#i mean it really is not but the academics (school) are getting harder because our professors arent doing remakes (?) of the tests

[decodedparagram]

My life is falling apart :^

[fursasaida]

Hi! Just wanted to ask. How can I give my students assignments that are chat-gpt proof? Or that they won't just copy the answer without at least doing some editing?

Hi! So, I don't think anything is ChatGPT-proof. You fundamentally cannot stop people from using it to take a shortcut. You can't even stop them from copying the answer without editing it. However, I think you can work with this reality. So, you can do three things:

Don't be a cop about it.

If you make your objective "stop the children from using the thing to cheat," you are focusing on the wrong thing. You will be constantly scrutinizing every submission with suspicion, you will be accusing people of cheating--and some of them will not have cheated, and they will remember this forever--and you will be aiming at enforcement (which is trying to hold back the sea) instead of on inviting and supporting learning whenever and wherever possible. (I'll come back to this under item 2.)

Regarding why enforcement is holding back the sea: It is fundamentally rational for them to do this. We, who "love learning" (i.e. are good at what our academic system sees as learning, for various reasons have built our lives around that, happen to enjoy these activities), see everything they might cheat themselves of by doing it, because we know what we got out of doing this type of work. Many students, however--especially at the kind of school I teach at--are there to get the piece of paper that might, if they're lucky, allow them access to a relatively livable and stable income. The things that are wrong with this fact are structural and nothing to do with students' failings as people, or (tfuh) laziness, or whatever. We cannot make this not true (we can certainly try to push against it in certain ways, but that only goes so far). More pragmatically, chatgpt and similar are going to keep getting better, and detecting them is going to get harder, and your relationships with your students will be further and further damaged as you are forced to hound them more, suspect them more, falsely accuse more people, while also looking like an idiot because plenty of them will get away with it. A productive classroom requires trust. The trust goes both ways. Being a cop about this will destroy it in both directions.

So the first thing you have to do is really, truly accept that some of them are going to use it and you are not always going to know when they do. And when I say accept this, I mean you actually need to be ok with it. I find it helps to remember that the fact that a bot can produce writing to a standard that makes teachers worry means we have been teaching people to be shitty writers. I don't know that so much is lost if we devalue the 5-paragraph SAT essay and its brethren.

So the reason my policy is to say it's ok to use chatgpt or similar as long as you tell me so and give me some thinking about what you got from using it is that a) I am dropping the charade that we don't all know what's going on and thereby making it (pedagogical term) chill; b) I am modeling/suggesting that if you use it, it's a good idea to be critical about what it tells you (which I desperately want everyone to know in general, not just my students in a classroom); c) I am providing an invitation to learn from using chatgpt, rather than avoid learning by using it. Plenty of them won't take me up on that. That's fine (see item 3 below).

So ok, we have at least established the goal of coming at it from acceptance. Then what do you do at that point?

Think about what is unique to your class and your students and build assignments around that.

Assignments, of course, don't have to be simply "what did Author mean by Term" or "list the significant thingies." A prof I used to TA under gave students the option of interviewing a family member or friend about their experiences with public housing in the week we taught public housing. Someone I know who teaches a college biology class has an illustration-based assignment to draw in the artsier students who are in her class against their will. I used to have an extra-credit question that asked them to pick anything in the city that they thought might be some kind of clue about the past in that place, do some research about it, and tell me what they found out and how. (And that's how I learned how Canal St. got its name! Learning something you didn't know from a student's work is one of the greatest feelings there is.) One prompt I intend to use in this class will be something to the effect of, "Do you own anything--a t-shirt, a mug, a phone case--that has the outline of your city, state, or country on it? Why? How did you get it, and what does having this item with this symbol on it mean to you? Whether you personally have one or not, why do you think so many people own items like this?" (This is for political geography week, if anyone's wondering.)

These are all things that target students' personal interests and capabilities, the environments they live in, and their relationships within their communities. Chatgpt can fake that stuff, but not very well. My advisor intends to use prompts that refer directly to things he said in class or conversations that were had in class, rather than to a given reading, in hopes that that will also make it harder for chatgpt to fake well because it won't have the context. The more your class is designed around the specific institution you teach at and student body you serve, the easier that is to do. (Obviously, how possible that is is going to vary based on what you're teaching. When I taught Urban Studies using the city we all lived in as the example all through the semester, it was so easy to make everything very tailored to the students I had in that class that semester. That's not the same--or it doesn't work the same way--if you're teaching Shakespeare. But I know someone who performs monologues from the plays in class and has his students direct him and give him notes as a way of drawing them into the speech and its niceties of meaning. Chatgpt is never going to know what stage directions were given in that room. There are possibilities.) This is all, I guess, a long way of saying that you'll have a better time constructing assignments chatgpt will be bad at if you view your class as a particular situation, occurring only once (these people, this year), which is a situation that has the purpose of encouraging thought--rather than as an information-transfer mechanism. Of course information transfer happens, but that is not what I and my students are doing together here.

Now, they absolutely can plug this type of prompt into chatgpt. I've tried it myself. I asked it to give me a personal essay about the political geography prompt and a critical personal essay about the same thing. (I recommend doing this with your own prospective assignments! See what they'd get and whether it's something you'd grade highly. If it is, then change either the goal of the assignment or at least the prompt.) Both of them were decent if you are grading the miserable 5-paragraph essay. Both of them were garbage if you are looking for evidence of a person turning their attention for the first time to something they have taken for granted all their lives. Chatgpt has neither personality nor experiences, so it makes incredibly vague, general statements in the first person that are dull as dishwater and simply do not engage with what the prompt is really asking for. I already graded on "tell me what you think of this/how this relates to your life" in addition to "did you understand the reading," because what I care about is whether they're thinking. So students absolutely can and will plug that prompt into chatgpt and simply c/p the output. They just won't get high marks for it.

If they're fine with not getting high marks, then okay. For a lot of them this is an elective they're taking essentially at random to get that piece of paper; I'm not gonna knock the hustle, and (see item 1) I couldn't stop them if I wanted to. What I can do is try to make class time engaging, build relationships with them that make them feel good about telling me their thoughts, and present them with a variety of assignments that create opportunities for different strengths, points of interest, and ways into the material, in hopes of hooking as many different people in as many different ways as I can.

This brings me back to what I said about inviting learning. Because I have never yet in my life taught a course that was for people majoring in the subject, I long ago accepted that I cannot get everyone to engage with every concept, subject, or idea (or even most of them). All I can do is invite them to get interested in the thing at hand in every class, in every assignment, in every choice of reading, in every question I ask them. How frequently each person accepts these invitations (and which ones) is going to vary hugely. But I also accept that people often need to be invited more than once, and even if they don't want to go through the door I'm holding open for them right now, the fact that they were invited this time might make it more likely for them to go through it the next time it comes up, or the time after that. I'll never know what will come of all of these invitations, and that's great, actually. I don't want to make them care about everything I care about, or know everything I know. All I want is to offer them new ways to be curious.

Therefore: if they use chatgpt to refuse an invitation this week, fine. That would probably have happened anyway in a lot of cases even without chatgpt. But, just as before, I can snag some of those people's attention on one part of this module in class tomorrow. Some of them I'll get next time with a different type of assignment. Some of them I'll hook for a moment with a joke. I don't take the times that doesn't happen as failures. But the times that it does are all wins that are not diminished by the times it doesn't.

