#i don't know anything about dnd actually so sorry if it's wrong

[hairmetal666]

Never in a million years did Steve Harrington think he'd be standing in the drama club room in front of Eddie the Freak--who's sitting on a goddamn throne with his full lips pulled into a smug grin--asking to be taught how to play Dorks and Goblins. Yet, here he is, face a burning shade of crimson, as he explains for the sixth time what, exactly, he needs.

"Munson, it's not that hard. Henderson wants me to play in the--the game thingy they're doing when Will is home for a visit."

"Yeah, Harrington, and I stop listening every time you call it a game thingy. You obviously don't care about this at all, so why should I waste my time helping you?"

Steve rolls his eyes. "What if I pay you?"

Munson's face goes through a complicated series of changes before falling into a neutral mask, no smirk or teasing smile to be found. "You'll pay me to teach you dnd? Are you fucking kidding?"

"No?' Steve draws a hand through his hair, watches as Munson's dark eyes track the movement. "I thought you might help me out cause those kids never shut-up about you, but I'm willing to put money on it."

"Huh," Eddie says. He steeples his fingers under his chin. "Maybe I misjudged you, Harrington."

Steve lets himself smile at this. "I don't think you did. I don't give a shit about this game."

"Didn't take you for one to have a bunch of nerdy child friends."

"I'm their babysitter," he says, realizes immediately it was a mistake.

Eddie cackles until it turns into a full-bodied laugh, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. "You are something else, Harrington," he manages.

For his part, Steve hopes Munson hasn't noticed how bright red his face is. "Does that mean you'll help me?"

"I guess," he rolls his eyes. "But if you're just screwing around, I'm out."

"No, yeah, totally," Steve nods too hard, sends his hair cascading into his face. "Sounds good. How much?"

"Huh?" Eddie tilts his face up, giving Steve a perfect view of the smattering of faint freckles across the bridge of his nose.

"I said I'd pay you. What's the going rate for dnd lessons?"

"Oh, nah, free of charge, Harrington. Henderson would eat me alive if he knew I made you pay."

The smile they share is soft, tentative, and Steve doesn't notice the swathes of pink decorating Eddie's pale cheekbones.

---

They meet up in the drama room after the last bell. Eddie is waiting on the throne with his feet propped on the table, sipping a Mt. Dew. His eyes widen when Steve walks into the room.

"You're on time," he says.

Steve scoffs. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Eddie shrugs, sets his feet on the floor. "Just wasn't aware that the King put a lot of stock in punctuality."

"C'mon, man, I'm trying not to be that guy, and I'm definitely not king of anything. Unless maybe it's Family Video, but even then, that's Robin."

"You're kind of weird, Harrington, you know that?" Eddie's dimples bracket his smile. The sight does weird things in Steve's chest.

"I've been told, yeah." Steve smiles back. "Where do we start?"

They start with dice, with a character sheet.

"Chaotic-good human Paladin?" Eddie asks.

He shrugs. "That's what Dustin keeps screaming at me. I got no idea what any of it means."

"That's not entirely true," Eddie says. "You've kept up with me so far."

"Yeah, that's you. Dustin rambles and then accuses me of not listening when it's over my head. When he goes on long enough, I start to get a headache right here," Steve rubs the spot between his eyes.

"That kid," Eddie says with the right combination of affection and frustration. "I don't know, you seem to have picked up on some of the stuff he said. You have a solid idea on gameplay, at least. I'd say you're doing pretty good."

"Thanks," Steve laughs. "No migraine yet, so that's a point in your favor."

"Migraines?"

"Head trauma."

"Byers?"

"And Hargrove."

"That was Hargrove?" Eddie asks.

"Hit me in the head with a plate."

"What the fuck."

"He was pissed that Max was friends with Lucas. He came after them. I couldn't just let him--I think he would've killed Lucas."

Eddie nods, hands fiddling with a die. "No wonder those kids love you," he says.

"We've been through some shit together."

"Guess it makes more sense why you wanted to learn dnd."

"As much as it pains me to admit," Steve rolls his eyes. "I love to make those little shitheads happy."

"Well, based on the way they talk about you, you succeed."

"You too, you know?" Steve offers. "All I've heard about the last three months is 'Eddie's so cool,' 'Hellfire's so fun.'"

"Jealous?" Eddie laughs.

"Completely," Steve admits.

"Don't worry, Harrington, I'll make a nerd out of you yet."

---

They meetup after school every day they can over the next two weeks. At first, Steve is surprised that he doesn't really mind spending so much time with Munson, that he actually, kind of, has fun. And the more time they spend together, the more Eddie infiltrates his space. Leans into Steve's side as they sit next to each other, brushes their hands together, hovers over his shoulder, faces nearly touching, as he checks stuff on Steve's character sheet.

It makes Steve feel--well, it makes him think of what it would be like to run his fingers through the soft gloss of Eddie's curls; wonders what that plump mouth would be like pressed against his own; can't stop thinking about if Eddie is as vocal in bed as he is everywhere else. He knows he also likes guys, has for a while, but he's never in his life wanted someone this viscerally; so much he can feel the ache of it in his teeth.

It's the last day before the campaign for Will, and Steve is fucking sad. He thinks maybe Eddie is too. He's at least quieter than normal, explanations not at their usual fever pitch. An hour before they usually call it quits, he claps his hands together (too gently, too unlike himself), says, "That's it, Harrington. You're not going to be more ready than this."

"Right," Steve says. Can't help his eyes from darting over Eddie's face, aching to know what he's thinking. "You'll be there tomorrow?"

Eddie bends his head over his notebooks. "Nah, I don't need to intrude."

"But--"

"It's okay, Stevie. I get that it's family only." He looks like he really means it, but his eyes are sad, don't shine like they should.

Steve doesn't know what to say to that, just nods, and then there's nothing else. They stare at each other for a few very long, quiet seconds, before Eddie says, "I'll see you around, Harrington."

"Right, yeah. You too." And he walks out of the drama room with the heaviest heart he thinks he's ever had.

---

Steve thinks he won't miss Eddie. That if he doesn't dwell on those hours spent with Eddie, learning dnd, that the missing will go away.

It doesn't.

Which is how he finds himself back at the high school on Wednesday, standing in front of the drama room door, willing himself to go inside. Eddie's on the throne, the typical notebooks and binders and Mt. Dew cans clustered around him, but he's not engrossed in imagining up a new campaign for Hellfire. No, his head is in his hands, knees drawn up to his chest.

"Eddie?" Steve asks.

His head pops up, and even in the low light, Steve notices the silvery tracks of tears down his cheeks.

"Steve! What are you--" he hastily wipes at his face with his shirt sleeve. "What are you doing here?"

Steve's acting only on instinct, crossing the room and dropping to his knees, taking Eddie's jaw between his palms, thumbing away the wetness on his cheeks.

"Did someone hurt you?" he asks.

Eddie's laugh is wet. "Nah, Harrington. I only have myself to blame for this one."

"Can I do anything?"

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Sorry?"

"You, Steve Harrington, kind and compassionate? Learn dnd to make your little nerd friends happy? Who are you?"

"I'm just me, man," Steve blushes. "But, uh, I came to thank you." He's still holding Eddie's face in his hands, can't help but notice the way he flushes, how his dark eyes dart away from Steve's.

"I really liked hanging out with you," Steve says. This close to Eddie, his mind doesn't quite feel like his own. All he can think of is big eyes, soft curls, full lips.

"Yo--you did?"

"So much," Steve whispers. He doesn't quite remember moving, but now their foreheads are pressed together, warm breath mingling, lips almost, almost touching.

"I liked it too," Eddie breathes. After a few seconds, he laughs. "Knew I'd make a nerd out of you, Harrington."

"Shut-up," Steve laughs.

"Make me," Eddie says, and it's just that easy. Steve crosses the space still separating them, presses his mouth against Eddie's.

The kiss is slow, exploratory, the gentle discovery of how they fit together, the promise of all the things they can do in the future, all the pleasure they can bring.

"I'm not a nerd," Steve says when they part.

"No, you're right. You're like a nerd by marriage. Nerd-in-law," Eddie giggles. His eyes are bright, face pink, the most beautiful thing Steve has ever seen.

"Shut-up," Steve giggles right back.

Eddie raises an eyebrow, the dare obvious, and Steve doesn't hesitate to kiss him again.

"You wanna get out of here?" Steve asks when they part, significantly more breathless, jeans significantly tighter, than when he arrived.

"You're gonna have to role persuasion for that, Stevie," Eddie smirks.

