#i still wonder why astarion liked in that situation

[astarionancuntnin]

Die For You (Chapter 2)

summary: following your encounter in that dark alley, you're faced with your old love. will you have the strength to stand up to him?

rating: T

word count: 2.1k

pairing: astarion x you (fem!reader)

cw: kidnapping, reader is shackled for a while, starvation (both imposed by captor and self-imposed), manipulation.

a/n: a shorter chapter and no funny business this time around cause we gotta focus on the development of their relationship while reader is in captivity. also! look out for the additional a/n at the end of the chapter! im undecided on where i want to take this so i want all of your opinions !!

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I fell in love with someone

I don’t know

Anymore, anymore

Sometimes I wonder if you

Think of me

Anymore, anymore

-

You can't make much of what happened after he appeared. You were too shocked by the presence of your past lover to acknowledge whoever cast sleep on you, knocking you unconscious at your most vulnerable moment. Cowards. When you awaken, you’re shackled, hanging to a wall in a dark cell. You pull against the restraints to no avail; you were securely locked in.

Your struggling must’ve made too much noise, as not long afterwards, the door opens wide, revealing Astarion, alone. He was standing proud in lavish clothing, different from the ones you had seen him in at the party a few days ago, but just as proper. As much as these last few months had been awful to you, it seemed like they had been the best in his last 200 years of existence. He approaches you slowly, head held high and arms crossed in his back.

“How’s your head, my dear?”

Hearing his voice again for the first time in months triggers a wave of emotions within you. Hurt, hatred, longing… lust. You shake them away as best as you can before questioning him.

“Why did you bring me here, Astarion?”

“Why, I simply wanted to talk,” he says, his tone annoyingly playful.

“Was the kidnapping and shackles really necessary?” You slightly pull against them again to make your point; you can barely move in this condition.

“Can you blame me? Seeing how you ignored me so easily all night, and the fury in which you provoked my servants, I doubted you were going to follow me here willingly.”

You close your eyes and sigh, dropping your head, discouraged.

“Plus,” he adds, “I couldn’t take the chance to have you run out on me. I let you go once, it’s not a mistake I’ll be doing again.”

You chuckle, somehow finding a way to laugh at the situation as you raise your head back to meet his gaze. “I notice that your inability to move on wasn’t part of the many things that changed after your ascension.” 

He smiles back, amused by your wits. “I only kept the best parts, as you can see. Besides, I know you've been missing me just as much.”

“You're so full of yourself.”

“Am I? Were you not alone and miserable for all these months? Or did my spawns lie to me?”

“Wait… You’ve been spying on me?!” You exclaim in disbelief.

“Well, someone had to make sure you weren't off to get yourself killed in some stupid way.” 

You scoff, offended at this image he had of you. “I can handle my own, thank you.”

“And yet, my servants had no problems cornering you in a dark alley.” 

You open your mouth as you're about to answer back when you find yourself at a loss for words. He got you there, the prick. He notices your silence and sighs before commenting on your state.

“For someone who’s been wanting me ever since we parted, you keep playing hard to get, my dear.”

“Oh please, how am I ‘hard to get’? Hells, I was actively trying to forget about you, I never wanted to see you again. But no, you– you had to go after me.” The irony of the situation makes you laugh some more. “You have everything you’ve ever dreamed of and yet, you still couldn’t find someone new to replace me.”

He laughs lightly. “I’ve only ever wanted you, my treasure. And now,” he walks towards you with a languid pace, his hand reaching for your chin, lifting it to meet his gaze, “You're finally where you belong, where you should have always been in the first place.”

You snap your head out of his grasp. “Shackled at your feet?” You spit out.

He forcefully brings back your gaze on him, his nails grazing your cheeks, making you hiss. “By my side.” He looks at your bared teeth, smiling. “You will make a deadly consort, that I'm sure of.”

Your eyes widen as you understand the implication, and your voice rises as the fear starts to set in. “I’ll NEVER agree to this.” 

