipse#WHICH IM ALSO EXCITED SBOIT. I’ve never seen a total eclipse before#goddamit my brain jumped to too many places#delete later#anyways. if u didn’t u should acknowledge ur accomplishments today#even if they didn’t feel like much#now I’m gonna go read a 115k fanfic that’s gonna wreck me#that’s my treat to me#I HAVE ACTUAL BOOKS TO FINISH. but NO. THIS is how I’m spending my time. and it’s fine I’m valid#I’ve been talking to all the lesbians about running too#and they’ve been so encouraging too!! I love my coworkers and very distantly related coworkers sm
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moonstruckme · 5 days
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I recently found ur page and omfg I spent hours yesterday reading all ur work!!!! What a lil fic of Sirius and reader but like pre relationship where she's in the hospital (u can pick reason) and she refuses to see anyone and just asks for Sirius
Thanks for requesting my love!
cw: hospital, mention of stitches
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 906 words
Sirius feels awkward and stiff as he pulls back the curtain, though for all he knows you’re too hopped up on pain meds to even know it’s him. Really, that’s the only reasonable explanation for the directions the nurse had just delivered: “She said she’ll only see Sirius right now.” 
He has no clue why you’d ask for him. He’s probably the least comforting of your roommates, and as soon as he catches sight of you, knees tented in front of your chest and hands clasped around your ankles, his worry for your choice deepens. 
Someone’s tried to clean you up, but they’ve done a shit job of it. There’s still blood crusted on your chin, and your face is blotchy, your cheeks smeared with dark gray like you’d wiped across them with your hands only to spread your makeup off to the sides. James had said you’d cried the whole car ride to A&E, but Sirius still wasn’t prepared to see you like this. His chest feels hollow and achy. 
“Hey,” you say, voice scratchy. If hearts have strings, you’re playing his like a fiddle. 
“Hey, doll.” He goes for a smile as he sits on the edge of your little cot, managing to sound halfway normal. “Come here often?” 
You start to grin, then stop like it hurts. Sirius stops, too. 
“Yeah, you know,” you say, “now and then.” 
“Don’t see why.” He makes a show of looking about him, at the papery blue curtain and beige-ish linoleum floors. “Place is sorta depressing.” 
You roll your eyes, and Sirius’ heart lightens to see you in a better humor. “Yeah, I think I’ve judged my hangout poorly. I’m dying to get out of here.” 
He’ll bet. You’ve been here hours longer than him. James had been the only one home with you when you’d tripped on the stairs and bitten through your lip, and Sirius and Remus had only found out when they’d gotten home and seen the note James left, his already scribbly handwriting worsened by haste and panic. By the time they’d arrived they’d missed most of the action (Sirius was secretly thankful for that) and James had filled them in before the nurse had come out to inform them that you’d gotten three stitches in your lip and summoned Sirius back. 
“I can understand that.” He gives you his best approximation of James’ easygoing grin. “You ready to go home then, gorgeous?” 
The shift is slight, but Sirius sees your bravado fade, a shyness entering your expression. “That’s actually why I wanted to see you,” you say.
“Yeah?” He doesn’t bother to hide his curiosity. “Why’s that?” 
“Because I know you’ll be honest with me.” 
He feels his eyebrows go up. “About what, doll?” 
You shrink a bit, knees drawing closer to your chest. Your voice is small when you ask, “Is it awful? I mean, do I look awful?” 
Ah. Sirius can see why you’d want him for this, but you’re wrong in your assumption. He’d absolutely lie to you if he needed to, just like Remus or James would in his place. But you’ve asked for him, so Sirius tries to do right by you. 
“You could never look awful, dollface. Be sensible.” He squints his eyes teasingly, reaching for your ankle and giving it a reprimanding little shake. “It’s just a couple of stitches, you haven’t been warped unrecognizable.” 
You frown, and it’s even more upsetting than usual. Your eyes look heart-breakingly insecure. “Are you sure?” you ask softly. 
“Yeah, I’m fucking sure.” Sirius scoffs like you’re unbelievable. “You said it yourself, babe, I wouldn’t lie to you.” He definitely would, but there’ll never be an occasion for that. He can’t imagine you genuinely looking bad. “I can clean you up a bit, though, if you’d like.” 
You blink. “Um, yeah. If you think it would help.” 
“Brilliant. Sit tight.” Sirius gets up and starts going through drawers, sifting through medical supplies for something he can use. 
“Fairly sure you’re not supposed to do that.” You sound like you’re trying not to smile. 
“Fairly certain my taxes pay for this place, and they’ve left my best-looking roommate with a dirty face.” He finds a box of mini-wipes, turning back to you. “Don’t tell James I’ve said that.” 
“Oh, I’m definitely tattling on you,” you tease, and Sirius is caught between feeling triumphant and worried that you look very near to grinning. He has no clue how easy it is to tear your stitches. 
“What, you want us to match? That’s cruel, sweetheart.” 
You roll your eyes. “He won’t punch you.” 
Sirius huffs a laugh, holding you still with a hand on your jaw as he wipes gently at your chin. “You haven’t known him as long as I have.” 
Your brows flick up as you meet his eyes, disbelieving. “Our James? You really think our James would hit you for saying he’s not the best looking roommate?” 
“Well, not if you’re in front of me,” he muses. He throws out the first wipe, ripping open another. “He already feels bad for you, so maybe that can work in my favor. If you are going to tell him, lean on me as we walk out, okay, doll? Give me a fighting chance.” 
The corner of your lips twist as you close your eyes and Sirius wipes sideways across your cheek. “Yeah, fair enough. I’ll do my best for you.”
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gojossocks · 2 months
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New Romantics
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Gojo x reader 𐙚 Genre: fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort 𐙚 Summary: You are the bane of Gojo's existence, at least that's what he tells himself. You're just full of surprises and he can't help but be fully enamored by you. 𐙚 wc: 8.5k 𐙚 content: kinda enemies to kinda lovers, a bunch of high schoolers, gojo is soo out of touch with his feelings, it's in his pov, gojo is sooo down bad, PINING, badass reader, reader is in a clan too! reader smokes ! kinda screams im not like other girls in a less toxic way, jealous! gojo, heavy make out, very self-indulgent HAHA can be read as a standalone. 𐙚 a/n: my first ever series ! it's kinda long but i swear it's fun! :D
series masterlist | prologue
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Arrogant. Insufferable. Patronizing. Apathetic. 
The list goes on. 
Granted, Gojo is nowhere near close to you. You were barely friends.
If there is one person in Jujutsu High that he likes the least, it would be you. It’s not like he resents you, it’s just that you represent  everything he hated from being in a clan just like him.
From the way you strut your very expensive loafers to the way you shop to your heart’s content after every mission since your first year. Not to mention that you’re the all-perfect princess that your clan wants you to be. 
“Gojo, please pass me the p-“
“No can do, shorty.”  He chirps, giving you a shit-eating grin. 
You glared at him before motioning Shoko to hand you the pen instead. “Gojo, you know you kinda look like someone I like.”  You didn’t let him finish, crossing your arms before giving him a devilish smirk. “That cute little rat from Shrek.” 
Gojo’s eyes widened at your insult but Suguru and Shoko were already snickering at him. He despises the idea that everyone seems to adore you, except him of course.
In the eyes of the higher ups and your family, you were the sweetest girl ever. Somehow, you’re always growing horns around him. 
Everyone thinks that Gojo’s only messing with you whenever the two of you banter. Hell, there are some students gossiping that he has a crush on you (which he definitely doesn’t) But only Geto and Shoko know how much he actually dislikes you.
You seem so obedient with all your clans orders, following everything that’s asked of you, carrying the submissiveness and elegance a Y/L/N is supposed to have. And if there’s anything Gojo hated the most, it’s tradition. It’s why he’s in Jujutsu High in the first place, he wanted to change the system badly— and seeing you become the embodiment of the tradition he badly wants to change pisses him off. 
Each time the higher ups get mad at him for not being in his ‘best behavior’, your name is constantly echoed around the meeting room. ‘You should be more like Y/L/N’ ‘Bring honor to your clan like how Y/L/N does.’ 
The only act of rebellion that you do is that your hair is dyed in a way that would make the higher ups frown. Your hair is recently dyed bright orange. He finds himself scoffing at the idea that you only get scolded because of a damn hair color. Gojo’s also confused with how cunning and sassy you are when there aren’t any prying eyes. Maybe you’re just doing that to seem cool. 
Well, he just has to avoid you at all costs so you would stop annoying him and pestering his thoughts. 
Unfortunately for him, Yaga has different plans. 
“Satoru. Y/N.” Yaga announces when he was pairing up students for a mission but he doesn’t even get to finish because Gojo emits a loud dramatic groan from across the room. 
“Why?” He whined, tilting his head up to create a dramatic effect. “It’s always been Suguru and I.” 
“Satoru, you and Suguru need to be paired up with someone who's an expert in reversed curse technique. It’s your fault you haven’t learned it yet.”  
Gojo crossed his arms and pouted. “Y/N can kiss my ass, teacher.” 
“No thanks. I’m sure you don’t wash yours. I could smell you from afar, stinky.” Everyone else groaned as the two of you started another banter, forcing the meeting to be 5 minutes longer than usual— particularly because no one dares to cut off your argument (Yaga is too amused because of how much you put Gojo in his place.) 
-.-
The mission didn’t go well. It was the first time you and Gojo worked together, and judging by your huge egos, your banter caused the both of you to get injured– you more so than Gojo. He was too reckless today, attempting to get a reaction out of you, which is why he got caught off guard when a 1st grade curse attacked him.
You pushed him out of the way, causing the curse to land a hit on your shoulder and right arm. Gojo stood still in his place in shock and your right arm was already injured when he snapped out of  his trance. He obliterated the curse easily but the damage has been done. 
You’re just lucky it was a minor injury but the fact that you did that for him, considering how you two were at each other’s necks for the longest time confuses him. It disoriented him until the both of you arrived at Jujutsu High. 
When he got patched up, he stood up to apologize but you were nowhere to be found. He assumes you’ve already healed yourself due to your reverse curse technique ability but he can’t help the nagging feeling in his mind. 
You were quiet today— well, ever since this afternoon. And no he’s not keeping track, he’s just not used to not hearing your snarky remarks and sarcastic comebacks at his attempts to annoy the shit out of you.
You’re just ignoring him, giving short insults in response to his own for the most part of your mission until you shielded him from that curse. 
His guilt weighs on him heavily as he strolls around the school, waiting for Shoko and Geto. but really it’s just to see you. Gojo had noticed that you’re always gone the moment after your mission’s debriefing, sometimes even when you’re injured. 
At last, he saw you just a few blocks away from Jujutsu High, towards the new 7/11 store that opened a few months ago. Gojo tilts his head to the side and furrows his eyebrows before deciding to follow you as discreetly as he could.
He stood near a house behind the convenience store where he could be hidden by a large plant beside it. He watched you grab a few things off the shelves and talk with the cashier, who happily greets you at the counter. You must’ve been here frequently. 
1 can of coke. A box of cigarettes. Coffee. 
Gojo never took you as the type who would visit a convenience store, as shocking as that sounds. He knows you’re rich. Filthy rich. You’ve always been pampered just like him, everything down at your feet because you’re the most powerful sorcerer in your clan. 
Finally, you got out of the store. Gojo’s eyes widened like saucers when you went straight to his hiding spot. 
“You know,” You called out, putting a hand on your hip.  “It surprises me how much of an idiot you are despite being a notorious smartass. Your hair sticks out of the leaves because you’re so fucking tall, Gojo.” 
“Heh.” He rubs his nape sheepishly, offering you a shy grin. “Didn’t think you’d see me.”  
“Really?” You deadpan before walking away from him, back to Jujutsu High. He jogs up to your side. “Why are you hiding anyway? Spying on your rival or something?” 
“Maybe.” He says lightly. It’s the first time any of you are talking normally to each other without malice. “Where are you going?” 
“Somewhere.” 
“Can I come?” He insisted, voice filled with excitement, leaving no hint that he’s gonna stop following you.  A smile tugs at the corner of your lips.
He looks like a puppy, following you around. It’s an amusing sight, even to  you. 
“No.”  You still kept walking, paying no mind as Gojo continued to follow you.
He feels an unusual giddiness at the thought that you hadn’t outright pushed him away because if you really wanted to, you would have told him to leave. 
You lead him to the abandoned fence with the sign ‘DO NOT ENTER’ in the restricted building of the school that had remained under construction for years. It was the tallest building in Jujutsu High. You wordlessly went up to the concealed stairs at the obscured side of the building and onto the rooftop. 
You sat at the edge of the building, your feet dangling off the edge. Gojo cautiously followed your actions, opting to sit next to you. He observes you as you unravel bit by bit and it’s the first time he’s seen you this relaxed and vulnerable—something that you granted him the privilege to see.
Rummaging through your paper bag, you retrieved a can of his favorite drink, Coca-Cola. As you handed it to him, a subtle surprise flashed across his face before he muttered a sincere ‘thanks. 
You then opened your box of Marlboro red and lit up a cigarette, putting it in between your lips before taking a drag. Gojo observes you silently, his mouth agape.  It was a revelation, discovering facets of you that he never anticipated. The act of you casually smoking, the ember casting a faint glow on your features, added another layer to the enigma that you are. 
Gojo stays silent for a few  more minutes or so until you notice his confusion, mainly because his eyebrows are almost meeting and he’s staring intently into the abyss. 
“Are you broken or something? You usually never stop yapping.” You joked, bumping your shoulder to his. 
“I didn’t know you smoked.” Gojo says dumbfoundedly. 
You chuckled but his question was left unanswered. He forgets about it completely because his brain short circuits when you move closer to him, taking off his sunglasses and perching it atop his head. His radiant baby blue eyes are out staring at you intently.
You give him a soft smile and point at the view in front of you. “I love going here after missions, sunset’s beautiful here.” 
“you’re being nice to me. Why?” 
Again. No answer. You just hummed in amusement and no words were spoken afterwards. 
The sun begins to descend, casting a warm, golden glow over the view from below. The city sprawls out beneath the both of you and the skyline extends into the horizon, bleeding in hues of pink and orange. Both of you sit in silence and when Gojo turns to look at you, he feels his heart beat quickening every passing second.
You look so breathtaking as the remaining sunlight kisses your skin, creating a halo effect around you. He suddenly doesn’t know why his palms feel so sweaty and he can’t manage to land a punchline to make you roll your eyes playfully at him. 
“I’m sorry I got distracted. Thank you for saving me today. I didn’t know you’d be more…” He trails off and you cut him off with a laugh so pretty enough that his head whipped to turn to you. 
“Kind? Human? You think I’m just like my clan huh?” You giggled and it shocked him how light you’re taking the situation.
You must’ve gotten used to it.
Just like him.
You stayed silent for a while before speaking in a serious tone. “Just because I don’t defy my clan’s ideals freely as you do doesn’t mean I’m not against it. When you’re a woman, you have to play nice, you know? I don’t have much of a choice unlike you. I know you don’t like me but I shielded you because you’re my friend.”
It was a wonder for Gojo that he’s the only one you’re not on good terms with out of everyone in Jujutsu High. Hell, he even overheard Yaga asking you to call back those Kyoto Students. It’s a big deal because those pesky Kyoto Students are usually their rivals but for some reason they’re always looking for you.
Then comes the Tokyo students, whom he never sees not greeting you or asking to hang out with you. Come to think of it, their expressions are always brightening up whenever you’re around and he thought that maybe they’re not that welcoming to him because he’s loud. But it’s you. It’s all you. 
From the way you listen intently to your friends, and your saccharine voice asking them about their day or whatever that piques their interest. You care, a lot. You even saved him from that grade 1 curse, resulting in a painful wound on your shoulder. Granted, you had the ability to heal yourself but who was he even in your life? and yet you took the fall for him. 
Gojo always hated that everyone seemed to look at him as that ‘six-eyed kid from the Gojo clan’. He hated the rumors about him just because of your last name— something that he has done to you since the first time you stepped foot into the school. 
He swallows his guilt and sets his pride aside. He wanted nothing more than to make it up to you.  “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’ve read you wrong. I thought you were just like the rest of them.”  
“It’s alright.” You say nonchalantly as possible but the voice crack at the end gives you away. Gojo chooses to ignore that. This probably means a lot to you as much as it did to him. “I mean I get it, I actually admire your passion for changing the way our clans lead the Jujutsu World. I think you have the guts for standing up to them just like that.”
“You really think so?’ He scoots closer and gives you a small smile, his heartbeat quickening faster as he feels your warmth— your thighs almost touching. 
“Yeah.” You grinned back, leaning your wait to his side before taking a sip from your coffee. 
“So you think I’m pretty?” He looks at you and bats his eyelashes comedically.
You snorted in response and slapped his arm lightly.  “I’ll throw you off this building.” 
Gojo forgot the passage of time in those 4 hours at that rooftop. The sun had already set and the moon was gleaming, already dark out. He likes talking to you but he enjoys it more when you’re the one doing the talking. 
You talked about your school life, hobbies, even your life with your clan– anything that comes to mind. Talking to you is as easy as breathing. You’re just full of wisdom, kindness, and wit.
Gojo found out today that he actually likes making you laugh, something about it makes his stomach feel funny. He also found out your preferences in coffee, food, and even music. 
“Don’t you dare tell that spot to anyone, Gojo.” You took one of the sweets in his hands and popped it in your mouth before giving him a teasing grin.
