#i feel like that's what's implied but it wasn't outright stated

[halemerry]

So there’s understandably a lot out there examining the painful/emotional parts of this season, but I just wanted to take a second to acknowledge something really important that is a bit... maybe not lighter in tone but something worth celebrating.

Because like, even if he seems a bit directionless and frustrated, Crowley actually is pretty happy this season?

He’s making progress. He’s letting himself have things he wouldn’t have ever before - even if it's not exactly the thing he wants the most. He's letting himself be himself. He's not censoring instincts and impulses to nearly the same degree and it's actually pretty remarkable.

Like, okay, yes, Crowley is pretty lost now that he exists outside the toxic structure he has been operating under for millenia. And, yes his safety net with Aziraphale and the structure they operate in has also crumbled a bit because so much of that structure was built around what they were and weren’t allowed to safely do within the toxic structure. But, I actually do think this season does a lot to show that even if this struggle is very real and has consequences that aren’t all objectively good, freeing himself from that structure is a net good.

He smiles more. He laughs more. He sprawls more. He seems generally more physically relaxed and comfortable trusting his instincts without having to check everything he’s doing or saying against Hell. And this state of existence isn’t dependent on Aziraphale being present either. It’s just him being him and becoming comfortable with what that means.

And it wasn't a snap your fingers bam you're better situation either. It takes work and time to break old instincts. I mean, years have passed and we’re still struggling to let anyone say that we are nice. But significantly his instinct isn’t to snarl or physically lash out. It’s to roll his eyes or half heartedly object or maybe throw in a light growl for old times sake. And, sometimes, the instinct is to grin like a self satisfied loon as you contradict the nice human who implied you were nice.

Crowley is now in a place where his impulses to be kind are things he’s allowed to give into now and, even if he’s doing so under a veneer of snark and sneer, he is letting himself do that. He’s making sure the people around him are caring for ducks properly. He’s admitting he was worried about Aziraphale and cooing at his own car. He’s apologizing for accidentally locking people into coffee shops and openly helping them get out without even stopping to think about how maybe doing so might clue them in that he’s not quite what he seems. He's helping Shax learn her way around earth, even when she’s actively working against him and Aziraphale.

Even when interacting with Jim, who brings out the most of Crowley’s negative reactions and masks, his instincts are just as often to be gentle as they are to be angry. So long as Jim isn’t actively setting off alarm bells in Crowley’s head Crowley is so patient with him. He explains gravity unprompted and proceeds to include Jim in on his planning to get Nina and Maggie together. After his initial explosion at Jim’s presence the next two are immediately followed up by him getting upset and then backing off of Jim. He starts to threaten Jim when he’s reminded Aziraphale is in danger and then nearly immediately backs off of that, acknowledging there’s no point in it. And then, of course, after he nearly talks Jim into jumping out a window and pressures him into extracting more information from his brain he feels guilty enough to then offer Jim an act of care and service. It's such a stark difference from the guy we see even this season needing to put a layer between himself and anything good he does by either denying thanks outright or putting the blame on being under some influence.

And it’s startling how much we see him smile this season and how many different versions of that we get. From the genuine delight on his face when he thinks Operation Lovebird is working to the pleased little smirk he gives Aziraphale through the window when he watches him bring order to the arguing angels and demons in his shop, to the little smile of familiarity when he wonders what happened to Mr Dalrymple - Crowley smiles a lot compared to the first season. And it doesn't matter where he is either. He has a delightful time in Heaven, snickering and grinning to himself nearly the entire time he's prancing around there. And that’s not even getting into his dorky little snort laugh that pops up a few times throughout the season.

And I just. It’s so nice that this show doesn’t want to deny that what Aziraphale and Crowley are doing is hard but also that it doesn’t want to wallow in that struggle either. It never wants to frame that what they earned at the end of season 1 has doomed them but it isn't afraid to show the speed bumps that the system they were in is causing them on their way to happily ever after. They’re allowed to be happy. They're allowed to struggle with getting there. This is allowed to be a good thing for them, even if it sometimes takes work.

[pathetichimbos]

guys... I gotta talk about this. bear with me, it's gonna be a rollercoaster.

<nsfw under cut f!reader implied but not outright stated I guess>

---

Thomas having sex for the first time.

Oh boy. Oh boy. So many thoughts.

I don't care what anyone says. Thomas is a 30+ year old virgin. We stan him. We love him. We're gonna ruin him.

But first, let's talk about all the stuff in his life building up to it.

So, as I've stated many, many times before, Thomas was primarily isolated from kids his age when he was 13-14, so he didn't really have an outlet to explore anything in a safe manner with anyone. (Not that it would have been all that safe in the first place... these kids wildin')

And we also know that he grew up in a pretty conservative household (a.ka. patriotic god fearing americans), so we all know that he was most likely too embarrased and ashamed by his own attraction to explore anything by himself either. (whoo boy been there buddy)

And we know that as an older, proud, southern woman, Luda Mae most likely did not have any sort of sex talk with Thomas other than telling him it was for grown, married folks only.

But, you know what we didn't know?

Charlie wasn't around to have the talk with him either.

I was rewatching The Beginning (oh wow, really? what a surprising turn of events) and something I've heard dozens of times before caught my eye.

1952. Sergeant Major 'Hoyt' was a POW in the Korean war.

August, 1939. Luda Mae finds a discarded newborn in the dumpster outside the slaughterhouse.

1939-1952.

Depending on the month (but we can assume it was many, many months), Thomas was 12 or 13 when Charlie served in the Army.

So, while Thomas is dropping out of school and isolating himself from his family and peers, the only sense of a father figure is serving / being held captive by enemy soldiers.

And personally, I don't believe Thomas and Monty are that close. Monty doesn't seem to take any sort of interest in Thomas, and Thomas was a little too willing to chop his legs off. So I sincerely doubt he was any sort of help.

So, really, I wouldn't be all that surprised if Thomas doesn't really know what sex is. He has a general idea of the meaning and that it's reserved for marriage, but other than crude, most likely misogynistic comments from the older men in his life, he doesn't really know anything about it.

So, when he actually does meet someone (and tie the knot) and all of those feelings come rushing in, he's more than overwhelmed. It takes a long time before he can actually handle going all the way.

For the first part of your intimacy, it's a lot of soft talks and encouragement, and explaining everything to him. He has no idea how to make you feel good, so it's up to you to show him literally everything.

You have to build up to the actual sex, and even after you do it for the first time, he's going to need you to keep hold of the lead until he's familiar and comfortable with it all.

He's a mess when you finally do it. He's clinging to you, trying so hard not to hold you too tightly, a whining mess in your ear, burying his face in your neck and panting wildly. It's awkward, and bumpy, and he finishes way too fast (and you don't even get the chance) but the way he melts into your touch with that blissed out look in his eyes makes it worth it.

And trust me, he gets better. He's a quick learner, and as long as you tell him exactly what to do, he goes from a fumbling mess to making your toes curl in no time.

He spends an ungodly amount of time watching and learning what gets you going. The sounds, the sights, the movements, everything.

He could spend hours on you, but he's still new to this, so he gets distracted really easily.

He lives off praise, the more you give him the more fuzzy his brain gets until he's a whining mess. (He makes a LOT of noises). He loves when you leave scratches. (Nothing too deep or scarring, but the feeling drives him crazy). He likes when you tug his hair to make him look at you. (He's big on eye contact, specifically when you're more 'making love' than 'we've got five minutes before someone walks into the kitchen').

....Now this next thing I'm gonna say is going to upset plenty of people, but hear me out.

Realistically, I don't think Thomas enjoys going down.

I know, I know, it's a SUPER unpopular opinion as pretty much every headcanons him as being super into giving head, BUT, I have my reasonings.

It's not that he dislikes the act itself, and in fact, I'm sure he actually loves it, but we do have to remember that he has a rather severe skin condition mostly centered around his face.

This means his skin is super sensitive to certain things like strong chemicals, intense fragrances, hot water, and anything with a high acidity.

And going down with absolutely cause an irritable flare up that will hurt. A lot.

So, no, realistically, I don't think he'd do it, just for that reason.

Do I think he'd enjoy doing it if he could? Yea, absolutely, I just don't think he can.

Anyways. I don't know what this was. But it would not leave my brain, so. I guess this is my introductory to the smut I want to start writing. Who knows. We'll see.

[befuddled-calico-whump]

✨Content Tagging Guide✨

disclaimer: this is not directed at anyone, nor was it sparked because I've seen anyone mistagging anything. I just like lists and I'm going to make it everyone's problem :)

So you wanna write a story with darker themes, but are mayhaps a little uncertain about all the different content warnings you've seen.

Not to worry! Hopefully this quick guide will clear things up. To illustrate each level, I'm going to use macaroni and cheese as the content example. Without further ado...

cw: macaroni and cheese

^^this warning is very general. It tells the reader the content will show up at some point within the text, but doesn't specify the detail, use, or extent.

cw: macaroni and cheese (mentioned)

They drove through town, past the busy main street, and the factory where the local brand of macaroni and cheese got its packaging.

This warning tells readers the content will be mentioned; maybe in dialogue, or in a description, but not explored in detail.

cw: macaroni and cheese (discussed)

"I'm lactose intolerant," he said. "So I can't---well, I shouldn't eat stuff like that."

"But you did anyway?" they pressed. "I'm sorry, just... How did it feel? After?"

"Awful. I really should've listened to my common sense and ordered something besides mac and cheese."

As you'd expect, this warning tells the reader that the content will be discussed, either in conversation, or through a character's thoughts. Discussions can involve the moral implications of the content, how the content fits within the world, philosophies relating to the content, and the emotional or lasting effects of the content on a character.

cw: macaroni and cheese (referenced)

He tapped her shoulder. "Hey, I didn't see you after work yesterday, you okay?"

"Fine now," she said, shrugging. "I just had a bad batch of mac and cheese for lunch."

Very similar to "mentioned", this warning often implies a non-explicit, non-graphic mention of the content.

cw: macaroni and cheese (implied)

He frowned down at the bowl, then averted his eyes, appetite lost by the gooey yellow mass inside, and the heavy, creamy smell wafting off it.

This warning tells readers that the content is not outright stated, but the character's reactions and actions imply what's going on. If you could remove the context from the scene/paragraph in question and make it look like something else is happening, you probably have implied content. Note that there is a difference between simply "implied", and "heavily implied".

cw: macaroni and cheese (fade to black)

She took her seat at the table, queasiness building in her stomach. Her least-favorite food was to be served, and while she knew it would be rude to decline it, she wasn't looking forward to lunch. As the dreaded bowl was placed before her, she picked up the fork, and plunged it in.

Similar to implied, but instead of carrying on through the scene the content takes place in, fade to black builds up to the moment, and stops, often transitioning to the next scene before the content is given any kind of detail.

cw: macaroni and cheese (non-explicit)

For lunch, he was served a bowl of mac and cheese, one of his least favorite meals. He choked it down anyway, and hoped he wouldn't get an upset stomach.

