#i feel like when i have a response i am always reminding myself that i'm home and that i'm safe

[pookiebearmick]

galladrabbles - safe and sound by tonight alive

i've been thinking about @mickeym4ndy's post about mickey struggling with his trauma post canon a lot! i feel like this @galladrabbles prompt from @deathclassic works well with a more healed post canon mickey who still struggles with his past traumas when something triggers a response + comforting husband ian being a sweetie

Things have been going really well for Mickey and Ian over the past couple of years - they have their business, Ian’s looking into what requirements he needs to become an EMT again, they’re even looking into renting a house closer to the Southside so they can be more involved uncles.

It all seems to come to a halt when Colin calls, asking Mickey to get him out of some shitty deal he made with Uncle Ronnie. It sends Mickey’s defenses up, right back into Terry’s world.

“Hey, Mick,” Ian says softly, reminding. “We’re home. We’re safe. He’s gone. Terry’s gone.”

[mrs-weasley-reid]

AUGUST REC FICS

Hello, my sweets!! Here I am, once again, for yet another month of reading and living vicariously through our one and only Reader. I haven't read much this past month, and most of these sweet authors are people I follow (and shockingly, some are my mutuals, too !!! I'm too much of a fangirl to believe it's true). Give these gorgeous, spectacular writers a ton of love. They all deserve it so much, considering they're blessing us with such amazing work for free. Like. Comment. Reblog. The equivalent of a five-star review

Like always, I will be going based on what I've read recently and not by the date the fic was posted. Reminder to please respect these writers. Some contents are 18+. MINORS should not be interacting in any way.

— ✿ — ✿ ✿ — ✿ ✿ ✿

Spencer Reid

✿ a muted shade of green by @dalamjisung ↳ the flow of this fic was so smooth my jaw dropped down on the floor as i read through (writer's first reid fic, and it was chef's kiss)

✿ hearts aligned by @raekensluver ↳ OMG this one had me melting. roommate spencer is such a dream

✿ sick love by @misserabella ↳ guilty pleasure unlocked. a wonderful reading session filled with interesting discoveries

✿ behind closed doors by @incognit0slut ↳ i loved binging this so much !!! was a giggling, kicking mess while reading this one; and it has four parts ! we're so spoiled

✿ kiss it better by @nereidprinc3ss ↳ tmi but was having an episode of mild anxiety attack, and this saved me in the middle of the night, giggling myself to sleep, so thank you for such amazing work x

✿ dead of night & nightvisions by @cxrrodedcoffin ↳ lol i read this at work and had to fight battles not to make any facial signs that i was consuming kinky content. the second part was another level, i was cackling like a witch

✿ much ado about nothing: act iii, scene v & act iv, scene i by @incognit0slut ↳ act iii, scene v left me speechless, reader didn't fold and i took that as a win. act iv, scene i played with my emotions lol

✿ just a number by @reidsdaisies ↳ i became a stand-up actress while reading this because it's overwhelmingly spicy and filled with tension i had to provide comedic relief for myself

✿ untittled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ no because i saw my reblog post of this and i immediately snorted and then laughed some more after rereading it. pipe cleaner will never not be funny to me

✿ poison me, i'm fine by @gghostwriter ↳ no because this one needs more attention ?????????????? i loved reading this so much i was so tempted to pull my heart out and ship it to pau, show how crumpled it was after reading

✿ my best colors for your portrait & my face in every place by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i wasn't lying when i said august is for angst and i immediately gobbled this up after seeing it. the way my chest was so tight but also smiling because the writing style is amazing got me looking like a lunatic

✿ cute, outraged genius by @lavenderspence ↳ tina got me laughing like a gremlin. it's so adorable she made me fall in love with spencer all over again

✿ another untitled req response by @mandarinmoons ↳ sorry, sweethearts, ket just couldn't be bothered with titles lmao. secret lover reader is my favorite lover, sooooo you all will enjoy this cutie patootie creation

✿ one single thread of gold by @gghostwriter ↳ you'll overdose of sweetness. it's so adorable and a great way to feel giggly about spencer reid.

✿ for the fear of falling apart | part one by @pathologicalreid ↳ i haven't read the rest of the parts but mhmmm this was DELISH. well-written creation that made me show emotions while reading at work. my coworkers asked me my my eyes were so wide and i think that says a lot at how great this is

✿ second to none by @raekensluver ↳ ooooo this one got my blood boiling in a good way

✿ untitled work by @sincerelybubbles ↳ adorable stuff make me melt especially when it's a spencer one

— ✦ — ✦ ✦ — ✦ ✦ ✦

Aaron Hotchner

✦ darling, in any life series by @hotchfiles ↳ at this point are we even surprise im including yet another series form lari here ? anywayyy, i love me some old flame trope

✦ picket fence dream by @hotchfiles ↳ this is a new part from the choiceless hope series and i gobbled it up. i was screaming when i read this

✦ tells by @ssahotchnerr ↳ first thing i read in the morning, and i sobbed from the overwhelming sweetness

✦ silver by @solardrop ↳ okay but this was so adorable ??? plus im def one of those gals who tried to throw herself on him, maybe even catapult myself

✦ sympathy for the devil by @hotchfiles ↳ nosebleed. spice level is not as high as i make it seem but the writing really got me sweating. just read it, you'll understand what i mean

✦ spending time with you by @lavenderspence ↳ no because TINA CALLED ME OUT WITHOUT CALLING ME OUT. i was slightly offended. the gasp i gasped was so loud asdkfnkg. but it is adorable, go read it pls pls

✦ doctor, love by @none-of-your-bullshit ↳ i love when reader slaps the character with some reality like a seasoned raw steak.

sorry, not sorry if this post is filled with lari. I reread her works religiously, so here are my favorites from hers truly:

✦ help me hold onto you ↳ oh, this is like crack for me, and i always come crawling back no matter how hard i try to stay sober

✦ half asleep takin' chances ↳ still waiting for future aaron somewhere out there

✦ choices ↳ gonna be honest with everyone this one makes me wanna deck aaron hotchner and then deck reader for folding so easily and also deck myself because im no better than reader

✦ quis ut deus? & daniel 12:1 ↳ my fave series from lari and i will never not reread them over and over and over and over again because i love it so much idk what's the appeal on me but i love it and i want this framed and buried with me even if it's unfinished

I haven't had a lot of time to visit the good ole "for you" feed in a while, so I apologize for missing all the amazing work every writer has put out this month. I will make it up to you, I promise! And if you'd like, you can send me works or mention me so I can read certain creations that you deem noteworthy for the next rec fic month!

love lots, ker x

[rosemaze-reveries]

During an interview, the manor guests suddenly get a question about you. (Part 2)

hello hello! here is part 2 as promised. there are less characters than I hoped to write, but in exchange each blurb is a little longer than pt.1 !

part 1 can be found here

🦌🪼🤡🦎🪞🤕🕯️🎭

Q. Could you describe your relationship with (Y/N)?

🦌 Bane rubs his chin, tracing his memory. "Hm... Indeed, I'm familiar with that name. I'd suppose that's someone I knew when I worked for the DeRosses." He crosses his arms with a low, contemplative grunt, as if struggling to remember anything else. "I'd need a photograph." I happen to have a couple on hand, and he takes them gently. A long period of silence follows. After leafing through the photos for some time, he says: "I remember. They were always talking about marriage." With you? "Mm. I was never interested, but I never said no. Eventually I made them a ring from a scrap of iron. I hoped they'd stop visiting me if I satisfied them... It's too dangerous to come to the forest everyday." Then he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a ring of his own. "In exchange, they gave one back." He's been cherishing it all this time, even when he'd forgotten its origin.

🪼 Ivy - "I'm no stranger to feeling like I'm missing my other half, you know. That sense of loss is one of the only constants I have left. (Y/N) fills my emptiness, and without them it increases twofold." I open my mouth to ask, Do you think you could be soulmates? but then my eyes dart to the Yithian and I realize my mistake. Sorry, was that insensitive? Ivy is not amused with my implication that she might be interested in claiming (Y/N)'s soul. "My dear interviewer, I am a scholar, not a monster. Whatever you're insinuating, you're gravely mistaken."

🤡 Joker's face suddenly hardens, in spite of the fragile, twiddling-thumbs demeanor he'd shown me thus far. His hands ball into shaking fists and his lips purse, as if he's psyching himself up for a fight. Are you okay? I ask, preemptively guarding myself with my clipboard. Tears brim his eyes and the strength falls from his shoulders. He mutters out, "All I wanted was to be their sword and shield, their angel of light, and they left me out of my mind. Hahaha... Wanna know the biggest joke of all? I'd let them drive me crazy all over again."

🦎 Luchino's mouth stretches into a lazy grin. "That one's a cutie, eh? Had the pleasure of meeting them yet?" I shake my head, reminding him that (Y/N) is the focus of my current investigation. I guess his laidback attitude fooled me into saying too much. He promptly straightens his back, the smile fading. "Yeah... Yeah, from one researcher to another, I get the intrigue," he says. "But I can't say I fancy another guy using my love as a test subject."

