#i feel like. um. i feel like nuts whenever i remember that.

[dhmis-autism]

ok um.... like we all know stain edwards duck killed the og right..... like we were all paying attention to which of them was standing where before the Four Of Us montage and also noticed that the one who got his head chopped off had maggots already eating him right............. like .......we all caught that right........

[mountttmase]

A Mountain To Climb: The Sequel

Chapter Six

Note - I’m sorry but how are we halfway through already that’s nuts to me. But yes I hope you like this one and feedback would be appreciated 🩷

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 6.4k

Warnings - series will contain fluff, smut and angst

Masterlist

The good thing about Mason having a game on a Sunday meant he you were free to see each other on Friday nights. You took it in turns whenever they popped up and this time he was at yours, currently in a food coma on your sofa as you took the plate of leftover cookies back into the kitchen so you could box them up.

‘I know you like them Mase, but it’s probably not a good idea for you to eat so many before a game in a few days’ you scolded, sitting down next to him and tucking yourself into his side before gently rubbing his tummy as he shut his eyes.

‘I know, it’s like an addiction. I might have to go see someone about it’ he mumbled sleepily, seeming too full to put any effort in to talking above a whisper before he peered down at you and pressing a gentle kiss on the tip of your nose. ‘Feels nice though, thank you’ he smiled, referring to the way you were stroking over his tummy lightly to help ease some of his discomfort.

‘I’ll just have to ration you in the future’ you teased and he tickled your side in protest causing you to squirm lightly in his hold.

‘So listen I need to talk to you about something’ he told you, sitting up slightly and in the past you’d panic at his serious tone but you were curious about what he was about to ask you.

‘Go for it’ you smiled and he gave you a little laugh before continuing.

‘You remember when I told you I went on loan for a year abroad?’

‘Yeah, Vitesse was it?’

‘That’s it’ he smiled, his heart warming at the fact you remembered even though you didn’t talk about it that much. ‘Well, they’re making a little documentary about me and my time there and they’ve asked if I could go over there for some filming. I was hoping you would come with me?’

‘Wow Mase, that’s amazing’ you breathed, suddenly overcome with pride for the boy sitting in front of you. You were proud of him everyday for all that he did and all he’d accomplished but when you were at home with him next to you, and he was just your Mason it was easy to forget all he’d done in his young life and all the people that loved him.

‘Yeah, I can’t believe it but I’m super excited’ he smiled. ‘It’s not for a little while so you’ve got time too book time off of you need to. It’s over a weekend so you’d probably only need the Friday before so we can fly out and we’d come back on the Tuesday after. I’d be filming for most of Saturday and Sunday but I thought we could stay and extra day and do some sightseeing? Like so I can show you round? It’s all paid for and everything like you don’t need to worry about any of that I just want your pretty little butt on the plane next to me’ he winked and even though you were overwhelmed by the thought of it all, something in the back of your head made you wonder what else was going on.

‘What’s the catch?’ You laughed and Mason pulled you in a little closer with a smile.

‘No catch, I just wanna take you somewhere that’s special to me’ he explained and when you raised your eyebrow at him he rolled his eyes with a laugh. ‘Fine. My parents are coming too’ he explained and your eyes went wide.

You hadn’t met any of Masons family yet, but you could tell from a mile off how close they all were and it scared the hell out of you. It wasn’t that you were putting off meeting them on purpose, they sounded like amazing people from everything Mason told you but Mason knew not to push you due to your past however it was getting to the point where you knew it needed to happen.

‘Oh, um…’

‘They’re part of the documentary too, they’re gonna be in a few scenes with me and I just thought it might be a good time? I know you’re nervous but they’re so excited to meet you, they’re constantly asking after you and I thought it would be fun this way. You can meet them they day before we fly and they’ll go home on the Sunday so we get Monday all to ourselves. I know you’re nervous baby but I promise you everything will be fine’

‘I know’ you laughed, nestling you head into his neck as he pulled you even closer. ‘I know it’s time but I’m so so nervous’ you confessed as he stroked your cheek gently. ‘It’s like I don’t have my own family for you to meet and I have no idea what to do or how to feel’ you explained as he looked down at you sympathetically.

‘Well that’s not completely true. I consider you part of my family’ he told you quietly, brushing his fingers through your hair with a soft smile and you felt your eyes sting as your bottom lip wobbled. ‘It’s true, you and me come as a pair. It doesn’t matter that you’ve got no one for me to meet. You’re the most important person to me and I’d do anything to make you happy’

‘Mase’ you breathed, overwhelmed by his sweet words.

‘Also I’ve met Freya, that was daunting enough so I think it’s only fair you meet my parents’

‘True’ you laughed, feeling the tears fall from your eyes that he quickly brushed away before kissing your forehead. ‘Okay, I’ll do it’

‘Thank you baby’ he breathed, caressing your cheek as he smiled down at you lovingly. ‘Honestly I promise you’ve got nothing to worry about and I’ll make it really special for us’

‘Hey Mase. Do they um, do they know? Like about…’

‘I haven’t told them everything, I didn’t want to overstep but they know the basics. I wanted to leave it up to you to decide what you do and don’t tell them. And I said not to bring anything up unless you do first’

‘Thank you’ you breathed, tucking yourself back into him.

‘Think about it this way, you’ve got time to prepare now and then once it’s done you’ve met the two most scary ones and everyone else will be a breeze’ he teased. ‘You’ll be fine baby, they’ll love you’

You hoped they would, the idea that the family of the man you loved didn’t approve of you made your head spin, but after a lot of positive reinforcement from Freya, you pulled yourself together and made sure you were ready for them.

You managed to get a half day on the Thursday before the big trip, getting to Masons house at around 2pm with all your stuff for the weekend and dressed for dinner with his parents that evening. You went with a mid length floaty floral dress, hoping to give off a good impression and make sure you looked good enough to be with Mason. It was nothing like you normally wore but it was still pretty and you hoped Mason would like it too.

Mason wasn’t back from training yet but would be within the hour so you let yourself in with the spare key he’d given you the week before knowing you’d be back earlier than him and you were happy to see the place was spotless.

As not to create any mess, you took your stuff upstairs and did a quick run through of the house, making sure his parents room was perfect and the bathroom was spotless before making your way through to the kitchen but you could hear his car pulling up as you started getting ingredients out of the fridge.

‘Baby, you here?’ He shouted through the house and you rounded the corner to meet him by the front door, his eyes going wide and they raked over your body, but it was the subtle bite of his lip that let you know he liked what he saw. ‘Well, good afternoon to me’

‘Do I look okay?’ You asked, brushing down your dress and he made his way over to you so he could hold you at arms length by your waist, his eyes still eating you up in a way you hadn’t seen him do before. ‘I don’t want to make a bad first impression’

‘First of all, that would never happen. But you look unreal babe. You’re fulfilling all my girl next door fantasies and I’m very close to taking you upstairs and-‘

‘No way’ you laughed pushing him off by his chest and turning to make your way back into the kitchen but he gently grabbed your wrist before you could get too far.

‘Wait, I want my welcome home hug and kiss’ he laughed and you rolled your eyes before wrapping your arms around his waist and placing a soft kiss to his already pouty lips. ‘I love coming home to you’ he whispered, your whole body erupting in goosebumps as he stared down at you with a twinkle in his eye and his hands cupping your bum. ‘I think I could get used to this’

‘Yeah yeah Casanova. Come on we don’t have much time. You go change and I’ll get started on dinner’ you told him, squeezing his sides before shooing him off upstairs. He came down around 10 minutes later and he walked into the kitchen with a loving smile on his face.

‘I’m having the best day. I was on the winning team at training and now there’s a beautiful woman in my kitchen cooking me dinner’

‘Mason I swear to god I will murder you if you don’t stop pissing about’

‘Hey meanie pants, what up’ he laughed, grabbing you by your arms so you’d look at him and you felt the guilt wash over you immediately.

‘Sorry, I’m just stressing, I didn’t mean to be horrible please just ignore me’

‘It’s alright. Just breathe with me’ he told you with a cheeky smile before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath in and a slow breath out. ‘Hey, you’re not doing it with me’ he pouted. ‘If wont work unless you really try’ he laughed so you humoured him, shutting your eyes and taking a deep breath with him and you hated the fact it was working a little bit. ‘There we go. Now what do you want me to do?’

‘Can you reach up and get the pasta for me? And then make sure we’ve got enough ice in the freezer’

‘Yes ma’am’ he winked, kissing your nose before doing everything you asked and then starting to set the table. You were so focused on chopping and stirring that you almost jumped out of your skin when the doorbell went and you felt yourself freeze on the spot. ‘Stay here, I’ll get it’ Mason smiled, kissing your nose again before hurrying off to let his parents in. You could hear their voices getting louder and your anxiety rising along with it but as soon as Masons face came into view you felt your shoulders relax. He smiled at you sweetly, holding his hand out for you to take and you carefully threaded you fingers through his before he pulled you to his side.

‘This is y/n’ he smiled proudly and after a big gulp, you looked over at his parents. They were both smiling widely at you before his mum laughed herself at you with an excited squeal and you couldn’t help but laugh and she pulled you into her.

‘Oh it’s so lovely to meet you, Mason doesn’t shut up about you I swear’ she laughed, pulling back to smile brightly ‘I’m Debbie, this is Tony’ she told you, and you smiled at Masons dad as he held out his hand for you to shake.

‘Ignore her, she’s just excited’ his dad explained as Debbie tutted in his direction.

‘Well yes, I am. It’s nice to have another girl in the family I feel like I’m over run with boys most of the time’

‘What about Summer? And Mila?’ Mason laughed, placing his hand on your hip to let you know he was still there and you felt your whole body relax into him.

‘Oh shush, I meant an adult girl who I can have a conversation with. Anyway, something smells great’

‘Yeah, y/n’s making dinner. It won’t be too much longer’ Mason explained. ‘Why don’t you guys put your bags away and get yourself sorted and then we can eat’ They both agreed, shuffling out of the room leaving you and Mason alone again and he pulled you into a hug, kissing you temple gently. ‘See, wasn’t so bad was it?’

‘I don’t think I said a word’ you whispered, both laughing before you quickly finished dinner off and plated up just in time for his parents to come back down.

‘Wow, this all looks delicious’ Debbie commented as you sat down and you felt Mason squeeze your knee besides you.

‘Yeah, y/n’s a bit of a wiz in the kitchen’

‘I wouldn’t go that far’ you smiled up at Mason and he rolled his eyes playfully at you.

‘She’s just being modest, she makes the best cookies I’ve ever had’ he told them, rattling off all the other things you’d made for him that he loved whilst you sat and blushed, his parents looking on at the pair of you with a smile before you changed the topic to ask how they had been and what the journey up was like.

When you were done, Debbie helped you stack the dishwasher and you couldn’t believe how comfortable you felt around her already. She kept the conversation light and flowing and once it was all away she sent you a bright smile.

‘Now, Mase doesn’t know this but I’ve bought a photo album of his from when he was a baby, I thought you might like to see some of them’

‘Oh I’d love too, I bet he was so cute’

‘Well I am biased but he was adorable. I’ll go grab it from upstairs and meet you in the other room’ she smiled before scurrying off to retrieve it.

You made your way into the living room and cautiously sat down next to Mason. He smiled at you placing his hand palm up on your thigh for you to thread your fingers through and once you had he pulled you into him gently and kissed you on the head just as Debbie walked in and placed the album in your lap.

‘Oh mum, why did you bring that?’ He groaned as you laughed at him, opening it up to the first page to see the most adorable and tiny baby boy. You couldn’t help but coo at him before you felt him crawl back beside you and place his chin on your shoulder from behind you so he could look too.

You both looked through it as his parents told you stories from when he was a kid. From what they were telling you he was still as cheeky now as he was back then. It felt so nice to be surrounded by a loving family, the realisation that you’d never had this hit you like a truck and you had to blink away your tears. Mason cottoned on straight away and kissed your cheek discreetly to try and comfort you and you squeezed his thigh in response.

‘We’re gonna head up I think, need a good nights sleep before all that traveling tomorrow’ Debbie smiled, pulling the pair of you into hug before they made their way upstairs. Leaving you and Mason alone but you were afraid to look at him as you knew what he would say.

‘Is everything okay?’ He whispered. And you nodded your head even though that wasn’t how you felt. ‘You can tell me you know’

‘I know’ you whispered, finally feeling brave enough to look at him but the expression on his face made your eyes water again. ‘I didn’t think I’d feel like this, you know? Like missing something I’ve never really had and I don’t know why I’m getting so upset’ you laughed but you felt the tears roll down your cheeks that Mason brushed away.

‘I know baby. And I know it might not help but you’ve got me now, and all the weirdos that come as a part of my package deal’ he joked and even though you were still laughing your tears flowed even faster as you started to feel like you finally belonged somewhere. ‘It’s okay to get upset, love. It’s not like you’ve never had it. But they’re not in your life for a reason. They never deserved you and they don’t deserve your tears’

‘Love you’ you whispered, still getting used to saying those words after a few weeks but the way he smiled at you made your whole body flush.

‘Love you, too’ he whispered back, kissing you gently before taking your hand in his. ‘You ready to go up?’ He asked and you nodded, helping him lock up downstairs before quietly making your way into his room. ‘I’m so glad they’ve gone to bed, all I’ve thought about is taking this dress off of you’ he told you as soon as you walked in but you batted him off before grabbing your pyjamas.

‘Down boy, not tonight’

‘You’re joking. Why not?’

‘Mason, I’m not having sex with you whilst your parents are across the hall. End of. It’s bad enough us sleeping in the same bed’

‘What are you on about?’ He laughed, trying to hold you by your waist but you were determined to not let him get under your skin. ‘We’re adults, they probably can guess we’re having sex’

‘Just go take a cold shower or something’ you told him and he pouted at you dramatically before marching off, giving you chance to get changed without his prying eyes on you. Once he opened the door again you went inside to join him so you could clean your teeth and do your skincare before crawling into bed with him. His arms around you as you laid your head on his chest.

‘Hey y/n? I thought you looked really pretty today’

‘Mason, I told you I’m not having sex with you’

‘I’m not asking you too’ he laughed, squeezing you tighter as you laughed into his neck. ‘Can a man not tell his girlfriend she looks pretty?’

‘Not when there’s a ulterior motive, no’

‘I’m offended you’d think that way about me’

‘Go to sleep, Mase’ you laughed and after a quick kiss goodnight you were both off.

The flight wasn’t that long the next day and you arrived in Amsterdam at around 2pm where you picked up the rental car that the company who were making the documentary had organised for you all. Tony drove and you sat in the back with Mason who was a bit sleepy, the anxiety from flying wearing him out and you looked at him lovingly as he sat and played with your fingers as you spoke to Debbie.

You looked up in awe as you approached the hotel, the grand white building looked intimidating but you followed them into the impressive reception and stood next to Mason as he checked you all in.

‘So I’ve got two rooms, both for two nights’ she confirmed and Mason nodded causing you to look at him with confusion but you made a note to ask him about it later.

Both rooms were on the top floor of the building but thankfully quite far apart from each other and you gasped as you walked in. The room was beautiful, a huge loft bed that was built into a wooden platform and comfy sofas dotted around but it was the huge bath next to the bed you gravitated towards first and you laughed as Mason cheekily wiggled his eyebrows at you.

‘Not bad, huh?’

‘Considering I’m used to staying at travel lodges, I think it’s more than not bad’ you told him, looking out of the window that you could see the whole estate from.

‘Dinners at six so in like two hours, you fancy a little nap?’ He asked, flopping down on top of the sheets and you carefully crawled in besides him, hugging him from behind as you could tell he was still a bit fragile from the flight and you knew he secretly loved being the little spoon. You felt him relax as he bought your hands up to his mouth to kiss over them gently and you smiled before kissing the back of his neck.

‘Mase? I thought you said we were staying till Tuesday. This room is only booked until Sunday’

‘Yeah don’t worry, we’re going somewhere else for the last two nights’ he mumbled sleepily and rather than ask anymore questions you left a light kiss on the back of his neck before letting the soft sounds of his breathing lull you to sleep.

Around 45 minutes until you had to be at dinner you woke up and slipped off into the bathroom so you could get changed and since Mason seemed to like the dress you wore so much yesterday you decided to get changed into a similar one however this one had a bit of a slit up the leg that you thought Mason would enjoy.

You were just applying the finishing touches to you make up when a sleepy Mason walked in, but you noticed the way his demeanour changed as soon as he caught sight of you and the low growl that came from him made you clench your thighs together.

‘Is it my birthday or something? These look insane on you’ he murmured ’you gonna let me do something about it this time’ he whispered in your ear as he gripped your waist and the feeling of him prodding you in the back was making your heart flutter.

‘We don’t have time’ you told him meekly, but the kisses that were trailing down your neck were making you shiver and you knew you couldn’t deny him twice.

‘I can be quick’ he mumbled getting down on his knees behind you and lifting your dress up and over your bum before pulling you underwear down to your ankles as he kissed your thighs gently. ‘You’re ready for me though by the looks of things’ he laughed and you gasped when you felt his tongue tease you apart. The noise that came from you almost made you embarrassed but the way he just dived into you even further made you whimper. He didn’t stay down there long, standing up so he could push you forward gently, eventually resting your elbows on the sink so you could look up at him through the mirror.

You hissed as he started pushing in, his eyes straight on yours in the reflection but you let him know it was okay to keep going and he gently carried on before speeding up. He kept his hands on your bum before one slipped down your leg, grabbing your thigh so he could place your knee on the counter and you moaned loudly at the new position.

‘That’s it baby, good girl’ he moaned, his hands reaching up to pull the front of your dress down so he could grab a handful of your chest and your arms nearly gave out with how turned on you were, feeling your high starting to fizz in your lower belly but you needed a helping hand. Eyes still focused on his in the mirror, you carefully slipped your hand in between your legs so you could play with yourself but the sight only caused him to pound into you harder.

‘Mase, I’m close’ you gasped, pushing yourself through it and as soon as you were done you pushed him off, getting down in your knees in front of him and opening your mouth so he knew what to do and the strangled moan that came from him made you shiver. He only needed pump himself a few times before he pushed himself into your mouth, releasing a few seconds after and you swallowed him down the best you could. His breathing was heavy but he helped you up and got you adjusted back into your dress before kissing you softly and pulling you into a hug. ‘I didn’t know you were gonna do that I nearly cum all over your face’ he laughed.

‘I was trying not to make a mess’ you giggled before reaching down to pull your underwear up. ‘You better hurry up and get ready, I don’t wanna be late’ you told him and he nodded before sorting himself out and the pair of you left to meet them at six on the dot. ‘We’re gonna be late now, they’ll know what we’ve been doing’

‘We’ll be two minutes baby. I know I’m good but I bet even they don’t believe we can do it in two minutes’ he laughed and you tapped his chest to scold him before you found them sat at the table reserved for you in the hotel restaurant. Your waitress explained that your meal tonight would be paid for by the company so Mason used this as an excuse to order whatever he wanted. ‘What are you thinking, love?’

‘I really want dessert, so I might skip a starter’

‘Can’t handle all three, eh?’ Tony laughed and you shook you’re head slightly whilst picking your drink up to take a sip.

‘I told her not to, but she had a snack just before we left the room’ he told them, squeezing your knee in jest and you almost spat your water out at what he was insinuating. ‘You alright there?’ He laughed, gently tapping you on the back as you grabbed a napkin but you could tell you were blushing furiously at his dirty comment.

‘Sorry, it went down the wrong pipe’ you spluttered and you could see Mason go to say something else inappropriate but you gave him the death glare and he closed his mouth with a cheeky grin. Thankfully his parents seemed none the wiser but it took you a while to be able to look at them properly.

Mason let you share some of his starter as an apology and thankfully you weren’t too full for afters but once you were all done you felt like you could of exploded.

‘We’ll probably head to bed now, so we can be up nice and early for tomorrow’ Debbie explained and you looked at Mason who nodded his head in agreement. After hugs goodnight Mason convinced you to have one drink with him in the bar where you scolded him for his rude jokes before leading you outside for a walk around the grounds as he wanted to take some pictures of you with the impressive background.

‘Mason, what are you doing?’ You laughed, watching him lay on the floor in front of you whilst he directed you how to sit.

‘Just go with it. It’s not my fault you look like a pretty princess. I want some nice pictures of you that are just for me’

‘Would you not rather take those in our room?’ You winked exposing your thigh a little bit more through the slit in your dress and you watched him stare at you with pink cheeks and wide eyes before pulling you up and running you back up to your room.

Tony drove you to the stadium the next day, Mason sitting in the back with you as he tried to point out places he knew and you watched him with a smile as he got more excited the closer you got. Everyone seemed so genuinely happy to see him as he greeted the crew and all the old staff he used to work with but he always kept an eye on you to make sure you were okay and whenever your eyes met you felt the butterflies erupt inside you.

Whilst Mason was sat down for his interview, someone from the club took you, Debbie and Tony off on a tour of the stadium and so you could see some old videos and pictures from his time there. You couldn’t get over how cute he was back then with his little baby face and massive quiff but he still looked like your handsome Mase.

‘It’s so weird, it’s like he’s grown up so much but in other ways he still looks the same’ you commented and Debbie agreed with a laugh.

‘I was just thinking that. It think it’s the little noodle arms’ she joked and as if on cue Mason appeared.

‘I do hope you weren’t just talking about me just then’ he laughed, wrapping an arm around your waist and kissing your temple.

‘We were saying how adorable you were’ Debbie winked and he raised his eyebrows at you.

‘She’s right, you were very sweet’ you told him, kissing his nose as he squeezed your side playfully.

‘What’s all this about ‘were’. I still am’ he argued and you laughed as Debbie rolled her eyes at him behind his back.

After a quick lunch, Mason carried on with his filming that his parents were now involved in and you sat in the stands as they slowly walked around the pitch with his old coach before your phone rung.

‘Hey Frey’ you smiled, thankful you had someone to talk to for a bit.

‘Hello sweetheart, how’s the trip?’ She asked

‘Yeah, good so far. I’m just watching Mase and his parents do some filming’ you told her, going on to explain everything you’d done so far and how nice his parents had been to you.

‘Told you you had nothing to worry about’ she laughed and you rolled your eyes at her. ‘I’m proud of you though, I know this is a lot’

‘Yeah, well he’s worth it’ you breathed, laughing at the gagging noises she was making down the phone.

You spent the rest of the time talking about her upcoming graduation and what her plans were next. You knew she was moving back down south and you couldn’t be more excited to get to see her more often, finally feeling like your life was falling back into place.

The next day his filming continued, this time you were in the city centre at a few locations he used to visit a lot but you were all wrapped up just after lunch. Mason parents were catching a flight that afternoon so after you’d eaten they said their goodbyes and took a taxi back to the airport leaving you and Mason alone and you had no idea as to where you were going or what you were doing next.

‘Right, there’s a food shop not too far from here, shall we go stock up and then I’ll take us to where we’re staying?’

‘Okay’ you nodded, still unsure as to what was happening but you went along with it, pushing the trolly along as he filled it with all your favourite foods before jumping back in the car so he could take you to your next destination.

You weren’t in the car long but your eyes grew wide when you spotted the lake house he was pulling into, your breath catching in your throat as you took it all and you turned to him with a wide smile.

‘Surprise’ he laughed, pulling you in for a quick kiss and you held him by his cheeks to keep him there before he jumped out and opened your door.

‘Mase, this is… how did you?’ You smiled as he helped you out and you were so overcome with emotion you weren’t sure you could finish your sentence.

‘I can be sneaky’ he smiled, holding your hand as he dragged you up the steps so you could have a look around the cozy wood cabin. It was perfect and you couldn’t believe he’d kept this from you this whole time. ‘So what do you think?’

‘I love it. I didn’t think this weekend could get any better’ you laughed, kissing him softly as he squeezed your bum gently.

‘We’re only just getting started’ he winked.

You spent the rest of the night cooking dinner together that you ate in front of the tv before you both got changed into something warm and comfy so you could sit on the deck in front of the fire that looked out onto the lake. You were in your own little world when Mason came outside and you smiled softly at him.

‘I wondered why you got that bag of marshmallows’ you laughed, taking the stick from him that he was handing to you so you could load it up whilst he worked out how to light the fire. Once it was all done he sat behind you on the cushioned seat, you in between his legs as he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder. ‘Thanks for all this, I’ve never done anything like this before’ you told him, not having the courage to look at him right now.

‘What do you mean?’ He asked you gently, clearly picking up on the emotion in your voice and not wanting to push you too far but you felt comfortable enough in his arms to carry on talking.

‘Just all of it, you know? Never been away with a boy before really, nothing like this anyway. Never felt so comfortable around anyone else parents’ you laughed as he kissed your neck with a smile. ‘I really like them’

‘Well they love you’ he laughed and you finally turned to look at him, offering him some of your half burnt marshmallow that he ate whilst trying to make out it was nice. ‘I bought you here for a reason you know’

‘To this house? Or here in general?’ You quizzed as you both shuffled about a bit so Mason was resting against the back of the chair and you could see each other a bit better. You sat and admired him for a few seconds as the glow from the fire lit up his face, the flames crackling in his big dark eyes and you had to hold yourself back from leaning forward to kiss him.

‘Here in general’ he told you softly, lacing your fingers together as he rubbed slow circles into the back of your hand. ‘I used to be a lot like you, you know?

‘What? a bit sarcastic and hungry all the time’

‘Very funny’ he teased, squeezing your hand before kissing your knuckles. ‘No. Closed off, not trusting’

‘I don’t believe that’ you chuckled lightly but the look on his face told you he was serious.

‘It’s true. Growing up in football, you’re basically at war with all the other boys in the academy you know? Fighting for places and opportunities so I always kept my head down and did what I needed to do. When I got here I was so focused on getting the job done and proving myself that I didn’t really take into account that I could enjoy it. I remember the coach here, I used to shake his hand ever day before training but I never smiled at him’ he confessed and you squeezed his hand gently to let him know you were still listening. ‘But they didn’t give up on me, always included me in things and really made me feel part of the family, I really learnt a lot here. I know sometimes you’ve wondered in the past why I was so patient with you and why I never pushed you. It’s because I know exactly how you feel and how hard it is to change. But I’ve adored you from the second I saw you and I knew that I could maybe teach you everything they taught me.

You felt your tears rolling down your face before you even knew you were crying and you gently reached forward to cup his jaw so you could kiss him softly, pouring yourself into him as you tried to let him know how much you appreciate his sweet words.

‘That’s why I wanted to bring you here, this place is special to me, and so are you. I wouldn’t be who I am today without this place and all the people I met and I know how lucky I am that I get to do stuff like this and bring my people with me. And I love that you’re now one of my people. I’d hate for you to think you don’t belong anywhere cause you belong to me’ he whispered against your lips and you had to let out a shaky breath so you wouldn’t cry any harder. Mason always had such a way with words and you couldn’t help let your brain do the talking as you spewed words out at him.

‘I love you so much, Mase. I swear I thank my lucky stars everyday that you came into my life. You’ve completely turned my world upside down in the best way possible and I’m so thankful I get to be part of yours’ you told him, never having said anything like that to him before and you watched as his eyes glossed over and his bottom lip wobbled ever so slightly. ‘Thank you for bringing me here and thank you for telling me all this. I feel so much closer to you’

‘I love you too. You have no idea how much’ he laughed, voice thick with unshed tears as pulled you back to him so he could kiss you, his hands reaching up under your sweatshirt so he could stroke over you bare skin and you smiled into the kiss.

When you pulled back, you laid yourself down on his chest, head half tucked into his neck so you could both watch the fire die down and just hold each other as your words sunk in.

You loved him and he loved you. And right now that’s all that mattered.

Tagged: @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mm-vii @footiehoemcfc @masonmount07

[elmhat]

Dreblr Survey Results Pt.3 - Confessions.

So. The time has come. There was a section at the end of the survey where it simply said to "say something unhinged," and you really did! Here are some of the most entertaining ones.

Again, I'm pasting these directly from the form. If anyone thinks I wrote this stuff myself I think I'll go and sit under the sea for several hours.

⚠️ A lot of these are NSFW. I'm serious, please be responsible :)

People being really really funny

something unhinged

Something unhinged

Ur mom is unhinged

penis

Calls for violence against everyone who has ever wronged Dream

I want to blend (with a blender) c!q and c!sam and throw the substance to the wolves

Quackity should have died

I think Tommy should have stayed dead

Dream should have actually tortured tommy

Exile was hilarious. :)

Calls for… forgiveness?

they should've made up with c q in the finale streams

I forgive Q. We don't know what really happened behind the scenes.

Sam, both c! and cc!

Sam is Daddy and I know for a fact he reads AO3 fics that man is NOT normal

cc!sam closeted c!awesamdream shipper

I don't think anything I say can top Sam having a scrapbook of sexy criminals

you know how sam has a bunch of clones of himself to inhabit. alright now imagine him doing that with dream. this is how the awesamdream baby can still win.

c!Sam and c!Dream are fundamentally very different characters with very different wordviews but one of the few things they have in common is praise kink.

