#i love when he starts talking before the answer is fully formed in his brain so he just rambles and rambles until the thought is complete

[chanrizard]

Chan, advice! As a 25yo I feel like I haven't achieved anything much because I didn't find my path, but I feel like I'm getting older and I feel a lot of pressure. I don't know what to do, some days I'm like "meh, anyways" and some days it really weighs me down

I see... Well I mean, it's not too late. 25 is still pretty young... I mean the kids tease me all the time but I'm fine with that, it's just having fun.

But yeah, as another 25yo I guess it's just a different case, but let's say if I wasn't here, if I didn't choose this path, I probably would be thinking the same so...

Just, I mean I can't say "do this or do that" because I'm pretty sure the universe is bound to give you clues and hints on what to do, but what I think is a good thing to do is be prepared, because you never know when an opportunity or a chance is gonna come so if you're prepared you can just grab that chance straight away, so yeah I think that's what I wanna say.

But another thing that I wanna say, it's completely normal. 'Cause I guarantee I probably would've felt that way, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people out there who feel the same as well so yeah, it's never too late. Just take it easy, do what you wanna do, do what you enjoy doing, and yeah hopefully you'll find something that really really fits what you like to do :]

No worries, nooo worries ~

[erosiism]

SACRIFICE | YANDERE DUKE X M!READER

prompt: the moment you sacrifice your life for him | reader is childhood friends with claude (OC), both are planning a rebellion to usurp the throne.

character(s): duke, you

warnings(s): slight blood

note(s): male reader, second person, past tense, not beta read, excerpt from my fic on wattpad, to make amends

FIND MORE MOMENTS OF CLAUDE AND THE READER HERE.

When planning a rebellion, assassination attempts are inevitable. This time round, another bout of mercenaries have come, demanding your blood. Demanding the Duke’s blood—Claude’s blood.

The arrows had nicked your skin, but it hadn't been serious. "It's fine. And besides, it's nothing to worry about. I won't ask for much, Claude—I do not need such things in the light of such situations. I'm realistic. If I have to die for you to be Emperor, so be it."

You assumed you had asked out of obligation—a lover's obligation, if you will. You assumed that this was the answer he had wanted to hear.

You had gravely mistaken.

"...What?" Claude's voice was the most strangled, the coldest you had heard. "What are you talking about?"

You paused. "...Why do you look so angry?"

"I told you to stop sacrificing yourself for me, Y/n, I told you. Is everything I say to you a joke? Do you not care when you get injured or when you suffer? You promised me you wouldn't be so careless."

"I don't get why you seem so furious." With the current situation and your mounting weariness, your tone has become sharp. Cutting. "It's common sense. Get a grip. You want the crown, so there are sacrifices you have to make."

"I don't want the crown."

You smiled hysterically. "Don't jest."

"Not if you are going to sacrifice yourself." Claude said stubbornly.

Your eyes finally stopped roving around the area to focus on him. "Don't be idiotic. I've worked for this my whole fucking life and now you don't want it?"

"Y/n," Claude started, "once we get back to the manor, I'll immediately issue a—"

"No!" You found your voice raising, "you don't get it. So what now? I'm the fucking fool who has been wasting my whole life on a goal that you don't even want? You don't want to be Emperor? So what? Have you been stringing me along, and have I been following you like some kind of blind person?"

"Y/n," Claude whispered. "We can talk more later. For now—!"

"—No, Claude. Take those words back." You murmured, "I thought you were tired of regret. You said it yourself when you told me you loved me. So why are you saying things you're going to regret?" You asked wearily, "why?"

"I love you."

You opened your mouth, about to retort. 

Then you saw a flurry of motion. 

Something in your brain clicked, and before you could fully process your own actions, your mind had acted before your body. Your eyes had caught the final assassin — but he was already holding an arrow, the string pulled, the target right towards Claude. You saw flashes of him in his death, bleeding out, dying, last words disappearing from his lips.

There was a high chance of either of you being killed: but it was all a gamble — a risk you were willing to take.

You pushed him to the side, and the both of you tumbled away. The arrow narrowly missed Claude—and burst of mana came forth from his fingertips. There was one last cry of agony that came from the assassin, before he died. Meanwhile Claude held you close to him, the both of you shuddering.

He stilled.

You two were so very near the edge. Your legs were dangling off, your body limp in weariness. Beneath you the edge of the cliff had started to crack, little by little, spiderweb fissures forming.

"Y/n," he spoke desperately. His fingers were slippery from blood. "Quickly. Take my hand. Quickly."

"And bring you down with me?" You laughed, "no."

"Y/n."

You looked at him then, stubbornly. "All of your life you said you wanted to be Emperor."

"Not if it means you sacrificing yourself, like you are now." His fingers were clambering at yours. He was holding your hand like it was a lifeline. You could feel yourself dragging him towards the precipice. Soon your hands would let go and you would plummet with him.

He had to become Emperor.

Or was that your dream, and not his dream?

"Let go."

"No."

"I'll make this easier for us," you said calmly, "I despise you, Claude. I hate you. So now let go."

Claude shook his head. "I love you."

You looked at him. Your pulse was ebbing with his. Death would free you from the torment of parting with him. You had talked about him to countless of others like he had made this universe, like he had aligned the stars. You loved him selfishly, greedily. 

Your other hand reached out to clasp his hand. The cliff was starting to crack. If you didn't act now, you would both be dead.

Claude's eyes widened. With brute force—the last bit of energy you could muster—you wrenched your hand out of his—shoved him from the blossoming cracks and to even ground—and the last thing you saw was his tortured expression as you plummeted down and the edge broke off from the cliff. 

"Y/n!"

You wanted more of Claude. In your mind you were dressing and adorning him with light; you were wrapping him with blankets of devotion, acceptance. You had given yourself to him. You longed for him, in the ways you had never longed for anyone else. You were absorbed in his warmth, his love, and you really, utterly, devoutly—longed for every bit of him. 

"I despise you," you murmured. The second seemed to blur as you awaited excruciating pain. 

Almost like a plea to yourself. You knew what the words really translated to.

You despised the Gods.

like/reblog! comments are always appreciated

[variety-fangirl]

3 Days Away / Jake Lockley x fem!reader

Summary: you and Jake end up arguing about his safety, especially when he comes home worse than ever. After days of silent treatment from him and him refusing to let the others front, you decide a few days away for him to calm down is best.

Warnings: angst, Jake not knowing how to express his feelings until the end, reader feeling hurt and upset, fluff ending.

Authors note: I have a few Moon Knight fics in mind to write, so I hope you guys enjoy them but feel free to send me requests also. Angsty!Jake to soft!Jake, super soft emotional Jake (I know he isn't typically like this but I just loved the idea) This is majorly a Jake fic with bits of Marc and Steven. Liking, reblogging, and commenting really help me out. Thank you my loves! :)

Word count: 2.5k

You hated arguments more than anything, especially with those that you loved and cared about. You hadn't even intended for this to cause a fight, you simply just wanted him to know how scared you were for their safety. It's not like what they did was a typical everyday job where they wouldn't be harmed by dangerous people or killed. Seeing Jake come home with blood covering him, bruises all over his torso and back, and cuts on his face was enough to scare you. You were terrified of losing them, the three most important people in your life that couldn't live without.

And so a few days later you set to have a conversation about it with whoever was fronting at the time, which happened to be Jake. You stayed calm and tried to say your piece without tears, but it had proved futile. Jake had taken your concern as an attack, thinking he couldn't handle himself. The yelling, on his part, had started and your tears had a mind of their own, flowing freely. You silently cried as Jake stood in front of you with a booming voice and red face, you just allowed him to get his anger out, knowing there was no reasoning with him at that moment.

"I'm going to take a walk and let you cool off, okay?" you managed to get out through tears when he stopped, wiping your face as best you could as you stood. You hoped some time to himself would allow him to calm down enough to talk to you calmly when you returned. His silence was enough of an answer to let you know you needed to leave for a bit. His back was to you as you stepped toward him, breathing heavily. Placing your hands gently on his back as you lay a kiss on the clothed area, a small sob choking out in the process. "I love you," you whisper as you reluctantly let him go and walk towards the door, grabbing your jacket in the process.

You look back at him for a moment, not fully wanting to leave so you could sort this out, but you knew he needed space. You watch as Jake leans over and holds onto the wall as he breathes heavily, looking at his reflection in the mirror. They're talking, so you took that as your cue to leave, closing the door behind yourself.

It luckily wasn't too cold out, the breeze only just slightly nipping at your skin. You sighed when the tears refused to stop, a headache already starting to form because of it. Your chest felt heavy with an ache, sadness overwhelming your senses. Your legs absentmindedly took you where they pleased as your brain ran a million miles an hour, worried and hurt-filled thoughts filling it. You knew Jake was hard to reason with when he was angry or upset, but you weren't expecting him to be that angry with you for being worried about his and the boy's safety. You loved them and didn't want to lose them, you wouldn't know what to do if you did. You didn't even want to think about it.

An hour later, you ended up at a small food stall that sold hot food and beverages. You had been planning to cook for you both before the argument broke out, that plan is out the window now. You grabbed yourself something to eat and drink, luckily having found some money in your jean pocket. You found a small park nearby that was mostly empty, it seemed peaceful and a good place to be for a while to clear your head and give Jake the time to calm down. Walking through the trees and pathway led you to a small lonely wooden bench, and you took a thankful seat on it. Your feet ached from walking a long period of time without stopping, the pressure relieving the second you took a seat.

