#i love making nonsense crossovers of my interests it just makes sense to me!

[crayolascribblz]

I didnt know if I should post this on my dan and phil sideblog or if I should post it here but I'm just gonna put it here bc it's silly :3 a doodle while I'm in-between doodling ocs

[many-gay-magpies]

one thing that's been fun to notice as i transition from teen wolf obsession into dead boy detectives obsession is how the difference in the quality of the show directly correlates to my need to write fanfiction for it.

watching teen wolf propelled me into a frenzy of fanfic-writing like never before, the likes of which i had not even felt with shows i enjoyed just as much as i enjoyed teen wolf. the fact of the matter is, teen wolf sits in the purview of media that is really rather bad, but just good enough to make me absolutely fucking bonkers about all the ways it could be better. in other words, THIS SHOW WOULD BE SO GOOD IF IT WERE GOOD. similar to merlin, teen wolf has a variety of characters, relationships, and plotpoints that are incredibly interesting and compelling, but the writing choices made and the execution of said plotpoints leaves a lot to be desired. teen wolf was (and is!) "good" in that i enjoyed it, in that i fell in love with the characters and their relationships, in that i felt visceral levels of emotion when the characters in question went through the terrible ordeals the show had in store for them—but then there are so many missed opportunities, so much lost potential, so many empty places or holes that never get explained, so many emotions or relationships or traumas that don't get paid NEARLY as much attention as they should be, and that, coupled with my aforementioned love of the characters and burning sense of injustice over the wrongs they faced at the hands of teen wolf's sometimes-shitty writing, was enough to shoot my posted fanfiction count up from five-ish to an entire eleven (to say NOTHING of the countless other unfinished pieces still sitting in my drafts).

and then we have shows like the sandman, and dead boy detectives, which... are so good i can really do nothing except scream about all the different reasons i love them and drown my blog in content for them ('the sandman' is included here because i had the same relationship with it after watching it as i have with dead boy detectives now). sure, there are some things in the show that are probably unsatisfactory to some people, and of course 'fixing canon' is FAR from the only reason people write fanfiction, but... there aren't any empty spaces. there's nothing to FIX; only eight episodes of absolute glorious, campy, heartfelt, sensitive, beautifully-written nonsense that i am losing my mind over more and more by the day. like with the sandman, my only real urges to write anything for dead boy detectives are to try and concoct some possible crossover with merlin, because i just LOVE shoving that magical little twink into as many situations as possible. i love the characters, and i would love to see how they work and clash against ANOTHER beloved character... but other than that, i just want to yell my love for this show into the sunrise and appreciate everything the OTHER creators in this fandom have to offer.

[berylcups]

La Squadra Splatoon AU/Crossover Pt 1 of 2

Hey Beryl here! And this is the beginning of my JJBA junk. 🤡 I didn’t proofread it so don’t expect perfection. I thought a good 1st writing prompt would be what would these blood thirsty hitman be like in a children’s shooter game full of squid kids-rules are all weapons specials subs etc… are allowed from splatoon 1-3. None of these kits are balanced, these are just based off what I thought their stands would translate into game wise. Let me know if you’re interested in hearing about the rest of the gang and or having bucci gang done too. I wanna see if this is something people are interested in before I delve deeper into. Please enjoy ~

Risotto:

Ink/Octoling: Inkling

Species type: Hawaiian bobtail squid- the parasites that live in this squids body makes for great camouflage.

Ink color: gunmetal grey

Weapon: Blaster - quick, gets the job done, this leader has his priorities straight.

Sub weapon: ink mines - don’t think you can sneak up on him, he’s 2 -3 steps ahead of his opponents. A mine sets off behind him and he knows to 180 and start blasting.

Special: wave breaker - it’s great for him to find his other stealthy opponents and it’s a great distraction as he blasts whoever is trying to tear down his wave breaker.

Play style: He camps and waits for his enemies to show up, and then BAM! The damage has already been done, and you’re waiting to respawn. He doesn’t worry about painting, that’s what his teammates are for. He’s in it for the kill count. And you bet he has ninja squid as 1 of his abilities. As the leader, he won’t hesitate to help out a teammate in peril. Those are his men and he will fight to the death for them…of course he can just respawn. It’s not like real life getting blown to bits by a meddling drone *gives Nara the stink eye 😒 *

Formaggio:

Ink/Octoling: Octoling

Species type: Atlantic Pygmy Octopus - tiny but full of poison

Ink color: Rust

Weapon: Clash Blaster - a user friendly weapon and can be the user can be underestimated by it. But the cheesyman uses this to his advantage…also to add some salt to the wound that you got splatted with a “noob” weapon

Sub weapon: suction bomb

Special: ultra stamp- what isn’t there to love? He gets to crush his enemies with a massive ass hammer! He loves making his opponents feel small.

Play style: this stinker likes to pretend to be a complete noob. He’ll lure you in with a false sense of security and then start blasting. Or he’ll throw a faux squid party with a teammate or two and then straight up ambush you when you thought you were just there for some light hearted shenanigans. He’s a “nice” guy, so he won’t squid bag you, but he’ll definitely join in when he sees others doing it! It’s just a game don’t take it so seriously! 🤡

Illuso:

Ink/Octoling: Octoling

Species type: Mimic octopus - mimics other species… it’s like looking into a mirror!

Ink color: plum

Weapon: Carbon roller - great at inking , great at ambushing. It has everything he could ever want. Smack you from behind with the roller twice or throw a bomb in there and you’re done for!

Sub weapon: burst bomb

Special: big bubbler - it’s not as secure as the mirror realm but it’s good protection to keep enemy ink out. Unless someone has the balls to go in there and splat him at close range… he may have not of thought this completely through…

Play style: sneak attacker and a well known camper. he has the audacity to camp near your spawn point and kill you over and over again. Also will 100% squid/octobag after every kill because he’s a big jerk. 😒 also has ninja squid equipped. Go utilize the haunt ability to track his octo-ass down and give him a taste of his own medicine!

Prosciutto:

Ink/Octoling: inkling

Species type: vampire squid - despite the name, not really a vampire. But they live the longest amongst the others- roughly 10 years vs 1-2 years.

Ink color: goldenrod

Weapon: squeezer- perfect for splatting and inking for this no nonsense man! He’s going to utilize every bit of his kit.

Sub weapon: toxic mist

Special: ink storm or splatter color screen - you can’t age your opponent’s but you can sure weaken them as much. Damaging them gradually with a storm or disorienting them with losing their sense of color it makes them easier to pick off!

Play style: weaken the enemy at all costs and don’t back down! The weaker the better but he won’t hesitate to fight someone at his level or even higher - his reputation depends on it.

[solisvia]

2, 4, 10, 11, 13, 15, 16, 18, 19 for Winx

Let's-a-goo

2. What I like most and least about it

Ok ok just AALLL the potential for worldbuilding! The creators crafted such a fascinating, widespread lore and universe, you can fit almost anything in. It's heaven for worldbuilders. The most detestable part of this show is the nonsensical timelines and plot holes, as well as all the garbage behind the scenes. Stop milking this franchise's corpse - and enough with the racism and whitewashing.

4. A character I couldn't care less about

Uhm, how beloved is Palladium? Is the fandom going to hunt me down? He has a nice design but... I just can't connect with him. Who is this man and why did he have a growth spurt between Seasons 1 and 2?

10. A ship I would gladly go down with... and then become Davey Jones, so I can continue to captain said ship for eternity

It started out as a crackship, but the more I thought about it the more I liked it, and people need to stop sleeping on it and that's Flora x Tecna!

Do they have a ship name? Must I make one?

Anyways, what happens when you put together two insecure (going by Season 1 characterization) nerds who are seemingly polar opposites but in actuality have more than a few things in common? This ship. And brooms and buckets.

11. A ship that makes me want to look into the camera like I'm on The Office

Valtor x anyone from the Dominian Royal Family. No thank you. I doubt any one of the RF would care much for the man partially responsible for the pain they went through. Marion, Daphne and Bloom would be an especially ill fit due to them having the Dragon Flame. Valtor is rather self-obsessed and self-aggrandizing, so anyone who could rival or even surpass his power would be a threat to him and his self-image.

... And Daphne's not into men. I'm objectively correct here.

That said, I have nothing against the shippers. You do you friends.

13. The non-canon pairing I find the most intriguing

Griffin x Valtor, and that's actually largely thanks to you! I hadn't thought of the ship much before, but then I read a bunch of your posts, and looked at their scenes with fresh eyes and thought how did I not see this before? Best totally-not-canon-we-swear ship, hands down.

15. A character/story arc that bores me to tears

Season 3 only has 25 episodes. Episode 20 and its stupid pixie filler, doesn't exist. It's not only boring, but annoying too, as I'm not the pixies' biggest fan, and it dunks on the Trix too. :/

16. A scene/moment that makes me really emotional every single time

The scene in SoLK where Daphne reunites with her parents. It's the first time they see her as a ghost. It's very possible that they've (or just Marion, if Oritel was unconscious) held on to a desperate hope that their daughters might be alive, and to find out that isn't true... Bloom's inclusion is poorly handled but I'll give it a pass because the earlier seconds are just so 🙏🙏

18. A plot hole that makes me want to tear my hair out

What hasn't been said about Domino's weird timeline? Instead, I'll yell about the Earth Fairies' weird timeline! :) WHAT IS GOING ON HERE RAINBOW? How can Roxy be Morgana's daughter?? If Roxy was born before her mother's imprisonment how can she be Klaus' daughter? If Morgana SOMEHOW escaped why did she do NOTHING for the others? Morgana's relation to Roxy is a fun idea but at least make it make sense!

19. Crossovers/AUs that pique my interest

I'd love to see an AU where the Winx fairies resemble the Fae seasonal courts more. Give me fish-out-of-water Bloom trying to navigate a world full of technically-not-lying-jackass Fae. Do it for the funsies

Fandom ask game

[bapydemonprincess]

Hi hii, big fan of you and grelleswife's fics and stuff. My favorite is The Butler, Big Brother, with Amy. I love Amy so much.❤️ So I want to know some things. Like would Amy count as an Aunt to any of Sebastian's kids you have made? Does she want to have a mate eventually too? Maybe get married? Can she make a contract and have a master or is that not possible being a President? Does she count in Hell as a child demon despite being a President? Like does she need looking after?? Does she know other demons seen like Claude and Hannah or do they not count because different universes? XD I remember she got really sick too going without eating a soul, so does she need to constantly eat souls? Also, I think, one more thing. I remember early chapters in the manga Sebastian said Hell has Xenomorph looking creatures not cats. Does Amy have those at all or any pets? And does she have a favorite animal like Sebastian?? ^^ Okay. I think that is all!! Thank you and I can't wait to see more stories from you! 😘😘 Hope Amy comes back especially!!! 😁❤️

Hello, Anon, and thank you so much for sending me this message and these interesting questions, and loving my and @grelleswife's writing!! It feels sooo good to get feedback, especially on my end when I'm only here on tumblr and not AO3 at the moment. So thank you overall so much for reaching out!! 💖

I'll try my best to answer all your questions!!

would Amy count as an Aunt to any of Sebastian's kids you have made?

I have definitely imagined some crossovers in some situations, like an older Amy in modern 21st century appearing to hunt down her sibling and popping up right at Seb's and Agni's place- wherever that may be -and meeting Aarushi and/or Ambrose. OR maybe at one point the meeting happened on purpose where Seb really WANTED their new, first heir Aarushi to be introduced to their family.. and then YEARS LATER.. Amy arrives to meet the SECOND one Seb popped out >:3 (*insert image of no-nonsense business wear pencil skirt Amy with heels and sunglasses and nails done looking all the world like a Wine Aunt, minus the wine*) Or of course her getting introduced to Wolfram and Seb and Wolf's babey Ulva, or Amy appearing in the sebagrellerin universe to meet the sweet babey Aidan.. OR... well... there are many verses, it seems, where Amy's big dumb sibling just can't resist a human mate and despite their differences.. 😏

2. Does she want to have a mate eventually too? Maybe get married?

Well, as I've established, in the uhh MAIN AMY UNIVERSE (*snort*) she's stumbled upon a teen reaper boi Adam Borders, under the mentorship of Grelle Sutcliff, and well... let's say she didn't stand a chance in the Tsundere Game >:3, though her veteran older sibling of said game is not too happy with this development! The Protect Family Urges growing STRONGER than EVER in Sebastian 🤭 Even against all common sense! And I've basically established that they are pretty much like mates at this point.. minus the mental bond connection.. Who knows, maybe they'll get there eventually! 😉 As for marriage, well... it's much more complicated to imagine overall because Amy is a demon. And yes, we've written SEBASTIAN getting married, but I'd say the difference is Seb is more... a "domesticated" demon. Because, in this fanon at least, Seb is way more into human concepts like marriage. Not to say maybe Amy ISN'T but.. she's also a young, teenage-like demon too, so.. gehstdjfuy that's the best way to put it, I think. 😅

3. Can she make a contract and have a master or is that not possible being a President?

I personally believe she COULD make a contract, and any demon has the ability in most cases. In this universe. In That Butler, Big Brother, in fact, she tried to make a contract- if VERY poorly -with Prince Soma. Basically if she'd had more experience and know-how, she likely could have done it. Although in that case, it also depends on the human being targeted, and despite if Amy WAS experienced, I doubt even then it would have worked, because well.. Soma. But there's a time and place for everything, so, if the scenario was different, like Amy was facing a human in perhaps a much more desperate situation, and the human needed to chose either a contract or.. y'know.. DEATH likely.. Then that definitely would be a more likely way for Amy to make a contract! And pull it off despite being a President! I think, personally, with her job at home much more better handled and stuff, she could definitely go off and make a contract or two somehow. 😌

4. Does she count in Hell as a child demon despite being a President? Like does she need looking after??

Well I do not see her as a "child" by demon standards anymore, but much more in the pre-teen/teen area of her immortal demonic like. Though there is most definitely a hierarchy in hell, a ranking system, where the higher in the ranks you are, the less you have to do for yourself, really, because you have servants yourself at that point. Though somehow, the rank of "President" counts as still a hard working sort of rank and not a "sit on your ass all day" rank. Somehow. 😜 And I definitely wanted to keep a lot of the "official lore" of Amy the demon from the actual real life Lesser Key of Solomon that includes the fact that they do influence humans in some way.. specifically teaching them things like astrology and liberal arts like the page says! Though my version of Amy is definitely a demon who has been coddled and stays put and, well, despite what they've described Amy as, She or He is much ... smaller and youthful.. (Though there is art of Amy the Demon in HUGE firey forms, and I think despite age, she CAN become like that 🔥 because as we've seen with Seb in the manga, size and shape certainly don't matter~)

5. Does she know other demons seen like Claude and Hannah or do they not count because different universes?

I do believe I've answered these questions before actually! Here about Hannah, and here about Claude!

