#i havent posted on here for a year but the good news is at least i finally got my german language bachelors degree

[kkas-art]

Also if you've read the fic come back here and tell me what your favourite scene/ interaction was and I'll sketch it (quickly) (I mean I gotta dust off this blog so probably nobody will see but if ***anyone*** finds this i gotta reward their monumental effort) my favourite scene is every scene but I can't do that

[jakei95]

[Post in English] Something Nyx and I want to publicly address, regarding the recent allegations in the Glitchtale Crew's Discord Server and it's moderators. I really apologize for the upcoming wall of text. These are our Twitter threads I have pasted them here, in case you don't have access to said platform. I have also added some additional notes to provide more context. All details under the line:

NyxTheShield: (Transcription from his official twitter thread) I read some mean comments lately and I just wanna be super clear: I havent been related to Glitchtale since at least 2022. I never considered myself part of the community and went through some much shit while doing stuff for it that my mental health was completely destroyed.

For people who thought I was an admin of the server, that was just in paper. I was constantly de-admin'd, demodded and kicked from the server through the years for simple stuff like asking the rest of the mod team to not say slurs or standing up against the Midnight Crew. I personally left the server for a long while because I really did not want to be around some of the people there. All of this happened years ago (from 2016~ to around 2020). On the early years, my full income came from Youtube/Glitchtale. I was a broke college student and my economic stability depended on it. Despite this, and making literally hundred of tracks and hours of music for the series, most of the income came from my own ad revenue. I was paid less than 2000 USD for all of the work. Essentially, I was paid in exposure.

This wouldn't have been an issue for me if at least I got to keep my artistic vision with the series. That didn't hold true for long.

From the second season and onwards, and in multiple instances, I would score the entire OST for the episode, watch the episode when it released, and then find out a completely new section of the episode (usually a battle scene) with music from somebody else This was completely demotivating to me because I wasn't being paid, the tracks would not fit the rest of the OST at all, and most of the income I made from the battle scenes. I had to work for weeks trying to compose music for glorified powerpoint presentations (Basically everything that's not a battle scene on the series was just still frames of characters barely moving) and do all the heavy lifting and I wasn't even let known about the guest tracks.

This added to the feeling of having absolutely no power within the community. I don't know if this was intentional or not (I don't wanna presume malice), but all of these things together contributed to me distancing myself from the community.

Honestly, there is A LOT more shit that went down these early years that are extremely traumatic to me that I would prefer to not talk about unless completely necessary, but I feel this is a good amount of context for what I wanna talk about next.

As you might be aware, extremely serious (and true) allegations were made against Camila and his partner, Veir, which was accused of grooming minors from 2015 to 2021 There are really good videos out there explaining the entire timeline of what transpired, but I specifically wanna talk about 2020.

(Jakei's note: Links to said videos are here: [1] [2] [3])

In that year, a public document was made by my head mod CrystalFlame alongside 2 other mods in the GT server, that exposed Veir and their actions. This document went mostly unnoticed. Even more, Crystal went through a lot of abuse for coming forward about their abuse and was almost ostracized from the UT AU community because of this.

Because of this, I was asked directly by one of the victims (and also representing the other victims) to please not speak up (Citing that they just wanted to move on and didn't want to involve themselves with more problems and expose themselves)

All the info was kept very vague from me, including the people who were involved, the extent of the stuff that went down, etc But I knew enough to know it was serious. I followed their request and didn't speak up publicly about this, but I banned Veir from my server, warned all of my mods and people close to me in those circles about Veir, and constantly tried to get Camila to please adress the situation. Despite this, she did not listen and we all know how stuff went down later in 2022, where the allegations came back again with full force. This time around I wasnt asked to stay silent so I spread the word around and confronted the entire mod team. I was shortly banned after that.

I needed to address this because this thing has been eating me alive for years. I was intentionally kept in the dark about a lot of context and nuance that would have completely changed my mind about speaking up or not about what happened in 2020.

Everything is easier in retrospective, and with the knowledge I now have about the situation I know for a fact that I would have spoken up about all that happened. But being asked directly to not speak up by the victims was something that goes against what I am Sorry for the long rant, but I really needed to get this off my chest. I am tired of having to deal with this kind of stuff. As a content creator/public figure I am trying my hardest to keep the communities I am active in as safe as possible.

I feel I could have done more for the Glitchtale community regarding the grooming situation, but all of the years of abuse that I endured really fucked up my judgement. I am not very good at dealing with people and I always trust the people close to help me for this kind of stuff

Sadly, in this case, those same people who were close to me were also the victims, so they couldnt have known or had a way to help me out, I should have helped them instead. Most if not all of what was described in this thread is backed up by screenshots, chat logs, and direct testimony from the people who were involved during this time.

I don't want to direct hate to anyone or start a witchhunt, I am doing this purely to decompress a bit and try to vent some of the trauma I experienced all these years.

============================================

Jakei: (Transcription from my official twitter thread) I would also like to share my experiences about my relationship with the Glitchtale Creator, Camila Cuevas. Publicly, we appeared as close friends, but in reality, that friendship was based on bullying and mistreatment, and this affected my mental health deeply.

Years have passed, and the memories still cause me pain. I decided to remain silent, but after the revelations of grooming cases in her community, I realized I wasn’t being too sensitive. The time has come to speak up about my experiences.

During the early years of Underverse, I was dealing with a serious depressive episode. Simultaneous internal and external pressures as an independent artist amplified my mental strain. Meeting Camila felt like finding a genuine friend who shared my passion for the fandom and understood the struggles of being a content creator amidst toxicity. At my lowest, I became compliant to doing things that I didn’t want to, just to keep people around me happy. For Camila, this meant allowing her to belittle my work and make me the butt of her jokes.

Only our veteran followers may remember the 'roasting games' between us on Tumblr (consisting of mutual insults), a spectacle where she'd always win. However, it was a game she privately forced me to "play" and I ended up accepting, despite the discomfort it caused me. These 'games' would give her a cool and strong image in the fandom while painting me as the dumb, 'cringe-worthy' friend. In essence, I became her personal punching bag, unknowingly reinforcing his reputation.

Camila's favorite term to demean my series 'Underverse' was “Cancerverse”. It felt like a constant contest where she'd always position herself as the superior writer and animator simply because my story and animation techniques didn't fit her standards. Years of being subjected to her ridicule left my self-esteem in ruins. I was okay with the negative feedback by some fans, but when my 'friend' publicly disrespected my art, it made me question my abilities as an artist.

I can't deny there were times when she gave me advice to deal with hate or hurtful comments. However, her damaging comments and treatment outweighed those moments of support.

My depressive state worsened around July 2017, where I had accepted people pushing me to do things I wasn’t comfortable with, while being part of Camila's demeaning games, just to appease her ego. I was introduced to Nyx during this time, he offered his music for my series, and eventually we started dating. We met in person in Chile, where I also met Camila. I hoped our friendship would strengthen but everything felt the same. Before I moved to Chile with Nyx, Camila reached out to me in dms, attempting to turn me against him because he opposed the use of slurs in the GT server. She claimed Nyx was being 'brainwashed' by his American friends belonging to the black and LGBTQ+ communities. She made fun of my dating choices, suggesting I was entering a toxic relationship, while showing off her relationship with her then-boyfriend (later exposed as a pedophile). She even quoted her own mother assuring me that Nyx would 'get back to normal', and if it didn’t happen, she would let me live in her house, almost like if she was telling me that Nyx would hurt me or make me feel miserable.

