#i have more problems with the show than described here

[zer0expektation]

I rewatched Loki (and got progressively angrier), here are the highlights:

(featuring my queer analysis/rewrites hehe)

Episode 1

22:03 - “if looks could kill” Mobius ab and to Loki

22:05 - “What do you want from me?” “Well, let's start with a little cooperation.” “Not my forte” “really? Even when you’re wooing someone powerful you intend to betray? Come on.” Mobius and Loki - GAY

24:35 - “I am smart.” “I know.” “okay…” “.. okay” actual weirdos

Episode 2

5:13 - Loki ‘reading’ Mobius’s jet ski magazine hehehehe

14:03 - “Look, I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ravonna to Mobius as he talks about why he should be allowed to keep Loki alive

16:30 - Loki adjusting Mobius’s tie as he talks about how ‘adorable’ it is that Mobius thinks he can manipulate him, because hes a freak

24:34 - “Loki, i've studied almost every moment of your entire life” Mobius literally what is with you

24:53 - Pompeii scene my beloved

Episode 3

7:16 - “don't ever call me that” “Tech savvy?” “no, a Loki.” Sylvie and Loki silly funny sibling behaviour

22:15 - “You’re a prince. Must’ve been would-be-princesses or perhaps, another prince.” “A bit of both. I suspect the same as you.” ah the beloathed line that haunts my nightmares

31:28 - “y’know, i feel like i've told you so much about me, i really don't know the first thing about you.” yeah ‘cause there is LITERALLY NOTHING TO LEARN ABOUT HER Sylvie is so badly written it actually kills me

Episode 4

7:26 - “like me being born the Goddess of Mischief” - Sylvie is arrested by the TVA for having been born a girl, and presumably that later meaning that if she wanted to she could become a Valkyrie if she wanted to - which i'm fairly certain it's mentioned that Loki wanted to be a Valkyrie when he was younger. This is actually so fucking stupid. The file on our Loki variant states that they were born with a “fluid” sex (whatever the fuck that means), and we are to assume that a lot of parts of variants are intrinsically the same between each other, so you’d assume that Sylvie would also be born with a “fluid” sex

10:07 - Loki and Sylvie are finally bonding by discussing what “makes a Loki a Loki” and Loki insisting that its their collective ability to survive - of course they have to be fucking weird about it which causes a Nexus event, because plot i guess

11:00 - i hate that we don't get to actually see Loki and Sylvie get picked up

12:39 - isn't it a little fun, a little silly, that the bad memory Loki is stuck in is Sif saying “I hope you know you deserve to be alone and you always will be”

17:17 - it's interesting however that it doesn't really hit for Loki until after hes admitted that he does things for attention because he's scared of being alone - BUT i don't like that that is probably reason that the writers had for him falling for Sylvie, him thinking that because she is like him that she has similar fears and thus wouldn't do something to lose that companionship, rather instead it would have been interesting in its use to how Loki has inexplicably grown attached to Mobius of all people (especially because it is immediately followed by Mobius coming in)

15:27 - “aren’t you supposed to be interrogating your variant pet?” r15 to Mobius

19:11 - “I'm going to miss these little tete-a-tetes.” “Me too.” mocking from Mobius, a bit more genuine from Loki

20:59 - “you like her.” Mobius to Loki about Sylvie - im going to kill myself

22:14 - “your female self” good god im going to drown myself its so bad - neither Loki nor Sylvie should be considered a male or female version of the other, because they are both NEITHER male or female, they are both “fluid” in sex - the writers clearly did not know, nor give a fuck about the queerness of Loki and the character it actually makes me want to tear my own head off

34:26 - okok, i think it's fun and a little silly that Loki has a big reaction to Mobius being pruned, one that's harder for him to conceal than the one when he's told that Sylvie’s been pruned - but also, a bit nitpicky here i know, it's really dumb that he's just standing there, he doesn't even try to reach out to Mobius to move him out of the way or anything

41:18 - the “No, i have to tell you something” & “back on lamentis…. This is new for me.” & grabbing Sylvie’s shoulders - clearly supposed to set up the idea that Loki has some-fucking-how fallen for Sylvie (which is dumb as even worse written than most straight relationships) and wants to tell her now? For some reason? HOWEVER, it could have so easily been (and would have been better) instead, him trying to tell her that he trusts her and sees her as a partner in crime and a friend. Because that's the whole thing, right? Loki is scared of being alone, and yet doesn't do friends, and doesn't do partners, because he knows that he will always be alone anyways. The nexus event is him finding solace in the fact that he will die beside a friend rather than alone like he's always known he would. But nooo selfcest is definitely better than meaningful friendships, why dont you fucking kill me for thinking otherwise. Anyways he gets pruned here anyways so L Loki, fucking loser.

Episode 5

Unrelated but where the hell did the Lokis get their clothes - like, i get Sylvie because shes been fucking off all over the timeline for a long time, but everyone in the void? Why do they have their clothes

Again it seriously kills me that Sylvie has no character - no likes, no goals outside of destroying the TVA, no self-reflection, she's the woman character that is smarter and cooler than her male counterparts because they need to be looked after in order to not be killed

Another note on this, we can get a vague idea of what Loki will want when everything is over - he jokes about wanting to rule an entire universe/timeline, but in reality everyone knows he will just want to go somewhere where he's cared about and seen as equal, somewhere where he won't be alone - but we don't know what Sylvie will want, we cant even conceive an idea, because all we know is that she wants the TVA and whoever controls it gone, and we can assume that she wanted to be a valkyrie when she was little, but we know literally nothing else about her, so we have to assume either her and Loki are going to figure out their paths together, or that she will go off to figure it out on her own and we won't hear or see her again until she has a dumb cameo I think i would respect how little we know about Sylvie if it were a “i've spent so much of my life surviving and fixated on this one thing that i haven't had time to figure out who i am as a person and what i like and what i want after its all over”, but we never get anything like this, at least in any kind of depth that would make it good The Strong Woman trope is what I was looking for

16:04 - “Have any of you met a woman variant of us?” “Sounds terrifying.” i'm going to bash my head against the wall until my brains are crawling out the other side

Whoo president Loki, aka the only version of Loki selfcest i can stand behind, because at least commit to the bit if you're gonna do it

The one black Loki is the overly aggressive one that betrays everyone first, because what else should we expect from hollywood. Fucks sake

I do adore that the Lokis have so easily adopted Mobius within their little group and how good he is at understanding all of them

30:18 - “Mobius isn't so bad” “or so good. I think that's why we get along.” “he cares about you” Sylvie and Loki 

okay, I'm not saying that they should have made Mobius the love interest, however I absolutely am saying that. I personally think that would be far more compelling than the selfcest plot, it wouldn't be out of nowhere like i'm sure some may argue because so much of this show was spent on showing that Mobius is the only person that's been able to truly understand Loki and get a good read on them and Loki views him as a friend despite it all, on the other hand i think the selfcest plotline is absolutely out of nowhere, but its not viewed as such because its portrayed as straight and thus expected, they have little to no romantic chemistry, they have had very very very few scenes where they are interacting positively with each other that aren't surrounded with the fact that they are working together because they have the same goal and are trying to survive and most of those interactions are sandwiched between arguing.  I just think this scene could have easily been about Loki acknowledging that he cares about Mobius in a way that he doesn't think he has anyone else before, Sylvie could make a call back to her mailman, and then Loki can go quiet and amongst that have the blanket thing w/o the strange glances and awkward pauses and then they can discuss betrayal and what they want to do once everything is all over

31:48 - “i dont have friends. I don't have… anyone.” Sylvie - well now you do because thats all that this will be right? :D ← the face of denial

36:47 - “looks like you got away in the end” Mobius to Loki - you are a homosexual

37:09 - the lokius hug & Loki’s face before it

40:48 - “I don't know how” “you do, because we’re the same.” Loki and Sylvie - well you dont fucking say! Gee golly! Who woulda thunk it? Certainly not me, Mr. sylkie-is-selfcest-no-matter-how-you-twist-it. Good god I hate this stupid show.

Episode 6

I hate this show so so much, but i do really like when the silly mascot character that is kind of overlooked as comedic relief turns out to be a vessel for the villain, or at least are more sinister than they first seemed and they just become kind of uncanny and unsettling 

I also really like immortal characters that have been alive for so long that they are truly exhilarated by their end

33:45 - Loki having a “no stop, this isn't you ;(” moment is so funny

34:56 - the grossest moment of the show. Selfcest, ladies and gentlemen!

35:12 - i feel like it is very important to note that sylvie saying “but i'm not you” here, is NOT her denying that her and Loki are the same, just that the experience and feeling that Loki is expressing is not shared

39:49 - “Who are you? What's your name?” Mobius to Loki - sobs it's so upsetting i can't do this - imagine how much more tragic this scene would've been if Mobius was set up as the love interest shm my head stupid fucking show

End :))))

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

[petermorwood]

More on pre-electricity lighting.

Interesting to see this one pop up again after nearly two years - courtesy of @dduane, too! :->

*****

After experiencing a couple more storm-related power cuts since my original post, as well as a couple of after-dark garden BBQs, I've come to the conclusion that C.J. Cherryh puts far too much emphasis on "how dark things were pre-electric light".

For one thing eyes adjust, dilating in dim light to gather whatever illumination is available. Okay, if there's none, there's none - but if there's some, human eyes can make use of it, some better or just faster than others. They're the ones with "good night vision".

Think, for instance, of how little you can see of your unlit bedroom just after you've turned off the lights, and how much more of it you can see if you wake up a couple of hours later.

There's also that business of feeling your way around, risking breaking your neck etc. People get used to their surroundings and, after a while, can feel their way around a familiar location even in total darkness with a fair amount of confidence.

Problems arise when Things Aren't Where They Should Be (or when New Things Arrive) and is when most trips, stumbles, hacked shins and stubbed toes happen, but usually - Lego bricks and upturned UK plugs aside - non-light domestic navigation is incident-free.

*****

Here are a couple of pics from one of those BBQs: one candle and a firepit early on, then the candle, firepit and an oil lamp much later, all much more obvious than DD's iPad screen.

Though I remain surprised at how well my phonecam was handling this low light, my own unassisted eyes were doing far better. For instance, that area between the table and the firepit wasn't such an impenetrable pool of darkness as it appears in the photo.

I see (hah!) no reason why those same Accustomed Eyes would have any more difficulty with candles or oil lamps as interior lighting, even without the mirrors or reflectors in my previous post.

With those, and with white interior walls, things would be even brighter. There's a reason why so many reconstructed period buildings in Folk Museums etc. are (authentically) whitewashed not just outside but inside as well. It was cheap, had disinfectant qualities, and was a reflective surface. Win, win and win.

*****

All right, there were no switches to turn on a light. But there was no need for what C.J. describes as stumbling about to reach the fire, because there were tinderboxes and, for many centuries before them, flint and steel. Since "firesteels" have been heraldic charges since the 1100s, the actual tool must have been in use for even longer.

Tinderboxes were fire-starter sets with flint, steel and "tinder" all packed into (surprise!) a box. The tinder was easily lit ignition material, often "charcloth", fabric baked in an airtight jar or tin which would now start to glow just from a spark.

They're mentioned in both "The Hobbit" and "The Lord of the Rings". Oddly enough, "Hobbit" mentions matches in a couple of places, but I suspect that's a carry-over from when it was just a children's story, not part of the main Legendarium.

Tinderboxes could be simple, just a basic flint-and-steel kit with some tinder for the sparks to fall on...

...or elaborate like this one, with a fancy striker, charcloth, kindling material and even wooden "spills" (long splinters) to transfer flame to a candle or the kindling...

This tinderbox even doubles as a candlestick, complete with a snuffer which would have been inside along with everything else.

Here's a close-up of the striker box with its inner and outer lids open:

What looks like a short pencil with an eraser is actually the striker. A bit of tinder or charcloth would have been pulled through that small hole in the outer lid, which was then closed.

There was a rough steel surface on the lid, and the striker was scraped along it, like so:

This was done for a TV show or film, so the tinder was probably made more flammable with, possibly, lighter fuel. That would be thoroughly appropriate, since a Zippo or similar lighter works on exactly the same principle.

A real-life version of any tinderbox would usually just produce glowing embers needing blown on to make a flame, which is shown sometimes in movies - especially as a will-it-light-or-won't-it? tension build - but is usually a bit slow and non-visual for screen work.

*****

There were even flintlock tinderboxes which worked with the same mechanism as those on firearms. Here's a pocket version:

Here are a couple of bedside versions, once again complete with a candlestick:

And here are three (for home defence?) with a spotlight candle lantern on one side and a double-trigger pistol on the other.

Pull one trigger to light the candle, pull the other trigger to fire the gun.

What could possibly go wrong? :-P

*****

Those pistol lanterns, magnified by lenses, weren't just to let their owner see what they were shooting at: they would also have dazzled whatever miscreant was sneaking around in the dark, irises dilated to make best use of available glimmer.

Swordsmen both good and bad knew this trick too, and various fight manuals taught how to manage a thumb-shuttered lamp encountered suddenly in a dark alley.

There's a sword-and-lantern combat in the 1973 "Three Musketeers" between Michael York (D'Artagnan) and Christopher Lee (Rochefort), which was a great idea.

Unfortunately it failed in execution because the "Hollywood Darkness" which let viewers see the action, wasn't dark enough to emphasise the hazards / advantages of snapping the lamps open and shut.

This TV screencap (can't get a better one, the DVD won't run in a computer drive) shows what I mean.

In fact, like the photos of the BBQ, this image - and entire fight - looks even brighter through "real eyes" than with the phonecam. Just as there can be too much dark in a night scene, there can also be too much light.

*****

One last thing I found when assembling pics for the post were Folding Candle-lanterns.

They were used from about the mid-1700s to the later 20th century (Swiss Army ca. 1978) as travel accessories and emergency equipment, and IMO - I've Made A Note - they'd fit right into a fantasy world whose tech level was able to make them.

The first and last are reproductions: this one is real, from about 1830.

The clear part was mica - a transparent mineral which can be split into thin flexible sheets - while others use horn / parchment, though both of these are translucent rather than transparent. Regardless, all were far less likely to break than glass.

One or two inner surfaces were usually tin, giving the lantern its own built-in reflector, and tech-level-wise, tin as a shiny or decorative finish has been used since Roman times.

I'm pretty sure that top-of-the-line models could also have been finished with their own matching, maybe even built-in, tinderboxes.

And if real ones didn't, fictional ones certainly could. :->

*****

Yet more period lighting stuff here, including flintlock alarm clocks (!)

[holybibly]

Today's unholy thoughts, bunnies. We always talk about the sweet, innocent bunny. But what if our bunny was a feisty and experienced girl, hmmm?

So here's the plot: You're a coordinator of sexy fanservice for kpop idols.

"Seonghwa, lick your lips slowly. That's right, boy, use your tongue. 

"Wooyoung, roll up your shirt sleeves so everyone can see the veins on your forearms. You know how Atinys love that. You're doing great; keep going."

"Okay, Mingi, show everyone what you can do with those thighs." 

"Sannie, baby, give us that sweet, dimpled smile. I want to hear them squealing." 

You sat in a huge gaming chair in the waiting room in front of a big monitor, watching the concert. A large pink headset with cat ears flashed and shimmered in a variety of colours each time you plugged into one of the members' earpieces. At this very moment, you were urging Hongjoong to undo a few buttons on his shirt. You wanted Atinys to have a chance to enjoy his big 'heart'. And this was your first year with Ateez as a fan service supervisor. Or, as you like to call yourself, the sexuality coordinator. 

If you had to choose one word to describe what you're doing, you'd say, Dream. Imagine that your job is to let the fans wishes and fantasies come true, and you get paid for that. You're quite famous in the industry. You've worked with popular groups such as BTS, Seventeen, and Stray Kids and participated in solo projects for Taemin, Hwasa, Kai, and other popular idols, and now you've worked with Ateez. 

They were passionate, beautiful, and very talented, but along with that, they had a huge problem with sexuality and proper fan service. Sure, the guys were very fiery and charismatic when they were performing, but that didn't help them if they were not properly coordinated. And that's where you came into the picture. 

It was easy up to a point; the boys would obediently follow your instructions, diligently following all of your recommendations, from the way they dressed to the way they behaved with the fans during the fansites. But something started to change in the way they behaved with you. Their touches became too long and more and more explicit, their words more and more vulgar and provocative, and their looks more and more hungry and wet. Hell, it was getting to the point where they were starting to use your own recommendations and advice against you. And it was annoying as hell. 

