#i instantly want to self harm

[tinytrashkid]

i feel like one of the reasons i get so frustrated and angry when doing anything is ‘cause my autistic brain can’t process things that well. someone will try and tell me what to do or show me how and it always takes me a minute for me to figure it out even thought they showed/told me what to do.

also no matter what i’m doing, it takes me so much longer than the average person to do it and i have no idea why. it’s really hard when most jobs are time based to see how effective the workers are and cut everything down to the minimum.

i always feel so behind everyone when they can do things so much easier and without a lot of guidance. it just sucks that the world is built on efficiency VS craftsmanship.

[sysig]

Finally made a Parapluesch OC, introducing Mama Oz ♥ (Patreon)

[daegall]

☆ tiny mishap

➷ in which your very protective boyfriend interrogates you about a certain wound you have

pairing: (opla!)bf!zoro x reader

genre: fluff, slight crack, established relationship!AU

warnings: injuries, booze, mentions of self harm (it is assumed, but false) based off opla!zoro, but has chopper bc chopper <3

word count: 1.5k words

a/n: to my nct audience; LOL SORRY IF THIS CAME UP IN UR FEED AND YOU GOT CONFUSED 😇🙏 currently obssesed over one piece live action dude i physically cannot explain how much i love all the characters :( (esp koby and nami's character development!!!) anw ive been having a major zoro brainrot so :) enjoy!!!

You grumble and keep a hand to your cheek, shoulders slumped and sore, as you walk into the kitchen, in search of someone specific.

Chopper, your trusty nurse and adorable friend, of course. Who else would heal the cut on your face and bruises on your arm?

Hearing a little action going on in the kitchen, you can only assume is your captain Luffy, or Usopp, as they both are food lovers, after all.

"Hey, have you guys seen Chopper anywhe–"

However, once you make it inside the kitchen, you are shocked to see the person you've been avoiding this whole morning.

"Oh," You breathe out. A frown curls on your lips once you realize he's got a bottle of booze wrapped in his hand, bringing it up to his lips as he turns to gaze at you. "Damn it, I thought I hid those..."

Your boyfriend's got a nasty habit of drinking alcohol. Anytime he wanted. Bored? He's either napping, training, or drinking his stupid booze. Tired? Booze. Feeling happy or sad? Stupid booze.

You've been trying to stop him before he becomes 80% alcohol, but he's better at finding it than you are at hiding it.

"Morning," Zoro mumbles, as he puts his bottle down. "tried to hide these just like you've been hiding from me me all day?"

At his words, you look away, taking a step away from him. "I don't know what you're talking about,"

"Why are you holding your cheek?"

When your eyes flicker back at him, he's got a worried frown, a crease in his eyebrows some might mistake as anger, but you recognize it as care.

He cares for you, and you hate how soft it makes you.

"It's just... cold," You attempt to lie, rubbing at your skin. Bad idea, as you fail to stop your hiss of pain.

Zoro instantly walks towards you, his hands releasing his bottle of beer, and his swords, to raise it to your face. One hand hovers over your uncovered cheek, the other wrapping it's fingers around your wrist gently.

"Show me."

You still, not knowing what to do. You know you're gonna succumb to him anyway, so there's no need to put up a fight, but you can't help how stubborn you are.

So, you don't step away, but you don't lower your hand anyway.

"Y/N," Zoro says sternly.

"It's nothing, I swear, just a tiny... mishap,"

"Then show me,"

Despite his voice being so harsh, and his gaze just as much, you know this is all because he loves you. You can tell by the way his thumb softly runs over your skin, you can tell by the way he steps closer to observe further, you can tell by the way he doesn't force you. He trusts that you trust him, and you hate how it works on you every time.

"Do you at least have any bandages?"

With your tiny voice and small gaze up at him, Zoro knows you've given in.

"You know I always do,"

It's true. With the amount of fights he gets himself into, he has at least 2 packs on him. Also in case you scrape your knee or get a papercut. It's the small things he does that assure you he cares.

He finally releases his grip on your wrist, walking back to pick up his bottle of beer on the counter. Before he can even take a sip, however, you hop onto the counter in front of him, and snatch the bottle, shaking your head.

"It's 10 in the morning." You remind him sternly.

Zoro can't stop the tiny smirk on the corner of his lips, huffing. "Yeah, yeah,"

You know he loves you, he knows you love him too.

It's the tiny things like this that prove it. The way you try to make him a better man, the way you'd instantly take care of his wounds yourself, the way you shush the other crewmembers when he's napping. And unlike you, he loves how soft it makes him.

"Take your hand off now."

Though you have a disapproving look, and grimace, you comply, slowly lowering your hand from your cheek.

You look down at your lap once you hear his sharp intake of air, playing with the hem of your shirt.

Zoro can't take his eyes off the cut on your cheekbone, his heart sinking impossibly quickly, cracking when he sees a bruise right under the cut. "What the fuck happened?"

"It just... happened," You mumble weakly.

"Who did it?" Zoro'a voice, once again, is harsh, but you hear the shake in it, worry.

"...I did,"

You know he takes it the wrong way the next second, considering how you answered him, you would have skipped to conclusions yourself.

"You're harming yourself?!"

You interject immediently, reaching out to grab his wrist, "No! God, no, Zoro,"

You haven't said his name until now, and it still manages to send a wave of warmth over his body. The way you are so quick to reassure him, the way you lean into his warmth, how your skin rubs against his comfortingly, it all warms him inside. He's only ever felt warm with you, which is why he loves you so much.

"Then how did it happen?"

At his question, you frown again, but it's less serious than before, it's more of a pout, if anything.

"It's stupid."

"It's not stupid if you're getting hurt."

"You'll think it's stupid,"

"Our captain is Luffy, whatever you do can't be that bad."

Zoro waits patiently for your answer, taking out the band-aid from his pocket. His eyes shine with anticipation, no longer (that) angry, and you're glad he isn't as worried anymore. You hate making him worry.

"I..." You hesitate for a second, tearing your eyes away from his gaze. You decide that it doesn't matter if he laughs or not in the end, because he won't ever see you differently. He's your Zoro, and he'll always be by your side.

"You know how there was a storm last night?"

Your boyfriend's eyebrows raise at your words, and he nods silently, gently sticking the band-aid to your cheek. He blows on it, making sure it's secure.

"I fell off my bed and face planted onto the floor,"

At your words, Zoro completely freezes, his fingers grazing the skin of your jaw. You can't tell what he's quite feeling, as one, you didn't have the pride to look at him for more than 2 seconds, and two, he remains as emotionless as a rock.

"...Zoro?"

Suddenly, there's a sound. A strange sound that comes from him. It's unfamiliar, but... strangely warm. You come to a conclusion that Roronoa Zoro, your cold, stoic boyfriend, is laughing. He's laughing with his whole heart, eyes squinting as he finally smiles, the prettiest, most precious smile you have ever seen.

Zoro's forehead lands on your shoulder as he continues, an arm wrapping around your waist to secure you in place.

"Roronoa Zoro are you laughing at me?"

"N-no–" He snorts. How dare he lie to your face.

Although he did flat out lie to your face, it's endearing. His laugh and smile is new, comforting, and you swear your could listen to it your whole life and not complain.

"I-I'm not laughing at you, I promise!"

"Doesn't look like it," You huff out with a grumble, facing away from, attempting to hide the shy smile curling on your lips.

"N-nooo!" Zoro chuckles. A sudden warm feeling envelops not only your chin, but your whole entire being, as Zoro tilts your head back to him, your heart almost stopping at the sight of his charming grin.

He's grinning.

And it's all because of you.

You have to admit, you're proud of yourself.

"You're just... too adorable,"

"Roronoa Zoro, you're flirting with me now?!"

"Shhh!" He shushes you, though its playful, and loving, placing his index finger on your smiley lips.

You two sit there, alone and together, for minutes on end, unable to let the moment become a memory. Zoro resumes with patching you up, caressing the bruises on your arm comfortingly.

It's moments like these that make you realize just how special you are to Zoro, and just how special he is to you, because who else on planet earth would be able to get him to laugh thay hard, grin that much, and love you that much?

You'd crash into the floor a million times if it meant seeing Zoro's smile, you'd admit to any embarassing moment, if it meant having to hear his melodious laugh.

"You know," He breaks the peaceful silence, causing you to grow concious of how you were staring at him. To be fair, the both of you don't mind staring at each other. What's there to hide? You love him, he loves you.

"you could come nap with me if you want. I could keep you anchored to the bed so you don't fall out again."

Considering how much he valued his hours of sleep, and alone time, this is something big he asks you of, and you feel a sweet warmth stirr in you.

This time, you don't grow shy, or snarl at his sarcastic remark. Rather, you grin at your lover, reaching up to pinch his chin playfully. "You'd like that, huh?"

"Don't say you wouldn't,"

"And if I drag you down with me?"

Zoro shrugs, ruffling your bed-head. "We'll both get to laugh and patch each other up."

You reach up to peck his cheek, before hopping off the counter. "I'll take you up on that someday,"

[altruisticalastor]

↳˗ˏˋAlastor x Readerˊˎ˗ ↴

☒ Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six

☒ Summary: "Alastor said we've met before. In the living world. But I seriously don't ever remember meeting him." Angel looked puzzled. "Soo... what do you remember from your life?" 

☒ Warnings: fem!reader she/her pronouns used, hurt with no comfort sorry, tons of confusion for alastor and the reader, one kiss, very suggestive language (its from angel- are we surprised?), slight self harming (alastor), blood, tears, arguing, desprate!alastor, toxic themes, split pov (second devider is when alastor's pov starts!)

☒ Word Count: 2,653

"You- WHAT?" 

Angel shot up from his spot on your bed. His eyes widened, eyebrows knitting in perplexity.

"I know- I know! It's bad... but I wasn't thinking clearly!" You slumped under Angel's judgemental gaze, pulling your knees up to your chest from where you sat on your bed. 

"Toots, there is no way his pussy eating skills are good enough to fuck you that dumb!" You averted your gaze. Heat rose to your cheeks from Angel's crass words.

"Oh, but they are..." You mumbled before you felt two of Angel's hands grip your shoulders, shaking you out of frustration.

"Did you really have to pick an absolute psychopath to be the one to pop your cherry? Toots, you're gorgeous. You could have anyone you want!" You were flustered beyond comprehension as Angel stopped shaking you. Opting to glare at your heated face instead. 

"We didn't go all the way! Plus he's the one who's been pursuing me all this time- I didn't get it at first, and I still don't. But-" Your expression morphed into one of contemplation. Angel's jaw went slack as he impatiently awaited your next words. "But what?! Spit it out!"

"He said we've met before. In the living world. But I seriously don't ever remember meeting him." Angel nudged you to the side before slotting himself atop your bed once more. "Soo... what do you remember from your life?" 

You froze. 

Angel's inquiry filled your mind with more questions than answers. 

"I... not much," You paused, turning to face Angel before you continued. "The earliest memory I have is waking up in a hospital bed after surviving a blow to the head from some hunting accident." 

You closed your eyes, wracking your brain for every last detail you could remember; no matter how small. "I ended up falling into a coma only days after that mishap. The next thing I know, I'm in fucking hell." You chucked bitterly. Angel let out a laugh of his own. 

"No offense, babe, but that has to be one of the saddest fuckin' things I've ever heard," Angel outstretched his legs, overlapping them atop yours. "That accident, what else can you remember about it? Maybe that's the ticket!" 

Your eyes shot open from Angel's question. "Wait... before I fell into a coma, there was this nurse- she told me that I was led into the woods by a dangerous fellow," You paused, eyes scanning Angel's wildly as he perched himself forward. Literally hanging on the edge of his seat from your musings. 

"She told me the gunshot wound saved my life, fucking ironic now because It ended up killing me anyway. She also said that... the man who took me into the woods was a serial killer who had been on the run for decades. He ended up getting shot in the head that night, also. Except he died instantly..."

Angel was hanging on to every word you uttered. He could see the pieces falling into place from your look of awe. "What was the man's name, toots? What was it?!" Angel shouted a little louder than he intended. You jolted back from his outburst, taking in a shaky breath. You replayed that memory with the nurse over and over again. 

She had to have said it at some point. 

Come on! Think, think- think!

“Turns out the man you were out in those woods with was a wanted serial killer. That 𝘈⃒̅𝘭⃒̅𝘢⃒̅𝘴⃒̅𝘵⃒̅𝘰⃒̅𝘳⃒̅ fellow was an active murderer for decades! The papers say he was good at steering clear of the cops for all these years. The hunter wasn’t even aiming for you both. His target was a nearby deer.”

"His target was a nearby deer."

A deer... 

Again. 

Retrace.

"That ɹ̸o̸ʇ̸s̸ɐ̸ʅ̸Ɐ̸ fellow was an active murderer for decades! The hunter wasn’t even aiming for you both. His target was a nearby deer."

Fuck- it was just out of reach. 

One more time, one more fucking time. 

Think carefully. 

"The hunter wasn’t even aiming for That A͊l͖a̪sto̶̸̅r̷̦͍ fellow. His target was a nearby deer."

You gasped sharply, startling Angel. You felt your heart sink into your stomach as the last piece of the puzzle fell into place.

"Alastor... his name was Alastor." 

Your voice was distant as you spaced out. Angel's face blurred out of focus through your line of sight. 

"You've got to be fuckin' kidding me. That freak was going to kill you when you were still alive-? And now... you belong to him? Shit- toots! This is rough... and not the good kind of rough." 

Alastor sat at the piano. Staring at the keys with that ever-present smile— but not daring to strike a tune. 

You’ve been avoiding him again.

What was it going to take for you to realize that he was your fiancé on earth? 

Sure, his features were more creature than man, but at the end of the day; Alastor was still the same man you fell in love with. 

Maybe he should have held off from his… desires. 

Could you blame him, though? He’s been waiting nearly a century to be reunited with his beloved. 

You’re the person he thought about for all these lonely years in hell. The only solace for Alastor was the notion that you survived, lived a long happy life, and inevitably made it to the pearly gates. 

So imagine his despair when you showed up at the Hazbin Hotel, looking to be redeemed. 

Alastor recognized you immediately. He could spot that grin of yours in a crowd of billions. 

Smile at the world, and she smiles back at you. 

But— you didn’t even spare him the time of day. Alastor gave you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you just needed some time to reignite your memory. 

And so, he gave you time. You’ll come around, Alastor thought. 

But he couldn’t have been more wrong, as much as he hated to admit it. 

He grew impatient— losing all of his resolve when you admitted to his voice reminding you of home. 

Alastor presumed maybe a passionate encounter would jumpstart your adoration for him. You had never breached that level of intimacy when you both were alive. You were adamant about waiting until marriage, but those dreams never came true. 

Yet even still, it was not enough. 

Was he really that forgettable to you? 

Suddenly, a knock on his door pulled him from his stupor. Alastor quickly cleared his throat, straightening his bowtie and taking steps toward his door. 

The second he swung the door open, he was met by the person who invaded his every thought; you. 

“What a pleasant surprise! Come in, my dearest.” Alastor piped up, stepping aside to let you into his safe haven. 

Your face was devoid of any vibrancy, and your eyes frantically avoided his. Alastor watched you closely as you hesitantly stepped past the threshold of his space. 

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Alastor hummed as he shut the door before turning on his heel to face you. 

You rubbed at the sleeve of your dress nervously. Alastor’s mind instantly flashed the memory of your first meeting. 

The sight of you soothing yourself with a gentle caress to your bicep. Clammy hands seeping perspiration through that gorgeous vermilion dress of yours.  

“I-I remember you…” Your voice was barely above a whisper. Legs trembling from where you stood before him.

Your words caused Alastor’s heart to race wildly. 

At long last— you remember him! 

“I knew you would, my smart girl! Ah- you have no clue how elated I am to finally hear those words leave your lips!” He invaded your personal space without missing a beat. 

Alastor’s eyebrows knitted in confusion as you dodged his hand— that had full intention of clasping around your cheek. 

“Don’t… don’t touch me.” Your voice was shrill as you took a step back from him. 

Alastor took one step forward. 

“My darling, why are you being so cold? You know how much I loathe teasing.” Alastor forced out a chuckle as you took two steps back. 

Alastor took three steps forward this time. 

“You’re sick! You’re the one who’s been teasing me all this time— how dare you?!” You spat, raising your hands to push him away, but to no avail. 

Alastor grasped your wrists with his large palms. He gazed down at you with a frenzied look, grip tightening scarcely around your wrists. “Darling… this isn’t funny anymore.” His voice was low, and the corners of his lips twitched in irritation. 

“It never was funny to begin with! I mean, how could you try to kill me on earth and then think it’s okay to fool around with me in hell?!” You glared up at him, tears of frustration now rolling down your cheeks. 

Alastor’s grip loosened from your words. He was utterly astonished. "You think I... tried to kill you?" His voice was quiet, crimson orbs frantically searching yours. 

You grimaced at him, rolling your eyes before you shouted, "You led me out into the woods, and the next thing I know, I'm in the hospital with a gunshot wound to the head and no memories before waking up in a stiff hospital bed! Everything I know about you and the accident was spoon-fed to me by some crappy nurse!"

Alastor's smile dropped. He wasn't even aware of the frown that crossed his features. The only giveaway was the absence of that standard achy feeling in his cheeks from holding an everlasting grin. "Darling, I-I'm not following... you mean to tell me you... don't remember your life before that mishap?" 

You looked puzzled by Alastor's uncharacteristic display of distress. His hands slipped from your wrists as he wobbled backward. "Yeah, and It's your fault! If you didn't haul me out into those woods to kill me, I would still remember who I was! And my whole life before all this bullshit!" 

You took a step forward. 

"I would remember my family, my career, if I even fucking had one! I would remember my joyful memories, my painful ones, and— and- maybe I would remember somebody who actually loved me!" You furiously glared up at him. Pointing your index finger into his chest in an accusatory fashion. 

Alastor snapped at your last words. 

Somebody who actually loved you?

It was him.

It was always him. 

Was his love for you really that immemorable?

"You truly aren't joking... you... don't remember me." Alastor felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. You were the last thing keeping it intact. All that he felt in his chest now was your blunt fingernail piercing his skin from where you jabbed him. 

"I just told you I do! What the fuck are you talking about?!" Alastor could tell your patience was wearing thin. You were probably just as confused as he was but for all the wrong reasons. 

Alastor's arms fell limp against his sides. Yet his fists were balled up so tightly that he could hear the pitter-patter of his blood spilling onto the carpet from how deeply his nails sunk into the flesh of his palm. 

You weren't ever going to believe the truth, but Alastor still needed to try.

"My dearest... that is not how we met. And my intentions were not and never will be to end your life." Alastor paused, taking in a shaky breath before continuing. 

"You're frustrated about not remembering somebody that loved you, yes? As am I..." You tilted your head in confusion. Finally pulling your finger away from his wounded chest. "What the fuck are you trying to say, Alastor?" Your voice was laced with annoyance, and your scowl was unwavering. 

"Darling, that somebody that loved you was me-and still is. It will always be me," Alastor paused, hands now finding purchase on your shoulders. "That accident should have never happened! We were scheduled to be wed at the courthouse later that evening... but... we never... made it..."

Why were his cheeks burning unbearably so? 

And why was your countenance blurring before his very eyes? 

Alastor's grip on your shoulders was unwavering, but his hands now trembled. Your expression was one of perplexity as you shook your head incredulously. "I loved you in life and now in death. I've loved you all this time, my sweet girl. Nothing will ever change that! Please, I beg of you- you must believe me!"

The definitive radio static crackle to his voice was nowhere to be found. Instead, his voice was laced with desperation. You looked disoriented through his blurry gaze as you took a weary step back. 

Alastor felt wetness trickle down his burning cheeks. 

Oh, he was... crying?

The last time he wept was when he first arrived in this grim place otherwise known as Hell. The realization that he left you on earth all alone tore him up. Alastor was inconsolable for years.

You truly knew how to put him together just to rip him apart all over again, huh? 

There is no undoing grander than love itself. 

"I-I don't believe you..." Your voice was just above a whisper as you slipped out of his grasp and approached the doorway. You turned your back on him, literally and metaphorically. 

Alastor didn't miss a beat. He rushed to you, large palm slamming flat against the wooden door. "We worked at the same radio station! Your bitch of a friend Elaine and her parents took you in after your pill-addict parents abandoned you on your eleventh birthday!"

You let out a sharp gasp as he hovered over you. Alastor couldn't read your expression, with your face practically pressing into the wooden door. All he could see was the top of your head as he pushed his chest into your rigid back. His arm was outstretched, keeping the door shut and caging you in entirely. 

"It was love at first sight for me! We went dancing for our first date. Did you truly fail to notice how effortlessly we moved along the dancefloor at Charlie's last gathering? It's because deep down, your body remembers every dance we ever shared,"

Alastor flipped you over faster than you could process. Your back was now flush against the sturdy door, his arm still caging you in. He peered down at you as his thumb and index finger from his non-dominant hand grasped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze.

"Every lingering touch..." 

He felt you tremble beneath his intense stare from how his chest now squashed against yours. Alastor's face dipped lower, invading your personal space. He brushed the tip of his nose against yours, breath fanning over your tear-stained cheeks. 

"And every kiss..."

Alastor observed you desperately as he pressed his lips against yours. He poured all his love into the shared embrace, hoping it would jumpstart your memory. But instead, you just shoved him away harshly, breaking away from his embrace. Alastor felt his world crumble around him as you wiped his kiss away with the back of your hand.