6. I remember she got really sick too going without eating a soul, so does she need to constantly eat souls?

The main reason she got so weak in that case was from coming to Earth by her own means without all the typical summoning help of a human on this side, and offering up a sacrifice to her like we've seen in the manga done. And, for a younger demon like Amy to just go off and use what power she has to pop up on earth, it was pretty risky on her end! I wouldn't say she has to, normally, constantly eat souls, but compared to a much older demon like Sebastian, it's a very vital thing to keep up her energy if she wants to keep staying on earth and hanging around!

7. I remember early chapters in the manga Sebastian said Hell has Xenomorph looking creatures not cats. Does Amy have those at all or any pets? And does she have a favorite animal like Sebastian?

I definitely can imagine these Totally-Not-an-Aliens-Reference "pets" of hell are the type of animal that are like guard dog-like, and maybe many higher-up demons have them for security or pets.. But I also see Amy as the type to trust other demons for security over creatures that are more animal-like. I'm not sure if she has a favorite at the moment right now, really. I just see Amy as a jumpy little demon, who just can't exactly trust any of the four legged, furry, non-furry, or no legged creatures of earth just yet 😂 (She's still a babey in those types of situations you could say~🖤)

WELL, I hope I've answered all your questions to your liking, I've been busy and tired lately so it was a little bit of a struggle when to find the best time to answer these.. But I really wanted to, so here I am, while at walmart, doing my best fgrhdkyfug 💀

But again, thank you so so much for the questions and your message overall!! I love getting feedback, really I do!! And it was fun to think up answers for this!! So feel free to return and send me more at any time!! 🥰🥰🥰

[the-darkness-does-not-bargain]

“don’t ask me about my baccano crossover”

please spill them beans 🫘 asap

Oh no, I guess I did bring this on myself. To be clear, the chances of this story ever seeing the light of day are next to none, but here we go. Placing under the cut because things do get pretty dark.

If you've never seen/read Baccano! (and you should see it, everyone should see it. Watch the English dub.) then what you need to know here is that the world of Baccano is simultaneously very grounded and completely insane, and there is one particular aspect that showcases this duality in fine form.

It's only vaguely hinted at in the show, but in the light novels there is a fanatical, Christian-adjacent cult that serves as an occasional antagonist. This cult's beliefs focus on the torture and murder of children (these books were written in the early 2000s, long before Q*A*on and their nonsense, just fyi). They believe that they can, in a primarily symbolic sense, turn a chosen child into a sacrificial God that they can put all of their pain and misery onto in order to lead completely happy lives. So these kids are subjected to constant torture almost from birth until they are ritually sacrificed on their 10th birthday. And this cult has operated in different locations and forms since at least the 17th century, leading the deaths of probably countless kids over time.

So that’s pretty fucked up, eh? I happened to reread the light novels while also re-watching s1, and this idea just sort of festered in my mind until it took shape.

I'm serious when I say the stuff this cult is said to have done makes the original Martyrs film look easy. Their abuse turned a boy into what is effectively a sociopath with a pathological need to make other people smile (so he can understand what happiness looks like; he's also one of the best and most interesting characters).

So imagine, if you wish to, a scenario where little Ava gets abducted by these people and subjected to this kind of torture for anywhere from a few weeks to years. She suffers through the most awful abuse imaginable while being told that she is their new God (the novels make clear that the cult prays to and thanks the sacrificed children while they're being tortured as part of the ritual). Eventually, she gets rescued by her mom, but while they are escaping from the cultists, the car accident happens, leaving her safe from the cult but orphaned, disabled, and stuck in St. Michael's.

So think about how reluctant and unhappy Ava is to be involved with the OCS in the show, and then multiply that by 1000. She's properly terrified of these people who have kidnapped her and is constantly searching for hints and signs that they are related to the cult from her childhood. She really, really doesn't want to be their Warrior Nun, which feels a little too much like being their "God", so she runs fast and far the first chance she gets.

And it's not so easy to bring her back this time. No tough love from Mary or demon fights in cozy towns are going to be enough. It will take active effort on the part of the entire OCS to better themselves as an Order before Ava will feel safe enough to come back. And they'll have to make an actual effort to understand her motivations and her trauma instead of belittling and berating her and just expecting her to fall in line.

[fawnfulart]

💞 Favorite romantic trope 💕 What's a genre/trope you'd like to write more?

Writing Wishes Asks

💞 Favorite romantic trope

For somebody who so deeply relates to friends to lovers, I am actually shockingly invested in enemies to lovers stories. I'd love to do one like that. They're hard to do convincingly imo but when it's good it's good. Also idk if this counts as a favorite necessarily but I do frequently find myself writing stories where one character is somewhat oblivious to the romance that's happening. Like just kind of not noticing or considering it as an option for completely unrelated reasons. Idk if it's the 'tism or what that makes me write that over and over, but I think part of it may be the tendency to focus on a character's internals in my narration. I like shifting point of view and reframing the moments from each character's perspective, and in that sense I'll find myself trying to make each character's thought process distinct from one another. Often a very easy way to accomplish that is to just have them not interpret events the same way. If one has a crush and the other hasn't even considered a crush well...that's a really clear cut way to do that. Also like, characters with an underdeveloped romantic identity are interesting because like what a process it is to figure that shit out if you're even a little bit queer.

💕 What's a genre/trope you'd like to write more?

When I was bopping about on the RP scene more I really liked to do just 1000 AUs bc it let me experiment with genre a ton. In that sense I'll take any excuse to try a little of everything. I liked doing sci-fi and fantasy stuff a lot. We love a monster AU, we love a bad historical fantasy, we love a poorly thought out crossover. I want to do stupid AUs so bad. I really enjoy esoteric nonsense that allows for a lot of worldbuilding, particularly in fanworks which tend to narrow down to a character focus. I like the idea of stories where I have the freedom to develop broader setting type stuff--cultures and societies and things like that. I also just really like found family. Rather real.

[dafukdidiwatch]

I adore The Magnus Archives! It was actual a pandemic podcast for me. I got into it during the beginning of spring I wanna say, a little bit after I finished Homestuck actually. I kept seeing posts on tumblr about it since I think it was hitting the final season during then, and there were 2 Specific Posts, both crossovers with TAZ, that got me interested in it. I listened to it every day after work trying to get me to take daily walks so I wouldn’t feel so cooped up, and I even got to listen to it during work (perks of working remotely). Sometimes I even just go to sleep listening to it, it was soothing in it’s own way.

The Magnus Archives is absolutely a top tier podcast. I love everything about it. I love anthology series and stories, always have, so it just spoke to me. The deep and smooth voice of Jon Sims, and his range in voice acting is just so good! I love how it builds and keeps building and the little details were all around to figure out what the specific Fear entity is, and how it relates to a much larger plot. Normally shows sort of lose my interest if they start to completely focus on a larger storyline and lose that monster-of-the-week style they had initially, but TMA just has a brilliant balance between the two. I get my statement, the statement gives hints to the larger story, and we hear the talk and discussion of the nonsense around recording the statement. Best outcome all the way around.

Jesus I literally can just go off about it there really is nothing that I won’t talk about for The Magnus Archives. I clearly remember listening to Episode 7: The Piper while working and it changing my opinion of it being a Good Podcast to being a Great Podcast. I found the episodes about Micheal Crew and the Episode 19/20 two parter to be pretty boring. I discovered I got a new fear of Cave Diving from Lost Johns Cave, and specifically the ones dealing with Space freak me the hell out 100%. I remember that listening to Episode 25: Growing Dark trying to fall to sleep actually got to me, and I had to pause it to finish in the morning. I love the Michael (the Spiral man lol) as my favorite monster. And I actually love the Jared episodes dealing with The BoneTurner’s Tale. Elias sucks ass. Love Martin and Tim. I actually didn’t catch that Sasha’s voice changed going into Season 2. The Jorgen Leitner book episodes are a hit or miss to me. Depends on the book.

I’ve actually been writing some TMA fanfiction on the side. The one TAZ/TMA crossover post of the Starblaster Crew as Avatars inspired me actually write it. HERE’s the link if you’re interested. I’ve also donated to The Magnus Protocol kickstarter as one of the higher ranking tiers, so I’m going to get an episode dedicated to me however that works. I’ve talked to my friend and I think if I was an Avatar it would be for either The Spiral or The End.

Seriously, you can just deadass give me an episode and I can go off about it. It’s just so good.

The only thing is, I do know spoilers and endgame (roughly) for the end of the series, but I’ve never actually finished listening to the series. I’ve only gone up to part way in Season 4. I have a, how you say, weird thing about finishing things sometimes. Would sort of stopped listening in the middle of things, got distracted by other things/hobbies, then just picked it back up again like a few months ago. So I have like, 3 waves of listening to it if that makes sense?

First Wave was during Pandemic where I got up to the beginning of Season 4, maybe like 10 episodes into Season 4, somewhere like that. Second Wave to intently listen was when I just listened specifically the statements and only the statements. Like the outside story is great, but sometimes I just wanna get the anthology part of the series ya know? Got up to Season 3, but I definitely skip around them to the good stuff lol. Then it’s the Third Wave which is my Journal Wave, because to keep track of all the small details I’ve been writing each episode in a journal to pick up the clues and hints of each episode and how they connect. Really it was just to focus on key words and phrases to figure out what entities were tied to each episode. I’ve actually just got well into Season 2 of my Journal Wave listen, just started listening to Ep 48 as of this morning.

I finally got my friend to listen to TMA and now she’s gonna finish the series well before me lol, oh well. Tho I think we are gonna lowkey start a Magnus Archives Book Club, so that’s going to be fun.

So yeah, I’m pretty obsessed with The Magnus Archives, I think it’s a brilliant source of stories and narration, where it can be enjoyed singularly or as a whole. I 100% recommend it to anyone I can, and absolutely one of my favorite bouts of horror. Feel free to ask me anything about it, tho keep in mind that I’m not yet finished with Season 4 as a heads up. 

[spunky-89]

All Power (Kol Mikaelson x Female Reader)

A/N: Woo a new fic! Cause updating or finishing old WIPs is apparently not as cool. Also, this fic is a bit of a crossover from Teen Wolf, not anything like major, just some references and such.

Word Count: 1.8 k

Warnings: None that I can think of

The air was tense in the courtyard as Kol stood protectively in front of his lover, facing off against his pain-in-the-ass hybrid brother. Elijah stood between the two trying to keep them from tearing each other apart. Freya was off to the side holding herself, feeling guilty for starting this disagreement.

“You come anywhere near her Nik and I swear it will be the last thing you do.” Kol threatened.

“I don’t like liars, especially not in the house where my daughter sleeps,” Klaus growled.

“You really think I wouldn’t make sure that my girlfriend had no ill intent towards my niece? Do you think that low of me brother?”

“Enough, both of you,” Elijah spoke, turning slightly to look at his youngest brother and his lover. “Now, would you care to share what this ruckus is all about?”

“I don’t know, ask Nik.” Kol spat, rage in his eyes.

“You stand there and make me the bad guy when it is your pet human that is lying and has been her whole time with us.” Klaus proclaimed.

“And how do you know this Niklaus?” Elijah inquired.

“Because I sensed it,” Freya spoke up, moving closer to the brewing storm.

“Sensed what Freya?” Kol snapped, becoming more and more fed up with the current situation.

“Something… off,” She tried, struggling to find the words.

“You need to do better than that sister, or else this is a waste of time because you have no grounds to accuse my girlfriend of anything.”

