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#i have to keep telling myself he has his faults too
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Gavin x Reader Part 6!
Morning nuzzles before breakfast…
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I had a request to post an update and I had only a bit of editing left so here we go, I hope this brightens your day!
co-written with CheshireCatSmile
@kus-babygirl @shirley-girly @jynx15 @everchar-of-the-shire @scraftsku35
@vavafaure1994 @deathlesun @sickforbillybutcher @butchers-girl @hippo2211
@bohemianblasphemy
karl urban masterlist
direct link to part 1
part 5
warning: very brief mention of past bad relationship
6.
Gavin shifts to start unzipping his sleeping bag. You move a little so he can take yours too and zip them together, shivering again, but this time because of the cooling air. “And you’re sure you don’t mind I come with a whole truck load of baggage?” you ask. It wasn’t your plan to get involved with anyone but it feels so good to have someone actually seem to care about you. But you don’t think you can handle being hurt again.
"I have baggage myself. I usually rush headlong into everything, but...this…I want to build something special. If you do, too.”
You nod and bite your lip. You know there’s so much more to him than what he thinks and you’ve always admired his determination and strength, even if he made mistakes in the past. Some never do anything for themselves and only tear others down and in your opinion that’s far worse than his faults. The rain is still tapping on the tent and nothing sounds better than curling up with him. When the sleeping bags are joined, you slip in and stretch out, watching him, and not minding the glimpse of his strong masculine legs as he moves around.
He slides into the sleeping bag beside you zipping it up so you're both inside tucked away cozy and warm. He has an innate heat coming from him and you can't help but be drawn to it. When he gathers you into his arms you can't help just melting against his body. 
"I can't believe how perfectly you fit against me,” he murmurs low and soft.
You bury your face against the soft henley covering his broad chest, making a quiet little sound. He’s right. Nothing has ever felt like this before. You want to say something back but you’re already drifting off and within a few moments you’ve fallen asleep. At first you’re not sure what disturbs you, but then you realize a low roll of thunder from off in the distance sparked a nightmare that woke you and for a second you can’t remember where you are as your body jerks awake.
Gavin’s arms tighten around you and he murmurs, his voice gruff with sleep. "It's alright sweetheart; you're safe. Just a bad dream. I've gotcha."
You blink rapidly in the dark, but Gavin’s low voice makes you remember immediately where you are. You take a breath. Safe, in his arms. And he feels so good. You close your eyes but your heart is still beating fast and you know it’s going to take a minute before it starts to slow.
"That thunder's just gettin’ to you, that's all." Soon the rain starts a steady drumming on the tent's thick canvas roof.  His large warm hand begins rubbing your back soothingly.  "I can still feel your heart pounding sweetheart. You don't need to worry. I'll keep you safe.” You can feel his breath warm and ruffling your hair lightly.
His hand on your back feels so good. You feel like you already know him so well and know you’re safe with him. After awhile you fall asleep easily again and sleep better than you have in years. When you wake, your face is buried against the curve of his neck and before you realize what you’re doing in your half asleep state, you nuzzle there softly against his skin.
A low hum comes from deep in his throat and he tightens his hold on you again, dragging you close to his body.  "Mmm...that feels good. darlin’. A sweet thing to wake up to." He rubs at your back again then rests his hand on your hip, squeezing softly, steady and warm.
You freeze for a moment as you wake fully and realize what you’re doing. Slow. Slow, you tell yourself again. With 5 more days of this trip left alone with him though you have a feeling that is not going to happen. Every part of him feels so good and you feel like if that big, strong hand started sliding under your shirt right now you would be nothing but exuberant. 
Carefully you shift back a little so you’re not completely on top of him and take a breath of the crisp morning air trying not to think about the two of you naked in this sleeping bag. But suddenly you remember what had happened during the night. Your cheeks heat as you think about how silly it was to have nightmares and be scared of thunder. “Sorry about last night,” you murmur softly. “My ex broke in once, before I moved…so sometimes I’m a little on edge at night, I guess.”
He's quiet for a long moment. "That's awful. I didn't realize how much you'd been through. No woman should have to live with that kind of fear. You certainly don't need to apologize." He presses his lips against your forehead in a tender kiss.
Your eyes sting with his kindness, it’s overwhelming to you and you don’t really know why you told him that, suddenly feeling very vulnerable. You nod mutely and take a breath then slip away from him to stretch tight muscles. “I suppose we should get going.”
He catches your eyes with his own as you look up at him. There's still a myriad of emotions there but something you recognize as…respect? "I can't believe what it must have taken to pull yourself together and pick up to start a new life someplace completely different. That's incredibly brave."
You shrug a little but a small smile tugs at your lips. “I didn’t really have a choice. So I just kept going. But thank you.” His hazel eyes swirl with color and you could get lost there forever if you let yourself.
“You're among friends now. And we don't take kindly to anyone trying to hurt one of our own."  He glances up at the top of the tent. I suppose you're right...we should get going while we have a break in the weather." He looks back at you and smiles softly then tucks your hair behind your ear gently.
For a moment all you can think about is pulling him back into bed on top of you, but instead you turn your head to kiss his palm. “What’s for breakfast?”
He chuckles as he shifts to unzip the sleeping bags.  "A girl who keeps sight of the important things in life." He gets up from the warm fabric and quickly pulls his jeans on. "I'll go get coffee started."
In a short time, as you're pulling yourself together for the day, you smell the heavenly scent of coffee wafting into the tent.  "Breakfast will be ready in a few minutes, " he calls into the tent.
You pull your sweatshirt on and shift to climb out of the tent. Sitting in the open doorway, you pull your boots on and look up to find Gavin crouched by the fire, his jeans molded around his ass and you end up staring as you tie your laces until suddenly your stomach grumbles.
He looks over his shoulder grinning at you. "Sounds like last nights dreams worked up an appetite." He beckons you over to the fire and hands you a plate with pancakes and bacon and you wonder how the heck he managed that and coffee too so quickly.
“Oh my gosh,” you smile. “How did you do all this?” He pours some syrup over your pancake and you take a big bite, humming appreciatively. It’s really good. “It’s amazing Gavin, you’re going to spoil me…”
He smiles at you. "Maybe it's time you had some of that in your life." He sits down beside you and takes a bite of his own pancake. Even the campfire coffee is good. His leg is just barely brushing yours as you sit beside each other.
“Mmmm I love bacon…” you murmur, and he’s cooked it perfectly, crisp and hot. Then you pick up your camp mug and sip the dark coffee slowly, savoring then flavor on your tongue. “You better be careful or I might just show up at your house every morning,” you joke.
"Now that's a pleasant thought," he chuckles and winks at you. He's quiet then for a moment. He looks at the fire and says softly, "Though it was nice having you in my arms when I woke up this morning." The way his voice drops low makes you want him with every fiber of your being.
“It was very nice,” you agree, a little breathless. “Except for the thunder I don’t remember the last time I slept that well.” Your mind drifts back to the night before, him pulling you close and kissing you like he couldn’t get enough. You wonder if you can get a replay of it tonight.
Breaking your thoughts, he leans toward you and steals a quick, soft kiss before getting up to quickly take care of the breakfast dishes. He pours the last of the coffee into your mug and smiles at you then continues with his task, drying everything and putting it away in his pack. “I'm going to take the tent down, you just enjoy your coffee."
“Gavin, really, you should have at least let me clean the dishes,” you sigh softly knowing that’s going to be an argument you’re going to lose. But you figure you might as well accept it for now and settle back to enjoy watching him. “I owe you one.”
"I'll keep that in mind," he says with a charming grin that causes his dimple to show. He's so efficient tearing down the tent and packing everything away in his pack. You at least rinse your cup and dry it off to hand to him before gathering up the few things you still have to pack.
It’s not long before you are all packed up and you head out a bit further to survey more of the land that will be part of the cut and then off to the west so you can document the saplings from 3 years ago. It was late midday when the clouds started to roll in again. “Maybe we should have headed to our next camping spot sooner,” you comment, but you really wanted to get all that work done.
"Yeah...there was another area a little farther in I wanted to take a look at too. If you don't mind spending a little extra time...I know you probably have work piling up. But if it’s okay with you?"  He studies you a moment then walks over and adjusts your pack on you so the weight is more even.
“Oh, I don’t mind at all. We have our raincoats after all. I should be able to get a cell signal at the cabin to answer a few emails, but I won’t have any trouble catching up on work when we get back. I know you wanted to make some repairs at the cabin as well and I can work on the reports.”
"Okay, that sounds great. Ready?" He caresses your cheek softly before turning to start up the trail. After hiking steadily for about half an hour he stops and pulls an old map out of a pocket and studies it a moment. "I think it's this way," he catches you when you start off too quick and stumble over an old root system from the ancient adjoining trees. He holds onto you a little longer than absolutely necessary then makes sure you have your footing and starts off again.
This time he takes your hand in his, warm and strong and steady and you almost melt. You walk for a little bit longer until he finds the spot but you realize you are near a ridge and you go over to find an amazing view over a valley of evergreens below.
"It's beautiful isn't it? Now...I think there's a meadow...oh, right here! It should be right...oh my God, it's real!"  
~.~.~.~
Next up: a little bit of magic enhances the romantic atmosphere ❤️ Let me know what you think!
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serendipetite · 2 years
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i just want to be even a fraction as good and as sweet as jimin is and i worry i never will be
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heartshattering · 5 months
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Feeling like I want to give up again...
#now it's my dad who's deciding to be a jerk towards me because he's mad at my mom#okay that's cool I guess#I haven't been feeling well at all today#I can't even distract myself#my dad's being so dramatic too like it's not my fault he's on a break from work but still doing stuff he could probably get out of doing#but he wants to be away from me and my mom so. I get it#he's never at home even when he's supposedly on a break from his job lol#this is how my mom and I know he's lying about retiring#because he's always putting it off#he was supposed to retire this year but nope#if he doesn't have his job he has no excuse to get out of the house and he hates being around us#Goddddd#he is such a fucking hypocrite#getting mad at me over something he has also done before and then saying it was fine when HE did it because it was 'months ago already'#(dropping something except in his case he actually SHATTERED it lmao)#but yeah... me dropping something without breaking it is WORSE than him dropping and actually breaking it...#wow#amazing logic#then my dad keeps complaining about how we don't care. when he's the one who proves over and over again that he's the one who doesn't care#I forget what they're called but he's the parent type who doesn't get involved in anything#he's never stood up for me and he's watching me rot and hurt myself and he's just like 'oh okay as long as it doesn't involve me idc'#he's not fucking stupid like he can tell there's shit clinically wrong with me but not once has he acted like an actual parent towards me#and yeah I'm an adult now but it's still fucked me up so badly#he is such a fucking coward#and selfish#if he could drop me and my mom somehow I know he would at the drop of the hat#but remember he's a coward so. I know he fucking won't#God this is making my urges get bad again#I'm crying 'cause I'm just so fucking pathetic :')
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nebulaafterdark · 3 months
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The Rats Pt. 4
Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon(Strong)!Reader
Summary: Aegon attempts to make peace with Rhaenyra after being forced to usurp her throne. Lucerys’ death complicates things.
18+ ONLY, MDNI. Targcest, smut, child birth, angst, violence. S2 SPOILERS
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
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“What is the meaning of this?” Rhaenyra cannot imagine what might cause such commotion in the middle of the night.
“The dragon keepers have just calmed Sunfyre, who’s been having a fit for the better part of three hours.” Daemon informs her.
“Why is this news?” Rhaenyra wonders, “you needed only to wake Prince Aegon so that he might calm his own dragon.”
“That was my intention, your grace.” Daemon assures her, “until it was brought to my attention that Stormborn had been taken from the pit.”
“Where is she now?”
“Her grace’s dragon has since been returned to the pit.”
“Where is my daughter now?” Rhaenyra asks.
The room falls silent, everyone glancing toward one another.
“We believe the princess to be abed.”
“Not one of you thought to make certain?” The Queen all but shouts, panic coursing through her.
“We thought it best not to disturb the princess while she is abed, your grace.” Not without permission from the queen herself…certainly not after the last time.
Prince Aegon was in quite a state, threatening to castrate any member of the royal guard who happened upon his beloved wife in the throes of passion.
“Never you mind, I will see to her myself.” The Queen stalks down to her daughter’s room, pounding at the door.
