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aiweirdness · 3 years

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A big neural net reviews a smaller neural net's recipes

I’ve used various neural networks to generate recipes, to varying degrees of success. My earliest recipes were generated with char-rnn, which had to learn everything - spelling, punctuation, words - entirely from scratch. Its recipes were terrible (Swamp Peef and Cheese, anyone? Or Chocolate Chicken Chicken Cake?). Later when I started using GPT-2, I was using a neural net that had already seen a lot of recipes online during internet pre-training, and its recipes looked a lot more realistic (although not entirely realistic - there was that recipe for Black Forest Cake that suggested pouring the batter into a toaster, or the jello recipe that starts with “remove all internal rinds”).

GPT-3, an even more powerful text-generating neural net, has seen so many recipes during its internet pre-training that its recipes are boringly plausible. Bake its Black Forest Cake recipe and you’d probably actually get cake at the end, even if it’s not the best cake in the world. Its recipes aren’t funny at a glance, which is why I haven’t posted any of them - until internet linguist Gretchen McCulloch suggested that, rather than have GPT-3 generate its own recipes, I have it rate char-rnn’s recipes. Readers, it worked.

I prompted GPT-3 with two example recipes from allrecipes, each followed by 3 of their human-written reviews. Then, for the third recipe I inserted one of char-rnn’s recipes:

Chocolate Chocolate Cake

1 cup sugar 1/4 cup butter 1 cup margarine 1 cup cocoa 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup margarine 1/2 cup pecans, chopped 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 egg yolk 1/2 cup sugar 1/4 cup chopped pecans 1 cup sugar 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 cup cocoa 1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, salt, and salt in a large bowl. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture boils and stiff peaks form. Add milk and cook until mixture is completely melted. Remove from heat and stir in sugar and sugar. Add eggs and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Spread in batter. Sprinkle with pecans.

Yield: 1 servings

And then I let GPT-3 add reviews. Would it mention the excessive lakes of vanilla? The complete lack of flour? The foolhardy reliance on the heroic efforts of a single egg yolk to hold things together?

oxtailsandturnovers Rating: 5 stars 03/04/2007 delicious chocolate recipe!!! and the perfect balance between cocoa and chocolate. and they sure were LONGNECKS! big time rave here. lazy w birthdays w friends and family, try this recipe for something chocolate sweet the ppl will talk about over and over.

AKEMIYUNA Rating: 5 stars appraisal 12/03/2008 Excellent for the kids Halloween party. Everyone got so thrilled by seeing something new on Chocolate in sponge. He even likes nuts separately but it will taste good..

BYOMFYABF Rating: 2 stars 10/01/2008 I could only give it a 2 as I had to make changes to it due to ingredients I had. First, I used Dove Dark Chocolate cocoa instead of Hershey's, no nuts, and the mashed bananas and caramel topping were a must. I did use coffee instead of the hot water, and dark margarine instead of regular, therefore I could not use light whipped cream, but I made homemade whipped cream. It had WAY too much flour in it, but i guess it could have been me measuring heavier than I should have. I also only used 2 cups of flour. it was my first bundt cake, so it was huge!!!

Here’s another batch of reviews, this time of a more chaotic char-rnn recipe:

Simple Soup Alaborate Soup Pie

6 each chopped white perserves; ** (optional but ring) 1/2 cup chopped fresh marjoram 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme 1/3 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup thinly sliced onion 1/4 cup onion (chopped) 1/2 teaspoon garlic; minced 2 small carrots 6 can dry white wine 1 tabasco sauce 1 tablespoon sugar 1/2 cup flour, whipped topping 2 tablespoon chili powder

Marinate: Serves 4. Whip and short under boiling. Add the sliced mushrooms and peppers and stir to coat. Stir the sugar and carrots. In large bowl, beat the egg to make a 1 1/2 tablespoons of the flour. Add shanks and stir it well. Spoon into a frying pan before serving.

Recipe By : DonajehLi Koubmanda

Yield: 8 servings

JEFFREY97389 Rating: 2 stars 03/03/2006 Even though everyone said this was great, I thought it was just 'OK!' The perserves gave a strange flavor to the sauce.

MATTJANDTRACER Rating: 2 stars 01/02/2009 This recipe sounded good. When it came out it tasted a bit like a casserole and not a stew. I used venison instead of deer and pork. I liked the way it turned out, but it wasnt very French.

Hammy Rating: 5 stars The g iving this as a gift as it takes about 10 less minutes but using American cheese and not blended with parsley flakes, lime-flavored gelatin, which is my husband's favorite dish from SuperValu. Just happens to be the creamy sauce. Don't worry about a pie crust.

In fact, the more chaotic the char-rnn recipe, the more chaotic the reviews tend to be, as if GPT-3 has picked up on the chaos and is trying to somehow produce reviews that could plausibly be written by whatever weird humans are visiting this mangled recipe website.

Geilded Peanuts & Crabmeat Basil

3 beef, boneless chops, or thyme, 1 lamber and flince of fresh diced in diagonal 1 parsley 2 large leeks (for garnish) 3/4 teaspoon sesame oil, seeded and peeled 1 any jeans'l-tortilla 1 pepper or cinnamon 1/4 cup baesly pinto beans. (Crushed and thawed; minced fine you recipe) 1 tomato base 1 fat in the last 5 inch plates 1 garlic clove; crushed 1/4 cup dijon mustard

In a large bowl set aside. Remove the sides from the heat and saute with a fork and cover and cook on Low for 6 to 6 hours.

Yield: 6 servings

Morales Rating: 0 stars 03/30/2008 I had high expectations for this recipe, but it was an outright flop. I don't know if the measurements were somehow incorrect or what, but I ended up with a watery mess that certainly wasn't crab salad. My girlfriend, who is a new chef liked it fine, but I really wish that the recipe didn't claim that it made six servings when it really made enough for one, if that's what we were going to call it.

Carole Rating: 5 stars Glorious sobs! This recipe will be delicious for a minumum of 1½ Hours to maximum 2½ hours Time to bring lots of fresh sized potatoes in the house or grow in the age may become quite famous

Amanda Rating: 3 stars 11/13/2009 My friend is having a birthday party and will celebrate with Camping. She's in charge of the dishes and wanted to serve food at the campfire. I'll 10th grade, my easy information for her party. It will not sound strange anyway test this task with a note to work rationally.What to take trees, portable tables for chairs, the main meal, food. I personally love the taste of it but has anyone seen a shepherd (wasn't any spices), oysters. It is sufficient

It does kind of make sense that GPT-3’s recipe reviews aren’t directly complaining about the utter weirdness of char-rnn’s recipes. Probably very few of the recipe reviews in GPT-3’s training data involved baffled complaints about nonexistent or repeated ingredients, or apocalyptic levels of recipe failure. So GPT-3 has learned that even the critical reviews tend to fall within a certain sentiment range. It’s interesting that it tries to emulate char-rnn’s primitive neural net glitchiness - I’ve noticed before that GPT-3 seems to be capable of pretending to be a much simpler neural net.

Subscribers get bonus content: After generating a few reviews, GPT-3 would sometimes go on to generate new recipes (such as “BBQ Cheeseburger Salad” which contains lime jello, whipped topping, and sliced black beans). It may have been deliberately trying to make them terrible to fit in with char-rnn’s recipes.

Speaking of AI-generated recipes: there are some absolute disasters in my book on AI, You Look Like a Thing and I Love You: Amazon - Barnes & Noble - Indiebound - Tattered Cover - Powell’s - Boulder Bookstore

#neural networks #gpt-3 #char-rnn #recipes

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courage-a-word-of-justice · 3 years

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Fairy Ranmaru 3 - 5 | TWEWY 3 - 5 | HGPC 6 - 12, 22 - 24 | Back Arrow 7

Adding the tag for Fairy Ranmaru, because that's the only anime I have really set for this season.

Fairy Ranmaru 3

· Update: For some reason, I didn’t quite realise he was speaking English the first time and then repeating himself in Japanese. It’s only a very short scene, which is probably how it happened.

· LOL, that one well-timed beam that only vaguely obscured Uruu’s butt…

· If I heard small Uruu right, he calls her okaasama and not okaasan.

· LOL, Asahi (morning) = Yuuhi (evening) beer.

· I wonder what’s up with Houjou? Is he gonna be evil, like (SPOILERS!) the manager in Mahou Shoujo Ore? Why doesn’t Houjou have wings, anyway? Update: Notice the main quintet get rid of the wings in some shots and then conjure them when necessary. It might just be Houjou hasn’t needed his wings yet…

· Hmm…I’ve been thinking about how Japanese HypMic fans buy lots of CDs and merch (crazy amounts, have you seen the shrines???) to do something similar, but their purpose isn’t really to keep their characters’ careers going in as much as it is to further a plotline…so is it really on the same level as this [buying all the photobooks for the sake of helping the relevant celebrity succeed]? I dunno, you decide.

· LOL, conveniently-placed light beams are really terrible this episode.

· …wow. That got…uh…suggestive (?) (I was really shocked when I saw that the first time. How did they manage to get away with that on late-night TV???)

· We went from Madoka Magica -> moe world -> ukiyoe world…what’s next?

· …uh…suggestive? (x2)

· They really like the pot theme, huh…?

· I dunno if that was meant to be poignant that Ranmaru said Uruu was crying on the inside, but…I laughed at it.

HGPC 6

· Wait, so why was Nodoka’s mum unemployed? Was she moving for work? Update: Seems she quit her job because Nodoka was hospitalised.

HGPC 7

· (no notes, sorry!)

HGPC 8

· SKY appears to be “Sukoyaka”. Update: Yep, later you see Chiyu with the track outfit and it says SKYK.

HGPC 9

· (no notes, sorry!)

HGPC 10

· (no notes, sorry!)

Back Arrow 7

· This general with the big beard kinda looks like Archie (from Pokemon).

· Hmm…I think I like Prax already, with the sole exception her Briheight looks rather similar to a palette-swapped Muga.

TWEWY 3

· This song must mean so much more to people who’ve played the game…(The OP, I mean.)

· Shoumetsu…it means “erasure”, technically. Will wait and see if it means more in context.

· Subaru using his normal voice as Beat. I think Ichiro is also his normal voice, or slightly gruffer and/or lower.

· Tower Records, as anime fans know, is an anime/music store. They’re well known for their “no anime, no life” stuff (exhibit A: the HypMic Rhyme Anima version).

· Ooh, Shibuya Marui. Reminds me of the one I saw in Akihabara.

· One of the signs in the back says “Shibuya First Bank”.

· “…1 Days” (sic).

· Why do I seem to recall Neku can only use one of his badge powers as a time…? Where did I learn that from?...I don’t know.

· The final boss defeated in episode 3. There is surely more around the corner…

· Ohhhhhhhh! That’s a big twist!

TWEWY 4

· Parco = this department store chain. Known mostly for P’PARCO shopping centres.

· *opens calculator on computer* The square root of 10814 is 104…Shibuya 104. Update: It’s 109 in real life, but 104 here.

· Are those…crabs? *Crab Rave plays in background*

· The Reapers at the top have cardinal directions in their surnames, but Uzuki doesn’t. That’s because her first name means the 4th month of the calendar. Update: Kariya has the character for “hunter” in his surname, too.

· LOL, Yoshidaya (in the back, a parody of Yoshinoya).

· I wonder, why is Joshua’s power so similar to Neku’s fire pin…?

· Rhyme has “dream” as one of the kanji in her name.

· Kangaroo Noise…(*thinks about HypMic ARB* Not more kangaroos…) (<- kidding)

· Oh no! I read spoilers before this so I knew Beat was going to become a Reaper, but…oh nooooooooo!

HGPC 11

· Exploding dandelion seeds…now that’s novel!

HGPC 12

· Ah, so here’s Batetemoda’s intro…(he’s such a chuuni…)

HGPC 22

· Skipped a bunch of episodes because I saw them already.

· The decision to write “Asumin” without the U is a bit weird, I think, but still a valid one.

HGPC 23

· (no notes, sorry!)

HGPC 24

· (no notes, sorry!)

Fairy Ranmaru 4

· LOL, he (Juka) tossed poor Bakkun…

· LOL, censorship bottles.

· Brass ring. I’d never heard of the term before and I’m an English (kinda-)native speaker. (Technically Cantonese is my first language, but English is my best.)

· Did you see Uruu’s rubber duck?

· Bakkun’s a couch now! Cute!

· …so basically, Juka is a healer. Got it.

· Note how the F is green now…

· I always look away at the kiss scenes. They’re a bit of a waste of time, methinks.

· LOL, the randomly-placed effects and beams over Juka’s bits.

· Oh, Sunflowers. That would explain why Starry Night is Juka’s painting in the OP, like Uruu’s is the Great Wave.

· …and here’s Starry Night now, right on cue.

· JKRM???? (Shouldn’t that be L…?)

TWEWY 5

· The A in “CAT” looked slightly like it had cat ears.