“Enough.” The woman came out from her position behind Kol and came to stand next to him. “Please just stop, all of you.” She requested.

“Darling?” Kol gave her a questioning look and she gave a heavy sigh.

“She isn’t wrong, I’m not human,” She started, avoiding eye contact and staring at the ground. “Well, not entirely human I should say.” She then looked to Klaus, “I’m honestly surprised you didn’t sense it. I mean typically wolves have a sense for this sort of thing.” She remarked.

“Get to the point, my patients is waning fast,” Klaus warned. As he did so, Kol took a threatening step forward, only to be stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Okay, calm down. The short version is I’m a werewolf.” The woman stated plainly.

“You can’t be, you’ve never turned on a full moon,” Kol stated, looking to his girlfriend in confusion.

“That’s because I’m a different breed and I’ve learned to control it.” She then gave a bashful smile at him and said, “I also happen to have an amazing anchor that keeps me grounded.”

“That’s it,” Klaus growled and sped at the supposed werewolf and pinned her to the wall, his eyes glowing golden. “Who are you?”

She saw Kol move to intervene but she shot him a look to let her handle this. She smirked as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes, opening them to reveal her eyes were glowing a vibrant purple, wolfish features taking over her face slightly. And before Klaus could make a comment or move, she dug her claws deep into his side and rake them upwards, causing him to release her in shock. She used that moment to roundhouse kick him away from her.

“Who am I? Well, I’m someone you really don’t want to piss off.” She huffed, fixing her clothes.

Kol was looking at her wide-eyed, never having seen her like that before. He watched in fascination as her face shifted back to the one he loved so much, though the claws on her hands didn’t disappear.

While Kol was focused on her, she was focused on Klaus. She knew she just poked the sleeping bear, or well in this case wolf. She acted casual, but she was ready for a full-fledged brawl. She heard him let out a chuckle, and her heart went icy cold. She knew that kind of chuckle. It was the kind that told her she’d just pissed him off and he was amused by her attempt to hurt him.

“That was a neat trick, love,” He said as he stood back up to his regular height. “But you’ll have to do a lot better than that if you want to hurt me.” He growled as his eyes flared and he started to rush towards the woman. Before he could even get close Kol threw him to the other side of the courtyard.

“I told you Nik, not a hair.” He seethed, standing protectively in front of his girlfriend, who was now minorly terrified and clutched onto the back of his jacket.

“Maybe I should just go,” She murmured to Kol.

“Nonsense, you are still welcome here,” Elijah promised.

Klaus had gotten up and was getting ready to argue when Elijah cut him off.

“Why don’t we give the lady the benefit of the doubt. As it stands, if she had wanted to harm any of us she’s had ample opportunities to do so and has not. We shall hear her out before we jump to any more conclusions.” He stated, his tone leaving no room for argument.

Everyone was slow to move, but eventually, all were gathered in the seating area.

“What do you want to know?” The woman asked, practically perched in Kol’s lap.

“First off, how is there another breed of werewolf?” Elijah asked.

“Well, there’s actually a few. I’m from the French line of werewolves, whereas your brother is of the North American breed. As far as I know, the only other breed is English wolves. But there are many different shifters out there from many cultures. Kitsune, for example, come from Japan.” She explained as best as she could.

“How is it we’ve never heard of any other wolves or shifters before?” Freya asked.

“That I am unsure of, but I’ve met loads of different shifters and other creatures. Where I come from, it’s practically a beacon for supernaturals.”

“And you can control your shifts?” Kol piped up.

“Well for the most part. The way French wolves and shifters work is that you can shift at any time, not just on the full moon. But the full moon makes us more susceptible to turning. But for older wolves, it becomes easier to control your shifts. Whereas baby wolves tend to be much more at risk of turning uncontrollably.”

She then spent the next hour or so explaining the differences between the different wolf breeds and other supernatural creatures, although she never really explained what she was. It was actually Kol that brought up the question.

“Me? Well, I’m kinda a special case. I’m a werewolf, but well, an extremely rare one. It’s why I didn’t tell you who or what I was.” She explained, clearly nervous to reveal who she was. But with one squeeze of the hand from Kol, she sighed and started speaking, “I am the twin sister of Scott McCall, the True Alpha. I am his opposite in most cases which makes us an elite team that is nearly unbeatable. So I am what is called a Compliment Alpha. Part alpha, part beta, all power. It’s why my eyes are purple. It combines the red of an alpha’s eyes and the blue of a beta’s.” She explained, once again flashing her eyes.

“Does that satisfy you Nik? Or does she have to go through her life story before you trust her?” Kol asked, seemingly done with his girlfriend being interrogated.

“I swear to you I am no threat to your family. I didn’t even know of your existence until Kol revealed who and what he was. Vampires are kinda new territory for me. This is not some evil plot to harm you or any Mikaelson. You all have become my new pack, and you don’t hurt your own pack.” She swore.

“I shall allow you to stay, but be warned little wolf, I see even the slightest hint of your inevitable betrayal and I will end you and your brother.” Klaus threatened, but instead of being scared she just gave him a smile.

“I would expect nothing less.” She teased as she stood from the couch. “But just so you know, my old pack and I are hard to kill. Trust me, many have tried, yet here I am.”

Kol stood as well and took her hand as they left for her apartment on the other end of town. He pulled her close by her shoulder and kissed her head as they walked out of the compound.

-----------

When they finally made it back to her apartment, he could see her noticeably relax.

“I have to say, darling, I’ve never seen you kick ass before but I would love to see it again,” Kol murmured as he wrapped his arms around her waist and laid kisses on her neck. She giggled and tried to push him away.

“Stooop,” She whined as she tried to wiggle out of his grip.

Kol, unfortunately, refused to let her go and held her tighter as he relished in her laughter. Moments like this were his favorite because there was just joy in the air. All troubles forgotten and burdens lifted to make room for the contentment he felt when he was with her.

The two settled down on the couch and just sat cuddled up in silence for a while. Kol was the first to break it after about half an hour.

“Would you have ever told me?” He asked, looking down at his lover who suddenly seemed very interested in the couch.

She sighed and sat up. She hated this. She knew he would eventually ask this. And she dreaded it because she didn’t have a good answer. But she knew she had to give him something.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” She started, “My identity and my secret is the reason why I ran here in the first place. The danger became too great for my brother and me to stay together. We had to separate, at least for a little while. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.” She paused as she recalled the day she had to say goodbye to her mother and brother. The physical pain she felt when she got on the plane without him. “I was scared.” she admitted, “I trust you, and I wanted to tell you so many times, but…”

“But what darling? Cm’on darling, I just want to know.”

“If my identity was found out, I would have had to leave again. Which would mean leaving you. And I couldn’t- I can’t lose you too. It would break me. Shatter me to a point that I would become volatile and dangerous to those who came across me. Because my heart’s been broken a few too many times for me to be able to come back from that.” She said quietly, not realizing that tears had begun to stream down her face.

Kol pulled her back into his arms and just held her.

“I swear to you my love, no one will keep me from you. Not even my brother.” He vowed.

[alynnl]

if you're still doing then ask gam, then 3 for Olberic since I know he's your favorite

How I feel about this character: He is amazing! Again, he's another member of the later party so it took me a while to actually come around to him. I had a lot of assumptions about how his tale would go but I was pleasantly surprised on where it ended up. Olberic always strives to do the right thing even when it was really easy for him to to do the wrong thing (and use the Fall of Hornburg as an excuse.) He's tough but not afraid to show his softer side. He also values the other travelers' advice and instincts and is an all-around team player instead of the lone wolf I thought he'd be. Team dad material, full stop!

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Cyrus, H'annit, Erhardt (very rare occasions), and Harald (as more of a crack pairing than anything else)

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: If we're keeping his reconciliation with Erhardt platonic (which I do 9/10 times) then definitely that one. They share a history (albeit a complicated one with a lot of baggage) but Erhardt coming through for Olberic in Riverford shows he's trying to make a better present and future after they settled things with their duel. Honorable mention goes to the master-apprentice/adoptive father type relationship Olberic has with Phillip because it's actually very sweet.

My unpopular opinion about this character: At the risk of sticking out like a sore thumb, "Erhardt really isn't my first choice for Olberic's ship partner."

I know they made up in Wellspring and fought side-by-side in Riverford but to me that still doesn't erase what happened between them during the Fall of Hornburg. That being said, Olberic still cares for Erhardt and wouldn't abandon him if he was in trouble (the reverse is also true.) But I don't see a scenario where Olberic gives his trust back to Erhardt completely. That is a really hard thing to build back up once it's broken (and in such a serious way!)

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: He could've stabbed Werner one more time and finished him off. For himself, for Erhardt, for Hornburg. Or even better yet, behead him! ... But then the game would've gotten an M rating and not reached a wider audience.

Favorite friendship for this character: Among the travelers, his dynamic with Therion is interesting. Therion is tuned into Olberic's trust issues with regards to Erhardt because it reminds him of his past with Darius. (A great deal of their conversations revolve around trust.) Therion also shows genuine intrigue toward Olberic and his strategies. They're an unlikely pair, a platonic "odd couple" if you will but to me they kinda just fit together.

My crossover ship: Again I'm going into complete "utter nonsense" territory here but. Olberic is so similar to Cyan from Final Fantasy VI it's uncanny. And if they were in some parallel dimension (like, the Dissidia series) their sense of chivalry and strength with a sword would make them a battle couple to be feared and loved for sure!

[twistedlymad]

Hello there, I love blogs and your writing. If you have the time, can you please write about the MC (fem reader) where she accidentally summons Stitch himself, befriends him, Stitch took an instant liking to her, with the TW guys becoming jealous to the new familiar and Stitch causing all sorts of mischief and pranks towards them. Thank you, keep up the good work and stay safe

Ohmaigawd. When I first read your request, I was honestly shocked! OwO

I literally could not have made the connection between Twisted Wonderland and Stitch at all! When I started writing, I did so many research! Forgive me, but, I have not seen any episode nor movie related to Stitch during my entire childhood, hence the research ahaha

One note though, I cannot make you summon Stitch as he already is a being on his own. However, I can make him appear in Twisted Wonderland :’)

Anyway, I hope this story lives up to your expectations! Thank you for requesting and have a lovely day! 

What if Stitch appeared in Twisted Wonderland? (Ft. Grim, Ace, Deuce, Sebek, Jack, Epel and Crowley) (Twisted Wonderland crossover w/Lilo and Stitch)

It was a quiet night at Night Raven College, no unnecessary arguments, no drama involving dorm leaders nor their members and most importantly, no fights occurring.

Or so you thought.

After having dinner, you and Grim went back to your Ramshackle Dorm after saying your goodnights to your friends.

“Fgnaaaaa! That deluxe-katsudon was the best dinner I’ve ever had!” Grim said as you put him on top of your head. It was his go-to spot for relaxing.

“You always say that to anything you eat.” You said, laughing. “You should cut down on all the extensive eating, you don’t want to have a certain teacher order you to run laps more than usual now do you?” You continued, a slight smirk on your face as you felt slight shivering on top of your head.

“Ahaha, you know what? Maybe I’ll skip lunch tomorrow.” The creature said to you and you shook your head.

“I told you to pay attention to your diet, not skip out on meals. It’s unhealthy.” You said as you opened the door to your humble Ramshackle Dorm, Grim jumping from your head and went inside. Before you went in yourself, you took a look outside and saw that the sky was clear and the moon shone upon you with no distractions. You felt a slight breeze blow through your hair and decided that it was a perfect weather to take a walk.

“Grim, I’m going to take a walk! You can go to sleep without me!” You yelled into the dorm before closing the door behind you and went on your walk.

You weren’t far from the dorm, in fact, you were taking your walk on the small field behind the building, enjoying the peace and quiet for once. As you looked up to the sky again, you noticed the stars that littered the sky. You took out your phone and took a picture of the night sky. However, a certain star caught your eye.

It was rather large to be a star? You thought it must be because the star was relatively close. You almost shrugged it off, keyword: almost. You would’ve went on your merry way if it wasn’t for a certain fact about the star.

It was getting bigger, it looked as if it was right above you. Once your mind had taken this fact into realization, your legs got the message and began to move out of the way. You ran to a few trees and hid behind one of them. A crash was heard soon after, it was rather loud, Grim would have probably heard it if it wasn’t for the fact that he was asleep. You peeked your head out from behind the tree to see what had happened, but all you could see was smoke.

Your mind had told you to get back into the dorm and call Crowley but your curiosity got the better of you. You began to walk towards the smoke to see what had crashed. You craned your neck, trying to get a better view when all of a sudden a part of the crash had flung open. You were taken aback and took a few steps back, fearing for whatever would emerge from the thing.

However, the only thing that emerged is a blue koala? Was it even a koala? You weren’t sure. Your whole body froze as it looked at you.

But what scared you the most was the fact he had 4 arms.

AND 4 GUNS?!

The creature then pointed the guns at you and your arms immediately flailed up to shield your face.

“D-Don’t shoot! I wasn’t going to hurt you!” You yelled, hoping that it would just go away. The creature just looked at you, guns still pointed at you. However, you noticed that it was slightly trembling, so you slowly lowered your arms.