It is Aegon who answers, “Rhaenyra?”
“I need to see her.”
Aegon hesitates, looking to his wife, who nods her approval. “She’s just there.” He takes a step back, allowing his half sister entry.
Y/N sits upon her bed in a pristine blush sleeping gown, hair still damp from the bath. “Mother.”
“Tell me the truth of it.” Rhaenyra approaches, hovering over her bedside. “Where were you this night?”
“With Aegon.”
Rhaenyra steals herself, “where were you whilst Sunfyre was howling in the pit? I know you took Stormborn, I have it on good authority. Tell me now, Y/N, where did you go?”
“To Harrenhal.”
Rhaenyra blanches, clutching her chest. “Why?” She sobs, “why would you do such a thing, knowing the risk?”
“Mother, I-”
“I have lost two of my children, I will not survive the loss of a third.”
“I have not done this to harm you, mother. But I am tired of being in pain. You’ve no idea how it feels to be tugged at by opposing sides, until you are torn down the middle.”
“Sweet girl,” Rhaenyra sighs.
“I understand why you needed Aegon and I to marry. I do not fault you for it, but times are different now. I love him, mother. Not for the crown, or the realm, or even peace. He is one half of me.”
“I wish you’d come to me, instead of facing all these troubles alone. I will always be your mother, no matter if you are a woman grown, you will not outgrow my love for you so long as I live.”
Y/N nods. “I love you dearly, mother. I want only to make you proud.”
“I am proud.” Rhaenyra assures her, “you needn’t prove yourself to me.”
“Then might I ask you to set a place for my husband at your table? Say it is not too late.”
“And what of Aemond?” Rhaenyra asks, mulling it over.
“He is gone.”
“Are you hurt?”
“Yes.” Y/N whispers.
“Show me.”
Y/N lifts her nightgown to reveal the charred skin of her wound.
“Alright,” Rhaenyra lowers the material once she’s gotten a good look. She kisses the top of her daughter’s head, “we will have the maester come with salve to dress it.”
Y/N nods.
“Have you taken anything for the pain?”
“Milk of the poppy.”
Rhaenyra’s hand is trembling as it passes over her daughter’s hair a second time. “Aegon, might you bring the maester?”
“Of course,” he nods. Stealing himself before wandering down the hall and away from his beloved wife. Returning with the maester, who begins tending the wound immediately.
“Is there anything else I might get you?” Rhaenyra asks, keeping hold of her daughter’s hand.
Y/N is mostly joking when she murmurs to her mother, “cake?”
Rhaenyra smiles, “I will see to it.”
Y/N relaxes as best she can to the poking and prodding.
“Aegon,” Rhaenyra nods toward the hall, “a word?”
“Of course,” Aegon follows her out.
“I owe you a debt, for taking care of my daughter. Y/N is the world to me, as she is to you.” Rhaenyra says. “Know that as I walk this path to reclaim the throne, we do so hand in hand. We are one house, as our father so willed it.”
Aegon nods, “thank you.”
————————————————————————
Years ago, after the council meeting where Princess Rhaenyra and Queen Alicent agreed to the terms of their children’s betrothal; King Viserys himself called for Prince Aegon and Princess Y/N in his quarters.
It is put plainly before them, what is expected. What this union is meant to do; ease the strain between their two families.
“Stand together.” The king insists.
Y/N and Aegon inch toward each other.
“This will be expected of you from now on. You are betrothed, you will act as such.”
“Yes, father.”
“Yes, grandsire.”
At dinners they sit together, during shared lessons, anytime they are in the same room.
Stand together.
The princess continues her training alongside Helaena while her brothers and her betrothed argue regularly. The boys only find common ground when teasing Aemond for not having a dragon.
Queen Alicent appreciates these childish games least of all and raises her concerns with the King.
It is Y/N, having the least to do with any of it, who is summoned by her grandsire and his wife.
“Come sit, darling girl.” Viserys smiles, guiding Y/N over to his model of Old Valyria.
She nods, “thank you, your grace.”
“How are you enjoying your studies?”
“Very well,” Y/N tells him.
“I am glad to hear it. Even the septa has nothing but good things to say. You will make a fine queen, my girl.”
Y/N breathes a sigh of relief. “It pleases me to hear you say this, Grandsire. I wish only to make you proud.”
Viserys takes her hand, “surely you understand that you are a reflection of your mother and myself, in your actions and your words.”
“Yes, of course.” Y/N squeezes his fingers.
“The time has come for you to consider those whose actions reflect on you.”
“I do not understand.”
“He is referring to your brothers, who wreak havoc on the whole of us.” Alicent chimes in.
“Oh, Alicent.” Viserys waves her away, “they are boys yet. I meant our Aegon.”
“Aegon?” Alicent scoffs, “those are the actions that trouble you?”
“He will soon be a man grown and future king consort. If he is to marry my granddaughter, he must act with dignity and grace.”
“Do you not see the true issue, your grace?” Alicent demands.
“You asked me to speak with Rhaenyra’s children,” Viserys reminds her, “is this not Rhaenyra’s child?”
Alicent locks eyes with Y/N, she is so young, so eager to please her family. “This child is not the issue.”
“You are correct, dear wife.” The king grins, “she is the solution. Y/N, you will go to Aegon, say what you must to light a fire beneath him. So that he too might behave in a manor befitting his station. Do you understand?”
“Yes, your grace.”
“Good,” Viserys releases her, “go now.”
Y/N stands, making her way to the door.
“See how easy that was?” Viserys turns to his wife, now standing with her back to him.
Y/N has some trouble locating the Prince, eventually she happens upon him on the stairs. “Prince Aegon,” she calls his attention.
The boy rolls his eyes at her. “Yes, my betrothed.”
“Might you walk with me to the gardens?”
“Do I have any choice?”
Y/N smirks, with a shake of her head. “No.”
“By all means, lead the way.” Aegon waves a hand, following her like an animal on a chain.
“The king and I had a rather illuminating conversation earlier.”
“And what did you discuss? How elated he is to seat you, a bastard, on the iron throne over me, his first born son?” Aegon cocks his head to the side.
“No, though I am sure he will be ‘elated’ to hear that his first born son called me a bastard, in the middle of the garden, for everyone to hear.”
Aegon clears his throat, “I would not say it in front of anyone.”
"This place is crawling with vermin, their eyes and ears are upon us at all times."
"You mean to tell me we have rats?"
"Not everything can be taken so literally, my prince."
Aegon stares through her, every word going over his pretty blonde head.
"Look, there's your father now." Y/N points, "watching us from his balcony."
Aegon whips around, spotting the king.
"Smile and wave, let him believe we are having a grand time."
Aegon does as he's told, earning a nod from Viserys. "Are we not?"
True to his word, Aegon does not call her a bastard again, to her face or behind her back. When Aemond’s eye is lost, the truth of it comes out.
Y/N and Aegon begin moving closer, behind Aemond’s chair. Stand together. Perpetually closing the space between their two houses.
When Alicent scolds Aegon for not protecting his brother, Y/N is near enough to receive a second hand lashing by her tongue. And when his mother’s palm meets his cheek, in a stinging slap, his hair brushes Y/N’s skin.
“What was that for?”
“That was nothing compared to the abuse your brother suffered while you were drowning in your cups, you fool.”
“The legitimacy of my children’s births were called loudly to question.” Rhaenyra informs the king. “Vile insults were levied against them.”
“What insults?” Viserys sneers.
“He called us bastards.” Jacaerys says.
“Where did you hear such things, boy?” The king demands of the injured prince.
Aemond is quiet then, not willing to tell the truth. He first heard it from his mother, long before his brother. But Aegon has said it, many a time, before he abruptly stopped. “It was Aegon.”
Viserys rounds the chair, to confront his eldest son, with his eyes cast downward.
By the gods, let this humiliation end swiftly.
“Aegon!”
Stand together.
Y/N must not abandon her post.
“Yes, father.”
“Is this true?”
“It is.” Aegon admits, “and I am sorry for it. I am the elder, I should not have poisoned Aemond’s mind with such hatred. Especially as…these allegations are untrue. It was my mistake, forgive me.”
King Viserys takes a step back, “the next tongue to question the parentage of Princess Rhaenyra’s children will be removed.”
Y/N lets out a shuttering breath, catching her grandsire’s attention.
He offers her a reassuring smile, after threatening to cut out his children’s tongues. It feels wrong to be treated so differently, standing inches apart.
When the preceding is at an end, and Rhaenyra’s blood has been split, Y/N goes to find Aegon. He is tucked in against the grand archway, drowning in cups. "I brought you more wine."
Aegon eyes her warily, accepting the glass, “and what do you want?"
"May I sit with you?"
"If you wish."
Y/N takes a seat on the cool, stone floor beside him. "Thank you, for saying what you did.”
"My mother did not appreciate it."
Y/N hesitates, "I know it is not my place, but I do not like when she strikes you. Perhaps I could discuss it with your father?”
"My father? Who loves me least of all his children?" Aegon shakes his head. "A lot of good that would do.”
"They should not treat you that way."
“You care for me," he realizes. The thought alone makes his stomach turn.
"Should I not?”
"I would not know how to care for you in return."
"You defended me, in front of both our families.” Y/N challenges. “If that is not caring for me, I don't know what is."
Aegon feels the weight of her head resting against his shoulder, and he does not pull away.
"I am sorry for what happened to Aemond. I hope he finds peace and swift healing."
"If it were either of your brothers who’d been maimed, my father would pluck out Aemond’s eye himself and present it to Rhaenyra on a platter. There is no peace in that.”
Aegon becomes fiercely protective of his brother after that.
Y/N does not fault him for it.
The debacle of Driftmark sets their nuptials back several years. The blacks and greens remain in negotiation until Aegon is twenty and one and Y/N is ten and eight. At which point, Viserys proclaims they must either marry before the moon turns, or end the engagement to free both their hands for marriage.
Reluctantly, they are bound before the eyes of thousands.
Stand together.
They recite traditional Valyrian vows, sealing their covenant in blood. Sharing a dance or two before being whisked away to consummate said marriage, as other members of the wedding party drink merrily in the grand hall.
————————————————————————-
“Are they gone?” Y/N asks, toying anxiously with her wedding ring.
“They have strict orders,” Aegon sighs, “the appointed members of council cannot leave until they’ve heard a proper consummation.” He climbs into bed with her, both fully dressed in their marriage attire.
“We best get to it then.” Y/N begins plucking pins from her hair. The tapestry of braids falling free.
“Unless you’d rather have a bit of fun.”
“How do you mean?”
Aegon grins, “we could pretend.”
“Really?”
“This marriage is ours, no one else’s. When I bed you that will be ours and no one else’s.”
Stand together.
“How would we-”
Aegon rises up on his knees, gripping the headboard. “I will do the heavy lifting. Just lie back and think of the crown.”
Y/N covers her face with both hands as he begins thrusting at the air. The springs beneath them groan and crackle.
Aegon peeks down at her to find a smile painted across her lips, despite her shielded eyes. “Let them hear you, sweetheart. Make it believable.”
Y/N nods, releasing a sound she imagines a person might make while exchanging intimacies.
“Not like that.” Aegon chuckles, “they’ll think I’m murdering you.”
“I do not know how.”
“Have you never touched yourself?” He breathes.
“Never.”
Gods, he’s going to enjoy her. “That’s alright,” he continues his movements to jostle the mattress. “Just do as I do.” Aegon lets his mouth fall open, releasing a low moan.
The sound that escapes Y/N in return is not entirely forced. It makes her belly burn with desire.
They continue on like this for a while before Aegon murmurs, “big finish.”
“So quickly?” Y/N’s brow furrows.
Aegon’s eyes flicker about her, “I can’t imagine it will take long.”
As the grand finale comes to a close, Aegon makes for his dagger. Slicing his finger at the tip and allowing blood to pool before dragging the crimson stain across the bed sheet. He strips it from the bed, walking it to the door. “Deliver this to her majesty the Queen. I know she is impatiently waiting.”
Y/N begins pacing, beside the bed.
“They are gone. We are alone.”
She nods, “thank you, Aegon. For all of it.”
————————————————————————-
When Aegon does eventually bed her, it is well worth the wait.
“By the gods, that is not going to fit inside me.”