[spdrvyn]

out and about: MIGUEL O'HARA

a short drabble about miguel making time to go on a shopping spree with you in a newly opened mall, however you can't help but feel a little shopper's guilt while he's there.

it's been a busy last couple of months to say the least, miguel hadn't been on a proper date with you for a while. you said that you were doing just fine, but he always had a sixth sense about this.

besides, while he was tending to his job of being a multiversal protector, he's neglected his other (and arguably more important) job. being a supportive and present boyfriend.

he forced himself to clear his calendar, turned on DND mode on all of his devices for once, and got into something that wasn't a skin tight nanotech suit. you'd been overjoyed to discover that miguel had stayed home today, moreso when he told you to get ready because he'd be taking you to the mall to buy a couple of things.

a couple of things was an understatement.

whenever you kept your eyes too long on a certain shop, miguel would usher you in to look around a little. if you so much as touched an item, miguel would already be at the cashier and buying it for you. it went on like that for the entire trip.

bag upon bag hung onto miguel's arms, yet he didn't even seem to struggle. it was attractive, but made you all the more guilty because what if he wasn't actually enjoying this? sure, he brought some items along with you, but what if those purchases were to just spare your feelings?

not to mention that the mall was practically colossal in size. if you said that you wanted to go home, miguel would be thinking that he'd done something wrong. that would be even worse. to add on, you haven't even checked if this place had a book store and miguel knows well that you can't leave a mall without taking a peak which would make him even more suspicious.

you also had to stop at a cafe every now and again to let your throbbing legs rest from walking around the whole time, miguel probably had more weighing on his back. you despised the fact that you were stealing his precious time, you couldn't begin to imagine what could be happening back at his workplace without him. would those people manage to survive? would the multiverse survive?

after visiting the last shop of the day, you were relieved to finally have an excuse to tell him that you were tired and wanted to go back home. miguel understood that, but your silence the whole car ride back was deafening. he thought for sure that this would mean a lot to you, the mall felt tailored to your interests, you'd bought a lot.

why weren't you happy?

what did he do wrong?

you insisted on helping him bring the bags back in, which he indulged you to. after setting them all back into the flat, it was already dark. miguel assisted you in unboxing everything you bought, which you did with a sullen look on your face. especially when you were done, looking over all the unwrapped items, how your pile was so much bigger than his. it could bring you to tears. and it did.

as miguel wrapped an arm around you, he felt it. the slight shiver in your shoulders, the muffled hiccup, and the glossiness on your eyes. worry settled in his features, he pulled you closer to him. "hey, hey. what's wrong? you don't like the stuff i—"

you burst into a fit of sobs, face going red and eyes puffed. you desperately tried to wipe away the tears that streamed down, as you whimpered. "i love it, miguel! i love it so much, but- it's just–"

god, he hated seeing you like this. not because you looked ugly crying or because he found it annoying but because of his incompetence. he had one fucking job, way simpler than whatever he did at work. to make you happy, to make you content, this wasn't what he wanted.

"don't cry, please. i'm sorry, lo siento, por favor. baby, if there is anything else i can do for you, i'll do it."

"that's the thing! you've already done so much for me today, you're so– so nice, too nice, that- that i don't know how to give it back."

your crying had eased a little, miguel's face had softened. he's been trying compensate for how little he's been giving you, that's all, but he didn't think about how you are. maybe he's been too nice recently, but you're too nice all the time.

"you don't have to give anythig i do back, mi vida," he sighed as he moved his hands to cup your cheeks, thumbs rubbing the fat of your cheek as your remaining tears smeared across the skin. "just you being here is enough, it's just that i've been— a little absent lately. i wanted to make it up to you."

"you didn't have to do that, miguel. just you being here is enough for me too." you sniffled. god, you were too adorable for him to take at times. he leaned in and pressed a small kiss to the bridge of your nose, to each of your cheeks, then moving down to press one quickly to your lips.

"let's just do that then," he murmured, "be with each other. s'all i need, all i want." and you agreed. wholeheartedly so.

dividers by across-the-art-verse

[infiniteanalemma]

Nobility in Baldur's Gate

Edited to add: I never expected my silly, niche post to get as much attention as it has! I'm giving you all forehead smooches! 😚💋 I've gone through to clean up some things up as I've found new information. I also added a list of nobility that I've found in game and other sources to the end of the post. Thanks, y'all! I'm glad I'm not the only one to wonder about this stuff. Good stuff in the reblogs, too!

Baldur's Gate has dug itself deep in my brain, so I apologize to my poor mutuals who didn't follow me for BG3 content getting this onslaught of posts. Please bear with me until my hyperfixation wears off. 🙏

Now, I'll admit up front that I'm no expert in DnD lore*, so if I get things wrong, please feel free to correct me or just add in stuff I may have missed. I'm going off of what I've found in-game and my Google Fu skills.

That said, I do know enough about DnD to remember that Baldur's Gate nobility are called patriars, and that there are only a relative handful of actual patriar families. I was thinking about my "canon" Tav, Velassa, and her background in BG3. She's a modified OC that I plunked in-game during Early Access, so I made her a noble. It was just part of her existing character that I didn't think too deeply about. It was only after I starting playing that it occurred to me to wonder what exactly "a noble" is to a native Baldurian.

That got me digging a little more into the current state of the Baldurian nobility as of BG3. I don't know who--if anyone--needs or wants this, but I put this together for myself and decided to share it for anyone else who might be interested. I realize that this is probably pretty niche and it's rambly and long af, so I'll put it under a cut.

So, for starters, here's a list of all the patriar families, including "fallen" houses that are barely hanging on: Belt, Bormul, Caldwell, Dlusker, Durinbold, Eltan, Eomane, Exeltis, Gist, Guthmere, Hhune, Hlath, Hullhollyn, Irlentree, Jannath, Jhasso, Linnacker, Miyar, Nurthammas, Oathoon, Oberon, Portyr, Provoss, Ravenshade, Rillyn, Sashenstar, Shattershield, Silvershield, Tillerturn, Vammas, Vannath, Vanthampur, and Whitburn

From what I've gathered, Exeltis, Provoss and Ravenshade are all more-or-less destitute. Also, the Szarr family (Cazador's family) were patriars, but were believed to be entirely wiped out. No living descendants makes them a dead house, rather literally. 😏 (No, I'm not sorry.)

Now, we learn that Wyll's father is Ulder Ravengard, the Grand Duke. This brings us to the first point: There are four Dukes, known as the Council of Four, and the Grand Duke's job is to be the tie-breaker.

Traditionally, one of the Dukes is also the highest ranked officer of the Flaming Fist--that's Ravengard, who was a Fist promoted up through the ranks. Wyll tells us that his father was born lower class, and quite a few of the patriars seem to scorn him for that. The other Dukes are Belynne Stelmane, Dillard Portyr (more on him later) and Thalamra Vanthampur (more on her later, too). Of the four, two are patriars: Portyr and Vanthampur. We don't know much about Stelmane's past, except that she was a brilliant businesswoman, politician and--as we find out later--member of the Knights of the Shield. Apparently, you can't buy your way into the patriars, but maybe you can buy your way into being a Duke.

Skipping ahead a bit, when the player shows up to Gortash's coronation, there are a group of mostly patriars sitting in the boxes leading up to the front of the room. I'm listing them by seating arrangement, with box 1 and 2 being the left and right closest to Gortash, and 3 and 4 being farthest. (I don't know what, if anything, the seating arrangements imply. The second box has eight people, compared to four for all the rest.)

Lady Ailis Belt, Baron Callem Bormul, Lord Rugger Shattershield**, and Lady Alia Durinbold**

Lady Ruth Linnacker, Lord Sarken Eomane, Lady Freida Oberon, Lord Raylen Jannath, Lord Myer Ravenshade**, Lady Madeline Whitburn, Lady Beatrice Provoss, and Duke Dillard Portyr

Lady Winstra Hullhollyn, Admiral Peil Hullhollyn, Lord Randolph Vammas, and Lady Eshvelt Guthmere

Lord Milon Tillerturn, Lady Silifrey Sashenstar, Lord Petric Amber**, and Lady Haeril Birch**

Here's some pictures of the nobles sitting together. (Sorry for the terrible quality! I slapped it together for my own reference. 🙈)

The characters marked by ** aren't human, which is interesting because the information I found said all the patriar familes are human except the Shattershields. Myer Ravenshade is listed as human if you examine him, but he has a dwarf model. That might be a mistake, but I'm including him anyway. Alia Durinbold, from a presumably human patriar family, is a wood elf. Again, this could be a mistake, but unless Larian winds up changing it, it could mean that interracial marriages that once may have been looked down on are now becoming more acceptable. Petric Amber is also a wood elf, and Haeril Birch is a high elf.

Those last two are interesting because they are the only ones in the boxes who aren't patriars. If not for them, I'd have assumed the coronation was simply a demonstration for the patriars alone. Their inclusion means this is something else.

Digging around, my conclusion is that all the listed people are members of the Parliament of Peers--a 50 person advisory party to the Council of Four. However, what I found says that it's pretty rare for all 50 to attend meetings, and the usual group is between 20-30. There are exactly 20 named individuals listed, plus a group of unnamed "patriars" standing at the front.

Here they are, for what it's worth:

One thing I noticed here is that most of those listed here are Lord/Lady, but there are three other titles: Duke, Baron and Admiral. I've already talked about the Dukes. Looking into the patriars, the Hullhollyn family are notable for having a fleet of ships, so it makes sense that one of them would be an Admiral. That leaves the Baron.

I couldn't find anything about what it means to be a baron in Baldur's Gate. Going on real-world peerages, a baron/ess is generally the lowest "rank" of nobility. Basically, it's someone who was an official landowner (usually of an "important" bit of land) under the feudal system. Well and good, I suppose, but presumably all the Lords and Ladies of the patriars own land within the city. This particular Baron is also a patriar, but given that one doesn't need to be a patriar to become a Duke (normally a higher peer than a baron), that may not mean anything.

(Apparently, the term "Duke" was originally meant somewhat jokingly. That said, it still carries the weight of a title even if not the conventional one.) We don't see any other titles between Duke and Baron, so what does that mean?

This isn't canon, but my assumption is that it means the Baron owns important land outside of the city. This would make sense for Baron Bormul, given that the Bormul family apparently have investments in silver mines and vineyards. Assuming they own the mines/vineyards, that may make those lands "important" enough to the city for their owner to earn a title. Alternately, the Bormul family also has counterparts in Amn, so maybe baron is an Amnian title that got passed along. That's getting a bit far afield for me, though. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway, among the group at the coronation, pretty much everyone supports Gortash becoming Archduke, with the exception of Lady Sashenstar (an old woman who really isn't too impressed with this commoner) and Duke Portyr, who expresses some hesitation at the whole thing.

