#i girlbossed too hard and now i have to start taking responsibility

[muncysvelasco]

Off topic but i hate when i get the realization that when i go back to school in September that i actually have to apply for schools and start thinking about the future and actually start being responsible.

[leynaeithnea]

I didnt get an ask for this BUT WE'RE BACK

my Wisdom saga reaction/analysis!!!!!

26. Legendary

TELEMACHUS MY BOYYYY

THE MELODY AT THE BEGINNING OF LEGENDARY IS SO COOL

the instruments aaah, lowkey obssessed

"its jus tme myself and i" perimedes would like u

"living in this world you left behind".........this song makes oyu think so much about what life has been in Ithica in those years since Odysseus had to leave, he was loved, he is *King*, AH

"dreaming of all these monster, that ill never to get to fight" better this way, u dont wanna end up like your daddy

"but boy i wish i could so i could bring the world some light" BABY BOY

"Cause I'm stuck with your stories, but no clue who you are And no idea if you're dead or just too far" his mother wouldve told him so many stories :aniTears:

"Somebody tell me, come and give me a sign if I fight those monsters, is it you I'll find?" PLS HE jusT WANTS TO FIND HIS DAD GIVE THIS MAN HIS FATHER

"If so, then give me sirens and a cyclops Give me giants and a hydra" hes just naming every monster he can think of of the myths he grew up with

"I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be legendary" U GO BOY; I LOVE YOU, also such a mood

"I'll fight the harpies and chimeras, the Minotaur, even Cerberus I know life and fate are scary but I wanna be l-l-l-l-legendary"....yea same like the two parts before, any monster he can think of, he gotta be one of us kids who read a lot

THEN The droppp in his voice, HE SOUNDS SO SCARED

"There are strangers in our halls" That must be TERRIFYING, just imagine that, dozens of men in your home just prying on your mother and youre too young to do anything rly

"Trying to win the heart of my mom, but she is standing tall" THAT VOCAL PERFORMANCE, W FOR PENELOPE; GIRLBOSS

"108 old faces of men who call me small" EW; 108 IS SO MANY BRO; SO MANY????? Also "old faces" ISJGSEIGJ "who call me small" boy, i feel so bad for you

"They keep taking space and it's not much longer we can stall" !!!! HES WORKING WITH HIS MOTHER TRYING TO HOLD THEM OFF; AH AAAAH, also fuck them, leave their home alone, god he must feel so unsafe in his own home :screams:

"'Cause they're getting impatient, dangerous too" oh no :( so scared lil boy

"And I would fight them if I was half as strong as you" HE LOOKS UP TO HIM SO MUCH AH

"Somebody help me, come and give me the strength Can I do whatever it takes to keep my mom safe?" HES ALSO A MOMMY BOY; AND HONESTLY GOOD FOR HIM; STAND BY HER SIDE; U GO BOY, 🥹

Chrous SLAPs

"Where is he? Where is the man who'll have you to wife? " bitch stay away (also cut song reference!)

"Where is he? Where is the man with whom you'll spend your life?" HE IS ON His WAY HOme SO STAY THE FUCK AWAYYYYYYYY ARGG ILL FIGHT U

"Cause it's been 20 years, 20 years" 20 FUCKING YEARS??? THATS AS OLD AS I AM (and telemachus for that measure, same age, yay!) BUT BRO IMAGINE WAITING FOR YOUR HUSBAND TO COME HOME FOR 20 YEARS; PENELOPE X ODY OTP; PENELOPE FIGHTING OFF 108 SUITORS FOR 20 YEARS AND ODY FIGHTING OF *GODS* Trying TO TRAP AND USE AND KEEP HIM, THEY DESERVE EACH OTHER

"And we still have no king" >:) >:) imagine an island without leader for 20 years oh boy h boy, the power vacuum, 108 people who want to take his place

"Give me a chance, a single opportunity and I'll overcome these obstacles and scrutiny and-" HE WANTS TO SO BADLY he juST DOESNT KNOW HOW AND WHEre TO START BC AH, also the music sounds like he just tries to sneak around his palace, to not get caught by the suitors, dodging and on guard, i can just imagine him ducking his head and looking at every corner for smth danger-

"Boy".......that slapped hard, FUCK YOU ANTINOUS (hi perimedes :) )

"When's your tramp of a mother gonna choose a new husband?" FUCK YOU STAY AWAY (the dELIVERY)

"OoooOOoh" we have a new choir! the crew is ded but we have the suitors now hah, ill take it, love me some choir responses

"Why don't you open her room so we can have fun with her?" THE AUDACITY? WHORE FUCKING BASTARD STAY THE FUCK AWAY

"Dont you dare, call my mother a tramp" U GO BOY; TELL HIM (be careful, dont get hurt) THE VOCAL DELIVERY OF THAT LINE IS SO gOOD

"OoooOOoh" chiorr

" I just did, Whatchu gonna do about it, champ?" FUCK OFF ANTINOUS, DONT BE SO SMUG FUCK U

"Somebody tell me, Come and give me a sign, If I fight this monster, Is it you I'll find?" u desrve your dad so much, he'll come home, promise...promise....hold on, be stronk, u got this boy, also "this monster" its none from your stories, no this is real, its worse its right infront of you AH

Sorry for the swearing :") AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH, ONE OF MY FAVS FOR SURE (...we'll come back after recency bias but i dont think itll change)

EDIT: DANGER MOTIF WHEN ANTINOUNS JOINS IN!!!!! (are there more? im new to this PLS TELL ME)

@lorethebookworm

[widebrimmedhatsblog]

I'm going to combine my reply to yours on AO3 with this, but yes, I 100% get it. People can be so rude and unappreciative and I know it's usually not on purpose but it can still be grating. Not very demure, not very mindful 😓

This is a really young fandom (not just in age specifically, but in fandom experience) and I try to remind myself of that all the time. I'm in a place now where I just scroll past in my inbox and barely take in comments like that, but I get how disappointing it can be. We work really hard on these pieces and they genuinely take a lot of our time and energy we could spend doing other things (I haven't read a book in months), so getting responses like that on a labour of love is so grating.

I feel so awkward as a writer who gets it even phrasing "I'd love to see more" in comments. It's very: I want this person to know I loved it so much I want to see more of it, but also: I don't want this person to feel pressured to do it just because I love it, I just want them to know. Even when I commented, I had in the back of my mind how many WIPs you were working on and how stressful that can be holding all of that in your head, but I don't think normal people realise.

It's like you have a million things to do but you've spent all day baking a triple layer cake with filling and frosting and all the toppings and you're exhausted and your feet hurt but you're eagerly watching someone eat the first slice...and they say "nice! have you got any biscuits?" and you're just like???

@justallihere and I always talk about starting a fandom podcast to talk about things like this and educate people and honestly, I think the world needs it. People treat writers like TikTok content creators and that's just not how it works over here.

(Also, I promise we're not girlbossing it, we're bullshitting our way through every minute of every day)

I'm annoyed that this has ruined the excitement of posting a new work for you, you should be able to bask in our shared joy after gifting us something like this. I really loved the work, truly and I can understand the lack of inclination to continue it given the little worldbuilding we've been shown. It certainly doesn't make canon-adjacent fic easy. Love that you don't like Brennan though, or have any desire to write him. He's dodgy as fuck.

As a writer, you can only write what you want to write. If you're not enthusiastic about it or inspired by it, it either won't be written at all, or the magic won't be there. If you can see where it goes but you don't want to write it then you shouldn't.

I'm so grateful for you taking on the prompt in the first place, it was a wonderful gift and the pair of them were everything I could have hoped for—Violet being her prickly self and Xaden still being a self-assured casanova? Delicious. Plus, we love a fic where Violet gets eaten out in the wilderness 😉 Welcome to the club! Should we create a 'cunnilingus in the wilderness' tag for this fandom?

You put so much thought into this whole world and it's absolutely, truly appreciated by those who matter and understand how hard the process is and what a gift it is—thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙏

Amy!!! You are so lovely, thank YOU. I get you 100000% and I didn’t feel pressured by you whatsoever. I definitely agree that people who aren’t writers just don’t get it. I got a comment this morning that was like I’d read 200k more of this, and it’s like, someone has to WRITE 200k more of it then. Two hundred thousand words are not going to fall out of the sky just because you’d like to read them. But I digress!!! There’s been a lot of joy in it too, especially in discussing the backstory with everyone. If you and Alli had a podcast I think I would go a little insane!