You stared forward at passing byers, eating and drinking without thought. The jacket hugged your body and neck as you wrapped it around yourself tighter, not particularly cold, just needing extra comfort. The added warmth from your hot beverage helped make you feel slightly better, helping to relieve the coldness of your hands and the dull ache in your head. You weren't sure how long had passed with you sitting on that little bench, it was a while but you weren't sure of the exact amount. Having accidentally left your phone at the flat in the rush to leave without thought of necessities, like your phone and purse.

By the time you had started to make your way back, it was beginning to get dark. The walk took a while, but luckily you memorised the way home. When you reached home, you realised that you'd left your keys there. Having to begrudgingly knock and disturb him, the slow shuffling of feet letting you know he didn't want to move. It took Jake a while to answer the door, his red unimpressed eyes staring at you without a word. Still angry it seemed. He simply walked back towards the couch, leaving the door open for you to enter.

You sigh, closing the door and locking it, as he gets back on the couch and wraps his blanket around him. Realising he wasn't intending to come to bed with you, you walk toward him. "I love you and I'm sorry. We'll talk tomorrow," you whisper shakily, tears forming once again. Bending down over the back of the couch, you stroke the mop of black curly hair and place a gentle kiss on the back of his head. You linger for a few seconds, tears falling down your cheeks. Begrudgingly, you walk away from him to your shared bed. You change into one of Steven's shirts and get into the cold bed alone, silent tears falling. You fall asleep with an aching heart.

-

Two days of silent treatment had been driving you insane, you had expected to talk about it by now but Jake wasn't budging. He wasn't letting the others front either, which made the situation worse. You were sure something else was going on that had contributed to his mood, and you were trying to be patient but it was driving you up the wall not being able to speak. So, in the middle of the night, you decided to go stay with your friend, having checked with them beforehand for the ok. You packed a small bag with your necessities and leave a note for the boys to read when one of them wakes.

'Don't freak. Went to a friend's house for a few days or so to let Jake cool off until he's ready to speak. Can't cope with the silent treatment, I'm sorry.'

You loved them all more than anything, even their flaws but that didn't mean that you could always handle it all the time. Sometimes you needed a small break when one of them was in a mood, to give yourself some time to de-stress. As you walked through the door of your friend's apartment, you set your bag down and turned to face her, she was patiently waiting for an answer to her question. As soon as you saw the look of concern and love on her face, your bottom lip began to tremble and tears clouded your vision. "Oh honey, come here." She gently replied with open arms, her heart breaking to see you like this.

It had been late by the time you'd arrived at your friend's home, around midnight, you knew she'd be exhausted from a long day at work and yet, she refused to go to bed until you were laughing and smiling. Which she exceeded, as she always does. She grabbed a shit ton of ice cream, two bottles of both your favourite wine and fluffy blankets, while you explained to her what had happened (not completely delving into the full truth about your boyfriends and their line of work). She listened intently while you cried and explained what had led you to leave in the middle of the night and go to hers, and she was ever as understanding about it all. At that moment, you were so grateful to have a friend that truly cared about you and your happiness, not wanting to just leave you there crying while she went to bed.

That had been two days ago, and your phone had been blowing up non-stop since. Your friend insisted that it seemed he was ready to talk and going home was probably the best idea, and so you agreed. You didn't really know what to expect when you arrived home, unsure of who would be fronting and how they would react to the whole situation. Would Marc or Steven be angry with you also? You hoped not, you could barely cope with one angry boyfriend, but three? it would just completely swallow you whole. Packing up the little belongings you'd brought with you and making your way back without a word to the boys. You flicked through the messages on the way, the majority were from Marc and Steven, but a few from Jake stuck out. You had expected the other to reach out but not Jake, deeming him to still be angry for a couple of days more.

'Please come home.'

'I'm sorry..'

'Please..'

Your heart clenched and you felt the tears prick at your vision once more, you were fed up with crying. Jake never begged, said please or apologised, so for him, this was rare and he must truly mean it. Those words didn't come from him lightly, and you were thankful. It meant he would be in a much better mood than a few days prior, you didn't know if you could cope with a replay of how you ended up here. The silent treatment was worse than anything, it killed you to see him walk straight past you with a dead expression and not a single word uttered. That was a part of Jake you weren't the fondest of, the fact that he could hide his emotions so well and appear that the situation wasn't bothering him.

What you didn't know was that Jake (Marc and Steven also) had been freaking out the whole duration since you left, not knowing what to do. Marc and Steven had been trying to get through to him, pushing for him to call you and apologise, beg for you to return if he had to, but to get you to come back to them. To him. Jake knew he was terrible at expressing his emotions and they often came out.. wrong, often acting angry or upset when he actually wasn't. He wasn't used to someone caring about his well-being or loving him as deeply as you did, his actions tending to be harsh and not coming across in the way he wanted them to. And yet, you still chose to stay with him and love him unconditionally, accepting every part of him, good and bad.

Jake had been pacing bak and forth for what felt like hours, panicking at your lack of response, worrying implicitly that he'd done it this time and scared you off. Marc began yelling at Jake through the reflection, blaming him for potentially losing you. He didn't know if he could handle losing another important person in his life, 'I swear to god Jake if you've chased away our girl, I'll never speak to you again.' Marc spat menacingly as he pointed at Jake, turning away to calm himself. Steven just looked lost, not quite knowing what to do with himself at the thought of you leaving them. 'Please mate, call her, text her, I don't care what you have to do, just get her back here!'

You were their light, life, and love. Their everything and more, what would they do without you? How would they cope without you? Everything in their life reminded them of you, you did everything together. The route Steven took to work every day as he passed your favourite tea shops, the little corner shop that Marc passes on the way home that you had introduced him to, the little bakery that not many people knew about that made mouth-watering pastry that had converted Jake. Everything was a perfect reminder of you. Even the simple things like letting someone in, trusting someone to know about all of them and their secret, the way you could perfectly tell them all apart from the other. Everything you did was done with love and care. They couldn't bare losing that.

So, when you walked through the door timidly, looking around to see where your boyfriends were, you weren't expecting what happened. Jake stared in shock at you, not fully expecting you to even return home. He breathed deeply, emotions overwhelming him as he'd never felt before, pushing him over the edge. Jake walked quickly toward you and cupped your face in his trembling hands, his eyes filled with tears. You were sure it was Steven or maybe Marc, you definitely didn't expect Jake to currently be fronting with the amount of vulnerable emotions that were showing right now. 'Oh thank god.' Marc whispered, a shaky breath leaving him. Steven stared with wide eyes, silent tears leaving him. If only you could see how grateful they were to see you.

"Mi vida." you stare at him in shock, realising it is Jake when you hear the nickname. You were surprised, he was never this emotional or vulnerable with you. He was usually hard to read and kept his emotions hidden, so seeing him visibly upset made you want to cry with happiness and heartache. Jake pulls your body into him, his trembling lips placing a gentle kiss on your head as he holds you as close as possible. You sigh as tears begin to form, stuffing your face into his warm chest and wrapping your arms as tightly around his waist as possible. You were so thankful that he wasn't angry with you anymore, seeming happy to see you back home. You knew they probably worried when you didn't reply but you wanted to come over as soon as you could.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't angry with you, I'm just not used to someone caring about mine and the boy's safety. Other than us. I didn't know how to handle it and reacted how I usually would, it won't happen again. Just don't leave again, please." Jake whispered into your hair, tears flowing freely. He was so afraid that he'd lost you, he could care less about how he looked right now, he was just thankful you were home. Your cheeks were now soaked, the feeling of relief and love overwhelming you as you both held each other tightly, you made a mental note to spend time with Marc and Steven shortly, also.

"I'm not going anywhere, can't get rid of me that easily. Those three days were difficult with you three." you giggled, looking over to the reflection of the fish tank next to you both, hoping your boys were watching and listening. Luckily, they were with smiles and tears in their eyes. You loved them all more than anything and one argument wasn't going to scare you away.

[lemotmo]

Interesting question and super interesting answer. Spot on regarding lots of people's feelings towards Lou.

Q. I want to first say thank you for taking the time to answer our questions, I know many of them have not been nice. I'm glad you've started answering more nice ones, it's good for everyone to see. You've said you liked Tommy a lot in the beginning, is it possible that your changing opinions about Tommy are actually a result of you not liking Lou? More than the show changing Tommy? Does that make sense? I am genuinely curious, please tell me this is not coming across as rude!

A. Good morning, anon. No, your question did not come across rude at all. In fact it's a good question and one I am happy to answer. Before I get into the answer about Tommy though, I will address the Lou part. I have made no secret about my dislike for LFJ. I personally find him gross. And I will fully own that, as a result, loving Tommy would be rather difficult for me. But in my real life it's my job to sell shit to people and make them think they love or need something they don't (PR) so I could make my brain get there if I really needed it to get there for the sake of the show. But fortunately for me I won't need to do that.

