#i just wanted to know what the boat was doing

[homestylehughes]

reading interruptions

pairing(s): quinn hughes x fem!reader

summary: when yn gets interrupted by quinn and his dirty mouth, while reading on the boat.

warning(s): plot with porn, smut 18+, oral fem!receiving, dirty talk, cussing. quinn has a dirty mouth in this. fluff, cute reader and quinn.

wc: 2.8k

an: hiiiii!!! new quinn ficcccc. i will never leave my quinn era. ever. recently ive been in a summer mood, first with sundresses and now with boats idk whats going on LOL. i honestly dont know where this idea came from, and for some reason i think it's bad? idk maybe ive just been looking at it too long i couldnt tell you LOL. so let me know if you guys like it or not. anyways!! i'll stop yapping now. i hope you guys enjoyyyy, like and reblog if you do! as always much love <3

happy reading <3

The morning sun comes through the window, peeking through everglow slightly illuminating the room, casting a light glow over the walls and a sleeping quinn. Quinns body lays partially over mine, our legs intertwined together. his face nuzzled into my neck, soft snores leave his mouth as he sleeps soundly against me.

There weren't many days where I'd wake up before Quinn, his schedule keeping and waking him up at the early hours of the day. Ever since the hockey season ended in a heartbreaking loss in the playoffs, he'd been sleeping more, getting the much deserved rest he’s needed. Quinn wanted away from hockey, from Vancouver, so he decided heading to the lake house earlier than usual to get away from everyone would be the fix. 

Which leads us to the position we're in now, my hands moving slowly up and down his back as he still sleeps soundly against me. Quinn always looks the most peaceful when he’s sleeping, so at peace and calm.

I feel quinns body shift slightly besides me, feeling him roll away from me, my body already feeling cold without his warmth beside me. I sit up in the bed, watching Quinn stretch and yawn himself awake, rubbing his eyes like a little kid before he turns to me with a soft smile on his face.

“Good morning” he says, his voice thick with sleep. 

“Good morning handsome” I smile back “sleep well?” 

“Mhm” he mumbles out as he makes his way to me from across the bed, grabbing my thighs pulling me on top of him. 

“Hi” i giggle from above him 

“Hi baby” he grins at me, his hands finding my neck pulling me down into a sweet kiss. My hands lay flat against his chest as I melt into the kiss. After a few moments I pull away to catch my breath, and to get a better look at him. The glow of the sun now being at its brightest, covering most of the room. Highlighting Quinn's body, his golden brown locks and blue eyes shining brightly in the glow. 

“You look so pretty” I say, as I bring my hands to his cheeks, running my fingers over his jaw, over every scar. Tracing and taking in everything part of him, memorizing every line like I've never seen them before. Quinn blushes at my complement, nuzzling his face into my hand, a smile breaking through on his features as he does so.

“Thank you baby” he says, bringing his head back to lay against the pillow looking back at me. “What do you want to do today?” his hands running across my bare thighs, his touch spreading warmth throughout my body. 

“Could we go on the boat?” i ask

“Is that what you want to do?” he asks me again.

“Mhm, yes. I even brought a new book to read to you, just for this, " I say with a smile.

 Quinn loves when i read to him, the peaceful feeling of being on the boat, the waves flowing beneath would be the perfect setting. 

“Alright you've convinced me, maybe we could even have lunch on the boat too? If you're up for that?” 

“That's fine with me, just want to be around you” I say before dropping my head into his neck, breathing in his scent, his arms circling around my waist pulling my body flush against his. 

“Okay baby” he says into my hair

 “Okay come on, let's get up. '' I said, lifting myself from him, patting his chest before swinging my legs off of him getting out of bed.

“I'm cominggggg” Quinn says from the bed, as I make my way to the bathroom, turning back around to see him lying face down in the middle of the bed, his arms and legs fanning out across the bed. 

Giggles rip through my body as I look at his childlike state, shaking my head as I take another glance at him before turning around heading to the bathroom to start getting ready for my day.

Taking a quick shower, throwing on a random swimsuit, before heading down stairs to start making lunch for myself and Quinn to take on the boat. 

Deciding on sandwiches and chips, with some fruit would be the best option for lunch. Just as I'm packing everything up I see Quinn coming down the stairs, in a pair of black swim trunks and a Canucks shirt. 

'What did you pack for lunch?’ he asks, pressing a kiss to the side of my head, walking behind me to the fridge to grab bottles of water before turning back the counter, putting the bottles of water in the cooler.

“Sandwiches, chips and fruit, is that okay with you?” I say as I place the food into the cooler along with the water, closing the top before looking up at quinn. 

“Yeah that's fine with me baby, perfect” he says leaning in for a quick kiss

“Do you have everything you need?” he says while grabbing the cooler from the counter walking towards the back door

“Yes I think so, let me go grab my bag from the couch then I'm ready” I say smiling at him, making my way to the living room grabbing my bag that has my book, sunglasses and other things in it, pulling it over my shoulder before following Quinn out the back door.

Following him down the dock towards the boat, reaching the boat, Quinn got on first placing the cooler down before turning around offering me his hand, helping me step on the boat. 

Walking over, placing my things on one of the seats, turning around, taking a look at the lake, the site never fails to take my breath away. I feel Quinn's arms circle my waist, pulling my body against his. 

“Where do you wanna go today?” he asks me, his chin resting on my shoulder as he looks out at the lake. 

“Doesn't matter me” i say turning around wrapping my arms around his neck, “take us where the wind takes you” 

“That was so corny” he laughs 

“Yeah it sounded better in my head..” i say laughing along with him

“It was still cute” he says, giving a kiss to my forehead, turning around making his way to the dock, untying the boat from the dock. 

“Okay ma'am we’re about to take off, all passengers please remain in your seats” he says with a smile spreading along his features. 

“Yes caption” I say, saluting him, taking a seat on the boat.

Making his way to the cockpit sitting down, turning on the boat before taking off along the water, the wind blowing in my hair as we ride across the lake

The boat rocks gently to the calm waves that run through the lake, Quinn docking the boat, now at a standstill in the middle of the lake. The bright summer sun beating on our skin, the warmth casting over my body as I grab my book, before settling back in my seat. Moving a pillow to rest under my neck and part of my upper back, laying down to rest myself against it, pulling my knees up, so i can rest my book on my thighs opening it book, i begin reading,

The romance novel pulls me into an alternate reality so deep that  I forget that I'm even on the boat with Quinn until his voice breaks through the silence. 

“I missed it out here” he says his eyes looking around the lake taking in it like it's his first time seeing it, “i forgot how peaceful it is out here” he continues.

“ It's so peaceful out here, it's nice to see you so relaxed” I say to Quinn, looking at him above the pages of my book.

“I thought you were supposed to read to me baby?” he asks

“Come over here” I say with a smile, opening my legs so he can rest in between them. his footsteps padding across the boat, as he lays himself between my legs, his warm skin laying against mine, his arms circling around my waist as he pulls himself closer to me. 

“Comfortable?” I say looking down at him, his head resting against my stomach, Quinn shaking his head up and down in response. 

“Good. okay, now where was I?” my eyes searched for where I left off on my page, finding my spot again, taking a deep breath before I began reading. My eyes glance down every few minutes to see if Quinn is asleep or not, occasionally feeling his fingers trace down my sides, as I continue to read to him. Just as I'm getting to an interesting part in my chapter, I feel Quinn's body move lower against mine, not thinking anything of his movement. I continue reading. 

Pausing to take a deep breath before reading the next line, I feel a warm kiss being placed right below my belly button, causing me to stop reading, lifting the book up, looking down at Quinn whose face is right in front of my covered core, his eyes locked with mine. 

“What are you doing?” I ask slightly confused at his actions

“Nothing, just wanted to lay down here, keep reading for me baby” 

“Okay” I say before licking my lips, picking up on the unread line. 

I don't even make it through half the page before I feel Quinn pressing more kisses across my lower stomach, kissing all along the top of my bottoms. His fingers sliding under the ties on the slides pulling down slightly, rubbing his fingers along the skin under. 

Clearing my throat before starting again, my brain struggling to register the words I'm reading, all of my focus on the man between my legs. My brain goes completely to mush, when I feel quinn pressed kisses against my covered core, my breath immediately hitching at the sudden touch. 

“Quinn, i'm trying to read '' my eyes locking with his, a small smirk dances along his face. 

“No ones stopping you from reading baby” he says, his fingers moving under the sides of my bottoms. 

His hands move to pull on one of the strings that hold the left side of my bottom together, pulling it apart with one tug, repeating the same action on the other side, his eyes still locked with mine. 

“Quinn '' my breath hitching, as he moved his thumbs under the now loosened fabric, peeling it back, exposing my bare cunt, the wind casting a slight breeze causing me to shutter when it hits my exposed center. 

“Quinn” I say again, my voice slightly higher than the previous attempt, trying to get his attention. 

“Yes?” 

“What are you doing? I thought you wanted me to read to you?” 

“I did, but now I want to hear that pretty mouth make some other noises,” he says, before grabbing the loosened bottoms from my body, throwing them somewhere on the boat. Grabbing the book out of my hands, closing it, throwing it in the same direction. 

“Quinn, are you serious, I was reading!” I am slightly annoyed but turned on at the sudden change of Quinn's intentions.

“Shhhhhh, lay back and let me have a taste” his eyes locked with mine as he began tracing random shapes on the insides of my thighs, his hand inching closer and closer to my exposed cunt. 

I couldn't help but comply with his words, his face inching closer and closer to my center, I felt his warm breath against my folds. His tongue darted out, licking a stripe down my center. My head falls back against the pillow, as he begins to lick at my folds. his hands pulling my thighs apart, gaining better access to my cunt. 

His tongue finds my clit as he begins to run his tongue along the bud, my jaw falling slack as my hands grab his hair, needing something to stabilize myself with. As he continues to lap up my clit, like a popsicle on a hot summer day. 

“Quinn, fuck” I moan out from above him, his movements never slowing running his tounge over every part of my cunt. The sound of him sucking up everybit of my wetness, is like music to my ears.

“Taste so good baby” he mutters against my cunt, before diving back in, his hands pulling my thighs further apart as he continues to devour my cunt. 

“Quinn don't stop please” my chest rising and falling quickly as I struggle to catch my breath. My body feels like it's on fire, not just from the heat of the sun on my skin but from the feeling of Quinn’s burning touch.

His tongue continues to thrust in and out of my weeping hole, my moans growing louder and louder as I feel myself getting closer to my peak. 

“Fuck look at you baby” pulling his face away from my cunt, bringing two of his fingers dragging them through my cunt, my wetness coating his fingers. 

“Look at that baby” he says now looking up at me, holding the two fingers in front of him, “do you wanna taste?” he asks me 

Nodding my head in a yes, Quinn brings his fingers to my mouth pushing my lips apart, shoving them into my mouth slowly. My tongue swirls around the digits, the taste of my cunt wrapping around each of my taste buds. 

My eyes are locked with Quinn’s as I continue to suck on his fingers, his eyes hooded with mine, blown with lust and he looks up at me. He slowly pulls the fingers out of my mouth, a string of saliva following them. Tracing his fingers down my stomach down to my core, before running them across my cunt, my body itching around nothing from the action. 

“Quinn” i whine

“What baby?” he says as continues to run his fingers along my cunt. 

“Do you want my fingers? Is that what you want?” 

“Yes fuck please” i whine again, my hands finding his hair again pulling it, hoping that, that will urge him along. 

“So needy baby” he says laughing against my cunt, placing a kiss to my slit before pushing two fingers into my cunt. 

My head dropping back instantly, my body feeling full, as he starts thrusting his fingers in and out. Broken moans are falling from my lips, my eyes closed as my body moves against his. Moving my hips to help meet his thrusts. 

“Right there right there” I moaned, my legs beginning to shake as I felt myself about to come. 

“Quinn” i whine out, as he attaches his mouth to my clit, rolling his tongue over it, as his fingers continue to fuck me. 

“Please dont stop fuck” lifting my head to look at quinn, the sight of him inbetween my legs, mouth wrapped around my clit, as i watch his fingers thrust in and out me, takes my breath away. 

Quinn's eyes looking up, locking them with mine, his movements never stilling. My hips continue to move against his, the burning feeling in the pit of my stomach continues to grow with every touch, thrust, everything setting my body a blaze. 

One last curl of his fingers sends me into a frenzy, my head dropping back against the pillow, my month agape but no words are coming out. My legs shaking as I come, my hands still in Quinn's hair pulling the locks so hard that it probably hurts. My vision clouds over as my orgasm takes over my body. 

I don't even realize Quinn's fingers have left my body, until I feel him pressing kisses along my neck. My eyes opened slowly, my chest still rising and falling, struggling to catch my breath and find my words. 

“Are you with me, pretty girl?” Quinn says, looking down at me, pushing hair that's fallen into my face back. 

“Yeah i think so” bringing my hands to his face, pulling him down into a kiss. 

“Did so good for me” he says once he pulls back, “always so good to me” he says peppering kisses all over my face. 

“I love you” i mumble to him

“I love you more” rubbing small circles on my sides, as he looks at me, a wide smile on his face. 

“Can you go grab my book?” I ask him with a small pout on my lips

“Oh im not done with you yet” quinn says with a smirk playing his face, before flipping us over, my hips now straddling his lap. 

“I think this is next to go” pulling at my top, undoing the strings in the back pulling it from my body tossing it somewhere in the boat, my top now completely bare to him. 

“Now where was i?” he says licking his lips, before crashing ours together. 

[httpswritings]

Good Luck, Babe!

alexia putellas x reader; 1,2k words; internalized lesbophobia, happy ending.

You didn't know how you ended up in a lesbian bar, but you felt quite comfortable.

The music was nice, the women were nice, and you felt a familiar sensation when you saw two women leaving together to probably enjoy the rest of the night by themselves.

A taller woman joined you and asked if she could buy you a drink.

You politely declined the offer.

Ten minutes passed by, and a blonde woman approached you.

Alexia.

Her eyes were breathtaking and her smile very charming. 

You enjoyed the conversation you were having, but you felt a burning desire for her lips.

Your eyes were fixated on them and Alexia, as if Alexia could read your mind, she whispered in your ear, “You're being very obvious.”

You blinked rapidly and immediately apologized, making Alexia laugh.

“There's no need to apologize. I didn't say I didn't enjoy it.”

“Yeah, but I'm not like you.”

It took Alexia some time to realize what you meant, and now it was her turn to apologize.

“Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I thought we were on the same boat.”

“Do I look like it?”

Alexia frowned.

Why would you be so offended by someone thinking that you were into women it if you were in a lesbian bar?

“No. Because no one looks like it. You either are or not.”

“I'm not.”

“I know. Now I know.”

You saw Alexia visibly hurt by your rudeness and decided to apologize.

“No, please. Accept my apology. I was very rude.”

Alexia answer something back, but you were so captivated by her beauty that you didn't even pay attention.

A woman approached you both, looking directly at Alexia, and tried to start a conversation with her.

It surprised you how angry she was making you just with her presence.

Alexia was talking to you, why did she have to be here?

You almost lost it when the woman asked Alexia for her number. What you didn't notice was that Alexia was amused by your reaction.

Your face had a reddish colour, and you couldn't stop bouncing your left leg as a way to cope your jealousy.

Alexia also noticed how you relaxed when she declined the woman's offer.

When you two were alone again, Alexia made the first move to say goodbye as she was feeling quite tired.

You walked in the opposite direction but then looked back, and noticed Alexia looking back too, looking at you.

Not even thinking straight, you walked to her and asked her for her number.

“You seem very nice. I'd love to have you as a friend.”

Those words hurt Alexia, but honestly, what could she expect.

You had told her that you weren't like her. You were straight.

-

There was nothing wrong with the idea of bisexuality as a sexuality, but just thinking about being involved with men made you want to throw up.

You didn't want to be a lesbian.

You felt your world lighting up thinking about that word: lesbian.

It's as if your heart was telling you what you needed to hear.

But you refused to acknowledge it.

That's why you didn't message Alexia.

You didn't let yourself even think about her.

You had to like boys and only boys.

-

Some weeks after, you decided to go out with some friends.

In less than thirty minutes, you all were surrounded by men who were interested in you and your friends.

This was very different from what you felt on that lesbian bar.

The group of men were very charming and nice, but they weren't Alexia.

And it wasn't even about Alexia.

They weren't women. 

They weren't familiar to you.

You looked at their faces, their hands, their smiles, and you thought about how would it be to wake next to one of them.

Then you thought about how you would start your morning with Alexia.

You imagined opening your eyes and seeing her peacefully sleeping, or even better, Alexia half-awake looking at you, and that simple thought made you smile.

One of the boys that had his eyes fixated on you thought that you were smiling at him as you “listened” him talking, and tried to be friendlier by touching your arm as a way of deepening your conversation.

His touch made you feel miserable.

You didn't want him to touch you and your arm immediately sought Alexia's touch.

You excused yourself from your group and went to the bathroom.

The boy mentioned before took that as your way of telling him that he should go after you, so he excused himself too.

Your friends and the other men cheered, thinking you'd end up hooking up in a bathroom stall.

You entered the women bathroom and saw his face in the mirror.

You immediately stopped him as he tried to approach you.

“But I thought—”

“Well, you thought wrong.” 

Thankfully, he was polite enough to leave without any hesitation.

You washed the part of your arm where he had touched you.

Without knowing why, you felt a rush of anger at yourself throughout your body.

You didn't want to go back to your friends, but you felt so small in that bathroom, and so close to breaking down.

Maybe your friends didn't understand you.

It was natural for them to be interested in men, but you needed someone who would get how you really feel.

Without any hesitation, you called Alexia.

It was wrong. It was nearly midnight, you were a complete stranger to her, but you needed her.

She was surprised by your call.

It made her very happy, but it took one second to realize how anxious you sounded.

She jumped out of bed and rushed to put some clothes on that would allow her to enter the club, knowing that she wouldn't be allowed if she tried to enter with her pyjamas on.

Alexia had told you to wait for her in the bathroom, and when you saw her, everything made sense.

You rushed to hug her.

A tight but comforting hug.

Her scent made sense.

Her touch made sense.

Her reassuring voice made sense.

“I'm here. You're safe.”

She touched the area of your arm that was touched by that man before, and you knew that you couldn't change who you were, because to you, women didn't feel like men when it came to intimacy.

“Can you take me home? I know this doesn't make sense for you but—”

“Don't worry. No need to explain yourself if you don't feel comfortable. Just tell me if someone has done anything to you.”

“No.”

-

Your friends approached you when they spotted you leaving.

You told them you were leaving with a woman you met the other day, and just that little step made you feel like your truest self. 

You were not leaving with any man, but with a woman, as a woman yourself.

-

Alexia was very attentive and caring.

She gave you everything you needed and even slept in her sofa so you could have her bed all to yourself.

You woke up at five.

The room was still dark, and you craved Alexia filling the empty space of her bed.

You got up and went to the living room.

