#i have a bunch of sick pay lined up though because all i do is work now. i really was thinking the other day ‘i’ll probably never have a

[fingertipsmp3]

I think the worst part of falling down today was that it was such a weirdly enjoyable shift up to that point

[thefrogman]

Froggie's Mailbox Adventures

I have been wanting to tell this story for a while now. This all happened right before my birthday and then I got sick for 4 weeks and didn't have the energy to talk about it.

So let us take a trip into the recent past to hear a tale of woe and triumph with a bunch of extra woe interspersed throughout.

It all began on the 4th of July.

Some neighborhood rascals ruined my old mailbox with a baseball bat.

They also destroyed my brand new mailbox sensor that lets me know when there is mail so I don't have to make multiple trips to check.

(Ring replaced it for free, so that was nice.)

Originally, I was going to hire someone to replace the mailbox. But I was not having much luck finding someone who could do that specific task. (I've been having trouble finding help in general due to living in a supposedly "dangerous" area.)

So I decided to try and install the mailbox myself. And I had no idea how much of an adventure that was going to be...

My first step was tearing off the old one to see how it was mounted.

I got some paper and a sharpie and noted where the holes were. And, of course, they didn't line up with the new mailbox.

Which is a really nice mailbox. I mean, it is solid. Check this bad boy out and please don't notice the dirty clothes lying on the floor in the background.

It is always so tempting to save a few bucks and get the cheaper thing, but I am so glad I splurged on this. It looks nice. It functions well. It has magnets. And I don't think it can be baseball-batted without some instant karmic retribution from Newton's third law.

My next step was to get a new mounting plate. And even though I try not to go to Home Depot because it is run by a bunch of conservative religious bigots... I went to Home Depot.

I was a little nervous about leaving the house at the time because I was still struggling with my heart issue (which I think is mostly resolved now). I was trying to be very careful about how much I exerted myself. I really didn't want to have an episode while I was out and about.

After searching for a while I discovered they had a mounting plate and a pressure-treated mounting board. I could do wood or metal. And they were located on completely opposite ends of the store because of course they were.

I had both items in my hand and I did that thing where you just keep staring at something hoping a useful thought will pop into your brain. I had no clue which one was better for my needs. There is surprisingly little information regarding mailbox installation on the internet. YouTube really let me down on this one. I was just kinda winging it and solving problems as I went along.

I stared for for a little while longer and no useful thoughts happened.

I was tired of staring so I just said, "Fuck it" and made an executive decision.

Then I almost passed out in Home Depot.

I spent too much time walking around that gigantic monstrosity of a store and my heart started beating super fast and my legs felt like jello and I started getting quite dizzy.

I was in rough shape.

So... I had a little lie-down next to a wall of tape measures.

I just stared up at them thinking about all of the things I could measure.

I could measure a dog.

Or a horsie.

Or a horsie the size of a dog.

Then I thought, "Ooh, that one has lasers! I NEED IT."

My brain was not functioning at 100% in that moment.

After about 10 minutes of thinking about lasers and things I could measure with lasers, my body seemed to reboot and I was able to get up. Thankfully no one saw me and thought there was a dead body in the aisle or something. But that was still embarrassing all the same.

Once my heart slowed down I was able to pay and make it out to the car. I headed home and saw one of the most unusual sunsets of my life. The sun was dim and a shade of orange I have never seen in nature. It was like, cheeto orange. Not only that, it was a perfect circle with a super crisp outline. It didn't look real.

I tried to get a picture of it but when I looked at the picture later, the camera didn't capture anything like what I saw.

This is the best approximation I can manage. But it still doesn't do it justice.

I was hoping I could get home in time to grab my real camera and capture this strange setting sun, but it dipped below the horizon just as I pulled into my driveway.

I then started problem solving how to get the new mailbox in place with the items I purchased. And I was on a deadline because I have no clue what happens when the mailperson arrives and they don't have a mailbox to put the mail in. Do they just throw it on the ground? Do they get to keep the mail? Are they going to use all of my grocery coupons?

And for some reason, my post office does not keep a consistent delivery schedule. I've been trying to figure out a pattern for weeks and they just seem to come "whenever" and that is about as close as I can pin it down. Which is why I got the mailbox sensor.

Due to my near fainting episode in Home Depot, I was in no shape to be handy, so I was trying to think of a temporary solution to put the new mailbox on without properly mounting it. At first I was going to just wrap it in packing tape a bunch of times. But then I noticed I had a bunch of string. And I decided that was a more interesting solution... for reasons? My brain was still not doing well. But when I tried to tie the new mailbox to the post with the string it failed miserably. And I realized the packing tape wouldn't work either. The mailbox did not sit flat on the post and it wiggled. However, because I tried the dumb string method, I discovered this wiggle issue and it actually helped me figure out how to mount it.

I gave up for the night and decided to hope I could install the box in the morning before "whenever" happened. The next morning I started drawing dots on boards and comparing my old holes to my new holes and measuring clearances. (Measuring without lasers like a chump.) I needed to elevate the mailbox in order to mount it and that's when I thought to combine the board and the plate. I could screw the board into the old holes and then create new holes in the board for the plate to attach. And the plate lined up with the holes in the bottom of the new mailbox.

EASY!

It was a pretty big brain moment for me and I felt like I just solved quantum physics or something.

You're probably pretty confused because you are not as smart as I am.

Here is a diagram to help.

The board mounts to the post arm. The plate screws into the board. The mailbox screws into the plate.

Or just use string.

Also, how fortunate was it that I stared for all that time and got frustrated and just bought both things?

My next problem was that my drill wouldn't fit inside the mailbox and I couldn't screw the screws in place. So I drilled pilot holes in the board so I could manually screw in the screws with a ratcheting right angle screwdriver.

And the only reason I had one of those is because I use it as a fidget toy. (I like the clicky sounds.)

Another lucky happenstance!

I tried to prepare as much as I could in my garage before dragging all of my tools to the end of my lengthy driveway. I brought along my dad's old rolling walker so I'd have something to transport everything.

But also so I'd have something to sit on while I was installing the new box. Then I wouldn't have another heart episode and need another lie-down.

Seriously, how big is my brain?

I am like the smartest person alive.

So I got to the end of the driveway with all of my tools and my board and my plate and my templates and I realized something was missing.

The new mailbox.

I am like the dumbest person alive.

After a quick back-and-forth to retrieve the mailbox, I got started on my master mounting plan.

I screwed the board onto the post arm.

Then I screwed the plate into the board.

Then I lined up the new mailbox onto the plate.

But as I was doing this, I was kinda sticking out into the street a little bit. And usually that isn't a big deal. Cars can see me from very far away and they were just steering around me. But then two cars came from opposite directions at the same time and I was in a precarious position where I could not move. One car steered wide to avoid me, and for some reason, the other car decided not to slow down but to drive off the edge of the street.

And as they pulled this maneuver I heard a loud thump, followed by a loud pop, and then the sound of hissing getting farther and farther away.

Like a snake version of the Doppler effect.

They drove directly into this and popped their tire.

On the one hand, I felt a little responsible and guilty. On the other, it is not my responsibility to fix the street. And on a third hand, that was silly driving behavior and perhaps they will see this as a learning moment.

After processing what just happened I got back to the task at hand. To my delight and surprise, all of my planning and problem-solving was working. Everything fit together perfectly. The right angle ratcheting screwdriver was screwing in the screws. And after I tightened the final one...

I had successfully installed a new mailbox, on my own, without any jankiness or tape or string.

Like, I did this legit proper.

Tons of pure endorphins rushed into wherever endorphins go. (Again, I am very smart.) That feeling of accomplishment was pure ecstasy. I had no idea how to do this and in less than 24 hours I was basically an expert mailbox installer. I took some shots of my work on my phone so I could brag to Katrina, packed up all of my tools, and began to walk back to the house.

And... my heart started beating fast again.

And... I needed to have another little lie-down in the grass next to my driveway.

I stared up at the sky and was frustrated and proud simultaneously. A weird mixture of emotions. At the time I didn't know if my heart could be fixed. But thankfully I had my sense of accomplishment to temper my heart sadness.

And then I thought, "I should get a new address sign."

Epilogue time!

I got on Amazon and started looking up new signs. And I found one that was solar powered and lit up at night. So clearly I needed to have that one. My midnight food delivery people will never struggle to find my house again!

And it actually looked pretty neat.

(My address is not actually four 0s, but you are free to try sending me something.)

The sign was very easy to read... if you were super duper close.

But if you were farther away...

You couldn't actually distinguish the numbers. And it kinda looked weird next to the mailbox. And headlights made the numbers even harder to see. Which was the opposite of what I was going for.

So I opted to get a more traditional sign.

(Please send items to the realm of nothingness. I am in the void.)

But this bugged me because the sign was a different size than the old sign and the connection points didn't line up perfectly.

I HAD A CATAWAMPUS CHAIN!

WHICH IS THE MOST UNACCEPTABLE KIND OF WAMPUS!

It was at this point that Katrina started making fun of my perfectionism.

But this wasn't perfectionism for perfection's sake.

My Dad was having trouble fixing things around the house. And some other kids knocked over the previous, previous mailbox. And he found the strength to go to the store, get a new one, and install it all by himself. He was at the end of the driveway, attached to his portable oxygen canisters, and fixing one last thing for this house.

And I guess I just wanted to get it back to perfect. Because he never did any handyman task half-assed. He was a full-ass handyman. Always.

So... I fixed the sign.

Perfectly balanced.

Again, feel free to send me stuff to 0000 Road.

I'm sure it will get here... "whenever."

[hard-core-super-star]

hold you in my arms tonight [K.Bishop]

pairing: alpha!kate bishop x omega!reader

summary: kate's spending another late night at the office and you do what you always do best: distract her enough so she'll pay attention to you instead

warnings: smut -> minors, look away this isn't for you! [omegaverse au; pet play is more than implied this time but it's not super explicit {kate calls R puppy multiple times}; grinding; lots of praise; soft kate hours; a very small dash of overstimulation; cockwarming; office sex; kate either has a penis or a super fancy strap, that's up to the reader to decide ;)]

wordcount: 2.4k

a/n: LISTEN- i have no explanation for this, i am haunted by alpha!kate and i needed to do something about it. i'm still NOT an expert on omegaverse au's at all so the worldbuilding isn't as fleshed out as i would like. OH and yes, this is technically set in the same universe as my last alpha!kate fic, it's technically a sequel. anyway, that's all, hope you enjoy and um...drink some water :)

* * * * * * *

“Tell him I don’t care, he better have that paperwork in by tomorrow morning or he’s fired-”

Your eyes slowly open to the artificial lights in Kate’s ridiculously large office as her annoyed voice rouses you from your sleep.

Despite her best attempts at making the space cozier for you, a plan that includes an overwhelming amount of blankets and a special bed, the bright light contrasts too harshly with the pitch black darkness on the outside of the window behind her.

You don’t know what time it is, or how long you’ve been asleep for, but it’s obvious it’s far too late for her to still be hunched over her desk. It’s not unusual for her to overwork herself but she’s been spending far too long in this office and you’re a little sick of staring at the same four walls, no matter how much stuff is on them.

Kate’s phone call isn’t over yet but your need to be near her is more overwhelming than your uncertainty. 

You slowly make your way over to her, the tension in her body getting clearer the closer you get to her. You’re not sure how to help and yet you continue forward with no plan until you reach her chair.

Your scent must give you away because Kate looks down to look at you the second you situate yourself on your knees next to her feet. Her free hand reaches down to stroke your hair while she continues arguing with whoever’s on the other line of the phone.

Despite your curiosity, you pay no attention to what she’s saying, assuming it’s just a bunch of CEO nonsense that you don’t understand. So, instead, you focus on the subtle change in the air around you.

The awful smell of the alpha’s stressed pheromones finally begins to dissipate a little as they’re replaced with the protective smell you’ve learned to associate with Kate.

You lean forward to rest your chin on her leg, a sleepy smile tugging at your lips while she continues to run her fingers through your locks. 

You’re not sure how much time goes by, and you’re pretty sure you end up taking another mini-nap, but eventually you hear the words that you’ve been waiting for. “We’ll sort this out tomorrow, I’ve gotta go.”

You look up at her as she finally hangs up and turns all her attention over to you. Your excitement must be obvious, and contagious, because she matches your smile with a bright one of her own. 

“Hi, baby,” she coos. “Someone’s still a little sleepy, huh?”

You let out a soft hum in response and bring your hands up to tug at her ridiculously expensive pants. It’s a habit you’ve developed over the course of her many, many, late nights at the office. Even though she always tells you to use your words, she can’t deny how cute it is when you get so soft and needy.

“Okay, okay.” She chuckles as her hands drift down to help you climb onto her lap. “Come here, sweetheart.”

You happily accept her help, letting out a soft little yip once you're fully situated. Kate looks down at you with the most breathtaking smile you've ever had the privilege of seeing.

"There you are, that's better, isn't it?"

Your nod of glee is almost instantaneous and it earns you another sweet chuckle. Her hand comes up to tangle in your hair, lovingly scratching your scalp and relishing the soft little sounds you make without even realizing.

Somehow, you end up wiggling enough to feel a certain hardness pressing up against you. It takes pretty much all your self control not to grind down harder against her and instead you whine while looking up at her.

"What?" She asks, her smile turned more and more into a smirk. "Do you not like your surprise? I've been thinking about giving you a treat all day, puppy."

It's not like you and Kate have never messed around in her office before but it felt different this time.

Maybe it was due to your lingering sleepiness or your need for her attention and affection. Or maybe you were simply needier than you thought. Whatever it is that's affecting you so much makes you want more of her.

The alpha's eyes darken as the scent of your growing arousal hits her nose. You've never met another person who is as reactive to smells as she is. It's as overwhelming as it is attractive, especially when her reactions are due to you.

Her hands suddenly move down to grip your waist and it's not until you feel her nails trying to dig into your skin through the fabric of your shirt that you realize you're grinding against the bulge in her pants. "Someone's getting ahead of themselves."

"Sorry," you mumble as a familiar warmth spreads across your cheeks.

"Don't apologize, baby. I love seeing how needy you are."

Her words make you grow needier which makes you feel suddenly shy. Kate's warm chuckle rings in your ears as you bury your face in her neck to hide your embarrassment. You were pretty used to how different the brunette was from the cruel alphas you'd known all your life but some things still caught you by surprise.

Such as her love for turning you into a shy, subby, little mess for her. You still weren't used to all of those things being good. Desirable, even.

You whine against her skin as her hands slip under your shirt, slowly exploring your stomach and the bite marks she'd left behind a few nights ago. Kate was insatiable, though, and going a few days without having her way with you was practically torture for her. Especially when you were around her all day, looking so adorable in her old, oversized shirt, and comfortably curled up in your puppy bed.

"You're too cute, sweetheart," she says, tilting her head back a little when she feels you nuzzling her. "You have no idea how hard it is for me to resist touching you all day."

"Then don't," you whisper.

You feel her laugh before you hear her. "Oh, that's naughty, pup. Is that something you'd like, hmm? Sitting on my lap while I'm in long, boring, meetings? Letting me touch you however I want?"

The idea causes you to moan, the sound coming out louder and needier than originally intended. It's not like it matters much, though, considering you two are the only people left in the office at this hour. And Kate loves breaking you out of your shell like this, watching you slowly let loose until you're helpless against your needy urges.

"Come on," she says, her hands sliding up your body until she's able to cup your breasts. "Use your words for me."

You instantly arch into her hands, the movement causing you to rub against the hardness in her pants again. "I would really like it."

"Good girl, darling." Her fingers play with your hardening nipples, softly tugging and pinching in the way that causes you to absolutely melt against her. "Go ahead, pup, I know what you want."

It's not exactly what you want but your hips instantly respond to her gentle command and you start grinding against her bulge. Even though you'd already desperate for more, the friction feels incredible against your soaked cunt.

"Someone's a little messy," she teases almost absentmindedly. It's obvious you're already too far gone to really comprehend what she's saying which only makes her want to tease you even more.

It took her more than a few months to get through your defenses enough for you to be this vulnerable with her. Your recovery process had been slow due to the amount of bad relationships and cruel alphas you'd been with in the past but she was slowly teaching you what it was like to be with someone who didn't care about stupid dominance hierarchies. She was just as much yours as you were hers.

You still don't have the matching mating marks to prove it, though, much to your dismay. Kate's still set on taking things slow and giving you time to recover before allowing you to make a commitment like that.

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?" Kate asks, choosing that exact moment to thrust her hips up against you.

"Ah-" Your fingers grip the front of her shirt as your body shakes in response to her movements. "Good- Feels so good…please…need you."

"Yeah? You need me, darling?" Despite the teasing tone in her voice, her hand moves down to her pants.

Your brain doesn't fully register what she's doing through the fuzziness in your mind and you instantly try to grind against her hand. She chuckles which causes you to whine and rub your nose against her scent gland.

You know exactly what doing that does to her but you're not doing it to rile her up. Something that, considering her scent, might actually be impossible. Her pheromones are so strong and lust-filled that it makes your head spin but it's still not enough.

You need more.

Thankfully, Kate's just as impatient as you.

