#i doubt ill ever read it tho

[animentality]

Hunger games seems like an amazing book series that I will never read.

[liquidstar]

i finished drawing the king+queen pair for my ocverse but i figure im not going to post them just yet, bc i also wanna revamp some older designs from andy's group, and i think if i post them all at once as a set i can have all their infoboxes in one place so its more convenient (since andy's group doesn't have those in their og post)

[this-should-do]

i think i might genuinely be a genius for using "gordon" "freeman" to refer to different aspects of gordon and using "gordon freeman" to refer when the two aspects are functioning in tandem i feel so smart for it, i hope it comes across as impactful and clear for readers as i hope lol

[talks-with-the-void]

I tried to tag the commenter but the blog doesn't show up, so I can't. TW: this post does contain what could be interpreted as reality checking and although I don't mean any harm, this could potentially be triggering!

But anyway, this requieres a longer answer - I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume they just don't know better, which is fine, we're all here to learn. So please don't read an attack into this! I also do not experience delusions myself and certaimly don't want to speak over those who do. I am doing my best to be respectful and not accidentally spread misinformation, but if I mess up, please let me know!

Firstly, "delusion" is not a bad word. a delusion isn't "somethign stupid someone believes in, what the fuck is wromg with them", it's a (symptom of) a serious mental illness, often seen in schizophrenia and psychosis. it's an unshakable belief that contradicts Reality (= in this post, Reality with a capital R refers to the reality that is generally shared by all people and can be seen and experinced by everyone - aside from those who may have delusions). "touching grass" won't do anything to help that, it is reality for them and absolutely nothing and nobody can change that. at worst, telling them they're wrong and should just "touch grass" will make them suffer even more.

so, yes, you could say that all p-shifters experince delusions, because nobody but them can see their transformations. at least, there hasn't been any proof at all until today and their beliefs absolutely clash with science and Reality. but here's the thing: there is a condition called clinical lycanthropy or clinical zoanthropy, which describes exactly the experience of believing you can, have turned or will turn into an animal. there are quite a few of them here on tumblr, having their own community which also often kinda overlaps with alterhuman spaces. those people are not p-shifters! p-shifter is not a medical term or anything, instead it is a term that has evolved here on the internet and has a history of cult-like behaviour, lots of manipulation, malicious people, etc. the "original" p-shifters also oftentimes had a lot of ableistic opinions, openly shitting on clinical zoanthropes, using delusional as an insult, etc. the term p-shifter was never ever meant to describe the experience of clinical zoanthropy. it was invented to create the feeling of belonging to an elite group, to put yourself over others. it's even questionable if the majority of p-shifters actually believes they could transform or if they just wanted power over others, promising them to teach them how to turn, knowing all to well it can't work.

nowadays, some clinical zoanthropes try to "reclaim" the term p-shifter - which is a problem, because you can't just take a term that was NEVER meant to describe your experinces and also never used as a slur against you. a different example in alterhuman context would e the word kinnie - originally made by trolls and to shit on otherkin, it always directly addressed otherkin, even if in a deregatory way. it was meant to be used for otherkin. p-shifter was never meant to be used for delusional people. p-shifter will always have its ties to manipulation and cults, it will always be a harmful term.

I don't and will never allow people who call themselves p-shifters on my blog, because of the terms roots.

there is nothing wrong with truly believing you can transforn into an animal, even tho it contrdicts Reality. there is absolutely nothing wrong with being delusional (as in, it doesn't make you a bad person, of course it almost always comes with suffering). there however IS something wrong with proudly using a term that was NEVER meant for you, never described your experiences and instead has a history of manipulation and online-cults. if you proudly call yourself p-shifter and just basically decide to ignore that history, I don't trust you.

THIS is what my post was about, not about the fact that some people are delusional.

[lianreine]

Hi! I hope you're doing well! I just found your page and have to say that I love your writing! I do have a request if that's ok tho. How do you think a relationship between MC, Idia, and Vil would work? It seems chaotic but I feel like it can have some wholesome moments.

Thank you for taking time to read this! Remember to drink some water and have a good day/night/morning/afternoon

Vil X GN!MC X Idia REQUEST #1

I must say i screamed the second i saw a request, this is my first request so I'm sorry if it isn't to your liking (i saw this in class i got stared at- and I'll probably edit this on my pc for any spelling or grammar mistakes♡)

This is all my personal opinion please do not compare me to other writers who may do it better than me :'>

____________

Vil Schoenheit

-I can see Vil spoiling the hell out of Idia and Mc with compliments whenever they doubt themselves, and giving them kisses and a spa day in Idia's room cause let's be honest Idia doesn't wanna go out and Ramshackle ain't the best- (I'm sorry i practically insulted myself with that also-)

-Vil would come watch Idia and Mc play especially if Mc also likes gaming cheering them on and giving kisses whenever they win (who am i kidding when they loose they still get kisses)

-Vil is the type to encourage going out even though he doesn't favor the paparazzi, he is a bit worried that You and Idia will get attacked online

-But it he also can't help posting the dates you three have he can't help but brag having you and Idia

Idia Shroud

- He almost had a breakdown when he fully realized he was together with the fairest of them all and the big hotshot of Nrc all he could think was "HOW THE HELL DID I DO THAT!?"