It only took Nyx 3 months to realize that the GT server was going in the wrong way. I initially felt compelled to defend Camila due to my inferiority complex, but soon realized Nyx was right. (Jakei's note: Not only Nyx was right, a lot of people that called her out over the years were right, yet they were not listened to at the time)

Even then, I found it difficult to distance myself from Camila due to the false sense of obligation I felt towards her. My fear of her making fun of my work kept me from interacting with others in the short period of time I stayed in her Discord server. I was afraid that she and her echo chamber would talk behind my back, something that I found out was happening in private chats until recent years.

Rebuilding my self-esteem wasn't an easy task. I began noticing the red flags – Camila's lack of respect not only for me but Nyx also, the emotional manipulation Nyx was suffering from Veir (something he used to do all the time with his other victims), her attempts to 'roast' me in front of her family and fans in the Underverse/Glitchtale meetings, and her constant criticism of my artstyle not being compatible to hers in the few collabs we made.

All these 'small' instances, dismissed as insignificant by many, caused me immense pain while treating my depression. I felt it was too late to express how I felt, as I feared being labeled as attention-seeking or oversensitive by her and her fanbase. Ironically, the moment she talked about her traumas after being bullied in the past, her feelings were the only ones that mattered any time she was involved in a problematic situation in the fandom and deserved to be the only to get pats in the back.

I never expected a sincere apology, as I was convinced she didn't remember or didn't care about the hurt she caused. I tried to maintain a facade of good terms with her, both publicly and privately. Eventually, I distanced myself from her, unfriending her and banning her from my own server even if she didn't interact there. I started focusing on my own work and the people who appreciated it. Despite this, the aftermath of the bullying continued to affect me.

Everything fell into place when the grooming accusations against her former boyfriend and server mods came to light. It was a shocking revelation, but it validated all my doubts and fears about her. The purpose of sharing my experiences is not to stir up drama, but to address the concerns of those worried about my association with Camila. I want to make it clear that I will never tolerate such behavior. Although the things I did for her in the past cannot be erased, I hope Camila at least deletes the animation remake I did for her and all the collabs that boosted her views for free, though I'm not optimistic about it happening.

As I've matured, my hope is that she and her crew learn from their mistakes, start behaving like adults, and take responsibility for their actions in their future projects and with their new followers. But I'm skeptical about any real change, especially if their server continues to exist. The best course of action for me was to cut all ties with Camila and Glitchtale.

NyxTheShield (now my husband) and I have endured too much from our treatment by Camila. We no longer want to be associated with her or Glitchtale. It's a chapter of our lives that we wish to close. It's time for us to focus on recovering our mental health, as remaining silent is only prolonging our pain. We have been working to improve our mental and physical health over the past few years and this is a crucial part of our healing process.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Various CRPs x Reader who knew then before their incidents

Prize request 3/5 for @coldsushisworld ! I hope you enjoy!

Characters in this post: Jeff, Puppeteer, Eyeless Jack, Masky and Ben Drowned

Notes: Reader is GN! Some of these may be shorter or vaguer than others but that's simply because my brains is a little foggy on the details of things!

CW: Mentions of suicide in Puppeteers part, mentions of death and murder in.. well almost all the characters..!

MASKY

JEFF

Similar to Ben's part, you find out what happened. Your parents didnt tell you all of the details that happened the night Jeff went missing, and you'd later find out why when you got older. From the man himself, actually. I enjoy the idea that between the actual canon event of the source and my take hes mellow out.. just a bit, at least hes not going to take you down the second he gets the chance. It's been.. years, you thought he had died at some point actually. Hes loud and arrogant, but for one reason or another he trusts you. You havent turned him yet, and that's saying something. Sometimes things are just like how they were before; the two of you are joking with each other and sharing stories. You don't see him often due to him just.. dropping off and doing who knows what.. but he always comes back to you eventually

BEN DROWNED

You were both childhood friends. The day Ben died, you were told he had moved away. You didnt find out what happened until years later, when you started asking around. When fate brings you both back together everything feels. Wrong. Hes a ghost, and primarily confined to technology- currently hes worked himself into your computer, proving himself to still be the mischievous guy he was in life by subtly messing with your files.. but you grew up, and he didnt. Despite still being friends, there just wasn't enough for the two of you to relate to anymore. In a way it reminds me of Anohana (need to rewatch it but I recommend it). If Ben notices the rift he doesnt say anything

The terrible thing is that you dont know what happened to him. One day he was here and the next? Gone. On top of that, are you even aware that he doesnt seem to.. remember all that much about you? It's almost as if hes an entirely different person. Out of all the characters, your relationship with Masky needs to be rebuilt from the ground, simply because it didnt exactly exist before. You were friends with Tim, of course. To you, you're trying to jog his memory and do things you two have done before. To him, you look.. desperate. Overtime you do both grow closer but the relationship will never be like how it was before, and you're going to have to readjust to this new situation- though is that not the case with the rest of these characters?

EYELESS JACK

You had heard on the news what happened at his college. It looked like there was a massacre, and your friend was no where in sight. Even before Jack became eyeless, he was still.. closed off and reserved. However reunited with him he seems to have sunk deeper into that, even trying to get you out of his life again because of.. what was happening to him and what was changing. Your insistence almost breaks the both of you, but despite everything you manage to safely reenter his life. His new eating habits.. are something.. and that's assuming he even tells you.. he probably would, out of guilt for keeping it from you and just guilt in general for needing to conform to his new diet. It's very strained and tense for a long time in the beginning, even if you're the most open minded person. Jack's not going to let it be easy

PUPPETEER

You were.. friendly with each other before everything. But you weren't exactly all that close. Of course when you found about how he took his life, you felt horrible. But life goes on. You move on, and go on with your life plans... and you were doing good at that, before a figure appears in your room one night. Its terrifying, actually, and if it didnt start talking to you like you were an old school friend you would have tried to make a run for it. Maybe it was the shock that kept you in place? Of course, the figure was.. him.. he doesn't seem to recognize the name you knew him as, in fact you cant tell how much he actually remembers. He basically just invites himself to live with you, not all that bothered with the idea that you might not want that. Hes.. kind of a dick, actually, but hes charming enough for you to keep him around. Having conversations with him is interesting, as well. Hes usually respectful enough but theres some level of... sass.. that keeps you invested. Hes so much like how he was before, but also not. Hes still there but it's like hes been flipped on his head

[starry-bi-sky]

ive been hesitating to ask this bc youve been on a roll with the clone^2au (which i am frothing over) but could i poke you for some childhood friend au? bc GOD i wanna see how danny reacts to reuniting w jason or how the rest of the batfam react to learning jason never told danny of his resurrection or wondering if dannys gonna put jokers dead body on a display/offering to jasons grave. i havent been normal about this since i first read it and was wondering. thank you for your writing.

RAAAAHHHH DON'T BE HESITANT I AM JUST AS FERAL OVER MY CHILDHOOD FRIENDS AU AS I AM WITH CLONE^2 I AM DELIGHTED BY THIS. Like.,,,, i literally love them,,, so much. I can't listen to The Crane Wives without thinking of them.

(which is my fault - the ao3 fic of them has literally only crane wives lyrics for each chapter title and summary (posted AND the ones not written) so of course im gonna associate with them.)

