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alchemistc · 3 months

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So about that deleted scene:

(shovel) talks - read on ao3

"So how many shovel talks should I be expecting?" Tommy asks, once the cake is mostly gone and Eddie and Christopher have wandered off. He tilts his voice low, so as not to draw the attention of Eddie's aunt, who has been eyeing him closely since he came back without any cake for Evan.

"Shovel what?" Evan's eyeing the cake.

"You could just have a bite," Tommy tempts, letting his grin go a little teasing, waving his fork a bit for emphasis, and Evan sighs. Pats his stomach, which Tommy is intimately familiar with, and very fond of, even if Evan wants to be a bit more cut.

"You're trying to deflect. Who gave you a shovel talk?"

"So far?" There's no reason to keep it going, really, except when Evan gets exasperated he huffs and puffs about it and Tommy - he doesn't not like his little attempts at dramatics.

Evan rolls his whole head in an effort to emphasize how much he's not in the mood, but his smile gives him away. It always does.

"Well, Hen and Karen just accosted me. Christopher's already promised anatomically improbable harm."

Evan, if anything, looks a little chuffed about that. Considering some of the things he's gleaned about his home life growing up, it's not all that strange.

Still, it doesn't hurt to ask. "They do know you're an adult, right?"

"Y-yeah, of course they know. It's - you know, that whole family thing you were so jealous of sometimes includes them being a little overbearing."

"Personally, I think they were just looking for some gossip."

Evan's face goes red. "Uh - that might be - that might be my fault. I'm... usually an over sharer."

"Is there something wrong with what I'm doing that you don't feel like over sharing?" It's a dirty ploy, but he's already over invested in this, in them. He wants to weasel a bit of praise out of Evan, even though he hasn't exactly been shy about it to this point at all.

Evan's face does something - a series of tiny expressions he'd have been hard pressed to catch if he weren't staring so closely - before he kicks at Tommy's foot under the table. "You're teasing me again."

Tommy doesn't hide his grin, even as he shovels his fork around the plate to get the last of the frosting off. "Can you blame me?"

Evan's blush is deep deep pink, but he still bites his tongue, tilts his head, tips his foot so that he can slide his toes around Tommy's ankle. He really, really wasn't kidding when he joked that he was trying his best to keep up.

He taps two knuckles against the table, looking like he's physically restraining himself from reaching for Tommy's hand. "It's - it's not like I don't talk about you. I just - some of it I wanna keep for myself."

Tommy fields fifty questions a day at work about the man who has him smiling to himself randomly, checking his phone and losing track of conversations because something ticks at a newly made memory of Evan Buckley. He understands the urge to keep some of those memories for himself.

"So what have you told them?"

He's picking at the thread, trying to unravel it, and he doesn't know why. He's more than satisfied with the state of things as they are now. Things are... different than he's used to, this early in. He's never been with someone so intent on getting to know him, spending time with him, so ready to share himself. It's intoxicating, really, and Tommy's never had a great handle on when to cut himself off.

Evan's expression is overly fond, and Tommy feels the thrill of it down to his toes.

"I told them about our date at the aquarium," he says, eyes sparkling a little. It had been a spur of the moment thing, Evan texting him for three days straight about hammerhead sharks, Frederickson mentioning his son-in-laws obsession with manta rays and the glass-side dinner they offered Saturday's and Sunday's. Evan's eyes drifting to the creatures in the water only half-as-often as they drifted to Tommy, and the air expanding in Tommy's lungs every time that smile landed on him.

Tommy hums.

"I told them a... very abridged version of you trying to teach me Muay Thai."

Evan, gleaming and wide eyed, pinned beneath Tommy, his hands giving up any pretense of doing anything but bracketing Tommy's hips, the gentling kiss Tommy'd placed to the birthmark over his eye before Evan whined and Tommy decided he was done playing games.

"Well, now Hen thinks I lied to her." Tommy jokes, and Evan's brow jumps quizzically. Tommy can't quite help it. Even with Gerrard here, even with eyes around them, even though they'd both decided together to keep the contact to a minimum, this being a work event and all - he reaches out and taps his finger to Evan's nose just to see his face crinkle in confusion. It'll have to do, with friends and family and colleagues all around them, but he can feel the urge to drag him in, to give Evan a taste of the frosting still on his lips, to press their bodies together and feel Evan's heart beat beneath his. The desire is there, crawling beneath his skin, and Evan watches him lean back in his chair like he knows every spare thought rattling around in Tommy's head.

"I told them you make me stupid happy," Evan says, all bright and sincere, something softening around the edges of his eyes, and the cage around his heart strains under the pressure of the muscle pressing for freedom.

Tommy darts a look around the room. Things are winding down, families with children drifting off early to enjoy having the day off, members of the 118 returning to their duties now that they've been thrown back on the dispatch register, higher ups huddled off in groups whispering to themselves about how they all would have been fired if Chief Simpson wasn't gunning for a promotion. Evan tips forward, chin dropping to the bridge of his hands with a grin.

"What do you tell the Harbor people about me?"

"Oh, absolutely nothing," Tommy says, standing, tilting a hip sideways so that he can hide the thumb the presses to the divot of Evan's chin. "If I did they'd think you'd bewitched me."

Evan's smile curls over his cheeks with the dopey expression Tommy's grown to adore.

"Let's get out of here before we get recruited for cleanup."

Evan looks like he's thinking about staying, anyway, so Tommy sweetens the deal. "I told Hen and Karen you were setting the pace. Are you gonna make a liar out of me again?"

Evan barely waits until they're out of sight before he's got two hands bracketing Tommy's hips from behind. Tommy knows he's staring at his ass - can't quite blame him. He works hard on making it look good in dress blues.

They manage to make it to the far side of Tommy's truck before Evan spins him, presses him to the passenger door before Tommy can get it open for him. "When we get home," he starts, too busy pressing his tongue to Tommy's pulse point to notice Tommy's quiet inhale at the phrasing. "I'm gonna take this uniform off of you, piece by piece, and then I'm gonna blow you so good you see stars."

"We should both wear our hats," Tommy negotiates, hoping to keep it light enough that he won't hone in on 'home'.

"The medals can stay too," Evan says, and sucks a bruise into the side of Tommy's neck when Tommy tilts his head back to laugh.

#bucktommy #bucktommy fic #tevan fic #so about that deleted scene #i leave it up to your imagination what chris threatened tommy with #shovel talk fic

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sir-adamus · 4 months

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i've got the blu ray for volume 1 playing and i'm watching the behind the scenes video and Monty explicitly spells out how important collaboration with other creatives was in building RWBY, saying how he wanted to work with Kerry and Miles on it in creating the world and how he mostly gave them broad strokes. and it's mentioned how they all put the show bible together - i'm gonna put the whole transcript for the video under the cut (which i'm having to do myself because no one has uploaded this video anywhere as far as i can tell and there's no fucking subtitles)

Monty Oum [Creator and Director]: It’s the stories I’ve always wanted to tell versus the idea I came up with about, a little over a year ago. And we were talking about doing another show, and I just kind of half-asleep came up with the idea of a color rule for a bunch of characters. The red, white, black and yellow color scheme was something that was very prominent even in my previous work, so I started matching names up, matching ideas up. Also thinking about like, some of the ideas I’d stored up over the years. At some point or another the word ‘RWBY’ came to me.

Monty: Starting the show out originally, I designed the original character, Ruby, as well as going into the other characters. So once I had the first trailer done, and thinking about the rest of the characters for the show, I started bringing in other artists who I had watched for years. People I’d always said “someday I’ll work with them, someday I’ll have them design for me.” And when I was certain about having certain characters, I first contacted an artist I admired and found over DeviantArt. Her name was Ein Lee, she’s actually from Taiwan, and I found her art probably well over five years ago, and just loved her art style, and therefore wanted to incorporate it into my characters. So, I would do rough designs for team RWBY as well as designs for team JNPR, and she would flesh that out to be even further. To the point where eventually I didn’t need to design characters anymore, she started designing a bunch of the rest of the characters down the line.

Monty: The second person I brought on to RWBY was Kerry, because we had just been having conversations about the kind of show we could make. I’d been working with Miles on Season 10. He was writing scenes while I was making scenes, and so the three of us would have a lot of meetings and collaborate on the show to the point where I just started coming up with the broad strokes eventually and they had pretty much written the bulk of the show. Collaboration’s a big deal here, and I tried to include as many people as I can.

Kerry Shawcross [Co-writer]: Right after RvB ended, we wanted to just go straight into RWBY, but that was like right when we were going into commercial season. So we would work our normal hours here. Like 10 to 7-ish, then we would go back to one of our apartments and just start writing.

Miles Luna [Co-writer]: Monty really was enthusiastic about having these characters that may appear really one-dimensional for like the first few scenes that you see them, but the longer you get to know them, you realise “Oh, Yang isn’t just a dumb blonde party girl. She’s a very caring and nurturing girl, that has had to essentially be there for Ruby when she was young.”

Kathleen Zuelch [Producer]: When Monty and Miles and Kerry came to me, and really took me through the story. I started becoming a huge believer, because I’m a big fan of old school, traditional fairy tales, I love the Brothers Grimm, I love all the Snow White, and I love Little Red Riding Hood. I grew up with all of those stories, and the way that they were very clever in creating this whole world that’s kind of making homage to all of these amazing stories really inspired me to get more on board with what they wanted to do with this whole anime show.

Taylor McNee (née Pelto) [Art Director]: The world of RWBY, it looks very familiar. We wanted a blend of very classic looking architecture and clothing and cars, but we’re also mixing in this really kind of futuristic feel, like these little touches of some really futuristic stuff like holograms and things that you wouldn’t find in a classic [inaudible]. And that’s how we’re making this world unique. Our assets have to go through this pipeline of concept, modelling, texturing, and then finally being able to be put into the 3D program. So we start out with the concept and we usually bring that image into Maya, which is the main 3D software that we use. We have to make a 3D model that looks exactly like the concept that we were given, and it’s quite a process. Basically, we’re pushing polys and extruding stuff until we make the perfect shape, then afterwards we have to UV unwrap it, and then lay everything out on a texture sheet and then paint it, and that will put the image on the model. After that we’re basically done with the model and texture, and then we have to give it to the animators. So then we will set it up in Poser so the animators can grab it and use it for their characters.

Gray Haddock [Lead Editor]: There’s a lot of people working on this show, and there’s a lot of different elements in the pipeline. Editorial kinda serves as a hub between all the different departments, so we help all the communication and coordination between all the different pieces of the show, depending on what part of development that they’re in. Editorial’s getting involved way early in the process, we work alongside the director and the writers and the storyboard artists, and we use the scripts to help develop the storyboards and the camera angles for all those boards. So editorial is responsible for building up the moments of any given scene in terms of the timing and what you wanna look at, at any given moment. So we take the script and we help develop the camera angles and how long you wanna linger in a particular camera angle, look at one character or another or the scene as a whole, and the rhythm of the scene in terms of how long is it gonna take to spend on a particular line or when you want the music to come in, things like that. So we build up a set of animatics with the storyboards, and the first pass of all the audio. This is what then is handed off to the animators, so they can know exactly what is in what shot and how long do they have to animate it in a given shot. And once they’re done animating and their shot’s been approved, then their shot goes to the render farm, we get the rendered shot back and we drop it into the timeline for our episode and finesse the cut a little bit if we have to. But for the most part, we’ve done our job right and everything should pretty much be locked in for the most part by the time we’re getting animation.

Kerry: What’s kinda interesting as we’re creating the characters is, we kinda knew what kind of character they’d be. We knew Ruby would act a certain way, we knew Weiss would act a certain way, but we didn’t really know much about them. So we would get to the point where we’d be figuring out plotlines or figuring out dialogue and we’d be like “What would Weiss say here? What would Nora say here?” And then it turned into “Oh well now we know.”

Miles: Obviously we put a lot of thought into Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang before we started writing the dialogue. I remember sitting upstairs and we made a show bible, and we’re starting- we talked about likes, dislikes, personality traits. One of the first things I remember making was “Weiss drinks coffee. Blake drinks tea.”

