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syuga-s · 5 months

Text

who do you blame?

w.c. 11.9k pairing. Yoongi x fem!reader, Taehyung x fem!reader genre. hello again ANGST, slight smut, romance a/n. NSFW MDNI !!! curse words, alcohol, sexual content (just fingering this time),, i may or may not have a second part to this fic 😼 ENJOY pookies <3

Don’t know if I can call it insomnia if I literally sleep at this hour all the time.

I want to dye my hair black again.

But this restlessness feels different.

Maybe that third cup of coffee’s doing its thing.

I was so close to having a panic attack; I did cry, though. And I still want to for a variety of reasons.

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things this week. I really want to see Yoongi like, right now. That’s how I know I’m not doing well.

Lately, I’ve been pondering the idea of resentment and how it means that envy is the emotion you’re feeling. At first, I dismissed it because how do you go from one emotion to a completely different one? But hell maybe they’re right.

I may envy people and their ability to forget how someone else made them feel. Or how they’re able to just overlook someone’s actions. Because I can’t do that. I take everything to heart.

How can you not when those actions were directed at you? Even though I’m used to excusing them and saying, “maybe they’re going through something big, and I just got the short end of the stick,” “maybe they didn’t actually mean it,” or the great, “maybe you’re not the only one that they treated like that, don’t feel so special.”

Alright, but why does it have to happen? Is it that tough to be considerate of someone’s feelings?

Good thing I haven’t texted Yoongi. I’m pretty sure I’m having a weak moment.

Do I want to keep up with that mess? Because that’s what it is.

I just can’t stop thinking about him. I think I miss him. But I refuse to be the one that reaches out for him this time. I’m still pondering if I genuinely miss him or if I’m just fucking lonely again.

Pretty sure it’s the second one.

At the same time, I wish he would grow up more and be ready for something serious.

“Sooooo… I dyed my hair again last night,” you confessed to Gemma on the phone. She was on her way to your house to pick you up because tonight you two were attending a concert.

Your best friend sighed, and you could practically imagine them rolling their eyes. “What color is it this time?” Gemma sounded exasperated, but she wasn’t; it didn’t even surprise her anymore. All her concerns were how you managed to not fry your hair whenever you wanted another makeover.

“I guess it looks kind of black?” You muttered and pressed your lips while you waited for your friend to say something.

“UGH, I can’t wait to see you!,” “you better be ready too because I’m hungry, and you know our pho place closes early!”

“I know, I know. Surprisingly, I AM ready; I’m just looking for my keys.”

This was your and Gemma’s ritual almost every Friday or Saturday night, depending on your plans. Tonight, it was Friday, and you had your usual king size pho, talking about work, your hair on this occasion, and most importantly, the band you were going to watch in a few hours.

You forgot to mention how you’ve been feeling about Yoongi. You thought that conversation could be saved for another time.

As soon as you arrived at the venue, the band came out.

It was one of these L.A. indie bands that both of you discovered this same year. Whenever Gemma was over at your place, you always ended up watching their music videos, fawning over the vocalist. So, when you found out they were doing a concert soon, you knew you had to be there.

It lasted around an hour, which was a little underwhelming compared to the other concerts you’ve attended. Still, all was forgotten because that damn vocalist was as dreamy as you imagined.

When the concert ended, Gemma and you found yourselves a table to keep talking over drinks. You didn’t count on Sam, one of your other friends, calling and telling you she was coming over.

You didn’t usually mixed your plans, but it felt kind of inevitable tonight.

You also thought the place felt kind of dead and guessed it wouldn’t hurt to have more people with you.

Sam arrived with her brother’s girlfriend. Before anything else could be said, they both said, “This place is dead.”

“What were you doing in here?”

You laughed at the confused expression your friend had on her face. She knew you were at a concert, but you then explained you were just sitting and drinking, nothing special.

“We should go somewhere else! What do you say about going downtown?” The brother’s girlfriend addressed you.

You pursed your lips and turned to look at Gemma to ask her what she wanted to do. “I’m staying over with you, so I’m giving you the privilege of deciding.” You smiled at your friend and thought about it. You wanted to keep drinking; it was barely 11 p.m.

You turned to Sam to tell her it was okay, but before you opened your mouth, she tried to convince you, “Come on, let’s just go for a while; Hoseok’s over there with some friends!”

Hoseok is Sam’s brother.

Hoseok is Yoongi’s best friend.

It’s pretty evident that wherever Hoseok was, Yoongi was there too.

Fuck, did I manifest this?

“Let’s go then.”

What a miracle, what a coincidence.

A kiss on the cheek. All kind. Warm greetings—the kind that makes you want to kill whoever invented manners. You see each other from time to time, often at random places and gatherings like tonight.

You haven’t seen Yoongi in over ten months.

You haven’t seen him since that last date you had. If you can call it that.

Last year, life was kicking your ass, and Yoongi was everything you had. You truly needed someone, and he stayed with you throughout the messiest months of your life. He was your everything.

You were perfectly aware he was never going to be serious about you. He’s been in your life for eight years, and both of you have left the other countless times before. You two were just a bad joke. You never understood why he always insisted on coming back to your life just for him to treat you like always. Never something special. Never been the exception, always the rule.

But for those seven months, he acted like the person you always wanted him to be. You knew you were both a joke, but you always liked what “us” meant with him.

Last Christmas was the first time you spent a holiday together. It felt so important to you back then as if life was finally going your way.

You never expected what he had to say to you right on that day.

“First of all, Merry Christmas, honey”. He smiled as he looked at you. “You know I’ll always wish for you and your family to be healthy. I know this is important to you, but I’m sure you can rest a bit about that matter from now on.”

“I’m really happy you’re spending these days with me. You know I’m not fond of the holidays, but I want you to know this feels important to me.”

“I genuinely, truly, really want to keep you with me and for us to go out as much as we can, if you want to, of course. Because to be honest, if it were up to me, we would be doing a bunch of stuff together all the time, but it’s not just a matter of me wanting, so I hope you’d like that too.”

With his words, you went through all the emotions known to mankind. It’s been the first time you’ve heard something like that coming from him, and you felt strange. Thinking how you may have wanted that for years, now when it’s actually happening, you feel so disconnected from yourself, you start to think, “What can he possibly like in me? I’ve only shown him chaos these past months.”

But as soon as that thought crossed your mind, your heart told you, “Yet, he’s still here.”

He made you feel safe, so you committed to being the best version of yourself once again. After all you’ve been through, he’s never stopped being so good and patient with you.

He’s always going to have a piece of your heart.

Then came the inevitable change of heart one of you had every time.

This time, it happened to him. Of course.

You were supposed to go out one night, but you ended up going home in the middle of the “date.”

It’s like you weren’t talking to Yoongi anymore. He was acting cold, apathetic, indifferent, you name it.

You felt awful on your way home. You didn’t even want to think about the reason for his attitude towards you.

You wanted to feel hopeful, happy, and even in love, but it didn’t feel like that anymore. You wanted to trust in what Yoongi had told you just a few weeks ago. Maybe it was just something you wanted to hear, but you didn’t catch on to the intentions behind his words.

I actually fell for it this time.

There have been multiple times when you told yourself there was no future for you two. Why do you keep staying? It just makes you feel like shit in the end.

I just keep building unrealistic expectations, as if there was actually someone who could save me from my own problems1.

This time, you were hoping he was tired of you and would finally choose not to be with you anymore.

Farewell comes. Once again, you bury memories deep in the deepest ocean. Then it comes back and floats up.

There were eight people sitting close together at a little round table, and to your luck, you ended up facing Yoongi.

Beer never stopped coming to your table.

You had an impressive way of acting as if everything was normal. You were always like this. Of course, Yoongi made you angry, but you’ve never resented him for something. Acting full of hostility in front of both of your friends would never be one of your goals.

On some other occasion, maybe you would’ve ignored him and his glances, but you can’t deny that you’ve wanted to see and talk to him for the past few weeks.

Your friends weren’t fond of your “relationship,” yet they were always curious about how you two treated each other whenever you saw each other after a while. Everyone always knew when you two were together and how many months you had spent without talking.

You can’t tell if that’s good or not, but everyone knew it was just a matter of time before you started seeing each other again.

Tonight was going well. You haven’t seen Hoseok or the other guys in a while. Aside from whatever you had with Yoongi, they were your friends, too. Not too long ago, you always went out on weekends to bars, parties, and the occasional concerts.

Ever since you distanced yourself from them a little, they got into relationships. It wasn’t until today that you actually spent time with them and their partners and got to know them a little.

Jimin was sitting on your right, and eventually, you found yourselves talking apart from the others. He started telling you about his partner and how he got in a little fight with them over whether it’s right or not to look at other people at the gym.

Later, the others were all over that topic, arguing whether it was socially acceptable or not to look at someone else at the gym while your partner was there with you. All the alcohol you’ve drank made itself present. Your overall volume rose with each minute, with everyone voicing their opinions.

You had already told tipsy Jimin your point of view, so you got fed up with the subject when it turned into an actual discussion between Hoseok and his partner.

Sam and Gemma were still talking with Jimin over what he did, his partner’s words, and whatnot. So you found your chance to get up and go to the jukebox.

It took less than two minutes of you looking through the catalog when you suddenly saw a tall figure standing by your side.

“Hi,” he said.

You turned to look straight into his eyes. “Hi.”

“You look radiant, better than before.”

You bit your smile back and answered, “can’t complain.” Still searching for a song.

He came closer to you, “we meet again.”

A smile escaped from you. “It’s been almost a year, huh.”

Now they’re walking on ice. To see who slips first. No strings intertwined. They were never anything, but there was always something.

“I know, it’s crazy.” He wasn’t going to waste any more time. “Can we meet later?”

There was something.

“My friend is staying over.” You had already picked two songs but still had three more credits.

“I can come by.”

You were thinking hard about which songs to pick, but Yoongi was making it really hard to concentrate.

Of course, I want you to come over. Yet, I still want to hang on to the small remains of my pride.

“I think it would be better if we go out sometime this week if you want.”

Filled with anxiety over what you were arranging, you started tapping your fingers against the machine, not remembering which artist you were looking for in the first place.

“I thought you no longer wanted to see me.”

You lifted your chin to look at him and gave him a smirk. “Well,” you said with a nervous laugh, “I did, but I can’t lie to you; I’ve been thinking about you for days.”

“Why?”

“Why? What do you mean why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you were done with me.”

“Yoongi, we can’t talk about that here.”

You were finally searching for the last song. “Well, I’ll see you at your house later.”

Again, you turned to look at him but gave him an annoyed expression. You kept going through Pink Floyd’s songs, your distress not letting you find your favorite song by them.

“Can I? Just for a while. I want to talk to you.”

“Talk about what Yoongi?”

Finally, <The Great Gig in the Sky>.

“About why you left like that back then.”

You finally turned your whole body to answer him, “Alright then, you can come by later.” And with that, you returned to your seat at the table. Everyone asked what took you so long, and while you explained that you couldn’t find the songs you wanted, Yoongi came back to his seat, too. All eyes were on you, his included.

It actually got you happy that he talked to you first.

Untethered intertwining. They were never anything, but there was always something.

Sam, Hoseok, and his girlfriend left around 2 a.m., but the rest of you kept finding things to talk about.

You never stopped drinking, but you weren’t feeling drunk yet. In one of your trips to the bathroom, Gemma told you she liked Yoongi for the first time, and it got you all giddy. As you were walking back, you and Yoongi couldn’t take your eyes off of each other. Both of you were getting impatient to finally be alone again.

You’re both talking to your friends, and you’re laughing, and you look across the table. You’re not even far apart, but you catch each other’s eyes, and it’s this secret that exists right there, unnoticed, and no one else knows about it, no one else but you and Yoongi.

The rest of your friends were already drunk, so he told you, “We should go.”

“Come on, I’ll take you both home.”

Gemma hopped in the back of his car, and you got yourself in the passenger seat.

All your actions were too familiar for someone who hasn’t seen this guy in over ten months.

The next thing you knew, your phone connected automatically to his car, and he urged you to put some music on.

It was until this moment, on your way to your house, that you realized you were very drunk. You don’t even remember which playlist or songs you played.

When you arrived home, you gathered all your might to get Gemma inside. (Yoongi helped you open all the doors and, most importantly, carry Gemma to your room).

You got Gemma into your bed, changed her clothes, and left her a glass of water on your bedside table. You also used the moment to gulp a glass of water yourself. Meanwhile, Yoongi was already settled in your living room, his eyes not leaving you. Lying on your couch, recognizing when you were feeling more than tipsy. “Are you drunk?”

His voice scared you for a second. You did not realize he was still there or that he was watching your every move. Your smile gave away that you were indeed feeling a little drunk.

“A little? Maybe?”

The way he laughs always gets you. It has this cute yet manly note that you’ve always loved so much.

You curled up on your couch next to Yoongi, facing him. You truly wanted to hear what he wanted to talk about, but this newfound comfort of being on your couch made you sleepy. At the same time, the way he was looking at you was letting the alcohol in your system wear out.

His heavy gaze no longer made you think about talking with him. All you wanted was for him to hold you and kiss you like he used to as if he couldn’t wait any longer to press his lips on yours, to interrupt you while you were saying something with a kiss filled with the desire you both had for the other.

“Are you dating someone else?” His question shocked you. You looked at him wide-eyed. Yoongi looked directly at your eyes like they were the only thing in the room, fearing that if he looked somewhere else, he’d miss the truth coming from your eyes.

Your face turned into a frown, and drinking in his words confused you. You sat straight to ask your first question, but he beat you to it. “Is that why you left me?” The blood drained from your face.

Is he serious? Is he genuinely clueless? Or is he just being stupid?

“Is that what you want to hear? That I’ve been dating around?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that you disappeared again; if you wanted me to go to hell, you could’ve said so.”

“What are you even saying, Yoongi?”

“I thought you were dating someone.” He let out what must have been a bitter laugh.

“Well, I’m not… I don’t have time to go out with ‘people’.”

Do you even know why it’s so goddamn impossible for me to let you go? Because every song, every moment, and every person reminds me of you.

Why did you even want to see him this time around? Have you ever thought about that? It didn’t even matter because it was always the same. You suddenly forget how you feel or whatever you wanted to say as soon as you’re in front of him. Even if you said something, he wasn’t going to listen. He never does.

“Are you dating someone?”

“That’s not what I wanted to talk about. I need to know why you left me that night.”

“So, you are dating someone...”

“Just tell me why you left me.”

“Fine, I bet I won’t even remember this in the morning,” you laugh softly, maybe in preparation for what you would say next.

You collapse back onto your couch, sighing as your head sinks into the soft cushions. Your eyes drift upward, fixating on the blank expanse of the ceiling above you.

“It’s just that… I don’t know; that day, you were acting so strange toward me, and I truly thought you weren’t my Yoongi anymore. It’s like you were dying to get out of there, and I figured it would be better if I was the one who left first”. You smiled, but everyone could have seen the bitterness behind it. “I trust- no, I hoped… that what you told me that you wanted for us was true, but I couldn’t see a trace of that in you anymore. I didn’t want to turn into an anxious mess and think about you non-stop or… try to find out why you acted like that, so yeah, I left you again.”

He felt a tightness in his chest when he heard you say, “My Yoongi.” It wasn’t helping that your words sounded so real to him at that moment. This was easily the third time he’d seen you somewhat vulnerable. He was going to regret talking about this.

“Do you want me to ask you what was going on with you that day?” Your head was still on the couch, but it was now turned to get a better look at his face. You were still smiling.

He thought, Why is she smiling? Why is she always smiling?

