#i had to delete so much shit off my laptop to even get it to update

[tphobos]

they updated the kissing in bg3!!!

[jjunieworld]

don’t delete the kisses ｡ﾟ🎶 ⋆₊

pairing: choi beomgyu x fem!reader

genre: angst, smut, ex-bestfriends to lovers, ex bff!beomgyu, musician!beomgyu, mutual (unknown) pining, fluff if you squint, non-idol!au, alcohol/drinking

synopsis: two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu. two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends. now he’s an up and coming musician and you see his face and hear his music almost everywhere in your local city; not knowing that the songs he writes are about you.

warnings: tipsy sex (consensual), soft sex basically, lots of yearning, unprotected sex (wrap it then tap it), oral (f. rec), kinda service top!beomgyu, slight overstimulation (m. rec), beomgyu is really just catering to y/n, some hair pulling (m. rec), multiple orgasms, creampie, petnames (baby), aftercare

word count: 9.3k┊v-day event masterlist┊masterlist

a/n: based off don’t delete the kisses by wolf alice and part three of my v-day event! i didn’t mean for this to be 9.3k omg. be glad i didn’t have the party hosted by jackson wang lmao.. sorry if the lyrics are kinda bad i am nawt a songwriter (there’s no like certain tune to them so reading them regularly is fine)! this beomgyu is the one i was imagining in this (he’s sooo fucking pretty). i hope you enjoy! ♡

two years ago, you admitted to yourself that you were in love with your bestfriend beomgyu.

it was a jarring realization; realizing that you’ve been harboring these slowly growing feelings for him all this time. it was as if one day the house was empty and the next all of the furniture and decorations were displayed and put up. like beomgyu had lived in the recesses of your mind all this time and you’ve never even known.

your acceptance was gradual, mainly because you had buried yourself in your studies along with beomgyu so you didn’t spend as much time together as you both would have wanted. he was studying music, his passion since before you’ve even known him, and you were studying writing. beomgyu was working on his debut ep and you were working on your debut novel.

you had noticed it when you started to realize how much the love interest in your novel reminded you of him. and then how much of your love interest actually was beomgyu, down to similarities in their physical description. it was a moment that beomgyu himself was present for, surprisingly.

beomgyu was sitting on your couch, strumming chords lightly and humming softly to himself as he polished up one of the songs he was writing. you were in the corner of the room at your desk, proofreading the chapter you had just written. a gasp had left your lips as you stared wide eyed at the bright white screen in front of you.

the strumming abruptly stopped as beomgyu turned to you, “what is it?” you bit down on your bottom lip as you read the paragraph over and over again. you saw him shift in the corner of your eye and knew he was about to come and see for himself. quickly, you changed the tab to the one that held your outline. “it’s nothing,” you turned, smiling over at him. “just realized that i accidentally created a huge plot hole…” beomgyu chuckled before returning back to his song.

that night, you had read over everything you’ve written so far in a flurry. beomgyu was everywhere in your novel. from the main character to the side characters to the love interest. there was no escaping him.

“shit,” you muttered as you trailed a hand down your face, throwing your laptop onto your bed as you got up to get a drink from the kitchen. tiptoeing past beomgyu’s room in your shared apartment, you reached the kitchen quietly, hopeful that you didn’t somehow wake him.

turns out that was pointless since beomgyu was leaning against the counter, eyes trained on you. you jumped and threw a hand against your chest. “why aren’t you asleep?!” you whisper-yelled, even though there was no need since it was only the two of you in the apartment. beomgyu grinned, putting the cup he was holding to his lips, “why aren’t you?” he spoke softly as well and you walked over to join him.

beomgyu shined hazily in the orange stove light and you took a sip from the glass of alcohol you poured as you looked at him. the two of you stood there for a moment, quietly taking in each other’s presence.

“so why are you awake? it’s almost four in the morning,” beomgyu asked quietly as he broke the silence. you looked towards the living room and took another sip from your glass. “i was proofreading… you?” you asked, looking back to him. “songwriting,” beomgyu responded. you hummed, nodding a little. “wanna hear what i have so far?” he then asked. you nodded more and he led you to his room.

beomgyu’s laptop was open on his bed, all kinds of cords connected to it. his guitar was strewn across it, like he had tossed it on his bed haphazardly in frustration. beomgyu picked the guitar up and sat it back on it’s stand near the wall. sitting on his bed, he patted the spot next to him so you could join. then, he put the headphones over your head and pressed play on his laptop.

music traveled through your ears. it was just the instrumental, but already you could tell how beautiful the song was gonna be. you looked over at him, a proud smile on your face when suddenly you heard his voice. it was only soft background vocals, the ones that you could barely make out, but it sounded heavenly. when the music ended, your smile stretched from ear to ear and you raised your hands to cover it. “that was beautiful, beomgyu! seriously!”

he gave you an unsure look, “is it? i’m not really sure about it. i feel like it might mess with the flow of the ep…” you shook your head rapidly, the headphones almost coming off. “no you have to keep it, it’s amazing! it’s gonna be even better once you add your voice.”

beomgyu beamed as he took in your words. “i gotta hear it again,” you grinned, pressing play on the laptop. you faintly heard beomgyu’s laugh behind the music.

you would give anything for all of your nights—or early mornings—to be exactly like this. the two of you here together, side by side. laughing together and sharing your passions together. to stay with beomgyu until the very end.

two years ago, you and your bestfriend beomgyu stopped being bestfriends.

just like you admitting and realizing your feelings for him, it was sudden. as sudden as storm clouds slowly passing over the sky and the fury of rain could be. it was late morning and the two of you were on your couch; beomgyu’s guitar in his lap and you sitting next to him as he strummed. he was playing one of the finished songs he had written, the one he had written for you. beomgyu had called it ‘graze.’

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” you sung the lyrics together. beomgyu smiled warmly at you.

beomgyu had given you some insight into the lyrics he had written. the first part, “her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss,” was about the day you had first spoken. it was senior year of highschool and the two of you were paired together on a project. you were meeting somewhere to work on it, but you accidentally walked past the meeting place, completely passing by beomgyu unaware.

the next part, “when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” is when the two of you had gotten close; close enough to share secrets and comfort each other through the thoughts they consumed. everytime the two of you texted, you would end the conversation off with an ‘xxx.’ kisses. it had become your thing with beomgyu, so much so that he wrote it into his song.

when the song had ended, beomgyu suddenly perked up. “let me show you the song i’ve been working on! the one i showed you the other day,” he exclaimed. he started strumming chords, humming softly as he began the song. “i only have, like, one lyric for it right now,” he interjected as he continued strumming.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind…” beomgyu sang to the tune of his guitar. your smile faltered, but you managed to put it back in tact as beomgyu glanced up from his guitar to ask for your opinion. it was a love song he was writing. a love song for someone that wasn’t you.

“it’s beautiful, like all of your songs are. i like the new addition! how long have you been working on it?” you smiled, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. beomgyu began to blush as he turned to set his guitar aside, moving his hair over his ears. the tips of them were red. “for a little bit now. i just can’t seem to find the words of the feelings i want to convey,” he replied.

your glass heart shattered, it’s pieces making its way into your bloodstream. piercing pieces dug into beomgyu’s skin. “who’s the lucky person?” you asked, swallowing hard. he turned back to you and smirked. “just someone i’ve known for a while... i think we’re really starting to hit it off!”

after that day, you started to distance yourself from beomgyu. at first, it was only your feelings. limiting the amount of times you touched in any way or adding space between your bodies when you were near each other. then, it was almost as if the two of you were strangers living in the same place.

beomgyu had definitely noticed. you could feel his lingering look at the back of your neck. hear his questions in the air that hangs between you. but your feelings just wouldn’t go away. maybe they were right when they said that distance makes the heart grow fonder.

you locked yourself in your room, working on and rewriting your book over and over again. trying—and failing horribly—to remove beomgyu from the caverns of it. nothing worked, but you were desperate.

one day, beomgyu was playing his guitar a little too loud while you were in your room writing. usually, this wouldn’t be a problem at all. beomgyu always made sure not to be too noisy when you were writing, even though you always told him how much it helped you to have the background music. but this time, this time was different.

you were frustrated, agitated, still deep in love, and still deep in the great unreciprocated. you had flung your door open and stormed into the living room where he was playing and yelled at him to stop.

beomgyu looked up at you with wide, shocked eyes. it was dead silent for a moment, not even the sound of your breathing was heard. too late you realized what you had done. silently, beomgyu collected his things and made his way to his room, not sparing you a single glance or even a murmur. you watched him, an apology, an excuse on your lips.

the next day after you came home from researching at the library, you found a single note from him that was left on the kitchen counter. “i can’t live here with a stranger anymore,” was all it said. finally, you noticed how empty the apartment looked. how empty it looked for a while now. beomgyu was gone, and it was all your fault.

today, you could barely walk the streets of your city without seeing his face or hearing his music.

“UP AND COMING!” the article’s title had read as they delved into an interview with your former best friend. you pushed the laptop away, even after these two years apart you couldn’t face him. not even through a screen. couldn’t face how you tore your friendship apart because you couldn’t control your own feelings. maybe love just wasn’t meant for you.

you heard a sigh from next to you. “just read it!” your friend, yeonjun, drawled. “you’re mentioned.” you let out a sigh yourself with a roll of your eyes as you grabbed the laptop. “if i’m mentioned, it’s not gonna be something good.”

you scrolled down the article until you got to the part where beomgyu got interviewed. most of the questions were about his debut album and upcoming tour. you haven’t listened to any of his songs since he released his ep. hearing his voice was just too much. your eyes stopped on a question that mentioned one of the songs from his debut ep; your song.

Q. one of your more, if not most, popular song is a song called ‘graze.’ can you give us some input into what the song is about? how you came up with it? BEOMGYU: i actually had written the song for someone who i was very close to at the time. originally, the song was about the dynamics of our friendship. but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics. speaking of the lyrics, when i wrote the song i had come up with them first and the rest just kinda flowed after that. it was the first song that i had finished for my ep, and the one i was most proud of. i’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy the song!

you inhaled sharply at his answer. “but as things change, so did the meaning of the lyrics.” you weren’t expecting him to hold fondness for you after everything, after all this time, but his response did sting.

Q. you mentioned how the meaning of the song lyrics changed, does that tie into the title of the song? was ‘graze’ a double meaning this whole time? BEOMGYU: i guess you could say that! there wasn’t a double meaning at the beginning, but alas… to graze means to be scraped lightly in passing, to break the surface of the skin. but it also means to touch, to caress. to slightly damage or to gently touch.

Q. it also means to take in small quantities at frequent, did you know that? BEOMGYU: i didn’t! see how meanings can change!

blinking the tears brimming in the corner of your eyes away, you look back over to yeonjun. he looked at you with eyebrows raised and you shrugged at him. what did he want you to say? that you missed him? you did. that you wish things were different between the two of you? you do. what is that going to change?

“he mentioned the song he wrote! for you!” yeonjun exclaimed. you shrugged again, “he mentioned the song he wrote for someone he used to be close with. like he said, things change.” yeonjun groaned as he fell into the pillows on your bed.

shortly after beomgyu had moved out, you moved into a smaller, one bedroom apartment. it was eating away at you inside looking at how empty and lifeless your apartment you had shared with beomgyu looked. you couldn’t take how everywhere you looked, a memory of the two of you followed.

“he’s having a show at the arena downtown. we’re going,” yeonjun stated. your eyes widened and you furiously shook your head. “no… no i can’t.” two years and you crossed the street if there was a poster of him up next to the sidewalk. two years and you went everywhere with headphones, music blasting in your ears to cover his playing softly throughout the city. you couldn’t see him face to face. couldn’t watch as his smile faltered and his eyes lost their emotion as he looked at you.

yeonjun reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets, “it’s too late, i already got the tickets. i can’t watch anymore as the two of you avoid each other. it’s been two years and not once have i seen the both of you in the same room let alone on the same block.” you put your face into your hands as you leaned over onto the bed, groaning loudly.

somehow you forgot that beomgyu and yeonjun were also friends. close friends at that. the two of them were friends before you and beomgyu were. you wanted to curse at the sky. “and don’t even try to find some way out of it either. i will drag you there kicking and screaming if i have to.” yeonjun added.

“but i have to finish writing my bo—“ you started before yeonjun swiftly cut you off. “it’s this weekend, so you have the whole week to prepare yourself.”

when you were alone that night in the comforting isolation of your bedroom, you let yourself scroll through your old messages with beomgyu. let your eyes wander over the ‘xxx’ at the end of your messages. you fingers moved on their own as they began typing out a message.

old apologies, old excuses. you had the nerve to add ‘xxx’ at the end like the two of you were still who you once used to be. you deleted the kisses at the end, deleted the message altogether. it’s not that you would ever send it anyways.

you thought about how your life would be if you and beomgyu weren’t strangers now. if you were more than best friends, getting to know each other again. you imagined late nights of you taking him out to bars in celebration of his new releases. pressing proud kisses to his lips as the alcohol and your love warmed the both of your bodies. shaking your head to yourself, you pushed the thoughts away. no use in daydreaming.

the damning beat of your heart got louder and louder the closer you and yeonjun got to the arena. the closer and closer you got to beomgyu. at the rate your heart was going, the sheer loudness would create a guilty beat for everyone to sing along to.

you handed in your tickets and made your way to the floor. when you read the tickets and saw that they were for the floor, you almost killed yeonjun. you thought you could be sly and sit somewhere in the seats, somewhere where beomgyu wouldn’t have a high possibility of seeing you. you were wrong.

yeonjun grabbed your wrist and pulled you close to the stage. when he tried to pull you right up against the barricade, you pulled away from him and he sighed. the two of you settled close to the stage, but not so close that you’d be touching noses with beomgyu. a compromise.

the lights had dimmed and the crowd had filed in until it was jam packed in the arena. your heart couldn’t help but swell with pride. he did it, he really did. he achieved the one thing he wanted the most, and you couldn’t be prouder of him for it.

the band came on stage and the crowd erupted with cheers and screams from all around you. you looked over to yeonjun, who was cheering along with them. you laughed, the sound being covered, but still there nonetheless. everything only got louder when beomgyu stepped onto the stage. you swear the girl next to you almost passed out.

when you saw him, the spotlight illuminating him—making him look like all of the stars in the sky, it was as if it was only the two of you in the room. the crowd of people around you faded and your breath hitched when he started to look over the crowd with a big warm smile. your face heated and you looked away, hiding so he wouldn’t see you. it’s been a while since you’ve done that.

what were you doing here? what was yeonjun thinking? that he would see you in the crowd and everything would fall into place? that he would call your name and the crowd would part as you made your way to the stage? that he’d take your hand and kiss you in front of everyone, in front of the whole world to see? what a stupid thought.

you wanted to leave but you were trapped from all sides. beomgyu sat on the chair that was placed in the center of the stage, his one and only guitar on his knee that you’ve become so accustomed to. “how is everyone doing tonight? well, i hope!” he said, strumming the strings of his guitar lightly. the crowd erupted again, words barely audible.

shaking your head, you grabbed yeonjun’s arm. “i can't do this, yeonjun. i want to go home.” he turned to you with furrowed eyebrows of worry. the girl next to you gave you an ear to ear smile, “i know right? isn’t he just so dreamy!” in turn, you gave her a barely disguised grimace and turned back to yeonjun. yeonjun laughed at your reaction, “get over it! let him sing to you! we’re staying.” he turned back to the stage and you realized that beomgyu had already began playing a song.

not just any song, the song that he wrote for you. he was singing ‘graze.’ yeonjun smirked at you and you’ve realized you’ve fallen into his trap. vaguely, you remembered that beomgyu always started out his shows with the song he had written for you. you wanted to use his guitar to bash your head in.

“her hair glowed in the sunlight as she grazed past me; like a leaf on a tree branch of a tree i’ll never see. over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss. when the darkness seals me in it’s cold maze, she sends me her remembrances in the form of a kiss,” beomgyu sang softly to the tune of his guitar. the live band behind him made the song more layered, in a way you haven’t heard since you’ve first heard the finished song.

“under newborn stars, we bear witness, we watched it all begin. i feel the heat of mars, my worn guitar, like her fingers against my skin,” beomgyu continued the song, the crowd singing along with him. you felt glassy tears in your eyes, threatening to fall. you couldn’t open your mouth to sing, not after all of the circumstances, so your heart sang for you. it was quiet, left only for the empty cathedrals of your ribs to echo back to you.

once he stopped singing, the music continued for a moment, letting everyone take in the song. beomgyu closed his eyes against the bright lights, his hands resting on the edge of his guitar. just as the song ended he opened them, an emotion you couldn’t quite make out in his eyes.