You’re now walking side by side on the way to the dormitory. He insisted on walking you to your dorm even if his dorm is from the other side of the building. 
A chuckle escaped his lips as he matched your stride. “Yes, Ma’am.”  He replied with a teasing voice, earning a hum of approval from you. You finally stopped in front of your door. 
“Thank you Goj-” 
“Satoru.” He cut you off,  his voice suddenly softening. As you tilted your head inquisitively, he found himself breaking into another warm smile.  His cheeks ached from smiling too much this evening. “You can call me Satoru instead.” 
“I like saying Gojo, especially when I yell your name when I’m mad at you.” 
“Are you mad at me right now?” He wiggles his eyebrows, earning a playful roll of your eyes in response. 
“No.” 
His demeanor shifted then, almost like he’s surrendering his vulnerability to you. “Then call me Satoru.” You could almost hear the plea in his voice. 
You sigh in mock defeat, your lips curved into a smile as you relented to his request. “Okay, Satoru.”
-.-
“You’re barely hanging out with me anymore, Satoru. Have you found my replacement already?” Suguru says, smirking as he watches his best friend’s eyes widened— a blush adorning Satoru's cheeks.
Satoru fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, causing Suguru to smirk at him. This behavior definitely did not go unnoticed by his best friend. Rarely did Satoru ever get nervous and Suguru was all for it. 
“I was just busy, Suguru. You missed me that much? I didn’t know I am participating in a homosexual relationship with you—”  He retorted, attempting to deflect Suguru. 
But Suguru wasn’t one to let him off the hook easily. “Busy hogging Y/N?” 
Satoru scoffed, giving him a look of disbelief. “Pffft. Nah. Of course not. We’re friends!” He insisted, though the way his gaze momentarily flickered away betrayed a hint of something more.  
It has been nearly 6 months since that evening on the rooftop. Satoru and you have been attached to the hip ever since— or to phrase it better, Satoru has been attached to you ever since. Somehow, you’re a lot more similar than he thinks and because of that, you just know each other a lot deeper.
He also finds himself doing things out of pure interest like walking with you to the 7/11 store after mission just to talk to you til dusk on that rooftop, completely forgetting about his friend group’s game nights. Other times, he reaches for your wrist to encourage you to mingle with other people. He even accompanies you to your monthly shopping sprees in the city or in Shinjuku or Shibuya. He found out you love traveling and going to other places— it clears your mind, you had said. His closet is now full of clothes you helped him pick out, almost half of them you bought for him randomly. 
It’s normal for friends to do that, right? 
Seated side by side, Satoru and Suguru observed how you and Shoko practiced your reverse cursed technique. Satoru’s just munching on the sweets you bought for him while his best friend is clearly enjoying the view of how dumbstruck he is by you. 
“Satoru,” he began. “You’re always following her around, it’s like you’re glued to each other already and you even fell asleep together during movie nights more than 3 times already. The only time you’re not with her is when you’re on missions with me or lunch. Are you already secretly dating?” 
“Yeah, we’re not!” Satoru says swiftly and defensively, causing Suguru to raise an eyebrow at him. “Why are you keeping count anyway?” 
 “Sure, just friends.” Suguru insisted, attempting to downplay the whole situation but Satoru is already growing agitated with the way he’s being teased.  Suguru gave him a devilish smirk.  “What if she dates another guy?” 
Satoru shuts up for a minute before muttering a quiet  “… She won’t.” 
“You don’t sound sure. She eventually will.” Suguru gave him an all-knowing smile and that’s when he knew that Suguru was being serious. 
“Huh?”  Satoru furrowed his eyebrows, casting an accusing look at his best friend.  “How are you so sure?” 
“Shoko said she’s going on dates.” 
Oh. 
So that’s why he’s been seeing you less, and you seem so distracted whenever you guys would hang out. Satoru thought that you were just busy but he didn’t think you’d actually go on dates with anyone. I mean, you’re still young right? Besides, who would be deserving of you?
Satoru didn’t notice that he was staring daggers into Shoko as you hugged her tightly. His expression darkened, jealousy flashing in his eyes before softening as he heard you laugh. 
Pretty. 
You look so pretty. 
Since when did he find you incredibly pretty?
Sure, you were just friends but he doesn’t know why he has this urge to be with you all the time, he even wants to hug you like how you hug Shoko and Utahime. It’s just unfair that you only lean to him or give him a fist bump or when you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder.
He longs to hold you close, to see you every morning, and to be the person that makes you laugh all the time.  
And when you noticed him staring you beamed at him and waved. 
Oh, he definitely has a crush on his friend. 
He didn’t know how much time passed but soon enough his day wouldn’t be completed without seeing you. He actually looks forward now to the meeting with different plans, particularly because you were there with him. And he basically lives now in your dorm room, candy wrappers everywhere and an array of his glasses sit beside your bedside table.
You talk about anything, even the random thoughts that come to his mind. You managed to know him better than Suguru knows him, which is surprising by the way. 
But during the past week, he surprisingly didn’t see you— not even at the rooftop that you both had grown to hang out together. Suguru told him that he acts like he has a ‘stick up his ass’ but he was just worried about you. Have you grown tired of him? It all made him fidget like crazy. 
Satoru caught a glimpse of your bright blue hair after your mission with Suguru. It was the kind of blue that matches his eyes. But he didn’t pay attention to it that much because of your sullen look.
He tried looking for you at the convenience store or your dorm but you were already gone so his last bet is at the rooftop, and there you are.
Your back is facing him with your feet dangling off the edge, you seem to be in your own world judging by the loud music he’s hearing. There are two packs of cigarettes by your side and a can of your favorite coffee. The sun is almost setting again and you’re just staring ahead while you hum along to the song you're listening to. The view seems so… sad. He felt something tug at his heart strings. 
“You know you should quit smoking. if you keep it, you’ll never see me old handsome.”  He tried to joke off before climbing the edge to sit next to you. He took off his glasses before wincing at the view, it was too bright so he decided to put it on again. 
You giggled in response,  he can tell that you saw right through him when you had a soft look in your face.  The both of you hadn’t quite reached the stage where you’re entirely comfortable with opening up to one another.
So he tried to lighten up the mood once more, “It actually diminishes your ability as a sorcerer.” 
“Says who?” 
“Says yoda” He responded rhetorically before giving you a lopsided grin.  
You nodded before taking out your lighter to light up your cigarette.   “I only smoke when I’m stressed.” You confessed.
“Oh?” Satoru asks 
“Yeah” You smiled at him, taking a drag from your cigarette, sighing when the nicotine hit your system. 
“Then we’ll do something else, yeah?” He grinned at you mischievously before pointing his index. “Wait.” 
With a quick rummage through his pockets, he brought out a handful of brightly colored lollipops, their wrappers crinkling softly in his hand. 
“What do you have in mind?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. 
Satoru extended his hand, offering you a lollipop with a playful wink. “Something sweeter?” 
He gives you a toothy grin—his eyes sparkling when you take it, shaking your head at his enthusiasm.
“This is ridiculous,” You laughed, amused by his antics as you unwrapped the sweet treat and popped it into your mouth. 
“It works, right?” Satoru asked eagerly. 
He’s been searching for alternative ways for nicotine but he couldn’t find any gum in the 7/11 store. Lollipops are his last choice. 
“I don’t know. Isn’t it gum that lessens the nic addiction?”  You countered, bumping your shoulder against his. 
“Lollipops are an alternative,” He says defensively, though a hint of concern crept up to his face.  “Are you okay?”  
“Yeah, uhm. It just gets tiring sometimes, you know?” You responded, bitterness lacing your voice. “ All the pressure. Sometimes I feel like I’m not treated humanely at one point.” 
“Hey. I’ll help you okay?” He placed a hand on your shoulder before offering you a soft smile. “When you’re with me, you don’t have to please those old geezers.” 
“I appreciate it, Satoru.” You smiled back at him and he found himself melting in your gaze. The sun be damned, he could live alone in your presence.
You decided to leave when it’s already half past eight. Once he helped you to his feet you looked at him shyly, and if it’s a bit lighter out he would see a blush creeping up to your face. The walk back to your dorm is silent again, your hands just occasionally brush and Satoru wondered if you think about holding his hand too. 
So when you let him in your dorm like you usually do. Satoru hesitated for a moment before he mustered up the courage and asked, “Is it okay if I hug you?” 
He noticed you freeze and he feared that he might have overstepped, but before he could retract his words, you’re already nodding and he instinctively wrapped his arms around you. Satoru hears you sigh in the hug and he feels like he’s floating when you tug him closer.
Satoru prayed silently that you couldn’t hear the loud thumping of his heart because he finally has you in his arms and this is all he wanted. The warmth of your body against his, the way you leaned into his touch, it all felt surreal to him. 
You’ve finally let your guard down around him and he noticed you gradually open up to him when you’re feeling sad or disappointed with something. Somehow he can’t bring himself to be like that to you yet, Satoru has this underlying feeling that you’d like him less if he starts showing vulnerability. 
But to his surprise, he feels like you like him more because of that. There was this instance where he’s so overstimulated after a mission because he had to take off his glasses to work on his six eyes. He started to become dizzy and everything around him was a blur.
As he sat on the couch, feeling utterly overwhelmed and disoriented after the mission. Despite his attempts to mask his discomfort with a feeble smile, you saw right through him, as you always seemed to do.
“Satoru, are you okay?” Your voice cut through the haze of his senses, casting him a worried glance.
He managed a strained smile before the brightness around him intensified, sending a sharp pang through his temples. "I'm...I'm fine," he mumbled.
“Satoru, you’re not a good liar.” You stood up to turn off the lights, only leaving the night lamp on, a soft glow illuminating the entire room, making it bearable for Satoru. He’s rubbing his temples, trying to ease the pain. 
He feels a weight dip in the couch, you gently remove his glasses and place them on the nearby table. Then, without warning, your arms enveloped him in a warm embrace, guiding his head to rest against the crook of your neck, fully covering his eyes.
Now that he’s calmed down, Satoru became acutely aware of the closeness between you. He’s lucky that you can’t see how his eyes widened at your action and how flushed he probably looks right now. Well, not that he can see anything right now. 
But he chooses to ignore the loud beating of his heart again, passing it off as adrenaline rush from the mission. He allows himself to relax in your hold, with your fingers threading softly through his hair, all his worries and fatigue melted away. 
Gojo Satoru had never known romantic love, let alone had a crush on anyone. So maybe it was just normal for friends to hold each other when one is tired or in need of comfort.
He loves to play with your hand when both of you are alone, while he babbles about something random and outright weird just so he could ignore how you make him feel. He tries to ignore the blush creeping up on his face when you listen to him intently, like every word that he utters matters, no matter how ridiculous it was. His feet always drag him to you because after a long day, all he needs is cuddles from you— oh, and your soothing voice too.  
So really, what is this weight on his chest when Shoko announced that you’re going on a date? 
Why is he pouting suddenly, assaulting his food as he stabs it continuously while you are gushing about what to wear or what to say when he knows you just look so beautiful even without trying?
Isn’t he enough?
Satoru buys you stuff, he takes care of you, he knows everything about you. He’s always hanging at your dorm after school, you’re practically like a couple at this poi–
Shit. 
Maybe he does have a crush on you. 
“I don’t know why you’d bother going on a date, Y/N. Guys are basically disgusting.” 
“Says a guy.” You rolled your eyes playfully while going through your closet. 
Satoru’s getting desperate now, why are you so adamant to get on that date? 
Satoru felt a knot of desperation tightening in his chest as he watched you model your top three dresses.  The first dress, adorned with vibrant florals, seemed to scream "first date" with its playful charm. However, you quickly dismissed it as unsuitable for the dinner date you had planned. Next, you slipped into a simple yet elegant black bodycon dress that hugged your curves in all the right places. It was hard to ignore the bitterness he’s feeling— you getting dolled up for a random guy. 
But it was the final dress that truly captured his heart. As you twirled around to show him, the white silk fabric cascading gracefully around you, Satoru found himself momentarily breathless at the sight. Your awkward smile only added to the enchantment of the moment. You look so ethereal. 
"What do you think?" you asked, swaying gently as you admired yourself in the mirror.
"I—" Satoru cleared his throat, his voice suddenly dry as he struggled to find the right words. "I think I like the other one better, the black one," he managed to say, though his heart whispered otherwise.
You somehow listened to his advice and wore the black bodycon dress that he suggested.
You looked nothing short of breathtaking, a literal goddess. 
It was the longest 3 hours of his life, each passing minute feeling like an eternity as he anxiously wait for your return. Despite his best effort to distract himself by distracting Suguru, his thoughts kept returninhg to you— wondering if you’re having the time of your life with your date. 
A small part of him wishes that the date didn’t go well and you’ll just spent the rest of the evening eating sweets with him all the while casting funny remarks on your date but he wasn’t prepared when you came home with mascara running down your face, your lips curved into a pout, and your eyes puffy and red from crying. 
Without a word, Satoru stood up to engulf you in his arms, furrowing his eyebrows as you collapsed into him.  “What happened, Y/N?” 
He held you close, a surge of protectiveness flooding his senses as if an attempt to shield you from the world.
“He’s a misogynist, Satoru!” You cried, your voice cracking. “So full of himself! I thought he was kind and sweet but then he just started babbling about his clan and how good of a potential husband he is. As if I want to marry him!” 
“Who was he anyway?”  He gently wiped away your tears. 
“Naoya Zenin” You sniffled, playing with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry I’m staining your shirt.” 
“No, no.” He whispered, brushing away the strands of your hair on your face. 
He took a mental note to research on the guy that made you cry later on. He realizes that the sight that he despises the most is the sight of you crying. He never wants to see you like this, ever. 
“You said you like the beach right?” Satoru spoke out of the blue, his hand tracing circles on your arm. “Why don’t we go to one?” 
-.-
And that’s how Satoru managed to spend all of his monthly allowance in a week. He booked a flight for the 6 of you (of course he wouldn’t want you to get the wrong idea, he insisted it’s a vacation for the six of you— him, you, Suguru, Shoko, and even Utahime and Mei Mei because apparently you’re good friends with them too) 
So now here he is, about 200, 000 yen poorer. (help i don’t know if this is accurate) He wanted what’s best for you, so of course he’d spend a lot for you.  It was all worth it though, when he sees you in a baby blue bathing suit that he helped you pick out. No it was definitely not because it’s similar to the color of his eyes. Blue just suits you well. (Hence, he’s also suitable for you) 
“Satoru, you're going to catch flies if your mouth keeps hanging like that. Hey, are you also drooling?” Suguru pokes Satoru, who quickly straightens up when you look his way.
You gave him a sheepish smile, and he didn’t know what the fuck you’re doing to him because he feels a hard on coming his way.  Shoko notices Satoru’s flushed expression but she just continues to smoke, clearly enjoying the show. 
Eventually, everyone agrees to swim in the beach and try on the jet skis that Satoru had rented. What he didn’t know though, was the fact that you’re afraid of the ocean.
You were just hugging yourself while the waves crashed against your feet. The sight looks so cute but he wants you to enjoy it, so he uses his tactics to get you to join the group.
Unfortunately for him, you’re so stubborn to stay on the shore. 
“I don’t want to go, Satoru! It’s not funny! I might get eaten alive by megalodon sharks or something.” 
“C’mon! I’m really tall, I can protect you! Jesus, here—”  His hand intertwined with yours, causing you to blush profusely. “Just hold my hand, okay?  Hell, hold onto me if you like. I can carry you!”
“Your hands are uhm, really warm.” You commented, your voice tinged with embrassment. 
“Oh yeah?” He smirks at you, his gaze locking with yours. “You want me to warm you up?” 
“I’m gonna kill you.”  You deadpanned. 
Despite your protests, you ended up trusting him to pull you in the deeper part of the ocean. He even managed to get you to ride the jetski with him, the grip you had on his waist nearly suffocating him.
Satoru didn’t want to focus on the closeness between you two— your body pressed up against his back. If he does, he might lose control and drop the both of you into the ocean. 
Meanwhile, the rest of the group is observing the two of you while sipping on their Margaritas.
“God, these two.” Mei Mei muttered as she rolls her eyes. “Best slow burn romance I’ve ever seen for free.”
If anyone would glance at you and Satoru, they would immediately think you’re dating, but you’re not and it’s frustrating to anyone within your radius. 
Besides her, Shoko chimed in, her voice laced with amusement.   “It’s so painfully obvious that they like each other. They were comparing hand sizes earlier for god’s sake.” 
“Yeah, they should just fuck already.” 
-.-
“Okay, so you kiss the person the bottle’s pointing at.” Utahime explained excitedly, albeit a bit drunk.
Everyone’s gathering around the crackling bonfire bonfire, the warm glow casting dancing shadows across the sand.  It was now nearing midnight and you decided to play a game to end the night, which is spin the bottle. You spent all afternoon swimming and riding the jet skis Satoru rented. 
Satoru felt a bead of sweat form on his brow as the bottle nearly lands you and Suguru.
He wanted your first kiss to be with him, as selfish as that sounds. He internally cursed Shoko for suggesting this game. 
It landed on Shoko and Utahime, then Shoko and Suguru, then Mei Mei and Utahime. 
His nervousness escalated as the game continues. Satoru was busy praying that the bottle wouldn’t land on you and anyone that he failed to notice when the bottle finally came to a stop, pointing directly at you and him. 
“Ooooh” Utahime teased you, playfully poking your arm. “It’s you and Gojo!” 
