#i haven’t posted anything because i’ve had some family shit happening

[memray]

i love when people write gale’s tower to be TARDIS like

that’s all

[stardew-shitposterino]

The Bachelors and how they’d react if you asked them to start a family

Same old same old. This post is inspired by @babiebom 's post about the bachelor/ettes and how many kids they’d have :3 I’m not really a person who is too keen on children and being a housewife, but I can’t deny that the thought of a picture perfect family does warm my heart, girlies. Enjoy 💅🏻🍼

Some answers are gender specific. I hope to anyone playing the game as a same sex couple that you can look past that 🙏🏻

Sam:

-he’d be boots the house down in total shock

-don’t get it twisted, he is ecstatic, but damn he didn’t expect it to be this soon

-of course he is excited about every life stage of his potential little ones, but he can’t wait to have someone he can teach how to skate

-„really? A-and you’re not joking or anything? RAD!“

-maybe he is a bit too excited as he‘s definitely ripping his pants off his body as soon as the message sunk in

-„Oh you didn’t mean we should start it right now? Sorry my bad 😅“

Sebastian:

-he is happy but can’t really show it

-anxiety is kicking hard rn

-it’s not that he doesn’t want this, but he has so many worries, after all he had lived through himself

-he definitely needs some time to think about this

-„Y/N, I’d really love to have this with you one day, but please give me time to adjust to this. It’s a lot for me to process.“

-he will eventually open up about it and you agree on not rushing things. If you’re an opposite sex couple, you agree on starting a family once you’re pregnant. No planning, just living and if it happens, it happens (it probably happened after like 2 months after you had the talk lol)

Elliott:

-„Heavens, Love! What wonderful news. I’ve been waiting for this moment. This will be the start of our legacy!“ (excuse me bruuuhh this is how I imagine him talk lol)

-he had heart-shaped eyes if you haven’t noticed

-as much as he loves the romance and allure of being a childless couple with a world to their feet, he can’t kick the idea of being a wholesome dad raising a curious child with his wonderful partner

-he emphasises on not rushing things as he doesn’t want you to feel pressure. He knows how stressful your job is so he doesn’t want you to feel overwhelmed though you proposed that idea first

-you can bet your ass you went to bed after that talk 👀 WHO SAID THAT 🤨

Harvey:

-he is a blushy mess thank you and amen

-he‘s so anxious but also so excited

-no way you actually proposed this to him. He actually accepted his fate as a childless bachelor

-but here he is, finally getting the happy little family he always wanted

-but it isn’t smooth sailing with him, oh no. You can bet your ass he has to calculate everything through before he feels comfortable enough starting to bring this wish to reality

-you know, you earn a shit ton of money but he is anxious ok. He needs to KNOW the child won’t end up homeless with nothing to wear once it’s here

-“Oh this is all so new and, I-I don’t even know how to say it without it sounding wrong. I just can’t grasp that this is happening. Pinch me so I know I’m not dreaming”

-you didn’t sleep with each other that day but a make-out sess was in it. A wholesome one to say the least. This man is wholesome in my books 📕

Shane:

-the only thing missing here is that he fainted and fell to the floor after you popped the question

-say WHAT NOW?!

-no way. He probably heard it wrong. You didn’t just ask HIM to have YOUR children… no wait the other way around. This is what that question did to his brain lol

-or generally having kids together. He isn’t opposed to adopting because he fears the kids will inherit his messed up brain so taking in kids that are in need of a nice, welcoming home doesn’t sound bad either

-but no wait wait back to the topic; he’s a MESS

-he always wanted children and a family in general, the very boring ass white picket fence fantasy is what he longed for but kind of accepted that it’s something he cannot have. Well guess what…HE CAN

-“wait…did you- and you mean with me? Or is there someone else I should know about? Ok sorry bad joke. But you mean it?! Really? A little sibling for Jas🥹”

-just know this burly man started crying a river of joy tears. But once the tears dried and it kicked in 👀

-“ok if we want this to work out we gotta get to business 😎”

Alex:

-like Shane, he waited for this moment

-just he isn’t anxious like some of the others, he straight up jumps for joy lol

-“BABE NO WAY! I’ve been waiting for this!”

-he is a happy crier tho. Expect him to cry a little but in a good way

-but also expect him to propose the question of having a lot more kids in the future. He wants a football team of kids. But the amount is still negotiable of course (you gave him the “spouse stare” which made him go down a notch lol)

- he will babble about what gender the first kid might be, what he’d do with them depending on it and how he’d get them the smallest grid ball jerseys you’ll ever see because “LOOK THEY ARE SO TINY”

-like some of the others, he might be a bit too eager to start the baby project. Even if you can’t conceive yourself, he will live out that fantasy. You prepared yourself for this because it was very much predictable lol

[tgmsunmontue]

From the top 1/? (WIP)

IceMav, (eventual) Explicit, (background Hangster who are already established). Set post-TGM. (No dead Ice obviously).

Featuring not-mistaken identities (where they (Ice and Mav) pretend to be in the dark for REASONS), Ice is Jake's Uncle Tom, Mav is Bradley's Dad, everyone knows everyone, (un)requited love, coming out as an older person, and a little bit of a circus-vibe where Ice has a horrible realization that this is indeed his circus and these are also his monkeys.

An AU where Mav married Carole and adopted Bradley to make things easier legally. A USNA Bradley who has been very careful to separate Dad/Pete from godfather/Maverick. They had an argument prior to TGM, but it was around Maverick being careless with his life (RE: Darkstar because Bradley got the call that Maverick was missing, presumed dead). So it was about risk taking and thinking while flying, so that was happening and Bradley admits to the Dagger Squadron that Maverick is his godfather and they have a ‘complicated relationship’ which isn’t a lie per se, however it’s… complicated.

                He and Bradley haven’t reached the stage yet where they’ve met any of each other’s family. They haven’t even introduced each other to their friends as boyfriends yet, and their circle of friends overlap. And he’s okay with that. More than okay actually. Doesn’t quite know how he’d broach the whole by the way I’m sort of related to the COMPACFLT through my mom conversation. He’s close with Tom now, closer than he is to any of his mom’s other cousins that’s for sure. Idolized him when he was young, and now also holds a deep-rooted respect and affection for the man. It had also helped knowing he had someone to look to as a role model, someone who was gay in the Navy and got so high up no-one could do anything to him now. Jake wanted that. Badly.

                But he also kind of wants his Uncle Tom to be happy. Although, hell, for all he knew he could have had a secret lover all these years. If anyone could keep it hidden it’s Uncle Tom, face quiet and impassive, unmoving and unflinching. He’d really hoped for a callsign half as cool as Iceman, and even if Uncle Tom jokes that he does have a literal half with man, he wishes he didn’t have the connotations of Hangman, even if it’s because of fucking song lyrics he was forever quoting and now twisted into something that make people assume things before they even know him.

                Not that he really has that problem now, with the Dagger Squadron being made a permanent detachment and with them all knowing each other so well now. They know he’s got their backs when it actually comes down to it. And he likes being based where his Uncle Tom is, because while he’s meant to be based in Hawaii they’ve made some concessions due to his cancer treatment. He knows their entire family is grateful, not least his Aunty Sarah. God, he knows it’s the high of surviving a literal suicide mission but life feels so good right now. He’s expecting Bradley to turn up any minute, they’ve got plans for dinner and a movie and then sex, not necessarily in that order.

                When he opens his door and Rooster is there, he can’t help the little happy swoop his insides do and he lets Bradley kiss him hello.

                “Hi.”

                “Hi. How are you?”

                “Good. Little annoyed… my dad is talking about getting back together with an ex…”

                “Is this the ex you like, or don’t like?”

                “You can safely bet money that it’s nearly always an ex I don’t like. I don’t think he’s ever had a relationship with anyone I’ve actually liked… shit that’s depressing.”

                “Maybe you just have really high standards for him?”

                “You mean unlike for myself, where my standards are really low?”

                “Hey!”

                They end up play-wrestling which quickly morphs into not-play making-out and yeah, the sex comes before dinner but he was sort of banking on that, making food that would be perfectly fine just staying warm in the oven. They end up curled around each other on the sofa, queuing up a movie and Jake asks about his day. Listens as Bradley talks about going out to Maverick’s hangar to work on the plane, having lunch with his dad and he wonders if Maverick has met Bradley’s step-dad. Obviously he must have, he’s been around even longer, although it must be weird to have two people called Pete wandering around, he guesses that’s why Bradley calls Maverick Maverick, and his step-dad dad. Stops the confusion.

