#i know what every aspect of myself could have been in my head but i dont really know that any of it would be real

[bunnihearted]

❄️🐇❕

[foldingfittedsheets]

We had the most egregiously evil little pony horse when I was growing up. I know everyone says that. Ponies are one of the animals that truly understand how to commit crimes but she was really deeply atrocious. One time she tried to murder me. Her name was Fancy.

I feel I should slightly explain here. See, my parents bought two acres with a house and a barn and pasturage and went “We’re farmers now!” They had absolutely no idea what they were doing. And at a certain point along that journey my mom got her hands on a horse. Technically she was half pony half horse so she was this weird middle size.

Fancy belonged to a friend of hers and he showed her how to saddle Fancy. And that was it. That was all we knew about this horse. So my mom brings her home and saddles her and we decide to go for a ride on this new creature in our lives. But Fancy, being the savvy bitch she was, was far too canny for our dumb asses.

Her maiden ride went to my older brother and ended rather abruptly when the saddle slid completely sideways and my brother toppled off her, miraculously unharmed but unwilling to ever try again. This made me like Fancy somewhat, because I hated my brother.

Those familiar with horse trickery would have caught her ruse but Fancy had deliberately held her breath to make the saddle seem tight enough. But in stride she let the breath out, the saddle loosened, and my brother came toppling down. She planned that fuckup.

I was a bit more game, being a dedicated horse girl. I wanted to succeed where my loathsome brother had failed. Keep in mind: none of us had ever ridden. We had no idea what we were doing, and in the only defense I’ll ever make of that hoofed demon it was probably not pleasant to have a human flopping on her back like a sack of potatoes. But I paraded around in a circle until she scraped my leg against a fence post. I lasted longer than my brother but had to admit riding an animal radiating malice at you is not comfortable.

We didn’t really ride Fancy much after that. She was a decorative aspect to the fields. Sometimes I’d sit on her bare back while she was eating. Every so often she’d buck me off for assuming familiarity with her.

But Fany's coup de grâce took several months. Most of the pasturage had electric fence running along it to keep the livestock from testing the fences or getting a taste for freedom. My parents were constantly moving fence posts and reallocating land to different purposes which is how one of the major gates ended up with electric fence running over top. During a move the wire got left up from the last border and now it was strung over what should have been an open passage.

I was taking a ride on Fancy, living in a fantasy that I had any idea what I was doing. My mom was out working in the yard, and as she passed through she left the gate open, forgetting the wire hazard. You know who didn't forget?

Fancy.

She beelined for the open gate and I realized a second too late what her plan was. I hauled back on the reins with all my strength but she powered through, charging at the wire. If I'd caught on sooner I could have tipped forward and probably cleared it.

It was roughly chest height. But she was too savvy, keeping a slow pace right up until the passage, and I didn't have time to react. The thought of getting electrocuted sent me down into a terrified backward limbo, desperately trying to flatten myself along her back.

Her assassination almost worked. But instead of beheading me the wire caught under my chin, pressing back into my neck like a garrote. The only good news was that the wire wasn't live, but I was still in terrible danger. I squealed and wiggled and managed to twist my neck enough that the wire scraped over my face instead of pressing deeper. Once we were through Fancy stopped and turned to regard me, disappointed that her murder had failed. My neck was bleeding but my head remained attached.

My mother was absolutely terrified and I was pretty shaken myself. We unsaddled Fancy for the last time, as full on attempts on my life were a bit more than I was willing to bear for the sake of pretending to be a fantasy hero on an epic journey. My neck still has a faint scar from her homicidal tendencies.

Fancy got to remain a decorative horse for many years after that, free of our attempts to ride her. Her last torment was when my mother decided to try to breed her to achieve an animal that was less interested in murder.

But Fancy, true to form, brutally attacked the stallion sent to service her, even when hopped up on horny hormones. There would be no foals from Fancy, and her saga ended when we sold her to another unlucky soul.

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #30

• I find that, most charming people tend to have their sun and rising in the same modality except squaring one another. E.g. Aries sun-Cap/Cancer rising, Pisces sun-Sag/Gem rising, Taurus sun-Leo/Aqua rising, etc..

• I've noticed some Aqua/Cap risings tend to start working from an early age. E.g. Luis Miguel (Cap rising), his career started when he was around 11 and Selena Quintanilla (Aqua rising), became the lead singer of Selena y Los Dinos when she was just 9! Michael Jackson (Sidereal Aqua rising), became the lead singer of the Jackson 5 at age 5.

• The house your moon is in, can be the things you find comfort in. E.x. A 2H moon might have a comfort food or like staying in bed, a 9H moon might like playfulness and words of reassurance, a 7H moon might like creative outlets, etc...

• 5H stelliums that include Venus/Mars, like big, dramatic, romantic gestures! The sign it's in gives more insight too. E.g. If it's in Taurus, they'll like spoiling their partners with expensive gifts and being really romantic.

• Earth/2H/6H/10H placements need constant reassurance when they're antsy/nervous!

• You know what's cute? Two people who's sun signs have the same ruler, can be born in the same hour but different times of the day and have the same rising! E.g. If a Pisces is born around 11 AM and a Sagittarius is born around 11 PM, they're both Gemini risings. If a Aries is born around 10 AM and a Scorpio is born around 10 PM, they're both Cancer risings. Etc...

• Having Pisces mars in composite can be so sweet! However, when it's platonic it could mean matters of the planet are hidden so, it could be that you both don't talk about sex, you can get frustrated/angry but don't want to talk about it. You could also know how to calm down/soothe the other when they're angry or you could be passive/dismissive when the other's angry.

• Libra/7H Jupiter in Composite could mean being very romantic together! Holding hands, soft kisses, going on dates, spoiling each other, being head over heels for each other, including each other in things, wanting to be together and shower each other with love and affection. Making it known to others that you're together and in love!!

• Pisces venus-Cap mars should open businesses related to vanity. I've noticed people with this combo often work in venusian fields, such as opening their own clothing boutiques, hair/nail salons, etc..

• Question for Capricorn mars people, are we all born with diplomas from business school? 😂 Because I swear business comes natural to Cap mars, wether having studied it or not.

• Virgo placements and Pisces placements can be very similar, especially venus. Because the amount of times I've seen Virgo Venuses stay with toxic men just because they love them.😭 But Pisces Venuses do that too! We just get the "delusional" rep which is so ridiculous.🤡

• Please don't lie to 8H mars, they're the paranoid types.

• Every time I have Chiron in Aries in my SR chart, I have to deal with controlling my anger and having to find calmer outlets to express angression.😭

• This might be a reach, but, have you guys noticed how when you have planets that are close, it can tell you things?? E.g. I know a celebrity who has their Uranus, Moon and Pluto close to each other and their mom (Moon) disappeared under weird circumstances (Uranus) and her whereabouts remain a mystery till this day (Pluto). I tested this theory on myself and it worked too.

• The house your Sun is in, can tell you so many things too! Say, if you have a 10H sun, your father could've been restrictive/controlling workaholic, so you may try to run away from responsibility. If your Sun is in the 4H, your father could've been emotionally manipulative and might've not been nurturing to you, so you might try to run away from family members or from having kids.

• 7H rising in synastry has the same, if not a slightly stronger effect than the Sun-Venus aspect. House person literally sees Rising person as the most gorgeous human being ever! They just seem so perfect, from theirs looks down to their personality!!

• 6H rising in synastry, for the house person, feels like the rising person is well composed/reserved. But there's something alluring about the rising person. Maybe their mannerisms or looks. Either way, the rising person is very physically attractive to the house person.

• You ever meet someone with your rising and mars signs as theirs but switched?? E.x. Gemini rising-Cap mars, meets Cap rising-Gemini mars, or Libra rising-Aqua mars meets Aqua rising-Libra mars, etc.. I swear we're inverted versions of each other.😭

• On the flip side, have you met someone with your Sun as their Mercury and your Mercury as their sun? E.x. Cancer Sun-Leo Mercury meets Leo sun-Cancer Mercury, etc.. That also feels inverted but you both get each other well.

• I love Leo women with Taurus/Libra/Virgo venus/mars, they're usually the sweetest!

• Virgo suns with Taurus moons are also very sweet!

• Men with Aries suns, Virgo moons, Taurus Venuses and an Air mars are my favvv!! They're usually very attractive, energetic, funny, loyal and have great taste in music!

• Virgo/6H Moons/Venuses can be health nuts. 😂 But that's a great thing, because they usually looks out for the health and wellbeing of those around them!

• They're the types to watch videos about foods with the most nutrition, what not to eat, diets and stuff like that.

• Aries Venuses with Gemini Mars would do great at aerobics or workout/dance classes given their energetic nature! (Bonus points if the chart ruler is in Aries)

• If you have a stellium in your chart ruler's persona chart, you'll most likely act it out. E.x. If your chart Ruler's in Aries, you'll search for the persona chart and you'll have Aries sun obviously, but say you have Aries mercury and Venus in that persona chart, you'll most likely exude that energy. The house it's in, also counts! Say it's in the 5H, you could get called dramatic a lot.😭

• Fire Mercuries and Venuses loveee teasing, taunting and chasing!

• Pisces suns with Libra moons are really fun to hangout with!! They're also very kind and nurturing!

[11cupids-tarot11]

Short Channeled Letters From Your Boo! 💜

🪽

Pile 1 -> 3

Dm me for private readings!

$5.55 per question, c@shapp- $minnieplant3

Tips appreciated! 🩵

Love y'all! -Cupid 𖥔 ࣪ ᥫ᭡ꗃ⋆࣪.

Pile 1-

Hi you! ;)

I want to get right to the point. I might be distant lately, I know we used to hang out quite a lot, right? I miss it too. I miss you. Literally every single thing about you down to the smallest of details and I think you miss me too. You see me everywhere, don't you? I see you too, in my dreams, every time I close my eyes. No one understands me like you do, no one knows what I've been through like you do, we're best friends so of course this separation would hurt you, it hurts me too, but it's the best thing I could think to do. I found myself falling in love with you, I felt scared and vulnerable again like a child and the feeling scared me. I knew it was something so much deeper because I love you enough to change, I love you so much I don't want my demons to ever hurt you, ever. I'll be back! I can't stay away from you too long, I've got plans ;)

Be talking to you soon sweetie :) take care!

Pile 2-

Hey my angel, how are you my love? It's been such a crazy journey, right? So many wild twists and turns, but we made it through! We're almost there now! I've been manifesting you for awhile, from far away, while you're with them. I pray and hope you're willing to accept me this time, because I'm ready and I really want all of you. All of your shadows. Everything. I really want to kiss you. I know I don't show it often, I'm not in the position to really show you right now anyways even if I wanted to, but I will be soon ;) I can't wait to spoil you rotten, pamper you and love you the way you should be loved, I can do it all, I'm very willing. I think we're soulmates, I can't ever imagine letting you go again, our future plays in my dreams like my little safe haven. 😇

Love you, angel!

Pile 3-

Meeting you would have to be one of the best things that has ever happened to me, even if it's not our time :)

When I think of something perfect I think of you, you're what I want, you're what I crave but I just can't seem to open my eyes to look for you, baby I might be a fool sometimes, if I'm being honest I'm a mess a lot of the time and that's the problem, who wants to hear that, though, right? But it's the truth, that's why I keep attracting every one bad for me, isn't it? You deserve someone who's your knight in shining armor, someone who matches your energy perfectly and I'm not going to touch a single hair on your head until I feel like I'm worthy to. I'm working on matching my energy up there with yours, in so many aspects and different ways. There isn't anything you should ever worry about, darling. You're going to be my last puzzle piece 🧩💕.

[buckets-and-trees]

"You are nothing but a toy for me to fuck, little lamb. Now open your mouth for me, or I will break your jaw opening it myself."

👀👀👀

Well... as you know, this escalated quickly.

Title: Sacrificial Fandom: MCU Characters/Pairings: Minotaur!Bucky x Botanist!Female!Reader Word Count: 3.5k

Summary: If it seems too good to be true, it always is. Always. Too bad you had to go to the remote jungles of South America to learn that lesson.

Content/Concept Warnings: DARK, lulled into a trap, human sacrifice, dubious consent/fuck or die, public sex/exhibitionism, size kink, monster fucking, face fucking/oral male receiving, vaginal fingering/fisting, breast worship, rough fucking, possessive/pet, praise kink, dirty talk, cum play, marking, cream pie, choking

Additional Notes: Thoty time with @rookthorne... she's only responsible for enabling me when my monster thirst reared its head. Wicked entry for @buckybarnesevents WEEK ONE of Hot Bucky Summer: "What Should I Wear?" and my third square of @buckybarnesbingo K1 "Fuck or Die."

When you told your friends, family, and former colleagues about the research grant and fellowship you had been awarded in the weeks leading up to your departure that it was too perfect, clearly somewhere deep in your bones you had known.

Eighty thousand dollars a year for three years, travel covered, visa approved, fully furnished accommodations provided, and a book deal for the discoveries and research studying flora in a largely undocumented and remote part of the jungle on another continent.

No scientist got a deal like that.

The only downside was the isolation of the location. They had electricity and running water, but you would only be able to go into town for internet every few weeks.

But the part of you that had grown up watching Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, LOST, and the deep space missions of Star Trek who had far too many plants in your apartment and in your tiny office at the university had beat back that downside. It was only three years, and after living through the strange isolation of the pandemic, you knew you could manage this where you wouldn’t be isolated from people, just for short stints from your old life.

And though you had good pieces and good people in your life, you were desperate to get away from the suffocating societal expectations you felt like you weren’t living up to while so many others around you were – marriage, kids, white picket fences, career accomplishments, tenured professorships, promotions, raises, overnight influencers, travel vloggers.

This was something no one you knew had ever done.

Everyone raved about the adventure ahead of you.

Everyone had been impressed.

You had conquered in the accomplishments department with this for the year, no question. Your older sister with her third child on the way and your younger brother and his Premiere League football contract could wallow in your shadow.

This was a golden opportunity for a research botanist still in the early years of their career.

Kneeling on the ground in the middle of the jungle with your hands folded in your lap, head bowed, surrounded by a village of people who all should have known better than to follow ancient superstitions, with a dozen or more guns trained on you in nothing more than lingerie, you were living a nightmare.

All of it had been a baited trap.

No one would even question you falling off the grid before it was too late, and even if they did, these villagers could say one day you never came back from the jungle.

And it would be true.

One afternoon and evening, a good dinner, a sleep you’d yearned for thinking it was the jet lag, and then you’d awoken screaming as the first strip of wax had been ripped from your skin to discover you were naked with a half dozen people attending to all aspects of your grooming, preparing you to be their human sacrifice for the beast that lived in the jungle.

You were past the crying and pleading.

The no WIFI had been a lie, too.

Everyone in this small village looked and acted like they lived in the present day except for this one thing.

The belief that if they did not provide the beast his human sacrifice that they would not survive his terror.

