#i literally have like maybe 2 bowls left but i always do 2 bowls so like 1 more hit

[bibleofficial]

so i’ve smoked a hz in a week

[addisonnie]

you, me, & mary-jane

summary: dealer!ellie comes in clutch in more ways than one.

warnings: make-out sesh, cursing, terrible breaking bad references

a/n: surprise! another ellie fic because i refuse to do the schoolwork that i desperately need to finish! wooooooooo dealer ellie is yum. i actually kinda hate this! enjoy! oh god also listen to “meddle about” by chase atlantic while you read if you would like. ellie=chase atlantic okay bye

part 2 —> part 3

There are several things in life that you can live without. Weed is not one of them.

You’re huffing and borderline growling as you dig through various stash locations in your room. Closet, empty. Under the mattress, nothing but crumbs. In every single pants pocket? Zero. Zilch. Not one lush green nug was found.

What could be chalked up to a literal war cry left your lips as you sat on the floor with your head in your hands, “this is it. This is the end.”

Dina’s head poked up from the side of her bed, “what are you whining about down there?”

Leaning your head back onto the wall, you sent Dina a harsh glare, “you and Jesse smoked the last of it! And I’m flat broke, too!”

She sat up fully in her bed, eyes wide and crazy, “bitch! Don’t pin this on us! You said it was fine.”

“That was last night! This is today! Today I just want to smoke my silly little bowl and enjoy my silly little high.” You groan and knock your head against the wall a few times.

Fishing your phone from your back pocket, you open iMessage. Hopefully your plug isn’t busy right now. Last time you bought from him was in the parking lot of his youngest child’s soccer game. Maybe buying from a 40-something father of three isn’t always the best idea—at least he won’t rip you off?

Hey. You busy?

Tom usually responds right away. His clients doubled as his friends (you being his ex-babysitter) and he always loved to provide for them.

Who is this?

Well, that’s strange. Tom definitely has your number saved. And, Tom definitely knows who you are.

Don’t play, Tom. I want to buy!!!!

You watch the text bubbles pop up and disappear in the bottom corner of the screen a few times, showing that he’s typing out a response and deleting it over and over.

This is his wife. Don’t text this number again. He is married. And he does not sell what you want to “buy.”

You could really cry at this moment. Like, honestly and truly sob. A long huff leaves your lips and you knuckle at your eyes aggressively. Fucking bullshit. Tom’s wife was always kind of a bitch, to be fair. But you didn’t think she’d ever pull a Skylar White on you. What does a girl have to do to get some weed around here?

“Do you know any other dealers? I just got told off by Tom’s wife.” Dina laughed from her bed.

“My name is Skylar White, yo. My husband is Walter White, yo.” You couldn’t help but laugh, “that’s exactly what I was thinking!”

She sits up in her bed, hanging her tanned legs off the side, “here. I have mutual friends with this girl, think her name is Ellie? I heard she sells. Good prices too.”

Dina tosses her phone into your lap from where she sits and allows you to send the contact to yourself.

Hey. Is this Ellie?

———

Ellie takes a couple hours before responding.

It depends on who’s asking?

Your professor drones on about some random Shakespeare play and you can’t bring yourself to pay attention while you read over Ellie’s text.

Dina gave me your number, I heard you sell?

Man. I really hope you’re not a cop.

You chuckle at her text.

Not a cop. Twenty year old girl over here. I love One Direction.

That sounds like something an undercover cop would say.

Ellie made a good point. You scroll through your camera roll trying to find a recent selfie before landing on one you took a couple days ago. You’re clearly high in the picture, so maybe Ellie will take the hint.

Here. Proof. Not a cop :)

Pretty.

She sent her address in a separate text and informs you to meet her there around 7pm when she’s done with her night class. Your professor excuses the class and leaves the remainder of students to pack their things. 5pm. Usually you smoke before going to pick up. Clearly, that’s not an option today. What does one do while they wait if they have no weed?

———

Nothing. One does absolutely nothing if they have no weed.

You knock on Ellie’s front door and wait a few beats before stepping back from the doorway. The lock clicks before the dingy wooden door opens inward,

“Hey!”

Oh, damn. She is fine.

Her auburn hair is short and rests about an inch above her shoulders. It’s pulled slightly up into a bun and several short strands curl lightly along the nape of her neck.

“Hey! Ellie, right?”

She smiles, “that’s me.” The door is pulled open wider and she beckons you to come inside. A botanical tattoo swirls along her forearm and you find yourself staring at her awkwardly before you step into the house.

She tugs off her flannel and slings it over the back of a woven couch, leaving her in a fitted white tank top.

You suck in a breath, “how are you?”

How are you? Really? Who says that to a drug dealer?

She chuckles and slouches into the couch, patting the open spot beside her, “pretty good. How about you?”

“Honestly? I’m suffering.”

She laughs fully this time, “that bad, huh? Your dealer die or something?”

“God, I wish. His wife responded to my text and told me to fuck off, basically. That he doesn’t sell what I buy.” Ellie cringes and shakes her head, her lips pressed into a tight frown,

“she Skylar-Whited you? That’s pretty fucking rough.”

“That’s exactly what I said! Call me Jesse Pinkman, I guess.” Ellie shook her head again and leaned forward to grab a small mahogany box.

Her long fingers opened the lid and scrounged through the container before she happily hummed and held up what she was looking for. A joint was pressed between her fingers and she quickly snatched a lighter off the coffee table.

After she placed the box back on the table, she leaned back into the couch and stretched her arm along the back of it, her fingers barely grazing your shoulder. Ellie turned to face you and held the joint to your lips, “open up.”

Your face flushes as you do what she asked—demanded. Her fingers place the joint onto your awaiting lips and she quickly lights the paper, still holding the joint to your mouth.

What is this girl on? You can’t help but feel as if this is strangely intimate. Tom never held a joint to your lips! On second thought, it’s probably good that he didn’t.

You inhale and she pulls the joint to meet her own mouth as she watches you exhale.

“We can smoke this and then I’ll grind up some for you.” She passes you the joint this time.

“Oh—you don’t have to. I can take the nugs. I don’t want to trouble you.” You pass it back.

She smirks, the joint hanging from the side of her mouth, “no trouble at all. Happy to do it.”

“Is that what you tell all of your clients?”

Another smirk, “only the pretty ones.”

The joint is placed back into your fingertips and you are very glad, this way you can explain the extreme blush creeping up onto your cheeks as just you being overly high. Ellie has somehow moved closer to you, her thigh is pressed up against yours and the arm she has outstretched across the back of the couch skims the back of your shoulders. A chill rakes through your body, leaving goosebumps in its wake.

“Here, take it.” The hand she has resting behind your head snatches her discarded flannel and drops it into your lap.

“Oh—thanks.” She hums in response.

———

Ellis is funny as hell. Each sentence that escapes her plump lips makes less sense than the last,

“would you rather be trapped in a locked room with a gorilla, or with…with a shit ton of cockroaches?”

She’s sitting opposite you on the couch, her back leaning against one armrest. One of her legs is bent and squished against the back of the couch, her other is sprawled off the edge of the couch. Bit of a man-spreader, this one. Your back is pressed to the opposite arm rest and your legs are stretched outward, resting softly in her lap.

Again, weirdly intimate.

“Oh. Fuck, probably the roaches? Just step on ‘em. Yanno?”

She gasps and latches onto your sock-clad feet, “sickening! Me and that gorilla are gonna be friends.”

You squint at her, “you gonna sell him some Mary-Jane?”

“Yup,” she pops the ‘p’ and passes you the remainder of the joint. Your fingers skim over hers and she blushes a bit, nudging your finger with hers.

“Hey—so how much do I owe you?” You immediately regret ruining the moment the second the words pass your lips.

“Well, flattery works with me—“ you cut her off, “oh yeah? I would’ve kissed you earlier, had I known that.”

She flushes, “you can—um. You can still kiss me. If you want.”

And, just like that, your eyes turn into hearts and start beating rapidly. You surge forward and press your lips to hers, smiling into the kiss when she flicks the joint out of her fingertips and grabs your cheeks, pulling you closer.

Her mouth melds to yours and immediately has you panting like a bitch in heat. She moves one of her hands to pinch at your hip, grasping and probing at you until you wind up straddling her lap. You press your chest into hers and squeak when you feel her hand push your hip down, effectively grinding you down onto her. A strangled whine leaves your lips as she pulls away and begins kissing down the column of your throat.

Her mouth is wet and firm while she sucks and nips on any naked skin she can find, moaning when she feels your fingers card through her hair. Your hips continually rut into hers and she quickly sets a different pace, gripping your hips and dragging you forward and back on her lap. Ellie moans when you grab her hair and pull. Her face is removed from your neck at the force of your tug and she pants to catch her breath before opening her eyes to meet yours.

“How’s free sound?” She gives you a crooked smirk and presses an open-mouthed kiss to your throat.

“Sounds like I’m ripping you off, Ellie.”

She groans and throws her head back onto the couch, “I love the way you say my name. And it’s not ripping me off, babe.”

And you’re blushing again. Babe. She called you babe.

She continues, “think of it as a little sampler. Free shared joint, some ground up weed, and some Ellie.”

You grab her cheeks and squish them together, “only if you swear this sampler is offered to me only. Can’t have anyone stealing my deals.”

She brushes your hands off and smirks again, “like I said earlier, pretty girls only.”

“You said ‘girls’ plural.” She laughs.

“I’ve got three clients. A grown man named Joel, one of the sociology professors—don’t tell anyone I said that. Then you. And I’m a lesbian, so…” She trails off at the end of her sentence and looks down at your lips again, hands splayed across your thighs.

You kiss her again. It’s short and chaste and it leaves Ellie chasing your lips for just one more. Two more. Three. How’s five sound?

She presses kisses to your puckered lips over and over, “all,” kiss, “the weed,” kiss, “you can,” kiss, “dream of.”

Ellie finally pulls away to fully look at you, “I mean it. You can have all the weed you want if you keep kissing me like that.”

————

When you finally clamber off of her lap and detach her hands from your hips it’s almost one in the morning. She sighs while she watches you stuff your ‘goody bag’ into your purse, slipping your shoes back on. Her fingers beckon you back to the couch and she taps your right leg until you bend it and rest your foot on top of her thigh. You were planning on walking home with your shoes untied, but Ellie’s nimble fingers quickly double knot each of your shoes; She presses a kiss to each of your knees before letting them straighten back out.

Her hands find your hips again—shocker— while she walks you to the front door. A kiss is pressed to your lips one last time and she gives you a firm squeeze when you lean in to hug her.

“Come back soon. Fuck that guy, I’m your new dealer for life.” You smile and step outside, “okay.”

She definitely tied your shoes too tight and you make a mental note to fix it when you’re out of her eyesight. As you’re walking down the sidewalk that leads you to campus she calls your name,

“Get home safe, yeah? Text me when you’re back!”

You will definitely text her.

[mochinomnoms]

Silly scenario, but imagine something goes wrong in Alchemy, which results in Riddle getting turned into a fish, specifically a goldfish like a legit goldfish, not a merman. If Floyd were to find out, depending on his mood, he would either laugh or annoyed that his goldfishy quite literally turned into a goldfish. Now imagine Floyd carrying goldfish Riddle around the campus in a small tank. This was funnier in my head, I swear.

I'm so sorry, Riddle, because Floyd has the impulsive decision-making of a 2-year-old who just discovered free will.

He's dropping Riddle into his mouth and just barely registers, “oh wait, I probably shouldn't eat him lol” before spitting him back into the bowl.

If you wanted to take it on a much sweeter, shipping note, this would be a great opportunity for Floyd to show a much softer side to Riddle. I'm assuming that Riddle is still very sentient and aware in this new form, but maybe the others aren't aware of that.

This includes Floyd, for plot purposes of course, as he takes to carrying Riddle in a little baggy. Riddle's not happy, as he's been snatched from Trey and Cater's very dependable hands and is now being jostled around in this stupid eel's hands.

Imagine his surprise when Floyd, upon entering an unfamiliar part of Octavinelle, carefully drops him in a pleasantly cool, refreshing tank. It's a freshwater one, too, which doesn't match the rest of the waters surrounding the dorm. It takes a moment for him to realize that it's probably one of Jade's terrariums, perhaps gifted to Floyd, if the random knick-knacks like a small bouncy ball and a still wrapped lollipop were any indicator.

I suppose he could be fascinated with freshwater marine life, being from the sea. Still, it's much more well-kept than I'd expect from Floyd, of all people.

There's a few other small freshwater fish swimming in the small tank as well. They looked remarkably healthy and lovely, despite being mostly gray and silver. The filtration system looked expensive too, was this all really Floyd's doing?

“Floyd, did you really put Riddle into my tank?” Ah, never mind, this makes more sense. “I thought I told you after the last time, stop added things into my tank. And when did you add that candy?”

Riddle had never heard Jade speak in such an irritated tone, it reminded him of how Cater would speak with his older sisters on the phone. Siblings don't always get along, he supposes.

“Aw it's fine, the little guys love my decorations! And besides,” Floyd leaned down to stare at Riddle with his bi-colored eyes. They looked quite pretty, he'd hate to admit.

“I gotta take care of my Riddle!” Huh, Floyd never, if ever, called him by his actual name. “Sea Turtle and Seabream probably would've kept him in that stupid bag until he turned back. That's no good!”

Riddle watched as Floyd rested his head on his arms, gazing at him with an expression he'd rather not name as Riddle swam around in the water. He had to admit, the water against his scales felt quite nice, Riddle wondered if being in a merform would be the same?

“And I gotta make sure he likes the water, that way he'll agree to move into our home after we get married.”