🪞 Mary - "Do you take pleasure in nosing around a lady's private affairs? I'd expect more tact, even for an interviewer." The chill in her tone startles me. I sputter out something in my defense, but Mary huffs and waves me into silence. "(Y/N) is enjoying the privilege of being my right-hand. They're my favorite one so far, too. I dismissed the others without a second thought."

🤕 Naib - "On good terms." Wringing out any insightful answers from this man is tougher than I thought. In hopes of inspiring more of a reaction, I tell a small lie: When I interviewed (Y/N), they described a rather colorful affection for you... Almost immediately, Naib breaks eye contact and crosses his arms. But I still only get a guttural "Hm." in response. Can you confirm if this is true? I press. His answer is, once again, a curt "Hm." (Slightly more affirmative, I would say).

🕯️ Philippe - "My work has always stood as a testament to my love," he caresses the wax figure grafted onto his shoulder, "but shielding someone in life is a far greater challenge than honoring my losses. My worries are endless." Suddenly reminded of his sister's tragedy, I offer a sympathetic smile. Do you believe (Y/N) is in danger? Philippe returns my smile, though I can't make out the intent. "Of course. Evil lurks around every corner. At the very least, it won't reach them while I'm around."

🎭 Sangria - A fond smile graces her face as she recounts her memory. "It was clear to me after some time that I had disastrously entranced them." Then she adds, lightly, "I hadn't meant to, of course. At the time, I thought, I'm not looking for love—no, I'd had enough of it all—but soon, their smile would appear in my mind every time I sang. When someone gives you that much inspiration? You'd be a fool to let them go." She has a playful tone of voice, but I can tell (Y/N) means a great deal to her.

[rebeccathenaturalist]

Unsurprisingly, a lot of the commentary I'm seeing about this has been of the "But--but--I would do the same thing because I don't want anything bad to happen to the deer!"

Look. I love wildlife, and I love getting to see deer, coyotes, and even the occasional black bear in my neighborhood. But they are here because there is good habitat nearby with lots of natural food sources, not because I deliberately put out food for them to eat. I respect them as wild animals with whom my relationship is very different compared to the domesticated animals I take care of every day. A deer is not a sheep or a horse; a coyote is not a dog.

People who do things like try to tame deer or, worse yet, try to raise a fawn or other young wildlife like pets are robbing those wild animals of their natural existences. We've already wrought our own preferences on the landscape to a severe degree, tearing the wildness out of it to create lawns and farms and subdivisions and strip malls. When we then dismiss the wildness of these animals and impress our own desire for connection on our terms on them, we are harming them.

I've already written elsewhere about the difference between "tame" and "domesticated". No matter how docile that deer seems, it is never going to be as (relatively) safe and tractable as a domesticated sheep or goat. It will always be more unpredictable, and more likely to lash out suddenly at a person due to fear, or hormones, or protection of young.

These animals need their wild instincts to be intact if they are going to survive without being dependent on us. They need those instincts in order to find mates and keep the gene pool stirred up. Their instincts keep them safe from danger, including humans. And their instincts never totally go away, no matter how much we may try to tame them otherwise.

This is why a good wildlife rehab is going to minimize handling of the wild animals they care for, especially those that are going to be able to be released back into the wild. The less comfortable these animals are with humans, the better their chances of surviving in the wild and having fulfilling, natural lives. Wildlife that retain their wariness of humans are less likely to end up falling prey to hunting, or being killed as nuisance animals when they get too aggressive in seeking food or otherwise coming into conflict with people.

The person who painted "pet" on a fully grown white-tailed buck and put a collar around his neck may have felt like they were doing that deer a kindness, but they have likely robbed him of the chance to just live a natural life as his own, independent being out in the woods and fields. He might be out there, sure, but perhaps he won't mate because he imprinted on humans. Or maybe he will end up shot by a hunter in spite of the precautions because he's just too friendly and those antlers are worth taking the shot.

There will always be something missing from this deer's life because of the arrogance of someone who thought they could own and keep and control a wild-born animal for their own enjoyment, instead of allowing him to come and go as he pleased. Honestly, it reminds me of King Haggard from Peter S. Beagle's The Last Unicorn, whose response to seeing something beautiful was to capture it and keep it rather than simply enjoying and remembering that magical moment:

"I like to watch them. They fill me with joy. The first I felt it I thought I was going to die. I said to the Red Bull I must have them, all of them, all there are. For nothing makes me happy but their shining and their grace. So the Red Bull caught them. Each time I see the unicorns, my unicorns, it is like that morning in the woods and I am truly young, in spite of myself."

That's how I feel about people who are willing to drastically alter a wild animal's behavior for their own selfish benefit, even if they think they're being kind. I know I'm fighting a bit of an uphill battle in this, but I'm rather stubborn that way.

[boldlygoingtohell]

In a weird way, as a Jew, I can kinda take Normal Antisemitism™️.

I mean, I understand where right-wing racists are coming from when it comes to their antisemitism. At the end of the day, theirs just comes from fear, replacement theory, etc… It’s easily identifiable. 2+2=4. Yea its shitty, but I see how they got from A to B and it’s a straight line.

But left-wing antisemitism?? Like, how does that happen? I thought the left was about supporting minority groups, encouraging them to speak and be heard. But all I’m seeing from leftists these days (I myself being super fucking liberal, left, etc…) is just waves and waves of antisemitism. And yes it has to do with Israel, but these people are incapable of criticizing the Israeli government without going “all Jews are responsible!” in the process. It's infuriating.

Are all the the world’s Jews, millions of which live OUTSIDE of Israel, now responsible for Israel’s actions? I'M a stupid American! I’ve never even BEEN to Israel, much less know the intricate details of a geo-political conflict whose complexities go willfully unlearned by armchair activists in favor of yelling in all caps for 140 characters.

But what really gets me, and I mean REALLY get me about the whole situation, is the hypocrisy.

Remember how awful it was when we saw waves of Islamophobic hate crimes after 9/11, American Muslims with no ties to al-Qaeda being targeted for the faith those terrorists claimed to represent?

Or do you remember standing against the wave of anti-Asian hate crimes that was spurned on by COVID falsehoods? The “China virus” as Trump so eloquently put it? You remember being pissed about that, not blaming Asian Americans but standing with them against hate?

And hell, I’ve heard there has been a rash of Islamophobic attacks again because of the Israeli-Gaza conflict. That’s fucking awful, and I will stand against that bull shit because it does not belong here, end of story.

But now there are also antisemitic attacks, hate crimes, being perpetrated around the world. And who are the perpetrators now? The left that stood against everything else. There's no widespread ally-ship for Jews like me. There's no sweeping social media campaign, no catchy hashtag, no ice bucket challenge.

Why am I allowed to be condemned for what a country on the other side of the world is doing, when I have nothing to do with it? Why can I have the finger pointed at me when I don’t want the fighting in the first place? Why must Jews be allowed to be the target of this ire when it's already been decided that other ethnicities/religions don't deserve it either?

Now, I am PROUD to be Jewish; it is my culture, in my heritage, in my literal blood. It is in my genetics, my bones, my spoken language, it is in the holidays I celebrate, the philosophies I live by.

But it is also in the generational trauma of my mother insisting I have a passport as a young child, not because we were traveling, but in case we had to flee. It is in her inherent distrust of the government; a card-carrying Democrat all her life, she would always remind me, "if you don't think the government can't turn on you, you're kidding yourself." It is her constant reminders that as a Jew, our assimilation is conditional, our acceptance is political. I felt these, but never as strongly as she did. Not until now.

I am third generation American, and yet I feel like an outsider in the only country I have ever known. People who I thought understood, who were my friends, who marched with me against the injustices of the world, are now calling after Jews to answer for Israel's actions.

I say I don't want the violence to persist and I'm told that I'm, "one of the good ones". I'm told hurt Israelis don't deserve sympathy because, "all Jews are rich anyway, right? Who cares." I tell them my fears about the rising antisemitism and wearing my star of david necklace out. I'm told, "it doesn't matter, you're white anyway."

For the first time in my life, the racists aren't just some crazy KKK members. They're not just Nazis marching around with beer bellies and ill fitting helmets. It's not just some screeching street preacher who claims I'm going to hell after he caught the glint off my star of david necklace. If needs be, I can kick and punch my way out of those. They're just idiots. Isolated, concentrated incidents. It'd be a good story to tell at a bar the next day though a gap-toothed smile and a sling on my shoulder.

But now, both sides are coming after me and my people. Now, it's not just idiots who have all of their views backwards; it's people I thought I could trust to have my back, to go down swinging with me against those Nazis. Right. Left. It's everywhere. There's no escape.

It's coming from all sides. It's coming from social media platforms, from dinners with friends, from posters on street lamps.

I live in one of the safest, most Jewish neighborhoods in America, and for the first time in my life I am truly scared.