Aegon huffs a laugh, “I promise it will, darling girl. We must prepare you first.”
“How,” Y/N squeals.
He hushes her, lying open mouthed kisses across her collarbones.
“Will it hurt?”
“Not if I can help it.” He plans to burying his face between her thighs and bring her to the heavens. But the sweet little thing wants only to be held, kissed. Aegon lies beside her, one hand stroking her dark hair, the other moving down to her breasts, kneading them gently.
“You are beautiful,” he breathes.
“As are you.” She pants, moving her lips against his.
Aegon chuckles, “flattery will get you places.” He rolls her nipple between his fingers, flicking over it with the pad of his thumb.
Her hips rise of their own accord, grinding herself against his entwined leg.
“Slowly, my darling.”
Y/N nods, kissing him again to distract herself from the building ache between her legs.
Feather light caresses trail down to her sex, collecting a bit of wetness and slipping a finger into her heat. Pumping slowly, getting her used to the sensation.
“That feels nice.” She breathes, tugging at his hair.
Aegon smiles, “can you take another?”
“Yes.”
Aegon adds a second digit, working her open, pushing a bit deeper to her sweet spot. His fingers curl against it, relishing her little gasps. The princess is close now.
“Ahh,” she grasps his forearm.
“I know, sweetheart, I know.”
“I-”
“Don’t cry.” By the seven, she is gripping his fingers like a vise.
“I cannot help it.” Her thighs tremble in earnest now.
“That is your peak, darling girl. You’re alright, I promise.” He continues stroking, pressing the base of his hand flush with her swollen pearl, applying gentle pressure until she finds bliss. He pets at her hair as she cries out. “Good girl,” he coos, working her through the crest and bringing her back down.
“That was heavenly,” she sighs, steadying her breathing.
You are heavenly.
“Might we do it again?”
Aegon chuckles, “as many times as you’d like.”
————————————————————————
In the early days of their marriage, Aegon realizes that his wife has a nasty habit of bedding him and waiting until he finds sleep to sneak off. Holding after hours council with her mother.
The practice itself does not upset him, but this night, her absence is especially troubling, as they have been drinking since dinner. His sweet wife is not well versed in wine drinking. She laughed so hard she cried and then rode him to kingdom come.
Aegon tosses back the covers, pulling on his clothes and moving quickly through the halls of the keep. He rounds the nearest corridor, colliding with his wife, running at full speed. “Sweetheart?”
“I was looking for you,” Y/N smiles.
“Where have you been?”
“Well, I could not find sleep so I went to the maester to ask for a draft.”
“Then you’ve been to the maester?” Aegon holds her at arms length, searching for any sign of harm.
“I was on my way to the maester when I happened across one of the groundskeeper’s wives and we got to talking.” Y/N admits, with a hiccuping laugh.
“What could you possibly be talking about for over an hour?”
“Just about everything, she is a lovely woman.” Y/N tells him.
Aegon nods, with a patient smile.
“I might have stayed longer, but it came up in conversation…all the ways a woman might please her husband. And I could not wait to tell you.”
“Seven hells,” Aegon groans.
“The smallfolk share things in the marriage bed I’ve never even heard of.” Y/N muses. “She told me that, on occasion, she puts his cock between her breasts and he-”
“Who is this woman, my darling? Did you get a name?”
“I do not remember her name. I’ve been drinking.”
“I’m well aware,” Aegon’s face softens. “Next time you cannot find sleep, wake me instead.”
Y/N nods.
“In return, I will teach you all the things a husband and wife might do together. I will even demonstrate, should you find it necessary.”
“Oh, could you?” Y/N grabs for his hands, in excitement.
Aegon sighs, “you will be the death of me.”
She leaves him little notes each time after, when she must go to attend her family.
‘My dearest Aegon, I will return soon. I could not stand to wake you from such a peaceful slumber. Worry not, I will always return to you.’
And she does, after council meetings and late nights with her mother. She always returns.
————————————————————————
After a particularly long week, Aegon avoids Y/N purposely. Attempting to clear the room when he finds her there.
“Have I done something?” Y/N stops him.
Aegon shakes his head, “it has been a long day. I do not wish to burden you.”
“When you are upset you may come to me.”
Aegon fights the urge to pull away, to ignore her until she leaves.
“I will hold you.” It isn’t much, but it is all she knows. The way her mother comforts her.
Aegon says nothing, sitting down to bury his head in his hands.
Y/N sighs, winding her arms around his shoulders, feeling them begin to shake.
He reaches for her slowly, as if such comfort might burn him, or she would simply bat his hand away. She doesn’t of course, she allows him to bring her closer, now seated in his lap.
The princess says not a word as her husband works himself free of his breeches. Taking her small clothes and skirt aside.
“It helps,” he tells her. “You help.”
He goes to her then, when the day is long. When there is news to share, on occasion, just to say hello. He goes to her because he can.
————————————————————————-
During dinners at the Red Keep they whisper secrets and share hushed laughter. When he grows tired of that, Aegon’s fingers toy with her pretty little cunt beneath the table, to watch her squirm.
“I love you.” He confesses, meeting her gaze as she turns to him at the height of her pleasure.
Y/N bites down on the inside of her cheek, holding perfectly still as Aegon works her through her peak. Withdrawing his fingers and wiping them clean on the fabric of her skirts. “I love you.”
No one is the wiser. Save for Otto, who knows all; or rather likes to believe he does.
Gone is any hope that the blacks or greens might use their influence to sway the tides from one side to another. Y/N and Aegon belong to each other now, a danger in its own right.
News of the princess’s pregnancy sparks a joyous celebration throughout the realm, only to be outshone by news of the birth. Two perfect little girls. Twins, named Dahlia and Visera, respectively.
“They are perfect, my dearest love.” Aegon marvels when they are placed in his arms.
Y/N nods.
“Are you well?” He asks, swaying from side to side.
Whether from weariness or the question itself, Y/N bursts in to tears.
Aegon carefully gives his daughters over to the maids. Climbing onto the freshly dressed bed with Y/N to hold her, stroking dark locks. “Shh, it’s alright.”
“It was awful,” Y/N sobs, clutching at him.
“Tell me what happened.”
“Everyone was barking commands at me, trying to rush the babe out, even worse with the second and my mother was the one person speaking against it.”
“Oh, my darling girl.” He sighs.
“I was tired and frightened…and the pain is unimaginable. I do not wish to do it again.”
Aegon sways her gently, “I am so terribly sorry.”
“You are the only person I wanted and I could not h-have you.”
“We will deliver the next just the two of us, if it pleases you.” Aegon promises.
“Your mother will never allow that.”
“She will not know.” Aegon kisses her cheek.
Y/N pulls back just enough to see him. “If you’re certain.”
“I am. Calm yourself now, my only love. This is a day of happiness.” Aegon dries her tears, “I should like to soak up every moment here, with the three of you.”
Y/N nods, “I would like that very much.”
At the prince’s request, Visera and Dahlia are returned to them.
Aegon takes his second born, tracing the soft lines of her little face, committing them to memory. “Papa loves you.”
Y/N grins at the sight, her own finger clutched in her eldest daughter’s fist.
It comes as a shock to only Alicent when Dahlia Targaryen is named their heir; with her claim upheld by Viserys himself. Aegon does not need a son, his daughters are his legacy.
They attend small council meetings as they grow, with Dahlia seated on her grandsire’s lap.
“Mama,” Visera pounds at the table, drawing attention from the other seats.
“What is it, my darling girl?” Y/N hushes her, hoping to hear their current positions on livestock.
The little girl reaches for the ball again. “Please?”
“What is it she wants?” Aegon asks, from beside his wife, pecking kisses to his daughter’s outstretched hand.
“The ball.” Y/N whispers.
“Ahh,” Aegon smiles, taking his ball in hand and turning it over to Visera. “There we are.”
“You’ll spoil her rotten.”
“Just like her mother, hmm?” Aegon jests, “that is the goal.”
Y/N bites back a grin, passing a hand over her daughter’s light hair.
Their daughters celebrate their third name day before the princess is expecting again.
“There seems to be only one of you in there, I fear.” Aegon whispers to the child in Y/N’s belly, pressing kisses to her skin.
“You fear?” His wife smiles.
“You see, three is an odd number, this child will need a companion.” The prince reasons.
Y/N doesn’t argue, listening to Aegon speak with their unborn babe until she falls asleep.
————————————————————————
Y/N’s term is nearly complete when Aegon finds his wife, holding their wailing daughters in her arms. One on each side of her belly.
“What’s happened?” Aegon asks.
Y/N looks to him, “the girls were playing and Visera closed the door on Dahlia’s finger by mistake. Now they are both inconsolable.”
Aegon reaches for his eldest daughter, “let Papa see, which finger is hurt.”
“My little finger,” Dahlia cries, presenting the red, angry digit.
“That does look terrible painful, my dearest love.” Aegon says, after carefully examination.
“I must have the maester.”
“Now, now, sweetheart.” Aegon presses feather light kisses to her hand. “We need a cold compress is all.”
The maids rush out to fulfill his request.
Dahlia rests her head against her father’s shoulder as she waits, sniffling while he rubs circles into her back.
“See there, darling girl? Your sister is alright.” Y/N gentles Visera, who is feeling incredibly guilty.
“I did not mean to.”
“Of course not, my love.” Aegon says, “twas only an accident.”
The rest of their day is spent playing dolls and Aegon giving pony rides. Which, while ridiculous, does serve as a form of entertainment for Y/N who sits aside to watch.
She may give birth any day now and she feels every bit uncomfortable, still she welcomes Dahlia into her lap as she waits for her turn on Aegon, the noble steed.
“Trot,” Visera orders, with a smile across her face.
“Trot?” Aegon laughs, “shall I do tricks for you as well, your grace?”
Y/N shakes her head, locking eyes with her husband; she mouths a single word, “spoiled.” She kneads the ache in her lower back with her free hand. Ignoring it through supper and long after Dahlia and Visera are asleep.
Aegon notices the way she keeps clutching at it. “Perhaps a warm bath might help.”
“That would be nice,” she croaks out.
“Might it be your labors, darling girl?”
“It is all in my back,” she does not recall hardly any pain in her back, whilst laboring with the twins. “I must have pulled it.”
“The girls are getting bigger, perhaps it’s best if you do not lift them, in this condition.” Aegon kisses her cheek, dashing off to find a maid.
Y/N inhales, closing her eyes to the dull throbbing ache. Even the tub does not help, she climbs back into bed, hoping to sleep it off, but the pain only intensifies.
“This must be more than a muscle.” Aegon whispers, lying behind her. Continuing to knead her hips at her request.
“It is my labors.” My chokes out.
“You’re certain?”
Y/N nods, “my waters just broke.”
Aegon presses a kiss to her shoulder. “Is there anything I might do for you?”
She shakes her head. “Walking will help the babe come down, I must stand.”
Aegon springs from the bed, helping her upright.
“Fuck.” She hisses, beginning to pace their rooms.
Aegon follows, unsure what else to do.
She reaches out for him after a while, when the pain is so great all she wants is an ounce of comfort.
“I’m here.” Aegon murmurs, wrapping her in his arms as she sways gently from side to side.
Y/N clings to her husband, breathing him in. Focusing her attention on the sweetness of his words, to distract herself from her labors. “I’ll need to push soon.”
“Of course,” Aegon’s done his best to prepare himself. Studying whatever books he could manage, without drawing attention from prying eyes. Highborn ladies do not have children delivered by their husbands.
Queen Alicent will be livid when she finds out, but it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Y/N climbs atop the bed, remaining modestly covered.
“There’s no reason to be nervous, my darling. I’ve seen your cunt a hundred times.” Aegon flips her nightgown up, positioning her legs apart, bent at the knee. “There we are.”
“This is different, surely.” Y/N bares down as her belly contracts.
“Yes and no,” he pats her thigh.
She keeps a firm grip on his hand, crying out despite her best efforts.
“Alright, that’s alright.” Aegon scrambles for something to muffle it. “Might this work?” His belt.
“Yes.” Y/N takes it from him, stuffing the leather strap into her mouth. She is not entirely silent, little whimpers escape, though not enough to alert the guards.
Aegon is patient, kind, whispering words of encouragement. He never rushes her, brushing his hands across her skin. “There you go, my dearest love.” He can see the child’s head now.
