#i miss our old tomatoes and peppers SO BAD...................

[hightaled]

i got two horseradish plants, an orach mountain spinach thats grown to seed, and an amaranth for FREE

[velvet-paradox]

Heartstrings (Part One)

Fandom: Sleep Token (Band) Pairing: eventual Vessel x Female reader Length: Medium Summary: Memories haunt our beloved frontman, some he'd like to forget and some he's been hiding. Warnings: eventual NSFW, 18 + ONLY, strong language, tobacco use, alcohol consumption, supernatural (no, not the show) element, a twisted little game. Tagging: @synnersaint as always, @megangovier20 

NOTES: I’ll be reposting to @roman-is-a-horse as well as that’s my little hole in the wall for all things masked men and Sleep Token

ENJOY!!!

He's exhausted. He's all sweat and grit, dirt beneath his fingernails, mud on his boots. 

He could care less. 

What he needed was sleep. Glorious, pillow soft sleep. And the deity let him. 

He dreamt of monkey bars, chipped green paint, orange creme popsicles, a dizzy tire swing blurring in the distance, a familiar face hanging upside down from a wound up swing set. The air is light and the sun is high. He learned why ancient Egyptians rimmed their eyes with kohl. Learned the proper pronunciation for Persephone. Had his first kiss. Got into his first of many, fist fights and tasted blood and why you don't pick at knuckle scabs. The taste of woodchips. 

And then he met you.

Vessel woke with a jolt, restless leg syndrome, jerking him at the worst of times but helpful on the stage. 

"You're pretty when you cry." That silky voice that lulled him to the dreamworld sang down to him. Above his head, resting oh so carefully upon his pillow was Sleep, taking the form of a smoky red cat with six black slits for eyes. The deity grinned sharp, bone white fangs before leaping into the air at Vessel's recognition that he was indeed crying, his cheeks and lips streaked with salt. Sleep hung in the air above him, wagging its tail.

"Bad dream?" Sleep asked, resting its face on its paws like some teenager, coiling the phone cord, awaiting the latest hallway gossip.

"I'm fine," Vessel sniffled and turned on his side, an attempt to ignore his maker.

Sleep rolled onto its' back, little red paws pointing up to the ceiling before floating in front of his face and purred. "That's not what I asked."

Vessel blamed it on his uncomfortableness, the bed was cold and the sheets icy against his bare legs. Sleep wasn't buying it, squinting all six eyes at him as he tossed and turned for the rest of the night. ....

"That's not fair!"

"Life isn't fair, brother, get used to it."

"You big troll, that's the last can!"

"Watch it you little gremlin or I'll step on you and put you out like a light."

Brotherly threats floated up stairs along with the smell of someone cooking breakfast. Cinnamon butter, scrambled eggs, no doubt since his heathen brothers refused to eat them any other way. Roasted earthy mushrooms, peppered bacon.

Vessel clung to the staircase watching three others maneuver around someone's rented home in the highlands. Through a large bay window he could make out the silky green grass and sparkling yellow daffodils dancing in the wind.

SpaghettiOs. 

III and IV were giving II shit in between grabbing plates, poor thing was jumping up and missing terribly the can of the tomato sauced rings. Vessel shook his head and jumped down the last two steps before they all stuttered to a stop, III hid the can behind his back as if he were about to be scolded.

"Never gets old, huh?" He asked and snagged a piece of less burnt bacon.

"Not a chance." III resumed his taunts until II gave up, growling low in his throat and angrily shut off the stovetop, marching outside into the daylight.

"Package came for you this morning." IV mumbled through a mouthful of eggs as he found him out on the porch swing. Vessel took the box with more questions than answers.

"Who knows we're here?"

IV shrugged and joined him on the bench, crossing his legs as the wooden slats swayed.

Vessel looked it over. Just a standard brown box, wrapped in a weeks worth of clear packing tape. Just several stamps -international corners, a beating or two in a mail office dented one of the boxes sides. He took the switchblade IV handed him, scoring the edged until it came loose.

He shook whatever was hidden, another box came tumbling out into his lap along with a folded piece of cardstock. He handed it over. Though as he dug around inside, he should've looked at the note first because IV's eyes, already on the large spectrum, had bloomed into bright blue saucers.

"What? What is it?"

"Look and see."

Vessel dropped the note to the ground as it were on fire. Explosive. A grenade of nostalgia and pain, if not sudden death.

ARE YOU GAME?

No.

No no no no no.

He could feel IV's eyes on him as he fumbled with the spare box, careful with the folds, peeling back the layers on carefully placed and wrapped tissue paper. His fingers ghosted over the jewelry or what was left of it before holding it up in the afternoon sun.

Vessel began to panic, anxiety was never far from him as he thumbed over one of the personally laid coins like a treasured rosary and if he were totally honest; it was just that. ....

Vessel had recently gotten into a band called Immortal the previous summer, expressing himself in a similar manner of covering his face (still experimenting with paint on his hands, he was always on the look out for the best greasepaint his first high school job could afford), in black and white paint, cut off jackets and ripped denim. Had attempted to look as cool as possible with a cigarette behind his ear. He never smoked it, just toyed with his mothers' addiction. The girls dug it so there was always that.

His friends chased squirrels until the popular girls noticed them, could've been a dare, could've been a prank but that didn't stop them from turning and chasing them instead. Their shrills squeals of laughter sang through the halls, tickled pink for attention in the back of classrooms.

The boys had ditched him once again as they left him at the playground, holding on to his bullet belt as he made his way, by foot, across town towards his job. He was going to be late, but the owner of the coffee shop couldn't care less; he was probably a few beers in as it was only three that Saturday afternoon. 

Louie could really pound them down.

He was almost there when he stopped short. There on a park bench were a pair of shapely legs. Just sitting there in the air. Torn fishnets with shin high striped socks and boots, scuffed and beat up, much like his own when he looked down.

He crept by slowly, curious if they were a mannequin's legs or if they were real or, God forbid they were just that. No body attached! How scandalous! 

A murderer on the loose and Vessel would be the first witness to the crime. His stomach had flipped at that.

But still, the young man proceeded forward, cautiously now as he left his usual path and got closer, squinting when he saw one of the ankles twitch. 

Vessel made calculated steps around he bench and saw- gratefully of course, that the legs were indeed attached to a body, the body of a girl his age that he'd never seen before. She was laying upside down with her eyes closed, arms bent and on the ground beneath her head so she wouldn't roll off and crack her skull. An opened can of SpaghettiOs sat next to her, along with a sad looking purse.

"What are you doing?" 

"What's it look like I'm doing, smart guy? 'm thinkin'." Was her response. She didn't even bother to open her eyes and acknowledged him. Foreigner for sure, he thought.

"Upside down?"

"I get all the cobwebs out better this way," then she cracked one eyes open, searching for him in this state and she smiled, the brightest smile he'd ever seen on a person. Stunning. Absolutely fucking stellar. "You should try it."

"Doesn't all the blood rush to your head like that?" Vessel turned his head to see her face better.

"That's the point, silly! When my brain talks to much the best way to shut her up is to rush her out, let her out. Come on, try it. There's plenty of room." She quipped and wiggled over in the bench, using her hands for leverage.

Vessel looked at his watch; twenty minutes until his shift started and he'd need to be there and get his apron on and punch in his timecard and Louie might not be drunk and waiting for him patently at the doors with a pained expression and angry, uncaffeinated patron waiting to get their fix.

He had trouble moving his body and wincing when one of the bullets jabbed his hip bone, but all in all he managed her similar position. Fucking wild. His jacket creaked when he moved his hands to the earth below, mimicking her position.

"Good job. Now watch me. Just breathe in and out like this, don't think about anything other than that and you'll be clear as a Koi fish pond."

He frowned but went along with it, looking at her as instructed he slowly shut his eyes, long legs growing tired he let them hang over the back of the bench instead and controlled his breathing.

He wasn't thinking about school or work, his thesis he had yet to start that was due in two weeks time. Not what he was going to have for dinner or which skirt II was trying to get under this week. Probably Jessica. II was always after Jessica.

"See. How do you feel now?" She asked. 

Vessel couldn't even answer her at first, too caught up in the sensations, more aware of her perfume when his senses kicked into overdrive with his heartbeat pounding in his ears like this.

"Weightless. Clear." He mumbled.

"Exactly."

Then her hand was on his, carefully he opened his eyes and his world felt like his house of cards were about to tumble down if he breathed too loudly. 

"I'm Y/N." ....

He thought about you as he ran the rest of the way to coffee shop, the little blue and white striped awning coming into view as his boots pounded pavement. He was just seconds away from being late, clocking in just in time and wrapping a brown apron around his jacket in the backroom.

He thought about as he rang up a pretty dark skinned girl, fresh faced and smiling at him.

He thought about you when a crotchety old woman barked her order and waited too close to the counter until he could brew it, which she made him do it twice. He thought about you when a regular by the name of Johnny Two-Step came in, grooving to the beat of whatever song which was playing softly in the background. 

He thought about you on the walk home, every park bench he passed by, with his hands in his pockets were shockingly empty.

Would he ever see you again?

Where you from? What were you doing here in this small seaside town? And why were you eating cold SpaghettiOs right from the can like a cat with a tin of tuna? ....

"Straight from the can?!" III asked the following day, sitting on his roof with an open notebook, ready for some action along with a stolen can of his father's beer. It would go unnoticed. They always went unnoticed.

III's dad would give a shrug and mumble about needing to slow down though he never did, he just went out and bought more, stocking the fridge in the garage for the next day.

"Never seen anything like it."

"I would hope not! Sounds like she's a screw or two loose."

"Maybe."

Maybe you did. Maybe you were what his mother would call 'quirky' or carefree, the possibility of being a hellion might be written in the stars for you too. Either way Vessel was into it.

"No no no, that's not how you do it. Here, you're just gonna' make a mess of it. Now look, you take the can like this..."

Vessel couldn't help be drawn into the kitchen of a house party a few weeks later, he'd toyed with the cigarette again, holding between his two front teeth as some girl in an obscenely short dress chatted him up outside. He told her to hold that thought and maneuvered through the bodies. Sweat and beer lingered on the air, music pulsed and couples and a possible throuple but Vessel's standards were making out in a dim corner.

The snap of a beer can had him joining the little circle around the sink. A few guys cheered. A few girls made noises, he couldn't decipher whether it was a good or a bad thing at the moment.

Vessel towered over the group, watching II wipe his mouth over the sink before slipping his trusty balaclava back up over his nose. He saw someone and when he looked, his eyebrows shot up to his hairline in an instant.

It was you.

It was really you!

You cheered in delight, gave him a high five and grinned.

"Whose next? How about you pretty lady?" You waved Jessica over, who was shy at first but followed your lead in her pink and yellow bellbottoms and halter top.

After your next shotgun you hugged Jessica who looked worse for wear and slumped against II who was more than happy to help her stand and move out out of the kitchen. II passed him in the doorway, giving him a fist bump to the shoulder, talking to his love interest, lost in the haze of beer and clouds of weed smoke.

"You! There you are you big tall drink of water."

Vessel turned just in time to see you, focused and barreling straight towards him, a look of drunken excitement on your face. You weren't stopping and then you were lunging at him, embracing him in a hug that should feel all sorts of foreign and wrong but... was welcomed and warm and you smell like floral perfume and beer foam.

You looked up at him with silly grin. "Hi."

"Hi yourself. Having a bit of fun I see."

"Wanna' shotgun a beer with me?"

"Maybe later. How many have you had already?"

You made a goofy sound in your throat, released his waist and took his wrist in your hands, dragging him outside. Something made of glass shattered somewhere inside the house as you two ducked out and sat down in a little gazebo on the property. Vines and little white flowers coiled up and around the lattice.

"You gonna' smoke that?" You asked, digging those same weathered boots into the dirt.

"You want it?"

"Can I share it with you?"

"You can have it. I actually don't smoke."

Your expressions ranged and rivaled those of a comic strip as you looked at him. "What the what?! You don't smoke, yet you just casually have a cigarette behind your ear?"

Vessel shrugged. "It's just an accessory at this point."

"Next thing you'll be telling me is you're not a real jester!"

"A jester?"

"The makeup! You're not a clown either? Some practicing mime? Although if you were a mime you wouldn't be talking, would you?" You drunkenly mused and Vessel wondered how many beers you’d already rushed into your bloodstream.

Vessel snorted and shook his head. "Afraid not. I'm just a guy."

"A handsome guy." You huffed and lit up the cigarette, leaning back on your elbows as you smoked.

Vessel snorted, unaffected by the tobacco hanging around your heads as you both looked up at the moon. Tethered to it's soft glow over the treetops. "I've been called a lot of things, but handsome ain't one of them."

You bolted upright, cigarette renting space between your teeth and burning his eyes as you grabbed his face like you were old friends. 

"That's a damn shame. I'm going to make it my mission to tell you everyday I see you how good you look. Even if you are talking mime!"

Part Two Part Three

[missmusicmary]

The Southern Table Athens, AL

Sunday Brunch menu

Since moving to Athens, Alabama (a surprising omen I believe may hint at me one day moving to Athena, Greece), my boyfriend and I have been on a hunt of what places excite our tastebuds. As odd as it may be to begin with a huge photo of a glass of sweet tea, in the south a good glass of tea is art. This glass of tea was pure diabetis (and yes, I am referencing the diabetis meme). This is the first glass of tea we have had that we approved of. Now when we walk around the town square on a blistering hot and humid day, we have a goto stop for a southern water.

First up:

Fried Green Tomatoes

Be warned, pimento cheese is also on top of them, ew. However, nothing alittle scraping action did not fix!

Although unpictured, there were seven tomatoes perfectly fried in a cornmeal batter. The aioli was amazing! It was zesty, tangy, and inviting. I actually beat my boyfriend to most of them!

Main yum:

Southern Burger

Some say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and some chefs say we eat with our eyes first.

The meal started off great with my boyfriend being so excited mentioning the chef's detail of the most wonderfully toasted top bun. Not to mention the same aioli from the fried green tomatoes! However, the joy was short lived. The bottom bun was burnt, a disappointment he went on about randomly for the rest of the day. Bacon, the salty mouth watering crunch that always brightens up a meal. Bacon, a meat that people compete on cooking. Bacon, an important ingredient that gives fat, salinity, crunch, and smokiness. The Southern Table must have missed the memo on what bacon should be, on what bacon could be. Their bacon tasted as if it was cooked an hour prior and sat on a hot plate to get soggy. There is a difference on purposefully flaccid bacon versus bacon not maintained to keep the integrity of its cook. The onion rings were under seasoned, while the fries were on the edge of tasting fresh. Atleast the fries were making me come back for more of them.

Chicken Biscuit Gravy

This dish has so much potential to be a heart fluttering explosion. These elements are my favorite things to eat!

My first bite of the biscuit and gravy had me question my food pallet. I am used to a homemade gravy, sometimes spiced with ground pepper for what I know as a traditionally southern peppered gravy. Lord knows my mother adds too much pepper. She even burnt most bacon, and because of that, I do not mind eating burnt crispy meat at times! However, this gravy was so unexpected I dived back in a few times throughout the meal to assess my feelings. This gravy is an onion gravy, with limited salt and no pepper. I am honestly not sure it is from scratch due to the sauce looking broken. The biscuit looked and tasted dense. It was pure Bisquick mix. I was really looking forward to a fresh biscuit considering all the photos the business posts. I know there are different kind of biscuits, but I was still trying to assess where the funky taste was coming from, that I did not focus on the biscuit until later in the meal. I eventually figured out the weird taste was onions in the gravy, and a huge metallic and salty taste in the biscuit. They were probably trying to hide the fact it tasted like Bisquick.

The fried chicken. Oh the love of my taste buds since I was a toddler. The one thing my family could always count on. My 'emergency frozen food' that is ALWAYS in the freezer. Such high high hopes. The chicken was moist, and yet rubbery. The flavor of a fast food joint I have not pinpointed yet. The batter looked old, the way it congealed to the chicken reminded me of post freezer burned frozen chicken.

Lastly, the potatoes. Frozen, over cooked, maybe double cooked, and sat in a hot plate. No way the potatoes are fresh.

Ketchup. Thank you ketchup.

My ending feelings are mixed. Maybe our bad experiences were due to arriving 30 minutes after opening, or the fact it was a brunch menu. I will always go back for the tea and fried green tomatoes. That is a definite. As far as brunch again, I would rather cook at home. I am willing to return for dinner, even though it is expensive, to determine if it is a menu that fills me with happiness.

Appetizer: 11/10

Main: 3/10

Honorable mentions: sweet tea and aioli

[fraener]

6/9/23

things have been rough since my last entry. some things good, some things bad. i performed in portland- i think that happened since then. rosie got sick, h and i have been fighting a bit with each other. its always gentle, always internal, always resolvable, but its been pressing on me lately. im feeling very burnt out. yesterday was the last day of school and today it is raining and i feel like im unspooling a little. we’ve had some 90 degree days here and there, the garden is suffering a bit like me. i met a really strange rose bush that el introduced me to that has a link to the old homestead and really wants to eat meat. big old hawthorn too. lots of old strange magic there. this morning i made my bed and put the spare away, called fen, went to the bakery and half a chevre croissant for breakfast, went to the market and bought the first of the stone fruits. some underripe apricot plum crosses and 2lbs of cherries. the garlic scapes are back now too, and i got myself some tomato and pepper starts for the garden. i also bought myself a really beautiful drinking glass thats pale opallitic glass with a scale pattern and blue dots. i’ve been doing that lately, wanting to only eat and drink off of beautiful things. i recently got myself some millefiori cups too since i missed grandma. im going to take bruces class this summer and try and treat it as something fun rather than school, i might also work for a glass artist on the peninsula.. but im still feeling exhausted. i wish i wasnt such a sucker for overworking myself so severely. ive been feeling troubled at night. last night i woke suddenly in a panic, gasping for air and sightless. i feel worried about going for my cancer screening, i feel worried about next year, i feel worried about the year after. i feel worried about h and our relationship, i feel worried about my ability to hold my own without being alone. i think if we break up i wont date anyone again for a very long time. el seems to have really managed to keep her boundaries clear from the start, i feel like i struggle with that. ive only got one thing to finish up before im done for the year with school but ive been putting it off. ive also got to perform again tomorrow evening. i feel all over the place. i really need some space from everyone and everything. of course i asked my dad if i could come stay in the city for a few days and he gave me a vague and negative answer with a really transparently bullshit excuse that i can really only interpret as him not wanting to see me because im an inconvenience. im feeling a bit rueful towards a lot of things and people at the moment. but there is unspooling with rain, there are cherries again, and i can be happy if i really work hard at it. 

[the-bau-quinjet]

A Song For You

Steve Rogers x Singer!Reader

Summary: Snippets of Steve and Reader's life together as she sings a song she wrote for him.

Warnings: mention of car accident, parents dying, mostly just fluff though

Word Count: 6413

a/n: this is a mess, but I'm happy with it. It's basically a series of blurbs that are not in chronological order so I could follow the song. It's inspired by Like My Father by Jax. :) Sorry if it's confusing, hopefully it all makes sense at the end

Masterlist

Steve had been gone for months on a mission. It wasn’t often his missions lasted that long, so of course one of the few times it happened Y/N needed to tell him something important.

She shook off the annoyance as she got ready for Tony’s gala. He wanted to celebrate the successful mission as soon as Steve and Bucky came home. Of course, everyone tried to reason with him that waiting would be better so that the two super soldiers wouldn’t be exhausted, but Tony refused to listen to logic.

“Nonsense. We’re having the party as soon as they arrive.” He stated matter-of-factly before turning to Y/N. “And you, my dear, are going to sing.”

“Tony, maybe you could at least pretend to phrase it as a question?” Pepper scolded, eyeing the woman in question apologetically.

“Sorry. Will you sing at my party?” He grinned, knowing Y/N would say yes since Tony probably already told everyone she would be performing.

“Tony, you’re a menace.” She eyed him before nodding.

“I am, and you’re wonderful!” He exclaimed. “I happen to know you’ve been working on a new song. Care to sing it for Steve at the party?” He grinned.

“I don’t know how you know about that song, but fine. I think he would like it. Avengers only though! I’ll sing something else for all the guests.”

She rolled her eyes at the memory as she finished getting ready. Luckily she was ready early because Tony came running into the room in a panic.

“He’s here!” Tony’s smile widened as he thought about the nights events. “Let’s go!” He practically pulled her from the room, far too eager to share news that wasn’t his.

Tony had Y/N set up on stage right in time for Bucky and Steve to arrive. She sat behind a piano, ready and waiting for Tony’s cue.

As the guests of honor entered the main ballroom, Tony stepped up to the microphone. Steve stared at Y/N with questioning eyes while ignoring Tony’s speech. She smiled lightly, shaking her head at Tony in an effort to explain.

Steve laughed to himself, wishing for nothing more than to hold her after a long 5 months away.

“Give it up for Y/N L/N!” Tony’s introduction came to a close, signaling for her to start playing. It really was over the top considering he was only introducing her to the people who have become family to her, but she let him do his thing.

“Thanks, Tony.” She smiled fondly at Steve before introducing the song. “I wrote this song for someone special. As you all know, my parents died in a car accident a few years ago. Don’t worry, the song’s not that sad.” She earned a few laughs from her friends before she continued. “Ever since I was little, I wanted a love like theirs. It seemed so magical. Well, I found that love.” She smiled at Steve again.

“This one is called Like My Father.” With the name of the song announce, she started singing. Her eyes never left Steve’s.

I wanna come home to roses

Today had been the day from hell for Y/N. First, she woke up late due to accidentally setting her alarm for 6 pm instead of 6 am. She rushed to get out of the tower on time, only for the subway line she was supposed to take to be closed for repairs, making rushing a complete waste since she was going to be late anyway.

In her haste to leave on time, she forwent breakfast which only made her more irritable. By the time she made it to the studio, she had missed her morning meeting and had to play catchup.

The day only got worse from there. Something went wrong with every song she was meant to work on. Sometimes it was a small thing, like a guitar being out of tune. Other times, the song just didn’t feel right. No matter how many different ideas she tried to work on, she just kept running in circles.

By lunch, she was ready to give up and just go home. Unfortunately, her label was having a meeting to discuss progress for the next album’s lead single. So instead, she tried to cheer herself up with her favorite lunch. Just when she was sitting down to eat, someone bumped into her and spilled the entire meal onto the floor.

Suffice to say, by the end of the day, she was ready to collapse into her boyfriend’s arms and sleep the weekend away. However, her boyfriend was currently on a mission out saving the world, so not even he would be able to lift her spirits this time.

She trudged down the hall toward their shared apartment, eager to take a shower and lay down. It wouldn’t be as comforting without Steve, but it was still better than nothing. Finally reaching the door, she turned the key and shoved her way inside. Instantly, she stopped in her tracks.

The scent of tomato sauce filled the air. The soft sounds of Steve’s old music floated through the air, further adding to the welcoming atmosphere. She stood frozen, eyes filling with tears when Steve noticed her. He smiled, too far away to notice the tears, before turning around to get something from the counter. He held whatever it was in both hands behind his back as he walked up to her, a frown slowly forming as he noticed her expression.

“What’s wrong?” He questioned, hands instantly moving around his body to hold her only to be impaired by a beautiful bouquet of white and peach colored roses. Her tears fell despite her smile. She eagerly took the flowers, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug.

“I’m so happy you’re home.” She took a few deep breaths, calming herself before leaning back to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Steve replied easily. “Do you want to talk about it?” Despite not knowing exactly what happened, Steve could tell she had a bad day.

She shook her head, her small smile growing as she inhaled the scent of the roses. “No, I just want to be with you.” She leaned further into the embrace, relishing in the comfort Steve always provided.

“That can be arranged.” Steve smiled, carrying her to the couch to eat.

And dirty little notes on post-its

Three weeks. It had been three weeks since Steve left for his mission and Y/N was still finding his notes around their shared apartment. Every time she added a newly found note to the box, she read through all the previous notes as well. It never failed to cheer her up.

Most of them were simple comments about how much he loved her. Little sayings like “I love you to the moon and back” or “My love for you is as endless as space.” Despite the cheesiness, she couldn’t help but smile with each new note found.

But this newest note was… different. The 21 words scrawled on a bright blue post-it had her flushing instantly.

“I miss the way you feel pressed up against me, can’t wait to come home and pin you against the wall”

Suffice to say, Steve couldn’t come home soon enough.

And when my hair starts turning gray, he’ll say I’m like a fine wine better with age.

“Oh my god.” Her voice was flat as she emerged from their shared bedroom dressed for another one of Tony’s galas. Steve turned to look at her, eyebrows raised.

“What? You look amazing.” He smirked when she blushed.

“Steve. I just found a gray hair.” She pouted, holding the offending piece of hair between her thumb and pointer. “Is this what it feels like to be old?”

“You’re not old.” He chuckled at her dramatics. “And even when all of your hair is gray, I’ll love you even more. Like cheese…” He paused, trying to think of a better comparison. “And wine, you just get better with age.”

“Yeah, whatever.” She rolled her eyes before moving to throw the hair away.

“I mean it. I’m going to love you for the rest of our lives.” He smiled, a familiar fondness in his eyes. She moved closer to embrace him.

“I love you too.”

I guess I learned it from my parents, that true love starts with friendship.

She was nearly running down the street, doing her best to slow down the dog pulling her forward.

“Hudson! Stop!” She tried to speak calmly like her manager- the dog’s owner- instructed, but it was no use. Hudson would not stop running, no matter how hard she tried to make him. “Hudson!” She yelled his name again, surprised when he actually halted.

So surprised in fact, that she was still hurtling forwards, tripping over the now stationary animal. She braced herself for impact, eyes squeezing shut and hands sticking out to catch herself, only for the impact to never come. Instead, two warms hands caught her mid-fall.

Her eyes shot open, heart racing and breathing labored. The man who caught her helped her steady herself on her feet before letting go, smiling sheepishly.

“Thank you.” She breathed out, still taken aback by the turn of events.

“You’re welcome.” He replied kindly. “You’re dog’s pretty strong.” His grimace at his own awkwardness went unnoticed by her as she looked at the dog in question.

“My friends’ dog actually. I’m dog sitting this week.” She smiled, relieved to shift the topic of conversation from her to the dog. “He normally listens really well, but I guess he really wanted to get to the park. I’m Y/N, and this here is Hudson.”

“Nice to meet you both, I’m Steve.” He shook her hand, blushing slightly from the contact. Before she could reply, Hudson leaped at a squirrel, pulling her off balance again. Steve reached out to steady her again.

“Here, let me help.” He shifted the leash from her hand to his own, having a much easier time resisting Hudson’s pulling.

“Thank you… again.” She smiled.

The two walked around the park with Hudson every day that week, becoming fast friends. She wasn’t offended when he didn’t recognize her as one of the biggest names in music, just as he wasn’t offended it took three walks for her to realize he was that Steve Rogers.

They understood each other, despite the wild differences in occupation. Steve could easily relate to Y/N’s aversion to the media. Y/N knew what it felt like to have a team of people relying on you. The two just clicked, and thus a beautiful friendship was formed.

A kiss on the forehead. A date night.

“Hey Steve.” She greeted him warmly when they met up for their weekly coffee. He smiled, but didn’t verbally respond.

The two got their coffee, sitting at a table hidden towards the back. Steve’s replies were short, as if he was thinking of something else during their conversation. By the fifth comment of hers that he merely nodded his head or hummed in response too, Y/N decided to address it. “Are you okay?”

“Go out with me.” He replied quickly, eyes going wide when he realized what he said. Her own eyes widened in response, taken by surprise. “Sorry! I just, I mean- let me start over.” He pleaded, relief filling him when she nodded.

“We’ve been friends for a while now…” She nodded along, eyes still wide. “But, I want more. Let me take you to dinner. And not like we’ve been doing. Let me take you on a date?” He smiled nervously, hands fidgeting with the lid of his coffee cup.

“I’d like that.” She replied simply, unable to form a more complicated sentence due to the butterflies in her stomach.

“Yeah?” He released his breath, unaware he had been holding it. When she nodded, a wide smile appeared on his face. “Good. I’ll pick you up at 7 tomorrow night.”

“You mean I have to wait?” She pouted playfully as they both stood up to leave. He laughed, moving his arm around her shoulders to guide her out of the cafe.

“Just until tomorrow.” He smiled fondly, pressing a kiss to her forehead before helping her into her car.

“Tomorrow then.” She smiled. Tomorrow couldn’t come soon enough.

Fake an apology after a fight

“Y/N?” Steve questioned as he entered their apartment. He looked around, unsurprised to see her covered in blankets on the couch. “I’m sorry.” He tried for a small smile, knowing it was of no real use.

“No you’re not.” She pouted, rolling her eyes. “But I forgive you anyway.” She gestured for him to join her on the couch. He jumped at the chance, quickly moving to hold her close to him.

“I am sorry we fought.” He spoke up after a few minutes, still trying to clear the air.

“Me too. It was stupid.” She shook her head, cuddling closer to him. “I just don’t understand why you like it.” She made a face, grimacing at just the thought.

“It’s good! Pizza has really taken on a whole new life since the 30s.” Steve quipped, smiling when you laughed.

“That doesn’t mean pineapple is an okay topping.” She could fell herself getting worked up again, but ultimately the two burst into a fit of giggles. What a stupid fight.

I wanna road trip in the summers

“Steve! You were supposed to turn there!” Y/N laughed as Steve grumbled about the GPS and his preference for maps. “This is why you should’ve let me drive.”

“Nope, because then I couldn’t surprise you.” He smirked, briefly looking at her in the passenger seat.

“What surprise?” She smiled fondly, knowing he wouldn’t tell her.

“You’ll see. Now turn off the GPS, we’re not actually going home.”

Steve drove for the next few hours until the two arrived at a small house just off the beach in Maine. He pulled into the driveway, turning to find Y/N asleep with her head pressed against the window.