You saw her peacefully sleeping, and you knew with certainty that that's something you'd love to witness every day. 

You calmly woke her up, and asked her if you could sleep there with her.

Alexia made space for you to join her sofa, and when you noticed your back accommodating perfectly to her chest, as she caressed your body and shushed you, you got very emotional.

Thankfully, Alexia didn't notice.

You were not in the mood to have that conversation, but still Alexia took care of you.

You closed your eyes and let yourself fall asleep, protected by the arms of a woman that was still a stranger but who didn't hesitate to come to your rescue.

And that was enough for you to start your path towards accepting yourself as a lesbian.

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

Mess in Chat >w^

This is an entry for the Sweet Shroud Summer 2024 event held by the lovely @cloudcountry

Content; Gender-neutral reader, fluff, some swearing here and there

Word Count; 1.8 K

Please do not put my work into AI. If you would like to see more of my work check out my masterlist!

Summer was back in full force. Even from within the cold walls and highly air-conditioned hallways of S.T.Y.X. Idia was overheating. He didn’t even have Ortho, since he was powered down to prevent his system from overheating — they both learned that lesson last summer and neither of them were happy not to have the other for three days while Idia was trying to fix him up. So, he was busy typing away at his computer, switching between his actual tasks and the multitude of open tabs that he had open.

Finishing up on reading one of what seemed to be a never-ending pile of reports, Idia took a look at his messages, Mess in Chat >w^ — getting a small smile from the little winky face — and saw that there was a new message … from an hour ago.

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess I’m melting I’ve melted I’m a pool of goop on the floor

Idia tapped his fingers on his keyboard, trying to think of something to say. While he wouldn’t say the two of you were overly friendly, you also weren’t acquaintances. Idia knows that you’re trying to be his friend — dear Sevens, Ortho was so happy when he saw Idia smile at his phone when you messaged him — but it’s hard with being online. 

Would he actually ask to meet in real life? Oh Sevens no! You, the self proclaimed ‘mess’ (Idia wouldn’t even say that you were a mess, just well-meaning and a bit awkward at times) low keyed scared him. Well not actually scare him, but he didn’t want to get too close only for the friendship to blow up in his face.

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess AHA! I CAN SEE THAT YOU’RE ONLINE!

Idia sighed, the jig was up.

Gloomurai I thought you melted into goop Goop can’t type

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess I’ve regained my non-goop form to bug you I’M BOREDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Gloomurai … F

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess DON’T PUT AN F IN THE CHAT WHAT THE HELL … eugh… dying of heatstroke Tell my cat that I love him…. X-X

Idia coughed out a small laugh. He doubted you were as melodramatic IRL as you were online, but it made the monotony of his day — especially now that he didn’t even have the excuse of classes to break it up — a bit better.

Gloomurai You shall be missed CAT CAT PIC PLEASE CAT PIC IN THESE TRYING TIMES

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess … my phone doesn’t have a camera … And he’s on top of the fridge complaining about the heat

Idia sighed, remembering that besides having a laptop for classes, that was the best tech that you had. He remembers you complaining about your lack of funds and your employer. How you managed to balance your job and schooling at the same time baffled and, as you two got closer, worried him.

Gloomurai You really need a better phone

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess I’M A BROKE STUDENT I’M TRYING MY BEST I EVEN HAVE A SECOND JOB

Gloomurai So you’re not only dying of heatstroke but also overworking yourself? F … what’s your second job?

‘WHAT AM I THINKING?! I DON’T KNOW THEM LIKE THAT-’

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess … swan boats …

Gloomurai … swan boats?

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess Swan boats.  Even have a silly uniform and everything The pay is decent though, and I only work weekends UNLIKE MY OTHER JOB-

“We’re going to see them, right?” Ortho asked, making Idia jump.

“OrThO-” Idia squeaked, switching tabs at the speed of light, and clearing his throat. “... no”

Ortho looked at Idia, who was smiling a minute ago and was now back to being jumpy. “But-” he paused, looking between the screen and his brother. He knew who Friendly Neighbourhood Mess was — hard not to when you can see the entirety of Night Raven’s search history — but he also knew his brother. “Just know that they enjoy having you as a friend.”

Idia looked back to his screen, knowing you were going on a tirade about your first boss. “They enjoy having Gloomurai as a friend,” he sighed, shaking his head. “Besides,” he looked back at Ortho,”it would be weird for me to just show up.”

“Not if they invite you.~” Ortho chirped, going back to his room since he could feel his systems starting to overheat again. “They’re your friend online… so why not in person too?”

Idia opened up your tab again, and sure enough, you were on a full blown tirade.

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess I SHOULD REPORT HIS ASS BUT THEN I WON’T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE- OH WHEN I GRADUATE HIS ASS IS GRASS I TELL YOU-

Gloomurai I’ll bring you one of those lawnmowers you drive

Friendly Neighbour Mess *sniffles* You’re a true friend

Gloomurai So, about your other job…

‘Come on, think of a believable excuse so you don’t look like a loser. THINK! COME ON BRAIN! BE SMART!’

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess Wait Idea

Idia felt his hair warming, but patted it. ‘Get a hold of yourself, it’s just the word idea for Sevens sake!’

I take you for a spin on one of those death traps

Gloomurai I- DEATH TRAPS? NEVERMIND

Friendly Neighbourhood Mess Too late >w^ See you Saturday!

Idia stared at his screen for a bit, processing everything. You had invited him to your work. He was going to meet you IRL. He was going to get in a swan boat, like the one you see in cheesy otome cutscenes and animes, and they were, apparently, death traps.

… why was he excited about it then?

…

…

You were at work, giving your best customer service smile and voice to the kids, families, and couples that came up through the line. “Remember folks to keep on your life jackets at all times, and to keep your arms and legs inside the boat at all times! Enjoy your ride!~”

While yes, you did have to wear an all-white uniform complete with a baseball cap with swan wings, it wasn’t half bad. 

The lunch room was always packed with good food, cold drinks, and the comfiest couch you have ever had the pleasure of plopping down into. Sure, it was a bit embarrassing — Ace had nearly laughed his ass off when he saw you in your get up and the fakely sweet smile you gave him — but it was only for this summer, and only for the weekends. Besides, it was cushy and most importantly, not putting your life into peril every five to seven business days when compared to the job that Crowley had given you.

You were already getting into your little monologue that you’re used to saying to customers when you faltered. “Enjoy your- Idia?” You blinked, surprised to see him. You barely got to see him at school, so seeing him here of all places was a shock to put it lightly.

Idia was fidgeting with the zipper of his life jacket and jumped when you said his name. ‘Y/N? The Ramshackle prefect-’ “... hi?”

“Hi,” you say back. “Umm, sorry, but there has to be two people to a boat,” you say sheepishly.

Idia jumps a bit and accidentally zips some of his hair in the zipper. “I was waiting for a friend…” he mutters, “they, uh, work here?”

You pause and your eyes widen. “YOU!”

“Me?!” Idia blinked rapidly. “Wait, you?!” Idia put the pieces together.

The lamenting about your first job. The complaints about your cat stealing your food. The silly uniform for your second job — which is silly, but you make it work. And the way you spoke online matched how you spoke with your IRL friends.

“You’re Friendly Neighbourhood Mess-”

“You’re Gloomurai!”

You both say it at the same time. You offer him a bright smile before saying something quietly into your walkie-talkie and putting on a bright yellow life jacket.

“Well,” you chuckle, “good thing you have a friend that’s willing to get on one of these death traps with you then!”

Idia let you take the lead before stumbling into the boat. “You probably shouldn’t call these ‘death traps’ since you work here,” he offered lightly.

You helped stabilize him since he was struggling to stand due to the light waves. “Well, they are, my land-loving friend.”

Idia sat down quickly, trying not to get flustered by the skin contact but failing. “Then I p-probably shouldn’t be on here, should I?”

“Nope,” you popped the p at the end and started moving the boat with the hand pedals. “But it takes two people to move these things.”

Idia started pedalling with you, and despite his fears of you wanting to make idle small talk, you didn’t. Instead, you pointed out some favourite spots and allowed him to contribute to the conversation at his own pace. Even though it idled here and there, it wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable.

When you sailed (can it even be called sailing when it’s a swan boat?) under the canopy of a weeping willow, you spoke again. “So, why did you agree to meet me? Let alone in one of these?”

Idia looked at you again, the dappled lighting blocking out the heat of the sun, yet he felt warmer now than before. “I don’t know, just,” he breathed in, centring himself, “I guess I wanted to spend time with a friend.” He smiled then, it was a small thing, but it was genuine. “Also,” he coughed, “you lied about the death trap part about this whole thing.”

You laughed, shaking the boat a little. “Oh it is, if not physically, then, reputation-wise. Death to social life via swan boat.”

Idia snorted. ‘Well, good thing that I don’t … didn’t have one then.’ “Good thing there’s someone who knows what they’re doing then… you do know what you’re doing, right?”

You shrugged, “I have a certificate if that eases your mind a bit.”

And the two of you continued paddling away, chatting here and there before heading back to the dock where a few of your coworkers gave the both of you thumbs-ups and winks. Idia felt himself go warm, whereas you rolled your eyes at them before helping Idia out.

“If you don’t mind, want to do this again?” You asked, undoing your lifejacket, looking expectantly towards him.

Idia fumbled with his own before you helped him out. “... that would be fun,” he smiled.

You smiled back, patted him on the shoulder as he walked away, and went back to greeting customers again.