“But you said you weren’t gonna remember this in the morning.” There goes his sweet laugh again.

“We can try.”

“Can we try with a kiss instead?”

Only the sound of cars driving by could be heard.

You don’t even remember that kiss anymore.

That should have been a dead giveaway that everything was bound to turn out very wrong after that night.

The following days were even worse. Your conversations over text were boring and awkward. You felt that he was being an ass on purpose, as if he was making you pay for what you “put” him through. Sick and tired. That’s how you were beginning to feel towards this ongoing joke. Over the week, you started remembering the first thing you wrote about him. It was the first time you’d drifted apart.

“I want to see you. I want to be with you now. I hate feeling this needy. I like you so much that I don’t know what to do with all these emotions. Remember that night when we kissed for the first time? Our lips touched, and I think my heart lost its rhythm for a few minutes. It’s okay if you don’t remember it the way I do. But I want you to know that I’ll never forget how you made me feel that night. I think I fell in love with you since then. I’ve missed you almost every day since you left. I realized that I look pretty when I’m sad, but I look prettier when somebody says your name, and I smile uncontrollably. I wish I could explain the physical pain I feel inside my chest when I think about you. And I wish that pain could be erased if we’re being honest. I don’t know what’s wrong with us. I’m running out of ideas to make this work, and I feel like if I don’t do something to save us, you won’t do it either; even though I know you care, I know you’re just going to stand there, arms crossed watching everything drift away. I can’t get out of my head that time you said that you felt that you were hurting me instead of making me feel good, and I said that sometimes I think I hate you. I swear I didn’t mean it. It’s just that I’m too scared of losing you for good because I have this feeling that I won’t feel like this ever again; I’m afraid I’ll have to lose this part of myself that feels genuinely in love with someone. I thought we were made for each other. I thought you were one of my soulmates. I still think we are. But we keep fucking it up every single time. I won’t lie; I’m fine some days, but the smallest things break me. I know it’s not your fault that I’m so damn sensitive, but my feelings have always been this intense, this is who I am, and I was hoping that you would learn to love the whole mess that I am just as much as I love yours. It’s not that I can’t be with someone else and forget about you—I know I can—but I don’t want to be without you. I don’t know what it is about this day, but my head feels so much heavier when we’re having problems. I feel mad at you, and I bet you’re mad at me, too. Have I always been this hard? Or are you just realizing that being with me is a lot of work and I’m not worth it? I’m not ready to let you go. You’re the only guy I’ve ever wanted to keep around. You treat me so well when we’re together. I love when you take my hand in yours. I love every time it’s just you and me, and we talk about life. There’s no one for me but you. You’re the only face I can see. I hope you know I’m only pretending to hate you when I love you so much. After all, I’ll always hope it’s you and me in the end. I’m happy if I get to be with you.”

That was seven fucking years ago. Funny huh?

It was never supposed to turn out like this. Who would’ve thought that someone could pull you down like this under the guise of love? Was it really only an individual’s fault?

Did it keep going because no one wanted to be the bad guy? If we didn’t have feelings for each other, if we didn’t think of each other, would we have dragged it on like this?

Those words played over and over again in your head. Whenever you came to be together again, that was eventually all you wondered about.

That first letter was born when the first layer that was blinding you was uncovered. It was as if something was finally letting you see the shape of the person Yoongi was—or at least the person he was with you.

Next year. The second “letter” came.

“Everything’s been so weird lately. I don’t get you. You didn’t talk to me for three days, yet you still think I’ll say yes when you want to see me late at night when you finally feel like it? Seriously? I’m angry at you, but mostly, I’m angry at myself. How can I be so blind to not realize that nothing will ever happen between us? Why am I still here? I know it’s because I want to be with someone, but maybe that person is not you. Because if you wanted to, we would be something by now. I know you won’t ever change because it’s been 2 years since this started, and you’re still the same. Maybe I fell in love with the hope and longing. All I did was imagine myself with you, I thought I was being patient about us. I can’t help but be a hopeless romantic, that’s all I’ve been my whole life. Occasionally, I find myself doing dumb shit all the time, like apologizing to the stars on behalf of both of us for not keeping our promises. I’ve been thinking about how sad I have been lately. Telling myself I’m stupid for loving you after all you’ve made me go through, how useless I feel, and how painful every day gets, honestly, this love I feel for you is making me crazy. But I shouldn’t be worrying about this. I know it may seem complicated to live with a broken heart, crying until your tears make you blind. I keep saying to myself, “It’s time you get yourself together, fall in love with yourself again, and forgive yourself for thinking you were stupid when you only acted out of love for someone who couldn’t see all you were.” But let’s be honest, being aware of all this still doesn’t make it any easier. I still feel so lost. And confused. I wish I knew how to stop loving you. I miss my peace of mind. I know what I’m supposed to do but don’t know where to start. I know that one day we’ll cross paths again, and I won’t feel a thing anymore, but until then, I’ll keep trying to convince myself that I don’t want you anymore. What have you done to me? What have I done to myself? What is it about you that ended up putting me through this hell? For the past few months, we barely saw each other. I still remember the last words we exchanged, and I feel sick, I keep wishing you would’ve done something else, hoping you would’ve said something different, but wishing for this doesn’t matter anymore, I’ll just keep hurting myself if I keep thinking about this version of you that I kept romanticizing. I’m tired now. All this was too much for me. But let me tell you one thing. I never even thought for a second that I was wasting my time with you. Not even when all my friends told me so. I took pride in myself for “knowing” when a guy doesn’t want you, but you were so confusing. You used to always be there. You knew exactly what to do and what to say so I could keep my love alive, making me think that maybe one day we would be together, but now I’m truly fed up with you. I’m angry. I know I can live without talking to you, but I don’t think I can be in the same room with you and not feel a thing. I’m telling you this because I want you to understand me. I want us to end on good terms because I know it’ll be impossible for us to stop seeing each other. So please help me, because this won’t be easy for me. I still care about you. I love you, but I can’t do this anymore. I need to keep crying, but understand me, I’m not crying for you. It’s just that I have so much inside me that I could never say to you. I know now that I was too much for you.”

In the span of two years, all that relationship lay before your eyes, yet somehow you didn’t want to see it. You decided to keep your hope alive even if it hurt you.

Several breakups between the two of you. A few relationships with other people in the middle of it all. Countless times you wanted to run to him just one more time. The occasional texts came from him, asking how you were and if you wanted to meet again.

You tried to be strong most of the time. You even felt you had gotten over Yoongi on every period where you’d stopped running into him. Those were the times when it was easy. But it was also quite embarrassing how quickly you’d fall into his trap once he got into your head again.

So yeah, you caved in after that kiss from last night.

You were letting this happen. You wanted this on this occasion.

It should be fine, right?

Eventually, after a few weeks, both of you started sorting out your emotions and everything felt pretty normal again.

Why do I make things so complicated when there’s no need to?

You can’t help but doubt yourself and doubt him. You want to know what’s in his head, yet you know it should be enough for you that he wants to keep seeing you.

All these doubts made you realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re treating this in the same way you would’ve years ago.

Just focus on the now.

Aside from that…

You like him very much. He can talk about a bunch of things with you. He can be cute when he wants to be. You used to have a lot in common in terms of music. You like his style. And let’s not get started on his tattoos. ON TOP OF THAT, HIS ARMS. For some weird reason, I always forget he has dimples.

Ultimately, years pass and you always run back to him. You genuinely enjoy being in the same room as him.

No one has gotten close to how he makes you feel. Every time you see him again, everything feels the same. Your feelings towards him haven’t changed.

The two people connected by the red thread are destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. This magical cord may stretch or tangle but never break.

A month later

Ah, shit.

You were having a relatively good weekend. It was the 4th of July. You spent it with your family and now it was almost midnight but you were still texting with your best friend. She was at a party with Sam, Jess, and all the guys. You were experiencing a mild fomo, but you had a deal with your parents, so you had to pass that party this time.

Even Jungkook texted you earlier asking why you weren’t there. But that’s another story.

Your best friend was getting drunker with every text she sent, but she had put herself on the task of updating you with all of Yoongi’s whereabouts and doings.

I mean go ahead I guess. It makes me feel like it’s my fault for not showing enough interest again. This is making me uneasy. Because I like him but turns out he doesn’t like me enough? I WANT TO SCREAM.

I shouldn’t be angry because it’s my fault. I know so. I’m not trying enough, and maybe this was bound to happen. I can’t ask him to just talk to me. He needs to live his life too, he’s human, and he gets tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t seem “invested” in him. FUCK.

He ended up coming to your place around 1 a.m.

And this time, you actually talked. You were worried he’d drank too much, but he showed to be as sober as one can be.

Before he got there, you were extremely nervous, but once you sat with him on your couch, all your tension and fears calmed down. You valued that he was able to make you feel that way.

Your feelings went on a rollercoaster in a matter of a few hours, it was so fucking strange to read those words. To paint yourself a picture of what Yoongi was doing with you.

“Why weren’t you at the party?”

“I spent the whole weekend with my parents, so I couldn’t go.” “I wanted to, though.”

“It would’ve been cool if you had gone, everyone was asking about you.”

A smirk appeared on your face. “And what did you tell ’em?”

“That you didn’t want to see me,” He joked.

You started playing with him.

“That’s sliiightly true,”

After that, he laughed but got closer to you. He even got a lot more talkative, narrating to you everything he and your friends did earlier on. You were pretty entranced in him. It’s risky when you love to hear someone just talk. He took in the way you were gazing at him and figured there was no point in wasting more time. It was obvious Yoongi only went to your place to see if he was getting lucky tonight.

You realized his face was inching closer to yours. Your eyes scanning his own. Him doing the same, with the occasional glance at your lips. You weren’t gonna kiss him. Still, you let him get close enough so your lips could brush each other.

Then you smiled.

You weren’t gonna miss the chance to let him try to explain to you what the hell was going on, so you thought you’d go straight to the point.

“Can I ask you something?”

He returned your smile.

“Wait, let me guess”- “You want to know if I have a girlfriend”.

Motherfucker.

Your smile faltered slightly at him guessing the question, but he maintained eye contact with you. “Yeah, I figured that’s what you wanted to ask,” he replied. His tone is a mix of playfulness and seriousness. “No, I don’t have a girlfriend.”

The way his mind immediately went there. We’ll worry about that later.

Yoongi’s words echoed in your ears, you couldn’t help but believe him. There was something about his voice, his gaze, that made you blindly trust his every word.

Yoongi’s expression softened, his gaze unwavering. “I want you to know that I’m being genuine right now. I don’t have a girlfriend, I’m not seeing anybody formally, romantically, emotionally, or whatever you imagined. I want to give us a chance to make things right for you.”

You clung to the hope that this time he was telling the truth.

A sense of relief washed over you as you leaned closer to Yoongi. Ignoring the cautionary whispers in the back of your mind, you let yourself be swept away by his intoxicating presence.

His lips met yours in a passionate kiss, and for a moment, it felt like all your doubts and worries faded away.

Days turned into weeks, and you reveled in the blissful illusion of having Yoongi in your life once again. Yoongi seemed attentive, caring, and utterly devoted to you. He showered you with affection, making you believe that you were his only one this time.

Over the next months, your interactions with Yoongi were limited to texts. There were no dates or visits to your house or his place, for that matter. It’s like he was growing bored. But that’s nothing new anymore.

You started to grow tired of his refusal to let you go, even if he didn’t like you the way you liked him. You knew it was time to move on and find someone who would honestly reciprocate your feelings.

And then, on a spontaneous note, one day, you stumbled upon someone through Instagram.

thv replied to your story.

It started with you two sending each other songs for a few days.

Then, when you got to actually talk to him. You realized he was funny, his music taste almost immaculate, he was extremely nice to you, and he cared about what you had to say. You basically had the same interests. And hands down, you enjoyed talking to him a lot.

Ever since you started talking to this new guy, called Taehyung, you felt like something had shifted in your life. And it’s only been 3 days since then.

This time, it turned out you were wrong. Wrong about everything.

I can’t regret anything, because I tried, I wholeheartedly tried. I don’t plan to try and understand him anymore.

Yoongi had been lying through his teeth the whole time. He did have a girlfriend, and he reveled in his power over you. He enjoyed playing with your emotions, relishing in his control over you.

You found out a few days ago, and you struggled to know what to do. You weren’t going to just ghost him. You couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be passive-aggressive toward him, and it showed in your texts.

But you weren’t counting on that he was even more of a cynic than you. And you were getting angrier that he wouldn’t accept anything and refused to let the conversation die.

So yeah, it took 3 days.

It took you that long to get yourself way ahead of everything. About Taehyung specifically.

You don’t remember having met him before.

If only you knew that he remembers the first time he saw you in college and several parties after that.

He’d grown attracted to you every time he saw you. However, you never once seemed to acknowledge his presence.

And don’t get him wrong. He didn’t mind. You were just a platonic interest. Somehow he knew you weren’t exactly available even if he never saw you with a guy before.

He just took his chance a few days ago, not expecting anything. Just with the simple excuse of finally getting to know you.

He was a good listener, interested in your thoughts. With each message exchanged, your connection grew extremely fast.

This got you scared. You had barely talked to him and were already getting VERY INTERESTED.

On the fourth day, he invited you to the movies, but ended up going out to two bars and then dancing.

You shared even more stories, talked about your dreams, and even found yourselves discussing your insecurities in your love life.

Taehyung made you feel seen, heard, and valued – something you hadn’t felt in a long time. He was patient and understood your reservations.

On the cab, in the way back to your place, you rested your head on his shoulder, hand in hand, you truly felt so calm, it had been the nicest date ever.

Hell, you haven’t even had a proper date in years. So, no one can blame you when you finally let yourself be vulnerable for once.

Taehyung knew he’d like you, but never to this extent. He wasn’t scared when he realized he was falling in love with you. All he wanted was to see you every single day from now on. He took the initiative to plan a date next week, but you went out of town to visit your cousin.

So Monday it is. There was only one thing that you had to take care of. Before you let yourself move on to the next step in your love life.

Dealing with Yoongi was getting tiring, so it finally happened. The long overdue conversation occurred. Over texts, but it happened.

For once, you didn’t see the point in continuing. You and Yoongi have been through this road way too many times, and nothing has changed.

You decided to cut ties with Yoongi for good on that Monday. From now on, Taehyung could be the only one in your head.

As you were getting ready for your date with Taehyung, you couldn’t help but think about your conversation with Yoongi just a few hours ago. It was strange how life presented you with new opportunities right on the heels of letting go of the past. The decision to leave Yoongi was still fresh in your mind, but you hoped that this date with Taehyung would make you feel different, as bad as it could sound, but a distraction to that awful bit.

Taehyung took you to the movies, and from the moment the film began, your hands found each other’s, fingers intertwining. The dimly lit theater provided the perfect backdrop for this quiet display of affection. The movie itself was fun at times, but it was almost a blur of scenes and dialogue because your attention was elsewhere. You didn’t realize that Taehyung also spent that entire hour and a half not watching the movie, but watching you. He observed the way your eyes lit up at the funny parts, the sound of your laughter made his heart skip a beat. It was as if he had his own private screening of your reactions, and to him, it was the most captivating thing in the world.

The next stop on your adventure was an arcade, a place filled with flashing lights and the noise of all the games you can imagine. You couldn’t resist the air hockey table, and without hesitation, you both grabbed the paddles. As the puck glided across the smooth surface, it was evident that both of you were really good at it. Soon, a couple of small kids had gathered around, their eyes wide with fascination as they watched you play.