“Y/N, we’re here.” He smiled at her groggy state, laughing when her eyes lit up.

“Are we in Maine?” Her eyes filled with tears, a combination of nostalgia, Steve’s surprise, and residual sleepiness the cause.

“We are. As close as I could find to where you used to come when you were little.” He responded, a shy smile on his face. Despite how long they’d been together, Steve was always nervous about surprising her. “I talked to your manager, and you’ve got the weekend off. We’re going to just relax on the beach for three days.”

“It’s perfect.” She gave him a watery smile, pulling him from the back of his neck until her lips met his. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, just-“ Y/N cut him off with another kiss. It was passionate and heated despite the limited area for movement in the car.

“I love you.” She breathed out the words quickly, but meant it with her whole being. “I love you so much. This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” Tears still burned in her eyes, but the overwhelming happiness she felt made it worth it.

Steve looked shocked at her proclamation, but quickly recovered. “I love you too. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.” Y/N knew exactly what he meant with those words, and it filled her with so much happiness she thought she might combust. He kissed her again, and again, and again.

They shared a few more quick pecks before finally getting out of the car.

I wanna make fun of each other

Meeting Steve’s friends was nerve wracking for a multitude of reasons.

Steve was the only person Y/N had outside of her career. All of her friends were somehow tied to her music, except Steve. Her parents died a few years ago, and she didn’t have any other family. If things went poorly with Steve’s friends, would he leave too?

Plus, all of his friends are superheroes. That’s an intimidating group of people to meet even if you aren’t trying to win them over so you can keep dating their friend.

“Just relax, they’re going to love you.” Steve whispered into her ear as the two rode the elevator up to the main residential floor. Steve did what he could to keep the event simple. It was just drinks with his friends, who happened to be Avengers.

“If you say so.” She smiled nervously, laughing to herself. Before Steve could reply with more words of encouragement, the elevator doors were opening. Steve lead her down the hall to a room that resembled a lounge in a fancy hotel. Bars lined two of the walls, a mixture of blue and white furniture sprinkled throughout the room.

“Ahh, here they are!” Tony Stark quickly rose from his seat, ready to meet the woman stealing away all of the Captain’s time.

“Tony, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is-”

“Tony Stark, I know.” She quipped. In her stress to meet all of Steve’s friends, she forgot to mention that she had already met the billionaire. “It’s good to see you again.”

“Again?” Steve questioned a the same time Tony recognized you. His jaw dropped as he turned back to Steve.

“We met at a fundraiser a few years ago-“ Tony jumped in before you could finish the explanation.

“You’re dating Y/N L/N? The Y/N L/N? Famous singer-songwriter, been topping the charts for years, Y/N L/N?” He balked, eyes rapidly flicking between Steve and Y/N.

“Um… yes?” Steve questioned Tony’s reaction, unsure why he was so surprised. “I told you her name already…” He shook his head, waiting for the teasing he knew was incoming.

“You didn’t mention it was actually her! I just thought it was someone with the same name!” Tony nearly yelled, still thrown off by the surprise.

“What’s going on over here?” Natasha walked up to the trio, one eyebrow lifted at all the noise.

“Y/N L/N!” Tony gestured to her. She nervously waved to Natasha, sticking her hand out in greeting.

“Nice to meet you.” She mumbled, one hand still holding Steve’s in a death grip.

“You too, I’m Natasha.” The two women shook hands, giving Tony time to finally find his words.

“I have to know, did Capsicle recognize you when you met?” Tony lead everyone back to the couches, foregoing the rest of the introductions to start pestering you with questions.

“I think he’s a bit outside of my target audience age wise. I don’t hold it against him.” Y/N replied, laughing when Steve rolled his eyes.

“Oh snap, she just called you old.” Sam chimed in, reaching out a hand to introduce himself. “Sam Wilson.”

You smiled at him, introducing yourself as you shook his hand.

“Here’s the real question. Did you recognize him?” Bucky questioned, already knowing the answer. Steve introduced Y/N to Bucky early on in their friendship when Bucky followed him to one of their weekly coffee dates.

“Bucky, you already know the answer to that.” Y/N deadpanned, not eager to share her lack of knowledge on world events. Steve cut in to answer before Bucky could reply.

“She did not. Told me the name sounded so familiar, but she couldn’t place it.” Steve laughed as he teased you.

“You make me sound so stupid! I knew who Captain America was, I just didn’t realize it was you.” She huffed, annoyed with how quickly the tables turned.

Steve changed the topic by moving to introduce her to the rest of the avengers in attendance; Wanda, Vision, Thor, Clint, Bruce, and Peter.

Y/N continued to share stories with the group, laughing and joking at both her and Steve’s expense. Steve smiled fondly as he watched her interact with his friends, getting along just as well as he knew she would.

I wanna rock out to Billy Joel

“Stupid. All of these ideas are stupid. How am I supposed to put out another album when I can’t even write one decent song.” Y/N huffed to herself, unaware of Steve’s presence in the room.

He moved silently through the room as she continued writing down and crossing out ideas. Suddenly, the sound of Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire filled the room.

“Steve?” She jumped at the noise, smiling when she found him next to the record player. “Billy Joel?’ She questioned.

“You played me this song after a bad mission. Told me to think about it whenever I needed a reminder that the world’s problems aren’t my fault. Thought it might help.” He shrugged, a small smile on his face.

“I love you.” She got up from the couch, eager to pull him into a bone crushing hug.

“I love you too.” He returned her hug, careful not to actually crush her bones.

The two of them spent the next few hours playing Billy Joel, dancing and singing around the apartment.

And flip our kids off when they call us old

“Okay, grandpa.” Sam chuckled.

“Hey! I’m the only one allowed to make fun of how old he is.” Y/N playfully glared at Sam, enjoying their newfound friendship. “Plus, he’s younger than Bucky.”

“Rude.” Bucky called from the other couch, mostly ignoring Sam and Y/N’s bickering. It was a bit weird for him to hear someone else yelling at Sam, but he appreciated it nonetheless.

“Everyone calls him old.” Sam narrowed his eyes, confusion playing across his face.

“Yeah, but when it’s not me I have to defend him. Like when Pepper defends Tony from Morgan.” She easily compared her and Steve’s relationship to the couple, not realizing the weight of the moment.

“You see your relationship like Tony and Pepper?” Bucky questioned, now completely focused on Y/N.

She shrugged casually, unaware of the tension she created. “I mean, yeah. I think that’s where we headed.” She would be the first to admit she loved Steve more than she’s ever loved a boyfriend before. She likes to think Steve feels the same. “Why do you ask?”

Bucky shook his head, trying his best to seem casual. “Just curious is all.” He waited a few minutes before leaving, allowing Sam and Y/N to start up their conversation again. As soon as he was out of the room, he asked Friday for Steve’s location.

He had news to report.

He’ll accidentally burn our dinner

“Honey, I’m home!” Y/N called as she walked through the door. She was in a surprisingly good mood after a mediocre day.

“You seem happy.” Steve greeted as he walked into the living room from the kitchen. He pulled her close, kissing her before resting his chin on top of her head.

“I am happy. You’re here, what’s there to be mad about?” She squeezed him tighter, enjoying the feeling of his arms wrapped around her.

“You make me happy too.” He pulled her onto the couch, eagerly kissing her after the day apart. He had returned from a mission just before she left for work, and seeing each other in passing was not enough.

“I missed you.” He mumbled against her mouth.

“I missed you too- is something burning?” She leaned away from him, sniffing the air.

“Shit!” He jumped from the couch, running into the kitchen as you laughed at his antics.

“Steve, language!” She called out in mock shock, laughing harder as he whined about burnt pizza.

And let me be the Scrabble winner

“Steve, sucks at Scrabble? Since when?” Wanda questioned as she ate brunch with Y/N and Nat.

“Um, always?” Y/N replied as if it was obvious.

“I have never seen Steve lose a game of Scrabble.” Nat chimed in, smirking as if she already knew what was going on (and lets face it, she probably did).

“Well, I always beat him.” She shrugged. Wanda smirked, clearly forming a plan.

“Well, you’ll just have to play Scrabble tonight and Nat and I will check if he can play better words or not!” Nat nodded along having seen this plan coming.

“Fine.” Y/N agreed, knowing there was no way of talking them out of this.

-

“Steve! Let’s play Scrabble!” Y/N smiled knowing Steve would give her anything she asked for. He walked into the living room with the box, a grin on his face.

The two of them set up the game and drew letters, immediately jumping into the game. After a few turns, Y/N texted Nat and Wanda to come into the living room to enact their plan. She watched from the corner of her eye as the two women watched Steve rearrange his letters.

When he played CAT for 7 points, Wanda gasped. Steve jumped slightly, turning around to investigate the noise.

“Oh my god.” Y/N’s jaw dropped as she realized Steve’s been letting her win.

“He was all set to play ADEQUATE, for probably a billion points, and he played CAT instead!” Wanda pointed accusingly at Steve while Nat just grinned.

“You’ve been letting me win this whole time?” Y/N threw a pillow at him, upset with the confirmation.

“Not every time! Sometimes I have bad letters.” He rubbed the back of his neck shyly. “You just look so happy when you win.”

A small smile took over Y/N’s frown. How could she be annoyed when he was just trying to make her happy.

“I love you.” She rolled her eyes at his puppy dog look. “But don’t go easy on me this time!”

“I love you too.” Steve smirked knowingly and suddenly Y/N was rethinking everything.

And when my body changes shapes, he’ll say ‘oh my god you look hot today’

“I look fat.” Y/N huffed as she plopped down on the couch, still trying to find a dress to wear out with Steve tonight.

“You’re beautiful.” Steve commented from the kitchen, causing her to shriek.

“You’re not supposed to be home yet!” She placed her hand on her heart, feeling the rapid beating from Steve scaring her.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. But you do look beautiful.” He smirked as he walked closer, easily lifting her from the couch. “You look hot everyday.”

He kissed her passionately to convey just how much he believed what he was saying.

I need a man who’s patient and kind

“Steve, I need a few more minutes!” She called as she ran into their bedroom from the office. The two of them were meant to be leaving for dinner 45 minutes ago, but Y/N’s manager forced her into a last minute meeting with a potential collaborator.

“That’s fine.” He called back, a smile on his face. “Take your time, love.”

“How are you so patient.” Y/N huffed as she quickly changed clothes, annoyed with herself for delaying their plans.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and holding her to him. “It happens. I’ve missed dates for mission before.”

“Yeah, but that’s important.” Y/N replied, leaning into his embrace.

“So is your work.” He chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

“Not so important it couldn’t wait a day.” She closed her eyes, taking a moment to just breath. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Steve questioned, genuinely confused.

“For being so kind and understanding. For never making me feel like my job is less important than yours, even though it totally is. For being you.” She replied, easily listing things she’s thankful for.

“Thank you for being you.” He replied casually, still holding her to him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” She smiled before wiggling from his arms to finish getting ready.

Gets out of the car and holds the door

“I’m finally ready. Let’s go!” Y/N called, fully letting go of her annoyance at her manager for delaying her dinner plans.

“Perfect.” Steve grabbed his keys before turning to look at her. He sucked in a breath, eyes slowing gazing over her body. “You’re perfect.”

She blushed, kissing him on the cheek in response. Steve lead her to the car, opening the door for her, pressing a kiss to her lips before jogging around to the driver’s side.

“Where are we going?” She questioned, eager to finally be able to focus on him.

“Dinner.” He replied, a cheeky grin forming.

“Fine, don’t tell me.” She deadpanned, smiling as he laughed.

They discussed anything and everything they could think of as Steve drove to the restaurant, topics ranging from new songs they both liked to what a T-Rex would have for breakfast if it could cook like a person.

Eventually, the car pulled to a stop outside of a small, family owned Italian place. The lights were on, but there was nobody seated at any of the tables.

“Are you sure they’re open?” Y/N questioned, confused by his smile.

“They’re open… just for us.” He smiled shyly. “I wanted you to have a peaceful dinner, so Tony helped me find a place I could book for us for the night. No Y/N L/N or Captain America fans to interrupt.”

“Steve…” She trailed off, unable to form words. She hadn’t even gotten out of the car yet and she was speechless. He walked back around the car, opening the door and guiding her inside. She let him lead her all the way through the building until they reached the outdoor seating.

A string of tapered lightbulbs was strung across the patio, lighting up a single table in the middle. A few candles littered the area, adding to the romantic atmosphere.

“It’s beautiful.” She smiled, leaning in to kiss him before sitting down. Before she could say anything else, a familiar face greeted her.

“My name is Sam, and I’ll be serving you this evening. Can I get you started with something to drink?” Sam smiled at your shocked expression.

“Sam? What are you doing here?” She laughed, confused and overwhelmed with joy.

“I told you, nobody to interrupt us tonight.” Steve smiled, glaring at Sam for playing around. “Sam, I already told you what to bring out.”

“Couldn’t resist.” Sam winked, quickly returning with the drinks Steve requested. Y/N and Steve thanked him before returning to their conversation.

“You didn’t have to go to this much trouble.” Y/N spoke softly, still blown away by the effort and planning Steve must have put into this.

“I know. But I wanted to. You deserve it.” He smiled, taking her hadn’t across the table. “Now, I’ll bet you’re hungry since we were supposed to eat an hour ago.” As if on cue, Sam returned with Bucky, both carrying plates of food. “Let’s eat.”

The two of them continued their conversation from the car as they ate, topics again roaming all over the place. Before she knew it, Y/N had finished eating and Sam was back with dessert.

She looked down at the peach cobbler, laughing to herself. “You know me so well.” She smiled, grinning even more when he offered to share his chocolate cake. “The best of both worlds.”

When she finished eating and looked back up at Steve he was missing from his spot across the table. Instead of sitting in his chair, he was kneeling on the patio beside the table, a velvet box in his hand.

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. Suddenly everything made sense. The lack of rushing, the completely private restaurant, not even having servers in the building. He wanted this to be a private moment.

“Y/N, the day I met you changed my life. I’ll have to thank Hudson for dragging you into the park that day, because I’ve never met anyone as special as you. Every moment with you is like a gift, and I want to spend the rest of my days experiencing life with you. Will you marry me?”

She nodded for a few seconds before finally finding her voice. “Yes.” It was barely above a whisper, but it was enough for Steve to delicately place the ring on her finger. “I love you so much.” She smiled, throwing herself into his arms the second he stood up.

“I love you too.” He replied, framing her face with his hands before kissing her.

I wanna slow dance in the living room like we’re 18 at senior prom

The ride home from dinner was filled with hand holding, giddy squeals, and hundreds of “I love you’s” from both Steve and Y/N. They eagerly ran back to their apartment, giggling like teenagers, high on love.

Steve quickly pulled her into the living room, kissing her over and over. She reciprocated, eager to share her happiness.

“Steve?” She questioned between kisses, waiting for him to hum in response. “Will you dance with me?” She smiled at him. Surprisingly, the two had never really danced together before. The only opportunity would have been at one of Tony’s parties, but they’re always so busy mingling with everyone.

“I’d love to.” He replied, that same fond smile on his face that she’d grown to love more than anything. She clapped, running over to the record player. She chose the first love song she could find, Cheek to Cheek by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong.

As the music played, the two swayed together, feeling more in love than ever before. Steve quietly sung the words in her ear, expressing all the raw emotion he’d been feeling since she said yes.

“Heaven, I’m in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak.” Y/N joined him, singing along to convey her own happiness as well.

“And I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we’re out together, dancing cheek to cheek.”

They danced around the living room for a few songs, letting the record play through. It wasn’t until the music stopped that they even realized the song changed, too lost in the feeling of being together.

And grow old with someone who makes me feel young

I need a man who loves me like, my father loves my mom

“We’re getting married tomorrow.” Y/N floated through the halls, humming Cheek to Cheek again. After dancing to it the night of their engagement, the couple decided it would be their first dance song. Steve walked up behind her, picking her up and spinning around until they reached the kitchen.

“We are.” He replied, just as elated as her. She giggled playfully, smiling wider than ever before. She was just about to say something when Nat and Wanda bust into the room.

“C’mon. It’s time to go!” Wanda called, gathering Y/N’s belongings.

“Where?” The woman questioned, still wrapping in Steve’s arms.

“You’re getting married tomorrow. It’s bad luck to see each other before the wedding.” Wanda spoke as if it was obvious.

“Nat?” Y/N questioned, hoping someone would understand it was just a superstition. Nat just shrugged, helping Wanda as she pulled you out of the room.

“I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Steve called after her, a smile on his lips as he thought about seeing you again.

-

Standing at the altar, looking into Steve’s eyes, everything she prepared to say dissolved from her mind. She got lost in his blue eyes, listening to him recite his vows. All the love she felt exploded in one quick statement.

“You make me feel young.” She blurted out the words without thinking.

“Is that another old man joke?” He crinkled his eyebrows, confused by the exclamation. The onlookers chuckled.

“No! That’s not what I meant at all.” She laughed, burying her face in his chest. “I just mean, we’re grown adults.” He nodded, still confused. “But when I’m with you, I feel like a kid again. Like all my problems go away and I can just be in love with you. Like my parents were.” Tears formed in her eyes as she thought about the gravity of her statement.

Steve knew how much her parents love influenced her life. She had multiple songs inspired by their relationship and happiness.

“Oh, sweetheart. You make me feel young too. Like how I should have felt as a kid.” He decided against further explanation, not wanting to weigh down the ceremony with talk of war and his sickly youth.

“I just, I never thought I’d actually find a love like theirs, despite how much I wanted to. I think they would’ve loved you.” Steve wiped her tears as they rolled down her cheeks. He pressed his forehead to hers just feeling the need to be close.

“My ma would’ve loved you too.” He replied, his own throat getting tight. They cried as they finally said “I do”, no place they’d rather be.

And if he lives up to my father, maybe he can teach our daughter

Y/N rose from the piano as she sang the last line, exposing her growing belly to the group of Avengers, but more specifically to Steve.

What it takes to love a queen, she should know she’s royalty.

Everyone cheered for her performance, but her eyes were only on Steve’s. His jaw hung open, tears pooling in his eyes. She made her way to him, everyone moving out of her way.

As soon as she reached Steve, he pulled her into a gentle hug, eagerly kissing her.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, holding her close.

“I love you too.” She replied, just as emotional as he was.

“Are you really pregnant?” He leaned back, chuckling at the “duh” look on her face. She wiped his tears as they fell.

“I found out just after you left.” She smiled, leaning into him as he lowered his forehead to hers.

“We’re going to have a daughter.” He sounded breathless, overwhelmed with the news.

“I would’ve told you in private, but Tony insisted on having this party.” She laughed when he rolled his eyes at Tony’s antics.

“You wrote me a song.” He smiled, still holding her close.

“Oh, baby. I’ve written you dozens of songs.” She laughed when he leaned back in confusion. “They’re not all good. I wanted to finish the album before I played it for you. This was the last song.” She smiled, still overwhelmingly in love with the man in front of her.

“I love you. So much.” They spoke at the same time, swaying together as Tony invited all the remaining guests into the ballroom. They missed the song, but it was clear to everyone the room how much the two loved each other.

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[cleololax]

Lotto | A | Chapter One

MafiaBoss! UndergroundCriminal! Yoongi x Strugglingwaitress! Y/N

Word Count - 3,210

Yoongles has his silver hair in this one 👌🏼. Smut will be in future chapters. Enjoy !

The smell of grease and bacon has your brain pounding in your skull. A normally pleasant smell can get old after an 8-hour work shift, 5 days a week. Dave rings the bell once again and you zig-zag between the tables trying to get there, refilling empty coffee mugs and fetching missing condiments on the way. Another day, another measly dollar.

By noon, your feet need a rest and you need a break. The sneakers squeeze your feet so much it feels like they might bring you down a size permanently. Marla comes from the back, chewing that cheap gum that’s bought wholesale. You hand over the paper tab and fill her in before heading into the back room. Lunch is spent eating a stale sandwich with stale lettuce and softening tomatoes that can leave an unpleasant aftertaste. Mentally, there’s a reminder set to see what they have at the food pantry this week.

Hopefully, your brother ate his lunch. It’s not like he likes it anyways and you can't blame him for it. Anxious thoughts are interrupted when Mina opens the door in all of her cheerfulness.

“Y/N, someone is asking for you.” She must see your furrow brows cause she continues.

“Says he needs to see you, it’s been a while. Is he a bad ex? Should I get rid of him?” Her worry makes you inwardly smile and you head to the sink. “No, it’s ok. I’ll be right there.” She leaves with a nod. The smile drops the minute she does. What could he possibly want now? Something uneasy stirs in your stomach. It could be the food just devoured, but there is something more pressing at the moment. The dim hallway is empty and you carefully walk out, counting the black and white tiles. With your head held high, you walk towards the booths.

The blue hair peeks out from the top of the divider. He always sits in the left corner of the room, drinking a lemonade. Always at the same time. Always on time. You walk towards the table and sit down. Taehyung offers a small nod of his head in acknowledgment. Or at least that’s what he says his name is. The first time he had waltzed in, he turned heads. A beautiful man in a crisp Armani suit isn’t exactly discreet. You came out to greet him and asked if you knew each other when he uttered one word. Your father's name. From then on you knew whatever came of this interaction, it wasn’t going to be pleasant. That bastard had ruined your family and still, it's not enough. He continues to cause destruction, long after he’s been gone.

Taehyung's tan skin and blue hair are a striking match. Chocolate eyes study the way you clench your hands together on the table, steadying shaky fingers. Pretending to hold it all together.

“Hello, Y/N.” He asked for your name the first time and you refused to give it. Years of watching sketchy people walk in and out of your apartment teach you to be wary. By the next meeting, he had it on his tongue in greeting. Perhaps a show of how much they really knew and were able to find out what they wanted.

“I have a note for you from Mr. Min. It’s appropriate to now set up a formal meeting. Tonight.” The previous suspicion is proved correct. This elusive Min wants to meet and it has your heart sinking.

“I have my brother to pick up from school.” Demons may thrive and bath in the night, but the rest of us don’t have that luxury to choose.

“Sorry, but you’ll have to make arrangements. We could send one of our men to do it... if you want.” Absolutely fucking not. You may be bad at surviving, but stupid is not in your nature.

“I’ll work it out.” It's the first time you keep eye contact with him since he arrived. While he notices the sudden determination, you notice the prominent mole on his nose. He’s handsome in a catalog type of way. they must have to be, to make the jobs easier. His tan skin glows, even in the gloomy shadow that the grey skies cast into the room.

“There will be a car parked outside your residence to pick you up.” Being in a car with these people doesn’t seem like such a good idea, either. The next words are painful to say.

“It’s ok, I’ll walk.” He quirks a brow and looks sideways at the droplets sliding down the window.

“It’s going to be raining heavy tonight, though.” His deep voice fills you with dread. Especially because there is an underlying tone of sympathy in it. On cue, lightning roars from somewhere above the popcorn ceiling. Hopefully, it’s enough to distract him from the fidgeting.

He gets up to leave but not before looking down at your slumped form, trying to ignore how tired and pitiful you look. Deliver and leave. That’s the job as a messenger. All of the five times he has come here have made him wonder who you are. What put you in the sights of a man like his employer. You are young, but there is so much sadness already. Ironically, he knows how you must feel. Against his better judgment, he fixes his collar and is gone as quickly as he came. Don’t ask, don’t get involved with the debtors. It’s easier that way. All you can do is place your head on the table and zone out for a little. It’s the go-to self-care these days. Just to pretend that you don’t exist in this form in time, that you can blend in with the background and disappear. Not for the first time, you curse your luck, family ties. What have I been roped into?

When the sun sets, your legs are already carrying you down the street before Lina can change her mind. Thankfully, it isn’t pouring down yet. Closing the diner is normally your job and it is a dreaded task. Anything can happen in that timespan and it keeps the adrenaline constantly flowing. A girl alone in a diner with a cash register is a golden opportunity. It’s hard to feel like beyond the windows there aren’t eyes, waiting in dark street corners. After a couple of blocks, the old orange apartment building comes into view. At one time it must have been nicer and that's hard to picture. Mr. Shihan is playing cards with another older man on the sidewalk when you come up to the gate. Their concentration is fully on the game and he doesn’t give his normal greeting. He’s a sweet man with a terrible habit. The courtyard is empty. There are barks and kitchen sinks running, loud televisions that have no consideration. Unfortunately, there are no stairs and after long days, it’s hard not to just want to sit down on the dirty, concrete floor and fall asleep. Before you reach the 5th floor, you wait at the entrance to the hall on the 4th. It’s taken time for you to stop caring what others think of your situation, the disapproving comments, and glances from the teachers at your brother's school and almost anywhere you go. Too young, give him up to the state. Can’t take care of him, look how skinny he is, look how tired. People who look from the outside and have the luxury to judge. You are old enough to take care of him and he belongs with you. You’re the only family you two have left.

It’s only when you need help that it kills you to see Mrs. Litska. She’s an old woman who was able to babysit your brother while you are at work. With one knock, the door opens and you are met with a frown on her crinkled face. You don’t have time to say much, you just give her the envelope of this month’s pay and step inside. Your brother is asleep on the brightly foiled couch in the dim living room that smells of baked bread. The sound of Vivaldi comes through the ancient radio on the side table. His little fingers hold tightly onto the Spider-Man plushie picked out at the thrift store a while ago. It’s seen better days, but they are insuperable. Placing the stuffed item to the side, one arm loops around his shoulders to him up to place his head on your shoulder. The kid could sleep through anything.

The both of you head upstairs into your own living quarters. The lights don’t turn on when the flip is switched and you sigh as you try your best to remain close to the wall.it proves to be hard with your body ready to give out, but you ultimately make it to the room and place your brother into the squeaky bed. The candles are pulled from the drawer and each one settles into every corner of the space nicely.

Finally, you take off your partially wet clothes and put them into a pile by the tub. At least the water is warm as your body slowly leans down into it. Suddenly, the room is quiet and it’s hard to let yourself float away. It’s eerie and not comforting at all. It never is. There is no next destination besides a dreaded one, no way to work yourself towards, hanging on through the blissfully hard distractions that take up your life. They allow you to not stop, to not think about where you could be. Staying busy saves you from reaching into yourself too much.

Minutes tick by, a full half-hour before your skin is soggy and the water is cold. Still, it's better to be here than think that in another hour you could be trafficked and the little boy in the other room sleeping peacefully would have no one left. Mother dead, father gone, sister missing. It brings a chill to the room and it’s suffocating. Once you’re dressed casually, you check in on your brother who is still tucked in, his breathing mellowed out. Here’s to hoping he stays asleep and doesn’t wander through the place at three in the morning to an empty apartment. You kiss his forehead and bring his plushies within reach. They crowd the space around him, cocooning him in.

With one last safety check and blowing out the candles, you lock the door from the outside and move along the hallway down to the stairs.

Your neighborhood is wet and dark at this hour. Thankfully, you are prepared with a switchblade and pepper spray bought last week. It’s three blocks to the main streets where more people walk with umbrellas. Men in suits getting home and families hurrying to their cars. The shop lights flash, shop windows showcasing fried chicken and ice cream. Your stomach automatically grumbles.

Your umbrella holds up for the most part until the lights start to separate and the streets once again turn dim and dirty. The sudden gusts of wind fold it in and it snaps. Soda cans and bags of junk food litter the edges of cement. Shops on this side are all closed, bars and steel curtains drawn. Every little sound has the back of your neck standing up. A tabby cat pops up from under a beat-up truck and it has your heart momentarily stop. Hopefully, it’s around the corner. Your hands shakily open the worn piece of paper to try and locate the street. Luckily, it’s one street down. Once you turn the corner, you head right into a narrow alley. The pepper spray is held onto tightly with clammy hands.

The situation is starting to look sketchier as you go on. Once you reach the dead end, something to the left catches your peripheral vision. Off to the side is another narrow path, much shorter than the one you just went through. It leads directly to a steel door with a neon sign right above. The letters that read Welcome bathe the entrance in blue and red. When you come closer, you notice a little plant to the side. As if it can hide the strangeness of it all when all it does is highlight. Still, the harshness of the surroundings doesn't reach this corner. For a while, you stand there as the rain continues to patter. The sign buzzes and flickers. Your clothes get more soaked but you refuse to move forward. I’m a bad bitch, I’m a bad bitch. I got this. There is vibration coming from the floor beneath your feet. The door opens and a big muscular man gestures for you to come in. This is how it starts. A cliche buff bouncer opening the rope to the gates of hell. He stares and steps aside, gesturing again. Maybe you could have made a run for it before he appeared. Not now. It would be useless. They will come looking. These people always collect. You’ve seen it before. Ultimately, the decision has been made by someone else. There's more to lose if you don't and with a tug of your bag, you trudge forward.

What you had been imagining this past week was apparently absurd compared to the vision that lay in front of you now. There was no blood, no people begging for you to help them escape. No blindfold, just plenty of men and women holding down handles at the slot machines that showed them all the wrong symbols. You walked through the desperation into another area of green felt tables and cards being dealt. The air is stuffy and it smells of smoke and alcohol. Apparently, no one else is bothered. Ahead of you, a tall man is pressing on something in his ear with a meaty hand. Darting your eyes around, you take in more. Before confusion settles in on where to go you find the answer. From the second floor, Taehyung holds onto the railing, looking around. Your eyes meet and it’s strangely intimate. Too intimate. It must not be hard to be found when your clothes are wetting the floor beneath you.