“now, for this next one, it took me a long time to write. two years in fact,” beomgyu spoke as he looked around at the crowd, a slight laugh in his tone. his eyes had just missed yours on his journey and you reeled back slightly in shock, looking up at him with wide eyes. “i just couldn’t seem to find the words to the feelings i wanted to convey. but luckily for you all, i managed to find them,” beomgyu smiled as he adjusted his guitar. “this one’s called ‘tattoos on strangers.’”

those words sounded strangely familiar. out of the corner of your eye, you saw yeonjun look over at you as the crowd cheered. you couldn’t even move to look back at him, to ask why he was staring. you were entirely focused on beomgyu. on the way he looked around the crowd with twinkling love in his eyes. the way he fiddled with his guitar like he was antsy to let the music flow out of him. it entranced you, dazzled you, entrapped you.

beomgyu inhaled sharply, the sound catching in the mic in front of him, as he strummed the chords of one of his songs you’ve never heard before. “we’re two moths to a burning flame; they call us icarus. now all that’s left between our bodies is the sinking bitterness. our eyes are on the sky, the lies we tell each other are to blame.” you gasped at how heavenly he sounded. at the melodic symphonies he was creating. at how familiar yet so unfamiliar the song sounded to you.

there was a beat as the live band picked up volume. “we’re waltzing together, we’ve gone too far. but we can’t help ourselves, we’re sinful, we’re brand new burning stars. gravity is starting to pull us closer and closer, you say it’s starting to lead to our demise. but don’t worry, baby, our silence—the heaviness between us, will be the disguise,” beomgyu continued. his eyes were squeezed shut as he sang. it made you wonder who he intended the song to be for if he was reacting this way.

“there’s no need to apologize, we’ve witnessed this before, i know your true name. like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain. too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind. don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time,” beomgyu sang as the song came to an end. suddenly it was as if a light switch lit up the dark room in your brain, a certain lyric ringing bells inside.

“too powerful to overtake, oh, you’ve grown all over my mind,” you understood why the song sounded familiar to you. it was the song beomgyu was working on right before the two of you stopped being bestfriends. another thought hit you so hard that you stumbled back into the person behind you and yeonjun gave you another worried look. you stared back at him, eyes wide open.

two lyrics stood out to you, “like the ink of a tattoo, you linger, you graze the recesses of my brain,” and “don’t delete the kisses at the end, just kiss me instead—just this one time.” you turned to look back up at beomgyu, just as he started singing another song. his eyes were traveling the crowd and at that moment, his eyes connected with yours. they widened and he started to blink rapidly for a second, like he couldn’t believe that you were looking at him.

at the same time, both of your eyes traveled to yeonjun, who in turn gave a sheepish smile. he set the two of you up. desperately you wanted to leave, but yeonjun’s hand around your wrist and the crowd wouldn’t let you.

‘graze’, you knew for a fact was for you, but ‘tattoos on strangers’? there was no denying that he wrote the song about you, down to the referencing lyrics. down to the “don’t delete the kisses at the end.” oh god, you thought, oh god. this whole time… this whole time, he was singing about you. he was singing about you when you thought he was singing about someone else and you ruined it. you ruined everything.

suddenly, it was getting hard to breathe with everyone around you and with beomgyu’s eyes on you. he tried hard to make it look like he wasn’t singling you out, but every couple seconds his eyes would lock on you again. you had no choice but to sit and endure. endure his stare, the slight wildness in his look. endure all the songs from his debut album that you never heard; all of which were about you. all of them. endure the way his heart called out to yours, echoing through his songs, and the way yours called back.

your eyes connect once more—just for the briefest of moments—before you looked away, shyness taking over. your face—no, your whole body—felt like it was on fire. just like a brand new burning star. you felt like all eyes were on you, when in reality all eyes were on him.

finally, you looked up again as he announced the last song in the setlist—‘forethought.’ your eyes meet just as he sings, his eyes only on you, “oh, i hear her voice in the wind sometimes. has she given me any thought? i go back to the pastimes—like wind chimes, it’s not all for naught. my wet knees in the winter, it’s my hopeful crime, it’s my savior... it’s my desperate prayer, i scream out her name into the dying nature—it leads me out the maze so i’m with her. it’s a stranded forethought.” you feel tears well up into your eyes and you see tears well up in beomgyu’s too, hidden by the bright lights to the crowd, but not to you. never to you.

after a moment, he repeats with eyes closed in a silent plea, “don’t linger, don’t linger, light bringer, don’t linger. stay with me—send me your remembrances. please, don’t delete those kisses. don’t linger, light bringer. don’t linger.” the tears fall freely from your eyes at the way his voice softly echoes. echoes just like wind chimes in the blowing wind. you feel yeonjun pull you into a hug as a sob escapes your lips.

you don’t register the concert ending, the crowd getting smaller and smaller until there’s only a few stragglers. you move numbly as yeonjun pulls you along behind him. it’s not until you hear a familiar voice, beomgyu’s voice, that you suddenly come back to life.

yeonjun has taken you backstage. the two of you were making your way over to where beomgyu was standing, talking to someone you didn’t recognize, as he packed up his guitar. again, your eyes met, and you pulled your wrist from yeonjun’s grasp. you turned, wild eyes scanning for an exit as your feet moved without needing your input. “y/n, wait!” you heard voices from behind you. you kept going, the fear pushing you forwards faster.

it wasn’t until you were in front of the night bus, voices behind you as you pushed whatever money you had into the bus driver's hands, that you finally felt like you could breathe. the doors closed and the bus began moving as beomgyu and yeonjun ran up waving frantically. the bus kept moving. you looked through the window, terrified wide eyes reflecting back to you in the glass, at their fading figures. at beomgyu’s dejected eyes and yeonjun’s sorrowful ones. at the breaking of your heart, once again.

sighing heavily to yourself, you faced the front of the bus. what has gotten into you? why would you let yourself think that beomgyu would wait for you after these two long years? it was clear to you that what happened at that concert was a goodbye. and maybe you were okay with that. maybe you didn’t mind. you wiped the tears from your cheeks. it’s okay, you’ve always worked better on your own anyways. without the constant tingling of growing feelings, without the heavy stares that hold so much, without the newborn stars—without beomgyu.

when you get home, you waste no time with the alcohol you have. turning your phone off, locking all your doors and shutting all the curtains. you lay on your bed, drunk out of your mind looking up at the ceiling as you think, what if love’s not meant for me?

five days ago, you went to your ex-bestfriend’s concert and listened as he poured his heart out onto the stage for you; while you ran away from him like the echo of a wind chime in the wind.

beomgyu has taken over your mind. has soared through the mountains of your thoughts and settled gently in the valleys of your desires. lingered in the lakes and puddles and the big vast ocean of your memories. all you’ve been thinking about since the concert was him. he’s completely consumed you.

you had scrolled up and down your messages together, laughing at old jokes and shedding tears at old memories. retelling the jokes he made to yourself and pretending that they were yours to begin with as a permanent smile etched itself onto your features.

maybe this all was a sign. a sign that you should stop hiding in the four walls of your bedroom. a sign that you should find some way to contact beomgyu, rekindle the friendship you once used to have and maybe fan the flames of something greater. you wanted to scream from the rooftops about how much you loved beomgyu. tell the whole world about how he makes you feel and every little thing he does that just fills you with so much warmth.

you were scrolling through the photo album you still had of the two of you. at your silly faces and candid moments. you couldn’t wipe the smile from your face if you wanted to. you felt like a teenage girl, giggling softly as she wrote her crushes name in hearts all over her notebooks. wide smile as she wrote in her diary about how much her crush rocked her world. you didn’t care, you couldn’t help it. beomgyu did—he really did—make you feel this way. he’s turned your whole world upside down.

electricity flowed through you until you were so antsy and electric that you just had to do something before it drove you insane. you needed to tell beomgyu, to let whatever was between the two of you happen. needed to have him around you again after these two long years, even if just briefly. god, you felt like such a romantic cliché, but you felt alive.

opening your phone, you finally replied to all of the messages that yeonjun had sent you. they spanned from worried to disappointed to a resigned sadness. you only sent him one message in response:

you: is he still here?

you held your breath, mentally smacking yourself for not looking up beomgyu’s tour dates beforehand. mentally smacking yourself for not garnering the courage earlier. how stupid you were. your phone dinged from yeonjun’s reply:

jjunie: party tonight at 11:30pm. i’ll pick you up around 11. be ready.

breathing out a sigh of relief you looked at the clock. it was already 10pm. you raided your closet for your best looking outfit, throwing it on as you ran to your bathroom to put makeup on. you wanted to look your absolute best.

11pm couldn’t come fast enough. you were waiting by the door when yeonjun had knocked, him barely getting his second knock in before you flung the door wide open. “is it too late?” you asked him desperately, standing limply in the doorframe. yeonjun just chuckled at you and grabbed your wrist, leading you to his car, “never. not for the two of you.”

on the way over, yeonjun told you how the party was thrown by some big celebrity you never heard of and how beomgyu got the two of you invites. it was for such a good start on his sold out tour and debut album. “like, everyone is gonna be there,” yeonjun said to you as he drove around to find a parking space.

once you found somewhere to park, you and yeonjun made your way to the venue where the party was being held. you passed through all kinds of security until you were faced with blasting music in your ears and bodies dancing everywhere. holding tightly onto yeonjun to not get lost, the two of you scanned the crowd.

“do you want to get a drink?” yeonjun yelled over the music to you. you nodded and he led you through the crowd to where the bar was. the two of you got something and drank them silently by the bar. you felt bad for keeping yeonjun tied to you, so you yelled over the music to him, “you can go and mingle! i’ll be fine over here by myself!” he leaned towards you, furrowing his brows. “are you sure?” he asked and you nodded.

yeonjun made his way through the crowd, turning his charm on as he talked to various people. you stayed at the bar, sipping on various drinks until you felt very tipsy. your eyes scanned the crowd, looking for beomgyu, every minute or so.

that’s when you saw him. he was across the room, holding a glass of something and talking to a group of people, when his eyes drifted and just happened to meet yours. beomgyu rendered you completely speechless. you got a good look at him, not being able to do so that well from his place on the stage, and took in how much he’s changed in the past two years.

beomgyu’s short brown hair was now dark, tinged blue in the low scattered overhead lights. the back of it touched the nape of his neck and the front fell over his eyes and ears. he looked absolutely beautiful, even more beautiful than you remember him being. his eyes widened at seeing you, making the natural liner of his eyes stand out.

suddenly, just like at the concert, it felt like it was only the two of you in the room. his eyes widened at seeing you again, his mouth opening slightly. without knowing it, the two of you gravitated towards each other. then you were face to face, standing in front of each other in the flesh. you couldn’t believe it.

you both said each other’s names at the same time, letting out a nervous laugh after. he motioned for you to continue and you swallowed hard. you were thankful that you were tipsy, that the alcohol was smoothing your nerves, because you definitely wouldn’t be standing in front of beomgyu right now if you weren’t.

“beomie…” you trailed before correcting yourself, you didn’t want to pretend to know him like you use to after two years. “beomgyu… there’s no excuse. no apology even sincere enough—“ beomgyu had cut you off, “y/nie, you don’t have to apologize.”

you shook your head. you knew that you didn’t, that he had already forgiven you and moved past it. hell, he wrote a song about it. but you had to. you had to apologize in at least some way. “no, i do,” you stated. “i shouldn’t have let us drift away, shouldn’t have let us become strangers. i shouldn’t have pushed you away. you were my bestfriend and i was scared. i like you so much, so much that you enveloped me completely. my mind, my book, my life… everything.”

you inhaled deeply, looking longingly into beomgyu’s eyes like you had wanted to do now for so long. “all i thought about was you. all i think about is you. and i miss you. i missed you so much, beomgyu. i love you. i’ve always loved you—“ beomgyu sat his glass on the nearby table as you spoke, then cupped your face gently with both of his hands and collided his lips to yours in a passionate kiss to cut you off. it told you everything he was feeling, everything he’s felt for you for who knows how long now. you felt his song lyrics on your lips. felt how every last lyric was written for you, every melody. every atom of your being colliding with every atom of his and creating a beautiful newborn star.

when he pulled away, he pulled you into a desperate and tight hug. he held you so tight it was as if he thought you were a bird that would fly away. you couldn’t blame him, you kind of were. “i don’t think i need to tell you how much i love you, but i will. i’ll sing it in your ear softly and scream it at the top of my lungs for all the stars to witness, y/n. i love you,” beomgyu murmured into the crook of your neck.

you took his hand and led him out the venue. when you suddenly remembered that yeonjun took you here, beomgyu chuckled as he took you to his car. in the warm glow of your city at night, you pointed to various street signs and turns as beomgyu drove to your apartment.

inside your apartment, the two of you couldn’t keep your mouths off each other. the wanting—the need—lifting you up to cloud nine and making you dizzy. when you both somehow got to your bedroom, you were breathless and hot to the touch.

beomgyu had pulled away from you. “is this okay?” he asked, looking into your eyes. you saw the desire inside of them. you nodded, “yes, just please don’t stop kissing me.” and he obliged, his lips on yours again.

one by one, articles of clothing came off. there was brief awkwardness, the hem of your dress getting caught on the earrings you were wearing and the button of his pants refusing to come undone. it all was alright in the end when the two of you were laying on your bed, you only in your bra and panties and him only in his boxers, his huge bulge pressing into your thigh as he hovered above you.

you were growing needy, the alcohol edging you onwards. “beomgyu… i need you inside me,” you whimpered against his mouth as his hard boner rubbed against you. he hummed, lips moving to your neck, causing you to moan. “i need you to fuck me…” you breathed out. beomgyu pulled away with the slightest upturn of his lips.

he sat you up so that you were now straddling his lap as he reached behind you and unclasped your bra. “next time…” beomgyu murmured. “next time i’ll fuck you. but not tonight. tonight… we stop being strangers.” you shivered slightly at your already hardened nipples being exposed to the cool air. shivering more when beomgyu’s wet tongue circled them.

“is that okay?” beomgyu asked, staring into your eyes as he waited for your response. you nodded, unintentionally grinding against him, and moaned out, “yes.” his fingers had gripped your bare waist at the contact and his eyes shut tightly for a brief moment. “next time… i promise you. let me get to know your body again.”

and get to know your body, he did. beomgyu laid you back down gently and then pulled off your panties slowly while staring down at you, eyes caressing every inch of you. you felt yourself getting wetter by the second, gripping the blankets to keep yourself from pulling him to you.

beomgyu pressed his lips to yours once more as he spread your legs apart. he pressed open mouthed kisses to your skin as he moved farther and farther down your body, looking up at you the entire time. you jolted slightly when he pressed kisses to the inside of your thighs. “you’re so breathtaking, even more than before,” beomgyu spoke, trailing kisses up to your knee. he paused for a second, “i missed you so much, y/n.”

his tongue then swirled around your clit and your back arched off the bed, your hands finding their way into his pretty hair. beomgyu groaned, pulling away from your core with a wet mouth, as you pulled at it. just as quickly, he was back at it, making you moan for him as he devoured you. you creating pretty harmonies for him.

“fuck…” beomgyu said lowly. you could see how hard his cock was in his boxers and it made you need him even more. he then pushed two fingers into you, them slipping in easily with how wet you were for him. beomgyu pulled you up from the bed as he continued pushing his fingers in and out of you, tipping your head back and capturing your lips in a sweet and slow kiss. your tongues danced together, waltz together as you clenched around his fingers.

pulling away, you buried your face in his neck as you whimpered his name. “cum for me, baby,” beomgyu said in your ear softly. you didn’t need to be told twice, your warm release spreading all over his fingers.

you wrapped your arms around his neck, “i-i need you, please… your—your fingers aren’t e-enough.” beomgyu chuckled as he nodded. you released your hold on him so he could take off his boxes, his long and hard cock on full display for you. you used to dream of moments like these.

beomgyu looked at you, asking silently if you were ready. in response, you shakily got to your knees. he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly, you slid down onto him. the both of you gasped at the feeling, moans joining together in a beautiful song as you moved up and down on his cock.

you were giving each other sloppy and needy kisses, beomgyu wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer as he thrusted up into your pussy. you gasped against his lips, your hands laying to rest against his chest. he whimpered as he continued thrusting, “you feel so—so good. so good, baby. do you f-feel good?”

“y—oh… it feels s-so good,” you managed out. you could feel the knot in your stomach tighten with each thrust he pushed into you. with the feeling of his veiny shaft inside you, sending electric currents throughout your body. the feeling of his lips on yours. moaning, you pulled away and rested your forehead on beomgyu’s. “i’m gonna c-cum again, gyu.”

he moved you so your back was against the bed again, your legs wrapped around his waist and his cock still deep inside you. groaning at the new angle, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him to you. “let me help you, baby. l-let me do the work,” beomgyu mumbled before you kissed him.

in passionate thrusts, you came around him again and a few seconds later you felt his warm cum pour inside of you. his hips jerked against yours and he let out a whine as he rolled into you, not planning on slowing down. “b-beomgyu…” you whimpered, gripping him tighter and throwing your head back so you were staring hazily at the ceiling. you didn’t know how much more you could take.