Her eyes water, gritting her teeth so tightly they ache.
“Breathe.”
Y/N draws in a breath through her nose, releasing it in a strangled manner, akin to a dying animal.
“Good girl,” Aegon is prepared to catch the infant.
The princess’s head falls back as the child emerges, connected to her by only the afterbirth.
“Slippery little fellow, aren’t you?” Aegon coos, holding his son in his arms.
The infant begins to wail.
“A boy?” Y/N pants, tossing the belt away to catch her breath.
“Yes, my darling girl.” Aegon grins, “how are you?”
There is still pain, there will always be pain, but it is largely outweighed by the image of Aegon holding their son. She bursts into tears, “I am well.”
“Oh dear,” he frowns, carefully maneuvering his newborn son. He lies the infant against her chest, leaning down to comfort her as best he can. “Was it not what you wanted?”
“It was better, my love.” Y/N assures him, counting their babe’s tiny fingers. “I am overjoyed.”
“Overjoyed,” Aegon huffs, clunking his forehead against hers. “Of course that is why you’re crying.”
The maesters come after a while, to be sure that Y/N and the babe are well. After receiving the all clear, they are finally able to rest. Waking early in the morn to present the newest member of their family.
Y/N is tired and sore, even now, lying abed doesn’t suit her. She sits upon a cushion, in a loose fitting gown, tracing the slope of her new babe’s nose. “Are you nearly ready, my love?”
“Nearly,” Aegon remarks. While fastening his breeches he discovers the shapes notched into his belt. He lets out a laugh.
“What is it?” Y/N smiles.
“Look,” he rounds the stool, jutting out his hips.
“Your cock?” The princess arches a brow. “I have seen it.”
“Here, darling girl.” He grins, tracing the outline of her indentations. “From your teeth.”
Her cheeks heat up, “you must take it off.”
“Take it off?” Aegon frowns, “this is a badge of honor. I will wear it day in and day out.”
“You are insufferable,” Y/N sighs.
Aegon pecks a kiss to her parted lips, silencing any protest and setting off to gather the rest of their children.
Y/N dearly misses her mother and brothers in Dragonstone.
————————————————————————
In the months after Laenor’s birth Y/N begins searching for a teacher willing to help her learn a skill most princesses never acquire. Leading her to seekout a man she never has before.
“I want to train by the sword.”
Aemond pauses his sparring practice. “Surely I misunderstand you, dear niece.”
“You are the best, I require a tutor.” Y/N puts it plainly.
“I must be, if you are asking me, of all people.”
“I will admit, you were not my first choice. But Aegon refuses to so much as raise a sword against me and my brothers never cared for knocking me down; where as you will have no qualms about it.”
Aemond smirks, “this is true.”
“I also thought it might be a way for you and I to come together…as family.”
Aemond squares his shoulders, “very well then. Take up your sword.”
The two of them have something in common at long last, until Princess Y/N falls pregnant again, some months later.
Viserys’ condition continues to deteriorate, it is unclear if he will survive to see Y/N and Aegon’s fourth child. As luck would have it, he is lucid when the Prince and Princess present their second son, Prince Aegon, fourth of his name.
“Well done, my girl.” The king manages.
Y/N smiles, “Aegon helped.”
“I should expect so,” Viserys laughs.
“I meant only that he too deserves a job well done.”
Viserys looks to her, as if seeing her for the first time. Then turning to his son he whispers, “well done, my boy.”
Aegon is taken aback, “thank you, father.”
————————————————————————
News of Lord Corlys Velaryon’s injury in the Step Stones brings forth Vaemond Velaryon’s petition to be named his brother’s successor over Lucerys.
This business, however unpleasant, brings Rhaenyra and her children back to King’s Landing.
“We were planning to visit in a few months time, after the babe was born.” Rhaenyra tells her daughter. “But it is always a joy to see you, darling girl.”
Y/N hugs her mother, tightly, “I’ve missed you.”
Rhaenyra strokes a hand over her daughter’s hair. “I have missed you terribly.”
King Viserys musters his last bit of strength to affirm his position for Lucerys and make known that his daughter, Rhaenyra, will always be the true heir to the throne.
They break bread, the blacks and greens together, once the petition is settled. Getting along for a time, until the king is taken back to his chambers to rest. A fight breaks out between Jace, Luce and Aemond, causing Rhaenyra’s untimely departure. She intends to return alone, on dragon back, after the children are settled at home.
Y/N finds sleep that night with a renewed sense of peace, waking to anything but.
Aegon is in an odd state of dress, as if he’s thrown clothes on in the dark. Pacing at the foot of their bed; muttering to himself.
“Aegon?” The princess rubs at her eyes, hoping to make sense of it.
“My father is dead.”
Y/N sucks in a breath.
“My mother and grandsire are gathering the smallfolk for my coronation, in the dragon pit.”
“Why? Alicent herself said that my mother would make a fine Queen only hours ago.”
“In the end it was my name Viserys spoke,” Aegon whispers. “To my mother, on his deathbed.”
Oh no, gods no. Viserys wouldn’t. “What exactly did he say?”
“It matters not, my dearest love. I intend to uphold your mother’s claim.”
“How?” By taking her throne?
“I know you do not trust my family, as well you shouldn’t. You know my heart, you know what I want. They are rushing into this because they know it is wrong. I have pleaded with them, to no avail.” Aegon says. “If it is a performance they demand, so that we might seize the crown to later unfuck this line of succession, it is a performance they will have.”
Y/N nods, pressing a hand to her chest, in a desperate attempt to settle her breathing.
“We’re going to wash you up and dress you in the finest gown the realm has ever seen. Then you are going to stand at my side as they bend the knee, to try it on for size. Think of it as preparation for the day you are crowned our true queen, after your mother has ruled for a great many years.”
Again she nods.
“Are you calm enough now or do you still need me?” Aegon asks, stroking his thumb over her cheek.
“I need you.”
Stand together.
————————————————————————
In nearly two days time the realm is divided, half of them devoted to Rhaenyra’s claim, the other half to Aegon’s. After Aegon is crowned, Otto Hightower continues to play his hand.
“What are we to do?” Y/N wonders.
“My mother sent Aemond to Storm’s End. Lord Baratheon was easily swayed by the promise of Daeron’s hand for one of his daughters.”
“That is good, is it not? An ally of ours is an ally of my mother’s, in time.”
“There is more,” Aegon admits, wringing his hands.
Y/N laces their fingers together instead, “speak it.”
“I wish so badly that I did not have to tell you.”
“Please, Aegon.” She insists.
“There was an incident.”
Y/N nods, urging him to continue.
“Between Aemond…and your brother Lucerys.”
“What?” Her eyes brim with tears, as though her heart already knows.
“Lucerys was there, delivering a message from your mother. Aemond followed him, on dragon back. I do not think Aemond meant to truly harm him.” Aegon watches the lone drop of moisture cascade over her cheek. “Lucerys is dead.”
The princess’s knees buckle and she falls, with pain in her chest is so great, her lungs cannot expand.
Aegon gentles her to the floor, into his lap as she sobs so violently it shakes the pair of them. There is nothing he can say, and so he holds her, until she has no tears left.
The next weeks drag on quite the same, they pretend for their children, but Y/N struggles.
She sits the small council meeting, listening to news of Rhaenyra’s blockade and its effect on the kingdom.
The doors push open, revealing Aemond.
Y/N nearly churns. Balling her hands so tightly into fists the nails break skin.
“The key to victory is through the Riverlands.” Aemond narrates, “we need to establish a toehold there, at Harrenhal.”
Y/N pushes away from the table, trembling with the force of her rage.
Aegon reaches for her, feeling his heart sink as she backs away, with both arms wrapped around herself. Trapped beneath the watchful eyes of the council. “My darling, I did not invite him here.”
“Tis true,” Aemond confirms, “I am here of my own volition.”
There is that, at least.
“Do you have something to say, my queen?”
Y/N’s back remains to Aemond, and the strategy board, “Prince Aemond is a traitor and a murderer, who deserves to swing in the streets for what he has done. Instead he attends meetings of the small council. It is clear I hold little value to any member of this court. I will not sit here and listen to this depravity.”
“Y/N.” Aegon rises from his seat, shifting between feet, anxiously.
“I am through, my king.”
Aegon recoils as if she’s slapped him.
“Unless you are commanding me to stay,” she replies, with venom in her voice.
“Of course not, my dearest love.”
Y/N exits the double doors, moving down the hall at record speed.
Aegon twirls the council ball between his fingers to settle his racing heart. This was once his father’s seat, where his children would sit, back when all was as it should be. Now his children are not welcome and his wife would sooner abandon ship than remain at his side. “Get out.” He says to his brother.
Aemond sighs.
“Get out!” Aegon slams his fist against the table, “from now on, you will make yourself scarce amongst these halls. If you happen across my wife, you will make haste in the opposite direction, she will not be forced to look upon your face again. Do you understand?”
Aemond bows his head, “as you wish, your grace.”
Y/N retreats to her children’s rooms, finding them empty. They must be in with Helaena’s twins again. She finds the six of them in Jaehaera’s room, playing together while Helaena sews her tapestry.
“How is it coming along?” Y/N asks, taking a seat beside her.
“Quite well.”
“Glad to hear it.” Y/N taps at her wedding ring, “do you find it relaxing? Mayhaps I should take up sewing.”
“I’m afraid.” Helaena says, setting her work aside.
“Of what?” Y/N cocks her head to the side.
“The rats.”
Y/N nods, hoping to understand. “What is it about them that frightens you?”
Helaena falls silent, a far off look in her eyes.
“I could look into them.” Y/N offers, instead. “The rats.”
Helaena blinks at her. “Would you?”
“Yes, of course. Perhaps with proper knowledge of their ways you need not fear them.”
Helaena smiles, “that would be nice.”
“I will head down to the library then, once the children are abed.”
After their baths, princess Y/N brushes through each of her children’s hair in turn. Her two year old son sits in her lap first. Laenor’s hair has wave to it, like Aegon’s. She twists a bit of it around her finger.
“Mama,” the little boy begins bouncing, impatiently.
“Yes, sweet boy?”
“All done,” he tells her.
Y/N huffs a laugh, squeezing him in a hug before releasing him, “off you go then.”
Laenor giggles, bounding away happily.
“Alright, my darling girls, who is next?”
Dahlia looks to Visera, who stares back at her, exclaiming in unison, “I am!” The pair comes charging at her, landing in the small space, side by side.
“My goodness, you have gotten so big.” Y/N groans as she repositions them. Taking turns swiping the bristles through their long, silver, hair before weaving in simple braids, one down each of their backs.
“Where is father?” Dahlia wonders.
Y/N swallows, “performing his duties.”
“What about us?” Visera asks.
“Your father loves you dearly,” Y/N kisses each of their heads. “He wants nothing more than to be with you. Sometimes there are things we must do, for the sake of the crown that require us to be parted from those we love, for a short while.”
The girls nod.
“One day, when you are grown, you will understand. In the meantime, please know that his heart is with you, always. He will never be far.”
Visera and Dahlia turn, holding their mother tight.
“I will see you on the morrow.” Y/N pats their backs, watching them take to their beds.
Her youngest child is brought to her last, wrapped in a silk blanket and wailing at the top of his lungs.
Y/N stands to collect him. “Now, now, my prince, what business do you have causing all that fuss?” Y/N coos at the babe in her arms.
Aegon the fourth quiets instantly, staring up at his mother while kicking his little legs.
“That’s what I thought.” Y/N remarks, sitting down in the arm chair to rock him to sleep. “You are so loved, my darling.” She strokes his dark hair and his tired eyes begin to close, “sweet dreams.”
With the prince safely abed, Y/N leaves the children in the care of their guards and maids, to see what books they might have about rats in the library. The selection is limited, of course, so she decides on a bound copy recounting the great plague. Its pages contain great detail about the little critters and their lives.
She finds herself more engrossed in it than she could have anticipated. The princess hardly hears her husband enter their rooms.
“What story is that now, my dearest love?” He asks, shucking off his boots.
“It’s a book about the plague.”