He tilts your head aside and leans in the crook of your exposed neck, his breath hot against your skin. “You don't have to. I can just take what's rightfully mine.” he whispers and that last word sends a chill down your spine.

You struggle in his grasp, trying to pull your neck away as you shout. “Don’t you DARE!”

He chuckles to himself. “Oh, don't you worry, I intend on making sure you deserve it before we get there.” He releases your face coldly but doesn’t move away from you. “But where are my manners? I almost forgot; I meant to invite you to eat.”

“I would rather starve,” you declare, leaning into that last word.

He sighs, seemingly growing tired of your attitude. “Fine, do as you wish,” he says, walking away from you. 

He leaves and you’re left on your own for Gods know how long. You spend those first hours trying to free yourself still and eventually give up when you start to feel the bruises on your wrists. You drift in and out of consciousness, fatigue affecting you more with every hour that passes. Without any source of light, it’s nearly impossible for you to tell how much time had gone by since the night you were captured. But, judging by the growling of your stomach, at least a full day had gone by, maybe even two. Your arms and legs were starting to give out on you as well, when the door before you opened to a spawn you didn't recognize. 

“Lord Ancunín invites you to dinner,” he says, composed.

“You can tell him to fuck off.” Your words don’t have the intended effect as they’re told with a shaky voice. In truth, you would kill for just a piece of bread right about now, but you would let yourself die before you complied to Astarion.

“I'm afraid that's not an option.”

Two more spawns appear behind him, and you instantly understand where this is going; this wasn't a request, it was an order. You're unshackled, although the spawns’ grips were so strong, you didn’t notice a difference, and were guided out of your cell. You reach an immense dining room, where Astarion has been waiting for you, a gold cup already to his lips. Knowing him, you suppose it’s either blood or fine wine, not that you care either way. You sink into the chair positioned at your end of the table, eyeing the food before you suspiciously. 

“Don't worry, I wouldn't dream of poisoning you. I only want what’s best for my dearest consort.”

You scoff, briefly eyeing Astarion who is sitting opposite of you before turning your attention to the contents between the two of you. You would lie to yourself if you said you weren't starving. The food laid out on the table looked delicious. The table was filled with different plates of food, each one looking better than the previous, making your stomach growl in appetite. You could practically drool all over the place, but you didn’t want to give Astarion the satisfaction of seeing you cave in. Not yet, not so soon. You wouldn’t let him get the best of you. 

Astarion quickly understands your intentions, with you staring right back at him, and he sighs, rolling his eyes.

“It wouldn’t be wise to let yourself starve, pet. You wouldn’t want to waste all this delicious food, would you? Don’t be shy, at least take a bite.”

You're tempted, but against your better judgement, you ignore the mouth-watering meal, crossing your arms in defiance. He rolls his eyes, matching your attitude.

“As you wish.”

He snaps his fingers and the two spawns that brought you here move towards you, reaching for your arms. You stand up abruptly, pulling away from them in a defensive stance. Astarion speaks up, and you can practically hear the smile in his voice.

“Come on now, my lovely assistants only want to bring you back to your cell for the night.”

“I know the way.”

“I insist.”

Your fatigue and hunger get the best of you; you simply don’t have the energy to fight. 

“Fine.”

“That’s my girl.”

You hate the effect he still has on you. He knows just what to say to get to you.

You shoot him a deadly glare and feel your breathing quickening as your heart races with anger and your nails dig through your palms. He smiles pretentiously at you, and you’re overcome with thoughts of jumping onto him and punching his stupid face, making him regret everything he’s done to you these last few days. If it wasn’t for the awful twist in your gut, you might have. You shut your eyes closed as you look away, frowning, before you start walking away and the two vampire spawns accompany you to your cell, where you let yourself slouch over the rock wall. At least, they didn't restrain you again.