-He loves Your cuddles and the way you and Vil pamper him when he looses having a player 2 seemed impossible for him but having a player 3? He basically thinks of it every time he plays

-he always gets so nervous when you and Vil say your coming over but he warms up to it when he feel you and Vil hugging him

-yes he did buy you and Vil your own controller customized obviously

-When someone talks bad about vil and or youhe goes mental, basically looking through the person's account (maybe even hacking it-) to find something shit about them to insult

-but when someone insults him while he is defending You and or Vil he doesn't really care but when someone insults him like from a photo or something then he gets insecure but no worries~ you and Vil will always be there for little Idia ready to kiss and pamper him till he begs for you two to take a break

Both

-the both of them are kind of like the combo no one would expect but it works out fairly well

-Idia would go to any of Vil's shows or gigs with you with him ofcourse, Vil would make time to see what ever tournament Idia has been excited about and same for you if you have any sports or tournaments yourself (if it was me i would not even tell them cause ill be to embarrassed like i have two amazing boyfriends like why would they care- again they will find out either way and will support you or go secretly-)

_____

You having a tournament and you didn't tell them:

Mc pov

I tell Vil and Idia that Crowley made me do something again i could see they were upset about crowley giving me another chore that he himself should do and not a student especially one without magic.

I mean...id love to have their support at the ***** but id just be embarrassed to tell them and what if i lose? So I rather not say....

Vil Pov

Mc told us that Crowley has give them another chore, I Immediately went over to Crowley's office and started complaining to him about what he is making my Mc do. Mc is still a student here.

Idia was also with me but a floating Ipad I never forced him to come but Idia seemed frustrated aswell, these chores has taken so much of Mc's time

Me and Idia made Crowley flinch when we started yelling which Crowley immediately protested

"I didn't send Mc anywhere! They asked me to pretend I sent them on a chore! I think I over heard them saying they are going to *****"

Crowley put his hands up in protest

Idia pov

Vil came back to my dorm as he watched over my shoulder as I search about ***** we find out theres a Live event Looking at the Teams...there it is..

"Mc Yuu"

Vil reads outloud in a whisper

"Why would they hide this from us?"

I say a bit confused

"It doesn't matter it says its starting in two hours the location is just 30 minutes away lets get ready"

Vil says also confused but determined

"Wait- we're going?-"

"Yes Idia we are, they are part of the event and they have always come to out events and gigs why won't we go to theirs?"

Vil says to me like i offended him somehow

"Thats true.."

Mc pov

I won...holy shit I won?!

I look around me as people cheer for me then something caught my eye- Idia's hair isn't hard to spot, my heart drops and I smile seeing Vil and Idia cheering for me, they must have realized i saw them because they started to wave at me

Skip(im sorry)

3rd person pov

The three are in Vil's room relaxing just after they started to say to Mc how amazing they were...then to why Mc didn't tell them, they then understood Mc's insecurities and comforted them, now The three are just laying down cuddling together as they drift to sleep

And they have a Happily ever after Thee end

_______

I hope you like it because i haven't wrote Idia yet this is my first and my first request aswell so I really hope you like it♡

-Reine Lian

[binch-i-might-be]

and screaming crying throwing up at jack's reaction

hes so fucking sweet about it. he just accepts it. makes me sob every single fucking time. like. yeah maybe he doesn't understand it completely but he loves alex!

and then the question about the swimming hole, thats just such a fucking sibling thing to do. hysterical. so glad to know that siblings will always be little shits to each other, as seen AGAIN when jsck refuses to be out written by alex when he's working.

AND THEN THEY DRINK TO ALEX AND JOHNS UNION. THAT KILLS ME EVERY SINGLE FUCKIGN TIME LIKE. YEAH. JACK IS ACCEPTING AND CELEBRATING AND HES ONE OF LIKE THE 5 PEOPLE WHO EVEN KNOWS THEYRE IN A RELATIONSHP LET ALONE MARRIED AND ITS THE FIRST TIME ITS BEEN CELEBRATED. god i need a minite im going to sob

and then jack watches them kiss and its just people showing affection and he didnt knoe ehat he expected but its just Normal. and ughfhfhfhdhdjejd.

and then the heart breaking ness of the oh "youve told him all he needs to know" "most of it" "most of it" like kill me. i just cant. then john and alex, theyre all cuddly and cute and jack is hit with how theyre so familair and how theyve done it so much before and just gujfhfdjsjjdjsks

this series genuinely makes me ILL its so djfjdjwjdjjfjw. i cant wait to read the latest extra you published – i havent had time to get around to it yet but gjfjdjsj i have no doubt its going ti be amazing and so good i need to take breaks from reading it bc otherwise im just going to keel over because of how good the writing is.

anyway. thats my little thin ice rant for the day. your writing makes me batshit insane <3 - 🐥

YEAH. YEAH

I just. wanted someone to be nice to the boys. I like to think of Jack as an overall pretty chill guy so that reaction just kinda made sense to me (also he really can't afford to alienate the one (1) sibling he has left oop)

THANK you I was so fucking proud of that snippet lmao. older brothers will be bastards in every era <3

they do!!!!! they deserve it :(( no one has ever celebrated with them. someone just needs to be happy for these boys. please my crops are dying

that whole chapter is honestly one of my favourite things I've written for the series. showing the boys' relationship from an outsider's perspective was SO fun. Jack being so new to this but so supportive. trying to make his little brother feel at ease despite not fully understanding his relationship. the little pinch of angst because I can never let these boys rest. also. drunk Alex my sweet sweet baby boy <3333

well the latest addition is just porn so! thank you tho 🥺🥺 I love your thin ice rants <33

[period-of-nocturne]

I keep thinking about the Virtual Singer from each Sekai and what do they mean

Like what do they represent, what and who makes them appear and what does it mean to the related character

For a long while I thought each VS was linked to a specific kid, based on the focus where they appeared and who it was related to, mostly because of Niigo because... Damn each of them got their assigned VS for a year and half pratically you all know what I mean

But it didn't quite fit all the units and it also fit Niigo less than before, so it couldn't be that

So I kept thinking and

I think each Virtual Singer represent a... "concept", some very specific feelings from each kids

The one I'm the most sure about are VBS and L/N but I just can't explain L/N because they're so obvious to me I don't have the words to express it, so I'll use VBS VS as an example

Starting with Miku

Well, it's pretty simple... Miku is the only one I don't have a clue about (But she's often related to Toya now that I think about it)

So !