Actually try to think of ways to use chatgpt to promote learning.

I DREAM of the day I'm teaching something where it makes sense to have students edit an AI-written text. Editing is an incredible way to get better at writing. I could generate one in class and we could do it all together. I could give them a prompt, ask them to feed it into chatgpt, and ask them to turn in both what they got and some notes on how they think it could be better. I could give them a pretty traditional "In Text, Author says Thing. What did Author mean by that?" prompt, have them get an answer from chatgpt, and then ask them to fact-check it. Etc. All of these get them thinking about written communication and, incidentally, demonstrate the tool's limitations.

I'm sure there are and will be tons of much more creative ideas for how to incorporate chatgpt rather than fight it. (Once upon a time, the idea of letting students use calculators in math class was also scandalous to many teachers.) I have some geography-specific ideas for how to use image generation as well. When it comes specifically to teaching, I think it's a waste of time for us to be handwringing instead of applying ourselves to this question. I am well aware of the political and ethical problems with chatgpt, and that's something to discuss with, probably, more advanced students in a seminar setting. But we won't (per item 1) get very far simply insisting that Thing Bad and Thing Stupid. So how do we use it to invite learning? That's the question I'm interested in.

Finally, because tangential to your question: I think there's nothing wrong with bringing back more in-class writing and even oral exams (along with take-home assignments that appeal to strengths and interests other than expository writing as mentioned above). These assessments play to different strengths than written take-homes. For some students, that means they'll be harder or scarier; by the same token, for other students they'll be easier and more confidence-building. (Plus, "being able to think on your feet" is also a very good ~real-world skill~ to teach.) In the spirit of trying to offer as many ways in as possible, I think that kind of diversification in assignments is a perfectly good idea.

[parkerpeter24]

Fake dating because your family is pressuring you into a relationship with tasm Peter?

i didn’t write anything wintry in this? 😭

pairing: tasm!peter x reader

winter blurbs 3.0 ❄️

it was a simple dinner.

one dinner and everything would be over because you would avoid your family for the next two months on the grounds that college was keeping you super busy. it would be easier to tell them that you and peter broke up after

you always opted for the easier way out. why make your life harder. that was the exact reason you decided to ask peter parker to accompany you to the family dinner for your grandma’s 70th birthday. it was going to be a big celebration and rather than having your mom point out that each of your cousin brought someone well-qualified as their dates, you chose the easy way out and asked peter to be your “boyfriend” for one day.

“i will help you with history.” you pleaded, “i’ll cover your lunch for a week.” you bargained again when he seemed hesitant.

peter chuckled, “y/n, do you really think that’s a good idea?”

“i’ve seen you in drama class, peter. you can act. plus you’re smart. they’ll love you!” you sighed, missing the way peter’s cheek turned a shade of light pink.

“shouldn’t it be the opposite?” he raised an eyebrow.

“no, it’s better if they believe i broke your kind, innocent heart and left you.” he couldn’t help but laugh at the way you said that, “please?”

and that’s how you ended up here in your most expensive dress that ran all the way down to your feet, the green of the dress matching your earrings. your hair was neatly put up in a bun and when peter saw you, he forgot to breathe for a moment. you noticed his cheeks heat up this time and gave him a smile.

“uhm, ready to go then?” he mumbled, watching you move across the room to grab your clutch, your platform heels clicking against the floor. he wanted to compliment you on every little detail he noticed about you but all his words died on his tongue, considering how this all was supposed to be fake.

you gave him a nod and walked to him, linking your arm in his, “let’s go flaunt your acting skills.”

barely an hour into the event and you felt like drowning yourself in drinks. your mother and aunt won’t stop investigating you about your and peter’s story and you told them all kinds of crap, however it started to get tense once they cornered peter. he was a nervous wreck, you could tell. your hand was in his, his palm sweaty and cold as your mom kept asking him about his future plans.

the first chance you got to get away from them, you dragged the brunette inside the house, to your old room, “i’m so sorry they did that.”

your heavy sigh was met with silence for a few moments as you noticed peter looking around your room. he admired the sky blue walls and the desk in the corner of your room with all kinds of books, from your academic books to novels you’d read over your school years.

“just twenty minutes more and then we’ll leave.” you promised him, sitting on your bed. peter joined you shortly, sitting beside you. you looked over at him, “i’m really sorry.”

he gave you a pursed smile, “it’s fine. i mean, relatives can be annoying. i’m so glad my aunt doesn’t believe in taking me to our relatives’ place.”

you chuckled, feeling a little at ease, “thanks. i promise your lunch is on me for the whole week.”

he reciprocated your chuckle, “that’s not necessary, y/n.”

you gave him a look of confusion, “no, no. let me. it’s only fair.” you shrugged, “this was our deal. you acted well and i should do my part now.”

peter spoke up after a moment, “i’m not that good of an actor.” he shrugged and you gave him a smile.

“what?” you dragged it out, “you absolutely are!”

“well, maybe i wasn’t acting.” he chuckled and you could sense his nervousness returning.

“but you were really good… my family would never know we’re not dating.” you gave him a smile, “you were good.”

“i wasn’t that good.”

“why do you keep saying that?” your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“because i wasn’t acting.” peter blurted out suddenly, making you halt, your eyes fixated on his face.

“you weren’t…?”

he gulped, realising there was no going back now, “i like you- have liked you… for a while now.” that pink colour returned to his cheeks, “and when you asked me to be your date to this party… i honestly didn’t need bribing.”

you chuckled at his nervousness and leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek, “you’re cute.” that didn’t help with peter’s reddening face. he watched you get up– his hand in yours now– and got up himself, “wanna ditch this lame party and go on a real date?”

masterlist

[lynsstrange]

the marauders as color/winter guard performers headcannons

(For the enjoyment of me and the probably one other person on the platform who’s two niche interests somehow overlap)

James:

Section leader during marching season, team captain during winter season

Takes it VERY seriously

Is the reason they have twelve hours of practice a week, but also the reason they score very high

Everyone hates him the second conditioning comes around, constantly yelling at the team (Sirius) to try harder while they’re doing suicides and across the floors at seven in the morning

Rifle prodigy (he cannot stfu about showing off how many rotations he can do)

The overzealous upperclassman that scares off incoming freshmen

Always the one lending money at competitions for food. Also has first aid stuff, electric tape, hand warmers, and just about anything else the team could be in need of packed

Basically Team Mom ™

Mary:

TECHNICALLY co-captain

Her and James are constantly bickering over whether her position is official (“That’s Mary, our FLAG SERGEANT” “WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN”)

She’s much more involved in flag, doesn’t like weapon as much

A good teacher, but brutally honest to anyone she sees as not meeting expectations

Resident playlist-maker, and has dominion over the speaker in the back of the bus

Is constantly critiquing the show design and advocating for aesthetic cohesion (“the rifles would look so much better if the bolts were taped blue, just saying”)

Sirius:

Is good at weapon, more so sabre

Doesn’t like flag as much, but always gets stuck on solos on it because he’s talented

Manages to miss his drill dot EVERY FUCKING TIME by just a little bit and it sends James into rage

Never really knows the counts, but always in time

Manages to look good even in the shittiest of costumes

Trauma dumps and tells wildass stories in the back of the bus on the way back from late night comps