Kerry: It’s important. It sounds not important at all, but it’s very important. It says so much about them

Miles: But it’s so important. So much about them, also it says nothing about them. It was just like- that’s just what it is.

Monty: I want the show to have resonance with people who are growing up. Cos everyone’s story is the story of kind of becoming who they are. Especially these days when the path of becoming who you are tends to be marginalised with reality. Having done what I’ve done, where I’ve essentially dropped out of high school, started learning this stuff on my own, and therefore land in a position where I get to take the things I was dreaming about when I was growing up and make it real. I tend to get a lot of response from people who are also not sure what they’re meant to become, a lot of them also have the same bright imaginations and with the way the world is, the hardships of what it means to grow up tends to marginalise who you are, and I would hate that to happen to anyone because the future is in creativity and that’s not something you can just manufacture. I actually would like this show to grow up with the people, so unlike most shows where they tend to be ageless or age very slowly, I’d like our fifteen-year-old fans watching fifteen-year-old Ruby, when they’re twenty-five, to be watching twenty-five-year-old Ruby, and to actually have some resonance with the character. Probably one of my favourite types of feedback is to say “I know this person” or “this person is just like me,” and that’s probably one of the best things about coming up with these characters.

#RWBY

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wilcze-kudly · 24 days

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I've honestly always loved the scene between Zuko and Katara in the Crystal Caves during the Crossroads of Destiny, even though it's been kinda diluted by shipping discourse.

I love how this scene showcases how far Zuko's story has come, but that it still has a ways to go. It's also a great moment from Katara, showing off her compassion and kindness, despite her rightful anger at Zuko. And this moment of "reaching across the aisle" between two children who were forced into something much bigger and crueler than they could ever be apways makes me quite emotional.

But I'm kinda tired of seeing this scene in just that vacuum, when looking at it in relation to two other scenes makes it so much more interesting.

The first scene we can compare this interaction to is pretty obvious, since it's basically "the other half" of Katara and Zuko's moment. It's Iroh and Aang's conversation in the tunnel.

I adore this scene it's just such a vibe I too would like to walk through a tunnel with a nice old man who gives me good advice (even if said nice old man is a war criminal)

Of course the first obvious parallel between these two converastions is a member of the Gaang (two members who have been most affected by the fire nations actions btw) having a genuine, deep conversation with a banished member of the Fire Nation royal family.

I also think this conversation contrasts Katara and Zuko's conversation very well. It juxtaposes Iroh and Zuko, showing us how far Iroh has come and how far Zuko still has to go.

I think it's very symbolic that Katara and Zuko connect mainly on their pasts, while Iroh and Aang do about the present and future.

Two quotes in this conversation stand out to me particularly.

Iroh: Perfection and power are overrated. I think you were very wise to choose happiness and love.

It not only relates to Aang's current predicament, but it also foreshadows Zuko's dissatisfaction with his life after he returns to the Fire Nation at Azula's side. After Zuko helps "kill" Aang and take over Ba Sing Se, he has acheived what he believed would be his version of perfection, while also getting back the power he was born into. But he is miserable. He's dissatisfied, wracked with guilt and constantly second guessing himself and the world around him. He even says this: During the meeting, I was a perfect prince... the son my father wanted. But I wasn't me.

But Zuko was also unable to fully choose a simple life of peace and happiness in Ba Sing Se, choosing to fight Azula when she attacks him and Iroh. Because he still subconciously was searching for that feeling of power and wasn't ready to allow himself to prioritise things other than his honour. He wanted to fight Azula and prove himself, but he just eneded up allowing himself to be captured by the overwhelming force of the Dai Li.

While Iroh has learnt to see the merit in a simple life and actively rejects the power (for better or for worse) that comes with his status as a member of the royal family.

Iroh: I don't know the answer. Sometimes, life is like this dark tunnel. You can't always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you just keep moving, [Aang earthbends the rocks away one last time. Iroh's fire blows out. He smiles.] you will come to a better place.

Of course, this quote could relate to many things, including just the whole story of the show, but it also obviously relates to Zuko's redemption arc. Zuko's story is the epitome of continuing to slowlu crawl through a dark tunnel until you reach a better place. He stagnates and stumbles occasionally, but he keeps goingm and eventually gets there.

He reaches his better place.

It's interesting to see the contrast between Zuko and Katara's interaction and that of Iroh and Aang.

I think the scene in which Aang and Katara split off from Zuko and Iroh.

Aang and Iroh maintain eye contact, and Aang even gives a respectful bow. While Katara tries to make eye contact with Zuko, but he turns his gaze away, as if ashamed of his moment of weakness. Eye contact is very important is ATLA's visual storytelling, as I've spoken before in my post analysing the mutuality of Kataang's gaze.

I believe this scene foreshadows Zuko siding with Azula and Iroh siding with the Gaang at the end of the episode. Iroh and Aang have reached an understanding, and therefore, they are represented as facing each other and parting on good, respectful terms.

While in Katara and Zuko's case, Katara tries to make a similar connection with Zuko, however he rejects that connection. Ultimately this forces Katara to turn her back on him too, which may foreshadow her rightful anger at him in B3.

Ok, so the first interaction I want to metion gives us a bit of insight to Zuko, but what about Katara?

For that we have to go all the way back to B1, to an episode that I don't really see talked about in relation to Katara's story. Jeong Jeong is only the second friendly firebender Katara has encountered in probably her entire life, the first being Shayu, with whom she had very little interaction. Of course, I think this would at least give her pause.

Jeong Jeong and Katara's conversation is very short, but I think it had a great impact on Katara.

Jeong Jeong : You have healing abilities. The great benders of the Water Tribe sometimes have this ability. I've always wished I were blessed like you - free from this burning curse. Katara: But you're a great master. You have powers that I will never know. Jeong Jeong: Water brings healing and life. But fire brings only destruction and pain. It forces those of us burdened with its care to walk a razor's edge between humanity and savagery. Eventually, we are torn apart.

Jeong Jeong is the polar opposite of the firebender archetype Katara had in her head. He's thoughtful, disciplined and very careful with his firebending. Jeong Jeong's hatred of his own firebending also stands as a contrast to Katara considering her waterbending a vital and beautiful part of who she is as a person.

I always found it interesting that outside of Aang, Jeong Jeong was one of the first people in the series to respect Katara as a waterbender and see her potential, as he even connects her abilities to great waterbenders. It's especially a stark difference to how he treated Aang, the literal Avatar.

The way Jeong Jeong talks about firebending also reflects what Katara has seen herself of it.

Yet she pushes back at his self depreciation, showing that she still sees the value of his abilities. This foreshadows Katara's compassion for the people of the Fire Nation, especially when paired with Sokka's distrust of them.

I also think it's quite interesting that healing is often involved in Katara's attempts to connect with Fire Nation people. Her first connection is with Jeong Jeong, then she offers to heal Iroh, later Zuko's scar, she heals people in the village during the Painted Lady incident. Finally, the crowning jewel of this series of events is her healing Zuko after the Agni Kai.

This is especially poignant in the story of her and Zuko's relationship, with Katara offering her healing services to him twice, but being either rejected or interrupted. And finally she does heal him at the very end of the show, after he took lightning for her, symbolising a "bridging the gap", so to speak.

I think Katara and Zuko's conversation ties back to Katara's interaction with Jeong Jeong for a few reasons. Firstly, there's the obvious of Katara having a moment with a firebender with a facial scar. Also Katara's wording when she offers to heal Zuko's scar: instead of saying that she's a healer, she says "I have healing abilities ", which is exactly how Jeong Jeong described her power.

Ans once again, Jeong Jeong is the one to protect Katara and buy her time to escape, ehile Zuko betrays her. This once again just shows how far Zuko has yet to go before B3.

I've always thought that the way ceratain Avatar scenes intertwine with themes and similarities is very fascinating and fun to pick apart.

The scene between Zuko and Katara is profound, but I think it's often viewed in isolation, be it due to people wearing ship goggles or it just standing our more. But I think one of the reasons it's so wonderful is that it interweaves into so many other events of "reaching across the isle", of our protagonists connacting with firebenders. It's not just a good character moment for Zuko and Katara, it's a mark that connection and peace with the Fire Nation is possible, that it can be acheived, that it slowly is being acheived. Every one of these interactions is unique, but they all form a good foundation for B3, when we really get into humanising the Fire Nation civillians.

The scene between Zuko and Katara is beautiful not only because of what it is, but also because of what it symbolises: the hope of peace.

Ok this was "stating the obvious", once again brought to you by Quill in their pretentious humanistics student hat. I like to vomit words and some of you like to read them! So thank you if you have read them

#ok getting off my soapbox #underrated platonic relationship I want more of- Jeong Jeong and Katara. get pakku out of here jeong jeong is her grandather now #zuko #katara #iroh #aang #jeong jeong #atla #avatar #avatar: the last airbender #the last airbender #avatar the last airbender

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rogueddie · 8 months

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Famous Steddie Au Recs

Important: READ THE TAGS! Also, leave a comment and kudos! These fics are amazing and I love them and I hope y'all do too 📸

Help I'm Alive

ChaoGarden

Eddie reached a hand out and gently tucked his fingers under Steve’s chin, tilting it upwards and turning Steve’s face just a little to the side as he observed something on Steve’s face with a look of intense speculation. Steve couldn’t say for certain, but there was almost a tiny bit of anger there just along the edges, like he was stifling away anger at whatever it was that he was looking at.

Surely he wasn’t looking at the-

“Somebody put their hands on you, sugar?”

Words : 65,581 Chapters : 9/9 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Somebody To You

tears_for_years

@ bisexual_disaster: i would let eddie munson make me bark like a dog

Words : 4,714 Chapters : 3/3 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

you smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row scream your name.

antithetical_dreamgirl

Eddie has three major rules when it comes to working with celebrities: 1. don’t flirt with the talent; 2. don’t hang out with the talent; 3. don’t, under any circumstances, fuck the talent.

He’s had enough rockstars’ managers kick him out of hotel rooms after waking up to an empty bed with cold sheets to have learned his lesson ten times over by now.

He doesn’t even think of adding a fourth rule: don’t fall in love with the talent. Has never even come close to needing a rule like that. Not until he meets Steve Harrington.

Words : 4,510 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Consensual Catfishing

foresthearts

When Eddie gets a message on instagram from an account claiming to be the famous pop-star Steve Harrington, he knows immediately it's a catfish. He's not dumb. The account has no pictures and people like Steve Harrington don't just randomly DM guys like Eddie.

Still. What would be the harm in letting it play out? It's not dangerous if he knows he's being catfished. No, if he knows about it, then it's basically like a fun little roleplay. No harm, no foul.

Words : 32,108 Chapters : 4/4 Rating : Mature

AO3 : x

abstract

a_little_unsteddie

The break-up had been messy, and long overdue by the time it happened; Eddie had spent the better part of two years avoiding everything in the news including Steve's name, half convinced that Steve hadn't ever loved him at all. So, why was Chrissy sending him an interview that Steve had done at some talk show?

Words : 1,107 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

the night breeze carries something sweet

asbealthgn

Eddie is used to getting recognized in public, but it doesn’t mean he likes it.

That is, until the most beautiful man he’s ever seen in his life sits in the seat next to him, unfurling a giant map that easily shields both of them. Eddie’s fucking savior.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know how to get to Japantown, would you?” the guy asks.

Words : 4,898 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Explicit

AO3 : x

Your Life, Framed on the Wall

orphan_account

A scrapbook of interviews and articles following Eddie Munson’s rise to fame as the frontman of Corroded Coffin, and his relationship with one Steve Harrington.

Words : 9,379 Chapters : 9/9 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

Make Them Feel It

camouflagedlove

Steve Harrington has acted in many romance movies over the years but finds himself yearning for that same kind of love in real life. He struggles to make those connections but feelings start to boil up for him when his co-star, Eddie Munson, wants to rehearse the love confession scene from their movie. It's just a scene...isn't it?

Words : 2,835 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

We're Going The Distance

stevelovers

Steve doesn't know where Dustin got this little idol crush. After seeing world famous Olympic Gold Medalist “Medal” Munson- a geek who has set world records in snowboarding, he begs Steve to take him and the kids to watch him compete in an amateur charity tournament at Mad River Mountain’s Mad Dog snow race. Too bad he's a complete asshole.