· Wait, if this was with flip phones back in the day, did they still have apps then…? Or was it programs?

· Ooh, orange badge.

· ”Fresh Humburger”, LOL.

Fairy Ranmaru 5

· Note the opening segment has a plain chatreuse background for Ranmaru (aside from a scratched effect, like someone’s rubbed a pencil lead over it), fireworks for Homura, the Wave for Uruu, Starry Night for Juka and…I don’t know what Takara’s is, but it’s bright yellow and has spots on the edges.

· LOL, Bakkun’s use of sauces. If they only eat curry, why do they have tomato sauce and mustard, anyway…?

· I don’t think I ever properly understood what “out to lunch” meant…”temporarily not in command of one's mental faculties.” There you go!

· The sign’s F is gold this time…

· Yeah, around when she said “you bought all my vegetables”, I noticed the boxes said “carrots”, “potatoes” and so on. I didn’t even know “carrot” had kanji until yesterday, believe it or not (and I learnt that from a HypMic fan comic…*sweatdrops* Samatoki hates carrots).

· I dunno why, but men in anime sure seem to be proud of eating meat…

· LOL, weirdly-placed light beams over Takara’s butt. (I don’t know whether to call the staff “cowards” for refusing to showing the full butt or not.)

· Even the money has pots on it! I love how this anime keeps on going with that joke…(lel?)

· As it turns out, fuhen means “unchanging”. Yaochou likewise means “fixed game”, but it’s a pun on the word for “grocer” (八百屋, readyaoya and sharing the first two kanji, hence the English translation of “Fixed Grocer”).

· Oh! I had to think about it a little, but Ruise = Seiru (sale) backwards. (Update: Sort of, there's a line in the middle that has to be covered for with the I.) “Oshida”, I think, is meant to mean “authority”, so to put that with Fuhen would mean something like “eternal authority [over Ruise and her dad, due to their debt]”. Update: You know when the bull gets pushed out of the ring? That’s called oshidashi.

· Hmm? That star badge Takara wears in human form seems to be that yellow thing on his shoulder in fairy form.

· Hmm…come to think of it, “bull” was the name of a type of stock market speculator…What a pun!

· Why does Takara keep licking his lips???

#simulcast commentary #Fairy Ranmaru #Back Arrow #The World Ends With You #Subarashiki Kono Sekai #Healin' Good PreCure #Chesarka watches F-Ran #Chesarka watches TWEWY #Chesarka watches Back Arrow #Chesarka watches HGPC

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bapyess1r · 4 years

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IMAGINE:

Exposing Sam to your weeb culture. 😎✌🏽

He watches you get dressed in your closet cosplay, ready for this convention you’ve been spewing off at the mouth about for months now

He agreed to go as he’d never been to something like that (boy he was in for it)

It’s Day Zero and you leave promptly in time to get to the center to pick up your pre-registered passes when you get a phone call

A friend of yours was holding the yearly Day Zero hotel party and extended the invitation to you both

Walking around the convention area outside, the streets were lined with people already cosplaying and a string of hotels (you guys got the cheapest one)

You show up to the party and he realizes everyone is trashed and playing a variation of game, a giant beer pong table in the middle of the room where your friends are screaming the lyrics to Part of Your World from the Little Mermaid whilst absolutely acing his shot

His eyes light up and he shakes your shoulders like a little kid. “Babe, can I?” He asks.

“You’re literally a grown man- why are you asking me?” You laugh, encouraging him to go play. So he makes himself a drink of Peppermint Johnny Walker and joins the game, meanwhile you watch some others play Smash Bros.

By the end of the night, you’re stumbling back to the hotel and crash immediately

The next morning, you managed to get up early as you had done every con. And Sam hates it instantly

“I don’t wanna go now!” He whines but you convince him to get up, for you needed his assistance getting into your cosplay

Sam can be convinced to dress up as well. If you succeed, he’ll dress as the Joker. If not, it’s a graphic tee and jeans for you. Either way you’re just happy he’s present

You blast anime openings as you get dressed and Sam bobs his head to a few of them

When you complete getting dressed, Sam immediately wants to take pictures of you. He’s your personal photographer. And he takes DAMN good ones of you as the day goes on

He stops others to take pictures of them as well

Will carry your props when you get tired

Holds all of your stuff when someone asks for a picture of you and clears out of the way

Gets confused when he sees his first furry. “Um....Y/N?” He makes a face of utter confusion and points at the furry fox waving at him and you just laugh and take his hand, leading him away

When you go to the Maid Cafe, he immediately wants to buy you a French maid outfit for the bedroom ;)

Expect all of this to happen when you hit the Vendors:

he will stop to get his face painted

buy all of the Japanese snacks (and eating them all within minutes, complaining that they were too small or that there wasn’t enough but delicious)

he will buy you every plush you lay eyes on (no matter how big or small)

he spends time in the Steampunk booth trying on hats and glasses, ends up buying a cool jacket and wearing it around the con

He absolutely purchases a samurai sword

Reacts like a child when he spots the Star Wars droids rolling around the room

Absolutely joins a Stormtrooper group

When you go to the art dealers, he looks at tee shirts, recognizing characters from shows you’ve shown him on keychains

He’s impressed by the quality of people’s work

He takes a peek inside the hentai tent and leaves traumatized (poor bean lmao)

You play several video games in the Game Room. He almost always ends up trying to hustle some poor kid, betting $20 on each game

Wins every game of Cards Against Humanity and Crabs Against Humidity. “A lot goes on up here in the ol’ noodle.” He says proudly.

Suggests to have sushi at Sushi King for lunch and dinner (he can’t get over the Dragon Rolls and Monkey Rolls)

When you do anime karaoke, he’s recording every second of it thinking how cute it was to see you imitating your best anime girl voice and dancing around as others in the room sang along

You visit panels and his favorite is the AC: Black Flag panel. You offer to stay a little longer since he was enjoying the conversations there

When the evening dies down, you head back to the hotel to change into Rave Gear. He eyes you carefully as your clothing had changed into something scandalous. Fishnets and short shorts with sneakers that lit up and changed colors. He bought a similar pair so he wore them too.

Your outfit definitely puts him in that mood 🤤

He quickly finds out that the convention is literally just nerdy drunk culture as you go to a pregame party before the rave

He buys glows sticks and light up glasses

The man is in awe of the light show and loosens up when he realized there were people that danced TEN TIMES worse than he did

Fist pumps all night

Frequently leaves the room when it gets too hot

He stands on the balcony outside where there was another DJ. This crowd had been there deadass all day. He chuckles as he watches them, sparking up a cigarette as he nods to the music

You guys end the first day and he groans when you explain to him that you’re going to do it all over again in the morning

Only because he actually had fun, he lets it happen and coffee becomes life juice for the rest of the weekend for him

He asks to go again next year knowing he’d be prepared this time and you grin at him excitedly and happy that you could share this will him

Author’s Note: okay but HOW cute would that actually be tho 😭😭💖💖💖 What anime do you guys think he’d watch lol

#uncharted 4 #sam drake #uncharted #samuel drake #samuel drake x reader #uncharted x reader #sam drake fanfiction #uncharted imagine #sam drake imagine #uncharted 4 a thief's end #uncharted lost legacy #uncharted headcanon #uncharted headcanons

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heyimverydrew · 3 years

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“He Who Calls 2 : The Hooded Witch”

“Tell us a story” yelled the small child.

It was 1778 and the Witch by the name of Atunde River sat in the dark forrest with a bowl of water between her legs. They were running away from the evils of slavery.

Atunde had dark brown skin like a freshly aged oak tree. She was plus size and she had black dreads down to her knees. She was 26 years old and a leader of this escape. She was leading dozens to freedom just as she’d done before. She wore a long brown dress decorated with flowers and her eyes were a dark brown.

“Quiet” Atunde muttered.

The three small children sat around her.

“So you want a story,” said Atunde “stare into the bowl”.

“Why” asked Nasir.

“To see the story of course” said Atunde as she closed her eyes “ you have to stare into the bowl. This is a story of a witch in a time far from here. A witch named ‘The Hooded Witch’ “.

The date was February 3rd 2021. The Philadelphia Police surrounded City Hall with their squad cars, guns drawn and spotlights flashed on the building. They yelled through a speaker as Bryan stood in the Attorney General’s office. Gun drawn to his head.

Bryan was a 6 ft Black man and he stood there sweating as lights flashed through the window.

“Tell them I didn’t do it” said Bryan

“Bryan I-“ began the Attorney General

“Tell them I didn’t kill that cop. He attacked us! It wasn’t me.”

“Bryan if you put the gun down we can talk about reduced charges” said the general.

“Fuck that!” Bryan said waving the gun in his face.

The secretary sat on the floor and she screamed with every wave.

“Shutup!” Screamed Bryan.

The door was shut and locked but suddenly a noise was heard from the other side.

“I ordered everybody out who the fuck is that?” Said Bryan.

“I don’t know” yelled the Attorney General.

The steel lock above the door knob began to glow a bright gold. So dark it was almost white and the lock gave off this color as it turned.

“I’ll shoot” yelled Bryan.

The turning stopped. And the door flew opened.

The secretary screamed. The attorney general was pushed to the floor. And Bryan stood there gun drawn.

In the hall stood a tall figure standing 6’4. He wore a long black jacket that hung above his feet, a a black bullet proof vest with dark blue horizontal plates, black boots and a hood pulled up over his head. A dark blue mask covered his nose down to his chin and all that could be seen was this light brown skin mans chestnut eyes. Head and chest high he stood there ready as Bryan whispered “The Hooded Witch”.

“Quite a mess” muttered the Hooded Witch.

“Don’t fucking move sissy” said Bryan as he waved the gun.

“Grandma what big mouth you have” hissed The Hooded Witch as he turned to the Attorney General and muttered “sleep”. The attorney general was halfway crawling to his desk when he collapsed and fell asleep.

“Why’d you do that?!” Yelled Bryan in a panic.

“He has a magnum in his desk. He was going to decorate the walls with the little brains that you do have. Now stop.“

Bryan froze unable to move only breath. The Hooded Witch got close and knocked the gun from his hand and grabbed him by the shirt as he pulled him along.

The secretary screamed and The Hooded Witch said softly “breath slowly”. She stopped screaming and calmly said “I’m breathing”.

The Hooded Witch laughed and walked out as he pulled Bryan along. The Hooded Witch pulled him down the empty halls of the city hall office building and he turned the corner to the exit and there stood 5 police officers guns drawn.

“Fuck” The Hooded Witch turned around as the police ordered him to come back in disillusioned yells.

The Hooded Witch walked calmly almost as if he was on a runway. “Its ok” The Hooded Witch muttered to Bryan “I like pigs in a blanket”. The Witch pulled out a vile filled with a clear potion and he smashed it on the ground. The puddle grew a yard in just a few seconds and as the police ran behind him and drew their guns the puddle sprung up from the ground into 5 different portions. It wrapped around each officer and became a hard puddy, throwing them across the office, some on the ceiling, others into the elevator. The Hooded Witch smiled and dragged Bryan to another exit. All you could hear were the yells of police as The Hooded Witch dragged Bryan along. Bryan in a daze.

The Hooded Witch kicked open the stair well door and there stood 12 police and they opened fire immediately.

The bullets stopped immediately in mid air and began to circulate around The Hooded Witch as if he was the sun.

The Hooded Witch walked away and pulled Bryan. The bullets continued to revolve around them as the police followed and shot. One officer grabbed The Hooded Witch by the shoulder and he grabbed the officers wrist and spun breaking it. He then sent his palm into the chest of another officer simultaneously using his power of heart stimulation sending a shock that threw him a yard off his feet. He ducked a kick from another officer and rose to give a round house kick that sent him slamming through a glass door. The Hooded Witch threw the long bottom of his jacket behind him as he turned around and grabbed Bryan. He grabbed him as the bullets circulated, and they slowly began to buzz and slowly became black and yellow as they turned into Bees. The bees surrounded The Hooded Witch as he approached a office door and kicked it open. Before walking in The Hooded Witch muttered “Kolu” which was Yoruba for “attack”.

The bees that were once bullets surrounded the officers and stung. They sprang shots that then because more bees and attacked even more. Over a hundred bees stinging at them.

The Hooded Witch closed the door and locked it. “Be with me” said the Witch to Bryan. Bryan snapped out of it and backed up yelling “what did you do”.

“I saved you” said The Hooded Witch, he then grabbed Bryan and walked directly through the wall to Bryan’s surprise. They were now on a train platform at the 13th and market station.

Bryan yelled and backed away.

“So lets talk Bryan. I know you didn’t kill that cop. And I know you plan to skip town. In your pocket is a new ID and enough cash to start over.”

“Why are you doing this?” Asked Bryan.

“I help you. You help me. Before you go you’re going to tell me where they’re keeping the women being held against their will. The motels keep changing but I want to know where they are.”

“And if I don’t tell you?” Asked Bryan

“You’ll find out why the scariest people in this city whisper my name. Now tell me. Or you’ll be under this train and not on it.”

