#i love figuring out the different ways goth kids can be goth in a fantasy realm

[nobodieshero-main]

goth kerenian's kiss each others eyelids in greeting. btw.

[blondiexe]

About “I’m Not Starfire”…

So I’ve been following the drama with this knew YA graphic novel coming out called “I’m Not Starfire”.  This graphic novel has been the subject of debate for a bit because of it’s premise and use of characters (designs and use).

The premise of the novel is about a girl named Mandy who struggles with her sexuality, looks, and other superficial stuff.  Now, I say superficial because her mother’s motherfucking Starfire.  As in Teen Titans Starfire.  As in the bubbly alien girl that has to deal with learning about new cultures and is fiercely protective and supportive of her friends despite their origins.

From what we’ve seen so far, Starfire is depicted as a model-like social figure that doesn’t really care for her daughter and only wants to control her future.  She wears a courtesan-like outfit in one of her shown appearances and in another dresses like a model on the cover of a magazine with Mandy.  Those who know Starfire’s character know that she would be the BEST mother EVER, spoiling her child with affection and providing them with the same fierce protection and support that she gives her friends.  She also already has a daughter with Dick Grayson aka Robin named Mar’i (Mari? Idk) Grayson aka Nightfire in a short spinoff series.  I think she also has a son or two but I don’t really know.  What’s important is that Starfire already has a daughter.

Now let’s talk about the main character, Mandy.  She’s overweight, “goth”, emo in a way, hates the world, and thinks that everyone’s out to get her.  Now, I know someone that acts just like this, and I cut her out of my life because of the vibe arsenic that she leached into the air like spores whenever she disagreed with someone.  Mandy is NOT Mar’i, obviously, and is an obvious self-insert of the author.  Mar’i looks more like her parents than Mandy looks like her own mother.  She’s meant to appeal to someone, but fortunately only appeals to the author that made her.  Her personality mainly consists of “lesbian” and “it’s not a phase, mom”.

Now, the story.  She skips her S.A.T.s and wants to run away to Paris with her crush (which atm is basically a cardboard cutout but the outline of one).  Starfire, in what we’ve seen, is exactly how we’d think she’d be as a mom with this demon kid.  In one of the shown scenes that we’ve been shown, she buys a shitton of Chinese takeout and tries to help her daughter decide on which college she wants to go to.  Mandy completely ignores her, storming off to her room claiming that she “doesn’t understand” her.  I’m trying to figure out college right now, and I would be extremely happy to have help from my mom.  Starfire didn’t do ANYTHING to “pry into her life”.  She’s doing what any mother  of a hormonal teenage daughter would have done: understand her or reach an understand her.

So, obviously, this book sucks so far.  The story came right out of Hallmark or Lifetime’s corporate dumpster, the character should have the superhero name of Dumpsterfire because of her personality and design (I mean that outfit’s ATROCIOUS honey what were you thinking), and there’s nothing fantastical about this fantasy story besides Starfire herself and I think Blackfire?

Now we talk about how to fix this.

1. Fix the story.  Firstly, make the superhero part of the superhero aspect actually a thing.  Give “Mandy” a watered-down version of her mother’s powers to actually make her appear to actually be Starfire’s daughter.  She’s an alien for Christ’s sake, her daughter’s bound to have her genetics.  Have the main conflict be about how Starfire’s been protecting her from being a hero and how she’s been trying to push her to have a normal life.  But she can’t, because she looks half-alien and has powers regardless of how her mother and father have been pushing her in other directions.  Oh yeah, and add in Dick.  He’s her father and Starfire’s one true love, for the love of Pete!  You can make “Mandy” struggle with having to balance her life with her abilities and family history as well as the pressure of living up to her parents and extended family (the collective Waynes). This also adds in Blackfire as the villain, trying to fuck with her sister’s life because she’s bored or some shit.

2. Fix the main character.  “Mandy” should be more goth than emo. Goth is all about the style and mindset, which is more along the lines of seeing the beautiful in the macabre and morbid.  Think Addams Family.  Make her happy with life, but anxious because of life stuff.  That way, most teens can actually relate to her.  She should also have a different design. Make her more fit due to her parents’ lifestyle and that fact that her mom might not be able to gain weight (might just be speculation I might need to find a source for this).  Give her slightly darker skin because her mom’s FUCKING ORANGE.  Also, Nightfire’s RIGHT THERE.  Take elements from her design, like her naturally dark hair.  She can still be gay because the youths can relate and also with the fixed character this can be good representation. Because right now it sure isn’t. Also, give her a hobby.  Goth and gay isn’t a personality.  Make her an artist of sort.  “Artist” can mean anything, from painting to theatre.  Make us care about her and her struggles.  Also, that outfit can be fixed.  Like what is that on the top half of her body like wtf.  She should also have a personality quirk like a social thing because of how she’s treated by those around her.  If my parents were famous I’d feel like no one paid attention to me besides my accomplishments, making me really quiet and a doormat.  The main character is the main focus of the book, so making them appealing is the most important thing here besides a compelling story.

3. Make other characters three-dimensional.  This should be self-explanatory.  Make the side characters fit the story and have their own personality.  What makes the love interest so great? What’s her deal?  Make them almost if not as appealing as the main character.  Basic stuff.

So there you go.  Oh, before I go, here’s what I liked:

Starfire’s design besides her clothes and the art style, even though it fits better on WEBTOON than as an official DC graphic novel. 

[nobodiesheartlessshitblog45]

My Headcannons For Nanami Kento

As all know this man is a foodie. Love fresh bread and other baked goods.

He doesn’t watch TV, but dose watch the food network tried to learn new recipes. Goes in YouTube and watches baking  tutorials and tries to learn ways to cook. Nanami doesn’t watch any mainstream media however this man is secretly a huge Star Wars nerd. Watched all the movies, seen all the tv shows. He’s also watched the Mandolarian at least 3 times and has cried his eyes each time. Has a plushie of Grugo on his couch, and has some Star Wars poster hanging on his walls and some toys. His favorite book is the hobbit and dose enjoy the Peter Jackson films.

He reads a lot of books. Mostly science-fiction and Fantasy. His favorite book as a child was the Moomins that his grandpa would to him all the time. He was very close to his grandfather, he and his grandmother own a bakery, and teach Kento about baking and make him fresh baked bread, witch is way he has a fondness for bread.

Loves listening music. Love listening to LoFi hip hop, soft jazz. Dose love classic rock, his favorite band is Queen and has a huge fan of David Bowie, Prince and Nanami is a low key metalhead. Big fan of Linkin Park.But after a long stressful day of fighting and  exercising cures, doing endless paperwork and dealing with Gojo’s idiocy, Kento loves put off soft jazz have a nice glass of wine and just relax.

Has huge soft spot for animals, mostly cats and bunnies.

Totally had an emo goth phase when was in middle school. 

Knows a bit of Dutch.

He’s a plant dad. Has small garden in his backyard will with different types of veggies and flowers and it is his pride and joy. Only few people be trust to take off his plant children are Maki, Toge, Megumi and Nobara. Yuji killed at least 2 plates by accident so he’s banned, Panda has eaten some Kento’s plants so he’s banned as well and Gojo is forbidden to go near Kento’s babies. Those 3 are forever banned for going near Kento’s Garden.

Dose like black and white movies.

Dose drink fine wine and craft beer, went drinking with Gojo only once and never will do it again.

Since he started training Yuji the two became extremely close, and Yuji began to him as afatherly figure, Yuji is good kid, but Gojo is around it’s like dealing with two teenagers, one who is smart and willing learn everything and the other was… will an obnoxious idiot.

Cooks for Yuji will make him eat healthy food. Let’s face it Nanami has basically adopted Yuji and will make sure that he’s safe, to him Yuji is a child. As strong has has he is. Yuji is still a chide and Kento doesn’t want him to deal with trauma being of Jujutsu Sorcerer.

Nanami Kento’s ideal s/o

I can see him with both a Sorcerer or a civilian.

He would want someone his who is calm and down to earth. Someone who can work with him during those chaotic days when the sorcery world gets to much. He wants to someone who makes him feel normal. He will not tolerate someone who disrespected to him, or hurt Yuji or other kids that will be major problem for him and Kento will cut your ass if you try to him or the kids.

He would want someone who kind, upfront and honest with him. Someone who is can stand own ground and fight. The one thing Kento finds very attractive is someone’s will. This man will respect and fall madly in love you if you have an iron will and will keep on fighting no matter. If even if you ask for his if just picking a thing of milk or fight a powerful curse this man will being there beside you no matter what.

This man is extremely an overprotective lover. It doesn’t matter if his s/o is a stronger, this man will always worry about his lover’s wellbeing. He will never undermine his lover’s skills or abilities but if you need help in a fight he’s be there ready to battle by your side. If someone were try intimidate or try to attack his s/o Nanami set in and will beat the hell out of whoever dare hurt is beloved. He make look calm and cool inside but on the inside there’s an unholy rawr anger that would ravel the flames of hell it lself. After the battle with the cruse/evil sorcerer, and his s/o badly hurt he will bring to Dr.Shoko and he make sure that his s/o all take care of. Even if his s/o had minor cuts and bruise this his man will pick you up and carry all the way to the Shoko’s office. He’s a mother hen when it comes to lover’s will being. Will they are badly injured he would bring them food, make sure they don’t push themselves and if they called to a mission, he will step in tell they higher up that his s/o taking some sick days. If you have medication he will make sure that they take them. Will make that sure that they are not pushing themselves. And will personally tell Gojo fuck off if he’s annoying the living hell out them.

Also the like Satoru, Kento loves someone a sense of humor, but not Gojo’s humor. Someone who is quick witted, and clever. Too him intelligence is so fucking sexy. He wants to who can understand him. With the job that he dose office work or sorcerer like it’s both mentally and emotionally draining to him, he wants to someone he can relate to on personal and emotional leave. Someone to make feel a bit normal. Even for a little while. He wants to he can be vulnerable with, and just drop the walls that he has and just be human. The man wants someone kind, loving and honest. No bullshit just someone who is up front with him, no sugar coating anything, to him Kento that’s a sign of someone with this trust and respect.

He wants an S/O that that he can have same interest in him, or share of his or theirs him. He ideal dates are staying at home baking and cooking together, going a farmers market, a walk in the part, going an museum. Just someone who can enjoy the little things in life.

Being Married or having  domesticated like with Nanami Kento.

Husband 👏  material👏. This man was the perfect husband or partner. This man will bring you home flowers. What the  occasion? Who cares,  anniversary  birthday, or no Goddamn reason at all this man is a gentleman and always wants to let you that he’s always thinking you.

He wants to have a healthy relationship with his s/o, Communication is key. Whether it’s the Office job or the sorcery job this man will reach to his s/o let know that he loves them and is always thinking about them.

Hi favorite nicknames for his s/o are: Darling, Angel, sweetheart, dear and love.

His personal favorite nicknames his s/o calls sweetie, sweetheart, and secretly Nanamin.

If is s/o is away on a mission overseas he will help them back, go over everything things that they need or and would check to make sure that have everything. He maybe fussy but he just cares. He know his s/o can take care of themselves, but the man can help worried. He dose hate the idea of something happening to them not being their to help. He feels somewhat guilty for not being with them. If his s/o calls or text will stop what he is doing and would talk to when. Asking if they are okay, are the eating well and getting plenty of sleep. After a few weeks or a few months when will come back safe and sound, when Kento and his s/o are alone he pull them into a tight hug. He thanks his stars that they back in his arms safe and sound, and will take care them.

And if he gets hunts in a mission, his dose same thing for them, and will take care him and bring him food when. Little acts that means a to Kento. Just letting him know that his s/o cares about his and will always there he needs them.

The man loves the little things in a relationship. Cooking together, laughing and talk smack about Satour, and just feel a bit normal. With the life as a shaman, he just wants to be normal and feel like his life a bit more meaning. But with a loving partner by his side and sees him for who he is, and loves everything about, this man has no regrets.

[anokaiwritingblog]

Oh hey. I forgot I have a writing blog. Here’s a WIP of my short story collection for my creative writing class. It’s a WIP for one of my major ideas I want to do.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…​

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of a JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked on to the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin in reception of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadow, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women look exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven girls, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the tree’s. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her sides, the woman could hear the reactions from the other girls who listen in to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, there were those who snickered from the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their story.

“Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

“Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin do this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with groups run by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be a main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game was out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at the situation. She decided to keep her thoughts hidden now as she surveys the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel down and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the girls, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the girl next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He made an attempt to take it, if only to escape, but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyways.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him were ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the girl next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backwards on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV. The more you knowミ★

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a door nail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl ┐(´-｀)┌

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peaking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he look like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity it her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilt her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombies movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other girls who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and obviously fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a braincell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause aa divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Dead weight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he is hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story which would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

[janeykath318]

Darcy and the Prince (Shieldshock)

“I’m going to be so happy when this is over and we can all get on with our lives,” grumbled Darcy, as she helped her friend into her very beautiful white wedding dress, fit for the princess Jane was about to become. Jane had met the Asgardian Prince Thor while visiting the country on a science quest (as Darcy referred to her research trips) and the two had, against all odds, fallen head over heels in love and became engaged a year later. Despite the meddlings, of Thor’s troublemaking brother Loki, they’d made it to the wedding day and Darcy was playing bridesmaid and generally trying to keep Jane from going full bridezilla. 

“Hmm, maybe you’ll be singing a different tune once you’ve met some of Thor’s friends,” Jane suggested, as she was buttoned up. “He knows a lot of attractive, single, people.”

Darcy rolled her eyes and grimaced as she worked on the last few buttons. 

“Ugh. NO, JANE. I do not need that drama in my life right now. I’m gonna finish my masters, then go globe-trotting and enjoy being single and free. Men are more trouble than they’re worth.”

“Sometimes I want to wring Ian’s neck for what he did to you,” Jane said vehemently. Darcy’s last boyfriend had turned out to be an utter cheating scum and she’d ended up with a broken heart, hence her general annoyance with men. 

“Thor and I got our revenge,” Darcy said, smiling at the memory. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust again. Don’t be sad, Janie. I’m super happy to have you and Thor and Eric as buddies. Now, let’s get finished so we can get you down that aisle!”

Before she knew it, Darcy was preceding Jane down the aisle and trying not to start bawling. She was a shameless wedding weeper and knew it would be even worse this time since it was her best friend getting married. 

As she blinked rapidly, she took a glance up front where a beaming Thor was standing, along with several other very striking, very well dressed men. She caught the eye of a gorgeous blonde decked out in full prince uniform and he smiled at her, which did funny things to her insides and it took all her self control to not stare at him through the whole ceremony. 

Of course, by the time the happy couple kissed and was announced as husband and wife, Darcy could barely see through her tears and just hoped she’d grabbed the right man’s arm to walk her back down the aisle. 

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled to her unknown escort. “I always weep an embarrassing amount at weddings and these dresses NEVER have pockets to stash tissues in.” 

“Nothing to be sorry for,” a very pleasant voice answered. “I admit, I shed some tears as well. Luckily, I always carry a back up handkerchief. Here.”

A soft cloth was pressed into her hand, and Darcy gratefully accepted it, finally managing to wipe the tears away. Vision cleared, she was able to see her helpful person and let out a gasp as she saw it was the gorgeous blonde princey dude. Up close, it was clear she’d grabbed the arm of Prince Steven, one of the most swooned over royalties to ever grace the papers. 

“Wow, thanks, your highness,” she said breathlessly. “I’m afraid this thing is ruined. It looks like my waterproof mascara is not actually waterproof.”

She held up the handkerchief, which was now smeared with black streaks. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Prince Steven said, pretty blue eyes crinkling in a smile. “Like I said, I’ve got extra.”

“You’re the best,” Darcy blurted, then turned red. “Ohmm….. I’m gonna go repair the damages before they start the pictures. Will you let Jane and Thor know where I’ve gone? It should only take a few minutes.”

“Sure,” the Prince said kindly. “And please, call me Steve.”

Darcy ventured to look back at him, and saw nothing but genuine friendliness in his kind eyes. She fell a bit in love right there.

“Nice to meet you…...Steve,” she managed, a tad shyly. “I’m Darcy, by the way.”

“Lewis?” he asked, recognition appearing in his expression.

“The very same,” she confirmed. “I take it Thor’s mentioned me?” 

“He sure has,” Steve answered. “He calls you his lightning sister and is frequently expounding on your wit, brains, and beauty. I’d have to agree with him. You are stunning.”

Darcy felt herself blush like a tomato. 

“You’re one to talk, Prince GQ,” she sassed, to cover up her internal freak out over his compliment. “Be right back!” 

With that she picked up her skirts and swished off to the restroom, leaving Steve looking after her with great amusement and interest. Darcy Lewis was a very strikingly lovely woman and the blue dress she was wearing greatly flattered her figure and emphasized her bright blue eyes. Thor had tried to set him up with her before, but Steve had stubbornly refused. Now that he’d met her, He thought he’d been an idiot. 

“Are you well, Darcy?” Thor inquired, when she had rejoined the others.

“Yeah. My mascara betrayed me and made me start looking like one of those goth rock stars,” she told him. “That’s the Last time I use THAT brand. Congratulations, by the way.”

She offered up hugs to the happy couple, before they were whisked away for pictures with the official royal photographer. 

Spotting Steve, she casually strolled over and watched a bit as he talked to a group of individuals, who must have been his friends, because he looked so much more relaxed and was laughing and smiling in a very jovial manner. He kept his public persona very buttoned up and stiff, so seeing him like this was utterly fascinating and Darcy was becoming more and more attracted every minute. She chatted with Bruce Banner for a little bit, then helped Jane manage her train in between shots. 

They were so cute together, it was almost sickening. Thor looked at Jane like she was his whole universe and Jane looked at Thor like he was the only man in existence. 

“I want to look at someone the way she looks at him,” Darcy murmured, half to herself, half to the blue and gold clad figure who had joined her. 

“Me too,” Steve agreed, sounding very wistful. 

“Shouldn’t be that hard for you, dude,” she pointed out. 

He chuckled ruefully, blushing a bit.

“I’ve discovered there’s a big difference between starstruck lust, and real love and I haven’t seemed to find the latter yet. Most of them aren’t interested in getting to know the real me at all.”

“That’s sad,” Darcy told him. “You seem like you’d be very interesting, once you get past the whole princely trappings and regal persona. Tell me, Steve, what makes you tick?”

Steve turned to look at her, and she felt like the blue eyes were piercing through her, searching for something. Whatever he saw, it must have eased his mind, because he took a deep breath and started talking.

“For one thing, I’m very passionate about using my position to do as much good as I can, not be just some stuffed shirt figurehead,” he told her. “I’m also very fond of the arts and am in the process of starting an art school for underprivileged kids. I’m hoping they’ll let me teach, because I love to draw and paint.”

“That’s awesome,” Darcy said warmly, giving him an approving nod.

“I also love dogs and help out at the shelters whenever I can.” He continued. “They’re so much more pleasant than dealing with parliament.” 

Darcy laughed at the distaste in his voice, but never got a chance to say anything else, because duty called. They shared a few looks across the room, and Steve shamelessly winked at her once when she pretended to strike a diva pose. 

They didn’t get close enough to actually talk again until the reception, when he sauntered up to Darcy as she was giggling at a ridiculous archery joke Clint had made. 

“Excuse me. Darcy, would you care for a dance?” He asked, holding out a white-gloved hand.

“Y-you’re asking me?” Darcy squeaked. 

“I don’t see any other Darcys around here, unless one of you has something to tell me,” Steve said dryly, squinting at Clint, Natasha, and Bruce, all of whom knew him. 

“Nope, not it,” Clint said, shaking his head.

“She’d love to,” Nastasha answered, giving Darcy a nudge forward.

“Yeah, I would, “ Darcy managed, taking the offered hand nervously.  Steve’s hand closed around hers and she felt a tingle up her spine.

She was in a dreamy daze as the prince expertly guided her around the floor. It was clear his princely education had included good dance technique and he was absolutely courtly about it. 

“Now, Darcy, it’s your turn to tell me what makes YOU tick,” he said after a few minutes of silently gazing at her. 

“Well, I live fueled by coffee and sarcasm, I majored in political science, and I’m not afraid to use my taser on creeps and jerks,” she told him proudly. “Also, I may have a thing for tall blonde princes.”

“Is that so?” He asked, a dangerously flirty tone in his voice.

“Yup,” she admitted. “Which is a little inconvenient seeing as how I’ve sworn off men.”

“That is too bad,” Steve agreed. “Any chance of possibly changing your mind?” 