Words : 14,732 Chapters : 1/1 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

i'll find my soul as i go home

oakenorcrist

Eddie Munson has had a rough go of it -- broken-hearted and uninspired, he decides to leave everything behind in San Francisco and spend some time with his uncle in a small town in the mountains. Little does he know that there he will find not only the peace and rest he's so desperately needed but also everything he never knew was missing from his life up until this moment.

Words : 31,868 Chapters : 5/5 Rating : Teen and Up Audiences

AO3 : x

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #fic rec #ficrec

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pharawee · 10 months

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Okay, buckle up fellow BL enjoyers and people who are at least a little bit curious about Pit Babe the novel. I'm now five (very long) chapters in, so get ready for some spoilers and details.

Only, there isn't much to tell. The chapters are long but very little happens. Well, except for the fact that Charlie and Babe are just constantly getting it on. If you thought that the Big Dragon novel was pwp then think again. Maybe the smut is the alphas we met along the way. Or something.

It starts very similar to the first ep of the series, with Babe partaking in some pre-racing fun - only it isn't very fun for him because he hates the scent of other alphas. As an alpha himself he has the whole heightened senses thing and that makes him super sensitive to all kinds of scents - omegas included, I guess (yes, they exist in this universe but that's about it). And because he himself is a power bottom that leaves him with a bit of a problem. But not too much of a problem because the novel mentions hundreds of hook-ups until Charlie comes along.

Things play out the same as in the series. Charlie wants a car, Babe is his idol and he'd do anything for a chance at racing. Cue to the first of many, many spicy scenes. Babe is delighted that Charlie has no scent. Charlie already jokes about impregnating him (I forgot that this novel has mprg, why am I doing this again?) but so far it's never mentioned again.

There's very little racing happpening. The only other character from the series that has shown up so far is Way and he's pretty much the same. Way wants Babe but he's too cowardly to make a move so they're stuck in this weird friendship where Babe is really comfortable with Way being all touchy-feely. This gets Charlie jealous because at this point Babe and him are pretty much exclusive (with Babe demanding that Charlie hide behind face masks and hats whenever they're out and about as to not taint Babe's reputation as a horndog). Cue to some angry sex. And then some more sex.

But wait, somewhere along the way Babe catches feelings. He pretty much has Charlie move in with him, does some embarrassing stuff like calling him when he's gone for one (1) day and buys him a desk so he can work from his condo. They have a routine now. And so. much. sex. On every imaginable surface (some poor dudes car after Charlie wins a race where he himself was the bet) and occasion, several times a day.

Charlie is a little bit sus, though. Nothing's outright wrong, but sometimes Babe wonders if he's really the stupid boy he's grown to trust. Because sometimes Charlie reacts in ways that Babe can't quite explain but that are glossed over almost immediately because Charlie can be very distracting. One time he secretly follows him when Babe's out to buy something. He's about to get mugged and Charlie saves him (which doesn't fit with Charlie's whole personality at all). Another time Charlie's gone for a day, supposedly staying with his parents but he comes home smelling like alcohol and a strong, unpleasant scent (clearly something alpha-related) that Babe can't explain. But whatever, Pit Babe's horny and clearly Charlie is incapable of lying anyway because he's too stupid.

Yeah. 🤡

Oh, and as for the no kissing rule? Sadly that's abolished after the second sex scene in like, half a sentence.

And that's things so far. There's really very little talk about anything omegaverse, but mostly because it's just chapter after chapter of well-written smut. Babe constantly calls Charlie "his alpha" (not to his face) - but even though he's clearly in charge, Charlie has definitely taken a hold over him (and Charlie knows and uses this to his advantage). They have a really interesting dynamic. There's no power struggle at all, just a gradual shift of what their relationship means to either of them. There's definitely something up with Charlie though, but I'm surprised they're so open about it in the series.

And where does the rest of the cast even come from? Or the whole plot? Poor Winner is so sad and pathetic, he doesn't even seem to exist in the novel (just some dudes named Billy and Six who might or might not have previously hooked up with Babe).🤣

#pit babe the series #pit babe #jane watches stuff #bl meta #mind you i know nothing about a/b/o dynamics #i always stayed very far away from this side of the fandom #but i like thai bl novels and i'm super curious so

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fatuismooches · 2 years

Note

i'll brainrot with you about dottore and his sick! s/o:

clearly with s/o's conditions it's not optimal to go outside in the freezing cold, but one day the snowfall is so much more gentle outside and something like this is a rare occasion in snezhnaya. would dottore indulge them (of course with plenty of precautions taken) or would he rather not risk it at all?

your writing paints such vivid pictures in my head and i honestly love the comfort and warmth your work brings :]]

♡ 𝐒𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 ♡

synopsis: Your poor health and fragile condition have consistently gotten in the way of various activities for many years. But that was going to change today, as you were going to take your first step into the flaky goodness of pure, white snow.

includes: dottore w/ gn! reader

notes: Related to the posts under my fragile reader tag. Thank you very much, I'm very glad my writing makes you happy! This was so cute, I originally planned for it to be only a couple hundred words but I went overboard and decided to make it a full-blown piece.

You used to enjoy the concept of cold. Growing up in a hot country had you deeply curious about the kind of weather that would warrant people wearing dozens of layers, bundling up to the point where they were barely recognizable. You wanted to go somewhere that snowed one day, you once told your lover as he sat at his desk, tinkering with Archons knows what. Dottore only grunted in response, saying that if research led him there, you would accompany him. As a matter of fact, there were some Ruin Guards he wanted to take a look at in Dragonspine. You hummed, enjoying the moment as you continued to flip through the picture book.

But now, you couldn’t bring yourself to like the cold. You think that if you weren’t sick, you’d enjoy the weather in Snezhnaya much more, but the cold permeates your body even though you’re inside the lab. (Dottore had to force Pantalone to give him more funds to install more heaters.) You didn’t like to even walk through the halls of Dottore’s complicated maze-like lab because they were too big, making the cold air suffocate you all around. (Unless you’re accompanied by a clone. Somehow, Dottore had implemented a feature into his clones to heat up and become warm, so when you’d cling to them, you wouldn’t be cold anymore. You enjoyed it thoroughly because the reactions of the clones were cute.)

Many days, you spent the time looking out the tightly sealed window at the snow. Despite living in the snow-covered nation for so long, you had never sunken a foot into the powdery fluff. When Zandik was recruited into the Fatui, you were unconscious during the trip because your body surely would not be able to handle such an extraneous journey. How would it feel, you thought? You’ve frequently asked some of your favorite clones to tell you how the snow felt. (You felt slightly embarrassed asking your real lover.) Apparently, most of the time the snow was deep and crunchy from continuous snowfall. If you weren’t careful where you walked, half of your leg could get swallowed underneath! Many children liked to form things like balls out of the snow and play games with them. But sometimes, very rarely, the snow lightens and melts, depending on how the Tsaritsa feels. It’s a beautiful scene, apparently.

You had lost faith in the Gods long ago after your mysterious illness suddenly struck you (Zandik never cared about them in the first place), but you hoped and prayed to any force that was willing to listen to you - please let the snow ease up, just a bit. It was a bit hypocritical since you did not like the cold, but you still desired to experience it like a normal person. You could bear the pain if only to have fun for a couple of minutes. You did not tell your lover this; one, because you knew it was impossible with your condition, and two, you did not want to bother him with your frivolous wants. But it seemed like you were too obvious with your intentions, as one of the first things you’d do in the morning was drag yourself out of bed, despite the great amount of energy it took, to go to your favorite window and peer outside.

“You seem to be quite interested in watching the snow lately, aren’t you?” The deep voice behind you made you jump.

“Zandik! Oh, you scared for there,” you pressed a hand to your heart and quickly took a seat that was already permanently placed near the window, already tired from the past few minutes. Your lover walked toward you, hands carefully placed behind his back, each step calculated. You couldn’t help but find some happiness in that - the way he walked was always so commanding and enchanting somehow, hypnotizing too.

“The weather here is quite different from Sumeru,” you observed. “I can’t help but be intrigued by it.”

“Is that so? It is quite boring to me. The landscape is always the same and it is rather hard to conduct experiments outside because of it.”

“Heh, it’s always the experiments and research with you. At least try to enjoy it,” you teased, rolling your eyes at him playfully. Dottore shook his head and gently flicked your forehead, causing you to pout.

“Furthermore, the cold isn’t good for you. I believed you didn’t like it, anyway,” Dottore scoffed.

“I know,” you said softly. “But I still want to experience it,” the last part was a mumble that was meant for yourself, but Dottore heard it anyway, making his eyes widen as a thought began to quickly form.

“Do you… want to go outside and see the snow?”

The fact that you were caught made you bolt up straight and quickly try to deny it. “No, no, I’m fine. It was just a fleeting thought,” you quickly reassured him.

Dottore doesn’t know why he didn’t realize it sooner. Of course you would be bored, waking up every day to the same redundant routine, watching everyone go about their daily lives while you sat there, helpless to do anything besides wait for him to cure you. Of course you would want to do something new, after hearing the same repetitious lines of how you’ll get better soon, how he’s working on a new medicine, how it’ll all be over soon, but when was “soon” coming? How long has the envy of others been eating you up? The thought of that made his smile slip.

A soft goodbye snapped him out of his thoughts. A clone had come to administer your daily medicine and get you ready for the day. Dottore quickly put his usual smirk back on and nodded at you. Your gentle smile and a wave bid him farewell, as the clone wrapped his arm around you to support you as you walked away. But Zandik was still thinking. When was the last time he had seen you with a big smile? A big, goofy one that stretched your lips beautifully and made your face hurt from smiling that hard. The answer was, he did not know. The most he could recall was from his Akademiya days, where you would greet him with one of those grins every morning, always a ball of energy.

The fact followed him throughout the day as he worked. The mere idea that it was bothering him so much was simply absurd. But he could not forget about the times his clones has reported to him about the times you cried. When you refused to leave your room some days or didn’t want to eat. He was not one for any type of comfort, not when his hands had committed some of the most wicked acts to man. How could he be, when the first thing on his mind was to hurt others, but the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you?

He did not know what to do, where to place his hands or if saying something would make the situation worse. He did not know what to do other than let you rest your head on his shoulder, allowing you to take his hand and place it on your head, giving him the okay to stroke your hair. He let you babble to your heart’s content and awkwardly wiped your tears away, for when he looked into your painfully bleak eyes that were once filled with life, he did not think he could refuse you.

It was an odd feeling for him. He took pleasure in seeing the pain of others, delighting at the moment when they lost all hope. He found it amusing when others took a stand against him, only to see their expression fall when they realized it was fruitless. But you? The thought of that happening to you made him… He had to do something.

—

One day you woke up, ready to live out another normal and boring day. As you sleepily rubbed your eyes, you noticed something was a bit off. Usually, you could hear the wind howling and the snow slamming against the windows, even if it was just a little bit. But there was nothing. As you lay on the bed, collecting enough energy to get out of bed, a glimmer of hope grew within you. With a great push, you heaved yourself out of bed and made a beeline to the window. You sat down on the chair, and pulled the curtains to the side, prepared to be disappointed, but what you saw blew you away.

The snow had melted significantly, leaving a moderate and easily walkable layer on the ground. The snowfall had reduced greatly, and it no longer pounded on the window. Instead, it flew down calmly from the sky, which was still gray, but it was a beautiful, hazy kind of gray. Now that there weren’t mass amounts of snow blowing your view, you noticed there was some kind of river around the lab. It was still frozen over, but the ice sparkled beautifully and reflected the snow-covered trees. Speaking of trees, you didn’t know it was possible for such boring things to look so pretty. Copious amounts of snow rested on the limbs, occasionally slumping to the ground with a thud, and the process kept repeating as snowfall continued.

Your jaw was slack the whole time, as you continued to take in the breathtaking scenery. Snezhnaya just got ten times better, you thought.

“I see you’ve seen the change in weather, [Name]. It seems to be to your liking.”