He walks towards you with a small smile. His cobalt blue suit stands out and there’s a dangly earring hanging from one ear. His appearance is much flashier than it was the last time you saw him. With one look behind you, he leads you both up the stairs. On the way, you internally chide yourself for wearing what you are now. The wet clothes make you feel like a little sewer rat. You feel like ratatouille and the confidence that brought you here is dwindling. Instead of a shoddy warehouse that was expected, you are venturing deeper into a maze of halls with red carpeting and gold-rimmed mirrors. Eyes remain forward, but your mind tries to remember every sharp turn, every step that takes you further away from an exit. It is not hard to conjure up terrible, gruesome images and they flash a mile a second. There is only silence and you do not expect anything else. Finally, Taehyung comes to a halt and you almost bump into his back. The door is red and for some reason, it hits you know what big of a mistake you have made. You feel like you’ve been personally delivered to hell’s gates. No one knows where you went tonight. They could get rid of your body and no one would look. It would be easy. Just a poor, young person who could have been tossed or thrown into the river. Another cold case, another victim. He knocks on the door in a pattern of sound and pauses. Must be a code of some sort. Loud noises and laughter get closer until the door opens abruptly and an older gentleman with peppered gray hair greets the man next to you.

“Tae, my boy. Yoongi was about to cheat again.” Tae? Yoongi? This stranger’s excitement has you even more on edge. Your palms are now sore from clenching and cutting at them with overgrown nails. Taehyung moves forward and he smiles as an arm is put around his shoulder. There’s conversation but you don’t hear any of it. Somehow you get yourself inside the room and the door shuts right after. There’s even more smoke and laughter and a champagne bottle being popped somewhere. It all whizzes by. On the outside, your face must seem neutral but the inside is ringing with alarms and warnings. It feels like there’s a hole in the pit of your stomach. Somewhere along the way, the older gentleman named Lee went off to talk to some people on a chase couch against the wall.

There is a long gambling table at the end of this well-sized room and it seems to be the destination. When you get closer, there are about eight people around it. Mostly men with frowns. It must be the small number of chips in front of them. That doesn’t matter a second later though. Not when you catch the sight of the man sitting at the head of it. There’s a force that seems to be pulling everything in space to him, everybody. Bluish Silver hair catches the lighting of the small chandelier above as he gets up with a flute in between pale hands. His fingers grab a couple of chips from his pile which is no doubt the biggest of them all. They twirl in his ring-clad fingers. The veins line them and it’s hard to not stare. The robe that hangs off his lean figure looks decadent and expensive, so much so that it would stop the question of why he is wearing it entirely. There’s so much to take in. His face is gorgeous. His gummy smile numbs the feeling of panic that set in before. He gets closer, or perhaps you do. The two of you walk up to him. Realization dawns in then. Fuck My life.

“Mr.Min, this is miss Y/N.”

[kinglazrus]

Not Your Danny – Ch 2. Small Signs

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Word count: 3514

Awareness returns to Dani the same way it always does: instantly and with a deep, rattling breath. It echoes the dry rasp of her very first. Even after all this time, she still remembers what it was like to wake up in that vat. The thick ectoplasm that flooded her nose and mouth when she tried to breathe. The panic and confusion as her mind scrambled to understand what was happening. The overwhelming weight of knowledge that wasn't hers, that she didn't remember learning. Even thinking was a struggle in those first hours.

Sometimes waking up from sleep feels like that, minus the drowning. And being asleep is just like before. Before the electric current ran through her body and shocked her awake. Before she could think, or even knew what thinking was. Back when everything was just darkness and a mild awareness that she existed, but no certainty whether she was dead or alive.

Dani never dreams—she doesn’t think she's capable of it—but she's always aware.

Another light tap comes at the door.

On instinct, she scans her surroundings for danger. She takes in the blue walls, the plastic star constellations on the ceiling, and the general mess of the room before relaxing and remembering. This isn't some old house she's squatting in for the night; it's her new home.

She frowns. Her new home. Home. Home. The word doesn't sit right with her. It's what she's always wanted, but this place... could it really be home without Danny?

"Danielle?" a soft voice calls through the door.

Dani jerks upright, throwing off the blanket, and transforms in a flash. "I'm awake."

The doorknob rattles then turns, and the door slowly opens. Maddie Fenton peers inside. Her eyes land on Dani and she takes a sharp breath. "Oh, you're..." She trails off as she looks Dani over.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I just wasn't expecting your ghost form."

Dani draws her knees to her chest, making herself small. "It's kind of my default."

"That's fine." Maddie steps forward. When she moves, something makes a crinkling noise, and Dani's gaze is drawn to a plastic bag hiding behind Maddie's legs. All wariness forgotten, Dani uncurls and crawls to the edge of the bed, clinging to the mattress while she leans forward.

"What's that?" she asks.

Maddie smiles and glances down at the bag. "We know you don't have much. Or"—she scans the room—"anything. So we picked up a few things on the way home. You'll probably need more, but we can take you shopping so you can pick things out for yourself. These are just some essentials."

She holds out the bag, and Dani eagerly snatches it up. Maddie wasn't lying when she said just the essentials. Inside, she finds a pair of pyjamas, a toothbrush—a toothbrush! She's never used one before—a hairbrush and some other toiletries, and lastly, a box with some kind of pad thing on the front. Dani takes out the box and turns it over in her hands.

"What are these?" she asks. They look vaguely familiar. Perhaps, once or twice, she glimpsed them sitting on drugstore shelves, but they had never caught her attention before.

"They're period pads," Maddie says.

"What are they for?"

Maddie opens her mouth, but nothing comes out. Her eyebrows crease together in confusion. Instead of answering, she walks forward to the end of the bed and kneels down. She reaches out, but stops before she can touch Dani and draws her hand back.

"How old are you?" she asks. "Jazz said you were at least fifteen."

"Technically, yeah. I think I was twelve biologically when Vlad made me? So I guess that makes me fifteen. But I've only existed for three years. My birthday is next month!" Dani grins. She didn't do much for her first birthday, but last year she visited Amity Park and Danny made a whole day of it! He even bought her a present, although Dani lost the music player pretty quickly. Not that she hadn't loved it, but it was hard to keep track of belongings when you weren't used to having them. She couldn't wait to see what they would do this year.

A second passes before Dani realizes what's wrong with that statement. Her grin falls away.

It doesn't look like Maddie noticed, though. She's too busy frowning at the box of pads that are still in Dani's hands.

"Have you never...?" Maddie gestures to the box, but Dani doesn’t know what she means. With a sigh, Maddie reaches out and takes the pads, setting them down on the floor. "I guess it doesn't matter what they're for right now, then. We can talk about that later. For now, how are you?"

Dani shrugs. "Okay, I guess." She was better a few seconds ago when she forgot Danny was dead for a blissful moment.

"We understand that this is all very new for you. And it's hard for all of us right now. Take your time. If you need anything, let us know. Other than that, you can just focus on getting settled. We'll take care of the rest," Maddie says.

Dani doesn't know what else there could be to take care of, but she nods anyway.

"Are you hungry? It's a little after noon right now and I was going to start making lunch. I could use some company."

"I could eat," Dani admits. Before arriving this morning, she didn't think to grab breakfast anywhere, and it has been well over a day since her last meal. Her stomach cramps, far from the worst hunger pangs, but still annoying.

Maddie smiles and stands up. "Perfect." She waves her hand, gesturing for Dani to follow. When Dani rises off the bed, her eyes widen. It only lasts a moment, a second of stunned silence, but it's enough for Dani to drop to the floor, her boots thumping on the thick carpet, feeling rather self-conscious.

Neither of them mentions it as they head downstairs. On the way down, Dani strains her ears, listening for Jazz or Jack elsewhere in the house. Jack, she hears quite easily, unsurprisingly. Loud, tromping footsteps carry up from the lab, their beat steady and constant. He must be pacing, Dani thinks. It reminds her of Danny. He used to pace when simply thinking didn't suffice; he needed to move through some problems, treat them like physical things he could see and touch. That's how he explained it to her once, not that long ago.

Jazz, if she's still home, doesn't make a sound.

Dani takes up residence at the kitchen table, pulling out a chair and sitting with her legs crossed over the seat. Meanwhile, Maddie starts taking ingredients out of the fridge. Nothing fancy. Lettuce, tomatoes, a few packages of sliced meat. A small pile of vegetables grows in the empty space beside the sink.

"If you don't mind, can you tell me what it's like?" Maddie asks as she pulls a cutting board from a drawer.

"What what's like?"

"Being a halfa."

Maddie, with her back to Dani, misses the way she presses her lips together at that word. Halfa. It's not a bad word, per se. Danny never had any issue with it, as far as Dani could tell, but it never sat right with her.

"I'm not a halfa," she says.

Maddie's hand pauses halfway to the knife block. She looks over her shoulder, finally noticing Dani's grim expression. "Am I saying it wrong? That's the term Jazz used."

"It's Danny's word." Maddie flinches, but Dani presses on. "And Vlad's too, I guess. Being a halfa means being half human and half ghost, but I'm just me."

"But you have both forms?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't all human before I became part ghost. And I didn't have to die for that to happen."

Maddie quickly turns back to the counter. Dani can't see her face, but it is impossible to miss how her shoulders tense. She grabs a knife from the block and a tomato from the counter and makes her first cut. The knife thunks against the cutting board. "What's it like being you, then?" There's a tremble in her voice. "With your powers."

Dani shrugs. "I'm okay with them. I'm a pretty fast flyer since that's how I always get around. Faster than Danny was."

Another chop, another loud thunk.

"But I'm really good at the weird body stuff! I got the hang of it really fast!" Dani can't help but smile. She holds her arm out, watching it slowly turn green and goopy. The sleeve of her shirt melts into skin and fat drops or ectoplasm slip off onto the table. The goop clings to her bones, only held together by her force of will. If she wanted, she could let it disintegrate into a bubbling puddle. Even the bone can turn soft and malleable as a licorice twist, although she doesn't let it get that far.

Thinking about why she can do this always brings up bad memories, but Dani pushes those aside in favour of how cool it is that she can melt into slime at a moment's notice.

"Look! Look at this!" Dani jiggles her arm, giggling as bits of ectoplasm go flying.

Maddie isn't looking, though. When Dani glances up to check, she finds Maddie staring down at the counter. "Was it like that for Danny?" Maddie asks.

Dani's smile falters. "Maybe? I got lots of training before I met him, but he was still better than me with most stuff. He couldn't do this, though!" She gives her arm another shake, then slaps it down on the table with a loud splat for good measure.

Maddie still doesn't look, though. She resumes her chopping, grabbing a pepper while pushing the tomato aside. "Tell me more."

—

Lunch is brief. Maddie brings a small stack of sandwiches and a plate of salad down to the lab for Jack, along with a small container of fudge. She comes back upstairs long enough to grab her own food before joining him.

"We're making some of our weapons safer for you to be around," Maddie explains before disappearing downstairs.

Dani isn't too disappointed to be left alone. While talking with Maddie was nice, it was always about her powers, always came back to Danny. Did Danny like flying? Did he struggle with his powers? You have this ability, did Danny have it, too? Genuine curiosity lingered in Maddie's voice with every question. Dani knows she's a scientist, and with that job comes a need for knowledge, a desire to understand everything. Having Dani in the house provides a unique chance to learn everything she can about ghosts and half-ghosts.

But something else lurked behind the curiosity. Dani, in her inexperience, can't properly name what she had felt, but it irks her. Makes her feel off-centre. When Maddie leaves, and Dani has a minute to herself, she breathes out a sigh of relief.

Her food disappears quickly. The sandwich is good; simple, but good. Same with the salad. Dani never starved on the road, but she ate what she could steal, pre-packaged foods snagged off gas station shelves. Once or twice, she snuck into restaurants to steal plates right from the kitchen, but that required stealth and patience if she didn't want to get noticed.

Once she has finished eating, and her plate is licked clean, she doesn't know what to do. Maddie left the fixings on the counter along with her dirty utensils. After a moment's debate, Dani deposits her plate and fork in the sink. She's washing her hands, squishing soap between her fingers, when Jazz enters.

Like Maddie, Jazz pauses when she takes in Dani's ghost form, but she doesn't comment on it. "How was your nap?"

Dani shrugs. Dipping her hands under the faucet, she watches the soap wash away, bubbles forming at the bottom of the sink. "It was good."

"Good." Jazz gathers her lunch in silence, grabbing the sandwich Maddie left out for her and loading a plate with salad. Once her plate is full, she starts putting everything away. Cutting board and knife in the sink, vegetables back in the fridge, bread wrapped and retied.

Dani watches, noticing little aborted movements Jazz keeps making. When she goes to put the bread away, her arm jerks as if she was about to throw it. She catches herself at the last second and walks it to the pantry. After the food is away, she grabs a tea towel rather than a dishcloth, and reaches toward the left sink, only to stop.

Dani peers between the empty left sink, and the right sink with the dirty dishes. "Something wrong?"

"No, it's... it's nothing." Jazz folds the tea towel and lays it on the counter, then grabs the dishcloth instead.

"Want some help?" Dani asks.

Jazz blinks. A strange look crosses her face, a soft smile tinged with hope that, to Dani, doesn't fit the situation at all. Jazz holds out the dishcloth and says, "First one done picks the show."

Dani grabs the tea towel since it's closer. "That doesn't really make sense. I can't finish drying until you're done washing," she points out.

Jazz stares at the tea towel, her own hand curling tighter around the dishcloth. "No, I guess it doesn't."

Dani abandons her cloth with the first dish Jazz passes over, phasing the cutting board dry rather than doing it by hand. She doesn't bother opening the drawer, either, shoving the cutting board right through the door instead. It takes less than a minute to get all the dishes clean and put away.

Jazz picks up her plate once the kitchen is clean and heads out. With nothing better to do, Dani follows her. They end up in the living room, Jazz claiming the left side of the couch while Dani takes the right. The remote lays between them for a second before Jazz grabs it. As she reaches for it, slowly, she keeps looking at Dani, as if she's checking for something, expectingher to do something.

Instead, Dani looks around the room.

Of all the rooms in Fenton Works, this is the one she has been in the least. With three windows looking out into the street and the front door right there, she and Danny always thought it was too risky to hang out here, in case Maddie and Jack came home when they weren't expecting it. A few family photos hang on the wall, and the cushions are well worn. Dani notes a significant dip on the loveseat. That must be Jack's favourite spot.

A burst of music pulls Dani's attention to the television. Jazz has put on a TV show. It starts mid-episode, but Dani actually recognizes it, to her surprise. She's only watched TV a handful of times in her life, although she has snuck into plenty of movie theatres. Although she can't remember the show's name, she knows it's about space explorers. The actors look different for some reason, but those colour-coded shirts are undeniably familiar.

"Has a redshirt died yet?" she asks.

Jazz hits pause. "You know Star Trek?"

"Danny showed me some of it. It's okay, I guess." When she says this, Jazz's eyes widen. A flicker of hurt passes through them, although Dani has no idea why. She ignores it. "This doesn't look like what I saw," Dani adds.

"He probably showed you the original series. He liked to start with that," Jazz says, quieter than before.

"So, what's this, then?"

"One of the series from the 90s. Deep Space Nine, I think? It's... it's the most recent one he was watching." Jazz's hand drifts over the remote, her fingers skimming the play button. "Do you mind if we watch it?"

Dani shrugs. "I don't care."

Starting partway through the episode, Dani doesn't quite know what's going on, and she doesn't care much to find out. It's entertaining enough to watch, but sci-fi isn't her thing. Hard to get into a genre that her whole existence revolves around.

Jazz is still eating by the time the episode ends. She's done by the end of the next, her crumb-ridden plate sitting on the coffee table, but neither of them makes a move to stop the show.

Every once in a while, Jazz glances Dani's way. She thinks nothing of it, at first, but by the fifth episode a frown has etched itself into Jazz's face, and Dani is getting annoyed as they near the two-hour mark.

The next time Jazz discreetly turns her head, Dani snaps. "Yeah?" The couch bounces as she swivels to face Jazz.

Jazz starts, then flushes, embarrassed at being caught. "I was just wondering, aren't you tired? I know you were sleeping earlier, but you've been in your ghost form all days. It's not exhausting?"

Dani shrugs. "No? I'm almost always like this."

"But Danny always got really tired if he stayed in his ghost form too long. Sometimes he would pass out or just lose the transformation completely."

"I'm not Danny, though."

Jazz stills. "Right. No, yeah. I guess you aren't."

"I'm not," Dani affirms.

Jazz nods sharply, jerking her head, and snaps her attention back to the TV.

—

The Fentons clearly have their own daily rhythm, one that sees surprisingly little impact without Danny's presence. Maybe they have already filled in the gaps in the couple of weeks Danny has been dead, but Dani doubts it. More than likely, he spent so much time as Phantom that it affected his daily routine.

Maddie and Jack spend most of their time in the lab, or out roving the city in their RV. There hasn't been another ghost attack since the one that killed Danny, and it probably isn't a coincidence, but the eldest Fentons don't seem to take that into account.

"They're trying to keep things normal," Jazz says when Dani asks her about it on the third day. "It's a normal coping mechanism. A good routine can prevent depressive episodes, as long as they aren't overworking themselves."

Ironic considering how Jazz is always working. Despite being on break from college, Dani catches her every day studying hard, chipping away at some paper, or breezing through a textbook thicker than her fist. She also has a notebook she keeps with her most of the time, labelled "Memorial Plans." An event Dani still knows very little about.

Dani falls into her own routine in those first few days. At mealtimes, she keeps whoever is cooking company. Maddie, if she's home. Jazz any other time. Dani takes to waiting in the kitchen for them, around noon and later at six o'clock. The first couple times they walked in to find her there, they looked startled, then pleased. Jazz's eyes actually watered, once. It doesn't take long before Dani fills in as a helper. It's more entertaining than watching, and after so long on the road, there's something nice about learning to cook. A reminder that she has time for it, that she will be here tomorrow and can do it again.

She and Jazz keep watching TV together, although the time varies. Whenever Jazz wants to sit down for an episode—and it's never more than that, despite how long they watched the first day—she finds Dani and asks if she wants any "Trek time." Dani gets the remote only once, on their second time watching. Instead of Star Trek, she picks a sitcom that looks funny and normal.

Jazz keeps the remote after that.

The only person Dani doesn't spend time with is Jack. She sees him once or twice, lumbering through the hall between the kitchen and the lab. As far as she can tell, he sleeps down there. He must since she has yet to find him on the second floor where the bedrooms are.

When she's alone, Dani occupies herself with Danny's things. He has a lot of stuff, and she has no idea what to do with all of it, much less what he did with all of it. Posters especially elude her. What's the point of something that doesn't actually do anything? She goes through his closet the most, picking at his clothes. There are a few shirts close to her size, since Danny didn't get his growth spurt until last year, but none of them suit Dani's style.

On her fourth day at Fenton Works, more than half a week since she arrived, Dani has all the shirts that fit her laid out on Danny's bed. None of them fit perfectly, but she wants to wear something new. You get sick of the same hoodie and shorts after three years, even if they grow with you.

A heavy, thumping knock comes at the door.

Dani, distracted by the shirts, says, "I don't really feel like it right now, Jazz."

"Dani." A voice much deeper than Jazz's greets her. When she looks up, she finds Jack in the open doorway, ecto-gun in hand. "Can we talk?"

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[olivarryprompts]

Fanfic Friday #10

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I will post a new fanfic here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here 

{peter stark and a no good very bad day}

Ship: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Steve Rogers & Peter Stark

Warnings: swearing, fluff otherwise :)

Wc: 3,984

Today, everything had gone wrong. He stayed up way past his bedtime the previous night and had gotten barely three hours of sleep by the time he arrived at school. He forgot his Spanish homework in the lab and that was the one grade he needed to pull from an A- to an A. He chugged a couple shots of espresso, and his usual store on the walk to school was closed. Meaning he had no redbull to sustain him through his classes.

Also, guess which class was straight bangout first, Spanish. So he hadn't done the homework and had no time to do it. Great. Fortunately, he made it through first period Spanish, only getting slightly scolded for not handing in the assignment. Then he had a break, and the kid desperately needed a pick me up coffee and muffin. He went to the closest cafe, one he’d come to love, only to find the whole football team there. Which would have been fine, if he wasn’t so goddamn awkward. He stood there for a solid five minutes before he asked the jock in his way to move so he could order.

Then, when the kid did get to ordering they ran out of fuckin chocolate muffins. What kinda cafe runs out of chocolate muffins at ten am? This one apparently. So coffee and blueberry muffin in hand, he headed back to the student lounge to get some work done.

The next portion of his day went as planned, a welcomed change of pace. Well Flash was a bitch, but what was new there. And his senses were through the roof. But other than that. That was all until the last period. To start, he got a text from his boyfriend, explaining that he’d no longer be arriving this Friday, but instead the following Saturday. Peter wanted to cry. He missed his boy. Leaving Harley on read, he tried to focus on chemistry, but he’d done the stuff they were going over about 100 times with Dr. Banner. He zoned out the entire class.

Finally, the bell rang and put him out of his misery. He quickly texted Ned asking if he was coming in the following day. He had been sick that day. He went to leave, but the class was stopped by the announcement of a test and more homework. For fuck sake.

He did get out, though. And he got straight in the car, barely pausing to say hello to Happy. Noticing the boy's unusual quiet, he didn’t press for more details about Peter’s day. Happy, though he’d never say it, enjoyed hearing about the kids day. He had come to really care for Peter, and his accomplishments made the older man happy. Ironic, he knew.

They had arrived at the tower in almost record time, and Peter was glad to have avoided extra time in the car. What he really craved was a couple hugs from his dads, a chat with his boyfriend, and to get through the stack of busy work that weighed him down.

Happy went round to the private entrance, wished the kid a good day, and headed off to some other errand. Peter exited, scanning his pass at security and being recognized and let through by Friday. So, he’d finally made it upstairs and there the sofa was, filled with a few avengers. Luckily his parents were among them. The two were sitting close to each other, as normal.

Peter simply put his head in his pops lap, and he laid his feet on his dad. Neither Steve nor Tony said anything, but they gave each other the look. Steve ran his hands through his son’s hair lovingly. “Pete?” Tony asked, “What happened kid?” “Nothin’” Peter replied, still buried in his Pop’s lap. “You sure about that?” Steve pressed. “Just a bad day,” Peter mumbled. “What happened паук?” Nat spoke up. She is very protective of Peter. “What didn’t happen?” he sighed dramatically. “Well you mope for as long as you like, Pete,” Tony joked. “Thanks dad,” he said, closing his eyes again in search of sleep. “Teenagers I tell you,” Clint said, rolling his eyes. “Fuck you Barton,” Peter mumbled before falling asleep properly. “He really is your child, Tones,” Clint laughed. “Hey Peter just said a bad language word,” Nat remarked. “God I hate all of you,” his Pops groaned. Then Peter fell into peaceful, safe sleep.

“Pete?” his Pops said, entering his room. He moved around, noticing he’d been moved from the sofa to his own room. He groaned. “Hello to you too.” “Yes, Hi, father, Captain America, Leader of the Avengers, Man of Strengt-” “Ok relax,” Cap rolled his eyes. Peter sat up, smirking. “Wanna tell me what actually happened today?” “J-just everything that could possibly go wrong went wrong.” “Did that start with you staying in the lab way past a normal sleeping time?” “Perhaps. How did you kn-” “You are aware that your dad designed that whole lab situation, right?” “Fair enough.” “Do we have to initiate Insomnia protocol again?” “God no, it was one night.” “Promise.” “Swear. Just an awful day. Spidey senses all acting up, being annoying, no chocolate muffins. Speaking of which, can I have the day off tomorrow? I have basically no classes.” (he wasn’t sure why, but all but one of his classes were cancelled.) Steve thought for a moment. He knew the kid had been through a lot always, and a day off never hurt anyone. Also, he was far too smart to be there anyway. “Yeah. Let me just double check with Dad, okay?” “Thanks.” “We’re eating dinner now so get cleaned up?” “Yep. Coming.”

The next day

Peter awoke at 10 with a smile on his face. He’d peacefully regained energy. He’d finished his school work the previous night, and he was happy to just relax for a day. He pulled on some SI sweatpants and a hoodie he’d stolen from Harley awhile back.

“Hey parentals,” he greeted, still holding his smile. “Morning,” his Pops said as he cooked breakfast. “Morning? Is it already?” I bet you can guess who that came from. “Tones,” Steve said, voice full of its normal concern. Peter just laughed, taking a stool at the bar. “What? I’m fine. I’m having fun.” “You promised you’d at least take a nap.” “Oops,” he smiled, heading back in the direction of the lab. “You’re a great role model to our son!” “You really are dad!” Peter added. “Love you both dearly.” Steve rolled his eyes and Peter chuckled. “Where’s the rest of the team?” Peter inquired. He’d come to realize that saying team was easier than naming all the residents of the tower. “Nat, Clint, Wanda, and Pietro are training. Thor and Loki went back to Asgard last night, and Bruce is in his lab.” “Oh, Loki didn’t tell me he was going back.” “Some emergency. Sorry kid.” “Yeah, i-it’s fine.” “He told me to assure you they’d be back soon.” “Good.” “Keaner getting here soon?” “Nah coming tomorrow now. Something about something, I don’t really know.” “Ok. Made grilled cheeses and tomato soups. It's almost done,” Steve offered. “Thanks,” Peter said. “What’s with Loki leaving that's got you so down?” “I just miss him a lot.” Steve knew that his Kid and loki had come to get on surprisingly well. They were as close as he and Nat. Not even Clint had managed to get that close.

Peter practically inhaled a couple of sandwiches. “I’m going to go work with Dad.” “Have fun!” “I will.” “Love you.” “Love you, too.” He sped down to the lab, where he could hear his Dad’s ACDC blasting as usual. “Heyo, what you working on?” “The suit nanotech. Wanna give your old man a hand?” “Always. Bring up the blueprints. What adjustments have you made so far? “Just the molecule distance and expansion weight. Trying to help stabilize the structure.” “What about the build construction stacking?” So they dove into work, Peter easily keeping up with the genius.

“Nicely done, getting too smart for me. What are you even doing in high school?” “Being bored and failing my humanities classes.” “You're not actually failing your classes are you? Grades are not everything bu-” “Relax father, I’m doing well in all my classes.” “I should probably know that. In fact I’ll actually show up to your next parent teacher conference.” “Please don’t,” Peter smiled. His father was generally very embarrassing. “Friday, make sure I’m at the kid’s next conference?” “Reminder set.” “Thanks, Fri.” “Anytime boss.” “God Fri please remind me to not show up for my next conference.” “Heyyyy,” Tony said, faking offence. “Dad, you can be very overbearing.” “I know, but-” “No.” “Fine, guess I’m not coming. Trying to be a good father and parenthood isn’t for me.” “I beg to differ,” Steve said, coming in to check on us, “realise you're no match for Peter’s intelligence yet?” “No fucking way. I’m a genius. Many PHDs. Kid hasn’t even finished high school, plus he has an A- in Spanish,” Tony laughed. “How did you-,” Peter rolled his eyes. “Friday just sent them to me.” “You’re awful.” “Hey watch it, MIT is still your dream school?” “I fucking hate you so much,” Peter really did loved this kind of banter with his father. “Maybe I do agree that parenthood isn’t for you, love.” “Capsical, you are a traitor. You’re supposed to always be on my side.” Steve kissed Tony’s cheek and ruffled Peter’s hair before saying, “Pepper needs you. Something about important business.” “Really important?” “She says if you don’t come she’ll lock you out of the company.” “That important then. Fri, tell Pepper that I’m coming.” “She has been notified, sir.” “Thank you. Bye then, Peter don’t fuck anything up.” “The same to you Mr. Stark.” Tony left the lab with a chuckle. “You two will be the death of me.” “Almost certainly.” “You staying in here?” “Nah, I have some projects in my lab waiting for me.” “You know your dad was joking about the grades right? Because grades really don’t mean anything, and they don’t define you. Nor does your intelligence. You are so much more than all that. And all these suits and mechanicy genius things-” “Pops. I’m fine. I know,” he smiled at his dad. “I just read in this parenting book that something smart or gifted kids can feel like th-” “Pops, you and dad are the best parents a kid could ask for. Stop worrying too much or you’ll turn grey like dad.” Captain America just smiled at his kid because he was the best. “Right. Good. Have fun.” “Will do.”

He messed with the design for the 100th millionth time but he couldn't get the vibrainim to synthesize with the web fluid. “Fri, get me another cup of coffee, please.” “For fuck sake, why isn’t this working,” he said to himself. He began to mess with the 3d hologram again. He typed in Mock 32 for the design and started trying again. “Pepper Potts is requesting access to the lab.” “Access granted,” he said to Fri. “Hey Pete, how’s it going?” “Badly, but it's fine. IS THAT COFFEE?” “White mocha latte, triple shot espresso,” She said, placing it down on the desk. “Ok..back up. What do you need?” “What, I can’t just bring my favorite stark a coffee?” “Aren’t you busy?” he asked skeptically. “Yes. Incredibly. So it is a peace offering. I allowed a tour access to this lab to look around, and see what a higher ups lab looks like in action. Fri will hide all of the classified things, and I thought you’d be at school. Tony just told me you weren’t so, here we are.” “He actually showed up to your meeting?” “Yes, and it wasn’t my meeting. He just needed to be there, and I didn't.” “I take your peace offering. It’s fine, I don’t care. So long as they don’t touch my shit.” “Good. Greet them, let them look around. Smile your cute smile. They’ll be up in five.” “FIVE MINUTES?” “Yep. Sorry, Hun, got to run. Thanks.” “You owe me one!”

As promised, the class showed up in five minutes. He was fine with the concept of a class showing up, he was not, however, good with his class showing up. “Is that Penis Parker?” He heard Flash. “Holy hell that is Park?” “IS THAT PETER?” “Did Peter break in?” “How is Peter here?” He couldn’t exactly kick them out. So, embracing his inner Tony Stark charm and Steve Rogers kindness, he opened the lab door, stepping into the corridor.

“EVERYONE PLEASE BACK UP AND BE QUIET!” The tour guild, Aliah, yelled. They were a kind person who Peter knew a bit. The classes quieted down.

