#i guess its less of a rewrite and more of like...

[diospore]

MHA 430, no real spoilers to the ending but I'm also discussing my au ideas under the break too so that's why I tagged spoilers and added the bar, because there's a variety of spoilers.

That was fine I guess, could've been worse... Sad no dfo but I kinda gave up on that being good 10 chapters ago. Insert Thanos I'll do it myself gif.

5.5-6/10.

I'm gonna start my analysis + reread on Saturday I think?

Here's thoughts I already have:

- Reduce amount of students in 1-A. I realized that I can't handle 20+ main characters lol. My original idea was 5, but I've got it down to 10 by fusing characters. Izuku, Aoyama, Uraraka, Shoto, and Bakugo remain the same. I'm going to review the fusions and draw them later...

Fusions:

Sero/Kaminari/Kirishima (Reason: I get them mixed up a lot.)

Iida/Momo/Ojiro (Rich kid + I like Ojiro)

Jiro/Tokoyami/Shoji (Characters with a "dark vibe" ((emo lol)))

Mina/Tsu (I'd feel bad having one and not the other)

Koda/Sato (Honestly they're here because they're the ones I think of when I think "they got shoved aside" as well as Ojiro but I like him more.) ((... Also combine their names and you get Soda....))

Most likely to be cut: Ojiro, Sato, Koda, Sero

Cut: Mineta (Obvious reasons), Hagakure (I couldn't think of anything)

I swear there's logic here but I'm unable to explain it better lol. I'm eepy.

- Bakugo will be expelled from UA in the first arc, perhaps that'll be the conclusion of it. Possibly return in a later arc, I'm thinking the vigilante arc? Minor character. Basically a starter antagonist before the stakes ramp up.

(Results in the same amount of students as OFA users! Which I think is a nice parallel.)

- First arc will be about the class bonding since I really wanted more 1-A bonding scenes. Mainly about them helping each other. (I. E. Izuku opening up about being bullied, the class helping Shoto with the Endeavor situation, etc.) Bakugo's role will be getting in the way of this. Minor antagonist.

- LOV shouldn't be introduced until after a bond is established. Sorry Shiggy my beloved, you must wait.

- All for One dies in Kamino equivalent. (Unsure of how to set this up w/o Bakugo, maybe Midoriya's the one kidnapped?) Sorry AFO I love you so so much, but I'm killing you off. You're op as hell and the kill should be All Might's. You can come back and possess people later if you're good.

- DFO will be there as well as reducing the role AFO played in Shigaraki's backstory. Increase the role in Midoriya's life (negative).

- Aizawa will have a bit of a tweak, he'll be less physically violent with the students. (Less scarf grabby, only in extreme circumstances) Also I think having a lasting injury from the Oboro incident would be a nice touch. Give him a House MD vibe with a cane??? God I fucking loved House. Gay and homophobic, what an icon.

- Eventually I want Endeavor to go to prison or face some form of consequence. Maybe death. I was also thinking about him being tricked into helping AFO out of desperation for that number one spot. Bakugo takes his place for redemption arc?

- I don't really want to kill Midnight off... Or Twice... Or like. Any of the LOV. Need to think about that... But I know Twice's death was very important, so I might have to get over it somehow.

Not saying there won't be death, it just has to make more sense to me.

-

Wrote most of this at 2 am lol so this is probably incoherent. It's not a critique of the series, it's just my idea for the au. Like I get that classes have like 20 people in them. And that characters die. That villains die even if they're children.

I think if I plan this in arcs, I'll have the best chance of finishing it.

[lordgeneralsix]

it's fun to look through datamined stuff but I need some of you to stop getting mad at larian for scrapping ideas you thought were cool. cool doesn't mean it'll make sense in the overarching story, and maybe larian likes this version better, or sometimes ideas just didn't work well with what they had in mind. I know this first hand from writing stories, I'll have cool ideas but realize later it doesn't fit the original tone of the story. it's okay to scrap stuff, but you can always use it for something else.

also, like it or not, it's larians game first, their story, their characters (I know.), it doesn't matter if we think something is cool, the reality is that not everything works in the end. and that's fine. that's how all art is, it's alive and ever-shifting, it'll go through many, many, versions, to the point where you might get sick of chewing on the same plot, and in the end the final version might not be as good as you thought when you look back in a few months or years. and that's ok. art isn't supposed to be perfect.

everything is subjective and I think fandoms would be a more intellectual place if people learned to critique art for what it is not what it isn't.

[loverboybrightsideghost]

[pulls out a giant nerf gun] [hits new dream with repression and miscommunication of the rocky traumatic start of a relationship beam]

[artisimpossible]

Saw a fun little conversation on Threads but I don't have a Threads account, so I couldn't reply directly, but I sure can talk about it here!

I've been wanting to get into this for awhile, so here we go! First and foremost, I wanna say that "Emmaskies" here is really hitting the nail on the head despite having "no insider info". I don't want this post to be read as me shitting on trad pub editors or authors because that is fundamentally not what's happening.

Second, I want to say that this reply from Aaron Aceves is also spot on:

There are a lot of reviewers who think "I didn't enjoy this" means "no one edited this because if someone edited it, they would have made it something I like". As I talk about nonstop on this account, that is not a legitimate critique. However, as Aaron also mentions, rushed books are a thing that also happens.

As an author with 2 trad pub novels and 2 trad pub anthologies (all with HarperCollins, the 2nd largest trad publisher in the country), let me tell you that if you think books seem less edited lately, you are not making that up! It's true! Obviously, there are still a sizeable number of books that are being edited well, but something I was talking about before is that you can't really know that from picking it up. Unlike where you can generally tell an indie book will be poorly edited if the cover art is unprofessional or there are typoes all over the cover copy, trad is broken up into different departments, so even if editorial was too overworked to get a decent edit letter churned out, that doesn't mean marketing will be weak.

One person said that some publishers put more money into marketing than editorial and that's why this is happening, but I fundamentally disagree because many of these books that are getting rushed out are not getting a whole lot by way of marketing either! And I will say that I think most authors are afraid to admit if their book was rushed out or poorly edited because they don't want to sabotage their books, but guess what? I'm fucking shameless. Café Con Lychee was a rush job! That book was poorly edited! And it shows! Where Meet Cute Diary got 3 drafts from me and my beta readers, another 2 drafts with me and my agent, and then another 2 drafts with me and my editor, Café Con Lychee got a *single* concrete edit round with my editor after I turned in what was essentially a first draft. I had *three weeks* to rewrite the book before we went to copy edits. And the thing is, this wasn't my fault. I knew the book needed more work, but I wasn't allowed more time with it. My editor was so overworked, she was emailing me my edit letter at 1am. The publisher didn't care if the book was good, and then they were upset that its sales weren't as high at MCD's, but bffr. A book that doesn't live up to its potential is not going to sell at the same rate as one that does!

And this may sound like a fluke, but it's not. I'm not naming names because this is a deeply personal thing to share, but I have heard from *many* authors who were not happy with their second books. Not because they didn't love the story but because they felt so rushed either with their initial drafts or their edits that they didn't feel like it lived up to their potential. I also know of authors who demanded extra time because they knew their books weren't there yet only to face big backlash from their publisher or agent.

I literally cannot stress to you enough that publisher's *do not give a fuck* about how good their products are. If they can trick you into buying a poorly edited book with an AI cover that they undercut the author for, that is *better* than wasting time and money paying authors and editors to put together a quality product. And that's before we get into the blatant abuse that happens at these publishers and why there have been mass exoduses from Big 5 publishers lately.

There's also a problem where publishers do not value their experienced staff. They're laying off so many skilled, dedicated, long-term committed editors like their work never meant anything. And as someone who did freelance sensitivity reading for the Big 5, I can tell you that the way they treat freelancers is *also* abysmal. I was almost always given half the time I asked for and paid at less than *half* of my general going rate. Authors publishing out of their own pockets could afford my rate, but apparently multi-billion dollar corporations couldn't. Copy edits and proofreads are often handled by freelancers, meaning these are people who aren't familiar with the author's voice and often give feedback that doesn't account for that, plus they're not people who are gonna be as invested in the book, even before the bad payment and ridiculous timelines.

So, anyway, 1. go easy on authors and editors when you can. Most of us have 0 say in being in this position and authors who are in breech of their contract by refusing to turn in a book on time can face major legal and financial ramifications. 2. Know that this isn't in your head. If you disagree with the choices a book makes, that's probably just a disagreement, but if you feel like it had so much potential but just *didn't reach it*, that's likely because the author didn't have time to revise it or the editor didn't have time to give the sort of thorough edits it needed. 3. READ INDIE!!! Find the indie authors putting in the work the Big 5's won't do and support them! Stop counting on exploitative mega-corporations to do work they have no intention of doing.

Finally, to all my readers who read Café Con Lychee and loved it, thank you. I love y'all, and I appreciate y'all, and I really wish I'd been given the chance to give y'all the book you deserved. I hope I can make it up to you in 2025.

[hookingminor]

4 times you took care of him + 1 time he took care of you - nico hischier

a/n: rewrite of an old fic of mine

cw: brief mentions of blood, stitches, alcohol

word count: 7.4k

summary: nico is the cute neighbor boy across the hall

-

1. 

Sunday nights were your nights. After a long week of studying and working crazy hours, you only had one day to yourself where you weren’t running around like a chicken with its head cut off and could take five minutes to finally breathe. 

Sundays were also the only days you actually took the time to make yourself dinner. Most of your days were either spent in class or at the hospital, so you never prepared anything that couldn’t be done in less than ten minutes. Sometimes you were so lazy that you just counted on cafeteria food and granola bars to hold you over before having cereal for dinner and crashing by eleven o’clock.

Tonight’s specialty was your own take on a carbonara with some grilled chicken on the top. It wasn’t anything fancy, but you had been working on a recipe to perfect this for nearly three months now, and you were almost satisfied with the results.

It was in the middle of adding the finishing touches by combining the pasta and the sauce when you heard a knock on your door. Setting the towel on the counter and reducing the stove heat to a low simmer, you made your way to answer the door.

“Oh, hi, Nico,” you said with surprise when you saw your neighbor on the other side. He lived across the hall from you, but you rarely saw him in the building. Still, it wasn’t hard to notice that he was incredibly attractive.

“Hi,” he greeted you. The smells of your dinner wafted over him, and he peeked over your head to catch a glimpse of what you were preparing. 

“I just stopped by to drop this off,” he said, handing you an envelope. “They keep mixing up our mailboxes.”

“Thank you,” you replied as you glanced down at the letter. “I have a few for you as well, hold on just a second.”

You turned away from the door and walked back towards the kitchen to where you kept a stash of his mail. You’d been meaning to drop it off, but your hours at home never coincided with each other. 

Granted, you could have slipped it under his door, but you really just wanted an excuse to talk to the cute neighbor boy. You were just waiting until you worked up the nerve to knock on his door.

Nico took a few steps into your apartment, not wanting to overstep but also not wanting to stand in the hall awkwardly as you rummaged through some papers. As he waited, his eyes wandered back over to the stove where you were cooking some type of pasta. 

His stomach growled lowly as the smell of seasoned chicken and sauces flooded his senses, and he realized he hadn’t eaten anything in nearly five hours.

“Sorry,” he said with a blush. There was no way you hadn’t heard that grumble. “Guess I forgot to eat something after practice.”

“Did you want some?” You asked almost too eagerly. “I mean, I made quite a bit,” you backtracked quickly, “I usually survive the week on leftovers.”

“No, it’s okay,” he chuckled, but Nico wanted nothing more than to shove a forkful of whatever you had made into his mouth. “I’ll probably just order something for delivery.”

“Please, I insist,” you persisted, “I made a lot, and your food won’t be here for, like, another hour at least.” God, you were coming off as desperate, and you mentally slapped yourself for it.

He looked at you hesitantly, obviously not wanting to intrude, but damn if he wasn’t really hungry.

You didn’t wait for his reply before dropping the mail back where it was and crossing the kitchen to the stove. Pulling out an extra plate, you began piling it with pasta and chicken, and Nico figured it was too late to refuse you again.

“Take a seat,” you suggested as you plated a dish for yourself. “You’re not an intrusion, I promise. I don’t get a lot of company anyways.”

“Busy life?” Nico asked. It was then that he realized he really didn’t know much about you despite having run into you multiple times in the hallways.

“You could say that,” you chuckled humorlessly. It was a combination of being both busy and having no friends, but you weren’t about to tell him that. 

“What do you do?” He questioned as he rested his elbows on the table.

“I’m a nursing student, so I spend all my time studying or working at the hospital,” you explained as you brought the plates over to the table. He mumbled a quiet ‘thank you’ when you set his food down in front of him. It looked delicious. Nico’s skills in the kitchen were subpar to say the least; he couldn’t make anything that didn’t come with box instructions or wasn’t baked chicken and vegetables. So having an actual home cooked meal was starting to feel like Christmas.

“Is that why I only ever see you coming home at midnight?” He wondered, picking up a fork to take a bite.

Nico was right, it was delicious. 

“Yeah, hours are a little crazy for me right now, but they should settle down once I graduate,” you replied as you took a bite. It was your best carbonara yet, but it wasn’t quite perfect. “What about you? Why are you always coming home at midnight?”

You’d never talked to him much after that first day when he helped you with a couple boxes as you moved in. Most of your interactions were restricted to passing each other in the halls and the polite conversation about how your day was going and the weather.

“I, uh, play hockey,” he started, “and we get back from road trips really late sometimes.”

“No shit, really?” Your eyes widened in shock, “like you play for the Devils?” You weren’t well versed in sports in general, and even less so in New Jersey sports. However, you did hear chatter around from your classmates and coworkers about various games.

Nico nodded his head in agreement, “Yeah, I’m the captain.” Every revelation about him continued to shock you.

“So I’m dining with New Jersey royalty then, huh?” You teased after a moment. Even though you didn’t know much, you did know the Devils were doing exceptionally well at the moment.

He blushed at your compliment, “I’m not royalty.”

“Your team’s current record says otherwise given the team’s horrendous past ,” you commented, dropping the little bit of knowledge you knew as you overheard your lab partner go on about the Devils’ hot streak.

Nico raised his eyebrows in surprise at your statement.

“I’m not an actual fan, so don’t test me,” you chuckled at his surprise, “My lab partner is always talking about the Devils, and I may have unknowingly processed some of the information.”

“It’s not because of me. The team’s just doing well in general,” he brushed it off casually, but you knew that wasn’t totally the case. The team may be good, but good leadership can be what makes or breaks them.

“So you’re not a big cook then, I presume?” You asked instead, changing the subject to something else. Nico probably talked about hockey enough with other people, you didn’t want to bore him even more.

“You could say that,” he said, repeating your phrase from earlier. “If it’s not something a seven year old could make, it’s not something I could make.” He had barely registered that he’d finished off everything on his plate by now while you were still finishing yours.

“Did you want more?” You asked, noticing his empty plate, but Nico shook his head.

“No, thank you, this was more than enough,” Nico insisted. “I’ve bothered you enough tonight.”

“Really, I don’t mind,” you said, clearing off your plate. “It’s nice to talk to someone who isn’t asking me about upcoming exams or patient reports or asking for more painkillers.”

“It’s nice not talking about hockey, too,” he agreed.

Rising from your seat, you took his plate and yours to the sink as you were both now finished.

“I got this,” Nico said quickly, following you to the sink and lightly hip checking you out the way. “I do know basic manners. You cooked, so I’ll clean.”

You opened your mouth to argue with him, but the look on his face said the conversation was already over, and he grabbed the sponge with one hand. Deciding to leave it alone, you held your hands up in surrender and backed away from the sink. While he was busy, you packed up the leftovers into a plastic container.

“I make dinner every Sunday,” you said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “So, if you want, you’re always free to join me.” You didn’t look at him when you said this, trying to keep it casual and so he wouldn’t see the way your face was riddled with embarrassment. You were trying to subtly ask him to come over more, and you didn’t want to be faced with his rejection.

You heard the sink shutoff and saw his body turn towards yours out of the corner of your eyes as he leaned against the counter.

“I’d really like that,” he said, “but I do have one condition though.” You looked up and met his gaze with raised brows.

“You have to teach me how to cook,” he continued with an easy grin as he dried off his hands with a towel.

“You’ve got a deal,” you agreed, matching his smile with one of your own.

You sent Nico home that night with the leftover carbonara and his mail despite his protests, but you argued that he couldn’t live off takeout forever and that you could always make more food whereas he could not.

The next Sunday he had showed up around dinner time once again, this time bringing over a plate of cookies that he most definitely bought at the store but tried to play off as baking them himself. He had said if you were going to be doing a majority of the work, the least he could do was bring you something in return.

Every Sunday after that Nico was at your place. On the off chance he was out of town, he always left you a note on your door saying he wouldn’t be making it and notifying you of when he’d see you next. You didn’t need the notes, he didn’t have to tell you whether or not he was coming, but they made your heart flutter every time you came home and saw a blue sticky note waiting for you. 

You taught him a few staple dishes, mainly how to cook pasta and rice and some salads. His capabilities weren’t all that vast, and he wanted to remain in the realm of foods that weren’t too complicated so he couldn’t fuck up.

Making dinner with Nico turned into messing around in the kitchen for a couple hours most of the time. You teased him about his chopping abilities and he teased you every time your small hands dropped something due to your lack of coordination, to which you complained how not everyone could be a professional athlete. 

And every time you two ate at your same spots at the table, sometimes splitting a bottle of wine that Nico would bring over. 

Every once in a while Nico would arrive with a bag of takeout in his hand, declaring that you needed a break from all the cooking. There was no reason to have dinner together since it wasn’t under the guise of teaching him something new, but you still welcomed him nonetheless.

Sundays were no longer your nights, but that was perfectly fine by you as long as you could keep sharing them with Nico.

-

2. 

Nico was getting a little desperate. 

Two months had passed since he started coming over for weekly dinners, and he was making no progress. It’s not like he was really trying, though. If he was being honest, he wasn’t quite sure how to flirt with a woman without the intention of sleeping with her.

Which isn’t to say he didn’t want to sleep with you because he definitely did, it just wasn’t all that he wanted.

He hoped he conveyed interest on his part, but he wasn’t positive you were picking up on his hints. Or maybe you just weren’t into him.

So, he decided to take it one step further. He bought some plants.

Nico knew next to nothing about plants other than that they needed water, but he’d noticed you kept a few in your apartment near your large window.

Once again, he found himself knocking on your door, but this time you weren’t expecting it.

“Hey, what’s up?” You asked him when you opened the door. It wasn’t like him to show up to your place out of the blue.

“I wanted to ask you a favor,” he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ve got a week long roadie and was wondering if, maybe, you’d look after my plants?”

“Oh yeah, definitely, I can do that,” you said with a smile.

“Do you have a minute right now? I can show them to you really quick,” he asked, gesturing with his arm to his door. You nodded your head in agreement, and Nico took a few steps backward to let you into his apartment.

You followed him through the entrance and paused briefly. His apartment layout was the exact same as yours only flipped. He walked until he hit the same balcony window where you kept your plants, and you saw he had about four small pots along with a large pot that sat in the corner.

“This is the gang,” he introduced, spreading his arms to show them off.

“This is so cute,” you chuckled, stepping closer to get a better look at the plants. You noticed one of them was also one you had.

“I’m going to be honest,” he started. “I only recently bought them, so I don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“Well, they seem to be still living, so you haven’t done anything too bad,” you teased lightly.

“Oh, let me get the spare key for you,” he said suddenly before he turned and left you alone to fetch the key.

Nico returned less than a minute later, small black key fob in his hand. You opened your hand for him to place it in your palm.

“When will you be back?” You asked, stretching back up from your squatted position.

“Next Wednesday,” he clarified, “and I leave tomorrow.” You nodded.

There wasn’t much more to say, so you told him a brief ‘good luck’ on his roadie before leaving. Returning to your own, you made a mental note to check in on his plants tomorrow.

The following afternoon, you let yourself into Nico’s apartment with the key he’d given you. You read the sticky note he left for you on the counter, the words reading ‘in case of an emergency’ along with his phone number.

You rolled your eyes at the note, laughing lightly at his phrasing of ‘in case of an emergency.’ You hardly thought watering plants would cause a catastrophic event, but the gesture was cute.

Filling up a few cups of water, you made your way over to his plants and distributed the water throughout until you’d gone over all of them. Before you could think better of it, you snapped a picture of the plants in the window before opening a text thread to Nico.

You: First day all done! :)

He didn’t reply for a few hours, but that was okay because you hadn’t expected him to reply at all.

Nico: They’re looking better already!

Ever since that first day, you began exchanging messages. His replies were sporadic, but you didn’t mind; he was a busy guy. Still, he managed to text you whenever he could, and your conversations quickly turned away from his plants to other subjects. 

You recommended some new shows for him to watch while he was on road trips, and he told you where his favorite takeout restaurants were when you felt too lazy to cook. 

Honestly, Sundays didn’t feel the same without him, but you didn’t tell him you stopped cooking when he didn’t show up.

Even when Nico was back in town, you found yourself texting him frequently in your classes and also on your breaks, and Nico found himself waking up every morning looking forward to whatever message you’d sent after he’d fallen asleep.

-

3. 

The incessant pounding at your door woke you up from your sleep. You knew who it was immediately as there was only one person who visited you, and you were ready to yell at him after you answered the door. 

Throwing on a sweatshirt, you stomped your way to the door and shouted out, “I’m coming!” so Nico could take the hint to shut the hell up.

