#i drew this a while ago when i wasn’t in art block

[bizarreandjarring]

thats gay

[a-substantial-trash-pile]

referencing the last reblog so i don’t end up writing a mcfreakin novel in the poor person’s notes:

because god it really sucks holding it all in. my therapist is cool but it’s hard to explain some of these things that bother me to someone who isn’t as “online.” so i resort to posting about the things on my tumblr because it’s the closest i can get to talking about things to someone else without feeling as much of the guilt. idk my mind is an anomaly. speaking of guilt im putting a “read more” here now because this dumb thing’s getting long and now im thinking about the things that have bothered me that idk if i handled right and i don’t want to subject others to seeing it if they don’t want to.

ALSO i think im going to tag my random posts that i make when im having sad bad brain times with “trash rants” so please feel free to block that tag as needed!

the following is essentially about being in a discord server that had both minors (15+) and adults in it and the complications i had in that environment.

one thing that happened a while ago involved a situation within a fandom discord server that idk how tf to even explain the situation to a professional without feeling like an idiot. an adult artist had a character that other people in the server liked. one time that person posted something they drew of that character topless with a message about how boobs shouldn’t be sexual which is absolutely right. but then the others + the artist started making comments about the character’s boobs that i became very confused with how to interpret. my brain was like “are the intent of these comments to be suggestive/sexual in nature or am i being an ignorant asshole for interpreting them as such and it’s because i’m being the problem and seeing boobs themselves as a sexual?” it was even more complicated because the people involved in making these comments were underage. it got even even more complicated because then some of these underage people started drawing the character topless with more comments that i didn’t know how to interpret. one of these people at some point told the original artist that they would privately dm them the more nsfw drawings they were doing. and everyone seemed to be having a good time going “BOOBS 👀👀” and all that and the channel was going crazy. but i was getting so uncomfortable and confused. and i felt like such an asshole. because i like boobs too and society shouldn’t see them as something inherently sexual. but the underage folk being involved made it so complicated for my brain. because if some random person not involved with the server looked in on what was happening, couldn’t it be seen as minors making and sending an adult nsfw art? even though it was very likely NOT the intention of the original artist.

what i ended up doing was bringing my concerns to the server owner, which was responded well to. a rule was put in place about sharing nsfw stuff. but i felt so guilty about it. i felt like i was being a party pooper and ruining people’s fun. i still wasn’t sure if i was even doing the right thing and if it was a problem within me and not with what happened. i was born into a conservative religious background so it was only when i became more independent and was allowed access to the internet that i got to start to unlearn the bad things that were taught to me. that background is something i’m trying so hard to separate myself from, but it’s something that i’m afraid will haunt me. was what happened in the server not actually a problem, and it was because my brain wants to do the bad society thing and interpret boobs as sexual? did i ruin everyone’s fun because i’m just an ignorant asshole who got uncomfy at something i shouldn’t be getting uncomfy about? i still don’t know. anyway, i ended up leaving the server because i just couldn’t enjoy it anymore. once in a while that original artist’s stuff pops up naturally in my feed because we’re still in the same fandom, but i can’t even look at their art or even their name without feeling all the confusion and guilt again. which i feel terrible about because they seemed like a really nice person and they’re a great artist! and i really don’t think they had any bad intentions at all when that situation in the server happened. but i just can’t do it.

that situation was the first moment i truly realized just how scary it is and careful you have to be when you’re in an online environment where adults and minors can freely interact. it’s easy to forget ages when you’re just a profile picture, and how easy it can be to influence someone young, and how dangerous that is, whether your intentions are good or not. it made me realize that i don’t want to be in that type of server where you’re directly interacting with underage people. because i’m a fucking mess and i don’t know what the hell i’m doing 90% of the time. i don’t want to somehow mess up a kid! even if it’s an accident i didn’t want to risk having that accident happen in the first place. it’s one of the reasons why i can’t bring myself to ever draw and post nsfw art anywhere either. i just feel so uncomfortable about it. to me it’s fine if others do it if they’re doing it in a safe way with the necessary precautions, and they shouldn’t feel shame in it! it’s just not something i feel comfortable doing myself.

jfc im so sorry if anyone actually read this far. this whole thing is so stupid. i wish i didnt let it bother me for so long. there are a lot of stupid things that my brain wastes time worrying about. maybe writing all this down will help me explain it to someone on the “outside” who can tell me how to stop it. i don’t know.

[naminethewriter]

Extra Service Chapter 1: The Guest

Finally! I had this idea over a year ago I think and yesterday I had the brilliant idea to just publish this story with chapters instead of making it a one-shot.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story about Remus forcing a stranger to do some self-care 💚

Here on Ao3

“Housekeeping!” Remus called as he knocked on the door to room 227. He received no answer, so he used his master key to enter the room. It was tidy enough, probably some businessman who was only staying for a night or two and was out to work. Remus liked those guys (as guests only though, he’d never get along with suit-monkeys on a personal level), they never brought much, didn’t really unpack and knew the rules that made his job easier. So he quickly fixed the bed, emptied the trash before moving on to the bathroom to replace the towels.

Honestly, being a hotel housekeeper was never something Remus thought he would be, even if it was only a side job to pay the bills. He wasn’t optimistic enough to ever think that his art would keep him afloat; at least not in his early career, his style was too unique for that. But when he thought of part-time jobs to do before his big break (if he ever had one), he thought of coffee shops, McDonalds, or other retail crap where he had to deal with Karens and other small minded assholes. He still had to deal with those here, of course, just not as much. Most of the rooms he cleaned were empty and he rarely was on food delivery duty. He preferred it this way. He didn’t mind the cleaning all that much, dirt had never bothered him. Janus had saved him by getting him this job, even if it came with strict rules. Remus could hold himself back for a few hours if it meant he could go batshit crazy with his art like he wanted to.

As Remus got back to his cart to dump the dirty towels in, he gave the room another once-over, going through his mental checklist to see if he forgot something and came up with nothing. So he closed the door and moved on to the next. Room 228. The last room on this floor. And a room that had been on his mind for a few days now.

Remus had taken up a couple more shifts recently. A co-worker had called in sick and Remus had a bit of a creative block so he had the time to spare and who was he to say no to extra cash? That meant that Remus had been here for four days in a row and that’s also why he knew that the guest in Room 228 had checked in three days ago and hung out the ‘Do not disturb’ sign. And hadn’t taken it back since. Meaning no one had been in there to clean and, as far as he knew, no one had restocked the mini bar or brought the guest food either.

Janus had told him not to worry about it. Apparently that particular guest had done the same thing multiple times before: rent out a room, locked himself in for a few days, collapsed for another and then leaving. What exactly he was doing in there, Janus didn’t know which of course peaked Remus’ curiosity. But that wasn’t the only thing that drew him to the door right this moment.

He had seen the guy checking in. He had caught his eye immediately, because not only was he devilishly handsome but also worryingly thin. The guy had taken his keys and moved straight to the elevator with such purpose that Remus couldn’t help but watch him go. And oh, what a sight it was. The guy had one fine ass. Luckily Janus had been the one to check him in, so Remus had an easy time asking him all about the mysterious man with the great ass. Of course Janus had refused to give him so much as a name. But he did tell him not to expect too much since the guy would isolate himself as soon as he got to his room. Which turned out to be true. 

Remus was now standing before the door, the number plate 228 glinting at him in the artificial light while he glared at it. He wouldn’t lie, the man’s weird behaviour and good looks had caught his attention no problem and he wasn’t above flirting with guests, much to Janus’ chagrin, but that wasn’t why he was here now. No, his main reason was that he was worried. The guy only had one small suitcase with him and the mini bar only held so many snacks and drinks, some of which were alcoholic. There was no way he was eating right in there and he was already so thin! Remus had watched his brother work himself to the edge of a mental breakdown before; he was not going to let this guy do the same, even if they were total strangers.

Now determined, he let his lips twitch into his trademark manic grin he always wore whenever he was set on something. Roman said it made him look like a mad scientist while working on his paintings or statues, paired with random patches of paint or dust on his clothes and skin and honestly, Remus didn’t mind the comparison. He snatched the ‘Do not disturb’ sign from the doorknob, placing it on his cart for the time being before knocking.

“Housekeeping!” He waited for an answer but none came. He put his ear against the door, trying to make out any sound from within but the door was too thick. He tried calling again. Still no answer. He pushed away the images of a lifeless body and the smell of rot his brain produced. The guy was probably fine, definitely not dead. Maybe passed out. Probably just really focused. Roman had done that, too, back then. Didn’t hear him no matter how loud he yelled. Yeah. The guy was fine. He must be. Because even if Remus was a fan of horror and gore, he didn’t really want to find a dead body at work. Especially since it would be on Janus’ watch and he had worked too hard to get his position to get demoted just because one guy couldn’t take care of himself.

Pulling out his master key again, he carefully opened the door and peaked inside. Immediately his worries were proven wrong, the sound of fast typing reaching his ears. The guy was definitely conscious. ‘Unless, of course, someone else had broken into the room!’, his brain supplied. ‘Could’ve killed the guy and was now trying to get info out of his computer like in the spy movies!’ Remus could feel his adrenaline rise in a weird mixture of dread and excitement. He shook his head. ‘No! Concentrate! The guy is overworking himself and you’re here to stop that!’, he reminded himself. He quietly pushed the door open further.

The room was dark, despite it being early afternoon. The curtains were drawn close and only one lamp close to the table (or was it a desk? Remus wasn’t quite sure what exactly the difference was) was emitting a soft light. The guy was sitting with his back to the door, illuminated by the screen of his laptop on which he was furiously typing. Remus was quite sure he hadn’t paused once since he entered the room, again something that reminded him of Roman’s worst days when he thought that every little break was equal to failure. Remus couldn’t see what exactly the guy was so focused on, he was completely blocking the screen from view. Not that it really mattered to Remus what it was. It could wait for a few hours. No, it HAD to wait. It was clear to him that this man was not in his right mind and needed to take a break RIGHT NOW. He just needed to get the guy’s attention.

Making noise had already proven to be fruitless. Remus had been extra loud the second time he called. Touching the guy suddenly was probably a bad idea. His reaction could range from punching Remus to him having a heart attack or something. ‘Both sound like great options! He doesn’t look like he has any muscle but what if he was actually fucking strong?! And if he had a heart attack, you could see someone die! Up close and personal at that!’ Again, Remus pushed those thoughts away, though he filed the first idea away for later. That might be something he could work with somehow. No, the best way to get the guy’s attention would probably be through sight. But he was so focused on his screen that Remus would probably have to wave his hand right in his face or pull the laptop away, both options again putting him back in punching distance.

Remus let his eyes wander as he thought (he could take his time; the guy wasn’t noticing him anyway). Finally they landed on the curtains and his grin widened as he had an idea. Sudden, bright light would definitely do the trick! But in order to get to the window front and open said curtains, he would need to pass the table (desk? Whatever!), placing the guy between himself and the door. Bad plan if the guy turned out to be an actual spy or some shit. ‘That would be super exciting though,’ his head supplied. He rolled his eyes at himself. ‘Obviously.’

But there was one more bright light at his disposal that he could utilise from his position. The ceiling lights whose switch (again, obviously!) was by the door he was standing in. ‘Wait! How hasn’t he noticed the light coming in from the hallway? If he doesn’t react to that, will this even work?’ Remus hesitated for a second, glancing over his shoulder. The light in the hallway wasn’t all that strong. While the windows were big, it was pretty cloudy outside and the lamps were shut off. The lamp in the room should be much brighter, plus it was pretty close to being directly above the guy. It should work. ‘And if it doesn’t, I can still get within punching range,’ Remus thought. ‘Hell yeah!’ his head cheered back.

So Remus placed his hand on the light switch, eyes trained on the guy to watch his reaction, and flipped it.

As soon as the light hit his eyes, the guy flinched so badly that he almost fell out of his chair. He sharply turned his head upward and practically recoiled like some cliché vampire when his eyes met the bright light directly. He also let out a sort of painful… hiss? Maybe? That’s the best comparison Remus could come up with (it sounded adorable though, in his opinion at least). The guy cursed under his breath (at least Remus guessed it was cursing, he couldn’t quite hear him, but it made the most sense), rubbing his eyes. He recovered quickly though and finally turned towards the door and, of course, Remus, enabling him to get a good look at the guy.

And what a sight it was. His ebony black hair was tousled and clearly hadn’t been washed in days. His dark green eyes were open wide, but his pupils were tiny pinpricks. The glasses he’s wearing were crooked and weren’t hooked behind his left ear properly. He was still wearing the suit he had arrived in, without the jacket. The tie was hanging so low, it almost came undone and the shirt was wrinkled by now. All in all, Remus couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so attracted to anyone. If ever.

The sexy stranger seemed so surprised by Remus’ appearance that his mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to speak which gave Remus a few seconds to give the room itself a once-over. It was a complete mess. The missing suit jacket and the suitcase were both lain over the bed. The suitcase was opened, and its contents strewn around the room, mainly some clothes and papers. The mini bar wasn’t closed properly but most likely empty since the (also empty) bottles and wrappers were scattered around the room. The tabledesk (‘Ha! Made a new word now!’) was also littered with papers and books, the laptop in the middle of the chaos and its charging cord buried beneath the paper. And then Remus was hit by the smell and oh boy was it unpleasant! Good thing Remus was the first one in here, he could appreciate a good stench. But it was not something befitting the hotel, so he knew he had to get rid of it soon.

“Who- why- how-?” the stranger finally started to sputter before he took a deep breath to compose himself. “Who are you and what are you doing in my room?” he croaked out, voice raw from apparent misuse. Remus was pretty sure he was attempting to glare at him but it was hard to take him seriously with how obviously tired the guy was.

“Housekeeping!” Remus called again with a wide grin. The guy blinked at him a few times, then slowly eyed him sceptically but seemingly concluded that he wasn’t lying (which, you know, he wasn’t).

“I hung out the sign. I was not to be disturbed,” he said through gritted teeth. Remus just grinned wider.

“That was three days ago, so it expired today!”

“I have never heard of such a rule existing.”

“Of course not! I just came up with it after all!” The guy stared at him as if he’d grown another head. ‘Maybe we did! You should check!’ his head called excitedly. ‘I don’t have an extra head.’ Remus answered sharply. He couldn’t afford to get lost in thoughts right now. He probably only had this one chance to get through to the guy and he was not going to waste it!

“You… just came up with it?” the guy asked slowly.

“Yeah!”

“You entered my room… despite the sign… because of a rule you made up?”

“That’s what I said!”

“Are you trying to get fired?”

“No. This job pays well and isn’t all that bad, I kinda, weirdly, like it.”

“Then why are you disregarding your instructions to follow rules you made up?”

“Because you’re hot and I was worried.” There was silence as the two stared at each other for a few moments before the guy took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes again.

“Get out right now and I will not report this to your manager,” he sighed, turning back toward his laptop. “And shut those lights off again when you leave.”

“Not happening!” Remus said cheerfully, moving further into the room and towards the windows. The guy obviously wasn’t a spy ( :( ) and way too out of it to manage any kind of assault ( :(( ). He hummed as he moved forward, drawing the curtains open and opening the windows.

“Stop this right now!” the man demanded while desperately trying to keep his papers from flying away as a draft blew through the room and out of the still open door. Remus, of course, did not stop. Instead he gathered the empty wrappers and bottles, moving back to his cart to dispose of them. He turned off the light as he passed the door as it wasn’t necessary anymore. By then the man had managed to secure all the loose papers under books and he angrily stomped towards Remus.

“Listen here, you have no right-“ The rest of his words were cut off as Remus pushed a granola bar into his open mouth. The man froze, staring at Remus with wide eyes.

“You look like you’re going to collapse any minute now, Sir. We’ll order something proper in a moment but first eat that and drink some water.” He pressed a bottle into the man’s hand before going back into the room and starting to clean the room. He put the clothing back into the suitcase since it all seemed to not have been worn and only taken out in order to reach something else. He also moved the case off the bed and made that, too. Any books and papers that weren’t already on the tabledesk he gathered into a pile and placed it with the others.

Only then did he chance a look back at the handsome stranger who hadn’t said another word so far. The man still stood at the door but the fight seemed to have been drained from him. Only a few moments before, he had approached Remus with such determination, standing tall and talking clearly. Now he was slouching, nibbling the granola bar, the water bottle still in his hand but Remus could see that it had been opened and emptied somewhat. Satisfied, Remus turned back to observe the room.

It was in an acceptable state for now and the air also was much better. Still he would leave the windows open a little longer. Moving on to the bathroom, he could immediately tell that it’s hardly been used. Still he grabbed the few towels that had been and glanced to see what else he had to restock. By the time he placed the towels on his cart and grabbed the new ones, the man had finished his snack and drink. While his complexion had improved, he still seemed on the verge of collapsing.

“Do you have allergies?” Remus asked. The guy startled, having spaced out after finishing the rations.

“Excuse me..?”

“Do you have any allergies? Or foods you can’t stand? Vegetarian or Vegan?” That didn’t seem to clarify anything and the man blinked at his slowly. Remus could only guess that exhaustion was about to overwhelm him (but man, did the rings under his eyes make him look hot).

“We’re going to order you something to eat. Not much but you need to eat more than one granola bar.”

“A-a salad will do.” He still sounded very unsure of the entire situation. Remus stared at him for a moment but shrugged.

“Alright. I’ll order, you go take a shower. It’ll make you feel better.” Remus was about to leave to prepare the bathroom while the man gathered some clothes to wear but was stopped as he spoke up again.

“Why are you doing this? I could get you fired and I do not see how you are profiting from forcing me like this.”

“I haven’t forced you to do anything,” Remus laughed. “The phone is right there. You could have gone over there and complained at the reception at any point. But you didn’t.”

“No. I did not.” He sighed. “Will you answer my question or not?” Remus grinned.

“Maybe later. For now go get clean. As much as I like a sweaty man, you need to get rest and it’s gonna be easier if you feel comfortable in your own skin.” He nodded.

“Very well. Could I have your name at least?”

“Sure. It’s Remus. Remus Kingsley.”

“Logan. Logan Croft.”

Chapter 2  |  Chapter 3

[aconstantstateofbladerunner]

The Glitch

I get the Broken Reality au is a haha funny joke but there’s been some legit great art for it and since Butterfly is over and I haven’t gotten into the groove of my other projects yet, I decided to try some flash fiction of my interpretations. Note that this is very small and informal; I used whatever idea came into my head over the course of an hour or so instead of the weeks of planning that go into my usual fics. This was an experiment for fun. But if people enjoy the concept, I may be tempted to expand on it.

Credit to @lollitree @moonpaw @gentrychild​ @owlf45​ and @cyber-phobia​ (I’m sorry if I missed someone I lost track of how many people were involved in this mess).

Content working for reference to infant death.

Please enjoy!

The city shut down for a typhoon warning.  Thunder rumbled in the distance.  Dark clouds blocked the sun so much that by mid-morning it still looked like it never bothered coming up.  And yet the humidity made it too hot for coffee.  Inko didn’t know how to feel.  Work would have been a good distraction.  But she didn’t want any coworkers or clients to see if today got to be too much.  And it was already shaping up to be.  She caught herself making two plates of food for breakfast.  

Inko sat alone in the kitchen.  She couldn’t bring herself to finish her own plate.  Sickness set in fast.  The food had been cold for a long time before she summoned the strength to get up and throw it away.  Then she stood over the open trash can a while, debating whether to try and hold it together, or just throw up and get it over with.  She eventually managed to keep her stomach steady enough to go back to her bedroom.  There was another trashcan in there anyway.

A sound stopped her.  From her office.  The distinct sound of something heavy falling onto the carpet.  Right as she walked past the door.

Please not this again…

She opened the door with her eyes closed.  Her mind conjured a familiar image.  A bedroom full of books and hero posters.  Bright colors and personal touches.  A child’s room.  Inko opened her eyes to her drab home office.  Some of the older case file binders slipped off the pile again.  She really needed to sort those into storage. Not today though.  She didn’t bother to pick it up.

Inko walked faster than normal the rest of the way to her room.  She doesn’t want to face the temptation to search for old toys she remembers storing in the empty closet.  Or search the walls for scuff marks from action figures tossed into them she could always see even after the walls were painted. She hid her planner on a tall shelf and put the ladder away to make it that much harder to go through it over and over looking for doctors’ appointments and school events she knew were coming up.  Finally reaching her bed brought no comfort.

Of course she knew today’s date by heart.  She hadn’t put it on a calendar in the fourteen years since she used to look at it every day.  Inko stuck her head under her pillows, as if they could block out the silent noise of her memories.  Memories of before, the time even when she was by herself, she was never alone.

Fifteen years now, today.  With a shuddering gasp, the tears finally came.  Thunder crashed outside.  It’s not fair!  Why is it still this hard after this long?  Phantom kicks in her belly joined the growing ice there.

The hardest part was she still felt like that sometimes.  Like she wasn’t really alone.  Inko didn’t believe in ghosts, but the lost of what could have been was more than haunting enough.  She felt it watching her.  Judging her. Waiting just long enough for her to settle down into a peaceful, content existence before it reared up to plague her heart all over again.  Cliché hauntings like spooky faces in the mirror or blood coming out of the drains would have been preferable.  Those would be generic enough not to remind her directly.

Rain started outside.  Her phone lit up with a notification she ignored in time with a thunderclap.  The storm was getting closer.

Maybe I should call Hisashi, the thought crossed her mind.  Maybe he’s going through this too.  She bit her lip bloody.  Her frustrated memories weren’t in question like the others.  Probably not though.  I don’t want to talk to him anyway.

Hisashi had been stuck in the denial stage of grief, which often came off as him acting like he didn’t take hers seriously.  Not a year, not even half a year looking back, after they came home from the hospital, he wanted to try again.  

“We can’t let mourning hold us up forever,” he said.  “And it’s not like we lost a once in a lifetime opportunity!  We’ve got at least another twenty years to keep trying!”

But we did lose him! she had wanted to scream.  Still did, years later.  Why didn’t he understand?  He was your loss too!  Inko wanted for the next roll of thunder, then shouted.  

“I don’t just want any baby!  I want Izuku!”

The lights went out.  The temperature rose five degrees instantly when the ceiling fan stopped going.  The rain stopped.

Power outage.  Inko sat up with a sniffle.  Turns out the notification was a warning about roving blackouts.  Of course.  Oh well. I wasn’t really in the mood to cook tonight any-

Thunder boomed even louder than before, making her jump.  Then another.  Lightning flashed outside at the same time.  It was right on top of her.

What?  I thought the typhoon wasn’t supposed to make landfall until later toni-

Another crash.  It vibrated through her bones.  Then another. The lightning lit up her whole room. Except for a shadow on the wall. Inko jolted to look, holding her breath, and found only her own shadow in the next flash.

“I’m such an idiot…”  She went for her phone again.  For peace of mind, she decided to use her data to check if an evacuation order went out. Or any updates at all really, since the weather came so much faster than the news said.  “Nothing,” she sighed annoyed.  “I hate being alone for weather like this…”

A new notification pinged.

[Mom]

Inko blinked rapidly.  The message remained.  All of her insides turned inside out in an instant, and she started crying again. Was this someone’s idea of a sick joke? No one ever got a chance to call her that.  She touched the note to open it, but nothing happened.  No app or source was displayed.  Nor did it go away after a few seconds like normal.  

“Wha- What’s going on?” she wept.  In a mix of sorrow and rage, she wound up to chunk the device across the room.  But she froze.

Outside her window, floating against the pitch-black sky, were two small orbs.  Perfectly circular and glowing.  Watching her. She didn’t dare move.  

Another ping.  She looked without moving.

[I’m sorry]

“…  What?”

For a moment, all the sounds in the world dropped out.  They all came back at ounce.

Lights flickered.  Both the ones inside and the lightning going outside.  Multiple strikes laid on top of one another.  No relief.  Thunder pounded over and over like a drum solo.  It shook the whole building.  Inko ran into the closet away from the window.  She slammed her hands over her eyes but it didn’t help.  Her terrified cried were whispers to the screams of the storm.

A child’s scream.  She heard it. Each flash of light came with a cry. The distinct sound of a little boy calling out in pain blended with unyielding nature.  It came from every direction.  Every hair on Inko’s arms stood up in fear.  She felt the charge in the air.  But she had to go out.  Her baby was crying for help.

She burst from the closet into the living room.  All the lights and appliances turned themselves on and off.  The TV showed only static between its flashes. Something drew her too it.  The storm was deafening.  It pounded through her head like a heartbeat.  The beats got faster.  The static flashes started to look like a face.  Her usual caution was abandoned as she fell to her knees and touched the screen.  The snow cleared for a single instant.  Just long enough to look like the blank eyes from the window.  She felt the heartbeat there too.

Then it stopped.  All of it. The noise and lights all went quiet and dark.  The TV went completely cold in an instant.  Inko, stunned, palmed over it looking for something.  Anything.  The pulse. Warmth.  A burnt fuse or faulty wire.  But nothing.  The rain started again.

She pulled her hands back to her lap.  Her heart was still racing and tears kept flowing down under her chin. She looked around.  Everything in the living room and kitchen looked the same. No sign of the earthquake-like convolutions the whole appartement experienced only minutes ago.  Inko combed the entire space for evidence.  An object knocked off the shelf.  A picture frame fallen from the wall.  The notifications.  Toys in the closet or scuffs in the wall.  Still not a sign.  She even stepped outside her door to check the sky.  Only light rain and shattered thunder, just like the news said the day before.

There was only one thing out of place.  Back in her bedroom, the bottom drawer of her nightstand hung open.  Inko had to steal herself before approaching it. There were only two things in there: a little green blanket, and a picture of the ultrasound.  The most recent one from her last appointment. The doctor said he was doing fine.

“Izuku…” she whispered to it in her hand.

She remembered the squealing little bundling being put in her arms for the first time.  The first time he smiled at her.  Teaching him to walk, then immediately launching into play.  Him coming home with bruises and scrapes after the kids at school were mean to him, and crying in her arms.  Then, him coming home with his first real friends in a long time. She made them all dinner. Katsudon.  That was Izuku’s favorite.

Only she didn’t remember.  The same way she didn’t really remember the toys and scuffs.  Those were fantasies.  Daydreams of what could have been.  She just thought about them so often they felt like memories. Especially today.  It was his birthday after all.  They’d fade back into vague dreams by tomorrow.  They always did.  

And she would be left with reality.  The silence.  The cold, still little hand between her fingers.  Soft cheeks without blush.  Eyes that never opened.  Clutching him too tight to her chest, knowing the second she let go he would be gone for real and it would all be over.  

But it was never over.  Inko went through this same torturous song and dance every year for fifteen now.  All the guilt and dread would subside slowly over the next one, until it all came back at once.  Just like this.

At least it’s done for now, she tried to reassure herself, climbing back into bed. It still wasn’t even noon yet.  Plenty of time for another breakdown.  Hopefully the next one won’t be, feel, as loud.  She sighed heavily into her sheets.  This sort of thing can’t be normal.  I should really try therapy again.