Idia was happy about how today went, even though he would wake up a lovely shade of lobster red tomorrow and a very curious Ortho, but for the first time in a while, he was looking forward to summer vacation, and having some of it be outside of his computer screen. And, most importantly, have a friend that he didn’t feel like he had to be someone else with.

~~~~~~~

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[teaboot]

Hi

I have a question for u

It is maybe a very cliché question but I am sincerely looking for the answer because it feels like most other people know it and just I don’t understand

So here we go: what differentiates love from friendship?

I can recognize friendship. All explanations given to me what others told me makes the distinction to loving someone (romantically?) didn’t make sense to me mostly because it always included some people that fall into the definition of friends

So yeah.. I’m having difficulty with relationships (apparently)

Thank u for ur thought! Ur blog always brings me happiness!

I hope u have a wonderful day with some quiet time to watch the fluffy creature

-🥬

Personal opinion?

Friendship is love. Love is friendship. Kissing is friendship and holding hands is love. Sex is friendship and washing laundry is love.

I've had crushes on people I'd never want to date. I have friends I'd be comfortable kissing. I don't think I've ever been attracted to sexually, but there are people I think are beautiful who make my heart race. I don't know if I've ever felt romantic attraction, but there are people I want to spend my life with, and others I'd rather admire from a distance, and others I want nothing to do with.

I think that honestly, really, words like "Husband", "Wife", "Partner", "Friend", "Queerplatonic", "Soulmates", "Life Partner"... I think they're useful tools to describe specific experiences, more than they are rigid boxes to sort and divide our experiences into.

I'm not sure if I understand tge difference between platonic affection, aesthetic attraction, romance, and friendship, but I find my best relationships so far have been, "We like being around each other, and we work together to find what kind of intimacy we want from each other".

Sometimes that intimacy is physical, like kissing or sparring. Sometimes it's emotional, like sharing feelings. Sometimes it's just good, quiet company, or doing things together.

I can't speak for your own experiences, but in mine, idk. Just kinda letting things happen.

(It is hard when you feel lonely, though, and don't know how to describe to most of the world what it is you want.)

Long post, but uh. Same boat, I suppose?

afraid I don't have a better answer right now, but if anyone else figures it out, I'd love to know.

Thanks for the ask, and I hope you're having a great day too!! ♡

[buckys-wintersoldier]

Just a little bit where Bucky would give you everything you want.

Pairing -> Sugar!Daddy!Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x SugarBaby!Girlfriend!Reader

Warnings -> 18+, Minors DNI, smut, fingering, talking about sugar daddy

A/N -> @lanabuckybarnes because you liked it so yeah.😂😂

“Anything you want, doll? You know I can buy you whatever you want,” Bucky grins at you, his hand gently placed on your lower back. You turn your head toward him, smirking when you nod.

When you first met him, you never thought they the relationship between you two could be that perfect. Bucky picked you up when you had nothing, no money, shit job and apartment — when you were broken after your last boyfriend. He took you home with him, gave you food, a bed, clothes, everything you ever dreamed of. And it slowly went from strangers into friends and he offered you to be your sugar daddy.

First you wasn’t sure about it, but he said he isn’t looking for sex unless you want it to. He wants some company during his dinners with co-workers or just someone who watched movies with him or plays games, nothing much and you could get everything you want.

So you said yes, and Bucky learned to read you like a book, you didn’t even need to say anything and he already knew what you would like to have. You never asked for much, and even though Bucky assured you that you can have everything, you didn’t need more.

With every passing day you both came closer, the movie nights were more often, the cuddles more intimate and the talks more serious. You forgot about every shit you went through because of your ex-boyfriend.

Bucky made you smile in the highs and the lows and that never changed, not even know, not even right now when you were walking along the aisle, never! He loves you and he care about you, knowing every feeling you have just from looking into your eyes and you can do the same.

“I would love to spent the night with you, just with you, on the sea. Just we and the stars, the moon and nothing else,” you admit and Bucky chuckles softly. He thought you would ask for something expensive, but you never did, that’s probably the reason he fell for you.

Of course you asked him to get things which would cost some money, but you appreciated the time with him, and the moments when you’re just going for a walk or being on the boat on the sea so much more than everything he could buy you.

“Everything you want, pretty girl.” Bucky wraps his arms tightly around your waist, pulling you flat against his muscular front and inhaling your sweet scent. He then kisses along your neck, smirking when you giggle and squirm softly in his embrace. “Everything! I love you, so much.

“I love you too, and being with you is everything I can only dream of,” you say back, letting your head fall against his shoulder.

“Luckily it’s not just a dream. And I can show you that’s definitely not a dream,” he says, his hand sliding down your front and into your panties, causing you to moan when his fingers slide thought your already wet folds. “So perfect, already so wet and ready for me, doll.”

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[safely-in-vhagars-belly]

The Heart is an Ocean (Dark!Aemond x reader/oc (titanic au!) PART 2

Darkish aemond x reader/oc (?) (TITANIC THEMED!)

Cool devider credits: its uhm me.

Tags: Au Aemond, criminal Aemond, angst and hurt titanic au aemond x oc aemond x you aemond x

🔷Summary: You attend the ship of dreams, the Balerion in hope of finding your match to enrichen your family. But fate is cruel for those who dream. And the Balerion might not even reach the harbor of Valyria.

🔷Author's note: ''WILL THIS BE THE MOVIE REWRITTEN'' ASHSHSHDH I WISH! NO, its so not the movie. I was planning on naming the ship ''Titanic'' but I could not do that, it felt so icky. Big fan of the movie, big fan of books, the boat in general, and big nerd of it all. I went with a copy of the boat, and named it the Balerion. The route was original from Belfast to America i think but it will be from Crownlands to Valyria.

🔷Wordcount:5000

Warnings can be found under here

🔷Warnings: blood, arranged marriages, smoking, cocaine, illegal drugsdealing, eventually...you know, and murder. (the you know refers to the well-known fate of the boat) Classism, violence (not aimed at OC) and darkish criminal ruthless aemond.

TAGLIST: @namelesslosers

The morning after the ship had set sail, you finally awoke after a terrible night of sleep. The bed had been new, unused before and comfortable but it did not meet your standards, you told yourself so at least. Anything to avoid the truth: You had nightmares that kept you awake. Worries and concerns.

Your father had died this year, and now you had to find a new husband to ensure your family’s fortune. Your mother had no regard or respect for age. It wouldn’t have married if she could marry you to a rich walking skeleton, she would have done it. 

Your maid, Esera arrived earlier that day, her face distraught as she greeted you with a curtsy. You smiled. Yes, the two of you were friends. But it was nice that someone, anyone, at least pretended you still mattered. That you still had some renown and worth. That you weren’t destined to fail, doomed to sink.

You allowed yourself to be bathed, dressed in a fine new silk gown and let her brush your hair. All while she kept looking as if someone had just stepped on her toes. ‘’You look more miserable than I feel,’’ You commented, sharp as a knife with a catish sly grin on your face. ‘’If it’s juicy gossip, you must share it with me.’’ 

Esera finally put down the brush after combing the same locks for ten long wasteful minutes. She nodded. You were never good at remembering and reading faces, but her spoke to you as a book. Whatever had happened, it was serious. You quickly gestured to the side of your bed, that she had made just earlier for you. You did not want her to faint. Thankful, she sat down.

‘’M’lady, it is such awful news.’’ She said, You nodded, already impatient to hear the truth and whatever scandal had unfolded among the passengers. She took a deep breath and when you read her eyes, even you, someone who has such difficulty reading people, could tell she was terrified. ‘’There is someone missing. A servant.’’ She announced. 

You heard the words back in your head. Missing? How could anyone go missing? Well, it was a large boat but still. ‘’I am not sure what you mean.’’ You said, convinced that it was just a lazy servant taking a nap somewhere he was not allowed to be to begin with.

She rattled on. ‘’A steward. They said his name was Erryk. Apparently, he never showed up for the morning shifts. His brother is inconsolable. He has a job below deck, he does something with the coal.’’ He likely made sure that the Balerion kept going steadily, picking up its ridiculous speed as the ship sailed around the seas.

You watched as Esera started pulling her nails, the color drained from her face. ‘’I am just so horrified, m’lady. And I already fear boats.’’ She sniffed. You couldn’t help but look around, unknown of what to do as your servant wept.  You patted her back once, twice, and after that, you gave up. 

Boats didn’t scare you. But the Balerion did. It was so massive, so huge, so endless without end or beginning that your brain didn’t know how to wrap itself around it. The idea that you were one step away from becoming a shark meal didn’t help either.

You removed some tears from your dress with a napkin, and sat back down in front of the vanity. You opened the drawer and fished out your favorite perfume. You applied a heavy amount of it, hoping to haunt whoever would come close to you for the rest of this day. ‘’Well, what can we do about it? The Balerion is a massive boat.’’ You weren’t going to make this a you-problem. You had enough you-problems.

Esera nodded. You had just put your perfume down, as the door of your cabin slammed open and your mother threw herself into the entrance, running at you with an impressive speed that both surprised you and terrified you.  ‘’My dear darling!’’ She giggled with delight. Until she saw your servant, sitting on your bed linen. She only had to click her fingers, and Esera left your room, looking possibly even worse than before. 

You raised a brow at your mother. ‘’Do what do I owe the pleasure?’’ Truth was, she was your mother and Lady Waters still. She paid for your cabin. But you don’t appreciate people entering without knocking. It is what separates the men from the animals, in your honest opinion.

She waved a paper in your face. Quite rude. You snatched it out of her hands, reading the paper with disinterest. It had the colors of the Velyaron line, likely an event organized by the ship itself. It was about a social gathering, a ball, happening a few days later. Your mother was like a pitbull. If she smelled an opportunity for you to get a husband, she bit and wouldn’t let go. ‘’I snatched this from the announcement board. There will be a grant ball. All noble ladies are invited, as are the gentlemen. It is the perfect opportunity for you to find a nice, rich husband.’’ She said, cupping your chin into her hands and looking at you as if you were going to solve all her problems. 

You tilted your head, already dreading this ball. ‘’Momma, I am not sure anyone on this ship is even interested in a marriage. I tried yesterday in the café and-’’ You were hushed as your mother sniffled your neck, oblivious to what you told her. Ignoring the truth, as always.

She looked disgusted, wiping away some perfume you had just applied. ‘’Why do you always apply so much perfume? You are a lady, not a whore. Begone with you. I must try to find a way to get you a gown for the ball.’’ She told you, ushering you out of your own rooms. 

‘’The red one?’’ It was your favorite one with red shiny stones. You looked amazing in it, and it was the gown you last wore when your father was still alive. A true precious gown, as silly as it may be.

Your mother shook her head. ‘’We sold the red one, dear.’’

You turned your head so fast, you were afraid that it would snap and roll off from your neck, to glare at her. You didn’t know that. She likely did it when you were packing for this horrendous journey on the seven hellish seas. ‘’It had to be done, Cristella! You aren’t married yet, which means more and more of our precious heirlooms will end up by some dirty peasant.’’ The local pawn shops, she meant. The idea that some peasant was now walking around in your gorgeous Visenya Dalararis gown, it hurted you. Deeply. 

You huffed, slamming the door behind you as you left your cabin. You could not give a rat’s ass about being a proper lady. At that moment, you didn’t want to care. But you still did. You cared. And you cared too much about that. Finding a husband was not an easy task. Tales of your fall to ruin had spread far and wide and the only men that would be interested in you, were likely living under a rock, or that old that their memory was failing them.

You had not your own life to think about. You had two sisters, and a mother, all depending on you to find a rich husband. You never thought you would be responsible for so many people, and you never knew how crushing the weight of being the carebringe was. It was enough to make you feel like you were sinking, alone at sea in the dark.

Your breath caught in your lungs, as you tried to make sense of a terrible situation. Either you would marry some fossil that was old enough to witness the first men come to Westeros, or you will fail and condemn your family to a life on the streets. You know your family. You would not make for good beggars. You would all starve, freeze, die. 

You would like to cry. You did force yourself, to let the tears come out. But stopped as you realized, no one cared about your tears anymore. Any gentleman knew of the bankruptcy. The only thing you had then, was your beauty. Your grace. And your pride. A single tear rolled down your left cheek, drawing the pattern of a splatter paint drop. They could take your money. And your dresses. But they could never take away your pride.

You gathered the courage, wiped at your cheek the tear with your gloves, and left your cabin to enter the one belonging to your sisters. As usual, Maelys was still in bed at this hour, glaring at you as she was reading a book. ‘’Good morning, sister.’’ She said, and you could hear she was not that pleased to see you. You greeted her with an uninterested wave.

Your other sister, Dysera was already up and dressed, smiling patiently at you, her gloved hands folded neatly in her lap. You weren’t good at reading people, but you knew Dy as your own pocket. Maybe because you two were much alike. And you knew at that moment, she was looking for trouble. Dismissive, you went to grab your coin purse. ‘’Where are you going?’’ She asked, her voice surprisingly light and eager.

You didn’t know where you were going, both in life and on the ship. Her question made you realize that and made you lash out. ‘’to have breakfast.’’ You told her and it was the truth. You were planning on getting a nice warm toasted loaf of bread and a baked egg for you, and you alone. Just eating in silence as the toast melted on your tongue, oh, the delight. No sisters were part of this fantasy and you intended to keep it that way. 

But your sister jumped at the idea of leaving the hellish cabin and you could not blame her for it. Well, maybe a little. ‘’I am coming with you!’ She said, delighted. You frowned. That was not the plan. ‘’Maybe I’ll find a husband there, before you do.’’ She started and laughed, but it hurt you that she dared to even say that. 

‘’Maybe you won’t,’’ you stepped closer and smiled, hiding your anger behind your catty smile and your beautiful eyelids. ‘’I heard men like women who can offer something. If they simply wanted comfort, they’d take a whore or a pet. Now, scurry off.’’ And that hurted her. She would never inherit anything. You would. You watched as her eyes filled with tears. 

You sighed as you walked away, leaving the cabin. You passed the sign. 192B. A insult. The B deck was all they could afford. A shame, truly. in more ways than one. You had enough of the day and it had just started. You needed a smoke, a drink, perhaps both at the same time. You laughed quietly in yourself as you left the deck, entering the main deck, where gentlemen and ladies alike were conversing, strolling and just enjoying the calm weather.

You decided to go to another café than the one your mother had rented for your speeddates. This one was called the Octopus and had a ugly sign outside of it, but you were hungry and too lazy to go look anywhere else. You sat down at a table and ordered your meal, waiting impatiently as the servants rushed around you, serving meals and taking orders from other customers.

You were tested. Some of these ‘’customers’’  didn’t even seem…Well, they sure smelled like they should be eating two decks below. Or not aboard a boat at all, truly. But in the docks. In a dark alley. They didn’t wear fancy gowns, suits with hats befitting the latest fashion, they smelled as if they hadn’t washed in centuries and had the manners of a barn animal. In truth it was all terribly unsetting and upsetting.

The staff did give you a glass of champagne prior, thank the seven gods. You had not much happening as a girl in a dark red coloured dress approached with lace covering her shoulders. Eyes turned as she entered, and you had to admit, that included yourself. She had white, gorgeous classic Valyrian hair, styled in a beautiful knot that clearly was defying gravity on its own. You were impressed.

Until you saw the hatred in her eyes when she finally found you sitting at the table. You ignored her at first, as any sane woman would. Whatever she had going on, it was not going to become your problem.

You waited for your pancakes, becoming more impatient and hungry as every moment passed. ‘’I was hoping I’d see you today.’’ You looked around, to see who had the audacity to attempt to make conversation while you were starving, angry, tired and seasick.

The girl stood in front of you, arms crossed like she had accomplished something. She had in fact, not accomplished anything. You were not impressed. You actually felt sorry for her. Whoever her parents were, they raised a true brat. ‘’And you are?’’ You asked, hiding a laugh.

She laughed as well but hers was fake and insincere.‘’Perhaps you know my sister. Beautiful, gorgeous, rich.’’ It all came back to you. That Baela girl that stole your man and insulted you. Yet you pretended you didn't know, just to get her angry. You pretend to think, sipping your champagne glass.

While you were sipping champagne, you faked a gasp, quickly putting your glass down and looked at the girl. ‘’Does she have an ego the size of Westeros and Essos combined and does she smell of desperation?” You sat down, your face calm and a cold mask as you grinned at the girl’s furious face. ‘’How lovely that your sister felt so scared that she sent you to find me.’’

The girl scoffed, laughing to avoid the fact that you did hurt her feelings. You saw through her as if she was made of glass, however. ‘’I assume you know who I am?’’ That was a bold statement. It took you five years to learn the name of your own handmaid. How in the seven hells were you supposed to know the name of any random passenger on this boat?

And aside that, you also…Well, you didn’t care. ‘’I am sorry, if I knew the name of every second class passenger, my head would explode.’’ You commented, sipping from your champagne when watching her become more and more furious. 

The woman gathered her courage, and her strength. ‘’I am Lady Rhaena Targaryen.’’ Ah. Your thoughts were whisked away to a wicked smile on pink soft lips, lips belonging to a certain smoking gentleman. His smile captivated you as you noticed your lips breaking into a smirk. Mr Targaryen did not seem to even be remotely like her. 

‘’And now the part where I am supposed to care who you are?’’ You rang out, dryly as you downed your entire glass in frustration. A targaryen girl, so stunning, so fierce, that was going to be a problem. She would steal all eligible bachelors from you, bleed them dry and have them ruined. You could not afford that. 

The girl leaned in and when she attempted to whisper something of a threat in your ear. ‘’You think you have won this, little Bastard. But you are not even close to tasting victory. Men want class, riches and fame. Your dowry is good enough to maybe buy cup of coffee.’’ She finished brutally. It got under your skin. It did. Because you knew, she was right. You waited for the waiter to bring you and Rhaena two fresh glasses of champagne, and accidentally emptied yours over her head. Furious and fuming, you left the cafe.

You had to get out of there. Fresh tears threatened to fall. To ruin everything you worked so hard for.

A voice called out to you, surprising you. ‘’Miss Waters!’’

Aemond Targaryen had followed you. He looked as handsome as ever, wearing a a suit unlike most of the gentlemen. He also had a plate of pancakes in his hands, offering it to you with an apologetic gentle smile. ‘’Pardon me, but you had forgotten your order.’’ You were amused, raising your brows at him.

‘’Is this how you hope to earn your money to provide for a wife, Mr Targaryen? 'By playing waiter?’’ It was a coy tease as brief as a wink. He took it well, smiling despite your insult.

‘’Why, I never would. Rest assured, my future wife can buy all the Seven Kingdoms and I still would be rich.’’ He was bragging, trying to impress you. You faked a subtle smile, keeping your eyes on him at all cost as you took a small elegant bite of the pancake he had brought you.

You brought your fingers to your chin, cleaning the corners of your mouth as Aemond watched, breathless. ‘’I believe we discussed what I thought of Cocky men.’’ You reminded him of that for your own sake.

Aemond gestured to the brim of the ship, inviting you over to watch the waves. You followed, but kept appropriate distance. ‘’This boat is ridiculous. Do the Velyarons need to compensate for something?’’ You remarked.

To your surprise, he laughed, briefly smirking too. ‘’I assure you, they do. I heard Lord Daemon and Lady Laena no longer share a room.’’ You loved scandalous gossip. And you loved that this was about the Mother of lady Baela. Seems that her parents aren’t as perfect as she pretends to be either.

You know Daemon is a known rag, often preferring to lay with younger ladies and that his bed has seen more women on it than a whorehouse. ‘’Why, whatever could be the reason?’’ You asked, your voice soft and innocent. Aemond tilted his head, his tongue briefly licking his lips clearly somewhere else.

He shook his head, his silver hair danced. ‘’But it is not appropriate for me, to discuss such vile rumors with a proper lady.’’ He said, reminding himself of his duties. He even stepped back to create more distance. And you found yourself stepping closer to him, almost dreading to be separated, drawn to him by a force beyond your understanding.