"You're fucking crazier than I thought!" With Alastor still reeling from the rejection, you took your leave. The sound of the door slamming thundered through his head. 

Alastor sunk to his knees. His hands came up to tug at his messy tufts of hair. Allowing the tears to flow freely now that he was completely alone.

Alastor did not think you were capable of hurting him until now. 

Alastor yanked at his locks furiously as his cheeks burned brightly in frustration. His knees quivered as his forehead kissed the carpet that was stained with his blood from earlier—when he unintentionally ripped up his palms. Alastor curled in on himself as he wept. 

This pain was worse than any other.

But more than anything, his love for you only burned brighter.

As did his determination to have you remember him and the pleasant life you both shared before all was lost. 

tags; @danveration @celestial-vomit @jyoongim @stygianoir @polytheatrix @mmik3yy @littlebullofblythe @cxrsedwxrlds @lillithhearts @nogiggleonlybitter @minniemumbles @chewbrry @lbcreations-blog @nonetheartist @call-me-nyxx @zombiesnips-blog @stawberrypimpsimp @wonderlandangelsposts @villxinmiixx @persephoneblck @maxlynn17 @littledolly2345 @karolinda007-blog @falling-endlessly @greekyoghurtwithberries @bladeismine @aloraaaxcrystalzx @doctorswife221b @scaramoochiie @fairyv-ice @chirikoheina @veroneverleft @tired-of-life-86 @saccharine-nectarine @c-thegingergirl @tsunaki @geminixbunny @softangxlicss @alleystore @sirens-and-moonflowers @fairyv-ice @honey132 @alastorsaries @zenix108 @michi-keinz @fokrilove @yourdoorisunlocked @willowshadenox @izakyun @fangirlbitch02 @kyana-chan @aquariaries @sincerely-lorely @maxlynn17 @ivebeenthearchersstuff

[suguru-getos]

What about yan Satosugu who take it too far? Imagine them breaking their darling to a damage they can’t repair?

ksjdfshgkkjsh this is my favorite troupe.

warnings: v v v dark! (reader die-th? reader can contemplate :3), belt-spanking, reader ran away from satosugu, mentions of throwing-up, abuse, self-harm.

"please daddy, please no no no…" little human that satoru and suguru loved oh so much, why did you have to escape? it breaks their heart. you know it just from their facial expressions. "suguru- please" you whine out, shuddering and crying with wailing screams. you are hung from the ceiling, throttling on your tippytoes, ass bruised from the way the belt welts on you. you are bleeding from the skin breaking. "daddy- please." your voice stops coming out from your throat, too traumatized and destroyed by screaming and wailing for mercy. "please- please" you are wheezing out in air, your own voice has given up. "ssh, it's okay. just 4 more." suguru chides, "didn't want to hurt you." he muses, landing the smack of the belt across your ass once more. satoru smirked, oh you look so cute, unable to scream anymore and just dancing on your feet with the impact. you feel nausea hurling your movements, throwing up because you couldn't take it anymore. though nothing comes out except water… you haven't eaten well, since after your running spree.

that stops suguru, and satoru hugs you gently. "just three more." they have decided they would finish the punishment no matter what. "sshh~ don't worry, doing so good for us. I will clean you up." if you really can't be theirs, they would make you fear them into submission. make you fear them and forcefully take their love which they're owed.

the next three hits come, and when it stops. you're too dazed with pain to even register the comfort. the flesh of your ass raw and agitated. bruised, welted, veins popped and skin breaking in blood. "ssh ssh, that's it. it's over now. you did so good. it's all over." suguru coos, demeanor changed instantly as he gathers you in his arms. immediately taking you towards the bathroom. they need to clean up their poor baby. "why do you even run away angel… do you not know we are the strongest?"

satoru sighs, he is still wrangled by the feeling of betrayal intertwined with the feeling of guilt for giving you so much pain, panic and trauma.

"that's okay princess… you wouldn't do it again right? tell suguru you wouldn't do it again." he asks you gently, ignoring the way your half-lidded eyes do not respond after the torture. oh you're passing out, satoru gnaws at his lip, watching you look lifeless.

it was expected, you passed out in front of suguru and satoru. and they had a long discussion whether or not it was right or wrong to subject you into something like this. "satoru, punishments are supposed to hurt." suguru reminds, while satoru nods, "not until she passes out, she even threw up…" he sighs, "but she didn't need to run, that's also true." suguru nodded. "I know, I can understand that… hurts me more than it hurts her." suguru chimes, and satoru nods. "I wouldn't be able to do it, I would've stopped when she started crying." he admits, only suguru could get firm enough to carry it throughout.

they are mixed with guilt and promise each other to be kinder, there is no way you would actually love them after this. that fleeting hope that fueled satoru's delusion was now making him restless.

the next day when you wake up, you were a completely different person, screaming from panic the moment the two men entered with breakfast, it was so evident how your fear made you cry out for help. it makes suguru tear up, because you do not look at satoru the way you look at suguru. you look like you want to die, like you would do anything to be granted death.

"angel… it's okay, it's all over. please-" suguru almost begs, and you feel like throwing up again. this time satoru takes the lead, walking towards you and hugging you. he was clearly not welcome. yet… your body couldn't help but relax a little under his warm embrace. it was only until a few hours later, that they found you in the bathroom, head bleeding… passed out. you had just excused yourself to shower. limping all the way… to inflict a pain like that, was terrifying. who said they could only instil pain and fear into you. you couldn't find blades, couldn't find anything… so you banged your head against the fucking wall instead… "is this how much you fucking hate me!" satoru screams out, checking your pulse.

"SUGURU!" he screams, and the latter comes out rushing. watching you life-less in satoru's hold. "is- is she?" suguru blinks, tears brimming in his eyes.

it was clear, satosugu could never hope to win. not when you clearly fear them more than your own death.

[tarotwithdanise]

THE BLESSING THAT IS COMING ON YOUR WAY IN THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

꒰⠀from left to right ; intuitively choose the pile your mind, heart and soul desire for. if you are having trouble choosing the right pile for you, here’s some tips you can do ; (1) take a deep breath (2) close your eyes (3) ask guidance from your guides (4) finally open your eyes and you can choose the right pile for you by the guidance you ask from your guides. if you are still having trouble by choosing the right pile for you let me know because i am willing to help and guide you.

1 - 2 - 3

4 - 5 - 6

reader's note: you can choose more than a pile.

PILE ONE

what a very incredibly energy coming up for this pile! i think a lot of rough things have been through with you in the past weeks or months however as i sense here, you may receive an unexpected friendship with someone or a group of people that may continues to grow further until lifetime. i am not quite sure enough if this connection is about literal "love" or it's just a pure friendship however it's gonna bring so much joy and confident about you as this person or people make you feel belong, counted and loved. this is a type of new beginning relationships for some of you however it seems like there's something off about your energy here, it seems like you cannot accept this friendship instantly because you may have this trust issues because maybe there's something terrible happened from your past but i know you'll get throughout this. you may cut off relationship with someone who hold a female energy and you may considered this individual toxic or you may receive an apology from this person. the number 9 and 4 (94) is significant for this pile.

PILE TWO

what a gentle surprise for this pile people. i sense that you maybe worrying too much about your finances but i'mma here to say that you gonna find incredibly balance about your finances in the next days. i sense that you may struggle a lot about your money however you may find yourself in the position in a month or next days in a better place, well, it may not be that better as be soft and a fresh of breath an air just like a millionaire but it's enough to cover all of your basic needs. besides, you may already decided to break off your wants to start saving up more money. my spirit guides advice you to do moves and make sure to welcome abundance in your life.

PILE THREE

this may seem like it has a little aura energy of the first pile, so, if you find it attractive, you already know what to do. i sense two things here, (1) is reunion and the (2) other one is you reap what you sow. let me explain the first energy. so, this first energy coming from this pile is about reconciliation with someone, this person is somewhat from your past that lose connection with. well, it can be an ex partner or an old friend. perhaps, i don't detect any harmful energy from this reunion but a delightful moment of joy. the second energy is about collecting and reaping what you have worked hard for in the present, this seems like a feeling of self-fulfillment of accomplishing a certain milestone that you may struggle to achieve of. what blessing you may achieve in the next days, you may find it a solution to your problem. as well that you might start to express yourself through art more in the next few days.

PILE FOUR

recognition. is there any chance that you may be trying to be a star or an influencer on social media? or maybe this was all a dream and perhaps maybe a sense of me seeing that energy haha however if it's a "yes" then you will be giving an opportunity to be appreciated by some people. you may be attracting a lot of people especially suitors but be careful because not all of them have good intentions towards you. i also see here that you may receive something special or offer from someone that will bring a smile to your face.

PILE FIVE

a huge spiritual glow is what i'm getting for this pile. there's an action here that you may be a group of spiritual groups recruiting you or if not, there's a big influence into your spiritual gift that may heal or if not, then it can help people in some way by guiding and giving advice to them. you gonna feel that power in the next upcoming days and weeks, you gonna feel that the energy feels like shifting. just a reminder to take care of your body especially your because it may hurt a lot this days or for the upcoming ones. you gonna receive a strong protection from your spirit guides and angels.

PILE SIX

someone who has unsafe and destructive intentions is about to be removed into your life. this person has been eyeing you for a long time now and they're about to be cut off totally. this person is somewhat causing you harm for making you feel insecure about your physical and mental health. it can also be that this person might deceit and lied about you in the past that may cause you loss of trust towards them. so, after this person is out of your life. a new beginning is about to start, just be willing to embrace change and strive for your own personal growth. in the next weeks, you gonna find yourself mostly your mental health in it's best and steady aiming for peacefulness.

© tarotwithdanise ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, alter, or repost my work with or without my explicit permission.

[squiddy-god]

Malleus, Azul, Lilia, jack, idia with an s/o who’s bad at self care

Malleus draconia

Mall is confused??

Why is the human not takeing care of themselves???

Only really notices after he sees your health, both mental and physical, start to decline

Asks Lilia about what to do because he’s clueless when it comes to humans.

Once he knows however he’s going straight to you and he’s goona make you do self care whether you like it or not.

It’s simple self care but it’s self care.

Pops out of nowhere and proceeds to make you drink water, no he doesn’t care that you did 5 minuets ago his s/O needs to stay hydrated.

If for whatever reason the dark fae is unable to remind you to take a break or eat or drink water he’ll have sebek bring you a water bottle

Makes you take little breaks

Watches you like a hawk because he wants to make sure that you arnt pushing yourself.

Simple but effective self care is the way to go with malleus, it’ll always be pretty simple but it’s all the love and care he puts into things like makeing you eat something or makeing you drink water.

Azul ashengrotto

Your both in the same boat here

Azul definitely over works himself and 100% isn’t very good with self care

But when he sees the signs that you also aren’t? He tries.

Noticed pretty quickly, he’s the same way and knew the signs of a lack of self care.

He makes Shure you both eat some food and also that you both drink water, maybe even take a little break.

See, you not being good at self care gets him to do alot of little things for the both of you, like in order for you to take a break he has to take a break, and if you drink water he will suddenly feel thirsty.

Sometimes it won’t actually be a “break but more of a change in location. Can be having you feel like a sad zoo animal

He’ll drag you to mostro lounge/out of his office and will sit with the fishes or other things depending on were you are

Azuls also likes to rant and listen to you rant. He’s a good listener and will listen to you vent for as long as you need while you both cuddle because he's✨✨touch starved✨✨

Azuls self care is a lot of little things that make a big difference he really does try for you and you gradually get better together

Lilia vanrouge

Noticed right away and his dad senses kicked in

You really thought he wouldn’t notice after raising 3 kids???

Hahahahhahahkekekeke

Makes you drink lots of water, go on walks, take breaks have a nice shower, the works.

He often has to remind sebek to take breaks and drink water, same with silver but for different reasons

Tries to cook for you so you have something to eat but I think that’s more self harm then care if you eat it.

But hey! It’s the thought that counts!

Scolds you lightly when you don’t self care and gives you "the dad lecture” ™

His internal clock is wired to chime of at certain times of day and make sure everyone drinks water/eats/takes a break

He’s very good about self care and he subtly ingrains it into your very soul.

Almost trains you like pavlovs dogs kekekekek

At a certain time you’ll feel the sudden urge to have a little self care, whether you like it or not.

10/10 dad Lilia comes through once again

Jack howl

Aggressively cares about you

You better self care or else

*chucks water bottle at you* stay hydrated!!!

Gives you a plant because plants are good and you need it

Makes you take breaks whether you like it or not

Good luck not self careing

He can sense if you haven’t

Seriously its like a 6th sence

Like you can be walking by and he’ll come up to you and tell you to go self care

Don’t argue with him

It’s pointless

Imagine doing face masks with Jack

Idia shroud

Alright so this is a weird on because like Azul idia is high key shit at takeing care of himself

But on the other hand he definitely worries about the people he cares about

So when he notices (almost instantly) that his light, his player 2, isn’t takeing care of themselves?

🅝🅞

So he forces you to self care, shower, drink water, eat something other then monster and Doritos (or candy)

Also has you do face masks and things he found on “howtorelax. Com”

Witch is really good because it kinda tricks him into doing self care himself

So you’ll both get something (somewhat) good to eat, put on a face mask and watch anime together

👉👈 maybe cuddle

It’s really shocking how adamant he is about self care when he himself is so bad at it for himself, but your someone he cares about, a lot, so of course he’s worried about you

Has set timers on his computers for when you should get water and take a break/cuddle him

Expect visits from his tablet and/or ortho telling you to drink water/come to Ignyhide

Idia still won’t go outside-outside but maybe a little walk around Ignyhide won’t hurt (but only if your with him)

Also walks you to class when he’s (unjustly) forced to attend a physical class

And as much as he would like to just nyoom and zoom to his next class lickaty split he makes small stops to get water with you if it isn’t to busy (a.k.a. no people)

[shiggybrainr0t]

shouto todoroki x reader

word count: 2k

warnings: reader has hair that can be tucked behind their ear, reader is bullied, forced self-harm (forced to pinch their cheeks)

a/n: this is my entry for @bloompompom ‘s “to all the fictional boys I’ve loved before” writing collab!!! the rom com I chose was ‘Ella enchanted’ because I instantly knew Shouto would fit perfectly ❤️ thank you for letting me join!! i love this but I also think it is not my best work and kind of cringey 💀 this was also inspired by many kdrama cliches djsjsks

summary: you have a quirk that makes you obey every command you are given. if only there was a prince who could come save you? or better yet, help you save yourself.

You're six years old when you develop your quirk. Your parents had taken you to the doctor, scared that you were quirkless, which in turn made you scared as well. The doctor reassured them that everything seemed fine, and your quirk should develop soon. Who would have thought that being quirkless would have been better.

It happened one day in kindergarten. Your then best friend was mad at you because you didn’t want to play dodgeball, and instead wanted to sit in the sandpit. In the heat of her anger, she screeched at you to “go eat rocks!” only to be shocked whenever you stiffly got up and did just that.

Your teacher was horrified when she was dragged over by your friend to see you, with gravel filling your mouth and tears running down your cheeks. When asked why, all you could simply muster was that you had too. You ended that day with a trip to the ER, multiple cuts inside your mouth, and a broken tooth.

Looking back, your quirk probably had already developed. You were known to be a very obedient child— it just took something extreme to clue everyone in. And it would only go downhill from there.

Your parents didn’t mean to take advantage of your quirk. Normal parental comments like “eat all your vegetables” and “go clean your room” just meant that you couldn’t talk back and had to follow the commands instantly. It became a habit almost to voice their requests as demands instead of suggestions or requests. You couldn’t fault them for it really. Especially not whenever they praised your good behavior in front of others, always so proud of their perfectly behaved child. Eventually, when you stopped talking as much and began secluding yourself more to avoid the feeling of your body and mind being forced to do something, they didn’t really seem to notice.

It was a day in your last year of high school that you met Shouto. You had always noticed him of course. Your general studies class and his hero class had been keeping the same lunch time for your entire high school career. He was princely in his stoicism. Perfect face not marred by his scar, only enhanced. He moved like an elegant dancer— every move calculated and on point. It would be no surprise to anyone that you had started harboring a crush on the fellow student. Who hadn’t had a crush on him would be the better question.

Alone at your table in the corner, you’d admire Shouto and his friends at lunch. They always looked like they were so close— the whole class did to be honest. Deku and the others were the only ones who you ever saw crack that perfect facade. A tiny smile here, a barely wrinkled brow there. It was magical to watch. The prince and his court.

You were glad he had made friends. You couldn’t say the same. Try as you might, you just couldn’t keep your quirk a secret. And once one person knew, it wasn’t long until there were many people taking advantage of it. You had gotten by relatively unscathed so far. You mostly got orders to do others homework and class chores. Many afternoons it was only you left in the classroom working away without choice, trying to finish the class chores before dark.

Your only reprieve came in the home room teacher of said prince: Aizawa. He had learned of your quirk, and it only took him one afternoon seeing you doing the chores alone for him to figure out the bullying. You refused to tattle, knowing that it would only make things worse, but he was able to release you from the power of your classmates’ demands.

You were given a strict suggestion, not an order though this time you don’t think you would have minded, to come find him anytime you needed his help. No adult had ever helped you like this before. All of your parent’s friends fawned over your quirk, and lamented about how they wished their own children had developed the same quirk. They had no idea.

It was an afternoon where the sun was shining brightly. A perfect day for something ugly to happen— especially to someone with luck like yours. There was one girl in your class who always had it out for you. You didn’t know why, you had never even talked to her. Your attempts to remain unseen unfortunately did not work this day, because for some reason the most popular boy in your class had decided he thought you were cute and voiced that to his friends.

Enraged, the girl hissed at you after class in a voice filled with venom, “He won’t think you’re cute if your face is full of bruises. Pinch yourself and don’t stop.” As your body filled with syrupy static and your hand raised to your cheek to grasp it in a hard pinch, you fled to try and find the only man who could make you stop.

By the time you made it to the hero department, your cheeks were sore and tears had filled your eyes. You didn’t even notice the prince you had always admired from the top of your tower pause as you sped by, face marred by a frown at your distraught expression.

The pro hero was obviously unamused by how you refused to tell who had made you pinch yourself. A trip to Recovery Girl however had you right as rain, and you were honestly ready for the day to just be over. The last thing you were expecting was Shouto to be standing outside the nurse’s room waiting for you. His face serious and his large arms crossed over his chest. His uniform fit him perfectly, you noticed, like it was tailored just for him.

“I’ve heard about you.”

Your mouth dropped open without your permission . His voice, deep and smooth, glided over you like water and cooled on your skin.

“You have a quirk that makes you do what people tell you to do.”

You had heard about his blunt nature, but hearing it for the first time in person shocked you. At your timid nod, his brow furrowed, and his eyes gave you a once over quickly.

“You can come get me. If you ever need help.” With this statement he pushed off the wall, and without a goodbye walked away.

You tell yourself that it’s just in Shouto’s nature to help people in need. He is in the hero course, so naturally he would follow you whenever he saw you were distress. Shouto being, well Shouto, makes it very hard to keep this in mind.

After the pinching incident, you seemed to have become a target for your classmates’ anger and frustrations. One classmate failed an English test, and to make themselves feel better they ordered you to jump on one foot until you couldn’t anymore.

Eventually left alone in the hallway, your jumping not being entertaining enough to them anymore, your saving grace came in the form of your prince. You don’t know why he was in the general studies section of the school, but you couldn’t complain— multiple students had walked by you with barely a glance. He walked over to you quickly and put a hand on your waist.

“Stop.” His voice cleared the haze in your mind making you obey, and his cool hand kept you steady as you wobbled, unstable after jumping for so long. Shouto straightened your uniform jacket with nimble fingers before walking away, leaving before you could even say thank you.

The next big incident came in the form of you being told to dump your glass of water over your head in front of everyone in the cafeteria. You quickly ran off afterwards, and your prince followed only a few feet behind.

Staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror, your shoulders dropped. The bathroom door opening suddenly made you whirl around, heart racing whenever you saw the signature two toned hair of Shouto.

You had never seen this much emotion on his face before. He looked angry as he stalked over to you. He grabbed the paper towels you were using to dry yourself, and his hand raised up close to your face. The air around you turned warm. Steam surrounded you as he evaporated the water from your hair and down to your shoulders. You were reminded of how you would sit in front of the heater after playing in the snow as a child, defrosting contently.

“Why don’t you tell the teacher who does this?” His voice was soft, a contrast to his angry demeanor.

You looked up at him, and saw how genuine he was. He cared so much about the wellbeing of a stranger. A prince indeed. You decided to take a big step, and tell him something you’ve never told anyone.

“I-I can’t.”

Your voice was meek, and his face turned stoic as he took in your answer.

“You can’t, as in someone ordered you not to.”

It wasn’t a question but you nodded nonetheless.

“You know there is a loophole for this, yes?” He said it so simply, no judgement in his voice, only the same warmth.

With a sigh, you begin to explain. “Their dad is my dad’s boss, and somehow they figured this out.”

With a hum, Shouto grabbed a strand of your hair between his nimble fingers. He twirled it around before tucking it behind your ear and smiling. It was like looking at the sun.

“I think I can help.”

He held your hand as you both walked back to the cafeteria. It was his fire side, and the warmth radiated up your arm and into your heart. Before you both entered the cafeteria, he spoke.