“Eep!” you started at the assertive voice that was practically in your ear. Dottore had snuck up on you while you were too entranced by the view to notice him. “You need to stop doing that,” you scolded him.

His deep chuckle tugged at your heartstrings. “To think that after this many times, my experiment’s results have not changed. Truly fascinating.”

You tried to ball your hands into fists to prevent yourself from blushing. “A-Anyway, you should have woken me up earlier! I didn’t think this was possible!” you fretted, still in utter shock at this.

“That, I could not do. You know your body requires a great amount of rest.” You couldn’t argue with that. He was right.

“Now, is there something you want to do?” It was as if he had somehow planned for this to happen.

You fiddled with your sweater, trying to find the words for your outlandish request. “Sooo, um, I know this may not be possible, but can I go outside? I know with my health and stuff it may be hard but… just for a bit, please,” your voice got quieter and quieter towards the end of your sentence. You bit your lip in anticipation and nervously kept your eyes trained on the rug-covered floor. The few seconds of silence that passed felt endless.

“Yes, you may-”

“Really?!?!”

Your legs were swinging happily, and there it was. Pearly whites peeked out as you grinned cheerfully and you threw your hands up into the air. The smile he had not seen in far too long.

“But, I will accompany you, and you must stay by me at all times. You must follow all of my directions as well. Do you understand?”

A walk with your lover too? “Yes, yes I’ll do anything you ask!” you easily complied. You gathered all of your energy and squeezed your partner as hard as you could (which, wasn’t that hard, but to you it was) taking him off guard. You buried your face into his midsection and refused to let go, your words of thanks being muffled from being so close to him. Dottore was stiff at first but then eased into your embrace, fingering a cord of your hair.

You were feeling a burst of energy from this exciting news, so you had to do one more thing. You released him, and when you looked up, you could see that same self-assured, confident smile that you loved. Before he could speak again, you tugged on his blue ascot with as much force as you could summon, pulling him farther down to your level allowing you to smash your lips onto his. Catching him off guard allowed you to be in control for a couple of seconds, but it is quickly relinquished as your lover takes over quickly, effortlessly deepening the kiss. When the two of you parted, he had an almost smug grin on his face, displaying his pointy shark-like teeth.

“My my, quite eager, aren’t we? I have not seen these kinds of surprises since those old days.”

“Well,” you pecked both of his soft cheeks again, “you know I always make sure my doctor knows how I feel.” At that point, there was a knock on the door and one of Dottore’s clones came in to help you with your morning routine.

“Go about your day. I will come to get you when it’s time.” You smiled and squeezed his hand once more as you rose from the chair. Dottore’s hands returned behind his back as he watched the clone and you leave.

“Perhaps I should start to add new variables to my experiment… the results are quite interesting indeed.”

—

You could not focus on anything for the whole time. Your mind was all over the place thinking about how satisfying it would be to sink your foot into the fluffy goodness.

Apparently, Dottore had designed some kind of special jacket for you to wear, along with a scarf, gloves, earmuffs, boots, and more. It had some kind of built-in heater somehow, which made everything consistently warm including your body. Normally you’d listen to his rambles on how he created it and such, but you were too giddy at the thought of freaking snow. (And also how he took the time to make all this stuff for you. It probably only took him a short amount of time considering how intelligent he was, but the action warmed your heart.)

There were quite a few clones in the lab area watching you. You think that they seemed happy for you. One of them was helping you put the gear on while your lover set down some ground rules. Zandik also had on a big fluffy coat, which made him look rather cute. You kind of wanted to fit yourself inside of it with him.

“First, you must stay by my side at all times. You’ll probably have to hold onto my arm to steady yourself. We will be following a path. This means no straying in any other direction, at least without my permission. Of course, if you feel that you can’t handle the weather anymore, let me know immediately. Do you agree to abide by these rules?”

You held back a sigh and a laugh. You knew that all of these precautions were necessary but they were still a drag. Plus, the way your lover said it all seriously as if your very existence was on the line made you want to giggle.

“Yes, Zandik. I agree to all of your rules,” you huffed as the clone finished zipping up the jacket. “My common sense is still intact, you know.”

Even though he did not show it at all, Dottore was the slightest bit uneasy. There were many things he did not understand or know about your illness. Would the sudden change in the environment trigger you? He was not sure, but he already prepared for the worst. If anything, it would be a learning experience too - to see how much your body could handle. He was ready to take notes in his head.

“Come here.”

You slowly trekked your way toward him, getting used to the feel of the long boots. It was hard to imagine wearing these every day, but you soon fell into your lover’s chest as he began to stroke your hair.

“Well then, let us go,” he wrapped a steady arm around your waist to help you balance. “Watch the lab for me,” Dottore directed the other clones as they waved goodbye to you.

They were so cute, to be honest. Especially the ones from the Akademiya days.

—

You did not realize the extent of how big Dottore’s lab was until now. There were so many paths and rooms you walked by that you had no idea existed. What was beyond those doors? Some questions were better left unanswered. You were just letting your partner guide you as you clung to his side (the walking was a lot) until you reached a great, big door with a keypad.

“Are you ready?”

You eagerly nodded.

“And you do still remember the-”

“Yes, Zandik, I remember everything you told me,” you groaned. “Please just open the door already.”

“Patience, [Name],” he chuckled. “I look forward to seeing your reaction.” He let go of you and typed a whole long password on the keypad. And in an instant, loud noises exuded from the door as it began to open from the sides.

The first thing you felt was the puff of cold air hitting your cheeks, instinctively making you raise your arms to cover it. In a couple of seconds, the door opened completely and you could feel the light shine down on you. You put your hands down, and the snowy, outside world was laid before you.

It was majestic. The snow has managed to be untainted by any other substances, allowing it to be a pristine white that covered the landscape. Slowly, you took a few steps forward as Dottore carefully watched you, until you were standing at the edge where the floor ended, and the snow began. You took a quick glance at your lover and he motioned for you to go on. And so you did. You stepped into the snow.

The first thing you noticed was the crunch of the snow under your boots. It was oddly satisfying. And the way your foot sunk so easily into, it kind of reminded you of quicksand. But you could kick it around so easily, yet you could see it was hard enough to be used to form something solid. The cold hit you like a ton of bricks, but you were doing everything in your power to withstand it. The enhanced gear from your partner helped a lot. But, all you could say was wow. You were starting to get a bit jealous of the people who could walk in such surroundings every day with ease.

Dottore on the other hand was quite satisfied. The scenery was not what he found appealing. Rather, it was you. He found no interest in such worldly things, but your reactions were ever-changing and amusing to him. A snowflake fell on your nose and melted. You wrinkled your nose at the unfamiliar feeling. And he couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Hold onto me. The road is quite icy and slippery. You need to be very careful.” Zandik linked his arms with you, and you gratefully reciprocated.

You could not keep your eyes off anything and everything you saw. You loved Sumeru, but Snezhnaya was starting to grow on you. It was beautiful. But what you loved, even more, was talking to Zandik. You two had not had this much time together in far too long. He enthusiastically prattled on about his experiments, his creations. He even told you about his clones’ journey to Sumeru, and how the almighty Traveler was powerless against them. You indulged him of course. You had always loved his voice, and you found it rather endearing when he’d go on his rambles.

Dottore intentionally made sure the pace was slow and steady, so as to not rush your body or make you too tired. But of course, even after only a bit of time passed, you needed to rest. Thankfully, the two of you reached some kind of gazebo with a couple of benches inside. You had no idea this existed, and it seemed Dottore didn’t either, which didn’t surprise you. That man probably only cared about the entrance and exit to his lab.

The bench was cold but you did not care. Having your lover with you for this long already made you feel warm and fuzzy. Furthermore, you’d be crazy not to take advantage of the situation. You called his name and before you could make a move, he spoke.

“How do you feel?”

“Huh?”

“Has your heart rate increased since the exposure to the snow and cold? Do you feel light-headed? How easily can you move your arms and legs?”

“O-oh, well… um, I feel cold. My heart is a bit fast from the walking, but nothing out of the ordinary. My legs hurt from the walk too… but I’m used to it.”

“Interesting…” Zandik put his hand to his chin as he seemed to think. You sighed, and shifted closer to him, beginning to run your hands up his coat, which clearly grabbed his attention but he watched you silently. Your hands reached his soft cheeks and brushed over the cold exterior of his mask.

“You know, you should take this off more often,” you suggested as your hands began to creep under the sides of the mask. “There’s no one around…” you hummed. Dottore made no move to stop you so you easily slipped the mask off, revealing his sharp crimson eyes boring into you, and scars from long ago. Of course, you couldn’t help but smile at the face of your lover.

You moved in to press your lips against his, pleased at how you could now gently trace your fingers over his scars. No matter how long you knew him, he was sensitive to touch around that area, so you always made sure to be careful.

It was an odd, but strangely good feeling, Dottore thought. One he did not know he missed, as you began to pepper kisses along the top of his face. It had been a while since the two of you had kissed for so long, which was a result of your lack of liveliness due to your illness. It seems the new surroundings really did help you. He would have to keep that in mind.

“You’re so cute,” you giggled. He frowned at that and grabbed both your wrists, pushing your back onto the bench, and making you yelp.

“Enough of that. I believe that all of this has gone to your head,” Dottore’s domineering tone was back again.

“I was just- eep!” Your words were cut short as Zandik’s lips began to mark your neck.

“The human body’s temperature can go up a substantial amount just from kissing. Would you care to experiment the limits of that with me? You would be the perfect test subject,” you felt his unhinged grin spread against your neck.

“After all, I wouldn’t want you becoming too cold now, hmm?” His impossible strength easily overpowered you as he moved to hold both your wrists with one hand, while his free one rested on your thigh.

As you relinquished yourself to him, your lips were claimed an innumerable amount of times, a clear reminder of who you belonged to.

—

You had to turn in early for the night. The miniature adventure was so, so fun, and it felt like you kicked your illness in the ass for a bit, but now you really had to get some rest to recover what little strength you had. Surprisingly, Zandik was there with you this time, instead of one of his clones.

“...I’m sleepy, Zandik.”

“Of course. Your body has experienced much more physical exertion than usual. It needs time to relax.” You sighed, letting the warmth of the blankets begin to take you to dreamland.

“Hey, Zandik?”

“Yes, [Name]?”

“Remember when we were in the Akademiya, and during the night, I’d go down into your bunk bed and sleep with you? Hehe…”

“Yes, I remember rather clearly, the intrusion of my privacy and theft of my pillows,” he sighed. The first time you did that, he did not expect to be entranced by the sunlight cascading onto your peaceful face, the fluttering of your eyelashes, and the occasional quirk of your lips as you clearly dreamt of something good. But he had no knowledge of how to handle these feelings, so he shoved you off the tiny bed, rudely waking you up. You ended up walking around the Akademiya with a bump on your head after that.

“I was trying to give you hints, Zandik. You were just dense,” you pouted. “Hey, you should come and lay with me for a bit. Like the old days.”

Dottore was hesitant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, rather, he was so incredibly busy, especially after today. To be more precise, he felt that time not spent on finding a cure for you was time inefficiently used (most of the time.)

You tugged on his sleeve pleadingly. “Just for five minutes, until I nod off…”

He couldn’t bring himself to deny you, as he slipped under the covers with you. The softness of the mattress, plush blankets, and pillows that had your scent almost made him do a double take. It had been a long time since he was in a bed in general. Perhaps just a few hours of rest wouldn’t hurt. It would boost his effectiveness drastically…

You immediately scooted your body towards his and pressed it into his, nudging your face into his chest. He came to rest his hand on your head, while the other was loosely thrown over your waist.

“I miss you,” you softly uttered. He did not respond, nor did you expect an answer - what could he say anyway? The soft stroking on your head was more than enough for you at this moment, and it quickly lulled you to sleep.

“Thank… you.” You were out like a light, while your lover looked at you, absentmindedly fiddling with a strand of your hair.

It was no simple task to make this happen. But as a scholar, of course, he was able to negotiate. For once, it wasn’t for his own gain, but for you. The results? It was a complete and utter success.