Bryan gulped.

“So, where are they?”

“Wow” said Nasir as he looked away from the water.

“Ms.River he’s like you” said Bryanna as she sat on a log swinging her feet.

“He beat that slave patrol like” started MBaku as he stood up and kicked and threw his fist.

“Be quiet” said Atunde in a whisper as she held her laugh “he is indeed powerful. But a Witch in love is a Witch with a weakness”.

They all stared into the bowl as they continued to watch.

The date was February 14th 2021. It was a bright warm night in a beautiful 5 star restaurant in center city. Caleb sat at the table with his fiancé Demarcus. He wore a dark blue turtle neck with black sacks and pointy black dress shoes. Demarcus wore a light gray suit with a dark gray tie that Caleb picked out himself. Caleb ate his crab soup as he listened to Demarcus rave about his case.

“I’ve been calling you all afternoon to talk about this” said Demarcus.

“Yea I was at the gym sorry,” said Caleb.

“You’re taking this pilates class pretty serious” said Demarcus.

Caleb smiled, he was really spending the last 6 months at a Dojo in south Philly learning Martial Arts.

“So I won the case with barely any fight. Its like I was that good or they weren’t even trying” said Demarcus.

“I think you’re that good” said Caleb smiling.

“Of course you do” said Demarcus smiling back.

“So I need your help with the Fishville slasher case “ said Demarcus.

“I told you I’m off that case,” said Caleb “I just don’t feel comfortable with it ok?”

“Babe” began Demarcus “this shit is weird. You’re the King of weird.”

“Wow my desire to sleep with you ever again has died” said Caleb putting down his spoon.

“Look at you on the downside again” said Demarcus laughing “no I meant you’re good at weird cases. Think about it. A man walks into a police station and confesses to a string of murders. He can’t remember anything about the last 72 hours other than the fact that he confronted someone that he calls ‘ The Hooded Witch’ “. The police search his home and find nothing. No weapons, no evidence, nothing. We don’t even know if he’s the real slasher.“

“Of course we do,” said Caleb.

“Oh are you trusting this Hooded Witch guy?” Asked Demarcus.

“Who says they’re a guy” says Caleb.

“Sorry babe” Demarcus says quietly.

“And I’m just saying they’ve done good. They freed those girls from that Motel last week and they captured The Jester. The police couldn’t even do that. Anthony Kale killed 32 people.”

Demarcus stares into space.

“I hate when you do that,” says Caleb.

“No I was just thinking how The Jester lost all his memory as well. All he could remember was the ‘Hooded Witch’ “.

“Well what are you going to do,” said Caleb changing the subject.

“I’m going to get him out.” said Demarcus.

“What?” Asked Caleb.

“The police didn’t find sufficient evidence. Mr. Bestwell has a history of mental illness and his confession wasn’t properly recorded. I can get him out easily.”

“Please don’t” begged Caleb “ you are possibly freeing a murderer?”

“And you want me to send a man to prison who we aren’t certain is a killer” spat Demarcus “I thought you were against things like that?”

“Demarcus,” said Caleb sternly “you can’t help free him. He confessed and the murders stopped what more do we need? Please just trust me.”

“…Okay” said Demarcus “I won’t. I’ll let them give him 40-50 years.”

“Good,” said Caleb “so its settled. You’ll thank me later. You don’t want to be known as the guy who got the fishville slasher out of prison.”

“Right” said Demarcus as he forced a smile.

The children looked away from the water.

“And what happened next Ms. Atunde?” Asked Nasir.

“The man with the knives stayed imprisoned. But Demarcus resented Caleb.”

“Why?” Asked Bryanna.

“Well,” began Atunde “Demarcus was more concerned with fame and prosperity. And he lost a case he could’ve easily won. So one day. He disappeared. No warning, he just left. After this Caleb broke down. His powers became unstable. And he hurt those close to him.”

“How” asked Bryanna.

“He was filled with rage, and he began to perform dark magics “ began Atunde “and his friend Tatianna grew concerned. Her grandmother and her coven attempted to bind The Hooded Witches powers. And he called the darkest most unnatural storm with vibrant unnatural lightning and razor sharp winds. He nearly killed them. After being disowned by Tatianna he willingly bound his powers and left them with the grandmother.”

“Whoa” said MBaku “and what happened after?”

“Caleb disappeared” said Atunde “look into the water.”

The date was June 28th 2021. Caleb sat on his car, a 78 blue corvette and he stared into the sunset. He was in a town just outside of Las Vegas. He was pulled over on the side of the road. He wore a white tank top, black jeans and black boots with studded heels. He watched as the sun left them again. He loved the orange sky and he loved watching the sun leave. One of the few joys that he still had.

“Thanks come again” said Caleb as he stood behind the counter of the small gas station. Customer after customer.

“You going to smile?” Asked Kya as she got to the counter. Kya was six feet, dark brown skin and she had long black braids down to her butt. She had several piercings in each of her ears and it was safe to say she was gorgeous.

“No, but I will tell you to grab one more “Caleb said pointing to her shampoo as he chewed his gum “buy one get one free.”

“See that’s why I like you” said Kya going to grab another bottle and putting it on the counter “you look out.”

“I guess I do, “said Caleb ringing her out and bagging her things.

“Look” said Kya “me and my girls are going to this club on the strip. Its called Elite Experience. Its for Black Queens like you and Black girls LIKE ME” said Kya alluding to being Trans “you should meet us there.”

“I work until 1am” said Caleb.

“The world is meant to be lived in, work will always be calling“ said Kya.

“Im good,” said Caleb.

“Okay” Kya said as she grabbed her receipt.

Caleb watched her leave as he thought.

“Stare into the water” said Atunde “this is when it gets good.”

Caleb walked into the club. Wearing a black hooded top with studs down the sides and the same Black pants and boots from his shift. He didn’t have much time to change.

“Mmm hey” said a white man as he approached Caleb “ drink?”

“No,” said Caleb as he walked passed him.

“Caleb?!” Said Kya as she waved him over to her private table in VIP.

“Hi,” said Caleb as he sat.

“Is he not your type” asked Kya.

“Hes really not” said Caleb.

“What is your type?” Asked Kya.

“Uh,” began Caleb “ tall, Black, dark hair, nice eyes” Caleb realized he was describing Demarcus and stopped.

“Its that bad huh babe?” said Kya as she sat there in a tan tube top, her hair pulled up in a high pony tail as she sat in her black skin tight jeans “do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” said Caleb “well maybe. How-… how do you know if you aint shit?”

Kya laughs as Caleb stares.

“Aint shit motherfuckers don’t reflect they protect their ego. Whoever it is .. aint worth your peace.”

“Wow,” said Caleb “Thats poetic I give you that. So whats your story? Lets invade your space”

“Ok well I’ve lived here 6 months” said Kya “I moved to LA from Brooklyn to pursue modeling. Fell in love with a dude in Vegas. Moved here. He wasn’t who he said he was so I left. So a girl bartends to make it now.I mean Im only 25 so Im not tripping. But I won’t lie sometimes surviving alone is a fucking horror movie.”

“Tell me about it,” said Caleb “ I’ve been here for about 3 months. I wanted something new. Im from Philly by the way were practically neighbors”

“Were nothing alike” spat Kya as they both laughed.

“Shade” said Caleb.

“See a smile” Kya said as Caleb rolled his eyes laughing.

Kya looked at her phone and said “Im meeting a friend outside do you mind waiting here?”

“Want me to come?” Asked Caleb

“No but watch my purse I’ll only be a second” said Kya as she tucked her phone into her purse and strutted away.

“Ok Ill be right here” said Caleb excited to have met a friend.

Caleb sat there as he waited. Thirty minutes passed now and he grabbed Kya’s purse as he stood up, ready to investigate.

“Caleb?” Said a voice behind him. Caleb turned and it was his old boss Evelyn.

“Evelyn hi, “ said Caleb “um what are you doing here?”

“Oh Im here for a wedding, a couple of the guys came here. My its been what 3 or 4 months?”

“Yeah…” said Caleb”

“So you ever figure out where Demarcus went? I just want to say it was terrible how he left you and well us. He left his friends to break it to you. And the spat you two had online it was just..”

“Yea I don’t know” Caleb stated “I mean he practices law in England or something now. I don’t really want to talk about him.”

“Its ok” finished Evelyn “I just want to say a guy who looked like him wasn’t truth worthy anyway. I mean why would he be with you? “

Caleb stared.

“Im sorry,” said Evelyn as she laughed “Ive been drinking.”

“And unfortunately I haven’t” started Caleb “look Evelyn. I don’t work for you anymore so I don’t have to pretend. You’re as tart as your Christmas cookies which really shouldn’t be complicated. But you’re as complicated as that $3 drink that couldn’t put a fly on its ass. Now look, I don’t like you, I don’t wish to engage with you and more importantly I have nothing to prove. I wish Demarcus well but we were equals. Him looking better in your eyes or anyone else’s doesn’t change that. Now excuse me,” said Caleb as he walked away and stormed back to say “and expect an anonymous report very soon. I think the Smith’s would like to know that their lawyers have discussed very private information with rival investors. Now Sip on that in your fake Louis, those tilted ass kitten heels and that brass fake ass gold bracelet. Goodbye.”

Caleb stormed out.

“And that’s why I gave him a good reference,” said Evelyn to herself “…I knew this bracelet was fake”

Caleb searched outside the club and the strip for 3 hours. No sign of Kya. He even call Vegas police who were no help. No one cared but Caleb.

It was now the next day. “Tell Mark I won’t be in today” said Caleb as he sat on the hood of his car watching another sunset in the desert. He wore a Formation World Tour tank top, ripped stone washed jeans and white tennis shoes. Kya had been missing for a day and he was determined to find out what happened.

Two white men and one white woman stood over Kya as she laid barely conscious tied to a steel slab in their living room. They stayed in a expensive home by the beach. Each window tinted in the dark luxurious home.

“I need to feed” said the woman vampire Alexandria.

“Go” said Leonardus the lead vampire as Ryan stared on, rashes formed around their mouths as they usually did when it was time to feed.

Alexandria grabbed Kya by the throat and stood over her as she sucked her essence. Kya suffocated and veins filled her neck. Her essence was invisible but slowly left her and filled Alexandria as the rash around her mouth vanished.

“Not too much” said Leonardus” we need her to last another day. “

Kya cried as she muttered “help”.

“Ok think Caleb” said Caleb as he went through her purse that was on the hood of his car. He couldn’t unlock her phone but he saw that her last text was from a man named Leon. Caleb went through her purse and found a card for a place called “Leon Enterprises. He was on the right track.

“Vampires?!” Said Nasir as he and the other kids stared away from the water.

“Vampires,” whispered Atunde “the kind that live long and suck your life force. Caleb was smart. He studied and found that Black women all across the land were disappearing and turning up drained to death. But Caleb was able to link Leonardus to one other incident. And upon learning that he was dealing with vampires The Hooded Witch was ready to fight.”

“Without Magic?” Asked Bryanna

“Stare into the water,” said Atunde.

The date was June 30th 2021. Caleb walked around the beach house. It was 6:00pm and almost sunset. The street was quiet , and he finally found the house that he’d looked up online. The only house he could find that was linked to a man named Leonardus Hines. And Caleb noticed that all of the windows were tinted. “Could it be anymore obvious” Caleb muttered.

Kya laid on the steel slab as the three vampires stood around her. All of their eyes were red with veins and bright red rashes surrounded their mouths and chins.

“This is the last of her” says Leonardus “so eat wisely”.

“Please” begged Kya “don’t. Please. If you let me go I won’t say a thing.”

“But who could you tell,” says Leonardus “we chose you because no one cares about you.”

“I do, “ says Caleb as he walked into the room “and for a man 300 years old you sure have a cold heart.”

Leonardus growled.

“Maybe I’ll put a stake through it” said Caleb puling out a stake that he carved.

“Caleb” muttered Kya with a smile.

Alexandria charged at Caleb and he kicked a foot stool at her knocking her over. Ryan charged at him at twice the speed of a human and Caleb bashed a vile of pure garlic on his face. He collapsed holding his melting face.

Leonardus appeared to the right of Caleb almost out of no where and he pushed him clean into the air on the other side of the room. Caleb held his side as he laid there. He got up and charged at Leonardus and attempted to stab him with the stake, he ducked with ease, then he ducked a punch and grabbed Caleb’s foot as he attempted a kick and he flipped him into the air. Caleb lied beside Kya on the ground.

“Witches are intuitive” said Leonardus “strong for humans. It makes you good fighters. But better for food.”

Caleb stood up and he held his side. He knew his last attempt was a spell, if he had enough magic to do so.

“Thin as air,clear as water, now be seen, in this order. Thin as air, clear as water, be transparent, in this order.”

Leonardus laughed as he stood there.

“Im too old for your magics” said Leonardus.

“Your windows look pretty new,” said Caleb as the tinted windows began to lose its tint as if it were dirty with fog and now being cleaned. The windows became clear and the sunlight shined through.