WHAT

Riddle was glad that he couldn't do more to express himself other than fan and flutter his fins and gills, as he's sure Floyd would rub his sudden embarrassment in his face.

“Please, you have to confess for that to even happen.” Jade scoffed as he reached his hand in to pick out the toys and trash Floyd had left in the tank. “And that's if you get him to not hate your guts.”

“Jaaaaaaade! You're being meeeeean!” Floyd turned back around to wrap his arms around his brother's waist, letting himself become deadweight for Jade to drag as he tried to walk to the trashcan by his desk.

“You can't say nothing! You're in the same boat with your mate!”

“I am most certainly not!” Jade's huff was almost amusing, if not unsettling coming from him. “My darling is just shy, I need to be careful—”

“You're a scared little bitch is what you are.”

Riddle watched as Floyd immediately ran out of the room, Jade following right after him. He thinks he could make out sounds of crashing, but it was muffled from the water and glass. It took all but of a few minutes for a disheveled Floyd with a blood nose to zoom back into the room, nearly smacking against the tank as he fell to his knees.

“Sorry Little Goldfishie, didn't mean to leave ya alone. I'll stay with ya for a while until you turn back into my Riddle. 'Kay?”

Perhaps delusional lovesickness ran in the Leech family. Perhaps Riddle was also a bit delusional, as the fond look in Floyd's eyes didn't completely turn him off.

[halfetirosie]

🐚 Important info from the [Mirage of Scales] PV! 🐚 (Reaction post)

1) This Oceanic Decor goes HARD!!!!! 😍

Fun fact about me; I often draw plants that are sorta remixed from how they are in reality. For example; a giant flower whose stem is actually made of tree bark (aka a literal flower-tree), a cactus with a huge rose instead of a typical cactus flower, plants sprouting feathers instead of leaves, etc.

So, a detail like coral in flowerpots is the type of whimsical shit I LIVE for, and it makes me really happy!

And that wall carving tho---it's so damn intricate! It gives me Mayan Calendar vibes!

2) Ooooo, interesting! I suspect Yakumo's intimacy rooms will have something to do with pearls this time?

Also, I couldn't quite figure out what those papers were at first, but judging by the top-left illustration of a spoon + the top-right illustration of a spoon mixing things in a bowl, I think it's a recipe!!!

Maybe we'll get to see some classic Yakumo-cooking action!

:D

3) FOX SPOTTED!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

For a second I thought that this was a hidden accurate-portrait of Fox Form Kuya, but then I realized that the white fur on its tail was on the wrong side. 😢

4) The lil' animations keep getting better and better! 😲

Yaku blowing a bubble towards us makes me feel some type of way...

Idk man, it's just SO FUCKIN ENDEARING....

MY HEART.....😭😭😭

5) 🚨🚨🚨PRETTY THIGH ALERT!!!🚨🚨🚨

6) Yakumo's hair really is GORGEOUS in this SSR...

(((Insert joke about my love of long-haired fantasy men)))

Nah but, aside from it's length---the way his two-tone hair is braided together is pretty as hell!!!

I feel like you can barely see the coral-red (lol how fitting for this event, CORAL red) part of his hair in its usual SR style, but this SSR shows it off especially well.

7) THE MILF ENERGY IS STRONG WITH THIS ONE...

😳😳😳

What can I say? Purple is my favorite color, and I've always been a sucker for fire-type Pokemon.

THIS BITCH IS TOO MESMERIZING...

It's not fair!

8) 😬 OH NO....

HE'S NOT GONNA BE EXTRA-TOXIC AGAIN, IS HE???

Come on, now... We just had an event where he was extra toxic. I REALLY don't want another one; at least, not this soon. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

And I don't say this because Kuya's hand is on Eiden's neck. Choking might not be my thing, but even if it happens in this intimacy room, I wouldn't find it upsetting.

It's because the combination of Kuya's hand on his neck + the voice line telling him "try not to die in such a banal manner" feels threatening to me, and that isn't very sexy. 😔

[ryuichirou]

May I, a lonely mobjami addict, ask you if you have any headcanons to share? I don't know if sounding pitiful would help my case or not, but if it does, just pretend that I asked this question with the same pathos you would get from a sad victorian orphan who's begging for food with an empty bowl in hand

Anon! A sad victorian orphan who’s begging for food with an empty bowl in hand shall not be lonely and hungry no more. I would love to share with you some of my mobjami hcs, and I hope you enjoy some of them as well!

Those are mostly spicy and dubcon/noncon-y, you’ve been warned <3

1. Jamil is one of the characters who gets loved by Mob characters A LOT. At least 3 Scarabia students confessed their love to him, and Jamil always politely refused them, while secretly being both disgusted (because he kind of hates everyone) and delighted (because of his ego) at the same time. Of course, to the Scarabia mobs Jamil feels like an unapproachable but still very helpful and caring idol... that was before what happened in Book 4 of course.

2. After Book 4 Jamil’s little fanclub turned against him; a lot of them felt personal betrayal on top of being mad at him for what the entire dorm and Kalim had to go through. Even though everyone promised Kalim to give Jamil another chance, the relationship was soured forever, and at the same time their obsession with Jamil never left them. One Scarabia mob tried to force himself on Jamil during that time to “teach him a lesson”. Jamil barely managed to fight back, but the entire thing got him more aroused that he cared to admit. For some reason, this kind of treatment made him more hot down there than their usual advances and idolisation.

3. Actually, Jamil’s little fanclub attacked him once more after that, but this time there were five of them. Kalim got so excited that they wanted to hang out with Jamil for a bit longer, he was so sure that they would become friends again, so he left the main room in a good mood without suspecting a thing... And the moment Jamil was left alone with them, they jumped him, undressing him, bullying him, touching him and forcing him to do things. Jamil had a couple of moments during which he could’ve used Snake Whisper and run away, but somehow he didn’t... maybe he’ll rationalise it later by thinking that he had to go through a gangbang to get their trust and adoration again. But still, they were having fun with him for an entire night, up until an hour before Kalim woke up.

4. There were at least a couple of powerful rich guys who tried to hit on Jamil at the Asim’s place. He managed to refuse because he had to stay near Kalim at all times, but he knows that one day he won’t be able to say “no” to them. Plus, he can’t really prohibit them from looking at him like they want to eat him. Actually, he can’t even prohibit them from touching his hair, his hands, his skin or even his butt. Sometimes he serves drinks to Kalim’s dad’s friends, and they always ask him to sit on their laps. One time he was asked to put his hair in high pony tail, and he knew exactly who that was for. His suspicions were confirmed the moment one old man grabbed his ponytail and sniffed it and then his neck.

5. When they’re older and Kalim starts doing business himself, Jamil would still get these kind of stares. Sometimes he would dress up a bit (while still being dressed appropriately, just exposing a little more of his skin) to put Kalim’s business partner in a good mood. But also there was one guy who was super disappointed in Kalim, so Jamil had to chase that man and beg him to reconsider. The guy reconsidered after forcing Jamil to literally suck his dick.

6. Something very similar to that Scarabia gangbang happened with Kalim’s business partners. Kalim didn’t want to leave, but had to because he had other business to attend as well. In result, Jamil was left with 8 drunk horny men who grabbed him and treated him like a whore and not Kalim’s helper and advisor/secretary, and that also lasted for a pretty long time. At least Jamil got them to sign a bunch of contracts with Kalim after that... mostly because these men were super tired, happy and drunk, so they signed everything that naked ruined Jamil brought them while literally crawling on the floor.

[tabl3]

ef incorrect quotes 2

skylar: What is everyone for Halloween? oliver: I’m superman. kaz: A clown. skylar: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

-

kaz: Why are you smiling? bree: What? I can’t just be happy? skylar: chase tripped and fell in the parking lot.

-

kaz: What are you eating? oliver: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. kaz: I like you, don't I?

-

chase: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

-

chase: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

-

kaz: I’m sorry for being annoying. kaz: It will happen again.

-

bree: kaz… I’m bleeding… kaz: Oh god… what’s your blood type?! bree: B positive… kaz: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding-

-

at 3am oliver: runs into skylar’s room and turns on the light Wake up sleepyhead! skylar: wakes up Dude! oliver: cackles bree: sits up from where she was sleeping behind skylar What the fuck, oliver? oliver: jaw drops Wait WHAT-

-

oliver: You are a solid 11/10. kaz: Aw, thank- oliver: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

-

chase: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. kaz: Erm… it’s nice see your smile when you win! later chase: He's probably just staring at my ass, isn't he. skylar: Yeah, probably.

-

(literally the first two books in the series (he was so unhinged 😭😭))

chase: Why don't I like this person? kaz: I don't know. Maybe it's because she keeps stealing your thunder. chase: Maybe it's because her name is "skylar". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous? kaz: No. chase: That's because your name is "kaz".

-

(The Trio That Always Accidentally Gets Into Shit In The Fillers™)

chase: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. skylar: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. kaz: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? chase, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

-

chase: We'll talk about this later. oliver: Fine, I won’t be listening.

-

chase: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. bree: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for kaz. chase, pointing his hot glue gun towards bree: You’re on thin fucking ice.

-

chase: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. kaz: Mine just says "kaz no." chase: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

-

kaz, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. oliver: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

-

skylar: Any idiot would know that. kaz: I knew that! skylar: See?

-

skylar: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. oliver: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. skylar: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

-

skylar: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

-

bree: Ah shit, I forgot. kaz: Forgot what? bree: How do you expect me to answer that?

-

chase: I feel like doing something stupid. kaz: I’m stupid, do me.

-

oliver, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

-

bree: How do you type so fast? oliver: Anxiety.

-

kaz: Why doesn’t chase find me sexy when I bite my lip? bree: What do you look like when you bite your lip? kaz: bites lip bree: …Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

-

bree: All in all, a 100% successful trip. oliver: But we lost kaz. bree: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

-

chase: Why are you guys acting like this? kaz: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

-

kaz: One time I went to hand oliver a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

-

chase: bree, you’re in charge! kaz: bree, can we start a fire?

-

kaz: holding a salt packet It’s just a little sodium chloride. chase: Actually kaz, it’s salt. kaz: That’s what I said, sodium chloride. chase: Uh kaz, that would be salt. chase: takes salt packer from kaz This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

-

bree, Entering oliver's room: kaz did it again. oliver: Peace disturbance? bree: What no- oliver: Arson..? bree: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- oliver: uh….Attempted murder? bree: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

-

kaz: Good news! I didn’t screw up! chase: … kaz: I screwed up less badly than usual! chase: … kaz: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

-

oliver: What’s sexting? bree: I'm not having this conversation with you.

-

Everyone is giving advice to oliver chase: It's okay to ask for help. skylar: You're not a burden. bree: Murder is okay. kaz: Your feelings matter.

-

oliver: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order? kaz: Anchovies and pineapple. skylar: I like beets! chase: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza? oliver: I’m disowning all of you.

-

bree: Where’s my chair? skylar: kaz broke it over oliver’s back while they were wrestling. oliver: Correction, kaz was wrestling. I was eating soup.

-

oliver: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. skylar: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.

-

chase: We have to plan, we have to figure something out. bree: chase, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

-

chase: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember kaz, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk. kaz: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

-

bree: wow you and skylar are home early from the movies. What happened? oliver: We got kicked out because skylar wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. skylar: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

-

skylar: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

-

oliver: Can I get a waffle? bree and kaz: fighting and yelling at each other oliver: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

-

chase: What did you two do? kaz: oliver: chase: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

-

kaz: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine? chase: kaz, what did you do? kaz: Take a guess.

-

skylar, holding out a cookie for bree: Look! This one's a heart, that’s how I feel about you! bree: Ugly crying skylar, holding out another cookie for oliver: This one's like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! oliver, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

-

kaz: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

-

kaz, texting chase: sends a voice message chase, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? kaz: No, don’t worry, just listen later. later chase: presses play kaz's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

-

bree: “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy” I would. Pussy. bree: “I’m not gonna sink to their level” I will. Coward. bree: “I’m the bigger person” I’m 5'2 tall give me the gun bitch.

-

(more short jokes)

The Squad: walking at the mall chase: Hey, have any of you guys seen bree? She's been gone for a while.. oliver: Eh, nope. skylar: No, I haven’t… kaz: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. bree: Hey. chase: Ooh, there you are- oliver: What the fu- kaz: I- where were you?! bree: Walking right behind you guys.

-

Kidnapper: I have your partner. kaz: What? I don't have a partner… Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? kaz: Oh my god, you have oliver.

-

bree: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

-

skylar: What's worse than a heartbreak? kaz: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. bree: Waking up in the morning. chase: Waking up.

-

chase: Look, skylar, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

-

chase: You have to apologize to oliver! bree: Fine! bree: Unfuck you, or whatever!

-

kaz: is visibly upset oliver: kaz, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

-

skylar: I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know him, and oliver is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

-

chase: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. skylar: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

-

kaz: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. bree: What changed your mind? kaz: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

-

chase: I am strong! I beat oliver at arm wrestling! kaz: Anyone can beat oliver at arm wrestling! oliver: Hey-

-

chase: oliver, I sense hostility. oliver: Good, because I hate you.

-

oliver: I have a bad feeling about this… kaz: What do you mean? oliver: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? kaz: No? skylar: That actually explains so much.

-

kaz: I just wanna be called cute 21/7. chase: Why no 24/7? kaz: Snack breaks.

[amuseoffyre]

Some thoughts I had while drilling a rock along with some thoughts collated earlier in the day. The writers don't waste dialogue. If it's there, it's there for a reason. This includes stuff from eps 4-5 plus the teaser for 6-7.