“Then why don’t you just leave?” you had implored.

“This is our home, our loved ones are here, our ancestors are part of this place, and,” their leader and the head of the research foundation paused – almost faltered before continuing to explain, “the sacrifice of one stranger will guarantee us safety for many, many years.”

Everyone else had been instructed not to speak or listen to you from that point on in the preparations.

Nails trimmed, buffed, shined. Luxurious oil that smelled delicate and heavenly rubbed over every inch of your skin from the neck down. Hair partially braided to stay out of your face with the rest left natural. Color applied to your lips. They didn’t bother with eye makeup. No jewelry.

You had been wrapped up in a linen garment that was not quite a robe but not quite a coat to be transported to the ruins of an old stone dais in the thick of the jungle but deprived of it and then pushed onto the sacrificial area, left only in the sapphire silk of a bra and panties delicately lined with lace.

After hours being poked, prodded, and prepared by strangers in a strange land in a state of dread and disbelief, you thought you were numb.

You had endured too much to think you were hallucinating, but that you now all waited illuminated by literal torches with fire made this seem almost like a season of Survivor gone horribly wrong.

But then you heard the hushed wave of whispers at the rustle and rumble of something approaching through the thick vegetation of the jungle and adrenaline shot through your veins. It didn’t inspire fight or flight. You were frozen, fixated on the beast that would finally appear and seal your fate any moment now.

It made no attempt at arriving quietly, and when it finally appeared, there were collective gasps and cries from the people gathered to watch the sacrifice, though no sound fell from your lips.

The reaction was more than warranted, and a whisper of a thought flashed through your head that you were surprised no one had screamed. Maybe they were too terrified to scream, worried they would draw the beast’s attention. You wanted to scream, but your chest was gripped in fear.

The thick, furry legs of a bull, down to the cloven hooves, and a girthy tail with a tuft of dark hair at the end, swishing slightly as he walked. There was a loincloth tied at his waist that – rather than providing modesty – inspired anyone whose gaze lingered there to imagine the bulge nudging conspicuously beneath. Not that anyone’s gaze would linger there for long, for the rest of him was altogether imposing. Only the tallest of the villagers might hope to measure up to the base of his sternum – the sternum that anchored the torso of a man with shoulders more than twice the width of a human. Skin golden from the sun stretched over muscles that burst and rippled over his chest and shoulders, extending down his arms. You could see a litany of angry scars littered up and down his left arm.

Great bull’s horns rose and curled out of his head, possibly longer than your own arms. He had a mane of long, glossy but mostly unruly brown hair, with a couple of braids, that fell past his shoulders. Though the rest of his physique inspired fear, the true terror was perhaps the face of this man beast – it was terrifyingly handsome. Strong jaw, stubbled beard, a crease between his brows, and piercing blue eyes. His expression was drawn into an ominous grin.

He was in no rush as he walked into the ring of the villagers.

“Weapons down,” he growled.

There was almost no hesitation – their purpose had been to keep you in place anyway. Though the fear in the air was palpable, the tone of it seemed to be turning to some sort of reverent fear now for everyone else.

What inspired this unquestioned obedience from an entire people? People you’d seen with smart phones as abundantly among them as any other place on earth, though you’d been advised to shut yours down and leave it behind since it would be of next to no use to you in the jungle. They were right – but had left out the true reason and made it even more believable for you to seem only cut off to those back home, not lost and gone forever.

His enormous legs took the step easily up onto the dais, and his eyes were now fixed only on you. He stopped at the foot of the altar where you were presented for him.

“Well done,” this was meant for the people and their leader.

Then he reached out and the fingers of his large hands traced the strap over your left shoulder, then along your jaw, tilting your chin to look straight up at him. “And your choice is set?”

“My – my choice?” your voice cracked, but you felt it was a miracle you even found it.

Your confusion must have been evident, as his eyes flashed with anger and her rounded on the man who had facilitated all of this. “You did not tell her anything, did you?”

“I thought it best if –“

“It is not your job to think. The thoughtlessness of your people is why we’re here at all,” he snarled. Then he turned back to you.

“No time for stories now. I’m a minotaur called Bucky; a lost soldier cursed long ago to this state. Suffice it to say II must be satiated or the village will be subjected to bloodshed and desolation in the face of my wrath. They’ve chosen you, but you can choose your fate: fuck or die. I’ll take your throat, or I’ll cut it and drink your blood in front of everyone.”

Your chest heaved in trepidation. “How is that a choice?”

“Is it not clear to you?”

“Have others chosen death?”

He nodded. “Or they refused to choose.”

You opened your mouth then closed it again.

“Do you wish to die?”

You thought your tears were spent, but you could feel them welling in your eyes. “No.”

“Then claim your choice.”

You took a shaky breath.

“Say it!” he barked.

You flinched, but managed to spit out, “Fuck.”

“Perfect. Open up.”

“In front of everyone?” your voice was barely above a whisper.

He nodded. “They will remember and mark this sacrifice. It will be the reason they continue to breathe.”

You spread your knees a part so you were still kneeling and sitting back on your heels but his to take like this.

“That’s nice but not what I meant.” He tugged his loincloth and dropped it to the ground. You whimpered, afraid of the enormous size of his cock and ashamed at the lick of heat that flared in your core at the sight of him. He leaned down closer, put a hand at the back of your neck, and slapped the side of your face with his rigid length. “You are nothing but a toy for me to fuck, little lamb. Now open your mouth for me, or I will break your jaw opening it myself.”

This drew a handful of muted gasps from the onlookers. You saw a spark of something new in his eyes at this reaction.

He was pleased at their reaction.

You dropped your mouth open for him, nervous knowing you could not take all of him, embarrassed to be on such display in front of these strangers, but wanting to please him.

Wait, you thought, wanting to please him?

He shoved his cock into your wet mouth, shoving any other thoughts immediately out.

“Suck.”

You did.

“Just like that,” he said. The hand on your neck moved up to cradle and command the back of your head. He slowly began to fuck your mouth but with only a small motion, encouraging you to continue sucking just that first bit of cock as it was in your mouth. He still was in no rush. It felt like a power play – not wanting to show impatience or lack of restraint in the onset of this sacrificial claiming.

As he continued to speak now, his voice was low, intended for you. “Get ready for more.”

You looked up at him and tried to nod your head ever so slightly. He smirked, then he brought his other hand up under your jaw and to your throat, wanting to feel himself using you. He groaned and briefly closed his eyes. His tip hit the back of your mouth, and you spluttered. He pulled out slightly, giving you half a moment to recover, then forced the point again, holding himself there while you adjusted. He opened his eyes again, locking back onto yours, and a thrill of terror shot through you again. That was only the preliminary.

Now he would truly begin.

That look was all you got. Keeping the one hand at your throat, the provided the anchor to begin truly fucking your throat, not in a rush, but he picked up the pace. You placed your hands on his thighs to steady yourself. Your muscles initially gagged in protest, but he persisted, stroking your throat with his fingers as well, coaxing you to relax. Tears spilled down your cheeks. You concentrated on breathing through your nose and the steady gaze he kept trained on you. Soon you were taking more of him than you thought you could. He quickened his thrusts into your mouth. Your fingers stretched into the fur on his hips, mewling as he continued to use your mouth.

A few short grunts with the last thrusts were the only hint before he came, shooting his hot spend in your mouth with an unrestrained howl that shook the crowd to their core. There was no way for you to swallow everything, but, if anything, seeing his cum spilling down your chin made him grin.

Then he raised his head to address the villagers. “Remember that you gave this human to me. I will do with her as I please, and you will never see her again. Hope that you never see me again in your lifetime,” his voice carried, his power unquestioned in the clearing. “If you are lucky, the children you left home today will not see me in their lifetimes either. All of you go now. What happens next is not for your eyes.”

They followed his instructions without hesitation, all of them eager to be gone from this cursed place and their collective and ignored shame.

They left the torches – no desire for a souvenir.

And now you were alone with him, the light of the flames flickering over every inch of your exposed skin – which was almost all your skin, the lingerie only for show.

With the hand that was still anchored at the back of your head, he roughly angled you up sharply to look directly up at him, and tipping his own head forward he loomed in all his height above you, a truly searing heat in this look. “I meant what I said: you are mine, and I will never allow those vile villagers to see you again. You’re mine to do with as I please.”

He stooped down to claim your mouth in a kiss. His large thumb brushed the remaining spend from your chin and then moved down your throat to brush it over your collar bone, rubbing it in. He pushed his tongue between your lips, and you opened your mouth for him again. His tongue was too big for your mouth, too, but the more he subjected your body to the largeness of his being, the more you seemed to seep into him. He used his tongue to wrap around and tangle with yours, stroking it with his, now and then slipping it further down your throat, teasing, choking, mimicking the actions of his cock not long before.

When you were truly gasping, he chuckled darkly and pulled away, you leaned forward, lips chasing his, and then you shook your head, trying to restore some logic.

Failing.

Bucky easily tore away your bra with his brute strength. “Lay back for me, lamb.”

You shifted, legs aching from resting on them in that kneeling position for far too long. He noted the care you took in moving your limbs and rubbed the muscles up and down a few times. Then he pulled your hips to the end of the alter, flush against his cock, which was already semi-hard again. You hummed as he pushed against your still-clothed core.

His hands moved from your thighs up your sides, stoking the desire surging through your body, moving up your waist, thumbs brushing up against the underswell of your breasts, then flicking over the nipples, bringing them to little peaks before diving down to lave one of them with his tongue and suck, rolling, twisting, and pinching the other with his hand. Then he moved his mouth, and as he latched on to the other nipple, his hands worked the lace and silk panties off your hips and down your legs before tossing them away. He rutted up against you again, slow but persistent pressure against your core again, but now with no barrier he felt your arousal slicking up your entrance. When you began working your hips against him, seeking more friction, fisting your hands into his hair, he moved a hand between your legs, stroking over your labia and pushing one of his fingers right into your cunt, making you keen immediately from the force and fullness.

“Going to ruin you, lamb, but don’t want to hurt you.” He was brutal, but only because he was a monster by nature, not because he was heartless. “Gotta work your tiny pussy open so you can take me like you were meant to.”

As before, he was patient, making up for the impatience mounting inside you as he worked his fingers into you, circling, questing, stretching, twisting. When he pushed three fingers in he could tell it was a lot, but he knew he needed you to easily receive four if he was going to get to fuck you on his cock the way he wanted. All through it, he was relentless in overwhelming you in other ways, continuing to worship your breasts, but also murmuring praises against your skin, and threatening and promising filthy things that you couldn’t even respond to.

When you were thoroughly primed, aching for him, a mess with tears and begging for him, he finally realigned his hips between your legs, forcing your thighs wide to accommodate him. He bumped the head of his cock against your throbbing clit a couple of times, making your whimper repeatedly. You were lost as you lay splayed out above him, eyes tightly shut, hands reaching for him, desperately pleading his name over and over. He bent down to you again, relishing the feel of your breasts brushing against his chest for one more moment before sinking his cock into your cunt with a brutal thrust, pushing clear to the hilt, making you scream. It was wicked, and he knew it, but also knew how much he had worked up your body and your mind, and he was rewarded as you arched beneath him, and wrapped your arms around his neck, adjusted your hips, and then rocked against him, clearly seeking more.

Holding you at the precipice of pleasure for so long meant you crashed into your first orgasm very quickly as he pushed his cock in and out of your, “tight heat, little lamb, taking me so well,” he cooed. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, shuddering as he fucked your through it, groaning at the feel of your walls around him. “No one else will ever have this cunt now,” he vowed. “You’re mine.”

“Mine,” you echoed without thinking, not knowing it was exactly how he wanted his pet to feel about him. He pushed you over the edge into another orgasm and then spilled his hot seed inside you not long after. You were beyond spent, at that point, and less than a minute after he scooped you up, tucking your legs around his waist, you dropped out of consciousness, and went totally limp. He kissed the top of your head, then shifted you to sling you over his shoulder for the trek to his lair – your home. He’d secure you there, then go back to the get the wooden crate of the belongings you had shipped ahead of you and the bag you had traveled with – both were supposed to be deposited and waiting in a cave, the final part of his negotiations for acquiring his new human from that village and their foolish leader. Humans were delicate creatures with peculiar needs, after all, and he was determined to keep you content and fucked out until you were devoted to staying with him until the end of your days.

But the last hour had exceeded even his own expectations. He suspected he wouldn’t have to try very hard to keep his little lamb.

NEXT PART: Do You Remember

"haunting thoughts" on Sacrificial for the Dark Forest Fest

brief insight into what reader's life is like now

physical appearance of Minotaur!Bucky

easy and challenging parts of writing the fic

the writing of the story from concept to completion in one night

↠ Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

[klausysworld]

My latest obsession

Part 1

(Written from Klaus Mikaelson’s perspective)

Over the course of a thousand years relationships have come and gone without any trouble.

Tatia was first, though she chose my brother, I loved her to an extent. But when I think of her now I could never imagine wanting her, whether that is due to my other interactions with her doppelgängers I do not know.

Then it was Aurora. She was the first person to accept me, to learn my secrets and love me anyway. Aurora was the first to break my heart but not the last.

I fell in love time and time again, often the one I longed for was just out of reach. I grew to enjoy the chase, the thrill of burn. Once I had what I wanted, I struggled to ever let it go.

The first girl I had grown significantly attached to was one from a low status family and at the time I was regarded rather highly. Her mother had been working for me and had begged for a job for her daughter and with the push from Elijah I accepted. Her daughter was so scared all of the time, so skittish and apologetic that it was pathetic. But for some reason I enjoyed it. I liked to see how frightened I could get her, how close before I was touching her. It took much longer to get her into my bed compared to other woman of my past but the wait, the hunt had made it seem all that much more worth it. Nothing had felt better than finally having her after so long.

For a small while it was amazing. She was mine and she knew it. However once her mother found out, she was both petrified and horrified. She didn’t want us together, that much was abundantly clear.

I wasn’t sure where the anger had come from but when she kept trying to take my love away, the rage built. One thing lead to another and I had to kill her, Elijah was furious and my girl was distraught that her mother was dead, more so that it was my fault. I was willing to wait for her to grieve but Elijah, the Nobel and considerate Elijah, decided to ‘help’ her.

When I found out she was gone, I couldn’t stop myself from hunting her. She kept running and so I had to make sure that she couldn’t.

The snap of her neck rings through my head to this day, and the reminder of my inhuman strength.

Elijah was daggered for him part in her death and I moved away again.

Rebekah and Kol were both awake for the next girl. They both learned the hard way to not take her from me.

It became a pattern that every couple centuries, when we settled somewhere for too long, that I would attach my feelings to someone. Of course there were girls in between but love only came with the obsession.

However as time continued, I loved much less, felt less in general. I could feel myself becoming colder and I gradually became more calculated.