[soaps-mohawk]

Important Things For This Blog

I wanted to make a post with some rules/important things to know for this blog. It will be linked in my pinned navigation post. I know some of you have been asking for this and I apologize for it taking this long to do this.

Probably the most important thing (which is sad that this is something I have to say) but

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DO YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO USE MY FICS FOR AI

If you see someone using my fics or claiming to have my permission please report them because I will NEVER give permission for my fics to be used for AI

Okay, now that that's out of the way, I wanted to put down some reminders/rules (not that I've had many issues to date) but just in case:

This is an 18+ blog with explicit content. I am trusting a lot of you to be honest and stay away if you are not 18. This is not a minor friendly space.

I am one person running this blog. It's just me, a real person behind all of this.

I am in Pacific Standard Time (PST)/Pacific Daylight Time (PDT) depending on the time of year, so any time I talk about days, I'm meaning that day for me if I forget to add the timezone.

I take a break from this blog on Thursdays (PST), though that can sometimes start as early as Wednesday afternoons and can extend into Friday mornings.

Again, I am a human being with my own struggles and some days are not good days. I try to avoid interacting too much those days, but sometimes I'm not smart enough to do that. So if I seem off or rude or snappy, I do apologize. I always feel guilty after I get back into my normal head space.

I invoke the right to delete any ask that I do not want to answer, or that makes me uncomfortable.

As point number 2 states, I am just one person, and I get a lot of asks some days, so if your ask/comment/reblog etc isn't responded to right away, it's either because I didn't get it/didn't see it, or because I have 30 others in my inbox that I haven't answered yet too.

I try and avoid posting asks/reblogs with spoilers right away for those that don't/can't read the chapter right away. I tend to hold off for a couple days so if I haven't responded to you, that's also probably why.

Responses that have spoilers and are posted the days I post spoilers are tagged with "crcb spoilers" so block that tag if you don't want to see them or have anything spoiled, though after those days I stop tagging things with that tag.

I use my queue a lot, especially on days where I don't plan to be on Tumblr much, or days I post spoilers. I try to remember to use the tag "queue 06" when I'm using the queue.

Regarding CRCB exclusively, I have taken a lot of time to make and organize several lore/FAQ masterlists. If you ask a question that has already been answered there (which to be fair I do miss adding some sometimes) I will direct you there to avoid repeating myself.

The navigation post pinned on my page is there for a reason. Please utilize it.

If you would like to be on my taglist, please follow soaps-mohawk-taglist and turn notifications on as I will post there every time I post a new chapter/fic

I do not tolerate any hate or disrespect on this blog, towards me or others. You will be blocked, anon or not.

Please be respectful of me, my rules, my boundaries, and the reminders above, and most importantly, remember there is just one living, breathing human being behind this blog.

Now for the part most of you have been asking for, the things that I'm not comfortable writing. If it's not on this list, or if you are unsure, please ask if it's something I'm comfortable writing. I won't get upset if you ask for clarification.

Pedophilia (including lolicon & shotacon)

Age Play

Beastiality

Detailed Domestic Abuse

Detailed Child Abuse

Emetophilia

Olfactophilia

Scat

Cheating

Rape*

Child Death

Hurt/No Comfort

Pregnancy (Anything in the realm of pregnancy)**

RacePlay

Formicophilia

Pecattiphilia

Some specific violent situations (including ones with kids)

Embarrassment

*It depends on the scenario/my own state of mind at the time. It's not a hard no, but it really just depends.

**I know I've answered some pregnancy (and child death) things in the past but it's just not something I'm comfortable with going forward.

Honestly it's just best to ask if you're unsure, about anything listed above. I'm just asking for everyone to be respectful of me and my rules, as well as everyone else, so we can keep things as they have been.

Have a Gaz just because

[mommyownsmee]

Mommy, I am a very naughty girl. I would like it very much if you fucked me over and over again in front of my husband. Please mommy take me and show that useless cuck how to pleasure a woman. I'll do anything you asked if me mommy, pls I'm rubbing myself raw thinking about it.

You lay on the bed, your body tense with anticipation, wrists bound securely to the headboard with soft, silken ties. The room is dimly lit, a soft glow casting shadows that dance around you. I approach, my footsteps deliberate, each step a reminder of the control I hold over you. I sit beside you, the mattress dipping slightly, my presence both comforting and intimidating.

In the corner of the room on a chair, your husband watches intently, his eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before him. He only is an observer, understanding the dynamic between us and reveling in the power exchange that plays out in front of him.

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" I ask, my voice a silky murmur, seeing the shivers run down your spine. You nod, your heart pounding visibly in your chest, your voice lost in the intensity of the moment. I brush my hand against your cheek, a gentle caress promising both pleasure and discipline.

"Yes, Mommy," you whisper, your voice trembling. The term of endearment and submission sends a thrill through me, and I see your husband's eyes darken with desire at your words.

"Good girl," I murmur, leaning down to kiss your forehead, "That‘s what Mommy wanted to hear." My hand trails lower, fingers tracing patterns on your skin. You gasp as my touch ignites a fire within you. "Such a responsive little thing," I purr, my voice low and commanding. "Tell Mommy what you want, baby."

"Please, Mommy," you moan, "I want to feel your touch. I want you to make me yours."

"That's exactly what you were supposed to say," I reply, my fingers teasingly grazing your inner thighs. I glance over at your husband, whose eyes are glued to the scene. "Look at him," I say, nodding in his direction. "He wishes he could make you feel this way, but he can't, can he?"

"No, Mommy," you agree, a hint of a smile on your lips.

"He's so useless, isn't he?" I continue, my voice dripping with disdain. "Pathetic. Watching from the sidelines because he can't satisfy you like I can."

Your husband shifts uncomfortably, his face flushed with humiliation. "What do you have to say for yourself, worthless?" I snap at him, enjoying the way he squirms under my gaze.

"I'm sorry, Mommy," he mumbles, his eyes downcast. "I know I can't satisfy her like you do."

"That's right," I sneer. "You're nothing but a bystander. You get to watch and learn, but you'll never be able to give her what she needs."

I turn my attention back to you, my hand sliding between your legs. You moan softly as I begin to tease you, my fingers finding all the places that make you tremble. "Tell Mommy how good it feels," I command.

"So good, Mommy," you whimper, your body arching into my touch. "Please, don't stop."

"I won't, baby," I assure you, my fingers quickening their pace. "I'm going to make you feel so good, just like I always do."

I look over at your husband again, his eyes filled with a mixture of desire and despair. "You see how she responds to me?" I taunt him. "This is what real pleasure looks like. Something you'll never be able to give her."

He nods, silent and ashamed, knowing his place in our dynamic. "Keep watching," I order. "Learn what it means to truly satisfy someone."

Your world narrows down to the feeling of my hands on you, the sound of my voice guiding you. You are lost in the moment, consumed by the pleasure I am giving you. As the tension within you builds to a crescendo, I press my lips against your forehead in a tender kiss.

"Come for me, darling," I command, and with those words, you shatter. Waves of pleasure crash over you, your body shaking as you give in to the overwhelming sensation. I hold you through it all, my touch grounding you as you ride out the waves of your climax.

When you finally come down from your high, I am there, wrapping my arms around you in a protective embrace. You feel safe and loved, your body still humming with the afterglow of my attention.

"You did so well, sweetheart," I praise, my voice full of affection. You nuzzle into me, basking in the warmth of my approval.

I glance at your husband, who is watching with a mixture of awe and desire. His eyes are pleading, but I have no sympathy for him. "Look at you," I sneer, my voice dripping with disdain. "So useless. You can't even satisfy your wife the way she needs. That’s why she needs Mommy."

His face flushes with humiliation, but he says nothing, knowing better than to speak without permission. "Do you understand now?" I ask, my tone icy. "Your role is to watch and learn how a real woman takes care of her. You're nothing but a bystander, a reminder of what you can never be."

"Yes," he whispers, his voice barely audible.

I turn my attention back to you, opening the restraints on your wrists and my voice softening as I praise, "You did so well for me today, sweetheart."