She uses one of her hands to lift you up enough for her to haphazardly pull her pants down. The potent smell of alpha musk hits your nose all at once and your whines grow louder.

"I'm right here, I've got you, baby." She shifts her hips and you gasp as the head of her cock parts your drenched folds.

"Please," you mumble, trying your best to stay still and patient.

"I know, just relax for me, okay?"

All you can do is hum in response and allow her to help you sink down onto her cock, gasping and moaning as she stretches you out. You doubt you'll ever get used to her size. To how well she fills you up without even trying.

"You're such a good girl, puppy." She groans as your walls clench around her. "Fuck, you're taking me so well, darling."

"Kate-"

A possessive growl builds up in her chest at the sound of you moaning her name. You can smell how aroused she is, how badly she needs to give in to her instincts and just take. And yet, despite her own needs, she moves painfully slow, giving you all the time you need to get used to her size.

All it takes is one shallow thrust before she's fully sheathed inside you. Her head drops down onto your shoulder, her loud pants filling the air between you for the next few seconds.

You appreciate how gentle she's being, especially since your neediness only serves to make you even more sensitive than usual, but you're already teetering on the edge of an orgasm.

You can't stop yourself from shifting against her when she doesn't move. She chuckles, the sound slightly muffled by your shoulder.

"Close already, sweetheart?" She asks, her voice far too sweet for the teasing words she speaks. "We've barely started."

"Please-" You don't care how desperate you sound, how borderline pathetic it is that you want to cum already, all you care about is her.

She shushes you as her hands grip your hips. "It's alright, just enjoy it. I'm right here with you."

"Uh-huh," you mutter, completely intoxicated by her scent and the possessive dominance that coats it.

"You're so cute like this."

The soft praise makes your walls clench around her and your both moan in response to the sensation. It's more than enough to spur her on and she wastes no time in helping you ride her, practically moving you up and down her length on her own.

You try to hold yourself up but then she starts thrusting up into you and you practically go limp in her arms. She notices, the rumble that emanates from her chest makes that perfectly clear, yet decides not to comment on it. Instead, she does what she can to pump out comforting pheromones as she continues to overwhelm you with pleasure.

"Doing so good for me, baby." One of her hands leaves your hips and snakes its way between your legs. She barely holds back a groan as her fingers meet your wetness. "Fuck, you're soaked. My poor puppy's so needy, aren't you, darling?"

"Yea-" Your words give out the second the tip of her fingers tease your sensitive clit. "Kate!"

Her touch is gentle despite the growing sloppiness of her thrusts. "I know, cum for me, don't hold back, pup."

The firm encouragement is all you need to let yourself go. All you can do is moan breathlessly and hold onto Kate like she's your rock. Which she is, in more ways than one.

The alpha in question holds herself back until she's sure you're lost in the throes of pleasure. She doesn't have to, you've told her that at least a dozen times, but she does it every time without fail. Your pleasure will always come first for her.

Something that only makes her orgasms all the more intense.

It quickly becomes impossible to tell whose moans are louder and before you know it, both of you are breathless, panting, and pressed up impossibly close.

"Holy shit," the brunette mumbles, her body shuddering through the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Mhmm," you reply absentmindedly.

Your exhaustion comes back with a vengeance as you recover in her arms. Kate obviously notices but no amount of soothing phenomes can win out over the smell of musk and sweat and clings to both of you.

"You did so good for me, you're always so good." Her fingers brush against your clit again and you instantly squirm against her.

"Kate…" you mumble against her neck.

"Too sensitive?" She asks even though she already knows the answer. "How about you take a nap and I'll wake you in a bit?"

You instantly huff. "What about going home?"

"In a little while," she promises, the hand on your hip coming up to rub your back. "I have a few things I need to finish up first."

"You work too much."

"You're the one who won't stop distracting me."

Your silence is just as effective at making her chuckle as your pout. She leans down to pepper kisses down your neck and across your shoulder.

"I'm kidding, baby. You know I love you."

"I know," you mumble as your sleepiness mixes with your shyness.

And it's true.

You might not be ready to say it, much less to be fully mated to her, but you know deep in your heart that she loves you.

Because you love her just as much.

[callsign-bunnie]

gazrudy omega/omega for the betterment of the world my friend

This took longer than it should have and I will admit, a fair amount of it was worldbuilding. Yes, for a oneshot.

--

Rodolfo had been a camboy, a male omega sexual streamer, since he was 19 years old. He’d been struggling to pay his way through college and so a friend, Soap Mactavish, had gotten him into it. The friend was also an omega, and he had made a fuck ton of money doing “pleasure streams” where he essentially got paid to play with himself while lonely, horny alphas would watch and tip him.

Like Rodolfo had said, Soap made a ton of money. An absurd amount of money. So, Rodolfo had tried it. He’d apparently been exactly what a bunch of these alphas were looking for, because his first stream had secured him several “regulars” through the site he was using.

Then, that site shut down and left a lot of the streamers without work. So, Rodolfo and Soap had combined Soap’s computer science degree and Rodolfo’s business management degree and they’d started their own site.

They didn’t want to deal with employment laws or anything, so only they used the site, but they had had plenty of regulars, two of which actively fund Rodolfo and Soap’s individual lifestyles, so they had had enough revenue to keep going. 

Soap eventually moved away from streaming to just doing videos and he had even done personal meets with a couple of his regulars, now doing regular meetings and “sessions” with the aforementioned alpha, Ghost, that basically was Soap’s Sugar Daddy, and so Rodolfo was still the primary streamer.

Or, he had been. Then, Gaz came into his life. Rodolfo had wanted a bigger apartment, but he didn’t want to live alone, and he wasn’t quite ready to take the plunge and allow Alejandro, his regular, to become his Sugar Daddy, yet, so he would need someone to help him pay rent.

Gaz was, at first, a quiet and shy omega. Rodolfo had only needed someone to cover 1/3 of the rent, and he’d figured it’d be easier to find someone that way. Gaz was new to the area, a transfer from a different college, and apparently the luxury apartment that Rodolfo had chosen was a dream come true for him, which…

Well, Rodolfo wouldn’t brag but it definitely was a fantastic apartment. 

And, he was a pleasant omega. Gorgeous, Rodolfo would say, and fairly funny once he got used to you. He kept the two rooms he rented clean and while he didn’t cook much, he was very forthcoming in compliments when Rodolfo did. 

Well, Gaz had lost his job around six months into their living situation, and this was around the same time Soap had stopped streaming. A gap in the website had been opened and Gaz had came to Rodolfo and asked if he could start streaming as well and they’d came to the agreement that Rodolfo would just take his portion of rent from the revenue and give him the rest.

Gaz had been very popular, right off the bat, just like Rodolfo. He was tall for an omega, but he was, as Rodolfo had mentioned, gorgeous. All legs, smooth skin, and while he was a bit shy on camera, a lot of the viewers had eaten it up, calling it refreshing from Soap’s sultry personality. (Soap had had a few things to say, but he’d ultimately agreed that Rodolfo could play sultry enough for the both of them and that Gaz was a bit of a change. He had not appreciated Rodolfo’s challenge of him going back to streaming, though.)

They’d never streamed together, though. The other omega made Rodolfo feel odd things… He’d never been quite sure he wanted to cross that line, unsure he’d be able to come back from it.  

-

“Classes were awful.” Gaz groaned and plopped down on the couch beside Rodolfo, using a towel to try his hair. “I don’t know what bug has been up my professor’s asses, but with the exception of Price and Laswell… Ugh, I don’t even know. I’m sick of them.”

Rodolfo laughed, softly, amused with his roommate. He’d graduated a few months previous and wasn’t sure he wanted to pursue his master’s, yet. He knew the website couldn’t be his career, forever, but he doubted he needed a master’s as a landing pad. “I do not miss classes.”

Gaz snorted and slammed back into the couch, just wearing a towel. “What are we watching?”

Rodolfo shrugged, looking away before his head got distracted. “Something random. It was suggested on the front of the streaming site, so I just stuck it on. Honestly, it’s garbage, might as well be on the Lifetime channel.”

Gaz “ahhed” and then sighed. “I should do some classwork I have, but I think if I looked at it, I might throw my laptop across the room, so I think I might skip out, tonight.”

Most were shocked when Gaz was revealed to be more of a jock than an academic. He had fantastic grades, he was in the more advanced courses, and he placed a lot of emphasis on keeping his mind sharp, but Gaz was also head of the omega’s volleyball team, played co-ed football, and just, generally, seemed to prefer sports. 

Rodolfo laughed, again. “That laptop is important for making money, so maybe don’t put it in jeopardy of being broken?”

“That was my thinking.” Gaz smiled at him and then he shrugged. “So, no homework tonight.” 

Then, the other omega stretched out, closing his eyes and yawning softly. Rodolfo’s eyes immediately went over his limbs, following every inch of skin, and he grasped at the blanket he was under. He didn’t know what to call this, was it a crush? Whatever it was, it was on his last nerves and he needed to stop having to deal with it. “Let’s order dinner.” Gaz suddenly said, opening his eyes. This startled Rodolfo, so he quickly looked away. “Are you… okay?”

Rodolfo found himself blushing dark and he looked at the ceiling. “Yeah. I’m fine.” When he looked at Gaz, Gaz didn’t look convinced. “Anyway, you said let’s order dinner?”

“Yeah…” Gaz narrowed his eyes for a moment before shrugging and getting out his phone. “Our usual?”

“Yeah, sure.” Rodolfo nodded a bit, trying his best to turn back to the TV and focus on it. “Are you planning on streaming tonight?”

“No. I made enough off the last that I think i’m gonna take a break, tonight.” Gaz answered and set his phone down, again. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know.” He’d just been curious. “Just… was asking.”

Gaz “ahhed” and then they fell into an awkward silence. Rodolfo really needed to get a handle on himself. “Have you gotten any consistent regulars? I haven’t checked in on your streams, lately.” It was getting too much to handle.

“Yes, actually… A couple. One, I feel bad, but I think he’s trying to become like Ghost and Alejandro is to you and Soap. He’s very sweet, nice to talk to.” Gaz explained. “Hasn’t told me his name, yet.”

Funnily enough, Rodolfo wasn’t that jealous. It’s what made his feelings even more complicated. Because he wouldn’t be jealous if Gaz found an alpha like he or Soap had. He certainly would if Gaz got into an actual relationship, but not something like that. Soap and Ghost’s relationship did verge on romantic but… it wasn’t committed.

Rodolfo nodded a bit. “He sounds good. Spoils you, I presume?”

“Completely.” Gaz smiled. “I don’t know, he seems lonely, I… I feel like I’m taking advantage of him. How do you and Soap not feel bad about Ghost and Alejandro?”

“Fuck,” Rodolfo winced. Alejandro was complicated… Alejandro was a childhood best friend… He did feel bad. “I do feel bad. It’s why I’ve tried to back away from it. I don’t know how Soap does it… Well, I think he really likes Ghost, I think that’s how.”

Gaz frowned and then sighed. “I love doing this, but… it gets so complicated on my emotions. So many lines constantly get blurred… I don’t know where to set my boundaries and where to take them down.”

Rodolfo agreed that it could get really complicated. So insanely complicated. “Trust me, I get it.” He looked away from Gaz, again grasping at the blanket. When the food arrived, he took a breath and got up to go get it, handing Gaz his and then hesitating. “I think I’m going to go eat in room and then go to bed early.”

Gaz frowned and then looked disappointed before nodding. “Alright. Sleep well, Rudy.”

Rodolfo nodded and then went to his room, taking a deep breath. God, he needed to get a handle on himself. He shook it off and just turned something on the tv, trying desperately hard to get his mind off the other omega. Gaz was right, things got so overwhelmingly complicated.

With Soap, with Alejandro, and definitely with Gaz. He wanted a ton of things he couldn’t exactly have and it drove him mad. It didn’t feel fair, sometimes, how complicated things could get. He didn’t want to be dealing with all of these feelings… 

He made a frustrated sound and just focused on eating and whatever shit movie he’d put on. He fought his mind to keep it off of his roommate, and to keep himself from going out to the living room and opening a door he wasn’t sure he’d be able to close.

When he finished eating, he put his leftovers in the little mini fridge he kept in his room, so he wouldn’t have to leave his room, and just tried to settle into bed, tired anyway. It did cross his mind to stream, but… he really didn’t feel like it. 

He jumped when he heard his door start to open, quickly sitting up, and frowning when Gaz came into his room. “Gaz, I-”

Gaz didn’t give him a chance to speak, crossing the room and climbing onto the bed, his mouth immediately on Rodolfo’s. It startled and shocked Rodolfo, but he couldn’t find himself shoving the other omega away, either. 

Gaz’s hands were all over Rodolfo, clumsy but in a desperate way, not an inexperienced way. Rodolfo didn’t fight him when he was shoved down into the bed, and he just moved his hands to grasp at Gaz’s arms as he moved to kiss his neck, and Rodolfo keened up into him.

“I- What are you doing?” Rodolfo asked, almost not expecting to receive an answer.

Gaz shoved his hands up Rodolfo’s shirt, causing him to shiver as his cold skin touched Rodolfo’s always warm skin. However, then he paused. “I… I like you. I know you like me too, and I want… us to acknowledge that.”

Rodolfo flushed dark and he moved to be able to look at Gaz, easier, before touching his face and kissing him again. He softened when the other omega just melted and then his hands were touching all over him, again. 

Eventually, they found between his legs, thrusting under his panties and Rodolfo gasped as fingers pushed into him. He was already so slick and he whined as Gaz’s long fingers worked in and out of his body, gladly accepted by it. “Fuck, Gaz…” he moaned, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

Gaz purred and nuzzled into Rodolfo’s neck, biting and kissing over the skin that was there. “You’re so pretty…” It was almost whined into his skin. He flushed dark red as he felt Gaz grind into his thigh and he quickly scented him, gasping at the harsh bite he earned in response. 

Rodolfo arched his back as Gaz’s fingers shoved deeper inside him, digging his nails into Gaz’s back and grinding his hips against his hand. Finally, Gaz scented him in return and he just melted as the sensation of a hot summer rain filled his senses, moving so he could bite into Gaz’s shoulder.

Gaz continued to grind into his thigh, in time with his hand movements, and he moaned Rodolfo’s name, which had his stomach doing odd things, flipping and squeezing. Rodolfo continued to grasp onto him, rocking against his hand and shifting his hips so he could push his leg up against Gaz. Gaz’s movements stuttered a bit, before they seemed to pick up in intensity.

It wasn’t long and Rodolfo was tensing as he came, arching his back up and into Gaz. Gaz came shortly after him, his hips stuttering and jerking. “Fuck…” Gaz whined when he was done and then he moved to the side, hugging onto Rodolfo and nuzzling him. 

Rodolfo melted into the bed, panting softly, before turning and curling up into the other omega. “That’s certainly a way to acknowledge feelings.” He finally teased, softly. “Maybe a conversation, next time, corazón?”

“Maybe…” Gaz laughed, softly. “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

No, Rodolfo certainly hadn’t been. And he wasn’t, now. He yawned. “Sleep in here, tonight…” he murmured, nuzzling into the other’s chest. “Please.”

Gaz just nodded. “I will…” He murmured, and then Rodolfo heard his breathing slow as he, presumably, dozed off. So, Rodolfo joined him, smiling softly as he did so.

--

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Ship: @the-pluto-828 @lieutenant-storm @roachboy @del79jji

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[mr-stottlemonk]

How do we feel about trudy? Personally i don't like her, or maybe i just got so sick of monk mentioning her every minute.

I really like the show but hated most moments that were about trudy.

I don't know it felt so awkward to watch. and i know shes his wife and it's hard to get over a lover dying but come on, 8 years. Its okay if he brings her up sometimes i just don't think it's necessary that they bring her every episode or so.

Also i don't really appreciate the way they portrayed ocd, I feel like the show would've been much better if they didn't exaggerate some things.

But that's just my opinion though! you may not agree and i hope i phrased my thoughts right because English isn't my first language

*long post so half of this will be under the cut!

**you phrased your thoughts just fine dear, no worries <3!!

when i started (re)watching Monk, i definitely felt my own heart ache for Adrian because loosing someone who you love that makes life look better, seem better and makes it out to be something you can manage is amazing. I loved that Monk truly loved his wife that much. It's hard letting go of someone who loved you for who you are and didn't try to turn you into something else. Or make you hate yourself even more.

About 5 seasons in though, the potrayal of her became more of something like... painting her out to be the perfect wife, woman and person - and while we can't exactly dispute that because we only get flashbacks, hallucinations, dream-like visions and the episodes at the end. No one is perfect and it did grow to be a bit tiresome.

At some point, you do realize that it turns to unhealthy dependency. On her. On the memory of her. On their past relationship. The years go by and Adrian is stuck in one place. And yes, there are episodes where he does make a bit of progress, ask other women out and tries to go out with them but then, it doesn't work out (it never will, that's always the transparent outcome).

Trudy stands for acceptance and love all through out the show. And the other characters (Natalie, Stottlemeyer, Sharona and later on, Randy) show that easily too.

Thing is though, with Trudy and a lot of other things; Monk does not have the proper coping mechanisms/processes etc. He's not that great at understanding his own emotions and letting things go. Though, that gets better over the course of the series.