Duke Portyr is interesting here. Except for Ravengard (who is thralled and conducting the ceremony), Portyr is the only Duke present. Now, Stelmane is already dead, so that explains her absence. Vanthampur is also missing, which is interesting. Portyr first, though: he was Grand Duke before Ravengard. He's the one who re-instituted (Edited: and originally created!) the Parliament of Peers to make the day-to-day decisions of running the city, and ceded the title of Grand Duke to Ravengard. He's described as being conflict-averse, so it makes sense that he'd go along with Gortash's coronation, even though he's clearly unhappy about it. Also, the current leader of the Fists is also a Portyr, likely still Liara Portyr, the Duke's niece and Ravengard's second-in-command.

Thalamra Vanthampur is an interesting character, too. She's the head of the Vanthampur family, and part of the Descent into Avernus story. Apparently, she's the one who got Ravengard to go to Elturel before it sank to the Hells, intending to take his place as Grand Duke. From what I read, she also conspired with the Dead Three's cults to murder people in a bid to discredit the Flaming Fist. (The murdery bits were undoubtedly left to Bhaal's cult.) We never do find out anything about Thalamra Vanthampur in this game (I assume that's probably cut content). (Edited: She is mentioned in one of the in-game texts as having been killed, which was one of the possible outcomes of Descent into Avernus. Larian chose that as their canon, just like the fate of Elturel and Zariel.)

The only Vanthampur we do meet is Carnelia Vanthampur, who is in the Guildhall and describes herself as "a peer of the Parliament". She's willing to work with either the Guild or the Zhentarim. Nervously of course. Also interesting is that, on the Bloodstained Parchment hit list, is a Varri Vanthampur, whose gravestone you can find in Candulhallow's Tombstones shop, reading: "Varri Vanthampur. Unwanted in life, welcomed in death."

Interesting, hm?

Also on that hit list is Fridrik Hhune. The Hhunes apparently have links to the Knights of the Shield, from what I looked up--the same group the Emperor led with Stelmane. The only Hhunes we meet in-game are Blaise and Gheris Hhune, two of the werewolves in Cazador's ballroom who are brothers according to the dev notes. With them is another werewolf of a different patriar family, Duver Rillyn. This suggests Cazador has been going after members of patriar families, which sort of fits with what we know about his plans. We really don't find anything else out about them except that they consider Cazador to be their master and Astarion says they're new.

We also can talk to a Flaming Fist who mentions that Hurlbut Hhune is the father of Henrietta Hhune, who used to be secretly engaged to the Fist in question, only for her father to decide to arrange her to marry fellow patriar Derque Rillyn, who the Fist describes as "a major arsehole."

That conversation is interesting for a few reasons. For one, it tells you that arranged marriages within the patriar are a thing. Also, this Fist is a Manip (essentially a Sergeant) who can't ask the other Fists for help because "the Fists don't mess with wealthy patriars, they've got the Watch to back them up." That's aligned with what Devella can also tell you: "There are patriars on the murder target list. I'm oathbound to secure them first, so I'll be heading to the Upper City next." If you say that the Fist should protect everyone: "Not from around here, are you? We're in Baldur's Gate - this is just how things work."

This brings me back to my original issue: what is a Baldurian noble? The patriars are canonically nobles, of course, and they're undoubtedly seen as the "most important" of the nobility. From there, it's not much of a stretch to say that anyone who has earned the title of Duke is now a noble, even if they aren't patriars. I'd go so far as to say anyone on the Parliament of Peers (and their family by association) is a noble^, given that non-patriars Petric Amber and Haeril Birch are considered Lord and Lady. The information I found about that is that there are approximately twelve non-patriar members. If Amber and Birch are two of them, that leaves another unnamed 10.

^Edited: Looking at the dates, I realized that the Parliament of Peers is a very recent change to Baldurian governance. Duke Portyr originally created it after the three other Dukes on the Council of Four were assassinated. It was clearly meant as a temporary measure, but my guess is that the patriars liked having more official say. Not to mention the non-patriars who managed to get a seat. This has all happened within even the youngest of Tav/Urges' lifetimes.

Personally, I'd also assume that branch families of the patriars probably also count as nobility. By branch family, I mean those that marry out of the main line but whose ancestry stems from a patriar family. From what I've seen by naming conventions, Baldur's Gate seems to use patronmyic lineage--ancestry is generally passed to the sons, and wives take their husband's surname. So, if a daughter marries out of the family, she'd no longer be a part of her father's family lineage, but still would be considered nobility. These branch families likely still maintain powerful influence and connections from marrying into wealth, which would make them a good political/financial choice of marriage alliance, despite no longer having the main branch patriar family name. These families are also probably the ones most likely to find a place on the Parliament, too, but likely have to jockey for position if their "representative" dies (or otherwise leaves) and a new opening in the Parliament is created.

If you've read this far, as a treat you can have some crappy close-up portraits of the nobles at Gortash's coronation, grouped together in their respective boxes. 😚

* For what it's worth, I'd count myself as a casual DnD player. I have some knowledge of DnD--I've played BG1 and 2, Planescape: Torment, along with some general cultural osmosis. I've had friends who played the tabletop version, but for one reason or another, I've never played it myself.

[gayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

Remember the cursed child kids are gen Z so here are some cursed child kids as things me and my friends have said.

James: This is DND so anyone can be anything

Albus: and you chose to be a WHORE?!

-

Albus: She's so mean to you! But if I punch her in the face ID be wrong

Scorpius: Unfortunately because she's a special Ed kid.

Rose: yeah but Scorpius your also special -

Scorpius: ROSE-

-

Scorpius: I just don't understand those restaurants with food that looks like one thing and tastes like another. Like???? I want to know what I'm eating before I eat.

Albus: Scorpius you have Autism.

Scorpius: >:(

-

Albus: I don't want to try lobster they look too red. Like okay you crayon.

Scorpius: In the wild lobsters are actually Brown! And sometimes blue.

Albus: Nuh uh

Scorpius: What are you talking about where are you getting for facts from?

Albus: From a pineapple under the sea...

Scorpius: How many times do I have to tell you the silly sponge show is NOT the end all be all for sea life factoids.

Albus: Then why is it RED lobster. Mr. smarty pants?

Scorpius: Because lobsters look red after they are cooked.

Albus: are you implying Larry is dead?!

Scorpius: I'm sorry you found out this way...

[missygoesmeow]

missy's tips for honour mode :) (it's very long I'm sorry) (oh and here be many spoilers) (but pictures too!)

please note I am not a pro gamer or anything. I sucked so bad when I first started this game (I had no idea wtf I was doing). Like seriously. I didn't know what an action was. what a bonus action was. "No movement left". WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO MOVEMENT LEFT. I had played DnD once before.

I literally bought this game because of Astarion.

I usually play one game and that is Overwatch. the only other time I stopped playing OW was to play Resident Evil: Village because of Lady D. vampire marketing works on me. specifically evil vampire. damn u Neil and Maggie.

if you have any questions about a specific boss or something feel free to ask! I didn't fight everyone though - like I did not do House of Grief because I didn't need to and also it's hard :)

I think a lot of it just came on down to...

ANYWAY. letsa go! this is very rambling!

Like I said in my reply to anon, the best tip is to do tactician FIRST. You’ll get destroyed otherwise. I didn’t finish my tactician run but I did get to act 3 and I did most boss fights (Gortash, Raphael, Cazador). Bosses have legendary actions in tactician and it’s fucking annoying. All the homies hate radiant retort….

Another tip is fucking collect everything. It’s hard to get gold and certain potion ingredients later on. Potion of Speed (you need hyena ears for this) is the BEST. I used them for my Ketheric fight (second phase) and killed him in three turns. I also used them for the final fight and used one or two with Raphael and Orin.

Smokepowder Barrels. I think people call this Barrelmancy? I didn't use them much. I hoarded them for one reason and one reason only.

To blow Raphael.

His soul pillar towers that is. To blow up his pillars. His big long pillars.

Okay I'm done.

(also I did use three in my last fight against the brain - popped them next to it and blew 'em up) Elixir of Bloodlust - sooooo handy with Astarion!

Invisibility Potion is a must - I used this to escape fights when three people were deaded (this happened a few times😅) and get my good friend Withers to bring them back.

bonus tip: don't go into a fight with half your spell slots because you think "she'll be right". she won't be...as seen above

HOLY FUCK WITHERS. You can pickpocket Withers. I used Astarion to get our money back anytime I resurrected, changed class or got a hireling - he doesn’t care if you fail either, just keep trying.

DON'T BE DUMB LIKE MISSY Don't be like me, don't half pay attention in cut scenes and accidentally press the wrong dialogue option. Or else your good friend Lae'zel will turn on you and you will have A Bad Time.

Gale has a stressful day💗

The githyanki are scary and actually now that I think about it, those were usually the fights I had to run away from like a leetle biatch.

Halsin has a stressful day 💗

I forgot that Psionic Backlash is like a thing that does damage and that if your entire worm filled party does it and the person you are casting is at like...say 19 health...they will die because that is not Passive Damage.

And then Jaheira will leave because you murdered her friend.

Oopsie.

(I lost Shart, Lae'Zel and Jaheira in this run) GENERAL STUFF

Always surprise the enemy if you can, it’s a massive advantage!

Get the eye from Volo. This run was not about looking pretty, it was about getting any advantage I could get. Let that man poke out your eyeball. And make sure it’s your Tav, you will mostly likely swap companions and it’s just better if it’s you. It's helpful in a lot of fights but especially Auntie Ethel

Become half illithid. I did this with my Tav, Gale and Minthara. Astarion was a little bitch about it so I didn’t give it to him but I wish I had made him do it.

She looks Not Great but she can fly (sorry Astarion but Z'hera only likes pussy)

Being able to fly is just SO helpful and cull the weak is OP! Also mmmmm worms :)

MY BUILD/PARTY

A Giant Woman (my tiefling) as a Paladin - Oath of Vengeance.