This tells the reader the content will be present in some form, but not described in detail. It may have some active bearing on the character or plot, but won't be particularly graphic. While the character may be emotionally affected after the fact, the content itself is glossed over.

cw: macaroni and cheese (explicit)

The bowl was placed in front of him, steam still rising from the substance inside. He knew what it was before he looked. Mac and cheese. And he'd have to devour the entire bowl of it. He lifted the first forkful, strands of yellow cheese trailing from squishy curved noodles, all the way back into the bowl, even as he raised it to his mouth. Damn, it was extra cheesy. He knew his lactose intolerance just wouldn't hold up.

This is often used as the heaviest warning, telling readers that the content and the characters' reactions to it will be described in detail.

Again, this was something I mostly just wrote for fun, and to dramatize mac and cheese but I do hope someone out there finds it helpful. Let me know if there's a type I missed! :)

[electraslight]

What did you think of the mutation Kevin arc in season three of alien force?

I liked a lot of aspects of it. I think it was a good decision to remind people that Kevin has issues beyond being a con man, because season one and two of alien force, while I love them, very much erased kevins long history of mental illness, addiction, and violence, as well as honestly not giving him much of an arc. Plus I think the mutation was a really good way to explore how kevin actually feels about being mutated when not being corrupted. It was a great concept! I just feel like a lot of things around it were flawed. First, I don't like the decision to make a 16 year old boy wear that little clothing for a whole series. Yes, I know he's supposed to look like metamorpho man, but then you think about charmcaster grooming him and that really strange bit in trade off where they tried to imply that the energy transfer was a rape allegory- not a good time to have him almost naked. Second, gwen and ben were AWFUL to him. Gwevin fans idk how you can just gloss over how many times she outright states he's hideous when, let's be real, he's a pretty, muscular boy who's only abnormality is that he's carved out of materials. Ben sucks in general and everyone knows that but no one talks about how much gwen sucked too. I think the resolution was pretty dumb too. Why did destroying the omnitrix affect anything about Kevin's mutation? It wasn't attached to him or constantly feeding him energy, so realistically he would have dropped the transformation within a few days. Dumb shit. You can really notice the change in quality from s1 and 2 and s3. But kevins my waifu and I'll never complain about getting more of him,so I digress. Here's a dumb screenshot redraw, thanks for listening to my rant.

[ineffable-endearments]

So it seems that Aziraphale claiming the Bentley as "our car" DID change the nature of it, such that Shax needed permission to enter it while Aziraphale was driving.

However, he also implied that the bookshop is both of theirs. He didn't outright SAY it, though. He said (paraphrasing) "Technically it's my bookshop, but we both get plenty of use out of it, don't we?"

However, Crowley claimed to Shax that he "couldn't technically" let her in to the bookshop. And indeed, the bookshop held off the demons until the humans invited them in.

So that's odd. Here are a few options I can think of:

1 - Ownership is decided by who claims a thing and only one party's agreement is needed. It's possible to metaphysically seize ownership of something just by insisting out loud that it's partly yours. Therefore, stating out loud that the Bentley is "ours" makes it so, but as nobody actually stated out loud "this is our bookshop," the same thing didn't happen to the bookshop. This seems...deeply unlikely, or at the very least an incomplete reading.

2 - A version of 1 that I like better: ownership is decided by both parties making a statement or gesture that something is shared. Shared ownership of a thing doesn't have to be explicitly stated out loud, but both parties have to agree to it in their heads AND make a symbolic gesture of some kind. So Aziraphale could say "this is our car" and Crowley could hand over the keys and those both count as acknowledgment of shared ownership, but because Crowley never said "our bookshop" or thought of it as his, the bookshop wasn't shared in the same way.

3 - Only feelings matter, not words or gestures. Crowley was willing to share the Bentley with Aziraphale, which gave it a new metaphysical status as Both Of Theirs, but he never fully accepted the idea of the bookshop as Partly His, so it did NOT become a place demons could enter without permission. (Alternatively, Aziraphale didn't REALLY think of the bookshop as "both of theirs.")

Both of their positions provided some protection, right? Aziraphale as a partial "owner" of the Bentley means it's now harder to demons to get in there. However, Crowley's denial of himself as a partial "owner" of the bookshop means demons can't get in there as easily, either.

Their approaches are, at once, lovingly protective...and not what the two of them want. I wonder if this is a hint toward the developments they'll have to make personally, too, to move forward with the relationship - Aziraphale accepting Crowley as his own person, separate from himself and from the Sides, and Crowley developing a willingness to make real connections and put down roots.

[blackstarchanx3new]

FSR rambles 20

If you go with the viz translation, Green might have considered he had to kill Vio in that fight lmfao.

I lean very much on he wasn't going to and wanted to just knock his ass out but the flicker of "Oh shit. I might have to do something horrible" is still a present thought added here.

Since we KNOW Vio has a scar from Blue tossing that rock, and Blue even brought up he wonders how bad Green's scar is Green clutching his stomach here is uhhhh. Concerning haha.

Not beating the "Vio fucked up your stomach" allegations there Green.

Dark Link might have not really gotten the POINT of Green remembering this fight.

or maybe he's just too distracted to care.

Green's fucking face when Dark says "I LIKE VIO TOO!" gets a fucking laugh out of me because holy shit he looks pissed.

Like the audacity of that statement given everything is so funny.

Dark flipping hair colors depending on who he's imitating/talking about is just a fun visual detail and makes me very happy this comic is in color.

Jealousy...It's best served with Depression From Dark Link.

Because dude just keeps sinking back into a depressive state. It's almost like Dark just, doesn't want to talk about himself at all with Green.

He'd rather Green talk about himself/his experiences.

SOooo since I'm here to give all the answers:

"Why WAS Dark crying in this scene?"

Cause of Vio.

He was crying Vio's tears.

His hair has changed to vio's color, and he doesn't even realize he's crying till Green points it out.

There's also the idea he didn't realize Green was TALKING to him since he's not used to being noticed.

Hehe flashback.

So something to note: Blue didn't talk to vio, but just came to sit with him...Weird.

I'm sure there will never be a follow up about that weird detail and it was thrown in for absolutely no reason. :D

So to loop back in on why Dark Link was crying, Vio is just, busted up on the inside about all the bullshit with Shadow Link.

But isn't really allowing himself to express that in any real way.

I added this in cause I felt we didn't get much closure on all the bullshit Vio did in the OG manga due to time. So, here ya go haha.

haha guts spilled.

Vio really sums it up though. He "did" a lot of things by taking NO action. The guilt of inaction is haunting him HARD right now and it's just eating him up inside.

A continuous motif is when shown anything involving what Vio did to Shadow his face is obscured or not detailed, pitch black in shadows.

In this scene it's goopy which just adds this suffocating feel to his actions and words.

Vio's literally drowning in regret over his actions and can't reconcile with what he did.

Smth I honestly think the all ages rating completely holds back on us in the OG. Like I don't need over the top "oh nooo what have I become" but a LITTLE acknowledgement that vio watched Shadow (or at least it's heavily implied) kill people and outright text that he watched Shadow burn a forest would be nice.

We didn't see much of the consequences of Vio's actions even in just a self reflective idea despite them being SO HEAVILY FEATURED in the og manga.

Like we see the actions. We get no real closure for how vio is feeling about it. It's so odd.

Agh. So many emotions so hard to articulate the stuff behind them. XD

Green watching back on a past memory with just, a forlorn look on his face.

Dark is STILL crying and Green goes to wipe away his tears which just oomf.

Dark and Green's relationship is one I love VERY MUCH from a LOT of angles.

In a lot of ways in this scene specifically Dark is a stand in for Vio.

Green's wiping away Vio's tears from Dark. But it's still a sweet action regardless. He's showing kindness to an entity that hasn't been all that kind to him.

And on that note: Dark Link hasn't received much kindness from ANYONE.

Shadow's was basically entirely veiled in watching his own trauma from Vaati being thrown back in his face.

But there's not really strings attached to this action from Green. He's just wanting to comfort Dark, presumably as we'll see in a second BECAUSE he feels he failed when comforting Vio.

Anyway back to Vio and Green lmfao. I had too much to say about 2 panels of DarkGreen.

Vio questioning if Green hates him after this shit is a punch to the gut.

Haha guilt.

Guilt.

GUILT.

Green in FS just kinda fucked off and said "Screw them I don't care" when he was split up from them. (A reasonable response after so much bullshit lmfao)

but in doing so it opened him up to feeling a LOT of guilt over what DID go horribly wrong.

And it all sank in in this moment.

And current Green just watching back with sadness while giving Dark affection just aghhhh.

Pain. All I know is PAIN.

Honesty, togetherness. Pls kiss-

But as morbid as Green's words are it's true. Whether they succeed or fail at least they're together now.

Doesn't mean he's not still scared as hell.

This is the kind of characterization I wish we got from green in the og.

Like his bad leadership skills aren't really addressed in an impactful way outside of him fucking off for a bit haha. Which is never really brought up again after the pyramid bit and it only does in relation to how it affected HIM and not his team as a whole.

Green being more open about how he's a flawed leader is just smth I enjoyed adding.

*Laughs in Vioxgreen*

And I'm not sorry either.

Funny how HERE Vio is talking about the downside of being Link while in current day he's the one who wants to go back to that...

Just a fun food for thought thing.

The kiss is very much spurred from "Damn you're being nice to me rn."

Think you broke him there Vio.

Vio's no fucks given attatude really does boil down to "I've made so many mistakes what's another one" when it came to kissing Green.

Not that Green minded much haha.

Also hilarious you make such a disgusted face at the notion of smooching Shadow Link when page 358 is a moment green-

but yeah Vio's self loathing is on full display here and green's just like "Nah bro. but...you're a good boy-"

Smth I enjoy about Vio is just how much ANY link could be like him if they had enough removed from them.

Vio as a character to me is very much a side of Link that is completely willing to do ANYTHING to succeed and has NOTHING holding him back. Resulting in a very "not like link" link character.

The deadpan way Vio describes what he DID to Shadow Link.

Like in a lot of ways he's just. Numb. Like he's just dissociating with own actions.

It's less of a "Realization" that they're gonna have to deal with Shadow again at some point but the reminder still stings.

There's smth to be said on how I find a lot of people boil down the "Vidow is toxic thing" way to much and basically try to strip the convo of any nuance at ALL.

Here's an idea: They're both victims and perpetrators and they both care about each other but surprise surprise, being on two ends of the hero villain spectrum they were fucked from the start.

Vio lists what he did to Shadow here but Shadow was no fucking saint news flash: THEY TRIED TO KILL EACH OTHER. :D

They both did shitty as hell things to each other cause circumstances fucked them BOTH OVER.