“Umm… Hi?” You waved to it, you weren’t sure if it even understood you. But it replied.

“Hi?” Your eyes widen and slowly crouched down to its level. The creature still had its guns pointed at you. You just held up both your hands as if to show you were harmless.

“C-Can you understand me?” You asked and the creature nodded, but then shook its head.

“Ah… I’ll take that you do understand but you aren’t quite sure on how to speak it.” The creature nodded furiously.

“Interesting… Do… Do you have a name?” You asked and slowly approached the creature. The creature still stood his ground.

“S-Stitch. My name is Stitch.” It said and slowly lowered its weapons, slowly realizing that you meant no harm.

“That’s very good, where are you from?” You kept the conversation going. You were trying to let it relax and know that it has no need to be defensive. You sat down and looked at it.

“Ha… Hawaii.” You nodded with a smile.

“I assume you’re a boy?” He nodded.

“Ah… I see… I should introduce myself too.” You said to him. “My name is (Y/N) (L/N). Nice to meet you.” The koala-like alien blinked at you before nodding.

“(Y/N)?” He asked you.

“Yes, (Y/N), that’s my name.” You smiled to the creature, it also gave you a smile back. Stitch and you looked at the crashed craft and could already tell that it was unusable. Sighing, you returned your attention back to the creature, you used your hand to cup his head to look at you.

“Say, Stitch, how about you stay for the night? We could go find help first thing in the morning.” You offered and you saw his eyes light up. Stitch nodded and you smiled.

“Alright, come, let’s get a good night’s rest.” With that, you and Stitch walked back to your Ramshackle Dorm. You let Stitch sleep on the bed while you slept on the sofa. Grim was already asleep on the bed so he didn’t hear the crash happening. You let Stitch shimmy himself into the bed and tucked the two creatures in, after doing so, only then you went to sleep on the couch.

You were awoken the next morning by a scream.

“FGNAAAAAAAAA!”

Your eyes jolted awake and you saw Grim running towards you and away from an already awoken Stitch.

“(Y/N)! THERE’S A MONSTER IN OUR BED!!!” Grim yelled, jumping into your arms. Your eyes travelled to Stitch only to see him looking kind of sad. You just let out a small smile.

“Grim, he’s not a monster, his name is Stitch and he crash landed on our yard yesterday. I’m going to take him to see Crowley in a short moment.” You said, petting Grim to soothe him.

“Does that make him an alien?” Grim asked you and you shrugged.

“I guess.” You said, letting Grim go and walking over to Stitch, who was now curled up into a ball. You then bend down to his level.

“Good morning Stitch, I’m sorry you got scared a moment ago, but this is Grim! He won’t hurt you, he was just surprised to see you.” You said and nudged Grim over.

“I am the Great Grim, the most powerful mage in Twisted Wonderland!” You rolled your eyes at his introduction.

“Grim? (Y/N)?” Stitch asked and you nodded.

“Yep, that’s us. Now, let me just go prepare for the day and we can go find help for you.” You smiled at Stitch and left Grim and Stitch in your room. You got dressed and had Grim resting on your head while you hugged Stitch in your arms. As you did, Stitch somehow morphed his extra 2 arms back into his body, this made you jump a little.

“So, you can morph those arms in and out?” You asked the blue creature and he nodded. “Wow, that’s very surprising. Well, time to go.”

With that, the 3 of you set off to find the bad fashion sensed and lazy headmaster. When you arrived at the headmaster’s office, Stitch had hidden himself behind your legs. You giggled and told him not to worry and went in the office together with Stitch and Grim.

Truth be told, the headmaster had let out a girlish scream when you brought Stitch into his view. The 3 of you were taken aback but the headmaster had quickly calmed down and asked you what had happened. After explaining the situation to Crowley, he decided that he will have students from Ignihyde Dorm to check out the crash and see if they can help, meanwhile, you get to have Stitch stay as your pet since you were a beast tamer after all. But in return, you must keep an eye on him 100% of the time and not allow any nonsense to happen at all.

Pfft, I think most nonsense happened because of you Crowley.

“Well, looks like we’re stuck together for now Stitch!” You said to the blue koala. “Now, you two better behave well in class later on.” You said and the three of you went to class.

After this time with Stitch, you would be lying if you said you weren’t attached to the him. Grim and him actually chatted here and there and became fast friends really quick.

Whispers and gossiping were heard once you’ve stepped foot into your classroom. You felt slightly uncomfortable, Stitch saw this and bared his fangs at the students who were gossiping about you and Stitch. Grim shot a few nasty looks here and there but nothing much.

“(Y/N), I don’t mean to be rude but, what is that?” Deuce asked you once you sat down at your usual spot, between him and Ace.

“This little cutie, is Stitch!” You said happily to the two of them.

“He’s the most adorable little creature I’ve ever seen!” You added, hugging Stitch closer to you. In return, the little blue koala-like creature snuggled close to you too.

Little did you know, a few sounds ‘tchs’ were heard from the two Heartslabyul boys beside you. However, Stitch heard them. Oh, this little creature knew what was going on when he looked up to see two jealous slightly annoyed faces looking down at him. And with that, he had concocted a plan to see how far he could annoy them.

They boy’s eyes widen as they saw Stitch had a semi-evil smile on his face as you giggled and kissed his nose. The boys were shocked! A few veins of theirs popping too! Low grumbles and mumbles were heard from the boys but you payed no attention to them as Professor Trein had walked in and began teaching.

As the bell rung, signaling that it was time for lunch. You stretched your body, arching your back after having it hunched over a table for some time. You then looked down to see a sleeping Grim and a semi-asleep Stitch. You let out a soft giggle and woke the both of them up.

“Grim, Stitch, come on, let’s go get some lunch.” And the two creatures woke up.

“Fgnaaaa! It’s eating time already? Come on, let’s go!” Grim said excitedly.

“Jeez, Grim is sure as hyper as ever.” Deuce commented.

“He better not steal my sandwich again…” Ace added and you let out a small laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him.” You said, winking to the two boys. They blushed slightly as you walked with the two creatures to the cafeteria. The boys followed behind but was met with Stitch sticking out his tongue at them behind your back.

Cue more veins popping and potentially a bad boy Deuce breaking out.

Nevertheless, the two Heartslabyul boys had scowls on their faces and kept mumbling to one another. Somethings about ‘that little alien thinks he’s so high and mighty’ and ‘how dare he have more treatment from (Y/N) than us’ were thrown here and there from them.

When you arrived at the cafeteria, Grim jumped from your head and ran in a beeline towards the line for buying food. Ace and Deuce accompanied him as you and Stitch went to find your other friends. You saw them sitting at a table when Epel had waved you over. You smiled, waved back and head towards their table.

Jack, Epel and Sebek sat and chatted when you came over, and all their eyes landed on Stitch. You noticed that and began to explain what happened last night. Once you finished, Ace, Deuce and Grim were back with their food.  

“So, he’s an alien?” Jack asked and you nodded.

“Yes, and he is the most adorable creature ever! How can you not love him?!” You let out a small squeal and once again hugging Stitch closer to you.

Multiple and I mean MULTIPLE ‘tchs’ were heard. You were too busy giving Stitch attention that you didn’t hear a single thing.

Remember when I said Stitch knew about this jealousy the boys had for him?  

With a small smirk on his face, he kissed your cheek.

Innocently.

Jaws were dropped to the ground, eyes were wide open like saucers, and the most terrible thing was,

Sandwiches and food were squeezed until they were either like a thin piece of paper or entirely inedible.

FOOD WAS WASTED. HOW COULD THEY?! QwQ

You were shocked to have Stitch kiss your cheek. You looked back at the blue koala-like creature only to see him giving you the most adorable puppy eyes ever!

“Awwww! I love you too!” You said and hugged Stitch tightly and him hugging you back, tightly as ever.

“You see what we had to deal with?!” Ace whisper-yelled to everyone and they all nodded. Well, everyone except Grim. The little furball was just happy he got his sandwich and sat there, eating happily.

You guys were chatting and eating, with the occasional glaring between Stitch and the boys of course, when Crowley came up to your table, informing you that the dorm members of Ignihyde managed to fix Stitch’s aircraft and even upgraded it.

Truth be told, you felt happy and sad at the same time. Sure, it might mean Stitch gets to go home, but it also meant that you’ll have to say goodbye to him. It might have been only a day, but you’ve grown attached to the creature and now it’s time to say goodbye.

You had stick on a smile on your face and hid your true feelings inside.

“That’s great! Well, Stitch, let’s go and see your new aircraft!” You said to Stitch and all of you went back to Ramshackle Dorm to send Stitch off.

When you arrived, the aircraft in front of you didn’t look too much different when you first saw it, but it did have a few tweaks here and there. You let Stitch inspect his new ride, checking for anything that might go wrong again before taking off.

You were painfully quiet, which didn’t go unnoticed by the boys and Grim.

When Stitch had finished inspecting, he gave you a big smile and nodded furiously, telling you that everything was okay and that he will be going shortly. You gave him a smile back.

“Well, looks like you’re going home.” You said to him and gave him a hug. He hugged you back tightly and did something very surprising.

“Ohana.” Said the blue creature. You were puzzled.

“What?” You asked Stitch as you pulled away from the hug.

“Ohana means family. (Y/N), you took me in even when you knew I wasn’t normal. You, Grim and everyone were friendly to me and didn’t try to hurt me in any way. You even helped me in this unfamiliar world and didn’t push me away. That’s why, you’re all family to me.”

“You’re my ohana.”

Tears streamed down your face when Stitch said those words. A genuine smile had formed on your face and Grim was right beside you, bawling his eyes out as well.

“Thanks Stitch, you’re ohana too.” You said as you and Grim hugged Stitch together.

The boys at the back were holding in their tears. How could they think that this sweet little creature tried to take you away from them? They felt like as if a gun struck their hearts with guilt for wanting to hurt Stitch even though he only wants someone to guide him through this unfamiliar world.

You then pulled away from the hug and let Stitch get into is aircraft. Once the engine is up, you stood back and waved goodbye to him. He smiled and waved goodbye to you too before ascending into the sky, going back to his home.

The boys came up and comforted you as you wiped your tears away.

“Listen, (Y/N), we know Stitch meant a lot to you…” Deuce started but you just shook your head.

“Don’t worry, even though my relationship with Stitch was strong, I still have a lot of ohana here.” You said and smiled to them, in return they smiled to you as well.

“Yanno, I don’t mean to ruin the mood, but, VARGAS’ CLASS STARTS IN 4 MINUTES.” Grim said to everyone and you all laughed.

“Well, we better hurry if we don’t want to get punished. I remember the last time it was Sebek and Ace who got punished and their punishments were to run 200 laps and do 300 push-ups.” You giggled at the memory and the boy’s faces paled.

“What’re we waiting for? LET’S GO!” Ace yelled.

And so the 7 of you ran as fast as you could to get to class in time.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #236: “I Want to Be an Avenger!”

October, 1983

Spider-Man -- An Avenger -- ?

Y’know, march of time and all that but this doesn’t seem as surprising as it once did.

Not much to say about this cover. It doesn’t have a lot to say about the issue other than ‘SPIDER-MAN INSIDE’ but boy does it say it.

But, oh, the logo changed and its snazzy! I quite like it!

So recent going-onses for the Avengers. Thor and Iron Man quit the team for personal business. Hawkeye broke his leg and is on medical forced-to-leave. Scarlet Witch and Vision were called in as reservists and Vision immediately got damaged by a crossover and has been in a robot-coma ever since. Starfox joined the team.

But in more positive news, they totally kicked the Wizard’s ass last issue and it cheered everyone up.

So the issue starts on a lazy summer day.

Scarlet Witch is on monitor duty, scanning for any ‘this looks like a job for the Avengers’ type calls. And multi-tasking by also thinking of her tubed husband.

Captain America takes his turn standing watch over the comatose synthezoid.

And for some reason, Cap leaning on the tube like that cracks me up.

Starfox spends his downtime trying to hit on Wasp.

His pickup line is so bad.

Wasp finds it charming in its misapprehension although it could also be the sexy beams Starfox emits from his brain.

And She-Hulk is taking a bath in a large barrel in the Avengers’ rec center, which they have. Maybe its the super hot bath?

She(-Hulk)’s also multi-tasking by looking up apartment listings while she soaks but finds that everything on the NY listings is either too small or too ritzy.

It be like that sometimes.

Jarvis comes into the rec center barrel bath area with iced tea for She-Hulk, trying to politely avert his eyes. But the intruder alarm goes off and she(-Hulk) tells Jarvis to hand her a towel and runs off to his flusterment.

Between Tigra and She-Hulk, I think poor Jarvis is getting overwhelmed with rad ladies on the Avengers.

The Avengers assemble in the main foyer and found that someone just barged in the front door and disabled the security tentacles with some sort of odd, artificial webbing.

Who could it be?

Who could possibly break into Avengers Mansion under the mistaken impression that its actually a cool way to impress them while asking for a job, showing that he’s learned nothing in years?

Could it be the person who expressed interest in joining in the previous issue? And who is also on the cover of this issue??

Yes.