“Hello, Aliah.” “Hi Peter,” they greeted, “Sorry, I hadn’t realized you’d be in today. I’ll just take them to our next stop.” “No, no it's fine. If it’s alright, I’ll give them a little tour sorta thing. I don’t mind, plus I kinda promised Pepper.” “That’d be really cool. Thanks.” “Yeah. Call ‘em over.” “Yeah. We’re just waiting on their teacher, he’s in the restroom.” “Course.”

Mr. Harrington showed up, questioning Aliah about the next stop. Then, he saw Peter. “Mr. Parker!” he exclaimed angrily, “How dare you show up here without a permission slip and claiming to be sick. What is this? We will be speaking with the principal and your parents about this! I am so sorry Aliah. Peter shot Aliah the “I got this” look. “Hi Mr. Harrington, I was unwell this morning, but I felt better so I came into work. Yes, I do have an internship here,” he said, loud enough for the class to hear. “The next stop on your tour,” they said, “is to Peter’s lab. He’s been so kind to give us a run-down.” Peter simply point at the door which read “Lab #55: Peter Parker.” “Right, uh, um, sorry Mr. Parker, please let us continue.” Peter smiled through his nerves. “Right, hello there class! I will be giving you a tour of my lab. I do some pretty important work, so I’m going to ask Friday to activate the ‘Guest Protocol’ to hide the classified stuff. It’s also very dangerous, so please do not touch anything.” There were nods from the class. “Right, Fri complete guest protocol and allow tour of Aliah to enter.” “Yes miniboss.” He re-entered his lab. “So, most of the time I work here,” he said, pointing to the biggest holograph table, “I work on designs, changes, and any mockups that need to happen. I then make them a reality. I can also run simulations on any formulas to see if they would be successful.” “Fri, please pull up the WFV project I was just working on for Spiderman.” “Right away mini-boss.” “So as you can see I’m trying to get the vibranium intertwine itself with Spiderman’s web fluid. This would allow the webs to be almost 47 times stronger, and also would allow them to conduct electricity, which has many uses. Anyone have any questions?” Ava raised her hand and Peter nodded at her, “Hey, so how did you learn all this? Like, it seems really complicated and you're in my chem class, so.” “I’ve worked a lot with both Mr. Stark and Bruce Banner, who’ve taught me most of what I know throughout the years. I also took a few online courses to solidify some subject matters I didn’t quite understand,” Peter, satisfied with his answer, asked if anyone else had inquired. “How did you get an internship here?” “Mr. Stark found me on the internet and took a liking to my projects. He met me and decided I’d fit right in here,” Peter explained simply. It was a lie of course, but it functioned as their cover story. “Anyone else? No. Cool, so moving onto some other sections in the lab. Over in that corner are the testing rooms. I have some more equipment scattered around for certain projects or just overall help on making things. Feel free to look around for 5-7 minutes and ask any questions you may have.” Some kid, Peter wasn’t sure of their name, raised his hand. “Why do you have cars in here? Are they yours?” “Some of the cars are mine, courtesy of Mr. Stark, who claims no lab is complete without some collection of cars. I can’t even drive them, to your point, but I guess I will when I’m eighteen. Some of the cars are Mr. Harley Keener’s, who I occasionally share my lab with. He doesn't do Avengers related projects, but he does love to tinker here and there. ‘Specially on the cars. See that red one, yeah he bought it for 5k and fixed it up. It’s actually an electric car, he just likes the old timers look. Guess that’s on him and da-Mr. Stark.”

No one seemed to have any other question, so he allowed them to look around. MJ nor Ned seemed to be in this class. He guessed they were in another group that wasn’t coming up here, or they went to a different location.

The tour went smoothly, and Flash seemed too shocked to say anything. “Peter! Peter!” Bucky came in yelling. Peter ran over to him. “Please keep it down uncle Buck.” “Oh shit your class is here!” “Yes now please don’t embarrass me.” “Won’t do! Just wanted to ask where Loki went.” “Asgard official business,” I said with a frown. “Really? He didn’t say a thing!” “I know.” “That little shit.” Peter laughed alongside Bucky. “Did you need anything else?” “Yeah, my arm's a little fucked up. Need a hand.” “Happy to give it a look. Dad in a meeting?” “To all our shock, yes.” “Ha. Give me a sec to get my class outta here.” Bucky nodded. “Right everyone, thanks for visiting. Please head towards the exit. The lovely Aliah will take you to your next location. They are awesome!” A murmur of “thanks Peter” and “is that the winter soldier” spread through the room. “See ya round,” Aliah said to him personally, “And thanks for this.” “Anytime. Bye!” They smiled a warm smile before leading the class out.

“What’s not working so well?” Peter asked. “Just some tightness in the finger motion. “Alright, okay. Fri, get me an update of the schematics, please.” “Yes, sir.” They appeared on the holographic table Peter was working at. “Right, can I please get a current scan of Uncle Bucky’s arm?” “Yes. Shall I place them next to the schematics?” “Yep. And highlight all differences.” “Yes miniboss.” “You gotta stop with that Fri.” “Name unable to be changed under the authority of Tony Stank, Badass Boss, God of Mischief, and Fiance.” “Glad the whole team is against me living a good life,” Peter remarked with an eye roll. “You drama queen.” “Thanks,” Peter smiled. “You know what’s wrong yet?” Peter opened up the schematics, looking at the highlighted section of the 3d arm model. He didn’t speak for a moment. “So I reckon, you fucked up the wiring and section T4’s minigears. None of the important tech is messed up, it’ll be fine. Maybe a half an hour fix. Max.” “Good, good. Thanks kid,” Bucky said with an appreciative smile. He nodded, disconnecting the arm carefully. He placed it onto his table next to the holographic model. He gave a skeptical look. “Something bad?” “No, no, I was just thinking. Thinking, hmn.” “Care to share with the class?” Buck said with a sense of humor lingering in his voice. “Well, you’re not on mission all that often, and this is quite a bulky arm. Ever think about getting one that’s your skin colour, lighter weight, more, I don’t know, arm like. Less hydra murdery vibes. Help get rid of that, that time.” “I have…” “So can I make it?” Peter said excitedly. “You mean it?” “Of course Uncle Buck! No clue why dad hasn’t offered before!” “Guess he never thought of it. Maybe thought I liked the scary metal thing,” he suggested weakly. “Well that’s stupid,” Peter said casually. Bucky never understood how the kid could be so compassionate so easily. “Thanks. Really.” “No worries. I’ve been looking for a new project to throw myself into. It'll be fun. And as much as I hate to admit it, I need to work on my smaller scale mechanical work.” All Bucky could do was smile his beaming smile. “Bucky!” the voice of the Black Widow shouted. “Hey Nat,” Buck replied. “Wanna train?” she asked. “As much as I want to,” he said, pointing towards the area his arm would have been. “Oh, what happened this time?” “Nothing to major, some gears and wires,” Peter filled it, “Give me twenty minutes I’ll be done.” He’d already opened the arm and gotten to the section where the wires were screwed up. “DAN-E get me the soldering kit, please,” he asked the robot, “Oh and some new T6YU wires. Red and purple.” The robot gave a vaguely human nod. “Right, I'll be waiting. Test the adjustments out on me?” She suggested. “Alright,” Buck said. “Oh and I’m in charge of ordering food. What do you want?” “Burgers?” “You boring, bland little boy,” Nat scolded. “Thai?” Buck requested. They looked over to Peter, “Sure, yeah.” Nat headed out, greeting Tony with a “Hey Stank” on the stairs out of his lab. “Yours is so much smarter than mine, why is yours so much smarter than mine,” Tony fake (real) whined. “I’m the superior mechanic, father, deal with it.” DAN-E, almosting proving his point, dropped the materials on his desk, and he continued to work. “I’m donating DUM-E,” Tony glared at him, “What happened to the arm Buck?” “Stiff fingers isall.” “Oh, ok. Pete, need a hand?” “Nah, I’m good. Not much to do. Some wires got fucked up, just replacing them now. Going to look at the minigears in the palm too, just to make sure the oil regulation and gear’s aren't broken. I think one of the gears is, but it's one of them that's easy to replace,” Peter replied, not looking up from his work. “Right, sounds good. Your pops and I are going out for the night. Be back around 12 let’s say.” “Cool. Can I borrow some vibranium from your lab?” “Sure thing kiddo. Call us if you need anything. Fri, give Peter access to vault B3 in my lab.” “Thanks,” Peter smiled. “Anytime. Good luck with ya know.” “Shouldn’t he ask you what you're going to do with a substance that costs 10,000$ a gram?” “Something about trusting me.” “Parents trust their kids with going out later or or doing their homework not fucking multimillions of dollars.” “Uncle Bucky, my parents are Iron Man and Captain America. There was never a shot at normal.” “Fair enough.”

Peter finished up the adjustment on the arm by changing a gear. “Thanks a lot kid.” “Of course. I’m going to work on your new arm now.” “Alrighty, I’ll get out of your way.” “Oh could you ask Auntie Nat what time she’s ordering dinner for? So I know when to head up, just get Fri to tell me.” “Will do.” “Thanks.”

So Peter was left to making some blueprints and drinking many red bulls. The red bull mini-fridge was actually a gift from Shuri, and his fathers had many words with him about it. He managed to convince them that he should keep it, god knows how. Well, he used the whole Princess of Wakanda and making peace and Stark Industries relationship with Wakandan products and companies as well as international relations and blah blah. It worked, who cares.

After a few hours he was called up for dinner, and he sat there and enjoyed the absolute chaos of his family.

Save/comment on A03 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/33320938

[t-o-m-hollands]

California Dreaming Harry Styles x y/n

Summary: Harry is having a bad morning, and you try to cheer him up.

Themes: Super fluffy, dreamy one shot.

Warnings: None, except maybe mentions of alcohol?

Word count: 1,7 k

A/N: First of, this is based on this post . It’s also inspired by a dream I had and somewhat similar to my story Happy Place. Also, the house is slightly inspired by Dakota Johnson's house. I listened to honeymoon by lana del rey and fine line by harry styles while writing this. Please leave feedback if you can. Not proof read as of yet

In a hotel room somewhere far away from home Harry wakes up that morning to a wave of inexplicable and unavoidable sadness. Blinking slowly, he lays unmoving, and stares out the window. The view is one of a dark sky, and seemingly never ceasing rain. It’s like the whole world has been painted grey.

He wakes that morning and there is a heaviness in his chest, slowly spreading its way through his body. He doesn’t want to move out of bed. Doesn’t want to face the day. Nor does he particularly want to stay in bed, but it seems like the better option.  

The only glimmer of light, the speck of colour on an otherwise grey canvas, is the woman lying next to him, still asleep. He draws her closer to him, finding comfort in her warm body, the familiar scent of her and he listens to her soft breathing; trying to make order of his own thoughts.  

When you wake you smile up at him, and gently you press a kiss to the tip of his nose, and he can’t help but smile. Eventually you get up, but he stays in bed, and the places your body touched burn when you leave. So, he turns to the window and he observes the rain again. If anything, it’s increased. You don’t mind the rain, you never have. In fact, the sound of raindrops against the window has a soothing effect on you.  

He stays in bed while you order room service and only when it arrives does he sits up. He leaves for the bathroom and when he comes back he crashed down on the bed again, seemingly drained of energy. You get him to eat his breakfast as the news show on the TV in the background. After having eaten he gets you both to lay down on the bed again, and god, he feels exhausted already.  

“You know” you say, touching the frown between his eyes with a gentle finger, as if you’re trying to erase it. “One day we’ll buy a house somewhere in California, up by the mountains. And I’ll plant a garden.”

“Yeah?”  

“Yes, right outside the French doors leading to the kitchen I'll plant a lemon three and each year we’ll watch it grow taller. And I’ll plant some herbs too. Basil, parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme. And lavender of course. I’ll plant tomatoes too, and peppers and squash and spinach and radishes as well. All the good stuff”.

A smile tugs the corner of his mouth and something close to hope shines in his eyes.  

“And have you seen our living room? It’s got big windows to let in the never-ending Californian sunshine. And in an antique cabinet, that by the way; we’ll find some Wednesday afternoon as we’re strolling through a Fleamarket. We’ll see it and we’ll share a glance and we’ll both know that we have to have it. We’ll store our records there, but even though I'll constantly collect new ones, only the good ones get to stay in the antique cabinet. We’ll listen to a new one every night as we cook dinner. I can see it in front of me right now, clear as day; you chopping vegetables and me drinking wine, some obscure band from the 70’s playing in the background that I'll dance along to, even though I claim to help you with the food.”

He smiles for real then, beginning small before it spreads all across his face, eyes twinkling with love.

“Only the good ones will end up in the antique cabinet. Therefor we’ll call it heaven.” You’re smiling too now and he caresses your arm, gently touching you as you speak. You’re lying next to each other in bed, almost nose to nose.

“Sometimes when we cook dinner together, I'll tell you about my day as I pour us some wine and you’ll tell me about yours while you chop the garlic. Some nights we’ll slow dance in the kitchen, just because we want to and because it feels good to be close to you and I've missed you.”  

He leans in even closer and presses a soft kiss against your forehead. You’re so warm and the warmth spreads through him.

You continue.  

“On cold evening we’ll light the fire in the living room, and I'll play you some music and we’ll read or talk, but never about the weather. Or maybe we’ll argue over a game of scrabble but we always make peace before we go to bed. And on some nights, we’ll have friends and family over and we’ll drink tequila and talk and play music and someone’ll end up dancing on the table and we will all laugh until our stomach's hurts. And you’ll feel loved. On other nights we’ll sit on the porch, just the two of us, sharing a jug of sangria and we’ll watch the sun set over the horizon, while I read through my scripts and you play on your guitar.”

He can see it so clearly in front of him and he wants it all so badly it hurts.  

“Oh, and you know what?” you laugh and he shakes his head, still looking at you with stars in his eyes, still slowly touching your skin; as if he’s unable not to. “Our neighbour will be an old retired priest, but he’s now dedicated beekeeper. And I’ll pick some sunflowers and lemons from our garden and I’ll exchange them for little pots of honey and I'll bake us a honey and lavender cake. We’ll eat it sprawled out on blankets on the grass under the beaming sun”.

“You’re amazing” he breaths out. He didn’t mean to say it, doesn��t want to interrupt your storytelling, but you’ve replaced the heaviness in his stomach with the same warm feeling whiskey or chamomile tea leaves behind and he needs you to know how miraculous you are.  

You laugh in response and kiss the tip of his nose again before you continue.  

“There won’t be a single white wall inside our home. We’ll paint our hallway a sunshine yellow, I can see it now, how we’ll argue and laugh, and sing and dance and bicker as we stand there, both of us with a paint roller in each hand, colouring the white walls yellow; over time filling the space with coats and hats and odd shoes. Art hanging on the walls. In fact, all around the house art work we’ve collected over the years will hang. And in my office a gigantic bookshelf will be overflowing with books. Inherited books, borrowed books, bought books and odd books found in flea markets were the previous owner has already covered the work in dog ears and scribbles. And sometimes I'll buy books in languages I don’t understand. I'll sit with you out on the veranda, soaking up sunshine, and I’ll try to guess the meaning behind each word. And I'll guess what the book is about based on odd words here and there that I'll understand and we’ll laugh about it and you’ll call me silly but really, you want to kiss me”.

He leans in and kisses you and for a while every thought escapes you both and it’s like the sun has finally come out, even to the steady beat of the rain still drum on in the background. In the end he pulls away and asks you to continue your story.

“We’ll have a blue tiled kitchen and copper pots and wicker baskets everywhere. And all the plates will be in different vibrant colours, bought on different occasions at different places. When family or friends come over for dinner they’ll all have a favourite plate and they’ll shout ‘I want the yellow one!’ or ‘the red one is mine!’ My personal favourite will be sunflower yellow, yours will be sea blue. And somewhere in the house we’ll have a pink bathroom or powder room. At first, you’ll say no to this idea but in the end, you’ll give way because you’ll know it’ll make me happy. Just like I’ll make way because I know that it makes you happy that the dog sleeps in our bed in the morning”.  

He cups your face, stroking your cheek with his thumb and Christ, how did he ever get so lucky?

“There will be no plywood in our home. The walls will be of stone or wood, build endure. Built to last” you say with a serious tone. “And on the days where you feel especially burdened or sad, I'll play all your favourite songs on our old piano. I’ll sing them until you’ll beg me to stop. But you can’t help but smile too, especially when I’ll play you Here Comes the Sun, or California Dreamin’. And on those rare rainy California days we’ll stay inside and watch movies, even though we never agree on what to watch. In the end we’ll settle for something badly made and ridiculous and I'll lay on the sofa, my legs in your lap and a blanket draped over us, and we’ll laugh at all the bad jokes. Because we feel loved and laughter comes easy with you.”

He can’t quite describe the feeling in his chest then except it feels like his heart is imploding. This is what love is.  

“And I'll collect ceramic works, little pots and pieces made by friends and artists alike, and I'll place them all over the house and I'll pick flowers from the garden and I’ll put them in. Sunflowers and jasmines to be exact. And when the jasmine dies, I'll press the flowers in my books and I’ll use them as book marks. And when you’ll borrow one of my books and you travel far away, you’ll find that when you open up the first page the scent of jasmine will hit you and it’ll remind you of me, of the fact that you’re never alone. It’ll remind you of home”.

*

So when i first wrote this late at night and i felt rather proud of it but clearly that was just tiredness. Not proud of this one now but i’ve been promising a harry styles one shot for some time now so here it is.

Please leave feedback

[gothpanda]

A Little Bit of Attitude Ch.27: Christmas

WORD COUNT: 7.2k

A/N: Enjoy! Comments are highly appreciated! ❤️

WARNINGS: none

TAGS: @madamsixx​ @emariehorror​

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December 11th, 1982

"I still don't get why you wanted to eat in your shit apartment when we could've gone somewhere," Sammi complained, twirling her plastic fork to capture linguine noodles in the carryout plate. They sat beside each other on the old sofa, Sammi praying it wouldn't break again. Nikki swallowed his spaghetti, kicking his feet up on the grimy coffee table. "Because maybe I just want to be in a quiet place for my birthday," Nikki answered with a smirk.

"Oh, is that why you abandoned the guys in San Diego?" Sammi asked, matching Nikki's smirk. "To be in a quiet place eating Italian food… with me?"

"Exactly. Besides you can admit you're happy to see my face. I won't tell anyone,"

"Shut up. I was happy because you surprised me at work. It's not like I miss you or anything," Sammi mumbled, smiling shyly away from Nikki. The two ate in silence with the music playing at low volume, songs range from 79 to this year playing on loop. 'Waiting for a Girl Like You' began playing, gaining Nikki and Sammi's attention, passing glances at each other.

"This is a cute song," Sammi admitted, placing her food on the coffee table, standing up as she walked over to the small kitchen sill.

"Of course you'd like the love songs," Nikki teased, sipping on his cold beer.

"Oh shush. You write love songs all the time too. They're just disguised as heavy rock for the tough boys," Sammi said over her shoulder.

"You aren't wrong but don't be telling that to magazines when we're famous,"

Sammi unzipped the dividing pocket of her black purse, slowly taking out a tiny red gift bag. Sammi looked at Nikki continue mindlessly eating, thankful he didn't notice anything. Sammi held the bag behind her back, standing right in front of Nikki with a dopey smile that made Nikki raise an eyebrow.

"Whatcha doing?" Nikki asked. Sammi whipped her arms forward, holding the gift bag between the two of them.

"Happy birthday!" Sammi exclaimed.

"You got me a present?" Nikki asked, putting his cardboard plate down as he took hold of the present.

"Well yeah I had to or else I'd feel bad,"

"You didn't even know it was my birthday 'til a few hours ago," Nikki said with a smile.

"And who's fault is that, Mr. Secretive?"

Nikki shook his head, removing the white tissue paper to find a flat navy velvet box sitting at the bottom. Nikki threw the gift bag aimlessly, scrunched eyebrows as he opened the box, revealing a black onyx crystal stone pendant. Nikki carefully pulled out the necklace, admiring the silver rope chain for it. "Wow, Sam. This looks pretty cool. When and where did you even get this?"

Sammi sat right next to Nikki. "As soon as I got off work. There's a cool witchy hippie store that opened up. The guy who sold it to me said the stone is supposed to absorb negativity and turn it into strength and protection. I just thought it looked cool," said Sammi, shrugging her shoulders. "Do you like it?"

"I love it. Thank you, Sammi," Nikki said, smiling dearly at Sammi, glancing down at her lips. He didn't know if he should kiss her, not know what to do in general with the young girl. So instead, Nikki gave her a hug and kissed her temple. "I hope this gives me all the protection I need,"

December 13th, 1985

Covina, California

Sammi looked down into the boiling pot of water, checking to see if it appeared perfect for the macaroni noodles she needed to pour in. Shrugging her shoulder, Sammi grabbed a bowl of uncooked noodles, pouring in carefully, and adding salt into the water. She turned the timer for 8 minutes beside her then paid attention to the ground beef that was beginning to sizzle on her left, stirring it to not burn any sides. The onions were already entirely browned to Mrs. Bass's liking, reminding Sammi to sprinkle in the proper seasonings for pastitsio before the beef was too cooked. Sammi grabbed the salt and pepper shaker, shaking both vigorously as the meat was folding in on the skillet.

"Don't forget the cinnamon before the tomato paste," Mrs. Bass said behind Sammi, smiling at her daughter as she entered the kitchen. Sammi looked over her shoulder, matching her mother's smile and reaching for the pantry's ground cinnamon to her right.

"I won't. I am your only child that in fact knows how to cook," Sammi said to Mrs. Bass as she put a measuring cup of water by the stove. Mrs. Bass kissed Sammi's cheek in gratitude for helping make the Greek lasagna, knowing how long it took to cook the special dish. Simultaneously, Sammi poured in the cup of water and tomato paste into the ground beef, giving one final stir of everything before letting it simmer alone. Mrs. Bass looked over Sammi's shoulder to see if everything was going smoothly, knowing she could trust Sammi to make dinner.

"I know but I have to still be a mother and tell you what to do. I already shredded the cheese before you came," Mrs. Bass said, stirring the boiling pasta. Suddenly the backyard door in the kitchen opened fast, Athena walking in with a somber face. She didn't appear to be in the mood for a family dinner, wanting a stiff drink in her hand.

Mrs. Bass smiled when seeing Athena, opening her arms for a hug. "Athi! You're early,"

"Hey, Mama," Athena said, kissing her mother on the cheek but no smile to give. Sammi leaned against the kitchen island, smiling at Athena but not getting one in return. Athena only glared at Sammi, inching closer to the stove to see what was cooking. Sammi only kept her polite smile until Athena walked out into the living room without another word. Mrs. Bass acted as if nothing was wrong, getting the béchamel and cheese from the refrigerator.

"Hi to you too, Athena!" Sammi shouted from the kitchen, facing the stove to turn off a burner, carefully grabbing the boiling pot to drain out the pasta. Mrs. Bass scrunched her eyebrows together, studying Sammi's face.

"Is something wrong between you and Athena?" Mrs. Bass asked, spreading a thin layer of butter on the deep casserole dish, waiting to assemble it. Sammi just shrugged her shoulders, passing the macaroni noodles to her mother.

"She's just mad I didn't tell her about my little field trip to Vegas, and I think something went wrong in her love life," said Sammi, pouring in the ground beef then macaroni into the deep dish.

"In that case just give her some space if she's hurt about love. But also don't mind her moods just because you didn't say something to her," Mrs. Bass said, waving her hand in a shooing motion, almost like Athena should let her anger go. Mrs. Bass added the last touches to the pastitsio, putting it in the hot oven to cook for nearly an hour. "You have your own life. You can do whatever you want,"

"Yeah I know. She's just being a brat to me for not telling her," Sammi said, washing her hands. Mrs. Bass tried to withhold a chuckle, wiping her hands from any food on them.

"Be nice to your sister! She's the only one you have forever. Now go relax while I make a salad for everyone," Mrs. Bass ordered, pointing for Sammi to leave the kitchen. Sammi followed her mother's words, slowly strolling into the living room. Athena sat alone with a magazine in her hands, the television playing Three's Company in low volume. Sammi dropped herself on Mr. Bass's recliner, tucking her legs under herself, hitting her chin on her knuckles as she looked at Athena. Athena could obviously hear Sammi and feel her presence, peeking over the corner to see her sister stare.

"What?" Athena barked, looking back at the gossip magazine to only see Motley and other bands spread out the pages. Athena rolled her eyes at Nikki's picture, tossing the booklet on the coffee table.

"Nothing, nothing. I just wanted to know what was going on with my sister. Especially since you didn't bother to say hi to me," said Sammi.

"Maybe because I have nothing to say to you. Ever thought about that?"

"You're seriously going to be mad at me forever? Because I don't really care at this point,"

"Of course you wouldn't care. You're as selfish as your stupid boyfriend," Athena accused, lowering her voice so their mother wouldn't hear. Sammi only frowned and rolled her eyes, slumping more in-depth into the recliner.

"At least I have something with someone," Sammi mumbled, staring at the tv.

"Oh fuck you," Athena said, folding her arms to her chest. Sammi glared at Athena, hugging her arms like her sister.

"I'm not selfish because I hang around with Nikki. I don't have to tell you everything,"

"You said you were done with him," Athena pointed out.

"And you've said Emma was being overly dramatic about your relationship," Sammi rebuttal.

"Are you only on her side to get back at me? Why are you even bringing her up?" Athena asked, narrowing her eyes to Sammi.

"Karma tastes so good right when a sibling doesn't shut up about your love life? And no I'm not. She was my friend first before your girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend,"

"You're such a bitch," Athena mumbled. Sammi shook her head, taking a deep breath in.

"Again, are you going to be mad at me for not telling you about Vegas?" Sammi asked.

"Again, you said you were done with that guy,"

"You are so annoying. Can you just answer the question,"

"I'm mad you don't tell the truth to us anymore. We were so good for a moment and then you did a 180 again. Except for this time where you have us around," Athena said, grabbing the remote to change the challenges. Sammi blinked for a moment, scrunching deep between her brows.

"What?"

"Tommy and I finally had you being on our side where we told each other everything like it always was. Remember? Right before you became a selfish brat in high school. Then all of a sudden when you get with him, you do 180 and keep secrets,"

"You're one to talk about being a brat. Aren't the older siblings supposed to be the more mature ones?"

"Whatever. How about you just stop talking about him okay? Because trust me no one wants to fucking hear it," Sammi stared at Athena for a moment, bouncing her leg up and down fast.

"His name is Nikki," Sammi said before marching out of the living room and heading up to her old empty space. She shut the door and fell on the naked bed, closing her eyes as she sighed out.

*

Dinner was relatively quiet for the Bass family. Mr. and Mrs. Bass sitting at each head on the table while Sammi and Athena were across from one another. Sammi and Athena didn't want to look at each other, looking down at their food or their respective parents. Mr. Bass went on about co-workers who couldn't do their jobs right while Mrs. Bass gave her little advice. It wasn't until Mrs. Bass brought up the question of her husband's Christmas schedule that Sammi's ear perked up, remembering what she needed to do.

"Um I'm glad you brought up Christmas, Mama, I need to tell you guys something," Sammi said, wiping away any food from the corner of her mouth. Her parents and Athena's eyes were all on her. Athena frowning deep while their parents kept no hard looks, only curiosity on them.

"What is it, Sammi?" asked Mr. Bass.

"I'm not gonna be here for Christmas," Sammi said, pressing her lips together. Her eyes shifted to Mr. and Mrs. Bass, eyes shot up while Athena frowned deeper.

"Oh? And where will you be?" asked Mrs. Bass, holding her hands together on the table with amusement.

"Idaho," Sammi smiled, taking another bite of the food she cooked tonight.

"And what's in Idaho? Or who for that matter?" Mr. Bass asked, smiled. Athena dropped her fork and knife on the plate, crossing her arms tightly against her chest.

"Nikki invited me to spend Christmas with him and his grandparents. They live in Idaho in the middle of nowhere. You guys aren't mad I'll be missing Christmas, right?" Sammi said with worry.

"Oh no, Sammi! It'll be fun! You'll get to have a white Christmas for once," Mrs. Bass says, reaching over to squeeze Sammi's hand. "Of course I will miss my little lovebug. We'll have a personal Christmas for when you come back,"

"Do you have enough warm clothes? I wouldn't want you freezing up there," Mr. Bass asked, taking a bite of his food. "Open land near Canada is just the perfect place for snow,"

"Yes I do. Nikki warned me to buy a lot of winter clothes. He said it can get to 7 degrees. I bought a whole bunch of coats for the trip,"

"Wear extra socks. If you have the flu when you get back, I'm going to have a word with Nikki," Mr. Bass with humor, pointing his fork at Sammi as he looked over his glasses.

"And when will you be leaving? How long are you going to stay over there?" Mrs. Bass asked.

"The 23rd. It'll give Nikki enough time to rest from his Florida flight and pack again. He wants to stay until the 30th so we don't deal with crazy airport traffic on the way home," said Sammi, glancing up at Athena as she ate her food.

"Sounds like a good plan. Hopefully, you two don't get any delays from the weather," Mr. Bass said. Sammi only smiled and continued to finish her food, glancing up to see Athena sulking in her seat.

"You don't think it's weird that Sammi's going to spend a holiday with him? She's supposed to be with family. Not a random guy," Athena said, pursing her lips out and sucking her teeth as she glared at Sammi. Sammi matched her sister's eyes, keeping a tight grip on her fork. "I mean you two haven't even met him,"

"He's not a random guy. We've met Nikki before on a few short occasions. Seems like a nice young man. Quiet but still nice. And I trust Sammi's decisions to be around him," Mrs. Bass said.

"See Athena? People like Nikki," said Sammi, sucking her teeth.