Taehyung, multitasking effortlessly, started chatting with them while maintaining his competitive spirit. A little girl, no older than seven, stood beside you, her eyes sparkling with innocence. She looked up at you with a hopeful smile and asked, “Are you going to beat your boyfriend?” Her question caught you off guard, and you burst into laughter at her adorable bluntness. Taehyung, engrossed in his conversation with the other kids, didn’t hear the question. All he could see was how your laughter sounded like the sweetest melody in the world.

Distracted by your laugh, Taehyung lost to you in the game. The little kids erupted in cheers, celebrating your victory as if you had just won a championship. They eagerly lined up to give you high-fives, momentarily forgetting that Taehyung even existed. That was until he, still keen on entertaining the kids, asked if they knew how to play. The result was an excited chorus of enthusiastic and loud ‘yes’s’.

It was an endearing sight as Taehyung listened attentively to the kids. Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but smile at how easily he connected with them.

“Okay, guys, what’s the next game we should play?” Taehyung asked, genuinely intrigued by their suggestions.

The kids seemed to have a dozen ideas at once, and it was all a jumble of arcade classics, from racing games to shooting hoops. One girl, with a mischievous glint in her eye, pointed at the dance machine in the corner.

“Can we try that dance game?” she asked, her excitement infectious.

Taehyung exchanged a playful glance with you, and you both agreed, despite the potential embarrassment that awaited you. The music blared from the machine, and you gave it your all, dancing like nobody was watching (except a group of kids, of course). Taehyung joined in nervously, even though his dancing skills were almost too good.

The kids burst into laughter at everyone’s dance moves, cheering you on with each step. It was one of those moments where embarrassment turned into pure joy, and you couldn’t have cared less about who was watching.

It was heartwarming to see him engage with them, making sure each child had a good time. After making sure the kids had enough tokens to keep playing, Taehyung gently took your hand, and together you wandered through the arcade. The place was a riot of flashing lights and game sounds, but it all faded into the background as you explored hand in hand.

Eventually, you came across the game involving knocking down rows of clown figures. You both paused, taking in the challenge. With the timer ticking down, Taehyung turned to you. His eyes sparkled with affection, and amidst the blinking lights and arcade tunes, he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

You paused for a moment, your heart racing as you looked into Taehyung’s eyes. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to kiss him - far from it. In fact, you felt a strong pull towards him, a connection that seemed to grow with every passing second. Even more so, after the side of him you saw today.

But there was something holding you back, a nagging doubt that whispered in the back of your mind. You had just met Taehyung, and even though the chemistry between you two was sweet, you wanted to take things slow. You didn’t want to rush into anything, not after what you’d been through with Yoongi.

So, with a soft smile, you gently shook your head and replied, “Not yet.” It was a response that carried a promise, a promise that there would be time for kisses and more in the future, once you were both ready to take that step. Taehyung nodded understandingly, his smile mirroring your own, and you continued your adventure to a bar, still hand in hand.

As you settled into a cozy corner of the bar, the atmosphere shifted, becoming more intimate. The soft hum of conversation, clinking glasses, and mellow jazz music in the background created the perfect backdrop for a meaningful conversation.

You started by talking about your time at the arcade, laughing about how the kids had cheered for you when you won the game. Taehyung joined in, sharing his amusement at their excitement. It was a light and joyful conversation that made you feel even closer to him.

Taehyung was genuinely interested in getting to know you better. He asked about your family, and you shared stories about your parents and siblings. In turn, he spoke fondly about his own family, reminiscing about childhood memories and you noticed how much he loved them.

Work became the next topic of discussion. You both talked about your careers, your aspirations, and the challenges you faced in life. Taehyung’s dedication and passion for his job shone through, and you found yourself admiring his determination.

As the night wore on, the conversation deepened. You talked about life, dreams, and the things that truly mattered to you. It was a conversation that left you feeling a sense of connection you hadn’t experienced in a long time. You realized that this was different from anything you had with Yoongi, something that was still scary to you.

As the night progressed and the conversation with Taehyung deepened, you couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast between him and Yoongi. Taehyung’s genuine interest in getting to know you, his kindness, and his openness were like a breath of fresh air compared to the complexity and uncertainty of your history with Yoongi.

The realization that this connection with Taehyung was different, something new and potentially beautiful, both excited and scared you. It was scary because it meant stepping out of your comfort zone, venturing into unfamiliar territory, and leaving behind the emotional rollercoaster that had defined your relationship with Yoongi.

But that fear didn’t deter you. In fact, it fueled a sense of courage you hadn’t felt in a long time. Maybe you were ready to embrace something real, something stable, and something built on honesty and trust. It was a daunting prospect, but for the first time in a while, it might be worth taking that leap into the unknown.

The night had stretched on longer than you had initially planned, but you didn’t mind one bit. In fact, you didn’t want it to end.

As Taehyung’s car pulled up to your place, reality seemed to rush back in. With the engine turned off and the night’s silence settling around you, you both remained seated in the car. It was one of those moments where time felt suspended, and neither of you seemed in a hurry to say goodbye.

You gazed into Taehyung’s eyes, his warm and sincere gaze locked onto yours. Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt a mix of anticipation and nervousness. You knew what you wanted, and in this moment, you felt a surge of courage you hadn’t experienced before.

Taehyung’s voice was soft, barely above a whisper, as he said, “I had a really great time tonight.”

You smiled, your heart racing. “Me too,” you admitted, your voice equally hushed.

For a moment, neither of you moved, the weight of the unspoken words hanging in the air.

Finally, you took a deep breath, your nervousness mingling with excitement. “Taehyung, can I ask you something?”

His eyes were curious. “Of course.”

Without overthinking it, you leaned in, closing the gap between you and Taehyung. In the dimly lit car, your lips finally met a gentle and electrifying connection that seemed to seal the promise of something new, something real.

As you pulled away, your foreheads touching, you whispered, “I’ve actually been wanting to do that all night.”

Taehyung chuckled, feeling a newfound hope. “Me too.”

Unable to resist kissing him way longer, you reached out again. The kiss started slow, a tantalizing exploration of each other’s lips. Your mouth was warm and inviting, and Taehyung couldn’t resist the urge to deepen the kiss.

Your lips moved together with a fiery passion, tongues dancing in a tango. There were no more words, just the intoxicating taste of each other. Your hands roamed, tracing all of his torso, igniting a fiery desire within both of you.

Taehyung bit your lower lip, sending shivers down your spine, and you responded with a soft moan. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as the kiss grew more fervent. It was a hunger that had been building all night, and now it was impossible to contain.

The kiss was wild, a passionate exchange, a language of desire and longing. You explored every inch of each other’s mouths, savoring the taste of your newfound connection.

When you finally pulled away, both of you were left breathless, lips swollen and hearts pounding. Taehyung’s eyes bore into yours, filled with an intensity that matched the fiery kiss you had just shared.

He whispered, his voice husky, “I’ve wanted to do that since the moment I saw you.”

You grinned, your own desire burning bright. “I’m glad we finally did.”

As you entered your home, the soft glow of your phone illuminated the room. You couldn’t help but smile as you saw a series of texts from Taehyung, sent with an urgency that mirrored the fiery passion of your kiss.

From that moment on, there wasn’t a single time of day when you weren’t texting each other. The connection between you two was electric, and it seemed like every message, every word, only deepened your bond. It didn’t take long for Taehyung to invite you again on a date, and he chose a taproom for the occasion.

Taehyung arrived the following Saturday at your doorstep around 7 p.m., his charming smile lighting up the evening. Dressed casually but looking effortlessly handsome, he greeted you warmly.

“Hey there,” he said, his voice a pleasant melody. “Ready for our night out?”

With a nod and an excited smile, you locked the door behind you and joined him. The short drive to the taproom was filled with easy conversation and soft laughs. When you arrived, you were greeted not just by the cozy atmosphere of the taproom but also by some of Taehyung’s friends who had already gathered there.

Taehyung couldn’t contain his excitement about introducing you to his friends. He made the rounds, enthusiastically presenting you to each one of them, his introductions filled with admiration. As the evening went on, his friends couldn’t help but tease you both when they knew you weren’t officially a couple.

However, that made them gush about Taehyung. They spoke of his kindness, his sense of humor, and his unwavering loyalty. They assured you that you’d found someone truly special, and it was clear they thought he’d done the same in finding you.

Throughout the night, amidst the clinking of glasses and the hum of conversation, you couldn’t help but feel a sense of warmth and belonging. Taehyung’s friends were welcoming, and their approval only added to the unique feeling of the evening.

As the night continued, the connection between you and Taehyung deepened. Your hands naturally gravitated towards each other, fingers interlacing as if they had always belonged together. There was a palpable comfort in being so close, and the world around you seemed to fade into the background.

In the midst of this enchanting evening, a message from Sam popped up on your phone. She was suggesting a plan for tomorrow - a baseball game. Without a moment’s hesitation, you enthusiastically said yes.

But what made your heart race, even more, was the eagerness to include Taehyung in your plans. You turned to him, a radiant smile on your face, and said, “Hey, my friends just invited me to a baseball game tomorrow. Do you want to join us? It’d be amazing if you’d come with me.”

His eyes lit up with delight at the invitation, and he nodded, “yeah, I’d love to be there with you.”

It felt like a natural step, merging your separate worlds and bringing Taehyung closer to your heart.

In your world, your friends were your anchors, your family, and the people who knew you best. If someone couldn’t fit into that crucial part of your life, it was often a telling sign that the relationship might not make it.

As you looked forward to the baseball game the next day, there was a mixture of excitement and nervousness. You believed in Taehyung and the genuine connection you shared, but there was always that sliver of doubt. Would he mesh well with your friends? Would they see what you saw in him?

But deep down, you had a feeling that this was a significant step. If Taehyung could seamlessly become a part of your world, it would be a powerful confirmation of your relationship.

Thoughts of tomorrow’s baseball game, and the potential changes it might bring, had temporarily vanished. All you craved at that moment were the hugs, kisses, and the warmth of holding Taehyung’s hand.

The atmosphere seemed to hum with your love surge, an electric charge that coursed through you, making every moment feel like a heart-pounding adventure. As you bid farewell to Taehyung’s friends, you couldn’t wait to be alone with him, to dance again at the same bar where your love story began.

Tonight, something was different. Your excitement was on an all-time high. The tension that had built up between you over the last dates, the unspoken desires and emotions, were now rising to the surface. The connection between you two was undeniable, and your touches were igniting sparks that seemed to intensify with each passing second.

In the dimly lit bar, the pulsating beat of the music coursed through your veins, syncing with your every move. The atmosphere was charged with anticipation, and as you moved to the rhythm, your dance became a sensual invitation. Your body swayed and undulated in harmony with the music, your hips swiveling provocatively to the seductive melodies.

Taehyung watched you with desire burning in his eyes, unable to resist the magnetic pull you had on him. Your dance was a mesmerizing display of confidence and allure. Your hands moved sensually across your own body, tracing the curves and contours that begged for his touch.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Taehyung stepped closer, his hands finding their way to your hips. His touch was electric, sending shivers down your spine. His fingers traced the curve of your waist, pulling you closer to him as he succumbed to the same fiery rhythm.

Your bodies moved together, pressed intimately against each other. The heat between you grew with every tantalizing sway, and the world around you faded into obscurity. In that moment, there was only the two of you, lost in the lights of desire and passion, each movement drawing you closer to an inevitable collision of lips and bodies.

As the night at the bar wore on, the two of you shared more than just dances. After one particularly intense moment, you found yourself with your back pressed against Taehyung’s chest, the thumping bass of the music reverberating through both of you. His breath was warm against your ear, sending delightful shivers down your spine. In that space, with his arms wrapped around your waist, it felt as if the world had disappeared, leaving only the sensation of his closeness and the rhythmic beating of your hearts in unison.

Between dances, you took breaks to calm yourselves with a beer or whatever drink you saw first at the bar. Each moment spent apart only seemed to fuel the intensity of your attraction. With every sip of your drink, you couldn’t help but glance back at Taehyung, a magnetic pull drawing you together once more. The atmosphere was heady with desire, and your chemistry was through the roof. Each dance, each stolen moment, was a step closer to something neither of you could resist any longer.

After those couple of hours of dancing that left you slightly breathless, you decided to seek refuge in one of the dimly lit booths at the corner of the bar. It provided a temporary sanctuary from the dance floor, allowing you to catch your breath and collect your thoughts amidst the lust that was echoing in your ears. The low hum of laughter and conversation from people around you provided a calming backdrop as you settled in, your heart still racing from the intimate moment with Taehyung, who had managed to stir emotions you hadn’t felt in quite some time.

He slid into the seat opposite you, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers through your body. In the closeness that the booth offered, you could feel something deeper between you. It was as though the music, which had once enveloped you in its intoxicating embrace, was reduced to a mere murmur in the back.

With a playful grin, Taehyung finally broke the silence that had settled between you. “You know,” he began, his voice a low, seductive murmur, “I think we might just be causing a lot of jealous looks in here.”

You chuckled, the sound husky and filled with desire. “I noticed.”

His fingers traced patterns on the table, drawing invisible lines as he continued, “It’s not just about dancing, though. I’ve been imagining being with you like this since the first time I laid eyes on you, and it’s been killing me all night.”

You met his gaze, your heart pounding in your ears as you whispered, “Since the first time you saw me?” Not trusting yourself enough to say what you were really thinking, so you mirrored his words.

Taehyung’s hand reached across the table, his fingers lightly brushing against yours. “I can’t keep my composure anymore,” he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. “I’ve been thinking about more than this all week.”

He paused, his gaze locked onto yours with a smoldering intensity. “You know,” he added with a sultry smile, “seeing you getting along so well with my best friends earlier, it just… made me so hard.”

The anticipation hung in the air like a charged current, a palpable magnetism drawing you closer together. It was a sensation you couldn’t ignore, a magnetic pull that seemed destined to ignite into something more profound.

You bit your lip, your pupils were blown, unable to contain the emotions surging within you. “Taehyung,” you began, your voice barely above a whisper, “if you keep this up, I think I might fall in love with you.”

His eyes sparkled with a mix of desire and affection as he leaned in closer. “Is that so?” he murmured, his lips tantalizingly close to yours. “Maybe that’s exactly what I want.”

Moments later, Taehyung led you to his apartment.

“I’m glad that we can finally be together like this.” He said with a sincere smile, his hand moving lower to cup your ass. He couldn’t resist anymore; he had to have you right then and there.

He slid his hand under your skirt, feeling the smoothness of your skin against his fingertips. Traced the outline of your panties through the fabric of your bottom. Taehyung felt a wave of arousal wash over him as he painted himself a picture of what lay beneath. Slowly, he slid his hands up your legs until he reached the hem of your panties. With a gentle tug, he pulled them down, revealing your wetness to him.

The sudden exposure caused you to blush slightly, but it only fueled his desire further. You couldn’t help but moan at the feeling of what came next “*Aren’t you going to see how wet I got because you?”

He leaned in and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek, then gently placed his hand on your inner thigh. As he did so, he whispered in your ear. “Do you really want me to do this?”

“I want this, trust me.”

He slid his hand up higher, feeling the warmth and dampness of your cunt. He could hear your soft gasps and moans as he touched your pussy. He continued to stroke you gently, feeling your muscles tighten around his fingers.

He heard your moans and started to become even more aroused. He could feel his own hard on growing in his pants, and he knew that it would only be a matter of time before you both got carried away. He slowly pulled back from you and looked into your eyes, his face flushed red with desire. You could tell that he was just as affected as you were.