(if you wanna listen to some of their songs while thinking of cfau here are my recommendations: "Once & for All", "Here I Am", "Hollow Moon" is a Danny AND Jason song to me, this would be my go-to song for an animatic of CFAU if i had the skills for it. "Tongues and Teeth", "Curses" and "take me to war" is a heavy cfau danny song to me, and of course, "the moon will sing")

Like they're BEST friends dude, they're two sides of the same coin and when they were kids they would do this thing where their 'fingers crossed'/'double-crossed' was them hooking their index fingers in the fingers crossed gesture.

and i'm actually currently rewriting my original post into a more fic-like format, and when I'm done I'll post it on here under the cfau tag - with the original post still in tact. But its,,, gonna be so long dude,,,, the original behemoth was just over 9000 words,,, and I've written 3k words already of the new one and we haven't even reached Jason and Danny reuniting at the gala yet,,, i need to get back to that,,,

and then to answer your questions!! god im almost hesitant to answer because i dont wanna spoil the little fic i had planned for it but also like,, its not like im gonna spoil everything, right? and answering the questions isnt the same as writing the scene down so!!

i love danny and jason's reuniting, like i've thought about it SO much and I've thought about it happening after Danny kills the Joker. I know the reveal could have been before that, and it could have been equally just as dramatic but like??? Thematically, doing it after danny kills the joker is SO good. To me at least.

Because like?? Jason's been in somewhat denial about danny's plan to kill the joker for months. ever since danny told him that he wanted to at the gala. And from Jason's pov its not even technically a plan. He sees his best friend for the first time after five years and his best friend still isn't over his death. He hasn't stepped foot in Gotham since his funeral and now suddenly he's here.

And he's still so full of grief over his death that he tells a masked vigilante that he's going to kill the guy that did it, who lives in said masked vigilante's city. And danny's got that look in his eyes that Jason knows so well that means he's being serious. And yet he still doesn't know if he should believe him or not.

And then he does. Danny kills him. And Jason can't fucking believe it. And when he goes and sees Danny, Danny's hands are still covered in blood. And that reunion? God like a fucking firework show. Danny's so fucking angry, and pissed, and hurt, and so goddamn overjoyed that he's alive and here that he sends them both to the ground, and if he doesn't calm down he's gonna take out the power in a five block radius.

there's just so, so much yelling on Danny's end. And then so much crying, first from Danny and then them both. because god, you're alive. you're here. i've missed you so much. i'm never letting you out of my sights again.

and Joker's death! God I don't want to actually say too much about that, but the way I have it set up thematically makes me actually not want danny to take any part of the joker with him as an offering. and he may actually forego that particular ghost etiquette and offer something else as an offering to Jason in substitute to not bringing him the Joker's heart/head/ritualistic body part.

Because you know what the last thing a man whose been spending the last two decades of his life building himself up to be larger than life would want? A death that's unremarkable. :) and that's all i'll put on the matter for now.

and the batfam!! they technically already know that jason hasn't told danny he was resurrected, and plenty of them have mixed feelings on them. largely bruce and dick i think, considering they saw firsthand how close jason and danny were when they were kids.

Dick was honestly surprised at first when he found out that Jason hadn't told Danny he was alive - and on one hand he understands the reasoning for it, and on the other hand he isn't sure if it was such a good idea. Especially after he sees Danny again after he arrives back in Gotham and sees just how badly Jason's death was still affecting him. But it's not like he's going to try and convince Jason to tell him - he can make his own choices, even if Dick has questions about them.

Bruce has much the same thoughts as Dick, so there's not really much to add here other than he might bring it up once or twice to Jason like, vaguely. And then immediately drops it when Jason shuts him down. He might actually somewhat...?? prefer that Jason hasn't told Danny because that raises a lot of questions and could jeopardize their identities. However, again, Jason can make his own choices and there's not much Bruce can do about it other than disapprove from afar.

Tim who knew of Danny from stalking the Wayne family shares similars sentiments of being surprised that Jason didn't tell Danny, but again, yeah, understands the thought process to some extent. Doesn't bring it up ever.

Everyone else who hadn't seen firsthand how close Danny and Jason are don't really have much opinion on it -- Jason didn't tell his best friend he was alive, great, he also didn't tell them either so it's not like its that much of a surprise. It would've been more of a surprise to them if Jason had told Danny before he told Bruce and co. Damian may make a comment or two about Jason not telling Danny, but its not about how he can't believe he didn't tell him or anything like it.

[blackheart-6]

noelle holiday age progression chart

without height lines

explanations of designs:

hi yall

so, i actually finished this drawing like a week ago lol. but i didnt want to post a bunch of drawing in a row, and then i got sick, so i havent been able to post it till now!

its my imaginings of what noelle looked like as she grew up, and a potential adult noelle design! ill explain my thought processes about these designs below, if anyones interested 😁

i also plan on doing one of these with dess, but this one was pretty difficult, so it might be awhile before that (unless yalls are interested in seeing it?)

first off, im not 100% sure ill keep using all these designs. some of them im not that happy with (im no good at designing outfits 😔) but i just went with them so i could finish the drawing. so if anyone has any alternative outfit ideas for any of her ages, id be interested in seeing/hearing it!

secondly, something that may stick out to yall for all the designs is how tall she gets. its the same height i normally draw her with, but given how i usually draw her by herself you cant really tell how tall she is! i have 3 main reasons for why i headcanon her as this tall: deer are pretty tall irl, so having her be tall makes sense in my head; i just like the look of her being super tall, it makes me happy lol; and third, i personally also headcanon the holiday family as boss monsters (i think ive explained this headcanon before on here, so i wont explain again, unless someone is interested ^^). so yeah, she ends up being 7 feet tall as an adult, the second tallest in her family!

also, i gave all her children forms stripes in some way, as a reference to when monster kid in undertale says they can tell frisk is a kid because of their stripes!

now onto my explainations for individual drawings!

theres nothing really to say about her baby design. the only thing i did that might be new is give her faun spots! they are most plentiful on her baby form, but they persist until shes in her teens, i would say (on here you cant see them after age 7, but thats just because i imagine they are mostly on her back). and i gave her a cute lil onsie that says a-deer-able! if you guys cant read it ^^

this outfit i made for her toddler design is actually an outfit ive used in the past! i wonder if yall know what drawing it was? its pretty much the same as it was there, i just added a stripe to the shirt. i felt like overalls are so reminiscent of childhood, i had to give at least one of her designs them! i also added a little mistletoe to the front pocket, to make it more christmas-esque. and i gave her some bandaids, just cause.

7 years old is one of the designs i really struggled on, and im still not happy with it. i dunno if ive said this yet, but i headcanon noelle to be trans, so at 7 is when i decided she started realizing it. so here i gave her long sleeves and pants, to show how shes more hidden now because shes unhappy with herself, if that makes any sense? i was also trying to make her look a bit like a nerd, with the button up and khakis, just because its funny. but yeah, ill probably end up changing this design at some point :P

11 years old was one of the easiest to do, considering how ive had her design for this age for awhile lol. one thing i did change was going from 2 red/white stripes to one, but ive done that before, so it wasnt something entirely new. i also gave her a smile and closed eyes, cause shes happy being a girl 🥰. other that that, its the same, so yeah, thats it for this part

okay, this next design is a fairly different looking one than all the rest, but i have my reasons! at this point in noelles live, dess has gone missing, so i wanted to show her being sad and stuff. i also gave her shoes and long sleeves because she probably goes out looking for dess when she can, hoping to find a lead 😭. but outside of in-story stuff, this outfit is based off of an old one i drew, but its fairly edited, so i wouldnt be surprised if no one recognizes it even if they have seen my old stuff. she has straight hair here, to show how unhappy she is (idk what it is about straight hair it just feels sad) and because i wanted to give her different hair varieties on this progression chart. i gave her antlers 2 prongs each at this point, because the way i see deer monsters, their antlers show their growth/aging, so youll see them getting bigger and having more prongs as the chart continues.