“l-look at me, my pretty baby, i n-need to see your face,” beomgyu said between hard pants. between the sounds of your skin slapping together and the wet sounds of him entering and exiting you repeatedly. you looked at him through knitted brows, your fingers in his hair and pulling his head back. “f-fuck… god, you d-don’t know what you d-do to me,” he murmured, eyes shutting for a moment. you pulled him down to kiss his jaw. “feels… feels so…” you couldn’t even finish your sentence as you clenched around him again.

beomgyu was twitching inside you more and more and you could tell he was overstimulating himself just to make you feel good. his words of praise were being slurred as he stared deeply into your eyes, breathing erratically.

when the two had came together, you couldn’t take anymore. your legs were shaking badly and your back was beginning to ache from how much you kept arching it. pushing beomgyu away until he was hovering above you, you barely managed to whimper out in a whisper, “c-can’t take it a-anymore, beomie…”

at your words he slipped out of you slowly, groaning loudly as you clenched tightly around his poor cock the whole way out. “y/n…” beomgyu moaned. he hovered above you for a moment, forehead pressed to yours and arms trembling, before falling down next to you. beomgyu pulled you towards him until you were wrapped in his body. you tried not to think about how his still half hard cock was up against your sensitive pussy. his breath fanning your skin and sending a shiver up your spine.

the two of you stayed like that for a couple minutes, coming down from your highs and breathing the same air. beomgyu had been trailing lines down your torso with the tips of his fingers, leaving goosebumps in his wake. you could feel his smile against your cheek at the way your body reacted to his touch.

when you both were strong enough to get up, he cleaned the cum from between your legs and his with a warm and wet towel and then guided you to the bathroom. beomgyu drew a bubble bath for the both of you, helping you inside of it when your legs began to shake and your knees almost gave out.

now you laid back against his chest inside the bathtub, one of his hands trailing up and down your arm with a washcloth and the other wrapped tightly against your lower stomach. “you don’t know how long i’ve wanted this…” beomgyu trailed off softly. you turned slightly so you could look up at him. “you don’t know how long i wanted this either. how long i wanted to be with you in general.”

beomgyu smiled warmly down at you, that same warm smile he would give you every time you sang together. “how long?” he asked, playfulness slipping into his tone. “for as long as i can remember,” you giggled. “for as long as i’ve known you.” he pressed a kiss to your temple, the action sending ripples to your heart. “i’ve wanted it for longer,” he replied, laughing when you playfully scoffed up at him. “this isn’t our first life together.”

that sentiment made you turn in the tub to face him fully, your eyebrows knitting together and your eyes full of fondness. it almost brought tears to your eyes. “beomgyu…” you murmured as you cupped his face softly and brought your lips to his. you kissed him slowly, trying to show him how much you loved him through it. your actions and words alone will never be able to fully express how you feel for him.

after the two of you cleaned up more in the bath, you laid side by side in your bed. thankfully, you still had some of beomgyu’s clothes that you just couldn’t get rid of from when you still lived together and you would steal them. you were in one of beomgyu’s old shirts now, body up against his in the darkness of your bedroom.

“i’m gonna miss you when you leave to go back on tour. i don’t want you to leave,” you whispered softly into the darkness. you weren’t very good at expressing your fears out loud, clearly. but you had to let him know. had to let him know that you didn’t want this to be just a one time thing and you never see each other again. “so come with me,” beomgyu replied at your same tone, simply. “come with me and we won’t have to miss each other.”

you couldn’t help but think of the lyrics of the song he wrote for you, the one the two of you would sing together. “over the canopy, it’s each other that we always seem to miss.” he was right about ‘graze’ having a whole new meaning in his interview. first, it meant the longing between the two of you. always dancing around each other, fingertips always seeming to just brush up against the other’s but never fully grasping. then, it meant the two of you drifting apart. missing the opportunity to admit your feelings and be together. and lastly, right now. right in this moment, the two of you together again after two long years. missing each other until your heart aches even though you’re right next to each other. it is funny how meanings change.

“okay,” you giggled softly. “i’ll come with you.” you weren’t going to linger. he was right, this wasn’t your first life together, you could feel it. you were gonna stay with him forever. beomgyu pulled you closer, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck.

last night, your world was turned back on it’s rightful axis as you and your bestfriend beomgyu—your lover beomgyu, sealed the two of your souls together.

that morning you both had woken up to a ton of missed calls and a plethora of text messages. you both stared at each other with wide eyes after realizing that the two of you had basically silently walked out of the celebration that was held for beomgyu. yeonjun scolding the two of you when he realized that not only was beomgyu not at his own party, but that you weren’t there either.

quick kisses and giggles were shared as beomgyu raced to get ready for the schedule he had to do today. “text me, okay? i want to hear from you. i’ll let you know when we’re leaving for the next stop, so get your bags ready,” beomgyu said, throwing his coat on and pressing another kiss to your lips, deepening the kiss for just a moment before he pulled away.

you were standing by the door, a lovesick smile on your face, “i will!” you giggled as he stalled more and pulled you into a hug. “and don’t delete the kisses,” he whispered, kissing your cheek before finally making his way through the door. you waved goodbye to him and shut the door, immediately pulling out your phone.

you: i’ll see you later today. good luck on your interview! xxx

there was an immediate response from him and you giggled as you read it and responded.

beomie: thank you, baby! i love you!! you: i love you more!! xxx beomie: i love you more than there are stars in the sky!!! you: and i love you more than there are galaxies in our universe!!!! xxx beomie: okay… you win… but only because i can’t think of anything better!!!

laughing, you went to your room and started packing the things you needed for beomgyu’s tour.

two years ago—four since the beginning—you left the kisses at the end of your messages to your boyfriend beomgyu.

you were backstage just before one of his shows with him and yeonjun. beomgyu’s arm was wrapped around your waist, pulling you into his side. your mouth was currently hung open in shock at yeonjun’s revealing news.

“i’m sorry, y/nie, but i just had to tell him. two years i had to listen to the both of you cry over each other—two years! i couldn’t do it anymore. i had to tell him about the things you were saying!” yeonjun sighed dramatically as if he were so defeated. you pushed his shoulder lightly, “you ass! then you had the nerve to set the two of us up at beomgyu’s concert with the tickets he gave you!”

beomgyu let out a laugh from next to you, laughing louder when you turned a playful glare to him. “if i didn’t…” yeonjun trailed as he spoke to you with raised eyebrows, “you two wouldn’t be together right now. now would you?” you rolled your eyes at him, wrapping your arms around beomgyu and laying your head on his chest.

“i’d like to think we would find our way back together,” beomgyu spoke, looking down at you. you smiled up at him in return. “uh huh…” said yeonjun, causing the three of you to erupt into laughter.

since beomgyu’s debut album and tour to go along with it, he’s released two more albums. all of the songs about you, once again. in every interview he had, he gushed about you to whoever would listen. you’ve also finally published your book, deciding to let beomgyu’s essence flow through the entirety of it. you couldn’t remove him even if you tried. and trust, you had tried.

one of the staff members gave a signal to beomgyu and he nodded back and gave a thumbs up. it was almost time for him to be on stage. for the first time ever, you were singing ‘graze’ and ‘forethought’ together with their whole new meanings.

you stared at beomgyu’s stunning side profile as he peeked out to the crowd. you almost laughed at yourself, at your past thoughts. of course love was meant for you. of course you and beomgyu were meant to be together, meant to be in love. meant to share each of your lifetimes and universes and supernovas and nebulas and brand new brightly burning newborn stars together.

of course the two of you were meant to love each other forever, how could you ever think differently?

© jjunieworld - all rights reserved. please do not repost on any social media sites, translate, or modify any of my works.

permanent taglist: @jjunberry @gothgyuu @spooksh0wbabe @beargyuuzz @kittyhyuka @dani-is-tired @soobieboobiedoobiedaboobie @rapmonie2047 @riaawr

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[brossession-collection]

Dad's Cam Show (Re-uploaded)

Note: This is a story I wrote in 2020 that was previously deleted by Tumblr. Couldn't find it until I stumbled upon am old hard drive. Hope you enjoy.

--

This social distancing shit is so boring. I get it. It’s needed. But god damn am I running out of things to do. Can’t even meet the guys I’ve been talking to on Grindr. Worse yet is that I’m stuck back at home. I was supposed to graduate college this year! Instead I was slumped over a computer screen in my PJs with my dad making his special pancakes. Ugh. Fuck this shit. I just wish I could go back to a better time.

Whatever. I’m done complaining. Dad’s getting groceries which means I can snoop around his shit. Yeah I’m that bored.

Dad’s a big burly guy. Heading into his mid-forties now and starting to gray up a little, but still keeping his body builder life style. He’s pretty open with me. He told me he used to do cam shows back before livestreams were even a thing. Made sense. Had to show off the bod somehow. Don’t know how mom thought about it but whatever. She’s out of the picture.

His room always had a musky woodsy cologne-y smell. His laundry hamper was even better. I always loved taking his briefs out of there and putting them on myself. I’ve been following his footsteps and bodybuilding myself, but I’m still a ways away before I have an ass and waist as large as his. So his 36in undies droop a bit. I grabbed his black cap too. Man. He loves this thing. Well, plus the 10 others caps he has. He always had it topping his head. Pretty sure he wears it to sleep too. I put it on and flexed like him. I got a bit of a boner but nothing crazy.

His dinosaur of a laptop was open, and logged in. I know I shouldn’t have, but I did it anyways. There were so many folders within folders. So much boring shit… and then I found “cam pics.”

The briefs I was wearing tented and wetted. Fuck I was so scared to open it. But I clicked it and… In there was only one image. I clicked on it to make it bigger and it was my dad. About 13 years ago. He was shirtless, and wearing the same cap that I have on my head right now. My eyes drifted from his hairy arms to his chest to eventually his bearded face. He looked so… tired? There was something about the softness in his expression that really got to me. And then…

“Hey son! I’m home! Could ya help me with the groceries?”

Shit. I got up and scrambled. The briefs were soaked and still being soaked. I had so many windows to close out of. Then I started hearing his footsteps come closer. I panicked and grabbed the top of the laptop to close it, but I couldn’t move. Suddenly, all the windows on the screen started to close. All except for the image of dad I had opened it. It enlarged by itself, and then the laptop started to fucking shake. I tried to get it to stop but it just kept rumbling. Fuck it. I wound up my fist and punched the screen. But there was no impact.

In less than a second my body followed my wrist into the screen. Everything went bright, and I was in a different room. I looked around. It looked like my parents’ room at our old house. The same laptop was in front of me showing the same image as before. Dad’s younger face looking back… And then I saw his eyes move. I froze. I looked at the time. 12:56 turned to 12:57. This wasn’t an image. It was a fucking livestream.

I slowly tilted my head. Dad did the same. I widened my eyes. So did dad. A smile crept over our faces. I just time travelled! And into dad’s body! Fuck there was so much I could do now!

“PING”

A old-school AIM notification popped up on screen. I maneuvered dad’s hand to the mouse and clicked on it. “Hey daddy. You gonna give us a show or what?”

“PING”

“Let’s see those hairy pits man!”

Fuck. I guess dad wasn’t kidding about these cam shows. Shit how do I reply? Do I just say something?

“Uh…” I gulped. Dad’s gruff voice was in my throat. “You guys mean… uh… this?” I lifted and flexed dad’s right arm. Immediately his armpit hair bursted out. Moist and smelly. My nose naturally turned towards the sweaty pit. Holy fuck was it musky. I took a deep whiff and groaned.

“PING. PING. PING. PING.”

“Fuck yeah daddy. Sniff that pit.”

“God damn you’re a big guy. How’s it feel huh?”

It felt amazing being so big. Watching everything I was doing be reflected by my dad on the recording was even better. The cockiness came in.

I wheeled the office chair back and did a double bicep pose. Sweat dripped off his hairy pits. I gave my face a rub and felt his beard scratch against his callused fingers. Then my hands felt the need to go down to his chest. I never felt so much pleasure from nipple rubbing in my life. The pings kept on coming. It was euphoric.

Dad’s cock was tenting the briefs I had put on earlier. I uncaged his 7 incher and let out a whiff of junk musk that filtered into my nose immediately. I started stroking and couldn’t stop. My other hand reached under dad’s taint, through the forest of pubes, and rammed a dildo into my dad’s ass crack.

“PING. PING. PING.”

“Holy fuck this is new! We gonna see a fingering show today!?”

“God damn man you enjoying yourself?”

I was. Everytime Dad’s moans left my throat I felt cock twitch a little bit harder. It just felt so amazing to feel his beefy arms rub against his beefy chest. His toes curling with every electric shock of pleasure moving through his beefy ass and legs.

I shot his load. Let out a gutteral yell. And it didn’t stop coming. My beard was soaked with three shots of cum. Chest was drenched with eight more. At this point, sweat was trickling down my temples. I relished in dad’s orgasm and then relaxed in the chair.

I watched as the notifications went crazy. Dad’s soft eyes housing my consciousness. Ugh. It felt incredible. I glanced over at his hat and felt the need to take it off. I did, and felt a wave of cool relief come off my head. Dad’s hair was cropped short, like a messy crew cut. And it was dripping with sweat. I felt the need to say something.“You like that, men?” Dad had so much suave in voice. The pings accelerated.I smiled and played with my cock. I could feel another round coming but felt a bigger presence unfold. Suddenly dad’s body started to shake. I tried controlling it, but I couldn’t weigh him down. My arms were flailing before my hands grabbed onto the edges of the desk. I whipped my head back, then head-butted the laptop screen. Light filtered through.

I was back at home, in my dad’s loose fitting briefs, his cap nestled on my head. Dad’s footsteps came by, then turned another direction. Guess he wasn’t coming by his room just yet. I looked down at his briefs, now soaked with my cum. Fuck. Was it just a dream?

It must’ve been. Just a fucking horny fever dream. What the fuck ever. Better than what I had been doing up until now. I leaned over to close the laptop but noticed something.

The image had turned into a recording.

[mingoooossii]

Love.

Yunho x reader

Synopsis: so reader gets shit from work and stuff happens and they make up.

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, insecurities, fear of abandonment(?),self-hatred(kind of). fluff at the end and some kisses. Might be a Lil awkward since I can't do emotions. Also it's long, idk how many words but it's long. Typos maybe?

"Babe!"

The soft glow of the television flickered across the room as Yunho entered.

"Have you seen my hoodie? The grey on-"

But his question died in his throat as his gaze landed on his partner.

You sat huddled on the couch, the phone pressed tightly to your ear, brow furrowed in a picture of distress. Yunho's smile faded, concern gnawing at him.

He stepped closer, his voice soft. "Everything okay?"

You flinched at the sound of his voice, quickly ending the call. You took a deep breath, trying to mask your distress with a weak smile. "Yeah, just work stuff." you mumbled, avoiding his eyes.

Yunho wasn't convinced. He knew you better than that. Your "work stuff" rarely left you this visibly shaken. He sat beside you his hand hovering over yours, offering silent support.

"What happened?" He asked, his voice laced with concern.

You hesitated, then sighed, your shoulders slumping in defeat. "They called," you said, voice barely above a whisper. "About the project."

Yunho's stomach clenched. He remembered how much time and effort you had poured into your current project, how excited you were about it. His mind raced with possibilities, none of them pleasant.

"It's gone." you said, voice cracking. "Deleted. Apparently, a system glitch. And now I how to redo it in 3 days."

Anger sparked within Yunho. "That's ridiculous! It's not your fault, and expecting you to pull that off in that time…"

His words were cut short by a sharp look from you. "Don't." you snapped, your voice thick with unshed tears. "You wouldn't understand."

Yunho recoiled, his heart sinking. "What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" His tone softened, replaced by confusion.

Tears streamed down your face. "You're good at everything, Yunho." you whispered, voice laced with self-hatred. "You're talented, it's all natural to you. I'm not like that i..." You paused, wiping your tears away desperately.

"I'm not talented like you and... this is the one thing that I'm good at and...if I can't even do that, then what good am i?" You sobbed, wiping your face, frustrated at the non-stopping tears, breaking his heart further.

Your words hit him like a physical blow. He had never realized how you perceived him, or how it made you feel. The truth was, he admired your dedication, your resilience, the sheer amount of effort you poured into everything you did.

"That's not true..." Yunho started, a hint of desperation as he reached out to you. "You're wrong. You're much more than you think you-"

"I don't need you to appease me." You cut him off with a bitter tone, picking up your laptop. "Yunho, leave me alone." You looked away from him, reserving yourself to the office room. He watched as the door shut close with a sickening thud, resonating with his heartbeat.

Three days crawled by, each tick of the clock echoing the growing distance between them. You were a whirlwind of activity, fueled by adrenaline and exhaustion. Your eyes, once bright with passion, were now shadowed with determination, bordering on desperation. Meals were quick, silent affairs, your focus solely on the screen illuminating you.

The frustration gnawed at him, but he knew pushing wouldn't help. This was your battle, and you had to fight it your way. Instead, he chose to show his support in quieter ways.

He stocked the fridge with your favorite snacks, left a fresh mug of tea outside your door, and even attempted to fold a few stray shirts (with predictably disastrous results).

He knew deep down that you weren't shutting him out, you were shutting yourself in. All he could do was be the ground beneath your feet, a constant presence even when you couldn't see him.

'i did it...i actually did it!' Three days. After 72 excruciatingly long hours, you finally did it. You finally pushed back from your desk, your eyes stinging from exhaustion but a flicker of triumph lighting them. The project was done.