I don't think this counts as shipping but that's what I'm calling it

c!dnf gay sex post prison arc happy ending (REAL) (I SAW IT ON THE SCRIPT DOCUMENTS IN DREAM'S COMPUTER)

um um c!dnf in gay love idk they are the only ones for each other sorry

DNF kiss real

CDNF IS OVERHYPEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I SAID IT AND I MEANT IT

If c!dreamnotnap had slept together i think dream would have stayed sane

i think s apnap fucks d ream with his small dick and they both love it and love each amen 🙏

i want to get c!sapnap pregnant

The most superior ship is Dream/Technoblade/Punz/DreamXD/Foolish/Kristin/Philza Because in this household we love big polycules

i think dream should've done more crime and fucked awesamdude

Dream and Sam fucked in that prison

C!DREAM IS A TRANS WOMAN AND AWESAMDREAM FUCKED NASTY IN THAT PRISON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dreblr's overwhelming preoccupation with c!Awesamdream is getting kinda worrying ngl

dream and quackity are what I seek in a relationship

c dreamity is my otp i love those unhinged bastards kissing eachother

Dreambur needs more love and I’m tired of it being pushed aside

is it even unhinged to assume that Dream fucked Fundy, Fundy's dad (Wilbur) and Fundy's Grandpa (Phil) I feel like that's just a regular sentimet on dreblr by now

dreamza prevails

Dnb best ship

Doomsday trio deserves to fuck nasty imho

He fucked that old man

c!Dream needs to get dicked down I think that would solve a lot of problems post nut clarity if you will

NSFW so don't feel like you need to put this in any compilation i completely understand BUT whenever the c!sam cuck chair crosses my dash, in my head it's traditional dynamic omegaverse c!dnb. c!sam's an alpha who wanted to show off to omega c!dream before claiming and mating with him for their mutual first time. he decides to do this by challenging alpha c!techno to a fight, but to his shock, lost. badly. he has to watch alpha c!techno mate with and claim c!dream right in front of him, because watching such a clearly superior alpha demonstrate his abilities causes c!dream to go into heat and c!techno is happy to help him with that. he's been looking for a mate anyway and c!dream just so happens to be his type. meanwhile, c!dream wants to give c!techno as many litters as his body can handle and barely remembers who that other guy in the room even is, even after his heat calms down.

Dream harems? I guess?

c!Dream has/should have a harem

Dream is a pretty boy and should have taken off his mask to start a harem to prevent war.

Things that I really don't think are that unhinged around here, given their competition

i was such a crazy c!dream apologist in 2021 i actually had a dream about it

I have a spreadsheet with every tag, character and relationship tag for every dsmp fanfciton I read and liked/found interesting.

I know people will say it is/was kinda cringy but I will never think that or regret being part of the fandom (that's not really unhinged I couldn't think of anything sorry lol)

I know its delulu beyond belief and i will never say this not anonymously but sometimes i fantasize about if i was able to be friends with dream team

Wilbur wasn't a hero or "good guy" at any point in his storyline.

Doomsday was 100% justified. (...is that unhinged enough or do I need to pick something else?)

People being too polite for this question

Sorry I am not THAT unhinged

no, but i thank you for the opportunity! I am sadly to hinged, normal even

And more!

George is the main character and we got robbed by not having him meet c!Dream again!! but in meta it is because they are together in real life and who needs their depression character anymore in that senario.

c!DTeam reconciliation arc was always intended

c!drunz are necrophiliacs.

Okay. Okay here me out here OK. So. Imagine Norman (bald guy) is c!schlatt and Pat (white haired dude) is c!Phil OK yw ENJOYYYYYYY : https://youtu.be/b7Bj1dBMYBE?si=Cz79CEISAg6EcMYS

Techno's age of 3 is actually canon and New L'Manberg comitted infanticed

C!Tubbo is the best faction leader. The bar isn't high but I think Technically he did well

c!foolish rights unlimited forever. he deserved blood sacrifices

Cc Sam and Dram were the most normal about the prison

I think quackity should have gotten to do more on screen cannibalism

If c!Quackity had taken hormones to balance his insane lust (Wilbur, Technoblade, Schlatt, etc) he would never have gone crazy send post

I think a Daedalus arc with Quackity instead would've been such a downhill for Dream's sanity. Send tweet.

in a server where we have a c!dream made of oreo cream au . quackity eats him in prison . there is fanart .

Please sir please sir please no more

✨️truama ✨️

all of dreblr contains more competency in media literacy than the rest of tumblr combined

i love how these characters hate each other, keep hurting each other, but tied to each other in a way they just can't shake off.

the only way for c!Dream to be properly Redeemed is to live out the worst thing he subjected another person to: *cue his tropical island paradise getaway arc, sunbathing on the beach with no one to bother him except for friends occasionally visiting* #trust

c!Dream was building an underwater stone temple to satan in order to pray for the apocalypse change my mind

C!Dream is very anthy himemiya coded

c!dream is a cow hybrid and has 4 beautiful tits

I feel like the only cc!dream enjoyer who's also a c!tommy enjoyer

C!dream eggs Monday is the flag of dreblr 🥚

Reminder that C!Dream is a stripper

Dream spoonfeeding post

i think dream should've been worse. as a treat. let him murder more minors please.

Prison feels like cc!Dream’s little whump arc. Also, prisontrio favorite grouping. The best angst and whump in town.

Whenever I write whump fanfics it feels like I’m sticking my blorbos in an empty pickle jar and shaking it like a kid holding a snowglobe for the first time

Todo es un invento del gobierno

Today's culinary special is teeth cake

i think we should all collectively gaslight people/edit the wiki to try and convince people omegaverse was canon to the DSMP. or make a fake second wiki.

*grabs you by the shoulders* ok so after wilbur died and fundy was alone and grieving he kept getting picked on for being an orphan by the rest of the server, for example puffy built an obsidian box around his house in new lmanburg and labelled it an orphanage. fundy was already dealing with the loss of his dad + the appearance of a ghost that was supposed to be his dad but didn't remember half of his life, and now he had to deal with this too. so he starts to mine it meanwhile jack manifold is trying to cheer him up, not helped by the fact that ghostbur keeps hanging around despite fundy not wanting him there. Jack tries to get fundy to look on the bright side, he says that the obsidian box around his house could function as protection from tnt, and so, to prove that's bullshit, fundy places a tnt beside the house he spent so long building and blows up a portion of it. Destroys his own work, a part of his home just to prove a point. It's a self destructive act of defiance. Ghostbur and jack both agree that was unnecessary and jack maintains it could protect the house from outside attacks. fundy continues to take the wall down. Ghostbur fixes the hole in fundy's house, but leaves evidence of the explosion. He puts a sight down saying "-CAUTION- Fallen debris". Now, I need you to know how insane I am over the fact that after doomsday, after the entirety of new Lmanburg was decimated, that sign was the only part of fundy's home that remained unbroken. A sign, surrounded by the rubble of a fallen nation, destruction as far as the eye can see, warning of fallen debris. A sign for a self destructive act of defiance. I am going to eat drywall about this

Okay, one more. People I'm hugging

i miss technoblade

I really want to be a part of dreblr but I feel like they're all cool kids and I'm the quiet weirdo kid hiding in the corner. It feels like if you weren't there for the Founding of the Great Dreblr, there's no way in now. Kinda like you can't get hired as a restaurant janitor as your first job if you haven't already owned the place for 5 years prior

I am in your walls

Thanks everyone for forcing my eyeballs to see this! Reading your responses was certainly an experience I'll be stuck with!

[slashingdisneypasta]

Big Bad x AFAB!Princess!Reader || Smutshot

Plot:

You're holding a hand tight over your mouth to keep from screaming, the pleasure of having your cunt stretched and pummeled all too much for you. // "Next time you come ta the cottage... you'll be able to scream as loud as you want. I don't care what anyone thinks, listenin' in. They're gonna think I'm fucken eating you whole with how loud I'll train ya to be for me. I wanna hear those squeals~"

Basically, Big Bad pulls through on his promise from last time (in Part 1).

Warnings: Smut with feelings- but when the smut comes it is DIRTY. B takes you like bitch in heat, pretty much literally. Dirty talk, doggy style (But not anal, I'm not into it sorry), rough, on the floor, nuts in you, a few moments of edging, begging, knotting, etc.

Tagging: @marinerainbow. Yes, more! XD

The next time you are 'kidnapped' (Though the word had lost its true meaning at this point. You've been very happy to be taken by your wolves for some time now, and this time was definitely not exempt- even if you were nervous for this one considering what happened the last time you and Big Bad were... in the visinity... ), you were curious as to how Big Bad would feel about you now. Is it possible that he lost interest, now? Now that he had had you? Isn't that a thing, with villains?...

But- no. He was more then your villain wasn't he?? You were good friends! Despite your rolls, at least, you thought you were friends.

Maybe more, now. Hopefully-

But... there is still a nagging worry that's been dancing around in the corner of your mind since he left you that night. You thought, because he didn't turn around to glance at you one more time as he disappeared back into the woods when he left (Going back to his home. Leaving you to yours. It felt wrong that they werent the same), that it meant... maybe, you didn't mean much to him afterall. Not after-...

You also thought that was silly, but- Edward always looked back whenever he left you. Perhaps it was a prince thing, but goddamnit it fucked with you.

When you noticed that it was just him - Big Bad, - , no Granny and no Kiddy around to kidnap you with him like they always are- you become even more confused. What? But- Where were they? The moment Big Bad sets you down on the uneven cobblestone ground outside the dark old cottage that the wolves live in deep in these woods, you start fiddling with the tips of your fingers; picking at the skin and peering around awkwardly, as he reaches a thick arm past you and chucks the door open. For you. "Um- "

"Yeah?"

"Where are, uh, um- where are the guys?"

Big Bad's shiny canine-eyes, inhuman eyes, flicker down to your smaller form with a dark and primal grin that all of a sudden sets your insides on fire. Your lips fall open. "Got rid of 'em. Figured this time we might wanna be alone... " For a second the dirty, needful way he was looking at you softens the tiniest bit, and you watch his ears flatten half-way against his head sweetly- if Big Bad could be sweet. Your head tilts to the side, confused again, but his next word - as gruff and growly as it still sounded, - cleared it up for you. Your eyes widen. "right?" ... He was checking.

"... mhm- " Yes. Words fail you, so you just nod; eager and pleased and aching to reach for him. Feel him under your hands again, his fur and his fat. Already theirs a throbbing heat starting to blossom in your lower belly, excited to have him touch you the same way as he did the last time. Use you again, like you remember. Inside your chamber at the palace, during the awful time you have to spend just waiting around for your story to start up all over again, when you're supposed to 'enjoy your happy ending', you couldn't get it out of your head.

Since you and Edward don't share a room with eachother, not even on that first night after the your story finishes, you would lay there flat on your back in that beautiful canopied bed wondering where Big Bad was right then. You could see that dank cottage and you actually wished you were there, not in the palace though it's beautiful and comfortable. Was he still thinking about you? you would think, too, cheeks getting hot. And when you would let your eyes fall shut, you would picture it again; the way Big Bad's cock felt stretching you and making you feel full-up, and your heartbeat would speed up inside your chest and your toes would curl.

You tried to feel it again by yourself, stroking your sensitive folds to thoughts of him, memories, and dipping your own fingers in while picturing those deep burnt acorn coloured eyes smirking at you like always does, but it wasn't the same.

When Big Bad's clawed paw wraps slowly around your arm now like he's just reminding himself you're really really truly back, and he leans into your face and you feel his breath, you're afraid your heart just might take off with how hard it's beating becwuse of him. His eyes wonder up and down your body and he swallows, growls, and then returns to your eyes with a sharp smirk. "... I thought so."

That makes you grin; a bright, toothy one. "You did??"

"Mhm... c'mon."

You don't need to be told twice, feeling Big Bad's paw move to the small of your back feather-light, you fly into the house like his touch gave you wings. Before you turn around, the door closes and the two of you are plunged into darkness, except for the little streams of daylight coming in through the cracks in the closed window curtains- well, what daylight manages to first get in through the trees overhead at least. So, despite daylights efforts, it is still quite dark in here.

You can still at least see his broad shape in the dark though, and he can definitely see you (And if he couldn't then he could sniff you out. Or he could hear you breathing) as he finds you effortlessly, body colliding finally back with yours. God you missed him. God you missed him! You have missed Big Bad every time you've been taken away for years now, but all of a sudden its really hitting you. You hate being away.

A surprised gasp escapes you as his arms wrap around you in the dark, your own gliding up his wide, warm chest until your finger tips glide along his furry shoulders. Your palms find the hill of his neck and you get up on your tippy toes- aiming a kiss blindly towards his sensitive snout. Now that its dark, you feel more confident.

More needy. More willing to show it.

A chuckle escapes him as your lips touch his nose all-soft, and you feel it through his belly and against your chest which makes you smile again. "You're an eager little princess this time, huh?... sweet,.. "

"I missed you." You whisper matter o' factly, just telling him because its true. You don't want to keep it to yourself.

"Hmm? And what'd ya miss? Huh? My... " You can feel a clawed finger entangle itself in a thick strand of your hair. "Wit?"

"Yes... "

"My... " He gives it a gentle tug, and it is the oddest thing; The feeling blooms into something tingly that rushes straight down to your core. You let out a quipped sigh and he breathes out a growl. "Roguish looks?... my sense of humour?... c'mon sweetheart, you're gonna haveta' give it to me straight."

Your eyes are round and shiny in the dark, your hands on his shoulders again as you tilt your head to the side. You know he's after something specific, he's devious and he wants to make you admit how much you've wanted his knot again these past few weeks and make you beg for him- and you have wanted that and you will beg- but mostly you just missed your friend. You always miss him when you're over there; he's your best friend. And you just wwnt him to know. "I just... missed you."

For a moment Big Bad doesn't respond, just stares at you. It makes you nervous that you cant see his expression but when you feel his paws clench tighter around your waist- and worse, the hot appendage straining against loose-fitting pants and the inside of your thigh, you figure you must have said the right thing. When he talks, his deep-growly-voice is so impossibly huskier and lost to lust that you know his eyes must match. You'd love to see them. The next time, you think with a little elevated smirk, you'll have him fuck you somewhere light- so that you can see clearly how he looks at you with his thick cock sunk inside you. "... fucking hell pup you're gonna kill me."

Spurred on by the dark and the way his voice is full of lust, you graze your fingers down over his chest until your touch reaches the rope keeping the old fabric around his hips under his belly, and slip your fingertips just beneath the waistband. You could just keep going, and feel it again... the idea is enticing, his heavy cock in your hand. "... how would I do that?" You ask, eyes downcast and head full of fuzz and hot thoughts.

Before you can get any further, Big Bad's large clawed paws are digging into your hips and dragging you against his still-clothed cock, making you gasp and let go of him; biting your lip at the vague outline of that thickness you've been dreaming about against your puffy pussy again. Finally. "... you're fucken perfect, doll. I'm gonna mate you tonight."

"You're gonna- "

"Make you mine, little princess." He cuts you off and clarifies, a sharp claw touching into the delicate skin beneath your chin and nudging your face up to look at him leering over your form. You can just see the light reflecting off of his eyes. "Officially. How d'ya feel about that? I'm thinkin' that's what you want... Ta have a monster split ya so good you're never good fa anyone else again. Have me keep ya here and not let the fucken prince take ya away from me again- break the rules for ya. Keep ya with me, keep ya safe, keep you happy and keep ya filled like a needy little bitch... hm? Y/N? Whadaya think?"

"... please." You can't think of a thing else to say.

"That's what I thought."

~

You come to find that when Big Bad says he'll do something, he does it. He didn't even move you to the bedroom you know there is in this cottage; he just whipped you around like a doll and shoved you down to the ground, on your stomach. It makes you feel like a helpless victim as he pulled up your skirts and took out his leaking cock- rubbing the precum-covered tip all over your sloppy wet entrance from behind. The feeling has you emitting choked sighs.

When he slips in ball-deep, filling you up completely in one go unlike the last time when he took things slow for you (this time he didnt bother, and you want to thank him for it. You were more then ready and you were already clenching around nothing), your fingernails dig into the wooden floor. "Ah- " It feels so good, your pussy is already squeezing him tight and very sensitive to the feeling of his heavy balls grazing your skin.

"Little pup, I toldya last time- the next time I fucked ya you'd get ta be as loud as ya want. So- " Like you're his to use, his to pose and spread out just how he wants to see you, he uses two sharp-clawed paws to pick up your hips and set your knees against the wood nice and far away from each other, your lips stretched open wide around his thick, fat cock the further he stretches your thighs from eachother. Sighing, again, you lean down to the floor and rest your forehead against your forearm; arching your back like a cat in the sun equally as much for him and for yourself. You neeeed him... "Lemme know what I'm doin' right, yeah?~ Heheh."

Then, having mounted you like a dog, a bitch, Big Bad starts to pound you like one. And you do as you're told, sticking your fingernails so deeply into the wood that you make indentations that you'll look for again later, chewing your bottom lip like a toy, and huffing and pleading (Please- please- please- please- oh, please- ) along with his every hard thrust up into your leaking hole. Just like the last time, he loses himself to the feeling of your hot little cunt wrapped around his fat cock.

When he bends over your back, his heavy body weighing you down and making it harder to breath (which just hieghtens your pleasure, like its hump or die), the heel of his paw lands heavily next to your hand in the wood and he starts humping against you even faster, even rougher, his nose finding its way to your neck purely by feel alone; sniffing hard at your scent and your sweat. Memorising you this way. Sure, he already knew you from before, from all the times he had to hunt you down when you were lost in the woods and he kidnapped you away from your prince, but not this way. Not full of his cock, covered in his scent. This you was his, actually his. He had imagined it before, filling you -special you, - with his pups but this was real. This was you really being his. Willingly, enthusiastically, desperately his.

He never wanted to be without your sweet cunt wrapped around him again. He was finally maling you his and he wanted you to always be on his fat cock now. He did not want to let you go, again.

He knew that was an impossibility, but he could make this one last. Until you came crawlin' back to him for more like a good, loyal bitch, at least.

"Louder," He growls into your ear, sharp teeth then scraping against the soft soft skin of your neck. A little princesses neck. He cannot wait to mark this skin up so bad you cannot be considered anything but his, by anyone. Especially your dumb little prince. - He'll get to that, though. "I want 'em ta hear your pretty screamin' at the palace. I want 'em ta think I'm rippin' you apart."

He's furiously ramming into your hole now when suddenly he stops- just grinding his groin tediously into your slick, drippy, sensitive heat and making you whine. Needy. Desperate. "Please... please, B- I- I need y- "

"Whadaya need?"

"You... please... pleasepleaseplease... " God, he's just torturing you. You're crying, tears actually creeping out the corners of your eyes and sliding down your hot cheeks. You can taste the salt in your mouth. The pleasure is so slow, so drawn out between your thighs, you're full but he's only rubbing himself against you now- edging you. Teasing you. Training you. How he can even keep himself together like he is right now with the way you're wringing him out with your cunt, you have no clue because you're about to explode, pressing your forehead into your forearm. Your forehead massaging your forearm as Big Bad's movements roll your body.

"Who am I? What am I?"

"... Wolf... my- my... mate... g- please!"

That's the breaking point. Yes he is your fucking mate. And you are his. "Scream." He tells you then, raising up into his knees again and starting to suddenly slam between your folds harder then ever. Every thrust has him pulling out almost all the way, almost leaving you empty each time before his groin presses against the back of your puffy cunt and your ass again when he goes back in. Fucking you braindead like a pathetic little pup.

His cock pummels into you, stretching your inexperienced little hole as far as it can go it seems, and making your legs tremble with pleasure as you arch your ass back into him more. You didn't know he could get like this, almost feral- your intimidating, yet surprisingly well-mannered Big Bad who was destroying your drooling cunt because he can not control himself inside you. A scream rips out of you, your fingers ball into a fist and your eyes squeeze shut as the pleasure comes to an overwhelming head. "Big Baad!!"

Suddenly he nuts, blowing that hot feeling inside you once again just like last time, which sends you over the edge- making you a sloppy, creamy, destroyed mess on the floor with his knot still stuck in you. His cum oozes out of you around his knot, drooling down your thighs and to the wood while your tears dry up on your cheeks.

After a few moments of heavy breathing on both your ends, Big Bad comes back to reality first and leans over you once again to nose up your spine until he reaches your neck. While you're coming down from that great high, he gently rubs your little cunt around his knot to calm you down while breathing in your sweet scent from your neck.

"... that's was good, Y/N... princess... real good... you're all mine now, yeah?... I promise I wont let 'em take ya away again this time... "

[rocicrew]

4, 28, 31, 69, 86, 100!

get to know me asks, accepting

4. What is your favorite book?

okay hear me out, i'd been on the largest reading slump these past years and just now begun reading more. that said, ursula k le guin is really rising to my favorite authors and the carrier bag theory of fiction has become one of my fave fave non fiction essays. but it says book so rn i'm going to go with ng (nemesis games)<3 out of emotional value (that book broke me thnx, and so did tw)

28. What’s your favorite holiday tradition?

holiday tradition hmmm we celebrate with big family anymore so we've cut back on the traditions but one i'm always excited for is for new years, we have a large cake like, well, cake (not the frostings and everything, but a well- flour cake ig from a bakery and if often has orange- like shaving- for taste or nuts is rlly common and powered sugar at the top) and you put a coin in the cake or it's often baked in and on the morning of new years you cut it and in whoever's piece the coin is hidden is supposed to have good luck for the entire year. it's just fun to like cut it and start digging in the cake to see who got. and you get to have cake and a cup of coffee first thing on new years so what's not to like ??

31. What’s a show that everyone loves that you didn’t?

i was trying to remember anything that i actively hate you know. that i really don't like but nothing comes to mind straight away ? i have to admit i haven't seen a lot of popular shows in the first place. like got? haven't seen it. tvd? saw like a season and it wasn't for me. buffy ? buffy i haven't seen bc it aired when i was young and it never aired here and i never bothered to find another way to watch it. bc i haven't seen things i can't say i don't like it definitively, but a lot of them have juts not piqued my interest. or there's a general consensus of yeah this wasn't good.

one category i usually tend to dislike, though, whenever they air here and that seems to be received well is sitcoms. there are good ones i'm sure. (one particular i rlly loved and think is considered kind of a sitcom is the good place, but i'm talking in general here.) and for most, their type of humour isn't my type of humour so they end up being eh for me. (also there's things that are direct state/american ish references in the jokes that obviously don't hit the same to someone not living there)

also i cannot watch high school shows anymore, i could never relate to them and that made me feel shitty so i've stopped watching those kind of shows several years now.

i'm speaking mostly on american shows here, & whenever they air them on tv couple years later here.

69. What turns you on?

i'm not a very easily sexually aroused person, like i'm still questioning whether i'm somwhere on the ace spectrum. but uh, physical features ig, if it's something that's going to do it for me, it's going to be the eyes. i'm so weak for brown eyes. but um, the rest is personality mostly. ik kindness seems like a cop out answer but like a crush i had that was being kind to the waiters at the coffee shop we were in and saying goodbye to some entrance staff we have at uni (bc he told me if he was at their place he'd like a kind word),, weak in the knees. also sidenote: someone i was talking with, send me a message and told me they doing their physics homework and thought to check on how i was,,,,, yeah that did it for me skfuagEFIFS

86. What are you most comfortable sleeping in?

i do use pajamas. i have lots of pajama bottoms. either fluffy ones or thin ones for spring from when i was younger and as long as they haven't ripped i still wear them with a tanktop or an old long sleeved t-shirts. i like soft materials and for them to be loose but other than that i don't have something specific.

100. What’s one of your fondest memories?

winning an art competition when i was young that was pretty cool !! and that got me free lessons with a great teacher.

other than that, any time i'm swimming at the sea honestly.

[watchmegetobsessed]

TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Two (Harry Styles)

a/n: you guys thank you so much for all the love you’ve showed part one!! 🥺 im so happy you like the story! i wanted to post part two a little later, in the weekend but i got so happy for all the reactions that i decided to move it earlier so here it is! i’ll try to update soon, the longest it will take is one week probably. im working on my thesis and have a lot of school work so please be patient with me! feedback is very much welcomed, as always, your reactions and comments mean so much to me!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce

word count: 10.4k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

Pulling Izzy out of daycare dramatically lessened the amount of time she could spend with her friends, so the situation needs extra attention on her socializing. You’ve been trying to take her to the park as much as possible so she could meet with kids her age and Harry has been arranging a lot of playdates for her with her friends from daycare.

When you come back from meeting your brother for lunch on a Sunday, you are greeted with not two, but eight little feet running around the living room, many of Izzy’s toys have been brought downstairs and the coffee table is filled with fruits, snacks and drinks for the kids. You know the two little guests, it’s Yara and Zac, the three of them were like a little gang back when Izzy was attending daycare. Yara’s moms and Zac’s mom are sitting on the terrace, letting the kids roam around freely, Harry is in the kitchen preparing some sandwiches for the guests when you arrive back.

“Hi, do you need help with anything?” you ask, catching his attention.

“Oh, hi! No I’m fine, thank you. How was lunch with your brother?”

“Great,” you smile at him before leaving him to do whatever he has to do.

“Miss Y/N!” Yara greets you, waving in your way while munching on an apple slice.

“Hello Yara, Zac,” you smile at them before walking out to the terrace to greet the parents. “Hi! Ava, Saige, it’s nice to see you again. And Linda, hello!”

“Y/N, hi! Harry told us you might return soon, so good to see you!” Ava greets you as you join them at the table. They’ve been the nicest parents while you were working at the daycare, though you weren’t the only victim of the closed-minded cowards that got you fired. Ava and Saige have faced quite a lot of backlash for basically daring to be a same-sex couple out in the open. You’ve heard many complaints from other parents about how they don’t want them to pick up their daughter together. Apparently, it’s confusing for the kids to see two women to be the mothers of the same child. Ridiculous.

“I was out having lunch with my brother. How have you been?”

“Things are the same, you know,” Saige shrugs with a scowl. “But your firing has got us thinking about pulling Yara out as well.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, it’s starting to get really ridiculous. I mean it’s one thing that we get weird looks, but firing you was kind of the last straw,” Ava nods.

“And how have you been here, Y/N? How is working for Harry?” Linda asks.

“Oh, it’s amazing, really. I love taking care of Izzy, she is so easy to handle and I love seeing her learn and grow. And Harry is a great boss, I got really lucky.”

“Lucky indeed!” Ava smirks, making them all laugh as you feel yourself blushing. “Even I sometimes dream about the man,” she adds, keeping her tone down.

“How do you keep your cool?” Linda sighs. “If I had to live with this man, I would go nuts.”

“Well, Izzy keeps me pretty busy, and he is my boss, so…”

“It’s not like HR would be up your ass if you got involved,” Saige shrugs, taking a sip from her iced tea.

You don’t get to react, the kids run out, taking over the playground, Harry arriving right behind them with a plate filled with sandwiches for the guests.

“Ladies, sorry for the wait,” he smiles, placing the food to the table as he joins your little circle.

“Oh Harry, thank you so much!” Ava sighs, grabbing one already. “We were just talking to Y/N about how big of an upgrade it is for her to work here.”

“Is it?” he asks, slightly surprised as he glances over at you.

“I mean, the paycheck is better and it’s clearly a better environment,” you chuckle shrugging.

“I just don’t know why Claire lets those assholes control the place. She is the boss there, she should stand up against them,” Linda scowls.

“She is just trying to avoid confrontation.”

“No, she is afraid they would stop paying the daycare the money, so she is an ass-kisser,” Saige scoffs, making you laugh.

“Well, at least I have Y/N now to take good care of Izzy,” Harry smiles, his eyes meeting yours and you swear your heart skips a beat when he says that he has you.

“Lucky bastard!” Ava throws her hands into the air, making everyone laugh.

Enjoying the company, you stay outside instead of locking yourself up in your room. It’s nice to see the moms occasionally pick on Harry, they surely like to joke about him being a hot single dad, but he usually just blushes and smiles at the compliments. Linda and Zac leave first, then Ava, Saige and Yara head home as well when it’s nearing five in the afternoon. Though Harry tells you to just leave the cleanup for him, you insist on helping.

“Now I feel bad you are working on your day off,” he huffs as you help him around in the kitchen.

“It’s not working,” you roll your eyes. “I live here too, of course I’m gonna help keeping it clean.”

“You know, if your brother ever wants to come over, feel free to invite him.”

“Might take your word, because he is very curious about the place,” you chuckle. Harry smiles as he starts washing the dishes.

“He is welcomed anytime.”

“Thank you.” Putting away the snacks that was left you start drying the dishes while he is washing them, working next to each other in silence. Unlike his usual attire, he is now wearing just a plain white t-shirt with light-washed jeans. “You’re quite the moms’ favorite,” you tease him, earning a soft chuckle from him.

“Saige and Ava like to pull my leg, but I know they mean well.”

“They are great people, I always liked them,” you smile glancing at him.

“I remember when I first met them at a parents’ meeting, they spotted how lost I was among all the moms and asked if I wanted to sit with them. Then Izzy became friends with Yara so we met quite a few times.”

“I find it a little funny we never met while I was working at the daycare. Izzy was in my group for almost a year and we just never ran into each other.”

Harry licks his lips before turning his gaze to you, finishing up the dishes and turning the water off.

“I saw you.” Your eyebrows shoot up. How did you not see him?

“Really?”

“Yeah, just a few times. Mostly it was Ruth who picked up Izzy these past few months. I had a huge project that ended just before you started here, so I didn’t have the chance to pick her up that much. But I saw you a few times. You were just always busy with the kids, I guess… you didn’t notice me,” he shrugs, holding his arms on his chest as he leans against the counter.