A couple of things happened with regards to Lou that prior to him the show had never had to deal with before. Forgive me, but my public relations nerd brain is about to take over. Lou is the first guest star the show ever had that publicly and rapidly promoted themselves as a characters' love interest. None of the others have ever done that before. But he didn't market himself to the audience at large. He targeted a very specific portion of fandom to promote himself to, engage with, and profit from. I'm going to take this opportunity to point out that the minute Tim/ABC told him he could no longer do the cameo videos, thus removing his profiting capabilities, he ended all forms of engagement completely. That tells you all you need to know. For this next part I'm going to use Megan West (Taylor Kelly) as my counterpoint. Taylor was popular with the general audience. The fandom hated Taylor (and Oliver wasn't a fan either, bless him), but the general audience liked her. It's why the show kept trying to make her work for multiple seasons. The GA liked her dynamic with Buck. The GA didn't 'turn' on Taylor until the show started her exit storyline and they weren't supposed to like her anymore. Same thing with Tommy. I think my opinion of Tommy changed exactly when the show wanted it to change. I followed the canon change. The general audience doesn't care about Tommy. Having a small, yet rabid, fan base is good for minimal short term traction, but the GA is what extends contracts. He didn't promote himself to the GA because he already knew the shelf life of his character. He knew the storyline that his character is a part of wasn't going to change. As a result he promoted himself to a particular sect of fandom to maximize his character's minimal self life. And it worked, for a little bit.

The show was not promoting him. He did a couple of interviews right after episode 4, but any actor playing that character would have been given those interviews. That had zero to do with Lou. And, unfortunately for him, and those of us who had to read them, the man's a terrible interview. He has no filter, no self editing capabilities, and zero PR training. It was a disaster. Even the people responsible for editing them into something resembling coherence struggled to make them work. They sent him on one joint interview with Oliver, an actual PR unicorn (he should teach a class), and the only thing Lou was allowed to say about the show was that Tommy and Buck were 'thriving' (interesting word choice given his one scene in the finale, btw). It also cannot be ignored that Oliver chose not to speak at all about the onscreen duo. The rest of Lou's time was spent talking about his dad, which is what the two people interviewing him clearly wanted to talk more about anyway. Oliver was who the show sent to talk about the show. They weren't promoting the ship. The interviewers would have been given very specific questions to ask if it had been about the duo. ABC didn't want Lou talking about the show. He had already proven he wasn't capable of doing so with any kind of tact. It also became apparent that he and Oliver are not comfortable with one another. Oliver tried very briefly to sell it a bit, but he didn't try very long or very hard. I know Lou's fandom thought it was perfect, but based on everything non Lou biased we saw, they were in the minority. And the show clearly didn't think it worked either because you never saw them again. The show has been doing PR since the finale. If they wanted to drum up Buck/Tommy they would have been using at least part of this time to do so, and they haven't. The release of the deleted clip was the opposite of bigging him up and the reaction from the general audience as well as his own fans proves that. The off-season PR has been entirely Ryan/Eddie centered. Which also was when Ryan's gender neutral musings also began, but I digress. The show had never encountered the game Lou played before and as a result they had no rules and regulations in place regarding guest star behavior. They have clearly established some rules now and Lou has been instructed to follow them. I'm also certain somewhere in there he was informed of his final episode count so he knows exactly when he's leaving. And while the cameo videos were great for him personally, in the short term, that rabid devotion was going to change quickly once it becomes apparent on screen that Tommy's arc is nearing its end. And I don't think he will be around longer than 3 or 4 episodes. I think his arc will conclude around the same time Gerard's arc concludes. I do not think the two will necessarily be connected but I do think they will come to a conclusion around the same time.

I'm so sorry anon but he drives my professional brain insane. And now as a result of his own hubris the show is now trying to clean up a mess he had no right to ever start.

I don't know what to write underneath these glorious posts anymore. Each and every single OP post just slay. This one isn't the exception.

Thank you OP for so eloquently putting into words what all of us have been trying to explain for weeks now.

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[oddballwriter]

Good Smells

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Summary: A nice little blurb involving Marc enjoying certain smells because they remind him of you.  

Warnings: There's reference to Marc's past and childhood but it's not entirely front and center. This is still hella fluffy. 

Author’s Snip: The reader's gender is never specified but they do have traditionally feminine smells like flowers.

Notes: Something for Marc, my little stress ball of a man. <3 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

"Did you know that out of all of the senses in the human body, smell is most effective in sparking a memory?" Steven mentions as you two walk through the candle aisle of the home decor store.

You don't actually need candles, you came here to get a new desk chair after the previous one was no longer functional or comfortable. But you had a pretty good coupon for the candles here that was going to expire soon. So that's how this topic emerged in Steven's head.

"Does it now?" you reply, "Where'd you learn that." you ask. "Was watching some psychology show while waiting for what I usually watch on that channel we always have on." he answers. "I forget the exact details but apparently when it comes to smells, the neurons in the brain just connect the smell that the nose is picking up with the memory." Steven explains. You hum in response.

"Do you have any smells that make you remember something?" you ask as a means to keep conversation. Steven thinks for a moment before answering, "Whenever I smell that plain room smell, the one's you usually smell in a waiting room or something," he says, "It actually reminds me of storage back at the museum because it had that same smell." Steven correlates. You nod along.

Steven tries to think more on if there are other smells that make him think of something and you sort of wait, but he draws blanks. "I can't think of anything else. I'm sure there's more smells that work for me but right now I'm just getting Marc's." he muttered, sounding more like he was thinking out loud.

"Marc has smells that make him think of things?" you ask. "Yeah, but that's not really something for me to talk about." Steven remarks before continuing to walk along the rest of the aisle. "How about you, love? What are some that you have?" Steven asks, slightly changing the subject to go another direction.

That was a good move of Steven in Marc's opinion. He knows you meant well by asking about the smells that he has connected to memories. It's just that none of his smells are good smells.

No, not like they are things that smell bad. It's that the smells remind him of things that are bad and not so pleasant.

The damp smell of the tunnel.

The smell of the common flowers braided into a grave reef.

Marc had no good smells.

They never really caused the whole immediate remembering thing to be honest. That only happens when he actually lets his mind make the connection. So even then, he had nothing that made him think of anything.

That was until Marc, and the rest of the boys by default, started having certain smells that would just have a memory come up.

And it was all because of you.

You had this hand lotion from some store that smelt like apples. He can smell it on you whenever you cup their face. Sometimes the smell gets on him if he holds your hand long enough or you touch a part of his clothes before it fully settles into the skin of your hands, leaving a small spot with the faintest smell of it. Now whenever he smells anything apple related he just sees your image form in his mind. He literally ate a bear claw donut on a mission once because he missed you and the smell of the apples inside of the pastry made him think of you.

How about that gentle flowery smell that's in your shampoo?

No, it wasn't that artificial smell like the reef. Your shampoo actually smelt like wild and authentic flowers. Like if you stood still long enough a butterfly would mistake the smell of your hair for a patch of flowers. Which is why he buys you flowers from the farmers market. Sure, they're better looking and selling than the artificial ones, but also because he know's you'll put them in a vase somewhere in the flat and when you're away he'll have that same lovely flower smell.

If you were to ask if he had any smells that sparked any memories now, he would have an actual answer. A good answer.

Good smells.

[pianocat939]

I haven’t posted in a longgggg time. Mostly because I’ve been on the grind for some video games + money to buy a new saxophone because my girlie is LIVING on tape rn ;-;

Anyway, this is just…a random idea I’ve thought of. I don’t have big plans yet, but just a little something to get me back to writing again.

So this idea is inspired by both Monster High and Monsters University. And the thing that might make this a shitpost is acrually the heavy design inspo from Mike Wazowski…save me from my brain-

Tw: Drugging, Needles (very brief), no consent mini surgery (installment of a device), implied stalking

So, MC is at university doing whatever studies they wish. Of course, they get assigned to a dorm to make transportation easier.

(MC can be human or any creature you choose, I’m bullshitting here)

Upon first entrance, their roommate happens to be some cyclops dude trying to cut his hair. Just…casually cutting his hair. Miserably. The more he cuts, the more it looks like a bowlcut.

(Now, unlike Wazowski, he actually is tall and has a proper body and head. More similar to the Ancient Greek myth than Mike. However, minus the giant part.)

MC is kind of feeling awkward but tries to introduce themselves. But he’s just snipping away, while talking. He’s quite friendly, but more quiet.

It’s only until he’s about to chop off a huge chunk that MC offers to do his hair since it’s about to be a borderline disaster. He agrees.

So somehow MC is stuck with trimming hair while they get to know him better.

He talks of how he’s a computer engineering major. How he’s building some grand PC of his own to game on.

Then he mentions how his family immigrated from Cyprus and has been living in [country idfk] ever since. Then goes on a ramble how despite his family’s culture he is the biggest hater of olives. He mentions mother complains to him he is avoiding his true nature.

But then, he asks MC, “If you had to offer your heart to let someone survive, would you?”

Of course, MC is stunned and is confused why he’s asking such a question. But answers soon enough.

He smiles. His one eye squinting with happiness.

“I would. I absolutely would. Especially since it took me so long to find you.”

Before MC could question him, they feel his hand quickly grasp away the scissors. His agility is a mystery. He then gets some form of spray can bottlefrom his hoodie pocket and sprays their face.

A suspicious, cheap looking can. MC starts freaking out: the chemical smell, his strange statement and question, and even his facial expression creeping them out too.