Honestly, though, what an amazing splash page!

Also, spectacular and no-adjective.

Spider-Man knows how to make an impression.

Not a good one, certainly. But the Avengers aren’t going to forget the time he was casually chilling above the dining table.

And Pete isn’t going to forget it either. He’s going to wake up in a cold sweat years later still mortified at himself.

I also love it when the title of the issue is something someone said but since it has to be emphasized to make it clear its the title, they suddenly start yelling in the middle of a conversation.

She-Hulk has no patience for Spider-Man’s nonsense and grabs him off his web hammock to yell at him for barging in.

Spider-Man: “Well, I’m not exactly uninvited! Your buddy Thor asked me to join the club just a few months ago. Sure, I’m a little slow in replying, but I’ve had a busy season!”

And then he snarks about She-Hulk just wearing a towel because Spider-Man loves low hanging fruit.

SURELY, Spidey knows that offers usually expire, right? A few months ago is forever in comic time and Thor himself isn’t even on the Avengers right now.

I guess, in fairness, he has his reasons.

Besides his usual perpetual poverty liking the sound of a thousand bucks a week.

As he later muses to himself, Black Cat has been hospitalized because she tried to help him and he feels obligated to pay for her not-cheap medical bills. And he’s already quit grad school to spend more time earning but his freelance paychecks are nothing compared to an Avengers salary.

He’s being an incredibly presumptuous dick... but for a good cause.

And its just like Spidey that he has a good reason for being a jerk that he’d never mention leaving everyone to think he’s just a rude goofus.

What a shame.

Anyway, back at the present, Spider-Man asks where he enlists but Cap tells them that unfortunately their roster is full up. The sixth spot is being held open for Hawkeye when his leg stops being broken (and you think he was moany about being sidelined while his leg was broken, imagine him learning that he was replaced, eesh).

Cap does suggest that Spider-Man could join Starfox in the trainee program but Spidey throws a fit.

Spider-Man: “Trainee program?!? Hey, I’m Spider-Man, remember? I was sticking to walls when you guys were still looking for a clubhouse. I’m no green rookie!”

Starfox: “Green -- ? I take offense at your tone, Spider-Man!”

She-Hulk: “There’s nothing wrong with being green.”

Pffft.

As an actual rookie who is physically green, She-Hulk doesn’t care for that phrase, maybe.

She-Hulk and Starfox possibly beating up or more likely being embarrassed by Spider “will punk the entire X-Men in the not too distant future” Man is interrupted by a priority alert that goes ARROOOOOOOO

... Is it the Nixon alarm?

Why haven’t the Avengers fought Nixon’s head on a war mech yet??

Spider-Man offers to give them a hand if their priorities are being alerted but with this particular alarm, Wasp decides its best if they stick to the rules.

And then She-Hulk chases Spidey out by throwing a chair at him.

Spider-Man: Well, that was certainly a wash-out! Maybe I shouldn’t have come on as such a wise guy... Maybe I should have come to the door all humble and contrite. Nah, they wouldn’t have believed it was me!

.... Hah.

But he sees the third-floor of Avenger’s mansion opening up to launch the Quinjet and fount of good decision making that he is, he decides to jump onto the Quinjet as it launches.

Spider-Man: Whew! This baby is really starting to pick up speed! I feel like I’m in a wind tunnel. My sticky fingers can hold onto just about anything under normal circumstances... boy, I wish these were normal circumstances! I wonder if this was such a good idea.

No, Pete, it wasn’t.

But your inner monologues do add a bit more joy to this issue so I forgive you.

Inside the Quinjet, She-Hulk notes that the controls handled a bit sluggish right after take-off but eh whatever the problem disappeared after they went supersonic.

Huh. I wonder if Pete is ok.

Anyway, Captain America, She-Hulk, and Starfox are headed towards Project Pegasus.

Since it hasn’t come up in Avengers yet, Project Pegasus is a government research facility that seeks out new types and sources of energy. And Cap helped organize their security force back in Marvel Two-in-One #42.

The priority alert wasn’t the highest priority. Just a code-five, indicating a low-grade emergency. But it didn’t come with any details so Cap is vexed.

Three Avengers should be enough for a code-five but problems at Project Pegasus tend to balloon into worse problems.

You wouldn’t think a research facility would attract so much negative attention but as Cap points out, there’s a lot of people who have a vested interested in making sure energy stays scarce, expensive, and presumably non-renewable.

And considering that the oil companies like Roxxon are EVEN MORE BLATANTLY EVIL in the Marvel U, yeah, uh, bad shit is going to occur.

Also, Project Pegasus doubles as a place to jail supervillains so their powers can be studied.

So, yeah, Pegasus having a priority alert probably means a headache.

So these three Avengers are going in but Wasp and Scarlet Witch are on stand-by just in case.

The visit to the super secure research station goes off to a bad start when guards rush the Quinjet when it lands because a foreign object was detected on the undercarriage.

Of course it’s Spider-Man.

But before he can be arrested for breaking into a secure facility, his spider-sense buzzed.

It’d be a bit confusing if it wasn’t buzzing before though. He has a bunch of rattled guards pointing guns at him right after some unexplained emergency has happened.

That doesn’t set off the Peter Tingle at all??

Anyway, since the buzz is pretty intense, he figures that its warning him of something “a lot more dangerous than the lecture Cap’s going to give me!”

Hah!

He doesn’t manage to warn anyone before a tremor knocks (almost) everyone off their feet with a THROOM

Spider-Man is still standing because he loves Elton John forewarned is forewarned and he can stick to things. And to his surprise, Cap manages to stay on his feet.

Cap: “It’s just a matter of knowing how to react and how to brace yourself, Spider-Man.”

Hah!

That’s So Cap.

Spider-Man asks if he realio trulio can’t give Cap a hand with this situation. Y’know, since his spider-sense probably will come in handy. Cap isn’t sure because of the question of security but Spider-Man has an idea there.

See, he’s been here before!

In Marvel Team-Up Annual #5 he helped save the dang place! They can ask chief of security Wendell Vaughn (who is also known as Quasar but probably not to all the people in this scene?).

Unfortunately, Vaughn quit a couple months back. Oops.

But since Cap vouches for him the guard driving them to the lower levels is like ‘eh whatever.’

The power of a Cap vouch is not to be underestimate and never to be used for evil.

They’re headed to the thermal research dome because its the last known location of new security chief O’Brien. And where he sent the alert from. AND where the recent quake came from.

That’s good multitasking.

They reach the blast doors sealing off the entire level.

Because yes, not only did O’Brien send an alert, he also sealed off the entire level and now something’s jammed the lock.

They have no idea what could be locked behind there but they do have a Spider-Man and Starfox asks him if he’s getting a bad feeling about anything.

Spider-Man isn’t getting any bad vibes, deeming it safe to go inside.

Y’know, this is an amazing way to use Spider-Sense that they could do more with. I always love it when Spidey basically exploits the sense for things other than combat dodging.

Like when trying to figure out how to turn off a device he didn’t understand in Avengers EMH, he just went around almost yanking wires until he found one that didn’t set off the ‘OH MY GOD YOU’LL DEFINITELY EXPLODE IF YOU DO THAT’ buzz.

Anyway, it being probably safe, Cap tells She-Hulk and Starfox to open the door.

Which they do, with gusto.

And a GRU-U-UNNG

Inside the ruins of the thermal research dome, a bunch of semi-conscious technicians lie about in heaps.

Some Project Pegasus security personnel fan out to do administer first aid while the Avengers look for O’Brien.

Makes sense. The nameless extras help the nameless extras so we don’t go ‘hey are the Avengers dicks for only talking to people with names?’

O’Brien is pinned under an arc of steaming rock which Cap starts chipping in half with his shield while She-Hulk, Spider-Man, and Starfox - all people who could lift that rock - just stand and watch.

Or heck, maybe its not supposed to be a random rock arc. Maybe its attached to the floor. Still though, She-Hulk, Spider-Man, and Starfox could probably break it more easily than Cap does.

Teamwork makes the dream work, guys and She-Hulk.

Spider-Man recognizes O’Brien’s green and also green Not-Iron Man armor from newspapers and realizes that he’s the Guardsman.

That just makes O’Brien sad.

Guardsman: “Aye, I am... or I was. The state this armor’s in, no one’ll ever be callin’ himself the Guardsman again! As of now, I’m just plain Michael O’Brien.”

The Michael Formerly Known as Guardsman starts to Explain It All.

He had come down to the thermal dome to watch the thermal dome researchers sink a new magma tap.

But molten rock came shooting up from the tap hole, which is a thing that’s definitely not supposed to happen.

Oh, and some molten men (but not Molten Man) climbed out of the hole and started trashing the joint.

Plain Michael O’Brien realized pretty quickly that he was the only one who could stand up to these hot men so he signaled for help, hit the evacuation alarm, and sealed off the level from the rest of the project so the problem was contained.

And then he got mobbed by the hot men and got his ass kicked. Turns out that his armor was pretty useless against lava men.

Oh, yeah, Cap recognizes them as lava men from his description.

Spider-Man: “Lava men? You have to be kidding, Cap! Lava men? I don’t believe in lava men!”

Cap: “Belay that, mister! I’ve been up against lava men -- and they’re nothing to joke about! You’d better thank your stars that they left -- !”

You might also remember that Cap has been up against lava men allllllll the way back in Avengers #5. Technically the first adventure he had with the Avengers after officially joining them.

It was also the issue where Thor stoically sank into lava without changing his expression from his default vaguely annoyed one.

Anyway, O’Brien tells the Avengers that the lava men battered their way into the maintenance section since they couldn’t escape to the rest of the facility.

It’s a real good news bad news situation because there’s no one for them to hurt in there and also its a straight shot into the nuclear research dome.

And we don’t want any kind of meltdown there.

Cap decides that this looks like a job for AVENGERS to ASSEMBLE towards. And more than the three plus special guest star they already have.

MEANWHILE, over in New Orleans at an important meeting that definitely would be bad to interrupt, Monica Rambeau (secretly the Avenger known as Captain Marvel but not the dead guy version, true believers) is applying for a small business loan.

And then she gets a bzzt on her radio watch for an Avengers emergency.

Oh no, what of her small business loan!

And also: what small business is she starting? I think I heard at one point that she ran a fishing business with her father?

But what of her small business loan!

Well, Monica agrees with her bank guy Mr. Hillbee that its an alarm watch and that its reminding her of another pressing engagement so hey is there a lot more that they have to do here?

Luckily, all that’s left is for her to sign the documents.

Phew, I’m very used to superhero stuff interrupting a superhero’s civilian life and then them angsting about it. It’s actually a relief that Monica was able to finish up at the bank before dashing off to a phone booth to take a radio watch call with Scarlet Witch.

Wanda tells Monica that they just received a call from Cap(tain America) telling them to get to Project Pegasus. Wanda tells Monica that they’re in transit now and asks if she can join them.

And then the line goes dead before Wanda can give coordinates.

Because Monica just followed the radio signal back to the Quinjet.

She apologizes that it took her so long (!!) because she had to stop at home first to pick up her costume.

Wanda marvels captainly “And I thought my brother, Pietro, was fast!”

Ha ha amazing.

I love Captain Monica Marvel’s ridiculous powerset.

She’s even talking right into their radio so she can communicate from outside the Quinjet.

Wasp, Scarlet Witch, and Captain Marvel arrive at Project Pegasus where they’re briefed of the lava men situation by some of the security staff.

Captain Marvel nyooms ahead lightspeed dash style while Wasp and Scarlet Witch lag behind by taking a high-speed railcar.

Dang, Project Pegasus is big.

I just flipped ahead pages to see how long it takes Captain Marvel to join Cap(tain America)’s group and its a bit.

I guess maybe there’s some overlapped time going on though.

Meanwhile, two technicians in research dome D-2 (called the Compound for some dang reason) ignore all the various alarms and such that have been happening because they’re super into their project. And are possibly mad scientists.

They have the intensity.

But they’re working on... Dr. Croit’s stabilizer? And apparently its vibratory pitch was changed by the tremor that happened? Unbeknowst to them, Captain Marvel just nyoomed by outside and the proximity of her energy form activates the device and the silhouette of some guy leaps out proclaiming FREE!!

Back at the Avengers side of the plot, Cap(tain America)’s group has encountered some lava men.

Spider-Man: “Hey, Cap... I take it all back! I do believe in lava men! I really do!”

Hah.

The lava men are between the Avengers and the nuclear dome so Cap starts thinking of ways to flank them so they can keep them away from it.

She-Hulk starts trying to plow a hole through their forces and... uh.... ok. Cap has Starfox just fly around and annoy the lava men because they’ve never seen a flying man before and its just freaking them out.

Really.

Cap asks Spider-Man to use his webbing to throw up some barriers in the lava men’s path.

Spider-Man: “Heck, I can do better than that, Cappy! Just a couple spritzes of webbing, and these little hotheads won’t be going anywhere for hours!”

Cap: “No, you young fool! Don’t you see what you’ve done!”

Throwing web on the lava men makes them panic because it seems like there’s a lot of stuff that they’re not familiar with and all of it alarms them. When they’re alarmed, their body temperature raises and can get up thousands of degrees.