this outfit for 15 is another one i dont like. i tried to make it similar to her current outfit, but still pretty different. im not even sure what precisely i dont like about this outfit, it just doesnt feel that good. for this one i gave her leg warmers because i used to (and sometimes still do) draw her normal outfit with them. i gave her the curly hair she has as a callback to when i used to draw her hair like that! but yeah, ill probably end up redoing this one too

for 17, i just gave her the normal outfit, so it was easy ^^. in game i think shes 16, but close to turning 17, so i just went with 17 here to fit the +2 age pattern thing i had going on. i also gave her an extra horn prong than i normally give her, just to show age once again

finally, her adult design! i dont like this one either lol. i spent so long trying to think of what outfit to give her, but i couldnt come up with something i liked >.< so i just gave her something simple. i feel like once noelle graduates high school and probably goes to college she branches out more and tries things her mother never let her do, which is why i gave her an outfit like that, that has a crop top and a shorter skirt. also, yalls might recognize the hair style i gave her, i drew a potential adult noelle before and i gave her the same hair ^^

i think thats all for the post! i probably have more thoughts that im just not thinking of, but its fine for now. i hope yall enjoyed the drawing, and if you have any question or comments or whatever, go ahead and say them!! if youve made it this far, have a cookie, you must be hungry after reading so much ^^ 🍪

[marybeatriceofmodena]

I'm curious, do ppl hate Love Never Dies because they think Eristine is problematic and it's made canon in it, or is it due to something else? I havent watched it yet or anything but i like the vibes, lol

Heh... Love Never Dies has always been controversial at the very least? It came out at a time where Erik/Christine was still the most popular ship in the phandom - it still is, by the way. That didn't change despite a clear shift in fandom and ""problematic content"" around 2013, so a good 3 years after the musical came out. If anything, Raoul/Christine shippers have been a minority for most of the phandom's history, and both sides of the debate at some point more or less decided to agree to disagree (I mean, the homophobic slurs Raoul would get at times were starting to REALLY be in poor taste), except on the point that without the love triangle, there wouldn't be much of a story, and there are various ways of interpreting said love triangle. So, quite frankly, I don't understand why some people on either side are trying to restart discourse in the POTO fandom but I digress. And look, if you see people in the tags saying that Erik/Christine is problematic, they're probably new, and not really representative of the phandom at large. Anything having to do with Sierra Boggess is more controversial.

I really don't think the controversy stems from it making Erik and Christine bang and have a love child - I know there are some people who are against the idea of any kind of sequel, in fanfic form or otherwise, for a variety of reasons, but most of them were being responsible adults about it and didn't actively seek fanfic. As I mentioned before, a lot of folks were Erik/Christine shippers and thought that Christine was more into the Phantom than into Raoul, that's nothing new. But a lot of them also had issues with how LND dealt with it, for several reasons. It didn't come from an "anti" sentiment, it was very much them having issues with the material that was presented to them.

Raphael/phantoonsoftheopera (who is a long time fan of POTO) goes into more detail here and I think he sums up a lot of phans' thoughts back in 2010 when LND came out (whether they shipped the Phantom and Christine or not), and I think @musicalhell is another one who was also around at the time (feel free to pop in, and hope I'm not bothering you with the tag).

As for the rest, I wish I could defend ALW's choices here in the same way I'd defend Lana Wachowski for Matrix Resurrections - i.e. you're allowed to not like it but this is this creator's baby and they're allowed to do whatever they want with it, so let's all respect art for the sake of art here. But LND is very much a vanity project, as ALW has proven multiple times, that is mean-spirited to its core in various ways. For my fellow SW fans, it's the TROS to POTO'S TLJ. The cast and crew were treated in a really shitty way back in the original London production days, same with critics of the show, and there was even a case where a journalist and long time phan who provided a critical review of LND was demeaned in an article as some sort of sad housewife who was obsessed with POTO. Mind you, ALW has tried to make LND work FOR YEARS, with various productions and tours opening here and there, but it always underperforms. And mind you, the Eristine crowd is still hanging around, and POTO is doing extremely well whereever it goes to this day. If the Eristine content was good, the crowds would follow, "problématique" posts and tweets or not. They aren't there.

[study-core-101]

Hii your blog is so inspiring and helpful ❤

I don't know if you already posted about this but I want advice :D

I'm studying the equivalent to High School in my country (two years only) and I'm trying to strive more. Lately I have realised that I never have free time. I spend the afternoons studying, then I have dinner with my parents, watch something on TV, go to sleep and at those hours I'm so tired that I don't have the energy to do anything else I enjoy. Meanwhile, I see my friends and others at my class going out, going to extracurriculars, getting things done faster...

I've always had the feeling that I only do the things I like during summer break.

I can't help but wonder how am I gonna do when I'm in collage (if I actually get there)!

I would like to ask you if you had any advice, or tips about managing time etc

Pd: sorry if this was too long, personal or if I made any gramatical mistakes lol

Hii, sorry it took me so long to answer! From what I heard, it sounds like so kind of burnout. I'm no expert on this topic, so I'm going to leave the links of the sources just in case! (x) (x)

One of main components it's exhaustation. Feeling tired all the time and having no energy. Not only it impacts the mental and physicial health, but the perfomance. This usually stems of being always "on", overwork culture/mentality, pressure (whether internal or external) and the dislike of the tasks. What I recommend is:

Actually rest. Do activities that make mentally rest or dont do any activity, just take some time for yourself. Listen to your favourite music, take a bath, do some breathing exercise. Relax. Here are some more mental rest activities.

Dont beat yourself for resting. A lot of times, we "rest" but it isnt actually rest, because instead of focusing on yourself you are worrying about not doing anything productive 24/7. That looks like rest, but it isnt, it is just more tiring. All the toxic productivity mentality has to go.

Schedule time to do nothing. Establish clear moments for resting.

Take breaks.

Prioritaze tasks. Yes, we all want to have everything done perfectly and complete, but sometimes that is just impossible. The best way to classify them in order is 1) urgent and important; 2) not urgent but important; 3) urgent but no important; and 4) not urgent not important.

Have a good sleep schedule.

Drink water and eat all your meals

Find a hobbie or something you are passionate or at least midly interested on. Something that fills you with joy and seek to. At the beggining it will feel like a waste of time, but once you find something, well, let's just say, try it.

Another thing is the mindset. Negative thinking is unmotivating and tiring. Switching to a more possitive mentality does wonders.There are a lot of ways to reframe negative thoughts, I'm not familiar with most of them so I cant really explain, but here is an article that explains on detail how to do it.

Even though exhaustation and mentality are key to feeling burn out, inefficiency also has an important role. There are millions of study methods, but not a single one works for every person. Maybe you use a "good" study technique, but it isnt the right one for you. I'd recommend trying new ways of studying you havent tried before, see if at least one works for you. I'm going to honest with you, I dont know a lot of methods, since i found the one that works with me I havent tried new ways, here is a list of study methods with explanations that I'm using to draft future posts. Here are the links for the posts are posted about blurting, feynman and pq4r, if any of those sound helpful.

SELF CARE!!!!! Self-care is so important. It's been a common theme in this post, but I will repeat it once more, take care of yourself.