Against her better judgement, she kept the blanket out, and clutched it to her chest.  Static electricity pricked her fingers.  With her other hand, she reached across the bed, and tried to imagine someone else there. Not Hisashi, never him anymore.  Izuku.  He was fifteen and happy, but the storm was making him nervous so he came to lay beside her.  She remembered it like it was now.  If she closed her eyes, she could feel his warm, soft skin, with a healthy, if a little anxious heartbeat just underneath.  The mattress warped as he sighed.

“We’ll be okay.  It’s just a little rough weather,” she promised.

“Okay, Mom,” Izuku answered quietly.  “…  I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  I’ll start trying to get myself together tomorrow.  For now, let me have this.

Izuku didn’t respond for a while.  “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.  Happy birthday.”

[thegalleonsnest]

INTERVIEW CHORDICAL Time to ask the artist questions.

Figured I make the most of my down time due to my tablet going on fritz and ordering a new one, so I went ahead and drew this out in my sketchbook for the authentic journalist sketch style. It probably looks a bit cleaner than the actual style, but only because I was using super light H pencils before outlining.

Anyway, I actually wrote out the interview months ago, but never got around to uploading it, so they’re down here if you wanna read! It’s a bit longer than the average interview, but hey, my oc, I do what I want lol.

Who are you?

My name is Chordical Gallopano. I’m an artist who just graduated, but art’s not exactly at the top of my priority list at the moment.

Why is that? Are you going through an art block?

Eh, kind of? I guess it’s a bit of a small burn out, but I’ve gotten over it for the most part. If anything, I’m taking some time off to focus on myself. I still draw here and there, just not all that often. Mostly been helping Gramble at his barn.

Why come to Snaktooth Island?

Actually, the main reason was because I won a vacation raffle! I never really have faith in those raffles, but I was just like, “eh, screw it,” and gave it a shot. I was slacked jawed when I got the call about it too, hehe.

Wait, Lizbert held a raffle?

Well, yes she did, but my situation’s different. I found out that Lizbert held her own raffle, and Shelda won that one. The raffle I won let me pick a vacation of my choosing, as long as it was within the country; and then I remembered hearing about Lizbert’s trip to Snaktooth. Honestly, I didn’t care what grumps were saying about Lizbert and her Bugsnax discovery being real or not. It gave me a reason to go with her on her expedition. Thank grump that Lizbert wasn’t super finicky with external raffles and let me come anyway!

So was there any other reason you picked Snaktooth?

Erm...um...The best way that I could put it is that...I needed to get away. I needed a break from some stuff. I...rather not talk about it, at least not on the record. I would appreciate that.

Thoughts on Bugsnax?

Gonna be real, I’m not that into them like the rest of the guys here. They’re more annoying to deal with...and they’re a bit unnerving.

What’s wrong with them? Don’t you eat them too?

I mean, yes, I do, but only when I really have to. I’m pretty sure you noticed but uh, I rather not be stuck with nubs for paws for a week. I can’t draw without my fingies, and sketch paper isn’t exactly built for bacon grease media. There’s a couple of bugsnax that give me claws or something to work with, but even still, I prefer my fuzzy paws instead of cheepoof dust.

What exactly makes them “unnerving” to you?

It’s...hard to pinpoint why, but something about them rubs me the wrong way. I mean, they only exist on this island, apparently, and they turn your arms and legs into food. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I would be one of those Grumpuses to yell “HOORAY” for having a weenie arm...At least they’re kind of cute as pets I guess.

Why did you leave town?

Honestly, the entire fight between Gramble and Wambus was something that hit its boiling point after being at each other’s throats for a while. They would constantly be fighting and bickering because of petty crap, and they wouldn’t settle things like adults! I had no choice but to basically be the mediator between them for months. It sucks. Even though I’m friends with both of them, I had to go with Gramble and help him.

What were they fighting about exactly?

If you’ve talked to Gramble already, he was right about one thing: Wambus broke into his barn and started snaknapping his little buddies. I actually SAW it happen too! Lizbert was only gone for a day; I get that we gotta eat, but what Wambus did was downright dirty. I just wish that they could just TALK about it instead of baring their fangs all the time. Otherwise, I don’t think we would have been in this mess to begin with.

Why did you go with Gramble and not Wambus?

Listen, Wambus is an older farmer grumpus, he can take care of himself. We’re still on good terms, but whatever beef he’s got with Gramble is between them. I’m just trying to mediate as best I can. I had to go help Gramble because have you SEEN the poor guy? He’s a wreck with how little sleep he gets! Not to mention he’s barely eating anything other than sauce and whatever science experiment Shelda had cooking up at the time! I’ve been helping out at his barn since almost the start, and I care about him...someone has to look after him.

Any info on Lizbert?

Lizbert is pretty cool, not gonna lie. I actually asked her if she needed any help documenting any of the Bugsnax and she’d let me go out with her and do live studies of them. I drew a good chunk of the bugsnax in her notes and helped keep them organized. For who she is, she is really encouraging and friendly. She would honestly be a good big sister if you let her, heh! She kept everyone fed from her hunts, but I don’t think she was keeping up with everyone. Like, socially, I mean.

Did she ever talk to the other Grumpuses?

Of course she did, but I don’t think she was really paying enough attention. It’s one thing to be a leader, but it’s another to actually listen to someone’s problems. I know she really cared about her partner, Eggabell, but I could tell she was a major priority most of the time. I think it’s because she spent more time hunting than actually being in town most of the time. If she had a break and someone else took over the hunting, I could see her spending time with the other Grumpuses, but as it stood, no one was willing to take her place. That’s probably why she did it anyway, in case they disappeared like she and Eggabell did.

Do you know what happened to Lizbert and Eggabell?

I wish I knew. The only thing I do know is that we were supposed to go to the mountains to document a few more Bugsnax and study some weird structures, but she ended up taking Eggabell instead. I know they had a falling out a few days beforehand, so maybe Lizbert decided that it would have been better if it was just the two of them so they could sort out their issues. But then that earthquake hit not too long after...Grump I hope they’re ok.

Thanks, Chordical. This was all very informative.

Hey, I’m glad I could give ya something to work with! If you ever need someone to talk to or just chill with for a bit, I’ll be hanging at Gramble’s. Bet we could compare some art notes while we’re at it!

[thrillridesz]

walkin’ in time ▫ sangyeon

➳ pairing: single dad!sangyeon x female kindergarten teacher!reader

➳ genre: fluff, angst, single dad!au, kindergarten teacher!au

➳ warnings: mentions of divorce

➳ word count: 11.6k

➳ fic playlist: walkin’ in time - the boyz | run away - txt | memories - sabai | full of life - fairlane | 8 letters - why don’t we | this feeling - the chainsmokers ft. kelsea ballerini | red - taylor swift

➳ special thanks: @fullsunsays​​ for helping me to proofread and offering her invaluable opinions when this fic was still halfway done + @ateez-little-star​​ who i have cameoed in this fic for being such a sweet mutual and a lovely friend of mine here on tumblr!

a/n : only semi edited!

“Goodbye, Miss y/n!”

You flashed Sungchan a warm smile despite the tired look in your eyes and your less-than-presentable appearance with your messy, tousled hair and paint splattered clothes from a long day at the kindergarten. The boy flashed a toothy grin at you as he held onto his mother’s hand, tottering away cheerfully and at the corner of your eye, you caught Chanhee looking at you with admiration in his expression.

“Wow, the kids sure do like you a lot. Much more than the rest of us for sure.”

You felt your cheeks grow hot at the compliment as you lowered your head shyly. You are not one to be used to receiving compliments but ever since you started your job here at Sunny Hearts Kindergarten, it seemed as if everyone had nothing but praise for your performance - both parents, fellow teachers and students alike. Since you were a high schooler, you had always known that you loved working with children. There was just something about the little ones with their bright smiles and lively mannerisms that warmed your heart. To be able to be in a job that allowed you to light up the lives of the future generation and possibly make an everlasting impact in their educational journey, it all felt extremely exciting to you.  

“Thanks, Chanhee.” You said softly, a sweet smile gracing your face. Just then, you became briefly aware of a presence lingering behind you and you swivelled around to see Jeno, a doe-eyed boy from your art class. Instantly, you could tell that there was something wrong. His eyes were red and you could tell that the polo tee he wore was tear-stained and you could vaguely hear light sniffling from him. He tugged nervously at your skirt and you knelt down until you were level with him.

“Hey buddy, why are you crying?” You asked in a concerned voice, ruffling his soft hair lightly.

He lifted his head tentatively, peering at you from beneath his eyelashes where a stray teardrop hung and you very gently rubbed it away as he remained silent as though he was too shy or upset to speak. Looking around, Jeno’s eyes swept the room and you realised what was going on. The lobby was almost empty by now with all the cubicles for the children’s bags all emptied and shoes from the shoe cabinet all gone. The sky was darkening with every second as a low, eerie rumbling sound came with a looming patch of dark clouds. The familiar sounds of chatters and laughter had completely disappeared by now only to be replaced by a lonely, deafening silence. With a backpack that was clearly too large for him, Jeno’s shoulders were slumped over and his expression drooped sadly, causing your heart to ache for him.

“It’s ok, your daddy will be here really soon! He’s probably just busy but he’ll be here.” You coaxed, holding and rubbing his tiny hands in yours and feeling the tension dissipate slightly from his being.

Beside you, Chanhee shook his head in disapproval, tutting.

“The man is always late.”

You didn’t say anything in return as you bite down on your lower lip, unsure of what to say. You knew that Jeno’s father was a busy man and the times you had actually been able to meet him in person, he looked exactly like a man overworked in his office job. Lee Sangyeon was almost always late to any parent teacher meeting or closing time, sometimes even entirely failing to show up as evident from the times when Jeno’s grandmother showed up instead. The few times you had seen him, he had bags under his eyes and had an unkempt appearance with a mangled tie and wrinkled office shirt almost every single time. As a single father, it was obvious to everyone how hard he worked just by the way he looked so deeply exhausted yet so alert for the next call from his office. There had been quite a number of times when Sangyeon had had to excuse himself just to take a call in the middle of fetching Jeno.

Although you try to keep your work separate from your personal feelings, you had to admit that many times, you had felt your heart beat just a tad too quickly whenever you did see Sangyeon. From the way his smile would grow wider and the way his eyes lit up whenever he came to pick up his son on the few occasions he did, anyone could tell he loved and adored his son very much. It was the sort of look you saw on a man that would do simply anything for his child. With his dashing good looks and the air of a mature, responsible working man, Sangyeon was also quite easily sometimes the subject of gossip among the mothers though he did not seem to have noticed it.  You didn’t blame them, you too found him deeply attractive. If anything, the years did a good number on him.

You swallowed thickly.

You never told anyone at work about this but you had known Sangyeon back in high school when he was a senior and you, a freshman. Even back then, he had his good looks and was easily one of the most popular boys in school with his exceptional talent in the sport of volleyball and stellar grades. In a way, he felt almost untouchable and so deeply out of reach to everyone besides his own group of friends. That cheerful smile of his would light up any classroom and field he walked into and both the student body and teaching staff alike adored him for him. The boys used to want to hang out with him while the girls used to send him love letters every other day. You on the hand, kept mostly to yourself. With very little friends, life in high school was quiet and uneventful yet you would never forget the way Sangyeon made you feel. He was after all your very first love… As much as you hated to admit it.

You gritted your teeth at the memory. No, it won’t do to bring up past grievances.

All you could be thankful for was that since Sangyeon was a couple years older than you were, it meant that he had graduated earlier than you did. Not seeing his face around school was probably the better part of your high school years. With how busy school was, it wasn’t very long before you found yourself pushing him out of your mind but somehow at the back of your mind, you knew he always did claim a part of your heart for himself… Even as those memories continued to linger as well.

So imagine your shock when you first saw him a little over a year ago at the gates of the kindergarten you worked at. It felt weird seeing him again but at the same time, you could stop the warm, soft feeling of excitement coursing through your veins. It was like clockwork, the same sensations you felt all those years ago coming back - the fast pounding of your heart and the growing heat in your cheeks. Yet right after, there was that sense of dread that came back stronger than ever, sort of like a bad aftertaste. With the good memories, also came the bad memories from back then and just seeing him in the flesh after so many years was enough to break open the dam and allow these memories to come rushing back. Tried as you might to block them out, it wasn’t easy but you managed to keep your personal feelings at bay.

When you found out later that he was divorced, you couldn’t help but feel a jolt of happiness in you which you quickly stifled, shocked at yourself. Somehow it felt wrong to still harbour feelings for him but you tried your best to convince yourself that those were just because of your memories from high school. You probably don’t actually still have feelings for him… Or do you?

Shaking your head, you decided you weren’t going to think about it despite the growing anticipation in your heart as you turned your attention back to little Jeno. It wasn’t like Sangyeon remembered you anyways - He didn’t mention a single thing when the two of you met.

Quickly, you reached into your back pocket and drew out a toffee candy. You always had some at hand, both as a snack and for cheering up the children whenever they were upset. It worked almost instantaneously and you watched as Jeno lit up, his cheeks turning rosier by the second as he smiled brightly at you before grabbing the sweet. Maybe it wasn’t really a good thing, to always cheer your students up with sweets since it could cause cavities but you knew Jeno loved them and he looked so sad that you just couldn’t bear to leave him be.

“Hey, y/n?”

“Yeah?” You turned to Chanhee and immediately frowned when you saw the expression on his face. “What is it?”

Chanhee shuffled uncomfortably on his feet, his hands fiddling with the keys as he cast you a sheepish look. In his other hand, he held his phone and as he waved it awkwardly at you, you could only sigh in resignation.

“Your wife?”

Chanhee’s face grew slightly pink as he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, his eyes looking everywhere but you.

“Y-yeah… Duty calls. She’s forgotten her keys again so I have to go home and open it for her.”

You peered outside at the darkening sky and little Jeno perched comfortably on the stool, sucking lightly at the toffee sweet in his mouth as he watched with a child-like interest at an ant trailing across the floor. Glancing at the clock, you decided maybe this week’s episode of ‘The Stealer House’ (which was your all time favourite show) could wait. After all, you could always ask for updates from your best friend, Jasmine.

“Alright. Go on, I’ll lock up.” You smiled, extending your hand.

“Thanks, y/n! You’re a lifesaver! Coffee. On me. Tomorrow. I’ll see you!” Chanhee said gratefully, slinging on his messenger bag before making a beeline for his car.

As Chanhee drove off, you and Jeno could only sit and watch as the first drops of the evening rain began to fall upon the earth in soft pattering sounds. You sighed deeply. The rainy season was here. Over the past few weeks, there have been downpours after downpours. At first, they happened on alternate days before it became more and more frequent. It had rained earlier this morning but it seemed as if it might start again any time soon.

A short moment of silence befell as you simply sat next to Jeno, who fiddled with his tiny fingers as his legs dangled above the ground from the stool.

“Well, would you like to do anything before your daddy comes?” You asked good-naturedly, peering down at him.

Jeno turned to look at you, his eyes big and bright.

“More candy!”

You chuckled softly, shaking your head.

“Too much candy isn’t good for you, Jeno. Plus, your daddy will get upset if you get a toothache because of it.”

Jeno pouted, huffing a little as he turned away, swinging his legs.

“I wish I could eat as much candy as I want without getting a toothache.” He murmured petulantly.

“Same, Jeno. Same here.” You smiled before a sharp knock on the door caused the two of you to look up.

Sangyeon was standing outside, absolutely drenched from head to toe, his hair clinging onto his face and neck in wet strands. The white collared office shirt he wore was absolutely soaked and clung on uncomfortably to his skin, the rainwater still dripping from the ends of his hair and clothes. His hand which held his briefcase was shaking and you could see his chest heaving up and down as he trembled ever so slightly from the cold.

“I’m… I’m here.” He panted, his voice shaking as the chilly wind bit harshly through his freezing skin and into his bones.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, eyes wide with alarm as you rushed over and immediately opened the door. Upon entering, Sangyeon collapsed in the tiny stool which was sitting by the door, the wooden material creaking slightly under his full weight. His face was pale and you could tell that he had ran the entire way here under the unforgiving, violent storm outside. Quickly, you hurried into the locker room, throwing open the towel cupboards.  Frowning, you rummaged through the piles of fabric until you found one large enough for him. Rushing back, you handed Sangyeon the towel, which he accepted gratefully through chattering teeth. Amidst the commotion, Jeno could only sit and stare blankly at his father.

“D- Daddy?” He said, confusion in his expression. Jeno had never seen his father in such a bad state before even when he was really sick so this was all very worrying for the little boy.

“Hey, l- l- little guy. Sorry… Daddy… W- was a little l-l- late.” Sangyeon stuttered, still reeling from the cold but trying to keep up a strong front as he plastered on a weak smile.

“Do you need something hot to drink?” You asked, concerned. Your heart skipped a beat as Sangyeon looked up at you, his eyes dark yet unintentionally intense. He smiled softly at you despite the cold that racked his body.

“T-That will n-not be necessary. I j-j- just need to s-sit for a m-moment,” he said before continuing, “D- Do you mind?”

“No, I don’t. Please take all the time you need. The storm out there is insane, I’m sorry you had to go through that. I noticed you didn’t drive over today?”

Sangyeon shook his head, looking down.

“Some people borrowed our car! Daddy said they will return it to us soon.” Jeno piped up, a huge smile on his face as though announcing an exciting piece of news. “They had a really cool robot like a fishing rod-”

“Jeno!” Sangyeon scolded and the colour on his cheek returned. Jeno stopped mid sentence, his face crumpling ever so slightly. You looked on, flustered.

“It’s fine! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.  I um… I’ll get you a mug of hot tea anyways, it helps with the cold.” You said, waving your hands in front of you frantically before running off to the kitchen.

As you waited for the kettle to reach a boil, you found your mind drifting to what happened earlier. Did their car get towed? Why? Sangyeon didn’t seem too happy when Jeno mentioned it… Was it because they could no longer afford it? The loud squeaking of the kettle shook you from your reverie and you hurriedly prepared the tea.

“Thanks.” Sangyeon mumbled, receiving the mug with both hands. He looked considerably better than he did earlier, having stopped shivering and the colour returning to his face and hands. You couldn’t help but realise how large his hands were as you handed him the mug of hot tea and when his finger lightly grazed against yours, you almost withdrew instantly which would have sent the mug crashing. Handing Jeno a small packet of banana milk, you sat opposite the father-son duo and stared out at the rain which hadn’t eased up at all. At this rate, neither of you would be able to go home. The wind outside was so strong that the trees looked dangerously close to snapping and the number of times a flash of lightning zapped across the sky was terrifying.

You turned to look at the clock.

7:06pm.

Usually, you would have been on the way home if not for the rain. You were so transfixed at the clock that you failed to notice Sangyeon staring at you.

“Do you have to be somewhere?”

You jumped, looking a little frazzled, not expecting him to strike up a conversation at all.

“Um, no. I don’t.” You forced a smile despite your nerves which were kicking in.

“Oh.” He said quietly as he took another tentative sip of his tea.

“How’s the tea?” You smiled, lacing your fingers together. The awkwardness in the room was almost suffocating and you would have given anything to get yourself out of this situation. It didn’t help that you found the man sitting across from you so deeply and hauntingly attractive even if he looked as if he just went through some sort of hell with his scruffy appearance. The all too familiar melty sensation from high school was coming back and you had to hold yourself back from relieving those teenage girl tendencies.

Get a grip, y/n.

“It’s pretty good. You make really nice tea.” He smiled, his eyes crinkling into crescents and you felt your chest tighten.

“Doesn’t look like the rain is going to stop soon.”

The carpark lot outside was practically mildly flooded with rainwater while dark clouds continued to loom over the earth outside. It would be impossible to venture outside without getting completely soaked even if one had an umbrella or raincoat on. The nearest bus stop and subway station was about a good 20 minute walk away and that was on an ordinary day. With the rain outside coming down so relentlessly, it would likely take more than 45 minutes.

“Yeah… If only I had a car.” You said, only to immediately regret it. Sangyeon’s eyes darkened and he sank into his seat.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, please don’t apologise.” He replied in a kind manner, though he wouldn't meet your eyes out of embarrassment. “We… Couldn’t afford it anymore. You know… The um, road taxes are getting pricier and pricier. If only I still had the car, I could have sent you home. Instead, you’re stuck here with me and Jeno. I’m sorry for coming so late, I should have planned my time better...”

“Ah, please do not apologise! It’s ok, I understand it completely!” You spluttered, feeling anxious. It was odd to see him so down and come to think of it, it was probably the most emotion and actual conversation you had gotten out of him since the first time you’d seen him again here at the kindergarten. Even then, it wasn’t the kind of emotion or type of conversation you had envisioned having with him and you disliked seeing him like this. In a way, it also struck you that the Sangyeon that was sitting in front of you was different from the one you knew back in high school.

The Sangyeon now seemed much more guarded, defensive yet weirdly… Mature. It was like he grew up and experienced so much more of adulthood than most would at his age. At 28, many guys his age would still be enjoying the remaining years of their supposed youthful years - going to clubs, travelling with friends and going on dating sprees. Yet here he was, having married young, had a son and then divorced all before he even hit 30. It was definitely surprising to know that this was the very same guy that everyone in high school thought had it all going for him. As the school’s star volleyball player and captain of the school team when you both were still students, most were willing to bet that he would be signed by a major sports league of sorts but it never happened. Instead, he went to university to study accountancy and met his now ex-wife which he had clearly divorced. The Sangyeon in high school was exuberant, outgoing and full of life. You distinctively remembered how the two of you had crossed paths the very first time in school.

“Can’t we just go another time?” You whined to your best friend, Jasmine who dragged you by the wrist down the corridor.

Swivelling around to look at you with an indignant expression on her face, Jasmine rolled her eyes before smirking. Her hair flowed gracefully behind her as the two of you glided down the hallways, much to the confusion of some who watched the two of you pass.

“Nope. You won’t regret this, trust me.” She winked.

“What about volleyball could possibly be more interesting than watching my favourite twitch streamers play Minecraft and Pokémon, the two greatest games ever created?”

Jasmine stopped short, her mouth hanging open.

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” You replied huffily. “If you don’t mind, I’m going back to my laptop.”

“Oh no, you’re not. You’re a teenage girl. It’s not everyday you get to live your teenage years so you’re coming with me!” She snapped, grabbing you and running down the stairs. You tried to keep pace with her, your feet moving quickly in line with hers so you wouldn’t fall and break your neck or something. Sometimes, you forgot how unfit you were as you struggled to catch your breath. Maybe it was time to stop bingeing YouTube and those delicious chocolate bars you have stashed under your bed so your mother wouldn’t find them.

As you guys entered the volleyball court, you could see crowds of students from all grades cheering from the bleachers, some with banners in their hands and others with inflatable plastic sticks and their phones to document the ongoing match. It was the start of the sports season in schools and on this particular afternoon, the volleyball team was supposed to have their very first preliminary match against another school from downtown. The atmosphere was chaotic with the sound screaming and cheering almost deafening you. The thumping of trainers against the waxed wooden floor was irritating your ears and the huge scoreboard on the wall above felt intimidating with its large flashing red numbers counting down the match. The players in the court were so involved in their game that not once did any of them look up to check the timing, their eyes all firmly trained on the ball as they hurried to serve. Nobody seemed to notice you and Jasmine either as the two of you took your places at the side of bleachers.

Everything was moving so quickly that you didn’t even know what was going on exactly. To be honest, you didn’t have a clue which team you were supposed to root for either. Are the guys wearing the white jersey shirts the ones from the school’s volleyball team? Or was it the ones in red and black? It was all very confusing. Nevertheless, it took almost no time for you to get bored out of your mind. Your head was pounding from the loud noises that surrounded you and you wanted so desperately to go back to the tranquility of your homeroom. You didn’t understand volleyball either which meant that nothing really made sense to you.

Looking at Jasmine, you could see that she was engrossed in the game. Following her eyes, you held back a chuckle at you realised who she had her sights on. Of course, it was Younghoon. You must have heard her gush over the volleyball team’s vice captain over a million times by now. Even as someone who abhorred sports and never kept up with the sports news in school, you knew Younghoon simply because of how many times she had talked about him. You could understand why she would though. There was no denying that he was an attractive guy, with shiny raven hair and a firm stance that exuded coolness. However, you had other things on your mind. Like Minecraft… And Pokémon.

Quietly, you inched away, careful not to alert her. You were so close to the double doors when you suddenly felt an ominous feeling strike you. It took you a split second to turn around and see a ball hurtling towards you at about a million miles per hour.

THUMP!

You felt yourself fall down onto the floor, your head throbbing. Your vision was blurring up and you could feel the dizziness set in as the court gasped collectively. You felt your cheeks heating up. How embarrassing! You could vaguely hear a woman (most likely a medic) ask you how you were feeling but you couldn’t get yourself to focus. All you wanted to do was get up and remove yourself from this humiliating situation.

“I am so sorry, are you okay?”

Suddenly, you became briefly aware of a strong, rough hand gripping onto your forearm firmly but gently. The touch felt soothing and it sent a jolt of electricity down your spine and immediately you snapped your head to look up at the owner of the voice. What you saw, made the words at the back of your throat hitch.

Never in your life have you ever come face to face with such a handsome face. His coffee brown hair cascaded in soft locks over his dark eyes and as he knelt down to help you, you felt your breath hitch. Was it even possible for a guy’s lips to look that… Soft? The red and black jersey fit him perfectly and the sleeveless cutting brought out the muscle definition of his arms and you could feel yourself getting shy. It wasn’t long before mortification set in. You must look like a complete idiot in front of him!

Instantly, you reeled back as if burned, withdrawing your hand away from him. He stiffened, his eyes widening in surprise. The medic tutted, shaking her head at Sangyeon.

“She needs space. I’ll take care of her, you go and play your match, be more careful while you’re at it!” She snapped and Sangyeon took a tentative step back, a sheepish expression on his face and uncertainty in those dark eyes. You could sense the hesitation as he debilitated whether to help or not.

“Hey, Lee Sangyeon! Get back in there! The girl will be fine!” A portly man screamed at him from the sidelines, most likely his coach.

“Sangyeon.” You mumbled his name under his breath. You had heard his name only in passing, sometimes Jasmine would go on about the volleyball team and at times, you’d heard her mention that very name. This guy was the volleyball team’s captain?

Sangyeon turned back to you, an uncomfortable look on his face as he mouthed the words ‘I’m sorry’ before bolting back into the court and to his teammates who patted him reassuringly on the back and casted you looks of guilt.

“Oh my god, y/n! Are you feeling alright?” Jasmine hurried over, her brows furrowing together with worry.

“Y-yeah… I’m good.” You could only reply dumbly, your sights still fixed on the boy who had most certainly captured your heart for his own.