                He knows Maverick and Bradley had a falling out of some sort, they’d been very angry with each other. He figured out that Maverick flew with Bradley’s dad, was the pilot when his dad died, and he’d thought it had been that. But then Bradley had dropped the bombshell that Maverick was his godfather and they’d had a fight over something he can’t talk about, but they would be fine. So Jake hasn’t pushed wanting to also hang out with Maverick, because when Bradley talks about the P-51 and the hangar his fingers itch but he gets Bradley wanting to mend bridges with his godfather.

                More than that though he wants to meet Bradley’s step-dad, doesn’t understand Bradley’s reticence about introducing them. It’s not like he’s going to care. But they’ve only been doing this, whatever it is, for a couple of weeks, which he guesses is early days, but with everything they’ve gone through in the last couple of months it also feels like several lifetimes. Then again, he’s in no rush to introduce Bradley to Uncle Tom, so maybe it’s for the best they wait a few weeks. Or months.

                “You still thinking about your dad?”

                “Yeah. I just need to get him seeing someone else. Anyone to take his mind off getting back with Georgia. Or any of his exes for that matter. Georgia especially is… well. I have no idea what she gets out of sleeping with Dad. She’s anti military for a start.”

                “The fact that she gets to sleep with him?”

                “Ew, gross…”

                “Maybe she thinks she can convert him to a non-military life one blowjob at a time…”

                “You could try that on me you know, see if you can convince me to do something with a blowjob…”

                “Don’t think I need the promise of a bj to convince you to do anything,” Jake says with a grin. “You know, my uncle Tom is gay, maybe we could set them up? Well, assuming your dad swings both ways?”

                “Huh. Yeah… He does. Keeps that pretty much on the down-low, very much on a need to know basis. Pretty sure I only know because I saw him trying to sneak a guy out when I was seventeen. Did make me feel safer about coming out to him myself though.”

…            …            …

                “Jake, I am not installing Grindr on my phone, work, personal or otherwise.”

                “Thought you might say that, so I bought you a burner. Well, please don’t actually burn it, but you know what I mean.”

                “Jake…” Tom lets out an exasperated sigh. “I wouldn’t burn it. I know what a burner is. I’m not an idiot. I just don’t want to go on a date…”

                “Okay, so you don’t actually have to go on a date. All my cards on the table. I’m using the app to introduce you to the step-dad of my… uh, a friend.”

                “A friend huh? Is this the same friend you won’t introduce to the family?”

                “Yes. The exact one. Anyway, I just want you to send him a couple of messages. Let’s say ten messages. After that you can go back to ignoring it, remove the battery from the phone and pretend it never happened. Okay?”

                “Will you let it go if I do this?”

                “I mean… yeah. I hope you make a friend or something, but he’s military as well, so you guys have something in common at least…”

                “Fine. But I want the name of your friend.”

                “No! You’ll just look him up.”

                “He’s Navy?”

                “No!”

                “He is! Good job.”

…            …            …

                “Bradley! Why is Grindr amongst my recently installed apps!”

                “I’m setting you up!” Bradley calls out, grabbing two beers to go with their takeout Chinese.

                “I don’t need setting up. I can find my own dates. I don’t need an app!”

                “Yes, you do. You can’t get back with Georgia just because you’re lonely. Look, I’m not going to make you swipe through dick-pics…”

                “Maybe I want to swipe through dick-pics!”

                “Mav, be serious! You just said you didn’t want the app!”

                “Seriously? You’re the one that installed Grindr on my phone.”

                “God, maybe this was an awful idea.”

                “Yeah, you think?”

                “Okay, give me a second,” Bradley mutters, rolling his eyes and pulling his own from his pocket and thumbing into his contacts.

                “Hi… how’s it going?” Jake asks, voice quiet, and he must still be at his Uncle’s house.

                “Not well. You think we can maybe just set them up with an app that blocks their numbers and then just let them talk that way?”

                “Can’t hurt to try… your dad resisting the Grindr approach too huh?”

                “So much. And I get it, HE’S REALLY OLD,” Bradley says, raising his voice while looking Mav dead in the eye.

                “Hey! I heard that!”

                “You were meant to!”

                He ignores the glare Mav shoots him and pokes his tongue out at the back of his head as he walks away.

                “Okay, let’s see what we can find. I’ll message you and let you know.”

                “Sure thing.”

                Fifteen minutes later Jake has sent him the information, an end-to-end encrypted messaging app, one which hides the number of the phone sending the message. It’s silent and has to be manually opened to check for notifications, which is very old-school but means there’s no potential odd sounding pings. The icon is a mundane looking tower symbol and he guesses that could mean anything.

                “Okay Mav – you need to give this guy a chance okay? Please?”

                “What’s in it for me?”

                “I will stop bothering you about… uh… your love life for six months?”

                “No deal. I want to meet the guy you just rang. Who’s he in all this?”

                “Uh… I guess he’s my boyfriend.”

                “Ooohhh… it’s new huh? You’re in that new loved-up stage where you want everyone around you to be in the same stage.”

                “Uh, I mean we’ve known each other for years, but we’ve recently… come to an arrangement.”

                “Is it boyfriends or friends with benefits?”

                “Well, we weren’t exactly friends before, so definitely closer to boyfriends I guess,” Bradley says, carefully skirting the fact that Mav actually already knows Jake quite well.

                “Great. I’ll send what, ten messages to this guy and then I get to meet your guy in two weeks.”

                “No! Three months. And twenty messages.”

                “You realize you can’t force me to do anything right? You have no bargaining power here?”

                “I know, but… for me?”

                “Ugh… sad cow eyes. Fine fine, put them away. I’ll message the guy. But I do want to meet your guy when you feel the timing is right.”

                “Yeah, of course.”

                God he hopes this works because he has no idea if Mav will like the fact he’s with Jake or not.

…            …            …

                They meet up every week when they’re both in the same place, and it’s been a treat these last few months, but also a trial. Usually the distance has been a unintended blessing, making his unfortunate case of unrequited love easier to ignore. When he was younger he’d thought it was just a crush, that it would just… fade away. Instead the opposite has happened, time and distance have hardened and solidified similar to how pressure and temperature turn limestone into marble his love for Maverick is a solid and unmoving object that is ever present. Every time Mav walks through his front door he has to fight the urge to enfold him in his arms and just hold him. Every time.

                “Did you ever want kids of your own?” Pete asks and Tom startles, looks across at him.

                “No. I have nieces and nephews and cousin’s kids coming out my ears. They’re enough trouble to be getting on with, without adding my own genes to the mix. Wasn’t ever going to happen anyway,” he tacks on, and he wonders if this, today, this moment, will be the time it twigs and Mav will ask what he means.

                “Too much trouble by half. Do you know what Bradley did the other day? Installed a dating app on my phone.”

                “What? Why would he do that?”

                “He thought I was considering getting back with Georgia for some reason.”

                “And you’re not?”

                “No. Anyway, he’s trying to set me up with someone. At least you don’t have to worry about that.”

                “You’d be surprised. My cousins kid bought me a phone, a burner phone, with a dating app installed on it.”

                “Oh yeah? Which one?”

                Tom swallows.

                Okay.

                No more subtle hints.

                It’s now or never.

                “Grindr.”

                He didn’t purposely wait for Mav to have a sip of his drink, but he still sprays it out across the coffee table, eyes bugging out and he can’t seem to look Tom in the eye and he feels his stomach start to sink.

                “You… ah… you know that app is for gay guys right?”

                “I’m aware.”

                Pete just stares at him and he wonders if this is it. The moment his best friend just gets up and walks out of his life.

                “You never told me.”

                “You never asked.”

                “Yeah well, there was a whole thing about not asking and not telling until about ten years ago so… sorry if I thought you’d have maybe mentioned it. Or at least… alluded to it.”

                “I did Pete. With something called subtlety. I know it’s not your strong suit, but I tried to leave it there in the open for you to pick up on. I’m only just… getting to the grips with the idea of being more out.”

                “Okay. Uh. Does anyone else know?”

                Tom snorts.

                “Yeah, my whole family for a start. Had to get them to stop trying to marry me off. Slider of course.”

                “Why of course? Why Slider?”

                “He’s known me for a very long time.”

                “I’ve known you for a long time.”

                He doesn’t want to mention that Slider figured it out, because he’s had to learn to be subtle, and his weak point has and will always be the man in front of him. And he can never let him know. Still, Mav sounds annoyed.

                “Slider figured it out. He’s too perceptive for his own good,” Tom mutters, because he’s also the one person who knows about his lifelong torch bearing.