Not towards Trudy though and partially, i definitely blame the writers. I would have loved to see more of Monk self-healing. Self-healing and accepting himself (which is fucking hard) but it would have been great to see a man so broken down and unable to move on finally love himself. There's a lot of self-albeism in the show that Monk sets on himself, toxic masculinity standards and self-esteem issues. And ofc, a whole lotta bunch of things.

And I'm ngl, the show tried their best to tackle that. I'd have loved more of dealing with that. But 2002-2009 shows aren't overally the best with that. By the sixth season I stopped paying much attention to it. I found the episode Mr. Monk Stays Up All Night a bit... too much, lmfao.

And the episode where they think she's alive also feels,, this or that. Though, i think such a situation happening was not entirely RARE back then. Missing/Dead people do turn up again... once in a blue moon.

and yes, definitely. as a person with adhd & ocd myself there are episodes where i did have to just pause and walk around my house or take a break (and sometimes even skip) because i felt a bit offended or among the lines of "err,,, that's not exactly how it is/works..." -> especially towards the episode Mr. Monk Takes His Medicine. Didn't like how they portrayed that at ALL. The group therapy episode was also a little iffy but i've never been to group therapy myself so I can't say much there.

They could have done better research, because there are some things that just seem so out of the blue you have to pause but there are also other things that hit you right IN THE FACE that you feel seen and heard for a moment. the show definitely helped me feel like there was a chance for things i struggle(d) with when i was younger. But then again, ocd research isn't that great currently either. :")

To add on to that though. I'm not sure if you've given Mr. Monk's Last Case a try but i don't think they improved much on it there either. It's tiresome, tbh, that when people think ocd they think it's all about aligining things, cleaning things... like gosh, no, a person with ocd can have a messy desk, mugs littered all about their room too... so the writers do lean into being lackluster in their potrayal of OCD.

there's also the thing where most of the time, it's not easy for people to actually SPOT someone with ocd. the show makes it out to be an oddity, struggle for willpower and startingly exaggerated sometimes. Which is a shame. Though, extenuating circumstances can definitely make it worse so, it's here and there too.

Anyway! i think i rambled off a bit too much... i do agree with you on this anon! that the focus on Trudy grew, in some episodes, to be over the top. But Adrian's commitment to her is quite heart-warming but right now, I do tend to skip over those episodes, lol. Unless there's a particular thing I feel like watching in either one of them.

thank you for very much for the ask!! i love discussing such topics haha. i hope i managed to convey my own opinions on the show and Adrian/Trudy.

<3.

[angstykay]

God I wish I hated you pt2

Not proof read

Weeks after the altercation the group exiled you all but the kids at least, school days have become your worst nightmare everything seems to exhaust you nowadays. Your mom is worried sick you've stopped eating and stopped smiling she says , waking up is exhausting you lost everything in that moment of weakness. It's a Saturday so you pull your sorry ass up and get ready for your shift at home video with Steve but you can bounce off Robin so you'll survive. You finish French braiding your hair and force the last bit of toast down so your mom will stop tracking and head out the door. While you drive Eddie's words are repeating in your head but as much as you know you screwed up Eddie wasn't innocent far from as far as you were concerned, you pull up and enter your place of work trying to put the events of the past month behind you.

*Yn welcome you look cheery today* Robin greets you as if she's had a million cups of coffee, *Morning people I hate them* Steve speaks mid yawn you chuckle and keep it professional with your boss but can't help but stay mad. You don't hate Steve just can't bare to speak to him on a friendship level right now maybe ever again, *you'll survive this Yn I got your back girl* Robin rubs your shoulder and smiles brightly at you. Robin has been your rock through this funny thing is you two have never been close but now she's been glued to your hip she picked a side and she's on yours and you're forever grateful now . You pack away the new records and graze against Eddie's favourite and immediately feel a break down happen you feel the tears and run past Steve and Robin to the break room and the crying doesn't ease, you drop to the floor and place your head in your knees. Robin runs in behind you and cradles you like Eddie would have done before her, *I miss him so much Buckley so fucking much that this pain consumes me I wake up and feel it go asleep and feel it just as much* her heart breaks seeing you like this. *Yn talk to him at least try to salvage this even a friendship to start with*. You reluctantly agree to try and talk one more time and go back to work.

 Mid-day 

You and Steve have been stealing glances all day he hasn't spoke to you about what happened because Robin scolded him for taking advantage which he hates himself for and feels so guilty, you smile at him when he tries to pick up everyone.*Break time Steven* you say as you log him out of the till and put your own id in , he takes a step back and frowns at you *Yn no take a longer break I'm fine here*. You push him away towards the break room *I'm fine * he walks away and turns back around to you .

*Talk later ?* he says quietly you nod your head and start serving customers for your busiest day it's quiet. The bell goes off alerting you that a new customer walked in your eyes are fixated on the news not paying attention as your in the last stretch of your shift. Robin makes a bee-line over you and mouths I'm sorry as she plants a bunch of old-time classics and the record that made you wanna die earlier for you to check out. You look up and make eye contact with your worst enemy you just get on with the sale not asking questions *Is that all today miss* she laughs , *oh Yn you poor thing*. *Guess you wanna know why I'm buying all this * she flicks her ponytail to start playing with it leaning over the counter, *I'm just doing my job* you try to stay calm even though the calming thought is attacking her . *I'm going over to Eddie's and he's gonna forget all about the pain you caused him he's all mine Yn* the smile on her face is gone replaced with a sour look she's here to pour salt in your massive wound. You ring her up *would that be all today* she goes to pull out her purse *oh by any chance do you sell condoms* that's the last straw you were about to start grabbing and start pulling teeth but Robin comes to your rescue *Yn evening break now please sick of the boss chewing my ass because you work your ass off* she says pushing you away from the till. The confusion on your face and you stare blankly at her because evening breaks aren't a thing but you take the hint and leave.

In the break room you see Steve listening in but you're in tears he wraps his hands around you and just holds you for awhile, then the panic attack happens you fall to the ground Steve reminds you to breathe and rubs your back also giving you space . You eventually calm down and get to your feet again but the feeling lingers and that bitch had to ruin your life all over again, Steve hands you a cup of tea *Yn I'm sorry for taking advantage of you I'm so fucking sorry this is all my fault*. You begin laughing at him weakly but it's the best thing you heard all day *you didn't take advantage of me you didn't lure me in I kissed you *, you hug him tightly *I forgive you and hope we can go back to the way we were nothing romantic because I don't love you Steve I love Eddie and he's gone* he runs his hand over your shoulder . Robin bursts through the door looking like she was ready to kill *you two lock up I have to pay a visit to a certain person* she walks out without saying another word. You and Steve look at each other and laugh *I'm glad she doesn't drive* he says mid laugh *come on let's lock up before we're next* you and Steve lock up as he soften the blow a little you head back to yours together and he swears he'll keep his hands to himself.

With Robin on her mystery adventure  

She's so annoyed from the smug look on Heathers face as she ask's her to take care of you, when she get's Munson she's gonna strangle him until he's gasping for air. She walks up to the trailer and bangs down the door *damn Buckley I thought you were the cops* she hears Heather enquire about who it was, *OUTSIDE NOW * she pulls him by his hair out of earshot. He whines as she has a tight grip on his hair *Heather really are you dumb biggest downgrade of the century by the way* he gets annoyed at her antics *at least she won't cheat on me* Robin hits his arm . *Okay you listen and listen good Yn is a shell of who she once was she misses you like crazy the girl is crazy for you Munson she's so sorry but you made her feel like you didn't care you don't know how much you hurt her so don't give me that crap* she takes a deep breath because of how fast she was talking. 

*She did it though I was giving her a taste of her own medicine and she kissed Steve the guy she told me not to worry about* Robin looks like she's gonna murder him here and now. *Fuck you Munson yes she may have slipped up but you emotionally cheated first she kissed Harrington and is beating herself up about it but you pat yourself on the back and now go sleep with her* she begins to walk away, *enjoy your whore Munson she paid Yn a visit today so stay the hell away from Yn*. He stands there for a moment and then walks to Robin briskly and ushers her towards his van *inside now Buckley*. He pulls her into the van and starts driving just as frantically as you did that night Robin is screaming at him to slow down, *What the hell are you doing * she shrieks. Eddie starts tapping the wheel *tell me what happened today Buckley Heather came over I didn't invite her*, Robin sees the pain she saw in you in him and she knew he still loves  you.

Back with you and Steve  

*I'm sitting here away from you so don't jump me* he sits down and laughs *I change my mind you can go I hate you again* you plop yourself on the couch and point to the door. The microwave dings and you stand up to get it put are put back in your seat as Steve heads to your kitchen. You laugh to yourself maybe being single isn't that bad when you have this kind of support, you hear screeching outside you peak out to see Eddie's van he's here to get his stuff but then robin steps out. You open your door and allow them both inside for a moment there's silence *hey * he finally speaks you nod your head and await more. Steve pops his out and sees the you two in awkward silence and wished he stayed back in the kitchen *seriously Yn never-mind forget it*, he begins to walk out and you chase after him.

You finally have the courage to speak *how dare you Eddie* he tries to but in but you're not backing down you found your voice and will be dammed if you were not gonna use it today. your face is flushed with anger body radiating from it *now I apologized for what I did it was a stupid mistake but for you to sit there and judge me and take everyone away from me and not acknowledge what you did is a joke*. You feel such relief as you gasp for air finally let out everything *Yn I've been such an idiot yes you fucked up but I did too I'm sorry* he tries to hold you but you pull away. You drag him inside and look at your two friends *out now* you practically scream at them they run out of your voice leaving you and Eddie alone.

You sit down *so Heather huh you two do it yet ?* he places your head on his shoulder flicks your nose *ew no I did not do it with her * for a moment there is a feeling of peace between you two as your resting on his shoulder again you feel safe and at home.  After a moment Eddie takes a deep breath * Yn I'm sorry we both fucked up I can't imagine you not being in my life you're a pain in my ass but god I love everything about you* he cups your face in his hands tears forming in both of your eyes,*I let the constant jealously get a hold of me and I did it to show you how I felt*. You shush him *Eddie I'm glad you have finally come to your senses my love friends ? * you reach out your hand to shake his but he pulls you into the biggest tightest hug just before you pull away he pulls you by your waist for your lips to touch. In that second everything felt normal you had your person back *screw being friends I want you and only you forever*. He plants kisses all over your face slowly moving down to the sweet spot on your neck , you wrap your hands into his hair and as you straddle  him taking charge *You know we have an hour till my mom gets home * you giggle with a flirtatious tone in your voice luring him upstairs. *Lead the way sweetheart let me really take care of you this time * he winks at you as he practically chases you up the stairs to you your bedroom.

Weeks later  

The guys have missed you they express their gratitude for making Eddie himself again and about you are the glue that holds this group together . You enter the cafeteria hand intertwined with Eddie's before you go to sit down, you make eye contact with Heather she looks at you and Eddie and the look of defeat on her face is glorious and it just gets better and better each time. While you have the chance you take advantage of the moment and kiss him just to remind her who he belongs to , *Yn don't be petty * he wraps his hand around your waist and laughs as you continue to walk over to the guys . Heather stopped being apart of the group when Eddie ripped her a new one for creating a false narrative and shutting her down for good this time. Everything has gone back to normal Steve and Robin remain by your side you and Eddie have been domestic bliss ,ever since and you've even start mocking the boys who hit on you now to show him you're not interested in anyone but him. 

Hope you enjoyed the ending sadly no smut just fluff and angst and I opened a request box so feel free to start requesting what genre or if you think of anything you want explored till next time..............  

[brett-is-afraid]

Ok ok hear me out

With the whole marriage bit being a continued thing I have Some Thoughts™️(aka i am going feral and came up with a whole fic here lmfao)

I also don't know whether I'm meant to censor names in asks so uhh if I am I'm sorry!

So so Tommy, Tubbo and Scott are privately dating. (Wilbur and Ranboo know because they are trusted) Scott suggested the whole "joke marriage" to Tommy and he ran with it because he was kind of sick of hiding it. Anyway, he decides to film it because he needs something to film anyway.

So the day arrived and Tubbo is more upset at the fact it's being filmed. He wanted it to be more hidden but at the same time, it was kind of nice to not have to fully hide it but he knew that their relationship was still hidden to the public.

Tommy continues the bit and Tubbo thinks it's funny so he goes along with being "upset" about it. Basically just so he can cover the actual relationship up more. Tommy is being the least subtle he's ever been.

Phil has no idea what's going on and decides to talk to them about it because this is kind of a strange bit for them to do and keep up with. They tell him that they think it's funny but Phil still thinks something is going on so he talks to Scott who has seemingly gotten closer to them recently.

He, of course, says basically the same thing. It's Tommy and Tubbo. They're high energy and enjoy stupid bits. This isn't really that weird of them. Phil really isn't convinced and knows Wilbur would tell him so he asks Wilbur who says the same thing but is acting strange throughout the whole conversation.

Eventually, Tubbo slips up on stream. He's doing a chatting stream and a few people are asking about the bit and he says something along the lines of "You know that's based on, like, my actual relationship with Tommy, right chat?" So Tommy joins and says that's not true actually. That was a joke. Mhm. They are not dating. Tubbo goes along with Tommy saying that.

Chat is going insane at this point. Are they together? Are they not together? None of them know.

Phil was watching the stream in the background while he worked on stuff. He started paying attention when Tubbo said that, though. After the stream, he asked Tubbo about it.

"It was a joke, Phil. We obviously aren't together."

"Why was Tommy being so defensive about it?"

"..."

"Tubbo."

"Maybe he didn't want people to ship us?"

"... Tubbo. Honestly you are both doing horrible at hiding this if you are together."

"Yeah. Yeah we are."

Tommy and Tubbo then end up moving in together. They continue as normal but neither of them say that they live together publicly. Phil, Wilbur and Ranboo do know.

At some point, Tubbo and Tommy are streaming separately at the same time and Tommy yells loudly as he does and Tubbo's stream hears it. Tubbo acts like he doesn't know what chat is talking about but it definitely doesn't help the dating allegations.

Scott visits them and they all do a stream together on Scott's twitch. It's a "repurposed" throuple game of some sort. Scott tries his best to bite his tongue and not flirt with them, Tubbo is trying to get through the stream without accidentally leaking that they're dating and Tommy is actually flirting.

"Out of your throuple, who is the best at cooking?"

"Well you're a sn- Really good cook, Tubbo."

"I think you've got it wrong. Toby's the snack."

"Thanks Tommy. That just sounds like you're going to eat me alive."

"Maybe I'm going to ;)"

"Alright, next question-"

As they start hinting more and more they get more and more frustrated with the fact that the majority of their fans take their flirting as Straight Guy Friendship Goals™️

Phil and Wilbur keep telling them to make a vlog or something about their relationship because there are people who know and it would be easier that way.

They in fact don't do that. They did film another video similar to the wedding one, though! They went to America for "their honeymoon". They went to a bunch of little date spots with Scott (a picnic, a cafe, a fancy restaurant, etc) and filmed it.

.

[the-firebird69]

See there are few incidents that happened today that are unacceptable here. One of them is causing our son distress about Social Security and accessing accounts inappropriately and it is the Social Security count even though it's on the right day it said it was delivered on the first and that's a lie. So it's the key bank account we are going after them for it and they are pushing them out that's a pseudo empire. And they're pushing them out right now and they're going to go and try and create a buffer zone around the bank to keep crazy people out and they let people that live there in it's like a war zone basically. And our son says I'm sending Erkel in they said Please don't he said he's gotta go somewhere I heard it was a black area is it is not and don't send him here OK. It's a fun day defending it that's a good job it's perks like it's a lot easier to survive they get that but the Trump Stripes are going to attack and they're saying with serious hardware so these guys are thinking of using something. There's a couple other things but that's big but they are going to beat the crap out of them and we're going to join in we're sick of this animal ****.

- Other things going on they plan to counter everything in anything that goes towards the rings they're going to expand them tonight and up to Tampa and they will create a line between Sarasota and Tampa and they mean to for real they don't want people going down in the rings from there they're going to increase the watch on the ocean onto a serious level they're going to try and get the black ship out and they have objectives It started happening today that they said we're just kind of **** around with them and getting hurt they see other people nailing them and it works so that's happening and tonight tommy Allen is going into the city the crappy cities trump is going down from the crappy cities trump is also going down into the continental caverns they're also going to and that's the more lock attack the Pseudo Empire and this hemisphere all over and they're going after bunkers mostly. We suspect when Trump figures out that it's the max from the continental caverns that they are going to try and launch attacks from the crappy cities.