“I know you can’t verbally tell me who is responsible for this, but whenever I point them out I want you to squeeze my hand. I already have some idea.”

To show him you understood, you gave his hand a shy squeeze. This made him send a small smile your way, and you could feel the breath physically leave your lungs.

Shouto confidently walks you to the right table, leaving a quiet room after him. Everyone seemed shocked to see you both hand in hand, except his friends. Glancing over quickly you could see that Deku and Ochaco had large grins on their faces, while Iida was nodding in what you could only interpret as aggressive approval.

Your classmates stared at the both of you in trepidation as you and Shouto came to a stop in front of their table. Without saying anything, Shouto quickly pointed at the girl who had always had it out for you, and made sure the rest of the class began to feel the same way. Surprised he knew so fast, you squeezed his hand, heart beating furiously.

“I see.” Was all he said, and you watched as the girl’s face turned pale in the glory of his ire.

The next few days seemed to happen in a blur. Shouto had taken you straight to Aizawa to tell him who your tormentor was, as well as the concerns that held you back from using the loophole of your quirk sooner. The next day, the girl and her family met you in Nezu’s office to apologize.

They bowed to you, and the father told you that he was relocating himself and his family to South Korea, so there would be no worry of any retaliation against your father. Your father might even get a promotion. You noticed how pale he seemed as he looked at the tall figure looming behind you, icy hot eyes staring the man down.

Later that day, you stood shyly in front of a stoic Shouto, trying to put into words how grateful you were.

“That wasn’t the first time I had noticed you, you know.” He spoke first.

“What?”

“I’ve um. I’ve always thought you were really pretty.”

Shouto looked away from you suddenly, bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his head. A soft pink highlighted the tips of his ears.

“I’ve always thought you were really handsome as well.”

Shouto’s head snapped back towards you in surprise. Before he speaks, his eyes focused over your shoulder and his expression crumpled. You looked behind you, shocked to see Deku, Ochaco, and Iida peeking out from behind the corner. Deku was exaggerating his expressions and mouthing “ask them out!” They spot you looking and quickly popped back behind the wall.

You laugh brightly, and find your confidence.

“Will you go out with me, Shouto?”

[quack-quack-snacks]

Watch Me.

My Navigation and Masterlist

My Sweet Home Masterlist

My Cha Hyun-su Masterlist

Pairing(s): Cha Hyun-su x Fem!Reader Summary: Your high school life was as normal as anyone else's... until Kim Do-hun arrived. He took you away from your best friend, Cha Hyun-su, until an apocalypse happened and he came to get you back. Warnings: Bullying (toward Hyun-su), mentally abusive behavior, implied physical abuse (One written slap directed towards reader), blackmailing, unhealthy relationship, abusive relationship, sadism and dacryphilia but not in a sexual way, Kim Do-hun being the queen of gaslight gatekeep girlboss, lots of crying, reader feeling helpless, monster!Hyun-su, talk of past suicidal ideation and self-harm, male masturbation, sexual fantasy, and fingering. Word Count: 14,310 Extra Notes: I FINALLY FINISHED IT! YES! The smut part I'm not the most proud of BUT I FINISHED IT ARE YOU PROUD OF ME?! Okay... enjoy :)

“I guess you don’t know why I’m doing this to you,” 

Kim Do-hun sighed out with a condescending tilt of his head. His hand readjusted his grip on the wooden stick he used to beat Hyun-su only minutes ago. “I promise, I have a good reason.” 

“You scum,” Hyun-su cursed under his breath as he glared at him. He was lying on the floor, blood flowing from the cut on his cheek and bruises scattering themselves across his body. His, once white, shirt was now splattered in red and muddied from the dust and dirt collected on the floor. 

“You look pretty angry. I guess you weren’t beaten enough.”

“Do-hun, stop, please!” You pleaded from your place on the side. Tears you were unable to hide streamed down your cheeks as two of your ‘friends’ held you back from rushing forward and stopping him from continuing with the beating toward the boy who held your heart. 

You could faintly hear Hyun-su whispering for you to stay out of it, but you focused your attention on the boy standing above him. He lazily tilted his head over to look at you and his lips quirked up into a smirk. “Yeah? And what’ll you give me if I do?” 

“Anything. What do you want? You already have money and popularity and loyalty from all the fucking asshats that surround you, what more do you want?” You seethed out. 

Your breath caught in your throat when he approached you. He raised a hand and you flinched when his knuckles skimmed over your cheek. “I want you,” he said simply with a grin. 

“What?” You whispered, praying he wasn’t asking what you thought he was asking.

“I want you to be my girlfriend,” he took a step forward and you stumbled back, feeling betrayed but not surprised when your ‘friends’ instantly let go of your arms when they saw what he was doing. “I want to have you by my side every day while I walk down the halls of the school. I want to introduce you to my dad and arrange for us to get married. I want you to be mine.”

Your back was pressed against the window of the classroom as he cornered you, your eyes wide with surprise and fear. You didn’t want to marry this asshole, you didn’t want to be within 30 feet of him. 

But you desperately wanted him to stop hurting the boy you loved. 

“Hell no. She’s not getting with a guy like you,” Hyun-su protested, trying to get up from his position on the floor but failing. He whimpered your name through a pained gasp and started talking directly to you. “I won’t let you do this. Stay out of this, okay?” 

The two of you held eye contact for a bit, arguing nonverbally about what you would do before you sighed sadly and looked away. 

“No, Do-hun. I won’t be your girlfriend,” you spoke quietly, not looking him in the eyes. He sighed airily before turning back to where his victim resided on the ground. 

He clicked his tongue, almost teasingly. Shooting you one last glance, he asked, “Are you sure?” You didn’t respond or even look at him. “Okay, your call,” he sighed before turning to face a classmate of yours who was sitting at a desk. “Hey, four eyes.”

Park Ju-yeong looked away from Do-hun’s direction, hoping he wasn’t talking to him but luck wasn’t on his side. 

“You,” Do-hun tried again and the boy turned to look at him warily. “Yeah… It’s your turn now.”

Ju-yeong watched as he placed the wooden stick on his desk with a soft clacking sound. “But he looks…” he stuttered out, glancing at Hyun-su and seeing the state he was in. 

“So?” Do-hun taunted. “Were you close with him or what?” The boy looked down, silently confirming the statement. The bully scoffed. “All these guys used to be friends with him too.”

Everyone looked away, either in shame or embarrassment from being called out on it. You quietly seethed as you watched the scene play out in front of you. 

“Don’t do it if you don’t want to,” he offered him. “I’m not forcing you. Oh, by the way,” he started as he walked to stand behind his chair, leaning down so he was speaking right next to his ear. “Who were your friends again?”

You scoffed. 

‘Not forcing you’ my ass. 

Even though you expected it, your heart still started racing when you saw Ju-yeong close his fingers around the stick and stand up, moving to stand in front of Hyun-su. 

“No,” you whispered and gradually got louder with your protests. “No, no. No! Stop!” You rushed forward to stand in the way but two pairs of hands wrapped around your arms to pull you back. You were practically completely immobilized and forced to watch everything in front of you.

Do-hun scoffed out a laugh as he glanced at you before turning back to Ju-yeong. With his hands placed in his pockets, he nodded back to him. “Keep going.”

You could see how Ju-yeong hesitantly looked over at you and your pleading face before facing forward again and raising the stick over his head. You let out a sob when he whispered a small apology and brought the stick down upon your best friend. No matter how many times you pleaded and begged for him to stop, Do-hun would always tell him to keep going. It wasn’t until you fell to your knees sobbing that you finally said the words he really wanted to hear, but your best friend dreaded. 

“I’ll do it,” you sobbed out, barely coherent through your staggering breaths. 

Do-hun raised a hand, signaling Ju-yeong to stop what he was doing. Hyun-su wheezed, trying to say something, to protest what he knew you were planning, but unable to because of the pain coursing through his ribs. 

“What was that, Doll?” Do-hun asked as he took a few steps toward you and crouched down in front of your form. You had curled in on yourself with a hand clutching the fabric of your chest. The boys holding you back from interfering let you go when Do-hun reached forward to grab your chin. The gentleness with which he did so contrasted his actions toward Hyun-su so much it scared you. “Why don’t you repeat that?”

You stared at him as you tried to get your words out without any sobs or cries interrupting you. “I-” you let out a shaky breath. “I’ll do it. I’ll be your girlfriend. Just st-stop hurting him. Please.”

His smirk grew as he listened to your begs and how you seemed so helpless in front of him. So desperate for your friend to be released from this agonizing torture. 

“So pretty when she cries, isn’t she Cha Hyun-su?” He jeered while you closed your eyes and tried not to flinch away from his hand caressing your cheek. He wiped away the tears that continued to fall and cooed at your soft whimpers. 

“N-no… sto-” Hyun-su tried but it abruptly was interrupted by him falling into a coughing fit. 

“Aw, you don’t think she’s pretty when she cries? That’s just not nice. Maybe you need another beating to appreciate her.”

Your eyes widened as you heard him say that and he stood up to face Hyun-su again. “No!” You screamed, scrambling to stand up and grab onto his sleeve hopelessly. “You said you wouldn’t hurt him, please.”

He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side and you froze. You couldn’t move; couldn’t breathe; couldn’t think. All you could do was stand stiffly in his embrace as he pretended to think. 

“Alright. I’ll make you a deal,” he started and you held your breath.

Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy. Why would it be? He was a bully after all.

“I won’t hurt him anymore, as long as you follow everything I say.”

Your exhale was shaky when you released it, your heart thumping rapidly against your chest and your mind screaming at you that this was a bad idea. Ignoring the way your body - and Hyun-su - protested, you nodded. “Okay. Okay, I’ll do whatever you say. Just don’t hurt him.”

He smiled at you, his eyes gleaming with a familiar look that brought you back to all the first interactions you had with him. 

You were running down the halls of the school, cursing yourself for not waking up to your alarm. You would definitely be marked as tardy, if not absent. 

Disheveled and panting from exertion, you held your Math and History textbook in your hand with your backpack hanging on one shoulder. You were trying to force the books into your bag but with the way you were walking and not thinking clearly, it was hopeless. 

Your tie wasn’t even correctly done. 

Turning the corner, you looked up just in time for your face to slam into someone’s chest. The both of you got knocked down to the ground with your books falling from your hands. Letting out a gasp, you immediately scrambled to bow your head and apologize. 

“I’m so sorry! I wasn’t looking and I’m late for class and I- I’m so sorry,” you rambled. Looking up, you saw a boy you’d never seen at the school before. Your eyes lit up in realization before you practically crumpled in on yourself. “Oh, and you’re the new kid too, this is such a terrible first impression!” You whined and put your head in your hands. 

When he let out a small laugh, you looked up. He was sitting more upright now while looking at you. His head tilted and his eyes filled with a look that you couldn’t quite place. “It’s alright, Doll.”

You frowned at the nickname but brushed it off. “Are you hurt?” You asked frantically while simultaneously shoving your books into your bag and helping him gather his own things. You stood up, holding his backpack in one hand while yours remained on the ground. With your other hand, you reached down and offered it to him. He looked at your hand for a while before taking it in his. 

“No, I’m not hurt.” 

“Well, I am so sorry but I am still late for class, so I’ll see you around, newbie. Let me know if you need help with a tour of the school or anything like that!” You waved him off after handing him his backpack and picking up your own. 

You were unaware of how he watched you walk away until you were out of sight. 

A few hours later, it was lunchtime and you were outside with a few of your friends playing soccer. It was your favorite thing about lunchtime except for the times when you would eat with your best friend, Hyun-su. During the times when the two of you weren’t eating together, he would often watch you on the sidelines as you played soccer or occasionally be with another friend.

Today seemed to be one of the latter days as you played soccer. You couldn’t see him anywhere on the sidelines, but you did see his backpack. It wasn’t too uncommon for him not to be there so you just decided to let it be and continue focusing on the game. 

You had the ball but you had nowhere that could be a good shot and one member of the opposing team was persistent on messing up any dribbling you tried to do. Your only choice was to pass it, and you did. You passed it to Seo-joon. The boy had only started playing with your group about a week ago but he was a pretty good kicker. 

The only thing he needed to work on was his aim. 

The ball went flying out of the playing field and crashed into the vending machine where two familiar boys were. 

“Seo-joon!” You exclaimed just as you heard a voice call out.

“Be careful, watch out!” Hyun-su yelled to Seo-joon as he ran to retrieve the ball. 

“Oh, sorry! Are you okay?” He asked but didn’t wait for a response as he passed the ball and the game continued. You rolled your eyes and jogged over to the two boys. You realized the other boy, who had fallen backward from the shock of the ball flying toward him, was the new kid, Kim Do-hun. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, are you two alright?” You asked, placing your hands on your knees while you panted from the run over. “Seo-joon might have a really powerful kick but he can’t aim all too well,” you joked. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Hyun-su confirmed before turning to where Do-hun was sitting on the floor after falling back in shock. “Are you okay?” He reached out his hand, offering him a way of getting up but it ended up not getting taken. 

Not paying Hyun-su any mind as he stood, Do-hun turned to you. “I’m fine. Thank you.”

You nervously glanced over at Hyun-su before looking back at the boy and shooting him your most charming - yet still slightly awkward - smile. “Perfect. Well, I’m going to go back and continue playing, but I’ll try to keep you guys from getting any more balls being shot in your direction!” You reassured playfully before turning and placing a hand on Hyun-su’s arm. “I’ll see you after school, yeah?”

He shot you a grin and nodded enthusiastically. You returned it before turning around and running back to the game. Hyun-su missed the way Do-hun glared at the place where your hand touched his arm, instead watching as you were passed the ball and started dribbling toward the goal. 

You could see it now. The look he gave you.

It was obsession. 

He was obsessed with you; with getting you on his side, and if he had to use force or the use of others’ pain to get that then he would. No hesitation. 

“Doll,” you heard and returned from your daze when fingers snapped in your face. 

“Hm?” You looked away from where you had zoned out looking at your best friend and up to see the brown, haunting eyes of Do-hun in front of you. He let out a laugh.

“Hm?” He mocked and you bit your tongue to stop from making any remarks. “I’m taking you home,” he told you. There was no room for argument in his voice and you noticed everyone who had been in the room except for Hyun-su, Do-hun, and yourself were all gone. Hyun-su had moved from lying on the floor to leaning against the cubbies on the wall behind him. He wheezed every time he tried to open his mouth and all you could do was watch helplessly as you came to terms with what exactly you were agreeing to.

But still, even with the feeling of Do-hun’s hand around your waist and his fingers on your jaw that guided you to look back into his eyes, you couldn’t bring yourself to regret it. 

“I’m taking you home,” he repeated more sternly. You could tell he was getting annoyed but you couldn’t help yourself from asking your next question. 

“Can I keep him as my friend?” You hated that you had to ask for that simple action. You were practically giving up any control you had over your social life and that was heartbreaking.

But as long as it kept Hyun-su safe…

Do-hun scoffed and his hand tightened uncomfortably around your waist. Your blood ran cold as you felt his fingers digging into your side, knowing how much power he had at the tips of those appendages and how hopeless you were against them. 

You weren’t even talking about it in a physical aspect. No, you were talking about the power in society he held. It wasn’t a secret how he was the son of a very successful and important businessman, especially with how much he boasted about it. He could ruin anyone’s life at the drop of a hat and they wouldn’t know what hit them. 

You were mostly worried about Hyun-su and his family. You were well aware of his dad’s boss being Do-hun’s father and how he used that to threaten him on a daily basis. It scared you how out of your depth you were in this battle you waged against him. 

And like striking down the leader of your army, he dug the blade through your heart with the next words. 

“You’re not allowed to even look at him ever again.”

You let out a scream as you thrashed around. The smell of cigarettes burned your nose as it filled the air around you. Your hands fought to pull against the grip holding you by your hair and forcing you to face your worst nightmare. 

You cringed at the hot breath that blew against your ear as he spoke. “This is your fault. I wouldn’t have to do this if you’d just followed what you were told and stayed away from him,” Do-hun condescendingly told you. He made it sound like he was sorry and remorseful at having to do this but you knew he was loving every minute. 

“Just stop! Stop it! Please!” You sobbed, your hands going weak as they limply held the wrist of his hand holding your hair. The pained groans and gasps coming from Hyun-su on the ground in front of you echoed in your head relentlessly.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

“Please let him go. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you pleaded helplessly but he just clicked his tongue in disappointment.

“I’m sorry too,” he lied. “But the only way you’ll learn is if you see that there are consequences to your actions,” he explained before forcing you to walk forward and fall to your knees in front of Hyun-su. You let out a small whine as the grip he had on your scalp tightened and he leaned in again. “These are the consequences. So take a good, long look and remember it every time you think about going back on your word.”

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

It’s your fault.

More tears fell as you did as told and took a long look over your wounded friend. There was blood splattered across his white-uniformed shirt as well as the grey undershirt he wore. Blood collected around his mouth from where he had spat it out along with the cut on his bruised lips. On his left cheek was the laceration from last time that had reopened and was sending streaks of blood down his face. His nose had a small gash along the bridge and both eyes, one still bruised from the last time he was beaten up in the classroom and the other luckily unharmed, were opened wide as he stared back at you. 

Hyun-su reached out a bloodied hand to your cheek to instinctively wipe away the tears that had fallen there but you were harshly pulled away just before his fingers could skim your skin. 

His eyes shot back up to Do-hun as he looked bored by the interaction. “Let her go,” he demanded in a quiet voice. 

“I will, if you jump off,” Do-hun bargained and the look Hyun-su sent over to the edge of the roof sent you into a panic. 

“No! No Hyun-su, don’t you dare!”

“Oh, shut up, Doll,” Do-hun rolled his eyes before he forced you to look at him again. “Do you want him to get another beating? Huh?” He questioned, mockingly. “I thought I told you not to talk to him, yeah?” At your silence, he degradingly tapped his knuckles against your temple. “Is there a brain in there that can answer or are you just an empty shell?”

“No. No, I don’t want him to get another beating,” you rushed out, trying not to make any remarks about the belittling way he spoke to you. 

Hyun-su seemed much braver than you. “Don’t speak to her like that.”

Do-hun scoffed and pushed you backward so you crashed into the chest of another boy in the group. His arms wrapped around your chest and stopped you from moving while Do-hun crouched down in front of Hyun-su and lightly flicked his forehead. “I’ll talk to her however I want. Don’t forget, she’s my girlfriend now,” he laughed under his breath. “And do you know how it feels to figure out my girlfriend has been cheating on me? Texting you, talking about how you left your clothes at her house? It breaks my heart,” he said with a sarcastically sad tone.  

Hyun-su sent you a glance and you begged him with your eyes not to say anything. Whether he denied or confirmed the situation, it would only make things worse for the both of you. He just looked down and away from you, avoiding Do-hun’s irritatingly patronizing gaze as well. 

“But don’t worry. I’ll make sure you get your clothes back soon enough, though I can’t guarantee what their quality will be like,” he joked and all the other boys on the roof laughed along with him. With that, he stood up and walked back over to you. The boy holding you let you go but his arms were immediately replaced with Do-hun’s as he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you tightly to his side. Tugging you toward the entrance of the roof, his posse of sheep following close behind, he sent a dismissive wave over his shoulder to Hyun-su. “Better hope your bestie doesn’t misbehave anytime soon, or else this will happen again. Although, maybe you’re into that.”

You didn’t dare turn around to shoot him a glance goodbye, but you could feel his eyes on the back of your head until the door closed behind you and you were left alone with Do-hun and his friends once again. 

7:30. 30 minutes before school started. 

You walked down the stairs, heading for the back exit of the school where the outdoor staircases were - yours and Hyun-su’s designated spot to meet up in the mornings. It was a very dark day. Deep gray clouds crowded out any blue in the sky and revealed only little bits of the sun’s rays through the diminished light that shone through them. 

Although it hadn’t started raining just yet, you brought a raincoat and change of clothes just in case you got caught in it when it inevitably did. 

Opening the door to the back of the school, you immediately saw Hyun-su sitting on the steps with a white square gift box in his lap, a light blue ribbon wrapping around it beautifully. His foot was tapping along to a beat from the music playing on his phone, the headphones stuffed into his ears and playing loud enough that you could hear it as you approached. It was a habit you always tried to make him break, concerned for his hearing, but he never did. 

When he saw you walking toward him, his eyes lit up and a smile grew on his face. He stood up to greet you before you both sat down again and started talking. 

“This is for you,” he told you, placing the white box on your lap excitedly. 

“Hyun-su,” you complained lightly. “I didn’t get you anything!”

He brushed you off with a smile. “There’s no need. Just open it.”

You did and when you saw the contents inside, you laughed. “What is this?” You asked, picking up the patchwork teddy bear. It wasn’t the most well-done stuffed animal but it reminded you of something specific that you couldn’t put your finger on. 

His smile turned a bit bashful and maybe nervous as he scratched the back of his neck. “It’s… it’s your baby blanket,” he told you and you gasped. “I had your sister help me with it. I know that it meant a lot to you and how it wasn’t in the greatest condition, so I came up with the idea,” he explained in a rush, worried over how quiet you were as you stared at the stuffed bear. “So… Do you like it?” 

You couldn’t contain the smile anymore as you turned to face him. As calmly as you could, you placed the stuffed animal back into the white box and set it to the side before throwing your arms around him in a tight embrace. “Do I like it? How could I not like it? I love it!” You pulled back to hold him by his shoulders and stared deeply into his eyes. “This is the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Thank you, Hyun-su.”