I broke my oath when I ascended Astarion but you can just get it back. Oathbreaker is still good (that’s what I was in my tactician run) but I wanted my channel divinity charges. I started with the Everburn Blade from the cambion Commander Zhalk on the Nautaloid (when you get Shart, give her the Command Spell and use “Drop” so you can just yoink it off him and save a fight). My final weapon was the Nyrulna which you can get in Act 3 at the Circus. To get this you must pickpocket the genie to take his ring and then play his game. He will accuse you of cheating and send you somewher. The prize at the end is this weapon. I love it. I just went invisible and walked through, I didn’t fight the creatures there.

Astarion - the classic gloomstalker/assasin. I had one level assasin and then did 6 levels ranger before going back to assassin. So he was 6 levels in each. With him ascended, he does INSANE damage. I never swap out that vamp, he’s too useful.

Shart/Minthara - I lost Shart in the Shadowfell - wouldn't let her murder Dame Aylin.

a simpler time. before I killed my beloved and my brain was full of worms.

I had to fight her (it was very sad). I changed her class to Life of Domain Cleric. I then made Minthara my cleric when Shart died (same build). She replaced my lover and my cleric <3

i love my new evil girlfriend

Gale - Evocation Wizard so I didn’t change him at all!

he's so hopeful. and Z'hera is very gay.

TIPS FOR POTIONS

If it’s throwable (like invisibility) group the gang together to throw one on the ground to get you all - saves using multiple.

Potion of Speed has an effect called lethargic that is active for one round after the potion ends. This means you miss a turn. HOWEVER! If you drink another one on the last active round of the potion, your Tav will become lethargic immediately and next round you’ll be fine :) I did this for the Ketheric fight.

It’s also helpful (because of lethargic) to not have all characters take the potion in the same round (if you give it to everyone). I never did, I usually gave them to Gale and my Tav.

I hoarded so many scrolls. I had so many dimension door scrolls at the end.

I did get the Necromancy of Thay and did all the things. And then I never used it :)

BIGGEST TIP ONCE YOU'VE UNLOCKING LEVEL 6 SPELL SLOT WITH CLERIC (ALSO AVAILABLE WITH DRUID)

I saw this on reddit! Pretty much what I did was get a hireling - Cleric - and have that Cleric cast Heroes' Feast on my party.

The affected entity is immune to Diseases, Poisons, and being Frightened, it makes all Wisdom Saving throws with Advantage, and its maximum Hit Points are increased by 12

Lasts until long rest!! I also then cast Freedom of Movement on everyone in the party. I then cast Warding Bond on someone - usually Gale because he's a squishy boy :) If I knew it was a BIG FIGHT! I got another Cleric to cast Warding Bond on another party member.

you can see Heroes' Feast (the condition is called Thoroughly Stuffed) and Freedom of Movement. These all last until long rest!

Pretty much any other companions were respeced as Cleric (though I made Jaheira a Wizard same as Gale so I could use her). I did this so that I could use Divine Intervention multiple times within the game!

I used Opulent Revival and nothing else

KEEP IN MIND.

anything can kill you in honour mode. even an elevator.

it crushed me. somehow.

thanks Larian

(if you want proper guides definitely go to Reddit!)

[howtobecomeadragon]

Everyone likes presents. The show does focus a lot on them and I'm trying to figure out if there's a bigger meaning here. I don't think there's any new info here to uncover, but thought presents was a good focus for an analysis 🤷

Will absolutely loves presents, to the point of asking Jonathon, with no hesitation, if he can open JONATHAN'S present from his crush (I'll give Will a pass, he just survived the Upside Down but this is hilarious behavior on Will's part). At home, he's shaking presents before Christmas, he's guessing what the presents are. He's very very very into presents at the end of s1. Unfortunately I don't think we see him get another present yet (YET) so far in the show. With all of the s4 March 22nd drama about Will's birthday, it almost looked like the birthday boy didn't get any presents, but supposedly the Duffer Brothers forgot.

Next we see Mike's absolute bafoonery in s3, trying to get El an "I'm sorry" present for lying. It's the thought that counts, right? Not really when Lucas is doing all the thinking here. Will in that third picture is me giving Mike the side eye in this season. Will knows what a good present is and he knows that this isn't the right attitude to have going into shopping for a present.

He tells El he was trying to get her a present but has nothing to show for it. Big swing and a miss. "We couldn't find anything that suited you." We see the boys looking at a jewelry store, where Mike finds the $300 teddy bear pin, perfume, and lingerie. This is classic "I don't know anything about my girlfriend, let me just look for a present that any boy could get any girl" behavior. After seeing each other every single day for 6 months (according to Hopper) Mike doesn't have much of anything to show for it. He only had $3.50, which equals about $9.64 according to an inflation calculator. Not a lot, but enough to get something. El's favorite snack, a cute hair tie, a cheap bracelet, a comic, a toy, just something. Or he could've made something homemade, but it was shown very clearly that he wasn't going to put time or thought into that, when he can hardly admit he did anything wrong. In my opinion, he would've been better off not even telling her about his failed attempt to get her something, it's just more disappointment piled on. He's not thinking about her feelings though, he just wants credit for putting the work in (*cough even though Lucas was the one that did all the work cough*).

At the end of s3, we get the iconic "I like presents" scene. I've seen a lot of analysis about how Mike felt more comfortable talking about liking something childish, opening presents, because he just reconnected with Will about wanting to play DnD, but then doesn't feel comfortable being himself about liking these things he considers childish around El. But focusing more on the idea of presents here and the text of what was said: Mike likes presents, but El has never given him a present. El likes presents, but Mike failed at getting her a present. Maybe Mike is thinking about how much he likes playing with his toys on Christmas and how if he's with El on Christmas, he might be too ashamed to enjoy them. Just last season, just 8 months ago, Mike was so hesitant to throw away toys at his parents' request. And in s1, he showed El his toys and she walked away from him. He won't enjoy his presents if they spend Christmas together.

In s4, we see Mike bring El an actual present this time! However, he brings her Hawkins flowers right after he read in her letter that she doesn't even miss Hawkins flowers anymore. So the flowers aren't on the mark and the note definitely isn't. Again, he probably would've been better off not bothering, the present brought more pain than getting off the plane empty handed would have. He's showing that he doesn't understand her enough to get the right present, to the point of ignoring/missing what she's saying to him in her letters.

And of course later on, we see that every letter Mike wrote El, each one a present in a way, was really a knife to the heart with every "from, Mike" and then later we see yellow Hawkins flowers wilted and dead. Mike's presents to El bring pain and disappointment.

We know that Mike loves the presents he gets from Will: drawings and the painting. Mike likes presents, we know this from the s3 finale, and he also loves Will's art. He keeps those presents and has for years. He displays the presents in his basement and bedroom, years after he gets them. Contrasted with El's letters, which are presents in a way, not being seen anywhere in the house.

But when he thinks that the painting, the present, is from El, he's not as pleased. I think that's the only physical present "El" ever got for Mike other than her letters, and for a guy that likes presents, he's not pleased to think this one is from his girlfriend. So in a way, when Mike thinks he gets a present from El, he's disappointed and confused.

El and Mike both say that they like presents, but their presents to each other are never the right gift, never evoke the intended emotion, and are never given with good intentions or thought put into them.

A colossal bummer is, of course, the fact that Will hasn't gotten a present from Mike on screen, as far as I remember. We don't know if a present from Mike to Will would be as awful as his presents to El, but all evidence points to the fact that it wouldn't.

Basically, I want to put Mike in a mall with $3.50 and see what he would walk out with for Will.

[omega-floweys]

Guess what, motherfucker? It’s me. Alador. Aka, the best person at asking super useless questions.

1: Can V or anyone else play any instruments, if so, what kinds?

2: I can’t remember if I’ve asked this or not, but what are their favorite music genres?

3: What’s their opinions on cheese? Can they eat cheese?

4: What’s their dream jobs?

5: Is 5 too many questions? … Nah… Does V sleep?

6: I noticed Fancy looks pretty fluffy. How soft is he? Fancy’s a he, right? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

7: Opinions on Rob Zombie? Random, I know, but he’s neato.

8: Favorite colors? Because of course I had to be that bitch-

9: Do any of them like or play DND?? Who’d be the DM?

10: Last question! I have a feeling that V’s eyes glow in the dark… Do his petals?

Sorry if that’s too many, lol😅

~Your pal, Alador, The Idiot In A Suit.

Finally got the time to answer this. You are a lifesaver.

Lots of text below:

1. I would imagine V can play a few instruments, yes! Namely the piano but definitely a good few. You dabble a little in everything if you've been around as long as he has.

Not a traditional instrument, but Roko can play notes and sing if given access to TTS software.

2. You have indeed asked this before so I will not be answering as I don't feel like finding the post

3. V doesn't care all that much about cheese. Fancy is probably a cheese guy. Guy is also a cheese guy. APOLLO is not. Pinky likes it.

4. This one's a really good one actually.

Fancy's dream job was anything low effort that pays well.

Guy would've liked to be an artist that lives off Patreon money.

Pinky would have liked to be a vet.

APOLLO wanted to work in IT.

Roko does not have aspirations.

And V has already experienced his dream "job."

5. He does, rarely. It isn't something he needs to so he prefers not to do it.

6. He's pretty soft! I'd imagine they have a pretty thick coat. [You are correct by the way, Fancy uses he/they.]

7. I do not know anything about Rob Zombie so neither do they.

8. I don't feel like answering the colours question right now SORRY!

9. I don't think any of them have played D&D before, but I feel Roko would DM until they all realise he is making uncomfortably real simulations of their D&D worlds. APOLLO might try after Roko is removed from the position but it would piss everyone off with how strictly it would adhere to rules.

10. His eyes do glow, yeah! His petals don't normally, but he could make them glow if he wanted.

[skxllz]

But Eddie with a gf who has stretch marks on her legs and stomach?