                “Huh. Okay.”

…            …            …

                Tom locks the house up, Mav having left to go home after Tom had soundly beaten him at chess. He knows it isn’t one of Mav’s favorite games, that he really only plays to humor Tom and give them something to do while they talk… his brain is catching on something and it’s going to bother him until he figures it out. Pete. Playing chess simply to spend more time with him...

                He stops.

                Blinks.

                Pete had said Bradley had installed a dating app on his phone.

                Within a day of Jake giving him a phone with Grindr installed, which quickly morphed to a simple encrypted messaging service.

                He’s learnt to not ignore his gut and this is deeply suspicious with the coincidence.

                He wonders if Jake and Bradley are dating. The idea of that makes him smile, even if it’ll cause an administrative nightmare. He knows they know each other, they’re part of the same squadron and there are rules, however it wouldn’t surprise him at all if both Bradley and Jake decided that that particular rule was for other people.

                Wait.

                He suddenly needs to know which app it is exactly that Bradley installed and he has his phone in his hand ringing him before he even considers the time of night, or where Bradley might be right now.

                “Hey Uncle Ice… Everything okay?”

                “Hey Bradley. Sorry for the late call, Just, uh, Mav mentioned you installed a dating app on his phone. You mind telling me which one it was?”

                “Uh… Grindr. Why?”

                “Oh. No reason. Just curious Thanks. Have a good night.”

                Why would Bradley install Grindr.

                Maverick’s not gay.

                To his knowledge Maverick isn’t even bisexual. Or anything else that might imply he’s anything other than overwhelmingly heterosexual.

                Maverick didn’t say anything tonight when he learnt about Tom’s own sexuality.

                Maybe Bradley knows something Tom doesn’t.

                Scratch that.

                Bradley definitely knows something Tom doesn’t.

CHAPTER TWO

[mmmeto]

Tummy flu this weekend 🤢

Would share audio that I took but it’s not really anything good, to be honest. Either way, figured you guys might wanna hear the run-down of this weekend’s stomach bug.

I believe it started Friday night with a bit of an upset stomach. My head was hurting too, so I brushed it off as a lack of water or too much fried food (I work fast food, so free meal = fried shit lol). Woke up Saturday morning feeling twice as bad, and my belly had gone from hurting and upset to outright queasy. I had a full 8-hour shift starting early morning to mid-afternoon, so I simply chugged some water and worked through it. At that point, I didn’t think I was actually sick, but… well, I should’ve.

Cue the end of my shift. I ate a little something afterwards because why not, right? Went home and went straight to bed, since I was pretty exhausted. Woke up a few hours later and felt very, very nauseous. Dinner was made by family, so I tried to eat some. God, there’s where my mistake was.

The next few hours were pretty rough, to be honest. I was lying in bed with an awful, gurgly belly, gas buildup and nausea both really bad. A few times I got up for the bathroom, but the most that ever happened was some awful gas that did little to make me feel better. It was so embarrassing, sitting there and hugging my belly, hoping things would settle.

Things didn’t settle well after that, and all morning yesterday (Sunday) I was feeling suuuper rough. Lots of diarrhea, a bit of acid reflux or vomit, not really sure which. Stomach was a mess, couldn’t stop burping or… y’know, otherwise. I was in and out of the bathroom, lying in bed for most of it, too. The trash bin by my bedside didn’t really get used, but boy, was I glad to have it there just in case.

Woke up this morning feeling alright, thankfully. Managed to eat a bit and have been drinking water, and I haven’t had much issue. At least, nothing worth mentioning. I think the worst of it’s over with, but man… it was a rough go for a bit there.

Not sure if I’ll have audio to post, gonna have to relook at what I’ve got and see what can be done with it. It’s not even that good of quality, which is disappointing, so we’ll see.

[mingos]

*crawls out of the ground like a mole, coughing up copious amounts of dirt*

so, hello.

    i try to keep things as vague & light as possible when referencing my homelife because, honestly, the last time i brought up anything tangentially related i was essentially told “you being upset is making other people upset and ruining the fun” so being anything other than ✨chaotic positivity gremlin wilder ✨ here makes me paranoid, hence why i’ll just disappear for weeks sometimes. 

but. 

i’ve clearly been gone for a bit, will probably be gone for a bit longer, and since i’ve been getting messages from folks wanting to check in on me i wanna give a more detailed update than usual. i feel guilty for not responding directly, but for reasons i can’t get detailed on other than “the idea of having a conversation with 99.9% of people right now is terrifying” (is this what being nonverbal is, chat?) with even the .1% being a super recent development, a queue post into the void is my solution.

i won’t get that detailed, but if light references to domestic abuse, addiction, or just family issues in general are hard subjects for you - nothing past this paragraph is too pertinent anyway, so don’t worry about having to stop. all you gotta know is that some Bad Stuff with family happened, but i’m safe & i’ll be back in maybe another week or something. 

anyways. i was living out of hotels for about 3 weeks. 

more like 16-17 days if you want to get technical because 4 of those days i had an actual scheduled hotel for my twin’s wedding at the end of august - but i’ve basically been bouncing around since august 21st. the night of the 20th, i had a horrific fight with my family member and, for the first time ever, i left. don’t know if would call it brave on my part - since we were leaving for a trip anyway, this is just the first time my suitcase was already packed.

right now, i’ve been at another relative’s house since the 11th. i tried to go back on the 1st because, even after years of this, i’m apparently way too easy to convince everything is going to be fine…  but by the 2nd i was out of there again. 

currently mulling over my next move here because, as much as the common sense answer is to stay away, anybody who’s unfortunate enough to deal with this knows how complicated it is. i’m scared for this person’s safety as much as i am for my own. no one else really checks on them, and i’ve already had to deal with several medical emergencies they’ve had like bad falls & breathing problems. i don’t like leaving them alone for long because the guilt at the thought of something bad happening to them and no one knowing for possibly days or weeks eats me up.

i logically know i’ll have to get past that eventually because i can’t let my life be dictated by this incredibly toxic cycle forever or i’ll never be happy, but now isn’t the time. they also have a dog who would similarly be put at risk if something happened to them, so it’s a lot for me to worry about.

but, having said all that, we’re currently in the apology stage or i guess the negotiation stage because, after the shit that happened this time, i’m making it perfectly clear i’m not stepping foot in that house until they do something. detox, treatment, rehab, disulfiram, soberlink, therapy – something. we’re kind of running out of things for them to try at this point, but at least they used to try. they haven’t really been doing that this past year and I’m the one suffering the most because of it.

so yeah, that’s where things are at the moment. i’m mentally not doing so hot - but I’ve got my dog, and being able to sleep in a bed i’m familiar with for a change and not a hotel (I spent so much money on hotels, guys i’m cooked) is nice relief while I wait out whatever the hell is happening. talking to them over the phone again pretty much drains any of the energy I’ve got back, but it sounds like they’re starting to "get it' so hopefully they’ll start to take this seriously again because I can really only take one more year of this (if even) until I just need to accept these things aren’t my responsibility and move on.

honestly, having a close-knit group of friends/support system for the first time in years has really reminded me of that and given me the confidence to take a lot of steps to live for myself for a change, and to think about prioritizing my own happiness for once, which wasn’t the place i was in at this time last year, or the year before that, or the year before that - so I just want to say thank you again to anyone whose ever helped talk me through something or really just been nice to me at all. this is why i always remember to be kind because it can genuinely do a lot for someone going through something, because i know it has for me.

anyway uhhhhh i hope you are all doing well, and with any luck i’ll be chilling on here by the start of october. can’t miss spooky month and this insufferable pink bird’s birthday, after all.

much love.

[realpontchartrain]

Wait you know actual new orleans voodoo??? Learning something new pretty much every time you post is the coolest thing. Fnkfndifn that's sick as fuck. Can't wait to learn even more about you cause you're fascinating as fuck. How are you so cool lol??? And how do you get cooler with everything I fucking learn???

Why the hell isn’t tumblr notifying me of asks/submissions lately… but yes, I do! I come from a family of women who have been voodoo Priestesses/Queens in New Orleans, and I am technically considered a Queen myself because I eventually learned and perfected my craft enough to practice it for others. I believe it was my great-grandmother who was also a Queen, while my mom and grandmother were just Priestesses.

I used to talk about it all the time because Louisiana Voodoo is actually considered a dying religion now (it was practically killed after Katrina and everyone lost their roots and culture with gentrification, and seemingly nobody from our past few generations is teaching their children about it anymore), and I always felt like if I couldn’t do anything else about it, then the least I could do is speak of it and the experiences/knowledge I have of it passed down to me from the women who raised me in it and the ancestors before us.