Dottore could not lie, he felt as though he was back at the Akademiya with you. He remembers the two of you walking down the hallways, your chatty and sweet self a stark contrast to his rather irritated and know-it-all aura. How you would hug him from behind late in the night as he worked at his desk, begging and whining for him to go to sleep as you both had long lectures in a few hours.

He admittedly wants to see you take the first step into a raging blizzard. He wants to see you brave the cold with ease. He wants to see you swing your sword without abandon again, not afraid to take on anyone in a verbal or physical fight. He wanted his assistant back: the one who would be ready to jump down the throat of someone who dared to question him, the one who organized his notes in the most efficient manner.

The God of Wisdom once told him that his research was insulting, contradictory to the rules and ways of life. Now that he looked back on it, he found it amusing - even a Godly being was held back by such drivel. But it did not matter to him. There was no rule or barrier he wasn’t willing to cross in order to cure you, as he had already done it multiple times with no remorse. He would oversee your absolute recovery personally.

After all, there were many more snowy days to come.

Bonus:

“You know, Arlecchino, I saw the most interesting thing the other day,” a soft voice echoed throughout the room.

“Hmm? What was it?”

“I happened across our lovely Doctor going into Her Majesty, The Tsaritsa’s chambers. For what, I wonder? Hehe…”

“...I guess that [Name] person truly does mean something to him, if he was willing to go that far.”

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #dottore x reader #il dottore x reader #il dottore #dottore fluff #genshin impact il dottore #fatui harbingers x reader #fatui harbingers #fatui x reader #dottore angst #genshin dottore #fragile reader <3

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tavyliasin · 9 months

Text

Villain-Fucker Angst Hours

Good timezone, darlings~ Are you ready to get all up in your feelings? No? Me neither, loves, but here we are regardless so the words are going to flow as they usually do... This is focused on Raphael from Baldur's Gate 3 and his fandom, but the latter section can easily apply to any villain fandom.

Self-Analysis of Devil-Fuckery, Or Why Do I Adore Raphael When He Is Very Obviously Evil: A Short Essay by TavyliaSin (Who Still Cannot Name Anything With Less Than A Full Paragraph) ((NSFW)) (((Game Spoilers)))

The following may discuss heavier topics, but without specifics, so whilst it should be safe for most to read without triggering any difficult memories please be aware of Raphael's entire vibes, the content and context of his story, and I'd also like to mention that this isn't a "woe be us for we are terrible people" piece, it's actually more about:

"There is an inherent kindness and warmth to much of the Raphael fandom, and I think there could be some common threads behind that, pulling us all in closer in a comforting blanket that we wrap around each other to keep out the cold of the world."

So, what in the nine hells am I on about? Well. Raphael-fandom is a wild and wonderful place to be. The rest is in sections, so feel free to skip through to what you feel is relevant to your interests. I am so prone to waffle I should open a restaurant~

Who Are Fans Of Raphael? What Do They Want?

We are feral, unhinged, all sheets to the wind "I want that devil man, carnally, and there is no force in all the planes that could stop me". There's the vanilla to the extreme and every level in between, tops, bottoms, versatiles, Doms, subs, and switches - there are a whole lot of people who would love to get their hands on either (or both) of Raphael's forms, for a simple smooch or something far more spicy~ [edited in] To add on to this, not all of us even desire him in a sexual way, for many it is romantic, soft, or even just the rather pleasant thought of spending an evening with drinks by the hellfire because he would be fascinating company. Aces, Aros, and AroAces may all find themselves well within the devilish corners of fandom too~ which is a whole other essay~ [end edit] So, I see you. I'm one of you. Extremely loud and utterly hingeless in my fan appreciation for Raphael. He's one of my favourites to write about, I seek art of him, and the same goes for his mirrored other half, Haarlep, who I arguably love more despite there being far less content of them in the game.

And the Fandom? The Vibe?

From my experience in the Raphael Fandom areas, we have a very deep and abiding understanding of consent, respect, and treating each other with an absolute and uncompromising kindness. We've had talks about keeping each other safe in fandom, exchanged details of people we have encountered who need to be avoided, even shared details between moderators of different fandom servers to pre-ban people proven to be creeps and/or art thieves. We've also discussed consent, including the issues with it in the game, and how areas of the story can only really be considered dubious at best and could easily be triggering for people. And these discussions have been open, honest, fair, and with the acknowledgement that most of us love these scenes anyway. So there's a sense of care that runs through everything, behind the horny-posting and fan content, behind the endless thirsting after our favourite fictional characters. We have a depth of kindness that warms my sinners soul every time I see it.

What Does This Have To Do With Self-Reflection, Raphael, or Villainy In General?

Well let's look at Raphael. He's a villain, obviously. He's manipulative, devious, and inherently evil by his very nature. He keeps Hope chained in his basement, constantly subjected to endless torture. There's also mention of how Gortash was sold into his service at a young age, clearly not an enjoyable experience given the other details and how things turn out (particularly as Raphael would need Gortash's own plans to fail entirely in order for him to succeed in his own and get that crown). And as fans, we accept that. We don't sit making excuses, or trying to say "well actually Gortash is a little shit and Hope probably deserve it", and we don't shy away from or conveniently ignore those darker sides of him with malicious intent to enable more evil to flourish. What I noticed, when I allowed the thoughts to continue, is that there is a theme here.

If Evil Can Be Loved Then So Can I

That's the core. Of course, darlings, I am not claiming to be a heinous monster. I certainly do not have a laundry list of crimes that would make the devil himself say "Uh, that's a bit much." But I sure as fuck treat myself like I do sometimes. You see, I think a lot of us have that tendency, to judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else. Our patience, understanding, and forgiveness for others runs deeper than the Mariana Trench, but when it comes to our own flaws? One minor mistake and we think ourselves to be the worst beings ever to disgrace the earth. Thus, the villainy we see reflects how we are treating ourselves. So by loving and accepting all of those things that should be terrible, hated, we are actually learning that no matter how poorly we think of ourselves that we can be worthy of that same love and acceptance. We are extending the affection we are unable to show ourselves to someone we see the worst parts of ourselves amplified within. And that's why villains attract the people with the most kindness. The most forgiveness. Because it takes someone with a truly huge amount of empathy to find love for the embodiment of evil.

Or, IDK, maybe villains are just hot and we're too far down to care.

But wait, before you go!

THERE'S SOMETHING WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT.

All of this is about FICTION. We should never be accepting of the kinds of evil we see in the game irl. We do not owe anyone kindness if they do not show it to us.

What is hot in fiction is not always OK IRL.

Look after yourselves out there, remember that consent is key in all things, and please do try to learn to love yourselves, darlings, you are worthy of it and you should judge yourself by the same standard you judge others. If you are in doubt, if you are worried, if you feel afraid - reach out, talk to someone. There are many who will listen.

Treat yourself as you would treat a friend. You deserve that much.

Oh, and all Raphael fans who understand kindness are welcome around me, any hour of the day, I adore our little fandom circles and would gladly collect all of us together. I'm following a lot of you as soon as I find you, like hunting shiny pokemon~

See you in Avernus, my darling Little Mice, may we all find joy in the Cambion's Embrace~

#baldurs gate 3 #raphael #bg3 raphael #villain fucker #personal reflection #analysis of the inner mind by a complete amateur #listen the thoughts get loud then I write them down darlings it happens all the time #love yourself please #you are worth more than you give yourself credit for #and keep loving those villains! it's good for you!#be kind to yourself #and be kind in the community #did this even make sense? well it's there now so tough #DMS are open for fellow fans with excellent taste~

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sailorblossoms-snowbaz · 4 months

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Baz's raised eyebrow:

(yet another "Simon identifies as 'Baz-sexual' for very good reasons' post)

few things have annoyed me more with these books than when people do not take Simon's "I don't know anything about anything but maybe I'm just a Baz-sexual" comments seriously (dismissing it with a combination of not paying attention to what he's putting down and good old confirmation bias). He even says it in less "goofy" ways with lines such as "he's the only person I have ever wanted" (in the context of thinking about having sex) (note the emphasis on ever) (yes, it's one of the clues saying he didn't want to have it with Agatha, in case it's not clear)

"Like Baz has only ever wanted Simon, Simon has only ever wanted Baz," is necessary to bring up before I get to my point here. I have seen Simon being read as in love or attracted to Agatha ("he must have been or else how they had sex?"... I mean, Simon tells you why it happened without attraction, but even if he didn't, we could make an alphabetized list of reasons it can happen without it, the desire to fit in is no joke) or the idea of Simon liking all sorts of girls, including the girl he pointedly doesn't notice despite her being obvious to others, for the sake of drama and conflict. I have wondered if they don't believe the characters, or if they find the highlighted sentence here boring. "It's boring if the characters only want each other," "in real life people want multiple people" – indeed, but not everyone is wired the same (and why are we stuck on "real life" so much anyway in stories about half-dragon and vampire boys falling in love). But it's not like this sentence is without conflict. Note Baz's eyebrow...

In CO, when Simon says Trixie is cute, Baz's reaction is a boyish "I'm going to puke" comment, which is likely part of how he dealt with jealousy and thinking Simon was straight for years: masking his feelings with "harsh" or sort of "edgy" jokes (probably not the right words to use, but getting too hung up on precise wording is the reason I never finish these posts). In awtwb, Simon calls Pippa cute, and Baz raises an eyebrow...

By those reactions, we could say the idea of Simon calling someone cute because he finds them attractive crosses Baz's mind – or is something he feels in some way, even if the thought doesn't explicitly cross his mind. It's something the reader might assume as well... however, I don't think the way Simon uses cute – which can be used in many different situations – says anything about attraction for him. I mean, a gay man can see a girl being cute or gorgeous as well – Baz certainly does! (attraction is portrayed in these books as thoughts derailed, repetition, sentences being cut off, fixating in a detail no one else notices like they do – you see it with Baz and Simon, Agatha and Niamh, Shepard and Penny. Shep doesn't just call Penny cute – he loses his entire goddamn mind for a whole page about her cuteness and her knees. It's not just a passing comment).

I don't think those scenes when Simon says "cute" is highlighting something about him, other than the fact that he's able to note cuteness. I think it's saying more about Baz's insecurities (I know I once posted something long about it somewhere...) Baz brings attention to it in a way with his reactions... because he's bothered by it. It's something that's sort of hidden and sort of contained, but it's there.

Baz doesn't find himself desirable, partly because of his vampiric nature. But part of it is also about the complicated and messy fear that perhaps... Simon has a problem with being with a man (I know I have unpacked this in other posts, finding them though...). Perhaps "a girl would be better" (It's messier with boys than with girls, it's a thought that comes out before he catches himself with "I don't actually know anything about being with boys or girls".... "I don't know anything about being in a relationship," he says, while still being able to catch there was something wrong with Agatha and Simon's relationship when Simon talks about – because Simon will process things he would rather avoid when it's about opening up to Baz, he wants Baz to know things that would help Baz understand him better, even if he himself would rather not understand... still Baz can't let go of the programming of all those years believing in the golden couple – he has spent a longer time believing that than dating Simon, after all) (Agatha is alive and beautiful, the sort of beauty that's used to "embody" "desirability".... and Baz is "not alive"...) (as a side note, have you noticed the idea – or the actual action – of sex with Agatha is used both with Simon and Baz to indicate a lack of desire toward women?)...