“It could get pretty intense sometimes even though it was just a daycare,” you chuckle, remembering to all the tantrums and fussy dramas that happened between the kids. Sometimes it felt more like a high school than a daycare, especially when friends were taken and lovestories happened through lunchtimes.

“Daddy! What are we having for dinner?” Izzy runs into the kitchen, tippy-tapping her hands on the counter that she can barely reach.

“Macaroni and cheese.”

“Yes! Maccy cheese!” Izzy cheers throwing her hands into the air. Harry smiles down at her, ruffling her hair and you can’t push down a smile at what she just called mac and cheese.

Harry starts prepping for dinner, he puts on some music that Izzy dances to and though you try to leave them be and enjoy their alone time, Izzy insists you stay and help as well.

“Izzy, let Y/N do what she wants, this is her day off,” Harry warns her, making her pout her lips at you. Not that you would have said no to her, but now you definitely can’t leave.

“It’s alright. I’m happy to help.”

Izzy sits on the counter in a safe distance from the stove, her duty is to watch the pasta cook while Harry takes care of the sauce and you set the table, knowing it won’t take long for the food to be ready.

“Daddy?” Izzy speaks up, tilting her head to the side.

“Yes, baby?”

“I love Maccy cheese. Does mom like it too?”

Harry’s eyes flicker over to you, as if he is embarrassed you caught a moment that shouldn’t have been revealed and you can tell he is still kind of torn how to handle the mentioning of his late wife. You keep a straight face, making yourself busy with cleaning off the counter top. You wouldn’t want to make him think he can’t talk about Maggie in your presence.

“Um, yeah. Mommy loves mac and cheese,” he nods, giving her knees a little squeeze before moving her off the counter to take care of the pasta.

Your eyes meet Harry’s gaze when you bring some water to the table and you can tell he is still thinking about the slip you just heard, but you give him a soft smile, trying your best to assure him nothing bad happened.

Izzy babbles through dinner about everything she did with Yara and Zac today, excited to see them as soon as possible and Harry promises her to arrange a meeting for them in the park sometime next week. You try to help with cleaning up, but Harry doesn’t let you, so pouring yourself a nice glass of wine you sit in the living room to watch some TV before going to bed. After dinner, Harry takes Izzy upstairs to give her a bath and once that’s done she is allowed to play some more in her room.

Harry joins you soon on the couch with a glass of wine as well, seemingly tired from all the socializing he did. Peeking at him while the evening news is playing on the screen, you notice that he is not even paying attention, deep in his thoughts he is pulling on his bottom lip like he always does whenever he is deep in focus. You have a guess what he is thinking about, but you want to give him the time and space to figure out if he is ready to share or not.

“I, uhh—I never really told you why it’s just Izzy and I,” he speaks up and you turn to him with patience, knowing the importance of him bringing it up. “My wife… Maggie, she… We got married about six years ago and then two years later we had Izzy. She was six months old when Maggie…”

He is struggling to find the words, or to just even think about it and you don’t want him to feel like he has to tell you about any of it.

“Harry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

“No, I want to. I always feel bad that I don’t talk about her, makes it look like I’m trying to forget about her, but that’s not at all the case, it’s just… hard to think about how long it’s been and I still feel like it was just… last week.”

Harry sniffles and you’re not sure if it’s because he is getting emotional to the point where he is going to start crying or it’s nothing significant, but you feel the urge to assure him about your support. Reaching over you put your hand to his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. His eyes first fall to your hand and then to you, a sense of softness shining back from his green irises as he lets out a shaky breath.

“It was a car accident. She was driving home late night from her sister’s and a drunk driver ran the red light, crashed right into her car. They both were rushed into hospital, but Maggie’s lungs collapsed and she… they couldn’t help her. The guy had surgery and though he broke quite a few bones and had a serious concussion, he survived.”

You have to bite into your bottom lip, already feeling the tears welling in your eyes, but you quickly blink them away. You can only imagine what it’s like to be called and find out your wife was killed because of the dumb mistake of someone else. And to think that Izzy was still so small, Harry was left with a baby and the immense grief so suddenly, it must have been the toughest time he had to go through.

“I’m really sorry, Harry,” you quietly tell him, his eyes flickering up to meet yours and they are glistening from the tears. He just nods, blinking a few times before drinking up his wine.

Before anything else could be said, you hear Izzy running down the stairs, soon throwing herself to the couch, cuddling to Harry’s side.

“Hey baby, want to go to sleep already?” he asks, softly brushing through her hair with his fingers. Izzy nods, blinking sleepily. Harry scoops her into his arms standing up from the couch and he is reaching for his empty glass, but you take it before he could.

“I’ll wash it, don’t worry about it,” you smile at him.

“Thank you,” he breathes out, holding Izzy tight before the two of them disappear upstairs.

You don’t stay out too long yourself either, washing the glasses you let a single tear run down your cheek before quickly wiping it away and heading up to your room.

The past two years you’ve been taking gigs as a photographer more and more, going to weddings, birthday parties, baby showers or anniversaries to snap photos of others’ most precious moments. You are not a professional, nor do you treat yourself as one, but the more events you attended and the more work you put out, the more popular you started to get. Now you have about two bookings every month and you are able to ask for a quite impressive amount of money for a session that people are willing to pay for your pictures.

You’ve been putting off your gigs since you moved into the Styles mansion, wanting to focus on all the changes in your lives, but now that you’ve gotten quite used to your new life one month into it, you are getting back to your usual. This Saturday you’re doing a photoshoot of a soon-to-be-wedded pair who also booked you for their upcoming wedding in a few weeks. It’s kind of an engagement photoshoot since they couldn’t do one when they got engaged months ago, but they didn’t want to miss out on the chance to do one before they official tie the knot.

Harry and Izzy are planning to go to the zoo today, something she’s been begging to do for weeks now and Harry finally gave in, so all three of you are going to be quite busy today. The photoshoot takes place at this fancy, mid-century styled café the couple chose, so you decide to dress up yourself a little too. Putting on a maroon colored pencil skirt that hugs your hips and waist tight, you tuck into it a white silky blouse, making you appear like some kind of eyecandy assistant straight out of a Hollywood movie, especially with your low bun, which is less for the look but more for practicality, since you don’t like it when your hair gets caught in the straps of your camera.

Swinging your camera bag to one shoulder and your handbag to the other one, your camera hanging from your neck, you head downstairs, rushing a little because you’re short on time already. Izzy is sitting on one of the stools at the kitchen island while Harry is packing them some lunch and snacks for the day.

“Oh! Y/N, you look so pretty!” Izzy beams at you when you near the corner. She is dangling her legs playfully, her piggy tails curling adorably on each sides of her head. Harry’s head snaps up and his lips part upon spotting you.

“Thank you, Sunshine,” you smile at her, caressing her cheek, tickling her a little that makes her giggle.

“Where are you going?” she asks curiously.

“Izzy, don’t question her all the time, that’s not too nice,” Harry warns her, but you just shake your head.

“It’s alright. I have a photoshoot today. I have to take pictures of a couple that’s going to get married soon,” you explain to her and Harry’s ears perk up, eyeing the camera that’s hanging from your neck.

“I didn’t know you are a photographer,” Harry hums, closing the cooler.

“Well, I’m not a professional, but I’ve been doing photoshoots here and there.”

“That’s amazing!” he smiles warmly.

“Thanks. Well, I gotta go because I’m running a little late. Have fun at the zoo!” you smile, at them before walking out. You reach the front door but stop for a moment to read the text the bride has sent you letting you know they are running a little late as well. That’s when you hear the conversation between Harry and Izzy coming from the kitchen.

“She looked so pretty!” Izzy sighs. You expect Harry to just hum or ignore her words, but for your surprise, he answers her.

“Yeah, she really does.”

You blush like a teenage girl, feeling your heart fluttering in your chest as you smile, walking out of the house.

The father-daughter duo is still out when you get home later. You make yourself a tea and sit out to the terrace with your computer, starting to edit the photos right away so you can send then over to the couple as soon as possible. They turned out pretty good, you love the colorful vibe the café had and it went well with the pair’s outfits.

You get so into editing that you don’t even notice Harry and Izzy arriving home, just when the sliding door opens and Izzy runs up to you, holding a stuffed animal that appears to be an otter.

“Y/N, look what daddy got me!” she cheers holding up the toy.

“Oh my god, it’s really cute!” You pull her to sit on your lap as she hugs the toy, clearly happy to have a new addition to her already existing army. Harry walks out with a bottle of water and a glass. Joining the two of you at the table, he pours some water for Izzy and makes her drink it.

“We spent an entire hour watching the otters,” he chuckles, brushing Izzy’s hair out of her face as she chugs the water down.

“Can’t blame you, they are really cute,” you chuckle. Izzy puts the empty glass down and hops off your lap before announcing that she is gonna show her new toy around in the backyard before running away from you.

“Are those… the pictures from today?” Harry shyly asks, eyeing your laptop’s screen.

“Oh, yeah. Wanted to get a headstart on editing,” you nod turning it so he can have a better look. “Want to see what I got so far?”

“Of course!” he nods smiling.

You click through the photos you’ve already edited, there are about ten in total and you’re quite satisfied with how they turned out to be.

“Wow, they look… really good, Y/N.”

“Thank you,” you smile blushing a little.

“What events do you usually do?”

“Mostly weddings and engagement shoots, birthdays, these kinds of stuff.”

“It’s really amazing,” he nods smiling.

“I… Hope you won’t be mad but I’ve shot a few pictures of Izzy too these past weeks,” you admit, hoping he won’t get upset for you, doing it without his permission. “I didn’t use them anywhere, I wasn’t planning to, I just thought they were nice moments.”

“Oh, can I see them?”

“Of course!”

Opening up the folder you put her pictures into, you start clicking through the few photos you took of her. There’s one of her during her swimming lesson, laughing happily as she holds onto the edge of the pool, her wet locks sticking to her head. Then there’s one when the two of you were baking cupcakes and she got icing all over her face and tried to lick it off, her tongue sticking out on the picture. There are some of her just roaming around the backyard, exploring the bugs hiding in the grass, some of her napping with her favorite stuffed animals on the couch and then the last one was taken when she was jumping in her bed, you caught her up in the air, the widest smile on her face as she was laughing straight into the camera.

“Y/N, these are… wow. They are all so good, I love them!”

“Really?” Your smile grows wide, happy that he likes them.

“Yeah! Do you think… do you think you can send them to me?”

“Of course! I can get them printed for you, if you’d like. There’s a place where I go to get my photos printed, they make them look like they were taken on an analog, old school camera, I love that little extra touch on the pictures.”

“That would be fantastic,” he smiles, clearly in awe of your work.

You spend the rest of the afternoon editing while Harry and Izzy take over the kitchen as usual. When you’re on your way up to your room with your laptop after you decided to call it a day, you catch them in there, Izzy making Harry dance around with her while they are chopping the veggies. Harry is swaying his lips to the rhythm, humming to the song as Izzy is jumping and twirling around, singing from the top of her lungs. Despite the terrible loss of her mother, there’s no doubt Izzy is having the best possible childhood, getting all the love she deserves from her dad and you feel happy you are here to witness them grow together.

You did not see your parents’ divorce coming, probably because it’s been over six years since you’ve moved out and you only saw them every other week at best. You always tried to come around as often as possible, wanting to spend time with Trevor and of course, them as well, but you had to focus on building your own life. You had to worry about your work, your own living space and not much later you started dating Keith so you were pretty busy to say the least. You weren’t there when things started to go downhill, but Trevor was. He had to suffer through every fight and screaming match they had without any support and you’ve always felt guilty about it, but you couldn’t just move back home. However you’ve always tried to do everything you could to support him through these hard times. He knew he could call you anytime he had enough of the spiteful atmosphere at home and you were quick to come to his rescue.

You were mad at your parents, there’s no need to lie about it. But not because of getting a divorce, you knew better than to expect them to suffer in a marriage they weren’t happy in, but the way they handled has always been just… unacceptable. Especially because in the midst of their anger and hatred towards each other they started to forget that they still had a kid living home who had to listen to everything they threw at each other, things no son should ever hear about his parents, no matter if they were true or not.

Being a teenager in high school is stressful enough as it is, but having to deal with your parents’ nasty divorce is just something no teenager should have to go through. Trevor has been dealing with it for a while now and he is trying his best to just shut them out whenever they are going at it, but sometimes it’s not that easy. That’s when he seeks comfort at you.

It’s a Thursday evening when your parents decide to drive Trevor up the wall with their screaming and fighting again. You’re watching a movie with Izzy and Harry in the entertainment room, working on your laptop simultaneously, confirming some photoshoots for the upcoming weekends. Harry has let Izzy play with his hair while watching the movie, so now she is all over her daddy, decorating his hair with little hairclips and hair ties while the man is just sitting there without a complaint.

Your phone starts buzzing on the couch and Trevor’s photo is flashing on the screen. Putting the laptop aside, you grab your phone and walk out of the room not to disturb them with your call.

“Hey!” you greet him happily, but your stomach immediately drops when you hear him draw a shaky breath on the other end of the line. “Trev? What’s wrong?”

“Can I please spend the night at yours?” he pleads weakly.

“What happened, are you alright?” you perk up right away.

“It’s just… dad came over this afternoon and they went at it again and now they are doing it over the phone, mom is like really out of her mind right now. I have a math test tomorrow and I don’t think I can sleep here like this. She is still screaming at him over the phone.”

“I’m leaving right now, pack a bag, alright?”

“Thanks,” he breathes out and ends the call. Rushing back into the entertainment room Harry turns to you while Izzy is still busy with his hair.

“Uh, I know it’s really sudden and all, but my brother just called, would it be fine if he spent the night over here?” Even though Harry himself told you it’s fine to have people over, you still feel like you need to ask for his permission, especially if your guest is planning to stay the night.

“Is he alright? Of course he can come over.” Sitting straight up he asks Izzy to sit down a little which she gladly does, turning her attention towards the movie.

“It’s just, um, our parents are having another scream match. They are… They are in the middle of getting a divorce and they are not handling it right,” you let out a bitter chuckle.

“Oh, I’m sorry about that. Do you need me to come with you? You seem very upset, you sure you can drive?”

“No, it’s alright, but thanks. I’m fine. I’ll be back soon with him and thank you so much for letting him stay,” you breathe out. He just nods with a sympathetic smile before you turn around and leave.

Through the drive over to the house where you grew up your anger just grows with each turn you take. You love your parents to death, they raised you in a quite unusual and hard situation, they had to grow up with you when they had you so young, but they always made sure to give you everything you needed. And you know they have the same kind of love towards Trevor, but their hatred for each other is blinding them and they probably don’t even realize how much it affects him, but you are not letting them ruin everything because they fell out of love. Trevor deserves the same kind of supportive and loving environment to grow up in just like the one you had and there’s nothing that could change that.

Pulling up to the driveway you take a deep breath as you march up to the front porch and use your keys to let yourself in. The shouting hits your ears right away, it’s coming from the kitchen, but Trevor is the first one you spot on the top of the stairs. His hood is on and he has a backpack in his hands as he comes down the stairs with a pained and tired face.

“Hey! Left the car open, go get in there, I’ll be out in a minute,” you softly tell him as you give him a quick hug.

“Thanks,” he mumbles before walking out.

Following your mother’s voice to the kitchen you find her with a half empty bottle of wine, cussing your father out through the phone.

“Go and fuck that bitch you went out to have dinner with last weekend! Yes I know about that!” she spats and you wince at her words.

“Mom!” you call out, but she doesn’t even register your voice.

“Fuck you, Fred! Fuck you!” she continues, so you raise your voice a little more.

“Mom!” This time she finally hears it and turning around she looks at you with wide eyes.

“Y/N! What are you doing here? You didn’t say you were coming,” she adds, her voice soft and weak this time, the anger long gone from it.

“I’m here to pick Trevor up. Put dad on speaker, I want to have a word with you two,” you tell her firmly and she gulps hard, nodding as she sets the phone to the counter, putting your dad on speaker.

“Y/N? What’s going on?” you hear him question from the other end of the line.

“I could ask the same thing!” you snap back, fed up with the way they have been acting. They might have lost a good chunk of their youth because they were busy taking care of you after having at just nineteen, but that doesn’t give them the right to act like literal cavemen in front of your brother.

“Trevor called me all upset, begging me to come and get him. What is wrong with you two? You have been at each other’s throats all the damn time, it is not healthy not just for Trevor but to either of you!”

“Y/N, sweetie, there’s just a lot going on—“ your mother tries to explain, but you cut her off.

“I don’t fucking care! Whatever is going on between the two of you, Trevor should be first! No matter what! He needs you both, he needs the support and love, but he is only getting the screaming and fighting. This is not right!”

“It’s a hard situation, you have to be patient with us, Y/N,” your father sighs over the phone and you can’t hold your ironic laughter back.

“Patient? I’ve been patient with you these past about five months since you’ve been literally tearing each other to pieces. Do yourselves and everyone else a favor and just get it over with. Dad, pick up all your stuff and don’t come here for mom’s sake. Mom, don’t snoop around dad’s life, because it’s not your business anymore. Stop being ignorant and maybe start to think about the kid you still have living near you.”

Your words might have been harsh, but it needed to be said. You can tell by your mother’s shocked expression and from the way your dad is dead silent in the call that your message finally hit them in the head and you hope they are willing to get their shit together so Trevor doesn’t lose his mind.

“Trevor is staying with me tonight, we’ll see when he wants to come back, but you better think about what I just told you,” you warn them before walking out and leaving them to think about their actions finally.

Trevor stays silent on the road back to Harry’s and you don’t try to force him to talk, it’s clear he has had enough for today. Arriving back home you park your car next to Harry’s Range Rover and the two of you walk inside in silence.

It’s past Izzy’s bedtime so you’re not surprised to find only Harry in the kitchen when you walk into the house. Harry seems cautious, almost worried as he spots you and Trevor in the hallway.

“Trevor, this is my boss, Harry. Harry, this is my brother, Trevor,” you introduce them to each other quickly. They shake hands with a manly nod.

“Thanks for letting me stay here tonight,” Trevor clears his throat, feeling a little out of place.

“No worries. Feel free to use any of the guest bedrooms,” Harry smiles softly.

“Oh, we’ll be fine sleeping in my room,” you assure him but Harry shakes his head at your words.

“We have plenty of space. Please, use them!”

“Thank you,” Trevor mumbles and you shoot Harry a thankful look before walking your brother upstairs.

You opt for the room next to yours, Help Trevor get comfortable, making sure he has everything he needs for the night.

“Did you get into a fight with mom and dad?” he asks, when you are sitting on the edge of his bed, about to leave him alone.

“I just told them to get their shit together,” you chuckle, giving his leg a squeeze under the covers. He cracks a smile at you, but it’s not as genuine as it should be. “I’ll drive you to school in the morning. My room is right next to this one, come over if you need anything, alright?”

“Thanks,” he mumbles, pulling the covers up to his chin.

“Good night, Trev,”you tell him switching the lights off and walking towards the door.

“Good night, Y/N,” he calls after you before you close the door, letting out a long breath.

As you make your way down to the kitchen you see that Harry is still there, his eyes snap up to you, filled with concern and worry.

“Everything alright?” he asks as you make yourself a tea.

“Yeah, he was just fed up with the constant screaming. I can’t blame him, my mother didn’t even realize I was there until I raised my voice at her.”

“I’m sorry about that. Must be hard dealing with high school and a nasty divorce.”

“It is,” you sigh. “But thank you for letting him stay, really.” “I meant it when I said it’s just as much your home as it is ours. He can come over anytime, don’t worry about that,” he shrugs.

“Thank you. I’ll drive him to school in the morning, but I’ll be back by the time you leave, is that alright?”

“Of course,” he smiles warmly. “You two look a lot alike.”

“We get that a lot,” you chuckle. “It’s the eyes and nose shape, I think. We got those from our mother.”

“People say I look like my sister too, but I don’t really see it, if I’m being honest,” he chuckles lightly.

“Yeah? Why?”

“No idea,” he shakes his head laughing. “I just don’t see it, but I couldn’t tell you really.”

Sipping on your tea you stay in the kitchen with Harry, the light conversation about his sister and eventually his mother eases the stress that has been gripping on your chest from the encounter you had with your parents earlier. You’re not sure if he tried to talk you through it because he saw how much you needed the distraction or if it’s just how he is, but either way, he really helped you to relax.

Cleaning after yourself the two of you head to bed, saying good night to each other before disappearing in your rooms.

“This place is like… really huge,” Trevor sighs in awe when the two of you are eating breakfast together the next morning.

“I told you, it’s a mansion,” you chuckle, digging into your oatmeal. “I’ll show you around next time you’re here.”

“T’was nice of Harry to let me stay,” he hums.

“Mhm, he is a cool boss,” you smile at him.

“And kinda handsome…” Glancing at Trevor you see the sly smirk on his lips and you give him a stern look.

“Stop right there, alright? No funny thoughts!”

“Funny thoughts?” he laughs leaning back in his seat. “I just made a statement that he is a nice looking man, that’s it. Do you not agree?”

“I’m not commenting on the topic,” you diplomatically answer.

“On what topic?” Harry appears from the stairs, making you both turn his way. “Good morning,” he smiles warmly.

“Morning!” Trevor nods his way before he turns back to you, still smirking. You narrow your eyes at him before answering Harry.

“The topic doesn’t matter. Morning, Harry!”

He pours himself some coffee that you brew earlier before joining the two of you at the dining table. He strikes up a conversation with Trevor, asking him about school and his future plans once he graduates and luckily, Trevor is on his best behavior despite the comment he made earlier, he is not trying to put you into an uncomfortable situation. He knows better, because if he upsets you now, he will not be returning to the mansion, that’s for sure.

“Alright, get your stuff, we are leaving in five,” you tell him when both of you are done eating. Nodding he disappears upstairs as you take care of the dishes quickly.

“Is he staying tonight as well?” Harry asks, following you into the kitchen.

“Oh, no. I’m sure mom wants to talk to him after last night, so it’s better if he goes home.”

“Hope things will get easier for him,” he smiles and you return it, thankful that he let him stay here when he really needed a place for himself.

“Thanks for everything, Harry” Trevor smiles at him when he arrives with his backpack.

“Of course, come back soon, but under more peaceful conditions,” he chuckles nodding in his way.

“I’ll be back soon!” you call out before walking out of the house with your brother.

“So how long have you been crushing on your boss?” Trevor asks in the car and your eyes widen as you try to keep the car straight in the lane.

“Excuse you?”

“Come on, Y/N. It’s kinda obvious, you swoon at everything the man says, haven’t seen you this soft since your high school graduation,” he chuckles, finding your reaction quite entertaining, but you’re not enjoying the situation that much.

“I do not have a crush on Harry,” you shake your head laughing, but you can’t ignore the knot in your stomach at your own words. Was this that big of a lie?

“That’s too bad because I think he has a thing for you too,” he shrugs, carelessly staring out the window, like it’s that casual to discuss you and your boss having possible feelings for each other.

“When did you become an expert on these stuff?” you huff, glancing at him shortly before turning back to face the road.

“I’m not an expert, but I’m not blind either. And I saw the way he looked at you.”

“What way?” you scoff.

“Like he is thankful you are walking this Earth.”

“Did you take this from a rom-com on Netflix?” you tease him, but he just shrugs. “Of course he is thankful, I’m helping him with his daughter. It’s not easy being a single parent and I’m helping him immensely. But there’s nothing else behind that.”

“Sure, good luck convincing yourself,” he sighs when you park the car down at his school. “Thanks for the ride and the night too. I’ll call you later.”

Leaning over the console he gives you a quick hug before hopping out of the car and walking towards the main building.

Arriving back home you find Izzy sitting on the couch with a bowl of cereal on her lap, watching her favorite morning cartoon, but no sign of Harry and for a moment you get scared you got back too late, but then you realize he wouldn’t leave Izzy home alone.

“Hey Sunshine, did you sleep well?” you ask, caressing her rosy cheek as you join her on the couch.

“Mhm, what are we doing today?” she asks, showing a spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

“You have French class today with Lyon and in the afternoon I thought we could learn about otters. You seemed to like them a lot at the zoo.”

“Yes! They are so cute!” she cheers happily just when you hear footsteps coming from the stairs. Turning around you spot Harry walking towards the living room, but your lips part immediately when you see that he is putting on another shirt, his naked chest on display since he hasn’t buttoned it fully. What you saw not long ago from your balcony is now so much closer, the swallows peeking out from under the shirt and you see the little cross pendant hanging between his pecs, something you’ve only seen if he pulled it out of his shirts which didn’t happen that often.

Harry stops in his tracks when he sees you on the couch with Izzy and a blush paints his cheeks.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Didn’t know you were back,” he breathes out, his fingers working fast on the buttons to get himself presentable again though you wish he would just get rid of the whole thing… “Izzy spilled some juice on me so I had to change quickly,” he explains, finishing with the buttons and he quickly fixes it so he looks just as spotless as always.

“You poured too much into my cup!” Izzy defends herself furrowing her eyebrows at her dad.

“Of course it was my fault, who else’s would have it been?” Harry huffs as he presses a kiss to the top of her head. “Y/N, I have something to ask you.”

“Go ahead.”

“I know it’s pretty sudden and on a very short notice but could you maybe look after Izzy tonight? Niall called me and begged to meet up with him for a few drinks. I would call Ruth, but she is out of town this week.”

“Oh sure! No problem,” you smile at him.

“Are you sure you don’t have anything to do? Don’t feel pressured to say yes, I should have asked in advance, it’s just—“ “Harry, it’s fine. I’m okay looking after her tonight,” you assure him before he talks himself down from letting you do it. “Go have fun, you barely get out of the house without Izzy.” If you’re being honest the only place he goes to without his daughter is work and it’s a little saddening, he deserves some time out from his daddy duties.

“Thank you,” he smiles at you with gratitude. “I won’t be out too long, I promise.”

“No worries, have fun with Niall,” you wave in dismiss.

“Thanks. Have a great day. Be good, baby. I’ll see you in the afternoon.” Harry kisses Izzy’s forehead before grabbing his suit jacket, wallet, keys and phone and heads out to start his day.

“Alright, daddy is off to work and we also have a day ahead of us. Come on, let’s get started,” you smile at Izzy who nods in agreement.

Harry swears he didn’t come home earlier than his usual because he feels bad for asking you to cover the evening, but you know that’s a blatant lie. He is home by three and frees you for the rest of the afternoon, leaving you with about two extra hours. He informs you that he would be leaving around seven, so dinner time will still be his duty, but you’ll have to put Izzy to bed at her usual time, which works perfectly for you.

A little before seven Harry disappears to take a quick shower and get changed before heading out, while you sit out in the living room with Izzy, reading her from a book she chose after dinner.

When Harry returns, he is dressed more casually than he usually does for work, wearing a pair of beige slacks and a black shirt tucked into it, the first three buttons left undone, showing just a hint of his tattooed chest for the viewers.

“Okay, I just called a car, it’ll be here any minute. Please call me if anything happens, I could come home anytime.”

“Harry, I take care of her all day, I’m sure we’ll be fine for one evening as well,” you chuckle, trying to ease his nervousness about leaving his daughter home at a time he is not used to.

“Right,” he lets out a soft chuckle. “Thank you again. And Izzy, be good. Y/N will put you to bed tonight, but I’ll be here in the morning, okay?”

“Okay!” she sings, completely fine with the new arrangement.

“Alright, see you soon, good night!” he calls out on his way out of the house.

Sitting at the rooftop bar, Harry and Niall take up a small table for two near the railing so they have a nice view of the city below them. The waitress brings their order, tequila on the rocks for Harry and a good pint for Niall, and the latter man can’t ignore the fact how pretty she is in her tight white shirt and short black skirt, smiling coyly at the men as she asks if they want anything else.

“We’re good for now, Darling. Thank yeh,” Niall smirks and even winks at the woman, who is seemingly enjoying the attention from him, but deep down she would be happier if it was Harry who was trying to flirt with him. However he is busy on his phone, typing out an email even at this ungodly hour, which pisses his friend off.

“Would you stop being a workaholic prick and maybe glance at the woman that wants to fuck the shit out of you?” Niall snaps at him, grabbing his attention, but he just rolls his eyes.

“That would require my interest as well, which is not there.”

“That’s fucking sad. Really, mate. How long are you going to act like a crybaby? I’m getting tired of your long face. I get it, shit happened, but you eventually have to move on.”

Harry tries to ignore his words, eyes glued to the screen of his phone hoping his friend would just drop it, but that’s not what Niall is like. So instead of leaving him to be, he grabs his phone, snaps it right out of his hands and then shoves it into his pocket.

“Hey! What the fuck?!” he growls at his friend who just gives him a hard look.

“Harry, I’m worried about you. You do nothing, just work and be with Izzy.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t spend time with my daughter?” he asks twisting his words.

“You know that’s not what I mean. Spend as much time with her as possible, but don’t forget to take care of yourself.”

“I’m taking care of myself. I sleep and eat well and I workout regularly. I don’t see what else I might need.” “Fuck. You need to fuck,” he points out, making Harry roll his eyes again.

“You know, sometimes I question why we are even friends…” Harry grumbles under his breath as he takes a sip from his drink, feeling like he definitely needs the alcohol if Niall is gonna pick on him all night.