I rarely slept with the same woman more than three times unless I they were my witch, in that case I would keep them around satisfied before inevitably killing them.

Death was a quick and easy way to get rid of someone. I leant to kill the ones that I loved so that I could move on. Unhealthy? Perhaps, but effective nonetheless.

I hadn’t become attached to anyone is nearly over 300 years and I certainly didn’t plan to.

I didn't plan to do a lot of things.

However, when word spread of my doppelgänger being alive and ready to sacrifice, I ended up back in the dreaded town known as Mystic Falls. I had promised to only return to this part of the world under absolutely necessary circumstances after the memories that haunted the land.

My curse being broken was the most necessary situation.

Arrangements were made and I arrived in Virginia for both my doppelgängers, a werewolf and a vampire. I had already acquired my witch and she was more than eager, in many aspects.

Body-jumping was an old trick of mine. It was one that inexperienced supernaturals fell for easily. The spell went smoothly, I transferred myself in the vessel of Alaric Saltzman. He was close enough to the doppelgänger that he would be in on everything but not so close that they would notice if he behaved a little oddly, besides he had an excuse. He and his girlfriend were going through a rough patch. His ex-wife, Isobel told me all about it.

The town was dingy and had very little to do, a bar: the Mystic Grill-creative-, a primary school and highschool who were also recognised as the TimberWolves-ironic-, then quiet little businesses like coffee shops and flower boutiques. It was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else's business and involve themselves as much as possible.

Not my kind of place. I didn't plan to stay long.

That plan went down the drain almost instantly once I saw her. She hadn't been at the school when I was teaching as Alaric and Katerina had only briefly mentioned her as she wasn't "anything special". Oh Katerina couldn't have been more wrong.

Knocking on the Salvatore's door and being greeted my Damon was the lowest point of my day though it surely skyrocketed when my eyes met hers. Y/n, I knew her name to be, immediately came over with a smile painted across her cherry lips. The body I was in went stiff and the inhalation of air I had just taken got trapped at the back of my throat when her arms went round my midsection. I let out the breath and took in another through my nose letting the rich, sweet, fruity, and sensual scent invade me.

Damon pulled her away with a grumble before I could react properly and she went and sat beside my old friend Stefan.

I cursed myself internally. Now was not the time to become focused on a girl. I needed to break my curse, build my army and eventually an empire. I needed to focus on the Bennett witch's plan however my gaze kept wondering over to Y/n.

Her features aligned themselves perfectly, her expression showing traces of anxiety making her little nose twitch like a bunny's as she leaned against Stefan's side for comfort. My eyes drifted to the smoothness of her neck, the desire to drag my teeth along it made my mouth water and my blood to rush lower. I sighed to myself and tried to regain focus but I kept looking back to her. My vision following the curve of her ample breasts. My jaw clenched at the way they pressed against each other and showed out of the top of her blouse. Continuing down her body remained exquisite, the way her hips were moulded made me want to grab them, I longed to have her on my lap. The plumpness of her ass would feel so good against my hands and the thickness of her thighs would wrap beautifully round my head.

My breathing was laboured and I had to close my eyes to gain some composure.

Everyone else left fairly quickly to get ready for the decade dance, Y/n included however Damon had grabbed my shoulder with an amused smirk on his face.

"Isn't it against some sort of code to be attracted to your students Ric?" He laughed, passing me a glass of bourbon. I cleared my throat and clenched my jaw before denying his accusation. But the bastard wouldn't let up. "Hey man I get it. We've all thought about her like that. Who wouldn't? She could be a goddamn pornstar-" He joked, at least I tell myself he was joking so that I didn't rip his throat out right there and then.

"Aren't you in love with Elena?" I questioned, brows high as I gave him a look and he shrugged.

"Wouldn't stop me from fucking Y/n" he muttered with a dazed expression as he imagined it. I couldn't help the rage forming within me but I bit it back and managed to get out.

Katerina knew something was up as soon as I stepped foot inside but kept her trap shut after I strangled her for questioning me. I was able to prepare myself and briefly push Y/n out of my mind as I went to the dance. She was out of sight which confused me but I pushed it to the back of my mind and followed through my plan to get the Bennett witch alone.

I had assumed my plan successful when Bonnie collapsed, blood trickling down her face and heart no longer beating. And so I made my way out of the building only to come face to face with my sweet girl. She scrambled to halt and looked up at me with nothing but panic in those round eyes of hers. I could feel a smile twitch at my lips as she bolted to her right and decided to indulge.

I chased her throughout the school, being in a human body made it a little trickier but all as much entertaining. I let out a laugh when I saw a window hanging open and put my head through it to see her running along the street opposite.

Smart little bunny.

I couldn't wait to be in my own form.

And soon enough, I was.

Just to my luck she was at the grill when I arrived. Sat with some humans that I didn't recognise while Damon and Alaric sipped their drinks and glanced over to her.

I made my approach, a couple gentle warnings and then ordered my girl a 'sex on the beach' cocktail. I placed it on the table in front of her, leaning right over the top of her to do so. Two of the girls she was with went pink and wide eyed as they became bashful. Y/n lifted her head back to look up at me and went a similar state. Her mouth gaped a couple of times making me smile and caress her shoulder as I made my way out of the grill.

I listened as her friends began to gush and ask who I was and she of course had no idea until Damon came and pulled her away, revealing the truth.

I stopped by her house before the ritual for my curse. I knocked the door and her parents answered. Before any questions could begin I compelled them to invite me in. Silly Bunny, not ensuring they intake vervain. I compelled them to ignore my presence whenever I was there and that was exactly what they did. Just pretended that I wasn't there.

I headed for her bedroom, rolling my eyes at the amount of pictures pinned against her walls and the mountain of teddy bears in their own corner of the room. I sat down at her vanity and opened the drawer revealing the abundance of makeup and perfume. I smelt each one to figure out which was the one that she was wearing when she hugged me.

Once I found it, I took a photo and put everything back. I pulled a single white rose out from the inside pocket of my jacket and placed it on top of the desk before leaving.

She was there at the ritual, she gave my brother a helpless look as he apologised for not killing me. Then we vanished and I finally shifted into my wolf for the first time in a thousand years.

It was a wonderfully freeing experience, being able to tear people and animals to shreds without a single care in the world. Elijah was cleaning up every last drop of blood, every paw print I left in the dirt, every bloody hair that I shed. Honestly at some points I wondered which one of us was supposed to be the dog.

The was only a short time gap where my wolf must have taken full control, but I knew exactly where it had taken me. I was sat on the street opposite Y/n's house and all I wanted to do was get her. I always had strong urges when I became obsessive but I assume this other half of me must've doubled down on those instincts because I got into that house within seconds. Elijah whisper yelled at me the entire time but was unable to get inside himself. My claws tapped against the wooden steps before I pushed her door open with my nose.

A low sound vibrated from my chest as I laid my eyes upon her sleeping form. The duvet was covering her entire body but her face was exposed, eyes closed and features relaxed. My body moved through her room with ease and stepped onto her double bed. It was smaller than my usual choice making it a little tight to lay down beside her but I just about fit in this form. I lay my chin against the crook of her neck and rest my eyes until the sun began to rise. Her sweet smell travelled throughout my system making my mind spin and blood rush.

I left early in the morning so she wouldn't wake with an animal in her bed, though part of me wanted to remain there regardless and entertain myself with her reaction. But alas, I did not.

I continued to terrorise a couple surrounding villages before eventually collapsing into a heap of exhaustion.

When I woke I was back in my usual human like form. A sense of exhilaration filled me at the knowledge of my achievement. Elijah wasn't exactly pleased with me but I didn't particularly care. He continued to pester me about our family and I ignored him as usual, my mind instead drifting back to Y/n.

Courting women had changed significantly through the centuries. I remember when a simple conversation with one's father would be enough for marriage. A few shiny pieces of jewellery and a nice dress and they would drop to their knees thinking I was an angel. Chasing girls now took a little more effort, flattery and gifts were still a definite yes however for whatever reason they had to be constantly reassured of my feelings which would be a tad more difficult if things went according to plan and I was driving through North Carolina. However luckily, living as long as I have meant that I had a way with words, poems and letters along with flowers and other treats would have her heart racing all the same before I returned with my hybrids and took her for myself.

And that was exactly what I did.

I sent a bouquet of white roses each week along with a hand written note and a range of little gifts. It sated me enough as the days flew by of tracking down werewolves. I admit my spirits lowered when I experiment failed, my anger may have gotten the better of me for a split moment and I made sure to inform my dearest darling of what had occurred and how I planned to overcome the situation.

Things seemed to get a little better and then they got a lot worse.

Which was how I ended up driving a truck with my whining sister beside me and a more dead than usual Stefan in the back. The fucker had been keeping the doppelgängers survival a secret which was enough of a betrayal that I could ruin his life and still sleep like a baby.

Besides, I got to see my girl at the Senior Prank Night or whatever the stupid highschool tradition was in this town.

What wasn't good?

I found her in a classroom kissing a boy. A boy that was unfamiliar to be and completely irrelevant.

How on earth could she give herself to another when she so obviously obtained my affections, my love by this point. Were the diamond earrings and perfectly executed drawings of her not enough of a sign? Perhaps she was just crazy.

Didn't matter, I fixed it.

The boy was dead without a second thought and I dragged her screaming body into the gym where everyone else was. I left her on the ground against the wall while I continued to play out my theories.

She sobbed the entire bloody time.

Eventually I snapped and had her by the shoulders, holding her up so she couldn't reach the ground. Elena was whining to no end and Stefan was letting his emotions get the better of him but I ignored them as my eyes locked onto Y/n's watery ones.

"I will hurt you if you don't stop" I murmured, my voice purposely quiet so the others wouldn't hear our exchange. Unfortunately she still didn't shut up and my grip got tighter until she was surely bruising. I watched as she bit her tongue in an attempt to stop a cry leaving her and I slowly softened my hold as she choked and hiccuped her sounds down. I sat her back down on the floor and caressed her head gently "Don't run and don't speak" I ordered before turning back to the task at hand.

I caught sight of Rebekah who was already staring back at me with a small smirk playing on her lips. I brushed past her and told her to shut her mouth as I made my way to the ripper.

By the end of the evening Tyler was officially my first successful hybrid. And, as I had assumed, he was sired to me. I had Elena, Y/n and Rebekah in my car and we were on the way to the hospital. Rebekah had been trying to get Y/n to say something for five minutes now and I could tell my girl just wanted to be at home but she wouldn't be going there as of right now.

I pulled up outside of the hospital and told Rebekah to have the nurses take as much of Elena's blood as they could without her dying. Then I turned round to see Y/n looking back at me with wide eyes. I unclipped my belt and reached over my seat to reach her. A whimper of distress broke from her as I pulled her out of her seat and onto my lap. Her body was tense but she was smart enough not to pull away just yet.

I sighed and leaned back with her in my hold. She wouldn't understand how much I had needed that. My hand slid up along her arm, my eyes glancing to the already forming bruises from where I'd grabbed her. The deepening violet looked so beautiful against her skin, I stroked along it soothingly with a small hum.

"I do wish you hadn't been with that boy" I muttered and she sniffed. "What was his name?" I asked and she made a small sound of upset,

"Elliot" She whispered to me

"Elliot" I repeated, letting the bitterness of his name linger on my tongue, "What was so special about Elliot?"

"I dunno...he was nice" she sniffled and I let out a small chuckle

"Someone like you should never settle for 'nice' " I told her and she frowned making me feel the crease of her skin between her brows with my fingertip.

"What would I settle for if not nice?" she asked quietly making me smile and caress her cheek, not reacting to how she flinched at the contact.

"You'll learn to settle for me" I mumble "Even if it takes you a while to realise it. You'll love me." I tell her with a hum.

"Why?" she whispered and I tilted my head asking for her to say a little more. "Why do you want me to love you so bad?"

"Haven't you read my letters?" I questioned and she nodded "Perhaps you didn't read them properly. They should explain why." I answer and I know I'm right. I tell her a hundred different ways why I love her and why we shall be together, she just has to look for them.

One day she'll understand.

(This is gonna be a multiple part story from Klaus’s perspective. I just wanted to try out writing from his point of view. I’m aware that it needs more work but this is my first shot at it❤️)

[kjupchurch-xx]

Conflicting Feelings Part Two

Author's Note: Wow! I was expecting negative feedback from Conflicting Feelings and I'm absolutely blown away at how it's been received on WattPad, especially Tumblr. I'm thankful to each and everyone of you that takes the time out to read my stories. They're literally my own personal fantasies in my mind, so I wasn't expecting others to enjoy them as much as I obviously do. But thank you for all of the love! 

The night had flown by as we laid on the sofa holding one another in silence. I felt his breathing steady, looking up slightly to see him sleeping. I sighed. I didn't know what to say or what to feel. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved him. The problem is the guilt I feel knowing that my friendship with him is what caused his marriage to collapse. I'm well aware that I can't control someone else's emotions or actions, and I know that throughout the course of our friendship, I did nothing wrong but the thoughts still consume me. 

Had he never met me, would his marriage be ending? Would he have found solace in another person?  I'd always envisioned that if this were to ever become a reality, it would be done very differently. This is not what I wanted, but did I want him? Absolutely. Truth be told, I'd never wanted anything more. 

I tilted my head, looking at him as I softly caressed his beard sighing to myself as I anxiously chewed at my bottom lip. I pulled my phone from my pocket, clicking on social media to see the news of their split had hit the internet. I shook my head, putting my phone beside me. I knew their marriage wasn't the most loving. Every premiere we'd go to for his movies, even his musicals, Deb never seemed interested. She could always be found in the crowd dozed off, being shaken awake just in the nick of time to give him a round of applause at the end. He knew this. I was always the one cheering, watching his every move even if I was bored out of my mind. I was the one who would spend hours going over lines with him when I had zero involvement in the film or play he was doing. When she would try to talk him out of certain scripts, I'd encourage them, not to spite her but because I knew he would make it a hit. 

My supportive nature was what he craved the most. He craved someone that believed in him, pushed him to do better and to further his career, and for years, ever since she tried talking him out of the X-Men script calling it a flop, he never received it from her. When his father passed and all she could manage to do was say she was sorry was when he started to realize the younger woman that had his back and supported him in every aspect of his life, even when she herself wasn't interested. The effect it had on him drove him mad and he couldn't continue denying his feelings. 

 I wrapped my arms tightly around him, closing my eyes as  took his scent in, "If you only knew how much I love you..." I said, barely above a whisper. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Including flying halfway across the world. I just wish things could be different..." I finished with a deep shaky breath.

His grip tightened on me, "That's the thing. Things are different." He said softly as I lifted my head to look up at him. "How long have you been awake?" I asked, furrowing my brows slightly. 

He chuckled, "Long enough to hear what you said.", I nodded with a chuckle, "Touche." 

He cleared his throat, "Let me take you to lunch tomorrow." 