He smiled at you before bringing you in for another hug. The two of you stayed like that for a minute until you felt a cold wet plop on your head. Pulling away and looking up, you received another raindrop on your forehead. 

“Shit! It’s raining!” You quickly turned and put the white lid back on the box before reaching to grab your bag. You were quickly stopped when Hyun-su grabbed your arm and pulled you back. Looking back at him, you let out a nervous laugh at the mischievous look in his eyes. “Hyun-su… no.”

“Hyun-su, yes,” he joked before grabbing both your hands and tugging you farther away from your bag. He laughed as you yelped from the light sprinkle turning into a full-on downpour and your clothes immediately getting soaked to the bone. You gaped at him while he spun you around.

“You’re such an idiot,” you said, trying to keep your tone serious but eventually failing as you burst out laughing. “Oh my god, you’re so lucky I brought a change of clothes today!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get those wet too,” he promised with a cheeky smile.

You raised your eyebrows playfully. “Wow, Hyun-su, I didn’t know you were so dirty-minded. And in public no less!”

“Wha-?” It took a second for him to understand what you were saying but when he did he pushed your face away from him with his hand. “Oh my god, if there’s anyone here who’s dirty-minded, it’s you.”

You laughed and it seemed like you couldn’t stop until the bell rang with how much the two of you were joking with each other. In the end, at least your bear was safe and dry.

The same couldn’t be said about the two of you.

You held the white box in your hands as you walked down the hall. The lid was slightly brown with water damage and was fraying in some areas but you couldn’t help the fuzzy feeling you felt when you looked at it. 

Do-hun walked beside you. As a little ‘reward’ for being on ‘good behavior’ as well as a graduation gift of sorts, he was allowing you to give Hyun-su his stuff back, as long as he stayed with you the entire time. 

The two of you walked toward the back of the school to Hyun-su and your spot. It had been so long since the two of you met here and you couldn’t help the emotion building behind your eyes and stinging your nose. Do-hun droned on and on about something but you weren’t listening to a word he said as you focused on not bursting into tears. Instead, you focused on keeping the letter pressed to the bottom of the box. You kept it a secret from Do-hun and you just prayed, for both yours and Hyun-su’s sake, he wouldn’t see it. 

Opening the door, you weren’t surprised to see Hyun-su sitting on the steps. The way his form seemed so much sadder and lifeless than he had all those months ago when the two of you danced in the rain had your heart clenching painfully. 

His head lifted as he heard your footsteps approaching and you nearly sobbed at the bandages covering his face. He scrambled to his feet, eyes mostly set on you but flicking over to Do-hun every once in a while. 

You couldn’t handle speaking, so all you did was hold out the tattered white box to him. You saw his eyes light up in recognition of it but he didn’t say anything. His hands reached out and grazed yours as he grabbed it. The way his eyes locked onto you when he did made you know he felt the paper. It wasn’t anything too special, just a simple note asking him to keep in touch with your new phone number and the home address you knew Do-hun and you would be moving to once you graduated. It meant a lot for you to have him in your life, though, and you wanted him to know that. 

“Wow, Doll. After all this time, you don’t even want to say your final goodbye to your ex-bestie?” Do-hun taunted, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you away from the boy in front of you and into his chest instead. “Seems like you don’t care about him anymore.”

You cleared your throat and looked down, your arms retracting from where they’d stretched in front of you to give the box. “Let’s just go,” you told him quietly. Luckily, he obliged and turned to walk away with you glancing one more time at the boy you loved. 

You stood outside of the church, debating back and forth with yourself on whether you should go inside or not. 

It hadn’t been long since you saw Hyun-su, only having graduated a few months ago, but it had been a long time since you had interacted with him. You were still with Do-hun. His father arranged for the two of you to get married and your parents did nothing to help. They were persuaded with money and the promise of a good life all in exchange for the freedom of yours. The engagement ring weighed heavily with betrayal and manipulation at the bottom of your black dress’s pocket. 

Today had been the first day in weeks that you hadn’t been within five feet of Do-hun, and it was all for the same reason - the same person - you gave yourself to him in the first place. 

Cha Hyun-su. 

Even after everything, after every attempt to destroy your feelings Do-hun tried, you still loved the boy with all of your heart. 

And now he probably needed you more than ever. 

Your hand rested on the doorknob as you hyped yourself up to open it when you suddenly heard yelling. It was muffled and you couldn’t understand it but it slowly got closer and closer until Hyun-su came rushing through the door, a few men on either side of him dragging him out. You could hear the shouts now and they were all coming from him. Each was about how his parents abandoned him, leaving him to live alone in the world. 

The shouts came to a stop when his eyes locked on you, your black knee-length dress and black flats showing you dressed for the occasion while he stood disheveled in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants. His hair was disheveled and most likely tangled, grown out from the lack of attention he’d been giving himself since the bullying started.  

You tried to help him behind the backs of everyone else. You mainly left little snacks or water bottles on his desk before class when you knew he hadn’t eaten, but occasionally you provided first aid kits for him on the occasion you ‘misbehaved’ and he paid the price for it. You never knew if he took them but you continued to do it, every day, without fail. 

You watched as Hyun-su shook off the arms of the people holding him and they walked back inside. You had to hold yourself back and bite your tongue at the insults they called him on their way. It was only after the door clicked and it was quiet outside the church that you spoke. 

“Hi.”

You said it so softly you weren’t sure he heard it, but then he replied. “H-hi. What… what are you doing here?” He looked away from you as he asked it, shoving a hand in his pocket while the other came up to scratch the back of his neck. You almost smiled at the nervous habit he seemed to have kept. 

“I’m here for you,” you explained, taking a hesitant step toward him and inwardly celebrating when he didn’t move away. You took more steps forward until you were right in front of him, only a foot of distance between the two of you. You closed the distance as you wrapped your arms around his middle and pulled him into you. It was gentle at first since you were hesitant whether or not he would push you away, but your hold tightened when he returned the embrace. He buried his face into your neck as you rubbed his back comfortingly and you could feel the tears falling onto your skin. He sobbed into your shoulder all while you just held him. It was the first time in months you had held each other like this and it was a relief for you to feel him like this one more time. “I’m so sorry, Hyun-su,” you whispered to him, feeling the tears welling up in your eyes too but desperately trying to blink them back for his sake. He needed you to be the strong one right now, you couldn’t cry. 

“It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault,” he emphasized with a hoarse voice, bringing you closer. You let the first tear fall. It was such a relief to hear him say that when all you’d heard from everyone, specifically Do-hun, was how it was your fault. How you were the one who ruined Hyun-su’s life. 

But you still blamed yourself.

“But I could have done something! I didn’t do anything and you paid the price for it all! I should have done mo-” 

Hyun-su pulled away from you and in an instant pressed his lips against yours. The words left your mind as you immediately melted into it. He tasted like the salt from his tears but you didn’t care. All that mattered at that moment was that he was there. He was kissing you and he was there. You didn’t think you deserved it but he was there. 

He pulled away slowly, resting his forehead against yours and breathing heavily. “Never blame yourself for what happened,” he demanded. His lips skimmed yours with each word and you felt yourself longing for the feel of them again. “You will never be at fault for what happened.”

Instead of saying anything back, you just pulled him back in for another quick kiss. The two of you might have been abandoned by your families but at the very least, you had each other. 

Or, you did until you felt arms wrap around you from behind and yank you away from him. Your eyes grew wide as you recognized the familiar expensive cologne of your betrothed. You stiffened under his arms as they tightened painfully around you and Do-hun smiled at Hyun-su. 

“Long time no see, Cha Hyun-su. Why are you kissing my fiance?” He asked, his grin still as condescending as it was in high school. Hyun-su looked shocked by the news, looking at you with anger boiling inside him but it fizzled out instantly as he saw you standing petrified in fear. “I don’t care. It’s not like you’ll ever see her again,” Do-hun cut him off right as he opened his mouth, walking backward and dragging you along with him. “Well, maybe you will, we might even send you a wedding invite!” He yelled as he forced you into the passenger seat of his sleek black, definitely more expensive than any vehicle Hyun-su had ever sat in, car. 

Another wave of fresh tears fell down his face while he helplessly watched you stare hopelessly out the window as the car started driving down the road and out of his life. 

August 13th. That was the day the world officially ended. 

It started off as a normal day for you. You stayed in bed for the first few hours of the morning, only getting up when your stomach felt like it would eat itself. Then, you sat on the chair on the back porch of your house, watching the butterflies fly around your gorgeous flowers and petting the stray cat that would always find its way into your yard. You’d come to name it Dong-ee, meaning sunrise. Do-hun always scolded you when he saw you with the animal, talking about what diseases it could have, but you’d stopped responding to his words months ago. 

He tried threatening you every day but it never worked. 

After your sister died and he found out about - and stopped - the letters you sent to Hyun-su, you had nothing left to lose. 

In the massive house you lived in, with servants cleaning everywhere and greeting you each time you passed by and your ‘husband’ never far, you’d never felt more alone. 

It started with a single nosebleed. One of the servants started bleeding profusely out of their nose and onto the crystal blue couch she’d been vacuuming. You told her it was fine, rushing her off before your husband found out and immediately spraying some stain remover onto it. You know he would have scolded her at best - which was never a fun experience with the way he would degrade someone until they felt like dirt beneath the heel of his perfectly shined black shoe, or fired her at worst - which was a big way to get someone out of a job for life. He often blacklisted the employees he fired. 

The nosebleeds seemed to increase, not only in the one girl but in the other servants as well. It wasn’t until one of them turned into a tall monster with sharp claws and extended canines, trying to kill Do-hun when they saw him, that you knew the world would never be the same. 

It took time, but Do-hun and his guards - which in reality were actually just his guards following his every word while Do-hun sat in the background, just like in high school - were able to force the monster out of the house. After that, Do-hun decided what he thought was best and decided to do the worst thing you could have imagined. 

He forced everyone out. Everyone who worked there and resided in the large house, they were forced out of the house and left to die in the streets roaming with monsters. You screamed and struggled as you watched them all be shoved out the doors which were barricaded soon after with thick wooden planks.

What he did next though, was what made you seriously fear the man called your husband and fear for your life. 

He brought out a gun you didn’t know he even owned and shot silver bullets into the foreheads of all his most trusted guards. The same guards who just sent the servants to their death sentence as they forced them out of the house. 

The air filled with the foul stench of blood and you nearly threw up. You backed away as he approached, getting closer and closer to you with the gun still in his hand. His finger may not have been on the trigger but it was terrifying nonetheless. 

Eventually, you were backed against a wall with nowhere to escape. Do-hun cornered you against it, playfully and gently tapping the muzzle of the gun against your forehead. 

“I’ve been waiting to do that for a while,” he confessed, smiling down at you. “Now you can be the perfect housewife you were supposed to be. It’s all worked out.”

You shuddered, flinching away as he leaned in to kiss your forehead. The one thing you were thankful for was the fact that Do-hun accepted consent when it came to anything sexual. You knew he would never do anything to hurt you like that, but he wasn’t above physically hurting you if you didn’t do as he said. 

“Now, why don’t you clean up that mess over there,” he pointed to the dead bodies near the front door and you followed his finger slowly. “And I’ll watch from the couch. If you do good, I’ll consider making you some dinner.”

The world was ending. 

And you were stuck with your psychotic murderer of a forced-marriage-provided husband. 

You were fucked. 

It had been a few weeks since the apocalypse started. You often heard the sounds of roaming creatures as they passed by and shuddered at the thought. Despite everything, you were at least glad to be able to stay in a relatively safe place when everything went to hell. 

Do-hun didn’t make life easy for you, though. You could feel him hovering over you every second. Now that he didn’t have work and there was nobody around to stop him, he didn’t hesitate to be by your side the entire time and give you no privacy. 

During everything, you couldn’t stop thinking about Hyun-su. You wondered if he was alright; if he was a monster or not; if he could possibly be one of those special infectees; if you would ever see him again. 

You found your answer sooner than you expected. 

You had no idea how much time had passed since everything started. At first, you tried counting the days, but you lost track after 80. 

Now, after what you assumed must have been more than half a year within this hellhole, you sat on the couch nearest to the window. Though you couldn’t see through it anymore with the way Do-hun had boarded it up, using the curtains and whatever furniture he could find, you could imagine the way the birds and butterflies fluttered around your rose bushes and sunflowers as they often did when you would watch them through the glass. On days like those, you would often be having a glass of your favorite tea along with a new book of your favorite genre.

You’d since had to resort to a sliver of water from your designated drinking water supply and a book you’d already read several times over. 

Do-hun had gotten especially protective and obsessive over you since the start of this hell. He never let you out of his sight, even more so now than before when he could entrust you into the hands of his guards. He would scream at you for hours at a time when you would ignore him. He would force-feed you your rations on the days you felt you couldn’t do anything but sit in despair. It was a strange, aggressive, display of his ‘affection’ for you. 

You stopped ignoring him as often, part of the reason being he would scream at you for hours at a time when you did, just to get a reaction, but also because you just felt so isolated and alone. He was the only source of any interaction you had, human or otherwise; and while all of that was entirely his fault, you couldn’t really hope for a different situation when you knew it would never happen. Sometimes, when things got bad with him, you envied the servants who were forced out.

On other days, when things were even worse, you envied the guards you had to clean up afterwards. 

You closed your book with a sigh when you read the same sentence over again for the twentieth time. Do-hun looked up from his own book with an annoyed glare before rolling his eyes and focusing on the pages again. Sighing, you stood up and gently placed your book in your spot before walking away. 

“Where the hell are you going?” Do-hun demanded and stood up abruptly. His book limply fell to the floor and he stormed closer to you. On instinct, you took a step back before steeling your nerves and looking him dead in the eye. 

“Away from you.”

He huffed angrily and grabbed ahold of your wrist and started walking back towards the couch. “No, you’re not. You’ll stay right here where I can see you.”

You roughly yanked your arm away from his grip and pulled away. “No. I won’t.”

Do-hun slowly turned around to look at you, his eyebrows raised slightly in surprise. This was the first time in a long time you’d truly fought against and denied a direct order from him. “What did you say?” He took a step toward you and your breath caught in your throat. 

“I… I-I said,” you stuttered, cursing yourself for the lack of control over your shaking hands. 

He widened his eyes, imitating your fearful expression. “Y-y-y-you s-said?” He mocked over exaggeratedly and you opened your mouth again to reply when a large shadow blocked the limited light coming through the fabric covering the windows. It got closer and closer, larger shadows casting over the floor behind Do-hun as it did. Your arm raised to point at the approaching creature when suddenly a sharp pain exploded across your cheek. Your head snapped to the side painfully and you brought a palm up to cover the reddening area where Do-hun’s hand had slapped you. Although the pain shocked you, you weren’t surprised by his actions. Nor were you surprised by the sadistic smile that covered his lips. “Got no words, Doll? You were so confident just a second ago, where’d that attitude go?” 

Despite his taunting words, your attention was solely focused on the silhouette of a large wing rising into the air behind the curtains of the window. Just as you saw it come swinging down, you ducked down and covered your head with your arms. 

Do-hun didn’t see the image of the creature behind him, so the action of you ducking down and the loud sound of shattering glass both confused him and gave him a fright. The fabric of the curtains was able to prevent most of the glass from getting through, but you were unfortunate enough to have a piece nick your right knee right below your dress’ hem. It started bleeding immediately and it streamed down your leg to stain your sock-clad feet. The blood was enough to smear across the floor when your foot moved. 

Unfortunately for you, Do-hun remained unharmed from his standing position. 

You crawled away from the wall and hid behind the white-marble kitchen island, unaware of the red trail you left behind from your bleeding limb, as Do-hun turned around slowly, taking the gun he kept in his belt at all times into his hands and pointing it at the figure still hidden by the furniture stacked high. The couch, with two dining room chairs stacked on top, screeched against the hardwood floor as a large wing made of only muscle and bone sent it flying across the room. You covered your mouth to hold in your yelps as the chairs loudly tumbled to the floor. Your eyes clenched tightly together and you tried to stop the sobs from wracking your body. Instead of focusing on the fight, you covered your ears tightly, making sure no sound could get through, and rocked yourself back and forth, trying to calm your erratically racing heart. 

Outside of your covered ears and hearing range, Do-hun started speaking to the intruder. “Oh,” Do-hun laughed his usual taunting and narcissistic laugh, a sound that was unfitting considering the situation. “It’s you. You didn’t get enough in high school?”

Hyun-su smirked as the dust cleared and he clearly saw the face of his high school bully. He let his eyes travel around, looking for the one person he was truly there for but not finding her. His face almost fell until he saw a strange trail of fresh blood leading behind the large kitchen island. There wasn’t any blood on Do-hun, so he knew it couldn’t have been from him. 

“You know, I really thought you might have changed after high school. Maybe you’d mature and see the error of your ways,” Hyun-su started, putting his arms into his pockets. He had transformed both arms back into their human forms for the interaction he was going to have with the bully, really wanting to see the fear on his face when he saw how powerful he really had become. “I guess I was wrong. You’re still scum.”

Do-hun scoffed and released the safety on the gun he still had pointed at the boy. “And I thought you would have killed yourself by now. I guess we’re both disappointed,” he smirked, tilting his head tauntingly. “But I got something you didn’t,” he leaned forward as if telling a secret but kept the distance between them. His lips formed a sadistic smile that made Hyun-su sick. “I got the girl.”

The boy who held your heart felt his own heart drop to his stomach, but he refused to let it show on his face. “Oh really? Well, I don’t see her,” he pointed out, giving another glance around the room and still not seeing you anywhere. The blood stain still held his interest but he would save that until afterwards. 

“Well, you won’t need to see her. I’ll make sure she sees you though, when I put a bullet through your chest and make her clean up the mess afterward.”

The anger rapidly rose in Hyun-su’s soul like a forest fire. He clenched his fists, hating himself for not being able to come sooner. With adopting and raising Ah-yi along with trying desperately to find where you lived - which was much harder than he expected in a technology-free world - he took much longer than he wanted to. 

‘Surrender.’ Hyun-su heard in his head. He looked behind Do-hun and saw the monsterized version of him standing next to him in the large mirror on the wall. The eyes of his double remained the deep black color he’d come to accept as a part of himself. ‘Let me help you. I only do what you want, remember?’ The other version of himself reminded him. 

“Any last words, Cha Hyun-su?” Do-hun asked him, now looking bored with the conversation and placing his finger on the trigger of the gun. 

‘Surrender. I’ll find her. We’ll find her.’ The monster insisted, speaking over and over in his head. Hyun-su’s thoughts were running all over the place, unsure of what he wanted to do. 

He could turn over his control to the other side of him, but that side was unpredictable. Even though he knew he would never hurt you, no matter what version was in control, he was still worried. 

On the other hand, if he stayed in control, he would have to fight through the pain and beat Do-hun on his own. It wouldn’t be that difficult but he just knew from how his finger fiddled with the trigger, that this apocalyptic version of Do-hun was a trigger-happy person. 

He wasn’t sure he could handle that kind of pain. 

He let out a deep breath, releasing his hands from his pockets and closing his eyes. 

‘Okay. Go ahead, just keep her safe.’ Hyun-su told his other half, slowly feeling himself lose control and fading away. 

“You know I will.”

When his eyes reopened, they weren’t the magically gorgeous deep chocolate brown that he had grown up with. Instead, they were a beautiful and vibrant sky blue. Do-hun’s eyes widened in surprise, but he didn’t show any other signs of a change of emotion. 

“I think I should be asking you that question,” the now monsterized version of Hyun-su asked Do-hun, referring to his previous question after a moment of silence. He could tell the eerily excited grin that lit up his face unnerved the boy in front of him and it sent a sick sense of satisfaction down his spine. 

“And I think you're forgetting who has the upper hand in this situation,” he reminded him before his finger pulled the trigger. 

You heard the loud sound of a gunshot go off even through the protection of your hands over your ears. The small whimper of fear you made might not have been heard by any human, but with Hyun-su’s unnaturally advanced sense, he heard it loud and clear. 

The bullet did indeed pierce through Hyun-su’s chest, but he just sighed in disappointment at the attempt on his life. “Is that really all you’ve got?” He asked cockily despite the blood oozing from the hole in his torso. Do-hun’s facade finally cracked and Hyun-su could finally see the fear lingering in them. He let out a small noise of excitement and his grin widened even more. He slowly, teasingly, took a step toward the bully who quickly, fearfully, pulled the trigger again. This time, the bullet missed Hyun-su completely and he tutted. Do-hun went to pull the trigger again, but in a flash, Hyun-su appeared in front of him and twisted the gun out of his grip, putting his arm into a wrist lock and pushing lightly. Do-hun let out a loud noise of pain at the feeling of his wrist nearly breaking under the pressure. With his other hand, Hyun-su wrapped his fingers around his neck and grabbed it tightly while pulling him close. The boy let out a loud yelp at the feeling of his wrist still being held hostage and now the feeling of no oxygen getting into his lungs. 

“I’m not going to ask if you have any idea what you’ve put me through, what you’ve put her through, because I know you know very well,” Hyun-su started. His tone was scarily calm as his finger tightened and loosened teasingly around Do-hun’s neck. One moment the boy could breathe in a drink of air, and then next he would be suffocating until the process repeated again. “But, if you tell me where she is, maybe I’ll consider letting you go,” he bargained. 