Shadow: Pressured this bitch into joining him and DID NOT take NO for an answer and oh yeah tried to kill him when it turned out vio lied to him-

Literally wtf was Vio supposed to do when Shadow showed up in the woods. Pretending to be on his side just to not DIE if this massive lighting using man child decided to throw a fit if he kept saying no. Their entire team got wasted to shit by this guy and he tried to kill green at the start of the mangaaaaa.

it's almost like coercion is bad or smth...

Imo it's clear they care about each other it's freakin' circumstance that fucked them both over.

In terms of what they did to EACH OTHER I'd say Vidow is pretty even on that board. (If we don't count what Shadow did to other people in which, lmfao Shadow, the bad guy character is clearly more evil)

I have a lot of thoughts about Vidow lmfao.

I happen to like the fact they're a doomed romance I can give a happier and worse ending but that's just me-

Green and Vio after kissing:

😳

but yeah lol thanks for your input Green I'm sure Vio appreciates it. XD

Haha very funny Vio.

Though there is smth to be said about how Vio spent who knows how long sleeping next to Shadow Link that sleeping alone after that would be weird.

Oh Green. Sweet Sweet Green.

THE FUCK ELSE WERE YOU MEANT TO DO!?

ENLIGHTEN US PLEASE!?

Thank you dark for telling him affectively to stfu.

Dark's eyes being white with Blue is very unnerving and I like it. XDD

I'm just gonna say it:

I am in love with the last panel for a LOT of reasons.

So many.

Like idk where to even start holy shit.

1st of all: Dark giving green the flower. I've shit posted he wanted Green to eat it but that's not a joke lmfao.

2nd of all: Dark Link being a sweetie not only in his actions but his words. It was very fun to write him with someone he truly deeply respects.

Vaati he considers too dumb to live and Shadow he straight up thinks is the evilest entity alive. Zelda he barely interacted with and I've given my thoughts on them I think but like, there's not enough there to really deeply dive into yet.

Green, GREEN IS SOMEONE HE OUTRIGHT LIKES! And we get to actually see Green and Dark interact for an extended period UNLIKE Dark and Zelda. (I will have a LOT to say about them later lmfao)

And what Dark is saying here just, is the truth. Green is downplaying what he did MAJORLY, and Dark getting him back into a realistic sense of what is even feasible for one person to do is a welcome thing.

Overall I'm very happy with the dialogue I ended up with being "You did what you could with what you knew, that's all anyone could ask of you."

It's words I think a lot of people need to hear at one point or another.

Also, Dark Link is in a very similar boat AS GREEN. Vaati puts insane expectations on him and acts like he's a failure for not meeting them. Dark hasn't quite been hit with the "i'm not good enough" stick yet to take any of that seriously but they are in a similar boat of having the weight of their own worlds on their shoulders.

This is an experience he can actually RELATE to Green on in his own way.

In a lot of ways, darks lack of insecurity, and him kind standing up for Green here is a reflection of how he doesn’t view himself as a failure despite being treated like one. He's seen failure and doesn't deem Green or himself failures and won't beat around the bush in saying as much.

Overall I think the point that Dark makes, that sometimes there is nothing else you can do. And digging yourself into a guilt hole is not helping. Reminding yourself "I did what I could with what I knew" is a good thing to keep close to your heart. I think that point feels very strong coming from him. XD

You as a single person can't fix everything and you shouldn't have to.

Dark's infamous bitching about Vaati doing NOTHING while he does all the work, and him saying to Green "Bro you did the best you can" feels so personal and well indented coming from him. Which ah, has been so lacking in someone who thus far has been around people like Shadow and Vaati. XD

3rd of all:

This highlights an aspect of Dark that has been, rather shrouded in a questionable variable.

If he can TRUELY be a helpful entity or if he's only really evil. Obviously there's clues that Dark is more than what he seemed at first since he uttered that he wanted kisses and cuddles lmfao.

But this highlights the "Dark is a fucked up therapist" angle.

Lastly this whole interaction just stands out as smth that doesn't benefit Dark in a single way. In fact it might actually be a detriment to him.

One of his self described tasks is to destroy their mentality so they can't do anything to Vaati. But respects Green too much to not say smth when Green is being an idiot towards himself. XD

Having Dark being a nuanced character is smth I enjoy a lot because he's just so complicated. Shadow's whole "I'm the hero link think" didn't go beyond basically just jabbing at Link there was a dude with his face running around being bad and reveled in being bad.

But I like exploring a character who TRUELY thinks they are like Link and not just doing it as a jab. Dark's delusions that he IS a good hero is what makes him so fun to me. (I do like Shadow's characterization but making Dark and Shadow substantially different from each other was the goal. XD)

Cause Dark Link's thoughts that he's a hero aren't skin deep or just him talking himself up vs Shadow. Dark's mind is constantly contradicting itself to what he's supposed to be doing.

His main goal often defaulting to just wanting connection with others even if it kinda bites his other goals in the ass. Cause dude is lonely as hell as well as depressed and connecting with others kind of becomes his main driving force vs his actual purpose. XD

Suffice to say: I like this one panel a lot and DarkGreen as a whole means a lot to me from a story standpoint not just pure shipping fodder. XD (Even though unironically I do think they're one of the best ships in the comic from a dynamic standpoint.)

I think Dark is an important character in EVERYONE progressing their development in FSR and I do like how he's so flexible as to be a good foil or nudge characters in certain directions.

Darkgreen as a dynamic specifically just hits good cause of how it feeds into Green's arc of accepting help and listening to the fact he's not a failure and that this time, he doesn't have to pile things on his own shoulders and he can rely on his team. (Which is similar to his arc from the manga but the twist here is that he feels he needs to bare the weight of being the team leader.)

Dark kind of ended up being a "Safe" person to talk about his anxieties about.

Which is very ironic.

Lmfao. Green wasn't expecting that at ALL from this dude.

panel 2 is funny cause haha more funny out of pocket things Dark says involving "romance" (His urge to be close to people)

The "huh?" "Huh?" back and forth is inspired by smth in AOT lmfao go figure but two characters "huh?" ing at each other just gets a laugh out of me.

Like they're both confused to shit.

Green especially must have a ton of crap going on up there because this dude is ALL OVER THE PLACE during this conversation but admitting "Hey I'd want you to kiss me too" is probs the weirdest part lmfao.

The absurdity and audacity is just, laughable.

I don't remember who exactly Dark is quoting but I know SOMEONE said "Shadow link's a really bad guy" (I really wanna say it is green lol) and I thought it'd be funny if Dark repeated them here considering the circumstances. XD

It sounds childish as fuck but also cements WHY Dark doesn't like Shadow Link immediately at least in context to Green. Since Green doesn't know anything about their scuffle.

Of course Green pries a bit because figuring out Dark and Shadow got beef is...interesting to say the least.

He saw Shadow shaking him like a magic 8 ball so he's not THAT surprised but still that's weird.

Dark fundamentally seems to not really understand why he pissed Shadow off or he's being obtuse on purpose. Take your pick. Either way he's very to the point on him perceiving Green as "Hating" Shadow Link.

When in reality it's a lot more complicated than that.

Green also catches Dark refers to himself as a hero here which, confuses him but also intrigues him a bit.

Since I'm pretty sure this is the first time Dark has proclaimed himself to be a hero in Green's presence. XD

And considering Green's context: That's a wild ass thing to say.

I think it's interesting Green feels safe enough to confide in Dark at all...

Or you could take it how I kinda thought and by mere proxy of Dark not really being someone he can't afford to not let down, he can be honest about his feelings.

The other 3 colors and Shadow he has to have an heir of control and leadership around. Dark, doesn't expect squat from him, Dark is kinda their enemy...and he isn't someone Green needs to have a mask around.

Dark also giving him wiggle room to feel safe for that second I think Green just kinda, broke and wanted to talk about his feelings with SOMEONE and that SOMEONE just happens to be the nightmare monster that's a mental terror.

I think he's also lowkey defensive about why he's still a bit ehhhhh relationship wise with Shadow Link. XD

Because Green's wording here is WEIRD

"Nothing was the same after...ALL of it." - is more in reference to their entire journey and while Dark is the curse destroying their head Green can't blame him for shit that SHADOW did to make them mentally unwell as hell haha.

Like...Well the things Green describes above.

SPECIFICALLY the "You didn't laugh while me and Vio nearly killed each other" is...AMUSING because Dark did just watch kinda in surprise at that lmfao. His take away from that fight was "You like Vio? I like vio too. ^w^"

Green's not aware that Dark did uh, goofy things involving vio at the start of this comic haha.

Green's general bitterness towards Shadow makes a ton of sense. As Green puts it, Shadow put them through HELL. And he has every right to be pissed I think even if Shadow helped them in the end.

1 - It's called denial sweetheart they were both in it last night. XDDDD Vidow be complicated ya just gotta accept it.

2 - I fucking love Dark Link. He's just a treasure. Confused by Vio and Shadow's confusing ass relationship.

3 - Green's got that sexy self reflection to make his opinions nuanced.

4 - Truth.

5 - Dark Link's like "Damn I found a smart boy"

I do love Green getting shy at Dark Link praising him haha.

The admittion Dark thinks Green is a good hero also gives insight into what Dark THINKS a good hero IS to begin with.

What's fun here is just how different of a character Green is to Vaati or Shadow. Dark Link (At this point) hasn't had anything to berate Green on being hypocritical or weird about. (That wasn't Green's direct insecurities that Dark was just parroting) When in comparison to Vaati or Shadow who are "lying idiots". XD

Green downplays any good things he does while wallowing in his mistakes And Dark's like "...What are you talking about???"

Also Green. That last statement. You shouldn't have said it haha.

1 - That moment where Dark just, freezes and stops talking and STARES. Greens' like "Uh...you okay" wordlessly.

2. Creepy face.

3. Oh dear it's worse. XD I cannot remove the inflections from that one Lazy town meme "WOULD YOU LIKE TOO!?" and it makes me laugh but Dark's in general just, creepy as hell in these panels.

Also fun time into getting into Dark Link blushing since I don't know if I've gone into that:

Dark Link blushes for a lot of reasons but tends to do it when he's emotionally unstable. And he FOR SURE IS after Green made that throw away statement that he's unable to see into memories.

Dark Link is ALL too eager to share that experience though. For better or for worse.

I call him a sweaty weirdo for a reason. Dude be sweaty. XD

This entire page is hilarious and horrible for Green but Dark having no emotional filters is the norm for him at this point hah.

The main take away here is that Dark wants a "yes" out of Green when it comes to letting Green see something.

Green's horrified "WHAAAT IS WRONG WITH YOUR FACE!?" is the first time someone's ACTUALLY referenced verbally that Dark makes disturbing expressions. XD

Which is another thing Dark does involuntarily when over excited. Like it's obvious Dark's not a normal human and I don't exactly think the hylian-ish form we see of him is his natural state. I think it's the result of him mimicking Link's appearance.