You laughed nervously, shooting a helpless glance in Satoru’s direction. He wanted to protest but his curiosity outweighed his embarrassment. 
He wanted to know how it feels like to kiss you. 
Besides, it’s just a kiss, right? 
Satoru was stunned when you hurriedly pecked him on the lips before you retreated back to your seat. His mind raced as he tries to process the fleeting touch.
He just kissed you. 
He couldn’t believe it when you looked back at him with a subtle smile playing in your lips.  
The rest of the night was a blur for him, not because he was drunk. Satoru’s a lightweight and you know that fact, that’s why you were drinking for him.
While everyone else is playing games and talking about anything, his mind is still stuck on the fact that you kissed him
You’re his first kiss.
And he's yours too,
The gods had answered his prayers.  But that was barely a kiss in the first place, do you even want it or were you just pressured to do it?
The thought stings. So he took a couple of sips from Suguru’s beer bottle until he was tipsy enough to not think about your lips on his. Yet, with each glance in your direction, the memory of your lips on his persisted. 
-.- 
Satoru helped you go to your room, even if he’s a bit drunk himself.  Both of you were stumbling on the way to your room, but he thankfully he managed to settle you down on the bed as gently as he could. His attempt to withdraw was no use as you pulled him down with you, your grip firm yet gentle as you clutched his hand in your sleep. 
Satoru admired your sleeping state, your hair sprawled out messily on the bed and you’re gripping his hand.
Your mouth slightly open as you slept, emitting soft rhythmic breaths but then you started mumbling something—it first it was incoherent until you mumbled in a slur,  “I think you’re cute.” 
“Huh?” Satoru questioned, even though he heard you clearly. He just want to hear it again from you. 
“I said I think you look like a sack of shit. Fuck you.”  You clarified, your words still slightly intelligible and laced with frustration and humor. 
“Uh-huh.” He replied, feigning ignorance, his heart fluttering at your words. A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Satoru brushed a few stray strands of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering momentarily against your skin. 
“You know,” You started, your words slurring as you looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “You’re my first kiss. It was really good even if it just lasted a second. Thank you for today, toru.” 
He laughed at your intoxicated state. You just look so adorable when you’re relaxed like this, the way your features softened and your laughter bubble up freely without a care in the world.
His gaze drifted to your lips, they seemed to beckon him to give in.  He definitely wants to kiss you now. 
Satoru’s heart raced as he struggled to fight the urge to lean in, knowing that it was a dangerous game to play. You decided to take matters in your own hands, shifting closer to him, your face close enough that he could feel you breathe against him. 
“Please, ‘Toru.” You whispered, your lips barely touching. “Please kiss me again.” 
Who was he to deny you that? To deny you? 
When Satoru kissed you for the second time, he took his time to savor it. His hand reaches out to cup your cheek and brushes his lips against yours. 
Your lips are warm and soft, he wanted to kiss it for eternity. Literally. He feels like in cloud nine as he kisses you deeper, slipping his tongue inside as you parted your lips, earning a soft moan from you.
Satoru weight settled against you, your bodies pressed together, breathing heavily as he connected his lips against yours once more. 
You taste better than any candy he has ever tasted. He might just get addicted, drunk even. 
“We shouldn’t—” He sighs into your mouth. You whimpered when he pulled away, your sweet voice going straight through his dick. “I don’t want to do this like this.” 
“What” a kiss. “Do” followed by another, “You,” then another “Mean?” then another.
You were peppering kisses all over his face all the while carding your hand through his hair, tugging it a bit to earn a reaction from him. He almost lost it when you squeezed him through his boxers. 
Satoru managed to pull away which he clearly struggled on doing when you pout at him, lips swollen and covered with saliva and you’re looking at him with those damned doe eyes. 
He pecks your lips, both of your cheeks, and he places a final kiss on your forehead, afraid that if he does more, he won’t be able to contain himself.
Satoru wants his first time with you to be special, one that’s not hazy and easy to forget. He doesn’t want it to be a mistake, like what he knows the both of you would agree upon if you talked about it in the morning.
He wanted you to remember, have it engraved in your mind and body for weeks. Satoru wants you to want him as much as he wants you, and he can’t have that in a drunken mistake. 
As you both drifted together in your sleep, he held you close, his arms wrapping snugly around your waist. It was the best sleep he had in ages. 
-.-
Satoru’s fear came true when you pretended like nothing happened the next morning. When he awoke, it feels like last night never happened. Your side of the bed is fixed and the only proof that you were ver there was the ache he felt on his arm, where you were laying.  Sure, he was disappointed but he’s contented with anything you give him. As long as he has you by his side. 
The kiss never left his mind, though.
Not even when you reached third year and you drifted apart from him little by little. His feelings for you remains the same. 
When Satoru is paired up again with you for a mission in the second half of your third year, you seem different from the Y/N he remembers. Particularly because you act like the exact person that he met in your first year.
Only, you look dull.
There are heavy circles under your eyes, your lips are chapped, and you look like you’re barely holding it together. Not to mention the only words that you utter to him are only about the mission. 
He got too busy honing his skills with Suguru, but he would make time for you if only you asked. But it’s like you were gone, everytime he tried to look for you, you were nowhere to be found. It’s like he barely knows you anymore.
You started to ignore him at the beginning of the school year. He noticed that you dyed your hair back to its natural color and whenever he goes.
You became a ghost in a way, and he’s left with the pieces of you that you once had shared with him. Satoru desperately wants to reach you but how can he when you’re always away? He doesn’t see you in your meeting spot anymore, you’re not in your dorm, no one gets close to you. The only time he sees you is during meetings with the higher ups and your clan. 
There’s an ache in his heart that only you can heal. 
So before you can run away from him again, he followed your footsteps until you reached the 7/11 store across the street. So here you are scanning along the shelves of the store, even though he knows you already know what you’re going to buy.  You still haven’t noticed him, which is confusing on his part. You must’ve been so tired. 
Ah, an energy drink and a box of cigarettes. 
Well, maybe you’ve started avoiding him too because of that. You know he’s going to get worried. 
Satoru taps your shoulder, making you yelp. You were about to shout at him but your expression softened when you saw him. “Oh, it’s just you.” 
It’s the first time in months where he actually saw you up close. He misses you so much it actually makes him dizzy.  Satoru stares at you for a few minutes before you poked him. 
“Hello? Earth to Satoru?”
He hasn’t heard you say his name too in a while. It felt like a breath of fresh air 
“You dyed your hair back to its natural color.” He pointed out. 
You hummed in response before going to the drink section once more. He observes you skimming the shelves even though he knows what you’re going to buy.
You’re just passing the time because you’re too anxious to talk to him but you aren’t really good at small talks.   
So he does that for you.
As you mechanically scanned the shelves, your eyes not really registering the array of products before you, Satoru noticed the evident anxiety in your every move. Wanting to bridge the gap between you two, he seized the opportunity to make you smile. 
“ah yes, there’s some items on sale here.” He declared, rubbing his chin with his pointer and thumb comically. 
Your quizzical expression met his as you questioned, “I don’t see any.” 
Undeterred, Satoru held up a familiar item – your favorite coffee – and flashed a grin "Here," he insisted, pointing at the non-existent 'sale' label.
You raised an eyebrow at him. "It's on sale. Look. It says, 'buy one take me.'" He gestured to the imaginary tag with a theatrical flair, his infectious grin inviting you to roll your eyes at him. 
Finally, you gave him a smile and you threw your head back because you’re laughing so hard. “You’re ridiculous, Gojo Satoru.” 
Satoru's heart skipped a beat at the sight of your smile, a warmth spreading through him at the sight of your genuine laughter. He likes seeing you smile. He’d do anything to see you smile. Even if it’s making a fool out of himself.
You grabbed his favorite drink and 2 onigiris then you dropped your energy drink. You walked towards the counter with him following closely behind.
After you’ve paid for the food, you led him wordlessly to the back of the convenience store towards the small parking lot and you sat on the ground. 
“Besides, I can’t take you.”  You broke the silence, handing him his coca-cola with a tremulous smile. 
“What do you mean? You’ve already taken me for granted.”  Satoru attempts to joke, but his playful expression dropped when you gave him a sad smile. 
“I’m getting married next year after graduation.” 
Satoru suddenly felt as if the ground had dropped from beneath him. The news struck him like a blow to the chest, leaving him breathless. He chewed on his lip as he took in your confession.
So that’s why you’ve been busy.
That’s why the higher ups paid no mind to all of his minor mishaps. His heart and mind raced, why so soon? Are you really going to let them take away your right to decide who you’ll marry? 
“To who?”  He said quietly, fidgeting with the lid of his soda. 
“Naoya Zenin.” 
A wave of disbelief washed over Satoru’s face. He had only met the guy once but he knows that Zenin is an absolute prick, not to mention a misogynist and a weakling. He even made you cry on a date. But he tried to relax his jaw and stay composed for you. “Do you want to marry him?”
“No.” Your answer was swift, the word laden with a weight he could feel in his bones. 
“Then don’t.” Satoru says firmly. Both of you fell silent for a while, you being defeated with the destiny your clan have paved for you.  
Could he really let you go just like that? To a Zenin asshat nonetheless?
He had always imagined that the two of you would eventually end up together, you have all the time in the world after all. So why does it feel like you’re already slipping out of his arms?  He’s not even sure if you like him, despite what Suguru and Ieri keep telling him. 
His train of thoughts were interrupted when you leaned your head on his shoulder. His arm instinctively finds its way around you, as if shielding you from your clan, from the world.  “I wish it were that simple. Nearly everything I do for my family is never what I want. I simply can’t not do it, Satoru. I need it to keep my clan powerful and relevant. I’m the only daughter of my parents. I have to do my best to make them proud.” 
“Well…” He stammers a little bit when your hand finds a way to play with his hair.  “what about what you want?” 
“Satoru, you know my freedom is limited." You laughed bitterly. “I’m still Y/L/N’s golden child and my clan’s on the brink of exclusion at this point. We’re irrelevant now and I’m not getting any stronger or richer. My family wants to take their place in the Jujutsu World. This is something I can’t escape from anymore even if I’d rather die than to be married to someone like him.” 
“Why Naoya Zenin though?” He’s getting frustrated at this point. Why were you not fighting back? Satoru couldn’t accept that, you relinquishing your freedom for the sake of others. You have already done so much. 
“He’s from a well-off clan and he’s strong.” you replied, a note of bitterness tainting your words. “My dad’s also biased with the Zenin clan so… I’m all set.” 
Well, he’s a Gojo and he is the strongest.  He is the inheritor of the six eyes anyway. Who is Naoya Zenin compared to him?  
“Well then, can you marry someone else that’s also strong?”
You scoffed, your hand leaving his hair before you prompt to fully lean your entire weight on Satoru’s side. “Yeah, but I don’t have much of a choice in the matter. Who else would I mar-” 
It’s now or never. 
“Me.”  Satoru blurted out. 
“What?” 
“Me. you should just marry me instead.” 
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waitimcomingtoo · 3 months
Text
Come See About Me
Pairing: Tom Holland x reader
Synopsis: Tom realizes he got you all wrong and slowly falls as he learns more about you during the press tour
Masterlist
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“Oh shoot. I’m press with Y/n all week.” Tom said as he read an email from his team.
“Is that a bad thing?” Harry asked him.
“Not necessarily. I just don’t really know her that well. She was super reserved on set for the few days I shot with her. I wonder why they paired me with her.”
“Well, you’re the same age, right? The movie team probably just want to start romance rumors for publicity.”
“I don’t think that will happen. I barely got to know her during filming. I doubt anyone will see chemistry between us.” Tom replied. He started pacing around his hotel room and felt uncharacteristically nervous for the day ahead.
“Well for your sake, let’s hope you don’t see chemistry between you either.” Harry snorted.
“How do you mean?” Tom frowned.
“You know how messy relationships in the public eye can be. Just don’t go falling in love with this girl, okay? I do not want to watch you pine after your dark and mysterious costar.” Harry warned him.
“Psh. I won’t fall in love with her. That would never happen.” Tom scoffed and continued scrolling through his phone. He ended up on Instagram and saw that you had recently posted a photo. It was just a simple selfie in your hotel room which was probably just a few doors down from Tom’s. He found himself smiling and gave the photo a like. He may not have gotten to know you on set, but there’s no reason he couldn’t get to know you now.
“But if I did, why would that be bad?” Tom asked as he deep stalked your Instagram.
“The way I see it, there are two outcomes if you choose to pursue her. Option one is you get swept up in the excitement of promoting the movie and start reading into every little interaction between the two of you because that’s what the public is doing. So you convince yourself you’re in love with her and maybe she’ll even convince herself of the same thing. But once the press tour is over and you get to be with each other without any reason or purpose, you realize you never actually liked each other. And that’ll just end up breaking both your hearts. Even worse if only one of you realizes you never actually liked the other. God. That would be a nightmare.” Harry shivered.
“Okay.” Tom said slowly. “That was oddly specific. So what’s the other outcome?”
“You fall in love with her on this press tour and then it ends before you get a chance to tell her. So she flies off to film another movie and you’re stuck kicking yourself for not being honest with her sooner. And I’m stuck watching you whine about it.” Harry said simply.
“Or, hear me out, secret third option.” Tom proposed. “I fall for her and she falls for me and we have a great relationship. And maybe it lasts and maybe it doesn’t. But at least we gave it a shot. That could happen, right?”
“Maybe. But either way, she’s getting on a plane at the end of this press tour. And you can’t fall in love with someone who’s worlds away. Remember that.” Harry reminded him.
“I’m not gonna fall in love with her.” Tom insisted.
“Promise?” Harry asked skeptically.
“Yeah. Promise.” Tom said weakly. He looked at your picture one more time before shutting his phone off.
The next morning, Tom got into a black van that was going to take the cast to the building where the interviews were taking place. You got into the car shortly after with a huge smile on your face that Tom had never seen before. You were in a nice dress and full glam already, unintentionally earning yourself Tom’s full attention.
“Good morning.” You said enthusiastically as you sat in the seat beside him. He was slightly taken aback by how friendly you were being since he had only ever seen you being quiet and reserved.
“Oh, hello.” He smiled in surprise. “Good morning to you too, darling. How are you doing?”
“I’m really excited for today.” You admitted. “I haven’t done a big press tour like this before. I know they can be a little boring and repetitive but I can’t wait.”
“Yeah. These tours are pretty crazy. You get to see a lot of amazing places which is really cool. But you also get to answer the same question 100 times a day for a month straight. You’ll learn the highs and the lows pretty soon.”
“I’m ready for it all. But thanks for the warning. I appreciate any tips I can get.” You chuckled.
“You’re welcome. And don’t worry. You’ll get used to waking up at the crack of dawn and having a bunch of people you’ve never met poke you with makeup and hair stuff.”
“When?” You asked through a yawn. “Because I have a full face of makeup on before my brain is fully awake and it feels so very, very wrong.”
“Not soon enough.” He sighed. “I’ve learned to stay half asleep while the nice ladies apply my concealer.”
“Oh, so this complexion isn’t natural?” You teased and pointed to his face.
“Nope. You’re not the only one in full glam right now, darling.” He humored you, making you laugh.
“Careful. You don’t know if you can’t trust me yet. I might sell that piece of bad boy information to a news site and get you exposed.” You warned. It was Tom’s turn to laugh and he felt amazed that he had never seen this side of your personality before.
“I hope you don’t. I was just about to say that I’m glad I can share your first big press tour with you but now I feel we may have begun an enemies arch.”
“No. We can’t be enemies.” You whined playfully. “Because I was gonna say that I’m glad you’re here too. You always seem so relaxed and funny in interviews. I’m really hoping I don’t come off as nervous as I feel today.”
“Don’t worry. You won’t. It’ll feel just like a conversation.” He assured you. He was pleased to know you were a watcher of his interviews and wondered what else he’d uncover about you that day.
“Thank. I really appreciate you helping me with all this.”You said sincerely.
“It’s no trouble. If you have any other questions, just ask. I’ll help wherever I can.” He told you.
“Thanks, Tom.” You smiled at him. He smiled back and suddenly remembered what Harry had said the night before about not falling in love with you. Tom was just one conversation in and already struggling to keep his promise.
Once the van arrived at the building, you and Tom had makeup touch ups and were then sent into the junket room.
“Wow. I haven’t seen the poster yet.” You gasped and touched the poster with gentle fingertips. Tom watched you admiring it and smiled when he saw how proud you looked.
“You look good up there. I hope to see you on more posters.” He said and nudged you slightly.
“Like in Playboy?” You asked and looked insulted.
“What?” Tom gulped. “No, no, no. I didn’t-“
“I’m just messing with you.” You cut him off and nudged him back. He felt his hearts too racing and cracked a smile.
“You really had me for a second there, darling. I didn’t realize you had such a sense of humor. I guess I never heard you say much on set.”
“Thats because I found it hard to shake my character after filming all day. I guess I’m not used to separating that yet. I loved my character and all but I’m so glad to be done shooting her. She’s so dark and dramatic. It really affected my mood on set.” You told him as you both sat down in your chairs.
“Oh, wow. So you’re not quiet? You were just in character?”
“Quiet? I’ve never been described as quiet.” You laughed. “I was just in my emo phase on set because the material I was shooting was so dark. It bummed me out all day.”
“But you’re not bummed out today?” He asked with a coy smile.
“Fuck no. I’m ready to party.” You whispered to him just as the journalist came in. He burst out laughing at the unexpected expletive and earned himself a look from the journalist.
“Well alright then.” He chuckled.