Do-hun nodded emphatically before using his free hand, which had been scratching at the wrist Hyun-su used to choke him, to point behind the kitchen island where you were currently holding your breath to stop yourself from hyperventilating. Hyun-su turned his head to look over at where he was pointing and was pleasantly surprised that he hadn’t lied to him about your whereabouts. With a grin, he faced him again and released his neck. “Good boy,” he mocked, praising him like a dog before his grip around his locked wrist tightened and he twisted it sharply. The bone of his forearm popped out of place and Do-hun let out a scream, looking at Hyun-su with something like betrayal in his eyes. “I only said I would consider it, not that it was a promise,” he taunted him. Do-hun breathed heavily until Hyun-su once again wrapped his hand around his neck and blocked off any airflow. This time, his grip was relentless; he refused to let up until the face of his former bully and abuser turned blue and his body went limp. Just for good measure, he snapped the boy’s neck and made sure he was dead for sure. 

Hyun-su’s monster let out a deep breath, feeling content with the revenge that had been boiling in his bones for years, only now getting let out in the way he best saw fit. The original Hyun-su would never admit it but he had pictured hurting Do-hun the same way his monster just did on occasion, wishing he could do that so he could get revenge for himself and for you.

You. 

Now, Hyun-su’s monster knew he should probably give control back to the original Hyun-su now that the threat was dealt with and he just needed to find you now, but he was the result of Hyun-su’s desires, and his desires were very selfish when it came to you.

He wanted you all to himself. Ever since the kiss the two of you shared after his parents and sister’s funeral, he hadn’t been able to get over the guilt and wished for you to return to him. When the letters stopped, it was even worse for him. He could still remember the last letter you wrote to him. He often read and reread it over and over again. It got to the point where he had the entire thing memorized. 

Dear Hyun-su,

It’s not your fault. It never will be. You didn’t do anything wrong. I refuse to let you ever think that even for a second, so if those thoughts ever intrude in your mind, think back on my words and let them remind you. 

It isn’t what I want, but I won’t be able to keep in touch any longer. I haven’t been as secretive as I’ve intended, not that being secretive is at all possible around Do-hun. I don’t have much time so I won’t be able to make this nearly as long as I want. I’m not even sure if it will make it to you, but God do I hope it does.

Please, never let the world change you. 

That was the time he really considered killing himself. The only thing that held him back was the thought of you and how he knew in his soul he would find his way back to you. 

However, since he wasn’t able to see you and you weren’t there anymore to stop him, even if you didn’t know it, his self-harm got worse. He was able to get clean a few months before the apocalypse, but the scars on his skin felt constantly fresh with the loss of your presence.

Yes, he was selfish. And his monster side was even worse. His monster hadn’t personally met you yet, so he decided right then and there that he wouldn’t return the control, not just yet. He wanted to meet you himself, to see you in the flesh through his own unnaturally blue eyes. 

Hyun-su snapped out of his thoughts when he heard the, unfortunately familiar, sound of your muffled crying. He walked over to the kitchen island, his feet not making a sound on the wooden floor - a trick he learned at the start of the apocalypse. When he reached the corner and the top of your head was revealed behind the white marble, he let out a sigh of relief. It felt like the weight of the world tumbled off his shoulders and he was free again. He saw you and the sun seemed to shine after a thunderstorm. 

He tiptoed around to be in front of you and kneeled so he was at your level. His heart, infected or not, broke at the sight of your knees pulled to your chest and your hands covering your ears. To not hear was also to not see, and to not see was for it to not exist, he supposed. Your eyes were clenched shut and your cheeks were stained with tears that continuously ran down them. Instinctively, he reached a calloused and bruised but gentle hand forward and wiped the tears off your left cheek. What he should have expected, but it still seemed to surprise him, was the way you screamed and launched yourself to the side to avoid his touch. Another instinctive action he did was grab onto your arm and pull you back to him. You reacted negatively to this as well. It seemed you weren't able to recognize the familiar face in front of you in your panic, but he was determined to make you realize it was him. 

You screamed and cried, swatting and kicking at the unfamiliar yet familiar and comforting touch of, what you presumed to be, a monster holding onto you. It was only when you heard the familiar voice speaking the syllables of your name that you froze. Your hands rested on the figure’s chest as you breathed heavily and slowly raised your gaze to their face. 

It was him. 

The boy you’d longed to see for months. 

“Hyun-su?”

He smirked. It was so weird to see it because it looked so confident. Cocky, even. This was not the Hyun-su you knew less than a year ago. This wasn’t the Hyun-su Do-hun had broken him down into.

But it reminded you of the Hyun-su you knew before everything happened. The Hyun-su who would mess your hair up and then run away with a mischievous grin as you chased after him. The Hyun-su who dragged you into the rain so you could dance with him despite the water soaking through both of your clothes. 

It was comforting. 

What surprised you the most, however, was the blue color that took over the brown eyes you longed to see. 

“Your eyes are blue,” you softly told him as if he didn’t already know. Your hands came up to lightly rest on his cheeks, so lightly that it barely felt like the touch was there at all.

The loose grip he had on your arms tightened slightly to keep you close - just in case you got scared and tried to move away from him again - when your eyes widened in realization. “You figured it out quicker than I expected you to. Smart cookie. And only because my eyes were blue?” He questioned, teasingly. 

Your eyes were still wide as you answered, but he was pleasantly surprised to see no fear in them. “Hyun-su wouldn’t act this cocky.”

He kissed the back of his teeth, shaking his head with a smile. “That’s where you’re wrong, sweetheart. I’m still Hyun-su. We are one and the same.”

“Are you one of those ‘special infectees’?” You asked, bringing your soft touch away from his cheeks to make air quotes with your fingers. He frowned, not liking how the places your fingers had touched felt cold without you but nodded nonetheless.

Your head tilted to the side and your left hand went back up to his cheek so you could cup it, almost unconsciously, as you stared at him in perplexment. He leaned his face into your touch just like how Hyun-su always did. You didn’t do it often in the past, especially after you got with Do-hun, but he would always lean into the warmth of your touch whenever you did. 

Do-hun!

Your eyes widened again and you turned to the side to try and see where he was. Your head didn’t turn far before Hyun-su cupped both of your cheeks and directed your attention to him again. “Don’t look over there, okay? Just look at me.”

You nodded, your eyes flickering back and forth between each of his eyes while you regulated your breathing. You knew he was protecting you from what was sure to be a gruesome sight. 

‘A sight that he created.’

The thought fluttered through your mind but it didn’t affect you in the way you expected it to. You expected to feel at least a sliver of guilt or maybe even fear of the boy in front of you for what he did, but instead you felt none of that.

You just felt relief. You were finally free of the person who put you through hell for almost a year. 

The hand not cupping Hyun-su’s cheek found its way to rest on his left shoulder. You didn’t keep it resting there for long when you felt a sticky, warm liquid stain into the creases of your hand. You pulled it away and your eyes quickly widened in fear. 

It was blood. 

You ripped your hand away from his cheek, an action that caused him to pout, and tore the collar of his shirt down past his shoulder. You gasped heavily when you saw the bullet wound right below his collarbone. Because of the black color of his shirt, you didn’t notice it before nor did you see the blood on the palms of his hands, the hands that had been holding your arms gently since you saw him. 

“You’ve been- you’re- oh my god-” You panicked, pressing your hands against the wound that was still bleeding so you could stop the blood flow. “I need to- I have a first aid kit. We need- you need-” You couldn’t get your words out, heavy breaths interrupting each one and not allowing you to think properly. 

Suddenly, a pair of warm, surprisingly still-soft lips met yours. You were still breathing heavily so you couldn’t really do anything except try to hold your breath as he kissed you. It was a feeling you didn’t know how much you craved to experience again until the moment it happened. Once he pulled away, you slowly let out the breath you held and just stared into his blue eyes. 

“Calm down. I’ll be fine, okay? Just show me where the first aid kit is. I’ll even let you patch me up if it’ll make you feel better. Is that what you want to do?” He asked, his face still only inches apart from yours. You could feel his breath hit your lips with every word and it just made you crave his taste again. 

You replied without looking away from his eyes. “It’s in the bathroom.”

He nodded, his lips tilting upward slightly into a small smirk. His eyes slowly flickered back and forth between yours, his head tilted slightly to the side as he spoke. “And what do you want to do? You wanna come with me and help clean me up or do you want to stay here until I’m done?” His voice was slightly teasing with a hint of a mocking undertone. It surprised you but you didn’t particularly dislike it. 

You gripped onto his collar tightly, scared he’d leave you. “Please don’t leave me alone,” you whimpered softly. The smirk on his lips grew a bit bigger at your words before he suddenly leaned forward and wrapped one arm around your back, the other going under the backs of your knees. He lifted you so effortlessly you were astounded at how little effort he seemed to use in order to complete the action. 

He made his way down to the bathroom, you in his arms as you gave him directions, and set you down on the large white marble countertop that the sink resided on. You watched as he kneeled down to open the cabinets below and rummaged through them messily until he found the first aid kit. 

He was only doing it for your sake, knowing that - especially in his monster state - he healed quickly and didn’t feel much pain. 

He took off his ripped muddied and blood-stained shirt while you grabbed the materials you needed while nursing his wounds. It wasn’t until you looked back up at him that you noticed his apparent lack of a shirt and your eyes caught onto his defined muscles. It was obvious the apocalypse had at the very least done wonders for his physique, that’s for sure. 

The man was even more attractive than you’d thought he was in high school. 

And you’d thought he was so hot in high school. 

It took you a moment to snap out of your stupor, but you did and purposefully ignored the arrogant smirk on his face while you honed your attention in on his wounds. He noticed the way your face warmed at his silent teasing but he decided not to comment on it and risk breaking the intimacy of the moment, especially when you started to clean his wounds and he felt your hands touch his skin. 

He slowly skimmed his hands up from where they had been resting on your knees until they reached your hips. He purposely avoided causing any fabric from your dress to rise since he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. You appreciated it greatly, but couldn’t help the want that grew inside you for him to take it further. 

The cleaning of his wounds, specifically the bullet wound - which took extra long because you had to make sure the bullet wasn’t still inside, which it thankfully wasn’t - took a while but you got them done. It seemed they looked much worse with all the dried blood and mud stuck to them than they actually were. The bullet wound had practically fully closed, and the same could be said about the majority of his other wounds. You were grateful he was an infectee, otherwise he wouldn’t have survived. 

He also wouldn't have ever been able to get to you in the first place, which was another bonus. 

Once the areas surrounding the wounds were cleaned, and he adamantly insisted he didn’t need the bandages you were so willing to cover him with, you grabbed a towel from the towel rack on the wall and wet it in the sink. Hyun-su looked at you curiously when you did and you just looked at him shyly. 

“It’s a filtration system using rainwater. I set it up before the whole apocalypse started, not that Do-hun appreciated me doing that,” you explained with a hint of pain in your voice, recalling the painful memories of when you put your self-taught engineering skills to use. 

“So you got to create it after all. I remember the first time you mentioned wanting to do something like that. I always knew you could,” he praised with a devilishly handsome smirk on his lips. The sight of it erased all the painful memories you felt - something Hyun-su had always been able to do. A hot feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach and it caused a damp spot to form on your panties. Hyun-su could smell the intoxicating scent of your arousal, and his hands tightened around your hips to hold himself back. 

“Thank you,” you whispered with a slight blush before focusing on wringing the cloth out and bringing it to the dried blood and dirt on his chest, gently wiping it away. Each time your fingers lightly grazed against him, he could feel his resolve slipping just a little more. 

It was only after the first swipe of the cloth that you realized just wiping it might not be enough for him to get clean. 

“I think… it might be better if you just take a shower,” you told him hesitantly. You wanted him to get clean and feel more comfortable but that would also mean you would have to leave the bathroom. 

He stared at you for a minute, trying to figure out what was troubling you but not quite being able to. Instead, he answered with a simple, “Okay.”

You gave him a small sad, scared smile - one that broke his heart a million times over - before you gently pushed him back so you could hop down and off of the counter. He watched you carefully as you crouched and grabbed a fresh towel for him from under the sink. When you handed it to him and fearfully turned to the door, he finally realized what was wrong. 

“Sweetheart, I don’t think you leaving is a good idea,” he warned, wanting to relieve you of asking to stay and instead just giving you the option openly. 

You sighed in relief and took your hand off the handle of the door. Turning back around to face him again, you looked into his eyes so seriously but with a hint of concealed desperation. “Are you sure? I can leave so you can have some privacy.”

He would be lying if he said the way you cared about his feelings and how considerate you were in general didn’t turn him on, because God knows it did. 

“I’m sure. You can wait for me on the counter. I won’t be long,” he promised and you nodded, hopping back up on the counter. 

While the regular Hyun-su would’ve avoided thinking about it at all costs, his monster had no qualms about imagining impaling you on his cock on that countertop; about making it hard to tell whether the steam fogging the mirror was from the shower or from your hot bodies colliding together with each thrust of Hyun-su’s hips; about making you cry out his name in pleasure while your dead husband’s corpse listened in from the next room over. He almost regretted killing Do-hun off so soon, especially without proving to him that he never had the girl in the first place. 

He started unbuckling his pants and your eyes widened before you hastily covered them with your cheeks heating up to dangerous levels. He chuckled quietly which caused you to blush harder. “You could’ve warned me,” you chastised. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” He teased, dropping his pants and boxers to the ground with a slight clatter and stepping out of them both. You whined and his already half-hard dick twitched. The sound of your whining and the sight of you in front of his naked body caused him to nearly blow his load right then and there. 

He smirked at you - not that you could see it - before stepping into the frosted glass shower and turning it on. He was honestly a bit surprised that you had soap in the shower but decided not to question it too much. 

Just as he’d finished washing his hair and torso, he heard the soft and imperceptible to anyone without his supernatural hearing sound of you gasping and your breathing picking up. It was when he looked over that he saw you completely turned away from the shower door and clutching your chest. 

It didn’t take a genius to figure out you’d snuck a peek at him through the window and evidently liked what you saw. 

He cursed under his breath, the sound concealed to you by the sound of the shower’s running water. He could smell your arousal despite being doused in water and it was making him go crazy. 

He leaned his back against the shower wall with a heavy breath and brought a hand down to his hardened cock, looking at your silhouette through the frosted glass and listening to your flustered breaths. He groaned under his breath as his hand stroked up and down on his cock. He imagined it was you in there with him, your hand instead of his. He could imagine the way your hand would barely be able to wrap around it if it even could at all. He held his breath to keep any sound from coming out as he squeezed and stroked his cock, the water covering his labored breaths. 

It wasn’t enough to cover the banging sound that happened when he slammed his head back against the wall as his fingers ran over the slit of his penis.

Your head perked up but you still refused to turn around. 

“Hyun-su? Are you okay?” You asked cautiously in a soft tone and god, he was a goner.

His dick twitched in his hand as he came all over the shower wall, coating it white with his seed. He breathed heavily as he came and almost completely forgot about the question you asked until you spoke up, this time more worriedly. 

“Hyun-su?” He could hear your breathing and how it picked up speed in fear for his safety. It made his heart swell just as much as it made his dick harden again. 

“I’m just fine. I’m not hurt,” he replied calmly as he grabbed the soap and cleaned off the lower half of his body like he hadn’t just masturbated to his best friend with only a transparent shower wall to separate them. 

You let out a sigh of relief and nodded to yourself. “Okay. Good. I got worried when you didn’t reply.”

The shower suddenly turned off and you felt a presence appear behind you only a second later. You turned your head quickly to look in the mirror but you closed your eyes just as fast when you saw your, very naked, best friend standing behind you. Your cheeks lit on fire and you let out a surprised little sound that went straight to Hyun-su’s cock. 

“I left the towel on the rack,” you explained, thinking he’d maybe just missed it. Instead, he leaned forward so his breath hit your neck and brushed your hair behind your shoulder.

“I know,” he said simply as he leaned forward and started pressing kisses along the expanse of your neck. Unconsciously, you leaned your neck to the side to give him more access and he smirked against your skin. Water droplets fell from his hair and skin onto yours and they slid down slowly. Hyun-su watched with hungry eyes as one slid down right between your cleavage and down to your stomach. He brought a hand up to your shoulder where he carefully traced the same path the droplet made, stopping once he reached the top hem of your dress. “May I?” He asked patiently. It made you feel sure he wouldn’t be upset if you wanted to stop right there and then. It honestly made you feel like you were floating. 

Instead of answering, you turned your head to face him and brought your right hand up to pull his face into yours, your mouths crashing in an intimate and passionate kiss. Meanwhile, with your other hand, you brought it up to grab his hand which was still resting right above your cleavage, not going any further until you gave your consent. You gently wrapped your fingers around his wrist and moved his hand around your body so it was at your back. Separating from his lips for just a moment, you whispered against his lips, “Help me unzip?”

You could feel the smirk against your lips as he reconnected them and sensually, with a painfully slow pace, unzipped your dress, the straps falling off your shoulders and pooling around your hips. Hyun-su pulled away for a moment to marvel at your bare breasts. “You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispered and leaned in so he was mouthing at your chest. At this point, you had turned so you were facing him directly while still sitting on the sink countertop. Your hands gripped his hair as he gently tugged on your nipples with his teeth, his hand playing with the breast he wasn’t paying attention to. Your head leaned back as you let out soft moans of his name that made him work harder and rougher to make them louder. He couldn't help looking up at your face and marveling at how drop-dead gorgeous you looked with your eyes closed and mouth hung open in pleasure. 

You tugged at his hair harder as you felt the hand not playing with your breast brush against your inner thigh, slowly going further up with each second until it was completely covered under the fabric of your dress. You let out an embarrassingly loud whine as you felt his fingers brush over your clit and through your folds over your panties, feeling the wetness inside. You bit your lip to silence your sounds when Hyun-su kissed his way up to your neck and bit down harshly, leaving a mark and causing you to let out a moan of mixed pain and pleasure. He left a wet kiss over the bite mark before leaning up so he was whispering in your ear. 

“I’ll only say it once. If you try to cover up the sounds you make again, I assure you I’ll force them out of you.”

A wave of arousal ran through you and it was obvious Hyun-su noticed by the way he let out a soft laugh in your ear before leaning back down to your neck and giving you as many love bites as he could. Meanwhile, he snapped the fabric covering your heat in half, allowing his fingers to continue running through your folds and to rub at your clit. Though you were curious to see what he would do if you continued to hold back your moans, you didn’t want to risk it and so you let them fall freely, your head falling back against the cool glass of the mirror. 

After a while, he decided it was time to stop teasing you and slowly inserted a finger into your cunt. Both of you groaned in unison as he did. “You’re so fucking tight,” he moaned out while you let out soft whines as he caressed your clit with his thumb, trying to make you ease up enough for him to add another finger. He slowly thrusted his finger in and out, hitting multiple spots inside you with each thrust that had you seeing stars. 

“Hyun-su,” you whimpered out, gripping his hair harder as you forced his head up so he was looking at you. 

“What is it, sweetheart?” He asked with a slightly teasing lilt. 

You brought his face closer to yours until your lips were touching as you spoke. “More.”

He smirked at you slowly gaining more confidence and taking what you wanted as you joined your lips together in another kiss. He obliged, slowly working another finger in until his middle and ring finger were both snuggly set inside your pussy, thrusting in and curling on their way out without fail. The moans you let out sounded heavenly to Hyun-su and his monster’s ears and he wished he could hear them every day. 

Scratch that, he would make sure he heard them every day from here on out. 

You came on his fingers with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, the sound of your moans traveling and not only sounding directly next to his ear but vibrating through his whole body. 

He slowly took his fingers out of you and shushed you as you let out a small whimper from the loss. Bringing his hand up to his lips, he stuck the two fingers in his mouth and moaned at the taste, his eyes closing as a result. 

“Come out so you can fuck her, I’ve had my fun,” Hyun-su’s monster told him, his control over the boy’s body fading away as the original Hyun-su regained consciousness. The first thing he noticed when he came to was the sweetest taste he’d ever tried in his mouth. He opened his eyes and saw something he’d been imagining for years, but something he never thought would actually happen. 

He saw you, halfway naked with your chest bare and rising as you took in deep breaths. He nearly choked in surprise but was able to calm himself down as you opened your eyes to look at him. Your own eyes widened at the sight of his once blazing blue eyes turned back to the magnificent brown you adored. 

“Hyun-su?” You whispered, bringing a hand down from where they still were gripping his hair and caressing his cheek. 

“Yeah,” he replied softly, “It’s me.”

You smiled at him and he felt his cock - which he just realized was as hard as a rock and standing tall in all his named glory - twitch. 

“Fuck,” he cursed, “I’m sorr-” he tried to apologize and move away when you used the hand still gripping his hair to pull him back into you and connect your lips. It seemed you pulled too hard because he crashed into you, his cock slapping against your still-sensitive core and his bare chest colliding with yours. 

You moaned into his mouth while he gasped in shock from the feeling. His hands instinctively fell to your waist where he gripped you roughly, much rougher than he was trying to but you didn’t mind the bruises his rough treatment would most likely leave. His hands slowly traveled down to your hips, pushing the fabric of your dress down even further. He gently pulled the dress up and over your head, making you just as bare as him. Then, he roughly grabbed your ass and hoisted you up so you were supported in his arms with your legs crossed around his hips. You gasped loudly which gave him the perfect opening to take control of the kiss, entering his tongue into your mouth and dominating it instantly. While he did that, he took careful steps out of the bathroom and down the hallway towards the only bedroom in the large house. Once he got in there, he gently set you down on the bed and crawled on top of you, never breaking the kiss. He broke the kiss only to lean his forehead against yours and give the both of you a second to breathe. 