It’s a very beautiful and sacred religion, as well as a huge part of my upbringing and religious identity, and as I said, subsequently why I decided to lean towards Catholicism again! I haven’t practiced in a while, except for friends of mine who come to me asking for some of my services and such. I’ve definitely got plenty of wild stories to share from it, such as watching my mother and I watching my grandmother get a pig’s throat slit over her while she bathed in its blood for some kind of ritual, probably a love or wealth spell of some sort, and that one bitch who kept fucking with Robbie and I all those years ago because he “rejected” her borderline ass before I cursed her and she, coincidentally or not, killed herself shortly after. And this one chick @lifelovergroupie had me curse who also happened to commit suicide recently. Yeah, now you see why i’m like this, but LMAO.

Anyway, thanks lmao. If there’s anything else you wanna know about this religion or anything about me in general, feel free to ask! Like I said, I always felt compelled to keep Louisiana/New Orleans Voodoo alive for as long as I can help it, and part of that is teaching it to my own children and other people in general (with limits as to prevent appropriation and shit). It’s sad what our culture and religion has become because of greedy white people taking over after Katrina — I swear New Orleans is practically unrecognizable from what I grew up around now — but it’s still beautiful, y’know?

[livin-like-larry413]

What is happening in the COD fandom? Who is celebrating??

This user has all the info you need. They took the time out of their days to gather as many resources as they could to try and find her, hopefully before anything bad had happened, but in the end made sure she was found and was there for the victims family. It’s devastating hearing about such a tragic loss, no matter where it you hear of it, but it’s especially heartbreaking when you learn of it being—once again—due to butthurt, immature, childish-minded people on the internet that think they’re entitled to spew hatred just because they see someone make a post they disagree with.

My heart breaks for her family, and I can’t imagine the devastation they’re going through, and I am disgusted with the people who were practically swarming this woman to attack her for truly no other reason at all, besides “because they could”. And because I know how vile people who do this shit online are, those that haven’t been caught yet are celebrating.

The minority of this fandom that thinks this kind of backwards, hateful mindset about what they view as “okay” to say to people, regarding literally anything to do with fandom that they disagree with, is disgusting and shameful to the people in the fandom like @sheheal and everyone else who tried to reach out and help @codslut. The people that hid behind their screens, who tormented and mentally tortured that poor woman for having a different view of a character than they did, should be ashamed of themselves for what they have done, but majority of them, if they can be found will likely have nothing to say other than something along the lines of“It wasn’t that serious” and “Well, it’s not my fault”. I’ve seen it enough times to know.

I’m upset it took me this long to know of it, but since I’m not even a cod fan to begin with and I was still able to find out about it, says everything about how serious this issue in fandom is becoming. It should NEVER get to this point, especially not from a lighthearted nsfw image post that people saw and got upset that the character Gaz wasn’t in. That is batshit, idiotic behavior, and is never okay.

I’ve been in fandom spaces and apart of fandom communities for 15 years, more than half the time I’ve been alive, and never in my life have I seen a fandom become so twisted so quickly as I have with CoD, and my god, have I been in some twisted fandoms. I am honestly truly speechless, disgusted and I am livid.

You can disagree with headcanons and image posts all you fucking want, but the second you start telling someone to end their life because they don’t pay attention to a certain character you like, or they don’t view the character the same way you do—you are a vile human being, and should no longer be allowed on the internet, because you have proven that you are not and have never been an adult.

You control your own internet experience. Interact with what you like. Block what you don’t. It’s that easy. Blocklists (where you omit things from your experience on the internet, and you don’t ever have to see again after submitting it) exist for a reason, and should be utilized more. Tumblr has them, has had them since it was created, and they’re limitless. If you see hate such as the likes of what’s happened recently, speak up on it and make sure it gets spread and known for what it is. Expose the toxicity in the situation as soon as possible and make the person spreading it be held accountable, if you’re able to. There’s enough hatred in the world already, and fandom is supposed to be a place you can go and experience joy.

Long story short, a lesson that somehow still needs to be stated: If you don’t like something you see—block it. Grow the fuck up, and mind your own fucking business. Keep your negativity to yourself. If it’s something you know is truly hurtful, speak up on it, but be respectful. Never be someone’s final straw that ends in their loss.

[shiftingdiariesofophelia]

i haven’t had much time for shifting lately (i started working again after being unemployed for like a year) so i’m gonna explain cute little aspects of my hogwarts dr to give myself motivation!!

-

1. Parties!

So, actual PARTY parties are only attended by 5th/6th/7th years. there’s an anti-asshole policy. anyone who’s being an ass, like breaking shit or trying to peer pressure people, get permabanned from ALL future parties unless they are specifically invited by the party’s main host (which like never happens). there’s smoking and drinking and they’re generally just a good time. the music playing always fits the vibe of the party. every month, a different house hosts a big party and it rotates between each of the houses. gryffindor parties tend to end with the most people blackout drunk, hufflepuff parties end with the most people stoned out of their minds, ravenclaws usually try to do fun games and themes every time, and slytherins hosting usually ends with people doing the biggest dares that usually cause some destruction of property (that we clean up) and/or someone in the hospital because they got dared to do some dumb shit. big parties are never hosted by 5th years, they’re only responsible for like birthday parties and smaller stuff. the big parties are typically ran by the prefects and the “party animals” of each house bouncing ideas off of one another. prefects do a good job of taking things down a little so that no one actually like dies or gets expelled, but the partiers still get fun and engaging ideas through. final touches/final say runs through the 7th year head boy and head girl of the respective house who’s hosting. if it’s a party thrown by all of the houses combined, and it’s after October 31st, Pumpkin King and Queen get final say. If it’s before, it’s the Pumpkin Prince and Princess from the year prior.

2. Pumpkin Court during the halloween party!

I’ve briefly mentioned Pumpkin King and Queen in a previous post, so let me elaborate more. There’s a Halloween Party hosted every year. again, parties are only for upperclassmen. 5th/6th years vote for, and two are crowned as the pumpkin prince and princess. sort of like prom prince/princess in this OR. then the 7th years vote two of their peers to be Pumpkin King and Pumpkin Queen. these titles are heavily respected within the school and these two are basically untouchable for the rest of the school year. there are several ways to get voted in. most of the time, people are voted in because they’re a Quidditch star or they happen to be the most popular couple in the grade who everyone actually likes. but sometimes, it’s the valedictorian, or the quiet person who’s kind to everyone, things like that. but it’s always someone fully deserving of the title and the acclaim that comes with it. of course everyone would want to hold the title, but there’s no bitterness afterwards because the two voted in always actually make sense and deserve it.

3. Family!

I’m a muggle-born witch. my parents noticed some odd things surrounding me when i was young, but never could have suspected that i’d be a witch. no one in my family tree (to our knowledge) has ever been a witch or wizard. if they were, it was kept secret from our family. this is intentional so that when i arrive in my dr, i can ask stupid questions because i’m not supposed to know anything about the wizarding world. my parents are kind, and considerate. above all else they trust that they raised me well enough to be self-sufficient and make good choices for myself. they’re proud of me for standing up for what’s right, in their eyes, i can do little to no wrong. i strive every day to honor them. my father, Anthony Adler (face claim David Harbor), runs his own business. he practices ethically, and he’s very successful in his endeavors. enough to always keep both of our bank accounts stocked with money, at least. And my mother, Willow Adler (face claim Winona Ryder), is incredibly mothering on nature. if i lose something, she’s always able to find it. if i need advice, she always knows the best course of action. they never judge me and they practice rational, gentle parenting. we have two dogs, named after two dogs I had in my OR. they’re both dobermen, though- so they’re not exactly the same dogs. more so to honor them i guess.

4. Experiences!

I’m shifting to the morning of my eleventh birthday, so that I can experience the magic of receiving my Hogwarts letter! Dumbledore comes personally to talk to my parents about what everything means and to invite them to a muggle-born orientation where staff further explains things to parents with magic children. i also want to experience shopping for first year for myself. i want to be fitted for robes at the robe shop. i want to pick out my owl at the owlry. but most importantly- i really want the feeling of my wand choosing ME. i’m shifting so early in the story so that i can experience everything for myself in the moment.