I personally am just not huge on writing Brennan when he’s alive because he makes NO SENSE. I feel slightly similar about the Fen & Xaden dynamic. I just prefer to write him being dead for that reason.

Again, I’m so so SO glad you specifically enjoyed the fic!! I thought about you a lot while writing it, so I’m glad that paid off.

Cunnilingus In The Wildnerness Tag!!! Absolutely. I am honored to join the club .

This made me very happy, and definitely helped me feel better about things + my reaction to them. Thank you.

[lesbiansanemi]

hi!! i spent essentially all day reading your akaza/kyojuro fics today and oh my god. there’s some half coherent comments left on some of those written at 7am dkshd. but then i also saw that you have a tumblr, and i just wanted to say: your writing is amazing!!! i’m a huge fan! i love a story where you can see both the characters from the original source, AND the author’s own characters under. like, your characterization is so on point that when you take it and explore it in some wild direction (never thought i’d want shinobu to be LESS girlboss) it’s amazing! not just the characters, too, but the world, the story, the expressions, the emotion. you also are so funny! like, in the fic itself, but also some of the authors notes at the end had me cracking up so hard. you just…manage to really fit so much emotion in your stories, and i’ve truly connected and been been very inspired by your writing. you are an amazing storyteller, truly. and im just fascinated by your brain, honestly; the smutty fics, the blood drinking fics, the kinks, the angst, the gore, the comedy, the fluff, the romance, the profound queerness of it all. i was obsessed w all of it, it was so beautiful. think i’ve felt the entire range of human emotions today, which, to me, is a testament to your sheer talent. i’m definitely a huge fan now! i can’t wait to see what else you’ll come up with in the future! <3

laskdjflds So, I opened up this ask while I was at work today, (actually I was just checking notifications when I saw it and started reading it) and then like three of my coworkers came over and were like "omg Kaz is smiling, what are you smiling about? You never smile" (untrue, I think I smile a fair amount haha) and then continued to tease me over it the rest of my shift

Lmao, the point is, this made my day, I kept opening it up and reading it and it made me feel so light and giddy. I'm just getting in from work and settling down with dinner and it's still making me smile

Thank you so, so, so much! I'm so glad my stories could bring you any amount of entertainment at all, let alone inspire a whole myriad of emotional responses! To be completely honest, I've hit a point where I'm not super confident in the things I write, and these types of messages help remind me that not only is it something I'm good at, but others enjoy it as well :D It means a lot! Storytelling means so much to me, both my own and the media I interact with, so to know my personal connections with it are touching others means the world!

(Also my humor is honestly the aspect of my writing I'm actually the least confident in, so I'm especially in awe and pleased that you enjoyed that so much)

So glad you enjoyed the fluff and gore and romance and angst and all the niche kinks and smut too haha. Am down to let others examine my brain at any time, have fun with it alkdjfla

Thank you so so much for all the kind words, and I hope you enjoy any upcoming projects! :D

[sleepymarmot]

Sanctuary (2022/2023)

[Watched on September 10th]

Okay so my new year’s goal for 2023 has been to watch more weird horny movies and by god I am doing it!

*takes a deep breath* GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS I SUPPORT WOMEN’S WRONGS!!!

Ahem.

Letterboxd: “thriller”, “drama”; Wikipedia: “erotic thriller”, “psychological thriller” Me: uhh what?? This is obviously a romcom

For real, the tone of this movie was so weird I couldn’t tell if it was humorous on purpose or overly cheesy by accident, but I laughed at least as much as I do during actual comedies, maybe more. Funniest title drop of the decade?

The session at the beginning was kind of silly and dragged a bit too much; I was very impatient to get to the real deal. Plus, I wasn’t feeling any power or charisma from Rebecca when she was just going off the script. I mean, what do I know, but she was honestly giving the energy of that one old Tumblr gif of a guy ineffectively whipping his bed; and she looked so young and fragile (does her mother know that she’s out?). It’s only when she became genuinely unhinged I started buying it. Her actress also overacted, imo, and combined with the contrived script and the kind of cheap music and camera work that made it hard to take the movie seriously. On the other hand, I don’t think I was supposed to.

More about the opening scene – I felt frustrated by the revelation that Rebecca was just acting out what he wrote the entire time, and assumed that frustration was shared by the character herself, that she couldn’t wait to stop being an actress and start improvising her own lines. So I was surprised by her confession at the end that she wanted to keep the status quo. It’s so clearly unbalanced – he got to act out his fantasies down to the tiniest detail but she was supposed to be satisfied catering to him? I guess she was just reaching for whatever was available, and getting a different job where she’d get to be mean and bossy on her own terms as an actual boss was the real fulfillment that she could not even imagine at the beginning of the story.

Rebecca’s occupation provides only an illusion of power or stability (is it even legal in the US?), and her happy ending is a promotion to one of the most powerful and prestigious jobs one can think of. But that “happy ending” is also the epitome of capitalist selfishness: the literal elevator pitch is that she can and should be as mean and as self-serving as she wants, “and it doesn’t matter if you're right or wrong”, with no thought given to the great responsibility this great power entails. As a woman, I’m cheering for Rebecca’s empowerment; as someone tired of overpaid and shortsighted CEOs, I’m disturbed.

It’s interesting that Rebecca gives herself credit for teaching Hal how to ask for what he wants – but fails to do the same until the last act of the film. Was this intentional? On a similar note, the seductive threat that Rebecca makes to Hal in the middle of the film is that she will leave the confidential confines of the hotel room and take over his real life. He denied that the sex they’d been having had any real impact on him – now it would have unavoidable consequences. She had been his dirty secret – now she would be the father of his child. He’d been a self-hating son living in the shadow of his father, it had been a defining part of his identity — now he would not be allowed to be that anymore, because it would be his turn to be a responsible father taking care of his own son, to be a role model to him. In the middle of the story, all of this is merely a taboo fantasy. At the end, it’s reality: Hal declares he “was meant for” the job of being Rebecca’s full-time “slave” (direct quotes), and is about to give his business to her and to introduce her to his family as his romantic partner. What both of them wanted all along was for their relationship to become real.

The two leads felt pretty balanced in terms of being fucked up / being the one to root for (unlike, say, Phantom Thread). While I was duly sympathetic to the mortifying ordeal of the enormous trust and privacy breach, overall this is the closest a recent movie viewing had me to being on the team “eat the rich”.

The plot feels so classic – a clever and vicious lower class woman refusing to let go of a rich heir both for pragmatic and romantic reasons… Or, to put it another way, a sex worker falling for her client and proceeding to do the same stuff as before but for free — which has got to be an ancient wish-fulfillment trope. I’m sure there are tons of centuries old stories with this kind of premise out there. Especially stage plays. Surely I’m not alone in feeling this was a stage play slightly adapted for the screen?

Speaking of the stage, another aspect of this movie that feels very familiar is an actor whose role bleeds into their real life and personality, and the power struggle between an actor and the demands that the director makes towards them. And here’s where the connection with the film I saw before this one comes in! (This time it’s entirely accidental, unlike my usual attempts to set up a slow marathon of thematically overlapping movies.) Both in Vertigo and in Sanctuary, the man in a traditional position of power enters a relationship with a woman who operates on the border of polite society, and the man idolizes the woman, but only within a specific fetishized role tailored to his taste. The approaches of the two films to the same premise are of course entirely different, so there’s not much point in comparing them, but the coincidence is fun. I have an idea what to watch next to keep the daisy chain going: apparently I need to look up the genre of screwball comedy, I don’t think I’ve seen a single one of those.

Anyway, the material here would benefit from an approach that explored gender, class, labor, and the border between performance and reality more seriously — but it’s unfair to blame a film for not doing what it never aimed to do. I like 90 minutes films, I like characters balancing on the border between performance and sincerity, I like low budget stories about two people stuck in a room together and driving each other insane, I like power struggles and elaborate mind games, and I was definitely entertained.