[seeingivy]

chat not to get emotional but this blog has literally changed my life

TW: mentions of SA/manipulation so read at your own discretion!!!

so random, but i've been making a lot of emotionally charged posts on the dash lately - about how sad i am and how i'm going through one of the hardest periods of my life as of late. i'm so grateful to all of my sweet moots who have reched out to check up on me, you are the sweetest and give me lots of strength 💌

i've been writing fanfiction for over a year now and it was something that sparked into me around a year ago out of nowhere. i went through periods of reading fanfiction when i was a kid and most notably read aot/jjk fanfiction in 2020 during quarantine. for some spur of a reason, in april of 2023 i decided to make a tumblr account and post the very first taylor as gojo one shot which was speak now! the blog very quickly became such a powerful outlet for me to have a voice, when i had been feeling voiceless for such a long time.

i went from writing silly little stories i could think about from getting so serious and earnest with feelings and lessons that i've learned in this little life of mine -- with method acting and bsfs older brother sukuna taking the crown of me putting every hurt part of myself out there for people to read and relate to. the feedback and responses that i received on those fics were so validating and healing for me to read, from having experienced those things myself to knowing that what i made out of that was not only worthwhile for me, but for someone else.

long story short, i've had a few things happen in the course of the past month that reminded me of the guy who sexually assaulted me when I was eighteen. I was dating him at the time and he took advantage of many things, most of the "the lore" chapter of bsfs older brother sukuna just being full truth and zero fiction. as insane as writing it all out there was -- quite literally writing myself my own comfort -- it empowered me to do what i haven't been able to do in three years. today i finally took that step and was brave enough to call him and tell him what exactly he was that it did to me.

and it was so liberating. i've held onto this pain for three years, let it become such a deep part of me, while deep down knowing that my life wasn't meant to be a punishment like eren said in method acting and that at the end of the day, it was just cruel. plain and simple. like sukuna says in bsfs older brother sukuna.

i've been able to let go such a big part of my pain because of this blog,- because people have supported what i write and made me feel brave about embracing what happened to me.

all and all, i'm on the come up. but in the meantime, thank you for everything you've done. this blog and anyone who has read, interacted, or followed will always be so so special to me. <3

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Ruki (on X):

From January to July, so many things have happened.

Amidst the whirlwind of days, I questioned what is right and what is normal? While swaying between emotions and reason, I was constantly making various choices, and desperately running through each day.

In such times, I was supported solely by everyone's concerned voices and the words "I love you."

Thank you always.

And although it's been a while, I wrote on Instagram. I hope this reaches everyone who loves me. ✉️

It's been about two months since my last post.

Seeing the closet still filled with winter clothes, I realized that this year, for me, there was no spring. Time stopped in winter, and then summer came.

I noticed that I had been putting off such a basic thing as living, and I finally did a long-overdue wardrobe change the other day.

Life is built on daily choices, an accumulation of decisions.

Only you can decide if those choices and your life are right or wrong.

The responsibility for your life is yours and yours alone.

I feel that trying to conform to the standards of "normal" for others will only make you feel more miserable when you are going through a tough time.

It's the same for everything; it's okay not to be "normal" as measured by someone else's standards.

No matter the relationship, I believe it's impossible to fully understand all of someone's inner struggles and pain. Fans' pain and our pain, human wounds vary from person to person.

Therefore, the way and speed at which wounds heal also vary for each person. The way you accept things too. It's okay if it's not the same.

Because the heart is a place that cannot be seen from the outside, others can't understand those wounds, and in fact, even we ourselves cannot measure how deep our wounds are.

Everyone, might be forcing a smile on the outside, and when they come home, no one sees the emptiness they are feeling, and they probably don't want to show it to anyone.

The way I've spent my days, I was told, wasn't very human-like, but I think that's okay.

Now, rather than sadness, I feel loneliness.

Because I am human, I know that I will meet them again someday.

So, thinking that way, I am accepting it now.

Although I feel lonely without Koron and Reita, for now, goodbye. This reminded me of when I wrote the lyrics for QUIET.

And when the day comes that we can meet again, I want to live in a way that I'll be told, "You lived a good life."

In reality, there are four of us now, but not as a mere illusion; another face is vividly present in my mind.

So, the feeling of being five members is not a lie. That will surely be forever.

After thinking about it all, I've come to the conclusion that I need to start living each day in a way that will leave a lot of proof that I lived.

I want to create music and things with more love than ever before.

Although my core approach to making music hasn't changed, what I feel I want to draw and leave behind now has changed significantly.

I want to cherish every moment, even the most ordinary ones, like taking pictures of everyday life, going to different places and feeling the scenery, the smells, all the things that I can only feel at that moment.

And if you're feeling overwhelmed right now, I think it’s okay to put everything on hold and take a break without overthinking it. It’s okay to stop pushing yourself for a while.

If I hadn’t taken a step back, I wouldn't have reached this mindset.

Then, bit by bit, listen to music you love, visit places that bring you joy, and heal your heart.

I'm gradually doing that myself too.

I hope everyone can find their own way of healing.

And if this band, the GazettE, can become something that saves or heals even just one person, I will overcome anything.

To me, everyone who waits for us is my reason for living.

The only place where you can let out everything you can't express in daily life, I believe, is at live concerts.

So, I hope we can share that extraordinary space where we can shout and make noise together as much as possible.

I've said it before, but there will be more opportunities to meet from now on. Or rather, I will make them.

I want to increase the time I can enjoy with everyone who loves me, so please wait for it.

Next is Toyosu PIT announcement, so please check it out.

Thank you for reading such a long post. I'll write again

2024.07.18

[sexydreamgirl]

I’m sorry to ask this repetitive question but I am autistic and struggle to understand many basic concepts within the Law of Assumption it's especially harder since most people speak in riddles and I'm not good with those things. I need clarification on a few things; What is imagination and what does it mean to imagine? Must you always be aware of the state that you're entertaining and micromanage your thoughts? How do I ignore the 3D and live in the imagination? Am I supposed to ignore all of my 3D responsibilities and pretend that I'm living my dream life? For example, if I have a test on Thursday and I want to manifest that I don't, should I not study and pretend that I don't have a test? If I remind myself, "Oh, you need to study for your test on Thursday" and I continue to study even though I'm manifesting that I don't have a test, would that be a contradiction and mean that I'm admitting that I don't have my desire? Should I think and act a certain way or continue living my life? There's too much information about what to do and what not to and I'm so confused because I don't understand it and it makes me insane!

Ma vie, it's much simpler than you think it is. Allow me to break it down little by little:

What is imagination and what does it mean to imagine?

Imagination: the faculty or action of forming new ideas, or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses.

To imagine simply means to devise an idea. Ideas owe their origin to imagination. Before it became reality, everything around you was once merely an idea: the internet, social media apps, technology, electronics, the model of your home, cars, freeways, haircut trends, the design of the clothes you are currently wearing, the very idea of even wearing clothes, art as a whole, it doesn't matter what you point at; EVERYTHING was born from imagination.

Must you always be aware of the state that you're entertaining and micromanage your thoughts?

You make acknowledging your state sound like something you have to be constantly monitoring. You don't have to be monitoring anything. As I'm sure you know, you're always in a state because you are always conscious of being something. Regarding micromanaging your thoughts: NO! Your thoughts indicate your state so if you're thinking against your desired state of consciousness then that means you are not conscious of being who you desire to be, and so you change that via I AM and you persist in it.

How do I ignore the 3D and live in the imagination? Am I supposed to ignore all of my 3D responsibilities and pretend that I'm living my dream life?

Ignoring the 3D is not about pretending it isn't there. It is about not letting it have the last word.

Pretend? NO! Pretend implies that it isn't real, when imagination IS REAL. IMAGINATION IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE WORLD AROUND YOU!

"Whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." - Philippians 4:8

When you live in imagination, you contemplate what you would like to experience and then immerse yourself in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. Accept that invisible state (your dream life) as reality. Then go your way knowing the desire is now yours.

If I remind myself, "Oh, you need to study for your test on Thursday" and I continue to study even though I'm manifesting that I don't have a test, would that be a contradiction and mean that I'm admitting that I don't have my desire? Should I think and act a certain way or continue living my life?

Do what you have to do in your day-to-day life, just remember to bring yourself back to that which you desire to be. Walk as though you were and persist in it. As I said, ignoring the 3D is not about pretending it isn't there. Attending it for a moment will not kill your imaginal act. So you take care of what needs to be taken care of and remember to bring yourself back to your idea if you waver. Accept what you want in imagination. Remember that imagination is the cause and the 3D is the effect.

I hope this cleared up your confusion. As always, if you have further questions you're welcome to send them over <3

[parabantlers]

I Don't Want to Be Myself

He should've never taken off the mask.

Not for this.

Not for her.

Her soft, sweet smile and gentle kisses lured him in. Hot meals awaited him after years of basic ration packs. After sleeping on cots and the cold ground, their bed felt incredibly soft, always smelling fresh and warmed by her presence.

Everything was soft and peaceful.

Ever since he took off the mask and said his name was Simon Riley, he hoped she would see that the man before her was a coward, unable to stop the two-year relationship that had spiraled out of his control.

Like a rapid current, he was drawn into the depths of her eyes, tossed and turned against a battering self-hatred.

In the dead of night, his voice barely a rumble, he said, "I'm sorry."

He waited for a response, staring at the ceiling, only blinking slightly as her arms wrapped around him.

"For what?"

Maybe it was the sleepless night, the fact that it was already five in the morning, but he felt too weak to stop when he started to speak.

"Just—I'm worried. Worried that you might feel stuck because I'm just me. That you know everything about me, so you feel confined to stay with me? I don't know. There's only so much self-hatred one can take from another person. So—" His dark eyes locked onto hers. "If you want to leave, it's best you do it now because this is it. This is me."

Her eyes opened, and she kissed the scar on the corner of his lips. "I know what I want, Simon. It's you. It's you and it's Ghost. It's the cold nights when you're not home and when you are. It's the warm hugs you give me. The best kind of hugs, I might add."