These are the bits I want to focus on:

Can't tell what's real and what's the basket anymore

Artsy outsider was always your thing

Can't tell what's real and what's the basket anymore

I suspect Buttons didn't turn into a bird. I think this is entirely down to Ed's head still being vaguely-basket influenced. Especially since he sees the bowl and the bird, but Stede doesn't come back and see either. Plus we heard birds startled and scuttling in the bushes literally seconds before it happens.

Part of the power of the basket is that it lets you see what you want to see and in that moment, nervously accepting Stede's invite back to the ship, what Ed needs a reassurance that people - he - can change. And how better to have your still slightly-untethered imagination do that than let yourself believe a man can turn into a bird? If Buttons can turn into an impossible bird, maybe you can turn back from one?

I'm curious what was in that giant spliff-looking bundle that Buttons had him hold right before his transmogrification act, especially since we already saw him and Mary with smaller versions back at the house. Could've been sage or could've been Buttons getting Ed a wee bitty stoned which certainly would've let him see things a bit more oddly and would definitely explain his giddy, blissed-out look as he watched 'Buttons' fly away XD

Artsy outsider was always your thing

Will fully admit that this one is a bit of a stretch, but bear with me and I will get to my point.

1. Ed mentions that he has a record to break based on mass raids and leaving chaos and carnage in his wake in episode 1. According to Oluwande, he's never seen a wanted poster with writing on both sides before.

2. Ned Lowe appears in the new teaser, apparently very irritated at his record being broken. This feels very personal an offence.

3. Ned Lowe enjoys hurting people but specifically, he enjoys hurting people in incredibly creative and artistically pleasing ways to him: he enjoys the perfect pitch of a scream, he tortures people with musical instruments, I half suspect the horrors he's committing in a lighthouse will end up looking like the batsignal for the Aesthetic.

4. Stede and his crew have already come across a ship where the bodies were left arranged in a tableau which feels like it was done especially to garner attention and horror: a man impaled on candle-sticks, another borderline crucified, another with knives in his eyes, and a giant bloody pentagram.

5. This artsy outsider, a bit of a sadistic weirdo even by pirate standards, has taken it personally that Blackbeard has stolen his thunder and is making a show to steal his thunder back in the most dramatic and over-the-top showy ways, including coming onto his current ship to torture his crew.

6. Bitter ex, anyone? :D

All that aside, I'm also now happily gnawing on the idea that the real Hornigold is going to turn up in the season finale post-credit scene as a hook for season 3. The fact they have post-credit scenes feels a bit of a waste, when so far, they've added nothing to the story. They're bait to make sure we stay watching to the very end.

[sariahsue]

Let Me Count the Ways

Chapter Four - The Race

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3]

"Five minutes until you're on."

"Thank you, Luc." Chat Noir said.

Luc bobbed his head in acknowledgement and shut the door of the greenroom.

"Only five minutes?" Ladybug whined. "I do not need this right now. Why did we agree to do this interview?"

"Because Nadja asked us so nicely."

The greenroom wasn't very large, and Ladybug had been pacing from one end to the other for the past fifteen minutes. There were only three cushioned chairs, a loveseat, a square wooden table, and an empty bowl. (He'd eaten all the candy by himself when Ladybug said she felt too sick to have any.)

"I hate these things! I'm going to stutter and trip and everyone will think they can't trust us because how could someone so dumb protect them from evil?" She undid a pigtail, tied it again, and marched back over to the full-length mirror on the back wall.

"First off, they've seen us protecting them for years. We've done a good job, and they know it. That's not all going to be erased if you fall over one time." Chat Noir came over to stand behind her. "Second of all, you look fine, LB. Don't worry about it."

"Easy for you to say." She patted the top of her head to smooth out invisible stray hairs. "You always look amazing."

He opened his mouth and closed it again slowly, unsure how to respond to the compliment. It didn't look like she noticed his reaction or even what she'd said. She was checking out her hair from all angles and growing steadily paler.

"You're right." Playing it off as a joke was probably the best idea. And as a bonus, maybe he could help put her at ease. "Did you know that I was adopted?"

"What?" she asked, turning to him.

"Yeah, my parents paid the doctor to steal the most beautiful baby in the hospital for them."

She snorted and turned back to the mirror. "Did they? That explains a lot about you."

Wait. Was she still agreeing that he was good looking? If she kept that up, she wouldn't be the only one tripping their way onto the stage. He felt like he could float away he was so happy. "Yeah, my face is literally worth a fortune now."

"I'll bet," she said.

"Paris is lucky to have us," he said.

"Yeah, I guess." She picked up the tips of her pigtails and let them fall again. They felt limply to her shoulders.

Chat Noir swallowed. This was probably not a good idea, but he couldn't resist throwing in a compliment. "Lucky to have the two hottest people in this city for heroes."

Ladybug jumped forward and toppled into the mirror. He snatched it before it hit the ground and shattered. She wasn't so fortunate. She landed hard on her elbow with a yelp.

"Sorry! Sorry!" That had gone worse than he'd anticipated. He was expecting a blush or stutter at worst, and a playful shove at best. "I, uh– I shouldn't have–"

She rubbed her elbow and pushed herself to her knees. "R-Right, Nadja likes interviewing us so often because we're both so pretty. Sure."

"Attractive people are good for ratings," he said, trying to steer the conversation back in the right direction. "It's a proven fact."

She marched over to the table and picked up the bowl, then put it back down again in a slightly different spot, then went around and fluffed all the pillows on each chair. Anything to keep from looking at him and his dumb face.

Why was he so stupid? He should have just kept his mouth shut. Now she was more flustered. He was supposed to be helping her. But no, he had to make it worse for her. And she was already going through so much, even without the added stress of interviews and fame. She still hadn't been able to share what had been bothering her so much since the gala, and he knew that was still weighing on her, too.

Before he could think of a way to make her laugh or distract her again, Luc opened the door and poked his head in. "Time." He left, leaving the door open after him so they would follow.

Time. Chat Noir had run out of it.

"Sorry," he said again. He grabbed the door handle and held it open wider. "After you?"

"Let's just get this over with so I can go home and scream into my pillow and never see another human being ever again."

They walked silently down the short hallway to the wings of the stage. Nadja introduced her guests. The live audience roared applause. Ladybug squared her shoulders and set a wide smile on her face, leading the way into the blinding stage lights.

---

Two days later, the interview aired. Within minutes, it was the highlight of every Ladybug blog and chat room and tabloid in the city. A few details in particular had caught everyone's attention. Ladybug's persistent blush, how her eyes flicked to her partner every time he spoke, how mixed up her words seemed to be.

Instead of condemning her for her stuttering, the media found it endearing and were delighted. Headlines like "Ladybug in Love!" and "Has the Savior of Paris Finally Fallen for Her Feline Friend?" were all over the internet.

"I wish," Adrien said out loud. He was slumped in front of his computer, chin in his hands.

"You talking to me?" Plagg called.

"She was blushing during the interview and people are misinterpreting it, when it was really my fault because I made her uncomfortable."

Plagg shook his head. "You're right, kid. It really is all your fault."

Adrien didn't know what he meant. He just continued scrolling.

---

Tag list: @clawsout83 @trippingovermyfeet @tbehartoo

[zedecksiew]

Three Clerks

Last week I tweaked my back. It hurt. A lot. As I recovered, I found that sketching with pen and pencil was less strenuous than writing on keyboard. So that's what I did.

Sketched characters from an adventure I am currently writing for Colin Le Sueur's We Deal In Lead. It began as a homage to Wisit Sasanatieng's tomyamgong western Fa Thalai Chon / Tears Of The Black Tiger.

+++

SHIN SUL SHAP, SHRINE CLERK 4 Grit 10 STR 10 DEX 10 HRT Switch (d4)

Face hidden by a broad-brimmed bonnet and veil. Patrols the lines of pilgrims; like a schoolmarm she thwacks anybody chit-chatting. Piety should be silent!

A waif snatches a lead token from her pouch, and bolts. A chase ensues. He begs your help. If Sul Shap finds him, she will sell him to captive takers.

+

Sul Shap is a clerk at the Shrine To The Headless Sun: a bare plaza; a marble pavilion; a golden man, with an ever-burning flame where his head should be.

The Headless Sun is patron saint of the Admiralty, whose laws now govern both Ocean and Sea. He was its founder. The kings of old captured and beheaded him. He overthrew them anyway.

+++

References for Sul Shap were basically Buddhist nun robes (mainly for the volume of fabric), plus an European bonnet.

Initially I'd imagined a conventional broad-brim hat---ie: her veil would be a cylinder around her whole head. But as I sketched I thought the bonnet made a more interesting shape? Also its rear was an opportunity to create a crest / halo of sun-rays. Religious iconography!

Alms bowl, because giving is a virtue. But the Headless Sun values ego-death, not asceticism---so colourful beads and gold amulets and pouches full of lead tokens (money).

+++

RIS SHAY NAM, RECORDS CLERK 2 Grit 10 STR 10 DEX 10 HRT Swung typewriter (d4)

In a wheelbarrow, pulled by a servitor, typewriter balanced on her belly, pockets filled with banana fritters. Greasy fingerprints on any document she works on.

Shay Nam thinks herself a moral soul. Will side with abolitionists and revolutionaries, with justice—until her own skin is at risk.

+

Shay Nam works at the Hibiscus Court. Princess Khur San, distancing herself from the old order, surrendered this palace to bureaucrats.

Clerks have filled its once-airy halls with shelves. By sympathetic sorcery, all contracts in the province manifest copies here. Rumour has it that this magic works both ways.

+++

This was my first sketch. In pain and bored I just started drawing.

No references, and it shows? Skirt and stockings and boots because these were the easiest for me to do. In my mind Shay Nam was an archetypal overweight NEET. Here she looks to be a sassy layabout. I like her better, now!

Also: a servitor is an empty body. Created when you ritually touch a shrine-stone to the Headless Sun---your soul is obliterated. What is left behind is mindless, hence the harness and reins.

+++

KHAN YUL MIN, COURT CLERK 4 Grit 1 DEF 10 STR 10 DEX 10 HRT Sabre (d8)

A university grad and former marine. But his townhouse sits below Rose Hill, on Merchant’s Row, beneath the old families' notice.

Yul Min means to change this. He has his eye on the Widow Gon. He will hire ruffians to waylay her palanquin—then swoop in, to rescue her. Elaborate theatre.

+++

Yul Min, like all these characters, live on the Sea of Sorrows, whose waters are literally the souls of the dead.

Roses always bleach within sight of it; to retain their colour they must be shipped in glass, then kept in arboreta—never once sharing air with the Sea.

Those who can afford red-rose gardens tend them on the south end of the city, where streets begin to climb Mount Go, in compounds walled like fortresses.

+++

Drew Yul Min last night. Had tabs open for "Thai traditional clothing" & "military uniforms 18th century" & "krabi" & "Vajiralongkorn".

Given my inspiration, I think the referencing of Mainland Southeast Asian material culture is appropriate. Maybe a little to obvious, though? Ie: the visual forms haven't been composted well, into new and more imaginative shapes ...

Still: very pleased with the proportions and details.

I liked how the hamsa-esque icon of the Headless Sun developed over the course of these sketches. I would not have discovered it, otherwise; it's one of those details, too small for words.

Drawing is an intrinsic part of the writing process, I guess!

+++

[lunarriviera]

i have finished reboot & i am sad

it's bittersweet—i mean, it was time to be finished with it; i've been watching it literally over the course of the pandemic. but enough! all things must end, even the arduously dragged-out conclusion of a whacked-out chinese tomb raiding drama featuring poisonous gas, hordes of insects, zombies, hand crabs, flying carnivorous clams, and "coffin dew," which like all the rest of those things does not exist. ruminations and pictures and spoilers behind the cut!

1. so why is this xie yuchen the most boring xie yuchen out of all of them? i don't even know this actor's name because i never bothered learning it. also when the hell did he become a doctor and do sketchy operations on people without anaesthesia? he's wearing pink, he's rich, he has the same name; but there the resemblance ends. this is not the xiao hua we know and love. where is my bitchy swishy opera-singing organized crime boss? no wonder there's no chemistry between him and xiazi; this guy barely has a pulse. sorry to this man. nice sweater, tho.

2. i was trying to prove that pangzi says "that's not your xiaoge" (which he doesn't, those are bad subtitles; he just says "that's not xiaoge") and instead captured this adorable picture of drunk bai haotian. xiao bai gets a bad rap—mao xiaotong is adorable and sweet and honestly kinda hot when she's not trapped in a bowl haircut and overalls. i appreciate that wu xie, busily dying of lungs, doesn't have time or patience to explain to her why he's not available, but zhu yilong plays it wisely straight down the middle, face impassive. ship it or don't, he seems to be saying; i don't care, it's not up to me anyway—the viewer can read it however they want. (but wu xie does manhandle her on more than one occasion and that's also kinda hot.)

3. admittedly liu sang is very very pretty but i still don't want him in my pingxie, like mint in my chocolate chip ice cream. no thank you please. i have always considered myself a multishipper, a live-and-let-live fan; but this fandom has taught me i'm monogamous and i guess there's nothing i can do about that. still. look at liu chang's beautiful features. he made me care about jinx beyond just his function as a whump magnet, and that's an achievement. someday maybe his ouxiang will give him the hug he deserves.

4. speaking of beautiful just look at these total idiots. i'm going to miss their stupid faces. xiaoge drinking water, so he can be sober enough to take his drunk husband home and put him to bed. wu xie so plastered that i have inadvertently captured the one (1) image of the most beautiful man in the world making a derp face.