[mango-study]

Welcome to my blog!✨

Since it's the middle of summer, I've been on vacation the last couple of weeks. At the end of September, exams are coming up. Exams that I'm kinda nervous about. Originally, there should have been five of them, but now it's down to three. Why the change? I figured out that setting realistic goals will bring me further than chasing some idea of being a perfect student.

Reality Check: My past and presence

I believe in positive affirmations and the effect of negative self-talk, but let's be real: For the last years I've been lazy, I've been procrastinating and I've been wasting vulnerable time. Time that could have been invested in myself and my future, but was instead spent on scrolling trough memes on Instagram, laying in bed and sleeping through school.

Starting university a year ago was supposed to be a fresh start for me. But you know what? I haven't really taken full advantage of it. Somehow, I ended up sticking to the same old habits from my school days. And somehow, I still managed to pass most of my exams with the bare minimum effort. If I keep doing that, I'm probably setting myself up for failure down the line. It's a shame that my whole circle of friends and family are working so hard and supporting me wherever they can, while I do.. nothing. Don't get me wrong, I don't think of myself as a total failure, but I'm not exactly doing a victory dance either.

I feel like all I ever achieved was not because of hard work (because let's be honest, I never put in hard work) but because of luck and privilege. I know all of that sounds terribly like I hate myself, but it's actually not that way (anymore). I just think that there is unused potential in me. And I'm on a mission to unlock it. Acknowledging my mistakes and changing things around? That's my way of showing myself some love. Putting in the effort to build the future I want? That's self-love right there. Creating habits that actually make a difference in life? Yep, you guessed it - that's self-love too.

Gosh, I sound like an influencer who wants to sell you their magic face cream or pyramid scheme that is definitely going to make you rich (for the record, it wont). My bad. If I knew how to do that, I still wouldn't.

Chasing self improvement: My future

While I grief about the time that is lost, I also recognize that I am currently in the perfect position to turn things around. I don't have a lot of bills to pay, because I'm living with my boyfriend and he supports me financially, just as my parents. No kids, no major responsibilities - just taking care of this house. I'm working on weekends to save up some money (traveling did not help with that). But let's face it, there will come a day when I can't keep relying on others and will have to learn independence. It's just fair for those around me to do my best to reach that point as soon as possible.

Up until now I didn't really follow a routine - but I came up with the idea of a masterplan. A girlboss, that-girl, changing my life plan. This blog is part of it - part of me getting back on track (or honestly just getting on track the first time of my life lol). I know this won't reach a big audience, but that's not my goal anyway. I just want to use this as a journal, firstly because I want to document everything (imagine if I actually make it big someday and this blog still exists - talk about a throwback), secondly because I've read somewhere that journaling helps with time management and thirdly because maybe there's someone out there who can relate to my story and learn a thing or two along with me.

In my next post you will read more about that masterplan I mentioned earlier. You're invited to be part of the brainstorming! Thanks for hanging out and reading.

Embrace the journey, embrace yourself. Until next time!💗

[babybluesquid]

Inesa is a gaslight! Gatekeep! Girlboss!!!

Her response is a stereotype of nonchalance, “you caught me off guard, but I had safeguards in Coldport that kept me alive. You might’ve been able to take me down had you brought me to the king then, but you won’t capture me again.”

Suddenly, the whole, despicable truth of the situation dawns on Dagne, “they executed Donota in your place.” “Aren’t you a bright one,” Inesa condescends, “regrettable, really. She was a fine witch, but you need to keep your generals alive, even at the expense of your enlisted men. Who else can conduct the grand strategy?”

“What?” Inesa is shocked, but, “that’s like saying Sora Katra is the head of the Red Watchers,” she laughs contemptuously, “the Shadow Sword is the head, why not Khyber herself? What the fuck are you talking about?”

She scoffs, “the reasons the Red Watchers have expanded our operations over the past few decades are to ensure Karrnathi glory and remove the stain from our country which you yourself represent. Plenty of people claim that demons are behind everything, and they’re all loons who’ve take too much dreamlily.”

“Tactical allowances must to made to achieve your goals,” she says dismissively, “we’re the heroes of the people. Have you seen the nation outside of Atur and Korth? We have broad support. The people do not want undead to infest our armies. If the Crown would remove the undead and claim its proper place on the throne of Galifar, we wouldn’t have this problem, but the Crown is weak."

"Now look at things. The Emerald Claw is running amok and the undead stain continues despite having no military use, yet you are here to arrest me?”

Inesa crosses her arms, “and how do you know the war caused the Mourning. I’ve looked into these war magic theories, they’re complete nonsense that flies in the face of all established arcane theory."

Inesa smiles smugly, “so is your plan. Convince me to come with you and have me executed, or leave me and see if your words stick? What are you trying to do here?”

“So what? They just throw me in Dreadhold and don’t kill me? Besides, it’s hard for you to make any claim about my plans when you don’t have any clue of their extent.”

She gives Dagne a saccharine grin, her voice is mock piteous, “I think you misunderstand my goals. I don’t just want a strong, safe Karrnath. I want to take the world and bring it to my vision. Even the Red Watchers in their current form don’t serve my goals; I’ll have to deal with that shadowy organization at the top.”

She places a hand on her cheek, a contemplative pose, “it’s funny to call me a fool when you’ve come against a fully prepared foe who has studied tactics. What was your plan if this persuasion failed?”

Finally, her smiles fades, “I consider it a vast strategic error. You’ve started this game and I’m unimpressed with your performance. You caught me by surprise once, and now you approach to try to convince me to work within the system. But stuffy politics will never achieve my goals.”

She glaces over at Nux, “I’ll give you one chance to let the kid leave.”

Inesa draws a rod and sends a bolt of fire off the edge of the bridge, “checkmate.” A battle cry, dozens of voices, emanates from the gorge. Red Watchers emerge from the concealing shadow and swarm up the natural steps of the chasm.

[asstrolo]

“𝑐𝑎𝑛'𝑡 𝑤𝑎𝑖𝑡 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑛𝑜𝑤 (𝑇𝑎𝑦𝑙𝑜𝑟'𝑠 𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛)” 𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑦 𝑜𝑏𝑠𝑒𝑟𝑣𝑎𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛𝑠

Hi, John Mayer 😁🔪

listen to this bop while we're at it

— I'm going to start this post by venting so sorry in advance, but if i see another "aquarius moon people are cold and detached" or "i wouldn't date them because they have no emotions" i will flip this table I'm at my limit ಠ_ʖಠ

just become they don't give out their emotions to the first person they meet does not mean they are cold, same with capricorn moons, they are super sweet and loyal people, if they aren't like that with you is just because they don't like you 🤧, I'm DONE seeing how we lack emotional intelligence because we don't trust people easily, leave us alone! my heart is fragile!

Okay now we can continue lol

🤍 Venus in 1st people like GIFTS, not because they're materialistic, but they like jewelry or clothes or flowers type of things, something they can wear around, like show off their partner when they aren't there "this? oh yes my partner gave me this lolz" and they probably give their loved ones a lot of gifts, it's just their love language

💜 also Taurus Venus or 2H in Venus, personally I understand why they'd do it, it's like carrying a little piece of somebody else when they're not with them, but i do prefer self-made gifts

🤍 Saturn in 6H and perpetually being exploited by other people, especially at work. If you have this placement you should check the aspects, and your own 6H, it'll give you an inside to how people use you, because they so smh :/

💜 you are like a super competent person, and you like (or feel obligated) to help others, it's kinda like, you'd feel bad if you don't do it? Just know, you can help people, but they should never take advantage of that, you're not a machine

🤍 I've noticed Aries placements (sun most likely) if they have serious disabilities or illness that could take a tool on them physically, or even mentality, it's very probable they grow up and it won't affect them at all as they get older, I don't know why.