I think the interesting take away is that Green kinda catches on imediately Dark isn't acting this way to scare or hurt him but just has zero emotional regulation. But who'd fault Green for being scared from this behavior. XD

Dark's dialogue is all sorts of concerning here. Saying "They can watch whatever Green would like", which is very much a push to get Green to watch SOMETHING with him to a point where he doesn't care WHAT it is as long as they do it. But describes the process as "Sickening" which... Seems to throw the idea it'd be "fun" out the window but he proceeds to say "It'll be SO fun we'll both THROW UP"

Which uhhh.

Okay then buddy.

The response Green gives, which is to just gently push Dark off him is a far cry from how Vaati and Shadow treat him physically.

Green's got insane patience.

Which speaking of that, if Dark is ONLY used to physically violent actions towards himself, him shoving Green on the ground and not really thinking about it makes a lot more sense.

I think the most gentle thing someone's done was Shadow and Vaati patting him on the head.

It's funny to me how Dark kind of realizes his behavior was inappropriate from Green's reaction and apologizes. Which, again is smth you wouldn't expect out of your casual evil villain man.

Green comes to the conclusion that Dark is nuttier than a squirrel which...took ya long enough bud XD

Again Green kind of applies "This is a bad guy who's trying to trick me" logic. Which we know isn't really Dark's style.

Lying is what his DAD does after all-

Dark confusing the words "Catch" with like, the physical action of catching something which is just smth I find cute.

I'm sure I've touched on it before but Dark's conflation of "Fun" and "Pain" has been smth with him from the start of the comic. (Masochist much lmfao)

And on a level he kinda knows it'll make Green miserable to watch something with him but kinda doesn't care and just wants to do it WITH SOMEONE for once. Thus he doesn't want any payment because, well. Asking for payment would be rude.

I just like his completely broken logic on that because it shows how mangled Dark's idea of things like pleasurable and painful experiences are.

Green's determination is a turn on for Dark apparently.

Just kidding but Green. Green. Awww Green.

That's such a bad idea to look into Vio's memories stop.

Slot machine Dark was just a fun visual I thought would be weird unnerving, kinda funny and match Zelda quirkiness.

[pteropodidaes]

tim's fall from the skyscraper in red robin #12 is so interesting to me. so after tim tells ra's it doesn't matter whether or not ra's overtakes WE because it's tim's legacy now, not bruce's, ra's pushed him out the window where tim has an interesting inner monologue before blacking out. in the next panel we see dick catch him and take him back to the cave, where he fills tim in on what happened and asks him how he knew he would catch him. tim replies in a way that heavily implies that he knew dick would catch him at the time, but there's a lot of contradicting evidence.

first of all, tim was not even sure ra's would attempt to kill him.

he says " if you kill me now," not "when." he is gambling on a hunch that ra's won't waste his time trying to kill him because it's no use anymore, but he's also fully ready to die, because he doesn't plead for his life. all he does is present the facts.

let's also take a look at this monologue here.

this is the monologue of somone who thinks they are about to die, there is a tone of finality here. his expression on the bottom left panel looks bittersweet, like he knows he's about to face his end but he's happy that he will have died protecting bruce. plus the panel next to it shows tears coming from his eyes. why would he cry if he knows he is going to be saved?

finally, the conversation with dick.

again, the phrasing is key here. he doesn't say "i knew you would be there for me," just "you'll always be there for me." he doesn't quite answer the question here. rather than simply a reassurance to dick that tim wasn't going in thinking he would die, i think it's also deeper than that. tim is telling dick that there aren't any hard feelings between them, that they're still brothers and tim still trusts him.

in my opinion, everything was a huge gamble and tim was willing to die, but it's kind of up to interpretation since the comic doesn't outright state anything other than that one panel with dick, which in of itself can be interpreted in different ways. what i do know is that tim still remains the only member of the batfam that was a robin to have not died so he still remains on top RAHHHHHHHH

[mydarlingbat]

Was The Batman and The Joker relationship different in the golden age?

I understand that it’s hard to accept that Batman might actually have feeling for the Joker, but apparently it’s the truth. so let’s jump right into it. first i’m going to bounce straight to the golden age comics. People claimed that The Joker did not enjoy the game. That the Joker only desire was to get rid of the Batman. The only thing that was important to him was murdering and stealing. He cared nothing about the cat and mouse game.  The Joker only kill when it's funny. He doesn't just kill, and that's my opinion, but I'm about to  prove you wrong about their dance. In the issue of Batman 57#  The Joker encounters Batman. They're both fighting each other, and let's just say the Joker gets the upper hand, then wins, and he ties the dark Knight up to a trap. He’s now  about to removes the Batman's mask, but Batman reminds him that "He won't be able to chase him anymore" Which led to the Joker not removing the mask. Batman also used the words chase rather than fight. The Joker also goes on to say. "I didn’t think about that. "i’ll miss our duels and wits" which made me believe that the Joker already figured he was going to escape, probably.  Why else would he need to reflect on what they’ll do next time. He could take the mask off of him right now ? he’s so positive that Batman’s going to die, why are you worrying about his secret identity when he’s going to die anyways ? unless the Joker figures maybe there’s a chance he will escape, or maybe he likes it a secret. Batman issue #12 the Joker straps Batman down to a spinning wheel that spins really fast, after he turns the spinning wheel on. He immediately hates the idea of Batman dying like that, and lets him get away free once again. In the issue of  detective comics issue #62 the Joker is about to detach the Batman’s mask, again, but immediately changes his mind reflecting on later, also in this issue The Joker openly admits saying "i enjoy the wits. the hunt. the chase" implying the cat and mouse game him and the Batman plays, so The Joker does like the game. He enjoys it, and he'll let the Batman secret stay safe so he could dance with his bat. In issue of  Batman #32  the Joker has Batman tie up, again, but it's to a wooden chair _ while he reads a newspaper. He goes on to say " i’ll depose of you eventually" leaving Batman to escape once again. heavily implying he doesn’t want Batman dead right now, as well In the issue of batman # 7 the Joker asks batman "What kept him" and that goes back to what I said earlier. He waits for him to show up. He might pretend that he doesn't, but his actions proves him wrong. Also in the golden age The Joker says "I would have been disappointed if you hadn't figured it out" the Joker's  outright saying  that he wanted him to figure it out. It tells you right there that  Joker does seeks his attention, even if it's subtle. In  Batman #53 issue. The Joker once again ties Batman up, and oh my goodness. He honestly get tied up so much in the golden age comics, but  in the issue, One of his goons asks "let see who's under the mask" The Joker agrees to remove the mask, and proceeds to take the mask off, but pauses and  stops, and says " it'd ruin the only little fun I have"  He continue to say. "Yes, Batman I'll let your identity remain. A secret for you afford me. The thrill of  Supremes battles of wits  each time we meet" and here I am again saying once again obviously the Joker knew there was a big chance he was going to escape the trap. Why else would he think about another time ? i have no doubt the obsession wasn't there. it was subtle, but in front of our faces, and like I said it wasn't all about the kill. It was also about Batman too. Theses are not things I decided to make up. If you have doubt be welcome to go give the issues a check. Yes, the Joker enjoys the wits. He stated in almost every golden age comics "I can't wait until Batman sees what I got in store" obviously he wanted Batman to know what he was up to.

Most of the times they look like they're having fun. Bruce also liked to irritate him as much as the Joker liked to irritate him.  Batman's already aware of the game we can see. the Joker adores to play. It's the only reason the Dark Knight goes on to say. "At least I won't have to chase you anymore"  knowing the Joker would immediately change his mind, and luckily for bats he did. It's in Batman #57. Do i have to remind you that theses are the golden age comics. Yes, The Joker still cherished the game. it's not only about murdering innocent civilians. I honestly don't  believe he even wanted to kill Batman. I mean he never once killed Batman in the 40's and 50's. Did Batman ever  take the Joker's life. Yes, he did. It was only a couple incidents. I  won't say he just purposely try to kill him, but when they were fighting Batman actually might have kicked him, or punched him, and he could've fallen to to his death, but he honestly never does hardly. Though I already mention this was when the Joker first came in the picture. it wasn’t constant, but When the Joker first came around. I would have to jump head of myself and say that a lot of times the Joker did fall. The dark Knight rarely believe the Joker was dead. He even had times sitting alone that he wonder if the Joker was still alive, even though he heard nothing about him, deep down he missed his Joker, and how do I know that ? Because when he sees the joker alive. He instantly says things like. "It's good to see you again." Nice meeting up with you. "It's been awhile Joker" let's move back to the death's of the  Joker. For example Batman issue #4 Batman says "he always seems to cheat death" let's go on to Batman relationship with his greatest enemy. Batman  issue # 8. Batman decides not to take the Joker's  life. He bring him back to jail. This continually happens now. Did the Batman actually liked the Joker at all in the golden age ? Yes i do believe so. the Batman actually showed signs of missing the Joker, and sometimes when they did meet up he would say "it’s good to see you again Joker," "or the Joker’s mine". "the Joker’s my dish" "i’ll handle the joker." " it’s never a waste chasing you Joker" "it looks like I sort of swept you off your feet." Batman 45. batman #9 batman yells when the Joker is about to be hit by a train. The scream is so loud. I'm just applaud. he also saved the Joker in the first issue of Batman. He goes on to say  "you're too valuable a prize to lose" those words sound more like to a friend then and enemy, and something the dark Knight probably won't even dream of saying now. Batman 13# the Joker says "hello", and Batman reply with "abroad joker"  this honestly seems like the two are playing. Batman #69 Batman finally gets to see the Joker again, after so many months. While Robin did show a suddenly like for the the Joker in the golden age comics. I don't mean that it in any other way, but In the issue. Robin quickly goes to fight the joker, and telling Batman "he's missed the Joker " Batman gets dick Grayson out the way replying "Sorry Robin but the Joker's my personal dish" letting him know once again the Joker is mine. in the golden age. The Batman does  states that "the Joker's mine" constantly for example.The Joker's my meat" it seems like a lot of jokes and fun between the two. yeah, he sure sounds like your enemy batman.