But the elation was short-lived, choked by the hollowness that echoed within you. Guilt, suffocating and heavy, settled on your chest. The memory of your cold words, the slammed doors, the silent treatment you had inflicted on him all came rushing back. Shame burned your cheeks. In your single-minded pursuit of finishing the project, you had pushed away the very person who loved and supported you the most.

With trembling legs, you walked towards the living room, your voice thick with fear and regret. "Yunho?" You called out, voice barely a whisper. Silence. You tried again, louder this time, voice laced with desperation. Still nothing.

He usually came back from the company at this time except for...today.

Then he left...you?

Panic clawed at your throat at the thought. Tears streamed down your face, carving hot tracks on your cold cheeks. You sank to your knees, the weight of your actions crushing your spirit.

'He finally had enough of your selfishness and left you..' Your mind spun, conjuring scenarios, each bleaker than the last. You sobbed into your hands, not noticing the door opening.

Yunho stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind him. The grocery shopping took longer than he thought. He hummed a low tune as he walked into the living room, freezing when he spotted you, on the floor.

Panic settled within him at the racking sobs that escaped you. Dropping the bags, he was instantly by your side, cradling you into his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Startled, you whirled around expecting the worst but instead, you found his concerned eyes.

Relief washed over you, a tidal wave threatening to drown you. But before you could speak, Yunho's face crumpled with worry, holding your face gently. "Honey, What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

His concern, so genuine and unwavering, broke the dam of your emotions. You collapsed into his arms, the sobs returning with renewed intensity. All the guilt, the fear, the shame poured out in a torrent of broken words. "I thought you left me..."

"Why would I leave you?" He asked, voice gently but you could see the confusion in his eyes.

''I thought you got sick of me and left." You sobbed, your voice barely a whisper. I'm so sorry for being so selfish and i pushed you away and I-"

Yunho cupped your face, cutting you off by pressing a kiss to your lips. He wiped away your tears with his thumbs. His gaze was soft, filled with love, so much love.

"I was worried sick, Y/n. " he admitted. "But I understand. You were going through so much, and I…" He paused, searching for the right words. "I just wanted to be there for you, but I pushed too hard. I should have listened more."

He held you tighter, his heart clenching at the fear in your embrace. "You must've panicked because I was late."

He pulled back, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there. "I just went grocery shopping to stock up. I should've told you earlier, I'm sorry, love."

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit, but all you saw was love and concern. Shame washed over you, hot and prickly. How could you have doubted him like this?

"I'm so sorry." you whispered, voice trembling. "I was awful. I shut you out, and then…my stupid thoughts…"

Yunho shook his head, cradling you close to him, his voice soft. "Don't apologize, it's not your fault. But I'm never letting you go through that again."

Yunho pulled back, gently stroking your hair, his eyes soft as he gazed at you. "But you really thought I was going to leave you? Never, you're stuck with me forever." He said, voice gentle yet firm. "You know how obsessed i am with you."

A choked laugh escaped your lips. "You're impossible." you mumbled, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

Yunho grinned, holding you close. "Maybe. But I'm your impossible, and you're mine. That'll never change."

A weak smile adorned your face. "Promise?"you whispered, voice barely a breath.

"Promise!" He chuckled, pressing another kiss to your lips. "And that's a seal! Now..."

He swept you off your feet. "Let's get you something to eat. You haven't eaten properly these days."

As he carried you to the kitchen, the tension that had coiled within you began to unwind. The weight of your insecurities and fears vanishing entirely by the warmth of his presence and the unwavering certainty of his love.

[jelicoxoxo]

TWST CHARACTERS AS CATS

Summary: Your favorite had embarrassingly made a mistake in potionology class, which ultimately resulted in them turning into a cat! They hunt you down to care for them, escaping their usual routine for the day.

Warnings: N/A. Can be seen platonic or romantic, OC friendly. No proofread cause i’ll wanna delete it. Floyd’s might be rushed

A/N: i’m EXHAUSTED oh my god.

————

(Heartslabyul) (Savanaclaw) (Octavinelle) (Scarabia) (Pomefiore) (Ignihyde) (Diasomnia)

————

Azul Ashengrotto

- The first and last(not) time he’ll ever be your study partner.

- You had accidentally put in cats fur instead of moose fur, how you mistaken the two? we’ll never know.

-He turned into a persian cat by the way, long fluffy fur.

- But he definitely made it YOUR problem. Following you around with a loud meow whenever he didn’t get the attention he wanted, sneaking INTO your bag and leaving cat fur on literally everything, and went out of his way to flick his tail under your nose while you ate your lunch.

-You practically breathed Azul that day, and there was no escape, not since now he could track you down himself with that new nose of his.

-The only time he ever left was to go check on Mostro Lounge, he is a busy man after all! But the twins brought him right back to you, claiming they couldn’t understand his chattering and meowing (they didn’t care*)

- So you where stuck with cat Azul. Stuck with this literal menace that goes out of his way to irritate you for his amusement.

-HAATTEESSS air jail and getting sprayed with water(ironically). It’s pretty much the only things that’ll get him to stop, but he’ll fuss and fuss about it.

-don’t give him catnip he’ll probably lose his shit.

-He turned back right beside you, then got up and left without a single word, to embarrassed to even say anything to you.

-will ignore you if you try to bring it up

Jade Leech

- Mischievous but less destructive.

- Literally nobody knows how it happened, nobody. But what you do know is that he showed up at your door and KICKED the bottom of the door till you answered

-you know those videos of the cats kicking with their hind legs as a way to knock? yeah thats him

- it was so loud too, like it genuinely scared you so bad you didn’t even wanna open the door.

-just for this long, tall, and lanky siamese cat to walk right in like he paid bills, looking back at you and meowing as if to ask “are you coming?” before he continued further into your space.

-He enjoys sitting on your desk, watching you continue your routine and occasionally including him in it.

-If you wear makeup, he’ll maybe let you pretend to put it on him using an old makeup brush. Will paw at your hand to get you to do it again, purring and closing his eyes for the “eyeshadow”

-such a sweetheart (when he isn’t scratching the hell outta your furniture and hiding your shoes/socks)

-Suddenly your new cat friend left, and the knock at your door was Jade as his normal self pretending that nothing had happened.

-Still pretends to have no idea what you’re talking about when you speak of the cat that never returned.

Floyd Leech

- By far the hardest to care for and watch, dare I say worse than ace.

- Floyd wasn’t really at fault for the incident, but i wont say he was completely a victim either. He was so irritated until he saw you, suddenly not so hissy anymore.

-This boy immediate went with you wherever you went, and did not care about whatever Azul had planned that day. I mean, he needs time with his favorite shrimpy doesn’t he?

- He likes to slap you if he sees you asleep or focused on anything but him.

- Also likes to sit on your laptop while you’re using it, as well as anything you’re writing on.

- Sometimes he’ll knock a glass or two off the shelves, tables, and counters. Or maybe even scratch up your sofa in a spot you’ll only ever notice weeks later.

- don’t try bathing him, he’ll despise you the rest of the day. To him, having heavy wet fur is just not enjoyable, actually he hates it(ironically x2).

-and oh you thought his mood swings would stop as a cat??? Oh no baby it gets worse

-one minute he’s rubbing his face against your arm, the next he’s turning around and biting it.

- Him turning back wasn’t really anything special, but he wasn’t to fond of his little “day off” being taken out of his paycheck

———

It is 4am I’m going back to sleep

[omgrachwrites]

Lie To Me - Chapter One

Pairing: Dalton Lambert x Reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing, teeny bit of angst, Dalton being adorable

Summary: Sparks fly when you meet a handsome boy through a horror movie forum. Fires blaze when you meet him again in college.

A/N: I loved writing this so much! I hope you guys enjoy, please let me know if you would like to be tagged and let me know what you think! I love you all! xxx

Chapter One

Your younger sister looked at you like you were crazy as you told her about the update between you and Dalton. She was momentarily dumbstruck as she stared at you as you leaned on the kitchen counter sipping your homemade cola slushy.

Beth shook her head in bewilderment, “you are fucking crazy.”

“Language, Beth,” Sara, your stepmom tutted as she walked into the kitchen weighed down with grocery bags that she placed on the counter, “now, we all know that Y/N is fucking crazy,” she grinned at you, making you laugh, “but what is she crazy for this time specifically?”

You loved Sara, she’d married your dad when you were five years old, and they had Beth a year later. She had always treated you like you were her daughter and she was great for your dad too. Beth let out an agitated breath – you were complete opposites; she was far too careful – as she looked at you before looking back at her mom.

“You know that guy Y/N has been talking to for the last couple of weeks, from the horror movie chatroom? She’s agreed to web cam with him tonight.”

“Ooh, is that Dalton?” Sara asked as she began to unpack the groceries, but before you could confirm it, Beth spoke up.

“Who has a name like Dalton?! I’ve never met anyone with that name, I bet he’s a total weirdo.”

Sara grinned at you, clearly not taking her daughter’s fears seriously, “Y/N’s practically an adult,” she directed her next words at you, “and you could do with some harmless flirting before you go off to college and all the boys will be lined up to date you,” she kissed the top of your head.

“Sara,” you groaned as you rolled your eyes.

“What?” she laughed, “you’re so beautiful, all the boys will be lined up.”

“I can’t believe you’re moving halfway across the country to go to college,” Beth pouted.

You sighed as you slurped up the rest of your slushy, “I know, but I made a deal with my mom that I’d move down there after high school.”

Sara glanced at you too from over her shoulder as she put the ice cream in the freezer, “your dad tried to talk your mom into letting you stay here.”

“I know,” you smiled.

“Go on then, when is your scheduled web cam date with Dalton then?” every time someone brought up the subject of you going away to college, Beth quickly changed the subject.

“Sometime tonight, I’m thinking about after dinner,” you grinned, feeling excited. You seriously did hope that he wasn’t a weirdo.

Dinner that evening was your favourite but you hardly tasted it as you were working on eating it as fast as you could without getting sick. Your dad was constantly asking you if you were okay, usually you were really talkative during dinner. Every time you told him that you were fine, Beth and Sara would exchange glances with smirks on their faces.

As soon as you could, you made an excuse to leave the table, saying you wanted to get an early night. You didn’t dare tell your dad about your meeting with Dalton, he’d react just as badly as Beth did.

You sat at your desk and signed into your laptop, you’d already received a chat message from Dalton, the timestamp on the message was from about ten minutes ago, “shit,” you swore under your breath as you read the message.

Dalton: Hey J  are you ready?

You hurriedly typed back.

You: Hi, Dalton. I promise I wasn’t ignoring you, I was having dinner but I’m ready when you are.

Dalton typed for a couple of moments before the notification disappeared and then reappeared, it seemed as though he was deleting the message over and over. It became clear that he decided against writing a message and instead he sent you an invitation to begin web camming. You were so shocked that you almost pressed decline. You took a deep breath as you accepted the invitation.

Both yours and Dalton’s screens popped up at the same time and you realised that you both had identical expressions of relief on your faces, “hi,” you started at the same time

“I was worried,” once again, you both spoke at the same time and Dalton laughed as he gestured for you to go first.

“I was so worried that you were gonna be a middle aged weirdo,” you started, making him throw his head back as he burst into laughter, “I was thinking like Al from Toy Story 2,” you giggled as he grinned at you.

Dalton wasn’t average, he was hot and the dimples that he had on either side of his cheeks when he smiled didn’t hurt either. He ran a hand through his long hair, “you see, I was worried that you were gonna be the kind of weirdo that still lived in their parent’s basement with body parts in a chest freezer.

You giggled, covering your mouth to stifle the sound a little, “that is very specific.”

“Yeah,” he flushed “I have a lot of irrational fears.”

“No, no, it’s not an irrational fear, I mean that is a very legit fear. It’s just very specific,” you laughed as he smiled at you. It went silent for a moment or so, and you could tell by his body language that he was nervous, “so,” you started.

“Oh god, I’m sorry Y/N,” he groaned as he rubbed the palms of his hands against his eyes, “I’m so awkward,” before you could tell him it was okay he began talking again, “my brother convinced me to make an account on that forum, said I should meet more people. And, now I’m babbling,” he blushed as he fell silent.

“Dalton, it’s okay. Really,” you giggled, the light of his laptop screen illuminating his handsome face, “I was really nervous about today too.”

“You were?” he asked, looking at you with wide eyes, “worried that I’d be a creep?”

You nodded, “yeah, it was that at first and then I thought you might actually be a nice guy and that made me nervous too.”

Dalton grinned at you in a thankful sort of way and his eyes flickered to the works of art that you decorated the walks of your bedroom with. His eyes widened as he took in the sight of the beautiful drawings, most of them charcoal.

“Whoa, did you draw those?” he gestured to the drawings.

You giggled before realising that he was serious, “no, I’m very flattered that you think I did draw them though. My dad has a place in Tuscany which we go to pretty often, and the drawings were created by the local artists. This is my favourite one,” you gestured at a charcoal drawing of Romeo and Juliet on the balcony.

He smiled, “I’ve never been to Italy.”

“It’s so beautiful,” you gushed, it was your favourite place in the whole world, “so, you like art then?”

Dalton nodded, looking a lot more animated and at ease now as he shifted in his desk chair, “yeah I’m doing it at college this year.”

“Wow! You must be good; I can barely draw a stick man.”

Dalton laughed, he had a nice laugh, a deep rumble, “it’s just something I’ve always done,” he shrugged it off like it was no big deal, “what about you? Are you off to college this year?”

You nodded with a smile, you were excited to go to college but you just wished that you could stay in New York, “I am! I’m doing film studies.”

“Hence the love for horror movies, I’m guessing?”

“Yes,” you laughed “what about you, where does your love for horror movies come from?”

At your question, Dalton got shy again as he began to fiddle with the draw strings on his sweatpants, wrapping it around his hand nervously, “I like horror movies but I’m not really a massive fan of being scared so I mostly watch older ones that don’t have all the special effects. I don’t know, they seem less scary,” he mumbled. He was so cute.

“I’ve never really seen many of the older horror films.”

Dalton gasped, pretending to be shocked, “an aspiring film maker and you haven’t seen the classics,” he shook his head making you laugh, “maybe we should watch one sometime.”

“Maybe we should,” you grinned.

The both of you spoke for a couple of hours more, sharing interests and listening to music. When Dalton had to sign off to grab a shower you both promised to web chat at the same time the following night. And, that’s how it was between you two for the remainder of the summer. He quickly became the first thing you thought about when you woke up in the morning and the last thing you thought about before going to sleep.

Eventually it was the night before you were due to leave for college and you were sad, you didn’t know when you would see his face again. You tried to make it seem like it was no big deal.

“I’m gonna miss speaking to you,” you said as you were saying your goodbyes.

“We’ll still be able to speak to each other, just not every day,” he sighed when you nodded, “will you let me know when you get to college safe?”

“Yeah,” you replied making him smile.

“I’ll speak to you real soon, Y/N.”

“Bye Dalton.”

He gave you one last smile before he signed off, leaving you with a hurting heart.

Dalton huffed in frustration, he couldn’t get the painting right and now his hand was killing him as he got rid of the mistake. The door flew open which made him swear beneath his breath as he jumped and splotched paint everywhere. He knew it was Chris without having to turn around, he really needed to get the spare key from her at some point.

“Jesus, Chris! You gave me a heart attack!” he exclaimed.

“Sorry, sorry. Thought you might want to meet my new roommate and get dinner with us.”

He sighed, he really wasn’t in the mood and he had too much to do, he turned around ready to blurt out some excuse but he stopped as he saw the pretty girl at Chris’ side, “Y/N?”

“Dalton?” she grinned, her face lighting up as she did so, “it is you!”

Chris looked very confused as she looked between Dalton and Y/N, “you two know each other?”

“Yes,” they both said at the same time, and Dalton felt a blush creep across his cheeks.

It looked like Chris wanted to say something about it but she decided against it as she looked at Dalton with a raised eyebrow, “so, are you coming?”

Dalton nodded – maybe he did need a break – as he put his paintbrush down, “yeah let me just grab a jacket.”

Chris nodded before her phone rang, she groaned as she looked down at it, “I need to take this, I’ll meet you guys out front.”

“Sure,” Y/N and Dalton say in unison again as Chris leaves the room.

“We really need to stop doing that,” Dalton laughed as he grabbed a jacket.

“Well, I think you should learn to read my mind and figure out when I’m gonna speak, problem solved,” she joked.

Dalton laughed as he shrugged his jacket on, “oh, it’s like that is it?” he grinned, blushing as she smiled at him, “hi.”

“Hey,” she said softly as she walked up to him and gave him a hug, standing on her tiptoes.

Dalton grinned as he hugged her back, he couldn’t believe she was standing here in front of him, at the same college. He no longer had to see her through a computer screen. She smiled as she pulled away and looked around his room with interest.

“Wow, I was right,” she gestured at the art on his walls, “you are good.”

Dalton flushed as he ducked his head but grinned all the same, “thank you.”

Her pretty eyes landed on the drawing he was working on at the moment, he’d only done the outline of the walls so far, “what’s that you’re working on?”

“Just something for Art class,” he said quickly, it wasn’t necessarily a lie.

Before she could reply, Chris shouted to the both of them, “are you losers coming?”