If these are also helpful, I'll leave the links for previous posts about motivation to start, motivation in general, and a reward system for motivation. Not all the tips in those posts will work, actually, some of them may contradict with what I just said, but I posted them with a different situation in mind. Take the tips that will help you and ignore the ones you think will just make it worse.

Hope this helps and good luck!

[insidethemachine]

Samatoki Aohitsugi - Hypnosis Microphone 碧棺 左馬刻 - ヒプノシスマイク

Heyo, how’s it going~? 

Here it is the baddie of Samatoki xd I dont like him very much (why he has to be so mean to Ichiro sometimes ;-;) but I love how he raps, grows over all the lore and protects Nemu uwu also he turned quite the fine man in 3D lol

Talking about the sims, I had quite the travel with the shirt and boots in... in blender xD I know I said i wouldnt touch the damn program (I am a Maya fanboy (?)) but this shirt was the only one that checked all the boxes, just that it had a pocket and the pocket was a different UV island obviously so I had to re uv a little xd I tried adding more buttons but it didnt go well lol I suppose it is bcs i have to paint weight or add the buttons to the rig but i dont know shit about rigging lol The boots was just scaling them up a little cause they were clipping badly with all jeans I tried unu didnt want the jeans to go over bcs... thats not how Sama wears his boots xd does he have tats? I dont know, but I didnt add any either lol

also see this beautiful eyesss @pralinesims you diy eyes are so GOD uwuwu

cc list uwu:

Skin: https://mousysims.tumblr.com/post/627162293823848448/face-only-skinblend-masculine-feminine-all by @mousysims

Eyes: https://www.patreon.com/posts/di-eye-diy-eye-34678649 by @pralinesims Eyelashes: http://kijiko-catfood.com/3d-lashes-uncurled-eyelashes-edition/ http://kijiko-catfood.com/eyebrow-ver2/ by @kijiko-sims

Hair: https://www.patreon.com/posts/69024002 by @zaozzaa

Bracelet, piercings, necklace amd boots: https://losts4cc.tumblr.com/post/640675057738317824/s4simomo-anime-cc by Simomo, I did scale up the boots a little xd they erased all their cc and sns (i had their cc from long ago xd), be cautious when downloading not from original source >< (that's why I put full links, is not aesthetic, but at least you can select it and paste it yourself and know before hand where you are going xd, I havent had problems with the sim comm but you never know sadly...) Shirt: https://www.patreon.com/posts/kk-collar-shirts-52975513 by @ooobsooo, retextured by me Jeans: https://www.patreon.com/posts/50105559 by @gorillax3-cc CAS BG: https://vyxated.tumblr.com/post/719719135185092608/cas-replacements-set-02 by @vyxated Reshade: https://fiesemietze.tumblr.com/post/641246832367992832/preface-download-at-the-end-reshade-version by @fiesemietze Poses: https://nell-le.tumblr.com/post/189644526639/male-model-pose-pack-n1-27-male-poses-ingame-and by @nell-le https://katverse.com/2019/10/25/pose-pack-22/ by @katverse https://karzalee.wixsite.com/studiok/post/2018/04/28/skc-male-pose-set-4 by @karzalee https://www.patreon.com/posts/request-sitting-48869510 by @helgatisha this time i downloaded all new brand poses so I know which I used xd

If something is missing, you can found it in my last posts maybe xd. As always, if you want some retexture just pm me uwu

That’s all for today~, next comes fancy corrupt cop Iruma Jyuto uwu I really like him xd last year I made his sim but it turned quite bad hope i can re do it and turns smth good xd good thing that I lost that save so I can start fresh xd just sad cause I liked my old Rio (Rio is one of my favs uwu) unu

little extra, wanted to share my buster bros desktop uwu

they look so cool uwuwu I retouched the image a little cause the lighter in me likes a good bloom in a bright image lol also matched the visualizer to their colors uwu

baii!

[butchfortress]

realized i havent posted here much so, umm,

who wants to hear about my blu team headcanons ^__^ this is just my rundown of how they work, what they're like, and even weapon loadouts

ok so im going to roll with the teams being clones, but i dont want to make any sort of drama to be just about that, like that whole existential dread of being a clone thing. its been done to death and i have nothing new to say for it (besides, i'd assume the inital cloning process was years ago when they just got hired, by now the novelty would of worn off and weirder stuff would of happened for them to even care or worry about that.) so what i'm thinking is that there's no way everyone would have the exact same experiences after they get cloned, so everyone just splits off into their own paths and they become their own individuals almost. and interacting with themselves from the other teams isnt "oh thats literally me :(" but more so "oh thats literally me and i need to be better than him >:(" so theres always this bit of competition between everyone; an infinite loop of anything you can do i can do better.

as for everyone individually...... (i'll also throw in a ⭐ for whoever is the "master copy" of themselves)

blu scout: short stop / mad milk / stock bat

accidental honorary delivery boy. when miss pauling is busy with the actually important work, admin sends this scout around the teufort area to send out weapons and other mann co. products. red scout sees him as a bit of a poser poster child and they butt heads often, especially when red scout is off-shift while blu is making deliveries.

blu soldier: rocket jumper / b.a.s.e. jumper / market gardener

if not maybe a bit more of a conspiracy nut and more compliant to the company, i guess the most similar to his original version? can't beat perfection i guess, not a lot of notes here but they probably bite each other for fun.

blu pyro: decreaser / shotgun / neon annihilator

not visually different or note worthy either, but whatever she and red pyro have is unspoken, vicious, and brutal. they will tear each other limb by limb anytime they're in proximity. definitely another reason that fuels most of the team's fear towards them.

blu demo ⭐: iron bomber / scottish resistance/ nessie's nine iron

strategic, cool, and a bit of a schemer. a real master at his craft with sticky bombs and planning traps. red demo actually likes him but blu HATES him since he (red) got the eyelander and he (himself) didn't, so he's very bitter towards him (wow this is confusing.)

blu heavy: tomslav / family business / eviction notice

goes missing from base a lot, no one knows why. he seems to be doing illegal assassin work both inside and out of company payroll. both heavies actually are in contact often and blu gives a good chunk, if not all, of what he makes to him. i'd assume any of the clones visiting anywhere outside of the immediate tuefort area would be problematic and would have restrictions to prevent two of the exact same person from walking around in the world at once, so blu heavy lets his other self take it so long as it goes directly to his mom and sisters. if he can't visit them personally, at least him knowing they're stable financially and doing well is more than enough for him.

blu engineer ⭐: rescue ranger / wrangler / wrench

the dell conagher, enough said. he's the most in contact with admin behind miss pauling for her own purposes. he'd rather not think about his red counterpart, but i will say that this version does not have the gunslinger. that was all red engineer post-cloning. but he does have the only australiam tool between both teams so it balances out maybe.

blu medic ⭐: overdose / vaccinator / solemn vow

he thinks hes dr fritz ludwig from emesis blue 🤣🤣🤣 tries VERY hard to be a cold collected scientist but ends up being more neurotic and jumpy. screams a lot. actually maybe dislikes his team? and loathes his own red copy for actually trying (who btw (red) is having a great time knowing his existence is an abomination to god, its even an affirmation he tells himself in a mirror.)

blu sniper: huntsman / razorback / kukri

ironically one of the few blu team members that actually stay put in the base. he doesnt call his folks as per aforementioned restrictions, but he has no beef with his red counterpart for that. the worst they do is get extremely competitive; theyre at the top of their game and even have stand offs of just aiming for hours until someone flinches.

blu spy ⭐: revolver / black rose / dead ringer / red-tape recorder

the man, the myth, the legend. more carefree and unserious than red spy, thats partially because he doesn't know about scout's relation to him. red spy found that out post-cloning, he's missing that one bit or character development that makes him a more mature and cold mercenary, but at this moment he's none the wiser. so aside from expected spy vs. spy shenanigans, their conflict is a bit more deeply rooted. he actually visits the red base a LOT, to only a few people's knowledge. makes a lot of long tangents.