Detective comics # 114 the Joker says "I wasn't expecting you so soon." Which implys he was in fact waiting for the Batman to show up sooner or later, but not so fast, also I would like to say why did the Joker keep Batman alive so long ? He could've shot him, but never does, and if he wants to get rid of Batman so bad in the golden age comics. He could have honestly gotten him out of the way.  Batman #37  later on in the comics you can see Batman's  demeanor towards the Joker is much better than previously. He even says watch out for your step with concern, and then saves him, and  the Joker says "help I'll be hurt" and the dark Knight reply with "I wouldn't want a thing like that happen to you "at the end of this issue Robin asked Batman if you think they'll keep him locked up for good this time, and he replies "Who knows dick. All I know is Batman and Robin will jump at the chance to tangle with him again" Batman enjoys fighting the Joker even though in the newer comics he hates to admit it. Detective # 124 Joker leaves Batman and Robin tied up against the wall, and leaves with his goons. C'mon man you know he's going to escape Joker. Batman issue # 46 the  clown sends Batman a letter which is pretty gay, and has on the bottom love and kisses from the Joker. Batman #52 Batman says "perhaps Bruce Wayne would enjoy being robbed by the Joker." Now we all know this is a set up, but I still love the line nevertheless. Did Batman give the joker what he wanted in the golden age comics to get something from him. Yes, he did. Batman #53  joker "You had your fun. Now give me what I want"  the Joker replied with " you're right Batman I had my fun. You've given me my laughs.  I don't need you anymore " The Joker is in fact saying he did need the Batman but not anymore. Which apparently was to scare Batman. cause when he told his goons to blast him. It's  water guns. Batman #66 Batman openly admits it's a pleasure fighting the joker, and bumping into him. his exact words. " I can't tell you what a pleasure it is bumping into you again, Joker"  he almost sound graceful. The boner thing. I don't even need to go in to detail. You want to read it. It's in Batman 66# the Joker comedy of errors.  Batman #73. Batman says " good fight Joker, but you're finished"  Did he enjoy the fight ?  I think he did, and people who will say Batman was flirty with others. No not like the Joker. Batman #193 the Joker finally gets Batman In his clutches and what do he do to him ? He plays with him, and embarrasses him, but not once tried to kill him while he's with him. He must not be in hurry to kill Batman like some people say.  Detective Comics # 75  Batman shows how much he knows the Joker. He even says  # "my friend"

Also in Batman # 118 Batman is very  worried that the Joker might break his neck while existing the window. Batman also said in Detective comics issue # 91 that he doesn't want to waste The Joker’s time. detective comics #85 the Joker saved Batman from the imposter that's imitating him. in this issue I'm going to point out a  few things in the beginning. Robin tells Batman  that the Joker's "back at it again" and Batman reply with " I'm not so sure dick. It's not like the Joker to beat someone to death with spades and clubs. I think someone is trying to plant murders on the Joker" this gives a great view of how much Batman knows the Joker, even before the new rebirth came out. Batman does want to help the Joker in Batman issue # 2. Batman #71  a crime a day.  Batman says " you're keeping a date with me Joker"  theses  remarks, and comments were flirty. Batman  16 # Batman is surprised that the Joker saved his life. though the madman has lost his memory. Batman has no knowledge of this occurring.  Though Robin believes the Joker only back to his old tricks again. Batman doesn't. He believes maybe the Joker's gotten better, but it shows me how bad Batman really wants that. Batman #19  Batman says "where are you going Joker. The fun is just beginning. " and please remember theses are all from the golden age. Also he goes on to say in this issue " don't tease the animals, and that includes Batman. these remarks, and replies, even saying are flirty, and shows a side of the Joker and Batman relationship already. Batman issues # 20  Batman sticks the Joker on the butt.  though he could have stuck him in any other place. He decides to stick  him on the butt with the spear. Batman sees the Joker as a wise guy. This is mention in Batman # 23. Batman also goes on  to say in this issue at the ending.  "May I have this dance" The Joker says  "I will join in a minute Batman. " Batman also nicknamed the Joker mr funny man. Detective Comics #91  Robin announces to Batman that the Joker finally met his match, and Batman reply with "don't be so sure of that dick. Can't see a guard or convict put anything on him"  Batman thinks very highly of the Joker.  Detective Comics 109 # the  Joker runs towards Batman happily. calling it "touching reunion"  and it  "bought tears to his eyes " You can see how much the Joker actually missed the Batman.

Let's move back to the other villains issues. First I would like to point out that Batman did not interact with the other villains like this in the golden age comics. I'm going  to begin with  the 40 and 50's for now, so anything up to 60s isn't talked about yet. Two face appears in  detective comics #68 Batman # 58    detective comics #66  detective comics #80 detective comics #181 batman #81. In all these issues Batman never once said it's nice seeing you again, and I'm not talking about when they were all bud bud. I'm talking about after he got acid threw in his face. There also was no flirty comments. Witty maybe, but nothing flirty. Let's move on to the Riddler. Though he does not appear much in the 50's 40's  he does appear in Batman #171  Batman #179  detective comics #140  detective comics #142 in these issues the Batman does not say it's nice seeing you again. He also said he doesn't think Riddler can change, but said he believes Joker could, and even believe he could become sane again. For example in Batman issue #59  Batman goes back into the past to see if he could studied his ancestors, and reform the Joker. You go though all that trouble for the joker Bruce ?  he asks the joker "why do you insist using your talents for crazy humorous crimes " the Joker answers with "I don't know maybe I got it from my ancestors they were famous clowns" Batman #97 in this issue Batman seems to really be having fun with the Joker. Batman also refers to the Joker old friend a whole lot. The joker doesn't say this much, but in the recent comics he does. Batman #144  the Joker already shows how well he knows Batman. He hired a guy to impersonate Batman, but when the real Batman shows up. The Joker immediately know from how good he is. He's gotta be the real thing. Now that's all I'm going to talk about. Next I'm going to talk about the sixties and seventies.

[smute]

As a German, do you feel like most of the public supports Palestine or Israel? Because from what I see many of the politicians support the Zionist cause so I wonder if the common people share the same sentiments

you're basically asking me which team i think the majority are rooting for but last time i checked this wasn't a sports match. i honestly wouldn't even know where to begin to explain my views on this war to you. however, in case it was a good faith question:

recent polls show that a majority of germans disapprove of the idf's course of action in light of the many civilian deaths. as a german, my impression is that the VAST majority of people are nothing short of horrified by the suffering of palestinians in gaza and only interested in a non-violent resolution that will bring lasting peace. same as the rest of the world. most germans either disapprove of or openly criticize ANY involvement in armed conflict (ukraine being a notable exception), and the vast majority of people (in fact, the majority of the entire world) condemn israeli settlement policy (that includes german politicians across the spectrum) – in fact, just a year ago, a few months before the attack on october 7, the foreign office warned the israeli government of an escalation of the conflict over new settlement laws for the west bank.

that being said, anything bds-adjacent, anything promoting isolation and escalation over dialogue and mutual understanding, any stance that implies or calls outright for the dissolution of the state of israel will be impossibly hard to sell, not just in germany but in the entire west (however you may define that term) and not only because of the historical ties between many israeli jews and the west, but because israel is too valuable an ally in the region. the relationship between israel and germany specifically is of course a very complex one, and it would be naive to assume that german foreign policy re: israel isn't colored by our shared history, but netanyahu's government has long passed the point of what most people here might defend as the limits of a justified reaction to october 7. they also know that hamas aren't resistance fighters. we're beginning to see that public support for israel's security is not unconditional, is my point. the polls i linked above show that the majority of people (87%) want to put more pressure on the israeli government to guarantee access to humanitarian aid for civilians in gaza, and this was in march

[deepspacedukat]

Dripping With Affection

I mean...were you expecting me to leave my Romulan husband off of my SoC list? I'll take any excuse to write about Letant. Enjoy!

Day 26: Come Marking

SoC prompt list here. SoC Masterlist here. Cross-posted to AO3 here.

~*~

Letant (ST:DS9) x Reader

[A/N: This is smut, so 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI!!!]

Warnings: Interspecies sex, Human/Romulan sex, established relationship, slight jealousy (kind of?), possessive language, possessive behavior, come marking, dom!Letant, sub!reader, risk of getting caught, quickie, sex on a desk.

~*~

I could feel his glare from across the room. As palpable as the sun's rays, my husband's emotions were just as blatantly visible today as they were the day we met. I had to force myself to take a sip of my drink to hide my amused smile.

Letant had stepped away for barely a moment to speak with one of his colleagues about a private little war - political, of course - kissing my cheek and promising to return shortly. Almost as soon as he parted from me, a man's voice had sounded from beside me. Because of the high number of government officials present at this state gathering, there was plenty of security, so I wasn't exactly alarmed to find myself face-to-face with someone I didn't immediately recognize.

"My goodness, what is a lovely lady like yourself doing alone?" A rather short, plump Romulan man with cold, roving, steel-gray eyes offered what felt like a faux smile. "Perhaps I should keep you company. After all, it wouldn't do for your head to be turned by the wrong person."

I hadn't wanted to humor this stranger - in fact, I wanted to slap him for being so presumptuous - but for the sake of my husband's political career and reputation, I had to be as diplomatic as I could. Attempting to laugh off his comment in an airy, casual sort of manner, I stated that my husband hadn't left me without my own means of protection.

Though the man didn't disengage, he seemed a little more subdued, opting to make conversation rather than push his luck. He was well-behaved...for a little bit, at least. I glanced up at one of the many clocks around the room, which had been set up to keep the many officials there on schedule, and found that I'd been talking with him for twenty minutes.

How long could one man talk? I'd mostly tuned him out, nodding silently at his comments without really processing them, but something he said brought me back from my bored stupor.

"You know, if your husband doesn't come back soon, I may just have to take you off his hands. He doesn't deserve such a patient partner. How often does he leave you alone?"

My mouth dropped open, and I had no doubt that surprise was written all over my face - not at the man's second attempt at flirtation, but at his brazenness. To even imply that he'd try something like that with a Senator's wife was one thing, but to state it outright as he'd just done...oh, Letant would rip him apart.

Allowing a cold, disbelieving smirk to stretch my lips, I tilted my head slightly and addressed him.

"Are you actually foolish enough to believe that you'd survive that?"

"Survive what, my love?" Relief barrelled through me when Letant's arms encircled my waist from behind and drew me back against his torso. The man who'd been bothering me suddenly looked considerably paler than before, and his smile seemed quite brittle. "Have you been blustering again, Rakor? How sad. I thought you'd moved past your need to overcompensate for your stature."

A huff of laughter escaped me as Letant nuzzled the space behind my ear.

"If you'll excuse us, I need a word with my wife." The Senator didn't even pretend to wait for an answer, choosing instead to whisk me out the double doors, down the hall, and into a small, empty office in the span of what felt like barely a breath. Cupping my face gently, Letant gazed into my eyes. "You looked uncomfortable speaking with him. Tell me what happened."

What could I do but obey? As I spoke, I watched his expression harden into something dangerous.

"He's fortunate that I didn't snap his neck," he hissed lifting me into his arms. Letant carried me across the room and deposited me atop a desk. "I knew I should've done this before we came here tonight."

Before I could ask what he meant, his lips claimed mine, and I found myself melting beneath his touch. With practiced ease, the Senator tugged the hem of my dress up and brushed his fingertips over my lace-covered vulva. The intensity of his passion coupled with the movements of his skillful, dexterous fingers had me drenched and arching into his touch within mere moments.

I opened my mouth to beg, but before I could utter a syllable, voices sounded from just outside the door. We both froze until the noisy conversation had moved out of earshot, but he didn't move away. If anything, he seemed more determined.