Part 5
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runninriot · 18 days
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missed wiggly wednesday again, so here's a Smutty Steddie Songfic September snippet instead 😇
“I’m telling you, Stevie! That guy had no shame whatsoever. Didn’t even hesitate to pull blank in front of me to show off that ridiculous tattoo right above his dick. It was horrendous! I even offered to cover it up for free but he declined, said the ladies dig it.”
Eddie snorts and shakes his head. The things you have to put up with sometimes in his field of work never ceases to amaze him.
   “But hey, can’t say I didn’t like the overall view. A feast for my imagination. I’ll definitely use it the next time I’m ‘feeling lonely’.”
He uses his fingers to sign quotation marks and wiggles his eyebrows, delighted at the blush creeping up Steve’s cheeks when he realises what Eddie means by that.
Steve’s always been a little shy when it comes to talking about these things but they’ve been friends long enough for him to have gotten used to Eddie’s big, unfiltered mouth.
Eddie loves to rile him up, just a little, never so much that it makes him truly uneasy but enough to get a little kick out of it himself.
Steve’s cute when he blushes.
He’s damn fucking pretty, always, is the thing.
So what if Eddie stares a little too obvious? It’s not his fault Steve is so-
Nevermind.
He averts his gaze, takes a sip from his drink to cool off, giving Steve the chance to change the subject to something else.
  "Sometimes I fuck you in my head."
Eddie splutters his mouthful of beer half over himself, half over the table, can't believe he heard Steve right.
No. That must be a mistake because he can't possibly have said that.
Right?
   "I don't know why, it's just- sometimes when I touch myself, I think of you, you know?"
Eddie does, in fact, not know. Because what?
   "Steve, dude, look at me. Did you take something? Without me?"
He must've. There's no way he'd talk that much bullshit if he was sober. But they've only been here for ten minutes, fifteen max, both still on their first beer and there is no way in hell Steve is already that drunk.
So this must be something else.
Because it is absolutely impossible that his straight best friend would ever fantasize about anything other than boobies and soft lips and long lashes and, hell, maybe even a tight juicy ass – a woman’s ass – to get him going.
Steve Harrington does not think about guys when he touches himself. And most certainly not about Eddie.
He’s messing with him, that must be it. A little revenge for Eddie being insufferable.
   “Hah, that was good, Harrington. For a moment I really thought you’d lost your mind,” Eddie laughs half-heartedly in a weak attempt to cover up the slight tremble in his voice.
    For a second you got me thinking my pining ass died and went to heaven, is the thought he keeps to himself.
Another second goes by and Eddie is still waiting for Steve to laugh, to maybe swat his arm and tell him ‘Ha! Got’cha! You should see your stupid face.’ but that doesn’t happen. Instead, the air thickens and the tension between them makes Eddie nervous.
Then, finally, after what feels like an eternity, Steve opens his mouth.
But somehow, that only makes it worse.
   “Is- is that bad?”
(click here for more)
or here for the whole fic 😇
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six-eyed-samurai · 2 months
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SUMMARY: It's been some time since your death and yet none of the Hashira still have the heart to remind Muichiro you're gone. A/N: I'm not too sure if the title means what I think it means so let me know if it's wrong...anyways I got the idea from a fic of @oceanxmoonz, so credits! Also you can probably tell I got lazy at the end... WARNINGS: (y/n) is dead. That's it.
“Where’s (y/n)?”
Shinobu’s smile was a little faker than before as she turned around to face the expectantly waiting Mist Pillar, who seemed a little upset. She couldn’t answer that quite yet. “Are you looking for them?”
“Yes,” Muichiro said plainly. “I couldn’t find them at all this morning. Or afternoon…have you seen them?”
Was it sadder to watch Muichiro lose his closest friend - if not something more - and grieve about it for a long time after or sadder to watch him forget they were long dead? That they weren’t avoiding him like his amnesia had him think, that they actually couldn’t? He always needed to be reminded and Shinobu didn’t like to be the one to do so.
“Tokito…they died a few months ago, remember?”
“No, they didn’t. Ginko would’ve told me.” His eyes widened, then narrowed angrily. “I don’t think that’s a very funny thing to say, Kocho.”
“But, Tokito-”
“I’ll go find (y/n) myself,” he said abruptly, then walked off.
Of course he came back later with the same question; of course Shinobu’s smile faltered.
***
“…I forgot your name.”
“…”
Muichiro blinked at the stoic Pillar before him. “You’re the…something Hashira, right? I think (y/n) mentioned you. Are they back from both of your mission yet?”
Tomioka hesitated. He was honest but he wasn’t cruel. He knew exactly what Tokito was talking about, knew that he suffered from huge blanks in his memory. He envied the younger Hashira a little, to be able to forget such tragedy - however seeing him constantly wander around wondering where they’d gone was a pitiful sight.
So in the end he decided to evade the question. “Yes. (y/n) came back safely from the mission.”
The Mist Pillar’s eyes lit up. “Thank you. I’ll go find them now.”
Yes, (y/n) came back from their mission together safely. If only the same could be said of the last.
***
“HAR?”
“I said, where’s (y/n)?” Muichiro sighed after his almost shout at the disbelieving Wind Pillar. “Has your mission damaged your ears?”
“You little-” Sanemi checked himself. “I know damn well what it was you said.”
“Okay then, where’s (y/n)? I found this flower I wanted to show them.”
The older man’s mouth fell open, probably to harshly remind Tokito for the fifth time that month that who he was looking for was long dead and gone. Then it closed again.
Sanemi was not a soft man, evidenced by his scars, shouts, and treatment of his younger brother. But at the end of the day his intentions, though misguided, were what he wanted best for everyone. It was a tragic world out there and whether his next words were going to exacerbate it he would accept the consequences whole-heartedly - no one would fault him for not wanting to bring the poor kid back to shattering reality either, right?
“Probably out on another mission. You can’t keep hogging them to yourself, Tokito.”
“That’s odd…I thought they just came back…”
“Yeah, well, demons don’t wait for anyone!” Sanemi barked. Sadly, too true.
***
“Oh, Tokito…!”
“…Kan-something-san?” Muichiro’s face twisted in confusion as the pink-haired lady threw herself at him crying, pulling him into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.” Mitsuri straightened and wiped at her face, plastering a bright but trembling smile for the younger Hashira.
Muichiro blinked. “Okay. Have you seen (y/n)? I just got back from a mission but I can’t find them.”
“…perhaps they’re busy?” Mitsuri swept the tears on her cheeks again. “Don’t worry, I don’t think they’d ignore if they had a choice, Tokito!”
“Oh…alright then.” Muichiro drifted off, readily accepting Mitsuri’s story despite the obvious holes for lack of better explanation.
Mitsuri bit her lip, guilty at her lie. Every day Muichiro would approach with the same question and every day someone or some way it would be broken to him that (y/n) was long gone but as terrible as it made her feel Mitsuri never wanted to be the one who did it.
He’d found the love she’d always been searching for. Unfortunate one didn’t survive for long.
***
“Young Tokito! Are you looking for someone?!”
“You’re really loud…” Muichiro tilted his head. “Have you seen (y/n)?”
Tengen and Rengoku shared a look - the Sound Pillar broke the pause first. “Tokito, don’t you remember?”
“Remember what?” Muichiro’s attention span was already running out. “I think I saw them today but I can’t remember where.”
“You couldn’t have seen them,” Tengen starts again, for it’s not the first time the Mist Pillar has mistaken someone else for (y/n). “They’re-”
“Oh, right…at the Butterfly Mansion, I think. Thanks for…helping?” Muichiro left and the two Pillars glanced at each other again.
“Who’s gonna tell him? He can’t keep walking around thinking they’re still alive. That’s just cruel.”
“But if he remembers his spirit will be beyond crushed - you remember how he was when he first found out. For now, when we need to be most vigilant, perhaps we should let him be!”
Rengoku’s voice carried a tremor of uncertainty, however.
***
“I saw Kanroji and you talk a few days ago. Did you make her cry?” Obanai glowered menacingly at the deadpan Mist Pillar.
“No? She was crying?”
“Yes!” Kaburamaru hissed with his owner.
“Oh…right. Now I remember. I didn’t make her cry.” Muichiro looked up. “At least I don’t think so?”
Obanai resisted the urge to slap his hand on his forehead. He leaned in clsoer. “Why was she crying?”
“I have no idea,” Muichiro said, leaning back. He brightened. “Oh, right. I was asking about (y/n).”
“(y/n)?” Obanai stiffened but took a step back. “Oh. I see.”
“Which reminds me…I wanted to go see her after our sparring, but I don’t know where they are.”
The Serpent Pillar and his snake shifted uncomfortably. “You’ll find them.”
Not really. Obanai hoped for the sake of his comrade that he’d forget he’d already asked the question and not stumble upon (y/n)’s grave.
***
Himejima too cried.
It didn’t really make sense to Muichiro, but he let the oldest Hashira lay a hand on his shoulder and say some prayers. He didn’t really pay attention to the wording but he caught his name and (y/n)’s.
It was safe to assume the Stone Hashira didn’t know where they were so Muichiro bid him goodbye (or at least he thought he did) and set off to go find them himself. From behind the trees one Shinazugawa Genya watched him go before joining his master’s side.
“Why isn’t anyone telling him?” Genya couldn’t imagine what it was like to lose someone so close to you, someone to love and care for, and not even remember when they were no longer there.
“Some things must be found out by himself.”
“Isn’t it unfair to (y/n)’s memory if Tokito doesn’t remember?”
“I’m sure (y/n) will understand…they were very patient with him. They will understand that he needs to take his own time in coming into terms with…”
“Coming into terms?” Genya’s frown deepened. “You mean it’s not just his memory thing?”
“Grief and denial are strange things.”
***
“Where are you, (y/n)?”
Muichiro knelt down by the headstone, dropping the bouquet next to him. “I hope you’re happy, wherever you are. I’m sorry I forgot about you for so long.”
He takes a deep breath and begins to tell about his day, like he’s been doing every day ever since he regained his memories after that fateful fight at the Swordsmith Village and befriending Tanjiro. He thinks they’d like this version of him much more.
“The demons have been awfully quiet lately,” Muichiro mused. “They say Kibutsuji’s planning something. They’re probably all out to get Nezuko. A big all out war’s going to be coming, I think, and I’m sorry I won’t be able to visit when that happens. So I’ll come more often now.”
He dusted off the stone, staring sadly at the inscription. “I’ll kill the demon who got you. I promise.”
At the price of his own life, (y/n) knew, sitting invisibly next to him, crying transparent tears but he wasn’t to know that.
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moonstruckme · 2 months
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our girl with the emt!marauders is constantly in pain lol. how would you feel maybe writing about one of the boys getting hurt for a change? she gets called to take whoever home! it can be funny cuz it’s usually her ass who needs saving. (only if it’s tickling that writin itch)
Thanks for requesting babe!
cw: back injury
emt!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 708 words
Sirius is already hobbling out of the front door when you pull up at the curb, James hovering beside him like he’s about to keel over and Remus walking behind them both with a worried indent between his brows. 
“Hey.” Sympathy bends your voice as James opens the door for him. Sirius grimaces, slowly lowering himself into the passenger seat. “Wow, I didn’t expect it to be this bad. You can’t straighten up at all?” 
“Nope,” James answers for him. He comes around to your side of the car and leans through the open window for a kiss. “He’s strained a muscle in his lower back. Only thing to do right now is rest and ice it.” 
Remus passes Sirius his seatbelt before he can reach for it himself. “Try to keep still,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss across his temple before looking at you. “Please try to drive extra carefully so he doesn’t hurt himself, love. And don’t let him do anything at home.” 
“This has got to be the first time I’ve been asked not to help out around the house,” Sirius teases. “I’d like to use my current privileges to extend this dish-doing ban indefinitely, please.” 
You find yourself in agreement. Is Remus really worried about Sirius rushing home to do chores? Just last week you had to show him where you keep the broom. You’ve lived together for over a year. 
Your dubiousness must show on your face, because James laughs and says, “He’s already injured himself worse by trying to put the moves on Remus.” 
“Hardly my fault,” Sirius says dismissively. “He’s very tall, have you noticed? I don’t have the proper equipment for mountain climbing.” 
You snort, and he grins, a true show of resilience by a soldier down. 
“I won’t let him do anything,” you tell Remus solemnly. 
