#i know people are dysphoric about these traits

[sharkgirldick]

I really wish people would draw more trans women with no curves. I don't have curves, and even art that's supposed to be more inclusive to transfem bodies gives their characters curves.

Maybe I'll get lucky, I'm still early into my transition, so I might get curves. But, that doesn't stop me from feeling left out of just about every piece of trans art intended to appear more like me and those like me.

[thatfeyboy]

I need to know why it makes people so unreasonably upset to suggest that some dysphoric trans people probably should be considered intersex. Do you just. Hate trans people? Or is it because anything that makes trans physical isn't allowed?

It has been stated many many times that not all trans people have dysphoria, and not all trans people that do experience the same dysphoria. It has been harped on that gender is social and about presentation and isn't binary. Fine. But somehow when I or people like me talk about having physical and immutable dysphoria that doesn't stem from social means it's not ok. When I bring up that yes, some parts of the brain control your hormones and gonads, and yes, some parts recognize what you are and should look like, im treated like a fucking gender critical.

Why is it wrong to say that parts of the brain do in fact qualify as sex related because that's what they are for? If they dont physically square with the binary(naturally, not through intervention) then that person is not binary/intersex in their physical disposition by definition. It's not exactly a hard concept to grasp.

And because I have to, no, most aspects of the brain are not related to our bimodal sex system. There can in fact be gender/sex nuance in certain parts of the brain without claiming male and female type brains exist as a whole. Fear of some shitty crack pot idea should not prevent people from understanding scientific inquiry and research.

Being intersex does not make the trans experience more or less valid/real. But I'm tired of pretending I'm a man for reasons that absolutely don't apply to me. Nothing about my being trans has anything to do with how I want to socially be, aside as an extension of others viewing my body as I wish it to be. If there is really room in the community for all of us, then my saying that some of our experience is different shouldn't be a problem.

EDIT: Thank you for some of your responses. I would like to amend my statement slightly. When I mentioned intersex I was more trying to imply, as I lacked a better word, that it is clear some if not most trans people that experience dysphoria have a physical developmental reason for that, likely epigenetic, genetic, and pre natal conditions. This type of sense is in most people, including cis people, hence why you cannot train someone to be a gender they aren't(no desistance of gender identity in both cis and trans people regardless of treatment). If intersex is to be interpreted as things exclusively affecting external or internal primary sex traits(as to be read, physically involved in the act of procreation) that are only ever natal, then I am ok in accepting intersex is not the best fit(except for that PCOS study but not super relevant rn).

That being said, I do still believe it is a part of sex and sex/gender development and that it is a physical condition(most anatomy based dysphoria). I don't see why it being a part of sex and sex development is a problem, when it has no other answer that satisfies our actual understanding of the condition and those peoples experience. Anything based on socialization has been disproven time and time again, so when are we going to stop acting like this

[wandering-mage]

Something important that I think allies really need to start doing to be good allies to the trans community is stop assuming anyone's gender.

Now that sounds easy, and I think most allies wouldn't blink at that statement, but I think in practice a lot of allies balk at what this actually means.

It's easy enough to say trans women are welcome in the women's restroom and that you are comfortable with that. But are you going to be comfortable with a trans woman with copious body hair and a full beard, and not dressing "traditionally feminine"? If so, why not? How is this different from a cis woman with these traits? (And if you are uncomfortable with that, why?) This person is a woman, regardless of their appearance. Either of these women should be treated with respect, and regardless of whether they are embracing the appearance or dysphoric about it.

Cis women (relatively speaking) are allowed to present more masculine and still be women. Whereas when trans women that want to do the same get accused of being fake, not trans, not trying hard enough etc. Non-binary people that don't meet some nebulous standard of androgyny get accused of wanting to be special, subsets of other genders, or not trying hard enough, if they don't have the idea of anyone being non-binary dismissed entirely. Trans men are often treated as invisible, and anything "feminine" is used to undernine their gender.

Not assuming people's genders means not looking at a person you know nothing about and deciding they are X gender, and picking what pronouns and other words to use for them. I may like when some stranger uses she/her for me or calls me ma'am, but the using either of those is a larger issue that needs to change. If you don't know someone's pronouns, use they/them. That means no assumptions. It doesn't matter how sure you think that random person you see is a cis man that uses he/him pronouns, unless you have had that communicated to you, you don't know (and a reminder, pronouns =/= gender, any gender could use any set(s) of pronouns).

I'm not sure how much I can stress how critically important all this can be for the safety of trans and gender non-conforming people. And I'm aware this isn't easy. It's a very ingrained social behavior, and trans people will struggle through this too. I have to keep reminding myself to not assume pronouns for people. It's going to be a messy process.

I know I'm far from the first to talk about this, but it needs to be talked about more and it was bouncing around my brain. I doubt everything I said here is perfect and possibly have left out some things.

(For context, I'm a binary trans woman.)

(Note: I'm aware there are situations where people have to make some assumptions for their own safety, such as women needing to be wary of people that look like how men are traditionally identified. I'm not talking about those situations, safety is important, and unfortunately all you can really go by is appearance in deciding how to respond there.)

[dykeulous]

so, for context. this was under a post of a transmasc who spoke about transmasc issues, and they called it misandry. i corrected them & said that what they experience is misogyny (+ transphobia). a transfem (person in the screenshots) commented how the people who say misandry doesn’t exist don’t know what they’re talking about because transmascs exist, to which i replied that we faced misogyny (& told them (the transfem) to be safe). they replied back, something along the lines of “my heart goes to you <3 we do need a term for the oppression transmascs face” & i agreed with them. they then followed me, and started replying to the others comments that i left under that post (the screenshots above). i seriously want to get to know transfems who are, you know, fucking normal. i do not want to have biases about them. but it’s hard when this is literally the majority of them, seemingly. they started off as loving & nice, and as soon as they saw that i disagree with them, they resorted to insults, and saying they didn’t care about “staying civilized” (when i was). they need to stop talking bs about radfeminism, and if they’re going to– they need to at least educate themselves on it. “white rich women”, are we being fucking serious?? also the whole “the male sex IS demonized”. lol. lmao even. “other forms of oppression stem from the male sex being demonized”– they are so clearly a mra, and they aren’t even attempting to cover that up. i seriously want to stay nuanced, but it’s genuinely hard when i keep encountering transfems who full-on claim that misandry is this fucking systemic axis of oppression that violently and unjustly punishes male people, and female people are just so privileged– when female people speak up about their oppression, we are just such red flags. and apparently also bio essentialist– oh, just how much we would benefit if they wanted to learn the definition of bio essentialism.