💜 They have the capacity to just, like, get better? Maybe they are very resilient, this is a very personal opinion, because i was born with a very serious physical illness and it created a lot of other physical issues, nowadays i am a lot healthier and it doesn't affect me at all, i think it's very girlboss of me idk

🤍 You should always check where Chiron is (sign, house and aspects) when you do your Solar Return chart, it's really important since it will tell you what will be a constant theme throughout the year that'll being you "pain" or a lot of transformation

💜 I'll give you an example; i have Chiron in the 11H in my solar return chart, and I spent the year reevaluating my friendships and social circles in general (bc something fucked up happened but we're not gonna talk about that 😌) at the same time rethinking what is it that I wanted to do in terms of career and money, in my Natal Chart i have Taurus in the 11H so I guess it all comes back to how to make an income even though I failed at most jobs I wanted to try on 2021 so there you have it :')

🤍 do you guys know the "i was the problem all along"? that's what it is like to have the sign you have in your 8H in one of your big three lol

💜 most people that are attracted to the villain/bad guy in any story have Aquarius or Scorpio placements, even Gemini lol

🤍 Cancer placements can have a hard time with their family, their family rely too much on them and, depending on the aspects and rest of the chart, they can be more than willing to accept that responsibility, but sometimes they feel super suffocated by them, it's not uncommon for someone with Cancer in their big three to want to get away from their home because they don't have enough freedom

💜 I am a firm believer cats and Leos and Scorpios are meant to be, if you have Leo and/or Scorpio in your chart you should definitely get a cat since they can help a lot when you are feeling very intense emotions, a cat can calm you down, it's been said cats take out negative emotions from their owners just by being pet, and are good to relieve stress. Leos and Scorpios have a lot of very intense emotions all the time, so it's good for you guys to rely on them

🤍 Capricorn moons are very sensitive, they have emotional intelligence and were probably the kid who always cried when they were little, it's a misconception that Capricorn moons are unemotional or cold, they aren't, they just don't trust people easily and they act more serious with people they don't know or not trust, but yeah, they're super emotional and it takes time to get into that side of them

💜 2H synastry between two people, specially if it's a stellium, can attract a lot of money from this relationship, but also a lot of possessiveness, a lot of jealousy.

🤍 Let me tell you why, the 2H is what we're comfortable with and what we are used to, what we see as our home, with this, a couple that has this synastry is very used to and comfortable to each other's presence and it comforts them, it can become very toxic when they don't want to lose the other person or them seeing other people. They see them as their home

💜 people with Chiron in 7H/Libra and their exes finding the love of their lives after breaking up with them, i swear.... They endure so much pain from romantic relationships all the time, Taylor Swift herself has a Chiron in 7H and that girl has been trough hell and back, honestly

🤍 lastly, Geminis, specially Gemini women, are one of the most giving and less judgmental partners ever, they are so supportive of their partner's decisions and they expect the same in return, it's true that they want freedom and be able to do whatever they want in a relationship, and they give back the same energy, they're the chill girlfriend, the one that won't judge you for anything you want to do and they also have a need to take care of their partner? It's probably the cancer placements, they like taking care of them lol

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

[rillette]

ok so I just barely started reading gl stuff but what is the shitty bug retcon? I'm so curious

omg okay so! I'll do my best to summarize but keep in mind that i've only been into GL shit for like a year at most. Definitely someone else can give you a more in-depth explanation but i love talking out my ass about things so <3

probably going to have to put this under a cut bc i feel in my bones this is going to get long. Spoilers ahead for Hal's GL run if you care about that lol

To give some context to what happens during Emerald Twilight, we have to go back to the earlier runs of GL. During the 70's GL run, starting roughly with Hard Traveling Heroes, Hal becomes more and more disillusioned with the GL Corps and with the Guardians. He's told he's too focused on Earth and he needs to do his duty as a GL, stuff like that. He finds out at one point that the GL ring has even removed his ability to even feel fear.

point is, Hal becomes increasingly disillusioned with the corps. During the 80's, Hal is exiled into space for a year because the Guardians believe he's spending too much time on Earth. He gets back on Earth after his exile and the Guardians are still super fucking pushy, making him sacrifice his personal life and his friends for his duty to the GL corps. As a result: he fucking quits the corps lol. He does rejoin the corps during Crisis on Infinite Earths, though.

During the 90s, Hal is super fucking depressed. He's disenfranchised, traveling around on Earth looking for a place to just. Have a job and life his life lol. This of course gets interrupted by green lantern bullshit every time.

Skipping some plot stuff, Hal is back in the corps as a GL, off in space because the Guardians needed him somewhere. Unfortunately, while he's off in space, Coast City is destroyed. Seven million people die. This is a huge fucking deal.

Anyways, in the aftermath of Coast City, the JL just kinda. Brushes off the tragedy of what happened. They treat it more of like, an inconvenience than anything. This brings us to the start of Emerald Twilight. Emerald Twilight opens with these two panels.

At the start of Emerald Twilight, Hal has lost literally everything. He has no support system, his friends are either dead or not talking to him, he doesn't have anything to live for really. He recreates a construct of Coast City using his ring in an attempt to like, cope with the magnitude of his loss lol. A guardian shows up to yell at him for using his ring "selfishly" because of this, telling him he needs to go back to Oa for disciplinary action, and Hal snaps.

I'm not going to summarize the rest of the Parallax arc bc if you haven't read it yet, you really should it's great. Anyways this is a big long summary to say that Parallax is Hal's grief. He's not afraid and he has nothing left to lose. He's just, having a grief fueled breakdown.

Now here comes the retcon. When Geoff Johns, my mortal enemy, started writing for Gl, he changed a lot. Parallax, in Rebirth, is the embodiment of fear, and it possessed Hal when he went into the central battery during Emerald Dawn. This means that the Parallax arc is no longer Hal's (very understandable) breakdown but is in-fact the result of him just fucking being possessed.

This retcon actively takes away the meaning behind Hal's girlboss war crimes and his responsibility for his actions. It ruins the years long build up to his breakdown as well. Parallax is now why Hal went grey at the temples early, instead of that being a physical manifestation of the toll being a GL took on him.

It's really frustrating to see everyone and their mother turn into Parallax during Geoff's run, because Parallax is literally just Hal. It's his grief.

[emblemxeno]

Not surprised about Dorothea. In the last time many people start hating her. People on tumblr seem to hate her way more than on pther sites. It‘s a bit funny since she was quite popular at first but now she isn‘t anymore. Edelgard and Bernadetta were already hated but Dorothea will surpass them in terms of being hated

Yeah it's just... I don't wanna come off as a petty fuck here, but Dorothea is whiny. Straight up. She whines and yells at people who did nothing to her, blames others for her problems, doom mongers her own future constantly, etc. And she laments constantly about having to fight former friends, when she had full control to NOT JOIN THE FUCKING WAR. It's especially egregious on CF because she's on the side that started the bloodshed yet still has the audacity to complain about it, when it's been established that she didn't have to follow Byleth and Edelgard. It's annoying, and it became harder and harder to sympathize with her over the years.

Further on, I can't bring myself to feel bad for a character who's an established famous and successful opera singer who complains about not having a future. Girl, you're the one who's possibly cut her own future short by banking on finding a spouse this early instead of continuing what you do best! And I can't even take her being doom and gloom about why she feels that way seriously, because the writing wants me to look at it from an angle of "women have it hard later in life", hence why she specifically mentions that in her support with Byleth (about how women have it harder about age anxiety and future prospects); but the game doesn't care about misogynistic shit anywhere else! When Edelgard is canonically woobified in-game because of THE CRESTS, when Hanneman's sister's awful life gets attributed to THE CRESTS, when the numerous female characters lament about being objectified in order to have financial security or more ties among the elites because of THE CRESTS, when Sylvain's overt misogyny gets justified because of THE CRESTS, now all of a sudden the game wants me to believe that Dorothea's misogyny laden characterization is genuine? Yeah, fuck that.

And that's before going into how she constantly criticizes nobles for being shallow and judgemental when Dorothea is THE MOST SHALLOW AND JUDGEMENTAL PERSON IN THE CAST. She blames the "church's noble regime" for her troubles, she blames Ferdie for her perception on nobles, she calls Felix out on thinking he knows what's what about her, she blasts Lorenz for having his own standards, etc. She takes no responsibility for how she treats others, and what's worse is that the writing is on her side; she's written as in the right in numerous supports where her whining to others is seen as a revelation instead of as the misdirected anger that it really is. Maybe localization and voice direction had a hand in this, too, considering how much she sounds like a "confident Girlboss, smash the patriarchy and capitalism while also being vulnerable and insecure but also being correct about everything" caricature that you'd find on modern day Twitter, but I don't know for sure.