I lifted myself off of him, quickly shaking my head no, "Absolutely not. Are you crazy?" I yelled. 

He rolled his eyes, "Why do you act as if being with me is such a bad thing?" He asked getting defensive, his words dripping with hurt. 

I looked at him, lowering my voice, "Hugh, that's not what I'm saying." 

He looked at, throwing his hands up in defeat, "It's not?! What are you saying then?!" he shouted at me. 

I rolled my eyes becoming annoyed at his shouting, "I'm saying news of your separation made headlines today. I don't think the smartest thing in the world would be for my face to be blasted all over the internet as a mistress just because I had lunch with you."

He calmed down, sighing, running his fingers through his hair, "Why do you all of a sudden give a shit about people's opinions?" 

I sighed, "Look, I know you don't get it. People not liking me is fine. But people humiliating me and possibly canceling me before I can fully kick start my career because they assume I'm some dirty mistress is different." I said honestly.  He looked at me and I knew judging by his expression that he understood my hesitance. "I'm just saying we need to lay low and look as platonic as possible right now. Let's let some time pass before we start advertising this to the world." 

He nodded, giving his shoulders a shrug, relaxing a little. "If you want to get take out, we can do that. I would love to have lunch with you, I'm just not ready to be ripped in half by the press yet." I said softly, caressing the side of his check. "That's all it is. I would never say that being with you is a bad thing. I love you with all of my heart. We just need to give it more than one day after a separation has been announced. At least a few months." 

He nodded once more, pulling me onto his lap. "I know you're right. It's just difficult when I've already been waiting two years for this." He said annoyingly, resting his head in the crook of my neck. 

I laughed softly, pressing a kiss on the top of his hair, resting my chin atop of his head. "I know, I know. Just trust me, you do not want the press printing that you've got a girlfriend the same day your soon to be ex-wife announces your separation." 

I felt him smile against my neck, "Okay, maybe you're right." He mumbled, against my neck causing me to laugh, squirming. "What? What's so funny?" He asked, caressing my neck with his face. 

He knew what I was laughing at. 

"Your beard. It tickles." I said through laughter. "Does it?" He asked cheekily, continuing to rub his face into my neck causing me to try and get off of his lap, but he kept his grip on my waist, preventing me from moving. "Where do you think you're goin', love?" He asked with an amusing tone. 

"Away from you. Stop messing with me." I said continuing to laugh while struggling to get out of his grip. 

He smirked, "Stop messing with you? How should I mess with you then? Like this?" He asked, pulling us down to the sofa as he pressed his forehead against mine, looking deeply into my eyes, with a smile plastered on his face. 

His eyes went from my eyes down to my lips, then back up to my eyes. "I love you." He said sweetly, "I love you." I assured him, as I felt his hands cup both sides of my cheeks and his lips land on mine. 

[masuchu]

“𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆?” [WRIOTHESLEY]

what happens when your gaze is hopelessly bound to those seemingly innocent, but inexplicably lewd handcuffs your boyfriend constantly carries around with him? ‧₊˚

genre. smut! nothing actually happens, but the entire thing is extremely suggestive, mentions of bondage & punishment, manhandling lol

pairing. wriothesley x reader

love, masu. ah, i think this is an amazing way to get myself back into writing on this blog again! my real writing style is finally being shown haha, none of that sickly, too cute stuff. hope you enjoy!!!!! let me know if you want a part two :))

Wriothesley always spoke with such a sultry, sickening tone that left you feeling your heartbeat in places you usually do not. Perhaps the gentle rasp was what left you so at his mercy? Or maybe, the simple yet defined vocabulary he used when explaining his day, or in other, more intimate moments, what he would like to do to you.

Having said all of this, why could you care not a shred for his words this very moment? Why were absolutely none of his sentences registering in you hazed mind? Instead of paying attention like a lover should, you had your hungry eyes pinned on those alluring, metal cuffs dangling from his belt. The images they conjure, the activities they connote: it all left you salivating and shuddering in the office of the infamous Duke. (Or in terms more personal to you, your lover.)

“Like I said, the prisoners become rowdy when they get bored. I’ll need to implement— Sweetheart, are you listening?” Wriothesley’s eyes dragged across your abnormal, quivering form and he mentally concluded that something was … distracting you.

You jumped out of fear of your daydreams being exposed, but also in mild concern of the daydreams themselves and their insatiable nature. Nodding fast like a guilty toddler, you blurted,

“Oh, I have never been better! Whatever gives you the impression I am not okay?”

The man in question took a careful glance at your wide, doe eyes and stiff form. Suddenly, his head tipped back just an inch or two, and a low chuckle departed from his lips. (The action having a much more arousing effect on your nether regions than you would ever admit.)

“I said ‘are you listening’, not ‘are you okay’. Well done for exposing yourself, sweetness.”

If only he knew what else you were hiding, you thought gravely to yourself. In a naïve belief that he had unknowingly saved you from a mortifying admission, you attempted to go along with his interpretation of your abnormality.

“How silly of me! I really am not with it-!”

Your hips were suddenly locked in solid grip, hard enough to invoke deep, purple bruises along your skin, and you were yanked into a firm but comfortable chest. A chest you knew all too well.

“Also, don’t think I didn’t noticed the way you were looking at my handcuffs, pretty. Got something you wanna’ tell me?”

“You’re mistaken, I— It was simply a one time glance! Absolutely nothing to do with—!”

Your boyfriend removed one hand from your waist and weaved the remaining arm tightly around your waist entirely, keeping you firm against him. His now free hand took a delicate hold of your jaw, and whilst lifting it up his face travelled closer to yours. His hot breath fanned over your lips, and all you wanted for him to rearrange your guts then and there.

“Ah, and now you’re lying? Lying is not very becoming, especially not on you. It makes you bad, and do you know what I do to bad girls?”

His ragged yet stylish hair, his impenetrable, piercing eyes, his strong hold on your body. The physique of a God, you thought. Every aspect of him, how his eyes were intently fixes on yours, waiting for you to answer his question, to use your words— as he was always so keen on you doing. It all came together to allow you to blurt out such a meek, pitiful and uncertain whimper,

“You punish them, Your Grace?”

A devilish smirk tugged on his lips.

“Clever girl. Your little … imaginations might just be brought to life far earlier then you expected. Now strip.”

2023 © masuchu , do not repost, reword, plagiarise, take inspiration, translate or share my work anywhere!

[reddesires]

Hiii, I would like to start by telling you that the way you write is really good!!! 💗 I really appreciate the hard work you put into each of your writings thank you for all of your work🫶🏻. Now I came here te speak up for my Caesar girlies ( including myself🤗)we need ( or at least I NEED) some NSFW alphabet head cannons!!!

Caesar NSFW Alphabet

[Caesar x Human!Reader]

A/N: hehe 🤭 writing for Caesar always got me giggling and kicking my feet. Thank you so much for the support. It means the world to me! And I want to thank everyone who has been my avid supporters. You're the reason why I'm motivated to keep writing ❤️ love you guys

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Caesar is definitely a gentleman when it comes to Aftercare. He'll soothingly rub your aches if the sex was too rough and bring you sustenance. you can tell he's a big softie when it comes to your needs, you are his mate and he'll do anything to make sure your comfortable and satisfied in every way (if you know what i mean 🤭)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is hands, he likes the way you crumble when he has his hands on your body, when his fingers are inside of you and your struggling to contain your moans make him go wild. He's definitely a boobie guy. He likes watching the way your boobs bounce with every thrust of his hips and how malleable they feel in his hands. You are absolutely perfect.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Yeah, he's a breeder LOL he's gonna cum inside of you every chance he gets, I mean it's innate for him so he can't really help it plus he likes to watch the way his seed drips out of you. The thought of you carrying his child really gets him going.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There is times when he goes hunting and you will be ovulating at the time and your smell really gets to him so when he has time away from the others during the hunt, he'll masturbate just so he won't be distracted by your scent.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

At first, not so much, he's never been with a human before, but he's a fast learner, and it'll seem like he always knew. He'll know how to fuck you in all the right ways, you'll never leave the nest unsatisfied, he knows everything there is to know about your body.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary, he likes watching the expressions you make while he pounds into you, how you wrap your legs around his tapered waist. He also likes watching how your boobs bounce.

If he's really in the mood, your on all fours and he's fucking you nice and hard just so he could really hear your moans echo throughout the nest and if you beg him enough he'll pull your hair if you want it rough (you obviously taught him that one)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not all honestly, Caesar is very down to business when it comes to fucking you. Mating with him is usually sensual or rough, it really depends on his mood but either way your totally down for it (I mean who wouldn't he's fucking hot)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's an ape. He's got hair all over LOL

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Caesar can be stoic but he definitely has a romantic side to him, he has his moments where he'll show you how much he adores you, you are after his chosen mate and he cares for you very deeply. All you have to do is ask, and he'll be gentle with you all night long if he has to.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Caesar is the kind where he'll keep it on the downlow when he's jacking off but he's totally not above masterbating when he thinks of you and your not there to satisfy him but you can bet you'll be getting dicked down when you do come back.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding Kink - Like I said before, he likes to cum into you whenever he gets the chance, it's only natural to him plus it feel so damn good. The thought of you carrying his children only encourages this Kink.

Mutual masturbation - He'll watch as you touch yourself basically torturing the both of you as he jacks off himself, it'll go on until finally he snaps and absolutely fucks you into elated delirium.

Hair Pulling - When you first suggested it, he was hesitant since he didn't want to hurt you in any way but when he finally gave in and tried it, it seemed like it awoke something in him and now you don't even need to ask twice.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He'll do it anywhere, he doesnt care if your nowhere near the nest, he'll fuck you in the forest, behind the horse stables, behind some random tree for all he cares, your gonna get that dick regardless.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your scent could pretty much gets him going, especially when you're ovulating it makes him go pretty much feral. He'll be in your personal space not even caring that the others are staring at his blatant display of affection as he's burying his face in your hair and you embarrassedly try to ignore the eyes watching you two.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that could hurt you, he refuses to inflict any type of pain that isn't enjoyable onto you. Also, nothing involving bodily excrement. He's just sophisticated like that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to giving, he'll eat your pussy like he pro, he just knows how to work his tongue. He loves the taste of you and to edge you to your limit, the grip you have to fur on his head and the cage your legs illude to drives him crazy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood. If he's stressed from his duties as the ape king, the tension catching up to him and needing an outlet, he'll fuck you fast and rough with all intention of leaving you a panting and sore mess.

If you tease him to his limit, then expect to be bent over wherever you two are. He'll show you what happens when you test him.

But there is also times where he's slow and sensual, when you are in need of a sturdy and loving sex session or when he feels like you really deserved to be worshipped by him as your chosen mate.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn't too big on Quickies, he enjoys taking his time with it but he isn't opposed to it when there's little time to indulge and you insist on it, he's weak when it comes to you seducing him after all you are his mate and he thinks your sexy as hell.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yeah, he is. He's open to doing whatever your willing to teach him, afterall he enjoys pleasing you and he enjoys learning new ways to make you hot and bothered.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

At first he didn't last long but overtime he built up the stamina just so sex was more pleasurable for you, since your a human and it takes more time for you to cum he wanted to take that into account so you enjoyed it as much as he did.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, unfortunately since the decline of the human population that also means the disappearance of toys to try out 😪 but you'll always have the hands and magical tongue of Caesar.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He'll have his moments where he'll tease the hell out of you, he's very smug and coy about it.

I mean he does enjoy to deny the two of you of touching each other until it's almost tortuous so he's down to tease you just cause.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not really loud himself, grunting and low sounds of pleasure escaping him at most besides it's hot to hear him lose himself while he's inside of you right into your ear.

Now you are a whole other story, he better hear your moans for all to hear, he doesn't give a fuck what they think afterall he is too deep inside of you to even care.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He does enjoy pushing your panties to the side and fucking you that way, for some reason he just finds it incredibly sexy. He especially loves it when you two are outside of the nest, your panties are definitely being pulled to the side.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's about average, 4-5 inches, but he serves girth! Baby! And you'll most definitely be feeling him in all the right ways since he knows how to dick you down just right.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He gives you about 3 rounds, but there's always too much of a good thing, so the minimum is a good 3 rounds. But if we're talking Oral wise, yeah, he can go as long as you can take it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He waits for you to fall asleep. He enjoys watching your sleeping face. He, in general, always watches you fall asleep in his arms, gently soothing the skin on your cheek admiring his mate in all you perfect glory. He loves you so much.

[casuallyawkardd]

In His Vice

Pairing: Dark!Miguel O'Hara x Wife!Reader

Summary: Something seems different this time when Miguel comes home late

Warnings: non-con in terms of pretending to be someone else, lowkey gaslighting, me attempting to write suspense, not fluent in Spanish so correct me if I mess up

A/N: I made the executive decision to write this fic in a first person perspective because I feel like that adds to the horror aspect so don't come for me. If you enjoy, be sure to join the taglist! Dividers by cafekitsune

I could hear the wind outside, whistling as it shook the trees and bushes. When the weather woman had said there would be a storm tonight, I hadn't expected it to be this bad. Lightning could be seen in the distance, the sound of thunder following after. It took a second more this time, hopefully meaning the storm was going to pass quickly. The television had become background noise, my attention focused on the window as I watched the rain streak down the glass.

Today had been one of those days, the kind where I couldn't wait for it to be over. I had woken up on the wrong side of the bed, a recurring nightmare waking me at three in the morning; its contents making it difficult to fall back asleep, so I inevitably decided to start the day early. Coffee and an aspirin did little to help the headache I'd been developing over the last few days, deadlines at work materializing the throbbing just behind my eyes.

Miguel had seemed to take notice of my struggles, taking over breakfast duty and getting Gabriela ready for school. The feeling of his kiss still lingered on my temple, my fingers now massaging the spot absentmindedly.

"I'm gonna be a little late tonight," he told me, gently prying the emptied mug from my hands and taking it to the sink with the other dishes.

"But what about Gaby's soccer game?" I asked, the look of remorse on his face telling me he had forgotten. "Honey, this is the one that determines if they qualify for the championship. It's a big deal for her."

"I know, mi corazón," he soothed, but I pulled away from his touch. Quiet fell over the kitchen then, Gaby's happy giggles heard from the room over. "Y/N, look at me," he said and I reluctantly turned. Soft brown eyes looked back at me, the hand rubbing my back reassuring. "You know work's been hell lately, my boss really wants me to finish this project. After that, I promise I'll make it up to you and Gaby." That's what he always said. "I know things have been.. tense between us lately, but-"

"Let's not talk about this right now," I interrupted him, hiding the pang in my chest when a look of defeat crossed his features. I had every right to be mad at him. This wasn't the first time he had forgotten. It wasn't just about this soccer game, it was about every forgotten soccer game, birthday party and date night before. Was I happy my husband had gotten the promotion he rightly deserved? Of course, but had I known just how much his job would take away from our family, I would have suggested he negotiate terms.