“Because I’m the one who pushes you out of your pit of sorrow, m’friend. And right now I feel like I need to step in, because you are turning into a bitter old man.”

“I’m not bitter,” Harry narrows his eyes at him.

“And neither are you old, so why are you acting like you are?”

“Look, I know that you are a fan of the bachelor life, going to parties, sleeping around with any woman you can get, but that’s just not for me, it never was, not even a long time ago.”

“I’m not trying to get you to act like a frat boy, Har. I know you are too soft for that, but I think it might be time for you to, I don’t know, open up a bit.”

“Open up?”

“Yeah! Go out, meet new people, preferably women,” he adds with a knowing look. “It’s been more than three years, Harry. You can’t stay at home and mope around forever.”

“I really don’t think we should be having this conversation right now.”

“If not now, then when? I tried to talk to you about it many times, but you always just dodged it, so I gave you more time to adjust to the situation, but I think we are over that,” Niall sighs, leaning onto the table. “We both know time flies by. Soon Izzy will go to school, she’ll have her own little life and before you could even blink twice, she is gonna be a teenager, barely talking to you, only caring about some boyband, her friends and shows. The time will come when you’ll have to step back a little and I don’t want you to stay alone.”

“First of all, Izzy is 4 and she won’t be allowed to even think about being independent until she is twenty,” Harry starts off as Niall rolls his eyes at him.

“Yeah, sure. You’ll have an amazing time when she becomes a teenager.”

“Don’t even talk about her being a teenager.”

“It’s going to happen!” Niall snaps and Harry narrows his eyes at him. “Okay, let’s just calm down.” He takes a deep breath even though he is the only one getting mad right now. Harry might feel uncomfortable, but he is not one to lose his temper that easily. Niall on the other hand is known to be a little too passionate at times.

“Alright. Please know that I’m just trying to be a good friend. What happened is tragic and I can’t even imagine what you went through, though I was here all along so I have a slight guess. I’m happy that you are doing vehemently better now, it’s amazing, but I know that you’ll be miserable if you stay single forever.”

“I’m not gonna start dating, Niall. It’s just… too soon. I can’t get into a relationship now.” Harry shakes his head, gulping from his drink again, the alcohol burns down his throat as he grimaces shortly.

“I get it that you don’t want a relationship, but dating might not be that bad. I’m pretty sure there are some hot single moms you know who would love to go out with you for dinner or some shit.”

“I’m not interested in any of them,” he shrugs.

“Then what about Y/N?” Harry’s eyes snap up at his friend, flexing his jaw out of instinct.

“What about her?”

“She is pretty, nice and funny, completely your type. Why don’t you try it with her?”

“She works for me,” Harry replies right away.

“No one fucking cares,” Niall scoffs. “And because you didn’t say that you don’t like her, I assume you are into her.”

Harry lets out a heavy sighs shaking his head. You’ve not been the only one who’s been noticing the other. Ever since he has caught you watching him while doing his morning yoga, he couldn’t shake the thought of you and he took a special notice about a lot of things about you. Like the way you scrunch your nose every time you smile when Izzy says a word wrong, or the way you like to put up your hair into a ponytail when you’re playing with her in the backyard and there’s always a tiny strand that hangs lose at the back of your neck because it’s too short to reach up to the ponytail, but his favorite thing is how your voice is a little hoarse in the morning when you come down for the first time from upstairs. The thought that he is always the first person you talk to in the morning just brings this pleasant feeling into the pit of his stomach, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

He can’t deny that he finds you beautiful either, how could he not? You’re just a wonderful person inside and out and he is thankful his daughter is in such good hands when he is away at work. But he hasn’t dared to think further than this, his mind just doesn’t let him, however Niall’s words are now poking at the sleeping giant.

“Stop assuming things,” Harry mumbles, looking away from his friend, feeling like he is being grilled.

“Stop denying things,” Niall retorts, earning a huff from Harry. “Okay, don’t ask her out just yet, but try to get closer to her. Become friends, try to open up and get to know her a little more!”

“I don’t want to get closer to her!” he replies, but he can easily point out how big of a lie that is, even though he is trying his best to make himself believe that it’s not.

“So you don’t have a crush on her?” Niall raises his eyebrows at him.

“Where are we, in middle school? I’m 31, I don’t have crushes,” Harry scoffs.

“Okay so then you don’t mind it if I ask her out?”

“You are not asking her out, Niall,” he sternly replies, reaching for his drink once again, that’s nearing its end very closely. He needs to order another one if Niall decides to be an asshole all night.

“Why not? He seemed to like me when we met, I think we both would have a nice evening, might even take her home—“

“Shut up, Niall. You are not going out with her!”

“Really? What’s stopping me?” he smirks, knowing well what he is doing and where this is heading. Harry opens his mouth, but then no words come out, because he realizes what he wanted to say should not be said out loud.

Because I like her, a tiny voice tells him in his mind. Niall’s smirk grows even bigger, because even though Harry didn’t answer, his face tells it all, confirming what he has been trying to force out of him all evening.

“Yeah, just as I thought,” he laughs, taking a few gulps from his beer. “I’m not telling you to fuck her brains out immediately, but it might be nice if you just got to know her a bit more. And if things seem to take, like… a turn, if you know what I mean, don’t chicken out, just go with it.”

“You know, Niall, you should worry about your own love life the way you worry about mine.”

“There’s nothing to worry about!” He beams, clearly without a worry. “I’m too good of a catch to be tied down, so I’m enjoying life to the fullest right now.”

“Aren’t you tired of waking up next to a different woman every morning?” Harry sighs, feeling exhausted just to think about the way his friend lives.

“Don’t judge for something you never tried. I like it, it fulfills all my needs, why should I change?”

“Because you worry about me ending up alone when it’s most likely gonna be you.” Harry gives him a look, but it doesn’t seem to affect him. He shrugs it off easily.

“Difference is that I like being alone, but you don’t. You are wired to have a partner in the long run while I’m perfectly fine with my adventures. So do me a favor, and be less of a little hermit. You’ll thank me later.”

Niall’s words stick to Harry’s head more than he would have liked it. The two friends stay at the bar until about midnight and while Harry leaves to go straight home, Niall heads to another direction with the pretty waitress on his arm, who served their drinks relentlessly all night.

Arriving back home Harry tips the driver generously before heading inside, seeing that you’re still up, the lights in the living room and the TV illuminating the area. Walking further inside he spots you cozied up on the couch, a thick blanket thrown over yourself as you watch some kind of detective documentary, chewing on your bottom lip in focus. He can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips at the sight of you, taking just a split second to savor the moment and wrap it up in his mind.

“Hey, why are you still up?” he questions walking inside. Your eyes tear away from the screen, blinking up at him as you smile slightly, pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Rounding the couch Harry joins you, sitting down as he runs a hand through his hair.

“Got caught up a little,” you chuckle, nodding your head towards the TV. “Did you have a good time?”

“As much as it’s possible to have a good time with Niall around,” he chuckles, making you smile.

“He is not that bad, is he?”

“He can be a little asshole sometimes,” he admits. “But it was fine, we had a nice… talk.”

“I’m glad,” you smile sheepishly, before turning back to the TV.

Harry’s eyes snap to the screen as well, but he is not following the case at all, his mind is busy thinking about everything Niall has told him.

It really has been three long and torturous years without his beloved wife and just as Niall said, the beginning of this time was almost lethal. He never thought there would be a day when he would wake up and not feel like curling up into a ball and just cry all day. Those times are now gone, because with a lot of help from his friends, family and even a therapist, he was able to find his purpose in life again: his daughter.

Harry knows that his friend is right, he can’t live his life on his own, that’s just not how he is built, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Especially with the haunting thoughts he has been harboring, kept away from everyone in his life, because he has always been too afraid to say them out loud. That would make them become even realer than they already feel to him.

Sitting on the couch next to Harry you glance at him for a second and can almost see the gears turning in his head.

“Everything alright?” you softly ask. His green eyes flicker over to you, as if he is debating whether he should talk or not.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Of course,” you nod.

“But it’s kind of personal.”

“Okay, then ask and I’ll decide if I want to answer or not,” you chuckle softly, pushing yourself up a little so you can focus on him better.

“After things ended with your… ex, when you found out that he was cheating on you… How long did it take you to get back out to the field, if you know what I mean.”

His question surprises you, it really is a personal matter and you’re not sure why he felt the need to ask you about it especially now, but you have a guess why it’s relatable for him. You lost someone you loved and though the situation is a very different nature, somehow it’s still similar in a way.

“Well, I told you earlier that it was the kind of situation where I blamed myself for what he did,” you start off and Harry nods, patiently and curiously listening to what you are saying. “I was convinced that he cheated because I wasn’t enough, because I didn’t give him everything he wanted and that it was all my fault. It took me weeks to see clearly and realize that even if I wasn’t giving him everything, it wouldn’t have given him the right to cheat on me. Sometimes it’s really hard to lift the blame off yourself, especially when you were the one putting it there.”

Harry’s lips part at your words and because he is not speaking, you’re not sure if it’s the good or bad kind. You really wish you could just read his honest thoughts, but it seems like he is keeping them to himself so you continue.

“I think it took me a good, like… four months to actually move on. I went on a date for the first time about six months after Keith and I broke up. I’m not saying I’m over the fact that I was cheated on, but it’s not stopping me anymore to live my life. I had to accept that just because of what happened, I still deserve happiness and to be loved.”

Love is a beautiful thing, but it’s very powerful and you learned it the hard way. To love and be loved is essential, love makes life so much better and more special, but it can also scar you terribly and leave you dried out and in pain. You have to learn to accept the love you get and remember it whenever you are not getting enough. It’s a rollercoaster, but the highs make the whole ride worth it.

Harry stays silent as you turn your attention back at the TV, seeing that he is busy chewing on your words. Whatever his reason was to ask you, he is clearly processing the answer he got, making his own conclusions and you wouldn’t want to bother him while he does that.

The documentary soon ends and you realize how late it really is. Saturday is your day off, but you don’t want to sleep through the whole thing, you have a few errands to run. So switching the TV off you fold the blanket and drop it into the basket next to the couch. Harry snaps out of his thoughts when you stand up from the couch, realizing that you’ve shut the TV off already.

“I’m going to bed, you should too,” you smile at him softly as he nods, standing up as well.

You’re already on the stairs when Harry calls out after you. Turning around you keep one foot on the next step, glancing over at him, still standing by the couch.

“I’m… I’m really sorry he couldn’t appreciate you.”

You smile at him warmly, because it says so much about him as a person. Apologizing for something he had absolutely no control over, something someone else did, someone he doesn’t even know. Yet he still felt the need to say sorry.

“It’s alright. I’ll find the person who’ll give me the love I deserve,” you tell him before turning back around and walking away.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

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[drarrily-we-row-along]

Day 41: Embrace

"Potter," Malfoy greeted with a nod, walking past him as though Harry wasn't the host of the baby shower and going straight over to Hermione. Harry watched as he greeted her with a warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek before taking a step back and putting his hands on her swollen belly. "I still think that you should name her after a constellation."

"We don't even know that it's a her," Hermione laughed.

Ron wandered over and Malfoy rested his hand on his shoulder for a moment as he said, "It's a her. I have a sixth sense about this sort of thing," he added with a wink.

"We're still not naming her after a constellation," Ron said. "How pretentious do you think we-"

Luna coming through the door interrupted him watching Malfoy cozying up to his two best friends. "Oh, hello, Harry," she said, before tilting her head in that peculiar way of hers, "I see you're being plagued by the jimmiricks."

"Sorry, the what?" he asked politely.

"Jimmiricks," she repeated, "They've pronounced all of those feelings of longing and rejection," he said, patting his arm conciliatorily and flouncing away before giving him a chance to respond.

"I haven't got feelings of longing and rejection!" he called after her, ignoring the weird look that one of the women who worked in the justice department with Hermione sent his way.

It was a lie. He knew it and Luna probably did, too, thanks to whatever wacky little creature she could see. He'd be way more inclined to believe that she was nuts if she wasn't always right.

He turned, his eyes immediately seeking out that shock of blond hair, frowning as he watched as Malfoy laughed at something Ginny said, resting his hand lightly on her forearm. Luna slipped up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist and he smiled, clasping his hand over her arms and looking over his shoulder at her.

And it wasn't that Harry felt like Malfoy rejected him outright, it was just that he was the only person Malfoy wouldn't touch.

(Read more below the cut)

They'd all been friends for five years and the most willing contact that Harry had ever received was a stiff handshake toward the beginning when Malfoy and Ron had become auror partners and then friends.

He hadn't really noticed at first but Harry had watched him, as he was wont to do, and the fact of the matter was that Malfoy was always touching someone but that someone was never Harry.

"Thanks so much for this, Harry," Hermione said, distracting him from his increasingly circular thoughts.

"Of course!" he replied, shoving his thoughts back into the dark corner they'd emerged from. "I'm happy to," he added. "Ready to start the shower games?"

-------

Shower games went as well as shower games can go, really, until they got to the diaper derby.

"So, let's partner up," Harry called, "Then when I say go, one partner uses the roll of toilet paper to make a diaper on the other. Ron and Hermione are obviously the judges." He waved his arms, "go find a partner."

It took a few minutes but eventually it became clear that there was an odd number of people. Malfoy was left standing somewhat awkwardly without a partner.

"Errm," Harry said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Do you want to, um, you know?"

Malfoy smirked at him, "I would like to um, you know."

"Shut up," Harry replied without any heat, feeling embarrassed and awkward and why had he thought this game was a good idea? "Umm," he said, "you have two minutes, begin."

"Right," Malfoy said when Harry turned to face him, "I have a better fashion sense than you, so you are wearing the diaper."

Before Harry could protest, Malfoy was holding the roll of toilet paper to Harry's waist and Harry froze.

Malfoy was touching him. Willingly. And sure, it was for the purpose of a game, but still, he could have just insisted on sitting out.

"Relax," Malfoy huffed, "I won't bite."

"Right," Harry said, not relaxing one bit. Malfoy was touching him rather intimately, all things considered, it was better to keep himself still and focused lest he embarrass himself any further.

"Right," Malfoy repeated, sounding resigned and disappointed, and Harry didn't quite know what to do with that.

The two minutes seemed to somehow last for an eternity and end in the blink of an eye. Harry could scarcely pay attention to the judging. They didn't win but they didn't lose either, and as Harry was about to turn and congratulate Malfoy, Luna floated over to them and said, "oh, Draco, I see that Harry's jimmiricks have infested you as well."

Harry's head whipped to look over at the other man.

"Jimmiricks?" he asked.

"They amplify feelings of longing and rejection," Harry murmured.

Malfoy's mouth popped open and he looked like he might have replied but Ron interrupted, clapping them both on the back and congratulating them.

"Excuse me for a minute," Malfoy muttered before disappearing.

"What did you do?" Ron asked.

"Me?!" Harry asked incredulously.

Ron rolled his eyes, "Spill."

"It's not me!" Harry protested. "Malfoy's the one with the problem with touching me."

Ron's eyes widened, and if it's weren't for the nature of this conversation, Harry would have found it comical. "That is a lot of information-"

"Not like that!" He ran his hands through his hair, "He just is always casually touching everyone except me."

"And why do you think that is, mate?" he asked.

He shook his head, "Because he hates me. Because I spent too long antagonizing him and now-"

"That's not it," Ron interrupted him. "Just go and talk to him," he said, nudging Harry toward the balcony window that Malfoy had escaped through.

Steeling himself, Harry made his way out onto the balcony. "Hey," he said awkwardly as he stepped outside.

"Don't," Malfoy said without looking at him, "just leave it. Luna's just-"

"Yeah," Harry said, stepping up and leaning on the railing next to the other man. "It would be easy to think that she's just a little bit unhinged except that-"

"She's always right," Malfoy finished with a sigh.

"You touch everyone except me," Harry said, the words rushing out without his permission. "All the time, you are like a super tactile individual. Except when it's me. That's what my jimmricks are about."

He scoffed, "Well, I wouldn't want to soil your perfect, savior image."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Malfoy said, "Just that you've made it quite clear that you don't want me to touch you."

"What? How?"

Malfoy turned and glared at him, his silver eyes flashing, "What is this, Potter? You know damn well that you stiffen up every time I am near you. I see you with your friends, with literally everyone else, but whenever I am around you're quiet and you're always watching me. And then there was whatever the hell that was in there. Your body language is anything but inviting."

"Wait," Harry said, "you've got this all wrong-"

"Then explain it to me!" Draco hissed, "because it's exhausting being attracted to someone who hates you and spending every second that you are in their presence wishing that the earth would just swallow you whole so that you don't have to see their disdain for you."

"It's not disdain," Harry murmured, reaching out and touching Draco's hand, his fingers brushing lightly against Draco's. "It is literally anything but disdain for you. I spend every moment of the time we spend in close proximity to one another wishing that I was anyone but me."

"What?"

Harry shook his head, "Draco I am dying for you to touch me. Not in like a creepy way," he hastened to add. Then, "Not that I'd be opposed to like-" he broke off, rubbing a hand over his mouth. "Suffice it to say, I am attracted to you, too. And very unopposed to you touching me."

The corner of Draco's lips twitched, "So, you don't hate me?"

"Godric, no," Harry said, huffing a laugh. "I thought you hated me."

Draco bit his lower lip and shook his head slowly.

"So, would you maybe like to go out sometime?" Harry asked.

"Yes, he would," Ron said from the doorway to the balcony, startling them both. "Sorry to interrupt, but 'Mione couldn't find the spinner for the next game."

"Right," Harry said, just remembering that they were in the middle of a baby shower for his future god child. "Right, sorry," he said, "I'll be right in."

Ron nodded and disappeared back inside.

"Sorry," Harry said.

Draco shook his head, "Don't be." He leaned forward and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to the corner of Harry's mouth. "Yes, I would like to go out sometime."

"How's tonight?" Harry breathed.

Draco smiled at him, "The works for me," he said, then he added, eyes twinkling with mischief, "Maybe I can show you just how much I have been wanting to touch you, too."

----------

Day 40: Hesitant | Day 42: Sensitive

[insaneoldme]

Can you rec buddie fics? Pretty please?

OMG it's my time to shine, bitches!!!

Sorry if I went a little nuts, but this fandom has some of the best writers I've ever seen. I have 186 Buddie fics bookmarked in my AO3,

I'll link here if you are interested in taking a look cause if I put them all here it would be too long. Also, I tried to show here some fics I very rarely see recced, and a little bit o the classics. This fandom has some very underrated authors, everyone in my bookmarks is worth taking a look really.

Please take a look at the warnings before reading, enjoy!!!

I Hate Accidents (Except When We Went From Friends to This) by morganofthefairies (Rated E )

Buck and Eddie had always been unconventional. Neither of them gave it much thought – they were just them. Buck and Eddie - partners, best friends, co-parents – just as entangled in each other’s lives as any actual couple in the 118.

Or, the story of how Buck and Eddie went about their relationship in entirely the wrong order.

My Heart's Been Borrowed by ElvenSorceress (Rated E)

aka the one where Taylor gives Buck his ultimate fantasy and uncovers far more than either of them expected, forcing him to confront his long held feelings for Eddie

Half Awake in Our Fake Empire by HMSLusitania (Rated E)

Buck 1.0 fathered a child and Buck 4.0 comes into custody.

Love and Bullets Both Shatter Hearts (But Only One Can Put You Back Together) (Rated E)

Agent [Redacted] Diaz is the best at what he does. Usually. But lately there's this real pain in the ass* who's been ruining his missions: Code Name "Buck."

Keep It On by R_E_R6 (Rated E)

When Eddie walks in on Buck, bent over in nothing but a hoodie, their plans for the night immediately change. Buck's outfit though? Well, Eddie requests that it stays the same...for reasons.

Heart of Flowers / Heart of Gold by ElvenSorceress (Rated T)

Buck nearly loses everything and Eddie has to follow his heart

hungry for your love by evcndiaz (Rated G)

prompt: "who’s gonna write a fanfic where chris is not cooperating with buck and eddie accidentally says “listen to your dad”?"

or; breadsticks are a metaphor for love and boning

keep your eyes on the road by iriswests (Rated M)

A glimpse into buck and eddie’s developing relationship, told through ten moments stopped at a traffic light

when things fall into place by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Eddie asks Buck to move in with them during lockdown to help look after Christopher, which leads to certain unresolved feelings being resolved.

Carbon Date Me, Excavate Me by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

Evan "Buck" Buckley has made a name for himself as the independent bad boy of archaeology. At least, until Professor Eddie Diaz shows up with his fedora and good looks and starts beating Buck to the punch more often than not.

Buck hates his stupid six-pack covered guts.

Except for how... he might not.

Objects in the Mirror by SevenSoulmates (Rated E)

The voice had always been around, Eddie remembers it, like a stream of consciousness that babbled incoherently to the point where Eddie just tuned it out.

But then the voice started speaking directly to him. Conversing like he was a whole person standing right in front of him. Like he could see what was happening around Eddie.

Eddie shook his head. No one was talking to him, and Eddie most certainly was not talking back.

He wouldn’t talk to the boy in his head ever again. There was no boy in his head.

ripples all the way down by iriswests (Rated M)

christopher partakes in some parent trapping

dream of some epiphany by extasiswings (Rated M)

Evan Buckley is lost.

It’s happenstance that he wanders into the navy recruiting center—he’s been in San Diego for a few weeks, bartending late nights and weekends, living in a house with three other guys not because he needs the roommates but because he doesn’t want to be alone, and the military is…respectable. Stable. So Buck thinks maybe and opens the door.

Buck leaves ten minutes later with a set of printed instructions for sending his first letter, assured that he can drop it off whenever he’s ready, and a name.

Staff Sergeant Edmundo “Eddie” Diaz.

Relationship Advice from Complete Strangers Online by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Hi, I’ve never made a Reddit post before and I’m not 100% sure what I’m doing but I need advice and can’t ask anyone in my real life. So, I [30M] have this best friend [34M]…

Leading with the Left by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck said he was a "bartender" in "South America" what he actually meant was "stripper" in "Mexico."

And when Eddie said, "What's your problem?" what he actually meant was, "Is this about the time you gave me a lap dance?"

In other words, there's a few things the 118 doesn't know about Buck. Or Eddie. Or Buck and Eddie's relationship.

fireflies where my caution should be by littlesnowpea (Rated M)

“You never talk about your parents,” Eddie says, which is not even remotely what Buck expects Eddie to say. He frowns, tilts his head, but it isn’t a question, as evidenced by Eddie charging on. “I never asked because I figured it was your business, but the look on your face any time they’re brought up tells me you don’t get along.”

Buck swallows hard, against a lump in his throat. His parents? Eddie’s right, he never talks about them, for good reason. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, not sure what he’s even going to say.

Eddie takes it as the answer Buck is trying to make it out to be. He squeezes Buck’s wrist again, takes a deep breath, like he’s on a call with someone who’s panicking. Buck finds his breathing slowing to match Eddie’s, and Eddie nods as Buck gets it under control.

“There are people on the porch,” Eddie says, voice even. “Saying they want to meet their grandchild.”

Asked, Offered, Given, (He's) Taken by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

People like to flirt with Buck on calls. It kind of makes Buck uncomfortable.

And that makes Eddie frustrated.

I Hit the Accelerator (But the Car was in Reverse) by extasiswings, letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (Rated E)

When Buck is forced to confront the truth about his breakup with Abby, having casual sex with his hot new coworker seems like the best rebound idea.

Unfortunately, that hot new coworker turns into his best friend. But best friends can keep having sex with each other, right?

There's no way this could possibly go wrong.

Memorable by JessicaMDawn (Rated T)

Six times Buck got recognized by people he saved during the tsunami, and how his team realized he was a hero.

All Bets are Off by NobodyKnows_U (Not Rated)

Or, the five times the firefam realized Buck and Eddie were in love, and the one-time Eddie finally did something about it.

fire on fire by extasiswings (Rated T)

Or: Buck and Eddie get in the habit of sharing a bed while living together during quarantine. It's platonic until it isn't.

Better Together by Randomfandombloggs09 (Not Rated)

5 times Eddie sees Buck wearing his last name and 1 time its not just his

Daddy and Pops by EdithBlake (Rated M)

When Christopher calls Buck 'Pops' things get a bit confusing. Buck and Eddie have a talk with Christopher that ends up with both of them being even more confused by how right it sounds.

the meaning of the words you see by florenceandthemachine (Rated E)

unknown sender: Hi!

unknown sender: Just wanted to say thanks for letting me buy you a drink, and for your number. Sorry I had to run.

unknown sender: I’m Eddie by the way.

sent: hey um

sent: i don’t want 2 be this guy but

sent: i think u mayb put the wrong # in ur phone

the dream you wish will come true by woodchoc_magnum (Rated M)

In which Christopher Diaz cannot understand why his father would want to date his former teacher when Evan Buckley is right there.

vienna waits for you by mottainai (Not Rated)

Eddie doesn't deserve a soulmate.

Work Husband by hideeho (Rated T)

“What...what have you done with Buck?” Eddie is going to kill him for messing with his phone. No, that’s too extreme. He’s going to maim him. Just a little.

“Check under H,” Chim offers helpfully, shooting a look over to Hen with a smirk.

Why the hell would he be under—

Then he sees it.

Husband.

Bad Neighbors by firstdegreefangirl (Rated E)

Eddie's new neighbors are keeping him up all night. He calls on his best friend for a little taste of their own medicine.

Cross the Line by Sirencalls (Rated E)

Eddie laughs, short and quiet and almost to himself. “No. If you want to learn, then I’m gonna be the one to teach you.”

Buck is pretty sure his brain stops working. “What? Why?”

Eddie turns to look at him and steps closer, their chests only a few inches apart. “Because there are people out there who will take advantage of how naïve you are. They’ll hurt you, and I won’t.” Eddie’s eyes are so intense that Buck doesn’t have any choice but to believe him. “If you want someone to do this for you, to—to dominate you, it has to be me. I don’t trust anyone else to do it right.”

pretty in pink by dykeevans (Rated E)

Buck forgets that he and Eddie made plans to hang out until Eddie shows up and Buck's in the middle of laundry day.

His laundry day outfit consists of a small pink crop top and grey sweatpants.

Eddie loses his damn mind. Me too, though, me too.

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies (Rated G)

“Didn’t know you were seeing someone.”

Buck just laughs. Like, honest to god giggles. Eddie is stuck fighting off doubly massive waves of butterflies and confusion, all while Buck just gazes down at him.

“That’s cute,” he hears Buck mumble, just before climbing into the truck, calling Eddie after him.

-or, everyone knows eddie is dating buck except for eddie, literally.

Something Old, Something New by dumbhuman (Rated E)

“Damn, I love weddings!” Buck’s face lit up as he closed the door.

If asked later, Eddie wouldn’t have been able to explain what came over him in that moment to make him ask the question. Or, at least, he wouldn’t have wanted to explain. The exhaustion was an easy excuse, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t a real one.

“Why don’t you come with me?”

one of the few things by thatnerdemryn (Rated G)

five times that Eddie tells someone else that Buck is Christopher's legal guardian plus one time he finally tells Buck.

I Didn't Know I Was Lonely 'Til I Saw Your Face by HMSLusitania (Rated T)

Total strangers Buck and Eddie go to couple's therapy together to get out of the therapy requirements their captains have placed on them.

things we shouldn't do by Ingu (Rated T)

“Why is everybody taking my relationship status so personally? Can’t I be fine with being single?” Buck said.

“Hey, you don’t have to say yes, be sad and alone if that’s what you want,” Josh replied. “But, I’m just saying. I’ve seen photos and this guy is volcanic levels of hot. Also, single dad, super cute kid. Saves lives for a living like you. I think you should give it a go.”

(the one where Buck and Eddie accidentally get set up on a blind date with each other, and everything snowballs from there)

Keeping It In The Family by Wolves_of_Innistrad (Rated T)

A young man shows up at the firehouse looking for Buck. Turns out Javier was a Bartender with Buck in Mexico. He’s back in LA, looking to reconnect and very flirty. Cue Eddie realizing Buck is not as straight as he thought.

kiss me (like your ex is in the room) by rebeccaofsbfarm (Rated E)

Eddie Diaz gets drunk and protective and signs up for a fake double date to get back at his friend's ex.

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania (Rated M)

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is… missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home

All my Buddie AO3 bookmarks

As I said this fandom has some very talented people, some of my favorite Authors's Tumblrs below, I recommend all the things they wrote and their blogs are very good.

@elvensorceress, @hmslusitania, @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels, @extasiswings

For gifs:

@arrenemris, @skylessnights (very lovely AU gifsets)

@from-nova(good gifs & content)

For Podfics: @mistmarauder everything she ever read is amazing, her podfics are high quality and she has a very lovely voice and her presence calms me down lol I recommend it

I'm sorry there are a lot more people but I'm kinda in a rush haha most of the people I follow are amazing, but the ones I mentioned here are enough to get you started or entertained for a while.

Buddie fics are amazing, this pairing has spoiled me so much, everyone I met because of it is nice and so active and talented.

Sorry mutuals if I forgot someone! 

I hope I helped Anon, have fun!