[the-harbour-official]

Harbour Drabble Event 2024 coming soon!!!!!!!!!!

Hey everyone! So brilliant news...July is coming up and I've been thinking about the drabble event we hosted in our server last summer, and how much fun it was and how batshit insane i went on it lol, and I've decided it's a good idea to host it again this year! so this is the post with all the important info for the Harbour Drabble Event 2024 <3333333

"what is this even anyway roo???"

you may ask! if you were not here a year ago! it's a very lowkey event, low commitment for anyone who wants to participate- basically the idea is that you write drabbles about The Starless Sea during or before the month of July and submit them, and I'll post them on this blog!

if you don't know what a drabble is!! it's a very short piece of fanfiction- we're going for this event with the traditional definition meaning its exactly 100 words of fic, usually capturing just one small moment! i highly recommend going for it if you've never written drabbles before, it's a really fun creative exercise and way to write fic without spending a huge amount of time! i had never written a drabble before we did this event last year and i became. quite prolific lol

"ok but what do i do with the drabbles tho????"

some options! you can:

post them to your own tumblr blog and tag us so i can reblog them!

submit them to this blog so i can post them!

if youre in the server and more comfortable with discord you can dm them to me and i will post them here!

"ok fine so what do i write drabbles about then"

the starless sea! lol

last year i gave myself a theme for every weekday (because i was posting AT LEAST once daily god that was unhinged id be like posting two drabbles from an airplane or some shit) but anyway i thought id use these as optional prompts for the event this year! these are not mandatory just some ideas of what to write!

More Drabbles Monday - anything lol

Time and Fate Tuesday - drabbles about Mirabel and the Keeper or their previous incarnations!

Cheese Wednesday - not actually one of my themes last year but kristin @boogleboot wanted a cheese day so a cheese day you will have my dear <333

Monday Part Two Thursday - anything again

Fateheart Friday - drabbles focusing on characters, events, and/or the new Harbour from Fateheart! (the greatest known work of tss fanfic if you havent read it you should)

Sad Times Saturday - angst <3333

Son of the Fortune Teller Sunday - drabbles about Madame Love Rawlins and her children <3333 (yes dorian and kat are her children be so fr)

more prompts may be to come! but yes submit drabbles any time from now until the end of July <33333 love you all peace out

[inevitablestars]

HEY LINDS this is my Official Attempt to sway you towards perciver i hope you like it and that it doesnt turn you off them forever, now first off!

general relationship potential:

percy and oliver are in the same year and as far as we know they are the only boys in gryffindor in their year which makes them not only roommates but also the only boys in their room. for seven years.

percy is incredibly misunderstood by his whole family pretty much always, they all avoid him or are rude to him or just misunderstand him completely. with oliver's proximity its very likely hes the first person ever in percys life to properly observe him and understand him!!!

percy is the most career driven singleminded ambitious motherfucker in gryffindor.... second only to oliver!!! who is the most quidditch obsessed bitch on this planet and arguably has more solid career goals of anyone in that entire series. they are hyperfocused! they are girlbossing! they are not getting a wink of sleep bc they both get so lost in their work they forget what time is!

classic jock/nerd combo except oliver is a jock who is secretly a nerd (think of all the quidditch stats!!) and percy is a nerd who is secretly a jock (percy is a master spellcaster and nobody can convince me otherwise, that man fought multiple death eaters on his own at the battle of hogwarts and you do not get that kind of skill from just sitting behind a desk)

idk theres honestly a lot of directions one could take them but theyve just got so much chemistry and so much in common but also different and theyve got so much potential

(in my head they are the definition of autism/adhd solidarity but i know that not everyone hcs them that way which is cool too)

now for fic recs!!!

Twenty-nine - 85k - Endrina

percy weasley-centric fic that is honestly one of the most creative interpretations of him ive ever read, it goes deep into his past and his canonic decisions and stuff but theres a twist to it that is just gold, also its a whodunit where oliver's been framed for murder and only percy knows hes innocent its very very good and definitely played a huge part in me falling in love w percy's character

A New Life - 89k - AnotherAuthor, myroaringtwenties

percy and oliver meet post-war and help each other get their lives moving forward again, its very well written and very sweet but mind the tags its kinda heavy at points, it doesnt shy away from how hard the war was on everyone but the community that the weasleys and the quiddich players have is very warm and i love it

At least he has great abs - 12k - Irisen

this one is a cute shorter nonmagic soulmate au where oliver is a famous footballer and percy is a politician and they end up being soulmates, its very funny and light and i just enjoy it

(also i am technically writing a perciver fic rn its called Rely On Me and the first two chapters are up on ao3 but its my first fic attempt and i havent updated it all summer bc Life so pls dont feel obligated to read it i just felt like it would be weird if i didnt mention it)

anyway! i hope you enjoyed this if nothing else and if you read these or find other perciver fics or just wanna talk about em lmk bc i am always down to talk perciver i love them with my whole heart and soul <3

josephine hello. is this from literally ten months ago? perhaps it is. but i'm here now.... you mentioned perciver earlier and it reminded me that this has been sitting in my inbox for SO LONG

alright let's get into this

• iconic of them to be alone in a dorm for seven years together that already screams soulmates

• you're so right these two get their minds set on something and they're going to get it they're going to achieve whatever they want (tbh i already think they should put that energy toward like Getting Together but i distress)

• nerd jocks! a slay tbh

• i see the autism adhd thing i get it

• i also think like yeah i agree they have a lot in common when you dig into them but from one glance it's like ? these two? really? but then you see who they are at their core and it's like oh of course how could you think anything else (i have a lot of characters and dynamics that this sorta concept applies to i get it)

also love the inclusion of fic recs which i will check out when i am back to reading <3 consider myself convinced (it did not take much you already convinced me by just sending this ask)

[sonny-whorezik]

haiii ... like a week short of a month since i left everything.... i just wanted to use as Journal and catch up before i do Fully return to social media, gettin rid of the app after this post yet again:

has . been . rough. grief has been consistent the last month from my best friend and now ex leaving me, losing that new job due to being physically sick from grief and being unemployed an additional month, my best best friend my dog, sage, passed away last friday and although i left to drive to kansas i just didn't make it in time. She has wind chimes over her grave and passed listening to the sound of the wind chime my great grandma left for me. two days after her passing marked the First Full Year since my grandpa passed away, i had a dream the night before where we drove around looking at christmas lights with people no longer in my life and he just looked so so sad. i am consistently physically alone; i facetime a couple friends but i go outside alone, sleep/wake up alone, eat alone, this has been going on since i left arizona in november Most of my time is spent completely alone.

ive tried new habits. i meditate and stretch in the morning and night. i read a page a day of a stoicism book my dad got me last year with a propeller hat. i see a therapist weekly, wake up earlier, even floss now. The complete back to back to back grief has left me no choice but to just Do Something. while i would Love to share something with someone its best i reserve it to myself, yet here i am vacantly sharing my last month to who knows who...