You sweetly lowered your eyes, your lips pouting. ‘’You are such a tease, Mr Targaryen.’’ But two could play that game. You would show him. ‘’May I ask you to accompany me to the better decks? I seem to have forgotten where my room is.’’ You replied, hooking your arms into his own. He seemed to smirk as you two strolled over the deck, and Aemond received a lot of angry, jealous glares. 

‘’So, tell me more about the drama.’’ You whispered in his ear as the two of you finally had found some shade under a big parasol. Aemond laughed and it sounded forced for a brief moment. 

You needed the information to make the campaign for Baela, Rhaena and possibly Laena impossible. They could not find a husband. Well, at least, not before you. ‘’Laena kicked Daemon out of their cabin. He was found in bed with another married woman, who was recently widowed.’’ Aemond tells you, his voice a seductive hushed whisper.

You covered your mouth with your free hand, faking disgust as you were possibly overjoyed. ‘’My!” You gasped, but you were delighted. ‘’Such vile things indeed.’’ He nodded.

Aemond nodded, agreeing with you, his disgust clearly readable from his face. He did not like Daemon. You could tell. ‘’I should not have told you. Now I have soiled your ears, dirtied your mind.’’ He was scolding himself.

You huffed, insulted at this. You were not a child. ‘’I assure you, I am quite capable of vile things myself.’’ You said, as you two made your way to the deck. You walked past the cafe, and multiple people including Rhaena took notice of you on the arm of Aemond Targaryen. You waved, smiling sweetly through the window as Rhaena almost choked on her drink, her sister Baela looked just as miserable.

To that, Aemond let out a delighted sigh. ‘’I shall spare no details. Daemon was found with not one, not two, but three whores in his bed.’’ That confused you. One whore had to be enough, surely.

You looked puzzled and Aemond knew, which is why he grinned, smirking brightly. ‘’Why does a man need three whores?’’ You asked, voicing your confusion. That sounded expensive too.

Aemond leaned in a little closer, his breath hot in your neck as he whispered. ‘’Maybe to watch them play with one another?’’ He suggested, and you wondered quietly, briefly, for a mere moment, if Aemond would like the same. If he too, had vile thoughts. You quickly shook off those thoughts, scolding yourself for even having them.

You know Aemond meant the act. Yet you want to tease and know more. ‘’Play, what? Cards?’’ You asked, with an innocent smirk. Aemond opened and closed his mouth, reading you very well.

He grinned. ‘’Who is a tease again? You know much more than you pretend to know, Miss Waters.’’

You shrugged, and when you both were alone in a hallway on the deck, you briefly smiled at him, surprising him. ‘’I never said I didn’t, Mr Targaryen.’’ You waited for Aemond to walk around the corner, before you trapped him against the walls of the ship.

Aemond let out a surprised shriek, eying you with much desire and want as you held him into place. You were relieved there were no witnesses. You caressed his chest, searching for his cigarettes already. He acted fast, grabbing your hand and pinning you against the walls instead, smirking as he leaned in closer.

He cupped your chin with his fingers, grinning as you went speechless. ‘’You still owe me for the first one you stole.’’ He said, a smirk dancing on his lips. This man.

You ignored the butterflies in your stomach, as well as your own arousal. ‘’What will you do about that?’’ You asked, trying to sound careless and fearless.

But he could read you all too well, and smirked, bringing his lips closer to your own. ‘’I don’t know. You must be held accountable.’’ He said, as if he was thinking deeply. ‘’Yes, a nice punishment will do.’’ Punishment? You scoffed.

‘’Will you put me on your knee and spank me?’’ You asked, in anger. 

His answer surprised and shocked you. He simply leaned in closer, brushing with his nose against your own and touched your lips with his fingers. ‘’Maybe one day.’’ He whispered and you felt as if he made you and himself a promise.

You were speechless. ‘’For now, a nice evening out will do. I shall pay for dinner and we can talk about our mutual hate for the Velyaron family. How does that sound?’’ You could not be seen with another man. Not going out with him, at least.

‘’Mr Targaryen-’’ You started but Aemond silenced you by firmly putting you back against the wall, smirking as you briefly whimpered softly.

He whispered softly. ‘’Men want what other men have. Seeing you on my arm, it makes them wild. Just say yes, Love. What else do you have to do anyway?’’ He asked. 

‘’I,’’ You stuttered, shocked at the audacity and the brutality. How dare he? And yet, you liked it.

‘’Excellent.’’ Was all Aemond said, taking distance and folding his hands on his back. He gave a respectful bow but his smirk did not match that all. ‘’I shall pick you up, 8 o’clock sharp. And I will have something sent over to your cabin, you may wear it, if you like it.’’ He smirked, leaving you alone with your thoughts and your heart racing.

—

Aemond sat that afternoon, in his own cabin. He had placed his leather boots on the salontable, smoking a cigarette after escorting the Waters girl home. He pictured her shocked and flustered face when he offered to take her out again. Nothing came close to seeing that uncertainty. The same uncertainty he faced for years. It was justice. She starved him. He would only take revenge. It was fair. Needed, in a way.

Cregan finally entered the cabin, bringing a neat suit for Aemond. Aemond sized it up, inspecting it for any wrongs. ‘’You did well, picking this one. Miss Waters is a very picky bee.’’ He confided in his best friend. ‘’If as much as a single stitch is out of order, I may never hold her hand again.’’ He made his voice a soft dramatic whimper. Cregan laughed, and soon, Aemond joined.

‘’As if she even has a choice, soon.’’ Aemond commented. ‘’Once the Captain’s Ball takes place, I put her in a scandal, and she’ll have no choice but to consent to marry  me.’’ It was the perfect plan. He just had to act kind until the scandal. He wasn’t sure what scandal he would pull just yet. He would not force himself upon her. No, never. So, that meant, another, but maybe just as brutal and heartbreaking way to end her social society status. To take home the Queen and clear out the board, once and for all.

A rough, but eager voice ran out as Criston ran into the cabin, surprising Aemond. ‘’We might have a problem.’’ Criston said, and to Aemond’s displeasure, the man was covered in blood. Aemond raised a brow, removing both his boots from the table and jumped to his feet. What could have happened?

Cole smirked. ‘’You need to tie down that brat of yours soon. A man was dancing with her, moments after you had brought her to the cabin.’’ Aemond’s blood boiled. So, she was very well capable of making her way to the cabin alone. She played him. Again.

‘’What man?’’ Aemond responded, sweetly. ‘’And I assume there’s a marvelous reason why you are covered in blood?’’

—-

Aemond had never enjoyed being a killer. He was good at it, yes. But he never took pride or happiness from kills. Unless they were his enemies. Cole had shown Aemond a spare storage room, where the gentleman that had dared to dance with his Queen, was present. Tied up and gagged. The man in question was old, boring and would never statisfy the Waters girl. He knew it.

Aemond lowered his favorite knife against the throat of the man, forcing the man to gulp as he started to draw a thin line, causing blood to jump out of the wound. ‘’Why did you dance with Miss Waters?’’ He asked, his voice a low growl.

‘’She’s a lovely lass.’’ The man responded, as Cole had removed his gag. Aemond shared a brief glance with Cole. That was the weakest excuse he ever heard. Miss Waters was not a lovely lass, no, she was the Stranger reborn, he was certain of it.

‘’Hm,’’ Aemond said, tilting his head with a smile. ‘’You do understand she is bankrupt, yes? All the money she had, is invested in this trip.’’ He informed the man, hoping it would scare him off as a rat in the harbor.

And it did. He seemed utterly shocked at Aemond's words. Furious, even. ‘’She is? But I assumed…’’ Aemond’s interest finally peaked, and he grabbed the man by his hair, hissing in his face.

‘’What did you assume?’’

The man gulped. ‘’Jacaerys Velyaron was heard bragging about her. How he had her in his pocket. I assumed if Jace is interested….’’ The man fell silent once again. Aemond cursed, closing his eyes. Jace was Interested. ''Never mind, I shall focus on another lady instead.'' He promised Aemond.

Aemond scoffed, grinning madly. ''You already touched what belongs to me. You must pay for that.'' He said. ''You touched my Queen. You will die for that.''

The poor man did not intend to die for that, and tried to plead. ''She's of no use to me! You can have her! I am sure if-'' Aemond had heard enough. He grabbed the man by his throat, drove a knife into his stomach for a slow, painful dead and simply pulled the knife in, and out, watching flesh and blood pour out of the wound which each sweet pull. He imagined the reaction if Miss Waters was here to watch him.  

Soon, she too would be on her knees. As would the entire world. It would all be his for the taking. As it always should have been. Miss Waters was his, the world was his, and nothing would stand in his way. ‘’Make sure this mess gets cleaned up. And we need to think of a possible emergency plan for my new wife.’’ Aemond ordered his men. He had a lot to think about, and so little time. His wife was waiting for him soon, and he needed to charm her.

Cregan began with cutting the corpse loose from the chair. ‘’I mean, you can’t kidnap her, can you?’’ He offered, and it was a solid idea, had this been a novel. It was not a novel. He needed her consent, he needed her on her knees, begging him to marry her. A conquest without war is a boring conquest.

He did consider it, of course. But he does not want to pull that card, not yet. Not when he can make her fall in love with him naturally. ‘’I’ve considered it, but no. She must marry me first.’’ He said, avoiding Cole's judgemental glare. He always said that women were not property.

The Kingmaker began chopping the body into pieces. ‘’So that just means, beating the rich pretty boy and winning her heart first.’’ He summarized, dryly.

Aemond nodded, already feeling that he had failed miserably. ‘’Seems like it. I just don’t understand one thing: What does Jace even want with her?’’ He muttered. ‘’Well, I suppose we need to find out. And quickly. Because I am not letting that bastard get away again.’’

A UPDATE

WOW

eh bye xD

Thank you for reading as always:)

[midnight-in-town]

I remember that one panel from that boat trip of Kuroshitsuji from the twins flashbacks where one of the twins, possibly real Ciel looked quite upset or something when our Ciel was coughing and Rachel said that our Ciel can't go to the boat trip. Could it be that real Ciel was upset about how our Ciel won't be going (but I also remember that Rachel as well didn't want to go that trip & cancel it due to our ciel's sickness & I also remember how real Ciel excitedly went to the trip when it wasn't cancelled finally, so it couldn't be that he was upset about our Ciel being absent right?) so was real Ciel upset about our Ciel being absent or was he just upset because he felt like Our Ciel was being a burden and nuisance for being sick at a time like that (talking about the trip day) again? Thoughts?

Hey Anon ! Do you mean this scene ?

Well, I have an explanation, but I doubt it's what you're expecting. ;)

In my opinion, this scene is actually maybe more understandable if you consider the Munchausen by proxy theory [x][x], on top of the RCMT.

Basically, both theories emphasize that 1) real!Ciel was pathologically obsessed with our!Ciel and wanted him to "stay by his side forever", leading to 2) real!Ciel trying to control our!Ciel, maybe even going as far as to more or less poison him, so that our!Ciel would have to let his twin take care of him, becoming very thankful to him, thus furthering their bond (in real!Ciel's mind).

Want a proof that this theory is likely ? In ch138, Ciel realized, after that one month of abduction and torture, that he didn't get sick at all, despite living in terribly harsh conditions (cold, lack of food, physical and emotional abuse, etc).

And the one big element missing from that awful month compared to their peaceful days at home ? It's real!Ciel "taking care" of him, bringing him tea and food for his health.

Don't get me wrong, with the circus arc, we know that our!Ciel definitely had a weaker constitution that he inherited from Rachel. However, he was also probably chronically poisoned by his older brother on the side, which is why he definitely got better from the moment real!Ciel was not able to bring him food and beverages anymore.

Let's rewind back about that scene you were asking about from ch131, now : Rachel and our!Ciel were sick, so Vincent and real!Ciel, with Diedrich, cooked food for them.

Then later during the night, our!Ciel was couching, so real!Ciel brought him milk.

The following day, our!Ciel's fever was not that bad but his cough was terrible so Rachel forbade him to go boating -> how s w e e t ! more time and occasion for real!Ciel to "take care of his little brother", nurturing that special bond between them, because they're made to be "together forever". Except...

our!Ciel acted selflessly, as it is a great quality of his [x] [x] [x], and insisted the family went to enjoy a day outside, since Rachel was doing okay, while he spent the day with Tanaka.

TL;DR In this scene, I think real!Ciel expected Rachel to say our!Ciel wouldn't be able to go boating, since he's the one who triggered the coughing, leading him to spend the day taking care of his little brother yet again (in other words, controlling him), except that he didn't consider our!Ciel would strongly insist for the family to go without him.

I told you it might not be what you expected as an answer. :) I, for one, am quite convinced that real!Ciel had a pathological behavior since childhood, that is ten times amplified now that he's a bizarre doll.

Have a good day Anon!

[gaiahypothesims]

310

Harris- Hoooly shit man.

Ashley- Kicked in?

Harris- Where the fuck you getting this? I need to know, for science.

Ashley- Here and there, all natural. I don't mess with anything that isn't. OH! I win!

Harris- No fuckin' way.

Jonah- <grumpy> What are you two chuckleheads doing?

Harris- <giggles> Just chillin' man, fuuuck. This guy is good shit.

Ashley- See? I told you! Jonah, didn't I tell you? I have the up-up..ut-utmost.... where was I going with that? Whatever, I'm a cool guy. Where have you been?

Jonah- No where, checking in on the baby. Why are you looking at me like that? What the fuck? Are you both high? I swear to god, Ashley, I will kill you!

Harris- <giggling>

Ashley- No! Not. Not really!! Not like you were that time! Its just a fun little thing. Right Harris? Can I call you Harris? Do you prefer Harry?

Harris- I absolutely don't prefer 'Harry'. Not ever. I'm gonna need a little bit more time on land Jonah. I don't think I trust myself to be on a boat right now. <smirks> Much as Lord hates me, he doesn't want me dead... yet.

Jonah- <boiling anger> Well that's just great isn't it?

Harris- I knew you'd understand!! Good man, good guy, good duuude... dude... duuude. That sounds weird. Does it sound weird to you?

Jonah- <stalks away angrily>

Harris- Oh shit, he mad?

Ashley- I wouldn't worry about it. He's a kitten, a kitty, a little baby tiger. As long as Ev never finds out, we're golden.

Harris- Don't worry buddy, this is between you and me. Uh, I'll need to take some of that back with me.

Ashley- For sure, for sure, fo sho'.... fo sho. The more the merrier. merrier... merrier? Merrier. Hmm.

[blkdaddie]

The Doctor's House Calls

Story tags: PG-13, Fluff, Interracial, Age Gap, Mpreg, Gay Romance

I was raised in the deep south, where family is everything. I’m the youngest of 8, all boys. So when Mama got sick wasn’t no girls to take care of her, and I promised to stay by her side. My brothers were all off starting their own families and businesses and such, and couldn’t send but so much money home. Not enough to get a nurse more than a coupla times a week. So I got a little job doing landscaping for the town; nothing exciting but I get to be outside and got a nice little pension waiting. Rest of the time it was just me and Mama.

When she took a turn our family doctor said I needed to take her to a specialist over in the city, a young buck straight out of school and still wet behind the ears. He didn’t look old enough to tie his own shoes but Mama took to him straight off and wouldn’t see anyone else. It was a long ride back and forth, few times a month. So when her doctor offered to come do a house call I sho nuff said yes. With the price of gas these days and such, it was a blessing. So Dr. Nate - he tol’ me call  him Dr. Nate- started coming up to see Mama on the regular. But each time he came a little earlier and stayed a little later. He was new to the area, said he didn’t know nobody and liked our company. He helped a lot, and getting on almost 60 years old, my bad knees were grateful.  We was so thankful I started inviting him to stay for dinner, and when peach season came I made a cobbler. He said it was the best thing he’d ever eaten and I had some talented hands. Such a silly thing, don’t know why it made my cheeks hot.  

Even still, I never thought ‘bout Dr. Nate coming ‘round so much but Mama started fussing at me to brush my hair and put on a clean shirt before his visits. I was mighty surprised that night I was washing dishes while he got Mama settled and he came right up behind me and kissed my neck! I ‘bout dropped the gravy boat. You see, I been with some of the faster girls in the town when I was younger, but wasn’t  no woman trying to date a man with a momma to take care of round the clock. Figured my romancin' days was behind me.

So I whirled round and said “Now see here, I ain’t no sissy!” And don’t you know that man grinned dead in my face and said “No, you’re all man.” And grabbed me right through my levi’s. Well it had been a while and his hand felt so good, maybe I didn’t protest as much as I should have.  He really took liberties and started kissin’ me but good.  Tasted like peach cobbler. And him being a doctor and all, when he said he wanted to give me an anatomy lesson about the prostate, I was curious. Well we got to having more lessons and next thing you know, I’m getting swole. Sure took me by surprise but Mama said children are a blessing. She passed quietly in her sleep when I was about 4 months gone. Seemed silly rattlin’ around this big old house by myself so Nate moved in, said he don't mind the commute if it means coming home to me.

I been thinkin’ about retirement, been 40 years on the job and it’s getting hard with a big ol’ belly. Nate thinks I should stay home anyhow; he wants at least 4 more kids and we’ll have to do it fast before I’m too old.

Mama said birthin' is a natural as breathin' and ain't no reason for big hospitals so I delivered at home way it's s'posed to be. Nate got a taste of being a country doctor. He did a real good job taking care of me, real good indeed.

He’s aiming for a houseful. It’s what Mama would want.

[aziraphales-library]

Hi! Sorry, don't really know how to request fic recs and I don't know if y'all have responded to any specific requests like this before (probably have and I just can't find it) but do y'all have any recs for fics that center around (a) flashback(s) or just historical moment(s) with Az and Crow? Specifically Rome, 1940's, or 1650's with piracy (gotta love OFMD brainrot)? I would prefer fluff but won't say no to some angst as well, just maybe not completely smut since I tend to skim that. That's all then, have a great day!

You'll want to check our #through the ages tag. Here are some Rome, 1941, and pirate fics to add...

the stars are aglow / and tonight how their light sets me dreaming by pearl_in_the_nebula (G)

Post-canon 1941 scene. Aziraphale has some modern music to show Crowley.

like the sun, softly I take you into my arms by Milky_Etoile (G)

It was nearing the end of their celebratory lunch at the Ritz when Aziraphale realizes Crowley's silence. It becomes clear to him that it's due to exhaustion over the events of the averted Apocalypse. He tries to suggest resting, but Crowley's unwilling after their escaped executions. It would take more time and effort to get Crowley to relax, but those were things Aziraphale was more than willing to give for his dearest demon. or In which Aziraphale coaxes Crowley into resting with wine, a shared couch, and a foot massage. Somehow, Aziraphale ends up even more smitten.

The Kiss That Was No Oyster’s Fault by SeedsOfWinter (T)

All the taverns in all the cities in all of Creation, and the demon slithered into Aziraphale’s. There was no mistaking Crowley. All mourning black wrapped and hellfire haired, slouching towards inebriation, there could be no other. There never would be. (Or, What if Aziraphale and Crowley throughout the ages, but a first kiss of some kind always happens? In Rome, Aziraphale and Crowley have time on their hands and oysters on their plates...)

Demons of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Golden Angel by CaspianTheGeek (T)

All Crowley wanted was a carefree jaunt at sea with his pirate beloved, but the powers of Heaven and Hell have other plans... starting by cursing his ship! When Duke Hastur steals the Golden Angel and declares himself captain, Crowley's plans to reverse the curse are put in peril. He needs to get the vessel back so he can go home to Aziraphale, but he can't take on the crew of the damned by himself. With the Caribbean seas filled with enemies, angelic and demonic alike, he'll need to sail carefully to avoid capture, or worse: the truth coming out. Luckily, this is also the story of two unlikely human allies, descendants of Agnes Nutter and of the witchfinder general she exploded. Cue pirate music!

A Pastel Sky Above the Wine-Dark Sea by maniacalmole (G)

It's 1725, the Golden Age of Piracy is nearing its end, and an angel and a demon have both been sent on a mission across the seas. Aziraphale has never been one for boats. Crowley, however, is thrilled.

My Funny Valentine by theshoparoundthecorner (G)

“You’re kind,” Crowley said with another small laugh. Aziraphale looked over at him. His gaze softened. “Y’know, people like that sort of thing. Kind people.” Aziraphale nodded. Crowley felt something strange stirring in his stomach, and he wondered if perhaps he’d had a little too much to drink. He was beginning to get the urge to do something stupid. To reach forward and take the angel’s hand. To trace the lines of his smile, and the creases of his eyes, and memorize what he looked like in case it was a long while before they saw each other again. Whoa now, said the only logical part of his brain he had left, maybe it’s time to sober up. Five times Crowley gave Aziraphale a gift on Valentine's Day, and one time it was the other way around.

- Mod D

[jazzthatonewriterchick]

Siren Song 🧜🏽‍♀️🧜🏾‍♀️🧜🏿‍♀️ (Zoro x Sanji x Black!Mermaid!Reader 18+ One Shot)

🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 

Pairing: Zoro Roronoa x Sanji Vinsmoke x Black!Fem!Reader (Strangers to Lovers)