(Tell me if any link is wrong please, thanks)

[petersshirts]

Too Long | bucky barnes

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: you and Bucky have grown close over the last year, but when he disappears, you really start to worry

warnings: none, pure fluff!

words: 1,9 k

A/N: um, I’m back?? tfatws inspired me for this, and I hope you like it! it’s been some time since I wrote something, so feedback would be greatly appreciated!!

6:00 a.m.

the loud ringing from your alarm woke you and you slowly blinked, trying to figure out where you were and what was going on. after a few seconds, the realisation hit you that it was a normal work day and it was time to get ready for work. you groaned and slowly stood up to make your way to the bathroom.

it was still dark outside but you could hear the sirens on the street - new york city never slept. just like you for the last week. in the kitchen, you made yourself a big cup of coffee to survive the day. for the last few days, nightmares hunted you. and you knew exactly why.

for the next thirty minutes, you quietly got yourself ready and finally walked out of the door of your apartment, trying to ignore the door that you passed on your way downstairs. but the pain in your heart and the name in your head couldn’t just make you forget.

Bucky.

your neighbour, who was just a stranger when he arrived a year ago. but over time, you got to know the quiet man who sent you smiles that made your stomach churn. whenever he laughed, it felt like you just won an Oscar. his laugh felt like music to your ears and made you happy because you had made him happy.

you had never really thought about more than a casual friendship between bucky and you when he had suddenly disappeared a week ago, everything changed. you were worried sick because you knew his history as the winter soldier, and even though he had assured you many times that he was fine and he wouldn’t fall back into his old pattern, you still worried. not really because you were worried for the people around you, but because of him.

you knew that bucky hated to talk about his time as the winter soldier and the way he found his way out. to talk about steve. you had never met captain america but when he disappeared to find another, happier life, bucky was broken. he couldn’t understand why his best friend had left him behind, all alone to himself. at this point, bucky had been mentally stable due to his time in Wakanda, but it still gave him nightmares every night.

and you were the one to stop them. whenever he had a nightmare, he came to your apartment with the key you gave him for emergencies. he slipped right next to you in bed, enjoying your presence more than he would admit. on your part, you were just happy that he trusted you that much to show his vulnerability.

but there was never more than that. and you actually never thought that there was more than that, until he was gone. last tuesday, you knocked on his door for your weekly movie night, but there was no answer. you started to panic, because it was very rare that bucky was not home. maybe he went out, but since he didn’t have any friends other than the old guy he had met on the street, you doubted that.

you called him twenty times, but there was no answer. the panic was rising in your chest, your mind already imaging every single way he could have been hurt or compromised. you got the spare key from your apartment, but when you entered his place, there was no bucky. everything looked just like it always did, a few clothes on the chairs and sofa, but nothing out of the ordinary. there was nobody you could go to to ask for help. so you just went back home, hoping that he would just knock on your door with a smile on his face, saying sorry that he’s late because he went to the supermarket to get some snacks for movie night.

but he didn’t come. every day, you knocked on his door, called him but no answer. it was slowly driving you nuts and you were missing him like crazy. and by crazy you mean not just like a friend. you realised the change quite quickly because the longing in your chest was nothing you had ever felt before. it felt like you were missing a part of yourself and everywhere you looked, you saw him.

bucky was everywhere. in your ruffled up sheets, the musky scent still clinging to your pillow because you refused to wash them and get rid of his smell completely. his sunglasses on your table or the extra blanket you had bought for him for the sofa so he wouldn’t be cold. he had only chuckled at that and pressed a small kiss on your forehead, mumbling a small thank you.

now, a week later, you felt completely hopeless. you didn’t know why he at least called you, this wasn’t a good sign at all. you cared for bucks so much, it frightened you. never before had you had this feeling with a boyfriend for two years, never had you felt so desperate to have him back in your arms.

on your way to your office, you tried to ignore all the horrible thoughts in your head, but it was quite impossible. bucky was everything to you. there. you admitted it. I am in love with bucky barnes.

and you could never tell him. you could never say to him that he was so special to you, that you wanted him in your apartment full time, you wanted to get him your own towels and a workspace. tears started rolling down your cheeks, a sharp pain filling your heart. you had no idea how you should handle this situation.

for the whole day at work, you tried to smile and talk to your co-workers, trying to ignore the horrible feeling in your heart, it felt like bucky himself had stabbed you. when it was finally 4 pm and time to go home, you wandered through the streets, trying to take as much time to go home as possible. because there was nobody waiting for you anymore. you bought yourself some food at your favourite deli and finally opened the door to your apartment complex, your eyes fixed on the floor.

you completely ignored the door you had knocked on so many times and made your way to your place, fumbling with your keys but before you could open the for yourself, it was opened from the inside. you looked into two familiar blue eyes and your heart stopped for a second. you just stared at bucky, not knowing to react.

„you - you’re alive!“ and in the next moment, you fell into his arms pulling him close to make sure that this was not a dream. that he was really here. bucky just chuckled and stroked your hair, smelling the familiar scent of coconut that had slowly but surely become his home. suddenly you pulled away, and checked his face for any injuries but exhaled after a short time because you didn’t see any injuries.

„where have you been? I was worried sick!“ you closed the apartment door behind you, trying to fight the urge to just take one more step and press his lips to yours. bucky stared at the ground, trying to find a good explanation for his sudden disappearance. everything just went so fast when sam called him with the super-soldier serum, he completely forgot about leaving you a message or even call you. but the 104-year-old man forgot his phone at his apartment and since he didn’t remember your phone number, there was just no way to call you. even if that was the only thing he wanted to do. to hear your voice, telling him everything was okay. that he would come home, come back to you.

„I’m so sorry love, but Sam called me to help him with a mission last week. I left in a hurry and left my phone at home. we went to Europe so there was no way to reach you.“ Bucky looked at you, hoping that you would forgive him. he knew he was an idiot to just leave unexpected, but he had also thought that you were just friends. but for the last week, the way he had thought about you changed. he didn’t want to be just friends.

you just grumbled something and walked past him, trying to sort out your thoughts. you were really happy that he was back and safe but also didn’t know how to act around him anymore. it felt like there was some tension in the room that never been here before.

bucky watched while you paced through the living room, a worried look on his face. he just wanted to hold you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and enjoy your presence. he never wanted to leave your side again, to protect you from all the bad things in this world.

„what’s going on?“ bucky’s voice ripped you out of your thoughts and you looked up, bucky still a few meters away from you. you just sighed. there was no way you could tell him how you felt. he would never feel the same way and just look at you weirdly. you were just friends.

„it’s nothing.“ you mumbled, but bucky knew that it was not just nothing. he stepped forward, now only a few centimetres in front of your face. you sucked in your breath because he had never been that close to you. his blue eyes were watching you, trying to understand your body language. your eyes wandered to his lips and you quickly averted them back to his eyes, but bucky had seen it. a small smile wandered on his lips and he slowly put his hand on your waist, pulling you even closer.

your eyes went wide but before you could say anything, his lips landed on yours. in shock, you opened your mouth and bucks lips entered your mouth, his eyes closed in pleasure.

this is happening. this is really happening.

you closed your eyes in pleasure, a little moan escaping your mouth. bucks heart jumped at that sound, knowing that he had done something right. that he wasn’t the only one feeling this way. after a few minutes of kissing, he slowly pulled away, a glint in his eyes. you could only smile at him and kissed his chin, a small giggle escaping your lips.

„if you haven’t noticed, I’m crazy about you.“ bucky mumbled, his fingers wandering over your mouth, your nose, your brows. he watched you with fascination and the butterflies erupted in your stomach, a warm feeling settling in your gut. you kissed his fingers lovingly, your eyes shining just as much as his.

„and if you haven’t noticed, I’m in love with you.“ at these words, bucky couldn’t stop smiling at you. this was real. you liked him back. no, you loved him back, this broken man with all his flaws.

„Really?“ his voice was only a whisper now, his eyes searching for the truth in your own. you just grinned even more and nodded. „yes, you dork. but don’t you run away like that again, you scared me so much!“

„Never again.“

Bucky engulfed you in a hug and you just stood there together, enjoying each others presence, the both of you not believing their own luck.

It had been too long since there had been that much love in your lives. And it would never change, just get bigger and better over time.

Feedback is appreciated!!

Taglist:

@ive-got-more-wit // @lou-la-lou // @loxbbg // @seanna313 // @underoos-shield // @supernatural-strangerthings-1980@ixchel-9275 // @thejourneyneverendsx // @sideeffectsofyou // @teenwolfbitches2 // @mywinterwolf // @alex—awesome—22 // @wronglanemendes // @tomshufflepuff // @awkwardfangirl2014 // @embrace-themagic // @ophcelia // @xxtomxo // @undiadeestos // @peterpumpkinparker // @twilightparker // @h-osterfield // @suncityparker // @holland-peters // @fratboievans // @spiderrrling // @revengingbarnes // @hollandroos // @naturallytom // @tomhollandd // @parkerpeterparker2004

[messedupfan]

I'm With You (Female Reader) Chapter 6

Summary: The Avengers lose faith in themselves as they struggle to find Y/n. Meanwhile, she makes an unlikely friend.

A/N: How are you doing today?

Masterlist | Taglist | All Chapters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, if you would just give in they wouldn’t be so hard on you,” Wanda says as she cleans Y/n’s latest wounds. Strucker officially made this her daily chore. When she failed to find anything substantial — not even a fear to exploit — the punishment she was given was to take care of the hostage. She wasn’t a hundred percent sure it was a punishment, it just felt like one. An upside to it was that they were in a private cell instead of an observation lab. Plus Y/n was sedated whenever Wanda was in the room. Which prevented her from feeling even more guilty. However, that didn’t keep her from talking to the girl.

She had a theory that the girl could hear her. Wanda thought maybe if she could deceive her into believing that she was an ally then Y/n would allow her full access to her mind and they could be done with her. It has been two months of this and so far she hasn’t shown any sign of giving up her fight. Wanda almost admired her for it. Almost.

“You’d understand if you were afraid of your own secrets.” Wanda startles back and drops her materials from the sound of the girl's cracked voice. She shouldn’t be awake, they assured her of that. “You’re not religious are you?”

Wanda was confused by the question but saw no harm in answering. “Um, not really,” she quit believing after the people at the orphanage kept going on and on about “His plan.” Why would anyone deliberately plan to split a happy family apart and turn two ten-year-olds into orphans? She thought it was ridiculous.

“Homophobic?” Y/n asks shyly. Wanda shakes her head with a calculative gaze on the girl. What was with these questions? If only I could read her mind, she sighed to herself. “I am sometimes. Not on purpose. It was just,” Y/n takes a moment to think where the feelings came from. Tony never said anything about it. He wasn’t like that at all. It takes longer than she expected but Wanda doesn’t say or physically do anything in the meantime to give the girl the time she needs.

She does try to reach into her mind but finds that she is still locked out. Nothing more than an image of Y/n standing in a dark empty room. Nothing to work with there, that was basically this girl's current situation. Then Y/n starts talking again and Wanda returns to reality.

“One of my earlier nannies, the only one that was ever fired, was this religious nut job. I think her name was Karen? I don't know, it’s hard to remember. Doesn’t matter now. Any other time I would have ignored her completely. If she was around when I was in middle school I would have been able to spot her bullshit. But I didn’t. I was so young and so desperate for a mother figure to love me. She must’ve seen me as an easy target because she took advantage of that and sort of brainwashed me with the most backwards teachings. I don’t even think any of what she told me is what true religion is about, but she is the reason I hate any mention of it now. What made it worse was the kids at school would also say that being gay was a bad thing. They would use the word negatively and as an insult and bully anyone they thought might be homosexual. So that made it easier to believe everything that woman taught me,” Y/n continues to explain.

She takes a deep breath which hurts because of the bruised ribs and various other injuries she has sustained. “Tony must’ve found out because he fired her in front of me. I remember a lot of screaming and the woman looked scary. He didn’t know everything she said to me so all he could think to tell me was to forget about everything she ever told me. I was a kid so I didn’t care. I figured that it all would just leave me. Y’know, like most things do as you grow up. I mean, I don’t judge other people for loving who they love. They seem happy. It doesn’t make me uncomfortable to see a same-sex couple kiss or hold hands. And yet when it came to me I just…” She takes another round of slow breaths to admit to this stranger what she finds hard to admit to herself. “I was repulsed by the idea. I really didn’t want it to be me and when it turned out that it was, I hid it. From everyone in my life. The man who raised me and would happily accept me as I am, doesn’t know. Neither does his girlfriend, who has also been there for me through everything.” Her heart burns and her eyes sting as she begins to miss Tony and Pepper. But she doesn’t let the feeling sit with her for long. If she is going to survive, she can’t let her emotions bring her down.

“I hid it from them because I didn’t want them to make it okay. I didn’t want to give into the urges either. But I did and hated myself for it every time. So I’m sorry if I’m not being so forthcoming to a bunch of Nazi’s. I don’t even want to know my secrets,” Y/n finishes with a frown. That's when it clicked in the Sokovian's mind as to why she would only see Y/n when looking for her deepest fear. Then Y/n gives Wanda a glimpse of something. She isn’t aware that she is doing it. Controlling what Wanda sees from her mind.

“You love someone,” Wanda states as she sees flashes of a woman's smile in a bed. It’s not the clearest image and half of the woman’s face isn’t distinguishable, only her smile. Y/n’s voice can be heard as she says a name. Natalie Rushman. Y/n casts her eyes down at the mention of yet another person she misses.

“I wouldn’t say love,” Y/n mutters.

“What would you say then?”

“It’s more like I’m addicted. Not just to the good things she makes me feel but the bad things also.” Wanda tilts her head, interested in the openness and the choice of description. “I’ll chase her, which admittedly is part of the fun. She will give in, we’ll be happy for a little bit. Then out of nowhere, Nat will push me away and want nothing to do with me. Sure, I’ll feel hurt for a little bit, maybe even tell myself it’s not worth the heartache. But the second she tries to pull me back, I go. Knowing that she’s just going to hurt me again.”

“And you enjoy that?”

Y/n nods, embarrassed by the confession. Then she starts laughing hysterically, the pain doesn’t even stop her. “Mommy issues, I suppose is what my old therapist would say. I don’t really remember much about her though. My mother, I mean. All I can recall is the moments that she was there, then wasn’t, then was, then poof. She was gone completely and I have no idea why.” Y/n looks at Wanda and is overwhelmed by a feeling of a safe connection with this stranger. It quickly makes her realize that she was possibly oversharing. Something she couldn’t quite figure out. Y/n wasn’t known for being an open person. She learned very early on that she had to be careful what she told anyone. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. But I’m sure you have something at stake so if you want to out me to your boss. Go right ahead, I won’t hate you for it.”

Wanda is also surprised by the girl’s revealing monologue. What affected her even more was that she didn’t want to run off and tell them everything she knows. There was something compelling her not to. “I don’t have to tell them about this. How about some other skelton in your closet? Maybe I won’t be in here tomorrow tending to a new wound. Just an old one.” Wanda returns to her seat and grabs the wet rag she was using to clean the burn before she applies the petroleum jelly. She was curious every time she had to clean something but she knew it was for the best that she stayed in the dark.

Y/n hissed from the touch and tried to focus on anything but the pain. “I was raised in a mansion in Malibu by a billionaire, playboy, narcissist. Everything that they have in those files they took from S.H.I.E.L.D. is everything that I am. I don’t know why they think I’m hiding something bigger. I don’t have any special secrets about Tony. Or special information from S.H.I.E.L.D. And if it’s because they want to use something against me… I don’t have anything. The only people I care about they already know about.”

This made Wanda pause, the guilt she keeps pushing away began to creep its way back in. Strucker might have been doing this out of jealousy. He felt things towards this girl's mother that weren’t reciprocated and she only exists because that woman loved another man. This might not be any real plan, this might just be some nasty revenge. But Y/n didn’t do anything to deserve this other than be born. Wanda can’t fight the guilt anymore. “Why do you think you’re awake right now?”

Y/n shrugged and stared at the ceiling. “They said something about running low on supplies and seeing no point in wasting anymore on me. So they had a guy with a metal arm knock me out,” she tiredly explains. Her jaw begins to hurt from the memory. Tears began to pool up. What was taking them so long to find me? Y/n thought helplessly. “So are you a nurse or something?”

“I’m something,” Wanda answers slowly.

“Why have I seen you in my head before?”

“What do you mean?” Wanda frowns.

“I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve met you. And yet, I feel like I’ve seen you in my head before. Like in a dream or something. Why do you think that is?” Y/n turns to look at her again. The Sokovian is confused. She never thought that anyone could see her watching their memories or the visions of their fears before.

“Um I-I-I don’t know––”

“Please, don’t lie to me,” Y/n begs. It was a long shot, she knew that whoever this girl was she didn’t have to do anything that Y/n said. Wanda was aware that she wasn’t obligated to this request either, but she couldn’t help it.

“I volunteered to be experimented on and now I can read people’s minds.”

Y/n’s eyebrows shoot up. “You can read people’s minds,” she repeats, impressed with the information.

Wanda shrugs and applies the bandage, “Yes, among other things.”

“Cool,” Y/n watches the mind reader as she moves to another wound. “So what did you do so wrong that got you stuck with me?”

“Oh, I volunteered for this too.” Her tone is playful, she quirks her brow and hides a smile. Y/n manages a small one. “You resisted my powers. I failed at my task to get whatever they were looking for from you.”

“Huh, I guess there is something to that meditating after all.” Y/n only started to meditate because she dealt with a lot of anxiety and the therapy and medications weren’t ever enough. It did calm her down and make her feel more grounded but she never knew that it could keep people from trying to control her mind. Except, it wasn’t what was protecting her mind. “But you were able to get in a few times. It just wasn’t ever anything interesting, huh?”

“I wouldn’t say that. It just wasn’t useful. Even your worst fears were no good to them. But I did see some interesting stuff in there. Most of it was sad though.”

“You were standing behind the kids when they were recording me. That’s where I remember seeing you,” Y/n cringes at the thought of yet another person seeing one of the most humiliating moments in her life. Luckily, Tony was able to remove any trace of it off of the internet and dispose of any existing file the guy had. But now it exists in a foreign strangers mind anyway. Wanda nods slowly as she looks down. “That is probably the worst first kiss story ever,” Y/n says in the lightest tone she can manage.

Wanda laughs a little, “Yeah, I don’t know a single story that could top it.” Y/n asks what her story is and she decides to tell it. This girl wasn’t her enemy, she finds it hard that she could be anyone’s enemy. “Well, I was fifteen. I know, old for a first kiss. But I wasn’t really interested in anyone until then. He was a sweet boy and he didn’t live at the orphanage like I did but he didn’t treat me like I was less than him. Where I grew up, kids that had families never talked to the kids that didn’t. It was during school, we both cut class and snuck into the library. Then he kissed me and we dated for a few weeks after that. It wasn’t anything special but it wasn’t humiliating.”

Y/n smiles and comments on how sweet the story is, then she thanks her for sharing it and that's when she realizes she doesn’t know the name of this stranger that was tending to her injuries. It was probably for the best that she didn’t know. “I’m sorry that you lost your parents,” Y/n says sincerely. Wanda didn’t know how to respond. Her overall mission was still to kill Tony Stark which meant that Y/n would lose yet another parent. Would she be sorry if she knew that?

“It was a long time ago,” she says and that ends the conversation. The following days Y/n is unconscious when Wanda starts but wakes up halfway through and the two talk as if they weren’t in the situation they were in. The days turn into weeks and Y/n begins to heal. They stopped taking her out of the cell and only fed her once a day. She lost a significant amount of weight and felt like if she lost any more then every bone would snap. It was hell but she still had the brunette girl with enchanting green eyes to look forward to everyday. Wanda stopped trying to break into her mind because she also thought of Y/n as a friend. Instead, she listens and shares stories with her. No one asks her if she has any new information so she figures either they are watching from some hidden camera or they don’t care to know anymore.

One morning, Y/n feels her body get lifted, dropped onto another surface and then be rolled off. She forces her eyes to open but it’s difficult. “Ah good morning, Miss Stark. We are going to try something a little different.” Strucker says as he rolls the drowsy prisoner down the corridor. She tried to move and speak but it was impossible. “Don’t worry, the rest of it will kick in soon.” She looks around for a safe face but she is only surrounded by unfamiliar male doctors and guards. Whatever this “little different” was, it wasn’t going to be good.

“How in the hell have we gone through twenty of these places and still have nothing? We are the Avengers! Why the hell can’t we find them!?” Tony shouts as he throws a table at a wall in the base they had just raided. Steve remains silent as he lets the man rant on and on.

At the beginning everyone had hope and motivation. They might’ve even been a little cocky with their title and resources. But now the team was close to losing faith in themselves. Natasha and Steve had to help Fury shut down S.H.I.E.L.D. because the whole organization was too corrupted to save. Tony was able to access all of the information before anyone was able to delete any of it. Except that didn’t lead them any closer to Y/n. Strucker didn’t give Hydra any record of their Sokovia location which meant they only had the radiation signals to rely on. They didn’t know that so the Avengers mixed and matched the locations of where they thought they would have taken her with the amount of the radiation signals. It was getting them nowhere.

“We need to get back to headquarters and regroup. We will find her, Stark. You have my word.” Steve says.

“Your word,” Tony laughs. “Your word is what is going to find her, huh?” He throws his arms up with a scoff. “You hear that ladies and gentlemen! Stars and Stripes has given us his word! I guess this whole time the only missing element was Cap's word!” Natasha calls out Tony’s name but that doesn’t stop him. “No! Now we have Cap’s word! It is only a matter of minutes until we find her now! Are you going to give me your word that she’s going to be alive when we find her? Can your word save her, Steve? Will it protect her from whatever they are doing to her!”

“Tony!” She calls again. “Now isn’t the time. Let's get to the jet and we’ll go to the next location.” Natasha demands. She didn’t need to think about what might be happening to Y/n, it was too painful. “There’s no reason to start a fight when we are all on the same team.” Tony closed his helmet and exited through the roof. “Rogers, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s hurting and worried about his daughter. I can handle a tantrum. I just wish that we were closer to finding her. It’s been months, whatever shape we find her in… I’m afraid it’s not going to be pretty.” He walks out of the room and she follows. “There has to be something that we are missing. Maybe we’ve been looking at it too hard and it’s more obvious than we are making it. Maybe she’s been right under our noses this whole time.”

“Steve, we are doing everything that we can.”

“Then why isn’t it enough?”

“I don’t know,” Natasha sighs.

“Guys, better hurry to the jet. The radar is picking up on something big,” Bruce speaks to them through their earpieces and the two look at each other before running to the jet.

Taglist: @thatvillain

Chapter 7

[tchallasbabymama]

All For Us Chapter 9

Hey y’all, thanks for being patient with me on this one, but it’s finally done! Not to be the bearer of bad news or anything, but there’s only one chapter left (and maybe an epilogue) on our journey with Mira, Erik, and Cupcake. If you’re just here for Killmonger, I have a couple Erik oneshots heading y’all’s way in the next few weeks. Also, check out The Temple. 😉

As always, don’t forget to look at my masterlist to read my other stories and oneshots, and let me know if you want to be tagged in anything. Like, comment, and reblog away! 🥰

CW: a little smut

Word Count: 6,481

Erik’s eyes flew open as he bolted upright through the sand that covered his body in his temporary grave. He was in the heart of the temple where the Black Panther ceremony took place, the City of the Dead. The lost prince pulled himself from the sand and brushed the clay-colored sediment from around his eyes as he climbed the stone staircase leading up into the garden of the heart-shaped herb. When he made it to the top, Erik took a deep breath before stepping into the garden. To his surprise, nothing caught on fire like in his previous dreams. His shoulders relaxed as he took another step into the garden, and another, and another until he was face to face with Bast’s statue. A smile took over his face as he knelt at her feet.

“Took you long enough, Jaguar.”

Erik lifted his head, and her celestial glow nearly blinded him as he laid his eyes on the panther goddess once more.

“Long enough for what?”

“For your senses to come back, obviously.” Bast circled him and laid down, licking her paw. “Pretty soon, you won’t have to be asleep to talk to me.”

“What made you change your mind?”

“Oh, I had nothing to do with it.”

Erik turned to face her and sat back on his heels.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I never took them away. You did.”

“I’m not following.”

“Your guilt blocked your senses, Erik,” she sighed. “You had been holding onto pieces of it, but you finally let it go.”

“I felt guilty for ruining our marriage,” Erik mused aloud.

“But you didn’t, so congratulations,” she said nonchalantly. “That’s not why you’re here, though.”

“Ok, what’s up?”

Bast chuckled at his informality.

“Last time we spoke, I said I would need you to do something for me. I’ve finally made up my mind as to what that is.”

Erik sat with bated breath as he waited for his assignment. For a moment, he was reminded of his military and mercenary days, except this time, he was being given a mission from a goddess. His goddess.

“As you know, Wakanda has never had a Golden Jaguar before. You are an anomaly, but that is a good thing.” She stood up and started walking, making him rush to his feet to follow after her.

“It is?”

“Yes. You know, the good thing about cycles is that with destruction comes rebirth…change. You’ve forced Wakanda to change, and you’ve forced me to think some things over. Truthfully, after the little stunt you almost pulled, I did think about removing your powers. I don’t need to preach about it, though, since you already know all about your wrongdoings, but I heard what you said about your people. We have neglected them, and for that, I have no words of apology that would adequately ease your pain. The Lost Tribe, as my people have come to call you, needs a champion. Wakanda already has theirs, but since you seem to rather enjoy toying with colonizers, I have an assignment for you.”

Erik’s ears were trained on Bast as he hung on every word she said. He walked next to her as they made their way through the catacombs towards the temple’s entrance.

“Before you came to Wakanda, you were involved with Klaue and his hunt for vibranium. Your vast knowledge of African and diasporic artifacts combined with your training makes a great equation for what I need you to do.”

“Which is?”

“I want you to act as the Golden Jaguar on the Lost Tribe’s behalf. I recognize that as just one person, you can only do so much, which is why I will talk to T’Challa about you heading his Wardog program. I would like for you to have an army of spies at your disposal to act instead of just watch and report as they have done in the past.”

“So basically what I wanted to do before but without the world domination?”

“Precisely,” Bast chuckled and stopped walking at the door to the temple.

“Ok,” Erik thought on it as a smile crept up his cheeks. “I’ll do it.”

“I knew you would. I think you’ll like my first assignment. Well, second. First, you need to stop avoiding the City of the Dead in your waking life. You need to go visit the garden.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Erik said, his nerves twisting in his gut at the thought of actually stepping back onto the sacred land.

“Now, my second assignment: artifact reclamation. Instead of searching for vibranium, which you might find, I want you to return items to their rightful owners.”

“So, stealing,” Erik deadpanned.

“Yes, but for a good cause. I will let you work out the details, but the point is to return the power to the people by building them back up, brick by brick. They were separated from their gods, so the Ancestors and the Orishas are working on bringing them back to us spiritually. They are still working on getting other spirits and pantheons on board...alas, my brother and sisters are choosing to take a more passive approach.” She sighed. “The Lost Tribe was taken from the land, so T’Challa has already spearheaded initiatives to build up other African countries that need his assistance and bring the Lost home to the continent. Now, I need you to bring our belongings home. Our thrones, our art, our history. Take it back. Bring it back to its rightful place.”

“I’m with it, but, um...how am I supposed to do this without getting caught? If shit just starts disappearing en masse, somebody’s gonna notice.”

“They won’t disappear. The colonizers won’t even know they’re gone.” Bast flicked her tail mischievously. “Your wife designs kimoyo beads, does she not?”

“Well, yeah-”

“And your cousins are scientific geniuses, correct?”

“Yes…”

“Then I’m sure that between all of your big beautiful brains, you can figure out a way to make replicas of the artifacts.”

“Why does that compliment feel like an insult?”

“I like you, Jaguar,” The goddess chuckled. “Now go enjoy your time with your wife.” She winked at Erik as she nudged him out into the brightness shining from outside the wide-open temple doors. Erik returned to consciousness, and he was shocked by the feeling of Mira’s mouth traveling up and down his shaft.

“Fuck, girl. This how you waking Big Daddy up now?”

She popped her head off his tip, and he groaned at the sight of a bridge of spit still connecting her to him.

“Good morning, baby.”

“Mmmm, good morning to you, too,” he grabbed her loose curls that she had forgotten to tie up the night before. The silk sheets kept her hair soft and bouncy as her hair spilled over his fist while it rested at the back of her head. He pulled her in for a kiss, and then she went right back to taking him down her throat. “You’re gonna make me nut all down that throat, Princess.”

Mira’s hand cupped and massaged his ballsack while she sucked on his bulbous head. Her tongue swirled around the tip, and her other hand traveled up and down his length, making his toes curl.

“Fuuuuck, you remember just what Big Daddy likes. Imma bust a fat ass nut, girl,” Erik groaned through gritted teeth. Mira giggled at her control over him and continued to work his dick. Her nose reached his pelvis as she took him down her throat, and he came with such force that she almost choked. Almost.

When she pulled off of him, she tongue-kissed his tip before sitting back on her haunches and wiping her mouth. “How’d you sleep?”

Erik let out a breathy laugh, “Like the dead.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t feel me moving. You were out cold.”

“That’s because I was talking to Bast.”

“What’d she say this time?”