[foolishgamers]

SOME (MORE) OSMP QUOTES FROM THE STREAMS TODAY (10/4)

*this is a very long post- you have been warned*

——————

“if you work hard enough labor can be free”

“dare we expand some crevices for a minute”

“wait, tubbo’s pregnant & ranboo’s the father?”

*joins call* “are you pregnant?”

“not being doesn’t work for me, i really like being alive”

“so how have things been? i heard you’re not pregnant”

���what’s your preferred type of minor?” “i can’t really answer that”

“how do we get rid of you sneeg”

“are you alright? you did one of those dsmp lore sighs”

“yeah i found toby face down on the lawn”

“i can be your rehab”

“you literally talk in crayola crayon”

“i need to go chop down shit, for therapeutic reasons”

“friendship over with tubbo, ranboo is my new beloved”

“i thought no one was supposed to get married without me”

“hear me out, i’m going to make a tik tok at your wedding”

“strip mining is dead”

“anyways” *messages sneeg ‘you’re out the server’*

“you have made me a worse man”

“i worry i talk about myself too much. how are you?”

“can i burn down your house for a vlog”

“my above average body is pulling down my below average mind”

“alright schlatt” “OKAY SNEEG YOURE OUT”

“the tree is naked? WHAT??”

*tommy messages wil : ‘HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!’*

“i’ll sniff out the diamonds for you!” *aggressive sniffing noises*

“dudddde, you can’t just go around taking other peoples kids tubbo!” “sorry, it happens”

“you’re gaslighting me!”

“what’s with you and arson today?” “ i just love arson.”

“ranboo, i need you to show up to toby’s house with a knife and a dream”

“if tubbo dies and i’m even slightly responsible i’ll be like “man that’s annoying’ “

“me and charlie damillio? i’d get rid of tubbo for that”

“i’m sorry i kept trying to murder you” “when did you try to murder me?”

“i don’t know what charlie damillio does”

“no don’t get hate haha, just make some tik toks”

“what does she do?” “…………………………… she’s great”

“why don’t the manifold’s have a show? keeping up with the manifolds”

“don’t do as i say or i do or anything”

“is tommy a brand risk wilbur?” “yup :)”

“phil’s making me a lil house and when he’s done i’ll give him a kiss”

“you can be friends with a lil kiss”

“what is a boy without his glass?”

“don’t pity laugh, give me my glass!”

“it’s so easy to upset you” “ that’s it i’m putting you down”

“why is niki ‘the cutest predator?” “because i am”

“im lost.” “that’s nothing new” 

“ you know what? i’m not girlbossing i’m manfailing”

“now i birth”

“tubbo where are you?” “he’s at my birthing pod”

“i woke up and chose to struggle”

“want to go build bridges with me tubbo?” “okay but i’m not doing any of the work.”

“niki, i’m in my fail era help me.”

“okay you just need to stop being a failure, can you do that for me?”

“tubbo, can i manipulate you to prove a point?”

“toby it sounds like you haven’t been gaslighted in a while”

“tubbo do you know where i left my child?”

“you keep her on the noose i’ll go build a home”

“i hope you feel better soon tubbo :D” “i don’t.”

“what are you doing tubbo?” “suffering”

*giggling* “why are you stealing a child tubbo?”

“i’ll pay you your fees for watching my child”

“your house is full of coal” “oh no santa!”

“im sick of being bullied, i’m gonna start bullying myself so you don’t have to”

“im gonna pee” “pissing circle let’s go!”

“WHERE IS THE GOOP KING”

“i don’t like spending time with you tubbo” “that’s how it should be”

“phil i need repent!”

“why are you taking your anger out on me?” “ i have to take it out on someone important to me”

“if i was a chicken what would i want”

“can you go follow someone else tubbo?” “ no i need to follow someone with a bad origin”

“you’ll never find me, it’s raining and i’m viscous”

“tubbo can i not have larceny committed against me real quick?”

“do you have a couple balls to spare?”

“charlie how do i milk you?”

“at least now we can milk him again”

“do you have any balls? “ “im ball-less. i’m neutered.”

“did you make that man give birth?”

“you hit him so hard he birthed a child!”

“if only someone produced enough content to sustain a hive.”

“tubbo don’t eat his slimey balls”

“charlie im double fisting you”

“give me a book and i’ll start writing history”

“get your balls here”

“gunky chunky funky man. taking the world one gunk at a time”

“i can’t believe you just causally gave birth”

“this started out as a reading of ‘real history’ and ended as a funeral”

“i think you should have the honor of naming my dead son”

these are all i got today but if i missed any good ones feel free to add :))

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

your tags 🥺 ❤️❤️❤️ honestly it's so hard to find someone who has critical thinking in the entire euphoria fandom. like, just last week- well, the last couple of weeks, actually, people have been calling cassie just the vilest thing, and even though she's done some questionable, if not outright bad, stuff, I don't think it's deserved. all in all, she's still a kid, and she was at THE LOWEST of her life when nate jacobs decided to sink his claws into her and infected her with his poison. i just think she deserves a little bit of a break.

and this week is what really got my blood boiling. like, lexi literally said in the episode she was afraid people (cassie, especially) would take her play the wrong way, while she only had good intentions. people be out there praising her for "ruining lives" while that's very much not what she intended. she said it herself, she's an observer, and she's observed all of these things, and now she's only reporting them back. i think she intended it more as a way for people to reflect on their actions and relationship, how they might look through in other people's - namely, lexi's - eyes.

do correct me if im off the mark tho. i would love to hear what you think ❤️

BESTIE!!! sorry i waited a while to respond, i didn't want euphoria tumblr to interact with me again lmao it should be quiet now though 👀

i think people start to fuck up when watching euphoria when they assume anyone is a good person. lexi knew she was being messy but deserved to vent, cassie is extremely unstable and self destructive but also not innocent, and nate is psychologically damaged and emotionally neglected, so i am begging the show to get him help at this point.

every character is abusive, and every character has been abused. cassie has been awful to people but she also had a secret abortion last season that everyone forgets about like ???

maddy apologists are my biggest issue tbh. she is a victim of a toxic relationship but she enabled a lot of anger out of nate such as lying about being sexually assaulted by an adult. she was a selfish terrible friend (especially to kat in season 1) and has been physically/verbally/emotionally abusive to multiple people, even beating up random students at school. after the incident in season 2 which i won't spell out for spoiler reasons, i am sympathetic and hope she gets the support she needs. but since season 1 there has been a LOT of support for her bad behaviour because alexa demie is gorgeous and tumblr loves a "girlboss moment" to the point i've seen takes like "well it was NATE who made her do all that bad stuff, she was just psychologically manipulated to be a mean person" as if nate could just "break up with his father" and was totally 100% responsible for his behaviour because childhood and lifelong inescapable abuse from a family member means he's too far gone to be saved. like, pick a side— are abuse victims conditioned and shouldn't be blamed for any toxic abusive actions they perform, or are they fully responsible and unfixable monsters? the true answer is neither/both but since the internet has 0 critical thinking skills, the fandom answer is to sort all the faves as innocent and the unlikeable characters as permanently damaged abusers.

like, people hate jules and always shove the "she's a slutty male-affirming cheater" identity on her every fucking second because they love zendaya and rue. there are also people who get mad at rue for being mean, self destructive, and for doing drugs, but that's literally the point of her character??? she's an addict and it's an atrocious battle that is going to harm her and result in irrational toxic decisions?

a lot of people are mad about kat this season but have missed the entire point of her segment earlier on in s2: kat still can't love herself and ethan's love feels superficial and sappy in the face of her own self worth issues. she gave ethan a shallow, blatantly false reason for breaking up with him so that he'd hate her and not say something like "i know you have self worth issues but i love you!" or "we can make this work!" because kat sees herself as undeserving of love and made it so ethan wouldn't forgive her, and therefore treat her like the monster she sees herself as. THAT is why she went back to cam work and embraced/validated the dark/taboo side of her identity she keeps tucked away: perverted appreciation is all she is worth because it's all she can process people valuing her with.