"Noona, you want me to show you what that tongue can do? You know I won't disappoint." 

"Baby, if you like my veins so much, you can lick them if you want to."

"Doll, how about I show you how those hips can move when I fuck you senseless?"

"Princess, my smile is going to be so much sweeter after I fuck you."

But the boys should have known better than to play games you were a professional at.

[cepheustarot]

What awaits you in May?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: At the beginning of the month, you may have an unforeseen situation, force majeure, which will change your plans, which were supposed to be implemented in may but because of this situation the implementation will either be postponed or you will change your decision and do it differently. As I see it, for the most part you planned these plans together with other people, your family or friends but someone could change their mind at the last moment and refuse to participate or a strong quarrel may arise with someone. Naturally, you will be nervous because of unforeseen circumstances, thoughts may arise "why not give it all up, give up this idea" but as the cards show, it is better not to abandon the implementation here but to look for an alternative, since in the end everything will turn out much better than you imagined! 

Also, this month the chance to change jobs or occupation / try a new hobby will be quite high as you will receive a good offer from a company or employer with good working conditions and a good salary/ rate per hour. However, your current employers may stop you, because they are afraid of losing you, you are a valuable employee for them and this can create small problems when you are fired. Also, if you are in business, your sales will increase significantly this month, you can make profitable deals with someone, invest profitably in some business.  If you are studying, then you will also succeed this month but it is important to make an effort here since you may have strict teachers who are very picky about the answers or you can write tests where one mistake can lead to the loss of many points, so be careful! 

Also this month, there is a high chance to meet a new person who will later become a good friend for you or, if you are looking for a relationship, will become a good partner. As I see it, you will spend a lot of time with each other, you will get to know each other, create joint memories, in general, you will be very comfortable and good next to this person. If you are already in a relationship, then this month is a good opportunity to strengthen your bond or resolve problems between you, establish a relationship and get closer, spend time together. You can also spend a lot of time with your family this month, in particular with your siblings.

Pile 2: At the beginning of the month, your problem which lasted for a long time will be able to be solved, you will finally be able to find a way out of the situation and thanks to this you will feel so relieved, weight has finally fallen off your shoulders, you will have a slight feeling of freedom, you can feel so confident as if you won the most difficult competition and took the prize! It can be anything, getting rid of debts, solving psychological problems, solving financial problems, overcoming a crisis, resolving a conflict with people — in general, something that has been burdening you for a long time. You may also have felt depressed and tired lately, felt like your mood was sad most of the time, it might be difficult for you to enjoy some little things and your condition will improve significantly this month. Here, in general, the rough patch will end, luck and happiness will accompany you in your life! 

I also see that this month you will have the opportunity to change something in your life that will help you feel better, here the emphasis is that you would like to get rid of the past, of the memories that burden you: you can change your appearance, your style,change of scenery and go somewhere for a while or move altogether, change your social circle, hobbies, change your job / occupation, change the interior of the apartment, you can add decor, you can discover new places in the city, find new people, you can also change inside yourself, change your views — anything can happen here that can improve your mood and well-being. 

This month you will also make new plans, goals and work on their implementation, here I see that you will definitely succeed since this will be something very important to you, you will be burning with the idea and strive to achieve what you would like, probably this motivation came to you after improving your well-being and it's very cool! Here you can study something a lot, try to figure out a topic, consult with others, improve your skills, even if you start something new, you will be accompanied by success and luck!

Pile 3: This month you may feel tired from the oversaturation of events in your life, from an overabundance of emotions, from being with people often, and here I see you can feel how your social battery has "run out". You will distance yourself from people for a while, spend time alone or with only a small number of people but in any case you focus on yourself and taking care of yourself. You can take a vacation at work or take a break, spend time doing things that bring you pleasure that calm you down and do not strain you, you will pamper yourself here and do what you want. You can also get tired of the hustle and hustle and go to some quiet place for you, often visit your favorite places and “places of power" that fill you internally. 

And although I said that you will spend most of your time alone with yourself, I also do not exclude that you will want to meet with your inner circle, your loved ones may also meet  and offer to go on a trip to small towns, you can spend time outside the city but away from the hustle and bustle. And if you agree then this trip will also be able to fill you with internal resources, improve your well-being, you will feel how your fatigue gradually passes and your head is free of obsessive thoughts. 

At the end of the month, a situation will occur that will take you out of your inner balance: it will be unexpected, you will be required to quickly resolve the situation or do something in the shortest possible time, make a choice and naturally this can infuriate you. This may be related to work, for example, your boss will require you to do something urgently, make changes to the work, it may also be related to the family, there will be a heated dispute between family members and you will have to take someone's side, since it is difficult to remain indifferent in this case. In any case, it won't last long, you will get a grip and quickly resolve the problems that have overtaken you so you shouldn't worry too much about it.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[suguann]

Hello! My name's Anne | An adult in my mid to late 20's | A hobbyist writer

RULES:

• I write for many fandoms, including Call of Duty, JJK, Shadow and Bone, Star Wars, Game of Thrones, Haikyuu, One Piece, etc.

• This is an 18+ space, and I also write dark content, so please read all content warnings if that makes you uncomfy!

• Don't copy, paste, or translate.

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General tag

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Fic Recs

MASTERLIST:

JUJUTSU KAISEN

ও GOJO

• Possessive Gojo (18+)

He gives you another once-over, thinking of several ways to describe you, silly not being one of them.

• I Hope You Stay (18+) | Long Fic

He’d asked why your coworkers weren’t waiting outside with you—it's not safe here—at the same time you asked for a kiss. It just sort of slipped out.

• Virgin Gojo (18+)

His last slip of restraint is when he finally looks down to find a wet patch on the front of your panties and how you're starting to form a dark gray spot on his sweats.

• Messy (18+)

You look so small like this—smaller than usual because everything about him is big in comparison—and that stirs something foreign in his gut that he can’t name.

• Three's A Crowd (18+)

“If you ask nicely for what you want, maybe he’ll give it to you,” your husband offers evenly. (Gojo/ Reader/ Nanami)

• Be With Me (18+)

The feeling sneaks up on him without his knowing, a throbbing in his chest that festers and grows over time until he can’t ignore it anymore or contain it in the proverbial cup of his hands no matter how hard he tries.

• Everything Comes Back to You (18+)

"Did you know we'd end up here?"

• Possessive Geto (18+)

• What I Never Told You (18+)

Gojo doesn’t understand that the parents (mostly the moms who try to hide behind their giant sunglasses) at Mio’s soccer games talk, and he chooses today to pull you into his lap.

ও GETO

In times like this, he wishes he had never come up with the rule about keeping your relationship a secret—so nobody thinks I’m picking favorites—regret is a thick pill to swallow.

ও MULTI

• Prettiest Baby (18+)

They can't help it, they're kind of obsessed with you.

• Fuck It, I Want You (18+)

They're so infatuated with you.

CALL OF DUTY

ও GHOST

• Good (18+)

“Just a little more,” a small lie because there’s never just a little more when it comes to you.

• Let Me (18+)

There comes a point where Simon finally admits that he hates your new boyfriend. [Part Two]

• I Left It Wet For You (18+)

Simon doesn’t share, but he makes an exception this time after his best friend’s date is a no-show, and he isn’t heartless enough to let Johnny hang out at the pub alone. [Simon/ Soap/Reader]

• Smitten

He watches you swipe lipstick across your mouth, grinning at your reflection in the mirror atop the dresser, and it's the cutest fucking thing. 

• In Threes (18+)

Your ex-boyfriend makes you think you are the problem. Simon shows you that's not the case.

• New Girl

He has a feeling that the new girl running the front desk at the gym is going to be a problem—a distraction disguised in a gym uniform polo and khaki pants.

• Neighborly (18+)

Simon looks at you with a cocked brow and something akin to amusement as he watches you squirm in his doorway. 

• Abience (18+)

He’ll only realize this after the fact—weeks late, sleepless nights filled with images of daisy-shaped buttons down the front of a summer dress and a smile that nearly knocks him flat off his feet.

ও PRICE

• Redamancy (18+)

You tried not to grow feelings—you really did. Feelings make things complicated, but you can’t help it. John’s just…John.

BALDUR'S GATE

ও ASTARION

• Oh, Darling (18+)

He’s in a perpetually strange mood for the rest of the day, quieter than usual and more sulky, and you have the sneaking suspicion he's upset with you.

[carionto]

Humans really like space wildlife

As Humanity integrates itself within the Galactic Coalition ever further, trade and travel between Sol and neighboring member systems is growing at exponential rates. In particular, their interest in the native wildlife of other planets is the most widely expanding sector for tourism and commerce.

Even though it is also the most heavily regulated and restricted one, Humans, who typically display a desire to subvert the normal procedures to expedite any process they can, for this they are surprisingly willing and eager to fill in all the necessary paperwork and spend hours upon days making sure they follow and adhere to all the requirements to import some of these creatures.

While such level of determination is not uncommon for new member species who discover a certain non-native creature or something that to the respective natives is commonplace but for them is the pinnacle of exotic, the variety of requests made by Humans is nearly as great as the entire list of known fauna species. And the reasons listed on the forms are even more diverse:

"That's a unicorn! I've always dreamed of having a unicorn and you're telling me there's a dozen subspecies?! Yes, please!!!"

"After reviewing their behavior, this bear-sized fluff-ball is the perfect cat I've always wanted, but couldn't because of allergies. I'll treat them with love and care, my life is incomplete without this fella."

"Tiny. Elephant-duck. Want."

"Our company was looking for a mascot, and these six-legged spindly beaver-crabs are perfect. Here's our mission statement and prepared accommodations for a flock."

"They all said I hallucinated the lizard sasquatch when I was on that acid trip, but now I'll show 'em. It's real. I knew it all along!"

"Aww, these baby puppies are so adorable (referring to the four meter, 800kg Fanged Widowmaker of Abyss Valley predator). My kids were looking through your alien picture books and instantly fell in love with these ones."

And so on. At first we had to reject quite a few, mainly because half of them were deadly beasts from Deathworlds that are almost impossible to capture in the first place. Then the Human officials informed us that, while they will try to stop it from happening, if we don't make importing and adopting even the most dangerous animals in the known Galaxy reasonably possible for them with Human help and expertise in the field, some Humans will set up illegal smuggling rings to "fill the market gap" as they said. Historically, they explained, that causes more problems and expenses than just handling it through official channels.

Reluctantly we were persuaded and have set up a new organization to quell this, apparently, unquenchable Human pack bonding condition. Even if said pet can kill them. We think, as horrible as it may be, that for some that is part of the appeal. Even the ones that breathe out literal poison.

"We'll wear a mask around them. This wendigo-like one is too cute to not get belly rubs."

Said the OFFICIAL Human Representative of a monstrosity that can only be described as the living incarnation of countless teeth, fangs, claws, vivid seizure inducing iridescent feathers, and a body that extends from a inconspicuous ambush pose to a fully 8 meter tall six limbed nightmare machine of Death!

[dukeofankh]

Trying to find progressive masculine community is so exhausting.

I've flipped through local men's groups, trying to find places to explore masculinity in a chill, progressive setting. First of all, they mostly seem to be modelled after AA, and like, my gender isn't a debilitating addiction, it's part of my identity actually, but also, the invite and description of the event have maybe a short paragraph tops actually waving vaguely in the direction of what the purpose of the group is, and then ten to twenty paragraphs breaking down the rules. One spent longer talking about the hand signals he would use to direct conversation than he did describing what the conversation would be about. Another had a full paragraph explaining that if the group thought you were evading what they thought your "real" problem was, they'd probably "call you to take accountability". Like...I don't even know who these people are yet and they're already letting me know that they view it as their right, no, their duty, to bully me into seeing things their way. Like, this is in the invite.

...and this warning is there instead of any sort of breakdown of like, I dunno. Whether you should be a feminist to show up. Whether it was a safe space for queer men. What the hell they wanted to talk about. Joining a men's space is on some level inherently submitting yourself to the authority of the leaders of that group, and you don't usually get a particularly clear breakdown of what the values and goals of those leaders are, because on some level the answer is always going to be "whatever I want"

And like, unfortunately you do need to filter men to build a men's space. You do need to remove or chastise men who act in ways that are toxic or disruptive or misogynistic. If you don't things turn into an MRA chapter pretty quick. But the sort of emergency powers that leadership takes on as a result of that...just kind of naturally end up reproducing masculine heirarchies.

MensLib, the only online community of progressive dudes talking about masculinity that I'm aware of, is...on Reddit. So there is a moderator system. In theory, a moderator is there to...moderate. This is a space where people are going to be talking, and mods are there to make sure things don't get too toxic or off topic.

The issue is that, on some level, that is technically a leadership position. In a sub trying to rehabilitate masculinity. So you've got a bunch of folks who view themselves as the leaders of this bastion of goodness standing against the depredations of the misogynistic internet, guiding the hapless smooth-brain neophytes towards The True Way.

In practice, this looks like 95 percent of the posts submitted for the subreddit being rejected. That isn't hyperbole. On average, the sub has about one new post per day. Almost all posts directly relating a personal experience are deleted immediately, in favour of articles written about masculinity in traditional media publications, which are considered more trustworthy than the sus lived experiences of the guys in the sub. The post I wrote here about the effect of purity culture on male sexual shame that's sitting at about 15K notes was based on a 10K word post I wrote for Reddit that was deleted because "I didn't cite any sources to prove that there is a link between purity culture and male sexual shame, or that my experience was anything more than anecdotal". I get comments deleted on a regular basis, and after paragraphs of protesting in modmail that my comments are both fully in line with feminism and not against the rules, the mods have just finally told me that the rules don't actually drive their actions as a team. They delete anything they feel leads the conversation in a direction they personally feel is unproductive. The rule cited at the time of deletion is really just the broad category of why they decided to hit the button that says nobody is allowed to read what I wrote.

The issue is kind of twofold. First of all, progressive men do not trust other men. A good dude knows that he, individually, is a good person, but literally any other man external to him is on thin ice. Do you really want to tie your wagon to that guy? Do you trust him, really? How do you tell the difference between a guy criticizing an article because it's factually incorrect and criticising it because a woman wrote it? Probably best to play it safe and delete it. Weight of the odds, he's probably a misogynist, right? This is the internet.

And thats the other half of it. If you view yourself as part of the leadership of The Good Guys, and you're getting hatemail from incels and facists all day, you get to the point where most of the time people challenge your authority it's because they're a terrible person. It is very, very easy to get to the point where someone challenging you is seen as evidence that they are a bad person. And now someone is challenging you (and therefore bad), in an environment where you are in charge, and you have a "make your opponent disappear" button.

I know. A Reddit mod was rude to me and now I'm butthurt. It's petty and stupid. I'm just feeling like there's nowhere else to really go, and I'm pretty despondent that literally every space I've seen that even looks like it might be for progressive men has the same deeply hierarchical structure and constant status-oriented squabbling as patriarchal spaces.

[skipper1331]

Is it too late to make things right? // Grace Clinton

a/n: based off this request. Hope you enjoy it!

Everything Grace Clinton did, made you furious.

It didn’t matter if it was the way she talked, laughed or played - even just her breathing, blinking or existing made you more than angry.

You hated Grace Clinton with a passion and no, not without any reason, as everybody always said.

"Don’t be so rude to Gracie, she did nothing wrong"

"Can‘t you be nice to her for once?"

"It‘s her debut show some respect"

You hated Grace Clinton for what she did to you and the way she had humiliated you.

But in fact, you respected her debut, she played phenomenally but obviously you didn’t tell her that - you didn’t talk to her at all.

After the game, you walked to the changing room, not looking at the midfielder or giving her congratulations for her game.

"What the fuck is your problem?" the voice of Alessia shrilled through the hall.

"Are you talking to me?" you asked dumbfounded, confused on what the problem was.

"Who else?"

Shrugging your shoulders, you looked at her. "Come on, out of everybody you were the first one to flee the scene"

"and apparently, you the second one, hm?" you cut her off, "Alessia, say what you want to say or leave me alone" you stated firmly, even though you already knew what the problem was: Grace Clinton.

Taken back from your firm voice and the use of Alessia instead of Less made her crumble under your gaze - you loved nicknames, you rarely called people by their actual name.

"What is your problem with Grace?" she asked anyways.

"I don’t have a problem with Clinton"

There it was - Clinton, it clearly showed your disliking.

Alessia knew you well enough to know that that was a lie, not only because you were a terrible liar but the Clinton gave it away. If Lessi had to describe you, she would say "When she calls you by a nickname, she loves you - you’re her friend. When she calls you by your actual name, she a) doesn’t know you yet or b) the situation is serious. When you get called by your surname, there is a problem."