Constant guard terminology sexual innuendo (“Remus, I need you to strip- your silk, Remus, mind out of the gutter 🙄”)

Remus:

He doesn’t know how he got here

Meaning he got dragged into it by Sirius and James

(Mostly James)

Is basically being held hostage because of his skill- that being that he’s a lot stronger than he looks, so he’s good at rifle when he actually tries

Always has some dusty ass beat up novel in his competition duffle (me)

Late to practice or gone often because he has so many other academic commitments lmao

Always covered in bruises from getting whacked by equipment

Competitive only when it comes to Sirius. (Sirius can do a one handed forty five?? Remus can do a DOUBLE one handed forty five)

Lily:

Marching band historian during fall season

Runs the guard’s social media pages

Organizes all team parties

A STICKLER for team traditions, and makes sure they’re continued on each year

Pretty well-rounded, but prefers flag

Like Remus, only truly competitive and spiteful when it comes to James

All the freshmen love her because she’s a good teacher, and she has a special talent of talking just about anyone into auditioning

Always mad about the state of disarray in the guard room

Peter:

Like Remus, isn’t sure how he ended up here

Isn’t really that great at anything, but he tries real hard

Plays trumpet or smth during marching season lmao

And somehow ended up in guard by peer pressure and a crippling fear of being left out

Marlene:

Weapon NERD

And honestly all around guard nerd

Is almost as enthusiastic as James

She even did baton for a short period of time for fun

Is one of those people who can just whip rifle around in that effortless way (you know the type of person I’m talking about)

Constantly coming to James with feedback about choreography, and they’re always either getting along very well or at odds

Definitely on her way to DCI

Resident makeup helper (she can do a mean cat eye, even on a highway in a school bus)

Maybe at some point I’ll do the skittles or other various characters lol but for now I’m imagining just the in-universe Gryffindors/marauders as one team haha

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

So I’m 27 next month and I don’t know what to do. I had been studying at college/university in 2019 but dropped out due to my health, tried to get a job but failed, and then a family member died and the pandemic hit all in 2020, and then obviously there was all the lockdowns and I was forced into signing up for benefits here in the UK and it’s 2024, and I’m still unable to get back into work and I’m still seeing a psychologist and I just don’t know what to do anymore as I feel like my life is slipping past me and I’m not able to do anything about it, I know I’m not stupid and I know I’m capable and have career aspirations but also family aspirations. I’ve never had a boyfriend and while I want to have a good career I also want to get married and have children more so, I love kids and I feel like I’m never going to get either. I mean it’s three years until I’m thirty years old, and if I sign up to go back to university then it’s three or four years before I graduate and then years trying to build a career for myself.

Oh anon, I feel for you. I really do. I've several relatives who are (and were) similarly stuck - some of them were impacted by the pandemic years, and others were impacted by the 2008 global meltdown - so I know how hard you're feeling everything.

A few things to keep in mind first:

Everyone does life at their own pace. You are exactly where you're supposed to be because that's exactly where you're meant to be. You are doing just fine being right where you are. As long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you'll get to wherever you want to go, even if you take a few detours along the way.

When we judge ourselves by other people, we have a tendencey to compare our worst days to other people's best days because we're our own worst critic. (I blame social media for that - people only share the best things on social media which makes it look like everyone is happy little clams living picture-perfect lives while you're stuck down here in the muck trying to shovel out from two years' of rain.)

I think you'll find that there are more people who feel like you than people who'll say they're living their best life and they wouldn't change a thing.

27 is pretty young, and so is 30 for that matter. If you look at the whole scope of life, what is 'another 3 years' but a drop in the bucket, especially if it will make you happy? You may not have anything to lose if you go back to school now, if that's really what you want to do. But if your heart isn't it, or you'd be doing it because it's what you think you should do, then that may not be the right thing for you. And that's okay!

I don't know a whole lot about the UK in terms of career choices, higher education,a nd job opportunities so I don't know how practical or realistic some of my advice could be. But here goes.

Does it have to be a professional/academic program? Maybe there are trade schools or vocational programs you can look into instead. I think the UK might call it Further Education colleges? (We call it community college here in the US.)

And if you love children, what's stopping you from working with them now? You could become a nursery assistant or a midwife, a nanny or an au pair. You could volunteer with an organization that focuses on children or youth services, or maybe work for one as a receptionist?

One of the things I've learned from my cousins' experiences pulling out of the economic collapse or COVID-stasis is that sometimes the unconventional path is better, luckier, and more successful. So don't think you have to go for a professional degree. There are other options out there. They may be harder to find, but they're there.

I know you can do it, anon. You're already brilliant enough to ask for help, and trust me - that takes a ton of gut.

If anyone has any advice or wants to support our Hopeful Anon, please share in the comments or send in your suggestions! I will use the anon advice tag.

[finnlongman]

hi, I just found your blog :)

If I may ask, how in the world did you manage to write entire books while also being a PhD student????

Is there a way to not let your PhD consume every waking hour of your life?? :') please tell me your secret

Heh, well, the first thing to note is that I'm in the first year of my PhD, and traditional publishing is slow. So the books I'm talking about right now -- Moth to a Flame and The Wolf and His King -- have been in the works since long before I started my PhD. I originally wrote The Wolf and His King in winter 2019, when I had a full-time job; I originally drafted Moth to a Flame during my full-time MA in 2020. So the PhD is only the latest thing they've had to compete with for my time and attention!

I've always been writing alongside everything else -- I wrote my first novel at 13 and I was writing the whole way through my school years, despite doing a million extra-curriculars. Honestly, I have no idea where I found the energy, but it got me into the habit of writing during lunchbreaks or in short bursts whenever I had the time, and while that's not my preferred way to work these days, it sure did teach me a lot. These days I've got two sets of edits and promo and admin, and the PhD, and my occasional side-gig as a bodhrán player in a couple of trad bands, and whatever other casual work I pick up (today I was invigilating exams), so it's always a balancing act.

But specifically, with these next two books: Moth to a Flame was largely finished before I started my PhD in October, with structural edits done; I was partway through line edits during the first month of my PhD, and then copyedits and proofreading after that. I was doing copyedits over Christmas, including on my phone during a family visit on New Year's Eve. I've been editing The Wolf and His King more recently, with structural edits also happening mainly over Christmas (working on Christmas Day, my favourite) and line-edits happening right now.

Balancing TWAHK with my PhD, or The Butterfly Assassin with my MA (since I sold it at the start of my second semester and that wasn't the best timing), has mostly been about speed and prioritisation. I'm lucky to be a fast writer and a fast reader, so I can get 7k of academic writing on paper in the course of a day or two and therefore keep the wolf (my supervisor) from the door while I run off and do line-edits. Doesn't mean I should, but it happens more than I care to admit. Likewise, I can (and regularly do) edit/rewrite a novel in the space of two weeks, even if that is also not sustainable.

But it's also about being open with my editors (and supervisors) about my deadlines -- e.g. we pulled line-edits for TWAHK forward to March, even though I only submitted structural edits at the start of February and there's often a longer gap, because I'm going to be super busy with PhD work in April ahead of a deadline at the start of May, so I knew I needed to get the bulk of the work out of the way. That means right now, I'm spending more time on writing, but next month, it'll be nearly all academic work.