So they just melt loose of the webbing and now they’ve learned not to be afraid of the webbing at all and they can’t use it to corral them.

Spider-Man: “Would it help if I said I’m sorry?”

Cap: “It would help if you’d follow orders! The Avengers is a team! If you want to be part of the team, act like it! Otherwise, stay out of our way!”

Yeahhhhh. I mean, most of the time. You have your fair share of idiots doing their own thing in the Avengers because all of these guys have egos you wouldn’t believe. But generally they can agree to work as a team.

And Spider-Man, of this era, isn’t much of a team player. Not like Wolverine or Batman ‘i work best alone, bub’ type of not a team player where they’re lying about not being good at teamwork because they like being surly and dour because they think it makes them more interesting. But Spider-Man mostly works alone and is used to just doing whatever he thinks the best idea is. And he has the proportionate speed and reflexes of a spider so he can do whatever he thinks the best idea is way before you can tell him its a bad idea.

That’s why Spider-Man makes so many bad decisions, because he can make them faster than good sense can catch up [citation needed].

Anyway, as he is NOW, he’s not a good fit for the Avengers.

Then again, neither was Hawkeye and they let him join. Makes ya think.

Back over at surprise man out of a box lab, the surprise man was Blackout.

He looks like he’d be an electricity themed villain but apparently his element is darkness. Annd he debuted in Nova annnd this is his second appearance?

At the end of his debut story Nova #19, Blackout was apparently sucked into the Darkforce dimension, a fate that Dr. Croit’s stabilizer had been invented to prevent.

So I guesss.... the stabilizer’s settings were altered by an earthquake and then it was powered by ambient energy from Captain Marvel zipping past and it managed to stabilize Blackout, yanking him free of the Darkforce dimension?

I guess??

As far as villain returns go, its not the most ridiculous but it is a bit contrived.

Blackout has no idea where he is and rants about how he’ll level the place if that’s what it takes to find his way out and in a more acceptable contrivance, he happens to be passing Moonstone’s cell when he says this out loud to nobody in particular and she likes the cut of his jib.

Moonstone: “Sounds like you’re a man after my own heart!”

Moonstone tells Blackout that she’s been locked up here so Project Pegasus could study her powers and that they want to use her the way they would have used Blackout but hey what if they join forces and get some comeuppance.

Blackout: I don’t know if I should trust her... But something about her voice is so reassuring.

Yeah, that’s what we call a red flag, you dingus.

Are we back to the days where some dudes will just villain because a lady bats her eyes?

Anyway, the locking mechanism is too complicated to figure out so Blackout just squeezes it until it explodes.

Um. Okay.

-checks wiki-

The wiki says he’s only supposed to have normal human strength but Blackout himself claims that his body is a living generator of black star energies.

Which apparently means he can squeeze an electronic lock to death. I dunno.

Freed from her cell, Moonstone leads Blackout to what they can do next.

Meanwhile, the Avengers are still struggling with the lava men two levels below. And the fracas has reached the corridor to the nuclear dome. Its now or never but the numbers are too overwhelming even for She-Hulk.

Spider-Man manages to leap above the fray and get forgotten in the confusion but doesn’t find that he can do much. He tries webbing the door to the nuclear dome shut but the lava men don’t even bother opening it when they can melt through.

Hmmmmm not a good showing for a guest starring so far...

When the lava men succeed in melting through the door, a blinding light shines through and the lava men kneel down and start bowing to it.

Ohhhhhh, I get it! They’re not trying to cause a meltdown! They just want to worship nuclear light!

... No? I don’t got it? Okay.

The bright light is actually Captain Marvel who took a shortcut to the nuclear dome to reach the Avengers.

And the lava men are really enamored with her, proclaiming her the lady of light foretold in legends.

Captain Marvel just kinda rolls with this and asks them whats the deal with all the rampaging and destroying.

Lava man: “We did but strike back, radiant one! Our village, deep beneath the Earth, knew peace -- until the surface men bored into our midst with their machines. We could not allow this attack to go unanswered. We only used our powers to stop the invasion!”

Wait, isn’t this the plot of the Jetsons movie?

Cap(tain America) smoothly slides in, diplomatically, to announce that then the surface people beg forgiveness and that this has all been an unfortunate misunderstanding that he pledges shall be put right.

And like how Cap’s clout got Spider-Man into this story, Cap borrows Captain Marvel’s clout to back up his diplomacy roll, saying “The Lady-of-Light will tell you that I speak the truth!”

It’s a good thing that Monica wouldn’t go mad with power.

Also, Scarlet Witch and Wasp show up, while Spider-Man snarks that they “missed the end of the movie.”

But since we can’t have pat resolutions given the subplot that was happening while the Avengers were distracted elsewhere, in the Compound, it turns out that Blackout and Moonstone have freed Electro and Rhino. And Moonstone has a Big Evil Plan.

Blackout: “Pay them back? Yes... yes, we must. But how?”

Moonstone: “In the best way possible! We’re going to bring this place to its knees -- by seizing the nuclear research dome!”

But that’s where the Avengers are! Silly villains, you’ve double booked!

Also, I wonder if the universe cosmically influenced Moonstone to get two Spider-villains involved on the one day that Spider-Man was tagging along.

I also wonder what Moonstone is thinking. She’s the ‘know when to fold ‘em’ villain.

Hmmm... Putting Electro and Blackout side by side makes Blackout look like Electro’s grumpy younger brother.

All kinds of good decisions have been made!

Follow @essential-avengers​ for more thoughts on villain couture. Also like and reblog so I can feel like I did a good job.

[phoenotopia]

2020 October Update

So... we've launched. And our launch was... actually kind of... bad...

This is a dev blog, so I'll speak on it. But before that, we do have the game's steam page up. If you're anticipating the PC release, please do visit the steam page and add it to your wish list. It would help us a lot.

VISIT STEAM LINK

...

So what didn't go so well?

1. We launched in Nintendo's Americas and Europe territory. If you've been following the release, you'd know that America got the game first. We didn't move to launch in Europe at all since I thought the EFIGS languages (English, French, Italian, German, Spanish) were pre-requisites for Europe. By the time I learned that this wasn't necessarily the case, and attempted to course correct, the damage was done. We had half the allotment of keys to do outreach, and maybe some European outlets that would've covered us, did not.

2. When the game launched, rather than a victory lap, what we experienced was more of a public lashing. We did get some reviews that praised the game highly, but just as many reviews lampooned the game for its high difficulty or other failings. I've since released two patches (or 3, depending on how you count it) to address the difficulty. A lot of overnighters. If you recall in the last blog post, I thought it'd be a good start if we got 20 or so reviews on Open Critic. But we've only 8 as of this writing, and the aggregate score isn't so hot. So that's a fail by my metric.

3. A publisher reached out to us because they were interested in physically printing the game! Yay! But... to advance our talks, they wanted to see the game's sales numbers to ensure that there's a good chance their investment could be recouped. And unfortunately, the game's sales numbers are pretty low. They backed out :(

Some hard lessons were learned. The biggest lesson for me concerns how well we playtested the game. Looking at the original playtester list, it's a short list. You may recall from a previous blog post that our ability to test was severely hampered by technical limitations. Add to that, a lot of people on this list are objectively really achieved players. We're talking power ranked in Smash Bros, regular tournament goers, and people who've played and bested every Souls game. And as the maker of the game, I am most blind to the game's challenges.

Now, I'm definitely more of the opinion that you prioritize PC development first. I still have some reservations about some stages of PC development. But if you do PC/Steam first, you have the great benefit of being able to do Early Access, which gives you access to a greater testing pool. I now view it as an invaluable part of the equation. If we had been able to do Early Access for 1 or 2 months before release, we probably could have ironed out most of the game's difficulty and balance problems. Hard lessons, indeed.

There were a lot of other notable events that occurred over the past 2 months - the travails of press outreach, realizing my own limits as a developer, feeling defeated and getting back up again, etc. There's too much stuff to chronicle or go into detail. But it wasn't all bad.

Some good things did happen...

We got a publisher to publish for Japan! It came as a huge relief, because clearly, we don't know what the heck we're doing.

The publisher has been an invaluable source of information and feedback. They've recommended some changes to the game to improve user experience. Some of these changes I was hesitant to do at first because they concerned systems I thought integral to the identity of the game. But after trying it, I have to admit, they're good changes.

So a Japanese version of the game was moving ahead. And it looked like that'd be it. I wasn't planning to move forward with any other language translations due to the game's low sales and our funds being depleted. 

But, I was approached by a translator who urged me to move ahead with translations. He told me he was willing to work for only a small price initially and then be paid the rest after from a percentage of the game's sales until the cost of the translation was paid in full.

I was surprised translators were willing to work under such a model since it's entirely likely the game's current low sales trajectory would continue and they wouldn't earn back the full cost of translation. But I was also flattered they were willing to take a risk with me. After that, I approached some others with the same hypothetical deal, and long story short, we're now moving forward with French, German, Spanish, Portuguese and Russian translations. As for why these languages in particular, they were languages for whom I had contacts (because they reached out to me at some point in the past). And also because they were deemed more likely to be profitable based on their home country's gaming market/buying habits. I'd be personally happy to have my native language be represented, but it's not expected to be a profitable territory. But if the game does better in the future, it may justify the costs of translation. There could be a chance!

The plan right now is to get the game supporting these first round of languages and then to patch that into the Switch version as well as launch the PC version with these languages - all in December. A lot of things need to align for this to occur, so a delay isn't out of the question. It'll be busy... I'll update the blog again in latter half of December, probably near the game's PC launch date... OR to announce a delay. Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Fan Support

While the past two months have been grueling, one good thing remains constant - fan art! Thank you everyone who submitted. It means a lot to me and the team!

Big thanks to Pimez who's taken on watching over the reddit community as moderator. He also combs the other communities and makes sure I see every new art piece. Despite juggling his own life and all these tasks, he still found some time to draw.

Pimez's piece reminds us that just because the new game's out doesn't mean we can't still celebrate the original flash game. The jail dog is a dog found only in jail and only in the flash game. I imagine Gail is just tossing a stick, and they're playing fetch.

A new artist to this scene æv draws both the Phoenix logo AND a super cute picture of Gail playing the flute. So precious, you want to pinch her cheek. Even the Sand Drake is enthralled!

Another new artist, beet4ppy arrives on the scene with two pictures! One features a no-nonsense battle-hardened Gail looking stoic and tough! Kinda reminds me of Vinland Saga actually. The other, a more cheerful group composition - I must say I'm a big fan of Fran's classic anime-style eye!

A returning artist, Cody G, returns with a picture depicting the tribulations of cooking. Gotta love Gail's frantic expression! I've heard the complaints, which is why we've added an option to slow the cooking mini-game down. An improved button font is also on the way.

Gamesing with two undertale x phoenotopia crossovers. Thomas being a robot builder makes sense taking a role similar to Alphys. But why is Alex dressed like a clown? Perhaps there is a hidden meaning here... 

A new artist, Warotar, draws both a pooki wearing Gail's clothes and Gail wearing pooki clothes. Awww. The pooki is a bit scary - it kinda reminds me of a tragic event in a certain anime. But the Gail is adorable!

POL#5655 submitted this one to KM's discord which made its way to me. Here, a stylized Gail appears unnerved by the dark red eyes stalking her in the background. Are they bats or something more sinister?

A new artist, MilesCPW, arrives on the scene with three rare well-vectorized arts! Love it! One scene depicts Gail balancing a bomb on her head - that's a speedrunning trick I only learned about recently after someone emailed me a video O_O

The other drawing gives us new insight into Katash - he could actually look cute if he wasn't trying to kill you.

And the bees... Okay, this one got a chuckle from me :D

A returning artist roccy_chair draws this heart-warming scene from the beginning of the new game. Aww. Mika doesn't get much screen time for story reasons, so it's nice to see her represented.

UnrealWorld_32 returns with another drawing of Gail in Panselo, this time capturing a more idyllic time. I like the tranquil nature of this piece. And Gail does in fact play the guitar, denoted by the guitar in her room.

Returning artist shafiyahh draws a nice portrait of Prince Leo - looking regal and princely. I like the storybook art style of this piece. It made me immediately think of "the Little Prince" - one of my favorite books actually!

Negativus Core returns with a beautiful group composition of Gail and the gang - flying from a Switch shaped window - totally sensible considering the game is only Switch right now. As usual, I'm impressed by Negativus Core's use of challenging angles to frame a more dynamic shot of the characters. Great job!

And it wasn't only artists bearing the banner. I'd like to give a big shoutout to everyone in all the game's little communities (from the reddit to the discords to this tumblr). I've seen this community help newcomers with gameplay and walkthrough advice, discussions, updating the wiki, and so on. It does bring a smile to my face. Thank you everyone!

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 1: Welcome to Comic Event Hell

You know what readers love? When the stories they’ve gotten invested in over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

And you know what writers love? When the story they’ve been crafting over the course of a couple years get interrupted for some pseudo-crossover bullshit.

Did I say love?

Because I didn’t mean it.