TLDR: everyone in euphoria has been hurt and have hurt other people: some more than others. the fan favouritism and cherry picking is the reason "fandom mentalities" don't work for a show like this!!! i enjoy/love every character and that doesn't mean i excuse their behaviour, but in fandom-terms it's assumed that liking someone like nate means i justify all his actions by refusing to wish death upon him and the other male characters like mckay and elliot.

ultimately, i want everyone to get the help they need even though i don't expect it to go over that way, and i will spend every other second i have actively hating the "hot takes" people have online that are just supporting female abusers and ignoring the fact that real people and three-dimensional characters are morally grey so liking a character doesn't mean they're a good person 🥴✌️

[laufire]

(CW for mentions of csa)

A lot of Commonly Accepted (Often Through Uncritical Repetition) Wisdom in fandom leaves me baffled, when not straight up ticked off, but one that's been on my mind lately, that never fails to bring a scrunched up expression to my face, is the idea that Bela Talbot's backstory was some last minute add-on to her character.

You might argue that the reveal was rushed since the writers caved in and killed her off against their original plan (or at the very least, earlier than). Or that using abuse is a trite way to raise sympathy for an antagonistic character. You could even say that some of the finer details might’ve not been set in stone until they sat down to write her exist, although that one is dubious. But I’m never really going to buy that Bela’s backstory hadn’t been already planned, likely in big part.

The reason why is Season Three Episode Six, “Red Sky At Morning”, Bela’s second episode, co-written by Eric Kripke himself. As all episodes with Bela were, may I add; which means he had a hand in crafting her story from the beginning, as creator, director, and writer.

There Dean, a character that has been shown as sharp and intuitive (although his success rate ain’t that great when it comes to Bela, admittedly xD), immediately pegs her as someone with Issues TM, asking “how did she get like this”. He even taunts her by referencing her father, showing off his talent to hit where it hurts by asking if he “didn’t give her enough hugs”, ‘cause he’s classy like that. This visibly affects Bela, changing her demeanor in their conversation, from more playful to defensive. Hell, I remember during my first watch in real time this moment, especially paired with the rest of the episode, was when I first thought it was possible she came from an abusive family.

Because, c’mon. This whole episode is about parricide. The monster of the week is a ghost who haunts those that “spilled their own family’s blood”. We get two other examples: a woman whose accidental car crash killed her cousin, and two brothers who killed their father for the inheritance. Clearly, the ghost doesn’t have a narrow criteria when it comes to means or culpability -which makes sense given his particular story: he was tried for treason and his brother, the captain of the ship, issued the sentence.

And just as we find out this information... Bela sees the ghost ship that foretells her death. This, paired with the insinuations about an unsavvory past and her discomfort at the mention of her father, aren’t a wealth of information, but they start to paint a picture. We now know for a fact that Bela caused the death of at least one relative (mom and dad); that she wouldn’t have needed to do it directly (she made a crossroads deal); and that she might’ve had a sympathetic motive (her father sexually abused her and her mother turned a blind eye).

That scene offers some more tidbits of information about her past that seem too in tune with 3x15 to be coincidental, and that absolutely break my heart: Bela’s “You wouldn’t understand. No one did.“ and “I’ll just do what I’ve always done. I’ll deal with it myself”. See, I always thought Bela must’ve told people, when she was a kid. That she reached out for help not just to her mother, but to everyone around her that she thought could’ve help: teachers, maybe even law enforcement; adults that should’ve being worthy of that trust and protected her. Except no one did (and the fact that her family seemed to be not only very rich but influential paints a very bleak picture that surely contributed to her cynic view of the world). So she took matters in her own hands, and sold her soul for ten years of relative safety and freedom from her abusers.

To tie it all up, her final scene in that episode offers some more moments that again, are very in line with her backstory. We see how she treats relationships as transactionals: she pays ten grand to the Winchesters for saving her life, like she paid with her soul. Dean, again, draws attention to her likely messed up past by calling her damaged, and she replies that “takes one to know one”. Terrible childhood, ammirite. The show wasn’t been subtle here: it’s telling us Bela has a terrible past, like the Winchesters do, but of a different kind that has resulted in a different kind of person. So yeah, I think all the facts were hinted at back in 3x06.

We could go even futher back and point out 3x03, Bela’s introduction. One of the very first things she says in the show, during her first face to face with Dean (a character that just condemned his soul to Hell), is “We’re all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride”. Sure, it could be an incredibly fortuitous coincidence; as a writer, I’ve had those and they’re damn great. But it seems VERY lucky, and more likely to be a case of the kind premeditated, well-placed foreshadowing that Kripke excels at.

So, okay. I’ve established why I think Bela’s backstory wasn’t a spur of the moment decision. But why is there a notable narrative in fandom that it IS?

First thing first, I want to get something out of the way: you don’t have to like it even if it was planned ahead. I understand it’s a very thorny subject, and to make matters worse, it’s inherently tied to her death. You might even be fine with the what, but not with how it was dealt with (although personally, I appreciate that neither the abuse nor her death were shown onscreen. In fact, the worse violence we see Bela on the receiving end of in her run is Dean’s threats and manhandling, which seems like a very purposeful choice ngl. Even Gordon freaking Walker was gentler lmao).

But I do disagree with some extended fandom opinions on the topic, and I guess that’s what the post is about. For one, I don’t see how the show “condemned” or morally judged Bela in this scenario. If anything, they clearly wanted to make her sympathetic, AND they showed Dean as being in the wrong by robbing him of information. Dean’s opinion on Bela couldn’t count for shit, for once, because he didn’t have the full picture; because Bela had deemed him UNWORTHY of the full picture, and thus anything he had to say on her couldn’t be taken at face value (except this is Supernatural, so I guess this was a little too much to ask of some people?). I think saying that just because Bela died and went to Hell as a consequence of her deal, IN THE SAME SEASON the same happened to our co-lead, because the writers deemed her evil and irredeemable is simplistic at best, and the audience projecting their own feelings (or being unable to see past Dean’s) onto the writing.

All that said, to go back to the initial point of all of this xD: WHY does fandom seem to insist on viewing this narrative choice as some cheap last minute addition?

There might not be one explanation that fits all, but I have a few ideas. One is that, if this wasn’t planned for and hinted at from early on, some people might feel as if this “absolves” them of their previous (and disgustingly hateful and misoginistic) reactions to Bela. Others will see this as absolving Dean, and maybe even Sam to a lesser extent, for not helping her and for being callous towards her; if her tragic backstory was this artificial, rushed choice made by Those Writers, then Dean wasn’t responsible for reprehensible attitudes towards someone who deserved his compassion (and it can’t be denied that this fandom loves absolving Dean of responsibility lmao). And a lot people are probably only repeating what they've heard from others as the accepted narrative, especially those that didn't even watch all of s3 if at all (Castiel is my fave too, but seriously, s1-3 are worth it).

It’s like they’re creating this imaginary separation between Bela pre-reveal, and Bela post-reveal, to make the situation easier to themselves. See, Bela pre-reveal was this annoying bitch who inconvenienced and embarrassed our leads (not to mention dared have chemistry with them), and thus deserved to be punished for it; or, if we’re going with more modern fandom sensibilities, she can be made to fit into the shallow #GirlBoss mold, with a side of “Secretly A Lesbian And Therefore Not A Romantic Threat” flavour -the current preferred method to make controversial female characters more palatable.

The reveal throws a wrench into this narrative. “Bitch who deserves her comeuppance” is a hard sell when you’re talking about a character who survived csa. And a shallow #GirlBoss reading doesn’t work if you have to acknowledge that Bela was one of, if not the most tragic characters in the entire run of Supernatural.

She spent over half her life at the mercy of her abuser(s), hurt by those who should’ve loved her and protected her most. The rest of her life was extremely lonely, with seemingly only a cat as company, and a surface-level freedom that hid under the sentence that loomed over her head. She died without a single friend, or a simple show of kindness and compassion, without anyone bothering to fight for her. And then she ended up tortured for who knows how long until she became one of her torturers.