But then, they start feeling woozy. Weak. Extreme weakness you could call it. Having to settle themselves on the nearby seat. Their mind shutting down quickly.

And in moments slump over the backrest of the chair like they’re sleeping.

The cyclops just continues to smile. Before reaching to pet their hair. “I lied. I never was a computer engineering major. I’m actually a chemical engineering major.” He swishes a hand through his hair. He then comments, “Not bad at the cut.”

Before he drags them to a different room. The room is already decorated with things they would tend to enjoy. The colours, furniture, and items.

He tucks them into bed. Before leaving the room briefly, getting a tiny device (like lady bug small) with a needle attached to it. He leans down and pricks their neck, installing the device. He settled it deep enough to hide, but not enough to cause permanent damage.

He finished the installment off with a bandaid. Giving one last pat to their head before leaving the room.

——————————————————

Similar to what I said before, this isn’t a fully established idea. Just something I thought of while doing random things.

Now, just a bit of explanation because that’s what I love doing. So, he has in fact been stalking MC before this event. I’m not sure how/when yet, but definitely for at least a year.

The suspicious can of chemicals he had is actually something he engineered himself. It’s just a chemical that can knock someone out for less than half an hour, while also having the side effect of losing their recent memory.

The device he installed is a tracker. A very detailed one.

I don’t have a name for him. And idk if I’ll ever will, but just know he is in fact evil Mike Wazowski. /j

I’m thinking to add other characters to this idea I have. Including more ladies because I realized I rarely ever write women. And we need some.

Alright I need snoozers.

- Celina

[accio-victuuri]

Sugar Rush : October CPNs

This was an insane month to say the least, I’m not even exaggerating. Things happened that will go down in fandom history. Our detective skills in looking for places and trying to piece a story was tested and the clowning was at it’s peak. I would have to say that by far, this year, it’s this month that generated lots of noise. Both sides were just throwing sweets at us and we can’t even keep up.

It also proved once more the charm of turtle cpns and why context, history and time is important to fully enjoy a candy:

“The charm of turtle candy is that it is incomplete. It is not a one-time solution. You feel suspicious at the beginning, but you are more sure later, and then at some unknown moment in the future, you suddenly get it. The correct answer, everything forms a closed loop, it's so cool”

• YH poster for WYB is from a BJYX fansite

• On 10/1, there has been some talk about WYB’s hair hiding beneath his beanie when he arrived at the airport to Paris. People’s guess is that he is blonde. Some people are connecting it to the blonde character in the XZS vlog.

People are free to interpret this however they want, as a candy, it appears to ZZ giving us a clue as to WYB dyeing his hair. Personally tho, this person is a member of GG’s staff & his friend who also takes part in putting out the amazing materials we get. People particularly remembered one of them had blonde hair during MFW. Anyway, I understand why people are so happy about this & interpreting it the way they do and go ahead and it this if you want 🍭

It also doesn’t help that the character kinda looks like WYB in Paris which is some next level coincidence. I can’t even with this fandom.

• I’m adding this beautiful analysis of Pie @potteresque-ire about the Mid Autumn festival photos posted by our boys. It’s technically from last month but i already published it before I read this meta. It just gives more weight to the meaning of it aside from how it matches 🌙

• Mengniu exhibit with zz and wyb standees

• Camera/Leica CPN : This has actually become everyone’s favorite candy of the year. It started out so simple and almost like a galaxy brain sort of clowning but both sides ended up “confirming” what we speculated. I have talked about this at length and in different parts below :

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five

10/6, WYB continues to show off his camera. Almost all the photos in the set released by YBO, he is holding it, and there are falling cameras on Weibo in that post!!!! 📸

There is also this CPN on what WYB is taking a photo of and with people using google earth and comparing, they found out it’s the number 23. What a beautiful number. He really loves it! ♥️

• Same place, different times. This is so bittersweet to me. One day, they will get that Romantic Paris getaway together 🖤

• XZ 1005 birthday CPNs : one // two 🎂

• A photography studio shared a shot of GG for his bday and the kadian is 18:23. This same company also released a bday photo for WYB’s. They have worked with the boys a couple of time.

• The same description of something being like a film

• Glasswork art piece from France that could have been a gift and souvenir for GG

• Camping site and it’s connection to WYB selfie - At this point, there’s been so many “evidence” collected by bxgs and the most accurate date is really 8/14-8/15 that this “celebration” was done. There are also posts from people who visited the place and a motorcycle “parade” took place, so we know it’s a popular place to ride your moto. It’s one of the “services” they provide and looks like something that WYB took advantage of.

• Is one of the photographers yibo? 📸

• GG’s rope necklace and it’s meaning

• XZS birthday video taking some inspiration from a queer themed short film “we are animals”

• The camping trip was a team building of XZS and YBO?

• Both of them so sexy 🔥🔥🔥🔥

• 10/12 ZSWW rumor house & fake story content 🤍

• WYB’s 10/13 Selfie : part one / part two

• A galaxy brain cpn of XZS 10/13 post’s caption

• On 10/16, XZ released a tribute song which is government sponsored of course. In the past months, the go-to person we usually see singing for these causes is WYB and now it’s XZ. This is not exactly CPN, but i like the way that they are both people seen as positive influences and may be used to sing for certain events. Maybe one day they can do a duet? LOL.

• This one is so funny, there is an interview in a Taiwan TV show i guess. and the question was, “Talk about the general interests of gay men in Taiwan” ; the person answering is also gay and he said it’s : fitness, mountain climbing, raising cats, and Shiba Inu. 😂😂😂😂

LOL. Why does it remind us of two people? It’s so specific. Who have always wanted to raise both a car and a dog (shiba inu) and is currently loving fitness and mountain climbing. They might as well add camping on there 🤪🤪🤪

I don’t really believe in stereotypes and that there is a certain “checklist” that makes you gay or whatever— your interests are personal and what you enjoy. maybe you will be influenced by your environment but just do what you want. Tho I understand why this was so amusing to c-turtles cause they immediately thought of ZZ & WYB when they saw this.

• Even holding the camera is the same 😂✌🏼like a true photographer. Not acting all cute and using a camera to “pose” but actually using it.

• Updated mole signature by XZS

• XZS video x Bottled Joy Parallel. 🫶🏼 ; and the fact that Bobo’s is by Bottled Joy, a brand who is known to be BJYX bias ( allegedly ) . Tho this was most likely filmed before that XZS video. A happy coincidence. && This is the renewal we have been waiting for.

• Luoyang Tourism video uses a BGM of a song by ZZ

• BJYX and Skydiving 🪂

• 130 fake rumors compilation

• Wuzhen Day 3 Yibo shirt CPN ⛳️

=======

See you all next month for another round up! 💛

Previous Posts: Jan-June 2023 / July / August / September

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

if you're still taking prompts for the 1k fic thing, I'd love to see a little scene about the first time stede comforts ed after a nightmare 🥺

Ahh this is so soft!! (And yeah, I'm still taking prompts for 1k word fics!)

--

Stede was a bit surprised when he blinked awake to the darkness of their bedroom.

After a lifetime at sea, Ed’s body was used to rising with the dawn. Usually, Ed started shifting with the sun, and his movements stirred Stede, and they were able to wake up together as the early-morning light turned their bedroom pink.

Stede wasn’t sure at first what had woken him up -

Ed’s elbow was nudging him in the ribs, the movement jerky and twitchy.

“Ed?” Frowning, Stede started to sit up, and when the only noise he got in response was a quiet whimper, he hurried to light the lamp on the nightstand.

Ed was still asleep, but it obviously wasn’t peaceful. His body was jerking slightly, his arms kept trying to pull up - like he was trying to raise them to protect himself, Stede realized. His face was twisted with fear, his cheeks were wet, and he kept muttering half-formed sentences, a string of “no” and “don’t” and “please” and “stop.”

Were you supposed to wake people up from a nightmare? Stede thought he’d read once that was dangerous - or was that seizures?

Then Ed made another miserable little whimpering sound, and that made up Stede’s mind for him.

He took one of Ed’s hands and placed his other palm over Ed’s chest, trying to wake him as gently as possible. As much as his brain was screaming at him to bang on Ed’s chest, he didn’t want to scare Ed further by waking him up so harshly.

Ed gasped at Stede’s touch, darting up to a half-sitting position before his eyes were even fully open. His face was nakedly panicked, and when his eyelids opened his eyes were wide and filled with tears, searching Stede’s face wildly.

Recognition hit him belatedly, and Ed crumpled back against the pillows with a ragged sigh.

“Hi,” Stede said quietly. “Are you -”

He was cut off by Ed pracally launching forward into his arms, clenching Stede’s nightshirt in his fingers. Stede wrapped his arms around him on instinct, letting Ed hide his face in the crook of his neck.

“It’s alright,” he whispered. “You’re safe. Did you have a bad dream?”

Ed’s nod was soft and tentative.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ed’s silence was answer enough, and Stede just sighed, resting his cheek against Ed’s forehead. “It’s alright. You don’t have to.”

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Ed whispered, his voice coming out quiet and reedy.

“Not your fault,” Stede soothed. “I’m glad I was able to help.”

Ed pulled back, scrubbing at his wet cheeks with the back of his hand. “Thank you.”