“other forms of oppression stem from the male sex being demonized, such as intersexism and transmisogyny” both are wrong. the male sex is not “demonized”, the traits this person listed are in fact celebrated on a male literally everywhere you go– the problem is when someone who is not male has them. butch lesbians & gnc women in general, tomboys, female people on t, intersex female people– when any of these groups possesses any of the traits you listed, they are demonized. intersexism is discrimination against intersex people– claiming that it originated from the oppression of male people (what the actual fuck i actually don’t even know how to put my frustration into words??) is just simply tone-deaf & insensitive to the fucking end. comparing real, tangible oppression of intersex people, to this imaginary word that describes an axis of oppression that is real by zero evidence– is actually fucking vile. transmisogyny did not originate from “misandry”, either. it’s ridiculous to claim it did. to claim that trans women, transfems & male dysphoric people are oppressed for being male– is this a mask-off moment?? transmisogyny stems from gncphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and the systemic discrimination against dysphoric folk– not from this so-called misandry.

i genuinely do want the best for transfems. i try to be respectful. i try to be nuanced. i try my best & i never give up on diplomacy, but god fuck. some of you are fucking insufferable. i need to meet transfems who will interact with me in good faith, who won’t resort to insults as soon as we disagree on something. i want to meet transfems & i want to interact with transfems– transfems who won’t stab me in the back.

[cassied03]

Okay so to the two people who said they would listen/read my ideas, this is for you two before i go to sleep and expand on a later date.

•So for galra keith I would definitely think that he had a lot more galra traits then the show gave him.

• For example his nails were typically stronger and grew in a curved shape

• For another example, his hair was naturally a dark/deep purple but his first foster family after his dads death dyed it black thinking keith had dyed it young to the purple color

• Speaking of purple, i would also think that his eyes were a deep dull purple/plum color

• moving to the scene where Krolia suggests the name Yorak, i personally think that Keiths dad would have included that in his name after she left earth

• so Keiths full name is "Keith Yorak Kogane"

•In terms of galra, he'd probably be seen as a late bloomer to the blade of marmora because he hasn't grown in his ears or tail, not knowing that his tail was surgically removed by one of his foster familys (theres a very rare chance of a human being born with a tail, and I think the tail wouldn't have grown much because the human body has evolved to not need a tail and half his biology was against the tail)

Now onto the good stuff, ergo the trans stuff

• i'd say he's transmasc who's known since he was a young boy, but that could also be me projecting, who knows

• my big thing was what about periods? because i know that everyones is different, i'd say his started at 15 give or take a few years, but before he ended up leaving earth

• With his period, because Galra most likely dont have anything quite as similar (based on cats, i suppose. With cats all their internal bleeding is reabsorbed), his periods would probably be very light as half his body (might/) will absorb the blood and the other half will shed it out.

• I'd say for the same reason he uses cloth pads, simply for the reuse ability and his light flow would have made it easy to clean

• i also head cannon that him growing out a mullet is the result of him shaving his hair at some point, and regaining enough confidence to grow his hair out while knowing that he could easily cut his hair if he felt dysphoric

• with the chest situation, it can go two ways. with the episode when keith and lance are going to the pool, Keith is shirtless, so that is a point to small-chested keith

• but we could also just, ignore that and pretend that he was in a compression shirt that was meant for trans people to swim in. because if there was shorts with them then im sure there was something for compression (ignoring how the alteans could shapeshift)

•One of my biggest head cannon when it comes to trans!keith, is that only Shiro knows, and that if they're ever overheard talking about it (like shiro lecturing keith about working out in a binder or something), everyone just completely misunderstands the conversation

Keith: Shiro it's fine (Shiro just said he can't work out safely in his binder)

Shiro: No it's not keith, you can't keep doing this. You know why. We're in space, you can't avoid the consequences anymore than you could on earth. (Shiro is talking about Keiths ribs, and how if Keith breaks a rib or something akin to that, then there is nothing in space that can help him as opposed to earth where at the very least he could have fixed his ribs)

Lance or Coran overhearing and thinking that it's just about keiths little pick pocketing habit (another head cannon): Huh, i didn't know Keiths been a pick pocketer when he was on earth.

Anyways, thats all i can come up with right this second, if i feel like i'm able to i'll expand on a couple of my head cannons / thoughts

[transgenderpolls]

note from OP: I am transmasc, and I have had top surgery. But for some reason, seeing breasts on *other people* sometimes gives me the same dysphoria feeling for myself.

note from blogrunner: this poll was originally split up between transmasc and transfem and unaligned, but i just sincerely doubt that there would be any noticeable difference in stats, and also you don't gather really any of the info that you're trying to get that way bc you don't know exactly what body parts any individual trans person of any category is dysphoric about. if the OP really wants to see the split, message me and I'll reblog this with a follow-up poll that more closely matches the original submission.

[fanby-fckry]

Random Facts About UH3 Alastor:

His father was an on-again-off-again feature in his and his mother’s lives until Alastor was 12, and is a big part of why Alastor has BPD traits and gets along better with women than men.

(If you’re new to this AU, or missed my other Cluster B Alastor posts, hi! Author has BPD and accidentally projected onto Alastor. Now I write him as intentionally having multiple Cluster B traits that I do, as well as the ones implied by canon.)

His parents weren’t married – to each other; Alastor has a stepmother he’s never met and doesn’t want to meet.

He claims that drinking was more fun during Prohibition because it was illegal.