"And Athena be respectful. Nikki is your brother and sister's closet friend, you can to say his name," said Mr. Bass

"But I don't like him! And I don't like Sammi ditching us to go and play house with a rock star," Athena barked in Sammi's direction.

"Athena!" Mrs. Bass shouted frowning.

"I'm not playing house! Nikki's grandmother said he could bring a friend and he asked me,"

"A friend or a girlfriend? Because what grandmother just suggests that unless Nikki talked them into it?" Athena asked.

"Nikki isn't my boyfriend. And it's called being nice and hospitable to their grandson. Something you know nothing about with your ugly attitude," Sammi said.

"Samantha, that is enough," Mr. Bass uttered under his breath.

"And when did Nikki ask you? Was it in Vegas or maybe another time you snuck away to see him without telling anyone? Was it after Tommy caught you two in the elevator together or before?" Athena asked.

"Why should I tell you? I thought you didn't want to hear it?" Sammi said in a mocking voice.

"And I told you to stop talking about it! No one cares!"

"Fine then bud out of my life and shut up!"

"Fine!"

"Girls!" Mr. and Mrs. Bass yelled in unison, causing each daughter to look at one parent. "You two shouldn't be arguing like this. Athena, apologize to your sister," Mr. Bass told Athena.

"What? Why?!"

"Because you're being rude to Sammi about matters that do not involve you. If she wants to be around Nikki, then leave her to it. You shouldn't be giving relationship advice in the first place," Mr. Bass said, pressing his lips firmly together.

Athena rolled her eyes. "No. I'm not apologizing for giving my opinion about Nikki,"

"Athena, you have the right to an opinion but your father is right. It's her and Tommy's decision to be around Nikki. If your sister wishes to spend her time with that boy, then that's just how it's going to be," Mrs. Bass advised in a soft voice.

"You two don't even know him! He's not good! He's crazy and mean to everyone!"

"Jesus. You sound just like Amanda," Sammi mumbled, pushing herself out of her seat and grabbing her half-finished plate.

"Well, maybe she had some points!" Athena shouted out to Sammi as she left the dining room. Sammi threw away the rest of the food in the trash, trying not to drop the glass plate in the sink, keeping in mind how it could break. Mrs. Bass cautiously walked into the kitchen, placing a hand on Sammi's shoulder. Sammi only stayed looking out the kitchen window, trying to eavesdrop on what her father was telling Athena.

"I know it may seem like this can last forever, but Athena will come around," Mrs. Bass reassured.

"And what makes you so sure of that, Mama?" Sammi asked, meeting her mother's gaze.

"Because she's your sister. You only have each other,"

"Yeah well I'm not going to hold my breath," Sammi said, turning on the faucet for warm water and began washing the dishes.

December 23rd, 1985

Van Nuys, California

Sammi yawned out loud, laying down on Nikki's clean sheets as she waited for the man to finish packing his winter bag. Nikki smirked at Sammi's sleepiness, beginning to feel the excitement of spending almost a week with his two favorite people, well three. Nikki grabbed the checklist he wrote down on the plane, double-checking in his mind that everything was already packed.

"Excited to see your grandparents?" Sammi asked, resting her head on a pillow. Nikki sat down by Sammi, moving his suitcase to the middle of the bed.

"Yeah. I haven't seen them in what feels like forever. Especially spending a Christmas with them. Are you still nervous about meeting them?" Nikki asked, laying against the silk pillows.

"A little bit. I know you said that they'll love me but I've never met someone else's family like this,"

"Oh come on. You've done the whole meeting the parents with your old boyfriends before?"

"Not really. Hate to break it to you but I rarely had boyfriends in high school or even before I met you,"

"Bullshit! I don't believe you,"

"I'm serious! Vince has been my only real boyfriend, and I barely even saw his family when we were together,"

"Damn. Well if it makes you feel better, you're my only girlfriend meeting Nona and Tom. Also the first to meet Deana but she doesn't count for shit," Nikki said, scrunching his brows together at Sammi's quizzical grin. "What?"

"I'm your girlfriend?" Sammi asked, raising an eyebrow. "This is news to me,"

Nikki rolled his eyes, clearing his throat as he looked away from Sammi. "I think it's pretty clear to everyone that you're my girl. Don't act so surprised,"

"Okay! I won't act surprised. Boyfriend," Sammi said with a shit-eating grin.

"So what was little Sammi like in high school to not get a boyfriend?" Nikki asked, pinching Sammi's cheek. Sammi playfully shoved Nikki's hand away from her, acting annoyed even when not.

"Almost like when you met me except quieter with way less attitude. I just studied. Played volleyball. Stayed with my clique all four years. Worked when I was bored and wanted money. I had guys to mess around with but it never lasted more than 2 months," said Sammi. "What about you? What were you like in high school? I bet you had girls throwing themselves at you, wanting to try a bad boy out," Sammi asked, resting on her stomach.

"Well remember, I didn't finish high school. Mainly I would get into fights with guys who stared me down, and steal their girlfriends when they were bored. Be around random guys who didn't want to be in school. That's it. You think we would've hung out in high school?"

"Nik, we're five years apart. We wouldn't be in high school together, that would be illegal,"

"Can you just answer the question without pointing out the obvious, Ms. Bubble Burster?"

Sammi rolled her eyes. "Fine. No, I don't think we would have in high school at all. I hung out with the popular sporty girls whose favorite pastime was being judgy. I would've stayed far away from you unless you became friends with Tommy. Maybe have a secret crush on you,"

"Ouch. Why don't you rip my heart out while you're at it? Right after I called you my girlfriend", Nikki asked, clenching his chest, making Sammi laugh at him.

"Oh shush you'll be fine. Just wait until we're both in Idaho and you'll forget about it," Sammi said, crawling over to kiss Nikki lightly on the lips.

"Speaking of which, I should call the cab already. Are you sure you've packed one hundred percent?" Nikki asked, pushing himself off the bed and zipping up his filled suitcase.

"Yes I am. I'm not going to be freezing my ass off the entire time we're there. I'm ready to sleep for the entire plane ride," Sammi said, stretching her arms over, walking over to Nikki, where she wrapped her arms around his waist from the back. Sammi pressed her chin on Nikki's back, hopeful that the few days can make Nikki forget about the little thing that strained them. He hadn't spoken about it when they called each other, but Sammi told herself that Nikki was a big boy who could take care of himself. She just needed to keep telling herself that.

Middle of Nowhere, Idaho

Sammi held her breath as Nikki drove down the dark, icy roads, scared whenever the rental pick up truck felt like it would skid off into the snowy fields. Nikki knew how to go in this weather, but it didn't stop Sammi from her fear, Nikki glancing every so often to see Sammi's face. He laid a hand on her thigh, whipping his head when Sammi winced away from his touch.

"Both hands on the wheel," Sammi pointed, frowning as she looked out to the white surroundings. Nikki wanted to object but still listened, placing his hands at ten and two.

"Babe, I've driven down these roads more times than you can count. The truck has its brand snow tires and the roads are clear as day," Nikki reassured. "We're going to be fine,"

"That still doesn't ease my mind. You're driving in the dark. And aren't you scared about the black ice?"

"Nope. I'm driving at a nice and for once slow speed to be careful. Besides we're not that far from Tom and Nona's place,"

"How can you even tell? Everything looks the same," Sammi said, changing the radio when static began playing.

"Ya see here city girl, you have to look at the trees and other things to know where you are. You recognize the landmarks of everyone's farm," Nikki said with what Sammi thought could be an Idaho accent. Sammi rolled her eyes, trying not to giggle at being called a city girl, knowing it would encourage Nikki.

"We get it, Country Boy, this isn't L. A or California anymore. The place where there are buildings and people. Maybe even some street lights to see what's going on,"

"Exactly. This country boy knows where we're going. Plus, I gave my grandparents a wood carven sign last Christmas to put in their entranceway," Nikki smiled almost cocky, laughing boyishly at Sammi's annoyed face.

"You're such a little shit," Sammi mumbled, taking off her seatbelt and scooting close to Nikki, putting her head on his shoulder. "Wake me up when we're there,"

"Alright, Sleeping Beauty,"

*

"There's my son! Tom come on, they're here!" Nona yelled out into the two-story farmhouse, standing on the brown wooden wrap-around porch. Tom pushed open the fence gate door, zipping up his heavy coat. Nikki drove through the bumpy pathway that Tom cleared up, laughing every time he and Sammi jumped in their seats. Nikki pulled up close to the front porch, flipping off the ignition, headlights turning off. Sammi jumped out of the pickup, eyes looking down with amazement at her boots, stepping onto the ankle-deep snow. Sammi tried to walk on perfect balance, realizing how difficult it was to maneuver on the ice. Nikki helped by lacing his mitten fingers around Sammi's hand, smiling at Nona and Tom.

"Hi, Nikki!" Nona said in excitement, giving Nikki a big hug on the porch steps patting his back to get rid of any fallen snow. Nona quickly took note of Sammi, wanting to match the same affection she had to Nikki for Sammi, but waited for Nikki to introduce the girl. The couple finally took cover under the porch, Sammi keeping quiet with a soft smile. Tom gave Nikki a quick hug, wanting to head inside to feel the fire he just started.

"Hey, Nona. Hey, Tom. There's someone I'd like you to meet," Nikki said, squeezing Sammi's hand. "This is Sammi. My girlfriend," Sammi waved at the older couple, nervous but noticing how they both smiled happily at the two.

"Hi! It's so good to meet you two. Nikki's said so many things about you guys," Sammi said, reaching out for Nona's hand. Nona shoved Sammi's hand away, wrapping her in a tight hug, cupping her cheeks to look at Sammi.

"Well aren't you just the prettiest. I'm happy to finally meet you," Nona said, kissing Sammi on the cheek. Nona almost passed Sammi to Tom, the older man hugging the small girl at a fast speed. "Nikki has said some things about you too. How about you ladies head inside, Nik and I will get the luggage," said Tom, squeezing Sammi's shoulder.

"Are you sure? I don't mind helping Nikki out myself," Sammi asked as Nikki and Tom carefully stepped down on the frozen steps.

"Oh don't be crazy, let the men do the heavy lifting. I'm sure you're starving. I have chicken pot pies staying warm in the oven," Nona said, softly holding Sammi's arm, leading her into the country style home. The house felt warm, cozy with old wooden style furniture and a brick fireplace. Nona pointed at the coat rack near the door as she disappeared in the kitchen, Sammi scanning the home. It was decorated for Christmas, a green garland wrapped around the staircase with lights. The smell of pine-scented the front of the house, the Christmas tree decorated with white and red bulb ornaments in the living room corner. The gifts Nikki sent out a week before already arranged perfectly under the tree. Sammi sat down at the dining table right in front of the kitchen, peeking over to see if Nona needed help with anything. The chicken pot pie smell wafted through the air, making Sammi's stomach rumble with hunger. Nona placed a hot ramekin on the placemat in front of Sammi, setting an olive green cloth napkin and silver fork.  

"Thank you, Mrs…?"

"You don't need to finish Mrs part, just call me Nona like everyone else. Would you like some iced tea to drink?" asked Nona, fixing her circle-shaped glasses.

"Oh no, I'm good for right now. Thank you so much for dinner. It smells amazing," Sammi said, crack opening the pastry pie crust with the fork, hot steam escaping its shell. She blew on the food in an attempt to cool it, not wanting to burn herself. With one bite, her eyes shot wide to Nona, chewing the juicy chicken.

"Wow, this is really good. I've never had chicken pot pie before," Sammi said, wiping her mouth with the napkin.

"Really? What does your mom cook for you and your siblings then?" Nona asked, placing the rest of the chicken pot pies for Tom and Nikki, sitting right by Sammi.

"She's from Greece so basically every kind of food from there. But I'm definitely adding this to my list of recipes when I get home," Sammi said, taking another bite of food as she could hear Nikki and Tom walk into the home.

"So I assume you're a little chef," Nona asked. Sammi nodded with food in her mouth, looking up beside her when Nikki and Tom entered the dining room. Nikki sat right by Sammi, taking off the wool gloves and breathing to warm his fingers up.

"Nik, you didn't tell me Sammi liked to cook. I'm going to have fun with her on Christmas eve dinner," Nona said with a smile, walking into the kitchen to quickly grab a jug of iced tea. Nikki only began eating, starving from the lack of a proper home-cooked meal that belonged to Nona. Tom started to eat at his own pace.

"That's because Sammi only cooks when she wants to be nice to me," Nikki said, taking another piece of chicken pot pie. Sammi stuck her tongue out at Nikki, making Tom chuckle a little.

"Sounds like Nona when I first met her. She'd only make her specialties when I'd bring her flowers as a thank you," Tom said, grabbing the iced tea that Nona offered him.

"That's because it rarely happened," Nona teased, admiring the happy people eating the food she prepared with love. "The food turned out great for everyone?" Nikki, Sammi, and Tom all nodded in silence, enjoying the savory, creamy dinner.

"Like always, Nona," Nikki said, earning himself a kiss on the crown of his head. "You're not gonna eat?"

"Oh don't worry about me, Nik. I'll be fine," Nona said, sitting right next to Tom.

"So Sam, tell us a bit about yourself? Do you work or are you in school or both?" Tom asked, sipping on the iced tea. Sammi wiped the corner of her mouth, standing up straight in her seat.

"I was in school. I graduated in May and decided to take a year off. I'm actually a secretary at Elektra. Nikki's manager helped me get the job," Sammi answered.

"What degree did you graduate with? Nikki's went on about how you're a smart girl," Nona asked, smirking when Nikki glared at her with subtle annoyance.

"Biology with a minor in Chemistry. I was aiming to become a vet, but I'm not so sure anymore,"

"Well don't worry about not being sure, you're young. You have a whole life ahead of you to decide what you really want," said Tom.

"And with smarts like yours, you'll be just fine!" said Nona, slowly collecting Tom and Nikki's empty plate. Immediately Sammi jumped from her seat, tucking her and Nikki's empty glasses between her arm, grabbing empty ramekins. "Oh, you don't have to clean up, Sammi!" Nona said, about to take the dirty dishes from the young girl.

"I insist, Nona. Take it as my way of saying thank you for letting me in your home," Sammi said, smiling at Nona as the two walked into the kitchen. Sammi carefully laid the ceramic dishes into the sink, looking around for any dish soap.

"It's Tom's turn to load the dishwasher, sweetheart. You can just leave dishes there," Nona said, placing the glass cups and the other dishes. "I'm glad Nikki is looking good after the whole Deana incident. He does look a bit skinny though," Nona said, pouring a glass of iced tea for herself. Sammi leaned against the sink, folding her arms as she remembered the event and let out a sigh.

"I really didn't know how to react when I saw her. I'd never seen Nikki look so shocked and numb before. He broke a whiskey bottle right in front of her," Sammi said, looking down at her winter boots.

"Nikki had a right to be shocked and angry. She may be my daughter, but sometimes I just want to shake her for treating her son so poorly. He's lucky you were there," Nona said, giving Sammi a quick sympathetic grin. "Nikki needs someone there to lift him up. I know he can be a little hard on himself,"

"Well, I'm happy to be there for him. But can I ask a question?" Sammi asked, Nona, nodding for approval. "How was Deana like with Nikki when he was younger? He hasn't really told me anything. It's kind of like pulling teeth with him sometimes,"

"Deana was like a swing with Nikki. She'd say how much she loved her son but then leave him here or put him on a bus by himself. Nikki always wanted to be with her, but I think once he turned a certain age, Nikki could see the truth. So he didn't want to be around her,' Nona said.

"And what about his sister or 'half' like how Nikki always says?"

"Oh, she'd stay with Deana. We rarely had her stay with us like we did Nikki. But of course, if you ask Deana about any of this, she'll say that Tom and I convinced Nikki to be mean to her. All we did was just remind Nikki the door was always open when he wanted to getaway. I love that boy like he was my own son. He pretty much is our son,"

"I think it's amazing how much you both raised Nikki. I know it's made me realize how lucky I am to have my mom and dad,' Sammi said, smiling with sad eyes. Nona patted Sammi on the arm, leaving her cup in the sink right on time for Nikki and Tom to enter the kitchen. "Nikki, perfect timing. I was just about to take Sammi to the living room, and show her some of your baby photos," Sammi shot wide with a grin at Nikki, seeing his frown of embarrassment.

"Uh, I don't think Sammi wants to see any old photos of me," Nikki objected, sliding his arm behind Sammi's back, escorting her out of the kitchen. Sammi turned on her heels, stopping Nikki with a hand on his chest.

"Oh no, on the contrary, Sammi would love to see old photos of you," Sammi said, smiling at Nona. "Come on, a few photos of baby Nikki. Please?" Sammi asked with puppy dog eyes to Nikki.

Nikki huffed out. "Fine, but I'm showing them. Don't want you pulling the ones I hate out of thin air," Nikki told Nona, guiding Sammi out of the kitchen. Tom smiled at the two, kissing Nona on the cheek.

"Does she get the grandmother's approval?" asked Tom, starting to set up the dishwasher.

"I think she does. I can already see a difference in Nik," said Nona.

Nikki and Sammi walked into the cozy living room, freshly vacuumed carpet and Santa Claus statues placed randomly. Sammi sat down on a soft brown loveseat, taking off her heavy boots, glancing at the many framed photos scattered around. The fireplace began losing its flame, Nikki chucking in another log to keep the warmth going, shuffling the burning pieces with the fire iron.

"Oh my god, look at you!" Sammi exclaimed, seeing a yearbook photo right on the fire mantle. Nikki appeared around seven years old in the picture, giving a tiny smile to the camera in his best attire. His hair looked like it was ready for the military, a short blondish square buzz cut that showed Nikki's big forehead. Nikki withheld a groan, wanting to chuck the photo in the fire. "Aww, you're so cute! Nice hair cut by the way," Sammi teased, poking Nikki with her elbow.

"You can thank Tom for that. I hated when my hair looked like that, and it looked like that for years," walking down the mantle to show more photos of young Nikki (or Frank).

"But why? It looks adorable on you," Sammi said in a mocking tone, smiling at Nikki. Nikki pushed up his black hair away from his face, facing Sammi to show his bare forehead. Sammi's loud laugh escaped her lips, finding Nikki's embarrassment amusing to her. Nikki glared right at Sammi, cocking his head to one side. "Does this answer your question? I have a big ass head if you haven't already noticed," said Nikki. Sammi balanced on tippy-toes, kissing Nikki right in the middle of his forehead, then a kiss on the lips. Nikki blushed, dropping his hair, tickling Sammi's face.

"I like your big head. It adds character even though we all know you have plenty of that," Sammi said, stepping away to continue the galley of Nikki. Sammi could see Deana in some of them, looking like a normal mother with her parents by her side.

"Yeah yeah. Keep complimenting me, and maybe I'll upgrade your Christmas gifts," said Nikki, rolling up his sweater's sleeves. Sammi smirked and raised an eye, strolling her way right to Nikki, placing her chin on his chest.

"Well, I like your big head. And I love your big rough hands. And I especially love your big hard-"

"Nona! Tom!" Nikki shouted, hugging Sammi around her shoulders as he smiled at his grandparents like a little boy almost getting caught in mischief. Sammi hugged Nikki, trying not to turn crimson red from the thought Tom and Nona heard her, smiling at the two. "We were just talking about going sledding tomorrow,"

"Tomorrow is perfect for sledding. You can show Sammi the hill you and I would always go to when you were young," Tom said, relaxing on the floral velour recliner.

"That sounds like a great idea, but it's getting late and we need to tell you two about the room situation," Nona addressed, shifting her eyes Nikki and Sammi, pushing up her glasses. Nikki scrunched his eyebrows at Nona, Sammi staying silent. "Now you two aren't married and will be sleeping under our roof. So Nikki you'll be in your old room upstairs, and Sammi in our guest bedroom down here," Nona said, resting her hands on her hips.

"Oh come on, Nona. We aren't going to mess around, we're adults, not teenagers," Nikki objected, pursing his lips out.

"It's alright, Nikki. This is your grandparent's house and they have rules, so we have to follow them. That's just the way it is," Sammi reassured Nona, patting Nikki on the chest. Nikki scoffed, shrugging his shoulder as he let his arm fall from Sammi's frame.

"It's settled then. Sammi, come with me to the room. Nikki, be a gentleman and bring in Sammi's suitcases," Nona said, looping her arm around Sammis and pulling her into the hallway, smiling at Nikki. Nikki only huffed, looking at Tom raise his hands as if he was clueless, enjoying every second of the family.

*

The guest bedroom was small, reminding Sammi of her bedroom in her first apartment. The double bed was placed against the wall, a white iron bed frame that looked as old as the house. An oak armoire facing the door, where Sammi had her suitcase hidden away, stood in the corner. Sammi was already beginning to fall into a deep sleep, the moonlight cascading against her skin from the small window. A soft creak sound slowly made Sammi wake up, barely opening in her eyes. Then a male body jumped on the bed, hiding under the cover. Before Sammi could make a sound, Nikki covered her mouth, quietly laughing at her surprised face.

"What the fuck, Nikki?!" Sammi whispered, feeling Nikki wrap his arms around her waist.

"What? I got lonely up in my room. I missed having a warm body next to me. I haven't had one since Vegas," Nikki whispered, hiding his face in the nape of Sammi's neck, leaving tiny pecks.

"Nik, I don't want to get in trouble with your grandma. We're not married, remember?" Sammi reminded Nikki, bringing his face back to her line of vision.

"And whose fault is that huh? I did ask, remember?" Nikki asked, mocking Sammi's tone, kissing her on the lips. Sammi chuckled at Nikki, feeling her cheeks turn pink. "You have to admit it's fun sneaking in like this?"

"Whatever. You can stay, but make sure you wake up early to go back to your room," Sammi said, cuddling deeper into Nikki's chested, smelling his cologne on his long sleeve sleep shirt.

"Yes, dear," Nikki said, relaxing for some sleep.

December 25th, 1985

Christmas morning

"Okay, we got one last present under the tree! Who's the lucky winner?" Tom announced to the small group, all wearing their pajamas still. Nona in her recliner, while Nikki and Sammi sat on the floor by her. Everyone had been given an equal amount of gifts, five from each person with the added 'Nikki  and  Sammi' to Nona and Tom. Tom grabbed the small red metallic present, reading the name tag from arm's length. "To: Sammi, From: Nikki. Merry Christmas, Princess," Tom readout, shuffling through the torn gift wrapping, passing the box to Sammi. Sammi scowled quizzically at Nikki, ripping the pretty wrapping without a care of how lovely it looked. A thin black velvet box was revealed, making Sammi question more. Nikki only gave a smile, feeling prideful at what he got her. Once opening, Sammi gasped as she saw the necklace. A beautiful black heart pendant on a thin silver chain with tiny red rubies outlining the heart. The stone was custom made to be in the shape it was; Sammi carefully pulling out the necklace to hold for everyone to see. Nona was fast to recognize the stone, glancing at the necklace Nikki was wearing.

"That's cute. You two will be matching," Nona said, smiling proudly at Nikki.

"Do you like it?" Nikki asked, delicately taking the necklace from Sammi, clamping it around her neck.

"Yes! It's so pretty!" Sammi gleamed, kissing Nikki on the cheek and hugging him tightly.

"Now you'll also have powerful protection," Nikki said. "Merry Christmas,"

"Thank you," Sammi smiled, touching the necklace as she noticed Nona and Tom looking lovingly at the pair.

"Well if that's all for gifts, I'm going to start breakfast! Hope everyone is ready for pancakes!" Nona announced, carefully getting up from the recliner. Tom immediately helped at her side, taking hold of one arm. Nikki noticed the slowness of his grandmother but knew she wouldn't have admitted to anything.

"And don't worry Sammi, I'm helping out this time," Tom said as the old couple left to make breakfast.

"Are you loving Christmas so far?" Sammi asked Nikki.

"Yeah I can honestly say this has been the best Christmas I've had. I'm happy you're here to celebrate it with us," Nikki said, kissing Sammi on the lips and holding her hand.

"Of course. Maybe next year, Nona and Tom can come down to L.A for a 'warm' Christmas. Have them see your growing goth castle," Sammi suggested.

"I would love that," Nikki smiled, sighing out loud with contentedness, bringing Sammi into his chest as they watched the snowfall from the window. Everything felt perfect.  

[songsofloretto]

Kieran gave me this earlier. I like writing for Kieran. He's a nasty bastard trying to turn his life around which makes him multi-faceted but as a character giving direction he's easy to 'feel'. Kieran never does third person perspective. His stories are always first person and written like a commentary.

Kieran, Nicky, Rory and Matthew

Sainsbury's, May 2021

"Uncle Kieran can I have these water pistols?"

It's been 30 years since I last took a child grocery shopping. It was bad enough in the 1980s with the kids wanting the sweets at the end of the checkout and all that. Fast forward to the 21st century and the problem has absolutely mushroomed, along with the size of supermarkets in general. Before I went to prison supermarkets only sold food. These days they sell everything from sun-dried tomatoes to fecking funeral plans. Nothing is sacred from these corporate giants. There are whole sections devoted to toys so there's no avoiding the inevitable pleas from children presented with their every wildest dream every time you call in for a pint of milk. Our Matthew's grandson is no different. The little lad is only four years old and to him this toy section is like every Christmas morning he's ever dreamed of all rolled in to one.

"Eh?" I say.

Rory lifts a box of four water pistols from the shelf and almost topples over under the weight of them. I grab it quick and steady him before he smacks his head off the corner of a shelf.

"Woah," I say to him, "steady on, our kid."

"I want these water pistols," Rory says emphatically, "there's four altogether. You, me, Uncle Nicky and Grandad can all play with them in the garden."

I look at the box. The pistols are nothing special. I've seen more power in a carrot. But the kid is right. It's a boiling hot day and perhaps an hour in the garden shooting each other up is exactly what this fecked up family needs to bond.

And who can say no to little Rory, who hasn't seen his daddy in over a year. Deaglan has been stuck in New York over this bloody pandemic, unable to get home to his son, missing out on all the drama we have going on here. The kid, innocently caught in the middle of it all, deserves a little joy in his life. I take a pistol out of the box and work my finger over the trigger, pretending to shoot, while Rory laughs and crouches down low.

"Aye you can have them," I tell him, and ruffle his hair with my fingers.

Right on cue the ever uptight Nicky slides up to us, almost falling over himself in his desperation to spoil any fun. He's swaggering about in his police uniform with a stick up his arse as usual. No tie or epaulettes but you can still tell he's an off-duty police officer. The cunt.

"I don't think so," he says rather efficiently as he plucks the box and the pistols out of my hands.

"What the f...Nicky!" I say, and pull the box back from him, "what's wrong with you?"

"I don't think it's appropriate for children to play with guns," Nicky says matter-of-factly.

"Aww!" Rory whines, "please, Uncle Nicky!"

His face creases and I can't bear to see him look sad. I know from experience that arguing with Nicky isn't easy. He's a jumped-up, self-important and arrogant little prick. In fact he's just like me when I was his age. It amuses me somewhat. I know that he'll get wound up like a clock if I challenge his decision - and I'm really trying to make friends with him, honest - but I've got to try and change his mind, for the little lad's sake.

"Well they're only water pistols," I say with a little shrug, "not gonna do much damage with them, eh, Nick auld fella?"

Nicky pulls a straight-laced expression and looks down his nose at me like a seasoned bloodhound would look at a yapping pup. He thinks I'm scum, I realise as we face each other off. He'll always look down on me like this, because in his bright, British eyes I'll always represent the dirty side of Ireland. I feel the vein on my temple flicker. I have to take a deep breath to keep my cool.

"It's not about any potential risk of damage," Nicky breaks the tension between us with a belittling little sniff, "it's about the psychology. Teaching children that guns are good fun and can't hurt anyone is a slippery slip. Before we know it he'll be twelve years old and shooting up his gym class."

"Fuck off Nicky, this is England, not America," I try to laugh off his point but he just keeps staring.

"And I don't think you, of all people, Kieran O'Driscoll, are in any position at all to be encouraging my nephew to take an interest in firearms," Nicky looks down his nose at me again.

I've been trying hard to handle his snooty arrogance for weeks. I really have. But something inside me snaps.

"Why?" I ask, squaring up to him, "because I was in the IRA? Is that it?"

I don't know what I'm doing. I'm 79 years old. Nicky is 45. I haven't got a chance against him in a fight, especially not with all his police training, but it's my pride that pushes me on. I have to stand up for myself, be a man about it. Teach this little arsehole a lesson.

"Yes," Nicky nods his head, "because you dealt firearms for terrorist organisation. And I don't want you playing with any sort of gun, imitation or otherwise, in front of my brother's son."

Deaglan is Nicky's own twin brother. They've never met. They were seperated at birth. Deaglan stayed in Ireland with Matthew, Nicky went to England with Kate. And now he fancies himself as the big Englishman, the creme de la creme of Britishness, superior above each and all other nationalities. And he spent his whole life loathing the Irish for putting his mother in a wheelchair. She was was a British soldier, victim of an IRA bomb, Newry police station, 1975. Sad story.

It was a terrible shock to poor Nicholas Jamie Hawley when he discovered that his father was not, as his mother always told him, a dead British soldier who died for his country in a halo of bullets. His father Matthew is in fact a proud Ulsterman who is very much alive and even did time for murder. Nicky's brain must have exploded inside his skull when it tried to digest this information. When he realised that half of him bled for Ireland it nearly knocked him sick.

But he had to get used to the idea because this pandemic threw us all together under the same roof, forcing us to learn to love and live with each other. And so here we are, factions of a long-estranged family trying to find common ground, and about to start fighting over water pistols in Sainsbury's.

"You'll never forgive me for being ex-IRA, will you?" I ask him.

"Never," Nicky lifts his chin, "once a terrorist, always a terrorist in my book."

"I did my time, Nicholas," I tell him, "27 years in a hell-hole of a prison. Oh Lord I suffered. And I'm deeply sorry for my transgressions as a younger man."