Once again alone with your thoughts, your mind drifts to your companions. Specifically Shadowheart; would she still be waiting for you? Would she be looking for you? You wish you had a way to contact her, let her know you need help. Your thoughts are interrupted by a stabbing feeling in your gut, again. Maybe you should’ve taken a bite, just a small one, just to keep you going… No, this was a game to him, you needed to hold on. The pain is good, you try to convince yourself, it’s a reminder that I’m alive, mortal, and I’ll fight to keep it that way as long as I can. 

Another wretched tenday passes and you avoid the food still. Every day follows the same routine: you’re woken up, Astarion’s spawns bring you to the large dining room where you’ll refuse to eat anything, until he gets bored of your attitude and you’ll be brought back to your cell, three times a day. You sense how Astarion is getting annoyed at you, and it strengthens your resolve. However, you hate to admit it, but you’re becoming weaker and weaker. You spend most of the passing days asleep, unable to think straight through your hunger, and too exhausted to do anything else. 

Finally, you cave in.

As you're brought to the dining room for dinner, your gaze falls upon your favourite meal, presented before you. For the first time in days, your façade breaks down, you have eyes for nothing else other than the meal in front of you. Had this been given to you on the first day, you would’ve gladly turned it down, but you didn’t have that kind of resolve anymore. Astarion snaps you out of your reverie by mentioning the name of the plate, and you raise your eyes to meet his.

“You had asked me what my favourite meal was and I couldn’t remember.” His tone is gentle. “It had been so long that everything tasted like garbage. Even wine tasted like pure vinegar. It frustrated me. That’s when you told me about yours: Baldurian Mash. You described it in such great detail, I could almost taste it myself.” He pauses, and you look up to meet his gaze. “I wanted to give you what I couldn't have. A chance to remember.”

You can’t stop the tears from swelling up. You’re famished, completely drained, and mentally spent; this was the last straw. You grab the gold-plated utensil with a shaky hand and dig into the plate, shoving that first bite in your mouth. It’s even better than you remember it. You chew on that first bite longer than necessary, relishing the taste of the meal. It’s comforting, filling, it tastes like home; it’s everything you’ve wanted and more. You are so hungry that you end up ravishing the rest of it, barely taking the time to savour it properly past that first mouthful. Your belly growls, this time content with the food you finally gave it. After so many days resting on an empty stomach, you can't afford to eat anything else. You smile unconsciously as you lay back in your chair, satisfied with your meal, before getting up to leave, following the usual routine.

You stop in your tracks near the door and slightly turn around towards the ascendant, pausing before the words escape your lips.

“Thank you.”

As you walk away, you miss the devilish grin forming on his lips.

Everything was going perfectly according to his plan.

-

Familiar faces that look like you

They tend to

Mess with my head just like it's deja vu

It's always

Right when I think I’m getting over you

That it feels

Like I have salt inside an open wound

A/N²: POLL TIME

i already have another chapter written which wont be affected by this poll. BUT for the chapters that will follow, i need a direction since its going to change how i approach the writing (dialogues and important actions are going to be different based on the outcome)

i do have an idea for each option, i just need to know whats the vibe cause i cant decide myself (bisexual moment)

[prajjna]

[drunkenlionwrites]

Spawn!Astarion x reader after the events of BG3

Warnings: g/n reader, has mild nsfw part, ptsd mentions, past sexual abuse mentions, also spoilers of the ending, obviously.

Astarion is still afraid of depending too much on you - now being unable to step in the sun once again. Sometimes counting days, then weeks, then years holding on to the thought of you getting tired of him and his complications in the back of his head.

Has flashbacks, and occasional visions of Cazador or Godey torturing him when he meditates from time to time, covering his anxiety with the usual bravado in front of you, not wanting to bother you all the time.

Still, he is as open with you as he can get, opening the darkest parts of his life as a spawn to you carefully and slowly.

Now that he’s his own person, there’s only three things he’s pursuing: finding a cure for vampirism, you, and having as much fun as possible, of course!

He likes to spend some nights with you, visiting taverns and showing you with a devilish smile what a good vine is at last. Giddily waiting for your reaction as he watches you bringing the goblet to your lips.