Which was why I held my tongue as he and Gaby left the house. In hindsight, I could've been kinder to Miguel. Could have turned my head as he leaned in for a kiss, said 'I love you' when he whispered the same phrase in my ear. With no way to turn back time, I figured I could redeem myself tomorrow. He was always quick to forgive.

The rest of the day was as mundane as any, the stress from the deadline had seeped into my very being, becoming familiar as I submitted my final drafts. Then I was left with nothing, returning to the start of the vicious cycle that came with the job. At least I got to clock out early, meaning I had time to spend with Gaby.

She was a bundle of excitement, squealing when she saw I had come to pick her up early from preschool. Relatives always told me she'd grow up fast; I found that to be true. Expected to start kindergarten next year and she was already being mistaken for a second grader. Her father's doing most likely, maybe she'd end up being as tall as him someday. Sharp as a whip too, but that trait I always said came from me.

We decided on a mommy-daughter date at a nearby cafe, one I knew Gaby would like. The owner's cat loved to brush against her legs, mewling until I told her it was alright to give him a dollop of whipped cream. Keep her happy until she saw her papi wasn't at her game. She was disappointed, the bounce in her step fading when she came up to me afterwards, frowning in confusion.

"Papi?"

"Not today, sweetheart," I offered her a sympathetic smile, "work needed his help very badly. You understand, yeah?"

Gaby nodded, but I knew my daughter well enough to know she was still bothered, "I wanted to show Papi that I used the move he showed me."

"Well you can show him after dinner, right?" The idea seemed to help perk her up, the two of us walking hand in hand back to the car to head home.

Only Miguel didn't make it home for dinner. Odd but not uncommon, unfortunately. It wasn't until it neared Gabriela's bedtime that I felt something was wrong. He's always home in time to put her to bed. A nagging feeling started in the back of my mind. He wasn't answering his cell either, going to voicemail instantly. After promising Gaby that I'd send him in to kiss her goodnight later, she finally settled and I took my post on the couch. Which is where I've been up until now.

A quick glance at my phone told me it was nearing one in the morning, that nagging feeling became something more. Something that dug into my gut and constricted my chest. The amount of missed calls he had was probably bordering on the edge of warranted worry and psychotic spouse. The thought of calling the police made my fingers itch, but I abstained. Miguel's a big guy, he can take care of himself...right? I winced as my teeth bit into the skin around my fingernails, pulling my hand away to assess the damage. It was a nervous habit I couldn't seem to shake, the cuticles an ugly red from irritation.

Then came the sound of a click, followed by the ominous crash of thunder. It was quiet, I almost didn't notice, but it was a new sound compared to the rain, thunder and static of the TV. My heart lurched forward, taking me with it as I rushed to the entry hallway. In the dark, I could make out a figure. Large and imposing, it hunched in front of the main door of the house, grunting as it shifted about in the black of the hall. I had become so paranoid that the sight left me momentarily speechless, throat suddenly dried when I tried speaking.

"Miguel?" was what I managed to get out.

The movements stopped, tension rising around me as the figure stood to its full height. I almost back pedaled as it approached, step by agonizing step coming closer and closer to me. The air around me felt thick, hard to breathe until the glow of the TV revealed this intruder.

"It's you," Miguel's voice rattled my eardrum, reminding me to breathe. "Why are you still up?"

"Where have you been?" I demanded, forcing my voice to remain at a reasonable volume. "Do you know how late it is?"

Miguel's expression hardened, not answering me right away and keeping me on the edge of my seat. I searched every inch of his face for a reason, a tell to let me know what had kept him, and yet I saw nothing. Why did I still feel so uneasy? "There were some complications at work," he explained, "It took some time to fix. I figured you'd be asleep by now, so I grabbed something to eat after everything was sorted."

"And that took you until one in the fucking morning?"

"Didn't know I had a curfew." He said it so bluntly, almost accusatory. The eyes that looked into mine were unyielding, wanting no question or fuss to his response. Not to push that which was unmovable. It wasn't an expression I was familiar with, at least from him, the glint of affection that lingered no matter how mad he got at me now snuffed.

"I..." I trailed off, unsure what to say next. The whirlwind of thoughts and emotions collected within me had me feeling unhinged. Was I being crazy? "I'm sorry, I was just worried about you," I settled on, swallowing thickly so my throat had lubrication.

"Where's Gaby?"

The question gave me pause, his evident impatience spouting words from my mouth. "Oh! Um... she's in bed," Miguel didn't seem impressed by my answer, "u-upstairs," I pointed in the direction mentioned.

"Mmm," was all he responded with, leaving me to shuffle out of the way as he beelined to the staircase. Then I was left alone once again, the suddenness of it making me wonder if I had just dreamed everything. The heavy footsteps above my head confirmed that our interaction was all too real, another crack of thunder giving my body the jumpstart it needed. All was well now right? That's what I told myself as I folded the blanket I had been using, shutting off the TV and making my way up to the second floor.

Miguel's home now, Gaby's in bed, everyone is safe and sound. I thought as I passed by my daughter's room, catching a glimpse of her father sitting beside her bed. I repeated it as I got myself ready for bed, brushing my teeth and washing my face of any leftover makeup. My pajamas were one of Miguel's t-shirts and I tucked my nose under the collar as I lay down, letting the smell of him ease my lingering nerves. There was nothing more to worry about, everything would go back to normal tomorrow.

The sun woke me up, bright rays peeking through the curtains. Blinking away the haze of sleep, I still felt restless. The nightmares again, most likely. A nuisance that was bold enough to show itself in the night, but cowardice in that I'd forget them in the morning. As I wiped my eyes, the clock on my nightstand became readable.

7:30 AM

Overslept. It was what I needed to get me out of bed, rushing as I did the bare minimum to look presentable. Cold water to wash my face, teeth brushed, hair pulled back and managed, some sweatpants and slip-ons for good measure. Thank God I worked from home.

Gaby was next on my radar, moving quickly down the hall and rapping on her door with my knuckles. Opening my mouth to tell say it was time to get up, the words left me when I saw she wasn't in bed. Come to think of it, Miguel hadn't been in bed either. Did he even come into the room last night? Shaking my head to clear the thought, the sound of dishes clattering drew me to the kitchen. As I descended, the smell of pancakes was clear, the sound of quiet chatter and little giggles following after.

"Papi, quiero voltear el siguiente." Papi, I want to flip the next one.

The baritone of Miguel's laugh followed after, "Lo sé chiquita, pero debes tener cuidado." I know little one, but you have to be careful.

The sight of my husband and daughter making a mess of the kitchen was touching, last night's events feeling like a distant memory. Almost. To think those cold, hard eyes that had pierced through my very being, were now looking down with such warmth and tenderness.

"Mommy!" Gaby spotted me in the doorway, squeezing between Miguel and the counter to come greet me.

"Well, good morning to you too," I cooed, bending forward so we were eye level. Her arms wrapped around my neck in an embrace, my lips finding purchase on her cheek before returning the gesture with one arm. "What do you have going on here?" I asked once we had parted, smoothing down her curls.

Gaby shrugged, "I wanted pancakes," was her simple response. "You were sleeping, so Papi said he could make them."

I looked up at the man in question, who seemed more occupied with what was cooking on the stove than what we were discussing. "And they haven't burnt?" I teased, approaching him from behind. My hand touched the small of his back, thumb rubbing small circles into the muscle as I looked over his shoulder to analyze the aforementioned pancakes.

"I know how to make pancakes," Miguel quipped back, his tone suggesting I might have struck a nerve.

"Of course you do. It's just that last time-"

"I said I got it."

"Okay," was all I could really say, kissing his shoulder apologetically. "You're tense, Mig. You should take a warm bath," I commented, pulling away so as not to disturb him further. Gaby had taken a seat at the kitchen counter, nibbling on a small plate of fruit. Miguel had most likely prepared it so she didn't get impatient.

"Well, breakfast will have to be quick today," I announced, grabbing a grape for myself, "We still have to get you dressed for preschool and then-"

"I called the preschool," Miguel interjected and I turned to him, "she's not going today."

A small frown graced my features, "Well, I wanted to get a head start on my next article."

"Called your work too. Told them you weren't feeling well." Before I could protest, Miguel continued, "I took the day off as well, figured we could have a day together. As a family."

"Oh," is all I had left to say, "Are you sure? I mean that sounds great, but you said your boss was really strict about time off."

Miguel huffed, smiling wryly at my comment, maybe even condescending. "Yeah, well if he has a problem with it, he can kiss my ass."

My eyes widened at his sudden crassness, "Miguel!"

"Papi, that's a bad word," Gaby chimed in, nose scrunched in determination as she scolded her father.

Miguel's smile shifted to a genuine one, rounding the kitchen island to reach the little girl. "You're right, mi vida, I'm sorry," he said, kissing her temple and she squirmed at the contact. I watched as Miguel pulled away, combing his long fingers through her hair. Did she always look so small next to him? "Come on, help me plate the pancakes. The sooner you eat your breakfast, the sooner we can figure out something to do."

Gabriela nodded eagerly, jumping out of her seat and following Miguel to resume their work. I figured I'd let them enjoy each other's company, preparing coffee for Miguel and myself. As I had hoped, everything seemed to be as it always was once more, if not better. Usually it was hectic in the morning, Miguel sleeping in until the last possible second before getting dressed and walking out the door for work, Gabriela in tow. So having a moment like this was a rare treat, one usually reserved for the weekend.

And yet, there was still something that felt so entirely wrong. Something that made my stomach churn and the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Call it intuition, but as to what it was cluing me into, I had yet to understand. I racked my brain as to what could be causing this feeling to linger inside me. Chewing the inside of my cheek as I poured the coffee into two mugs. To one, I added milk and a spoonful of honey. The other simply got milk, each getting a thorough stir. I took both cups, sipping from the one with honey and offering the other to Miguel.

He took it without even looking at me, focused on making sure Gaby didn't hurt herself as she flipped a pancake. I thought nothing of it as I went to go sit down, maybe scroll on my phone now that I had time, but Miguel's disgruntled murmur had me turning to face him. "I don't want anything in my coffee."

"Oh, sorry I didn't know."

"It's fine, can you just remake it?" Miguel asked in a dismissive tone, holding out the mug to me to take. I set my drink down, taking his in both my hands and going to discard the contents in the sink.

When did he start taking his coffee black?

Tags: @lazy-idate @lilly5799 @yougavemeyourheartyouknow

[calp0sa]

what do you like and dislike about airy?

CRAZY MESSY INFODUMP INCOMING OH LORD

well there’s nothing i truly dislike about airy, because everything about him just makes him who he is. i just wish we got more insight to him as an Actual person rather than his host facade, even though that was sort of the point of one 17-18, i feel like the fact that he’s pretty much a regular ass dude went over most people’s heads (Not mine though because im really smart and could beat albert einstein in a rap battle) i know the mystique is the most prominently interesting aspect of the whole show… but yknowwww it’d be nice to know a little more about him personally considering how we now know he’s far from a one-dimensional character and shouldn’t be taken at face value (i am side eyeing a huge chunk of the one fandom as i say this) now okay if i were to talk about everything i like about airy we’d be here til the next solar eclipse but i’ll try to jot down everything i can. airy, to me, is the most fascinating object show character there is. i swear every time i observe something about him it’s like i’m opening a matryoshka doll as i dissect his character further and further… every rewatch of one i notice something, whether it be minuscule or glaring, there’s always something for me to brutally analyze. see, and here’s where i contradict myself, because while it’s frustrating not having much official trivia on him, i actually quite love how mysterious he is. i love how he seems like he knows a lot more than he lets on. i love how his caginess only sparks more questions. and i love how FESTERED he is. how you can tell there was so much that led up to him being so numb and stagnant… it does nothing but pique my interest. and i love how this festered-ness parallels with the contestants. i can’t help but feel as if the true extent of airy’s suffering was reflected through those on the plane, how the contestants went through so many fluctuant stages of sadness, denial, hopelessness, anger… all in the midst of isolation akin to airy’s forest. it makes me wonder if ONE served as catharsis to airy. not just a purpose or a distraction, but something to spark resonance within a desolate soul. speaking of distraction, it’s really interesting to me how reliant airy is on escapism, and this is most evident in how he literally takes on such a gilded and contrived host persona to the point where it’s difficult for the viewer to discern who he is OUTSIDE of “airy”. big fan of how the show basically tricks us into thinking he’s this ruthless malevolent all powerful entity until it takes us by surprise and reveals that he’s Just Some Guy, and it could’ve been anyone in his place. but this isn’t to defend him… no… airy was definitely a selfish and inconsiderate asshole (sorry yall) he just isn’t as awful as everyone makes him out to be. airy is not evil, nor is he good, he just kind of sucks LOL. and i love him for that honestly! the thing about this is he should’ve stopped and asked himself “what am i going to gain from this” yet he was so absorbed in trying to hoist himself out of that inevitable pit of dread that he did not care if he destroyed everything else in the process (Might i add that this is a huge parallel to liam’s impulsive vengefulness… i swear i could go on and on about how those two are brothers from another mother) another interesting thing about the hosting stage of airy is the chance that he probably did feel some sort of regret. especially after the shock of breaking his face, being confronted by harsh genuine emotions after such a long time… an iota of the pain and fear he assumed was long gone… as well as the crushing reminder that he basically threw himself and all his senses away just for a stupid game. What a loser amirite. even if he had some semblance of a wish to end ONE, he knew he couldn’t. i’d imagine he told himself mockingly “yeaaaa you basically dug yourself into this, you’re not backing out any time soon” (even though he could’ve easily backed out he was just a loser ass COWARD!)

i didn’t know the paragraphs had character limits! interesting. anyway i can’t help but wonder if airy made that effort to take care of liam in an attempt to break the cycle, the cycle of destroying everything else, including your very self, for the purpose of One thing. maybe airy thinks violence and spite is just a huge waste of time yes of course, but i think he understood liam to some extent (remember what i said about resonance 😁😁😁) i just love how everything about airy is so subtle, yet so major, so jarring and confusing yet when you piece it all together it makes such a scary amount of sense. i love making sense of how nonsensical he is. (of course i do. i am possibly the biggest fan of nonsense there is) now i will add a funny little thing i like about him. i like how he’s all impatient and snarky. and i know you’re probably thinking “franklin how in the abraham lincoln’s bootycheek do you think he’s snarky” Listen, it’s really funny once you actually notice it. there were so many instances where he sounded exasperated with the contestants. my personal favorite being

“yes, as long as you are here, you can’t die”

>”WE CANT DIE?”