Synopsis: In which the siren song that you sing in hopes of finding someone to free you from your curse attracts more than one mate when two of the most notorious and wanted pirates come to search your cave after a shipwreck.

Warnings: Smutty Smut; 18+ (MINORS GTFO); Strangers to Lovers; Mermaid!Reader; Black-coded!Reader; Interspecies Sex (kinda); Hypnotism; Seduction/Coercion; Dubcon (but enthusiastic consent is later given); Dom!Zoro & Sanji; sub!Reader; Threesome; Mutual Oral (Giving & Receiving; Sloppy Cunnilingus + Analingus; Anal Play/Fingering; Double Deepthroat; Facefucking; Cock Drunk; Reader Cums 2x; Unprotected Vaginal & Anal Sex; Double Penetration; Creampie; Analpie; Happy Ending

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters mentioned in this fic (except for Snowbeard). However, as this is my writing, I do not give permission for my work to be reposted on any other sites that are not from my own accounts. Thank you!

Writer’s Note: I had meant to post this in October for spooky season, but that month just wasn’t making time for me lmaoo. Work has been whooping my whole ass. So I decided to post it now for MerMay! I hope y’all like it! -Jazz

🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 🐚🌊 

Another lonesome night among the ocean waves. ‘What a fucking curse indeed,’ you think to yourself, solemnly sighing.

You sit on a flat-surfaced rock, perfect for perching, connected to a series of rocks that lead up to a jagged, rocky mountainside where your cave lies. The soft waves, darkened by night and crystalized by the full, bright moon suspended in the sky, crash against the sandy shore leading into the deep, dark, cavernous cave you call your home.

What you wouldn’t give to have a real house with a real, fluffy bed and kitchen. For the past year, you’ve been eating nothing but fish, seaweed, and crabs, which are all good when cooked over a fire, but damn, you wouldn’t mind a bowl of steaming ramen or sashimi. Not to mention a hot shower.

All of which are not available when you’re a mermaid.

Or a mer-person. Whatever you’d like to call it. Either way, you have a fin instead of legs. It’s a quite beautiful fin–a gorgeous shade of turquoise with shimmering scales that look like diamonds in the sun and moonlight. You also have gills on the side of your ribcage, scales that run up and down your arms, and a seashell bra that you made yourself to hold your breasts up.

Otherwise, you’d just be topless. It has been your only attire for a year now.

You don’t even know what your legs look like anymore. Are they the same as they were a year ago? Could you even walk anymore? You’ve been swimming for so long that you’re not sure you’ll even know how to move your legs once this curse breaks…if it ever breaks.

You’ve been trying for so, so long. The only way to do so is to attract a mate from among the sea with your siren song and lure them to you where you’d proceed to persuade them to give you ultimate pleasure.

Or, bluntly speaking, in order to break the curse, you have to sing a song to attract a man and have him fuck you until you cum.

Then, and only then, will the curse be broken and you’d have your legs back. At least that was what the creepy sea witch told you when you went rummaging around in her shit. God, you wish you could turn back time and redo that entire night. That was the night your entire life changed for the worse.

A year ago, you weren’t a half-human half-fish. A year ago, you were a beautiful, strong, curious human woman who sailed across the Grand Blue in search of adventure. You had no family or friends, so why not just explore the world?

You had been sailing for only a couple months when you stumbled across a strange seaside cave. You had parked your boat near the mountainside before grabbing your sword and exploring the many trinkets and curious creatures of the deep inside the cave.

When you first stumbled across the treasure chest sitting on a lone rock there, you knew you shouldn’t have touched it. But temptation and curiosity got the best of you. So you took your sword and cracked it open by wiggling the blade’s tip around in the padlock.

The chest cracked open instantly, revealing various, glittering stones that could have definitely bought you a bigger boat and a sack of food. You snatched it up and prepared to leave with it…only for your legs to give out on you completely.

With a squeak, you tripped and fell onto the sandy ground, the chest falling with you and spilling all of its goodies. “Da fuck?” you whispered, confused. You looked back at your legs and feet, wondering what’s gotten into them, only to find that they have been replaced with a slippery, flopping tail fin. You screamed, your horror echoing throughout the cave.

“Be quiet, bitch!” a raspy voice ordered. Immediately, your lips stuck together like they were made of glue and no matter how hard you tried to move them apart, nothing worked. You still screamed but your voice was muffled. Quickly, you grabbed your sword from the sand and turned to look behind you at the owner of the disembodied voice.

A woman stood there, dressed in black rags that hung down to her cracked feet and blackened toenails. Her fingers were boney, long, and ringed, her skin an ashen gray color. Hair like seaweed hung in her face where you caught the glitter of many piercings and two coal-black eyes that pierced down at you from where you helplessly lay on the sand.

“Stupid girl,” she snarled, walking right by you with her skirts in her hands. “You should’ve known better than to have come here snooping about. Don’t you know that this is the sea witch’s turf?”

She kneeled down before you, stinking of dead fish and something rotten. You covered your nose at the stench, making her cackle. “Not impressed by me?” she asked, grinning at you with blackened teeth. “Well, I’m not impressed by you either. You’re just another stupid human coming to steal my shit.”

She began to pick up each of her stones, muttering to herself about how dumb mortals are and how they’re only driven by greed. You began to wiggle around, trying to make it to the cave’s exit, but your tail only provided you some movement. Other than that, you were completely stagnant.

Once the witch got her treasure chest together, she stared down at you as if she just realized you were there and were nothing more than a pestering fly. “Ah,” she cackled. “You’re probably wondering about the tail, hm?”

‘You think, bitch?’ you wanted to scream at her. Instead, you just glared daggers up at her and pointed your sword at her. She barely flinched.

“Oh, please,” she scoffed. “You can’t do anything to me, little girl. I could make that sword a snake or a fucking balloon animal if I wanted to.” She smirked down at you deviously. “But I think turning your legs into a useless tail suffices. That’s what you get for entering my domain.”

You began to scream at her through your closed lips, trying to talk. She rolled her black eyes at you and sighed, snapping her fingers. Your lips loosened and you could finally speak: “What the fuck did you do?!” you angrily hollered. “Give me back my legs now! How am I supposed to move around with this?” You pointed at the tail.

“Beats me,” the witch passively answered. “You should’ve thought about that before you came here. Now you’ll have no choice but to lay in the bed you made and embrace your curse.”

You froze at the last word, your stomach flipping. “Wait…did you say that I’m…cursed?” You practically whispered the last word. The witch just stared at you, her lips curled into a wicked smirk.

You began to beg, desperate to have your body back. “Please, miss,” you pleaded, tears springing into your eyes. “You have to turn me back. I’m sorry for coming into your home and trying to steal your shit, I swear! I-I was just exploring and–“

“Save it.” The witch put up a hand, silencing you. “There is nothing you can do to sway me now. This curse is to teach you to beware of places you shouldn’t go near.”

You stared down in horror at your tail, wondering how the fuck you got here. “What am I supposed to do now?” you sobbed. “You can’t just leave me like this! There has to be something I can do if you can’t!”

The witch’s smirk faded, her eyes steely. Finally, she sighed. “There is one thing,” she said and you listened intently, desperate to do anything to free yourself from this curse. “You must sing a song,” she explained, “but not just any song. This tune is designed to lure males across the waters to you, wherever you are.”

She then closed her eyes and began to sing the words in a cracked, broken voice:

“Where the river meets the sea, and the Grand Blue stretches,

I call to the night and hope my sweet voice beckons

The love of a man, strong, sweet, and true

In hopes that my yearning will meet and embrace you.

My loneliness calls and my need is taking toll

On my body, my mind, my heart, and my soul.

I wish for a love that will free me from my chains,

And help me find the light in the darkness again.”

“What happens after I’ve lured a man to me?” you carefully asked once her song ended.

You felt as if you just had gotten high and were hallucinating when the witch answered you: “When they come to you, they must take your body as it is and give you ultimate pleasure until you both reach the point of no return. Then, and only then, will the curse be broken and your legs will be given back to you.”

You blinked up at her, wondering if she was serious. “So you’re telling me that if I sing a song and I get a guy to fuck me, I’ll get my legs back?” you raged. “Are you fuckin’ for real right now?”

The witch smiled at you, ever the bitch. “You asked and I answered,” she said. “So if you want your legs back, I suggest you start warming up those vocal cords. Good luck, bitch.”

Then, in a cloud of smoke and the sound of a menacing cackle, she was gone along with her treasure chest, leaving you wiggling and squirming around in the dark with your new limb.

After crying out for the witch for over an hour, you finally took your sword, sheathed it, and dragged yourself to the mouth of the cave before plummeting into the ocean. You were shocked at how well you could breathe underwater as well as swim. Your tail adapted immediately which made it easier to explore the ocean floor. It didn’t take long for you to find the cave you now call your new home.

Since that fateful night, you’ve sat on the same rock and sang the same song. No ships yet. And certainly, no dick that could help lift this stupid curse.

But you won’t give up yet. So just like every dark night, you close your eyes and sing the siren song that the witch taught you all that time ago:

“Where the river meets the sea, and the Grand Blue stretches,

I call to the night and hope my sweet voice beckons

The love of a man, strong, sweet, and true

In hopes that my yearning will meet and embrace you.

My loneliness calls and my need is taking toll

On my body, my mind, my heart, and my soul.

I wish for a love that will free me from my chains,

And help me find the light in the darkness again.”

You stare out in the distance for the sight of a ship penetrating the fog among the ocean. Something. A sign of life. Nothing comes. No one is coming for you. After all this time, you’d think you’d understand that.

The tears that drip down your cheeks are fast and fat, plopping into the water that your fin dips in. You sob into your hands, anguish and anger overtaking you. You should’ve known to have never gone into that cave.

Now your entire life is destined to this: singing a stupid song in hopes that a man will come to you and cum in you. Maybe you had died that night in the witch’s cave and are in some watery version of Hell.

After drying your eyes, you slide down the rock and swim through the calm waters back to your cave filled with items from the human world that you’ve collected over time. They are all that reminded you of the life that is now foreign to you. You then drag yourself to a small bed of seaweed and close your eyes, letting the waves and quiet night lull you to sleep.

When you awaken, it isn’t that long later. Actually, you only have a fifteen-minute nap when you are suddenly awakened by voices. You shoot up from your seaweed bed and squint through the darkness of the furthest reaches of the cave. The parts you haven’t explored in the year you’ve been here. You have no idea what is back there, but nothing has bothered you in the time you’ve occupied this space…until now.

The voices grow from harsh whispers in the dark to loud, clear words that echo along the walls. You quickly reach for your sword and hide behind a nearby rock, listening intently on their conversation:

“Move quicker, Mosshead! Nami and Robin are waiting for me back on the ship and I refuse to make them wait any longer!” This voice is deep, undeniably male, and tinged with a slight accent. Maybe French?

The other voice belonging to another male says something under his breath that sounds like Japanese. “You already made ‘em dinner, you simp. They’re not worried about what you do. Now be quiet before I make you.” This voice is much deeper than the other one and raspy.

Though different, both voices are undeniably and incredibly attractive. Sexy, even. They make something stir in your tummy that you thought was long gone.

“Are you sure even this is the right cave?” the French-accented man asks. “Knowing your sense of direction, we could be walking right into the belly of the beast or something.”

“My sense of direction is just fine!” the deep-voiced man growls. The French man just chuckles. “And yes, it is the right cave. This is the exact place that ship got wrecked a couple months ago. You know, the one Snowbeard’s crew was on?”

Snowbeard. You haven’t heard that name in ages, not since he crashed into your cave anyway. You had just been chilling on a rock when his pirate chip ventured on you, blocking out the sun. The next thing you knew, you were fighting off his big, hulking self, his crew, and the nets they tried to use to capture you.

“Take her alive, boys!” the old, white-bearded pirate ordered, grinning greedily at you. “She’ll be worth more if I get her while she’s breathin’!”

You had fortunately escaped thanks to your quick swimming, but didn’t count on them following you. When you dove under the water near your cave, Snowbeard made a miscalculation and crashed into the side of your cave. No one died though––the captain and his crew had managed to retreat on inflatable boats as the old pirate screamed and proclaimed his revenge on you.

“Stupid bitch!” he angrily shouted, shaking his fists at the blue sky above. “I’ll get her. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll find that mermaid and take her myself, whether she’s alive or dead.”

That scared you half to death to say the least. Since then, you’ve been wary to come out in daylight and Snowbeard’s things have been left to sink to the bottom of the sea or rust in your cave.

“Sooo why are we in here again?” the French man asks. The sound of footsteps draws nearer, coaxing you farther behind the rock. “To look for some loot and take it back to the ship,” the deep-voiced man replies. “Well, for me, at least. You seem to be more interested in that stupid ass song you heard.”

“And that you heard too!” the French man yelps. "Don’t deny it! You wouldn’t be here with me if you didn’t.” You nearly stop breathing. Song? They heard your song? Could they possibly be here for…you?

The deep-voiced man clucks his tongue against the roof of his mouth and you picture him rolling his eyes. “Whatever. I’m more concerned about all that coin that was rumored to be somewhere in here from the shipwreck.”

You can hear him getting closer, the thud of boots unmistakeable. You clutched your sword tighter, angling it in a way that you’ll be able to thrust and stab if they come near you.

Your eyes flit to the cave wall, seeing their shadows flit in the moonlight. They’re getting closer. They’ll find you.

The French man hums indifferently to himself. “Didn’t that song sound…I don’t know…sad to you?” He asks. "And that voice…”

He pauses, sighing wistfully to himself. “It was so, so beautiful, yet so broken. It was filled with such yearning and need and oh, shit!” His adoring rambling is cut short when he happens upon your rock and gets nothing but a sword in his face.

You can now see that his face matches his attractive voice: a square jaw, plump lips, and a green eye that matches his cropped hair and the pants he wears on those thick thighs; pectorals that push against his cotton shirt where you can see a peek of his chiseled abs and tan skin; big, beefy arms and hands that clench at his sides where his swords are.

His partner is just as alluring. He is taller, skinnier, and shorter than the big, buff swordsman…and also more classier dressed. He wears a suit with slacks that cover his long legs and has blond hair that hangs slightly in front of his face, covering one of his grayish-blue eyes. He is just as handsome with a goatee and a cigarette hanging from between his kissable lips. One of his twirly eyebrows raises in surprise at the sight of you.

Meanwhile, the swordsman chooses violence immediately. “What the fuck?” he bellows, immediately reaching for his sword strapped to his hip, but the blonde French man stops him. “Wait, wait!” he shouts. “Don’t touch her!”

The green-haired swordsman glares at him confusedly. “And what? Let her get us with that big ass sword?”

You continue to clutch the sword out, prepared to fight if necessary despite your tail. “Get back,” you growl. “Both of you stay away from me!” You switch between both of them, baring your teeth as if that will make them beware you even more than the sword in their faces.

The blonde pushes the swordsman’s hand down and backs him away from you. “Okay, okay,” he soothingly says. “We’re staying away, not touching you or being threatening in any type of way. We’re sorry we startled you, miss. I-Is this your cave?” He looks around your home, admiring the trinkets.

“Yes,” you snap. “And you two need to leave now if you know what’s good for you.” The swordsman rolls his emerald eye at you. “Relax, lady,” he growls. “We’re just here to check out this cave for shipwreck stuff. We have no interest in you or your…is that a fucking tail?”

You realize they are both now gawking straight at your tail, their eyes trailing over its scales and the fin that flaps about. You squeak in fear, hiding it behind the rock.

“Why…you’re a mermaid!” the blonde gasps, his eyes turning into literal hearts. “What a beauty you have! But, of course, such a beautiful creature deserves one.” He gives you a dashing smile, putting on the charm. “What is your name, may I ask?”

You weigh your options for a moment, deciding whether or not to tell them your name or anything about you. But they don’t seem too threatening, even the swordsman despite his scowl. “Y/N,” you answer.

The blonde bows to you, comically so. “Lovely to meet you, Y/N. I’m Sanji Vinsmoke and this green-headed bitch behind me is–“

“Zoro,” the swordsman rasps. “Roronoa.”

Your ears perk in recognition at the sounds of their names. “From the Strawhats? Monkey D. Luffy’s crew?”

The duo share glances, Sanji looking happier than Zoro that you know who they are. “I know you. You’re part of the most notorious pirate crew in the world. I’ve heard of what you’ve done for others. You…help people.”

You say this last part to yourself as your head travels farther from your body, recounting all of the stories you’ve heard about the Strawhats. For the past several years, you’ve heard of their doings, helping others from across the sea. You’ve always been so impressed in them, admiring their work and their adventures. Now that you’re here meeting two members, you realize just what can be done to help you…hopefully.

“Well, we’ve traveled a bit and have helped a few enslaved villages,” Sanji chuckles, fixing his tie. He peers down at you, his brows knitted in concern. “Are you in need of some sort of assistance, sweet lady? How can we help?”

Zoro elbows him hard, glaring at him and his pain. “Are you nuts?” he growls. “We barely even know her!” Sanji recovers quickly and elbows Zoro back. “Exactly! So maybe this way, we can get to know her!”

Zoro grimaces at the blonde. “Why? So you can get your dick wet? You can’t even do that on the ship with Nami and Robin.”

Sanji’s face suddenly goes redder than a tomato and you nearly see steam coming out of his ears. “Why, you fucking–”

“The song,” you interrupt them. The duo stop their arguing and stare at you cluelessly. “You heard my song.” The realization clears the fog over their faces. Zoro blinks at you, his face in a permanent scowl. “Wait…that was you? You sang that?”

You slowly nod at him, your heart thundering in your chest. So both of them did hear it! That can only mean…

“I told you it was real, you bloke!” Sanji guffaws, slapping his knee. “You thought I was crazy, but–”

“You heard me,” you interrupt him. You’re breathless, feeling winded as the realization hits you: your help is here. Finally. “You came. Then that means…you’re here for me.” You stare up at your two attractive saviors. They can help you. They have the power to do so. Sanji and Zoro give you similarly confused scowls as if you just spoke gibberish.

“Please,” you beg. You put the sword down and reveal yourself to them from behind the rock. You show them your seashell bra, gills, and tail, watching awe register across their faces. “I need your help. I’ve been stuck with this fucking tail for a year now by this stupid witch and now I-”

“Wait, wait, slow down, darling,” Sanji says. “You need to slow down a bit so we can understand you.” His soothing voice coaxes you to stop and take a breath. “Okay,” you sigh, gathering your thoughts. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long since I’ve spoken to anyone or told anyone about this.” Zoro quirks an interested eyebrow. “About what?” he probes.

And so, you tell them everything from the very beginning of that fateful, dreadful night. You watch them intently as you give them every detail, right down to the witch’s nasty ass toenails. Confusion, awe, and a twinge of fear register across their handsome faces until you finally finish.

Silence swells around you three for a moment, intensified by the cave. “So you’ve been cursed as a mermaid all this time and you sing that song in hopes that someone will come to free you?” Sanji asks.

You frantically nod, though you leave out one important part: that you have to be fucked in order to be freed. And since there are two males who were lured after your song, that means you’ll have to fuck both…which is fine with you. To be honest, they’re attractive enough that you’d probably enjoy it and you’re so horny that you’d fuck anyone at this point…well, maybe you’re reaching with that. You still have standards, curse or not.

“How do we know you’re not lying?” Zoro asks, giving you an accusatory squint with one eye. Sanji gives him a criticizing glare.

“Why would I lie about this, swordsman?” you scoff. “I’m miserable here! I can’t get back home and I’ve lost my entire life because of this!” You point at your tail that swishes around in irritation and impatience, almost like a cat’s tail.

Zoro purses his lips at you. “Which you got from your own choice, might I add.” You flush with anger. Why is he making this so hard for you? “Why should we help you?” he continues, squinting at you. “We don’t even know you.”

“And yet I could’ve killed you from entering my domain,” you shoot back. The swordsman opens his mouth to argue further, but nothing comes out. You’ve stumped him. Sanji sniggers, earning an elbow in the stomach.

“Listen,” you sigh. “I know this is strange, but I wouldn’t be asking you of this if I didn’t need this. And after we’re through, we can part ways like this night never happened.”