You nodded, your eyes locked with his as desire coursed through your veins. You breathed, “I want you to touch me. I need your hands in me.”

A low growl rumbled in Taehyung’s throat as he gave you a hungry look, his fingers inching closer to your dripping core. “Fuck,” he muttered, unable to contain his own need. “I’ve been dreaming about this for days. About burying myself deep inside you.”

The raw desire in his words sent shivers down your spine, igniting a fire within you that burned hotter with each passing second. You could feel the wetness pooling between your legs, desperate for his touch.

His fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs, teasingly avoiding direct contact with where you needed him most. The anticipation was almost unbearable as you fought to maintain a hint of control.

“Please, Taehyung,” you whimpered, “don’t make me wait.”

A wolfish grin tugged at the corners of Taehyung’s lips as he finally gave in to both of your desires. His fingers dipped into your wet heat, eliciting a moan from deep within your throat.

“You’re so fucking wet for me,” he groaned, his voice rough with lust. “Did I make you this way? Did I make that pretty little pussy of yours ache for me?”

All coherent thought flew out the window as Taehyung pumped his fingers inside of you, hitting all the right spots that made pleasure surge through every nerve ending in your body. You could only manage to nod and let out a desperate moan in response.

He wrapped his other hand around your neck, pulling you closer to him. He could feel your pulse racing beneath his fingers, and he knew that you were enjoying this a lot.

He started to apply pressure to your neck, feeling your body respond to his touch. You let out a small gasp of air, and as he continued to choke you, he leaned in closer to your ear and whispered. “Do you like this, baby? Is this what you wanted?”

His thumb found its way to your clit, circling the swollen bud and sending jolts of electricity straight to where you needed it most. The pleasure was overwhelming, bordering on blissful torture, as he brought you closer and closer to the edge.

“Cum for me, baby,” Taehyung whispered, his hot breath fanning across your ear. “I want to feel you cum around my fingers.”

His words were all it took to push you over the edge. The coil of pleasure that had been building inside of you snapped, sending waves of ecstasy crashing through your body. You clung to him as you rode out your orgasm, his touch the only anchor keeping you grounded in a sea of sensations.

As the last tremors of pleasure receded, Taehyung pulled his hand away and brought it up to his lips, sucking your taste off his fingers with a look of pure satisfaction on his face.

After a few hours spent in tangled in touches, the clock ticked its way to 4 a.m., signaling the impending end of the night’s bliss. Despite the energy that was bubbling up between you, the evening hadn’t ventured beyond the boundaries of those lewd touches, leaving something else lingering in the air. As the minutes kept passing, a sense of reality nudged its way back into the forefront of your mind.

“You’re even sweeter than I imagined,” Taehyung’s voice, thick with desire, caressed the dimly lit room, echoing the sentiments of the night.

With a hazed smile playing on your lips, you gently disentangled yourself from Taehyung’s embrace, the need for rest tugging at your consciousness. “I have to go home, Taehyung,” you murmured softly, your words tinged with regret at the thought of parting, “I should get some actual sleep if we want to spend the whole day together again.”

Your fingers traced soothing circles along his shoulders, a silent reassurance of your affection. “You are coming with me tomorrow, right?” you queried, hope flickering in your eyes as you awaited his response.

In the hazy glow of his room, Taehyung’s gaze met yours, a promise dancing in his eyes. “Absolutely,” he affirmed, his voice laced with determination, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

With a final exchange of tender kisses and lingering glances, you reluctantly bid farewell to Taehyung’s warm embrace, bracing yourself for your way home.

Despite the lingering effects of last night’s alcohol roaming your body, a surge of adrenaline pulsed through your veins as you rolled out of bed, battling against the persistent fog of a very hungover you. With each groggy step towards the bathroom, the anticipation of the day ahead infused your weary limbs with energy, overriding the dull ache in your head.

As you splashed cool water on your face, the mirror reflected a mix of exhaustion and excitement in your eyes. Today was the day you’d introduce Taehyung to your best friends, a prospect that filled you with nerves. The thought of seeing their reactions, of sharing this part of your life with them, ignited a spark within you.

After downing a much-needed glass of water and popping a couple of painkillers to combat the lingering headache, you set about getting ready for the day. Despite the persistent throb at your temples, you couldn’t help but hum a tune under your breath, the thrill of today’s plan chasing away the last traces of drowsiness.

With each minute, the excitement grew, the clock ticking in slow motion as you counted down the moments until Taehyung went to pick you up. Finally, the sound of the doorbell shattered the quiet of the morning, heralding the arrival of your lover boy.

With a quick glance in the mirror to ensure you looked somewhat presentable despite feeling like shit, you hurried to answer the door, a smile of genuine delight spreading across your face at the sight of Taehyung standing on your doorstep, two large cups of coffee in hand and a grin that mirrored your own excitement.

“There we have my pretty and hungover girl,” he greeted you warmly, his eyes alight with anticipation, “are we all set for the big day?”

With a nod and a grin, you took the cup he handed you, the aroma wafting up to greet your senses. “Definitely”.

As you and Taehyung arrived at the stadium, the vibrant atmosphere of the bustling crowd greeted you with a wave of excitement. Sam, Gemma, and Jin were already waiting for you near the entrance, their infectious laughter echoing in the air as they exchanged playful banter.

“Hey, look who finally decided to show up!” Sam exclaimed, her grin widening as she caught sight of you and Taehyung approaching. “And who’s this handsome stranger you’ve brought along?”

lmk if you're up for reading the second part of this mess 🤭 bonus. just a little jungkookie for fun

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kawaiichibiart · 8 months

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....PRSK April Fool's Events I'd like to see happen:

Y'all had to have know this was coming: we play with the NPCs.

Everything is literally the same (visually), the VAs just switch who they play.

This is another obvious one: Sekai Swap

Again everything is (roughly) the same (visually), but the siblings have switched roles. So: Tsukasa is the one who ended up in the hospital and Saki is the one who forgot why she decided to pursue her dreams (in this case it was becoming a pianist). Shiho is the one who was part of a group before joining her current one (Leo/need), who was assigned a role and got bullied for things she couldn't control, and Shizuku's the one who wants to go pro (as an idol of course), so she finds jobs that could help with that (honestly the Hinomoris are giving me the hardest time to figure out a good swap for). Ena is the one who pushes herself too much and compares herself to her friends, while Akito is the one who seeks validation for his singing and gets disappointed when people prefer his selfies and OOTD posts over his singing ones.

The School Sekai, Stage Sekai, and Street Sekai are all created by one person (personal vote goes towards: Saki, Minori, and An, I will also accept Toya because I honestly think that'd be fucking hilarious), the Wonderland Sekai and the Empty Sekai are both created by a group.

Personality swap but the characters keep their....quirks (? I don't know what else to call it). Like, Tsukasa could have Kanade's personality but he'd still be loud as fuck. Ena could have Saki's but still be a bitch (I say that affectionately). Etc., etc.

...we need more kid designs and thus kid 2d models, but SEKAIs were created when they were kids. Saki would visit the School Sekai whenever she was out of the hospital but still unable to see her friends. Minori got to meet Haruka, Airi and Shizuku earlier and they all decided to become idols together. An and Akito are guiding these two, scared, lost, kids around the Street Sekai and introducing them to street music earlier. Tsukasa and Mafuyu are both the only ones who start off alone. Tsukasa goes into the Wonderland Sekai whenever Saki is at the hospital and their parents stay with her. He doesn't like being alone, so the Sekai brings him comfort and it was hard for him to accept that someone else could enter his Sekai. Mafuyu would go to the Empty Sekai to find comfort in Miku. She's a lot more like Len, hiding behind Miku, shy, absolute baby. She also has a hard time accepting others can enter her Sekai. For those two, Sekai was a safe haven, a place to ease themselves and find comfort. So when other people start showing up (not the VS), they're upset.

...this is a sign I've read too many groupchat fanfics: they're all part of a Nightcord (because I'm pretty sure we've all agreed Nightcord = Discord) group chat and all the area conversations are about shit that has been brought up in the chat. Bonus points if all of the convos are mixed units. Extra bonus points if they have no idea who started it in the first place.

I'd love a subtle fuckery where, again, everything is pretty much the same, but certain characters have had their colors swapped. Tsukasa and Saki, Shiho and Nene, Minori and Honami, Shizuku and Kanade...

Unit Shuffle 2: Electric Boogaloo

There's a world where rather than Tsukasa saving Toya, Toya saves Tsukasa. Where Kohane is the one who chooses An as her partner. Where Airi, Haruka and Shizuku are the ones who put on a show for Minori and pull her up on stage in their Sekai because they want her to see as the lights become a pale peachy/orange color for her. Where Mafuyu is the one doing the saving and not being saved.

Different childhood friends. That's it. Potentially could go along with number 10.

Once again, visually, everything is the same, but the last names are all over the place. Meet the Kamishiros: Ichika and Ena. Oh, the Aoyagis? You mean Aoyagi Shiho, Aoyagi Emu and Aoyagi Rui? It's strange how Saki Hinomori and Tsukasa Yoisaki look so alike.

#project sekai #project sekai colorful stage #hatsune miku colorful stage #proseka #prosekai #colorful stage #prsk april fools #project sekai april fools #genuinely love the idea of an and akito as kid holding kohane's and toya's hands when they first end up in the street sekai (again as kids)#and they guide the two of them around after making sure they were okay because while it was familiar to them #it wasn't to kohane and toya #i also love the idea of toya saving tsukasa and pushing him towards something he enjoyed #even if his parents disapproved of it #and again #i love a subtle fuckery #oh nothing changed... wait

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quibbs126 · 7 days

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I’ve just been drawing this today because I’m bored

I don’t think I can have free days anymore, because I end up feeling brain dead during them and can’t work on the schoolwork I know I need to do, and by the end of the day I feel guilty about wasting the day despite literally not being able to do anything actually productive

But anyways, this. I mentioned Fantasy Life earlier today, and I have a save file where put Ceres from Evoland 2 in Fantasy Life. I actually originally made this save file some months ago, but I never really played it, leaving it once I found the first save point I could

I only realize now this is like that time I put Descole into Stardew Valley. Hm

I still haven’t gotten much of anywhere in the game, I only just started the Carpenter story. And to be honest, I’m not sure I want to continue because I kind of just want my own character in Fantasy Life, but also I don’t know how to make that. So maybe I’ll just continue with Ceres and see where it goes, or I’ll just delete it

But out of boredom, I wanted to draw her from the game regardless

So the design here is what she looks like in the game, or as close as I made it. For various reasons, including the fact that I can’t add horns or non-human skin tones to my character, or have bicolor hair, I made some changes. Her hair probably also isn’t the most accurate hair I could have given her to her original, but I think it looks good on her

Also as you may notice, I don’t entirely know how I should draw her, whether I should be closer to the game or my style

I’m debating whether in my drawings I should stick to the Fantasy Life skin tone or give her the blue she canonically has. I flip flop on which I prefer

I only realized when I was looking at my other Evoland 2 art how wildly different this color palette is, and it’s probably significantly brighter. I mean for this I was eyeballing the colors from my 3DS’s screen, while I color pick from the Evoland 2 sprites, so maybe that’s a factor

Edit: I am now seeing it on a computer screen, and it looks even more different. Like that hair straight up just looks blue, I can't see any purple

But yeah, I really didn’t know what Life to give her when I made her, I just picked Carpenter because I haven’t done that one in a while. Maybe Alchemist would have been best, but I really don’t know. It doesn’t help that Ceres doesn’t have much of a personality I can make a decision based on. Though in all fairness, I’m not entirely sure what I’d make the other characters either

I’d say Fina either Woodcutter or Hunter, Menos probably a Paladin? (Just not for Castele specifically) Kuro I’d say Mercenary or potentially Alchemist works (though in terms of weapons Menos and Kuro should probably switch), and for Velvet I don’t really know, maybe Miner, Alchemist or even Magician? I don’t know, as far as I can remember, nothing fits cleanly with “archaeologist”

But anyways, maybe if I continue with this, I can basically make up my own personality for Ceres, so I should continue, but I don’t know if I’m motivated enough to do so. We’ll see. Take this in the meantime I suppose. It isn’t much of anything, but it is a thing

Oh also one more thing I forgot but can’t fit elsewhere: I think the storyline idea for Ceres here is that she ended up here post-Evoland 2, but she doesn’t really remember getting here at all, thinking she’s just been in Castele her whole life, until she starts slowly realizing things don’t add up. She isn’t from this game though, especially since I don’t think demons exist to explain why she’s blue

#but yeah I guess I just wanted to show you this #evoland 2 #fantasy life #evoland ceres #my art #crossover

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pixlokita · 1 year

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[RUIN SPOILERS]

wait, huh, i never noticed that printed on his paw. then.. whys he missing his head?

i mean, hes in the right area for the vanny endings where he got attacked, isnt he? he got thrown to the lower level of fazer blast in the vanny endings? and in one of them (save vanny) were literally shown a disconnected freddy head.

also, he does have an unopened gift box in his chest - im guessing a fazwatch, since im pretty sure its the same colors as the gift box our freddy had with the fazwatch in his stomach hatch. which feels like an interesting touch to add? maybe every freddy has it, but like i said earlier why would a prototype freddy be there in the first place? and if it IS our freddy like i first thought, shouldnt the gift box be opened?

freddy described it as a “novelty fazwatch”, and novelty can apparently be used to describe a cheap toy, so maybe freddys keep these on them to give to kids, but that still doesnt explain why the prototype is headless if thats not our freddy. i highly doubt hed be running all that well (both tech wise and literal running lol) if his head just got torn off in the rubble, and steel wool has been pretty consistent in acknowledging the damage animatronics suffer affecting their movement (specifically chica walks and runs like its awkward to move after being crushed, and monty drags himself across the floor). but this freddy basically hones in on us, despite assumedly being unable to see (roxy doesnt hone in on us in her decommission boss fight unless we make noise), and he moves around fine as though his system is entirely fine. it feels so odd.

i forgot to mention. your emo proto freddy cracks me up i love him. teen mike going forward in time.. a fascinating, humorous switcheroo lol

Yeah I didn’t really think too deep about it but this is all interesting TTwTT my small brain just thought heheh he has prototype written on his foot like woody in Toy Story had Andy’s name written on his shoe, must be a different Freddy! lmao but yes to all of this I was wondering if the head was missing to confuse us :0 there were soooo many wires sticking out of it tho like I don’t think the head made it out unscathed if it was ripped like that and most stuff was left connected to the body

#pix answers #fnaf #dlc ruin #spoilers

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cringe--is--dead · 1 month

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Hiya scarlet darling! Hope you’re doing well and that the weather is just how you like it (since everyone’s got a different favorite kinda weather) I’m here for a matchup if that’s alright! Please and thank you uwu)/

About me hmmm I’m always running around doing something whether it’s working or finding another hobby (that i have way too many of) I’m really relaxed (despite the chaotic schedule) and easy going and I love to take care of people!

Hobbies-wise I like to travel the most but baking and gardening are close seconds! Special interests are animals probably? I know a ton about them and tons of fun facts. Also I could talk about baking, eating, food for days and days.