He looked much calmer already, and although Stede’s heart clenched at the nervous, jittery quality to his movements, it was a far cry from how panicked and afraid he’d looked when he first woke up. It didn’t look like he’d be able to get back to sleep any time soon, though, with how anxious he still looked…

Stede couldn’t help but smile as the idea hit him, and he patted Ed’s knee. “I’ll be right back.”

Ed’s eyes widened. “Please don’t leave me.”

So Stede held out his hand, and he let Ed tuck himself into his side, wrapping a robe around him before leading him to their kitchen to grab the things he needed. Ed didn’t comment as he gathered a couple brooms, both their mops, and some rope, but he got it when Stede started securing the brooms to their bedposts.

“Babe, you’re such a fucking genius,” he groaned, his own tentative smile spreading across his face as he grabbed the quilt tossed over the chair in the corner.

With the brooms and mops secured to the bedposts, they could throw the blanket over them to make their bed into a pretty damn good blanket fort.

“There,” Stede said, satisfied with their work as he lifted the blanket for Ed to crawl inside. It felt safe and secluded, like nothing could get them.

The change in Ed’s body language was a relief. In the darkness of their fort, Stede could only really see the whites of his eyes, but he could feel the crinkle at the corners of his eyes as he smiled, and he could feel the loose-limbed comfort in Ed’s body as he pulled him close.

“Never had anyone do something like this for me before,” Ed admitted quietly.

That was a damned shame, and one Stede intended to try his best to remedy for the rest of their lives.

Ed’s head rested on Stede’s shoulder, and Stede ran his fingers through his hair, humming in contentment as Ed relaxed against him.

“My daughter used to have terrible nightmares,” Stede said. “I used to tell her stories. To help her get back to sleep.”

Ed was so quiet, Stede briefly wondered if he was already asleep.

“Your boyfriend has terrible nightmares,” Ed said, then, very quiet, almost embarrassed. “Maybe you could tell him a story? If you want?”

“Of course.” Stede hoped they’d get to a point, one day, where Ed wouldn’t have to feel embarrassed to ask for comfort. He’d always told Alma the same story, when she was little, and he began quite on autopilot. “There once was a princess named…Ed.”

Ed snorted, and Stede could feel his smile against his skin as he turned his neck to kiss over Stede’s collarbone. “Princess, huh? Is he a pretty princess?”

“The prettiest,” Stede said earnestly. “And this is the story of how Princess Ed saved his entire kingdom by…fishing up the giant monster fish that lived in the sea!”

“Wow,” Ed hummed appreciatively. “Did he have any help? Reckon he couldn’t have gotten far without his boyfriend.”

“Oh, yes,” Stede said. “They helped each other the whole way.”

Ed was asleep well before he could finish the story, but Stede stayed awake for a while after that, just holding his boyfriend in his arms and wondering how he got to be so lucky.

[starryhoonie]

the perfect pair | p. sunghoon

—

part two.

w// angst,, a bit of smut,, afab reader, first person pov,, toxic relationship

word count: 792

like and reblog!

a/n: been listening to beabadoobe on repeat 😔

—

Will it ever end? The question I ask myself as my boyfriend calls me for the 10th time today, this time he leaves a voicemail…

Hey…it’s me, can you just answer my call…please. I don’t wanna fight, let's meet at the cafe tomorrow. I'll make it up to you, okay? BEEEP

Maybe it’ll be different this time, I know it won’t, but I hold onto that hope that one day it’ll be true. This is an occurring event, one of us fucks up, ignore eachother, makeup. 

When I first met Sunghoon I never thought it would be like this. I was studying in the library, cramming for an exam, and I noticed a very focused Sunghoon sitting next to me, so focused in fact he didn't notice himself reaching for my hot coffee instead of his cold tea. After one sip he was snapped out of his trance and immediately apologized, I giggled at his flustered state, we began talking and decided the way he could make it up to me. We met at a local cafe, after going a couple times together, and becoming “official” it kinda became our thing. We were different people then. A year later, we aren’t the same shy, timid, underclassmen anymore. Shit happens I guess…

I make my way to that same cafe, sitting at a table watching the rain slowly trickle down the window. Sunghoon walks in, as soon as we make eye contact I get that same feeling, the feeling I know too well, I love him, how I hate that feeling. He sits down and I’m immediately entranced in his words. “I’m sorry babe” he starts “Is that what you wanna hear, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for not being perfect and…” he keeps talking, I don’t even know why we were fighting in the first place. “Hoonie…” I cut him off, staring at him with eyes full of sympathy. He smiles at me knowing he’s back in my good graces. “Comon, let's go to my place” he stands, reaching out his hand. 

Being at Sunghoons place is strange, it doesn't quite feel like home, but it’s comforting. We sit and watch a movie we’ve seen a hundred times before cuddling up on the couch. He brings his hand towards me caresses my cheek, bringing me in for a kiss, escalating he grabs my waist and continues the kisses down my neck, he has me wrapped around his finger again, as we kiss I can’t think, he makes me throw caution to the wind, I feel him, breathe him, it’s all him, i hate it. 

He picks me up off the couch and I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks us to his room. He lays me on the bed and continues kissing down my chest removing my clothes one by one. He stares at me once I’m fully undressed, “You’re beautiful” he says “You know I love you right?” he half rhetorically asks as he kisses me, I don’t. 

He slowly rubs his tip against my entrance, hissing at the feeling of him sliding himself inside of me. I cry out as his cock stretches my cunt, I’ve never gotten used to his length. He slides himself in and out of me slowly, caressing my body as he does so savoring all of it as if this is the last time. I grab his shoulders, marking crescents into his back while doing so, he pumps himself in and out, the sound of heavy pants, slapping of skin and sloppy kisses fills my brain. Drunk off the way he makes me feel, the only things coming from my mouth are moans of pleasure, the only words I can convey are ‘please’ I don’t know what I’m asking for but he gives it to me, his thumb rubbing my clit as he fucks me harder than I could ever imagine, it’s not long till he brings me to my breaking point, “Are you gonna cum love?” The only response I can form is a string of repeated ‘yes.’ 

Sunghoon lets out a harsh moan as he releases, as soon as he does I’m falling apart in front of him, cumming onto his cock, as I do tears fall from my eyes, he wipes them away kissing my cheeks as I keep crying.  Sunghoons fast asleep as I re-dress myself, I grab his phone and delete my contact from it. I make my way out and head home, this is the last time. I think back on this past year, how we were, the dates, the jokes, the fights, but it’s time to let go. I let out my last few tears and dried my face. Walking watching the sunset, Goodbye Park Sunghoon.

a/n: pls share your thoughts on this piece, its my first time writing angst, send asks or comments 🙏

[momosandlemonsoda]

for the wip ask game: i think that i'm breaking form a bit here, but i'd be fascinated to hear about your process for the long fics, if you wanted to talk about it. how much do you have planned out in your head before you start? how do you maintain such consistency in them?

apologies right now for how long this got...

So I’ve been mulling this over for a while, trying to figure out how to answer it. I’ll go ahead and use DTSD as the example, since it’s the one currently living rent-free in my brain, but this probably applies to all my long-fic.

A lot of times when I get an idea and start rotating it in my head, I spend a fair amount of time just doing that. Trying to figure out what’s going on, where the story is going, what I want to do before the end. I usually have things I’ve envisioned I want to include. And then lines show up out of nowhere that I have to write down, and then a scene kind of forms around it. 

I start telling myself the story—but I can’t go too far, because if I know the ending, I lose momentum and probably won’t write it. At the same time, I fully expected to be at the next major plot point by now (this was supposed to be 80k, she wails) and I am not because first, there were other plot points that showed up, but more… I wanted to let things happen more organically. I could write you 3k of LLH and DFS fucking for the first time in 10 years, but it wouldn’t have been true to either of them (and I really, really needed LLH to attempt to seduce DFS in an alley and get interrupted, this has been living in my head since like November) (also sex scenes are the worst and I need so many words to get to the actual fucking, maybe this wasn’t a good example). (maybe a better example is that I had no plans for FDB to play the showcase originally and when I decided to do that I figured that there would be like 4 chapters between him signing up and him playing.) ( ha ha ha sob )

I do know what is happening further out—I know the backstory that I’ve been feeding you in dribs and drabs, I know the way that Shan Gudao and Jiao Liqiao are going to show back up. I am determined to have LLH and FDB dance at a club and DFS angrily stalk over and join them. I have a fair amount of the next big arc written down in disconnected pieces (why are the connect-y bits so hard?). So I guess the good news is, I do have a plan for DTSD, and I don’t write unhappy endings. But the ~bad~ news is, I don’t actually know what that happy ending is. I’m still feeling out what seems in character for the three of them. 

As for consistency—first, thanks very much for the compliment! Second, the fics I like best, the ones I come back to again and again, are the ones that take their time to get where they’re going because they really dig into their characters, and they let the characters breathe so that their actions make sense, they aren’t contrived for the plot. So a lot of it is me going, ok, but how would they get there? How would that character react? With a background as a child of privilege living in the real world, not fantasy jianghu China, how does FDB react to being told he can’t make music, when that’s fundamental to him? If Li Lianhua is planning on keeping the rhythms of his life and leaving town because it’s warm now and he has enough money, what would make him stay? (spoiler: it’s certainly not the two men who are half (fully?) in love with him.) If Di Feisheng is a well-known musician trying to make a comeback and his former bandmate turns stalker, how is he going to deal with it?