"Sorry will never be enough," Nicky whispers, "what your sort did to my mother..."

I close my eyes. I don't like think of it. And all over some water pistols to make the little lad happy!

The Voice of Reason enters stage left. Here is Matthew O'Driscoll, everyone's favourite peace-keeping fence-sitter. He spent an age parking the car and has only just joined us. He's as Irish as I am but everyone loves him, even Nicky, because...well because he's Matthew. Need I say more?

Matthew is astute. He studies the body language between me and his long-lost son and folds his arms, awaiting explanation.

"What's going on?" he asks.

"The wee bairn wanted a few water pistols to play with," I said, "and PC Gobshite over here has got an issue with it."

Matthew looks at Nicky who blushes a little as if he suddenly feels rather foolish.

"I didn't think it was ok," he says. His mouth is suddenly dry and he swallows, "to promote guns to a child. I'm in Loco Parentis for Rory. Deaglan has trusted me to look after him. I don't want to fuck it up and send the kid back to his dad thinking guns are ok. Because they're not. What would Deaglan think of me?"

He gives Matthew a slow look. Matthew nods his head. He is trying to understand Nicky's perspective. The man is nervous about all this family stuff. He's still reeling from the shock of discovering he has a family he never knew, that the family is Irish, that there is a man out there in the world who shares his face. Appearance and reputation is key right now. Nicky has never been a parent and suddenly, thanks to the pandemic, he's stepping in to care for his twin brother's son. He wants to do a good job. Of course he does.

It's interesting that Nicky never gives Matthew any stick about being Irish. Let's not forget that Matthew did prison time too. In 1994 he shot his own best mate in the head to stop the IRA from kidnapping and torturing him. We've never spoken about the fact it was me who ordered Brophy's kidnapping in the first place. If I'd have got my hands on Donnachadh Brophy all those years I'd have cut his balls off, fried them in Crisp N Dry oil, added little salt and pepper to taste and made the cunt eat them. But not now. I've mellowed out now. I'm not like that any more. I wouldn't hurt a hair on Brophy's head if he were alive today. And I don't deal in guns. Except water pistols because...well they're water pistols for feck's sake.

"You mean you've taken offence to Kieran handling a gun because he's Irish, is it that it?" Matthew asks.

"Not because he's Irish, per se," Nicky says, "but because of...it's because he has previous."

Matthew nods. The simple action brings calm to the situation. Nicky is feeling heard. He relaxes a little.

"I know you still suffer the fear of the IRA," Matthew says to him softly, "I know as a kid they haunted your dreams. You grew up thinking you had to protect your Mammy from them. But it's all in the past, Nicky. Wether we like it or not we're all together now and there are things we have to forgive each other for if we're going to survive this virus. And survive as a family. Because that's all any of us ever longed for, isn't it? It's time to let go, son."

Matthew takes the pistol from Nicky's grip. The police officer tightens but then releases his hold, surrendering control to the father he never knew he had, and letting go of the toy gun. It's very poignant, metaphorical moment. Makes the man in me uncomfortable so I try to inject some humour to make it bearable.

"Fecking hell," I scoff, "who do you think you are Matty eh? A walking example of the Good Friday Agreement?"

Matthew doesn't take his eyes from Nicky's face. A silent agreement is passing between them.

"Shut up, Ki," Matthew says without looking at me, "it's all right, Nicky. We're going to take these pistols home, fill them up with water and have a big old laugh together. Three generations shooting cold water at each other. And it will be safe, it will be ok. Because it's what families do together all the time."

"Ok," Nicky starts scratching at his arms in that way he has when needs to self-soothe with a wash, "we'll have a water fight. Together. But I'll need to get a shower first."

"If it makes you feel better," Matthew nodded.

He understands Nicky's need to be clean better than I do. I've never known a man so obsessed with washing his skin, changing his clothes, marinating in aftershave because unfamiliar smells upset him. As soon as you walk into the house we all share his first question is 'have you washed your hands?' He won't let you touch anything until you wash your own hands at the kitchen sink. Which by the way is a Belfast model. That little detail is lost on Nicky. It brings me a private sort of amusement.

Nicky's scratching intensifies. We'll have to hurry up with the shopping now because he has it in his head that he needs a wash and a preen. If he doesn't get to a shower soon he'll start getting all upset with himself. There's no time to argue now.

Matthew hands the pistol to the four-year-old whose innocence is responsible for bringing us all together. And then we all walk on, four abreast, to find the pint of milk we all came in looking for in the first place.

[bvidzsoo]

War in Love (Part 2)

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, violence and war

 Pairing: Kim Junmyeon x female reader

 Word count: 10, 815

 Summary:    After Commander Kim’s return to Busan, things seem to change. He doesn’t change his attitude towards you, but you start feeling things you weren’t supposed to, he makes your heart beat quicken. But there is war and a group of resistance appears and it just so happens you are part of it. What will happen between you and the Commander?

 A/N: First of all, I’M BACK AND IT FEELS AMAZING! Secondly, yeah I used the same moodboard because I think it fits this part too and the summary isn’t brilliant but what I have written is, hehe, so please read it and give me that feedback all authors love! Enjoy it now! <3

     The second the Commander left, the city turned upside down. Riots broke out and violent fights lead civilians and soldiers to the Hospital, where I was required to treat them. I felt happy hearing the Commander was gone, thinking the Southern army would do something about it, attack his troops and chase them away but apparently a document was written that for as long as the North is at power, they shall not attack each other and the two armies shall work together to keep the peace inside the city. I was outraged when I learned about this but being a nurse, and a woman, I couldn’t do anything about it, only watch as we were being destroyed further.

It was Saturday, a rather chilly day, as the wind blew harshly, one more day until the Commander’s return. I wasn’t counting the days, because I really have no reason to do so, I hate him, but his actions left me confused. What did he want? What did that kiss mean? I wanted him out of my life as quickly as possible but for that I needed him back to sort things out with him. 

I sighed as I walked down the isles in the market, pulling my scarf around my neck and mouth tighter to keep the cold away. People were buzzing around me, sellers shouting to gain the attention of the possible customers. Irene gave specific orders that we needed lettuce, tomatoes, chilly pepper and some apples. It was getting harder to find food as the North was taking it all.

Stopping in front of a cart with various vegetables, I leaned down to inspect them. They had to be clean and perfect or else Irene would send me back after shouting at me for wanting to poison us. Not true, but we don’t question Irene, not when she’s the leader in the house.

“I’d like that lettuce” I spoke up as I pointed my hand towards a healthy looking lettuce. The old man nodded wordlessly as he wrapped it in some newspaper then handed it to me. I gave him the money before placing the lettuce inside my little shopping basket. With a sigh, I turned around and started walking down the isles again, hopeful that there were still flowers growing in gardens. But winter was approaching quickly, killing every seed and flower that was still holding on. Just like the North was doing the same to us. Shaking my head, to get rid of those thoughts, I turned to leave the market when shouting caught my attention. Closer to the center of the market people started gathering around, curious, as there were loud shouts. I shook my head, probably someone said something rude and got in a fight. But before I could take my next step, an all too familiar scream rang through the market as the crowd went quiet. Eyebrows furrowed, I turned around abruptly and pulled the skirt of my dress up to be able to rush towards the crowd. Basket falling from my hands, I started pushing the people away from my way as I quietly apologized, heart beating fast. Pushing past the mass of people I was greeted with the sight of my sister being held by two Northern soldiers as one was pointing a gun at her head. I gasped, fear creeping through my bones. No, I can’t watch this, they can’t kill Yeri too! I won’t let my sister die!

“No!” I screamed loudly, taking off as I ran towards them, “Don’t you dare hurt her!”

But before I could reach my sister, arms wrapped around me and abruptly hauled me back.

“One more step and you’ll have a bullet in your head” The voice behind me said sternly as I felt something cold pressing against my temple.

“This lady was caught stealing food from an old lady” The soldier pointing his gun at Yeri spoke up loudly, eyes wandering around the market before they fell on me, “The punishment is death”

I saw Yeri’s lips tremble as she looked at me terrified, asking for help wordlessly.

“I did it” I spoke up, my whole body shaking with fear for my little sister, “I was the one who sent her to steal. She shouldn’t be punished for it” 

“No, what are you saying!” Yeri snapped with her voice trembling as she looked around panicked. I followed her gaze only to find her looking at Baekhyun who’s eyes were teary and he looked close to fainting. I should have known it was his fault, curse that Byun boy, Irene was right all this time.

“And why shouldn’t she be punished for what she did?” The soldier raised a mocking eyebrow, gun still pointed at my sister.

“She’s just a naive and stupid girl who didn’t know better. Punish me instead” I said after gulping and taking a deep breath.

“She was caught doing it” The soldier shrugged, the mocking clear on his face. My blood started boiling as the fear slowly disappeared and all I could feel was rage towards that soldier, Byun Baekhyun, my sister and the cursed Northerns in our city.

“You could be lying to save this--bloody thief. Is she someone important to you perhaps…” The soldier continued, eyebrows furrowed as a small smile appeared on his lips.

“I said, punish me instead” I spat, anger radiating from my body as I started wriggling around in the hold the soldier had on me, “What are you waiting for, huh? Shoot me already, if you are a big boy, Northern soldier might I add, do it. Pull the bloody trigger” 

I knew I was playing with fire but my hatred for them was too much for me to be able to control, words coming out of my mouth before I could think twice. The Northern soldier’s mouth twitched as he marched up to me, two guns pointed at me now as he glared at me harshly.

“I would shoot your brains out right now--”

“What’s holding you back, huh?” I asked with a mocking chuckle and watched as he looked at the soldier holding me before giving a nod to the other two holding Yeri.

“We are taking this...woman, to jail for going against the law and insulting the soldiers of the Northern army. She’ll get the punishment she deserves--Everyone get lost now!” People jumped when the soldier started shouting, quickly scattering away as they were afraid of them. The soldiers let Yeri go and she fell to the dirty ground as they pushed her harshly.

“Y/N--Y/N!” She yelped, standing up quickly as the soldier holding me started dragging me away.

“No!” I snapped, turning my head towards her as I fought against the grip on my arms, “Go home and don’t step out until I return!”

“But--”

“Yeri!” My shout made her jump as I turned around and elbowed the soldier holding me for pushing me forward harshly.

“Once the Commander returns, you will be dead” The soldier in front of me said, mouth pulled in a smirk. Commander Kim?

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that” I said with a chuckle as he threw me a warning glance as they continued on dragging me to the residence of the Northern army which was two streets away from the Southern one. They wanted to keep close tabs on them and for sure weren’t passing up on an opportunity like this one. 

~~~

   I can’t say the soldiers were soft, because I really wasn’t expecting them to be like that, but they could have treated a woman a bit softer. They dragged me through the headquarter before going through the back garden and then down to the jail. It was underground and it was dark. The air was bad and it smelled like rotten flowers. I was thrown into the first cell, the iron door snapped shut loudly. I hissed as my knees hurt from the fall, I was unable to prepare myself for it as it came so suddenly.

“Look at that” I heard the same mocking voice from the market, “Already on your knees, darling?”

My face went red at the insinuation and I jumped to my feet, turning around to face the soldier. He had dark hair and sharp teeth as he grinned at me, his eyes shamelessly going up and down on my body.

“I never tortured a woman before, there was no need for it, but now--I can’t wait to lay my hands on you” He bit his lower lip before slowly turning around and walking away, leaving my heart beating quickly. 

“Go to hell!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, looking around helplessly. They can’t do anything to me, right? What did they say? Until Commander Kim returns they can’t touch me? The Commander wouldn’t let them hurt me, right? But what if--what if he’s like that too? He was mocking me too with that kiss on my cheek. He’s the same like these men. 

I started shivering at all the scenarios forming in my head and tears were close to falling when suddenly there was a commotion outside my cell. I couldn’t see what was happening as I ran to the iron bars, but hearing it was enough for me to know.

“Get out of my way!” The usually calm and quiet voice, snapped so loudly I was surprised.

“I’m sorry, little Miss, but we can’t let you in here. The Commander is the only one that can grant you a permission...and he’s not here” The soldier on duty spoke with a monotone voice. I leaned my head against the bars, sighing. They won’t let Irene see me, why did she even bother? I told Yeri to go home and don’t leave the house, Irene should have done the same. What have I dragged us into?

“Listen to me, little soldier, tell your Commander I don’t give a damn about his permission. You have my sister in that cell behind you, without a clear reason, and if you don’t want to end up in the cell of the Southern’s jail, I propose you let me pass” There was a deadly pause as Irene suddenly chuckled, her voice melodic, “I bet they can’t wait to catch one of you, Northerns”

There was another pause of silence before keys rustled and footsteps hit my ears. Irene was in front of me in seconds, her eyes big as she gasped.

“I can’t let you in though” The soldier muttered quietly as he appeared beside Irene, looking around cautiously. He’s also risking his job.

“Thank you” I looked at him before Irene could speak up and he only nodded, stepping back to give us some privacy.

“Oh my God” Irene muttered as she extended her hands and took my face in them. I smiled at her, knowing it wasn’t the time to show fear or weakness. Poor Irene, she has to worry about us all the time.

“I’m so sorry, Irene, I swear I didn’t mean to--”

“Yeri told me already” Irene’s jaw went stiff as she looked away for a second, “It’s all that boy’s fault, Y/N”

“I know” I muttered quietly, taking her hands off my face as I held them in mine, “I saw”

“I told you he was bad! But the two of you never listen to me, Y/N! What am I supposed to do now? Huh, you stupid girl! Both of you, you keep acting like a little girl and always going against the North and now Yeri! I can’t keep up with you anymore! I’m worried every time you step out the house that you might be doing something dangerous--” Irene’s voice died out as tears welled up in her eyes, I squeezed her hands for support.

“I promise, I will get out of here untouched” I whispered, showing her a smile full of hope.

“How?” She asked tiredly, leaning her head against the bars.

“I know someone who might help me, just trust me once again, Irene” I smiled, leaning my forehead against the bars as well, “I will be home by dawn”

“Yeri is never again leaving the house alone, do you hear me? That’s a rule from today on” She said sternly and I rolled my eyes.

“She will hate us if we do that to her” I muttered, always on Yeri’s side. She’s my little sister, I have a weak spot for her.

“She won’t, she was the one who proposed and I’m glad she is clever enough to know the consequences” Irene pulled away, and took a step back. She glanced back and saw that the soldier wasn’t looking our way so she grabbed something from underneath her skirt.

“Take it, who knows until when you’ll stay here” I smiled and took the small bread and hid it as I nodded at my sister.

“You better be home by dawn, you hear me!” She pointed her forefinger at me in a warning manner and I chuckled.

“See you tomorrow, sister” I smiled at her as the soldier went to take Irene’s forearm but she gave him a glare and he decided against it. I smiled as I watched her march away with anger, not looking back for even a second. The soldier looked back at me with a small grin.

“Are all of you like this?” 

“Excuse me?” I asked confused, eyebrows raised.

“Commander Kim told me about you, I see your sister is like that too” He chuckled and my eyebrows furrowed at his words.

“Commander Kim spoke to you about me?” I asked quietly, watching the happy soldier.

“He’s my closest friend, we tell each other everything” He chuckled and I watched him surprised.

“Everything?” I asked with a small smile but the soldier only shook his head with a small grin.

“You’ll have to ask him, if you want to know something, I’m afraid” And with that he turned around and walked back to his previous place, where Irene found him. I hummed and leaned my head against the cold bars as I started thinking.

What did Commander Kim tell him then? He spoke of me, why? We don’t even know each other. My only concern right now should be about how to get out of here.

~~~

   As the hours passed I felt colder and colder and more frightened by the shadows the dimly lit hallway was creating. The soldier left me all alone around two hours ago and I had to stay on guard if that disgusting man from the market would return. I didn’t forget to eat the bread Irene brought for me, having nothing to do I found myself hungrier than usually. Humming quietly to myself and walking around in circles, I heard the big iron doors open and jumped. Was it the soldier coming back? There was only one man approaching, judging by the footsteps and the light was becoming brighter. I backed away from the door just in case it was that disgusting man, to be prepared to attack but it wasn’t him. 

My heart involuntary skipped a beat as I saw the man standing on the other side of the iron bars, lamp held high in his right hand and back straight as always.

“Well, well...look at that” His voice didn’t change, no, it was full of amusement right now and his grin didn’t fail to hide it either. There was a sudden flame that travelled through my body and I straightened up, eyebrows furrowed and eyes defying.

“Commander Kim” I greeted him with a cold voice, “I thought you were supposed to return only tomorrow”

“Ah” He chuckled, averting his eyes to the dirty ground before looking back with a playful spark in them, “So you have been counting the days, Miss Bae”

“I was most definitely not counting the days, at least not for your return” I let a small smirk graze my lips as The Commander raised a perfect eyebrow.

“Then why so?” His voice held curiosity as he let his eyes travel over my body. For a reason, I wasn’t as bothered by it like with the other disgusting soldier.

“I was counting the days to keep my spirits up thanks to your absence, and to know for how much longer we’d be free of your unpleasant presence here” I spoke loudly and sternly. His face fell for a second but he masked it quickly with a cold face. He nodded and grabbed for something from his pocket.

“Very well, Miss” He nodded to himself as he opened the iron gate with the keys, “I came with good intentions but your attitude is ruining my good mood”

“I bet you must be tired after traveling all day, why bother coming here?” I asked curiously, watching closely as The Commander walked further inside the cell, looking around as if he was searching for something.

“I had to see it with my eyes…” He chuckled as he shook his head, “I knew you were reckless but I never imagined you’d land yourself in our jail”

“I had to do what I had to do” I shrugged and looked The Commander in the eyes as he stopped in front of me at an arm’s length distance.

“I heard about what your sister did in the market--”

“Don’t bring Yeri into this!” I snapped, my heart quickening out of fear, “I did it, everyone else is just--”

“Lying?” The Commander interrupted me with a sigh, “I think that’s a bit hard to believe”

“Who are you going to believe, Commander Kim?” I raised my eyebrows, taking a small step toward him the gap between us still big though, “Them...or me?”

His eyes searched my face as I refused to break the eye contact. No one will hurt Yeri, I will protect her with my life if needed.

“I must believe myself, Miss Bae, as I do not wish to see you here for any longer” The Commander said after a long pause and a cough.

“What does that mean?” I asked confused, watching as his lips pulled into a cheeky smile.

“It means you are free to go home--” My face lit up hearing his words but I knew there was a catch, he wouldn’t let me go just like that, “But I’m afraid you’ll have to go on a walk with me”

“Go on a walk with you?” I asked with my eyebrows raised, “I refuse to be seen with a Northern soldier”

“I thought after a week of my absence you’d forget about your prejudice of us” The Commander chuckled and I sent him a harsh glare.

“I will never forget that, Commander Kim, so don’t even bother thinking of that again” I said sternly and the man standing before me only hummed.

“Well then, you must go on a walk with me, Miss Bae” A smile appeared on his lips as I watched him warily.

“If I accept to go...will you let me out and forget about this incident?” I asked quietly as The Commander was quick to nod.

“Yes, I will” I hummed after looking at his serious expression. He was being honest. I guess going on a walk with him won’t be that bad, I’ll get to ask about his actions before he left. 

“Goodnight then” I bowed my head a bit before hurrying away as both doors were left open. Leaving the underground jail, I saw that there was no one guarding the main gate, which is weird, so I quickly fled the place walking home as fast as I could. Dawn was approaching quickly and I made a promise to Irene I was not gonna break.

I decided to head home following the path on the beach as the ocean always did wonders and calmed my nerves, released my anxiety. These times were trying us, breaking the weak ones and scratching the strong ones. I’m afraid we will run out of ingredients if the Northern soldiers keep coming to our Bakery for food and on top of that, they are robbing us of all our food. The market isn’t as full as before, those who used to have now they rather keep it to themselves. If it wasn’t Mrs. Young, we’d be on the roads right now. What a scary place they are in times of war. 

I was surprised to see light coming from the kitchen window. Weren’t the girls sleeping already? Or did they leave the light on for me? It is a habit of ours, after all, to leave the light on if one hasn’t returned home before everyone goes to bed. Entering the house quietly, I sighed contently as I pulled my shoes off and let myself enjoy the warmness of the house. That cell was indeed cold and the breeze didn’t help in warming up. I headed to the kitchen with the intention off blowing out the candle light but I jumped at the figure sitting at the table.

“Y/N!” Yeri exclaimed quietly, probably to not wake Irene.

“What are you doing still up, silly girl?” I chuckled as Yeri ran into me, engulfing me in a tight hug. I caressed her head to my chest, as I’m the tallest of all the sisters, I tower over them.

“I was so worried and scared, Y/N” She whispered into my chest and I sighed as I let my chin rest on her head.

“I should give you a beating now, but I’m just glad I got you out of trouble” I muttered and Yeri quickly pulled away and looked me in the eyes.

“I’m very very sorry, I promise, I really do, I will never again see Baekhyun. If you say I can’t leave the house until I turn forty, I promise I won’t leave the house” Yeri spoke quickly, her hands squeezing mine.

“Let me guess...Irene told you that, didn’t she?” I asked with a chuckle and Yeri smiled finally, nodding her head.

“Well, I’m not Irene so how about...thirty?” I arched an eyebrow and Yeri chuckled as she nodded her head.

“Just don’t tell Irene” I giggled as I pulled her back into a hug.

“Why did you do it?” I asked quietly as Yeri only sighed.

“Baekhyun hasn’t eaten for two days...his grandmother is sick...I wanted to help him” Yeri whispered, eyes casted down as she pulled away and took a step back.

“Listen to me, Yeri” I placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it, “Tomorrow, while I’ll be at the Hospital, somewhere at noon, tell Irene I asked you to bring me some food. I will speak to Mrs. Young before heading there in the morning. You go there and take the food Mrs. Young gives you and you have twenty minutes to go to Baekhyun, give him the food and come back. Okay? Irene musn’t know or else I’ll be grounded for life, unlike you. Okay?”

A wide smile graced Yeri’s lips as she quickly nodded her head, giving me a tight hug, “You are the best Y/N! I’ll head to bed now”

“Yes, you better go and rest” I nodded and watched her run off quietly, headed upstairs. I went to take the lit candle with a sigh before I headed upstairs. Tomorrow will be a long day.

~~~

     Indeed it was a long day. Taking care of patients was never easy, rather tiring and draining. But it was my choice to be a nurse and seeing people heal and get better and better day by day always brought a smile on my face, made me happy that I helped them feel that way. I was saving people, and in times like these, it felt like a beacon of hope. 

My shift neared its end as I checked up on my last patient for today, an injured soldier. The one who I promised to save and bring his fiance to him.

“You are getting better and better day by day, Soldier Ahn” I said with a smile, putting the injection away.

“All thanks to you, Nurse Bae, I’m very grateful. I can’t wait to see my fiance” I chuckled as I looked at him.

“From those letters, she’s getting rather impatient as well...but at this rate, you’ll be able to go home in two weeks” I grabbed my tray and headed to the door.

“Thank you, Nurse” I bowed my head a bit before leaving the room. Walking down the hallway I greeted Nurse Kim and went into the supply room to place everything back to its place before I changed into my regular clothes. Just as I adjusted my skirt, there was a knock before Nurse Park poked her head inside.

“Your shift is over, right?” She asked, her voice quiet. I nodded as I pulled on my long coat.

“Yes, why?”

“There’s a Commander waiting for you at the entrance, he asked me to tell you” My eyebrows furrowed as I watched Miss Park, heart picking its pace up. Commander? Is it...no, it can’t be, right?

“I’ll use the back door so that I--”

“Y/N” Miss Park only ever uses your name when it’s something serious, “Don’t make him angry, he asked me to see you out and make sure you arrive in five minutes--we’ve got two minutes until he bursts in here himself and I know you won’t like that at all”

I looked up at the ceiling as I took a deep breath and slowly pushed it out, “Okay, you go do your job, I’ll go and see him”

“He said--”

“I don’t care what he said, Sooyoung, just go” I muttered as I brushed past her and quickly ascended the stairs, indeed seeing Commander Kim’s back turned towards me. I took a deep breath before approaching him.

“I heard you were asking for me” I said with a neutral expression as I watched a small smile appear on the Commander’s lips.

“Good evening, Miss Bae” He went to grab my hand but I quickly placed it behind my back as I straightened myself.

“What do you want?” I asked with eyebrows raised.

“Your shift is over, isn’t it?” He acted like nothing happened, the smile still plastered on his lips, irritating me to no end.

“It is, why?” I replied with an exasperated sigh and the Commander nodded his head.

“Let’s go then”

“Where?” I asked confused, watching him as he placed his cap back on.

“Home, of course” The Commander laughed as if I said something funny.

“You have no home here, so what are you--”

“Your home, Miss Bae” His expression tightened at my words, no smile, but he played it off as nothing.

“I can walk home on my own too, Commander” But as if he was deaf to my words, he went and opened the hospital door for me, standing there with another smile on his lips as he stared at me expectantly. I bit my lower lip as the cold breeze came inside and started walking, not wanting to make this longer than necessary.

Once we were walking down the street, the Commander walked close to me, looking around as the lampposts illuminated the dark streets.

“I don’t want to be seen with you, Commander, so if only you’d stop following me--” But it seemed like I was speaking to no one once again as the Commander chuckled before glancing at me.

“Since when are you someone that cares about others opinions? Anyways…” He cleared his throat and placed his hands in his pockets, “I was called to Pyongyang for some military services. My father also wished to congratulate me and wanted to hear an update about how things are here, but I know he just actually wanted to see me. He won’t admit it, but I know he worries about me and my brother. That’s why he probably won’t let him come here with me--”

“Why are you telling me that?” I asked with eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him.

“Why?” He sucked in a breath as he glanced at me, but didn’t answer. I huffed as I looked away from him and hurried my steps. He chuckled as he quickly caught up again, leaning a bit too close for my comfort.

“May I know why you were arrested while I was absent?” He asked with a cheeky grin and I rolled my eyes as I stopped walking and turned towards him.

“You still ask, as if you don’t know already” I snapped, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “I was caught while I instructed someone to steal for me, what a shame, isn’t it? I wasn’t having a good day…”

“Really?” The Commander smirked as I threw him a glare before taking off again. He continued walking by my side and it was quiet between us. We took a curb and arrived in the street my house was at. I bit my lip as I tried not thinking about the memory that’s been bugging me all this time. I thought I forgot about it already. I was supposed to! So then why did my heart start beating so fast?

“Why did you kiss me that night?” I finally blurted it out, feeling my cheeks heat up. Wait, am I seriously blushing? Oh my God, what is happening to me?!

“Oh” The Commander sounded surprised as he scratched his neck, “I mean--”

I cut him off as I abruptly turned towards him, “Don’t ever again touch me, did you hear me?”

“I’m not carrying any disease around with me--”

“I said” My eyes widened as I stared up in his eyes, “Don’t ever again touch me”

The Commander stared into my eyes as I grit my teeth together and he huffed quietly, “It was just a good luck kiss, a kiss between friends”

My mouth opened in a quiet scoff as my eyebrows rose. After a minute of the Commander watching me, an amused smile graced my lips, “Friends?”

I asked lightly and I saw as his eyes started sparkling but before he could say anything, I made sure to ruin his enthusiasm, finally letting my disgust and outrage show.

“I could never be friends with you, Commander Kim” I snapped, my eyes glaring up into his. I watched as his eyebrows furrowed and head tilted.

“You are a beast, killing innocent people, I will never be friends with someone like that” I declared clear and loud, coldness dripping from my voice. The Commander’s jaw suddenly tightened as the spark disappeared from his eyes and he leaned down a bit to be eye level with me.

“Beast? You think--I didn’t lose people?” His eyebrows rose as I opened my mouth, but he didn’t let me speak, “I lost my soldiers, my friends I grew up with, in that ambush your army dropped on us five months ago!” 

The friendly, calm and smiling Commander Kim was gone and now was standing in front of me someone I haven’t seen before. The Commander was always nice to me, no matter how rude and harsh I was to him, but now, there was fury in his eyes and his jaw was tensing more and more. I felt a shiver running down my spine at the darkening look in his eyes but I didn’t let it show, I didn’t take a step back like my instincts were telling me. I won’t show weakness to him.

“My brother was about to--” He gulped as if it was hard to say the word, “die. If my father wouldn’t have come in time, he--”

My heart clenched as the word died in his throat, because I know what he was saying. I understood the weight of his words because I almost lost Yeri. I understood the pain and fear felt just at the simple thought and I almost reached out a reassuring hand for him.

“So you have no right to tell me those words, because, you are beasts as well” He snapped and I glared back at him, gulping down my sympathy for him as I felt a fire burning in my chest. He’s making us the beasts now, huh?

“Are we really the beasts?” I raised an eyebrow as I stepped closer, with my back straight as I maintained eye contact with him, “Who started this bloody war? You! You started it and have the audacity to call us beasts? When all we did was defend ourselves! If only you weren’t so greedy for power, money--”

“Greedy?” The Commander’s voice rose as he stared at me with a mix of shock and anger, “My people are dying because of poverty. You shut us out when we needed you! You turned your backs on us, you the South, when we asked for help! If you would have helped us out when we asked for it, there would be no war right now. You started it by turning your backs to us”

I huffed, feeling offended but there was a small voice in my head asking me if this was true. We were told a different story, so who lied to us?

“So let me get this right, Commander Kim…” I pretended to think as the Commander’s eyebrows furrowed, “You are making us the bad guys now? Turning it around, lying, to be seen in a better light? Is that what you were told in Pyongyang to say when you return, Commander Kim? You want to make us feel guilty so that we give you everything before you destroy us all?!”

A smile appeared on the Commander’s lips, but it was far from being friendly. It looked malicious, and for the first time I felt afraid of the Commander. He was a commander after all, and he could do to me anything he wanted and no one would come to my rescue.

“Now, Miss Bae, your choice of words are rather offensive and I think you forgot you are speaking to a Commander, which might be my fault as I have gone easy on you. If you know what’s best for you, Miss Bae” The pause in his words, in his threat, made me shudder visibly, “I suggest you choose your next words carefully, unless you want to be arrested for assaulting a Commander verbally and then shot, for not respecting your higher ups. Until you fight for your country like a man, show me some respect!”

The fear went away the second his last sentence left his mouth. Until I fight like a man? Does he know what it means aiding all those hurt soldiers? Watch them hopelessly as I can’t do anything to save some? To stitch up what they have damaged? Does he know the weight of having to stay at home and make food and pray this would be over? It might not be enough to compare to holding a gun and killing the enemy, but it’s just as important as his job. The fire in my chest only fueled me to say more, my heart beating fast, knowing I was really testing my luck and the Commander’s patience and limits.

“If fighting like a man means getting rid of all the scum Northerns, I would gladly anytime hold a gun and--” The words died in my throat with a loud gasp and I was harshly pulled into the Commander’s body, his grip on my forearm so strong it almost brought tears in my eyes.

“Shut up until I’m asking nicely” The Commander’s growl was quiet as his body heat radiated onto me, but I heard his words perfect clear. I wasn’t gonna let him win this argument and my mouth spoke before my brain would give him permission to let the words slip through.

I rosed on my tip toes, leaning closer to the Commander, our lips closer than ever as I watched him in the eyes with the darkest glare I could produce, “The next time an attack occurs, Commander Kim, I hope you die. I hate you”

If my words hurt him, he didn’t show it. Another dark smirk graced his lips as his next words left his mouth, “If I die, this city burns down with me, Miss Bae”

My heart picked up its pace again as I harshly stepped back, pulling myself away from him, his words ringing in my head. The Commander turned around and stormed off as his hands formed into fists. I looked ahead in the dark, hands shaking and breath shaky as I felt light headed, his words constantly ringing in my head. I was on the verge of breaking down when I felt a gentle hand grip my arm. I jumped and squeaked as I turned around only to see Mrs. Young with a frown on her face.

“Mr-mrs Young?” I whispered confused as she just nodded and starting pulling me after her, “Did you...did you hear...that?”

She only nodded wordlessly and I took deep breaths to try and calm myself down but my eyebrows furrowed when we walked past my house. 

“Mrs. Young--” She shushed me as she lead me down our street to her house, quietly pulling me inside after her.

“Is everything okay--” I asked confused when she opened the basement door and I saw the light on and heard voices. She nudged me forward softly and I cautiously descended the stairs as Mrs. Young followed after me quietly. My eyes widened when I saw at least ten men in the basement, gathered around a table. The room went quiet as they stared at me curiously and I stared back at them confused.

“Nurse Bae Y/N is joining our resistance group” Mrs. Young affirmed loudly and I looked at her confused.

“I’m what?” I asked with wide eyes.

“From today on we will help the Southern army to get rid of all the Northerns from Busan at the command of the Colonel, you will report to me personally and I shall give the informations to him” Mrs. Young spoke loudly and clearly, back straight and eyes narrowed. It was like someone changed the old and nice lady who lived down the street by the beach. 

“First we shall speak of everyone’s role in this resistance” She placed a hand on my back and ushered me further inside, “Y/N is an important piece in this, she shall never be hurt. You will protect her at all costs all the time, but before that...let’s speak about our next step. A riot.”