All of that is extremely difficult to digest. And when things are hard to swallow, people do as people do, and they try to simplify them. So, sure. Bela’s reveal wasn’t ever hinted at, it’s completely removed from her character and the person we met, and is not even worth trying to fit into the narrative. Sounds easy.

[orsumeuphoria]

Lucky Lectures. Gender politics in homosexual ships. 

Are you a consumer of fanfiction? Do you live in a society? 

There may be heteronormative patterns in your gay fanfiction! 

“But how?” you ask, “It’s two dudes!” 

Well, funny thing is, when you live in a patriarchal society that has worked hard to establish that submissive = female and dominant = male, it becomes very easy to transpose these traits onto any individuals ever and perpetuate heteronormativity and gender structures of power! 

Let me explain.

First, we must accept the reality that we do exist in a patriarchal society that has taught us that Man always comes out on top (pun perhaps intended) and Woman has three essential roles: be pretty, be submissive, and be quiet.

Of course, with the different waves of feminism, the portrayal of Woman in media has shifted and now we have Girlbosses and whatnot. Except, the root of the problem hasn’t yet been addressed and millions of people who grew up either before or during these periods of change were still influenced by patriarchal teachings, and that’s not something one can easily get rid of, especially when media and other cultural artifacts that help spread and reaffirm societal cues were (and are still) plagued by this “Man strong, Woman weak” mentality (that is of course far more nuanced than that but this is not a gender studies course).

Now, what does this have to do with homoerotic fanfiction?

Short answer: the people who write fanfiction exist in the same society you and I do, and literature like any other artform is inherently a mimicking of the real world. Anything we see in the real world will end up, whether by choice or not, in that which we create.

There’s more to this, though.

Romance specifically is a big point of interest for us if we’re going to be diving into this subject.

When you look at the population who’s creating fanfiction, a lot of them are, in fact, very young AFABs. Let the record show I’m not exerting criticism or opinion in these lines, merely stating a fact.

The thing with these very young AFABs is that they: a) grew up in a patriarchal society; b) were exposed to patriarchal media that portrayed a very specific type of “romance”; c) likely also read fanfiction written by other very young AFABs with little to no real-world experience to help diversify or add nuance to their writing, so they exist in an echo chamber of, “This is definitely what romance is.”

You may be inclined to disagree and point me toward examples of fanfics and/or fanfic writers who do not fall into this pattern, and I see you, I have my own exceptions too, but for the sake of argument, we have to look at the very broad patterns because they are the most worrisome; the minority, in this case, is actually the one with the advantage.

So, let’s look at some examples of my thesis. Specifically within heterosexual fanfiction.

Some prime examples of this would be After (2014), Twilight (2005), and 50 Shades of Gray (2011). Do you see the pattern yet? The main romance arc in these novels is not a great example of actual romance, right? In After we have an abusive main male character. Twilight leaves us with a main male character who’s mostly emotionally absent and who leads to the main female character to, quite literally, jump off a cliff to try and get his attention. 50 Shades is abuse disguised as kink, leaning heavily into the excuse of a D/s dynamic. And what do the female main characters in these three do? Continue to thirst after the main male character even while suffering at their hands.

“Those are awful examples, Luck!”

Yeah, well, I’m a hyperbolic motherfucker, sue me.

Seriously though, I don’t think they are bad examples. They may be the worst of the worst but that’s exactly why they serve perfectly to illustrate my points. The fact that these three do exist points towards an underlying issue wherein we see these pieces of media and, even when they’re awful, we let them happen. We let them become cultural phenomena. None of this would happen, theoretically, if it didn’t have space to exist, if the ground wasn’t primed with centuries of patriarchal brainwashing to permit, if not encourage, these representations of romance.

If people weren’t still consuming stories like these, where abuse and unhealthy interpersonal dynamics are thinly disguised as romance, they wouldn’t exist; but people do consume these stories because they subscribe to patriarchal thinking and that creates a market, blah blah blah, I’m not here to give you a lesson on supply and demand. I’m merely here to tell you that people, even in 2021, are misogynistic and openly enjoy consuming misogynistic media, because they don’t perceive it as misogynistic! They think it’s normal!

“What does this have to do with my sacred homoerotic fics, Luck?” you ask. To quote Siken (2005): “Shut up/ I’m getting to it.”

I ask you, what is the big difference between heterosexual fics and homosexual fics in their representation of romance?

I say, none, really.

I’ve read plenty of fic in many different fandoms, raging from anime, literature, TV shows, RPF, and I can tell you the fics that portray queer relationships with any sort of nuance are few and far in between.

And this is where I remind you that most fanfic writers are people who were socialized as girls, who haven’t experienced enough to portray romance much differently than how their main examples (the misogynistic media, as we established) do.

So we have a bunch of young AFABs whose vision of love has been heavily influenced by out-of-whack power dynamics and a lack of affective responsibility. And what do they often do?

They buy into yet another set of absurd ideals! Remember when gay relationships were stereotyped as being between a Dom Top and a Sub Bottom? I’m sad to inform that it’s a prevalent thing and a vehicle for heteronormative structures of power to be passed onto queer fiction. Because, what are Dom Tops if not Man and Sub Bottoms if not Woman?

These kids, because they are kids, will take one look at a pairing and call the big dominant one a top and the dainty quiet one the bottom. Sometimes, they’ll cling to these ideas with a vice and start arguments if you challenge their structure.

“Why is this a big deal?” you ask, and I appreciate your curiosity.

It’s harmful because it continues to perpetuate some awful ideas about relationships and it ends in the fetishizing of homosexuality, and that’s not even mentioning how inaccurate of a portrayal they are of real life. Impressionable kids can, and do, and will, interact with this content and grow up with a twisted perception of reality that they, too, might reinforce in their own immensely flawed works of fiction. It could harm them in their real life too, there’s studies going on right as I type this regarding porn addiction in young AFABs because they start consuming smut fiction at very early ages. Kids could grow up desensitized to abuse. Kids could get in harmful relationships and miss the warning signs because they were romanticized in their favorite fic.

And this isn’t to say that all the responsibility lies in the hands of the fanfic writer, because anyone who engages in fandom does it out of their own volition and because of that should do so carefully. But this is to say that if you are a fanfic writer, you need to look at your own biases and be a little more critical with yourself and your world view, lest you continue this cycle of patriarchal nonsense.

[beanieman]

3B Shin/Alice Lives Route Live Play

So I recorded my thoughts here as I played the game. Here they are!

Warning: I swear and yell in all caps a lot. 

Mr.Policeman had a son. Are we getting Mr.Policeman is Joe’s Dad theory confirmed??? 

I’M SHAKING IT’S TOO HARD TO TYPE

This is horrible but I hope Keiji dies next. I don’t want any of the others to go. 

SHIN MY BELOVED

SARA DO NOT SIGN THE GODDAMN FORM I SAID ABANDON KEIJI 

Ranmaru I love you. (Very thankful he tore the form, at least the first time)

Keiji taking responsibility for his actions?? Will I regret saying I hope he dies earlier? 

The OST is a banger!

I wonder if Shin can save Keiji and he just refuses too. (This was later proven wrong.)

New Mai sprites!! I’m looking respectfully!! I KNEW HER HARMLESSNESS WAS AN ACT!! FUCK YEAH GIRLBOSS MAI!!

Am I going to turn this blog into a Ranmaru stan account? It’s looking possible. 

Cotton Candy. I’m calling him that from now on. 

Shin watching as Alice gives his speech. The game says Alishin rights! (In hindsight, I’m sad) 

When Sara said the dubious consent form I misread it as “dumbass consent form” and almost lost it. 

Getting the ID card is too easy. This is going to do something that kills Keiji, huh?

WAIT WAS MIDORI A DOLL THIS ENTIRE TIME?? FUCKING BASTARD!! I want to punch him in the throat so bad. Alice you deserved so much better than this bitch.

IF MIDORI WAS TORTURING HUMANS WHAT DID HE DO TO SHIN??

SOMEONE ASK IF SHIN’S OKAY DAMMIT!!