Meiko is so obviously that mentor figure, like the role-model... And by that I obviously mean RADers. The way she gives huge Nagi-san and Ken-san vibe and the similarity you can notice between her and those two definitely comes from An and Akito's perception of them, I don't need to elaborate on why I think

Rin and Len are the definition of "partner". I mean, An literally said it in Len 1* side story, she don't see them as sibling or lovers, but as singing partner

And each time one of the kids has some trouble with their specific partner, it reflects on Rin and Len, without much surprise.

They probably both has a distinct meaning, I think about Len's fear of being left behind and being kinda jealous in bout for beside you that obviously fit An but also Akito (those two again, Akito and An are as easy to read as open books it seems. Funny cause they're not the one fond of reading- ahem.), But I can't fully grasp it tbh...

I think I should precise I'm only aware of the stories out on EN before I keep going

Because VBS Kaito and Luka have only one focus feat on EN rn (Vivid Old Tale is the current event) so I could be wrong or maybe I've missed something

But oh by God Miku they make me ill I have to elaborate on them

Kaito first, he appeared during SBD, an Akito focus

And the sweet tooth aside, no one would ever think he looks like Akito. You could even say he's the complete opposite, with his airhead behavior and his innate talent. I even saw some people comparing him to Toya

Meanwhile Luka appeared, or she most likely came back, during SDSC, Toya's focus

And... Well she's also an airhead, kinda. People doubt her link to Toya way less than Kaito's one with Akito, but when you look at it she's everything Toya would think he isn't. She's the carefree and emotionnal one who just go with the flow without thinking about the technical side of things much (something Kaito is way better at even he doesn't seem so). Like, she's just... Living at her fullest, you know

They are everything but alike the kid they came around for... So what does it mean ?

Well I would say Kaito and Luka are what Akito and Toya wish they were, kind of. Akito's frustation being depicted during SBD, how he was chasing after Toya all this time and still kind of do

Toya who was compared to Kaito by ppl (not in game as far as I know), and who's also some kind of talented airhead...

Toya's wish to experience new things in SDSC, that part when he mention how he "has done so little with my [his] life..." But how he would catch up now that he can

And the way how if you ask Toya, the one who made him discover than a such freedom was possible, and kind of open the door for him to this carefree world is Akito. And how he would not be here without him

Did I just typed a whole Virtual Singer analysis only to trick you and makes you read about gay parallels- Noooo, what do you mean... I wouldn't dare

More seriously yeah I have an Akitoya illiness so they're the more developped thoughts I have on the topic, but I wish and hope people would dig into this more because I can't grasp every concept by myself

Don't forget how much Akitoya are gays tho-

Bonus part do you know what happen if you swap the A and the K in Akito's name

VBS Kaito and Akito are kind of the two side of ADHD when you think about it. And that makes sense because Kaito comes from Akito so if you combined them you got the combined style of ADHD do you get me-

Anyway

[vypridae]

HOPE YOUR HEAD FEELS BETYER!! HEADACHES SUCK

anywayys requesting mori or tecchou or fyodor for the character thing [or bc you don’t need to do all of them pick and choose <3]

DOING ALL OF THEM i cant do the doodles i dont have the motivation for art rn i lied about that BUT ILL DO ALL THREE OF THEM

under a cut because these got LONG

MORI

first impression

honestly i think when i first met mori in the anime i was like oh hes sweet i like him . then it was the whole "woah port mafia boss!!!!" thing and i was like oh hes sweet and deadly i like him .

impression now

i love him soo much did you know. hes so fun hes just a silly guy . silly !!!

favorite moment

honestly the moment (from the manga specifically) thats stuck with me the most was the frame that he like, put tachihara's hd hat on his head and was like "you dropped something" it just STUCK with me

outside of canon manga stuff tho i love the little intersection in wan ep 11 that hes like "WHAT DID YOU SEND ME DAZAI ... THESE ARE ... SCARY!!!!!" like hes just so silly i love him

idea for a story

genuinely i do not think about story ideas enough to have a solid one for him but if it counts i often think about him accidentally stealing one of fukuzawa's scarves from That Era i forgot how old he was at the time . and then just keeping it . and fukuzawa finds out somehow . i love them shut up

unpopular opinion

uhhh liking mori in general FSJKHASJKHASFJKG like have you seen this fandom . 99% of the people here fucking hate mori with a passion . and just liking him is super controversial . aside from that though ive seen analyses (tending to be like "mori and pedophilia" or something along those lines) and honestly they make me feel like hes just being really uuuh whats the word. really abstract with how he says things i guess? like one in particular i remember was a word in the original manga (jap) and he said a word that means both "wife" and "thing by my side" or something like that, when theres so many different words he could have used if he wanted to be Creepy specifically. idk theres my mori opinion its so controversial i know block me if u'd like but i love him

favorite relationship

HAHA zskk . easily . love those dumbass gayasses

favorite headcanon

uuuuuh . probably trans mori honestly FJKHASDFGHADFG maybe im biased (trans) but like ... idk i am very biased about this