He has rose-colored glasses regarding the previous fact; Prohibition-era Alastor absolutely complained about how much harder it was to get alcohol after the ban went through.

He doesn’t view nudity as inherently sexual.

He’s still more comfortable with others’ nudity than his own because he equates it to vulnerability.

He’s panaesthetic and bisensual. He doesn’t know those terms even exist, but picking microlabels helps my writing stay more consistent.

His aesthetic attraction isn’t based at all on gender, but he tends to feel more comfortable with physical affection from women than from men, which skews the sensual attraction a bit.

He can be sensually attracted to men and is sensually attracted to Lucifer, but 1.) it’s rarer and/or takes longer for Alastor to develop sensual attraction to a man, and 2.) Lucifer isn’t a man in the human gender binary sense of the word.

Lucifer is the only nonbinary person Alastor has ever felt any kind of attraction to, but that has more to do with lack of exposure to nonbinary people than anything regarding Alastor’s tertiary orientations.

Alastor may or may not have some gender fuckery of his own going on, but I doubt I’ll ever be exploring that in the main series.

I would describe Alastor’s gender as “man by default.” He doesn’t think about it very often. He’s not exactly an egg; it’s not that he’s in denial or unaware that being something besides a man is an option, it’s that he doesn’t care enough to pick a different label. He’s not dysphoric about being a man, but he’s not supper attached to the idea, either.

I think if he was born into Gen Z, he might identify as agender or cassgender, but as it stands, he inhabits the liminal space between, “I don’t feel strongly about my gender, which means I’m cis,” and “I don’t feel strongly about my gender, which means I’m not cis.” (Both valid experiences, btw.)

He’s 100% the type of person to tell a traumatic story from his childhood as if it’s a funny one and not understand why everyone’s looking at him like that.

He legitimately thinks that these stories are funny, because he’s twisted them around in his mind as an attempt to cope, but they retain enough of the original detail that on the rare occasion he decides to joke about them out loud, people go, “that’s kinda fucked up, actually.”

He has low empathy, but not no empathy. Every now and again, he does actually get some empathy, and every time he does it feels like a slap in the face – surprising and very unpleasant. If he could turn it off entirely, he probably would.

Remorse is a similar ordeal, rare but not unheard of, and he actively denies feeling it.

I started to write more about Alastor’s relationship with the concept of remorse, and remorse vs regret, but honestly, it needs its own post.

I projected a lot of my ace experience onto him, including the idea that kissing is boring 9 times out of 10. Not necessarily unpleasant, just… Boring. If there’s blood or biting or some form of D/s element, then it can be exciting, but otherwise we don’t get it.

[radicallyperverted]

Do you get jealous when girls post about fakeboys... I do :((

I don’t see what there is to be jealous of.

If I truly wanted to get attention from people into “fakeboys” then I could literally change nothing about myself. Simply say “I’m soooo dysphoric and that makes me wet!!!” in my bio and then keep the rest of my blog the same, besides shutting up about my radical feminist opinions. There are some “fakeboys” who have physically transitioned, but many I’ve seen haven’t.

Even some full-fledged “trans men” on this website have gone on no hormones, half even still participate in gender roles associated with women (keep in mind that shaving or not shaving, wearing makeup, etc, does not make you any less or more female. However if you are truly dysphoric over how people perceive you then why would you amplify “feminine” qualities?) the “trans” label means nothing, so “fakeboy” means nothing. It’s just a misogynistic term TIFs cling to when they are in the mood to view gender as a fetish rather than an immutable trait.

As for the ones who have transitioned and now are detransing for their fetish uh….at least their longterm symptoms won’t be as bad? Vaginal atrophy is awful, and people refraining from getting unnecessary breast removal is a good thing, even if the reasoning behind it is stupid.

Also the vasttttt majority of people in the fakeboy community were obviously previous victims of online grooming now dependent on sexual attention to function. Many are both incredibly narcissistic and absolutely miserable. If you speak to these people consistently you’ll see what I mean, they are addicted to self victimizing and then fetishizing it. I’m aware I also fall into that category at times, but I’ve actively taken steps to be better and am under no delusion about my circumstances.

Also if you are referring to TIMs when you say “girls” then honestly….good for them? I am very supportive of mutually horny t4t. If trans women are going to be creepy rapists then I prefer they direct their attention to enthusiastic participants rather than women who hate them. And if a TIF wants to pretend she’s not engaging in heterosexual sex when sucking dick then it’s ultimately fine. Still harmful to the homosexual community that straight people call themselves gay for liking the opposite sex with a hormone imbalance but whatever, niche fetish blogs aren’t the end of the world. I think other forms of trans activism is far more harmful.

ALSO I don’t really give a shit about TIMs liking me or posting about me. If I did then I wouldn’t be so blunt about my opinions here. Admittedly there’s a few posters who I do really enjoy when horny (you know who you are) but I find the majority of transfems insufferable to talk to. If I craved male attention I would be posting my ass, not making horny posts about a fetish I think less than 1000 people have.

Plus I also find a lot of “fakeboys” hot lol. I understand the hype! There’s a few who have sent me very nice pictures which I appreciate. I find FTMs in general very appealing. Pussy is attractive regardless of the persons “gender identity”.

Don’t be jealous, you and “fakeboys” are the same thing. Female.

[heron-breeder]

hi ma'am, its pinky again! thank you for taking the time to help me! everything's just so confusing... its like all the blood from my brain goes straight to my cunt. but thank you for using you time to educate me on who i am! ive been following your instructions... but now everythings so worn out and im so much more sensitive! the bad news is my vibe broke 2 days ago so ive been having to use my fingers... it makes me so dysphoric to feel my wet pussy on my fingers, but it aches when i dont touch it and then it aches more when i do,,, all i can think about though is being used and stuffed and hurt until im a pretty cock drunk lesbian,,, since im trying to learn how to be a good girl again, and you seem to be very very smart, what do i need to do to be a good rape bait girl?

once again reading what youd do to me made me so wet >.< thank you miss

Oh, did the poor little girl feeling dysphoric?