= Other news there are people who are gathering around this area and need to be moved out and we mean they're gathering around the neighborhood no the gathering around Charlotte County. And the sun is remembering from the idiot next door trying to get him to sell him houses he does my own or land or something. That there's a lot of vacant lots here there's a lot of them. There are probably 30% of the places vacant lots and there's probably another 10 to 15 percent or I think 20% houses for sale there's a lot of space here unfortunately no it's coming in and it's not a good sign to be left with a bunch of weirdos and the pseudo empire can't stand in here we almost feel like telling to go **** **** 'cause there's so lame,

- There are a couple other things happening and they're pretty big we have a huge number of people interested in my husband's birthday and they almost forgot no they're trying to send letters but it was not really huge it was huge it's like a couple billion a day now it's gonna be gigantic and they'll get letters here and they take it to distribution in Fort Myers or Tampa and they sit on it or they take it somewhere and those people are gonna get beat up and so whole bunch of idiots this is a lot of fun. There is another group trying to give it to me ohh yeah OK and my husband says if you feel threatened into paying me it's not my problem and if you pay me it's kind of saying it wasn't because of a threat. And I agree and this is Hera

- That was terror and that was Hera She's doing pretty good we're attacking the fleet before they go anywhere a lot of people are everything is getting a little proactive with these numb skulls. There's this T Rex S3 it's not expensive it's a Chinese knockoff of a standalone three wheel rev car motorcycle they're modifying them on the West Coast not just in San Francisco they ordered a ton of them yesterday they're coming in in a few days and they're going to drive them around some will try and turn them into cars. A lot of people on Earth are gonna buy these it's gonna be Humongous we do feel it's our sons first car. For a long time. And he doesn't drive it as a motorcycle no, He is intent on making a kit we hear and he has a place so he he thinks he moves and it's true to a house. The house might have a garage and there is probably nothing in it and he doesn't want Garth movie in but that's not wide we heard it's not even asking. No he's asking so he's trying to do that and it happened a day a little so there has to be a kit and there are several for turning it into a car they have some that have independent suspension and we do recommend it and it looks nice. There's other things that we're gonna print

Thor Freya

Olympus

[timeoverload]

I'm still crabby. I am so drained. My cases got done around 4 and I had so much to do afterward so I stayed 15 minutes late. I didn't get everything done but at least the important stuff is out of the way.

I wanted to stay longer but I couldn't stay in that room anymore. The autoclave repair man came in to replace the gasket on one of the big autoclaves and he fucked up. He scraped a bunch of the rust off the inside of the chamber with a brillo pad and didn't clean it up. He told us it was good to go and then he left without running a test cycle first. We have to run a bowie dick test after any repairs so they started the cycle and after a couple minutes rust particles started spraying out of the vents and it went everywhere. I have never seen that happen before and I didn't think that was possible. The rust was aerosolized by the heat and steam. I'm glad that my station is on the opposite side of the room and none of my stuff got dirty.

It doesn't help that the autoclaves haven't been cleaned in like a year. They are supposed to have a company come in to clean them regularly but I don't think the hospital has wanted to pay for it because I'm sure it's expensive. At this point it is a safety issue but my boss told me the company is going to come in over the weekend to do that. I used to have to clean them but it's dangerous. I remember having to crawl inside the chamber when it was still warm and having to scrub it down with a very toxic and corrosive cleaner. I wasn't given a respirator to wear. I refuse to do that ever again because I'm claustrophobic and it's scary. It's hot and I felt so sick every time I had to do that. I am looking forward to them getting cleaned because I'm tired of people coming in our department and asking why it smells like cigarettes or fireworks and having to tell them why. It's gross and unacceptable. My nose is still burning and I feel weird.

I still haven't been talking to the morning team lead much which is fine. I overheard a surgical tech ask him if he found a new facility yet. He said that he did find one in Iowa. I'm not sure what he meant by that. He hasn't told anyone in our department that he's looking for a new job but I understand that. He hasn't said anything about putting in his 2 weeks yet but I have a feeling it's coming soon. He has been very quiet. I think he realized that he can't redeem himself at this point and that nobody wants to be around him. He crossed the line too many times. Honestly I think he is getting what he deserves for being a bully.

I still haven't heard whether I can take PTO or not. This should not be an issue. I don't request days off very often because it takes a long time to build up my hours. They might only approve Wednesday and that would be annoying because I hate going to work after getting tattooed. I am not calling in. I guess I should be grateful if they allow me to have any time off. This is stressing me out. I don't know why everything has to be so damn hard all the time. I wish I could catch a break.

Anyway, it's good to be home. I haven't eaten anything today because I didn't have enough time and I'm not hungry. I will probably start feeling jittery soon so I need to find something to eat even though I don't want to. I'm glad I went to the store yesterday. I have no desire to do anything the rest of the night. I think I need to focus on making myself happy right now. I'm planning on going to bed early. I am going to try to enjoy the rest of my evening.

I hope everyone else has a good night too. 💖💖💖

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Introspection.

Always between the lines.

Always, always, always read between the lines. 4-29-23

“Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?

You've been out ridin' fences for so long now

Oh, you're a hard one

I know that you got your reasons

. . . .

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger

Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home" - the Eagles

This ~ signifies a new note, but when I say read between the lines, I'm talking about these lines " ". lol

~ Compassion and empathy tend to reside in the grayer parts of life more than in the black n white areas.

~ People always say things like "If I knew then what I know now, man, look out".

But aside from Toby Keith you rarely, if ever, hear "If I didn't know now, what I didn't know then".

The one is because of the gains that would come from what we only know as hindsight now. Lol It's because we'd eliminate all struggle and jump straight to the end of each . . .whatever.

The other is asking for more of an "ignorance is bliss" type of thing, but wouldn't that way ensure more struggle?

I'm hoping to get some gains as well, as I keep notes over the next few days.

As of right now, the reward without the work isn't where I'm at in life.

Granted I'll sometimes let others pay for my meal, but I'm not looking for a bunch of free stuffs. That includes my life lessons. Lol no lol

And I don't say that because if I went back and changed things I'd lose me. I'm afraid I'd lose people and relationships I have now, or had before. I'm cool on all that. I'm just fine right where I am.

Also, please don't misunderstand me. I'm not asking for more struggles either. I just mean I can handle the ones I have and I'm grateful for the ones I had, because of the how and especially the why.

~ I do fairly well at making the most, and best, out of every situation I get dealt. At least I feel like I do.

Acceptance of the real helps with the peace. Which, in turn, looks and feels like positivity most of the time.

Handling it.

What's that one saying, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough"?

I'm grateful because it is all privilege.

I'm kind because I've felt cruelty.

I love because I've felt hate from inside and outside of myself.

And smart enough to know I could lose everything in a fucking second, and it wouldn't even have to be my fault.

~ 10 years.

10 years is coming up quicker than I'd have ever thought it would . . .10 years ago.

Time moved painfully slow at first. Now we're here though, and I've gained more than my fair share.

~ My insurance company came back and offered me a joke for the loss of my truck after they totaled it. Luckily, I have an old friend out in the country for a win, and . . .I get to keep my truck.

I have more wins than losses because of the people in my life. Win/win

Measure and judge people by their individual character and the content of their heart and you'll probably do better in life. (Keep your boundaries though. Lol)

~ I guess before I close this up I need your assistance again. If you pray, will you, and if not can we just all keep my oldest son in our positive thoughts and in our hearts, as he is about to embark on a yearlong and extensive care program down in the Ozarks. This is the step that could lead to the next one. That’s all I’m sayin’.

Like I said before compassion and empathy tend to reside in the gray parts of life more than in the black n white areas.

Remember to share your love and your laughter with the world around. And be kind as always as you can, civil where you can’t. Also, keep your hypocritical judgments to your fucking self. I’m getting sick at looking out for people who claim almighty, just for them turn out. . .not what they preach. It gets old. Seriously.

Until next week;

"You know I've always been a dreamer (spent my life running round)

And it's so hard to change

Can't seem to settle down

But the dreams I've seen lately

Keep on turning out and burning out and turning out the same

So put me on a highway

Show me a sign

Take it to the limit

One more time" - From Take it to the Limit by the Eagles

[sca-nerd]

I was just thinking about my old elementary school crossing guard, Mr. Parker.

He was such an incredibly sweet and kind man. He was older, clearly retired but working; eitherto  have something to do or because he needed the income - I don't know for sure. I do know that he loved his job, though. He knew all of the kids names, he asked us about how school was going, he asked if a sibling was sick if they weren't with you, he complimented the new bikes kids got for Christmas that we were riding to school for the first time. When he was out and a Sheriff's Deputy was taking his place, EVERY kid would ask where Mr. Parker was and if he was okay. When holidays came around, Mr. Parker was included. He got Christmas presents and cards, Valentine's, and Halloween candy the same as anyone else. He was such an important and legendary figure in our lives.

Mr. Parker was always very soft spoken and friendly and treated all of the kids with dignity and respect. He just asked us to follow the rules: stay behind him while we waited and do not enter the cross walk until he waved you in. Reasonable for a bunch of elementary kids. He would remind you to WALK your bike across the street, not ride it. I can only remember once or twice when a kid didn't listen, and he used a sterner tone while he explained that he didn't want any of to get hurt because he cared about each and every one of us. Drivers weren't to be trusted, but Mr. Parker was our defender.

No car was permitted to be even an INCH over the line in the cross-walk with Mr. Parker. He would wave cars back out of the line and wait until they were out of the way before allowing us to enter the cross-walk. I do remember him blasting the whistle very loudly while continuing to wave cars back occasionally. Upon reflection, I am pretty sure he was shielding our young ears from the language of the driver who didn't care to be corrected.

Mr. Parker carried a very large metal stop sign that he would weild like a sword. While it was more shield shaped, we never saw him use it in defense. One time we saw him use it as a weapon.

Mr. Parker's Kingdom was inside the boundaries of that cross-walk, and he defended those who occupied it with fervor and bravery. Once after school, a crowd of us were waiting to cross when the lights changed, and he stepped out and raised his sign. Checking all of the lanes to make sure no one was moving, he raised his hand to wave us out when a car came speeding into the turn lane, and braked hard in front of Mr. Parker.

Rather than jump out of the way, Mr. Parker jumped in front of the car as he blew his whistle, like a knight charging the enemy. The stop sign slammed down on the hood of the car with such force that every single child jumped, and some of us screamed. The sweet, kind, patient Mr. Parker was transformed into something fiersome. He was no longer a 70 year-old retired man with a reflective vest and a whitle. He was a fearsome warrior - a knight who was prepared to fight and defend anyone who threatened his people.

"What are you doing? These are CHILDREN!" I remember him yelling forcefully, smacking the hood of the car repeatedly, driving it back and away from the crosswalk. The driver opened their door and stood up to yell at Mr. Parker for hitting their car, but he still didn't back down. "I would rather hit your car than have you hit one of these kids!"

Everyone was quiet, but very clearly paying attention. We didn't know what would happen, but we were not going to miss watching it. Mr. Parker squared up in the center of the cross-walk, help up his stop sign, and waved us across; telling all of us to hurry. Once we were all across (in record time), we of course loitered on the other side, waiting to see what would happen between Mr. Parker and the driver.

Rather than a huge confrontation, Mr. Parker lowered his stop sign, and moved back across the street take his position on the sidewalk. The driver made their turn and drove away, leaving Mr. Parker standing there to greet the next group of kids making their way home. He was still Mr. Parker, our crossing guard, but he was also so much more now. We all chatted excitedly about what we had seen, and recounted the story when we got home to our parents.

It made an impression. He made an impression. I have known people who have done just as Mr. Parker did - stepped in to defend and protect the vulnerable, but none of them made the lasting impression that he has. In my adult life, I have known true Knights as well as those who should be called Knights. Mr. Parker was a True Knight.

And I have no doubt that he would have made one hell of a heavy fighter.

[ncssian]

A Favor: Part Twenty-One

Nessian Modern AU

Masterlist

a/n: as someone who is physically incapable of reading fics and other long tumblr posts line by line and word for word, i think it’s so fucking cool that a bunch of you regularly, excitedly read what i post. i would not blame you at all for skim reading. thank you.

***

The majority of Cassian’s life was spent battling with the fact of his own existence. First he was fatherless, then motherless, then homeless. Being taken in by Rhys’s parents, who bought him nice clothes and nicer gifts, was like putting a bandaid over a stab wound. It couldn’t change the questions that made up Cassian at his core: was he equal to everyone else in this world, or had he been born inherently inferior? Did he deserve the same happinesses that his friends so carelessly reaped, or should he step back and know his place?

The older he grew, the more he grappled with those questions—until the night he learned who his father was, and the truth behind his existence. That he was likely a product of rape. Nearly driving himself drunk off a mountainside in Monte Carlo was enough to make him realize with a startling clarity: he couldn’t keep asking himself the same questions for the rest of his life. At some point, he was going to have to buck the fuck up and make his peace with the world, whether he believed he deserved to be in it or not. And though it might have taken him a while to reach that conclusion, Cassian can proudly say he did it. Not long into his post-college years, Cassian finally grew up.

By twenty-seven, he was secure enough in himself and his place in the world to not have to deal with those doubtful voices every waking minute. His life was figured out, and his ego was unshakeable. Until Nesta Archeron entered the story.

Now at twenty-eight, Cassian is again unsecured—this time in a less tragic but more confusing way. Because everything he thinks he knows about himself, about life, she insists on proving wrong.

Including the issue of celebrating his birthday.

“I feel like I should have asked this earlier,” Cassian mutters to Nesta as they stand in the cozy resort lobby, “but why is Az here?”

Nesta looks both humiliated and resigned when she mutters back, “He wouldn’t pay for the resort unless I let him come with us.”

“At that point you should’ve just let me pay, babe.” He watches Azriel’s back as he chats up the lady at the front desk while getting their room keys.

“On your own birthday? It would have ruined the point,” Nesta says.

Cassian doesn’t retort that having his brother present at their couple’s retreat also ruins the point. He’s sure she already knows.

Nesta’s reaction when Cassian told her that he didn’t celebrate his birthday was unforgettable.

“No one in our inner circle really cares about birthdays,” he had shrugged. “Feyre’s birthday is the exception because she’s sort of the outsider, and Rhys will find any excuse to worship at her feet. But the rest of us? I don’t know, it was never a big deal.”

As someone who’s never skipped a birthday once in her life, even when she was isolated and ignoring her family’s phone calls, Nesta took this as a personal offense. “I need to get you out of this cabin,” she stated.

Which brings them here, to Colorado’s finest ski resort situated high in the Rocky Mountains. The lobby is littered with overstuffed armchairs and a crackling fireplace, and huge windows look out over the blinding white mountains.

Az starts heading their way, key cards in hand, when Cassian suddenly turns to Nesta. “We need to find him a woman,” he whispers.

“What?”

“We can’t let him third wheel with us for the whole weekend. We’ll never get time alone.” Cassian is set on this new plan, already scanning the lobby for women around Azriel’s age.

“I agree, but—”

Azriel reaches the two of them, tossing a room card to Nesta. “You can stop talking about me now. I’ll be spending most of my time hitting the slopes.”

Cassian and Nesta mumble a halfhearted, “We weren’t talking about you.”

He narrows his eyes at them. “Uh-huh. Just remember whose credit card this is going on.” Picking up his ski gear and duffel bag, he turns for the elevator.

Nesta frowns up at Cassian once Az is gone, more adorably than she probably intends. “Do you think he’s upset?”

He scoffs. “We should be upset at him.” He doesn’t want to have to worry about his brother while he’s on vacation, and Az definitely wouldn’t want him to worry either, but it isn’t something that can be helped.

Despite his irritation, he might go skiing with Az later this afternoon. Just to keep him company.

***

Nesta will give it to Azriel—he’s a man of fine taste, and also generous with his spending. She originally wanted a normal room for her and Cassian, preferably the cheapest one, but Az went behind her back and upgraded them to a fully decked out penthouse suite.

“This is too much for just a weekend,” she tells him over the phone while Cassian is in the bathroom. “How am I supposed to pay you back for this?”

“Why would you pay me back?” he says dismissively. “I’m rich.”

When Nesta tries arguing with him, he only replies, “I don’t take money from poor people,” and hangs up on her.

Which leaves Nesta to enjoy the four-spray shower and heated bathroom tiles free of charge. By the time she comes out of the shower, Cassian has already left with Azriel to hit some slopes before dinner, though not before leaving her a note promising to teach her how to ski tomorrow.

Nesta doesn’t even get to unwrap her towel from her body before realizing her phone is ringing incessantly, all the way from the other side of the suite. Jogging over to the living area, Nesta answers Emerie’s call. “What’s up?”

“Where are you?” Emerie greets without introduction.

“At the ski lodge?” Nesta answers, confused. “I already told you, for Cassian’s birthday.”

“I know that,” Emerie hisses. “I mean what room are you in? This place is huge.”

“Wait—you’re here?” Nesta looks quickly around herself, as if Emerie will pop up from behind the couch.

“Not just me. So is Gwyn.” Nesta hears rustling on the other side of the line, and then Emerie saying from a distance, “Answer for your crimes, Gwyneth. Say hi.”

A new, clearer voice comes over the phone. “Hiii, Nesta.” Gwyn sounds weak, like she is not having fun at all.

“What the hell do you two think you’re doing?” Nesta demands.

“Well, it’s a long story and I need to see you first. Also, I have to pee. Where is your room?”

Five minutes later, Gwyn and Emerie are sitting obediently before the roaring fireplace in Nesta and Cassian’s suite.

Now fully dressed, Nesta stabs a finger at Emerie. “Explain.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Emerie says indignantly. “Gwyn barged into my place at eight in the morning and dragged me all the way here—”

“It was an emergency!” Gwyn tosses her hands in the air. “It still is an emergency. That’s why we’re here.”