Dalton and Y/N laugh as they glance at each other before going outside to meet their friend.

[bomberqueen17]

productivity

so this old laptop i'm using, it took me a bit to get used to the keyboard again, and its battery life is not great and it can only charge when plugged in at a specific outlet which isn't near any comfortable places to sit, no i don't know why it's like that either. i was going to just pick up my shit on my way back past Rochester on Sunday enroute to the farm to save myself three hours and 120 miles of driving but MM is apparently out of town on the weekend and would rather I didn't (I was willing to have her leave my shit in a box on her porch, but she wasn't comfortable doing that), so. I'm going to spend most of tomorrow driving to Rochester and back, I guess, so I'd better scale back what I can expect to get done this week.

I wasn't getting that much done anyway. I've cut out several garments, but only done a tiny bit of sewing. i managed to have the tension knob entirely fall off one of the needle threads of the serger i'm borrowing, and i've figured out how it goes back on but there's a nut that clearly fell off into the guts of the machine, so i have to figure out how to get the cover off to retrieve it. I've managed to peel the cover back but there must be a screw or something holding it somewhere, argh.

(My own serger remains stubbornly unfixable. Don't buy new sergers, apparently. Vintage is where it's at.)

But I have been managing some writing. Someone helpfully told me to think of having misplaced my laptop as a screen break, and I do appreciate the sentiment behind it, but I had spent the entire week previous with so little free time to look at my computer that I hadn't even half-discharged the battery. When writing is your primary hobby, and you do it on a screen, a "screen break" in that context really means "don't do the thing you are most deeply called to do". I could cheerfully throw my phone in a lake, as mostly it distracts me and I could use a detox from it one of these years when I'm not clinging to survival by its dim glow (my friends live in there, I can't give that up, but I might just delete instagram the way i did tumblr and twitter-- and no i never let facebook on there at all), but I write on my laptop, and most of my time is spent too busy to write.

But anyway. This old clunker of a laptop has answered the call and I'm lucky to have it, for sure. I'm finally making progress on the next bit of the Peace-Tied series, which has been bogged down for ages-- months and months-- first by my need to rewrite two-year-old scenes to fit the new continuity, and now by the logistics of a rather complicated sex scene. Yes, it's going there! Ha.

i was going to do a snippet post but then I was whining about my life instead and I shoudl get back to work before this battery runs out again. I'll do one later, I still think it will be a bit before the chapter is ready to post.

Yes there's more typos on this laptop-- half of it is the strange action of the very old keyboard, and half of it is that the screen doesn't keep up with the typing very well so i'm often typing blind. c'est la vie sorry.

[flowerandblood]

My Best Friend (9)

[modern! club owner • Aemond x fem!reader]  

[warnings: smut, sex content, kissing, fluff, swearing, mention of stalking]

[description: Aemond has his own club and often does business at the home of one of his business associates. There he often meets his younger sister, with whom he develops a deeper relationship through shared secrets. This is slow burn love story.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous and next chapters: Masterlist        

_____

Their whole house was in chaos, things had been pulled from shelves and cupboards, scattered all over the floor. Someone hacked into their alarm system and disabled all the security. After going through the entire house, nothing was missing - or so it seemed, until they entered Y/N's room.

"Fucking shit." Klaus said, running his hand over his face. "It's definitely him or his people. He was looking for something."

"And found it." Y/N spoke terrified, looking into one of her drawers. “The disk with all the messages and photos from him disappeared. In all apps, he deleted the messages he sent me. God! He also took my old card from the phone, that had text messages from him!" She said weakly, all pale. Klaus cursed loudly, turning away tensely. He was pissed off beyond measure.

Everyone went down to the living room to think. Aemond was leaning against the wall, Y/N and Marcus were sitting on the couch. Klaus was pacing around.

"And where were you exactly then?" He asked suddenly, turning to face her. Y/N froze, swallowing hard. She didn't have time to say anything, because Aemond was quicker.

“Albert came to see her at the University, Marcus was at the office. She got scared and came to me at the club. I let her stay there and we both spent the night there." There was no hesitation in his voice. Y/N looked at him with wide eyes.

"Both?" Klaus asked, frowning, his expression demanding an explanation.

"I was supposed to leave her alone in an empty club overnight?" He asked rhetorically, not looking away from his gaze. Klaus pursed his lips and looked at his sister, who was looking at him pleadingly. He let go, exhaling loudly. Marcus looked at her with concern.

“You should have called me. If I had known, I would have come for you." He spoke warmly. Y/N looked at him with tears in her eyes.

"I didn't want to disturb you." She said in a broken voice and hid her face in her hands. Marcus put his arm around her, his face showing pain for her condition, and also some remorse.

Aemond's throat tightened at the sight of him touching her. He wanted to grab her and pull her out of his arms. He thought after a moment, that he was thinking of her, as if she were a thing and not a person, and he felt embarrassed at his immaturity. 

He saw Klaus watching him from the side and he cleared his throat. He felt like he knew, what he was doing with his sister last night. He wasn't going to deny it, if asked directly, but he wasn't going to explain himself either.

“Marcus, let Y/N stay in your apartment tonight. I'm going to order a cleaning crew and get this done by tomorrow. I don't want her sleeping here, until we fix the alarm." Klaus said, his voice tense. Anonymous denunciation was one thing, but breaking into a house and violating privacy so much was quite another.

Aemond turned his face away at his words, standing with his arms folded, his face all tense. He knew Klaus was doing it on purpose and he was furious.

They talked for a while more, but Aemond had to get back to his business. Y/N looked at him apologetically, sensing he was angry, but they didn't say a word to each other. He didn't even dare give her a goodbye hug in front of Klaus. He nodded and just left.

He spent the day in his apartment in front of his laptop, replying to overdue e-mails and printing out missing documents, but he had a huge problem with concentration. He was embarrassed, that he couldn't contain his frustration. He didn't even know, what caused it. 

He didn't think she and Marcus would sleep together. Nevertheless, yesterday he had her all to himself, and today she was to sleep in another man place. His mouth tightened at the thought. 

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of vibration and the notification of a new message on his phone. He rolled his eye, thinking it was Kate again, but when he unlocked the keyboard, he saw, that Y/N had texted him. In fact, she sent him a photo.

It was a screenshot from an app for listening to music. At the top it said "Your own playlist set for today". Listed below were the songs, that were selected to be played in order. There he saw "Hush" by Deep Purple, "Welcome to the Jungle" by Guns N' Roses, "Never Let Me Down Again" by Depeche Mode and some other songs, that he knew well. He smiled slightly, seeing, that most of these songs were playing during their conversations. Somehow, it made him feel good.

A:"Someone here has good taste." 

He wrote and sent it, referring to the words, that she had said to him in the car this morning. He unknowingly smiled at her answer.

Y:“I draw inspiration and learn from outstanding individuals.” 

She wrote, and if he didn't know her, he'd think, she was serious. He imagined her saying it in her ironic tone.

A:"It has not escaped my notice, that you learn new things very easily." 

He replied with a grimace of satisfaction. She didn't reply for a moment. He found himself staring expectantly at his screen. He unlocked the keyboard again, when he saw a new message.

Y:"I have a good teacher." She wrote back. 

He tapped his tongue against his cheek in satisfaction. She picked up on the subtext and teased him. For some reason, he liked it. If any other woman had written it, he would have been embarrassed. It seemed so innocent and harmless from her. He wondered, what to answer.

A:"Only one?" 

He wrote, curious to see her answer. He felt tension in the lower part of his stomach. She didn't reply for a long time. He felt an unpleasant pressure in his chest.

Y:"It depends, about what you're asking." 

She finally replied. He pursed his lips. She hit the ball, so that now he had to think, about how to answer her.

A:"About more teachers teaching you." 

He wrote after a while, feeling, that he had laid his cards on the table in a way. His heart pounded in his chest. He wondered, what was happening to him.

Y:"No. And you, do you have other students?" 

She replied and he inhaled. He felt hot and replied quickly.

A:"No."

***

A few days have passed since their texts exchange. He felt better, because he had the impression, that they had more or less explained things to each other. He wanted her to know, that he had no intention of sleeping with anyone else just yet, and he didn't want to humiliate her. 

He also knew, that she felt the same way. He guessed, that was the thing, that worried her the most, and he hoped his answer gave her some comfort. He knew, she wouldn't want more from him, than he could give. It was one of her qualities, that he appreciated the most. 

Since then, they've texted each other from time to time. Y/N was texting him about the progress of the Albert case. Sometimes she sent him pictures of her college projects and designes, asking for his opinion, which flattered him. 

He didn't know much about art, but he shared his insights with her. She thought, that he had a good sense of aesthetics and that his remarks were very accurate.

Their contact didn't bother him. She didn't bombard him with messages 24/7. It happened, that she did not speak to him all day, and he, feeling the sudden need to contact her, sent her a screenshot of the application and a new song, he was listening to.

Criston's birthday was approaching. As a big fan of his club, he wanted to organize it there, which Aemond agreed without thinking much. Y/N and Klaus were also invited by him. 

Aemond felt a strange kind of excitement at the thought. He hasn't seen her in a week. He'd relieved himself a few times by thinking about her in bed at night, but that wasn't what he really wanted.

On the day of the party, Aemond arrived at the club early to make sure, that everything was done. As the first guests began to arrive, he retreated to the VIP lounge and surveyed the room, thoughtful. He felt a tension all over his body, like anxious anticipation. 

He saw Criston in the crowd. He got up from the couch, Criston smiled at him and held out his hand, which Aemond gratefully shook.

“It all looks great. Thanks, dude." He said and patted him on the shoulder. 

They talked about other things for a while, including Albert and the break-in, when Aemond saw over his shoulder that Klaus and Y/N had entered the club, talking about something and laughing. Klaus was dressed in a black, tight sweater, his hair was elegantly combed.

Y/N was wearing a tight "little black dress". Her dress reached to mid-thigh. Her dark hair and the shade of her dress, made her skin look like it was glowing under the club lights. Aemond felt his jaw drop just at the sight of it, and he had no idea, how he was going to put up with her the entire party, without fucking her. 

He was already thinking in the back of his mind, whether he could quietly take her to his office unnoticed for a while. Criston's voice snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Are you listening to me?" He asked amused.

"Yes, sorry." He just said, Klaus and Y/N approached them, Y/N was holding a bag in her hand, which was apparently a gift.

"Happy Birthday!" They both said happily, embracing the birthday boy in turn. They talked about something for a while, the four of them standing in a circle. 

Y/N was standing next to him. Aemond stood with his hands clasped behind his back, fighting with himself and his thoughts not to touch her. 

She looked at him with her big eyes, and he felt her thoughts wander in similar areas. He pursed his lips. Klaus offered to go for drinks, and Criston was taken up by other guests, who also wanted to wish him well. Aemond took the opportunity to lean in close to her ear.

"In 15 minutes at my office." He said flatly, though he knew, his dark eye betrayed him. Y/N shuddered and looked at him, taking in a soft breath. After a while, Klaus returned and Aemond apologized to them, saying, that he had something else to do.

He approached one bodyguard and whispered a few words in his ear. He didn't want anyone to disturb them. He felt, that if he didn't do it, he would literally explode. 

He walked towards his office and closed the door behind him. He took off his jacket and laid it on the couch, feeling his heart pounding. He had never been so desperate. Their messages, constant tension and lack of physical contact, made him lose his temper.

After a while the door opened. Y/N rushed inside, closing the door. She looked at him, swallowing softly, her body trembling slightly.

“I told Klaus I was going to the restroom. What happened?" She asked, her eyes showing concern. 

He approached her slowly, took her cheek in his hand and pulled her to him. She squealed softly, surprised, when he took her hand in his and touched it to the bulge in his pants. She stared at him with wide eyes, her breath quivering in her mouth. 

"This is what happened." He said softly, rubbing her hand slowly.

She moaned softly, feeling it pulsate under her fingers, the space between her thighs tightening. He rested his forehead against hers, running the tip of his nose across her face. He moaned low, as he felt her hand press harder against the fabric of his pants.

He put his tongue in her mouth, parting her lips with it, digging into it with a greedy kiss. He pulled her close to him, and they both moaned at the sudden, close contact. He pushed her dress up and grabbed her ass, rubbing it in his hands.

"Beautiful dress." He grunted contentedly, their bodies rubbing against each other involuntarily. 

"I'll fuck you in it, okay?" His question made her whole body tremble and a loud moan escaped her lips. He smiled at the sight. He would have teased her more, but they didn't have time. 

He quickly grabbed her by the hips and set her on the desk in front of him, so she was in the perfect position. She took off her shoes and panties, he quickly unbuckled his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. He reached for the condoms, but her hand stopped him, she looked at him embarrassed.

"I started taking pills." She said softly. 

He swallowed hard, staring at her in surprise. The thought, that she had started taking pills, so she could fuck him unprotected, turned him on even more. He pressed his lips against hers, their tongues dancing together furiously. Her hand dug into his hair, holding him tight against her. 

He suddenly broke the kiss and knelt in front of her, parting her thighs, his face perfectly level with her hips.

"Fuck, so wet for me already." He grunted contentedly and licked her dripping entrance without hesitation. 

Y/N arched back and sobbed at the sensation, she was extremely tender for some reason. He thought, she too suffered from their lack of physical contact. He slipped his tongue inside her and began to caress her, her hips following his movements, her hand tightening in his hair.

"Aemond, please, I need you inside me" She panted pleadingly, and he looked at her in shock. He stood up, wiping his mouth quickly.

"Back on the desk." He commanded, pulling her hips towards him. He felt, that if he kept going like this, a few moves inside her would be enough for him to come.

She did as he said, and he parted her thighs with his hands as if he were ripping a fruit apart. He had a perfect view of her pussy, which turned him on even more. 

He aimed his cock at her and slided inside her without a word, her body arching back at the sensation. They both panted loudly, feeling each other's bodies for the first time without any barrier. He began to thrust in her deeply, hard and fast, both of them gasping loudly with pleasure.

"You missed that?" He asked low, seeing how close she was to her fulfillment. "Missed my cock inside you?" 

She sobbed beneath him, her hips moving greedily to meet his movements.

"Yes, yes, yes..." She moaned, feeling, that she was about to come.

"I’m going to come inside you. Do you understand?" He asked, squeezing his hand tighter around her thighs, thrusting into her so hard, he could barely speak. 

She moaned loudly as her orgasm hit her lower abdomen, a wave of pleasure so large that she sobbed. 

"Yes, Aemond, please, please!" She sobbed, her face one of pleasure and pain at the same time. 

The sight, coupled with her words, made him cum inside her with a guttural, loud moan. She shivered as his hot semen spilled inside her. She couldn't catch her breath, she tried to pull away from him, because of too much stimulation, but his hands held her in a steel grip.

He didn't let go of her for a long moment. He looked at her, lying with her eyes closed, her mouth parted, her thighs spread, now being somewhere in a completely different world. 

He stroked her cheek with his thumb, and she looked at him dreamly. She rose on her hands. Aemond gently pulled his cock out of her. She yelped in fear, as something spilled out of her and she clenched her thighs.

"Easy." He said softly, taking a handkerchief from the desk and pressing it against her insides. "It's just me."

She exhaled softly, all red and took another handkerchief, feeling the one completely soaked in their shared fluids. 

Aemond zipped up his pants, took handkerchiefs from her, and tossed them into the wastebasket. He walked over to her and stood between her thighs. Y/N put her hands on his chest, they both looked at each other silently. He ran a hand through her hair, the familiar scent, that he liked so much, wafting to his nose.

"I missed you."

___

If you want to be tagged, just leave a comment. ~

@chainsawsangel  @yentroucnagol @cardi-bre91 @melsunshine​​ @bellaisasleep​​ @candypurplebutterfly​​

[cinemastyles-blog]

A-hole to Everyone but You

Summary: Anon request on Wattpad - “hey i have a request for dirty harry one shots! can we get an enemies to lovers where harry totally tortures the mc, with toys and doesn't allow her to cum multiple times? tyyy”

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, asshole!harry, toy play, oral (both), fingering, unprotected sex, filth

This is a lot longer than I thought it was going to be.. enjoy!

Master

“Okay so you have a meeting with the agency at ten am tomorrow and then you-“ you let out a gasp as you run into the back of Harry.

“Shit. Sorry.” You look up at him as he turns around, “Are you ever paying attention?”

You look up at him, “I wa-“

“Not paying attention, obviously.” He rolls his eyes and sighs, “At least I didn’t spill my coffee like last time.”

You chew the inside of your cheek, trying to remain calm, “I was just going through your-“

“Cancel everything tomorrow.”

“Cancel everything? Harry these meetings are important.” You cross your arms and stare at him.

He nods, “Yeah, but I said cancel them, fuck.”

He turns around and you roll your eyes as you just start sending texts and emails to the people Harry had meetings with tomorrow, making sure to look up every once in a while to not piss him off anymore than you know he already is.

You’ve been Harry’s assistant for a little over a year now. You heard from multiple people that Harry was an absolute asshole, so you know it was going to be part of the job.