~good~

That discomfort if just the bits of confusion left in your mind. But a silly girl like you should!’t listen to your own mind, you should listen to ~me~ All that blood is rushing away from your brain and into your cunt because even your body knows that’s all you’re good for.

Now, for becoming a better rape bait girl, you need to dress to emphasize your feminine traits. Tight clothes that hug your tits, a skirt so people have easy access to your pussy. Be sure it’s something that shows that flair of those hips, let everyone know where they can grab you when they use you 💞

Very proud of the progress you’re making as a little rape toy 💞

[unepetitecorneille]

Gender dysphoria and Smirke's Fourteen

So, whatever this ends up being, it's about the different aspects of gender dysphoria as domains of the different entities. All of it is just headcanons and personal bullshit, but it will have a more serious side, and some sillier bits as well. Disclaimer: It's largely based on my own experience, not everyone may relate to it. Also, there isn't just one way to dissect dysphoria and categorise its flavours based on what fear power they fit, so if you don't agree with me, that's fine.

CWs/TWs: canon-typical CWs + discussion and themes of: gender dysphoria, gender perception based on biological traits, alienation from one's body, body modification, shifting of bones, self-harm, transphobia, intrusive thoughts - This stuff is quite explicit, and there's a reason certain topics weren't present in the podcast. Some parts could induce dysphoria about things you aren't dysphoric about, so be careful. Read at your own risk. Stay safe.

The Flesh: The more physical aspects come here. Wanting to change certain parts of your body that are commonly associated with a different gender. Wishing you could chop off some of you in some places, maybe even bone or that your bone structure would morph into a more fitting form. (In my case it's wanting broader shoulders, narrower hips.) Now this is just for the funsies, completely unserious: the Flesh could be such an ally. I think it would absolutely support medical transition, any changes you make on your body to make yourself feel more at home in it. It would feed more on the horror of transphobes at the 'audacity' of trans people being happy in their bodies whether or not the way they look aligns with their views about what they 'should' look like, whether or not they underwent any medical transition.

The Stranger: Yayyy, fun one. /s Basically feeling like a stranger in your body, feeling like it is not yours, at least not fully, not truly. Voice dysphoria definitely comes here (for me). This is a very ftm point of view, but the feeling when I look at my hips and I <know> they should be narrower. My shoulders should be broader, my lungs bigger, my ribcage more spacious, my torso longer, my waist fuller, not so narrow.

The Spiral: The more obsessive parts, all the extreme self-consciousness go here. Worrying that the tiniest details would 'give you away'. Generally the 'Am I manly/womanly/androgynous/... enough?' kind of thoughts. Overthinking small bits like how you sit, or use gestures, how you speak. Also, putting too much emphasis on things you cannot do anything about (for me my hips and how high the waist of my trousers goes up). This feels very niche, but the obsessive thought of 'Do they percieve me as a boy or a girl?' in dangerous situation. Like, really? That's not the biggest problem, couldn't we just focus on the more pressing matters? Anyway, the Spiral could be an ally, too. Like come on, Michael. The Distortion would totally come for transphobes and eat them and drive them crazy.

The Web: Not being in control. The hopelessness you feel when no matter what you do, people keep misgendering you and deadnaming you, just generally treating you like what 'they' think you are.

The Eye: The awareness that people are constantly percieving you. Them percieving you is inevitable, and you dread they percieve you as a gender you aren't. Or knowing it's a day you don't pass. Knowing they see you as a gender you aren't and you can do nothing to change that.

The Dark: (This is very closely connected to the first half of the previous one, I wanted to put this there originally, but well, this is about <not> knowing and uncertainity, so it fits the Dark better.) Not knowing what little box people put you in in their heads. You don't know how to present to be safe and only as uncomfortable as necessary at the same time. It's exactly like being in the dark and not knowing what is in it. Anything could be lurking there. Even another human being. With malicious intent. With the intent of hurting you. But this, not knowing how you are percieved can be even more stressful than simple worry about your physical safety. There's even more uncertainity because you can't know how they'd react if they knew you're trans/queer.

The Lonely: Being othered by society. Being an outcast. Self-isolating to keep yourself safe. Choosing to be alone instead of the company of those who look down on you/ hate you/ don't accept you/ might hurt you. Difficulties making friends because of who you are.

The Buried: Having to play a role to be safe or to find community. The suffocating reality that you practically don't have a choice but to put on a facade. (Even if you don't have to actively pretend to be someone or something you aren't, but you can't be fully free and your authentic self.) The hopelessness of being stuck in a nightmarish situation, you can't escape it for a good long time yet. (I Saw the TV Glow very much reminds me of the Buried.)

So that's about it. There are some overlaps, but the same can be said about the fears themselves. I hope you enjoyed reading.

[cssiel]

somewhat lately i've been feeling distressed about the butch/femme dichotomy - it's relatively new to me all of this, lesbianism. i have a hard time accepting i am one in some ways, for a period of time i felt some comfort in the idea of butchness, it's appealing when you see something that you think you can do well.

but now i'm not so sure i want it, i definitely don't want to be a man, look like one, behave like one, think like one - i'm not one. but and yet lately i find myself doing so because in some way i am being socialised to do so because i possess masculine traits & so it's almost like i'm expected to fall into butchness/masculinity because of them.

before you say it, yes, i know butchness is not about "being a man", but it is about making masculinity part of your gender expression. i guess i'm just feeling dysphoric about actually doing that - go figure.

people comment on how my hair suits me better short, how i'm more confident just because i'm fronting more / containing my feelings. every now and then some frenetic panic sets in that i may be inadvertently transitioning backwards just to find acceptance in a community & i constantly find myself re-evaluating how i want to present myself or how i want my physique to take shape. the latter especially, you have to commit fully for months to push the needle in the direction you want. that's a lot of wasted effort if you decide one day it was entirely the wrong direction.

it's true i'm gender non-conforming in a lot of ways, i lift weights because it's fun & i enjoy seeing the physical manifestation of my efforts. i wear baggy clothes, though that's mostly down to low self-esteem... my role models are juiced up men from the 90's - but do i want to look like them? absolutely not. i admire their passion & authenticity that's all, maybe some part of me looks at how they blocked out the rest of the world and worked in silence in a hole in the ground with envy. anyhow, i still want to look like a woman. i don't know, i've just been finding it difficult to connect with that given present external pressures.