~~~

     My mind felt hazy and chest hard. I couldn’t tell about the resistance anyone, not even Yeri or Irene. I was the chosen one, the one to help, and no one else was to know. If even a little word got out, we’d all be killed by the Northerns either way, so because of that we needed to be quiet and subtle. The meetings weren’t planned, they would be held at random times, in Mrs. Young’s basement. We’d be informed by an old men who sells apples daily while going from house to house. It was our way of communicating for now and since Minseok was part of it, we were never allowed to speak about it outside or anywhere given. It was easy to take my mind off of it when I was at work, but when I was at home I felt like a filthy liar for keeping it a secret from my sisters. We have sworn after we lost our mother as well that we will not keep secrets from each other, no matter how important or crucial they are. But I realized, by telling them, I would only place them in more danger than we already were.

For the past four days I haven’t seen nor heard from the Commander, it seemed like he finally understood my wishes. It felt weird to not have him breathing down my neck every second, but after that one week of his absence, it wasn’t that weird at all. I felt quite more at ease, if I ignored the pressing on my heart thanks to our harsh argument that night, but it was easy to pretend nothing happened. My spirits were lifted and my patients noticed it as well.

“What’s got you smiling for the past days, Nurse Bae?” Soldier Ahn asked while I checked his blood pressure.

“Oh” I chuckled as I shrugged and went to take the injection shot, “Nothing specific, I’m just in a good mood”

“Perhaps…” He grinned cheekily as I gave him the injection, “Could be because of your partner?”

“I have no partner, Soldier” I huffed as I placed my things on a tray and went to leave the room, “Don’t wonder about me though, I think you’ll be good to go in less than two weeks”

“Amazing news to hear, thank you Nurse Bae” I bowed my heat at the soldier before leaving his room and going to the supply room. Just as I was about to wash the tray and injection flask, shouting echoed down the hallway.

“Nurse Bae!” The voice got louder as it got closer. Alerted, I quickly exited the room only to find a nurse running towards me.

“Come quickly, we need all nurses” Eyes wide, I quickly took off after her as she lead the way to the entrance of the Hospital.

“What happened?” I asked panicked, almost running into a patient that was standing by the wall as she saw we were in a rush.

“There was a riot in the market!” Riot, in the market? Oh no, the resistance group already started it! Why was I not informed, what if Yeri or Irene--

“The Commander was also injured and--”

“What?” I exclaimed, eyes going wide as we finally arrived to the entrance. Soldiers and citizens were laying on stretchers, moans echoing in the hallway. Some looked badly injured some only scratched a bit, but there were at least twenty people in here. Before I could lose myself, I looked around, eyes searching for one person only. The Commander.

“Y/N!” I heard a masculine voice screaming for me and I turned around, to find Dr. Oh with his eyebrows furrowed leaning over a man, “I need your help, now!”

I quickly rushed to his side, just as Dr. Zhang rushed past me with Nurse Park by his side, and my eyes widened at the sight. The Commander was lying unconsciously on the stretcher with blood smeared everywhere on his uniform. 

“Come, quickly” Dr. Oh’s voice was breathy as he started pushing the stretcher towards the back door, where the operation room was, other two men helping him. I was rushing after them, heart beating fast as I watched the Commander’s bloody face. No, I wished for this. If he dies…”This city burns down with me”, no, he can’t die! My heart tightened at the thought and I slammed the doors closed as The Commander was placed on a bed.

“Come here” Dr. Oh pushed a white cloth into my hands as I stood opposite him, “Push it against his wound, I need to stitch up his forehead”

With shaking hands, I ripped his already damaged uniform open and gasped at the wound. His shoulder was all purple and bloody as I looked at it, “Dr., the bullet is still in, I need to take it out”

“Take it out then” Dr. Oh muttered as he carefully but quickly started stitching the Commander’s forehead. I took a deep breath as I took in hand what I needed to take the bullet out and tried to control my shaking hands. The bullet wasn’t in too deep so it was easier to take it out than most times, but my shaking hands made it seem difficult. Once it was out, I quickly cleaned it up with a wet cloth and poured some alcohol on it, disinfecting it. The Commander’s brows were pulled in a frown as if he was feeling everything. I stitched up the small wound as Dr. Oh went to inject some painkillers and a sedative.

“He’ll be fine but he lost a lot of blood, my best guess is he was first shot and then hit in the head…” Dr. Oh sighed as he looked at me, “He was brought here in time or else…”

I gulped loudly as I glanced back at the Commander, before straightening my back, “I’ll go now help the other nurses, they need me”

The Doctor just hummed as he washed his hands in the sink behind him but spoke up loudly, “Thank you for putting aside your prejudice and helping me”

I bowed my head before I rushed away, I felt no prejudice this time, only dread that the Commander could have died.

~~~

   The night was hard to get through, my mind didn’t let me sleep. All I could think about was the wellbeing of the Commander. When was he going to wake up? Was he going to even wake up? Dr. Oh said it was nothing too serious, but he lost a lot of blood. He needed to rest then, a lot, in order to recover fully. The next day I felt like a zombie, I had to be up early and working until night, and not sleeping all night did not help at all. 

It was noon and I was quiet as I checked up on an old lady that was at the market when the riot broke out. She broke her arm when she fell and had some wounds on her legs.

“When can I go home, Nurse?” She asked quietly as she gazed up at me.

“When your arm heals” I answered with a small bow before I walked to the next bed, but the doors of the salon opened and Nurse Park walked inside with a sour expression. I raised my eyebrows at her while I checked the temperature of a sleeping little boy. “Come here” She mouthed as she looked around the quiet salon. Most were sleeping while others reading. I walked up to Miss Park and raised my eyebrows at her.

“I’m asking you kindly with all of my heart,” She said with an annoyed whisper “go and change Commander Kim’s bandages”

“What” I asked confused, I wasn’t assigned to him, “Why?”

“Because he refuses to let any other nurse touch him and he’s been throwing tantrums all day long and I’m just--” Miss Park rubbed her temples as she looked back at me, “I’m tired of his bloody attitude, what’s he? Five? So I’m begging you, Y/N, just go and do it”

“But I--”

“No, you will go right now” She pointed an accusing finger at me as I sighed.

“Okay, I will go” I muttered and took the tray she pushed in my hands and took of towards the Commander’s room. Suddenly my heart started beating faster and my fingers twitched as I gripped the tray harder. Come on, Y/N, he’s just a patient and you have to check up on him. This is your job, Dr. Oh said so already, suck it up woman!

I knocked on the door quietly before entering it. The Commander was sitting on the edge of his bed and I made eye contact with him before quickly averting my eyes. He kept his eyes on me as I placed the tray on the bed and gulped. His torso was naked and I haven’t seen a man naked before, it was quite hard to not stare at his well sculpted body. He was looking ahead as I hesitantly reached for the bandage around his shoulder and wound. My eyebrows furrowed as I realized I was acting like a foolish little girl and cleared my throat as I started working. I undid the layers of bandage and once it was off, threw it away. I took some alcohol and cleaned the wound once again, The Commander didn’t even flinch, but his jaw was tightly set. I took the clean bandage and started rolling it around his wound, shoulders and lastly torso, to secure it. I felt my cheeks warm up when I had to lean closer to him, his body heat rather inviting. I stiffened when I accidentally brushed over his abdomen muscles with my fingertips. Once done, I quickly straightened up and took a step back, feeling like I could breathe again. The stitches on his forehead seemed okay so there was no need to check those more thoroughly so I picked up my tray and took two step to exit the room, before I abruptly stopped. My heart was beating like crazy and I bit my lower lip nervously.

“I’m sorry” My voice seemed too loud in the quiet room as I turned to face the Commander again, “For wishing for your death, I--I didn’t mean that, I really didn’t. It’s an awful thing to wish someone that and I clearly wasn’t thinking straight that night” 

I searched for his eyes but he refused to return the eye contact. I felt a pang in my heart as I quietly waited for a reaction from him.

“We both used harsh words that night, Nurse Bae” I expected his voice to be warm and friendly, like always, but it was cold, like mine when talking to him. I looked up to the ceiling before I abruptly turned around and left the room, slamming the door shut behind me. His cold response took me by surprise, I didn’t know how to react but I did know that I didn’t like it.

~~~

   The Commander refused to stay for longer in the Hospital so he was escorted back to the mansion he’s staying in and Nurse Park was assigned to visit him daily with Dr. Oh. It bothered me for a bit, that the Doctor chose Sooyoung instead of me, but I think he still thinks I’m against the North, which is true, but I wouldn’t refuse in taking care of the Commander.

I was glad when I finally took off my nurse uniform and walked home, hurrying a bit as the breeze was cold tonight. The sky was dark as clouds covered the stars and moon. Cold days were ahead, winter approaching faster and faster. 

Once arriving in front of my house, my eyebrows furrowed at the bouquet of red roses. I looked around but obviously saw no one. Who sent this? Was this perhaps for Yeri from Baekhyun? No, it can’t be, that boy has no money and roses like these cost a fortune. Perhaps, is there a suitor for Irene? Picking it up, I entered the warm house and walked inside the kitchen with an amused smile. Irene was baking some pie while Yeri’s hand was furiously writing something.

“Who has a secret admirer?” I asked loudly, catching my sisters attention.

“A what?” Irene asked with her eyebrows furrowed.

“That’s not from Baekhyun” Yeri muttered with a pout and Irene threw her a warning glare.

“Well, I found this in front of our door, they are really pretty” I said with a smile as I smelled them. A little paper caught my eyes and I picked it up and turned it around. My smile faltered as my eyes read the words, Commander Kim Junmyeon.

No, I don’t need these. With a scoff, I walked to the dashbin and threw the bouquet inside with the little note and angrily stormed off. Why is my heart beating fast? Probably because I threw some beautiful flowers away. I took my shoes and coat off before storming back to the kitchen. Yeri and Irene looked at me wide eyed as they both stopped giggling, Irene holding the big bouquet while Yeri slowly lowered the note and plastered on a serious face.

“I threw them away for a reason” I snapped, crossing my arms in front of my chest. Irene and Yeri locked eyes before running up to me.

“Come on! These are too beautiful to be thrown away!” Irene giggled as she smelled the roses.

“Yes, but I--”

“I’m really sorry about what happened that night. I accept your apology, Miss Bae, and I hope you can accept mine through these roses. Commander Kim Junmyeon” Yeri read in a mocking masculine voice and I glared at her.

“I only have one question” Yeri muttered after stepping back when I tried to snatch the note, “I thought you hated the North but here you are, getting flowers and a note from...The Commander himself, we deserve an explanation, don’t we?”

“We do” Irene nodded her head innocently and I huffed loudly, snatching the bouquet from her hands.

“I hate the North, they are evil and I had an argument with the Commander, there’s nothing else you need to know” I snapped before snatching the note from Yeri and walked up the stairs to my room, unable to block out Yeri and Irene’s laughs.

~~~

     The Hospital was quiet as I strode towards the supply room to have lunch. Irene cooked some food yesterday and she packed me some this morning before I could leave. I usually just ate whatever the Hospital offered for us, but today I was feeling rather unwell and decided a homemade meal would be better. The bouquet of roses and the note made me feel a bit uneasy. Why did he not tell me that in person? Why did he send the roses if he could have just sent a simple note? I didn’t want to keep it, but when I woke up in the morning the bouquet was placed inside a vase with water and on my desk, it must have been Irene. Why are they so calm about it? It is from a Northern soldier after all, they should be outraged or worried! Why are they taking it so easily? I feel like I’m going mad with all these questions and the resistance, the resistance I am part of caused the injuries of the Commander, he could have died, and it would have been my fault as well. So if I hate him and the North so much, why does this thought bother me so much? 

“Miss Bae?” I jumped at the voice calling for me from behind, “Y/N, are you alright?”

I turned around to find Minseok poking his head inside the room, “Sorry, have you been calling for me for a long time?”

“Not really, you seemed lost in thought though” He muttered with a small smile and I hummed as I walked closer to him.

“You can come in, you are a nurse too, Minseok” I chuckled as I watched Minseok shily open the door widely.

“Yeah, Sooyoung told me not to come here anymore...she said” His eyes narrowed as he made air quotations, “This room is for girls only and I might see and hear things I wouldn’t want to”

I chuckled as I shook my head, “Yeah, Sooyoung says many things that aren’t true, this is a supply room not a ladies restroom”

“I told her that, anyways…” He glanced around before taking an apple out from his pocket. My eyes widened as I was confused for a second.

“I heard you haven’t eaten since eleven in the morning, this apple would do good to you” He smiled as he handed me over the apple and I took it warily, eyebrows furrowed.

“Indeed, I’m quite hungry” I muttered as I glanced down at the apple.

“Well, I’ll see you around then, Y/N” I bowed my head as Minseok left the room.

“Take care” I called quietly before I glanced down at the red apple. Tonight at eleven there’s a meeting at Mrs. Young’s place, great, another sleepless night for me.

~~~

   Irene and Yeri went to bed and I offered to clean the kitchen and living room in order to be able to sneak out. There was a curfew ever since the Commander returned from Pyongyang and people weren’t let out on the streets after ten o’clock in the evening. Just perfect for me to get caught. Dusting off the counter for the last time tonight, I pulled on my coat and placed a scarf around my head to protect it from the cold breeze and to aid me from being easy to be recognized. Mrs. Young’s house is literally down the street, soldiers usually don’t walk around this part of the neighbourhood, there’s no way I will get caught. But still cautiously, I locked the front door and took of towards Mrs. Young’s house. I was confident I won’t get caught because of the reasons listed above but my heart jumped to my throat when I heard the voice.

“Stop right there!” It was loud and clear in the dark and quiet night. Seriously, fifteen more steps and I would be inside Mrs. Young’s house!

“What do you want?!” I asked loudly, playing oblivious to this soldier as I stood with my back towards him.

“You do know it’s past curfew, Miss Bae, right?” I hissed at the amused voice and turned around abruptly.

“And you do know you are not supposed to be out of bed for two more weeks, Commander Kim, right?” I raised an eyebrow at him as he walked closer to me.

“You need to give me a serious reason, Y/N, because I caught you and I will have to take you to jail for not following the Northern rules” The Commander’s voice got quiet as he was a few feet away from me.

“As if I would--” I stopped myself before I could start another argument, the scarf slipped down from my hair and I sighed, “I just wanted to take a walk on the beach, there’s thoughts troubling me and a walk on the beach under the moonlight always helped me”

“We shall walk together then and this way you won’t get in trouble” He offered me his arm but I just looked at it dumbly, “I promise not to speak or bother you”

But you are the one already bothering my thoughts, Commander.

“Do not worry Commander, I’ll just head back inside” I cleared my throat as I knew I was no doubt late to the meeting and I probably won’t be able to attend it as I’m sure the Commander won’t leave the street for a long time, “I don’t want to trouble you furthermore. And you should rest as well as you are seriously injured, Dr. Oh wouldn’t be too happy to hear you’re out of bed late at night and out in the cold, Commander”

The Commander bit his lip as he stared at me underneath the moonlight and I gulped as I bowed my head a bit and sidestepped him to walk back to my house. However, a hand on my forearm, much more gentle than last time, stopped me from leaving as I was pulled back barely space between us.

“You know, the letter I sent--” The Commander’s voice was quiet as he looked into my eyes, “I meant those words”

“I did not read the letter, Commander, nor did I keep the flowers” I blinked a few times, trying to mask my lie. My heart was beating so fast it felt like it’d jump out of my chest anytime. The Commander’s eyebrows furrowed and he licked his lips angrily.

“Why do you keep pushing me away, Y/N? You keep hurting me, using malicious words, and you know the effect they leave behind yet you still do it and--it’s hard for me, because I--I--” My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the Commander confused, heart beating fast as I anticipated his next words.

“Because I have never felt this way before for someone, I like you, Bae Y/N” His words left a deadly silence between us. I opened my mouth to fire something back at him but the words died in my throat, the rapid beating of my heart was all I could hear. He was staring at me expectantly and I sucked in a sharp breath of cold air and straightened my back. Don’t let them affect you, you can’t show how you feel. Not to him, because you should feel nothing in the first place.

“Commander Kim Junmyeon” My voice was ice cold, no emotion flowing through and the Commander’s eyebrows furrowed, “You are just a soldier from the North, who took away whom I loved most. You mean…” I gulped as our eyes connected, “Nothing to me”

The frown was gone from his face as it showed anger now. It all happened so quickly, I couldn’t even pull back in time. Two hands holding onto my neck as I was pulled forward, lips pressed against soft lips. They were warm and it felt weird, I have never kissed anyone on the lips before. It felt...good. 

My eyes widened realizing this was Commander Kim Junmyeon I let kiss me and I abruptly pulled away, his eyes wide like mine once we both opened them. His mouth opened to say something but my palm collided with his cheek before he could do it.

“I-I-I--” My hands were shaking as he held his cheek with a hand and stared at me stunned, “I told you not to touch me ever again, Commander!” 

I took a step backwards and shook my head at him when he stepped forward.

“Y/N--”

“Miss Bae?” My head whipped around at the sound of Mrs. Young’s voice, “Are you alright, my dear?” “Yes, she was just wandering around and I--” Mrs. Young coughed and threw a glare at the Commander who shut up instantly.

“I’m afraid you are not Miss Bae, are you now, Commander?” I quickly pulled the scarf around my head again as I rushed to Mrs. Young’s side.

“Come on dear, you should give me my injection, you know these old bones won’t hold on for long without it” She muttered as she took my arm and threw a last glare at the Commander before pulling me after her. I could still feel the flesh of his warm lips against mine and my heartbeat seemed to be going crazy as it wouldn’t slow down. The Commander kissed me on the lips, he shouldn’t have done that.

“You were late so I knew something must have happened” Mrs. Young muttered as she lead me inside her house.

“Mrs. Young, you…” My eyebrows furrowed as she opened the door to the basement, “You saw nothing, alright? That--thing--meant nothing to me”

“I have no idea what you are talking about” Mrs. Young threw me a cheeky grin as we ascended the stairs to the basement. Once down, the attention was on us until Minseok cleared his throat.

“Now that Miss Bae joined us, let me inform you of what will happen” He stood up as he folded his hands in front of him, “I heard Doctor Zhang Yixing talking to Lieutenant Choi yesterday about a surprise attack the army is planning for the North. They will need the Hospital to help them with supplies and nurses. However, they will need us there as well”

“We will be the distraction” A man with deep voice spoke up and Minseok nodded as he looked around the room.

“However, the distraction must target Commander Kim as he is the head of army here in Busan” Mrs. Young cleared her throat and all heads turned towards her.

“Y/N will be the perfect distraction for the Commander” My eyes widened as I looked at the old lady alarmed. What is she saying? My heart felt heavy as the men in the room started agreeing. I can’t do that! I can’t lead someone on and then just...kill them! I’m a nurse, I save lives not take them away! I can’t hurt the Commander because...because...I like him.

My wide eyes looked at Mrs. Young in realization and I was ready to beg them to not use me, no, I can’t hurt him. Not after tonight, not after everything.

“The Commander hates me” My voice was a lot steadier than how I felt right now, “I will not distract him, so there’s no use to using me in this mission”

“A woman can charm any men she wants, you are pretty and smart, Miss Bae, you are our secret weapon in this secret mission” My heart sinked to the floor at the words of the man.

“The North is going down!” Minseok suddenly exclaimed and the rest of the men chorused after him.