“I love you,” you spoke through heavy gasping breaths. Hyun-su, whose eyes had been closed, opened them instantly to look at you in shock. You looked determined but a little insecure as you said it again. “I love you, Cha Hyun-su. I have since the first time you brought me out to dance in the rain and then when you cared for me all of the next week when I got sick. I can’t stop and I haven’t stopped despite not seeing you for all this time. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you.”

He stared at you in complete and utter shock. “Really?” He asked, disbelief coloring his tone. You nodded timidly before he cut off any other insecurities with a passionate kiss. “I love you, sweetheart. I have since the moment I met you. I knew you were the one for me and there would never be another who could compare. I want to be by your side until the end of time,” he confessed and you smiled a blinding grin. He smiled back as he interlocked both your hands together, subtly pinning you against the bed as his look turned from loving and adoring to loving and adoring and lustful once more. “Can I prove it?”

You smiled at him even brighter. “I would love it if you did.”

[klausysworld]

This request might be too much and I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable. So pls ignore if it does.

My idea is Klaus x human reader. Klaus and her become close and form a friendship. She’s dating someone for 4 years now and it starts to get abusive (mentally/physically or both). She finally confides and confesses to Klaus after he notices something is off. He basically helps her get out of it when one day said boyfriend follows her into the mikaleson house and tries to get reader out of there aggressively. The mikaelson’s hear the commotion and Klaus does something.

Flash forward to Klaus and reader in an established relationship, though reader is scared to be intimate as she’s still struggling from last relationship. One day Klaus and reader are getting into it and Klaus pulls her by her ankles to bring her towards him and it triggers her fight or flight (as Klaus doesn’t know last bf used to do that when hurting reader) and so instantly she hits him in self defence and then profusely apologizes. But Klaus is just understanding and holds her and tells her he loves her and if all he gets is holding her. Then he can live with that. The way it ends can be however you want.

Just been going through some things and needed to feel and I absolutely love your style of writing.

Again pls ignore if this makes you uncomfortable, that’s not my intent! Thank you!

(Triggering content, please don't read this if it might trigger you and know that both myself and so many people are there for you to talk to)

Her protector

Klaus had been concerned for a few weeks now.

Y/n was a sweet human, she was kind even to the Mikaelsons and had become close friends Rebekah after helping her choose a necklace for a party she was hosting. Rebekah proceeded to insist that Y/n come and that she would love to make some friends here in New Orleans.

If Rebekah was honest, she was surprised when Y/n actually showed up, with a vampire boyfriend no less. Either way she showed the girl around and they got talking, drinking and dancing. Y/n's boyfriend had seemed sweet, loving and on top of that he was friends with Marcel, one of his few day-walkers.

At that point everything was still okay. Mostly.

Until Klaus had come over and attempted to flirt with Y/n. Her soft cheeks had started to turn pink when a man, a vampire, slung his arm over her shoulders from behind her and gave Klaus a threatening glare. Rebekah let out a tipsy giggle and smacked Klaus's arm

"Leave her alone Nik, she's taken and my friend" she grinned but Klaus only stared back at the other guy. Y/n glanced between the two for a second and Bex rolled her eyes. "Come on Y/n, let them gaze at one another" she laughed, grabbing her hand and pulling her away.

Klaus didn't like that anybody thought they could challenge him, he didn't care if the girl was married if he wanted to flirt with her then he would. There was no harm done but the man before him was acting as though he had slaughtered his family.

However Marcel had seen the two in a silent stare down and threw his arms over both of them "My two best guys" he grinned "Lets go get a drink"

And so somehow Klaus found himself some-what drunk and laughing with this man, it was only the next morning when after he woke did he realise the way the guy spoke about his lover was a little off. He talked like he owned her, like she was a toy.

Klaus brushed it off though, it's not like he hadn't done similar things. Besides it's not like her knew her.

Until he did. And she was so lovely that it confused him.

Often Rebekah would have her over, painting each others nails, one of those time Klaus had stumbled in covered in cuts and scrapes. Rebekah offered a tut and a shake of her head but Y/n was already at his side, her hand on his arm while she asked if he was okay.

"He's fine, it's his own fault anyway. Always starting fights" she mumbled while watching her new friend help her brother sit down. She asked Rebekah to go get him some blood which she reluctantly did, handing it to Y/n and watching in interest as she lifted it to his lips. Klaus's eyes watched her with interest as his lips wrapped around the top and he began to gulp down the red substance. She checked his wounds were healing as he drained the bag of every last drop.

She had offered to help him clean up but he shook his head and told her to enjoy her day with his sister.

After that she was always nice to him, making him a drink if she was already getting one, bringing him back to eat when her and Bex had been at a cafe or something. She would tell him his hair looked nice or that she liked certain colours on him. One way or another she always made him smile.

Y/n knew that Klaus was lonely, often sad or grumpy. She had seen it and been told it so she made an effort to brighten his days. Rebekah always said it was nice seeing her brother a little happier and she was glad that them being originals didn't put Y/n off.

Their friendship grew strong and so did Klaus and Y/n's. Until one day when Y/n's boyfriend had seen her fixing Klaus's hair, using her fingers to curl the top pieces. He didn't say anything to her then but once she came home accusations were thrown at her. She was called a cheater and a slut, desperate for attention and fucking stupid if she thought either of the Mikaelsons thought of her as anything more than a toy.

She slept on the couch, crying her eyes out and cancelling her plans with Rebekah for the next day.

She tried to spend less time with her but Bex only got upset and ended up at Y/n's house instead. Y/n thought that he wouldn't get mad if it was just Bekah and no Klaus. So she and Rebekah went to hers more often than not and the few times she went back to the abattoir she would try avoid Klaus.

She was always polite of course, smiled at him and said hello but she didn't get too close if she didn't feel that she had to. Nor did she say anything about how he looked, even when he wore her favourite henley and grew his curls a little longer.

The only times she gave him some extra attention was when he was physically injured. She couldn't help herself. She couldn't let him struggle alone and in pain. So she would be there with a warm, wet cloth wiping away any blood while she held him a blood-bag to his mouth.

"Have I upset you recently sweetheart?" he asked quietly as she cleaned the stains off his neck

"No?" she whispered and he lowered her head to look up at her and catch her eyes

"Then why won't you look at me?" he questioned and she shrugged, looking into his eyes

"I am" she stated and he hummed

"You haven't been very nice to me lately, love" he told her and she nibbled her lip nervously

"I didn't mean to upset you" she murmured but he just stared at her for a moment

"I haven't seen you around much" he muttered

"I've been at home more, Bekah comes to me instead" she mumbled, and he nodded, leaving the conversation at that.

But he didn't know that when she got home her boyfriend had her by the hair, telling her that he had seen her talking with Klaus. Seen her caressing his face and going into his room. She tried to explain that he was hurt and that she was helping him but he couldn't care less.

"Bet you were fucking helping him" he seethed "Bet he gets all pent up after starting wars. Needs to get his frustration out hm?" he laughed cruelly and she shook her head

"No, no- I would never! You know I would never-" she cried but he refused to believe her.

"You were always such a whore, can't go ten fucking minutes without begging for it" he growled, dragging her to their room. She was useless at fighting back, he was a vampire and significantly bigger than her. So when she was thrown onto the bed and grabbed tightly by the ankles, she couldn't kick at him without him snapping her legs.

She hid away after that night, telling Rebekah that she was sick and didn't want to see anyone for a few days.

But once a week had passed and her boyfriend was still angry at her no matter what she did, she knew she needed to get out and see someone or she would go mad.

Rebekah and her had gone to a coffee shop, Y/n wanted to be somewhere public and without the risk of Klaus or her boyfriend showing up.

Rebekah could tell something was wrong though, Y/n was never that quiet or skittish. She was walking a little funny and did't eat much at all. And at any mention of Klaus, Y/n shut down the conversation in seconds. It made Bex think that her brother had hurt her or scared her so when they both returned home, she began to accuse Klaus, questioning and demanding.

It only made both Mikaelsons to become worried. They didn't realise how their whispering about Y/n caught her so called lovers attention and made him go back to her furious.

He always seemed to be flooded with anger recently. He hadn't ever been so horrid for so long in the past. Accusing her of cheating was something that always had happened, his jealousy had always been an issue but never this bad. Maybe it was because he knew that Klaus wouldn’t back down if he wanted her. Maybe it was because of whatever drunken conversation the two had on the first night they met.

Either way there was no excuse.

All there was, was fear and pain. And she knew that she needed to get out. The only people who could save her from a psychotic vampire was an even worse one.

So she climbed out her own bathroom window and ran, caught a cab and then climbed in through one of the Mikaelson's windows. It was late, dark but it was the best time for her to escape. What wasn't helpful was the amount of night-walkers that were downstairs. Most of which, were close with her boyfriend so she was screwed.

However, whether it was luck or fate, Rebekah and Marcel came down the stairs, arguing which made the others scatter off. It gave her the opportunity she needed.

She darted up the stairs, as quietly as she could and to Klaus's room. Trying to open the door but it was locked making her knock quietly "Klaus?" she whispered desperately "Klaus please" she begged, her eyes leaking with tears. She banged her fist agains the wood of the door making her wince from how her wrists had been held just hours before.

A tired grunt sounded from the other side before the door was ripped open, a very annoyed hybrid on the other side though his demeanour dropped when he felt a body latch onto his, arms around his mid-section and face in his chest.

He looked down, his eyes fully open now. "Y/n?" he mumbled, his hand cupping the back of her head.

"Please help" she whispered and he gently scooped her up, flicking the lamp on and putting her in his bed. She was in. sweatpants and one of her boyfriends shirts so he assumed she must've been in bed before she came. He quickly grabbed some sleep pants to cover himself up as he was in only his boxers.

He then sat beside her, letting her pull herself closer to her with a soft cry leaving her lips. He held her close in his lap and shushed her gently "What's happened?" he asked gently but she shook her head.

It was only another minute before Rebekah was at the door, she had heard the crying and recognised it as Y/n. Her face dropped and she came rushing in. She got onto the bed as well and stroked her hair "Y/n..." she breathed, holding her hand. Klaus and her exchanged a look as they listened to her try and hiccup her tears away.

"Sweetheart it's alright" he whispered, rubbing her back under the shirt before he noticed her face scrunch in pain and he frowned. "She's hurt" he mumbled and Rebekah quickly sat up straight, lifting her top slightly despite her protests to see the bite marks in her flesh.

"Christ" Bekah gasped and Klaus's expression darkened. He lifted her up to straddle his lap sp he could have a better look at her but she began to cry out hysterically at the position and he quickly lay her back down, guilt and worry consuming him when she crawled to Rebekah instead. Bex wrapped her arms around her and whispered quietly for only Y/n to hear. "Who did this?" she uttered, her fingers gently running through her soft hair. "Was it..." she trailed, but the look on Y/n's face was enough.

"I didn't know where else to go- he knows so many people" she sobbed and Rebekah nodded

"He won't touch you now" She whispered, looking to Klaus who was halfway out the door to find Marcel. "Nik's gonna take care of it all okay?"

"What's he gonna do?"

"You don't need to know that honey" she murmured softly.

They waited for a little while, Y/n stayed in Rebekah's arms and started telling her everything that had happened. By the time she was finished they were both crying and wrapped up in Klaus's duvet

"The worst part is that...I do think that I have feelings for Klaus" she whispered "he was right-"

"It wouldn't matter if you were actually sleeping with another man, under no circumstances does he have the right to lay a hand on you. You're not any of those things he called you, you're an angel" Rebekah told her, stroking her hair gently. Bekah glanced up to see Klaus stood in the doorway, eyes soft as he made his way back over.

He had heard Y/n admit to her feelings but knew that now was not the time to tell her he reciprocated them, he knew she would need time. So instead he just came back to his bed and shifted in beside her so she was between him and Rebekah.

"He ran as soon as he saw me but I promise I'll find him and I'll kill him" he whispered, gently brushing his hand over her back. "It'll be okay, just close your eyes sweetheart, I'll protect you" he promised, sharing a look with Rebekah as they all laid down and he flicked the lamp off.

After that night, Y/n slept in Klaus's bed every night. He kept her close to him during the days too, pressed to his chest with his arm around her. She was much quieter after everything, he could sense her embarrassment but he didn’t understand it. It wasn't her fault this had happened to her. He tried to talk to her about it but she wouldn't look him in the eye and he was only making her uncomfortable so he tried not to bring it up. Instead things seemed to go back to somewhat normal, they complimented each other and had their usual conversations which were mostly about random things to keep their minds off any supernatural drama.

Klaus hadn't been going out much recently which meant she didn't have to clean him up but sometimes when they lay in bed to go sleep she would trace his face.

Everything appeared to be going well for a little while before Y/n's boyfriend showed up out of the blue. It was one of those unfortunate times that Klaus was out.

He sped behind Y/n while she was in the kitchen, slapping his hand over her mouth to silence her screaming as he lifted and dragged her toward the exit. Growling in her ear and called her a filthy whore, saying she would never escape him.

What he didn't know was that one of the other vampires saw him and were under direct orders to call Klaus if he was spotted.

Klaus came rushing in, his teeth straight in the man’s neck causing him to drop Y/n to the floor and cry out in agony as the werewolf venom too quick affect.

Klaus had Y/n in his arms within a second, vamp-speeding them to his their room. Her face was held against the crook of his neck, encouraging her to breath in his scent and calm her breathing.

“He’s gone” klaus whispers “He’ll be dead by tomorrow” he told her gently “And a werewolf bite is a slow and painful death for a vampire” he reminded. “He deserves to suffer” he muttered and she nodded slowly.

“I hate him” she uttered.

“I know you do sweetheart” he mumbled as he pressed soft kisses to the side of her head.

Everything was a little better after his body was found. She felt safe in the house without the risk of him grabbing her. She was able to sit with Klaus and Rebekah without the worry of someone watching her.

But it didn’t stop the night terrors. She would wake up screaming thinking that he had come back to life and had taken her, tortured her. Instead, however, she would find Klaus. Out of breath with a healing bruise on his face from where she hand fought back in her sleep. The apologies would start tumbling amongst her sobs but he would just pull her close and kiss her better. Promising it didn’t hurt and that he understood.

Often he would go into her mind, with her permission, and give her better things to think about. Give her peace.

That helped her a lot, between Klaus’s affection and Rebekah’s constant company, she began to feel happy.

She and Bekah went shopping a lot, went out for lunch again or just sat in Bex’s room talking and giggling. They both felt as though they had gained a sister of sorts. Rebekah was so glad to have Y/n and to be able to help her, she also really hoped that Y/n and Klaus would get married so that they were sister-in-laws.

Rebekah was their biggest supporter, always telling Y/n that Klaus wouldn’t ever hurt her and that he already loved her so she didn’t have to worry about the rejection. But Y/n was still nervous, she wasn’t sure if she was ready for another relationship.

But eventually, months down the line, kisses on the head became kisses on the lips. Their hugs became cuddle sessions and instead of eating in the same room they cooked together and ate together. Klaus planned extravagant dates while Y/n arranged much simpler but just as intimate ones. Klaus would beg Y/n to let him paint her and she begrudge dress up for him and pose.

The only issue in Y/n’s mind was that she didn’t feel comfortable enough when Klaus would touch her more sexually. As soon as the gentle touches became more frustrated, more needy, she couldn’t handle it.

But over time she got a little better, heavy make-out sessions became more and more common and part of her thought that maybe sex was on the table until something triggered her.

Klaus had his hands all over her, his tongue in her mouth as she moaned softly. Her hands were curled into his soft curls as she tugged gently. His hands slid up her top and her back arched slightly. Everything was going well, her legs were round his waist and soft little pleas left her lips for him to give her more.

He pulled away slowly, his nose just brushing hers as he sat up. He smiled down at her as she followed suit and sat up with him, her legs dropping down.

“You ready sweetheart?” He whispered and she nodded, his smile widened and he took ahold of her ankles. Just as he went to pull her closer, a panicked cry left her and her foot kicked him in the chest, hard.

His hands let go of her and he held his chest in confusion before looking up and seeing the fear in her face. His expression softened and he raised his hands in surrender “Y/n, love, it’s just me” he told her gently. “It’s okay” he whispered, cautiously he shifted closer.

“I’m sorry” she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears “I’m so sorry” she repeated, pulling her knees to her chest.

Gently he brought his hands out and picked her up, pulling her onto his lap “it’s okay, it was my fault” he mumbled, kissing her lips gently

“It’s not your fault- it’s mine, I’m broken” she cried but she shook her head.

“It’s his fault” he whispered and she let out a soft sob. “He hurt you, but you’ve never been broken. You’re just still hurting”

She sniffled and nuzzled close “I just…I wish could-“

“I know…I know but we can wait. We can wait for as long as you need” he murmured softly.

“But…what if I can’t…like ever?” She whispers but still he smiled

“Then I’ll just hold you and kiss you and take you to dinner like usual. I believe I owe you a bouquet of flowers, no?” He hummed and she wiped her eyes with a sniff

“You do?”

“I do, come on, we’ll go pick a bunch” he held her close and lifted her as he stood, carrying her down the stairs listening to her little laugh as she pressed her face to his chest. She knew not many men would be as loving and understanding as he was, she knew Klaus wouldn’t hurt her nor would he ever leave her.

[riordanness]

slow motion, double vision - [w.scobell]

wordcount: 0.8K

warnings: self harm (reader)

requested: yes!

a/n: please do not read this if you struggle with self harm and won’t feel comfortable reading about it (it’s not described at all and reader doesn’t do it in this but it’s said that she has and a brief description of her wrist is also in this. don’t read this if you aren’t going to cope with that. and if you are struggling w self harm, reach out to me, please!! <3)

Another day on the Percy Jackson set. Today, we are filming a scene between Percy and Annabeth, an argument.

Walker gives me a grin once he’s finished up with the makeup crew. “Hey, you,” he says with an easy smile.

I try to replicate it. Walker has this gift. He’s so good at it. At everything. Life, acting, smiling.

All the things I struggle with.

“Hey,” I say back. “Looking good.”

“Says you.” He gives me an appreciative look. “My girlfriend looks adorable.”

I immediately get flustered. No matter how many days I’m dating Walker for, I think him calling me his girlfriend will always make me flutter inside.

“I'm not your girlfriend anymore,” I joke. “I’m Annabeth Chase, Seaweed Brain.”

He grins. “See you out there.”

As soon as he’s gone, my heart sinks again. It’s like he’s the only thing in the world that brings any kind of light to my darkness. The only smile on my sad face. The only sweet words I can say.

“The chair is the bargain,” Walker, as Percy, says. “One of us goes in, the other gets the shield.”

“I’ll do it,” I say, stepping forward, a determined look on my face.

“What? What a minute!” Walker reaches over and grabs my wrist. A flicker of pain crosses my features, but quick as lighting, I go back into character, hoping he didn’t notice.

“Whoever goes in isn’t coming out!” I say, my voice rising a little at the end.

“I know, that’s why I said wait.”

“This isn’t the arch, Seaweed Brain,” I snap in response.

“Cut!” someone yells, and I instantly break character, as does Walker.

The directing team is talking amongst themselves, which is usually a sign for us to just chat and wait for them to be ready to film again.

“Hey,” Walker comes close to me, his voice quiet. “Are you okay?”

I look at him, feigning a frown. “Course I’m okay. Why?”

He looks concerned, his blue eyes staring deep into mine. “You flinched just now. When I grabbed you.”

“Oh,” I laugh, which comes out so brittle I almost wince. “Nah, it’s all good. Just acting.” I’m brushing him off, and he knows that.

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” I tell him, and disappear before he can argue with me about it.

He finds me in the bathrooms. I’m standing over a sink, gripping the sides like a dramatic Draco Malfoy-wannabe. I have tears in my eyes, but the second I hear someone behind me, I brush them away.

“Y/n?” Walker asks quietly. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

I can’t answer, his sweet words just making me want to cry harder. I can only shake my head.

He buries me in a hug, his chin on top of my head, and his arms encircling me tightly. “Love,” he says again, speaking softly into my hair, “tell me what’s wrong.”

“Walker, I—“ I cannot bring myself to say the words, so I pull back from the hug, and pull up the sleeve of my Annabeth jacket. Across the inside of my left wrist are stripes of harsh red, jagged and fresh.

Walker’s eyes shatter, a million emotions and words and thoughts all inside their clear blue at once. His mouth opens a little.

“Y/n—“

“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I’m so so sorry.”

He immediately folds me back into his arms. “You have no reason to be sorry,” he says roughly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you feel this awful about yourself. I’m so sorry you felt like you had no other choice. But please—“ I can tell by his voice that he’s upset. Somehow, that makes me feel even worse.

“Please come talk to me before you do something like that,” he whispers.

“Okay,” I manage.

“Do you promise?” he asks, his voice ragged.

“I promise on the River Styx.”

I feel his smile through my hair. “I love you.”

I smile too, his warmth and love spreading through me like an antidote. “I love you too, Walk.”

He pulls away from the hug, his fingertips brushing the broken skin of my wrist as lightly as he can. “Come on,” he says. “Let’s get this cleaned and dressed properly, okay?”

I let him take me by the hand, and for the first time in my life, I feel completely and totally safe and understood.

With him.