“Oh my god, Nico,” you groaned as you threw open the door, “It’s two in the fucking morning.” But it wasn’t Nico you were greeted with.

Or rather, he wasn’t the only one outside the door.

“Uh, hi,” a man said as Nico leaned against him, very obviously drunk.

“Hi?” You asked, your eyes flicking over to the drunken Nico.

“I think he lost his key,” the stranger said, “and then he was knocking on your door before I could take him back to my place.”

“Of course,” you sighed. “You love bothering me, don’t you, Nico?”

“Y/N,” he slurred your name when he heard your voice. “I told you she was beautiful, Hughes.” He clearly meant to whisper the last part into his friend’s ear, but his impaired state changed his whisper into a quiet shout.

“Alright, buddy, let’s keep it down,” his friend said with a chuckle as he tried to spare him from saying something else embarrassing.

“Do you still have my key? I forgot mine,” Nico asked instead, lifting his eyes to yours.

“I left it in your apartment last time I watered the plants,” you answered and Nico let out an annoyed groan.

“It’s fine, he can stay here tonight,” you said, addressing his friend this time.

“You sure? I don’t want to bother you,” his friend insisted. “I can just bring him back to my place.”

“Don’t worry about it, you already dragged him all the way here. I can handle it,” you said and opened the door further.

His friend lugged him into your apartment and led Nico to the couch, plopping him down on the cushions.

“Thanks for doing this. I’m sorry for waking you,” he apologized once Nico was settled.

“No problem, I’m used to him interrupting my nights,” you chuckled lightly, though it sounded more sexual than you intended for it to.

“Yeah, well,” the stranger said with an awkward laugh, “I’ll get out of your hair then.” And then he turned to leave. “Hischier! Text me in the morning!” He called out one last time and Nico grumbled his acknowledgement. Then his friend was gone, leaving you alone with a drunken twenty-something year old.

“Alright, Nico, let’s get you ready for bed,” you mumbled, more to yourself than to him. He was splayed out on his back on your couch, head lolled against a decorative pillow. If it weren’t for his indecipherable sounds, you would’ve thought he was asleep.

You left him alone for a minute as you retreated back to your room to grab a couple extra blankets and a pillow that wouldn’t end up hurting his neck.

When you returned, Nico was now on his stomach with one arm dangled off the couch.

“Feeling okay, bud?” You asked gently, brushing back a few strands of his hair to check if he was still awake. He hummed a quiet ‘yeah’ and you lifted his head to replace the throw pillow with a fluffier one from your bed.

You draped one large blanket over his body and then set another smaller one on top of that. Nico sighed in content and you made a quick trip to the kitchen to retrieve a couple Advil pills and a glass of water.

“Can you drink this before you fall asleep?” You asked when you got back to the living room. 

Despite his intoxication, Nico managed to sit up just enough to swallow the pills down with a drink of water before flopping his head back down. You set the half-full glass on the coffee table and leaned over to turn off the lamp.

“You good to sleep?” You questioned, and Nico nodded his head to the best of his ability.

“I’ll be in my room if you need anything,” you said finally, making your way back to the hallway.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he said quietly before you were out of hearing range, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Nico,” you murmured with a small smile.

-

4.

“How the hell did this even happen? Sticks are supposed to remain on the ice, you know,” you wondered with curiosity. 

Nico knocked on your door at nearly midnight, hair still damp from his shower and still in his Devils sweats. If it weren’t for the fact that you were awake and watching a movie, you wouldn’t have noticed the knocking. 

When you opened the door, you were met with split stitches and tired eyes. Ushering him into your apartment, you led him to the bathroom where you kept the first-aid. 

Nico pushed himself up so he could sit on your counter and gave you a sheepish smile.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “They stitched me up after the game, but they came out.”

“So, why didn’t you contact your trainers or something?” You inquired, opening your kit and grabbing the alcohol.

“Because I have a perfectly good nurse here at home to stitch me back up,” he answered with an easy grin. You gave him an incredulous look.

“It seems like I’m constantly getting the short end of the stick in this relationship,” you said as you stepped between his legs to inspect his face. It wasn’t anything serious, just a few stitches that broke. In all honesty, he probably could’ve survived the night without fixing it, but you weren’t going to turn down an opportunity to be this close to him.

“Close your eyes,” you ordered before he could say anything back. Nico followed your instruction obediently, fluttering his eyes shut as if he had all the time in the world.

Using a small pair of scissors, you snipped at the remaining stitches. You took the tweezers next and gently pulled at the broken strands, slowly removing them from his cheek. Nico’s eyes twitched slightly at the discomfort, but he said nothing as you reopened his wound.

“You’re really good at this,” he stated, and you noticed that he had opened one eye to watch you. You blushed at his compliment, your cheeks heating at the warm feeling you got when you looked into his eyes.

Averting his gaze, you muttered a quiet ‘thank you’ before opening an alcohol pad.

“You’re going to want to really close your eyes for this, it might burn,” you recommended. The cut was along his cheekbone, stretching about three inches and oozing just a little bit of blood.

You cleaned along the cut lightly, one of your hands cupping his cheek while the other managed the wipe. After throwing the bloodied pad off to the side, you brought out the small bottle of lidocaine you had stashed away underneath all your bandaids. You squeezed a bit onto a cotton swab and dabbed the area around the cut. The lidocaine took a few minutes to kick in, so you busied yourself by preparing the thread and sanitizing the needle.

“I want you to know that I’m not actually a certified nurse yet. I’m still in training,” you explained. “So, if this hurts it’s your fault.”

“I trust you,” he said simply with a smirk.

“I would hope so,” you scoffed, “You’re letting a nursing student with a needle stitch near the eye of the New Jersey Devils Captain.”

“Besides, if you fuck up, I’ll just blame it on you when we lose after I can’t play because I’ve been blinded,” he teased.

“Don’t even joke about that, Nico. All of New Jersey would burn me alive,” you said, slugging his arm in response.

Was he about to let a beautiful, uncertified girl stitch him back together just because he wanted an excuse to spend more time with her? Absolutely.

He gave you a light chuckle as he leaned back on his hands, the fabric of his t-shirt stretching deliciously over his broad chest. It took everything in you to not linger your eyes over his arms and how large they looked right now.

“Is it numb yet?” You asked instead, refocusing your attention on threading the needle.

“Yeah, I think so,” he replied, bringing a couple fingers to poke at his cheek, but you swatted his hand away before he could do more damage.

Taking the same position as before, you stood between his legs again and angled his head slightly to the side so you could examine it under better light.

“Just let me know if it hurts, okay?” You insisted, holding the needle between your tweezers. You waited for Nico’s nod of agreement before starting.

You punctured the skin with the point and crossed the wound before poking through the other side. Nico’s hands instinctively reached out to grasp at your hips as he breathed in a sharp breath of air. 

“Oh my god, is it not numb?” You panicked, pausing all your movements as you gauged his face for any signs of pain.

“It stung a little bit,” he replied, but the tightened grip on your waist said otherwise. “I was just a little shocked, is all.” He added that last part when he saw the worry spread across your face as your eyes widened in fear of hurting him. “Keep going, I’m fine.”

You gave him a hesitant look, not wanting to continue if it was going to cause him pain. This time when he squeezed your sides, it was to reassure you and encourage you to continue. 

Nico kept his hands where they were, sliding his thumbs just underneath the hem of your shirt to trace soft circles into your skin. Recommencing your movements, you repeated the same crisscrossing threads over his cut, trying to work as quickly as possible.

When you’d finished, you knotted off the ends, clipped the remaining thread, and applied a salve over the sealed wound.

“There you go,” you said as you finished touching him up.

“And my kiss to make it feel better?” He asked with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at his presumptuousness but leaned in to press a light kiss near his stitches.

“Can I trust you to not pull them out again?” You retorted, stepping out of his grip to clean up your supplies.

“I don’t know…” he trailed off as in deep contemplation, “I might need you to spend the night and keep an eye on me.”

“Nice try, bud,” you chuckled, “but it’s not going to happen.” He pouted. 

“And if you do tear them again, I’m not restitching it.”

You finished packing away your materials and walked Nico back to your front door.

“Thank you, Y/N,” he said when you opened the door. 

“Anytime,” you replied, “Goodnight, Nico.”

Leaning forward, he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek in appreciation before crossing the few feet to his door. You hoped he couldn’t see the way your eyes widened in shock, but if he did see, he didn’t say anything about it.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

-

+ 1 

For the first time since you’ve met Nico, it was finally your turn to cancel on dinner. You really didn’t want to, as the dinners with him were the highlight of your week, but you knew if you broke concentration for even a minute to entertain him, your mind would be thinking about him even after he left. And you were not going to pass the NCLEX if Nico was invading all of your thoughts. You’d been studying for this exam for months, but now it was a week out and it was crunch time.

You: Gotta cancel on dinner Sunday, sorry :(

Nico: Going out of town? Got a hot date?

You: The only dates I’ll be having for the next week is between me and my millions of notes for my board exam 

Nico: Stressed out?

You: You wouldn’t even believe, so if I’m MIA for a few days, don’t worry 

Nico: Are we still on for next Sunday?

You: Yes. We will either be celebrating or commiserating, so get your wine ready

Nico: I’ll bring over the best since we’ll be celebrating :)

You didn’t know how to reply, so you reacted to his message with a thumbs up before leaving him on read.

-

For the next few days, you studied your ass off. Sunday came, but when six o’clock rolled around, you couldn’t help your thoughts from straying from your studies and over to what you would be doing with Nico if it weren’t for this stupid exam.

And as if he had read your mind, your phone dinged with a new text message.

Nico: Open your door

Your brows furrowed in confusion as you read the text, and you were just about to tell him off for disturbing you after you already told him you didn’t have the time.

However, that wasn’t the case because when you opened your door, Nico was nowhere to be found although a paper bag rested on the ground in front of you. 

Cautiously, you picked up the bag and brought it inside, immediately smelling the tzatziki sauce from your favorite Greek restaurant.

You: What’s this?

You texted him, along with a picture of the bag.

Nico: Even if we aren’t making dinner, you should still eat, and I figured gyros were better than cereal 

He was right. You had planned on pouring yourself a bowl of cereal when the hunger became too much and forced you to take a break. And gyros definitely were better than Frosted Flakes.

You: You’re a lifesaver, truly. Thank you!

Nico opened the message and didn’t reply, even though he really wanted to, but he knew you had studying to do and the last thing he wanted was to distract you.

-

After pulling an all-nighter, Sunday slowly turned into Monday, and you had finally decided to go to bed at nine on Monday morning. The few hours of sleep you got were welcomed, but rest did little to calm yourself down. The exam was on Friday, and you still had four years worth of material to remember. 

So, you dragged yourself out of bed around three in the afternoon and plopped yourself on the ground in front of your couch where all your notes were still spread on the floor.

You’d gotten through about four chapters in your review book before you heard a knock at the door. 

Pushing yourself up by your hands, you crossed the length of the apartment to the door. If it was Nico, he was about to be really turned off by how messy you looked.

And once again, it wasn’t him. 

Just like yesterday, something awaited you in front of your door. This time, it was a four cup drink tray filled with different coffees. 

Picking them up off the ground, you walked it back into your home and set it on your kitchen counter. There was a blue sticky note attached to the top in true Nico style, and you were smiling at the familiar handwriting before you even read what it said.

Thought you could use a pick-me-up :)

PS: I didn’t know what you liked, but you’re NOT allowed to drink these all at once

You chuckled at the last sentence. Of course he would send you four different orders because he didn’t know what you wanted. In all honesty, you could survive on just plain black coffee with nothing added if needed, but the fact that he sent you options had your heart swelling. 

You scanned through each cup, reading the labels on each one as they ranged from a standard black coffee to a sweet caramel latte, all of them iced (you had mentioned once that you only drank iced coffee, even in the middle of the winter). It didn’t slip your mind that this was from that expensive shop a few blocks down, the one you could only allow yourself to go to once a month because you knew it would drain you quickly.

Deciding to tease Nico a little bit, you stuck a straw in every single lid. You connected all four straws in the middle and closed your lips over them and took a drink. The resulting taste wasn’t fantastic, but it was worth the funny selfie you took drinking them that you sent to Nico.

You: What was it that I wasn’t allowed to do? Your note wasn’t clear 

Nico: I’m never sending you coffee again

-

On Tuesday, Nico sent you a bouquet of sunflowers. They were massive and bright and you couldn’t see over them as you placed them on the table.

Hope these sunflowers brighten up your day

-

On Wednesday, Nico got back from his short roadie. Maybe it was the constant studying, or maybe it was the little gifts Nico sent you, but your stress levels seemed to calm down as the week went on. There was still the pressure to do well, but every time Nico sent something to you, it was as if everything became a little bit more manageable.

You invited him over to hang out for a little bit, just to thank him for the things he’d done for you. You expected him to stay for a few minutes, maybe a half hour at the most, and then you’d send him home with some cookies you’d baked for him. Instead, he grabbed the plate of cookies and made himself comfortable on your couch.

“You just made these?” He asked with a mouthful of cookie as he picked up a stack of flashcards. You nodded as you took a seat on the opposite side of the couch.

“What’s the therapeutic drug level for theo… theoph…” he began to say, but trailed off, “Never mind. I was trying to help, but I can’t pronounce any of these words.” He ended the sentence with a chuckle before flicking the flashcard over to you.

“The word is theophylline,” you laughed, “and the answer is 10-20 micrograms per deciliter.”

“I understand none of those words, so that probably means it’s right,” he said as he finished his second cookie.

“If you want to help me I know something you can do,” you said eagerly, “And you don’t even have to speak, just sit there and look pretty.”

“That I can do,” he agreed with a nod and sat up to place the cookies on the coffee table. “Where do you want me?”

“Right there is fine. I’m just going to do a standard routine checkup like you’d get at the doctor’s,” you explained, grabbing your small bag of medical tools.

You ran through your procedure, checking your notes periodically to make sure you asked all the questions. Nico had no problem being your puppet, even answering some questions with ridiculous answers.

“And are you sexually active?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He asked with an eyebrow wiggle. You gave him an unamused glare.

“It’s part of the questions, dumbass,” you rolled your eyes and Nico laughed. “Never mind, I already know the answer anyway.”

“That was one time!” He groaned as he flopped his head back against the cushion. You were obviously referring to the one time you had a run in with one of his hookups. “I haven’t had anyone here since then.”

“Thank god for that,” you muttered, “but she did seem like a nice girl.”

Nico gave you a disbelieving look. You’d ran into them as you were returning from an overnight shift at nearly seven in the morning as Nico was trying to get rid of her, but she was hoping to get another date out of him before she left.

It was an awkward interaction to say the least, and Nico immediately called over to you to get your attention. The girl was displeased because you were interrupting their conversation and also because Nico had used you as an excuse to get out of scheduling another date.

“Oh, Y/N, you still needed me to fix that thing for you, right?” He had asked when he saw you walking down the hall. It took you all of two seconds to process the situation and Nico’s panicked and pleading eyes before you were agreeing. You even threw in the fact that it was urgent and that he needed to help right now, to which the girl gave you an eye roll.

Needless to say, Nico thanked you profusely for saving his ass and never called the girl again. That was over three months ago, and you had yet to see another girl leave his apartment.

“Well, I think I’m done with all the questions,” you concluded finally. “I think it’s safe to say you are in impeccable shape, Mr. Hischier.”

“Is this your subtle way of kicking me out?” He asked.

“Technically, I never invited you to stay. You kind of just sat here and made yourself at home,” you replied.

“I’m sorry for wanting to catch up with my friend after not seeing her in a week,” he joked.

“And you’re going to have to wait another few days for that, bud,” you chuckled.

“Fine, fine,” he conceded, “I’ll go, but I’m taking the cookies.”

“They were yours to begin with, idiot.”

-

On Thursday, you received one final package. It was a wrapped box, obviously done by someone who’s never wrapped a gift in their life. 

Opening it, there was Nico’s same scrawl on the familiar blue sticky note.

Something to look forward to after you ace this exam tomorrow!

Underneath the note was a ticket to a Devils game on Sunday against Vancouver, but it wasn’t the only thing in the box. You pulled out a red sweatshirt with the New Jersey Devils logo on the front. There was nothing on the back, but the number ‘13’ could be seen on both sleeves.

The thought of Nico sending you something with his number on it had your cheeks heating instantly. He’d been teasing you about coming to a game, and it seemed you finally had a reason to go now.

-

After you took your exam, it was like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Your school days were behind you now, and you could now start your career. The exam results still took six weeks, but you were feeling pretty confident in yourself.

Nico had texted you instructions to wait for him after the game on Sunday. He wanted you to try and meet him somewhere, but your navigation skills were terrible and you were sure to get lost in an arena you’d never been in.

So, you met him outside his car in the parking lot where the team parked.

“There he is,” you called out, clapping, when you saw him exit the arena, “First star of the night with two goals, Captain Nico Hischier!” You gave him your best announcer voice.

“Shut up,” he replied with a chuckle, but his face was beaming with a wide smile.

“Good game tonight,” you said with a smile of your own. “Trying to impress someone?”

By this time, Nico had reached the car, and he was dropping his bag on the ground before wrapping his arms around you and lifting you off the ground in a hug.

“I’m always trying to impress you,” he mumbled against your hair before he set you back down.

“Well, consider me impressed,” you gushed. 

“I was thinking...” Nico said after a moment.

“Uh oh,” you interjected with a worried look.

“Don’t be a dork,” he chuckled. “I was thinking that instead of going back home and making dinner I can take you out tonight instead.”

“Celebratory dinner for your win?” You questioned.

“And for your exam,” he added, “And also maybe as a date?” Nico said the last part quietly and quickly averted your gaze.

“Are you asking me on a date, Nico?” You asked for clarification, but the smile on your face was spreading wider as the seconds passed.

“Yes, I am,” he said with a deep swallow.

You squinted your eyes, as if in deep contemplation.

“Well, I’ve only been waiting, like, months for you to ask me,” you teased. “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

“Really?” He asked, eyes bright as he reached out to pull you closer to his body. You hummed in agreement and connected your hands behind his neck.

“I was starting to think you’d never get the hint,” you said quietly.

“I was just waiting for the right time,” he insisted, hands resting on your hips, “And if I’m being honest, I really want to kiss you right now.”

You didn’t answer him in words. Instead, you pushed up on your tip-toes and leaned in to connect your lips to his. The kiss was soft, neither of you wanting to push too far too fast. He moved his lips against yours gently, taking his time to convey how he felt about you.

When you finally pulled back to catch your breath, you both had stupid looks on your face as you were both giddy with joy.

“Atta boy, Cap!” A loud voice shouted across the lot along with some hoots, and you let your head fall against Nico’s chest as you chuckled to yourself.

“Fuck off, Jack!” Nico yelled back before dipping his head down to kiss the top of yours. “Ignore him, he’s annoying. Let’s get out of here before they try and come over.”

“Lead the way,” you said, breaking apart so you could climb in his car. 

-

Six weeks later, your results came in.

You let yourself into Nico’s unlocked apartment. Ever since you started dating, it just seemed a lot easier to leave your apartments unlocked during the day so you could easily bounce between places.

“Nico, it’s here!” You exclaimed, spotting him on the couch. He looked up from whatever show he was watching and paused it immediately when he saw the envelope in your hands.

You basically sprinted across the room and plopped down onto his lap before shoving it into his hands.

“You open it, I can’t do it,” you murmured against the side of his head, your arms slinging over his shoulders as one of his arms wrapped around your waist.

Nico chuckled as he ripped open the paper and pulled out the letter.

“What does it say?” You asked, your head tucked into his neck so you couldn’t read the results.

“Babe…” he said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“What?” You asked worriedly, peeling yourself from his neck to read the letter yourself.

Congratulations! You have passed the NCLEX exam!

You didn’t even bother to read the rest of the letter once you’d read those first two sentences.

“You asshole, that wasn’t funny!” You said, pushing his head away from you as he laughed.

“I thought it was kind of funny,” he replied, “And now my girlfriend is officially a sexy nurse.” Nico pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

“You better get that idea out of your head right now,” you said warningly, already knowing where his thoughts were headed.

“All jokes aside, I’m proud of you, baby,” he said happily.

“I probably would’ve combusted from stress had it not been for your little gifts,” you admitted.

“What can I say? I was so whipped for you,” he said.

“You really were, weren’t you? The flowers and the sweatshirt with your number on it…” you teased, and he poked your side in retaliation.

“Kidding,” you giggled happily, “and I’m whipped for you, too, Nico.”

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Hi, new to the WOT fandom here! What are the production issues from season 1 that you keep referring to? Thanks!

I'm so glad you're wotching!!!!!!

So when amazon commissioned the show, they originally slated the first season to be 10 episodes. After the team had written the entire season's scripts, Amazon pushed them to do rewrites on certain things and shortened the episode count to 8.

The first episode was supposed to be two episodes, probably ending episode 1 with the start of the trolloc attack and then episode 2 would be them choosing to leave the two rivers and emond's field (their hometown), and they had to shorten that to 1 episode, so the pacing in the first episode ends up really wacky and fast. I'm pretty sad about this because part of what makes the first book effective is the contrast between the sleepy pleasant small town life in emond's field and how that peace is destroyed when the plot intrudes. And I think the change made it harder for new fans to attach themselves to the main gang properly.

They also, after amazon's rewrite requests, changed Perrin's early plot significantly. Originally he was going to accidentally kill his blacksmith master, Master Luhan, and after the rewrites he was given a wife who isn't in the books who gets fridged immediately. I guess amazon thought people would only understand the emotional significance of killing a lover and not a mentor. I really didn't like that choice when I first watched it, but I do think now they're going to do something interesting with the aftermath of the dead wife stuff in Perrin's s3 arc.