Ever since that day, you remembered how you would always run down to the volleyball court with Jasmine even without her asking. It was real funny how just a single gaze could have you so smitten with someone. When you did see him playing, you would try to make yourself comfortable at the bleachers, trying not to look too conspicuous. In the hallways, you would run the other way whenever you saw him but peek around the corner just to catch a glimpse. It was all a very new feeling to you, the exhilaration and nervousness you would feel whenever you saw him around school. Sure, you still loved Minecraft and Pokémon but there was something about Sangyeon that made you feel some type of way. It was like the warm feeling in your chest you’d get on a cold, winter morning when you sit by a fireplace with a mug of hot chocolate in your hands. It was like the feeling of momentary happiness you would get when you win a prize at the claw machine. It was like the slight tingle you would get when you experience static.

It was your first love.

Maybe it was love at first sight then. Cupid had finally pulled its arrow on you. Suddenly, it seemed as though everything about Sangyeon was interesting to you. You would perk up whenever you heard his name in a conversation and when you saw him, you couldn’t even hide the bashfulness in your expression. Smart and caring, he was perfect. Many people seemed to have thought the same, what with his insane popularity in school. He was always surrounded by people that it made it difficult for people like you to even get close or attempt to befriend him.

“...Y/n? Are you alright?”

You snapped out of your thoughts as Sangyeon waved a hand in front of you, trying to get your attention.

“Sorry! What were you saying?” You asked, embarrassed at having gone off on a daze like that. Sangyeon regarded you with curiosity, a little unsure of what to make of you.

“Um, nothing much. You just stared off into space.” He said slowly. Beside him, Jeno was fast asleep with his mouth slightly ajar and a bit of drool leaking from his lips to his shirt.

“Oh, he’s asleep!”

Hurriedly, you took off the cardigan you were wearing and placed it gently over the boy’s sleeping form. There was an unexplainable look in Sangyeon’s eyes as you did but he remained silent.

“I… Sorry, I guess I’ve just been thinking about some stuff.” You smiled, feeling the nerves kicking in. Sangyeon raised an eyebrow, holding the hot mug of tea closer to himself. The rain outside was still as violent as ever and it didn’t look as if it would be easing up anytime soon. A beam tugged at the corner of his lips.

“Well, would you like to talk about it?”

Looking at that smile that made your heart flutter, it was almost laughable how he had almost no idea the effect he was having on you. Quite honestly, you surprised yourself with all these emotions that were now bubbling up once again. In a way, you didn’t think you still had it in you but your crush on Sangyeon even from all those years ago must have had a huge impact on you. Your heart was picking up its pace and if you weren’t careful, he might be able to hear it. Sensing your apprehension, his smile dropped.

“Sorry, I must have crossed the line. I was just trying to make conversation.”

“Ah, no. You haven’t. I just… It’s something very personal to me.” You mumbled under your breath and Sangyeon nodded weakly.

“I understand.”

At that moment, he let out a large sneeze and very nearly tipped the tea he had in the mug. His nose was becoming redder by the minute and it was clear that he was close to catching a cold.

“Are you alright?” You asked, reaching forward and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Sangyeon waved his hand, looking slightly embarrassed.

“I’ll be fine.”

It was at that moment the both of you became aware of your hand on his shoulder and just how close your proximity was. Your hair was just brushing against his face and your lips were mere inches away. His eyes seemed to hold entire galaxies, bright and luminous as they were, especially so under the dim lighting while the storm raged outside.

Quickly, you leaped back and he cleared his throat awkwardly, his eyes looking everywhere but you. You could feel the heat rapidly rising up to your cheeks and you could feel your words getting stuck at the back of your throat, unsure of what to say. That was when you noticed that the office shirt Sangyeon was wearing was still sticking uncomfortably to him, the wet and cold fabric causing him to shiver ever so slightly. You briefly remembered Chanhee stocking up some extra shirts, towels and slacks for the staff just the other day when a painting class went out of hand.

‘For convenience’s sake’, he had said when questioned. At that time, you had laughed at him for being too cautious and overreacting. To think they could actually come in handy now was extremely ironic, though it might not have been for the situation you had in mind.

“We have some extra shirts and pants in the storeroom if you need. The shower is just right there.” You said softly, still feeling a little rattled from what happened earlier.

Snapping his head up, Sangyeon wrinkled his nose.

“You have extra shirts and pants here? Of my size?”

“Um yeah, one of the teachers thought to buy some cheap ones when we had an unfortunate painting incident  the other day. We had a bit of a paint fight in the nursery classroom,” you said, laughing a little just at the memory of what happened.

Sangyeon smiled warmly, the amusement shining in his eyes.

“That must have been some paint fight.”

“It was!” You bobbed your head up and down. “Wild.”

“You sure it’s not a problem for me to just use the shower?” He asked, a little hesitant.

“Not at all!”

As he stood up, you couldn’t help but notice that he towered over you. Sure, he had always towered over you but it still felt so nerve wracking to have him standing before you like that with his wet hair slicked back and the white shirt clinging onto his body. You tried to keep your sights trained firmly on the ground, trying your best not to look as you led the way. The feeling of him just trailing behind you sent shivers down your spine that had nothing to do with the cold. Yet somehow despite the fact that it got your heart doing some pretty intense backflips, his presence was also weirdly... comforting.

The tantalising aroma of convenience store fried chicken and corn dogs hung in the air as you stepped in, pulling the hood of your jacket furtively over your head, your eyes scanning the area. The snacks were displayed beautifully on the metal racks and the frosty machine whirred softly in the background over the melody of the then trending pop song played on the radio but you had no eyes for it. Pulling your jacket over your body to conceal your uniform, the tension in you only dissipated when you found no one but the bored cashier standing by the cash register who was too busy filing her nails to even care that you stepped in.

Had you found a teacher in here, you would have been toast. Walking idly down the racks of delectable snacks, you could barely hide your glee as you took in the vast variety of junk food in front of you. Barbeque chips, white chocolate biscuits, animal shaped gummy candies… It was heaven on earth. You scrunched up your nose as you thought of the standard fare probably being served back at the school canteen. No doubt, it was probably the same old stale carbonara pasta and salad made from withered up lettuce and soft tomatoes. Just the thought of it was enough to strike disgust in your heart. Rounding the corner, you almost jumped at the sight of a group of boys seated at the far corner of the store. It took you about a second to realise that they weren’t teachers but rather fellow rulebreakers from school and relaxed.

It must be nice to have a group of friends to do such lawless things together. Jasmine would always chastise you for leaving, refusing to come with you. Easy for her to say, she always had such beautiful packed lunches from home. You, on the other, had only your own allowance to rely on and there was no way you were going to spend it on the food offered in the school’s cafeteria.

You were so engrossed in the selection of snacks before you that you failed to even notice the overlooming dark clouds outside and the light, methodic pattering sound of tiny raindrops against the glass windows. As you stood before a choice of either a ham and cheese sandwich or turkey sandwich, you wondered if you brought enough money. Whipping out your purse, you did a quick check only to cry out.

Pouring out a few pennies onto your palm, you could feel your heart crumpling. How could you have forgotten to bring money of all things? Your stomach growled audibly and you whimpered, feeling like you were about to cry. Grazing your fingers over the wrapped sandwiches longingly, you started to make your way out of the store, dragging your feet as you did. Looks like it’s back to measly school meals.

Yet as you opened the door only to be greeted by a now heavy downpour, the urge to curse out loud had never been stronger. You had completely forgotten that it was now the rainy season. Now, you were not only going to be hungry but also cold at the same time. How did things turn out so badly?  Turning back to look at the cashier who didn’t even glance up, you decided there was no right way about it. Your choices were either to brave the rain or be late for classes.

As you stood despondently staring at the rain and reflecting on your life choices, the group of boys from earlier stumbled out of the store, laughing as they did.

“I’ve honestly never seen him like that!”

“It’s definitely something new. Oh hey, it’s raining guys.”

“Wow, it happened so suddenly though. Just a moment ago, it was fine.”

Glancing at them, you felt yourself subconsciously inching away. You never were very good with people, especially boys. To say it felt awkward was an understatement. It was embarrassing as well, knowing that you’ve made an empty trip and got caught in the rain. There was no way they’d know what happened but it didn’t stop you from feeling self conscious about it.

“Well, I think I’m gonna make a run for it! Last one back to school pays for lunch tomorrow!” One of them called out, dashing out into the rain.

“Hak, what the fuck!” Another yelled before the rest of them set off, their shoes splashing against puddles as they did. Some of the rainwater splashed over onto your own shoes and you gritted your teeth but said nothing.

There was the tinkling sound of the convenience store’s door charm as the door swung open.

“Hey guys, I- Oh, hell no. They did not just do that to me.” Someone said breathlessly  from behind you.

You froze. That voice…

Turning around slowly, you found yourself staring at the one and only, Lee Sangyeon. Instantly, your cheeks began to burn and your heartbeat began to pick up its pace. Of all places and of all people, why him?! Looking away quickly, you tried to calm yourself down. It’s a mere coincidence, maybe if you don’t say anything he won’t-

“Um, hello?”

This cannot be happening.

You swivelled around to look at him as you tried to calm your beating heart and as you did, you could feel that warm feeling you felt ever so often whenever you saw him around school despite your nervousness. With him just right in front of you, it all felt extremely nerve wracking. What do you even say?

“H-Hi?”

“Did you happen to see a group of guys out here?”

“I…” You thought of what had happened earlier. “Um, yeah. They just left though…”

Sangyeon sighed, looking resigned. Keeping his head down, you thought you saw a tint of pinkness in his cheeks before he snapped his head up, his hands planted firmly on his hips as he stared at the torrential downpour. Shooting him furtive glances, you noticed that he had nothing on him either.

“Do you not have an umbrella too?” You asked tentatively.

“...Yeah, I don’t.” He said sheepishly. There was a moment of brief silence where neither of you uttered a single word. Checking his watch, Sangyeon clicked his tongue.

“What is it?”

“It’s 1:15pm, time’s almost up.” He replied, holding up his wrist to show you the time. The butterflies in your stomach disappeared instantly only to be replaced by an uncomfortable gut wrenching feeling instead. You couldn’t afford to be late! You have a math quiz right after lunch! You were already barely scraping by Mr Moon’s class and if you flunk or god forbid, miss the test entirely, it would be a guaranteed fail for the class which would mean that you would have to retake it next semester.

Sangyeon must have noticed the sickly palour on your face and the sheer fear in your eyes because his voice had taken on a gentle tone as he asked, “Do you have something urgent to get to?”

Nothing could have hidden the anxiety and shakiness in your voice as you replied, “I have a math quiz at 1:30pm.”

For a moment, Sangyeon didn’t say anything. Then, he took off the jacket he was wearing and in an instance, he had draped the jacket over your head. Surprised, you looked up at him. He wore a warm smile on his face as he said, “Ready to run when you are.”

“But..! You-”

“I’ll be fine.” He stared out at the pouring rain. “Well, a little rain won’t hurt.”

You could have thought of about a billion different ways to reject him but the fear over missing your math quiz quickly overwhelmed all those thoughts and you had no choice but to dumbly agree. You didn’t like inconveniencing people, especially not Sangyeon but there just wasn’t any good way to turn him down, not when he was looking at you so kindly and so expectantly at that. Sangyeon must have sensed your hesitation because he shot you a reassuring look.

“I’ll be fine.” He reiterated, smiling.

You didn’t say anything but you could feel a sense of warmth growing in your heart despite the cold outside. Somehow, his voice had a calming effect on you and you began to break into a run. He followed suit, the both of you dashing out into the rain with you shielded under his jacket.

While the two of you ran, you couldn’t help but sneak a few looks at him, feeling the butterflies in your stomach flutter more whenever you did. His side profile highlighted his strong, handsome features and the shadows brought out the definition of jawline and darkness of his eyes. The rainwater gave his skin an almost shining look, water droplets dripping from the tips of his fringe. The water had seeped through the white material of his uniform and the fabric stuck his skin, bringing out his athletic shape. He looked almost as handsome as he did the first time you saw him, that one memorable moment despite the hard hit on your head.

As you stared, he suddenly turned to look at you and for a split second, the two of you made eye contact before you turned away rapidly, your cheeks burning. Why is it that you feel so warm even when it was freezing? Your heart felt like it was about to burst and for a moment, you wondered if he could tell you had feelings for him. Did he remember you? He must have. You don’t just give your jacket to someone… Right? Perhaps it was his way of apologising for the hit though to be quite honest, having him talk to you seemed like enough already. You never were very lucky in love or around your crushes and many times, you would have never exchanged even a single word with your crush out of shyness and fear. This was probably the furthest you’ve ever gotten with someone you liked.

As the two of you finally stepped into the school lobby, Sangyeon was soaked through, the water droplets still dripping down the side of his face. Shaking his head to get the water out, he ran a hand through his hair and you tried not to look. He shot you a grin which you returned.

“Hey, it’s only 1:24pm. We made it.”

“We did, thank you so much for that.” You thanked him shyly to which he brushed off, chuckling.

“It’s alright. No problem at all.”

‘I… I guess I’ll get going?”

“Ah, alright. I’ll see you, y/n.” He smiled before he gasped, suddenly remembering something as he ruffled through his pockets. Drawing out a chocolate bar, he handed it to you. You stared at his outstretched hand, confused.

“Take it.”

“Why?”

“I saw- I have an extra one and I’m not exactly allowed to eat chocolate right now because of competition season. I thought you might want it?”

When you didn’t say anything, he continued quickly, “I mean, that is if you want it of course.”

You could feel your stomach growling just looking at that sweet, heavenly bar of chocolatey goodness and it suddenly came to you that you have not had lunch. Normally, you would have flat out rejected an offer like that but the way he was looking at you with those kindly eyes made you think twice. There was no way you could say no to Sangyeon.

“Thank you.” You mumbled, taking the chocolate bar from him and his smile widened.

“By the way, I-”

Before he could say another word, the same group of boys who you had identified to be his friends came from behind the lockers several aisles down. Some of them were laughing as one of them slapped him across the back. They seem

“You’re finally back!” An upperclassmen you recognised as the school’s baseball team’s pitcher, Changmin said, patting him on the back. “See, guys? I told you guys he’s going to go for it. He’s not as big as a coward you guys think he is!”

“Fine, fine. Take your bet.” Another who you knew was referred to earlier as ‘Hak’, grumbling and slapping a wad of notes into Changmin’s hand.

“Didn’t think you’d actually do that, Sangyeon. I should have bet that she wouldn’t accept-” A red-haired friend of his stopped mid sentence, his face palling as the group began to notice that you were still standing there. The rest of the group seemed to have noticed at the same time Sangyeon’s face had turned properly red by now and his lips were moving but you couldn’t hear a single word he was saying. The shame of it all was blocking out everything and your face was growing hotter and hotter by the second until you felt almost positive that you could explode. Biting so hard on your lower lips that you were almost sure you were going to bleed, you shied away as he took a tentative step forward.

“Y/n, please…” He reached out to hold your hand but you shrugged it away, keeping your head down and trying to keep your breathing steady.

“Please. Please don’t.” You choked out, taking another step back like a wounded child. Quickly, you turned and bolted out of the lobby and into the corridors. The chocolate bar you had in your hand dropped to the floor with clatter against the linoleum floor and you didn’t even care to see if it broke into fragments just like your heart just did.

As you ran along the noisy walkways where students were chattering among themselves and enjoying the last minutes of their lunch break, you couldn’t help but keep your head down, your thoughts lingering on what happened earlier.  

The shame. The humiliation. It was all too much.

Sprinting into the restroom and locking yourself in the cubicle, you had to take a moment to just breathe. Did that really just happen? How could you have been so gullible? You should have known that that was too good to be true - who would have been that nice? You almost wanted to laugh out loud at yourself just like those guys are probably doing now. God, you were such a fool. It was over before it even began.

Sniffling, your vision was beginning to get blurry from all the tears and softly, you whispered, “Lee Sangyeon, I’ll never forgive you.”

Since that day, you would avoid Sangyeon whenever you saw him around. No matter how far he was, just the slight indication of his presence was enough to send you running off in the opposite direction. It was difficult to say the least, to avoid someone within such a small neighbourhood high school. You would hide behind Jasmine or bolt off to the nearest restroom whenever you saw him walking towards you and after a while, she got the message as well, assisting in your escape attempts all the way till Sangyeon’s graduation. The last time you ever saw him was up on that stage with that warm, kind smile of his receiving his graduation certificate up until this year when you met him again when he came to pick up his son, Jeno.

“Hey, you okay?”

You blinked, shaking yourself out of your thoughts and looked up to see Sangyeon staring down at you. His hand was planted against the door frame of the shower making his build seem so much larger, with the other hand outstretched and it took you a moment to realise that he was waiting for you to hand him a spare shirt you had in your hands. Outside, the rain was still pouring down on the earth. The light above had begun to flicker and the room was growing dimmer by the second, the only source of light coming from the moonlight, the flashes of lightning and the dying light source from the ceiling.

Looking at his outstretched hand somehow triggered memories from the past and despite your determination to keep the past in the past, the bitter feelings still resurfaced and with it, it brought anger and frustration. You were no longer the meek girl you were in high school, you were stronger than this. While you fought these feelings that threatened to take control, Sangyeon peered down at you with concern, sensing that something was wrong.

“Y/n?”

The sound of his voice calling your name was just about enough to tip you over the edge.

“Why did you do it?”

You could see the flicker of shock that crossed his face, having been caught off guard at your question. It took you about a second to realise what you had just said. Covering your mouth, you stared at him with wide eyes. You could have kicked yourself. How did you let your feelings get the best of you? He probably doesn’t even remember and you might have just made a fool out of yourself. Again.

For a moment, Sangyeon said nothing and the only sound that broke the silence was the sound of the storm outside.

“It was a misunderstanding.”

You were not expecting a reply. Taken aback, you could only look at him, speechless. The words were stuck in the back of your throat and your palms were beginning to get calmy. It felt like you were being transported back to that very moment in high school.

“You remember?”

Sangyeon’s eyes were full of regret as he whispered, “Yes. Yes, I do.”

Sangyeon couldn’t help but let his eyes drift back to you throughout the remainder of the game.

It was getting increasingly difficult to focus on the game and although he knew how badly the team needed to clinch this victory, he couldn’t help but keep looking out for you.

Were you all better? Did the ball hit you too hard?

These were the sort of questions that floated around in his mind as the match went on and every so often, he’d turn to check if you were still there and every time he looked, you would be watching and just the thought of you having your eye on him was enough to give him the boost he needed to perform his best.

It was weird. He barely ever felt this way around anyone else. The many girls that have come forth professing their crushes on him never even came near and here he was being completely smitten by a certain someone. My, how the tables have turned. There was just something about you that simply… Struck him. Your beauty to him was astounding in a very heartwarming and comfortable way. It was like one of those moments when you meet someone and you just knew that you liked them.

It was as if he had fallen under the spell of Cupid. The captain who had never had a crush and always prioritised volleyball and studies was now seen keeping a conscious lookout for the girl who had captured his attention for herself with just a mere gaze. He would look out for you during recess, around school and sometimes during practice when he knew admirers of the volleyball team would come to watch. His heart always soared whenever he did catch a glimpse of you. It was funny how he normally had no problem talking to people but when it came to you, he was as shy as a mouse.

Sangyeon’s friends had caught on relatively quickly, jumping on the rare opportunity to tease the no nonsense, studious volleyball team captain about his little crush on you. Many times unbeknownst to you, his friends would drop a few hints here and there, implying at his supposed crush on you. It was definitely unsettling and embarrassing to say the least but he did not dare jump in for fear of exposing his secret - the fact that he did in fact fancy you.

“Guys, are you actually kidding me right now?” Sangyeon asked, simply radiating with what felt like an intense mixture of anger, frustration, disappointment and dejection. Watching that expression of dismay and sadness on your face did terrible things to his heart, akin to someone pushing a dagger into it and twisting the blade. Part of him did not want to believe that had actually just happened before his very eyes but the sight of the broken chocolate bar on the floor confirmed his worst fears that this was indeed the reality.

When he saw you in the convenience store, it took everything in him not to act like a lovestruck teenager. He tried his best not to pay you any attention but it was practically impossible. It was like whenever he turned away, there was this irrepressible urge to turn back and he just didn’t seem to be able to keep his eyes off you. It was embarrassing to say the least, even more so when his friends caught on.

“Are you ever going to talk to her?” Juyeon asked, rolling his eyes.

“... What do I even say to her? I want to talk but I don’t want to look stupid.”

“Since when have you ever?” Haknyeon chipped in.

“Hey, she’s leaving.” Changmin said suddenly and quickly, Sangyeon turned. “Did she not get anything?”

“I saw her looking into her wallet earlier and I think she probably didn’t have enough money.”

“Is she really skipping lunch?” Sangyeon thought, frowning. Imagine making the effort to sneak out the school and then not having enough money to buy a filling lunch. As the group began to clear up, he stared at the row of chocolate bars on display on a nearby rack. Was this going to his chance? As he stood pondering, Changmin nudged the others. Instantly, they exchanged a knowing look.

“Hey, Sangyeon. We’ll be going out to take a stretch, can you help to clear the rest?” Haknyeon asked.

“Wha-? I uh, yeah sure.” He waved them away without a second thought. Do girls like chocolates for lunch? It’s definitely not your conventional lunch option but he had read somewhere that gifting someone chocolates was romantic and girls liked them as gifts. Sangyeon had zero experience in such things so all he could do was trust the advice he’d read online.

It had taken everything in him to not freak out when he found that his friends had left him alone with you but almost as soon as he talked to you, he couldn’t be more grateful. This was his one opportunity. He didn’t know if you remembered him but he didn’t care. All that mattered was this moment. His heart fluttered and it felt like he was on edge, fearful of making a fool out of himself. He didn’t even think twice about shielding you from the rain. Sangyeon was never one to tolerate the cold very well but for you, he felt more than willing. As the two of you ran, he had been extremely conscious of himself. Were you well shielded? Was the pace of running okay for you? Could you… Hear his heart pounding?

This was not how he envisioned things to go. Just when he thought he finally had a chance, it was ripped away from him. Weeks. For weeks, he had been confronting his own confusing feelings for you. For someone who always knew what he needed to do and what his goals were in everything he did, his feelings surrounding you were the one thing he was never able to comprehend. In a way, you were an enigma he struggled to figure out. Feelings were always a complicated thing to dissect but especially when they came to you. Was this how the people who confessed to him felt when he rejected them? Sangyeon had never thought too deeply into how they might have felt - all he knew was that rejection was supposed to be a  natural part of life. He never thought himself as someone who feared rejection yet this time, it was the one thing he dreaded. Rejection would have been terrible but what was even worse was the fact that you were hurt… By him. He had destroyed his own chances once and for all.

The urge to lash out at his friends was strong - he wanted to yell and go off but he knew deep down it was all a misunderstanding and a terribly unlucky case of ‘wrong time, wrong place’.

“We… We are really sorry, Sangyeon.” Changmin apologised quietly, not even daring to look him in the eye.

“Please forgive us.” Haknyeon added, his voice full of remorse and guilt.

Taking a deep breath, Sangyeon closed his eyes and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t possibly blame them. He knew they meant well.

“It’s okay. I’ll try to… Fix this.”

Except he couldn’t. Whenever he came close, you would run off in the opposite direction as if you’d just seen the devil himself. There was no way of coming close to talking to you. His friends had tried to come close but you pushed them away as well. You no longer came by to watch his matches and the growing guilt and sadness had a profound impact on his performances. He didn’t feel like he played as well as he did when you were around. In a way, you were the Daphne to his Apollo. You were the one person he couldn’t have and it pained him. Knowing that you were hurt as a result of his own actions pained him even more. Eventually, he knew he had to give up and as graduation drew near, Sangyeon kept his heart and feelings locked away. He was more invested in his studies and games but none of it felt like it really mattered. He was doing it for the sake of doing it.

Even as he went onto university, it felt tortuous to carry with him the knowledge that he had hurt someone he genuinely never meant to hurt. It might seem childish in hindsight but perhaps… That might have been first love that never was. Many nights, Sangyeon tried to push you out of his mind, trying so hard to convince himself that his feelings were merely fleeting but deep down, he knew they weren’t. Yet as time went on, he began to gradually lock away his memories and even found someone who he married thought as much as he’d never admit it, that strong feeling of comfort, warmth and joy he felt around you was just never there. It wasn’t really any surprise that he had gotten divorced barely a year into the marriage. Communication between him and Mina broke down completely, with regular verbal fights almost every other night. He no longer saw things the same way she did and they disagreed on virtually everything. The screaming, yelling and crying just wouldn’t stop. It was a relationship that drained him both emotionally and mentally. Many nights, he would fall asleep on the couch and wake up with intense back aches that only worsened as he carried around a heavy backpack to work every other day. The two of them went from being best friends and a couple to being almost completely strangers in their own home.  Eventually, Mina had barely spared a second thought before packing up her bags and leaving him with a barely 3 month old toddler. It was definitely a union he regretted but the one thing he never did regret was his son, Jeno.

Jeno was the one constant in his life. For a long time, it was just the two of them while he struggled to make ends meet as an accountant for a small paper supply company. Life was average to say the least, it wasn’t fantastic but it wasn’t bad either. He was living in a different part of the country with his son and a small, secure studio apartment. There was nothing out of place and everything was on track. Though, the good times wouldn’t last. When his company went bust, it felt like everything was collapsing right before his very eyes again only this time, it was worse. He had a 3 year old son with him and was unemployed with the threat of eviction trailing closely behind them, breathing down his neck. It felt like the walls were closing in fast around him, leaving them both no room to breathe. He would have been left homeless if not for his friends and connections.

It was a blessing truly when Juyeon hooked him up with an accountant job with a medical supply company. The only problem was the fact that he would have to move back to the very town he had attended high school in, the very period of his life when he had suffered his first heartbreak. As he packed up his bags on his very last night in the city, he wondered briefly if you were still there.

Sangyeon sat at the edge of the bed, looking at the packed suitcases that sat at his feet. Beside him, Jeno was fast asleep. Softly, he ran his fingers through his son’s hair and he smiled. Did it really matter? Even if you were still there, things weren’t like how they were back then when he actually still had a chance of salvaging things. He never did get to know how you really felt about him but he was almost certain that you might still hate him. Maybe you might have forgotten or maybe you might have even moved away. For some reasons as much as Sangyeon didn’t want to confront his past again, he still felt his heart sink at the prospect of not seeing you again when he went back. He never did acknowledge it but you had always claimed a part of his heart for yourself all these years. Even as he alighted from the plane back at his old hometown, Sangyeon had very little expectations.

He never expected much but the shock that hit him was still almost numbing when he first showed up at Sunny Hearts Kindergarten with Jeno. There you were, in the flesh after almost 10 years. You were still as beautiful as you were in his dreams and although he wanted so desperately to talk to you, he knew he should keep his distance. It wouldn’t be right to bring up such memories. He wasn’t sure if you recognised him but he most definitely did. When you looked him in the eye, it took all his power not to do anything stupid. It felt like coming home in a way but to a home he wasn’t familiar with.