I have a cat that is so clingy I could throw him and he’d shoot back like a boomerang lol. My style is girly and colorful i guess? and anything sparkly is good! a wonderful mix of cute but comfortable so there’s gotta be pockets on everything. I love a good overall too but…😩 im getting off track

I actually love period pieces like bridgerton or the gilded age and old black and white movies are so fun! I love fantasy too especially in books (i read TONS) and theres a movie called stardust that’s also a book? One of my all time favs. But old 80’s movies with the special effects are also delightful for me (and another special interest i forgot.)

important stuff ahh I’m affectionate with the people i love but when people show it back i get all flustered about it I’m like what do mean you love me 🫣 how bold despite clinging to them and gushing praises at them on the regular. I do end up blushing a lot even just when I get excited talking about what I like and I don’t come up for air while chatting a mile a minute. I love spending time with the people I care about to the point where I’ll drag them everywhere with me if im able to. I also tend to worry about them quite a lot even when there’s really nothing to worry about. I’m a little airheaded and daydream-y when I’m not busy doing something. Thats probably the only time I’m quiet tbh

SORRY IF I WROTE TOO MUCH I hope something in it was helpful ヽ(；▽；)ノ anyways I love you you’re the sweetest!!!<3 have a seriously awesome day!

NEVER APOLOGISE FOR WRITING! There can never be too much! (*＾▽＾)／

Also Stardust? Literally changed my life when I first watched it! Amazing movie! Never read the book but I'm adding that to my list!

MOVING ON!

I match you... with Umemiya!

The gardening hobby definitely caught my attention, but there are other reasons! Umemiya strikes me as the type of guy who takes care of everyone first before even thinking about himself, so having someone who cares for others means he has someone who will care for him! Making sure he rests, making sure he takes his glasses off before he sleeps, helping him in the garden, helping him style his hair, etc. All the little things you do to help him has his heart fluttering!

He loves hearing you talk about animals, even listens about different birds in the area and what their diets are, researches different veggies and seeds to add to the garden to try and get more birds visiting so you can see them!

Plus someone who loves cooking? He sends you home with fresh veggies almost weekly! You're saving money whenever you go grocery shopping, and if you bring him bentos with that food he eats it all! He brags about it to everyone too!

He would love your cat, but he would also have silent stare-downs with said cat for your affection. He goes to lay his head in your lap, but your cat's already there. Now they're silently staring at each other, neither blinking. You have to adjust both of these big babies to cuddle both of them.

I also can see you getting him to watch Bridgeton with you, and he is SO enthralled! You have nights where you eat snacks and binge episodes, he plays the soundtrack when on the roof tending to the garden. You created a monster, that's what you've done!

Ume also would love someone as clingy as he is, and even more so if he can fluster you while the affection happens! He gives me cute aggression energy, so if you're blushing whenever he proclaims he loves you or you two share a kiss, expect to have your cheeks squished between his hands.

I hope you enjoyed this! HAVE A GREAT DAY!

#scarlets!match ups #umemiya hajime

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theacedragon0w0 · 6 months

Text

Food for Thought

Sage having some reflection in cannibal town plus some Willow×Iris for the soul

Willow and Hazel belongs to the fabulous @puffymucher

Rosalina cameo for @mirconreadzztuff22

And Iris ofc belongs to the pookie @helluvadyke

Sage was excited to hang out with Iris and Willow today, there was a new bakery that recently opened up and Sage volunteered to scope it out for her wives, Hazel begged Velvette to let her go with Sage but Velvette reminded her that she will absolutely buy the store clean. Rosalina was away on a business trip with Ozzie so Sage asked Iris if they can meet up, with the deal that if there is any trouble that Sage will contact Velvette asap.

Sage spotted Iris at the front entrance and called the bloodhound for her attention, both bouncing as they hugged each other.

"Sagey it has been way too long!"

"We were literally escorting our bosses for a meeting last week," Sage chuckled.

"That doesn't count! That was strictly business, we definitely need to hang out that doesn't involve us standing behind our bosses."

"Like that ever is a complaint," Sage teased, looking behind Iris to see another hellhound that stood silent. The Doberman guard nodded along to the conversation, smiling whenever Iris looked over her shoulder to exchange glances.

Willow reminded Sage of Hazel, she was intimidating at first but seeing how she acted around Iris reassured Sage of the new addition to Rosie's security. The soft touches the two would exchange, not to mention that Sage saw the two split one of Sage's packed snacks which sealed Sage's approval. Honestly, Sage thought, those two were one of the cutest couples in hell.

The three entered the bakery, what caught Sage's eye was the large display case of the numerous types of pastries and cakes. Sage's gaze stopped at the sample plate, it holding carefully decorated hors d'oeuvres, with each one having a finger sticking out.

Iris waved her hand in front of Sage, "Hey SageCake, you alright?" With both already been trying out the free snacks on the plate.

"How do fingers taste?"

Iris was taken aback from the quick question, "well it depends on the demon who's finger is being eaten, the most common flavor is pork, the second one being chicken-"

Willow nudged Iris on her side, cutting off Iris' rant, pointing to Sage's prosthetic, "We can go to a different bakery if seeing these samples is bugging you."

Iris' face lost some of it's color as she realized the full weight of that statement, "Fuck me i forgot your whole hand thing, Willy's right we can go somewhere else with better tastes,"

Sage lifted her right hand, stopping the bloodhounds sentence, Sage looked at their prosthetic, the robotic fingers bending and flexing at her will, "To be honest, I am not bothered by it, maybe a little less than I should."

Sage then remembered all the events that came after that night, how they sought sanctuary at the hotel, getting their first prosthetic by Sir Pentious, being recruited by Velvette, nearly dying by holy arms, the physical therapy that their partner's helped them through, the rough nights that ended in a warm embrace.

They also remembered the look on the squads face when they gave her back her denim jacket, the one they were currently wearing.

Sage took a deep sigh, "Look, that chapter in my life is far behind me, and even if we found out where they sold my hand, it's pretty much a waste of time. Honestly the only thing that I think about it is how I would taste,"

"Oh I could help with that~" Iris smirked, wiggling her eyebrows that caused a snorting fit from Sage.

"I don't doubt that, now let me order some of these cakes for Hazel, and save me a sample too! I can see you guys nearly cleaning off the plate!"

The sillies ever your honor

#hazbin hotel oc #oc x oc #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin hotel velvette #oc x canon

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foxingpeculiar · 4 months

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FF7 R&R:

Okay, so I'm at the point in Remake where the plate has just come down. Which is about the end of act 2 (act 1 goes through Mako Reactor 5, I'd say).

How did Aerith get out of her house before I did? She must know a shortcut.

I like that we get little glimpses into the history of Midgar as Aerith and Cloud make their way back toward Sector 7. But I have a lot of questions. Why, for example, would they build the support pillar so that there's an option to destroy it? Was Shinra (since it was Shinra who built the city) planning on maybe having to do this? Was the Sector 6 plate dropped intentionally also?

Okay, so Wall Market is definitely the horniest section of this game, and is somehow even hornier in this version than it was in the original, despite the sequence playing out very differently (no ambiguous encounters in a bathhouse, for example). Instead, we get a dance battle, which is pretty hilarious. As are some of the encounters in this area: the teacher from the Leaf House as a HoneyGirl, Johnny... just kind of in general. The Materia Guy saying "Stop saying 'The Sauce.'" Johnny telling Cloud to "Grab it and whip it out" at the vending machine. Etc.

Chocobo Sam has kind of a Sam Elliott vibe to him, and I like the dynamic between him and Madame M. This game is good at that, those small interactions with characters who don't really play a HUGE role in the plot, but add color to the world.

It's fun that they worked in Hell House, which is definitely one of the weirder enemies in the original game, and remains so here. And yet, there it is. They never really explain... what its deal is, but that's fine. It's a "just go with it" kind of moment.

So the scene where Cloud first sees Aerith after Madame M makes her all up. Literal fireworks (my man is cuntstruck, right there, you can see it on his face). But they're really playing up the weird polycule angle here with Cloud/Aerith/Tifa. Cos it's Aerith who's the one that wants to go after Tifa in the first place, they have a couple of sexy rescues with each other, make that shopping date in the sewers. If it weren't for the... y'know, terrorism and ancient magic and stuff, they could be a fun little throuple.

I love the reactions to Cloud being basically forcefemmed for this sequence, too. Like how at first Tifa doesn't recognize him and when she does, he's just like "I nailed it, I know. Moving on." (Also, in Corneo's mansion: Aerith from the corner with a steel chair!) Am curious how the later scene with Corneo in Wutai will play out (cos he's a really good sleaze in this version).

Once they realize the pillar is coming down, Aerith tells Tifa "the future isn't set in stone," which feels like a really important line for this version especially because of the whole Whispers thing. They're actively working to keep the story on track--they intervene to kill Jessie and Biggs (or have them killed), prevent the team from stopping the pillar collapse, etc. Again, I'm really curious how they're going to follow through with that idea across the trilogy.

So, Rude is an interesting character. He specifically saves Tifa from Reno, but then he's the one who actually presses the button to drop the plate. I remember Aerith saying he's "not a bad guy," so it feels like an intentional choice to have him be the one to do it--complicating him as a person (as opposed to Reno, who's just an asshole: "two birds with a shitload of bullets" and all).

Also forgot Cait Sith shows up in this scene. Like he doesn't say or do anything, but he's there. And we already saw Reeve (and maybe it's the name, or the beard, but he does have some Keanu vibes), so they're seeding that.

I love/hate that Wedge died trying to save some cats.

But okay. On to Shinra HQ. Eventually.

#personal #video games #FF7 remake #ff7r #gameblogging

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finnissilly · 9 months

Text

Triple threat - dnd campaign updates (3)

Fellas.

Here was the last part of you didn’t get the chance to read it:

Back to the main story, session 11:

A very short session, all we did was beat up a set of magical armor and a flying sword in a basement and grabbed the amulet we were tasked to retrieve. that was literally it.

session 12:

Still in the basement, as we heard voices coming down as the two people saw us- the tiefling of the two asked if we were the delivery people as to which, Miles teleported behind him said "yes" and tried pushing him down the stairs. Their names are Vizorazz- whos the tiefling, and Lana? Who's a drow. Lana fell and prior to this Blooper had iced the bottom step, which made Lana prone basically the entire fight.

Miles and blooper almost died but luckily with a good tempest cleric hit to Vizorazz he was knocked unconscious.

And Lana got away Scott free by turning into a bear.

We looted Vizorazz and found an undercommon letter on him written in thieves cant

Some noise was going on outside the building so we hid as some cloaked figures with no faces came in and inspected the place and did some hand gestures towards one another before leaving.

We turned Vizorazz in jail and got the necklace back to Korg who was more than happy about that and I think we then became official members of the merchants guild.

I also forgot to mention that we ended up doing this instead of entering into a archery competition where Blooper started beef with another archer.

Anyway.

We packed in for the night and Orion slept on the roof of the inn and during the night saw some of those robed figures many houses away talking amongst themselves.

Anyway,

At the festival there were a ton of different merchants and the gang all got some stuff.

Orion chatted with an old woman who was selling her sons adventuring gear as he’d passed away, and Orion gave her a flower and the amulet he’d gotten from Samantha as he felt bad and didn’t want to take anything- but she was kind enough to let him have the magic quill that would never run out of ink and could change color.

Very cool.

Blooper got this powder that would make someone unable to breathe upon blowing it in their face.

And Miles- got. A lot of arrows.

More specifically he was tasked to take down this one merchants rivaling seller for arrows

Because Miles is a broke bitch.

Anyway, we talked to the rival seller for a while and he was just a really nice elf guy who wanted to spread peace and was really wanting us to buy these non lethal punching arrows.

We didn’t.

We kinda made fun of him actually.

Anyways after stalking him we found where he and his partner were staying and snuck into their room, stole all their arrows except the non lethal ones and then orion snuck in and threw flowers everywhere.

We left and that merchant had to leave town because of that, which the guy who set Miles up to the task was ecstatic about that and gave Miles three whistle arrows which- upon shooting them would scare any and all creatures/enemies within the area away. (Unless they made the wisdom save of 13)

Very cool.

For the third and final day, not much happened other than that and the great feast and speech at the end of the festival by the mayor.

But since there was an election currently happening- both of the candidates decided to speak.

We ate some food but the weather started picking up and as the two candidates were about to do their speech- conditions got much.

Much. Worse as a snowstorm started picking up and it looked like a tornado was in its way to hit the city.

Everyone panicked and rushed to shelter- we made it to the merchants guild for shelter as Korg was ushering people in.

But.

As we all made it in- we heard a massive roar outside, which. Actually was something (or someone) yelling in draconic “Syle, where have you taken my boy?!” And looking out the window to see a silver dragon being the cause of the storm.

Miles- the only one that can speak and understand draconic with a charisma score of 10. Went out and decided to talk him down.

And with good enough wording and no dice rolls (except for one insight roll the dragon made on miles) all was fine and Miles promised to help this dragon find his son Syle.

The other goobers came out and we all flew to the dragons lair.

What Miles had essentially said to this dragon was “I understand your pain, but you can’t be destroying this town in the process.” As. The dragon looked at Miles and said “I sense great loss within you” (insight check) which is true.

We leveled up after that! Miles got his horizon Walker subclass and that was the session.

Session 13? I don’t know anymore it’s probably been much more than that to be honest:

Cleric (blooper) was busy with college so it was a session with Miles and Orion.

We did a murder mystery as this session timeline wise takes place after the saving Layani session.

We’re on a smugglers ship to get to the ivory kingdom. Blooper was sea sick the entire time and so Orion and Miles bunked up.

Orion made friends with a leonin barbarian who we all nicknamed “grandpa”

Anyway- during one of the nights a cloaked figure came up and stabbed a guy and ran off, which Miles tried to run after the killer- didn’t work he ate shit.

And the commotion woke everyone up- Orion tried to cure this guys wounds but that didn’t work. Bro was dead.

After some perception checks we found some wet footprints leading down to the cargo of the ship- and found a wet cloak and bloodied knife in a barrel of rice.

Dumped the rice, we then found an elf in the lookout who was wet who we initially thought was the killer based off this- but he told us he was a sea elf and he was out for a swim, also he was terrified of Miles and thought Miles was the killer at first as well. Anyway.

the next day Orion and Miles went on their long journey of questioning everyone aboard the ship or- everyone they could within one day.

We talked to a human wizard named Quintillious first who was a prick and we hated and he charmed Miles into telling him his name and after the spell Miles punched this man so hard that this man was left with a broken nose and ended up pissing himself.

(Miles has an 18 strength) Orion cured his wounds and we found that Quintillious was probably innocent. He was up trying to practice dark magic and had a stolen book from his college that he ended up giving to Orion. (Important information for later.) next person we spoke to was a dhampir bard named Aurora. Aurora told us she was practicing her song, which- no one was around to hear that.

Until.

Thought of the sea elf- Feyren.

Miles went and grabbed him, dragging him down as Orion spoke to Aurora which Aurora explained that she saw Miles chase after the killer- that the killer had a void for a face and that she witnessed Miles absolutely eat shit before she misty stepped outta there.

Feyren and Aurora spoke and Feyren said he did infact hear her singing and that it was a lovely song, but.

Seemed like those two had an alibi of their cases checking out.

Next we spoke to Drake- a dragonborn who was one of the crew hands. He was very short with his answers and not very compliant.

We basically annoyed him enough till he spilled his answers.

He told us he was drinking with Skrill (the guy who died) and that Skrill was in some debts with other people and whatnot- and that Skrill actually owed Drake.

Anyway, after that.

We met Lloyd- (not Samantha’s husband who’s actually named Luke) Lloyd was another human crewmember who apologized for Drake’s rudeness and told us he was just asleep during the murder and offered to give us some info on the case.

Our last questioning of the day led to the leonin barbarian and his roomate Kadoris.

The leonins name is Draz and him and Miles talked as the hair we found on the hair that was in the rice earlier on the murder clothes was an exact match to his.