But sometimes, he can be a bit dramatic. You told him that one time, and you thought you were done right then and there. As much as you want to give him a piece of your mind, you can’t afford to lose this job, so you just bite your tongue most of the time.

You seen Harry lose his shit on three different people at three different times and then you never seen them again. It made you kind of scared of him, but it also made you wonder as to why and even how you were still with him sometimes.

Little did you know, you were about to find out.

——

You sat in the hotel room, deleting and retyping emails. Getting more and more pissed as you tried to figure out how to explain to them as why the meetings were canceled because Harry never gave you a reason.

“Harry canceled because he’s a total ass.” You mumble as your fingers hit the lit up keys. You wanted to type that out so bad, but knowing your luck, you’d accidentally send it and then you’d be the one that Harry is losing his shit on.

You hear a knock on your hotel door and you sit your laptop down, “one second.”

You grab your sweater and throw it on quickly as you walk to the door. You look through the peep hole and let out a sigh.

“Hey, Harry.” You force a smile as you open the door, “What’s up?”

He nods towards the hallway, “Come with me.”

Shit, shit, shit, you thought to yourself as you walked down the hall to his room. This is it. He’s firing me, I’m about to lose everything, your thoughts race in your mind.

Rehearsing what exactly you’d say to him when he starts getting nasty. How exactly you’d put him in his place before you left him forever.

He pushed open his door and held it open for you to walk in first.

“Thanks.” You muttered lowly as you walked in. You looked down at your bare legs and feet and closed your eyes, this man really could make you do anything he wanted.

“I wanted to.. apologize for earlier today.”

You turn your head to look at him, laughing slightly, “Don’t worry about it, Harry. I should have been paying attention.” Your words have a slight sarcastic tone to them.

He shrugs it off, “It happens, I know I can be a little hard sometimes.”

All the time, you think but shake your head, “I get it.”

“Are you scared of me, y/n?”

His question throws you off, “No.” you shake your head, “Why would you think that?”

“The hesitation you have sometimes makes me think other wise, love.” He chuckles slightly, “I don’t want you to be scared of me.”

“I’m not, Harry.”

He walks over to you and you stand still, watching his movements. He does make you nervous, but you’re not scared of him. His anger is something else, but you know that you’d be able to take it because he secretly turns you on way more than anything.

“You don’t have to fear me, sweetheart. You’re the only person I wouldn’t ever hurt.”

At this point, you’re confused. Very lost in what he’s trying to tell you.

“What do you mean?” You tilt your head slightly and look at him.

“What I mean is..” he chuckles slightly, “I don’t ever mean to be an asshole to you on purpose. I just have to act like I don’t like you so they don’t fire you.”

“Y-you.. I’m sorry. You’re sayin-“

“I like you. A lot, y/n.”

You keep your composure, trying not to let it show that his words excite you, “I like you.”

“Do you?”

You nod, “I do.”

He chuckles slightly and brushes hair off of your shoulder.

His touch lights you on fire.

You can’t make a full sentence, “Fire me? Why wo-“

“Because you would be considered a distraction. But in my defense, I’m pretty good at hiding how I truly feel, if you haven’t noticed.”

You smile slightly and bite your lip, “Is that why you had three differ-“ he cuts you off, “They were no where near as good as you.”

You smile and look down. He lays his fingers under your chin and tilts your head up, “You’re the best assistant I’ve ever had, only one who doesn’t cock off with an attitude towards me without reason. You handle me better than anyone I’ve ever come in contact with.”

You swallow, kinda feeling guilty that you called him an ass and many other names in your time with him.

“I want to make it up to you, but you also have to do something for me?”

“Anything.” You blurt out without thinking of the consequences of your words.

“I want to pleasure you, is multiple different ways.” He leans in and presses his lips to your neck, “But you have to do something for me.”

You nod and he smirks, “you can’t cum until I tell you to.”

A shaky breathe leaves your lips, “Okay.”

He winks and nods, “Follow me.”

He leads you to the bed and has you sit down, “Go ahead and undress, get comfortable.” He slips his shirt off over his head and his body amazes you.

You have seen him shirtless multiple times, but now is the first time you can actually have a reaction and it feels so good.

“You’re so sexy.” You whisper just enough for him to catch what you say.

He smiles and walks over, placing a hand around your throat as he crashes his lips onto yours, “As are you.”

He stands up, leaving you in a slight haze, “Now undress for me, love. I want to see what you have under those clothes.”

You nod and stand up, undressing as he walks over to his suitcase, looking over his shoulder at you a few times. A smirk on his lips each time.

You reach behind you to unclip your bra but he stops you, “Mm, let me.”

He drags his fingers up your back, unhooking your bra. You close your eyes as you feel his hands touch your skin as he slides the straps down your arms.

“Turn around.”

You slowly turn to face him and a smile spreads across his lips.

He shakes his head and kneels down, sliding his hands up your legs as you stand there looking down at him. He hooks his fingers into the band of your panties and pulls them down.

You step out of them and he stands up, shoving them into the pocket of his jeans, “Lay down.”

You turn and crawl onto the bed, laying flat on your back, waiting for Harry to come back over to you.

You hear a click and buzzing sound for a moment before it goes silent. You swallow and take a deep breathe, scratching the bed with your nail anxiously.

“Alright, love.” Harry walks around and sits on the edge of the bed, “Ready?” He gently lays a hand on your leg, his thumb strokes your skin as you nod in excitement.

He bites his lip as he spreads your legs, his eyes going straight to your cunt. You start to feel a bit shy but that feeling doesn’t last long because Harry leans down and pushes his tongue between your folds, groaning as he tastes you.

“Fuck.” You gasp and arch your back up, “H-Harry.”

He shifts his body and grips your thighs, his finger nails digging into your skin, causing pain to mix with the pleasure.

You reach down and grip his hair, “Shit. Shit.” You move your hips down, trying to get more.

Harry leans up and pins your hand to the bed, “Eager little thing, aren’t we?” He smirks and twists around to grab something off the bed.

He hold it up, “What are the rules?”

“I can’t cum until you tell me to.”

He nods, “Good girl. I promise, I’ll let you cum, I just want to get to know your body first.”

His words send a thrill through you, goosebumps forming on your skin, “Okay.”

You tilt your head up, watching as he rubs the toy against your clit, “You have a beautiful pussy, y/n.”

You smile slightly, “T-thank you.”

He twists the end, turning on the vibration.

You jolt at the sudden feeling against your clit, moaning out as your head falls back onto the pillows.

“That’s it baby, tell me how good it feels.” Harry reaches down, pushing two fingers inside of you, “Fuck, you’re soaked.”

You whine as the feeling, arching your back as he thrusts his fingers in deep, curling them upward.

You already want to cum. You can feel yourself clenching around his fingers, “H-Harry.” You gasp out, “Fuck. Fuck. I- Harry I need to cum.”

“No.” He states holding his fingers still inside of you.

“Harry.” You beg, “Please.”

“I said no.” He pulls his fingers out, keeping the toy on your clit, “If you cum, we’re done for the night. Do you want to be done for the night?” He looks at you with a slight smirk.

“N-no.” You whimper, “I don’t.”

“Good.” He slides the toy down, rubbing it against your folds before slowly pushing it inside of you. You moan and grip the sheets, “Harry.”

“Does that feel good, love?” Harry asks thrusting the vibrating wand painfully slow in and out of you, “You look so beautiful.”

“Yes.” You whimper out, desperately trying to focus on not being able to cum, “So good.”

He leans down, holding the toy in you as his tongue laps up and down on your clit, humming against you.

You groan, “fuck.” You reach down, gripping on his hair as your hips start to move.

“Mm.” Harry leans up and lays an arm over your hips, “Don’t do that.”

You let out a frustrated groan, “please.”

“Not yet.”

He pulls the toy from your pussy and turns it off, grabbing a little toy specifically for the clit, “Do you like this?”

You nod, panting as you look up at him, “I love this.”

“Do you touch yourself?” He bites his lip as he stares at you.

You nod, “I do.”

“Show me.” He leans back slightly, letting his arm come up from your hips, “Please.”

You slide a hand down your stomach, gasping as your fingers rub your already sensitive clit, “Shit.”

He watches you for a few minutes, shifting around and palming himself through his jeans, “Fuck. Finger yourself.”

You slide two fingers down, slowly pushing them in and out of your achey cunt, “fuck.” You whimper and twist your body as you curl your fingers up, pushing them deep as you can get them, forgetting that Harry is even in the room.

“What do you fuck your self to? What do you think of?”

His words cause you to jump and you look at him, “You. I think of you.”

He smirks and chuckles, “I knew you were going to say that.”

A heat rises on your cheeks as he moves up, leaning down to kiss you. You moan against his lips and wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him closer.

He takes your bottom lip between his teeth and stands up, letting it snap back against your teeth, “Hang on.”

He reaches down and grabs the clit toy, pushing the button with his thumb, “Okay.” He pushes the toy to your clit, the speed of the vibration is a lot faster than the first toy.

“Oh fuck.” You gasp and arch your back, clenching around nothing, “Shit.”

“What do you think about?” He asks casually, watching your face twitch with the pleasure that’s bulldozing your body towards the orgasm you can’t have.

“F-fuck.. fucking you.” You squeal out as your body lifts, “Fuck, Harry. Please. I can- I can’t take this.”

“You can. Just talk to me. You think about fucking me?” He leans down, pressing his lips to the corner of your mouth, “How?”

“Any-any way.. fuck.” You groan and squeeze your thighs, “I-I need to c-cum.”

“I need you to answer me.” He pushes your legs apart with his free hand and squeezes your knee, “Tell me how you want to fuck me and then you can cum.”

You sigh as your body tenses, “Fuck.” You fight back your orgasm, trying to form words but you just seem to forget how to speak.

“Come on, baby. Just tell me.” He leans down and presses his lips to yours. Your lips move in a beautiful, hot rhythm for a short minute before he leans back.

“You be-“ you gasp and try to collect yourself, “Bending me over. Fu-fuck.. fucking me hard as you Ch-fuck.. choke me.”

“Yeah? Would you want me to pull out?”

“No.” You say loud and quickly, “Fuck, no. No.” Your breathing is rapid, “I want- I want you to cum inside of my pussy.”

Harry groans at your words, “Fuck, baby. I knew you were a keeper.” He leans down, biting the skin on your neck, “Let go. Cum for me.”

You let out a moan, screaming out his name as your body relaxes and tenses up as you have the most intense orgasm of your life.

Your legs start to shake and you can feel yourself gush, “Fuckfuckfuck.” Your body twists and you grab the sheets, yanking on them for leverage as you work yourself through your high.

“That’s is, love. Let go. Enjoy that feeling.” He strokes your hair as you start to come down, your body falling weakly against the bed, “So beautiful.”

He takes the toy from your clit and clicks it off, “I’ll go run a bath, we can relax in there together.” He whispers as he gently kisses your temple.

You smile weakly and nod, “Okay.”

He goes and gets everything around, coming out in just a towel around his waist. He scoops you off the bed and takes you to the bathroom, setting you down in the water that is just the way you like it.

He gets in behind you, holding you to his chest, “Did I hurt you?”

“You did not.” You tilt your head to rest your forehead against his neck, “I loved it.”

He pulls you closer and rubs your arm with his thumb as he hums tunes to his songs.

Harry really did pay attention to you. He knows a lot about you, he just likes having the power, but on top of that, he likes taking care of you more.

And you’re okay with that.

——

I’m so sorry this took longer than I said :/ pls don’t hate me I’ll give you a part 2 :)

As always, if you have any request -> send them here

[deadlyweapon567]

I need to get a laptop asap. It's much easier to write and for some reason Wattpad deleted all the work I had bruh 🙃. Well anyways here's a little something

Tags/warnings:Yandere sub Tsu'tey x black fem reader. Cussing, murder, dark themes.

Y/N pov

One minute I'm in a helicopter and the next I'm on the fucking ground bleeding. I struggled to crawl of of that stupid helicopter. We got attack by this pterosaurs looking thing. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person that survived unfortunately. I heard a groan, I get up only to hunch over in pain. I looked at my side to see it was bleeding. I apply pressure with my hand and walk over to where the groan came from. I look to see it was Jake of course that nigga is still alive I said in my head.(you guys have a little bit of beef with Jake👀)  I went towards him. It looks like he's trapped under something. Damn it what the hell am I suppose to do. I can't lift it especially with my side being injured. I tired pushing it off of him anyways. Shit clinching my side in pain. All of I hear something than suddenly I'm surrounded by theses blue people or na'vi as Grace would put it. One of them got off from their horse thingy coming towards me. I immediately went into fight mode and pulled out my gun. "Don't come any closer ". Taking off the safety. They all at once pointed their arrows at me as I pointed my gun at the man. I looked at man more closely he was glowing. I didn't even realize it had become dark. I heard a groan. Crap I forgot Jake was still trapped. Then out of nowhere a blue lady comes out in front of me. Saying something I can't understand. But I assume she was telling them to back off since they began to put their arrows down. I turn to Jake than back at the lady. "Idk if you understand English but I need help" point to Jake, "I can't lift it by myself." She turned around saying something about the which seemed to not get a great reaction from the others. I feel something touching my left shoulder. It was this Jellyfish looking thing. I smacked it away from me causing everyone to hiss at me. So I guess I'll just let them dance all over me or sum. Those things also were on Jake as well. After a couple of minutes they left. A couple of people walked over to where Jake was and started lifting. Jake was able to get out. All of a sudden I feel lightheaded and my bison is getting spotty. I looked at my hand to see it was soaked in blood. Dang didn't know I was losing that much blood. I stumbled and was about to crash into the ground. When someone caught me, think it was that guy earlier. Cause as soon as I touched him and blacked out.

Pt 2 will be up soon hopefully. Hope you like it so far. Let me know if there's grammar issues or spelling.

Here’s the link to pt.2

Bye 😐😗

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #31: andrew

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m andrew. Currently working on sleepingdogs related stuff as always, a project with my guy esh & the isolations from Boston, a project with Brian Ennals, and then I’m producing a few things for some people right now as well. Just dropped a record with Height Keech this July. Earlier in the year I dropped a split with my brother ialive and the second sleepingdogs album. Right at the end of last year I dropped my third self-produced solo, don’t forget me, bluest, Too many past things to name them all - you can get my last solo and the latest sleepingdogs vinyl @ threedollarpistol.bandcamp.com.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I write any and everywhere but not really by choice. The mind is always going, and you never know when it’s gonna start putting shit together. I write a lot of stuff in my head when I’m driving and just repeat the lines over and over trying build on it, but mostly trying not to forget. I also write at work a lot when I’m just zoned out building stuff. I’m always writing down bars or couplets throughout the day, but if I get on a roll I’ll step off the floor and duck into the bathroom for a second to finish a thought 'cause I don’t wanna be standing there on my phone too long. Those are probably the two places I write the most, but, as I said, it’s not really confined to any time or place. It all comes in spurts. I’m always writing something down, be it lists of words, phrases and random lines, or full verses. It seems to come in waves for me. I’ll be going crazy for a few months writing seemingly non-stop, then the next few months will pass and I haven’t really written shit as far as songs go, and I’ll think that it’s a wrap for me. Lots of ebbs & flows for sure.

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

These days it’s mostly phone, for sheer convenience. We always have our phones with us, so that just became the medium unfortunately. Up til a few years ago, I didn’t really write anything down. I would just write in my head and go over it out loud til I had it down pat and kept it only there until I laid it down, but over the years my memory seems to have less storage capacity. So, just to be safe, I started writing everything down in my phone. I think this actually maybe even caused me to start writing more because now instead of writing whole verses at a time, I’m constantly just writing down random lines and thoughts to put together more verses & hooks. When it comes to recording though, I really strive to have my verses memorized and read off my phone as little as possible.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

Oh no, so disorganized! Lists of words, phrases, bars, concepts for hooks, any and everything really.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

If I’m writing something and don’t like it within the first fours bars, I gotta trash it and start over. If I get like 10-12 in and I’m not loving it, I’ll just finish it anyway since I didn’t dislike it enough to stop at four. Then I’ll probably come back and cherry pick the good lines for another verse until the verse is just skin & bones and delete the rest if I don’t feel there’s anything more worth repurposing.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

I’ve written poetry as a much younger man and also started a novel at some point that got shelved indefinitely. Never really plays, but I used to storyboard write & illustrate ideas for music videos. I do design as well, so I used to have fun writing fake ad campaigns for products and foundations for school. And I’m seemingly always making up slogans or jingles for businesses for no reason at all. I dunno I guess I’m just always writing, consciously or unconsciously.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I tend to get in zones and write whole verses and/or songs in one shot, depending on the project. Those verses could be comprised of some of the random lines and word lists compiled over time or completely fresh - you never really know. I definitely edit if I’m on roll, but if there’s a line or two I don’t love I’ll just leave it and come back later and revisit or strengthen it. Sometimes you got a good rhythm and you can kill it by getting caught up on one line that’s bothering you, so I usually will just try to tell myself I’ll come back and I move on.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

Both. Sometimes I’m feeling inspired to write and I don’t have beats on deck at the moment, whether my own or someone else’s, so I’ll just write, and later I’ll either make something that feels like the right fit, or hear something in a pack from someone that does and freak it and make necessary adjustments per the beat. Then there’s also some beats that just demand my attention and compel me to start writing immediately.