“I… I had no idea…” You whispered breathlessly as he told his story.

The room was dark, the power supply having malfunctioned, leaving the two of you in the dark. Hearing Sangyeon’s story in that voice you loved so much was surreal and almost even a little overwhelming. It felt like you were knocked out of your wind. For a moment, there was only the sound of the raging storm outside while the two of you sat in bated silence in the locker room. There was a weird yet familiar tension in the air and after a while, you managed to choke out.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Although you couldn’t see Sangyeon’s face, you could hear the softness in his voice.

“You didn’t give me a chance to.”

A flash of lightning zapped across the sky and for a brief moment, you saw the pain in his eyes and it was like something in you clicked. It was the lock you had kept on all those repressed feelings you ever had over the years. Deep down, you knew you had felt the same. You loved him, you loved him so deeply it hurt as did he. The both of you were just two souls in love yet too obstinate and clueless to fight for the love the two of you so deserve. It wasn’t resurfaced feelings - it was feelings that had been locked away for too long, waiting for the right opportunity to be freed and expressed freely.

Sensing the tension, Sangyeon grew flustered, stammering as he did.

“Look, I-I get it if you still don’t-”

His eyes widened as you crashed your lips on  his. His soft lips moved slightly against yours as he stiffened. Slowly, he melted into the kiss, his hands coming up to cup your face. Your hearts were beating in unison as the two of you became simply locked in the moment, two long lost lovers locked in a tight embrace. As he withdrew, he whispered, “This. This is what I’ve been yearning for since Day one.”

There was so much affection, love and longing in his voice that it almost made you shy. Bowing your head, he chuckled deeply as he tilted your face up ever so gently with 2 fingers, making you look him in the eye. The moonlight from outside made his eyes seem all the more reflective and it felt like for a moment the two of you were back in that volleyball court, exchanging that very first gaze that led to so much hurt, misunderstandings and repressed feelings over all these years.  

Suddenly, the lights flickered back on and you were so surprised, you jumped back. In the bright light, the redness in Sangyeon’s face was all the more apparent and instantly, he cowered back.

“I-I… I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me…”

“Um…” You bit down on your lower lip, unsure of what to say. You knew you wanted to say something but what exactly do you say to a long lost first love who you just shared an intimate moment with?

“Hey, the rain has stopped.” He remarked, looking out and you had a slight inclination that he was trying to cover his blushing face.

“Yeah, it has.” You said slowly.

“Daddy! Miss y/n! Where are you…!” Jeno’s cries from the lobby resounded through the corridor.

“Oh, he must have woken up!” You cried, getting to your feet and making your way over with Sangyeon following closely behind. There was an almost giddy look in his eyes which you felt your heart tightened at the sight of before you realised, you might be wearing the very same expression.

As you locked up the Kindergarten later, you felt Sangyeon standing just beside you, shuffling his feet as if there was something on his mind. Behind him, Jeno was busy jumping into puddles and you lowered your head, like a shy schoolgirl in love which was honestly how you were feeling.

“Would you… Would you be down to join us for dinner?” Sangyeon asked quietly, peering at you with those eyes that seemed to carry entire galaxies in them.

As you looked at him, it all felt like homecoming. This was what everything came down to. A failed high school first love up until this very moment. The man before you felt both so familiar yet so foreign in the best way possible. There was just so much you wanted to talk to him about. All those years the two of you missed, the lost love that the two you could have had… Thinking about it all almost made you emotional all over again. 

Finally. After all these years, you have found it.

“Okay.”

[iguessilovebakugou]

Stranger ||  Bakugou x Reader ||  { Anon Request }  ||  Stalking

TW:  Cursing ||  Stalking || Threats of violence  ||  Implied desire for Non-Con (not from Bakugou tho) Word Count:  5.5K

It started after the Sport Festival.  

A DM that had been sent to your private social media account - a friend from your old school named Honoka. You hadn’t spoken to her since starting UA - and the moment you saw the notification, you felt guilty that this was how she had to reach out to you.  She had been so proud of you when you got accepted, she almost started crying, hugging you tightly and telling you as much.  She asked you to keep in contact in High School.  You had promised her you would.

You had been so busy, it was hard keeping promises.

Honoka: Hey!  I saw you on the TV - you were amazing!  I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you pass onto the finals.  Good thing though - you would have gone against that asshole.

Honoka:  Not that you couldn’t have handled it!

It should have tipped you off that one of the quieter kids of school would have used such language, but it didn’t.  It had been a few months since starting high school and people have changed faster.  You didn’t think much about it aside from replying before your train pulled into the station.  You might miss your stop and be late to school.  

You were always punctual and refused to have something as stupid as that go against your record.  

You waited until you were off the train, standing on the steps before sending a quick message. 

Thanks!  It was really terrifying.  But I lost fair and square.  Besides, I wasn’t the only one who didn’t make it to the finals.  So I guess it’s okay. :) 

You decided not to humor her comment about Bakugou.  While it drew a hot, angry tie around your neck, part of you understood.  Honoka wasn’t alone in thinking he was...less than pleasant.  It had been a point of contention, something that bothered you both that day and since.  People were just wrong about him.  She didn’t know him like Class 1-A did.  A few short clips from some televised sports festival didn’t do him nearly the justice he was deserved.

You didn’t have enough time to put your phone back in your jacket pocket when it buzzed again. 

Honoka: Still.

Honoka: You were so strong.  We all think they should have made an exception for you.

Honoka: We should meet up sometime.  Gtg! Text me after school to set up a time!

You wanted to question it but you didn’t.  

You really should have questioned it.  

King Explosion Murder was a perfectly good name.

Miss Midnight just doesn’t understand art.

The conversation had been going on for a hour.  It was the longest that you and Bakugou had texted.  You had moved from a group text to your own private thread.  He didn’t text you like normal boys did - no pictures, no emojis, no stupid memes he had found.  It was...conversation, one that hadn’t been as hard to keep going as you thought.  you tried to distract yourself with school work while he replied, but found it hard not to keep your attention on your screen as the text bubble flashed.  

Bakugou:  It was better than “Deku”.

Well Deku was less violent

Bakugou:  AND IT WAS STILL BETTER

Bakugou:  THAN FUCKING DEKU’S

Honoka: You still up?

You stopped.  Honoka?  Why on earth was she texting you...oh shit.  You groaned, rubbing your eyes and kicking yourself for forgetting to text her back like she had asked.  You had been so wrapped up texting Bakugou since getting home that it just completely slipped your mind.  Though, to be fair, most things slipped your mind around him.

You opened your chat with her, trying to figure out how to apologize without seeming like too much of an asshole.

Hey, yeah, sorry.

I started talking to one of my classmates and totally forgot.  

My bad, dood. 

Once again, she replied quickly. 

Honoka: Who were you talking to?

There was a small part of you that wanted to ask her why it was her business, but you bit your tongue.  She probably didn’t mean anything by it and some residual bitterness from her comment this morning was probably lingering.  You took a deep breath. 

Bakugou.  

We workshopped hero names today.  His got shot down by our teacher.  

It was so sad. 🤣🤣🤣

Honoka:  Why are you talking to him?

It wasn’t a question, not really.  It was a statement.  Like you talking to Bakugou was taboo, you could practically hear her grasping her pearls.  You shouldn’t have had to explain to her why you were talking anyone, let alone him, and it bothered you that she felt she was owed that right. That she even dare ask the question. Your brow furrowed as you sat up in bed.  

What do you mean?

Honoka:  Why are you talking to him?  He seems like an dick

Honoka:  And isn’t good for you. 

Honoka:  You need to focus on being the best hero you can be.

Honoka:  He seems like he would only drag you down. 

Rage filled your stomach.  Your hands were shaking as you tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.  She had never acted this way before...right?  She had always been so nice and meek and unassuming and... 

You were confused, finding yourself chewing on your lip as you tried to make sense of what the hell you were seeing.

He’s my friend.  I really like him.

Look, he’s not as mean as he appears on TV.  He’s actually a really good guy.  And he’s really smart and he’s going to be a better hero than even me some day.

So I would appreciate it if you didn’t talk about him like that.

The chat bubble popped up.  Then disappeared.  Then popped up.  And disappeared again.

It’s funny - you had never felt so threatened by someone not answering.  But as the bubble flashed for a final time, something told you that you had fucked up. 

Honoka was always quiet, yes, but she was also amazingly sweet.  She cried when you were little kids at the ending scene in All Dog’s Go to Heaven, always scrounged up change to donate to someone on the street looking for food, and volunteered every weekend to help with the younger students struggling in studies.  She hadn’t been born with a mean bone in her body.  

But by the end of the week, you were certain the person messaging you wasn’t the same Honoka you knew.  She had changed - and not for the better.  Not in the slightest.  She was growing more insistent that you talk to her - every night.  And if you didn’t?  

The calls were incessant.  One after the other until you finally had to shut your ringer off.  And the voicemails - she never spoke.  Just let it sit for a moment before hanging up.  And you were grateful for it - you didn’t want to talk to her.  Every chance she got, she showered you with praise and adoration while slinging hate at all your friends in 1-A.  But no one got it like Bakugou did.

Honoka:  Stop talking to him.

It’s not any of your damn business who I’m talking to.

Honoka:  If you don’t stop talking to him, I’ll tell him what a whore you were in Middle School.

The water of your bath was scalding, but that didn’t stop you from shaking.  Why was she doing this to you?  Why was she so adamant about making your life miserable?  This wasn’t Honoka - not even in the slightest.  

I’m blocking you.  Leave me alone.

Don’t talk to me anymore.

No matter what, he was pure evil to Honoka.  He was disgusting, arrogant, rude, a monster, a villain hiding in sheep's clothing and would do nothing but drag you down.  He would hurt you, she said.  

Honoka:  Go ahead.  I’ll just make other accounts.

She was as good as her word.  At least that hadn’t changed.

Your classmates were starting to take notice.  After the first few accounts were blocked, she started using a calling app to randomly call you - only to hang up the moment you answered.  Sometimes it was once a night, supplemented with texts about what a no good, lying whore you were.  About how you were just some slut who’s opening you legs for the first guy who gave you any attention. 

Honoka:  Fucking skank.

Honoka:  You’re so fucking worthless.  

Honoka:  You fucking him?  Is that it?  Is that why you want to defend him so bad?

Honoka:  He’s probably fucking every other girl in your class.

Other times, the calls were every hour on the hour.  It had gotten so bad, that you started sleeping in later and later.

You raced through the empty halls, trying to will time to back up.  You had slept in, missing your first train.  When you got on the second one, you fell back asleep until the stop after yours.  The only thing you could do was get off and just run to school as fast as you could.  Class had started 20 minutes ago.  This had never happened before - in your whole life.  You were always meticulous about getting to class early.

You were a good student.  A good person.  You were.  

“Well, look who decided to join us.”  Mr. Aizawa didn’t even bother to hide the annoyance in his voice.  It made it all the more terrible

You wanted to cry.  You felt the eyes of everyone in your class fall on you.  It made your skin squirm, your stomach flip.  You wanted to turn around and just...run home.  To crawl into your bed and... 

You bowed low, your head almost hitting the floor.  “I’m so sorry I’m late, sir!  It won’t happen again!”

“Be sure that it doesn’t.”  His glare hardened.  “We’ll talk after class about your punishment.”

Punishment.  Shit.  You couldn’t speak, resigning to solemnly nodding as you making the walk of shame to your seat, collapsing down.  You had to take a minute, to steady your breath.  To try and collect yourself.  At least at school, you had an excuse not to answer her texts.  To ignore her and pretend like she wasn’t out there being fucking crazy.  School was safe.  School was free from it all.

Almost by habit, you turned and looked over at Bakugou.  A small part of you was praying that he was looking at you.  That his glare would ground you in a way only it knew how.  But when your eyes met...the only thing you felt was misery.  

You fucking him?  Is that it?  

Your heart raced, panic flooded your nerves, and all you wanted to do was run.  Get away from everyone and just...just go to sleep.  You just wanted to sleep.  But Honoka wasn’t allowing that.  You couldn’t stop thinking about half of the things she said while the other half had been resting heavily in your stomach, making you sick.  She was stealing everything from you.

You’re a fucking slut opening her legs for the first guy who gives you attention.  And of course it had to be that fucking dog.

No...no you couldn’t look at him for too long, afraid that he would know.  Terrorized as you were, you couldn’t run the risk of him finding out.  Because...what if she messaged him first?  What if she told him all of her lies and...what if he believed her?

No.  No, that couldn’t happen.

You pulled away from his stare, folding in on yourself.  Just get out your books.  Focus on class and get out your books.  Your phone dinged and your blood ran cold.  You dreaded even looking at it, but as you tugged out your notebook,  the piece of plastic fell, resting against the back of your bag.  It was as if some higher power was damning you to be always aware of the vitriol Honoka was spewing in your direction.  The lock screen shone bright: 21 missed texts, 44 missed calls.  But the most recent message sent horror down your spine.

Honoka:  Naughty girl, sleeping in late for school.  

You slipped out of the lunch room and made your way down the hall.  You were going to put an end to this - once and for all.  You didn’t know what game Honoka was playing at, but whatever it was, you were fucking done.  She was starting to seep into every facet of your life and it was ending now.  Right then, in that hallway.  

When you got a safe distance away from the double doors, to ensure no one could hear you when you started screaming, you searched through your contacts for her number.  When you finally found it however...

God, just looking at her name made you sick.  The fact her contact picture was of you and her, eating ice cream at a beach, grinning and giving the camera a peace sign, posing as only 12 year old girls knew how, it drove a knife into your chest, twisting it even deeper the longer you stared at it.  She was making your life a living hell.  It wasn’t right, it didn’t make any fucking sense.  Why was she doing this to you?  Did you do something to her?  Were you cruel in your last interaction?  Did you make a joke that went so poorly that she decided the only way to get back at you was to ruin your entire life?  To push you so close to the edge that...

She going out of her way to make your life a living hell and for what?  

Well, no better time like the present to find out.

Your thumb slammed down on the dial button.  Each ring was like nails on chalk board.

Her voice was even worse.

She said your name so surprised, before crying it out in joy.  “Oh my god, it’s been so long!”

Well...that...wasn’t...true?

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Honoka went silent on the other end of the phone.  “Uh...are you okay?”

“You’ve been harassing me since the festival and you’re just going to act like-”

“Wait...what?”

“The thousands of texts!?  The millions of calls!?”

She didn’t answer.  You couldn’t help the grin that spread over your face.  You fucking got her.  You caught her in her bullshit lie and she didn’t have anything to say for it.  You hated to admit it, but part of you was excited to hear how she was going to explain it way.  How she was going to break down and finally you could tell her off and it was going to stop and you could get a good night’s sleep and maybe your mom could make your favorite curry and you would be able to eat it and not throw it up later and -

“I haven’t been texting you.”

Well...you couldn’t have said you were expecting that.  You stopped, staring at your feet.  “I...what?”

“I...haven’t been calling you.  Or texting you.”  She said, her voice - that ever familiar voice - filled with worry.

...of course she would be worried.  She was always so fucking nice. 

“Yes you have!!”  You shouted, gritting your teeth.

She said your name, so softly and so calmly, “No.  I haven’t.  I promise you, I haven’t.  Are you okay?  Is everything alright?”

The phone vibrated in your fingers and the screen lit up once more.  Another unknown number was calling you.  You didn’t hesitate and for the first time since this all began you answered the her-him-they-it. 

“What!?”  You screamed, pressing the phone to your ear.  You strained to hear, to try and find out who was doing this to you.  “What do you want!?  Why are you doing this to me!?  Leave me alone!!!”

...click!

The dial tone felt like a death sentence.

The hallway shrunk and expanded, growing larger and darker - like the mouth of the beast, it was going to swallow you whole.  You pressed your phone to your forehead, slumped to the floor and realized...you were crying.  No, not just crying.  You were sobbing, each one wracking your body and shaking your bones.  Shit...shit, shit, shit.  You just wanted to go back to the way things were.  You wanted it to stop, wanted whoever was doing this to leave you alone and - 

Your phone buzzed again.  Another message.  

Another sob rocked your body, but you found the strength to turn it back into view.

UNKNOWN NUMBER ::  [ MULTIMEDIA MESSAGE ]

Your fingers trembled so hard you almost dropped the phone.  You didn’t want to look at whatever it was.  Whoever was doing to you was fucking sick, was deranged and psychotic and out of their mind and...you had to do something about it.  Maybe you could tell a teacher?  But what could they do about it?  Up security?  Just for you?  No, it was entirely out of the question.  You couldn’t go to the police - since who ever this was hadn’t physically done anything to harm you.  

You were on your own.

You opened the message.

It was your house.  The sun was setting.  Then another.  This one was early in the morning.  Then another.  And another.  Another another another another another another another another another different angles, different times of day...but all focused on one spot. 

Your bedroom.  Sometimes it was empty, but other times you were in shot.  Sometimes working on homework, sometimes sitting with your cat on the window sill, other times pulling your shirt above your head, reaching behind your back for your bra and...

UNKOWN NUMBER :  Stop ignoring me.

Your phone clattered to the floor as you gripped your hair, trying to steady your breathing.  In two three fours, Out two three fours.  In two three fours, Out two three-

“Hey.”

The scream was involuntary, as was backing against the lockers so hard that you slammed your head against them.  Bakugou recoiled, staring at you, his eyes wide with surprise.  It didn’t last long, quickly overtaken by gritted teeth and snarls.  “The hell is your-”

He must have noticed the tears, the absolute panic on your face.  The silence fell over the two of you, the echo of your scream now long gone.  You wished you were.  You couldn’t look at him, couldn’t face the shame of what was happening.  How could you explain it. 

“You alright?”  

You pulled your legs up to you chest, hugging them tightly.  “No,” You replied.

Bakugou was never one for consolations.  So you were almost surprised when all he made his way over to where you were sitting and sat down beside you.  You flinched, only a little, but it didn’t seem to bother him none.  He shoved his hands in his pockets, but didn’t say a word, his bright red eyes focused out the window across from you.  You...were grateful.  For the first time in almost two weeks, you didn’t feel entirely vulnerable.  Like everything was crumbling down around you.  And in this small moment of peace, you felt horribly exhausted.  Your mind ached, your body was sore, your eyes were so red and...and...

You rested against his shoulder and he didn’t make a move to stop you.  It was like Bakugou was putting himself between you and...whoever was stalking you.  

Stalking you.  You had a stalker.  

You sniffled, wiping the tears from your eyes.  “I’m sorry.”  You offered.

“For what?”  He barked.

“For crying.”

He didn’t answer for a moment, “Tch.  Yeah, well...maybe suck it the hell up.  Whatever it is, it’s not a big deal.”

Not a big...you turned to look at him, eyes narrowing.  “Not a big deal...?”  

He looked at you, a bored and disgruntled expression on his face.  “Yeah.”

“It’s kind of a big fucking deal.”

“Oh yeah?  Well then what the hell is it?”

“Whoa, it’s that kid who just won the Sports Festival!”

“Oh, wow!  He’s so much scarier in person!”

“Do you think he would be mad if I asked for an autograph?”

“Yeah! Look at his mug - he’s obviously pissed off about something!”

Bakugou had stayed late, even through your detention, to walk you home.  It was nearly dark now as you walked side by side down your street.  The sun was struggling to peak over the row of houses and a purple ink had settled over the top of the sky.  

It was taking everything in you not to apologize...again.  He didn’t need to be dragged into your mess.  But...shit, it wasn’t like you weren’t ecstatic that he offered to walk you home back in the hallway.  He was a terrifying presence, unstoppable.  As he stalked down the road towards your house, a scowl on his face as his eyes peered around every corner, it hit you that you felt safer now than you had the past few weeks.  

“Hey.”  You picked up the pace, making sure to stay close.  “Thank you again.  I just-”

“Ugh, stop thanking me!”  He glared at you.

“I’m just-”  You sighed and gripped your bag straps.  “I...I don’t see the point of you walking me home.  Not...that I don’t appreciate it, I just...won’t that make him mad?”

Bakugou scoffed.  “That’s the point, you idiot.”

Sometimes, you thought you almost understood him.  But then he blew up Rome and screamed at you to start over tomorrow morning.  You stared at him in confusion though ultimately decided you didn’t have the energy to argue.  You were just...thankful that he was here.

“This is me.”  Your house was a small thing, nestled on the corner and surrounded by a garden that was meticulously maintained by your mom while you were at school and your father was at work.  Sometimes the pictures had her in the shot, busy at work.  Your lips thinned as you stared up at the second story window,  Your white curtains lay still and your cat stared down at you, like she knew something was wrong.  Like she knew...that things were amiss. 

Well...Bakugou came all this way and the guy didn’t have the guts to show himself.  As you had figured, you had completely wasted his time.  It wasn’t like he was going to move in just to be your watchful protector.  You didn’t want to think that maybe he was just patiently waiting until you were alone but...

“Do you want to come in for something to drink.  It’s the least I could...”  

Bakugou wasn’t looking at you.  His attention was focused entirely over your shoulder.  You blinked, taken aback by the cold, dead glare on his face.  The way his eyes seemed to burn with...rage?  Unbridled anger?  Nothing seemed to do whatever it was justice.  “You’ve been following us since the train station!”  He yelled out.  “Why don’t you stop being a fucking coward and come out of hiding!!”

…someone...had been following you?

You could see the reflection of someone in his eyes.  With a shaking breath, you turned to look at who he was talking to.

You weren’t sure what you expected.  But throughout the day, you had come up with an image in your mind of what your stalker had looked like.  He would be the perfect embodiment of the horror you had suffered though, that was for certain.  A Cheshire grin, wild unkempt hair, vacant, glossy eyes, maybe a knife or something - anything to solidify himself as the monster who had been making your life miserable.  But...he wasn’t.  As you got a good look at him, you realized that he looked relatively...normal.  And for some reason, that thought alone made you sick.  

He was about your age - maybe a bit older - in a school uniform you didn’t recognize.  His hair was dark, pulled back and pushed behind his ears.  His chin was dusted with facial hair and his eyes were darting between you and Bakugou.  He had been standing by the cross walk and tried to pretend to be shocked that Bakugou was even addressing him. 

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t pull that bull with me.”  Bakugou stepped around you, making his way towards him. “I saw you get off the train with us.  You made every turn we did.  Always stayed one step behind where you thought we couldn’t see you.”

The kid only got a word out before Bakugou gripped him by his shirt and slammed him up against the wall of the neighboring house.  “Please!” The kid yelled.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

“Bakugou!”  Your legs finally remembered they could move.  You bolted over to where he was standing, looking between the two of them.  “Bakugou maybe it isn’t him!  Maybe he-”

“Show us your phone then if you don’t have anything to hide!”  He lifted him up and slammed him back against the bricks.

“I don’t have to show you anything, you fucking lunatic!”

You don’t think you had ever seen him on this street.  You don’t think you had seen him ever but-

“HEY!”  The boy tried to stop Bakugou from reaching into his pocket.  But it was no use.

You caught it was ease, “Try the day of the sports festival for the password.”  Was all he said.

This was fucking insane.  What if this kid wasn’t the stalker?  What if he was just some random guy who was meeting a friend.  You looked back and forth between the two of them - Bakugou, hair wild and death in his eyes, and this guy who looked down at him with fear and...

...oh...

You swiped up, entering the date as instructed.

It unlocked.

And you were met with a pretty lain layout.  Some photo editing apps, Youtube, a few games, and...

Texting and Calling apps.  Your blood ran cold as you opened the first one up.  Texts apon texts, all to the same unlisted number.  Your unlisted number.  You went to the photo gallery and there they were.  The pictures of your house.  Some of them were zoomed in and cropped to only show you.  You wanted to be sick.  You wanted to-

“I can explain!”  

“What the fuck,” You breathed, scrolling through the pictures.  Not just of your house, but of you - walking home from school, of hanging out with your friends, of you shopping.  And that’s when you saw the edited versions.

Fuck.  Oh Shit Fuck. 

“I was only trying to help you!!”  He cried, scratching at Bakugou’s wrist, making his skin bleed.  “I only want what’s best for us!”

“I think I’m going to be sick.”  You covered your mouth, trying to think of what to do next.  Should you call the police?  Your parents!?  What do you do now?

His eyes fell on Bakugou, practically snarling.  “I knew he would do something like this!!  I knew he would try to make me look like some psycho, but I’m not.  I know how he would treat you!  He’s a rabid fucking dog, a mongrel!  I couldn’t let him treat you the same way!  I couldn’t!  I’m just trying to protect you!  But you wouldn’t fucking listen!!  So I thought if maybe you and I could talk you would understand!  You would see what I’m-”

“ARGH!”

Your body tensed as the smell of burnt stone and ash filled the air.  You looked up and half expected his head to be blown clean off.  But it was still attached, only now he looked terrified as he stared down at Bakugou.  You followed his gaze, saw the look of pure, unadulterated rage.  His hand had connected to the wall beside the man’s head, smoke dancing up and around them.  And he was shaking.  Oh, god, how hard Bakugou was shaking.

He spoke low, deep in his chest.  “Listen close, you freak.  You’re going to leave her alone from this point forward - you got that?  If I find out you’re even thinking about her, I’ll kill you myself!!”

The world fell silent.  No one said a word until.  Your stalker was crying now, shaking as he nodded, quickly, mumbling apology after apology.  You couldn’t find the words to say, but your heart.  God, your heart was beating so hard in your chest as you stared at Bakugou.  He...he was...

Oh.

The window in the house behind you slid open.  An older man leaned out the window, his wife nervously peering over his shoulder.  The looked to the source of the commotion before standing up straight, fumbling as the smoke continued to rise from the spot Bakugou...well...destroyed.  “Hey!!  If you don’t get off my property, I’m calling the cops!”

...the police.  

...

The police.

Oh god, you had his phone.  You could prove he had been stalking you!!!  You perked up, smiling for the first time in weeks, “Yes!  Yes, please, call the police!”

The man stared at you, confusion on his face. “....what?”

The weight of the situation only grew heavier when the police searched the contents of the guy’s backpack. 

Rope.  A knife.  Some cloth.  A box of condoms.  And a jar of a clear, sickly sweet smelling liquid.  You heard one of the officers say what it was, though you were sure you weren’t supposed to hear.  But you did, and so did your parents.  Your mom nearly broke down for the third time that evening as your father swore under his breath.  

Homemade chloroform.

His name was Eito Moto - a second year at another High School near your home.  You would find out later that the stalking had started long before the Sports Festival - ever since he started working at the coffee shop you and your mom would go to every Sunday for breakfast.  Your neighbors, the ones who actually called the police, had seen him hanging around sometimes but didn’t think much off it.  

They thought he had just been a fan.  