my friend invited me to see stop making sense last night in a farther town, showed the original film not the remastered and general admission was all standing and everyone acted as if it was a real concert dancing and singing. this was my 6th time seeing it in a theater. did not cry once yet celebrated the experience i have had and although i will never have anything quite like i did with someone quite like them, at least i had it for a good portion of my life. had to devote this must be the place to myself, foreign. to be completely transparent, i do miss them every day. i do not cry like i used to, i dont let myself get consumed by thought and feeling, ive grown more desensitized as time has passed, but i still miss them of course. i consistently see things that remind me of them even when theyre not on my mind and when sage died i wanted to reach out so terribly; reminisce of the fort we built where she slept with us and i had no one to talk to but my mom who was with her til the end. i didnt. i havent reached out. it is not my place given they were the one to leave i just will not keep reaching out and chasing someone who sounded so blatantly apathetic on our last phone call. i tell myself it was just a form of self preservation to them but yknow. like. that's it, i have no choice but to experience grief with self compassion and continue on, wherever that goes.

i may be starting TMS treatment , having magnets zap my brain 5 days a week, 6 weeks. i see a cardiologist on the 30th since my chest frequently hurts and both ekgs have concerns in the pause between beats. my pulse at resting is consistently around 120 yet my blood pressure is fine; who knows. well i guess ill know actually in 10 days. im finishing a vape, got a full pack of cigarettes ive yet to touch yet plan to quit smoking here soon in hopes it helps. maybe after my pack to eliminate temptation yet not waste my money... i bought it an hour before sage passed. i barely drink coffee and dont use energy drinks anymore i do what i can for my heart now.

atticus still sleeps with me, most nights. sometimes he wanders the living room when i cant sleep. im almost halfway through galapagos. i washed my sheets for the first time since buying them in august. im very much alone and this is all fine i tell myself. the stoicism has encouraged me to alter my perspective on things more rationally as opposed to the wired self deprecating and depression-based "take everything personally" thought processes ive had for 18 years. im on my phone significantly less and i even wrote a piece on piano i may share after this post. ive been transposing it to cello, my grandma requested.

i have no interest in perusing anyone anytime soon still, whether its still too early or what i think i do just Need to do these things alone for a while. ive never found sole stability in others, i learned this at 6 with my dad, yet while outside aid would help, it is not a requirement to live however. forgive me for how long this is and for leaving once again there are a few of you i used to talk to daily and now ive just got a few contacts in my phone.

despite chronic mental illness, mourning, loneliness, you name it, ive never taken this approach before. i will typically have a suicide attempt yet here i am doing a pancake stretch and ommm-ing every morning. i keep as busy as i can, today i went through every single thing i own to sort donations and the day before i deep cleaned. there is a box wrapped in a blanket of some of the things that remind me of them. i went through it today and brought out some things like the books theyve given me, it doesnt hurt as much anymore to remember. im donating the mugs i never gave them and the one theyd use at my house when theyd come over. all their letters havent been reread yet sit in between the photo of us in the cave. it was nice to see. i am so honored they let me, of all people, share these experiences with them. i am more thankful it happened then miserable itll never happen again; at least i had it for a while. i say this yet if a year passes and i hear from them, i would love to reconnect: hear how their life has been, what they've been doing, how their family is and if they are doing better. if this has helped. while for 6 years i believed they were really it for me, whether we ever dated or not ive always considered them the only one who Really Knew who i was, how i worked, you name it. although im "moving on" by taking care of myself more, it is upsetting to admit if i ever have a chance again, id take it in a heartbeat. i say this yet still believe Even if i do never get a chance, that's okay too. While i would, i dont anticipate it, rely on it, sit in denial "theyll surely come back," its alright if they never do. i live each day as if they never will yet to my core do know that i would try again

a knee ways .. i hope you, whoever reads, is doing okay, that you feel alright and what not. you dont have to feel good every day, but at the least alright i hope ... not sure if/when ill come back maybe just once a month im unsure yet .was just in a solid enough state to do this for a moment . wish you all well ,

[frogndtoad]

Do you have your favorite albums shared in a post somewhere? I've been trying to find new music and the only thing I wouldn't care to listen to are songs that tend towards vulgarity, so I'd really appreciate some recs if you've got some :,)

howdy anon! always happy to share new music - i don't have a post, but a few of my all-timers are:

Stars - Heart maybe my favorite album by my alternatingly favorite band; absolutely atmospheric indie pop mostly about love, for better or for worse (as in contextually. all of the songs rule). plus theres french horn!

Streetlight Manifesto - Everything Goes Numb the ska-punk album so good it took me over half a decade to get into ska fr because nothing else could measure up. absolutely epic horns quite good lyrics. wish i coulda made any of the anniversary shows this year

Clipping. - Splendor & Misery perfect afrofuturist noise rap concept album about a slave spaceship and the sentient ai that controls it and the human who breaks free. probably the least gory clipping album if thats an issue for u. i love listening to static dot jpg

The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ if there is a theme in this list let it be my love of horns. other alternatingly favorite band, and if you havent checked these guys out what are you even doing sending asks to frogndtoad dot tumblr dot com. this is their concept album about pro wrestling - a lot bigger sounds than some of the earlier lofi stuff, plenty of lines still about getting stabbed or doing stabbing. but to a jaunty little horn feature! i have rotating top goats but this has been it for a bit

Willi Carlisle - Peculiar, Missouri one of my favorite if not my favorite finds of the year. truly truly beautiful folk album i dont even know what else to say here. absolutely so excited for Critterland next year

disclaimer also that i was taken a little aback by the use of the word 'vulgarity' here in my asks on tumblr dot com for a couple reasons but tried at the very least to take ur sentiment as best as i could and provide some good albums i stand by. might not meet your needs but its not esp gorey and its not esp raunchy and i hope that you enjoy

oh also!! i do keep an #album-log tag that i update periodically with roundups of what ive been listening to and how much; theres a few stats there. might try to keep a better maintained recs tag in the new year but mostly i do that at least for myself i just think its fun to share also

[doctordaddysir]

A post I never thought I'd have to make

A few days ago there was a post made by instructor144 asking this "Need folks with better memory for details than my brain can manage to sound off here. Years back, we had a predator out there, claimed he was a "retired psychologist," fucked over some susceptible subs rather badly as I recall. Does anyone remember details, anyone fall victim to this guy, etc? Got a DM from a follower, looks like he's still out there doing his thing, but I'm fuzzy on the details after all this time."

At that time they were looking for a blog with the name of greywlf or a-greywlf, or iterations close to that. He's someone that has been around for years harassing, gaslighting, supposedly blackmailing etc. A really nasty person that claims to be a retired psychiatrist. He stops and restarts his blog with a slight twist on that name but the description and his posts are basically the same. He's really really bad news and should be a concern to everyone.

My problem now is that someone has "decided" that the picture of this person, positively identifies him as also being me and my blog. That person has spewed off that I AM a blackmailer etc and have been for years all based off a hunt for the other blog.

I AM NOT THIS PERSON NOR HAVE I EVER chased, harassed, blackmailed anyone. It's clear from his picture they posted what he looks like and it is a million percent not me. Someone just decided to tell people that I'm the same person and that I'm a predator.

I am all for warning people about predators, I even do it on my blog at times, but to have my name linked to it because I happen to have a beard and have the name doctor in my blog is insane to me.

I want to say thank you to the many friends that have reblogged the post and stated emphatically that it's not me. It means a lot.

For the record, I am a very happy Daddy Dom, who is not looking for anyone new and havent been looking for a long time. There are a few friends from Tumblr that are very close and have my personal phone number and see selfies from me a lot and they can attest that I'm not whoever this person is.