While Simon thinks of Baz as the only person he has ever wanted – Baz is as desirable as it gets for him – Baz struggles with feeling desirable at all. Baz doubts and wonders and has to catch himself – even if he doesn't notice he's doing that. Even if he doesn't consciously think "a beautiful girl who is alive is more preferable than me, a gay male vampire." That is a far more interesting conflict than Baz having legit reasons to be jealous, I think. The fact that he has truly nothing to feel jealous about, and yet... he just can’t help it. It's hard to go against years of programming, of going against the idea that everything about yourself is undesirable and it's better to hide it – another way he matches with Simon. They also match in their insecurities, with small differences: Baz is so amazing and attractive while Simon doesn't feel like he's good enough for him, he can do better than him, etc... while Baz clearly only has eyes for Simon, Simon feels like Baz is merely stuck with him. And the conflict here is that you think "they need to TALK and voice their thoughts for the love of god, what do you mean Baz doesn't know Simon sees him as the love of all his lives??"... talking is not enough. That Simon and Baz only have eyes for each other is not without conflict. Sometimes we need to keep hearing some things, and even then... the fears and insecurities don't go away. Especially when we have spent a really long time believing ourselves to be unwanted, undesirable, something to be hidden. When we have been exposed to things that confirmed those beliefs for longer than we have been exposed to things that challenge them

#this is an old post (that was in my drafts)#i have been feeling like letting this blog go but I'm hauted by the 30+ posts in my drafts i never finished #snowbaz #long and barely comprehensible as always #i might have lost the point along the way #simon snow #baz pitch #simon snow trilogy #carry on #baz grimm pitch #baz x simon #awtwb #wayward son

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safficranger · 2 months

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Fake Scenarios In My Head #19

Alex lets the door click quietly into the lock behind her and slips off her high heels to keep the noise down. It's late. Later than she had planned.

Casey is half sitting, half lying on the sofa, nestled comfortably in the cushions, her body tilted slightly to one side. She has a book in one hand, resting lightly on her lap, and next to her is a notepad with a pencil that seems to have been dropped carelessly. Her head is tilted sideways against the soft pillow, and her eyes are closed. The slight rise and fall of her chest show she's breathing deeply and evenly, having fallen into a peaceful sleep.

Alex takes a few steps and sits beside her on the edge of the sofa. She gently brushes a strand of hair from her face that has fallen out of her messy bun, then reaches for the book and puts it aside with the notepad.

Casey sleepily opens her eyes a little. It takes her a few seconds to focus.

"Hey, honey," Alex says softly.

"Hi." Her voice is hoarse from sleep, her lips curving into a tired smile. "I wanted to wait...sorry."

"That's all right, darling. I came home later than I expected."

"I have..." she points to the notebook.

Alex picks it up and reads. There are some handwritten notes in keywords. One line is highlighted and a page number added, followed by a capital "Alex" with an exclamation mark.

She knows Casey loves books and loves to dive deep into different worlds. She also loves to collect the best scenes, special quotes, or exciting ideas in her notes. Often, she is bubbling over with enthusiasm and eager to share it. When they are both at home, Alex regularly enjoys a detailed retelling, including an analysis of these parts of the books. Many in-depth discussions have resulted from these conversations. When Alex is not at home, Casey helps herself by writing down the scenes in her notes so that she can retell them later. It warms Alex's heart that her girlfriend thinks of her in these moments and wants to share her excitement. She's pulled Alex in more than once, even though they don't always share the same taste in genres. But most of all, she just loves listening to her girlfriend talk about things that excite her, that make her eyes light up.

"You have to read..." she sits up a little and stretches, yawning.

"I will." Alex leans over and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "But first, let's get you to bed."

"I know it's not really your thing, but..."

Alex stops her gently, "It's really late, honey, and you're dead tired. I promise I'll read it and we can talk about it in detail tomorrow." She gives her another kiss. "Thank you for thinking of me!"

Casey smiles happily. "Get ready! I have a lot to say..."

Alex laughs. "I'm looking forward to it. And I'll have coffee ready!"

They both stand, Alex supporting her girlfriend as she sleepily makes her way to the bedroom. She helps her into bed, tucking the covers around her.

As Alex watches her drift off to sleep, she feels a wave of gratitude wash over her. She quietly whispers, "Good night, my love," before changing into some comfy clothes and then heading back into the living room. With a satisfied sigh, she picks up her Casey's notes and the book she referred to, finds the right page, and begins to read.

#alex cabot #alexandra cabot #casey novak #calex #svu #law and order svu #rangerwrites #rwfs

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divine-donna · 4 months

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your desire

got inspired, so here's something for steven grant. because i love awkward autistic oscar isaac.

pairing: steven grant x gender neutral! reader

for vibes: "venus" by bananarama

you were in london for a phd program. you wanted to pursue a doctorate in art history and work with repatriation. after all, every place deserved their stuff back.

especially from the british museum.

you lived in a simple flat across from the sweetest man you've ever met: steven grant.

now, aside from how tired he was and the sometimes weird things you'd wake up to coming from his apartment, he was a good neighbor.

at one point, he even helped you unlocked your door after you had left your keys in the apartment. you rushed to get out of the apartment as fast as possible and came back near 1am without your keys.

"i didn't even know i could do that." is what he said when he successfully gets your door open. you were sure he was joking. he was being genuine.

the dating scene in london wasn't...well, the state of dating was bad in general. especially considering that half of the world literally disappeared and then came back, including your own brother. your father died thinking he was dead permanently, leaving you with a soft spot and a desire to pursue a fulfilling relationship.

why wait if you might die tomorrow? there was always another world ending event around the corner.

perhaps developing a crush on your attractive neighbor was not the way to go.

none of the people you went out with had steven's smile. had his curls. had his smile. had his nose. had his little information dumps that you adored.

but from the interactions you guys had, it seemed the destiny might be platonic. which hurt your soft, romantic heart.

you were about to retire for the night since you had class the next day. that's when you heard mumbling outside your door. peeking through the peephole, you can see the man looked downtrodden. he was holding some flowers and a box of chocolates.

you opening the door surprises him. he nearly jumps out of his skin. "(y/n)!"

"hey." you lean against the doorway and cross your arms over your chest. you were wearing some comfortable lounging clothes: a tank top and some fuzzy pants with hello kitty designs. "everything okay?"

"huh? yeah. i mean..." he purses his lips and sighs. "got stood up on a date." again.

you understood all too well. you lost count of how many dates you went on and they just didn't show up. not even a text to tell you they weren't coming, or to ask for a rain check. wasting your time. and being general dicks.

the state of dating was not it.

"i'm sorry. i'm sure there was a reason." perhaps there was. perhaps there wasn't. there was no point in thinking about it.

"yeah. well, good night!" even when upset, there was still a pep in his voice.

watching him pull out his keys made you feel...sad. you didn't want him to spend time alone.

"how about you come in for a cup of tea? that way you don't have to eat the chocolates alone."

steven turns around. there's a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you, making you melt.

"i'd like that. a lot."

you move aside to let him in and close the door behind you. he removes his shoes, setting them on the side and you take his jacket to hang it up.

steven sits at one of the seats at the kitchen island, watching you pull out your kettle and fill it with water, before placing it on a burner. you adjusted the flame to a medium.

"you want some cake? i have some left. it's lavender lemon." you ask, pulling out two mugs. you love the way his face perks up. one of them was a mug from the gift shop with an egyptology theme.

"i think i'll be fine. but it's kind of you to offer."

"okay. what about tea?"

"do you have chamomile? kind of...basic but..." he would like a sleep aid.

you don't say anything. you just smile at him and grab the box from your cabinet. you place a bag in each much, discarding the proper trash. "so...you wanna talk about it?"

steven spends the next few minutes talking about his feelings. it felt good for him to unload and vent just a little bit. he held no ill will towards his date. just some frustration about how his romantic life has hit a brick wall. something was always getting in the way of him pursuing a relationship. something was always happening. he was always screwing up. perhaps he was the problem.

in the middle, your kettle was screeching. so you turned off the burner and poured it into the mugs, letting the tea steep.

you can't help but relate. with all the people who stood you up, you wonder if you are the problem. were you that unlovable, that undatable, that people can't even tell you they weren't coming?

steven stops talking when he notices the way you're looking at him: with intensity. you look like you want to tell him something. "what is it?"

"what? you can keep going."

"you want to say something. your lip is twitching." he gestures. he takes a sip of his tea.

"well...i don't know if..."

"go on. you can say it."

you take a sip of tea before looking at him. "it's not your fault. none of it is."

steven's smile is sad. "you don't have to say that."

"i mean it. steven...i know it feels like it is. hell, i relate a lot. sometimes it feels like you're the problem because no one else wants you. but it's not your fault. i think you're...pretty cool. and amazing."

he blinks slowly, almost like a cat. he's busy just looking at you, admiring your features. your beauty. and your warmth. not many people would invite people over just to vent.

"it's all good to vent. but i also think it's important to...think of it as redirection. like my dating life sucks but my studies are going well. and i'm going to be published."

"r-really?" he watches you walk over to the record and set your mug down. you look through the vinyls and pick one.

"yeah. academically too. so i get academic validation. which isn't everything, but it's certainly nice." it was important to get your work out there. you turn the player on, place the disk, and then drop the needle.

your body movies instinctively. you recognize the synth beat, picking up your mug and moving your hips. "this was my dad's. he really like british 80s synthpop." you turn to steven and take a sip of your tea.

he was trying his best not to stare, not to watch the way your hips moved. it was mesmerizing. he wasn't one for dancing. he was not the best at following a rhythm.

you dance over to him and gently take his hand. "come on steven."

"i don't think so." he sees your pout. "okay, okay."

he gets off the stool and lets you guide him to the middle of the room.

your hips move. your body is unchoreographed. you weren't really a dancer. but you can't help yourself. you spins a few times, bathing in the casualty of it all. and unknowingly bathing in steven's love filled gaze.

you look deep into his eyes. his soft brown eyes. and your eyes glance down to look at his lips. his soft looking kissable lips.

could you be bold? could you make a move? was it appropriate to make a move? you take a sip of her tea and sets the mug down. "steven..." you bites her lip as the music keeps playing.

"y-yes (y/n)?" he could feel his cheeks warm up. especially as you step closer. your bodies are nearly touching.

you gently cup his face with one hand and pull him by his waist so his body is against yours. you could feel your own body against his. it was quite arousing.

you leans forward and kiss him softly, pulling away for a second only to kiss him again.

"i like you." you mutter against his lips.

steven doesn't know what to do. he's hesitant. because you want him. and maybe he wants you. but do you really want him? was it just the heat of the tea? or the music?

"you...you like...me?" surely there were better men. better people.

your eyes soften. "yes. i do. i like you. i like you a lot steven." the music appears to fade to a soft lull. your heart beats in your ears. perhaps you made a mistake.

"i know this is sudden. and maybe it's inappropriate considering that...you just got stood up and i invited you in my home and it seems weird and terrible honestly. and if you don't like me back that's fine. you can just tell me and i'll stop and you can go..." you begin rambling nervously. your mouth runs faster than you could comprehend.

he has to set his mug of tea down.

you stop talking when he presses a finger against your lips. he feels how soft they are. and is tempted to trace your lips with his finger. "don't...don't you dare stop."

your lips curled into a smile and he removes his finger to kiss you. his hands rest on your hips, trying to bring your bodies closer.

a small moan escapes you, feeling him grind up against you. his kisses are fervent, as if he's trying to taste you.

your back hits the edge of the tv stand, causing you to giggle. you let him kiss you, parting your lips so his tongue slides in. they dance for what feels like an eternity.

you manage to pull away and turn around so he's against the tv stand. then you tug him along, heading straight for your bedroom.

#marvel cinematic universe #mcu #moon knight #steven grant #gender neutral reader #female reader #male reader #x reader #steven grant x reader #steven grant x you #steven grant x y/n #steven grant x gender neutral reader #fluff #somewhat steamy #use your imagination

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sokkastyles · 3 months

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Hi,

Hope you are doing well. Thank you for the response on TSR. I have a question to ask on Aang.

During the practice that the Gaang has, where Aang is unable to go through with killing the practice model of Ozai because it goes against his values, and Sokka would later slice the watermelon with his sword to show how it could be done, I realized that Sokka seems to be frustrated.

I get that Aang was not going to kill Ozai, and I don't think Sokka wanted to kill him unless it was necessary, but was his frustration because of the fact that Aang is unwilling to even consider that he may have to kill Ozai, considering their best chance to stop Ozai in Day Of Black Sun was gone and now Aang will meet Ozai during Sozin's comet, where Ozai would get an extra boost. I can't help but feel that Sokka is also frustrated that Aang is bringing this up now, when the war which already has been going on for 100 years, is entering an even more dangerous phase, that could mean if Ozai isn't stopped, the Earth Nation would be gone.

I would like your thoughts on this.