They decided not to press charges against Bakugou for putting a hole in their fence.  “Given the circumstances,”  The man said, “I think I would have done the same thing.”

You had to go to the police station to file a report and request a restraining order.  It took well into the morning hours, where you mainly spent your time talking to different police officers, retelling the same story, going over evidence, assuring them you didn’t know this guy so you had no clue why he thought you two had been dating for months.  

They sent Bakugou home, your parents offering him their thanks and promises they would find a better, proper way to think him for essentially saving your life.  

By the time you fell into a crumpled heap on your bed, it was 2 in the morning.  It had been so long since you felt...okay.  Your stalker was in police custody for now, you could at least rest easy tonight.  You gripped your pillows, tugging them up and over your head to block out what meager light filtered in through the hallway.  No more late night calls.  No more insistent texts telling you what a no good whore you were.  You were okay.  

Everything was going to be okay. 

Bzzzz.

...oh no.  Oh no.  Oh no.

You peeked out from under your pillow, trying to calm your racing heart.  It couldn’t be him, you thought.  He was in jail, so they wouldn’t let him call you - right?  They wouldn’t let him do that, even if they did give him one call.  With shaking fingers, you reached out and plucked your phone from your end table.

Bakugou is calling!

Oh....oh thank god.

You couldn’t press accept fast enough.  You sighed, resting back against your pillows.  “Hey.”

“Is that bastard in jail?”

A laugh, a good honest laugh.  “Yeah.  Yeah, he’s in jail.  Dad and mom are gonna to talk to a lawyer tomorrow about our options.”

“Did you get a restraining order?”

You nodded.  “Yeah.  That’s what took so long and why we have to go to court.  They gave me an emergency one so...”  You blew out a puff of air, watching as a lock of your hair jumped up and fell back into place.  “At least there’s that.”

“You should have talked to me about this sooner.”  It was softer than you anticipated, less of a bite than he normally had.

You knew you should have.  You should have told someone but...it felt so...pointless?  Like it wouldn’t have mattered.  But, you had to give credit where credit was due.  “I wish I would have.”

He didn’t respond.  You had expected he would have started yelling at you, about hiding it from everyone.  Chastised you for being so stupid and letting it go on for as long as it had.  But no, he stayed quiet.  You could imagine him laying in bed, staring up at his ceiling, and wondered what he was thinking about.  What he wanted to say.  

You rolled over onto your side.  “Hey, Bakugou?”

“What.”

“Thank you.”

There was a long pause before he let out a soft noise.

“Don’t be stupid.  I was only doing what I had to do.”

Stalkers are fucking scary, yah know.  I had to listen to some voicemails left by stalkers to get the vibe down right - and I still don’t think Eito sounded perfect but hey.  At least one blessing in that:  I’ve never been stalked.  

[yolkyeomie]

[blurb] — pairing: felix x reader, word count: 975, genre: fluff/high school au, warning: none

note: oh my god this is based on a real experience I had the audacity to do two years ago

[2:15 pm]: “what are you doing?” Seungmin questioned, leaning over to your desk to invade your privacy.

His peeping only made you more defensive, using your shoulder to block his view of the object in your hands and your embarrassed expression. “Nothing, can you just mind your own business?” You snap at him, hoping your attitude would scare him away.

Though you knew Seungmin had no shame and your demeanor only made him even more curious. He was practically right on your shoulder, his hands clamoring to reveal what you were hiding. “Oh come on Y/N!” The boy complained, struggling against your opposing strength. “You can’t just say something like that and expect me to leave you alone! Let me see, let me see!”

“No, you’ll open your mouth and start talking to everyone if I do,” you retaliated, getting ready to slip out of your seat to run to safety. In the time you took to reply however, Seungmin saw an opening you had yet to protect. Like a snake he snatched the object out of your grasp, a wide grin stretching across his face as you spoke, “hey! Give that back, I told you no!”

“Calm down, Y/N,” he argued, leaning back as far as his body would let him get out of your range. “I’m only going to look for like… two seconds.” The boy kept you at arms length as he finally took a look at what you had in your hands.

It wasn’t anything special, it was a piece of notebook paper folded into a rectangle. But the paper wasn’t what was interesting about it, it was written— or maybe drawn was the right word— on it.

“Woah… is this a drawing of Felix? It looks just like him!” Seungmin grinned, his eyes wide with awe as he admired your work. “Jeez, sometimes I forget you can really draw Y/N. This is so good!”

“Hush! Keep your voice down or I’ll get caught in the act,” you complained, snatching the drawing out of his hands in a hurry. “You’re so nice to everyone but me, you know that? What if… what if Felix heard you?”

“Hear what?” Speak of the devil, you nearly jump out of your skin at the sound of Felix’s voice behind you. For someone who usually kept their voice to a good minimum when he was alone, it didn’t stop the harsh booming tone his deep voice from echoing in your ears. Though, he made up for the sudden scare by flashing you his sweet smile that always made your heart run marathons in your chest.

You try your best to not embarrass yourself, a strained grin plastered onto your face as your chest tightening while your heart began running marathons around your body. “Nothing!” You lie, hiding the artwork away from the freckled boy’s line of sight, “I mean, there was nothing to hear! You must have misheard me. Or uh… imagined you heard me.”

“Did you know Y/N can draw, Felix?” Seungmin questioned, practically stabbing you in the back as he began to expose you. “Y/N can draw well! Like really, really well! Her drawings are so good!”

“Seungmin,” you hissed, almost losing your cool as you tried to whisper to him, “what the hell are you doing?”

“You can draw?” Felix asked, his voice cracking slightly but still adding a hint of endearment to his words. Without thinking you nod your head, feeling your ears begin to burn the same heat of the sun. Oh, curse Felix and his captivating self. Did he even know he had this type of effect on you? “Can I see some of your drawings? If you don’t mind, of course. I don’t think I’ve ever known someone who was an artist.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t call myself an artist, no way!” You deny immediately before quickly adding, “I mean, you can definitely see some of the drawings I’ve done. I just don’t think I’m like… good enough to be labeled an artist.”

“Don’t say that,” the freckled boy encouraged, his smile beaming down on you like the morning rays. “I’m sure, you’re plenty talented!”

You glance back at Seungmin who wore a grin similar to that of Cheshire Cat as he watched the two of you. He silently urged you to take the next step, making eye contact with the drawing you were trying to hide from Felix in the first place. “Now’s your chance.”

You bite your lip anxiously, hesitantly taking the drawing out of hiding and holding it close to you. “Well actually…” you began, unsure of how exactly to go about this. You weren’t even planning on showing him in the first place. “Here, you can have this. I kinda… uh… used you as my muse…? I drew you, basically, yeah.”

“You drew me?” He gasped, his eyes shining like a full moon as you handed the drawing to him. Felix gently took it in his hands like it was the most valuable thing in the world, his eyes beginning to sparkle as he took in the art you had created. “Oh, wow… you drew me! This is so cool Y/N! It looks just like me, I’m not even joking! Are you sure I can keep this?”

“Of course!” You answer a little too fast, clearing your throat before continuing, “I mean… It is a drawing of you after all. It would be just a little weird if I kept it to myself.”

“I’ve never had a drawing done of me before,” he commented, unable to take his eyes off of your artwork. Felix stared at with with such glee and adoration that it almost knocked you off of your feet and he wasn’t even looking at you! “Thank you, Y/N, really. Ah… I’m never gonna to forget about this!”

[seanfalco]

I Caught Fire | Klaus Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k Prompt: (I can’t find the original prompt, but it was from the I wish you’d write a fic where... series) Klaus & y/n’s first time Requested by: Anonymous Warnings: smut, loss of virginity, awkward sex, oral sex a/n: This was sitting in my to write list for a while (I’m so sorry!)  Takes place in the PwF’verse, an extra scene from Klaus’s POV that takes place during Chapter 2 of Playing with Fire

It was strange being back at the mansion, all the memories from his youth he’d forgotten or purposefully blocked out kept sneaking up on him, rushing back to choke him at the most inappropriate moments.

Rubbing his kohl smudged eyes, Klaus reached for his clothes strewn abandoned across the parlor floor from the night before when he’d collapsed to the leather couch in naught but his underwear… was it even his?  He wondered for a moment, glancing down at the colourful leopard spotted pattern.  He honestly couldn’t seem to remember where it’d come from.

Shrugging, he dressed, ignoring Ben, and headed for his old room, where more memories were surely waiting for him.

As he stepped across the threshold he found, bingo! he was right, and he bit his lip as the memories assailed him, almost as annoying as the ghosts that hounded him and he wondered if he were high enough if he could drown those memories out too. 

These ones actually weren’t bad per se, but the pain they brought hurt so much worse.

“Ugh,” Klaus groaned heavily, throwing himself down on the bed and draping his arm over his face.  As tempting as it was, he didn’t exactly want to think about his first kiss, which had happened right where he lay, or the fact that the woman it had happened with happened to be downstairs at this very moment, and despite her hostility yesterday (which frankly, he deserved) he still wanted to kiss her.

Lifting his arm he sighed as his eyes found the scribbled lyrics on the wall nearby and his thoughts drifted to the very last time either of them had set foot in this room and what had come after. 

——

[ Twelve Years Ago ]

“You don’t hafta do this y’know.  The old man kicked me out, not you,” Klaus exclaimed as [y/n] ambled next to him, her bag of belongings slung over her shoulder, while he dragged his behind him.

“Are you kidding me?” she scoffed, “stick around that hellhole without you?  No, thank you.  You obviously don’t know me as well as you think you do,” she exclaimed, nudging him with her shoulder as he leaned into her.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here, my lovely partner in crime,” Klaus announced, pausing to reach into his jacket pocket, “because check what I nicked before we left,” he exclaimed, holding out the rather valuable trinkets he’d taken from the living room cabinet.

“And what’re you gunna do with those? [y/n] asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“Pawn them, duh,” he exclaimed, dropping the valuables back in his pocket and slinging his arm around [y/n]’s shoulder.

The money they got from their ill gotten gains was enough to pay for an upscale motel room for a couple nights -- long enough to figure out what to do from there, as well as a small baggie of pills Klaus carefully tucked into his jacket pocket.

“Ooh, swanky,” Klaus exclaimed as he pushed open the door to their room, and stepping inside, turned to make a flourish as he pulled [y/n] in after him.

“My dear, welcome to our palace!  Well, for the next five days, at least.”

[y/n]’s laughter warmed him and he grinned as he followed her in further, flopping down on the bed next to her as he bounced on it lightly where she sat.

“Hey, at least it’s comfortable,” she exclaimed, flopping back as well before turning her face to him.  “Now what d’you wanna do?”

“Order some take out, I’m starving,” Klaus replied, his stomach growling pointedly.

A couple hours later, empty takeout containers littered the dresser and nightstand while [y/n] and Klaus watched tv in a heap, content and comfortable.

“Hey [y/n],” Klaus murmured suddenly, catching her attention and she turned to him, propping her chin in her hand.  

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” he admitted, reaching out to take her hand and she smiled.

“Me too.  There’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” she murmured, threading her fingers with his.

For a long moment they merely stared at each other, Klaus’s pulse pounding in his ears as he wet his lips.  She was so close, all he had to do was lean in…

“Klaus,” [y/n] whispered, her eyes flicking up to meet his.

“Yeah?” he breathed, not daring to move.

“D’you wanna make out?” she asked, her lips curling impishly, drawing a grin to his face as well.

“You read my mind, sweetheart,” Klaus exclaimed, and before he knew it she was kissing him, her hands balled in his shirt, pulling him closer and he obliged, rolling atop her as his lips moved insistently against hers.

Acting on instinct, he drew his knee up between her legs as he hovered over her and she moaned into his mouth as she ground against his thigh, her tongue darting out to meet his in a somewhat sloppy dance.

Each time [y/n] writhed against him, Klaus could feel the crotch of his jeans grow tighter and he groaned, [y/n]’s soft moans in his ears certainly not helping matters.

“[y/n],” he murmured, pulling back to catch his breath, his voice husky.

“Hmm?” she hummed, shifting under him as she plucked at his shirt.

“Do you wanna, oh, I dunno…” Klaus trailed off, suddenly feeling foolish.

“Do I wanna… what?” she replied softly, biting her lip as she gazed up at him knowingly, clearly wanting him to say it.

“Nah, you wouldn’t want to,” he mused teasingly, a mischievous smirk tugging at his swollen lips at the pout that flashed across [y/n]’s face.

“Klaus!” she huffed, slipping her hands up under his shirt to run up his chest, sending a fresh wave of arousal through him.

“Oh, alright,” he relented, grinning hesitantly, “d’you wanna fool around?” he asked, holding his breath.

“I thought you’d never ask,” [y/n] breathed and Klaus groaned, half sitting up to help her push his shirt up over his head before his lips once more crashed against hers with a fresh sense of urgency.  As their tongues warred, hands groped, searching for flesh and tearing at clothes until they’d both undressed, [y/n] laid blessedly bare before him.

Klaus paused, letting his gaze roam over her, taking a moment to really see her, memorizing her every curve and swell.  He’d never seen her like this before, completely unclothed, and now that he had, he wished she never had to dress again.

“What?” [y/n] asked, flushing as she noticed him staring, attempting to cover herself with her arms, but he caught her wrists, lifting them so he could see her unhindered.

“No, don’t hide,” he murmured, awe coating his words and [y/n] turned her face to the side in embarrassment.

“Klaus!”

“What?” he asked, gently nudging her chin back toward him.  “You’re beautiful,” he murmured, catching her eyes.  “It’s a shame to cover this work of art!” he exclaimed, slowly running his hands down her warm skin, wanting to feel every inch of her.

A soft moan escaped her lips as she arched into his touch and he didn’t fail to notice the appraising way her half lidded eyes traversed his body in turn, causing him to blush this time.

His physique had never really been something he’d been proud of, thinking himself rather tall and gangly growing up, but the way [y/n] looked at him… he felt desirable.

“So, we gunna do this or what?” [y/n] asked, sighing as Klaus leant forward to kiss her again.

“Hell yeah,” he replied with a smirk, his hand trailing southward, to slip between her thighs, his fingers brushing her sex as she gasped.

“Jesus, you’re so wet,” he exclaimed with a groan, his cock twitching at just the thought of being buried in those slick folds soon enough.

“Wait!” [y/n] gasped, her eyes snapping open as if she’d just remembered something.

“What?  Something wrong?” he asked, worry clutching him that maybe she’d changed her mind already.

“No!” she exclaimed quickly, noticing the panic on his face.  “Just, uh… do you have a condom?” she asked.

Fuck.  Klaus’s dark limned eyes widened in horror, his mouth falling open.  “I don’t…” he admitted.  Was he really gunna get this far only to be cockblocked by his lack of condoms?

[y/n]’s laughter tore him out of his thoughts and he gaped at her.  “What the fuck’s so funny?” he yelped, his lips drawing into a pout which only made her laugh harder.

Pushing herself up, she placed a peck to his stunned lips -- wait, was she leaving?!  Reaching over the side of the bed, she grabbed her bag and began rummaging through it.

“What’re you doing?” he demanded weakly, confused, until [y/n] straightened, a small foil packet between her fingers.  

“Getting this,” she answered, flashing him a smirk.

“Why do you have a condom?” Klaus exclaimed, his brows drawing down as [y/n] giggled, patting his cheek.

“Because I had a feeling this would happen.”

“Wait, how long have you had that?  And how many do you have?” he asked incredulously, watching her eyes dart away.

“Does it matter?” she countered, but Klaus wasn’t ready to let this drop, crawling closer to where she knelt, pulling her into his arms.  “Just how long have you been thinking about jumping my bones, huh?” he pressed, amusement filling him at the evasive look in her eyes and the way her cheeks warmed.

“Klaus,” she groaned.

“No, I’m curious,” he exclaimed with a grin, pressing a quick kiss to her lips before resting his forehead against hers.

“A while, okay?” she mumbled, “and I may have bought a whole… box of them.”

“Oooooh,” Klaus exclaimed, laughter tinging his voice as he eased her to her back, plucking the condom wrapper from her hand as he stole a deep kiss.  “What would I do without you, my dear?” he exclaimed with a wink as he straightened.

Fumbling with the wrapper, his tongue peeked out between his teeth in concentration.  

“Do you need some help, Klaus?” [y/n] asked, fighting back a smile as she watched him struggle.

“I’ve got it!” he huffed, a little petulantly, which only made [y/n]’s grin grow and she took him by surprise as she sat back up, her hand wrapping round his cock, giving it an experimental stroke and Klaus nearly dropped the condom as the wrapper tore open, an involuntary moan springing from his lips.

“Holy fuck,” he gasped feebly.  

Giggling softly, [y/n] grabbed the condom, biting her lip as she pinched the end and slowly rolled the sides down his cock til he was covered.

“There, now you’re good to go,” she murmured with a smirk as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him down atop her.

In this position -- [y/n] naked below him, his cock wrapped in a condom, hovering at her entrance, it finally hit him what was about to happen and a wave of nerves washed over him.  What if he was bad?  What if he hurt her?  What if this changed things between them forever?

“A-are you ready?” he asked, noticing the apprehension radiating from her as well, but when his eyes found hers she nodded without hesitation.

“I’m ready.  I want this.  I want you,” she said, her voice firmer than his had been.

“Okay, well here we go then,” he exclaimed with a nervous laugh, his cock slipping as he tried to press into her, forcing him to reach between them and guide his overeager cock to her slick folds, his heart leaping into his throat at the way her breath hitched.

“You okay?” he asked, stopping abruptly.

“I’m fine,” she murmured, though she grimaced slightly as he continued to slide into her, the tightness of her walls clenching around him nearly more than he could handle.

“You sure?” Klaus pressed, his voice hoarse, before swallowing.

“Just, go slow,” she whispered, letting out a shuddering breath, her fingers clutching at his forearms.

Klaus nodded, taking a deep breath before moving again, his eyes nearly rolling up into his head at the sensation.  He’d never imagined being inside her would feel this good.  If he wasn’t careful he’d blow his load before even getting properly started and that was the last thing he wanted.  He wanted to make her feel good, to hear her screaming his name as she writhed beneath him, lost in a haze of pleasure he created. 

“God, you feel amazing, [y/n],” he gasped, pausing as he finally sheathed her completely, gazing down at her as he hovered somewhat stiffly over her.  “You still alright?”

She nodded, her hands sliding up his arms to hold his face, her thumb stroking his cheek as she wrapped her legs around his waist.  “Fuck me, Klaus.  Please.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Klaus said incredulously and he began to move.  Slowly.  Awkwardly.  Pulling out too far only to have to guide himself back in haltingly before resuming, thrusting slowly as he watched [y/n]’s face fervently, his heart pounding in his ears, pride filling him with each moan she let slip.

Her sounds egged him on and she began to roll her hips in time, meeting each thrust, his movements strengthening, his pace quickening as confidence filled him, losing himself in his pleasure until he realized with horror that all too soon he was about to come... and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

“Oh fuck,” he groaned, dropping his face to her neck as he came, his muscles tensing before he reluctantly lifted his face with a grimace.

“Did you just…?” [y/n] asked, frowning slightly and Klaus cleared his throat.

“Uh… yeah,” he admitted sheepishly, noticing the disappointment on her face, though she tried hard to hide it as he pushed himself up, discarding the used condom in the trash can next to the bed.  Biting his lip, he thought quickly, wanting to salvage the situation.  Things had not gone how he wanted at all and he didn’t want to leave [y/n] hanging for their first time.

Before she could sit up, Klaus turned back to her, holding her down as a thought came to him, his gaze roaming her body.

“Klaus?” she asked, confusion lacing her voice though hope flashed across her face for a moment.

“Oh no you don’t,” he chastised lightly, parting her legs and positioning himself between them.  “Did you really think I wasn’t gunna make sure you came too?” he asked, bringing an embarrassed grin to her lips and she covered her face with her hands.

“Yeah, no way, [y/n],” he exclaimed, teasing her folds with his fingers as he leaned over to plant a trail of kisses down her chest, taking the time now to memorize her body with his mouth, unsure if he was doing it right, but doing what felt good.

The supple feel of her warm flesh beneath his lips was nice, but the sounds she made as he neared his destination were enough to send arousal coursing through him again.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be good to go again soon, but first... there’s something I wanna try,” he mused against her skin, a nervous flutter filling his stomach at the thought of what he was about to do, hoping he’d be better at it than his first attempt at sex.

When his lips brushed against her sex she gasped, the sound sending a shiver through him and when his tongue hesitantly swiped up her folds to her clit she tensed beneath him, her hands clenching in the sheets.

“Fuck, Klaus--!” she moaned, her hips rolling against his face and he grinned at her response.

Fuck, but she tasted so good.  He’d never imagined that something could taste this heavenly.

Lapping eagerly, Klaus took his guide from her, trying several approaches before finding what she seemed to like, refocusing his efforts there til she was squirming beneath him, her hands moving from the sheets to bury in his short unruly curls.

His jaw was starting to tire, but he could tell she was close and he’d be damned if he gave up before finishing her, wanting desperately to watch her come undone, her moans alone driving him crazy.  Pausing for a moment to catch his breath Klaus dove back in, spreading her folds with one hands as he reached up her body to grope her breast roughly as he practically buried his face in her cunt, lapping broad unrelenting strokes against her clit as her cries grew louder, his cock growing hard again as he ground his hips against the bedding below him.

“Klaus, I’m--!” she didn’t even get the words out before she threw her head back with a high pitched whine, her whole body arching off the bed, pressing her cunt harder against his mouth, but he didn’t stop until she finally went limp beneath him, wanting to make sure she’d came.

Lifting his head, his face coated with her slick he met her gaze as she looked down at him, reaching for him, and Klaus quickly crawled back up to her, wiping his lips and chin with the back of his hand before laying next to her and pulling her into his arms.

“Klaus, that was…” she murmured, taking a deep breath as her eyes fluttered shut, her forehead pressing to his, “that was fucking amazing.”

“You like that?” he asked, pride filling him.  

“I really like that,” she answered, grinning up at him.

“Good,” he replied, squeezing her tighter.  “I didn’t completely fail.”

“Hey now,” she murmured, holding his face tightly between her hands.  “Don’t say that.”

“But--” he yelped, quickly quieting under her stern look.

“From what I can feel, you’re gunna be good to go again soon,” she pointed out, rubbing her thigh against his hardening cock and he flushed.  “Did it turn you on that much to eat me out?” she asked and Klaus quieted her with a kiss.

“Maybe,” he admitted, clearing his throat.  “But you’re right, I’ll be good to go again very soon, as long as you wanna give it another go?” he asked hesitantly.

“I do have a whole box of condoms,” [y/n] mused, raising her eyebrows as she regarded him, a grin playing at her lips.

“You do, don’t you,” Klaus agreed, smirking in turn.  “And we have this motel room for the next few days,” he pointed out, to which she nodded.  “I bet by the time we check out, we’ll be really good at this.”

[y/n] laughed, letting Klaus roll her to her back again, sighing as he plied her with kisses.

——

Opening his eyes, Klaus groaned, pushing himself up off his childhood bed with a grimace.  Now that [y/n] was definitely on his mind, he needed more than ever to find something to help dull those thoughts.  Shoving his hands in his coat pockets he rummaged through them, hoping there was at least one pill left.  

Finding none, he pushed himself up completely before ambling to the door and peering down the hall both ways.

Maybe he could find something else to pawn.

Heading in the direction of Five’s old room, he set to work scouring every nook and cranny for something, anything valuable -- needing just a little cash to chase a high.  Little did he know that the woman he was so desperately trying to get off his mind was about to catch him in the act, rendering any hope of escape completely useless.  

But really, he’d be lying if that wasn’t exactly what he wanted.

————————

Klaus Tag List: @magic-multicolored-miracle @midnightseance @etherealsxnder @iamsexytrash @orions-nebula @unlistedpond @remibarnes22 @slutforrobbiebro

[ceaderblocks]

Like Real People Do

A collab with @mine-sara-sp ! She drew the amazing art for this fic ♡ 

Iskall was in the middle of working on Sahara with Mumbo when he realized a very important, completely out-of-the-blue fact.

Iskall had been hanging around Mumbo for years before realizing they had never done a redstone grind together. Sure, they had gone End Busting and raided the Nether together, but they had never once strip mined for redstone.

“What a waste!” Iskall said out loud, slamming a shulker box down on the ground with much more force then required.

“What’s a waste?” Mumbo startled, looking at Iskall after his sudden outburst.

“You are!” Iskall gestured to Mumbo with both arms. The redstoner looked offended, and then a little hurt.

“Well, I think my skills are valuable and contribute greatly-“

“No, no, no no no,” Iskall cut him off. “You’re a magnet to redstone. You always seem to mine a bazillion shulker boxes-“

“It’s easy to find!”

“-and it’s a waste I haven’t gone mining with you. If we go together, you’ll do your weird redstone-attraction thing, and I’ll be set for the season! Plus, I need more for Sahara anyways.”

“... Do we need to go right now?”

“Yes,” Iskall said cheerfully, placing his hands on his hips. “I accidentally broke the last repeater I had when I slammed that shulker box down.”

Fifteen minutes later, Mumbo and Iskall found themselves underground in a long, hollow strip mine.

“Alright,” Iskall rubbed his hands together. “Let’s get mining! I’ll take the left side, you take the right.”

“What?” Mumbo asked, scrunching his nose in confusion. “Why?”

Iskall stared at Mumbo for a moment.

“So we can spread out and quicken out chances of finding redstone?” Iskall said, suddenly uncertain of his plan.

“Oh, well there’s a vein three blocks down and to the right,” Mumbo said, pointing in the general area he had just stated.

“Dude, what.”

“Can’t you feel it?” Mumbo asked.

“No! Oh my god, Mumbo,” Iskall squished his friend’s face between his hands. “How much redstone have you inhaled to get this superpower?”

“Well- I mean- well, you know,” Mumbo stuttered, gesturing wildly.

“Can you do this for other blocks?” Iskall asked, Mumbo’s face still in his hands.

Mumbo shook his head. “Just redstone.”

“That’s insane!” Iskall said with a laugh, dropping his hands. “You might want to get Xisuma to check that out, it doesn’t seem right.”

“Oh,” Mumbo said, his face falling. It was news to him that other hermits couldn’t detect redstone. Iskall said it was wrong, but Mumbo, from his first memory, could always sense redstone.

“It’s alright dude,” Iskall said, and threw an arm around Mumbo’s shoulder. “I don’t think it's an immediate health concern. Plus, we still have redstone to get!”

Iskall patted Mumbo’s chest with his free hand, spun away from him and pulled out his pickaxe in one smooth motion.

“Let’s get mining!”

Mumbo agreed nervously and directed Iskall where the nearest vein of redstone was.

That night, covered in redstone, Mumbo sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his red shulker box. It hummed with power, and Mumbo could see the faint outline of the redstone dust wrapped in a bag. He wondered why no one else could see it too.