She flashed her brilliant white smile, making his heart flutter just barely, like awakening a dying bird. "Sometimes it can be a lot, for sure. But we'll always make it out together. Like we have before, we'll do it again and again. Same as you'll do for me."

Ghost sighed, "I know I say this shit a lot—"

He paused as she kissed him softly, her lips tender and sweet. When she pulled back, she said, "You do. So I'll gladly remind you each and every time. If my future is always telling you I love you, then Simon Riley, I love you."

On his scarred lips, the corners twitched upwards. "I love you too."

"Good. Now, love me properly by wrapping those big arms around me." She snuggled up against him as he chuckled, his arms encircling her.

"Yes ma'am." Even with a soft peck from the dying bird at the back of his mind, she remained nestled firmly in his heart.

(I haven't written anything like this since middle school so hopefully something about this was decent enough. Thank you to however reads this. I am willing to learn and I will understand if this is dog shit. A lot of characters from this franchise are unfathomably hot and my kind of sad so maybe more to come. Hope today is easy for anyone that reads this. Life sucks so all we can do is take it one step at a time. Bye for now!)

[romanreignsbae]

I’ll help you - R.R

Me and my boyfriend Joe of 2 years now have always supported eachother no matter the circumstances. More recently Joe's schedule has been hectic as ever, because football season has started and he has a minor problem consuming him.

Since he came into college on a full ride scholarship for football this doesn't mean grades don't matter. He's an student athlete so his grades are always took into consideration before football.

Me and him have basically have all our classes together. In one class specifically, he's been struggling and is on the verge of failing, if his grade goes any lower, he will be taken off the football team until it goes back up and he can't have that.

We have a test in 2 days that's worth enough to bring his mark back up, so here I am in our dorm room trying to help him study.

I'm explaining the question thoroughly to make sure he understands. "So, Joe do you get it?" I ask him. I get no response so I look up at him seeing he's staring at me in awe. He then keeps eye contact while pushing my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. I blush profusely.

"Your so gorgeous baby, you know that" he talks in low voice while questioning me. But no- I can't fall for this right now.

"No Joe don't try to sweet talk your way outta this, you gotta get your grade up otherwise you won't be able to play" I remind him. He groans loudly before throwing his head back clearly annoyed.

I don't blame him because this is a pretty hard class, even for me. "C'mon Joe-" I get cut off with lips being smashed onto mines.

I try to pull away but he only deepens the kiss. I decide to let him get everything outta him, before I lecture him a little. He pulls away smiling at me with a proud look on his face. He reaches out and runs his finger over my now bruised bottom lip.

"Joe now seriously let's do a few more questions…then we can lay down and take a nap together" I try to compromise.

"Alright fine" he replies. What takes about 30 minutes we get through about 4 questions and I can see Joe's kinda starting to get the hang of it.

"Can we finally lay down?!” he pleads me in a whiny voice.

I nod my head and leads me to our bed. I lay down on my back and he crawls on top of me, laying his head on my chest. I start running my hands through his hair and within a few minutes I hear light snores. Before I know it I feel myself falling into a deep sleep too.

I wake up the next morning and get ready for my first class. I always wake up earlier then Joe because I like a fresh start to my day. I usually wake Joe up around 15 minutes before we leave cause he barely takes any time to get ready.

We get through all our classes and before we know it, it's break. Me and Joe hold hands walking through the courtyard. Usually during break we just sit under a tree and chill. I read occasionally if he wants to throw a football around with his friends. But it's rare cause he claims he would rather spend his time with me.

We place ourselves down under the big tree that gives a shadow to block the sun. I open my book bag and pull out the text books we need for him to study.

"Babyyyy nooo, not during break" he whines. I try not to giggle at his tone.

"Yes Joe, you have a practice that runs late tonight, when you get home your not gonna wanna study and the test is tomorrow, so you need to study" I explain.

He surprisingly complies and nods while he leans his head onto my shoulder.

"Ok so I'm gonna give you a few practice questions, and if you need help wait until the end, I want you to try these yourself at first" I announce.

I grab my notebook and write out a few questions. I hand the book over to him and I see him writing. A few minutes later he hands me back the notebook.

He had a confident look on his face and I hate to burst his bubble but these were all wrong. "Joe sweetie, these are wrong, but you got all the steps right, your just rushing the end" I exclaim.

He's truly so smart he just needs to try harder, and if he did I'm confident he would be doing phenomenal in all his classes.

"I know, I just don't have any motivation for this type stuff" he tells me. He leans forward and tries to give me a kiss. I back away and he groans.

"Y/n baby, please let me kiss you" he begs. A idea then pops into my head.

"Okay Joe, how bout every question you get right, you get a kiss, but… don't rush otherwise you won't get one" I compromise to him.

His eyes light up. He shoots up and sits up straight. "Yeah yeah lets do that, gimme some questions" he says almost excitedly. I laugh at his excitement.

I hand him the notebook and this time he takes about 20 minutes, I calmly read waiting for him.

I look over the answers and squeal. "Yes Joe! These are all right! I'm so proud of you, your gonna do great on the test" I exclaim.

He smiles at me proudly "that's because I have the best tutor" he tells me. He then quickly pulls me by my sweater and smashes his lips onto mine. We share a mini makeout session, until I feel my head throbbing in pain.

I quickly pull away and keep my eyes shut, the pain is so bad. "Hey! What the fuck man! Why the fuck would you do that" I hear Joe yelling.

I open my eyes and see that a football is right beside me. Great. I've had a football thrown at my head.

"Owww" I whine out while trying to contain myself from crying.

Joe collects all my books and puts them into my bag, he then picks me up and I nuzzle my face into his neck, his cologne calming and distracting me from the pain.

When he stops walking I open my eyes to see we are in the nurses office. Joe explains what happend to me to the nurse.

She quickly tests me out. "Ok well, it's not a concussion, but I suggest you rest now, stay home from school tomorrow and go back if you feel right" she tells me.

I thank her and we leave, while we walk to our dorm room, Joe's shit talking the guy who through the football at me, and about how he's gonna beat him up during practice.

When we get back Joe lays me down on our bed and gets a ice pack placing it on my head.

"I'm gonna stay here, instead of go to practice today" he lets me know.

I feel guilt wash over me. "No no, go Joe I'll be alright" I try to convince him. He doesn't budge at all though and pulls me onto his chest.

The rest of the night we spend cuddled up in our bed watching movies and order takeout.

The next morning I wake up before Joe per usual and decided I don't feel good enough to go to school. I wake up Joe and inform him he needs to get ready, but I'll be staying here.

He offers to stay with me, but I protest since he has that test today.

"Your gonna do great baby, just remember take your time and double check your answers." I tell him.

When it's time for him to go he kisses me softly before asking if I need anything before he leaves, which i refuse to.

I spend my day reading a book I've needed to get to, I took the opportunity since I had nothing better to do.

I look at the time and see Joe should be back any minute. While I'm finishing the book I hear the door slam open. I turn to my side to see Joe with a massive smile on his face.

"Baby, baby! Look what I got on the test" he practically yells. He walks over to me and sticks his hand out. I take the paper from him to see '93%' bolded in red in the corner of the page.

"Joe, you did it! I knew you could do it! I'm so proud of you!" I tell him excitedly.

The rest of the night is a calm night, I decide I need some fresh air so I sit on the bleachers reading during Joe's practice. And we spend our night embraced in each other's arms.

[loggiepj]

To Love A Lannister

chapter 3 | chapter 4

You didn't concern yourself with Joffrey's activities anymore and tried to ignore the Lannisters for the remainder of the trip. Even escorting your cousin on his business affairs with Lord Tyrion just to avoid spending time alone inside the Red Keep.

It wasn't because you were avoiding a certain Lannister. Because truly, you were. What Cersei said that night affected you. Oberyn had warned you about it. Yet, you had to touch the knife to know it was sharp.

Some days, Oberyn and Ellaria had to leave you so you had no other choice but to stay. At least, the handmaidens weren't persistent when you convinced them you'd want to eat your meals inside the confines of your own chamber.

And staying inside the Red Keep meant you couldn't avoid meeting Cersei and her family. There were times when you had to spend your time in the gardens just to avoid bumping into Cersei inside. And that would mean another interrogation with the Tyrells, especially the ever nosy Olenna, who somehow kept on bringing up about your father. As if you needed reminding how unknown your line was to other houses.

And then there was Joffrey, the cruel King.

You tried to be patient with him but when you saw him almost helping himself with some lady other than Margaery Tyrell, you had had enough.

"Good day, Your Grace, My Lady," you greeted rather enthusiastically. "What a delightful day it is. I love the fresh air around here."

Joffrey jumped, finally letting go of the girl's arm. "Yes, yes-"

The girl had hair as shiny as copper. You'd be left mesmerized if you weren't bothered by her eyes almost brimming with tears.