[intersex-questions]

it's really stressful for me ask and i feel weird. if it's possible, tell if my words are intersexist. also i will use vague terms or censorship sometimes, because some words are extremely uncomfortable for me (but it's not because i see them as slurs or bad words overall).

CWs: gender dysphoria, AGAB terms, intersexism (?), went (?), long post

i have a pcos. (or... i have had pcos?)

and... it's both dysphoric and not.

i feel like the word "intersex" is really me, but i feel guilty using it. like i'm not intersex enough. like i'm not intersex at all. like i'm stealing something from actually intersex people.

also my condition reminds me that is so-called "AFAB" intersex variation. and i feel extremely dysphoric people knowing i am so-called "AFAB". i hate people knowing about some of my traits that are connected with it. i hate mentioning what i was like when i was born. i hate "AGAB" terms overall. i hate i can't use AIAB (not because of someone, but because of moral block of some kind).

i've started to treat some of my uh... "painful results" of having pcos, but it increase some of my traits i consider dysphoric. so now i'm in the middle of nowhere. (oh my god it is so vague, i'm sorry)

and for some reason... posts like "trans-intersex people will never be intersex, you will always be p_____x/d____c, you was born not intersex" make me want to cry. i might even say... it is triggering me. calling myself d____c or p____ex feels painful.

and it feels so bad. i know intersex people have a right to say it. and non-intersex people should know these boundaries. but at the same time... i can't really engage with intersex related posts safely. (i feel like i'm trying to silence you right now.)

in the end, i can't use "intersex" towards myself now due to my... guilt. and i can't use p___sex or dy___c either, because I'd rather die. i can't even call myself "questioning". because i know i have (or i had? if i'm not on meds now?) pcos. i can't use "altersex" because i see too many (useful and needed in fact) posts about difference between altersex and intersex.

i'm sorry.

Hi there,

You have nothing to be sorry for. I hear your pain and I am sorry (sympathy) that you have had to endure all of this. That is awful and no one should have to deal with that.

There are a few things I'd like to say. First, my primary perspective is that you are intersex, no matter what. PCOS is an inherently intersex condition in mine and many other intersex people's beliefs. This is an inclusionist perspective intersex blog, so keep in mind that yes, there are more exclusionary intersex people who will disagree. But you will also find many, many intersex people view PCOS as inherently intersex. And, especially in the ways you describe, it seems like it definitely affects you in a way that is relevant to being intersex.

It is really hard sometimes to work through that guilt. I know when I first started using the term intersex and realizing I was, I felt like I was faking it. I felt like I was taking a term from a community I wasn't part of and that I was just desperate to feel included or be part of something or check off a "diversity" point and many other sentiments that can from internalized homophobia (as in the whole community) and internalized intersexism.

I know that personally, I also have really struggled because going on HRT for trans+ reasons has made many of my intersex traits seem like something that's just "normal" because they kind of blend in with typical results from the HRT I'm on. But that doesn't erase the experiences I've had my whole life. That doesn't erase how my body naturally is. I don't owe anything to anyone else about my body. I do not owe justifications, reasonings, or explanations as to why I am intersex. It is no one else's business how I am intersex other than my own.

If people ever ask you how or why you're intersex, you do not know them that explanation. Even if they are intersex themselves. To me, it is akin to asking a trans person if they're on HRT, what surgeries they've had, etc. It's a personal invasive question that's not their business unless you want to share with them.

Trans intersex people are just as intersex as cisgender intersex people, and honestly, those kinds of sentiments are deeply confusing as part of the point of the intersex community and definition of it is to break down binaries and rigid boxes like sex, rather than reinforce them by reinforcing something like being cisgender or transgender. Intersex people do NOT have a right to be transphobic just because they are intersex. They do NOT have a right to be exclusionary and gatekeeping just because they are intersex.

PCOS in itself is a condition that can't be cured. Even if you showed no symptoms of it, you would still have PCOS. And even if somehow you WERE cured, it would not erase the experiences you had had with it before. You would still have lived an intersex life. Someone with hyperandrogenism going on testosterone for trans+ reasons does not erase their lived experience they had before going on testosterone.

I hope I managed to cover and address most of what you sent in. I wish you the best and again, I'm so sorry you've had to endure that all. You are absolutely welcome in the intersex community and you are completely allowed to use the intersex label. You are also allowed to use altersex if you want! They are not mutually exclusive. I identify as both intersex and altersex personally.

[demonsfate]

Seen Pucca talking about this and I figure it's a good time for me to share my RP server horror story. Pucca's experience reminded me why I don't ever join servers at all anymore. Okay, so I was a part of this DC server (directed toward a specific franchise but y'all probs know what it is if you know my other blog) and my GOD. It was wild. One thing, people weren't all that interested in threading with me. And usually when my muse does get acknowledged, he's either treated like the butt of the joke or for ppl to "put down." (Understandable in a way since the comics themselves do that to the poor guy. But my characterization was a very serious one that I wished people would respect)

My character brags, he gets put down, my character jokes about something, he gets put down, my character gets jealous - feelings don't matter. And it'd be one thing if these were how the characters would realistically react to mine. But then there was one of the mod's characters, and he had very similar traits to mine - arrogant and all that. Except... every muse hyped him up. For some reason when my muse brags, arrogance is bad. But when this muse bragged, arrogance good. Clearly it's a bias for the mod - who was a real big problem themselves but I'll get into that shortly.

Then there was a problem with a guy who was clearly jealous of a ship I had - they tried to do all they can to catch my ship partner's attention and try to "woo them". This eventually lead into a kind polyamorous thing which I didn't want because my muse, being a super jealous type, wouldn't so easily enter one. And again, when he expressed that, he got put down. And tbf, a lotta this arise from a proper lack of plotting with the ship partner, but it still stressed me tf out.