——

Grian stood in front of Mumbo’s witch farm, humming to himself. He needed some goldstone (and gunpowder), and decided to borrow some while Mumbo was AFK. The problem was Mumbo was AFK inside the witch farm, which threw a very large wrench in Grian’s plan.

“I can sneak around while he’s AFK! It’ll be fiiine.” Grian said to himself. “It’s not like he’s awake.”

With his pep-talk out of the way, Grian opened the door to the farm. He immediately gave a small scream as he came face-to-face with Mumbo, staring directly at him.

“Oh!” Grian gave a nervous laugh. “Hey Mumbo! I was just coming to borrow some glowstone!”

Mumbo didn’t respond. In fact, he didn’t react at all. Grian frowned.

“Uh, hello? Mumbo?” The builder waved his hand in front of Mumbo’s face. The redstoner stared on, unblinking.

“Oh! You’re AFK? Who AFK’s with their eyes open?” Grian asked. Leaning forwards, he frowned.

“Don’t your eyes get dry?” Grian asked. “You really are AFK. I can basically see the loading screen in your brain.”

Grian scoffed, and stood back. Then he frowned, and leaned forwards. Now that he was looking, there was something in Mumbo’s eyes. It didn’t seem like a reflection, either. As Grian looked closer, he could see three circles ellipsing themselves, moving constantly to create a sphere shape.

“Huh, it kinda looks like a screensaver,” Grian said, tilting his head and leaning in closer to admire Mumbo’s eyes.

“Kinda like NPC rebooting...” Grian muttered. He was much too close, their noses almost touching when Mumbo suddenly blinked, the sphere shrinking and being replaced with a pupil. Grian shrieked and jumped back, but Mumbo didn’t respond for a moment, robotically blinking again before giving his head a small shake, emotion returning to his face.

“Grian!” He said. “What’re you doing- hey, are you okay? You look kind of pale.”

“Oh! I, uh,” Grian waved his hands around, trying to come up with an excuse why he had been nose-to-nose with Mumbo. “I was, uh, stealing glowstone?”

“Oh, you just had to ask.” Mumbo said, unfazed.

“Wait, do you not…” Grian paused. Mumbo had a terrible poker face, and would tease Grian mercilessly about this interaction. But he wasn’t. It was almost like he wasn’t aware it had happened, which was impossible.

NPC sometimes takes a few moments to reboot and never remembers the first 5 seconds of waking up. A rogue thought in Grian’s head provided.

But NPC was a machine, and Mumbo was not, and Grian was a little thrown off by the whole thing.

“Gri?” Mumbo asked, looking concerned.

“You know what? I just remembered I had some at home. Bye!” Grian said hurriedly, snatching rockets from his inventory and flying off.

“What in the world was that?” Grian asked himself, a large frown on his face and worry in his mind. “People don’t need to reboot.”

——

The more Grian thought about his interaction, the more concerned he became. He knew how robots acted, and Mumbo was not a robot. Uncapping his marker, Grian set to work writing everything down on his large whiteboard.

Robotic Traits. He wrote, underlining the title.

Robotic Movements

Rebooting when AFK or offline

Monotone or simple emotions

Overly polite

Grian paused, and added a smaller bullet point under the last.

(except when trying to kill me or take over the server)

He started on his next list, switching to a red marker and drawing an arrow from each robotic point to an explanation of why Mumbo Jumbo couldn’t possibly be a robot.

Mumbo Jumbo

Robotic Motions -> He’s just lanky and exhausted most of the time

Rebooting when AFK or offline -> dissociation(?)

Monotone or simple emotions -> mumbo is deadpan

Overly Polite -> ???

(except when trying to kill me or take over the server)

Grian sighed. His answers weren’t very convincing to anyone, let alone his own paranoia. He had been killed and kidnapped by both NPC Grian and Robot Grian in the past, and he couldn’t get Mumbo’s AFK loading icon out of his head. What if Mumbo wasn’t really a robot, but had been replaced by his own copy? What if this mechanical copy of his friend was trying to overtake the server? What had it done with the real Mumbo?

How long had the real Mumbo been gone for?

“Dude,” Iskall said, breaking Grian out of his spiraling thoughts. “What is… this?”

“It’s, uh,” Grian paused, trying to think of an explanation. “Well, I think Mumbo has been kidnapped and replaced by an evil machine counterpart.”

“...What?” Iskall said, letting out a nervous chuckle upon seeing how serious Grian was.

“No! Seriously!” Grian grabbed Iskall’s shoulders. “Listen, I’ve been replaced by robots many times in my past-”

“ You Have!?”

“-And I know what they act like! Seriously, Mumbo is always jerky and uncoordinated, just like Robot Grian. He’s suspiciously polite, almost like manners have been programmed into him! Plus I saw him wake up from AFK just a few hours ago, Iskall, it wasn’t natural. He rebooted.”

Iskall stared at him for a moment, gathering his thoughts.

“Well,” He finally settled on saying, gently removing Grian’s hands from his shoulders. “That certainly is a theory.”

“You don’t believe me?” Grian cried, wrapping his arms around his torso, clearly distressed.

“Woah, woah,” Iskall said, “It’s not that I don’t believe you! It would explain Mumbo’s weird redstone mining.”

“His what?”

“He can, like, see it through blocks. It was so strange. He could also feel it when it was deeper,” Iskall said, deep in thought. “It was very useful when we were mining it, but it was very odd.”

“Oh my god,” Grian muttered, and sat down on a nearby shulker box. “He’s a machine. Mumbo’s been replaced.”

“Oh Grian,” Iskall placed a comforting hand on Grian’s back. “Let’s not jump ahead, okay? Why don’t we get more information first?”

Grian brought his head from his hands and nodded in silent agreement. He just prayed that Mumbo wasn’t suffering like he had.

----

Embarrassingly enough, it took Mumbo almost a week to notice Grian’s silence and avoidance of him. No more Sahara meetings were called, and Grian often said the bare minimum to him. Uncomfortable, Mumbo brought it up to Iskall once while they worked on Sahara together.

“Hey Iskall?”

“Hmm?” his friend responded, chest deep in a shulker box.

“Is… Is Grian mad at me?”

Iskall’s head hit the top of the box, and he let out a short curse. “Why would you think that?”

“I feel like he’s been avoiding me. Since he swung by my witch farm last week, actually.” Mumbo said, frowning. If he said something that made Grian angry or uncomfortable, he wanted to apologize for it.

“Nah,” Iskall said with a lackluster shrug. If Mumbo had been paying attention he would’ve seen the sweat on Iskall’s brow. “I think he’s just busy.”

“Oh,” Mumbo said.

“Speaking of busy,” Iskall stood. “I’ve got to go grab more redstone. I’m out. See you in a bit!”

“Okay,”  Mumbo said, his friend flying off with a wave.

Biting his lip, Mumbo noticed Iskall left his Redstone shulker box. They had just gone redstone mining a week ago, had Iskall run out that quickly? Mumbo opened the shulker box (not that he needed to) but he hoped the red outline he could see around it would be wrong for once.

He inhaled sharply.

It was full.

Sighing, Mumbo closed it. He decided that instead of overthinking why his friends were suddenly ignoring him and lying to him, he’d work on redstone instead.

Redstone, at least, was easily fixable.

-----

Cleo stood in front of Sahara, her face scrunched in an unpleasant emotion. Something in the shopping district stunk, and she followed her nose to find out what. It had led her to the redstone part of Sahara, overwhelming her senses.

It wasn’t a stench that could be smelt by normal hermits. She knew it well, it was her own. It was the stench of magic overworking itself to keep something alive.

Whatever this magic was keeping alive, it was working very, very hard.

“Hello?” She called out. “Wow, you guys need an air freshener in this place- oh! Mumbo!”

“Hello, Cleo!” Mumbo said cheerfully.

Cleo smiled, watching the redstone-covered hermit approach. Then she frowned.

“Mumbo, you smell dead.” Cleo said. “Well, not dead. You smell... un-alive.”

“I- wow. I don’t know what to say.” Mumbo said with an awkward laugh.

Cleo leaned closer, taking an intense sniff. Mumbo leaned backwards, a little uncomfortable.

“Yeah. It’s you.” Cleo confirmed. “What’re you working on?”

“Oh, uh... redstone?” Mumbo said, gesturing to himself, very confused with the whole scenario. His usually neat suit was covered in redstone, the red dust already settled in his hair.

“Are Grian and Iskall here?” Cleo asked. Mumbo made a face at that.

“Uh, no, actually. I haven’t seen them in a while.”

“How long is a while?” Cleo asked, pushing past Mumbo and walking into the redstone circuitry.

“Oh, uh, maybe two weeks?” Mumbo said, frowning and fiddling with a ring on his finger.

“Huh,” Cleo said. “It’s because you need a shower.”

“Excuse me?” Mumbo said.

“Seriously, you smell like redstone and overheating code.”

“I showered this morning, thank you!” Mumbo said, a little angry.

“Then why,” Cleo turned and poked Mumbo in the chest, a small amount of redstone poofing off his suit. “Do you smell like an overheating machine?”

“I don’t-“ Mumbo stopped talking when Cleo took another long sniff.

“Mumbo, are you human?” She asked suddenly.

“What-“ Mumbo was furious. “Yes! Of course I am! God Cleo, what is wrong with you?”

Mumbo grabbed rockets from his inventory with much more aggression then they probably deserved. He lit one and flew off before Cleo could get another word in, and the Zombie watched him go, unbothered by his words.

“I guess I should see X,” Cleo muttered to herself, the scent lightening as Mumbo flew away.

——

NPC Grian usually kept to himself. He had a small plot of land that he had built outside the Hermit’s main map, not to be undiscovered, but to be peaceful. Hermits swinging by to say hello was not uncommon, and Grian came by every week or so to catch him up with whatever chaos had happened.

NPC was not surprised to hear a knock at his front door on a stormy, Thursday night. Grian often stayed when it stormed. He was a little surprised to see a soaked Mumbo standing at his door instead.

“Hello, Mumbo Jumbo.”

“Hey NPC.” Mumbo said, shivering slightly in the rain. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“Of course,” NPC said, stepping to the side and letting the redstoner in. As Mumbo passed, a line of stats popped into NPC’s view, as it did for all hermits.

Name: Mumbo Jumbo

Species: Machine

Level: 54

Health: 20/20

Staus: Online

Role: Player

“Thanks. Sorry for invading, I needed somewhere without any Hermits.” Mumbo apologized.

“I understand,” NPC said, handing Mumbo a blanket and a towel. Mumbo smiled appreciatively, taking the towel and scrunching his hair dry. The dark, normally neat locks fell around his face, highlighting how pale Mumbo actually was.

“Sometimes humans get a little overwhelming,” NPC smiled, and Mumbo paused, a confused look coming over his face. NPC waited for his response.

“Uh, yeah.” Mumbo finally settled on saying, removing his suit jacket. “I guess we can.”

We? NPC mentally filed away the way Mumbo had used that language.

“Would you like some tea?” NPC offered instead, guiding Mumbo to the couch.

“Oh, yes please.” Mumbo said, all but collapsing into the cushions. The large fireplace in front of him was flickering, the fire strong but not overpowering.

NPC didn’t say anything while he made two cups of camomile tea, letting the clinking of cups and the whisper of the fire fill the air. Mumbo seemed much more relaxed by the time NPC came in, wrapped in blankets and eyes half-lidded.

“Your tea,” NPC said, offering the mug. Mumbo reached to grab it. “Careful not to spill it, you’ll fry yourself.”

Mumbo paused, retracting his hands. “Fry?”

“Your circuits,” NPC said, as if it was common knowledge, and he shoved the mug into Mumbo’s hands.

“I don’t have circuits?” Mumbo said, thoroughly confused. “You sound like Cleo. She said I smelt like an overheating machine.”

NPC hummed at that, realizing a few things at once.

One:  Mumbo has been confronted by Zombie Cleo about his origin, and most likely ran away from that conversation if the knock at my door meant anything.

Two:  Mumbo’s friends are starting to realize he might not be human.

Three: Mumbo does not realize that he is not human.

Four: Mumbo Jumbo must be malfunctioning if he is unaware that he is a machine.

A reset should fix that problem.

“Mumbo,” NPC said and sat next to him. If Mumbo thought he was human, NPC would have to treat him like that. “What made Zombie Cleo think that?”

Mumbo scoffed. “She said that I smelt ‘un-alive’ and like a ‘machine’. And redstone! That one was probably true though. It’s just like Grian the other day! He came over to get glowstone while I was AFK, and when I woke up he was a few feet away and super flushed. He said something about rebooting, and then flew off before grabbing glowstone!”

NPC took the mug from Mumbo’s hands as the redstoner got more animated when speaking.

“Oh! And then Iskall! We went redstone mining and he said he couldn’t see the redstone under the blocks, but he must be able too, because he always has lots of redstone too! He acted the whole trip like he didn’t know where it was, which, frankly, it just rude. Now Grian and Iskall have been ignoring me!”

Mumbo huffed and sat back. NPC handed him his mug again, and Mumbo took a very long sip.

“Thank you, NPC.” Mumbo finally said after a minute. “For listening. And also the tea.”

“Of course,” NPC said with a gentle smile. “Can I suggest a solution?”

“You have one?” Mumbo said, thoroughly confused.

“Of course. You just need a reset.”

“Not you too! Now you’re talking to me with weird machine terms that I know you don’t use those with Grian!”

NPC frowned. It was worse than he thought.

“That is because Grian is not a machine.”

Mumbo stared at him a moment, before placing his mug down and standing abruptly.

“Thank you, NPC. I have to go.” Mumbo headed towards the door when a strong grip caught his wrist. NPC tightened it as Mumbo struggled against it.

“Mumbo, when you get to respawn, don’t restart right away.”

“NPC, let me go!”

“Listen to me,” NPC said. “Don’t respawn right away. Just wait until you feel ready.”

“I don’t control respawn!” Mumbo said, his voice rising in fear. He desperately tried to break NPC’s grip, but his exterior was not made of metal as the builder’s was.

“Good luck, Mumbo Jumbo.” NPC said, and summoned a sword into his hand.

“NPC, no-!”

< MumboJumbo was slain by NPC_Grian >

——

Mumbo reached the void and was filled with panic. Immediately he went to hit the large, looming ‘Respawn’ button out of muscle memory. Right as his fingers brushed the lettering, he stopped.

He stayed still and waited as if he expected some invisible force to push his hand on the button, but nothing happened.

He always thought he had to respawn immediately, but here he was, hand hovering over the option as time ticked on.

The other hermits just woke up in their beds, he was sure of that. He moved his hand from the looming button, and took a deep breath.

Something else to add to the list of odd things about himself.

NPC said he could wait until he felt better, right? Besides, he had a lot to think about. Iskall and Grian were ignoring him anyways, and he didn’t really want to see Cleo or NPC. He could just wait a few minutes and collect his thoughts. Nothing bad could possibly happen, he was already dead.

He’d just stay here for a while. Just enough to collect his thoughts. Then he’d go back.

Just a few minutes.

Just a few...

----

Xisuma had never felt so much anxiety in his life. Having been an Admin for ten or so years, he was pretty adept at solving all problems. Evil counterpart destroying the server? Xisuma could deal with it. Bugs and code problems? He could do it in his sleep.

A server player being killed and not respawning for two days despite there being no bugs and his code being perfect? Xisuma was out of luck.

“God damn it!” He swore, covering his face in his hands and inhaling sharply. The line of code he had run had failed to bring Mumbo back, the redstoner still being stuck in respawn void.

Mumbo had been quite a character in Xisuma’s last few weeks. Iskall had come first, worried about Mumbo’s health when the man could apparently sense redstone through solid blocks. A few days later Grian had swung by, babbling feverishly that Mumbo had been replaced by a robot and was up to nothing good.

Xisuma had brushed both off with a gentle smile and a ‘I’ll look into it, thanks for letting me know’.

He wasn’t able to ignore when Cleo walked through his door three days ago, claiming Mumbo smelt un-alive. This very much caught Xisuma’s attention, and he sat her down to get her to explain everything.

Only an hour later the death message had come across his screen.

< MumboJumbo was slain by NPC_Grian >

Grian whispered to Xisuma: See! Even NPC realized Mumbo was replaced! Or worse, NPC is orchestrating the entire thing. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Xisuma left a concerned Cleo, teleporting immediately to Mumbo’s spawn point, waiting anxiously for the redstoner to reappear.

He waited.

And waited.

Xisuma sent a message to Mumbo.

Waited some more.

And then realized something was very wrong, teleported to his base and started working on Mumbo’s code.

“Okay, another try. Then a break.” Xisuma muttered to himself. He had been awake for far too long, but he needed to figure out what was wrong for Mumbo not to respawn. He couldn’t have the other Hermits panicking if something was wrong with respawn.

A gentle knock at his door brought Xisuma out of his thoughts. Standing and stretching, Xisuma walked over to the door, and opened it to find NPC Grian. He immediately took a step back. Grian’s messages creeping in the back of his mind.

“NPC Grian! It’s... good to see you.” Xisuma smiled, trying to look friendly, forgetting for the most part his helmet didn’t show his mouth. “It’s been a while.”

“Indeed it has, Xisuma Void.” NPC said, as emotionless as always. “May I come in?”

“Oh! Actually it’s not really a good moment,” He muttered closing the door slightly.  “There’s just a huge mess, I’ve been-“

“Trying to bring Mumbo Jumbo back from respawn?” NPC interrupted.

“... Yes, actually.” Xisuma said, a little wary.

“There's no point in forcing him back.” NPC leaned in closer and patted Xisuma’s shoulder. “He’ll come back when he wants to.”

“Sorry,” Xisuma asked, confused. “But how do you know this?”

“Because he is like me.” NPC said. “If you need him back sooner, I can go get him.”

Xisuma decided to ignore the first part of NPC’s statement and the suspicions around him. He opened the door and let the robot come in. “Would you go get him? Everyone’s worried.”

“Of course. Set Mumbo Jumbo’s spawn point here-“ NPC put down two beds, and gestured to the bed on the right. “And I will set mine here. Then, kill me.”

Xisuma took a moment to fully digest the plan.

“And then what?”

“Well, then I will talk to Mumbo Jumbo and bring him back.”

“Oh,” Xisuma said, grateful for the apparently easy solution put before him. He was exhausted and decided that NPC was his best shot at this point even if there was the chance it might be a trap or something. If NPC tried to take over the server like Ex did he could deal with that later. He had already tried fixing every line of code of Mumbo’s, and he had nothing to lose.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, and I already set my respawn.” NPC said.

Xisuma nodded, and brought up Mumbo’s code again. He changed the respawn to the nearby bed, and then closed the menu, drawing out a sword.

“Are you ready?” Xisuma asked.

NPC nodded.

< NPC_Grian was slain by Xisumavoid >

--

Being dead wasn't so bad.

Well, he wasn't really dead right now. Dead in the overworld, maybe, but not dead here, even if it wasn't clear where here was.

Was it respawn void? It didn't really matter.

Strangely, Mumbo felt better and better the more he stayed there, suspended into nothing with the looming respawn button hovering not too far away from him.

It was odd, resting here. Mumbo felt as if he had taken the longest sleep. Compared to how he usually slept, it felt like he had never once truly rested in his life up until that point.

Mumbo felt rejuvenated, his mind sharp like he could go and rebuild all the machines in Sahara from the ground up in a week.

Strange how NPC was right apparently.

Just about respawn. Mumbo reminded himself.

There must be some other explanation for all the weird things going on. Regardless of all the strange things that had happened, he wasn't a machine.

Mumbo would have noticed, it's not like he was born a week ago.

The redstoner felt ready to go back to the server, even if he would have had to talk with Grian and Iskall about why they were avoiding him. Also talk with Cleo… Maybe she was just having a weird zombie flu? It’s the only reason Mumbo could come up with for why she was smelling weird stuff.

It’s okay, it was just a weird couple of weeks! It happens.

Mumbo looked at the button ready to press it. He reached out and - wait.

Didn't he use to have fingers and hands?

He would have blinked but he realized he didn't have any eyes that needed blinking. He didn't have a mouth to speak, ears to hear anything, arms or legs.

He should have been terrified, but strangely enough something very, very deep in his mind felt almost comfortable with this sudden realization.

Which, arguably, was the really terrifying part.

He was reduced to… nothing? No, he was still something. He wasn't sure what. He felt immense but not really, like he'd always been wearing something too tight and only now he could finally stretch out.

His body…

His body didn't fit what he actually was.

What was he?

He was human! Right? Right?!

This void was just messing with his head. It must be--

"Are you ready to come back yet?” A familiar monotone voice spoke.

--

Xisuma watched the beds with bated breath. A few minutes passed and panic filled his chest, quickly becoming overwhelming.

“Shit,” Xisuma said, pulling up the Admin menu again. Fingers hovering uselessly over the keyboard, Xisuma didn’t even know where to begin. Should he access NPC’s code first? Try and drag him back? But it hadn’t worked on Mumbo, and NPC was not a traditional player.

Thankfully, he didn’t have to enter any code, as NPC and Mumbo respawned on the bed. NPC sat up and gave Xisuma a emotionless thumbs up while Mumbo clutched his chest and rolled to his side, coughing.

“Mumbo!” Xisuma rushed to his side, rubbing his friends back.

“He’s alright,” NPC said. “It takes a moment to adjust back into a body. I go through it too after extended time in respawn. Being a machine forced into a flesh cage is very difficult sometimes.”

“I don’t…” Xisuma said, brain blanking after that information. “Okay, I’m going to ignore that. How do you spend so much time in respawn?”

“Machines are not affected the same way humans are.” NPC said.

“Shut up!” Mumbo wheezed, and pushed Xisuma away, stumbling from the bed. “I’m not a machine! Stop saying I am!”

“But you are.” NPC said, almost sounding confused.

“Okay,” Xisuma said, reaching towards Mumbo. “Regardless if you are, are you okay?”

“Regardless?” Mumbo squeaked, voice rising in anger. “Xisuma, you can’t be siding with them! Everyone has been treating me weird and now he says I'm a machine, and I’m not!”

“Mumbo-”

“No! There’s no proof! Everyone is just imagining things!”

NPC sighed, and brought up Mumbo’s code, displaying it for everyone to see.

Name: Mumbo Jumbo

Species: Machine

Level: 1

Health: 20/20

Staus: Online

Role: Player

“Okay, so, you get very different stats than me. ” Xisuma said. “But that doesn’t matter- It’s okay, Mumbo. Not everyone on the server is human. Hell, I’m barely human myself.”

“No,” Mumbo muttered to himself. “No! It’s not right!”

"Why can't it be that you're not hum-"

"Because I bleed!" Mumbo shouted. "I bleed and I cry and I get headaches and I get sick and all these stupid things that make me human!"

He tried to rub away some tears forming in his eyes as he continued shouting. "I can't just be a machine all of the sudden! It doesn't make any sense. I can’t be!"

There was silence, and for a moment no one knew what to say. The only sound was Mumbo's erratic breathing, muffled slightly by the hands covering his face.

Then NPC stepped over and patted Mumbo on the shoulder, which felt almost mocking.

"Silly! All those things only mean your body is human. Being a machine goes a little bit deeper."

Mumbo’s hands dropped, and the man looked exhausted.

“Mumbo,” Xisuma took a step closer, and Mumbo took a step back, hitting a wall. Uncertainty and confusion flitted across his face. “Please. Mumbo, not being human doesn’t lessen your worth. We still love you.”

There was a long silence, and finally Mumbo leaned against the wall, sliding to the ground and placing his head onto his knees. Xisuma sat beside him, hesitating for only a moment before pulling Mumbo into a side hug.

“I hate this.” Mumbo muttered.

“I know.” Xisuma said.

“It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know.”

“I am human. I have a human body, NPC said so. I’m human.” Mumbo said, sounding unconvincing to even himself.

“It will be okay, Mumbo.” Xisuma said, praying that it would.

Mumbo said nothing, hoping with all his heart that tomorrow, when he woke up, it would be nothing but a feverish dream. That he had worked on redstone a little too hard for a little too long and had fallen into some strange lucid dream. Mumbo felt Xisuma rub his arm lightly, the up and down movements calming.

“It’ll be okay.” He said again.

Mumbo had no choice but to trust him.

[may-b-a-u-shewritestoo]

Lady in Gold

It’s just a date at the Neue Galerie. That’s all it is, right?

Rating: M

Word count; 3,062

Warning/Includes: fluffy fluff, exhibitionism, slight choking, fingering, unprotected sex, slight breeding kink if you squint I guess?!

A satin tea dress, a mellow golden. It flowed to just below your knees, and it had been paired with nude block sandals. A simple yet elegant jewelled clip held a side of your hair back and you felt.. beautiful. This date had been planned for a while, he had said to meet him on the corner of 5th and 86th Street; you would look out for him, he would be in a brown suit. The night was young, the sun just beginning to set over the skyline. You’d wonder if he would be there earlier than you, or if he was barely going to come at all. These must be normal nerves, the churning feeling flowing around your stomach; it was just a date.

Clement and peaceful, the last streams of daylight laid upon your skin as you leant against a tree outside the building. Skimming your eyes against the array of people departing and arriving at the gallery; they finally landed on the tall figure ambling towards you. A soft smile, reflective aviator glasses and the brown suit. It was him. His own masterpiece, he gave a small wave as he grew closer. The faint scents of coconut, coffee and cologne overwhelmed your senses as you managed to stutter out a soft ‘Hi Matthew’.

‘Y/N hey! I’m glad you found this place okay, sometimes people end up on the wrong end of the mile.’ he exclaimed, waving behind him at the never ending street.

‘I’m that person, what should’ve been a 15 minute walk turned out a hell of a lot longer.’ you giggled out.

‘Well hey, we made it in time for the private slot, should we head inside?’ you nodded, and intertwined your arm around the one he held out for you. There was a way that he held you tightly against his side that felt as though you were fragile and he didn’t want you to fall and break. As he mentioned to one of the guards inside you were here for a private viewing, you couldn’t help but stare up at him with veneration. A king couldn’t hold the grace and charm he could.

You’d been meandering for a while, stopping to talk about Werkstätte accessories and admiring the vintage fashion. You were excited to get to the portraits. A favourite of yours was on display, Klimt’s portrait of Adele Bloch-Bauer. Filled to the brim with facts and knowledge on his art, there was a passion in your eyes as you tugged his arm towards the exhibition you’d been waiting for. Placing your clutch bag on a nearby seat you almost skipped up to the portrait.

‘Wow,’ you breathed out, ‘it’s even more beautiful than I imagined. The gold just hits different when it’s not on a phone screen huh.’

He stood behind you a few steps, observing and listening to your spirited words and facts. The way you vehemently expressed yourself started to get into his bloodstream, every time you said something new, turned to look back at him; goosebumps arose across his forearms and the back of his neck. He sauntered quietly and slowly closer to you, gently placing a hand on each of your hips. Inhaling abruptly, you didn’t stop exuding truths about the painting before you.