“I’m here because Gwyn is scared of traveling alone,” Emerie interjects. “And driving on highways.”

“Guys!” Nesta snaps.

Gwyn makes a whining sound of defeat and drops her head into her hands. After a long moment, she speaks. “He asked if we could go to dinner together. Like, right to my face. And I panicked and said yes, because I couldn’t think of a reason to say no, but obviously I can’t do that. So this morning I cashed in my sick days and told him I was going on vacation for a whole week.” Gwyn looks up at Nesta with pleading teal eyes. “Please can we stay here the whole week?”

Nesta stares at Gwyn, feeling like her brain was just sucked dry. “First of all, who’s ‘he’?”

“Max!” She stands in her outburst. “The love of my life. The man who works on the fourth floor of the library. Do you pay attention to the groupchat at all?”

Oh yeah, that guy. “You came all the way here,” Nesta drawls out slowly, “so you wouldn’t have to have dinner with your crush?”

“It wasn’t just any dinner.” Gwyn flops back onto the couch. “It was a date. I can’t go on a date with him. First dates lead to second dates, and second dates lead to—sex.” She whispers the last word.

“Really?” Emerie frowns, not missing a beat at the mention of Gwyn’s deepest fear. “What kind of dates have you been having?”

“I haven’t been having any dates,” Gwyn says. “Why, how long do you usually see someone before doing it?”

“First date, at most,” Emerie shrugs.

“No,” Nesta steps in, sending Emerie a bewildered look. “Gwyn, you’ve known this guy for a while now. If he’s half as decent as you think he is, he won’t expect sex by the second date. And even if he does—”

“What does it matter?” Gwyn wails. “It’ll come up eventually. And when it does, he’ll think I’m a freak.”

“He won’t get a chance to think anything before I kill him,” Emerie says, eyes darkening.

Nesta says nothing, knowing this is something she can’t advise Gwyn about. Whether or not Gwyn chooses to share her past and unresolved trauma with another man, and whether or not that man reacts in an unshitty way isn’t something Nesta can determine. So she just states for the record, “You’re not a freak.”

“But it’s what he’ll think.”

“Then you shouldn’t be with him in the first place,” Nesta says firmly. Even though she knows better than anyone that it isn’t always that simple.

Proving her point, Gwyn scoffs and looks away. “You don’t get it.”

“What I really don’t get,” Nesta says, “is why you took your lie so literally. Why did you come all the way out here instead of hiding out at home for the week?”

“Merrill sees and knows everything. I can’t lie to her.” Gwyn cringes. “If I stayed at home, she would sniff me out as soon as she got me on the phone, and then I’d really be screwed.”

Nesta cocks her head at Gwyn, squinting her eyes in something akin to fascination.

“I had the same reaction,” Emerie pipes up. She shakes her head at Gwyn. “I’ve never met a more melodramatic idiot, truly.”

Gwyn curls into herself on the couch, looking ashamed.

Nesta sighs sharply, then whips out a hand. “Give me your wallets. I’ll go downstairs right now and see if I can book a room last minute.”

Emerie sits up at that. “Uh… I’m not sure I can afford a place like this.”

“Neither can I,” Nesta says. “That’s why Azriel paid for all of us.”

Gwyn’s eyes go comically round. “Azriel’s here?”

“Unfortunately.” She snaps her fingers at both girls. “Credit or debit, now.”

“So… I’m assuming we can’t just share this huge suite with you guys, huh?” Gwyn says hesitantly.

There might be actual flames in Nesta’s eyes. This is Cassian’s birthday, goddammit. Cassian, who hasn’t celebrated a birthday since he was eleven. “Please don’t push me.”

Gwyn and Emerie, very reluctantly, hand their cards over to Nesta. Emerie hands over two, just in case.

In the end, Nesta doesn’t use any of their money, but charges the new room to her own account. She’ll work it off by putting extra hours into Night Court, she tells herself.

When she returns to the penthouse suite, she spies tracks outlined in melted snow at the doorway. Shit. She barges inside to find Cassian and Azriel standing in the middle of the living area, with Emerie looking awkward on the couch.

“Uh, we just got back—” Cassian starts.

“I can explain,” Nesta interrupts.

A faucet turns off in the distance, and Gwyn peeks her head out of the bathroom door.

“Oh, shit,” Azriel says in delight. “Freckles is here too?”

Gwyn looks like she’s about to turn right back around to the bathroom. Nesta and Cassian both throw Az a baffled look, but Nesta says, “I can fix this. I’ve already fixed it.” She goes over to Emerie and hands her a key card. “You and Gwyn are going to stay on the first floor, and you won’t bother me or Cassian for the duration of our stay. It’ll be like you’re not even here.” She whips toward Gwyn, who still hovers near the bathroom doorway. “And at the end of this weekend, you’re going back to work like the adult you are and taking care of your shit.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Gwyn says quietly, lowering her head.

Cassian comes over to Nesta, whispering, “So, you didn’t invite them to keep Az company or anything, right?”

“I can hear you,” Azriel says.

“Of course not,” Nesta whispers back. “That’s a terrible idea.”

“Really? Because I thought it was kind of convenient—”

“I can still hear you,” Az repeats.

“So can I,” Emerie nods.

“Shut up,” Nesta hisses at the both of them. Grabbing Cassian’s still-gloved hand, she drags him upstairs and away to their bedroom. When the door shuts behind them, she turns to him and blurts, “I’m so sorry.”

Cassian only laughs, taking his ski jacket off and brushing away the wet snow from the back. “I’m not.” He tosses his jacket and gloves over a chair and approaches Nesta, tugging her closer by her oversized turtleneck. “And what did I tell you about wasting your apologies?”

Nesta doesn’t care. “I ruined your birthday.”

“My birthday’s not until tomorrow,” he says with a straight face. “But honestly, I like this a lot more than just you, me, and Az. At least he can’t third wheel anymore, right?”

She shakes her head insistently, frustration boiling in her blood. “Everything’s going wrong.”

“But you solved our problems.” He finds Nesta’s clenched fists and unfurls them with gentle hands. “You got the girls their own room, and now Az can be distracted with those two. We can still be alone. We win.”

Nesta purses her lips, unconvinced, when Cassian adds, “But seriously, though—what the fuck are they doing here?”

She exhales deeply, letting her head drop forward onto Cassian’s chest. “I don’t know,” she mutters. “Gwyn panicked about some personal stuff and thought it was a good idea to come to me. I don’t want to make her leave, though.” Gwyn is being stupid right now, without a doubt, but Nesta won’t abandon her. Neither will Emerie.

God, having friends sucks.

Cassian threads a hand through her loose hair and hums. “Gwyn was smart for coming to you.”

***

Dinner is held outside in the snow and cold, but everyone bundles up and sits down at a table that surrounds one of the multiple fire pits in the courtyard. Cassian convinced Nesta to let Gwyn and Emerie hang out with them for the weekend, because what else are those poor girls supposed to do, and now the women babble over each other as they decide what to drink.

Cassian sits back and takes it in, the sight feeling heartwarmingly familiar and strangely brand new at the same time. Nesta ends up being the one to order everybody’s drinks, and once the waiter scampers back inside, Gwyn releases a terse breath. “Sometimes I still get scared of that tone.”

“I’m always scared of it,” Az mutters, eyeing Nesta from the corner of his eye.

“What tone?” Cassian laughs. He knows Nesta is still a little wound up from her plans going off the rails, but she hasn’t done anything scary.

“I’m used to it,” Emerie says through a mouthful of fries, “but I think that waiter almost cried.”

“That’s how I sound all the time.” Nesta shrugs, sitting back.

“What tone?” Cassian repeats.

Nesta clicks her tongue impatiently. “You know how I talk. I’m straightforward.”

“And harsh,” Azriel adds. “Even aggressive.”

“Watch it.” Gwyn turns stern eyes onto him over the fire pit.

“I have no idea what you all are talking about,” Cassian says. He turns to Nesta. “You sound perfectly normal to me.”

She narrows her perfect brows at him, and Emerie laughs, “I don’t know if that’s romantic or ignorant.”

But now that they’re discussing it, Cassian does distinctly remember Nesta having a sharp edge to her words while they were getting to know each other. Did it disappear over time, or has he really stopped noticing it?

He doesn’t get to think about it before their drinks arrive, followed soon by a dinner of fancy sandwiches.

Cassian cuts his beef sandwich in half and gives the other half to Nesta, and she does the same with her turkey sandwich. They eat and drink around the crackling fire, laughing and talking about tomorrow’s plans (“It’s not your birthday, Azriel,” Nesta says. “Stop asking about gifts.”). Cassian and Emerie talk idly about video games over wine, and even though it isn’t really his thing, he can see her excitement over it and gladly indulges it.

Once everyone is finished eating and is slightly drunk, Gwyn pulls a small sleeve of crackers out of her puffy jacket, followed by a fun-sized Hershey’s bar and a handful of mini marshmallows.

“What are you doing?” Nesta says.

“Making dessert.” Gwyn builds a mini s’more and places it carefully on her fork so she can toast it over the fire pit. When it’s done, she leans forward even more to try to put it on Nesta’s plate. “For you. Thank you for letting me and Emerie stay.”

Nesta jumps, catching the s’more with her plate and batting Gwyn away from the fire pit at the same time. “You’ll set your hair on fire,” she hisses.

Gwyn’s hair remains safe, but now Cassian catches his brother watching Gwyn amusedly from the corner of his eye. “Can I have one?” Az says.

“I’m all out.” Gwyn says while building another s’more, refusing to meet his eyes.

Cassian and Nesta share a look, a hundred words thrown back and forth between them in that glance. She scoots her chair closer to him to slip her cold hands into his warm ones, but while the conversation carries on around the table, she leans in and whispers, “I’m not a busybody but…”

“I am,” he whispers back. “Az is being weird, weirder than usual.”

Nesta nods. “I’ve never seen him so—outgoing.”

Neither has Cassian, but before he can mention anything else, he looks up to find that Gwyn and Azriel’s seats at the table are empty. “How much did those two drink?” he breathes.

Nesta follows his gaze, seeing what he’s seeing: Azriel and Gwyn wandering clumsily around the snowy courtyard. Or rather, Az is trying to chase Gwyn down for a s’more, while she clutches her mini marshmallows to her chest and vehemently yells, “They’re mine!”

Meanwhile, Emerie is half asleep at the table.

Cassian watches as Gwyn nears the towering fir tree at the center of the courtyard and slips. Az shoots out a hand to catch her, but not before her ass hits the stone, hard. He pulls her back up, no longer fooling around, and Gwyn rubs her butt in pain.

Cassian suddenly feels Nesta squeezing the life out of his hands, and he looks over to find fury written across her face. For a heartbeat, he feels worried for Az.

“Go deal with him,” Nesta says lowly. “Before I do.”

Not needing any more words to understand, he stands out of his seat and heads out into the courtyard. He doesn’t know why Nesta thinks Gwyn needs protecting, but it makes him feel protective himself. Approaching the duo, he sees that Azriel finally acquired the leftover s’more ingredients from Gwyn.

“There’s only like half a cracker left,” Az mutters to himself, shaking the baggie.

“Is he bothering you?” Cassian asks Gwyn, who still looks grumpy over losing their skirmish.

Whipping her head to Cassian like he’s her savior, Gwyn nods furiously. “Please make him stop.”

Cassian turns to Azriel with rage in his eyes, a clear What the fuck do you think you’re doing?

But Az shakes his head in denial. “It’s not like that. Look, she’s smirking at me!” He points over Cassian’s shoulder.

When Cassian looks, Gwyn is already walking back to the fire pit, holding her bruised ass.

Az starts, “What a fake little—”

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Cassian interrupts. “Yesterday you’re crying over Elain and today you’re flirting with Nesta’s friend?”

Azriel goes serious, his face turning colder than the night air. “How do you know about Elain?” he says gruffly.

“Everyone knows, Azriel.” Cassian stares down his brother, wondering if he’ll finally get him to get his head screwed on straight after these past weeks of secretive bullshit.

Azriel sets his jaw, but a muscle there ticks.

“Will you finally at least tell me what’s going on in your head?” Cassian pleads. “Because I can’t keep guessing.”

Azriel glances toward the dinner table, as if checking to see that no one is paying attention to them. Looking back, he inhales a breath. “You want to know why I left Velaris?”

Like Nesta, Azriel is not one to quickly make himself vulnerable. So there’s no blatant emotion in his voice when he says, “I started seeing her at the end of summer, not long after she broke up with her ex. And it was so…nice after every other relationship I’ve been in has gone wrong. We kept it quiet, and because of that, it was peaceful.” Azriel’s eyes meet Cassian’s twin ones, and he smirks without humor. “But you already know what that’s like, don’t you?”

He does. Cassian crosses his arms, waiting for Az to continue.

“Anyway, we had a good run. For a long time, it was mostly just sex, but I liked her. I liked her a lot.” Az kicks at the snow-dusted cobblestones. “Then Christmas came around, and Rhys found out.” His face darkens as he remembers, and Cassian stiffens, knowing what’s next isn’t good. Sometimes Rhys forgets the boundary between boss and brother.

“He didn’t say anything about it to Elain, of course,” Azriel says. “But he dragged my ass aside and gave me this huge lecture about us using each other as rebounds. Said ‘Feyre’s sister’ deserves better or some shit. I told him there was more to it than that, but he wouldn’t listen. Instead he brought Vanserra & Co. into it, like his business matters had anything to do with me and Elain.” Azriel’s eyes crinkle at the corners in a puzzled way. “So I got to thinking, ‘why would he bring the Vanserras up?’ He made it seem like such a big deal.” The toe of his boot digs a hole into the ground.

Sympathy churns alongside anger in Cassian’s chest for Azriel’s situation, anger at Rhysand for crossing that line between brothers. He’s only momentarily grateful that Rhys never tried doing something similar to him and Nesta.

“I thought she was over that other guy, Lucien,” Az continues. “But maybe she’s not, if Rhys is so concerned about what Lucien’s stepfather thinks. Anyway, that’s why I ran. Because I knew she liked me, but I also knew she didn’t love me. I didn’t want us to cause all that trouble with Rhys just to end up backed into a corner one day, having nowhere else to go because she loves someone else and I’m just a rebound. It would be awkward for everyone involved.” He scratches the back of his neck. “It’s mostly my fault, for always chasing after women I can’t have.” He finally looks up at Cassian. “When you talk to Elain, does it sound like she hates me?” The question is quiet, straightforward.

“No,” Cassian answers, voice rough. Even if Azriel wants to hide his feelings, Cassian won’t. “She doesn’t seem like she hates you. I don’t even think she’s mad at you.” Concerned, anxious, upset—that’s Elain as far as he knows.

“She should hate me,” Azriel says. “She should get pissed, burn my old clothes, and swear to never talk to me again. That’s the only way she can move on.” Maybe even move back to Lucien, is what goes unsaid.

Cassian isn’t so sure about that. Even as he feels for Az, he thinks both of his brothers should get slapped upside the head for how they’ve been acting lately. He won’t be the one to do it, but he might get Nesta to relay a message to Elain. It’ll be the same thing. “I’m sorry,” he tells Az instead. “I know I’ve been hard on you lately. When we get home, I’ll start doing better.” He claps Az on the shoulder and squeezes.

Azriel surprises him by scoffing, looking away in disbelief. “Wow, being compassionate is really a full time job for you, huh?” He claps Cassian’s shoulder back, pulling him into a sudden hug. “You’ve already done more than enough,” he says into Cassian’s ear. “Go to your girlfriend and take a rest.”

Taken aback, Cassian nods and pulls away. He’s about to turn around and leave when Az says, “By the way, I wasn’t flirting with Gwyn.”

Cassian raises a brow. “You were definitely doing something.”

Az rolls his eyes. “I’m not giving her anything she can’t handle. But in case you haven’t noticed, I have no interest in other women right now.” He makes a face. “Especially not her.”

Cassian chuckles. “I believe you. It’s Nesta you need to worry about.”

“Whatever. I’m not scared of her.”

That makes Cassian laugh even harder, but he turns around, ready to go back to said girlfriend. As he nears the fire pit, though, he finds that Gwyn is already there and cuddled up to Nesta. On Nesta’s other side, Emerie now sits in Cassian’s chair, asleep on her friend’s shoulder. He stops in his tracks.

Cassian wasn’t lying when he told Nesta that he was happy about their changed vacation plans—he believes the more the merrier, and he loves these people. Yet he can’t help but wish the two of them could be alone for just one day. Only one.

God, sometimes having friends sucks.