On really good days I can do both, and usually write for 1-2 hours in the morning, work all afternoon, and then write again in the evenings (this is what I was doing in December with structural edits), but with chronic pain/fatigue and a changeable schedule, that's harder.

Mostly, though, I'm lucky that my adult books and my PhD are very closely related, so a lot of the research I'm doing for the books also feeds into my PhD, and vice versa -- meaning that a lot of the time, I'm multitasking. It was much harder when I was juggling The Butterfly Assassin and my MA, since they had nothing in common; I would basically just focus on one or the other at a time, and was very grateful that we got a slight extension for our thesis submission deadline because of covid or I don't think it would've been in on time.

Oh, and I also don't have a social life (thanks covid + disabilities) so there's that, too. And my house is a mess and I don't eat enough vegetables. But I don't have any caring responsibilities or dependents, and at the moment I don't have fixed hours/work obligations, so that's something.

As for how I used to write when I had a full-time job (and disabilities) (and a social life)... honestly I was definitely writing at work sometimes. And not just on my lunchbreak. 🤫

[badbatchenthusiast]

how to do well at school

(work smarter not harder)

i’m trying to compile a list of what’s been working for me academically especially with all the fun side effects of being autistic in the education system (and the variable motivation/executive functioning that comes with it). queuing this forever so i remember to apply these, but if they help you feel free to let me know how it goes!!

1.) Print out notes.

To be fair, this only really works if you have access to a reliable printer, but I imagine a sizeable percentage of people do. For me it was definitely worth investing in one. This is enormously helpful for several reasons:

no need to make notes in class - it’s all there, in front of you, like subtitles to the lesson. makes it so much easier to follow the class and if you miss a day because you’re ill/not coping/have zoned out for 30 mins, you’re not missing valuable content you’re going to need to read up on later

annotating pre-printed notes with little details the teacher is saying adds valuable context and information, and allows you to write in analogies/mnemonics/key evidence/links to other parts of the course in a really different style to the main notes so it doesn’t get confusing to read (annotating hand-written notes can get messy)

having a physically printed copy makes it feel more real, and therefore less likely to disappear in your mind, than just electronic notes. handling actual paper is also less tiring than sitting with a laptop/tablet in a lesson and typing (especially for me)

having that day/week’s notes pre-printed over the weekend makes you feel much more organised and is hours less work than doing pre-learning by handwriting notes

if you type up the notes yourself into a table on word with key word/subtitle/question on one side and definition/answer/explanation on the other, you’re transforming the textbook information into new information, which is very valuable revision and will help with keeping it in your mind; it’s like flashcards, but in note form, and helps chunk content into more manageable pieces

i struggle with processing speed. listening to information *and* comprehending it *and* taking notes at the same time is too much, especially when people talk much faster than i can write. having it all pre-written means i can focus on just understanding and consolidating, and by the time we’re set homework i don’t have note-completion and content-learning to do on top of it

it helps with understanding of the course, in terms of what you need to cover in which topics and what’s coming up next

the best thing about this is it allows for a lot of flexibility in terms of how much time/effort you put into it. on days where i have the energy to sit and learn, i’ll make detailed notes on an upcoming topic with bulletpoints from the textbook and added links to our wider reading, or google context to anything i don’t get. on days where it’s not happening, i’ll copy paste from a reliable revision source/scan a page of the book and be done.

2.) Copy out answers before attempting questions yourself.

definitely one of the least motivating things when doing questions is not knowing how to start, or how to get the answer. a quick way to fix that and get more confidence is to copy out/annotate pre-written example answers or solutions from the textbook or mark scheme. this gives you a sort of blueprint to follow, and makes your time less wasteful if you’re often going straight into questions only to get half of them wrong.

youtube videos with example problems are also really great for this. pause the video before the solution starts and try to work through as far as you can, and when you get stuck unpause and finish copying out the working. doing this before starting homework gets you a higher grade on them and means you’re not wasting time getting things wrong, learning it incorrectly, and only finding out when you get it back.

for essay-based subjects, asking for exemplary answers to annotate is also very helpful. note down use of structure, sentence starts used, anything that you find is good about it and helps it meet the criteria. then, try and write a response to a different question in the same or similar style. get that marked, get feedback, try again.

3.) Practice questions are worth more than anything.

don’t waste time making hundreds of versions of your notes or exclusively rereading flashcards/the textbook. this might be helpful for content learning early on, but long-term retention and exam technique only come with practice. it’s annoying, sure, but works like a charm. so:

test yourself regularly - identify gaps in your knowledge and work to patch them, then test yourself again

get a feel for what kind of questions are usually asked in exams and write your own, then answer them - this, with time, will make exams predictable, or at the very least make you better at understanding what questions want from you

if your teacher lets you have extra practice questions marked, use them as an incredibly helpful source of feedback for improvement so there’s not such a steep learning curve with the first few assignments. if they don’t, use assignments intelligently to see what gets you marks and what doesn’t, then use the feedback on that to revise your technique and improve. if you do badly and don’t learn from it, this is a waste.

for the most part, teachers are on your side and want you to learn. if you’re stuck and don’t know how to answer questions/get correct answers, chances are there’s someone you can go to.

4.) Interesting information is your friend.

draw diagrams. make mindmaps. add pictures to your notes. colour code by topic. highlight things. annotate little fun facts. anything to prevent notes from becoming walls of off-grey text that you can’t be bothered to read. this also has the added benefit of being more interesting to do. so if you have a process to learn, make a flow chart with funky shapes. if it’s context you’re adding, make a timeline or spider diagram. type in memorable little comments or jokes that will help you understand things. copy out graphs and models and doodle important people’s faces. this sticks.

and if you’re feeling really outlandish, make some memes! even if they’re really bad. but for information you absolutely need to know and simply have to memorise, a bad rhyme or punchline will make it much easier to keep in your head, especially when it’s associated with something you enjoy and already think about a lot. finding creative ways to transform information helps the learning process tremendously, even if you just end up writing fanfiction of your favourite characters learning it too.

5.) Have a routine.

set out clear and consistent times to do work, where it’s hard to get distracted. any time spend working (if you’re working smart) stacks up, so that 20 minute train ride where you’d otherwise be scrolling? do some reading. organise your notes. do a problem or two.

consistency is key with learning. our brains aren’t made for storing irrelevant information, so keep everything relevant. to be fair, sometimes this does require an interest in learning not everyone has, but if you can engage with your subject critically and start thinking about it in your day-to-day life, getting into the habit of noticing things and going “oh, this key thinker would’ve hated this magazine” or “woah, i know the equation for the motion of this pen i just chucked” i think makes a real difference between doing well and excelling.

using spaces where you won’t be tempted to other things is also useful. if you have responsibilities when you get home, spend an hour at the library. meet your friends after 5, until then you’ve got homework. keep mealtimes, sleep and work schedules consistent and it’ll be harder for you to forget or have other things come in your way. this doesn’t need to be hours and hours, either; an hour a day that you can sit and reread your notes when you have a spare moment, bullet point an answer to an exam question to test yourself, annotate information you missed, do some wider reading, watch a youtube video on a topic you didn’t get — this all stacks up, and quickly. working smart is using the time you have as usefully as possible, and that starts with finding time you’re currently not doing much with.