"Didn’t think you’d be a liar" she replied, slowly getting annoyed at your behavior. Grace was like a little sister to her, she had to be protected at all costs.

"And I don’t think I have asked for your opinion"

With that you turned back around and continued your walk to the changing room.

"Ever since Grace is here you’re an absolute ass!" the blonde yelled after you.

-

You avoided Alessia, and Grace even more after your encounter with the blonde. Out of everyone, you didn’t expect Alessia to be rude to you. Not only because she‘s a sunshine herself but because she‘s your club teammate too. But it’s about Clinton, of course she would protect her.

What Alessia didn’t know was that her sweet Gracie was an ass herself, rude and mean.

-

"Hey"

You looked up from your book, seeing Less in front of you, before taking a seat beside you.

"Can I help you?" you asked, turning the page in your book, focusing on the words there.

The striker sighed, thinking about what to say - she stayed silent.

"I‘m not in the mood for being yelled at again, so with all respect, please leave me alone"

"I‘m sorry for my outburst" she apologized, "I’m just trying to understand what the problem is.."

This time it was you who sighed, closing the book, "Less, I don’t want to be rude, but it‘s none of your business. Gracie is not the person she used to be and neither am I. We play for the same country and that‘s it" you stood up from your seat, intending to leave - running away.

Alessia was shocked, not about the part where you said it’s none of her business - she knew you were right - you didn’t call the current Tottenham player Clinton but Gracie. You could have chosen anything yet you said Gracie, a nickname.

"What happened between the two of you?" Her hand on your arm stopped you, Lessi‘s voice caring.

On clue, said person came into view, locking eyes with you.

"We grew apart"

It was the longest eye contact you had with her since what? maybe years. Familiar feelings rummaged through your body - looking into the eyes you once loved so dearly.

Anger was displayed on her face, marching over as she purposely and aggressively bumped into you, "watch where you‘re going" she spat which you only ignored.

"What the fuck, Alessia" the midfielder growled, pulling her somewhere more private.

"Why are you talking to her about me!"

"Grace-"

"No, Alessia! This is absolutely none of your fucking business. She broke up with me years ago, so let her be!"

"Who broke up with whom?" The noisy voice of Ella chipped in. The place Grace chose wasn‘t as private as she had thought.

"Y/n was your girlfriend?"

The young lioness inhaled, closing her eyes for a brief moment, "no.. she ended things before I could ask her."

"Why?" Tooney asked as the best friends shared a look.

"We should go on a walk" the blonde striker then proposed, to which Grace surprisingly agreed. The topic had been bothering her for years, not knowing what she had done wrong, that you didn't want anything to do with her anymore. From one day to the next you ignored her, stopped talking to her - didn't even look at her. What had she done wrong? Her heart still breaks when she thinks back to the evening when everything went downhill. She wanted to ask you that night if you would like to be her girlfriend. You had danced around your feelings quite a while, even though you both knew there was something there - the stolen kisses, the sneaky touches, the love letters - but you broke her heart before she could ask you, even though the real reason was that she had broken your heart first.

"Why haven’t you talked to us?" Lessi asked as the three of them walked outside of the facility in Spain.

Shrugging her shoulders, "there was never a reason to" she replied, "we never played at the same club, so it was easy for her to avoid me, same goes with the call up - she got hers earlier, so we didn’t see each other at camps either"

"How do you feel now? Seeing her?" this time it was Ella who asked.

"I‘m being rude to her. And I know that‘s not right, but it‘s- I don’t even know, unspoken anger I guess, because she just broke my heart and because that‘s the only attention I will get from her…"

"You loved her, didn’t you?"

"I do"

"Do?"

"Did? Have? Do? I don’t know" she mumbled, "how could I not? You know her, she‘s more than incredible"

Years later, Grace still wasn’t over you, being near you made it clear. She couldn’t get over the things she felt for you. You were the first girl she‘s kind of been with. You were her first love story and her first love.

Putting her feelings aside, busying herself with work didn’t heal her, it just made her feelings more intense as they came crashing down now.

"Have you ever tried talking to her?"

"Of course! I asked her so many times what I did wrong, she never answered me" she sighed.

Alessia and Ella had never seen their friend so vulnerable and tired. Her facade had dropped, she deeply cared about you yet all the unanswered questions turned into anger - she just didn’t know how to deal with her feelings and the struggle of not having you in her life.

She missed you.

-

To say that Ella and Alessia saw you differently now was only partly correct. Both of them had many questions, what did happen? What was the reason you ended things before they even started? Has Grace done something wrong? But most importantly: Was there a way to make amends?

It was the next day after training when the best friends decided to take matters into their own hands. You two had to sort things out. The rudeness started getting more and more while the tension grew thicker each second. To be fair, it didn’t affect either of your or the teams playing performance as you kept things professional on the pitch yet off the pitch both of you acted like angry toddlers towards each other.

"We need to do something" Ella huffed at Alessia, both of them watching you growling at Grace.

"Do what? Lock them in a room??" Alessia intended to joke which the midfielder took seriously. "That‘s an awesome idea!", pulling the girl towards Mary - they definitely needed her help.

And when Mary was introduced to the idea, the three, so called master minds, came up with a perfect plan.

-

"Grace, wanna play darts?" Ella asked the young lioness, grinning.

"Um, maybe later" asked person replied as she relaxed on one of the bean bags in the 'movie' room.

"Are you afraid you‘ll loose?" Tooney challenged - she knew Grace could never back down a challenge and not even the slightest when it was something as simple as darts. It can’t be that hard to throw a dart, can it?

Meanwhile Mary asked you the exact same, the only difference that you agreed in an instant, darts something you loved to play in camps.

Walking to the 'game' room of the facility - a room with darts, pool and table football - the gk and you talked about the last upcoming friendly.

Arriving in the room, "I forgot my lucky dart!" Mary suddenly stated, leaving the room quickly, "I’m back in a moment" she called.

Not thinking anything about it, you waited for her to come back.

She didn’t.

In fact, when the door opened again, someone stumbled into the room before the door was quickly locked.

"Ella?!"

"Sorry for pushing you!" the man united player answered behind the closed door.

"Why are you locking me in this room?"

"Turn around" you answered.

The current Tottenham player jumped, "don‘t scare me like that!" her hand clutching over her heart, trying to calm down.

"You have to sort things out" Alessia joined the conversation.

"We can play darts after that" Mary added.

"We‘ll be back in an hour"

You grumbled under your breath, marching away from Grace who stood in front of the door hoping it would open magically.

"I guess, we have to talk if we want to leave this room today" Grace said after 10 minutes of an awkward silence.

"No thanks" you responded nonchalantly. You didn‘t want to talk to Grace ever again unless it was work related.

"Come on, don’t be so stubborn" the midfielder slowly walked towards you sitting on the pool table.

"Grow up, Clinton"

"I grew up while we grew apart" she mocked your words - words that hadn’t left her mind ever since you said them. What did you even mean by that? You haven’t grown apart - you ended things out of nowhere!

"Clinton, leave me alone"

That was the last straw, "can you fucking stop with the Clinton?!" she snapped, stepping right in front of you. She hated it. Yes, it was her surname and she loved to see it on the back of jerseys but she hated it when you called her that. What happened to Gracie? Lovely girl? Or love?

"Get a grip, Clinton"

There was no point in making an effort - you wouldn’t talk, you‘ve made that very clear.

Grace walked to the other side of the room, sitting down on the little bench that was the next to the dartboard.

She felt helpless. And even though she was in the same room, it felt like the two of you were oceans apart.

The silence was deafening.

You didn’t mind that - as long as Grace was shutting her mouth, you‘d be fine with everything.

Grace did mind it - it made her anxious. She was closer to you than she had been in years. This was her opportunity to find out what she did wrong and what the reason was that you hated her now. What happened to being friends? Secret Lovers? What’s happened to the chance of being together forever?

"Y/n/n, please" the young lioness almost whispered. You froze, you hadn’t heard that one in years - the midfielder, the only one who ever used that nickname.

"Just answer one question and I promise you to never talk to you again off pitch"

"You better keep that promise" you said firmly, turning around as the Tottenham player jumped up, walking towards you.

Leaning against the table football, she thought about her questions - which would be the best to ask.

"What did I do wrong?" It was the most obvious question to ask but maybe the answer would finally give Grace some inner peace.

"Seriously? Of all the questions you could have asked, you chose one where you already know the answer-"

"But I don‘t! I don’t know anything! Out of nowhere you cut me off! Pretending I don’t exist!"

"You don‘t exist to me anymore" you stated rather calmly while Grace was gesticulating wildly, frown and the wrinkle between her brows deepening.

"How can you say that?! I used to be important to you"

Lowly, you empathized "Used to" which was only partly true. Parts of your heart always yearned for Grace, hoping she was doing well and achieving all of her dreams.

A part of you still loved Grace Clinton, and forever will.

"Just- just answer the question, please"

"You humiliated me, Grace, you humiliated me in the worst way you ever could."

"How? I‘m so in love with you, i would never dream of upsetting you in any way."

You laughed, clapping your hands, "You‘re funny"

"What‘s wrong with you?!"

"What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?" You felt yourself getting angry, starting to match her furios energy. As if Grace didn‘t know what she had done - what sick game was she playing?

"You humiliated me, Grace, that’s what wrong. How could you? I thought- i thought you liked me. At least enough to keep private things private and not to read them out loud in the fucking locker room!" your voice took many changes in that short statement. It started off calm, before it turned sad, almost vulnerable as the last part was full of venom.

The midfielder froze on the spot, arms falling to her sides as she realized what the problem had been years ago and still was.

The unknown feeling exposed now, flashbacks crossing her mind from that day, "the letters" left her mouth, eyes wide. How could it be that she hadn't thought of this sooner? Now everything made sense! Your anger and hostility towards her, the abrupt break in contact. The world was no longer your enemy, your only enemy was someone you believed would never break your heart. A someone that had promised you to fight with you against the world but instead, she had weakened you so much that you no longer had the strength to do so - your last strength was directed against her.

"Exactly. I‘ve heard what you said, Grace. And the worst part? You didn’t even read them. Our friend read them out loud and you laughed about them, telling the whole locker room that i was weirdly obsessed with you 'Nah. I don‘t stand her - she follows me around like a lost puppy. I don‘t even like girls' I remember everything, word for word, Clinton"

Your eyes turned glossy, you never healed from that humiliation.

"Listen to me-"

"No, you will listen to me." you growled, your voice was so full of anger, stepping towards her to intimidate her, "stay away from me"

Grace was breathing heavily, her eyes darting around your face - you were so close to her.

Not in control of her soul, mind or body, Grace smashed her lips against yours, hands gripping your hips as she pulled you close.

You couldn’t even register what was happening before your body responded in kissing her back - matching her energy.

The kiss was nothing like the kisses you shared before - it was feisty, all anger purred into this one kiss.

Yet it felt so good, your heart felt peace, an old familiar feeling you only ever felt when you were with the lioness. The walls you had built around it were gone. So even though Gracie was the reason why you had built them in the first place, she was now the reason why they collapsed.

When you slowly came to your senses, you pushed her away, lips swollen from kissing each other, feeling dizzy at the intensity and the feeling of happiness it had given you.

"I‘m sorry-"

"A sorry won‘t fix anything!" you shouted. You were so confused.

It was the first time where you ever had raised your voice at Grace. You didn’t mean the kiss but the girl knew exactly what you were referring to. And even though, you didn‘t like shouting or yelling in general, let alone at someone like Gracie, you defended yourself with that - an apology wouldn’t fix anything nor would a kiss.

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to raise my voice" you said, not liking a shouting atmosphere or the sad look in Grace‘s eyes.

"It‘s okay" the midfielder breathed out shakily, "you know, all of your love notes are in my wallet. I read them at least once a day" she admitted, staring at the floor, not being able to trust her voice if she would look you in the eye, "It was stupid to think that I didn‘t know what I have done wrong while it was in fact right in front of me. I broke your heart the day you broke mine." taking a deep breath, she sorted her thoughts, "I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, all I want to do is give you an explanation."

You nodded slightly - you always wanted an explanation but instead of confronting the girl that day, you ran away, protecting yourself more and more over the years.

"One of the girls found your letters in my bag when they searched for something, I don’t even remember what. She read them out loud while I was on the other side of the locker room talking to your friend. I asked her, if I had her blessing to ask you to be my girlfriend. I knew how important it was to you and since she was the only who knew about us, that was the least I could do. We never talked about telling our teammates, so when she read the letters, I panicked. I panicked because I didn‘t want to be outed by someone else. I also panicked because I didn’t know if you‘d be okay with me admitting our- my love for you. I got so scared in that moment, that my self-protection mechanism answered before I could even reflect the situation. It felt like a stranger was controlling me. And you‘re right, 'sorry' won‘t fix anything but I want you to know that it was never my intention to break your heart. I meant it when I said that I want you to be mine forever. I have always loved you and I don’t think, that I will ever love someone who isn‘t you. So, even though it won‘t fix anything; I sincerely want to apologize. I‘m proud of you and the footballer you became - I will always be your number one fan"

Throughout her explanation, three things remained in your mind,

1. I don’t think I will ever love someone else - did that mean she still loved you?

2. Strangely, you believed every word she said. Grace had never lied to you - she was a terrible liar anyways.

3. Ask you to be my girlfriend - she wanted to make things official..?

"I did. I wanted you to be my girlfriend the second you smiled at me. I remember your shy smile, the way you looked everywhere, only briefly stopping at me." she chuckled, a love sick smile on her face.

"I thought I said that only in my head" you mumbled, cheeks turning red.

As Grace took a step closer, her hands cupping your cheeks, so you would look at her instead of the floor. "I never wanted to be your enemy" she whispered, her lips pressing tenderly against your forehead - a confession and a promise.

In that moment, both of you realized that maybe it wasn‘t too late to make things right. But it would take time and patience for you to learn how to love and trust each other again.

[jessejaredstories]

Walk on the Wild Side

Sergio was a walking gay man’s fantasy. He was tall and muscular as fuck. Beefy could barely even begin to describe him as everything from his biceps, chest, thighs, back, and even ass were massive! He made his living off of flexing his hot body as well as fucking other beefy dudes on camera. Sergio was truly living the life many could only dream of having.

But although Sergio was living the good life, he couldn't deny that something was missing. More specifically, something about his sex life. Sergio loved his very active sex life and was more often than not satisfied after every hookup he had. Yet at the same time, Sergio found himself wanting more. He wanted something new, and he knew exactly who to contact. Kris the Kink Witch.

Sergio reached out to Kris through Twitter DMs. Kris, like Sergio, also made his living off of recording and selling the videos of his gay escapades. He was known to be one incredibly kinky motherfucker online, and he took great pride in it too- as evidenced by his self proclaimed title the Kink Witch. But unlike Sergio, Kris took a much more professional approach to his line of work. For Kris, it wasn't about pleasure, it was about money. He meant business, and he never shied away from demonstrating that fact.

Fortunately, Sergio was also pretty well-known in the online gay community. Kris recognized Sergio and responded back to him within a couple of minutes. Their conversation went as follows...

S: Hey, you're the Kink Witch right? I've got a request in mind.

K: Yo. Yeah that's me. You want to film a collab together?

S: Not at all. I was actually thinking you and I can link up and have some fun. No cameras. 

K: Sorry, I don't do charity work. 

S: Trust me, I don't either. I just need to have some real fun and I know someone like you can help me out with that goal. I'll pay you a good amount too if you're interested.

K: Go on, I'm listening...

Sergio and Kris went on to negotiate the deal. In exchange for a kinky night of fun, Sergio would pay Kris $2500 in cold, hard cash. However, in order to earn that money, Kris needed to get Sergio to cum and to feel real pleasure while doing it too. But before they could seal the deal, Sergio gave Kris a heads-up by saying that he had already done almost everything anyone can think of. If it wasn't something new and exciting like he wanted, then Sergio had no problem calling the deal off. Yet despite his stark warning, Kris accepted the deal without any hesitation. It slightly unnerved Sergio how confident Kris was. He was pretty sure they both had more or less the same amount of experience when it came to sex. Could Kris really know something Sergio didn't?

Regardless of the initial unease Sergio felt, it was too late to back down now. Kris was already on his way to his apartment. Sergio passed the time by doing the usual prep work of cleaning himself out, just as Kris told him to. Yet despite his best efforts to distract himself, Sergio couldn't help but wonder what Kris had in store for him.

Does this twink really think he's gonna satisfy me just by fucking me? Ha! I've already taken on plenty of men, there's nothing new he can do there! 