The shortened episode count also impacts the pacing of the end of the first season, which also got crunched together a bit. The end of the season also had further problems because covid happened, and the last two episodes were interrupted and had to be filmed after a hiatus and with new covid protocols in place, so the characters can't touch during some key scenes at the end. They had to rewrite the scene where Nynaeve and Egwene almost burn out during the battle of Tarwin's Gap on the day of shooting, and I think the scene is less effective as a result.

Also, one of the main actors was unable to return after lockdowns for possibly covid related health reasons, Barney who played Mat, so that's why it was changed and edited so that he doesn't come into the Ways with them in episode 6, and they also had to rewrite the last two episodes to accomodate his absence and then recast Mat for s2.

As a result of all this, episode 1, 7, and 8 in season one are all a little rough around the edges and a lot of book fans, including me, didn't really like the first season when it was airing. I like it more now upon rewatch now that I can see all the stuff they did manage to set up really well for the long haul of the story, but the first season had a difficult reception when it aired, and I think a lot of people let that less than stellar first impression color their opinion of the show as a whole. Which is unfortunate, because almost all* television shows improve as seasons go on and the team behind the show gets into the groove with it, and this one definitely improves each season.

Season 2 was written with the knowledge that it would only be 8 episodes, and they didn't have any interruptions during filming, so it's significantly better in its pacing.

[kidicaruslover911]

Chapter 9: Mournful Whisperings

Mizu x Fem!Reader

summary: Over the course of your travels, you and Mizu find ways to relax around each other.

You finally meet with your master- mother (?) again and it's not pretty.

*inserting devious grinch smile* alone time with mizu????

abit angsty and very very messy afterwards but it gets better, i promise.

LONG ASS CHAPTER AHEAD AND LOTS OF INFORMATION i actually had to cut it in two and rewrite it again bc it's so damn long bro i was in the zone.

est. wc: 18.8k  I think I’m a little insane but its whatever

story on AO3

2 am and interestingly enough, you happened to have had the place all to yourself, which was an extremely rare occurrence when resting in the plain conditions most establishments had to offer.

It had to be the second or third day of your journey towards Yunjing's humble abode and between the constant walking, training and horse riding, you had yet to find some time to properly wash yourself and neither did Ringo or his master.

Although you did try your best by stopping by any hot spring you could find on your way, unfortunately, there weren't many.

The more you got to think about it though, the more you guessed that Mizu wasn't planning on washing herself either way, given the fact that there weren't any occasions around this time and sneaking past the female owner of the inn really wasn’t an option either. 

It almost made you feel itchy and did end up leaving you as the only one to enjoy the sento, giving you the opportunity to wallow within a very limited personal vice of yours.

Nicotine and its calming effects.

To smoke peacefully and away from prying eyes.

'Yikes.'

You stretched your arms, joints popping during the process, warm water enveloping your body, sinking into your muscles and soothing the tension you hadn't realized you had been holding for the longest time.

For the first time in days, you felt the knot in your shoulders ease, the constant hum of stress that had clouded your thoughts fading into the background.

You leaned back against the wooden tub, eyes half-closed, arms spread out against the edges of the wet wood, small and silver kiseru pipe resting in your right hand while letting the heat soak deep into your bones.

That pipe, you had always kept it on yourself which often did not fail to bring back lonely memories to your mind, of bygone ages and memories in which you were doing ten times worse than now.

You had randomly told Ringo before, (for once not dodging his questions) that you weren't a chain smoker but for reasons you didn't feel like elaborating on, you decided that once in a while couldn't hurt, at least that’s what you said.

Especially in your case, your guilty pleasure had to die down eventually a bit if you were hoping to live just a tad longer.

'Never get a vacation, you find ways to take one...'

And the brothels didn't really help either, it’s not like you were the most grounded person in those spaces and the rumors showed it.

Those gossipy prostitutes had struck once again yet somehow you couldn’t seem to care less.

If there was one thing you knew, it was that over the course of the years, you had absolutely bettered yourself and you were the only one to congratulate on that.

Whether one believed it or not, there was indeed a timeline in which you smoked two to three pipes a day, cause of constant stress and anxiety, waves of depression and mania and the nicotine burning instrument had grown to have seen rougher days from which you subtracted it down to once every two to three weeks, mainly because of your health and because you were getting closer to one of your main goals.

You did hope for your addiction to come to a halt soon.

There were no signs of promises though.

Speaking about coming to a halt, your short lived moment of solace was accidentally interrupted by the semi loud creaking from the bathrooms sliding door, causing you to pause the inhalation of your next drag, small clouds of smoke lazily dissipating from your lips as you proceeded to set the kiseru aside before craning your neck back to get a better view of the intruder.

Fact was that you really hadn’t expected to see anyone with the need to wash themselves that deep into the night and yet here they were.

The sound had hit you like brick and if you didn't know any better, you'd have let out one hell of a gasp.

Your stupefaction died down pretty fast too.

"Oh-" The cheeky grin on your face said it all and you had yet to expect it.

A blow of hot steam mixed with the thick scent of soap hit Mizu's face, her eyes skillfully avoiding to look anywhere she shouldn't which made you rotate your head a bit more at her, slightly confused but not bothered by it in any type of way.

It actually made you unbelievably happy a nd she was fast too, one second Mizu was undoing her chignon and the next she had already soundlessly slid into the small bath with you, right before you'd have the chance to make out any significant parts of her nude body amidst the rather heavy steam. 

That and the burning water were the only things covering up her and she liked it that way, regardless whether it was you she was bathing with or not.

It made things more or less…’difficult’ for her and you never missed an opportunity to mess around with her for it, not that you ever meant any of the things you said but as always it was just fun to poke and prod at the samurai for your own amusement.

Then again this was only the second time she wordlessly allowed you to witness her like this  and didn't bother asking why.

If she felt comfortable enough around you or if it just truly was the tremendous need to clean herself, you’d be the last one to complain about.

After all, you grew to think of it as a privilege of its own, to see Mizu… unraveling herself from that stoic vagabond persona she so well portrayed, even just for a moment, presenting herself as honest and sensible as she’d allow herself to be around you.

And that in itself was…something.

The water almost reached up to her clavicle and by the looks and sounds of it, she needed this bath just as bad as you did, a similar sound of contentment gracing your ears.

'Hm.' You mindlessly bit at the inside of your cheek.

You weren't children anymore and so you couldn't have felt more honored and just a tad shy (you'd never let her know) at the fact that she did end up deciding to wash and decompress herself in your presence, you couldn't help but smile.

The context was different, yet this was the second time the samurai was intruding on you while you were trying to cool off, enjoy a moment of rest and it seemed like she just couldn't help herself, always breaking in on at the 'wrong time'.

Not that any of you seriously minded.

Seriously, what about you had she not seen at this point?

You had been inside of the bath for about thirty minutes by now so naturally, "I would've expected you'd already be done-"

She started with a more breathy voice, eyes averting your gaze while she tried to ease up her shoulders and back a bit, making the sides of your lips turn upwards instantly.

You still were in a public Onsen after all.

Steam rose gently from the surface of the bath, curling around her slender form like a soft, comforting blanket.

The flickering oil lamp in the corners of the room casted a soft, golden glow, its scent of lavender mingling with the steam and a faint whiff of nicotine.

’She smokes…?’

The cobalt eyed woman didn't comment on it since, one, she never actually thought about it or expected it and you were grown.... and two, health issues put aside, from the short instant she had caught you handle that pipe, she effortlessly thought that it suited you…unbelievably well. 

Not catching herself thinking beforehand once again she thought that the silver in your hand  made you look...important and chic, very sore to the eye as always.

It made her skin crawl in confusion and guilt.

"Alrigggght, I get it now, Mizu" Pushing a bit back in the water to give her space, your voice sneered at her, a teasing tone meeting her ears which simultaneously painted themselves red.

"..." It was the waters heat.

"You sure this isn't about you really wanting to see me naked?"

There she was and she immediately went to suck her teeth, rolling her eyes only to return them at you, staring you down and seemingly not amused at all.

It almost didn't sound like a question and the woman should have pinched you by now. 

Maybe she didn't need to take a bath that badly after all, she pondered but at the end of the day, you were both women, and that, well, it made almost everything simpler, and many times all the more difficult.

Not always but...your bodies, stripped of adornment, of any need to mask or hide, never carrying the weight of complete judgment between you ever since you had found one another again.

Comfortable, and even though she tried not to, your situation turned out a bit awkward, especially with some moments you choose to joke around with her.

After all, Mizu didn't show herself completely bare to you, the last time you had stopped at a hot spring you had covered your eyes for her to get undressed until she had set herself in the rejuvenating waters. 

Simply shaking her head, she cocked an insensitive brow at you, "I'd rather not" while throwing off a breathy chuckle and eyeing you a second later, Mizu was at a loss for words and just a bit…lost.

‘Just what is it with her-…’ She didn’t dare finish that thought, she didn’t need to and the feeling was absolutely not wanted.

You were sitting on the other side of the hot tub now, right in front of her and her response made you cock a brow, not taking her words personally while you threw your head over your shoulders, humming in a curious manner as a response.

Funny.

"A lot of lying today,"

Nonchalance dripping from your tongue, you scoffed. Like usual, you were just toying with her and she didn’t always exactly know how to handle it.

Your attitude and…’humor’.

Not that she completely hated it. It was just...bold, tickling and it never completely ceased.

Another unsure look. "If you prefer, I can leave right now?" You heart almost skipped  a beat.

No.

No, it didn't, you had simply gotten shivers from the wet skin area that had been slightly exposed to the damp air.

It made you shiver, that was all.

"No..." You murmured, head rolling back up to look at her.

Properly holding eye contact with her this time, you shamelessly drowned in her image, quenching your thirst for a few moments until you realized once again, that this actually was your first time seeing her so...easygoing?

Serene.

That was it.

You liked it and  you weren't that full of yourself either. 

Obviously enough you didn't want her to leave.

Not when you had her all to yourself like this, l ike a rare flower that only bloomed once every full moon in the dark of the night with two striking patches of blue adorning her core.

A girl.

A very pretty girl.

That and the more...subtle yet still apparent reliance that grew whenever it was just the two of you.

It was unspoken and as much as Mizu tried to refrain herself from showing it too much, you could tell.

It wasn’t really a secret anymore.

Your friend was always very straight forward and mostly truthful with you, but you felt as if tonight she was just a bit more open, a bit more indulging and not, or almost not on guard mode at all.

She was bare and it made you fall silent just for an instant which passed by way too fast for you to take any notice of it.

‘She looks very pretty like this.’ You thought for the Xth time and it had turned into an indisputable fact for you by now.

From the way she spoke, to her mannerisms and down to the way she presented herself most of the time, masculine or not, she was hypnotizing.

The more you watched, the more she fitted your nocturnal flora description, h er hair cascading around her, a dark river of ink that spilled down her swan like neck and over her collarbone, curling gently at the edges as it floated on the surface of the water.

For a moment, you were drawn to its depth, the way it seemed to merge with the warm embrace of the bath b ut before your gaze could wander any further, remembering who it was you were ogling at, you pulled it back, focusing on what she was saying and the now sheepish expression resting on her face.

Her eyes were a drawn a little wide, brows raised in slight surprise with her mouth agape in a quiet breath.

She was sitting pretty next to you like this, like a painting. The person next to you.

Right.

That person was your friend.

And that same friend only rasped with a small pinch on your neck which made you crack up in a small hiss, playfully bumping her shoulder in response.

"Just because I look like a man, doesn't mean I have to smell like one?" Mizu scoffed playfully, making a chuckle erupt from your chest.

"Obviously. Mizu, I was joking." She hoped you were??? 

You wondered and soon enough asked about how she even managed to pass by that old and noisy lady?

The proprietor of the establishment was an elder woman whose husband had died not too long ago, finally leaving her with an entire guest house to manage on her own.

Seemed like that granny had nothing better to do than to start a small talk with every single passerby, which soon enough turned into an insufferable series of pushy questions, directly shooting unruly assumptions about you and your friend.

Not like the lady even tried minding her own business when you first asked for three separate rooms, she immediately assumed that your 'husband' had angered you in some type of way, making you want to sleep away from him for the night.

People's perception of you two was definitely...interesting and you guessed that it was most beneficial to keep it that way.

It took everything in Ringo for him to keep his lips closed and let the moment pass by as the owner of the inn went on and tried to dig deeper into why you didn't want to share a room with your 'husband' at the moment, which you simply cut short by saying that you didn't want to talk about it, swallowing down a ridiculous grin at your 'husband's' indifference at the lady's rambles.

Being too curious isn't always an...adequate trait, you might add. 

Yet you were a woman and well, for legal reasons you needed your dear husband as your chaperone, right?

Gods, you hated small talk.

'Men will be men' The older woman had tapped your shoulder in as a consolating gesture. 'You shouldn't be too hard on him' was her last piece of advice to you when all you could do was share a dumbfounded stare with your navy friend who only shrugged, not adding anything else to the discussion.

'Men will be men.....' Right.

Not your ‘husband’ though…

"Let people believe what they want to, you're my very angry 'wife' after all, remember?"

And you could’ve sworn that you heard a faint layer of pride and downiness in that fake statement of hers, closed eyes while slightly turning towards you, keeping a respectful distance between the two of you at all times.

At the sight of it, your own confused gaze softened, slowly transforming into a wry, lopsided smirk.

Little did this madam know that if it actually came down to it, if the circumstances were different and if she truly were a man, Mizu would have at least tried her very best to keep a wedded life pleasurable for her 'wife', and refrain from angering you in that sort of way.

It made no sense.

Happy wife, happy life, no? 

Makes no sense...

"Of course...my my, then I must the luckiest woman in the world, right?"

You cupped your cheeks for dramatic effects, ducking a bit deeper into the water as you spoke and while you didn't know when or why it happened, it was barely visible and yet, she was simpering and after letting out a chuckle of your own, for your own good, you tried not to read too much into it.

‘This woman...’

Soon enough there was another long silence, the soft flicker of oil lamps dancing across the walls, casting long shadows that swayed gently in the quiet.

The air felt thick, heavier than it should have been, as if every breath the both of you took carried the weight of things unspoken. 

Things that weren't necessarily bound by vengeance or infected with murder and the both of you knew it.

It was unspoken and the two of you stood by it.

Whatever unspoken topics you held back, both of you didn’t dare to ruin it all and decided to keep it on edge.

Feeling the water levels shift poorly again, you anticipated Mizu's barely opened lips preparing to speak before abruptly, shutting closed tightly, a small wince escaping her, expression tight as you watched her turn to the side a bit more, one hand covering her mouth while the other had a finger roaming in it, searching for some sort of relief.

"Ah ..." Almost pained, the finger seemed to search deeper and deeper for the intruder, and after a few more seconds, she found it.

This went on for a minute or two and you were hesitant at first but moved closer to her, carefully tapping on her shoulder before completely placing your hand on the higher part of her back.

She didn't react and it made you let out a sigh of relief that you didn't even know you were holding but you'd digress.

"Something bothering you?" You asked, voice gently laced with concern.

Whatever was hurting her, it didn't look pretty.

"Stubborn teeth. Nothing serious but..."

Mizu had to speak a bit more slowly now but from what she explained to you, when she had just started her quest of revenge, she had happened to have fought some vagabonds after trying to gain information about the white men she was looking for.

She lost the battle, got stabbed and thrown out like some piece of shit. 

When she got thrown, she had fallen onto her face and that's when one of her back teeth chirped, leaving her with something akin to a minuscule knife tearing up the inside of her cheek whenever she tried to talk and though it had been a few years already, it still happened from time to time.

"It is not very pleasant." It took you back to when you were younger, you remembered how your master had the same problem and Asano's solution was always pretty simple.

He had learned to soothe his wife's pain in an almost gentle and painless manner which consisted in rubbing down onto the concerned tooth with extremely moderate pressure in order to less irritate your mother and every time he'd be done, she claimed to feel better...

So?…

Blink blink blink.

Blinking once, then twice and then a third time again before you opened your mouth again, à short exhale fanning against your friends skin before it then finally hit you.

Silence but…

You wanted to help.

While the slender woman was practically still scratching her teeth into oblivion, you tenderly took the liberty upon yourself to remove her hand from her mouth, meeting momentarily resistance and a suspicious glare.

"I fear that you scratching it won't make it feel any better..." You returned an assured expression, sitting right next to her now, skin touching underwater which you ignored at the instant.

And she did too.

"It does the job for me." 

Meeting her with an exasperated sigh, you only shook your head further before your fingers hovered near Mizu's humid jaw, her hand shooting up to grab at your wrist out of reflex, keeping your hand at bay, she squeezed, the sudden yet quiet vulnerability of the moment settling over her like a weight, blood shooting towards her ears for no specific reason.

You two were already awfully close and her watchful eye didn’t help. 

This wasn’t one of your senseless tricks and games, she knew she could trust you this time.

Or did she really?

"What do you think you're doing?" She snapped at you in an instant, not in a mean way, she just didn't expect it.

"I know what to do. My master had the same issue when I was younger." It took her about a good ten seconds until you felt her hand slide down from your wrist down to your elbow, settling there.

An exhale.

She didn't know what to expect but this placement felt the most...acceptable.

You didn't flinch.

Your tone was low and serious yet still filled with a certain air of care.

"....Don't try anything stupid..." An undeniable warning.

Whatever she meant with that, you’d respect it either way and e ven if she glared halfheartedly, she trusted you.

You knew she did.

You didn't want her to hurt and your tone surely didn't help her to keep up her guard...

"Let me handle this for you." Now kneeling upwards, you tilted her head back up towards you with your fingers, rising out of the water to get a better view of her mouth and simultaneously revealing your bare and defined upper body’s muscles to her, which again, she avoided staring at like an awkward teenager.

Her hand progressively relaxed, until it was barely caressing across your elbow for support, surprisingly letting you guide her through this while you simply stuck to the task at hand.

You felt her cold and slippery digits tense up at your elbow. Immediately, you went to reassure her.

You were a doctor after all.

"Don't worry, I promise, I'll be gentle." Staring right past her azure globes and ignoring the sudden heat in the back of your neck, your fingers softly brushed against the curve of the samurai's cheek.

(doctor doctor, i wasn't familiar with your game-)

The bathwater lapped quietly at the sides of the tub again as you reached toward your friends mouth, her hand growing warm and steady despite the nervous flutter in her own chest as you leaned down closer to her face, your thumb now sliding over her lower lip, silently asking for permission to enter.

"You'll feel better, just… trust me,” You said, the words meant to reassure again, though you could hear the edge of nervousness in your own voice.

”May I?…”

Mizu glanced at you for what felt like an eternity, eyes wary but trusting, her lips slightly parting as she waited for your touch.

’You may.’ She didn’t have to say it, neither did she really want to.

Mizu was…

Obedient to say the least.

At least for this brief moment.

You handled it like stroll in the park. At least you'd like to think.

Pressure? What pressure?

You calmed your breathing pattern, feeling the warm air slowly getting to your exposed breasts and its peaks hardening at the slight shift of the temperature, which you knew Mizu didn't mind because she was just the same as you.

You just didn't really care as long as it was a female individual. 

But she still noticed.

Slowly, you extended your finger, the tip gently brushing over the woman's swollen gums, moving carefully toward the back of her mouth, where the sensitive tooth had been causing all the discomfort.

Mizu tensed up for another moment but then sighed, her hold on your elbows tightening for a short instant before the pressure of your thumb led to a strange kind of relief, though the discomfort still lingered.

You continued to move your finger in small, deliberate circles, applying just the right amount of pressure, as though trying to coax the stubborn ache to let go. 

She focused on your breathing, the slow and steady rhythm of your continuously rising and falling glittering bust, shortly becoming her center before she mentally averted herself.

You were insane.

Eyes looking up, back to the side, back up, maybe if she looked to the side.. the rain in her irises kept swaying back and forth, unable to decide.

Mizu's ears were on fire and it didn't help that the proximity between the two of you gave her no other choice but to stare, as much as she tried to act unbothered which at least to you, she did a pretty good job at.

You were insane.

And her eyeballs couldn't help but wander because of your gorgeous complexion, suave eyes, that nose with its inimitable wings, those lips with such well-defined contours, the intricate softness of your features undoubtedly eclipsed even those with the most stunning faces.

Your beauty that had withstood so many physical and mental corsets, so many constraints, absurd prohibitions, sadism, conspiracies and humiliations -

It was your doll like face, your scarred and toned waist and the softness of your bosom you so mindlessly exposed with the way you looked down at her, fiercely concentrated and not to be deterred...and then all of a sudden, the tilt of your own head and a breath of your lips that revealed a simple treat she had yet to discover.

You were insane and it would've been a matter of time until you'd have heard your friends heart thudding in her chest, feeling the delicate nature of the moment, of the trust she placed in you just because and without too much hesitation whatsoever... 

Those small circles you kept rubbing into her mouth, Mizu unconsciously replicated them gently onto the edge of your elbow, and it took you every muscle and willpower in your being to not cup her entire face-

What were you doing? 

Naked, thighs slightly touching with another woman,  with your thumb in her mouth and your eyes blurring at the feeling of her lips around you...

Her lips around your thumb…with her hooded and heavy eyes looking up at you.

Digging deeper and deeper into your core as if she had long understood…

The wetness of her tongue tingling at the side of your digit…

You were insane.