So I think that’s what keeps me going, and keeps it consistent—I don’t need to bend them into particular shapes because I’m not completely certain how they’ll look in the end, and I’m trying to see how they respond to what I throw at them, and stay true (or as true as I can manage) to my interpretation of the character in canon.

[yakool-foolio]

Idk if anyone actually talked about this but this has been on my mind lately

Lets recap for a bit: Yakou died back in chapter 4 because his soul was reaped in the Mystery Labyrinth, being revealed as Doctor Huesca's killer.

In Yakou's DLC, we see his wife's ghost give him the badge with the cell regenerating pill, right? But what really bothered me is how Yakou's gonna come back IF he took the pill.

Let's say the pill ends up working and Yakou comes back. But his soul was reaped in the Mystery Labyrinth, Wouldn't there be nothing of him? Would his Homunculus soul get resurrected? Would it create a new soul with the memories of his human self as its base? Or would Homunculus Yakou's body just be an undead being living without a soul?

There's a lot left unanswered with how the homunculi would be revived. However, there is some groundwork that can be laid out to at least form some paths that could be explored.

I think I have a pretty confident answer to your first query about the reaped souls. The reaping doesn't meant that the soul, and therefore the person, ceases to exist. I believe it's just a fancier way of dying 'naturally.' If the soul of a human were to be reaped, the soul would separate from the physical body, but wouldn't be completely destroyed. Shinigami actually chooses careful wording by saying that while the Mystery Labyrinth may be destroyed, the soul isn't. The body 'perishes.' She mentions nothing about the soul being erased.

As ya might have noticed, I specified that this is what would happen for humans, not homunculi. However, the reaping of a homunculus' soul may not be as complicated as it looks. This is entering speculation territory, but I have a bite of evidence to sink your teeth into! I theorize that when the soul of a homunculus is reaped, the body goes through the normal process of death. The soul is separated, and the body is now empty. However, when the imperfect revival state begins after several hours, the soul of the homunculus boomerangs right back into the now-zombified body. If the soul were to be destroyed, and the zombies were simply empty husks, then how would the zombies have any of their memories? A soul should most likely contain all memories. Hitman Zilch is able to recall his work with Yomi, although spotty due to the deterioration of the brain that the soul is reconnected to. Yakou gets flashes of photographic memories of his detectives, can recite Yuma's name, and recognizes his wife. They still have souls in them, but the decayed body and mind burns through some or many of those memories.

So now we arrive at the question of what would happen if a zombified homunculus were to be revived with the finished creation of the work-in-progress regenerative pill Yakou's wife worked on. This could go in several directions, but I'll stick to discussing the most notable ideas.

The least painful road to walk on is that if a zombie is revived, their brains are fully healed, and they are able to keep all their memories up to their death, so nothing is lost. That's pretty much the happiest ending. The narrative decision to write that would mean it needs some serious right to earn that ending, and I think I could at least provide a start to that in order to get Yakou back in perfect condition. Yakou loves and protects Kanai Ward, so he's selfless toward his fellow citizens. It'd be very in-character if the zombified Yakou made sure that all the other zombies were revived before himself. Their lives are more important than his. So in the end, once everyone else is revived, Yakou is rightfully rewarded for this selflessness by regaining all his memories.

The more bittersweet route is that the revived homunculi's memories are reset back to when they were first created, so they still have their human counterparts' memories, but nothing that belongs to them. In Yakou's case, that means he'd have no memories of the NDA detectives or the truth behind his wife's death. It's sad, but it's a very plausible outcome.

A somewhat similar, but possibly not as upsetting choice is that Yakou has a bunch of holes in his memories. He can remember some things perfectly, and some things he can't recall no matter how hard he tries. So there's a chance he could remember the detectives, but not remember anything about going through his Huesca murder scheme. Could have humorous results. I'll take a silly ending any day!

[goodluckclove]

I wrote some more asexual smut, and I really liked writing this one because for research I had to massage the shit out of my hands in order to create an accurate depiction of what I'm essentially doing whenever I'm not writing. Carpal tunnel kids unite.

I have a tag list now, which is crazy, and so shout out to @booksntea6982 @aroaceghosties @atlasthecactus @xarrixii @mushroommanchanterelle

If you want to get these weird segments straight from my first drafts mailed directly to your brain, leave a comment or whatever. If you want to be free of my curse, let me know. If you're feeling snacky, consider some little bits of cheese.

Enjoy?

“Skylark?”

Scott perked up and looked over as Edgar came out form the kitchen, wiping off their hands with a dishtowel. Their t-shirt was rolled up at the sleeves, the white material already stained with splotches of spice and sauce. There was another dish towel, half-shoved in the front pocket of their pants. Scott would’ve taken this in with more than the bare minimum of satisfaction if not for the shock of their entrance as a whole.

Something was different. They saw each other this morning, and in less than twelve hours apart there was some clear shift in Edgar’s foundation that changed both very little and absolutely everything. Their face was slightly flushed and beaded with sweat from working over the stove. The pale skin was evenly colored and looked tantalizingly soft. Edgar’s beard was neater, and their curls were a vibrant, spiraling wonderland that Scott absolutely had to touch right now.

“What are you..?” Edgar stopped talking as soon as Scott came to stand in front of them and outline the shape of the curl closest to their cheek. “What..?” That attempt didn’t work either, and Edgar snickered. “Scott.”

“You look incredible,” Scott murmured, amazed.

Edgar smiled warmly at that comment, and Scott felt the soft reverberation of it within his chest. It still wasn’t enough. To say that Edgar looked incredible was like standing at the Northern Lights and muttering “neat”. It was not even bothering to look down when a chubby-faced tomcat pauses to bonk his head against your arm. It was stupid and inefficient and entirely wrong at a moment like this. Scott dug his teeth into the corner of his lip and thought desperately how to verbalize what was inside him just then.

“Can I play a song for you?” He asked them.

Edgar raised their brow and smirked. “Already? You just got back.”

They started walking him back towards the couch. Scott followed, increasingly disappointed. “You don’t want to hear me play?” He tried hard not to sulk.

“I mean, I love your music,” Edgar sat down and pulled Scott down beside them. “You’re good at it. But you’re practicing before I wake up and you practice before we go to sleep, every single day,” Edgar’s eyes narrowed into a look that was far too knowing for Scott’s liking. “Don’t your hands hurt?”

Scott told himself not to answer too quickly. Did the bridge of their bond allow Edgar to also feel the slight ache of his every carpal tunnel flare up? No, that was insane. That was silly. It was far more likely they just noticed Scott fidgeting his hands more often than usual, maybe flexing them absently and tapping each finger to his thumb like his mother taught him.

It was hard to remember people could see him now. He wondered if that was something he’d ever get fully used to.

“May I?” Edgar offered, holding out their hand.

Scott wasn’t certain what they meant by that. Then he took Edgar’s hand and watched as his lover turned his palm upright and began rubbing the knuckle of their thumb into the flesh between his pointer finger and thumb.

An immediate shudder went through Scott, a cloud of tingling static bathing his heart while it thumped in his chest. Edgar didn’t appear to see this reaction. They just kept circling their thumb, kneading the aching clouds of tension. Following some sort of otherworldly instinct, they rose their knuckle up to the base of Scott’s index finger and applied a constant, circling pressure across the curve of his upper palm.

“So how did the transfusion go?” Edgar asked idly, because for them this wasn’t a big deal at all.

Scott wanted to match the casual attitude coming from his bond. He tried to make some sort of joke about the kind of novelty scrubs people wear these days. Just when he opened his mouth to speak, Edgar held Scott’s fingers and pushed them down to stretch the entirety of his palm, and the only thing his voice was able to do at that moment was slip out a soft moan.

His eyes fluttered shut, succumbing to the small death of tension, the sweet burn of scratching an itch that only knew how to express itself through pain. Edgar’s movements stopped and Scott cringed. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see his lover’s face, avoiding either his embarrassment or the fear of their excitement.

“Wow,” Edgar said. “You really needed this, didn’t you?”

Scott opened one eye. Edgar was still holding his hand, not swayed in either direction by his moaning. If anything, they look lightly amused by the whole outburst.

“Should I stop?” They asked.

Their tone was just as simple as it was when they came in. There was a small clatter from the kitchen and they shifted their gaze behind them briefly. While it was clear they were present in the situation and wanted to be there, it was equally as obvious that they were also in the mindset of whatever they were cooking.

Scott relaxed as that thought settled over him. “No,” he whispered. “Please keep going. It feels nice.”

Edgar worked on his forearm next, rubbing into the flesh on either side of the main vein, up and down Scott’s arm. By this point Scott was slumped against the couch, just a limp and boneless thing, drawing in a breath every time they felt a pain point activated and then tenderly pressed into dreamless sleep.

They must do this a lot, they thought, even though thinking right now was incredibly difficult. They cook. They use their hands. They must ache too.

After what felt like hours but was more likely just a minute or so, Scott felt obliged to speak. “I...I saw Garfield,” he stammered vaguely.

Even though his vision was slightly obscured by the cushion of the couch, he still saw Edgar smile. “You saw Garfield?” They repeated.