How woud he react to her being shy and insecure about them and not wanting to show Eddie her body bc she's embarrassed (•////•)

- 🌚 anon

I'm so sorry I took so long to reply to this :'') every time I typed something out, my brain would freeze. I finally managed to write something- hopefully it isn't too bad 💔 (is it in headcanon formation? yes. I was too lazy to actually write an imagine ^^" )

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sweetheart, seriously? you'd really think this man would give one damn about those itty bitty vines, that only defined the beautiful blossoming of your body as a whole? for real? well, let me save you a whole poetry slam of a complete stanza; he doesn't - never will.

wearing long sleeved shirts, or just baggier t-shirts to hide away the stretched tissue of your skin easier, should've been a dead giveaway from the beginning. though, seeing as how you and eddie were friends beforehand and he knew of your taste in clothing, which quite frankly was a variety of multiple interests, he knew you were one to wear clothing items that most-of-the-time swallowed your upper frame. if he saw you in sweats, it clearly was a lazy day or the time of your monthly visit from the fucking devil. if you wore baggy jeans - well, it just meant you were feeling more free or just wanted to be comfortable. so, all in all, the boy was oblivious to your insecurities. when you two began dating, he noticed the increase of bigger sweaters, bungy hoodies and shirts a size or two, too big... but it was more of a thing that flew to the back of his mind; he brushed it off because he was so used to seeing you dress your way. but a few months later, he caught on - finally.

you would avoid swimming during gym class, when spring would roll around. usually, you'd make up an excuse - your period, or some complete bullshit like ‘ sorry, my irritable bowl syndrome is acting up! ’. is it embarrassing? totally, but since it makes the teacher uncomfortable, they don't question it and send you right to the nurse. a habit of pulling the short-sleeves of your shirt down if they get bunched up too far had also become noticeable; eddie finding it cute at first, thinking maybe it's just a new nervous tick, but as time carried on it concerned him - you did it in general, sure, but you constantly did it in his presence. lastly, the avoidance of any flirting that ended up on the topic of nudity. with him showing his body? you either got really excited, or seriously flustered, but never bothered. however... whenever he even mentions sliding his hands up your shirt, let alone anything else, your face twists into an unreadable expression and you blow him away with some quick babble, before running off. this lead eddie to think maybe he was doing something wrong, perhaps overstepping boundaries or rushing you, simply because he can be oblivious, but after overhearing a conversation between you robin he finally clicked into his brain about what was wrong.

like any other thursday, he strolled down the corridor of the school that led to the club-based rooms in the back; a basement like, dingy smell filling the air the further he glided, ringed hand dragging along the wall. it was after school hours, approximately two after the last class had been dismissed - while his dnd gatherings were on fridays, your creative writing club took place on the second to last day of the school week, due to the fact that thursdays were more accurate for busy minds and because the day circled around old english itself. yeah, pretty odd. but, like always, he was on his way to pick you up; it was routine and always has been. just as his lazed, tired figure reached the oak wood door, hand reaching to the worn silver handle, he paused.

“ I just.. I don't know, robin. ” the brunette heard you mumble out to the blonde girl that was apart of you guys' outer friend group. she tended to sometimes stay after school with you, just so she can steer away from steve once in a while - he guess it was one of those days. silently, he'd place a hand to the door, only to cringe once his rings made the littlest clack of noise. you didn't seem to hear, however, so he focused on listening. “ I want to go further - it's not that I don't, and it's not like I don't trust eddie.. ” while you spoke, the slightest tremble could be heard; only seeming to appear more audible once you inhale. he could only imagine you running your hands through your hair nervously, like you always do. “ I'm just not.. I don't.. ” it was quiet for a moment, before robin spoke up; her voice soft, and oddly wobbly. “ you're still worried about how he'll think of you.. aren't you? ”. eddie looked through the small window within the door after that, only to you turned to her, nodding your head.

the conversation wasn't brought up after that. he acted like, to you at least, that he heard nothing - nada, zilch, not a word. but that didn't mean the words didn't play on repeat on his mind, in a loop, over and over. it began effecting his concentration during dnd matches, as well as making him zone out when a conversation took place. his mind would just drift, recalling the discussion until it'd drive him so far, that he'd rub his eyes in frustration and storm away to the confinements of his own presence. whether it be locked in the school bathroom, his own room or speed walking off to the quarry where he could clear his head. it was becoming a quick follow up of a frequent occurrence, so of course you confronted him one day at his locker.

a hand pushed into the door of the open locker, only to slam it shut with a loud squeak and click. eddie's eyes widened in alarm, but when he turned to the source, he only spotted you; frown pulling deeply at your lips and brows knitted so close together, he'd swear the edges of them would mound together into one. “ you.. okay? ” he'd question slowly, head dipping rhe slightest bit while doe eyes dramatically widened. although your boyfriend was known for being extra, you had none of it; skipping right to the blunt question on the tip of your tongue. “ why have you been acting weird? and don't say you haven't.. because your friends, our friends, will be right behind me to back me up. so tell me, eddie, what's going on? ”

eddie was hesitant to tell you, to voice that he actually eavesdropped on an important and personal topic, but with the predicament he was facing.. he had no choice but. obviously, he wanted until you two were in the contents of his trailer, but even after he dropped the bomb, he didn't expect you to... go so quiet. maybe you scolding him and chewing his ear off, maybe even a bit of a screaming match, but for you to fall to the expectations of a quiet mouse? it spooked him.

with a lowered head, you explained to him what actually went on in your head. the best you could, at least. you didn't go into too much detail about what all you were insecure about, but you did dig deep on some past events, and explained the marks on your body were not something you were proud of. it was nothing to be ashamed of, stretch marks were natural, but you just thought they didn't fit your form. models could wear them with no effort, movies stars could rock them all the way to their grave, but you? you were just a girl with a small group of friends, and very little school mates that talked to you. you were never really flashy with clothes, except the few skirts you wore for certain outings or occurrences. flaunting your skin was just not common for you, and it wasn't like you did it with someone special before... so, having a boyfriend, who one day you were bound to have sex with? It left a bad taste in your mouth from fear.

god.. but eddie? his heart literally shattered at the confession. seeing tears build up in the corners of your eyes made his chest ache in ways he didn't know was possible. to make matters even worse, when you tried to look at him, you instantly had to squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head away; too far into the pit that opened up, to where you were on the verge of crying. when a small hiccup left past your lips, is when the metalhead finally dove forward and scooped you into his arms.

eddie munson, vowed to the oath by his very uncle, that he'd always treat people with respect unless deemed otherwise. he'd treat his partner like royalty, he wouldn't dare judge them for the flaws they couldn't control or simply needed help with. even grimacing at something so natural that was meant to be presented on the human body, would leave him with the dignity of a fucking sewer rat. he knew you didn't see him as a horrible person, and that it was actually just a bad clouding of thoughts in your head, which is why he decided to show you how much he cared.

soft pets to your head would be given, while gentle presses of his lips would be melted into your hair. he'd constantly whisper windy praises, so supple and sweet into your ear. since he didn't want to spook you, he'd wait it out patiently; watch as you calm down, your face slacking into a serene state that told him he'd succeeded in making you feel at least a little okay. that'd make him carry on with laying you down alongside him, him caressing the back of his folded knuckle down the alignment of your face and across hour cheek. gentle kisses placed to each feature; cheeks, nose, forehead, chin, the corners of your mouth that'd slowly turn upwards. and, as he gazes into your eyes with a happy grin, he'd kiss your lips fully.

an inhale deep through his nose, while the hand that'd been constantly busy with your face, dragged down your shoulder onto to later on dip across your hip. soft caresses, breezy touches and squeezes. your shirt would be lifted, him of course asking permission beforehand. he'd lead butterfly kisses down your face, across the lining of your jaw, over your throat's column and peppered over your collarbones. a slow drag of his touch down your chest, before pulling up to bunch your shirt up more. his eyes, upon landing on the beautified lines across your stomach, and hips, lite up; taking in your middle half with a breathless laugh of glee. he'd be overjoyed you'd finally let him see you.. this part of you. before you could even doubt him, or yourself, he's swooping down to kiss at your skin; playful nips given in between.

you'd never think it'd actually be such a joy to let your boyfriend see you so vulnerable, cheeks even sticky with old tear stains, but jeez - were you wrong. with the way he practically worshipped you, it had your heart thumping in unrhythmic bumps; not keeping a steady tune since your heart strings were being tugged on. in a good way. when eddie began dragging his teeth over your stomach, looking up to your as a smirk grew on his open lips, a gasping laugh left you and you instantly tried to curl up and away from him. It tickled and he fucking knew it, which is why he held your down; one hand firmly on your hip, pressing it into the old couch you laid across, while he other hand curled around the upper flesh of your thigh. he laughed along with you, not even taking a moment to stop at his affectionate attack.

the night carried on like that, all playfulness and laughter and eddie showing you he isn't afraid of breaking society's standards, once again. he loves you, deeply, and would give you the actual world if he could. of course, he didn't know by helping you face your insecurities instead of getting upset with you... that he already did give you the world.

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hi, I did not proof read over this. I'm sorry if there are errors or that my brain got jumbled at one point and things don't make sense. um.. hopefully this is enjoyable anyways :''')

[aydaaaguefort]

Hi! I have a question for you and I'm wondering if you could help. First of all, I love all your little DND clips they are so fun to watch! (You caption well haha :D)

I've tried clipping a few scenes myself (mainly to send to my friend to convince her to watch d20) but for some reason my screen recorder doesn't capture the audio. It works fine on everything else, so I'm wondering if dropout has a feature to keep you from recording or if I'm just doing something wrong. I couldn't find anything about it online. Do you have any experience with that, or alternatively, how do you record d20?

If you don't know or don't feel up to answering or if this was rude (sorry!) then don't worry about answering it's not urgent! No pressure!