Sergio chuckled at his own thoughts. His curiosity was making his mind run wild. Luckily it didn't take much longer for Kris to arrive. He showed up at the entrance of the building and Sergio buzzed him in. Sergio then welcomed the young man into his home, and although he was excited to hook up, he couldn't help but wonder if he was in over his head by hiring some 20 something year old dude with messy hair and a dirty hoodie. 

"Alright, you ready?" Kris said as he began to strip down to nothing but his underwear. 

"Yeah, do you wanna go-" 

"Wrong answer," Kris interrupted Sergio. "I'll excuse the first mistake but you'll only address me as Sir, Daddy, or Papi from here on out. Got it?" 

Sergio was thrown off by how to-the-point Kris was but decided to just ignore it. 

"Yes, Sir." 

"Good boy, now whip out your cock. Get hard too,"

Sergio did as he was told. Kris did the same. Sergio was impressed with Kris' member. It was long and hairy with some decent girth too. Although his was definitely longer, Sergio's cock was the thicker one. They were both hung, Sergio like a bull and Kris like a horse. Once they were both erect, Kris reached down to his pants. He pulled out two rings out of the back pocket, one gold and one silver. He put the gold ring on, then handed the silver cock ring to Sergio.

"Put this on, then on the count of 3, twist it to the right."

Sergio held the cock ring in his hand. The silver hue of the ring almost seemed to glimmer under the light. He hesitated putting it on. It definitely wasn't the first time he wore a cock ring, but Sergio got an inexplicable feeling telling him that he shouldn't put it on. Kris noticed his hesitation right away.

"C'mon, don't be shy, put it on!" Kris said firmly. Sergio looked up and met his gaze but didn't say anything. A moment of silence passed, then Kris sighed.

"Look man, you paid me to do a job and I plan to deliver. You trust me, right?" 

Kris seemed slightly more empathetic now. It was just enough to make Sergio trust him. Sergio nodded, then proceeded to put on the ring. He placed it on the tip of his dick and slid it down to the base of his rock hard member. 

"Alright, ready? 1... 2... 3!!!"

Sergio and Kris then twisted their cock rings to the right at the same time. The moment they did, a wave of orgasmic sensations hit their bodies, causing them to throw their heads back with pleasure. 

"UURRGGGHHHHH!!!" They both moaned obscenely loudly. 

Sergio's vision blurred as he felt the wave of pleasure overtake him. His body trembled as the ring grew tighter around his cock, making it engorged. Then suddenly, Sergio became extremely lightheaded. He could feel his very soul leaving his body. As his soul stepped out of its vessel, Sergio lost all physical feeling as he became nothing but a mass of light. He looked ahead and saw the same had happened to Kris. Both of their souls had just stepped out of their bodies!

Sergio was mind blown by what he was seeing. But before he could even react, his soul began moving on its own. His soul was floating towards Kris' body. At the same time, Kris was floating towards his body. During the brief moment they passed each other, Sergio could've sworn he saw Kris smirking. His soul continued its march towards Kris' body, and as soon as it made contact, it began sinking into the soulless body. Sergio's soul aligned with its new vessel within seconds. Every single cell of Kris' was invaded by Sergio's soul, and he could feel ecstasy wash over him as his soon-to-be new body surrended itself to his control. Once it was done, Sergio immediately felt the difference as he longer possessed his jacked, beefy body but instead a hairy twink like Kris. 

"Arghh fuckk.. what the fuck..." Sergio said with his new voice. All of the extraordinary sensations he just experienced made him fall to the ground. While he was busy trying to recover, he could see his body moving out of the corner of his eyes. 

"Bro look at these fucking pecs! These are some massive slabs of meat on your chest!!" 

Sergio watched as Kris bounced and groped his pecs with shameless joy. Slowly but surely, while Kris was enjoying himself, Sergio came back to his senses. He sat up, then kneeled down onto his knees. Well, Sergio was mostly back to his senses anyway. The sight of seeing a burly man play his own chest was filling him with lust. The only thing on Sergio's mind was how to best worship and please his master. 

Kris noticed Sergio was basically drooling and smirked.

"What's the matter, you want something?" Kris stripped down naked, then bounced his pecs again. Sergio nodded his head vigorously. "Then ask for it, tell Daddy what you want."

"I want milk Daddy..." Sergio said with bated breath and dilated pupils. "Please, Sir, let me worship your beautiful pecs!" 

"Good boy," Kris put his thumb on Sergio's chin and flicked it down, leaving his mouth hanging open with his tongue out. "Now show your Daddy what you can do with that mouth."

As soon as he heard he got permission, Sergio couldn't contain himself anymore and pounced onto Kris. He immediately planted his mouth on one of Kris' nipples and began suckling away while Kris enjoyed getting serviced. He was smirking all the while. His plan had gone off perfectly; the cock rings switched their bodies! That was the kink Kris had planned for Sergio, and he knew it would be the fun night he could've never predicted. After all, nobody knew how literal his title of Kink Witch was. But while Sergio was aware that they switched bodies, there was one little detail Kris kept to himself. Both rings would allow a body swap, but only the gold one would let the user retain their original personality. Because Sergio used the silver cock ring, his soul was forced to absorb Kris' hidden total sub personality when it took over his body. It might still be Sergio in mind and spirit, but it was now Kris in personality. With Kris possessing Sergio's muscular body with his mind still intact, the conditions were now set for him to complete the request Sergio made. 

"FUCK yeah, just like that!" Kris moaned. He could feel as Sergio alternated between licking, sucking, and flicking his nipple with his tongue. His warm mouth felt amazing against his sensitive nipples. Kris pressed Sergio's face down into his chest. Sergio let out a muffled groan of pleasure as he motorboated Kris. They were both having the time of their lives, filling the room with their sensual moans. 

Kris let Sergio worship his chest for a while longer before moving onto the next phases. Within the span of the next half hour, they made out passionately and intensely. Kris stuck his tongue inside Sergio's mouth as they grinded their bodies together, sharing their body heat together. Kris then began moving his mouth down Sergio's body, covering his neck and torso with hickies as he bit and sucked on his body. All while Kris had his middle finger firmly set inside Sergio's ass, massaging his hole and making him squirm while he claimed him as his sub. 

Then, before the final act, Kris tore Sergio off his body. He had a hand wrapped around his throat, lightly choking the panting young man. Sergio's eyes were lit with an intense lust, begging and desperate for more. Kris smiled internally. He had him right where he wanted him.

"Fuck, Boy!! You really know how to please your Master, I wanna give you a reward... Are you ready? Are you ready for Daddy's present for his favorite sub?" 

Sergio whispered "yes Sir, please Sir." Kris then pulled out a couple more things he brought and gave them to Sergio, who put them on enthusiastically. 

Sergio laid there with his ass perked up. Kris came up from behind and laid his big, strong hands on Sergio's perky cheeks. He massaged him first, letting Sergio's bubble butt jiggle in his hands for a bit. He then spread his cheeks apart and leaned down to stick his tongue deep inside his ass.

"Nghh..." Sergio groaned. He could feel Kris' tongue swirl and flick around inside of him and it. Felt. AMAZING. 

Kris ate Sergio out for a while, making sure his ass was nice, wet, and ready for his girthy cock. Once he had enough of using his tongue, Kris got back up and positioned himself just above Sergio. He let his dick rest in between his cheeks and moved it up and down, making Sergio squirm in anticipation. Then, with a wide grin on his face, Kris stuck his dick inside of Sergio. He let out a silent "fuck..." as he watched his cock head penetrate his bound up sub. He thrusted slowly, letting inch by inch of his fat member disappear into Sergio's hole. Kris was proud of his tight and warm hole, and now he finally got a chance to fuck himself in a very literal way. He waited a bit to let Sergio's wall expand to accommodate his dick, then began pounding away at him. 

Loud obscene moans, guttural groans, and boorish grunts filled the room as the two men fucked. Kris found the perfect rhythm to move his hips, fucking Sergio like he was a jackhammer. Sergio closed his eyes as he took the dicking down like a champ. Somewhere in the back of his head was the vague memory that he and Kris had switched bodies. The thought of getting fucked by his own body made his pleasure increase tenfold. It was his own cock stretching out his hole and rearranging his insides. It was a strange thought, but Sergio didn't care. All he could think about was how he was Daddy's personal fleshlight and how much he was loving servicing a big, strong man like Daddy. 

They fucked for a while longer until Kris couldn't hold his load in any longer. He pulled out, flipped Sergio over, tore off the jockstrap, then stuck his cock back on.

"C'MON! CUM FOR ME! COVER ME WITH YOUR- FUCKKKKK!!!!"

Kris finished mid sentence. He rammed his throbbing dick deep inside Sergio and let out all of his loads inside of him. Hearing Kris' satisfied groaning as he cummed along with the sensation of getting filled with his seed made Sergio shootout ropes of warm jizz all over. Within seconds, they had both become incredibly sweaty, potently musky, and drenched in Sergio's spunk. Sergio got his walk on the wild side and Kris completed his job.

Once they cooled down and cleaned up, Sergio collapsed onto his bed. Aside from the mind blowing sex, he was also exhausted by swapping bodies. He was a first time swapper after all, it was only natural. 

But just before he could drift away into a deep sleep, he noticed Kris was still moving around with his body.

"Hey... what are you doing?"

"Daddy's gonna go have a night out with his bros. Don't worry about it, just go to sleep."

Kris hopped into bed with Sergio. He kissed him on the forehead, snuggled with him, and watched as he fell asleep in his embrace. Sergio was way too tired to question it, and Kris was glad. Kris then hopped out of bed and let Sergio rest inside his body while he went out to complete his next assignment: find a hairy, muscle bear with a big ass. Now it was his turn to bottom, and although Sergio woke up the next morning not knowing where Master was with his body, he had no problem patiently and eagerly waiting until Daddy returned home.

[sastrology]

SATURN: "WHAT DO I REACH FOR?"

SATURN IN THE NATAL CHART: HOUSES 1-5

disclaimer: what sign Saturn is in and how it is aspected will show a lot of information on how it is expressed in the natal chart, with some signs able to handle the energy of Saturn more productively. Saturn is not an inherently negative planet, as it signifies a lot of potential growth and karma for those willing to work hard for Saturn's demands.

MINI SEGMENT:

SATURN RETROGRADE: While it is not uncommon to have this planet in retrograde, it still makes an impact. It often signifies delays in the house it is in. Navigating public settings or those demanding specific etiquette may induce a sense of awkwardness for those with Saturn retrograde, revealing a complex relationship with social norms. Additionally, they may encounter more frequent karmic instances, suggesting a deeper connection to the consequences of their actions and choices.

SATURN IN THE FIRST HOUSE: To Find Myself

Saturnian energy exerts a pronounced influence in the first house, shaping the individual's appearance and demeanor. From my vantage point, the first house serves as a canvas, absorbing and reflecting the essence of any planet within it. They may appear older than they are, and carry a thin figure that harbors a serious expression. Others might describe them as having a somewhat solemn or cold demeanor, reminiscent of the impact Pluto can have in the 1st house. This effect can be likened to the aging process of a fine wine, where Saturn individuals may mature with time but grapple with underlying self-confidence issues. The late bloomer indication doesn't only apply to looks it also applies to the expression itself with most "finding themselves" later in life. In general, they will struggle with wondering if they deserve things. To top it all off, a deep yearning for the innocence of childhood may resonate within, as Saturn in the first house prompts a lifelong quest for balance between maturity and the childlike spirit buried within.

Positive aspects can help them navigate the challenges presented by the first house more adeptly. Nevertheless, a persistent struggle with feelings of deservingness may linger, casting a shadow on their sense of self-esteem.

RETROGRADE 1ST: Much like the expression of a direct Saturn the individual comes across as somber or expressionless, people with the retrograde here often heavily struggle with Saturn's demands, and the restrictions can be easily felt. The individual may struggle with extreme lethargy and motivation, and if negatively aspected they may easily break bones or experience dental issues. The demands of Saturn are especially burdensome to a rx Saturn as they can struggle with being shy or relying on other's often misconceptions of them to define them.

SATURN IN THE SECOND HOUSE: To Find My Worth

These individuals may have a deep fear of running out of things and emptiness. While the first house is all about self-expression, the second house is more about self-worth. It's no surprise that a positively aspected Saturn here could point to an individual who could be financially well-off. They may have a lot of projects to try to make money. While this position can be materialistic it is not in the way you'd expect. They're often trying to find self-worth through material items and possessions as each item has a "goal." Values for these individuals can be strict and unchangeable. They can have a strong fixation on money and will experience financial downturns very hard as this will reflect onto the self. When negatively aspected, debt could be a problem.

RETROGRADE 2ND: In the presence of a retrograde Saturn in the 2nd house, there is a heightened focus on financial matters and material possessions, with a potential inclination to prioritize them above other considerations. There could be a delay in financial stability and it may take them longer to pull themselves "up by the bootstraps" and struggle with being overly cautious when opportunities present themselves.

SATURN IN THE THIRD HOUSE: To Find My Words

Individuals with Saturn in the 3rd house often display a remarkable early aptitude for articulate and intelligent expression, or conversely, may choose a more reserved/silent approach to communication. Preferring to weigh their words carefully, they are not prone to impulsive statements, instead opting for a thoughtful and methodical approach to verbal expression. This is not a position known for public speaking, they have a quiet intelligence and excel in presentations and activities that afford them the space to think freely, unencumbered by the pressure of an audience. They are likely not known for being neighborly and may struggle with meeting strangers as they are not good at forced conversation or change. Auditory dyslexia/dyslexia is not uncommon here, either. They could also feel a strong sense of responsibility or burden regarding siblings if they have them.

RETROGRADE 3RD: Saturn being retrograde here in the third house points to an individual who struggles much more with communication than the direct Saturn. They may find themselves dealing with miscommunication on a daily basis. Likely to feel undervalued by peers, self-isolation is an indicator. The person may have to work harder than others to communicate or learn something effectively. They may struggle to relate to others especially when younger and feel self-conscious when speaking.

SATURN IN THE FOURTH HOUSE: To Find My Home

For individuals with Saturn in the 4th house, the words family and responsibility are synonymous. Being as the 4th house is a water house, Saturn's restrictions symbolize cold water. While it's not impossible to make the best of this position, It's possible the individual grew up in a frigid family, with a lot of rules and boundaries or with a parent(s) who were emotionally unavailable. Often they could have trouble being able to relax around family members/parental figures due to a pronounced level of strictness. The love received from family members may carry a sense of conditionality, where mistakes are met with little tolerance, marking an individual as a black sheep. There's a vulnerability to becoming entangled in familial responsibilities, especially if a family member falls ill, compelling the individual to assume the role of caregiver and potentially feeling trapped within the confines of the home.

RETROGRADE 4TH HOUSE: The person may find themselves at odds with the expectations imposed by the family, feeling constrained by a predetermined concept that doesn't align with their true self. This internal clash often gives rise to a natural rebellion or power struggle, as they grapple with the tension between their authentic self and societal expectations. They may have struggled to speak up or have a stable home. Reflection on the past becomes a significant aspect of their emotional landscape, influencing their present state of mind.

SATURN IN THE FIFTH HOUSE: To Find My Joy

Individuals with Saturn in the 5th house may struggle with the ability to find joy in things. More specifically, these individuals want happiness so much that the second they get it, they can give in to fear and over-analyzing. They will demand excellence in every creative endeavor they try to do, and if they fall short they could stop altogether. Within this house, Saturn's influence is particularly pronounced, shaping the individual's approach to joy, children, and love. Often they view love and children very realistically and are unlikely to suffer from rose-tinted lenses. Even if the individual has a bubbly, passionate chart, they will feel thwarted with spontaneity. Expressing themselves might pose a challenge, leading them to gravitate towards the background rather than the spotlight. During childhood, the vibrant colors of spontaneity were muted in favor of the practical tones of maturity.

Insecurity around dating and children is also common here as the individual may not find themselves very fun to be around, often trying to overcompensate for this. Due to this, they may find themselves drawn to older, mature partners. A negatively aspected Saturn here could point to issues with fertility, a worry/fear of children, or you may never have kids even if you wanted them. However, if children do come into the picture, the connection between parent and child is profound, often characterized by a sense of karmic intertwining, suggesting a deeper, soulful relationship.