“I’ll certainly let you try,” she told him, struggling to keep her mind from its fantasies about his magnificent broad shoulders and muscular arms. 

“Good,” Steve said, with another one of his stunning smiles. (If he kept doing that, there was no way she would be able to hold out long.)

“You look like you’re already planning your persuasive tactics,” she told him.

“Well, they don’t call me The Prince With A Plan for nothing,” Steve said, twirling Darcy around dramatically. Yeah, she was in SO much trouble. 

[bananaofswifts]

Taylor Swift Leaves Her Comfort Zones Behind on the Head-Spinning, Heartbreaking ‘Folklore’

Her eighth album is a radical detour into the deepest collection of songs she’s ever come up with.

So here we are again. The world was in the middle of the cruelest summer ever, just staggering through late July, when Taylor Swift decided to make it all so much messier — her specialty. In a move that nobody saw coming, she announced a surprise album on July 23rd, less than a year after her career-capping smash Lover. (A year to the day after she dropped “The Archer.”) Like the rest of us, Swift had to cancel her summer, including her LoverFest shows, which would have been next week. Instead, she spent the quarantine season throwing herself into a new secret project: her eighth album, Folklore. But the real surprise is the music itself — the most head-spinning, heart-breaking, emotionally ambitious songs of her life.

It’s a total goth-folk album, mostly acoustic guitar and piano, largely in collaboration with the National’s Aaron Dessner. No pop songs at all. It’s as far beyond Lover as Lover was beyond Reputation. She’s always relished her dramatic creative zigzags, but this is easily her most audacious move, full of story-telling depth she’s never come close to before. Some of us have spent years dreaming Taylor would do a whole album like this, but nobody really dreamed it would turn out this great. Her greatest album — so far.

Lover self-consciously summed up the first 30 years of her life, bringing all her musical passions together. But on Folklore, she leaves her comfort zones behind. It sounds like she figured she wasn’t going to be touring these songs live anyway, so she gave up on doing anything for the radio, anything rah-rah or stadium-friendly. She just made some coffee, sat at the piano, and let her mind wander into some dark places. You can picture the candle on her piano flickering as the wax melts over her copy of Wuthering Heights and another song rolls out.

Her sonic chemistry with Dessner is right in every detail; she also teams up with her longtime wingman Jack Antonoff and duets with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon on “Exile.” The vibe is close to “Safe and Sound,” the rootsy gem she did with the Civil Wars for The Hunger Games soundtrack in 2013. As she explains in her Prologue, “In isolation my imagination has run wild and this album is the result, a collection of songs and stories that flowed like a stream of consciousness. Picking up a pen was my way of escaping into fantasy, history, and memory.”

Folklore really feels like the debut album of a whole new Swift — her narrative scope has opened up, with a wide-ranging cast of characters, for seventeen songs without a dud. Yet you can still hear that this is the same songwriter who dropped “Last Kiss” on the world ten July-ninths ago. Here’s a Swift progress report on her quarantine: “I’ve been having a hard time adjusting/I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting/I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that.” The power of her mind.

It’s amusing in retrospect how people actually worried that being happy in love might mean Swift would run out of things to write songs about. Not a chance. It turns out to be the other way around, as she lets these characters tell their own stories: A scandalous old widow, hated by her whole town. A scared seven-year-old girl with a traumatized best friend. A ghost watching her enemies at the funeral. Recovering addicts. A fumbling teenage boy. Three of the highlights — “Cardigan,” “August,” and “Betty” — depict the same love triangle, from all three different perspectives. Other songs tell both sides of a story: “The 1” and “Peace,” or “Invisible String” and “The Lakes.”

Folklore hits overdrive halfway through, when it reaches a trilogy of heavy hitters. “August,” the album’s most plainly beautiful ballad, is a summer romance gone wrong: “I can see us tangled in bed sheets/August slipped away like a bottle of wine/Because you were never mine.” “This Is Me Trying” is the disturbingly witty tale of someone pouring her heart out, to keep herself from pouring more whiskey. “Illicit Affairs” is another tale of infidelity: “Take the words for what they are/A dwindling mercurial high/A drug that only worked the first few hundred times.” The tension explodes when she sings, “Don’t call me kid/Don’t call me baby/Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me.”

It’s going to take weeks if not decades to puzzle out all the intricately inter-woven narrative details of these songs. “Mirrorball” is about the same nervous dance-floor poseur of “New Romantics,” six years later, except tonight she feels like the disco ball that reflects everyone’s most desperate insecurities. “Mad Woman” expands on the familiar topic of witch hunts, but it also sharpens the feminist rage of “The Man.” “The Last Great American Dynasty” satirizes the upper-crust milieu of “Starlight” when she sings, “There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen/I had a marvelous time ruining everything.” (Taylor uses the word “marvelous” twice in her career, and both time it’s songs about the Kennedys? No detail is too tiny for her to plan eight years in advance.)

“Betty” is a first — she sings in the voice of the 17-year-old boy in a Taylor Swift song, reckoning with the fickle behavior detailed by the girls in “Cardigan” and “August.” It takes off from the harmonica solo in Springsteen’s “Thunder Road” — which feels appropriate for the only tale on the album where she goes back to high school. “The Lakes” is a bonus track for vinyl, CD and (what a flex) cassette, but it’s a must-hear: Taylor walks in the footsteps of William Wordsworth, the Romantic poet who essentially invented the kind of introspective writing she does, wandering the Windermere Peaks of the Lake District.

Remember when she was threatening to spend this year re-recording all her old albums? She does the opposite here — she refuses to repeat her most reliable tricks. So many of the world’s favorite Swiftian trademarks are missing. No country moves, no synth pop, no first dates, no “Taylor visits a city” song, not even a laugh. The references to fame are few and far between, although they’re tasty when they do show up, as in “Invisible String”: “Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A.” She can’t resist adding: “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind/For the boys who broke my heart/Now I send their babies presents.” Touché.

If Lover was the last album of her twenties, Folklore is the first of her thirties. Lover was styled as a well-rounded musical autobiography, with everything from Nashville twang to electro-disco. Folklore takes a completely different approach, yet feels even more intimate, simply because it’s the sound of an artist with absolutely nothing to prove. She’s never sounded this relaxed or confident, never sounded this blasé about winning anyone over. It makes perfect sense that the quarantine brought out her best, since she’s always written so poignantly about isolation and the temptation to dream too hard about other people’s far-away lives. (“Last Kiss” is usually a summer favorite, but this year, “hope it’s nice where you are” feels a little too close to the bone.) On Folklore, she dreams up a host of characters to keep her company, and stepping into their lives brings out her deepest wit, compassion, and empathy. And it sounds like for Taylor Swift, her best is yet to come.

[ts1989fanatic]

Taylor Swift Leaves Her Comfort Zones Behind on the Head-Spinning, Heartbreaking ‘Folklore’

Her eighth album is a radical detour into the deepest collection of songs she’s ever come up with

So here we are again. The world was in the middle of the cruelest summer ever, just staggering through late July, when Taylor Swift decided to make it all so much messier — her specialty. In a move that nobody saw coming, she announced a surprise album on July 23rd, less than a year after her career-capping smash Lover. (A year to the day after she dropped “The Archer.”) Like the rest of us, Swift had to cancel her summer, including her LoverFest shows, which would have been next week. Instead, she spent the quarantine season throwing herself into a new, secret project: her eighth album, Folklore. But the real surprise is the music itself — the most head-spinning, heartbreaking, emotionally ambitious songs of her life.

It’s a total goth-folk album, mostly acoustic guitar and piano, largely in collaboration with the National’s Aaron Dessner. No pop songs at all. It’s as far beyond Lover as Lover was beyond Reputation. She’s always relished her dramatic creative zigzags, but this is easily her most audacious move, full of story-telling depth she’s never come close to before. Some of us have spent years dreaming Taylor would do a whole album like this, but nobody really dreamed it would turn out this great. Her greatest album — so far.

Lover self-consciously summed up the first 30 years of her life, bringing all her musical passions together. But on Folklore, she leaves her comfort zones behind. It sounds like she figured she wasn’t going to be touring these songs live anyway, so she gave up on doing anything for the radio, anything rah-rah or stadium-friendly. She just made some coffee, sat at the piano, and let her mind wander into some dark places. You can picture the candle on her piano flickering as the wax melts over her copy of Wuthering Heights and another song rolls out.

Her sonic chemistry with Dessner is right in every detail; she also teams up with her longtime wingman Jack Antonoff, and duets with Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon on “Exile.” The vibe is close to “Safe and Sound,” the rootsy gem she did with the Civil Wars for The Hunger Games soundtrack in 2013. As she explains in her Prologue, “In isolation my imagination has run wild and this album is the result, a collection of songs and stories that flowed like a stream of consciousness. Picking up a pen was my way of escaping into fantasy, history, and memory.”

Folklore really feels like the debut album of a whole new Swift — her narrative scope has opened up, with a wide-ranging cast of characters for 17 songs, without a dud. Yet you can still hear that this is the same songwriter who dropped “Last Kiss” on the world 10 July-9ths ago. Here’s a Swift progress report on her quarantine: “I’ve been having a hard time adjusting/I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting/I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that.” The power of her mind.

It’s amusing, in retrospect, how people actually worried that being happy in love might mean Swift would run out of things to write songs about. Not a chance. It turns out to be the other way around, as she lets these characters tell their own stories: A scandalous old widow, hated by her whole town. A scared seven-year-old girl with a traumatized best friend. A ghost watching her enemies at the funeral. Recovering addicts. A fumbling teenage boy. Three of the highlights — “Cardigan,” “August,” and “Betty” — depict the same love triangle, from all three different perspectives. Other songs tell both sides of a story: “The 1” and “Peace,” or “Invisible String” and “The Lakes.”

Folklore hits overdrive halfway through, when it reaches a trilogy of heavy hitters. “August,” the album’s most plainly beautiful ballad, is a summer romance gone wrong: “I can see us tangled in bedsheets/August slipped away like a bottle of wine/Because you were never mine.” “This Is Me Trying” is the disturbingly witty tale of someone pouring her heart out, to keep herself from pouring more whiskey. “Illicit Affairs” is another tale of infidelity: “Take the words for what they are/A dwindling mercurial high/A drug that only worked the first few hundred times.” The tension explodes when she sings, “Don’t call me kid/Don’t call me baby/Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me.”

It’s going to take weeks if not decades to puzzle out all the intricately interwoven narrative details of these songs. “Mirrorball” is about the same nervous dance-floor poseur of “New Romantics,” six years later, except tonight she feels like the disco ball that reflects everyone’s most desperate insecurities. “Mad Woman” expands on the familiar topic of witch hunts, but it also sharpens the feminist rage of “The Man.” “The Last Great American Dynasty” satirizes the upper-crust milieu of “Starlight” when she sings, “There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen/I had a marvelous time ruining everything.” (Taylor uses the word “marvelous” twice in her career, and both times it’s in songs about the Kennedys? No detail is too tiny for her to plan eight years in advance.)

“Betty” is a first — she sings in the voice of the 17-year-old boy in a Taylor Swift song, reckoning with the fickle behavior detailed by the girls in “Cardigan” and “August.” It takes off from the harmonica solo in Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road” — which feels appropriate for the only tale on the album where she goes back to high school. “The Lakes” is a bonus track for vinyl, CD, and (what a flex) cassette, but it’s a must-hear: Taylor walks in the footsteps of William Wordsworth, the Romantic poet who essentially invented the kind of introspective writing she does, wandering the Windermere Peaks of the Lake District.

Remember when she was threatening to spend this year rerecording all her old albums? She does the opposite here — she refuses to repeat her most reliable tricks. So many of the world’s favorite Swift-ian trademarks are missing. No country moves, no synth pop, no first dates, no “Taylor visits a city” song, not even a laugh. The references to fame are few and far between, although they’re tasty when they do show up, as in “Invisible String”: “Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to L.A.” She can’t resist adding: “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind/For the boys who broke my heart/Now I send their babies presents.” Touché.

If Lover was the last album of her twenties, Folklore is the first of her thirties. Lover was styled as a well-rounded musical autobiography, with everything from Nashville twang to electro-disco. Folklore takes a completely different approach, yet feels even more intimate, simply because it’s the sound of an artist with absolutely nothing to prove. She’s never sounded this relaxed or confident, never sounded this blasé about winning anyone over. It makes perfect sense that the quarantine brought out her best, since she’s always written so poignantly about isolation and the temptation to dream too hard about other people’s far-away lives. (“Last Kiss” is usually a summer favorite, but this year, “Hope it’s nice where you are” feels a little too close to the bone.) On Folklore, she dreams up a host of characters to keep her company, and stepping into their lives brings out her deepest wit, compassion, and empathy. And it sounds like for Taylor Swift, her best is yet to come.

[surveyhoursss]

98.

Prep

I shop at Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle, or Aerospatiale.

I am/was a cheerleader.

I'm pretty ditzy.

I wear pink 24/7.

My looks are very important to me.

I can't live without my cell phone.

My hair is always straight.

I say 'like' and 'omigod' a lot.

I laugh 24/7.

I have a million friends.

I always hang at the mall or movies.

I'll only date popular guys.

I listen to rap & pop music.

I have at least one designer bag.

My myspace pics are of me making a kissy face or are mirror pics

It takes me at least an hour to get ready for school in the mornings.

Uggs + Miniskirts = Love

I don't have a job

I wear lots of makeup. (wouldn’t call it lots, though)

I can be stuck up or snobby sometimes.

I flirt with any guy, as long as he's cute.

Total = 5

EMO

I cry a lot.

I go to local shows.

I wear black everyday (typically I always have something black on)

I write sad poetry.

I play an acoustic guitar.

My favorite bands include: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, or Panic! at the Disco.

I think about suicide or death often.

People have told me to cheer up.

I cry when I see dead animals.

My myspace/Facebook pics are black or white or angled.

I wear many band shirts.

No one understands me.

I don't talk too often.

I look down when I walk.

I wear black eyeliner.

I have an ex I still cry over.

My hair is black

My hair covers one of my eyes.

I always say 'life sucks'.

Total: 4

NERD

I have straight A's.

I wear glasses.

I always do my homework and study.

Lord of the Rings was a massive achievement.

Computer games.

I'm 'teachers pet'.

I've never had a real boyfriend/girlfriend.

I have a bedtime.

I use an asthma inhaler.

I carry a calculator with me.

I bring my lunch to school.

I always follow the rules.

I'm shy around the opposite sex.

I'm always on the computer.

I've never had beer or cigarettes.

I always answer every question in class right.

I correct people's grammar.

I read a lot.

School is very important to me.

I always stump people.

Total: 8

REBEL

I always speak my mind.

I have 0% of school spirit.

F*ck you, I won't do what you tell me!

I stand up for what I think is right.

On spirit days at school, I wear the rival's colors.

Whenever people are doing something, I do the complete opposite.

I won't listen to authority figures.

I always break the rules.

I refuse to compromise.

I'm always arguing with people.

I love debate.

I always do what's unexpected of me.

I don't give a sh*t what people think of me.

If I watch a cruddy movie in theaters, right after it's over, I'll say 'that sucked'.

I'm not afraid to contradict others.

I only respect my own beliefs.

If I don't want to do something, I won't do it, no matter what.

I laugh at compromising people.

I cheer on the rival's sport team to stand out.

Rules were meant to be broken.

Total: 1

JOCK

I'm on one or more sport teams.

I always wear my varsity jacket.

I've won awards for my athletic ability.

I will only date popular girls/guys.

School Spirit

I'm going to a college for sports

I watch sports on TV all the time

I'm muscular.

I play sports or exercise at least 3 hours a day.

Go Team!

I'm a chick/dude magnet.

I eat a lot.

I'm egotistical.

I'm too focused on sports to make really good grades.

I sit at the jock lunch table.

All I talk about with my friends is sports.

I go to lots of sports games.

I'm very athletic

I wear sport inspired clothing.

play at least 3 different sports.

Total: 4

COMEDIAN

I'm funny.

I'm always making jokes.

I interrupt class by making people laugh.

I like to entertain people.

I worship Kevin Smith.

I watch comedies more than anything.

I also watch SNL and Mad TV a lot

I'm sarcastic.

I've been told I'm hilarious.

I always imitate people.

I pull lots of pranks.

I always make sarcastic remarks after everything.

I have to prove myself by being funny.

People expect me to make jokes, always.

I have a lot of pressure to make everyone laugh.

If I don't make jokes, people ask me what's wrong.

Jim Carrey is my idol.

I mostly get along with everybody.

At pep rallies, I'm the one acting crazy and silly.

My teachers or parents tell me I need to focus more on work and less on joking around.

Total: 3

SHY

I don't have a lot of friends.

I don't talk too much.

It's not that I'm snobby, I just get nervous when talking to people.

When people say my name, others say 'who?'

I'm pretty sure mostly no one knows who I am.

People have told me I need to talk more.

I only talk when other people talk to me first

I look down when I walk.

I avoid social gatherings, such as games, dances, or parties.

People have tried to help me be more outgoing, but it never works.

I always plan to talk to more people, but I never do.

I sit in the back of the classroom.

I never participate in class discussions.

I hide behind people to avoid being seen sometimes.

I could never be a cashier, talking to strangers.

I talk quietly.

People have called me shy or quiet.

I usually let others decide for me.

If someone is talking about my favorite book or movie in front of me, I don't join in the conversation.

Total: 12

GOTHIC

I wear black.

I don't like to be seen.

I'm very, very pale.

I only listen to metal or emo-ish music. (neither of these is goth, mallgoths XD)

I love creepy, weird movies.

I love gothic cartoons and drawings.

I don't like people.

I only go out during the night.

I have black fingernails.

I wear a long black coat.

I also wear big black boots.

'The Crow' is one of my favorite movies.

I only date other Goths.

I love black humor.

I love pain.

People think I'm crazy.

I don't talk to anyone who isn't as deep as me.

I love to scare people

I laugh at teenyboppers.

People are scared of me.

Total: 3

WEIRDO

I talk to myself.

I say really random things all the time/have to say it out loud.

I fidget a lot.

I still use a wheeled backpack.

People laugh at me.

I walk really funny.

I have a very different sense of style.

I talk in a robot voice often.

I'll stop whatever I'm doing, and break out in a crazy dance if the mood strikes.

I debate stuff with myself.

I hear voices.

I'm obsessed with aliens and the other planets.

I have a fascination with robots and machinery.

I use really big words no one understands, and they give me weird looks.

I say random lines of babbling that make sense to no one but me.

I dart my eyes from side to side.

I always pretend I'm a robot or other weird non-human thing.

People have no idea why I think the way I do.

I have some very unusual, extraordinary talents.

When people ask me if I like something that's trendy, I pretend to be scared or confused.

Total: 3

ANTISOCIAL

I hate/dislike most people.

I prefer to be alone.

When people talk to me, I just give them a death glare.

Actually, most people don't talk to me.

People are freaking idiots and I wish they'd all die.

I live in my room, writing in my diary. On the computer...

I go out my way to avoid everyone.

I never greet anyone.

I despise people who talk too loudly.

I want people to think I'm a freak.

I never talk.

I can't wait to get off this earth.

I always sit by myself at lunch or anywhere else.

I listen to music on full blast on my ipod/mp4 player/headphones to block out the world.

I don't know why I am the way I am.

People have said I'm antisocial.

I use drugs or alcohol to escape the loneliness.

Why bother when people don't like you anyways?

I occupy myself so it won't look like I'm a loner.

I just don't get along with anyone.

Total: 1

SKATER

I skateboard to everywhere.

If I'm not skateboarding, I carry it with me.

I shop at Pacsun.

I'm obsessed with Tony Hawk.

Oh yeah, and Bam Margera.

I always play skateboarding video games.

I have shaggy hair.

I wear baggy pants.

I wear only skater shoes.

I always wear hoodies. (well, much of the time)

I hang at skate parks 24/7.

I'm always learning new board tricks.

Forget school, I want to be a professional skateboarder.

I've been skateboarding for over 4 years.

I hang with other skaters.

I've been hurt while skateboarding.

I've been in a skateboarding competition.

I wear vans.

Tony Hawks games win.

I've met some of my closest friends at skate parks.

Total: 0

GANGSTER/HOOD

I say 'yo'.

I also say 'fo shizzle'.

I wear extremely baggy pants.

Mah chainz hang low.

I hang with my homies, biotches, and Hoe's

I'm a thug.

I only listen to rap music.

50 Cent is my idol.

I don't give a frick about school.