5. Camp!

Incoming first year muggle-borns are invited to a sort of summer training camp before their first year of school. It’s a ten day retreat in the Scottish Highlands that runs from june 1st to june 10th. You’re still invited to go to the camp if your birthday falls between the start of june and the start of school, that just means that all of the letters have to come out by may 31st. if you’re born before then, you get your letter on your birthday. if not, and you’re muggle born, you get it may 31st. The founder of the camp is a muggle-born witch who went to Hogwarts and was completely blindsided by how many of her peers already knew basic magic spells, while she could barely hold a wand. she eventually decided to open the camp as a way to teach kids who were starting out like her get ahead in the wizarding world. it’s completely free of charge in any way, and all muggle-born first years from any wizarding school worldwide are invited. they teach you things like when it’s appropriate to wear robes, a very loose rundown of how the ministry works, how to hold wands, how to set up for potion-making, the brief history of wizarding magic dating back to ancient greece, etc. it’s all the stuff magic born kids know so no one is ahead of anyone else unfairly going into school.

6. Alternative world magic!

Not all magic is sourced through the greek pantheon or lesser greek gods. there are different magic practices that are real and almost as powerful as wizardry that stem from other world religions and practices. for example, voodoo is practiced by certain people of African decent reliably in my dr. there are other branches- hoodoo, wicca, paganism, nordic, etc. wizardry is the most prominent, though. and other magic practices keep to themselves in their own secret societies. i just like knowing that there are other cultures out there practicing magic in different ways than we are.

[sirensplayhouse]

hii it’s ‘🪦’ anon. i wanted to come back for a quick second and share some stuff. recently, i’ve manifested so much stuff since i first sent an ask and even before that with only being in this year for two months.

month of janurary in order:

- my parents divorce being over after years (everything working out how we planned). this was also the reason i had got into LOA all those years ago, so i did cry for like a day straight, it was really my wakeup call.

- 2 week vacation to my favorite tropical area for the month of feburary (i just got back from traveling and i enjoyed myself sm)

- i tapped into the void state about two times that month as well. i affirmed for always being aware of when i’m in it.

- a healthier relationship with my family. the past few years i did struggle with feeling close with them but we’ve grown so much in a short amount of time now.

- 300 dollars worth of clothes + a skims dress (the package was gonna be way more and i had already spent a lot of money for the vacation in advance)

- three new pairs of desired shoes

- this was random but, my mom always gives me money monthly to spend freely or to save but i had already gotten that months worth. so i was like my mom is gonna give me more money, not even 30 minutes later she’s asking how much i wanted?? 😭😭

month of feburary in order:

- over the years my family has definitely gotten more lenient especially since i’m damn near grown LMAO but it feels nice to do stuff without feeling like there’s going to be consequences, so i manifested for my family to be more lenient with my desired things.

- to get rid of my cold/flu a few days before vacation. i had gotten “sick” (like a common cough and runny nose) from a family member. i haven’t been sick in years so i was genuinely pissed about it. i affirmed one night when i was sleepy to wakeup without the sickness, and when i woke-up it was gone.

- my sister got paid earlier than she expected. and the amount was a few more thousands than she normally would get. it was funny when she came to tell me because she always has to make a joke out of everything. 😭

- my mothers approval for more piercings and maybe even a tattoo? (probably not, i’d def pussy out LMDAOO)

- so this was the biggest one besides the divorce but we got offers for two homes. the same homes that we looked at years ago and it honestly freaked me out. i genuinely did want to move again so i could be closer to my friends house to hangout more (we both met through LOA about three years ago and just so happened to live almost an hour away). i glanced at both house listings online after talking to her and i believed that i was gonna move. NEXT DAY, MY MOM AND SISTER GOT TWO CALLS BACK TO BACK. so now we’re moving into both homes because of something that happened 😭 it’s not bad but it was funny. i’ll be there in less than a week so i’m excited!

- another thing that happened was earlier this month. i tapped into the void for fun through this guided hypnosis video post made by gorgeouslypink and i was curious. i didn’t have any intent on manifesting anything there nor did i actually think i was gonna go through with it. i laid down right after and i tapped into it immediately while following the last speaking. personally, i don’t feel the need for the void because at the end of the day, ts is a deep meditative state inside of me. manifesting in the void is instant, and so is manifesting any other way. i also texted my friend right before and after. she thought i was gonna do it another day by u disappeared for like an hour or two and she was shocked. i was gonna send proof of everything but idk how to do this shit through anon but changing the font tbh this is sad.

all of the stuff that i mentioned within these two past months were all manifested without using the void. i hope that this can bring more positivity and enthusiasm for a lot of people who’ll see this post. ofc you can use the void but realize your power, it all starts with you and ends with you. don’t forget that you promised yourself these things so give them to yourself. sending love 💓 i’ll check back in monthly probably bc this is fun sharing my experiences and using the pink font color 💟 see you next time!

babes……. HELLO YOU DID THAT🥺i’m so proud and happy for you ! 🫶🏾 you’re only gonna get better and better and i can’t wait🥰i hope you enjoy all you’ve manifested 🕺🏾and have an absolute ball

[cyncerity]

Cyncerity!!!

The lore you dropped on the karlnapity (avian Q and borrower Karl) au!? You were really just gonna hide that in the TAGS!?

Now I have to know more 👀

And as always, beautiful work on your art! They look amazing!

AAAHHHH TY!! This is an au i’ve had for longer than i’ve had tumblr so i love talking about it lol

^(these are the tags mentioned btw)

there’s actually a post that’s now over two years old that goes into a little more angst linked here >:)

anyway two years ago i was trying to be all cryptic and stuff but i’ve had this in the back of my head for a while now so here’s Q’s story:

He was part of a borrower colony when [REDACTED] happened (if you scroll through the first tag under this post you’ll see “[redacted]” mentioned a lot because it’s the catalyst for this au, so i’m not willing to give that one up yet ;] ). He and his sister (his only family) were kidnapped by humans. He was separated from her and sold because his wings were pretty. He was handled poorly and mistreated by his human owners as they tried to force him to learn aerial tricks and make him a show bird of sorts. Humans in this au don’t know about borrowers (borrowers in this world are all tiny hybrids except for like one really weird exception but we can talk about him later) so the humans who bought Q found him on the dark web and we’re planning to show him off to the world and get rich and famous and shit off of him. However, Q found out he was a shifter, which is just a magic trait that some people pick up (i’m thinking of giving it a correlation to something but i haven’t decided yet). Q didn’t really know what was happening, one moment he was in his cage and the next he was free, but he took advantage of it.

The family that owned him wasn’t home. He ransacked their house, looking for anything that he’s noticed was important to human society. He grabbed bags full of clothes, valuables, food; anything he could sell or use in a human society and took off. Eventually he found a town far away and managed to find a cheap apartment that he could pay the first few month’s rent for only by selling the valuables he’d stolen. He bound his wings and found a job, beginning a normal human life.

how he met Schlatt and how Schlatt became his other “human” roommate, however, is a much longer story than I can’t fit onto this post.

[atranswomansdiary]

Prologue

Or some kind of introduction to all the craziness that will come in the next entries, written ex post facto

“When did you realize you were trans?”

I’ve been asked this question many times (and I’ve often wondered about it myself) and, the more I try to point the exact moment when it happened, the more nebulous it becomes. Was it when I actually told the world that I was a trans woman (i.e., the day I came out publicly)? Was it the first time I told one of my friends (at the time) or my family that I was “considering” transitioning? Was it the first time I had a dream about being myself, but with a woman’s body instead of the one I was born with?

I honestly don’t have a definite answer to that question. Or a specific one. Or even a simple one.

But I needed to start somewhere. I needed a jumping off point, a way to start writing about what was happening to me back then—and it’s still happening now. I needed to put down these thoughts and ideas or, I was afraid, I was going to lose my mind. I was in such a state of desperation, solitude, and angst that, barring letting my shit out here, I couldn’t really see a way to keep on living.

In other words, I needed you.

So, I began writing you. Or to you. I don’t know. I hadn’t kept a diary in years. Like, fifteen years or so when I started this one? I didn’t remember when it was the last time I had written a real diary. That’s how long.

But I’m getting away from my point. To start this story—my story—the story of my transition—I needed to choose a point. A starting point. An anchor to provide you and me with some perspective to everything that came before… And everything that is to come from now on, I hope.

I needed a beginning.

So I decided that, in lieu of a better alternative, I’d start with this specific point in time, this otherwise unremarkable day. It’s an arbitrary one, I admit, but it’s very significant. I think you’ll get why it is so important to me but, just to make things clear, I think the following was the first day of a life-long journey in transitioning from male to female (mtf).

This was the first time I experienced what we trans people usually refer to as gender euphoria.