Soaked all over, (literally) warmth radiating out off of your sculpted bodies onto one another, breaths fanning over each others glowing faces…

A fine line between unknown insanity and practiced restraint.

Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale… the both of you were doing an amazing job at keeping it casual and it showed. 

Your mission seemed to come to an end when you noticed Mizu’s quietness and lack of reaction, slowing down the rhythm of your finger within her mouth, naturally keeping up with her intense gaze that had been burning a hole right through you, her fingers caressing you and still tightening, scraping right across your skin whenever it was too much...

But she never made you stop. Almost didn't want you to.

She followed your every move down to the raise of your brows until she felt something akin to a harsh slip. 

It hurt but it was over soon and still, you didn’t hesitate to apologize immediately…

The last rub was the most intensive one, to the point where your aloof 'husband' let out a small gasp combined with a much more intense grip on your forearm which you decided to ignore for the sake of your own sanity.

You had turned sloppy towards the end and Mizu was convinced.

You were insane.

What the hell was going on? 

You stopped, checking on last time before removing your thumb from her at once, heavy eyes on you while the back of your fingers grazed her cheek.

To make sure she was doing  well and the pain was all gone.

It was an accident.

"There, all done..Feeling better?" 

You were insane.

”I suppose so. Thank you.” A nod.

You had to be.

”You’re welcome.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since that Heiji Shindo guy first mentioned it, you felt like the two of you had reached at point in your journey where people automatically assumed that you were married, a samurai couple, since you still walked around with your faithful katana bound to your hip and honestly, none of you felt like going out of your way to say otherwise.

Mizu had already found her way to navigate around it all and weirdly enough, it didn’t really surprise you.

When it came to acting and playing an acceptable role in the eyes of society and to its fullest extent as well, neither of you were to be underestimated.

And again, it showed. 

"Oh and...You should've listened to what the lady was saying earlier, it's a mixed Onsen, Y/N. So there was no need for me to sneak around her or anything of the sort." Mizu was talking about the old woman from earlier again.

People really were gullible, or it was just the two of you, being born as excellent actors.

Either way, you would have expected the granny to eye Mizu more intently and to ask her more about her ‘quarrels’ with you, holding her up and acting as insufferable as ever…but the woman didn’t.

Apparently.

The more you thought about it the more it would’ve been a way to give her even more false ideas...

"Plus, it's very late into in the evening,  so I doubt that any more people will be gracing us with their presence tonight."

At least the owner of the inn had assured her and therefore she felt just a little more comfortable to wash herself up for the short time being.

She didn't want to push her luck too much after all.

Right.

Like you had concluded earlier, you did have the place for yourselves with Ringo being knocked out right after he got into his room and Mizu disappearing into her own, you felt favored by the gods.

And now she was here with you.

You sunk deeper, chin almost touching the clear surface with your arms wrapping around your body underneath the water while your mind turned a bit fuzzy, your eyes felt compelled to plainly watch, an intrepid compliment lingering on your tongue.

Her.

It was apparent that it had been too long since she'd allowed herself something like this—

She’d been too busy, always rushing through the country on her pursuit of the remaining three men, barely able to catch her breath.

But now, here she was.

She let out another slow, contented sigh, her fingertips tracing the edge of the tub, the water rippling softly in response.

Your words came out in a whisper, almost like a forbidden spell. "Then I'm glad."

And you knew she was listening, sinking yourself even deeper until it was only your nose and eyes staring ahead of you, the rest of your body drowned in warm comfort.

'I get to see you like this.' you repeated in your consciousness, a tickling sense of courage taking over your mind. It wasn’t calculated, nor was it a joke and there wasn’t much struggle either.

She was attractive…to you.

Your type even. 

In a friendly way of course, and even then you thought you'd let her know.

There was no shame in it.

"Believe it or not, I think you're very...satisfying to look at Mizu. Very pretty. "

Her characteristics… they complimented each other well, never failing to steal your attention.

Yet you still had to be careful with the way you sounded, even when you let your heart speak.

Seriousness with the blend of a soft treat mixed in your tone, and you didn't just mean that now, the thought actually came to you pretty often lately and right now you had no intentions of hiding that from her.

It is ok to find your friend good looking, right?

You said it casually enough either way and her true emotions had unraveled for just a moment.

"..."

In hopes to not scare her off with your comment, you tried your best to make it sound as amicable as possible and not some sort of sick joke as you caught a part of her relaxed state stand stiff at your words.

Shocked?

Taken aback?

Azure eyes shot open again, not necessarily feeling the need to face you just yet.

Her already quiet demeanor stood still...a bit too still, silence creeping up your back as if the whole room was holding her breath with her.

Oh no...you saw her look downwards, seemingly towards where her chest was hidden by the waters and steam, feeling your stomach sink for just a moment and her prolonged quiet didn't help.

"I…I didn't mean to offend-" What demon had possessed you to say something like this again?

"Huh..." the woman started out, before slowly all too carefully as if not to spill any more water, turning to look at you in your entirety.

Her gaze lingered, distant and yet still so close, cerulean irises tracing the edges of your face, searching not for answers but something...more elusive, tender and honest.

Why would you lie to her like this, knowing what she had faced on a daily basis?

Why would you do something like that?

Or maybe, staring more intently now, you weren't lying?

Well, with you, one could never really tell.

”Pretty?…”

Another short silence until she broke it with a barely audible scoff.

"I don't get it...." Mizu replied slowly, small timid waves moving along with the way she spoke to you, full of honesty and respect.

She meant every word that left her mouth, "but you're very beautiful yourself. I hear people telling you all the time. They see it and naturally it's only the truth." She breathed shortly and her words almost pinched your heart.

You didn’t think of yourself as ugly per say but, ever since he happened to have been out of your life, you avoided mirrors and other such things that threatened to reflect back at you.

He completely destroyed the way you saw yourself and whenever you thought about the situations your looks, character and naivety had ended up putting you in at the time, you wished you were born a bit less fortunate in that sense.

With a different mouth, or a bit more lively skin, or a bit less distance between your front teeth, a smaller nose…

Anything that did not remind him of her.

He married you because of her-

And you, young, unexperienced and dumb as you were, lived cluelessly, transgressing and questioning your own grasp on reality.

The short lived union practically left a sealed perception of men and their most sinful motives ingrained into the deepest parts of your consciousness, always keeping you at edge.

It was a nicely decorated trap with no exit in sight except for death and finality itself with you, a bewitching mannequin, a replacement, a 'consolation price' at the heart of it all.

From a bright and promising soul to the devil and all its perverted fantasies himself...w hat good use was beauty when you couldn’t even recognize who you truly were from within anymore?…

Innocence, was it?

That privilege has been ripped from away from you a long time ago, like  a ripe fruit with parasites feasting at it from the inside, slowly spiraling into whatever name you had become…

The things men would call you…

Men will be men.

Fiend, Demon, Beast…Men would always be regular men and their fury was no different.

A man’s wrath was one thing… but the Damsel’s was another.

Men would always be regular men, but the Damsel of Devastation was the devil.

So they said.

The devil…that was what your line of work turned you into, because you let it.

A woman’s wrath…

Word on the street said it was explosive, brutal and vile, the injuries found on the bodies sometimes looking more akin to animalistic ripping and stabbing rather than anything else really, since most of the time, you were unable to keep what was left of your emotions under control and ‘work’ was practically the only way to let it all out.

And it was all true, your recent encounters with Taigen only serving as a pre taste of what you usually let yourself into.

And that same dark spot within you helped in convincing you that there was no reason to feel bad about it at all either.

Your hurt and short temper, pretentious arrogance and lack of self control at ‘work’ and even before.

But…

You weren’t always like that though, there was a time where you tried to erase yourself from men’s radars, to be kind and docile, non problematic and truly willing to try and bend yourself to societal norms.

To bring honor to your family, to marry, to quit swordsplay and to bear his children even when it felt wrong and unnatural to you.

Soft on every single level.

That was a long time ago though and your encounter with himhad taught you differently.

But what did that mean to you?

Cleansing was far too insufficient for you by now and you had no intentions of redeeming yourself whatsoever, that was out of the question.

The damage this bond had done to your soul irreversible.

It was all a bad dream, a facade, things you had left behind but that never ceased to plague your mind at the end of each passing day, when you worked had finally become nothing, his mark still on the back of your neck, something you had long enough considered to cut off and out your skin once and for all.

And yet you couldn’t, never had the courage to do so even after all those years.

The ‘Damsel of Devastation’ and the red ‘crane’ on her back…an irremovable thorn forcefully blown into the shadows of your nape.

 A restless wandering corpse, with an unquenchable thirst for more foul blood to spill, to punish and to keep it going…

Except that you didn’t decompose half as fast as one would have expected you to by now, no, you were more defiant.

That thing that had been burned deep into you…you’d never forget.

But Mizu could not know, she didn’t have to.

You didn’t really want her to.

And you’d try to keep it that way. 

Poison.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that your heart had climbed back to its usual spot, you could breathe again only to ask yourself two seconds later if you the one that was dumb or just stupid.

What was  there not to understand in what you were saying?

The quiet that reigned now wasn't awkward or heavy but it definitely left you confused and without thinking, you shifted slightly, carefully inching closer, letting the warmth of the water guide you forward.

You wanted to be closer to her again.

You wanted to understand, you..."Mizu...I don't understand what you don't understand.." And her answer hit you like a gut wrenching punch.

How could you forget? How could she forget?

Did she still think she looked that awful? 

"I don't understand what you're calling pretty." Right. 

To be unsightly in a man’s world, wasn't that comparable to death itself?

Death of one's own...but not in your eyes.

You dared to answer with no filter whatsoever.

“You.” It was fearless and the intensity of your voice muted your friend in a moment of awe and something else, something deeper…more rooted.

And yet she only scowled, brows raising once again.

You should’ve known better.

“Really...Let's just say that no one has ever used that to describe me...” To her you were always pretty and ten times more alive than the others.

“No one?”  To the rest of the world, what was she?

You should’ve known better.

Not even her own husband had dared to compliment her and there you came spouting such nonsense from your lips.

Unless the words ‘You’re not as hideous as I expected’ were supposed to count as a compliment.

It was the closest thing he ever said concerning her appearance. Her husband’s words, not yours of course.

And then there was you…

"...but thank you.” It came out as a whisper and Mizu slid back up a little. It was sincere.

Your head tilted at her, straightening your back which minimally revealed your chest to the damp air. Her thanks meant enough, it answered your question more than it should have but...

"Not even men- Oh uhm...right"

The more you spoke, the more brainless and sorry you felt for her and she went back to closing her eyes along with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Nope. Not their cup of tea I'm afraid." It made you break a scoff. Men will always be men, right?

'Mine neither. The men part.' You thought casually, " Oh actually you'd be surprised."

And again, you meant what you said, causing her storm-like eyes to flutter open again, frowning at you with an attitude.

After all, as far as you knew, same sex relationships between men had always been quite frequent, if not even rampantly accepted and welcomed by the Japanese society, especially between daimyos and within the ranks of the samurai...it was practically a norm.

Honorable even.

Although for women, it was ultimately more rare, questioned and borderline looked down upon.

Unorthodox.

(did my research ppl in the edo period were legit like ‘lmaoo yeah being gay is honorable ok but wlw? why should that exist??? of course it wasn't forbidden but it was definitely more lowkey!)

But what did that matter to you?

"You're already unbelievably handsome during the day and then you turn even prettier when you're....like this...at night?  If I were a man, I would've already been courting you, no questions asked." 

You stared back at her with nothing else but meaningfulness, while she was not entirely sure to have heard you right. 

You were insane and she felt like splashing you to keep you from blabbering such nonsense.

You were 'the Damsel' after all...

"You don't know what you're saying..." Except that you did and right now, she didn’t exactly know how to handle it.

'What an odd thing to say...'

You had to be insane, there was no other way.

You threw such strong words into the conversation and Mizu's jaw tightened and yet, before she could rethink about it, "Have you ever even been courted before?"

Leaving you a bit confused and tucked into a corner by now.

'What the hell??'

Mentally face palming herself, she cursed and didn't know what she was even expecting to gain from t hat.

What did she care if you had already been pursued? And even if you did it could've hardly been-

It's not like it was any of her business and besides-

"Yes" Your answer was nasty and short but quite simple in the end.

You didn’t seem to recall it fondly though.

"....By a man?"

The question rolled off naturally with a bit too much disappointment and yet before she could 'correct' herself, something in the air had shifted, like the playful tug of a hidden spark.

Mizu noticed it first-

Your hand, just beneath the surface, moved slowly, like a quiet invitation. A mischievous glint flickered in your eyes as you glanced at the woman besides you, a faint smirk pulling at the corners of your lips.

"Wait no...forget I ev-"

Before Mizu could react, you flicked her wrist, sending a sudden splash of warm water towards her, the droplets hitting the woman's face with a soft splash, the water tickling her skin as she gasped in surprise.

You had beat her to it, h er eyes widened, and before you could stop herself, you laughed—a bright, surprised sound that echoed against the walls.

Your hand covered up a bit of your sunshine like smile before lowering it just enough to bite your index a little, in an attempt to calm your laughing down only to finally reveal the treat the samurai had caught a glimpse of earlier, back when you helped her soothe her pain. 

There was a small gap between your two front teeth.

It was precious, it was what caused her smile right after you and she didn't care enough to curse herself for it right now.

"Oh…” No matter what you always seemed get bolder and bolder the more time you spent with her, she couldn’t get enough of the beam that would present itself whenever you tried to annoy, tease and get reactions out of her.

Now was one of those moments again.

And she enjoyed it.

”You’re going to regret this Y/N…” 

”Is that a promise? Or just an empty threat?”  The small gap between your front teeth showing itself once again.

You were giggling like a child.

“You do that again and I can promise you that you will be dealt with…” Her gaze was unmistakable, glimmering with malicious intent.

”Properly.”

The last word reached your ears with an incredibly dangerous tone and you wished nothing more than for her to back up her threats with her actions.

”Hm.” No hesitation whatsoever.

You repeated the same action again with much more force which Mizu semi managed to dodge while you backed away right before she could get back to you, your singsong laughter resonating all over the place once again, completely forgetting you were still in a public space.

"Well, I didn't know getting courted by women was a thing now...Is there something you aren't telling me or am I the one missing out?"

Coming back at her question, you wished for it in silence, watching her expression shift to an unsure one before regaining composure.

“Tsk...you know very well this isn't what I meant” Mizu said shaking her head at herself, her voice a mix of amusement and sheepish disbelief.

She wiped her face, still smirking, but your eyes sparkled with challenge.

You could only return her almost self assured expression.

It wasn't? 

Really?

"Then what is it that you meant?"

You were Y/N after all.

(me x yn when lowkey???)

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Not everyone could be fooled as easily by your antics as you liked to think.

But then again she wasn't just 'everyone'. Or anyone.

"What was the last thing I said to you?" You tried to justify yourself but she wouldn't let you.

"Master I-" You were trapped, quick and short answers without much space for arguments of your own, raspy counterattacks and that infatuating smell of her kizami. 

You’d force yourself to speak, you couldn’t let her suffocate you like this. Even if you knew better, you’d still try. 

It wasn’t smart but it was also something close to a once in a lifetime opportunity, to speak to your mentor again and to die once more.

After all it was better to speak than to run away and die. Even if buried alive.

Right?

She'd eat you while you were still breathing, chewing your puny little self up and your hidden faults before spitting you out to leave you bare and you knew it.

She wasn’t just anyone, she wasn’t just everyone.

Even if your main focus was Mizu and helping her a bit with the whole revenge mission, she primarily served as an excuse to drag yourself here in an attempt...

You wanted to fix things before your eventual demise and as if your situation wasn't already at it's worse...(it wasn't), Ringo had accidentally found out about your illness one fateful morning when Mizu was still tight asleep.

There was no need to deny it. You were getting sloppy and you didn't like it.

You had been executing your usual meditating and exercising routine when out of the blue your complexion turned even more lifeless, transparent and you felt your lungs tighten again.

The exact thing you claimed to handle so well and had proved yourself quite formidable to have hidden for so long, going unnoticed.

You suddenly broke down to your knees, coughing a hefty amount of blood which ended up tainting your white undergarment and flooding your hand with the ruby like liquid.

Ringo had been strolling through the crystalline woods that day, searching for mushrooms or berries like he usually did and with luck (or not) came back to you at absolute random, humming a tune which quite literally felt like a stab wound the moment he saw you.

You looked like you could hardly breathe, fighting an already lost battle and the man thought he’d felt his heart fall to the soles of his feet dropping his fruitful bounty at the nauseating sight.

You tried telling him that this happened from time to time, nose bleedings, coughing up blood, it was all because of the levels of stress, that you could handle it.

It was funny because you were the one that tried to change his mind on joining Mizu on her quest and there you were, your respiratory system overstimulated by everything little thing.

“Not a single word of this goes to Mizu.”

You didn’t even have to threaten him that seriously.

At least for now you had made him swear to you to keep it between him and the gods, threatening you’d make him eat loads and loads of eggplants if even a single syllable of this reached the ears of your blue friend.

You still couldn’t grasp how one could be so absolutely scared of a vegetable but it served you well.

Ever since, Ringo always made sure to stop by markets or pharmacies whenever you’d pass by a city or hamlets in hopes to find anything that could soothe your nerves even throughout this tumultuous journey.

You said it were your nerves but that was merely a theory...and you didn’t even try to believe it.

You had always had mixed feelings about it but the apprentice insisted he was your guardian Angel now the same way you always defended him and made him feel seen and protected despite the short amount of time you had known each other.

You were surprised how well he had been able to keep his lips sealed and allowed yourself to relax a bit more whenever you’d leave him with your cunning friend.

In other words, you had things to do before it was too late and being able to sort things out with your master was one of those.

It had to be done or else you’d be turning in your grave for the rest of eternity.

Well, that and unbeknownst to everyone here she genuinely craved to see you as well, despite her harsh words and unwavering stubbornness.

To think that she was the one that had raised you, before you had to keep raising yourself…

You still longed for her, the ache in your chest growing deeper with each passing day, week, month, year...

In the quiet moments, your mind would drift, consumed by the impossible hope that Yunjing might somehow take you back—

To at least acknowledge you as the apprentice, the daughter you once were to her, before you chose that thing over her-

Carving such a great wound in her, she believed it would never heal.

It took you a few agonizingly long seconds to make up your mind, but when you did, you decided you didn’t care who was watching.

Whether it was Mizu’s cold glare, slicing through your fragile composure behind her glasses, or Ringo’s eyes painted wide with concern, this was your last chance, and nothing else mattered truly anymore.

You were at everyone's mercy, some might even say that you were pitiful, what were you even doing?

This was unlike you and it definitely did put your friends in an awkward position, Mizu soundlessly watching the scene unfold in front of her with Yunjing’s infinitely patient form digging into doorway.

At this specific moment, Mizu’s fixing gaze was driving you insane one could only imagine what everyone was thinking.

“…” Ringo and Mizu…

They could both sense the guilt that now plagued your conscience, reluctantly reclaiming a truth you had long buried away with a myriad of complex emotions, even if the process was painful and arduous.

You were small now, and anxious and tired and you were a mess... in every sense of the word.

So what?

They wouldn't dare hold this against you. They didn't even fully understand the situation, nor did they know the extent of your quarrel with the lady.

Despite keeping her unreadable and apathetic like visage on the both of you, Mizu was...surprised to say the least. 

During the last few days she had spent traveling with you, she did notice that whenever Ringo tried to pry a bit more about your master and her whereabouts, what she was like or how you two last interacted, you always seemed more than evasive about the topic and went mute.

She could have never guessed that it was that serious though.

"So when was the last time your master and you have spoken?" 

"You mean in person?" He nodded.

"...About 4 or 5 years ago?"

"..." Mizu was training but it didn't stop her from eavesdropping either way, accidently or not.

It wasn't really eavesdropping because the two of you were literally at a ten meter radius from her, she was concentrated at her task at hand yes, but she really couldn't help but keep an ear open.

"Oh....that's uhh...that's a lot of time." No shit.

"Hm. You think so?" you humored him dryly, binding your tasuki sash back up against your upper arm. 

Of course you knew that it wasn't normal per se but the current circumstances really didn't make things any easier for you, it didn’t give you much room to try.

You valued Yunjing's words and respected her every wish, no matter how absurd or hurtful, you always took her seriously.

And the last time the two of you had spoken she had made herself abundantly clear.

Now you could only hope enough time had past to try and be reasonable again, now that you had grown out of your teenage years and she had (you hoped) properly mourned her husband.

"Oh! I know-"

A nd you prepared yourself for another one of his breathless rambles, automatically tuning it out a bit while you shifted your focus onto the woman that was all blue, who undoubtedly had been immersing herself within her own ruthless fantasies for about an hour now, whirling her weapon around, fueling her footwork, dodging and cutting through frozen trees and leaves taking short breaks only when needed.

You had already trained that morning, for an almost equal amount of time yet less intensively due to Ringo begging you to let him watch you closer which you quite reluctantly accepted under the conditions that he stayed put and quiet.

Either way Mizu didn’t want him near her when she exercised because in her own words, ‘A simple breeze can throw a crane off course.’

Ringo was a typhoon.

You scoffed at her but it was no use arguing with her, something along the lines of how she’d like to avoid a maximum of distractions if possible.

She couldn’t focus with him around, she needed quiet and peace and so did you but you were honestly more open to the idea of taking on the role of someone Ringo would not feel like a total nuisance to most of the time.

You had accompanied him with his shopping in the small village of Miyama to give the samurai her space and much needed tranquility and it seemed like the both of you had just come back in time.