Alexandria now near the door escaped wisely. As the sun shined down Ryan and Leonardus turned to a ball of fire with their clothes and then into ash smoke that filled the air.

“Kya are you okay?” Said Caleb as he ran to her side to untie her.

“I am now” said Kya as she got off the slab with Caleb’s assistance “lets get out of here.”

“Agreed” said Caleb as they walked out of the vampires nest. Free.

“How did he have magic again?” Asked Bryanna as she broke the vision staring away from the water.

“Tatianna begged her grandmother to restore Caleb’s powers after having a vision of his death. And the binding was ended. Unfortunate for the vampires though. Look into the water.”

It was December 15th 2021 in an abandoned train station in Paris. Alexandra and her friend Saleena walked into the station with Breelyn a very beatiful Black Woman.

“So where’s the party?” Asked Breelyn.

“Who said anything about a party” said Alexandria as she turned around with a rash around her mouth and her eyes now red with veins.

“Do you eat anything else” asked The Hooded Witch as he stood at the top of the stares of the station and he looked down at them “because when we say Black Only this isn’t what we mean”.

The Hooded Witch stood there in his long trench coat, bullet proof vest, dark blue mask and his black boots. He held in his right hand a 4 foot wand with a orange crystal at the base.

Breelyn ran passed The Hooded Witch screaming as she exited.

“Good idea” said The Hooded Witched as he looked back “I like her.”

Other vampires appeared now, 16 of them circling Caleb.

“Everyone gets some” said Caleb “trust me…. tan imọlẹ!”

The wand began to glow with bright orange solar energy that grew by the second and lit the whole station as Caleb struck it on the ground. So much light that it lit every station in the tunnel. All 16 vampires gone.

“Theres more” said Atunde as they stared into the water.

It was December 30th 2021 and Caleb strutted through his luxury duplex and he called his secretary. He was now a private investigator under CK Investigations.

“Yes Caleb” said Kya as she entered the room with files.

“The nest in Paris was a success,” said Caleb as he threw down his leather jacket.

“”Boss..” began Kya.

“I mean summoning the sun was messier than I thought but hey,” said Caleb as he walked into his office and turned on the lights “remind me to return Malachi’s wand.”

“Boss someone is here to see you,” said Kya.

Caleb turned and Demarcus rose from his couch.

“I think we need to talk,” said Demarcus.

“What happened?!” Asked Mbaku.

“I’ll tell that story when you get older,” began Atunde “ but The Hooded Witch became a powerful hero. A hero who flew into the sky, fought enemies from the skies and one day like me moved objects with his mind. Like others with extraordinary powers he became a hero to man and he led those who became heroes by supernatural or evolutionary means. He became so strong that the Gods confronted him. To make sure he’d never rise for evil again.”

They stared into the water and saw Caleb levitating in space surrounded by three stars. The date was October 30th 2029. The stars buzzed and nothing more. But Caleb understood their communication as he flew in a steady motion, his trench coat flowing.

The first star buzzed, the star was a bright yellow.

“I have no desire to rule the planet” answered Caleb.

The second star buzzed, the star was a bright blue.

“I saved the earth from demons, other worldly beings and the White Witch. If I wanted to destroy-“ Caleb was interrupted.

The third star buzzed, this star was a bright white.

“My calling is to protect. Nothing more. I’m in control. “ answered Caleb. And the stars disappeared.

“And Demarcus?” Asked Bryanna as they stared away from the enchanted water.

“Demarcus was a good man but a hurt man and he found out that hes not as human as you’d believe him to be. He was a ikooko”

“A wolf..” Said Bryanna.

“ A WereWolf, “ said Atunde “on his 30th birthday he became a Wolf. But he didn’t turn into a animal. He gathered strength, speed and strong senses. He too became his own hero in London. But not before a very big fight between him and the Witch.”

“Another?!” Said Bryanna.

They looked into the water and saw a vision of Demarcus and Caleb standing on a busy train platform in London. The date was April 24th 2022.

“I don’t want to fight you..” Said Caleb as he stood there in a black hoody, camouflage pants and a black face mask.

“You not wanting to fight that’s new” spat Demarcus as he stood on the platform with ripped clothing and ripped sneakers, dirt in his hair and on his face.

“D this is the Ikooko talking, “ said Caleb as Tatianna stood behind him holding a pink crystal.

“Now?” Asked Tatianna.

“Not yet” said Caleb”.

“You know most magic doesn’t work on us Wolves,” said Demarcus “but that doesn’t stop you huh Caleb? Always in control , with magic, persuasion, manipulation. You are the reason I STARTED OVER.”

“I’m sorry” said Caleb “ I should’ve been honest. But now I can’t let you hurt anybody else.”

“Well then lets go” said Demarcus as he charged toward him, pupils dilated and veins growing down his arms.

“Now!” said Caleb.

“Reverse, steady, do not flow” said Tatianna as everyone around them stayed in a 5 second loop. Repeating the same words and actions. The cameras also stayed on a loop as they watched. Tatianna continued to chant.

Caleb reached behind his back to pull out a chain that was covered with inscriptions. And they fought. Caleb wrapped the chains around his right fist and swung at Demarcus. Demarcus ducked and kicked Caleb so hard he flew into the air and slid a yard back.

“Keep going!” Screamed Caleb to Tati.

Caleb approached Demarcus blocking a punch with his forearm and he sent a kick into his chest that barely moved him. Caleb slapped him across the face with the chain and ducked a punch. He then rose to uppercut him with the chain. He swung with the chain again and Demarcus grabbed it and pull, a pull so strong Caleb fell on the tracks. A train pursued. Demarcus jumped down, grabbed him and jumped in the air with Caleb to the other platform. As they landed Demarcus punched him to the ground. Caleb now on the ground lifted his foot into Demarcus’ face and he said “fasten” as the chains animated and wrapped around Demarcus’s body. Demarcus fell to his knees.

“I know you’re in there” said Caleb “and we’re going to figure this out”.

Caleb punched Demarcus unconscious.

“Whoa” said Nasir staring away from the vision in the water.

“But as far as their relationship,” began Atunde River “ Ill tell you that story one day. Love can be painful, tricky and ever changing.”

“I like them together,” said Mbaku “why don’t they just work it out?”

“Who says they don’t?” Said Atunde smiling.

With the wave of her hand the fire extinguished.

“The Hooded Witch lived both a hard and happy life” said Atunde “ but he lived. And that is the story of The Hooded Witch.”

2 notes · View notes

grailbot143 · 4 years

Photo

Welcome Back Everyone!

If you would like to submit art work for this week’s episode please do so before Friday when I will post the recap and update the Master List. Just click here to submit! If you would like to ask me anything or comment on my commentary. . . all asks are screened for spoilers. Just click here to send an ask

Yeah. . . I'm not even gonna briefcap that

What did we learn?

I'm not interested in watching Uncle Grandpa

Steven can summon his shield when he wants to protect his family

Amethyst looks uber cool in them sunglasses

** And So On To The List Of Lists **

Consolidated lingering Questions

The Gems:

Where do they come from? I now know they are not from Earth, they are from somewhere in spaceHomeworld, further away than our ocean can get in a 30 foot (10ish meters) diameter cylinder from the ocean floor.

How is power derived from them?

What about the gemmed enemies? the monsters used to be humanoid, how does that work, why??

What are Amethyst's unique Powers? Ball-rolling. Fire attack? Uses shapeshifting more.

During Ocean Gem it is mentioned by Lapis Lazuli that the only thing the Crystal Gems care about is Earth, but Pearl showed her complete disdain for humans on multiple occasions particularly Keep Beach City Weird where she said humans were insignificant. . . . so what about Earth do they care about so much? Pearl, at the very least, doesn't care about humans or Earth. She's only here because she was following Rose. Amethyst was born here.

What’s the deal with Amethyst’s strange relationship with gravity? seriously, did this just go away?

Who all can fuse? Pearl and Amethyst = Opal and Amethyst and Garnet = Sugilite and Garnet and Amethyst and Pearl = Alexandrite and Steven and Connie = Stevonnie

How old are each of them? It’s suggested that they’re centuries millennia old. Amethyst acts a bit like a teenager. Is she that much younger than Pearl? Where does Garnet fall? Pearl and Garnet are more than 5000 years old, probably much older. Why is Steven the only boy? Amethyst is around 4 to 5000 years old. Due to his dad's age and the fact that his dad is human, Steven must be less than 20. Based on his relationship with Connie, I'm gonna put his age at around 12.

How many boy gems are there everywhere?

Why did the Gems destroy the Galaxy Warp? It seemed like Pearl wanted to go home during Space Race, but she obviously can't deal with any possible relations with the other Gems in Warp Tour.

What happened between the Gems from the homeworld and the Crystal Gems? There's gotta be a HUGE backstory here. . . .

Does all that Crystal Gem vs Home Gem battle have anything to do with Rose's decision to create Steven?

The World:

Everything seems to be happening in Beach City. Are there other Gems in other towns? Like every town has a team of Crystal Gems protecting it? Or is this town some center for universal negativity, so the Gems are focused here? It seems pretty obvious that the Crystal Gems are the only ones on Earth. . . They stated no one else on Earth can use the warp pads.

Why on Earth are the Crystal Gems on Earth?

Where did Lion take Steven and Connie for training? To Rose's Armory Is that place, or a similar one, available to all gems? There's been no evidence of other Gems having similar places. Do you need a familiar to take you there? Apparently not. Pearl can take you there. How does Lion know the way? It's pretty obvious that Lion was sent to Steven by his mom. . . but still not understanding his powers and knowledge

Warp Pads. . . . Galaxy Warp. How did the Galaxy warp get here? Why is it here? Why is it broken? The Galaxy Warp is the only warp pad on Earth that leads off Earth. So it's obvious why it is here. I'm thinking the Crystal Gems broke the Galaxy Warp to avoid dealings with the other Gems. . . BUT WHY?

The House on the Beach:

This is more a curiosity, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the fight that took off that statue’s hands. I bet it involved Sugilite.

What is up with the living temple inside the house? Beating hearts, waterfalls, a pool for getting rid of evil spirits, a holodeck run by the imagination, dimensional shenanigans. Need much more history and understanding here.

Townies:

What’s up with Onion and his dad? Are they from some other planet?

Why would you make a place called Fish Stew Pizza?

What would make one believe a potato can provide protection from a multi-dimensional being. .. . also, are the Gems multi-dimensional? I don't see that.

Rose Quartz:

Why does Rose have to die to give Steven his superpowers?

Is Rose even dead? _pretty sure this is answered_ (-doubts-)

What would make her choose that? a prophesy? desire to give Greg a kid? gonna die anyway?

Did she give up her gem to HAVE a kid or to IMBUE a kid with the gem? My current theory is that the gem is a being that creates a physical form, and that Rose stopped being Rose in order to be Steven (sorta) as I think Rose is still part of the gem (not dead). So essentially Rose's physical form is gone, replaced by Steven's physical form.

Would removing the gem from Steven give Rose back her form, leaving Steven as a common human 12-year-old?

Lion:

What all does Lion know? How did he get his powers? He's a creation of Rose's, so she gave him his powers. He might even still be connected to her somehow.

Characters

The Crystal Gems

Pearl

Garnet

Amethyst

(dead?) Rose Quartz

Steven

Other Gems

Lapis Lazuli

Peridot

Fusions

Opal

Sugilite

Alexandrite

Stevonnie

The Townsfolk & Other Humans

Sadie

Lars

FryMan

PeeDee Fryman

Ronaldo Fryman

Greg

Mailman

Barb (not seen)

Nanafua Pizza

Kofi Pizza

Jenny Pizza

Kiki Pizza

Sour Cream

Buck Dewey

Onion

Onion’s Dad

Mr. Smiley

Suitcase Sam?

Mayor Dewey

Connie

Connie's Mom (Dr)

Connie's Dad (Security Guard)

Kevin

The Mayor's 2 bodyguards

Monsters/Creatures

Centipeedles and their mother

Red Eye

(offscreen) A giant bird with a giant polka-dot egg

The Spirit from the painting that possessed Together Breakfast

The Crystal Shrimp

(deceased) Frybo

Steven with Cats

The Eel that liked shiny stuff

Lion

Starfish Drills and their MOM?

Giant Bird from Giant Woman

The Geode Beetles of Heaven and Earth

The carnivorous moss that turns into beautiful flowers

Holo-Pearl

Training Robot from the cavern

Blow/Pufferfish

Blood Polyp (offscreen)

Ice Monster

Gem Shard Animated Body Parts

Invisible Monster

Sneople

Watermelon Stevens

Dogcopter

Peridot's Robots

Bees (They're magic!)