TECCHOU

first impression

genuinely when i first met all of the hunting dogs i forgot all of their names immediately . as chapters went on though i think the two main things i remember thinking "hes adorable" and "hes in love with jouno 100%"

impression now

i . love him . so much . he is the silliest little guy ever and hes also me . also hes still in love with jouno btw

favorite moment

every one of them /j no but fr in specific i love the ant scene (it was one of the only ones i remembered from the manga after i read that chapter i think), the justice speech / kenji fight (GOD hes so cool) and when he gets hit by the car (that was THE FUNNIEST ever)

idea for a story

oh my god okay so imagine jouno is sick and tecchou is taking care of him . that is all

unpopular opinion

i dont actually think i have an unpopular opinion for tecchou . at least not one that i can think of???? like with tecchou i think most of my hcs line up with how a lot of the fandom talks about him

favorite relationship

EASILY WITHOUT A DOUBT ITS SUEGIKU OH MY GOD

favorite headcanon

he can cook !!!!! he can cook really well and i like to imagine even though he refuses to eat anything thats not the same color he likes cooking stuf he knows jouno likes and doesnt force him to eat any of his "weird" food combos because he knows jouno doesnt really like stuff like that so he cooks how jouno likes for jouno and how he likes for himself . UAHUAUAHGUA

FYODOR

first impression

i think i initially went "oh my god" when i saw fyodor . fell for him IMMEDIATELY and also initially hated fyolai???

impression now

still falling . now love fyolai . improvements !!!

favorite moment

YES. /j

in all seriousness, some of my favorite moments with fyodor are uuh

the dead apple scene where hes on the rooftop and goes "this is too much fun :)" because i think honestly that scene made me fall SO HARD . also he just looks really pretty there dont question me

time for happy group counseling hour !!!!!! hmm? hi everybody im your host fyodor dostevsky- okay hold up stop right there. whats the problem? exactly, what? exactly what what? ooooooooh . life counseling . < that whole scene

ALSO THE THE THE the tHE . WHERE HE KICKS NIKOLAI'S BOOMBOX IN THE MANGA. HSE SO MEAN I LOVE HIM

idea for a story

oh my god. ok so basically . connected oneshots but one member of fyosiglai is individually insecure for some reason and the other two are like FUCK NO YOU ARENT and love them and cherish and praise them until theyre like oguhgug

unpopular opinion

hes pretty i LOVE HIM hes SO PRETTY ive seen HUNDREDS of people say hes UGLY hes SO NOT UGLY i LOVE HI

(in all seriousness, ive seen a lot of people say he'd be like, an abusive manipulative awful husband / boyfriend / whatever, and i literally just cannot see that happening . like, i feel like he'd want the perfect world FOR his s/o, he fell for them for a reason sort of thing . idk maybe i just love him but hgjkahfjkahdfjk)

favorite relationship

fyosiglai. or fyodor and me /j (/hj)

favorite headcanon

UUUUUH UH UH UH UH UH OH MY GOD I HAVE SO MANY HCS ABOUT HIM I LOVE HIM hes a cat person thats one of my favorites . if there is a cat on his lap he will not move

i also love the idea that he cannot for the life of him play horror games because he gets jumpscared and screams and he HATES that bc "vulnerability bad" (nikolai likes when he plays horror games anyway he thinks its funny when he gets jumpscared and screams really loud)

actually scratch that . fyodor is just bad at video games because i love that idea . hes good at logic games but when it just comes down to "survive!!!" or "do this objective" or something i love the idea that hes just Dog Ass at it

[sgtmickeyslaughter]

m and r :3

hey! thanks for asking

M. What’s the weirdest AU scenario you’ve ever come up with?  Did it turn into a story?

I'm not sure honestly, there are so many crazy creative AUs out there im just amazed by the things people come up with but im not really an AU person - i have thought about mermaid/selkie mythology vibes tho just bc i love the image of a rural beach environment with like fog and a lighthouse and cliffs and isolation and melancholy but i doubt ill ever do anything with it

R. Which writers (fanfic or otherwise) do you consider the biggest influence on you and your writing?

I read a lot but i actually think i am more influenced by films and great screenplays, especially with dialogue and curating environments.

writers ask game

[konohamaru-sensei]

i was tagged by the lovely @lemony-snickers <3 thank youuuu!! <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

83

2. What's your total Ao3 word count?

648.098

3. What fandoms do you write for?

According to my AO3 page that would be Naruto, Fairy Tail, JJK and One piece. Tho I have written for HQ and Bnha behind the scenes (for friends)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Private Tutoring - 627 (Naruto)

what the f-- is an isekai? - 445 (Naruto x JJK)

To build a home - 396 (Fairy Tail)

Fool for Love - 272 (Naruto)

Welcome to the Akatsuki! - 219 (Naruto)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

As often as possible. THere are times when I'm not doing so well and feel a little jaded and then I might just "mark them as read". But usually I leave them in my inbox for a long time before I do that to find it in me to reply. I want to reply to all of themf or sure.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At the end of "MIrror Image" , that I set up like a Soulmate Au, Obito is dead like he is in canon. wampwamp

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I dont know which would be the happiest. PT maybe? My readers have to decide that. I usually write happy endings because I like them

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope! I have gotten criticim very early on for a fic that I instantly delted and its been real quiet sinc then.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh yeah, a lot lately. I am not a kinky writer (I also dont really read it), so probably the... uh.. "vanilla" kind.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote a Naruto x JJk crossver which blows me away at how popular it is. It was crazy fun so it doing well is a nice cherry on top.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Hopefully not Hahah