“Dark Cybertron” was penned by John Barber and James Roberts, with collaboration with comic writer and artist Phil Jimenez, and was published from early November, 2013 to late March, 2014. Atilio Rojo, James Raiz, and Livio Ramondelli did the art, each responsible for scenes in specific locations, with Robert Gill filling in as needed. Alex Milne, Andrew Griffith, and Brendan Cahill would also contribute pencils to the first issue and the back half of the series. It was a celebration of the 30th anniversary of the franchise, and the second birthday of Phase Two... which went on for over four months, but never mind that!

Both "Dark Cybertron” and its preliminary materials were made to go alongside the Transformers: Generations toy-line, each issue being included as a toy pack-in with whatever character was being featured… or, at least, that was the plan. Sometimes it didn’t work out. Regardless, this storyline was created to sell toys directly, as opposed to the MTMTE/RID series being made to sell toys more through the power of suggestion. It’s a small distinction, but important, because it will help explain any lack of soul one may perceive while they read “Dark Cybertron”.

“But Hannz!” you cry out, reaching to grab me by the throat and shake me like a rag doll, because to you I’m merely a faceless voice on the internet. “Surely by calling this specific storyline soulless, you’re completely ignoring the very nature of this franchise that you’re almost uncomfortably invested in!”

To which I’ll say this: look, I’m pretty realistic about where my giant space robots came from; Transformers as a franchise would not exist the way it does without Ronald Reagan introducing the Free Market to literal children and fucking up how we interact with media for the rest of time. There is no ethical consumption under capitalism, and that rings especially true when I’ve got a Spinister on my bookshelf staring me down as I write this, that was likely made out of plastics which either involved blood oil or unethical labor practices, if not both.

However!

The choices of a company to have their comic license holders to cook up an entire plot that derails what they’ve already got planned out for toy tie-in comics is a completely different animal than what IDW had had going on up to this point. Phase Two had been about exploring different ideas that hadn’t been able to be explored during the war, and seeing what happens when you take away a third of the logline for Transformers G1 as a whole. Being a part of a brand of toys was almost inconsequential to how the stories were being told; even the Spotlights, which were also toy tie-in comics, had plenty of charm to them, if only because there weren’t quite as many constraints placed on the writers, and they were stand-alone issues.

Of course, being tie-in comics isn’t the only reason that “Dark Cybertron” is a bit of a slog, considering everything IDW itself was trying to get done within this storyline, but we’ll cover the publishing company’s/Simon Furman’s/Transformers’ tumultuous relationship with the concept of gender identity and expression later on, when it becomes relevant to the story proper. This point also ties into the interesting origin of Windblade, who we’ll meet in a few issues, and what happens when you let your fanbase have a taste of power and forget that people might like to see themselves represented in the media they consume.

“Dark Cybertron” is what ended up making me stop reading MTMTE the first time I tried it in 2015. A big part of it was because it forced the reader to need so much information from RID and even events prior to Phase Two, it wasn’t very fun to try to parse what was going on, on top of the writing beginning to flag because of obvious constraints to what Barber and Roberts could actually do, both within their deadlines and the rules put in place by their higher ups for the event.

 “Dark Cybertron” is the result of the sort of executive meddling that kills reader enjoyment by requiring writers to cram their two worlds together as quickly as possible, without the option to go for nuance because there simply isn’t time. The reason we have four separate artists for the front half of this story is because Milne and Griffith didn’t have time to draw both their current workload and “Dark Cybertron” at the same time... but sales probably went up due to the nature of how the story was published, so I’m sure they didn’t really see a problem with it.

That’s a general “they”, not a Milne and Griffith “they”.

In short, we’ve got license contract obligations, fan-poll obligations, and gender stuff fighting for space within the next 12 issues, which will be published in the span of roughly four months. Things are probably going to be a little bloated and sloppy.

Regardless of any of these points, this is what we’ve got. It’s not like it’s all bad- “Dark Cybertron” has the benefit of being written by two people who had been working closely before it had even been conceptualized. Barber was the senior editor for MTMTE, and IDW as a whole until he left in 2016. It also isn’t a proper crossover- y’know, where two completely separate titles get mashed together for a bit. MTMTE and RID exist in the same universe, just have their own things going on, so a decent amount of things still carry over without you needing to have read every single thing in both. The writing, while not quite up to par with pieces that had more creative freedom and breathing room between scenes, is still recognizable as being Barber and Roberts’. Their voices are still here, they’re just strained under the weight of everything that has to be said inside of 12 issues.

With all THAT out of the way, let’s dive in to Dark Dawn: Dark Cybertron Chapter 1.

We get a quick rundown of the most basic information you’ll need for this entire story to make sense, as we reintroduce the fact that Shockwave is an ecoterrorist with more agendas than a daily planner factory on meth, and also that he grows magic crystals. I don’t care what he says, the Ores are fucking space-magic. If you don’t want to read through all of RID for everything else, please see Robots in Disguise (2012), #1-22- A Recap, For Reference Purposes.  We also get a quick rundown of the Lost Lighters’ deal, as Swerve potentially has a meta-episode.

Be careful what you fucking wish for, bucko.

Our story proper starts with a flashback to the shittiest road trip Cyclonus ever went on, as the Ark 1 finds itself at the edge of a mysterious portal. This is likely why he wasn’t super thrilled when the portal to Luna 1 showed up- portals are probably a touchy subject for him.

Jhiaxus doesn’t know what this portal is- surely this means that science has failed us, and it’s time to call in the religious crowd to try and suss out what’s going on here.

It’s moments like this that make me wonder what exactly happened in the Dead Universe that made Cyclonus’ cheek meat just pack up and leave.

Now, we know that Cyclonus is correct here, because we as readers have more knowledge than the characters at this point, but Jhiaxus tries to write off this theory as hogwash, because he is a man of rationality and science. This is a slight removal from his character in the present, whose most notable traits seem to be a lack of ethics and screaming.

Everyone here seems to be slightly different from their current iterations, actually; Galvatron doesn’t say a word as he steps between Jhiaxus and Cyclonus, only using his body to communicate that the scientist might want to back off. Cyclonus himself is certainly the wordiest we’ve ever seen him to be, droning on through his actual thought process before he comes to a conclusion on what exactly they’ve found. Compare this to the Cyclonus of today, who only deigns to grace everyone with his voice if they outright threaten him, have something he wants, or are Tailgate. If he were to ever pull this verbal meandering on board the Lost Light, people would probably assume he’s having a stroke.

Nova Prime- you remember him, don’t you?- gives not a fuck about the Dead Universe, only what it means for him personally. And what it means for him is more locations to subjugate, because he is cartoonishly evil. His character is the least removed from his present-day iteration out of everyone. He tells the crew they’ll be getting a little closer, only for the portal to do the work for them, by way of dark energy tentacles.

Wow, the pilot for the Ark 1 really is just straight-up named Butt, isn’t he? And what the fuck is that face you’re making, Cyclonus? Are you- oh my god, are you emoting? Oh my god, he’s emoting.

As the Ark 1 is pulled to its doom, Jhiaxus makes a quick phone call to Shockwave to tell him he’s his favorite, and to keep up the good work.

In the present, Shockwave reflects on just how friggin’ long this whole ordeal has taken. Fortunately, Waspinator and the Titan are almost here, and he can hardly wait.

Not, uh, that he’s got emotions or anything. It’s been established that he doesn’t have those anymore. Is impatience an emotion? Does that count?

Shockwave seems like he’d be really frustrating to write for.

Anyway, the Titan shows up, the Ore inside him and the Ore in the underground Crystal City combine, and the Titan starts screaming because everything hurts. Shockwave’s about as thrilled as he can be about the situation, given his lack of emotions.

Above Crystal City, we finally get back to that nonsense about the early sunrise, as someone- maybe Starscream, given the color of the narration box- waxes poetic on the planet of Cybertron, wartorn and wild in its rebirth, ruled by paranoia that has nothing to bounce off of, and so creates its own walls.

Then we get a detailed shot of Rattrap’s mug, and the moment is broken.

Rattrap’s character is a lot of fun in everything he gets tossed into, but you’re a goddamn liar if you think he’s pretty to look at. You are lying to yourself, and I won’t apologize for saying it.

Starscream walks out of his room in his hot new body, feeling fine and ready to take on the world. We’ll check in on him later in the day to see how that positive mentality is working out for him.

So, the sun hasn’t moved, and it’s way too early for the sun to even be up right now. That’s weird. Because I guess he didn’t know how the sun works, Starscream’s only just realized that this is perhaps a problem. He does some computer work and realizes that this is indeed a very bad thing, and asks that Rattrap call the Autobots. Not the ones who fucked off into the wilderness, the other ones. The gay, space ones.

Up in space, Orion Pax and his pals have found themselves in dire straits, the collapsing Gorlam Prime sucking their ship back down as the Death Ore consumes everything.

That’s not how engines work! And I think it really says something about the “Prelude” issues that I completely forgot why Wheelie was down an arm for a solid five seconds.

It turns out that Orion was the narrator the entire time, which I should have known- since when is the once and future Optimus Prime not the primary voice in any media he appears in?

It’s looking rough for the fellas, but luckily we’ve got to get the plot rolling, so the Lost Light VZZZZTs into existence and picks up the Skyroller to place it gently into its belly.

Orion isn’t exactly jazzed about the fact that Rodimus didn’t listen to what he told him, not even bothering to thank the guy for saving his life. I say y’all keep going on your Thunderclash Quest and leave this ungrateful loser behind. No space yachting for you, Orion.

The rest of the Pax Posse enter the Lost Light proper, and Hardhead reveals that he nearly joined the Quest, before he saw who all would be coming with, while Garnak has a tearful reunion with Rodimus. The fact that he’s calling him Sir- which I don’t recall him doing in Transformers (2009), at least not in a way that seems reminiscent of an unfortunate Antebellum Period Romance- feels rather weird, but I’m glad someone’s fucking happy to see Rodimus at least. Ultra Magnus asks Orion if he’ll be assuming command of the vessel, as Rodimus tries not to look horrified by the thought alone, but fortunately Orion’s not going to pull his “I’m Optimus Prime and I Can Do What I Want” Card just yet.

Smash cut to the bridge, as Rodimus tries to make himself sound competent, when Starscream calls. Orion doesn’t like that Starscream has their number, Perceptor almost reveals the fact that this ship technically doesn’t belong to a faction, likely due to being purchased after the war, and Cyclonus gets brought in for his professional opinion.

As it turns out, that early sunrise isn’t a sunrise at all, but a portal to the Dead Universe. This is a problem, because the Dead Universe really sucks, and you don’t want to go there, especially if you enjoy being alive. Orion seems more concerned about the fact that Starscream is ruling the planet, and Bumblebee is nowhere to be found.

Speaking of Bumblebee, he and all his camp buddies are psyching themselves up for a confrontation.

Swoop, please, this is hardly the time for crudeness.

The Dinobots, sick of Bumblebee’s dithering about, decide they’re going to fight the fucking sun and gear up. Prowl, though generally disliking their brand of problem-solving, does share his begrudging respect of their can-do attitude.

Their can-do attitude over fighting the fucking sun.

Then an earthquake happens and the ground rips open to reveal that Titan that Waspinator showed up with.

Shockwave takes over the narration at this point, and we get artsy, as we see events that haven’t transpired yet over musings on the nature of... time? Maybe? It would be in line with Roberts’ go-to topics, but honestly the whole thing’s kind of vague so I couldn’t give you a solid answer. Shockwave gets awfully introspective for a guy who shouldn’t care, I know that much. The point is, he is inevitable and is super good at logic and science.

Also, Nova Prime and Galvatron are back, which is cool, I guess. Not sure where Galvatron had gotten to exactly after the events of “Chaos”, but he’s back now, so it doesn’t matter too terribly much. Shockwave serves them, which we’ll probably get an explanation for at some point.

God, you can practically taste the desperation to pin all these plot points together before the entire thing implodes on itself.

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Superman & Lois - Ep. 102 “Heritage”

In which the Sad Dad vibes and teen angst continues!

Spoilers!

Lois gets the opening and closing narration this week! And generally has more to do, which is nice.

The fam has officially moved to Smallville, so the boys are gearing up to start school...or are they???

Well, Jon is. Jordan is told he has to stay home until he can get his nascent powers under control because they don’t want him to accidentally flash frying a classmate. Which he almost did. Last week. 

Clark calls Jordan’s accidental heat vision an ‘ocular release of energy.’

This decision, of course, leads to some FAMILY DRAMA. Jordan feels like a freak! Jonathan is upset that they’ve had to move! Clark feels like he’s failing as a parent!

Oh and also the guy in the Master Chief suit is on the hunt for Kryptonite. Which is, you know. Troubling.

SO it’s off to school for Jonathan and off to the Fortress for Jordan!

Lois, upon Jonathan asking why Jordan gets to go flying with dad: “At least we have the radio!”

One plus side about the show being ‘grounded’ and ‘prestige-y’: the high school drama is of a more believable variety. Still tedious, but at least it’s not dated 90s tropes.

...Well, okay. Not entirely true. Sarah Cushing’s personality thus far is ‘nice girl who’s dating a jerk’ and yes, the line “What do you see in that guy?” is said aloud. So.

Win some, lose some.