He relishes catching glimpses of him and you while being among people, proudly parading his lover around. Astarion is genuinely admiring you and your beauty, being happy of being seen in your company.

Some days he’s very clingy and handsy, begging for your affections, while other days he might still avoid any physical contact with you. All he needs is more patience, and of course, you have a never-ending well of it when it comes to him.

Totally appreciates when you go hunting with him, whether it’s a wild boar (lol) or an occasional criminal, loving to be able to be seen as a person, not as a monster by you and not afraid of making you feel repulsed by him, though sometimes he still wonders why.

I also can see him occasionally indulging in feeling like a knight in shining armor and a savior of wronged and weak, definitely immensely enjoying cutting throats of people exploiting others in any way.  

NSFW

Now that he’s his own man and he can explore his sexuality freely I believe he’s more into being tender and loving things when it comes to sex, contrary to the popular opinion.

Not that he can’t get freakier on some days. And if you want him to bite you in the process? Who’s he to refuse his darling?

Enjoys hearing your little yelps of pain followed by moans of pleasure when he sinks his teeth in your thighs, wrists, or neck. Wherever is your preference.

He definitely leans more into being a top, not because he’s in the role of seducer, but just preferring to maintain control of the situation.

He also oh so loves the fact that he’s the one that makes your body weak for him, enjoying pulling out all sorts of pretty sounds out of you, enjoying the way you pliantly take everything he gives you. Making you a pouting begging mess, tearfully asking him to give you more, to allow you to come at last not being able to bear his teasing anymore.

Not that Astarion denies you showering him in your tender caress and spending the whole day/night being the one taken care of this time now that he doesn’t have to always be the one to pleasure someone. It’s a novel concept for him and he still feels too bare and vulnerable sometimes, but he learns how to say no if he’s not up to something. It’s so much easier now that you’ve proven to him time and time again that you’ll always listen to him and agree with whatever he wants.

I've been in love with this man for two years since I've started playing EA, but wanted to postpone writing anything until I see all of his layers. And it's been the best decision ever. I'm such a sucker (😏) for this elf and I still am astonished how nuanced and beautifully portrayed his character is. This is just my first touches of writing him, so it's pretty short and not really explicit.

[reverieblondie]

I really like the shy s/o headcanons you did. If I can, I’d like to request hcs of Haarlep, Gale, Halsin, & Astarion (& anyone else you might feel like adding) w/ a s/o that’s almost always cool and collected (sort of like a kuudere).

Thanks! 💜

So I am unsure If I didn't go cool enough or if I went to Kuudere for this request, but I really enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it! Last Bullet point is NSFW!

Gale

Gale isn't exactly sure how to explain why his heart stirs when he sees you, it just does. You could be reading quietly by the campfire or cutting down enemies, but he always has the same thought when he sees you: Elegance. Your stoic demeanor and how you carry yourself with such grace have been swirling in his brain since your first meeting. You could be covered in any amount of filth but you will still have that keen look in your eye and speak in such an articulated fashion that to him it sounds like poetry, though you know it's not. Posed and a cool tone always the same, Gale finds a certain comfort from being around you. It's kinda nice he's always close by. Sure, he can be a dork, but Gale feels things so deeply, a thing you wish you could relate more to. Though with Gale you find that a part of you is becoming softer, it's mainly directed towards him but it's an improvement. Gale admires you and you think he deserves to be as equally admired and you don’t mind being that person for him. It only will lead to him falling for you more. 

You and Gale were enjoying a moment together in his tent. It had become something like a ritual that at the end of the day as everyone settled into their tents Gale would read aloud a book to you or anyone else who wanted to join. Tonight, however, his tent only had one guest, you. As Gale read his eyes flicked up toward where you were sitting beside him listening intently. You two had found yourselves in the position before on other nights, but tonight was different. You were quiet and so close, in fact from how close he could smell the subtle sweetness that laces itself to your skin. Always so elegant, even now with your hair slightly disheveled from the day. Sitting so patiently for him to continue reading. Gently, Gale brushes the hair back, his fingers grazing you so delicately. Looking at the text you see his smile as he slightly leans in, you follow his lead without a second thought. Forgetting all about the story and relishing in the passionate kiss. You were both happy nobody joined you two for the story that night. 