“Thanks, lovie.” James plants another kiss on your cheek, rounding the car to lead Remus back inside. “Rest and ice,” he reminds you. “Keep an eye on him!” 
“I twinge something in my back and suddenly it’s like I’m not even allowed to speak for myself,” Sirius gripes.
You laugh, putting the car into gear. “Welcome to my world.” 
You take Remus’ cautioning very seriously, drifting into all your stops and easing slowly around each turn. The drive takes about twice as long as it usually would, but there are no incidents. When you get home, you do your best to give Sirius the princess treatment the boys always give you when you’re injured or ailing; you insist on opening his door for him and helping him inside, you set up a mountain of pillows to support the ice pack behind his back, and you put the remote in his hand so he can choose something to watch while you make the both of you lunch. 
“I feel very lame,” Sirius says as you come back with sandwiches and drinks. It’s a repetition of the same complaint you heard every time you started to slow down for a turn or glanced over to check on him during the drive here. “But I will say, this luxury service is starting to make up for things.” 
“Really?” You grin at him. “You’re not experiencing any urges to get out the vacuum or lift heavy things?” 
“Oddly enough, no.” 
“Crazy.” You take a bite of your sandwich, cozying up on the other side of the couch to watch the film he’s chosen. 
“You know,” Sirius drawls, “I realize I’m making this all look very easy, but I wouldn’t reject a cuddle.” 
You turn, and your boyfriend is looking over at you with a raised brow. You smile sheepishly. “I don’t want to hurt you.” 
He scoffs. “Sweetheart, if I’m too injured to cuddle, they may as well put me down. C’mere.” 
You scoot to the other side of the couch, curling into your boyfriend’s side but covertly leaning your weight against the back cushion instead. 
“Better.” Sirius kisses the top of your head firmly. 
“We probably shouldn’t tell Rem and Jamie about this.” 
“Oh no. When they get home, the story is that I was miserable being laid up all day and didn’t enjoy it at all. God forbid I have to do it again tomorrow.”
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A Changed Future (2) | Yandere Isekai
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Part 1
It’s so irritating for Haruko 
He remembers how he used to try and make noise in the beginning, when the same thing happened to him
But even without your struggling, he’s got more obstacles than he thought
“Tch all these guys getting in our way, maybe I should just kill them.”
“Haru no!”
“Why not, I'm sure you did it when I was trapped.”
“That…that doesn’t make it right!”
“So? Who cares about right when we’re in love? I think it was you who said that.”
Either way with or without your approval he’s figuring out a way to take down his newfound rivals
He kind of hopes they are as ambitious as the friends who recently abandoned him
Too bad they aren’t
In the original story, the crazy thing about the protagonist was that despite their obsessive love for Haruko and general disregard for those who got in the way of that was otherwise really inspiring
Breaking away from their elitist family for their violent morals ironic right
Joining the workforce, easily rising because of their work ethic and intelligence
And all that while beautifully evading a less-than-clean detective trying to pin the blame of random crimes on them
Which of course got them their own male leads attempting to pursue their affections
Always doomed to fall short because of circumstance or the protagonist suavely crushing their hopes to gush about their love
It was a uniquely terrible tragedy for their characters to be written this way
That’s what the random reviewers would say
Which is why you did feel inclined to maybe entertain them a bit more than the original protagonist would have ever done
“Since you are quitting….I hope you’ll let me treat you to dinner. For all your hard work of course.”
“Uh sure but I have to be home by sunset.”
“That’s a shame then we’ll have to—Wait. Did you say you would?”
“Yeah, are you okay?”
“YES! Ahem I mean yes I’m fine! I look forward to a nice evening together!”
Unknowingly furthering the obsession the protagonist was barely keeping at bay
“So mind telling me what you ordered that day at the restaurant?”
“I think it was my favorite dish there called the berry delight but I’m not sure. I think they changed the menu since I was there.”
“Why not confirm it later today? That way you can tell me if you did see the missing classmate of yours.”
“But I don’t remember exactly where I sat–”
“Then we’ll just have to sit in every spot until it rings a bell.”
“I don’t know if that’s–”
“Don’t fret. I’ll be paying but there's no way we’ll get to try every table. We’ll have to come back multiple times.”
“Okay…”
“No worries I’m sure you’ll get tired of eating there so we’ll go to some other places to give you a rest. Anywhere you wanted to try?”
You’d be foolish to think you could escape them by agreeing to Haruko’s entrapping of you 
It only takes a day of you not responding to messages that they both eagerly awaiting you at your door
And after the first few times, Haruko shooing them away they begin to get resourceful
“Yeah bud nice try their still out.”
“Hm well say that to my lovely warrant right here.”
“Wait! H-h-hold on! Geez I-i’ll go get them now but they are not going to be happy with you!”
It really doesn’t get better as the guard against the protagonist’s secrets begins to be let down as interested parties slowly make their way in
You don’t have the same ruthlessness or ability to deceive as the protagonist you took over for 
On top of that you never actually read the webtoon so you’ll be left trying to piece together whatever few weak points the protag has
Where if you hadn’t already started to make your pursuers interested all those faults are fuel for their agenda
“It’s so unfortunate that the company can sign off on your absence during this suspicious crime but I don’t mind editing records if you wouldn’t mind spending time with me. That way I can vet your personality myself. Over wine of course!”
It’s overwhelming constantly being pulled in 3 directions 
What’s worse you’re completely oblivious when the latest obstacle in the protag’s perfect life finally makes themselves known
“Hello darling, it took us years to find you but we did it!”
“Don’t look like that come give your Mama a hug!”
Part 3: Coming Soon
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housecow · 4 months
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i have knee problems stemming from an injury when i was younger. if i step wrong and fall in a certain way, the pain is so bad i can’t walk. but sometimes i like to fantasize: what if something even worse happens and i can’t walk for weeks? what if i happen to be in regular close contact with my feeder?
it’d be hard being told i have rest and let myself heal. there are plans coming up that have to be cancelled, the few active hobbies i have left take a hit. but…it’s so easy to accept every snack brought to me. after all, i sought out a feeder—this lifestyle is the one i’ve eaten myself towards. and he knows i have an inclination towards eating too much. that first week goes easier than it should; weight starts to pile on. but i miss going out, even running errands sounds nice. in the few moments my hands are absent of food or a shake i am regularly in contact with my friends.
the next week i’m better but… i feel slow. my feeder has started to keep people away because i need to rest and he’s right, healing is taxing on the body. i start responding less to others, too. our funnel has gotten so much more use in the last few days. the sugar and constant snacks step up and i can tell there is an agenda behind it all but *god* it feels good to be doted on. he helps me through the necessary exercises but trips across the house are rare. i notice how difficult it is to lift myself up now—how sedentary have i been?
that question doesn’t cross my mind again, there are better things to focus on. my feeder knows how to use my adhd to his advantage—food, sex, TV, and games all provide the dopamine hit needed to keep me distracted. the 3rd week is similar enough to the 2nd: ritualistic feeding becomes the norm. we don’t need a valve to control the flow on the funnel anymore, he knows i can finish everything. my belly is swollen out into my lap all of the time now, if i hold my boobs aside i can see new stretch marks creeping across my expanding hips. i expect the snacks, “babe, can you grab me something from the fridge?” is a phrase heard several times in the day. and my feeder obliges.
the 4th week we have an appointment and im told i should walk and start being active again. the doctor looks nervous though and tells me i need to watch my weight, he says something like “its alarming how quickly this happened,” but i blocked it out because—i can’t even see how much i weigh? my belly blocks the view now. oh my god.
in the car afterwards my feeder expresses doubt at the situation: “you don’t look so steady on your feet, i think you should still take it easy.” his eyes meet mine and i don’t miss the brief glance away, desire obvious at the sight of my rounded figure that’s entirely his fault. i know what he wants and i can’t deny myself that want, either. and he knows better in these situations, i trust his judgement. maybe it is best to stay in. plans can be pushed further back… the walk back to the car was a little difficult, too.
the next weeks—or does it span months?—pass in a blur. staying in is all i want to do. although i’m supposedly healthy again, i rarely get up and walk around more than needed. “needed” means a slow, clumsy walk to the fridge and back to either the couch or the bed. when my feeder is not there to feed me himself he takes time to order food to the door. bending down to pick things up is a monumental effort for me—a heavy, wide belly pressing into my fattened thighs. my swollen tits obscure my vision but serve as an excellent table when i need.
my feeder comes home one day and im asleep, taking up more than my fair share of the couch. my breaths are not easy and its obvious how much i ate beforehand: mostly-empty 2 liters, takeout containers haphazardly stacked on top of one another as they were finished, countless snack packages balled up and stuck between the couch cushions because sometimes i like to squirrel stuff away. as if there was a chance of hiding these habits my feeder built.
but the best part of it all is the empty pitcher sat against the corner of the couch, because i couldn’t reach to the coffee table to properly set it down with so much fat making every movement difficult.
the remnants a weight gain shake. our usual ingredients of cake mix, melted ice cream, strawberries, chocolate syrup, nutella, crushed oreos. it was hastily made, however, and it’s obvious by the chocolatey powder on the sides of the container that it was about the calories this time, not the taste. he can see where some escaped the pitcher and poured down my overly plump, round face and past the lovingly cultivated double chin. it dripped onto my breasts, lovely puddles of calories he wish made it inside of me even if the sight is wonderful. after that thought, an idea comes up. how deep are the rolls he’s gifted me? a cow this size needs to be used.
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bluerosefox · 5 months
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GHOSTS WITH HEARTBEATS
When Jason had been going to Gotham Academy, he had (for a good reputation for the media and to help him catch up on his penmanship, remember he had been on the streets and dropped out of school before getting picked up by Bruce for a while) signed up for a penpal project for 'less privileged people' to write to.
(Although Jason was annoyed the penpal project stayed within the states and only selected a middle of nowhere town, he knew the Richie Rich Elites would never subjugate their 'Heirs' to actual kids in need of learning how to read and write)
But Jason didn't mind his penpal.
Danny Fenton was a riot to talk, err write to in all honestly.
From his dry punny humor (and boy can he give even Dick a run for his money in the pun department but hey using some of them actually got Dick to warm up to him a few missions ago) and death jokes so many death jokes, to his nerdy love for space Jason enjoyed writing to Danny.
Even the short stories he would write about a ghost kid protecting a small town from other ghosts was interesting to read. He really liked the different kinds of ghosts there could be. Granted some seemed very OP like that Clockwork dude.
Jason liked writing to Danny, and even after the penpal project was over they had plans to keep sending letters, maybe even exchange numbers soon...
But then he died by the hands of the Joker.
The letters leaving Wayne Manor may had decreased but the letters being sent never did or at least until a few years ago.
Then Jason somehow returned to the land of the living.
Got taken by the LoA, tossed in the green waters and turned into their Pit Raged weapon for a while before leaving them behind and setting out for his revenge against the Joker and to force B's hand.
And becoming a Crime Boss for a while too. Can't forget that.
Point being with all this going on, the old warm memories of exchanging letters with Danny Fenton was pushed into the back of his mind and forgotten about for a while.
It isn't until one afternoon at Wayne Manor that while roughhousing with Dick, who had Jason in a brotherly headlock as they walked down a hall to one of the sitting rooms, that while Jason had slipped out of Dick's hold had stumbled into a hallway desk that had a few things on the top of it, one of the things being a small box that tumbled off when Jason hit it.
The box lid opened and out of it spilled out a good number of letters.
"Shiii-p, dang it Dick!" Jason said when he looked at the mess he accidentally made and stopped himself from swearing, the place might be named Wayne Manor but everyone knew this was Alfie's domain and no swearing was a rule within his halls.
Dick only laughed and teased only in a way a sibling can do "Hey not my fault your as big as a tank Jaybird! We should get you some caution signals if you keep bumping into things!"
Jason flipped him his favorite finger, thankfully Alfred only knew when they swore thus it did not summon him, and bent down to the letters.
His hands froze when he recognized the hand writing and the address it was sent from.
"From: Danny Fent Nightingale
Amity Park, IL"
To: Jason Todd-Wayne
Gotham City, NJ.
Wayne Manor"
And when Jason opened the letter. He really wasn't expecting what was written inside.
"Jason.