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, once I think.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! @butter--peanut and me collabed on a fic for the birthday of a friend :)

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

I flip flop around depending on hyperfixation, currently nothing makes me tingle with love as much as Fairy Tail's Jellal and Erza

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Started a reader insert story for Buddha from Record of Ragnarok after @kankuroplease and me endlessly talked about how hot he was, but I dont think that will ever lead anywhere lol

16. What are your writing strengths?

Hm. Set ups?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

My dialogues is usally pretty boring. Also I cant do action well at all.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Dont think Ive ever done that, though I can tell you that writing stories in German feels so hard now that I've written so much English.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

When I was 13 I was really into german boybands but if you mean fandom in the more international sense then I started writing Naruto fic in 2008.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Giving you 3 for each of the main fandoms that matter:

Fairy Tail: Innocence dies screaming

Naruto: Hymn for the missing

JJK: The Six Eyed

Both latter two are rather old and probably could use a rewrite, but I very much love them for how they came to be.

I havee nobody to tag so ill taaaaaaaag @butter--peanut aand @akamikazae

[wrongcaitlyn]

about your series dear reader, will we ever get to see Nico having a collab or featured song in the future... heehe... love your work btw

thank u for the ask!! and thank u for reading i’m so glad you like it <3 i’ve actually thought abt this quite a bit!! the thing with collabs, is that either i could use an irl celebrity, or i could make a character a celebrity and make them work with nico—so here are my thoughts on both options:

1) a real celebrity - i try to stay away from involving real life people in the fic, as in interactions, because i don’t know any of those people irl and i would hate to, like, mischaracterize someone or write positively abt someone who eventually gets revealed to be like a shitty person, yk? the most i’ve ever done, i think, is that one time i mentioned nico taking a picture with lorde - but even then, it wasn’t him talking abt her, it was just a picture that was posted. that, and the absurd amount of taylor swift name drops that i have, which i will never stop😭

basically, though i have considered it (my mind is literally CONSTANTLY imagine collabs of nico and other celebs/other songs), i literally have a playlist of them, i don’t think i would ever include it in the fic. simply bc of the concerns mentioned above :/

(however, i would like everyone to know that ive been imagining nico as a surprise guest on the rep tour, and having him featured on rep tv, for like- literally as long as ive had this au in my head. ill never write him collating with taylor (bc again idk i just feel strange writing abt real ppl) but in my head, it’s canon)

2) creating a new celeb - this one is hard, pretty much bc i’m… out of characters.

like, i still HAVE characters to use, but i already have plans for most of them and a majority of them aren’t actually part of the music industry. i could justify a collab between alex and nico bc she’s like the only music person i have written, but i also don’t wanna force that

if i ever do, which i doubt, bc i don’t have any plans to at the moment, it’ll be a pjo character, i just don’t have any idea of who that would be :/

oh and! last reason why i’m hesitant to add a collab - i feel like nico writing music is so engrained with him working with apollo as a producer, and their studio dynamic. obviously, it’s good to step out of your comfort zone, but i think that it’s also some sense of caution and comfort between them, that they’re the same people who will work on every nico di angelo song and album.

either way, i have seven albums outlined in total. the time span of greatest of luxuries goes from 2018-2024. that may be subject to change, but im feeling pretty confident abt it (it used to be 2028 btw😭) and anything PAST that time range is completely up to the reader!! i have lots of ideas of what could happen beyond that seventh album, and i have an idea (and a playlist) of the eighth album, but i can definitely imagine a lot of features in the future as he branches out. (and also him on rep tv. or ttpd. will update when ttpd comes out if i think there’s a specific song he’d slay as a feature on)

and lastly, for features. yes. he is on the hunger games tbosas soundtrack bc i say so‼️

(i imagine yellow flicker beat by lorde, even tho that was written for mockingjay, i just feel like it fits his vibe, but also, can’t catch me now works perfectly too)

[phantomofthehoepera]

PLEASE i wanna know all your hcs about the largo siblings and their moms

YAYY OKAY LOTS OF STUFF UNDER THE CUT <3

so basically I've just made a bunch of shit up bc we don't get a lot in the movie and I like to have fun and be myself. none of it is based off like the weird semi-canon myspace stuff I've heard abt?? if there are similarities they are pure coincidence bc I'm not reading all that god bless.

so for the moms they unfortunately still don't have names so I'm just gonna call them by their colours love and light. I've talked abt them before here but the short version of the story is they, along with marni and mag, were in an opera troupe and caught rotti's interest. they sort of just formed a social circle which nathan was also part of bc like idk college besties or something idk. rotti married red and had luigi, after which red was like you know what I'm kinda craving some nathan and left him. during one of her visits luigi killed her not like with ill intent or whatever bc he was like 5 but still he did fully murder her. rotti, not knowing a warning when he saw one, married blue and they had amber, and then blue was like you know what red was absolutely right I also want some nathan in my life and also left rotti. blue was the least well off of the opera troupe, though, and had some unpaid geneco bill lying around so she got repoed. rotti was still determined to have an opera wife so he married ourple and they had pavi and once again one of rotti's wives left him for nathan at which point he was like you know what if this ever fucking happens again that is IT I am DONE. also ourple died badly from a parasite bc me and my friend had just watched venom when we came up with this. at this point rotti married marni and we all know the rest