***

a/n: this is a two parter so next chapter we’ll finally be getting more nessian alone time

tagging: @hellasblessed @sjm-things @thewayshedreamed @drielecarla @valkyriewarriors @superspiritfestival @aliveahaahahafuck @cupcakey00 @sayosdreams @rainbowcheetah512 @claralady @thebluemartini @nessiantho @missing-merlin @duskandstarlight @lucy617 @sleeping-and-books @everything-that-i-love @cassianscool @swankii-art-teacher @wannawriteyouabook @awesomelena555 @julemmaes @wickedqueenoffantasy @poisonous-bloom @observationanxioustheorist @gisellefigue08 @courtofjurdan @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @wolfiixxx @cass-nes @seashade @royaltykxx @illyrianundercover @queenestarcheron @monstrousloves-explodinggalaxies @humanexile @that-golden-lyre @agentsofsheilds @mercy-is-alive @cassiansbigwingspan @laylaameer01 @verypaleninja @maastrash @bow-dawn @perseusannabeth @dead-on-the-inside666 @jlinez @hungryreadingaddict @anidealiveson @planet-faerie @shallowhighwaters @ghostlyrose2 @chosenfamily-valkyriequeens @rarephloxes @readiajin @nessiantrashh @live-the-fangirl-life @ifinallygavein @xoblivisci @sjmships @jungtaekwoonie-is-life @lysandra-tiara @lanyjoy-13 @frosted-crackers @post-it-notes33 @loosingdreams @fromthelibraryofemilyj @18moneytoad @dontgetsalmonella @champanheandluxxury @togreblog @arinbelle @ladygabrielli1997 @meridainthedisneyland

[aminiatureworld]

Affection II

Characters: Childe, Ganyu, Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,577

Warnings: None

Premise: Sometime we know something is impossible from the start. But still we walk towards it, even if we know it will hurt us. It’s only flirting, only a smile or a hug or some food. Even if nothing comes of it, there is nothing to regret. Even if it hurts.

In which the reader gives affection, expecting nothing in return.

Author’s Note: Evidently I’ve really missed writing these properly. I had such a great time writing, and I hope you guys enjoy these just as much as I did.

Also I’ve decided the version on Ao3 will now always be without bullet points, so if you prefer that format the link will be in the reblog.

Childe

You’d been floored by Childe pretty much since the day you two had met.

What had turned into the two of you meeting had started out a most unfavorable encounter. You’d gone to Lingju Pass, trying to survey some of the carvings of the old structure, and attempting to see the sort of methods used to construct such vast rocky complexes at the time. Unfortunately this goal had quickly turned into a goal of “don’t get caught”, as you’d found the Pass crawling with Fatui members. Though you weren’t nearly helpless, you’d also not come prepared for battle; and had spent most of the “fight” dodging around various blows while trying not to drop the expensive equipment that you’d borrowed from other Guild members.

Just as you’d come to the conclusion that the options were either drop everything and run or get thoroughly injured by a bunch of arrogant Snezhnayan soldiers there was a change in the air. The Fatui soldiers’ expression turned from one of glee to one of confusion, and then one of panic, as one by one a streak of blue began to throw them this way and that. As you regained focus of the terrain your realized that it wasn’t a streak at all but a person, a person who was wildly adept at sword play. Eventually the number of unconscious people had risen to five, and there was no one left but him and you.

“Need any help?”

The words might’ve been kind, had it not been for the smirk on the man’s face. Though you felt that the right answers would’ve probably been to scowl, you found you couldn’t, too wrapped up in the memory of this mysterious person darting this way and that, handling his water-made daggers with the grace of a ballet dancer.

“I’m Childe.” These words finally brought you back to the present.

“You’re a member of the Fatui.”

“I am.”

“Then why did you knock those guys out just now?”

“Boredom.”

You stared at Childe incredulously. Of course you’d heard his name, the man who, it was whispered, almost pulled Liyue into the sea. You’d formed a sort of mental picture of him completely divorced from the redhead now standing in front of you, bouncing slightly on his feet as he smiled cockily. He looked more like a rogue adventurer than one of the heads of a crime syndicate. Maybe that was why you found yourself infatuated, rather than afraid.

This infatuation only grew, fed by the encounters that you had with Childe. It seemed now you couldn’t avoid him, not that you wanted to. What had begun as a chance encounter multiplied into two, into four; soon enough you two had struck up a sort of friendship, one that baffled everyone else around you.

Of course you hadn’t lost all your sense, knowing quite well that the puppy love you were feeling could never be anything more. The way Childe talked about his work, about his duty to the Tsaritsa, made it very clear that he wouldn’t let a partner in his life or in his loyalties. And even if he changed his mind, why would he choose you? You were an adventurer sure, but you hadn’t even been able to properly defend yourself the first time the two of you met, and your oversight of that would’ve surely turned Childe away. Besides, Childe could probably make a partner out of anyone he wanted, if they were foolish enough. Why should that person be you?

Perhaps it was that knowledge that allowed you to be so free in your affection, spurred on by Childe’s own open nature. Hand holding, hugging, leaning one’s head on the other’s shoulder, it was the language of friendship that you two had adopted, and something that you greatly appreciated. There was something nice about a friendship in which one could be so open about caring about someone, without expecting things to go farther. Because you didn’t, you really didn’t. And though that might’ve been a bit painful, it was a small price to pay for Childe’s company.

“I’m going off to Mondstadt for a bit.”

“What?”

You drew away from Childe a bit to look into his face. The two of you were walking along the path towards Yaoguang Shoal, as Childe had taken a particular liking to the Starconches that lined its shores. Now he smiled awkwardly, squeezing your hand and shrugging his shoulders.

“I know, I know. There’s apparently this branch of the Fatui holed up there right now, and I’ve been asked to consult about something, though archons know what it is.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“I’m not sure, I think about two weeks? I’m not sure what exactly is going on, but the troops really must be in disarray if they need me skulking around for the next two weeks.” He let out a awkward laugh.

“I’ll miss you.” You replied, bumping your head into his shoulder and frowning. “It’s very boring without you.”

“I’m sure you’ll be perfectly capable without me.” Childe smiled, one eyebrow raised slightly. “After all, what would you do if I left someday, permanently. You’d have to find a way without me.”

“Let’s not talk about that.” You replied hurriedly, switching the conversation towards something more pleasant. Unfortunately however the words had already been said, and the damage had already been done.

It had been two weeks since Childe had left for Mondstadt, and though normally you might’ve been waiting at the city gates for his return, you found yourself on the familiar road towards Lingju. Childe’s words had been ringing in your ears for the past two weeks, and you’d found the more time passed the more you kept thinking about them.

What would you do if I left someday, permanently. Is that what Childe truly wanted? To leave? The idea made your stomach hurt, as you began once more to run all your interactions through your head, as if trying to find a flaw in the strips of memory you had of Childe. Was that what Childe truly wanted, or was it simply that he was sick of you? When he’d said “you’d have to find a way without me” did that mean he wanted to find a way without you? Perhaps you’d been too forward, too demanding. Perhaps he’d managed to realize your feelings and felt repelled by them. Had it been too much, meeting him almost everyday for some periods of time, eating lunch together and sometimes dinner. What about that time you’d invited him over to your house to play a game? Had that been too much?

You sighed, dragging yourself over the final ridge. Sitting down to take a rest you closed you eyes. You hated that your mind wandered this way, that no matter what you couldn’t help but ask yourself again and again, what had you done. What would Childe think about this sad person laying on the ground, the sad part was you couldn’t answer that question.

The sound of footsteps brought you back to the present, and you let out a suppressed groan at the figures in your line of sight.

“Don’t you guys ever get posted anywhere else?” You rolled your eyes, reaching behind your back to summon your polearm.

“You’re trespassing.” The voice that came out of the Electro Vanguard was so deep and distorted as to be hilarious.

“Lastly I checked you were neither a citizen of Liyue, nor Rex Lapis, so if anyone’s “trespassing” on public territory it’s you.” You sighed. “Oh well. Unfortunately you caught me on a day where I’m somewhat prepared.” With that you lunged towards the Hydro Legionnaire and the fight began.

Fighting when one is already frustrated is both a blessing and a curse. The fight itself was almost invigorating, the first Fatui hit the ground and with it you felt part of your worries fade away, if only for the small window of time which this fight offered. Was this why Childe fought so much? The though crossed your mind as you whirled behind the Pyro Bracer and pressed as much Electro as you dared into the back of his head, tripping him with the staff of your polearm on his way down.

Soon enough there was only you and the Electro Vanguard left. Unfortunately you were beginning to feel the other side affect of anger, that being misfocus. Being more versed in using your polearm as a sort of lightning rod your found the Vanguard much harder to deal with, more than once barely diving out of the way of the hammer he was swinging around, surprisingly light on his feet considering what the weight must be. Your anger was quickly draining, turning into something more akin to panic, and as you found yourself stumbling more and more you realized that today was really, really not your day.

The Vanguard was becoming aware of how fast you were tiring, a gravelly sort of laugh emerging from behind his mask. As you found your with you back to the slope you wondered if it was just worth it to make an escape. The Fatui swung his hammer once more, barreling towards you. Having nothing left to do you put your polearm out in front of you, hoping that your arms were strong enough not to recoil against the inevitable blow. Closing your eyes you thought of nothing, drowning in a sea of panic. If there was any coherent part of your brain it wished that you weren’t here, that you just stayed home, or swallowed you pride and gone to the gate. But it was too late now, and you were about to get hit.

However the blow never landed, instead a loud sound pierced the air. Whipping your arms open you saw the Electro Vanguard stumble, his hammer having been dropped on the ground. He was grasping towards his ankle, in which was stuck an arrow, glowing a faint aquamarine. Swearing the Fatui member glanced around, before stumbling away, dragging his weapon and his left leg behind him like dead weight.

“Some things never change, huh?”

“Childe!” You whirled towards your once again savior, face burning from embarrassment. “I took out the rest of them this time.”

“I can see that,” said Childe, surveying the area, a telltale smirk on his face, “very impressive. Although, if I may suggest, next time try to take out the Electro Vanguard first, especially since you don’t wield a weapon made for pure damage.”

“Is this turning into a teaching moment?”

“Absolutely not.” Childe laughed.

You found the sound catching, and soon a smile spread across your face as you let your polearm disappear once more. You ran up to Childe, and were about to throw you arms around his neck in a characteristic hug, when the thoughts of before came ramming back into your brain. Taking a step back you planted your arms firmly in front of you, hoping that maybe Childe hadn’t noticed what you’d been about to do.

However Childe approached you instead.

“You weren’t at the gate today.” He said coyly, lips drifting somewhere between a smirk and a frown.

“I’m sorry.” You lowered your head. “I just thought, well maybe that would be better. Since you said you might be leaving permanently and all, and since you were right when you said I’d have to figure things out without you, I don’t know, I thought maybe it’d be for the best.”

Looking up the expression on Childe’s face could only be described as one of complete disbelief. For a moment he stayed frozen in place.

“What in Teyvat do you mean I’m leaving permanently?”

“You said that! Remember… when we were going to pick sea shells you said that you were leaving.” You stepped back, cheeks flushed. “Or maybe you were just sort of sick of me or something.”

“Why would you ever think that?” Childe walked up to you, enveloping one of the hands at your side in his own and bringing it up towards him.

“I… I don’t know,” you replied, feeling very confused and very foolish, “I thought maybe that I was being too affectionate, or too clingy. I mean I know you don’t like me or anything like that. And I thought maybe that I was crossing the boundaries of our friendship.”

“I don’t like you? I’ve liked you since almost the first day we’ve met!”

“Not like that! I mean, like like, you know? As in… well, as in I… I love you.” You let your voice peter out.

“I love you too!” Childe let out. Shaking his head he smiled widely. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve liked you since almost the first time we’ve met. I wasn’t trying to shoo you away.”

“What?” Your brain was short circuiting. Something had gone terribly wrong. You’d definitely been knocked out at some point, and was now hallucinating. There was no way Childe liked you, loved you. He could love anyone, why would he love you.

Childe stepped closer, moving so that your foreheads were almost pressed together.

“May I?” He whispered, voice almost shy. You nodded, a just as small “yes” escaping your lips before Childe cut off your ability to say anything more. It was a short kiss, sweet and chaste, and yet you felt everything around you suddenly come into sharp, almost lucid clarity. You weren’t dreaming. This was happening. This was Childe and he liked you. Childe like you. He liked you, he really liked you.

“Why?” You let out, when the two of you separated. Thankfully Childe remained close to you, being without his presence now would’ve been quite lonely.

“Why what?”

“Why me? I’m not, I don’t know, I can’t even knock out an Electro Vanguard without help.”

Childe let out a laugh, lovely as music.

“I don’t know,” he replied, eyes sparkling, “because you’re you. And I like you.”

And all of a sudden you found that that was enough.

 Ganyu

The days that you accompanied Ganyu on her various errands were the ones in which you were most aware that you were on a level utterly below her.

Of course humans could never really measure up to adepti, after all they made the world and humans simply lived in it. Still in terms of humans, well you weren’t exactly pushing exceptional. If Ganyu represented all that was exceptional about the adepti, well then you represented the average human who didn’t like their job and overall went about their day as unnoticeable as an ant on the road.

Of course Ganyu never acted in a way that would betray the imbalance between the two of you. Indeed Ganyu was nothing if not kind, sweet, and utterly without a semblance of hierarchy. It was one of the things that you adored about her, the straightforward honesty she carried with her, and the way that she appeared not to judge living beings on a scale, even if that was the right of those who were higher and didn’t have to worry about said scale.

“Can you carry this for me?” Ganyu’s voice was soft and somewhat hesitant. You smiled widely, knowing that Ganyu simply had difficulty asking other people for help.

“Of course I can!” Scooping up the package that was stretched out towards you, you saw Ganyu let out a short sigh of relief.

“Thank you.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to help you. Where are we taking this?”

“Over to the funeral parlor. It seems that there are some tiles in here that are being used for a specific ritual. Hu Tao said that the family wanted it, I hope she doesn’t actually mean she pushed them towards it.” Ganyu let out a soft sigh. “She once suggested advertising for cremation. Somehow I feel that won’t exactly be welcomed by the people.”

“No one likes to be reminded of their own mortality. Ah, but Hu Tao is doing her best, and if these tiles end up being insulators, I suppose we can’t do much about it. I’ll make sure not to drop them anyways. Getting on Hu Tao’s bad side feels like asking for a prank.”

“You’re probably right.” Ganyu chuckled.

You blushed slightly, loving the way her laugh sounded, soft and open. You knew Ganyu struggled sometimes; she admitted to you herself that it was very difficult to live an existence defined by liminality. Was she an adeptus? Was she a human? She was neither, and yet both would claim her and call her other. In understanding this Ganyu had retreated into herself. Perhaps that’s why her laugh meant so much.

As you strolled down the docks an angry voice cut through the air.

“Qixing!”

Both of you turning around you saw Bolai, heaving slightly, teetering his way towards you. His face was stormy, and for a moment you wondered if someone had stolen something. His words when he caught up however revealed a very different motivation.

“I demand justice!”

“What for?” Ganyu asked, voice deadly serious once more.

“What for? For what Huixin said in regards to me! For the Liyue Qixing complying with disgusting rumors as to the ways in which I conduct my business and my finances. As to the way that you promised to help me then turned on me!”

“I see…” Ganyu sighed as you wracked your brain, trying to remember what she’d told you about the time that she and the traveler ran around trying to detangle various examples of tax fraud. “Have you considered putting up a formal complaint?” Ganyu meanwhile was still trying to keep professional, something that you admired her for.

“How am I supposed to trust the Qixing after what happened? No! I demand compensation now!”

“Sir, I’m sure you’re quite upset, but there’s no need to act in such a way. If you wish to clear your name, then we can meet in private and review the testimony and documents we received. If not, then I’m afraid there is nothing I can do for you. I’m very sorry.”

Ganyu turned back towards the direction in which you two had been previously walking. Evidently too agitated to think properly Bolai let out a strangled cry.

“We’re not finished yet!” Reaching out, he seemed to be attempting to turn Ganyu around by the shoulder. Having been standing there unthinking you now moved to block the action, knowing that Bolai didn’t really mean anything by it, but not trusting the man who looked like he was about to burst a blood vessel. Bolai’s hand instead smacked into the box in your hands, which slipped from your grip and fell to the floor in a great crash.

Time seemed to slow down somewhat after this, as Bolai stepped backwards and Ganyu turned around, face one of evident horror at the scene. You felt your face begin to burn as you looked at the unassuming box, which now looked a little bit the worse for wear.

“What…” Ganyu trailed off. Bolai waved his hands about in a panicked sort of way.

“That wasn’t me! That wasn’t my fault! It was this person they… I don’t know what they were thinking, getting in the way like that. How idiotic! This is nothing but a mess, a disgrace!”

Normally you wouldn’t pay Bolai’s words any mind, but now they seemed to pierce right through, as you realized all the trouble you’d just caused Ganyu. Glancing over towards her you found you could neither look her in the eyes nor stay where you were.

“I-I’m sorry!” You stammered. Moving to pick up the box you found your hand hesitating. Fearing that you’d just make things worse you pulled yourself and dashed in the opposite direction, speeding up the docks and towards the outskirts of the city.

Normally the view from Mount Tianheng was one that stole your breath away. Today however the mountain seemed completely uninteresting, especially when compared to the thoughts racing in your head.

How had you gotten here, how had you messed up so much? Ganyu didn’t need your posturing, your attempt to help. She was an adeptus for Morax’s sake! And who were you? Someone who couldn’t even carry a box from Point A to Point B. And now you’d just caused more trouble for Ganyu, when she already had so much to do.

“I’m such a failure.” You groaned into your palms.