That was the first of many times you made Tom laugh that day. The more interviews you did together, the more he learned about you and your personality. He paid attention to every anecdote and personal story you shared and was more and more fascinated each time.
When it came time for day two of the press tour, he could not wait to get back in there with you. The interviews were in the hotel that day and Tom got to the junket room first. When you got there, you handed him a hot cup of tea.
“For you.” You smiled and sat beside him. Tom looked at you curiously and you gestured for him to sip it. He took a sip and widened his eyes when he tasted it.
“This is exactly how I take my tea.” He said incredulous.
“I know. I was listening when you ordered at breakfast yesterday.” You said proudly.
“Thank you, darling. I really appreciate that.” He smiled fondly at you before taking another sip.
“Well I wanted to thank you for all your help yesterday.” You smiled shyly. “I was really nervous yesterday until we talked in the car. You made my first press day really memorable. So I did the normal courtesy of eavesdropping on you and brought you your favorite tea.”
“That was very kind of you. And you made my day yesterday a lot better than I was expecting so I should be thanking you too.”
“Then I’ll loudly tell someone else my favorite way to drink tea so that you can eavesdrop and surprise me.” You joked as the journalist walked in.
“How are you guys doing today?” The journalist asked to start the interview.
“I’m doing really well now that Y/n brought me tea.” Tom answered and took another sip.
“I’m also doing really well but because Tom didn’t bring me tea.” You said and looked at Tom to see if he found it funny.
“Why would that make you happy?” He laughed.
“Because I hate tea.” You shrugged.
“What? Don’t you know that is the worst thing you can say to an English person? And you just told me you had a favorite tea.”
“That was a joke. I actually hate tea.” You admitted.
“How can anyone hate tea?” Tom asked in exasperation.
“It’s just like hot, flavored water. I don’t understand what’s good about it. I hate soup too.“
“Soup too?” Tom gasped and pretended to clutch his petals.
“I think soup is so nasty. Why would I ever want to eat hot blended food?”
“If you hate soup and you hate tea, then what do you do when you’re sick?”
“I watch Fantastic Mr. Fox under my covers like a normal person.” You answered, making him laugh.
“This is very disturbing information to learn so early in the morning. You’ve surprised me, darling.”
“I’m sorry you had to find out like this.” You shrugged with a laugh.
The next day, Tom was pleased to see you already waiting in your chair for the interview to start. You were texting on your phone but looked up when he came into the room. Your makeup artists was touching up your lipstick so you couldn’t smile at him and opted for a wink. He found himself blushing at the wink and sat beside you.
“Morning, darling.”
“Good morning. No tea today?” You teased.
“I’ve already had my tea, for your information. I chugged it while I got my makeup done.”
You laughed but he wasn’t actually kidding about getting his makeup done. He was just happy that it made you laugh. Your makeup artists finished up and you checked your makeup in your phone camera.
“You look pretty.” Tom said before he could stop himself. You looked over at him in surprise before smiling.
“Why, thanks. So do you.” You said and shot him another wink. He blushed and looked down at his lap at the compliment.
“God, I’m gonna be thinking about lunch this entire interview.” You whispered to him.
“You didn’t eat at the craft service table?”
“I can’t eat that early in the morning.” You waved your hand. “It makes me nauseous. Now I’m wishing I did though. My kingdom for a cheese stick.”
“I hate cheese.” Tom grimaced.
“What? Even in stick form?” You asked him.
“Even in stick form.” He humored you. “And you can’t judge me because you hate the two most comforting foods on earth.”
“I’m judging you so hard right now.” You mumbled. Tom laughed as an idea came to him.
Before your next interview, Tom made a quick stop at the bakery across the street. You were already in the room waiting to start by the time he got back. He quickly fixed his hair before holding out a little brown paper bag.
“For you.” He said with a bashful smile.
“What is this?” You asked as you took the bag.
“Open it.” He said as he sat beside you. You gave him a curious look before opening the bag.
“Scone?” You gasped and looked up at him.
“Scone!” He smiled proudly.
“You got me a scone? Why?” You wondered and took the stone out of the bag.
“Because it was easier to find than a cheese stick.” He chuckled.
“I love you.” You cupped his chin before taking a bite of the scone. Tom froze and felt his face turn bright red at your words. You realized he had gone quiet and looked over at him.
“Sorry. Was it too soon to say that?” You asked with a mouthful of scone.
“I think so. Aren’t you supposed to wait three months?” He chuckled and touched a cold hand to his burning face.
“Too bad. The introduction of the scone sped up our relationship and now we’re in love.” You shrugged and took another bite. Tom laughed again and looked down at his laugh.
“So, uh, speaking of our relationship. Have you seen the way fans have been shipping us since our last few interviews hit the Internet? How weird is that?” He said and forced a laugh. He didn’t actually find it weird, he just wanted it see how you felt about the possibility of a relationship.
“I was actually deep into the fan edits last night to be perfectly honest with you.” You said through a laugh.
“Were you?” He asked in surprise.
“I was. And I heard that we’ve been secretly dating since May. Did you know that?”
“I did. I forgot to tell you. I’m sorry, darling. It must’ve slipped my mind.” He played along.
“That’s okay. I can’t be mad at you since you blessed me with a scone.”
The journalist came in once you had finished your scone and the interview began. Tom was barely paying attention to the questions and only focused on hearing your answers. He loved that he wasn’t getting to learn new things about you that he was too shy to ask.
“Unpopular opinion?” The journalist asked.
“A lot of people think cats are girls and dogs are boys but the real take here is that all seagulls are boys.”
“Woah, what? What makes all seagulls boys?” Tom asked you.
“A girl would never act like that.” You said simply, making Tom laugh.
“My unpopular opinion is that Y/n’s best movie is Look Mom, No Hands.” Tom said, making you burst out laughing.
“I know you did not just bring up my Disney Chanel original movie from when I was 11.”
“Yes I did. Because I watched it last night and I cried when you made the winning goal even after your glasses broke from the soccer ball hitting you in the face.”
“Oh my God.” You laughed. “The drama.”
“It was! The opposing team totally kicked it into your face on purpose because they knew you were the underdog. But nevertheless, she persisted. You made the winning goal and your team won the championship.”
“Wow. Way to spoil my movie from 15 years ago. And why were you even watching that?”
“Because I needed to know who I was working with everyday. It’s a part of your lore. Now that I know you’ve starred in a DCOM, I know I can trust you.”
“I was not the star. Bridget Mendler was the star. I was just the quirky best friend.” You reminded him, making Tom laugh.
“Well you were the only one I was looking at, okay darling? You were the star for me.” He said as he looked over at you. You smiled at his answer and nodded your head.
“Good answer. Favorite snack?” The journalist asked.
“Oh no. You’re gonna think I’m weird.” You smiled sheepishly.
“What? I could never, darling. What is it?” Tom asked and turned in his chair to face you.
“I put mustard on popcorn.” You grimaced.
“What the hell?” Tom’s nose scrunched in disgust.
“See! I knew you’d think I was a little freak.”
“Mustard? On popcorn? Why would anyone do that?”
“You’re thinking it’s worse than it is. Yellow mustard on lightly salted popcorn is really good, okay? Don’t knock it until you try it.”
“You’re gonna have to make it for me. Because I cannot imagine it’s good.” Tom shook his head.
“If I can get my hands on some mustard during this press tour, I will be at your door in a heartbeat.”
“It’s a date.”Tom replied, making you smile.
“It better be.” You answered, and he returned the smile.
Tom was fully in it now. Every second that he wasn’t with you, you were the only thing on his mind. You started spending your evenings together and grabbed dinner every night after your interviews. He was falling fast and getting worse and worse at hiding it. He posted a photo of the two of you that the paparazzi had taken while you were out to dinner and captioned it “I’d wait out in the cold all night just to take pictures of her too”. He tagged you and it wasn’t long before you were in his comments saying “he’s so obsessed with me it’s honestly embarrassing”. He smiled at the comment and wrote back “yes, and?” before going to bed.
The press tour was coming to an end and on the last day, Tom walked into the junket room to find only one chair in the room.
“Oh. No Y/n?” Tom asked his manager.
“Nope. Solo interviews today.” They replied. Tom faked a smile and sat in his chair. He hoped his disappointment wasn’t as obvious as it felt as he gave the interview alone. He did a few more solo interviews throughout the day and eventually got to his last one. It wasn’t long before the door opened up and you walked into the room with Tom’s water bottle.
“Hi. I’m crashing. Sorry.” You smiled sheepishly and walked into the room.
“That’s quite all right. Do you want a chair?” The journalist asked you.
“I’m good.” You smiled politely and sat on Tom’s knee. He immediately blushed and looked up at you.
“What are you doing here, darling?” Tom grinned.
“I finished early so I brought you juice.” You said and handed him the water bottle.
“What? No way.” He smiled in appreciation and opened up the water bottle to see apple juice inside.
“Juice!” You cheered.
“Juice!” He echoed. “Thank you, darling. What a nice surprise.”
“Well I had to get you back for the scone.“ You told him.
“So Tom, I have to ask about your Instagram post from yesterday. You tagged Y/n in an interesting place, Tom. Care to comment on that?” The journalist asked now that you had joined the interview.
“He tagged me there because it’s where you can usually find me.” You chuckled.
“Wait, I’m lost? Where did I tag her?” Tom asked. You and the journalist exchanged a look before you pulled out your phone to show Tom his own post from the night before. He had accidentally tagged you right on his crotch, making him turn red when he saw his mistake. And when he pieced together what you meant by what you had just said, he turned even redder.
“Oh my God. I swear, I’m just Instagram stupid. I didn’t mean to tag her there.” Tom explained.
“Yes he did. He tagged me in my location. Because that’s where I am.” You kept up the joke just to tease him.
“Where?” The journalist laughed.
“On Tom’s dick.” You shrugged. Tom covered his red face with his hands as you and the journalist laughed.
“People know that about me. If they can’t find me, they don’t ask “hey where’s Y/n?” because they already know where I am. It’s my happy place. My sanctuary. My home away from home.” You continued.
“No. No more. My mum watched these.” He playfully scolded you.
“Hey, you started this.” You reminded him.
“And I’m ending it.”
“Actually, I’m the one who has to end it. That’s all the time we have. Thanks guys.” The journalist said. The last interview was done, meaning the press tour was officially over. You stood up and adjusted your skirt before looking at Tom. He smiled softly but felt his disappointment return. The tour was over which meant today was his last day with you. He knew you’d keep in touch, but it would never be like this again, and that’s made him sad.
Instead of wallowing in his sadness, Tom did something about it. He stopped by the corner store before making his way to your hotel room. In his way there, he ran into his brother Harry. Harry took one look at the bag of popcorn in his hands and knew what was happening.
“You fell in love with her, didn’t you?” Harry snorted.
“Shut up.” Tom groaned. “I can still fire you.”
“You did the one thing you said you wouldn’t do. Now look at you. One your way to eat the most American combination of foods I have ever seen. You’re a disgrace to your homeland.”
“I couldn’t help it, okay? She made me fall for her. It’s all her fault, really. Now leave me alone. I have a girl to surprise with a disgusting snack.” Tom said and went on his way. He took a deep breath before knocking on your door. You opened your door for him and he held up his bag of supplies.
“Hey, you. What’s this?”You raised an eyebrow.
“Mustard and popcorn. You little freak.” He said with a teasing smile. Your lips curved into a smile as you stared at him.
“Get in here.” You instructed.
He went into your room and shut the door behind him as you poured the bag popcorn into two bowls. He did his best to hide his disgust as you squirt mustard over them both.
“Here. You’re gonna love this.” You said as you handed him his bowl.
“It smells like mustard.” He grimaced.
“Well, that’s 50% of the ingredients.”
“Okay. I’m doing it. I’m eating one.” He said and popped a mustard covered piece of popcorn into his mouth. You watched him as he chewed it and could tell he hated it.
“Well?” You asked.
“I’m gonna throw up.” He answered.
“Spit it out.” You laughed.
“No. You like this so I’m gonna force myself to like it too.” He said a begrudgingly swallowed the popcorn. You laughed at him but your smile slowly faded and you looked a little upset.
“What’s on your mind?” He asked you.
“I don’t know. I’m feeling kinda down tonight.” You told him.
“You are? What’s bothering you?”
“I guess I’m just sad the tours over. I don’t like when things end.” You admitted with a sad smile.
“I’m sad it’s over too. They usually exhaust me but I don’t know. I particularly enjoyed this one.” Tom replied sheepishly without meeting your eyes.
“You did?” You asked as you ate your popcorn.
“I did. Mostly because I enjoyed getting to know you.” He admitted and finally looked up at you. You smiled in surprise and scooted closer to him. Tom gulped and looked down at his lap. The tour was officially over so if he didn’t want you to get on a plane without ever knowing how he felt, he was gonna have to speak now.
“You know, before the tour started, my brother made me promise that I wasn’t gonna fall for you.” Tom admitted.
“What?” You laughed softly. “Why would he make you promise that?”
“I don’t know. He said it would only end in two ways.” Tom said and looked into your eyes with a sheepish smile.
“Which were?” You wondered.
“We get caught up in the excitement of the movie so we start a fling and then breakup when the tour ends.”
“Well that didn’t happen. So what was the other option?”
“I fall for you and never tell you. And the tour ends and you get on a plane and I regret it for the rest of my life. But I guess that option didn’t happen either since I told you.” He said as he never dropped your gaze. You stared into his eyes for a moment as you processed what he had just admitted.
“Well, what if there was a secret third option?”
“Secret third option?” Tom asked with intrigue.
“I mean, just because the tour is ending that doesn’t mean it has to be the end of you and me, does it?” You said and leaned in even closer.
“It doesn’t?” He gulped at your close proximity.
“I don’t think so. And look. You bought me food. That makes this is our first date.” You explained as you held up your bowl of popcorn.
“Well I’m happy to hear that but don’t expect a kiss with your mustard breath.” Tom mumbled out of the corner of his mouth.
“What was that?” You played along.
“I said you’re so pretty and I have a giant crush on you and want us to be together.” He said quickly.
“Much better.” You smiled and popped some popcorn into your mouth.
Tag List 🏷️
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justmystyles · 2 months
Text
Big Winners - Part 1
read my other work here!
pairing: Harry Styles x record producer plus size reader
*i say it's a plus size reader, but it is not something that i focus on explicitly in my fics, because your size should not define you. it will only come up if it comes into the story organically.*
word count: 3,118
summary: Harry and Y/N have been friends for fifteen years, they finally work together on an album, and it leads them to a night that will change everything for them.
a/n: earlier this month, all the grammy memories popped up, and it inspired me to write this. i have a million half finished 'moment turned fic' stories in my drafts, but I actually managed to (mostly) finish this one. this is either going to be 2 or 3 parts, i still have a bit to finish, so we'll see.
tags: @abby8694 @allthelovehes @ameerakane20 @ash-craze @bethanysnow @blue-ballad @blueraspberryreader @brightlightsinlife @creativelyeva @cute-as-ducks420 @deannaard @fanficismydrug @gem1712 @golden-hoax @gothmingguk @groovychaosavenue @hillzrry @iceebabies @indierockgirrl @jerseygirlinca @jng4kook @jooniesbabie @kaverichauhan @laurxn-robinson @lexiecamposv @likeapplejuicenpeach @lilfreakjez @mrs-anna-styles211994 @n0vaj3an @potterheadandsherlocked @rach2699 @ravenclawdirectioner @stylesfeverr @superchrystaldrug @tenaciousperfectionunknown @tiaamberxx @thechaoticjoy @theekyliepage @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @youknowwhaaat
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Y/N and Harry met fifteen years ago, One Direction had been recently formed, and she was doing an internship at the studio where they were working on their debut album. She had befriended the entire band, but she and Harry clicked instantly, and formed a tight bond. 
They stayed close throughout the years. Harry’s career, both with the band and as a solo artist skyrocketed, while Y/N moved through the industry and had found herself producing some smaller projects. She rarely turned down an opportunity, taking on any work that came her way just to get the experience and the connections. Then, she received the offer of a lifetime. 
Once Harry had finished Love on Tour, he celebrated by inviting some of his closest friends and family to his villa in Italy for two weeks to relax and recharge. Y/N was one of the first people he asked. One night during the trip, Harry and Y/N snuck away from the group; it was intentional on his end, because he had something he was dying to ask her. 
As they sat on the moonlit beach shoulder to shoulder, their toes in the sand, Harry leaned over and bumped his shoulder against hers. “So, I’m going to be starting work on the new album soon.”
“Jesus Har, you’re not even finished with your recharge vacation and you’re already thinking about the next thing?” She chuckled. 
“You know I can’t turn it off.” He said with a sheepish laugh. “But there’s actually a reason I brought it up… I’ve been thinking about the direction I want to take, and who I want to work with, and I was wondering if you’d want to produce it for me?”
Y/N lets out a loud bark of laughter, startling Harry. “Good one.” 
“I’m serious.” He looks at her, and she can see that he really does mean what he says. 
“Harry, I don’t have production experience on that level.” She says, still in shock. “I mean, unless this is like a lullaby album or something.” 
Harry chuckles. “It’s not, but I know you can do it. I know your work, you’re so much more talented than you give yourself credit for. And sure, you haven’t got experience on my level, but you’re never going to get it if you don’t put yourself out there, who better to get the experience with than your best friend?” He says with a toothy, dimpled grin. 
“Literally anyone else?” She teases.
“Hey,” he whines with a furrowed brow. “You know you love me.”