AS FOR THE KIDS I think luigi would basically always have been pretty unstable so he wouldn't have been put in the spotlight as much as a kid. also if you've seen a lot of my repo art you might have noticed I draw him with this big scar over his forehead which is bc in my brainverse at some point rotti would have had him undergo some sort of brain surgery in an attempt to calm him down a bit tho I can't imagine it worked at all. also think that basically from that point rotti was basically set on at the very least not letting luigi inherit and probably a bit doubtful of his other kids already

I picture amber and pavi being closer in age and like somewhat closer at least for the first few years of their lives. also I feel so strongly that rotti would have given them like ALL the spotlight just to balance off how little the public would have gotten to see of luigi, so I always picture them as basically child stars. when the novelty of being talented kids started wearing off and the public got a little less interested in them I think amber took it the hardest which is why she's so insistent on returning to the opera when mag quits

also with the kids I wanna stress I don't imagine any of this in my head to make them more sympathetic I think in the present they are all horrid bitches and deserve the guillotine but I am also a fan of succession so I was kind of primed to make up a lot of rich person lore sorry :(

[beanghostprincess]

I am so delighted to see we can send platonic ship and that you are insane about it!! (same here i love it so so much, tahat all my life) so what about Nami&Robin or/and Nami&Zoro

there are so many people asking me my opinions i can't believe y'all actually care about what i have to say ilysm <33

nami/robin: i love them and i wish they had more scenes together in canon :(( i love that they share a room and their beds are literally next to each other. i'm sure that they cuddle when they sleep. no doubt about it. robin reads out loud while nami does her nightly routine with makeup and stuff and then they talk for a bit before falling asleep. i love that they're the only girls in the crew but their role isn't just that. they both keep the guys in place but robin has that silly, satiric dark side that scares nami sometimes, and nami has that impulsive, thief side that robin loves too. and kjsdcjksdnjkasd they make me ill. they have girl nights. they go shopping. they talk shit about people together. they eat sanji's food together. nami talks about how much she misses her girlfriend (vivi, i miss you too. come back) and robin comforts her but instantly nami complains about her "not getting it" because she has her husband on the damn ship!!!!! then nami goes and hugs robin back again. i think they're the smartest and brightest girls ever and they deserve all the love. neither of them has ever had real friends and now that they have the chance to live freely, they finally can hang out together. robin is older and tbh i think she sees nami as this cute, young, brilliant girl with so so much potential. and nami sees robin as, like, this older, mature woman that's also her bestie and that's awesome!!! a lot of people ship them romantically but i personally see them as besties or sisters ngl. i think robin is still getting used to having friends like a normal person and nami teaching her how to enjoy life is so,,, so beautiful,,, they also have their own shenanigans and i need them to have wayyy more scenes together c'mon!!!

nami/zoro: i am so not shutting up about them i apologize- i love them. i am obsessed with them. we need to talk more and more about them. "they're overrated" they should be. they deserve it. i fucking love everything about these two. so, so much... the thing that makes me like them it's probably the fact that they're part of the romance dawn trio, and i'm very nostalgic about those three. they're all important to luffy, of course, all of his nakama are. but... there's just something about zoro and nami being the first ones that makes me insane. they're the ones that had to deal with luffy together when they first met, and ever since, they've just been sooo chaotic. i'm happy opla gave them scenes together (uhhh not so much the fact that people see them romantically. it's obvious they wanted to make them romantic. please don't, netflix, i'm watching you) because they mean so much to me! they have this lesbian/gay solidarity and hostility (yes, at the same time) that i LOVE. i'm obsessed with zoro being all edgy-wannabe (he's just quiet lmfao his dramatic gay ass wanting to be a dark swordsman is so funny) and nami like "??? shut up you're just dumb". the fact that they argue and zoro complains about her manipulative behavior but still always helps her and saves her every time,,, that's so,,, i love them. i know we all say zoro is luffy's guard dog, but that's not true. zoro is luffy's cat and nami's guard dog. he stays behind nami protectively with a dark stare and nobody dares to approach her bc they know they'll die if they try to hurt his navigator. he'd never admit it out loud, tho, but he cares for her an insane amount. and she loves him too. thinking about them cuddling when it's too cold and zoro's just the perfect pillow!! zoro braiding nami's hair!!! nami helping him clean his swords!! they look after the other all the time,, and they are the ones that know luffy the best, of course they're going to be the first ones to talk things out together if something's wrong with him. also, my zolu shipper heart needs to say that nami would be the first one to find out about them. in every universe. i love them.

[hyperactivewhore]

oh my god thank you for answering, also ahahahahaha to the comment saying my english has gotten better, ive been studying it non stop tiktok has helped a lot surprisingly

unfortuntely wattpad is the only site i use so ill read the bottom one you wrote

sorry if im asking for too much but i just wanted to know is it a love triangle between stefan and klaus meaning is the oc playing with both their feelings its okay if you go into detail like i said i dont mind spoilers

also is she straight this may sound weird but im tired of straight ocs i need some gay

it sounds good i think ive seen it on tiktok with the girl from euphoria i think im not sure might be thinking of another one

thank you for your reviews i dont use a03 of the other sites but im sure other people will find the reviews useful

i think you would be a good writer too if you ever wrote something i would read it

It's okay sweetheart! You don't need an account for ao3 and fanfiction.net tho, and reading there it's very easy but it's okay either way! I did write in Wattpad a few years ago (in Spanish though) but I ended up kinda leaving my account in the dust lol.