I've also met more some of my followers ,who became good friends, in person for lunch, to hang out, to talk, etc. I've even had impact sessions, play sessions etc with a few once we established all the needed boundaries, safety protocols, etc.

I have spent at least five years building this blog as a safe space to share my thoughts on this lifestyle and to share my stories.

I'm beyond disturbed and disappointed that my name has been attached to a vile person like that. I too remember different versions of greywlf over the years and know one follower in particular who had a bad run in with him back when she had a different blog name. She's changed the name of her blog since then and she's had the new name for several years, so I know he's been around a long time.

By all means get his blogs out there when you find them, but I am not this person, am not associated nor have I ever been.

I do not ask for people to send me dirty pictures, I don't send dirty pictures, I don't scroll my follower list and randomly message people hoping to "get my hooks in them".

It was even stated that I hated a certain blogger, instructor144, and blocked him years ago. That's definitely not the case, he and I have messaged on occasion and I have no hatred for that person nor have I ever blocked him "to keep him from finding me" etc etc etc.

This is honestly ridiculous that I'm even having to write this but I refuse to reblog that crazy post but will screenshot the post and some of my friends replies to tell the person that I'm not the person they're looking for, but those friends just get blocked by said person. It's sad and disappointing that one person can distort things to the point that the real predator is being lost in the shuffle.

[eggtwobroes]

big post explaining/apologizing for my (eggtwobroes/theyhitthepentagon) behavior under the read more

sorry for maintagging this i just. think its important

i dont really kniw how to word what im thinking so im like. going to type it as im thinking. but i wanted to make a real genuine post explaining my behavior over the past year, because ive been a dick there is no avoiding it!! this post is going to be about how ive acted from june up until now. im mostly going to be explaining the situations and apologizing. if you see this please feel free to share it around, i know it most likely will not reach alot of people because i have like. a loot of people blocked. and alot of people have me blocked. idk please share this ok thank u

back in june 2022 (specifically one year tomorrow, june 16th) i got like. really worked up after i had foundout that most of my adult mutuals (and some people i followed) were drawing hlvrai nsfw! the only post i had made about it (at least from what i remember) is liiike a not Kind post that basically said "hey if u like hlvrai nsfw please block me i thought that was common sense". after i posted this a large hlvrai artist (either by chance or caused by me) posted like "hey if u shit on hlvrai porn ur homophobic! sex is an important part of gay relationships etc etc"

this caused a Massive out break of discourse over hlvrai nsfw and me getting alot of adults in my inbox being weird towards me. here i feel its important to mention that:

when i was 12, i was around Ex Friends that posted a lot of porn of media i liked. even though most of them were teenagers and not that much older than me it Greatly Impacted Me and how i act, both related to what i saw and how i was treated

i used twitter from ages 12-15 (recently left) and you know how they handle conflict there. its not good

i dont think either of these excuse how i acted (but they may explain it)

the combined pressure of getting a bunch of adults in my anons being (from my perspective) really weird about this 14 year old kid who doesnt want porn artists to interact, and the unhealed trauma of Being Exposed To Homestuck Porn When I Was 12 (a devastating situation that everyone goes though all the time) i didnt really. handle it in a Good Way. which Means i sent horrible anon hate to people.i dont clearly remember if i made alot of public posts about the situation at the time (beyond answering the anons i was getting) but if i did im very very VERY sorry.

i feel like. alot of how i acted during this time (june-early august, mostly) was extremely Dickish and rude. as much as i justify or explain why i acted the way i did, i was still causing issues and handling the situation in a way that was unhealthy for not just myself but for everyone else around me. for this i really genuinely do apologize as much as i can, to the people ive hurt (melonsharks, xenodogz, many other artists) and to the people who were annoyed by me rehashing 3 year old drama. ever since the situation i have been working towards learning to block people and move on if they make content that makes me feel nauseous.

As for how ive acted in recent months, mostly over characterization, im not going to pretend that im already a new person. because im not! as much as i say im trying to be less of an asshole im just Not. it takes effort that i feel like im not putting in.

for those who just Dont look at my pages often enough, i will occasionally make posts about how hlvrai fans treat or characterize the. characters. and lets behonest these posts are really rude and ive been working on at LEAST being more vague or keeping it in private or like. just Not Posting it. but of course i HAVENT done all of those things! ive been really unvague!

ive posted direct screenshots of authors writing (someone younger than me, ive recently learned) to shit on it for being mischaracterized. i should Not have done that. at the very least i should have kept my thoughts to myself, not even shared with my friends.

after reading how other authors and artists have felt about the things ive said, and looking at the way ive come to think of other artists or authors in the community, ive realized that even though i thought i was targetting mischaracterization and poor treatment of the characters, i was harming and discouraging artists and authors who are still learning and growing as creators.

for this, im VERY very sorry to all of the artists and writers ive hurt or discouraged with my posts. i want to personally apologize to joyflameball, for publicly posting about and hating on your writing and the discouragement i caused as a result. i should have never put mischaracterization over your own feelings, and i definitely should not have put your work on blast, especially because we are (i think) around the same age. i will be trying as best as i can to deconstruct the way ive come to think of other creators in this community and support other creators as best i can.

i dont expect to be forgiven for the way ive acted, since alot of this is VERY very recent and so far i dont think ive shown any signs of improvement. i am writing this post now because i want you all to know that i will be trying my hardest to become a better person, change the way i think of other people, and change the way i act in public. i dont think my actions can be excused, as much as i try my best to explain them from my perspective. ive undeniably hurt many people. if i havent addressed something important, or if you have any questions/things to say, please feel free to send me an ask or dm me at wretched yaoi lich#9564 on discord. im most likely going to be queueing this post alot so my followers see it. thank u for ur time

[theygotlost]

i will still remain here as my primary social media until its physically impossible but all night ive been thinking about what I would do if/when tumblr is gone for real so here are my options:

twitter: probably not. its become a completely unusable wasteland ever since musk bought it and I deleted my account shortly after that. it used to me my other main social media but I can't see myself returning to it any time soon.

cohost/bluesky/pillowfort/some other new twitter alternative: ive never tried these out so idk how I feel about them but I'm thinking of making an account now and testing the waters. even if I do end up liking one of them I sincerely doubt many of my mutuals/followers would end up migrating with me, so there wouldn't really be much point. I would only have like 10 followers

neocities: ive never used this one either but idk how it's supposed to work as a social media. you can make your own website but is there like a feed where you can see other people's posts? I still want to be able to see what everyone else is up to

instagram: i hate instagram so much i really do but I feel like if I overhauled everything and made a new account and changed how i engaged with it it might genuinely be my best option at least for posting art. it's really not even good for posting art (the way i draw a lot of my art is optimized for being formatted on tumblr) but who knows. i currently have an art account there but a lot of irls from school follow it so I have to use my government name and I havent posted anything in over a year so I think the most viable option is to just start over with a new account exclusively for my tumblrinas. posting on instagram removes 1 year of my lifespan though

discord: not a social media website but I will make sure to add all my mutuals who I havent already. just like everyone else Im so bad at maintaining 1 on 1 conversation so I would rarely feel like hitting up anyone in particular and I also hate almost all servers. maybe I could finally cave and make my own mutuals server but i feel like nobody would give a shit

reddit: reddit scares the shit out of me cause i feel like its 90% straight men. there are fandom subreddits but they probably suck. and its not like i can post art there

go offline cold turkey and magically become a normal well adjusted functioning member of society with no mental issues: still waiting for this one to happen.

kill myself: 🤷‍♀️