“Yeah yeah yeah.” The two of them are silent for a moment, while she lets his offer sink in. “You really want me to do this? You want me to be your producer?”
“That’s why I asked.” He scoffs. “But seriously, nobody knows me better than you, you understand me, you always push me when I need it, and you don’t take my shit. Imagine how that would translate to music. I think it could be something really amazing. Plus, we’d get to hang out a bunch.” 
“Ugh… you were making a good argument until you mentioned spending that much time together.” She says sarcastically as she rolls her eyes.
“Hey,” Harry says in a serious tone. “If you don’t want to do it, just tell me. But I really can’t imagine taking the next step in my career with anyone else.”
She sighs and smiles softly at him. “I would really love to work with you, Harry. If you’re sure, let’s do it.” 
His smile grows once again as he pulls her into a big hug. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.” 
A few months later, the two of them embarked on their first collaboration, Harry’s fourth studio album, and it was an even better experience than either of them thought it would be. They knew each other so well, that they were perfectly in sync with every chord and every lyric. By the time they had a completed album, they were both confident that this was the best work of their careers. 
They were so proud of what they had done that they didn’t care how it sold, or what the reviews said, they knew that they had created something magical and if they were the only two people that liked it, they couldn't care less. However, that wasn’t the case. The record was a hit; glowing reviews, great numbers, and the fans positively ate it up. 
Harry and Y/N’s friendship was one that was well known, his fans would go crazy everytime they were seen together, the fandom was constantly shipping them. So when they found out that she was producing the record, it amped up the anticipation tenfold. As soon as it was released, they were combing the lyrics, and criticizing every background vocal and sound to find any clues about the true standing of the relationship. Of course, there was plenty of speculation, but the truth wasn’t anywhere near as exciting as the conspiracies and analysis. They were genuinely just two best friends with creative minds that made something amazing together. 
Given the reception the album received, it was no surprise that, when award season rolled around, they received a generous amount of nominations. So here they were, in LA, sharing a hotel suite and preparing to attend the Grammy Awards. 
As Y/N sat down to begin the hair and makeup process, Harry stepped out to go for a run to clear his mind. He was nervous about what the evening would hold. Partly for his performance, especially given the mistake at the beginning of his last Grammy appearance in 2023. He had insisted on extra rehearsal time, and extended the production meeting to make sure that everyone knew exactly what needed to happen and when. But more than that, he wanted this night to be perfect for Y/N. He had won awards before, but this was her first time being nominated. When they had first met, Y/N had told him about her dreams and one of the things she mentioned was the Grammys. He wanted this for her more than he did for himself. And although he knew she had matured in the last fifteen years, and valued more than just accolades and awards, if he could be the reason one of her childhood dreams came true, that would mean more to him than anything. 
When Harry returned from his run, he saw Y/N sitting in the common area, her hair and makeup still being worked on. She locks eyes with him through the mirror. 
“Hey, did the run help?” She asks. 
Harry shrugs as he approaches her. “A little, still pretty nervous though.” 
“What’s making you nervous? The nominations, or the performance?” 
Harry thought about the best way to answer this question, he didn’t want to tell her that he was nervous for her. He knew that even though she was hiding it well, she was nervous too, and his nerves on her behalf would make hers worse. On top of that, Y/N was alway so sweet and empathetic, she would take it personally and see herself as the reason he was nervous and end up feeling bad. He didn’t want to put a damper on this night for her. 
“Mostly the performance, I guess.” He finally responds. 
She extends her arm out, wiggling her fingers in an invitation for him to take her hand. When he joins his hand with hers, she squeezes gently. “You’re going to be amazing. I’ve never seen you give a bad performance. You’re going to kill it, and I’m going to be right there in the crowd losing my shit for you, just like I always do.” 
Harry laughs at her pep talk. “You know this is an industry thing, not a concert, right? People aren’t exactly going to be losing their shit in the audience.” 
“Good, then it will be easier for you to notice me from the stage.” She looks over at him with a sweet smirk. 
“Like I could ever miss you.” He scoffs, squeezing her hand.
“You’re showering before you get dressed, right?” She asks with an arched brow, lightning the mood. 
“Not before I give you a big, sweaty hug…” He says, outstretching his arms and moving closer.
“Harry Edward,” she says in a warning tone. “I’m already forty-five minutes into getting ready, and still have at least thirty to go. I cannot start over.
“God, you’re such a girl…” He groans and kisses her on the cheek before going into the bathroom to shower. 
While Harry showered, Y/N’s mind was racing. She’d known Harry long enough to know that there was more going on than just being nervous about the performance, but she wasn’t going to push him. She would just do everything she could to support and comfort him.
After his shower, Harry stepped out of the bathroom wrapped in a robe just as Y/N’s hair and makeup was being finished. She stood from her chair, thanked her glam team and stepped up to Harry. 
“We should just go like this, it would cause quite a stir.” She joked as they stood face to face in their matching bathrobes. 
He smiles softly, still feeling the nerves flow through him. 
“Hey, you’ve got this… we’ve got this.” She assures him. “Even if we don’t win, the album was amazing. We made something beautiful. If the academy sees that, great. If not, whatever, we don’t need them anyway.”
Harry smiles and pulls her into a hug. “Yeah, I know, I know. No matter what, I am so proud of what we did. It’s better than I even imagined it would be, and I owe all of that to you.”
She giggles as she pulls out of the hug. “I didn’t do anything. I just pushed buttons and bossed you around.” 
Harry laughs loudly. “Two things you’re good at. Being bossy and pushing my buttons.” She gasps in mock outrage and slaps his chest playfully. “Seriously though, you brought my vision to life, and you did all the behind the scenes work to make sure it was the best album possible. You’re the biggest reason we’re here tonight.” 
Y/N smiles shyly and blushes. “Oh come on…”
Harry smirks mischievously, he always found it hilarious when he’d make her blush. He decided to double down. “Well, whatever the outcome, at least I’ll have the cutest date in the room.” He wiggles his eyebrows playfully.
“God, you’re the worst.” She chuckles as her blush deepens. “I have to go put my dress on. You changing?”
Harry nods. “Yeah, I’ll do that now. Meet you back here in ten?”
“It’s a complicated dress, might need fifteen…”
“God,” he groans playfully. “Such a diva!”
Y/N sticks her tongue out at him and turns to go into her room to get dressed. 
Twenty minutes later, Harry is pacing around in his suit, it’s a simple black suit with a gold silk shirt, unbuttoned enough to display the sparrows on his chest, and the butterfly across his abdomen. He steps up to her door and knocks gently as a reminder that they need to get going. 
“I’m coming, I’m coming!” She calls through the door. 
A few moments later, she emerges in a long gown, made of the same golden silk as Harry’s shirt. Harry’s eyes go wide when he sees her. She looks stunning, the gown hugs her curves in all the right places, and compliments her skin tone perfectly. 
Harry’s silence makes Y/N feel a little self conscious. She rarely dresses up, and when she does, she doesn’t usually pick things that put her body on display like this.
“Is it… do I look okay?” She asks tentatively. 
“It’s stunning, Y/N.” Harry looks at her in awe. “You look so incredibly beautiful, like an angel…”
“Alright Har, come on…” she says bashfully as she drops her gaze. 
“No, seriously. You clean up nice.” He chuckles, punching her on the arm playfully. 
“Yeah, well you don’t look so bad yourself.” She looks him over, a small smirk appearing on her face. “Is this why you wanted me to work with your team to pick my outfit? So we would be matching?” 
Harry chuckles and shrugs sheepishly. “Maybe…”
“You’re such a little pain in the ass.” She chuckles. 
“Whatever, it was worth it.” He says, grabbing her wrist and positioning them in front of the full length mirror. “We look damn good” 
“That we do.�� She replies with a smile. She notices his expression grow more serious and furrows her brow. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I just… fifteen years…” He says wistfully. “We’ve had a hell of a run, you and I.”
“Well it’s not over yet!”
“No, I know. Will you just shut up and let me have a moment?” He says as he nudges her. “We’ve been through a lot together, and I can’t really express how much it means to be standing here with you right now. No matter what happens tonight, we’ve definitely already won.” 
“Yeah, we have.” She sighs, wrapping her arm around his waist and pulling him into a side hug. “Now cut it out with all this mushy stuff, my makeup took way too long for me to start crying right now.” 
Harry laughs and pulls her into a tight hug. “Alright, alright, we’ll save the mushy crying for later.” He gives her one last squeeze before pulling out of the embrace. “Ready to go?”
She nods and he leads her out the door and down the hallway to the elevator. As it makes its descent to the lobby, Y/N gets uncharacteristically quiet. 
“You good?” Harry asks softly. “You seem quiet.”
She looks up at him, almost as if the sound of his voice broke her out of a trance. “Hmm? Yeah, sorry. I think the gravity of everything is finally hitting me. Like, it was all conceptual before, just words. But it’s real, we’re on our way to the Grammy awards… we’re nominated.”
Harry takes her hand, squeezing it gently. “I know. But you can’t worry about it, no more stressing out, okay? Tonight is our night, we just need to go out there and enjoy it.” 
“Can I say one more mushy thing before we stop trying to make each other cry?” 
Harry chuckles and nods, looking forward to hearing what Y/N has to say.
“I… when I decided I wanted to be a producer, my big thing was that I always told people I wanted to win Grammy awards. And I know we shouldn’t be defined by awards, but in an industry like this, you have to have some way to quantify or legitimize what you do to people who aren’t a part of it, and that was my way of doing it. I’ve been doing this for a long time, and this is the first time I’ve been nominated. I can’t tell you how glad I am that my first nomination is with you. It means the world to me that I can have this moment, share this milestone with my best friend. So thank you for letting me be a part of this album. You have no idea what it means to me.”
Harry is taken aback by Y/N’s words. While they were close, and shared everything, she would rarely be so open and vulnerable with her words. No matter what happened at the award show, that moment, right there in the elevator, would be the highlight of his night. He wraps his arms around her and pulls her close, burying his face in her neck. 
“You have no idea what this means to me.” He mumbles against her neck. 
“Okay, so no nerves then?” She asks, pulling out of his embrace. “Whatever happens tonight, we will always have this moment together, and that’s what matters.” 
“Agreed.” Harry says, holding his hand out to shake hers. She giggles at the gesture and shakes his hand firmly. 
After a short ride in the limo, Harry slips out of the car and extends his hand, helping Y/N out. They walk through security and up to the start of the red carpet. Harry turns to face Y/N, and she adjusts his jacket, making sure he looks picture perfect. 
“Okay, go out there and smile big. I’ll see you on the other side.” She says like a proud mom, sending her son off to picture day. 
“How’s my hair?” He asks cheekily. 
She giggles and runs her hand through his hair. “Perfect.” 
He winks and gives her a sly smirk before stepping out onto the carpet and posing for the cameras. 
Y/N watches him take a few pictures, and once he moves on to the second pose position on the carpet, she turns to walk behind the step and repeat. Her arm is quickly grabbed by one of the producers. “You’re up.” He tells her.
“Oh no no no, I’m not walking the carpet.” Y/N insists. 
“Are you nominated?” She nods, a slight panic on her expression. Y/N was a behind the scenes person, she didn’t step in front of the camera. “Then you walk the carpet.” He nudges her forward, and she finds herself standing on the first mark, posing awkwardly for the camera. 
A few steps away, Harry’s gaze is traveling from camera to camera, out of the corner of his eye, he sees Y/N posing, he also sees the panic on her face. He quickly backtracks, coming up beside her and placing his hand on the small of her back. 
“You okay?” He whispers softly. 
“I didn’t know they were going to make me do the carpet…” She whispers nervously. 
Harry keeps his hand on the small of her back, his fingers moving along the skin gently to soothe her. “I know, I know. But you’ve got this, I’m right here with you, we’re going to do this together, this is our night.”
She nods, feeling more comfortable with Harry by her side. The two pose together as they move down the carpet. Harry was completely in tune with Y/N’s emotions, and any time he’d feel her start to stiffen up or get nervous, he would whisper a joke or silly comment in her ear to loosen her up. 
The photographers went crazy observing the chemistry between the two of them. Harry was aware what would be printed about them, and the status of their relationship, but he didn’t care. All that mattered to him in that moment was that nothing ruined this night for Y/N. 
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Part 3 - Meeting Kyle For Coffee
This is not in chronological order but I needed for this to get out of my head. Takes place after the end of Charlie's Charmed!Slasher!Simon series.
(If you don't want to read it, in the end, Simon does serial killer things. What a rascal!)
Slasher Handler Masterlist
Kyle Garrick is just as unreasonably pretty as he ever was, sitting in the cafe and drinking something hot. He’s a bit leaner in the face than you remember from high school. His jaw is sharper, but his smile is still so inviting.
When he spots you coming, his smile seems to light up the whole room.
You say, “Thank you, for agreeing to meet with me. Give me just a minute to order?”
“I ordered you a caramel latte,” he says with a smile. “You still like them?”
“Yeah, I do,” you admit, and sit down.
“I asked them not to start making it until you got here,” he says, taking another sip of his drink. “Figured you’d appreciate it being made fresh. All things considered.”
You blow out a breath and lean back in your chair. “That’s… actually why I wanted to talk to you.”
“I figured,” he says with a grin. “We haven’t talked since just after graduation. We do each other a favor, then say our sad goodbyes. And years later, out of the blue you hit me up? Looking for another favor. Could break a man’s heart.”
You bite your lip and look at the smiling man across from you. A barista appears at your elbow with an almost overfull mug and places it gently on the table. She gives Kyle a grin before flouncing away.
“Cheers,” he says, lifting his own mug in a gentle salute. He waits until you’ve taken a sip to continue. “So, how big is he?”
“What?” When you look up at him, he’s still smiling. His face hasn’t changed. But his brown eyes are flat and empty. Your heart beats just a bit faster.
“How big is he? I don’t do things the way I used to. I need to know so I can make it look like an accident.”
The last time Kyle did you a favor, the coroner had not ruled it an accident. No one had ever been accused of or charged with the death of David Toole-Kirk. But that amount of thallium doesn’t eat a person from the inside out on accident.
“I… um. I didn’t ask you here for that kind of favor,” you say. Your hands are burning where they’re wrapped around your mug. You feel like if you take them off, you’ll freeze under his stare. “I was hoping that you could… give me some advice?”
That brings genuine mirth to Kyle’s eyes. “Oh, this aught to be good.”
“I just… there is a guy,” you say. “Just… Do you… still go… hunting?”
Kyle grins and sits back in his chair. “Hunting?”
“Please answer the question,” you groan.
His grin is wide. His teeth are perfect. “No, can’t say that I do. Bit more of the gardening type now, in my old age.”
“We’re not even thirty,” you say, dumbly.
“This guy you know,” he prompts, barely keeping back laughter. “He likes to… go hunting, then?”
“He’s a pretty avid… hunter,” you say, carefully. “But I was hoping that I might be able to help him find another… hobby?”
Kyle Garrick looks almost ready to burst at the seams with the laughter he’s holding in. If you hadn’t had such a recent and thorough reminder not to get complacent with predators, you might have swatted at him. As it is, you can only clench your jaw as you watch him try and fail to keep a straight face.
“I know,” you hiss, “I know.”
“You really, really don’t,” Kyle wheezes. “Oh my god.”
“He says he doesn’t want to hurt me,” you say, looking around nervously. “But he’s taken me hunting twice, and I can’t do that again.”
That’s what breaks him. He bursts into peals of laughter, peppered with “he’s taken you,”s and “oh my days,”s that fill the whole cafe. It shocks you into giggles.
“Will you quit it!” You eventually whisper-shout.
“How did you manage to meet two of us?” Kyle wipes tears from his eyes. “My word. He’s taken you on hunting trips, and now you want to find him a new hobby.”
“Please,” you hiss. “I’m a little bit desperate and a lot at the end of my rope, here.”
And then Simon Riley’s voice says, right behind you, “Garrick.”
You’re a little bit grateful that Simon’s hands wrap around your wrists from above at the same moment, because otherwise you’d have thrown your coffee in the air. His sternum presses against the crown of your head. You tip your head, just a bit, rolling your eyes up to see him. He’s not looking at you. He’s staring at Kyle.
Kyle grins. “Riley. Good to see you, mate. How’s the family?”
“Still dead, you muppet,” Simon says, pulling out the chair next to you and settling in. When you eye him, he’s got that not-quite-blank look that means he might be thinking about smiling. “How do you know my girl?”
“Went to secondary together,” Kyle says with a grin. “She was bloody terrible at chemistry. Luckily, we got paired up. I helped her with a personal project before she went off to uni. It’s been years. Was pleasantly surprised when she reached out.”
“You’re online?” Simon asks, disdainfully.
“Calls more attention not to be,” Kyle points out.
“Told you,” you can’t help but mumble into your drink.
Simon gives a considering hum and his usual answer. “Technically, I’m dead.” To Kyle he says, not bothering to lower his voice. “If you meet up with her without my permission again, I’ll kill you slow.”
You gape at him, and, daringly, slap his shoulder. “You can’t tell me who I can and can’t hang out with.”
He leans in to kiss your forehead. “Sure, sweetheart.”