“No. Uh – fuck. There was...mm. A woman,” Scott sucked in some air and sighed shakily. “S-She had a Garfield –”

“Yeah, Skylark, maybe now isn’t a good time for conversation.”

Scott swallowed hard and hummed. He heard Edgar chuckle, and the sound was so sweet and relaxed that he couldn’t help but laugh too.

[thisliminalspacedaydreams]

Hey, Mar! Since you've reblogged my post about the ask game, I thought I'd give it a shot.

I've read a lot of your amazing fics, but the first one was Echoes in Eternity and I will always love it, so I wanted to ask numbers 2,3 and 17 about that one.

Answer what you're comfortable with and have a nice day!

Hi!

Oh my god Echoes in Eternity my beloved first jump into fanfiction as an adult. My hiatus child. My forgotten baby in the corner. Actually this might bring me back to it. Let's go have a snoop!

2- What is your favorite paragraph from EoE? Is there a reason it’s your favorite?

I actually got a little stuck with this story a while back, and introducing Panville gave me so much energy and passion. This passage (the first paragraph, but the entire thing actually) is still vividly imprinted in my brain. I would write it very differently now, but I think you start to see my special voice come through here, and it’s really special to me 🥹.

3- What is the most amount of research you’ve done for the smallest detail? What was the detail and how much time/effort went into researching it?

For EoE, I planned so much. I have 2 entire notebooks of information about gladiators and gladiators fights and working in the roman army. I read Gladius: The World of the Roman Soldier, The Gladiators - Historical Novel: A Tale of Rome and Judea, and I read a book about ancient fighting techniques. I’ve never really used much of it, because I ended up not expanding in the way I thought I might do, but the entire gladiator/werewolf system was fully fleshed out before I even started the story. I started researching in June and started writing in September. I have… so many notes on the Hogwarts Gladiator system, I could write a “The world of EoE” sidefic.

I think I really had this illusion of grandeur when I started, that it would be a book in 3 parts, and I just didn’t think that I’d… lose interest? I easily read big fics (150K+) and kind of thought that EoE would be that, and that I would spend a LOT more time in the Dome having Hermione really get into the ranks and the entire system. But then I just wasn’t really… I could tell I wasn’t going to be able to finish, that I would lose interest too fast, so I made a few changes. I still plan on finishing the last 2 chapters, half of one is already written. But it’s hard to wrap up a story you’re no longer fully involved in, especially when you know there are a lot of people waiting for that update. I don’t want to disappoint, so I’d rather take my time.

17- What does your editing process look like?

I have a lot of flaws as a writer, but my two main ones is that I don’t know how to write a satisfying ending (finishing anything is not a habit of mine), and that I don’t know how to write a scene either. 

I often tend to write the entire dialogue, with the most basic, boring stage direction “he looks”, “he shrugs”, “he turns”, and then I go back and try to make it bearable for you guys. 

Green and I also tend to send each other bits and pieces of stuff and go “does that even make sense”, because we tend to get lost in metaphors.

I also put a lot of placeholders because I’m French and can’t always remember the word I’m looking for.

And sometimes I have stuff like this and it’s up to me to then remember what the hell I was talking about:

Scene : “You think I didn’t know about your sneaking into my library?” “Library?” “Books.”

But generally speaking I’ll sit down, write the entire draft of the next chapter in one go, and then spend either hours, days or weeks adding in the forms to make it pretty.

Thank you for the ask and for bringing me back to Echoes 🥹 my beloved forgotten child.

[sonicasura]

Heritage Through Cognition

An insane idea that has been pecking at my brain for awhile. If the title wasn't enough foreshadowing, this is a Persona 5 based idea. Let's get started.

Before the next game that would determine the fate of humanity is rigged by a mad god, another decides to even the scale. A blue butterfly flies through an alternate realm where kaiju rampage for a simple goal. Obtain a piece of Cognition from two like-minded souls.

Fragments that when once combined would give life to the butterfly god's champion. An apology was given to the newborn child as he is soon left by the doorstep of the Amamiya Household. Who were the souls whose Cognition is used in the process? Kafka Hibino and Soshiro Hoshina.

I'm sorry but I couldn't resist. Ren Amamiya is essentially a Hoshikaf kid because by god it's an image my ass cannot unsee. Hairstyle, personality, weapon choice(Soshiro uses swords + Kafka can't= Ren uses a knife), etc. Yeah, these three! 👇

Back on to the topic at hand... Ren has no clue about his real origins through his life. Although his creation did have a side effect on both Soshiro and Kafka. Whenever Ren goes to sleep at the end of each month, he relives it's entirety again but with the two men there instead of his parents.

Soshiro and Kafka believe it's just some weird yet lovely constant dream for months. Living a peaceful kaiju free life with a great child alongside a perfect lover. That is until they both bump into each other a week later. You can bet the duo were so confused as Kafka figures they could talk about the experience at a nearby coffee shop.

The two don't know why they keep having this strange dream or why but decided to stay in touch. Something that would continue for 12 more months without deviation. (A year = 1 month basically.)

Then Ren gets arrested and the dreams strangely stop for two weeks. (Kafka would also gain his Kaiju powers during this period with Soshiro knowing about it too rather than just Reno.) A peculiar change that didn't bode well for either of them.

This hunch would be proven right when they both wake in a strange castle. Kafka stuck in kaiju form while Soshiro somehow had his Defense Force gear. Wandering around the castle, the men would soon reunite with Ren (just awakened his Persona) and his group.

Yup. Soshiro and Kafka get to go through the events of Persona 5 Royal as why not have some unaware family bonding? (I'll go more into that in a different post.) Here's how things work with the two.

Only their minds have been transported, not their bodies so both are essentially comatose to everybody else back home. Kafka's kaiju form and Soshiro's DF gear function similar to the Phantom Thieves' outfits so they are constantly active in the Metaverse. Finally only Ren, his confidants, alongside those who have entered the Metaverse can see either man.

Kafka and Soshiro are basically ghosts to everyone else since they don't have their actual bodies. The Persona often take advantage of this to talk with both whenever possible. Even potential demons based on literature, fiction, mythology or history need a break from their teenage charges.

Before you ask, Ren does have a Kaiju form. The reason is because Tiny, the larval kaiju, altered Kafka's cognition and thus the teen's body received one in return upon the two reuniting. Kinda a transfer based update comparison wise. It fully awakens after Ren makes it back to Leblanc post Interrogation.

A life or death response that raised a lot of questions between the KN8 duo. Ren's Kaiju form looks very similar to Kafka's but leaner, horns are arched like Arsene's, highlights/eyes are red, skull mask resembling his Phantom Thief one, a long slender tail, and black bat wings with purple feathers. The answer is revealed when the real Igor comes back.

Let me tell you that the conversation between Ren, Kafka and Soshiro was a bit awkward afterwards. A butterfly god did make a kid from both their cognitions without permission after all. Now I know some of you guys are wondering what's going to happen to our dear Joker once Royal's events end.

Well, Ren ends up in the KN8 world since that's where the cognition used to make him is from. First he awakens inside the Velvet Room alongside Morgana and has the entire thing explained to him by Igor. Both worlds are now accessible through the Thieves' Den with the duo also retaining their Persona. (Morgana also can switch forms too.)

Considering how dangerous the KN8 world is, some extra protection would be needed. There's of course a drawback. Persona are tangible in that realm thus everyone can see, touch and even harm them. Focus being required to keep their inhuman partners invisible.

You can bet Soshiro and Kafka were very surprised but grateful to see Ren again. Although that begs the question. Do they explain to everyone about having a teenage kid when both aren't even married?

No one saw it coming that's for sure.

@foolmariofest

[mrfancyfoot]

Had to be put under for a minor surgery that I didn't know was general ana and a bigger deal until, like, right before it (recap: I'm in the ER stiiiill). Prior to said surgery, I warned the surgery prep and anesthesia teams (literally like 3x and this is the same place I've had all of my other surgeries where the exact same thing has happened each time) that I have some known extreme reactions when waking up (notably temporary full body paralysis that includes my ability to talk and extreme light sensitivity - informed them would be best if I woke up in a dim area/room and allowed to adjust to lighting). A quick scan to the Google says that these side effects are very well known. I have a long history of sleep paralysis, so that alone does not bother me.

I come to, predictably with the paralysis and photosensitivity, and immediately start having a panic attack because I'm under one of those bright overhead exam lights and it feels like my brain is imploding under the overwhelming stimulus. Despite just "waking up" I am fully cognizant and aware. I can't move anything but my left hand and my head from side to side (sort of). While I'm attempting to bury my face in my shoulder, I'm trying desperately to tell the tech what's wrong (I kept trying to say the word "light" as well as I could; I was snapping with my left hand and pointing up, and even fucking using ASL to literally spell "Light," and all he can think to ask is, "You have to tell us what's wrong." "You have to use your words, sweetie!" over and over.

He gets very obviously frustrated (tone, scoffing) and gives me something through my IV to "calm me down" but ends up giving too much and knocks me back out and the last thing I hear are inappropriate comments made with someone else and their laughter.

There is hardly anything scarier than being fully cognizant and trapped in your own body undergoing trauma. I was absolutely furious and felt humiliated.