[klaustheclock]

Ok I'm sorry to like the 1 person reading this at the moment but-

Why do people think being the favorite and golden child is a good thing?

Because I'm sorry but its the worst thing ever.

Ok I'm sorry I not trying to sound rude or inconsiderate or selfish but it's really bad and I just need to rant my heart out.

Also my situation is a little different because I got really old parents(I'm talking in their 50s).

Ok so let's start with being the "favorite child". Also I'm sorry to all the people who had to deal with worst favoritism and being the unloved child. Ok so I know being the favorite sounds amazing on surface value but it's not. I'm the youngest and you probably expect me to be a spoiled brat who gets everything and narcissistic because I'm the "favorite". But that's far from the truth. I don't get everything I want, I have extremely low self esteem and I'm not a spoiled brat. I honestly used to this that all the stereo types about favored and gifted children were true but now I realize that for me and some others it's not. I used to beat myself up for these things and tbh I still do even though I've come to terms with the fact that there not true.

This is probably due to my siblings. I have two older sisters, both of which are in high school. Because my parents favor me more I have a strained relationship with them(if you can even call it that). There both incredibly bitchy to me and shit. There rude and they criticize my every more. They beat me down whenever they get a chance, even if I'm already at rock bottom. This is probably because they think they have to make me suffer because of our parents. Which isn't fair at all. I can’t even talk to them about my feelings because they'll use it against me or they just call me sensitive and won't give two fucks. They talk to eachother about there feelings and experiences all the time and just disclude me. They also talk about me behind my back and even to our parents. At first when I was younger I thought it was just them joking around with me but I realized when I got older that it wasn't. However my parents "favor" isn't even really big. Our parents still buy then what they want despite saying they wouldn’t. So they beg and get a lot of things but the moment I ask for a book or something there mad at me and calling me a spoiled brat. Which leads me to my next point.

Being the golden/gifted child

If I had a dollar for everytime I had a mental breakdown because of my grades I'd be a million air.

So I have something called academic validation. Meaning that my self worth is solely dependent on my grades. I was always a nerd but this is just to much. My oldest sister used to be in the same role but the pressure was lighter. So when she got into high school she said fuck school and started skipping classes and shit. This was bad but it didn't help that my brother who is 21 now did the same thing but worse. It started with my brother so our parents started to put pressure on my oldest sister and me, the youngest. They said the the middle child grades were fine even though they were lower the both of ours. We were always straight A students but then my sister decided she didn't care anymore that left all the pressure on me. I was only in 5th grade at the time so it was a lot on me. When I talked to my sister about it all she said was "don't care, deal with it". And so I did.

All my middle school years was just academics. I went to a Ib league school so the work was harder than your average American school. I sill managed to keep all A's but I wasn't happy at all. I never got anything for my academics anyway. My parents just brushed it off and said, "Your smart you should get these grades anyway. We shouldn't have to be expected to give you something." All I asked for was a good job or something like that. That night I broke down completely. Then I finally realized that no matter what I do ill never be good enough for anybody. I had no good traits about me. I hear no talent, I wasn't pretty, and I wasn't really a fun person to be around. I over thought everything I did so whenever we played games I couldn't deal with the pressure. Once one of my friends told me "your the only person who I know can make the game hangman unfun." It was supposed to be a joke and we laughed it off but that made me want to cry. That day i realized from another friend that we kinda grew up to fast. Looking at it now I didn’t really have a child hood. I was always fored to play catch up with my older siblings. I always had to be on par with them to even be looked at as a human being.

I was always the one people looked for help to with was good(I love helping people) but it kinda became overwhelming. I kinda just hide it with jokes about myself. I'm the therapist friend but yet I can't tell people my feelings. I can’t talk to my parents, my sisters, my friends, and I don't have a lover. They'll either just brush it off or not care at all. It hurts a lot. This leads me to often be confined and left alone with my emotions.

Which leads to me today. The me currently writing this long ass Ted talk. I have terrible anxiety and zero self worth and I feel the need to be validated with my grades and by the people around me. But even with all this I still feel empty. Like it's just hard. I turn to books and history to try and distract me but that can only take you so far. Also I find myself comparing myself to my friends because my parents always compared me to my siblings. I feel the emine pressure to fit into the mold my teachers, friends, and parents think I am and want. I work as hard as I can but it feels like I always come short.

I apologize sincerely if this comes off as selfish or narcissistic.

I wanna try and over come this and gain confidence in myself but it seems impossible. I'm still only in the 8th grade so maybe it'll finally dawn on me. It's just wherever I try to reach out for help I feel so selfish and entitled. It's like a voice in the back of your mind telling you "People deal with so much worse than this and you have the audacity to cry at these things? You shouldn't feel this way just suck it up. Your just weak, nothings wrong with you."

Thank you for listening to my rant, I apologize for wasting your time.

[alluralater]

hii girlie, i need ur help so basically im dating someone and i love them so much but the thing is she prioritizes her academics like i understand she's got tons of shit to do and she's got exams coming up soon but sometimes it takes like 2 whole ass days to reply and our schedules never match because she replies when i go to sleep and our relationship is long distance so i can't visit her. and i'm an attention seeking whore, i understand why she's busy and all i just dk what to do. this might sound self centered and maybe being a jerk but okay 😭

hi! help is here, babe <3 okay so long distance relationship advice and close proximity relationship advice overlap plenty of the time, but not in this instance. i don't think you sound like a jerk, i think you're seeking understanding for your situation. i totally get it. personally i am not fond of long distance relationships as they can create a lot of longing and yearning for someone who is currently unattainable. but that's not necessarily forever. i was long distance with someone exactly one time and now i have a best friend for life and i see her everyday <3 to be super straightforward with you here, there are times when even in a close proximity relationship you would have to go days or even weeks without seeing your partner if they're busy with things like school or work. it is hard even then, and much harder in a long distance situation. the time gap + being busy can be horrendous if you're the type to want lots of time with your partner. i'm a quality time love language girl so i refuse to ever be long distance again with anyone. it's 100 mile radius or nothing for me lmfao. honestly, if your schedules are that erratic and you can't really talk to each other, it might be time to just pick up some hobbies or extend your social circle. she is prioritizing her academic needs right now and as her partner, it is your job to be supportive and understanding. yes it is hard, but this is what you sign up for, baby. being LDR with someone means having more patience, more understanding. it is very hard and i'm sorry you've been missing each other <3

[pasioncezane05]

What do you do when your school gives you a semestral break after exams?

I, Cezane Krishna G. Pasion, a freshman in the Regional Science High school for Region 02 and this is what i did after our 2nd Quarterly examination break. Why do students need a semestral break after exams? It provides students with a pause from academic commands.

As a RegSciHigher and a dormer, I experienced a lot during my freshman year in the Regional Science High school. Highschool is not easy! You have to go through a lot before even going to Senior High and College; high school prepare us before we go to a much harder lessons. During school days, I was not able to see my family face-to-face for five days and without my parents' support I will not be able to come this far. Without further ado, this is what I did during our semestral break.

On the first day, the day after the 2nd Quarterly Examination my parents told me and my siblings to come with them to withns and celebrate the Bambanti festival. We headed to our booth to take a photo and look at our booth which is the  Municipality of Burgos, the design of each booths we saw were mesmerizing and unique in their own way. Next, we watched the Miss Isabela 2024; the candidates were all beautiful and stunning during the pageant.