Erik sat up against the headboard and motioned for her to come to him. Mira crawled up his body and straddled him, sliding down on his dick so that they were connected as deep as they could be. They had always been like this; whenever they needed to have a serious conversation, Erik would set her in his lap and have her take all of him. They both reveled in the connection they had in that moment, and even in their stillness, their united bodies responded to each other as the words fell from his lips.

“She wants me to be the Golden Jaguar officially,” he said as he kissed down from Mira’s ear to her shoulder.

“What does that mean?” Mira asked, barely above a whisper.

“She wants me to be a champion for us, the Lost Tribe. Wakandans have T, so I’ll be protecting the rest of us with the Wardogs.”

“How, though? That’s so many people.”

He came up from kissing between her breasts to look her in the eyes. “Well, remember how I told you about the museum heist to get the vibranium?”

Mira nodded.

“She wants me to steal artifacts from museums and shit and return them to where they were stolen from.”

“That sounds right up your alley,” Mira snarked, and he tickled her sides, making her pussy clench around him, and he let out a groan at the feeling. He grabbed her hips and moved them back and forth.

“It is. I can’t do anything until I visit the garden of the heart-shaped herb, though.”

“Why?” she moaned.

“I’ve been avoiding it,” he sighed.

Mira pulled him into a kiss and cycloned her hips as she wound on him. “Do you need to go alone, or do you want me to come with you?”

He connected their foreheads as he pushed his hips forward into her, and she called out his name.

“I need to go alone.”

Their hips ground into each other as the sexual energy inside them built up slowly and erupted through their bodies. Erik placed kisses all over Mira’s face and neck as she caught her breath from the intensity of her orgasm.

“How about I make breakfast?” Erik asked, and Mira simply nodded and kissed him. She moved to get up, but he held her down. “Nah, I didn’t say right now.”

After another round, the two of them separated from each other, if only because of the rumbling of their bellies. They showered together, and Erik couldn’t help himself from bending her over and eating her pussy and ass from the back. Pretty soon, he was balls deep inside her again, and when he came all over her cheeks, he about keeled over from the way the orgasm shook through his body.

“Aight, I need a break,” Erik said, and the two of them shared a laugh as they finished their shower without any more funny business.

“Can I have one of your t-shirts?” Mira asked as they slathered themselves in shea butter.

“You can have anything you want, Princess. MIT or Navy?”

“MIT please,” she cheesed at him.

“Coming right up.”

Erik left the room and returned with his maroon-colored MIT t-shirt. The same one she wore the first time she stayed over at his apartment back in the day. He knew it was her favorite and the look on her face when he handed it to her was priceless. She quickly shimmied into it while he slid on a pair of sweatpants that left little to the imagination.

The two of them relocated to the kitchen, and Mira toyed around with her latest kimoyo design on her tablet while Erik got to work on breakfast.

“That a new one?” he asked, nodding towards the design hovering over the counter.

“Yeah, I haven’t gotten it to work right, though,” she grumbled as she stared at it. “I want it to be able to apply cloaking tech to whatever it touches, but so far, I can only get the bead to disappear.”

Erik listened to her complain about her failed design for a little while, and when she was done, she turned off the tablet and hopped up on the counter.

“Anything I can do?” Mira asked

“Mhm,” he came over and stood between her legs, placing a sloppy kiss on her lips. “Just sit there looking fine as hell.”

“I’m serious,” she smiled.

“So am I,” he said incredulously with a hand over his heart, making her chuckle at his dramatics.

“Fine, I’ll be your muse.”

“And my guinea pig. Here, try this.”

Erik lifted the spoon to her lips so she could taste the yam hash he had been working on, and her eyes bugged out of her head.

“I forgot you turn into Top Chef after sex.”

“Gotta feed my woman,” he kissed her cheek and cracked a couple of eggs sunny-side up in the skillet.

Mira giggled, and an idea struck her. She reached back for her tablet again and pulled up her latest work in progress, a story about a decades-long whirlwind romance that she had gotten stuck on. All she needed was a little inspiration, and Erik ended up being just what she needed.

He watched his wife type away with a smile on his face. Erik loved watching her work; the look of determination on her face was always so endearing to him. She’d bite her lip and squint her eyes as she tried her best to focus on the task at hand. Erik always thought it was adorable.

The smell of fresh vegetables coming in contact with hot oil filled the air, and Mira’s mouth started to water. She looked up from her work to see what Erik was doing but got distracted by his body. She watched his sinewy muscles moving beneath his textured skin, and a chill went down her spine.

“What the fuck is that?” Erik sniffed the air, following the sweet scent that had just wafted from out of nowhere.

“What’s what?” Mira asked, swinging her legs back and forth.

He turned to face her, and his pupils blew wide as the smell hit him again.

“It’s you,” he turned off the burner and stalked over to her, standing between her legs again and placing his nose in the crook of her neck. He inhaled her scent and let out a growl.

“What is that?”

“My bodywash?”

“Nah, it’s you. What-” he cut himself off when it dawned on him. When he was king for a day, he only smelled fear from those around him. Fear smelled like decay, it smelled rotten, but this was the exact opposite. It was enticing, like the most beautiful forbidden garden, and Erik knew exactly what it was. Her arousal. He bit into her neck, making her moan out as he ground his hips into hers. The aroma grew, and Erik’s composure slipped away the more he inhaled it.

“E-erik, the food.”

He took a deep breath as he stood to his full height. “I can smell when you want me.”

“What?!”

“I wonder if it’s different for every person...shit, I wonder if I can smell other people. I hope not-”

“What are you saying? You can tell when I’m horny?”

“I guess so. I only smelled fear before, but it makes sense. I’m just caught off guard because it hit me out of nowhere, like last night.”

“What happened last night?”

“I could hear your heartbeat.”

Mira’s face lit up, “That’s good, though, right? It means your senses are coming back!”

“Yeah, I’m just surprised by that one. I wasn’t expecting all that,” he laughed.

“So...I smell good?”

“You don’t know how good, Princess,” he grumbled as he finished cooking. Mira crossed her legs, making him chuckle. “That’s not helping. It’s all over you.”

“Damn...what else can you do?”

“I need to test out my strength and speed, but my sight was different, too. Everything was brighter, more vibrant. And my brain moved faster...I don’t know how to explain it. Bast said my guilt was the blockage, so they’ll probably slowly come back over time. After they’re back, I’m supposed to start on my mission.”

“You still felt guilty?”

“I thought I broke us. I mean, I did, but I felt like it was unfixable, you know?”

Mira nodded, “Yeah, it felt like that sometimes.”

Erik pulled the dishes out of the cabinet and set them down next to her.

“Mira, I’m-”

“Erik, if you say you’re sorry one more time, so help me, Bast,” Mira said, making a dimpled smile appear on Erik’s face.

“Yes, ma’am.”

They fell into a comfortable silence while Erik plated the food, and when he handed Mira hers, he left a kiss on her cheek. She smiled and hopped down from the counter to sit at the table. When she sat down, she couldn’t help but stare at Erik as he walked over. Her man, her formerly violent man was really chosen by a goddess to protect Black people around the globe.

He noticed the look on her face and couldn’t quite place it. “What?”

“Nothing, just...look at you, doing the work of gods now.”

“I bet you never thought you’d say that about your mercenary husband,” Erik winked at her.

“Sure didn’t,” Mira laughed, “but it fits. You always had it in you. You know, I’m glad I came out here. I wouldn’t get to see this new side of you otherwise, and so far, I like it.”

--------

A couple of hours later, Erik found himself in front of the City of the Dead with his palms sweating and his breath shaking. He wasn’t sure why the temple unnerved him so much, but it did. Erik knew he had to do what Bast told him, though, and took a step forward. He climbed the stairs to the ornate stone doors and waited as they slowly opened for him. Erik was met with the sight of a surprisingly calm woman in purple robes. He recognized her as the woman he had choked out, the new head priestess.

“My prince,” she saluted him. “Welcome. I have been expecting you.”

“You have?”

“Of course. Come in.”

He hesitantly stepped forward again and entered the temple. A chill went down his spine as the doors shut behind them, and he looked around the space. He had only been there once before in his waking life, but this time it felt different. It probably had something to do with the fact that she wasn’t scared of him this time around.

“What’s your name?” he asked nervously.

“I am Zaya, my prince.”

“You don’t have to do the whole ‘my prince’ thing. Especially since I...you know.”

“Yes, I remember.”

“I’m sorry about that. I should’ve never put my hands on you.”

“I have spoken to Bast about it, and I forgive you. Just don’t let it happen again,” she warned.

Erik put his hands up in defense, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good. Now, you are here to see the herb, no?” She started walking, and he followed behind her.

“How’d you know?”

“I spoke to Bast, remember?” She quipped with an eyebrow raised.

“Heh, yeah,” he chuckled nervously and cleared his throat. “I don’t know why I’m so anxious.”

“I assume that is a normal reaction when reckoning with your past.”

The two of them traveled deeper into the temple, and when they reached the door that led to the garden of the heart-shaped herb, he froze. Zaya looked back when she no longer heard his footsteps and smiled warmly, reaching out her hand to him. He took it, and she led him through the doors. Erik almost wanted to close his eyes, but he knew he had to face his past actions head-on.

He looked around, and his breath caught in his throat when he saw there were dozens of tiny glowing purple buds just begging to become full-grown flowers. He laughed in disbelief at what he was seeing. He had burnt the garden to ashes, but now here it was, thriving in spite of him.

“It took us a while to get them to grow again, but thankfully we were able to put out the fire before the roots were harmed,” Zaya spoke as he wandered through the garden in awe.

“And these...they still work?”

“The princess took a sample and tested it in her lab. According to her, this new batch might be a little different, but they should still work. Bast has given them her blessing, so that is enough for me.”

“So, I didn’t ruin Wakanda’s future like I thought...”

“No, just a bump in the road,” she smiled.

Just as he was about to respond, the strangest thing happened. His eyes were trained on one of the buds, and suddenly he could see every little vein in the leaves and the detail of the curled-up petals. The color became brighter and even more purple than most people could comprehend, and a tear rolled down his cheek as he smiled.

He could see again.

“Are you ok?” Zaya asked tentatively.

Erik cleared his throat, “Yeah, I’m good. It’s just my senses are coming back, and...they’re beautiful.”

“And resilient.”

He laughed and wiped the tear from his face.

“How about I give you some time alone?”

“Thanks, Zaya, that’d be great.”

She bowed her head in deference and went back the way they came. When she was gone, Erik let out a sigh as he took in the sight before him.

“They really made it…”

“Of course, they did. Did you think I would leave my people defenseless?” Bast’s silky voice rang out through the temple, and he turned around to see her standing there in her mostly-human form. She was a statuesque and curvaceous woman with the head of a panther and locs that spilled over her ebony shoulders. Erik dropped to his knees as she walked towards him. “No need for all of that. Stand up, Jaguar.”

He laid eyes on her once more as he rose from the ground. Her glow was almost blinding, but his eyes adjusted quickly.

“I can’t believe I’m seeing you in person.”

“Get used to it. I like to pop in on my champions every now and again. Sometimes in dreams, sometimes in your thoughts, and sometimes in person. It all depends.”

“On what?”

“On you and what you need, or what I need from you.”

“Ok, so what do you need from me?”

Bast chuckled. “Truthfully, nothing this time. I just needed to see you face-to-face.”

“You don’t have an assignment for me?”

“Not yet. I know how much you enjoy the sanctuary, so I’ll let you stay there a little whille longer. Plus, you are just now mending your marriage and need time to spend with your wife and child before I call you away.”

“How much time?”

“Enough,” she winked.

“You’re so cryptic,” Erik chuckled.

“Yes, your cousin thinks so, too. However, I prefer ‘mysterious.’”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he smirked.

“Well, I don’t want to keep you long,” she sighed. “You have some party planning to do. They grow up fast, don’t they?”

“Especially when you miss a couple of years,” he murmured.

“Which is why I’m giving you at least a year before I call on you. Make good use of it, Erik.”

“Yes, ma’am, I will.”

“Good. Oh, and one more thing, Erik.”

“Yeah?”

“Try running back to the palace,” she winked again as she shimmered away, leaving him alone in the temple.

Erik tried to contain himself as he left the garden and ran into Zaya.

“Was your ‘alone’ time fruitful?” she asked knowingly.

All he could do was beam at her with his megawatt dimpled smile.

“Very.”

Erik said goodbye and ran back through the forest to the city, his heart beating out of his chest in excitement. His superhuman speed carried him back in no time as the wind whipped against his body. A smile was plastered on his face the whole time, even when he slowed down as he reached the outskirts of Birnin Zana. He hurried to the palace as inconspicuously as he could and happened to run into Mira just as she was leaving. When she saw the look on his face, she couldn’t help the grin that took over hers.

“So, how did- Erik!” She squealed as he picked her up and twirled her around with barely any effort.

“They’re back!”

“Your powers?”

“Well, yeah, but the heart shaped herb is coming back!” he peppered kisses all over her face and neck while she giggled. “You’re more beautiful than I ever imagined you could be.”

“So I take it your vision came back, and you’re super strong again?”

“And fast. I ran here in like twenty minutes.”

“From the CIty of the Dead?!”

“Mhm,” he nodded as he set her back on the ground.

“Damn, baby, that’s...that’s amazing.”

“I need to test them out some more, so I’m gonna see if T has some time to spar. You going to the lab?”

“Shopping, actually. Okoye and Ayo took Imani so I could get some last-minute party stuff.”

“Need someone to carry your bags?”

“Oh, hell yeah. Especially since you got that jaguar strength again.”

“Lead the way, beautiful.”

--------

Early that Saturday morning, as the sun crested over the trees, Mira and Erik stood on the tarmac watching as the Royal Talon descended from the sky. Mira was almost shaking with excitement as the doors opened and T’Challa stepped out, followed by some of her favorite people in the whole world.

“Titi!”

SJ ran down the ramp past the king and flung himself into his auntie’s arms. She held him tight and rocked him from side to side as Stef and Ana approached, with Daveed teetering between the two of them.

She looked up at them and gasped, “Oh my god, he can walk now? How long have I been gone?”

“Girl, too long,” Havana complained as she wrapped her arms around her sister-in-law.

Stefan was next to greet her, and his eyes stayed glued to Erik the whole time as he enveloped his sister in a bear hug, “We missed you, Sammy.”

“No, you miss my cooking,” she laughed as she crouched down to say hi to her littlest nephew.

“You remember Titi Mira?” Ana asked him, and he shook his head, hiding behind his dad’s leg.

“That’s ok, we can get to know each other while you’re here,” Mira smiled at him and stood back up.

“Who are you?” SJ asked when he finally noticed the man standing behind his aunt.

“SJ, this is your Uncle Erik. You might not remember him but-“

He thought about it for a moment before it dawned on him. “Do you still have all those bumps on you?”

Stefan tried to hold in his snickering, and Havana hit him in his chest.

“Uh, yeah, I do.”

“That’s so cool!”

“Heh, thanks, lil man.”

“So, brother in law…It’s good to see you,” Stef deadpanned. He was clearly not feeling Erik anymore.

“You, too, man,” Erik went to dap him up, and he stared at his hand in contempt.

“Stefan, behave,” Havana said with a roll of her eyes. “Hi Erik, how are you?”

“Much better since I’ve been here.”

“Good, good…”

T’Challa had been standing to the side while the family reunited but decided to intervene when things got awkward.

“Stefan, Havana, let us show you to your quarters.”

“Oooh, our ‘quarters,’” Ana sang excitedly. “Sounds so fancy.”

“It’s a palace, Ana. Of course it’s fancy,” Stef grumbled.

She cut her eyes at him. “Don’t act out in front of company.”

Mira chuckled. She hadn’t realized how much she missed hearing their playful bickering.

As they made their way through the place, Stef and Ana stared slack-jawed at their surroundings while SJ ran ahead of the group.

“You live here?” Ana asked.

“Mhm. It’s gorgeous, right?!” Mira bragged.

“That’s not even the word…”

T’Challa smirked as he listened to them compliment his home.

“So, where’s the birthday girl?” Stefan asked.

“She is with my mother and Ororo.”

“Ororo?” Stef stopped in his tracks. “Munroe?!”

“The one and only,” T’Challa grinned proudly.

“Holy shit…”

“Language,” Havana chided her husband as she covered SJ’s ears.

“What is it with these men and cursing around children?” Mira shook her head at her brother.

“Girl, I don’t know, but let’s get back to Storm. How’d y’all meet?”

“She’s his girlfriend,” Erik nodded towards his cousin.

“Dang, how’d you get her? I mean, I know you’re a king and all, but- Wait, are you a mutant, too?” Stef asked.

T’Challa and Mira made eye contact, and she nodded for him to continue. They were family and would most likely be seeing a lot of Wakanda, so they’d find out eventually.

“I am enhanced, yes.”

“Like Steve Rogers?” SJ chimed in excitedly from a few feet ahead.

“He wishes,” T’Challa complained under his breath as they stopped in front of the door across from Erik and Mira. Both of them chuckled at the king’s arrogance.

“So...you’re enhanced. Why, though?” Stef asked.

They entered the suite, and the interrogation was cut short when the Greenwoods saw how beautiful their temporary home was.

“Holy shit…” Ana mused as she covered SJ’s ears.

Mira gave them a quick tour while T’Challa and Erik hung back in the living area.

“So, you and Stefan-”

“He never liked me, and I made things worse by disappearing,” he shrugged.

T’Challa nodded as he changed into his suit.

“Oh, so you’re coming all the way out?”

“They will find out eventually, so I might as well get it over with.”

Erik nodded as Mira rounded the corner and saw T’Challa in his suit. She smirked and called SJ. He ran back into the room and froze when he saw Black Panther standing there next to his uncle. Ana was next to round the corner and looked at her son questioningly before she looked up and saw what he was staring at with his mouth open.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said with a hand on her hip.

“About what?” Stef came next, and T’Challa’s mask disappeared into his necklace. “This place is insane.”

SJ couldn’t move. He was looking at his favorite hero in the entire world, right there in the place he’d call home for the next week. His mind could barely wrap around what he was seeing, and he couldn’t process his emotions. Tears started flowing down his face, and a sob wracked his body.

“Hey, hey. It’s ok, baby,” Ana crouched down and wiped his tears as Stef came over with Daveed on his hip.

“You’re not excited to see Black Panther?” He asked his eldest son.

SJ shook his head, and T’Challa deflated. Erik kept his snickering to himself, but Mira shot him a look anyway.

“I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset him.”

“He’s just in shock. It’ll wear off eventually,” Ana said as she brushed SJ’s locs out of his face.

————

It took way longer to wear off than they thought, and by the time they arrived at the party venue in the palace’s botanical gardens that afternoon, he still hadn’t said a word. T’Challa tried to speak to him a couple of times, but he shied away behind Mira or his parents. Eventually, Erik convinced him to give the kid some space and pulled the dejected king away to the other side of the garden. While the other kids and their parents arrived, SJ kept looking at T’Challa out of the corner of his eye.

“You know, he doesn’t bite...or scratch,” Mira leaned in and said to her nephew as she sat down next to him at the kid’s table. “In fact, he’s pretty cool once you get to know him.”

“Does Imani know?” he spoke up for the first time in hours, and Mira was happy to hear his voice again.

“Oh, yeah. He told us when we got here, but it’s a secret so she pinky promised not to tell. You know, I screamed when I saw him.”

“You did?!”

“Mhm. He really needs to learn how to ease people into it, huh?” she asked as she poked at his side, making him giggle. Stef and Ana watched from a few yards away and smiled with him while they kept a watchful eye on Daveed as he waddled around the flowers.

SJ nodded in response, and Mira kissed his temple before getting up and leaving him to ponder her words. Right when he had worked up the courage to speak to his hero, Erik announced that Imani was on her way with Ororo and Ramonda.

“I can’t wait to see my baby girl!” Ana squealed.

Mira excitedly grabbed Erik’s hand, and he kissed her knuckles, making Stef narrow his eyes as he and his family hid behind a mango tree.

Imani appeared with her auntie and future cousin, and T’Challa recorded as she squealed excitedly at seeing everybody. A’Kidi, Kofi, Sanaa, A’Sami, Ade, and all her other friends from school greeted her with a loud “Happy birthday!” The newly five-year-old’s tunnel vision made her almost ignore her parents and other adults completely until Erik picked her up and gave her a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Happy birthday, Cupcake!”

“We have a surprise for you,” Mira sang.

“What is it?” Imani asked excitedly.

Erik set her down and turned her around as Mira motioned for her family to reveal themselves. SJ ran out from behind the tree and nearly tackled his cousin to the ground while her aunt, uncle, and baby cousin took a calmer approach.

“There’s the birthday girl!” Stef exclaimed while his eldest son continued to squeeze her tight. SJ let her go, and she ran into her uncle’s arms. Ana crouched down next to him, and Imani threw her arms around her neck.

“We’ve missed you so much!” Ana said as she fought tears.

“I missed you too. Wakanda is so cool! I can’t wait to show you everything,” Imani babbled.

“Did you know about Black Panther?” SJ asked, still a little nervous about meeting his hero.

Imani nodded, “I promised to keep it a secret, or I would’ve told you. It’s so cool, right?”

SJ nodded, and Imani dragged him off to meet her friends.

Erik couldn’t keep the smile off his face if he tried as he watched his little social butterfly play with her friends and cousin. It wasn’t until Mira came up and nudged him that he even realized he was staring.

“You ok?” she asked.

“Hm? Yeah, I’m fine,” he said as he put his arm around her and kissed her temple. “Just reliving some things.”

Mira looked at him curiously and he continued, “One of the few good memories I have from childhood that we talked about in therapy was my seventh birthday party. This kind of reminds me of that.”

Mira smiled as they stood there and watched Shuri, Ororo, and T’Challa play with the kids. The king regaled them with stories of his adventures, and Shuri let them ride on very slow hoverbikes while Ororo harnessed the wind to lift them up and let them fly a couple of feet off of the ground. The kids were having a ball, and their parents seemed to enjoy themselves as well. Okoye, M’Baku, and a couple other people gravitated towards each other and fell into conversation about being single parents. However, the rest of them spent most of their time ogling the royal family.

Eventually, it was time to eat and the parents were able to corral the kids into sitting down at the table. After stuffing their faces with an array of Imani’s favorite foods, Mira led the “happy birthday” song as she and Ayo carried out a huge Doc McStuffins birthday cake. Imani and SJ were the only kids who knew who she was, but everyone enjoyed the cake nonetheless. Erik couldn’t help the tear that almost came to his eye as he listened to his wife sing to their daughter, just like his mother had done to him. Loudly and slightly off key. Next, Shuri led the group in a Wakandan birthday song, and Imani blew out the huge number five candle in the center of the cake.

Mira kept stealing glances at Erik as he sliced it up and handed out pieces to everyone. He looked so happy. Even when one of the kids tripped and got icing all over his pants leg, he just kept on smiling.

Even Stef noticed the change in his brother-in-law’s demeanor and brought it up to Ana, “He smiles too much now. It’s weird.”

“It’s weird that he’s happy?”

“No, it’s just weird to see. He used to be so…”

“Surly and unapproachable.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

“Maybe you should get to know him?”

“Hmph,” he grunted in response. Ana decided to leave it alone for the time being and left his side to go talk to Erik.

“You think you can handle the sleepover?” she asked him.

“Thank Bast it’s not all of them.”

“It’s not?”

“Hell no, just her little crew,” he pointed to A’Kidi, Kofi, Sanaa, A’Sami, and Ade. “I’m not taking care of all these kids.”

Ana laughed, “Understood.”

“So...your husband still doesn’t like me, huh?”

“Can you blame him?” Ana deadpanned.

“Nah, I’d be the same way in his shoes.”

“He’ll come around eventually...maybe,” she said as she placed a comforting hand on his arm before being pulled away by her son to watch the Black Panther and Storm show off their powers some more. SJ still couldn’t bring himself to speak to T’Challa, but it was a start.

As the party wound down and most of Imani’s classmates went home, the few that stuck around relocated inside to the Stevens’ suite in the palace. Even with a handful of screaming children in his home, Erik was on cloud nine. He loved to see a smile on his Cupcake’s face, and he wondered if he looked that happy when he was a kid. He concluded he probably did, and as the kids watched an animated movie, he and Mira curled up on the couch behind them. While the rugrats were distracted, he pulled her chin up to plant a kiss on her lips.

“What was that for?” she smiled.

“I’ve just been thinking…”

“About what?”

“About making more good memories, you know? Some of the happiest times in my life were times just like this…and time spent with you.”

Mira looked down with a smile on her face and he brought it back up to look in her eyes.

“Marry me again.”

Her eyebrows damn near reached her hairline and a Grinch-like smile crept up her face as she nodded.

“I’d love to.” Next Chapter

Taglist: @ladymac82, @kitesatforestp, @harleycativy, @raysunshine78, @maddeningmayhem, @theblulife, @motheroffae, @love-mesome-me, @toni9, @bribrisback

[sisterspooky1013]

Only One Choice, Part 2, Chapter 2

Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic

“Oh, hi Dana,” Maggie says, drying her hands on a dishtowel. “Should I have been expecting you today?”

Dana shakes her head from her mother’s doorstep. “No, sorry for dropping by unannounced, I was just...driving around. I thought I’d say hi.”

“Of course, sweetheart, come on in.” Maggie ushers her inside and puts on a pot of coffee. “Did you and Ethan have a good New Year?” she asks, pulling the creamer out of the fridge.

“Yes, it was fine. We just had a quiet night at home, nothing exciting,” she responds blandly.

They get situated in the front room, the warmth of the afternoon sun streaming in the windows and betraying the chill outside. Dana watches a pair of squirrels as they forage for acorns stashed away in the summer months. It occurs to her that the nuts they will eat were hidden before she married Ethan. Possibly even before she broke Mulder’s heart. It feels like lifetimes ago, and yet it was recent enough that the fruit of its season is still edible.

“Dana,” Maggie says gently, “can I ask you something? And I hope you won’t take offense.”

“Sure, mom,” she answers, not looking away from the furry foragers.

“Are you happy?”

Dana turns to look at her mother, finding her with a concerned and empathetic expression.

“What do you mean?” she asks. She’s worked so hard to be okay, but maybe she’s not doing as well faking it as she thought.

“Dana, you are my most level-headed child,” Maggie begins, “I have never questioned your decisions or your logic, or your path for your life. It’s so clear that you make your choices with great intention and consideration, and that’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“Say anything about what?” Her breath is becoming just a bit labored. It feels like her mother is about to reveal something significant to her, only about herself.

“You changed, Dana, after you and Ethan got engaged. It was like the light went from your eyes. I didn’t understand it, but I trusted that you knew what you wanted and chalked it up to jitters. But it’s been nearly three months, and I thought I’d have my daughter back by now.”

The pain in her mother’s eyes brings a lump to her throat and she swallows against it. Her chin quivers just a bit, but she fights to maintain control. It’s something she’s needed to do often as of late.

“Mom, how did you know that Dad was the person you were supposed to spend your life with?” she asks hoarsely, and Maggie’s face contorts into a mask of pained understanding as she takes her daughter’s hand.

“I knew,” she starts but then stops again, looking out the window with a faraway quality to her gaze. “I knew because when I was with him I felt alive, like he really saw me. And whenever I wasn’t with him, he was all I thought about.” Maggie turns again to look at her daughter with shining eyes, the memory of her late husband still one that pricks at the pain of her loss.

“But did you always feel that way, even after you’d been together for years?” Dana further interrogates. Certainly such a strong feeling must fade with time.

“It changed, of course, after four kids and dozens of moves and deployments. It wasn’t as consuming, we didn’t have time for it to be. But yes, in the moments that mattered, I still felt it. I still do now, and not having him here to reflect it back to me is what made losing him so hard.”

Dana nods tersely, looking out the window again as she sets her jaw against the tears. They still come, as she hasn’t mastered control over her tear ducts even after months of surreptitious crying.

“Mom,” she croaks out, turning back to look at the face of a person she knows loves her without question. “I think I made a mistake.”

“Oh, honey,” Maggie replies, tears filling her own eyes in sympathy for her child’s suffering. “There’s no mistake that can’t be fixed.”

Dana shakes her head and then lets it drop regretfully. “I can’t do that. To Ethan, to you. I already didn’t get married in the church, and I know how much shame a divorce would bring to you,” she says to her lap.

“Dana,” Maggie says with some exasperation, “do you realize that you’re suggesting that you should spend the rest of your life unhappily married because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings? Ethan will survive. He will find someone else who wants to be with him as much as he wants to be with them. I can certainly live through Marilyn Webber giving me the hairy eyeball at mass for a few weeks. You deserve to be happy, honey. And if that’s not possible with Ethan, you should move on.”

“Move on to what?” Dana asks in a whisper, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand.

“I don’t know, sweetheart. But you’ll never find out if you don’t start moving.”

———

She waits with a glass of wine in her hand, the third she’s consumed this evening waiting for him to come home, waiting to ruin his life so that she might save her own. He walks in the door sighing heavily, a sure sign of a bad day, and she’s afraid she might lose her nerve. He stops when he sees her perched in the armchair. It’s no accident that she chose a place where he couldn’t sit beside her.

“Dana, you’re home early,” he remarks, looking at her with confusion and a little concern.

“Uh, yeah. Can we- can you sit down, please? We need to talk.”

The worry in his eyes as he sits on the end of the couch closest to her makes her heart speed up. Just do it. Do it before you chicken out.

“Are you okay?” he asks hesitantly, and she nods her head emphatically.