I steal/have stolen before (as a child lol)

I freestyle.

I breakdance.

Gold chainz is tha way to go, biotch.

I'm white but I act black.

All my heroes are dead rappers.

Tupac is still alive.

I party with all my nigs.

I wear a sideways baseball cap.

I wear hoodies.

I wear converse with the tongue flipped out.

Total: 2

BULLY

I always steal people's lunch money.

Geeks are afraid of me.

I get in trouble all the time.

I steal people's stuff to be an a**hole.

People have called me a bully.

I have beat someone up before.

I'm always looking for a fight.

I pick on people smaller than me.

I push people out of the way when I'm walking.

I've never been in a relationship before.

People are afraid of me.

People know not to mess with me.

I'm taller than most people my age.

I pick on people for the fun of it.

I make fun of everything anyone else likes.

If anyone crosses my path, they're dead.

People know not to try and stick up for themselves when I'm around.

I'm one of the strongest kids in school.

Even some authority figures are afraid of me.

People get out of my way when I'm walking.

Total: 0

GAMER

I own at least 2 different video game consoles.

I love Final Fantasy.

DDR & Guitar Hero

I've missed school before because I was trying to beat a video game.

I'm always trying to beat high scores on games.

I even play a lot of computer games.

I play at least 3 hours of video games a day.

My thumbs are sore often.

I spend all my money on new video games.

My boyfriend/girlfriend has to be into video games.

All I talk about is video games.

I've been in a video game competition before

I pay over 30$ a month in online games.

I have bought more than 5 accessories for my console

I know about more than 10 cheats and mods in the game I play most.

I have played at least a complete week in the game I like most.

I wouldn't know what to do in an afternoon without electricity.

My parents often tell the internet is broken or simply disconnect it so I don't spend whole weekends and holidays playing.

I have more than one online account on the same game.

Total: 2

GIRLY

I have long hair.

I wear make up every day.

I carry a purse.

I have to get someone else to come kill a spider.

I paint my nails.

I use perfume.

I keep my nails clean/shaped

I shower regularly

I used to or still do Dance, Gymnastics, or Cheer/Pom

I like to accessorize

I like flowers.

I don't like to be outdoors.

I'm more like my mother than my father.

I like hanging out with girls than boys.

I like going to the mall/shopping.

I watch my weight/ count calories.

I plan outfits ahead of time

People say I have a soft/sweet voice.

I dream about and am already planning my wedding day

I watch dramatic shows on tv, soap operas, reality TV, etc.

Total: 9

BOYISH

I have short hair.

I hate doing laundry.

I like war type video games.

I like playing or watching sports.

People say I have a deep voice.

I'm more like my dad than my mom.

I beat up or tease my younger siblings or friends.

I act tough, it doesn't matter what's going on inside me.

There's only two emotions.

I shower only when I start to notice I stink

I think about the opposite sex a lot.

My room isn't neat.

I bite my nails instead of using scissors/clippers.

My clothes don't match sometimes, but I don't notice or care

I like to play rough with dogs.

I like the movies 300, Transformers, The Dark Knight.

The best way to get the opposite sex to like you is to act like a jerk.

I don't read

I don't ask for help even if I need it.

Total: 3

scored highest on: Shy lmao

[kindred-is-obsessed]

Reasons you should be watching Craig of the Creek

Not enough people are watching this wonderful show, so I thought I’d do my best to introduce people to it. It’s made by former Steven Universe crew Ben Levin and Matt Burnett, so if you’re missing Steven Universe while it’s on hiatus this is a great way to keep away the hiatus blues, or if you just enjoy in cartoons. It’s great for a whole list of reasons, which broadly fall into the two categories of great representation and great storytelling:

Canonical queer representation

-       The witches premiere in the episode The Curse. If you aren’t sure if you want to watch this whole show definitely watch this one at least! It’s my absolute favourite not least of all because it’s about teen goth girls in love. It has a sequel The Last Kid in The Creek which is also wonderful, and the witches cameo throughout the series. I don’t want to spoil too much but The Curse is essentially about the two not wanting to be separated and struggling to admit their feelings for each other. (Spoilers: they do and walk off alone, blushing, staring at each other lovingly, while the kids aww at them)

-       Bernard and his girlfriend watch a cooking show hosted by a gay couple.

-       Other cameos, hints and coded queer kids such as JP’s sister (who has fancy dinner reservations with Kat, a woman with a shaved head who compliments Kelsey’s fake sword). There’s also Raj and Shaun (two very close friends), as well as several very boyish tomboys, including Handlebarb and Turner.

-       All public bathrooms I’ve spotted in the show have gender neutral signs on them which is nice.

POC representation

-       Craig, the main character, is black and has a loving family explored in depth, including an activist grandmother working for the council, a wise and fun grandfather, a supportive fun dad who loves his amazing wife, an adorable assertive little sister, and an angsty overachieving older brother who just wants to be a good grownup who loves his family and girlfriend.  

-       There are MANY characters of colour. There are black and brown characters, Raj is Indian, Stacks is Hispanic (and it’s implied she is an immigrant), there are several Asian characters, Kelsey is Hungarian and Jewish, a persistent background character wears a hijab (I’m pretty sure she was named at some point but I can’t find her name anywhere. She definitely has lines at one point). I’m sure there are others I have missed. No one is a stereotype as far as I am aware.

Subtle neurodivergent representation

-       JP is possibly on the autism spectrum. I’d love neurodivergent people’s opinions on this, but while the representation isn’t canonical or obvious I think it’s good that while JP is represented as having different thought processes from his friends, he isn’t made fun of for it, at least not by them. It’s noteworthy I think that he’s the eldest of the core trio, probably because he finds it easier to relate to younger people who still share his imagination and care less about his unique way of thinking. His neurodivergence is explored most explicitly in the episode Jextra Perrestrial, so if you’re interested in this kind of representation definitely check that episode out.

Non-nuclear family representation

-       While the main character is a member of the typical nuclear family you see on TV (except black, and actually interesting) most of the other families we see are not.

-       JP is raised by his mother and older sister. His father is never mentioned and their house is definitely in worse condition than the others we see. His family works hard to take care of each other. His sister is a nurse and both her and her mother are away a lot of the time, but they both love JP very much. JP’s sister also happens to be really openly body positive. I love them a lot.

-       Kelsey’s father is an only parent. There’s still a lot of mystery surrounding how Kelsey’s mother passed away. It’s a very subtle but important part of Kelsey’s character and comes through in really bittersweet adorable ways (not limited to Kelsey using her “half-orphan”ness to guilt trip a man into giving her money)

-       Other kinds of families are scattered throughout the show, including families that move around a lot, a home-school kid with a strict mother, and more.

Unique approach to fantasy and sci-fi

-       You know how most kids show will take a kid’s fantasy and bring it to reality? Well Craig of the Creek keeps the fantastical and nostalgic element of that line of thinking but never confirms or denies whether the kids fantasies are real or in their heads. And not in a Scooby Doo way where the fantastical elements are explained away, but are hinted as a possibility right at the very end. Instead, two perspectives (the fantastical perspective and the realistic perspective) are woven into every episode.

-       This means there are two ways to interpret every episode. You can view the witches as real witches, or as goth teenagers. You can view Helen as a kid from another dimension, or a home-school kid who is never at the creek at the same time as the other kids. You can view Deltron as a cyborg from the future, or as an imaginative kid from a big city.

-       This is super unique and fun to watch. They come up with so many new ideas and its always fun to figure out what’s actually happening, while still getting to relive childhood fantastical nostalgia.

-       Almost all of these episodes use this to talk about an issue, but these issues can get quite complex and are definitely not shoved down your throat.

Overarching mystery plot about a colonialist kingdom / cult

-       Love the slow burn storytelling of Steven Universe’s Diamond Authority? Love putting together the mysteries of Gravity Falls? Then you’ll love this plot about colonialism, classism, bullying, peer pressure and more and its mysterious build up including cryptic graffiti art and flower symbolism.

-       Even before this arc properly begins, Craig of The Creek primarily centers around the microcosm of the Creek. Many of the episodes have a lot of commentary on society, politics and how different factions of people form and interact.

-       The show is over 50 episodes in and this arc is only just starting to kick off so now is the time to catch up and watch.

-       Fun complex villain(s)

Complex relatable characters

-       Want commentary and nostalgia about horse girls, children’s tea parties, weird kids, angsty teens, young weebs, dweebs and more!? Every childhood obsession is represented in this show.

-       Adults! All the parents and older teens in this show are just as rich and complex as the kids. They are all so interesting and fun.  

-       Want characters with arcs, aims, fun relationships and complexity!? Look no further! Redemption arcs! Revelations! Found family! It’s all here!

Great art and soundtrack

-       Cute background and character designs that make you nostalgic as hell and are also beautiful and well thought out.

-       Sometimes the art design is changed up for a particular episode to portray a certain fantastical / sci fi element. It’s very fun and engaging. 

-       An opening song that’s fun to sing along to, bittersweet ending song that makes me want to cry, a couple of musical episodes including a super fun rap musical episode, and a great OST

Queer headcanons

-       There are tons of ways to interpret the show but here’s some of my head canons just to get an idea.

-       (Note that despite my headcanons I use the pronouns for the kids that they use in the show cause I’m not certain about any of it and they’re kids who haven’t come out yet and also for clarity and consistency’s sake – I’m not saying trans people are not their genders. Don’t worry I’m nonbinary)

-       I headcanon that all the main trio grow up to realise they are queer. They strike me as that weird group of friends that doesn’t fit in with the other kids and aren’t quite sure how they all came to be friends, only to later realise they all showed early signs of breaking gender roles and that’s why they stuck together.

-       Craig definitely grows up to realise he’s gay, bisexual or queer. His admiration for characters like Deltron and Green Poncho are definitely crushes that he mistakes for a strong sudden and eager desire for friendship.

-       Kelsey probably grows up to realise she is nonbinary, a trans boy or a WLW. I mostly headcanon this because I relate to her a lot and I’m nonbinary and queer so I said so. She reminds me a lot of myself as a kid. She throws herself into books, mostly fantasy for escapism. She fantasises and writes a lot for the same reasons. She dresses like a tomboy (She always wears her hair up in the same bun which strongly reminds me of my own childhood hair dysphoria) and she hangs out solely with male friends.

-       JP gives me strong trans lesbian vibes, or to a lesser extent nonbinary vibes. (I know his sister is WLW coded but take it from me there can be more than one queer in a family). He is interested in girls, specifically Maney the horse girl (he even joined the horse girls for one episode). He wears a long V-neck shirt that is essentially a dress ALL the time. He’s aware that he’s different and while self conscious sometimes, mostly just wants to express himself the way he wants to. He also chooses to go by initials JP over his very gendered name Johnathan Paul (In a recent episode he names a ship after himself, calling it “The SS Johnathon Paulina”).

-       (Sidenote if you do start watching this show and I see any nasty shipping of these characters in non puppy-love fashion so help me god)

 Other reasons

-       The show is at times very intertextual and references Princess Mononoke, Super Smash Brothers, Sailor Moon, Lord of the Rings, and a billion other things. It also has some fun cameos, including background images of the Tres Horny Boys from The Adventure Zone, a TARDIS from Doctor Who, and a Cookie Cat from Steven Universe.

-       Honestly, this post hasn’t done the best job explaining why I love this show so much. You honestly just have to watch an episode to understand fully what I’m talking about, so give it a go! Watch The Curse at least, it only goes for 10 minutes.

[progressivestupidity]

IZ week 2020

so i wasn’t gonna do this because I didn’t think the prompts were very good for writing to, but I remembered the last day’s prompt was “role swap” so I decided to do something small and quick for it. this is all 7 days in one post. the first and last ones are drabbles and one of them is an au idea

@invader-zim-week​ here u go!!!

Day 1. Angst or Fluff 

Zim’s denial skills are god tier, but even they have their limits.

Drabble. I think this is the turning point for my eventual found family au

“When are you going to get it through your thick head that the Tallests aren’t coming?” Dib flings his arms out wide in his exasperation

“They’re just…!” Zim fumbles a bit, clenching and unclenching his fists. “The Armada is a million light years away! It takes time to travel that far, obviously. It took me six of your months to get here from Conventia and the Massive is further away from here now than that. They’ll come! You’ll see! And then you’ll be sorry!” Zim’s face is drawn tight. He’s tense all over, shoulders drawn up to his jaw, antennae pressed flat to his head, and normally Dib prides himself on reading Zim like an open book, but he’s too far gone in his own annoyance to see the warning signs.

It’s because he doesn’t see these red flags that Dib proceeds to stick his own foot in his mouth with his next words. “Maybe if you weren’t such an idiot and opened your eyes, you’d see the truth—that they dumped you here to get rid of you.”

“YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT?” Zim explodes, planting his tiny hands in Dib’s chest and shoving. The boy lands painfully on his ass. “I’m not stupid, Dib.” His name is spat like an insult. “I know they don’t care about me! Why do you think I try so hard?”

Dib gapes at Zim, looking up at him for once, stunned into silence. “I.” He swallows. “You know?”

“Of course, I know.” Zim’s voice is a low hiss and his eyes are narrowed to slits. “You don’t get banished and then just get over it. You don’t get put on trial to defend your life, forced to relive your worse mistakes, and get sentenced to death, only to be saved by freak miracle, and never acknowledge it happened.” Zim takes a deep breath and crosses his arms over his chest. Dib supposes he means for it to look intimidating, but it looks more like he’s holding himself together. “I’ve always known.”

“Why do you try so hard then? If you’ve always known there was no point?” Dib has to ask, has to know, has to hear the words from Zim’s own mouth.

Zim purses his lips and turns away. “There was always a point.” He falls silent for a moment, one antenna twitching up a bit in thought. “I just… I thought if I was just a little better, if I accomplished something important for once, that… I don’t know, that maybe I’d.” He pauses and grits his teeth. “Maybe if I actually managed to take over this filthy planet I’d be worth something for once.”

Day 2. Be Gay Do Crime (LGBTQA+ headcannons)

Dib is bi/pan/demi-ro, Gaz is lesbian, Zim is ace/demi-ro

Headcanons.

Dib seems like the kind of guy that would both take whatever kind of relationship he could get, but also appreciate it. Dib isn’t afraid to work for what he wants and isn’t afraid of things that are “not normal” so I see him being the type to not care about the gender of whoever he eventually decides to date. However, because Dib’s been burned in the past, he would need a deep and sincere emotional relationship to see someone as a potential romantic partner.

Gaz is just a big lesbian. Girls, man.

Zim is ace all the way baby!!! He’s just not interested, and sure, part of that is me projecting, but it just feels right for Zim to just… not care. He has no interest and doesn’t care for sexual attraction regardless of whether or not Irkens do/can/will have sex or not. On the other hand, Zim has expressed a softer side before and I can see him being able to maybe eventually develop romantic feelings for someone if he actually manages to get close enough to them for those kinds of feelings to even emerge. It would take a lot of time and a deep, meaningful friendship, but Zim has shown he’s capable of love. He just has to let himself feel it.

  Day 3. Fandom Appreciation

Found family fuck yeah

Headcanons.

I’m still in the process of thinking about how I wanna go about my found family au so here’s just some initial ideas

After ETF, Zim self isolates for a bit. The florpus hole was his Last Ditch Effort plan and had it succeeded, he knew he would have been destroyed too. He was okay with it. He had made peace with it. However, it failed, and now he’s forced to reflect on said failure

The Massive doesn’t escape the florpus. They’re gone, completely. If they the ship does manage to get out, it’s not in one piece

I initially couldn’t decide if The Trial should come Before ETF or After but I think im gonna say before so the Massive doesn’t have to come back lmao

Before too long, Zim jumps back into the planning/scheming swing of things, but his ideas are never more than petty crimes and being a huge annoyance

Dib gets really annoyed with him and they have a big argument

Zim finally admits to knowing of his own Defectiveness

Dib reluctantly feels bad for him and backs off a bit to let Zim have his space

Zim, however, sees this as a betrayal and redoubles his efforts to get his attention

Somewhere along the way, Skoodge comes back and Zim backs off of Dib a bit, having someone else to focus attention on

Dib eventually begins to offer Zim his hand in friendship (phrased as a truce at first) and they finally make steps towards getting along

They realize they actually really like being friends

Zim eventually realizes that he’s made a life for himself, outside of the Empire

Eventually Zim, Skoodge, GIR, Minimoose, Dib, and Gaz form their own little family and explore space and hunt cryptids

(I love cryptid hunter and space exploration aus holy shit)

Day 4. If IZ had a different setting/time period

Cyberpunk??? Sure

Potential idea maybe.

Cyberpunk dystopian future

Aliens and humans intermingle, both on and off Earth

The Irken Empire has gotten bigger

Technology is advanced and cybernetics are widely known/produced

Idk man I don’t know a lot about cyberpunk, maybe this should be more for the aesthetic

Day 5. Aesthetic

Big shrug man idk

Headcanons, thoughts.

I’m a big fan of fashion Zim, and whenever I get the chance I give him clothes that are both cute and comfortable

Galaxy print leggings are a personal favorite of mine to give him

One time I wrote a little ficlet/oneshot where he wore a skirt. I should publish that some day

Uhhhhhh okay so. Dib has veeeeeery big early 2000s emo/punk vibes tbh

Scene kid GIR always makes me laugh

Gaz could pull off pastel goth like no one’s business

I’ve been here long enough to witness emo/scene hair wig Zim and his eventual fall lmfao

Pretty much everyone that redesigned them back in the day gave Zim emo kid hair that fall perfectly over one eye it was WILD

 Day 6. What if IZ was a different Genre?

Uhhhh does “fantasy instead of scifi” count?

Potential idea maybe. (oops it ended up being a fantasy/modern magic au haha ooooops)

Instead of being an alien, I had the idea of, maybeeeeee Irkens are like. Elves maybe, or perhaps some kind of fae. (I don’t know much about fae, oops)

Okay bear with me here, this is all coming together in real time.

The Irkens (which is what I’m gonna call their clan or faction or subrace or whatever) still want to be the rulers or something over the humans/other mystical beings. This world of magic is hidden from humans and they live blissfully unaware. There are invaders all over the place, using magic and glamors to trick humans into thinking they’re also humans. Zim is one such invader and just to happens to end up in Dib’s town, whereupon he enrolls in Dib’s school, pretending to be a transfer student.

I have no idea why or how the Irkens invade or what methods they use, but since my biggest experience with elves is through DND, I’m going to say they’re functionally similar to certain DND elf races.

So anyway, Zim ends up in Dib’s class and Zim’s glamor just Doesn’t Work on Dib for whatever reason (maybe Dib passed his Wisdom saving throw while literally everyone else failed, idk) and so Dib can immediately see Zim for what he is.

Dib is still into paranormal type stuff, though in his world, he’s less about cryptids and aliens and more about the magical species/world(s) that he KNOWS exists. His big goal in his au is similar to canon in that he wants to expose it all for recognition and love from his father.

Zim, meanwhile, he just wants to prove himself, just like canon. I can’t decide how I want the Irken hierarchy to go in this au—that’s something to think about later, when I have more time—but whatever it is, Zim is either a) not very good at it, b) not suited for it, c) ridiculed for not fitting in to it, or d) a combination of any or all of these things. (or secret option e) he rejects it but has no where else to go. On the other hand, it maybe be none of these things.)

GIR is here too though he’s probably not a robot. Maybe he’s another kind of magical being, or, hell, maybe he’s just Zim’s little brother. I’d be okay with that.

Gaz can also see through glamors but she just doesn’t care. Tak shows up at some point to get revenge, and Skoodge also shows up at some point to stay with Zim and be his friend.

Zim is bad at blending in at first, but he eventually Does get better, since he’s not totally isolated from other Irkens here and he also doesn’t Look like an alien.

(I’m thinkin’ elves in this au look Mostly human but with a few differences. Since I’m biased and this is MY fantasy world, damnit, elves are just. Really Pretty. Ethereal and elegant and graceful (for the most part—there are always exceptions) and they’re also great at magic. Maybe Zim isn’t all that great at magic, I dunno. I’ll figure something out.)

This ended up being less of a genre change and more of a whole ass au, lol oops

Day 7. Role swap

Chanting: human zim au human zim au human zim au human zi

Drabble. This is for an ongoing species swap au that i’ve had in development for the last few years. i haven’t posted anything for it yet, but I’ve thought about it a lot

Dib freezes as Zim points the plastic water gun at his head. Zim’s eyes are narrowed, lips pursed, and he adjusts his grip almost nervously. Behind him, Gir is holding a bucket full of water balloons and a pair of neon green star shaped sunglasses. It’d be cute if Dib wasn’t aware of how painful Earth water is to his Irken skin.