It had been around ten minutes and  after all that slicing and meditating, Mizu’s workout seemed to have finally come to an end for the day.

You weren't crazy.

Ringo’s bouncy voice kept ringing your head with his prying questions ever since you left up until your arrival and Mizu had heard it all, jaw tightening at the thought of your eventual discomfort.

She knew you could speak up for yourself, she knew you probably already told him off and she also knew how forgetful Ringo could be by now.

She was sure enough to have warned him though?

"You ever tried to send her any letters? You're good at calligraphy and your stories are..interesting! I heard older women love reading mukashi banashi-"

"It's not like that"

You flatly spat at him, according him a few seconds of your attention again for him to leave the subject alone which soon enough ringed a bell.

Mizu had mouthed him crucial advice a few days ago just when the three of you had started your journey towards the east of the country for the sake of pursuing your own advice.

It was brief and discreet but right after abandoning Taigen, when she found her apprentice already asking a bit too much about Yunjing, she slid a small whisper into his ear all while making sure you weren't listening:

'For now you should leave the topic of her mentor alone. She doesn’t like it.’ Depending on what aspect he asked you about.

You seemed pretty proud, full of admiration and nostalgia when talking about your younger years with her, but whenever Ringo would ask about any recent interactions, you’d grow serious in deep thought, heavy aura shining through with dry answers.

Right.

It wasn’t very appropriate and Ringo never wanted to purposely put you in any uncomfortable situations.

He was being too invasive with your personal relationships for his own good and after you bit back with that snappy tone of yours, he was quick to catch on but he was a bit late to the party.

Eventually you’d open up on your own.

You didn’t fail to apologize instantaneously but Ringo had long forgiven you, telling it wasn’t right on his end.

Only problem was that now you were borderline scowling, energy levels laying low with the mention of Yunjing and your complications with her…

And it really didn't help that Mizu noticed it right away despite  her supposedly dedicating her entire focus on her exercising only, and frankly….

She hated herself for it.

What?

It had been a month now, almost a month and a half since you, her charming warrior, assassin, doctor friend had joined her (with her approval might one add) and gods help her…

She couldn't stand it.

It made her feel even more confused and disgusted with herself really..

You frowning, you being sad, you being frustrated, angry, whatever negative emotions you displayed, she always tried her best to ignore, to turn a blind eye one them because at the end of the day, it wasn’t her center.

You weren’t her center, friendship wasn’t her center, your laughter and unnecessary bickering wasn’t her center.

You holding out food to her in offering and her leaning down without much thought to rip a chunk out when Taigen was quick to call her a dog wasn’t her center. 

Why was she like that? 

Seriously. 

It didn’t matter much because the food came from you and with that new haircut of his you were just as fast to compare him to a baboon’s bottom.

It did make her bite her tongue.

She huffed, holding back a cackle yet this wasn’t her center.

Blowing into your ear to make you spasm and annoy you wasn’t her center, using her agility to act like a gymnast and entertain you in silent hopes to see you grin wasn’t her center either.

Her newly found friendship with you wasn’t her center.

She barely knew you anymore. You weren’t her center.

Revenge was and she hated how often she had to remind herself of that within your presence.

Still, that damn scowl really wasn't a good look on you and she was on the verge of grinding her teeth to dust if she didn’t find a way to fix it within the next 5 minutes.

She guessed this was what friendship did to a person and she hated it.

You weren’t insane.

Stealing a few glances her way every now and then and you could have sworn that even if minimal, she'd reciprocate them here and there, always careful of course.

She didn't want to give you any wrong ideas after all.

Right.

Neither did you, of course...?

What was there to misinterpret?

You only looked her way to study her body's abilities and limits, reflexes, the way her feet swayed and how her chest would rise and fall frantically whenever she'd go and breathe a little harder because of her efforts and constant concentration.

Catching her asleep, drinking up her peaceful image from the crease of her eye bags to the small gap between her lips and the softness of her small breaths.

It was a rare occurrence.

Or how she would smirk at herself whenever she'd successfully cut through whatever tree she had designated as her training dummy, her signature raven lock falling to the side of her temple while her brow would raise with pride and cockiness, the accentuation of her cheekbones and nose not going unnoticed by you.

It was rare to see her wear anything close to a smile on her face so you made sure to take a mental picture before she could go back to her typical frown which you gave up scolding her for.

That was practically her default face really.

Mizu and her training made you feel...exclusive?

Exclusively honored, yes!

You meant lucky. Lucky to have found someone to match your intensity in combat. 

You really had to admit that she did occupy most of your undivided attention right now, in a friendly way of course, while Ringo kept going on about what he would have written to his own mother if she was still alive, it pained you to conclude that you had not heard a single word of what he said, your rival friend here being far more interesting to look at and it almost made you feel terrible.

"Miss Y/N?" Not right now Ringo.

You had fought her once and she was good.

She was really good and you knew that if it wasn't for your stupid mistake, you would've given her a harsher time.

So it was only natural for you to take notes for the future duel she promised you.

She didn't exactly promise but she did keep it in the back of her mind, so it was going to happen eventually.

Her movements came to a halt and you were far too intrigued to even see yourself.

Of course you couldn't.

You were staring and staring and before you knew it the navy clothed woman whipped her head into your direction, her orbs strictly piercing your way as if she had been sensing your insisting, dare she say longing eyes on her.

’Oh-‘

You were so taken aback that you didn’t even notice Ringo telling you about how he was leaving to pee and promised you not to get lost but that if he did, he’d probably be chilling with a family of tanukis for a bit but he’d try his best to find his way back to you no matter what.

”What?” He had already left.

Little did you know, she did exactly the same when you weren't watching. 

Studying you, didn't matter if you trained or not actually.

She didn't even know she was doing it and Ringo would always be seconds away from addressing her new found habit. 

The woman never gave him the chance to.

Mizu simply had better chances at not getting caught and her reasoning was sort of the same as yours.

She had to study you if she wanted to win your next battle, even if it was only in second position of her worries.

You were still quite the unusually interesting individual and she somehow couldn't come to terms with it. 

How could she?

It was sisterly affection, she was sure of it. (i cried writing this💀 useless sapphics-)

The way you'd keep rolling your eyes at her, backing it up with confident yet sheepish snicker, whenever she'd deliver a sarcastic remark at your own sassy antics, pretending to hate it.

More often than not holding eye contact with her, or whenever you'd talk about martial arts and you'd exchange combat skills and tactics, executing your deadly techniques on her with upmost gentleness, knowing you would never do anything to actually hurt her.

And she did the same.

You could handle each other, that was the point.

Or when you'd insist on teaching her more advanced calligraphy whenever you weren't training, eating, sleeping or on the road in general, speaking to her ever so understandingly and guiding her brush with her having a hard time to ignore the burning feeling in her ear...

Or when night would fall and you'd help her change her bandages, always respecting her boundaries such as her bandaged chest and the sight of her open hair.

She didn’t know how to react to it, second thoughts always invading her mind whenever she’d enjoy your company a little too much.

Second thoughts about this friendship of yours.

Seriously, you were a problem and she had to thank the tint on her glasses for covering her fleeting gaze at all times or else she would've gone insane with the amount of times she'd catch herself (and the amount of time she wouldn’t) searching for your eyes, your company, your proximity.

It made no sense.

You were a woman and here she was acting like some moody awkward teenage boy, confused by your person.

What was happening? Why was it happening?

Sisterly affection it was.

But she'd digress.

She caught you, stretching a bit by reaching her hands to her feet in the negative temperatures, momentarily looking up towards you, she knew that if you’d decide to turn you’d catch her, and this time she didn't have her glasses.

She stopped but then it didn't even take her a minute and there she went again, staring at you from the corner of her eye, like a sphinx ...four, five, six seven-

Bingo! Oh no..

You lost! You turned too soon and luckily for her, it made you seem like the creep in this situation.

Mind you, she lost no time.

"What is it?" Mizu broke your trance swiftly and you almost stumbled upon your words trying to act unbothered by the fact that you had quite literally just been caught gawking at your friend while still looking bothered because of Ringo’s choice of topic.

What the hell were you thinking again?

Right, Ringo went to take a piss, you were a bit pissed and so it was only the two of you, once again.

Either way you weren't gawking, you were taking mental notes..!

You shrugged your shoulders fast. A bit too fast actually.

"I don't know, I'm asking you.." You singsonged at her, quickly thinking of another one of your jokey remarks before she'd nail you alive. 

She’d definitely nail you alive. Mizu only raised her brows, chuckling for a second as she shook her head.

"You think I don’t see it but you keep staring at me..And I asked you first." Oh really?

You mentally ran laps and cursed at yourself again.

What a time to irritate her a bit.

Your favorite game and pass time after all.

You shifted on the floor, giving her a confused air and view of your face but she knew better by now.

Whatever was about to leave your lips would put her in an awkward position, you were always so quick.

And she was right.

"Oh...You've got it all wrong Mizu...I'm not staring at you" Was your tone ever not dripping with confidence and...everything else?

The woman only tsked at you, sheathing her blade briefly before making her way towards your sitting form, suddenly arming herself with an unreadable expression on her features.

So this is how you wanted to do things?

"I was simply..." You started, an awkward beam on your lips while you tried your best not to laugh already.

"You were simply?..." She mimicked in her rough tone, inky brow cocking at you while searching your eyes for any indicators of another one of your infuriating answers, her voice a bit lighter than usual, ever so softening whenever she spoke to you.

It was like a reflex at this point.

"The posture in your forms was off all along and I’ve only been back for 10 minutes now" You lied straight through your teeth as you scrunched your nose in order to avoid snickering too fast.

This was a friendly insult.

The word ‘insult’ was an overstatement.

It was hard not to keep your eyes on her when she was now towering over you with her lanky frame and signature frown combined with a small pout as you were struggling to read her next move.

She was already close and  you were heating the fuck up.

You felt her shift towards you with the same puzzled expression on her face as she slowly but steadily started lowering her face to meet yours, almost closing the gap and you'd be lying if you said that despite the numbing temperatures, you didn't feel anything rise between the two of you.

She had bad posture, it was a fact and she knew that but on that day she was in an unusually good mood which made her entertain you a bit more actively.

Not only that but it did in no way make her forms look any less better, perfection honestly.

So?

You had to keep yourself grounded and shot her a defying glare, the one Taigen failed to resist, the one that usually left your blue eyed friend so silent.

"Hm. Is that so?" she muttered barely audible and you almost stuttered...again.

So this was how she was going to be?

"Yeah..." You felt her large hand sneak its way up your arm but didn't react to it because she was commanding your attention with her eyes, indifferently removing some of the tiny loose strands hovering your face.

What was even happening right now?

You two were friends, she was allowed to do that.

Of course only she could do that.

She was watching you and she wanted your eyes on her, it was undeniable.

It was unnecessary.

It was stupid.

"Yeah?..." You felt her warm breath fan against your cheek and you almost wanted to die from the heat rushing to your ears.

Gods be damned what was wrong with her? 

What was wrong with you?

"Oh, absolutely.” You reciprocated courageously. It was final.

What was wrong with the both of you?

”…” Damn her.

“I mean...How could I not watch?" You shook your head dramatically as you bit your lower lip, the ends of your mouth twitching in anticipation.

She’d eat you alive if she could.

"So you're not denying it anymore?" Fuck her.

"Well yes because it was just that bad." You quickly saved yourself with a short breath leaning back a tad while Ringo’s bell alerted you that he’d be back any minute now.

That guy could probably only wonder if he was interrupting you two in the middle of ‘something’.

Wait- You two were women…How would that work again?

"Like reaaal bad posture." Her fingers tracing closer and closer to your neck, your body warmth radiating onto her, gods this was pathetic and you were itching for her to see through her actions this time.

"Mhm." Her voice was barely above a whisper, dropping an octave lower and if it wasn't for you already being seated, you would have too, that woman just couldn't keep her hands to herself…

Of course. 

You were already halfway there, what was the point  of backing out now?

”I see.” 

That’s it, you were done for. Her hand was caressing the side of your nape with the back of her fingers, you almost couldn’t feel it until-

"You know, you should try andAH-"

Your tone emphasized and shrieked, breaking the glass ceiling.

And before you could add more onto the plate and egg her on any further, you were met with a squatting Mizu, feeling your train of thought being interrupted by the shuddering feeling of her long and frosty fingers finding their way onto your exposed collarbone, proudly pinching into the crook of your neck just enough to shock you but nowhere hard enough to actually hurt you.

But they were seriously so FUCKING COLD what the-

And she kept going.

"Is that all? No, don’t hold back, princess...Anything else you want to add?" HOW DARE SHE?

Oh and how this shitty nickname rolled off of her tongue, this woman, of course she had you right where she wanted.

Just this once.

"OW! NO NO NO NOSTOP AH-  MIZU PLEASE AHA-" How did she even-?

It was a mix of pinching, squeezing and caressing all over your neck with her frozen digits which didn't really matter because in the end it was her and she had you squealing all over in no time, holding back a laugh or two.

"And just where exactly do you think you're going?" It made your heart jump and Mizu cackle for just an instant.

You couldn't run, you were at her mercy even in such an unserious argument and she'd take advantage of it and at the same time it had made your frown disappear.

That was all that she wanted.

She didn’t catch herself thinking but to her, you wore a smile better, taunting her, you could practically hear the malicious grin spread on her face while you couldn't help but squirm for your life.

You could've undone yourself from her grip easily. But at this very moment, you just didn't want to. (sisterly affection MY ASS-)

"OW OW OW OW OW- MIZU! MIZU I'M SORRY I WAS JOKING, I WAS JOKING  SERIOUSLY, PLEASE GET THEM OFF!!" You cried out laughing, stomach fluttering with bubbles and butterflies as you couldn't help but feel like a teenage girl being bullied by her boyfriend.

Ew.

To cheer you up when you were down…to make sure you weren’t doing too bad when confronted with unsettling things, to be gentle with you whenever she could, it wasn’t her center.

She later justified her actions by saying that you had an insect clasping onto your neck. So she tried to remove it and you would’ve been a fool to ignore her ironic tone when she said so.

That’s what friends are for, no? 

"MIZU STOP I’M GONNA PEE!-”

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It was safe to presume that the woman thought you had died.

That night, that argument, the shouts, the rain, the deception, the slap that left a trail of crimson, like a bridge connecting your stinging nostril and upper lip down to your chin, like a zipping thunderbolt.

Well, there were a lot of thunders that night, you just realized.

It was the first time she had laid a hand on you, achieving the unthinkable. You pushed her to her limits.

You two weren’t strangers, besides Asano, no one knew you better than her. You regretted it but it also made you glad that it was her after all.

1 825 days, 43 826 hours, 261 weeks, However one would like to count it.

You longed for her, the sight of her dark hair confined within strict hairstyles and still very faint strands of grey, the sound of her even throaty voice snickering and advising you, the feeling of her numbing hands on your forehead when you’d feel down at times, the bearable smell of her pipe and it’s contents…

The two alternately colored planets residing within her eyes. Like chestnuts and greens.

And they had missed the sight of you too, empty of any compassion.

She had flicked your forehead, Mizu’s pupils dilating directly just for a bit, lip separating in a small ‘o’  as she realized who this woman was. 

Somewhere in the deepest parts of her mind, realized who this woman truly was.

Whose sword she had forged all these years ago, the you now wore on your hip, the one Master Eiji refused to refine any further despite her complaints and his rectifications, because of the nature of her spirit.

She didn't think she’d ever get to meet her ‘training partner’ ever again, especially not under the current circumstances.

It was the middle of the night and Yunjing’s stance was relaxed but firm and her left arm was circling her waist, the right one supporting her infamous pipe, brown tinted glasses scanning over your friends briefly before returning to you.

As if they had tried to unmask each other, but not right now.

There was no need. 

She had all the time in the world for such games later. Now it was all about you and what you had to say to her.

Now or never truly.

It clicked and you couldn’t take Yunjing’s silence anymore.

There was hesitance and discomfort at first, sweaty pearls slipping down your temples not going unnoticed by your friends and your mentor before it happened.

‘Bam’ . Resonance.

It took you a few agonizingly long seconds to make up your mind, but when you did, you decided you didn’t care who was watching. Whether it was Mizu’s seemingly cold glare, slicing through your fragile composure behind her glasses, or Ringo’s eyes stretched wide with concern, this was your last chance, and nothing else mattered truly anymore.

You were at everyone's mercy, some might even say that you were pitiful, what were you even doing?

So what? 

They wouldn't dare hold this against you. They didn't even fully understand the situation, or the extent of your quarrel with the lady who was clearly expecting somme sort of response from you.

What an awkward situation for any bystander, let’s just get this over with.

They could both sense the guilt that now plagued your conscience, reluctantly reclaiming a truth you had long buried away with a myriad of complex emotions, even if the process was painful and arduous.

You were a mess, you sat there trembling, strands of hair sticking to the side of your face, hands fiddling with the tissue of your hakama and it wasn’t pleasant.

A mess in every sense of the word.

Ringo’s eyes blinked hastily and nervously while navy clothed woman kept her silence.

Right now it wasn’t their place to intervene, sort of like a personal challenge of yours.

You got this.

A loud thud resounded throughout the wooden staircase, the brief pain slowly climbing your kneecaps as you uncomfortably knelt in front of her.

All of this was temporary, all of this would pass when all would have elapsed.

And she kept standing, statuesque as ever, daring to speak first, you had a heavy heart, one slip up.

She could tell.

Not your mentor but your mother.

Not the Red Soldier from the Mountains but Tan Yunjing.

Not Tan Yunjing but ‘Mama.’

You were kneeling like a beggar, like a follower, distraught as ever, as Y/N, not the Damsel of Devastation but in fact like the grown woman that you were, crying like no other little girl should, throwing your dignity aside until your head lowered near enough to kiss the ground. 

Your hands reached for her kimono, gripping it tightly, making Ringo share a worried look with his stone faced master.

Oh you had a lot of explaining to do.

Whenever there is a meeting, a parting shall always follow.

But that parting does not need to last forever.

At first, your slightly opened mouth made no sound but you pushed yourself, a wave of something delicate washing over you-

"Please…” Your voice was so insecure, it was…unfamiliar to anything anyone has ever heard before but Yunjing didn’t seem to care.

Whether a parting be forever or merely a short while…in your case it was entirely up to you.

She had tried but you had rejected her.

“What was the last thing I said to you?” crickets sang throughout the darkness of the night, a small source of light illuminating your face from within her house, memories swirling up to the surface of your brain again.

"Foolish girl, you are no apprentice of mine. Get out of my house Y/N, I want you out by morning."

Where were you?

“Master I-” Water threatened to spill and the only thing protecting you was your back, faced towards the people you cared about the most.

Seeing you like this, Mizu decided to keep her indifference for her own good. It wasn’t her place to speak. It wasn’t her place to speak, you could handle yourself…she kept on repeating to herself.

This wasn’t her center.

“Don’t make me deny you twice.” Your master wouldn’t budge.

“Mama…” the endearing title, the one you used whenever you felt at peace with her, whenever her presence made your heart feel content, the one that reminded her of who you truly were. 

No, the one you truly still are.

Oh you were desperate, pleading, rummaging through your brain, you couldn’t even think straight.

It didn’t matter anymore how many times you had played this scene out in your head in advance, right now you were bare, you were helpless and your friends were being called to hold their breaths and let you handle this on your own.

But at least you didn’t recite, you spoke from the heart, that much Ringo and his master knew.

Of course Yunjing did as well. It was complicated.

Right now, you weren’t doing this for Mizu, or Ringo but you were indeed doing this for yourself.

How were you supposed to let her know?

This place had always been a haven of your own serenity until you spiraled and you didn’t want to hear a thing after your adoptive father had been killed, Yunjing’s husband, Asano.

A good man, really.

Something within you died at that time and you tried to find it again within that thing, it wasn’t your fault.

That thing really did leave a hollow place inside of you. 

You had to admit it and until this day, she still blamed herself and how poorly she handled it all.

But you couldn’t understand-

Money could never replace one’s presence but at least you tried to make up for your errors.

After you left, you never stopped sending her money, lots and lots of it. 

You wanted to clear yourself and after you disappeared, you felt like you owed it to her, this was the least you could do.

Hell, with all the jobs you had taken on she could’ve bought herself an estate, you knew that she knew.

And it still wasn’t enough.

“Mother, I have given you my life and rightfully so-” You gritted through your teeth, hands squeezing the fabric even tighter it almost looked as if you were about to grip the flesh of your madams thighs through it.

“With all due respect…After Asano left us,  who helped you pay for the rice in your bowl, the silk on your back, the kizami in that damn pipe of yours?” you grimaced. 

You supported her from afar, clearing yourself from any monetary debts.

Ringo and Mizu thought they had misheard you.

It wasn’t your place and at the time Yunjing  had told you that there was no need, but you had hurt her in unfashionable ways.

You were a failed investment.

You had found a way to pay all these years of hard labor back to her, at least financially. The entire sum of money she had spent on you from the very moment she had laid her eyes on you to the day you decided to leave in the heat of an argument.

You could've sworn that it wouldn’t have taken her anything more to throw you onto the streets with that attitude of yours.

It was bloody money nonetheless since you refused to take in any money for your healing jobs.

It was ‘dirty money’ but it felt good knowing that you helped her somehow.

She didn’t need it but that didn’t matter.

The guilt never stopped eating at you.

You paid it all back during your years of absence as a silent apology and of course, it still wasn’t enough.