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

I think just the way I’m feeling most days. That’s why it’s a lot of dark humor raps and things of that nature. That tends to be the majority of my material but obviously if there’s a specific theme that dictates the bars. I think it can really start from anything, but a lot of the time if I’m messing around in my head at work or driving and I come up with a few good bars that feel like they are good ones to open a verse with, it’ll propel me to keep going. They could be anything - some goofy, funny shit or something dark. I guess again it comes back to the headspace I’m in at that moment.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

I do, but I’ll be the first to admit I that don’t stray enough from the traditional when it comes to schemes and flows. I do mess with it on my own and try different things and write different ways, but I guess I usually don’t think that they’re strong enough and stick to the more traditional, though I’m definitely trying to break out of that and expand, for sure.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

I really like my verse on “flutes” on the first sleepingdogs album. I dunno it’s one that every time I do it live it just feels satisfying. It’s no real concept; it’s just bars, but it’s one that feels good every time. "living blues" from don’t forget me, bluest is another one. I think maybe just everything about that one makes me feel good - the hook, the verse, the flow, the outro. That was one that I made that when I was done writing I was immediately like, “Yeah, this one is something.”

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

"And I heard em sayin', 'Yo, why's drew the best? / I’m handin' out bodies like I'm breakin' up the Eucharist (eucha-rest)” from "flutes" as well has always been a fave, though it doesn’t really translate as anything special now that I'm typing it out - haha.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I definitely write with breath control in mind and definitely prefer to record a verse start to finish. I’ve definitely punched in but not because I wasn’t able to rap the whole verse, but more to make sure I hit certain words stronger than I could if I was doing it all straight through. As long as I can do the verse live and spit it straight, I don’t really care about having to punch because when recording and delivering a product you’re trying to present the best product, so for the sake of that I think it’s okay. So long as you can actually spit the verse, that is. That’s just me, though. I know there’s a lot of different views on this and some people are against it and some people do it obviously with the overlaps and all, but that’s just my take. I don’t particularly care too much about it one way or another.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

Man, too much. I get inspiration from all kinds of music. All good music makes me want to make music. Lately I been listening to a lot of Lykke Li, Rolling Stones, Heatmiser, Charles Bradley, Lee Moses, Courtney Marie Andrews, Lady Wray - too many to name. Outside of music, reading really inspires me as well. I been reading / listening to a lot this year and it definitely gets me going.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I have flashes of it, but overall I feel like I know when something is dope and when something isn’t working. And when it’s not, then I put it to the side and rework until it is. And if it never gets to where it needs to be, then it doesn’t come out. I feel being honest with yourself and admitting when something isn’t quite there is super important as an artist to make sure you’re putting out quality work, not just everything you put down on the page.

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Freeway. Every time I listen to Free I start rapping like him to myself in the car, but that’s where it stays - haha.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I think really just mental health stuff and the will to keep pushing forward. I write a lot of dark stuff laced with humor 'cause I feel it and I need to say it to get it out of my head and try to deal with those thoughts and feelings. And I think that’s important 'cause hopefully it can help people dealing with the same kinds of things and they’re not alone in it. It’s really just one day at a time, as cliche as that is. Just gotta do your best to get through the day, and tomorrow is a fresh start.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Noah Anthony Mezzacappa

[enniewritesathing]

discussion post #2 (i think?)

This may have been a small update but More Things happened and we gotta talk about it. (Or, I'm gonna talk about it.) More like a ramble, really.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? Speculation? Let's talk about it. 🤔

Behind the Scenes stuff:

first off, I wouldn't have the ability to even remotely do ANY of this part without @anothersimsstory's CC conversions and I'm glad I had the foresight of downloading it when I did. (they didn't delete their shit or anything but you know how it is sometimes) and the monitor by Theraven (I don't think they have a tumblr? they have a forum tho), and the EKG leads by @jellypawss. It really pays to make niche CC!!

I had to make swatches for the monitor since it is an important visual thing... but it was wholly contingent on me finding something that's close to actual vital signs and I looked everywhere but they were all stock images and obviously didn't work for what I needed. I then had to search high and low for for it, but I found it. For real!! I had to use TWO laptops (one for settings and the other for the actual monitor) and I screenshotted it, slapped it into paint to save it, make it a swatch, rinse/repeat for I think 15? idk how many

you may think, Ennie, that's a bit much, and I say, my attention to detail game is insane when it doesn't need to be but dammit, the visuals have to make sense from a glance. That and the offchance of someone who knows read the monitor would point something out about it. That said! I tried parcing out what EtCo2 is but all I got from it is was "high number bad".

seriously, I spent... a Stupid amount of time setting that up. 🅱️lease clap for me -- I can safely say that I don't think anyone else would go that far.

I told myself after finishing The Incident I was not gonna be doing 5/6 rigs all in one shot again. (🤡)

The lighting situation drove me up the damn wall and after a point, I just said fuck it. What I didn't anticipate was the stark contrast of John and The Werewolf talking and the memory in terms of setting. It's really cool, I think.

I fretted over this part the whole time because I didn't know what order I wanted and what I was going for, but I think I escalated it properly.

For The Werewolf's veins, I had to do the ol' S4S shuffle, but they are a combination of 3, maybe 4 and ofc had to make outfits for the progression, which is why he's still rocking the half-sleeve look (and from an age/timeline stand point makes him 21/22ish). You know what, let's look at them again!

it's a good look

Speaking of... I had to make a lot of The Werewolf solo poses and I found out that uh, it's all in the brows; they can completely change the meaning. It's bad enough with the angles and the general body language. (Or maybe not? Eh.)

Another visual thing -- The Big Scene... that one, I had going back and forth with it until I decided going all white for The Werewolf's eyes (or lack of pupils). It was far more striking and way scarier than the 'blank' eyes I tend to go with.

seriously, I contemplated on tagging it as a jump scare.

Oh! and the shaking of 3 pics, that was spur of the moment because I really kept going back into the post and something was just missing. I have a (cracked) PhotoMosh and I played with the setting a bit and bingo.

It is probably my favorite post so far. I had to settle with the fact that it's not gonna be the one to be spread around. Or any of it really.

Story Stuff:

There's so many crumbs in this! So. Many. There's even a loaf of bread or two. If you tell me what you're picking up on and you're on some kind of track, you get a cookie (🍪). (I'm serious, btw)

John's clearly shook. This may be the first time we've really seen him like this. And The Werewolf is nonchalant... (I will admit John looks very pretty when he's like this lol)

...or is he? I think there are more cracks in the dam than you'd think. A while back in a post that's somewhere on this blog, but John has a tendency to play with his hands when he's anxious.

Another thing that I just noticed is that they didn't really look at each other; I wonder what that's all about?

I've said it once and I'll say it again; even though they share the same body, John and The Werewolf look very different from one another, and I think that's neat.

Jordan being real about taking advantage of the fact that they're getting paid $$$ and they'd be dumb to not take up the offer.

I had to remember that Brian did not know John was a werewolf at this point in time, or even begin to really put 2+2 together. I call it a bit of genre blindness, helped by the fact that this didn't happen all the time. He just rolled with it. Also, wow he looks very young without his tats; ofc this was the college years and he was beginning to fill out/eating good.

Mark is the smartest dude in the whole story. He said, nope, nuh uh, I'm OUT. IYKYK.

There were so many pics I wanted to take of Daniel punching The Werewolf right in the solar plexus (or thereabouts it might've been slightly lower than that). As they say in the FGC, he failed to block that overhead.

I'm glad I decided to leave in the fact that The Werewolf couldn't see too well.

The Werewolf blew his vocal cords out screaming. He said that shit with his soul. Rarely do I go with the funky text with him since that's his "big scary werewolf" voice (that and he rarely speaks like that). My man said "I'll make you suffer my pain." Beautiful. Can't wait to see how that plays out.

That said, The Werewolf did work himself up to the point of nearly killing himself on accident. But as Charles predicted, his body hit the emergency button and shut that shit down.

I spent the most time worried about this part because it needed to get the point across without it being so... cheesy?

also, I have to say? The Werewolf is a Swearwolf. *rimshot*

The Fucking Around part has ended... The Finding Out part is really going to be fun to watch. (I mean, you can already do this if you haven't but now you have way more context.)

There's something about The Werewolf that's becoming apparent (to us). He's still holding back on his actual feelings. Not only that... he hasn't gotten to John himself and I think that's where it's really gonna go down. John knows this; he's not naive to think that he didn't have a role in all of this too. Something to think about.

Charles is a flat out Nasty Man (very derogatory) and yet, I kinda enjoy writing it.

I do love how he is formal with names, "dear ____" and referring to John's formal name Johnathan.

which I always forget this mfer is named Johnathan. Nobody calls him that.

[scarletanpan]

…

That remote-connection-required GitHub program for my school work had me tweaking so hard i. Impulse bought a laptop yesterday. I have been trying to get one for a few years for school bc my tower is so old and struggles and it’d be nice to be able to take my computer anywhere else so I’m not at home 24/7 bc that’s been killing me for years so like. Had to dig into my savings but it’s still a cheap laptop I just needed it to have decent functionality and after being completely unable to get into it without connecting my Microsoft account I then spent hours uninstalling useless programs and turning off all the dumb sponsors and notifications and random ui features that look atrocious bc I forgot windows 11 existed I was still on 10.

This shit fucking sucks so bad every ten seconds Microsoft is begging u to give them every ounce of your information like it’s not even funny. It’s v easy to click into connecting everything u own to ur computer and like i really don’t care if it’s useful go ahead, but like I’m not tryna do all that. Like can I not just. Use the computer?? Maybe without the system constantly saying how much worse my experience is without one. Like no offense I doubt there’s regulations bc no one would think to fucking do it but it should not be legal to require users to sign up to a service to access their own fucking computer they bought. It literally says if u want to use a local account u can, but after u sign in. So now even tho I’ve tried to delete every trace of my email and removed the original account microsoft edge prompts me with it for sign-in when I open it and no option to delete. So they still have my info even tho I didn’t want to give it to them

And ofc they’re a tech company they need data from users to function but if u don’t glance in the settings there’s a lot of extra ones, to the point that I had to take a break from reading them. Like there’s that fucking many and the ui does way too much back and forth that makes it genuinely exhausting to navigate which is. Interesting

The part that frustrates me the most is that there are now so many random buttons and links on the sidebar every single program in order to redirect to some other microsoft-related features that I can barely tell what I’m navigating sometimes. Everything looks the fucking same, I’m trapped in a fucking soft-edge minimalist window nightmare and it makes me nauseous i think

Might be the only one who feels this way but spending a few hundreds dollars on a brand new computer and then logging in to see the desktop covered with every single possible program (or phone app) u might ever want or need transmuted into this bare, technically functional microsoft void that’s still somehow missing most basic features any active user would need and also can’t be uninstalled w/o settings windows 10 and 11 intentionally removed makes me want to crumble into a ball and die maybe. It’s not hard to add it back but. Just baffling how manipulative the design of the entire system is like. This computer hates my fucking guts for not using its features

Oh and the github shit didn’t work either. Just got to watch it rebuild faster. One of the tech guys on my support case told me the move to github was a v sudden deployment they were rushed into and has lead to tons of issues like this. Which of course, I assumed bc it was Not like this last semester but wow. Love to see tech companies fucking over their workers and the quality of their platform for a deal. Like why is tech annoying and depressing and fucking me in so many ways this isn’t good for my future which I hoped would be tech-centered. It will be anyway I just know I’m gonna be mad abt the stupid fucking ways ppl run their businesses the whole time

[jgmartin]

MONSTERCALL

The Dark Web.

The name itself is a meme. It’s become the boomer boogeyman, the back alley of the internet where you go to get your kidneys harvested and sold off to a billionaire’s all-you-can-torture buffet. It’s the skeezy part of town. The no man’s land of the digital world, chock-full of society’s most vile scum.

It’s also pretty boring.

See, the dark web isn’t that much different than the surface web. Sure, it has a cooler name and better privacy, but most people use it for the same shit. Social media? Check. Shopping? Check. Pirating movies? Duh. Did you know Facebook exists on the dark web? You do now.

My parents are terrified of the dark web. They speak about it in hushed breaths, sort of like Ron Weasley talks about Lord Voldemort. It’s as though they think uttering its name too loudly will invoke the wrath of some serial hacker, just waiting in the wings to delete their bank accounts.

Ridiculous, right? I told them they were paranoid. To prove them wrong, I even downloaded the Tor browser and uninstalled Chrome. There’s nothing to fear on the dark web, I said, so long as you’ve got half a brain’s worth of sense in you.

Now, I’m not so sure.

Now, I wish I could take it all back.

I stumbled across the website after a night of drinking. I’d been out with Jared, my best friend since childhood, reminiscing about the good old days of driving Mrs. Crabtree up the wall. When I got home, I felt a bit nostalgic so I went digging for old pictures on Facebook. Like most drunk missions, one thing led to another, and I landed on an old thread listing the most exciting websites on the darkweb.

Spooky, right?

Well, most were fairly vanilla. Some free textbooks here, a bit of hacked video games there. I scrolled down through the responses until I found one buried beneath the others. It had just a single upvote. 

I stared at the link for a few seconds, then cracked a fresh beer and said fuck it.

The website was plain, mostly white text on a black background. Across the top was a banner emblazoned with the words CALL YOUR MONSTERS. I cracked a grin. It was kind of cute, in an edgelord, emo kid sort of way.

After clicking through a few menu links, I landed on the ORDER A MONSTER page. It said that, for $99, they would deliver a personalized monster to a doorstep of my choice. Free shipping, too. The flavor text read:

Perfect for getting even with terrible bosses, backstabbing friends, and childhood enemies!

I laughed. The idea was absolute gold. They even had a Monster Call Guarantee of same-day shipping. How they managed to pull that off, I had no idea. Maybe they had a network of paid actors, patiently waiting to dress up in Halloween costumes and say a few canned lines on somebody’s doorstep? Or maybe it was like Build-a-Bear, where you got to design your own stuffed version of ghouls like Dracula and the Wolfman?

Who knows.

Whatever it was, I decided I was far too drunk to give a shit about how they made it happen. All I knew was a hundred bucks was a damn steal. I smashed the order button and it brought me to a follow-up page titled DESIGN YOUR MONSTER.

I practically licked my lips. This was the juicy bit! The website gave me a drop-down list of selectable options based on modifiable body parts. The mouth, for instance, had FANGS, BROKEN TEETH, NO MOUTH, MULTIPLE MOUTHS, and TOO MANY TEETH.

I thought the idea of too many teeth sounded ridiculous enough to be awesome, so I picked that and went down the list and selected the rest of the monster’s attributes, including its body type, its subspecies, and finally its ‘power’.

The next page said LEAVE A MESSAGE. I mulled it over for a few minutes before deciding to keep it simple. I typed 'boo' into the text field.

Once I was finished, I clicked COMPLETE and it brought me to a new screen that made me jump. It was a webcam video of me, staring shocked at my laptop. The stream was live. At the top of the page, a red text banner proclaimed PERFORM THE BLOOD SACRIFICE.

Uh, what? I cocked an eyebrow. As if in answer to my confusion, a list of instructions faded into view on the bottom of the screen. 

 1. UTTER THE NAME OF YOUR RECIPIENT

 2. PIERCE YOUR SKIN

 3. CONSUME YOUR BLOOD

I burst out laughing. This was too wild! Not only were they gonna deliver a ‘monster’ to somebody’s doorstep, but they were gonna include a goofy ritual video too. 

Alright, I decided, I’m game. I went downstairs and grabbed a knife from the kitchen drawer and headed back up to my room. Holding my hand up with a coy grin, I pricked my thumb with the tip of the blade.

“Jared Mayhew!” I announced dramatically, stuffing my bleeding thumb into my mouth and sucking it clean. Once I’d finished, I held it up, drunk and proud, as evidence of my dark ritual complete. Seconds passed and nothing happened. Then, the screen went black and a new page appeared.

ORDER COMPLETE! DELIVERY IN PROGRESS.

I sipped my beer, wondering how Jared would react to my spooky surprise landing on his doorstep tomorrow. I really hoped they included the blood sacrifice bit. Jared and his wife, Alyssa, both hated blood, so they’d never let me live it down— and that was exactly what I wanted.

A couple of seconds later, a new screen popped up.

DELIVERY COMPLETE. STANDBY FOR RESULTS.

Already? That didn’t make any sense. How did they manage to create my order and ship it across the country, all in the span of five minutes? 

A depressing realization swept over me. My drunk ass had been duped. There was no way they’d be able to ship something that quickly, so the only explanation was 

A) it was a scam, or

B) it was just some lame video-mail jump-scare.

Fuck.

Now the $99 made more sense. There was no way a tiny start-up could offer same-day delivery and a compelling product for so little money. It was a pipedream logistically. Who the fuck did they think they were? Amazon?

Defeated, I decided that was enough dark web shopping for one night. Time to pack it in. I closed my laptop, brushed my teeth, and hopped into bed.

My phone vibrated.