The lighthouse

Prop Bats

Scarecrows

Peridot's bigger robots

The Wind Lizard

Places

Around Town

Big Donut

Beach City Walk Fries

Funland Arcade

the boardwalk

Fish Stew Pizza

Greg’s van

It’s A Wash

the storage facility

the Crystal Gem’s house on the beach

Suitcase Sam’s T-Shirt store

Funland

Dock

Warehouse (Wrestling Arena, Rave, and Mayor Dewey's Campaign HQ)

Movie Theatre (in town?)

Pearl’s favorite tree (deceased)

Under the Ocean

Lars’ House

The Lighthouse

Greg's Aunt and Uncle's Barn

Crab the Shack

Beanch City

Mystical

The Temple with a beating heart

the storage unit? Greg said it was magical

(destroyed) The Lunar Sea Spire

Warp pad in Steven’s living room

The Training Cavern

Upside down Pyramid in the Strawberry Fields

Sand Castles that the Dessert Glass built

The cave in Arcade Mania

The Sky Spire

The Lava place where Garnet retrieved the Geode Beetle of Earth

Deadman’s Mouth

The cloud/Pillar place in Steven The Sword Fighter

Rose’s Room

The Communications Hub

The underwater place the Glass of Time was in

The ice cavern the Shooting Star was in

Rose’s Fountain

The Geode

Galaxy Warp

Tropical Island of Geodes

Inside Lion's Mane

The Kindergarten

Warp Stream

Kindergarten Basement

Other

Space

The Pollen Field Flower Fields

The Train

Connie's House

Things

Gems

Rose Quartz

2 Garnets

Amethyst

Pearl

Centipeedles’ Mothers gem

(pants animating) Gem Shards

(maybe? pretty sure) The Lunar Goddess Statue

Eel’s Gem

Gem from Upside Down Pyramid

Dessert Glass

Starfish Mother Gem

The ROC in Giant Woman

Blowfish Gem

Ice Monster from Monster Buddies

Lapis Lazuli

(Animated Body Part) Gem Shards

Invisible Monster Gem

Unknown Gem from Garnet's Universe

Mr. Gusite (This is only thing I'll include from that episode)

Mystical Items

Summoned Weapons

Laser Light Cannon

Red Eye?

Lunar Goddess Statue

Cursed Painting

Replicator Wand (destroyed)

Button in the Cavern (and all that stuff)

Fire Salt

Glass of Time

Shooting Star

The Mirror

Warp Whistle

Warp Pads

The Protective Potato (according to Ronaldo)

Wailing Stone

Food (as it’s seemingly important to our little hero)

(discontinued) Cookie Cats

Lion Lickers

Fry Bits (Cat Fingers enjoy this too)

Hot Dogs (you wouldn't have them if all Pork Chops were perfect)

Together Breakfast

(offscreen) Pizza

(unmentioned) Cupcakes in jars

(not food) Cheeseburger backpack

Donuts

Fish Stew Pizza <-- Be sure to join the rewards program!

Giant Strawberries

Margarine to slick hair back

Sodas that he threw all over the place in Tiger Millionaire

Coconuts Sandwich Cereal (Arcade Mania)

Steven (for the bird in Giant Woman)

Cake

Aqua Mexico Burrito

Cream Pies (more a prop than food)

Bag of Chips

Burger for Onion’s Dad

Seagull’s banana peel and pizza

Cheeseburger Backpack full of snacks for the movie

Popcorn

Burgers (with a ridiculous amount of buns, lettuce, and silverware)

Creamed Corn

Cloud Donuts

Cloud Fry Bits

Fire Salt

“Special” Fries

Fire Donut

Kamikaze (directly in his mouth)

CHAAAPS

Mi Torta

Durian Juice

Sandwiches

Blow torch Grilled Cheese

Crying Breakfast Friends

Fish (caught by Sadie, Cooked by Lars)

Potatoes

Bread Sticks (Crab the Shack)

Shrimp (Crab the Shack)

Ringo's Onion Rings

Watermelon

Sadie's Lunch Bags

Sandwiches, cut into triangles (the only way a sandwich should be)

Star Shaped Cookie (you could say they're out of this world)

Chess piece for Dogcoptor in Steven's dream

Macaroni 'n nothing

Cheese packet

Moldy Sponges (Amethyst. . . 'nuff said)

Coffee ( how is this so far down on the list? Garnet drinks it for breakfast. . . )

Jar of Mayo sandwich. . . knives are good.

Packed in the bindle

Marshmallows (BONE MARROW)

Breakfast Only Breakfast Specials (hashbrowns)

Rebel Turkey Legs

Caprese Salad

Media

Let Me Drive My Van (Into Your Heart)

Lonely Blade

Dogcopter 3

Golf Quest

Crying Breakfast Friends

Training Video

Keep Beach City Weird

Under The Knife

For Steven

Citchen Calamity

Ninja Squad

New Ninja Squad

No Home Boys

Evil Bear 2: Bearly Alive (Come scream with me tonight.) (Uncut Version)

Li'l Butler

Passions of Xanxor

Unfamiliar Familiar series

Other

Guitar Dad T-Shirt

Vote 4 My Dad T-Shirt

T-Shirt Cannon

Likes and Dislikes So Far

Dislikes

Not a fan of the important role junk food plays in the show not as prevalent as it was before

I don’t relate to Steven much. He mostly annoys me. He's getting a bit more lovable. . . now it's Pearl that just really rubs me the wrong way (Probably because she thinks humans are insignificant).

Why is there not a main antagonist? Possibly Peridot or Homeworld Gems

Season 1: Episode 5 Frybo

Season 1: Episode 6 Cat Fingers

Season 1: Episode 18 Beach Party

Season 1: Episode 27 House Guest

Season 1: Episode 32 Fusion Cuisine

Season 1: Episode 48 Say Uncle

Likes

I like that all the answers to everything are not conveniently packaged in a single episode

I like Garnet…

and sometimes Amethyst…

Steven's constant struggle to figure out how to fit into his place in the Gems and complete lack of struggle to feel right at home with the humans. . .

I like Greg and his super awesome van

I like that it seemed like we landed in the middle of a life, rather than the beginning of a story… this continues to be true through every episode.

I like most of the townspeople and their relationships with Steven

I like Connie a lot. She is funny and smart and a perfect non-super for the story.

I like arcade games…

I like that there are so many details in the background like everywhere…

and it’s obvious the creators are nerds

I like Sour Cream

I like the representation of emotions related to motherhood that each of the Gems go through in their own ways.

I like that the makers of the show know what customer service is like. Either that or they have really disturbing imaginations.

I like that the show encourages people to think critically and discuss large questions.

I like that there is a whole dark seedy side that I’m only just peeking into.

Shh. . . Don't tell anyone. . . I also like Peridot She seems like a misunderstood geek girl just saying

I just want to remind everyone, I write these recaps after having only seen the episode once, a week ago, and often interrupted by my whole blogging thing. I mainly do it for myself to refresh my memory for the next episode, but since I post it, I thought I should ask your forgiveness if it isn’t exactly perfect (or even close). Don’t forget if you have a submission for artwork for today’s episode, submit before Friday using the link above, and I’ll pick one to use as the cover art.

#suliveblogchrono #liveblog #Steven Universe #grailbotliveblogs #Universe048 #Say Uncle #Recap #List of Lists

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ingoldentent · 4 years

Text

Happy New Year, Spirale!

Very soon, it will be 12:00 at night. In other words, 24:00.

When you think about it, isn’t 24:00 a strange time? ...It can be called 24:00, and it can also be called 00:00. It’s the hour at the culmination of the previous day, ...and at the same time, it is hour zero as the next day begins.

And tonight, that time would be even stranger, for it’s almost 24:00 of December 31st, 2019. But when that time comes, it won’t be December, or 2019, anymore. It’ll be 00:00 of Januray 1st, 2020. The next day, the next year, the next decade are about to begin.

When there is only about 5 minutes left to midnight, a small cloud of golden butterflies can be seen flying up to the sky. For most citizens, the identity of the one creating them should be at least superficially familiar.

In a seamless manner, Battler Ushiromiya materializes himself up in the skies of Spirale City. On his hands, he carries a microphone, and to his sides, Beatrice’s iconic shoulder towers float up - however, rather than artillery, they only carry a bunch of sound boxes in them.

“Goooood evening, people of Spirale!!” He shouts, the sound boxes making it so the whole city should be able of hearing him. From the height he is, though, it shouldn’t carry that obnoxiously loud sound microphones might produce when turned on.

“I hope you’re all ready to end 2019 with a bang! ...Dang, what a year this was, huh? We got to experience life as ‘normal’ humans in a ‘normal’ city...” He makes air quotes at those words. “We dealt with an asshole cat god and his balloons, we saw the world end and turn into a fantasy MMORPG, we had a summer festival, we were given some chill time at a happy dream world, we faced ever changing apocalypses, we had a winter festival and we even had an episode of musical bodies!”

Whew, that truly was a lot. And this is only considering the major city developments. Who knows what sorts of plots and changes the people here went through, be it for better or worse? Battler knows his own, and everyone else knows theirs.

“...Now, I know what some of you might be thinking right now. ‘All of that in a year? That was hell! And next year there will be only more hell!’ And honestly, I don’t blame at all the people who hate this place. Heck, I’ve my fair share of complaints about Spirale too! But unfortunately, the power to leave this place is beyond everyone here, which means that we can only count on ourselves and each other to survive here.”

“...So rely on each other. Don’t try keeping your burdens to yourselves. Make it so, in this upcoming year, you strive to become better people than you are today. If you can’t do it by the end of next year, it’s ok. Your efforts are worthy by themselves. But we, as Humans and Witches and demons and ghosts and robots and Pokémon and whatever other species that lives on this island, can do much more when we work together. We can surpass any pain together. ...I believe in all of you. And I hope you’ll believe in yourselves and each other.”

A couple seconds of silence later... “Buuut enough of me giving out pep talks! It’s almost midnight, and there is one thing that I know you’re all anxious for!” He looks at his wristwatch. Yup, it’s 23:59. “Time to start the festivities! Soundboxes...” He snaps his fingers. “ON!”

Upon his words, an upbeat melody would begin playing at exactly 47 seconds before midnight. This is the only sound the following firework show will generate, for there is no need to create loud explosions sounds tonight.

It begins with what seems like gentle ripples in the sky. To the beat of the song, as if the sky was one of those soundboards with colored bars, several small wave patterns begin to spread in the sky, of all different colors imaginable.

The first bell sound plays, and with that the first firework proper illuminates in the sky. The waves’ intensity increases, as more beats are added up in the song. And once what seems to be the main melody kicks in, fireworks of numbers begin to appear in the sky, marking the final seconds of the decade, with each number being bigger than the last.

10... 9... 8...

7... 6...

5... 4...

3...

2...

1...

“<HAPPY NEW YEAAAAAR!!!!>”

Several fireworks appear at once. They spell, in quite legible numbers...

‘2020′.

That is it! The old year is officially over! But this party... is only beginning.

As more fireworks begin to pop in the sky, in a beautiful spectacle of colors, golden butterflies begin dropping down on the streets. Soon they coalesce... into animals? Well, not real animals. They are animals made of firework, you could say. And not just animals. From humanoid figures to silhouettes resembling inanimate objects, several firework beings roamed the streets of Spirale, with one goal and one goal only...

Dance to the kickass beat of the 1:14 mark in the song!!

And the citizens don’t have to stand still. On the contrary, the firework folks, with all their bright colors and cheerful disposition, invite folks to dance alongside them, although they won’t force anyone to follow along. Some prefer staying quiet, that is fair.

The show in the sky isn’t lacking either. Fireworks keep popping up, now far more than just spark shaped. Some shapes begin to form, at first simple geometrical patterns like triangles and circles and squares, then a bit more complex stuff like hearts and stars.

They get progressively more detailed, so by now you get photorealistic roses and butterflies and cookies. You’ve got dogs and cats and birds and rats. There are even faces of some citizens Battler is familiar with in the sky! Obviously he doesn’t know everyone in the city, so not everyone is there, and some people wouldn’t authorize their faces to be exhibited like this, but if you wouldn’t mind having the whole city see your face... maybe you’re there!

Once 2 minutes and 11 seconds have passed, the firework entities begin changing their dancing style. Alongside that, two noodle like streams of firework energy begin to sprout from Battler’s arms. It’s a number he actually pulled off last year, but in a much bigger scale, due to the much bigger crowd, plus a couple tweaks here and there at the presentation.

The streams fall close to ground level, then proceed to gain details. They’re two Chinese dragons, one golden with red details, the other silver with blue details. At first, the dragons float around the streets in a slow pace, simply bobbing to the song’s beat. In their trail, smaller fireworks appear and come to life, bobbing along to the beat.

At the return of the main melody at the 2:39 mark, their movements become faster, as they release harmless fire from their mouths. They zig zag the streets in astonishing speed, yet with enough precision and speed not to hit a single person at the crowd. They form beautiful patterns with their flight trail, which lasts a few seconds after their passage.

They also come close to each other, and with the same grace as usual, they dodge each other with absolute perfection. It’s a harmonic dance, one that keeps speeding up as the song’s momentum increases.