If you’re not trans—I’ll assume you aren’t, just for the sake of clarity—I don’t think you’ll truly be able to understand what I’m actually referring to. It’s just like when some cisgender people (usually TERFs) tell us that we trans women can’t know what it is to be a “real” women because we’ll never know what it is to suffer from PMS, give birth to a child/get pregnant, or any other bullshit like that. And although those people are wrong—we’re very much “real” women, whatever the fuck that means—we as trans people are right when we tell cis people that their empathy has a limit.

But I’m getting off topic.

So: gender euphoria. Although I don’t think it is possible to truly explain the experience to a cis person, I’ll give it my best to try and do so anyway.

Can you recall the day you discovered your life’s calling? Maybe you haven’t yet, or maybe you can’t recall. If you can, though, are you able to remember the sensation? That kind of unexplainable happiness, the feeling that you just made what may very well be the most important discovery of your life? The simply joy of knowing that things now fit? That everything just feels right?

And if you can’t (or haven’t), can you imagine those feelings? Can you envision how you’d feel if you found the answers to most if not all of your life’s questions? Like, are you able to fantasize about finding the meaning to your existence?

That’s (may be) what gender euphoria feels like.

The first time I felt it, it was unlike anything I had felt before in my life. I was 34 years old. That day, I discovered that my whole life up until that point had been a simulacrum of sorts. Every experience I had before that day felt like something distant, something that somebody else had experienced. It felt like the life story of a good friend of mine, but not like my life.

It was heartbreaking and endlessly joyous. It was, in a word, indescribable. No words that I know can make it justice, with perhaps the exception of ecstasy. But I truly don’t feel like discussing the linguistical implications of how to name my experience.

I’m much more interested in describing it, in leaving it here as a testimony of what I went through. And, maybe, it’ll help somebody else going along their own journey.

This is just too long of an entry as it is. I know that I truly don’t have any limits in this format, but I’m tired and I think is better for me to sleep now.

In the next entry, I’ll tell you all about my moment of realization. My own personal eureka!

Until then, with love,

ZZ

[prototypesteve]

“Don’t try this at home!”

So, if you’ve been following my posts, you might guess that there’s a chance I’m going to impulsively come out as aroace to my family and some remaining lifelong friends some time in 2024, and it might go well, and in the moment I might post something euphoric and, and, and.

I just want to make sure everyone knows that my situation might be different from yours, so my thing might go very differently than your thing. If you’re also thinking of coming out to a potentially “risky” group—especially your close family or close friends—please take these into consideration:

I may have a very different real-life audience.

I’m probably older than you. I’m 52 right now. Which means the friends and family I’m coming out to are going to be different, too. They’ll mostly be Generation X, and one Boomer.

I’m safe.

I’m basically independent. I can’t get thrown out by an impulsive parent, or quietly fired by a bigoted boss. If it goes badly, I’m not at risk of homelessness or anything like it.

I’m jaded, and risk-tolerant.

I’ve had some truly traumatic losses, so I’m emotionally prepared for new losses. I’ve already lost friends, very close people, and family, to emotional drift, breakups, and even death. If you haven’t had that happen yet, it can be really hard. Some of those losses messed me up for years. In some ways, I’m sure I’ve become a bit heartless towards the risk of additional loss. Like, “Been there, done that, do your worst!” If you’re new to loss, please don’t copy my impulsive and casual approach towards it.

I have genetically weird empathy.

I lack the so-called empathy gene (see notes below, I’m not making this shit up). It means I can really, really, really miss how badly I’ve fucked up a friendship, because it can be days or weeks before I realize I said something that affected someone in some level I’ve never seen before, and haven’t practiced learning how to “detect”.

I may post something about how well everyone reacted, and then have to post a correction half a year later. I haven’t had problems with it in a decade or so, but this is all higher-stakes stuff.

Footnote on the empathy gene:

I have genotype A/A on marker rs53576 in gene OXTR (position 8804371), and genotype G/G on marker rs1042778 in gene OXTR (position 8794545). OXTR as in "oxytocin receptor". In fairly large studies those two genotypes correlated with what gets super-simplified as having "no empathy" and being "callous-unemotional." I have feelings, but they work differently.

[polyamorouspunk]

do you have any fantasy book recs that arent classics and also aren't like booktok shit?

Here’s a book tour of what’s on my shelf! I’ll go more in-depth on some of these books below as well as include books I don’t own but still fully support!

Savvy by Ingrid Law

If you know me at all you know that Savvy is my favorite book, enough that I literally named myself after it. Savvy is a great book and won many awards. There’s a 10-year edition out that you can buy now as well. Savvy is a great book as a stand-alone, but the other books in the series are pretty good too! Savvy is a great real-world fantasy coming-of-age in the most wild way possible. Basically a girl comes from a weird family who all get weird powers on their 13th birthday. Through a family tragedy, she ends up having to reveal her family’s secret to friends from church on a cross-state road trip where they meet colorful characters. Through her journey she learns what being a “teen” is like and decided to enforce boundaries for herself, which we totally support. This book is wholesome, and aimed for middle school readers who are transitioning from tweens to teens.

Pros:

Colorful characters

Just a really interesting story you’re going to find things in here you wouldn’t find in any other book. This really means the characters, and their lives. So much thought is put into these characters they’re so whacky they take on a life of their own

Very straight-forward. Since it’s a stand-alone book there’s no confusing overarching plot-line/story.

Great as a stand-alone or the rest of the series. If you like the book for what it is you can keep it to this book, but if you really like the characters and wish to see more of them, they all show up in the later books

Cons:

This is really made for a middle-school audience

There is a character who has a controversial name. She’s the main character in the third book but she’s a baby in this one. Honestly I this isn’t a con for me personally, I understand that books are the product of their time, and when I was 13 when this book came out I didn’t think there was anything wrong with her name, it’s only now as an adult that I’ve been online and seen concerns that people have raised about the name in general I understand this might be a con.

The Maze Runner by James Dashner

Who here hasn’t heard of The Maze Runner? I’m going to go through it anyway in case someone here hasn’t- and if you haven’t, then here’s my pitch: The Maze Runner, which only has a maze in some of the books but that’s okay, is a great post-apocalyptic book. If you liked The Hunger Games, you will like The Maze Runner. The Maze Runner starts in The Maze and the rest of the series details what happens outside of The Maze. I honestly can’t remember if I read the last book, I read up to The Death Cure at least. I only own the first book and that’s because I picked it up at a book sale. The last time I read this book I had My Chemical Romance’s Sleep playing, and it’s the only time I’ve ever been “scared” by a book other than reading Pet Semetary, so in terms of “scare” factor, this book is on par with Stephen King for me. As someone who really loves viral infection stories, this book has an added layer to it for me. This book borders on being horror, people die and they die horribly and I appreciate that in a teen book series.

Pros:

You can microdose on horror by reading these

These are such a classic they should be easy to find at any library

There are movies

Cons:

If you don’t like scary books maybe this isn’t for you

Your favorite character is dead

Female character isn’t the worst but some people had issue with her especially in the movies

There are movies

Battling Boy by Paul Pope

This is a graphic novel you’ve probably never heard of! I got this book advanced copy and it came with a t-shirt of the main character. This is a graphic novel about a petty god (?) boy who is supposed to take his father’s throne but his father (I think? It’s been a while) decides he’s a brat and banishes him until he learns some manners. If you like Marvel then this is a good graphic novel for you. I have literally no idea if there are more of these, I have no idea if the author has written anything else (I would assume he has), this book literally just dropped into my lap and I still have the shirt and the book and it really wasn’t bad at all.

Pros:

Graphic novel

Cons:

Pretty obscure

The Crowfield Curse by Pat Walsh

This is another book that magically fell in my lap! I’ve only read the first 2 books in this series, and the first was significantly better than the second. This book is set in Ye Old Fashioned Middle Ages times (castles, knights, stuff like that) and is a magic fantasy novel. It follows a younger boy who lives at basically a monastery and I’ll be honest I don’t remember what the plot is but he walks through the woods a lot to arrive at various destinations.

Pros:

He has the cutest little mythical creature (behind him on the cover) and it talks

He’s not the most interesting or relatable main character but he’s pretty chill

The monastery is a cool setting that I feel like isn’t visited a lot

I think there’s a cool cabin he visits too

The monsters (seen in the trees) are kind of cool

Cons:

Second book was a bit of a let-down

Aimed for middle school readers

The Tapestry by Henry H. Neff

This. Is. It. Everyone talks about wanting “good” H*rry P*tter replacements. Well here it is. The best H*rry P*tter replacement out there. I hate to diminish the series to only that, because there’s so much more to it. This book series, much like the one referenced, starts off pretty light-hearted and slowly gets darker and darker as the threat of the main villain becomes more and more real. This series has it all though. The story follows a boy who becomes a destined hero (think Percy Jackson) and his roommate who becomes a destined wizard (think H*rry P*tter) as they work together in a magic school where the teachers and staff are fighting this evil to try and overcome it.