The pirates give each other a look, silently conversing with one another before turning back to you. “Well, how exactly do we free you?” Sanji asks.

Oh, right. You didn’t get to that part. “Um…well…” You nervously bite your lip, trying your best to make this sound as normal and less nasty as possible. “You’d have to…make love to me. Something about accepting my body as it is now to free me.”

As you suspected, both men stare at you like you’re unhinged. “I know this sounds insane and you have every reason to refuse, but I’m so desperate right now!” you practically sob. “I’ve been stuck in this body for so long that I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be human.”

You press your hands together in a prayer, fat tears sticking to your lashes. “Please, help me. Please!” Sanji kneels before you, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Shhh, darling,” he hushes you. “I’ll help you.”

Zoro is just as shocked as you are. “Are you serious?” He asks. The love chef looks over his shoulder at the swordsman, sticking his nose up at him. “Well, you’re not exactly making a move. Now leave so we can have some privacy.” He then turns his attention back to you, his eyes filled with lust and charm.

You once again nervously gnaw on your bottom lip, unaware that the act is getting to Sanji and Zoro. “W-Well…it’d have to be both of you since I lured both of you with my song.”

Sonja’s eyes widen and his cigarette falls out of his mouth. “Wait…him too?! Forreal?! He doesn’t even know what to do with a woman!”

Zoro glares at the love chef. “Oh, and you do?” he barks. “Most women run away from your pervin’ ass!”

“But…are you two up for it?” you ask, looking between both of the sexy strangers. The question seems to stump the two who stare at each other, coming to a decision. Finally, Zoro sighs and lowers his swords. “Only if he don’t get in my way,” he grumbles. “And only if you do whatever I say.”

Your heart leaps with joy though you also feel apprehensive. Having sex with strangers is by far the riskiest thing you’ve done in your chaotic life…but if it means getting rid of your curse then so be it. You’ll do anything to be human again!

The men are just as nervous as you are. Zoro clears his throat as he kneels, a blush on his tan cheeks. “So how do we start this?”

Sanji gives you a wobbly smile, an awkward chuckle leaving his lips. “Pardon my nerves,” he sheepishly says. “I’m afraid I can’t make love to a woman if I don’t really know her first.”

You understand and you have a solution. One of the perks of being a mermaid means you have ‘special powers’. “I can help,” you seductively whisper, your tone change shaking the pirates. “Just look at me.”

They do as you say and stare into your eyes. You lock your eyes with them, only needing a few seconds to peer into their minds and deep inside their souls. You take all of their anxiety, all of their stress, and all of their apprehension. You leave nothing but pleasure, calmness, and an undying need for you. The same need you have for them.

Instantly, the pirates are put at immediate ease, both of them sighing, their muscles loosening and their bodies relaxing. Sanji’s eyes flutter closed, his long lashes fanning his cheeks. “Fuck, that feels…nice,” he sighs. “I feel so calm.”

Zoro nods, his thick muscles and shoulders practically melting. “Mmm,” he hums in agreement. “And so…so…fuck, what did you do to us?” He scowls at you, though it is empty. All you can see is lust and need in his pretty, green eyes. All for you. Just the way you want.

“I just used some hypnotism to relax you and make it so your inhibitions won’t be so constrained,” you explain. To put it bluntly, you made them pitifully horny for you.

While Sanji looks surprised, Zoro is livid. “Hypnotism?!” he bellows. “You hypnotized us?! We didn’t…fuck…w-we didn’t ask you to…goddammit!”

He begins breathing heavily, his cheeks flushed and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Your powers are working overtime on him. Sanji too! The man looks like he can’t wait to get his hands on you, whimpering quietly to himself.

You put a hand on Zoro’s arm, the slightest touch making him jump. You can feel his muscles pulsing under your fingertips, a testament to how needy he is. “Don’t fight it,” you gently tell him. “It will only make it worse.”

Your eyes flicker down to his lap, seeing a hard bulge already making its appearance. Sanji is just as worse off, his cock pressing against his pants. You lick your lips at the lewd sight of both of their dicks straining and throbbing for you. Soon, you’ll have them all to yourself.

You lean in towards Zoro, your eyes falling onto his plump lips. “Please,” you whisper in the small space between your lips. “Help me.”

Suddenly, Zoro stops fighting and gives in to his inhibitions. His green eye darkens, exciting you. “You want our help?” he mutters. “You’re gonna have to beg a little bit better than that.”

Sanji moves behind you, pressing himself against you so you feel the outline of his cock against your backside. “Listen to him, darling girl,” he teasingly whispers to you. “And since there’s two of us, you’ll have to listen to me too.”

His arms, less bulky than Zoro’s but sill sinewy with muscle, wrap around you. You quietly gasp, your body coming to life. His touch feels so good. So warm. You need more.

“Please,” you whimper. “Please save me. Free me. Just fuck me.” Zoro inhales, taken by your plea, while Sanji laughs in your ear. “So vulgar,” he tsks. “You should’ve said ‘make love’, darling.” His lips begin to lightly peck your neck and shoulders, his kisses warm and soft.

Zoro presses his calloused palm against your cheek, shivering at the way you press your face into his ouch. “Not for a needy thing like her. She needs something more.”

His thumb moves against your boom lip, playing with it. “Don’t you?” he questions. You desperately nod. “Then we’ll give it to you, but we’ll have to do everything we say, understand?” Again, you nod, pressing a kiss to his thumb.

“And tell us exactly how to please you,” Sanji adds. “I’m afraid I’ve never had the pleasure of making love to a mermaid before, and I’m sure Mosshead hasn’t either.” If looks could kill, Sanji would be dead right now from the way Zoro stares at him. “Can we start by kissing?” you nervously ask.

The pirate duo are happy to oblige. “Come here, gorgeous,” Sanji whispers, turning your face to meet him. But before he can lay one on you, Zoro beats him to the punch and moves his head in front of Sanji’s to lay his lips on yours. “Hey!” Sanji growls.

Zoro ignores him, kissing you passionately, the kiss growing more heated and rougher with every second. You both moan into the kiss, diving deeper and deeper into each other’s lips and the feelings it invokes. His kiss is rough and needy; nasty with the way he swirls his tongue with yours; playful with the way he nibbles on your bottom lip and allows you to do the same to his.

You wrap one arm around his neck, bringing him closer to you. His big hands begin to slide down your body, feeling your scales and gills against your fingertips. Sanji does the same, kissing down your scaly back. They don’t shy away or cringe from your imperfections and differences. They treat you like you’re the sexiest, most precious thing in the world to them.

“Turn around, darling,” Sanji whispers. “I want to taste you too.” You tear yourself away from Zoro, but keep one of your arms locked around his head. You do the same to Sanji, letting him put his head through the hole of your other arm to reach you.

He presses his lips to yours, moaning as soon as your mouths touch. His kiss is less rough and urgent than Zoro’s, but it is just as passionate. He takes his time getting to know your mouth, his tongue asking for permission to slip into your mouth by gently caressing your bottom lip. You part your lips, allowing him entrance, and busy yourself with the sloppy kiss while Zoro kisses your neck.

Their hands on you feel so good yet so agonizing, fire licking across your body. You need more. Anticipation flares inside of you, quickly boiling. You pull away from a panting Sanji, a string of saliva connecting to your bottom lips. “Take off your clothes,” you demand, your voice breathless and needy. “I need you both naked.”

The two men smirk at you, loving how eager you are. “Such a needy lady,” Sanji chuckles, pressing a kiss to your jawline. “You should probably join us though, darling. After all, we can’t be the only ones indecent.”

“How the fuck do you take this off?” Zoro growls, his thick fingers impatiently trying to get your seashell bra off. While Sanji barks that he’ll break it if he isn’t careful, you giggle and show Zoro how to take off your bra.

You let it fall, revealing your perfect breasts and hardened nipples to them. You relish the way they stare at you, eyes widen with lust and awe. “Fuck,” Zoro sighs, bringing his hands up to grasp your titties and give them a squeeze. “You’re fuckin’ perfect.”

“That’s something we can agree on,” Sanji murmurs, unconsciously rutting himself against your backside. “Apologies, darling, but I need to get these fucking pants off.” You smile at him, seductively so. “What’s stopping you?” You purr.

The two men hurry to strip themselves of their clothes, tossing off their shirts and pants, even their shoes and socks. You admire their bodies as they take off each article of clothing, your eyes hungrily drinking in their muscles and sun-tanned skin. When they are finally just in their undies, they wait for you to give them the green light on what to do next though their shafts throb with need.

“Stand up for me,” you softly demand. They scramble to do so, trying to beat each other to the punch. You coax them to lean against the rock behind them before you loop your fingers through the waistband of their briefs. They watch you, cheeks flushed, hearts thumping, their bottom lips caught between their teeth.

You only have to peel the waistbands of their undies down a few inches before both of their cocks are popping out from below. Your eyes widen in delight at their opposing sizes and lengths, already imagining how they’d feel in either of your holes. While Zoro is girthy, thick, and tanner with a beautiful pink head, Sanji is longer and skinnier but curves upward, protruding from a nest of blonde curls.

“Shit,” you moan, hungry for them, your pupils dilating at the impressive appendages. “You both are so pretty.”

Sanji blushes at the compliment while Zoro clucks his tongue indifferently. “A cock can’t be pretty,” he argues. All of that fight dissipates though when you wrap a hand around his shaft, slowly stroking it upward.

“But your cock is pretty, baby,” you protest. “So hard and beautiful…Both of yours are. Let me show you.” And so you begin to stroke both of them at the same time, getting used to how they feel in your hands, your thumbs caressing their heads every time you stroke up.

The pirates softly moan and purr encouragingly at the feeling of your slender, soft, warm hands pumping their cocks, their bodies melting against the rock. “Fuck,” Zoro moans, tossing his head back, exposing his thick neck and Adam’s Apple to you. “Put another spell on me, why don’t ya?”

You giggle, giving his shaft a tantalizing lick that makes him shiver. “Don’t tempt me, pretty boy,” you purr, the nickname damn near making the swordsman combust. His moans are deep and soft, bubbling up from his chest.

Sanji’s moans are louder and sluttier, his voice echoing throughout the cave and bouncing against the walls. “God, darling!” He groans. “Y-Your hand is so…s-so…fuck!”

Zoro laughs at his partner despite his body shivering and trembling at your touch. “Damn, Sanji, it’s only her hand,” he cackles. “Can’t handle it, huh?” The love chef glares at him, sweat glistening on his forehead. “F-Fuck you,” he stammers.

“Uh-uh, baby,” you gently critique. “You should be fucking me.” Keeping your eyes locked with his, you wrap your juicy, soft lips around his throbbing, long cock, finally taking him into your mouth.

Sanji’s eyes grow wide at the sight, barely able to handle it. “Oh, fuck yes,” he groans, his hand moving to your head. “God, mon chere, you’re so good to me. How is it you’re this good?”

You have no clue being that it’s been a year since you sucked dick. But the act comes so naturally to you. You bob your head up and down his length, gathering spit to help you suck on his cock better. Saliva drips down your chin as you gag all over his cock, pumping him in and out of your mouth.

Sanji watches you from behind the slits of his eyes, his hips struggling to keep still. Noticing, you pop off of his cock for a moment with a gasp, inhaling. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “Fuck my mouth, baby. Take what you need.”

Those words are enough for Sanji to finally break. Once you slide back onto his cock, he grips your hair with enough strength to keep you there but not enough to make you feel trapped. He then begins rolling his slender hips into your mouth, his balls touching your chin as you gag and slobber on his dick. “O-Oh, my God,” he moans. “Mon chere, your mouth is so perfect.”

Zoro watches his partner fuck you, in awe at how good you take that long dick down your greedy throat. His own cock pulses and throbs in your hand, his hips unconsciously fucking your palm, imagining it to be your pretty face. He finally can’t take the waiting anymore and wraps a hand around his cock. “Ain’t I here too?” He huffs. “C’mon, babe, I need your mouth too.”

You smile despite Sanji’s cock in your mouth, gently tapping the love chef’s hip. He gets the message and slides out of your mouth, his cock now shining and dripping in your spit. “I thought you’d never ask,” you breathlessly reply and envelope him into your mouth finally.

Zoro’s cock is thicker so it stretches your mouth out in a way Sanji’s didn’t. You can feel it as it plunges down your throat, insisting that you take it deeper. Unlike Sanji, Zoro doesn’t wait for you to tell him to fuck your throat. He does it anyway, gripping your hair to give him leverage as he pumps his hips back and forth, sliding his cock against your tongue and hollowed cheeks.

“Goddamn!” Zoro hisses, watching the way his dick disappears and reappears between your plump lips, saliva bubbling at the corner of your mouth as your throat expands around his shaft. “The love chef is right about one thing: your mouth is perfect, baby.”

“I told you,” Sanji hums, lovingly running his fingers through your hair while he slowly fucks your hand that is now sodden wet from your saliva and his dripping pre-cum. “She’s a wonder of the Grand Blue.”

Zoro grunts in agreement, a loud moan leaving his body as your free hand massages his heavy balls. “Oh, you’re a slut,” he breathlessly chuckles. “You can’t help but want all of me.”

“And me!” Sanji whines, quickly becoming more turned on at the sight of the swordsman using your throat like it’s a toy. “God, Zoro, relax. She’s a woman, not a pocket pussy!”

Zoro glares at him, pissed that he is ruining his fun and his concentration. “Tell her that; not me. She’s enjoying this shit.” And you are. Your ‘pussy’ is throbbing from having both dicks all to yourself plus the luxury of having two sexy men fight over you.

Speaking of fighting, Zoro is currently at war with the urge to cum. “God, baby, you’re too good at this,” he groans. “You’re gonna make me cum soon.”

“No, no!” Sanji shouts, prying the swordsman’s hand off of your head so you can retract yourself from his cock. “You can’t cum in her mouth. It has to be inside of her to free her, remember?”

“I know that!” Zoro barks, still laying a hand on your head. “I was only tellin’ her to warn her.”

“Then you’d better switch with me and let me fuck her mouth a little more,” Sanji argues. “You’ve been too greedy. Don’t forget, I’m here too, Mosshead.” Zoro rolls his eyes, not looking too happy at sharing. “Fine, but don’t take so long.”

So the two share you, passing you around like a hot potato, fucking your mouth like it’s no one’s business. They shower you with praise and encouragement, telling you to take them deeper, calling you a “good girl”. Their words make you wetter, your slit throbbing impatiently. You want to get filled the same way your throat is.

“You’re doing so well, taking us at the same time like this, darling,” Sanji lovingly says. “What can we do to repay you for your kindness, hm?” Zoro seems to want to know too because he slips his cock out of your mouth so you can answer, but still ruts himself against your hand.

You don’t hesitate telling them what you need: “I want you to taste me,” you imploringly answer. “I want you to touch me.” The two smile at your neediness, their hands caressing your face and hair.

“Tell us how,” Zoro says. Though it sounds like a demand, you can tell that he is just as eager to please you as Sanji is judging by how quickly he gets on his knees to reach you better. “I’ve never been with a mermaid before.”

You smirk at him, causing him to blush. “Oh, really?” You ask. “I’d expect such a renowned swordsman to have been with plenty of women.” Sanji chuckles, earning a hot glare from the swordsman. “I’m just teasing you,” you giggle, pressing an apologetic kiss to his lips. “I’ll show you both how to touch me.”

Sanji kneels down with Zoro, both of them paying close attention to your anatomy. You lay back against a bed of seaweed and run your fingers over your throbbing slit several inches below your belly button. “Here,” you breathlessly say. “Right here.”

The two stare at it, realizing that it has its own puffy lips that are glistening in your wetness. Sanji, salivating at the sight, struggles to speak. “Is this your…y-your—“

“Pussy,” you finish, giggling at his stutter. “It’s just a slit, but it’s just as sensitive as one. My tail too.” You flap your tail around, pointing at your fins.

“You like bein’ touched here?” Zoro curiously asks. You nod. “On my fin and my scales. Just light stroke them with your fingertips. I’m very sensitive there.”

‘Please touch me there,’ you beg in your head. ‘Touch me anywhere.’ Your body burns like a flame, desperate to be touched, felt, and held. You are touch-starved and the way these men move their hands is making your appetite worse.

While Sanji stays at your side, Zoro moves down to your tail, gently placing it in his lap. “Like…this?” He probes, gently running his fingers down your scales. Your back arches and a whimper leaves your lips, his fingertips leaving a trail of pleasurable sparks in their wake. Zoro smirks at your reaction.

“Oh, she’s a sensitive one,” Sanji coos. “We’ll be careful with you, darling girl. Just relax.”

Then, gently and slowly, the French man begins sucking and licking up, down, and around your slit, exploring your wet folds. A loud moan that bounces off of the cave walls explodes from your body, finally unlocked from the treasure chest within you. “Hey!” Zoro barks. “Why do you get to go first?”

Sanji, pissed at being interrupted, turns to glare at his partner over his shoulder. “You’re down there with her tail, aren’t you?” He scoffs. “Shut up and keep stroking. If you don’t, I’ll take your spot there too.”

He then goes back to making out with your ‘pussy’, giving you gentle strokes with his tongue. You gently place your hands on his face and aim his face downward, his nose rubbing up against your clit.

The love chef hums and moans in pleasure just as you do, loving your taste and how wet you are. Even better are the sounds you make: desperate and beautiful moans, whimpers, and gasps drawn out of your body that echo in the empty sea cave with no one to witness but the two men currently pleasuring you.

Zoro moves his calloused fingers down to your tail fins, gently stroking up and down with his thumb and forefinger. His other one plays with your scales, his fingers tracing them like one would guitar strings. You can only describe the feeling as having a thousand tiny clits that are repeatedly stimulated. It’s a glorious, wonderful feeling.

“Oh, sh-shit!” You gasp, sensitive from such stimulation. “That feels s-so fucking good!”

Zoro picks his head up to intently look at you, a proud smirk playing on his lips. “Yeah?” He teasingly asks, his green eye piercing into yours. “I bet I’m makin’ you feel so good, aren’t I, baby?” He leans down to begin kissing down your scales, his tongue poking between his lips to gently slide down your tail. You damn near cum right there.

Sanji is still becoming acquainted with your slit, his tongue swirling about between your lips and against them while his nose swipes against the hood of your clit. He ticks his hooded eyes up to meet yours, hearts practically floating in them as he stares at your pretty tits and parted mouth as you moan. “And me too?” He asks, desperate to hear you say it. “Am I making you feel good too, darling?”

He does some kind of trick with his tongue that touches some spot inside of you that nearly makes you cum right there all over his face. ”Yes!” You whine. “Yes, yes, right here!”

Your hands grab his blonde hair, fingering his locks and keeping him locked against your cunt. He hungrily eats at you, his hands moving underneath you to hold your ass. When he pulls away, his mouth is sodden wet from you and he eagerly licks at his lips. “You’re so wet here, mon chere,” he gasps, his finger lightly toying with your pussy lips. “I could just slide my finger in.”

You flush at the idea, having already thought about it. “Um…you can,” you shyly say. “But can you both share?”

Zoro and Sanji look at each other, surprisingly not put off with the idea. Zoro quirks an eyebrow at you and you feel his hard cock nudge at your tail. “You want us to eat you out at the same time?” He asks. Sanji tuts, moving over to make room for the swordsman. “So desperate for us.”

And they give you exactly what you want. They take turns eating and slurping your wet pussy slit, licking and sucking your clit while the other fingers your slit, hooking either one or two upwards to stroke your G-spot. Sanji’s fingers are slender and long, perfect for piano, while Zoro’s are thick and fill you up.

They each offer copious amounts of saliva, spitting on your pussy even when the other has their fingers in you. But neither seem to care, too focused on making you lose your everloving mind.

And you are. Broken moans and high-pitched whines leave your lips, your hands gripping their hair and any part of their bodies for dear life. “Oh, my God,” you moan, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. “You’re both so good at this!”

Sanji’s mouth leaves your clit to leave kisses on your breasts instead, his hands groping what his mouth isn’t stimulating. You go to rub your clit, but Zoro firmly places your hand on your stomach. His eyes are fierce and stern, exciting you. “Uh-uh,” he firmly says. “Don’t touch her. She’s ours right now.”

‘She’s ours’. Your pussy is theirs. You feel yourself shiver, enjoying the idea of you being theirs.

Sanji presses a kiss to your panting lips, sucking gently on your tongue. “Put us where you want, darling girl,” he implores. “Show us what you need.” And when he goes back down to join his partner in feasting on your cunt, you push his head down onto your slit while Zoro finger fucks you.

The two don’t switch this time, probably because your moans have grown louder, signaling your end nearing. You can feel it the more Zoro’s thick digits curl up to fuck you, emitting lewd, wet sounds as they swirl in your wet slit. You can feel it the more Sanji makes love to your clit, swirling his tongue around and around. That knot in your core tightens with each second, threatening to snap.

“Oooh, fuck!” you croon. “Shit, you’re gonna make me cum! I’m gonna…gonna…!”