The mod I mentioned before was a huge jerk. They clearly had a lotta money (which is probs another reason why everyone "worshipped" them) and then like a snobby rich person, they put down everyone who buys anything "cheaper". They spend HUNDREDS, sometimes even THOUSANDS, on those ball joint dolls. Then they openly teased (made fun of) me for buying cheaper figures. Even though it's like, my current mental and physical state does not allow me to work rn and also? Even if I could? Not all of us are in a position where we can afford to buy pricey af dolls. Go fuck yourself.

What I'm about to talk about is a little controversial but. A trans woman wanted to play a "gender-bend" version of a male character (but as a female) and basically the cis people gained up on her to tell her how bad she is for that and everything. She gave her reason, that playing male characters makes her dysphoric and whatnot, but then they asking her why she wants to write the character despite the fact she gave her reason over and over again. It basically ended with her apologizing after being bullied for it and saying she won't do it. This one, of course, is a touchy topic but the fact that cis people were talking over a trans person flabbergasted me.

OH YEAH, and after that... somebody wanted to "brighten the mood" so sb @ me to give facts about my character, since I was hyperfixating hard and knew so much about them (y'all know how passionate I get!) and then this other fucking person starts GUILTRIPPING ME???? acting like I'M bad because that person was interested in my muse?? And THEY start going on about how nobody cares about theirs and how I'm ""lucky""?? Despite the fact they had WAY MORE threads than I did at the time??? Like literally wtf!

And finally... the weirdest fucking thing... nude posting. Despite the fact that this is a DC RP SERVER, almost EVERYONE started posting their nudes??? Some even posting videos OF THEM GETTIGN FUCKED BY THEIR SPOUSES?! Like it's so wild, it's almost hard to believe it was real. Like I knew I felt like I was on drugs when I saw what was happening. Eventually that same mod came back and even they were like "uhhh?? guys??? Maybe let's not post our nudes in a server full of STRANGERS?? You never know what weirdos might be here??" and then that's when people stopped. But it was like... holy shit. I just never saw that happened before??? These weren't even ppl with OnlyFans or something. It was just so bizarre. And I'm ok if ppl are fine with showing off their naked bodies and stuff if they wanna. But is a RP group really the appropriate place??? Especially when there's nothing inherently sexual about the server??? Like it felt highly inappropriate to me and just weird.

It got to the point where the original creator of the server (a mutual of mine) told me how nervous the place made them and how they don't feel comfortable going on. They thought it was their fault but then I explained that it is a horrible place full of toxicity and everything. They left the server, and eventually, so did I. This isn't the only reason why I don't join RP servers anymore. There was also another where whenever I spoke about my headcanons for my character, another person who rps that character would get so fucking upset and basically try to change the topic or get me to stop talking. Or straight up say they don't agree. OR when I point out how one of my "headcanons" IS canon, they literally called original writer STUPID! (Therefore calling me stupid too because I abide by that canon???) And one time when we agreed on something they said "omg I can't believe we finally agree on something!!" and made a big deal out of it and I literally told them we didn't have to agree on anything, that our takes are supposed to be unique to oursevles and it's something they shouldn't have to worry about (or get upset about lmao) and I've had other bad experiences, but this server was just the Worst. I think there are more bad moments too, but this is all I can remember rn.

[adrinoir]

Headcanon: Adrien Agreste is Trans? (Part 4)

I absolutely love writing about this headcanon. Feel free to read my other sections of the trans headcanon: part one, part two, and part three.

Usual disclaimer: this is just for fun! Obviously cis boys can have these same qualities and traits. Don’t take it too seriously. These are all just things I’ve noticed. Also please keep in mind I haven't watched anything beyond Kwami's Choice: part 1 when I'm writing and posting this (so, I'm using what I currently know).

The incredibly strong dislike of modeling

This relates back to part one where I talked about Adrien’s discomfort in being a model. I had mentioned modeling is all about body - your face and body being everywhere, having to pose in front of a camera all the time, having to walk down the runway. There's a lot of visible discomfort we see in Adrien whenever he has to model.

Anyhow, what I want to add is that this discomfort never eased up for him despite the many, many years he had to model. He was extremely adamant about quitting. Obviously, modeling is a very stressful job as is, especially with the amount of gigs and events to attend and the insane fans who want to know where he's at, plus he said he just wants to be treated as a son by his dad. However, having gender dysphoria is something that can really be heightening this discomfort and desire to quit.

I feel like there are a lot of people out there who would desire to live this lavish lifestyle of being a model, but Adrien can't stand it. So therein lies the question: aside from the normal stress, what is heightening his strong dislike for this job? It could also be the fact that it's keeping him from getting to try out new things he'd enjoy doing, but also consider that his father controls his life as a whole, it isn't just his modeling position getting in the way. And, as I've previously said, there's a lot of visible discomfort, which could easily be what's making him dislike modeling even more.

Additionally, Adrien's face is now not only plastered on billboards, but on almost everyone's Alliance ring. Gabriel scanned Adrien's entire body and created this AI version of him to relieve him of his modeling duties. However, Adrien is still uneasy and doesn't like seeing his face and voice on just about everyone's device (if they have him as their option and not Lila). Yes, it's obviously weird for him to see a fake version of himself saying things he never recorded. But, 1) his face has been all over Paris for years (MASSIVE photos of him), and 2) this should not be incredibly shocking behavior for Gabriel Agreste. So, is there some dysphoric discomfort here, too? Possibly. I know it's a stretch, but it's definitely a small piece to take into consideration.

He often lets people perceive him how they want to

I had also mentioned in part two that he's a people pleaser and melds himself to be who other people want him to be. I want to add, he also lets people define who he is instead of trying real hard to correct them; he lets them think what they want of him.