Zim finally lowers his gun slightly. “I want some answers, alien.” He looks Dib over with critical eyes. “Who are you really, and why are you here?” He reaches back and Gir hands him a water balloon with a big smile. “And you better tell the truth or I’ll bust this over your big head.”

Dib grimaces and watches the balloon. “My name Dib, and I’m a scientist. I’m an Irken, from Irk, and I’m here to learn more about life on this planet.” He holds his hands up, hoping to placate the human gesture for surrender. “I’m not here to harm you or anyone else, promise.”

Zim huffs. “Yeah right. I bet you just came here to laugh at the locals.” He puts on a mocking voice and waves the gun and balloon as he speaks. “‘Stupid, stinking humans. They can’t even travel beyond their own moon, yet. What morons. I bet they descended from pigs with how horrible and stupid they are.’” He jams the gun against Dib’s chest. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

Dib bites his lower lip and looks away. He can’t deny he hasn’t thought something similar since arriving on Earth, but Zim didn’t have to be so crude and blunt about it.

The two are at a standoff for almost a minute before Zim blows out a long sigh and steps back. He turns to put the balloon back in the bucket, gives Gir a pat on the head, and shoots Dib one last glare. “Stay away from me, Dib. I have enough problems to deal with without having to worry about whether or not it’s safe for my brother to go to school or if I need to watch my back while walking my dog.”

“I wouldn’t hurt you,” Dib says, a little put out.

Zim scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard that one before. I know better than to believe it.” He turns and tries to smile at Gir but it comes out a little twisted and sad. “C’mon Gir. Let’s go home and get Minimoose and take him to that dog park you like so much.”

Gir gasps and lets out a cheer. “Can we go get ice cream afterwards?”

Zim gives a little laugh, smile turning a bit more genuine. “Yeah, sounds good.”

As they walk away Dib can’t help but wonder why he ever thought Zim was an Irken himself.

[tisthenightofthewitch]

KISS THE GO-GHOST: AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIAS FORGE

Ghost, formerly known as Ghost B.C have cultivated a cult following within the metal community since their debut almost 10 years ago. Known for their dark persona and eerily catchy soundscapes, they not only have a sound that’s unmistakable, but a stage presence so involved that there are backstories to each Papa(the name used by each rotating front person) that has taken rein thus far.

I remember when I first discovered their 2010 release, Opus Eponymous, and how enthralled I was with their sound. Granted, I was late to the party, as they had already toured through Utah before. By the time I had completely immersed myself in their music, it was 2014—a year after their second full length album, Infestissumam had released. I was hypnotized by their macabre charm from the get-go, and I’ve eagerly anticipated every release since then. I’ve always loved how frontman Tobias Forge’s vocals shine against the instrumentals, as well as how grim the lyrics truly can be.

With the surprise “re-release” of their single Seven Inches of Satanic Panic, which originally had debuted in the ’60s (according to the Ghost timeline), this magic touch is exceptionally present. As 2018’s LP Prequelle had hints of disco and other nostalgic influences from the 70s and 80s, Seven Inches is laced with the catchy, punchy sweetness of the 1960s—inspiring sounds reminiscent of The Zombies and The Monkees with a sinister twist.

As their grandiose tour, The Ultimate Tour Named Death, conquers North America for the remainder of the month, Forge and I spoke about the band’s origins, song influences and meanings, and life on tour.

SLUG: What inspires you to make songs based around dark themes, such as Satan? Where does this aesthetic come from, and how does it exist in your full-length releases?

Forge: It wasn’t just an epiphany that I had. I grew up, as many others, in the metal underground community. Ever since I was a child, I’ve been a fan of hard rock, metal and all kinds of rock music. My main tool of expression and what I sympathized most with was heavy metal—especially the bands that were big around the time that I was very little. Around 1984, when I was three years old, all of the new, big bands were shock-rock bands like Twisted Sister, Motley Crue, Wasp and Kiss. These, among others, were the first bands that I really, really liked. My older brother, who was significantly older than I was, gave me those records and it just went from there.

I’ve come to expand my liking of music a lot. I loved a lot of 60s music and 70s pop-rock and all kinds of musical styles. When it comes to expressing myself, there’s always been some sort of shock-rock value to whatever I’ve done—a little bit more explicit when it comes to lyrics and a little bit more explosive with image.

My first band that I ever formed was a death metal band and I spent my whole adolescence playing death and black metal where obviously satanic themes are omnipresent. So, when Ghost happened, it wasn’t like I was coming up with a new image—it was so natural. Then, it expanded over the years because I felt like if I’m going to keep things fresh and keep being inspired, I need to expand the lyrics going forward. I’ve always drawn parallel lines, and my ways of expression are always leaning towards darkness and goth in the same way Nick Cave and Leonard Cohen do. I feel more kindled with them when it comes to song writing than I would with Venom—even though I love them, too. The lyrics that I try to write nowadays are more focused on symbols for something real. Satanism is a very good symbol for turmoil or conflict, but most of the lyrics from albums two, three and four have more parallels to real life and the world. It’s just explained with satanic parallels.

SLUG: What are some of your favorite songs from your discography and why? What makes these songs special to you?

Forge: You have the “cream-of-the-crops” in a way—like, the immediate songs. I think “Dance Macabre” is an immediate song and is a song that I will be playing for the rest of my life. I think “Square Hammer” is like that. “From the Pinnacle to the Pit” is a song that is very immediate. I think “Cirice” is one of the best songs I’ve ever written and probably will ever write, but for different reasons. Sometimes I really enjoy songs that are simple. Sometimes it’s harder to write a simple song. You have all of the ingredients that you need in order to make a song, and a risk that the song will be considered premeditated. But, yes, it is. Every song that has ever been written was done so with some sort of intent. Even the songs that people think are made with no commercial interest whatsoever are usually written to feel or taste a certain way.

So, you’re always happy when you manage to say the things that you wanted to say and have the moods in the song that you wanted in there without making it complicated. It’s so easy to get stuck in a complicated arrangement that’s hard to get out of. Where “Square Hammer” is so simple, “Cirice” is a little bit more complicated. It has a long intro that has nothing to do with the rest of the song. It has more of a classic metal arrangement, whereas “Square Hammer” is way more punk. So, I like those songs for completely different reasons, but they both do the trick and they’re songs that will come to embody Ghost. That’s how it feels right now, at least.

SLUG: Your live shows and stage presence are always so elaborate and beautiful. How has your stage show changed with the introduction of Cardinal Copia in comparison to Papa(s) one, two and three? Where did the idea of having a masked band to this intricate extent come from? Why Papa and why Cardinal Copia?

Forge: Early on in the creation of Ghost, I was just reviewing what I had heard. When we recorded the first demo, when I heard my songs, my first impression was that it sounds like a heavily imaged band. If I were a fan of this record that I hear, I would be disappointed if it turned out to just be four or five dudes just standing in jackets and t-shirts. It doesn’t sound like that. It sounds more like an experience and that’s where it originated.

The aesthetics and the ideas are a mash-up of everything that I grew up watching and listening to. It’s black metal mixed with horror films and showmen. I’ve always been a fan of every single character that balances genius, charisma and being pathetic. That’s where Papa comes from.  He’s supposed to be cool, but he’s also slightly out of touch and pathetic—and funny, I think!

SLUG: The last time I saw you in Salt Lake City, you opened for Iron Maiden. Now, you’re touring North America after touring Europe with Metallica. What is it like to tour with these big names in metal? How have these bands influenced you in the past and what does it feel like to work with them now?

Forge: I am still as much of a fan of these groups as I was before, which is a very nice feeling knowing that I can completely separate my ideas, my dreams and my fantasies about both of these bands. But I think that has to do with the fact that for most of my life, I’ve idolized those bands while still always also knowing that what I wanted to do with my life was very similar to what they did—meaning record albums, go out and tour the world and change the world and have a deep impact on people in the same way that they had an impact on me.

On a very professional level, from the get-go, both Iron Maiden and Metallica have been very informative to their fan-base. Iron Maiden started that with their album Life After Death. All of their tour dates were in there, there was a lot of info about their touring life and the technicalities of playing live. I used to sit down with a map book and circle everywhere they played. I would try to figure out their days off and where they were playing next. Very early on, as a kid, I sort of approached it from a professional point of view. Not only did I want to stand on stage like I saw in the pictures, but I wanted to tour like they do. That’s the school of rock that I went to. Metallica would be even more informative later when they released their box set Binge and Purge. You could see old faxes between management and them, and I read everything I could see. I already knew 20 years later that that was a part of the program. I’ve learned so much from studying Iron Maiden and Metallica that when the day came when I started touring with them, I was like “I know this!” It was something I had done before. Now, I have the luxury of learning so much more firsthand.

SLUGMAG.COM

[nihilnovisubsole]

My fashion queen, incredibly important question: How would one go about figuring out fashion *style* for characters? I've noticed your OCs always have a Look(TM), and I've gathered from your blog (and fics) that you've got an eye for aestethics - please, could you give me advice at least where to *start*. I'm completely unaware of fashion and, frankly, completely overwhelmed at the prospect of just starting..

Ah! Previous Anon again - forgot to add a more specific question about fashion (I’m squeezing in 2 quesiton in one xD). Do you have fashion advice for sleek/distant female character’s clothing that doesn’t hinge on formal dresses? (as is discernable, I have literally NO idea what a Grown Ass, Self Respecting Woman would wear)

wow. that’s high praise. when i got this yesterday morning, i knew i wanted to give it the answer it deserved. this is over 1500 words long, so apologies to anyone on mobile, but i wasn’t letting go until i’d really sunk my teeth into it.

unfortunately, since you’re anon, i don’t know enough about your character to suggest anything specific. instead, i want to take a step back and see if we can solve the root of the problem - “where do i start?”

when i was a teenager, an english teacher told me this: “the biggest constraint in writing is no constraint at all.” when you have the whole spectrum of something - in this case, clothes - to pick from, it is overwhelming. the natural human instinct is to freeze up. so while it may sound strange, if you’re just starting out, you might feel better if you have some constraints to work within.

with that in mind, you can treat finding a ‘signature look’ for your character like solving a murder mystery. you eliminate all the suspects that don’t fit until you know enough to narrow it down to the one that does. that’s going to involve something else you’ll recognize from murder mysteries: you’re going to have to interrogate the character. open them up and get to know them - their background, their likes and dislikes, their quirks, the role they play in the world around them. every answer will give you clues and weed other things out, and eventually, you’ll get a box small enough that you feel comfortable working in it.

now, i love fashion, and i love using clothes to send messages about a character’s personality. so as someone who’s had that interest for my whole life, i work from the other end. the constraints happen, in large part, without me thinking about them. i tend to zoom right to a certain aesthetic or item of clothing, say, “okay, what outfit can i build with this,” and go from there. but since you’ve said you’re “unaware” of fashion and it’s intimidating to you, i’ll try to ease you in through a different route and see whether that helps.

so, if we’re going to pick your character apart, let’s think about some practical questions first:

what setting does your character live in?

if you’ve narrowed your setting down to a historical decade, you’ll find most of the style questions already - firmly! - answered for you. for example, a victorian woman would, by default, wear skirts. if the character is contemporary, you’ve got a lot more wiggle room. if you want to mess with historical fashion rules for symbolic or story purposes, awesome, but i think that’s probably more advanced than you’re looking for right now.

if the setting is fantasy or sci-fi, what’s its dominant aesthetic? is it cyberpunk? sleek ~apple~ sci-fi? or is it more like star wars? is it medieval fantasy? woodsy faerie fantasy? JRPG-style fantasy? you get the idea.

what does your character do?

speaks for itself. what’s their job?

what is your character like, just in general?

this is where everything you know about their personality goes. if they’re a fussy courtier who’s worried about their reputation and appearance, they’re probably not going to be comfortable in plain, casual clothes.

what can your character afford to wear?

again, speaks for itself. do they buy designer brands? are they trying their best with what they have? or are they super strapped for cash and just have to get the job done?

does their social scene have an easily-identifiable aesthetic that you could work with?

does your character wear urban/street fashion or preppy rich-kid clothes? are they part of a subculture that dresses in a certain way, like teddy boys? do they have the desire or freedom to go all-in with that style, or do they have to play it down, like being corporate goth?

do they need to wear something they could travel, do hard work, or fight in?

goes with the job question above. do they need some kind of outerwear or accessory where they can hide weapons? do they always need to be ready, or is it situational?

basically, where does the character’s aesthetic need to sit on a chart of form vs. function?

what do other characters who are similar to your character wear?

look at your favorite movies, games, and TV shows and see what professional designers are doing with characters like yours. what colors and cuts are they using? what other elements do they choose? do you like them? if you don’t like them, what would you change? sometimes you can learn more from what you hate than what you love.

hopefully, you’ve already culled a huge swath of fashion ideas that you Know You’re Not Going To Do. you may still not know what you do want to do, either! that’s fine. let’s move onto some more artsy questions:

are there any colors your character would prefer or avoid?

it sounds silly. it’s not. a limited color palette will go a long way toward making a character’s outfits look unified and purposeful. obviously, in real life, most people don’t restrict themselves as much as fictional characters do. but if you were a costume designer, you’d want to have some guideposts to work with.

are there any motifs you associate with your character?

animals, elements, religious or cultural symbols, plants - you can sneak all these into their clothes’ details. maybe their dress has beading in the shape of a peacock, or rose earrings, or icy sparkles, or a bear pelt for a cloak.

have fun with meanings! moon motifs for mysteriousness, poisonous flowers, etc. let your inner lit major out.

do you want your character to have a certain silhouette?

this may seem odd if you’re just going to be writing your character and not drawing them, but think about it anyway. do you want to emphasize that your character is tall? is everything they wear skintight? do they have a large, unique hat?

a great example of this is maleficent. not only does she have a horn-shaped headdress, her huge, flowing robe tells us there’s a much bigger power in her than her body would suggest.

is there a certain ethos you want their clothes to project? what, in their world, would do that? what in our world would do that?

let’s say you want your character to look very powerful, to the point where people would find their looks alone intimidating. should they wear sharp, simple, severe clothes, maybe in dark colors? or should they wear very embellished clothes, like royalty? what are your setting’s ideas about beauty? modesty? does your character play by the rules, or do you want them to stand out?

what colors, shapes, and styles appeal to you personally?

for all the time i’ve spent talking about restrictions and guidelines, it’s important not to lose the fun of it, either. use your favorite color! give them clothes you’d want to wear in real life! character style is a playground where you can let wish fulfillment run wild.

at any time, feel free to turn to google or wikipedia if you’re not sure how to answer one of these questions. if you see an interesting idea, pick it up and follow it - what you’re doing here is training your eye, and that’s how you’ll learn. that said, if you’re already intimidated, i wouldn’t dive too deep into couture/aesthetic blogs until i had a more solid grip on how i wanted the character to look. it comes back to what i said earlier - there is such a thing as too much to choose from, especially when you’re not sure what you should be looking for yet.

there’s one other thing i want to mention that can help bring a character’s wardrobe together: repetition. if you’re planning several outfits for a character instead of just one, echo some of the motifs, shapes, or colors from one to the next. they don’t all have to be identical takes on the same thing, but if they have certain traits in common, they’ll feel less like separate outfits and more like a matched set. they could all be in members of the same color family or have similar patterns on them. maybe your character has a certain accessory that they wear with everything. you get the idea.

while i may not be able to plan your character’s wardrobe outright, i hope this makes the whole process seem more straightforward. or that it gives you some ideas to work with, or any other kind of help you might take away from it. this post is getting unfathomably long, so i’ll wrap it up, but i’d be happy to put any of my own characters through a “question test” like this one if you’d like to see how it works in practice.

finally, if you can find an interview with an artist or costume designer who worked on something you like, those things are worth their weight in gold. i read an interview with colleen atwood when i was in middle school, and it revolutionized the way i thought about fashion and storytelling. and when i say “revolutionized,” i mean “i owe basically everything i just told you to that article.” dig into them and see how they think and talk about their art! they’re more qualified to teach you than i ever will be.

[eldritchsurveys]

554.

What's your name, or what would you prefer to be called? >> I just want to say real quick that this blog has 73 followers for some godawful reason, and only like... 15 of them at most seem to be survey takers. Aside from Jay, what are the rest of y’all doing here. It’s getting weird. Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, my name is Mordred.

How old are you? >> 32.

When's your birthday? >> 28 May.

How would you describe your appearance? >> I wouldn’t describe my appearance. I have no reason to.

What's your style of choice (clothing-wise)? >> I like goth shit and band t shirts. Mostly I just wear a lot of black.

Do you have a significant other? >> I have several.

What's your level of education? >> I graduated high school.

What is your passion in life? >> I don’t think I have a general “passion” that somehow guides my life choices.

Do you have a big or small family? >> I have no family.

Are you political at all? If so, what do you classify as? >> I’m not political, no. 

Are you religious at all? If so, what religion do you practice? >> My relationship with religiosity is complicated.

Do you know your sexuality or are you still exploring? If you know your sexuality, what is it? >> My sexuality is like a quantum thing. When I’m forced to observe it for the sake of others, it collapses into something like “asexual”. But that really doesn’t tell you anything about me and my relationship to sexuality, does it.

Do you have any illnesses or disorders (physical or otherwise)? >> If I do have any disorders, I’ll let that be someone else’s job to figure out.

What's your favorite drink (non-alcoholic or otherwise)? >> I like a lot of drinks, idk.

What's your favorite movie genre? >> Horror or space epic, I guess.

Is your favorite movie from your favorite genre? >> The Fountain is neither a horror movie nor a space epic. I’d call it “existential fantasy”. Maybe.

What's your favorite book genre? >> I don’t have one.

Is your favorite book from your favorite genre? >> ---

What are your favorite foods to have for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? >> I like to eat veggie burgers for breakfast. I don’t have any preference for the others.

What's your favorite color? >> Gold.

What's your favorite letter and number? >> V, 19.

What's your favorite thing to study or learn about? >> I have several, but one is death (from either a philosophical or a practical perspective).

What's your favorite website? >> I don’t know.

Do you use your favorite website more often than other sites? >> ---

What's your favorite dessert? Do you prefer sweet or savory ones? >> I don’t have a favourite dessert, but in general I’m not crazy about sweet things.

What's your favorite mode of transportation? >> ---

Do you take that mode of transportation more than other modes? >> ---

Do you have any physical illnesses? >> No.

Do you have any mental illnesses? >> If so, I’ll let someone else name them. I’m done with trying to understand myself from a diagnostic standpoint.

Do you take your health (physical or otherwise) seriously? >> Sure. But not too seriously.

Do you try to eat well? >> I do, by my standards.

Do you try to get enough exercise? >> No.

Do you try to get enough sleep? >> Yes.

Do you wash your hands as often as you should? >> I wash my hands after I use the bathroom or touch anything that leaves a residue. To me, that’s as often as I should.

Do you take any medications (prescription or otherwise)? >> No.

Do you routinely visit your doctor? >> No.

Do you routinely visit your dentist? >> No.

Do you frequently get sick (colds, viruses, or the flu)? >> No.

Do you try to help others be more health-conscious? >> No.

Do you try to maintain a healthy weight? >> I assume my weight is a healthy weight.

Do you disinfect things as often as you should? >> How often is “as often as I should”? I rarely even think about disinfectant, and I seem to be doing fine.

Do you support religions outside of your own? >> Yes.

Do you support political persuasions other than your own? >> Yes.

Do you support people who have different lifestyles from your own? >> Yes.

Do you believe that everyone, regardless of any bias, is equal? >> I suppose.

Do you consider yourself to be open-minded? >> Yes.

Do you consider yourself to be judgmental? >> Yes.

Do you think people of different ideologies can get along? >> If it’s their desire, and their ideologies aren’t so conflicting that it prevents interaction. Like, I wouldn’t expect a Klan member and a Black Lives Matter activist to have anything constructive to say to each other.

Do you think the world is more loving or hateful? >> I don’t think the world is either. It’s just the world, with all its facets.

Do you think it's better to coexist or have forms of segregation? >> I don’t know. It seems to me that there are benefits and drawbacks to both. I suppose it depends on the long-term goals of the communities in question.

Do you think social classification is fair or unjust? >> Sometimes it starts out fair and drifts into unjust territory as things get more complicated. Sometimes it starts out unjust and just gets worse. Even with the best of intentions, though, I doubt any social classification can remain purely just to all parties involved, indefinitely.