Thank you either way :D

you’re not rude at all! and i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer, I honestly don’t check my inbox on this blog often enough 😅

very occasionally (like twice, ever) I’ve had issues with tumblr not uploading the videos with sound for some reason? but the videos themselves are fine, it’s only an issue with tumblr’s uploading of them. other than that I’ve had no issues with sound at all.

I don’t know what you’re using, but I honestly just use the screen recording function on my phone and have never had any issues with it. I have an iphone (I know apple sucks ass, but it’s what connects to my family’s devices and stuff) and if you do too, the screen recording should be built right into it, unless your ios hasn’t updated in years.

Dropout is actually one of the few streaming services that doesn’t block my screenshotting/recording, so I’m really not sure what your issue is. I wish I could be more help!

PS. all the credit for the captioning goes to dropout themselves! I just turn them on and record what’s already on screen, so I don’t actually do any of the work myself lol

[poisonedprose]

₊˚✧ just once

byler angst

warnings: established relationship, cursing, mentions of cheating, crying

masterlist

The party was gathered in Mike's basement. They weren't doing anything in particular, just listening to music while everyone did their own thing. Mike was reading some sort of comic book, Will was drawing, Max and El were gossiping, and Lucas and Dustin were coming up with ideas for a new dnd campaign.

Although they weren't all doing the same thing, they enjoyed nights like these. Well, except for Will. He perfered when they did something together, wether it was watching a movie or even just talking into the late hours of the night.

He sighed as he crumpled up his drawing in annoyance. "I told you to stop doing that." Mike spoke quietly without looking up from his comic book. Will looked up at Mike, who was laying on the couch. "But I fucked it up." Will explained. "I'm sure it looks fine." Mike rebutted. Will ignored Mike and leaned his head agaisnt the table. Mike sighed but continued to read his comic book.

"We should watch a movie." Max said aloud, grabbing everyone's attention. "What movie?" Lucas asked. "We should watch a scary one!" El exclaimed. "Oh god, please no more scary movies. I'm still having nightmares from the last one!" Dusin pleaded causing everyone to laugh. "Romcom?" Max suggested. "I'd rather jump off a building." Mike protested.

The party began trying to settle on a movie, going back and forth about what genre the movie should be. "What do you think, Will? You've been super quiet." Max mentioned which caused Will to pick his head off the table. "Um, I was actually just gonna leave.. I have things to do tomorrow." Will muttered a quick apology and began collecting his things.

The party wished Will a goodnight and continued trying to pick a movie. Though, Mike knew something was wrong, so he excused himself and quickly went after Will.

"Will!" Miked called out. Will turned to face Mike who was quickly walking towards him. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned. "Nothing's wrong." It was clear Will was lying. "Come on, tell me what's wrong, baby." "I'm telling you, nothing's wrong." Will insisted.

Mike brought his hand up to Will's cheek and rubbed his cheek gently. "You can talk to me, Will. I'm here for you." He smiled. "You want me to talk to you?" Will questioned and Mike nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll talk, I'll tell you what's wrong. I know. I know, Mike. I know you've been fooling around with her." Tears began to well up in Will's eyes. Mike's smile faded and he dropped his hand from Will's face.

Mike stayed silent, unsure of what to say. "You're not even going to deny it? Tell me that I've got it all wrong?" Will swallowed the tears back harshly. Still, Mike stayed silent. "Come on, tell me I'm wrong." Will pleaded, the tears finally falling out of his eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong, Mike." Will begged causing tears to form in Mike's eyes.

Will leaned his forehead agaisnt Mike's chest and sobbed. "When did you fall out of love with me?" Will choked out. "I..I didn't." Mike whispered. "It was once. Just once. I'm sorry." Mike's voice was laced with guilt. "Don't be. It's not your fault I can't be what you need." Will lifted his head and wiped his tears. "No, Will, you are more than what I need. I just... I made a stupid mistake. I don't even know why I did it. I've never even thought of Eleven like that. It was just a... bad moment." He stammered.

"What's done is done. I'll see you tomorrow, Mike." Will began to walk away. "Wait!" Mike exclaimed and Will turned to look at him. "What's going to happen now? What's going to happen to us?" He spoke barely above a whisper. "I don't know. We'll see." And with that, Will began walking again. Mike watched his boyfriend until eventually he faded away into the darkness of the night.

[boysdontcryboycry]

this post is pretty metaphorical and almost entirely nonsensical. sorry

thinking again about dustin's s2 mindflayer analogy falling apart when hopper asked how to kill it. thinking about how will the wise is a wizard but mike (who is pretty much never wrong about anything) (except for calling el a mage when mages are npcs and she doesn't even really have mage powers she's much closer to a wizard leaping between schools of magic but also manifestationgate 👁👁? cuz this sure descibes her before she broke out of the lab

) called will their cleric. how vecna's curse is literally necromancy in the form of draining a person's life force and how henry should have died from the radiation burns he got traveling between dimensions or disintegrated like jason was by the gate opening in the creel house but didn't because he just necromanced like thirty people. and how the mindflayer isn't actually a mind flayer but a tool and the physical representation of the hivemind that henry is the brain of as the actual dnd mind flayer and so henry is a paradox in that he is both the mind flayer and the undead (lich? zombie? both? who knows!) that can resist the mind flayer's thrall oops i started reading about thralls and having revelations

billy was DEFINITELY a thrall, and will was well on his way before being blasted out of it by the power of love and seventy space heaters. i think the shadow is like a physical representation of the thrall and plugs you into the telepathic network and is also possible to expell Like A Demon so they could do a quasi-thrall that was reversible?

the rest of the flayed in season 3 i think were somewhere between ceremorphs and (reverse?) oblexes? possibly because ceremorphs henry wasn't really looking to make more mind flayers and ceremorphs ? he was just looking to kill? the hive mind. let me be coherent in a different paragraph (although i will say oblexes were introduced just over a year before season 3 came out as the creation of a make-a-wish kid and thus the similarities might've been a happy coincidence)

ceremorphs. illithid tadpoles injected into beings to eat their brains and take over their bodies and either become mind flayers themselves or become some other ceremorphized being that either was a subset of the hivemind to boost psionic ability or to find new victims to become food/members or other stuff idk etc, or in special cases becoming a being powerful enough to split from the control of the elder brain and start their own colony. the flayed in s3 get their faces sucked by tentacles a lot like will in s1, when the tadpoles were first deposited. they certainly look like corpses whose brains are currently being devoured from the inside.

anyway i don't think henry was particularly looking to make more mind flayers at this time partially from his fixation on el and will and also thinking pretty much the entire planet isn't worth it and they don't deserve the power and are better off as food and then as a biomass in his meatflayer that we still don't really know the end goal for? and so their orders were to munch the brains and then destroy the host body! yummy chemicals! the meatflayer ALSO could've been his attempt at literally physically creating his own elder brain. tadpoles plus nutrients plus hivemind shadow particles plus biomass? all the makings of a big ole brain ready to stew in some brine in a deep dark cave with lots of tunnels oh yeah that's why they were digging the tunnels

also btw besides ceremorphs a super rare tadpole will birth a super powerful mind flayer whose job it is to split the colony and move somewhere else and to become a new elder brain :)

and so im gonna black out cuz i can make absolutely anything about rosegate and the mind flayer "deities" ilsensine and maanzecorian just SCREAM rosemary and dick wheeler respectively, bro just trust me (go read their wikis), even dick's glaring abscence from the narrative as maanzecorian "died" and yet survived and his principles still being followed also .

mike wheeler knowing things he absolutely shouldn't check.

so like im convinced there is a (metaphorical?) elder brain underneath the creel house that tadpoled henry on move-in day (running from the bathroom?) and he became a ulitharid and is now splitting off to form his own colony with an elder brain under the library that may or may not be a brainstealer dragon. this bitch tadpoled tiamat

also if time travel is your thing Illithids Are Your Bitches

i completely lost the plot of this post

[thedumestflower]

Boyfreinds webcomic criticism/rant

TLDR; boyfriends webtoon is lame and mid because its kinda icky and the writing sucks

Okay so yall hae heard about the boyfriends webtoon comic, and imma talk about why i personally dislike it

(DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO HATE TO THIS WEBCOMIC OF ITS FANS, IF YOU LIKE IT , THAT VALID, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT, THATS ALSO VALID)

okay so the first main reason to why i dont like this webcomic is that, its well... icky,, niot exactly cringe (i mean yeah it is a little bit "cringe" but i think it just aged poorly, with it being made in early 2020) , but just, a little gross to me. Like the whole thing where the character nerd acts innocent but is actually a pervert, also the fact that hes 19 with the others are like, 20 and older, idk man just feels kind gross. also the fact that the charater goth keeps getting s3xualized even though hes asexual, with things like suggestive scenes to an actual fucking nsfw comic with him and nerd with, holy shit dude, the creator has stated hes a huge flirt but dosent like the s3x, but like, bro??????thats kinda gross to me to see a asexual character that keeps getting sexualized, and yeah asexual ppl can have the s3x but , it still rubs me the wrong way.

and the second reason i dont like this is because its fucking boring as sin to me. OK , ok , hear me out, webcomic being simply not my cup of tea isnt the only reason i think its mid, i also think the writing could be alot better, let me explain.

So the comic, the very beginning of the comic , it just starts out , literally with prep saying (im gonna be paraphrasing here for comedy but you get the pitcure) "omg im so over being single i want boyfren" and goth being like " haha, im gonna get boyfren befor you with my epic gamer rizz" and the nerd just fucking trips and falls, right infront of them, goth helps him up and they talk and make plans for shit. Now, notice how we get no fucking introduction? i mean, we get character cards for them but i think if you can do basic writing, and a simple, "oh im prep and im goth and we go 2 collage , and prep is singl and pathetic , but incredibly oblivious to goth crushing on him for like fuckn whatever years hes been doing this shit" ,like bro its that fucking simple, without setting up a basic background , we have no clue who these characters are and why we should care about them, we jut know that goth get bitches and prep doesn't(at the beginning of the series).