Orion talked to Kadoris and mainly it was Orion asking about Draz.

The conversation didn’t really confirm anything but Draz did say he met another shadar Kai before and Kadoris said that there was one time where Draz fell off a chair but caught himself and was very nimble and agile about it while he thought he was gonna fall.

That was basically it.

We went to bed and while in the night someone tried to break into Orion and Miles’ room. We tried to see who it was but the cloaked figure teleported away before we could get them because Orion failed a stealth check.

Miles used detect portal and found one deep below within the sea.

We grabbed Feyren who was frantic and telling us that he saw the person teleport away.

Which we know, which Miles asked if Feyren could check out what’s below us- he swam down and saw a bunch of shark people, and maybe? They saw him? But he swam up as soon as he thought that. Anyway. Next day rolls around as we were unsuccessful at finding the killer, we talked to Rumtum who’s another crewhand who we were sure didn’t do it as he was with Miles at the time of the event and was basically our main man on the ship for information.

We told him about the portal and that the guy tried breaking into our room and also told him a little bit about why we thought this was happening (miles thought it had something to do with his bounty) and he told us about the shark people as well and that they raid ships at night and whatnot.

Not great.

We then went to talk to Kadoris and get his alibi- which we asked him a series of very strange questions to which he admitted to killing someone who was harassing his sister Rebecca. Which.

Was not what we were asking about at all. But alright man.

As to which Miles vaguely admitted to his own crime to Kadoris and then Kadoris threw up as he got sea sick and tried to cast prestigitation but it didn’t fully work. And that was our first murder mystery session and we didn’t come back to this background session for like a month- but we did finish it.

second part of murder mystery

We sat down for dinner with Aurora and Kadoris- Aurora wanted to know if we had any new info- which we shut her down and very quickly asked her to misty step as a demonstration to prove her innocence. she kinda had an "oh shit did I just criminalize myself" moment. we thenasked Kadoris if he wanted to sleep in our room because we suspected Draz due to his hair being on the murder clothes. Lloyd bumped into us and whispered to meet him after dinner as he said he might have info to give us.

We stayed and watched everyone on their behavior after dinner- Drake and Quintillious gave us the worst vibes. After that we made our way back to our room to find Kadoris who told us that Draz was okay with it, we completely forgot that we had to talk to Lloyd- so we made our way to his room.

We opened the room to a bloody nightmare- Lloyd was dead, his wounds looked to be from necrotic damage and he had bloody knuckles- so he did put up a fight.

We grabbed a key off of him to open a chest in his room, which we found a journal, a letter a few coins and a small toy.

His journal seemed to be average at first but quickly turned to the murder case- seeing that Lloyd was doing some investigating of his own. saying who had motives, etc, having checks, lines and x's over each person. the letter he had written was one to his elven wife and his half elf child saying things along the lines of "this will be good for us," and talking about how they could have a new life in farport as a fresh start- and the toy was from his son. People started coming back to the room and we had to leave. Orion turned into a cat and Miles teleported out.

Miles was covered in blood because he had to loot Lloyd's body for the key and whatnot. So, he cleaned himself off by thornwhipping to the side of the boat and just let the waves wash over him, after he got out he's drenched in water, bro is soaked. Rumtum found him and was very confused as to why Miles was soaking asking him what happened. and his responses were just "ocean." and pointed at it, Rumtum asked him if he was thrown overboard and if he was okay Miles just shook his head and said "it was an active choice." And- Miles, proving a strange enough person as is. that was enough to not be questioned further- Rumtum took a double take. Anyway, we met back up and Orion un-wildshaped (also Yes this story takes place prior to the campaign but we didn't un-level-up because our dm didn't wanna put up with that. so we're level 3/4? but in the past. we were told to see this kinda like a dream) and Miles showed up as well, we were both pretty quiet until Orion started tearing up and Kadoris had cast prestitigtation but only got Miles' skin and not his clothes. We showed Kadoris the book and then were about to sleep before Rumtum called everyone out on deck as he didn't want to lose anyone else and was now going to search everyone here, since "the killer was looking for something" being the journal, letter and toy we took. but, Kadoris still had the book- and Kadoris based on what Rumtum said- was about to rat us out until Orion cast charm person on him to make him shut up basically. Anyway, we played into helping Rumtum and swapped the book for a waterskin and then Miles went to actually search a few people- searching Quintillious he found a very nice dagger on him and Quintillious was frantic to explain that he only got it out to defend himself because of the murder.

He seemed more like a scared boy rather than an actual killer though, moving on searching Drake and couldn't find anything on him as Orion was too scared to search him- Miles just, couldn't find anything. (we both rolled badly) Anyway, after not finding the book Rumtum was frustrated and told us that everyone was to stay in their rooms until the rest of the trip, except for Orion and Miles who were going to be sleeping in the crew's room and swapping with Feyren and Drake. as we all went back- Orion dispelled the charm and explained within 15 seconds (that's how much time he gave us) that he started crying because his parents got ripped apart as a kid etc. that seemed to make him believe us- Miles gave him a dagger to defend himself but Kadoris didn't hide it. at all. so we grabbed him and were gonna put it in his boot but. already found one in there which we figured was strange. so we took Miles' dagger back and wished him luck. During the night- since Miles only needs 4 hours sleep, he went out and returned the journal and such before going around the ship to hear in on peoples conversations. he tried listening to Feyren and Drake, didn't hear anything (I rolled a 4), and then went to Kadoris and Draz's room and heard talking and knew exactly who it was. It was Kadoris on a sending stone talking about how no on has a clue it's him, he's got them all fooled and that everyone here is dumb, etc. and a few things clicked and lined up to him being the killer: The hair on the clothes, because Draz was shedding, not being able to cast prestitation fully as he could do it on skin but not clothes, and when Lloyd bumped into us- Kadoris was right. there. Our dm felt bad because we hadn't come back to this session in ages.

Anyway, upon this- Miles ran into the crew room and yelled to wake them up, quickly explained the situation and we started making a plan. Basically- Orion was gonna turn into a crocodile and start a riot on the ship to get Kadoris out of his room. Which, we did- but during this Rumtum opened their door and was unable to successfully play it off (lying) and Kadoris immediately could tell what was up as he reached into seemingly no where before grabbing out a weapon- We were able to get Draz out within our surprise round but Kadoris went first and fuckin killed Rumtum within one round. as Rumtum's last words were "they're gonna kill you" Orion attacked as a crocodile and the crew joined in to all attack him, during the fight Kadoris threw down some smoke bombs to blind us- Orion succeeded the save but Miles and most of the crew didn't. luckily however- Miles based off sound and guessing was able to tell where Kadoris was. Things weren't lookin good so Kadoris decided to jump into the ocean, which Miles teleported to him and Orion turned back into himself before casting speak with animals and jumping in the water to yell at any fish in the water like "hey this guy is a murderer" and there was a shark within the water who started swimming towards him. Kadoris and Miles kinda had a stare off while in the water because. yeah. Kadoris was kinda fucked now as, he couldn't go back to the ship- everyone wants to kill him, couldnt reallt go up as Miles was there and couldn't go down- there's a shark. He dropped his weapon and tried to surrender, as him and Miles had a conversation while Orion and the shark circled the two. Basically it ended with Kadoris giving up and them just going to take him to prison. We tied him up and for the next few days publicly shamed him.

Orion got ahold of Kadoris's weapon and asked him to unatune to it as Orion atuned to it and turned it into a sickle and got kadoris's necrotic damage oil thing. Kadoris explained that he was getting into the black cloak assassins league and this was his like, test and way in- that he has an in to the assasins league as he had a childhood friend in it. and he was in it for the money, etc. basically anyone who had beef with this league would soon end up dead etc. anyway kadoris also had his reward money behind a tavern in farport. and those were the murder mystery sessions.

That’s all I’ll leave you guys with for this post (just so I don’t bombard y’all all at once even though I could)

Next part:

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #d&d #tripe threat #dnd triple threat #dnd campaign #campaign updates

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mistleaneous-chaos · 2 years

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Beat Elden Ring for 3rd time and I have some thoughts on the FF Ending, so

Elden Ring Spoilers!

Man the Frenzied Flame Ending is one that is just, interesting to me in so many ways and it really just has got a lot of things that make me like it so I’m just gonna list them off

the fact that throughout the game the idea of “Madness” being more than a status is teased, such as how in the description of the first spell you get, you see it clear as day say “Three Fingers”. But it’s so early in the Weeping Peninsula that you might just gloss over it, thinking “Oh, just another Name I should remember, cool” and disregard it, not knowing what it means

The foreshadowing of Kale’s words having a deeper meaning is there because of the way he talks and it’s really cool, because when he says the line about his people being unforgiving you just think “Oh, well I guess I shouldn’t attack them so I don’t lose a shop”, when it also comes from the fact that they literally cursed the Lands Between with Frenzy

Shabriri as a whole is really fucking interesting to me. And not just because he was the World’s Biggest Troll. But because of the idea that he became so synonymous with the Frenzied Flame that he ascended to a form that was less of a Deific one and more of just, Higher Being-esque similar to Bloodborne beings. And his physical introduction was literally horrifying to me, like I saw Yura fucking DIE, and I literally FORGOT. So when I saw him on the Mountain, my initial reaction was “Oh hey it’s Yura!” And then he starts to talk in a weird way and I immediately remember, “Oh, oh fuck Yura’s dead, who the fuck are YOU?” And the idea of this guy who was potentially also responsible for the Burying of the Nomads, becoming a higher being and stealing the bodies of those is fucking Horrifying to me and I think it’s because now in future DLC I’m worried they may do it with other characters, like imagine if Millicent showed up and it’s some other, weird Outer God person

Vyke is such an interesting parallel to Us. Because when you learn more and more about him, it becomes apparent what his story is. Because out of all the Tarnished in the Intro and even in general, Vyke HAD IT. He had the blessing of a Dragon, he had the Faith to back it up, and he made it all the fucking way to the Forge, but then he just. Stopped. Turned back around, and descended into the sewers and became a contender for the Lord of Frenzied Flame. So what I think is that Shabriri got to him too. Maybe he was separated from his Maiden at some point and Shabriri, in whatever form he took, told him the deal of what the purpose of Finger Maidens are: Guiding their Tarnished and Burning. And Vyke couldn’t handle it so he followed Shabriri’s instructions without question. But then he probably killed his Maiden by accident in his madness, which is why he trapped himself in a snow-covered Evergaol. And it’s interesting because like, it’s very similar to the process most players will go through if they do this ending. They’ll hear Shabriri and they won’t want to lose Melina, the one constant source of kinship in our journey. So they’ll go back to Leyndell, get burnt, and “save” Melina.

The way they portray the flame as a whole is one of the most unique ways I’ve seen in the series, but also reminiscent of Souls. Like Flame has always been Red or Orange or whatever, even in the games early Pyromancy Incantations. But the Frenzied Flame has Yellow as its primary color rather than Red, which really helps to reinforce how different it is to the other flames, yet also give a similarity to the Bright Yellow Erdtree, maybe foreshadowing the Outer God that the Elden Ring is the Vassal for. But at the same time, the way that it is portrayed Animation-wise is so similar to the First Flame. Like when you take control of the Flame in the forge, it is so similar to DS1’s Link The Flame Ending in the way you just let the flame consume you and lose all control is just so similar

In the Ending it literally looks like we are reveling in our success. Like the Tarnished never speaks, they always emote in body language, and even then that’s sparse. But the Tarnished literally seems like they are having the time of their life in that moment. Because in that one moment, they Win. As Lord of Frenzied Flame, they want everything to become One, and they are doing it. There is no other goal. There is no other motivation anymore. What was once a desire for Lordship from Grace has now become the Desire to turn everything back into One. And in that moment, what moment can one feel but Joy when everything that they desire is achieved. It’s strange because the Tarnished has essentially achieved, in a weird fucked up way, enlightenment as they have no more desires. I’m not saying that what they do is good, but the fact is that they get to Revel, with nobody to stop them

As a fan of the Omen Twins, the Forsaken Chapel has one of my absolute favorite examples of subtle storytelling in the whole game. When you get there, you find a boss named “Mohg, the Omen”. And if you played an average playthrough you may not have ever heard of this man and thought “Oh wow, a bigger Omen, kinda has similar timing to Margit but wow does he have a lot of spells”. And you beat him, get his incantation, get the +1 favor and sit down at Grace and think “Man, all that for a +1 talisman, huh.” And then? You hit behind the chest, and you see a physical contraption open a secret door, and you’re interested and go down to see “Sealed by Morgott the Grace-given”. And I love that detail. Because that means that both Mohg and Morgott found the Fingers and the Nomads and came to the conclusion of, “Ok. We may not agree on the matter of our blood, but this is something that should not be released into the world.” So they made 3 roadblocks: A Projection of Mohg to wave off random intruders, a contraption to prevent people from seeing the entrance, and a Magic Seal to prevent anyone from entering while Morgott lives. And it just goes to show how dangerous it is, because if even these 2 can agree it should be sealed then that should say something of the importance of the seal and the Moral implications of what’s down there

Ok. Onto the Nomads themselves. In the past, I’ve seen Hollows in all of the Souls Games, and I just think “Oh, just kill em and move on.” So when I first got here I didn’t think much of there being Hollows here. But then I realized that these things weren’t Hollows when I saw one playing an instrument. And then I read the merchants armor description. And I realized that there were entire generations of people born down there, suffering from dehydration, starvation, sickness, and were still alive. So these people eventually became so fucked up that they naturally looked like Hollows which is insane to me. And it really just shows how fucked up the Golden Order is.(Also I think Shabriri did it because he was arrested for the crime of Slander)

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makeste · 3 years

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BnHA Chapter 310: A Tale of Two Kacchans

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Deku was all, “hey, you know what sounds like a good decision? Abandoning my studies at the safest place in the country so that the bad guy who wants to find me and kill me has literally nothing standing in his way of doing that.” All Might was all, “I fucking knew you were going to say some bullshit like that so whatever, but I’M COMING WITH YOU and I’m also going to invite the Hawksquad to come with us, mostly so that I can steal Jeanist’s car.” Jeanist was all, “okay fine you can borrow my car, All Might, but only if you wear jeans.” All Might was all, “okay sure” and he wore jeans and also sunglasses and a leather jacket and it was pretty rad. Anyway so now they’re out there fighting crime and hunting down the LoV and stuff, and absolutely none of it is going to end well, I’m just letting you know now. But I guess we’ll let them enjoy it while it lasts.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “happy belated Kacchan’s Birthday makeste, here’s the flashback you really wanted at long last,” and proceeds to pull the old vestige flashback out of the kitchen drawer and upend its contents all over my Friday afternoon without the slightest bit of warning. OFA III is all “WHAT’S UP I’M JUST SOME GUY, HELLO,” and okay?? Hello yourself. OFA II, on the other hand, is all, “okay yeah I have different hair and stuff, but I’m like 98% sure I’m either Bakugou or his goddamn twin, I mean look at me.” Which, yeah. I looked, and he really is though you guys. Anyway though, so he and OFA II basically just showed up in the First (who goes by Yoichi now)’s prison cell one day all “HEY THERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, APPARENTLY, ALTHOUGH WE SEEM REAL CONFUSED ABOUT IT TBH BUT HEY.” And so they saved him, and Yoichi was all “hey nice to meet you do you want to join my super-exclusive Saving The World Club”, and so they did, and then the chapter ended lol. I would have said yes too.