Do you feel the justice system is truly just or corrupted? >> Well, the US justice system has been some level of corrupt for a long time, from what I gather.

Do you feel people judge others too harshly for trivial reasons? >> I do feel that way sometimes. But on the flip side, who am I to call their reasons trivial?

What job did you want growing up? Which do you want now? >> *shrug* and I definitely don’t want any now.

What was your favorite show as a kid? What is your favorite now? >> I don’t think I had a favourite show. I have a billion favourites now.

What food did you like as a kid, but hate now? >> Hot chocolate.

What food did you hate as a kid, but like now? >> I can’t think of any right now, but I know at least one exists.

Where do you hope to be within the next five years? >> I don’t imagine that far ahead.

Where did you live as a kid? Where do you want to live someday? >> In New Jersey, mostly. I haven’t decided where I’d like to live.

Do you feel your past was better than your future will be? >> No.

Do you feel your future will be better than your past? >> Yes.

Are you currently comfortable in your life? >> Yes.

What do you most hope the future holds for you? >> More self-actualisation.

Have you ever been in love? Do you think you ever will be? >> I have no idea, on both counts.

Was your childhood tougher than your current life? >> My childhood was tougher in the sense that I had no agency and no way to speak up for myself and get what I need. My current life is tougher in the sense that I now carry the weight of years with me.

Would you rather go back to your childhood or skip to the future? >> I’d rather stay where I am, thanks. I’m doing just fine right here.

Are you proud of your former-self? >> I am proud of it, yeah, because it did its best.

Are you artistically-inclined? >> Eh, maybe.

Are you musically-inclined? >> Only as a fan.

Are you a talented dancer? >> I am a dancer who has fun when dancing. I don’t know anything about skill but I do know about gettin jiggy and that’s all I care about.

Are you mathematically-inclined? >> Not really.

Are you scientifically-inclined? >> Neh. Interested, sure, but not necessarily inclined.

Are you more gifted with "book-smarts" or common sense? >> I think I have a healthy combination of both secondhand knowledge and experiential knowledge.

Are you more creative or logical? >> I guess I’m creatively logical.

Are you business-savvy? >> Nah.

Are you computer-savvy? >> Sure.

Are you better in the public eye or behind-the-scenes? >> I’d prefer to be behind-the-scenes than in the spotlight.

Are you gifted in the culinary field? >> No.

Are you gifted in athletics? >> I’m probably the least gifted in this.

Are you better or worse under pressure situations? >> I’m good in a crisis, but sometimes I can also be pressured to the point that I walk away and let whatever happens, happen.

Are you gifted in the field of animation? >> Nah.

[anokaiwritingblog]

Finally completed my short story assignment. My classmate tore into it and call it confusing and that I should just throw it away but I still love it :)

As preface, this still is not a complete story. I need to heavily emphasize that it’s just the beginning, middle, and end. All the connection bits aren’t included since this is just a showcase. I distinctly separated it using a boarder. So, it will be confusing if you read it straight as if it’s the complete work. I needed to say this since a lot of people didn’t understand the formatting and why I should redo it.

Once every century, it is said that the planets of the solar system align perfectly. In a perfect row, they cast upon the ultimate shadow upon one another; opening the gates to other realms far from our own. It was said that the fallen god rose from this gate and set his sights on destroying our system just like his own. But where evil went, goodness was sure to follow. Out from this gate came the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight. Together, they sealed away the fallen god and cast light back into our system. The two understood that the battle was far from over. “Catch a fish for a man, he would eat for a day. Teach the man how to fish, and he eats for a lifetime.” Despite their love for each other, the Holy Maiden and her summoned knight agreed to go on separate pilgrimages to spread their teachings. The Holy Maiden remained in our system and founded us, the Holy Order, to pass on her teachings and traditions to future Holy Maidens. Her summoned knight, on the other hand, returned into the gate and spread his words to the numerous realms behind the gate. With their sacrifice, we have prevented the fallen god’s awakening over a thousand times…​

“Ay yo… so, like… cool lore but like… pretty cringy not gonna lie. You lost me at the “aligning of the planets” bit. It went from horoscope bullshit to cliched pre-teen novels with a bit of JRPG elements in there,” a voice spoke out, breaking the breathtaking spell that weighed heavy in this beautifully painted dream.

The wind blew soft through the empty courtyard as no one said anything. In a walled-off garden stood seven bodies, each facing each other in a circle with a pond that separated each figure. Each stood on their own path that was surrounded by the water on each side but behind. A mini pier if you wish to imagine. The water was clear, yet the light was too blinding to see past the surface. All seven figures were outlined well enough to show that they were all women, yet a shadow covered their faces to remain a mystery to one another. Sitting above all this was a pink-haired woman. Her hair was braided back and looked far too youthful to be talking like an elder. Her prink eyes scanned each woman to search for the back talker, a glare like a dagger and on edge. Despite that, she kept an icy façade.

“Who cut me off? Head Nun of the Holy Order?” the pink-haired woman spoke up, looking down at the crowd of women below her.

“Uh, me.”

Slicing through the air, the Head Nun’s eyes locked onto the woman who spoke up; her hand raised slightly while maintaining the image of being smaller than what she was. Her limbs were tightly held together like a defensive turtle yet flashing a Chester cat grin as acceptance of the attention. “No offense lady but I felt like I heard this exact same plot with some gacha game I played last month. Can we just skip all this tutorial nonsense to get to the fuckin’ point already?” the woman continued, her blunt and straightforward words not matching the lowkey appearance she was trying to give off.

“Oh! You played Fate/Grand Order too? I’ve been trying to pull Gilgamesh for my team for months,” the woman on the right of the back talker chimed in. Though she was covered in shadows, the third party was animatedly clapping her hands together in excitement that she found a companion who played the same game.

“Eh, I stopped after two months. The drop rates are insane for that game and you don’t get enough of the in-game currency. I prefer Epic Seven since you actually win the gamble in summoning a strong hero-“

“Silence!”

Slamming her hand against the armrest of her chair, the Head Nun demanded all attention back onto her. The sound of flesh against marble echoing throughout this supernatural courtyard. Zeroing in out the outlier, the Head Nun sized her up before letting out a scoff. Receiving this judgmental look was a young woman of 21 years. If she never stood by herself, she might have blended in with a crowd with her rather ordinary looks. Brown hair, matching brown eyes, and a pair of glasses. Tell that description to any sketch artist and they would draw any other woman. One in five women looked exactly like her. Was that statistically correct? Of course not, but most would believe it these days.

The nun craned her neck over these seven women, peering down with arrogance. Who would have thought that the bold one in this group wasn’t the goth but this… loser. Despite not being affected by the spell, the rebel was overseen like the shadow of her chair or the trees. “Are you done speaking over me?”

“No, actually. You aren’t hurrying the fuck up and you rudely cut me off from having a pleasant and stimulating conversation from my neighbor here,” the woman said, “If you aren’t going to tell me what my horoscope is, I don’t want to hear another hour of lore.” From her side, the woman could hear the reactions from the other women who listen to this back and forth. Some ‘tsk’ from her disrespectful actions while others acted a bit shocked. Of course, some snickered at the show while one seemed to be rather disinterested. Tough crowd… To be fair, she wasn’t normally as blunt as she was today. She knew when to keep things to herself but quite frankly, this lady was going on for the last hour about prophecies and cosmic evils. This nun sounds like those writers who only focus on worldbuilding and not writing their stories.

           “Hurry up? We’re talking about the end of the world- YOUR world. This “lore” is vital. People’s lives are at stake with this information, Two,” the Head Nun said.

           “Shit, really? Then why don’t you act it? Literally… no agency. This is the part where a creative writing teacher tells you “show don’t tell”,” Two answered right back; sarcasm dripping from every syllable. She wanted to correct the hag. Her name was Mia, but she understood there was anonymity for a reason. She was tactless, not stupid. Well, Mia would argue she had some tact, but her patience ran thin for this grossly, mishandled magic society. She thought those campy young adult books with organizations ran by idiots were meant to be… you know, fiction?

It all started right when Mia got to bed. She just got home from a long shift at work and all she wanted was nothing more than lay in bed. And that she did once she took an evening shower before bed. It was normal, everyday stuff for the third-year college student. She had school tomorrow and Mia just wanted to rest her aching body. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she opened her eyes to a completely new world. Looking around, she found herself not alone. There was one other person with her face covered and the pink-haired woman as well. Mia was greeted as “Two” and was told to wait for the other five to show.

That was an hour wasted in waiting and add in the additional hour for the hefty speech, we got our recipe for an irritated Mia. She didn’t go to bed just to stand up for two hours for some fantasy bullshit. Any other time? Sure. It’s cool. But now??? WHEN SHE HAS A TEST TOMORROW?! INCONVENIENT! It killed Mia since this was pretty fucking cool and different from the norm. Everyone dreams of being picked the chosen one but, come on… this was too predictable. If you read a fantasy book or consumed any fantasy media before, then you know what’s going on.

“Rude child. This information isn’t something as trivial as a novel,” the Head Nun spoke, looking down at Mia like a haughty teacher.

“I’m gonna assume that we’re all candidates in being chosen as the new Holy Maiden. We chose our knights or whatever. Compete and whoever wins must reseal the fallen god then tada! Happy ending! Yay!” Mia said. She even raised her hand at the ‘yay’ portion of her phrase. “Listen, dude, I play too many games and read a shit ton of books for this. Can we please not do this while I’m in my pajamas?” Mia said, practically begging to be released from this mild inconvenience.

“… You guys weren’t exactly chosen. The universe brought you to us…” the Head Nun spoke, not really arguing with what Mia said. There was a cocky grin on Mia’s face as she just couldn’t help but find it funny how she got some otherworldly person tongue-tied.

“A lottery system huh… sounds about right. An NPC like me wouldn’t be chosen normally… I’m way too smart to be the main character,” Mia thought. She glances to the side for a moment before back on the show.

“Well… I’ll work with Two on this point and speed things up. Time is of the essence,” the head nun spoke, acting as if she was graciously fulfilling Mia’s wish. At this point, Mia didn’t care. Whatever helped the nun feel powerful or whatever… “As Two pointed out, all seven of you are candidates for becoming the new Holy Maiden. You will come into this realm three times a week for your lessons to strengthen your magic and during your regular days of the week, you seven will compete with one another. Your knights are the extension of your magic. When one knight trumps the other, they prove you are the strongest magic user and your defeated candidate is knocked out of the running. This continues until the last one is standing,” the nun explained, “We have hidden your faces and names from each other to keep you guys from cheating and attacking each other when you aren’t ready for combat. If you wish to fight, it’s up to you guys to discuss how to go about it.”

“A battle royal? I thought dystopian novels where kids kill each other in a game were out of fashion? I mean- they already got the Mirai Nikki vibe with the covered faces in the central hub…” Mia thought. She laughed under her breath with mild amusement at this idiotic situation. Deciding that it was best to keep her thoughts hidden now, Mia turned her focus on surveying the competition. She wasn’t sure if she was going to take this seriously, but she thought she should start hiding her thoughts on the matter now. “The Head Nun never said we couldn’t figure out each other’s identity and jump them… nor any etiquettes of battle… how curious,” she continued her train of thought as she waited for the nun to finish.

“We’ll now do the summoning ritual. One, please kneel and place your hand into the water to help your knight rise,” the Head Nun spoke. One looked around confused by the order, but she soon nervously did as she was told. She knelt and placed her hand inside. There was a good pause before One jolted. Slowly, One stood up to her feet as a tall figure rose from the water. Just like the maidens here, his face was hidden from everyone else but his master, no doubt. But his figure was very much noticeable.

“YO! Did you just summon a furry?!” Mia exclaimed before bursting out laughing. She pointed a finger at the woman next to her in a mocking fashion. While she couldn’t see the competition, Mia could at least see a pair of fuzzy dog ears on the knight’s head. But despite her words, Mia knew that, realistically, this knight was most likely a beast-man or even a werewolf. She simply didn’t want to lose this chance to taunt her competition.

“Two! Please restrain yourself and respect your fellow maidens and their knights,” the Head Nun spoke. The pink-haired woman coughing into her hand to break up the interaction. “Now, for the love of God. Please shut up, kneel, and summon your knight.”

“Damn, at least ask for my consent before forcing me on my knees,” Mia muttered before kneeling as instructed. She felt rather stupid but seeing how the first maiden got a knight, Mia decided to just trust the action. She submerged her hand in the opaque lake. It was wet alright. Yet despite being in spitting distance to the surface, Mia couldn’t see past her reflection. “Come on RNG don’t fail me now. A hot guy would do wonders for my mental health,” Mia joked, “I hope re-rolls are free.”

On the edge of non-existence and existence, a subconscious mind rose to consciousness once more. He drowns in nothingness and breaths in hopelessness.

There was no sky nor ground to define his abysmal prison. Not even a memory to keep him company.

A hand reached out from above. A hand surrounded by light and a promise of warmth. He attempted to reach for it, yet he was restricted from moving and was forced to watch another steal the opportunity from the shadow. He watched the pair of hands meet and just like that, the light was gone.

He sank deeper into the depths of this unholy waiting room.

Yet again, a hand was extended from the dark with the temptation of freedom. Cautious to reach for it after the first time, he looked around for others who wished to take it. Many came and all walked away. No one wanted to take this hand.

He attempted to take it, if only to escape but found that he was unable to pry himself free. Defeated, he decided to give up on the opportunity. It was pointless anyway.

Left unheld, the hand does not reel empty-handed. No. Instead, it curled its fingers until one finger remained up.

One big ‘fuck you’.

What the fuck? So much for an inviting presence. Who did this person think they are? It wasn’t like he didn’t try to take their hand. But seeing this middle finger dangling in front of him like a fishhook with bait, he reached for it once more to drag the hand down into the depths with him. He was tied in place but after some furious tugs, he was freed with a pop.

Taking the hand, it became evident that the one getting snatched wasn’t them but him. Curled fingers shifted forms into a vice grip around his wrist upon skin contact. The dark veil that covered him was ripped off in that instance. Lights, sounds, textures, tastes, and smells flooded his senses as he became a person once again.

Planting both feet on the ground, Mia used both hands to reel up her prey. This summoning was nothing graceful like the woman next to her. It was primal and chaotic as Mia’s partner was floundering under the water. So much for a knight in shining armor. This guy isn’t fighting any dragons anytime soon if he’s having difficulty wrestling against an inanimate substance.

Letting out a battle cry, Mia used all her strength to bring her knight to the surface and onto the pier with her. It wasn’t his entire body but enough of it was on land that it was easier to drag the rest of him out with less trouble. Mia fell backward on her butt and was slightly out of breath after that intensive ritual. Shiiiit. Carrying a body is a lot harder than it looks, kids! Don’t trust what you see on TV.

Mia was the image of ‘tired’ with her slightly flushed cheeks and skewed glasses. Fanning herself, she patiently waited for the man she pulled out to make the first move, yet he was belly-down, still as a doornail. For someone who had a lot of energy to fight against help, he suddenly became as complacent as a kitten.

Oh fuck... he isn’t dead, is he? Cause that’ll be pretty awkward ngl

Mia leaned forward to inspect what she pulled out. She lifted his pale arm to search for a pulse. It was cold to the touch and she couldn’t tell if the steady thud she felt was his or an echo of her own. Upon letting it go, it limply fell to the ground with no flinch from him. Crap. Don’t tell her that she accidentally pulled out a dead body?! Well, Mia knew that pulling trash can happen during fishing mini-games but she thought that this more of a “guarantee knight summoning” deal. Mia refused to believe that she waited five humiliating minutes waiting just to pull out a corpse. She wants a refund, god damn it!

Moving his head, Mia planned to check his pulse from his neck to double-check if he was dead. There was no resistance in the action, yet she found herself meeting a pair of responsive red eyes peeking from between snowy white hair. The two of them stared at each other for a moment as they both seemed like caught criminals in the middle of a crime. The man’s chest raised up and down as he breaths; a piece of evidence that doesn’t escape Mia’s attention. He’s…

“HE’S HOT!!!”

Scrambling to her feet, Mia put both her hands in the air and let out her victory screech to the worried silhouettes surrounding her. No, wait- she should be yelling how he was alive, not his appearance. Yet here she was, doing a victory dance on top of her knight in a pair of polka-dotted pajamas. Give her a pitchfork and a tail then you got the image of an imp dancing on a grave. “Bro! He’s so hot... Edward Cullen lookin’ ass- I mean, not like the musty looking Robert Patterson version but how you imagine he looked like based on the description,” Mia explained to anyone listening with a wildly inaccurate and vague description of the man. She waved her arms animatedly as she gossiped with her peers with the person in question crawling to his feet.

“Dude, that should be the last of your concerns,” Five said.

“I think you should make sure he’s okay…” Seven said, joining Five in expressing concern.

“Whoa there! You can’t really blame my maiden here for getting hung up on my dashing good looks. Dead or alive, you’ll notice my face first before anything else.”

Laying a heavy hand on Mia’s right shoulder, the man wrapped his arm around the woman to stand in solidarity with her. Surprised by the action, Mia tilted her head to the side to look at her knight to judge which side he was playing on. She locked eyes with him once more but not on accident this time. His touch was uncomfortable, yet she doesn’t push him away. They were a pair of souls with two different goals yet had a silent agreement to meet in the middle for the moment.

“Good to see you again, Catherine. You hardly look over two thousand years old,” Mia’s knight said, being the first to break their line of sight to look at the Head Nun. The nun sneered as the source of her stress doubled over the course of ten minutes.

“Ashley…” the Head Nun said, nearly hissing out the name. Her knuckles were turning white due to how tightly she held onto her armrest.

“Ash,” he corrected her, with an equal amount of distaste in return. Ash was smiling but he was on edge just like the Head Nun. But this rivalry was interrupted when Mia pinched Ash’s hand to catch his attention. He looked back down to receive Mia’s disapproving expression at his brief quip with the Head Nun. It seemed hypocritical that Mia was suddenly policing his attitude considering she was flaunting on the competition, but Ash clocked on what’s making her step in. “It’s okay,” Ash said, leaning down to whisper into Mia’s left ear, “This was just between me and her. No one heard me use my name. Not like it matters.”

“I’m just disappointed that you don’t have a chainsaw for an arm,” Mia whispered back, pretending she never had that concern by throwing out a seemingly random thought. Ash stared at her as if she was insane and as if to say ‘what are you talking about’ with expressions alone. “What? You never seen the Evil Dead franchise?” Mia whispered, “Not a fan of zombie movies?”

“You watched me rise from the depths, fight other knights for a living, and you’re asking me if I’ve seen a movie?” Ash said, in disbelief at her question yet finding himself amused by it at the same time.

“I take it that you don’t have Netflix in the void then.”

Watching the duo snicker and conspire with each other like a pair of high school delinquents, the Head Nun rubbed her forehead as a migraine began to surface. She was losing control once again thanks to double trouble. Even the other women who were patiently waiting began talking among each other. “Oh my god… like I thought, this was the worst combination I’ve ever seen in my lifetime…,” the Head Nun muttered to herself. She covered her face as she shook her head slowly as if she was contemplating something. “I didn’t realize it would be this bad… Out of all the times for that guy to make an appearance, he had to end up with her,” she continued muttering before ultimately lifting her head to look down at Mia and her summoned knight. The Head Nun needed to separate them. “Ah, Two? I don’t mean to disturb your… fun. But you summoned one of the more… troublesome knights considering his background. I’ll allow you to “re-roll”. How does that sound?” the Head Nun spoke, her voice sickening sweet and fake.

Mia and Ash quickly turned to look at each other for how their partner would react. They wordlessly conversed with Mia gesturing the two of them then to the Head Nun. Ash’s only reply was an uncaring shrug but ended up nervously shaking off the water that stuck to his hair to appear distracted. “Yeah… no deal, Howie Mandel,” Mia said, trailing off for a moment to gauge last-minute expressions from Ash before turning her full attention on the Head Nun. “You doing that makes me want to stick with Mr. Abominable Albino even more,” she said.

“Abominable Albino?” Ash said. He had a hand over his chest and appeared almost offending by the alliteration. He was hardly offended by being called such a thing but the fact that Mia wasted a brain cell to make an awful pun in the middle of a fantastical end-of-the-world scenario was insulting all on its own.

“Whenever some untrustworthy figure makes some inflammatory comment about one of the main leads, they’re obviously doing that to cause a divide between the leads for their own benefit,” Mia continued as she ignored Ash’s offense to her words. She waved her hand in the air as if to disperse the fog of misinformation. “You even had a mini aside moment where you muttered to the readers that there’s something more about Ash!”