[cannellee]

TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ☆

୨୧ alpha! tokyorev x omega! reader (pairing : hakkai, takemichi, shinichiro) PART 2

— top 3 pathetic men of tokyorev (trio of simps)

a/n : yes, I needed to rank them after seeing a girl on tiktok rank her favourite pathetic shōjo male leads... my turn ! (nothing great but it had to be done😔)

MY MASTERLIST: ☆

𐙚. N°3 : ALPHA! HAKKAI

there could have been so many options for n°3 but hakkai just seems right. my man is afraid of omegas!! so nervous and shy and for what ?!

the contrast between his enormous build, strong scent of a powerful alpha and the restlessness he has whenever he's talking to you is insanely cute. you can't help but laugh at him and he has no choice but to simply blush at how humiliated he feels !

what do you mean this gang member can't look at you straight in the eyes ? yes, hakkai is pathetic like that. but that's what makes your relationship this precious ; hakkai doesn't act all big and scary with his omega to try and assert dominance. instead, he trips over his words and flinches each time you initiate skinship.

courting is so long and tough, hakkai doesn't know what to do and where to start. should he ask you properly for what type of gifts you enjoy ? does he assume by himself ? do you even want to get courted by him ?

god, he's so unsure of himself. you'll have to guide him throughout your relationship, assure him it's okay to touch you and that he's not hurting you. he knows you're weak and fragile and hakkai's biggest fear is to bring harm to his lovely girlfriend.

he still can't realise he has a girlfriend. he's literally on cloud 9 and does everything to keep you with him. yes he's an alpha, and yes his demeanor changes when you're here. he becomes rather submissive in order to please you better.

also, hakkai is soo jealous. he literally can't bear the thought of any alpha laying their claim on you and ends up becoming overly protective. he's constantly on edge, worried sick about your safety to the point that he already has stalked you a few times... just to make sure you were okay of course !

please don't misunderstand him :( he loves you so much but he just has troubles expressing his overwhelming affection for you...

                                    · · ୨୧ · ·

𐙚. N°2 : ALPHA! TAKEMICHI

professional crawler, on his knees at any minor issue, ready to beg for the forgiveness of his omega. he listens and obey, even when you're wrong, he does as you say!

he admits his mistakes almost instantly and is afraid of upsetting you. he lets himself be scolded because his adorable omega has all the rights in the world when it comes to him!

takemichi borderline worships you, his precious girlfriend who happens to love his far from perfect self... what did he do to deserve such a pretty omega by his side ?

the smallest signs of affection from you are taken as the biggest gifts on his part and he literally can not get tired of it. he asks for more, shamelessly. tell him to do embarrassing things simply to get a peck on the lips and he'll comply in a second! he doesn't feel any shame.

boy is so eager to please :( his friends often make fun of him for how down bad he is, but he honestly couldn't care less.

he talks about you 24/7, everything reminds him of you : sends you pics of a beautiful blooming tree "y/n would love to be here!", he orders your favourite pastry whenever he walks past the shop selling it "I'm gonna buy it for her, I hope y/n will be happy to see I've got her favourite one!", he notes down the places he discovered and think you might like, that way he can bring you there with him on a date next time! and he also makes sure he restocks all your makeup supplies before they're even gone... he's the best!!

he's so desperate he'll try to sniff any lingering pheromones of you he might have on his sleeve after you leave, rolling his eyes when he successfully catches your scent.

he's such a hopeless alpha. you'll ask him how he managed to survive without you for this long and he'll simply answer that he never truly felt alive until he met you. so cheesy but insanely real:(

he melts whenever you're here to comfort him, you're such a reliable mate and takemichi feels so grateful for your devotion towards him. he swears he'll take care of you just as greatly as you do !

                                    · · ୨୧ · ·

𐙚. N°1 : ALPHA! SHINICHIRO

now how can we talk about pathetic men without even mentioning shinichiro. he is the og loser. gets no bitches like takemichi but his case is more severe.

meeting you was a blessing and having you fall for him was a miracle. calling this man a simp is an understatement, he is committed.

he already had little shame, but his dignity is nowhere to be seen if his omega is involved. he's so desperate to keep your relationship going that he's ready to risk everything just to satisfy you.

he buys you everything, gets you a gift and flowers each time you meet up. he asks for your kisses like a high on hormones teenage boy who never felt the touch of a woman, even though you've been together for a few weeks.

he's experiencing everything for the first time with you, which is why he's so eager to touch and feel you. to him, you're the sweetest, prettiest and most perfect angel...

shinichiro doesn't care about your social roles, you're the one leading your couple : shinichiro listens to you. his job is to keep you safe and happy, he has no limits whatsoever and smiles like a fool each time you talk to him. also, he lives for your praises!!

he has the worst pickup lines. he wants to impress you but fails miserably each time which is why he's 1st on this list. he just can't catch a break : he literally begged to take you out on a date the first time and somehow kept embarrassing himself out of stress. and it's you, the omega, who had to appease this big alpha that he was doing fine and that you liked his clumsy side.

when the both of you weren't dating, he would spend his time fantasising about you and bonding with you. he dreamed of biting your nape and actually becoming your alpha for real. he feels weak in the knees now knowing he successfully made you his.

his omega is everything to him and he's careful to be the most attentive and the first to fulfill all of of her needs without delay!

[katiesyellowcardcollection]

i’ll drive, i’ll drive all night - part two

Katie McCabe x reader McCabe

(teen younger sister)

part 1 part 3

Trigger warnings: a lot of talk about sexual assault and self blame,references to self harm and minor reference to suicidal thoughts, overall just poor mental health

AN: Not the best writing, it’s more of just me trying to put my own feelings and experiences into words. Also i have dyslexia so spelling/grammar isn’t the best sorry 😅

You wish you never went out that night, most nights you stay awake wondering what would life be like if you didn’t go out if you had just stayed home to watch katie play for ireland on tv like you had planned, if you had accepted your brothers offer to hang out for the day, if you hadn’t needed to go to the bathroom that night, if you had worn something less ‘sluttier’, if you didn’t put on so much makeup.

You blamed yourself, how could you have been so careless, you know the risks of going to parties at your age with people who your barley knew nor trusted, if you had followed your mams rules it wouldn’t have happened, if you weren’t so stupid and ignorant you’d never had been in that position. You shouldn’t have gone up the stairs with him trusting that he was just showing you to the bathroom, you knew better then that you should have known better.

Even now as your sat cuddling katie your head hidden away in her arms, tears streaming down your face, you can feel him, sense him, you know your being dramatic and it was your fault you knew this but it doesn’t make the feelings any better, you pull apart from Katie suddenly feeling trapped, the air feeling quite thick making it even harder to breathe then it already had been, you were panicking now it felt like the world was caving in in you, like you was suffocating as though your lungs were caving in.

“bug can you hear me? sweetheart i need you to take a deep breathe in for me, come on breathe with me, watch my chest y/n”.

Following katie’s words you watch as her chest rises up and down slowly, you notice her exaggerated breathes as she tries to get you to follow her breathing pattern, to try and get your breathing back to a healthy state, eventually after watching her chest for a few more minutes and having katie whispering soft words to you, stroking your forehead as she does so you, you can feel your breathing returning back to normal.

“We don’t need to speak tonight sweetheart, how about you go up to the spare room and just get some sleep, we can talk tomorrow alright?”

You agree instantly no longer wanting to talk to katie about what was happening, you weren’t to sure that you’d even be able to explain to her what was going on in your mind, although your fairly certain she just about understood what you were referring to before you broke down.

“go upstairs kiddo, i’ll be up in two minutes just need to lock the house up alright and then i’ll get you some clothes to get changed into”

Slowly you make your way upstairs, going into the bathroom to your face out, washing away any evidence that 10 minutes you’d been crying into your older sisters arms.

You look briefly in the shower, spotting the pink razer on the shelf, you don’t use it in the way you’ve been using razors recently instead you just stare at it, you want to use it so badly, so badly it almost hurts, you wanted to get away for a while, for everything to just go numb for a least a couple minutes

“Y/n can i come in”

The sound of Katie’s voice makes you jump dropping the razor into the sink as you do so. You’d been so close, so close to using it, it scared you how easy it was for you to find things to hurt yourself, but also how easily it was for you to do it, without having a care in the world you could mark your skin permanently and that scared you in fact it horrified you, how easy it was for you to lose control.

Hearing the door click open, you turn around from facing the mirror looking at katie who was now stood in the bathrooms door way, leaning against the frame, she looked like she’d been crying, because of you, your the reason she’s upset you realise.

“y/n what are you doing?”

hesitant to answer you opt to look around the bathroom, noticing how it’s changed since you’d last been here, the once green walls were painted white and you noticed a newly added bath.

You want to avoid her worried expressions, the way she spots the razor in the sink and not on the shelf where she could’ve sworn it was left, your shaking hands.

“nothing sorry”

Katie’s looks up at the ceiling taking a deep breath as she does so before focusing her attention back on you

“what were you doing with that”

she nods to the razor in the sink, keeping her eyes on you.

“nothing”

Katie rolls her eyes at you, shaking her head.

“you and i both know what you were going to do, i’m not stupid y/n”.

Katie’s reply stumped you, not entirely sure if she wanted you to just say it outright or just acknowledge that yes you wanted to hurt yourself or if that was even what her assumption was.

“Okay you don’t want to speak tonight i get it, you’ve had a tough day, we’ll speak tomorrow alright bug? i’m so proud of you for starting to speak to me earlier though, i love you goodnight y/n, remember im only next door and if you need me or you need anything at all don’t hesitate to knock alright?”

she lets you know breaking the silence, her words hang in the air as she leaves the bathroom, although not before taking the razor with her.

~~~

Getting under the covers in Katie’s spare bedroom, you can hear her soft mumbling on the phone outside your room, you think she’s talking to your mam about you, what she saw in the bathroom and the mess of what happened in her living room.

After awhile you heard katie end the call, you listened as the bathroom door opened and shut, as she turned all the upstairs lights off, as she paused outside your door for a few seconds and then eventually you heard the bedroom door click shut. The house going still and silent.

Once upon time the dark had scared you, when you were still little and innocent, when you thought that monsters lived under your bed so you needed your da to scare them away every night before bed, when your mam would tuck you up in bed in your pink dotted pyjamas and read you stories before giving you a kiss goodnight, turning your night lamp on and closing your door, you’d cry out for your mam or da to come and take you to their bed. Darkness scared you then, not anymore though instead it became something you craved, you lived for when everyone went to sleep and the house went dark and quiet.

It was the only time when you could truly think and feel every emotion of the day, when no one was there to judge you, sometimes you wish you could lay in the dark forever and never get up, sometimes you wish death would take you on your sleep, you wished that maybe this would be the last time you closed eyes, othertimes you remember your still a teenagers and life won’t be like this forever.

Laying in katie’s spare bed starring up at the ceiling you couldn’t sleep, you lay awake in the dark replaying the events of that night over and over again, it was like this every single night, you’d replay your every action that night, what drinks you had, who you had been with, how you could’ve prevented it from happening and it always circled back to that same point you shouldn’t have gone upstairs, you wish you could take it back, wish that you did everything differently, you wish so desperately you were that carefree kid with pig tails running circles around your siblings giggling without a care in the word.

~~~

The next morning was weird, you’d hadn’t slept at all, this had become a common occurrence, in fact you wasn’t sure when the last you had actually slept was, around 8am Katie popped her head round the door expecting you to still be sleeping having not been awake long herself.

Looking up she frowns at you “have you actually been to sleep y/n?” she questions her frown becoming more evident.

you shake your head “no i can’t sleep sorry” you mumble back at her, avoiding her gaze.

Katie so desperately wanted to know what was going on with you, she wants to know why you can’t sleep, why your getting into trouble constantly, and she needed more clarity on what you were trying to tell her last night, she already had an inkling to what you meant and it broke her heart, knowing that someone had stripped her baby’s sister innocence away from filled her with a kind of rage she’s never experienced, how could someone do that to her? her carefree, loving, kind, beautiful sister.

“i came in to let you know that cait has practice today but i’m gonna stay home with you alright? we can have an open and honest conversation okay?” she says smiling up at you “and you don’t ever need to say sorry for struggling, i love you”.

You nod in agreement getting out of bed as you do so, following katie down the stairs.

walking down the stairs you wonder what the conversation will be like later, what she’s going to say to you, what her reaction will be to you basically ruining your life, for spilt second you wonder if she’ll be angry at you, yesterday was the first time you’ve ever seen her anger directed at you, she never shouted at you, not even when she was a moody teenager wanting to be alone she had always made time for you, played with you when the others said no, ma used to tease her for it “y/ns got you wrapped round her finger Katie” she’d say as you convinced her to play trains downstairs, you had been as close as siblings could be, even when she left and moved to london you were still close, visiting as much as you could and going to as many games as school allowed, you feel bad realising you’d never given any explanation to your older sister, you just stopped calling, stopped visiting, she hadn’t done anything wrong you just didn’t want to talk knowing that she’d having you poring your little heart out in minutes of hearing her voice.

“Morning y/n” caitlin shouts enthusiastically startling you “would you like some toast? or cereal?”

“No thanks i’m not that hungry sorry”

this causes both caitlin and katie to frown, “you didn’t have dinner last night y/n and you probably didn’t have lunch either” Katie says butting in, you nod in agreement “i didn’t but i’m just really not hungry kats” you tell her sincerely not wanting to keep lying to her face.