BONUS: whatever this beautiful cranky bitchy "doctor" has going on. which definitely involves feelings he still has for wu xie, after what happened in germany. (you know what happened in germany.)

and that's it, that's a wrap. in the meantime zhu yilong has been in cannes being absolutely heart-stoppingly fucking divine, and i will bet you a hundred flying carnivorous clams that the next time he's there, his film will be in competition. the condé nast cover story didn't hurt. with each entrée he cements his reputation and, more importantly, protects himself from the increasingly nasty sweeps of china "cleaning up" c-ent. i honestly don't know what there is to clean up anymore; there's almost nothing left. immortality and the live-action of tgcf not being released; justice in the dark just abandoned not even halfway through. this doesn't end well.

at least as far as lost tomb goes, though, i've decided i'm proceeding backwards—so next i'm watching sand sea/sha hai, because i want to spend time with mob widow wu xie (qin hao has won me over via gifset) and ji chen's xiazi. until then, pouring one out for li jiale and chuchu. and wu erjing i guess. 干杯!

[ota-division]

Birds of Prey Drama Track 1 - The Future Is Now

Pt. 1

— Ōta City, Streets of Ōta —

[A large target was seen at the end of a busy street in the market districts of Ōta. In front of it was a medium-sized apple, seemingly untouched and looking relatively new. About 15 yards away from the target, a blindfolded Chinen Taria was seen casually tossing a knife up and down and catching it with no problem. Everyone was watching her with bated breath as she was preparing to perform another trick to show.]

[After five times of tossing up her weapon and catching it, the street performer casually tapped the knife to her forehead, a small smirk on her face. She again threw the knife in the air, only this time, after catching it, she suddenly threw it forward. Nobody knew what happened, but somehow, the knife ended all the way to the target, where the pierced apple now stood. Still smirking, the young woman walked to the target, took a piece of the apple, and bit into it, before turning and bowing to the audience, who soon started applauding and cheering.]

Taria: *Pulls her blindfold off as everyone is still cheering* This never gets old.

[She looked as the people threw money into a large bowl in the middle of the street. After five minutes, the crowd then dispersed. When they all had left, the young woman picked up the bowl and looked at the money inside, satisfied.]

Taria: Yup, never gets old.

[Pocketing the money, the young woman headed off to another street. After all, the day was far from over and there were plenty more people to entertain.]

— Ōta City Police Station, Kira's Office —

[Chinen Kira sat at her desk in her office, busy typing away a report on her computer. She fought the urge to sigh as her eyelids were practically drooping.]

Kira: This is quite literally the worst part of this job.

[She was knocked out of her stupor as the door to the office was knocked on.]

Kira: *Sighs* Come in.

[The door opened up revealing a young woman with blonde hair and fair skin in her mid-20s wearing a police uniform.]

Dokuro Ema[1]: Hey, Kira. How's it hanging?

Kira: *Sighs, shaking her head* Could be worse, could be better, I'll admit.

Ema: *Walks into the office* More paperwork to fill out?

Kira: *Sighs again* Unfortunately. I swear, this is the most boring part of being an investigator.

Ema: One of many perks that comes with being in charge now, K.

Kira: *Rolls eyes* This is one perk I could do without. And I never wanted to be in charge in the first place.

Ema: Yeah, I've always wondered why you accepted the position. I thought you'd prefer being a cop.

Kira: It wasn't so much that I accepted it, it was forced on me by the chief and the mayor.

Ema: You couldn't refuse?

Kira: *Stares at her in a way as if asking, 'are you serious'* Could you refuse an order from the mayor?

Ema: *Scoffing* I've seen you do worse things than that, K.

Kira: *Shrugs* If it was just the mayor, maybe. But the chief was there, and I have too much respect for him to refuse.

Ema: Is that cause of the disliking the two of them have for each other?

Kira: *Shrugs again* Most likely.

Ema: Well, you can't really blame the chief. The mayor's been taking control of every part of Ōta. The only place he can't seem to get ahold of is this station.

Kira: *Goes back to typing on her computer* True.

Ema: If you ask me though, the chief's fighting a losing battle.

Kira: *Looks back at her friend* You think the chief should give up fighting against the mayor?

Ema: *Puts hands up* I'm not saying that! I'm just saying... the chief should be careful. If he's not, then the mayor may find someone else to replace him with.

Kira: *Frowns* Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

[The women's conversation was put on hold as the door was knocked on again.]

Kira: Come in.

[Opening the door, a young ginger-haired man with freckles opened the door.]

Nishikawa Utamuro[2]: Uhm, Inspector.

Kira: *Sighs* What is it, Muro?

Utamuro: Uhm... my father, uhh, I mean, the Mayor is on the phone. And he asked for you, specifically.

[At that, the investigator's face fell and she groaned as she stood up from her seat. It was never a good thing when the mayor called the station. And even more so when he asked for someone by name; that usually meant that he was less than pleased with them for some reason. And with the mayor, that reason could be anything.]

Kira: I'll be right there.

[She looked as Ema gave her a shrug and a slight grin. Kira frowned and sighed as she walked out of her office to the station's personal phone. As she did, she sighed again.]

Kira: I wonder if it's too late to retire...

— Ōta City, Chinen Residence —

[Chinami Chinen was seated in the family's living room. In front of her were two Chuohku officials. One of them was seated, like her. The other stood slightly by her side, a silver briefcase in her hand. Despite being blind, she acted as if she could see the people in front of her perfectly.]

Chinami: ...So, I apologize, but my answer remains the same. I hope you and the Prime Minister understand.

Chouhku Official: With all due respect, Ms. Chinen, I'm afraid we do not understand. Otome-sama has graciously asked that you accept her offer to become her personal seer. And she has agreed to pay both you and your family handsomely for your service. Why you still refuse, despite that, we cannot comprehend.

Chinami: *Still as calm as ever* As I explained before, ma'am, my powers are not meant to be used and confined to merely one individual. I use my gifts to help better the lives of everyone, not just one person. What is more, there is a specific reason why I cannot work exclusively for the Prime Minister.

Chuohku Official: And may we know what the reason for that is?

[The blind seer wanted to reveal that the reason was that she did not at all care for Otome Tohoten or Chuohku. But that probably wouldn't have gone over well. Instead, she decided to say something that wasn't exactly a lie.]

Chinami: You may not know this, but my gift for clairvoyance only works when I don't have to deal with the same person more than once. I have a rule that I do not give visions to the same person more than once on one given day. The longer I stay near a person, the less likely I am to be able to gaze into their future.

Chuohku Official: *Narrows her eyes* And you mean to say that you cannot gaze into Otome-sama's future if you work for her?

Chinami: *Shakes her head 'no'* I am afraid so. If I were to work exclusively for her and her alone, I am afraid I would not be able to help her. If she were to limit our interactions to once a week, then maybe. However, as it is...

[For a while, the two women sat there in silence, staring at one another until the official opened her mouth to speak.]

Chuohku Official: Before we can conclude this meeting, I must ask you once more, Chinami-san: are you positive you cannot work for Otome-sama for the betterment of Japan?

Chinami: *Again, shakes her head 'no'* As I stated, I have no issue giving the Prime Minister my advice or visions. If she chooses to come here to Ōta, then...

Chuohku Official: *Stops her* I am afraid such behavior would be unwarranted and untoward for Otome-sama to do.

Chinami: Then I apologize. There is little more that I can do.

Chuohku Official: ...I see.

[At the moment, the crying of a young infant was heard in the back room of the house. Chinami then stood up from her seat, grabbing her walking stick nearby.]

Chinami: If nothing else, I am afraid there are other matters that require my attention. *Bows to them both* Please give the Prime Minister my apologies. *Raises her head and turns to leave* Farewell.

Chuohku Official: Just one moment, please. There is one last thing we must say and do before we depart.

[Chinami sighs, and turns back around to the officials.]

Chinami: Yes, what is it?

[The Chuohku official looked to the woman who had been silent this whole time. Nodding to her, the woman stepped forward and placed the silver briefcase she had been carrying down in front of Chinami. Though she couldn't see it, the woman heard something on the floor, though her gaze didn't deviate from the women.]

Chuohku Official: We understand that you have refused to work for the Prime Minister, as is your right, of course.

Chinami: *Creases her eyebrows, suspicious* Then...

Chuohku Official: *Holds a hand to stop her* Believe it or not, Chinami-san, I hold great respect for your divination skills. They've helped me and my family tremendously. In ways that you can't imagine.

[Though she couldn't see it, Chinami could hear the truth and sincerity in the young woman's words. The seer had briefly wondered why the woman sounded so familiar. Now she knew why. She was a previous customer of hers.]

Chuohku Official: *She then sighs* ...That's why what I have to say and do next makes this so much more difficult.

[Reaching into her pocket, the official pulled out a white slip of paper that was neatly folded. Unfolding it, she cleared her throat and began reading what was on it.]

Chuohku Official: "It is with great honor and privilege that I inform you, Chinami Chinen of Ōta City, that, per orders of Otome Tohoten, the current leader of Chuohku and Prime Minister of Japan, you are, as of this very moment, an official participant of the Division Rap Battle Tournament.

Chinami: ...What?!

To be continued...

Dokuro Ema - One of Kira's underlings in the police force, and one of her friends. Despite her easygoing, friendly attitude, she takes her job as a cop seriously. She often invites Kira out for a drink when they have free time, which usually leads to drunken one-night stands between the two of them. 24 years old.

Nishikawa Utamuro - Another of Kira's underlings in the police force. The dimwitted son of Ōta City's mayor, his father forced him to join the police force, not content with having him lay around the house all day. He is often treated with annoyance by some of the other officers, and is usually found doing the jobs in the station that no one else wants to do. 22 years old.

[mell0bee]

3, 4, 18, or 27 for the ask meme?

too bad val i am answering all of them (also spicier ones are under the cut) (also ty for the ask!)

4. Minor character you are (correctly) obsessed with.

i am picking one for each campaign bc. hehehe (do i have a thing for unhinged women. yes)

c1: ok i know she is not so minor but ridley. i think she is my fav c1 villain. i love how she interacts with the party, she is literally the perfect foil to percy (like oh my god, you wanna talk about narrative foils, who is doing it like percy and ridley???), and she gets by far the most iconic and memorable death of any c1 villain imo. "percy's killing you, not us" has been burned into my brain since i heard it. i also think it is partially the tlovm effect, but she is highly underrated compared to the briarwoods like idk man i feel like nobody talks about her nowadays even though she was in tlovm!!! plus every single fanart of her SLAPS and so does marisha's halloween costume. in conclusion: i love her

c2: i would say astrid but she is too major imo so VESS DEROGNA. im literally obsessed with her what was UP with her connection to the nine eyes like what was her relationship with the tomb takers and WHAT was she even trying to ACCOMPLISH like GIRL and also the beacons and yeza like what was she trying to have him do??? was it just her or was the whole assembly in on it?? and then she just turns into a STORY HOOK and DIES and granted that is also a certified iconic cr moment but like girl!!! girl what!!!! NOT TO MENTION she holds the EXACT SAME POSITION delilah briarwood HERSELF held and we know NOTHING ABOUT THAT. i think she is for sure far more connected than people give her credit for and is perhaps behind some of the c3 happenings. she is the literal definition of haunting the narrative like bestie she caused the entire aeor arc and Nobody talks about her!!! girl what!!! anyways as u can see i think about her on a very regular basis tbh. im obsessed.

c3: marwa. i dont have a lot to say about her other than shes just like me fr and i hope that she is the shopkeeper they decide to befriend this campaign bc i love her

18. Share one unpopular opinion but it must specifically only pertain to Sam's ads.

I Did Not Like The D&D Beyond Presidential Race Bits (besides the one where ashley roasts sam). im sorry sam and liam.

27. Pick one character, ship, or party; and one song you associate most with them, and explain why. This song cannot be on an existing playlist from the main cast. It also cannot be We Have it All by the Pim Stones nor Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford & Sons; I love those AMVs but please think for yourself.

i mean like i have a whole post about bells hells as the oh hellos songs. i also do in fact have several working dedicated character playlists bc im Like That (including a laerynn playlist that is only mitski songs, aabria i hope you are proud of me). HOWEVER chasing twisters by delta rae is an imodna song bc 1) i saw an animatic of it (i am in fact not a free thinker) 2) yeehaw, storm, and undead vibes and 3) there are literally 2 female singers and the first verse is imogen (born with lightning in her heels, lost hope when she was still young, breakin' horses in the sky, chasing twisters in the canyon) and the second verse is laudna (notably has little soul left, idk if imogen is the only soul laudna has saved but she has in fact saved her) and 4) kiki hasnt watched c3 in like a year but she said this song reminds her of imodna when i sent it to her and kiki is always right. its so perfect sue me (also this is one of like maybe 3 ship songs i can think of lmao)

not nearly as spicy as the other one but this is gonna go under the cut anyway

3. Minor character people in the fandom are obsessed with that makes you go "them? why?

oh my god ngl i had to go on the wiki for this one. couldnt think of anyone off the top of my head. i dont think he counts as a minor character but yussa. hes just like. some guy to me. who keeps doing Wizard Stuff when he really shouldn't. and hes also a trans king ofc. like idk i like him, but idk why some ppl are obsessed with him.

[tmlfan1977]

For those who don't know, I've been a singer for most of my life. I'd first discovered my love of singing when I was 11 years old when a friend of my sister's had invited us over to visit one day. It was there when I was introduced to karaoke. The girl's father owned a machine and a plethora of tapes. Up until that point, I'd spent much of my childhood singing along to songs on the radio. But karaoke was a game changer. The ability to sing my favorite songs using instrumental backing tracks was a concept I'd not known about prior to then..... and I was hooked!

It wasn't until I was 14 years young when I decided to take a chance by calling every bar and restaurant in town which ran karaoke. I was brutally honest with each of them by stating my age and that all I wanted to do was sing. Surprisingly, 95% of the places were cool with it! Even better, my mom was ok with me going to these places to do it!