On the 2nd day, my brother and I were just left at home because my little brother was at school and my parents were at work. While i was in the house, i decided to find new hobbies for me to try. I also learned about our next lessons in our subjects. I also tried to stay up late but I couldn't because I was too sleepy at that moment but even if i try to stay up late, my parents would get mad since I would just ended up waking up late.

On the 3rd day, we returned to Bambanti festival to watch street dance, concerts and the awarding. I stared at them saying "How can they do it that good?" came up my mind especially the concert since the mixes of their voices were just beautiful to hear. Even Julie Ann San Jose came up to the stage of the sports complex she sang so pleasing and ravishingly. When it was time to announce the awardees, we got second place for the best scare crow.

On the last day of Bambanti festival, my cousin said she wanted to go with us because there would be another concert since she didn't go to the previous days and today was the last day of the Bambanti festival. We screamed because we saw THE JUANS and they were so good at singing and playing the piano, drums and electric guitar so well. After the concert, we ate popcorn and street foods and roamed around Bambanti festival.

I also had a sleepover with my elementary friends at my house for a little reunion after a long time of not seeing each other since we go to different school for the reason that they didn't pass the 1st screening test in Regional Science. I all missed spending time with them; our hangouts during elementary days were never never a forgetful memory, "them", being a part of my elementary journey is unforgettable. We made most of the time chatting, playing, sharing gossips and telling what we do in school for better and fun entertainment; we also did a movie marathon to really enjoy the little time with them.

Church is a place where we worship the God, and each Catholic people go to church on Sundays. I also go to church every Sunday to pray and listen to the lectures of the Father. I also eat the Ostya given by the church, kneel down and pray.

With the help of technology and multimedia, we can use them in order to appease boredom and give entertainment. It is also a form of activity that holds the attention and interest of an audience or gives pleasure and delight.

All happiness is a combination of enjoyment, satisfaction and meaning. That's what our lives need enjoyment and freedom. We need to enjoy our lives every time since we only live once.

There is always someone who always listens and tells heart-warming comforts. We can always learn from our downs in order to go up. Don't let someone ruin the dreams, plans and mostly your confidence on how to stand up by yourself and go up yourself. There is nothing impossible if we try, just keep on trying and trying until we reach.

Confidence is the key to succeed in life, without the full confidence we can't do anything. Feeling sure of yourself and your abilities. Being insecure about what we do isn't going to make a change in our life. Insecure is just thinking about what people think about us and that makes us lose the confidence we need to succeed.

Semestral break is good for students especially after a tough week. Everyone even teachers need a long break in order to have a peace of mind and we all have personal intentions. Going out or staying at home, having a short break from school was truly a lightweight feeling in the body.

A never ending saga of learning will soon be paid off if we do our best in our studies. Every up and down will all be worth it in the end. Trust on yourself and we can do all the things working together.

In conclusion, a good break starts with peace, learning new hobbies, and having a great time. We need to spend our rest days full of enjoyment and memories together with our loved ones. Like spending time with our families, we can share our problems and they can be our listeners and our friends who were always listening and there for me always.

[giftedsupport]

Good afternoon.

First of all, thanks for your blog! There are not many resources for gifted adults, and pages like this help me feel a sense of belonging.

It took me an embarrassingly long time to muster up the courage to ask for your opinion on the matter, so, If you have a spare minute to answer I would really appreciate it!

The thing is, I feel a strong connection to the label but at the same time I have a lot of doubt and insecurity about my right to this identity.

I scored 145 on IQ test, I was in something resembling a gifted program in linguistics in 7-9 grade, I have a lot of different interests, a strong innate curiosity and I feel most comfortable around people who are involved in academia in some way. I enjoy art, writing essays, philosophy, acting, gymnastics, reading, math and my ultimate goal is to go to med school. Actually, I had a near-death experience once due to a medical condition and all I could think about was that it would be so miserable to die while not being a doctor.

But on the other hand, I graduated from high school with great difficulty, had a terrible academic performance throughout the whole time and have no "real" achievements. Since I finished school I didn't do much. I'm severely depressed to the point where I had urinary tract infections because I couldn't get out of bed just to go to the bathroom for hours.

I'm also diagnosed with autism, ADHD, a personality disorder and cptsd.

I think this is typical 2e experience, but while I have no doubts about being disabled I have an impostor syndrome towards the second "e".

Based on this description, do you think I am gifted?

Best wishes!

— A. R.

PS; sorry for possible grammatical errors, I am not a native speaker.

You're gifted.

No question about it. Pretty much the only (semi-) objective way we have to evaluate whether somebody is gifted is an IQ test: if you score over 129, you are gifted. Your IQ was scored at 145, so you are definitely gifted!

You have also been diagnosed with a number of mental health conditions, so yes, you are definitely also twice-exceptional!

Here's the thing: giftedness is not about what you achieve. People are always trying to tie giftedness to academic and career achievement, but the truth is, gifted is something you are, not something you do. Some gifted people have really obvious achievements that our culture values. Some gifted people don't. It doesn't make them any less gifted!

People think that being gifted makes life easy, but the truth is that life can be extra hard for gifted people. We tend to be naturally extremely sensitive, both physically and emotionally, which can make daily tasks that other people find easy much harder for us. Add to that all the other things you've listed that you are struggling with, and WOW. Honey, you are achieving amazing things every day just by surviving. I have c-ptsd myself, and it's a bitch. I know what I'm saying here: Forget what other people might call achievements. You should be proud of yourself that you're still hanging in there.

If life is a race, then the starting line is at different places for different people. Some people have it easy: their starting line is really close to the end of the track. Your starting line is waaaaay back because you're dealing with so much. So don't beat yourself up for not reaching the end of the track as quickly as other people!

I also want to send you a little encouragement. Things may be really tough right now, but that doesn't mean they always will be. I also say this from personal experience. Sometimes we go through really difficult stages in our lives where everything seems nearly impossible. I went through one myself. I'm coming out of it now, and things are looking more hopeful. Keep going: there may be better things waiting for you than you have any idea of now.

(Also, if you're not already getting mental health help for the stuff you're going through right now, I want to encourage you to try to do that. In particular, if you have cptsd, a therapist who is specifically formally trained in treating trauma is probably your best bet!)

[forforever42]

*rant*

My sister is upset bc I just got an award/significant scholarship from our university, which, in her opinion, is me “getting money for doing nothing.” And like… I have no clue *why* they selected me for this award; there are certainly students out there who deserve it more. But I do work hard. I work ridiculously hard. Just because I know I could work harder, and I sometimes procrastinate, but overall??? I’m doing really good work academically and socially.

Also:

-winning this scholarship may decrease my government grants so it could mean nothing financially overall

-I really really really want to pursue a PhD, and if I can get in to grad school, I have 8-9 years ahead of me where I will be earning poverty-level wages for an extremely high workload so like. Getting a scholarship like this. Well, it’ll help in the long run.