“You aren’t!” You lifted your head at the soft exclamation, already knowing who the voice belonged to. Ganyu sidled up to the ledge of the mountain silently, fidgeting with her hands. “May I sit next to you?”

“Of course.” You replied, grateful that Ganyu was even talking to you. Smiling softly the Qixing Emissary let out a soft sigh.

“I love the view of the city from here.” She spoke softly, eyes on the horizon.

“I do too.”

“There’s something so lovely about watching everyone go about their day, isn’t there? To see the people work in harmony to bring prosperity and peace to the city of Liyue. To see how everyone continues on the legacy of Rex Lapis.”

“That’s a lot to see.” You joked, still feeling a little uncomfortable, as if Ganyu might in a minute get up and leave.

“But can’t you see it?” Ganyu’s voice was earnest and her eyes shined. “It’s wonderful how people do it, how they continue to make this city thrive, to keep the contracts of Morax alive and within living memory.”

“Perhaps it’s just harder for humans to judge it themselves?”

“Perhaps.” Ganyu’s expression shifted into something, almost shy, not quite melancholic. “Just like how you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself.”

“I’m so sorry Ganyu. I don’t know what I was thinking! I just… I just, wasn’t thinking.”

“You were trying to be kind.” Ganyu replied, something almost akin to blush coating her cheeks. “And I have to thank you for that.”

“But I just caused more trouble…”

“You were trying to be kind,” Ganyu repeated, “like I said, you’re finding it difficult to forgive yourself. But you have to. You didn’t truly do anything that needs forgiveness.”

“But I was doing it for completely selfish reasons!” You blurted out, embarrassment and doubt turning into the words you never wanted to utter. “It’s because I like you, and not just because I was trying to be nice. But because, because maybe I wanted to do something for you, and then maybe I’d be good enough maybe.” Realizing how odd that just sounded you turned your head away. For a moment your words hung in the air, and the longer the silence continued the longer you thought about how utterly selfish you were.

“Thank you.” There was a smile in Ganyu’s voice, and as you turned your head once more you could see it plastered across her face.

“For what?”

“For telling me you like me.”

“But… but isn’t it just burdening you? After all I’m not good enough for you.”

“You are!” Ganyu’s voice was firm. “You’re absolutely good enough for me. And what you did, you call it selfishness, but I don’t understand that. Being kind to people you like isn’t selfish, even if you like them. Because this time you were genuinely helping me. Besides, if that’s selfish then I’ve also been terribly selfish.”

“How?”

“By asking you to accompany me everywhere. Because maybe, maybe I like you too.”

For a moment you wondered if you hadn’t accidentally slipped off the cliff, so weightless did you feel. A bit lightheaded you leaned forward.

“Really?”

“Yes.” Ganyu smiled nervously. Reaching out she took your hand in hers.

The two of you watched the sun set over the city of contracts mostly in silence. Every once in a while there would be a spurt of conversation, but mostly there was nothing but the sounds of the birds and the cicadas, and the pounding of two hearts, hearts both a bit ragged from the events of the day.

For what a day it had been. And how wonderfully it had ended.

 Kaeya

If you could use anything as justification for your crush on Kaeya, he did flirt with you. Unfortunately he also flirted with everyone else in Mondstadt.

“How’s my favorite knight of Favonius?” Kaeya’s cocky voice was clear as a bell, and for a moment your heart flipped as the handsome knight came into view, smile as lovely as it had been the day before.

“Blessed by the presence of our beloved cavalry captain.” You replied in a singsong voice.

The first time Kaeya had used that line on you it felt like your soul had left your body and your heart had run a marathon. Unfortunately you’d heard him use practically the same line on Rosaria the next day, his favorite mysterious nun, robbing you of your fantasy in which Kaeya had any interest for you.

Your banter however was not without genuine feeling. You were utterly infatuated with Kaeya, having fallen for the handsome knight about two weeks into your own training. Originally having been an adventurer you’d joined the knights relatively recently after a series of Abyss attacks on the City of Freedom. As such Kaeya had by then already occupied an exalted position among the ranks, and the hours of being trained, teased, and flirted at by the mysterious cavalry captain had been enough to throw you head over heels.

Not that you’d ever expect things to develop more than they already had. Having a crush on the flirtiest man in Mondstadt did mean that you were praised every once in a while, but it also meant that the praise meant little more than empty words, and that there was always someone else who had heard them. Not that you begrudged those people, not knowing them or not caring. It was Kaeya’s right to be as he was, flirty and irreverent; and you’d never ask him to change that part of himself, or any other.

To do so would be to change the person you’d grown to love.

You trotted up the steps of the Favonius headquarters, opening the door with a slight “oof” before stepping into the cool building. Today was going to be a quiet sort of day for the knights, and you’d been assigned to pick up a few books from Jean’s office to be recorded by Lisa before being sent off to the Church. Going to open the door you paused at the voices inside.

“– saying it’s nothing.”

“And I’m saying that it’s becoming a distraction. I don’t want to control your actions Kaeya, but this pining has been slowing down your work, and we need you as one of our most crucial members to be on top of things.”

“I’m not pining.”

“What do you mean you aren’t pining,” Jean let out a snort, “as if it’s not obvious to everyone around you. Look, I’m not saying you have to break things off –”

“Good, because they haven’t even begun.”

“Then maybe that’s part of your problem. Maybe if you told them you liked them then you’d be able to get back on track.”

“I’m doing my best.”

“You aren’t doing anything. And that’s the problem.”

You didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, having made your way over to the library as to make sure that you were get caught, and to cool your head in regards to what you’d just heard.

So Kaeya liked someone. You shouldn’t’ve really been surprised. Kaeya was a wonderful person; intelligent, good with a weapon, polite, handsome. What person wouldn’t fall in love with him? And when everyone’s in love with you, well, it was unsurprising that eventually Kaeya would find someone who he loved back just as much. Then, why did it hurt?

You fought the urge to wrack your brain for the people Kaeya spoke most about, finding the act beneath you. Still, your mind wandered. Perhaps it was Rosaria after all, or maybe it was only because you remembered her. Perhaps it was the sword smith who came twice monthly to check up on the weaponry. Or perhaps it was the tailor, who could sew anything with the utmost care. Or perhaps it was a musician, or an archivist, or another knight. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

Your head swam and you found your eyes stinging. Now wasn’t the time to cry, not when you needed to honor your appointment with Jean, not when you were somewhere where any one of your colleagues might discover you. Not where Kaeya might walk in any minute and realize what you’d done. This thought finally brought you out of the spiral of your mind. Making sure that any tears that might’ve escaped were wiped away you took a deep breath, steadying yourself before you walked out of the library and into Jean’s office.

Evidently you must’ve looked much worse than you thought, for Jean took one look at you and ordered you home, grumbling about how much trouble there had been recently. You thanked her half-heartedly before making your way out of the Headquarters, heart heavy as lead. At least work would’ve been a welcome distraction.

Arriving home you saw what Jean meant. Though you weren’t particularly teary, your face had taken on an ashen pallor that made it look like you’d either just gotten a shock, fainted, or had suddenly contracted consumption. Letting out a sigh you collapsed on the couch of your apartment. You knew you should probably do something, should eat or work on some extra work or something. But right now you didn’t want to do any of that. You just wanted to forget.

The knock that sounded at your door was extremely unwelcome, and you bit back bitter words as you made your way over to the door. Any protest however was silenced at the sight of Kaeya, hair slightly tussled, expression opaque, on your doorstep.

“Kaeya.” You meant to sound more peppy, but the action felt too tiring. “What’re you doing here?”

“Making sure that you’re alright. Jean told me that you looked unwell, and we can’t have our best knight getting sick, now can we?”

“I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

You went to turn around, when Kaeya reached over and place his hand on your forehead. Freezing you let out a sound somewhere between a strangled cry and a shriek. Kaeya didn’t react to this however, or the red quickly spreading across the bridge of your nose. Instead he let out a sigh, before smiling, something which also caused your heart to seize up.

“Not running a fever. I’m glad. Do you know what’s wrong by any chance?”

“Yes. No! I mean, I think, I, I just need rest.”

“You can tell me if something’s wrong. I might not be able to help, but I can try. Consider it the duty of the Cavalry Captain. Have to keep up appearances, even among the ranks.”

“Really Kaeya, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” Kaeya’s eye seemed to pierce through your soul. “You seem… upset, exhausted. Please, let me help.”

“I can’t…” Your voice cracked and you turned your head away, mortified by your inability to control yourself.

“What do you mean you can’t?” Kaeya’s voice was filled with sudden worry. “Is someone doing something to you?”

“No! No one is. I just can’t because, because it’d be selfish.”

“What do you mean?” Kaeya’s tone had become utterly perplexed, and for a moment you felt the crazy urge to laugh. As if it wasn’t painfully obvious why you couldn’t. This was so tiring. You were so tired.

“Because it’s not fair of me to take away your happiness just because of my own feelings.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I heard you talking to Jean,” you explain, face burning, “she said that you liked someone. Or maybe you did, I don’t remember. Anyways you like someone and it’s not fair of that to hurt me, I have no right to your feelings. But, but it hurts, it really, really hurts.”

The silence when you finished was miserable. You weren’t even looking up at Kaeya, not wanting to see the destruction of a friendship you valued so much.

“Have you considered that the person I’m so infatuated with might be you?”

When you looked up you caught a wave of emotions, similar in strength to the ones currently going through you, plastered over Kaeya’s face. Happiness, sadness, regret, relief; all these things danced in his eyes. In that moment you loved him even more for it, for knowing that he understood, and that he too couldn’t hide the affects of having someone you loved so close and yet so far.

Saying nothing you walked over and slowly stretched your hand out. Kaeya took the hand in his, and you reveled in the small intimacy, in his calloused fingers enveloping yours.

“I’m not good enough.” You pointed out, voice soft.

“You aren’t the one who decides who I love.” Kaeya replied, voice firm. “To me there is no one else worthy in the world. Only you. And I hope that I can be the same for you, that I can be worthy.”

“Yes. Oh yes.”

For Kaeya was more than simply worthy. He was the one you loved the most, as well as the one who’d now made you the happiest person you could ever dream of.

[itsallyscorner]

pleeeease write a blurb where the girl's a member of little mix and they do an award show performance, so tom keeps hyping his girl up and recording stories, just being a supportive bf 🥺

Thank you so much for requesting!! I’m so sorry it took so long, but I hope you enjoy it💞 I know you said you wanted a blurb, but I could never write short things, I’m always too damned detailed and shit, I’m sorry😭 Happy reading🥰

💌.

#1 Fan

Based on Little Mix’s 2019 BRITs performance of Woman Like Me, I suggest watching it to understand Tom’s insta story💞

“You’re going to absolutely smash it. All of you are.” Tom encouraged you. His large hands grasp onto yours comfortingly. The two of you were currently backstage at the BRITs in your and the girls’ shared dressing room. Tonight was a big night for you all, as you and the girls were nominated for two awards: British Artist Video of the Year and British Group of the Year. Additionally, the five of you were going to be performing your latest single, “Woman Like Me”.

To say that you were jittery was an understatement. You were terrifyingly nervous, it made you feel nauseous. Your stomach was a jungle of butterflies, fluttering nonstop as the time to perform grew closer and closer. You glanced at the clock and took a deep breath. The pink latex bra you had on felt as if it were getting tighter and tighter around your chest. Tom notices your slight discomfort and glances at the time, “How about we sit? You’ve got plenty of time to relax before you all go on stage.”

Tom wraps his arm around your waist and leads you to the couch in the dressing room. He settles beside you and moves his arm to rest across your lap, his hand interlocking with yours. You leaned back into the seat and watched the girls make last minute touches to their hair, face, and costumes. Tom squeezes your hand, bringing your attention to him. Your eyes shift to meet his warm chocolate brown ones. A soft smile grows on his lips, “Hey.”

You reciprocate his smile with a smaller one, “Hi.”

“What’s wrong? You rarely get jitters before going out on stage.” He asks you quietly so only you could hear. You stare down at your lap and fiddle with his fingers.

“I-it’s just different from what we’ve been doing lately.” You start, glancing at Tom. He nods for you to continue, “We just haven’t been doing live performances for such a long time. Like on tour, we’re usually performing in front of our fans. Not the entire British music industry or live television.”

Tom brings your hand up to his lips and presses a gentle kiss on it. “There’s nothing to worry about, darling. You—and the girls, are going to do amazing as always. You guys are the best at live performances. The amount of work and dedication you girls put into this is going to pay off, I swear, it’ll be a standing ovation. Everyone’s going to love it.”

You smile at your boyfriend’s support for you and the girls. You couldn’t help but peck his lips, to which he replied with a lovestruck grin.

“I’m just nervous that I’ll mess up. Like what if I miss a step of the choreography—or stumble on my words while I’m singing? Oh god, what if I forget the lyrics—“ Your eyes widen in horror as your head generated all the worst case scenarios that could happen on stage. Tom shushes you and gingerly cradles your jaw, being careful of the makeup on your face.

“Listen to me.” He levels his eyes with yours to make sure your attention is on him. “You’re not going to mess up or forget a line—none of that nonsense is going to happen. It’s a load of bullshit. You wanna know why? Because you’re (y/n) (l/n), a member of one of the biggest girl bands of the world, you’re my girlfriend, and you’re the most beautiful and talented girl I’ve ever met. You’re just overthinking. I know you, (y/n). Once the music starts on stage you get lost and start singing your heart out, the crowd just disappears from existence. It’s only you and the girls up on that stage and you’re going to make one hell of a performance. I just know it and so do the other people waiting in that audience.”

You stare at him, stunned by his sudden motivational speech. “Since when did you get good at pep talks?”

His mouth gapes at you, “Uh—stan Twitter? The fans? Is that seriously what you got from all of that?” You shook your head and wrapped your hands around his wrist. “No, I heard every single word. I guess I’m feeling a bit more better now, so thank you, Tommy.” You peck his lips again, despite the fact that your lip gloss was getting on his lips. Though he didn’t care, as long as he was kissing you.

“Still got some nerves?”

“Just a little bit. But I’ll be fine, especially with you in the crowd.” You interlock your fingers with his and glance at the clock. Only 10 more minutes till you were all going to perform.

Tom’s face lights up, “Front seat babe, I got the best seat in the house. I swear, I’m recording the whole performance on my phone. I already got Harrison to help me take Instagram stories for me at the same time. I need every angle.”

Jesy takes that as her cue to join the conversation, “My goodness, you’re such a dork.” She reaches her hand out for you to help you get off the couch.

Tom fakes a dramatic gasp, knowing Jesy didn’t really mean her jab at him. “I don’t know what you’re taking about, I’m just being a very supportive boyfriend. AND Little Mix’s number one fan.”

You dust your pink pants off and take a look at yourself in the full body mirror. You did a little shake too loosen your limbs out and did some breathing exercises. Tom lets you do your pre-performance ritual while he talks with the girls.

Perrie crosses her arms, amused at the younger Brit, “Are you seriously competing against a bunch of teenage girls to deem yourself as our number one fan?”

“Well are they dating one of the members of Little Mix? I don’t think so. You know who is? Me.” Tom gestures to himself sassily. “I even get to hear all the new music earlier than everybody else and get good seats at concerts.” He bragged while one of the members on your team helped you place your in-ears.

Jesy rolls her eyes before gesturing to the door, “Right, I’m calling security. Apparently we’ve got a crazed fan in our dressing room.” Jade and Leigh-Anne stifle a laugh at the bickering.

“You can’t kick me out, I have backstage access.” Tom defended himself with crossed arms.

“No seriously, babe. We’re about to perform in five.” You join the conversation, finally feeling your anxiousness start to fade away. Tom blinks at you, “I’m being kicked out by my own girlfriend?”

Jesy laughs at Tom, taking the piss out of his offended expression. A sly smirk grows on your face. You hold your hands out for him to help him off the couch, “If you want to record every second and angle of our performance, I suggest leaving now.”

Tom straightens out his suit before interlocking your fingers with his. He leans forward and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “You’re gonna be great. I love you.”

You giggle, eyes beaming up at his warm brown ones, “I love you too. Now get back to Harrison, you’ve left him alone for too long.” Prior to leaving, he stops in his tracks and manages to gather you and the girls into a group selfie. He wishes you all good luck and leaves, making his way back to his seat in the audience.

While he walks back, he posts the selfie you all took onto his Instagram story with the caption, “Good luck to these beautiful ladies! Tune into the BRITs to see their performance, you don’t wanna miss it!”

He gets back to the table designated for you and the girls to see Harrison with an unamused face.

“What?” Tom asks him, confused at his friend.

“You left me here by myself, you div.” Harrison quips. Tom cringes and apologizes to his friend.

“You’re still gonna help me record the performance, right?” Tom sheepishly asked gesturing to Harrison’s phone.

“Yes, Tom, I’ve told you multiple times that I’ll record it.” Harrison held his phone up getting his camera ready. Harrison was about the rant about Tom and how whipped the boy was for you, but was sushed by his best friend.

“SHUT UP IT’S STARTING. HARRISON START RECORDING!” The lights dimmed while someone announced you and the girls. Harrison had his phone already filming while Tom held his phone up, ready to start recording things for his Instagram story.