"Anyone could walk in–"

"Yes, they could, but we both know you enjoy this kind of risk," he murmured grasping my jaw as the hand between my legs slipped beneath my panties. He wasted no time, slipping two fingers inside my embarrassingly slick entrance and curling them with precision.

My mate was always passionate, but as he moaned against my neck, I could tell that this desire ran deeper, delving into a much rarer, more primitive sort of hunger. He pulled my pleasure from me in record time, stealing away my screams with a well-timed kiss.

While I was still gasping from my climax, Letant tugged the crotch of my panties to the side, freed his length, and thrust his lok into me.

"So perfect for me, e'lev...such a good girl," he breathed threading his fingers into my hair as he set a fast, unrelenting pace. Smiling against his lips, I recalled how passionate he'd been last night. It wasn't as though there was a lack of opportunity for us to be intimate, yet every time we were drawn to near desperation in our pursuit of pleasure.

Pulling a second orgasm from me as easily as breathing, Letant tilted my head back and watched with relish as I fell apart on his lok. Trembling in his arms, I grasped at his tunic and bit my lip hard to keep myself quiet.

"Whose are you?" His gaze was so intense that it felt as though he was staring into my soul. The grip on the back of my head tightened just a fraction as his hips sped up, chasing his own end.

"Yours," I promised, and Letant muffled a shout against my neck as he reached his peak. The first warm spurt coated my inner walls, but he quickly pulled out and tugged my panties down just far enough to shoot the rest of his come on the inside of the fabric. I couldn't help but whimper when he slipped my underwear back in place. Swallowing the sound with his lips, he hummed contentedly against my mouth.

"There. That ought to remind any overly curious parties to whom you belong," he murmured as he tucked himself away and helped me fix my dress. I got shakily to my feet, and my husband caught my waist to steady me. His lips brushed over my cheek in a barely there kiss. "Careful, now. You're not allowed to collapse. At least, not before I can parade my freshly-scented wife through a ballroom full of dignitaries."

~*~*~

Taglist:

@akamitrani @android-boyfriends @attention-bajoranworkers @bigblissandlove1 @darkmattervibes @emilie786 @horta-in-charge @live-logs-and-proper @slutty-slutty-vulcans @starrynightgardens @toebeans-mcgee

[beevean]

I feel dirty for doing this, but I do have to raise one point in defense of NFCV's Dracula. While Carmilla and Godbrand saw him as either a crazy person or a shortsighted idiot who wasn't planning ahead for what would be done after humanity was dead, it was heavily implied, if not outright stated, that Dracula knew that he was dooming himself and vampirekind to death via starvation, he just didn't care. In Season 2, Episode 6, around the 5 minute mark, when Dracula narrated out loud that he was only moving the castle to get his generals to shut up, he lamented that he was doing all this, "Just to keep the peace between squabbling creatures who will starve and die before the end of the year anyway." Further, Alucard outright said that Dracula wanted to die before calling the war "History's longest suicide note". I read this as Dracula being fully aware that he was going to die as a result of his extermination, in fact, it's what he wanted. His goals were humanity's extinction as revenge for killing Lisa, followed by his own death because he was just so lethargic and miserable for the entirety of season 2, and he just didn't care if the rest of the vampires died out as a result (Which, honestly, makes the fact that as many of them followed him as they did completely ridiculous, but then again, none of them were actual characters outside of Carmilla and Godbrand).

I know. "He just didn't care" is exactly my point :P

The games never think too deeply about the consequences of Dracula's eventual victory, that much is true. Logically, it's an easy conclusion to reach: if Dracula manages to destroy mankind, and he's a vampire who needs humans to live, he'll eventually starve. But I think it's because it's not really the point: we already know that Dracula's plan is insane, and him for even going through it.

Dracula is targeting the entirety of mankind for the sins of a mob in a random village. Dracula went so far as to make a pact with an Evil God to gain more power. Dracula is completely disrespecting Lisa's memory - he may not have known her last words, but surely he'd know that she wouldn't appreciate a mass slaughter of her own kind in her name. Hell, LoI is all about how Dracula has been an overdramatic, spiteful, petty king even as a human! "Wife died. I'm going to reject my whole humanity, and in doing so causing the death of my bestie's fiancée, but that's okay, I'll propose him to become immortal later". Dracula is not operating on rational thinking, it's obvious: he's a wounded animal lashing out, but this wounded animal is a threat to humanity as a whole.

It's the tone of the show that is different. They never bring up the sheer cruelty of Dracula's overreaction, not even Alucard himself, who just halfheartedly says in episode 1 "well, just kill the people who were responsible!" (thanks man, you're really helpful). Dracula is not really planning anything: the death of starvation of vampirekind feels like an afterthought to him, because the poor thing just wants to die. Dracula is stuck in his Depression Chair not because he's an arrogant lord who can afford to defend himself through the Legions of Hell, the two superhuman knights that command them, and Death itself (or not, since the show didn't even give him that): no, he's just So Depressed and lethargic, as you said. Dracula is relegating everything to others, while patiently waiting for everyone to die. And the others clearly aren't doing a good job, since Carmilla can whisper in Hector's ear "hey prettyboy mind going to braila" and that's it, she seized control of the castle.

Dracula and Isaac knew that Carmilla was bad news. They gave her want she wanted anyway, and then had the balls to go all surprisedpikachu.jpg face when her plan proved to be for her benefit and their downfall.

Dracula: So if I let them go to Braila, they'll stop scheming and whining. Isaac: I think so. It will give Carmilla some power, but that's not a bad thing. Dracula: No. The War Room will speak to you and Hector in one voice instead of a dozen. Isaac: Indeed. And at the end of the day, you don't care. So long as the war continues. Dracula: *sighs* Fine, then. I'm tired, lsaac.

And while I certainly am happy to blame Isaac, the pretentious prick who thinks he's so smart, I'm not letting Dracula getting away with this. Again. Dude allowed Carmilla to insult him and Lisa in public, with her reasoning being literally "I gave you the opportunity to address everyone's concerns", and gave her less than a slap on the wrist. Everything about her screams "I'm only here to amuse myself and I don't respect any of you", and she is not stopped on the first day because uhhh plot reasons (she really should have been more subtle, but eh).

It's just... everything compounded that paints a poor picture of Dracula. He's a Depressed Man whose evil plan at this point is working on inertia (I don't think we see a single village being destroyed in S2, the most that happens is Carmilla making Hector send his Night Creatures to the Belmont Hold? Again, instead of another scene where Alucard is a cunt to Trevor, how about showing us the important shit that is going on?), and whose Depression allows everyone to do what they want because he just wouldn't command an ounce of respect anymore. And, and this is the important part, we're meant to see him as a deep, nuanced, tragic character because he's Sad.

Admittedly, I'm biased. One, Shankar himself painted Dracula as "not an actual villain", as if we're meant to feel sorry for the guy. So the authorial intent of stripping Dracula of his perceived "evil" is there.

Two, this is personal :P but the one thing, the one singular thing that snapped me out of my appreciation of IDW Sonic is precisely a similar instance:

Eggman, the dude who canonically managed to conquer the world some months prior and always had backup plans for his backup plans (Sonic Forces), is now a mindless buffoon that refused to think of a cure for his apocalyptic virus because... eh, couldn't be bothered. Even when his own plan miserably fails, he refuses to think of a cure out of childish stubborness.

And why is that so? Because Eggman canonically is a dumbass who "never, ever has a solid plan"? Nope, to prop up the OC, who is so much smarter than the main villain of the stupid games!

The shilling was so blatant I couldn't believe my eyes at how fast the writing had downgraded. (and then it got worse lol)

Funnily enough, Starline and Carmilla have a similar downfall. Starline ends up stealing Eggman's tech to do everything, his plan is straight up insensical (replacing Sonic and Tails with Surge and Kit, his evil androids that look and act nothing like the real deal, to subvert the hero/villain cycle???) and he dies like a jobber. Carmilla wakes up one day and decides to conquer the world ignoring the logicistical difficulties, so that she too can get the "wow she's so stupid for not thinking things through" treatment. So everything they did was for nothing. I'd say they're clever parallels, but that would need the writing to be clever.

And Frontiers also gave Eggman the "humanization" process by making him suddenly accept a creation of his as his daughter... while also making him completely ineffectual, relegating him to a corner of the plot while the real antagonist was using Sonic for its purposes. I watched NFCV not long after Frontiers came out. By that time I was tired of this.

So I suppose I'm rather... sensitive to this kind of writing, where the villain is downgraded either in villainy or effectiveness for the sake of either 1) making them more pitiable, or 2) allowing OCs to look better by comparison.

[sevikas-whore]

I don’t really do anything but repost on this account but oh lawd I NEED to put this somewhere,

I just saw a tiktok of a girl who was talking about her theories in regards to Eris and his character, and it reminded me of these other tiktoks that I saw a while ago where either, the person who posted the video or people in their comment sections believed/ hoped that Eris and Mor are mates and just- no? 

Like, obviously that is a theory and we never know what kind of shit author lady’s gonna pull, but I hope with my whole body, mind and soul that that’s not where this is headed. 

Because, while I was going through the comments, I saw a lot of the people who hope Eris and Mor are mates, defending themselves by going on about how “oh why else would Eris be asking after her when he’s in the NC” and “oh but why would he care for Mor if he wasn’t mated to her” and just- immediate confusion. 

I feel like making Mor and Eris mates is just so incredibly redundant for both of their characters. In regards to Mor, right now, given that one of the few things that we do know about her is that she's a lesbian, and that its heavily implied (or outright stated) that she's struggled to come to terms with that part of herself, I feel like, to put her character in a mating bond with a man, a man that she has severe trauma about/from would not only be really frustrating from a storyline pov but also because, Mor is one of the only LGBTQ+ characters in the entire series.

As a character, we don't know much about Eris either, that being said, we've gotten to know him better throughout ACOSF, and with the knowledge we have of him, I don't think him asking about Mor's wellbeing has anything to do with some mating bond between the two of them. Rather, I think it speaks to him as a character, he's actively putting his life at risk to go behind his fathers back (wasn't it said at some point that Beron is crueler than Rhys' father ever was?) and ally himself with a group of people who despise him.

Remember when Cassian said something like "what'll happen when Beron finds out you've betrayed him?" and Eris was genuinely terrified because Cassian had just implied that the IC would go and tell Beron and Eris was horrified that his father would kill him?

Like, I strongly believe that Eris and Rhys are quite similar in the sense that, I think the both of them put on this mask of cruelty and cold indifference, the only difference being that Eris isn't surrounded by friends who he can be himself around.