MEANWHILE, AT THE FORTRESS:

Love the actor they got for Jor-El. He’s perfect, in that he feels like an homage to Brando, Crowe, but is also his own distinct version. I dig it. 

But there’s no giant key made of dwarf star matter because this is GROUNDED and REALISTIC and none of that SILLY CW NONSENSE, WE GOT HBO MAX MONEY. 

Back to the Lois vs. Edge plot:

For all the folks wondering how Lois working at the Planet was going to continue, what with the show being set in Smallville...

WELL.

Edge now owns the Planet, so he re-writes a negative article she’s written about him, which leads to her quitting, and going to write for the Smallville Gazette.

Which is operated by Chrissy Beppo.

Who is...named after the super monkey? 

Does this mean we’ll eventually meet other Smallville residents named after super pets? Like Marsha Whizzy, or maybe Kenneth Comet.

Seems a weird choice when ‘Bibbo’ is right there.

ANYWAYS.

Best line of the episode: “You know what babe? You do your Superman stuff, and I will do my Lois Lane stuff.”

MEANWHILE, THE SAD DAD VIBES INTENSIFY as Grandpa Jor-El reveals: Jordan...will never be like you, Kal-El. His human DNA is too limiting.

Which is a very interesting plot point (that was sorta mentioned/explored in Future State!)

So, about the boys: I still find them...mostly annoying. But I appreciate the dynamic they’re establishing: Jordan has always required more time and attention due to his anxiety disorder, and Jonathan has always had to look after him and compensate--this carries over into the new status quo where Jordan has the super powers and Jonathan further feels that his brother is getting time and attention and he needs to make sacrifices and changes for him/the family. 

This leads to a really lovely moment between the brothers at the end of the episode that I genuinely enjoyed, so. I’m hoping that there will be more of that and less of ‘drama with Sarah’.

(Also if you think that sounds a little like another pair of Super siblings...it does! And also hold that thought.)

The OTHER big twist is that Master Chief AKA Captain Luthor comes from a world with an EVIL SUPERMAN.

To be clear, the set-up is very obviously, ‘Our Clark will prove Captain Luthor wrong re: thinking he’ll turn evil,’ so I’m not seriously suggesting we’re in for a full-on Injustice situation. I just find it funny, how quickly they pulled out the ol’ evil Supes.

(The one we saw in Elseworlds doesn’t count since that wasn’t Clark.)

And maybe this one isn’t either! I admit complete ignorance as to the comics stuff they’re pulling from; I guess it’s somehow connected to Project 7734 (Which is ‘hell’ upside down, as any fifth grader with a calculator will tell you) a counter-Kryptonian force put together by Sam Lane, I think? 

IDK. Like I said, comics blind spot.

The episode ends with Grandpa Lane looking a bit spooked at the ominous 7734 keychain Captain Luthor gave him, and Captain Luthor still on the hunt for Kryptonite! DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN.  

And now, time for a segment I’ll call: Gettin’ Super Salty w/Stranger wherein I will stash all of my frustration regarding the fact that this spin-off doesn’t really want to be a spin-off.

Okay, so first up! As mentioned, the Fortress design has been changed because the silly Supergirl version does not vibe with the new serious aesthetic.

Their loss! More Legion Rings, baby Sun Eaters, and impractical front door keys for Supergirl!

The sunstone AI details the last days of Krypton, and only one (1) pod is shown escaping the destruction.

Thanks, I hate it.

I do appreciate that Jor-El at least kinda appears to be wearing clothes that match the look of Supergirl’s Krypton. I wasn’t paying close attention to the buildings in the hologram, no clue if they match the architecture we’ve seen thus far.

Like, I get it. There’s no time to pause the plot and be like, ‘hey, just FYI, I’m not the sole survivor of Krypton, my cousin escaped as well’ but also AAAARRRRRGHHHHHH. 

You’re using the versions of the characters introduced in Supergirl, the least you can do is namedrop her once. ONCE. That’s all I’m asking. XD

They missed their opportunity, actually; when the boys were like, ‘We have so many questions!’ All you had to do was slip in, ‘Are we related to Supergirl?’ Bam. Done. Never need to go back to it, you’ve acknowledged it, continue on with your solo Sad Dad adventures!

(Except I guess that wouldn’t work, since so much of this is built on Clark being the Lone Protector of the earth. If you allude to other heroes being around, your whole character motivation/struggle makes less sense.)

I get it but I don’t have to like it. XD

They shoulda just set this on another Earth!

Circling back to the sibling dynamic: I hate how now I really want Kara to someday appear on this show and hang out with the boys and be like, ‘ah, yes, I know the feeling, my sister and I were the same.’

That’s it, that’s all the crossover content I need. I realize Melissa is moving on to bigger and better things but MAYBE SOMEDAY. XD (Or maybe I’ll just write a fic, who knows.)

I can’t remember if I brought this up already but it is hilarious to me that anyone still thinks of Superman as a reporter--most modern takes treat it as an afterthought and here, it’s dispensed in the first episode.

It has not been brought up since.

Like, much is made about Lois leaving Metropolis, and what that’ll mean for her career, but no one in Smallville is like, ‘Clark, wow! Farming? That’s quite a career change!’

(I assume he’ll be farming, since they mentioned starting the farm up again.)  

...You think anyone will drag the writers for tossing aside Clark’s ‘true calling?’ 

Who am I kidding? Supergirl fandom is not watching this show, they’re just harassing the people running the social media accounts. 

SO OVERALL: The good remains good! The meh remains meh! I appreciate that this version of Clark and Lois exist as we inch ever closer to the release of the Snyder Cut! But also the behind-the-scenes stuff continues to hang over everything like a terrible cloud! Here’s hoping those problems are addressed!

[criesinauthor]

AQUAMARINE AU: THIS TIME I WATCHED IT

If this tastes familiar, I posted a bullshit version on my main ❤️ but here is the REAL DEAL Avatar the Last Airbender: Aquamairne AU

⁃ Azula and Zuko are spending their last summer on Ember Island

⁃ Azula is being begrudgingly clingy because it's their last summer together before Zuko starts working for their father's company and "leaves her just like their mother did >:("

⁃ Speaking of, in this verse their mother left on a ship during the last time they took a family vacation

⁃ A horrible storm happened and she was assumed lost at sea

⁃ Azula hates the ocean, Zuko hates thunder

⁃ Iroh runs a little beach shop with boba on Ember Island and he's living it up, we stan a king who minds his business and doesn't exploit the citizens he pillaged!

⁃ One night, a horrible storm happens while Azula is forcing Zuko to watch Jaws

⁃ She rags on him for being anxious and calls him a hypocrite

⁃ Even though she wishes for him to stay...

⁃ But the next day Azula falls into the pool and is CONVINCED she saw a fucking person

⁃ Then Jet the hot, piece of shit lifeguard (who broke her brothers heart 2 years ago but he is still morbidly fixated on) saves her ❤️

⁃ That night they return and there wasn't a person...there were two!!! and they're Mermaids

⁃ And they're fighting really loudly for two mythical creatures in the middle of a beach town

⁃ It's Sokka and Katara!

⁃ Sokka is in Love with Yue. He knows this because he is constantly people watching and has figured it out

⁃ and Katara has heard every last detail of it over the course of Her Entire Life

⁃ And honestly? She would like that for herself, please. No arranged marriage just because she's a "Princess" and love "isn't real."

⁃ She hates that shit!!!! She wants JUSTICE for aquatic women!

⁃ So she decided to go on land and prove it's real herself an impulsive Three Days before Yue's wedding

⁃ Sokka came with her because he is Annoying! And also fascinated with Humans. And also really wants her and Yue to be happy :)

⁃ which will not happen if his little sister fucks up because she hasn't put any research in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

⁃ So long story short, a storm swept them into this pool and they're arguing because Katara claims she's in love with "the seaweed mouth boy" and Sokka is like "katara love is more complicated than that" and she's like "but I can FEEL IT"

⁃ They stop dead in their fucking tracks when they realize Azula and Zuko have watched them the whole time

⁃ "Hello....Zuko here" Extends Gummy Worm

⁃ Azula is convinced they're crazy people and tosses it out of his hand which is fine and well because Katara Waterbends It The Fuck Back From Across the Pool

⁃ Which is enough proof for her they these are Real Mermaids From The Ocean SWIMMING in their uncle's POOL

⁃ But then the weird janitor boy who never talks and has Definitely killed a man (Longshot) comes out and they decide to book it

⁃ Next day they come back and uncle Drained the Fucking Pool which gives Zuko a minor heart attack and cracks Azula the fuck up despite her also being kind of worried.

⁃ But they hear muffled arguing from their uncle's boba shop and find Sokka and Katara wrapped in towels, totally fine, and Walking On Two Legs

⁃ Azula takes this as confirmation that they are, in fact, Fucking Imposters, until Katara waterbends gutter water onto her and she believes it again

⁃ She forces zuko to sacrifice his shirt and pants for them because he's wearing a wet suit even though he HATES walking around in just a wet suit like an asshole

⁃ He does so anyways and hates every minute

⁃ Despite all three of them protesting, Katara walks Right The Fuck UP to Jet and asks if he loves her

⁃ He does the whole "Ha. lol no. ur hot though ;) see you later ;)"

⁃ She is slightly demoralized but Soldiers On because her new friend Azula INSISTS she can make him fall in love with her

⁃ Azula has read every teen magazine so many times that she "has perfected a formula to make any man on earth fall in love in a matter of hours" she simply Chooses not to use it

⁃ Zuko and Sokka comment from the peanut gallery about how nonsensical that is

⁃ Until Azula implements operation damsel

⁃ AKA, we ride our bikes in front of Jet's house until he notices, then she throws Katara off of her handle bars to bait him into saving her

⁃ This Works but she did not tell anyone doing that on purpose was part of the plan

⁃ Cue Date!!!!

⁃ It's good but Zuko is sus and so is Sokka

⁃ Azula very pointedly (read: homophobicly) says Katara is Different and their relationship failed because he Lacks the Feminine Wiles girls like her and katara are Naturally Imbued with

⁃ That pisses him off but luckily Sokka reminds them the Fucking Sun Is Going Down and they'll turn into FISH AGAIN if they don't hurry

⁃ They bring them to the water tower and see them in Ambient Sunset Lighting as Mermaids for the First Time

⁃ Zuko & Azula: sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me

⁃ (It does)

⁃ Jet, king that he is, eventually gets suspicious and starts pressuring Katara, assumes that there's something up because of "those two boys she's always running off with" and katara rightfully gets Pissed the Fuck Off at him, and runs away tearbending

⁃ Zuko goes after her and tries to comfort her

⁃ Cue the "why am I leaking? why does love hurt? why would someone love if it hurts this much" "because love is the closest thing humans have to magic :")" scene

⁃ Azula and Sokka are like "emotions are kinda weird, right?" "so right" on the bike ride to water tower, sweet water tower

⁃ Unfortunately Jet Follows Them and is Even More Suspicious

⁃ The next day Azula and Katara are nursing their respectively broken hearts over this with Jennifer's Body and Ice Cream

⁃ But Jet keeps hounding Zuko (and by extension Sokka, who wants to learn about more human stuff) at the boba stand

⁃ Where he figures out clearly these two gentlemen are Gay and hang out with her as a means for Zuko to prove he's Rebounded

⁃ Which isn't ideal but, he is interested in Katara again and they both want her to succeed so they take him there, hijinks ensue, Katara is invited to the Last Splash

⁃ (And Zuko does kind of want to prove he's over it so Sokka offers to take him and they all go to the mall together and get makeovers)

⁃ (Golden Opportunity for a crocverse crossover because you look me in the face and tell me mermaids wouldn't wear CROCS!)

⁃ Success! Everyone said, not knowing Jet would follow her home after the date, and climb the water tower, and see her and Sokka are mermaids, and break the ladder, and figure he can expose them on the news for being mermaids, because that makes so much sense

⁃ Luckily Longshot and Iroh recognized the betrothal necklace and whale tooth necklace in the bottom of the pool as Mermaid Fodder, something they often discuss at their monthly pai sho game, and went to save them before Jet had the chance to fuck shit up

⁃ Unfortunately!!!!!!!!!!! This means Katara and Sokka don't know about this by the next day and Zuko and Azula have to go save them from getting exposed NOW!!!!

⁃ Katara asks him if he loves her Now, and he says "heh. I'm allergic to shellfish" then pushes her in the water

⁃ Sokka dives in after her

⁃ Zuko punches Jet square in the Face then dives in

⁃ Then Azula, in a moment of love fueled bravery, jumps in as well

⁃ The sky is thundering, a whirlpool is pulling them out to sea and There it Comes

⁃ "You can have our wish, wish you can stay here" "What? Why would you do that" "We love you, Katara!" "I didn't know you leak when you're happy too!"

⁃ The Storm Hath Ended

⁃ Jet gets fucking fired

⁃ but Katara and Azula swim together and are best fucking friends while Zuko and Sokka have the worst most awkward love confession in the history of the world

⁃ They kiss and Sokka's finger scales turn blush pink for the next week

⁃ The end!!!! Love wins, people!!! And ozai got eaten by a shark off screen, roll credits! La la land!