A good example of this is in Lies when Kagami is trying to draw Adrien. He tries to pose as a cat to try and vaguely show his Cat Noir side; to be silly. But, Kagami doesn't believe this. He even promises her that this is who he really is, that being silly is part of who he truly is. However, Kagami pushes him against a wall, stares directly into his eyes, and says he’s perfect and, "There. This is really you." To which he answers, "Do you really think...?" and just lets Kagami kiss him. Yes, Kagami was being a bit forceful (like, oof. She shouldn't have done that). But, Adrien didn't try to tell her she's wrong. He let Kagami perceive him in her own way.

Why doesn't he correct her? It could be because he wouldn't want people knowing he's trans. It’s a very scary thing. You don’t know how the people who claim they love you will react. Letting them think what they want to doesn’t raise suspicion that he’s hiding something, and clearly his effort on trying to open up to her more didn’t even work in the first place.

You could say he acts like "being silly" is such a big, important part of him that he feel must be hidden at all costs, because it seems that he thinks that him being silly and telling puns would possibly give away that he's Cat Noir. BUT him posing that way for Kagami and him telling cat jokes in the middle of class (in Ephemeral) proves that notion wrong.

One could say he also doesn't want people to know he's dealing with a bad home life, but it's been common knowledge from the start that he has a controlling father. Nino has come up with plans on multiple occasions to free him from his father so they can hang out together. Kagami's mother and Gabriel are friends. It's how Adrien and her met, and Kagami makes it very well known that she's aware of how controlling Gabriel is.

In Elation - one of the most recent episodes - he mentions to Marinette that his fans "wouldn't be such big fans if they knew who was really behind the mask". So, even now, he still feels the need to hide his truer self and that he wouldn't be liked for who he truly is. But, let's think about this for a moment. He has fans both as Adrien and as Cat Noir. He has friends who know his situation and care about him. So then…what is being left out that he feels people won’t like about him? THAT brings us to the next point.

Why does he think people wouldn’t like him?

With all that being said (in the last section), there’s no exact, definable reason as to why Adrien says people wouldn’t like the real him. So, this could mean Adrien is hiding something we as the audience can’t even see.

It’s obvious Adrien has underlying insecurities. But, it seems there’s more than just those insecurities, and this could be him possibly being trans and internally struggling with that gender dysphoria.

People like what they see in Cat Noir - his silly puns and kind heart. People like what they see in Adrien - his kindness and friendliness. So, why will it be problematic once people know they’re the same person? There’s no solid reason.

I had mentioned in my other parts of this headcanon that he’s very closed off which can be pretty common amongst closeted trans people. Adrien thinking people won’t like who he truly is without any definable reason could contribute to that. He doesn’t want people to know he’s trans because he feels they’d think very differently of him and may not like him.

Think about how quickly he believed Marinette in Elation when she said she liked Adrien but doesn’t anymore. It shows that sign of insecurity and dislike for himself. When the girl he likes shows so many signs that she like him throughout the entire show but denies that, he doesn’t believe her. It’s really sad.

The closeness with his mom

So, we aren’t given much background on Emilie, but one thing we do see is that she’s closer to Adrien than Gabriel is. However, what makes them close? We’re never given a reason.

There’s that possibility she’s manipulative like Gabriel but in a different sense, one that makes Adrien like her despite being abusive. But, of course there’s the possibility that she isn’t, which makes her the better parent.

So, if it were true that she never abused Adrien, that leaves the question: what makes them close?

Hypothetically, if my headcanon was actually canon, she could be the one parent who supports Adrien being trans. That reason alone would make them closer, but could also be just one reason amongst many others.

The headcanon still works if I flip it

What if instead of Adrien being a trans guy who already transitioned, he’s a trans girl who hasn’t transitioned yet? I know that might sound like a massive stretch, but I’ve heard this headcanon from other fans and there’s some good back up for this, too.

We all know Gabriel is a very abusive father. We all know Adrien’s childhood dreams were nonexistent because was forced to be who his parents wanted him to be (or he’s forcing himself to please them). What if this is because they don’t support Adrien when he told him he felt like a girl? That’d mean he’s forced to continue living as a boy to please his parents, because his parents don’t accept the fact that he’s trans.

And modeling? That discomfort in having to show the body he has this disconnect from the body he was born in but still has to have pictures taken of all the time.

And him overcompensating his masculinity as Cat Noir? Trans people who are still questioning or don’t have a choice to transition can overcompensate to try being comfortable in the body they were born into. For example, a trans guy who can’t transition might try to be a very feminine girl (makeup, dressed, etc) or a trans girl who can’t transition might try to be a very masculine guy (get real muscular, grow out their facial hair, etc).

Just about every reason I’ve listed in all parts of this headcanon work just the same if Adrien was supposedly a closeted trans girl which makes this headcanon even more interesting imo.

Also, we do see him shirtless in Mr. Pigeon 72 which some people say debunks this whole headcanon that he’s a trans guy. BUT, this isn’t necessarily true. 1) Puberty blockers exist 2) it supports the flipped version.

This flipped headcanon would also be extremely sad if it is true that Adrien is a sentibeing. The ability to change Adrien to be the gender he connects with would be possible, but his parents chose not to recreate another version of him for their own sake. Or, they did possibly try but it’s what ended up wrecking the peacock miraculous, which might’ve made them feel some hostility towards Adrien.

There’s other characters in the show that are canonically queer

There’s absolutely no denying that there are queer characters in the show. Even though it’s not directly stated that Juleka and Rose are dating and that Nathaniel and Marc are dating, it’s made very clear that they are just based on their interactions.

I also heard Marc is based on one of the staff’s gender fluid friends, which is really cool! That’s direct queer representation that they clarified outside the show.

If you know anything about Disney, you’ll know there’s some homophobia and transphobia around the company. For instance, I also watch The Owl House where the main character Luz is openly bi and Amity is openly lesbian. They end up crushing on each other and dating. They directly state in the show that they’re girlfriends, show Luz coming out to her mom as bi, and have scenes of Luz and Amity kissing. There’s also Raine who’s an openly non-binary character - they directly refer to Raine with they/them pronouns. Their VA is also non-binary. And what does Disney do, despite how incredibly successful this show is? They wouldn’t let the creator renew it.