“I’m fine, Ethan, it’s nothing like that.”

He looks at her expectantly, bracing himself. She closes her eyes.

“Ethan. You- you are a wonderful person. A wonderful husband.”

“But…” he interjects for her. She opens her eyes and sees that his expression has changed from worry to resignation. Almost like he knows what’s coming.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m just not- I don’t think we’re right for each other.” She takes a deep breath and a sip of wine. She’s almost there. Maybe he’ll take it the rest of the way for her.

He sits back on the couch, giving her an appraising look. “Since when, Dana? How long have you felt this way?” She can hear irritation in his tone.

She shakes her head gently. “That doesn’t matter, Ethan-”

He sits up abruptly and cuts her off. “It matters to me, Dana. Did you marry me knowing that your feelings had changed?”

She feels her chin pucker, the tears gathering in her eyes. She doesn’t respond.

He drops his head and gives a derisive little laugh, looking at the floor as he speaks. “I noticed the difference in you. I just didn’t want to believe it.” He lifts his head and there are tears in his eyes too, but his voice is steady. “Five years, Dana. What the hell happened to us?”

Mulder. Mulder happened to us, she thinks. But there is no value in telling him that.

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” she says in a strained whisper.

“Yeah, you said that,” he replies dryly. “So, what do you want, to go to counseling? Get divorced?”

She looks at her lap. “We don’t have to get divorced. We’re not technically married,” she says quietly, shame constricting her throat.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asks incredulously. “I did not hallucinate our wedding, I remember very clearly that you barely got through the vows.”

“Um, Charlie was supposed to sign the wedding license, we were supposed to sign it as well, and two witnesses, before it could be mailed in and registered with the state. Missy found it at Mom’s the next day, blank. I guess we all just forgot.”

He’s quiet for a long time. When she looks up at him, his jaw is set and angry tears are streaming down his cheeks.

“You were never going to tell me, were you?” he asks quietly.

She looks away.

“Goddamn it, Dana!” he shouts, slamming his palm down on the coffee table. She jumps at the sudden outburst.

“I’m so sorry,” she says again. She doesn’t know what else to say.

He stands and goes to put his coat and shoes back on. “I need to get out of here,” he says as he stuffs his wallet in his pocket and collects his keys. He’s almost out the door when he stops and turns back. “What happens now?”

“I’ll go stay at my mom’s for the week, so you can….” she can’t quite voice the rest.

“Move out. Right. This is your place. Always was. Well, I guess since we’re not actually married there’s nothing more to do. Good luck, Dana. I hope you figure out what you want.”

“I’m so sorry,” she says again.

“Yeah, me too,” he says before pulling the door closed behind him.

[thefanficmonster]

Never Satisfied [Chapter 2]

Corpse Husband x Original Female Character

Warnings: Language

Collaboration between Vy & Ashens 🖤

“this chick is crazy...and I kinda dig it“

It’s been four days since the incident and he’s all but forgotten about it, removed it from his memory entirely as if girls hide from police in his car on a regular basis. 

Today is colder than usual, and his body has been quick to respond to the change, aching around the joints. Some days it’s impossible to move, feeling his clothes and sandpaper and housing spikes as joints. Thankfully, today isn’t that bad, the pain is rather manageable. Which checks out well for him, considering he has to do some cleaning around his apartment. His skin itched at the sight of the mess his living space has become over the last few weeks he hasn’t been bothered to pick up the strewn about items or wash the dishes in the sink. 

Standing in his living room, he turns in a circle, taking in the disaster that is surrounding him. His chest tightens, throat closing up due to the overwhelmingness of the work he has ahead of him while all he wants to do is hide in his room, under the blankets of his bed that is for sure not willing to offer him much comfort at the moment, seeing as how it too is a mess. 

Forget about that! He isn’t sure if his mind is telling him to forget the task he has at hand or the comfort he has in mind. Either way, he knows what the right thing to do is. It may give him anxiety, but it has to be done. 

He clenches his jaw and closes his eyes, taking deep measured breaths and exhaling slowly just like his doctor had instructed him to do, in hopes to ease the tension around his lungs. 

Calming down a bit, he finally decides to get on with it, starting with the smallest space he has to clean, hoping accomplishing a small victory would fuel his ambition to move onto the actual rooms with a lesser struggle. So, pulling on his favorite hoodie and a beanie over his black curls, he slips out of the front door and down the stairs of his apartment complex with a trash bag in hand. He may hate cleaning, but he hates messes more, therefore it’s an easy call to make. Easy when putting the two in comparison, a struggle when he actually has to get on with the process of cleaning. 

With a deep breath as a final ‘You got this’ before action, he unlocks his car doors and looks around its interior. He starts off with the junk in the front - first tending to the passenger seat where he finds a couple plastic bags and a few water bottles. He keeps the area around the driver’s seat clean as can be, so he skips that side. Unfortunately, now he has to turn to the nightmare that is the backseats. 

While it may be tame, compared to most, the three paper bags, five disposable coffee cups that he’d dropped to the floor are more than enough to annoy him. He also makes a frustrating find of a hoodie, a few shirts, a hat, and what appears to be a forgotten CVS bag of medication. Much to his dismay, there’s more: handfuls of old receipts that he is now shoving into the garbage bag he has in hand along with straw wrappers, a few stray cold fries dating back to God-knows-when. He sighs, somewhat relieved to see the backseat is doing a lot better now than it was a couple minutes ago, though it’s not even entirely clean just yet. Something catches his eye though - a choker that was probably covered by one of the clothing items he had found. He picks it up, turning it over in his hand. It’s made of soft leather with a gunmetal ”C” and a pentagram embossed on it. It has a leather braided cord on both ends to tie together and no price tag or brand to indicate its origin. He can’t remember buying this...but then again, retail therapy is a thing and it wouldn’t be the first time he forgot a purchase. He gives it one final once-over before shrugging and pocketing it. After collecting the headphones he’d also dumped in the back and retrieving a pair of boots from the trunk, he locks up his car and heads back into the building, mentally preparing himself for facing the terror of cleaning his apartment.

Returning to his place after tossing the trash in the dumpster along the way, Corpse locks the front door behind him and proceeds to drop the things he’s brought back near the front door. 

This defeats the purpose of cleaning up in the first place, Corpse. He scolds himself but that’s what it remains at - just a scold. He slips the hoodie off his torso, but pauses when the leather collar falls to the floor. Tossing the clothing item on a dining room chair behind him, he picks up the choker and, without as much as a second thought, places it around his throat just below his Adam’s apple The metal feels cool against his skin and as he ties the leather cords at the back of his neck the corners of his lips curve upwards just a little. 

I probably look stupid. He thinks to himself. Corpse tries not to look much at his own reflection, mostly because it’s a reminder of how little sleep he gets with the dark circles and worn out, exhausted eyes staring back at him whenever he looks. But when he catches a glimpse of himself in his peripheral on his way to piss, he admires his reflection, or more so the way the black leather stands out across his pale skin. He’s gotta admit, it looks pretty cool. Edgy. Very urban. Goth maybe? But he still prefers the chains he’s known to wear over chokers.

After doing his business, he starts heading toward his office with the intention of recording a new story for his channel if he manages to find a decent submission - and also to ignore the cleaning he still had to do eventually - when the sound of someone banging on the door of his neighbor’s apartment makes him jump, thinking the sound was coming from his door instead. Being the nosey bitch he is, he creeps to his door, listening to the muffled and almost completely incomprehensible voices from across the hall. The screaming match taking place is making him rather nervous and anxious and as much as he’d rather hide in his room and pretend he never heard or saw anything, he also doesn’t want the altercation to escalate into anything physical. 

“You fucking bailed on me!” An angry female shout dominates over the other voice, a male one, that’s quick to follow the previous example with the tone volume.

“You almost got caught, it's not my fault you screwed up!” It’s the male’s turn to shout, his words intriguing Corpse.

Got caught? Screwed up what?

“Fuck you! You don’t just ditch like that! That’s such a dick move!” 

Ditched? If it wasn’t for the ‘getting caught’ part I would’ve thought it was a flopped date?

“I wasn’t about to get arrested for your klepto ass! I’m done with your shit!” The male voice takes the upper hand again, and though the female attempts to speak, she’s promptly cut off by the male, “No! No, I said I’m fucking done! Get the fuck out of my apartment!” A loud bang that sounded remarkably like a chair being flipped over made Corpse jump again with his thoughts once again racing to try and make sense of the situation. 

Klepto? So she’s a thief. Great. He rolls his eyes, not that he needed a reminder that he lives in a bad neighborhood, but he sure got it. He inhales slowly, finally deciding to check the aftermath in the hallway. Again, it isn’t his business whatsoever, but he can’t rest easy until he knows there isn’t an injured person outside his door right now. He peeks out the peephole before unlocking the door and sticking his head out to see a long haired individual still standing in front of his neighbor’s door. They have their back turned to him and are getting prepared to start banging on the door once again. 

“Little scared-ass bitch! I’ll be back for my shit!” She screams, kicking the door to punctuate her point. 

This chick is absolutely nuts. Everything in his gut is telling him to turn around and go back inside but his brain’s less-rational side is convincing him to check on her. He carefully steps into the hallway, swallowing nervously as he reaches out to tap her shoulder. “Are um-...you okay?”

The girl whips around, a furious expression on her face. Corpse makes a pause, his eyes widening at the sight of that familiar face.

Holy shit, I know this girl. 

Standing in front of him is the girl who leaped into the backseat of his car only a few days ago. 

Shit! What are the odds? 

She’s wearing a pair of black skinny jeans and a cropped sweatshirt with the quote “Mercury’s in Gatorade or Some Shit” written in bold letters and a solar system around it, with a leather jacket on top. 

His mouth dries when he makes a realization... 

Oh fuck. She’s way prettier in the natural light instead of that ugly light I saw her in that night. 

“Oh hey! Parking lot guy! What are y-...is that my choker?” She interrupts herself, looking closer at the black leather on his pale skin, her brows furrowing. He’d forgotten he was even wearing it to be honest, but she seems to recognize it. “That’s my fucking choker, dude! I’ve been looking everywhere for it!” She reaches up seemingly with the intention of taking it off him, causing his whole body to freeze up.

Finally finding his senses, Corpse takes half a step back, eyes slightly widened, “Woah, hey! Easy there, I’m pretty sure I bought this.” He warns, hands hesitantly held out in front of himself to try and create some distance between them. 

She seems not to take the hint at his desire for personal space as she reaches out again, stepping closer. “No, I made it with my own two hands, man! It’s got a C on it for my name - Cora.” She says sharply to the point of anger that honestly frightens him a bit. 

He quickly unties the leather straps, removing it from his neck. However, he refuses to give it back so easily as he holds it up out of her reach. 

Maybe if it isn’t on me she won’t be all up in his personal space. Yeah, it’s a bit evil, but he didn’t care. Besides, part of him is still mad about the fact she used his car as a hiding spot, shooting his anxiety through the roof in the process. 

“I feel like you owe me for those fries you stole last time we saw each other. Make it up to me and I’ll give it back. If it’s even yours, that is...” He says, brows furrowing slightly and eyes narrowing as he takes another step back. “And, you know, for nearly getting me busted by the police for something I wasn’t even a part of.” 

Sure, he was talking but her eyes are wandering analyzing him: first the silver chains around his neck that glimmer in the light and his dark hair, strands dangling carelessly as a curtain over his face. 

He too finds himself admiring her, memorizing her features better in this light. She has olive skin and sports a little bit of a tan. Stray locks of wavy dark brown hair hang around her ears having come loose from her messy bun. She has earthy brown eyes with flecks of green that he can’t help but stare at, despite their current sharpness. Her right arm is decorated with a few small tattoos: a skull of some sort of animal that appears to be puking flowers; a small cartoon t-rex floating via many colorful balloons and a brain with a spiky spiral in the center of it. She has a single line drawn around her pinky finger on the hand of the other arm and the shadowy silhouette of a forest around her wrist. However, the one thing Corpse could see better than all of that, was she is pissed. 

“Gimme my fucking choker back! I paid you for those fries, it’s not my fault you spent them on douchebag lessons!” She snaps, hopping to try and grab his arm. 

She is pressed up against him now, a wave of perfume hitting him when she attempts another jump. He holds the choker higher, maybe even subconsciously, just enjoying the warm presence of another body for as long as possible - not that he’d admit that. 

Corpse’s brief content comes crashing down as he stumbles backwards when he feels something hard on his hip and her hands grabbing at the front of his shirt. 

“Wait-“ He tries to say, but is cut off when a good amount of weight pulls at his jeans. “Oh Fuck!” He rasps out, dropping the choker as he slams onto the floor. In the split second he spared to take a breath, his pants had been yanked down to his knees and his neck was crooked up against his door. He’s now lying on the floor as the girl hovers over him having landed with her hand on top of his head and one leg over his chest while the other is pinning his arm down.

While remaining unmoving under the girl, he takes a moment to let the previous five seconds sink in before replaying them in his mind:

This small woman, Cora she said her name was, had put the boot clad toes of her left foot into the pocket of his baggy jeans to use as a stepping stool. In turn, they were shoved down, effectively pantsing him and tearing the pocket before knocking them both to the floor. 

Corpse leans against his door, jeans still around his knees, hair a mess as he watches Cora stand up from where she’d practically tackled him and equip the choker. 

“Serves you right.” She sticks her tongue out, tying the piece of jewelry behind her neck. “Now get up before someone calls the cops, we both know what happens then.” She rolls her eyes and bends down, offering her hands to help him up after he situated his trousers.

“Ah-um...I-...” anxiety started reigning in his chest and head as he realized everything that had happened. He takes both her hands and she uses all her weight to pull him up. Her pull was so strong that when he stood up, he had to hold her tight to keep her from falling back. He stabilizes her, maybe a little too hard because her chest collides with his. He apologizes under his breath, releasing her hands quickly. “Don’t people buy dinner first before yanking off their pants?” He snorts, trying to make light of the situation and crossing his arms over his chest. “But then again, you stole my dinner.” 

“Are you insinuating I should take off my pants?” She asks with a smirk. 

Corpse nearly chokes on his own inhale, eyes wide as he quickly looks away.

Oh my god is she serious? “N-no!” He says, perhaps too quickly. Too loudly. His cheeks turned dark pink as he gapes at her for a moment before furrowing his brows again. He hunches his shoulders a little, doing his best to avoid those sharp hazel eyes. 

She’s pretty. Way too pretty for him and now she has him all flustered. This girl has way too much power over the agoraphobic anxiety bundle that is Corpse. 

“Oh so you’re insinuating that I should buy you dinner since I took off your pants?” She prompts, eyes narrowing with a delighted little smirk on her face. She has to be enjoying watching him squirm in embarrassment, otherwise, why would she keep asking questions like that? Of course she does. She is like every other girl in his life.

“I’m..-just...Forget it.” He mumbles, shrinking back away from her as he turns to go back inside the safety of his apartment. 

She’s probably making fun of me. Great, as if I didn’t have enough self-esteem issues already.

Before he could get inside, a hand grabs his shirt at the small of his back. “Hey, I’m just fucking with you, dude.” She says, giving the shirt’s fabric a tug. 

He turns and looks at her with wary eyes, wondering if she was trying to goad him into falling for her taunting again. But the ice in her gaze has melted and she gives him a crooked smile. “Lemme buy you dinner to pay you back. It’s the least I can do after you helped keep my ass out of jail.” She releases his shirt after a brief moment of reluctance and then offers her hand to him for a handshake. “Oh, I should introduce myself, officially this time. I’m Cora.” 

Corpse looks at her hand and carefully takes it. She has small hands and his long fingers practically engulfed hers as he shakes it lightly. He gives her his name in return and she smiles that light filled, beaming smile he remembers from the car. 

“Nice to, um- meet you, I guess.” He finds himself staring at her, unknowingly still holding her hand in his until she looks up and grins a little wider. 

“This seems like a roundabout way to hold my hand, bro. You could have just asked,you know.” She teases, but this time it felt okay, his embarrassment having faded slightly, but he still hurries to look away and release his hold on her. 

Corpse murmurs a quick apology, but before he could stick his hand back into the ripped pocket of his jeans, she takes hold of it again, tugging him forward. “Come on, lock your door. I’ll buy you something to eat. You drive though.” She lets go of his hand after a moment and, much to his surprise, he catches himself missing the warmth that it provided him while it was there. Turning, he ducked into his apartment to grab his hoodie and keys, feeling suddenly thankful he’d cleaned his car out.

Taglist: @vixenl  @fockingwhore

[hermannsthumb]

I know you don't usually write PRU stuff, but if you ever feel inclined, here's a ficlet idea! so: Newt is trying to fight off the Precursors by constantly reminding himself that He Is Human. but whenever newt thinks about what makes him Feel Human, the answer is always hermann. so newt starts conjuring up vivid mental images of hermann (doing mundane, hermann-y things) to ward off the Precursors. bonus point if, like, newt fondly remembering smth innocuous (like the scent of Hermann's chalk dust?) is enough to actually sever the alien mind control.

Anonymous asked: Maria!!! Would you ever write an angsty post uprising prompt? Or even a pre uprising? Anything with Newt fucking around with Kaiju and being sad i am HERE FOR 👏

in honor of the sequel’s 3 year anniversary, let’s try something a little different 👀 THIS ONE GOT AWAY FROM ME RE: LENGTH....I'll leave it up to interpretation whether or not the bonus is wholly fulfilled.... also on proofing this I realized it might need content warnings? so vague refs to disordered eating and alcohol drinking (ie, newt’s body is inhabited by aliens who forget how human stuff works)

-----------

Honestly, Newt’s life has been kind of a shitshow lately. He’s too, like, high strung. Too many responsibilities. Not enough hours in the day to get that shit done. He’s even higher strung than he was during the war, which is nuts, because certain doom was lurking around every corner. Maybe that’s why it’s not that nuts, though. The war was chaotic—and Newt’s fueled (or, used to be fueled?) by chaos. The kaiju were unpredictable. The kaiju didn’t run on a 9-5 schedule. The kaiju didn’t expect Newt to have three new jaeger prototypes on their desk by noon on a fucking Saturday, which is usually the day Newt spends two hours in his expensive bath tub and drinks a nice bottle of wine, and definitely not a day he wants to spend giving himself a stress migraine and shouting at underlings to make themselves useful. On top of that, his usual cafe got his coffee order wrong—when Newt had to run in to get it, himself, on a Saturday morning—and it only had half the espresso shots he really needs for the day. No wonder he’s going grey at forty. Fucking nightmare. Stable employment is exactly the kind of chaos that’s bad for Newt—give him the kaiju any day, thanks.

“Dr. Geiszler?”

Newt pushes his sunglasses up, and scowls at whichever one of his employees has dared to interrupt his catnap. The fluorescent overheads are brutal on his poor eyes right now. The lab needs more natural lighting. Maybe if he complains, they’ll knock out some walls in put in a few more windows. “Did you find any Aspirin?” he says.

Wordlessly, Newt’s assistant passes him a bottle. Newt pops the cap off and takes at least four. The coffee he washes it down with is cold. “How are the last simulations coming along?” he says, flicking his sunglasses back down. He seems to have so many migraines these days. It’s the contact lenses, he thinks—making the switch over from frames so late in the game. Screwing with his perceptions. Newt went thirty years with frames, after all. “We only have two hours before—”

“We’re almost done,” his assistant cuts in. “We’re working as fast as we can, Dr. Geiszler.”

“But are we gonna make the deadline?” Newt says.

She fidgets, and moves her clipboard to her other arm. “Well—we’ve had some—issues.”

Newt stands up with a long sigh. Double overtime, probably. Sunday lost to this shit too. That new bottle of wine waiting for him on his kitchen counter bought for nothing. “Gotta do everything myself, huh? Unbelievable.”

He follows his assistant over to the main lab down the hall, where his team of j-techs are hurrying around. Hardly anyone in proper lab attire—no labcoats—someone in sweatpants—Newt wasn’t the only one who had his Saturday ruined, probably. No one else is going grey, though. “What’s this shit?” he says, stopping in his tracks with one foot through the doorway. The high-tech holo-smartboards have been pushed aside, and instead, someone’s wheeled in a huge…chalkboard.

“Technical issues,” his assistant says. “The other floors are having the same problem—something in the new interface update that downloaded last night, we think. They’re all out of commission. Technology is working on it, but for now, we had to pull that out of deep storage.”

Two of his scientists are scrawling across the board quickly—one with white chalk, the other with pink. They’re debating something in hushed tones. Newt hasn’t seen a chalkboard in years. It doesn’t fit with Shao Industry’s whole chic, sleek, futuristic aesthetic. So—bulky. And messy. “Of course it would happen today of all days,” Newt sighs. The sight of it makes him feel odd, and he can’t seem to drag himself any further into the lab and any closer towards it.

His assistant says something. Newt doesn’t hear—he’s listening, instead, to the squeaking of chalk across the blackboard. So noisy and obnoxious. It reminds him of years and years ago, of working in a grimy little basement, of…

“—look it over. Dr. Geiszler?”

“Hm?” Newt says. It was like a layer of fog had begun to lift from his thoughts, but the interruption sends it rolling right back in.

“I said we’re ready for you to look it over. Only if you want too, of course,” she adds, nervously.

“Uh-huh,” Newt says.

Newt’s never had anyone fear him before, not like his employees seem to fear him—he’s not sure he likes it. His scientists shut up the second he looms over (well—under, Newt’s never loomed over anyone in his life) their shoulders to inspect their work so far. The squeaking stops. One of them lowers their piece of chalk. “Wait,” Newt says, too-loudly, surprising them and himself. They both look at him with the same nervousness as his assistant, like he’s about to start shouting or something. “Keep doing that.”

“Keep…?”

“Writing,” Newt says. “On the chalkboard.”

The scientist frowns at him. “Um, okay,” she says. “What am I supposed to write?”

“Anything,” Newt says. “Seriously. Anything.”

She hesitates.

“Anything,” Newt repeats.

She picks up the white chalk, and writes out her name, then doodles a few random pictures—a DNA helix, a flower, a cat face, a star. Newt shuts his eyes, and breathes in deeply. That smell. He snags the forgotten piece of pink chalk from the ledge. “Can I have this?” he says. He doesn’t wait for them to respond—though they both nod yes frantically, and bewilderedly—before writing out his own name on the board. Dr. Geiszler. It looks wrong, so he writes Newt beneath it. He shuts his eyes, and writes Newt again. Why does he feel like he’s done this sort of thing before? This thing is ancient—before his time at Shao—he wouldn’t have used it before they carted off to the basement. Newt, Newt, Newt Was Here,he writes, Newt +, and then he stops.

He opens his eyes. “Who’s Hermann?” his assistant says.

Newt + Hermann. Newt didn’t realize he wrote it. “Someone I knew,” he says, faintly. “Years ago. He was my—” He swallows. He feels strange. “My colleague?”

Strange. Dizzy. The Aspirin isn’t working. Definitely the contact lenses. He could afford laser eye surgery now, if he wanted, maybe he should look into it. He grips the ledge of the chalkboard, swaying, and grits his teeth; his two scientists back away from him slowly, no doubt worried he’s about to hurl all over their shoes. He might, to be honest. Newt + Hermann. Hermann was his colleague. Hermann was his— “Are you feeling okay, Dr. Geiszler?” his assistant asks. “You look…”

“Tell Shao I’m taking the rest of the day off,” Newt says.

“What?”

“You guys got this shit handled without me,” Newt says. He pockets the chalk. “I’m not—I’m not feeling myself. I think I need to go home and lie down. Seriously, you’ve got it under control—all these numbers look, uh, good, I trust you. If you guys don’t get it finished you can just tell Shao it’s my fault, okay?”

She gapes at him. “Uh,” she says. “Okay?”

Newt doesn’t go home. He goes to the nearest shop he can find instead, and makes a beeline for the art supplies aisle. Only a few boxes of chalk in stock. Four multicolored, two all-white, one yellow. He drops them all into his basket but the yellow, which he rips opens and immediately smells. Newt + Hermann. Hermann always smelled like chalk dust—he always had a fine layer of it on his clothing, patches of it on his blazer, his sweatervest, even on his undershirt. Newt used to tease him for that. He closes his eyes, and breathes in again. Funny—all those baths, all those bottles of wine, and this stupid little box of chalk is what’s finally making him feel calm for once. Quieting down his brain. He didn’t realize how loud it’d gotten in there. When Hermann would kiss Newt, he would sometimes stain Newt’s clothing with chalk, too, and Newt would pretend to be annoyed, but he never really was.

Someone is speaking to him. An employee. They’re staring at him, a cautious distance away, and Newt’s not sure what they’re saying.

His vision’s gone blurry—he didn’t realize he’d started crying, either. He wipes his eyes on the cuff of his blazer and sniffles. “Sorry,” he says. The box of yellow chalk is wet. “Um. Do you have any more of these in the back?”

He takes the bus home for the first time in years, one hand stuffed in his little brown shopping bag the whole time, wrapped around a box of chalk. When he gets back to his apartment (his big, lonely, apartment), he pulls out the only food in his fridge—some leftovers from a Shao Industries event three nights ago—and settles down on his big, lonely couch. He can’t stop thinking about Hermann. Five or so years, maybe more, not thinking about Hermann, and now suddenly—it’s like the floodgates have opened. He thinks about Hermann’s haircut. (Bad.) He thinks about Hermann’s smile. (Silly, and sweet.) He thinks about Hermann’s dumb accent, and the clack of Hermann’s cane on the floor, and Hermann’s chalk squeaking over his chalkboard, and how it felt when Hermann would wrap him in his arms and kiss him and whisper things to him. Hermann’s sweaters always smelled like mothballs and stale cigarette smoke. Terrible combination.

Newt’s stomach growls. He’s finished the small bit of leftovers without realizing, and is apparently still hungry. He would kill for some sushi takeout right now. Or pizza, God. Yeah, it’d be screwing with his new diet and fitness plan—he casts a guilty glance over at his brand new exercise bike, which is gathering dust in the corner by his TV—but he’s tired of doing stupid kale and juice cleanses or whatever, just to please—well. He’s only human.

He is?

He walks up the stairs to his bathroom, and stares at himself in the mirror. Stupid vest. Stupid tie. Neat hair, clean-shaven cheeks, contact lenses. Newt’s only human. “I’m human,” he tells his reflection. Is he human? He felt human standing by that old chalkboard back in the lab, and holding that box of yellow chalk in the aisle of that little shop. He felt human when he was remembering things. Because of—Newt blinks at himself. Because of whom?

“Hermann,” he says, and smiles at the way the name makes him feel. He should text him, maybe.

-------------

“I must say,” Hermann says, “I was quite surprised when I received your dinner invitation. You’ve done a rather fine job of ignoring my calls as of late. I’d thought— Ah, thank you,” he adds, as Newt holds the door open for him. He steps into Newt’s apartment and cranes his neck around, squinting curiously, and then shoves a bottle of red wine at Newt’s chest. Hermann is much more personable than Newt remembers—what little Newt remembers—and he wonders if it’s age or something else. “I’ve been holding onto this one for a while. It’s the one you gave me as a part of a gift for my thirty-seventh birthday—you remember? Oh, but isn’t it so terrifically, er, modern in here.”

“Is it?” Newt says. He’s never given much thought to his apartment before, but he stares around at it now in mild interest. It is very chic, isn’t it? Monochrome. Impersonal. Not something Newt would’ve picked for himself. “Yeah, I had some interior decorators come in and do it for me.”

Hermann arches an eyebrow. “How…”

“Modern,” Newt offers. He puts the bottle of wine on his marble kitchen island. “Thanks for this, by the way, but I’ve actually been trying to cut back on the—” He bites back drinking. No need to alarm Hermann. “—Calories, so if it’s cool with you I’d rather not open it. I’m doing a, um, a new fitness program.”

“Ah,” Hermann says. “I suppose that explains that, then, doesn’t it?” He points at the dusty exercise bike. Newt watches his gaze move from that, to the barren leather couch, to the short staircase which leads to Newt’s shut bedroom door. Newt can practically see the gears working in his head. “Will—ah, what was their name, that little flight of fancy of yours—a dalliance, one might say—will they be, ah, joining the two of us?” He looks at Newt out of the corner of his eye. “Alice, was it?”

“Who?” Newt says, blankly.

Hermann breaks out in a broad grin, which he quickly tries, very badly, to turn into a sympathetic frown. He pats Newt’s arm. “There’s the spirit, then, Newton! All in the past, I presume? Hardly any use in dwelling on a broken heart. Then again—it’s not as if you were together long enough to warrant those sorts of dramatics, were you?” he says, cheerily. “What I mean is—certainly it wasn’t as if you had any sort of deep or emotional connection with—?—oh, I’ve forgotten the name again.”

“Uh,” Newt says. He’s not really sure who Hermann’s talking about, but just based on that fact alone, he would assume Hermann is right. “I guess not?”

“Precisely as I expected,” Hermann says, with a satisfied nod. “Rotten grounds for a relati—for a fling. You deserve far better, Newton.” Hermann touches Newt’s arm again, and this time, he doesn’t move his hand. It makes Newt’s skin prickle pleasantly. “You look well these days, though I admit it’s a bit of a shock to see you without your glasses,” Hermann continues, flicking his eyes up and down Newt twice. He lingers on Newt’s left hand, over the bare spot where—until this morning, when he suddenly realized how stupid it looked and yanked it off—he was wearing that Elvis ring. “Ending things must be treating you kindly. I don’t suppose I could dash to your loo?”