I'm finally leaving Amity Park. I can't be there anymore, not after everything. I'm too tired, and emotionally hurt. Everything is just to much. And I can't keep doing this to myself. My parents still can’t understand there is nothing ‘wrong’ with me or why I refuse to let them take care of Ellie, I refuse to let her live the way Jazz and I did, Jazz has to much on her plate already with her own life and college but she’s been hounding me to reach out to mom and dad, Sam refuses to listen to me when I tell her I want to be more than ‘Phantom’ in Amity Park, and Tucker is so busy trying to get into a good college and job we barely have time to talk nowadays. And don’t get me started on Vlad, that fruitloop’s been breathing down my neck since Ellie’s deaging.
Despite how much of a hellhole you like to call it, I think Gotham might be my, no mine and Ellie’s best bet of living some kind of life, especially now since the whole deaging she had to go through, she needs an ectoplasm rich city as well and since she has no actual papers because she was my clone and I remember you saying Gotham has people who can create new identities and-
I’m rambling again, to letter you again. I really need to stop it.
I can’t keep pretending you’re going to read these.
I know you’ll never read these. You’re gone. I can’t even find you in the Realms no matter where I look.
I’m sorry. For using you as, well, a way to vent my life for last couple of years. I shouldn’t had done it but it helped me.
Believing my friend was still alive and getting my letters I mean.
Again I’m sorry.
This will be my last letter to your ghost, pun unintended.
Goodbye Jason. Wish us luck in your city.
-Danny Fen-Nightingale...."
The sent date on the letter was roughly eight years ago.
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ddejavvu · 11 months
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omg part two for hotch scrolling through your ig pretty please 😭😭 like IMAGINE penelope gathering the rest of the gang so they can collectively stalk your instagram and she accidentally likes one of your pictures while lurking
Penelope isn't often scared of Hotch, because the man has a soft spot for her, and she knows it. But now he's staring at her with a stern glare, something she's not usually on the receiving end of. She shifts on her heels, strangely speechless.
"Sir? Is everything okay?"
He lets her suffer in silence for a moment longer, then gestures towards his phone face-up on the desk. It's lit up with a text notification, and she faintly recognizes the name that it's attached to.
Y/N Y/L/N: Isn't this your computer whiz?
"Open it." Hotch instructs, his voice unfailingly calm, which sets Penelope even further on edge. She reaches out with a trembling finger to tap on the notification and it opens your thread, the screen entirely consumed with a screenshot you'd taken of your instagram. Sure enough, in your notifications page is a note: baby_girl_penny_g liked your photo.
"Um," Penelope stalls, and despite her rampant creativity, she can't bring herself to fib, "Well, I- the tags were-"
"There were no hashtags," Hotch stops her in her tracks, "The only way you could have found that photo was on her profile. How long ago was that posted?"
Penelope scrolls to the bottom of the post even though she doesn't want to, and mutters "2018."
"Five years ago. Five-" Hotch steels himself before he gets too upset, pinching the slim bridge of his nose, "Garcia, did Morgan tell you about this?"
"it wasn't his fault," She pleads his case, "I could tell there was something on his mind! So I got him, like, super drunk, and we-"
"Penelope, this was none of your business." Hotch speaks over her. He doesn't like cutting her off, but he knows her, and she'll talk for hours just to try and weasel her way back into his good graces. He watches her squirm with a stern expression, hands folded on his desk while he clenches his jaw.
"I won't tell anyone else." She promises weakly, and Aaron raises a single eyebrow at her. Secret-keeping is not her forte, and they both know it.
"Okay, so-" She crumples, "I- I totally will. But Hotch, we're gonna be happy for you! I'm already happy for you, you deserve this! You deserve love, even if you try to use this job as an excuse not to find it! You found it, and you should own it."
"I purposefully did not share the status of my relationship with our team. It was meant to be private."
Penelope regains some of her boldness now, even in the face of Hotch's scowl, "Well tough shit, Hotchner! We love you, and we were all there when you lost Haley! We watched you die inside, and we deserve to watch you live again! We are part of your family, Hotch, whether you like it or not, and we're not gonna walk away just because you get snippy with us! So help me, Hotch, I will handcuff myself to you until you realize that we are here. We are here, and we love you, and we always will! You can tell us about your life, because we want to enjoy it with you."
Perhaps she shouldn't have been so forward. Perhaps she shouldn't have said the H-word, or brought up Hotch's infuriating tendency to distrust people's care for him not out of malice, but out of self-loathing. Perhaps she should have hung her head and apologized, but Penelope Garcia is headstrong, and she does not fear the tense wrath of Aaron Hotchner simply for loving him.
For a moment, she worries that she's flaunted a red cape around a bull. Reid's words echo in her mind about how it's nothing to do with the color red, and everything to do with the movement of the fabric, but now is not the time, Doctor Reid, thank you very much. She waits for him to charge, knows he'll withdraw now that she's faced him with the terror of being known, of being cared for, and she can feel her heart sink to the nearly-numb heels of her feet.
Then something in his jaw shifts, and he glances away from her, blinking.
"Thank you." He murmurs, and she thinks she may have heard him wrong.
"What?" She whispers, and he gnaws at the inside of his cheek, caving it in.
"Thank you. For being firm with me." He clarifies, "I... I'm glad that you're here."
Tears spring to her eyes and she nods vigorously, incapable of speech but overflowing with emotion. He swallows, clearing his throat, "In the future, please do not stalk my romantic partners. And... in the future, I will introduce you, so that you don't need to stalk them."
"Okay," She grins through her misty eyes, letting him steer the conversation back towards his comfort zone, "Okay, Hotch. We love you. And- and we're really happy for you, and can I please go and tell the others?"
He laughs despite himself, and doesn't bother steeling himself into composure anymore. He grins, "Fine. But leave out the details of her most recent posts, please."
"The ones where she talks about being sore in the mornings?" She fixes him with a devious grin, already making for the door intent on shouting the news from the rooftops, "I won't say it in the bullpen, 'cause Reid couldn't handle it, but I'm totally gossiping with the girls about it, Hotch."
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silverwhittlingknife · 4 months
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
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No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
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1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
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2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
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3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
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4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
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5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
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6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
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7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
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8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
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9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
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10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
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11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
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12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
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13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
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14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
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15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
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16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
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17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
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17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
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18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
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19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
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20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
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21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
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22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
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23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
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24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
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25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
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TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
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#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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Stolen Goods 3
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Warnings: noncon and other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.
Ft. Lloyd Hansen, petite!pregnant reader
I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!
Enjoy, my loverlies.
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You hit the back of the trunk with your fist, the tires put to the limit as the man drives without caution. He's honked several times and screeched to many jarring halts. You're trapped in more than just that compartment, bouncing around with the groceries, you're enshrined in a fervour of fear and despair. 
Why is this happening to you? Who is this man? What is he going to do to you? 
Well, what has he already done? 
“Please, sir, I won't tell anyone,” you beg through the back seat, "please. Just take me back--" 
"Do you like classic rock? Jazz?" He asks as the car swerves and he switches lanes. Holy shoot, is he on the highway?  
"What? Please, I promise--" 
"You're distracting me, sweet stuff, you're gonna get us both pancaked by a sixteen-wheeler," he clucks, "just calm down and enjoy the music." 
He flips on the stereo and the local pop station plays. He hums along for a moment, "Ariana, nice." He turns up the familiar top ten and you whimper. 
This is surreal. You really can't believe it. It all happened so quickly. The way he touched you, the way you just stood there and let it happen, then how he just locked you in here! Who does that? Who lets someone do that? Who doesn't raise her voice and tell him to stop? Or ignore him and get in the car and drive away? 
You. You're stupid. You should have been patient and waited for Jake. You should have done so much differently.  
Your tears spring as easily as ever. Your hormones have you always ready to overflow and now seems as suiting as that cat food commercial. You crumble completely, giving up on begging, and bawl. You're going to die, your baby too. 
Maybe that's your fault too. You were so scared when you saw the positive. When you realised the condom broke. There was that split second you wished it wasn't true. When you hoped that it might undo itself. Then you wanted it. You still do. Your baby. Things aren't perfect but you can make them better. 
You jostle with the paper bags, wallowing in your resignation and dread. Time throttles you until it feels like the whole world is on your chest. You hug your belly and apologise to your child. You're supposed to take care of them. 
When the car stops, the sudden dearth of sound slaps you in the face. You sniffle and listen with breath bated. The driver's side opens and dips. He stands and his footfalls stride undaunted towards the trunk. 
You brace yourself. You can't give up yet. The lock clicks and the lid lifts. You push it up before he can open it all the way but he has his hand on your neck before you can leap out. 
"Oh, baby cakes," he squeezes and you cough, "you don't think I'm that stupid, do you?" 
The dimming sky shrouds his figure and he puts cold metal to your cheek, "you don't wanna get yourself hurt. Or the kid, huh?" He presses the metal barrel firmly to your temple, "I don't wanna hurt you either but you gotta give a little." 
"S-sorry," you choke out and latch onto his thick wrist, teetering on your knees as the rest against the edge of the trunk, "I---I--" 
"I know, baby. You're scared. Change is terrifying but I heard you talking to the deadbeat," he pulls the gun away and holsters it. He eases you forward and helps you put your feet to the ground. He keeps a strong hold on you, "you can do better." He smirks, "hi, I'm better, but you can call me Lloyd." 
You gape at him. Is that a joke? 
“And you are...” he enunciates your name. “Sorry about your purse, I tossed it some ditch, but I got the important shit out of it.” 
“Huh?” You blink at him dumbly. 
“Phone’s wiped too. So, I’ll probably just break that down for parts--” 
“Wait, what? Why—please, why are you doing this?” 
“I’m not too sure myself, shortcake, but we’ll figure it out.”  
He slips his hand down to your wrist and pulls you away from the car. He shuts the trunk and the noise echoes off the high ceiling. You look up at the interior of the garage. Several cars are parked in the space. What kind of place is this? 
“Come on, you don’t wanna hang out in here,” he snorts and tugs you to follow him. 
All you can do is let him guide you. You keep your free hand on your stomach as your eyes burn. You can’t give up. You have to keep going for your baby. 
He takes you up a short set of steps and into a house just as colossal as the garage. He looks down at your feet as you stand on the mat. He tuts. Your slides were lost somewhere in your struggle. Your feet are cold and dirty. 
“Hm, well... what now?” He asks. 
“What now?” You squeak. “What do you--” 
“Look, honey buns, I’m not asking you,” he turns and keeps his hand around your wrist, walking you forward as if you’re on a leash. 
You’re confused. What does he mean? He doesn’t even know what he’s doing. What kind of man just does this spontaneously? 
“Erm, Lloyd,” you say softly, “it’s... not too late to take me back.” 
“Ah, but you’re wrong, sweet stuff. It’s way too late,” he snickers. “I scrubbed the traffic cams and the surveillance at the grocery store. It’s all gone. You’re gone.” He stops you in a bright foyer and faces you, “I don’t give my toys back.” 
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project-sonadow · 9 months
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My [15M] rival [15/50M] has been weirdly aggressive towards me ever since he lost his memories for the second(?) time. Should I be worried about him trying to kill me again?
Summary
A post on r/relationship_advice by u/Chili_Dog1991
EDIT 1: Stop saying I'm Sonic I'm not.
EDIT 2: Okay I am Sonic. I don't see how that matters.
EDIT 3: Stop trying to figure out which of my rivals this is.
EDIT 4: Stop telling me to contact the police about his attempts to murder me or his age. It's complicated in regards to his age but he's essentially 15 and I can already defend myself way better than the police can in regards to his murder attempts. Also the police would probably try to arrest me too because they're either useless or make things actively worse.
EDIT 5: Stop DMing me to ask how murder attempts can be fun. I shouldn't have to explain this.
EDIT 6: Stop implying I'm a masochist.
EDIT 7: Stop implying I'm an adrenaline junkie. If I just wanted adrenaline I've got tons of other people who could give me that.
EDIT 8: To everyone who actually responded with advice, thank you. I attempted to talk to him about it, we fought again, and it turns out he's been acting aggressive because he doesn't know how to show affection so he just defaults to violence. We ended up holding hands after we physically couldn't fight anymore. It was a great night and I think we're together now.
EDIT 9: Which of you motherfuckers sent this to Tails.
ORIGINAL POST
Hi everyone, using a throwaway account to make this post because my little brother knows my main and the embarrassment would kill me if he ever saw this. 