“Yes… that’s… what i just said 😐”

he has this barely noticeable “oh my god can you let me do what i need to do” attitude and it’s SO funny. i like to imagine he rolled his eyes a lot while he was hosting. its really funny to imagine. and its also funny to imagine him smiling like an idiot like he did hosting in one 17. that scene was really cute it makes me want to run into ongoing traffic and get continuously ran over by 12 different semi-trucks. if you ignore how miserable the contestants were (sorry contestants) it’s actually really endearing how excited and eager airy was when he got ideas for challenges. i bet he felt so proud of himself it’s honestly kind of sad. he’s sad. what the hell. he really thought he was the SHIT when he said “riches… immortality… whatever your heart desires 😌” Oh my god he’s so pathetic don’t even get me started MY ONLINE CLASSES ARE STARTING I GOTS TO GO BUT ANYWAY FEEL FREE TO ASK FOR AN ANALYSIS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING AIRY RELATED I HAVE MORE THAN A HUNDRED BIBLES’ WORTH OF SHIT TO SAY ABOUT HIM BYEBYE THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS

[twig-tea]

Why We Are Gives Me Anxiety

I have been fighting myself on this We Are post for weeks because I wanted to make sure I knew what I wanted to say and was able to say it. I feel the need to say off the top that I don’t begrudge anyone who enjoyed this show and I’m genuinely glad it brought comfort to people. The show in and of itself, as 16 hour-long episodes of fluff (shout-out to @stuffnonsenseandotherthings for using this word to pinpoint the genre for this show, because it’s perfect), is not offensive or bad or wrong or any judgmental or moralistic word. And it does some things well; the centrality of the friend group was a lovely aspect to this show, and the chemistry in the friendship group scenes was on point. All of the couples have good romantic chemistry as well, and the show is packed with butterflies-inducing moments. 

That being said, I did not enjoy watching this show. I watch television mostly for the story; This show felt more like watching 16 special episodes for a show I hadn’t seen (I think this can be attributed to the point made by @italianpersonwithashippersheart in her post here that the show assumes the audience comes to the show with a pre-existing buy-in to the ships). The lack of overarching narrative structure of We Are gave my brain nothing to hold onto and I spent so much of every episode futilely trying to figure out how scenes worked with what had come before, what the show was trying to say, what these characters were thinking–all of which I knew was the wrong way to be watching, but it’s the way my brain works, so I spent a lot of the show frustrated. In short, this show wasn’t for me. 

But that’s not why I feel the need to write about it. Shows are fully allowed to not be for me, I usually can differentiate between when a show is doing something I don’t like well, or when it’s failing at its own goals. And I don’t begrudge people with different taste getting catered to sometimes; my refrain is that most problems of representation are not solved by calling for less of something, and rather than wanting something not to be made, I’d rather champion for more and a greater variety of content. And lord knows there’s enough BL to go around these days (shouting out @respectthepetty’s post along these lines, which I loved) . But We Are still worries me, and I’ve been trying to find a way to articulate that my concerns are not actually about the show itself, in isolation, but rather about how it feels like part of a pattern. This is my best attempt at laying that out. It’s going to get a little ramble-y, so apologies in advance.

Shout-out to @bengiyo who first articulated this anxiety in his post from relatively early in the show’s run . Ben gets into some of where I’m coming from with concerns about what this show means for the genre in this post, which as he mentions we've chatted about in DMs. I’m really grateful to him for these conversations because in isolation, I worried that I was being alarmist. It was helpful to have confirmation that he was feeling the same way so that I could get out of my own head.  

Ben mentions in his post that New Siwaj has been in this business a long time, and I, like Ben, have jived with him for years because he manages to imbue queer angst into his shows in a way that resonates with me, even when he’s had missteps. I'm going to lay out some of the major highlights of his work for those who haven't followed New for years.

He was an editor on Love Sick, arguably the start of the Thai BL genre as we know it today, and a show full to the brim of queer angst. He directed Make It Right, one of my favourite Thai BL comedy series. This show was also an ensemble centered around a friendship group (though admittedly it didn’t balance the friendship and romance content as strongly as We Are), and it covers so many topics that felt refreshing at the time and still are rare (morning-after sex visits to the clinic because things went poorly, hooking up on the apps, sex acts beyond just penetration, suicidality, I could go on). He also was involved in the GMMTV Waterboyy series–this was his first work for GMMTV that I am aware of. That show had a lot of issues but did explore internalized homophobia and bullying.

He worked as a cinematographer on En of Love, which is again similar to We Are in that it has several couples connected by a friendship group (and is several novels in one series), but each couple was given its own miniseries instead of bundling them into one show. En of Love also still dealt with some serious queer angst, especially in the Love Mechanics story [Sidenote, Niink, the director for En of Love, stuck with New and moved on to work for Wabi Sabi].

At this point, New created his own company, Studio Wabi Sabi, which he's said in interviews was to gain more creative control over what he was working on. And his stories became arguably even more explicitly queer and inclusive of queer trauma. He screenwrote and produced Love By Chance (which folks may not remember or know, but that core story starts off with Pete being blackmailed for being gay until Ae convinces him to come out to his mother and shut down the leverage for blackmail, and a good chunk of Pete’s character arc is unlearning internalized homophobia and not seeing himself as ‘corrupting’ Ae) and then Until We Meet Again. The queer angst in UWMA probably doesn’t need my help spelling out, but just in case anyone doesn’t know the summary, this show was about a queer couple who committed suicide in the face of homophobia in the 1980s, and were reborn and given another chance to be together in present day. I did want to note that in both of these series (LBC and UWMA) the core romance itself has no major conflicts; both AePete and DeanPharm felt like they were intentionally side-stepping so many of the usual BL drama tropes of jealousy and misunderstandings through trust and communication. Dean and Pharm’s story took that even further by having so many of the usual drama pitfalls for a gay couple just not be a problem; their only drama comes from their past lives, in a beautiful exploration of the breaking of intergenerational trauma. So many external threats to their relationship ended up being non-starters, and this was my version of a comfort series for that reason. 

From there, New started working with GMMTV again, and directed My Gear and Your Gown. This series was, to my knowledge, the first GMMTV BL series to mention HIV and to show characters getting tested at the clinic, and while it wasn’t perfect representation (didn’t get into PrEP, treated HIV as a death sentence), it felt like an important milestone.

[I’m skipping the sequels and specials he did for series I already talked about, because they don’t feel that important to the story I’m telling here and this is already so long, but I wanted to acknowledge that I’m not covering everything in his oeuvre.]

He then directed 7 Project, which had some serious storylines dealing with bullying and struggling with life in the closet, out of Wabi Sabi, and then Star and Sky out of GMMTV. Star in My Mind included one of the main characters in a beard relationship for years, and some controversy over the adaptation choices to make Daonuea (Dunk’s character) less polite than in the books. There was drama around the pronouns and characterization in that show (both Daonuea and Khabkluen use guu/mueng in the series, but in the novel, Daonuea uses rao; he also curses in the series and novel fans complained that he was too ‘masculine’). I thought it was an interesting attempt at a departure from BL character tropes to try to make Daonuea more evenly matched with Khabkluen in terms of his gender presentation in the show. Sky in Your Heart also included some angst about whether people of a particular station could be gay. Both of these shows (SIMM and SIYH) were also very trope-y, but they had clear throughlines. 

My Only 12%, the next show New directed out of Wabi Sabi, contains one of my favourite moments in all of BL, in which Seeiw sees Love of Siam and cries because it makes him realize he’s gay. There’s this heartfelt moment where he asks his sister, if there’s nothing wrong with being gay, why doesn’t the film let the gay characters have a happy ending? Despite the weird PSA ending, this show remains one of my favourites.

This is an aside but I’ve long been fascinated about this moment in New’s history: he played himself in War of Y, as a director of BL who is sick of being forced to make BL shows full of fanservice; he treats the actors with disdain and cuts marketable high heat scenes from the show which makes everyone nervous for the show’s future. Later we see him and the actor characters on set for My Only 12%, much happier. I ask myself about this moment at least once a week: Did he write this self-insert? Did someone else write the character and he just played it, and the similarities to his style were (were not?) a coincidence? I hope someone knows and tells me one day,

From there, New functioned as an Executive Producer of Dear Doctor, I’m Coming for Soul [I think this was the first outsourced project by Wabi Sabi]. This series’ entire plot is a metaphor for living in the closet and waiting for the time when the main couple can be together fully without having to hide. 

He directed A Boss and a Babe for GMMTV (which had its problems for sure, but also had Cher as an out gay man at the workplace dealing with casual homophobia in a way that was extremely satisfying), and then Between Us, which is maybe the least queer feeling show Wabi Sabi produced on its own, but did go into the issues of dating and the closet while trying to become a star (if I’ve forgotten something from this show let me know, I only watched it the once). One of the things that was so strange about this show was it being a sequel to UWMA but not engaging with the same themes. The only mention of real world queerness I can remember was the acknowledgment that they can’t get married in Thailand and Dean and Pharm discussing again going abroad and getting married there. 

Absolute Zero was a complete mess of a show; New directed this one for Wabi Sabi, and it has some similarities to UWMA in the sense of there being an attempt at saving the gays from the bury your gays trope, this time via time loop rather than reincarnation, but it did not take the issues it raised seriously enough (including the age gap created between the two characters by virtue of time travel). 

And that leads us to We Are for GMMTV, which as Pluem (@happypotato48)  wrote in his excellent post about this, includes Toey using nu and other 'feminine' or 'youthful' sounding language, but also apparently dropped the main conflict of the novel between Phum and his father (because his father disapproved of Peem).

Why did I go through all of that? Because I wanted to lay out how I've watched New Siwaj’s career go from finding a way to tell incredibly poignant and healing queer narratives (by creating his own company, and fitting these moments into the GMMTV series he did work on) to stripping out queerness from the shows he’s creating in the last year or so.

And this is a pattern we’re seeing more widely at GMMTV in particular, but also in Thai QL more widely. This is something that was touched on but not really discussed in the most recent episode of The Conversation podcast (the 23.5 and only boo! episode here). In both 23.5 and Only Boo!, the show faked out a homophobic parent and then treated their kids like they were silly to assume the worst, and I hated that.

Both Ongsa and Kang had internalized homophobia in their respective series. Both were terrified of telling their mothers about their homosexual love interest. And in both cases, their mothers told them something along the lines of 'of course I will support you no matter what'. In Ongsa's case, even though she was outed by Sun without her consent, she's the one who ends up apologizing for her hesitancy and feeling foolish for her concern. In Kang's case, the show never challenges his mother's assertion that she'll always support him even though we know she hasn’t (she was the one who wanted to prevent him from studying art before his father died), and it’s the audience that was left feeling foolish for our concern. 

In the GMMTV round table for Pride Month, it was mentioned that the decision for Ongsa's mother to be accepting of her relationship with Sun was made in order to model good parental behaviour for the older generation in the audience. In the novel, Ongsa's mother presents a significant conflict, but this conflict was erased from the show. I don't know if the same decision was made in Only Boo! for the same reason or not, but either way, the show definitely signalled to Kang's mother having an issue with Kang's relationship with Moo, and then said "sike", which I did not enjoy. The Conversation panelists were correct in the conversation linked and transcribed above that this wasn't the most egregious misstep either show made, but it feels like a telling symptom of the larger overall narrative problems that New is also now succumbing to.

It seems as though telling stories stripped of queer conflict is being seen as progressive, and possibly also easier to sell, and this is where my anxiety lies around what this will mean for Thai QL content in future. 

For the record, I am all for creating queer content in which we envision a better world for ourselves. But when that is the goal, understanding where internalized homophobia comes from and thinking through how removing parental objection will affect the character and the story is vital to the story and characterization remaining coherent. Otherwise it just ends up feeling like the show is telling queer kids that they're paranoid, rather than rightly worried (like I wrote about in this thread on My Love Mix-Up Thailand, where the same decision was made again to fake out a homophobic subplot that was removed from the adaptation but was present in the source material).

These choices speak to adaptation choices with an eye for specific moments and story points, rather than to a narrative or character arc, which is where it feels like they fall into the wider pattern of what @bengiyo, @shortpplfedup and @ginnymoonbeam were describing in their discussion: shows caring more about hitting specific meme-able story points listed out on a whiteboard than about making cohesive sense or having something coherent to say. 

[So as not to leave it out: I don’t think there were concerns of homophobia in the Wandee Goodday novel (novel readers feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about this) but the show faked us out about homophobia concerns anyway, which again really bothered me during that watch and which adds to the pattern.] 

Now, of course, as I stated up at the top there is value in the creation of different kinds of media. These shows sell different fantasies than the ones I want to see, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have value.All of BL has some amount of fantasy that it’s buying into, that’s what comes with the territory of ‘fiction’. The BL bubble (in which homophobia doesn’t exist and all men are gay for each other) is a version that is at its most extreme; nothing bad ever happens that isn’t quickly resolved within an episode, so there is never narrative tension, and nobody really needs to be that concerned about how anything will go ever. I do not find these relaxing because I can’t buy into the fantasy they’re selling; for me, the lack of narrative tension is so unbelievable as to ruin my immersion. But I can see why that would be appealing for someone whose brain is not always on alert and running at 11/10! The problem I am anticipating is when the majority of content is made that way, and when it is done in a way that takes up all of the mainstream space. I think it’s notable that the only show that’s really felt not in the queer bubble from GMMTV in 2024 is Cooking Crush, which was done by a subsidiary team within GMMTV (and the same team went on to make Only Boo!). And this is why We Are caught my attention and made me nervous; When a director who is known for his representation of poignant queer angst makes an entire 16-hour series in which there are no significant conflicts at all and the only hint of homophobia is in Toey’s reference to being bullied prior to the timeframe of the series, I get worried about who is going to be making the queer angst shows in future!  

For the record, my personal preference for comfort shows are the shows that do not pretend the world is perfect, but do depict an idealized subset of that world→where there’s a group of people that support one another through the bullshit of others and the less than perfect world that surrounds them. Shows that teach us to be kind to one another, and ourselves. Shows that say the world is going to suck sometimes, but we can be good to one another, and not lose sight of who we are, and make space for others to be themselves. A few of my favourite Thai series that do this would be: 

Bad Buddy

Cooking Crush

City of Stars

Knock Knock Boys

Miracle of Teddy Bear

My Only 12%

Secret Crush on You

To Sir With Love

Until We Meet Again

(and of course these occur in non-Thai shows as well. A few examples of my favourites: What Did You Eat Yesterday, DNA Says Love You, Light on Me, Oppan, Marahuyo Project, TsukuTabe, Tadaima Okaeri, Koisenu Futari, Joshi-teki Seikatsu, Gameboys, Hehe and He, Twilight out of Focus, She Makes My Heart Flutter)

These are shows in which there are explicitly external judgments on the relationships in the show and/or the characters for things intrinsic to who they are, and the characters build a support structure in which folks are encouraged to be themselves within that ‘bubble’ (Bad Buddy walks a fine line because it’s within the BL bubble but the problems that the main couple face are so a direct allegory that everything feels familiar; this is also the case with Tadaima Okaeri, which is both omegaverse and one of the most beautifully kind shows of all time). 