I still remember the first bar I'd ever sang at. It was a place called "My Uncle's Pub". As coincidence would have it, the man who ran the karaoke there was none other than the father of my sister's friend who had introduced me to it only 3 years prior. Small world!

Needless to say, I took every chance I could to go out and sing, and even became a "regular" at a number of places. Friday nights (and some Thursdays), I'd sing at a bar called Brewsky's.... and Sunday nights you would always find me at the Desert Inn in a lounge called Stingers. A few years later, I'd spend my Friday nights singing at RJ's Bar & Grill, which was located inside Woodlawn Bowl (a bowling alley).

When I turned 19 (the legal drinking age in Canada), I switched up RJ's for Knights of Columbus on Friday nights, which became my watering hole for close to 20 years. I have so many great memories of that place, and had made a lot of friends!

It was around 2009 or so when I was asked by a longtime friend if I'd be interested in joining his band. He was a drummer, and his friend was a keyboard player. So the 3 of us played together for a few years. We didn't really "go" anywhere, save for a couple of private parties. Unfortunately, the drinking and the drugs between the two of them were a little much for me to deal with, so I chose to leave.

From that point on, I'd sang very little. I would go to karaoke at the Red Chevron Club maybe 2 or 3 times a year at best. I really didn't have the passion for it anymore.

This past October, I'd received a call from the aforementioned friend from my previous band of which I'd left, asking me if I'd be willing to sit in with him and another fellow who played guitar. Knowing why I'd left previously, I was promised that drinking and drugs would be non-existent. So I agreed.

We called ourselves The Basement Dwellers, a name I concocted as we played in the basement of 90 Carden Street in downtown Guelph. Google that address if you'd like to learn of its significance.... or lack thereof.

We didn't go far as a 3-piece, aside from a Facebook live stream we put together in mid-December. But, we were asked by the Pastor of the Royal City Mission to perform as part of their "Beat the Winter Blues" fundraising concert in March of this year.

That night will forever be ingrained in my mind as one of the greatest nights of my life. We performed a 7 song set along with a guest bass player. Prior to the show, I was incredibly nervous about being a "front man". After all, I'd done nothing but karaoke my entire life. They call your name. You get up. You sing your song. You sit down. You wait your turn to do it again.

For weeks prior to the event, I'd rehearsed in my head what I was going to say before and after each song. I'd literally never had to do anything like it before. So when I went up there that night, I'd put all insecurities aside, and I was a FRONT MAN! I had people clapping and cheering. I was cracking jokes. I sang "Happy Birthday" to one of the attendees. After our set, we even received a standing ovation. Watching the footage back, I'd absolutely shocked myself. I didn't realize I had it in me to do what I did that night. It goes without saying that I didn't come down from that natural high for days!

Anyway, we had decided before that point that this would be the Basement Dwellers' first, last and only gig. There were a number of issues surrounding a particular member of the band, which at that point had reached a level of absurdity.

But as they say.... When one door closes, another one opens.

I had started attending these Thursday open jams at a downtown establishment, where shortly after I was asked to join a newly formed band by the guy who was running the open jams. The rhythm guitarist from my previous band was also asked to join. Soon thereafter, a drummer had joined us, as well as a bass player, who concurrently played with the drummer in another band. We were known as the Downtown All-Stars.

From February until June, we'd play at the same place every Thursday hosting these open jams. It was fun for the most part, but quickly became cumbersome as many times our only audience were the same few regulars week after week. We had a handful of weeks where a plethora of talent would come and grace the stage. Those were the nights I enjoyed most. Unfortunately, in the four months we'd hosted this event, we received no payment of any kind. It seemed unfair because, especially on the busy nights, the establishment was thriving. I'd advertised the open jams to the hilt on as many platforms as I could find, and I gave 110% every single week on that stage to the point where my throat would be hoarse for most of the following week.

In late May, a gentleman saw us perform and had asked us to perform a set for Royal Distributing's inaugural "Bike Night" of the summer, an annual 2-month long event where bikers would come and show off their hardware, etc. I was absolutely ecstatic about being asked because I'd considered it our first big break!

During our soundcheck, I literally could not hear myself through the monitor to save my life. As any singer will tell you, you HAVE to be able to hear yourself. Otherwise, you're more or less tone deaf. I was quickly in panic mode because I literally didn't know how I sounded to the audience because I didn't even know how I sounded to myself. The problem was, the guitarists always had a tendency to be VERY loud. Even during open jams, you would constantly find the rhythm guitarist turning up his volume. The lead guitarist, who concurrently played in a punk band was equally as loud.

A few days following the show, I'd addressed the issue via group chat. The drummer and bass player were in agreement, whereas the rhythm guitarist's reply was standoff-ish, as though he'd done nothing wrong. It took 4 DAYS to get any kind of reply from the founding member and lead guitarist of the band..... Only for him to create a short video telling me that he didn't think anything needed to be changed. After all, he'd been in the business for yadda yadda years, and that there are a lot of places where singers can't hear themselves.

All this told me was that he didn't give a shit, and wasn't going to accommodate my concerns one iota. So I chose to leave. They'd held an open jam that following Thursday. I fully intended on going for one last go-round, but I'd decided against it at the last minute. If I was going to be disrespected THAT much, well..... What's good for the goose.

A couple of weeks after leaving, I'd posted an ad on the Guelph Musician's Hook-Up group, basically in search of another band looking for a vocalist. I'd specified that I was looking for like-minded musicians who were free from drama, ego and substance abuse issues.

Well wouldn't you know? This past Friday, I receive a private message from my former lead guitarist literally THREATENING me to take the ad down. He claimed that I was taking cheap shots at him, his band and his production company by stating "substance abuse" in my ad. The truth is, it had absolutely nothing to do with him. This was a personal preference..... a preference I'd even made when I created an ad 10 years ago when I was looking for a band. I told him. "Show me EXACTLY where I mention you, the band or your production company...... I'll wait......". He said if I didn't take it down, he would publicly defame MY character. For the sake of avoiding any kind of bullshit, I reluctantly took it down. After all, you can't reason with the unreasonable.

After talking to a few people however, I decided to re-instate the ad. I chose NOT to allow myself to get bullied, and I certainly don't take too lightly to threats. There were times over the past month where I had regrets, questioning whether leaving was the right thing to do..... but after he had threatened me, there was absolutely no question about it! I HAD done the RIGHT thing!

Anyway, as it stands. I don't know what the future holds in terms of singing. I'd like to think that the right band is out there somewhere. It's like someone said. You need to go where you are WANTED..... not needed. Truer words have never been spoken!

[genshinlover101]

Hello! I really liked your « Her snapping at you » it would be nice to have a part 2 where she apologized, maybe make the reader is a bit grumpy ^^’ thank you

Her Apologizing to You After Snapping at You

Characters: Hu Tao, Lisa, Yae Miko x gn!reader

warnings: none

A/n: Hihi, thank you <3 I’m glad you enjoyed it 🥺 I hope you didn’t wait to long for prt 2 

Also Miko finally got splash art?? I’m crying in joy

Link to Prt. 1

• After Hu Tao left the room you couldn’t help but feel a little off. Like something was horribly wrong. You and Hu Tao had been upset at each other before, but never like this. You two almost always resolved your differences calmly and even I daresay cheerfully. 

• You almost felt anger towards her as, fearing this was a sign that your relationship would soon begin to fail. Or maybe you were just pessimistic and this was your way of coping with confusion.

• Hu Tao felt a nasty taste in her mouth after saying those mean things to you. Safe to say she regretted how she treated you, it wasn’t your fault that she had a bad day. In fact, she had just chased away her only healthy comfort mechanism. 

You looked down at the spare mora Hu Tao left on the table, you were so stiff you didn’t know how to react. You even lost your appetite, clueless as to why she was even acting that way in the first place. Looking downcast, you left your house wanting to avoid Hu Tao altogether. Tempted to slam the door behind you in a tantrum to audibly show your anger, but you resisted the urge.

You decided you’d stay out for the night, doing what exactly? You didn’t know yourself, you wandered aimlessly. After about an hour of dragging your feet, you found yourself right outside the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. The eerie vibe of the whole place gave you the shivers, maybe something happened here that you didn’t know about, you thought. Maybe that’s why Hu Tao wasn’t acting right.

You started to feel a little sympathetic, overlooking the fact that your girlfriend quite literally worked at a funeral parlor. Regardless of how much she enjoyed it, she was still human, and she could feel saddened too. You heard footsteps approach from behind you. Looking you saw Hu Tao, looking at her feet in shame, her fists in a ball. “I’m sorry,” she muttered quietly. 

You’ve never seen her so ashamed, even when you two apologized usually it would be lighthearted and you’d both giggle together, slowly forgiving each other. But right now, she knew her anger was misguided and felt ashamed. “I’m sorry... for yelling at you.” She was at a low whisper now, you could barely hear her. 

Even if the mood was a little off, you couldn’t be more grateful. All you wanted to hear was Hu Tao apologize, and then everything would be okay again. You would feel okay again because everything was in place. You walked towards her, pulling her into a mutual hug. You felt her shake a little in your hold. “I’m sorry Hu Tao,” You apologized as well. You didn’t want her to feel alone, so you reassured her of your presence. 

• It was late when Lisa arrived home that night, you had to guess maybe around midnight. You were already tucked into bed hoping she’d be in a better mood. You had even left out a bowl of leftover dinner you had cooked earlier that night. 

• Even though you felt as if she had overreacted, you knew how important those books were to Lisa. You felt as if even though it was a single page you had bent, you were careless. You left out an apology dinner, in hopes it would lift her spirits.

• Lisa however, was still irritable as ever when she came home. Nothing could recover the books that were destroyed that day. She almost forgot she had snapped on you because she was so distracted by the discrepancies committed against the library.

Lisa took off her large hat, hanging it on the coat rack as she loudly walked through the door. She was so loud in fact, she had woken you up from your sleep, but you were all too tired to react. You were even further encouraged to feign sleep since you remembered she was cranky that day. You heard her walk through the kitchen and open the fridge to find nothing. 

She groaned loudly until she turned around to find a bowl of vegetable soup on the counter. It was still steaming fresh of taste. You wished you could see her reaction, hoping the idea of food would brighten her mood. Still pretending to be asleep you heard the clacking of her heels from around the corner, she was making her way to the bedroom where you ‘slept’.

You squeezed your eyes shut in fear that she was still upset, unreasonably scared she might shock you to death. That was until you felt a gentle kiss on your cheek. “Hmm~,” she sounded so peaceful compared to earlier that day. “Thank you my love, I know you’re exhausted yet you cooked my favorite dish.

You felt another kiss on your cheek and her arms holding her upper body above you. Her breath on your face becoming warmer. You tried your hardest to keep your eyes closed, your new fear was that she would be upset you were faking your sleep. Even though you couldn’t see her presence still lingered

You felt her backhand nuzzle against your face as she looked down on your adoringly. “I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier today. I pray you’ll forgive me when you wake tomorrow,” You were tempted to sigh in relief after hearing her words. “Maybe we can even do something special together for your forgiveness.” 

• When you left the comfort of the indoors, you had no particular direction. But you were determined to find out what had gotten Yae Miko in such a bad mood. Her shrine maidens even looked a little on edge after Miko’s explosive reaction.

• You wanted to help your girlfriend badly, but you couldn’t if you didn’t even know what was wrong in the first place. You stood outside looking at the Sacred Sakura Tree, pondering on how to improve her mood.

• Miko admittedly felt a little selfish. She knew none of today’s events was anybody's fault other than the Tenryou Commission. She specifically felt bad for you, as you were mostly on the receiving end of her anger.

You stood with your arms folded, still thinking about today’s events. You began to think maybe it was your fault, you could've left her alone and comforted her without having to dig into the situation. Feeling a little guilty you rubbed the nape of your neck awkwardly with a light tsk. You knew you weren’t responsible, but you definitely could’ve reacted better yourself.

That was until you felt a slender hand tap your shoulder, there she was, Miko staring up at you with puppy dog eyes. You couldn’t help yourself but think how adorable she was, even in the given situation. “What is the matter?” you asked, surprised because you never expected her to have appeared before you so soon. 

“I know it was immature of me to react that way. I’m sorry,” She looked down, averting her eyes. You’d never heard her apologize before. She was usually so condescendingly cunning you’d almost consider it below her to apologize for her actions. You squinted suspiciously at her, was this really Miko standing before you?

She looked back at you hoping, stunned at her own actions and the words leaving her mouth. “This is the only time you’ll hear me apologize so savor it,” she said realizing her own softness. You were tempted to clap back, but you didn’t want to disturb the mood or invalidate her apology. You gave her a light sigh feeling a little better than before.

Even though this situation wasn’t ideal, the morale was certainly better. You both stood in silence looking at the bark of the tree before you. “So do you want to hear what happened or not?” She asked, you didn’t know she expected you to inquire about it first. “Listen up because I’m not going to repeat myself, alright?”

[aritamargarita]

ATTITUDE || 010

WAKE UP BABE ARITA JUST POSTED ATTITUDE!! BY POPULAR DEMAND! i keep lying y’all… im sorry but here it is. look, tinier text! i kind of like this better?? that’s right folks i revised this entire chapter LOL you won’t be sorry…

tbh i don’t know where we are omfg i just know what episode we’re basing this, which is smackdown 11/22/2001, (which now that i look back i really messed up chronologically but AHHHHHHHH) oh well, im gonna do shows randomly ill jump from november to august if i have to omg

HOWEVER, you are starting to get regularly scheduled matches yessss. also ive noticed i accidentally kinda made the alignment heel-ish but at the same time leaning towards face?? tweener? tweener… i would also like to add that your moveset is like a mix of like liv morgan and sasha banks? maybe a SPRINKLE of alexa bliss???? fuck what anyone says YOU CAME FIRST YOU WERE THE BLUEPRINTTT wwe 2k22 stays on during writing

IM SPLITTING THIS UP BECAUSE ITS A LOT! this is 1/2, so keep your eyes peeled for #2. get hype for your match + lita takin you out to get smashed. (there’s something she needs to tell you!)