"I am keen to see the rest of the Red Keep's garden. My cousin Prince Oberyn said it was a sight to see before leaving for Dorne. Perhaps you could show me around, My Lady, if you permit me."

"What-"

You didn't even wait for Joffrey's response as you pulled the girl from his grasp, looping her arm around yours tightly as you began to walk away from the King.

"Just keep on walking with me," you whispered, squeezing her hand for assurance. Then you pointed to your left, towards the trees you know nothing of. "I'm rather curious how you got yourself in such predicament, My Lady. I'm sure most of those with common sense will avoid the King's presence. Can you point to the other side?"

The girl was confused at first but later on understood as she pointed at the other direction.

"Good," you went on, still clutching her arm. "I don't think I've introduced myself. I'm Y/n Martell. I came here with my cousin Prince Oberyn and his lover Ellaria."

"From Dorne?" she stuttered, her voice still shaky.

You nodded. "Yes, from Dorne. Have you ever been to Dorne, My Lady?"

"No."

You could still feel her trembling as you walked together. When you looked back at the King's direction, Joffrey was already gone.

"You can relax now," you said. "He's gone."

"Won't be for long," she muttered back so silently you almost didn't hear it.

"He's a tough one, the King. Rather a vicious creature-"

The woman quickly shook her head. "No, no, King Joffrey is wonderful. I may have just said something earlier that had upset him."

"You don't have to lie to me," you assured her. "I know what he is. And he's a monster."

The girl stopped and looked at you as if scared you could have your head chopped off from your body, then she finally let go of your arm.

You decided to change the topic as you began walking again.

"Is it, is it wonderful in Dorne?" the girl asked to break the silence. "I heard everyone is free and loved, just like in Highgarden."

"Everyone good lives happily there if that's what you're asking. Of course, there are criminals but we always value principles in life. We don't tolerate arranged marriages even for children who doesn't even know how to walk yet."

You didn't realize the woman already stopped walking.

"I think I want to head back to my chambers now," the girl said.

You smiled. "Of course. May I escort you back, lady?"

"Sansa, Sansa Stark."

"Stark? Of Winterfell?"

She nodded slowly, her eyes staring out unto the ground.

"I'm sorry about what happened to your father." You both went on walking inside the castle.

"Thank you. I'm now married to Tyrion. I know I should start calling myself a Lannister now, though, it sounds so wrong."

"I get what you mean. I don't even know if I'm being a true Martell," you admitted. "You can talk to me, you know. If you need someone to talk to."

She mulled the suggestion over. You added, "I truly admire your brother Robb though."

Sansa's eyes widened, as if the mention of his name could harm the two of you. But eventually, she nodded back. "He's always a virtuous person, like my father."

"He is," you confirmed. "He's not just any arrogant King."

"Please don't tell anyone about our conversation."

"Your secret's safe with me, Lady Sansa," you promised.

When you reached her chambers, Sansa thanked you for saving her earlier.

"I believe your handmaiden should never leave you alone starting now."

"Tyrion disposed of her awhile ago and I believed she has also bedded with him."

You wished to confront Tyrion some time later about what Sansa said.

As for now, you bid goodnight to the girl, kissing the back of her hand before you left.

"Have a good night sleep, My Lady. I'll send someone to guard your door tonight."

When you came down the hall, you didn't notice Cersei making her way up the stairs.

You bowed, avoiding her gaze. "Your Grace."

Cersei stopped as she stood side by side to where you were standing. "Careful now, Y/n. We have different laws about sleeping with someone else's wife here in the Capital as compared to in Dorne."

It took you a moment before the words started to sink in. You finally smiled at her. "I don't know, Your Grace. But your words somehow reek of envy from a mile away."

Cersei laughed. It was the second time you'd heard her genuine laugh. And you'd like to hear it more.

"Are you insinuating I'm jealous?"

The sound of armor clanking made you both turn your heads to the source. Jaime.

"Excuse me, Your Grace, My Lady." Then to Cersei. "Father wants to talk to us. Something urgent."

Then Cersei looked back at you the moment Jaime walked past ahead. "I should be careful now if I were you, Y/n. Being a Martell cannot save you here. You'd be wise to remember that."

So vicious. So cruel.

"I don't think you remember Myrcella is in Dorne, Your Grace."

"What are you suggesting?" she spat, gritting her teeth.

"I'm just simply telling you that I trust we Martells are safe here as much as your daughter is safe in our home."

Then she left after a beat of silence.

"Y/n!"

You looked at Oberyn down the stairs with a worried looking Ellaria.

"What's wrong?"

Oberyn pulled you along the corridor heading towards their chambers. Before closing the door, he surveyed the hallway first to ensure it was empty. He then checked every corner of the room. Ellaria even peered outside the window before closing the curtains as if scared the room was filled with enemies.

"This is making me nervous-" you began.

"Robb Stark is dead," Oberyn interrupted. Robb Stark, the one who proclaimed himself the King in the North to avenge the execution of his father, Ned Stark, was dead. Sansa's brother.

You only fell silent, coldness seeping through your entire body.

"His mother too," he added.

"They were betrayed," Ellaria hissed. "They were murdered, butchered like animals."

"By the Lannisters?" you asked.

"We believe the traitors were rewarded by Lord Tywin himself," Oberyn answered. "But right now, they have the North. Tywin himself confirmed it."

"How did you know all of this?"

"From a spy-"

"You have a spy here in the Capital?"

"You need not worry where I found out. You need to be cautious. Your life could be in danger, Y/n."

You chuckled nervously. "Danger how?"

"But of course, we are all in danger," Ellaria suggested. "The Lannisters could betray us while we're in their land-"

"Are you warning me because of my obsession with the Queen?"

Oberyn sighed. "Especially that. The Lannisters are not known to be forgiving. They're even still after this Targaryen girl in Meereen that has now three dragons and the unsullied."

You smiled in awe before Oberyn sent you a glare. "But that's great news, right? She has the unsullied as an army-"

"They're still planning to kill the girl. Without her, no one could order the unsullied. No one could order the dragons to attack. The people in Dorne have more trust in the Targaryens rather than in Lannisters. If she will manage to cross to Westeros, we have no choice but to support the one true heir. The true heir."

"But Meereen's too far. Why are you telling me this now?"

Oberyn looked over at Ellaria, hesitant, before shaking his head, forcing a smile. "Nothing. I just know that head of yours might bring us more trouble while we're here."

But you weren't convinced that was all of it.

[etheries1015]

Malleus X reader- when you wish upon a star

Malleus looked down at you with kind eyes as he held out his wishing star, you taking a hesitant glance at the fae.

"Are you sure you want to give it to me? I don't particularly have a wish in mind," you shrugged. Malleus urged it into your hands before stating;

"Well, grim took yours and crowley did not allow you to have a second one, correct? I have no need for such a silly tradition. If I would like something, I can simply ask for it," Malleus said with endearment hinting in his voice. You sighed before finally agreeing, taking in a deep breath before closing your eyes and making your wish.

"I wish...that the people from my world can forget me." Malleus started at this, eyes widening in shock, while you stared blankly down into your hands only to see that the star had not glown to your wish. Chuckling in disappointment you handed the rock back to Malleus, who stared at you in bewilderment.

"It won't come true, anyways," you sighed, "Like Idia said, it reacts to body heat and traces of magic. And I'm...completely magicless. What a sick reminder, I can't even make a wish," you let out a shaky laugh with a melancholic look glinting in your eyes.

"Why do you wish to be forgotten, child of man?" Malleus finally inquired, "I'm sure anyone you knew from where you hail wouldn't want to forget you, surely." You couldn't meet his gaze, instead you placed your hands in your pockets before kicking a rock on the ground down the steps of ramshackle.

" It doesn't look like I will be able to go back anytime soon. It would be much less painful for them if they forgot me, If they havent already. I...am easily forgetable. Always have been, always will be..." You shook your head as another sigh escaped your trembling lips. "Sorry... I didnt mean to sully the mood-" you were interrupted by strong arms pulling you into an embrace. Malleus was hugging you tightly, using one hand to hold your head and the other to carefully hold the star.

"I wish..." He whispered after a moment of silence and hesitation, "I wish that I will never, ever forget you. I wish for all of your woes to resolve, and I wish that you will find a way home. I wish you can smile happily in your future, and I wish you can see just how important you are."

The star began to glow brightly, more brilliant than any of the other stars that had shined during the entire starsend event. You froze in place in the warmth of his arms, it didnt occur to you that tears bad begun to stream down your face. You held onto Malleus tightly, the fae stroking your hair comfortingly.

"I could never forget someone as kind as yourself, (y/n)," he said, "even when you inevitably find a way back home, I will forever remember you as the human who treated a fae such as myself as if I were just another student. You are far more important than you may realize, and I'm sure everyone that you left behind eagerly await your return." You couldn't bring yourself to find a response, you only shook your head and cried even harder.

He really knew how to make you feel special, even when it seems as if you can easily disappear into the shadows without anyone giving a second thought. Malleus Draconia....you too, shall not forget him.