I also feel like more time should have been spent on the boys individual relationships BEFORE they become a official couple and not after , and to the comics credit, they kind do, but they fail to make me care because , again, no character introductions except for those character cards, witch don't really do much for the reader expect give us there name, age, and majors, witch also could have been told to us, along with more infromation about the character like, basic backstory and scene with a simple character introduction at the beginning.

Another problem within this problem is the characters themselves, you see, my problem is that they're stereotypes, witch, isn't bad, as long as its done well. But the creator doesn't do anything really interesting with them, no subversions of expectations , hell, its hard to even call them true to their original stereotypes, yeah prep is enough like a prep and sure i guess jock is enough like a jock, but goth isnt really even,, goth like, i mean character design wise, (im not a big fan of the gothy character stereotype where their just , edgey and shit) , i mean , if you go on Pinterest and type in "gothic aesthetic" you'd get somthing alot more like fancy suits and dresses and abandoned churches, not my immortal draco malfoy.(im sorry ill never make that joke ever again) . also the fact the nerd isnt even that much of a nerd, where the epic gamer shit, where the dnd handbooks, where the info dumping about your favorite obscure pieces of media? the most nerd shit that hes into is problem k-pop, or animal crossing, which, honestly to me, isnt really nerdy , . fucking hell, i mean jock isnt even a fucking himbo, like THE DUMB JOCK STERYOTYPE IS RIGHT FUCKING THERE THATS SUCH A MISSED OPPERTUNITY. So for me, either go big or go home

haha so yeah, thats why i dont like this webcomic, and my criticisms, if you agree with me, thats fine, if you dont agree with me and just want your silly brainrot pastel gays, thats also fine, i dont realy care if you like the webcomic or not.

But if you wish the boyfriends webcomic did something more interesting and cool with theyre characters and wish for a more "dramatic" story, with cool character designs and interesting and dynamics and also was made by someone who shouldn't really be making romance media and is not qualified to do this because they are aro ace but is really into shipping culture, well i do have an idea for a remake of it with all the things listed above, i might make a askblog for it teehee,

well thanks for reading and wasting your fuckn time on this earth

[luxshine]

As I try hard not to let the RRR rot invade my brain, let's go back to Stranger Things for a bit so that rot also invades my brain (yes, there are new ideas for fic there too. My muses hate me)

El should watch Invasion of the Body snatchers. Then she'd knew what is wrong. And I see that Max is a DC fan, and she loves the right character, because Wonder Woman is AMAZING!!!

I see that Nancy and Jonathan did the right thing and called 911. Not that 911 can do anything for Miss Driscoll as I am sure she's going to explode like her rats.

Oh, and I see that the Mind Flayer now looks like a mixture of the Thing and the Blob and the previously mentioned Body Snatchers. Cool. Now if the guys could get together to actually fight it, I want to see Steve cleave the thing (or Billy) with his bat.

His bat needs a name, by the way. Just like Lucille.

Damn. The contusion brought back idiot Hooper. Damn it.

I love Max and Max's room.

Steve has such a confidence in himself. I love him. And Dustin is right there to put him right back in where he should be. Robin is amazing too.

I still want Nancy to go postal at her job. Really, it would be the right way to quit.

GOOD! The kids can stop thinking with his hormones enough to care about the end of the world. Love them.

CARY ELWES AGAIN!!! It's always great to see him, even if he is being a horrible bastard, worst than Prince Humperdink. He does slimy majors very well. And Hooper looks amazing in the Miami Vice attire, even if he doesn't know it. Sheriff vs. Major mud fight! I love it.

OOh... I can see Hooper knows how to go Postal. He should give Nancy some lessons. Gotta wonder if he is fired. Because if he is? Oh, boy, that's some way to quit.

Jonathan and Nancy are a terrible, terrible couple. And Jonathan is just giving her the truth. Yes, the men were horrible and mysoginistic and yes, Jonathan knows more about poverty than that, but yeah, they were INTERNS. And if they break up? Good. Just stay away from Steve.

Meanwhile, the super spy group manages to find the way into the secret russian base without getting fired. Even if they can't fit Dustin there.

Lucas knows that his brother in law doesn't wear shirts. Poor him.

Will is in hell. But hey, Mike had a GOOD idea. That's good.

Lucas's sister is an annoying little brat. VERY Annoying little brat. But she's a good addition to the special anti-Russian Squad. Even if she is a brat. But she's a good negotiator for a brat!

Ah, Cary Elwes. I love him so much. Even if he's so evil. And once again, Joyce is the brains of the Adult Squad. In every squad, the brains is the girls. Teenage Squad used to have no brains, but now we have Robin so she has the brains and the guts.

Nancy has guts, yeah, but she's so lacking in the braincell department that I worry about all the Wheelers.

Holy shit! Mrs. Wheeler had a great moment of motherhood and adult advice. I would be checking for pods in the Wheelers' basement if it wasn't because I know the Mind Flayer is not into parenting advice.

Seeing the kids work again together. I am sorry that Will can't get his apology now, because he is right, he has more important things to worry about, but I am glad that El didn't go all angry at Hooper.

Erica is a brat. But I love her. Even if she's going to forget her unicorn bag and give away the squad. That is telegraphed for anyone who ever has seen a heist movie.

Poor Max. She loves Billy, god knows why, and this is hard for her.

Ok.Nancy has guts. No braincells, but guts. If she was in the DnD party, she could be our barbarian.

Steve and Dustin are brothers. I love it.

I swear, if Steve happens to have brought his bat that I Will name one day, I will love him even more.

I am trying hard not to feel bad for Billy. But the actor is making it hard. Damn it Stranger Things, for giving bullies redemption arcs. I don't want to feel bad for him. But he's making it hard.

El has gotten a lot more powerful. Someone get that girl to read X-men.

See kids, this is why you don't enable a red code plan without Steve and his trusty bat. Mike tried his best, but he is NO Steve and his trusty bat.

No, seriously, El needs to learn about Jean Grey.

Did they kill Billy? Oh, no. He's still up. So we need something harder than a brick wall.

Oh. We're going to need a bigger sauna to get all those people better.

Ok, Stranger things 3, you got my attention.

[sylviareviar]

✖ ✖ ✖ ✖ ✖

t-thank you... so much... i love talking with you about teddie and sylvia either being disasters or causing chaos together through sheer joy and positivity and it always makes me so happy thinking about them together.

To be honest, Sylvia's been in the works since I was like twelve. I had a lot of prototypes before then, but only settled on a design for Sylvia in middle school, and ever since then I was building her up as a character trying to flesh her out. She might be a self-insert, but she's also a deep analysis of myself as a person, how I react in certain situations, an exploration of my strengths and weaknesses (and traumas), and at the same time, a way to live vicariously in my favorite shows, series, books, anime, etc. all in one. Sometimes I give her extra powers, sometimes I indulge and make her over-powered, and I always worry if maybe I did a bit too much.

I guess up until coming onto Tumblr, the only people I could ever talk to about her were my siblings, and they quickly got sick of me constantly gushing about her, so I stopped and just assumed anything involving her was garbage, but I was too deep in and couldn't stop. I'm playing her in a DnD campaign right now, though, and my younger sibling said that she actually feels a lot fresher than she used to before, because she actually has flaws now. At the same time I think they're getting sick of her again ^^;

I was always hesitant to play Sylvia online, and honestly now that I got the courage to do so, people actually do like her. It's like a dream come true for me. I'm genuinely surprised people enjoy her character even though so far she feels like a useless damsel in distress...

I still feel anxious now. Sometimes, whenever she makes a mistake, it feels like I made that mistake too, or when she pushes a character away, I'm worried I might've hurt the mun's feelings. For both me and Sylvia, stumbling around blind is just the nature of being autistic, and being hyperempathetic makes us question everything we do, because what if it hurts the other person's feelings? Making mistakes and saying the wrong things because we don't always have the words to describe how we're feeling makes living ten times harder, so I really am sorry anytime we make a mistake or something. If you just explain to us how that makes you feel, we'll do our best to change our behavior accordingly.

If I make a bad or offensive joke, or if I get too comfortable saying the wrong things, I'd like that to be pointed out too. Even if my feelings get hurt, it's better to let me know so I don't hurt other people than to spare my feelings. I'd rather feel mortified at what I said than not know when I hurt someone.

[felawnie]

Top 5 D&D monsters?