Midori is so done with Maple. Ew what does she mean insert. 

SARA AND MARU ENDING?? I’m kind of okay with that?? 

How much do you want to bet, Shin and Sara will end up being the two living together and having to choose who becomes a doll? The drama!!

Shin looks so disgusted to take the handkerchief. I love him. Shin is also getting braver!! Which is bad for Keiji and Sara. 

Naomichi and Shin’s fortitude isn’t women huh? 🏳️‍🌈 Just saying. 

Shin and Alice even argue like husbands

Naomichi and Anzu are literally siblings 

“Don’t associate me with him” bitch you stole his name.

NOOOO NAOMCIHI NOOOO Q-TARO

Shunsuke is gunning for the role of best Father this chapter I see

Oh shit Ranmaru’s going to snap

Gin and Alice are such a fun BROTP

Wait did Alice even shove him? Because it seems like he fell

Disappointed but not surprised the outside world is in on it

The real Sou might be alive??????

Loose his seat?? Was Sou supposed to participate? 

I’m going to hope Alice’s calmness is character development and not mind washing. 

Holy fuck I think everyone besides Sara is an agent of ASU-NARO 

I cried over Shin’s AI dammit (Cry total: 1)

Shin could only turn up the heat when Sou wasn’t there. Shin could only be comfortable when Sou wasn’t there. 

Sou might not be a member of Asu Naro?? He won’t say if he signed the form. Is the plot twist going to be Shin is the only one not an Asu Naro agent??

Shin’s into cute things and robot action figures!!

Oh wow Tia and Miley 😳

OH MY GOD AUTISTIC GIN IM ACTUALLY CRYING ITS CANON THATS SO COOL!!!

Oh fuck you Sou for taking advantage of his autism. I hate this bitch.

Oh Ranmaru is so in love with Sara (Oh count 4) 

Okay so emotion route is actually the route I’m probably going to play for now on. Sara sole survivor ending seems like how the logic route will end. While Sara will die on the emotion Route. (it’s not. Logic route is still my canon route.) 

Sara has a piece of Joe on the emotion Route but not on the logic route. She’s really going to feral.

Excuse me why did Sara just acknowledge Joe? Is she pretending to forget Joe for an advantage?? Holy fuck.

Also Shin was completely justified to be scared of Sara given what we just learned. I’m about to become a Shin apologist.

It’s interesting Naomichi seems to see through Shin

OH FUCK KEIJIS DEAD

I like this game a lot more without his “your cute “comments if I’m being honest. That weirded me out.

Oh fuck the fucking form goddammit I hate this stupid game Sara he isn’t worth this. You just sold your soul to the devil.

“Sounds good to me” 🙄

I don’t want to doubt Mai but...I’m doubting Mai.

I ship Ransara so hard. They’d be so good for each other. (This statement aged so poorly in the span of ten minutes.) 

I mentioned Soup and Shin’s Sou persona seemed to vanish. This man lost all resolve over soup.

Sara I know you don’t want to loose anymore allies but holy shit calm down.

What the hell is going on?

Why is Keiji excited about the tools??

I’m kind of shipping Maple X Mai

I HATE KEIJI MAN

I was spoiled about Alice’s death in this route before playing :(

NOT THE SHIN AI

What in the Nagito was Mai doing??

I GOT NAOMICHI KILLED AND I DON’T KNOW IF IT WAS MY FAULT OR THAT HAD TO HAPPEN

I already knew Hinako was the traitor why am I gasping

SHIN STILL CARES ABOUT THE KIDS!!

KEIJI WAS THE GUY AT THE START??

KEIJI HAS MISHIMAS HEAD (He didn’t)

Guess I’m killing Keiji

WHAT THE FUCK Q-TARO

Q-TARO WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO NO

I’M CRYING

Q-TARO BEST DAD.

I’m not sure I ship Ransara now. Saraanzu is where the shipping lies.

If Tia told Q-Taro it was too late....was she lying and he sacrificed himself unknowingly?? Tia did lie to the group about Kanna not feeling pain as she died. So it’s not out of character. 

I love that Shin and Sara were being some what cooperative in this chapter. He’s definitely going to murder her later, but it’s nice while it lasted.

Shunsuke is the last doll standing on my route. Good. I love him. <3 

I think I like the dolls more than a lot of the participants. Oops.  

[kelsiersshadow]

i knew i shouldn’t have picked up a conjuring of light again cause now i’m done and the series is over and idk if i should start a new book or just ride this book hangover until i have to go to work tomorrow. so i’m gonna word vomit to no one about it to soothe my emotional wounds and also cause the crooked kingdom still has me feeling very irked on the subject of redemption and trauma. deeefinitely read the duology at the wrong age, cause now i have critical thoughts about healing and morally grey characters. obv spoilers for the whole shades of magic series below the cut.

anyway first off can i just say i am in love with the visuals in this series. it’s bloody!!! it’s so very gruesome and i think she handles the characters that get their free will taken from them in a very...i mean i felt like i was literally choking when i read any holland chapters. not just the ones with the danes but obv the ones with the danes. and rhy’s basically entire experience with pain...his devotion to the crown, even though originally he can be read as flippant and casual about his responsibility to rule but from the first book she does him great justice. he doesn’t have magic. so he learns languages and geography and he sneaks out and hangs with anyone and everyone and he forges admiration and love from his people.

im honestly totally enamored with rhy in general i feel like making the shiny happy charismatic puppy of a boy suffer so much was a direct attack on my emotions. and family! idc where you came from you’re my brother and that’s it. the sweetest parts of this series were any time kell and rhy thought about each other.

on a separate tangent i feel like it’s really hard to write the Badass Knife-Wielding Pirate Lady and give her actual faults. obv her commitment issues are on the top of that list but her recklessness is a very close second! sooo many times (esp when she entered the tournament) i felt kell’s level of exasperation. and not in a omg you’re so crazy uwu go off girlboss way but in a omfg lila stop you’re gonna LITERALLY die just hold on for a damn second way. her stubbornness, while i very much admired it, on occasion got annoying in a palpable way and idk i feel like she turned the badass trope on its head and went ok but did you ever consider they’re dumb adrenaline junkies?? it’s very very well done.

the way alucard unfolded was great. at first i was determined to dislike him cause he’s introduced when all i wanted was to find out that lila made her way back to london. and he takes her under his wing and that’s nice but i was waiting for the ulterior motive to drop. and then he’s fleshed out from rhy’s perspective. and you’re like ok wow so you’re cool but you’re a dick. got it. but you didn’t got it!!! he’s got wells of trauma too! his heart is broken! his actions were not his own when he left and he felt like he had to stay away! because no one wanted more than a passing fuck from him!! very well done development i had a great time.

i guess im gonna finish off by talking about kell and lila. like i knew they were ending up together but the way she played it out was glorious. you wait this whole time for them to just be in the same damn room again and then it’s just “hello” “hello” “dance with me”. asjdjfjdjssnjdjjsshhs the ballroom! she wears a dress and it’s not just performative she’s there cause she wants him to SEE the dress!! and boy does he!!! the second book honestly dragged a bit but not in a boring way just in a she has to build up the drama so it’ll go a little slower way.

and then BAM! end of the second book and it hits warp speed. “whatever i am, let it be enough”. to find him, to get to him, to save him. to stop rhy’s echoes as he dies. the entire ojka fight was one of the best lila scenes. then from the moment they’re back together it’s all nonverbal communication and i’ve got your back and the push and pull, the back and forth...god the whole third book. it’s like she knew she spent so much time keeping them apart and now that they’re together every second it’s tender and intense and they’re not questioning anymore. i reread things i had just read cause i wanted to be there and i wanted them to be there just a little while longer. it’s worth noting that i laughed my ass off during “stop fucking with the ship!” i am so grateful she let them laugh together. on the flip side, pairing kell’s stay with me with holland’s right after was evil and amazing.

i loved this series in so many ways. the whole thing was dark and depressing and so very beautiful. and i heard whispers about movies being made which is great 100% want the tumblr edits but im telling you right now if it’s not rated r for gore it’s gonna be terrible. you can skimp on the magic cgi they bleed to make things go boom and you need that