His official notes from the incident state that I was crying and "mumbling and grumbling" and not coherent. They automatically assumed that I was just making a big deal of the pain from the operation (I had 0 pain from that at all at the time).

I was eventually moved back up to my room at some point. The moment I could talk again, I asked to file an official complaint. My normal care team at my room knew what was up b/c I warned them ahead of time- they were amazingly understanding and considerate and went out of their way to help me. A lovely patient representative comes up a bit later and takes my statement with her own barely hidden growing ire.

I'm not personally looking for anything but they need some process improvement (why on earth is this not documented in my file???<--except this, I HAVE requested this AGAIN), better patient empathy, and that tech needs to work on his damn bedside manner.

A whole team of people decided that what I had painstakingly reported ahead of time wasn't worth taking seriously. At least one tech is likely making inappropriate comments when he believes that the patient under his care is "incoherent."

In contrast, as I was waking up from my hysterectomy surgery here less than a year ago, I was in a very dimly lit room, the nurses worked with me to very gradually brighten the lights, and communicated in yes/no questions I could move my head to answer until I was able to form words and sentences again. I also reported this to the patient rep as THAT is what quality care looks like and clearly showed that the hospital is capable of it.

Always self-advocate. I came here with some major impostor syndrome ("It's not so bad that I need to go to the ER and potentially take a bed from someone else.") and was told that I had 1000% made the best decision due to the severity and type of symptoms. I was almost immediately admitted into triage and then the emergency in-patient wing.

And tattle on care workers who need to be better. Most hospitals will have patient resources and representatives that you can ask to speak to and contact. If you're lucky, it may lead to better quality of care if you're stuck there and being cared for by some dolt. Even if you never have to see them again, their behavior may be addressed and save the next person.

[1tad0ri]

what abt gojo taking reader’s virginity ;))

warning: virgin!reader, praising, fingering, eating out, penetration, mild overstimulation

gojou satoru x fem!reader

say less, this man owns my entire heart

“how are you doing?”

the question would’ve been almost cute if he wasn’t knuckle deep in your cunt, two fingers curling with seemingly no rhyme or reason to your hazed brain, but somehow working—yes, they were definitely working. it was the fact that he didn’t even look like he was remotely trying but was still somehow getting results that really got you—you don’t know why you expected anything less from him.

satoru’s lips wrapped around your clit, sucking, the feeling sharp yet... warm? the unfamiliar sensation made you hiss.

the top of a third finger nudged your entrance, slowly, carefully pushing in—the stretch; you didn’t know how much more you could take. your hips bucked against him, you throwing one of your legs over his shoulder and wrapping around his back to push his face closer, the flat of his tongue pressing on you. (not that you had much say in the matter anyway; the arm locked around your thigh pulling you closer to him wouldn’t let you get very far even if you did try to move away.)

“my god, satoru—” you propped yourself up on your forearm and then promptly let yourself fall back onto the pillow, face burning at the sight. even with his blindfold on, you could tell he was watching you, looking smug, attention focused so fully on your aching core. oh god, this was embarrassing—

“you were taking too long to answer,” he mused, mouth pulling back from your pussy enough to talk, fingers still pumping in and out. the third finger was working its way in still, the fit tight but he knew you could take it. of course you could.

“so?” his eyes flicked back up to yours behind his blindfold. “how are you doing?”

it was hard to talk aside from your irregular pants and you tilted your head up to look at the ceiling, trying to slow the racing beats of your heart. you nodded, swallowing. “good,” you managed out, then sucked in a harsh breath, “very good.”

“that’s my baby. so proud of you.” third finger in, he watched your face, allowing you to adjust, and when you didn’t protest, he curled it tentatively. the sharp rise and fall of your chest at the action spurred him to continue, stretching you further, your walls squeezing his fingers. “you’re doing so well.” a light kiss to your clit made you gasp—he was having way too much fun.

your slick dripped down his hand, perfectly matching the wet sound of him fucking his fingers into you. your leg pressed down more on his back—you didn’t know what to do, squirming in place, wanting more yet still barely handling what he was already giving you.

“do you think you’re ready?” satoru asked after a moment, voice soft—the vibration of him talking so close to your folds did not help though and you ran a hand down to grip at his hair.

“i think...,” a pant when his fingers bumped against you just right and you had to resist screaming from how he was going to drive you insane at this rate, “i think i am.”

that was all the confirmation he needed before he removed his fingers. you didn’t even get the chance to mewl in protest before his tongue replaced the digits, pushing itself into your still tight hole, flicking against your sensitive spot and fucking you.

“satoru, fuck, oh my god— satoru.”

and then he was pulling back again, tongue running up and down your folds and lapping up your juices before he sat back to observe you.

towering over your form spread before him, satoru decided that waiting for this moment was worth the pretty sight. “good girl.” he squeezed your thigh reassuringly, letting you catch your breath, and then setting about ridding himself of the remaining pieces of fabric.

his blindfold discarded to the side, you didn’t even have it in you to be embarrassed when he shoved his boxers down, cock bouncing free. you were already thinking about how it would feel, caught up in the lust of the moment. things were hazy... so sharply realistic yet mixing with the muddled euphoria from all of his touches from before.

satoru settled back between your legs, lifting them up around his waist. you automatically locked them around him, drawing him close enough that you could feel his cock bump against your clit as he tried to get comfortable. the sensation alone filled you with shockwaves of electricity and you wriggled against him, impatient.

he leaned over you, forearms planted on either side of your head, and carefully guided his cock to run against your folds. you reached up to wrap your arms around his neck and pull his chest flush to yours, tits pressing against his front.

“please,” you murmured, forehead against his and eyes squeezed shut, “want you. so bad.”

“fuck, so pretty just for me, aren’t you?” smiling, he moved to kiss your neck and the simple touch made you shiver. “so impatient.”

you pulled at his hair, brows furrowed and face hot. “shut up.”

satoru kissed the corner of your mouth and then nibbled at the area. “you’re so cute like this. so pretty—ow.” another tug at his hair made him ease up on the teasing (plus he had to admit he was ready to finally do this too).

“okay, okay. i’m going to take of you, baby. going to take care of you so good.” he breathed in, touch reassuring where it rubbed circles into your sides. “okay?” satoru pressed his lips to your cheek when you nodded, steeling yourself. “just tell me if you ever want to... stoppp—fu...ck,” the end of his sentence mixed together into a groan as he started to sink into you, cock stiff and hot. he was so careful, so slow, you almost wouldn’t think he wanted to fuck you into the mattress right now. nails against his back, you buried your face into his neck, breathing heavy.

“don’t stop.” the words spilled out of you when he tried to give you time to adjust, your legs pushing him in further. “god, do not stop.” your lips tickled against his skin and he pressed his forehead into the pillow beside you—you were so fucking tight. all for him. completely his.

as he eventually bottomed out after what felt like an eternity, he leaned back to look down at you, your looped arms about his shoulders not letting him go far. “i love you.” his words melted into your mouth when he leaned back down and his lips sucked against yours in a kiss, open mouthed, messy, and so good. hands tangled in his hair, you tilted your head up to meet him with the same fevor.

in between the meager chances he let you take a quick gasp of air before diving back in, you were able to get out your own sentence. “i love—” another wet kiss cut you off. “—you too—” and another. “—so much.”

attention focused on your mouth, satoru began to pull out just the smallest bit and then snap his hips back into yours, relishing the hot breaths you were releasing against his face. hums of contentment and hands flitting all over his hair, head, face, and back trying to find purchase were the responses he got from you as he continued with the shallow thrusts, lengthening them bit by bit until he was pulling almost all the way out to slam back into you.

the vibration of his grunts and moans, knowing you were the reason he was like this, it was too much. the brushing of his cock against the sensitive spot buried deep inside you had you cursing, messy lips and saliva mixing in until you turned your head to the side to breathe, gasping for air.

and then when one of his hands rubbed against your clit before you even realized what was happening, you clenched around him (earning you a low growl from him as you squeezed his cock even tighter than before), gritting your teeth. somehow he knew exactly what to do to get a rise out of you, even if this was your first time.

“are you going to cum for me, baby?” teasing yet lust-driven, his words went straight to the coil building up in your stomach, your whole body hot as he nipped at your neck and you took shuddering breaths.

“y... yes,” the broken word fell from your lips, throat suddenly sore from the tension, “please make me cu... ah,” he pressed down on your clit at just the right angle, rubbing in a perfect circle—god, so perfect, “please, just—”

satoru soothed you with quiet coos, capturing your lips once more. it wasn’t long until you completely let yourself go, slick coating his cock as you saw stars and the pressure released from within you.

“i’m almost... there...” he gasped against you, hips snapping against yours as he continued to fuck into you. the overstimulation was so good, fuck, you didn’t want to come down from your high. the feeling of his chest tensing up against you as he came had you clinging to his back all over again, muscles taunt under your touch.

it took a while for both of you to calm down, sweaty foreheads pressed together, breaths mixing and lips brushing.

when he could finally speak, satoru brought his hand up to cup your face and he pressed a kiss to your lips, one that was a sharp contrast to the unhinged nature of the ones previous. “i love you. you were so good.” satoru squished your cheek, laughing a little. “love you so much.”

you nodded, feeling feverish, still burning from the thrill, and leaned up to kiss him again, drawing him down into a slow, smooth lapping of mouths against one another. “i love you too.”