“Pardon?”

The Head Nun looked completely lost as Mia’s rambling turned to the meta and spoke about invisible audience members. But just like Ash, Mia ignored her words to continue her spiel. “And even if he’s a piece of shit. Worthless. Good for nothing. Pathetic. Deadweight. Only a pretty vase-“

“Okay. I think she gets it already,” Ash said, cutting in as the terms began to pile in his heart. He squeezed Mia’s shoulder to have her move on to the point.

“I will never give him up,” Mia said.

“And... why is that?” the Head Nun asked, wringing her dress in fear that Mia figured something out that she wasn’t supposed to.

“Because he’s hot. I made that pretty clear since the beginning,” Mia said. She held her head high and mighty with not even a hint of shame. For a moment, Ash was about to feel touched by Mia coming to his defense. Touched enough that it would make him loyal to her and act as a spark to a turbulent but heartfelt young adult love story that would turn into a mildly popular trilogy with an eventual movie deal before fading into obscurity. But the curtains closed on that sparkling yet oddly specific future as Ash realized that he was stuck with the weird kid. “I mean- I guess I value him as a person too… or something. Power of belief or whatever inspirational term author’s like to use to tug on heartstrings.”

“Enough! I’m done with this game,” the Head Nun said, “Have it your way, Two. We spent far too long on this. Keep your mouth shut for the rest of the ceremony. Or else.” Giddy that she came out victorious, Mia gave a pair of thumbs up and nudged Ash to signal that their partner was now secured. Though he was satisfied knowing that he wasn’t going to return to the void anytime soon, he felt like he lost just as much as the Head Nun in this one-sided deal.

“Next summon!”

Yelling at the top of her lungs, the Head Nun expected the ritual to continue once order was returned. Yet no one followed her directions. No one followed her directions? Scanning the crowd, the Head Nun noted that the count doubled during the back and forth she shared with Mia. “Can anyone explain why you aren’t summoning?”

“Um… we- I mean, the rest of us Maidens decided to go ahead and uh. Summon our knights,” Six said. Her voice quivered in being the one to speak on behalf of the other five women. Her silhouette could be seen wringing her hands for a moment before her knight took her hands to stop the nervous tick. The new silhouette was distinctly female. “We weren’t sure when you’ll finish talking with Two. So… yeah.”

The Head Nun’s eyes were as wide as dinner plates at the revelation. The… the sacred ritual. These women not only disrespected it but treated it as some trivial business. This wasn’t the DMV. There was a natural order to this that was vital to follow. A strong sense of ‘wrongness’ flourished in her mind and the Head Nun can only trace the source to a pair. The Head Nun’s eyes focused on the second team. No, not the team but the maiden in the team.

Doing her best not to point and laugh at the nun, Mia held her mouth with one hand and the other used to tug on Ash’s soaking wet shirt. Nodding patiently, Ash was agreeing that it was a funny show, but he was doing his best to escape Mia’s grasp. These two… as the nun thought, they were a troublesome pair, yet she was limited on what she could do against them. For the most part, she was meant to be an observer. She needed time to think about what to do with these two morons.

Waving her hand, the Head Nun dismissed the group. “Leave. Since everyone received their knights, there’s no reason why I have to hold you all any longer,” she said, “You will all return within the following week for training once you familiarized yourself with your knight.” The Head Nun overlooks the teams but ended up stopping on the second team once again.

“Awesome. I love when class ends early- but you haven’t exactly shown us the exit,” Mia said. She waved her hand wildly to gestured to the enclosed garden. With a Cheshire cat grin, Mia was ready for round three of verbal war with the Head Nun, but the nun was done with the antics. Raising her hand, it appeared that the nun was going to point to an exit but instead, a large gust of wind made an appearance. With a fierce blow, Mia was blown backward and fell ungracefully into the lake with a startled scream.

A flurry of colors passed her by as she sank into the depths. Like a dream, Mia found her limbs feeling sluggish, but the feeling didn’t last long. As everything came to an end and she was left in the dark, the faint sound of her alarm could be heard. Sitting up, Mia’s first act in waking up in reality was stopping her phone’s alarm and putting on her glasses. There were no questions to be asked. Mia woke up in her home. It was obvious the moment she felt her bedsheets and heard her all too familiar alarm. By the Seaside, if any reader was interested in knowing.

“Morning, Ash,” Mia said. She let out a yawn while giving the newest member of her household a wave. Shivering in his wet outfit, Ash was standing at the foot of Mia’s bed. His arms were crossed, and he was glaring at Mia who was taking everything with stride. She let out a lazy stretch before getting up to get her partner a much-needed towel. Living in a small studio, Mia only took five steps to reach the linen closet and only one good throw to pass a fluffy white towel to Ash. He caught it with ease and made quick use of it to dry himself. “You like bagels? Coffee?” Mia asked him. She took several steps to the kitchen area to grab herself a cup of water. “Or do you not eat? You look human but god knows if you function like a human. Do you need to shit?”

“You could at least act startled with me being here,” Ash said, refusing to answer the questions. Mia was in mid-sip of her water when told this. She put a finger up to signal Ash to wait. Putting down the glass, the glass clinking on the artificial wooden counter; Mia took a deep breath before pressing her hands to her cheeks and opened her mouth wide to mimic a surprised expression.

“Omg. A hot guy in my apartment? Holy guacamole, it wasn’t just a dream. My normal life will never be the same. Aaaaaaa,” Mia said. Deadpanned and devoid of any emotion, it was a patronizing act which only annoyed Ash.

“Okay. I get it. Here I thought my worst luck was not getting enchant with the anti-water spell and waking up with gaps in my memory,” Ash said. Suddenly, Mia jumped up and yelled out ‘bingo’. Startled, Ash stared at the eccentric women before looking away in fear that her weirdness would rub off on him.

“Fucking knew it. Amnesiac or plagued by memories. It’s always one of those two,” Mia said. She was doing another strange victory dance though it quickly ended with Mia apologizing. “Uh, sorry. Sensitive topic. But if it’s any condolence, you’ll get your memories back.”

“You’re something else entirely,” Ash said. The only words that came to his mind.

“I’m just your average manic pixie dream women,” Mia said. It was a joke that Ash didn’t understand but he got an odd sense that Mia wasn’t joking. He wanted to ask her what she meant but Mia commanded the direction of the conversation as she asked him a question he couldn’t ignore.

“Pop quiz: I want to know your opinion on this competition and if you really want to fight. Personally, I don’t give a shit about this competition,” Mia asked, At first, Mia was excited at the idea of magic and multiple realms being real. Her dry and ordinary life was finally turned upside down and she had no complaints. Life was that boring and she was jealous of novel protagonists going on these adventures just to bitch and moan about how rough their life was. But the best part in all of this: her summoned was an attractive guy. What more could she ask for? But then the responsibilities Mia had to do surfaced back in her mind. Holy Maiden lessons and some sort of honor match between the summons. Truth be told, the task at hand didn’t seem too difficult. It was simply a matter of “Eh, do I feel like doing this right now?” It was one thing that the fate of the world rests on her shoulders… but it wasn’t. There was a “chance” that she was the Holy Maiden. She isn’t the Holy Maiden, just a candidate. Which meant her other competitors could be that women.

Knowing that fact, should Mia really bother? “If I lose and someone else wins, the world is saved, and we continue with our merry way. If I win, I do things “my way” and the world is saved. With this logic, I don’t need to participate. It’s a win-win situation for me,” she said, explaining her thought process to Ash. The other six women seemed capable enough to come out on top and reseal the fallen god. It isn’t rocket science but magic. Mia wasn’t really needed for it. There were no pros or cons on if she participated or not. They both have their advantages with only one con each. If she goes through and lost, then she wasted all that time she could have used to play video games. If she doesn’t go through, then she risks someone unqualified becoming the Holy Maiden. Mia didn’t even need to question if she was qualified or not because clearly, she was the best choice out of everyone. Duh.

Mia pointed at Ash. “Which brings you into the equation, Ashley. What do you want from this entire exchange?” she asked him. Mia hopped onto the counter, crossing one leg over the other. She was smiling but it didn’t match her eyes. Cold and predatory, this wasn’t the same woman who was cracking jokes or making light of the situation. It suddenly hit Ash that he doesn’t even know her name. “Are you hoping to gain back your memories? Remain in this world? I can help you with that… but is that conviction strong enough for what I want?” Mia continued her interrogation, “Maybe it’s strong enough to fight off the other knights. Carry me to victory. But is it enough to kill a fallen god? Why don’t you tell me if it’s so, Ashley.”

                                                         ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

           At the corner of Main Street and Jefferson Avenue sits a quaint Korean café which was cutely named ‘Seoul-ful Coffee’. It was packed with a flavorful blend of elderly Asians and trendsetting youngsters trying to appear cultured in an Americanized location. Several posters covered the windows with the bright red poster that reads ‘illy’ dominating the sights. There were tacky Asian decorations, most of which aren’t strictly Korean such as drawings of anime characters on the wall or Chinese scroll art but to the common layman, they wouldn’t know there’s a difference between the cultures.

           Mia sat next to the entrance with a coffee in hand and a half-eaten cake before her. It was her fifth cup and second slice. She’s been there all day judging by the piles of finished piles of homework that were nicely stacked on the booth. The day has been going well, all things considered. She made a hefty gamble in exposing her identity to the other women in hope that they’ll consider the alliance she proposed the night before. She understood the risk both sides were putting by going against the Holy Order.

On one hand, Mia was the most dangerous competitor in this game as she already knocked out two teams while the others were still getting their shit together. Making an alliance with her only to turn out that it was a trap would only be disastrous. On the off chance that Mia was correct: that the Holy Order has been sacrificing the maidens to the fallen god to prevent his re-awakening then they need to accept her offer in working together. The strange deaths of One and Six weighed on everyone’s minds.

           Mia was concerned that the group would disregard her evidence due to fear after the first two hours of waiting produced no results. It was a smart decision to have Ash go on a walk while she was left behind as the women began stopping by to show their interest in teaming up to kill the fallen god. They exchanged information and Mia explained how to avoid being dragged into Eden to avoid the Head Nun. With three women down, there was only one woman left to step in. Ironically, it was the seventh maiden and she was the last to come as evening painted the café’s beige walls orange.

           Hearing the familiar chime of the front door opening, Mia placed down her pen as she made eye contact with the final woman. Left-handed, just as Mia initially noted when she saw the women’s silhouette for the first time. Seven was abnormally beautiful despite trying to act demure and average. She stuck out like a sore thumb in front of Mia, who was the antithesis of this woman. Messy brown hair pulled into a bun and wore a band tee, Seven came off as the sort of woman who wanted to be “the cool women”. These two women are a reflection of a self-insert Mary Sue and the average fanfic reader. How funny they’re meant to be universal puppets yet two people that no one could ever be.

           “You made it in time, Seven. I was getting worried for a minute,” Mia said, gesturing to the seat before her to offer the newcomer a spot to sit. Wordlessly, Seven took a seat and stared at Mia. It was awkward, for the lack of better terms and Mia wondered if Seven lacked any social skills. “You want anything? Coffee? Boba? They have some good matcha rolls-“ Mia said, making some small talk to get her fellow competitor to stop looking at her with a vendetta. “Can I ask for your name? You’re here for the alliance, right?”

           “No.”

           “Uh… no to the name or the alliance?”

           Mia set aside her things and clean her glasses in the chance that she’ll get dragged into a catfight. Though she wants to give Seven the benefit of the doubt, Mia got the sense that Seven was the type to see other women as the enemy. Not like Mia had any room to comment since she has been antagonizing the other women since the beginning but that was more for the sake of being a competitor. In the end, Mia much rather work with other women instead of being against them. Misogynistic women against other women was so early 2000’s.

           “No to the alliance. I want to talk about Ashely.”

           God damn it.

           God fucking damn it.

           “Ugh, are you serious? I’m trying to have this story pass the Bechdel test,” Mia said, cursing up a storm in her mind that Seven was wasting their time on something trivial. Gesturing to the door, Mia was dismissing the seventh maiden to leave. “Listen, I’m not going to police you on what you want to say about my knight but that’s between you and him,” Mia said, “He’s walking over at Clovers Park right now, okay… whatever your name is.”

           “Lily.”

           “Yeah, okay. So, Lily. Please kindly leave and talk with Ash like a pair of adults with functioning brain cells. If my name ever comes up, you can call me. But try not to drag me into this.”

           “I need to talk to you first,” Lily said, insisting on talking about the missing party who couldn’t vouch for himself. Reluctant, Mia was planning to excuse herself from the situation but realized that it was for the best she listened to what Lily had to say about him. After all, Ash was her knight and by that logic, she was responsible for whatever mess he dragged in. Placing her hands on the table, Mia nodded her head to signal for Lily to continue. “I want you to give me him.”

           What…?

           What the fuck?

           “Are you-?!  Okay. Hold on. First of all, Ash isn’t an object to be traded and secondly, this sounds like something between you and him. I’ve been saying this since the beginning,” Mia said. Her voice rosed for a moment out of annoyance, but it quickly settled when she realized that Lily wanted her to get angry for Ash’s sake. Mia placed a hand to her forehead, too many thoughts crossing her mind but the disbelief in Lily’s audacity to pull something like this when people are dying is insane. The one time she wished that her predictions were wrong. Mia recognized that Lily had a bit of a crush on Ash ever since she noticed how the seventh team always wanted to spar with them in Eden. It was clear that Lily was connected to Ash’s past, but was that a good reason to stir shit up? Thank god she warned Ash about this possibility beforehand.

“Can you think of this rationally for a moment? As I said, I don’t care if there’s something between you and him. But asking me to give him up during a vital moment like this is both stupid and highly unethical.”

           “You never really cared about ethics until now,” Lily said.

           “That’s because there are some morals that are just unrealistic and that society placed on the disenfranchised to keep them tamed,” Mia said, quick with her counter. “I still have some core values, one being to not to be a piece of shit to my fellow man when I can help it.” Mia gave Lily a disappointed look before shaking her head. She wasn’t sure what this women’s case was against her. Ever since the beginning, Lily did her best to isolate Mia from the rest of the competition. Granted, Mia deserved it for being the massive bitch throughout the contest, but she was the first to dismiss the undeniable evidence of the Holy Order officials killing Six. “I’m trying to help you, but I don’t understand what you’re playing at. Trust me when I say that having a crush on a guy isn’t a proper reason to nuke everything we’re working for.”

           “You wouldn’t understand. He’s my soulmate.”

           Mia’s eyes rolled so far into her skull that she could watch her own soul escape through the top of her head. She didn’t want to be mean, but Mia can’t deny it any longer. This bitch is stupid-stupid. Flabbergasted that Lily could say something so ridiculous with a straight face, Mia’s mouth opened and close as no words came to mind. She laughed for a split second before covering her mouth. “No!” she exclaimed, a laugh escaping her throat. Immediately, Mia shut her mouth and continued this process several times until she was finally composed. “I mean- I get it. Emotions. Crazy things they are. I get it. I’m not invalidating your strong, uh, feelings for Ash,” Mia said, “But, uh… how do I put it. I can tell your frontal lobes are currently off because of this passion. But you don’t need to worry about me in this picture. Ash? All yours. Just… I can’t exactly give him to you as how you’re asking.”

           “I’ll trade you my knight, Erik. You saw him before- I think he fits your taste,” Lily said. It was like she never heard Mia’s words. She pulled out her phone and pulled up a picture of her knight to show to Mia. Erik was the definition of a knight in shining armor with well-kept blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes. He was attractive but Mia preferred the lonely-looking Ash more. Mia placed her hand on the phone and pushed it back.

           “Looks aren’t everything. It’s… look, I’ll do the trade as long as Ash expresses that he wants to do so. But I rather not since the situation right now is kinda intense,” Mia said.

           “Do you want money? I’ll pay you whatever you want- I have a blank check,” Lily continued. She pulled out a wrinkled check now and push it towards Mia to pressure her into agreeing. Troubled by Lily’s desperation, Mia was trying to find what magic words she can tell the seventh maiden to get her to back off. Noticing that this tactic didn’t work as well, Lily turned to the last thing up her sleeves. “I know how to kill the fallen god. I’ll do it. All you need to do is hand Ashley over and forfeit. That’s it. I’ll save the world.”

           Mia stared at Lily in shock at the final proposition. It seemed like she was going to accept the deal but instead, Mia slammed her fist on the table. “How can you be so selfish? Let’s say hypothetically you do know how to kill the fallen god. You willing allowed two people to die and jeopardize more lives- for what? Some passing crush?” Mia said, in awe that there was someone this egotistical. Some people called Mia a narcissist, but they never met a woman like Lily before. “Leave. I got nothing for you. This is between you and Ash, as I said since the beginning. If you two settle on something, then I give you my blessing.”

           “Do I have your word?” Lily asked. She stood up, excited by… whatever Mia just given her.

           “Yes. If Ash wants to be with you, I won’t stop this. Now go,” Mia said. She picked up her coffee cup and took a sip. It was cold.

           Leaning forward, Lily brought her lips to Mia’s ear to whisper. “Don’t worry. He wants to be with me. I already talked to him. I’m just giving you a warning- as fellow sisters in arms, of course,” Lily said, her breath was strangely cold unlike the warm breath a human should have. “Try not to be jealous.”

           At those words, Lily stood up straight to savor the bitter expression on Mia’s face. Turning her head slightly to glare at Lily, Mia began grinding her teeth as she recognized the smug expression on the seventh maiden’s face. Waving goodbye, Lily skipped out of the shop to leave Mia alone with her thoughts.

           Fucking pick-me girls. It was a term that Mia didn’t want to use but it was the only thing that crossed her mind. Frustrated, Mia balled her right hand into a fist and knocked against the table impatiently. Lily talked to Ash before this? Mia got a dreaded sense that she made a mistake in not being firmer with Lily, but she wanted to believe that Ash knew better than to go with someone like her. She specifically warned him about this scenario. But Mia also told Ash that she intended to respect his decisions regardless if they were good or bad but this was really fucking bad. Ash wasn’t just her partner but also a friend to Mia. She only hoped that he valued her opinion as much as she valued his. God…

What did Lily tell him?

                                                     ✥Ash✥

           Fuck.

           Oh fuck.

           This is really fucking bad.

           Mimicking the pose of The Thinker, Ash stared straight ahead with his mind consumed by a torrent of thoughts and new information. Though he couldn’t register why, he watched several children get herded along by worrying mother to escape his field of vision. There was a look of murder in his eyes and his mind wasn’t far from that appearance. The seventh maiden’s words still echoed his now cleared mind. The fog that covered the gaps between memories was gone and all that was left was the horrifying reality of his past actions. Everything he did for Lily in his last summoning. He did it all… for love.

           Ash finally understood why Mia always said the word with such distaste. Why she said every emotion was ugly if you let it mindlessly consume you without control. He can vividly see it, the blood that was on his hands. The sounds of those women screaming as he killed them while their knights could only watch. He did it because Lily asked him to do so, justifying that they were going to die anyway. At the time, it sounded like the most reasonable thing in the world. Even now his mind was trying to tell him that he did the right thing but the disconnect between him from the past and him right now were two different people.

Lifting his head and leaning back to rest his back against the park bench, Ash allowed the sunlight that got past the leaves above to put him in a daze. Christ. What was he thinking back then? You weren’t thinking, Mia would say. He can picture her calculative words of wisdom. If it wasn’t for the fact that Mia warned him about this outcome when he decided to chase after his missing memories, this revelation would have possibly destroyed him. Consume his current identity and replace it with the past version of him. Lily must have thought the same thing when she told him what to do next after being told his past.

“Go back to Mia and tell her that you want to be my knight. She’ll approve it. I promise,” she said, “You’ll find that she isn’t fond of you. Not as much as me.”

Of course, Mia would approve of it if he were to propose this idea. Despite her teasing attitude, Mia never suppressed his opinions. Not like the soft-spoken Lily in his memory. He couldn’t believe the past him was head over heels in love with her. Lily was as forgettable as they come- a forgettable side character, as Mia liked to call them. If he didn’t know better, Ash would have assumed that these memories were false. Mia would have told him to verify that fact. And verify he did. There was no magic used nor any memory manipulation. All of this came naturally to him. But despite that fact, these memories didn’t feel organic. It didn’t feel like it matched his character.