RETROGRADE 5TH HOUSE: These individuals have learned to find joy they can only rely on themselves. Often introverted, cautious thinkers. Since the way these individuals experience joy appears to move backward, they may find they are the happiest when they are alone as the concept of joy is hard to grasp. While they can certainly enjoy carefree moments with others, these instances of happiness are fleeting, as living in the present proves to be a formidable task. Saturn's influence is marked by a perpetual forward gaze, always contemplating the future and analyzing potential vulnerabilities.

[silverwhittlingknife]

How would you describe Tim's people skills? Especially when you compare them to Dick's?

Hi anon, this was a fun ask!! I picked out a few panels for each of them (comforting friends, a bit out of sync with friends, fighting with friends, and offering practical support to friends) just to get a quick look at their people skills in action, and then I rambled on about my thoughts on their strengths and their weaknesses.

(Caveat: I'm going to try to focus on my ideas about differences between the two of them, since we're comparing, but I do think they're socially more similar than not, so you might also want to check out @bitimdrake's post on Dick and Tim's similarities for the big picture!)

Short version: I think they've both got good people skills. Dick's are a bit better and more natural, whereas Tim's are more practiced and learned (in ways that sometimes show).

Let's start with Dick first, and then I'll get back to Tim.

Dick

Comforting friends in Titans Secret Files:

Dick: Will you go back in there and sit down? This is my house. You don't need to clean up after me! Donna: I know, I just... I just ... Dick: Hey, hey... what's the matter? Donna: Nothing. It's nothing. Dick (reaching out to supportively grip her shoulders): Donna, this is me here, remember?

A bit out of sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Titans 3:

Dick: The movie runs 98 minutes. So if we fast-forward past the coming attractions and watch only half the credits, I can still make it back to Blüdhaven in time to - Roy: Nightwing, chill. Team morale demands that you relax and enjoy yourself.

Fighting with friends in Titans 13:

Dick: We haven't used it much, Changeling. But that's gonna be different. Starting right now. Our performance against Tartarus and the HIVE was unacceptable. Each and every one of you should thank God you weren't killed. Kory: How dare you? How can you just stand there talking to us like we're a military detachment -

Giving support to relative strangers in Nightwing 87:

Neighbor 1: Oh, he - he's a true gentleman, you know? Always holds the door, or helps me up the stairs with my groceries if we both come in at the same time... Neighbor 2: ...used his motorcycle to jumpstart my car one morning and even got my brother-in-law a job with Wayne Enterprises when he got laid off... Neighbor 3: ...and he's very, very, very nice and doesn't talk down to me. Plus he lets me use his basketball.

Offering practical support (making dinner) in Prodigal:

Tim: I can't believe you can actually cook... Dick: I like to eat. Tim: So does Bruce - but he had to order Chinese last night. Dick: That's where I'm one up on him - I've lived on my own without an Alfred. Still miss him, though... He was good for a lot more than cooking and cleaning. Tim: Yeah. But at least we don't have to miss him on empty stomachs.

Strengths:

I think Dick's people skills are pretty simple: he has them! He's good at people! And I tend to think of Dick's people skills as so automatic they're mostly instinctive. It's not something he really has to think about because it's so ingrained in him. A combination of natural talent plus a childhood spent around sociable performers means Dick's just really highly attuned to the people around him.

And I don't think he's particularly obvious about it. So e.g. you could be having a conversation with Dick where he didn't seem like he was paying close attention, but if there was An Important Moment where you got anxious for a moment or let something important slip or let a bit of anger show through etc. - Dick will have picked up on it, even if it's unconsciously, and it'll stick with him and come back to him later.

And just generally - I think Dick has good instincts for who he can trust and who he shouldn't trust; when he's treading on conversational landmines he'll often pick up the unease even if he doesn't have the context to know why there's a problem; if he's trying to comfort and trusts his instincts he'll often do the right thing even if he can't justify in words why he felt like that was the right thing to do.

So I think for Dick, there's always the level of conscious awareness - the things he's aware he knows, if you will - and the level of unconscious awareness - things he senses, but maybe can't explain, or maybe doesn't want to know so he's suppressing the thoughts.

So he's good at leading, and he's good at comforting, and he's good at listening, and he's good at figuring out the right thing to say...

Like, he's good at all of it, so it's actually sort of difficult to elaborate because there's just not that much nuance? Given any particular interpersonal situation, Dick has an excellent chance of getting a quick read on some random guy he's just met and then getting the reaction he wants pretty fast, whether it's intimidating the guy or comforting him or getting him to cooperate or taunting him until he loses his temper, etc etc etc.

Obviously Dick's not a mind reader, and he can get things wrong, especially when he's in the throes of one of his own personal crises, but generally I think Dick's very very sure-footed with people, even with strangers.

Weaknesses:

This isn't a weakness precisely because Dick's usually doing it on purpose, but he'll sometimes have fights with his friends because they think he's acting overly professional/detached and he thinks they're not being professional enough. So e.g. in Titans 13, you can see Dick's set up the room almost like he's leading a business meeting, and he's the boss lecturing them, and they're reacting by getting mad at him. Part of this is basically a Traditional Bat Problem - Tim's friends also balk because they feel like Tim's keeping them at a distance - but Dick tends to lean especially hard on "I'm The Leader Here So Shut Up And Do What I Say" professionalism / distancing.

When things are going well, Dick's friends may grumble at his intense professionalism but basically appreciate it (this is basically how things go in their reunion in TT vol 2); when things are not going well, though, it becomes a point of tension. Generally, Dick gets extra-professional as a coping mechanism when under stress, as here in TT vol 2 12:

To the extent that Dick falters with social skills, it tends to be almost exclusively with people he knows well, not with strangers. Dick sometimes struggles with maintaining relationships, largely because he's often juggling multiple responsibilities; he'll sometimes get hyperfixated on something and deprioritize his more stable relationships (so e.g. when he gets fixated on trying to fix Blüdhaven and gets distracted from his relationship with Babs).

Somewhat relatedly, if things start going wrong in his own life, he tends to self-isolate out of shame and avoid everyone he thinks of as more put-together. So, for example, in the aftermath of Blockbuster, he's a self-destructive mess who's trying to dodge and/or drive away Clark and Roy and Tim (all people who care about him and would want to help), but Sophia Tevis and Rose are two messed-up young strangers in trouble and their obvious neediness trips his "urgency" meter, plus he may be a mess but they have no context to realize that so he doesn't feel so self-conscious, and he's able to be drive-by super-helpful to them and then dive right back into privately self-destructing.

Also not a weakness per se, but he tends to be a bit of an introvert in general - he and Wally are close, but they go long stretches of time without catching up; when he's spending time with friends, usually it's Donna / Wally / the Titans / Tim visiting Dick rather than the other way around; he's more likely to get cajoled into joining a team than the other way round - Wally talks him into rejoining the Titans and Roy talks him into joining the Outsiders. He likes people and likes spending time with friends, but he's usually not the one initiating a social gathering. He's self-aware about this; in Titans 9, he muses, "It's not the newness that's the problem. The problem is the old stuff. The ruts. You know someone long enough - well enough - and you fall into a rut with them... you completely take the relationship for granted..."

Relatedly, because Dick's pretty self-contained, he has a recurring problem where loved ones interpret him as distant or detached or indifferent even when he's still passionately attached - both Kory and Babs break up with Dick in part because they feel like he's not really that committed to them (also there are mmm Problematic Plotlines involved but I'm ignoring those for the purposes of this post), and in both cases IMO they're misreading him. He's deeply upset by both breakups and responds with big declarations of feeling and, uh, proposing marriage shortly afterward. (Okay, so he's not ALWAYS sure-footed sdfdsfs)

When Dick's getting something wrong, it's usually because he's upset and overcompensating - when things with Kory and Babs are tense, he tries to fix it with Big Gestures; when Vic's mad at him about spying, he missteps with an elaborate secret plan culminating in a big dramatic offering of a new body which Vic does want... but he's still understandably miffed at Dick for making a bunch of decisions behind his back instead of talking to him. Dick guesses right about something Vic will want, but because Dick when he's feeling guilty tends to slide into I-Am-The-Leader, I-Must-Fix-Everything-By-Myself, I-Am-Responsible-For-Everything mode, he forgets that the whole original problem is connected to not respecting Vic's autonomy / right to make decisions for himself, and that a better gesture would be asking Vic what he wants instead of once again making decisions on his behalf without consulting him. (I'm sympathetic to Dick's spying-on-Vic plan on account of how Vic did turn into an evil moon for a bit - comics are bonkers, you guys sdfdsfs - but I'm also very sympathetic to Vic feeling that he deserved fuller disclosure here.)

And you can see similar patterns in lower-key conflicts too: every time Dick gets accused of being just like Batman, it's usually because he's coming off as harsh or detached or uncaring (sometimes on purpose because he's pushing people away; sometimes just because Dick handles grief and fear by shutting down; sometimes because his the-buck-stops-here leadership style can come off as overly-detached), even though Dick actually cares SO SO MUCH, all the time, about everyone he knows.

But honestly... these weaknesses exist, but they're minor in comparison to his strengths?? Dick's a guy with a lot of very strong friendships for a reason. He's true as steel and once he cares about you, he cares about you forever. <3

OKAY! So that's Dick. Let's finally move on to...

Tim

Comforting friends in Joker's Last Laugh 3:

Tim: Babs? Is everything okay? (hugs her)

A bit out-of-sync with friends (but still getting along well) in Young Justice 7:

Cassie: A campout isn't a campout without a real fire. It's no fun at all. Tim: But the generator is far more efficient, Cassie. It's non-polluting, it poses no threat of forest fire, and it's... it's ... (taking in everybody else's expressions, sighing, reversing course) It's no fun at all. Impulse, can you...?

Fighting with friends in Adventure Comics 3 (stonewalling, avoidance, and lying!)

Conner: You weren't picking up. Tim: I didn't know it was you. Conner: I turned off my caller ID blocking. Tim: I was busy. I am busy. Conner: Too busy to talk to your best friend? Tim: Yes. No.

Giving emotional support to relative strangers in Robin 98 / 100 / 156:

Wesley: I just wanted to thank you. They tell us at the meetings that it's important to let people know how you feel. You did a lot for me - making me sober up. If you hadn't taken the time to notice - (Later) Tim: You're gonna stay strong, right? (Wesley: Right.) Tim: You're gonna stay sober, okay? (Wesley: Okay.) Tim: You're gonna do it 'cause - Wesley: 'Cause if I don't you'll come back and kick my butt all over campus. Tim: Uh huh.

(The redhaired guy was about to jump. Tim convinces him to sit down and talk first.) Tim: So, you're in college? Guy: Yeah, I'm a freshman. How'd you know? Tim: Just a hunch. I'm guessing you don't like it much. Guy: I always hated high school. Always felt like I was outside looking in, never part of any group or anything. I was on the diving team but even then I didn't feel like part of it. The only good thing was that was where I met Lori, my girlfriend.

Offering practical support (medical care and tea) in Batgirl 59:

Tim (treating her injury as she shares her traumatic past): Whoa. That's ... horrible. Cass: That's nothing. Stephanie and I used to laugh about - oh... uh... never mind. Wait, Tim. I... I'm so ... stupid, I don't - Tim: You're not stupid. Want some tea? Cass: I ... uh... yeah. Thank you.

Strengths:

Tim! I think Tim's also pretty decent at people - not as good as Dick, but hardly anyone is?

I tend to think of Dick as instinctively good at people, and Tim as more consciously good at people.

Tim spends a lot of time being intentionally watchful: observing, spying, psychoanalyzing people, paying careful attention to what they say, thinking about what makes them tick. (And Tim psychoanalyzes himself, too. Tim is studiously engaged in the study of Tim, and of Tim's friends, and of Tim's family. He's often playing a role, even when that role is "Tim Drake.")

So e.g. in Red Robin, at one point Tim has an elaborate domino-falling database where he's compiled a list of villains he wants to fight and how he wants to fight them, all leading up to a very careful takedown plan for Boomerang where he's thought through and anticipated Boomerang's every move ahead of time... and he's basically right! He gets it all right!

And this kind of intensely-studied logical chess-game of "he will do this for this reason, and then this for that reason, and the other people will respond in this way, like a series of dominos, and I've thought through all the possibilities" is Very Tim to me, and I feel like... this is just the sort of thing that Dick would never ever do?

And mostly Dick wouldn't do it because he wouldn't have to. When Dick's skeptical of James Gordon Jr., he goes to talk to the guy and feel him out, and he ethically feels obliged to give him the benefit of the doubt because there's no evidence against him, but he's got a bad feeling and doesn't trust him and secretly slaps a tracer on him because he's got an instinct he'll want it, and he's right: James Jr. is up to something, and that tracer is exactly the thing that Dick needs.

And similarly if Dick wanted to goad James Jr. into doing something, I think he'd go off and meet him and goad him into doing it, and he'd have an instinct for what to say to make that happen - I think the whole elaborate domino plan that Tim comes up with for Boomerang would feel unnecessarily complex to Dick. Not that Dick doesn't make complicated plans, because he absolutely does, but Dick doesn't usually overthink people.

Similarly, if Dick had been the little kid in Lonely Place of Dying, he'd have gotten worried and gone straight to Bruce and talked to him, not gotten worried and taken photos of Bruce from a distance and then come up with an elaborately overthought plan to go to New York and track down his estranged son and fix him that way. And, like. Kid!Tim's not entirely wrong! He's correctly picked up on a very real and very strong connection between Bruce and Dick even though he doesn't know either of them! And given how little actual information Tim has, this is actually an impressive plan (it's a bad plan, because Tim doesn't know about their fights, but it's an impressively solid plan given that his entire information basis is "watched them from a distance and collected news reports"). But this isn't how Dick thinks about people.

Backing up to a more general point: Tim values people skills really really really highly. I think "uses interpersonal skills to help and comfort other people" is one of Tim's highest values and arguably the highest value - he imprinted on Dick because he was kind, and then imprinted on Batman because he was comforting Dick. And he has six million After-School-Special-style plotlines where he tries to comfort / advise / rescue / etc. people in various stages of emotional distress and who are using bad coping mechanisms. His very first outing as Robin involves talking down a semi-suicidal shooter; the big finale of YJ has Tim talking Secret down from her rampage; he's very gentle when he's comforting his girlfriend after she confides in him about a maybe-attempted-rape; he talks down a suicidal college student in Robin; plus there's the entire concept of "Batman needs Robin" in the first place; not to mention his obsession with the importance of friends; and so forth.

So it's something that he's good at because it's something he values and works at. His people skills are conscious and learned. He does a fair bit of amateur psychoanalysis of other people's problems, and he's generally good at identifying the problems, even if he's not always great at fixing them. And he's often playing a role, or imitating other people, rather than being himself; he invests a lot of time constructing alternate identities; he's often more comfortable wearing a mask. (It is just so typical of Tim that his civilian friendship group is the DCU version of D&D players.)

So his practiced-people-skills work decently well, because he's diligent and he cares a lot, and he's better at people when he's older than when he's younger. And he's extremely good at things he's had a lot of practice with, like meeting new schoolmates, or making small talk, and he's friendly and he likes people, and he's good at learning scripts and following them, and he only tends to misstep when he's distracted or unusually anxious or when he's in a situation where normal social norms don't help. (Of course, since he's a vigilante and not an ordinary person, distracted / unusually anxious / weird situation are all things that happen more often than you might think!)

I also think Tim has a few caretaker instincts that have become automatic - generally he's hyperaware of when people are upset and usually tries to reach out or fix it, and even when he's trying to keep himself at a distance he'll slide into caretaking sometimes - so e.g. there's that moment in Batgirl with Cass when Tim's kinda upset with her for siding with Batman (and distancing himself from other people in general), so he's not intending to get close to her, but also what we see him doing is treating her wounds and then getting her tea. And meanwhile Cass actually wants to reach out, and she's intensely observing him and worrying and wanting to help, but what she actually does is... drink the tea. That Tim got her. While she stays firmly on her side of the couch.

(I tend to think of Cass as slightly similar to Tim but at the very very very beginning of her learn-to-people journey here? Like Tim, she cares!! A lot!! And she's successfully understood that Tim's upset, and she knows when she's put her foot in her mouth. But she's not sure what to do yet.)

Weaknesses:

Tactless! This is a tricky word because I think people sometimes hear 'tactless' and misunderstand it as 'generically rude,' but that's not quite the issue - Tim's quite polite most of the time; his problem is that his default mental monologue is very detached / psychoanalyzing / analytical, including about himself and things he's emotional about. He'll often be analyzing his own emotions even in the process of having them (I also talk about this a little here, though it's mostly a post about Dick and anger), and Tim's also constantly analyzing other people.

This means that if he doesn't edit his brain-to-mouth filter, he can come off as too detached or professional or calculating.