So for now, I still have the other smaller Thai studios including Kongthup Productions (who made Knock Knock Boys; we’ll see whether their latest series Monster Next Door deals with any queer angst or not), idolFactory (just finished My Marvellous Dream is You, which had a ton of queer angst, and is currently doing The Loyal Pin, which I have hope for on this front), DeeHup (currently making I Saw You In My Dream, which I’m holding out hope for) and StarHunter Entertainment (who made City of Stars, but whose record is a little spotty on this front; Their latest, Sunset Vibes, has not done a great job of handling the theme of office relationships and blackmail so far, and feels very much in the bubble) to look forward to. 

But as you can see even just by virtue of the caveats I included above, it feels like this shift is happening in the smaller companies too (harder to see a real pattern with fewer data points, which is one of the reasons why I picked on GMMTV–in addition to it being the largest media conglomerate in Thailand and therefore able to take it). Maybe it’s nothing, maybe I’m just an anxious person. Or maybe I’m just wrong about what would be best for the genre and for queer people in Thailand as well as viewers all over the world. But I, for one, would find it a loss if Thai QL decides en masse to pivot away from queer angst, and right now it kind of feels like that’s what it’s doing. In this context, to reiterate my original point, the existence of We Are is not a problem, but is one in a set of exemplars that raised specific alarm bells due to the people involved and their history in QL and queer representation, its deviation from the source material, and the surrounding shows that seem to indicate a pattern rather than a one-off. 

[rendezvouz-fling]

Astro Observations #20

• Is it just me or do most saturnian moons (Aqua/Cap) tend to grow up with single mothers who only care about making money and having multiple boyfriends? Lmao.

• I feel bad for Gemini risings with Aries mercuries because they’re so genuine and they might be very chatty but it’s their biggest love language.🤎 I think this might also apply to just about every other Gemini rising too!

• I feel bad for Aries moons with Libra mercuries/risings because yes they can be a little hot headed but they won’t be flat out bold and they might beat around the bush a lot! On the other hand though when they’re really arguing with somebody they might switch to intellect and surprisingly demolish that person.✋🏽

• People with mercury at a Fire degree (1, 5, 9, 13, 17, 21, 23, 29) love to exaggerate things! Calling myself out too, chile!😩😂

• Virgo suns with Leo mars can be very sweet and caring but also very scorning, abrasive and wants themselves/their partner & kids to look/dress their best almost all the time! Pretty much the always picture-ready type moms.

• You better believe that even if a Sagittarius moon won’t say it they might feel hurt and start detaching until they’re completely gone out of your life and you’re left wondering what went wrong.

• Tbh idk why but Libra mercuries also be out here saying mean, out-of-pocket stuff just not normally in people’s faces so maybe that’s why their friends might not take them seriously.

• Whereas Aries mercuries probably have a reputation of arrogance and downright disrespectfulness but they can also be very nice especially if you’re close with them. You’ll notice they just like to cuss for fun lol.

• Scorpio mercuries need to stop being on interrogation mode!😭

• Gemini mercuries be telling some of the funniest stories and their facial expressions/hand gestures make it even more funnier than it has to be.😭🤣

• Dear Cancer mercuries, you guys are so thoughtful and caring Ilysm!

• Capricorn mercuries, you’re not boring and I love how also detail oriented you are!

• Can I just say Cap mercuries so be out here clowning too! 😂 I have a close friend who’s a Cap sun & mercury and she says funny things often, she just has a very articulate way of speaking but besides that she’s hilarious!🤣

• I recently noticed people with Air/Earth placements tend to have speech impediments and other stuff. E.g. my little sister is a Virgo sun/moon & Libra stellium and she can’t pronounce the letter ‘R’. I have a Gemini rising at 23 degree, Capricorn mars & other air placements and I used to have a speech impediment and developed selective muting. 💀

• Having Air/Fire placements can be such a challenge! 😭 My Aries mercury just be saying anything along with the super chatty Gemini rising but then later my Aquarius moon has a pep talk moment and makes me say “Why the fuck did I say that? Now they’re going to think I’m—” 😂😂😂

• People with harsh aspects between the sun and pluto might be known as open books but they might become self-conscious about it and have the urge to remain a mystery yet they can’t help but overshare!😭

• They might also think about it often! Like it might haunt them.💀

• Gemini venuses are soo fun!! I’d literally take these people with me if I was to go on a road trip because they’d keep me entertained and we could just goof around & talk about anything lol.

• You might also find yourself attracting/being attracted to people who’s venus sign is your rising sign!

• Pisces venus, for the sake of your own life please stop staying in toxic relationships because you fear being abandoned and think it isn’t worth it because you’ve been with this person so long—LEAVE. ✋🏽

• Cancer venus, you know I love you but sometimes you gotta stop trying to control people. 😭

• Scorpio venus, with you I feel like we’re always on the same page and see eye to eye in most things/interests.

• Capricorn venus you are literally one of the most giving venus signs! I literally love you!!<3

• Sagittarius mars men having a thing for smacking their girlfriend’s butt.🤣

• Leo mars want only the best of the best especially if there’s Taurus in the mix!

• While Libra risings might develop people pleasing tendencies, Gemini risings tend to develop social anxiety.

• I’ve seen so many Gemini suns always point out that they either have or think they have a mental illness. Especially ADHD.😨😰

• Yes Earth suns are normally very chill and grounded. But add some Air and especially Fire in the mix and they’ll be the most erratic, short tempered people you’ve seen!🙃

• Fire mercuries/mercuries at Fire degrees, how does it feel to get shouted at your whole life then gas-lighted and blamed when you turn out to be a sharp-tongue individual?

• Gemini moons and their many 1-3 Am shows in their rooms.😭 Same for Aqua and Libra moons but Gemini moons do it more often lol.

• If somebody is very generous, bold, funny, and gets pissed off/defensive very quickly then they’re an Aries dom.❤️‍🔥

• Taurus moon, why are you so stubborn?

• The best thing to hear is “Okay fine.” From an Aquarius/Taurus moon when you’ve finally got them to change their opinion that they stubbornly wouldn’t let go of lol.

• 9H moons tend to be very attached to their ideas/opinions/beliefs. I can testify😂

• I’ve noticed some 2H moons tend to stress eat?

• 7H moons looove music and fashion!💗

• 9H Aquarius moons are normally cultured people.

• Fire moons are the loyalest friends hands down. I said what I said.✋🏽❤️

• Scorpios suns with Sagittarius moons/mercuries somehow be coming up with the funniest life-stories??😭🤣

• I’ve noticed Sagittarius mercuries tend to be awesome yet underrated songwriters! E.g. Nikki Sixx of Mötley Crüe who wrote most of their songs😩🖤

• Say what you will but some Leo risings literally exude not only a very charming but bright aura! David Lee Roth is literally your typical Leo Rising!🦁🌞

[beachbabe000]

My Brothers Girl / / Christopher Sturniolo

summary: You're in a relationship with Matt, but you're slightly unhappy with some aspects. One night those needs are met, but not by Matt.

Warnings: Smut, cheating, relationship between brothers and y/n, fingering, enemies to lovers, use of y/n

There will be multiple chapters of this story. -----------------------------------------

         I walked downstairs to grab some water. Matt’s been busy on his games all morning and I’ve been working on my laptop. Suddenly parched I finally left his bed after a few hours, needing a break. After getting my water I close the fridge and turn around. As soon as I turned I walked right into someone causing me to fall to the ground, spilling the water.

“Watch where you’re going kid.” I heard. I looked up and saw Chris, he had a scowl on his face. Not even bothering to help me up he walked around me also grabbing a drink from the fridge. He did give a look over of my body before moving, causing my breath to hitch. He probably meant nothing of it, but why did it make me respond that way? Me and Chris are constantly fighting. Why? I have no idea, but for some reason we’ve loathed each other since we met. Which becomes annoying when I’ve been dating his brother for 4 years now.

“Maybe don’t stand so close to me and I wouldn’t have to.” Returning the attitude I stood up and grabbed a towel to clean the mess. “Maybe don’t be here all the time and you wouldn’t always be in my way.”

At this point we started bickering, getting into one of our typical arguments. Hearing our voices getting higher by the minute, Matt makes his way downstairs. “What’s going on in here?” He walks in asking me before moving his attention to Chris. “Can you just leave her alone man, why do you have to make things so difficult?” Chris raises his voice again, “She’s always fucking here! Just keep your pet out of my way and on  a leash.” Storming out of the kitchen. “What the fuck. Your pet? Where does he come up with this shit?” I ask angrily watching him leave the kitchen. “I don’t know. Sorry about him. Lets head back upstairs.” He pours me another water.

Night time comes around and I’m cuddling in bed with Matt as we’re relaxing for sleep. I turn to face him in his arms, burying my face in his neck and beginning to leave light kisses. He lets out a small moan and leans his face down to mine, capturing my lips in a soft kiss. He then picks his head back up sitting it on top of my head. “I’m a little too tired tonight babe.” I let out a sigh of frustration.

I love Matt, so much. But we’ve been together for years and haven’t fucked yet. I’ve even begged him, and every time he turns me down. Yet always teasing with passionate make out sessions. The only thing I’ve fucked at this point is myself during masturbation. My body literally screams for release at this point. “ima go to the bathroom. Be right back.” He lets me up and I climb out of bed.

I head down the hallway in the pitch darkness, I can’t see shit. This causing me to walk straight into something. At first I thought my lack of sight caused me to hit a wall. I heard a chuckle. God damn it. “I see you’re still blind to where you’re going. Matt still not keeping you out of my way.” I could feel his eyes on me, staring daggers. I then feel his finger tips lightly graze my cheek before disappearing. I felt his presence walk around me to continue his way. “Do better at being conscious of your surrounding princess.”

I stood there, face flushed and heat running through my body from the weird yet gentle contact. What just happened? I shake it off and continued my way to the bathroom.

Chris:

I have no idea what came over me to make that gesture towards her. Or to say what I just said. Can’t take it back now though. Why is she always here? Does she not have a home to go back to? It’s really finally getting to me at this point. Being around her is unbearable. Knowing she belongs to Matt and not being able to do anything about it, or be able to have my way with her how I’d like to.

I know they haven’t done anything together. Which is insane. Every time I try to ask him about it he completely avoids the question. I can’t say I haven’t thought about it myself. Imagining fucking my brothers long term girlfriend before he even does. The thought alone is exhilarating and it takes everything I have to not turn around right now and follow her to the bathroom. Pushing her up against the door, trapping her and having my way. Pleasuring her in a way she hasn’t been pleasured by another human. Being the one to take her virginity from her. I can feel the heat rush to my penis as I’m laying in my bed. I really wanted to go to Nicks room to sleep but I can’t in this state. Looks like I’m sleeping alone tonight.

The next morning I’m walking down the hall to head to the shower. As I pass by Matts room, his door is slightly ajar, just enough for me to see part way in. I was going to walk straight by, but then I saw her. Her silhouette. I stopped in my tracks looking in just far enough from the door that she wouldn’t notice me. I watched as she lifted her shirt over her head, revealing her perky breasts. Her nipples getting hard from the lack of warmth that was once covering her chest 5 seconds ago. I could already feel myself starting to get hard. I looked at her smooth legs as she began to pull down her pajama shorts. Her long hair swaying down as she holds them to step out. Fuck, I gotta get out of here. I get to the bathroom and jump in the shower to release myself from the discomfort in my pants.

That night Matt leaves to head out of town. He had some event he needed to go to. I was sitting in my room playing video games and listening to music. Then a thought suddenly crossed my mind. This is my chance and I can’t take this anymore.

I get up and walk quietly to Matts room. The light was already off meaning she was in bed. I walk to the door and slowly push it open, shutting it silently behind me. I tiptoe over to the bed and pull back the covers slipping in. She was facing the other way so I took the opportunity to slip my arm around her waist and pull her close. She made a soft moan at the intimate contact. “Matt? I thought you left what are you doing here?”

Not answering I pulled her tighter to me, leaning down to land small kisses on her neck. She let out another small moan. God that sound is amazing. My kisses slowly started to become harder bit by bit, turning into small bites in between kisses. She moaned again this time moving herself closer to me, letting her ass push back into my groin. I made a small grunt at the tension between the fabrics of our clothes. I run my hand down her side landing on her hip, squeezing it. She turns her head to face me. Thank god it was too dark for her to see it was me. She leans in for a passionate kiss, moving her hand up behind my head deepening the contact.

I let my hand start to sneak down her side more, rubbing down and back up her thigh, inching closer to her warmth landing on her inner thigh. I start to pull one of her legs up opening her for me. My hand runs higher up her thigh an inch away from her now. She lets out a slower, louder moan. “What are you doing?” She parts our lips just enough to whisper, I can still feel her mouth brushing mine. “Don’t worry baby, just let me make you feel good.” I whisper back. Luckily mine and Matts voices sound just enough alike that she doesn’t question anything. My hand moves up, running a finger down her fold through her underwear. She gasps against my lips and turns her head back the other direction, laying it against to nape of my neck. I begin to rub gentle slow circles around her clit. The sweet sound that escaped her mouth pushed me over the edge.

I turn her over and climb on top of her. One hand by her head and one reaching back down. I run my fingers on the line of her underwear, hooking one in and pulling them down. She immediately obliged and lifter hips to help me remove them. God she has been craving this. I can just tell by her haste movements.

My fingers returning to her pussy, I continue to rub circles on her clit again. “Ugghh yes” She moans into my mouth. “Does that feel good sweetheart?” I speak against her lips. “Yes. Please more.” She grabs the back of my neck to pull me closer. I slip a finger inside her, being careful not to hurt her. “Let me know if anything is uncomfortable” I felt her nod against my face. After a minute I slip in another finger. She moaned again, arching her back into my touch. “Fuck me”

I smirk into her mouth knowing she has no idea. It turned me on more. I leaned up to remove my pants and boxers. I move my lips down to her neck as I position my tip against her pussy. She sucked in a deep breath, her nails digging into my shoulders. “You ready baby?” I ask, fully ready to thrust into her. I have to remind myself to go slow when she sighs out a yes.

I gently start to push into her bit by bit. I heard a whimper come out of her and stopped. “You okay?” She nodded “Yeah, please don’t stop.”

I started moving again, finally in her I groaned. I sat there for a moment waiting for her to make the first move. After a few seconds she grinded into me, granting me permission to move. And god did I move. I started with small thrusts, her small moans hitting my ears, causing me to groan and moan.

 She arched into me giving me the go to which was all I needed. With that, I moved faster. Pulling completely out at one point to slam into her. A loud moan escaped her and I kept going. “Harder!” She almost screamed. “You got it ma”

I went harder, I went faster. “Oh god I’m gunna cum! Don’t stop! Oh god!” I somehow went even harder, if possible. I could feel my own release coming on. “Oh fuck” I let out a loud groan. “Fuck, yes, please, yeeesss!”