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jingsyuans · 1 year
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Hiya, saw that you're taking requests for Jing Yuan :3
I've read through a few of your fics and absolutely love the way you portray him <3
So I wanted to ask if you could write something with him where the reader is struggling with insomnia due to either nightmares or stress overload? (preferably sfw with fluff overload ples :3)
If you're not comfortable with that or don't get an image in your head is totally cool and u can ignore this, have a cookie for your troubles and great work 🍪
a/n: you’ll actually find there’s little I’m not comfortable with, anon! This turned out longer than I thought, I’m still in the stage with Jing Yuan where everything rambles on into a full story because I like him so much and my muse is strong HAHA
Themes: oneshot, prior to any relationship, late night vulnerability and Jing Yuan being smitten. Unedited.
⚝──⭒─Jing Yuan ; 3am ─⭒──⚝
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Jing Yuan was no stranger to stress and sleepless nights. It comes with the job, fortunately or unfortunately. He has no trouble falling asleep- he’s proven that quite enough with how he dozes off at inopportune times. His problem is more along the lines of having too much to do at night so it keeps him busy.
He isn’t sure what your version of sleepless nights looks like. He knows that you have them- he can tell from the drag in your step and the heaviness of your eyelids. He also knows that there might be several factors as to why you haven’t been getting much sleep lately, the sudden jumpy nature you have while at work is proof of that. But how to approach the subject? That’s something that requires some thought.
Your relationship was almost nothing outside of a work environment. Jing Yuan had made the steps to possibly progress it further, but his process was always step by step and rather methodical. Which, to put it simply, means that he’s rather slow. He doesn’t like to rush into things. You’ve taken his interest and he doesn’t want that interest to run out, so he ever so gently coaxes new information out of you every so often as to satiate his interest but still keep him hungry for more.
Your change in behavior as of recently presents on opportunity for the two of you to grow closer. Presents an opportunity for Jing Yuan to show he cares about you more than just a subordinate, but doesn’t hint at anything too excessive. A gentle nudge is what it is.
So he takes his opportunity once the two of you are alone in the Seat of Divine Foresight. Some would call it his office, which he supposes it is, but the room is too open and broad with Knights, secretaries, and officers always moving around inside and out. Really, the Divine Foresight is too public in a lot of ways.
But people must go home eventually to retire for the evening, and you usually leave with the crowd. But these past few nights you’ve been keeping him silent company in the large office, scribbling away at papers and clearly keeping yourself busy with things that could be done the next day. So it’s on one of these evenings that you share with him yet again that Jing Yuan decides to retire early. Early for him, anyhow.
He wraps up messily- his desk is always full so he never bothers to clear it off, leaving scrolls open and scattered. He at least has the decency to cap his inkwell to make sure it doesn’t spill, but that’s about all before he’s silently walking down the steps where his desk is and heading for you.
You don’t notice him hovering from behind. Your hand is in your hair, slightly tugging on the strands as you tap your pen endlessly on the desk. Clearly, you’re reaching a dead end. But you’re making no signs to stop your work just yet.
He’s careful, but perhaps not very thoughtful as he places a hand on your shoulder and watches as you jump. The smile is already on his face by the time you turn around, eyes wide open before seeing it was merely your general.
“Evening, ___,” he says your name carefully. It isn’t often that it’s after hours and there’s barely anyone around so he can drop the formalities. “Why don’t you wrap up here? It’s late, as I’m sure that you’re aware.”
“Ah, yes, general,” your eyes don’t meet his for long before you’re looking back to your desk, lips pursed. He doesn’t mind that you don’t reciprocate his casualties— clearly you have more prominent things on your mind. “Yes, it’s late. But I’ve still got work to do, so-“
Without asking- because in all honesty he doesn’t really need to, he’s your boss- Jing Yuan picks up the scrolls you were staring holes into. You splutter and hold up a hand to try and stop him, but freeze when he reads the work aloud.
“Curfew laws, scuffles with civilians, signing off on trade and market…” All rather unimportant affairs that don’t justify you staying late. He looks down at you and doesn’t say anything more, and by the way you sigh and look to the ground, he knows his point is proven. Putting the scrolls back down on the desk, his touch returns to your shoulder with a squeeze before he brings his hands behind his back. “I’ll lead you out.”
Jing Yuan at least lets you wrap up by yourself, gathering your coat and other things that you’ve been bringing with you to work for your late nights. He stands by the large doors until you’re ready, and when you begin to walk toward him, expression bitter, he chuckles aloud and opens the door for you.
“Thanks, general… I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” you mumble tiredly when the two of you exit the Divine Foresight, already heading off to the sky jetty where a Knight stands ready to take the both of you back. Jing Yuan doesn’t say anything as he follows behind you, letting you slowly clue yourself in. You give him a strange look once you notice he’s not heading back to the Divine Foresight. “It’s still rather early for you, general. You’re already headed home?”
The Knight boards the jetty and opens the sliding doors for you to enter, Jing Yuan sitting down inside first as you continue to hesitate and stare at him from outside.
“I’m not headed home just yet,” he tells you, answer vague and surely frustrating from the face you make at him. His smile just grows wider as he pats the seat next to him. “Come on, then. You shouldn’t make your general wait.”
That at least spurs you into action, your bag in your hands moving to your lap as you make yourself comfortable in the jetty beside him. The airship takes off in a smooth movement, and the trip is silent as it brings you back to the Exalting Sanctum. There’s a few times that your eyes flit over to Jing Yuan during the ride; each time he’s already looking at you and you quickly look away, posture tense.
Once the jetty pulls into the drop off spot, you basically jump out of your seat to get out first. Jing Yuan isn’t sure if it’s because you couldn’t wait to get away from him, or you were still being uptight because of the fact he’s your general and you didn’t want to make him wait since he was in the seat away from the door. Either way, he laughs at you.
“You know, from the way you’re acting I would say you don’t like me very much. But surely that isn’t true.” Jing Yuan cannot help but tease, continuing to stick to you like glue as you both walk away from the jetty’s drop off.
Your jumpiness that he observed before still proves true as you jolt at his accusation and shake your head, eyebrows tensely drawn. “No, you know that’s not it, general! Sorry- I… just wasn’t ready to go home yet.” Your shoulders sink with your sigh.
Beside you, Jing Yuan hums. “Understandable. But you don’t have to go home yet, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Looking at him, you purse your lips again. “I’m not going to just mill around aimlessly at this hour. I don’t need the Knights thinking I’m some suspicious figure and then I have to deal with the report at work.”
Jing Yuan laughs, quirking his brow at you. “That’s not what I’m suggesting, but it’s amusing to see where your mind goes. No, instead of stirring up more trouble for yourself tomorrow, I was thinking of dinner.”
“Dinner?”
You don’t realize where Jing Yuan has led you during your short conversation until you’re already there, the late night restaurant catching your eye with its lights still buzzing. The lanterns for dining are still on as well, dimmed with the late hour and reflecting red across your skin and dancing across your eyes as you look back at him.
It feels like a piece of you is slowly crawling back as you smile at him, laughing discreetly through your nose. “You’re not asking me out, are you general?”
Jing Yuan leads you to a seat, pulling it out for you with his own eyes gleaming with mirth. “Depends on how you look at it,” he comments, and once you’re seated he pats your shoulders. “If you don’t mind, I’ll order for the both of us. I skipped lunch this afternoon in order to go to a board meeting and I’ve never regretted something so immensely.”
Another piece molds back into place as you outright laugh at him and relax into the chair. “Alright, go ahead. I still remember when the rumors were going around about you eating pounds of exotic meat all by yourself, and now I’m wondering if they’re true.”
“The Gluttonous General,” he recalls, “yes, I remember that. I’ll leave it up to you and your own judgement, but I should remind you I have a two hundred pound cat, if that sheds any light on anything.”
“Oh, Mimi! How’s she doing?”
Jing Yuan smiles and startles you when he taps your nose, teasing as ever. “I’ll tell you once I’ve ordered.” He watches as you blush, visible or not it’s clear as day that you’re flustered and it’s his turn to laugh at you, albeit not unkindly.
Ordering is a quick affair. He’s already thought this evening through and knows exactly what he wants. Taking you out to eat isn’t exactly new to him either; there’d been a few times in the long years you’ve worked for Jing Yuan that you’d both have lunch together. Sometimes there’d be a third or fourth party, and sometimes it was just the two of you. From those times, though, he’s learned your tastes and has a fair amount of confidence as he orders your plate.
He comes back with a tray of brewed tea in hand. You look a little surprised that he’s carrying it himself, which he explains once he’s sat down across from you and places the tea on the table.
“I didn’t want to wait.”
The way you giggle at him is downright adorable, but he keeps such thoughts to himself as he pours your cup first and then his own. You hesitate before taking the cup he’s offered, and he shakes his head.
“It’s not caffeinated, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Your shoulders sink and you’re clearly disappointed, lifting up the cup to drink anyway. “Sorry to disappoint, but I didn’t want to contribute to your long nights more than I already have. Someone has to look after you.” He mutters that last part, perhaps revealing more than he should and how he feels- but he forgets that you’ve been sleeping horribly so you barely catch wind of his implications. The expression on your face is reserved, clearly a facade as you clear your throat.
“No, that makes sense. Thank you, general, I-“
“You know, it’s long past office hours.” Jing Yuan can’t help but interrupt you this once, bringing the steaming cup of tea up to his lips and blowing softly before he lifts his gaze to you. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t address me by rank. I understand the need to keep yourself at a distance, but there’s no harm in opening up at this moment and letting us speak as two individuals rather than subordinate and general.” He smiles once he’s finished. “It would make me happy to talk to you without those restrictions.”
Again, maybe he’s stating too much. But Jing Yuan has observed a lot in his time and he recognizes that there’s certain moments that call for vulnerability in order to show a favorable outcome. Of course, vulnerability is a tricky thing, which is why he’s normally so hesitant. There’s no honest way to predict emotions like there is fact and logic, so predicting how you might feel to his vulnerability is like taking a shot in the dark.
But in an odd way, Jing Yuan trusts you, and you haven’t proved him wrong to trust you just yet. Especially not when you finally open to him like a flower that hasn’t yet bloomed, your expression loosening and no longer trying to hide like before. It’s a beautiful process to watch.
“I can understand that… Jing Yuan,” you’re shy as you say his name, but your smile overrules that. You try to hide it by taking another sip of your tea, but he sees the edges of your lips upturned and the crinkle in your eyes and he counts himself as satisfied. “I guess I never realized how holding titles can keep the atmosphere stiff.”
“It’s subtle,” he nods along. “But I believe it’s there. Anyhow, you wanted to know how Mimi is doing?”
Your eyes light up, and he’s caught you- hook, line, and sinker. Your conversation becomes a lot less filtered and a lot more genuine as the night continues to tick by, becoming later and later and yet earlier and earlier, depending how you looked at the clock. The food comes by and he knows he made the right choice in your order- just like him, you essentially ravage your plate. That in itself is something not a lot of people get to see- at one point Jing Yuan scoops up some food with his hands and you catch it instantly, your eyes shining with the knowledge as you make eye contact and yet saying nothing at all as he licks his fingers clean.
He wouldn’t dare to be so untidy and messy around anyone else, but it’s all part of the process to show you that you’re unique to him. Around you, he does a lot of things he wouldn’t normally do around others. You’ll come to realize this and what it really means as more time goes on.
It’s once your meals are finished and you’ve got a fresh pot of tea as a palette cleanser that he strikes again, true intentions for tonight coming to light.
“So, my dear ___, tell me. What is it that’s keeping you in the Divine Foresight so late?”
At this point, you’ve relaxed considerably. The possibility of opening up to him has increased dramatically, and Jing Yuan knows you’re about to tell him by the way your demeanor shifts. You’re finally letting yourself look as tired as you feel by just the question alone and knowing you were about to answer it.
“It’s hard to talk about,” you start slowly. “But I guess it’s because I’m trying to keep myself busy.”
Jing Yuan nods along, helping you ever so slightly. “Because you don’t want to go home. And why is that?”
“Um… well, if I have to go home, I have to go to bed eventually. And… I can’t go to bed. I can’t sleep.” Your lips twitch as silence washes over the two of you. He doesn’t want to interrupt you this time, instead offering you the silence so you can gather your thoughts and how you want to communicate them to him. It’s a careful process. “Sometimes it’s just a product of my own design. I stimulate myself too much before bed with work or other things, and it keeps my head awake. Other times, it’s… a lot of nightmares.” You finally let the problem slip, eyes drifting down to your teacup as you smooth your fingers over the rim. “I’ve thought about getting things to help, but… mm.”
Jing Yuan takes a deep breath through his nose, nodding once to show his understanding. “I see. Nightmares are tricky things. And you’re right, I’m sure you’re already aware of the ways you can try and make them disappear, but… it’s a different story if you don’t want them to.”
Your eyes flit up to his, an inch of surprise on your face that he merely smiles at, his eyes soft.
“I’m no stranger to nightmares either. It can be easy to convince yourself that you deserve them. That you need them in order to remember what you don’t want to remember. What you feel guilty over, responsible over, fearful over.” Jing Yuan takes another sip of his tea, letting the flavor sink into his tongue before he swallows. “I have a lot of fears myself. A lot of troubles that could haunt me if I let them. I understand the frustration that you might be facing.”
Setting the cup down, he inches forward into the table just a little bit. “Perhaps this is unwarranted, but may I offer you some advice?”
You seem surprised. Still, you nod, allowing him to continue with interest painted across your features. He notices how you’ve inched along your own seat and says nothing.
“We live long life spans, longer than what was ever intended. With that comes a lot more burdensome and troubling memories than maybe we were designed to handle. It’s natural to have your mind caught up in the excess every so often, considering the circumstances.” His tone is gentle and unwavering as he speaks. “My advice to you is to not be a stranger. I may not know exactly what your nightmares are about, but I can see how they’re affecting you. Do not forget the life in front of you now, the ground you walk, the people you see.” His eyes wander as he talks, to the overhead lanterns that create a soft ambiance to the small creek that lined the Exalting Sanctum and split the land with bridges. “There are a lot of wonderful things waiting for you. Always, day to day. It might not cure your heartache, but that was never the intention. It’s not always about the cure, the end all, erasing it from existence. It’s about nurturing it, forgiving it, loving it, and making peace with it.” Jing Yuan looks back to you, tapping the surface of the table with his fingers. “As long as we are living and breathing and trying to make our way in this universe, I believe it’s our duty to keep an open mind to our pain and know that it’s not always a bad thing to bear as long as you understand the cause, the purpose, and the meaning behind it.”
The silence that follows is long and thoughtful, at least from his own perspective. There’s a chill of wind that blows by, the creek continues to babble, and you look at Jing Yuan like you’re putting together your own puzzle pieces for him just like he is for you.
“Yanqing is right,” you finally speak up after some time. “You speak in a lot of riddles and nonsense, Jing Yuan.”
His eyes widen at your comment, at first too surprised to do anything except state. But then he cannot help the way his head throws back, laughing a little too loud for this time of night. You laugh along with him, eyes squinting with mirth and teeth showing through your smile.
“But still, with that being said,” you continue after the first wave of his laughter has subsided, “I appreciate you a lot. Though what you’ve said doesn’t make sense to me quite yet… I think your actions speak louder than your words.” You hum as you look down at the table with empty plates and tea saucers, laughing to yourself as if it were funny. “Thank you for taking me out tonight. Thank you for noticing. It’s kind of you, Jing Yuan.”
“Well, I’m happy I’ve at least done something right tonight,” he says, scooting out his chair. You look a little surprised before you move to do the same thing, standing up with him as you take your tea cup and finish what was left. “Let me escort you home.”
“You don’t have to do that,” of course, to be polite, you refuse. Just as he knew you would. So he sighs in defeat.
“Alright,” he says. “I suppose I’ll just walk right behind you and be the suspicious figure you have to file a report for tomorrow.”
Jing Yuan thrills in the way you practically squawk with laughter, and just like that he’s walking beside you away from the restaurant, bill being paid for a long time ago. “You really don’t give me a choice then!”
“Mm,” his eye crinkles. “No, not really.”
“At least you’re honest about it.”
“I’m always honest.”
You laugh at him again, rolling your eyes without even trying to hide it from him. “Sure, general.”
The rest of the walk is filled with just as spirited chatter. It’s refreshing to Jing Yuan- while its true that he tends to prefer a mutual, comforting silence, it doesn’t mean he cannot enjoy the moment. He greatly enjoys it- seeing you become so unfiltered around him makes him hopeful and happy, though he tries not to show just how much. By the time the two of you arrive at your home, things finally quiet, and you thank him genuinely as you stop in front of your door.
“There’s no need,” he waves off your thanks easily with a smile. “It was a pleasure to be with you tonight. And I hope you know that while we cannot do it every night, I will always be open to the idea of doing it again.” He hums before continuing, smile dropping a fraction. “And I hope you know I don’t mind your late nights. It’s been nice having the company, but it would be better if I knew it wasn’t at your own expense. Take care of yourself, ___.”
He seems to tie your tongue completely, because you merely stare at him in response. Not that Jing Yuan minds- he always likes when your eyes are on him, especially like this- when you look so soft and precious that you could break without proper care.
He wants to take care of you, he does. But he’ll try his best to reveal that to you along with everything else later on.
“Thank you, Jing Yuan,” your voice is soft once it manages to leave your throat. “I… well. I-“ you seem to be holding something back, expression debating before you visibly steel yourself.
And then, beyond all his expectations and planning, you take a step toward him and wrap your arms around him, closing the space between you. What’s unfair is that you don’t even give him any time to recover from his surprise, don’t give him the time to reciprocate and hold you tenderly and take notice to how your body feels against his-
Because as soon as you came, you’re gone. Face flushed adorably as you avoid his eyes and move toward your door, muttering a wish of goodnight to him. And then he’s suddenly all alone in the chill of night, staring at your front door.