BACKSTAGE // 6:50 PM

Upon stretching with Trish, you held up the letter she gave you with two index fingers. “This is yours, right?”

The women’s champion recognized the letter immediately and withdrew from her position on the floor, suddenly pacing around. “Yeah. I left it there for you. Didn’t know ya’ found it so easily, hahah!” She threw out her arms in a dramatic fashion.

..It was kind of easy to tell she was nervous, even if it was a little bit. But you couldn’t blame her. The anticipation of seeing if someone liked your gift was very heart-racing.

But rest assured, you thought it was a nice gesture! She had no need to worry.

“It’s very nice,” You comment, holding the letter in your free hand while stretching the other towards your foot. “—the design, I mostly mean. I didn’t open it just yet, but I’m going to get around to it. I have like a bunch in my bag, so I need some time to sort through.”

“Right, right...” Trish suddenly snapped her fingers, remembering something important. “I’ve gotta get ready for my match! It’s supposed to be messy tonight.”

“Messy?” You repeat, your interest piqued.

“Gravy bowl. Like, a pool of gravy.”

“Ew.”

“Exactly.” She laughed. “Oh well. I guess if I can have fun, it doesn’t matter what I do.”

“That’s the spirit, Miss Stratus,” You chime, standing up from your spot. “I’ll cheer you on from backstage, then I’ll just go home. I have literally nothing to do.”

“Huh? Don’t you have things to do today though?” She asked.

“...What?”

Trish shifted around in her bag for a moment before walking over and shoving a piece of paper in your face. “Read it, but don’t weep.”

Your eyes scanned down the lines of matches....

TEST VS. SCOTTY 2 HOTTY

STACY KEIBLER VS. TRISH STRATUS

CHRISTIAN VS. EDGE (INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH)

TAZZ VS. BIG SHOW

KURT ANGLE VS. UNDERTAKER

STONE COLD & [NAME] VS. CHRIS JERICHO

RVD & THE ROCK VS. THE DUDLEY BOYZ

Holy handicap match! Did they seriously schedule that? But considering the segment that happened between you three previously..you didn’t put it past them that they’d do that.

But not only that, your eyes kept going until you landed on some words that were in tinier font at the bottom of the paper. Your name was written in the “segment mentions” section. Was that always there? They must have just recently added it, because you sure as hell never noticed.

You had thought about one of the other matches too. How interesting was that, to see Christian go against Edge for his title...it was champion versus champion just to get another championship. You’d have to remind yourself to give at least the both of them words of encouragement.

But she was right. You did have a segment. They must have updated the list at the last minute because you had no clue that you were supposed to do something for your show TONIGHT. You thought it was next week, but instead they decided to push it earlier. Ugh.

“Huh, who would’ve thought, right?”

“Get your stuff together, hotshot.” She taunted, a smile on her face.

“Get your stuff together, champ.” You fire back, shifting to a much more comfortable spot to reach your own belongings. You shove the card (coupled with a heart shaped box) into her face much like she did to yours. “This is for you. Weep all you want!”

“Color me surprised.” She says, taking the card from your hand. “I didn’t know you actually got me something. Thanks a lot, I’ll take a look after my match. See you.” With a small wave, she departed the locker room.

You wave back. You also didn’t want to ask Trish to come in earlier than she was scheduled to, she already had enough on her plate with that gravy match or whatever. It was fine if she came next week. The question was what could you do in substitution for that?

Suddenly, it hit you.

You’re supposed to be a heel right? Sure, you switched sides and were supposed to turn face, but who says your mean streak has to come full stop?

Those letters could definitely give you some leverage, and of course give you fake heat backstage for the sake of cementing your role.

All you needed was fake envelopes, a lighter, and the acceptance from creative to burn stuff. Maybe even sign some sort of waiver. Doesn’t matter. You didn’t care if it was in a parking lot or during your slot. You needed SOMETHING to get the interest out of the crowd.

...Is this how villains think? Just thinking about how mean you’d be was almost hilarious! It was so unlike you but being the enemy was fun. Sometimes.

Thanks to your very rushed purchases, you noticed that out of at least 25 cards, 10 were duplicates of others. You were only going to return the favor of whoever gave you one, so the rest were just trash, technically.

You could burn those! Perfect.

Now that that was settled, you had to think about handing out more gifts. Whoever you saw first got their gift first. As soon as you exited the room with the bag, you bumped into someone.

“Oops, sorry. I was just going in there.”

It was none other than Lita, who seemed to have pop up at the right moment. At least you wouldn’t have to go too far. However...the Hardyz were nowhere to be found. You’d at least think they’d be a little ways from her. Either way, time to kill two birds with one stone.

But unfortunately, she didn’t seem too happy. You impulsively asked the first thing on your mind: “Are you okay?”

“I guess.”

“....” You frown, but give a small shrug. “I’m willing to hear you out if it makes things better?”

Lita says nothing in response, thinking about your offer. She let out a huff and drags you right back into the locker room. She did not let go of your wrist either. “I…..We got in a fight. All three of us.”

“All three?” You question.

“Me, Matt, and Jeff. Matt was yelling at Jeff for his “terrible decisions”, and that’s when I got mad and told Matt off about his.” She shook her head. “So stupid. I told Matt to leave me alone and I stormed out. Now here I am.”

“That’s rough,” You say. Was it really your place to give advice? The damage had already been done and besides, this wasn’t exactly your battle. “—I’m sorry to hear you guys were arguing. But I think I can make your day a little better.” You hadn’t even realized Lita’s grip on your arm until you moved it slightly. “First off, you have to let me go, haha.”

“Sorry.” She apologizes, letting go. She then used her now free hand to run through her hair.

“Funnily enough, I was actually leaving out to look for you and your little bodyguards.” You comment, reaching in your bag to hand over the loot, to which she looked shocked to see.

“...Seriously?” She almost thought it was a joke, eyeing you and the gift. But her suspicion immediately broke down into a smirk after realizing what you said earlier. “And my bodyguards? You don’t mean Jeff and Matt, do you?”

“Of course I do. But I guess I’ll find them on my own time. If you don’t make up that is.”

Lita wasn’t going to complain either. She wasn’t going to decline a present. “Thanks, [Name]. If you really want them to get these, then be sure to pass the message on to them too.” Much to her chagrin, she was happy to indulge you. It was the least she could do.

“You’re welcome.” You stare at her for a moment before walking forward and giving her a hug. She definitely deserved it. Even if she jokingly mentioned how clingy you were. Nevertheless, she accepted it and you two part.

“Hey,” She suddenly says, starting to open the box. “—are you busy after the show?”

“No, why?” You ask.

“I wanted you to go with me to a bar or something. I’m kinda stressed and I wanna have some fun.” She proclaimed, immediately digging into the chocolate.

An invitation to hang out?! You couldn’t decline, but if it’s a bar, you won’t be drinking much. It’s not like you were a lightweight or anything, it just wasn’t your style. “I don’t see why not.” You shrug, accepting. “Just us?”

“Yup. Just us. You want someone else to come?”

“No, no. Just was curious. I mean like...”

“I’m not inviting those two, if that’s what you think.” Lita clarified, closing the box. “Remember, we got in an argument, so..”

“Hah. Right.” You say, immediately shaking your head. It would be a pretty stupid to invite them after having a pretty hard argument.

If she wanted to hang out, then so be it. This would be the most action packed girls night ever!

At least you think it will be...

As you were making your rounds through the hallways, you noticed someone that you’ve been meaning to spark up a conversation with. “Ah! Hey! Christian..right?”

You call, leaning over beside him to get his attention. “We’ve met before. You called me short I think.. or was it tiny??” You trailed off, trying to remember what he said.

Christian stares at you for a moment, before snapping his fingers. “Oh yeah.” He turns to face you, a grin on his face. “I remember you! You’re that fan, right?” He jested. “The one who wanted an autograph.”

“Not even close...” You roll your eyes, crossing your arms. The smile on your face didn’t help at all. “I just came to wish you good luck on your match with Edge. I know you’re champion and all,” You motion towards his championship, unsure if you should touch or not. Ogling at it seemed okay, though.

“Is that so?” He asked. Man, he was one of the cocky ones, wasn’t he? Oh well, it’s not like you hadn’t dealt with this before! “Well, I appreciate it. I think you can get promoted to...hm...” He looks at you up and down quickly, trying to come up with a new nickname. “Got it. You’re promoted to, ‘Cheesy.’ Congrats, [Name]. Or should I say, cheesy.”

…What?

You were confused. What kind of nickname is cheesy? What the fuck does that even mean?? “Seriously? Why don’t you call me by my name?”

“Hah. I’ll think about it, seriously.” He says, taking off his belt to shine it with a cloth. “Coming out to watch like you did last time?”

“Am I allowed to?”

“Guess so. You’ve been there before, so I don’t see why they wouldn’t. Besides, I need someone to accompany me to the ring.”

Accompany him too? You’ll have to ask if it was alright to do that. Maybe you could even speak on commentary! That’d be fun. “Okay, then I’ll ask. But don’t be surprised if I don’t show up! I’ve got things to do.”

“Pretty disappointing then.” He admits, putting his finger on your forehead. “I’ll keep my eye out for you. If you can’t come out, I’m counting on you to watch backstage at least.”

You swat his hand. “Yeah, yeah! I’m sure you will be. We’ll see what happens. I can’t promise anything!” You hold your hands up in defense. “Are you nervous? I saw your match on the list and was thinking about how if either of you won, you’d be swimming in gold.”

“Not at all. I’m pretty confident, actually.” He hit his chest with his fist. “I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win tonight. I’ve got a trick up my sleeve.”

“A trick up your sleeve?” You narrowed your eyes, unsure of what he meant. Hopefully he wouldn’t cheat and instead pulled out some devastating finishing move. “I’m sure you do. Just don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

Christian gives you finger guns, saying nothing at all.

Which meant NO PROMISES.

“I should probably get ready now..” You say.

“Heh, looks like you talked so much, time just flew by.” He chuckled, adjusting the championship onto his waist and walking past you. “Get a move on, [Name].”

You nod before shaking your head. “Wait, did you just say my name? Where are you going?!”

Christian was just glad you didn’t ask how exactly he got this match. It was champion vs. champion after all. You just weren’t ready for that type of information. Had you known he and a few others beat him up...

It wouldn’t turn out well.

SMACK!DOWN // 7:13 PM

It’s time!

Your talk show segment was now. You jump in place as an attempt to ease your nerves in gorilla.

Personally, you never thought you’d get this far, let alone be so pushed. You prayed to whatever god that was out there that this would be all for naught, and you’d be left with little to nothing to do. People were a bit iffy on you and because of that, so it was VERY easy to incite a reaction from the audience.

Once you had made your way to the ring and grabbed a mic, you give a biiiig smile to the hard camera.

“Hi everyone!” You greet, and the crowd responds by roaring lightly. “Remember when I said something special was coming to Smackdown? Well, this it it!” You chime, taking a seat in your chair. “It’s me! I’m the special thing. No, no really. It’s this whole set, you see!”

‘Hey! It’s [Name]! And look what she’s doing..?’

You open your arms presenting the whole set, letting everyone drink it in. “Well, I hope you’re ready. This is...Time Out With [Name]!”

Upon raising your arms, balloons fell from the ceiling. It was definitely a pleasant surprise. What a fitting celebration! “I’m so excited! I hope you all are too. Now, you may be wondering, what’s in the bag, [Name]?”

‘..Sounds like she’s a little whacked in the head,’ JR says.

Jerry agreed. ‘Couple’a screws loose!’

“Well, I’ve got a lot of letters. I’m going to do the honors of reading you guys my very own fan mail.” You reach into it and pull out a letter. “This first one is from—“

Almost on cue, you were interrupted by familiar music. The lights dim, and you turn your attention towards the front. Here comes trouble.

Literally. The culprit was none other than Stephanie McMahon, the woman who was banished from the WWF the previous night. With a mic in her hand, she hastily makes her way to the ring. Of course, to make sure all the attention was on her, she wore the sparkliest garment possible.

She enters through the ropes, giving one look behind her one last time. You could tell she was on the verge of tears. “I-I’m not supposed to be here..but…!” Stephanie trails off, her voice cracking while the crowd had already begun to mock her.

All you could do was stare. Did she really just fucking interrupt you?! In the middle of YOUR talk show?!

She continues on. “..But I have to clear things up! And I knew you were going to have a talk show, [Name]! So please, talk to ME!” She begs, coming closer and grabbing your arm. You shake her off, but she’s still hopeful.

Some security they have, letting the “Billion Dollar Princess” in so freely. You scoff, holding up your mic. “Am I going to get in trouble for associating with you?”

“NO!” She squealed, immediately lowering her voice after she yelled at you. “N-No! I don’t think you will.”

You sigh, tossing the letter to the side for now. As it flutters to the ground, you exasperatedly threw your arm out. “Go ahead. Just say what you have to say.” You couldn’t believe she just walked out here. And to plead her case? This better be a good one!

Stephanie takes a deep breath. “I’m telling you, [Name]! No…!” She turns to the audience, doing a 360 as she points at everyone. “Y-You all saw everything!“ Then, she turns back to you. “You talked to my brother, he’s the mastermind! I just wanted to follow my in older brother’s steps!”