I felt her walls tense up around me and her legs shake a little, letting me know she was on her release. “Just hold on baby, ride this out with me” After another minute I pulled out, cumming onto her stomach. My hands land on either side of her head, I pant trying to catch my breath. Her arms are wrapped under mine, clutching onto my shoulders from the back as she also tries to regulate her breathing. “Fuck, finally.” She breathes out. I chuckle over her.

I stand to grab a towel from Matts closet to clean her off, tossing is to the floor after wards. Climbing back into bed with her, I wrap my arms back around her waist pulling her into me again.

Part of me is actually terrified how this is going to go from this point. I’m definitely not leaving this bed tonight though. Her reaction is going to be priceless when she wakes up in the morning to no one laying next to her.

I wake up the next morning early enough to move back to my own bed. Maybe an hour or two later I hear the front door open and steps moving on the stairs making their way to Matts room. I assume he plopped himself right on the bed next to her, she’s fully naked, a cum drenched towel on the floor next to her.

To my surprise nothing happened. What the hell? There’s no way she wasn’t confused right now.

[crescent--crow]

Finally drew OG Wally art

I eventually wanna draw him accurately but I still struggle unfortunately

Changed a few things last minute on the finished piece cuz it didn't sit right .

I've had Dr Sunshine is dead stuck in my head all day and I went you know that song hits just right for Wally lmao. At least to me it gives the equivalent of The Tornado by Owl City. Just me?

I'll never not be able to get this man out of my head it seems. After drawing him every month since last year I wanted to give myself a break. Why? Why ? Why? Tbh I'm not sure , I adore his design and I love all the efforts Clown puts into Welcome Home. Tis why I've supported as much as I could. (And still do)

I don't really follow everything that happens in the fandom cuz I don't have the time to dwell on dramas that happen in every place it seems. I'm too old for that stuff.

This is as close as I'll ever get to drawing Wally lmao. I don't think I'll ever stop. And funny enough I've never really been a fanart kinda artist. But with all the beautiful AU's and dedications everyone put forth on this lil dude.

I also want to thank this lil dude in particular because he's helped me develop my painting style since day one of drawing him. You can see my development and new experiment ideas that didn't always turn out good. But I'm so damn proud of myself which is hard to say even for me. Why? Self doubt bears my arms despite spending countless hours on pieces that I try to make better the more I settle on it. He wears his heart on his feet and is a silly lil dude. But we know the cool aspect of Welcome Home is the spooky factor. I wanted to give it a try. I'm not quite sure what kind of artist I am because I want to do everything. Horror has always been my one thing I wanted to give a try. But I'm always scared it might be portrayed the wrong way. So maybe surrealism is the way to go? I dunno I'm ramblin

Anyway 🐦‍⬛💕 have a great weekend I have a con to get ready for. I'm utterly tired 😭

[bravo4iscool]

return pt.2

this was so long overdue and im so sorry😭 but here it is now🤪

wordcount: 2,5k

(masterlist | return pt.1 | join my tag list!)

tag list - @yazt09 @blackhawkfanatic @bumblebeesfromvenus (others: @yyiikes @w0menaresuperi0r)

REQUESTS/ASKS OPEN!!!

“Take care of yourself,” you force a smile as you look at Simon. He’s off for deployment again and everytime he leaves it gets harder for you.

You’re starting to get used to a life with Simon by your side and you don't want to miss out on that ever again. Also Louis was growing used to having Simon around and you could see how hurt he was whenever he left.

Simon’s voice rips you out of your thoughts, “I will darling,” he promises, taking you into his arms. “I’ll look after myself and you’ll look after yourself and Louis, yea?” He cradles the back of your head in his hand, burying his nose in your hair for the last time.

When Simon opens his eyes again he sees Louis hiding behind the door. His heart broke. He wanted to leave while your son was still asleep so it’ll be easier for the boy to adapt to him being gone but it looks like Louis knew Simon would leave for deployment again.

Simon breaks the hug, giving you one last kiss before he calls Louis’ name. “Come here buddy,” he says, crouching down to match the height of the boy. “I’m sorry,” Simon apologizes while taking Louis in his arms. “I know I said I wouldn’t leave but this is urgent…” he tries to explain but Louis just throws his arms around Simon’s neck and starts to cry.

„I don‘t want you to go,“ he sobs and your heart breaks at that sight. Louis was getting attached to Simon. Maybe he was getting too attached… but you were getting too, weren‘t you?

„I know buddy, I know… I‘m sorry,“ Simon apologizes again and you feel tears burning in your eyes. In the last months Simon spent with you and Louis he more and more took the role of your boy's father and the effects of that were clearly showing. Not only were you starting to get used to it but also Louis.

With every passing day Simon turned more into Louis‘ hero and in some aspects into a dad… And while you liked that you also were scared of it. What would happen if you and Simon would break up? Or even worse, if Simon wouldn‘t come home one day…

-

„You need to wake up Louis,“ you sigh as you once again walk into your son‘s bedroom. He was supposed to stand up almost an hour ago to help you with the chickens but he was refusing to get out of bed. „Come on,“ you pull his blanket away and then you see them. Dried up tears are adorning his face and his eyes are read, his cheeks puffy. He’s been crying…

You stop for a second then you sit down beside him and gently let your hand caress his hair. „You miss him, huh?“ You quietly ask and all you get is a heartbreaking sob. „I know darling… I miss him too…“

A tear rolls down your cheek as you hear your son cry. „Only a couple more days, then he‘s back,“ you promise him, well knowing that it wasn‘t true.

Missions could take weeks, months even. Sometimes you even were gone for almost a year… You couldn‘t tell nor promise when Simon would come home, if he would at all but you couldn‘t tell Louis the truth. He‘s too young to understand.

On the other side of the world Simon lays on his bunk, eyes closed, arms behind his head and his legs crossed. He listens to the chatter of Gaz and Soap, occasionally cracking a smile at the stupidity between those two.

„Yo LT.“ Soap suddenly speaks up. Simon opens one eye, looking at the Sergeant.

„What is it MacTavish?“ Simon asks, his voice a low grumble.

„Ye go’ a message.“ Soap holds up Simon‘s phone, throwing it at his Lieutenant shortly after. „Is there a lass we din‘t know about?“

Simon catches the phone just in time, sitting up properly to read the text. He decides to completely ignore the teasing of the two Sergeants.

He opens the message, expecting you to have written another paragraph about your day but instead he’s greeted with three simple words:

He misses you.

He stares at the sentence for what felt like an eternity before he decides to reply. Normally he didn‘t. The risk was too high that the message might be tracked back to you but he couldn‘t just ignore what you sent him. It was hurting him too much.

I know. I miss him too.

And you. I‘ll be home soon.

He presses send with a heavy heart, standing up. He would request at least a two month period of leave after this mission. He never took leave before but it was his right, no?

„Where‘s Price?“ Simon asks, clutching his phone in his hand. Gaz and Soap look up from their card game.

„Somewhere downstairs. With Laswell probably,“ Gaz answers, not bothering to look at his Lieutenant again. He had a game to win and playing with Soap meant full on war.

Simon acknowledges the answer with a nod and turns his back to go downstairs. With heavy feet he skips as many steps as he can before he stands in front of a door and knocks.

“Come in,” Price’s voice bellows from inside and Simon opens the door. He’s greeted by his Captain and Laswell hunching over a map, studying the terrain. Price lifts his head to look at Simon, “What is it Ghost?”

Simon rolls his shoulders and crosses his hands behind his back before he starts to speak. “I’d like to resign.”

“What?”

“I’d like to resign. I want to retire,” the Lieutenant explains, carefully watching Price’s reaction. The Captain straightens his back and walks towards Simon.

He looks at him for a few moments before he sighs. “Are you sure? You’re one of my best men… If not the best.” There’s a part of Price that holds onto Ghost—not Simon—because it was hard to find someone like him. Replacing him would be…impossible.

Simon nods and holds eye contact. “I am 100% sure. Things have changed…since my leave,” he tries to reason his decision but not wanting to reveal too much.

But Price only nods with a sad smile. “I know. I noticed.” He takes a deep breath before he takes another step forward and pats Simon on the shoulder. “She’s the right one for you. Don’t mess it up.”

“I won’t.”

“Good.” Price sighs again. “After this mission I’ll get the papers ready to have you retired. It’ll be a big loss—“ He glances towards Laswell over his shoulder. “—but you deserve some rest. Life was hard on you.”

A weight falls off Simon’s shoulders and it feels like he can breathe better now. “Thank you John. I appreciate it.”

-

Your vision is blurry as you run through the doors of the hospital with shaking hands and short breath. Immediately a nurse catches you. “Ma’am? Ma’am are you alright?” she asks you, her hand on your bizeps.

You blink rapidly so your eyes can focus on her, your hands reaching out for the nurse to grab something. “My—my boyfriend, he’s, uh, he’s here,” you manage to force out. “They brought him in a few hours ago. Lieutenant Simon Riley, with the SAS,” you manage to gasp out, while trying to catch your breath.

The nurse nods and leads you towards the reception. “He should be in surgery right now,“ she tells you while typing something on the keyboard. “I…am not allowed to tell you more though.“ She gives you an emphatic smile and you let out a frustrated groan. You flew all the way to England just to be told you weren’t allowed to know more.

“I, however—“ the nurse suddenly spoke up again. “—could have accidentally told you where he is being operated.“ There is a twinkle in her eyes and you‘ve ever been so thankful for a nurse as now.

“Thank you,“ you tell her as you take off into the direction of the OR‘s. Surely Price, Gaz and Soap were also there.

Your steps are fast and your gaze hard as you stroll past the door and corridors of the hospital, a single goal in your mind. Find Simon, make sure he’s okay and kick his ass for getting banged up.

Then you hear a familiar voice, “Bonnie? What are yer doin‘ere?“ Soap frowns at you while walking into your direction before his steps quicken and he pulls you into his arms. “I‘ve missed ye,“ he whispers into your hair, not wanting to let you go.

You put your arms around your long time friend and let your head fall against his chest. “Missed you too Soap.“ You two stay in the hug for a few moments before you break it and walk towards Price and Gaz to embrace them in a hug too.

“Will he make it?“ you quietly ask Price as you hug him and his answer is a subtle nod. “Good,“ you breathe out, a hint of relief in your voice.

Simon would be alright; He would be okay; He was a fighter, wasn‘t he? He would survive this. He couldn‘t not survive. With a deep sigh you sit down beside Soap on one of the many uncomfortable plastic chairs and start to wait.

-

When Simon comes back to his senses he feels someone gently stroke his hand. He groans and tries to open his eyes but it‘s like they‘re glued together.

“Careful SImon,“ he hears your voice as you carefully wipe his hair out of his face. “Take it slow, you‘re still weak,“ you explain, now grabbing his hand with both of your hands.

“Water,“ he manages to rasp out, trying to squeeze your hand as a sign that he is okay, that he is fine.

You squeeze back with a faint smile, watching your boyfriend with a worried look on your face. “I‘ll get the doctor. They will want to check you. You were gone for quite some time.“

You want to stand up but Simon refuses to let go of your hand. “Stay,” he tells you and that’s what you do. You stay.

You look around the room until you find the call button and you press it. A few moments later a nurse and a doctor enter the room and the check up is done on Simon.

20 minutes later it’s done and the doctor turns to you. “I assume he will live with you?” You nod. “Good. He shouldn’t walk for at least two weeks so that his leg can recover correctly. Afterwards I recommend crutches.”

Again you nod, and grab Simon’s hand. “Is he safe to fly? I, uh, live in Denmark…” The doctor grimaces as he thinks and sighs.

“He needs enough room for his leg. If you can’t arrange that I heavily advise against flying, even if it’s only two to three hours,” he explains, glancing back and forth between you and Simon.

“We will be able to organize that,” Price’s voice suddenly sounds from the door and you spin around in your seat.

The doctor raises his eyebrows in surprise before he nods. “Alright. If that is the case…” then he looks at Simon. “We’ll keep you here for a few days to make sure your wound is alright and then you’ll be able to go home.”

Simon nods, “Thanks doc.”

When you and Simon are alone again he pulls you closer to him. “Does Louis know?” he asks, adjusting himself on the bed so that you’d be able to lay beside him.

You sigh, “I left him at his friend's house. He’s in Denmark. I…don’t know if he suspects anything.” You let your head sink onto his shoulder. “Those past weeks have been hard for him, Simon. He barely got out of bed, except for school…” You feel tears brim in your eyes and Simon immediately takes your hand again.

“And you?” he wants to know in a quiet voice.

You glance at him, then avert your gaze. “It’s been hard for me too. It’s different when you’re on the other side, you know. When I was still with the 141 deployment came so easy for me but now, now it’s totally different…”

Simon hums along as you talk, playing with your hand to keep you grounded. After you're finished he opens his mouth to talk. “This was my last mission,” he says and you need a moment to comprehend that.

“What?” You sit up on the bed to properly look at your boyfriend.

“I said, this was my last mission. I told Price I want to retire. I have my 20 years full and…you and Louis deserve someone who’s actually there and not gone 90% of the year,” he explains, still unsure of your reaction. Would you accept it and be happy or would you try and talk it out of him?

“Simon, this is a pretty big step and—“

“I’m sure, love,” he interrupts you. “I thought about it even before I left. I want to leave and the fact that I’m chained to this bed is a pretty good confirmation that retirement has come for me.”

For a few seconds you say nothing but then you bend down to place a passionate kiss on his lips. “I love you Simon,” you whisper as a tear finds its way down your cheek. “I love you and I will support you no matter what.”

-

“Simon?” Louis’ head peaks through the barn door before he slowly walks in. “Are you here? Mom said you would.”

Simon’s head rose and he let the bunch of hay he had in his hands fall to the ground. “I’m here buddy!” he calls out and pulls his gloves off.

Seconds later Louis stands in front of him, his arm extended with a letter in his arm. With suspicion in his eyes Simon takes the letter and starts to read it.

Simon’s eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the letter and Louis can’t help but be nervous. Was it the right decision to give this to Simon before talking sign his mom?

“This is an invitation for dads,” Simon says after finishing reading. He looks at Louis, confusion written over his face. Then it dawns on him. “You want me to come with you?”

Louis averts his gaze and nods before he starts to ramble, “I do, yeah… I know it’s ‘Bring your dad to school day’ and I know you don’t work anymore but you had such a cool job and—“

“I’ll go with you,” Simon interrupts the boy. “I will 100% go with you!” He walks towards Louis and extends his arms. “C’mere buddy.” He embraces the boy and ruffles his hair. “I feel very honored right now, do you know that?”

Louis nods against Simon and tightens his arms around the man. “I love you lil‘ man,“ Simon mumbles, not wanting to let go of your son just yet. He never thought that he could be a dad—or anything remotely close to that—but now, he loved every second of it…