Pros:

There is a gay ship waiting for you right there with Max (main character) and David (roommate)

David is just as important as Max in the story. David’s role is to support Max but at the same time he doesn’t take a back seat. He has his own missions and side-quests going on that the reader isn’t privy to until he tells Max about them

It’s not cannon probably but David is heavily aro/ace coded.

They. Have. Cute. Animals. Everyone at the school gets a “companion” mythical creature and Max’s is ADORABLE. You will fall in love with his little creature companion.

There’s a lot of Celtic references, so if you’re into that, this is a definite recommendation

Time-travel

Daring adventures outside the school in the “real-world” including some cool Day of the Dead stuff

Backstories on some characters/unlikely pairings that I really enjoy, as well as lore to the school

The villain is super charming. Like, Voldemort isn’t charming. He’s just a dick. This villain is charming and you almost end up liking him. Also, they don’t shy away from some dark stuff. There’s character deaths but there’s also a key body mutilation a character has to deal with (so, magical disability representation?)

Cons:

You will cry. Something happens and I’m not going to say what it is but it gets me every time and I cannot and will not forgive the author for it. You can’t just make me love something and then rip it away from me and expect me to be okay with it. Cruelty.

Indelible by Dawn Metcalf

Dawn Metcalf’s first book wasn’t anything I was really liked (but I own it!) but MAN she went OFF with this series. First of all, I just have to congratulate her on making a likable female main character. I love Joy, she’s great, she’s so relatable. Second off: polyamory rep! I love Inq, she’s such a great character, and all of her boyfriends supporting Joy as their like “sister-in-law” is wild. I love the dynamic between Joy and her dude-bro hoard. Also, I love the idea of having a human main character but the non-human main characters have the struggle of trying to decide who they are, and if they want to be human, because they don’t know who or what they are and their place in life. This series is 100% responsible for my poor dating choices because boy oh boy if you like sad emo boys this series is for you. Also I named one of my animals after the sad emo boy.

Pros:

Emo tattoo artist representation

Relatable main character. If my life got destroyed like hers did I would be pissed off too also yeah I would absolute fake-date an emo tattoo artist demon only to fall in love with him how could you not?

Literally sorry who doesn’t want to fuck a scalpel-wielding emo boy tattoo artist demon with black eyes and a sad pathetic nature but who gets murderous when anyone touches his precious human gf

The literally relationship anarchy that is Inq and her manwhore polycule also Inq’s relationship with Joy where she’s literally so fucking bisexual it’s insane

Actual good world-building

Cons:

Just that it’s more obscure so it might be harder to find

The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken

I did not finish this series, after I got the first book before it was released for public sale I did hunt down some of the other books, at least the second one. This book is a post-apocalyptic dystopian book similar to The Hunger Games (I swear not every futuristic post-apocalyptic dystopian book is similar to the hunger games) where kids are enslaved in a type of prison and kind of like The X-Men their powers are rated by how “dangerous” they are. The book follows the main protagonist as she I think escapes the school either with some other kids or meets up with some other kids. She’s labeled as one of the more “dangerous” types, it goes by color and I believe hers is orange. Her and her companions are hunted down to be returned to their prison as they go on the run. The ending made me kind of sad (I’m not good with character breakups, I am not coping well with OFMD-) but the second book resolves it a little bit? Idk, I think I only read it like once or twice. and even then I only got to the second book. It wasn’t anything to write home about, as my mom says, but if you like the kind of Magneto storyline of him being in a… well, you know what I’m talking about… and you like the idea of that not being so real and having real-world events tied to them but the idea of a fictional prison that basically houses “mutants” who are dangerous, and you like YA romance, this book might be something you’d be interested in.

Pros:

Nice character dynamic with older girl and her younger girl companion

The special powers/post-apocalyptic type story honestly doesn’t really get old to me, even if the books themselves are mediocre

Hell yeah fuck the government

Cons:

If you don’t like that sweet, sweet YA romance taking up a good chunk of your stories this might not be the book series for you

Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy

I read this series so much as a kid it’s insane. I own most of the books up to book 9, and I’ve read them all up to that. I’ve probably read this book at least 5 times. It never gets old. The series follows a girl who get dragged into the magical underground scene of London with a sarcastic talking skeleton detective. As the books go on you get the sense things are coming to a head, and a bigger, evil prophecy lurks over the adventures of each book, kind of like Percy Jackson.

Pros:

This series is hilarious. I’ve never read a series that’s as funny as this one. Every character is sarcastic and a twat in one way or another.

Valkyrie can be annoying, but you get the feeling that it’s because she’s growing up. She’s an amazing character overall, so even when she makes decisions that I, the reader, disagree with, I feel like it’s because she’s coming into her own person, and that I was that annoying at that age too.

There’s a LOT of these, and they are MASSIVE books. There’s not a lack of content here.

The relationship between Skulduggery and Valkyrie is written really well.

I wanted to be in this universe so badly growing up I wanted to be just like Tanith and Valkyrie and Skulduggery. They were formative characters for me who I aspired to be.

Cons:

I’m sorry. There’s a love triangle between the bad-boy sexy vampire and the polite and goofy fun-loving wholesome boy.

The books start to go off the rails in my opinion after book like 7ish. After book like 5 or 6 I feel like 7 is okay but not as good and then they go downhill from there. There’s more than the 9 I’ve read out, but I stopped reading after about book 9 just from growing out of reading/also feeling like they were going off the rails/I had to hunt down all these books and I own 7 of them which is a LOT especially when you’re like 15 and don’t have a job.

The queer rep is thrown in like book 7 or 8 and it’s literally like 1 sentence and it feels so shoehorned in and it’s like I could have lived perfectly fine with this character being straight like that would have been fine really you didn’t have to make her pansexual after the fact.

Stephanie being 12 when the book series started makes it hard for me to relate now that I’m 24 because I started reading it when I was probably like 11/12 and her growing up and doing more adult things was at times unrelatable to me as a kid (but I wanted to be her!!!) and now that I’m an adult it’s like oh wow she was a child and so was I and then she was “an adult” (15,16,17,18) but now I’m an adult and she’s still a child (15,16,17,18).

Septimus Heap by Angie Sage

If you like steampunk this book series is for you! It’s set in high fantasy, the time period is I guess kind of mideval? I mean they sleep on straw beds and have horse-drawn carriages so it’s certainly not like London circa 1920s or something. This book has trolls and dragons and all that magic shit. This book is cool if you like alchemy as well.

Pros:

This series only has 7 books because 7 is the important number in the series, meaning it didn’t have time to get bad. The books remain consistently decent.

The dragons and alchemy and all that stuff is cool!

Contains a friend group which is pretty neat. Some of them are probably autistic coded.

Did I mention the dragons

The town and cabin in the marshlands are cool fantasy settings, along with other locations in the story.

Cons:

I don’t really understand why some characters have names like Septimus and Beetle and other characters have names like Jenna and Marcia (also how to pronounce “Marcia” was a debate in my household for years and is probably the only thing I agreed with my dad on ever).

Jenna turned into a little bitch. I think she redeemed herself, and I support her joining a coven of witches, but she was just a dick for no reason and Beetle deserved better.

Legend by Marie Lu

This book series is so good, it’s a great little trilogy. The post-apocalyptic city-type setting is cool, it’s kind of starting to hit a little too close to home these days but 😅 the fact this is another book that deals with a mysterious virus and a shitty sketchy government is great and Day is the best character ever.

Pros:

Day. Best character ever.

Cool characters in The Resitance™️

Detailed. Very descriptive. Very easy to picture the characters and their outfits and the locations they’re in.

Dialect! The dialect in this book is amazing! Regional dialect among the poor vs the rich is a great concept to include. I used to say “cuz” way too much as a kid because I wanted to be like Day. Transgender moment.

A neat little triology. Not enough to go off the rails.

Cons:

Not one but two love triangles. Both are bad.

June? Sucks ass. My friends and I used to yell about how much we hated June.