“WHO?” You barked, silent tears rolling down your cheeks and chin. She simply didn’t want to understand the choices you had made, the ones she so desperately tried to protect you from.

She could’ve done more, knowing who she was. The woman took another deliberately long drag of her pipe, shifting her weight onto the other leg as your poor condition reflected itself within her glasses.

You were directly looking at her and that for the first time in this whole conversation. Your eyes were soaked.

Mizu’s jaw tightened. This wasn’t her center.

“Yes, that is true,” Yunjing exhaled, pausing briefly, drinking both of your friends' expressions once more.

It was clear to her that you hadn’t spoken a word of this to them. She cocked her brow and shrugged, the action making her chest rise dramatically.

“Only to thank me with your impudence, leaving me to deal with your arrogance and that foul temper of yours” she hissed through her teeth, followed with a dark chuckle, venom spilling from her lips to which Ringo decided that he had to say something.

This wasn’t fair, it made no sense.

“You wouldn’t dare-” You were 17 at the time, she had no idea what you had gone through afterwards and you didn’t know any better.

You were foolish, yes. You still felt ashamed and guilty, you truly weren’t proud about it.

It was your biggest shame if there was any about you.

But she wouldn’t dare.

“Don’t exaggerate now!...Tsk, what was his name again?” No, she wouldn’t dare, dashing up your feet your puppy like stare changed into something much harsher.

If anyone wanted to hurt you, this was the last place they should reach to achieve that.

After a short sigh, she gasped lightly, “You chose that no good joke of a man, sneaking through your window at all hours of the night-” At the mention of a man, Mizu unconsciously bid her tongue. She had no idea. 

She actually thought you were joking back in the bath house, but then again, what else were she to expect?

After all, it was what made the most sense in society's eyes-

Right? You were different.

Yunjing didn’t need to continue, the unshakable disgust in your face said it all. 

‘Please don’t.’

Yunjing chose to finish her sentence either way, the topic you had meticulosly avoided so much, and she just ripped the band aid off.

“Not like an apprentice of mine but…”

Not like there was ever one to begin with.

“Like a-” A man's voice raised itself. 

"StOp" Yunjing blinked, unfazed.

This was unacceptable, you were trying to be the bigger person right now, to right your wrongs and all this woman had to do was to constantly cut you off and not take any of your words seriously.

It made the two planets within your master's eyes glimmer.

Who would’ve known? 

You had good taste in friends after all, she’d guess.

It wasn’t his place but he couldn’t watch this any longer, “Ringo-” the sapphire eyed woman barely had any time to react, to get a hold of his arm, before he stepped forward, adding onto the loudness of the previous sound, smoke soon enough seeping through Yunjing’s teeth, a joyful jet shocked combination guarding her face.

The man didn’t let her finish. Whatever dirty title she was going to give you, he wouldn’t let her.

This wasn’t what you deserved.

“YOu CAn’t sAY Things LIke that.” He forced himself to speak just above a whisper, knowing how loud his voice could be.

It was dead in the night after all and he had no idea if your mother had any other people sleeping inside her house. 

You couldn’t believe your ears. What was he thinking?

“Ringo this isn’t your-” He didn’t care about any further consequences, and at this exact moment, he strictly cared about you.

“LISten.” And she listened, surprisingly enough to which Mizu’s eyes only bulged, meeting yours for a second.

Your mother had let a man raise his voice at her, and didn't flinch?

Was he in his right mind? This didn’t have anything to do with her or him and yet he still pushed himself to support you in this trial of sorts.

“I’M rInGo and I’m Am one oF  yoUR DauGhterS FriEnds. I hAveN’t knOwn Y/N foR too Long-”  Your bald friend started, clearing his throat thoroughly.

“I’m entitled to do as I choose.” Her words seemed final. “ Young man, you’re standing on my property as we speak.” 

This wasn’t how you expected things to go. In a moment of despair you let go of Yunjing but Ringo had no plans of stopping now.

“It’s alright, we’ll leave at this very moment”

As if the situation wasn’t already tricky enough, you heard Mizu declare that she’d be leaving, already turning to get her horse. 

What a waste of her time. But her apprentice stopped her, he just needed a minute of Yunjing's precious time.

He persisted and she…waited. Mizu and her thick head, she actually waited just a bit more for you.

“I don’t agree with what you’re doing right now. I don’t know what she possibly could have done to anger you like this but she’s trying her best to make up for it. Truly. She’s here now apologizing in every way she possibly can and you, you’re just walking all over her…”

From what he gathered, you paid her literal money for years, knelt in front of of her trying to prove how serious you were about regretting your actions and this lady still wanted to put on a tough fight.

It made no sense for her to battle her kid.

He understood that she wasn’t someone that could be easily swayed but this wasn’t right, you were visibly at your breaking point.

And she didn’t care?

“What kind of mother does that to her child?” He was brave and Mizu glared daggers at her apprentice in disbelief, her gaze morphing into a troubled one. 

You didn’t do any different.

For the first time that night, Yunjing’s lips pressed into a straight line, smoke escaping her nostrils now.

She was actually listening and let your friend speak, never cutting him short.

“I don’t have a mother anymore but if I were given the chance see her or to speak to her again I’d be a fool not take the chance so immediately. And Y/N shares that sentiment” Despite your reluctancy to do so, he knew you did.

When Ringo started talking about his mother, you could sense Mizu’s attitude shift drastically, even more quiet than before and less prone to objecting to whatever the man had to say.

It made her feel…uncomfortable and it was as if all the nerves in your body alerted you of her...regret.

You turned to look at her “I can’t even imagine what I would do if my own mother rejected me in my worst times of need.” He was hinting at your unstable health, you needed solace even just for a short period of time, he was sure it could help.

This was the only home you had left.

You’d forever be grateful to Yunjing, she knew that.

Ringo’s mention of his deceased mother had Mizu’s irises shining a melancholic grey behind her orange lenses and of course her change of mood radiated off onto you almost instantly.

While Ringo was doing gods work, you subtly slid your pinky towards her index without saying a thing, keeping a straight face, interlocking them underneath her coat for just about ten seconds.

It felt secretive and delicate but honest. Just like when you touched her hand before your encounter with Heiji Shindo.

She didn’t say anything as you didn’t let her see your face during that action, it would not have been a pleasant view and either way you didn’t want her to see you like this, eyes puffy and dried tears of buildup anger and unrequited shame, your message came through nonetheless.

I’m sorry about your mother…and I’m sorry for dragging you into this mess. I’m a bad friend, I know.

Before she could reciprocate anything you let go.

You were hoping to make things easier for Mizu in her quest today and instead, you had put her in this strange position which had nothing to do with her.

To say you felt horrible was an understatement. You purposefully hid things from her because they were just too painful to talk about, you knew she’d understand eventually.

Now your mother was fuming. 

Literally.

Your chef friend felt like this had to be cleared up once and for all, even if he didn’t know all the details.

You could talk to her in private but he couldn’t stand seeing you this hurt anymore.

At least for tonight.

“Madam, she is your daughter. She’s done bad things but you should still try and treat her as such.”

Silence, complete utter silence. The kizami in her pipe had burned itself up down to the last weed and right now her main point of focus seemed disoriented.

Sort of like you, Ringo noted that the both of you were truly unpredictable. Like mother like daughter. A tragedy almost.

You had nothing else to add, your round friend had stolen all of your words by now and all of you waited for Yunjing’s reaction, a movement, words, anything really.

You were her daughter and Ringo was determined to make Yunjing forgive whatever faults you had committed, Mizu deciding to opt for silence on her end once more  while thinking that maybe she really did want to spent more time looking for information on her own rather than like this.

But she couldn't help but remember the ‘joke of a man’ your master had been talking about in such a nasty tone…

The words wouldn’t stop haunting her mind…

And she knew that she wouldn’t really have any business asking you about it but she still couldn’t help but wonder…

You had someone courting you once?

A man?

Even the thought- with your character and your rather...questionable ways, you and a man courting, marrying or anything of the sort-

A man could never handle you, disrespectfully.

'...'

It didn’t take long for Ringo to apologize with you, “Please accept my apologies for intruding alongside hers, I mean it. She means it.” You were mute.

The path of death and destruction you shared with Mizu really wasn’t his call and yet here he was defending with all the volition in his heart.

You didn’t even know if she’d let you in after the stunt you just pulled but that didn’t stop the apprentice at all and he was serious about it.

He kept going.

“I can help around your house, I can cook, I make the best soba in the world, I’ll help you clean anything you need, I can sew, I’m big and I’m strong and I can carry things for you but please don’t be mad at Y/N like this anymore.” Another long silence followed.

Hell at even Mizu lowered her head at your mother, she didn’t need to but she still did.

“My sincerest apologies once again, Lady Yunjing.” She simply uttered and it made ask yourself why the hell these two were going through with this. 

Right now you felt as if this wasn’t completely about revenge anymore.

What were they even apologizing for?

They didn’t need to know the details, they just did it. You felt like your legs were about to give out but of course, Mizu noticed before she could catch herself doing so. 

What mattered right now was you and your unstable self, the dark haired woman didn’t like seeing you like this at all, it made her feel anxious which she didn’t like either.

Seeing you unwell made her ache and she couldn’t stand it. 

And right now it didn’t matter.

You almost wanted to gasp when you felt her light hand on your shoulder, like a grounding stone. It was light and the action was short lived but it spoke very loudly for itself. 

Hang in there. She didn’t question herself for caring about you this time either.

She just did.

And suddenly, there was a crack. Not an audible one but there was a crack.

A crack in that witty mask of hers, that unattainable persona Yunjing executed so well.

The shield she had developed in times you weren’t even born, unbreakable but at this specific moment in time, it cracked open just a bit.

You were sure she’d laugh at him, right into his face but to everyone’s surprise, she simply sucked her teeth lightly, something akin to a fox’s grin.

And seconds later her beam softened again. She was genuinely smiling, pleased with…something?

Her hands fell her sides and with no warning, she stepped to the side. She was eyeing your blue friend who failed to speak this entire time.  

And yet she knew, she had a feeling Mizu needed to talk to her. 

It really came out of the blue.

Letting out a small huff the woman’s voice commanded.

“Why if it isn’t Mizu, I’m assuming you’re the one looking for a nice long heart to heart chat with me?” She disregarded your state and no one could have prepared you  for her drastic change of heart. Just what was she thinking this time?

Uhm...

The air was thick with filtered confusion on your end and something close to shocking embarrassment on Mizu’s. 

‘How the hell…’ You bit the inside of your cheek, but before you could ponder any further the woman’s responded politely, the faint disbelief in her voice making you frown.

“There’s nothing more I’d like than that…but right now might not be the right-“ Your blue friend being interrupted and she could only sigh.

“You can raise your head at once, young man.” Yunjing’s wish was simple “It’s late now”

Cutting Mizu’s already short answer even shorter, the older woman didn’t add much onto what had just happened, she minutely wore a neutral expression now, explaining that there were two free rooms, Mizu and Ringo being men should have no trouble sharing one and you could sleep in your old one.

'This makes no sense'...to you, none of this made any sense. Mizu had just met the lady, how did your mother know her name?

Whatever spell Ringo had laced into his words, you would have to thank him later in the morning.

”The three of you must be exhausted. Get washed up quickly and then go to bed. Tomorrow is another day…”

She was avoiding your gaze now and it was clear that the large man's words made her...well, you'd pick up on this tomorrow.

Like she said, it was late and right now none of you had the energy to continue this conversation, if you could even call it that.

”We’ll be able to talk and discuss further all that you want. Or that you need to know.”

The three of you muttered your most sincere thanks and without much more waiting, you stepped through the door, passing by the owner of the house and slipping off your shoes before entering the ancient place of your serenity, still processing everything that had just happened.

The only source of light was a small oil lamp sitting in the hallway of the entrance and therefore you almost couldn’t see a thing. 

Good for you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Something that the strange ronin had no way of knowing, too busy bedding and poisoning other women, was that the amanranthine woman he had come to misuse and fool over the course of the years....well...while on her quest to find him again, she had no other choice but to grow to mistrust, reject and even run away from a multitude of men."

You mused, snow crunching underneath  your feet as you descended your way downwards to the fishermen's town to go and get the ingredients for yours and Mizu's medicine. 

"And yet she never lost hope in her one and only's loyalty, the one she was absolutely spellbound with and practically ready to sacrifice herself for."

It was the continuation of an odd story but a good one and even if your freshly made acquaintance didn't understand all of it's undertones and metaphors, it didn't matter, he only wanted to hear you talk more. 

'She has a gift for story telling', was what he kept thinking to himself and your friends apprentice secretly wondered if by any chance your master might have told you these stories when you were younger, given how vividly and carefully you recounted them with no fear of saying anything wrong, still keeping a certain air of wisdom.

As if you had already lived through countless lives, these stories felt like a mirror of sorts. You had that effect on him and he barely even knew you.

That was to say that Ringo had failed to contain his curiosity about what turn the tale might have taken, he just couldn't help but urge you to continue your narrative (even after promising that he would stop talking given how early it was in the morning) and you on the other hand secretly could not have been happier than to indulge him.

It was strange, but it felt innocent, fluffy and light, Mizu's apprentice and his unconsciously tranquilizing, childlike energy, he wasn't heavy on you at all.

Though the young man probably wasn't even aware of it, you took note to tell him later sometime. It was a good trait and from the first time you had set your eyes on him you knew, you could already tell that he was truly kind and did not wish you any harm.

Hell, if he'd ever mess up as Mizu's assistant (as if), you'd be the first person he'd think of turning to. That was his first impression of you and maybe for now, it was for the best.

You honestly wouldn't recommend it though.

Like a warm welcome, you  had merely known him for a day but you couldn't ignore how easy he was to talk to and how naturally you felt at ease with him, he listened with no ulterior motives lingering in the back of his mind, his jumpy voice and constant questions sometimes echoing loudly but never truly bothering your space.

You twinkled.

"Wait- earlier you said that the pretty lady found her husband-" Right, you made it explicitly clear that the pair in the folkloric tale wasn't married, but something Ringo didn't know was that in this story, things were just a bit more complicated than what they seemed. 

Just like real life.

The young man was quick to correct himself, briefly clearing his throat before continuing.

"You said that the pretty lady ended up finding her lover with some other woman, making...uh.. making love to her like he never had never done with her. Now you're saying that he was actually 'poisoning' multiple women while he was away?" The apprentice urged, wanting to make sure he was still following your words correctly.

  You nodded.

He didn't fully understand, muttering his words out in a short breath.

A small glance over your shoulder reflected the image you had just recounted of him in your mind and the round giant made sure to step a bit closer to you, returning your kind expression.

It made you think how you instinctively thought of him like...a younger brother?

An irresistible, annoying younger brother definitely.

You had always been an only child so you had no idea what having siblings felt like, but if you were to be asked about how you perceived Ringo as for now, you would qualify him as...likable enough for you to let him 'bully' you into telling him stories.

You'd guess that that's what older sisters did, pretend to not care about their siblings wishes and needs only to succumb to them immediately later, it took you a few moments before you shortly turned your head again, yet this time you were faced with a seriously interested expression in the man's irises as his brows furrowed lower, still listening intently.

'You have good taste' Was your conclusion towards Mizu's choice of an apprentice, even when she claimed that she really did not want him around her, you were convinced that it was for the better since one didn't need to be a genius to know that she did not take care of herself as well as she should.

He wanted to learn from her and in exchange he'd watch over her well being.

So he seemed something close to a voice of reason just like your own mentor used to be for you.

Now if she chose to listen to him or not was entirely up to her and though it seemed a bit weird you were really happy that she had found a 'caretaker' of sorts.

What you did not fully agree on was him deliberately throwing himself onto a path littered with death and sin.

It wasn't his calling, you thought and on the other side you had to respect his determination and loyalty, and if this was what he desperately wanted for himself, then so be it.

Even if you felt like he didn’t fully understand what he signed himself up for, he must’ve had his reasons.

He was a grown man, he could decide for himself.

Your brows rose at him while you kept up the walk downwards the cliff's road, the fishermen's town slowly but surely making it's appearance on the far right, the half frozen lake reflecting the suns barely noticeable rays of light while the bland sky howled with heavy clouds.

You took it as a sign to get back to the matter at hand.

"The truth was...she hated men. She hated men and wanted to do unspeakable things to them, hurt them in every single way possible. Cast filth upon them, make them a spectacle." Slowing down your pace, your tone was grave, filled with an undermining layer of...pity, sympathy?

Understanding?

It was impossible to ignore.

Ringo couldn't quite shake the feeling of entering an almost secretive like atmosphere, like a confession of sorts.

He wasn't sure he could understand.

"...Oh...Really?" Silence followed.

His tone pitched carefully in contrast to your vaguely serious one, his body leaning more towards you with pinched brows anew, keeping up with your pace while you stared right past him into nothingness, somewhere his eyes couldn’t see, not even sparing him as much as a glance. 

"Why?" His breath materialized itself as a small cloud of smoke in the freezing morning light.

He didn't know you, so of course he was still new on how to deal with you as a person, your sudden changes of topics, your unpredictable sways of mood and reactions to things he’d say...

He knew better than to take it personally, after all, this story of yours did seem to resonate- Well, never mind, he thought that he couldn't really know. He didn't know.

He wasn't sure if he wanted to know and h e could only guess what you were hinting at.

You cut yourself short thinking about how you'd formulate the rest of the tale, what words you could choose.

He wasn't a child but it was...at least to you-

After a few more silent moments interrupted by the crunching of the snow underneath both of your soles, you sucked your teeth, letting out something Ringo believed to be a chuckle before answering without much hesitance.

"Because she's hurting...I guess." You guessed. Like a shotgun, the next question fell upon you immediatly.

"Why?" The apprentice faithfully pushed, feeling he'd irritate you any moment now if he wasn't meticulous with the way he spoke to you.

This time it was your turn to step closer to him, pausing shortly once again. You shot him a very direct and puzzled glare.

He didn’t budge but he did feel thrown…off.

Silence. This was really odd.

Now the chef wasn't too sure about whether he actually wanted to keep prying.

The distant crash of the lake against the shore echoed like a low, constant rumble, sending minuscule shivers through the frozen ground. Each wave hit with a soft, rhythmic thud, a stark contrast to the quiet yet intimidating tension of the moment.

The sound seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere, reverberating across the ice and snow, filling the emptiness with its persistence, until it became the only thing you could hear.

The air was so still, so thick with cold, it took you a while to get back on track, mainly because you listened to your environments noises, still thinking about something distant.

You knew this fable by heart.

Then again, without much questioning, you answered.

"She suffers constantly day and night, without letting up, no matter how much resilience she showed, no matter how much she persevered." 

A short hum acknowledged your response and you could sense Ringo's growing uneasiness. He wanted to know more but he didn't know if it was 'ok'?

"I'm sorry to be a bother but..." Why the hell was he sorry? He felt like apologizing instinctively, instantly.

But this wasn't a real story? It was a thousand year old tale that you merely happened to recount with such intense manner...so why did he-

"Because on her quest to search for her lover, she happened to have had a poisonous thorn forced deeply into the base of her spine..."

‘Yikes’…was the apprentice’s first thought.

A poisonous thorn forced into the base of a woman's spine.....

And this wasn’t even the most graphic part.

It didn’t take long for Ringo's mouth to go dry, realization first fighting against what he had heard, your last sentence reverberating within the crevices of his brain, the weight of your words undoubtably tugging at the strings of his heart.

"Against her own will." You let it sink in.

He would have never guessed. Man…Did all of your stories always take such a dark turn?

The man sighed, still unable to contain his inquisitiveness.

You didn't mind as much as he feared the story’s ending.

"Why...why didn't she ask a friend to remove it for her?" You flashed him a lazy smile, eyes rolling in frustration.

"Don’t you remember? She had always been lonely and therefore she had no friends, except for the ronin of course, he was the only one she still trusted after all that had happened to her." You heard the sound of seagulls at the base of the cliff and it didn't take you two much longer to reach the small beach, the one from yesterday’s events.

Chiaki's corpse was nowhere to be found.

One could argue that no matter how rotten a person was, everyone deserved a proper funeral. 

You let out an innocent scoff.

To each their own.

From there you had a bridge tracing its way directly to the small town just like you remembered it.

And so you went, Ringo never failing to follow your lead close by.

"But believe it or not, if she had known that someone, anyone knew the secret around her thorn and would want to remove it, she'd kill them." You announced with a semi grimacing expression, something between a jumpscare and a full on poker face.

The man only gasped, his dull wrists slapping over his mouth, surprised brows shooting into his hairline and all, he was 100% invested.

"Why?" That’s a good question.

"If one were to remove the thorn, she'd instantly suffer an indescribable amount of wounding pain sourly mixed with salty guilt and vinegary shame. Something that no one could ever imagine, even in their wildest nightmares."

"..."

"She'd rather die on the spot." With each step, the wooden bridge groaned underfoot, the planks old and weathered from years of use. 

Your feet’s rhythm did not falter once by now.

Your friend's apprentice didn't have anything else to add, speechless as he was actually still making sure he was processing everything you said properly.

The ronin had no way of knowing but during his leave, his actual lover had already tasted the pinnacle of atrocity, helplessness, fear and agony when a group of wild beasts held her down, while another one ripped the thorn inside of her...

For nothing in this world she'd want to go through this experience ever again.

a/n: i just love writing them like two ordinary non murderous girls living casually fr thank you for reading, i’ll see you in the next one, take care luv sic! again, if you're enjoying the story so far do let me know by commenting 🤎 theories, criticism or other, i'd love to read/engage with you!