You can feel it. Just something more. A little more to give you that push. The swordsman is that push, his rough, velvety voice reaching your eardrums to encourage you to finally let go.

“Cum, baby,” Zoro moans. “Give it to us. We’ve got you.” Sanji hums in agreement into your slit, his tongue moving in perfect time with Zoro’s thrusting fingers.

Finally, you break and with a loud, ear-shattering moan, you cum all over them. Their mouths, their fingers, and their chests become covered in your cum…or squirt when you finally realize that you’re squirting. You didn’t even know mermaids could squirt!

Zoro shoves Sanji out of the way to get himself a taste, but Sanji is too busy laughing with joy at your loud orgasm to get mad. “My, what a voice!” He laughs. “Such lungs on you, mon chere. I suppose you needed that?”

You slowly nod, coming down from your high. “That was amazing,” you sigh. “Thank you.”

You stare at both of them with such gratitude that Zoro blushes despite having just swallowed your squirt. He awkwardly wipes his mouth with his hand, his cheeks red. “Of course,” he says, clearing his throat. “So, uh…do you still want to—“

“Yes,” you giggle, sitting up and staring into their eyes. “Yes, I do. I don’t care who goes first; just as long as you’re both in me.”

Your libido is still high as is your need. You want both of them on you, in you, now. At this point it’s less about the curse and more about wanting to be filled and fucked by these two sexy idiots.

The two stare at each other, silently trying to come to an agreement. “I go first,” they say in unison then immediately become irked. “Why you?” They ask each other, quickly growing angrier at the fact that they share the same brain.

“Because you had her mouth first,” Zoro snaps. “Ya didn’t even ask me if I wanted first dibs!” Sanji opens his mouth to retort but then stops, pausing to think it over. “He does have a point,” you mutter.

“Yes, but…you’re too big!” Sanji argues, motioning to Zoro’s big body. “You might crush her or be too rough! You can’t just fuck her like you did her mouth. You need to take your time to get to know her body.” The two begin to go back and forth like two kids, tossing in immature insults and stupid nicknames.

As hilarious as the scene is, you can feel your slit throbbing impatiently and your need quickly growing to new heights. “Boys,” you firmly say, grabbing their attention. “Instead of fighting, why don’t you both just fuck me together?”

The duo blink at you, confused. “How?” Sanji asks, perplexed. “You mean…one gets your pussy and the other gets your…oh.” When he realized where that other dick is going, his cheeks grow hot. “What?”

Zoro snaps. “What does she mean?”

Sanji sighs and whispers to him, making the swordsman turn as red as a tomato. “Um…are you okay with this?” The blonde nervously asks.

You’ve never been more okay with something in your life, you realize. You know in your heart of hearts that these two will take care of you, casual sex or not. “I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t, pretty boy,” you giggle. “Are you okay with it?”

You look between the two, searching their faces for apprehension or any signs of second guessing. Despite their obvious nervousness, Zoro shakes his head, a determined scowl on his face. “Well…I suppose it is fair,” Sanji mutters. “We’ve shared her since the beginning, so why not continue?”

He turns to Zoro, puffing out his chest. “I-I’ll take the back if you want the front. Just as long as you don’t hurt her and you’re not too rough!” The swordsman rolls his emerald eyes, shoving the blonde out of the way. “Oh, shut up,” he huffs.

You suddenly find yourself being scooped up bridal style by Zoro, your tail flapping happily at the sweet act. You giggle and wrap your arms around his thick neck, leaning your head into his chest. He leans against a rock, keeping you against him, while Sanji stands behind you, his cock bobbing against your ass. Feeling yourself be sandwiched between both of them, your hands running over their muscles and abs, is enough to make you reach climax.

You keep your arms locked around Zoro’s neck, his face just inches from yours. “Is this okay?” He asks in your ear.

You nod, staring into his eye which reminds you of a vast, lush forest. It softens, flickering down to your lips. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers. “I promise I’ll make you feel so good.”

Hearing such a sweet promise coming from the rugged pirate invokes something with you that feels like butterflies. You smile and softly peck his lips. “I’ll hold you to it, swordsman,” you whisper against his lips.

Zoro smiles and gives you another chaste kiss before moving between your bodies to rub your clit. Once you begin to moan is when he slowly slides his cock against your sodden wet slit…and then the tip slips in. You both gasp at the contact, sharing pants and heated breaths. You begin to roll your hips against his, slowly taking him inch by inch inside of you.

“That’s it, mama,” he coos. “Nice an’ slow…nice a-and…fuck!” He squeezes his eyes shut, his pretty face screwed up at the pleasure your silky, spongy, wet walls bring him.

You’re feeling it too—his girthy cock makes him a lot thicker which causes your walls to stretch around him. It becomes easier the more he moves, wetness secreting from the both of you to act as lube.

“Look down, baby,” he whispers. Look at that pussy takin’ me.” You do and you see what has him so pent up: the way his thick cock plunges in and out of your slit is so lewd yet so sexy. The first cock you’ve taken in a year!

“Wow,” you say in astonishment. Sanji watches too, unconsciously rutting his cock against your backside.

“Keep going,” you plea, gripping the swordsman’s shoulders. “Fuck me, Zoro. Please.” He doesn’t need to be told twice. Immediately, he grabs your hips and proceeds to fuck you, practically bouncing you up and down his cock, invoking broken moans and gasps from your pretty lips.

Zoro watches your face change expressions, his lips sexily pressed together at the immense pleasure he feels whenever your tight, wet hole throbs and squeezes around him. He quickly loses control, letting go for you. “Oh, God,” he moans. “Fuck, you feel so fuckin’ good!”

He does too. The pleasure is blinding, wiping your mind blank. Almost enough to forget about the love chef. “Sorry to interrupt,” Sanji chuckles. “But you’ve got another cock to take care of, darling…after I prep you a bit back here.”

He presses his index finger to your lips, coaxing you to suck on it. You hungrily do so, stimulated by Zoro’s cock as he slowly fucks you, pistoning himself into you.

You then feel Sanji’s finger gently pry your cheeks apart and probe your asshole. You gasp into Zoro’s mouth as you feel the French man’s digit lightly trace your asshole, keeping his touch gentle and soft. “Good girl,” he whispers. “Does it feel good?”

“Y-Yeah,” you exhale, struggling to even speak from the pleasure. Though it’s a foreign feeling, it makes the pleasure of Zoro’s thrusts feel even better. Then, slowly, Sanji sinks his finger into your asshole, emitting a moan from you. “That okay?” He asks. “Not too much?”

“N-No!” You whimper. “Fuck, it feels so good!” Your body turns into mesh, your head lulling onto Zoro’s shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut. It’s all too much to take. Zoro tightens his grip on you, still pistoning into you. “Such a big girl takin’ us both like this.” He presses a soft kiss to your cheek. “Jesus Christ, Sanji, are you done yet?”

He glares at the blonde who has yet to slip his dick inside of you yet. “Hold on!” He barks. “I need to make sure she’ll be okay to take me!” But you know you are. Your asshole is as open and stretched as it’s going to be. Plus, your want is increasing and so is your need. You need, yearn, to be filled.

“Sanji, please,” you moan. “I need you.” You reach your arm back for him, hooking it around his neck to pull him flush against you. He holds your ass and massages it as you push back against him, rubbing his cock between your asscheeks. The act is so slutty and so unlike you, but you can’t help you. You need him too.

The blonde wraps one around his cock and brings it to your asshole, gently pushing his hips toward you. A gasp leaves his hips as soon as that tight muscle squeezes around him. You push back, taking more of him in you while Zoro pauses, letting you get used to both of them.

It’s a weird, strange feeling to be filled at both ends…but it also feels amazing. You can feel them touching every sensitive part of you that makes you see the entire galaxy behind your eyelids.

“Easy now, darling,” Sanji pants. “Take your time. Just meet me halfway.” You continue to do so, pushing back while he pulls forward. You toss your ass back into him, taking him deeper and deeper with every inch, forcing slutty moans and whimpers out of Sanji’s mouth. “Fuck,” he moans. “Fuck, mon chere, you’re so tight here!”

Zoro smirks at the blonde over your shoulder. “Can’t handle it, Vinsmoke?” He sniggers. “Is that ass too tight?” Even though he’s the main one struggling not to move, his entire body trembling against you.

Sanji scowls at him. “Don’t be so vulgar,” he growls, but you can feel him throb inside of you. “Just shut up and fuck her.”

Shockingly, Zoro listens and the two begin to slowly move at the same time, falling into a rhythm that has you moaning and calling to God, your sounds bouncing off of the cave walls.

They both push in and pull back at the same time, each of them filling your holes which pushes you toward your second orgasm with every push and pull. Zoro presses his lips against your ear, his hips slamming into yours. “Thatta girl,” he praises. “Take those fuckin’ cocks. Such a good little slut, y’know that?”

You wordlessly whine at his degrading words, shuddering helplessly between them. The swordsman grips you to him, rubbing his pelvis up against yours. “Come the fuck here,” he growls. “You hear me talkin’ to you?”

“Y-Yes!” You whine. “I-I’m sorry! Fuck, Zoro, yes, right there!” Your rosebud sings with pleasure as Zoro continues to rub against it, your entire body coming to life from what you’re feeling.

Sanji caresses your face, turning you to face him. “You have the most beautiful voice, mon chere,” he lovingly sighs. “I want to hear more of it. Will you sing more for us?”

As if persuading you, he rolls his hips in a way that makes both of you moan. “Do it,” you plead. “Fuck me.”

They do just that, taking you on the ride of your life, fucking you into oblivion. And their dicks aren’t the only things responsible. Every time their lips touch some part of your body—your neck, shoulders, lips, breasts—, every time their hands grope you, every time you grip or stroke their hard muscles and warm skin, you can feel that knot in your core begin to tighten as much as your wet slit and asshole do around their cocks.

At some point, their thrusts become faster and harder, keeping you squeezed between them and holding you up for better access to do as they want to you. They fuck you like there is no tomorrow, letting out loud moans and grunts that make you wetter, causing their cocks to become even slipprier so it’s easier to slide in and out of you. You can’t believe how good you feel, let alone how long it took for this to happen.

Zoro gives you an open-mouthed kiss, playfully nibbling on your bottom lip. “This enough for you, mama?” He whispers. “Are these dicks good enough for you?” Your tongue is too heavy to speak, the pleasure stealing your voice from you. “Aw, the poor baby can’t even speak,” he laughs.

Sanji is just as fucked up though, his hips moving on their own as he grips you to him. “Fuck, I’m close!” he moans. “I can’t wait to fill you up, darling. I’m gonna make you all mine.”

Zoro scowls at him questionably. “Yours?” He huffs. “What about me? You think your load is gonna be bigger than mine?”

The French man raises an eyebrow, smirking challengingly at him. “Let’s find out. We’ll see who can make her cum the quickest and fill her up the most.”

Always up for a challenge, Zoro gives him a smile. “You’re on.” He then locks his arms around you, keeping you dangling off of the floor. “Hold on tight to me, mama. This ride is gonna get bumpy.”

You tighten your arms around him, anchoring yourself to him while Sanji locks his arms around you. “Let us know if it’s too much, okay?” He whispers.

You nod, leaning your head back against his shoulder. You give yourself to them and they give their all to you, pounding your pretty pussy and even prettier asshole until you’re sobbing, fat tears glistening on your lash lines. Your tail fin curls in ecstasy the way your toes would and your hands move to grip your men’s hair, overcome with pleasure.

“O-Oh, fuck!” You sob. “Yes, yes, yes, just like that! I-I’m gonna cum!” You can feel it building with every passing second; with every drop of wetness that dribbles down your inner thighs and coats your slits. “Me too,” Zoro huffs. “You’re just too goddamn tight, baby.”

Sanji only gives you a wordless, slutty moan, unable to speak. But he doesn’t have to. You can feel both of their cocks throbbing and swelling inside of you, their thrusts becoming more urgent and much harder than before.

Tapping into your powers once more, you look both of them in the eye, keeping them close, wanting to be one. “Cum with me,” you demand. “Both of you cum with me now. Fill me up.”

After a few more sloppy, stuttering thrusts, the pirates give you what you want. They cum inside of you up at the same time, filling you up to the brim with two cream pies that knock the air out of you. Their slutty, loud moans and grunts trigger your own orgasm. With a shiver and an earth-shattering scream that nearly shatters the pirates’ eardrums, you finally combust and cum all over Zoro’s cock while your asshole clenches around Sanji’s.

You feel like you’re soaring for just a few short, blissful seconds, flying through the highest clouds and taking the pirates with you. They keep you lifted up and against them as you shudder and writhe in pleasure, riding out the hardest orgasm you’ve had in a year.

It makes you dizzy and your head goes completely blank. It takes every single ounce of energy out of you, so much so that you go limp when it fades. You lean your head against Zoro’s chest, suddenly exhausted.

At some point during your mind-blowing orgasm, you pass out. You don’t remember much about what happened after you had your second nut. But when you awaken, it is dawn and you find yourself still sandwiched between a sleeping, naked Zoro and Sanji. The swordsman has his muscular, scarred back to you while the love chef is pushed against your back, acting as the big spoon.

The morning sun peeks through the cave, turning the soft waves that crash against the shore a beautiful hue of gold. The sunlight illuminates off of your naked bodies, acting as a physical representation for afterglow: your arms, your faces, your legs…

Legs?

To your utter shock and joy, you look down to see that you no longer have a fish tail but your legs. Your beautiful, gorgeous, human legs. You sit up between the pirates and wiggle your toes just to see if you can do it. Your little piggies listen to your order, your toe bones wiggling about.

“Oh, my God!” You shout, unable to keep your happiness at bay.

Your shout alarms the pirates and they quickly awaken. Zoro immediately grabs a sword while Sanji panickingly looks around for danger, his blonde hair a sex-ruined mess. “What, what?!” He gasps. “What is it?!”

You take a moment to gather your words as tears begin to push past the dam of your eyes. “My legs!” You sob. You show the duo your legs, happily moving them around. “You broke the curse! It worked!”

Zoro gapes down at your legs, even gently stroking your skin from your thigh to your knee. Sanji breaks out into an astonished smile, his gray blue eyes wide with wonder. “My God,” he whispers. “It was real.” You nod, unable to keep yourself from sobbing with joy. You can’t believe it worked!

The swordsman looks pleased that everything worked out for you. “I guess our work here is done,” he says. “We should be leaving now.” To your confusion and shock, the two leave you sitting there and begin to get dressed. “Wait, you’re leaving?” You ask. “Right now?”

Zoro stares at you as if it should be obvious while he puts on his pants. “Well, yeah,” he says. “I mean, we gave you what you wanted, right? We’re not needed anymore.” He shrugs on his boots with the quickness, still having not put on his shirt. “But it was…really nice.” He clears his throat, awkwardly looking away from your naked form.

Sanji is quicker putting on his clothes, staring at you somberly. “Better than nice, mon chere,” he sighs. “You were amazing. But our time here has come to pass. Our captain will be looking for us, so we should—“

“Don’t go!” you blurt, grabbing Sanji’s hand. The love chef looks taken aback at this. Zoro is too, looking at you with a startled expression. You’re just as taken aback at yourself and the sudden desperation you feel watching them go. Why do you feel this way? After all, you did tell them you could depart after you got your legs back.

And while you are happy to have your beautiful, human limbs back, you’re not happy to see the pirates go. They made you feel safer than you’ve felt your whole life. They accepted you, helped you at your darkest hour, fucked you stupid, and came inside of you without even knowing you. All to help you! How can you give them up?

You flush embarrassingly and release Sanji’s hand, instead using your arms to hug yourself, covering your naked breasts. “I-I mean…you don’t have to leave so soon. I really enjoyed your company, regardless of the sex.” You look at each other from under your lashes, bashful but honest. “I wouldn’t mind y’all stickin’ around for a bit.”

Zoro and Sanji stare at you in shock, obviously not expecting this proposal from you. Then their gazes soften, filling you with butterflies that nervously flap and flutter about. Before any one of them can respond, a sheer, loud scream coming from deep within the cave stops you:

“Zoro!” Luffy calls. “Sanji, are you in here?!”

Immediately, you crawl behind a rock, frightened. “We’re coming!” Sanji shouts. “Luffy, don’t move!” You hear other voices too, unfamiliar and scary to you. You haven’t been around other help in a year.

Zoro walks toward you and kneels with you behind the rock, his eye sparkling with mischief and gentleness. “I wouldn’t mind that either if you don’t mind our crew.”

He hands you over his shirt, holding it out for you. “But I will warn you: they’re annoying and unhinged, but you won’t find better people than them.” He gives you a crooked smile that makes you trust his words.

“You want me to join your crew?” You ask in disbelief. The swordsman passively shrugs, ever the emotionally constipated one. “If you want,” he bashfully asks. “I think Luffy will like you. He likes everybody…mostly.”

Sanji chuckles, kneeling beside you. “What do you say, darling?” He asks, a sparkle in his eyes. “You up for some more adventure?”

You take a moment to stare into the men’s eyes, seeing nothing but a generous nature that soothes your fears and leaves you feeling giddy, happy, and safe.

“Hell yes,” you giggle. You take Zoro’s shirt and put it on, feeling like you’re wearing a dress with how big it is on you. You then wrap your arms around both men’s necks and bring them in for a soft, thankful kiss. “Lead the way, boys,” you purr.

Joyfully, Zoro scoops you up into his arms while Sanji fusses about not being able to hold you, much to your humor, as you’re carried away to meet your new crew. Suddenly, the fog that the witch’s curse created is gone, leaving your present and your future looking brighter than ever.

And all because of that stupid ass song.

THE END.

[libraford]

Hey, just wanted to say that I see your posts about voting and remember that I, as a Canadian, am also responsible for voting and participating in my own local and provincial politics.

I feel as though I have also seen more and more voting encouragement from my mutuals (including other non Americans) who I have seen reblog your stuff. You have made an impact, and I hope you can take the time you need to breathe.

Also because I feel weird not asking a question in an ask, if you had to choose: apple pie, baked apple, or apple crumble?

Apple crumble 100%. The sound the spoon makes when you dig into it is delightful!

I know that what I was doing is important and I turn anon off so I could breathe. It does feel an awful lot like I was being targeted, though. I don't understand a lot of the things that were said, I just know that they hurt. And I think maybe I hurt some people in the process because I don't think I was articulating what I wanted to say properly and people took it a way that I didn't mean it- and that makes me feel worse.

But I'm still voting in November because even small waves can rock a boat.

[hauntedpearl]

oh wait. chewing chewing chewing. none of this might make sense to you and I'm sorry but it makes sense to me. mmm. dean on the back porch. he's drinking coffee i think..his brother won't let him spike it. he's inside and he's talking to someone about something. there's a lot of words that have everything to do with what dean's been doing to himself over the past few months, and sam tries to talk quiet and fast, but dean hears him anyway because he's keyed up and also because he's attuned to Sam's movements like that, can't help it. anyway. he's sitting. on the back porch. and his brother won't let him spike his coffee. the view from the backyard is not anything to write home about. the house is in the middle of nowhere and the lawn slopes down a little into woods that crowd the edge of the property. he likes it here, even tho it's landlocked, and nothing like the house he dreams about with a lake and a pier and a little dinghy tied to it and a town not half a hand away, and friends and. well. it's still nice, tho. he's looking at the trees. it's almost time for sunset and they are tall, still things, old things, and it's comforting being around them.

but then the sky splits open.

and there's cas. (and jack. also. obviously.)

but there's cas! is the thing!

he doesn't know what it is, if he's fallen into a stupor of some kind, if he did manage to spike his coffee somehow and he's just forgotten, and considering how his life's been lately, he wouldn't be surprised if that really did happen.

still, his body moves before his mind stops spinning and he pulls cas into his arms. somewhere behind him, he's aware of the house and his brother and the coffee sinking into the porch steps that he'd rebuilt not a week ago. he thinks god, thank god, thank god. says, baby, sweetheart, I'm sorry. says, I didn't think I'd see you again. I don't know what the fuck happened, but I'll — I'll fix it all. I'll fix everything. I'll make it up to you.

he cups cas' cheek and thinks, here, this here is my second shot at this. I won't get out. i won't rock the boat this time. I won't let anything ruin this.

but then cas looks at him like he doesn't understand, like he's a little scared, and his eyes go round and glassy and he says dean? the way he's never said it before, not even in dean's head.

yeah? he says, and his mouth is dry, and there's a moment when cas tilts his head and frowns and dean swears he sees a star light up behind those ridiculous eyes.

oh, cas says, mouth parting in a sigh. and dean's gotta be going crazy because he's back where he's wanted to go ever since sam came to him, but everything feels wrong and his skin itches and the forest is still there, although dean is wishing the lake back with everything in him, and cas is stepping back from him. he's digging his fingers into dean's arms. he's shaking him, and dean feels it in his teeth, weak that he is in this body.