“okay but your having something soon and i will not be taking no for an answer” she lets you know giving you a pointed look.

~~~

You and Katie had had a pretty chill morning, neither of you yet to address the talk that was supposed to be happening. Katie had made you come with her to drop caitlin off at training stopping at Starbucks on the way home, despite the chill morning your nerves were at an all time high waiting for katie to start the questions, you knew you weren’t going to get away with lies and so you’d gone through exactly what you wanted to say and how you wanted to say it.

it was around 12 when katie paused the tv show you’d been watching and came over to sit next to you calling coopurr over in hopes to give some comfort.

“Ma wants you to come live me” she lets out looking at your face for some kind of reaction, she had been expecting you to be angry, taking you away from your home, your friends.

Your not really sure what to say, you think moving away could help you, a fresh new start where no one knows you, you wonder if your ma was washing her hands of you, no longer wanting to be associated with the failure of daughter she now had, you wouldn’t blame her if that was the case however the more rational side of you realised your mam didn’t have a bad bone in her body and if she thought it would help you then you’d do it.

Slowly nodding your head you agree “i think a new start would help me” you tell

her honestly.

Katie hasn’t prepared for this answer, she thought you’d storm out, start shouting at her, she hadnt expected you to agree instantly with zero arguments.

The pair of you sit in silence for a few minutes, you were unsure how to approach the conversation that needed to be had and Katie didn’t really know what to say, how to get you to open up to her”

“Talk to me y/n”

You don’t want to talk, but parts of you know that you’d probably feel better if you did, it was something your ma had rammed into you from an early age, talking always helps.

“i don’t know what to talk about”

For once your being genuine , to much had happened since you’d last saw Katie, to many things were running round your mind that it was hard to pick one to talk about.

“How about we talk about the party”

you wonder if she knew what had happened, you thought it was fairly obvious from what you said the night before, even so you agree”

“he-h-he touched me” you say barley above a whisper “i didn’t want him to but he did and it’s all my fault im so sorry please don’t hate me” you sob out, fresh tears running down your face for what feels like the tenth time since you’ve been in London.

Katie’s wraps you up in a hug as your tears continue to fall, everything that had happened coming back to you, everything you’d have built up coming out in tears streaming down your face.

The look on katie’s face was heartbreaking she already knew what you meant from what you said last night, she wasn’t naive but hearing you say it aloud and blame yourself, apologising to her, killed her, knowing how long you’d kept it in blaming yourself what happened. How could someone do that to her baby sister, in her mind her sister was still that sweet little 8 year old, how could anyone do that to her, she was shattered, that night she had run through all the possibilities of what you could’ve meant hoping praying to god that you hadn’t meant that, she was furious, furious with the boy, furious with herself for not spotting the signs, furious at the universe for putting her sweet baby sister through this.

“Thank you for trusting and telling me baby, it wasn’t your fault, it will never be your fault you didn’t ask for it, what you were wearing or what you drank or how you behaved wasn’t asking for it, you were just trying to have fun at a party with your friends, nobody deserves or is ever at fault for being taken advantaged of, it wasn’t your fault y/n.

You want to believe her, you really want to believe that it wasn’t your fault but you just couldn’t it was like your brain was conditioned to believe that everything that ever went wrong in your life was your fault.

You think Katie gets at what you’re thinking.

“if someone came to you and told you what you told me, would you blame them? would you say it was all their fault”

This leaves you feeling stumped because you know for a fact you wouldn’t, you’d do everything in your power to make them know it wasn’t their fault, to help them just like katie is doing now.

You just shake your head unsure of what to really say.

“Exactly, look at me y/n you were 15 years old, trying to have fun on Tuesday evening like most teenagers do, it wasn’t your fault”.

For the first time since it happened you realised that maybe you weren’t at fault, you started to believe your older sister’s words because yes you had done some some things you shouldn’t have done but you didn’t deserve that.

Katie seemed to have realised that in the last minute or so you’d relaxed more, there were no longer tears running down your cheeks nor were you shaking as much.

“How about you get some sleep y/n, i can tell your tired just close your eyes baby, i’m so proud of you for telling me y/n”

Closing your eyes move over to her side resting your head on her lap.

“will you stay?” you whisper up to her, she smiles and agrees.

“i love you y/n so much my baby sister”

[weasleyreidstyles]

Serendipity

chapter eleven

summary: it was only meant to be a purely transactional relationship. he would help her strengthen her abilities in return for her getting his friends out of his father's nasty path. he didn't mean to fall for her, but loving her was the easiest thing in his dark world.

no use of y/n, but your general nickname is Meadow. all characters are aged up to be over 18.

pairings: mattheo riddle x fem!ravenclaw reader; platonic!slytherins x fem!reader; platonic!golden trio x fem!reader

warning(s): fighting, mentions blood, more angst lol

series masterlist; previous part; next part

The three of you sit in varying states of unrest beside Ron's hospital bed.

Hermione was still gripping his hand, as if her touch would entice him to wake up; Ginny was throwing a ball against the nearest wall as she quietly chatted to Mione, ignoring the glares of annoyance from the matron every time her ball made a thwack sound against the stone; you were sat on one of the uncomfortable chairs, a copy of 'Mythical Lore' in your lap, your eyes darting to and from Ron's chest to check that he was still breathing. Harry was Merlin knows where, but you knew he'd be back soon, never willing to leave his friends in distress for too long.

It had been like this for hours. Your tears had dried up and your anger had simmered away slowly; all that was left was the hollow feeling of helplessness and despair as you sat there.

Helpless against the poison that was slowly leaving Ron's bloodstream.

Helpless against forces that harmed your friends.

Helpless to whatever was happening to you.

A monster is what you were. A mythical, dangerous monster. Your gut churned with unease.

The somewhat peaceful atmosphere was interrupted as the doors to the Hospital Wing behind you burst open in a flurry that alerted Madame Pomfrey instantly.

"What is the meaning of this?" she said to whoever had appeared in the doorway. You swivelled in your seat to see, noting Ginny's incredulous look and Hermione's annoyed one, which could only mean one thing.

"Where is my Won-Won?" the squeaky voice of Lavender Brown sliced through the calm. "Cormac McClaggen told me he was here but I didn't believe him."

Madame Pomfrey tutted at her dramatics and pointed the girl in the direction of where you were all sat. You tensed at the blazing heat simmering in Lavender's eyes as she looked between Hermione's hand in Ron's.

"Y'alright Brown?" you say with a grimaced smile, discontent with the fact that you knew the other two wouldn't dare to speak. "Ron's been out for a few hours. Should be cognisant properly in a week's time."

Apparently you'd taken to snarky remarks to cover up your terror at the fact that he had not so much as stirred from his dreamless sleep. She turns to you then, her features betraying how worried she was for her boyfriend, but she had let jealousy rear its ugly head.

"And what is she doing here?" she hisses, pointedly looking at Hermione as you and Ginny share bewildered looks.

"Well-" you say, awkwardly glancing between the girls, "Well they're friends aren't they?"

"Yes well, you're friends with Theodore Nott, but it's so obvious that you're fucking each other behind closed doors." she snaps and you gape at her in disbelief. "Forgive me if I don't think that Granger's intentions are any less pure."

"I am not fucking Theodore." you jibe, throwing a whithering glare at Ginny who had let out a loud snort at Lavender's self assured statement.

"I've been friends with him for longer than he knew of your existence." Mione snapped, not letting go of Ron's hand, scowling as Lavender lets out a catty laugh.

"You're joking right? The two of you haven't had a civil conversation in weeks. But I suppose you want to make up with him now that he's all interesting." she says shrilly and its Ginny who whirls on her this time.

"You call being poisoned interesting? Are you that dim?" she questions and Lavender's resolve jostles only slightly.

Suddenly, Ron's features contort in discontent.

"Oh look at that." Lavender says smugly, eyes flicking to Hermione's grimacing face. "He senses my presence."

You yelp as she practically shoves you away from where you are sat, leaning over to peak at her boyfriend's face as it twitches with his dreams. He begins to mumble something that you can't make out and Lavender begins to encourage him to speak up, as if he'd be able to hear her.

You just stare at the back of the girl's head in annoyance until she staggers away, mouth agape with shock. You're confused until you hear it for yourself.

"Her- Mione. Mione. Mione." he chants her name like a siren's song.

Hermione smiles gently and her thumbs caresses his hand softly as he continues to mumble incoherently in his sleep. Lavender lets out a broken exhale and promptly flees the ward. You pity her in that moment. Not even the most incorrigible of people deserve that kind of betrayal.

The three of you are silent as you watch Ron. But he's sound asleep again. Still, as if it had been a combined figment of your imaginations. You stand to make the matron aware of this development, playfully shoving Ginny away as she taunts you.

"I can't believe she thought you and Nott are fucking." she laughed. "Unbelievable."

"Shut up." you berate her and she lets out a giggle before replying in a barely hidden whisper.

"Wrong Slytherin Prince, right?"

She smirks as you throw up a middle finger towards her as you reach the matron's office on the other end of the Hospital Wing.

~∞~

Somehow you've mastered the accute art of stealth.

In the week that has passed, you have managed to drift through the castle halls without so much as crossing paths with any of the Slytherin group. Partly due to the fact that you spent your time in the Hospital Wing with a near-cognisant Ron, in classes or in your dorm. You didn't dare go to the Room of Requirement or the library and you were eternally grateful that it was not your week to do the nightly Patrols.

Ancient Runes proved to be a difficult feat, but you somehow coerced a fellow Ravenclaw to switch seats with you in exchange for completing the next essay so that they could focus on training for the quidditch match at the end of the week. Under normal circumstances you would've abhorred the idea of it, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

You could feel his eyes practically burning holes to the back of your head in all your shared classes, and you felt him in the corridors, but you didn't dare give in. You didn't want to see him. Couldn't bare to face him.

Mattheo was restless and agitated. All week long you wouldn't so much as look at him, let alone deign to spend an ounce of time with him. He was worried.

When you slammed the common room door in his face a week ago, he had reluctantly confessed to his friends about what the two of you had discovered; each of his friends were wholly willing to help him find a way to help you, if only he could tell you the good news.

And he'd tried. He'd reached over the tether that had connected your mind to his, but each time he was met with an offensive wall of dark stone. You'd blocked him out completely, and he would've been impressed if he wasn't so desperate to hear your voice.

Now he knows how you must've felt all those weeks ago, but it's different now. Now there are feelings involved. Now he doesn't know how to cope without your snark and sarcasm.

When he found Jeremy Stretton sat in your seat in Ancient Runes he found his reigned in emotions snapping. Especially when he saw that you were sat in the front, happily chatting away to Hermione and one of the Patil twins, waiting for Professor Babbling to turn up. He doesn't know why the sight of the Chaser makes his blood boil.

Mattheo slammed his hands onto the desk, bringing his face level with Stretton's, who had looks up in startled alarm. Mattheo was seething, and he didn't particularly care that everyone was beginning to peer curiously at the scene that was beginning to unfold.

"What the fuck are you doing at my table, Stretton?" he snarled, eyes narrowing as his hands tightened around the lip of the desk.

To his credit, Jeremy shook off his stupor and looked at Mattheo obstinately.

"I'm sitting in my seat, Riddle. Problem?" the Ravenclaw chaser replied, challenge flaring in his oceanic eyes.

Mattheo's glare became venomous.

"That...is not...your seat." he said slowly, his voice low and dangerous. He could see you standing up in his peripheral, looking as if your going to intervene, but Granger stops you with a hand to your shoulder, a look of incredulity on her face. "I suggest you move, before I move you myself."

"Well actually," Stretton says with a barely there smirk, "I think you'll find that it is my seat. I don't know why it's taken her so long to do so, but Meadow practically begged me to swap and I can only oblige to her wishes."

He sees red almost instantly and Stretton's shirt collar finds its way into the clenched fists of Mattheo's hands, his hot breath fanning over the Ravenclaw's smirking face. He now knows why fury coats his every being with a tiny detail that whispered to his consciousness. Stretton had taken you to the Yule Ball two years ago. This was a product of pure jealousy as well as rage.

"Oooh did I hit a nerve?" Stretton says. "What could dear, sweet Meadow possibly see in you, Riddle?"

Mattheo doesn't register the feeling of his fist untangling from the shirt collar, until he feels the soft cartilage of Stretton's nose breaking beneath bloodied knuckles. He can vaguely hear Theodore and Pansy telling him to stop, can barely hear the sounds of people jeering and gasping at the scene. But what he does hear is your blessed voice.

"Mattheo stop it." you say, and it's like the sound brushes away the feelings clouding all his senses. He lets go of Stretton, who flops to the floor unceremoniously, but he doesn't pay him another glance. Not when you're looking at him the way you are. With bewilderment and what he thinks is unease. His breathing is ragged as he steps towards you, but you step back.

"Are you insane?" you hiss at him and to his utter horror, you turn your gaze to the blubbering boy on the floor and kneel down to help him instead.

"Jeremy?" the way you say his name with a soft tone grates through him and he's about to step towards you again, when Theodore's firm hand on his chest stops him.

"Let it go. You've already caused quite the scene brother." his voice is a gentle caress to his ears and his graciously listens to Theo who sighs in relief, pushing Mattheo out of the door, ignoring the shouts of Professor Babbling, who had just entered the classroom.

~∞~

Wordlessly, you heal Jeremy's wounds as Professor Babbling meanders in, unaware of the turmoil that had occurred only moments ago. Jeremy was hissing and cursing as your magic washed over his skin.

"You can take your godsdamned seat back, Meadow." he spat. "It's so not worth getting another beating over."

You smile grimly at him, guilt clouding your eyes. "Of course. I'm sorry, Jeremy."

"Not your fault, love." It's nearly impossible for you to hide the way the nickname makes you cringe. "Can't say I won't miss the opportunity for some extra quidditch practice though."

He bats your healing hands away as Professor Babbling stands above the two of you.

"What on Earth is going on?" she says, voice stern. "Does it have anything to do with why Masters Riddle and Nott are notably absent?"

Jeremy nods immediately at the same time that you freeze, not willing to give them up so easily. He stares at you incredulously. You clear your throat awkwardly.

"Uh, yes. Yeah." you say in a muted whisper. "But it's been sorted."

Jeremy throws you a look, which you adamantly ignore as you rise and go towards Pansy's table, taking Theo's empty seat. She doesn't so much as look your way, tense as you sit down. You close your eyes and sigh.

"Look I'm sorry that I've not spoken to you." you mumble without turning to face her.

"Ignored and neglected more like." she retorts in response. "I had no idea about Ron, Meadow. You have to believe me."

You reach over and squeeze her hand in your's. "I do believe you, Pans. I do. But it doesn't mean that the others didn't. And I-"

You're cut off by Professor Babbling's introduction to the lesson's topic, but the squeeze that Pansy's hand gives your's is all you need to know that you're both okay. And that's enough for now.

"For what it's worth," she mumbles almost imperceptibly. "You're doing an awfully good job of avoiding him. I've never seen Mattheo so ruffled."

Instead of satisfaction, that statement only brings you an aching sense of pain. And whether you do it unconsciously or not, you'll never admit, but your mental walls break down the smallest amount.

Enough for him to know that you're in as much agony as he is.

~∞~

As soon as Pansy leaves your side after you've walked out of Ancient Runes, Hermione is there immediately.

"Okay, what in Merlin's name happened in there?" she asks incredulously.

"We both know Riddle has a short fuse, Mione. It's not that abnormal to see." you retort and she gives you a disbelieving look.

"Maybe so, but it can't be just me that's noticed that he hasn't resorted in bloody fist fighting in months." Damn her and her brilliant observation skills. "And why was Stretton in your seat in the first place?"

"I asked to swap." you say with a shrug and when you don't give her the answer she's no doubt looking for, she pins you with a glare.

"You've been avoiding them all week. Parkinson, Nott and Riddle. You've spent more time with me, Ginny and Harry this week than you have all year."

"Tired of my presence already, Mione?" you say with the ghost of a smirk of your face. When she doesn't return your humour, you sigh. "I've been a little busy with visiting Ron. And maybe Harry's spiels have been getting to me."

"What?" she questions before lowering her voice. "You think they're Death Eaters?"

"I don't know what to think." you say. "But I can't talk to them. I won't."

"You spoke to Pansy, just fine earlier."

"She's not the one I'm avoiding."

A brief glance into her mind shows you that she thinks you're speaking about Theo. And while the thought of speaking to him after what he no doubt had a hand in helping orchestrate, seeing Mattheo, speaking to Mattheo, makes your heart want to drop right down to your stomach.

You can still feel the phantom of his power all this time later. Though that could just be you imagining it; you don't doubt that the brief feeling you got was exhilarating. It terrified you.

"Are you coming to see Ron after lunch?" Hermione asks as you part ways for your differing classes.

"Yeah. I'll find you in the Great Hall once I've finished Astronomy." you smile in farewell as she makes her way towards her Arithmancy lesson.

Your smile slips immediately as you turn the corner, because you find yourself trapped between a cold stone pillar, and his strong, muscled chest, his arms straining as they pin you to the hard structure. You don't look up to lock eyes, instead glaring intently at his loosened Slytherin tie.

"Hello, Princess." Mattheo spits menacingly. All he gets in response is a huff from you. "Still intent on avoiding me, are you?" he lets out a dark chuckle that sets your skin alight, and you can tell without looking that a sinister smirk paints his gorgeous face.

You feel as he sensually caresses your mind, and it has you keening into him.

Let me back in. His deep voice is demanding and assertive. At your blatent refusal he growls. Why won't you let me in?

I can't. You say back, your inner voice a mere whimper in comparison to his. He tilts his head down to look at you, chasing your eyes with his own. He can feel your fear and self hatred like it was highlighted in bold colours for all to see.

"What are you so afraid of, darling?" he asks out loud in a low and raspy tone that makes you melt. Your eyes shut on instinct, squeezing away the light until your dizzy.

"I'm going to be late for Astronomy." you say, deflecting and he scoffs, pushing you further into the wall.

"It's barely eleven o'clock. I'm sure you're not going to miss a change in star pattern any time soon."

"That's not even the point and you know it." you argue, trying in vain to evade his strong hold.

"Stop avoiding us. Stop avoiding me." he begs. "Do you know how insufferable Teddy has been?"

"What a horrible thing to say about your best friend." you retort halfheartedly. But Mattheo is only partially glad that you're returning his words with quips of sarcasm. He sighs.

"I don't blame you for what happened in my dorm, love." Unlike how you cringed away from Stretton, your heart sings at the nickname. "'S not your fault."

"I could've drained you to death, Théo." you say quietly, and his face heats at the shortened nickname. One that he had not heard in years, since the passing of Theodore's mother. "I don't know how you can stand to be around me."

You're still evading his eye contact, so he lifts a hand from the wall and gently cradles your chin, moving your gaze to his; bloody knuckles contrasting with the smoothness of your skin.

"You're not a monster." he says resolutely, like he truely believes it. "You never have been, and you never will be. Not to me, not to my friends, not to your friends, either."

Your brow furrows and your eyes line with unshed tears.

"I went to Dumbledore." you say and he stills. "After I left your common room. I went to him and he said I was a weapon. Because I can detect certain magical objects and people."

Mattheo's body lit up with fury again. You were not a weapon to be used and discarded. No, you were a person who did not belong on the frontlines of war.

"And what did you say to that?" he asks you, onyx eyes narrowed in anger that was not directed your way.

"I told him that I didn't know how to control it. That I wasn't interested in being fated to die." you say, and it feels good to talk about things you're too afraid to speak to your friends about. "I asked him to grant you all safety too."

At this, Mattheo's gaze snaps right to your own. Incredulity lacing his features. "Why would you do that?"

"He could see right through my shield." you defend yourself at his tone. "He refused anyhow. Said you had to ask for yourselves, and he knows that you won't."

He admired your ire for his friends. But he almost winces at the glare you send his way.

"You knew that he wouldn't help any of you no matter when or how I asked. Didn't you?" you couldn't believe him.

"You learn to expect nothing less from the people who expect nothing but bad intentions from you, sweetheart." he replied with a shrug. "Though I wish they'd help the others, no matter if they associate with me or not."

His face is dark as he lets you go. But you don't move away. Instead you tilt your head and stare up at him, eyes moving across his features: from his onyx eyes framed by gloriously long lashes; to the bridge of his nose, crooked from previous fights with a long scar stretching across the middle of it; to his perfect mouth that pouts slightly as he gazes down at you.

Keep looking at me like that and I'll take you in this very corridor. He snarls in your mind and you smirk.

Kinky. But I draw the line at exhibitionism. You pat at his hard, muscled chest and make to move away and run towards the class that you are no doubt now late for. But he stops you with a firm grip to your bicep and he spins you around to face him again.

"Tease." he mutters with his own smirk as he presses his lips to your's. It's as euphoric as the first time, and every time after that as his lips fight against your's, ultimately winning your miniature battle for dominance. You mewl into his mouth as his tongue brushes against your's, hands clawing at the hairs at the nape of his neck as he pushes you into the wall once more.

You're so lost in eachother that you don't hear them when they turn the corner. Ginny and Harry stop dead in their tracks as they stare at the two of you wide eyed. The former smirks at the thought of finally catching you out but it drops immediately when she turns to the boy beside her who is visibly fuming. And she can't steer him away fast enough to save you from his wrath.

"Shacking up with Death Eaters now, Meadow? I thought that was below you." the spitting sound of your best friend's voice breaks you from your daydream like state and you force yourself away from Mattheo's wondering mouth to gape at your two friends.

Ginny is sending you an apologetic look which you bypass in order to face the scathing eyes of Harry Potter.

"Harry-" you say, stepping out from where you're trapped between Mattheo and the wall, and you're so grateful that he doesn't keep you pinned there, instead he stands slightly infront of you, arms folded, a glare set on his face.

"Don't." Harry says, eying the way Riddle stands infront of you protectively. "All this time, I thought you were only tutoring him for Nott's sake. But, of course you just had to get in his bed, too."

The hand on his bicep is the only thing stopping Mattheo from launching at the boy.

"Watch it, Potter." he snaps, his position infront of you turning defensive.

Harry lets out an incredulous laugh; Ginny's attempts to persuade him to leave it alone, are ignored.

"I overheard you." he continues as if Mattheo had not spoken at all. "In Dumbledore's office. Begging him to help your friends."

You don't know what to say. Starstruck by his anger. But you understand why he's angry at you, and that ache burns ever brighter in your chest.

"The same friends who have tormented us, tormented you for years. How can you even ask such a thing?"

"They deserve to be helped just as much as the rest of us." you say at last, your voice quiet and on the verge of cracking with emotion. The lump in your throat gets bigger with every word you speak. "You know what it's like to grow up in an unwanted home Harry. You know that no one deserves that."

"That's not the point Meadow." he snaps and he visibly delights in the way you recoil at his words. "They're all Death Eaters. Working for his–" he points a steady finger to the boy stood beside you, "-father. Did you ever stop to think that they were buttering you up to take to him once they got wind of your powers."

You blanch at that and turn your gaze to Ginny. She gapes between the three of you and avoids Harry's eyes. "I didn't tell anyone. I promise you, Meadow." her resolute tone is the only thing grounding you to reality right now.

Harry shakes his head. "Dumbledore told me that you can siphon people's power as well as perform Occlimency. When were you going to tell us?" his anger gives way to betrayal as he looks you up and down. And the way he spits out the word 'siphon' tells you everything you need to know. He thinks you're a monster.

"I was going to tell the rest of you." you promise, not looking at Ginny again. "But only when I had a better grasp of it."

Harry scoffs and steps towards you. Rolling his eyes when Mattheo stands directly ahead of you.

"Back off Potter. If you know what's good for you."

The way his venomous lilt travels through you should make you ashamed, but it only sends sparks of arousal to your core.

Harry only looks at you from over Mattheo's shoulder, distain painting his pale face as he utters a heartbreaking sentence before he leaves, with Ginny following quickly behind him, with a silent promise to find you later and apologise for Harry's (entirely justifiable, you think) words.

"Don't go to see Ron later, and don't you dare seek us out again. I don't trust you, and I don't know if I ever will again."

Mattheo is onto you the second the pair depart, wrapping you in his arms as you collapse from the onslaught of emotion that crashes down on you.

What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? You say over and over and he does his best to comfort you, going as far as to sit against the wall, cold floor stinging against the fabric of his school trousers, cradling you into his chest.

It's okay. I'll fix it. I promise. Is all he can muster up in comfort as you crumble before his very eyes, sinking into his embrace.

~∞~

i love writing angst lol i hope you enjoyed this shortish chapter (lots of time skips im sorry)

the coming updates will probably be slow since i've gone back to uni - i have to complete three presentations and come up with a product idea and a lab report in like 5 weeks 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

i've tried to fix it and i've reported the bug but i'm still incapable of editing pretty much all of my posts (not the serendipity masterlist post though, thankfully) and its getting quite frustrating now but we move 🫡

taglist:

(striked out users are ones that i couldn't tag)

@camille-1019 @lovelyygirl8 @xluansstuff @babeylover @thejadeazalea @undercover-smutlover @adhxmoony @dreamingofonceuponatime @thepassionatereader @urmomsgayforme5 @aphroditeisamilf @devotedlycrookeddonut @purplegirls-posts @nofacenonamelikekira @foxboyapologist @lafrone @lovely-maryj @nromanovaswife @leeknows-wife @dracygf @wildlyobserving @ravenclawprincess33 @melllinaa @vellicora @lantsovheiress @emiliahoward @stunkbiggu @vcosette @prongsprincessworld @mattiesgirl @rachmmb @x-kermit-x @sun-fiower-seed @cas-planet @certaindreampost @weirdowithnobeardo @mikalovesicecream @sunasbbie @rainy-darling @faeriepigeons @lovely-blackinnon @hiireadstuff @gimalo135 @elsafromcabinsix @moonlightreader649 @blueshome @nopedefe @spencerreidsthings @navs-bhat @agent-tempest @magimtz23 @y0urm0m12 @sbrn0905 @leona-hawthorne @whatsupb18 @moni-cah @taylorann2013 @unstablereader @gisellesprettylies @nat1221

[synapticjive]

Osha is Qimir’s salvation.

Crying out Sol’s name to arrest him from murdering Qimir instantly crystallized Osha’s position in Qimir’s life. The way that he singsongs her name like a prayer, almost in relief, the “I knew she was different” written all over his face? In that moment, she was his.

He doesn’t attempt to kill her in that entire fight, only to disarm- the exception being when she puts a literal target on his back. If he wanted to kill her, he could have. He doesn’t. He’s closer to killing Mae than Osha at each encounter. Their history, and her betrayal, incentivizes him not to protect her anymore. (I think that Qimir was acting to protect Mae in several ways, but more on that later.) Osha’s blind duty to protect his life- when really, she wanted to protect Sol- instantly attaches Qimir to her.

I’ve seen this floating around, and I agree- I think that Osha is going to become a caretaker to Qimir, a reason for him to live, a reason for him to abandon his death wish. She’s going to keep saving him. Her reasons will change- from being protective out of duty to being protective out of love.

I think that the scariest part will be when she can’t anymore, either by going too far to the Dark Side or something else. I don’t know how Qimir will react to that. I don’t know if he’ll get angry, resentful- perhaps he’ll self-harm in some way. All I know is that it would destroy him.

[beemochi-art]

PAX AND ARIEL! Simpler times, Happier times. Back when everything thing made sense and nothing mattered but each other.

Orion comes from a higher background. Thanks to alpha trion, Orion was able to become an archivist and get proper medical treatment for his condition, he loves learning all he can about everything but history is what he likes most.

While training for his position as an archivist apprentice. He noticed a cleaner in the halls. She was out of place for the job she was taking on. A pretty femma hauling big ass loads of trash out of the building and then coming back for more, getting her beautiful plating dirty and not giving a shit about it. She was super strong too. He was enamored. Orion was also curious how she has such a difficult and dirty job when she could easily be doing something else, She was beautiful. Plenty of companies were looking for secretaries. When she had a break He gained the confidence to talk to her.

On Ariel’s side he walked up and she was instantly attracted. They got to talking and she simply answered Orion’s question with “I have my reasons.” She brushed over the subject and asked him out on a date. Orion was dumbfounded but ultimately ecstatic.

Things moved pretty fast. (They Rizzed each other) They were both incredibly comfortable in each other’s presence and pretty much spent most of their free time hanging out, cuddling, flirting, doing things in places they shouldn’t. Orion tried to hide his condition from her the best he could in the beginning but ultimately just caused more harm to himself. He thought she would leave if she found out because it’s a rare condition but a debilitating one. They exact opposite happened Ariel would educate herself about his condition to try and help him best she could, caring around extra inhalers and doing venting exercises. Orion’s condition would never go away but her being there and making sure he was taking care of himself made him need his inhaler less than he usual did.

Ariel is a lower class mecha. Most of her past and information is either unknown or she’s unwilling to share. Orion never pushed her. She’s a bit of a troublemaker and seems to go wherever she wants too (rule breaking is new to Orion). Ariel’s job is shitty, the mechs she works with are bottom of the barrel scum and don’t like Orion. But she refuses to quit for whatever reasons. But it has short hours so she has more time to hang around Orion. She sometimes is self deprecating and tells Orion he could do better, and that she would only cause problems for him. He doesn’t care tho and would do anything to convince her he’s not going anywhere.

After dating for like a year or two, they agreed when Ariel had all her ducks in a row, they would conjunx. Orion wouldn’t mind conjunxing her that day but it was her decision.

That however that didn’t work out.