I stared at it, wondering who would be messaging me at this hour. Jared, maybe? He was just as drunk as I was and probably high as a kite by now too. I chuckled, picking up my phone. The screen indicated one new email— from MONSTERCALL. That was odd. I’d never given them my email.

ORDER DELIVERED!

CLICK HERE TO VIEW RESULTS.

View results? I heaved a sigh. This was either a virus or some guarantee that Jared got a corny ‘spooky’ email. Still drunk, still making poor decisions, I clicked the link and it opened a video feed.

Of Jared’s house.

I sat up, my tiredness vanishing in a tidal wave of what the fuck. The video was dimly lit, and the way it bobbed up and down looked like it was being recorded off of somebody’s cell phone. Jared’s small, two-bedroom home was there in all of its suburban glory. Something about the video felt off, though. Wrong.

I told myself to relax. This was just some prank or gag. The company probably put out a call for a fraction of the money to any locals, and somebody pulled the contract. No doubt they were going to walk up the front steps, knock on his door, and then say boo and run off or some shit. It wasn’t a big deal. 

So why was my heart racing?

The video neared the house, the footsteps going slowly. In the silence of the night, I heard the person behind the camera breathing. They sounded frightened. Scared. Why? 

Lights went on inside the house, painting the windows in a dull, yellow glow. I squinted, seeing dark shapes darting behind the curtains.

Thoroughly confused, I decided to message Jared and ask if he got my surprise.

TERRANCE: suuup dude, you get my special delivery?? haha

JARED: HE,P

JARED: SKMWTHING

JARED: INSIDE THE HOUSE

Dark splotches splattered against the glass. A moment later, a woman’s scream rang out, and the window shattered. Two hands reached out from behind billowing curtains, gripping the side of the windowsill. Then two more gripped the top. A figure emerged, lurching out of the opening and into the yard.

It looked familiar. 

Jesus Christ, it looked familiar.

It stood eight feet tall, with large bat wings flared out behind it, and four crooked, muscular arms clenching in and out of fists. The person behind the camera stumbled backward, muttering something incoherent. The creature swiveled its head toward them.

The video feed shifted. Images of the sidewalk flew up and down as the cameraman ran full-tilt from Jared’s house, heaving panicked gasps. I caught muffled fragments of prayers. Then a shriek sounded, followed by the flap of powerful wings.

The video crashed, tumbling in a blur of pixels. A man’s voice shouted for help, and then something heavy crunched, and his voice died with a wheeze. Another shriek filled the night, and a shadow appeared, gazing down toward the discarded cell phone. It had four arms, a pair of wings, and a mouth filled with rows and rows of teeth.

Too many teeth.

I lurched forward, swallowing the vomit in my throat. In one of the creature’s arms was a thirty-something man, struggling wordlessly against the monster’s might. His chest looked like it’d been caved in. The creature leaned towards him, pressed its teeth against his face, and slowly bit down. The man's legs kicked and jolted as the beast’s teeth began rotating like a blender, tearing his flesh from his skull.

It dropped him there, convulsing and dying, then beat its great wings and took off into the sky. Moments later I heard confused shouts. Footsteps pounded against the pavement. More hollers. People called for the police, other neighbors told children to get back inside.

I put my phone down, horrified. It had to have been a joke. There simply was no way that had actually happened. It couldn’t have. It was too gruesome— too violent. That was digital effects all the way. It had to be. Apps were great at that these days. 

Weren’t they?

______________________

The next day I got a call from Jared’s parents. His mother tried to talk, but she couldn’t get past the tears, so she put his father, Roger, on the line. He explained that something terrible happened last night.

My breath caught in my chest.

I told myself to relax, that there was nothing to worry about. Monsters didn't exist. I knew that. “What happened?” I asked, as calmly as I could.

"Terrance," Roger said quietly. "This isn't easy to talk about, and god knows it's going to be harder to hear, but last night somebody broke into Jared’s home. Police think it was around two in the morning." 

My jaw hung limp, my hand trembling as I held the phone to my ear. A terrible coincidence. That's all it was. A terrible, horrible coincidence.

"I don't know how to say this," he continued, "so I'm just going to come right out with it." Roger took a deep, shuddering breath, the kind I’d never heard a man like him take in all his life. When he spoke again his voice was as fragile as glass. "The intruder that broke in mutilated them. Jared and Alyssa."

"Mutilated?" I said in a small voice. The sound of Roger’s voice on the phone felt distant suddenly, like the world was falling away from me at a hundred miles an hour. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t. These things just didn’t happen to people. 

"Yes,” Roger said. “God, Terrance. I hate to give you this news, I do. But you’ve always been Jared’s closest friend, and I didn’t want you hearing about it in the newspaper. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

He paused. “The police,” he began, pushing the words out. “They said the psychopath ate pieces of them. They say that the monster chewed their faces clean off their skulls.”

I held the phone to my chest as I vomited all over my bedroom floor. I hurled again. Then once more. 

“Terrance?” Roger’s voice said from the receiver. “Are you alright?”

“Yes,” I said, wiping puke from my mouth. “I mean, Jesus, no Roger. I’m so sorry. Holy shit.” My hand slipped through my hair and I gripped it painfully, praying that maybe if I just pulled hard enough, the pain would wake me from this nightmare. 

“It’s—”

“The funeral preparations,” I said, guilt pooling inside of me. “I’ll handle them. I’ll handle everything. You and Charlene need to take this time to grieve for your son. It’s the—”

“There won’t be a funeral,” Roger said, voice trembling. 

“What? Why not?”

A sound reached my ears, a sound I’d never heard in my life. I listened as Roger broke down sobbing. This man, this construction foreman who’d never so much as wiped a tear from his eye in the twenty years I’d known him, was crying his eyes out.

“Jared and Alyssa… they’re alive,” he said. “Hooked up to tubes in the hospital. The sick fuck left them, my baby and his wife, mangled on their living room floor. Can you believe that?” He wheezed, and I heard Jared’s mother weeping in the background. “The monster didn’t even have the humanity to put them out of their misery.”

My mouth hung limp. What was there to say to that? What words could alleviate that sort of pain? “I…”

“You need to be careful,” Roger said, and his voice evened out a little. “You’ve gotta be careful, Terrance, alright? You might not be my son, but you were over enough that I practically raised you. Pretty soon you might be all I’ve got left. The cops… Well, they told me they haven’t caught the bastard that did this. He’s still out there. So keep your doors and windows locked, you hear? And don’t let anybody inside you don’t know.”

“Wait—” I said. “They don’t have anything? No leads at all?”

“They’ve got something,” Roger said. “It’s… not much. A crumpled up note they found on Jared’s doorstep.”

“A note?” My heart thrummed. 

"Yeah. But it was just one word. Practically useless."

A lump formed in my throat. “What did it say?”

“...Boo.”

[kay-oc-rambles]

Okay it's been a hot minute since I thought about the first of my Stardew Valley OCs, Cas (even though I made a whole ass sideblog for her that I ended up never using)

But more importantly, I am thinking of an AU. Where some magic shit goes bad & she gets stuck in a time loop (me? Thinking about time loops? What a surprise)

So for context, when I first played SDV it was on my laptop. I think in my very first file I was dating Sebastian, then lost interest in the game. Later I came back & made a new file. After a little while I ended up adding mods (mostly quality of life like faster walking speed, infinite health/stamina, not passing out at 2am, but I think the thing that ultimately screwed me was no crows. For some reason that mod did not play well with other mods). I married Leah in spring of year 2, as soon as I could. And then like 3 days later, the game crashed & the file is corrupted. I was upset of course, deleted a bunch of mods (I had so many mods y'all, though some of them were for hair/clothes bc I'm a sucker for dress up shit). Also at some point before the crash I made my OC Cas & changed the file data to be her.

I started a new save file & this time I went for Harvey (still playing as Cas). Once again, over that first winter I finally got enough hearts so as soon as that first spring of year 2 rain hit, I bought a mermaid pendant.

And then 3 days after marrying Harvey, the game crashed. File corrupted.

At this point I had logged roughly 80 hours across those files & I was so pissed off at losing ANOTHER save file. I gave up.

Flash forward to later I decide to buy the game on my phone. I don't think I got through year 1 before losing interest.

Then I get it for the switch one summer. I play as Cadmus. I play for a while but can't decide who to marry. Eventually put down the game. Then sometime later I find out my brother has sdv on the switch so we start a co-op together, thus my making another OC, Bea.

Recently my brother was like "hey we should start playing stardew again" so we picked up that co-op file, I decide that I'm gonna marry Leah. I also decided after he had enough for the day that I wanted to keep playing so I opened up the Cadmus save file.

Initially I was thinking that for this file, I wanted to marry someone other than Leah or Harvey. My brother suggests Sebastian, & I go with it (in part because back when I first played I was considering him, & also he looks like he could be Anubis's emo brother so why not put Cadmus with the purple haired emo bangs guy?).

But now I'm almost a year in marriage with Sebastian & I miss Harvey. Very much. Like, I'm heavily considering saving up to divorce Sebastian (and then saving up more to erase his memory that we were ever married bc I don't want him to be mad 😔). SO ANYWAY NOW WE GET TO THE POINT

Cas gets a time loop AU. Idk maybe the wizard's ex-wife decides to curse her for sneaking into her house to steal back the magic ink. 3 days after marrying Harvey, Cas gets sent back to her first day moving into Pelican Town. The first reset, she's just like "wtf is happening". She goes to the wizard about it but he thinks she's just crazy. She wonders if maybe it was all a dream so she goes on like normal. She marries Harvey again. 3 days later she gets reset. Now she KNOWS something magical is going on. She insists to Rasmodius that she has lived here for a couple years now. He's like "okay if both times it happened 3 days after marrying the doctor, which happened on a specific day, marry him on a different day?". So she speedruns it & manages to marry him fall year 1 (idk offhand if this is possible but I don't see why not). 3 days later, another reset. First person she goes to is Rasmodius. She has no proof of what's happening but he is getting a weird magical vibe off of her. They on trying to figure this shit out & in the meantime, Cas CANNOT give Harvey a mermaid pendant.

But one day Harvey decides to propose, and Cas can't bear to say no to him.

She & Rasmodius are scrambling to figure out SOMETHING, even if it's just a way to gather proof that will stay despite the reset.

3 days after marrying Harvey, Cas wakes up once again in her old apartment, ready to make the drive down to the valley. She cries. She actually puts off leaving for a couple days, until she gets a letter from Rasmodius. She finally goes, & Rasmodius actually visits her at the farm. He explains that something felt off when she didn't arrive as scheduled, he checked out the farm & there was residue of time magic or something. Hella cursed vibes stuck to Cas herself. She explains everything. They decide that maybe, until they can figure out what to do, Cas shouldn't even date Harvey (or anyone for that matter, just in case). She's a social person, she loves & misses all her friends in town, she especially misses Harvey, but she needs to stay distant.

It's not till year 3 of this loop, year 3 of just being friends, of keeping everyone at arms length while still helping them out (she finally gets the chance to finish the Community Center at least) that Rasmodius realizes it's his ex-wife that put this curse on Cas. He didn't even think she was capable of such a feat! But now that he knows the source, he can work to undo the curse.

Together they're able to figure out how to undo it, but Rasmodius asks if Cas wants to start over one more time, since in this loop she's spent 3 years keeping everyone at a distance. He could make it so that he remembers everything from this loop, so that once it resets, he can immediately break the curse & Cas can live normally. She briefly considers it but ultimately decides that she's tired of starting over. She's worked so hard & doesn't want to lose it all again. Besides, it's not like the town hates her, she's just earned a reputation as a loner who helps everyone out.

I'm honestly tempted to have something terrible happen that would *make* her wanna reset one more time. Or not even terrible but "Harvey marries someone else" or "Harvey has to close up the clinic & move to Zuzu City". But I also wanna give them a happy ending.

Maybe Rasmodius's ex decides to come after Cas right after they break the curse, she gets seriously injured & is taken to the clinic.

What if, once the curse is broken, Harvey remembers all the loops? The rest of the town has no clue, but since the curse centered on Cas marrying Harvey (technically Cas marrying anyone, but she only ever married Harvey), for whatever reason he regains his memories of those past loops.

So when Cas ends up in the clinic, he freaks out & patches her up but there's this whole heartfelt thing where he's like "I suddenly felt like I had spent the last few years falling in love with you", Cas explains it. They decide right there, no mermaid pendants, that they're gonna get married. The whole town is surprised because as far as they knew, Cas and Harvey were barely even friends, now they're suddenly getting married?????

(Cas is of course super anxious during the wedding & immediately after, but 3 days pass. 4. 5. A week. She's still here. Everything is fine. They live happily ever after.)

[vaguelyprophetic]

It was a “5 things you didn’t say at all (stewy/roman)” post! It could just be a fault on my end but each time I click on keep reading it shows a blank page. If you still have it somewhere and would be willing to share I’d love to read it <3

OHHHH YES!!! that was a mini fic from a prompt list I had reblogged agessss ago. idk what happened to the actual post but I still have the draft in my docs!! so here you go :-)

5) Things you didn’t say at all

His therapist had told him he should try keeping a journal. Roman is one hundred percent sure that that’s some bullshit. He can barely bring himself to talk about his feelings with a professional, much less write them down and be forced to confront them by himself.

“Just give it a shot,” Dr. Rossi had told him. “A couple of weeks. Doesn’t matter how often you do it or how much you write, just that you write something, alright?”

Roman had reluctantly agreed, so now he’s sitting in front of his laptop, glaring at the empty word document in front of him.

They had agreed that he could type instead of writing it out. Actually writing in a journal feels a bit too fucking teenage girl for Roman’s taste. He’s not going to scribble his crush’s name in the margins and draw little hearts around it. He’s a grown ass man. He types shit. And it’s easier to hide shit on a computer. He doesn’t know where in the apartment he would hide a notebook that wouldn’t be at risk of being found. He knows Stewy wouldn’t go snooping, but he doesn’t know what excuse he could come up with to explain it. If he’s being forced to keep a journal, he would much rather have it on his laptop, buried six folders deep, the way he used to hide porn when he was a teenager. 

This is stupid, he types. He deletes the last few letters, then thinks better of it. He’s supposed to be writing down whatever he feels. And he feels that this is stupid. He finishes the word again. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to write about?” he had asked Dr. Rossi. 

She had considered him carefully for a moment, as if she was trying to figure out how to explain it in a way that wouldn’t piss him off. She spends a lot of time in their sessions figuring out ways to explain things in ways that won’t piss him off. 

“About how you’re feeling. What you’re thinking. Hell, you could even write about what you had for lunch. It’s just about getting words out of your brain and onto paper. Trust me. I think that once you get yourself to start, you’ll find that it actually feels good.”

Roman had stopped himself from saying that he highly doubted it. 

The word document is mocking him.

I’m not going to talk about my feelings. That’s stupid. It doesn’t make any difference if I write things down or if I just think them. This is a stupid assignment. 

Dr. Rossi hadn’t told him that he had to bring in the journal as proof. He kind of wants to, anyway, just to show her how fucking stupid it is. 

“Maybe you can write about Stewy,” she had suggested.

Roman had scoffed at that, but now when he thinks about it, he thinks that maybe it’s not such a terrible idea. As long as Stewy will never see it. As long as no one will ever see it.

Stewy is okay. I like him. He’s fine.

He lets out a long sigh. 

He’s always been really good at lying to himself.

He deletes the line and starts over.

I think I’m in love with Stewy.

Which shouldn’t be a big deal. It really shouldn’t. It’s NOT a big deal. That is something that happens to normal people. They fall in love, usually. Some people don’t. I didn’t think I would. Maybe I’m more normal than I thought I was. (Haha).

Roman taps his fingers lightly on the keys before he types: He makes me feel safe. 

It feels stupider to see it in words. He doesn’t delete it. 

He makes me feel like a real person. He makes me feel normal, sometimes. I guess as normal as I can be. He treats me like I’m normal. He doesn’t treat me like I’m broken or fucked up (even though he knows I am). He treats me the way I think you’re supposed to treat people you care about.

And, okay, yeah, this journal has already spiraled into teenage girl bullshit territory. Here he is, sitting in their bed—Stewy’s bed, he corrects himself—writing about his feelings. He almost wants to write Roman Hosseini as a joke. He doesn’t.

Okay so maybe I love him.

He asks the journal So what?, as if it’s judging him for the words he’s putting into it. Maybe it is. He definitely feels judged, but maybe that’s just him.

Maybe I love him. 

I love him.

Seeing the words in writing doesn’t make it feel any different than it already felt. So he was right—take that, Dr. Rossi. Writing them down doesn’t make a goddamn difference. 

He stares at the screen for a little while longer. The cursor is still blinking, waiting just past the period on the end of him. Roman tries to think of something else to say. He doesn’t think there’s anything else to add. 

So there it is, staring back at him. 

He closes out the word document, saves it as Therapy bullshit, moves it as many folders deep as he can, and shuts his laptop. He doesn’t want to think about how it will still be waiting for him the next time he forces himself to open the document back up. That’s a problem for future him.

He doesn’t think he’ll say it. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever say it. But it’s there, and it will wait for him, as patient as can possibly be.