Do I want them to go down? Yes. Do I like Commander Kim? Yes. Can I let them go down then? No.

~~~

Part 1

[kdtheghostwriter]

New Blade Runner Fic

And I mean Brand New!

Yes, this is one of the ideas I’ve had slamming around in my head lately. And before we go further I must must MUST give a shoutout to the righteous @future-geometries for being a source of inspiration.

You see, we both have an on-off, intermittent fascination with the 2017 film Blade Runner 2049. It has a tiny but passionate fandom that still produces content to this day. (That includes a great fic written by J.)

We were in the midst of one of our convos about this flick when they pointed out how tragic K’s arc was and how disappointed they were that we haven’t had a “satisfying, low-stakes AU” yet. Now, this was over a year ago at least and perhaps I underestimated how much people love putting K on the Whump Train because we still haven’t seen it. So, what else is the guy who rewrote Dawn of Justice to do?

This is a rare look into my process as you get to see a very skeletal first draft. The final version will be three chapters with much more detail about the characters and the issues they face in a modern-adjacent setting.

I had to get this out into the Ether because I know it will be ages before I can get back to finishing this. I still have to finish The Batman. I still have to write JL3. Between those I’ll be writing my [REDACTED] rework. And a neat idea I have for Atomic Blonde. Then maybe I can finish this.

Until that fateful day, join me under the cut if you will...

Title: Dead Slow Ahead Word Count: 2415 Category: Gen Fandom: Blade Runner Characters: K, Rick Deckard, Ana Stelline Rating: T+ (some thematic elements and Deckard’s salty language) Summary: A tragedy in the life of Officer K begins a slow spiral that leads to his resignation from the LAPD. He now finds himself in the home of another former officer named Deckard, as he begins the slow march back to stability. A snapshot of a recovery in progress.

He drops the badge and gun on her desk without a word. She doesn’t look up at first, until she notices him still standing there. He stands there in silence for several seconds longer before he takes the seat in front of her. He’s looking down and away, then up and to the left. Anywhere but ahead into her sight.

“Is that it?”

“I think so.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“Think what? I don’t read minds.”

“I think I’m done.”

She pauses at that. Not out of surprise.

“Kinda figured. Life’s put you through the shit stain recently.”

“…Yeah.”

Another pause and she opens up a drawer to drop the badge and gun into. She snaps twice to get his attention. He maintains eye contact for the first time.

“I don’t have to tell you but…this isn’t normal protocol. It’s usually a two-week notice. Two weeks that you’re still expected to show up and do your job. But I like you. We’re not friends but I like you. You’ve done good work for this department. So, I’m going to do you a favor.”

She holds up two fingers. One from each hand.

“Two days. Forty-eight hours. However you wanna think of it, I don’t care. You get two days leave to figure out whatever this is. You come back in two days and I give you your gear back. If you don’t, I clear out your desk and I don’t see you in this building again. That’s fair, right?”

“Very fair. Thank you, ma’am.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiles very slightly. “You were always so polite. I know I’m a smartass constantly but I do appreciate that.”

“I know.”

“Hey.” She sits up straighter to cross her legs. “Before you go.”

“My baseline?”

“If it’s not any trouble.”

“Not at all.”

He’s been in her office for meetings before. He doesn’t have to see behind her desk to know her finger is hovering above a silent call button. Whether he left the precinct under his own power or under restraint depended on his performance.

He closes his eyes, swallows the emotion and looks forward to recite the words.

“And a blood-black nothingness began to spin. A system of cells interlinked within cells interlinked within cells interlinked within one stem. And dreadfully distinct, against the dark, a tall white fountain played. But in the case of my white fountain what it did replace? Perceptually was something that, I felt, could be grasped only by whoever dwelt in the strange world where I was a mere stray.”

She places both of her hands flat on her desk. She visibly relaxes. He does not.

“Thank you for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Constant K like always.”

“Always a pleasure, Madam.”

 -------------------------

 K jolts awake to slam on his brake, throwing his arm out to the seat space next to him. He expects the paper grocery bags to go flying. What he finds instead is his front bumper flush against the garage door. Asleep in the driveway. Embarrassing but not dangerous. He backs up slightly and kills the engine.

Almost a year removed from his last day finds him in the Silver Lake neighborhood of Los Angeles. He’s staying in a house for the first time since finishing high school. It shows as he drops his keys while fishing from his pockets. He grumbles as he bends down to retrieve them, hearing the door open.

“Deckard,” he says. “I know I’m late but I got some extra-“

The face in front of him isn’t who he expects. It’s much younger and the smile is still visible from behind the clinical mask.

“I suppose you aren’t wrong.”

“Ana. Hello.”

She answers with a wave. “I’m making my weekly visit. May I?”

K without protest hands over one bag and pockets his keys. Once inside, he slips both shoes off and drops into the near recliner with the bag still in his lap.

“About time, boy.” Deckard speaks gruffly while scrolling his phone.

“Kept you waiting, huh?”

“Not me.”

A scruffy Shepard mix brushes up against K’s leg and he repositions the bag to give it a petting.

“Ten years I’ve had Bo, he’s hardly ever that friendly. Good-looking stranger walks in and he acts brand new.” Deckard places his phone down and takes the bag Ana is holding. “You get everything?”

K answers non-verbally through a yawn.

“Feels that way. Oh! Look at this. Four whole bell peppers? I think Miss Consuela likes you, Joe. Joe?”

The latter man is asleep with the second bag still upright in his hold.

Deckard claps once. “Joe! Huh. New gig is doing a number on him.”

Ana pads quietly across the room and stops near the chair before reaching out to touch his shoulder.

“K?”

This perks him up. He looks back at Ana and down to the dog.

“Was I asleep just now?”

“Out cold,” Deckard responds. “You’ve got a bed, you know.”

K hands the bag to Ana. “You don’t need help with dinner?”

“I do, but that can wait until you’re rested. A stiff in the kitchen won’t do me any good. Get.”

K gives Bo another head pat, then shuffles down the hall to his room. While holding the bag, Ana joins Deckard on the sofa to help him with the groceries.

“What’s that you called him?”

“K.”

“Like the letter?”

“Like his badge number. KD6-3.7.”

Deckard scoffs, putting his reading glasses on. “The hell kind of serial is that?”

“It’s his.” Ana says this while inspecting a pack of tomato seeds. “Was his.”

“I’m not calling him by his damn serial.”

“You don’t have to, Deckard.”

“Oh yeah?” Deckard is out of his chair and she follows him into the kitchen. “Why do you?”

“He asked. And I feel like K is a bit more interesting than Joe. Don’t you?”

“Eh. Seems like a lateral move, to me.”

Deckard sits at the table with both bags before him. Ana remains standing, drawing her hands into the sleeves of her pullover.

“Will he be alright?”

“You’ve got three degrees. You tell me.”

This is meant to be a joke, but if the frown outlined by her mask is an indication, Ana does not find this funny. Deckard frowns back to remind her where she got it from.

“Don’t give me that. Physically he’s fine. Beat up maybe but fine. Mentally? Emotionally?” Deckard removes his glasses and his gaze softens slightly. “He won’t be ‘alright’ for a long time. You know that like I do.”

Ana circles the chair to embrace her father. She isn’t taller than him but while he’s sitting, she can rest her temple on his.

“It was nice of you to help him.”

“It was necessary. Kid has no family and I know what the force does to people. Wasn’t gonna let him go back there.”

Ana stands up straight when her phone sounds from the other room. She’s reading the message silently as she walks back in. Deckard is busy separating the canned goods from the perishables.

“Oh,” she says.

“Gotta go?”

“I do.”

“Fair enough. Scoot, then.”

“Very well, Detective.”

“I told you I’m not-”

Deckard is cut off by a quick peck to his cheek. He fights a smirk as she slips away.

“Hey! Mask on, you hear?”

 -------------------------

 When K wakes up his room is dark. Several hours have passed since he left Ana and Deckard in the living room. This is about when dinner gets prepped, but Deckard hasn’t come looking for him. K walks past a napping Bo in the hallway to see what the status is. Deckard is at the table, peeling potatoes.

“You started.”

“You were sleep.”

“Could have woke me up.”

“Could have. But that would be rude. You’re here now, so get started.”

He tosses a peeler in his direction that K catches easily.

“Yes, sir.”

They stay like this for several minutes, peeling in silence. K is a great help with menial tasks like this. He doesn’t complain, nor does he get distracted. After a time, though, even Deckard gets a bit antsy.

“Talked with Ana earlier today. Before you got here.”

“How is she? She usually stays to eat with us.”

“Busy, Joe. It’s always around springtime her workload gets heavy. She can manage but for a few weeks it’ll be tough.”

“Okay.”

“Anyway, she told me you had your eye on a place?”

“Found one, actually. Studio in Los Feliz. I move in next month.”

“Not bad, kid. You know there wasn’t a cutoff date on this arrangement.”

“I know.”

“I mean I get it. Shacking up with an old man ain’t exactly exhilarating.”

Deckard’s teasing works as K holds up his peeler in protest.

“No, no! It’s not you. I like being here. I’ve…honestly needed to talk to you about this for a while.”

“I got nothing but time, Joe. Just keep peeling, huh?”

“Right.”

K doesn’t speak again until he’s finished peeling his current potato. He also doesn’t see Deckard roll his eyes.

“I never lost the place. I put all my stuff in storage. Been subletting for months. I just couldn’t stay there any longer. I only went back today because the office called me.”

“Is that what this is about?” Deckard reaches into the seat of a neighboring chair and pulls out a copy of the Vladimir Nabokov novel Pale Fire. “Found this under the eggs.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“You mentioned this before. Your girlfriend. What was her name?”

“Joy.”

“She was a reader, huh?”

“No, she hated that book. She liked to hear me read.”

“How long you stay after?”

“Too long but it’s not like I was ever there.”

K closes his eyes and counts before he continues.

“After Joy died… You’d think my work would suffer while I was bereaved but it was the opposite. I was more driven than I’d ever been. I was sleeping in the station barracks. I found a lot of people that didn’t wanna be found. Destroyed them. Got destroyed myself. In my storage unit, there’s a box of awards with my name on them that I got for running and fighting and kicking ass.”

K grabs another potato. He isn’t done and Deckard knows so he doesn’t interject.

“This sounds crazy now but I didn’t even consider leaving.” K drops his peeler and wipes his hand to pull out his phone. “Not until I found this up on my door.”

He passes the phone as Deckard slips on his glasses. Once he sees, he whips them off and returns the device.

“Fucking hell,” he spits out.

“Didn’t matter that my life partner was dead,” K started. “Didn’t matter to them that she was Spanish and not Mexican. It didn’t matter that she was a legal US citizen. Only thing that mattered to them was my badge and my gun, when I knocked on their door and told them exactly what would happen if they bothered me again. That is when I knew.”

“This sounds familiar.”

K exhales. “Bet it is.”

“Well, you were nice enough to share so I’ll do the same. I was with LAPD way longer than I was supposed to be.”

“I thought you quit.”

“I did! Life has a funny way of happening.”

“You too?”

“Rachel was her name. I was already one foot out the door when I met her, so there wasn’t really a decision to be made. And with the ink dry on the previous marriage I felt like the stars were lining up for once.”

“What happened?”

Deckard lays down his peeler to ruffle the fur of Bo who has joined the pair at the table.

“The good news, if you can call it that, is that we weren’t taken by surprise. I was never interested in kids. Rachel wanted one so I wanted one for her. We tried and failed and on the way to failing, we were told in fairly explicit terms that a pregnancy, should we succeed, would likely be fatal. We traveled the country after that. Maybe it was my youth but I was damn prepared to live in that RV in Vegas forever.”

“Until you weren’t.”

“She was with child, Joe. It was every fucking emotion all at once. The happiness, the relief, the fear. I took her home and was back working full time within the week. I took as many cases as I could. Maybe deep down I knew, but I never stopped long enough to think about it.”

There are three potatoes left to peel at this point. K will finish the job, of course; before that, there’s something hanging in the air between them. K goes ahead without looking up from his work.

“Did Rachel get to see her?”

If Deckard doesn’t appreciate this question, he doesn’t let it show. “You never know with that kind of thing. The nurse said she did. Could you blame her? You’re facing down a widower holding a newborn in his arms. You’d say the sky was turning pink.”

K isn’t sure how he should react to this, so he stays quiet for a long time.

“Feel better?” Deckard asks.

“Sorta.”

“Did any of that make sense?”

“Some of it.”

“Good, cause I’m not repeating it.”

The older man rises from his seat and lifts a harness off the wall. Bo takes this as the cue to follow his lead.

“Taking Bo for his night walk. When you’re done there you can get dinner started.”

“Are these for dinner?”

“Nope. They’re for tomorrow. Dinner’s in the oven. All you gotta do is press the ‘Start’ button, big guy.”

K is alone again. He had been rather sluggish and heavy for days up to that point. Moving into his own place once again obviously wouldn’t be the end of his relationship with Deckard or Ana. What it would be is the first extended time he’s had alone with his thoughts. Is he ready for that? Does he have a choice? What is his relationship with these people exactly? He feels better than he was, but there are still more questions than he’d like.

K picks up one last potato from the container. With no one to hear him, he begins to recite the lines he knows so well.

“And a blood-black nothingness began to spin. A system of cells. Interlinked within cells. Interlinked within cells. Interlinked within one stem. And dreadfully distinct, against the dark, a tall white fountain played…”

[jaksfanficsaver]

Just Another Number?

It was another average day, Y/N followed her usual routine and trudged in her rut. First the library, then the coffee shop, maybe after she'd change it up and go draw in the park for a while.

"Hey Laverne," Y/N murmured walking into the library, the scent of old pages and worn leather hitting her as she took a deep content breath.

"Y/n! What's the pick of the week now?" A stout woman inquired from behind her desk. Y/N chuckled and shook her head with a roll of her eyes.

"You're going to laugh," She teased as she wondered down an aisle.

"Try me."

"It's the Bazaar of Bad Dreams... Again." she added the last bit a tad sheepishly

"With all that King you read it's hard to believe that you don't constantly have nightmares." the short woman laughed and rolled her eyes before going back to her filing.

"What, this one is my favorite of his!" she stuck her tongue out in a childish manor as she went about filling out the card, which most spaces on consisted of her name.

"Mhmm, sure." she clacked away at her keyboard "Go flirt with that barista now."

"Oh please." her nose crinkled at the idea "Anthony is definitely not my type, you know that."

"I forgot, you like older mysterious men, Don't you?"

"Laverne!" Her cheeks flared a bright crimson "I'm leaving now, I can't believe you," Y/N laughed as she walked towards the door.

-------

John wondered the library, just close enough to keep an eye on you but not enough to draw attention. His fingers drew across the canvas spines of old books as he listened to the conversation.

"Stephen King, seems like she's a horror fan," Harold's voice came through the ear wick "Bazaar of Bad Dreams, one of his most recent compilation books, it's a nice collection of short stories... Seems like she prefers them to novels, other books she checks out religiously are the Grimm Brother's Collection and a complete collection of Edgar Allen Poe."

"have we got anything else on her?"

"She likes sushi, she's an Art Major a semester away from graduating, she's had maybe three boyfriends in her life and she volunteers at an animal shelter in her free time." the bespectacled man sat back for a moment. "Who on Earth  would want to hurt her?"

"That's what I'm going to find out, Finch." John's eyes trained on the woman through the bookshelves.

"Mhmm, sure." she clacked away at her keyboard "Go flirt with that barista now."

"Oh please." her nose crinkled at the idea "Anthony is definitely not my type, you know that."

"I forgot, you like older mysterious men, Don't you?"

"Laverne!"

A small smirk quirked at the edge of John's lips at the exchange and how the older woman poked fun at Y/N.

"Hear that, Mr. Reese?" there was a smile in Harold's voice "You could use that to get close to her, if you befriend her it could make our job exponentially less difficult." the pepper-haired man let out a soft laugh at the suggestion and shook his head. "She goes to a little coffee shop called 'The Hideaway'. Make sure you don't lose her." John nodded and hung up, deciding to snatch up the leather bound Grimm book just in case.

---

"Um, a medium Irish Creme and a blueberry muffin please?" She ordered politely at the counter, offering a small smile when the man bearing the name tag reading 'Tony' beamed at her.

"Anything else? maybe my phone number? a date?"

She laughed a little nervously and glanced around, catching the tall man who had just walked in she let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

"No thanks, Anthony, just the coffee and snack." The light lilt that was usually in her voice had fallen out into a more flat tone at his insistence.

"Oh come one, one of these days you'll say yes like the smart girl you are."

Y/N shivered and couldn't hide the crinkle of her nose at the suggestion

"Just let me pay, please."

"I got it for you, Muffin," He grinned as if proud of himself.

"I'd really prefer if you didn't." She sighed, she was used to his crap, some days he tried harder than others, and honestly it was the stink of desperation that really made her not want to spend outside time with him. The Hideaway was her favorite coffee shop and she wouldn't let a new, somewhat creepy, barista ruin it.

"It'll be like a first date, c'mon, no harm." The blond man insisted all while she shook her head.

"Anthony-"

"Tony. The only person who calls me Anthony is my mother when I'm in trouble." He laughed, his brown eyes still stuck to her face. By this point John had taken up the spot behind her in line to keep an eye on the situation.

"Anthony, I don't want you to pay for me, and I don't want a date with you, please." Y/N's nostrils flared at the young man.

"But-"

"Well maybe I can buy your coffee for you?" John cut in having had seen enough of the man's failing attempts at convincing her to let him get her items. She jumped startled by his sudden appearance and he offered an apologetic (and charming) smile (that also caught her off guard) causing her to flush brightly. Tony openly glared at the older man that seemed to catch her attention.

"Oh, uh, sure, Thank you... "

"John."

"Well then, thank you, John I'd like that." The h/c girl smiled softly up at him to which he nodded and ordered his own before paying, it was then she noticed the book he had tucked under his arm "Is that the Grimm collection?" she inquired with a smile.

"Ah, yes actually it is," he admitted with what was perceived as a sheepish smile as he lifted the object. "I used to read them as a child, I thought I'd check it out once more." He responded with a light shrug.

"Um, would you like to sit with me?" She offered a little awkwardly while she gestured to a booth he assumed was her usual spot.

"Oh, you don-"

"I insist, really." She smiled more confidently this time

"Well, if you're sure."

"Well done, John." Finch spoke in his ear "Stay with her, I think I can get into the laptop in her bag."

"So, is that a common occurrence?" the ex-operative questioned gently as he sat across from her. Y/N was very aware of the set of brown eyes on the two of them as she cut her muffin in half and offered part to her 'savior'.

"Yeah, that's Anthony," Y/N began with a sigh "He started working here a few months ago and has this thing  with me.

"I see why, you're a beautiful young girl," he charmed, not that it wasn't what he actually thought "Are you okay though?"

"I-" she puffed her cheeks out as she registered what he said and she once again rivaled a tomato "... Thank you." Y/N mumbled softly before taking a sip of her coffee. "Tony is harmless, just persistent," she deflated a bit "My biggest problem with him, aside from not knowing the word 'no', is that I can't quite pin down why I don't trust him." John cocked a brow at this. "I know it sounds crazy, but I pride myself on my initial instincts on people, but I can usually tell why I don't like someone." she shook her head "something is off with him and I'm not sure what."

"I think I might know," Harold began "Anthony has a history of being... overbearing.. with women he likes. He's not violent, but his type is definitely the kind that might set off some flags. I don't think he is the one we need to watch out for."

"So you have good judge of character," he nodded "I'd like to think I do as well." he paused "What made you trust me then?" John was genuinely curious with this one, not just trying to buy time for Harold.

"You have honest eyes." She didn't miss a beat "What I mean to say is that I truly believe you wanted to help me out of that awkward situation." she let out a small laugh and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and looked down into her cup. "So, um, is it everything you remembered?" she abruptly asked, pointing to the red leather that sat beside her new companion.

"Oh, yes," he chuckled softly

"Nice save." commented the voice in his ear.

"Tales that don't just end happily, but have a lesson were always a preference of mine," he explained "While the Grimm's didn't write happy stories they wrote ones I believe need to exist."

"Yes!" her eyes sparkled as she listened to his opinion "I always loved Grimm Tales and Aesop's Fables" Her smile was nearly ear to ear "I had a language class where we had to pick a children's book to translate, I was the only one who picked a fable."

"Almost in, she has a pin protected system... good girl." Harold murmured.

"You speak another language?" John inquired with a small tilt of his head as he sipped on his coffee. She beamed and started gesturing around with her hands proudly. It took John a moment but he recognized it as American Sign Language. He took a moment to think about what he was doing before carefully attempting to sign something back

'H-I M-Y N-A-M-E I-S J-O-H-N'

Y/N giggled softly and nodded.

"Close, some of your letters are a little off- may I?" she gently reached for his hands, smiling more when he placed his own in hers "Okay, so you want to make sure you're really clear on your letters if you're going to finger spell," she had such a light touch as she guided his fingers through the motions "And then there's shortcut signs for 'Name' and 'hello', and there are no little connectors" he watched her as she focused on sharing her knowledge "Aaannnd there you go!" she grinned, satisfied that she taught him a good introductory sentence. She pulled back a little too quickly when she had realized she had still been holding John's hands causing the man to chuckle genuinely.

"Oh, he can laugh?" Harold couldn't resist teasing his good friend "I think you two might be flirting, Reese you dog." If the taller man could roll his eyes he would.

"What do I owe you for the lesson then miss.." John tilted his head, pretending that he didn't know her name.

"Oh my god, I never introduced myself, I'm sorry! It's Y/N." an embarrassed flush coated her cheeks "I'd say saving me from my admirer would be payment enough, but I wouldn't argue if you wanted to do it again tomorrow, same time?"

"Then I'll meet you here, Y/N."

------

John kept Y/n in his sights, snapping a few pictures after the two of you left the coffee shop.

"So you have a date tomorrow morning then."This time John did roll his eyes.

"It's not a date, Finch." he grumbled

"You sound a tad disappointed, Mr. Reese." John glared directly into the traffic cam he knew could see him.

"I'm old enough I could be her father."

"Not quite actually, but that's not the point." John could hear Finch typing "So i was able to find that she's part of some conspiracy forums, that and that she covers her webcams when not in use. Our girl may be a bit on the paranoid side."

"The paranoid survive."

"That's true, but i suspect one of her government conspiracies hits too close to home if any of the trojans I found mean anything."

"If shes paranoid I doubt she'd just download things that could infect her system like that."

"Precisely Mr. Reese... She's got a couple of threads on surveillance, they might be scared she'll find the machine, and if that's true we can't leave her alone for a second."

"Harold, I lost her."

[darringauthier]

Crawl (2019)

Genre: Horror

Who’s In It: Kaya Scodelario, Barry Pepper

Who Directed It: Alexandre Aja

Plot:  A young woman, while attempting to save her father during a category 5 hurricane, finds herself trapped in a flooding house and must fight for her life against alligators.

Running Time: 87 Minutes 

IMDB Score: 6.2

Rotten Tomatoes Score: Critics 83%  Audience 75%

Why I Watched It: The trailer looked very good and the genre buzz was strong so I was in.

How I Watched It: iTunes and to prove how much I wanted to see it I paid the max 6.99 for it, it’s rare but I will pony up the cash.

Random Thoughts: The IMDB scores are weird, I find with bad or just plain mediocre movies the score is high but with good to very good genre films they seem low.  Look at the Rotten Tomatoes numbers.

Have to say I’ve been around the block a few times (hundreds) and I try not to get to excited from trailers and buzz especially  with genre films but nce I saw the trailer I was giddy, it seemed like a good old fashioned bare bones horror film.

What I Liked: What I hope it would be it turned out to be just that, a very entertaining and visceral horror film.  Credit to the two leads cause this was a very physically film and they were in water for most of it and that’s not easy.  I don’t think actors in genre films get enough credit, this isn’t a period piece in custom and carpet acting you are are being thrown into walls and so much more and both Scodelario and Pepper go a great job.  Also really liked that they were father and daughter we don’t see that much in horror films and also the relationship seemed natural, it’s not just a one note relationship, there’s love, anger and it’s layered and I give them credit cause for this type of film you don’t need that but it helps if done well.

The thing I liked about Crawl is what horror films get wrong a lot and that’s pacing and tension, for a film like this to work we need to be scared and the threat has to be real and they do a great job.  Now I will say something I didn’t know, it’s given away in the summary, I though there was one alligator but no sir.  Also what to give major props to the dog in the film who also goes through a lot.

The big take away from Crawl is that a talented filmmaker can take a very premise and still be able to make it fun and for the most part not weighed down being dumb or cliched.  Aja is a hit or miss director for me but I give him credit he’s a horror guy and he tries different sub-genres but at his core he directors horror films.  The film looks great and I will give credit for the CGI alligators, sue I knew they weren’t real but they worked it didn’t take me out of the film.

Also the action and this is what is cool about this film they use the hurricane and the alligators to keep building up the tension and the fact that the two characters have to survive both.

What I Didn’t Like: There’s not much but there’s one semi major thing, now I get the film is only 87 minutes and you can’t make it much shorter but I will say maybe they needed more people in it, I’ll just say it the film needed more victims cause by the end our two leads go through everything, they’re bit and more and it did get to the point where it was a little much, they did throw in a couple of extra people to get eaten but I did feel that by the end I was getting drained.

Final Thoughts: A very enjoyable and fun horror film, one of the better genre films I’ve seen in awhile and one I’ll be recommending a lot.

Rating: 8/10

[writeradamanteve]

You are doing prompts for the first time? That's so exciting! We are including the wintery prompts as mini reindeer games over on @riverdale-events if you want to include them! I can't help but send one in. You are so good with AUs of all kinds. How about: 59. this year my family has decided we’re celebrating the holidays on a cruise and you’re the cute bartender who teases me for mourning the lack of snow

Remember this? Well, just to prove that I haven’t given up on them...

Here’s Part 1 of  Mi Irie

The Jamaican saying "irie" is often used to mean "everything is alright and fine." Note that Jamaica has numerous variations when it comes to greeting someone. When someone asks “How are you feeling?” or “How yuh stay?” an appropriate response would be, “Mi irie.” ~ Sandals.com

I.

She looked pretty miserable.

Which wasn’t the most surprising thing on a tropical cruise, if Jughead were to be honest.

Working as a bartender on the Ringmaster Caribbean Cruise ship for the last couple of years, his station was perhaps the only place on the ship where the miserable can turn to for comfort. The bar attracted both party goers and debbie downers alike.

Not that he was there to judge. He, of all people, understood feeling miserable in a room full of happily drunk people, both as a bartender and a person who, as a kid, grew up surrounded by drunk adults in his father’s bar. It was the funhouse image of an Eloisian upbringing--Jughead at the Whyte Wyrm.

That he ended up getting a bartending job was arguably a predictable outcome, or the opposite of--depending on how one looked at it. Sure, it was fucked up that he was a ten year old doing his homework in a bar, but ultimately, bartending became the one thing he knew how to do by heart, and if he was going to get anything out of his trashy childhood, it may as well be money he would be getting on bar tips.

But because he spent a lot of time around inebriated people, he did get the impression that everyone could be an asshole if they were drunk enough. It wasn’t an ideal working environment, but he needed a job that paid well while he wrote his book and went to school, and in some sad way, it was all worth the validation he got out of finding those who understood misery like he did.

So seeing this sad face at his bar wasn’t particularly extraordinary. He’d seen all types. And misery aside, she looked great. The golden cascades of her hair fell in waves over the skin of her sun-kissed shoulders. Her bikini, a nice dusty blue with a knitted pattern design, flattered her figure. Paired with a wrap around her hips and showing off her nice curves, he couldn’t help but think that the only thing weird about her was that she was alone.  

Then again, it was early morning and quiet.  

A soft breeze blew in over the turquoise waters of the ocean, wafting comfortably into the shaded bar area on the deck. The sunshine bounced brightly over the chlorine blue pool.

The bar was mostly empty. Out in the pool area, just outside the bar’s perimeter, guest were at a minimum. Most families with children were sleeping in or still having breakfast at the mess hall.

The people enjoying the pool at this time were adults, and a concentration of them were at the far end, riveted by the aquatic aerobics instructor and his goofy routines.

Miss Misery was, in fact, watching these antics from where she sat, passive and unsmiling.

“Nobody really goes to that class to exercise,” Jughead said to her as she watched them. “They like to watch Archie doing his thing. I’m surprised they don’t have dollar bills to put in his swim trunks, honestly.”

Archie, the instructor, as if on cue, tore off his Ringmaster Caribbean Cruise t-shirt and turned on the poolside shower to bathe under the stream, all while his “students” hooted and hollered.

Miss Misery’s lips tightened to a line, but she seemed amused instead of inscenced. “Well, he’s increasing their pulse rate, for sure.”

“He loves the attention.”

She nodded and turned her barstool to finally face the bar. “He must.”

When she said nothing else and her gaze began to wander to the TV hanging over the bar, he figured she wouldn’t mind the conversation. This quiet in the morning, he liked to engage guests one on one. “So, what can I get you, miss?”

Surprise piqued in her sea-green eyes. “You serve alcohol this early?”

He laughed and put his hands out in an open gesture. “All inclusive means it’s always five in the afternoon.”

Her eyebrows crinkled with what he could only assume was a sudden onslaught of possibilities. “Alcohol for breakfast?” This was a real marvel of a thing for her.

“It’s been done. For the seasoned drinker, a Bloody Mary is the most cliche of drinks, but it’ll do for a vacationer. The more hardened imbibers ask for a Prairie Oyster--strictly a veteran hangover cure.”

“What’s a Prairie Oyster?”

“Raw egg, Worcestershire sauce, bit of tomato juice, vinegar, hot sauce, black pepper, and a shot of gin. Two if the hangover’s particularly bad.”

Her jaw dropped open briefly before it clamped shut. “Does that actually work?”

Jughead shrugged. “No idea. I don’t go on benders so I’ve never had one.”

She seemed to accept this, her eyes falling on the overhead menu. The drinks written on it in neon colored pens were from last night’s specials, but they were good for any day. He waited for her to say something.

“Um… sangria?”

“Wow. Living it!”

She rolled her eyes, but he did manage to get a chuckle out of her. He began working on her order.  It would take a little longer to put her drink together, because he did need to cut up some fresh fruit, but he didn’t mind. If it meant she would stay a little longer, it was worth the extra effort.

“I’m Betty, by the way,” she said as he worked. “I didn’t see you at the bar last night, um--Jughead?” She was reading off his name tag, but she went on without saying how strange she probably thought his name was. “Last night it was Toni, who routinely got hit on by men of all ages.”

He laughed softly. “Yeah, she’s a crowd favorite. Got that whole Coyote Ugly vibe going. She’s not a fan of men, though. She prefers girls.”

“Oh.” She said it like it explained things.

“So,” he said, chopping up some oranges into thin quarters. “If you’re not here because you’re hungover, and you weren’t here to drink in the first place, did you come to the deck for aerobics then change your mind when you realized it was more of a strip tease? Or maybe you’re smart and figured you can enjoy the show from here, comfortably perched on our soft barstools.”

She cocked a smile, finally. “I just wanted to get away from the chaos of the mess hall and my family. I figured they weren’t going to look for me here. I’m not a big drinker.”

“Well, now look at you. Knocking back booze for breakfast.”

She snorted. “Hardly.”

He finished chopping up the apples and he threw all his chopped fruits in a pitcher, halfway full of ice, and mixed the sangria in it. After he gave the mixture a stir, he poured some of it in a glass, threw in a hefty dose of tequila, and slid the drink in front of her. “You look like you need some tequila. That’s my special mix. And drinks are on me.” He winked.

She arched an eyebrow. “It’s an all inclusive cruise. Of course they’re on you.”

“They don’t mix it the way I do.”

She took a sip and she gasped. “Wow!” she rasped. “Potent.”

“Just for you.”

She began to laugh and threw him a sidelong glance. “I bet you say that to all the girls.”

He tilted his grin but said nothing.  

The truth was, since he started this job, he hadn’t said that to anyone but her.

***********************

She was back the next morning and this time, she ordered a tequila sunrise. She had on a different suit, starkly white against her tanning skin, and he may have been imagining things, but the top gave her breasts a spectacular cleavage that wasn’t as noticeable the day before. He had to remind himself to keep his eyes up, especially since hers seemed more interested in engaging him.

“Feeling better?” he asked, mixing her drink.

She shrugged, but her smile came easier. “Same shit, different day, but now I know you serve alcohol in the morning and you don’t water drinks down.”

He chuckled but pressed his finger lightly over his lips. “That last part’s a secret between you and me.”

Her tanned cheeks bloomed pink and Jughead eyed her for a moment, delighting on the effect he had on her. He slid the drink towards her and she sipped from its straw. She seemed less surprised by the alcohol content but she did blow a breath through her lips. “You must be breaking some All Inclusive Rule here.”

“You bet I am. Does that impress you?”

She quirked her gaze. “It depends on how drunk this makes me.”

He gave it a moment’s thought. “Kind of a low bar. You were drunk after the one glass I gave you yesterday.”

“Hey, I was drinking on an empty stomach.” Her protest sounded weak.

He laughed and pulled a large plate from beneath the bar.  It had piles of bacon, layers of pancakes slathered in maple syrup and butter, and some scrambled eggs on the side. She stared at it as he offered her a clean fork. She slowly took the fork and shot him a suspicious squint. “Is this your breakfast?”

He nodded, grinning. “It’s my second one. It’s a fresh plate and I hadn’t touched it.  I don’t mind sharing if you don’t.”

Her gaze gave him the once over and a ripple of pleasure coursed through him, especially when her lashes fluttered as their eyes met again. “I can use some bacon and pancakes.”

He leaned over the counter and brought out a fork of his own, cutting into the pile of food on his plate. “So, if you don’t mind me asking… are you not enjoying yourself on this cruise? You come here in the morning and you always sound like you’re trying to forget something.”

“Oh, do I? Maybe you’re right. I’m on this cruise with my parents and my sister--not exactly the kind of getaway I was looking for. It’s bad enough that I have to deal with my mother’s sideways disapproval of how I look in my swimsuit, but I found out yesterday that a snowstorm hit New York City and I missed it. Will miss it. The snow will be nothing but filthy piles of ice on the side of the road by the time I get back to it, if I catch any of it at all.”

He couldn’t help but laugh.  “Wait a minute… are you telling me that you were all gloom and doom yesterday because you missed a snowstorm in New York… while being on a cruise ship on the tropical waters of the Caribbean? Really?”

Her cheeks reddened again, but she seemed poised to defend herself. “You laugh, but New York after a snowstorm, when everyone’s still indoors and the streets are quiet--it’s the most beautiful thing.”

“Oh, is it?”

She nodded eagerly. “It is. That thick layer of undisturbed white powder, lights blinking through the snow--all you can see are the parked cars covered in a shimmering white sheet and the buildings along its side look like pretty gingerbread houses--it’s so picturesque. The first people to emerge are usually kids with their parents, eager to slide down snow hills before the roads are salted and the dream is obliterated by modern machinery. If you close your eyes and listen to their laughter, it feels warm. It feels like waking up to a fresh new life. There’s nothing like it.”

He gets it. He grew up in Ohio and he knew what the aftermath of a snowstorm looked like, but he imagined that New York City was prettier than Toledo, and most people would pick a tropical paradise over a snowy cityscape. Not him, personally. He didn’t care where he was.

“You’re just going to have to comfort yourself with free alcohol, white sand, and blue, warm waters.”

She gave a dramatic sigh. “I suppose so.” She followed it with a laugh. “So, when do you get to enjoy the white sand and blue waters?”

He shrugged. “I mostly don’t. In my free time, I hang around the ship and write.”

“Write?”

He nodded. “I’m on break right now but I’m completing my novel for my creative writing graduate program.”

She seemed only mildly surprised. “Which graduate program?”

“Iowa Writer’s Workshop.”

“Well, now, that’s impressive.”

He shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth. “Had I known, I would’ve started off with that.”

She threw him a mildly chastising look, even as she began to slice a piece off the pancake. “I’d like to think I come off as someone who would be impressed by a guy getting his Masters in creative writing as opposed to breaking the rules of a cruise ship branded Ringmaster.”

“You’ll be surprised at how mentioning the Iowa Writer’s Workshop does absolutely nothing for most people around here.”

“Maybe I’m not most people. So tell me, Jughead,” she paused and took a sip of her tequila sunrise. “If I were to, say, ask you to escort me outside the ship at our next island stop, would you be too busy writing your great American novel?”

This wasn’t exactly the first time he’d gotten asked out by a guest, but this was absolutely the first time he felt a thrill for it in the pit of his stomach.

She sipped her drink again and he watched her pretty pink lips mover over the straw.  

“It’s against the rules for the crew to fraternize with the guests,” he said, softly, so that only the two of them would hear.

“Well, then,” she breathed. “Now’s the perfect time to impress me with your rule breaking, Jughead.”

tbc

(Image credit: Travel + Leisure)