-(I just fight the imposter syndrome so hard all the time and I’m finally these past couple months feeling like even though I know nothing compared to everyone else, I know far more than I did a year ago, and I’m developing important academic and pedagogical skills, and I just want to hang on to that yknow but it’s hard when Certain Family Members like to imply I’m a freeloader by taking any government grants and scholarships at all)

-(not my parents tho, they are super supportive of my academic pursuits)

[shawnmendesbuddy]

Day 6–I Hate You (25 Days of Ficmas)

Summary: Y/N and Shawn are rivals

A/N: This is so bad lol

Y/N and Shawn had grown up as neighbors their whole lives. Their parents were best friends which meant that Shawn and Y/N spent almost every Sunday of their lives eating dinner together.

At first it started out as a friendship. But as Shawn and Y/N started to get older, it turned into a rivalry. Shawn and Y/N were very close in age, and they were always in the same class in school. It became very apparent that both Y/N and Shawn were academically gifted and that caused them to be enemies.

Since the first grade, they competed over who would be the teacher’s favorite, who got a higher score on their test, who had more friends (although both seemed to always have overlapping friend groups), who got better grades, and in high school, who took harder classes, and who would be the valedictorian. They both ended up being the valedictorian that year seeing that their weighted GPAs were tied.

They also competed over romance. Who had the hotter date to the dance, who had dated more people, who had kissed more people, who had been on more dates. It got so bad that people quit dating both of them all together because they thought they were being used to help boost Y/N or Shawn in their competition.

Y/N had eventually found a boyfriend her senior year of high school. And despite Shawn trying to sabotage it so Y/N wouldn’t be ahead of him, it was a wonderful relationship. His name was Ethan. He was attractive and smart. Not as smart as Shawn, but he wasn’t stupid. He had blonde hair and a nice smile. He treated Y/N like a queen. And even though Y/N hated Shawn, Ethan tried his best to get along with him. He knew that Shawn wasn’t going out of Y/N’s life anytime soon, so he had to find a way to work around him.

Ethan had a special talent for getting under Shawn’s skin. He hated how nice he was to everyone and made Y/N feel like the most special girl in the world. And secretly, he was jealous of how close the two were. Even though him and Y/N were in a rivalry, they both knew the other better than anyone else. And even though they acted like they hated each other, they really were just scared of the feelings they had developed for the other.

One day, Shawn got so fed up with hearing Y/N brag about her and Ethan’s relationship that he approached her at her locker. She pulled her books out and Shawn closed her locker, leaning against it and smiling at her. “I asked a Brianna Peters out today.” Brianna Peters was the cheer captain at their school. She was insanely pretty, and every guy wanted her.

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows. He seemed so smug about it. “That sucks.”

“Why?”

“Well, I mean she definitely said no.”

“Actually, she said yes.” Y/N’s mouth dropped open in surprise. There was no way she had told him yes. Despite her surprise, she had to act nonchalant.

“Well sucks for her then.” She started to walk away but Shawn pulled her back into him by her wrist and pressed his lips to hers. She immediately shoved away but couldn’t deny that she felt a tiny spark shoot through her. “What the hell Shawn?!”

He pointed his finger to something behind her and she saw Ethan staring at the two of them, a sad look on his face. He started to turn away from the pair and walk quickly down halls. She turned back to see Shawn with a smirk on his face. “You son of a bitch!” She shoved him and ran after Ethan.

“Ethan! Ethan!” He finally turned around and she almost bumped into him. He had tears in his eyes, and he wiped them away with his hand.

“I…I think we should break up. I don’t even know what to say.”

“No, no. Please don’t do this. I love you,” she choked on a sob. “You know how he is. He loves to ruin my life. He saw you behind me and is trying to ruin our relationship. Please…you saw how fast I pulled away.”

“Y/N,” he sighed. “I really tried to get over whatever is going on between you two, but I really can’t do it anymore. You need to figure out how you feel about him. You may think you love me, but I see the way you look at each other. You don’t hate on another. Good luck,” and just like that, he turned and walked away.

That Sunday night at dinner, Y/N excused herself and asked to speak with Shawn privately. They walked into a hallway where no one could hear them, and Y/N slapped Shawn’s chest. “Are you happy?! Ethan and I broke up. I…I hope it was worth it. I didn’t think you would take it this far but screw you! Never talk to me again.” She walked away from him, and he vowed to himself to never hurt her like that again. He also agreed to her wish and didn’t talk to her unless it was absolutely necessary.

 And then they both went to college. And came back home for Christmas break unbeknownst to the other.

Y/N was disappointed to see that her parents hadn’t hung up Christmas lights and she saw that the Mendes’ also hadn’t hung up their lights. The day after she got home, she spent putting up Christmas lights. And that night, she was pissed to see that the Mendes’ had also put-up lights and they were better than hers. She couldn’t let Shawn’s parents have a better display then her.

So, the next day, she bought blow-up Christmas figures to put on her front lawn. And while she was inflating them, she heard an awful sound. Shawn’s voice. “Trying to beat my Christmas display aye?”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh joy, you’re home for the holidays too. Well, my display will be better than yours. Just you wait.”

Y/N and Shawn’s Christmas display rivalry went on for another week. Until one day when Y/N was putting plastic reindeers on her roof she slipped and fell. But instead of falling into the snow, Shawn was right beneath her to catch her. He wrapped her in his arms and cradled her head against his chest. She started to cry and buried her head into his chest.

"Shh, you’re safe. Y/N I’m so sorry. And not just for making you try to compete with me over this dumb Christmas light display, but for everything. Our whole rivalry. I knew I messed up when Ethan broke up with you, but it was too far gone at that point. Please forgive me. Holy shit, I almost lost you,” at this point he was also crying.

She hugged him and they both cried as he set her down and hugged each other. “This whole rivalry was so stupid. I don’t hate you, Shawn. I never have.”

“I don’t hate you either. And about the whole Ethan thing, I couldn’t stand the girl I was in love with dating another guy.”

“You were in love with me?”

“Still am. And I’m so glad I caught you.”

“I love you too.” And they interlocked lips in a passionate kiss.

As they pulled away, they swore they would never let their rivalry get past a friendly banter again.

A/N: The ending is awful, but it’s late and I really don’t see this getting any better. It had so much potential, but I have too much writer’s block. Haha. Feedback is very appreciated. Thank you for reading!

Taglist: @pamelagramm @mendesblurb

[amnah-journals]

First Week of January ₊˚💌✩ 🎀⊹☁️♡

Hi ໒꒰ྀི˵ᴗ͈ . ᴗ͈ ꒱ྀི১…♡

I'm not really sure how to go with this yet, but I'll just get right into it.

Let's start with this account. Making a blog was one of my new year resolutions, and I'm grateful I started this account. I don't have any followers right now, but at least I'm posting consistently. And I now have a platform which I can use to spread awareness about Gaza.

Secondly, I had seven exams this school week, because our school decided to not listen to the government and had to reschedule the exams again and again (bhai sahib aik din ki online class zaroori thi? aap ko chutti detay huay maut aa rahi thi kia? 💀) I did well on the Physics and Chemistry exams, and Islamiat paper 2 was easy as well (not sure about the question about administration of Abu Bakr, though). Computer Science was also smooth (because it's an elective subject and not a main one, I think they went easy on us). Maths....I tried, and maybe it's not as bad.

But someone claimed, that the original question one was out of syllabus, so we were given questions to replace that, and the new ones were harder, sadly. Same happened with a Physics question, but that was manageable.