Okay, I just rewatched that scene and the way it's framed is...super weird. As are all the scenes in the last few eps where Aang suddenly decides he can't do the thing the entire show has been building towards. Aang stops shortly before striking the "melon lord" and says he can't do it because he "didn't feel like himself," but...how many other times have we seen him perform moves exactly like this? Just because the show reassures us that nobody died those times, it's okay, I guess?

The thing is, the show %100 could have found a way for Aang to take out Ozai without killing him if they had wanted to. They didn't have to include this conflict where Aang gets to moralize to everyone around him, but it's so transparently done to make Aang seem morally superior. The cut away when Sokka cuts the melon in half with a cold "that's how it's done," the foreboding music, Aang's exaggerated horrified expression, and the shot of the sliced melon falling on the ground and Momo eating out of it is so weirdly grotesque, and it does Sokka a huge disservice by implying that he's bloodthirsty for wanting to see the war end. Remember Sokka in the intro, with that weary and defeated expression on his face, clinging to his sister while Katara monologued about her hope that the Avatar would return one day?

I'm sorry, I just don't buy the show's attempt to moralize about how victims of genocide are just as bad if they fight back. So if Sokka is angry, he certainly has a right to be.

#atla critical #sokka #sozin's comet

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hyunfilms · 8 months

Text

blue side of the sky (lmh) | twenty.

♡ spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: waking up after 3 months with no recollection of your past, your friends do what they can to help you remember. except, they omit an important piece to the puzzle - afraid you would remember the heartbreak and hurt all over again.

—pairing: lee know x f. reader

—genre: (18+) exes to lovers, bestfriends to lovers au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 4.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, time jump!, surprise bday celebration for jisung, alcohol consumption/intoxication, just good times and good vibes honestly, san & minho have a moment, mentions of a death anniversary, flashback scene towards the end

▹ A YEAR AND A HALF LATER ..

"Hey." You pick up the phone as Chan continues to drive off to the store. "Yeah, I'm getting them with Chan right now— you have the cake ready, right?— Minho, what do you mean you don't know if it's ready?"

"What?" Chan mouths out while letting out a small chuckle in the driver's seat. You give him a look before shrugging.

"I mean, as long as it looks good and it's edible? Ji will love it either way— we don't really have time to remake it— mm, okay—yeah, I'll try— mmkay." Chan continues to eavesdrop on the conversation until you finally end the call and let out a sigh.

"What happened this time?"

"Minho is being too much of a perfectionist over his cake. It's done but he doesn't like the way it turned out. He's contemplating on re-doing the whole thing."

"Uh." Chan looks at the clock on the dashboard. "He definitely needs to do that now or else he won't make it in time for the surprise."

"I told him I'm sure it'll be fine, but he won't let it go." You shake his head. "I guess if he really wants to make it work, he will."

"What's new? I'm not even surprised he's doing this." Chan laughs as he pulls into the store's lot. Today was Jisung's birthday, and you and your friends decided to throw him a surprise party at a nearby restaurant and bar. Many people were invited, including his parents, Yuna and Yeong-Su, close coworkers, JJ, San and their friends. All in all, it was supposed to be a big gathering to celebrate your bestfriend's birthday.

Tonight, it was all about good people, good vibes and a good times.

Seungmin had lied and told Jisung he needed his help with an urgent project at work— dragging him to the office even though Ji protested and whined about it being his birthday. Though, in true Jisung form, when a friend calls for help, he goes. So, Seungmin is currently keeping him at the office until everyone arrives and everything is set up. What project Seungmin ended up getting Jisung wrapped into, you weren't sure.

As long as it worked.

Right now, you and Chan were headed to the store to pick up the balloons and decorations, while Minho was at the café working on perfecting Jisung's cake. You've already come to know how much of a perfectionist Minho is, especially with his craft. You've seen the little tantrums he's pulled and the things he does when he isn't satisfied with his work. You aren't entirely surprised he's scraping the whole thing right before the party— you are more worried about whether he'll make it in time or not.

"I guess if all else fails, we can just have Seungmin keep him at the office until it's ready?"

"Yeah. But, he's gonna get suspicious."

"He'll be alright." You laugh a bit. Once you and Chan arrive at the shop, you gather the balloons that you've ordered at the front— Chan carefully holding the large order of balloons, while you help the staff member who is assisting you with carrying the stands you custom-ordered to go with Jisung's birthday backdrop. Loading the balloons into your uncle's old van was a challenge, but you shared a few laughs with Chan when the both of you tried adjusting the balloons in a certain position— popping a few in the middle of doing so.

"I mean, it honestly doesn't even look like we lost a few." Chan steps back to look at the balloons and you nod.

"You're right. It'll be fine." You shrug it off. "The backdrop will be the center of attention anyway." You hop into the car, Chan wasting no time to make his way over to the restaurant.

"When did you make those?"

"The backdrop and cut outs?" You look at him. "A few days ago. With my uncle's help."

"They're really nice."

"Want me to make some for your birthday?"

"Please?" You laugh and nod.

"Okay, Channie."

"Your uncle's van is bringing back memories. I didn't realize he still had it."

"Oh yeah, he refuses to sell it. Says it's still in really good shape and he could keep it around in case of emergency."

"Good times." Chan quickly looks over at you before shifting his attention back to the road. "Remember when Jisung told you about the times you went home for the weekend, and we used to come down and bother you?" You chuckle.

"Yes."

"We'd do it to see you, don't get us wrong. But we knew your uncle would take us to get ice cream at the shop and cook for us. His cooking is amazing. Can't ever turn that down for the school's food." He does a slight head tilt as he pulls into the restaurant's lot. "Wish we could go back to the good ol' days, you know? Simple times."

"You're telling me."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"How have you been feeling lately? If you don't wanna answer, that's totally fine too. You can tell me to fuck off and I won't feel offended." You chuckle.

"Good. Really good." Chan smiles as he turns down the street, the restaurant coming into view in the distance.

"Yeah? I'm glad."

"Mhm. I just feel.. happier."

"As you should." He clears his throat. "Can I ask you something else? You can really tell me to fuck off with this one if you need to." You laugh and shake your head.

"Try me."

"How do you feel about Minho after all this time has passed?"

"Hm." You hum. "I feel.. relaxed." You look at Chan. "It doesn't feel like something is weighing down on my shoulders anymore, especially since I've gotten my chance to take everything in and slowly make peace with it."

"That's good. I'm glad."

"Mmyeah. But, you know, I think we're perfect the way we are." You shrug. "I don't wanna rush or ruin anything. We just feel better letting things be as they should be. He feels like my bestfriend again.

"I get that. I'm happy you feel that way, Y/N."

"I am too." You say. He turns into the lot of the restaurant, pulling up to the entrance before putting on the hazard lights.

"Alright, well. Let me run in and let them know we're just gonna unload everything real quick." You nod, unbuckling your seatbelt when Chan runs inside the restaurant to give them a heads up.

You begin to unload most of the decorations and balloons, leaving heavier items for Chan to haul upstairs to the room you and your friends reserved. The room could sit a good amount of people if necessary, a huge tv screwed onto the back wall for all your karaoke needs. Though tonight was going to be a good group, it still gave you enough room to decorate off to the side. Once everything had been moved from the van to the room, you begin to rearrange things; having Chan help move the tables and backdrop to your liking while setting up the balloons alongside of him. By the time you finish, Yuna and Yeong-Su come strolling in, setting their things on one of the tables.

"I'm here! What can I help with?" Yuna smiles, making you squeal as you hug her and Yeong-Su tightly.

"Might need help adding these in between the balloons." You hand her some decorations and she happily takes it. "Thank you."

"Anything for you! This looks amazing already, Jisung is so lucky to have you guys. For real." You and Chan laugh and nod in agreement.

Sooner or later, more people begin to trickle in— starting with Jisung's parents, some of Jisung's close coworkers, San and JJ's friends, then Minho and JJ. Uncle Adrian shoots you a text to let you know that he'll stop by a bit after he finishes up with work, while Seungmin asks if everyone is ready.

"I think Seungmin is texting our separate group chat." Minho says, making sure the cake is sitting perfectly in the middle of the dessert table.

"I got it." You pull out your phone.

seungmin: everyone there? i'm running out of things to stall him with 😞 plus, he's working my last nerve

you: haha yes, everyone's here. you can come now!

seungmin: sweet. 15 mins tops.

So, all of you continue to hang out and chat around until Seungmin finally texts that he's just parked and about to head upstairs with Jisung. The room gets incredibly quiet, everyone afraid to take a breath as you all wait for Jisung to step through the room. You fiddle with your fingers when you hear footsteps getting a louder right outside in the hallway— Jisung immediately sliding the door open, eyes wide while he screams in fear.

"Surprise! Happy birthday!" Everyone yells loudly in their own way.

"What the fuck!" He screams, almost tripping and twisting his ankle when he steps back. "Ouch, fuck!" He continues to freak out, his eyes bulging out of its sockets. You laugh when you realize Ji is trying to make sense of what's happening, his expression mixed with utter confusion. "What is this?"

"Your birthday celebration, what do you mean?" You come to him and give him a hug, gently rubbing his back before pushing him forward into the room.

"All for me?" He questions even though he's already greeting his family and friends around the room.

"Yes!" You laugh while he points at the backdrop and balloons.

"Mine too?" You nod before Jisung points to the cake and looks at Minho. "You made that for me?"

"Yeah. Let me know which card I can charge it to." You playfully hit Minho on the chest and he laughs. "I'm kidding! Yes, I made that for you. I put my soul into that, so I hope you like it." Jisung smiles.

"He actually.. re-did the cake because he didn't like how the first one turned out this morning." You say. Jisung pulls the both of you in a tight hug.

"You guys are the best." He pulls back before reaching over for Seungmin and Chan again.

"You're welcome, pachi."

"Let's eat!" Chan rubs his tummy. "I'm hungry. Plus, we have a whole night of karaoke ahead of us."

"Sick! You're right." Jisung plops on a chair next to his family members. "I could eat."

The staff members are off to the side, ready to take orders from the separate tables. Once everyone settles, they start going around to begin with drink orders— many ordering bottles of soju and beer to get to a good level tonight. You sit in between Chan and Minho, going through the menu as you voice out what you want to Chan. He takes charge of ordering on behalf of the table, making sure every bit of Jisung's wishes are included. As soon as the alcohol and appetizers come out, everyone wastes no time getting started and digging in. Mid-way through, Jisung stands from his seat while obnoxiously tapping away at his glass— calling for everyone's attention in the room.

"Hey! One second, please?" He says loudly. "I just wanna say a few things!"

"Boo!" Seungmin teases, making Chan nudge him to be quiet.

"Yeah, whatever." Jisung flips off Seungmin, his mom tugging on the hem of his shirt as a way to silently scold him. "He did it first!" Seungmin laughs. "Anyway, I just wanna say thank you to everyone for coming out tonight to celebrate my birthday with me." He turns to you, Minho, Chan and Seungmin. "And a big thanks to my bestfriends for planning and getting this whole thing together. Really have so much love for you guys. Through thick and thin." He raises his shot glass full of soju up.

"Happy birthday, Ji." Minho is the first to break the silence and raise his glass, everyone else chiming in afterwards with a loud 'cheers!' echoing in the room.

It's not long before everyone is grubbing down, with lots of good food to go around. Uncle Adrian finally arrives, taking his seat next to Yeong-su and Minho. Minho helps serve you some food from time to time, leaning over to ask you if you need anything. Everyone seems to be tipsy while enjoying their food, and you're happy to see that Jisung is in good spirits.

That's all you wanted.

When dinner is over, the staff quickly cleans up while the group takes pictures near the backdrop and Minho cuts the cake into even pieces. You all loudly sing happy birthday to Jisung and cause a racket before Minho offers cake slices— shyly brushing off the compliments he gets even though his ears turn a bright red.

Finally, karaoke kicks off with a loud and cheerful introduction song from Jisung and Chan. Everyone has continued to drink throughout the night [besides the designated drivers], leaving most to be drunk. For the most part, everything is fun. Lively. Entertaining.

Happy.