~~

It was probably a bad idea for him to make so many wishes though. And with his immense amount of magical prowess, your intimate moment was quickly interrupted by the star shattering. Oops!

~~ end

A/n- I was thinking about a scenario about maybe Yuu using their wish for Malleus, wishing he would live a life that wasn't lonely or something like that. However...I felt like it would be a...cooler twist if we had insecure and lonely Yuu instead.

This was also thrown together on a whim. Not my best works but feel free to check out my master list for more content.

[chin-chilla-7]

Feast on this Fantasy

Wow hi guys long time no post. But I'm back because I wrote a little fic for myself and wanted to share it! This isn't from any of the fandoms I have listed on this blog since I only just recently got into it: so hello Twilight fandom, I am down bad for Daddy Carlisle so much so that I have written a fic for it. I hope you enjoy!

Title: Feast on this Fantasy Word Count: 3.1k Summary: The reader started their period the day of a date you had planned with Carlisle. You call to reschedule, only for this sweet man to offer to come over anyway to comfort you. Though, things get heated when you reveal to him a fantasy you've had on your mind. Warnings: Period Sex, Being Eaten out on your Period, Reader's Gender Neutral, Carlisle loses a little bit of control.

~~~

Your morning could have gone better. You woke up to your underwear stained with red, your period coming sooner than you anticipated. At least it explained your mood the past few days, but that didn’t make your morning bearable. You had to pause while washing the dishes, doubling over to breathe through the cramps that rippled through your uterus. “Just breathe…” you reminded yourself, gripping onto the sink a little too tightly as you waited for the cramps to pass.

As you stood in the kitchen, you considered rescheduling the date you had planned for the night. Having started your period through the night, you were sure you’d be bleeding through a tampon every couple hours with how heavy your flow is the first day. You straightened up, letting out a sigh. The cramps were enough to not want to go out, it was another thing that your partner was a vampire. ‘Vegan’ or not, he always seemed to notice when it was that time of the month for you, without you having to say anything.

You managed to finish the dishes, letting them dry in the rack. With that chore done, you grabbed your phone, dialing the number and  holding it to your ear. The phone rang twice before the other side picked up.

“Good morning, my dear.”

His voice was enough to bring a smile to your face. “Morning, Carlisle,” you answered, leaning against the kitchen counter. “Did you- is your morning going well?”

“Better now that I get to hear your voice.”

That earned a small laugh from you. If it weren’t for how icky you felt, you probably would’ve been a little more enthusiastic with your response. Carlisle seemed to notice.

“Is everything all right, darling?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah- Well, I’m fine. I just started my period, is all, so I feel… bleaugh, y’know.” It was difficult to express exactly how you were feeling, so the noise would have to suffice. “It’s why I called. I don’t- Well, I want to go on our date tonight. But the thought of going out like this is… not tonight. Another night?”

“Absolutely. I understand, my love. It’s important to get good rest during this time of the month,” Carlisle answered, ever the doctor. “If you’d like, I can still come over. Make you feel a little less… ‘bleaugh’?”

Hearing Carlisle echo the noise you expressed caused you to let out a more earnest laugh. “Yeah, yeah. I think I’d like that.”

“Wonderful. I’ll be over the time we originally decided, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, love.”

“Of course, my dear. Is there anything else you needed?”

You took a moment to consider. “No, I don’t think so. That was all.”

“All right, then. I’ll see you tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too. See you.”

Once you hung up the phone, you felt your body relax. Carlisle had this way of calming you down, even just over the phone. And while you weren’t going on a date anymore, he was still coming over to see you tonight. The thought brought a smile to your face.

Though, you still had the rest of the day ahead of you before your partner would be here for the night. Not wanting to do much, you opted to take a shower, hoping you could wash some of the  icky off. The heat from the water certainly helped soothe your cramps, and your soap helped focus your senses on something sweeter.

You felt a little better as you stepped out of the shower, taking the opportunity to brush your teeth. You also grabbed the motrin from your medicine cabinet. “Nearly empty…” you said to yourself as you took the painkiller. You’d have to get more soon. But for now, this would tide you over.

Most of the day you spent laying or sitting: doctor’s orders, you told yourself. Rest was important, especially on the first day of your period. You had put on some comfortable clothing: sweatpants and a sweater. Not exactly datewear, but you weren’t going on a date tonight anymore. And you were sure Carlisle wouldn’t mind.

You had stopped paying attention to the time, drifting in and out of sleep. It wasn’t until the knock at your  door did you find yourself awake once again. You looked over to the clock, a smile spreading on your face: he was a little early, of course.

You made your way to the front entrance, opening the door to see your handsome vampire partner on the other side. You smiled at him before noticing the bag he held in his hand. “Oh, you didn’t…” you started, a fondness still in your gaze despite the slight protest you expressed.

Carlisle simply smiled, stepping his way inside. “Of course I did,” he said, pressing a kiss to your temple. Usually he would continue his way inside but this time he stopped beside you, taking a deep breath as if he were breathing you in. His eyes roamed over your features, an intensity in his gaze. It only lasted for a moment before he turned his head away, making his way to the living room. “What partner would I be to not care for my love when they’re feeling icky?”

You stood at the front door for a moment, processing his behaviour. The way he looked at you had you flushing. Though, you moved on for the moment, making your way to him to see exactly what he had brought you.

You stood beside Carlisle, and you noted the way he kept his gaze down on the bag. He was fishing through it, taking out some of the items.

“I got you chocolate,” he said, setting the couple bars on the coffee table. Then his hand was back in the bag, this time taking out a bottle of pills. “Oh, and I remember last month you were running low on motrin so I picked you up another bottle.”

“Oh what-” you said in surprise, sitting down on the couch and grabbing the motrin from his hand. “This is so sweet, what the fuck.”

Your surprise caused Carlisle to smile, finally glancing your way again. “Anything to help relieve your discomfort.” He reached into the bag again. “I also picked up some tampons - I don’t know how many you have left, but I figured it doesn’t hurt to have extra. And I brought your heating pad since you left it at my house last time. I know how much you like the warmth.”

Before he could grab the pad out of the bag, you reached over to grab his wrist. “Thank you,” you started, tugging him to the couch. “But what I think I want most is to cuddle with my partner.”

Carlisle naturally moved upon your request, a smile on his features. “Of course, the perfect medicine,” he said gently, sitting beside you on the couch. You scooted closer, throwing your legs over his lap and wrapping your arms around his torso so you could  nuzzle into him. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “You comfortable?” he asked and you simply nodded in response, allowing your head to tuck just under his.

While this was a common position the two of you found yourself in when cuddling, you couldn’t help but notice a slight tension in the way Carlisle sat. His grip on you was a little more rigid than usual, and he seemed reluctant to rest his head on yours as he usually did. You lifted your head to look at the other. “Are you comfortable?” you asked back. Carlisle feigned a look of confusion.

“Of course I am. Why do you ask?”

“Well, you just seem tense, is all. Was today a particularly rough day at the clinic?”

There was such a softness in Carlisle’s gaze at your question. He brought his free hand up to brush your hair out of your face and cup your cheek. “No darling, my day was fine,” he said, though it seemed there was more he wanted to say. It took him a moment to find the words. “You’re just… it’s your first day, so your smell is more… potent than I’m used to. That’s all.”

Your head tilted slightly at his answer. It explained his reaction at the door. You managed a small chuckle, a playful glint in your eye. “Oh, so your urges are getting to you,” you teased.

Your words seemed to put Carlisle at ease as he let out a chuckle of his own. “No, they’re not ‘getting to me’,” he answered, shifting in his place, “You simply smell nice. Ah, I mean, I’m not bothered by it.”

“Depends your definition of bothered.”

Carlisle held your gaze for a moment after your comment. His eyes seemed to have darkened at your implication, and yet he simply looked away and let out a small huff in disbelief. “You’re quite the minx, you know.”

A proud grin grew on your features. You took Carlisle by the chin to turn him back to face you. “You love it, though,” you hummed, leaning forward to take him into a sensual kiss. He sighed into it, his hand grabbing onto your hip as he pushed for more. But you pulled away, the grin still playing on your lips.

A slight disgruntled noise escaped past Carlisle’s lips. “Is this your plan for the night? To tease me?”

You breathed out a quick laugh. “No,” you answered simply, looking over Carlisle’s face. You brought a hand up to trace along his jaw. “We don’t have to stop at teasing.”

There was something in Carlisle’s gaze for a moment: a wanting, a needing. He looked to you expectantly, waiting for you to elaborate. The hungry look in his eye stirred some heat between your legs. His eyes glanced down, almost like he noticed: maybe he did. You found yourself pulled to continue your thought.

“I’ve thought about… it’s been a fantasy of mine to… for you to eat me out while I’m on my period…”

There was part of you nervous to admit that, unsure of  how the other would respond. And, at the moment, he simply stared at you. His jaw tense and his face unreadable. You were quick to clarify. “But I know you don’t really consume blood or anything so I don’t expect it if that’s not something you-”