Masterlist I Next Chapter

[kosmicdream]

Hello. After drawing webcomics for 10 years and making about 10,000 pages of comics, here are some things i have learned/observed in that experience..

1) making comics does not get easier.. Not really

Making comics is a tedious and slow process and with so many different facets of the experience to learn - you’ll never run out of stuff to learn or weaknesses to work on. I’m not saying this to discourage but to just give the frank reality that it really takes a lifetime to understand. Be patient with yourself and try to set healthy expectations. 

2) Read your own comics after making them.

I don’t know if this is as important to other people as it is to me, but I do think that sometimes its easy to not re-read your own work and just go from your own memory of it, or maybe you’re tired of looking at it because of all the flaws. I don’t personally get sucked into the “rewrite/remake” cycle that I know is common with comics, as I sort of just accept things as they are, but re-reading my work does help me see where I have come from and where I need to go to next. I personally don’t like to lose sight of that, and I think re-reading helps ground me in the planning process of my work and gives me a better perspective on all aspects.

3) A lot of comic advice should be taken with a grain of salt, because its the person talking to themselves. (including this)

I see a lot of advice that never would have worked for me, or just simply wasn’t something I was ever going to follow. “Dont start with your big epic long stories”! Is a common one. I don’t think that’s bad advice exactly, but how many young artists are going to listen, especially if they’ve never told a story in the first place? Yes, the advice to start small and build yourself up with experience sounds great, I’m sure people do it, but if you’re an artist you’re probably not gonna be that responsible. And for me, when i tried to do this with eggshells, my house burnt down and i kinda gave up comics for a while because i lost a lot of work. 

Writing short stories is still something I struggle with, its just not easy for me. I have gotten better at it but i don’t think that makes me less of a comic artist because I haven’t gotten good at that particular format, or that I jump around on my projects. Is it more impressive to have more completed work under your belt, sure. But I also think that.. Idk.. what is the advice actually saying, because with that one it sort of feels (often times) as a warning that you’re setting yourself up for failure/embarrassment by attempting a comic like that. I don’t know how to tell you this, but comics are gonna be embarrassing no matter what you do and there’s no guarantee you’ll be more successful/not experience failure by avoiding your passions. Something to think about anyway. 

4) Don’t draw every leaf. Unless you really want to.

I’m the kind of comic artist that kind of doesn’t care about the art as much as the whole package of the comic. When i see a very impressively drawn panel/page, with laborious detail that is well drawn and maybe even colored ect.. That usually is kind of, I guess, a turn off for me as part of the reading experience. The thing is, when i encounter that, it usually signals to me that someone has poor planning skills for comics. It says to me that comic is probably not going to see its end or that artist is overworking themselves in an unnecessary way, that ends up concerning me about how they’re doing. Because i know how hard it is to draw comics. When an artist phones things in a bit, or has a limit on how much they work on a page, its a relief for me to see! because I understand they have healthier boundaries and expectations, and the art itself usually is less stiff too. This is all an overgeneralization, but I think with a lot of webcomic artists we are usually drawing a comic for the first time ever, so it makes sense we want to do our best and try as hard as possible - that just usually isn’t the smartest plan to put all the stock in the visual department. This also kinda frustrates me to see because most comics (professional or not) will also (generally) not reel the art in ever or make a more simple style. Generally I see it always trying to outdo itself, which leads to burn out. I personally only work about 1hr on each page i draw, that hasn’t changed in the 10 years I have been drawing comics, but i used to spend hundreds of hours drawing detailed lineart for eggshells and it didn’t even read well and i’d be disappointed with the results, feeling more lost with my goals than ever. PLEASe.. Just draw worse, its usually better looking in the end too. (because you wont have the experience to judge visual clarity until you’ve been drawing comics for a while imo..)

5) Don’t draw ahead, draw those inbetweenies.

“Inbetweenies” are the pages for the “boring” ones. They are also usually the most common KIND of page. Its the pages that are necessary, but “inbetween” the action. The impact moments in a scene, ect. You gotta draw them. They’re always gonna be there. They’re the pages where maybe, the character is walking somewhere, thinking, ect. The after impact from an action.. There’s a million examples, but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean when I say they’re both necessary pages/panels, sometimes so mundane/redundant, but also required for telling the story.. As a comic is a sequence of images. This is why, the previous advice is also important IMO- because if you really want to “draw every leaf” - maybe you should save that energy and effort for those impact moments that you want to impress the reader with.. And not for the inbetweenies, which are the foundational support, but also not the most important moments. If you conserve your energy a bit, the contrast OF that effort will also pop more. I personally find it funny when I put more effort into a page and end up tricking my readers into thinking I got better at drawing, when really i just have been able to draw better and only save it for moments like this instead of always.

Also, when I say don’t draw ahead.. I mean I draw each page at a time before going to the next one. I have no idea if this is an unusual practice or not, and I know a lot of people will draw their chapters/episodes/whatever in sections like sketch/ink/color/ect.. But I personally draw and finish page by page, unless its the thumb/sketch stage. Even then, i don’t go ahead much. I think that you can control flow/pacing better by doing chapters all at once of course, I see that as a benefit. But i also think that makes things very overwhelming and can also result in a lack of flexibility if something isn’t working. No matter HOW much planning you do- comics are always going to have an aspect of IMPROVISATION with the result you get in the end. There are way too many factors in play to be in complete control of all of them and always know the result of the reading experience. SO for me, this technique is easier and has been something that continues to get me to working effectively. Plus, rumiko takahashi said that’s what she does. And i think she has some of the best visual flow/compositions in comics. So that’s what I do.

I could write more personal advice or rules that i follow..but I think those are the ones I find are the most important to me anyway. Of course, comics are a strange medium and not everything that works for me will work for you. That’s all for now.. Bye bye…! 

Oh by the way, my comics are here: feastforaking.com nastyreddogs.com https://kosmic.itch.io/ Support me on patreon! https://www.patreon.com/kosmic

[genericpuff]

So I watched ChattyMia's Lore Olympus video which was great and everyone should watch it. It seems most people who do series reviews of the Lore Olympus don't like the comic for obvious reasons. Then I was reminded by the end that the comic is expecting a TV series which is in development hell. It made me think that Rachel might be better off not having a Lore Olympus TV show. Most praise for the series died awhile ago as the story became an utter mess. If it did get a TV show, people will see the early red flags like the age gap, the treatment of Minthe, trying to excuse cheating, Hades horrible behavior to workers, nymphs being discriminated with no pushback, etc. If some of them read the comic for spoilers they would later see the other big red flags of the series. Excusing slave labor, Persephone threatening the lower class, Hera getting with Echo a 'trash nypmh' as she once called Minthe, Apollo gets community service, the continued mistreatment of Demeter etc. Which I feel will cause everyone to go 'wtf is this series? 50 Shades of Grey mixed with Keeping Up with the Kardashians?'. Then you have to wonder if some of them will do a deep dive and find the stuff about Rachel's tie to Lolita. It would be especially bad if a bigger content creator talked about it. And we already know Rachel doesn't handle criticism the best (i.e. the struggle street tweet, the Minthe cosplay situation or even the merch). So I could only imagine how much worse it would be for her if Lore Olympus got a TV show and more eyes got drawn to it and her. It would no longer be just confided to the web comics fanbase but the much larger TV one. Unless Rachel seriously considered rewriting the TV script (or rekindling it lol) I don't see how a TV adaptation of her show would be good press for her.

Yess I've seen that video, it's great! She did a great job summarizing a lot of the biggest core issues with LO's story and art without getting too lost in the sauce (though god knows the rabbithole of LO's issues runs INCREDIBLY deep in an equally fascinating and "oh god what the fuck did I just read' kind of way), her video editing was very entertaining and her Persephone cosplay was a great touch 😎

That said, regarding the thought of "most people who do series reviews of LO don't like the comic", there is an amount of bias we have to acknowledge there - there's often a lot more to say in the negative rather than the positive. By extension, people who simply enjoy LO and don't participate much in the online discussion surrounding it or the discourse concerning it are less likely to make 2 hour videos analyzing it. So while the popular opinion of LO has shifted more towards a negative point of view, that doesn't mean that fans of the comic don't exist - it's just that most of those fans are blissfully enjoying the comic and can only sum it up as "it's very pretty and the plot is great", whereas many people who didn't enjoy it are more likely to voice their opinions as to why in far more explicit detail (though on the flipside of that, it also goes to show that there's a lot more to analyze in LO's flaws than its strengths - it's ironic that the fans often don't have much to say beyond "it's cute" or "I relate to Persephone" and anything further than that is relegated to pure headcanon pieced together by assumption and best guesses to make up for Rachel's lack of writing).

All that aside though, regarding the TV adaption, at this point it's less a matter of reception and more a matter of relevancy. The perfect time to release or at least show us proof of the LO TV show was years ago, when the comic was at its peak between 2020-2021. The second best time was at last year's NYCC when Rachel was a headlining guest. The fact they still had nothing to show for it at this year's NYCC, with Rachel nowhere to be seen and instead focusing more on the Freaking Romance adaption with Snailords filling the role as their featured guest (an equally if not even more problematic creator), is astounding, but unsurprising.

To me, LO feels like a real life case of "Tortoise and the Hare". Back at the start of it all, in 2017-2018, it was doing what no other comic on the platform was doing, presenting us a retelling of the Hades and Persephone story - which was very popular on Tumblr at the time - through a modern setting and with art that was incredibly unique for the platform. That, paired with WT's aggressive marketing, propelled it far ahead every other comic on the platform, creating a gap so massive that even the comics in second place on the trending tabs still weren't even close to LO's lead in terms of stats and money.

But then it got complacent. Quality of the comic's writing and art dropped, it was becoming increasingly obvious that LO had become no more than a marketing grift akin to the likes of Harry Potter - easily turned into books, t-shirts, socks, coloring books, figures, etc. - and that gave way to an increase of criticism towards it, criticism that had always somewhat existed even as far back as its days on Tumblr, but was now amplified by the existing ongoing proof that LO was never all it was cracked up to be.

Now, at best they shill $200+ figurine pre-orders, but the show is nowhere to be seen and, with the comic now finished and locked behind Daily Pass, its relevancy is dying out. "Rachel Smythe Presents" still has nothing to show for itself, Rachel's IG and Twitter seem to be purely for merch-pushing by the Inklore team, and Rachel has, at best, two new series that she suddenly announced but, in her words, don't even have anything written or planned for them yet beyond the taglines that were thrown together for her socials.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Greek myth retelling industry is in a renaissance. Hades is still a massively popular game, with its sequel now in early access; Epic: The Musical has been making waves on Spotify and TikTok far exceeding that of LO's in terms of audience reach, and even has more to show for itself in the way of official animations than LO ever has; and now Kaos has recently launched its first season after being in production since 2018 - yes, you read that right, it got commissioned around the exact same time LO became an Originals series which suggests the idea for it was already floating around and being pitched prior to LO - and, frankly, has beaten LO at its own game by achieving everything LO set out to do - weaving a Greek epic-style story in a modern setting, balancing romance with prophecies and world-ending stakes. It took a while, but Kaos made it past the finishing line, while LO has been dragging itself behind it, still making empty promises that a TV show is "still in the works" and "coming soon", with not a single thing to show for itself.

LO may have gotten a head start in being the "sleek, modern, sexy Greek myth retelling" by the virtue of being a weekly webtoon, but slow and steady wins the race - the productions that have taken their time cooking in the oven are now coming out as beautiful and delicious as we, the guests at the table, were told would be, while LO is simply the short-term gratification junk food that bombards us with gimmicks but sits like a rock in our stomachs and leaves us unfulfilled and wishing for a better meal.

Those better meals are here now and they were absolutely worth the wait.

[eugenedebs1920]

Let us not forget what this is truly about. Tax cuts for the rich. A tax structure specifically designed to award over 80% of the tax breaks to the top tax bracket, while slightly raising taxes for those making between $60-$80k. Yet hallelujah those with more money than they could ever spend will increase their disproportionate wealth by tens of millions of dollars a year by not contributing to the wellbeing of the American system. As Republicans have so clearly demonstrated, the only people who deserve wealth, are those who already possess it.

There’s some fun math in this article. Math I guess Republicans either believe we’re too stupid, lazy, or distracted to catch. To pass this “budget” they will raise the debt ceiling by $4 trillion. The tax cuts for the rich that trump and his billionaire cabinet so desperately want to renew will cost $4.5 trillion, once again leaving a MASSIVE deficit to pay.

In trumps first term he added nearly $8 TRILLION to the deficit, exponentially more than any other president in American history, and 25% of the OVERALL, meaning all time total, debt accrued.

“Don’t worry Eugene, doge is on it!”

Well, I wouldn’t get too far ahead of ourselves on that.

As of Friday, February 21st, musk and his dougebags found $7.8 billion in waste/fraud. That may sound like a lot, yet in the full scheme of the budget, it isn’t.

There are roughly 365 million American citizens. Trump is touting this notion that with all the “savings” from musk and the dougebags he will give 20% of the findings back to the American taxpayer.

Let’s do some long division. 7.8 billion divided by 365 million comes out to be 21.73. Now take 20% of that and it’s just over $4 per person. Personally I’d take a functional government over $5. Maybe that’s just me though.

The juice ain’t worth the squeeze with this South African billionaire dismantling and infiltrating all corners of our institutions.

Doge is so incompetent that they boasted finding $8 billion dollars in suspected fraud, only to have that redacted due to a calculation error of THREE DECIMAL POINTS!!!

There’s also claims from the foreigner trying to destroy our democracy of hundreds of thousands of social security beneficiaries receiving checks despite being 150 plus years old. As it turns out, if you did a simple google search this is false. The code for the Social Security Administration is tremendously old but efficient. To ensure non duplicate SS numbers plus the cost and chaos it would create to rewrite the code, the current system was decided to be satisfactory seeing its accuracy and functionality.

Let’s recap. To cut taxes for the rich, there will be the largest cut to Medicare and Medicaid since its inception, estimates are at least $800 billion, hopefully nobody’s grandparents need medical care, funding for the most impoverished people on the planet is eliminated, despite it being less than 1% of the budget, the department of education will be defunded or all together dissolved, nutritional assistance to the struggling American will be DRASTICALLY cut, for some reason the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau will be annihilated, grants that fund cancer research and other medical breakthroughs will cease, infrastructure projects will come to a halt leaving our roads and bridges in tatters, and millions of career civil servants tasked with everything from ensuring aviation safety, to securing our nuclear arsenal will find themselves without work.

All this so musk, Trump, Thiel, and the 12 other billionaires in trumps cabinet can avoid contributing their fair share to the country they made their fortunes off of.

Trump recently spouted some dumb sh*t, as he often does, while referencing tariffs saying “we were the richest between 1887 to 1920” which, number one, is false, and two, THATS THE PERIOD KNOWN AS THE GUILDED AGE, AN ERA OF IMMENSE WEALTH DISPARITY THAT LED TO THE GOD DAMN GREAT DEPRESSION!!!!!

So what are Republican principles exactly? It’s certainly not law and order, taking into account their almighty leader’s antics and his administrations disdain for the Constitution and the law generally. It’s definitely not family values when you take into consideration all the sexual predators, the infidelity and sexual misconduct. It’s clearly not democracy and freedom with this administration’s stance on Russia removing us from the allies we have been aligned with since WWII, and siding us with Putin and dictatorships around the globe. And as this upcoming “budget” shows us fiscal responsibility is out of the question.

The values the modern Republican Party holds is that of enriching the wealthy by screwing the middle class. They stand for tyranny and oppression. Corruption is a cornerstone to the Republican ideology. Let’s not forget voter suppression. There’s always their tried and “true” platform of blatant lying, their spreading of misinformation and disinformation, so much so that they openly oppose fact checking. Their aversion to the Constitution. Last but not least, their embrace of discrimination.

It sucks that everyone will have to suffer to hopefully enlighten Republican voters on the fact that they care nothing for the working class, that they have zero shame in their hypocrisy and self enrichment. That they only desire power and will engage in any disgraceful tactics to hold on to it. That they hold no reverence to their constituents or to the oath they swear to the Constitution.

May our nation endure this devastating and corrupt period of its existence.

[theatercatklio]

OC Intro - Klio

(click image for better quality)

"I'll change this world for the better. Doesn't everyone want to live in a fairytale?"

RARITY: ✦✦✦✦✦

⭒♬ Titles/Aliases⭒› Lady of the Theater, High Court Magician, Patron of Heros

⭒𝄞 Path⭒› Emanator of Enigmatia

⭒♫ Faction⭒› The Grand Promethean Theater

⭒♬ Combat Info⭒› 5 Star, Fire/Harmony

⭒𝄞 Species⭒› Grimalkin (species info to be added)

⭒♫ Planet⭒› Bacharach - Laurel Wreath Galaxy (planet info to be added)

@miscellaneouslibrary @raven-starlight hope you don't mind me tagging you two, but you both seemed interested in knowing more about her :D

COMBAT:

pretend XX is a number I'm too lazy to figure out what it would realistically be T-T

⭒𝄞 Basic ATK⭒› Cutting Words

Deals Fire DMG equal to 50% of Klio’s ATK.

⭒♫ Skill⭒› Lights, Curtains, Action!

Increases the ATK of a single ally equal to XX% of Klio’s ATK for two turns. At the same time, Advance Forward the targeted ally’s action by 20%

⭒♬ Ult⭒› Final Bow in a Full House

Creates a field that lasts for two turns, decreasing by one at the start of Klio’s turn. While the field is active, increase DMG done by allies by XX%. Additionally, while an ally’s energy is full inside the field, gain Patronage, lasting until the Ult is cast. Ults cast while Patronage is active use up less energy and deal increased damage.

⭒𝄞 Talent⭒› A Tough Act to Follow

After a character uses their Ult, their next attack deals XX% more DMG 

⭒♫ Technique⭒› Shifting Stargazer

....I'll figure it out later its late and I'm tired

LORE

Introduction

A playwright and Emanator of Enigmata who wants to make the world more like one of her shows (really taking the phrase "all the world's a stage" literally huh) She's revered for her storytelling and her status in high society as a patron of heros.

Personality

Eccentric and dramatic, Klio usually follows her heart over her head. She's very emotional and rarely seen being calm or serious. At worst, she's childish with a dangerous amount of power at her fingertips. At best, she's playful and happily uses her status to uplift others.

Character Stories

(to be added)

Voicelines

Voice Claim - ok imagine Furina's voice but 1) slightly deeper/mature and 2) slightly Italian boom done

First Meeting: "I've been keeping up on your journey, Trailblazer. If you ever want a stage adaptation, you must let me know at once!"

Greeting: "I've been running into you a lot...hey, this isn't a ploy to get free tickets, huh?

Parting: "Leaving already? Well, if you must leave so soon, make sure you come to see my next show!"

About Self - Book and Pen: "The book records and the pen rewrites- it's simple enough."

Chat - Intelligentsia Guild: "While the Genius Society is too busy to focus on me, and the IPC likes me enough to leave me alone, some members of the Guild have nothing better to do than bother a lady on her rest days- the day they stop messing with me will be the day I keel over dead!"

Annoyances: "Too often I have to wake up early for events- why can't they set them for later in the day, when people aren't asleep?"

Hobbies: "In addition to writing the scripts, I compose the music for my plays as well. It's rather relaxing, you should try it sometimes."

About Mr. Reca: "We disagree on some points, but I can always count on him to give me good feedback- that's why he always gets the first invite to my premieres."

About Dr. Ratio: "What was it he called me? Ah, yes- "a hedonistic fool who delights in obscuring the truth." Well, I was made an Emanator, and he hasn't gotten so much as a glance- let me ask, which one of us is the true fool?"

About Duke Bellerophon: "How he can manage to be that calm all the time is beyond me. If I had to sit through that many useless meetings I'd go insane!"

About Duke Bellerophon (2): "He's rather quiet, but I guess anyone would be considered quiet when compared to me, hehe."

Trivia/Fun Facts

⭒› She was originally designed to be a Masked Fool who was Elio's sister, and her first design was purple and black instead of red, white, and gold

⭒› VERY picky with her food, she's very gourmet and dislikes processed food. Her favorite food is sweet crêpes, she likes how versatile they are.

⭒› Despite being powerful magically, she's a coward, squeamish, and bad at most kinds of physical combat. No wonder she gets other people to fight for her!

⭒› Her last name is Vittorio, meaning winner or conqueror. She picked it out for herself after seeing it on the inside cover of her book.

⭒› Her and her planet are based on the Baroque period, specifically Baroque Italy/Rome, France, and Germany.

[onaperduamedee]

Hi ! I know we never talked, and I don't want to hurt you even more by making you think about this more than necessary, so feel free to ignore me

I just read the addition you made to your post about WOT, and why it's so difficult for you to deal with the fandom and the whole situation rn, and I wanted to say thank you. You put into words what I feel, too, and it almost made me cry. The whole part about not letting it contaminate all the joy that came before and not destroy your creativity is exactly what I'm struggling with since Thursday, too, so thank you for saying it, I guess? I don't really have a point other than that, so yeah, just thank you, and I guess good luck for dealing with this whole mess ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Thank you very much for your message and for understanding. I'm so sorry you are in the same place because it is the most harrowing feeling in the world. It's such an incredibly lonely and useless sensation. It is one thing to be shocked by a show's decision, it's another to have that decision change the way you see the story and the fandom so profoundly that it rewrites your own history with said story. I have several WIPs I don't know what to do with because I was waiting for the finale to provide certain scenes for gifsets or drawings. 