what did you do?! and cas sounds hysterical in a way that should not have been familiar to him, but is, because he's wretched, and he doesn't know how to not destroy the things he loves.

i — he says, and what excuse does he have really, for anything. i —

the door at his back clicks open, and the world comes back to dean, all in a breath.

this is not a dream and this really is cas and dean's touching him like he's allowed to. behind him, footsteps rushing, and the catch of breath.

christ, said in wonder. fucking christ. is it really you?

dean pulls his hands back like he's burned and steps away from the only person that's ever wanted him the way he's wanted them. he stumbles as he slips out of cas' grasp, disbelief, and terror, and worst of all, hope, making his skin buzz.

this is real, he says to himself. (but it couldn't be, could it? maybe he's lost sense of it, whatever real is supposed to he..and now. now cas is here. and he's...empty.) he turns his gaze to his hands, his hands, shaking, but his. they have to be his.

he hears more than feels the scrape of his brother's palm against his shirt.

hey, he says, and he's using that voice on him, the one he uses when he's talking to victims and widows and children that have too much fight in them for their own good. hey, dean, come on. hey.

from far away, he hears, what did he do? and let's just. let's just go inside, alright? we'll talk about it and oh, dean. and that's why I couldn't find you and dean's ears are ringing now, because what the fuck..

what the fuck.

someone leads him back up the wooden steps by his arm, and he kicks the fallen mug onto the grass. he looks behind him and sees the trenchcoat, and backwards tie, and windswept hair and tired, tired eyes and behind him, another face, one dean's tried to erase from his mind like a coward, now pinched and pitying, and dean cannot take it, feels like he's going to explode. (like a ripe melon on the sun.)

he frees himself of his brother's grip. turns to face cas again. it's me, cas says, before he can say anything. really me. and dean says, do you remember? was it you in there, too? and cas says, not all of it. not really. it's complicated. and dean looks at the face, and thinks about him the last time they were this close, and alone, and running from death and God, the way tears pooled in his eyes.

i hurt you, he says and cas presses his lips together. swallows. says, yes.

and dean says, and it was you.

and cas says, yes.

and dean steps back, breathing hard. says, god. god. says, I'm sorry. and cas' lips turn up on a corner, a small smile that is all sadness, like forgiveness sits in his lungs, all the time, like it is easy as breath. dean can't take that either. dean wishes cas would get mad, for once. wishes he would raise his fists like he used to, wishes he'd stick the right end of hsi blade in his heart, and let him sink into his lap.

but cas is cas, and cas is good, and dean cannot — should not — be here.

I'm sorry, he says again. turns on his heels and takes off.

~

he drives for a day and change, sleeps in his car under an overpass, until he ends up somewhere cold and by the ocean (idk where!!!) and he climbs up one of those cliffs and sits there watching the water like silk in the night, and letting the wind slice his skin, and trying not to let thought take form in his mind.

dean thinks he's barely calmed down when he hears the snap crackle of electricity and the beating of wings and cas appears at his side, his sleeves rolled up and his trenchcoat open and his knees under his chin.

dean doesn't know what to say to him. so he says nothing. an eternity later:

it isn't like that, cas says. i don't remember everything. i don't *know* everything. just...images. snippets. feelings.

dean clenches his eyes shut. then, broken, and wet, I couldn't stand it. I couldn't live with myself. I didn't know how to do it. without you.

and cas is silent. when he speaks, his voice is deeper, and cracking just a little, I didn't think. i didn't think you would care. so much.

and dean laughs, because why would he have thought that. what reason did dean give him to think that.

yeah, he says. yeah. no. I know.

cas' hand trembles when it lands on dean's shoulder. the same one that he's marred twice now.

tell me about it, cas says. the good stuff. the — the breakfasts and. and the holidays. the boat. fishing. he breathes, even though he's never needed to. leans towards dean, like he can't quite bear the weight of his own body. please. dean. tell me —

I loved you, dean says, abrupt. twists his torso, and cas is so close, he's practically breathing into his mouth. it comes out harsh, and strange and not at all like the soft thing that dean had been chasing through everything. he shakes his head. lifts a finger to touch cas' cheek. it feels real, so real. skin and stubble and warmth. he tries again, pressing his voice into the shape of his feelings. I loved you. and you loved me. that — that was it. for a while. that was the good part.

cas says nothing, and dean takes the moment to finally let his eyes wander up to his face. to finally look. the moonlight paints him in shadows, and dean folds his index finger under his thumb, lets himself trace the cut of his cheek with it. in the night, Cas' eyes are grey and blue and bright, and they sinks into his skin, rippling into soft folds. precious things, cushioned in lines and laughter and time.

cas' lips tremble. I forgive you, he says. for the bad part. for all the — for everything else.

dean can't help himself. he leans his forehead against Cas' presses his crooked nose into his cheek. lets his hand slip to the back of his neck.

you shouldn't.

is that what you want? cas asks. for me to be angry?

.

.

.

[the muses are breaking up with me. also it's 2 am and I have work tomorrow.]

but basically. sth sth. cas saying something along the lines of. im angry. im so angry. but it's like he's angry at dean for doing the things he was doing and he's angry that dean never told him how much he was keeping inside and he's angry that he's home and dean fled from him (godbless this man he's so stupid <3 he really said torture what) and he's like and i will be angry for the rest of my life if that's what you want but please. please come home with me.

and dean says. okay. and cas says okay?

and dean says okay.

love confession. kisses. etc.,

[thebawdybaldurian]

Halsin/Tav Week Day 1

This week of prompts comes at a great time, as my Tav and Halsin have been separated for a few chapters in my main fic and are just about to be reunited. I’m excited to get back to writing about by favorite bear. This is an edited excerpt from the next chapter I am working on. I’ve left out some of the Astarion-involved beats, just in case that isn’t your jam, but they are a throuple in my main fic.

Most of my Halsin shorts involve scent kink, so feel free to check those out in my archive, they will all be tagged with #Halsin.

Reunited (Scent Kink)

Content and Warnings: scent kink, oral sex, PIV sex (slightly rough), squirting, creampie.

Halsin Dry Humping Chapter

Halsin had been occupying his time at the inn reading, teaching the tiefling orphans some useful skills, and playing with Scratch and Hootles, the owlbear cub. He’d been trying to keep his mind off Tav while she was at Moonrise Towers, but was having a difficult go of it. He swore he could smell her scent one day, so he lingered by the bridge that led to the inn, hoping for any signs of the party returning. By mid-afternoon, between the cooking fires and heavy fog creeping in, the air was too clouded pick up much of anything else. He gave up waiting with a disappointed sigh and shifted to his owlbear form to run around with the animals. He had no smell in this form and nearly missed Tav’s arrival, but saw a clamor of people heading towards the lake. He shifted back to his elven form to ask what was happening. “A boat has been spotted on the lake, coming towards us,” one of the Harpers replied, taking up her sword.

“Foes or allies?”

“We don’t know,” the woman called as she ran towards the small docks.

Halsin sniffed the air, hoping to discover which. He caught Tav’s scent again, much stronger this time. It made him so excited, he involuntarily shifted to his bear form, bounding towards the lake. He chuffed the air as he ran, catching more of her smell as they drew closer together. He could smell others among her, unwashed and afraid, but he focused solely on her trail. Harpers and armed tieflings had stationed themselves on and around the small dock, who he narrowly avoided running into. There were a few screams and shouts as he ran past people, an excited growl rumbling in his throat.

Tav heard the commotion before she saw it, just off the boat and starting to help others off onto the dock. A large brown bear scrambled around the corner, letting out a happy bellow as their eyes met. Halsin shifted back right as he came upon her, taking her in his arms and sweeping her off her feet. “I’ve been smelling you all day. I thought I was going mad,” Halsin kissed her greedily, gripping her ass tightly. Tav kissed him deeply in return, the comfort of his sturdy arms making her melt. He’d managed to grow a slight beard in the short time they were apart, nearly rivaling Gale’s.

“We’d been doing circles in the lake half the day because of the fog before we finally spotted the Inn…I’ve missed you so much,” she murmured between kisses, brushing her fingers against the soft bristles on his face.

“I counted the seconds we were apart,” he finally set her down with a happy smile.

“How many was it?” She gazed up at him, still held tightly in his arms.

“Far too many,” he replied.

There were other happy reunions between couples, though none as public and passionate as theirs had been. Halsin pounced on Tav as soon as they’d gotten up to their room. “Wait,” Tav moaned as Halsin reached down to undo her pants. “You should hear the news first…good and bad.”

“Alright,” he nodded, his fingers still hooked impatiently under her waistband.

“Thorm has sent us to retrieve the Nightsong, so we know exactly where it is. And if he wants it, it must certainly be connected with the curse, right?”

“Not necessarily, but keeping it out of his hands will be a great benefit regardless. And the bad news?”

“Uhmmm, Minthara…the drow who held you captive…she survived somehow and made her way to Moonrise. Where they promptly imprisoned her.”

“Good,” Halsin nodded. “She’s very dangerous.”

“Except,” Tav paused, biting her lip. “I helped get her out…and she’s returning with the others on foot.”

“I see,” he nodded again, his expression remaining neutral. “And why did you do such a thing?”

“With the cult turning on her so quickly, she wants revenge. Now that she’s near the prism, she won’t be influenced by the Absolute anymore. She can provide us with useful information.”

“And you will trust what she has to say?”

“I’m not saying we let her have free rein at camp or even keep her alive after getting information out of her but…the cultists are planning to march on Baldur’s Gate. I know you have no love for the city, but it is my home. We need to find out everything we can.”

He nodded and smiled slightly, letting his fingers move up to rub along her hips. “I may not ever trust her, but I trust you…with all my heart.”

He kissed Tav deeply again, pulling her into another tight embrace. “Damn,” she pulled away with a heavy breath, his growing arousal pressing against her stomach. “I was kind of hoping you’d be mad at me…be a little rough and feral.”

He laughed, giving her ass a tight squeeze. “You only have to ask me for that.”

He picked up her hips with ease, carrying her and setting her down on the nearby dresser with a thud. He tore open the laces of her pants, breaking them in several places. He pulled her pants and underclothes down forcefully, leaving them around her ankles as he dove face first into her cunt. “Oh!” She cried as his tongue went straight between her lips, snaking inside her a little. She managed to kick off her pants and shoes completely as he ravenously licked and sucked upon her. He pulled one of her legs over his shoulder, giving him deeper access for his tongue to reach.

He was even more hungry than their first time together, barely taking a breath and leaving no spot on her delta untouched. She could barely contain her cries, holding onto the dresser as it rocked back and forth from his vigorous tasting. “Gods…Halsin! Oh!” She moaned, coming quickly from the long, forceful sucks on her clit. He didn’t stop there, however, adding his fingers to beckon more honey into his mouth.

She was hanging onto the edge of the dresser now, with both legs wrapped around his head. His beard tickled as he nuzzled against her, nibbling her between licks. He left teeth marks in her thighs, completely frenzied by her taste. “Fuck! Oh! Don’t stop!” She came again as he flicked his tongue inside her, the bridge of his nose pressed hard against her clit.

“Another?” He breathed hot against her sex, his hungry gaze catching hers. He could stay like this for hours if she wished it.

“Inside me, please,” she begged, leaning back against the dresser. He nodded, taking one last agonizing lick from her asshole up to her clit.

She untangled her legs from his shoulders and put them on the floor, waiting for him to undo his pants, slipping her shirt over her head. “You are more beautiful than my memories could recall,” he looked up at her as he unlaced himself, his cock springing free easily.

“I could barely sleep without you beside me,” she sunk down, letting him help guide her hips. “Fuck!” Her legs trembled as he eased just past her entrance. “Have you somehow gotten bigger?”

“Just more excited to see you,” he moaned, slipping further inside her. “I woke up throbbing every morning…but waited for you.”

“You did?” She huffed, slowing moving up and down his thick shaft.

“You asked me to,” he let out a slow sigh as he slid deeper inside her.

“Would you do anything that I asked you to?” She whimpered, circling her hips around him once she’d finally engulfed him to the base of his cock.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Then fuck me harder than you ever have before,” she looked him directly in the eyes, pulsing her muscles around him.

He gripped her hips tightly, moving her to the floor and pressing on top of her. She slid his pants past his hips, gripping his ass tightly. “Yes…just like this, my bear,” she moaned as he pushed her legs back against her chest, testing her flexibility. They sat on his shoulders as he pounded her hard in a full mating press, letting out low growls with each deep thrust. Her eyes rolled back as each thrust nudged against her g-spot, making her breath sharper.

“I need you,” he snarled, truly letting himself go as he fucked her harder.

She gripped his arms tightly, feeling the urgent, powerful sensation that she had yet to experience with him. “Oh Gods…fuck…fuck…fuck!” She screamed, forgetting all about the thin walls of the inn. Fluid rushed out around his cock, soaking the floor as she began to squirt. She shook so hard he thought for a moment that he might have hurt her, beginning to slow down. “No…please,” she begged, gripping his arms tighter, knowing there was more to come. “Don’t stop…come in me…right now.”

“Clataedre…my love,” he mewled her elven name, never feeling more desperate to come than in this moment.

He pressed his forehead against hers, pounding her with a few more thrusts before spending nearly a tenday of unfulfilled desire into her gushing canal. Their cries joined in harmonic ecstasy, echoing through the entire inn again. Lae’zel had wisely moved rooms before they’d left for Moonrise and the unfortunate tiefling couple who was now roomed next door went downstairs to make their own inquiry about switching. The two elves cooed and laughed as they caught their breath, lying together in the wet pool of their lovemaking. “Sorry,” she grinned as his knee slipped in their shared ejaculate.

“Don’t be,” he smiled, falling to one side of her and pulling her close. “I…haven’t been able to experience that with someone for a very long time.”

“It doesn’t happen a lot…but when it does…it’s a deluge.”

“One of nature’s wonders,” he nuzzled against her. “Do you…enjoy when I am…a little less gentle with you?”

“I like when you don’t hold back at all. I know that you would never hurt me,” she nodded, rasping her finger against his beard. It was still short enough that she would have a little bit of irritation on her thighs, but it was well worth it. “You are incredible.”

“You are all I’ve ever wanted,” he nuzzled down to her armpit, taking in more of her scent.

“That tickles,” she giggled, his nose and lips brushing against the delicate skin.

“Then it is unfortunate that you smell so good,” he continued to kiss and nibble her under arms, making her squeal.

[soupct123]

this will happen in half portal life 3

a while after chell joins the resistance, she’s staying with Gordon and Alyx and a bumcha other friendlies in an outpost, and they’re having one of those video calls with like kleiner or someone, who mentions that something keeps trying to take over these transmissions but they get cut off by that very something

Alyx is like “holy shit the columbo is hacking us we gotta move!”

But when the video and audio clear up it’s just GLaDOS real close to the camera going “*sniff* hello??? is my ex-wifey there?? hello??? is my girl gay best friend there with you?? I’ve been trying to find her for so long!!! hello???”

Gordon and Alyx look at each other and then at chell

and then glados sees Chell and goes “omg is that you????? Chell???? For real???? Cara mia???? My dangerous mute lunatic????? My babygirl???? My #1 test subject???? My little chelly-bean?????”

And chell is just fucking melting

“Chell pleeeeeeease come back to me!!! I’ve been sooooo lonely since you broke up with me!!!! I promise i changed!!!! please come back, if not for me then for our kids!!!”

Just like that, chell’s reputation as the hot brooding mysterious mute newcomer in the resistance is ruined.

The other rebels laugh about it. Alyx calls her all of those terms of endearment GLaDOS mentioned. None of the hot resistance women she tries to pick up want her anymore. Vortigaunts say “Greetings to the Freeman, the Alyx Vance, and the Robotfucker” when she meets them.

Chell is convinced that GLaDOS did this deliberately to mess with her life some more

But GLaDOS wasn’t joking

[allastoredeer]

Hello, don't mind me, I just need to vent for a second.

First off, I just wanna say, as an aroace person on the ace-spectrum, feel free to ship Alastor all you want. Ship him with anyone. Have fun with it. Sex repulsed. Non-sex repulsed. Grey-ace. Demisexual. Pure unadulterated smut. Whatever, have at it. I love that shit.

Just please do it without infantilizing ace-aro people.

The amount of art, fics, and takes I've come across that's so patronizing to Alastor and his sexuality. Thing's like Alastor venting to Rosie about his feelings for a character with the caption "Alastor feeling love for the first time." Or Alastor wanting to have sex with a character and having feelings about that, and someone commenting "That's called a boner, sweetheart. That means you like them 🤭"

Like??? Like do ya'll not see how patronizing that sounds? Being ace-aro doesn't mean you don't know your own body. It doesn't mean you don't understand the functions of your body.

It doesn't mean you've never experienced intense emotions. It doesn't mean you've never experienced love before.

And, look, I know these are meant to be jokes. I know. People are joking. I laughed at the first few I came across, too. It's not meant to be harmful or condescending; no one means it that way. But there's been so much with such...bad takes recently, and I don't know about any other ace-spec people (I don't speak for all ace-specs. Hell, there are probably other ace-spec's who don't mind, enjoy it, or are making content like it themselves. I just speak for myself) but GOD it's getting uncomfortable.

Alastor is in his late 30's-early 40's in human years. That is the established age range we have for him. Do you really think that he'd go that long without ever experiencing "love?" He went through puberty just like everyone else, do you think he doesn't understand his own body???

Being asexual, or sex-repulsed, or touch-repulsed doesn't mean you automatically don't explore these parts of yourself. It doesn't mean he's never, once in his life, touched his own dick, or pussy, or whatever genitalia you're giving him. He can still very well be a "virgin" (which in and of itself is a social construct) while also knowing his body and confidently handling any "sexual needs" he has.

Do you really think he doesn't know what a boner is? That in all the years he's been alive and dead (on Earth and in Hell), he wouldn't have experienced these things once? (And you know what? Maybe he hasn't! Perhaps there are ace's out there like that! But you're telling me he doesn't KNOW what that is??? Really???)

Ah, no, it's all because he just hasn't found the right person yet, right? It's not until Lucifer/Angel Dust/Vox, whoever found him, and they gave him these feelings, and oh no, poor Bambi is feeling twitterpated and horny for the first time, isn't that romantic!

Honestly, not really. It just sounds like the same, stupid shit ace-aro people hear from family, friends, and acquaintances about their sexuality. You know, the tried and true: "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet. You'll want all that eventually, you'll see😊"

Do you not see how frustrating that is?

Look, I am all down for Alastor exploring parts of himself. I want him to navigate different relationships, feel them out, figure out what kind of relationship he wants and what he's okay and not okay with doing. But there are ways to do that without treating him like a little UwU silly baby boy who doesn't know his own body, or his own emotions, or his own relationships with other characters. Like he needs someone to teach him about himself.

How about instead, he finds someone he feels comfortable exploring these elements with? Instead of them "teaching" him how to fuck, or masturbate, or whatever the hell you want to call it, they're giving him the room and safe-space to explore it at his own pace??!!

It comes across as someone who isn't on the ace-spectrum "teaching" an ace-spec character about their own sexuality which puts such a gross taste in my mouth. Or, at least, that's how it comes across to me.

And the thing is, I know people aren't going to stop. I know they're going to keep infantilizing Alastor and his aro-ace identity, and I wasn't originally going to make this post, because you can't control what people do in fandom.

So this is mostly just a post to say: HEY! Hello! Ace-aro person here! I hope you all are having fun and I love that you're exploring Alastor's asexual/aromantic identity! Especially those who may not be in the ace-spectrum themselves, as you're learning about us and our experiences! That's awesome! Can we just do that while also treating Alastor like the adult he is? Can we do that without being infantilizing and patronizing about his sexual identity? Please?"

That's all I really wanted to say. I just needed to get this off my chest instead of letting it fester. This isn't an attack on anyone, this is just the perspective of an Alastor multi-shipper who loves exploring his relationships with other characters (sexually and non-sexually) and deep-diving into the dynamics of the show.

Thanks for reading.