So for context, I've known this guy for a while now, at least in the context of my life. I've got a pretty hectic life and I'm a traveler, so I've met a lot of people and he's one of the few that's been able to keep up with me. Our first meeting was during a bit of a stressful time because he kind of inadvertently framed me for thievery (we look kinda alike and the police are stupid, it's not his fault but I was pretty pissed at the time) and got me arrested, so we ended up fighting about it in the middle of the street. I'm used to fighting and pretty good at it, so it was a surprise when he turned out to be basically my equal at it, which is pretty rare even among my other rivals. He got the upper hand on me for long enough that the police were able to arrest me again. I was pretty mad but also impressed. Our second meeting was even more stressful because I had just got out of jail after being arrested for the second time, and I was still angry about it so we fought again. I was about to win but then it turned out we were both in danger along with some friends of mine so we both left as fast as we could. Both of these times I could tell he was taking the fight seriously, but I could also tell he wasn't trying to KILL ME kill me. Y'know?
Anyway, in our next meeting he was definitely trying to kill me. Outright said it to my face. I won that fight thankfully, and I'm not even angry about it because a lot of people have tried to kill me over the years and also he has some kind of goal I was getting in the way of, and he didn't even succeed. He ended up changing his mind about that goal though, and when we next saw each other we were on the same side trying to deal with a mutual threat. 
And it was at that point I kind of realized I was in love. I've never really wanted a relationship because I thought it would get in the way of my lifestyle, but with this guy specifically it wouldn't be a problem. I would have told him about it, but then I thought he died and I didn't see him for a while. I wasn't too broken up about it because we only knew each other for a couple days, but I was still sadder than I thought I would have been.
He ended up coming back to life though, and he had lost his memories for the second time in his life (long story I'm not gonna get into) and he didn't really remember me anymore. I know from a mutual friend of ours that he remembered me well enough to be annoyed by my name, which made me irrationally happy, and I think he did end up getting his memories back, but when we first saw each other he definitely didn't know who I was. We fought again, it was a tie, and then we ended up teaming up to take down a mutual enemy again. 
Things have been a bit less chaotic since then. We've fought a couple more times but nothing serious, he's saved my life, I've saved his, you know how it goes. We haven't really talked about anything that happened, but that's fine because neither of us have ever been much for verbal communication and we understand each other just fine. I've tried getting over my crush on him, but that's never really worked because we see each other a lot due to our lifestyles and we have some mutual friends in common, and I like spending time with him anyways, even if we're just beating each other up most of the time.
Personality wise, he's basically my polar opposite, but we get on pretty well despite that. I think aside from my general attraction to danger and his ability to match me in a fight and a race that might be the main thing that draws me to him. I've got a lot of friends, but never one so different from me and yet so similar. He's just always been special to me.
But the main reason I'm making this post is because despite all we've been through, he still acts like we're enemies at worst and temporary allies at best. We fight almost every time we meet unless something less serious is going on, and he's pretty grumpy and mean to me all the time. I like this about him, but it does make me question if he even sees me as anything more than a rival, and I don't know how to ask him because we don't talk about weird emotional stuff. I also think that asking him directly could maybe lead to another murder attempt, which would be fun, but it's not what I'm looking for anymore. I don't mind all the fighting, but just once I'd like to kiss him on the mouth instead of punching his teeth in, y'know?
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spirantization · 10 months
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"Wild Blue Yonder" dealt with some of the emotional fallout of the Flux, so I want to rewind a bit and look at what that means for the Doctor.
I know that the Timeless Child and the Flux are contentious topics. I'm not here to argue either way. But now those storylines have decisively not been retconned, and with both of these fresh in my memory, I feel the need to offer some context for anyone who may not have seen it, and to recontextualize it for myself and anyone who has.
NotDonna: You don't know where you're from. The Doctor: How do you know that? How does anyone know? How does Donna know?
In "The Timeless Children", we find out that the Doctor was discovered as a child alone under a wormhole, and adopted by a woman named Tecteun. There was an accident where the Doctor fell from a cliff and regenerated, and subsequently Tecteun performed "experiments" on them to try to understand regeneration. The show minces words about this but she killed a child a whole bunch of times is what happened. Her experiments created the Time Lords and allow them to engineer their regeneration properties. The Doctor has no memory of any of this, and only finds out via the Master and information stored in the Time Lord Matrix.
The Doctor, predictably, doesn't tell anyone about this revelation. She makes a speech to the Master about how this makes her more, we get a single shot of her looking a bit tired in the TARDIS, then she immediately gets thrown in prison.
Ultimately, the Doctor doesn't know where they're from or who their parents are. And the very fact that they're not from Gallifrey is information that no one in the universe should have. Everyone who knew is now dead.
NotDonna: I saw it in your head. The Flux. The Doctor: It destroyed half the universe because of me. We stand here now, on the edge of creation, a creation which I devastated, so yes I keep running, of course I do! How am I supposed to look back on that? NotDonna: It wasn't your fault! The Doctor: I know!
A fun fact about the Flux is that the Doctor did not cause it. So why does he blame himself? Because the person who caused the Flux was Tecteun.
The reason why Tecteun wanted to destroy the universe is because the Doctor interfered with things too much. Too much morality. Too inspirational to people. She calls them a virus. So her solution to the problem of the Doctor is to destroy the universe, with the Doctor inside, and take her ship to a different universe to start fresh. She also was the one to steal all the Doctor's memories of previous lives in the first place. She's dismissive and patronizing and clearly does not care about the Doctor on an emotional level at all. Tecteun is a piece of work, and the implications of her actions and how they've shaped the Doctor have the potential to go deep.
Thirteen doesn't get too much of a chance to react to any of this, because there is plot going on. And shortly after they reunite, Tecteun gets killed by a different villain. So there was no emotional closure in the moment, and there's now no possibility for the Doctor to make sense of her actions. The Doctor does not tell any of her friends about any of these events. She keeps promising to tell Yaz but does not.
"Wild Blue Yonder" is the first time we, as the audience, hear the Doctor discuss the Flux. And their perception of events is skewed at best. The Flux wasn't caused because the Doctor made a mistake and a lot of people were killed, which is what you can argue for many other situations. The Flux and the devastation of the universe was caused by their mother, who promptly turned around and told them it was their fault for being such an interfering nuisance. We know that the Doctor is often an unreliable narrator, but this is beyond that. These are the words of an abused child who has internalized the narrative that the abuse was their fault.
So the Doctor being able to talk about this with Donna, who has seen what happened, who knows him, and tells him that it's not his fault — it means so much to him. He wants it to be her so badly. And then NotDonna laughs in his face. You can see the devastation. He thinks for one moment that he can finally talk about this with his best friend, and it's snatched away from him. He gives himself a moment to break down in the corridor, and then you can see the walls rebuilding as he suppresses it all again.
At the very end of the episode, back in the TARDIS, he's trying very very hard to be nonchalant. I'm curious. The NotDonna could remember all these things that happened to me while we were apart. Can you? Just wondering. Things happened, but I'll be fine. In a million years. It's not a joke.
He wants so badly to be able to talk about this. You can see it in all the lines of his body language. He's keeping himself together but is prepared to fall apart in an instant. He doesn't want to actually tell anyone, but if Donna just magically knew already, and could tell him it wasn't his fault — well, that would make the world of difference. But she doesn't know, and he can't bring himself to tell her. And so the cycle continues.
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deeswrld · 1 year
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Random astro observations
Some content is 18+
I’ve noticed people with Sagittarius/9H placements always seem to stand out in the field they pick or in some sort of way become pioneers. E.g. Jimi Hendrix was a Sag stellium and has a reputation of a guitar God for his innovative and crazy good guitar skills. Teena Marie (Sag moon) became a beloved non black R&B singer/artist at Motown. I just feel like Sag placements are just out here breaking barriers lol.
People with trining risings all have a certain similar look!!
E.g Most Air risings tend to have pointy chins and high cheekbones with prominent noses—I’ve noticed they always seem to have a prominent nose bridge even if it’s not that thin but it sorta gives them this Greek god/goddess look with their eyebrows slightly arching.
With water risings I’ve noticed Scorpio risings have a more reserved look in their eyes and all water risings have a somewhat oval shaped face. You can literally tell them by their eyes lol. Cancer risings have bambi eyes and Pisces risings have doll like watery eyes.
Now, I knew I started recognizing earth risings when I found Sarah Paulson to look like Adele.😭 Which further goes to prove the trining risings point I made previously.
I think I’ve stated this before but hear me out! Idk what the connection is but the moon sign also affects how you look!! I fr can’t stop guessing people’s moon signs at first glance.💀
Libra rising with 1H venus & mercury culture is constantly teasing others!! Wanting to be in a relationship yet wanting to be independent and having no problem breaking things off if they feel something’s not right.
Gemini risings with 10H suns have an INSANE bone structure/hot body!!! 😮‍💨🔥 Their arms & legs tend to be long! Legs tend to be skinny and thighs thick meanwhile their collarbones just stand out, overall they just have great bone structure! I’ve noticed this with myself & Irene Cara! 😩
I’d apply it to 10H suns in general but I haven’t looked into it as a collective thing yet.
11H Aries mercuries only speak what they think is true to them regardless of anybody’s opinion and I love how real they keep it, they’re also very humanitarian and speak up for groups/communities!
Pisces and Aquarius in the big 3 HATE boundaries. I’ve noticed this with myself and Axl Rose!😂 Ironically I’m Pisces sun-Aqua moon and he’s Aqua sun-Pisces moon.😛
I’ve noticed a pattern with people that have Aqua venus and mars and being aggressive…🥲
Taurus venus love soul/R&B music?
I’ve noticed some 10H Chiron people have trouble with work like, they might switch jobs often.
8H Chiron and having a phobia of being touched by anybody and for no reason too?
People who’s planets fall in your 9H might be the ones who you rarely see crying but are the first to try and cheer you up! You might also see them as arrogant or too blunt at times too especially if their mercury falls in your 9H!
People who’s planets fall in your 10H, you’ll see them as reserved and hardworking, they might like to give you stuff as a love language like share their food or they might like to invite you to go somewhere. Even though it might feel a little awkward at times, you both might get into deep conversations.
Not Gemini suns with Leo moons out here causing chaos then if somebody else asks them about it they’ll charmingly lie their way out of it and make it seem like it was the other person’s fault.😭😂
Scorpio mars lowkey live for toxic sex. ✋🏽 Some Scorpio mars & Aries mars I know, also secretly have a spanking kink??😛
If you have mars in somebody’s 1H they just won’t be able to contain themselves around you! You might sexually fantasize about them a LOT too. And you’ll find them hot down to the way they talk, their body language!!😮‍💨🔥
And if somebody’s mars falls in your 1H you’re prone to getting horny like 24/7 and it’ll feel like an intense and passionate connection! Sex might be like, ripping each other’s clothes off and one get thrown on the bed while the other dominates them and they both make out while grabbing each other—basically just not being able to keep your hands off of each other lmao. Also, having sex anywhere too and going for multiple rounds during the day!💀🔥
That also applies to Aries mars in composite too!⤴️⤴️
Pisces and Sagittarius suns—when they’re not at each other’s throats—actually make a good pair!❣️
Earth suns with Earth mars are so sensual and sexy😩😩😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨!!!
Having composite mars at Libra degree (7, 19) can indicate compliments and vanilla sex!😮‍💨
If somebody has their mars in your 7H, most likely they’ll be super possessive over you. 😭
If someone has their venus in your 7H then you’ll feel very comfortable with their love language or feel like you’ve found the one!💗
Sagittarius mars in composite is often grabbing thighs, giggles or soft laughter, a somewhat competitive energy and possessive aura.❣️Also, wanting to travel and explore new places together or talking about moving or including each other in future plans! Also, learning new things from each other or talking about subjects like geography/history and genealogy or about different cultures! You both could be from different backgrounds too or similar but one person is mixed, etc…
Also, when looking at appearance not only should we consider the rising but also the 7H! Say if you’re a Gemini rising; You might be able to build muscle easily or have long legs yet thick thighs because Sag falls in your 7H and Libra is also ruled by venus. Just like how Aries risings tend to have charming smiles and great bodies (7H falls in Libra), etc…
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