oh my sweet lord?? I didn’t realize we were getting a color page this week, but LOOK AT THIS

this could have been a fucking volume cover. I’m almost mad that it wasn’t, lol but I mean fkldjslklk just look at it??! Horikoshi out here spoiling us and making sure we’re well fed since next week the manga is on break for Golden Week. well this will certainly help to tide me over. hot damn look at those colors

so now it’s raining on some dumb building in the middle of somewhere

is this where the Hawksquad has set up camp for the night? or are we actually cutting back to the League? that’d be unexpected (but not unwelcome)

ffff nevermind dammit it’s just more random citizens under attack

feels like this is the third or fourth scene we’ve had of civilians being Under Attack since this arc started. I mean no offense, but I think we get it by this point. it’s the end times, etc. etc. we’re well aware that things have gone to shit

so apparently these two guys are facing off against a girl with a mutant quirk. and she’s telling them that she’s not a monster and she was just scared, oh shit. I believe her btw, you can see it in her face

but these assholes don’t believe her at all and they’re pointing what looks to be some type of support item gun at her

you know what’s interesting, is that this kind of random quirk discrimination is the exact kind of thing PLF and the like were swearing up and down they’d put a stop to with their glorious revolution. it’s almost like those guys were completely full of shit. huh

so yeah, fortunately for this woman someone is stepping in and intervening before she can be blasted to bits by this trigger-happy asshole for absolutely no fucking reason

looks like a hero actually stepped in and saved her?? but no that can’t be, heroes are the ones that ruin everything and make everything worse, or so I understand. lol where did all of this sarcasm come from out of nowhere dlkdsjlk I’m sorry guys I just suddenly got swept up in the hypocrisy of certain people’s philosophies out of the blue idek

anyway so it is of course Deku saving her, and now he’s trying to talk thess jerks down all diplomatically instead of just kicking their asses, which is certainly a choice

MOTHERFUCKER I’M

fucking impossible to miss the real world parallels here. shit. this woman nearly died for her crime of Walking While Having A Mutant Quirk huh. and meanwhile Deku is just letting this guy scurry away and even letting him keep that fucking bazooka of his, like, ????

fucking hell she’s crying!!

lmao this chapter is actively trying to make me mad now huh. that’s some genuine righteous anger I’m feeling on behalf of this fictional ferret lady whom I only met two minutes ago. girl you are not the one who needs to explain herself here!! you didn’t do anything wrong holy fuck. everything about this situation sucks so much

fkKJKLMMMHFGH

“I’m sorry I made you upset, please enjoy this panel of tiny!floating!Deku hefting this lady’s massive beach umbrella up for her like the fucking gentleman he is” well okay then thank you sir

and JUST LIKE THAT the tension is broken and I’m entirely incapable of taking the rest of this conversation seriously because Deku’s trying to be all calming and authoritative, but now the illusion has been broken because I know he only comes up to like her knees

“well thanks again for saving me young man. I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do like protecting your Lucky Charms cereal from all those greedy children”

oh hey All Might

you wouldn’t have just let that guy with the bazooka just walk away to commit more attempted murders would you?? man

OH MY GOD DEKU IS IMMEDIATELY DITCHING HIM AGAIN

I ~CANNOT STAY HERE~ oh, well, sorry to keep you detained I know you’re busy

dfslkjlk oh my god

fucking told you Deku didn’t pack any food lol. it’s literally all notebooks in that bag you guys. he couldn’t just leave them all in his dorm room when he left, because what if someone tried to read them and came across one of the pages where he absentmindedly doodled Kacchan’s name surrounded by little tiny hearts oh gosh

AWWWWW

I needed this Horikoshi. thank you for this wholesome soul-cleansing interaction after all of that bullshit earlier

so now Deku’s climbing up this tall building to eat his lunchbox more dramatically. Tokoyami would be proud

and Banjou is saying that society right now is just like in The Good Old Days (read: bad old days) when quirk society was even more of a mess than it is now

which is exactly how AFO likes it, no doubt

so now Deku’s having a whole conversation with Banjou seemingly out loud lol, weird. and he’s basically saying that they don’t have any clues as to where TomurAFO and the League are hiding right now, and none of the Tartarus escapees they’ve found knew anything either

mmmmmfmhm, marge simpson noises

but you think you can?? you, alone, by yourself?? you think you stand a chance?? I just need you to think this all through a bit more kid

Deku it is NOT JUST YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ALONE, PLEASE REALIZE THIS ALREADY. YOU MAY BE THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT EVEN THE CHOSEN ONE NEEDS HIS FRIENDS BY HIS SIDE GODDAMMIT

and of course my pleading is all in vain, because he’s a fictional character who can’t fucking hear me, and also because I’m pretty sure there’s only one character who is going to actually be able to get him to hear reason here. I’ve been saying it, and I’ll keep saying it lol. so until then I guess I’ll just have to be patient

anyway so it appears we’re segueing into another flashback??? HORIKOSHI PLEASE GIVE ME SOME BAKUCRUMBS BEFORE THE TWO WEEK BREAK, I BEG YOU

dlKSDJLFKWJELKGHSLGKLEKJLFKHLGK

YES, THANK YOU, I KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING IS LOL, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THIS SCENE OR ANYTHING LMAO. BUT ANYWAYS DON’T MIND ME, YOU WERE SAYING??

oh my god oh my god I’m not readyyyyy, but also FUCK YEAH I AM SO FUCKING READY LOL LET’S DO THIS

YOU GUYS

I’M ABOUT TO STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YEET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS AT YOU ALL

NOOOOO

I’M ABOUT TO GRAB BANJOU’S GOGGLES AND STRETCH THEM OUT AND SNAP THEM BACK SO THEY SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD!!! IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES!!! I’M ABOUT TO MOVE TO JAPAN AND GET A JOB WITH DOORDASH AND FIND OUT WHAT HORIKOSHI LIKES TO ORDER FOR LUNCH SO I CAN BE THE ONE TO DELIVER IT SO THAT WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR I CAN FINALLY ASK HIM “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” IN PERSON

AHHH NO EVERYBODY SHHHHH STOP TALKING!!!!

SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT PERSON SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN THE BACKGROUND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, OH WAIT, THAT’S ME

(」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ)

LOL THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! YOU’RE NOT KIRISHIMA OR SHINSOU OR IIDA IN A WIG OR ANYBODY LOL. YOU’RE JUST A DUDE. BROOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WHAT’S GOOD

I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN AHHHH BUT I HAVE TO BUT IT’S TOO INTENSE AHHHHHHH

I CAN SEE THE TOP OF HIS SPIKY HEAD, IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME AHHHHHHHH OKAY I’M GONNA DO IT HERE GOES

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S HIM. IT FUCKING REALLY FUCKIGN IS HIM OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY AM I SO SHOCKED LMAO I’M THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE DAMN TIME LMAO. OH GOD. O H MY FUCKING GOD

well okay then sir. so are you an ~ancestor~ or a Kacchan from another timeline or so what’s your deal then

YOICHI WHO IS YOICHI

YOICHI ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S UP. LMAO WHO IS YOICHI

(ETA: I’m going to punch myself in the face lmao. he’s Yoichi. he, the First. that’s his name. name reveal at long last what what!!)

MORE IMPORTANTLY SHOULD I BE IMAGINING NOBU’S VOICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE LMAO I AM ANYWAY BUT YEAH

(ETA: I actually think he’s going to end up being voiced by Nobuhiko whether he ends up being Kacchan or not, just because it fits right in with the general “identical in almost every way” aesthetic he’s got going on.)

TUMBLR HOW WE LIKING OUR ANGSTY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN?? EVERYONE HATED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE THEY EVEN MET YOU, BUT THEY FORGOT TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOT LMAO WHAT A TWIST

“some bright-eyed brat” oh come on. IT’S GOTTA BE HIM LOL

oh my god you all are probably TIRED AS FUCK of all my screaming but I’M SORRY IMMA HAVE TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that face. that expression!! THE FACT THAT HE’S OUT HERE OPENING DOORS WITH HIS FEET, LIKE HOLY SHIT!! JUST ADMIT THE JIG IS UP ALREADY

and so they really are the ones who busted First out of his jail cell huh

so how did they know you were in the room?? why did they come and break you out?? and how, pray tell, did they know to get you to transfer OFA to them?? hmmmMMMMMMMM

oh MY GOD

you guys. oh my god. it’s too much. every last bit of it lines up exactly with the Bakuverse theory sdkjfj I’m short-circuiting. it’s really fucking happening oh my lord

HELLO SEXY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN WITH HIS SEXY FUCKING SCAR, FUCK YEAH WE REALLY ARE EATING GOOD THIS CHAPTER

HELL YEAH WE’RE GOING. WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED YOU GUYS. LMAO I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WEFKJLDKFFFF

SO, EVERYONE, LET’S RECAP. -- ACTUALLY NO, I STARTED TO WRITE UP A LIST, BUT I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED IT REALLY JUST NEEDS TO GO IN ITS OWN THREAD. SO I MADE IT AND POSTED IT, AND NOW I’M FINISHING UP THIS HOT MESS OF A RECAP POST. SO NOW WE’RE BACK TO THIS ONE FINAL PANEL OF DEKU EATING HIS KATSU ALL SERIOUS

YES SIR. YES SIR, WE GOING, FULL SPEED AHEAD, WHATEVER, IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT YES!!

lol, anyways so as I said in my other post, mysterious sexy guys with tragic pasts are what bring us together as a fandom, so whatever your thoughts are on the rest of it, let’s just rejoice in that. it’s what we deserve

#bnha 310 #midoriya izuku #ofa prime #ofa ii #bakugou katsuki #MAYBE???#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

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yanderecrazysie · 3 years

Note

Hii Bestie !!

I wondering if I could request the Yandere Alphabet for Bokuto if you haven’t done that already.

💜

HEY BESTIE! I'd love to! Bokuto reminds me so much of an overeager puppy- it's precious-

Bokuto Koutarou (Haikyuu) -The Yandere Alphabet

🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉🦉

Warnings: yandere themes, slight mentions of marking and spanking

A is for Affection: How do they show their affection for their darling? How often do they show it? 💖 Bokuto is the epitome of affectionate. This boy wants to cuddle, kiss, hold hands, WHATEVER he can do 24/7. 💖 Although he'll want to cuddle against you and hold you bone-crushingly close, this boy can also get a little rough. His kisses can be kind of bruising and he'll want to mark up your neck a lot. B is for Blood: How messy are they willing to get for their darling? Why? 🔪 Although I can picture Bokuto being willing to fight anyone who wants to hurt you or take you away, I actually can't see him trying to kill anyone. He's pretty sure he's the best of the best, so it's not like any of those other guys can steal you away from HIM! C is for Care or Cruelty: How would they treat their darling when they kidnap them? Would they mock them? 💔 Bokuto wouldn't mock you. In fact, he'd just be over the MOON about having you with him. You'd be smothered in kisses and crushed in his hugs. He's not going to want to make you feel bad! 💔 Bokuto is the BEST at taking care of you! He knows everything you love and he's willing to get/do ANYTHING just for you! D is for Delusion: How delusional are they when it comes to their darling? Do they believe their darling loves them? 💭 Bokuto is very, very delusional. Like, this boy sees a perfect future with you and he has no doubts that you're both going to get there soon. 💭 He's like the greatest??? You couldn't turn HIM down! He's the amazing ace- Akaashi thinks he's great so you do too! Right? Of course! E is for Expose: How much of their heart do they bear to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling? How much time will it take to trust them? 💧 Bokuto doesn't shut up about his feelings. Going into emo mode? Check. Whining about how much he needs your attention? Check. Letting you know just how much he adores you? Check. 💧 They talk about being an open book but Bokuto is a book you'd want to CLOSE after a while. Like seriously- he. Won't. Shut. Up. F is for Fight: How would they react if their darling fought back? 👊 Cue "kicked-puppy" noise. He's going to stare up at you with wide, watering eyes. You've gotta be completely heartless if you don't feel the TINIEST bit of guilt when you see his heartbroken expression. 👊 "I-it's okay (Y/n), I forgive you, I love you, please don't fight me, please..." he's all but begging you, even after you stop fighting. He's clinging to you and sobbing into your shirt. 👊 Your flailing fists and feet aren't actually going to do any damage to that buff man but just the idea of fighting against him leaves tons of emotional scars in your wake. G is for Guilt: What would it take for them to feel guilty about their actions? Or do they feel guilty from the start? 😔 Bokuto feels bad that he went to the extremes. He KNOWS it's so so so wrong... but it feels so so so right. He LOVES you and that's the best thing, right? That makes up for everything, right? 😔 He won't ever regret his love for you though. If he has you in the end it'll be worth everything and more! No regrets, WOOO! H is for Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? 🔥 Bokuto can be a little... well... his emotions are extreme and can flip quickly. So if he's angry enough, you could get hurt. Like, he's not going to seriously injure you, but he'll be rough. You'll be shaking in your shoes for sure. I is for Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling? 👩‍❤️‍👨 If Bokuto has his way, you'll be his pretty little wife and mother of a bunch of his runts. This boy will want at LEAST 3 kids. Like I picture him being that "cool dad" that roughhouses with his little boys and carries them on his back and just jokes around with them. He's practically a giant kid himself sometimes. J is for Jealousy: How easily do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope? 💢 Bokuto gets jealous if your attention is taken away from him. Platonically, romantically, whatever. If someone's

taking your attention and it's not him, he's gonna be PISSED. 💢 Suddenly, Bokuto is 10x needier than he's ever been. He's trying to catch your gaze, interrupting your conversation, clinging to you, etc. 💢 I mean, this boy will get jealous of a video game or TV show or book you're invested in. Not just humans. Animals too... Your attention should be solely on him, ya know! K is for Kidnap: How would they go about kidnapping their darling? How much do they plan it out? 🔒 Bokuto doesn't plan- it just kind of happens. He knew he wanted to take you away from all those attention hogs (ironic) and keep you with him and him only, but he didn't really THINK about it. It just kinda happened. 🔒 Okay, but seriously, I think he might even be more surprised than you when he kidnaps you. Like this guy's just kinda like "WOAHHH This isn't a dream? I actually did this? HEY HEY HEY" L is for Love Letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling? 💌 One moment you're living your normal life, the next moment there's Fukurodani's ace cooing at you and you forgot to say your last goodbyes to that normal life you'll never see again. 💌 I don't think Bokuto knows how to court, to be blunt about it. Like, Akaashi might try to give him some pointers ("You're overwhelming her." "Give her room to breathe." "Try never saying that again. Ever." "Stop, you're crushing her.") but Bokuto's pretty sure he's got this in the bag. M is for Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they acted before? 🎭 Bokuto's emotions are so over the map that no one's going to really tell that he's kind of losing it. Akaashi might be able to tell, but no one else will notice a difference. 🎭 Other than his overwhelming happiness and affection for you. I mean, you'd have to be blind and deaf to not realize Bokuto has a huge crush on you. He's not even remotely subtle. N is for Naughty: How would they punish their darling? 🚓 Bokuto might try to isolate you a bit but if you make him angry- like really piss him off- I think he'd literally just bend you over his lap and spank you. Like, maybe that's weird, but I can really picture him trying to brat-tame you a bit. O is for Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling? What rights can be earned with time and trust? 📜 Although Bokuto's kind of overbearing and suffocating, as long as you're in his line of sight and, preferably, being touched by him, you can do whatever you want. Which... isn't a lot when he's hanging on you 24/7. P is for Patience: How patient are they with their darling? 🕊️ Patience is not one of Bokuto's virtues, unfortunately. If you take too long in the bathroom, he'll come bursting through the door. Like, this boy can't stand a full 5 minutes away from you. Having privacy is not realistic, so don't get your hopes up. Q is for Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on? 🏃‍♀️ If you die Bokuto will go into emo mode for the rest of his life. He will be completely broken without you. He's so lost without you. You know that story where the dog waited by his owner's grave for the rest of his life? That's Bokuto. 🏃‍♀️ "Escape"? Yeah, no. Bokuto gets it, you wanted a little freedom, but it's time to come home, okay? You've already had more than enough time to yourself, so he'll come find you. And once he does, you're sure as hell never leaving again. R is for Rage: How do they act when angry? How do they calm down? 👿 "Explosive rage" is the best way to describe Bokuto's anger. You CANNOT calm him down, so it's best to book it and barricade yourself in a room until he cools down. 👿 If he's mad enough, he could hurt you, so stay the fuck away from him. He'll be throwing and breaking things and just generally yelling his head off. Again, barricade yourself in a room, it's honestly your only hope. S is for Soulmate: What made them fall in love with their darling? How did they first meet? When did they realize they loved their darling? 💍 Bokuto truly is a

love-at-first-sight kind of guy, but he fell in love with you even more as he got to know you. You either met at one of his games or in some sort of shared class. I think that you would have stood out to him in a crowd. T is for Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? 😭 Each tear falling down your face is another crack in Bokuto's heart. He really does want you to be happy and he can't understand why you aren't. His solution is to just hold you tight until you calm down, which may not help all that much... U is for Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

👌 Bokuto is already kind of different from the others in the way that he's not afraid to put you in your place and he has plans for the future that don't really require your cooperation. He's not changing his mind, no matter how strong your feelings are one way or the other.