[[MORE]]

‘The painting was handed down to Adeles family members, but the Nazis stole it in 1941. After quite a long journey through multiple agencies, it was bought in 2006 and displayed. I’m literally speechless that it’s in front of me - ah!’ Matthew had pulled your hair to one side as you were speaking, slowly leaving open mouthed kisses to your exposed neck. His grip had tightened on your hips, subsequently beginning to run one hand up your body; the fingers coming up to grip your chin and turning your head to look back at him.

‘Do you know how beautiful you sound?’ he muttered, eyes travelling from your glossed lips up to meet yours. Maybe two centimetres between each set of lips and breath fanning against each other had changed the mood immediately. ‘It, uh, it really is my favourite piece. I could stay here and look at it - all- all night.’ Stumbling over your words, you kept your gaze on Matthew, as he lowered his hand a little; the slender yet gentle fingers contradicting themselves by squeezing the sides of your throat slightly.

‘I could say the same thing about you. This pretty dress, on such a pretty girl. I know which lady in gold I’d rather stare at.’ Smiling gently, he pulled you closer and pressed his lips against yours, breathing getting deeper when you whimper against his mouth.

Reaching your arm behind you to hold the back of his head, his other arm held you flush against him. It wasn’t dirty, it wasn’t rough; but it was a higher level of passionate that you wouldn’t usually show in such a public area. You wondered if there was a subtle message in Matthew reserving the museum for a private tour, instead of the romantic gesture it had seemed to be.

‘Was this your plan the whole time? To win me over with my favourite art and fuck me in the middle of the gallery?’ you breathed out, pushing back into him and curving your hips upwards into his. The satin of your dress was thin enough to feel the coarseness of his trousers and the cool metal of the belt holding them up. Matthew’s breath hitched beside your ear and he bit down on your lobe. Quickly clutching at your hips again, he ground his hips down into you and mustered out a small grunt at the contact. ‘I bet you’d like that huh? Already pushing up against me, needy little thing.’

The quiet moan that left your lips woke you up out of the sudden delirium you had fallen into, remembering where you were. ‘We’ll get into trouble.’ Matthew let out a condescending chuckle into your ear, a hand beginning to ruche the fabric upwards at the front of your dress. ‘Your body tells me you aren’t at all that worried, y/n. I bet you won’t feel as worried once I bring my fingers a little higher hm?’ He read your body language like a book. You were leaning into him, your hips bucking and following his hands. You were completely under his spell, entranced by the gentle but somehow rough feel of his fingers growing closer and closer to where you wanted him. Until he pulled them away.

‘No fuck please-‘ whining, you turned around to see why the sudden halt on his movements. He’d walked a few steps backward to the leather spectator couch in the middle of the room, sat down with legs spread; watching to see if you’d get the hint. ‘Come and sit on my lap baby. I want you to be comfortable when you’re talking.’ He smirked, knowing full well his actions were going to cause your brain to falter and words to fade away. Slowly walking towards him, you lifted your dress slightly to be able to straddle yourself across his lap; frowning when he spoke a stern, ‘no.’ He wiggled his finger in a circle, indicating he wanted you to face away from him.

Two could play at this teasing game.

Spinning around gently, you still lifted your dress before sitting down on him, giving him a slight peek of the white lace garments underneath. Judging by the way he pulled your hips down hard against him, you knew he saw the underwear. Leaning your back against his chest, he flopped his chin against your shoulder and gave a sweet peck on your cheek. All of these cute gestures couldn’t foreshadow the sheer vulgarity of what he was about to do; if there had been anyone in the room with you, they would’ve thought you two were adorable. He leant back, pulling you with him and the front of your dress up to mid-thigh. Trailing his fingers underneath the thin, yellow material, he ran his middle digit along your slit, feeling the damp patch that had formed on the even thinner lace. ‘I knew it. Filthy little slut. Was it me or Klimt who did this huh?’ he chuckled, gripping your hip when you tried to push against his finger. All you could let out was pathetic whines, and attempt to manoeuvre his finger inside you.

‘Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you sweetheart. You were spitting out facts a minute ago, where have all your words gone?’ he said, the condescending tone not helping your situation at all. ‘Please, I need, fuck, I need your fingers Matthew please.’ you begged, head falling back into his shoulder and hands gripping his arm that was around your waist. ‘Wow, you managed to ask so nicely too. Good girl.’ The sudden dominance he portrayed had you completely at his mercy, feeling nothing but a dull throbbing inside that you knew he could provoke. Stroking up and down your lips slightly to gather up your essence, he hooked his middle finger inside you so deep, so harshly you mewled out loudly; Matthew promptly covering your mouth and smiling into your hair. He nudged his index finger into you, curling the two together up against the spot that made your legs tighten around his wrist. He pulled them back open again and held them in that position, trusting you to be quiet. He wasn’t messing around; quick to thrust and curve his fingers upwards until your thighs began to shake against his arm. ‘Shit Matthew, i’m close already, please.’ you tried unsuccessfully to say it quietly, but the feeling he brought you came on so intensely you felt he needed warning. ‘Fuck yes, you’re so good to me. Letting me play with your pretty cunt right here in the open. Are you gonna come for me? I want you to fucking break baby. Come.’ He sped up his fingers, the wiggle of his fingertips against the spot, mixed with his palm grinding against your clit; the uncivilised words he growled into your ear had you gone. The hand returned to your mouth as you moaned and whimpered too loudly, bucking against his fingers, arching your back and gripping your fingernails into his legs as you came.

Matthew bit his lip and smiled into your neck as he drew out your orgasm, cock at its hardest as he felt your cunt tightening sporadically around his fingers. He needed you here and now. This beautiful woman spread across his lap, desperate and needy under his touch. How tight you got when you released onto his hand, the way you breathed out his name. If he could take you like that in this room, he’ll take you on his cock now too. Withdrawing his fingers from you and abruptly pushing them into you mouth, he pushed your hips forward a little so he could pull himself out of his trousers. You’d barely recovered from the intensity of the orgasm when you tasted yourself on your tongue, moaning around his fingers and curling your tongue around the tips. ‘Gonna take you right here baby, can’t wait anymore. Can you lift your dress a little higher for me?’ Trembling out a moan, you bunched your dress up around your hips, letting the spare material fall to the front so as not to expose yourself too much, which seemed ridiculous given the previous activity. ‘That’s it pretty girl. Sit yourself down on me, I want you to take as much as you can okay?’ the condescension had left his voice this time, his voice had become lower and exuded urgency.

Matthew lifted up your hips whilst you balanced your hands on his knees, bringing your legs together in between his. He grasped the base of his cock, pulling the lace to the side before coating himself in you. Pressing against your hole, wanting you to do the rest. You gasped as you glided down onto him, the lips parting and taking him in entirely. He was so thick and hard, you had to wiggle your hips side to side to fit him inside. ‘Shit, you’re so fucking big Matthew. Can’t take it all.’ He was just past halfway and already you felt so full. Matthew’s eyes had hooded and glazed over watching your pretty pussy taking him in, he ran a hand over your exposed cheek and gripped it tightly, pulling you down further.

‘Yes you fucking can, you can and you will. I know you can do it baby. Make me feel good, that’s it.’ You cried softly as he had you bear down completely on him. He was fully inside you, pushing against your cervix. It felt so good even just sitting still on him, let alone the pleasure it brought when you pulled up and back down again. His hands pushed and pulled you back and forth slowly and gently onto him, hitting special parts of you with every thrust. ‘Matthew please, please I just-‘ ‘Please what baby? Fuck-‘ ‘I just want you to fuck me properly please.’

He purred out a deep moan and laid back against the couch, you laid flat upon his chest again. He spread his legs a little more to give him leeway to fuck up into you easier, the pace at an allegro. Rolling his eyes back and biting his lip, he couldn’t get over the entire position you were both in. This wasn’t discreet anymore; no one could see where the two of your bodies met, but he was fucking up into you so hard, one arm wrapped tightly around your stomach, your head against his shoulder with the other hand covering your mouth. It was obvious this man was fucking this woman in the middle of an exhibition, in a gallery in New York. ‘God you feel so fucking tight around me, I can’t hold on much longer. You close for me?’ He sputtered out into your ear, looking at your face to see you nodding and eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. ‘Want you to rub that pretty clit for me, make yourself come on my cock. Use me, I’m all yours baby.’ he said through gritted teeth, growing closer and closer to just letting go. He wanted to feel those spasms around his cock before he did though. You held onto the hand over your mouth, and used your other hand to rub quick and hard circles on your clit, teetering on the edge. Tears began to line the brim of your eyes, everything becoming super overwhelming. Being fucked in front of your favourite painting, out in public, by the sexiest man you’d ever seen and felt, the strength of how he held onto you, pushed into you had you right there.

‘You’re right there baby, I can feel it. Let it fucking go for me, good girl, that’s it.’ The deep, raspy voice in your ear was all you needed to burst out in pleasure. You rubbed faster, matching his thrusts just as your body shuddered against his, your toes curling in the heels, your moans being muffled by his hand. ‘Fuck baby, that’s it, what a good fucking girl coming on my cock like this, you’re gonna make me fucking explode baby.’ Matthew grunted into your ear, bucking up harder but sloppily as he reached his peak. You pulled his hand away and turned to meet his eyes; his pupils dilated beyond belief, hair messy where you’d tugged on it before, lips swollen where he’d bitten them so hard trying to keep quiet. God he was so hot. ‘Come inside me Matthew, please. Come inside me, I’m yours to fill please, fuck I need to feel you like that please.’

Quiet but desperate moans and cries left his mouth once you begged him for his come, his hand gripping your face as he brought your lips to his, silencing himself as he spilled inside you. He hadn’t come this much in a while, but the way you told him you needed it brought it out of him. Your lips were pressed together so hard, more of a muzzle than a kiss. The feeling of him slightly spilling out of you made you involuntarily clench tighter, maybe a natural instinct to want to keep him where he belongs. Matthew slumped back, his head dropping onto the black leather. ‘Let’s hope this stays in hm?’ after a few minutes absorbing what you’d just done, you spoke quietly, slowly going to stand up off of him. Smiling lazily, he let out a hiss when his cock slid out of you, falling onto his stomach, still slick with the mixture of you both. Adjusting your underwear and smoothing out your dress, you watched as he tucked himself away, sitting himself up properly and running his hands through his hair. He grabbed your hands and pulled you to stand between his legs, eyes shining with love and admiration as he looked up at you. ‘You really are so beautiful, y/n. Nothing in this gallery compares to you.’ Matthew whispered, stroking his thumbs out across your hands. You blushed and lost eye contact for a second, gazing at the artwork sprawled across each wall.

‘Thank you. I think one thing could make me a lot more beautiful though.’ You smiled and glanced towards your bag. Matthew imitated your smirk and grabbed it, pulling out the two sets of rings inside. The two of you slotting them back where they belonged on each other’s hands, you kept a tight grip on Matthew’s hand as he stood up in front of you. Twiddling with the wedding rings on your finger, you looked up at him beaming. ‘Much better actually, Mrs Gubler. Let’s go grab something to eat?’ he held out his arm the same way he did walking you in, except this time it was mostly to aid you in walking because you were staggering a little.

As you passed the guard who’d let you both in, Matthew turned back towards him. ‘Thank you for helping us out tonight. Can officially say we crossed a few things off our date night list.’

Slapping his arm, you dragged him away blushing profusely. It left you thinking; What would the next date night entail?

[kate-river]

Proud to present you “Toussaint’s Finest” - my witcher fic written for the Eskel Big Bang, featuring incredible art from the wonderful @justhereforeskel Enjoy! ;)

Relationship: Eskel/Geralt

Rating: M

Word Count: 9K

Summary:

Eskel is still roaming the Continent. But in recent years the Path has become harder and harder. Eskel has made it a habit to come by Corvo Bianco around vintage and this year's events might change a few things in his life forever.

Read the first chapter below and or the completed fic on AO3.

Check out @justhereforeskel‘s artwork!

Eskel knelt down beside the riverbank. The gravel scrunched under his boots and for a second, his cat-like eyes flashed in the sun. He sighed when he reached into the water and watched as the stream carried away a tiny trail of blood.

The wind rustled in the nearby trees and the witcher, still rubbing his hands clean, turned his gaze southeast. In the distance shimmered the familiar vineyards of the Sansretour valley and the sight of their natural beauty stirred something in his heart.

Behind him though, the monstrous cadaver of a bear lay on the blood-soaked ground. The beast had a ferocious wound on its shoulder and the once so powerful creature seemed shrunken now that its body was lifeless. The most apparent feature of the corpse however, was its missing head. The very same that dangled from Scorpion’s saddle.

When Eskel got up, he was disgusted and sick at the sight. As a witcher he was supposed to kill beasts. But a bear? It had just been another curiosity that had suffered from coming too close to a village.

Eskel sighed as he mounted Scorpion. He strongly felt the need to leave this place; to move on. To get away from a task that he had only been compelled to accept in order not to arrive at Corvo Bianco empty handed.

As Scorpion fell into a powerful gallop, Eskel relaxed into the movement and his thoughts wandered off. A sensation of freedom pulsated through his veins and for a moment his doubts vanished.

 A few hours earlier…

 “Hey Master witcher, over here!”

A young man dressed in a worn-out leather jerkin waved in Eskel’s direction. His eyes were blown wide and his straightforwardness suggested an urgent matter. Eskel reigned in Scorpion, left the dusty path and took a halt next to the man.

“Master witcher, an evil spirit is roaming the woods.! Two days ago, one of our men was killed – I beg your help! We’re poor country folk, but we will pay!”

You better do, Eskel thought to himself. Although empty, his purse weighed heavy on his conscience. Arriving at Corvo Bianco without money would embarrassing – tolerable still - but heading for a winter at Kaer Morhen penniless would even be dangerous.

Eskel immediately recognized the hostile reactions when they entered a small woodworker’s settlement. Children were hushed and hastily dragged into their homes by their parents. Doors were hurriedly shut and if Eskel would have wanted to see, he would have noticed the people starring and pointing at him behind drawn curtains.

But he had no other choice. For weeks there weren’t any good contracts and a mysterious monster in the woods sounded like something profitable for once.

The young man led Eskel to the biggest hut of the settlement and a sturdy, yet bald man standing underneath the nearby oak tree suddenly stopped his wood carvings. Eskel noticed that the man’s left hand was missing a finger and his expression was anything but welcoming. He gave the younger man a sharp look and then turned to Eskel.

“Master witcher, how can I be of service?”, with a feigned smile he added, “I’m afraid but… we can’t offer children.”

Eskel, already used to this kind of reaction, sighed and looked him straight in the eye, making a dirty brown iris meet his shiny amber one.

“I was told there was a contract.”, he stated slowly, distinctly.

“I fear there must have been a mistake.”

Suddenly the door behind the man opened and a dangerously beautiful mage entered the place. She was dressed in luxurious fabrics and her long black hair nearly reached her waist. The two men bowed before her. But Eskel, weary of the hostile welcome, denied the courtesy.

“What do we have here?” she mockingly asked. “A mutant –created by the most senseless representatives of my guild. You’re a rarity these days, witcher.”

“With all due respect, your guild indeed comprises some senseless individuals, sorceress.”

“Witcher, you have a wicked tongue too. What a pleasure!”

She smiled slyly and gestured him to follow into the hut. He did, but with sharpened senses. Surprisingly the mage, as rude as she had appeared, was straight forward about the monster – beast to be more accurate - and sincerely promised Eskel a reasonable reward.

 But when Eskel returned to the woodworker’s settlement with his trophy his doubts returned as well. The village seemed abandoned. Nobody tried to hide and nobody pointed at him. Alarmed he scanned the few huts and carefully pushed Scorpion to move on. Something was wrong and he wasn’t eager to find out what or why.

At a twitch of his medallion Eskel tensed up. The vibration grew stronger while he neared the main hut, but as he was close enough, the sickness he had already felt once today returned. From the old oak tree hang the lifeless body of a young man dressed in a worn-out leather jerkin.

Anger welled up in the witcher’s chest. He tied Scorpion to the old tree and suppressed the need to let out a furious roar. Eskel soundlessly drew his sword – the steal one, as it befitted the monsters he was going to fight. But before he could come any closer, the door of the hut opened. The mage shielded by the poorly armed woodworkers emerged.

She gestured the men to let her through, but the moment she left their shielding ring Eskel’s blade touched her throat.

“One step closer and you’ll be next. What happened to him?”, he barked.

The mage laughed hysterically and answered “Sawyer? He brought a mutant to our village, the poor lad. In these parts people get killed for less.”

At this exact moment, she tried to conjure up a portal, but Eskel was faster. He stunned her hand and instead of a portal a wobbly structure appeared behind him. She screamed angrily and used the few seconds to pull a simple dagger from her boots. In the meantime, her ever so brave protectors advanced, coming for Eskel with raised axes and pitchforks. The witcher growled and parried the blows easily, but the distraction was enough. The mage leapt at him, missing his throat by the fraction of an inch. Eskel roared and suddenly he couldn’t contain his anger. He was a monster? A mutant? Well, then they should have their mutant!

Taking his left hand from the grip of his sword Eskel felt the tingle of magic flow through his hand. His powerful Igni struck the line of woodworkers and chaos broke loose. They screamed trying to shield their burned faces, dropping their weapons in order to stifle the fire on their cloths. The fire caught hold of the hut too and the less wounded men tried to keep it under control.

Meanwhile the mage had prepared to conjure up another portal. But Eskel wouldn’t let her go through with it. With a swift movement he left behind the inexperienced fighters and blocked the mage’s way.

“Go to hell, witcher!”, she gasped out as Eskel launched into an attack. But before his sword could come close to her again the bald man with the missing finger threw himself between them raising a rusty pitchfork. But the witcher’s sword pierced his lung and his last words drowned in a pained gurgling.

Hysterically laughing the mage cried out “A monster slayer! Look around you witcher –are these men monsters to you?”

“Why did you hang the boy?” he panted. He knew he wouldn’t have long until the shock of killing innocent people would settle in. He had to finish this quickly.

The mage’s insane laughter didn’t help. She managed to open the portal and just before she slipped away a precise blow separated her torso from her lower body.

In his rage Eskel turned around and roared. He grabbed the pitchfork of the dying man and went over to the old oak tree. He rammed the pitchfork into the earth just below the hanged man’s corpse. 

Scorpion whinnied and Eskel, still half in fight mode, took down the bear’s head from his horse’s saddle.

Wordlessly he impaled it on the pitchfork – leaving an unmistakable sign.

[weaselbeaselpants]

Weird week behind me weird week ahead of me but I’ve done a lot of self reflection and came to the weirdest epiphany. The older I get the more I realize all my ‘problems’ with VivziePop - her thoughts on criticism;  the choices she makes in story telling; some of the people she’s worked with (not that any of that’s my business; I’m not her mom) really aren’t about Viv, but more about her fandom.

I’m speaking of the preHazbin era Viv here and as someone who’s only watch horny fish jump at the surface rather than jump straight into the Hazbin-fandom, but given my ‘noncritical’ fellow fans have told me that the Vivziefandom now is also terrible - I guess I’ll go over my experience and make the most out of what I do know.

I followed Viv in 2009 and fell off in 2013 cause I kinda just lost interest and found myself wrapped up in other fandoms. I’ve always felt amicable about her content; I could give or take designs or the way in which she wrote characters -- ((Zech represent!!!)) but it’s honestly surreal and really fun seeing this person I recognize make it big and improve so much. Like I’ve said before I am very happy and very impressed with Viv doing all she’s done in the span of TWO YEARS. wow gurl.

Trouble is, there was the particular breed of fan who really made me...uncomfortable. They felt almost possessive of Viv’s attention. They sang praises about her work in a way that just made me want nothing to do with it because I was worried if I drew those characters these people would be like ‘hey, I’M Viv’s fav artist, not you!”. They would  unironically write Viv messages like:

“you are a GOD” -- “I’m so not worthy compared to you” --“I wish I was as talented as you” -- “YOU ARE EVERYTHING AND CAN’T DO WRONG VIV”.

The kind of messages which were meant to sound flattering but, intentional or not, came off as gaslighting, like they were guilt tripping Viv about being better than them. This behavior, treating your favorite artist/internet personality like your superior and groveling like Starscream, it strikes a nerve with me; partly because I was this way with my favorite artists and influences back in the day,  but also because once I got a taste of that treatment myself I realized just how bad it could be:

There was once a girl on dA who was jealous of me because of the attention I got on my art instead of her. I told her that I wasn’t gonna stop drawing but also that there was nothing wrong with her art and she’d find her place. It was weird being put in that position where someone is very clearly upset at you but also looking for your approval.

The second was some scumball who I blocked in 2016. He wouldn’t speak to me, only write condescending, backhanded comments on my art; check on my profile daily; call me a bootlicker (cuz I took commissions) behind my back; redrew my art and would talk about me in his personal artist notes about how I ‘probably wouldn’t see this’ - oh yeah all the while he did fan art of my characters but again never spoke to me when I replied. When I finally messaged him about his behavior he said he thought I was “really overrated” and “bad for the fandom” cuz I took money and kept him from getting the love he deserved. It took messaging another person within our fandom, one I had been in spats with online before, to finally realize I shouldn't put up with that bs....

That guy who was stalking me btw did so while I was well under 1.K watchers and am still pretty obscure. Anyway, I had one guy unhealthily watching me for the wrong reasons. Just one. This is why when Viv says she “hates creeps” I 150% believe this woman and am not about to call her a liar who just can’t take criticism. Like, if you really think that, I’m sorry but you don’t know what Viv’s gone through from both her critics AND fans.

Of course, a lot of people will be like “I bet you’re just jealous and really just want that kind of attention yourself so you’re preaching to the choir”, but like...no. I am envious of just about any creator who’s the social butterfly I’m not, but, like, if I'm jealous of an artist none of that is that artists’ fault. Ever. It’s my own issues with being comfortable with myself are at stake. If I criticize Viv’s work it’s not because I see her as competition or my Squilliam Fancyson; it’s because I’m a critical fan of animation and cartoons and have my own thoughts to share on the cartoons of an artist I’m familiar with.  Jealousy/envy/mixed-admiration/godIwishthatwereme.jpeg feels are totally natural and valid emotions when you’re a creator. Envy becomes a problem when you internalize, weaponize, and scrutinize people on the basis of them being what you aren’t which -yes - some people do in the name of criticism. ((Although, I would hardly say some of the nastiest AntiViv folk are jealous as much as they are angry that this project they think is harmful is getting attention and using that as justification for some really shitty behavior of their own, which no, this post is not a part of by virtue of coming from a critical fan.))

Critique can come from either a good place or bad place; good critique can be used to bad ends and bad critique can come from a well-meaning place, and vice versa.   It’s the difference between many a criticalfan having a sour taste in their mouth regarding the Viv’s base but persisting in a critique+admiration separate of that, and this asswipemonster trying to weasel his way into Spindlehorse while also bashing Viv on a public forum for clearly vitriolic reasons. He was a creep.

So yeah um please stop insisting that every Hazbin critic is just jealous’ because a) there are people who have a past with Viv’s base and that clouds their judgement, but in a lot of cases that doesn’t invalidate their feelings or thoughts on her work separate from that, and b) I’ve seen what clingy gaslighting jealous fans are. Spoiler: they’re not so much Annie Wilkes as much as they are Tommy Wiseaus. You don’t want Tommy Wiseau following you.

Another bad vibe I really picked up on that I can kinda confirm is still probably the case now: people think that they know Viv and the Spindlehorse crew and have the right to send them shit they don’t need or WANT to be seeing.

Like, I talked with Viv once ages ago. I don’t remember what I said other than we were talking about Frankenweenie, I think. She was nice. Outside of that she said “thank you” to my comments on her deviations but that’s it. I DO NOT KNOW THIS WOMAN AND unless you’ve worked with or are a legit friend/mutual of hers, NEITHER DO YOU. But I don’t think every Vivzie stan/critic knows this. Whether it be people assuming she MUST think they’re headcanon is now canon-canon cuz she liked a comment they made; or some critic thinking they must have seriously hurt her pride because they’ve been blocked by her on twitter (or you know, maybe she and the rest of Spindlehorse is tired of getting @s and don’t have to time to read through your analysis so they’re gonna just block and move on cuz they’re busy).

Just because the creators talk with fans doesn’t mean fans are literally their best friends and have a part in the show’s direction. And yes, critics and reviewers fit that bill as well. Know your damn boundaries people.

If you find/make some kind of contribution as a viewer that’s awesome but you should never expect nor DEMAND the creator see it. The most obvious horror stories involving this and Helluva/Hazbin have been the Instagrams made by the crew being harassed by incestpedo enthusiasts, but it applies even to just @ing creators as well.

I’ve seriously had someone tell me to just take my criticisms directly to Viv and like...no. Why would I do that?

I respect Viv and the artists working with her enough to know that they’re working their asses off on an animated series and should not be bothered. I don’t want them to stop all they’re doing and reply to me. I want them to keep working. Also, that kind of logic makes me wonder how many critics Viv’s found because she found it on her own or if some obsessed fan told her about it - which is really messed up cuz if it IS just good critique you’re, again, just pestering her, and if it wasn’t critique but full on harassment WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU MESSAGE HER ABOUT THAT ANYWAY? I’m sure she doesn’t need to be reminded that people drew and said really awful shit about her on Tapatalk. My point being I’m sure what people think they’re doing is

“OOOoh Viv lookitwut this person is doing in our fandom we need to ban together against this toxic behavior”

but what they’re actually doing, and sounding like, is -

“Hey Viv I know you are working so hard on the show and you’re trying to figure out where to go from here but LOOKITWHUTTHISHATERSAID. LOOKATIT! VALIDATE ME VIV AND PUT’EM IN THEIR PLAAAAAACE!”

TL;DR Viv’s fanbase back in the day consisted of everyman artists and interests but there was this one breed of fan -who I hope was just a vocal minority- that ruined it for everything else.

Call it stanning or ‘simping’ or as it’s classically known, ‘white knighting’, whatever it was it really soured a lot of people on her because of those fans.

That’s why the DollCreep drama got so bad from what I can tell. Doll and Viv had a falling out and then called out eachother online where people who took it upon themselves to speak for them starting throwing mud.

Back in the day I remember Viv used to get mad at artists for ‘stealing’ her style. I think this attitude from Viv directly has vanished but I remember it happening because one of the people she thought was stealing her style did art for me at some point and they were basically shamed/chased off deviantART by a gaggle of these really nasty Vivfans.

inb4> “VIV WAS AWARE AND STILL WEAPONIZES HER FANS THO”

I don’t know that. And honestly, where I’m inclined to believe she’d do something like that then I think Viv is really different and has improved her business and public image from her college days. I’d be very disappointed in her if she was pulling a Butch Hartman or Derek Savage, but I just don’t think she is one, k?