And it takes you a moment to fully take it in, to take everything in. Uncle Adrian is enjoying himself with Jisung's parents. Your bestfriends are singing along and supporting each other on the mic. It's exactly how you pictured this night to turn out.

All good vibes.

Like there isn't a cloud in sight, like there isn't a sudden storm threatening to take over.

Finally, it all feels genuinely good.

Real.

And the thought is enough to overwhelm you because boy, have you been waiting for this moment; for the universe to give you some kind of confirmation that things will be okay from here on out. You silently excuse yourself and slip out of the room, heading straight for the rooftop patio that the restaurant gives its customers access to enjoy. You slowly breathe in the air and take steps to the railing, letting your hands hang loosely over the edge as you take in the view.

Everything felt so overwhelmingly beautiful tonight, and for some reason, it makes you long for more comfort, more love. It makes you long for your mother because you wish she could be here to see you and your friends, to see how far you've come.

You miss her, and it's the last piece left that could finally close this chapter for good and push you forward into the next part of your life.

"W-where's Y/N?" Minho hiccups, downing the last of his beer.

"I'm not sure, she walked out not too long ago, but I assumed she was going to the bathroom." Seungmin looks at the doorway. "Do you want me to find her?"

"It's good. I'll go look."

"Are you okay to?" Seungmin chuckles at how tipsy Minho is.

"Yeah, I'm good." He gives Seungmin a pursed smile before heading outside, exploring the first floor from the second floor. He doesn't see you in general, main area of the restaurant, and he's not sure why you would be there. He takes another path towards the rooftop patio.

To his relief, that's where he finds you.

You're peacefully standing at the railing, looking at the city view under the night sky. You look so content and peaceful that Minho isn't sure if he even wants to bother you. But, before he can even think twice, he finds himself taking the steps over— already eager to make sure that you're doing okay.

"Hey. You okay?" Minho comes to your side as you hang over the balcony railing with everyone having fun in the room below you.

"Yeah." You look at him with a small smile before returning your attention to the view. You can somewhat hear the muffled sounds of everyone singing loudly together to the karaoke downstairs, surely with cups in hand while they sip in between verses.

"You don't wanna sing?" Minho looks at you with hooded lids, clearly somewhat intoxicated from the alcohol they've downed in the past hours.

"Maybe later. Why don't you sing? You have a voice."

"I'm shy." You chuckle and sip on your soda. "I've been meaning to come out here to enjoy the view."

"Mm, it really is nice, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is. It's perfect tonight, too. Barely any clouds in sight."

"You're not cold?"

"No, I'm alright." You chuckle. "How are you doing there, champ?"

"I'm a few drinks in and pretty tipsy, but we're good."

"Good thing JJ's here, huh?"

"Mhm. Thank god." You let out a small giggle before looking back out at the view. It's quiet for a minute, but it's a comfortable silence. And it feels nice to be this way around Minho again. It took some time for you to get used to things after everything happened, but Minho never pressured you and let you gradually come back on your own terms, at your own comfort. He, of course, continued to keep a good distance. Though, it has been hard for him to. He still gets sudden urges to brush the hair away from your face, to swing his arm around your shoulder, to kiss you on the forehead.

But, he lets it pass. Because after all the fuck-ups he's made, after all the shit he's put you and your friends through, he wants to take this chance to show you better.

To be your bestfriend above anything.

To prioritize you and stop neglecting you, your needs.

To bring back the gold that you hold in your eyes.

"Minho."

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Actually, I think this might be the wrong time to do this." You look at him and smirk. "You're tipsy."

"Kinda, yeah." You snort. "But, try me."

"I wanna see my mom." Minho slowly nods and looks out at the view. "Her death anniversary is coming up, and I wanna see her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I am." You give him a tiny, pursed smile. "I'm ready. Do you think you can bring me to her?"

"Yeah." He responds softly. "We can go. Just let me know if you're sure."

"There's something else."

"Hm?"

"I think—" You let out a shaky breath. "I think I wanna see my childhood home, too."

"Oh." Minho looks at you. "Are you 100% sure about that?"

"It'll help give me closure." He nods. "I guess? I see the pictures but I can't help but continue to wonder what life was really like in that home. I wish I could remember."

"I understand." Minho clears his throat. "Mm, yeah. I can do that for you."

"Really?"

"Mhm." He lets out a small sigh. "Just promise me you'll be okay?"

"I will be. I need to do this and just.. move on."

"Okay." Minho gently nudges you with a small smile. "I know it isn't too cold, and it's super nice to be away from loud, drunk people." You chuckle and shake your head. "But, do you wanna head in? I'm sure Jisung, Chan and Seungmin are looking for you."

"Yeah, we can head in." Minho taps the railing. Before he could fully turn around, you place your hand on his arm— gently forcing him to stop in his tracks. "Wait, Minho."

"What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

"It is. But, I just wanna say thank you. For agreeing to take me."

"Y/N, it's not a problem. I'll do anything for you, whatever it is." You wrap your arms around his neck to give him a tight, meaningful hug. You breathe in his scent, taking in every bit of him, when he wraps his arms around your waist and gives you a gentle squeeze.

"I appreciate it a lot." You say softly before pulling away. You give him a tiny smile with a curt nod before heading back towards the karaoke room— Minho trailing behind you with his hands dug deep into his pockets. You take another pause before turning back to him, noticing that Minho's eyes have never left you. "You know, tonight went really well. I think we make a good team." Minho licks at his lips.

"Y-yeah." He nods. "Yeah, we do. We always do." Suddenly, you hear someone else come up to the patio, causing you to shift your attention towards the stairs. San stands there, awkwardly cracking his knuckles as he lets out a small chuckle.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted to see if you were okay, plus get some air." He points up.

"I'm good. Thanks, Sannie." You give him a tiny, toothless smile. "We were heading back inside—"

"Actually, Y/N you can head in first. I'll meet you there." Minho says, hands still in his pockets, eyes landing on San.

"O-oh, okay. I'll see you guys in there then." San nods, walking towards the railing to look at the view. Minho follows and stands next to him, arms lazily resting on the bar as well. It's silent for awhile, the both of them taking in the city lights, the distant sounds of car horns and the train passing by, the planes flying up ahead. San really just needed a breather, but if Minho wanted to talk, he'd let it happen.

After all, they haven't really done so after everything. Not that either of them owed it to each other, but the last thing San wants is for Minho to think there's bad blood or that he has something against him. He doesn't.

And Minho doesn't either.

"If you keep heading down this street and turn at that corner, there's this really good restaurant that serves tteokbokki. It's a small place, but they sell a huge serving for cheap. It's an old couple that runs the place. We used to go there a lot with Uncle Adrian." Minho randomly says to break the silence.

"I always appreciate a good tteokbokki spot."

"They told me Y/N's mom used to take her there often, especially to cheer her up when she had a bad day. It was like their tradition, so Uncle Adrian kept it alive after she passed." Minho lets out a small breath, rubbing his hands together. "Y/N misses her."

"Is everything okay?" San asks.

"Mm, yeah."

"With Y/N?"

"I think so. She just told me she wants to see her mom and her childhood home."

"Maybe she's finally ready."

"Her mom's anniversary is coming up. She asked me to take her."

"That's good. At least you can be there with her." San turns to him. "How are things between the both of you, by the way?"

"We're good." Minho looks down at his hands before returning his attention to San. "We're definitely better than before, and the time has been good to us. Especially her."

"It seems like things are more peaceful for her."

"Yeah, and I don't want to ruin that. I think I've done enough to her." Minho shakes his head a bit, moreso an action directed towards himself. "I just want her to be genuinely happy. That's all I care about."

"Despite everything that's happened, I know she cares about you a lot, and I know she cherishes the good moments you had together."

"I owe it to you."

"Me?" San points to himself and Minho lets out a small chuckle.

"I just.. never got to say thank you. You know? For being there for her when I wasn't. For helping take care of her."

"You don't have to thank me."

"I do, and I genuinely want to. Having you close helped her a lot. I know she cares about you, too." San gives him a small smile before looking out at the view. "I've just been wanting to tell you that. I just wasn't sure how or when."

"All good. I'm glad you guys are doing better. That's all I wanted for you guys, too. Whatever is meant to happen in the future, just know she wouldn't wanna do it without you by her side." Minho returns the small smile.

"Anyway. Should we head back inside? The party's probably dying without us."

"You're right." San laughs as he walks alongside of him.

Upon entering earlier, you noticed that much hasn't changed since you stepped out to take a breather. Jisung drunkly threw an arm around you as he continued to sing loudly into the mic, eventually shoving it your way for you to take your turn. You tried to shake your head and crawl your way out of it, but Jisung guilt-tripped you by telling you he needed you to sing a song before the night ended and that you needed to do this for his birthday. You end up doing a little duet with Seungmin before passing the mic over to Chan to take over. Eventually, both San and Minho walk back in to join the party; singing along to the current song playing. When you glance at Minho happily singing along into the mic that has now landed in his hands, you give him a smile; happy to finally feel good around him after the things that have happened.

Tonight, you'll continue to enjoy yourself around your friends and good company.

Tonight, things feel perfect.

Tonight, things feel like the old times Jisung would talk about.

At least, you could give him that for his birthday.

☁︎ FLASHBACK | FRESHMAN YEAR IN COLLEGE

"Babe, hurry! He's gonna wake up." You whisper harshly as Minho struggles to light the last candle on Jisung's cake.

"He's gonna wake up? Are you serious?" You laugh seeing Minho's face.

"Okay, you're right. But, still!"

"Sometimes he doesn't even move at all when I come in to wake him up, and it kinda scares me." Seungmin whispers as Minho finally lights the last candle before carefully scooping it into his hands. The three of you laugh, trying to hold it in to prevent any excess noise. "Okay, let's go." Chan leads the way into Jisung and Minho's dorm suite, holding the door open for him with a balloon in the other hand. You and your friends walk up to the edge of Jisung's bed, finding your positions as soon as the clock hits midnight.

"Happy birthday Pachi!" You yell, the boys singing happy birthday next to you. Jisung shoots up from his bed, hair messy and all.

"What the fuck is happening?" He mumbles, voice husky as he's pulled straight from his sleep.

"It's your birthday, punk! Make a wish!" Chan says, all of you cheering him on while he rubs his eyes.

"So loud. I can't even see." He struggles to open his eyes.

"Make a wish!" You edge the cake closer to him, waiting for Jisung to make his wish and finally blow out his candles. You clap and cheer for him, continuing to sing him happy birthday even as he sleepily bounces along in his bed. Minho sets the cake aside and starts to cut it with a plastic knife, while Seungmin turns on the bathroom light to illuminate part of the room just enough for everyone to see what they're doing. Minho hands everyone a small slice— Chan eating on the edge of Jisung's bed, Seungmin sitting on Minho's desk chair, and Minho on Jisung's desk chair while you sit on his lap.

"Thanks guys." Jisung finishes his cake, hair still messy and all over the place. "Seriously, best birthday so far."

"What'd you wish for?" Seungmin asks, making Jisung glare at him.

"Why on earth would I tell you that?" Jisung laughs.

"We're friends, I'm sure it'll come true no matter what."

"Hm." Jisung pouts a bit. "I just want us to be friends for as long as we possibly can."

"Is that what you wished for?"

"Yes." Chan laughs.

"Swear?"

"Yes, I mean it!"

"Liar. That's a no brainer."

"I really do want us to be friends for a long time. I appreciate you guys more than anything."

"Aw, Ji. Of course." You pinch his cheek. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you." He smiles at you and Minho before taking a quick swig of water. "Can I get back to sleep now? We can do whatever later on, just wanna sleep a bit more though." You laugh and nod, taking some foil to wrap around the cake.

"Okay, birthday boy. But, we'll be back later to celebrate some more." Jisung is already laying back down at this point, so he throws a thumbs up in the air. Chan and Seungmin quietly bid their farewell's and goodnight's before walking back to their room. After you clean up around Jisung's area, you step outside of the room with the cake in your hands while Minho zips up his jacket and shuts their door close.

"I'll walk you back to your room."

"Thank you." You smile at him. "We make a pretty good team, don't we?" You playfully pinch his cheek.

"Yeah, we do."

☁︎ END

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