You hold up your hand, causing her to stop talking. “Uh, hey, Stephanie? What does any of this have to do with me? Genuine question.” The McMahons really were dragging you into this! You’re about to go kicking and screaming. “I know I was with you and Shane for a while, but you’d better go to someone else. I don’t think I can help you.”

Stephanie shakes her head. “You can! I just want my dad to see this. Him and everyone else need to hear my side of the story! Ask me anything! I’ll tell you the wholehearted truth!”

“Alright.” You say, shrugging. “Why’d you slap your own mother?” At this question, the crowd gasps. Stephanie was just as taken aback by the question, but bounced back quickly.

“Didn’t you hear me last time?” This time, she had a bit of attitude in her voice. “I said that Shane ordered me to do it. Did you seriously think I did everything on my own? I was naive, stupid. Everyone makes mistakes. Like you.” She says. “Remember? You took members of the Alliance out and joined the WWF? That was a mistake, right?”

“I mean…” You weren’t quite sure what to say. Well, you did, but you didn’t want to be too mean. “Those comparisons aren’t even remotely close. Besides, shouldn’t I be questioning you?”

Stephanie nods, letting it go for now. She’d do anything for forgiveness, and now that she’s hijacked came on your show, she felt like this could be her chance. “G-Go ahead.”

“Okay. Well, I’d like to just start with thank you for ruining what I wanted to do. I’ll just do it later.” You snidely remarked. “But now I’m curious. Why beg to stay when you know it’s over?”

She says nothing at your first comment, but walks a bit away from the center of the ring.

“I felt falsely accused and I felt as if I should’ve been given another chance. The thought of losing everything I have and…” She gags, covering her mouth. “Living in such..ugh, low-class ways makes me sick! I mean, can you imagine having to even drive yourself places? That’s what a chauffeur is for! [Name], when I got kicked out with my brother, we had to DRIVE all the way to the arena! Could you imagine having to do that everyday!?”

She’s..wow. Stephanie is definitely something. You just stare at her incredulously, but then bite back a sneer, instead replacing it with a smile. “No way! I couldn’t imagine that at all.”

“You get it! See, this is why I had so much faith in you when you were with us. You understand my problems and I’m glad I have the chance to talk to you!” Stephanie beams at you, happy that you’re sympathetic.

“Right. I’m sure it’s suuch a drag to y’know,” You pause, leaning on the ring ropes. “..do all the work by yourself?”

Double entendre? The crowd seemed to be laughing at how irritated you were and could completely understand. They felt the same way! Being so rudely interrupted after going to read the fan mail. Oh, the humanity!!

“Ugh, yes!” Stephanie walks towards you, fast enough so that you couldn’t even process what she was doing. “You get it! [Name], you’re the only one around here that has any sense!” She sticks out her hand. “Which is one of the reasons why I’ve come out here TONIGHT!”

What was she getting at?

“What do you mean?” You ask, looking at her in confusion.

“I want to be business partners!” There was no sign of tears whatsoever, her somber behavior quickly transforming into excitement. “You and me, kicking ass! I point, you destroy!”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” You say, putting a hand on your hip. “I’m already partners Stone Cold Steve Austin,” Once you said his name, the crowd cheers. “Quite frankly, Stephanie, I have a feeling you wanted to ask that all along.”

She huffed, pulling away her hand. Her plan wasn’t going well and she knew as much. “No, it’s not just that. I really wanted to come here and plead my case. If I didn’t, you’d all think I’m some backstabbing bitch! I’d never do that. I’m really only…”

You join in on her sentence, the both of you talking in unison. “—A misunderstood young woman.” Nodding your head, you sigh for what must have been the thousandth time. “I don’t even know how they let you in here in the first place.”

“I snuck in.” She admits. “But c’mon. You’ve gotta think about it….please?”

And to make her happy so she’d literally leave you alone, you nod, holding out your hand. She shakes it, and that seals the deal.

Yeah, right. She interrupted your goddamn show!!

Letting go off your mic, you twist her around and tie her arms around her neck, giving her a Backstabber. The crowd pops at your attack, and you stand up from your spot, leaning over her.

“Try again next time.”

BACKSTAGE // 7:20 PM

The fact Stephanie had interrupted your talk show had made you upset. The thought of shaking her hand moreso. Once it had dawned on you, there was immediately a feeling of dread.

You had just “shook hands” with Stephanie McMahon. The witch, the conniving woman who’d rip your heart out if you ever made a mistake. And then you turned around and attacked her.

For some reason, you were scared. Scared of what she’d do with you in the aftermath. While she’d be out of the WWF for quite a while, you knew it would only be a matter of time before she returned.

What’s one way of relieving stress? By burning things, of course. You were going to set these letters on fire if it was the last thing you’d do. You had a cameraman with you in the parking lot. Your antics for the night were far from over.

“Before I was rudely interrupted, I wanted to talk about my letters. Unfortunately, I can’t do that.” You sigh. “I apologize to all my fans who wanted to hear my endearing voice read them out. Instead, I’d like to show an example.” You dump the rest of the letters onto the ground.

You go through your pockets, taking out a matchbox and removing ONE match. Quickly dragging it against the striker of the box, it flickers to life. You toss it over and the pile of letters are engulfed into flames. The camera turns over there for a brief moment, then back to you.

“I don’t think anyone understands that you’re all in my way! I don’t need any cheap ass letters to tell me that I’m great and amazing, that I am incredible and what have you.“ You say. “I’m not just some idiot who can’t work my way around the ring. I could out wrestle ANY of you, anytime of the week! And if you don’t believe me, come see me.”

While your message wasn’t long (you were told you had 10 more minutes), you thought it still got the message across. Anyone who wanted to mess with you was on their way to a world filled with hurt.

BACKSTAGE // 7:45 PM

And if it wasn’t for Stephanie ruining your show, the other devil on your shoulder had shown up just JUST THE RIGHT MOMENT.

Him. Yet again. Yet-a-fuckin-gain.

Jericho gives you a smirk, and the camera pans over to him. “Someone like you, burning letters. Never would have expected it. How’s my gift treating you? You must like it, given I haven’t seen it in the fire.”

“I wish you’d leave me alone.” You groan. “You’re always following me. And for your information, Austin actually threw it away for me!” It wasn’t true, but you just wanted to see his reaction.

You opened your mouth, but stop after realizing something important.

Back up a little bit. How exactly did Jericho know about your letters? You told no one about your plan and you made 100% sure no one was in the same parking lot while you did it.

"Wait a second." You say, waving your hand. "How'd you know what I burnt?"

His smug look turned into one of bewilderment. “I thought you knew already? Your best friend Torrie, she’s been running around talking about it.”

“She’s been WHAT?!” You look in awe and Jericho snorts at your reaction.“No, no, stop, what do you mean?”

“So much for being besties, huh [Name]? Well, she’s been saying you’ve been burning letters. She saw you do it out in the parking lot, now she’s telling whoever you’ve mentioned or whatever. I didn’t really care.” He muttered. “What you should be focused on, is our match.”

You simply roll your eyes. Oh yeah. You forgot that was a thing. Where’s Stone Cold when you need him?

Jericho comes closer to you. “And if you want, the Walls of Jericho doesn’t have to be the only hold you could be in tonight, sweetheart.”

You stare at him in disbelief for a second. How dare he say that to you?! Did he really think you’d go THAT low? And even try to imply you’d sleep with him? Absolutely not.

You had lifted your hand up to give him a hard slap across the face, resulting in the crowd gasping. Slapping him felt incredibly satisfying and he literally didn’t even know what hit him. The blonde brings up a hand to his now reddened cheek, scowling all the while you stomp down the hallway.

Him and his stupid match can sit in the back of your mind until the time comes. Until then, you’ve got some loose ends to tie up. Most importantly, you’ve gotta deal with Torrie (and maybe even Stacy, if she’s around. That’d just kill two birds with one stone. You technically weren’t “friends” anyway.)

So once you had seen a blonde woman just hanging around down the hall, all you found yourself rushing over there, ready to fight. “Hey!” You yell, setting your hand on her shoulder and turning her around roughly. “TORRIE—“

But this was not Torrie. In fact, it was actually Terri Runnels, who seemed scared that you abruptly turned her around like that. She held her hands up in defense and you can only sigh.

“Jeez, I’m sorry.” You apologize. “You’re…Terri, was it? Yeah, I’m really sorry.”

She gave you a nervous laugh in response, waving her hand. “Oh, it’s fine….” Before throwing her arms out. “Minus you scaring the hell out of me. What’s your deal!?”

“My ‘deal’ is that something really badhappened, and now I’m looking for Torrie. Have you seen her? You’re both blonde so I got you two mixed up. That’s my fault.” You felt incredibly bad for scaring her like that, but she should be thankful you didn’t just start beating her up first!

“Sorry sweetie,” She apologizes to you with a shrug. “Haven’t seen her at all today. What happened between you two?”

You sigh. It’s hard to explain what exactly went down. On the bright side, maybe Torrie hadn’t got that far. “Long story short, she’s been telling people something I did. And it’s a lie,” You add, which was another lie in itself… “One that might completely ruin my reputation."

“Well first off, you don’t go around threatening to beat people up.” She advised with a laugh. “Why don’t you try talking to her instead?”

“I feel like if talk to her, I’d drag her across the concrete.” You admit.

“Ivory should have put some of us into anger management classes…” Terri mutters. “Anyway, I still think you should try talking to her. No hostility, no…dragging her across the concrete.”

“I can try, but no promises.”

Definitely no promises.

SMACK!DOWN // 7:58 PM

Unfortunately after talking to someone about it, you couldn’t go out there for the match. You were a bit bummed out but they explained that you had a segment already and you’ve got a match coming up. They weren’t wrong, yes, you’ve got a lot to do tonight, but it doesn’t hurt to go back out one more time.

…..You just can’t believe this is your life now.

You’re definitely not complaining, but you never thought you’d get this far. It’s been a nice ride so far, which makes you wonder if the journey coming up will be hard.

“Hey, kid.” A familiar voice calls. “The hell you’ve been up to?” Stone Cold Steve Austin looks pretty beat up, holding his stomach as he speaks to you. “Heard ya’ been burning shit.”

“Noooo.” You groan. “It got to you?! She’s faster than I thought! And why do you look all busted?”

“I look busted because Regal and his little minions set me up in that ring earlier. How’dya not hear?”

You shrug. “I was focused on this whole Torrie thing..and if you got all beat up, shouldn’t you be resting?”

“I don’t have time to rest when we’ve gotta perform.”

There was a silence before you just decided to speak up. Funnily enough, him standing there literally felt like he was judging you, so you had to come clean. The tension broke you. “Yeah. I burned letters.” You admit, rubbing your temple. “I feel really really bad. And I don’t want anyone else to find out, but who knows how many people Torrie’s told?”

“I don’t see the problem with that.” Of course he didn’t, it was literally Stone Cold we’re talking about. “Ya’ just were disposing of crap you didn’t need.”

Crap you didn’t need? That definitely was one way to put it.

Austin continued on. “Don’t worry about the consequences. If people have an issue about what you do, let em’….and if they try saying otherwise, you take it to the ring.”

His and Terri’s advice were pretty different. To fight or not to fight….

“I’ve been doing things the way I like for years.” Austin reminded. “The consequences don’t faze me. People don’t faze me. Ya’ gonna let them mess your brain up.” He points to his head. “They get inside your head and take advantage of it. Instead of letting em’ do that, you hit first. So, how about it?” He says, patting your back harshly. “We get into that ring, kick that little pretty boy’s ass, then go home.”

“Yeah!” You sure as hell were. It was a good idea too. Maybe that match would get some of your pent up anger out. “And that’s the bottom line!”

You waited for him to continue his own line, but he looked at you as if you were stupid. “Sorry. I couldn’t help it.”

He shakes his head. “We’ll have to work on that. Get it together, [Name]. We can’t lose.” And he leaves it at that, simply leaving you with your own thoughts. Did Debra tell him to talk to you?

His words made you nervous, rightfully so. What would happen if you did lose? Would he be upset at you? Worse, you’d lose a teammate! Even more scarier that Stephanie wanted you to align with the McMahons..that couldn’t bode well.

It would make sense with you joining out of spite incase he betrays you, but after that, then what? Would creative just shelf you for now? Would you have to do gimmick matches? They were already a strong “stable” on their own, so someone else being added was a bit crazy in your opinion.

The idea of not knowing what came next kinda made you uncomfortable. Even if you should have been used to it in WCW (where things were WAY more disorganized), the feeling just made you feel icky.

“[Name]!” You immediately recognize that voice as Edge. A smile grows on your face as he approaches, but he doesn’t seem happy. And here came those cameras you knew oh so well.

“What’s wrong?”

He looks at you incredulously. “You’re seriously asking me what’s wrong? That’s just great.”

There’s gotta be something you’re missing here. “What are you talking about?”

“You should know what I’m talking about. Burning anything ring a bell??”

Oh fuck.

You had no idea what to say, you open your mouth but quickly shut it. Okay, maybe Torrie was well within the right to tell on you, but that wasn’t her place at all, damn it! Now they’d know you burnt everything! That you didn’t care about them! The only person you cared about was yourself.

In other words, the seeds were being planted!

The cameras were on you again, so you wanted to make this as dramatic as possible with him. “I just…it wasn’t like that at all, you’ve gotta..I didn’t mean it at all.”

“You didn’t?” Edge looked at you and you finally thought he would understand. That all would be well. “You didn’t mean it. Okay. It just gets worse, huh? The least you could do was check on me when I got beat up out in the ring earlier.”

“Wait, huh?”

“Didn’t know that, did you?”

No, no you didn’t. You couldn’t even defend yourself, so you decided to pull out the next best excuse.