This is obviously similar to Dick's problem of coming off as too detached / professional - again, they're both Bats - but it's not quite the same thing, and I think this distinction is most obvious if you look at the places where they're doing it on purpose and picking fights:

Dick's most likely to pick fights by pulling rank: "I'm the boss, you all fucked up this mission and you better not do it again, shape up or shut up." This is a kind of distancing that's about Dick-the-impassive-boss and you-the-subordinate.

By contrast, Tim's more likely to pick fights via hostile psychoanalysis: "I notice you're being snide about Cass again, but we both know you're actually just mad that Bruce cares about her more than he cares about you." When he's miffed, both his inner monologue and the things he says tend toward 'uncharitable analysis of your emotional weaknesses,' and this is something he periodically directs at Bruce / Jason / Damian. This is a kind of distancing that's about Tim-the-hostile-analyst and you-the-unfortunate-target-of-analysis.

(Caveats: I don't think Tim's above trying to pull rank if he can, but he rarely has the opportunity; Dick's not above jabs at other people's weaknesses when he's very defensive and feeling attacked - junkie, elevator - but IMO he's more likely to pull rank, whereas Tim's jabs are more likely to be wrapped up in insulting psychoanalysis, so e.g. Jason's insecurity is his problem. The Jan Brady of the Batfamily.)

You can see related similar-sounding-but-different issues if you look at some of their respective breakups. So e.g. Dick has a breakup with Babs in which she thinks he doesn't care about her, and Tim has a breakup with Cassie in which she thinks he doesn't care about her. And these breakups are different for six million reasons (among other things, Dick and Babs have a pretty intense romance, whereas, uh, Tim and Cassie have had one date and IMO she's very right that they're better off as friends).

But you also get some useful character notes:

Babs is wrongly anxious that Dick's mostly in love with nostalgia for their past rather than the person she is now (he 100% does love the person she is now!) and she's being unfairly bitchy about Catalina, but she's also correctly noted that he's gotten into the habit of deprioritizing their relationship in favor of vigilante busywork & that he's been a bit pushy in swooping in protectively rather than letting her fight her own battles, so when she's accusing him of being a control freak it's not completely coming from thin air; Dick responds by getting hurt, upset, and direct (he gets furious and punches something, but then makes a big sweet sincere emotional speech to her about how much he cares and values her, albeit one that's so caught up in his own emotions like wanting to "protect" her that he's not slowing down enough to take in her insecurities).

Cassie has correctly realized that dating Tim is a bad coping mechanism and she really needs to just deal with her grief over Conner; when she starts crying, at first Tim moves to comfort her, but when she actually clarifies the breakup, an upset Tim responds by aggressively de-emotionalizing the conversation and pretending he's being totally logical and not emotional about it - he first wonders aloud if he's a bad detective for not seeing it coming and then attempts a bonkers guilt-trip suggestion that it's their duty to date in order to uhhh avoid turning evil in the bad future (sdfsfdsfdsfds sure tim nice try)

This isn't because Tim literally doesn't have feelings, because of course he does! But often, the more upset he is, the worse he gets at clearly expressing those feelings, and the more he intellectualizes them or avoids discussing them.

(Caveat: The trouble with any distinction is that it's easy to exaggerate it in ways that are oversimplified, and I want to emphasize that this doesn't reduce to "Dick always expresses emotions, Tim is never emotional," or anything like that. Dick has a bunch of complicated feelings about the intensity of his emotions because he values control and detachment and often is trying to be more detached (I talk more about this in the context of anger here and here); Tim often retreats to faux-analytical detachment when he's actually very emotional; and these are tendencies rather than one-note 24/7 truths - Dick is completely capable of intellectualizing away his emotions; Tim is completely capable of just getting straightforwardly and directly upset. But if you're looking for broad distinctions, I think it's fair to say that Dick's usually better at directly using his words and expressing his emotions, even if he sometimes feels self-conscious shame about it later, whereas Tim tends to self-sabotage and deflect and hide by producing intellectualized faux-logic instead of just being direct about what he wants or what he's feeling.)

An unrelated issue is that Tim also tends to get intrusive when he's anxious, and it gets worse the more he cares about you. Tim really really really wants to know what's going on and has an intense Need To Help, which generally works out for him - this is the entire reason he pushes his way into the Batfamily! - but it's easy to imagine Tim running into people who might not appreciate his busybody sneakiness; so e.g. secretly stalking your friend because he has a bruise, or running your friend's DNA, etc., is... stuff that all comes from how much Tim cares, but also it involves a very fuzzy relationship with other people's privacy, so Tim's friendships that stick around tend to be with people who find this kind of intense observation to be caring rather than pushy. Relatedly, Tim's version of "be protective" can overlap with "be condescending," which means he tends to get along best with confident people like Bruce, who could punt him into a wall and who thus finds Tim's 'disapproving medic' shtick endearing instead of insulting.

Tim also struggles to connect to people for whom he doesn't have an obvious "script" or who don't respond to his usual scripts. So e.g. offering Gar a "you don't like me but let's be friends" handshake worked; offering Cass a "let's be friends" handshake worked; offering the same thing to Damian did not go over so well; and I think this kind of "it usually works so this is my habit now?" thing is very Tim, and I don't think it's the sort of mistake that Dick would make.

More broadly, because Tim's people skills are conscious and learned - the effort sometimes shows! He stares at people. He secretly spies on them. He pokes around in their secrets. Dick can be paying close attention to you and seem like he's not, so that his awareness seems effortless and less intrusive. I think Tim's awareness tends to be a bit more effortful.

That said, though, I don't think that Tim's intensely-observing-you shtick is necessarily obvious except to people who are fairly socially-skilled themselves. When I write fanfic, I generally write from Dick's POV, and I tend to write Dick being hyperaware of when, say, Tim's observing him, or trying to figure out what's going on with him. But I think of that as more "Dick's good at reading Tim and really aware of being watched, so every attempt at subtlety stands out in neon lighting," and I think to someone who's less good at reading people than Dick is, Tim is a lot subtler.

And I think for e.g. someone like Cass, who really struggles with people skills, Tim seems impossibly and naturally good at interactions in the same way that to Tim, Dick seems incredibly good at it.

[sunnyflix]

REALITY SHOW | KMG

❝ relax, baby...the cameras can't film here, we're safe, we can do whatever we want. ❞

PAIRING » kim mingyu × fem!reader

GENRE » smut, fluff, strangers to lovers au

WORD COUNT » 2,5k

SUNNY NOTE » yayyy my first one here! hope you guys enjoy this one 🫶🏻

"I'M NOT SIGNING UP"

You said louder than expected while trying to be reasonable to your friend.

"Honey, why are you screaming? All I just did was tell you to sign up to this reality show, nothing else...Jesus" Your friend Seungkwan said. 

You sighed "I don't know, Kwanie. It's too much exposure... I'll be filmed for 24 hours, seven days a week. It's too much for me."

"Y/N, think with me" he said. "You'll be in a house with a lot of people, you don't know who they are, so just be yourself and try to catch a good one for you."

You started to think. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Nobody will know you there. You're safe. 

But just the fact the program will be aired on national television, and your mom will probably watch the show, bring you chills all over your body.

You just have to try, right?

-

Wrong.

When Seungkwan came home with the papers from the program, including all the rules and special items for the participants, your body froze.

If they don't like you? If you ended up being a side-partner for someone? This was such a bad idea.

"Are you even listening to me, girl?" Seungkwan said with a hurt face. 

"Sorry, I'm immersed in my thoughts." 

"However they are, just forget them and focus on this." he pointed to the paper. "There will be 16 participants, that means will be formed 8 couples. You obviously will be with someone...plus, you're hot. You pull anyone you want." He said.

"Don't try to put me up, this is a dating show, not a university." You said, pointing to the papers, sighing after. "Should I, Kwanie?"

"If you were me, I would be signing them and already be on the set, trust me."

You felt anxious. That would be a good idea, right? Seungkwan is a good friend, he wouldn't put you in a bad situation.

"Give me the papers. Where do I sign?"

- 

For the first time, you're sitting at the meeting table. The crew from the reality show called you for a meeting before the show starts, apparently they did this with everyone individually.

You're sitting right before the director. He was wearing glasses that were so big that you could see at such a long distance.

"So, your name is Y/N L/N, right?" You nodded. "We saw your profile...why did you decide to participate in the show?"

What should you say?

"Aham..." You cleared your throat. "...my friend signed me up. I don't know much about these programs, but I'll do my best." 

"What kind of person you are? I mean, you should have a captivating personality to show to the public." The director said while writing something on the paper in front of him.

You described yourself, trying to be the more truthful you can be. 

"I see...look, not to offend you or anything but, I'll just put you on the show because you're pretty. You don't have the type of personality we want."

"Oh...ahm, okay, no problem." You said, trying to not be offended by the words. "So, when will everything start?"

-

"They gave me this kit and filmed an introduction video." 

"That's why you came looking like a whole different person?" Seungkwan said while examining you. "Even your hair, dude." 

"I know right? They even gave me an introduction book to study and then tell the other participants." You said whipping off your makeup. "This is such a mess, Kwanie."

"Calm down, sweetie. Everything is going to be alright once you get there. By the way, when are you going to start?" 

"Tomorrow afternoon. They will send a van to pick me up." You finished. "So, if you excuse me, I will pack up my things."

While packing up your stuff, you saw Seungkwan looking at you, with a confused expression on his face.

"Y/Nie, I was thinking..."

"Here we go..."

"Don't do this!" He said after your interrupting. "Back to what I was saying. If you find a boyfriend on that show, you must give me a gift after you get out of that place. Don't you think?"

"Really, Kwanie?"

"Yes, look...I was the one who encouraged you to do this shit, so if you find someone to fuck, you have to treat me." 

"Seungkwan, stop."

"I'm serious..."

"I know you're. But still"

"But we have a deal, right?"

You looked at his face and gave a little smile.

"Okay, boo. But nothing too expensive."

-

You were amazed. The place was so huge that you could literally take a marathon there. 

You took your stuff and put it all on a cart, where you could walk with. Walking into the place, you saw a lot of places that you probably wouldn't ever use, even a jacuzzi in every room in there. That was crazy.

"Hello, may i help you?" 

"Oh, hi." You looked at the girl in front of you. "Yes, actually. Do you know where room 526 is?"

"Room 526? I'm staying there too. C'mon, I'll take you there. By the way, I'm Hyejin."

"Y/N"

Hyejin took you to the room, signaling which bed you would take and where to put your stuff.

"How did you know about the show?" Hyejin asked after you to come back to the entrance of the place. 

"My friend signed up my name for me. I didn't find it out of nowhere, y'know?" You saw her nod "And you?"

"I'm trying to find a boyfriend, so I think it would be cool to try something different." 

After the little conversation, the crew of the show started to gather together. Filming would begin. They took you to a place where you would do your makeup, hair and put on a different clothe. 

As soon as you did, you were taken to a place that was calm. The director said that you would come from a different place, actually, everyone would come from a different place.

"And ACTION!"

You started walking to the place where was all the people gathered. Sawing a lot a people you didn't know, just Hyejin was a known face for you.

"Hey, my name is Y/N. I have 24 years old, and I'm just trying to find someone good here." You said as the script they gave you.

You saw everyone introducing themselves. But that was someone who caught your attention.

His name was Mingyu. The long hair, canines standing out and the height that above anyone there was a little bit of his characteristics. You're a bit taken back by his visuals, how can someone look that good?

Maybe that show would be interesting...

-

It was about midnight. You were down on your bed, trying to catch sleep. But that didn't work, so you decided to take a walk around the place, only to find Mingyu sitting at the beach across your room.

"Hi...Mingyu, right?"

"Yes." Oh my god, his voice... " And you are Y/N, I'm right?"

"Yes, you're. Aham, what are you doing here?" You asked sitting next to him on the sand.

"I was trying to find my sleep...but that didn't work." Mingyu chuckled. "And you?"

"Same, actually."

Silence. Just the waves cracking on the beach were being listened to.

"It's kinda hard, right?" Mingyu broke the silence.

"What?"

"Even when we are here, there are cameras pointing at us and our mics are working perfectly well. It's kinda annoying."

You were trying to stay on the script. So you said the worst lie ever.

"I kinda like it, tho. It seems pretty cool."

"Really? Your mouth says something while your face says otherwise." Oh fuck, he was smarter than you thought.

"See..." You tamped your mic, whispering the next words. "They gave me a script, I must follow it, right?"

Mingyu chuckled again, looking at you right after.

"When you're with me, fuck that script. Be yourself."

"Okay...and why?" You asked genuinely.

"Because I want to know the real you." Mingyu stayed looking at you, but right after, he stood up and started to walk away. "Bye, Y/N."

"Wait, Mingyu!" You screamed his name. But nothing happened, he still walked away.

Mingyu wants to know the real you?

-

The first two weeks passed away. You're a lot closer to everyone, including him, Mingyu.

You guys were inseparable. Everything one of the two of you did, the other one followed. It was always like this.

But then, you started to feel something more for him. His smile was starting to make things to your heart. But he was nothing beyond. It was noticeable that Mingyu felt something for you too. Tight hugs, kisses on the forehead, arms linked...he fell for you.

"You know...tomorrow is the day to choose who goes to heaven with you." You said to him.

Heaven. The place everyone wants to be. It was an especial place for the couple to be closer. There they would use the same room, the same closet. Almost like a marriage life.

"And?" Mingyu answered.

"Do you know who are you gonna chose?"

Mingyu chuckled. "Baby, don't fuck with me...you already know who I will choose. There's no mystery in this." He began to caress your hair, running his hand through your strands.

"I don't know...maybe you will choose Hyejin." You said looking away. 

"Hyejin?? She is a friend to me...plus, she is in love with that guy from the beach tennis, remember?"

Oh... Seungcheol.

"Yes, I do."

"So don't be worried...you will always be my first option."

-

Heaven.

When Mingyu choose you over another two beautiful girls, you were not surprised, but you still couldn't believe that he has fallen for you

Right now, you were on you new room, trying to put all of your clothes on your space in the closet. It was already midnight.

"Need help?" Your heard Mingyu.

"Not really, just trying to fit all of this in here." You said. "And you, what are you planning to do?"

Mingyu was dressed in shorts and a tank top. A literal sin infront of you.

"I was planning to go in the water...you know, I never used the jacuzzi from my another room, maybe this one could be better."

After saying this, Mingyu took off his tank top and put it on the bed, heading towards the jacuzzi, where he took a dip.

"You don't wanna come?" Mingyu called for you.

"Mingyu, it's already midnight. You'll catch a cold."

"C'mon, baby. Once you are in, you will love, I promise."

You gave up. You put on a bikini and went to the jacuzzi, not forgetting to take the smaller camera to capture the moment for the crew to use later in the program.

"It's cold here." You said entering the jacuzzi, that the water was hot. "But the water is good."

" I know right?" Mingyu said, right before looking at your body up and down. "You look pretty in red."

"Thanks, Mingyu." You said giving him a pat on his shoulder.

A few minutes passed. You talked for a long time, but something Mingyu said may have changed the direction of the conversation.

"You know... you're too far away from me."

"Really? You think that?" You said picking up the camera and passing it to Gyu, who placed it on the jacuzzi's corner.

"Uhum...I think you should come closer."

So you came. You placed yourself right before him, having a jump scare when he placed his hand on your waist and putted you on his lap. Chest by chest.

"Mingyu..."

"This is way better, right?" He said, caressing your sides.

"Yes, but...the cameras."

"Relax, baby...the cameras can't film here, we're safe, we can do whatever we want." He said, turning off the smaller camera.

After that, Mingyu attacked your lips, like a fierce animal. His mouth was like heaven. You placed your arms around his neck, giving you the balance you need to not fall from his lap. Mingyu held your hips, starting to move you back and forth, like a sequence.

"Just don't make too much noise here, they might find out our little fun." Mingyu said, moving his hand to your center. "Can I?"

You nodded. Yes, you wanted everything from him.

Mingyu started with little movements, just teasing your clit. But after them, he penetrated two fingers at once in your pussy, making you whine a little bit, trying to not moan too loud.

"My pretty girl is doing so good for me. Taking me so well...if you're squeezing my fingers like that, I can't wait to feel you around me."

"Mingyu, please..."

"Please what baby?"

"Please...put it inside of me."

"As you want..."

Mingyu took off his shorts, just to find out he was only with them his whole time. But now, that didn't matter, you need to have him.

You stood up a little bit, taking your bikini panties aside, he positioned his member in the right path to your entrance, letting him penetrate every second, until you sat down completely.