There is no playing with feelings. You see, Klaus and Mia met in the 1920's and were together until he compelled her to forget him and Rebekah (with her consent) because Mikael was coming, Mia didn't even like Stefan back then. Anyway, speed forward to 2010 and Mia falls in love with Stefan and then Klaus returns. She doesn't remember him, and he acts like a complete dick: he abuses her friends and is in general a complete bitch to her despite loving her. Mia isn't the kind of person to toy with people's feelings, and yes, she's bisexual! (Thanks god because straight ocs needed to disappear) (I'm joking).

And yes to the other question too, she's Maddy from Euphoria (I think that's her name in the show). If you have any doubt, you can go ask @viavolterra!

[queerspaceprince]

super long post

i saw the tv glow spoilers, me being depressing, tw's in tags

i went to see I Saw the TV Glow this afternoon. i got it. def cried a little (idk if hrt has stopped me from crying more bc i havent cried since i was in hs anyway) my sib got it, tho we havent talked ab it yet bc im still processing even now. my mom did not get any of it. at all. wasnt affected. thats fine, whatever.

and. jesus. i give the movie a 15/10, but it was. a whole lot. i have too many emotions.

Im def gonna mention a few spoilers so if you dont want to be spoiled, is your warning.

it made me feel too much. is the allegory really allegory if the hidden meaning is right at the surface?

when owen says that thing during their convo on the bleachers -i cant remember the exact words fuck- something about feeling hollow or missing something or whatever, how he thinks something is wrong with him and his parents do to-i feel that. so much. i felt it so much more before my egg cracked, but i still feel it in relation to my depression and anxiety. that hit me.

there was also that part about feeling like you're watching yourself from the outside, as if through a tv. oof.

then the whole thing maddie said about how time didnt feel right, how nothing changed when she left. i get it. I was 10 nd my parents got divorced, and suddenly im 11 and thinking i wanted to d1e for the first time, and then im 14 in a kind of manipulative relationship, with like 1 friend and super depressed, and then i was graduating and realizing im queer and exploring my gender and going through a breakup. then im 20, and getting my first job, and coming out to my family. and now im 26. and i still mostly feel the same way i always have. i have more good days, and im more confident now, but i still feel like im just going through the motions a lot of the time.

when did I stop being a kid? ive been an adult for 8 years and Im still only working part time (32 hrs), still living with my mother bc rent is $$$$, still barely functional enough that I havent cleaned my room since last year and ive only showered 3 times in the past week, and i have to force myself to go get coffee on my days off or else ill stay in bed all day. Im just stuck here. i shouldve taken driving lessons when I could. id be out. except i cant leave my sibling behind with my mother. shes not awful, but them being alone is an explosion waiting to happen. but they dont have a job and i doubt i could support both of us. and now i dont trust my eyes enough, like i read for 15 minutes and everything else goes blurry, like im seeing triple.

anyway. next is the scene in where she talks about k1lling herself to get back to the pink opaque world. I. have to admit i nearly threw up. the imagery, the way she spoke about it. she said she regretted it while she was stuck underground, then how she felt good about it, about getting out....ive been sitting in a low spot for a while, it was better while we were on our trip, but it just reverted when we came back. i keep thinking im going to relapse into sh again. i feel so close to the edge sometimes. and theres really no reason for it either. my life is fine. not great, not perfect. but adequate. anyway i had to close my eyes and take a minute after that.

i feel that even without wanting to go back to the other world, maddie was suicidal. she wouldve found some reasoning to k1ll herself. Now ive only ever been actively su1cidal once, when i was 15 -or 16- idk my teen years are all a blur of depression and anxiety. im good now. well. i say good. im more, self destructive then really wanting to d1e. just. i feel so bad on the inside for no reason, why can i have a reason to hurt on the outside?? anyway, im ok now, im 3.5 years clean, i dont want that to change. im working on my coping mechanisms.

there was another quote from that planetarium scene that i couldnt stop thinking about but has now vanished from my mind entirely. bc sometimes getting my thoughts in order is like. catching smoke.

anyway. then everything after that. him growing old. knowing something about him is different but not wanting to acknowledge it or it would drastically his life as he knows it. I understand that feeling. except for me, its not exactly acknowledgement of myself, its doing something about it. while I didnt exactly stay in the closet long, that feeling of not wanting anything to change is why the closet exists. i realized i was queer in 2014, trans 2015. came out as bi that summer, but i didnt come out as trans until 3 years later. when I had a job. access to money if i ended up getting kicked onto the street. i literally had a bag packed and ready to go. and yet. even when i did come out, i was too afraid to correct my family on my pronouns or name for another year. my sibling really helped with that. immediately used them. Tbh theyre my fave person and id do anything they asked.

the whole thing about there still being time.

i see a lot of tiktoks about this. people watning to do stuff now bc there is still time to change your life or whatever. im interpreting it differently.

there is time now, but your hourglass will run low eventually. live while you still can, while you can still do something about it. how that message showed up after maddie left- their time together had run out, but he might still be able to do something. make a change. idk. but owen was too scared to do anything.

im still scared to do anything.

i still dont correct people on my name or pronouns if they get them wrong. i still dont speak up if my family says anything not pc (they are learning tho). im too scared to talk about any big feeling i have bc ive always been brushed off in the past and i dont want to feel worse becasue of it.

i still havent done anything to get my name or gender marker changed bc im scared. idk why. ive been living as a man for 6 years, i got top surgery almost 3 years ago, and ive been on hrt for nearly 2.

it terrifies me for some reason. maybe ts the complexity of it. ive found 3 different versions of the paperwork, and nowhere does it tell me exactly how or who to submit it too. one of those said i could submit online but it had to be printed, notarized, and scaned back into the computer? none of the other versions said it had to be notarized???

and i have nobody who has any knowlege that could help. my aunt worked for a lawyer for years, and yet she just said all I have to do is go to the dmv. like babe. no. thats not how that works.

i think ill start on that again.

while i still have time.