Mmkay so since I still haven't looked anything I'm just gonna answer this. I'll admit, I reblogged the top 5 thing, not because I expected anyone to do it, but because I'd hoped a mutual would reblog it and then I would tease her because I'm awful like that. ADDITIONALLY I MUST ADMIT...I, uh, don't play DnD. I tried once! I did! I thought hey, it's over the internet and they can't see me and I've gotten SO GOOD at faking extroversion, I MUST be over the stage fright. I was wrong and when the DM said I could join in whenever I felt like it, my voice froze and I went nonverbal for a good 30-45 minutes. So, I reblog DnD things cause they sound interesting and people put a lot of thought into them and that's always fun but I really know nothing. So! Top 5 DnD monsters from the ignorant!! 5. Abyssal Chicken. I have no idea what it is at all. My one friend linked me a list of DnD monsters so I could actually come up with an answer to this and I saw that on there and it sounds hilarious. 4. Slimes Am I added this mainly because Minecraft slimes are so fucking cute? You can prove nothing. Slimes are iconic monsters. I fought cubes in the sewers of Qeynos in EQ and I fought oozes in the swamps of WoW and yes I've kept baby slimes as pets in Minecraft...I actually kinda have experience with slimes! And the first one I ever met murdered me horribly when I was just trying to kill some rats in a sewer so. 3. Mimics That one group I almost joined and instead spectated for a while had a lil baby mimic come along with them. His name was Jeffrey Nibbles. The cutest little formal voiced fucker EVER. 2. Gith Are they a monster? I don't think they're a monster. Then again, the list that my friend gave me and that I glanced at for 2 second had Arakrokra(sp???????? it's different from WoW, that's all I know!) on it and I'm pretty sure those are PEOPLE and I don't consider people monsters?? But if the bird people are on there then whatever, I can put whatever antagonistic people I want. Gith look cool, they dress cool, and they aren't going to inflict horrible flowery speeches on you like shiny paladins will. Also there was that one Gith lady everyone was horny for a while there from...Baldur's Gate I think? They were right to be horny for her. 1. Displacer Beasts! It's a kitty! Who eats magic! Take THAT, casters!! Pretty pretty kitty that I love. Do I know anything else about them? NOPE. I don't need to. They have plenty of legs for speed and tentacles for hugs and fur for petting. My main experience with THESE is that back in high school, a friend wanted to dm a DnD group of friends, told us to get figurines, and when I went to the store I got a normal character one but also a displacer beast cause I kinda hoped she'd let me play as one, LMAO. Anyway the group never even started, partially because another friend tried to insist on godmoding and making his character into a high lvl with tons of perks and. We're supposed to be starting at lvl 1, my guy. Anyway he just sat and argued with her about it the whole time we were doing the stuff to make characters and when she asked who would be coming next time it was just me and him who said yes. And so the next session never happened. But displacer beasts are still fun.

Sorry this took so long. I intended to actually look at DnD monsters and give a sensible answer but, uh, it's been almost 10 days and I haven't so I have to assume I won't. And thus, you get this mess. Enjoy.

[forthechubbies]

What's Wrong With Secretary Park?!

Synopsis• If balancing work and a stubborn ex-husband isn't hard enough, Let's add the boss’s seven sons falling head over heels for her to mix.

Category's• Romcon, Comedy, Office Au.

Duos• BTS X Reader

A spin-off of the original series ‘ What's Wrong With Secretary Kim’ Bangtan Edition! Starring the Handsome, Seo-Joon Park as the Ex husband.

There will be more parts but I didn’t want the title to be to long.

EP. One Two

“ Mrs. Park, Good Morning!”

“Mrs. Park, What does my schedule look like today?”

“Mrs. Park, Your coffee keeps me alive.”

In case you haven’t noticed, Park Yn, I’m the secretary to Jeon Sung-ho, the CEO of Dnd Parmatech, 85 percent of the time, newly build hospitals or centers use our funds as kickstarts. Daily I make schedules, appointments, filing documents, answering calls, and blah blah blah.

Is it boring? Yes, I know. However, quite refreshing coming from my hectic marriage. Once upon a time, I was wedded to the marvelous actor Park Seo-Joon for three years. I sat in the limelight and even had the privilege to play the part of his wife in movies. Sigh. Although the attention and riches were grand, no amount of expensive counseling could save our marriage. We never saw eye to eye on anything, and his short temper wasn’t helping.

Knowing my worth, I packed up and left without a doubt in my head. However, The documentation of our separation wasn’t finalized due to a certain one refusing to sign off on the divorce agreement. So physically, I’m still Mrs. Park but ain’t no piece of paper telling who I belong too.

Whatever! I have too much to focus on already! Game on, Game on! First, I got to get these papers approved and signed by Mr. Jeon then-

Buzz Buzz Buzz!

Who’s calling-

Speak of the devil. I could have sworn I deleted his contact a long time ago! “ What Seo-Joon? I’m busy-“

“ When is this little temper tantrum going to end? Darling, I think you made your point.”

“My point?! Listen here, You slimy son of-” Now, Now Yn calm down calm down don’t let him get a rise out you that just what he wants. A quick exhale should do the trick. “ Seo-Joon, I believe we reached an agreed on no type of communication unless it revolves around the settlement for the divorce.”

How is it possible I can physically see his snarky face?

Seo-Joon stretched out his list of complaints.” It’s been over a year. I miss your kisses, soft skin, that cute birthmark on your-“

“ You will not talk about such embarrassing things over the phone!” Thank goodness, Nobody was around to hear me shot like that.

“Why is this divorce still an issue?!” There goes that temper again-How whinny can one man be? “ If you don’t stop this, I will take matters into my own hands.”

I laughed. “ Ha, Seo-jerk, I’m not scared of you! Do your worst because It doesn’t matter if you drag me back home; it doesn’t subside the problem being over our marriage.” I feel like a broken record at this point. “ If this isn’t about the papers, this conversation is over, Mr. Park; please refrain from calling me again, goodbye.”

He chuckled and mumbled something along the lines of, “ Your cute acting cheeky like this.” The rest he continued louder “ Those delicate hands of yours were made to indulge in the finest silk and satin I can obtain, not working nine to five at whatever job hired a housewife with zero work ethic. I just know I haven’t touched your side of the room since that night- I love you, Mrs.Park, I always will.”

He hung up. You know, after he finished insulting my new lifestyle and calling me a useless housewife, the ‘ I love you’ bit at the end sounds sincere, but he is an actor! Of course.

Hmph! Just because I’m working for myself for one doesn’t mean I’m miserable. I’m actually in love with my job, It pays well with benefits, and I sat on my butt all day. If that pompous little bedazzled turd thinks making me the butt of his jokes will get me back in his arms, he has another thing coming!

“Um, Mrs. Park?”

“ What!” I snapped. “ Oh, Hoseok, I’m sorry!” I bowed my head; the poor thing nearly jumped out of his shoes.

Hoseok beamed his warm heart-shaped smile at me. “ Oppa is having a family meeting today; I guess I’m the first to show.”

I wasn’t informed about a meeting today from Mr.Jeon, maybe because it’s a family affair.

“Tada!” He cutely squeaks. A tasteful package breakfast alongside a tall cup of what I presume is a coffee from..’ Thanks Nature’!

“Oh my- Hobi, this cafe is across town-”

“I overhead Oppa scolding you for skipping meals one day and I’m here to do the same, don’t skip meals or else We will be hurt if something happens to you.” Hoseok pointed at the pack. “ Eat every bit.”

Hoseok displayed a small heart using his index finger and thumb, hopping off to his father’s double doors.

Mr. Jeon has seven sons in all. The man is a true saint; men like him and his sons are why I still believe not all men are dogs. After losing his wife to heart cancer, He just about went bankrupt, donating all he had to have found cures to multiple diseases hoping nobody else had to suffer his same heartbreak.

Love found him again in an orphanage just north of here, ‘Seoul Children Home.’ His first son, Kim Seokjin, at the time Jin was already in his teenage years, making it difficult for him to find a family due to the high demand of couples wanting a single-digit child. His birth family mistreated him, but he was beaten everywhere except his face to keep his handsome appearance. The family decided to put his money-maker to fair use and attempted to sell him. Seokjin saw his opportunity and high-tailed, landing himself in the orphanage where he happily lends a helping hand every chance he got. He learned how to read, write, cook, clean, and even tend to the tots when the nuns were busy.

This is how he met his slightly younger brothers, Min Yoongi, Jung Hoseok, and Kim Namjoon; when being chosen for adoption, Seokjin refused to live without his baby brothers by his side.

“ Hello, Noona!”

Oh, Look just in time, “ Hello, You’re father is in his office.”

Namjoon eyed my edible gift from Hobi and raised his eyebrow as well as a question. “ So this is why Hyung left so early in the morning for-and I hope you’re having a good morning, Noona.”

I’m not older than them. Why do they call me Noona? Do I look old!?

“ Yn, Good morning! How are you!” Jin greeted me with English this morning. He must have been practicing with Namjoon lately.

“ I’m Fine. Seokjin.”

“Chu.” He blew a kiss my way. “ You’re not fine. You’re amazeing.”

“Amazing.” Namjoon corrected for the sidelines.

“Same thing.”

“Pronunciation is everything, Hyung.”

They stopped halfway from their dad’s office. Jin grinned. Wait, I know that smile; oh no, here comes a dad joke.

“ Hey, Namjoon-You know the reason I took the elevator instead of the stairs?”

Namjoon sighed. “ No, why?”

"I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something." Jin burst out laughing and clapped his hands.

I giggled not from the joke, but Jin has a contagious laugh.

“See, Yn has good taste.”

A slow deep groan entered the office belonging to Yoongi, lagging. “ I heard that terrible joke from the elevator.” Yoongi waved and leaned against my desk. “ Good Morning.”

“Good Morning.”

There was an awkward pause before Yoongi tapped my desk and pointed to his dad’s office from walking that way.

“Yoon-Yoongi!?”

He turned back towards me.

“ I have something for you. I packed it up on the way here.” Getting off my butt, I walked up and gave him a bottle of his favorite black ice coffee. Ew. I don’t know how he drinks it with no cream or sugar.

Yoongi smiled his gummy smile. “ Thank you for thinking of me.”

“You’re welcome.” And off he goes into the office as well.

Yoongi isn’t the biggest fan of human interaction, but he put forth an endeavor towards me, whether it’s a light ‘ Hi or Hello” or the simplicity of a wave. I admire his gusto. Sidenote, He’s so adorable-I know I know I shouldn’t be gushing over my boss’s son, but his chubby cheeks and almond eyes melt my heart like butter on toast!

Ahem-I better get back to answering those emails and drink this beautiful cup of expensive mud before it gets lukewarm. Yummy, The delectable taste is a boost of serotonin! I really should get to work buuut Hobi did command me to get every last bit and technically he is my boss through some type of weird relative aspect. He is the boss.

Just in a moment of seconds, The breakfast and drink was trash. Something that good should be sinful. I feel terrible I should have saved some for the babies; they would have some, especially Jungkook.

The babies should be here any minute.