"Fuck!" Mingyu exclaimed. "You're so tight, baby. Might come in seconds."

You started bouncing on his lap, forgot about everything at your side. The water from the jacuzzi was falling through the bordes, wetting the entire camera that was in the corner. Mingyu wasn't different from you, his whines were so pretty, giving you so much gas for continue.

But, out of nowhere, he picked you up and put you at the border. He took off your panties, almost desperate.

"I need you to come in my tongue." And then, he started to eat you out like crazy.

The sounds he was making were almost pornographic, he was diving too much into you. He got smeared from nose to chin, not caring about the mess he was doing.

Your hand, that was before at your side, now they were being picked up by Mingyu and placed in his hair.

"Pull my hair, discount your pleasure." You made it. Mingyu started moaning in between your legs, one of his hands inside the water, pleasuring himself in the middle of eating you out. "Such a delicious pussy, baby. Made for me, right?" You nodded.

After a few more licks, you came on his tongue, having him suck all of your juice.

"So sweet." He gave you a peck right after, making you taste a little bit of yourself. "How about a shower now?"

"The cameras, Gyu..."

"Shit...you first, baby."

-

The morning has come, Mingyu was right behind you on the bed, brushing your hair to put it all together.

"Wish I had this view everyday in my life." He said, putting the brush down.

"But you can..."

"Yeah?" You nodded. "How can, baby?"

"Let's just get out of here and I'll tell you" You said, hearing Mingyu chuckle right after.

The day passed by. You and Mingyu were like love birds, nothing could separate you two. Now, you're once again in bed.

Mingyu were caressing your hair while you're on his chest.

"I think we should just give up from the show and get to live our lives in peace. What do you think?" He said.

"That's not a bad idea."

-

"Kwanie, this is..."

"I know, I know...you're the one, right?" Seungkwan said to Mingyu.

"Probably?"

Seungkwan nodded, turning to you right after.

"You have to treat me a whole Korean barbecue, I gave you the chance to meet this greek god and...AH!" You interrupted Seungkwan by holding his arm.

"Baby, what are you doing?" Mingyu asked.

"How about Korean barbecue for dinner, hum?"

[vrisrezis]

My fav Bnha characters with a crush teehee

Have probs done this b4 butttt lol these look rlly long ngl

Katsuki is kinda disgusted with himself. He hates all that lovey dovey bullshit and he always told himself he wouldn’t end up falling in love like the shitty old hag, but here he is being a lovesick moron. Katsuki is not known for being subtle, you’d have to be a special kind of moron to not notice he’s totally head over heels. Even if he wouldn’t describe it in those words, he totally is. He has very complicated feelings about the fact he likes you, wanting to focus on his hero training but you make it so difficult for him with your stupid smile that he loves hates so much. However he’s aware of how happy you make him feel, so he’s willing to set it aside, it must be a good thing you make him feel so good, right? It’s strange, but he will find himself showing off more when your around, trying to prove to you specifically he’s gonna be the best hero. In training he works extra hard if you happen to be around or happen to even be watching, he may even start competitions with class 1A just to prove himself to you. Whether it’s dumb competitions like racing in the pool or even school related competitions such as, who’s got the best grades, this nerd absolutely shows off around you. He wants you to think he’s cool, that he will one day be the best. But he also tries to leave subtle … hints he likes you. Even though it’s obvious already, he’s been given the impression that he isn’t totally obvious. He shows his interest in you in other ways, but I will mention he has an extreme jealousy problem even before you are even dating. This is typically of people that are “stronger” than him, so todoroki and deku. However he might get that jealousy if say, kaminari flirted with you. Other ways of actually showing interest though is that he’s actually nice to you, though he shows it in ways that can go unnoticed. If your forgetful he always makes sure he has an extra water bottle with him, or anything else you may need he just says he happens to have. Or perhaps you need help studying or even with homework, he just says kirishima happened to pick a different study buddy that day, so you and him can study together. And kirishima, as the ultimate wingman, insists you two should study more often… alone… and the main thing that gives him away! Blushing! Oh man, if he isn’t the most obvious guy in the universe because of that red face! He can blame it on the cold, he can blame it on how hot it is out, he can blame it on his quirk, or that he’s angry, he is always red faced when you’re too close. If you’ve ever seen amity blight blush, it’s exactly like that. He stares at you in class with this soft expression that is almost never seen on his face, and if he is to ever be caught he simply turns away as fast as possible, wide eyed and blushing. You’ll find that bakugou believes in your strength, so he’s protective in battle a reasonable amount, only if you’re truly in deep shit. When he’s more comfortable with being your friend, he takes you out on hiking trips and just hanging out with you, and sometimes kirishima. The entire class of 1A knows about his little crush though so it makes it extremely hard for him to keep it a secret lol, he’s constantly paranoid somebody told you.

Oh man if you thought katsuki was bad, izuku is on another level of being obvious with his feelings. The boy truly wears his heart on his sleeve. It’s not even something he’s aware of at first, he just thinks your good looking like … wow way more attractive than anyone he’s ever met! You’re a good friend, with an interesting quirk and yes his notes on you are a lot longer than even kacchans and maybe he draws you a lot, maybe he draws moments where you looked really breathtaking and maybe he thinks about you before he goes to bed and when he wakes up in the morning and yes maybe he dreams about you too and overthinks everything you say to him and maybe he rambles about you an unreasonable amount to his friends but… oh man he… he likes you doesn’t he? And once he realizes, it gets even worse because now he’s just blushing at you and he looks like he’s gonna pass out everytime ochako mentions the fact he hasn’t confessed yet and he’s just dying on the spot. Boy talks faster than Eminem can rap whenever she mentions him having a crush especially if you happen to be there for the conversation. Tends to ramble around you a lot, just about random things and everyone is just like “oh god not this again” you have to be oblivious to not notice. Izuku tends to worry about you a lot, so he always checks up on you after training to make sure you didn’t get too hurt, and don’t even get him started when it comes to you going on missions, he worries so much when you’re fighting villains. Now he knows how his mother feels. Izuku tends to be clingy around his crush, so he tends to ask you to hang out quite often, whether it’s hanging out or even studying or even fighting together against some villain he likes being around you and likes making sure that you’re safe when it comes down to it. He tends to have very obvious slip ups that he likes you, voice cracks then correcting himself or perhaps coughing way too loudly when he tries to do an ahem cough, bumping into you and tripping, he’s so clumsy around you. Probably accidentally calls you pretty. He’s just… such a mess man.

Hawks is not experienced with romance, while many can agree he’s a good looking guy that has many people flocking towards him, he was never that interested in dating until you showed around. Honestly, could’ve seen him being aromantic before meeting you, lol. So since he’s never experienced romantic feelings, it’s going to take him a little longer than it should to realize his feelings. However he does show signs of taking a special liking to you beforehand, that even he doesn’t understand at the time. He hates the idea of people looking at you the wrong way, perhaps to court you. He assumes this is because he senses they’re potentially dangerous and as a good friend of yours, he’s just looking out for you. After all, he’s naturally protective of you in battles with villains, even if you can protect yourself. Sure he’s not protective especially of endeavor or miruko, but that’s just because he’s not as close with them as he is with you! He doesn’t feel his heart beat faster around his other friends, but he assumes it must be something else, maybe there’s something making him nervous, or maybe he’s just simply excited to be around you! Sure he doesn’t blush around anyone else when they compliment him, but that’s because it means a lot knowing a close friend thinks about him in such a way! For awhile, keigo comes up with many reasons to justify his feelings towards you until miruko and endeavor make him realize he’s being a total moron right now. Upon realizing his feelings, he’s not completely sure how to go about it, but he starts by trying to make it known he likes you. He’s subtle with his flirts, but once he puts his toes in the water to see if your comfortable with him flirting, he dips his whole foot in. At that point, people just think you two are dating with how casual he is with his newfound flirtatious personality when you enter the picture. Upon realizing his feelings he becomes 10x more protective and kinda already acts like a boyfriend by bringing you lunch to work and taking you to cafes and literal dates and stupid shit like that, lmao.

Aizawa I imagine having very few crushes in his lifetime, and has dates with even less people than that. Because of this inexperience even in his age, he’s not quite sure how to go about his feelings initially. Mic and midnight are extremely annoying about how obvious he is, as well. Aizawa is extremely protective of you, given his experience with his students, it’s only natural he grows protective of you and worries for your safety. Whether you’re a hero or not, he’s going to worry for you. Other than that, the way he shows he cares for you is different with you than it is with his friends. He’s good at listening to you and remembers very small things about you that maybe he wouldn’t remember with other people, he remembers very small details. Perhaps something as small as your favorite coffee even if you don’t like coffee that much. I imagine him fearing if his students ever found out he liked you, what kinda hell that would be. Dealing with them teasing him and potentially telling you, but he truly can’t help but be obvious at times. He stares at you longer than he should, even smiles at you longingly when he thinks you aren’t looking. He looks like a lovesick kitty. Generally reserved in his attraction to you, keeping to himself and hoping he can find some hints you return the feelings before initiating anything. However, he’s always been relatively stupid with romance so this takes awhile for him to even figure out and he has a habit of overthinking everything you say to him and is often left wondering what your intentions truly are with him. When you two spend time together, he likes doing things with you he’d never do with anyone else. Likes you playing and doing his hair, and watching movies and such, your hangouts often feel like dates even when you aren’t dating. So when the time does come you two date, it feels as though nothing has changed. He with trust you whole heartedly, if you aren’t a teacher at UA he is introducing his students to you, his co workers, and especially Eri, all the people who are important in his life but does it in such a way that feels casual and natural. He has a way of not making his crush known if your oblivious enough. However, a part of him that feels like he shouldn’t tell you how he feels come from a place of worrying for your safety and the people that may come after you. He will learn to trust you and your strength, he’s just a worried dad.

Miruko is a bold and brave lady, however even she’s never had much experience with love. Being way too determined to become a hero, it hasn’t given her much time to really experience romance aside from hookups. She decided it was a waste of time, but as one of the top heroes, she understands she can have both things in her life. If she cares to, anyway. And upon meeting you had come to the conclusion she would love to have both things. Miruko is a very confident woman so you will find she wastes no time in approaching you with her feelings. This is, when she realizes them. Due to her being new to it, it takes her a bit to realize it. But after a couple months of knowing you she figure it out. The way she feels compelled to buy you stuff despite not knowing you for that long, the need to protect you from danger even when you can protect yourself just fine, the strange need to wrap her strong arms around you, it all connects to her eventually. Upon realizing the feelings she’s gained she is very flirtatious and makes her intentions with you very clear. She doesn’t like wasting time. You will find though that despite how bold she is, if you flirt back she gets a little shy sometimes. This is a rare occurrence, but it happens! She can be a softie too yknow? She is physically affectionate with you, casually wrapping an arm around your shoulder when you two are talking, whispering in your ear a lot and getting close and personal when she really doesn’t have to. She loves inviting you over to hang with her for games and such, it already feels like you two are a couple even when you aren’t. It’s only a matter of time before she officially asks you out. You may find that during your hangouts she tries to impress you with her strength and tends to brags about her accomplishments. You’ll also find she dresses nicer and even wears makeup occasionally. Her flirtations with you are different than with her hookups too, compliments on how cute you are rather than how hot you are. She wants you to know you mean something to her as well, so on occasion she tells you that you mean the world to her.

Dabi has not experienced romance, ever. Hookups aren’t in his life either. Dabi had been set on one thing and one thing only, revenge. You’d have to be a real special one for him to be attracted to you, but no matter how special you are it will not deter him from his original plan. He didn’t plan on pursuing you in anyway, but he’s selfish at heart and can’t help himself. He may not try to pursue you romantically but he will try his absolute hardest to form a strong bond between you two. It may take awhile to be vulnerable with you but it will absolutely happen while you two are friends, he will be extremely open with you. He’s open about being touya early in your friendship to show he trusts you whole heartedly, to show he thinks you’re like nobody else he’s met. He would know his feelings, despite the complete lack of experience in dating. He just knows. He looks at you and thinks, you’re the one for him. Out of everyone on this list, he’s one of the more protective ones. I’d say the most if it wasn’t for toga, tbh. You will find he’s around you a lot, like just because he’s so protective but also because he likes to be around you. He cares for you and likes your company. You remind him of the good parts of home, you bring back his humanity. Dabi makes no moves on you, despite how strong his feelings are for you and how aware he is of his feelings. He’s scared to form a relationship, in fear it will go to shit and knowing he’d hurt you, knowing his plan of revenge will end in his death. He’d never want to put you through that. He spends much of his time hanging out with you and it feels like the two of you have been best friends forever. He tends to joke with you and be sarcastic, but always being one that’s there for you when you need it and even give you advice. He’s a true friend but he’s scared to be something more.

Toga is truly the most obsessive and protective, the closest you get to a yandere. She grows feelings almost automatically, because she feels as though she sees you for who you are right away. She feels like she’s known you forever, she knows she likes you the more she wants to steal some of your blood and become you. If you’re okay with an overbearing insane girl on your side, she’s the lady for you! She acts like she’s known you forever, even if you’re complete strangers. There is no filter with toga, and she acts like you’re already best friends when you aren’t. And when her romantic feelings become apparent, she makes those feelings very apparent and that she wants something more with you. She tends to get up in your face a lot when talking, with a blush on her cheeks, it’s just because she loves being so close to you! Flirting with you and calling you her darling or her love is a common occurrence, even when you two aren’t even a couple yet. She worries for you a lot and is very protective, and after twices demise this protective nature becomes 10x worse. She’s clingy and constantly cuddling to your side, holding your arm or your hand. She has no shame in you knowing her feelings, she just hopes you will stop being so shy and tell her how you feel too! She will absolutely murder for you too just to add onto her yanderish tendencies, not that I don’t think every villain would do that for you though, lol. Also, the moment you meet her she’s inviting you to the league of villains without a doubt. You’re a part of her little weird family now, no questions asked. You become extremely important to her and how she approaches life from then on. (You could actually help her become a decent person if you were aiming to be a hero. You hold so much power by being the object of her affection, lol).

Shigaraki is determined to destroy the entire world and everyone in it, but even he has feelings. He has feelings towards the league, secretly (or not so secretly) seeing them as his found family. And you, well, in his eyes you are also family but you’re also special to him even in comparison to the league. He isn’t aware of what his feelings towards you are for the longest time, even after the advice kurogiri had given him. He now relies on spinner to give him proper advice, who tells him he feels romantically towards you. Shigaraki is naturally a protective person when it comes to you, not liking anyone getting too close and personal with you, even spinner and toga sometimes. He’s lost a lot and he’s not willing to lose you too especially to some loser that doesn’t deserve you. He’s easily jealous and he’s also easily paranoid you could find somebody else. In his mind, he knows you deserve more than him and the possibility of you ending up with anyone that isn’t him is almost too much to bare. Even if he knows you deserve more, he’s selfish to his core. He likes to play games with you and treats you like a longtime friend, he consistently works on your relationship to make sure he keeps your bond going at all times. He enjoys being close to you and would like to keep it that way and maintaining your relationship. He could talk to you for hours about anything while playing video games with you (Nintendo gamer tingz). As time goes by, he tries to trust you more and grows less protective and obsessive, especially as he becomes much more powerful and much more confident he can protect you if need be. He isn’t bold about his feelings, an occasional shy blush coming from him is the closest you get to him letting his feelings be known. He may eventually approach you, though.

[taintandviolent]

In the end of the night, I can feel your warmth. (Kyle Spencer x Reader)

summary: zombies eat brains... not pussies. WRONG. they actually eat them really well. 2.9K words!

warnings: 18+ below the cut!! smut (female receiveing), heavy heavy cunnilingus, s*xual guiding/coaching, praise (male receiving), carnal instincts, unga bunga brain Frankenkyle because it’s a serious problem I have, uhhhhhhh.

tags: @darlingjimmy @petersevans @kaiju-superstar @redwoodghost @kaismanwich @elsamars @thewolveswithin @marylovesevanpeters @80strashbag @iluwmycats @kai-slut @kaissweetlamb @twinkiemaximoff @evanpetersfansblog @spill-the-t @eventually27 @stucktothetwo @kai-andersons-blog @kai-anderson-whore @evansb1tch @viharmonscorner @yesdevineruler @anonymous0316 @enchanting-evan @fuckedbykai @nova-kayne67

ao3 link here! Full link below the cut!! Thank you to @redwoodghost​ and @kaiju-superstar​ for yet AGAIN beta-reading and sending me to the clouds.

“Mmmph….”

Three days earlier.