👌 Not to mention, he's SUPER clingy. You can't pry him off of you. There's a strong possibility that you'll end up being very, very miserable with Bokuto. He loves you but he isn't willing to compromise or meet halfway on anything. His love is kind of selfish... more so than the average yandere.

V is for Visit: Would they allow anyone else to visit their darling? Do they trust their darling to talk to their loved ones (in person, on the phone, etc.) or not at all?

🧳 Akaashi will be over often. Like, I'm not even going to pretend like Bokuto will doubt his BFF. I really don't think Akaashi will be there to save you, unfortunately...

🧳 But Akaashi doesn't get to touch you. Sorry. You belong to Bokuto and, any attention you give Akaashi, you better give 10 times that to Bokuto.

W is for Weakness: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

❌ You're lucky enough if you can detangle yourself from Bokuto's grip for more than 5 minutes, but, if you do, you can use very few things against him anyways. He's nothing but determined.

❌ If you're delicate and careful about it, you may be able to take advantage of his emotions. Fake sadness to gain his pity or get him so happy that he'll be less likely to deny your requests.

X is for Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

🛐 He's a bit of a worshipper, but not the classic type. He ADORES you and thinks you're absolutely perfect but... he doesn't exactly put your needs above his own. Like I said, he's a bit selfish.

Y is for Yearning: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap? 😍 It depends on how receptive you are to him. If you're trying to distance yourself from him and keep your freedom (or you just aren't interested in him that way), he's going to snap FAST. You'll find yourself in his house before you can say "HEY HEY HEY". 😍 Otherwise, if you start dating him, it'll depend on if you realize the toxicity of your relationship. If you try to break up with him or loosen his suffocating grip, you're in the same boat as if you denied him in the first place. Z is for Zero Tolerance: What is the thing that always makes them snap? What things will they not allow their darling to do under any circumstances? 0️⃣ Leave him. If you deny his affection and love, he will not be happy at ALL. He wants to wrap you up in his arms and never let go. And he really doesn't care if you don't want that. 🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣🐣 THAT TOOK SO LONG I'M SO SORRY- I feel like I portrayed him to be a little worse than he is- he really does love you!

#yandere #yandere haikyuu #yandere bokuto #yandere alphabet #haikyuu!!#bokuto

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krakenartificer · 3 years

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When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at the questions on the screening form and thought, "If this result comes back positive, then I'm definitely not the only person in my family who has it." Questions like

"Have difficulty finishing one activity before starting another one" and

"I finish others' sentences before they can finish it themselves" and

"have trouble staying on one topic when talking"

...I thought were just weird quirks of my family, but no. When I got my results, I contacted my cousin, and she contacted her sisters and mother, and .. .. yeah. Basically everyone in my dad's side of the family is ADHD.

Now there are some problems with that, obviously, (getting family reunions to stick to a schedule is lol no) but there are some really fantastic perks. For one thing, no one in that family minds if I interrupt them while they're talking ... everyone's happy to keep 3 conversations going at the same time .... and no one minds if you fidget constantly.

But the best perk -- at least that I've found so far -- is that all of our parents have coping mechanisms, and passed them on to us. When I found myself unable to handle tasks with more than one step, my father didn't say "WTF are you talking about? It's easy! Just do the thing! Stop being lazy!" No, he could relate completely, and he sat down and taught me how to handle that.

So today, I'm going to pass on to you the coping mechanism my dad taught me for handling the "cannot put tasks in order / cannot get started / forget what I'm doing" problem. You'll need to adjust it for your own needs and your own struggles, but hopefully it'll be helpful in setting up your own process.

I'm going to walk through it with a big project I'm doing at work, just to have a concrete example. That will make some of the discussion specific to computer programming and technical writing, but I do the same thing for all my projects, so hopefully it'll be generalizable.

So to set the stage:

I was supposed to modify this piece of code -- we'll call it "Rosetta" -- to make it handle call data as well as what it was already doing. I did that.... but we now need the code to be able to handle calls (if that's wanted) but also to be able to handle NOT having calls (if THAT'S wanted).

Which is just .... ugh. So much. SOOOOOOOO much.

So. Break it down.

Step one is to get some recording mechanism - pen and paper, whiteboard, blank computer document, whatever

(Technically, this is a different coping strategy, so we'll just take a quick detour: WRITE THINGS DOWN. Your brain is shit at remembering things, and anyway you've already got limits on your working memory; why would you choose to tie up some of that limited resource in something that could be accomplished with literal stone-age technology? Don't even try to remember things. WRITE THEM DOWN.)

I like sticky notes: they're readily available in all offices, they're pretty cheap, and (most importantly) they can be rearranged if it turns out that I forgot a step or put the steps in the wrong order (which, like, let's be honest, I am definitely going to do). But they kill trees and create unnecessary methane emissions, so I've recently switched over to using virtual sticky notes. That's the format I'm going to use for this example, but you can use anything that meets your purposes.

So, you've got something to write with, you're ready to start.

The first question is: what are you trying to accomplish here? What would "done" look like? What is our goal?

I need to end up with a version of Rosetta that will make the correct results if you don't want calls, and will also make the correct results if you do.

The goal here is that you end up with a statement that you can definitively say (a) Yes this is what I wanted or (b)No this is not right because _______

In this case, in order to do that, I'll need to define "correct results" for both call- and non-call versions. But if I have that nailed down, then this statement meets that criterion: I'll be able to say "Yes, this is what I wanted: see, it makes the correct result for calls, and it makes the correct result for not-calls". Or else I'll be able to say, "No, this is wrong: see, it makes the correct result for calls, but on not-calls it does X and we wanted Y."

I have a clear, definitive standard about what I need to do and whether or not I've done it.

But there was a prerequisite there: I need to define "correct results".

So that goes on a sticky note: Create test that will compare my results to existing call!Rosetta-results and to existing not-call!Rosetta-results.

[ID: Two blue boxes, one on top of the other. The top one says in white text "Create test to compare my results to call!results" The bottom one says "Create test to compare my results to not-call!results"] OK. So now we know what we want. The second question is: what do we need to do in order to get that? Here's where the sticky-note recording system really shines, because you don't have to answer this question sequentially. You just start writing down every single thing that is not the way you want it to end up.

I need it to remove commas in the python script, not the bash script

I need to delete the first part of the get_runs() function, which doesn't do anything

I need to delete the rest of the parameters passed to build_query_script() function, because runs encompasses all the others

while we're on that subject, runs doesn't even need the group_variable, so let's pull that out of the parameter document

we also have a dmf defined, which the bash script demands but doesn't use; let's change that demand

since we're changing the structure of the parameter document, we don't need to pull new metrics for each run, so let's move that outside of the runs() loop and only run once

right now the parameter document is ALMOST but not quite "one row per template". Make it so it's actually one row per template.

among other things, that's going to require making it possible for a template to be followed by nothing at all, since it's the assumption that a template will have a metrics block after it that makes it not quite one row per template. So make it possible to publish a template with a null block

the other thing that's weirdly hard-coded is the definition of what a block looks like. Would it make more sense to separate that out into an input file, like the parameters document? On the one hand, that would make it much more flexible; on the other hand, that's another piece that can break. Don't know. Put a question mark on it.

etc

Here's what it looks like at the end of this step:

[ID: A black and white background showing many boxes in two different shades of blue, all with white text. Some of the boxes are overlapping each other.]

As you can see, at this phase you don't need to worry about any of the following:

ordering the tasks. Just stick 'em right on top of each other for now

how you're going to do any of this. Right now we just need to know what, not how

sticking to only one project. As I was working on this, it occurred to me that this whole process would have been a heck of a lot easier if someone had just made a user manual for this, and since I have to go through all the code line-by-line anyway, I might as well write up the documentation while I'm at it. (To help out future-me, if nothing else.) So I put those tasks on another color of sticky note.

making notes that make any ***ing sense to anyone else. This process is for you, and only you need to understand what you're talking about it. Phrase it in ways that make sense to your brain, and to hell with anyone else.

on that topic, also don't worry about making steps that are "too small" or "too dumb" to write down. This is for you. If "save document" feels like a step to you, then write it down.

You also don't need to get every single step involved in the project right now. Get as many as you can, to be sure, but the process is designed on the assumption that you ARE going to forget important steps, and is designed to handle that.

When you can't think of any more steps, then the third question is: what order does it make sense to do these in? Are there any steps that would be easier if you did another step first? Are there any that literally cannot be done unless another step is complete?

This is also a good place to group steps if they fit together nicely. When I used physical sticky notes, I used two different sizes; digitally I can of course make them whatever size I want.

So I have several documentation steps that (a) do need to be written to make sense to other people and (b) I really need to know what's going on before I can do that. I could write them now, but if I did, I'd just end up re-writing them based on things that change as I'm coding. So we'll move those to the end:

[ID: Three dark blue boxes with white text. They read "Create step-by-step instructions for creating your own metric agg", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a metric", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a query."]

These parts, though -- if I had all the variable structures written down, I could look at them while I'm coding. Then I won't have to keep scrolling back and forth in the code, trying to remember if it's an array or a dictionary while also trying to remember what part of the code I was working on. Brilliant. Move that to the front.

[ID: Seven dark blue boxes with white text, three large, four small. The first one is large and says "Write up explanation of how Rosetta works." The second one is large and says "Document structure of all variables." Attached to that one are four smaller boxes that say "All_blocks", "Runs", "metric", "New_block". The third large one says "Document what qb_parameters.csv contains"]

Also, while I'm at it, I should get the list of variables I need to document -- then I won't have to keep scrolling to find them. Make those sub-steps.

I definitely keep needing to look up what's in the parameters document, so I should write that down, too. For the user manual I also should write down what's in the metric document, but I don't need that for myself, so I can send that to the end.

[ID: The same three dark blue boxes from two screenshots ago (create step-by-step instructions for metric agg, modifying a metric, and modifying a query), now with another dark blue box in front of them with white text that says "Document what granular_metrics.tsv contains."]

These five are all small steps, and are all related in that they don't actually (hopefully) change the functionality of the code; they're just stuff left over from prior versions of this code. So we can lump them all together.

[ID: Five light blue boxes with white text that say "Delete first part of get_runs()", "Have build_query_script only receive the "run" parameter" "Delete dmf" "Move metrics=get_metrics() outside build_all_blocks (all the way up to the top level?" "Delete group_variable from qp_parameters"]

My brain likes this better, so that I can keep track of fewer "main steps", but that's just a peculiarity of me -- you should lump and split however you prefer to make this process easier for you.

[ID: The same five boxes from the prior screenshot, now all made smaller and attached to a larger box that says "Remove Legacy Code"]

Keep going, step by step, sticky by sticky, until you've got them in order. If -- while you're doing this -- you remember another thing you need to do, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile; you don't have to stop what you're doing to deal with it, because it's written down and it's on the pile and it will get processed; you can just keep working on the thing you're on right now.

[ID: All the same boxes from the first screenshot, now in a neat row. Some of the original boxes have been grouped together. The ones that were said to be at the beginning of the process are on the left and the ones that were said to be at the end are on the right.]

Step four: for the love of all that's holy, SAVE THIS LIST.

Write it on your cubicle whiteboard where it won't be erased

write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the office wall

send an email to yourself

take a picture with your phone

I don't care but save it.

When I used physical sticky notes, I kept them all on the hood of my cubicle's shelf. Now, as you can see, I use Powerpoint, which is irritating af but does allow me to keep everything in a single document, which I can write down the path of.

[ID: White text on a black background says "open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Modifications\ and \Documentation.pptx" The next line says "Notes in Rocketbook pg 10-12, 16" The next line says "Turn that into documentation that can be used for making modifications."]

And now (finally) you can answer the question "How would I even get started on that?" You look at the first thing on the list, and you treat it as its own project. You can hyperfocus on this step and completely forget about everything else this project requires, because everything you need to remember for the rest of it is written down.

If, as you're working a step, you think of something else you need to do for the big project, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile. Don't even worry about trying to order it or identify sub-steps; as long as it's not blocking the thing you need to work on right now, you don't have to care. Just stick that bugger anywhere at all on the list, and go back to what you were doing. When you un-hyperfocus and come back to look at your list, there'll be a big sticky note stuck sideways across all the rest of the steps, and you'll remember to file and order it then.

Other benefits of this system

1) The first question really helps with unclear directions from your boss. You can take whatever they told you to do, and translate it into a requirement that is clearly either met or not-met, and then run it back by the boss.

If they say, "No, no, we want ______" then phew! You just saved a huge miscommunication and weeks of wasted work! What a good employee you are! What an excellent team player with strong communication skills!

If they say "Yes, that's what I want," then you know -- for sure -- what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your anxiety is reduced, and your boss thinks you're super-conscientious.

(And if your boss is a jerk who likes to move the goalposts and blame it on their subordinates, then have this conversation over email, so you can show it to their boss or to HR should it become necessary.)

2) Having this project map means that when you spend an hour staring at the requirements and trying to figure out how to get started (which, let's be honest, you were definitely going to do anyway) ... When your boss/coworker comes by and says, "How's it going?" Instead of having to say "I haven't even started 😞" You can say, "Pretty well! I've got all the steps mapped out and am getting ready to start on implementation!" and show them your list, and they think you're very organized and meticulous. 3) Sometimes, especially in corporate jobs, you and your coworkers will run into a problem that's too big for even Neurotypicals to hold all in their heads. At that point, the NTs will be completely lost -- they've never had to develop a way to handle projects they can't just look at and know how to get started. So then you pipe up in the meeting and say, "OK, well, what exactly are we trying to accomplish?" and everybody at the conference table looks at you like you're a goddamned genius and you don't have to tell them that you use this exact same process to remember how to make a sandwich 😅

4) Having this project map makes it so much easier to stop work and then start it up again later, but this post is already really really really long, so I'm going to address that in a separate (really really long) post.

#adhd #adhd life #tips #semi-solicited advice #gpoy #your mileage may vary #long post #very long post #sorry I wish I wrote more concisely too

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