It's like opening the fridge to make a dish you had bought all the ingredients for and discovering they are rotten. Did I use the crème fraîche yesterday? Were people sick? Now do I cook something else or try to run to the store although it's probably too late? 

I have so much stuff that I want to create still! Gifsets and doodles and metas! But who am I going to share that with? With fans who have always treated the queer characters like they were on borrowed times? Who have tolerated the presence of gay fans and now that those fans are upset they are to be reasoned with like children? Who wholeheartedly agree with the showrunner that there was never anything more to Siuan's story than this, Moiraine's tragic girlfriend? I would feel silly to share my art with that knowledge. 

Ultimately what I mourn most profoundly is the loss of the community. I always knew some fractures were deep; they are inherent to fandoms and can never be mended. But for a moment, while the show had two lesbians as part of the main romances, it seemed like the corner in which gay fans are generally confined was not a corner but the whole playground. It felt miraculous to know that Moiraine would have a powerful arc as Rand's mentor and Siuan, in a smaller capacity, would go on to weave a brilliant tale about resilence with Egwene. But it was never part of the deal.

The deal was that the apotheosis of Siuan's story would be death, and their happy ending will likely happen in death. And most of the fandom is fine with that, while I cannot find it in me to be.

I don't really have an answer against that rotting feeling and the way it is making me question my enjoyment of past interactions. I guess I will retreat to more private spaces for sharing my art and thoughts because I cannot stop creating and talking about this universe that means still so much to me. But as I said, the show and its fandom have been tainted and perhaps it will clear out with time.

For now, there's just a lot of love I don't know what to do with. 

So I'm really glad you reached out because it does make me feel less alone to find other creators stuck in this in-between, shallow quicksand that refuses to let go or swallow the light entirely. I hope you find something a way out of it as well. Thank you ❤️

[clovermarigold]

Daggers & Daffodils Chap.30

Dagur x Reader

I liiiiiiive!!! So, a "little" over 10 days, but hey, that's just how my brain works, I guess. I had to split this one because it would have been too long. I DON'T HAVE THAT KIND OF TIME

Also, I can't believe I didn't realize the chapters on Wattpad have been out of order for who knows how long. So, I'd like to apologize for anyone who was confused by that (it has been fixed).

This is my first ever fanfic, but seeing as we've reached, I believe 3 years on it now, it's painful to reread it and see how many writing styles it's lived through. Maybe one day when its finished and my brain can handle it, I'll do rewrites and fixes.

On the other hand, for my Tumblr users, I am so sorry for whatever is going on with my masterlist. I'm not sure which one, but it seems like one of the chapters is missing from it. Here are the links for the Wattpad and ao3 versions of the story for you to read until the problem is resolved. If you happen to know which chapter is missing, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU TELL ME. My brain is too tired for this shit lol.

_____

Being 'not grounded' was a lot less terrible than you had initially thought. Though you were pretty sure that was due to the fact that for once the group stayed on the edge for more than a week before Dagur or some other problem decided to ruin your day. Mind you there had been a few times that the others rushed someone towards you due to a dragon burn, fractured wrist or other injury. But in all fairness, it was comforting. It reminded you of being back on Berk, and taking care of your sick patients, but without all of the stress. Fishlegs in particular has been so sweet and considerate as far in helping take over smaller injuries.

As much as you wanted to get back out there with the others and Silver Tongue, the amount of care the others showed you was enough to keep you sane.

What wasn't keeping you sane however, was the egregious number of stairs plaguing the edge. As the resident 'doctor' of the edge you had hoped that you telling the others hiking a marathon to get to the clubhouse, with a history of concussions, was in no one's best interest, would have a little more weight.

"Ugh" you groaned. Damn it, why did you have to think of the word weight. Every step felt like lugging around a basket of Meatlug's quartzite. Luckly you were currently walking downhill, craving the sweet break you had so perfectly crafted.

You had to hand it to Fishlegs, his Zen Garden was without a doubt the most peaceful and quiet place on the edge. But your brain found it nearly impossible to relax in silence doing nothing. It just stung you wrong. Not being active.

"eugh" you shuddered at the thought. Yeah. Unnatural.

No. Your sanctuary was the small flat grass beds next to your hut that you had turned into a lovely little garden. Your perfect patch of land you had managed to sca-.... haggle, from Snotlout was perfect for this unwilling sentence you had been given.

It also had to be the best smelling place on the edge. Lush with lavender, thyme sprouts, and an assortment of flowers. Some of them were medicinal, but others were purely aesthetic. The daffodils were a personal favorite. Exclusive to early spring, but so bright and colorful.

Being the lowest elevated of the huts, you were just able to make out the sound of the waves breaking in the shore while you worked outside. As well as gifting you a superb view of the shoreline stretching around the island in a bowl shape. It also had the unwanted effect of being the farthest from the pens and the clubhouse. But hey, who was keeping track?

You....

It was always going to be you.

You flopped onto the large sunbathing body strewn about in your yard. "Can you get better faster? I think my feet are going to get abs at this rate". Silver Tongue let out a sour huff before he did a quick jolt, sending you and Scabbard rolling off.

You sighed, shifting to face the now turned away form of your dragon, "Not a morning guy huh?".

The gang took turns when it came to cooking, today was yours. Both Fishlegs and Hiccup had offered to take over for you while Silver Tongue was recovering, but that was the last thing you needed. Unfortunately, that did leave you getting up at ungodly hours just to walk to the clubhouse, cook, eat, and walk back down.

Thank Thor you didn't have to worry about it until next week as of now. Mutton was simple. And not necessarily a breakfast food, but you were able to make enough for everyone. And now you could rest.

Closing your eyes you listened to the soft lapping of the waves beneath you, enjoying the warmth of the early morning sun on your back.

You liked doing this, the water felt so close. Honestly, in all actuality that probably wasn't a good thing. Being lower to the ground meant you were the most likely to have your hut stormed in an invasion. Then again, you doubted anyone would willingly climb up a cliff just to land in front of a temperamental ass of a dragon.

Dagur would

You hissed out your nose... well, there went your peace. You sat up quickly, walking over to your garden.

Dagur...

That stupid man.

You grumbled as you plopped down onto your stool, muttering to yourself as you began to whittle posts for your cherry gourds to grow on. The mere thought of him managed to sour your entire mood. Sensing the turn in energy, Scabbard began to rub herself against your shins, letting out a purr sweet enough to lift the corners of your dour frown.

Maybe blaming it all on Dagur was a little unfair, it had been weeks of repeating the same routine all the while having to deal with a grumpy sick dragon, and the incessant nagging at the back of your head that your brother didn't trust you.

Though, it was wrong to say that when you didn't even trust yourself. You dreamt of that day on the Hunters ship. Nightmare was the more appropriate term. Hiccup would ask you how you were feeling and what he could do to help. You knew it wouldn't help.

Bringing it up would only make the feeling fresh and strong. Moral in the group was back to normal now that everyone knew they could trust Heather again. You didn't want to destroy that because of your own problems.

Heather was behind enemy lines, Viggo had yet to be revealed, and Dagur was on the loose. It was too risky to make things personal.

"Ow" a sharp pain stung your hand as the knife slid along the wood in a strange angle, cutting into your palm. Wincing, you looked down at your now bleeding hand. Well, that was certainly a metaphor for something. Scabbard began to squirm from her spot at your feet. Climbing your legs to perch on your shoulder, all but shoving her massive head into your hand to get a better look.

"This is what you get for complaining" you scolded yourself, pushing Scabbard away with your uncut hand "Positives! Positives!".

Astrid had been one of your main sources of entertainment. Taking you on patrol with her so you could spend some time in the air. You never realized how dependent you were on Silver Tongue until now.

Wait no! That turned into a negative. You groaned, grabbing a clean cloth to wrap your hand, careful not to get blood on your finished post.

You had also realized how much you missed spending time with your best friend. Sure, you spent time together and had fun every once and a while. But it was nice to have some, one on one. Silver Tongue was less than amused at being left out, but when wasn't he. It was funny to say the least. As much as he sulked when you were gone, what really set him off was Scabbard bonding with Stormfly. The big oaf loved to pretend she was a nuisance and a chore, but the moment she makes new friends he gets jealous.

Being trapped on the Edge was so boring you actually caught yourself enjoying Astrid's morning fly's, or in other words, 'totally not a patrol'. Usually, the idea of getting up to move fast in the cold and misty morning air would make you gag. But you were growing in appreciation for the ability to be back in the air.

A loud thud sounded as if on cue, Stormfly landed not far from your garden.

"I can't believe those two" Astrid complained as she entered your room.

"They left two dummies to guard the entire Edge!" she began to march back and forward once she passed the small stone wall that lined the garden, "Seriously, could you imagine what could have happened if the hunters had been there last night?".

"Uh huh" you said, not looking away from your hands. Astrid huffed, "You're not even listening to me, are you?".

"I am. But you did just trample my celery, so you're not very high on my list right now" you smile at the groan of annoyance she let out when she looked down to see that you were not in fact joking. "Well, if you don't wanna listen, I'm going to tell Hiccup" Putting down your post you turn to her, "Oh, could you grab me some fish from the pens for Silver Tongue?".

"Sorry, you're not very high on my list right now" Astrid tried to sound angry, but the cynical smile she failed to hide gave her away. And you watched as your chance of avoiding the stairs moved to close the door behind her.

An added weight to your head followed by a tail blocking your vision with a low purr told you well enough that someone else was happy at the idea of you being forced to have some alone time. "Don't think I'm carrying you" Scabbard let out a cough of fire in disapproval.

-------------------

"Dummies, you say?" you heard Tuff ask as you made it to the clubhouse's ledge, embarrassingly out of breath with a perked-up Scabbard on your head.

"She does. Poor confused thing" Ruff shook her head with a look of pity. Scabbard quickly leapt into action, lunging at another terror that seemed to have given Hiccup a message, into a playful tackle.

"What you fail to realize in your foggy morning state, is that those are not dummies. They are scare ships" Astrid pressed a hand against her head, likely to aid the oncoming headache, "Scare ships? You're serious?".

"You didn't see any ships near the island. Did you? I think not. And why? They were appropriately scared away. By the appropriately named, Scare ships"

Astrid turned to the two of you, mainly Hiccup, "Are you following any of this?".

"Not super closely. I'm actually reading this" he gestured to the note in his hands, "It's from Johann, he's in trouble". You exchanged worried looks.

"Right, Fishlegs, Snotlout, we're heading out" he called to the two still inside enjoying their breakfast.

"Oh no. You are not leaving me with these two mutton heads" Astrid semi-whispered. Much to the offended twin's annoyance, "She knows we're standing right here, right?".

"Of course, not" Hiccup said, making Astrid let out a sigh of relief. "I'm leaving you with these three mutton heads" he smiled while gesturing to you, "Hey, what did I do!?".

"Look, Johann is surrounded by Dragon Hunters, and his ship is taking on water. We have to get out there and help him".

"Then, let me saddle up Stormfly, I'll be there in-" Hiccup cut her off. "Astrid, you need to stay here and hold down the Edge. And make sure nothing happens to the Dragon Eye" he held out the spy glass, to be begrudgingly accepted.

"Welcome to team grounded" you say, propping your head on your hand with a sarcastic hooray. "Y/N, come on, you know you're not grounded" Hiccup argued.

"Then can you ground me, because being 'not grounded' sucks" Astrid looked to your brother with a near pleading expression, using your case as an example," I can't believe what's happening. This may actually be the worst day in history".

"Astrid, Snotlout and I have the only working dragon armor, and Meatlug is immune to the Dragon Hunters' arrows" Fishlegs bristled giddily, showering her in praises for being such a good boulder class dragon.

"Hiccup, please! For all that is sacred in Thor's world you cannot leave me alone with these two-"

"What do you say? Simpletons? Blockheads?" Tuff. "I was always partial to dimwit myself. it rolls trippingly off the tongue" Ruff. "Oh yeah. Watch this. What wit dim, would the twins dim wit, id dim wits could wit dim? Say that five times fast" the two laughed as Astrid dragged her hand down her face, "You see what I'm talking about, right?".

"Hey, it's not like we woke up this morning hoping to spend 24/7 with you either, Astrid. I mean you are not exactly a picnic. And I think you know what I'm saying. You have not ever been a blanket on a grassy knoll with delicious food" Hiccup groaned at the turn in direction the conversation had taken.

"But we are team players. We will do what in necessary for the good of the group. Hence, we shall remain behind and enjoy your good company, my fair Astrid" Tuff gave an exaggerated bow, "even if you have no blankets, or grassy knolls to offer".

"We'll be back by tomorrow at the latest. Just do the best you can. Okay?" Hiccup put a hand on Astrids shoulder comfortingly. "Aw no speech or encouragement for me to stay?" you ask.

"You don't need to be convinced, you just like to complain" sad and hurtful, but true. You huff a pout and mumble mockingly at your brother as he walks away.

"Bye we'll miss you. Write home often" Tuff waved, "Okay, I think the first team building exercise we should perform is that of going back to sleep. I mean, as a team, of course".

"I have to go hide this" she shook the Dragon Eye, "And when I get back, I expect both of you to be sweating profusely from hard work". The two made faces, turning away.

"You know that's not gonna happen" Astrid turns to you. "Please tell me that you're going to help me with those two".

"I prefer to stay away from drama" you crossed your arms with a smile. "Since when?" Astrid yelled as you turned to walk away towards the kitchen. "Since now" you giggled, the look of horror plastered on Astrid's face having made your day.

-------------------

It took an embarrassingly long time to finish your chores, leaving you sweating in the son at the top of the club house stairs. Hiccup really needed to come up with a plan for getting around the edge easier. You were beginning to feel your ankle buckle, it was fine for now, but you made sure to be extra careful not to slip, a harsh landing may just finish you off at this rate.

"Ok. Yak face is fed. Posts are done. And the rat is moisturized" Scabbard squirmed lazily against the wood stairs with a grumble at the insult.

After being forced to trek the distance back and forth between your hut and the others you were scared to even look at the winding path again. No, you weren't going back down those steps until there was absolutely zero chance you would be needed back here.

Looking to the sky it was starting to get dark, the sun struggling to peak beyond the horizon. A multitude of heavy and light thuds clued you in to the hulking shadow of Stormfly.

Her rider strut close by, arms crossed in a sign of her mood.

"What's wrong?" you sat up to turn to her, an uncomfortable feeling in your gut when she avoided eye contact.

"You guys know I respect you, right?" the question caught you off guard. "Well... You hold yourself to a very high standard. Which is admirable" you held your hands up when she gave you a pointed stare, "You just.... also happen to hold everyone else to the same impossible standard". Astrid groaned, whether it was from annoyance with you or herself remained to be seen.

"Astrid!" the two of you turned towards the screaming and running Tuff. "Tuffnut, breathe. What's going on?" Astrid put a hand on his back as he hunched over gasping.

"You have got to do something about those stairs. I mean there must be hundreds of then, there's over ten at least. Honestly, Y/N, I don't know how you do it".

"That's it? The stairs?" Tuff shook his head, "No it's Ruffnut. They got Ruffnut".

"Who did?" You were quick to ask.

"Dragon hunters"

Taglist

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[harzilla]

*slaps hand on table*

Tell me about your Yuusona. Your twst protag. I love seeing people's ideas and concepts. Are they just you? That's awesome! Are they twisted from a Disney character? Sweet! Are they your way to work through your trauma? More power to you!

One of my favorites is @ilmacore 's Maria. Blessed adorable abuelita Yuu.

I have four currently rolling around in my head. Each one is based on a type of genre.

The first is chubby!Yuu, the shoujo/magical girl type. My darling lil chubby gal who is another member of the sunshine team. The best damn support these boys will have. Her nickname from Floyd would be capybara(I originally had it as manatee but capybara fits her more because she's genuinely nice and tries to get along with everybody). I see her wearing a lot of cottage core, florals, etc... soft feminine clothing. Her ending would have her finding a way back home but being able to travel back and forth between Twst and her home world. You can guess which boy(or boys) might have a crush on her based on these pics.

The next one I call punk!Yuu. The one who fits the shonen archetype. Had a shitty life growing up and was a homeless teen. They ended up in Twst after dying from being hit by a car. Most likely to throw hands for pissing them off. Floyd calls them pistol shrimp. Climbed on and smashed the head of an overblot. Threw Jade at Floyd during book 2's investigation. Protective of those they care about. Lots of piercing and punk style clothing. My favorite ship with them is actually Riddle. Very opposites attract situation. But they have a lot in common(Yuu's father was a worse version of Riddle's mother) Yuu teaches Riddle to live life more freely, and Riddle teaches them to be less rebellious. This Yuu stays in Twst when they find out the truth of how they got there because they're genuinely happier then they ever were back home.

The third Yuu is adopted!Yuu. The one from my previous musings. A Yuu that fits the reincarnated! Archetype. This Yuu originally died in the bad ending timeline where Yuu overblots and becomes a calamity class monster who destroys the world. They were given a second chance at life when they finally died in the first timeline. They reincarnated as an infant and was adopted by Crowley. This Yuu is fairly mellow, when asked why they did something the answer is just they felt like it, but is also good at pulling at Crowley's strings to get what they want. They have a preference for loose, casual clothing. Preferring to wear things like oversized t-shirts and hoodies. Their ending is they almost repeat the calamity when their past life memories begin to overtake their current life after all the overblots including Grim's. But the difference is the previous life Yuu has nobody, but this Yuu has their friends, Grim, and Crowley to save them.

The fourth Yuu I call Author!Yuu. They're pretty much a Yuu who gained so much magical power they became the equivalent of a god. Because they were the first anomaly, they don't age at all and have lived thousands of years accumulating magic and knowledge, even out living Malleus. Their life is lonely and they actually don't want to see another person end up like them. Their magic allows them to manipulate the timelines within a certain limitation. They can't rewrite timelines completely, but they figure out a loophole by finding the alternate versions of themselves they think will give the best outcome for the "story" of the world. This Yuu is the one who figured out the precognitive dreams system to help each Yuu out. This version of Yuu exists in a world where ALL the stories of Twst are true. Fanfics, fanart, game, manga, novel, etc... every story is its own world and this Yuu records every one of them within their great library. Every book in the library of their soul is a story somebody has written about the world of Twst.

So, tell me more about your Yuus.

[jack-of-heartstrings]

yay you've watched the episode!! :D

do you have thoughts or feelings about the whole new big cult thing reveal?

I'VE BEEN TELLING EVERYONE!!! After so long I was shocked to actually see it more directly, but I've been reminding people for ages that we still didn't know shit about What We Started Fifteen Years Ago! That there was this whole big conspiracy in the background! We never saw it more clearly than the Shanghai special but it's been alluded to offhand since then, and hints have been dropped as well.

xD I am unfortunately going to have to rewrite (easy) and re-record audio (PAIN AND MISERY AND SUFFERING FOR TEN THOUSAND YEARS) for the Chloe video essay I was working on now that we know a little more but YEAH.

I think it's likely an extremely important detail that Gabriel was "The Diamond", and the party in Emotion was the "Diamonds' Dance", and likely also that the party in Gabriel Agreste had such a similar aesthetic to the Diamonds' Dance.

I'm not sure if his code name makes me more or less certain the suspiciously-all-similar-aged kids at the Diamonds' Dance of which confirmed Sentis Adrien and Kagami were the king and queen were also all Sentis themselves, but I still think it's a strong possibility too. Yes this includes Chloe. Especially Chloe. I've been trying to figure out which icon Audrey could be now that we've seen the council, and wondering if Andre is still involved, though I imagine much like Nathalie it's hard to truly leave. 100% though, Chloe is more of a celebrity now because the organization is collectively pushing for her to fill the space left by Adrien (and to an extent Kagami).

I also suspect, of all people, Bob Roth is probably involved, if not on a seat then as someone's Shadow, but very possibly as a council member outright. His inclusion in the episode card of Gabriel Agreste was always so suspicious and part of the cult evidence, and as comically over the top as he is, he is very much a picture of corrupt corporate greed that seems very much the cult's MO. Everything he's doing setting up his son as a manufactured icon fits perfectly with what we've seen so far with the Perfect World Project. (Hell, even learning Luka was Jagged's son and going "you can always turn a celebrity's kid into a celebrity" like... wouldn't be evidence on its own but with surrounding context is... yeah, that would track, huh.)

I am so SO bad with audio processing, and between different presentation (haughty vs low and slow and serious), the slight mechanical distortion on the call, AND a language I don't speak, I CANNOT tell just comparing the French versions if the voices are at all similar or wildly obviously different, so someone please do tell me if it's the latter. But with the context that my brain just sucks at this so I'm purely guessing from visual cues and subtitles, I wonder if Lord Graham is the Scepter.

(Edit to add: I thought Tomoe being The Machine was too obvious to need a mention but just saw people questioning so I'll throw that in too. She's definitely The Machine. Between taking of Gabriel's work, the manufacturing business, and "I never fail" with the whole Tsurugi family themes. Yeah.)

I'M WILDLY DELIGHTED THAT WE ARE GETTING NATHALIE LORE and I did not expect HER family to be equally involved in this but I am NOT complaining. FANTASTIC time to introduce it, too, weighed against Ivan's lore drop and Adrien's struggles.

BUT YEAH. I think my ideal would be us getting scattered tidbits more this season, like significant but small bits, until the season finale or close to it, and then dealing more heavily with the cult next season. As eager as I am for answers I do enjoy the slow burn and think it'll be great to keep the focus on the interpersonal stuff going on for most of this season. I'm willing to wait.

[daftmooncretin]

rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.