Gale is always showing you his appreciation in any way he can. Making dinner for you and the rest of the camp. Reading to you and recommending books. Teaching you what he knows about magic, turns out he's a great teacher. You just want to be able to show your appreciation to him, you can just kiss him or go to his tent later and show him what he means to you ,but you want to work on expressing yourself. You were helping him prepare dinner for everyone, as he cooked and would look over at you he would have that same sweet smile on his face. It’s time to express yourself and dig deep. “Do you know how much you mean to me? You are wonderful, and…I’m happy to be yours.” Hours later Gale was still giddy from the sudden phrase. 

Though you try to express your love for Gale through words like he so often does, sometimes words just lack the way you truly feel for him. That's how you two often end up in this situation. Gale with a fist full of your hair bites his lip as he watches you through lidded eyes. He's cummed twice now but you're still down there sucking and licking on him, overstimulating him for more. Though he's completely flushed, you're still looking up at him with those keen eyes as cool as always. On the inside your body is a flame of want, but you know how much he loves your elegant lips wrapped around him. Don’t worry it's your turn after he gives you one more…

Haarlep

You drive them crazy…You're so calm and collected at all times, despite their teasing and taunting you never give anything away. Harrlep wants you to break, they are desperate to be the cause and are very open about telling you this. But you always keep your cool demeanor. It's become a game for them, to be the one to have your resolve tremble down to lust. You on the other hand find their want oddly amusing. Typically games like this don’t interest you but the amount of time Haarlep devotes to you, the way their hungry eyes rake over you does make something in you stir…Maybe one day you will let their game progress, but it will be on your terms, for now, they will have to be pleased with your smiles as you leave them hanging. The chase makes it all the better. 

They had grown tired of the game as they watched you ramage around the House of Hope looking for whatever artifact you needed this time on your adventure. Haarleps fiery eyes watched as you were browsing around not even turning to share a glance with them. Haarlep had tried it all, whispering filth in your ear, running their tail up and down your back, hells they even tried ignoring you back but nothing worked in making you want them. Now here you are alone with them and still nothing. Their irritation grew till they finally cracked. Grabbing your arm Haarlep spun you around to grab your chin “I don’t take kindly to be ignored.” they growled right before they brought their lips to yours and kissed you. The kiss was raw and passionate, their heated lips made you feel like you caught an instant fever. Haarlep had to hold your weight as your limbs turned to jelly. A sudden rush in your lower stomach was tempting you with depraved thoughts of more. They tasted like the finest wine you could indulge in forever if you wanted to. As they broke the kiss and looked at you expectantly for any kind of reaction; hate, want, anything to tell them you felt anything at all. Haarleps eyes widened at what they saw and their lips spread to a delighted smile. Your eyes doe like in a breathless expression with the tinting of red to your cheeks. You were blushing because of them. 

After defending Raphael Haarlep was free to do whatever they wanted and what did they decide to do? Join you on your adventures, though the relationship between you two was never defined exactly you knew that deep down you were theirs, your soul be damned. Haarlep was always waiting for you and though they would play it off as just for fun you saw the way their eyes would soften when you emerged to your room. Though, sometimes you felt like Haarlep was putting on a show for you at times. You want them to be comfortable and not have to perform for you. “No games Haarlep…Can I please just hold you?” When you first asked this Haarlep seemed confused by the idea of cuddling, but as they laid their head against your chest to have you then softly you wrapped your arms around them. Haarlep lays there in your arms silent, the only noises are the soft sounds of your breathing and the thrumming of your heart. This intimacy…stirs something within them…