Viv is more self critical and aware than any of these uber protective-gatekeeping fans give her credit for. She said on the Pizzapartypodcast that she knows the Hazbin pilot wasn’t perfect; she’s been able to identify the problems with old Zoophobia; this woman knows that criticism of all kinds need to exist and from what I see she sounds like she’s trying to get used to that. It’s just, you know, when you have nasty antis badgering you, stalkers, obsessive yes-mam’ fans, opinionated shit posters, r34 artists, entitled shippers and the NDAs of a company alongside your own branded image - all that negativity, even the constructive bits, tend to clump together and you just want to scream at it so you can finish the damn cartoon already!!!!

TL;DR: PART TWO

VivziePop/mind is basically indie Tim Burton.  Her work is fun, shallow and made with love but is marketed as being for everyone when it’s really not. Parts of it I love to watch; parts of it drives me crazy cuz of reasonswhatev this isn’t a review.

BUT any fanbase where people tell me I should just “expect what’s coming to me” when I’m trying to argue against dragging creators into fandrama is troubling. People have a parasocial bond with fandoms and their creators and they need to learn when to back off.

[twisted-imagines]

Heyo! May I request headcanons for how Leona and Azul would react to their respective SO being unassumingly strong? Like they look like they possess average strength but they are able to carry a lot of heavy things (easily the dorm leaders) or hold their own in a physical fight. I hope this makes sense 😅😅😅

Unbelievable, I'm back! With a request, nonetheless💖 I wonder if you missed me, hehe? Man, did I miss you all and my precious boys~ It's shorter than usually and I got hit with a writer's block, but it'll try to pick up my pace from now on >:3

But for now, please, enjoy💗

Unassumingly strong S/O

Leona Kingscholar 🦁

Rays of sunset gently caressing his face woke Leona up from his post-lunch nap. Still groggy from his sleep he rose up just to look at the clock. Almost evening, the last classes in college ended at least two hours ago. But that wasn't important to Leona. What really bothered him, was the absence of one customary part of his sleeping routine: your warm form beside his. To have you curled up into his side or just sitting near him telling about your day always made his dreams more pleasant and now that he got used to it, not having you beside him rubbed him the wrong way. You should have already been there, so where were you? The lion didn't want to think about the worst, but only the most alarming conclusions came to his mind. The bed shifted beneath him when he got up, but before he could even take a step a loud stomping resonating in the hallway drew his attention. Ruggie was at his doorstep, disheveled, and clearly agitated.

"Leona-san! You need to see this, come. Quick!"

Leona could finally let out the breath he took when Ruggie rushed him out of his room and to the common room. Several students were running to-and-fro around the other three beat-up Savanaclaw residents. The dorm leader stopped at the door, relieved to not had seen you there. And why would you be there, though? Nonsense. But it was really the only thing he was worried about since the sight before him was all too common for Leona at that point. He was about to turn to Ruggie and ask what all that fuss was about until a conversation between couch occupant and the students treating him reached his ears.

"Ouch! That hurts, man! Ugh, if not that piece of-!"

"Don't even think about ending that sentence. You're lucky that it wasn't the dorm leader who got his hands on you."

"Yes, dumbass, can you even imagine what would have happened to you three if he found out you fought his mate- Wha? Huh?! Leona-san? Since when did you-"

Leona crossed the room in a few powerful strides only to pick the unfortunate student by his collar. An unbridled fury grimaced his face.

"What's about [Y/n]? Tell me, your puny life depends on it!“

"Nishishishi, what can he even tell? That he and his thick-headed friends got completely obliterated by a single, small human?"

"Listen, I'm very sorry about it, but it was just self-defense!"

Leona dropped the scared, shaking from fear student to the floor in favor of rushing to your self, who too entered the room. He swiftly checked you for any injury and let out a relieved sigh. From what he could see you were completely fine, while those who harassed you were very much not, trembling and holding each other, bruised and humiliated. Kingscholar could only look bewildered at them, and then at you, at them, at you.

"Leona, I'm really sorry, I didn't want to hurt them so bad."

Your ramble became faster the more your boyfriend looked at you with a blank look, not even saying a word to you.

"...so if there's some disciplinary punishment or otherwise or will take it, I-"

A snicker interrupted your speech. You looked at the man before you stunned. Before you could utter even another word he erupted in a fit of roaring laughter, it resonating in a completely silent dorm.

• Ah, Leona can't genuinely remember when was the last time he laughed that hard. The whole situation is so amusing to him, there isn't't a boring day with you, is there?

• Of course, you'll face no punishment, vice versa, you'll be celebrated. His darling, his kitten, was actually a mighty carnivore all along. He's going to mark the day, when he finally found out about that.

• Never would he think, not a snowballs chance in hell, that you had any physical strength in you, but you managed to prove him wrong. Yes, he was very close to destroying poor souls who tried to harass you, but if not for them taunting you and being beat up in the process, he wouldn't have such a discovery to laugh at. They're getting away with it, a living example of why exactly one ought to not touch dorm leader's lover. They're not dining with everybody that evening though, no matter how much tasty food there is.

• He doesn't think a lot about this discovery at first, that's just another gimmick of yours and he loves it, he loves you, but does it turn his world upside down, both figuratively and literally, when you, fed up with him lazing around the greenhouse and trying to make you lie down with him, swing him over your shoulder and carry him out. His pupils are just two saucers. He hangs speechless from your shoulder and until he feels ground under his legs he doesn't register what happened.

• Congratulations, now you have Leona Kingscholar living in your arms. He'll just use you as a personal carriage and how can you deny him, when he's so cutely snuggling up to you. Oh, he knows what he does to you and isn't ashamed to take advantage of it.

• He's quite pleased to know that you can hold your own in a physical fight, even in a magical world they're still too common. He even starts to watch himself, especially when he thinks he went too far with his teasing since you do have a strength to turn it on him. Well, he doesn't really protest. A bit of roughhousing and a tickle fight never harmed anybody, it amuses Leona when you start them.

• He admires you more than anybody else at this point. You're badass and you know it, and he couldn't be more proud. He sleeps soundly, knowing that you can stand up for yourself if the situation calls for it. He still much prefers to have you safe in his arms, or vice versa, so don't leave him for longer, than you should.

• One time he just casually asked you, if you could wield any weapon with a very unsettling glint in his eyes. He told you that a lot of people in Afterglow Savannah were proficient in some war art, it was a very respected tradition, and some of the masters could teach you, if you visited his homeland with him. He left the question open, but sometimes you still wonder what did he actually mean?

Azul Ashengrotto 🐙

Night Raven College was in a state of emergency. All students were to follow their seniors to a safe location, while teachers and student council were dealing with the threat. The reason for such a panic was a single creature. Highly dangerous at its full potential and untamable, college's Chimera was much less imposing than it's wild nature sisters, but still a difficult opponent for students at their Magic Defense classes. Apparently this time it decided to give a special lesson to everybody.

"The beast ran in that direction, don't let it get away once again, surround and subdue it!"

Azul's order rang in the hallway, spurring every present student to action. At the state of total disarray, the youth was the only one who reacted fast enough to rally his fellow students and direct them properly. But to say the hunt was going awfully is to say nothing. The students, so much for them being skilled at magic, had no idea of command work. Ashengrotto had already regretted sending Leech twins away with Octavinelle juniors, it would have ended so much faster if they were present. But alas, after running around the campus for more than half an hour, Azul could finally hope they would catch the damned beast at last.

"It's running away, catch it! Why are you standing still?"

"Can you not complain for five seconds, pretty boy? Want me to fix your make up with my fists for you?"

"The Chimera is resisting magical attacks, somebody please sacrifice yourself for the greater good. We need to neutralize it!"

No, they were hopeless. Azul could only observe the people he saw daily at college lose all respect he had for them in less than an hour. Azul was genuinely contemplating to just give up and let the teachers, who got lost halfway too somehow, handle it. At that point he wasn't even chasing it, disappointedly watching how it was running away into the sunset.

Until it suddenly didn't. Chimera crashed with a loud thud, falling to the floor completely motionless. And the one who was standing above it with a bright red crowbar was none other than you. Shocked, he slowly approached you and the unconscious animal.

"Um... [Name]?"

"Sup' Azul! You were late for our date so I returned to check up on you. This Chimera is so big! It's the first time I've seen it. Where should we carry it?"

"Yes, yes...You'll still meet it at your Magic Defense classes later the semester. To the classroom on the third floor, let me-"

Before Azul could lift it with magic you had already hoisted it on your shoulder and awaited for his lead.

Well, it was certainly a dream so he didn't have to freak out, right? His dear significant other couldn't possibly knock out a huge beast in one punch?

• Wrong. You did. You also had enough strength to carry it to its cage. You could do even more than that. The more Azul was coming to the understanding of it, the more he was freaking out. Until he completely stopped responding to you. The date had to be canceled, unfortunately. You led him to his dorm, while he was having an identity crisis.

• When he finally snaps out of his state you're so going to be bombarded with questions. They won't stop, and you're not even sure he addresses them to you. How did you hide it and why? Or was he just oblivious? But you look so demure, look at Jack for example and look at you! How?

"Well, I'm pretty soft, but here touch - there muscles underneath!"

He's now more lost than before, after making contact with your bare skin.

• It's going to take him time to come to terms with your actual strength. Lack of magic not equating to being powerless didn't register in his brain, and he thought it was actually very ignorant of him. He respected you before, but now he's in awe. His significant other is very strong and Azul thinks it's beautiful.

• When he has too much work and is stubborn about cramming it all into one day, even though he's already drooling on his notes and slips down his chair, you just lift him from his seat and parade through Monstro Lounge to his room with Azul blushing madly in your arms. Leech twins think it's the most hilarious thing they've ever seen. Azul is very embarrassed, but it also feels so good to be carried around by you, he feels the most special man in the world. He politely asks you to not handle him like that ever again, while he clings to you like a baby koala. It's obvious where he wants to be.

• He has a love-hate attitude to manhandling. It certainly feels exciting when you tug him on your lap if he's passing by, or envelop him in a hug if you're happy, but he's also quite shy about it, especially if there're people around you. Sometimes he wants just to find a pot big enough to hide.

• He likes your way of solving problems. You don't have to choose the best spells that would give you an advantage against a certain opponent, neither do you have to worry about things like mana and blot. You can only rely on yourself in a fight. He wheezed when you suggested, that Floyd wouldn't be a dangerous opponent to you since his unique magic wouldn't deflect a punch to the face. Floyd wasn't impressed with that logic, but he kept quiet.

• Azul is quite pacifistic, if he can mitigate the conflict and reach a consensus that would benefit every party, mostly him, he will try to avoid a fight. But when even he can't do this, you enter the picture. You know that those jerks are too arrogant and they should be prescribed a nice, educating blow to a face. Azul is mortified, when you escalate things, for he usually doesn't see such scenes, Floyd or even sometimes Jade leave them offstage. He quickly comes to his senses though and helps you out. Best believe you're going to get away with it, and even will be treated as a victim. Who in their right mind will think that you, of all people, can deal any serious damage to anybody?

• He feels a bit weird when you're the one carrying his shopping bags, or screwing the jars open, but he learns to roll with it, even starts to enjoy it. And his face when he sees you carrying a huge table all on your own, because he just so mentioned, that he didn't like how it stood in the Lounge? Priceless.

• No matter how much time passes he'll still react surprised when he sees you displaying your power, but it's also one of the qualities he loves about you. Azul treats your unusual strength as your special appeal and couldn't be more proud to be your lover.

• He's ecstatic that he can just casually mention to anybody picking on him, that "his significant other can and will snap you in half". Maybe you can, maybe you can not, but you just let him have his fun. The truth is that you will do your best at any given time to protect your boyfriend.

[lokis-army-77]

If You Please

Chapter three

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1994

I'm bad at writing descriptions, so this is basically a reader insert into The First Avenger and then we'll see how it goes from there.

<< Previous Next>>

Masterlist

The afternoon passed quickly and soon it was almost time to go to bed. I was sitting in a chair, reading, in the living room. Steve was sitting in the chair to my left, drawing away in his sketchbook. For as long as I could remember growing up, Steve had wanted to become a comic illustrator. When we were younger he drew small comic strips about the adventures Bucky, himself, and I would go on. They were always fun to read, but then the US entered the war 3 years ago and Steve stopped drawing all the time and focused on trying to join the fighting. He even got Bucky to help train him at the local boxing gym in the afternoons. Now he only drew when he was anxious or if something was on his mind. I knew if I asked he would just deny it and put everything away.

“I’m off to bed Stevie. Don’t stay up too late,” I yawned. I placed my bookmark in between the pages and quietly pulled myself up from my chair. Steve followed and gave me a short hug.

“I won’t, I’ll probably head to bed here in a few minutes. Thank you for helping me pack today,” he said quietly.

“You’re welcome, I’ll see you off in the morning. Goodnight.” I headed out into the small hallway and into my bedroom. I got myself ready, turned off the bedside lamp, and then crawled into bed. The day had been fast but exhausting. I let my eyes close and my mind drifted to thoughts of Bucky on the ship headed to Europe. Was he okay, did he miss me yet, was he alone? I knew he would be fine, but I prayed anyway. I prayed that he would come back to me safe and sound. I also thought of Steve and how he would be going off to training. I knew Dr. Erskine had some plan involving Steve in Project Rebirth, but I just hoped that he knew what he was doing and that Steve would be safe.

Project Rebirth wasn't something to take lightly. We were creating stronger, faster, and better soldiers. Steve had no clue what he was getting himself into and even though I couldn’t tell him I was involved with this project yet, I would be by his side each step of the way.

Finally, tiredness overtook my worried thoughts and I drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.

The next morning started like any other, I woke up to the jarring sound of the alarm clock by my head. After stretching I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom to wash the sleep from my face. The warm water helps to wake me up. When I was through with that I made my way into the kitchen to start making breakfast for myself and Steve like always. I had just placed the bread in the toaster when Steve strolled groggily into the room. He went over to the counter where I had placed our bowls of cereal and grabbed one. Then he walked over to the table to take a seat. When the toast was ready I put the pieces on a plate and took them over to the table after grabbing my cereal bowl. Steve grabbed a piece of toast off the plate and slowly started to eat.

“You look like you’re about to pass out, did you even go to bed like I told you,” I questioned him and took a few bites of my cereal.

“Yes, I went straight to bed a few minutes after you did,” he replied while glancing up from his cereal and through his lashes.

“Well, the dark circles under your eyes prove otherwise. You won't be able to stay up late and sleep in after you move into the barracks.” He shook his head and kept eating. “Well,” I started with a sigh, “I’ve got to head off to work in a few, I can walk you as far as the subway.”

“Thanks, It would be nice if you could come with me but I know you can't take off on such short notice.” I smiled at him and we continued to eat our breakfast in peaceful silence. After we finished I went to grab the empty dishes but Steve grabbed them before I could. “Here, let me. You go get ready.” I thanked him and went on to get ready for the workday.

When walking to the subway Steve and I cut up and joked like we always did. It wasn’t until we were almost at the subway stop that we became quieter. I grabbed Steve and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’ll see you later. Try not to get into too much trouble during training,” I joked before pulling away.

“I can’t guarantee that but I’ll try my best not to. Have a good day at work, and remember to lock the door when you get home, I know you forget to do that at times. I won't be there to lock it behind you if you forget.”

“That was one time, but I’ll remember to check it before I go to bed. Now go or you'll miss your ride.” I watched as he walked away, I waved to him when he turned around to me. I stood watching until he walked down the subway stairs. After he was gone I started on my way to the recruitment office, which was just about three blocks away.

It was a peaceful walk, the city was starting to come alive around me as I went. Women and men on their way to work and children on their way to school. The recruitment office was slowly coming into view, I could already see a line of young men standing from the door and down the sidewalk.

Once I made it to the building I maneuvered my way through the crowd of boys and headed to the back office where a short old woman sat at a desk sorting through some files. She looked up at me and smiled while she said, “Beautiful morning, do you have the time?”

I responded quickly with the other half of the code phrase, “Unfortunately my watch has stopped at 4:18.” She nodded and reached her hand under the desk to press a tiny button that would unlock a secret door that was hidden behind four large filing cabinets. I quickly headed in before anyone could come into the back room. The door closed softly behind me and locked back into place. I continued to walk down the dimly lit hallway until I found the women's locker room. Part of keeping the secret of working for the military was that I had to keep my uniform in the hidden base and change into it when I went into work.

After quickly changing into the uniform I left the locker room to go to the elevator that was directly at the end of the hall. I pressed the down button and the doors opened up. While inside I pressed the third level button and waited for the elevator to jerk to life.

As the doors slid open onto the third level basement floor I saw many people running around the yellow-lit hallways. I walked out into the hallway and was greeted by Agent Peggy Carter, who was walking towards me from the meeting room to my left. “Morning Carter, what's on the agenda today,” I questioned.

“Good morning Rogers, I believe today you and I will be going to Camp Lehigh to scout out the new recruits for Project Rebirth. We will be helping with their training starting before lunchtime today.” She kept walking as she explained the plans for today, I followed closely behind her.

“Then we should get to the car, it is almost nine,” I noted as we kept going through several corridors to the garage. “I have some things to tell you as soon as we leave.” Peggy nodded but kept quiet. After about a minute of walking, we made it to the large parking garage. It had been built under the secret base as a quick getaway escape or just a way to move discreetly in and out of the city. Some of the tunnels that were connected to the garage went on for several miles. The one we would be taking surfaced only a few miles away from Camp Lehigh.

As we reached the car, Peggy and I both opened our doors and slid into the back seat. A young army man was already in the driver's seat ready to drive us away. “What is it you wanted to tell me about earlier,” she asked.

“Do you remember me telling you about my older brother Steve?” I questioned while looking over at her.

“The one that keeps trying to enlist? I remember.” She nodded her head as she spoke.

“Yeah, that's the one. Well, yesterday he told me that he’s been recruited, and by Dr. Erskine. So that means that he is going to be one of the candidates for Project Rebirth. He has no clue what my job actually is, but with me being heavily involved in this project, will it be a problem? Are there any protocols that need to be followed?” She shook her head and let out a soft chuckle when mentioned Dr. Erskine. Then she looked out the window and seemed to think for a minute.

Turning back to me she said, “There isn’t any protocol that I can think of, other than that you have to treat him exactly like you would treat the other recruits. This is a sort of gray area because of your heavy involvement with this project over the last several years and the fact that Dr. Erskine himself chose your brother to be in this program.” I slowly nodded my head as she continued. “That being said, If we encounter him, I would give him a small explanation of why you are there without giving him any information about the project, and that while he is there in training, you are his superior, not his sister.”

“Okay, thanks. That's what I was thinking but I just wanted to ask you just in case. When I see him I’ll pull him over to the side and explain.” I paused for a second and lifted my hand up to grab at the necklace I had been wearing. Dangling from the small chain was a dainty art deco style ring, which once belonged to Bucky’s mother. I turned in between my fingers and watched as what little light there was, bounced off the small square diamond in the middle. I placed it back under my blouse. “James left yesterday with the 107th, I still haven’t said anything to Steve.”

“You’re going to have to tell him eventually, it will be better if it’s sooner than later. Since James is his friend he shouldn't be that mad. Trust me, I know from experience.” After saying this she looked out her window and for the briefest moment, I saw a look of sadness go across her face.

“I know I should tell him, but Steve has it in his head that James is someone who isn't going to settle down anytime soon.”

“That’s probably because neither of you has given Steve reason to not believe that James is that way. He’s your brother and he trusts your judgment, if it doesn't go over smoothly just give him time, he’ll come to realize that you and James love one another, and there really isn't anything he can do about it,” she stated matter-of-factly. “Here,” she handed me a small stack of manila folders, “look over these. They’re the files on all the project recruits.”

I opened the first folder and started to skim over the information and thought this was going to be a long drive.

[plxtokid]

summer rain - zutara oneshot

Pairing: Zuko x Katara (Zutara)

Rating: General Audience

Word Count: 1.6k

Prompt: “Try again.”

Author’s Note: Hello again! School has been kicking my ass recently but no homework today so I got to edit this oneshot which I’ve been neglecting for far too long (thank you @refulgentart for helping my dumbass edit ily). I don’t normally touch ATLA in terms of writing, but I saw this really rad piece of art by the amazing @elithien (which you can find here) that inspired me to try it out :) You can find the link for the ao3 version of this here (please go and throw some kudos at it if you’d like <3). Please enjoy!

requests open, notes appreciated :) thanks for sticking around!

Hand-to-hand combat was the fucking worst, and Zuko grinned knowing that was exactly what Katara was thinking. In retrospect, she knew it was so much easier to channel your energy into something like water, graceful, flowing, gentle yet powerful; than to use just the power available to you. In this case, the power available to her was her small, not particularly muscular limbs. Her thin fingers were not built to fight, just to dance with the water.

This is probably why Zuko looked like he was having such a good time. In the early twilight next to the small campfire they had set up, his body was one with the flickering of the shadows, tall and imposing as they wavered on the trunks of the tall evergreens. Fire was force. Fire was brutal and unforgiving and a promise; the eternal promise of power. There was a reason they were originally so opposed to each other- she went to sleep every night remembering that crystal cave, both of them bathed in the soft blue glow of the walls. As if it was just them, sitting at the bottom of a still ocean. The world was so vast, and they clung to each other the way snow stuck to her clothes. Despite everything that followed, she didn't think they ever let go. But she felt different now, Zuko had redeemed himself in every way that was available to him, and then every way that wasn't. She watched as he constantly sought out ways to make her life better. The last few years following the end of his father’s reign he spent rebuilding his country and fixing their friendship, both with a gentle hand the late Fire Lord Ozai was never capable of. The way he looked at her like he did after she told him about her mother, she saw it in his gaze every day. 

“Katara, you okay?” She snapped out of whatever haze she was in, looking back at Zuko who relaxed his stance. They were practicing turning kicks, but all she could do was think about the way he looked at her. She let out a sharp breath in an attempt to snap herself out of whatever place her mind was at. This wasn't productive for either of them, she tried to push off her embarrassment, getting into stance. 

“Sorry, I’m ready,” she stated firmly. He nodded with a small and forgiving smile and got into a defense stance.

“He never used to smile like that.” She kicked, turning her foot out as she raised her other leg up and swung forward towards his arms. She knew it was a bad one before she even followed through on the motion. 

“Try again, this time use your right arm to propel you forward.” He gave her a small nod of encouragement and she tried again. This time her foot met its target, but still pretty sloppy. She was so used to being loose and open. This art of fighting was all tight and close, she wasn't familiar with being so close to herself. The arms guarding her chest missed the mindless dance of limbs and water, she felt more like a rock in a stream. He got out of stance and took a few steps toward her, positioning himself behind her. She tried not to react as he put one hand on her arm and another on her waist. His hands were similar to hers, fire and water both came from long, thin fingers. But his hands had seen battle, fire drew his calloused fingers and palms, yet he held her as if she was glass.

“Keep your shoulders down and your left arm close,” He pulled her arm closer in towards the two of them, blocking her chest area. “If you’re using your other arm to add force, be ready to bring it up-” he guided her arm up, “out,” as he pushed her arm out with his right hand, she could feel his breath on her ear, “and back towards you to protect yourself.” When he brought her arm back towards her chest, he paused. They lingered there for a moment. Stood with his hand on her waist and his other arm wrapped around her torso.  She could have burst into Summer rain if he held her a second longer, but he let go, the heat of his hand on her arm and waist dissipated. She didn’t know if she wanted that feeling to stay. He took a few steps back and got into position.

“Try again.” His eyes never left hers. She nodded and gave him a small smile, and he looked as if he was trying not to smile back as she pushed all of her energy into her right side and kicked into his arms. The impact seemed to make a slight echo, the sound of their connection bounced off the trees and was lost in the ambiance of the grasshoppers and wind. But it was there, she still felt it in her core, whatever this feeling was. 

Katara tried again. And she tried again. It may have been an hour of her kicking, Zuko giving feedback and her adjusting a little bit, hoping her muscles would remember this the way she could remember the water. Eventually when the night caught up to them, with shallow breath and tired muscles, the two sat against the fallen log that laid next to the fire as they ate. After eating in silence for a while, Katara paused. “How…” she trailed off. She didn’t understand how to phrase the question in a way that a fire bender would understand. He looked over at her with curious intent, and she almost could bear his gaze, she still felt the outline of his hand on her waist. 

“How do you remember? With water, it’s how I grew up, how I lived, spoke, fought, loved-” she caught herself, realizing how far this question went. “Fire is all you know, it’s what you were taught, it’s the society you lived in, it shows in how you live and interact with people,” she looked over at him to see if he understood. He nodded, understanding and pushing her to continue. “When it is just fighting, with no elements involved, how do you remember something that hasn't been a part of you your whole life?” She looked over at him, but not in his eyes. She would do anything to avoid his eyes in that moment, an attempt to ignore the feeling of him studying her. But he nodded, and looked into the endless forest that surrounded them. She could see him thinking over the question, the way one evaluates a battle strategy. He nodded to himself and scooted over closer to her. She tried to ignore her heart, now banging on the front of her chest like a trapped animal.  

“Knowing and feeling are different, you and I know that more than everyone,” she nodded, understanding but not knowing where he would lead his advice. “When you know something, it’s shallow. There might be effort, but it will always only be half of what you are capable of until you can feel it. It’s the same way you feel when you look back on memories, or think about someone you love or hate.” Zuko stopped and looked over at her, but wouldn’t look at her in the eyes. She knew the void expression, the eyes of someone who held the weight of death in their hands and should have let go of it long ago. The way a child in war only remembers the pain they caused because it was all they knew. That child was Zuko, and she tried to restrain herself, knowing he still blames himself for the death of her mother. “When you remember fighting, it isn’t like learning at school. Remember the kicks and the punches like they are a feeling, one that constantly fills you and follows you. It can be bad or good, but it’s a feeling that you can call on whenever, and it’ll be there for you.” She looked at him, taking in his words and their underlying emotions as he looked down at the forest floor, mindlessly weaving the grass between his fingers. 

“I understand,” she said, almost but not quite a whisper, barely heard over the lull of the wind. She sat on his left side, towards his scar. To him, she knew it was painful. Katara saw where he drew his fight and his flame from. But she saw it differently. To her, his scar was a promise to be better, a promise to both of them she remembered every day. She leaned forward, tracing the bottom of the scar around his cheek. Almost to her surprise, she felt as he leaned into her touch, and she regretted the day she asked him to remove it, a reminder of how much they had grown since they were kids, stuck in a war that wasn't theirs to fight. 

“Thank you,” she said, leaning forward and holding the other side of his face as she lightly kissed the area next to his eye. The smell of smoke and pine lingered around him, and she took as much of it in as she could. Her lips lingered, and the heat of his skin on her lips made her almost giddy. He smiled, his hand finding hers and giving it a small squeeze. The midnight sky glimmered through the trees, and Katara gazed up. The feeling of this, of now, forever imprinted in her.