[goodfully]

okay ive never used tumblr before so i dont really know how posts are typically formatted, however, i do just want to use this mainly to word vomit so! jumbled messy thoughts on brothers karamazov, books five and six:

ive only read up until here so far, but im pretty sure that this is my favorite part of the entire book. the contrast is so insane, i adore dostoevsky. book five was so dense with heavy cynicism and doubt and followed book six being so reassuring and calm. part of me wishes that i was able to read both parts immediately after the other hahaha i also think that anyone that wants to read the brothers karamazov but does not want to read the brick of a book it is, they should read books five and six! just the chapters focused on ivans and zosimas perspective of faith, i mean.

i think that the idea that “the world is so evil, there is no way a benevolent god could have created it” is probably one of the main reasons ive been so unwilling to believe that there is a god, and its one of the main things that ivan was explaining to alyosha in book five. its so hard to accept that any amount of suffering is going to be worth whatever this all is. and yet… my goodness. humanity needs god? whether it is god that created humankind or humankind inventing god out of necessity… and just like ivan, i think ive always believed that believing in god would heal me somehow, that ill finally understand how to be alive as a human being when i do... the need to know what it was all for!

also the sticky little leaves part that ivan said!!! “i want to live, and i do live, even if it be against logic, tho i do not believe in the order of things, still the sticky little leaves that come out in the spring are dear to me, the blue sky is dear to me, whom one loves sometimes, would you believe it, without even knowing why” real real real. and ahh, alyosha responded something like how you can only understand lifes meaning after you love life (before logic)… which makes sense but yk, i always thought it was the opposite, that i had to understand lifes meaning in order to love life and be happy, but it was a very hopeless and sad conclusion. so this made me feel better honestly.

agh… and the whole “grand inquisitor” poem was so dark and insane, it tore me to shreds. i actually dont know what to say, except maybe now i understand why its the most famous chapter in the book.

i adore ivan and i adore alyosha and i adore their relationship. the way they speak to each other with love and respect for the other, even tho they believe in totally opposite things. im not sure about alyosha bc ivan was doing most of the talking, but my impression is that they were searching for answers from the other, they really do love each other. “tho im terribly fond of one russian boy named alyosha” sobs. “i thought, brother, that when i left here id have you, at least, in all the world” cries. “so alyosha, if indeed i hold out for the sticky little leaves, i shall love them only remembering you. its enough for me that you are here somewhere, and i shall not stop wanting to live. is that enough for you? if you wish, you can take it as a declaration of love” weeps.

okay about the zosima chapters… the thing is that even tho i have a lot of thoughts and feelings regarding faith, i am not a religious person, so i do wonder how someone who is christian would feel reading this book. for me tho… reading these chapters somehow made me feel the closest to having faith in anything ever hahaha… i dont think i care more about “gods truth” or anything, but just… i think ive been isolating myself way too much and thinking that everything must be done and figure out how to experience the fullness of life by me alone. and then zosima hits me with a “everywhere now the human mind has begun laughably not to understand that a mans true security lies not in his own solitary effort, but in the general wholeness of humanity.” and i believe that, i do! esp with how much individualism and capitalism stinks up this place. but i forget when it comes to myself i think…

i think my favorite sections from the zosima chapters are the ones about praying, loving, and judging others. uhm i dont pray, altho i think its mainly due to the fact that i do not know how to pray, and its not like zosima explains what praying is like exactly… but his words make me think that its just a very personal thing..? ahh anyway, the lines about love love love. “love man also in his sin, for this likeness of gods love is the height of love on earth” and “if you love each thing, you will perceive the mystery of god in things. once you have perceived it, you will begin tirelessly to perceive more and more of it every day. and you will come at last to love the whole world with an entire, universal love”… lives in my mind constantly now, its crazy its crazy i dont understand why his words mean so much to me. dostoevsky gets me, he really does.

ofc theres so many good lines from zosima, and this one probably isnt that great of a line compared to the many others, but to me at least, i started crying here hahaha it was pretty much at the very end of book six: “but woe to those who have destroyed themselves on earth, woe to the suicides! i think there can be no one unhappier than they. we are told that it is a sin to pray to god for them, and outwardly the church rejects them, as it were, but in the secret of my soul i think that one may pray for them as well. christ will not be angered by love. within myself, all my life, i have prayed for them, i confess it to you, fathers and teachers, and still pray every day.” ahh!!! im not even religious, and tbh ive not felt much when someone tells me they have prayed for me, but… maybe its bc i hate how mentally ill i am and hate how much i self sabotage and destroy myself, but some fictional monastery elder saying that he prays for and loves someone like me??? i cried real tears.

im probably being very dramatic, but after reading the zosima chapters esp towards the end of book six, i felt… so much love? i felt so loved. and yet also somehow guilt for not loving the world enough and not believing in mankind enough. i have to accept the world and of humanity and of myself, and i must love, oh how i must always love! zosimas such unconditional and undifferentiated love is so important to me, i dont know what to do… i think that reading this book has done more for me (regarding faith in the world and everything) than anything else has hahaha. it feels so silly bc im not even halfway done with the book yet and i already feel that this is the most important book ive ever read. its also funny bc you read the little paragraph on the back of the book and the first sentence describing the book is that this is a murder mystery (the actual murder hasnt even happened yet!) hahaha i love this book truly truly.