Haarlep is always the one to take the lead in your relationship, you figured they liked the feeling of control. But after they made a teasing comment about you needing to be more aggressive with what you want, you took it to heart, and they were so happy you did. They were getting drunk off it, your moans leaving your swollen lips as they held your wrist in their warm hands. You bounce up and down on them, taking them in so deeply. You're delicious as you tighten around their cock so close to coming undone but holding back. Your eyes are watching Haarlep so intently, it's strange they rarely ever get raddled during sex but with how you are looking right now they might be the ones to come undone first this time…

Halsin

You're different compared to others he has encountered. Halsin is so used to people becoming nervous or giddy when he is around, some disdain him, many are eager to befriend him, and then there are others wanting to bed him. But you? You never give anything away to how you might feel…well that was the case till he figured you out. It was a simple praise, he thought nothing much of it as he told you how good you were. The way your cheeks glowed red as your eyes stayed to his…it was a slight crack to your shield and he wanted more, he wanted to watch you blush and be the reason for it, he wanted you to feel better and have all the praise you deserved. Halsin would praise you every day just so he could witness your flustered features. Halsin figured out how to get past your shields and despite this usually being something to mortify you, it was instead a welcomed change. It's odd feeling vulnerable to another person but Halsin is a gentle soul, he will treat you tenderly.

Halsin had invited you out on one of his typical hikes through nature as the others visited the nearby town. Halsin being a druid preferred nature to make him more relaxed and you preferred being around Halsin so it was a win-win situation. Halsins soothing voice and calm dementor always put you at ease, though today as you walk closely to his towering figure something deep within you stirs. You come to an abrupt stop and he follows looking down at you curiously. His hazel eyes took you in then smiled softly, it made your heart skip and you finally knew what was happening to you. “I think I want to kiss you.” You say bluntly. Halsin looks at you surprised then smirks, “You think, or you know?” You stare at him, not breaking your gaze, “I know I do.” Halsin opens his arms out to embrace you, “Then come here.” His voice purrs. You place your hands on his wide chest and let him take the lead. The kiss was slow and intimate and tasted like honey.

Halisn is a giver, he is always bringing you gifts like flowers, fresh ingredients, rare stones, and his favorite showering you in praise till your cool dementor falters and you blush like an idiot. You want to do something for him, give him something that you know he would enjoy. After much consideration and time, you had the perfect gift. You approached him very casually with it hidden behind your back. Halsin, not being a fool, knew something was up when you were already blushing and he hadn’t praised you yet. When you finally revealed it he felt his heart squeeze. A poorly made wooden duck, “You make it look so easy…” you say simply and he can’t help but laugh, the rest of the day he told you how to properly make a wood carving. It's now become your favorite bonding time.  

Lovers in the past have always been so ravenous when it came to intimacy with him. Scratching, Biting, just being rough in general. You, however, treat him as if he were made of glass, blushing softly, cooing, and caressing him tenderly. Halsin has seen you in a fight, you are forced to be reckoned with, but in the intimacy in his arms, you are blushing and sweet. You speak every honeyed praise that comes to your mind as he goes down on your drinking in your release. Your voice in pleasure is becoming his favorite song these days. 

Rolan

When he first laid eyes on you he immediately thought you were one the coolest people he’s ever seen. It was right after a fight, your teammates were cheering and hollering as you all came into the grove, and you walked in the background watching your ragtag group. Then your eyes met his. You didn’t wave, or smile, you just simply gave a nod towards him. Cal and Lia swear they have never seen Rolan blush so much, of course, he denied it, but on the inside his heart was racing. After that day he found himself wanting to have you think he was as impressive. Lucky for him you did find him impressive, not only because he was a talented wizard but because he was an ambitious dreamer. You admired all he did for his family and found yourself lightening up every time you got to talk to him. His rich voice always made your head fill with stars despite your cool outside. As a couple you and Rolan are almost inseparable, you're always there to be his calming present and he brings an extra spark to your life. He might think you're the cool one, but in your eyes it's him.   