After a series of life altering events, you’d finally thrown your hands up and run away from home. The destination? Miss Robichaux’s School for Gifted Young Women, located in the mysterious city of New Orleans. As you rode the bus, one backpack stuffed with clothes and jewellery clutched tightly to your chest like a child, vibrant images of vampires, witches and voodoo danced in your dreams.

You saw yourself as a plain Jane who had been a little too influenced by the occult at a young age. A typical girl who had grown up on Stevie Nicks and tarot cards, you had never considered yourself particularly remarkable, though you’d always had a knack for making things happen a little too easily. Teachers and parents had always described you as an influential young woman — a deceptive umbrella term that hardly scratched the surface. You weren’t writing persuasive essays or excelling in Speech and Debate, you were sticking your fingers into someone’s mind like playdoh and rewiring it to do exactly what you wanted.

It was that deceptive umbrella term that brought you to Louisiana to begin with; you’d felt unheard, unseen, and misunderstood. You were struggling and nobody had the capacity to unravel your problems.

Cordelia, who was easily one of the most beautiful women you’d ever seen, welcomed you into her office. The interview was brief but compassionate. She’d asked you to explain what brought you to her home, what you felt your “powers” were, and reached to touch the top of your hand when you struggled with that word. She lingered, staring deeply at your fingers. After a moment, she inhaled and spoke again.

“Nothing is silly here. You’re safe. Everything you’ve thought was make-believe or… or childish isn’t. The world runs on magic.”

Cordelia had called one of the other girls into her office and given you an encouraging nod. The girl, who couldn’t have been more than sixteen, had jet black hair, and large glasses. She looked deeply frightened and you almost felt bad when you made her crawl on the floor like a crab before standing up and clapping excitedly. It took very little effort for you, Cordelia noted and wrote something on a piece of paper in your file.

Whatever you’d done, you’d done it correctly. Shortly after that, a girl named Zoe showed you to your new room. She was sweet, kind — the sort of woman that you thought would listen to every side of every story before making any judgements. She used to be a student witch here, she explained as you two walked, but she'd risen in the ranks and become so busy with being the Council — something very important, a hierarchy of witches — that she didn’t have time for the things she used to focus on.  

Zoe opened the tall door, letting you step in first. Well-lit by the large and ornately trimmed windows, the room was white, matching the scheme of the rest of the mansion. Sparsely decorated, there were the necessities in terms of furniture and nothing else. There were two beds at opposite sides of the room… and a blonde boy sat cross-legged on the one closest to the door. His expression was blank, but his brows were laced together, conveying some sort of unknown sadness.

“This is Kyle. He…” she trailed off, her voice sounding unsteady. “He died. Madison and I, we… we put him back together and brought him back.”

You snapped your head to face her, jaw hanging slack in disbelief. “Put him back together? Like Frankenstein?”

Zoe nodded, and reached out to stroke his fluffy blonde curls. While he remained stoic, you noticed the tiniest flinch in his cheek muscles. The way she looked at him… you crossed your arms over your chest uncomfortably. There was history here. “He’s not the same. He tries though.”

She straightened out her frown, visibly trying to move on from the memories.

“This used to be my room. But…” She dropped her hand to her side. He flinched more visibly. “It’s yours now.”

Zoe had told you that all Kyle needed was macaroni, kid’s shows on YouTube, and he wouldn’t bother you. For the first night, you conceded with those recommendations because his outbursts overwhelmed you.

On the second night, you woke up to the sound of rustling. Kyle sat upright in his bed, sheets draped over his lap, staring towards the window. You sat up in bed, pulling the sheets up to your chest. He turned to look at you and shrunk away from your gaze, ashamed. He quickly returned to a lying position, like a child who had gotten yelled at. The apprehension you possessed on the first night had morphed into wonderment. A reanimated boy, who despite being pieced together still had some semblance of sentience and emotion. It may have been cliche to analyze it through a Shelley-esque eye… but with sentience, came love. And with love, agony was sure to follow. You’d always been particularly enraptured with the idea of a monster needing love, trying desperately to understand it.

A line from Frankenstein came to mind as you watched him staring straight up at the ceiling, hoping you wouldn’t notice he wasn’t asleep. “I have a love in me the likes of which can scarcely imagine and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I cannot satisfy the one, I will indulge the other.”

So… what if you satisfied the first? Perhaps all he needed was some tenderness, some attentiveness.  

“Kyle?”

No response. You swung your legs out from underneath the covers, planting your bare feet on the wooden floors. In only your nightgown, the chill of the air bit at your exposed limbs, prompting you to slip your arms into the lacy, green sleeves of your robe.

“Kyle? You wanna look at the moon?”

This time, he turned his head on the pillow to look at you. You began moving carefully towards him.

“You want to? The moon?” You asked again, making a circle shape with your hands and then unrolling them to point towards the window. He nodded, showing understanding. Clumsily, he threw the covers off him and got to his feet.

You took one step. He followed, ambling heavily behind you until you both stood close enough to the window to feel the chill that permeated the glass. He sighed heavily, the sound resonating in his broad chest. It was the first time you’d heard any sort of happy sound from him. His knuckles brushed against yours, but despite the quivering in your abdomen, you didn’t reach out to hold his hand. You wanted to, though. Very, very much.

On the third night, you woke up to the sounds.

“Mmmmmph! Mmm…arrr…. Mmmm…. ow.”

You rubbed your eyes, rousing yourself. Instead of being in his own bed, like he usually was, Kyle sat at the foot of yours, his legs pulled to his chest. “What? What’s wrong?”

He grunted again, scooting closer to you on the bed. Although the room was dark, the small night light in the corner illuminated just enough of his face to show the pained expression, the stress in his dark eyes.

“Kyle? What’s the matter? Try…” You whispered. “Are you hurt?”

He nodded. Then shook his head. “Hmmmph… I’m……”

“You’re what? What is it?”

He struggled to speak, but what did come out sounded distinctly like your own name.

Kyle’s head dropped heavily to his chest, shamefully looking down at his erection as it tented his boxers. He lifted his eyes, staring at you from underneath his heavy brow and fluffy locks. Both hands clenched into fists, he pressed down into his groin, moaning.

Oh…. Oh fuck, you thought. Oh my fucking god, he’s got a boner.

“It’s okay,” you reassured. “That’s nothing to be ashamed of… it’s normal. O-kay.”

Poor thing. He doesn’t know what to do…. He’s asking for help. He looked into your eyes with the most soulful, desperate pleading you’d ever seen. No man, even more together than him, had ever asked you for help like this. There was something underneath, another stain on his heart. You could feel it when your eyes locked for a second too long — but that wasn’t important. It didn’t change what you were about to do.

You fingered the ruched elastic of his boxers, scooping it towards you. The taut skin of his stomach was warm, and the heat increased as you neared the bush of hair. Kyle groaned and cloddishly bucked his hips to force your hand farther down. The searing hot tip slipped against the back of your hand, leaving a streak of precum on your skin.

“P……l…eaaasse…..” His chest was heaving up and down, forcing excited little breaths out of his open mouth.

You swallowed the lump in your throat and gripped his cock gently. It twitched against your hand and you felt another hot, viscid ribbon coat your knuckles. Oh fuck. He jerked his hips again as you began stroking, smearing his wetness along the shaft. He slackened the muscles in his neck, letting his head fall onto your shoulder.

“Good? Does that feel better?”

His head moved on you, up and down, so you assumed it did. You decided to test it by going a little faster, and squeezing his cock a little harder. Instead of the guttural, almost pained groans  he’d given you before, the most pathetic little whimper left his throat. You lifted your gaze to the ceiling, rolling your eyes back. He was putty in your grip, begging for you with every muscle in his body. And that… drove you insane.

Carefully, quietly… you reached to your legs, gathering the edge of your nightgown into your palm, pulling it up your thigh until you had enough room to reach your own arousal. Wasting no time, you circled your clit slowly, slipping a finger inside between rotations.

“AAAAAGUHHH!”

You clapped your hand over Kyle’s mouth, eyes widening like saucers in the dark. You whispered louder than you ever had in your entire life. “Shhh! Kyle! Shhh!” He breathed hard out his nose. “I can’t help you if you’re loud… they’ll hear you.”

Underneath your fingers, Kyle’s plush lips parted just enough for you to notice. You froze. He looked down as far as his ocular anatomy allowed and his pupils dilated, the blackness consuming the already deep brown. His tongue swept across the underside of your fingers before forcing itself between them. He gripped your hand tightly at the wrist and yanked it down in a startling display of his inhuman strength.

“Wuh…. Want.”

You jerked your head back, confused. “What?”

He brought your hand back up, and like a child claiming that a toy was his, Kyle licked your pointer and index finger from the base to the tip of them. He swallowed.

“Waant….”

Holy shit. You realised. You realised what it was he wanted…. The hand you’d used to cover his mouth was that hand that you’d previously been fingering yourself with, the fingers that were coated in your own wetness. He wanted… that.

Nervously, you pulled your hand from his boxers, the elastic snapping against his tummy. You nodded once and inhaled a deep breath through your nose, a feeble attempt at pacifying the bundle of live wires you called your nerves. Kyle’s eyes never left yours, watching you intently as you planted your hands on either side of your body as leverage to push yourself back towards the head of the bed. You laid back on the pillow, knees touching and obscuring Kyle.

When you opened them, your breath rushed out from your lungs. He was so pretty, the way the moonlight illuminated his curls like an angel’s halo, outlining his broad form. His plaid shirt hung open, teasing at the body beneath. And then, of course, there was the erection. The fabric of his boxers were pulled tight.

You tilted your head down, pressing your chin against your chest. Your eyes were misty, doe-like, and you almost stuck your fingers in his mind to tell him to come to you. But he did it on his own accord and your heart gave an adoring flutter. Coming forward onto his hands, Kyle crawled on the bed to you, and you welcomed him in between your thighs. He lowered himself down onto his stomach.

“Good boy,” you whispered. “You’re so good, Kyle…”

Kyle opened his mouth on your pussy, lapping at it hungrily. The smoothness of his teeth grazed your clit, and the heat of your arousal was unimaginable, burning deep within your core. You’d been eaten out, but not eaten out. Not like this. Zombies ate brains, not pussies.

And yet… you were being devoured within an inch of your life. Every clench brought out more cum, and Kyle was there to drink it up, flicking his tongue from your entrance to your clit repeatedly, until your vision went blurry with twinkling stars. Every time his tongue returned to its starting position, he always lingered and sometimes slipped in, delving into something he wanted more of. He was tasting you over and over again. Your mouth opened, at first giving nothing but the sound of your breath. His lips closed around your clit, his tongue driving up into your entrance, and a high pitched whine clawed its way out of your throat.

And just like that, the pleasure was gone. Kyle pulled away, panicked.

“Bad?!”  

You shook your head quickly, panting. “No, no…. Good. Very good, Kyle.”

His worried expression softened slightly, but he still looked unsure and scared to keep going. The sound you’d made… all he knew told him it was that he’d done something wrong and he’d hurt you.

“B….buh….. bad…… sssssound…..”

“Nonononono. Very… very good. I made that sound because it feels good. You’re doing a good job.”

He huffed out a breath, the warmth of it washing over you. You writhed, the backs of your thighs rubbing against his bare shoulders. Bent at the elbows, Kyle wrapped his forearms around your legs, wide hands twitching ever so slightly as they caressed you. There was something overwhelmingly erotic in the way he fearfully looked up at you from between your legs. You drew your bottom lip in, biting down as hard as you could to stifle the moan that threatened.

“Please,” you whined. “You’re doing so good, Kyle. It feels so good. You like it, right?”

He nodded, dropping his gaze to look at your cunt, a puddle forming on sheets below. His jaw hung slack as he went back in, his lips enveloping you fully. His tongue was hot and you were sensitive, writhing in his grip. You weren’t aware that you were writhing away from him until his fingers came to life, digging deep into the soft flesh of your thighs.

You arched your back as you came on his tongue, taking fistfuls of the sheets and tightening until you felt the fibres squeak against each other. Kyle growled into your cunt, pulling you closer into him. His tongue flattening against you, feeling the pulsating clenches as they happened.

Kyle straightened up to his knees, stiffly pulling his boxers down over the curve of his ass. His stiff cock sprung free, the swollen head, red and leaking. He seemed to know what he wanted to do, but didn’t know where to start. You scooted down, pressing your legs further open. Kyle shuffled forward on the bed, the springs creaking underneath you.

“It’s okay, Kyle… it’s okay.” Keeping your eyes on him, you took hold of his cock again and gently guided it towards your wet slit. “I’ll make you feel better.”

He allowed himself to be guided, following your direction. His squishy tip slipped in, compressed by your tight walls. The sound that Kyle made — something between a choking breath and a groan — was the only warning you got that a switch had flipped. He knew exactly what to do.

Kyle sunk his length into you, taking only a moment to revel in the feeling of your warm, wet insides. He quickly found his rhythm, bucking in and out with steady intention as he watched you with half-lidded eyes, mouth hanging slack. His pelvis slapped against yours, knocking against your clit each time your bodies met. The visual drove you insane, sending streaks of hot arousal right to your core.

“Gggoooooodddd….” He groaned. “G-good.”

He picked up speed, and you desperately tried to maintain coherency, nodding. Your nails dug into his back, holding on as tight as you could. “Guh-HOHm- my god. Good, yes. G-good, baby.”

Kyle’s large hands snaked their way to your shoulders, encasing them in a steely grip. He pulled himself into you, harder and harder until you felt an unfamiliar ache in your insides, where he could go no farther. You came for a second time with a high-pitched whimper and Kyle kept his pace, grunting. Your wetness splashed against your thighs as he thrust into you, and when you lifted your hips up slightly, Kyle’s fingers curled in, clamping down on your shoulders with a crushing strength. You held back your cries of pain, grinding your hips against his as he pumped into you. Just hold on… let him finish….  

Finally, he released his hold on you, collapsing onto your chest with a heavy breath. Once the vigorous movement had subsided, your sweat-soaked bodies were no longer immune to the lithe, chilly fingers of temperature. Still, you were warm underneath him.

So, so warm.

Kyle fell asleep with his cock inside you. And for the first time in three nights, he didn’t wake up once.

[novlr]

How do I make internal conflict subtle, without being so subtle the readers miss it?

Internal conflict is a vital component of any compelling story. It’s the central axis of any good character arc and drives the narrative forward. However, writing internal struggles effectively without resorting to heavy-handed exposition can be challenging. Here are some quick tips on writing subtle internal conflict.

Show, don’t tell

Reveal a character’s emotions through actions, thoughts, and dialogue.

Use body language and gestures to convey inner turmoil, like fidgeting, clenched fists, or avoiding eye contact.

Write sensory details to immerse readers in the character's emotional experience, like describing the taste of bitterness or the prickling of anxiety.

Incorporate changes in a character's routine or habits that hint at inner changes, like a punctual character being late, or changing taste in music.

Use the character's reactions to their environment as a reflection of their emotions. The same setting might appear grey and dark to one, but bright and vibrant to another.

Use subtext

Write subtext into dialogue, where characters say one thing but mean another.

Drop subtle hints at emotions that readers can infer rather than spelling everything out.

Experiment with non-verbal communication like meaningful glances, pauses, or hesitations.

Invoke subtext through characters' internal thoughts and uncertainties, without the character fully acknowledging their deeper feelings.

Use dramatic irony, where the reader knows more than the character does about their own feelings or situation.

Develop complex characters

Give your characters conflicting desires, values, and goals to naturally generate internal conflict.

Create backstories that reveal past traumas or experiences that continue to haunt and influence their decisions.

Consider using character flaws and contradictions to highlight internal struggles.

Use relationships to create conflicting desires and expectations.

Give your characters both internal and external conflicts to build tension between dealing with personal struggles and outside problems.

Employ inner monologues

Incorporate introspective moments where characters wrestle with their inner demons, doubts, and fears.

Use first-person or close third-person perspectives to allow readers direct access to the character's thoughts.

Balance inner monologues with external action to maintain pacing and engagement.

Use an unreliable narrator so readers try to distinguish between what is a misperception and what is the truth.

Create inner thoughts that highlight the difference between a character's public persona and their private world.

Create moral dilemmas

Force characters to make difficult decisions that represent turning points in their arcs.

Explore the consequences of a character’s choices on their sense of self and their relationships.

Have your character confront a personal sacrifice where they must question their own motives and values.

Have a character balance loyalty and personal integrity, having to decide where their personal morality lies.

Force a choice between self-preservation and the greater good where their choice not only has personal stakes, but story-wide ones as well.