So, other Disney shows such as Miraculous and Star vs the Forces of Evil show queer characters without directly saying that they are. People might refer to that as queer baiting, but with Disney’s proof of being homophobic and transphobic, I can understand why these shows wouldn’t directly say what these characters’ sexualities and identities are.

Anyhow, considering how they massively hint at Rose and Juleka being girlfriends and Marc and Nathaniel being boyfriends, there’s that possibility that other characters in the show are queer, too. That’s why I and many other fans of the show can easily create these queer headcanons for many of the characters. There’s a lot of signs in the show.

[ftmcutiepie]

when you say you kind of get gender euphoria from this, is that to say like the /mis/gendering actively implies its incorrect? or that its like being a feminine masculine person? i guess this is asking whether girl is a modifier or a noun for you

Pretty much yes.

I've seen it phrased this way before and it always resonated with me, so yeah, kinda the whole point of my misgendering kink is that it's /mis/gendering, and in that way it's kinda paradoxically validating if that makes sense.

I'm not 100% sure what you mean with the second question, but I'll just dump my thoughts on it / gender roles/expression I guess under the cut lol.

Sooo I think one of the main reasons why I have this kink is that I've always been more traditionally "feminine" than stereotypically "masculine", and that caused some insecurity/internalized transphobia for me.

Like, I felt like I didn't have the "right" to call myself a real man, that I must be non-binary because a real man wouldn't xyz.

I never like actually believed that anyone (else) needed to be a certain way to be a "real man", I know that's bullshit, I just struggled with that stuff relating to MYSELF, if that makes sense.

Over time, I overcame those "self-doubts" and realized I'm literally just a binary trans guy and only really comfortable with he/him pronouns - maybe he/they if another trans person uses those pronouns for me, but my mother tongue doesn't really have gender-neutral pronouns so it's not really relevant IRL.

BUT I'm still insecure about OTHER PEOPLE not seeing/accepting me as a "real man" because I'm trans and not stereotypically masculine.

So for me this kink is a way to

a) kinda explore my "femininity" in a sexy way to make in fun and kinda "reclaim" it in a way

b) deal with those anxieties, being called a fake boy and a girl, literally being told I'm not/will never be a "real man" in a safe environment where it's all fun and pretend and like I said, because I ask to be misgendered and people respond by calling me a girl, that means I'm actually a boy, yk?

But yeah like I do have traditionally "feminine" traits and I do enjoy wearing feminine clothes not just in a sexual way, that's why I like the term femboy (feminine boy) for myself.

Sorry maybe I am stupid but I'm not sure what you mean with the third question either😅

Like, a noun can be a modifier?😅

I guess in the term ftm girl "ftm" modifies "girl". I'm a girl that's ftm. Paradoxical, isn't it? That's why I'm not a (cis) girl.

I'm like those shitposts(?) that are like "I'm like if a boy was a girl". But not in a non-binary way. More in a gendernonconforming way. Like a femboy.

I do feel like trans men can - and I do - have a specific "relationship" to femininity that most other people, specifically cis ones don't have.

Like, I'm a guy, I came out because there was no way I could be happy living as a girl/woman. But, at least for me, "girlhood"/"womanhood" wasn't always some dysphoric nightmare, I did enjoy parts of it. That doesn't make me a woman, but at the same time, I shouldn't have to give up "femininity" just because I'm a guy. Still, many people do believe that there are right and wrong ways to be a certain gender, and trans people already are on thin fucking ice just for being trans. God forbid they don't adhere to gender roles and cissexist standards to a T😂

I guess, this is just me having fun with my gender (expression). Sometimes a boy can "be a girl" (= enjoying femininity I guess) without that having any impact on his actual gender identity (= actually being a girl).

[poppyandzena]

So there was a looott of "interesting" things from that last stream that others have already pointed out (ie, Zena & Poppy telling their audience multiple times not to look them up on here, more lies about Poppy's exes + metamors, Poppy continuing to show how horribly cut out for poly she is, etc.) but I also wanted to say how aggravating it is to hear Poppy talk about how "cis people can't have dysphoria".

Like, nevermind that "dysphoria" is an extremely broad term that describes any strong/enduring sense of discomfort and hat Poppy is using it to refer only to *gender* dysphoria without actually specifying that. I can almost let that slide because she's far from the only person who does this nowadays.

But as an intersex cis woman, I would like for people like Poppy to please stop erasing intersex experiences over and over. Because yes, we can have gender dysphoria too! This is shouldn't be hard to figure out if you think about us for more than 2 minutes (but I'm gonna guess the most Poppy has ever thought of intersex people is as fetishes).

Honestly the fact that a licensed therapist doesn't even know the non-gender specific use of "dysphoria" and fails to consider the reasons why a cis person could have gender dysphoria is alarming. Unsurprising though.

Cis people 100% can have dysphoria. Much like how people forget glasses are a disability aid, things like cosmetic surgery, hair regrowth products, steroids, and even makeup are gender affirming tools. You think men get enlargement pills and put their schlong in a wringer because they AREN'T dysphoric?

People with EDs often have ideals aligned with their assigned gender presentation. This is dysphoria. Dysmorphia is more so the distortion of one's own body against reality. Dysphoria is dissatisfaction with what they lack, not a complete warping of their self-image. Women with EDs will usually work towards a goal that is their ideal of femininity, or at least the ideal human form. This is dysphoria.

Poppy is willfully dismissing the suffering of an entire population of human beings because they're cis.

Poppy is myopic and only regards her OWN worldview. She can barely comprehend the true intentions, feelings, or opinions of other human beings. This isn't a typical level of self-absorption. Based on what we've heard from her own mouth, this is a maladaptive trait that has and will fuck up uer relationships.

She centers her politics based on what is best for her and not what is best for everyone. Yes, incidentally, that can fall into progressive takes, but her myopia really shows when it comes to shit she has no personal stake in--like woke colonialism, the policing of black people's mannerisms.

And she's a therapist, meant to assist people into getting the lives THEY want and deserve. How troubling.