At 3:06, they ascend to the sky. Without the risk at hitting people, they take on more complex, riskier patterns in their flight, forming knots and untangling, passing by firework rings, forming rings with their own fire for each other to pass by.

And once the violin hits its climatic notes, they ascend higher and higher in the sky, flying in perfect parallel to each other. A trail of gold and silver dust falls gently over the city during this flight. And at 3:20...

They burst on each other, all by the sorcerer’s command. For a brief moment, it’s as if the sun has emerged prematurely - a sun that shines with its light decomposed into all the colors of the rainbow, that is. Once the night sky returns to normal, there are still fireworks appearing, but their frequency is diminished, as per the less frequent song beat. The firework beings also seem to act slower and slower... By 3:54, they are immobile.

And then we return to the initial soundboard like colored ripples in the sky. As this phase occurs, a change begins to occur to the firework beings. See, he feels like he should make this presentation more tone fitting to 2020 specifically. He isn’t a clairvoyant, though, so he has to work with things that are absolutely certain about this new year.

And after pondering a lot about this during the show’s planning phase, one simple solution came to mind - it’s the Year of the Rat! Therefore, now every single firework being has been turned... into firework rats!! Rats of all sizes and colors are now standing at the streets of Spirale City...

The hard beat soon returns at 4:22, and at the signal, all the firework rats begin doing the crab rave dance, to the energetic tone permeating the city. Once again, the citizens are invited to join their ranks, perhaps to pull off innovative dance numbers of their own!

Their dance goes on a crescendo as the main melody returns, jumping and squeaking happily in a rat parade in the streets. There is now colored lighting of unseen sources bathing the streets, making them look like a rave. They don’t flash, though. No need to cause epileptic attacks with this. They calm down a bit by 5:03, just bobbing in place to the tune as the next part of the show begins.

By 5:30, normal fireworks appear once again in the sky. This time, besides repeating the pattern of simple sparks to simple figures and then those figures growing in complexity, there is an abundance of rat fireworks. Besides realistic looking rats, there are also fireworks of Pokémon that look like fireworks, creatures that he has seen during his time back in the old city (sorry, Morpeko, that excludes you).

Golden butterflies go around the streets providing people with glowsticks. They should disappear once this party is over, but until then, the citizens can keep up with the rave mood. For those who want it, the golden butterflies can also turn into those discardable water cups, or in glasses of champagne. Again, they should all disappear once the party is over. He is an ecofriendly witch, after all!

The song hits the 6:27 mark, and with that the rats turn back into a more varied range of firework beings. Now, Battler summons two orbs on his hands, one of dark energy and one of light energy. He combines the two, and the result is something akin to one of those disco globes.

The globe is covered in a checkered pattern. From the white squares, rays of white light fall down the city, and from the black squares, a veil of darkness covers it instead. Just like in disco, the globe spins around slowly, intercalating the areas covered in light or darkness. It creates the perfect environment to keep everyone’s spirits up and dancing while the show keeps going.

At last, it is time for the grand finale. At the 6:55 mark, the firework entities dissolve into golden butterflies, which then proceed to move towards the city’s center. They fly en masse, under the growing beat of the song, all concentrating at the hole. A couple stay around the streets, glowing with colors that change to the beat, but the big bulk is now hovering above the central hole.

The fireworks continue to pop on the sky during this mass migration. For those too far from the hole to see it in person, the remaining butterflies tune closeby TVs into showing the proceedings. Once enough butterflies are concentrated over the hole, they begin flying up in an ascending spiral, while a pillar of golden light begins to form inside said spiral.

Soon, the butterflies’ spiral reach Battler’s height, which means he is now also inside the pillar of light. Just in time, as the 7:22 cue comes, causing the butterflies’ flight pattern to change from a simple ascension to a wave-like up and down beat. The light pillar reaches the globe, intensifying its pattern spread so that, rather than a slow spin, it’s now switching each tile from light to dark to light according to the song’s beat.

All of these lights are probably a bit too dizzy for some citizens, so he diminishes their intensity for everyone’s comfort. All except the pillar of light, which is now oscillating itself like a sound record being played live. Meanwhile, the fireworks become bigger and bigger in their size, showing even more complex images like famous landscapes of the city, like the Beach, Savior’s Respite, the main Fibonacci buildings and the Lake of Koi.

As the song hits its climax once again, the fireworks coalesce into even bigger pictures, until, at last, there is a full upside down replica of Spirale City made entirely of fireworks over the real deal. The light pillar and the butterfly spiral, on the other hand, are vibrating frenetically, about to collapse into nothingness at any moment...!

And then... they do. At 7:36, the globe stops spinning. The firework city is undone, turning instead into a firework cascade that gently falls over the citizens, but it dissolves high enough that it has no chance at hurting anyone. Likewise, the light pillar and the butterflies combine into a wave of magical energy that spreads throughout the city, with no other effect besides being bright and pretty.

The cascade’s beautiful colors, whose spectrum covers beyond the expected in the rainbow, is truly magnificent. And when combined with the magical wave... it’s like the whole city has, for a single moment, been transported to an otherworldly place, where magic and fantasy reign supreme.

By the 8:11 mark, the music attempts to build itself up once again, but Battler is cutting its energetic attempts short. All remaining butterflies in the city are called back to his body, and all the water cups, all the champagne glasses, all the glow sticks begin turning back into golden butterflies, providing the city with a final beautiful image of the golden butterflies flying up in the sky.

The flight of the butterflies is marked by the constant beat of the song, just like the soundboard ripples in the sky do. Those who still have some energy left in them might keep dancing, thinking that perhaps there will be yet another number that Battler will pull for this show.

And yet... the song ends. In an instant, the butterflies, the cascade, any trait of the magical firework show disappear. And with it, the Endless Sorcerer brings an end to the spectacle. ...What an ironic thing, no?

#isola news #Inside the Island #(Happy new year everyone!!!)#(Is there such a thing as #rats cw #?)

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swampgallows · 5 years

Photo

after SEVERAL DAYS ive finally completed my own version of this. not to be confused with husbando squares. i had to really reach for a couple of these as i was trying very hard to make this a favorite list and not a kin list but you can see the parts where i failed

descriptions under the cut, starting at the top and left to right:

JAN VALENTINE from Hellsing: i was obsessed with this dude when i was like 13. i wanted his beanie and i loved his fucked up piercings. also the first blowjob i ever saw. i covered my eyes. traumatizing!

RED DEATH from Venture Bros.: a dignified killer. the voice of clancy brown is absolutely integral to this character and my affinity for him. cant go wrong with a murderous family man. “brownies? yes, thank you!” plus he had a sick mohawk in the 80s.

GENERAL GRIEVOUS from Star Wars: coughing bastard wields four glowsticks at once. what’s not to love?

LURTZ from Lord of the Rings: ground zero for the closest thing to a sexual awakening

KUP from Transformers: that’s just ME, babey! old know-it-all curmudgeon stops at mcdonalds for one black coffee and leaves

JANE LANE from Daria: if i’d watched Daria in high school instead of college I would have modeled my entire existence after her. she treads between being an ideal older sister and being the greatest lesbian/girlfriend ever

THRALL from Warcraft: thrall practically raised me through my teen years and was there for me as a surrogate orc dad before he became an actual dad. the horde is thrall’s family and when i say i’m his child i MEAN it

MEWTWO from Pokémon: mewtwo knocked my socks off when i encountered him in cerulean cave in 1998 on pokémon red, and then once i found out about the first 10 minutes cut from the english version of the movie in 99, it was all over

REXXAR from Warcraft: that’s just my strong asexual mok’nathal husband. i used to pal around with him in desolace back when he was champion of the horde, and once he made his way back to his people at thunderlord stronghold we consummated our vows

DIN from Legend of Zelda: Oracle of Seasons: this is the only zelda game i have ever played, one i bought with my own money, with CASH, and i played the shit out of it. i love nature magic and dancing and din has both.

CHERNABOG from Disney’s Fantasia: i warped the VHS watching this part over and over as a kid. he’s called chernabog now but he was referred to as “satan” initially, and bela lugosi modeled his movement (though they ended up using the director’s poses instead). when he unfurls his wings? that’s the real shit

TWILIGHT SPARKLE from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic: i love all of the ponies in their own way and despite how much i abhor tara strong’s VA work twilight remains a top favorite. her anxiety and perfectionism show the downsides of her ardent studiousness, but dont portray her erudition in a negative light. a lot of cartoons i saw growing up always had an “egghead” nerdy character who was unpopular for doing well in school or caring about academia. while i know as an adult that it’s all essentially worthless it’s really affirming to see that pressure candidly portrayed while also not being totally dismissive of it. school was one of the only things i was ever good at, and twilight’s character shows both its heavy downsides and the ways in which it actually can be applied to the real world.

[free space] GARROSH HELLSCREAM from Warcraft: literally me

WASHU HAKUBI from Tenchi Muyo!: one of my longtime faves! washu is a genius scientist, but with tenchi muyo being a mythological sci-fi series, that points her closer to witch/mad scientist/alchemist. i also liked the gimmick of her being thousands of years old but insisting on portraying herself as a short snarky teenager. plus i love her crab motif and her little wooden cheerleader puppets

JOHN SILVER from Treasure Planet: bear cyborg dad. super huggable, great voice, and has a lil irish jig follow him around in the soundtrack. neck rolls + tooth gap = hell fuckkin yeah babey

AIUSHTHA THE ENCHANTRESS from DotA 2: sproink!

PEPPER ANN from Disney’s Pepper Ann: this show made me excited to attend middle school LMFAO because i related to pepper ann so much as a kid. much like twilight sparkle, PA is super neurotic but has an explosive, if not borderline delusional, imagination. she dressed and behaved like an actual kid, and plus she looked like me too. even in the 90s it was rare to see a kid with glasses that wasn’t shafted to the poindexter stereotype, especially a girl (e.g. Gretchen from the fellow Disney show Recess). i liked that she wasn’t feminine but also wasn’t a hard tomboy; she gave me space to feel like i was allowed to exist outside of that kind of gender binary (and especially her younger sister Moose blows all gender expectations out of the water).

ASUKA LANGLEY SORYU from Neon Genesis Evangelion: foundation of my childhood identity along with all the trauma and posturing therein. think garrosh if he were a 12 year old girl who piloted a mech

DEVIL ZUKIN from Dance Dance Revolution: amazing outfit, rocked the konamix. i like evil zukin too but devil zukin is the fave. sleeveless crop top hell yeah

UNDYNE from Undertale: my bi awakening at 25. strong fish lady love spagety

HELLBOY from Hellboy: mike mignola’s art style has influenced a lot of my own. he’s a demon who chooses to be the good guy and that’s everything to me. he loves kitty cats and pancakes and punches nazis, and hellboy ii: the golden army is one of the best movies of all time.

BLACKARACHNIA from Beast Wars (Transformers): LOVE this bitch. she got to hang out with tarantulas and also expressed that moral grayness i totally love, chillin with rattrap and makin jokes. spider motif is v good also

LEAH from Stardew Valley: life goals. wife goals.

NAILS from Cool World: this movie fucking blows LMFAO it’s absolutely awful but it has the most banger rave soundtrack next to hackers and ralph bakshi’s animation as always is a spectacle. Nails is a hapless anxious cop-spider who can barely load his own gun and looks like a predecessor to a Cuphead reject. plus he’s voiced by charlie adler so he’s got huge personality. funny spider guy

HAWK MOTH from Miraculous: i know what i am. im a bitch who loves bug motifs and villains who are outwitted by literal children, who are utterly convinced they are doing the right and just thing, who stare a redemption arc in the face and go “...nah”

#favorite character bingo #it me #i have a kintype and it is ORANGE #of the four non-magical typical humans on this list 3 are children LMAO

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localrobosexual · 6 years

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MY BOY!! IS DONE!! Here he is y’all Seaside’s finally come to life!! I’ve been developing this guy for MONTHS and I can’t even BEGIN to describe how happy I am to see him with a real tangible design now!! big BIG thanks to @chieris for helping me through that process drawing up his ref sheet as well!! ;w; big smooch pls commission him, he was an absolute JOY to work with!!

But in any case here’s a lil bit about him!! :0c Seaside’s a very sweet kind of bot, he’s very empathetic and kind and gentle and usually goes out of his way to help another bot out. He’d absolutely give u ice cream to try to cheer u up when you’re sad. Unfortunately though his good intentions and big heart often conflict with his immense fear of conflict and violence and his huge sense of self preservation, and because of this he’s unaffiliated with either faction! He’s very much a pacifist and hates the idea of war or fighting or even weapons in general. He can be a bit panicky and skiddish and gets scared pretty easily. Please don’t startle him for goodness sake, he’ll have a heart attack. He’s a sweet and gentle bit of a nervous wreck but he’S TRYING HIS BEST

He loves listening to 70s/80s/90s classic rock and pop, and usually has his radio tuned to one of those classics station that he’ll jam to on the road. He’s got a soft spot for dubstep as well, usually of the electronic, future bass and indie dance variety. Upbeat and happy stuff! He’ll usually either play Wake Up, The House Is Underwater! or Crab Rave over his speakers when he’s on his ice cream runs to let beachgoers know he’s here!