Tom’s Instagram Story:

“HOLY SHIT!” Tom screamed behind the camera as he recorded the opening of the performance.

You and the girls were stood up while the dancers were on the floor thrusting up at you all. The camera flips to Tom, who’s mouth was agape, “THAT SHOULD BE ME.”

The camera is back to the stage, where you and the girls are doing the choreography with the chairs. Tom whoops loudly in the background and yells, “THAT’S FUCKING SICK—HARRISON LOOK AT THEM.”

“YESS! THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND!” Tom screamed, thrusting his finger in your direction when your part of the song came on.

Tom zooms in on you as you strutted alongside the girls on the stage, he flips the camera back to him and a smirk is on his lips. He nodded before telling the camera, “That’s my girl.”

Tom forgot to turn his camera around and ended up recorded himself reacting to the performance. A proud smile is on his features while his eyes lit up as they followed you on stage. He leaned closer to Harrison and says, “She looks stunning, mate, my god.”

The stories cut to him and Harrison dancing and singing along to Woman Like Me.

The camera cuts back to you. You’re singing your part in the chorus and you hit a certain note that stuns Tom. He flips the camera to himself, a shocked expression on his face while he hyped you up.

The colored lights reflect onto Tom’s face, his mouth widens when he realizes you and the girls included a dance break in the performance. He flips the camera back, making sure all five of you were in frame.

Tom cheers in the background along with the audience when you and the girls finish your performance.

An unbreakable smile is on Tom’s lips, “There you all have it, I tried to record some parts just in case you all missed it—But that was probably one of the greatest performances they have ever done. I feel so honored to be here.”

Tom leans over so him and Harrison are in frame, “What did you think of the performance, Harrison?” Harrison grins, “I thought it was out of this world, I wasn’t expecting that.”

Tom’s face is hovered above the camera, “I just wanted to let you all know, that after tonight, I am officially becoming a Little Mix fan account. Follow me for more insider updates on Little Mix.”

You come back to the table to see Tom, Harrison, and the girl’s dates beaming at the five of you. You’re all greeted with congratulations and hugs. When you finally reach Tom, he crashes his lips onto yours and lifts you up.

You giggle against his lips, “Hello to you too.”

He pecks your lips twice more before placing you back down, “You were—I don’t even know how to describe it. You were fucking amazing up there.”

You whine, the blush growing on your cheeks while you hid your face in his neck, “Well, I couldn’t have done it without your little pep talk. So thank you, lovey.” 

Tom waves you off while helping you into the seat beside him, “That was all you, darling.”

You and the girls settled down as the awards show continued on. You were drinking a glass of water and reached out to check your phone. Tom stops you, grabbing your wrist. You shoot him a look.

“No—just, don’t watch my Instagram story. Please.” He asks you with a sheepish smile. A loud roar of laughter is heard from across the table, making you all look at Jesy. She simply holds her phone up, screen facing you all, with Tom’s story playing on it.

[thewritetofreespeech]

hi i just started this tumbler thing and i really like your blog considering that i found it like 10 mins ago. i was wondering if you could do aomine and atsushi dealing with their girlfriend’s real bad period cramps. thanks i hope you’re doing well💕

Thank you for the compliment! I’m glad you are enjoying my blog :3 I did something similar with all the GOM boys for HCs on this topic here, if you want to see everyone.

Aomine & Murasakibara + Crampy Reader

Aomine

“Whoa. You look like death.”

“Hello to you too.” You reply with a frown, not really able to argue with how you feel, as you turn away from the door and your boyfriend to let him let himself in.

“Sorry. Just caught me by surprise, that’s all.” Aomine said as he took off his shoes before following you back to your couch. “You’re not ready to go?”

You groan as you actually remember why he was here. You were supposed to have a date today. Streetball court and crepes. The perfect afternoon. Only your ‘friend’ had come early to ruin your perfect day. “I’m sorry Aomine. I can’t go today. I’m….not feeling well.”

“Eh? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” He asked. Already coming over to place his hand on your forehead.

“No. It’s not that.” You tell him, but let his hand linger there because it did feel nice. “I’m uh…having a bad day….with my period….”

You expected him to be grossed out or head for the hills. Boys didn’t usually respond well to this sort of thing. And God bless Aomine but he wasn’t the most mature about female anatomy. You were expecting him to make some sort of excuse and take off until you ‘time of the month’ had passed.

Instead, he just looked at you for a moment before he went, “oh…where’s your heating pad?”

The question took you so off guard that all you could do was let out a small ‘hn?’ so he repeated. “Your heating pad. Don’t you have one?”

“I uh…no.”

“I thought all girls had heating pad for this sort of thing. Satsuki basically named hers.” He replied. Scratching the back of his head as he was trying to come up with a solution. “I guess you don’t have a hot water bottle or anything either. Want me to go get you one? There’s a pharmacy down the street, right?”

“Wait, are you actually going to get a heating pad for me?” You ask, still in complete shock.

“Well, you don’t feel good. Plus, I figured you’d be paying for it. I’d more just go be picking it up. And I’m not gonna buy you tampons or anything. That’s where I draw the line.”

You ‘kick’ Aomine in the shin with your toe. Lightly arguing about how it was rude for him to make a gesture that you had to pay for. But, in reality, it was incredibly sweet. You didn’t think he’d be so….ok with this, let alone good. You suppose though, when your best friend your whole life is a girl, you pick up on these things.

You hand Aomine your wallet and he went to the store. He came back an hour or so later with a heating pad, snacks, and fizzy drinks for your stomach. You thank him and expect him to leave again before he settled into the couch next to you. “There probably isn’t anyone strong to play against at the court anyway.” He said when you asked if he was leaving, and smiled as you tucked into his side. New heating pad on your front and warm boyfriend on your back for the rest of the afternoon.

Murasakibara

“[Y/N]-cchi, are you ok? You seem in a bad mood.”

“I’m sorry Mura-kun.” You apologize. “I’m not having a good day.” Then after a pause you added. “I started my period.”

Murasakibara looked startled for a moment and took a step back. “[Y/N]-cchi isn’t gonna yell at me, is she?”

“What? Yell at you? Why would I yell at you?”

“My sister always yells at me.” He answered. “She yells at everybody.”

You were a little surprised by that. Of course you had met Murasakibara’s sister; the few times she was home from college. All the Murasakibara siblings were about even kill with their brother on the ‘emotional excitement scale’. Mura-kun was the laziest and most childish out of the bunch, but they were all pretty quiet and low tempo when it came to things. You can’t imagine his sister yelling at anybody.

“Well, I’m not going to yell at you. My ovaries might be trying to murder me from the inside right now, but that’s no reason to take it out on you.”

The male teen seemed to relax a little, but was still on edge. “Do you want some chocolate? I hear that helps.”

“No. I’m ok.”

“I really don’t mind getting it for you.”

“No, that’s ok. I appreciate it, but I’m good.”

“….Please…”

“Do you want chocolate Mura-kun?” The boy looked at you with almost puppy dog eyes. Ashamed his polite gesture had become about him, but not too proud to beg for chocolate. “Fine. But don’t go overboard.”

Murasakibara smiled and pet your head; practically engulfing it with his huge hands.

He came back several minutes later, with what looked like an entire vending machine’s worth of chocolate. He claimed that he didn’t know what you wanted, but made no effort to hide eating the pieces that you didn’t want. If, for nothing else, his antics did make you feel better. Plus, chocolate.

[smileyoongle]

Falling for a lounge singer (Yandere!Mafia! BTS)// Kim Seokjin

Requested anonymously.

Summary: Working as a part time singer, you never thought you'd find yourself becoming the centre of attention of a man's life, especially one who you can't run from.

Word Count: 2K

You bowed before the audience at your workplace, an empty smile tugging at your lips as you finally walked down the stage and made your way to the bar. This was the third consecutive day in a week where your boss had made you work overtime without paying you for it. You knew that as a singer who performed in a small but reputable lounge bar, you weren’t worth that much. In fact, the reality was that you could be replaced at any given time, the city not having any less talented singers than you and that made you insecure about your job all the time. But either way, you were just stuck here, trying to push your way through every single day just to clear all your debts.

Life was unfair. It had always been.

Sitting down on a bar stool, you leaned across the counter and rested your elbows on it, the cold surface feeling good against the warmth of your skin. The speakers in the lounge were now playing the latest radio hits, the beats making your head hurt as you were handed a glass of water by the bartender who looked at you with a pitiful smile. Thanking him, you sipped on the water before your manager made his way to you and placed a champagne coloured envelope before you. Frowning in confusion, you gave him a questioning look which he returned with a nervous but angry expression.

“Someone left a tip for you,” he sneered, clearly not liking the fact that you had received money which wasn’t given by him. An asshole is what he was, his intentions of seeing you worried sick becoming more and more obvious with every passing night.

Pursing your lips, you unsealed the envelope only to find a lot of money, money that was probably worth your salary of six months. Your eyes widened in surprise, lips parting as you tried to make sense of why someone would tip you off with so much cash. You weren't even that good and you could never be that good.

“Who?” you asked, following your manager’s gaze to the exit where a bunch of men were making their way out. Almost immediately, you were on your feet with the envelope tightly clutched between your fingers. You needed to know who this man was that was so generous to you. Needed to know what about you was worth so much.

Holding your dress with one hand, you made your way towards the exit, eyes worriedly fixated on the doorway which was now empty. The bouncers nodded at you in acknowledgement while you forced a smile upon your lips and exited the bar, a part of you thinking that he must have left. But just as you came in contact with the cold night outside, your eyes took in the sight of an expensive car with a man dressed in an equally expensive suit surrounded by, you were guessing, his bodyguards. You couldn’t see his face yet, only his back being your line of sight but judging by everything, he certainly was someone in power. But if that was the case, what was he doing in a place so...average?

Deciding to end your curiosity, you called out to him, not knowing that this man was going to turn your life around completely. In a good way or bad? That was for you to choose.

“Excuse me, Si-”

Right then, your heel decided to give away, your ankle twisting painfully before you tripped...except you didn’t. Instead, you felt two hands taking a hold of your waist to steady you, your hands immediately latching onto their shoulder in return. And that’s when you finally saw him.

Kim Seokjin.

The man who was known to be running the biggest drug cartel around the country.

Your breath hitched as your eyes widened in recognition, a shiver running down your spine upon the realisation that he was here and he was holding you. Your fingers involuntarily tightened around his bicep, his eyes intently taking in your face as if you were his prey and he, your predator.

“Are you hurt, sweetheart?” he asked, snapping you out of your daze. Swallowing thickly, you shook your head, too afraid to even move because what could you even do? If you had known that Kim Seokjin was the one who had tipped you off, you would have probably just handed the money to your manager without confronting him. But here you were, stuck in a situation that you didn’t know how to get out of.

Your ears perked up at the sound of a car door opening, your eyes darting towards the black vehicle that now mocked at you with its open door. Jin swiftly picked you up without a word, a small yelp escaping your lips as you stared at him with fear and panic.

Were you being kidnapped?

Before you could think any further, you were placed onto a cool leather seat, your legs dangling to the side where the door proceeded to stay open. You watched Jin kneel down before you, his hands gently taking off your heel to inspect your ankle as a frown made its way to your forehead. The sudden act of kindness was making you very confused and you didn’t know what to do about it.

Maybe he just treated people nicely before he got rid of them?

A sudden pressure to your ankle had you whimpering and pulling your foot away, your teary eyes meeting Jin’s as he looked up at you with a soft gaze only to have his heart ache upon seeing you in so much distress.

In all honesty, this wasn’t the first time Jin was seeing you and the fact that he had tipped you a fortune was no coincidence either. He had walked into this bar for a deal about a month ago when he saw you, your voice being the first thing that captivated him. You looked absolutely stunning in a satin dress with your lips stained red, your smile taking his breath away even though it was just for show. Ever since that night, he just knew he had to see you and know you even if it meant coming to this place.

When you went to the rooftop to cry your heart out, he was right there in the shadows, wondering just what he could do to take your worries away. When you were being yelled at by your landlord, he was right there holding himself back from ruining that man's life. In short, every single time you thought you were alone, you weren't. Jin was always there, slowly figuring out where he was going to fit himself in your life. This tip that he had given you was guaranteed to solve your problems but along with that, it also made sure that you would want to see him. And that's all he really needed.

“You’re hurt, sweetheart. I don’t think you can walk-”

“Are you going to kill me?” Jin frowned upon hearing your question, feeling a little hurt that the girl he was so insane about, thought that he'd lay a hand on her, let alone kill her. But he had only himself to blame for having an image that was tainted with the blood of many, innocents and devils alike.

"Why would you think that, Y/N?" He asked, placing his hand on the empty space beside you. Your lips trembled as you struggled to answer, your eyes taking in the number of guards around you two. As if reading your mind, Jin quickly dismissed them, your shoulders slightly relaxing as you watched them walk away to where you couldn't see them. Feeling a little hopeful, you wiped away a tear that fell down your cheek and held your head up.

"I know who you are and what you do," you answered, biting your lip as you watched a wave of disappointment wash over him. Jin had been left speechless and he knew that, his jaw clenching and unclenching out of habit. Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he sighed, his hand gently taking yours into his as you tensed in your seat.

"I need you to listen to me carefully, sweetheart," he stated, drawing your attention to him and him only.

"I have been watching you for a while now," he confessed with apology filled eyes looking right into yours, "and hurting you, is the last thing I want."

Those words had you feeling breathless, too many emotions bubbling up your throat and making you wanna throw up. You had been the subject of a very dangerous man for quite some time and you had no idea. On top of it all, he said he didn't want to hurt you and you found yourself believing him. Maybe it was the way his eyes held so much adoration for you or the way he held onto you like you were a fragile little doll, you didn't know.

"Wh-what do you want then?"

"To love you," he answered without any hesitation, his hand coming up to brush away your hair from your cheek. His touch was warm, almost comforting, something you hadn't had in a very long time. Having been so lonely all this time, the idea of being cared for and loved seemed too tempting to let go. And knowing just how powerful Kim Seokjin was, it was very obvious that no one would ever dream of hurting you, be it mentally or physically.

But, were you really willing to choose comfort over the fact that he was a murderer?

"M-Mr. Kim, you don't even know me. I'm a normal girl who has a simple life and being roped into yours is the last thing I need."

You stated, noticing the way his eyes held a hint of sadness that seemed to be barely there. Swallowing thickly, you stood up with a pained expression, quickly taking your heels in your hand as you glanced at Jin one last time. This was the right decision, in your mind. Because there was nothing worse than having to live with a man, knowing he was cold and brutal. It was almost as if you'd be his partner in crime, something you just couldn't digest.

Limping towards the bar, you sighed in relief as a sudden silence surrounded you. Jin hadn't said a word to your rejection, making you think that he had understood what you were trying to say. The chilly air felt comforting now, your breath coming to you in waves of warmth. But before you could open the door to the bar, you heard a light click behind you.

Frowning, you turned around, your eyes growing wide upon coming face to face with the muzzle of a gun. Seokjin stood holding it firmly, his eyes red and angry. Your lips began to quiver immediately, your ears taking in the sound of his guards gathering around you.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, did it sound like you had a choice?" He sneered, stepping forward and pressing the muzzle against your forehead. You slowly shook your head, a full stream of tears falling down your cheeks as you dropped your heels and joined your hands together.

"Please don't hurt me. I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Shh sweetheart, shh," he whispered, sliding the gun down your cheek and pressing it against your jaw. You could feel his arm holding your waist firmly, a scared whimper making its way out of your lips.

"You have no idea just how crazy you've been driving me, Y/N. Ever since I've seen you, I haven't stopped thinking about you," he mumbled, staring into your eyes so intensely that if not for the present situation, you would've deemed it romantic.

"Every second I've been thinking of things I'd like to do to you. And I can't have you take that away from me now, can I?" You closed your eyes, your body shaking as you sobbed at his words. The proximity was starting to suffocate you, your hands desperately trying to push Jin away from you but he was too strong.

"Let me go, Jin. Please let me go," you begged, your eyes drooping shut as you grew tired, your head falling against his chest. His hand came up to the back of your head, caressing your hair as he pulled you flush against him.

"Not any time soon, sweetheart," he replied, suddenly pulling back and gesturing the guards to the car. Large hands came to grip your arms, a scream sounding through the night as you were pushed inside the car you were seated in before. Your palms pressed against the leather, the door closing shut behind you as you sat up and banged your fists against the window. Spotting Jin outside, you cried louder, hoping he'd take pity on you. Instead he leaned down to where your palms rested on the window, placing his exactly against yours.

"I promise you'll be happy, sweetheart. I promise."

A/N: Guess who's back! That's right! Me! A dumb bitch! Anyway, I'm so sorry for not posting for like more than a year but for some reason, my brain went on a break and it just didn't wanna come back. So much has happened in the time I was away and I wanna give y'all so many deets like, boy trouble- check, best friend turning out to be a bitch trouble- check, getting two surgeries within a span of two months- check. In short, my life is a mess and I'm loving it.

Also, this turned out really long for like all the members, which is why I'm gonna post them separately. I hope I give you guys the same vibes from my writing as before. Or I'd die from shame. Okay I'm off now! Tell me if you liked it.