Thirdly, I can now submit my second essay for the new magazine we are starting at school.

Fourth, I did follow my *new* routine for two days, but then it went downhill. Curse my Tumblr and Pinterest addiction!! (and Notion). But I mostly followed the journal before bed habit, and I only missed that one for two days, and I'll get back on that today. On the other hand, I ate healthier this week (avoided junk food, and had egg for breakfast), so I'm satisfied. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I won't magically become a healthier, smarter, better version of me in a second, but at least I'm making progress.

Last but not least, tomorrow is the first proper school day after my school stressed us out over exams for a month (I'd say we deserve another week off, but I'm looking forward to school). Though, that also means more responsibility, more chores and more to balance, I feel confident that I can handle it, and I've a good feeling about this academic term.

-love, amnah o(^▽^)o

P.S: If you find any mistakes here, or have any criticism/tips, please share. But, be respectful, I beg.

[carlyylovee]

Annual Letter 2023

Dear Carly,

Hi. Another year, another letter. Honestly, this year was pretty good. Sure, these last few weeks have been not so great in terms of health/maybe academics and being where you want to be but you have to remember that you are where you're at now because you had to put some sort of effort in lol. Anyways, yeah this year was maybe not the best in terms of anxiety and having that under control, but honestly you made a lot of progress with the ups and downs of that and kind of understand what might trigger it and the steps to get back on track. I say you're doing pretty well for what you have. This year I'd also say you got to explore a lot. You travelled to places that made you feel happy and spent time with people who you care about. I think though, that you still make excuses for a lot of things and that you still have trouble getting out of holes you dig yourself. This year has taught me a lot about how to be mentally strong and identifying parts of myself that I could maybe work on more. This year was the start of third year, which is supposed to be the hardest year of medical school and probably will be BUT you just finished the outpatient side and the hard part begins in like 2 days. Not going to lie you're really anxious about starting but also excited because I think inpatient is more what you're interested in. I also really hope you're able to narrow down what specialty you're going to go into but we'll see. I believe in myself. I think this past year studying for STEP and taking STEP was one of the hardest, most nerve wracking thing you've ever done. But, it was also the thing that made you feel the most relieved after you passed. I think you could be even more amazing if you just tried a little harder and stuck to a plan, but I know that's always been hard for you. You like to do things (maybe not like but are lazy?) at the last minute and everything always ends up alright which is why you keep doing so but you know its not going to last forever so you need to start practicing self-discipline. Also this year your best friend got married, and that was a whole fiasco in itself and it honestly still doesn't feel real. You are really blessed to have good friends, honestly. I know that medical school has been super busy so maybe hanging out with all your friends has been hard, but try to make an extra effort to keep those connections. Just because you know they'll be there for you forever doesn't mean to take them for granted. Also, take care of yourself. Starting this year you need to get back to a healthier lifestyle and I promise it will help with everything else. This past year has definitely taught you that. I'm proud of you for achieving what you have and pushing yourself to go places and do things even if it scares you. Try not to be so hard on yourself but also learn to practice self-discipline. I have a feeling inpatient will kick your ass lol but I hope you never stop trying, thats all you can do. I believe in you. AND, things will fall into place once you get yourself to where you need to be mentally and physically. (Also be nicer to family even if you get stressed out). I'm proud of how you've been able to be independent and strong, I think a lot of people don't realize how hard it is. I'm glad you have this time for yourself, things will happen when they happen BUT don't just go around expecting things to fall into your lap like fate or something. I believe in fate to a certain extent but now more than ever this past year I've learned to believe in doing things you want and trying hard to reach your goals by working hard and taking risks. I hope more than ever you learn to take risks this next year. I love you. Let's try our hardest next year (#hwaiting lol).

Love,

Carly

[ithisatanytime]

Charli XCX & Troye Sivan - 1999 [Official Video]

 im gonna try to give a couple more examples to clear up and hopefully summarize my point on mass shootings but well see how it goes

 first scenario, imagine the united states racial demographics were more like 99 percent jewish and one percent white, so basically an inversion of the racial demographics prior to unchecked immigration from mexico and ignoring blacks for simplicities sake. this may come as a shock to you, but i dont really feel personal predjudice against your average jew, and in fact i get along better and identify with them a little easier because im nuerotic and intellectual and a film buff etc. however if in that scenario i was the only white man in a school comprised entirely of jews and i either didnt realize i was jewish or didnt understand the extant of the difference between our two peoples, i might be tempted to do a mass shooting! why dont i have any friends? why am i so different? why are these guys such massive fucking perverts i mean i get horny too but im not gonna straight up grab some chicks ass on the back of the bus and make her cry just because shes there and i might get away with it! and likewise my jewish peers might wonder why im so prone to violent confrontation, why i care so little about money or academic accolades etc. now if i were say a chinese foriegn nationals son named ping attending this school, many of those same challenges would be remain but the source of the discomfort would be obvious to all and wed work a little harder to bridge the gap, when the difference between two peoples SEEMS either nonexistant or subtle but is in fact a wide gulf, and the reason isnt clear, you start running into serious issues. in that scenario im the same man i am now, and over all, im proud of the choices ive made, not all but on the whole im glad for the man i ended up being, but in that scenario i would be convinced that there was something DEEPLY DEEPLY wrong with me, after all its not allll the other students who are wrong and IM right, but then what? what human could just decide that happiness was never for them, comfort was never for them, and the literal torture they are subjected to by their peers are their own fault and they deserve it? no one will do this, no one does this. in this scenario suicide is the OBVIOUS answer, but if you have your heart set on dying you have nothing really to lose, so why not take out your tormenters who are alien to you to the degree that you cant even see them as human and they feel much the same way about you.

 the other scenario hopefully will be brief and parts of it arent gonna make a lot of sense, but if you get it you will much better understand the underlying point.

 pretend its the vietnam war still, white europeans are killing south east asians, and sure there were some vietnamese and blacks fighting on the americans side and some whites on the other, but almost every war is fought along ethnic lines and this is not a coincidence but the true purpose of war, it is the survival of the fittest competition when applied to highly social animals like us. imagine in this scenario the united states somehow transported american teenagers into vietnamese schools, but outwardly they looked vietnamese and had artificial vietnamese memories implanted to better fit it (LOOK I TOLD YOU IT WAS A SLOPPY METAPHOR JUST BEAR WITH ME) suppose one of these american sleeper cells just couldnt fit in with their peers, even though outwardly they were vietnamese inwardly they werent and they felt no kinship with these south east asian people beyond the most base layer of politeness. in his isolation, and inability to understand anyone around him, he snaps and shoots up his vietnamese school... mission accomplished?

 i know thats confusing as hell, but what im getting at is these jew mass shooters arent doing anything that warriors havent done to neighboring tribes since the beginning of time, the difference is we had the genius idea of jumbling all these peoples up within the same border, under the same roof, almost like sharing a bed with a complete stranger. the conflict that arises is not just inevitable but benificial for the survival of the species, it IS the competition and it wont be put off for you or oprah winfrey or anyone, these are our instincts. people like klebold and harris, the tranny shooter recently, uncle ted the unabomber, even if they arent consciously aware that they are living basically alone amongst a potentially hostile foreign tribe, they know it on an intuitive level because it is instinct, and would do war from within our own borders against us.