You weren’t able to finish because Carlisle cut you off with a kiss. This one was hungrier than the previous, and you let out a surprised whimper in response. As Carlisle kissed you, he carefully maneuvered the two of your bodies so that you were laying back on the couch. Only then did he pull away.

“Being between your legs has been the only thing on my mind since I walked through your door today. I…” he paused, pulling away slightly in reaction to his own words. You reached a hand up to cup his face. He pressed his face against your touch.

“Then let me put your mind at ease,” you assured, giving him a nod.

Carlisle let out the air in his chest, leaning back down to take you in another kiss. This one only lasted a short moment as he moved to kiss along your neck. Your sweater provided little access to your skin, but that was no problem for Carlisle: he simply moved lower quickly.

Usually, your partner took his time in giving all parts of your body attention, but you felt that he was a little excited for this. That was okay: you were excited, too.

Even with his excitement, Carlisle was still careful in removing your pants and underwear. You noticed a slight twitch in his hand now that your legs were bare: the smell even more ‘potent’, as he would say.

Before doing anything more, he looked around, reaching over to grab a few tissues from the box on your coffee table. With the tissues in hand, he then went ahead and pulled your tampon out. You squirmed in anticipation, red flushing your face. Carlisle wrapped the tampon in the tissues and placed it on the table, not wanting to take the time to properly throw it out yet: that could wait for after.

After placing the tampon down, Carlisle noticed a few stains of red on his fingers. His eyes focused on the stain, bringing his fingers up to his nose. He took in a deep breath, eyes shutting closed for a moment as he breathed out a moan. “Fuck…” he murmured under his breath.

Suddenly he was grabbing your legs and spreading them open, moving back on the couch so he  could lean down. Usually he’d say something, talk you through it, praise you. Anything. But right now it seemed his focus was purely on tasting you. You felt his tongue press against your hole, causing you to shudder from the suddenness. “Oh-” you cried out, reaching down to thread your  hand through his hair.

Carlisle, meanwhile, let out a guttural moan quickly after dipping his tongue into you. He gripped onto your legs, keeping them open as he tongue fucked you. The noises he made were messy as he feasted on your blood. You could hear him groan despite your own moans. He usually wasn’t so vocal, but this seemed to be a fantasy you both had had on your minds.

Your grip on Carlisle’s hair did little to deter him. If anything, it encouraged him further. You cried out, legs naturally wanting to close, to wrap your legs around his head, but his strength kept you from being able to do nothing but take what he was giving. Your back arched off the couch as you felt yourself quickly approaching your orgasm. “Oh fuck, Carlisle- Car- Ohhh,” you moaned, bringing an arm up to cover your eyes as you felt your body crash with waves of pleasure. You could feel the way Carlisle used his tongue to work you through your orgasm, but despite your finishing, it seemed your partner was far from done.

You felt Carlisle continue, his tongue pushing in as far as it would allow, greedily eating anything and everything he could. Your body squirmed from the constant sensation, uncovering your eyes to look down at him. He met your gaze, staring up at you intently. You could feel your face heat up at the sight, and you let out a whimper.

“Carlisle, wait, I-”

You weren’t able to finish your sentence when Carlisle cut you off with a deep growl. You hadn’t heard anything like that from him before, but it made your hips twitch against his mouth. Carlisle broke your gaze as he refocused his efforts on eating you out, so all you could do was let your head fall back against the couch and squirm. Whimpers and whines escaped you as you tried to move your hips away from the onslaught of pleasure. Of course, with Carlisle, there was no getting away easy with his strength.

You already felt a second orgasm boiling in your core. You grew short of breath, reaching down to find purchase on what you could. While one hand remained in Carlisle’s hair, he took your other hand in his own. You squeezed his hand, crying out in broken sentences to try to express just how good you felt and just how close you were. It seemed Carlisle got the message  as he doubled his efforts. It was all you needed. You screamed out, back arching off the couch once again as the orgasm ripped through you. “Carlisle!” you called for him, and it seemed that now he had gotten his fill as he sat up, pulling away from you.

You stared up at your partner, taking in the way he looked with blood - your blood - stained around his mouth. It wasn’t something he seemed to notice right away as he crawled over you, leaning down for a kiss. You could taste yourself, but that didn’t bother you. You moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck to hold him.

When he  pulled away, Carlisle finally realized the state of his face by the way your lips were now covered in blood. He reached hand  up to touch around his mouth, seeing how there was blood. He looked between his fingers and you, suddenly realizing just how he was acting. He looked to  you, nearly embarrassed.

“I may have lost myself for a moment. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

It was your turn to cut him off with a kiss. You pulled him down, kissing him sweetly. When you pulled away, there was a smile on your face.

“Don’t be sorry. That was hot,” you said, and that pulled a small laugh out of your vampire  boyfriend.

“Oh, okay, good. I, uh… well, let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, sitting up straight.

“And let’s get you cleaned up, too, yeah? Unless you want to go home looking like that,” you teased, slowly sitting up yourself. Carlisle stopped you, though, grabbing a new tampon from the pack he had brought you. He took a moment to insert it: an intimate gesture.

“Yes, yes. I’ll clean, too. I can only imagine the reaction if I were to come home like this,” Carlisle agreed, shaking his head at the thought. 

“I bet Jasper would love it.”

Carlisle simply shot you a look in response.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” you continued, now sitting up on the couch. You weren’t able to stand up yourself because Carlisle picked you up to carry you bridal style. You hummed happily at that, nuzzling up against him as he made his way to the bathroom. “There anything I can do for you?” you then asked, only for Carlisle to shake his head.

“No, my dear. I can assure you, you have left me absolutely satisfied.”

The way he phrased it made you giggle softly. “Maybe that’s something we should do more often?” you posed, and you could feel his hand twitch against you. He gazed down at you and you could see him swallow. When he answered, he spoke just above a whisper, as if almost afraid to admit just how much he liked it:

“Perhaps we should.”

You smiled, snuggling up against his chest, not caring too much for the mess at the moment: it would be cleaned up soon. “Perfect.”

While your morning could have gone better, it seemed your evening was one to remember.

[motheatenscarf]

Amidst all the James Somerton fallout, I think it's important to remember not to moralize whether or not you or others fell for his grift.

Obviously, if you were rallied into being one of his attack dogs on social media when he put some pretty heinous hits out on people, uh. You might have other problems and should probably evaluate how you spend your time online and how you treat other people before you start caring about the rest of the points I'm about to make. Priorities, etc.

But for the rest of us, it's surprisingly easy to miss just how awful a creator can be.

If you only watched his videos that caught your interest, if you don't really follow creators on social media, if you skip livestreams because watching Some Guy talk unfiltered into a bad camera angle with shitty lighting for hours on end sounds like a fucking nightmare to you, you're not really gonna catch most of this shit. At least, you're not gonna catch most of it from any perspective but the one he tries to spin.

This is a reminder to be skeptical and to trust your gut and check sources if something sounds wrong, but also. Uh. That's still the creator's responsibility not to plagiarize and to fact check their work. You're not morally obligated to be as thorough in curating your experience as someone who is making sure they take every ethical precaution before absolutely destroying a "creator's" credibility in a video like H-Bomb's or Todd in the Shadows'. You're literally just some guy. Most people, myself included, watch these videos as background noise while doing at minimum one other task, you're not gonna google every damn thing he says, especially not on media analysis, where the POINT is to have one's own opinion. THEY'RE the ones trying to be "influencers," or, laughably, "creators." The standards are on them.

And for the isms, phobias, and misogyny, well. Frankly, for my own perspective, I gaslight myself all the damn time when I see red flags. Good Allyship™ has been telling me for years to ignore my own discomfort when someone criticizes a privileged group, especially one I'm a part of. I'm a cis asexual white-passing and probably neuroatypical woman, I am constantly trying to be aware of my own relative privilege while simultaneously doubting my own reaction to things. Despite this, I'd still liked to think I'm a skeptical person, but nobody's immune to everything. Everybody has weak spots.

If you got duped or fell for James' scam, that sucks. I feel ya. I fell for it too, I've seen probably 40% of his catalog over the last couple years and really liked what I'd seen. I recommended his channel and videos to people even if I didn't always agree with every point he made, but it felt important to at least consider what to me seemed like a unique perspective that had value or added to a conversation. There are red flags within his content, his analysis, his rate of publishing, his weird diatribes, that in retrospect, really all added up into things I should have known better than to ignore. But, for reasons I'm interrogating and am adding to my list of things to be aware of about myself, I didn't ignore them, and got grifted. I donated to his patreon a few times, probably gave him like $20 grand total over the years, about as much as I've given H Bomb. The important take away here isn't to be ashamed of the fact that you were fooled, it's to remember that you're fallible.

And it's good to recognize that about yourself. Everyone is, and the ones who say they aren't are lying. They're either gonna be the next person to feel really stupid and foolish when they fall for a scam, or are themselves the grifter.

No one is immune.