“Loo?” Newt says. “Oh, right. Yeah, it’s that door there, right off the living room.” He drops down onto the leather couch. “Knock yourself out. I’ll be right here.”

Hermann disappears into Newt’s bathroom, and comes back out three minutes later with combed hair, a straightened collar, and the vague smell of cologne. He’s tucking a small bottle into his top pocket. “I found a box of hair dye in your medicine cabinet,” he declares, smugly. “I knew there was no bloody way that was natural. Though I’m not surprised it fooled Alice.” He rests his cane against the glass coffee table and sits down next to Newt. Right next to Newt. The whole sofa to pick from, and he’d rather their thighs touch. Newt doesn’t mind—actually, the contact is strangely grounding, like Hermann’s hand on his arm had been earlier. He’s here, in his living room, with Hermann, his friend Hermann, his colleague Hermann, his—well, question mark—Hermann.

“Hermann, can I ask you something?” he says. “Something important?”

“By all means,” Hermann says, leaning in and fluttering his eyelashes. Even over the cologne, Newt can still make out that mothball-chalk-smoke smell.

“Do you take your coffee with sugar?” he says.

Hermann laughs. “Do I—what?”

Newt repeats the question. The smile slips off Hermann’s face, and he draws away, furrowing his eyebrows. “Well,” he says, “yes, usually, only I’m not sure what—”

“Sugar, and some milk,” Newt says. “It was the same with your tea. And you had a mug that you would use—you wouldn’t use any other. It was blue, and it said—” He exhales through his nose. “It said TU Berlin. That’s where you got your PhD.”

After Newt sent Hermann a text about dinner last night, he sat down with a pen and pad of paper and made a list of everything he could remember about Hermann. He started with what Hermann looks like, and who Hermann is, and then moved into the harder stuff like what Hermann likes and the sort of things Hermann used to do. He stayed up all night doing it, until his hand cramped and his head hurt even more than it had that morning, and then recited it over and over to himself in a whisper as he fell asleep. Hermann has brown eyes. Hermann likes blackberry jam on his toast. Hermann wears little glasses on a chain. Hermann uses a cane with a tiny little nick in the brass of the handle. The list is in his pocket now; it makes Newt feel calm, and even calmer when he reaches into his pocket and touches it. He exhales again, hard, and then inhales. “We were together,” he says. “When we closed the Breach, you told me you loved me.”

“I did,” Hermann says, quietly.

“I said it back,” Newt says.

Hermann nods.

Slowly, Newt reaches out and puts his hand over Hermann’s. Hermann makes a strange noise in the back of his throat—like a sigh, or maybe a groan. His pulse twitches erratically under Newt’s fingertips. “I bought chalk,” Newt says.

“You—” Hermann echoes, his voice choked. “You bought chalk?”

“It reminded me of you,” Newt says.

He’s not surprised when Hermann kisses him, but he is surprised at his knee-jerk reaction: to pull away, or push Hermann away, and to order him to get out of his apartment. He’s surprised, because those aren’t his thoughts. He doesn’t want Hermann to leave—he wants Hermann to stay longer, and kiss him more, and help him remember more. “Oh, Newton,” Hermann says. “Newton, Newton—” He moves his mouth to Newt’s neck, kissing, breathing, and whispering his name, and Newt shuts his eyes and forces himself to remember his list.

“Tell me things about you,” Newt begs. “I want to remember you.”

Hermann’s laughter, hesitant and confused, comes out in a puff of hot air against his skin. “Remember me?” he says. “I’m not sure— Are we not a bit—?”

“Hermann,” Newt says.

He grips the back of Hermann’s sweater, digging his nails in Hermann’s skin through the layers of fabric. Hermann must hear the urgency in his voice, because he shakes his head with another laugh, kisses Newt’s jaw, and says, “Well, alright. What am I even meant to tell you?”

“Your favorite color,” Newt says. Hermann kisses his chin. “Your favorite song. No, wait—” He nudges Hermann away from him, just enough so that Hermann can see him smile. “Tell me what you like about me.”

“Feeling rather egotistical tonight, aren’t we?” Hermann teases. He reaches out and brushes his fingers through the side of Newt’s hair. One of the spots Newt dyed—it was too grey. He catches Hermann’s hand by the wrist and pulls it away gently, but only to press himself up against Hermann’s chest instead. He can feel Hermann’s heartbeat. “I like—hm,” Hermann says. “I like your stubbornness. I like your passion. I like…”

His voice vibrates in his throat—Newt can feel that, too. He listens.

[kickingitwithkirk]

Deuxième Omega: Part II

Summary: Jensen is not dealing well with his unexpected divorce and before the ink is even dry, he is pushed into another union with a complete stranger.

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Omega!OFC

Word Count: 2859

Warnings: A/B/O, angst, angry Jensen, cursing, illness, arranged marriage, divorces, talk of Alpha dominance over Omega, suspected eating disorder, past abuses, vehicle drama

A/N: Sorry this took so long to get this part out, my antique laptop decided to eat over 2,000 words and have had to piece back together from memory so hopefully it makes sense.

A/N II: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles family. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse. 

Part I

*Supernatural doesn’t end in season 15 and some dates/events have been altered to fit the story.

*no beta, all mistakes are mine

The Next Day

Jensen waves his hand around again at that buzzing insect driving him crazy. He’s finally conscious enough to recognize the sound, it wasn’t a bug but his phone vibrating incessantly. Picking his head up and instantly regretting it starts patting around the bed for his phone.

“lo...”

“Are you still drunk?” A deep, honey-whiskey and way too damn loud for the morning voice barked at him.

“Jared?”

“No, fucking Misha.”

“Too early for your shit Jay...”

“Dude, it’s three-thirty in the afternoon.”

“WHAT!” Jensen yells sitting up too fast, the pain ricocheting throughout his head sends him flying off the bed, barely making it to the toilet before regurgitating everything he ingested last night. The toilet automatically flushes as he sits back against the bathtub groaning like a dying water buffalo.

“Really wish you'd hung up before sharing that,” Jared quips in a queasy voice, “I’m gonna regret this but Face Time me.”

Jensen cracked his eyes open enough to locate the button and tapping it Jared appears dressed in his running gear with a bandana holding his hair back. “No offense but you look like hammered shit. I was gonna call earlier but Gen threatened to have my left nut if I did.”

Jensen grunts and closes his eyes against the bright outdoor light emanating from the phone.

“Are you…” Jensen tunes him out for a minute then,“ ‘cause there’s something you need to know about, it’s really bad.”

He opens his eyes and it’s worse than he could have imagined going by the expression on Jared’s face.

“One of your clan sold you out, got it all on cellphone video, social media’s blowing up. Hell, even Fox News Channel picked it up.”

Jensen listens to the description of his expressions at the surprise traditional ceremony, his drunken stumbling around the reception with his new wife submissively following, his scoffing at the speeches during the reception and ignoring his silent, veil wife sitting next to him.

“My favorite bit was Alan and Josh carrying you out of the can.”

Jared's expression turned serious, “People are talking, we can't cover for you anymore. I got a text from higher ups cause no one could get hold of you for obvious reasons. PR’s gotta get ahead of this.”

“I’m a fuckup.”

“Yeah but we still love you. So, what's her name?”

Jensen licked his lips, biting the bottom one.

“Please tell me you know her name.”

“I..I don't even know what she looks like Jay.”

Jared ran his hand over his mouth, “The first thing you do is get up, take a shower and brush your goddamn teeth. Then you apologize, fucking supplicate yourself, to your new wife..unless you’ve already decided to put her aside.”

Jensen's head snapped up unbelieving that his friend, the man who was his brother in every way except blood, could think that of him.

“You really believe I could do that?”

Jared smiled, “No, you're too good of a man, an Alpha, to do that. I want you to remember one thing, in all this, she’s not the one who screwed you over.”

***

Jensen stepped out the shower forgoing shaving since the show was on a short break. He wiped the steam from the mirror and stared at this haggard expression and developing beer gut. I’ve got to get back on my exercise routine. Makeup and wardrobe could only mask so much.

Reaching for his bath kit he knocked a hand towel off the counter. Bending over to retrieve it he noticed a shoe with netting in the wastebasket. Pulling it out he saw a brown smear inside one of the heels, remembering how much trouble she had with them last night and made a mental note to inquire about her feet.

Washing his hands and searching through his kit realizing he’d forgotten his toothbrush. Opening on the cabinets he located the complementary ones. As he’s brushing Jensen sees another brush sitting in a glass by the other sink with a neatly folded hand towel and hanging washcloth.

Huh, she must have forgotten hers too.

Tossing his kit bag in the suitcase he dressed in a pair of well worn jeans and a T-shirt. Quietly entering the common area the curtains set open just enough for him to see her curled up on the couch, still in her wedding dress, asleep. He walked over to check on her when a knock at the door made her bolt upright.

“It's room service, I asked them to text so not to wake you.” He answered the door and had a brief word with the waiter who apologized, the ticket didn’t say not to knock. They deposited a coffee decanter, several covered dishes, bottles of water and left taking the cart with them.

Jensen sat down and before he could ask how she took her coffee, his wife scrambled off the couch and was kneeling at his feet, head bowed and hands folded in her lap.

“What are you doing?” He asked incredulously, having never seen anyone do this before.

“Awaiting you instructions Alpha.”

“Instruc...get up!” He gripped her upper arm, shocked at how far his fingers wrapped around it and helped her to the other chair. Sitting back down Jensen got his first look at his new wife.

Sleep tousled, dark blonde hair frame cheekbones overly prominent for the shape of her face, wide set eyes a blue-grey color with amber rings around the pupils. Her lips were full, the bottom lip slightly off center. She was not the Hollywood standard of beauty he was used to, and if compared to them, she’d only be considered moderately pretty.

“I was only doing what is expected…”

“Kneeling at my feet like an obedient dog!” He barked as she said, “..of the Omega.”

“What’s expected?”

“In the book..”

“Please look at me when speaking.” She raises her eyes but doesn’t meet his, “..it states that the Omega is subservient and the act of humbling ourselves shows respect for the Alpha, as is their due.’

Jensen sat back shocked, running both of his hands through his still damp hair, making it stand up to resemble a hedgehog. He was in over his head and, for one of the few times in his life, didn’t know what to do and the first person he would have turned to for advice had banned all communication.

He took a deep breath to refocus and leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs to look her in the eye, “I need you to forget what I said last night. I..I’m angry, feels like I..we..were ambushed by this situation. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, I’m sincerely sorry.”

“I don’t understand, are you apologizing to me?”

“It’s what people do when they’ve done something wrong and what I did was unforgivable. I want to make it up to you if you’ll let me and hopefully we can make a go of this.”

She looked at him dubiously but nodded once.

***

Jensen finished the last dregs of his coffee while packing, having decided to head back to Austin tonight. Clif had texted him he was ready whenever they were.

Sitting down on the bed he listened to the running shower and reaching his phone picked it up to start recording a video message.

He apologized for his atrocious behavior the last two years, asking the fans not to take it out on the show, this was all on him. To his coworkers for having to cover for him, they should have never been put in that position and if he had better character they wouldn’t have had too.

He next apologized to his family for his inexcusable behavior last night, which should have stayed private within their clan, and fully accepted his banishment by the clan leader, his father, for however long he deemed fit.

He lastly apologized to his new wife, they were irrecoverably tied together and he’d do whatever she demanded from him to make up for the horrendous treatment he’d shown her and hoped she’d give him a chance to make a go of their marriage.

He uploaded the video to his few online accounts and turned the phone off, wearily running a hand over his face. Getting up to take one last look he found his jacket from the wedding hanging in the closet.

Folding it he hears a crinkling noise and reaches into the inner pocket finding the marriage certificate. Tossing the jacket on the bed he unrolls the certificate reading his wife’s name Iseult.

“It’s pronounced Ee-sult Alpha.”

Jensen's head jerked up in surprise, “Hey, um, we're heading out as soon as you're ready.”

“Oh, okay, I’ll need you to button my dress Alpha.” She said repacking his bath kit she'd borrowed.

Jensen furrowed his brow, “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in something else, I mean, I’m telling you what to wear but it’s a three hour drive to my..our home.”

Iseult looked down playing with one of the pearlescent buttons, “When I married my hus..ex husband, our prenup stated that I only got what I had in my possession at the time. Apparently, he disposed of my things at some point,” she fanned out the shirt, “this dress, shoes and veil, your mother purchased them otherwise the media would have had a lot more to exploit at my..our expense Alpha.”

“Let me give you something of mine.”

“Anything of yours will swallow me, you're much more solid. There is a Walmart on..” she abruptly stopped at Jensen's raised eyebrow, “I’m sorry Alpha, I overstepped my place.” She bowed her head and hunched her shoulders, exuding the scent of fear as if she is expecting punishment from him.

What had happened to this woman to make her believe she should cower and gravel? Jensen manages to keep his anger in check, not wanting her to be more scared of him than she was, thinking who the hell is her ex-husband and what had he done to make her like this?

Jensen slowly walked behind her and gripping the fabric was once again dismayed at how prominent her shoulder blades were, his gut telling him her slenderness wasn't something natural.

As he fastened the buttons he spoke in the gentle voice he used when Jared's daughter Odette was upset, “If you can survive till tomorrow I’ll take you to get whatever you need.” She nodded once.

“Can I make one request Alpha?”

“You don’t have to request anything, just ask.”

“I have a prescription I need refilled, there’s a pharmacy on Wilmont, it’s on the way.”

He plucked the jacket off the bed and held it open, “Please, it's getting chilly.” She slid her arms into the sleeves and Jensen saw she was right about being swallowed. He put on his ball cap and headed out.

When they got off the elevators Jensen went deeper into the hotel. He stopped at an employees only entrance off the kitchen and knocked twice. A double knock answered and he pushed it open to reveal a waiting SUV. He introduced Clif and handed him the bag, taking it to the vehicle's rear and loaded it before getting back in.

The wind had started picking up ahead of the late autumn thunderstorm. Iseult grabbed her whipping hair in one hand and her skirt in the other as Jensen opened the back door.

“Iseult?”

“I was waiting for you Alpha, its proper etiquette.”

“I was raised it’s proper for a lady to enter first, please,” he held his hand out to her.

Iseult released her hair and hesitantly took his hand. Jensen felt a skittering sensation go up his spin as Iseult quivered, staring into his eyes as a whirling wind intermingled their scents, enthralling them.

Clif politely coughed, “We need to go before the bottom falls out.”

A tremendous thunderclap sent them scrambling into the car as the heavens let loose.

***

The trip to Austin was darker than usual, the weather slowing the drive back and with the incident at the pharmacy, Jensen still couldn’t believe it, refusing the prescription now that she was married to an Alpha, needing his verbal consent.

Clif interceded before he went off about the subjugation of Omegas in modern society, reminding him they were in predominantly conservative Texas, where this thinking was considered normal, not California.

Jensen glanced over to see Iseult staring out the window when his phone vibrated. Picking it up from the cup holder he saw a text from Josh.

>Jenny, know I’m not supposed to be in touch but call me!!! Need to know the shit going down here.<

Josh picked up on the first ring, “Man, all hell breaking loose. Your wife's ex didn't notify his clan that he was divorcing or remarrying her and they’ve filed an appeal with the Pack council to get her back.”

“We were married in the Traditional...”

“The fuck Jenny, did living in La La land make you forget everything? Your the second son of a clan leader, you know Pack law supersedes all federal, state and religious laws. They’ve dug up some obscure sub-clause that states a clan has first right to remarry an Omega within the clan and if they don’t whoever takes them must pay settlements.”

“What are settlements?”

“Has your brain fallen out of your ass? The bride price.”

“Josh, that's insane, it's 2020....”

“No shit Sherlock, but this is Texas. Fuck, dads back already. I’m gonna leave my phone on, keep your goddamn mouth shut or it's gonna be my ass too!”

Jensen can’t make out anything then his mother clearly says, “..they are asking what for her?”

“Ten million.”

“Your shitting me!”

“Joshua, language young man.”

“Five of it’s compensation for damages done to the Omega.”

“What damages? Jenny’s got a temper, what Alpha doesn’t, but he wouldn’t hurt anyone unless he was forced to.”

Alan cleared his throat in the manner Jensen had come to know that something’s making him uncomfortable. “It seems the Omega was..unsullied when she married her ex-husband.”

“Holy shit! You mean she’s never been with an Alpha before Jensen?”

“Joshua, I will not tolerate that language and we will absolutely not discuss your brothers new wife’s...virtue.”

Jensen hears the tinkling of glass, “Donna, did you know about any of this?”

“Well..no, of course not.” Her answer wasn’t very convincing.

“Donna, what are you not saying?” Alan’s Alpha voice resonated, he only used it when his mate was being evasive about something she’d done.

“When Danneel wasn’t willing to reproduce for Jensen I put out some feelers about finding him an Omega…”

“Jesus Fucking Christ! Even if it is acceptable for Jensen to have a second wife with Danneel being a Beta, he would never agree to it.”

“I’m not telling you again about your language. I might have, at one of my appointments, casually indicated to Brent that I wanted an Omega like his.”

Who the hell is this Brent?

“Wait, Brent Worthington?!”

Jensen dropped his phone. It smacked against his other hand turning on the speaker allowing everyone in the car to hear.

“Donna, have you any idea what you’ve done?”

“I never thought he'd actually offer her, they always seemed so happy together.”

“He took your casual indication as an actual offer for his wife. You do understand that while we have to deal with each other they are still our rivals.”

The Ackles and Worthingtons were two of the original founding clans of the Dallas Pack, and rivals for centuries. Iseult had been married to the only Beta son of Abraham, the Clans Alpha, like Alan.

Josh’s voice shook as he spoke, “Mom, if the council decides to return her do you have any idea what they’ll do if Jensen’s already mated and claimed her?”

There’s a ringing phone and Alan answered, his voice loud then faint, apparently pacing around the room.

In the SUV dim interior Jensen could see Iseult shaking, awaiting the decision.

“The council sided with the Worthington's stating the law…”

Jensen’s inner Alpha raged, loosening a wrawl causing Clif to jerk the wheel, swerving across the wet lanes, throwing Jensen against the seat in front of him, landing on the floorboard before the vehicle was under control and stopped on the shoulder. Twisting around he sees Clif opening the back door checking on Iseult while Alan’s voice filled the otherwise silent SUV.

“...but taking into consideration today’s social climate they came back with the final decision since she remarried another clan leader's son her status is unchanged, so if we send her back there’s no penalty for damages. If we choose to keep her, it’s five million due to the Omegas age.”

“What did you tell them dad?”

“I told them we were keeping her, I won’t be the cause of anymore upheaval in my son's life. However,” Alan’s voice turned hard, “the council has ordered additional financial penalties set against both clan leaders for the transgressions committed by their families.”

“How much?”

“I paid twenty-five million for a Deuxième Omega.”

tbc

SPN: @donnaintx​​​​​​​

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva​​​​​​​

[tooruluv]

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 3 )

❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞

description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.

genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough

word count: 2,210

warnings/notes: um yeah. this one moves fast, but this whole fic is basically about this one scene, this one part. so enjoy. no serious warnings, just strong language and some gay shit. angst.

tag list: @afuckingunicornn​

prev | next

“You’re... gay?” you whispered.

“It isn’t a fucking slur, you drunk ass.” Iwaizumi spoke, shoving you with his arm (making you hit your head on the door, but you barely noticed). “And I don’t know what exactly I am, but I just know it’s not straight.”

“Matsu?” you turned to the other boy. 

“I’ve been gay, and Iwa is sexy as fuck so who am I to deny his sexual awakening?”

It almost made you laugh.

It was hot in the closet. Dark. And you were squished in between two (very tall) men. A single light hung from the ceiling, swaying slightly.

“I uh,” You were so numb. You played with your sleeves. “I watched ‘Kawa make out with this girl. Stood there like an idiot and watched it happen. And it… it sucks to like know about it but to see it…to watch it happen…it’s way worse.”

“Oh,” They both said, sadness laced behind a whisper.

“You were going to tell him, weren’t you?” Matsukawa inquired.

You gasped, turning wide-eyed to Iwaizumi. He held his hands up in surrender. “You told him?” and “I didn’t tell him I swear!” coming out of both of you at once.

“I knew for, like, years now.” Matsukawa interrupted. “You’re the most obvious person ever, just so you know. You might as well be the fucking heart eye emoji whenever you look at him.” He paused to gauge your reaction, which was nothing. “Back to my question: you were going to tell him, weren’t you?”

“I..” you bit the inside of your cheek. “Yeah, I think so? I don’t know. I just know I really wanted to talk to him and see him and hear his voice. And I still do. But now my mind is full of him and the really pretty brown-haired girl exchanging spit.”

“Gross.”

“Maybe we should get out of the closet and get some air.”

The next morning, you woke up on the floor in the guest bedroom. Iwaizumi had taped a piece of paper to your forehead (“drink water” it said), and a blanket was wrapped around your upper body. You could not remember what happened after leaving the closet, how you ended up in the guest room, or why you were on the floor and not in the perfectly good bed above you.

But, nonetheless, you got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen. Where the fuck is Oikawa?

A loud thump interrupted your thoughts. Yup, there he was. You let out an annoyed groan as he decided to make the most noise possible on his way to the kitchen.

You pulled yourself onto the counter, wanting to slam your head against the cabinet. You never got hangovers, why was today the day you got one?

“Well don’t you look beautiful this fine morning.” Oikawa greeted, smiling.

He always looked his best in the morning, you thought. He may come across as perfect, but it makes your heart do flips when he comes in with bed head and his glasses on. Not to mention he looked absolutely gorgeous in the morning sunlight, beaming and bright.

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” Your eyes were still closed.

You heard movement, a cabinet open then close, and only opened your eyes when he stood in front of you (in between your legs, no less). You held your breath.

“I look amazing, and you know it.” He was so close you could feel his breath. He brushed his teeth, the smell of mint circling you. Why was he so close?

He reached forward, pressing his hand to your forehead. Still half awake and clearly extremely hungover, you leaned into his touch as he moved his hands to your cheeks. His eyes scanned your face, but your eyes never moved from his.

His hands paused and stayed on your neck, just below your jaw. Hovering.

Unconsciously, you leaned forward. Only a little bit.

And he did too.

Your lips were so close. If you wanted to, you could kiss him. Just like that. A few centimeters away, and you could do what you’ve wanted to do for years. Feel what it would be like to be one of the many girls who had their lips against his. The air was so tense, so full of something you couldn’t explain. Just a few centimeters. Was he leaning in too?

He moved back.

“Medicine for your head, and you have a little bit of a fever so there’s something for that too.” Oikawa spoke. His voice sounded deeper, but maybe you were just thinking things. A small cough from him. He put pills into your hand. “You get something to drink. I’ll start picking up trash, you’re on…”

“Cups and cans duty.” You finished. It was always the routine. “Thank you.”

“Don’t slack off too much, you fucking drunk.” He joked, smiling at you with a trash bag in his hand.

You rolled your eyes at him, throwing the nearest empty can at him. You smiled, but your heart was aching.

The first time Oikawa had ever thrown a party, it was a disaster. 

People flooded the house, though it was only supposed to be a small get-together and ended up a huge banger. The school talked about it for a while. An increase in his popularity.

The two of you were left to pick up the mess. 

“Where the fuck do we start?” you asked, staring into the abyss that was once his living room.

“I’ll pick up the garbage and you pick up the cans and bottles?” Oikawa suggested. “If my mom finds any alcoholic beverage in this house she will pelt me with my own volleyballs.”

“I’ll help too.” Oikawa’s older brother said from the doorway, trashbag in hand. “Let’s get to work. We only have until six.”

Matsukawa soon joined your routine.

For the past month or so, Iwaizumi would eat lunch with you in the library as you studied for the entrance exams. Oikawa would join sometimes, or he would come right before lunch was over. He liked to eat lunch in the cafeteria, liked to “have that break from studies”. You two didn’t mind, you got more done without him distracting anyway.

Matsukawa had become your third-party during Lunch Study Dates. You didn’t complain, and you didn’t ask the two of them what exactly their relationship was. You joked with Iwaizumi that you were simply there to hide the fact they never stopped flirting. He would just laugh.

“Wait, you almost kissed?” Iwaizumi asked, studies long forgotten.

“I think so, yeah.” You kept your eyes on your paper. “It was weird, and the air was super heavy. And he hasn’t talked to me since. Not even while we were cleaning.”

“Not even a text?” Matsukawa asked.

“Not even a wave in the hallway.”

“Now that’s weird.”

“You’re telling me.” You finally looked up. “I.. Nothing has ever happened between us like that. Ever. And it was so out of nowhere, like, you would think our first almost kiss would be some cool moment or something. But it was just us, and I was hungover as fuck, and we just spent the rest of the afternoon in silence. And all that there has been since is just that. Silence.”

“I’m sorry, love.” Matsukawa reached over to place his hand over your wrist. “You know what. Tooru is an idiot. He is. I would have kissed you.”

“You’re gay.”

“And I would’ve kissed you. That’s the highest compliment you can receive. Accept it, woman.”

Growing up with Tooru Oikawa, you knew many things about the boy that many didn’t. You knew that he always put extra syrup on his pancakes and waffles, you knew that he always preferred hot showers rather than the cold ones his mother always tells him to take for soreness, and you knew that he practiced more than anyone could imagine.

He grew up with a volleyball attached to his side. He set it whenever he could, he would serve it into your yard (and then go get it and serve it back into his). He would ask you to join, but you always just watched.

Growing up with Tooru Oikawa also made you witness his growth. And you think that’s another reason you fell in love with him.

His passion was indescribable. You couldn’t count how many times people (including yourself) have told him to relax, take a day off, remind him to eat and drink. But his heart was in it, no matter how much it distracted him from daily fleets. You admired him for that.

You didn’t have that Thing growing up. You tried a lot of different things, different hobbies and sports and classes. But you never had that thing that you had so much passion for that you had to remind yourself to breathe.

One week of silence. One week of nothing from your best friend. Not a text, a call, a smile sent your way. Not even an eye contact.

It was strange. Your entire life had revolved around being around him, your routine included smiling and walking with him in the hallway, fixing his tie in the morning.

He was already in class when you came to school. And his tie was straight.

You decided to spend most of your free time in the library, knowing that Oikawa didn’t find himself in there very often. If he was going to avoid you without an explanation, you could avoid him just as hard and for just as long. That was your logic.

Iwaizumi joined you, plopping himself down on the couch beside you. It sat in the back of the library, in the corner away from everything. You were being Sad TM.

It was so stupid, of course. To be upset or sad about something that didn’t even happen; at something that almost happened but never did. Iwaizumi reminded you that it wasn’t about the near kiss, but the silence after.

A body appeared out of thin air in front of you. You wouldn’t mistake the boy for anyone in the world.

“’Kawa.” You said, looking up. He looked way taller from your position on the couch. “Hi.”

“Hi.” He said. No “nut” this time. He fidgeted with his fingers. “Can I get my jersey back? The one you wear to the games?”

Your eyes shot up.

“’M sorry?”

“Can I get my jersey back?” he asked again.

You felt Iwaizumi put his hand on your thigh. You must’ve been shaking. One week of complete silence and complete rejection and absence only to be met with the break of a tradition.

“Um, yeah.” You blinked. “Yeah. I have it at home, I can stop by later and give it to you.”

“Just bring it tomorrow. Before the game.” He spoke. But his voice didn’t sound like his. It was forced. Since when was talking to you a task?

“O.. Okay.”

A pinky promise was something taken very seriously. As kids, it was treated with the upmost respect and honor.

It was middle school, and the team announced that for a special tournament, and for school spirit, that the players would pick their best friend to wear their jersey to the games.

Oikawa immediately came to you with his “away” jersey, proudly holding it up. “Pinky promise me that you will always wear my jersey to my games!”

“Pinky promise!” you had told him.

You wore the jersey as you wrapped your pinky around his. Wearing his jersey became one of your favorite parts of going to his games.

Guess in high school, pinky promises don’t mean the same thing.

The thing about Tooru Oikawa is he never dates. This was something you knew for certain. He has never once had an official girlfriend, and he always talked about how he never planned on having one (“They’re both a distraction and a big responsibility,” he would say. “Besides, what would I need a girlfriend for when I already have a girl who does everything for me?” he would add).

Which is why you were surprised to see him hand in hand with a very familiar girl later that day. The long perfect brown hair, the long legs. After seven days of not speaking to you, he had a girl wrapped around his arm as though it was the most casual thing of him to be doing.

You stopped in front of them, trying your very best to hide your confusion.

“Oh!” he smiled, saying your name. Acting as though he hadn’t just asked you to turn in something that had meant something important to your friendship (at least it did to you). “You haven’t met Sana. My girlfriend.”

The aforementioned girl, Sana, smiled at you. Perfect teeth, of course. She gave a slight bow before reaching out her hand. Girlfriend.

“Hi! It’s so nice to meet you, I’ve been waiting to meet Tooru’s best friend!”

You forced a smile as you shook her hand. “Nice to meet you too, Sana.”

You looked over her shoulder, to Oikawa (who looked nervous, fidgety in fact), and to Iwaizumi and Matsukawa (who stood a bit further away, but just as shook and confused as you).