Seaside has a LOT of theme songs actually so I’m not gonna list em all here but his main ones are Hello Sunshine by Alexander L'Estrange & Ben Parry and Old Friends (feat. Blonde Maze) by Half An Orange!! :0c

you can read his full bio over on his toyhouse page but since it’s kinda long and this post is getting long enough uHH I’M JUST GONNA PUT A TLDR VERSION DOWN HERE TOO AHAHA

Seaside used to work as a star cartographer on Cybertron, where he’d help log maps of star systems and update em as new info came back and stuff!! He wished he could actually go out and see the universe but having a ground-based alt mode in a (at the time) functionalist society meant that it was highly unlikely that would ever happen.

When the war began, Seaside didn’t think much of it at first. He hates getting involved and picking sides in conflicts anyways so he just wanted to stay as much out of the way as possible. But as the years went on and the war got worse and bots began to be forcibly recruited onto either side, he had no choice but to flee the planet, because he knew if he was drafted onto either side he’d most likely be dead within a week. He was able to find a tiny ship to escape on, however, due to his inexperience in piloting spacecraft and his panicked rush to leave the planet, he accidentally triggered the ship’s long-distance flight protocols, which knocked him into stasis and launched the ship straight into deep space with no coordinates logged to guide it anywhere specific. Eventually, by pure chance, the ship had launched itself onto a direct path to Earth, and he came too only moments before the ship crash-landed into the side of a sand dune.

Now on Earth, he travels up and down the east coast, stopping at every local beach he comes across to hand out ice cream for a few weeks before heading out to the next one! :3c

#meg's ocs #maccadam #tf oc #transformers oc #seaside #ref sheet #other's art #IT'S MY BOY!!!!!!!!#MY BABY BOY!!!!!!!!!#IM CRY!!!!!!!!!!!#HE'S MY BIGGEST COMFORT CHARACTER YALL IM SO GLAD I CAN FINALLY SHOW HIM OFF!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!#hey once again go check out chieris' work he's got comms open!!#get u some sweet art like this!!!#bless up!!!!

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reginaldbunyan · 3 years

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and an abhorrence for slavery. Though Sadler didn't have any medical equipment, he asked other bystanders to get blankets, and he helped when other medics and police came to the scene. Baggarly's other notable life accomplishments include running as the Bratwurst in the Milwaukee Sausage Race and becoming a three time Jeopardy! champion.. 243. Under the lining, he’d sewn a fortune in coin. The faces that the First Men and the children of the forest had carved into the weirwoods in eons past had stern or savage visages more oft than not, but the great oak looked especially angry, as if it were about to tear its roots from the earth and come roaring after them. It sounded like growling, interspersed

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lighting-killer · 3 years

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Updated TechNoBlade Quotes

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

Technoblade Quotes;

Blood for the Blood God!

Technoblade Never Dies!

Yo murder is cringe don’t do that.

If you see a murderer being commited you should emeditly call them a boomer.

Just like real life target the poor people! Let’s do this!

Stay in school kids it makes you better at PVP.

Look I’m an atheist but when God sends me to Hell I want him to hesitate first.

Revolution waits for no man

If highpixel has taught me anything it’s that if you have a problem the answer is slavery.

Technoblade sometimes dies…

Officer I drop kicked that child in self-defense! You gotta believe me sir!

Like drop kicking children.

I definitely don’t condone violence

What ever you do don’t reveal all your techniques in a YouTube video you fools! You morons!

Sometimes we have to look back to were we started to see how far we’ve come.

The only universal language is violence and we’ve had that conversation.

NERD SPOTTED!

Welcome home Theseaus

That’s great ghostber. I’m about to be executed.

THESEAUSE DIED BY FALLING OFF A CLIFF! THIS IS THE MOST CANNON DEATH!

He got five eleven minons... THEN PAINTED THE MONALISA!

WHY ARE YOU HIDING UNDER MY FLOOR BOARDS LIKE A RACOON?!

TechNoBlade do you have a girlfriend? I won’t answer that but I’ll give you a hint. Look at the title of the video you commented on: 506th skywars video 200k!

Miner terarisom

Quackity did you really think you could kill me that easily?

I can’t keep using this pickaxe as a weapon. Though it did work pretty well when I was using it against Quackity. But that's probably because it was him.

Why are you guys still talking about mail!?

I give this kidnapping a 2/5 stars

3/5 for the walk plus one if you give me back my stuff

I’m the poster chat. 10000 IQ right here :’)

Tubbo’s gone! Crab Rave!🦀🦀🦀

Chat your cannon now!

The voices say a lot of things like: Blood for the blood God, Kill and E they really like that letter for some reason

Down with the goverment

I named one of my horses Brick for how well he could swim

You get two options Tommy. One leave my house and me alone overthrow join me to over throw the goverment and we get your discs back.

SELL OUT TIMER!!!

Your a king of horses. Metaphorically because of the whole government thing ya know.

This is Edward he just kind of chills here now.

Can you name the skeleton Moon? I will try but will probably forget in the next five minutes.

What are you doing here Ramboo?

Tommy is like: I have to listen to other people talk before I do?! HoW DaRe YoU!

You know you can just right click on it? You don’t have to keep breaking it.

Good bye L’ManBurg... for now >:3

If you can see my screen chat then spam “Potato”

NO! NoT ThE LMAO’S!

THIS IS HORRIBLE TIMING GHOSTBER!

There's a boat here! I’m the main character! :D

Take this lead and go far away with that sheep.

How do you read maps? This is horrible information!

Don’t hurt that horses Quakity.

Get off that horses Tommy. I’ve killed everyone who has gotten on that horses.

The voices demand blood Phil!

👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑👑

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bokuaka-4510 · 4 years

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Bokuaka: Weakness

hi guys!! I thought I would start posting my Bokuaka dabbles on here. I just started writing, so any feedback/support would be much appreciated :) also most of my stories are multi-chapter (just a heads up!!)

Chapter 1: Flashing Lights

(Here’s the image that inspired the first chapter! Obviously all credits to the crazy talented artist @songrnim on Twitter)

The flashing lights were like a second home to Bokuto- the way they would always blind him when he was at the apex of his spike before slamming down on the ball and being rewarded with that satisfying crunch and throbbing in his hand.

Okay, so maybe he was a little bit of a masochist, but then again weren't all spikers?

"Bokuto-san!" a low voice shouts to him.

He knows that voice better than his own. How many times had he heard it, calling his name with the same pitch, same urgency, same tone, over the last few years?

Akaashi.

As long as it feels good. We'll be sure to clear a path for you.

Sure enough, even Bokuto could see the path in front of him, clear as light. Akaashi's perfect toss, spiraling higher and higher. His legs move on instinct now, tensing before catapulting him into a flying jump, powerful and natural.

The blinding lights.

He squints against them, golden eyes stalking the ball as if there's nothing else important in this world. For a split second it's just him and the volley, his oldest companion.

Then the towering wall appears- three giant blockers seeking to return his spike.

As if.

He glances at his destination- the spot tethering on the sideline, between in and out, on the opposite side of him and the blockers. Arm slinging back, building power and momentum, he waits until the ball is at its peak before smashing it down. Time frozen, Akaashi finds himself captivated once again at the sight known as Bokuto Koutarou in front of him: toned arms, lean body defying physics, attractive face set in determination.

Magnetic.

Tempting.

Enthralling.

Bokuto looks otherworldly, and Akaashi loves the view that leaves him feeling like he's stolen a glimpse of something belonging to paradise, something not meant for human eyes.

Crack.

The ball hurls towards the exact spot Bokuto wanted. A perfect cross-court shot.

Bokuto thinks it should be illegal for something to be so beautiful.

He falls back toward the hard wooden floors, back to reality, where complete and utter silence greet him.

Then, the room erupts into cheers, so loud, so deafening he can't even hear his own heartbeat, but fuck if this isn't what he lives for. Yes, yes, yes!

The crowd is chanting his name, as if he's some divine savior, " Bokuto. Bokuto. Bokuto," and he can hear the reporters struggling to grab his attention from the sidelines.

Cameras on him, fans chanting his name, the dull throbbing in his right hand, well, he's never felt happier.

"Bokuto-san!" he hears the familiar voice boom at him, and Bokuto spins around searching for Akaashi's eyes, always stormy green like an angry sea after a victory.

Instead, he's greeted by tackling hugs from his team mates, who jump up and down with the joy from the victory, riding out the high from their win. He glances up from their hurdle, only to find Akaashi's startling eyes, sure enough sea green, locked on his own. The pretty setter smiles softly at Bokuto, and the spiker finds himself reinvigorated. Untangling his body from the embrace of his team and offering them a light pat on the back as he passes them, Bokuto strides to his best friend.

No, not best friend. They were...?

He didn't know, only knew that best friend was too insignificant a term to describe what they had built the last 5 years together.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Bokuto exclaims as he draws near the other boy, a grin splitting his face.

Akaashi holds up a hand for him to high-five, but the spiker just grabs it before engulfing the shorter boy into a bone-crushing hug. Immediately, Akaashi is enveloped in Bokuto's familiar scent- mandarin, pine, and citrus.

Ba-bump. Ba-bump.

Akaashi sends a silent prayer to the Gods, please don't let Bokuto-san notice.

"Akaashi," Bokuto whooped in that typical, loud voice of his, "we won! We won! That toss was fucking awesome! You're awesome, wow!"

Akaashi carefully detracts himself away from the embrace. Smiling at Bokuto with a light blush dusting his fair cheeks, Akaashi congratulates him, "Bokuto-san, you're the ace. You gave us that winning shot,".

Well, Bokuto didn't think so. He sucked at tossing and his receives were decent at best, but if Akaashi, who was the smartest guy on the whole wide world- no scratch that- galaxy, was saying that, then it had to be true. Right?

Roaring with laughter, Bokuto smugly grins at him before pointing to chest, which proudly bore the number 1 in a light blue color, " Aha! I guess you're right, Akaashi. I'm the best ace, aren't I?"

Akaashi nods solemnly, now ignoring their ace's words as he focuses more on catching his breath.

"... best setter," Bokuto finishes.

Akaashi eyeballs the spiker, unsure if he heard him correctly.

"What," he pants out, hands resting on his knees, "did you say Bokuto-san?"

"I said if I'm the best ace, then you have to be the best setter, right? Right? Because a good spiker is only as good as his setter?" the star beams at him as he tilts his head side to side, reminding Akaashi of an owl. He almost wants to shield his eyes from the brightness.

Except Bokuto's smile and praise speed up Akaashi's already racing heart. Akaashi tells himself it's from the intense match they just played, but even he scoffs at the blatant lie.

Akaashi can't help the genuine smile, the one only Bokuto can only lure out, that graces his face, "Huh, I guess so Bokuto. Maybe we're just a good team in general,"

Before Bokuto can even respond, the coach calls their names. Bokuto and Akaashi. They're the only ones left standing on the court. They head over to the sidelines where the coach and the rest of the team sit before coach congratulates them for winning the first game of the season.

Which is followed right by Coach ordering them to go do 5 minutes of suicides and 3 laps of dives for every mistake they made, which was, according to Akaashi's calculations, a lot. He stopped counting at 16. Of course, most of them were made by Bokuto, but as Akaashi steals a glance at the star ace congratulating the rest of the team, arguing with Kuroo on who stole the spotlight, ruffling the freshmen's heads in genuine affection, he discovered he didn't care the slightest about Bokuto's contribution to their punishments.

They won.

Bokuto was happy.

To Akaashi, those were the only two things that really ever mattered, though not in that particular order.

"Ah, Bokuto-chan," the Coach cuts in his gruff voice, "I think the reporters wanted to talk to you. Go head over to where Hoshiumi-chan and Ushijima-chan are. They should be almost done,".

Bokuto suddenly stands erect and offers the coach a mock salute, a crazy grin on his face. With a roll of his eyes, Coach pushes his player away, but Akaashi catches the ghost of a smile on Coach's face as he turns around.

"Try not to embarrass us too much, ok horned bastard?" Kuroo calls out behind Bokuto with his signature shit-eating grin that typically put anyone on edge.

But Akaashi has known the dark-haired boy for just as long as he's known Bokuto, so Kuroo scares him about as much as a kitten does. Bokuto must feel the same because he just sticks out his tongue at the seemingly menacing man. Akaashi's eyes trail Bokuto's disappearing figure, watching him high-five the two other celebrity spikers as they pass each other. Ushijima and Hoshiumi return to their team, taking a seat right behind Akaashi.

After a rather long (and bad, the Coach was not particularly adept at expressing positive emotions, Akaashi noted) inspiring speech by their sensei, the team heads out of the gym, talking and laughing amongst themselves, all of them in high spirits, especially after Ushijima quietly announces he would be attending post-game drinks with the team, courtesy of Heishi-san.