Mia constantly reassured Ash that he was a good person despite the evidence pointing otherwise. Maybe she already guessed that he killed many people before, and she was only saying that to keep him from being unable to fulfill her goals. She was always open with what she wanted. No, that wasn’t right. He was villainizing Mia just to justify his actions. But even still, it made him break rule number one constantly as he didn’t want to reveal the memories that surface. The feelings he felt. He was scared that she’ll tell him to leave. Return to that cold, lonely abyss. But look at where it got him, getting consumed by these complicated emotions, just as Mia warned him about. Even now, he wanted to accept Lily’s deal just so that he didn’t have to… disappoint Mia. He masked one secret with others and created one big mess.

No, Ash was done with this downward spiral. Mia has been meeting him halfway ever since the beginning and he just been refusing to accept it. For what? Because of pride? Fear of rejection? Those concepts held him back. There was so much he wanted to tell Mia. Conversations he forgo and replaced with banter. The memory of his past felt like fiction while the time he shared with Mia felt real. Authentic. Fighting the other knights was all he knew yet it felt like a dream when contrasted to watching movies with Mia.

Already on his feet, Ash began walking towards the café. He spent too much time thinking when he should be talking about what just happened. This was just another tactic to get them separated. To ruin their partnership. He almost fell for it but that was why Mia created rule number one: no secrets. The distance Ash put between them was large, yet he knew Mia was waiting for him to catch up. His brisk pace turned into a run as he didn’t want her to wait any longer.

Cars, trees, buildings, and people all blurred past him as he ran to the café Mia was in. He felt stupid knowing that Mia was busy trying to stop the end of the world while he was busy feeling sorry for himself. It only made him want to come clean about everything. As the café’s iconic red poster came to view, Ash slowed his pace before ultimately stopping in front of the café’s glass door. Pulling it open with more force than needed, Ash put his desperation on display for all to see as the wind chime above the door made an ugly clang of metal hitting glass.

Sitting right where he left her, Mia barely spared him an acknowledging glance as she drank her coffee. Out of everyone in the shop who ogled Ash from his action, it was only the person he was looking for who didn’t look back. “There you are, Ashley. I was getting worried you would never come,” Mia said, taking control of the conversation as she always does. “Judging how you’re out of breath, I guess you learned something spicy.”

Turning her head, Mia presented her usual teasing grin that was a lot friendlier. No, it was always friendly, but Ash didn’t want to view it as such. With her expecting him, Ash was quick to clock on that he wasn’t the only person Lily talked to. He took several long strides so that he can stand before Mia. “Lily talked to you too,” he said. It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Mia nodded her head. “Yup,” she said, popping the ‘p’. She gestured to the sit in front of her and Ash accepted it with no hesitation. His knees brushing against hers as he slipped before Mia. “Seemed like the bitch was a lot more cunning than I thought. But luckily, I was ahead of the curve,” Mia said. She paused for a moment to pass her uneaten dessert to Ash for him to eat. Apple pie based on its cinnamon-fruity scent “Still shocking though. How do you feel?”

“Surprisingly, not that bad,” Ash said. He attempted to reject the offer but after much prodding from Mia, he took a bite. Oddly, something sweet made the bitter situation a little better. “You prep me after all.”

“That’s good. Don’t let people lead you around if they hold something above you,” she told him, “I would say to forget about this, but I know you’re in a complicated position.”

“She told you about the deal.”

“Of course.”

“Did you say no?”

Ash knew the answer to that question but even still, he hoped that Mia told Lily to fuck off. That he was her partner. Yelled at Lily in a fit of jealousy.

“You know I can’t speak for you. This is between you and her,” Mia said. Ash hung his head down in defeat. He knew how Mia was, but it still hurt hearing her diplomatic stance on the situation. “But… if you want to hear my opinion on this. I don’t think this is a good idea. To be honest, I think Lily is a toxic piece of shit and you have to be blind to go with her,” Mia said, “But it’s up to you. Maybe you know something I don’t.” Ash felt a lot better with the clarification from Mia. It wasn’t that she didn’t care about him but gave him autonomy.

“Yeah, your right. You don’t know something about this deal that doesn’t make it work. About everything that happened really. Lily probably doesn’t anticipate it either,” he said.

“Really? What is it?”

“I… kind of… like you. A lot. Romantically.”

                                                        ∘◦ ❉ ◦∘

“Ouch! Shit! Can you be a little more gentle!”

“Hwy don't yoo try bandagenng a woond in a dark fuckenng roum!”

With a flashlight in her mouth, Mia squatted next to Ash. The bright light shining on his face, forcing him to cover his surviving eye. Blood heavily seeped down from the other one. Trail of red tears oozed from the gash that was once his left eye. It made Mia sick to look at, knowing that Ash may never be able to use it again, but she didn’t want to worry the guy. They got this far, and she didn’t want him to freeze up fighting like that again. She couldn’t do much for it, let alone save it. She wrapped the bandage around his head tightly… at least she could stop the blood.

“What did you say?!” Ash said, attempting to give Mia his signature smile only to falter back in pain as she pulled the bandage into a tight knot behind his head. Mia spat out the flashlight into her hand and pointed the beam away from his face now.

“I said, Why don’t you try bandaging a wound in a dark room,” Mia said, repeating her words in frustration. She wiped the blood she got on her hands onto her pants before standing up. She turned the flashlight around to look at the other teams gathering their bearings and patching up their wounds. One of the women was crying to her knight about her broken leg while another woman watched her knight snap his shoulder back to place. The supply packs they brought were in the center of the group; ripped open with the content inside spilled on the floor during everyone’s mad rush to get their hands on some light and the first aid kit.

It was a brutal, bloody mess. But everyone survived. That was the most important thing to remember. As risky as it was, if they were to let things played out as it always had for thousands of years, they wouldn’t be here complaining about their injures. Mia wanted to believe they understood that fact. The reason why no one was making a larger scene than this.

Mia’s eyes focused on the seventh team. Lily barely had a scratch on her as she looked down at the bloody mess that was her knight. Though Mia couldn’t hear it over the mutterings of the other teams and the disgusting way the walls pulsed, she could tell that the golden-haired knight was having difficulty breathing. While Mia was mostly unharmed, even she had several cuts and bruises in dealing with the Holy Order’s monks. Mia found it odd, but her attention was pulled by Ash taking her hand.

“Did you just call the cocoon of the fallen god a dark room,” Ash said. It seemed like Ash wasn’t aware of the current mood of the room as he attempted to banter with Mia. No, that wasn’t right. He knew it quite well but he didn’t want to be consumed by the hopeless feeling that hung in the air. Mia was the same.

“Do you want to acknowledge that the floor is squirming underneath you? No, of course not. We’re in a dark room and that it. No ifs, ands, or buts,” Mia said, turn her head down to look at Ash resting on the ground. He smiled at her but it shifted to a serious expression.

“Tell me honestly. The cut is bad,” he asked her. Mia considered for a moment in lying to Ash to ease his worry but decided that it was stupid. They both knew that his eye won’t work again and he accepted that he’ll gain many more injures to come. She’ll be insulting him if she treated this as just a paper cut.

“Well, that’s the bad news,” she said. Mia looked away as she attempted to think of something nice to say about Ash’s wound.

“There’s good news?”

“Yeah. You completely rock the pirate look.”

Ash rolled his single eye before scoffing at Mia’s strange words of encouragement. He felt better hearing it though. It was nice to have someone to joke with despite the dire circumstances. While where they were wasn’t the most ideal of places, Ash wished that time stopped right here. Not because of the miserable time everyone was having but to keep the final fight at bay a little longer. The same thought plagued Mia as well though she didn’t wish for time to stop but for a chance to speak her mind.

“So, um. Ashley,” Mia said. She turned her head back to maintain eye contact with him as she talked. She squeezed his hand which Ash returned. “I know that we promise to shelf this talk for another day and kinda awful to bring up, in general, considering everything,” Mia said, “But I want to give you an answer to your confession.” Ash’s eye widen at the sudden topic being brought up. He wanted the fallen god to make an appearance right here. Right now. Just so he doesn’t have to face the dreaded answer he’d been waiting for. Ash broke out into a cold sweat but in the end, he realized that this didn’t matter. It didn’t matter if Mia rejected him or not. He still wanted to be her friend.

“Responding to a confession right before the final battle? I thought you hated cliches,” Ash said. Teasing Mia to cover up the emotional roller coaster his mind was going through. “Scared it’ll be too late?”

“Yes, actually. I don’t like leaving loose ends,” Mia said, not a hint of shame in her tone. It made Ash shut up quickly. Pushing up her glasses, she took one look to gauge what Ash was feeling at this moment before she pulled the gun. “I’m happy that you like me, but I can’t return your feelings,” she told him, “At least… not right now. I’m not like you who just feel love just like that.” Mia snapped her finger. “It takes time for me to create a connection of that level. Maybe one day I might fall in love with you but right now, you’re my friend,” she said, “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I don’t want to leave our relationship at this. I hope you can understand.”

Ash saw this answer coming. He saw it miles away the moment Mia warned him about developing feelings for her. He thought that it was all bullshit. That someone hurt her in the past or she was playing hard to get. But after spending some time with her, Ash realized that she was a complex individual and grappling with difficult concepts he couldn’t begin to understand. Ash barely even understood himself at times. Mia was the one person who seemed to have everything together, it was one of the reasons why he came to love her. But there was some baggage that he didn’t know how to help carry. At least not yet.

“Yeah. I understand. Whatever happens, at least we’re still friends,” Ash said. Though the rejection hurts, he couldn’t say that he was sad. Relieved if anything but, more importantly, determine to walk out of this alive with Mia. Finally letting go of Mia’s hand, he raised his arms to stretch before settling back down again. The air between them was awkward, at least for Ash forcing him to change the topic first. “Why the sudden serious talk? You’ve been saying this since the beginning. We’re going to win and make it out alive. Unless a new premonition came to you.”

“I told you. They’re not premonitions. I use logic and reason to come up with my predictions. That said, my prediction still stands. We’ll win and you-“

The words that Mia wasn’t able to finish were trapped in her throat as the room began rumbling and shaking. Several people screamed at the unnatural earthquake and Mia wasn’t sure if she was among the women who screamed. Ash quickly got to his feet and got ahold of Mia to keep her from falling. With shaky hands, Mia pointed the flashlight deeper into the cocoon. The darkness of it swallowed the beam whole but the light managed to reveal something slithering in the dark for a split moment.

“Is that… a worm?” Ash asked.

“No… it’s a giant snake,” Mia said, her eyes glued on where she last saw its tail. She almost missed it, but the snake’s red eyes reflected the light when her hand jerked right. In all of its scaly glory, Mia’s eyes trailed up its body as the last of the tremors stopped. The diamond-shaped head reared back and ready to strike. Though Mia knew better considering she was standing among a group, it appeared that the snake was looking right at her. Her blood went cold at the thought, but she didn’t let it paralyze her. The moment Mia found her voice, she was shouting out orders.

“Maidens! Remember the plan! Stay back and take the critically injured with us! We’ll maintain support from behind while the knights fight,” Mia yelled. She moved his arm away so she could move though she gave him an encouraging pat as he moved up to the front to fight with the other knights. Jogging up to the maiden who broke her leg, she signaled to the third maiden to help carry her back. The knight seemed worried to leave behind his maiden in this state but after a reassuring nod from Mia, he went to go join the line.

Wrapping her arm around the woman’s waist while the third maiden help from the other side, they quickly carried her away from the designated fighting area. “Keep your lights on the thing! It’s huge and fast!” she yelled, reminding the other maiden to keep her flashlight on the battlefield as they retreated. Gently placing the girl down, Mia quickly untangled herself to turn back around. The fight was underway as Ash and two other knights fought what everyone assumed to be the fallen god. The seventh knight, Erik was hobbling over to the battle. He wasn’t in any condition to fight as he had to use his lance to hold himself up, slipping down and ultimately collapsing.

Mia found it strange that he was attempting to push himself like this despite his injures. She was about to call him to hang back with her group when Mia counted one missing party. Lily! She looked left and right for the stupid girl but was quick to realize that her knight was most likely attempting to walk towards her. Tilting her flashlight down, Mia discovered Lily slowly walking up to the fallen god with her arms opened wide as if she was offering herself. Making a frantic gesture to the other three women, Mia broke out into a dash to grab Lily. Sure, she hated her guts but that doesn’t mean she wanted her to kill herself because of delusions of grandeur. “What the hell are you doing!”

Shaking off the three knights from its body, the snake snapped its head forward to strike the offered woman, but she was pushed out of the way by Mia who made it just in time. Unable to scream as the pain from the bite exploded in her head, Mia let out a grunt while seeing stars. The flashlight in her hands clattered to the ground. It felt like the snake intended to eat her as it attempted to pull Mia away from everyone, but Ash dug his sword into its side cause the snake to let go and return to the battle.

“Are you okay?!” Ash yelled, getting flailed around by the snake as it tried to shake Ash off. Holding her side, Mia looked at the damage left behind. Mia can only describe the chemical reaction her blood was experiencing was mind-numbing. Her blood turned viscous, making it hard for her to move. The only thing keeping her from bleeding out her guts at this very moment was one of the snake’s teeth left behind during its quick retreat.

This was very much, not okay.

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Mia yelled back. She turned her body away from the fight to keep Ash from seeing it. If he saw the state that she was in now, all this effort would be for naught as Ash would end up choosing her instead of the world. Letting out a groan, she held her side. Mia wanted to sit but knew that she couldn’t give anything away that would cause Ash’s worry.

“Tsk tsk. Someone broke rule number one,” Lily said, teasing Mia. The woman walked around her, smacking the tooth buried in Mia’s side as she moved to stand before her. Mia’s legs buckled for a moment, but she stood firm as ever. Lily frowned at the lack of weakness from Mia but she was soon smiling once again. “You better keep that in if you don’t want to bleed out! Oh but… the fallen god’s venom is poisonous too. So maybe it’s better for you to pull it out.”

“Why… are you like this? I don’t see how you fit in this equation,” Mia said, letting out a groan. “You’re normal based on my research. No connections to the Holy Order or the fallen god. If you’re angry at how I treated you, then I’m sorry. But don’t drag others into this.”

“Even when you apologize, you’re still disgustingly prideful,” Lily said, “I just simply hate you. For taking away everything that is mine. I will fix everything you ruined.”

Mia stared at Lily bewildered by what her rival meant. The girl was insane but was she that insane to risk the universe? Glancing back to the battle, the three knights should have taken the fallen god by now based on their collective strengths, but the snake still fought as if they never injured it. No! It was healing or rather… being healed. While Mia didn’t have verifiable evidence that Lily had something to do with that, she knew that there was no such thing as coincidence in this world. The woman’s strange actions solidified it and if not, then she was nothing more than a health hazard to everyone involved.

“You know. You really underestimate me,” Mia said. Her hand got a tight grip around the exposed part of the tooth at her side. “Just because I want to do the right thing doesn’t make me a good person,” she told Lily, “Even if it means taking unethical actions, I’m willing to make the hard decisions if it means it justified the ending.” Ripping the tooth out from her side, Mia felt the adrenaline pumping through her as she knew what to do.

And it seemed like Lily knew what Mia was thinking as well.

The woman attempted to flee from Mia, but she was quick to hold onto Lily’s sweater to hold her in place. The two of them struggled with Lily screaming for help. Mia gave Lily some shallow cuts before forcing her entire weight onto the woman and they both fell. Lily repeatedly hit Mia’s side to her to fall off, but Mia was far too focus to feel it. Raising the tooth high, she jammed it into Lily’s throat, digging it deeper until she stopped moving. Mia pushed the tooth one more time to make sure Lily was dead before rolling off onto her back. The deed was done and Mia couldn’t feel her hands anymore.

Her head was light, but Mia managed to focus more on the fight and less on the injury. Based on the sounds, the knights’ attacks were finally leaving behind some damage. It worked. Lily was oddly the key to this entire show. Mia wanted to make a horcrux joke but it was hard to stay awake let alone think of something clever. Thankfully, she didn’t need to be left alone with her thoughts as the room shook once more as the body of the snake collapsed mere inches away from Mia; crushing Lily’s body right next to her. Mia could hear Ash yelling for her in the background, but Mia couldn’t help but look at the close encounter with a god. She placed her hand on its cool scales and felt it take shallow breaths.

“You’re dying too,” she told it.

“Mia! Oh god, Mia!”

Dragging her away from the body of a god, Ash’s face hovered over her head as he forced her to look at him. He pressed his hand against her side to stop the bleeding, but it was already too late. Ash’s already pale face looked like a sheet of paper as he began desperately yelling for someone to help. Did Mia look that bad? She couldn’t help but laugh.

“Would you look at that, Ashley? All my predictions came true,” Mia said, “I predicted you’ll fall in love with me. I predicted that you’re a big drama queen. And I predicted that we’ll win, and you’ll survive. Aren’t I something?”

“Yeah, something else for making jokes right now,” Ash said. He began unraveling the bandages from his eye so that he could use them on Mia, but she placed her hand on his thigh to stop him.

“Don’t do that. I won’t be able to use it,” she said. She let out a dry wheeze as she found it hard to hold on to this life. “I need you to take every out of here. Though the seventh knight looks like he’s dead, he’s still alive. Passed out.”

“But, what about you?” Ash argued. He gently shook Mia’s shoulder as, for just a moment, she closed her eyes. Fear struck him as he thought that she was dead but Mia opened her eyes.

“I already did my mission. I have no regrets,” she said. Mia took several shallow breaths before continuing her train of thought. “You promise to follow seven rules if you want to be my partner. What was the seventh rule again?”

Ash didn’t want to answer her. He placed one arm under her knees and the other behind her back to carry her, but Mia pushed his face away. “What was the rule?” she asked him.

“If… if it looks like you’re going to die but we’re close to completing our goal then leave it be. You will manage somehow. And if you die, then you die satisfied,” Ash said, his face grim as the rule he agreed to wholeheartedly now weighed heavily on his tongue He felt sick. Another one of her predictions proven right. “I really wish you were wrong most of the time.”

“It’s all a number game, baby!” Mia said before letting out a series of coughs in expelling the last of her energy in a cheer. Ash tighten his hold around Mia before pulling her closer onto his lap. Mia smiled at him before leaning her head on his chest. “It’s okay, Ashley. We’ll meet again someday,” she told him.

“Is that a prediction?”

“No. A promise. It’s up to you if you want to make it true.”

“You’re a piece of work for making a promise that I have to keep,” Ash said. He laughed but there was hardly any humor in it. There was a long pause as neither of them had anything to say. Shifting Mia in his arm, Ash finally came up with what he wanted to tell Mia before she goes.

“Can I make a promise to you too?”

But Mia was already long gone without a single good-bye.