The story that Day supposedly murdered Micah and June just refuses to believe him when he tells her he didn’t seems… unrealistic. Like idk maybe it’s me when I say “man if someone told me they had magic powers I would believe them instantly” or whatever but like her going back and forth on whether or not she believes him seems so wishy-washy. I get that the idea is she was raised in a cult and she is trying to break free of that cult and see the lies they told her (kind of like She-Ra?) but I feel like Adora picks up on that “oh my god I’ve been lied to this whole time! You ARE the good guys! A lot quicker than June. June drags her feet and it makes it annoying as a reader.

Also the revelation that Micah is [redacted] and June’s like I can’t believe he wouldn’t tell me 😭 like yeah girl you’re in a cult I probably wouldn’t have told you either. Sorry.

[ev1llesb1an]

Film lesbian making a (very late) return 🫡

Okay i haven’t shared my thought on stuff i’ve watched in FOREVER but in my defence i was rewatching mlp and now ive finally watched enough to make a post about 🙏

First off:

Twilight: ?/10

okay so obviously twilight is bad but it’s so bad that it’s good??? also i can’t believe im first watching twilight in 2024 either but here we are 😞 had to pause a million times because i physically couldn’t get thru some of the dialogues but i would absolutely watch it again

The boys: 12/10

OBVIOUSLY incredible but also completely rotted my brain. miserable in a way that i very much enjoyed. bonus points because lesbians writing the most insane homelander fics you will ever see in your life is the kinda thing the world needs 🙏 i’ll probably share my thoughts on season 4 when it comes out if i remember

Gen V: 8/10

if u loved the boys and don’t like this i’m convinced it’s because u hate queer rep so 🤨 i fucking loved this shit we need more gen z college shows (so actors in their late 20s will stop being cast as TEENAGERS 🤞) the end of season 1 was so frustrating but obviously that’s the point so i demand a season two immediately please and thank you

Jojo Rabbit: 10/10

amazing film. made me cry but i knew that would happen going into it. my dad also watched it and said it was good so if u don’t wanna listen to me u should listen to my dad because he has good takes 👍

Dirty dancing: 10/10

AGAIN how have i not watched this before??? not usually my kinda movie i guess but you can’t fault it i had a great time

My adventures with superman: 9/10

common jack quaid W (i love jack quaid) and i love himbo superman again i demand a season two IMMEDIATELY (joking ik animation takes forever take as long as needed i will still be hyped and watch it all if it comes out like 20 years from now 🫶)

Pose (so far): 10/10

okay so im only on season one but this is SO GOOD pls don’t be put off by the fact its ryan murphy because this is nothing like glee or ahs or anything i swear its genuinely incredible. queer history is also something that i am very passionate about so if you are too you should watch it everyone’s acting is so good omg

i also watched all the star wars movies but i feel like that needs its own post so ill do that later 🫡

[kinnsporsche]

where i’ve been: an explanation

some of y’all might have noticed my activity on this site has been dwindling over the last few weeks and i’ve only really been posting from a queue, i’ll be putting a proper explanation on things under the cut for people who are interested but the tldr is that uh

my uncle was murdered under very suspicious circumstances

none of my family have seen my uncle for years, and i haven’t seen him since i was a little kid - we only know he’d died because my mum was listed as his next of kin which is weird considering that they hadn’t spoken in years and also that uh. most of her brothers (not the uncle in question) beat the shit out of her when she was a kid.

they found his body in the desert in arizona, we think somewhere in pinal county (we weren’t given specifics 🙄) which is, in itself, hella sus. we have no family in america, and they told us that he wasn’t a US citizen, which means he was either a tourist or maybe an illegal immigrant? they didn’t tell us who found him, all they told us is that he was found sitting under a tree somewhere deep enough in the desert that it would have been impossible to walk to given the death date and rate of decomposition, and all he had on him was his passport (how they found my mom) and a ticket to universal. there were no signs of cars around and no abandoned vechicles anywhere in the vicinity. 

we got the coroner’s report back recently and he had no drugs or alcohol in his system, no visible trauma, the rate of decomposition was elevated and his skin was like leather so they listed his cause of death as undetermined and told us that their best guess was that he dehydrated and died. which all just. makes no sense. they told us his body was in an area deep enough he couldn’t walk to, so how did he even get there let alone dead under a tree? 

so now, where we’re at, is that they want us to deal with his body, and to get a body sent back to the UK costs like £4000 which is impossible (my mum’s brothers already said they’re not helping lmao), or the option to bury him in what we would call a paupers grave i guess? so he’d probably be listed as an unclaimed body, but then we lose access to everything - to his body, to information, to closure. so we’re stuck at a standstill pretty much, and it’s just back and forth between my mom and the consulate they assigned to us.

obviously all of this has been really hard on my mum, especially because he was her youngest brother, he was the baby of the family and the thought that he died somewhere out in the middle of the desert alone and afraid is heartbreaking for her and it destroys her whenever she thinks about it too much, so im mostly just taking care of her at the moment. 

all we have now is more questions than answers, and every explanation we come up with just gives us more questions. it’s unlikely we’ll ever find out what happened to him, pinal county seems content to let it go unanswered despite the fact it’s suspicious as hell and there’s hardly anything we can do because we’re in a whole different country (UK) and can’t keep pushing as easily. we really want to know when he entered the country so we can figure out what he was doing there but, at the moment, we literally dont know a thing about him. if we find out, i will keep updated.

whatever happened to him, i hope he’s found some semblance of peace. 😔

[wiretchings]

memory log #60

sunday, january 12th, 2025 -- 9:59 a.m. 

well, it’s been nearly a week since i’ve updated this blog on what’s been going. after collapsing on tuesday, i got sick. everything got on top of me, so i guess my body tried to stop me by shutting down completely. i was bedridden for two days with a fever, my limbs were aching, and i had a piercing headache. i’ve been better for a few days now, but my wings are still a little sore from laying on them for two days straight. 

i’ve been spending time with my roommates and sherry, and felix of course. he’s been sleeping in my bed with me, curled up against my side and purring all the while. i woke up to felix licking my bruised jaw this morning. it felt like someone was peppering kisses on my face and i caught myself whispering elliot’s name when i woke up. i haven’t gone looking for him or any leads on where he might be since earlier this week. 

i do have one update, though. 

i got a call from the woman working at the almost-abandoned post office, her name is candace, about a letter elliot dropped off early this morning. apparently he was already waiting outside when she pulled into the parking lot for her shift. candace asked him how he knew they were open on sundays, he said he didn’t. she said he was shivering and declined when she offered him a warm cup of coffee. elliot just handed her the letter and took off after thanking her for her kindness, so she called me right away because it felt urgent. 

i was already lacing my sneakers by the time the phone call was over. i snuck out quietly, luckily tye was still asleep and carson was at work already. candace was very surprised to see me so soon after the call. i accepted her offer for coffee, i hadn't had anything yet this morning. she left to the back after giving me the letter, i think she wanted to give me some space. very sweet of her. i’ll transcribe what elliot said here:

“angel,

i told you not to go to my apartment.... i’m so sorry you got caught in the crossfire. i have a friend on the outskirts of the group that attacked you, he told me you know now. the least i can do is explain what happened. 

you know that i come from money, and with that comes shitty decisions and getting involved with dangerous people. the problem is that once your family cuts you off, there’s no protection from those dangerous people anymore. on the night of christmas eve, i spotted one of the guys in the corner of my eye while we were dancing. he wasn’t supposed to be there and when i saw him pull out a knife, i wanted to get away from the crowd so that nobody got hurt. the blood on my leather jacket is the result of our not-so-little tussle outside the mansion in the middle of nowhere. he slashed my shoulder and his buddy had a gun, so i got grazed by a bullet on my thigh... but i’m okay! no infections, it’s all healing nicely. more sexy scars for me ;) 

anyway, i stabbed the guy with the gun to get away. it was dark and i was bleeding a lot, so i think i got him in the side. i guess he didn’t make it. i didn’t stick around to find out, i was trying to focus on getting somewhere safe before i passed out in the middle of the road. i should have assumed that guys like that can’t go to the hospital without getting themselves arrested. his name was paul, he was their leader. 

dean, i’m gonna be honest with you, i don’t know what to do. usually, i figure out a way to get myself out of this shit, but they don’t want money or drugs or property this time. they want my life. i might have to leave the state, actually. they’re probably tailing you now, though, just in case. so... i can’t give you any details. i’m sorry. giving candace this letter was risky enough, but you deserve to know.

the thought of you keeps me warm at night. i appreciate you trying to find me but i’d appreciate it more if you just lived your life for now :) like i said, i’ll find you when the time is right <3 

yours, eli”