Once Jing Yuan recovers, he can’t find it in himself to even be disappointed. No. No, he can only smile, perhaps he is even beaming as he slowly walks away from your door and back to the station of jetties so he can head home himself. But he’s not so sure he’ll rest all that well tonight, not when his mind is busy going over the night with you. He thinks about everything you said and the opportunities birthed from your honesty. But of course, more than any of that, he’s thinking about what else he’ll have to do to get you to surprise him again. If all it takes is a little vulnerability,
Than Jing Yuan thinks it’s worth it to be vulnerable with you.
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linghxr · 3 months
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Advice I would give my past self about studying Chinese
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Recently I've been reflecting on my Chinese learning journey and how far I've come. If I could go back in time, these are 10 things I would tell my past self. A few are specific to Chinese, but most can apply to any language
It will get so much easier to learn new characters. I remember feeling overwhelmed because learning new characters was a painful process. Now when I encounter a new character, I can remember it with relative ease—it’s just a new combination of familiar components.
Don't feel bad about having uneven development in different skills. My listening and reading are significantly stronger than my speaking and writing. It’s super common and nothing to be ashamed of.
The best way to get over being too embarrassed to speak is to experience some embarrassment and realize it’s not a big deal. I used to be so afraid of making mistakes that I would avoid speaking in class. It was only by being forced to speak that I got over it. I'm much better for it!
It’s impossible to learn everything, and time is limited. You have to prioritize. You probably don’t need to know how to say “pawnshop” in Chinese, and trying to jam your head full of 100 words you saw once won’t work. They won’t stick.
It will actually be harder to read pinyin than to read characters at some point. When I helped a friend with a script for her Chinese class, I really struggled because she had written it entirely in pinyin. I had to write out the characters to read without stumbling! I know characters are daunting for beginners, but trust me, you will get used to them.
If you haven’t practiced or learned something, of course you won’t be good at it. I remember feeling so frustrated trying to navigate Chinese websites for the first time. In retrospect, obviously, I was going to struggle with something completely new to me!
If something isn’t sticking, move on. Why waste time on a word that’s not clicking when you could be learning five new ones? It will only result in unnecessary frustration. So unless you need to know it for your class or a proficiency test, drop it and move on.
Don’t beat yourself up when you have trouble understanding music, literature, different accents, etc. These can be challenging even in your native language. Of course you’re going to struggle more in a new language.
It's worth it to pay attention to things like stroke order and tones from the start so you don't form bad habits. Don’t stress about get it perfect, but it’s easier to do it right the first time than to have to correct your bad habits in the future.
Instead of feeling overwhelmed by all that you don’t know, learn how to express yourself with what you do know. It’s truly its own skill that requires practice. After all, in life you can’t always stop and pull out a dictionary.
I started learning Chinese a really long time ago, but I became more serious about it in 2018, so 5 1/2 years ago. I'm very proud of how far I've come, but I still have a long way to go! I look forward to revisiting this post in another couple of years 😊
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crybaby-bkg · 1 year
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You try not to rustle the sheets too loudly when you sit up in bed. You rub at your eyes, frowning, as you tap at your phone screen to read the time. 3:26am, and you haven’t gotten the sleep you know you both need and deserve. you sigh quietly, sitting up against the headboard as you watch the dimmed colors pass on the tv.
“What’re you doing up?” A voice slurs to you from your left. You jump a little at the sudden gruff noise, before you deflate. You glance over to Bakugou, where he lays on his side, one crimson colored eye blinking up at you, before he yawns loud and wide, akin to a lion with his golden mane. You can’t help but rub gently at his cheek and jaw and neck, patting him once his eye flutters close at the warmth of your hands.
“Can’t sleep. You go back to bed, though.” You whisper to him, leaning down to peck at the corner of his mouth. You laugh under your breath when he frowns, hard and over dramatic. Silence passes on for a few minutes, with Bakugou’s frown slowly disappearing into a thin line, seemingly falling back asleep as your fingers continue to rub at his skin. Your quiet moment is interrupted though, when your stomach makes a whale-dying-classroom-interrupting-bomb-dropping noise. You don’t say anything, but blink down at Bakugou when he cracks his eye open again.
“You hungry?” He slurs once more, stretching a little in place as you run a hand through his hair.
“Yeah, but I don’t feel like getting up to fix anything, and we haven’t gone to the store yet to get some snacks, so,” you shrug to yourself, convincing yourself you’d fall asleep before the hunger pangs set in. It’s your turn to frown though, when Bakugou suddenly groans before rolling over and standing from the bed.
“Where are you going?" You ask him, afraid you and your loud stomach disturbed his rest too much. You watch how the muscle in his back ripple when he stretches again where he stands, guilty eyes tracking up his body when he looks at you from over his shoulder.
“To fix your hungry ass a midnight snack.” He tells you, finality lacing his voice as he starts stalking off to the kitchen in just his boxers before you can even answer.
“But it’s past midnight!” You call to him, scrambling up to put your slippers on as you try to keep up with his pace.
Bakugou doesn’t answer you by the time you make it to the kitchen, already boiling water, and dumping rice into the cooker. He’s pulling out different ingredients and knives and the cutting board, and it feels like too much to be so late, but you know if you try to speak up, he’ll only shoo you to bed until he’s finished. The only acknowledgment he gives you is when he turns, placing his hands on your underwear-clad hips and lifts you to sit on the counter behind him, pecking your lips once, twice, before he goes back over to the stove.
The next couple minutes go by gently, with quiet conversations about his most recent capture, about the paperwork you had to fill out, about Denki being an idiot, about Denki actually being a sweetheart, about eating all this damn food he’s cooking, about promising to clean your entire plate. The kitchens lights are low and dimmed, and it casts a soft glow on Bakugou’s high cheekbones and his pretty lashes and the sweet curve of his mouth when he grins at you.
And when the food finishes, you share a bowl, a respective fork for the each of you. Bakugou stands between your legs, chewing quietly and scolds for you to slow down when you eat too fast. He wipes away the rice from your mouth and you lick away the sauce from his chin. He grabs a water bottle from the fridge and lets you have the first sip, offers you the rest when you watch some of it dribble down his chin.
It’s a serene moment shared between the two of you, and when you’re both finished, he’s carrying you back to bed. Tells you that you better take your full ass to bed this time, and he doesn’t fall asleep until he hears your light snores first. Then, he can rest.
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soobnny · 7 months
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swipe — lee felix.
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trope. lee felix. strangers to lovers. chronicles of a dating app. felix is extremely flirty. just fluff.
synopsis. i’m not looking to date right now, but my parents just sent me some computer parts and i saw on your tinder bio that you like assembling computers
word count. 3.2k words
warnings. none except for a few curse words
note. hi hello i got sent this rly funny photo of a conversation so i took inspiration from that and wrote this fic like a whiiile ago. i’ve had this in my drafts for a while so why not let it see the light of day!
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Left. Left. Left. Left. Pause. Left. Left. Left. Left.
“(Name)!”
Yunjin offers no warning when her hands move to claw at your shoulders, intent on startling you without sparing a thought on your poor phone that had jumped out of your hands.
When you scare, she laughs, open-mouthed and loud as she plops herself on the spot next to you on your dorm’s mini couch. “You should’ve seen the look on your face.”
“Honestly, how do you even do that? I barely heard you walk into the living room!” You grumble.
You spare her a glance and notice she’s too dressed up to be staying the night in–white crop top that sits just above her hips with some low rise jeans to accentuate her features. Her hair is curled on the ends, recently dyed black and styled to look a little messy.
She must be going out.
Though you try not to think about it, the amount of times Yunjin goes out with her friends in a week is a constant reminder of how pathetic your social life is. While it didn’t quite bother you enough to accept her invite, it’d be nice to leave your dorm once in a while. It’s just that you haven’t found anyone you really clicked with like Yunjin.
“What are you doing?” She cranes her neck to try and see what you were so busy with that you didn’t see her from your peripheral vision.
You show her the app with no shame. It only makes her laugh tenfold, hands clutching her stomach with her head thrown back as if she wasn’t the one who had suggested you download it in the first place.
“Yunjin, this is stupid. I’ve only had this downloaded for a day and I already feel sick.” You groan, throwing your phone down in the space between you. Though, maybe you should’ve thought twice about that when Yunjin decides to grab so she can have a go herself – swiping left and left and left and… oh?
“What about him?” You curl into her side, peering over your phone.
Oh, he’s pretty cute. Lee Felix?
“He added dog lover. You love dogs and… music?” She goes over his interests quickly, eyes scanning his profile like a pro. You suppose it’s because she’s used to it, quick to read a guy’s intentions just by their Tinder profile.
“I like assembling computers. Oh, this guy’s a dork, you’d love him.”
Right.
It’s a match!
“Yunjin!” You shift in your seat, immediately grabbing your phone from her grip before she can do any further damage. Sure, you had humored yourself into downloading the app for Yunjin but you never thought of actually swiping right for anyone.
“What? He’s cute, and you matched!” She giggles, trying to grab your phone back so she can craft you the perfect first message.
She knows you won’t do it yourself.
You lock your phone before she has a chance to do anything stupid, shaking your head in reprimand. “I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not happening.”
She simply smiles at you, shrugging her shoulders and calling it a day for her trial in meddling with your love life. “Well, I tried. Alright, I have to go. I’ll be back late, you sure you don’t wanna come with?”
You return the smile, shaking your head as you drop yourself to lay down on the entirety of the couch once your roommate gets up. “I think my computer parts are coming in today so I have to be here to sign off the delivery.”
“Nerd.” She snorts, waving you goodbye and locking the door behind her. It’s your cue to grab your laptop and continue binging that new drama that had just been released.
This is your ordinary Friday night, curled up on the sofa with your most comfortable blanket and your laptop on your lap. Despite the desire to socialize sometimes, you think nothing else really goes above wearing your favorite PJs and eating snacks without guilt as the opening song of your new drama plays.
Though, you only get to finish one episode when your doorbell rings, and you waltz yourself to your front door to happily accept the package sent by your parents. They had won it as one of the raffle prizes in a foreign business trip, and since your parents had no use for a computer, they decided to ship it off to you. “Could help with college,” is what your dad says.
It’s only when multiple boxes come rolling in when you realize one small problem. You don’t know how to fucking assemble a computer, and you doubt Yunjin would know how either.
“That’s it. If you could please sign here, here, and here.” The mailman still sounds enthusiastic despite having done hours of his shift already, and you comply immediately as to not add on to the downpour of stress that’s handed to them every single day.
When you shut your door, you quickly turn around to stare at the multitude of boxes on the ground. Maybe Beomgyu would know how? He looks like he’d know a thing or two about computers. So, you shoot him a text.
Turns out, he doesn’t know how. And he’s currently scamming Yeonjun out of a free dinner, and so even though he tells you he’ll try to be there, you know he probably won’t arrive (unless to laugh at your situation).
You think, maybe you can just go to the Computer Engineering department and ask someone to help you, but could you risk socializing with numerous college students face to face? Absolutely the fuck not.
You’ve just about given up when your head strikes an idea and your back immediately straightens in posture at the stupid thought. “Should I?”
You rush towards where you had left your phone, letting out a sigh as you stare at the one person on your Match list. Lee Felix who likes assembling computers.
Lovely fucking timing.
Fumbling with the device, you finally decide to shoot him a message. What are the odds of him responding, anyway?
You’re tempted to throw your phone while waiting for his response, though your plan goes down the drain in a second when he responds almost immediately.
yn (6:03pm): hello!
felix (6:04pm): hey! i didn’t think you would message first :))
yn (6:06pm): oh, i’m sorry i hope you don’t get my intentions wrong. it’s just that … my parents sent over some computer parts and i rly don’t know how to assemble a computer
yn (6:06pm): i know it’s kind of random, but could u possibly help me by any chance?
yn (6:07pm): i don’t rly know anyone who knows how to and you’re the only person that came to mind
You cringe at yourself for triple messaging, face visibly scrunching as you let out a pained noise. And then he replies, and your hand shoots to grab your phone and stare at his message.
“Yeah, why not?” is what he replies, followed by where he should meet you. Is it a good idea to invite a stranger to your dorm? Probably not, but you can’t possibly assemble your computer somewhere else and bring it back to your dorms. So, you tell him to meet you at a cafe nearby – to test out the waters and see if he isn’t some variant of a serial killer.
“Be there in 15,” is his next reply.
15 minutes?!
You look down at yourself in sudden panic, still clad in a big shirt and some shorts. How were you supposed to pick something decent to wear in 15 minutes without Yunjin? You suppose could facetime her but you know it takes her hours to even decide on what to wear for herself.
Bringing your feet towards your closet, you say a silent prayer and start picking out what to wear for yourself. While this wasn’t technically a date, Lee Felix from Tinder is still fucking cute and you would hate for him to think he got scammed into swiping right on you.
You double check yourself in the mirror, chewing at your lips thoughtfully before sighing out in approval. At least you looked as if you put some sort of effort into what you’re wearing. That should be good enough in itself.
The nerve of meeting an entirely new person begins to set in when you repeatedly dart your eyes from the coffee shop back to your phone to try and see if anyone who looked like Felix was in the coffee shop. It’s like watching a game of ping pong the way you repeatedly look back and forth. And when it seems that no one with long black hair is here yet, you take it upon yourself to take a seat by the window where he can find you easily.
The scraping of the chair catches your attention, and holy fuck. Lee Felix is not a catfish. He is way far from it, and you think you might’ve lucked out when he takes the seat in front of you.
“Sorry, I hope I didn’t startle you.” Deep, thick accent. It feels like shots of espresso when he speaks and it physically manifests goosebumps from you. You shake your head, telling him you’re fine. “(Name), right?”
He smiles, and it feels like your whole world stops.
“Uh, yeah. You must be Felix?” The man in question nods his head, reaching out to shake your hand and the gesture has your cheeks flushing. It’s an act of basic human decency, but can you really be blamed for acting like a shy little school girl when someone as beautiful as Felix is sitting and talking to you.
The coffee shop is still bustling, and everyone around you converses as if the most beautiful man hadn’t just stepped foot into the coffee shop. The freckles sitting just below his eyes look like constellations, and his black hair is styled just messy enough to achieve the hot boy who doesn’t know he’s hot look.
“Do you want some coffee before I set your computer up?” You shake your head, suddenly feeling shy.
Instead, you tell him to get whatever he wants so you don’t feel guilty enough for taking time out of his evening just to assemble your computer. He accepts your promise in pretense, but he comes back with his order and a few pastries and it’s clear he’s already paid for it from the way he ignores any mention of how much it cost.
“I didn’t know what you preferred, so I got a bit of everything.” There’s a crinkle just at the corner of his eyes when he smiles, sitting back down adjacent of you as he pushes the plate closer to you.
You look at the array of pastries, a little hesitant. “Please don’t feel shy. Here, let’s take one together.”
He grabs a cookie from the platter, and you shyly follow by grabbing a strawberry muffin.
“Mmm, strawberry muffin. Very good choice.” Felix comments, watching you closely as you take a bite out of the muffin. “Is it good?”
Your eyes widen in delight, nodding your head as you chew slowly. “So good.”
Your words come out as a mumble, and it triggers a sweet laugh out of Felix. You feel familiar, the way you smile with your eyes and close them shut to savor the taste.
“You’re cute.” He says unabashedly, as if his words won’t cause drastic consequences.
A chunk gets stuck on your throat.
Felix is quick to hand you a glass of water when you start choking, rushing to stand by your side. You would’ve hoped the first skinship for the evening would be handholding, and not repeated pats on your back to remedy your choking.
“Are you okay?” His hand is still on your back, gently running small circles as he leans down to check on you. You think you might start choking again if he keeps looking at you like that, 1080p view of his eyelashes and the specs splashing his irises.
“Mhm, sorry.” You put the glass down, refusing to meet his eyes as he remains hovering over you. You want to leave out of embarrassment. He notices your silence, notices the way you cross your arms in mock defense.
“Don’t worry, I still think you’re cute.” There’s a smirk on his face. You can tell without even looking up at him. “I’ll take these out.”
He says it so casually, as if he’s simply asking about your day. His outward flirty-ness is new, but it isn’t unwelcome.
“Ready to go?”
With the plastic bag in his hand and his order in a takeout cup, you sigh gratefully. “Yeah.”
The walk to your dorm is short, but it’s spent in conversation. Lee Felix is talkative, has lots of stories to offer. Whatever it takes to make you laugh.
You like that about him. You like that you don’t have to talk so much. He doesn’t even force a comment out of you. Just needs to know you’re listening.
So you do. You listen intently as he shares pieces of his life with you—his friends, his course, games he plays. He’s chatty, and the way he smiles with every word reminds you of a cat. Deep whiskers and crescent eyes.
“So, really, this is a great way to end the day, assembling a pretty girl’s computer.”
His mouth drops a little when he realizes he’d vocalized the latter part of his sentence, yet he doesn’t make a move to take it back. You are pretty, one of the prettiest he’s ever seen. And the blush on your face is well worth the slip of his tongue.
“As long as you’re sure this isn’t a hassle.” You mumble, looking down at your feet as you reach your building.
That you aren’t getting anything out of this.
Though, before you can step forward, you’re tugged back to where Felix is standing. He’s holding your hand now, grabbing your full attention. “I promise this isn’t a bother.”
The way he looks at you answers your silent question—he doesn’t mind that you’re simply asking for his help without any intention.