Apparently, miracles do happen.

In the middle of Hoshiumi's monologue (something along the lines of "Take that Hinata, you orange piece of crap! I scored 7 points in the second set. I hope you get sand between your ********* and spend all your ******* days getting **** by crabs. Akaashi started tuning him out after he learned four new expletives), Akaashi picks up on Bokuto's voice amongst the cacophony of noises in the auditorium.

It's not like he was diligently looking for the spiker. That would be ridiculous, right?

"-but my team rocks! Akaashi, he's my setter, and Kuroo and Ushijima-kun and Hoshiumi-kun and Heiwajima-kun and everyone else is crazy talented! They all make me want to be a better wing spiker," Bokuto raves. The reporter in front of him looks a bit star-dazed, pupils dilated and mouth parted open, as she continues her interview with the attractive rising star.

Akaashi briefly wonders if she's even paying attention to the conversation, but he honestly can't blame her. Akaashi spent five years accustoming himself to the glory of Bokuto, and he still has to remind himself not to drool when he sees him. Six feet of pure muscle, striking golden eyes, and sharp, handsome features make up the man known as Bokuto Koutarou. The elite spiker stands proudly as he converses with the pretty woman in front of him, completely oblivious to the effect he has on her. He's loved by all of Japan, and probably soon the whole world. Even the court adores him as it seems like the bright gym lights spotlight his lean, muscular figure, emphasizing the number 1 on his back.

Akaashi stares at his back, noticing the way the white jersey hugs his muscular frame a little too snugly, back muscles tensing and relaxing every time Bokuto moved or laughed.

Yeah, Akaashi thought, Bokuto definitely looks good in white.

It's the last he sees of Bokuto before they part ways.

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carsusan0-blog · 5 years

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A Healthy Hedonist’s Guide to Mexico City

Mexico City has been top of my travel wish list for some time.

It seemingly has everything: walls of crazy colors, vibrant vegetation on (and inside) every block, dirt cheap accommodations and uber rides, a thriving contemporary art scene, and ALL THE TACOS. Needless to say, when I got invited to a wedding in Guadalajara this fall, I made stopping in Mexico City an essential leg of the trip flanking the weekend of festivities.

If you’re visiting Mexico City as a gluten-free goddess like myself, you will have an epic few days of eating your way around the city. Since the cuisine is primarily reliant on corn, there are very few risks of cross-contamination, though if you have a sensitive immune system like me, it’s a high possibility that you will return home with some sort of critter, even if you stick to the fancy restaurants. It’s the price of admission!

Tummy troubles aside, I have no regrets. The street food around the city rivals the best restaurants, and it’s hard to resist sampling some of the region’s typical dishes straight from the “specialists.” Still, we also made it a point to tick off some of the most popular upscale eateries off our list, and those too did not disappoint.

A few things to note: though the city is much safer than it used to be, it’s still best to use uber versus taxis (again, they are insanely cheap) and not walk around alone at night in certain areas. We stayed at a lovely B&B in Condesa for under $100 a night. I’d highly recommend making that neighborhood or Roma your hub. Polanco is fancier, has less of a personality and isn’t as central.

Like Los Angeles, the city is quite spread out, but if you bring walking shoes you can still cover a lot on foot—most sites are about a 30 minute walk from Roma or Condesa (or a $4 uber).

As for the food scene, like most big cities, you can find great versions of any regional dish, but I’d recommend not leaving without trying chilaquiles for breakfast, tacos al pastor (Mexico City’s most famous taco), pozole rosso, and sangrita, a tomato-based drink that’s served alongside the best sipping tequilas to cleanse your palate. I could have drank a jug of it with every meal.

Rarely will you find a flour tortilla, which means less risk that there’s an issue with tortilla chips being thrown into the same fryer, but if you’re celiac, it’s still worth inquiring about cross-contamination and mole preparations, since it’s an everything but the kitchen sink sort of dish. I’d highly recommend, if you’re worried and don’t speak much Spanish, that you check out my friend Jodi’s gluten-free travel card for Mexico City and her travel guide for Mexico.

Read on for some of the best restaurants we ate at in Mexico City, sites and activities that shouldn’t be missed, and some other helpful recommendations I got before our trip, including where to find the best gluten-free and vegan options.

With health and hedonism,

Phoebe

THE BEST UPSCALE AND TRENDY RESTAURANTS IN MEXICO CITY

Pujol (Polanco)

If you’ve sought out restaurant recs from any gringa “foodie,” Enrique Olvera’s world-renowned spot for artistic tacos was probably top of the list. He was featured on Chef’s Table a few seasons back, and like my globe-stalking of this Slovenian star, I knew that I needed to add Mexico City to my travel list just to taste his 1,000 day mole. The restaurant lived up to the hype and may just be one of the best meals I’ve ever eaten. It’s especially enticing for gluten-free folks since you’re able to eat 95 percent of the menu (save for dessert).

Reservations need to me made a month or so out for the Taco Omakase or the Tasting Menu. We did the latter, which I was kind of bummed about because the concept of 10 courses of tacos might be my dream, but it ended up blowing my mind. Chef Olvera’s food is pristine, but unfussy. Surprising, yet comforting. It’s exactly what you didn’t know you wanted to be eating.

Our favorite dishes were the octopus, softshell crab, quail egg papadzul, and all the street snacks. Also, order the tamarind margarita and thank me later.

Contramar (Roma)

This daytime seafood spot, with waiters toting giant clams and crab claws, feels like you stepped off the wrong plane and ended up in Miami. It was described to me as where the Mexi Mad Men go for their power lunches, and I was so into this idea, and the tuna tostadas included in it, that I went not once, but TWICE during my stay.

In addition to the atun, you should also try the crab tostadas, fish al pastor tacos, and if you have enough people, the whole fish with green and red salsa, which comes with a basket of warm tortillas. Everything is incredibly fresh and expertly cooked. They also served one of the best sangritas (little shot of bloody Mary-like mix that’s served alongside sipping tequila) that I tried in Mexico.

Paramo (Roma)

If you’re in Mexico City on a Sunday, make a reservation at this cozy, Mexican speak-easy, which is one of the few places on our hit list that was open that night. It’s a fun, lively crowd – a mix of locals and tourists – and between the exposed brick and twinkle lights strung along the ceiling, feels like somewhere in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The service is a little slow, but luckily the delicious cocktails will keep you entertained. It’s a great spot to take a group since you can order any of the tacos as cazuelas—larger casseroles of the filling that you can share and DIY in your own warm tortillas.

Rosetta (Roma)

I know, I know. You didn’t come all the way to Mexico City for Italian food. But if you’re looking for an escape from the parade of tacos, Rosetta has a charming ambience that’s very much of the city: a candle-lit interior that’s covered in plants, including trees that are taller than most on the exterior sidewalk. They have plenty of vegetarian options, among them a mean mushroom risotto and a delicious beet appetizer with pink mole. Make sure to make reservations in advance, or try going for lunch when it’s easier to walk in.

THE BEST CASUAL RESTAURANTS AND TAQUERIAS FOR LUNCH AND BREAKFAST

Fonda Mayora (Condesa)

We ate at this little breakfast spot in the Condesa / Hipodromo neighborhood on our last morning before leaving for the airport. They had a great chilaquiles and rancheros, along with plenty of other options. If you have a stomach of steel, you can even try the green juice!

Lardo (Condesa)

A sister restaurant to Rosetta, this chic daytime cafe strikes a great balance between Mexican influences and more familiar dishes. For breakfast, the black rice porridge with mango is delicious, as well as the poached eggs in red sauce. They also serve an assortment of teas and homemade nut milks for your coffee. The interior is beautiful and I almost attempted to steal one of the stools and bring it back in my carry on.

Los Creadores Del Taco al Pastor (Condesa)

We mostly ate our tacos on the street in Mexico City, but after missing out on the city’s most famous taco—al pastor—we decided to pop into this taqueria that pretty much serves only that…since they claim the invented it. I’m sure Eater has sussed out the best al pastor (a shawarma-style pork with slices of pineapple) in the city, and that this is not it. But we couldn’t tell! I loved every bite of these juicy little guys, especially with the salsa and pickled vegetables served on the side.

La Clandestina

This mezcal bar was a great place to stop before or after dinner if you want a chill place to have one more sip of smoky libations. It’s in Condesa, right near many of these restaurants. I loved the spicy margarita, and a friend of mine ordered an interesting one with avocado and basil!

OTHER EATERY AND BAR RECOMMENDATIONS

We didn’t make it to even a fraction of the recommendations on our list. Here are some more in the same area that we want to try next time:

San Angel Inn — In the south of the city, which is why we didn’t make it, but incredibly charming for lunch in their courtyard among MXC elite. Very romantic!

Lalo – Another great breakfast spot similar to Lardo.

Masala y Maiz – In a slightly more far flung neighborhood near Casa Barragon. We were told to go for lunch and check out the cool interior and cuisine, which is Indian meets Mexican!

Azul – A spot for healthier Mexican favorites with great veggie enchiladas.

La Buena Tierra – Another veg-centric place for vegetarian options.

Tacos Veganas – A completely vegan taco place in Condesa!

Marrakech Salon – Sweaty silly fun drag bar, Mexican queens singing in Spanish standing on top of the bar in sequin dresses…on my list for next time.

COOL STORES WE VISITED

Goodbye Folk

If you’re into vintage finds or custom shoes, you should definitely stop in this little shop that sources great hipster shirts and sweaters, and also locally-made leather shoes and boots. It’s not too far from Rosetta and Arena Mexico if you need somewhere to stop on your walk to either.

Onora

In the upscale neighborhood of Polanco, this home store is small but packs in a lot of beautiful, artisan finds. If I wasn’t going straight to dinner at Pujol, I would have walked out of there with an entire dinner set and pile of linen napkins.

Lago DF

Also in Polanco, this trendy boutique has lots of local clothing designers if you’re looking for a chic caftan. They also have some vibrantly colored tequila glasses and other home goods.

THINGS TO DO AND SEE IN MEXICO CITY

The Best Markets of Mexico City

One of the most fun things to do is eat your way around some of the various markets. San Juan is the largest, and you can find a few tours during the day or at night through Eat Mexico if you want to really cover a lot of territory. A friend of ours raved about the nighttime taco tour. Mercado Medellin near Roma is a smaller indoor market but much more of a local’s affair. It’s a great place to pick up some dried chiles to take home with you or sample al pastor tacos. Mercado Roma is a more upscale hub of food stalls from restaurants around the city – similar to Chelsea Market in New York. They have an outpost for La Otilia, a gluten-free bakery! I didn’t love their cookies, but it’s a good option if you’re craving a sweet. Mercado de Artesanias is the craft market that is overflowing with finds. Great as a weekend activity if you like to shop and want to find some incredibly affordable wares.

Casa Barragon

This is the home of the most famous architect in Mexico, and definitely worth a visit. Tours book up months in advance, but if you are willing to risk it, I’d recommend just showing up early and hoping that the people there take pity on you, as they did us! The hallmark of his designs is that you can’t tell what kind of colorful treasures reside on the interior. This was one of the highlights of our trip.

Arena Mexico / Luncha Libre

If you’re skeptical of the magic that is Mexican wrestling due to the mediocrity of the movie Nacho Libre, please keep an open mind. This was the most fun thing we did in Mexico City and I am still giggling thinking about it. You will be surrounded by locals drinking, booing, cheering, you know…telling the wrestlers to go F themselves. It’s a rip roaring good time, especially on a Sunday afternoon in between meals. The stadium is small, so you really can’t go wrong with your seat, but I would recommend facing the side of the arena where the players walk out. The Luncha Libre show is on Tuesdays and Weekends. You can buy tickets at the booth right before the show – they don’t really sell out. Just try to avoid the annoying scalpers outside, who can be quite aggressive.

National Museum of Anthropology

We were told that this was a museum not to be missed, but honestly, we were a little lukewarm on it. If you like antiquities, old pots and the like, you will have a great time. It’s vast and very well organized. The building is also very cool. We were probably too hungover to fully appreciate it. It was also a Sunday, when tickets were free, and it was a zoo.

Xochimilco

My biggest regret is not making it to the floating canals on the outskirts of the city. As we learned at the Anthropology museum, Mexico City used to resemble Venice when it was first settled, meaning most of the city was built on the bottom of a lake bed that once housed a complex system of canals and waterways. Xochimilco is what’s left from that period. It’s a fun place to ride around in colorful, very instagrammable “gondolas.”

I was only in Mexico City for a weekend and was mostly interested in eating, so there are many sites that I didn’t get too. Also keep in mind that Mexico City has a great contemporary art scene (most of which Charlie has already done a million times) and many museums worth visiting.

Have you been to Mexico City? Tell me your favorite restaurants and sites! I will add them to the reader rec section and also to my to-do list for next time I go down there.

Source: https://feedmephoebe.com/a-healthy-hedonists-guide-to-mexico-city/

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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