[shenanigans-academia]

Season 2 w/ Internship Arc/ Final Exams

Episode 26: Time To Pick Some Names

•The kids are so cute, they’re like “we’re FAMOUS” precious babies

•”Congratulations Todoroki on your offers”

“It’s PrObaBlY BecAuSe oF My FaTheR” just take the W babe

•BABY AIZAWA AND HIZASHI we need more flashback episodes I live for a Baby Emo Shouta

•”You’re not even French are you that’s just an act isn’t it?” Call him out Sato

•Alien Queen is amazing stfu Midnight

•FROPPY FROPPY FROPPY

•WE STAN RED RIOT

•ALL MIGHT JUNIOR I’m crying

•I love Jirou and Kaminari’s friendship. Which is mostly her bullying him (reminds me of me and my friend Zack I should call him)

•Okay Cellophane is actually a really good name as well as ChargeBolt. Creati is probably my favorite tho

•”WHY DONT WE GO OUTSIDE AND ILL SHOW YOU EXACTLY WHY MURDER SHOULD BE IN MY NAME” BAKUGOU YOU’RE TRYING TO BE A H E R O

•Also I love how Kirishima just loves to push B’s buttons

•I relate to All Might freaking out so fucking much

•Iida you shady bitch THEY CARE ABOUT YOU AND JUST WANT TO HELP

Episode 27: Bizarre! Gran Torino Appears

•Oooh new intro ngl I think I preferred the beginning half of season 2 theme TENYA FLASHING HIS GLASSES AND TENSEI BEING REFLECTED IN THEM THAT SHIT HURTED

•Gran Torino gives me the biggest whiplash istg

•Brooding Iida is a Time guys

•”what makes a movement special” only flashes of Bakugou show

•TESTU AND KIRI IN THE SAME AGENCY I FORGOT LOVE THE HARD BOI TWINS

•The fact that Momo and Kendo got picked for their internships just because they’re pretty genuinely makes me upset

•okay but Sho could’ve chosen literally any other place to intern why did he go to his dad who he actively hates (with good reason)

•Ayyeee he didn’t break his legs. Maybe he still hasn’t figured out he can exactly use them yet. Look at baby bunny go

•Omozan I see you

•Izuku you are just as sweet as that fish dessert

•FANTASY AU END CREDITS IM LIVING if Hirokoshi doesn’t want to make another movie after this next one comes out he should just make mini films out of all the AUs he makes because honestly I want to see them all animated ESPECIALLY the Fantasy AU that would be Dope with a capital D my dudes

Episode 28: Midoriya & Shigaraki

•oof Midoriya you tried sweetie you did good

•BAKUGOU MAKEOVER TIME. Serving Looks by Best Jeanist we Stan

•I always forget the Nomu were once actual people what the fuck

•Anndddd things are getting tense. These poor kids don’t know what’s coming

•Dark Iida is. Intense

•I love Iida’s Internship Mentor he’s a good boy

•Shigaraki honey. Please. Get therapy

•Okay but Midoriya’s icon for himself on his phone or whatever he’s using to message Iida is All Might and that is just so him

•Iida you’re so DUMB STAIN IS RIGHT YOU ARE A C H I L D STOP MONOLOGUING YOUR REVENGE

Episode 29: Hero Killer Stain VS. U.A. Students

•The Nomus are so fucking gross

•Fuck off Enji

•Midoriya is so good, worrying about other people like Iida

•Shigaraki is a giant man child

•Iida: “You took everything from me”

Stain: “I don’t even know who you are”

•I’m sorry but how did Stain figure out how his quirk worked like how do you find out you can freeze people by ingesting their blood without having to do so crazy fucked up shit when you were younger

•BUNNY BOY BOUNCE

•Iida I love you but you Dumb

•Todoroki being like “i know you’re not the type of person to send cryptic messages so I knew you were in trouble” yeah he knows his boy

•Iida shut UP

•”you’ve got a dark side I guess my family isn’t the only one” Todoroki now is not the time to be emo

•Ah okay decent explanation for why Sho chose Endeavor that i forgot okay now makes sense

•Iida your inner Bakugou is showing

•IM SO PROUD OF TODOROKI it’s only been a couple of episodes since the Sports Festival but he’s already shown improvement and I love him

Episode 30: Climax

•I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I would die for Tensei Iida

•MIDO-IIDA-ROKI KICKING ASS IS WHAT I LIVE FOR

•”My friends may be in trouble” OUR BOY IS GROWING

•I will say at least Endeavor listened to Shouto and told other Pros to go help him

•Ah shiiiIIIIITTTTTT I forgot Mido got (semi) kidnapped and Stain escaped/ fucking DIED (???) I’m SHOOKETH

Started cooking dinner around this time and was in and out for the next 3 episodes so these are less in-depth until Episode 34

Episode 31: The Aftermath Of Hero Killer: Stain

•SHIGGY you Big Dumb

•DABI & TOGA SIGHTINGS HELL YEAH BABY

•“Once this night is over the world will forget he ever existed” whelp that’s what you get for being a little man child Shigaraki

•BAKUGOU IN JEANS IS A FUCKING LOOK OKAY

•Lmao Kiri I love a dumbass

•“Was that a boy?” OKAY I LOVE GUNHEAD

•MIDORIYA, URARAKA IS ONE OF YOUR BEST FRIENDS YOU SHOULD BE USED TO TALKING TO HER BY NOW YA DAMN NERD

•BIRTH OF THE HAND CRUSHER Todoroki’s having like a fucking existential crisis and Iida and Mido are fucking laughing at him I’m dead

Episode 32: Everyone’s Internships

•It says Everyone’s internships but it was mostly just Froppy. Jirou and Bakugou got some spotlight (Bakugou’s hair is just *chef kiss*) but yeah super proud of Tsuyu tho!

•Kiri and Testu kill me I love them so much I need more of them together

Episode 33: Listen Up!!! a Tale From The Past

•Honestly one of the 1st instances I can see Kaminari being the ~traitor~ since he’s low key hyping up Stain but I refuse to believe it because he’s such a good dumb boy And IF it is true then I want him to be such a total BAMF that it better make it worth the heart ache. Like the whole short circuiting thing be a ploy to make people think he’s weak when he could control it the whole time and you know what this is for a different post MOVING ON

•Everyone watching Mido go through the rescue exercise, “WOAH since when does he move like Bakugou???”

•Cut to Bakugou having a stroke lmao

•All Might you’re gonna make me CRY

Episode34: Gear Up For Final Exams

•“Sexiness isnt just an aesthetic” Midnight laying down facts

•Honestly? Fuck Mt. Lady. I want more Anime Groot Kamui Woods and Gunhead

•Final Exams stress is real no matter how powerful you are. Take notes kids

•“WIERDO LITTLE CREEPS LIKE YOU ARE ONLY LIKEABLE IF YOU’RE STUPID WHO’S GONNA LOVE YOU NOW” Kami is NOT holding back

•Teacher Momo is the best she’s so excited

•Kiri is pining SO HARD for Bakugou and Baku is blinded by the rage of his life he can’t see it Baby Shark is trying his best “Maybe I should beat the lessons into your skull” “I’m counting on it” KIRISHIMA THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO FLIRT

•Shut the fuck up Monoma, Kendo come get your Rat Boy she’s just as done with him as everyone else is lmao

•”Deku, how you use your power is pissing me off I’m still better than you” every time he opens his mouth it’s either to curse someone out, to say Die, or accusing them of thinking their better than him. Honey. Go to therapy I’m begging

•WOW he uses Todoroki’s actual name

•Aizawa help the angry boy please

•“I didn’t leave anything blank at least!” MOOD KAMINARI

•How long was Nezu in Aizawa’s scarf???

•”We’re fighting...teachers?” Lmao yall fucked

•Midoriya & Bakugou against All Might. Aizawa really said fuck them kids

•Saving the most intense and chaotic for last I see

•Jirou “aren’t you just the announcer”

Mic “HEY WATCH YOUR MOUTH GIRL HAVE SOME RESPECT” he’s so butthurt haha leave Mic alone

•Aizawa is calling people out left and right we love a Ruthless Bitch

•Bakugou disses All Might. All Might “it’s on now you angry little asshole”

•MY BOY KIRISHIMA IS UP FIRST LETS GOOO AND WE FINALLY GET SOME SATO ACTION LETS GO SUGARMAN WE GOT SOME POWERFUL BOIS. Too bad they failed

•Tsuyu and Tokoyami are a good matchup and the fact they got the creepiest teacher to go against a kid with a quirk like Dark Shadow is just so funny to me. Basically said let’s make it as Goth as possible

Episode 35: Yaoyorozu: Rising

•Ectoplasm’s quirk looks like it’s literally eats Tsuyu and Yami. Everyone watching TRAUMATIZED. But they still fucking DID IT

•Also LOVE DARK SHADOW I wish he talked more

•Ojirou on Iida’s back “I can only imagine how stupid we look right now” no Ojirou you look adorable. Also just fucking LAUNCH THE TAIL MAN but hey it worked

•”Spikes? What are you trying to be some kind of ninja” yes he is Shouto why do you think he’s an underground villain HES LITERALLY DOING A NARUTO RUN AS WE SPEAK

•my girl Momo showing us what she’s made of

•Aizawa is proud of two smart little shits

•Todo is an awkward gentleman. Something he DIDNT get from his father

•Momo starts crying and covers her mouth. Todoroki:”what’s wrong? Do you feel sick? If you’re feeling nauseous we can call recovery girl” a. GENTLEMEN. He drinks his good boi and respect women juice daily

Episode 36: Stripping The Varnish

•Aoyama. Bruh. Why are you like this lmao

•Nezu is a fucking MANIAC BEAST WHAT THE FUCK we need more Mouse Hero

• “times like this he gets his vengeance” THEYRE KIDS RECOVERY GIRL

•Mic why is your face like that jfc

•KODA IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS WHY DONT WE GET MORE OF HIM???

•”YOU CAN TALK???” It’s been like a good couple of months right? He just hasn’t talked the whole time? Honestly, respect. KODA IS AMAZING

•the fact that Hagakure just gets fucking naked so she can be completely invisible is hilarious

•”MisteR SNIPE YOU PERVERT”

”I COULDNT SEE YOU IM SORRY” poor Snipe lmao

•WHY IS MINETA TRYING TO BE A HERO WHEN ALL HE DOES IS CRY AND RUN AWAY (WHY IS HE CRYING BLOOD???)

•Lmao Sero you didn’t stand a chance sweetheart

•Oooooh so that’s Midnight’s quirk. Okay makes. A little sense I guess. But fuck I love her

•Ah. That’s why he wants to be a hero. He’s creepy and pervy but fuck that was actually a good plan

Episode 37: Katsuki Bakugou: Origin

•IT’s OUR FAVORITE ANGRY BOI. Please Katsuki. I’m begging. Take ALL the chill pills. Just once

•”Why does he always have to make things so difficult” you’ve known him literally all your life you know why. It’s because he’s an asshole

•Midoriya: PLEASE stop yelling

Bakugou: feral yelling continues

•Bakugou why are you like this

•All Might killed a child wow

•Bakugou 110% deserved that punch, good on you Midoriya

•he didn’t directly blow him up that time at least that’s a tiny bit of progress

•”Ah. They got me” All Might is so cute

•”They’re actually pretty smart. They just lose all sense when it comes to each other...They have so many complicated emotions when it comes to the other they don’t even know how to interact anymore” I don’t ship it but that’s pretty fucking gay

•”Your teachers going to do his best to school you” ALL MIGHT SNAPPED

•KB: ”When he shows up it’s my turn to blast him”

AM: “Say that to my face you Limp Noodle”

•Nice teaching just beat one student WITH another one nice All Might

•All Might literally broke Deku’s back what the fuck

•”It’s time to sleep. Goodnight Young Bakugou” ALL MIGHT YOURE KILLING HIM BRUH

•Lmao the angry Pomeranian fucking bit him I’m crying

•THATS MY MESSED UP BOIS

•Recovery Girl is just like All Might if you don’t lighten the fuck up I’ll beat your ass they are CHILDREN and she’s right

•OFFICIAL DABI AND TOGA INTRO IM SO FUCKING PUMPED DABIDABIDABI

Episode 38: Encounter

•”right now I go by Dabi”

“No I want to know your REAL name”

“I’ll tell you when you need to know” IT’S TOUYA TODOROKI THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOUYA CALL YOUR MOTHER

•Shiggy, Dabi, and Toga LITERALLY all at each other’s throats:

Kurogiri: Mom Mode Activated

•”DONT YOU GET IT MIDORIYA OR DID ALL MIGHT KNOCK ALL THE BRAINS OUT OF YOU” DENKI WHY DID YOU HAVE TO ATTACK MIDORIYA LIKE THAT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP

•Aizawa and his logical deception is Class 1A’s Cry Wolf

•Kiri immediately went to Bakugou and was like you’re coming shopping with us right, right? Kiri your pining is killing me you’re not subtle honey but I love it

•”you’re going to scare the children” says the guy with the demon shadow bird that flies out of his chest Tokoyami I love you

•JIROU AND MOMO I love two lesbians

•Kiri the man in charge love my boy

•”GOTTA KEEP THOSE PEST AWAY”

“DO YOU MEAN ME???” Lmao poor Midoriya

•Shiggy you’re so fucking CREEPY

•Finally see Shiggy’s whole face. THIS IS YOUR MANS YALL??? BRUHHH

•Poor Mido he can never catch a break

•Shiggy this just looks like really gross PDA you crusty creep

•”I can’t just run away every time I get flustered” yes you can Uraraka, that’s what I do, live your dream girl, run away from boys

•Wow they actually went to the police their first smart move

•ALL MIGHT IS IZUKU’S ADOPTIVE DAD I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT HIS BOY YOU COULD TELL

•”there’s a good chance that he or another student could be targeted” ForEShAdOwInG

And that concludes Season 2! Season 3 time baby!! God I need a life outside of this

[skeletorific]

I Like My Coffee Like I Like My Skeleton

The name changes. To some its known as Reaper’s Grind. To others, Bones and Brew. To still others, MarshMarrow. It depends who’s in charge that month. Regardless of the name, it is always painted in black script on a driftwood sign, carved so that it appears to be cradled by giant skeleton hands.

Most see this sign and assume its some kind of Halloween or Goth themed establishment. However, the caffeine addicted of the city know there’s no better place to get your fix. As long as your willing to put up with the quirks of the owners.

The cafe is a cozy space, varying levels of clean depending on who’s on staff. The walls are beige, with abstract murals of black paint covering the walls. Frequent patrons will notice that the murals seem to expand as time goes on. Every now and then they’ll come in to the walls completely blank, having apparently been painted over, only to start again. Rumor has it that if you squint you can make out swear words, or even bad jokes in the design. Squinting is not encouraged. There is also a shelf of books for customers to peruse or even purchase. Mostly trashy romance novels for reasons no one has ever been able to figure out, as well as joke books, science textbooks, car magazines, and, most bewilderingly, puzzle theory. 

The cafe has 8 owners, usually with only two or three on staff at a time. They all look so similar that most believe they’re related. Some will even call each other “brother” or “bro”, which seems to confirm it, but everyone worries it’d be racist to ask.

Papyrus is usually on staff in the mornings, which is a good thing. He’s a bright and perky presence to start your day with, and he does his best to create a welcoming environment for those on their way to an early morning commute. He specializes in perk ups, something to get help you shake off those last remnants of sleep while preventing those midmorning crashes. He’ll usually try to coax customers into the healthier versions. “REALLY, ALMOND MILK IS MUCH BETTER FOR YOU!” He also is very good at remembering small details about his regulars. Some of them come to depend on him as a daily reminder to take their meds. Now if only he was better at remembering names...he tends to come up with nicknames for people he sees a lot and they stick with him more than their actual names. An absolute sweetheart who keeps the store spotless, but if he tries to get you to sample his latest pastry invention, politely decline.

Sans is a less energetic presence to be sure (he can usually be found asleep and propped up in some corner if no one on shift bothers to wake him up), but he’s also a well-liked staple of the cafe. He has an easy, laid-back small talk that can set even the most agoraphobic introvert at ease, and writes bad jokes on coffee cups. His coffee is mostly pretty basic stuff, but if you know him well and ask him for the secret stuff....well, you’d be be prepared to deal with the fallout. That particular menu option is the last resort of grad students trying to get through their thesis. The effects are somewhere between Red Eye and Speed. One girl reported a full week of being unable to close her eyes, by the end of which she could taste color and was carrying on active conversations in a language that she did not know. It is varying levels of legal depending on who you ask. Just dont narc. And don’t ask in front of his brother. 

Its easy to tell when Red is on the clock, his motorcycle is easily the most ostentatious thing in the parking lot. So much so that he insists on a two parking spot bubble around it to avoid scratches. He also refuses to take off his leather jacket, wearing it over his uniform. No apron. Not a fuckin chance. His customer service is at best ehhh (unless he considers you attractive, in which case, prepare your flirtatious barista fantasies), but the boy makes a pumpkin spice latte so good it should be illegal. Spiced drinks as a whole are his specialty. When fall and winter roll around he brings customers in like flies to honey to get a taste of it, and it make the cafe smell amazing. Don’t tell anyone but he has a habit of “forgetting” to make people pay for their coffee when they look like they’re having a rough time. Not that he’d ever admit it, but he’s kind of a softie. Abysmal cleaning, and he’s usually making drinks for himself on the clock, but once you get to know the guy, he’s a pretty good dude. Also his music taste is fire and the cafe playlist gets infinitely better whenever he’s on staff.

Edge is a different story. While all of them technically own the store in equal parts and no one is legally in charge, it was pretty quickly discovered that mixing Edge with customer service was a recipe for disaster. So he takes on a more managerial role, dealing with finance, shipment, rent, and advertising deals. Everything needed to keep the place afloat. When he’s on shift (and he usually is), he can generally be found in the office unless the place is absolutely slammed. Though he’s not much for dealing with customers, he’s excellent at making gourmet drinks. His skills were made for Instagram. He also has just a biiiit of a soft spot for the kids that sometimes come in,  and may have quietly slipped in some more child friendly options to the bookshelf, as well as a couple action figures that Red swears look familiar. 

If you want a high octane burst without risking your life, Blue is your guy. I mean, the dude’s practically a walking five hour energy. He is more than generous with his definition of what a shot is, and blends in truly irresponsible amounts of sugar and sweetner for an extra kick. Kids naturally love the insanely sweet taste but it is not recommended that parents let them finish a full sized one. If Edge is on the clock he will straight up slap it out of his hands before people start bouncing off the walls. Blue is also incredibly sweet and friendly with the customers, and has amassed a decent sized collection of regulars who only became regulars due to a crush on him. He flirts shamelessly but never lets it go too far.

Stretch likes doing novelty drinks. Did someone say Unicorn Frappucinnos? The weirder and more poorly conceived the better. He also does most of the baking for the cafe. Muffet taught him a lot about pastries back underground, although it took a while to make the transition from spider carcasses to just...you know, normal flour. He switches the menu up a lot when he gets bored of making the same thing, although for some reason corndogs are always an option. The kitchen really is the best place for him. Leaving him unattended on the front tends to lead to miscief, especially if his brother is there to egg him on. He’ll loosely detach his hand only to enjoy the horrified looks when it pops off as he hands a drink to the customer. They get more negative Yelp reviews that way, but a lot of customers enjoy his sense of humor. He has absolutely tried to pull the Salt and Pepper diner bit by editing the playlist for the cafe 

Black is a bit of an odd duck in the cafe. He doesn’t have the patience to sit still long enough for managerial responsibilities. He’s terrible with customer service. His drinks arent bad, but the coffee is as black as his soul regardless of what they actually ordered. Even when forced to make something a little less straightforward he makes it incredibly bitter, because to him, coffee should never be sweet! If you don’t want bitter, don’t get coffee!! some wonder why the others even bother to let him on staff. But Black’s role is vital. Its inevitable that asshole customers pop up in a coffee shop. Entitled, being a dick to either the other baristas or even other customers. And this is where Black shines. Come hell or highwater he can get any customer out in less than a minute with little to no scene, both reducing the time they’re  in the store and the risk that watching the altercation might cause an anxiety spike in one of their customers. He just up and carts them out of the store, then returns a few moments later, quietly checking in on everyone involved to make sure no one was hurt or too shaken up. When asked what happens to these guys the only thing Black will ever say is “NOTHING YOU CAN PROVE”. He also keeps the place spotless. May or may not help Blue and Stretch with the pranks, though he’ll deny it to the bitter end.

While Blue may lowkey flirt with a few and Red may highkey flirt with a lot, Rus is flirting with everyone. No, seriously. Everyone. Not being creepy, but chances are you’re leaving with red cheeks that have nothing to with the hot drink in your hand. He’s fairly popular for precisely this reason, though very few have ever gotten a serious date out of it. The man makes a mean cappucinno, great herbal  teas and has those smoky bedroom eyes. There’s buzz that he’s also the one responsible for the ever evolving mural, though he never confirms it. Rus takes far too many smoke breaks and doesn’t clean worth a damn but is responsible for nearly half of their consistent customer base. He has a sixth sense for creeps. If he sees a date going on where one of them is looking exceedingly uncomfortable, he can effortlessly swoop in and charm the pants off them until the other asshole leaves in frustration. If he sees someone looking nervous he has ways of subtly getting out of them what the problem is. And if he ever gets the vibe that someone is being harassed he may or may not sic Black onto them without batting an eye. Much as he seems not to give a damn about anything regarding work, Rus takes it as a minor point of pride that their cafe is a safe space for people to get away from it all, if only for a couple minutes.

Bonus:

Axe is their maintenance man who comes in whenever equipment breaks, while Crooks is the night janitor who will often come in with his brother on daytime calls. Both of them are a bit too...unstable for regualar shift jobs. Maintenance positions allows them to be on their own if they need to be and generally avoid stressful triggers. Still, Crooks loves the cafe. On his good days he helps Stretch with the baking, and when the day is really slow Blue and Papyrus will teach him how to mix drinks. Axe is a little more grumbly about it but even he admits its kind of a calm space to be in. The man drinks exculsively black coffee though so he kind of misses out on most of the menu. When he’s in a good mood he competes with Red over flirting with customers. 

Special thanks to @jezziconvair who gave me the idea for a lot of the drink specialities and who Tumblr isn’t letting me tag for some reason!