I feel like this got horrifically off topic but I'm thinking so many thoughts and I genuinely don't know how to put them in a way that makes any comprehensible sense

[davekat-sucks]

Hello monsieur davekatsucks. Sorry if this is a lot but your cherub talk reminded me. I am thinking about how hypocritically sexualized all the friendsim trolls were. You know, on the planet whose society's whole deal is that *only kids live there*... and then one of the authors said Chahut would be over 18 earth years of age like that matters? It's a whole different society man, they aren't considered adults until they go off planet, they would think you're a sicko, it's just another "erm she's actually technically 30 she's just a species that ages slower" argument (mixed with a fun flipped sprinkling of "erm actually the age of consent in some places is xyz"!) except all of the antis bought it this time because they personally thought the character was hot and that justifies as many loopholes in their logic as need be to make them not feel icky or ever have to think about their own capacity to do bad things. It's almost like the randomly generated number they stick on the wiki page for a character doesn't matter at all in comparison to how mature they look and act! You're so close to getting it!!!! Idk I'm tired. And randomly paranoid that tumblr won't keep me anon for this ask, if it's not then kmn ig

It doesn't help as well that Chaut also tells Amisia that she knows trolls YOUNGER than her that have already in quadrants. So that implies someone as young as say 3-4 years old, would have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe she doesn't imply outright sex or do pailing, but it shows that trolls in Alternia are aware of how their species reproduce and the consequences if they contribute for the Mother Grub. Just try to comprehend someone as young as that would have to know about sex and said child is told if they don't contribute to sex, they will DIE. By that logic, if someone as young as that could start a quadrant, then that means age gap would be NOTHING since they are all kids and they need to fuck with someone else to make future troll babies. If Alternia is not just a dangerously environmental planet that grooms aliens about racism and violence, it's also a breeding ground for the young. The other time WhatPumpkin backed down on the Hiveswap Trolls being older than the humans was with Hiveswap Act 2 where Elwurd would flirt with Joey. It has been implied in Elwurd's route in Hiveswap Friendsim that she is or close to an age of adulthood that she would have to leave the planet when she tells MSPA Reader that she and her ex (Bronya) wanted to request combat assignments on the same ship so they won't be separated.

Nobody was sure how old Joey was and people think she is 12 or 13. It wasn't until Homestuck Team in a Curious Cat question that they clarify that Joey is 14 years old since she was born in the year 1980, that Elwurd was 16 and Bronya was 17. But that raises the question on what can be considered adulthood at this point if someone like Elwurd and Bronya could request early to be on the same group before they can leave the planet for good. And knowing that most Jadebloods would have be sent to isolation upon adulthood, a request for a cerulean and jade to be together might be rare, but could be possible if planned ahead of time. So would the years of 16-18 are considered the early stages of young adulthood before becoming legal adults? So wouldn't that mean Elwurd will still be older than Joey in that regard because in Elwurd's POV and stance within Alternian society, she is already an adult at that point. And yeah, the trolls in Friendsim are kind of sexualized. At least by the end in Lanque's route where Ardata reminds you that the Hiveswap Friendsim game is for MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY. And the Bad End in Lanque's route if you confirm you are an adult, is him and MSPA Reader (You) having a ONE NIGHT SEX STAND. Sure it fades out to black, but they don't beat around the bush that the two of them FUCKED. Lanque is stated in that same CuriousCat question that he is 18. So if the person playing the game was like 13 when they first played this game and would think MSPA Reader is the same age as them.... then yeah, that makes it all worse because of that 5 year age gap.

[romanticizingmurder]

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

😁😁😁

🤍: everyone already knows I'm gonna say Marius and yeah, Marius. I think trying to rank morality in a series that is starkly unconcerned with anyone facing ~accountability~ and that is about creatures who kill hundreds and thousands is a silly, but. I will say. I think the idea that I see sort of implied or outright stated that out of the vampires, Marius is one of the more morally dubious ones is particularly strange to me? I would say I consider them all Terrible by nature but in terms of Wanton Destruction or Cruelty, Marius isn't even in my top 10 of the series.

💖: Most obvious answer is of course that I do not believe Marius groomed Armand romantically/sexually, I don't think their relationship was abusive, and I don't think the narrative intended for it to be.

Less obvious answer is basically everything with Benji and Sybelle but namely 1) that I don't think turning Sybelle (Benji is a bit different imo) was particularly terrible and it personally kind irks me how Sybelle and Benji are sort of treated like Armand's property wrt that. If Sybelle consented to be turned, in as much as you can consent to that, turning her was no worse than turning Viktor or Rose or any other willing mortal. Armand's horror at vampirism does not override someone else's autonomy, particularly someone he himself got involved in that world to begin with. And 2) I think if they fell ill or started dying or just looked too old, Armand would have turned them. I don't think Armand could have watched them die.

🧡: I don't know how popular it is but anything implying Daniel wasn't ~really~ unable to care for himself and that Marius was just being controlling makes me feel like that "Flames! Flames on the side of my face!" gif that used to be popular on here

[danmeiconfession]

a reply to https://www.tumblr.com/danmeiconfession/729135240003698688/a-reply-to-this?source=share, as the person who wrote the original.

i never said shen yuan broke the cycle as in "had an abusive upbringing but chose to not inflict it on someone else". he did, however, step into the place of luo bingmei's abuser, and instead of giving him hatred, he saved luo binghe through love. he broke someone else's cycle through being forced into it.

it's impossible for a person to break a cycle of abuse without other people caring about them. if you never learn there's a better alternative, that you don't need to choose between being the person who inflicts pain and the person who is pained, then you'll choose to stop being hurt one way or another. shen yuan broke the cycle by being the precise person who showed luo bingmei he had the option to not be a part of that cycle, that it was possible to have kindness without "earning" it through strength and domination.

also, how exactly is luo bingmei "exactly the same" as luo bingge? there are only two scenes i can think of where luo bingmei may have raped shen qingqiu: the first is the scene in the fake bamboo hut, which wasn't even a real attempt and a way to scare shen qingqiu. bad joke, certainly! but not actually trying to rape shen qingqiu. if you meant maigu ridge, that was rape for both parties, luo binghe was too out of his mind to know what happened. hell, he canonically doesn't consider it his first time, probably because he never chose it.

if we're talking about violence, he certainly isn't that. with the human cauldrons, he crippled many people's cultivation, but i don't see where it's confirmed he killed them. meanwhile, luo bingge has massacred thousands. he certainly turned old palace master into a human stick like bingge with shen jiu, but like. this is the guy who killed his mother, lusted after his mother, and there's evidence he likely made some move on bingmei. i am inclined to give him sympathy here. but even if we consider the human stick situations to be the same, the simple scale of the violence can't be compared.

and in terms of the cycle of abuse: its not just shen jiu that bingge hurt. sure, he tortured his abuser for ages, and inflicted all sorts of violence on cang qiong mountain, that by itself is part of it. but we certainly can't forget about the wives. it's the fact that he rapes at least 10% of his wives, its the wives he lets hurt each other as much as they want as long as none outright die. its the common people he forces to server under his iron will. shen jiu was just one early part of it, but he quickly became just another enemy for bingge to crush. and i don't know about you, but i dont see bingge inclined to kill thousands and rape dozens in the extras.

also, in regards to your response to my confession proper. i am certainly willing to give you the quotes to prove that shen jiu abused disciples if you want them, but i get the feeling you'll ignore it. and what suspicions did yue qingyuan not believe? his suspicions against shang qinghua? true, not believing him on that part was a flaw. but if you mean luo binghe, i hardly see how a seemingly-human child was anything to be suspicious of. theres no way that shen jiu knew luo bingge was a demon until he was thrown into the abyss, and assuming he did tell yue qingyuan, what precisely could he have for shen jiu at that point in time? if you mean to imply that shen jiu somehow knew luo bingge was a demon as a disciple, i'd very much like to know how exactly he would think that, and why he'd not have banished luo bingge from his peak immediately upon discovery.

SA is still a SA no matter how many times abuser says that it was a joke and they weren't in the right mental state or some "excuse" like that or how they are sorry that they did that.

I haven't said that they are the same I said they are closer than what we're tend to believe and about circle of abuse my point still stands, he was obsessed with SJ so his torture was worse.

I pointed it out that I was talking about SQH.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides of The Same Coin - Chapter 22: "Safe and Sound'

"Don't you dare look out your window, darling, everything's on fire. The war outside our door keeps raging on..."

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

“So what did you talk to Sam about?” Bucky asks, trying and failing to be nonchalant. "After what happened - the kidnapping, I mean."

He couldn't deal anymore, not knowing, the waiting for you to voluntarily tell him - it bothered him. He'd been a frantic, antsy mess since your kidnapping and this was one more thing that he just couldn't not know.

It had been a little over a month since your kidnapping. The dust had settled since your kidnapping, your face healed, and he waited and waited for you to tell him anything. To tell him the kiss meant something or that it meant nothing. To tell him that he crossed a line, something, anything.

But it never came.

Steve was right about the terrible timing, Bucky saw you struggle the last few weeks without missions, aimlessly walking around the Compound with someone always walking right on your heels. He didn't want to push because he knew you needed that stability more than he needed to talk about what happened, but his frayed nerves couldn't take it anymore. 

“About what Rumlow said.”

“Oh,” he frowns, not sure if it’s better or worse that you didn’t say anything to Sam. On one hand, he’s glad Sam isn’t going to try and kill him for his awful timing. On the other hand, it’s a blow to his pride that you didn’t mention it to Sam, especially considering that you tell Sam everything. Now he can't help but think that maybe this wasn't important enough for you to tell Sam.

“Why? What did you think I was telling Sam?” you ask, hoping to imply what you weren't brave enough to outright ask. Just like Bucky'd been waiting on you, you were waiting on him. 

“Nothing, I was just wondering.”

“Okay,” you shrug, trying to hide your disappointment by scribbling away in your journal. Bucky loudly groans in frustration, prompting you to close your journal back up and turn back toward Bucky. “Is everything okay?”

“Just great,” he grouses.

“Really? Because you seem kind of frustrated.”

“Really? Do I seem that way to you?” he snarks.

“And a little more grumpy than usual,” you add.

“I wonder why,” he scoffs.

“I’m wondering why too!”

“Agghhh….” he groans, clenching his fist tightly. 

“James?” you urge. 

“Maybe I want to know why you didn’t tell Sam about the kiss!” he thunders, clenching the wooden table so hard you're worried it's going to break.

“Oh,” you state, your eyes widening at Bucky's sudden outburst. 

“Yeah,” Bucky exhales, standing up and turning to walk out the door. 

“Wait,” you call, a burst of air flinging the door shut.

“What?” Bucky grunts, turning away from the door that was just slammed in his face.

“Alright, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen this before in movies and I hate the way it plays out, so we’re not going to do that. I know if I let you walk out that door right now, you’ll avoid me for a while, we won’t talk, and things will just get worse and worse until we can’t stand to be in the same room anymore, so you’re going to sit there and listen to me talk,” you ramble, demandingly pointing to the chair across from you.  

Bucky sighs, already feeling a smile tug at his lips. It’s a good sign that you refused to let him just walk out of your life, not that he wanted to in the first place. “Go ahead then. Talk,” he mutters, pulling the seat out again and taking a seat.