“I enjoy building computers, especially with good company. You don’t even have to do anything. Just sit there and be yourself.”
“Okay. Thank you.” He squeezes your hand for extra measure, allowing you to drag him to your dorm room.
True to his word, Felix doesn’t so much as let you lift a finger. You stay seated on the couch, watching as he sets to work on the floor. From time to time, he’d tell you what he’s doing. Something about screwing some parts in and a mother board? You don’t understand much, but you listen as much as you can.
“Tell me about yourself.” Felix looks up from his work, and your eyes widen a little at the boy’s sudden request.
You’re sure you’re simply imagining the gentle interest in his eyes. “Hm?” You ask him to repeat himself, even though you heard him loud and clear.
“I’ve been yapping about myself all night. I wanna know more about you.” He teases.
“What do you want to know?”
“Anything. Everything.”
“Soooo… do I start with the year I was born?” You laugh when he throws you a look, quick to throw your hands in the air in mock surrender. “Joking, joking.”
“You’re an interesting girl, (Name).” Felix grins, locking eyes with you for a second and a half before turning back to his work.
“There’s nothing much to me, really. I go to school and go home and that’s about it. I just try and survive college the best I can.”
He shoots you a disapproving look. “Well, I beg to differ.”
“What do you mean?” You bring your legs up on the couch, sitting cross-legged as you wait for what he had to say.
“For one, your eyes lit up when I talked about Chan’s Pokemon collection, or how Seungmin is obsessed with Kdramas.” He points out, reaching for his takeout drink and taking a few large gulps. “And you smiled when I mentioned the little chicken plush I own.”
You don’t expect Felix to notice any of this, and the thought that he did has a blush fighting to creep up your face.
You grab a throw pillow to hide behind.
“Oh, and you like strawberry muffins. So, I’d say there’s a lot to you. And I’m hoping to learn everything more.”
You have to force your eyes to look away from him in fear that your flustered cheeks would appear too obvious to the boy. Though, if he’d noticed the mere brightening of your eyes, you’re sure he’s already caught on to the silly schoolgirl smile on your lips.
“Stop looking at me.” You mumble, burying your face in your pillow. All you can hear is his sweet laughter.
“Come here, I’m just about done.”
You clap your hands in small when he turns on your computer, fully functioning and fully assembled. It surprises you how a task that would’ve taken you 6 hours is done in under 2 by Felix. Even more that it didn’t even feel like two hours.
You suppose that’s just the thing with Felix. He makes it so that time disappears with the whole night sky in his eyes—the moon for eyes and stars littering his face.
“Thank you, Felix. Like really.” He dismisses you, telling you it was nothing. The satisfaction on your face is enough compensation for his work.
There’s a few do’s and don’t’s that he mentions, and you try to list them down the best you can.
“Or, I can just text it to you?”
You pause mid-writing, looking up at him. “Sure, that’s… that’s fine with me.”
You’re unsure of how to say goodbye to him after giving him your number, unsure even of how you can make it up to him for the 3 hours you’d taken away from him. If it were anyone else, you would’ve said it in ease, so you don’t know why you can’t do the same for Felix.
It’s different with him because you don’t want to say goodbye. You could go hours longer listening to him and watching him assemble your computer. Though, before you can contemplate to do anything, Felix interrupts your inner monologue.
“Actually, I have an idea on how you can make it up to me.”
You look up at him expectantly, and you see the hint of a smirk tracing on his features.
“Let me take you out on a date. A real one.”
“A date?” You stutter.
“I know you said you texted me just because I could fix up computers, but I really enjoyed talking to you today.” He’s holding back a smile. “So, what do you say?”
“Okay.” His eyes light up, glazed with happiness as he processes your response.
“Okay? As in, I can take you out on a real date?”
“Yes.”
Felix can feel something sweet in his heart, can feel it flutter like it’s being squeezed. To his surprise, you’d actually agreed, and the genuine excitement in his smile is too wholesome to not stare at.
“So… goodnight then?”
“Goodnight.”
“I’ll text you?”
“Okay. I’ll be waiting.”
Felix fixes you with a look one last time, almost romantic with the soft glaze in his eyes. And then he’s stumbling out into your hallway.
With a second glance, he turns his back away from you and walks away. You can’t help but still feel the warmth of his smile.
You feel a compelling force telling you you’ll see much more of Lee Felix in the near future.
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icaruspendragon · 3 months
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\⁠(⁠°⁠o⁠°⁠)⁠/you're aspec too!!! (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) I love finding other fellow asexuals!!!
it’s actually been a rather recent discovery for me. because while i’ve known about asexuality since i was like 14, my understanding of it was pretty superficial until about a year or so ago.
during college i’d hear my friends talking about sex and how great it was or i’d read in fanfic about how it was this incredibly pleasurable thing and be like “hm. that is not how i feel during it but maybe i just haven’t been with the right partner.” but i’d had a couple enjoyable experiences, so the possibility of being aspec simply did not cross my mind. especially as i grew more comfortable and confident in my bisexuality. while i know it’s flawed now, my line of thinking at the time was, “i can’t be ace because im bi.”
i think it was hard for me to figure it all out because sex was always fine, it was just seldom to never something i thought to do unless it’s what my partner wanted. like i didn’t mind it. but apparently lots of people enjoy it a great deal and want to initiate it on their own. i’ve never really been one of those people.
and it was easy to write off/ignore for a long time as i thought my lack of want to have sexual encounters had to do with trauma/mental illness, but as i worked through and processed it all, my desire (or lack there of) stayed the same.
so it’s really only been within the past few months of somewhat frantic googling and discussions with people who are ace that i realized all signs were pointing to aspec. i mean all signs have been pointing there for a while. just look at this text i sent my friend scott back in 2021.
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but i didn’t have the words/label to adequately describe what i’ve always felt. like i can’t tell you how many trips i made to the gynecologist to try and “figure out” what was “wrong” with me. but now i know there’s nothing wrong with me. i just don’t really feel sexual attraction. and that’s okay!! i’m not broken or damaged or whatever thoughts i had from like ages 19-25 about sex and my relationship with it were telling me.
the aspec label itself is one that i’ve only felt comfortable using for the past few weeks, but it definitely feels like the right one. even though having a name for it is a recent thing for me, i’ve always felt this way.
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tomblythismyhusband · 4 months
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dress [ young!snow x fem!reader ]
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[summary]: young!student!snow x fem!reader | You’ve had a crush on Coriolanus for years and tonight, wearing a dress you picked out just for him, you finally get what you want.
[warnings]: 18+, smut, pnv, language, other smut warnings yk yk, fingering, unprotected
[wc:] 2.4k
[note:] wrote this story in first person…. can’t decide if i like it or not +inspired by the song - [dress - taylor swift]
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My eyes swept across the busy ballroom floor of the academy. It was filled to the brim with people laughing, drinking, dancing, all of it. I pulled down my red silk dress nervously that was a little too short for my liking.
I always had been very adamant about wearing what I wanted, but not today. I was here to impress someone, specifically Coriolanus Snow.
We have been close friends since we were practically babies. Our families grew up together. I know all his secrets, and he knows all of mine. I was one of the only people that knew about his family’s financial state, his worries, and his heartaches. I never ever thought twice about judging him for it either. The world was a tough place. Especially after the war.
My eyes still searched for him. A tiny doubt in the back of my mind wondered if he even would show up. I had never thought to ask, I just assumed.
I sighed and grabbed a drink of posca and strode over to Clemensia and Arachne, who were also close friends to me. When I came over to join their group, they were talking about a guy, as usual. When they noticed me Arachne flashed a grin.
“Speaking of obsessed….” She said in a teasing tone.
I had no idea what they were talking about before so my eyebrows knit in confusion.
I cocked my head to the side. “What are you two talking about?” I asked, taking a sip of the sweet liquor in my hands.
Clemensia giggled. “We were just talking about Festus Creed and how obsessed he’s been with me lately.” She smirked. “Reminds me of someone…”
Arachne let out a laugh as I felt my cheeks heat. I had told them about my little crush on Coriolanus but I haven’t gotten used to their taunts yet.
“Stop it…” I murmured.
“I say you make a move tonight.” Arachne suggested raising her eyebrows.
I sighed. Something had been off between Coriolanus and I recently. I wasn’t entirely sure, I’m thinking It’s just stress. He’s been so focused on winning the Plinth Prize this year that he’s been working himself to death.
“I don’t think he sees me that way. We’ve been friends for so long.”
Clemensia let out a laugh. “With the way you’re dressed tonight? He’ll definitely see you that way.”
I blushed again, running my hands down the fabric. I hated being desperate but this dress was all I was depending on. The color, the length, the way it hugged my body, were all decisions I made with Coriolanus in mind.
Arachne’s smile widened. “I see him. He’s here.” Her excitement was obvious. Either she was actually excited for me to shoot my shot or she was excited to watch me fail horribly. I could never tell with her.
I turned my body slightly, stealing a glance at Coriolanus. He was gorgeous. His blonde curls were neat and his dress shirt and pants pressed to perfection. I knew I couldn’t stare for too long but I couldn’t help myself. He looked bored, standing away from the crowds.
I turned away from the sight and looked at Clemmie and Arachne. “I’m going over.” I said confidently. “It’s fine we’re friends.” They both egged me on as I placed my now empty posca I had downed onto a platter of dirty cups and started to make my way over to him. My heart was thumping in my chest, my palms sticky with sweat. I was never this nervous with him in class, or when we would study together but this romantic dance setting changed everything.
He was looking around when suddenly his blue eyes met mine. His body language instantly changed as I smiled at him. He looked…. nervous? Uncomfortable? He was so hard to read sometimes.
“Hey you made it!” I said sweetly, masking the nervousness I was feeling.
His mouth quirked up into a smile. “You know I wouldn’t miss it.” He said lowly. His eyes flicked down at my dress then back up to my eyes. “Nice dress Y/n” He said quietly. I blushed looking down at it. “Thanks… I picked it out specially for today.” When I looked back up at him he looked overwhelmed. I felt extremely awkward and bit my lip. “Wanna dance?” I said sticking out my hand. He hesitated for a moment before taking it. I prayed that he wouldn’t feel how nervous I was. I led him to the dance floor.
We positioned ourselves across from each other as I put one of my hands on his shoulders as he held the other. I felt his hand snake around my waist. I’ve waltzed countless times before but doing it with Coriolanus made me trip over my own feet.
Coriolanus chuckled, looking down at me. “Clumsy today?” He teased. I felt his hand squeeze mine as I returned a giggle.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I sighed, smiling at him.
We continued to dance till my feet were numb. I felt much more comfortable now, my nervousness melting away as he spun me around effortlessly.
After a while I felt him lean in close to my ear. “Want to go take a breather?”
I couldn’t be more happy with a question as I nodded, following him off the dance floor. I stole a glance at Clemensia, raising my eyebrows at her, as she grinned back at me. He led me out of the noisy ballroom to the empty hallway that lay just outside.
I leaned up against the wall, letting out a breath. “Never knew dancing could take so much out of a person.” I laughed.
Coriolanus smirked, looking amused. “You're a good dancer. You lasted a lot longer than I expected you to.”
My cheeks heated at the statement. I don’t think he meant for it to be suggestive but It definitely made my mind go to the gutter.
He paused, lips parted, then laughed at himself. “That sounded wrong didn't it?”
I bit back a giggle looking at him. “Definitely did.”
He sighed looking at me, almost longingly. “It’s getting late. I didn’t really want to stay here too long, I going to head home.”
A pang of panic flashed through my body. He can’t leave yet! I’ve barely gotten to spend time with him like I wanted.
“Awh come on.. don’t let the fun end yet.” I pouted, giving him a small smile.
His voice lowered as he moved closer to me. “Or…..You could come with me… Tigris isn’t home.”
I felt my breath hitch at the suggestion. I couldn’t decipher where he was going with this.
“Why would I care if Tigris is home? I love her….” I wanted to know his real intentions.
His intense gaze met my eyes. “Y/n.. I was hoping we could…..”
Without thinking I leaned up, kissing him. His lips felt exactly like I had daydreamed about. Soft and warm. He let out a grunt as I kissed him, before I pulled back. I stared up at him and silently prayed that I read into the situation correctly. He stared at me for a moment, studying my face. “I want you Y/n.” He said in a low voice, dripping with desire.
I let out a small gasp. “Are you s-“
“I’m sure.” He said cutting me off. He pulled my waist against him. “What do you say darling?”
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Next thing I was stumbling into Coriolanus’ bedroom. His Grandma’am was dead asleep and Tigris was gone for the night. My heart fluttered as he closed and locked his bedroom door behind him before pushing me up against the stiff wood. I had been in Coriolanus’ room many times but never was I this excited.
His lips mashed into mine, desperately. I felt his big hands slowly travel up my thighs.
“You look so stunning in this dress..” He mumbled against my lips.
“I wore it just for you.” I whispered. He was flattered and pulled back.
I bit my lip and stared up at him.
“I only bought this dress so you could take it off…”
He moaned at my words, meeting my lips for another hungry kiss.
“I’ll make sure that happens darling.” He promised as his hands slid up to grip my waist tighter. My panties were absolutely soaked, as his tongue slipped into my mouth causing me to let out a tiny moan. He was starting to get rough, dominant.
Luckily neither of us were virgins so our hands knew exactly where to go. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips more into mine. He growled as he pushed up against me.
“Take it off…..” I whispered, slightly shifting my body in my dress. I let one of the straps of my dress fall slack off my shoulder. I watched as Coriolanus grinned and wrapped his arms around me to fumble with the zipper. I felt him slowly zip me down, my body feeling more exposed with every moment. His fingers were gentle as they ran over my skin.
With the dress fully unzipped he slid it down, the red fabric pooling at my feet like blood. He was silent for a moment as he gazed at my body. I had put on a lacy black bra and panty set that I was glad he got to see. He dragged one of his hands up to my breasts, lightly massaging them as his lips found my neck.
“I liked the dress, but I like you like this a lot more.” He mumbled into my neck as his hands squeezed my tits. I let out a moan as he nipped my skin. His hands were rough, his mouth gentle. I was in heaven.
My hands fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, unbuttoning them one by one. He contributed by pulling to off and throwing it to the ground. He was lean, the sharp angles of his body making my heart pound even harder. He was beautiful. I wanted him to destroy me.
I threw my hands around his neck and slammed his face against mine. He moaned into my mouth as my hands dug into his blonde hair.
“Let me pick you up.” He directed in a raspy voice between kisses. I did as directed and shifted my body so he could pick me up. His kisses still on my body, he picked me up, supporting me by my ass as my legs wrapped around his waist. I loved the feeling of his bare skin against my thighs.
He carried me to the bed and laid me down softly. I heard him unzip his pants and watched as they fell to the floor. I unclipped my bra, throwing it in the floor, earning a smirk from him.
His boxers went next, he slid them down, his big erection springing out. My breath hitched at the sight as I laid there, my panties still absolutely soaked. He climbed on top of me, smirking as he kissed my collar bone.
“Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you first.” He said in a low tone. I felt his cold hand slide then dip beneath the waistband of my panties.
His fingers felt around my folds. I couldn’t breathe. His touch soon found my clit and I jerked as he started to rub firm circles on the spot. He kept kissing my chest as his fingers moved faster and faster.
I could see stars as I closed my eyes, my breathing picking up pace. “Corio..” I moaned as I arched into his touch. My hands gripped the sheets on either side of me. No matter how loud my moans got he didn’t let up the pressure. A familiar knot signaling I was getting closer to an orgasm formed in the pit of my stomach.
Coriolanus kept squeezing and circling my clit as he left kisses on my jaw. Finally my eyes squeezed shut and white light flashed in my vision. My legs were shaking violently as he removed his fingers from my cunt.
I opened my eyes to see him suck his fingers, letting out a hum as he stared at me, proud of himself.
“Ready for more love?” He teased in a low voice as he hooked his finger on my panties pulling them off.
“I want you.” I replied, still dazed from the orgasm he had just given me.
He spread my legs, his iron grip keeping me still as I whimpered with need. Coriolanus rubbed the tip of his cock on my entrance before sinking into me.
He let out a low throaty moan as he started to move in and out of my pussy.
“Fuck you feel good.” He croaked, picking up speed. My jaw went slack as he moved. His thrusts becoming more and more aggressive.
I felt my eyes roll back with every swift motion. I felt the knot building in the pit of my stomach again signaling that I was climbing up to another orgasm.
Coriolanus’ right grip on me never faltered as he hit my g-spot perfectly with each stroke. “Corio.. I’m almost there.” I moaned, my hands clawing at his back.
“Just a little more darling.” He said in a rough voice. His eyes were squeezed shut, his mouth open letting out breaths of pleasure.
He shifted his body so he was closer to my face as his hips snapped against mine.
“You’re so gorgeous.” He murmured, gripping my hips as I let out a muffled cry. I couldn’t think. He filled all of my senses as I orgasmed around his cock.
He gave me a deep kiss as I squeezed around him. I was a shaken mess. Finally I felt him pull out and release on my tummy. His body fell next to mine as he kissed my neck.
“That was amazing Y/n.” He sighed, running his fingers gently over me.
I gave him a sleepy smile. “I’ve wanted you for so long.” I whispered, meeting his eyes. We were both still breathless and in a state of bliss.
He ran his hand through my hair and gave me a soft smile. “I’ve wanted you too, for a while now. That dress of yours just put me over the edge.”
I blushed at this statement as he pulled my close, encasing me in his arms
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