“I’ve got my own match to focus on! I didn’t know! You can’t blame me for not watching….” It was going to have to do. “I couldn’t come out..”

Yet, he still wasn’t buying it. “With what partner? Stone Cold’s already been ambushed too. You must have not saw that either. Maybe try paying attention more next time. Man, this day just gets better and better. Continuously betrayed by my own brother, then I find out someone I’ve been interes….” He stops himself, coughing into his palm. “Someone I’ve been friends with, couldn’t care less about me.” He stared at you for a minute before turning around to leave.

“Wait a damn minute! You can’t just leave. And besides, I already saw him all beat up! Maybe if you were as good as him, you’d be raring and ready to go!” You yell, stomping right behind him. “But no! You’re running away!”

“Just shut up already, [Name].” He says, continuing his way down the hall.

This time, you didn’t follow, a new feeling of anger burning in your veins. The moment you lay your eyes on Torrie, IT IS ON.

hey! hey you! if you’ve made it to the end, YAY! thanks for reading and sticking around!! im working on fixing the spacer so it’s brighter pls bare with me. steve austin + reader duo is going to go on for a bit longer me thinks. *gives you both the tag team titles because i can*

[buckyshusband0]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | 𝐂.𝐄𝐯𝐚𝐧𝐬

pairings || Single Dad!Chris Evans x Teacher!Male!Reader 

summary || Chris son had an event going on at his school. Chris volunteered and you caught his eyes immediately. People say love at first sight is fake but, what happens when Chris experiences this?

warnings || +18, Swearing, fluff, In love Chris 

authors note || I was writing this to make up for the angst of my last post. Sorry again if I broke your hearts lol. Reblogs and comments are appreciated <3 | I didn’t proof read so any mistakes I apologize for. 

wordcount || 2.5k (I got carried away)

Chris sighed as he was waiting for his son to exit the building of his school.

He knew that this another day where he had felt like shit. He’s been feeling like shit for a while now for some odd reason. He just couldn’t put a finger on it. Deep in his thoughts he didn’t hear the door to the car open. There sat his son in the backseat of the Tesla. 

“Hey bub, How was school today?” Chris had said with no type of excitement or emotion. He just needed to be home and sleep. Sleep would help. 

Flynn, Chris son had been rambling on and on about drama that had happened in school which seemed not to interest Chris as he pulled up in front of his house. 

They had left the car and made their way over to the front door. 

As they entered, Chris threw the keys in an orange bowl sitting on a small table his mom had bought him. 

“Hey dad?” 

“Hm?” 

“Well, my school is having this event and I wanted to know if you would volunteer for it. You know, you being a cool actor and all. All the girls and gays at my school would be praying to be me.” Flynn had asked carefully knowing his dad doesn’t like school events like that. 

Chris had gave it a thought. 

“There will be hot people there-” Flynn knew what he was doing. His dad was single and most likely ready to mingle. Chris had been single ever since his girlfriend, well ex now was caught with another man in the bed. 

‘What could possibly go wrong with just showing up to a school event.’ He thought 

Chris looked at his son for a second and looked back down to his feet. He nodded slowly looking at his son with a reassuring look.

“Oh my God, you are literally the best dad ever.” 

“Yeah yeah..” Chris chuckled softly and made his way to the living room to watch some T.V. 

He got comfortable and laid down on the couch ready to sleep. But his eyes batted open when a vibrating sound came from his phone. “Fuck, What does she want now.” Chris said to himself seeing his ex calling him. 

Why hasn’t he blocked her? Well she is still the mother of his teenage son who mostly stays with him more. Of course she’s still in the picture.. 

“What do you want Anna?” He sighed.

“Chris? Where is Flynn?” Anna had sounded worried over the phone. 

Chris got up to check Flynn’s room. He opened the door and came across his son sleeping peacefully. He was now questioning why Anna sounded so worried. 

“He’s here with me. Why?” 

“Why is he there? He’s supposed to be with me for the week.” 

Chris jerked his head back at the words she was saying. Until he realized Flynn had came to stay with him instead of his own mother. 

Anna had been bringing men from everywhere every single night into her home. Either the men stayed for about 2 days and left or they just stayed there because she was too attached. 

Flynn had gotten tired of her antics and decided it would just be best to stay with his father for the week. He liked his father’s place more anyways. It was always calm and quiet. At least his father wasn’t going around bringing different men and women from around here. He just needed a breather. 

“Maybe he’s just tired of seeing you bringing drunk men every night.” Chris gritted through his teeth having enough of this conversation already. 

“What is that supposed to mean? Are you calling me a slut Chris?” Anna gasped acting all innocent but dramatic. Child’s play. 

“Bye Anna.” Before she got the chance to say something else, Chris had pulled the phone from his ear and hung up the phone. He had enough of her shit now. It irritated him seeing his son have to witness all the shit she been pulling ever since their break up. 

He sighed and threw himself back on the couch. Ready to go to sleep and wake up the next day. 

--

Chris was now getting ready for the event that’s being hosted at his son’s school. He had to really force himself to get up and go to this event to get it over with. 

He looked at the mirror for the final time after making sure he looked presentable. His son really wanted for him to do this so hey. Chris wanted to make his son happy trying to help him forget what shit of a mom he has. 

“Dad are you ready?” 

Flynn had stepped by the door frame and leaned on it. Smirking to his father who was wearing a nice suit that hugged his body well. 

Chris looked up at his son confused as to why he had a smirk on his face. “What?” Chris asked genuinely confused at his son’s actions. 

“Nothing. But my question for you dad is.. Who you planning on asking out?”

Flynn had laughed at his own remark noticing his dad would be way overdressed. Most dads were most likely going to wear sweatpants with a shirt and a hat. 

“Too much?” Chris raised his eyebrow. 

“No, no, it’s perfect. Makes you stand out from the other men there.” Flynn said nodding his head slowly as Chris had brushed his hair back a little with his hands. 

“Okay I’m ready now.” Chris said in a calm matter ready to leave. 

-- 

They were now parked in front of the school. 

Chris had furrowed his brows at the thought of all the stares he would get because he’s the Chris Evans. The amazing, sweet and modernly fashioned actor everyone claimed him to be. 

“Hey, if you don’t wanna be here I totally will get it dad.” Flynn said with a little hope in his strained voice hoping his dad would stay.

He looked at his son and then smiled. “Of course I wanna be here. I wanna show everyone that you have the coolest dad in the school.” He chuckled and looked out the window seeing the adults walking into the school. 

Flynn was right.

Everyone was underdressed so Chris would definitely stand out from the rest. 

“Okay, the event is starting now. You ready dad?” Flynn looked at his father with inspired eyes, Eyes he would never give his mother.

Chris nodded as they got out of the car and entered the building. 

-- 

Like predicted, Chris got stares from people. People came up to him for either a picture or an autograph. He didn’t think anything of it until he saw a male with glowing y/s/c, glistening e/c eyes and a smile that can make anyone melt. 

His dark eyes suddenly turned soft at the sight of you. 

You were talking to one of your colleagues he assumed. The way you would smile when a joke was said to you. That made Chris body feel limb. He didn’t know why he was feeling this. But he was. 

‘Why am I feeling like this? I don’t even know the man.’  

While you were talking to people here and there, you felt a pair of eyes on you. You didn’t think much of it until you turned your head to notice no other than the Chris Evans staring at you. Your face felt hot as he kept staring at you. 

You excused yourself from the current conversation you were in and walked over to the six foot male. He looked down for a bit getting nervous as he realized you were walking towards him and no on else. 

“You just gonna keep staring at me without saying anything?” You asked jokingly trying to get the mans attention. 

He looked up and made eye contact with your bright/dark e/c eyes. He smiled at the sight of you. Usually he would be able to talk to someone he liked. But you were different. You made the six foot Bostonian man nervous. 

“Uh, sorry about that.” 

“Don’t be sorry, I’m Y/N by the way.” You reached your hand out hoping he would shake it because if he didn’t.. awkward. 

He took your hand in his. 

‘JESUS THIS MAN HAND IS HUGE!’ You realized how big his hands were compared to your small hands. Well small compared to his at least. 

“I’m Chris, I’m guessing you knew that already.” Chris had chuckled thinking that since he is well know and the word is going around he’s in the school.

“Nah I didn’t know. I’m not really into six foot Bostonian actors.” You stated in a joking tone laughing at your own joke. 

Chris had brought his hand up to his chest pretending to be offended. 

“You don’t huh?” You nodded. 

“Well actually, there’s this one man who’s an exception.” 

Chris raised his eyebrows wanting to know if you meant him. “And who is this ‘exception’ I may ask?” You looked at him and smiled. “Mark Wahlberg.” You stated simply waiting for Chris to react.

“Ouch.” 

“Oh relax, you’re the exception Chris Evans.” You batted your eyelashes at the Bostonian man in front of you. 

He smiled at you with redness rising to his cheeks.

“Well, If I’m an exception. How would you feel if this exception asked you to go to dinner with him?” Chris said rather smoothly hoping you say yes. 

“Like a date?” 

He looked away for a second and met your e/c eyes again. “Exactly like a date.” You felt heat reach your face realized the Chris Evans is asking you on a date. Who would have thought Chris would go for some High school teacher. 

“Then I’ll say yes to date and ask if I’ll see him at 8 pm.” You couldn't see it but Chris was literally having a dance party in his head. The way his heart was beating so hard that it might’ve flew right out of his chest. 

“I’ll see you at 8 pm Saturday then.” Chris said walking off but winking at you as he left the building with his son. 

-- 

Chris was smiling like an idiot driving the car. 

Just the thought of you brought happiness to his heart. He hasn’t felt this happiness in months. Maybe even years. He was finally going to be happy with you. 

His thoughts were interrupted when his son patted his shoulder. 

“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Flynn asked his dad curious. One second his dad didn’t care for a thing and now he looks so happy like he’s about to explode. 

Chris looked at Flynn before smiling.

“Guess you just got a date with their son’s teacher... This guy!!” He said pointing fingers to himself chuckling slightly. 

“Shut up!! You got a date!? With my.. teacher?!” Flynn was excited for his dad because it was time he moved on with his life. Find a new happy source instead of trapping himself down to ever find love again. 

“Yeah! His name is Y/N. I felt like I was going to explode with how handsome he was.” He said blushing at the thought of you. He just couldn’t believe you were real. Like c’mon. He fell in love with you when he first set his eyes on you. Love at first sight is real as a bitch. 

“I’m happy for you dad. It’s time that you find that happiness and love you were looking for.” Flynn said rubbing his dad shoulder excited about this new relationship that will blossom through time. 

-- 

It was now Saturday. 

You were just finished getting ready. Adding finishing details to your appearance. You heard the doorbell ring and looked the the clock. 8 pm sharp. Man was this guy good with time. 

You opened the door to see a smiling Chris with a banquet of flowers ready to be placed into your home. You smiled back at him and took the flowers out   of his grasp. 

“Hi Chris.” 

“H-Hi Y/N.” Chris sounded so nervous because you looked absolutely amazing. They way your shirt showed your muscles. He just couldn’t believe someone so perfect would be standing in front of him. 

“Are you ready to go?” Chris asked as you nodded rather fast. 

He placed his huge hand on the back of your waist sending shivers up your spine. The chock hold this man had you in..

He opened the passenger seat door for you, waiting for you to enter. Once entered, he raced over to the other side before getting in and speeding off the curb. 

-- 

You two entered a fancy restaurant. 

Chris had his hand on the back of your waist again making his way to the front desk seeing a woman sitting there. 

“Reservation for Evans, Chris Please.”  She smiled and typed on her computer. 

“Yup right here, follow me please.” She got up and you and Chris followed her to a two seat table. The table looked fancy and everything. You weren’t used to it.

“You know we could’ve went to McDonald’s and I would’ve been fine with that.” You chuckle and Chris follows. “I wanted to something special for a special boy.” You blushed at Chris flirting. 

As you were about to say something, your moth glued shut when the waiter came by to take your orders. Chris had ordered wine for the both of you. You had ordered A burger with fries and Chris ordered a redbone steak.

“So, Tell me something about yourself Y/N?” 

“What do you wanna know?” You batted your eyelashes at him.

He smiled. 

“Everything.” 

You told him mostly everything trusting the Bostonian man sitting in front of you. Chris and you just kept the conversating going after realizing what time it was. 

It was nearly 12 am now. 

--

You two left the car as Chris parked in front of your house. 

“I enjoyed tonight.” You said breaking the silence, 

He looked at you and smiled so hard. God that smile was to die for. Especially if you’re the one causing it.

“I enjoyed tonight also.” He took a pause before saying, “Do- Do you maybe wanna hang out some more another time?” A glimpse of hope in his eyes. 

“I would love that.” You two exchanged looks before Chris gaze fell to your lips. 

He pressed his thumb against your cheek, rubbing it gently. He gazed at your lips and leaned in to kiss them. You leaned in more connecting your lips more. You stayed like that for at least 3 minutes before backing away to get some air. 

You got out of the car and blew him a quick kiss before heading inside. 

--

Chris had quietly entered his house hoping to not wake his son. 

When he turned the light on, he was greeted with an excited Flynn waiting to hear everything. Chris jumped at first and sighed.

“Shouldn’t you be sleep?”

“I’m 16 dad.” Flynn rolled his eyes before continuing. “How’d it go? Tell me everything!!” Flynn was eager to know how it went. Chris chuckled at his son’s actions.

“It went amazing. We even kissed.” He said the last part quietly but Flynn did not miss that. Of course he didn’t.. 

“OH MY GOD!!!” Flynn yelled jumping up and down for his father.

“So are you happy?” Flynn said after he calmed down.

Chris took a moment to respond thinking about you. Your personality and everything about you was just perfect. 

“I am happy..”