“Right,” you nod, though you’re unsure of where to begin.

“Well?” Bucky probes.

“Well, I just - I didn’t tell Sam because I figured we should talk about it first.”

“Oh,” Bucky replies, feeling awfully stupid at how simple of an explanation that was.

“I've just- I've been trying to sort through everything. Not that this isn't important, but I've had a lot on my mind," you breathe. You see Bucky's eyebrows begin to furrow, a mix of worry and concern on his face, so you add, purposefully keeping your tone light and playful, "And if you weren’t being so dramatic and just asked me, I would have told you that.”

“I thought that maybe…” he trails off.

“That?”

“Maybe it didn’t mean anything to you.”

“You know what they say about assuming,” you quip, placing your elbows on the table and leaning closer to Bucky.

“What?” he smirks, mimicking your actions and leaning into you. 

You chuckle, “You make an ass out of you and me.”

"Who's making an ass out of themselves?" Tony asks, walking in from the other room. 

"Just you," Bucky grumbles under his breath as you straighten your back and stand from your seat.

"Be nice," you playfully scold, slapping Bucky's shoulder. 

“Anyway, you're with me today, Pinkie-"

"Wait, really?" you exclaim. You'd given up checking on what missions and assignments two weeks ago, mostly because you knew Sam was adamant about keeping you benched. 

"Really," Tony wryly affirms. "Unless you don't want to?"

"No, I want to," you quickly insist, following Tony as he lazily strolls out of the room. He knew you'd been chomping at the bit to do anything. He understood that much: the not wanting to still still and ruminate after traumatic events. So he'd made a case for you, and after a little bit of convincing Steve and Sam, you were finally getting taken off the bench. 

"Should you really be going on a mission so quickly?” Bucky asks you as the three of you walk down the hall to the conference room. 

“Ah,” you wave dismissively. “I bounce back fast. Plus I was only tied up for like 3 hours. That’s nothing. Try 3 weeks - now that’s bad.”

They both suddenly get very quiet as both Tony and Bucky both stare at you with widened eyes. "Uh, you can laugh. It was just a joke." "Then you have a strange sense of humor," Tony remarks, guiding you into the conference room. As you all walk into the room, Tony gestures to the unfamiliar man that just appeared in front of you. "Pinkie, this is Dr. Strange, a somewhat reluctant, partially absent ally of the Avengers."

“I thought I’d be meeting you today,” Dr. Strange mutters, looking particularly unimpressed by you. Your eyes flicker to Tony for reassurance. 

“Everything okay, Strange?” Tony asks, looking equally confused.

“Interesting,” he nods at you. “Will she be joining us?”

“That’s the plan,” Tony replies.

“Then I won’t be,” he states.

“What?” you chuckle awkwardly.

“I’m sorry- It’s really nothing personal, you’re just not ready yet.”

“I know she doesn’t look it, but she’s been on plenty of missions before,” Tony jokes.

“I’m not talking about missions, Tony. I can't actually tell you. In simple terms, she's just yet to pick a side."

“I’m confused,” you reply, your eyes flickering to Tony, who you hope can shed some light on the situation. 

Tony shrugs. “Don’t look at me. I’m as confused as you are.”

Strange takes a deep breath, his necklace opening up to reveal a green stone. “Pretty,” you awe, subconsciously reaching your hand out to touch it. 

“Don’t touch,” Strange orders, his eyes still closed. He exhales one last time before opening his eyes. “I can show you.”

“Oh, where are we going?” you ask, voice filled with forced excitement.

“I’m going to show you in here,” he says, lightly tapping his temple.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Tony warns. "Last person that messed with her head did not come out unscathed."

“I’m not messing with her head, I’m helping her understand,” Strange cryptically explains.

“Okay,” you nod, taking Dr. Strange’s hand. And the second you touch his hand, you’re sucked out of the room. Tony and Bucky are no longer standing in front of you, you’re no longer in the Compound. It’s almost like you’re watching a movie, watching yourself like a weird out of body experience. You look around for a moment and see nothing. You look to Strange for reassurance but he's not there either. You reluctantly take another step forward and then you see it: 

-

You see a stunned Bucky standing in front of you. Your face splattered with his blood. The blood of the love of your life. The life that was just taken in exchange for yours. His lifeless body slumps down in front of you. Your Bucky. Dead. Killed.

"James," you squeak. "James!"

"No, no, no," you hyperventilate, throwing yourself over him and frantically trying to figure out how you can save him.

A borderline animalistic scream leaves your body. You throw yourself on top of him, begging him to wake up. The winds start to pick up, there's rumbling underneath the ground that sends chills up Steve's spine. And when you look up, Steve's not even sure he recognizes you. You definitely don’t recognize yourself. 

With one hand you send Steve flying against a building. “There’s nothing to gain from doing this," he shouts.

“We were done. We were walking away. We were going to be happy," you ominously state, the anger building in your voice. "Now Sam is dead. James is dead. I’ve got nothing left to lose.”

-

Then you're in a brand new scene - this one almost equally jarring.

“You’re going to just leave me in here? You fucking traitor,” you call through the metal bars. At first you can't make out the figure standing in the shadows, but the second he steps forward you see that it's Sam. 

You’re in a cell, completely restrained in a straitjacket and large black collar around your neck with Sam watching you, a coldness in his eyes you’d never seen before. “You’re a murderer. You’re exactly where you belong.”

“You did this to me. You and the Avengers turned me into this,” you spit.

“He’s dead,” Sam snaps. “And it’s your fault. Your’s and your’s alone.”

“When I'm done with you, you’re going to wish you never met me.”

“I already do,” Sam seethes. 

You bitterly chuckle. “When I get out of here, you’re gonna see what a real betrayal is.”

-

The scene changes and you’re in the forest in Wakanda, you look around confused about the sudden change of scenery. Then you see it, Bucky dusting right in front of Steve, your name on Bucky’s lips as he fades away. 

“James,” Steve hears you call from somewhere nearby.

“James?” he hears again, this time more frantic.

“Steve, where’s James?” you pleadingly ask, finally walking into Steve's sight. Your face drops as soon as you see the look on his face.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve whispers.

A pained, devastated expression forms on your face. Your chest heaving like you can't breathe. "He's gone?"

"I need you to calm down," Steve pleads, winds howling around him. 

"We'll get them back- I swear to you- we will get them back, but right now I need you to calm down," Steve says, wrapping his arms around you. You're unable to contain the scream building in the back of your throat or the way your familiar powers rage against you. Wind begins whistling, clouds turning an eerie gray as your turmoil continues. Trees all around you begin to burst into flames, the violent winds making it all worse. The ground starts rumbling and with each sob large cracks form in the field you just fought on. "I need you to breathe. It'll be okay."

"He's gone," you sob again.

"Steve, what's going on?" Natasha says, surveying the new destruction around her.

"Bucky," Is all he says, his arms still wrapped around your convulsing body.

"Oh my God," she whispers, her heart breaking for you.

"You guys need to get out of here. She's lost control."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine. She wouldn't hurt me."

"Maybe not on purpose, but if she's lost control..."

"I'll be fine. I just have to calm her down."

The scene fades once more. You’re not in this one, not at first. You see Bucky walk into the compound, eyes frantically searching for someone.

"Where is she?" Bucky says, craning his neck to look over Steve.

"Bucky..." Steve sighs, holding out his hand to stop Bucky

"Where is she?" Bucky demands more urgently.

"Buck..."

"Where is she?" Bucky shouts this time. "She's not...She can't be-"

"No, it's not like that. She's alive," Steve assures him, though it's not much of an actual reassurance. 

Bucky sighs in relief. "So where-"

"After you dusted, it was bad. Really bad. She burned down that entire forest."

"No," Bucky whispers. "She wouldn't do that."

"It was an accident. I knew that- I still know that. Once we got her calmed down, she couldn't do it. Be here without you."

"So she left the team?"

Steve lips pull in, unsure of how to explain to his friend the tumultuous days after the Snap. It wasn't fair, Steve knew that. Five years later, he was still pleading your case. But after the Snap, there was only one thing that the remaining government and SHIELD members could agree on: you couldn't be allowed to walk away. "That was the plan, but the government- SHIELD, they didn't want someone like her walking around, doing whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted."

"I won't ask again, Steve,” Bucky barks. “Where is she?"

"I'm sorry- I tried to talk them out of it. She wouldn't stay without you and they weren't going to let her leave."

Bucky approaches, what can really only be called a cell, slowly. He looks at you through the one-way mirror. You're in a straightjacket with that same collar, huddled up in a corner, humming to yourself. Etched on all the walls are little scratches, marks keeping track of your time there.

-

The scene fades again and this time you and Sam are on Vormir. 

The two of you listened to the explanation, a sacrifice had to be made. Sam looked down at you and nodded, pulling you into a tight embrace. You instinctively knew that this was him saying goodbye, that he was going to try and make the sacrifice himself.

When you pull away, you wipe away the stray tears and mumble, "I'm sorry."

"What?" he breathes. Your eyes flicker downward and he looks to see stone completely encapsulating his leg, rendering him almost completely motionless and most importantly, keeping him from making the sacrifice. “No, you can't do this. I will never forgive you if you do this,” he barks as you back away from him.

“And I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t,” you reply, standing at the edge of the cliff trying not to look down. “Take care of James for me. Tell him I love him.”

“I mean it,” Sam tries again, his voice cracking with desperation and helplessness. “I will never forgive you. Ever. I’ll hate you for the rest of my life. I swear it, I will hate you forever.”

“That’s okay,” you swallow, giving Sam one last tear-filled smile. “Love you, Sam.”

-

There’s other, shorter flickers. Like if Nick Fury hadn’t found you when he did, your hardened, embittered self on the run without a single ally, resource, or connection. 

-

“What is this?” you call out into the nothingness.

“It’s you. Different timelines. Alternate realities, whatever you’d like to call it,” Strange says, having reappeared by your side.

“I don’t understand. What does this mean? I’m…bad? I'm- what? Why did you show me this?” you anxiously demand.  

“It means you haven’t reached that choice. That choice that sways you one way or the other.”

“But what choice is it?” you ask, turning back around to face him. But you're just as suddenly back at the compound, Tony and Bucky arguing in front of you, Strange to the side of them like nothing happened.

“I can’t tell you," he replies simply, still mostly ignoring the two other men. "But you’ll know once it’s made.”

“That couldn’t have been more cryptic if you tried,” Tony snarks. 

“Doll, are you okay? What happened?” Bucky asks, frantically looking you over to make sure you’re unharmed.

“I don’t know,” you absently mumble, still staring at Dr. Strange.

“Don’t listen to him. He’s full of shit,” Bucky states, though he has no idea what you were shown, it could've been true or something dire, but he just knows you look completely rattled, and that he instinctively wants to make you feel better. 

The tension in the air is palpable as you keep thinking about what Dr. Strange just showed you.

“I don’t think he is,” you brokenly whisper.

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