Rolan had done what Cal and Lia deemed impossible, he managed to ask you out on a date finally and was successful. A sunset stroll through the city was the plan and it was going well. Rolan was putting on his best confident demeanor as you listened to him intently, your bright eyes watching him carefully. Gods, how he loved your eyes, hair, body, and lips. Rolan felt his palms getting sweaty as he kept glancing at you. Each time his eyes landed on your perfectly kissable lips. He wanted so badly to just grab you and kiss your lips, stealing a taste for him to hold onto forever. Though his stuttering and nerves were getting in the way of that, he wanted you to think he was cool and collected, a perfect match for you. He can’t just grab you and kiss you!  Tail swishing around irritatedly, he is chastising himself to get a grip on his emotions and to stop staring at you so desperately. Then feels his collar being pulled and suddenly your lips are on his. All of Rolans resolve leaves as he grabs your hips and deepens the kiss to one of desperate hunger. Backing you up to the closeted ally he wraps his tail around your leg as his tongue pushes into your mouth finally tasting you. Breaking from the kiss to catch your breath Rolan accidentally lets a whimper slip from his throat. “You…kissed me, why?” You shrug, “I figured you wanted to considering how you kept staring at my lips.” Rolan groans, “You must find me pathetic…” you touch your hand to his cheek and kiss his lips again, “No, I think you're just passionate. Makes me want to be more like you.” Rolan felt the blush creeping to his ears, it was the best date. 

Rolan worked so hard it was something you both admired about him but it also made you worried for him. He just worked so hard to provide for his family. You wish you could do something for him to help, but pulling him away from his desk is often an impossible task. He was in his study for what might have been hours now. Entering his study you saw him scribbling away, it wasn’t until you cleared your throat that he looked up. In your hands a tray of his favorite meal he had mentioned his adoptive mother making for him Cal and Lia as kids. He was a bit shocked you remembered him talking about the dish. Placing the tray down you cooed at him to take a break. And as he smelt the food he found that he was incredibly hungry. As he ate you undid his hair and scratched your nails on his scalp. Lending down you told him to join you for a bath and he of course couldn’t deny you.  

He just couldn’t help himself anymore, watching you handle everything effortlessly, always acting so cool…he needed you, now… His buckle was gently knocking against the shelf, your head leaning back against him as his breathy whines rang in your ear. Hard thrust drives his cock deeper and deeper, the tip nudging against your sweet spot. Then he brings his tail in and your cool demeanor melts away and you're a moaning crying mess. Rolan brings his hand to cover your cries…His hot breath pants in the shell of your ear, “Keep it down…The customers will hear you…” Nothing makes him feel more confident than feeling you come undone… 

Wyll

If Wyll had to pick anyone to follow blindly into a fight it would be you. You're smart and tactful, you keep a level head despite anything. Wyll sees you as the perfect definition of a leader and he would follow you to the hells if you needed it. Though if anyone asked you the same question you would answer that Wyll makes the better leader with his kind-hearted nature and determination. Despite you being quiet you find that with Wyll it doesn't matter, he can carry the conversion easily for the two of you and it wouldn’t even get awkward. You two just enjoy being around each other, you bring out the best in each other. With Wyll you are more gentle and he helps you see the world in a less harsh perspective. with him by your side you find yourself understanding and experiencing more emotions you didn't think you ever would. With you around Wyll finds fulfillment, if someone like you sees him as someone you want to be with maybe he is not as worthless as he once thought. You two are each other's perfect complement.

After a time of getting to know one another and being each other's closest confidants, Wyll knew it was time to take the relationship in a more serious direction. Wyll Imagined your first kiss would be underneath a canopy of stars. Alone so he could share all his feelings for you that he hoped you would reciprocate. Everything changed though when you took that arrow to your shoulder, mere inches away from your heart. Shadowheart had patched you up and now Wyll was here devotedly at your side listening to you chastise yourself for being careless and already planning a counterattack on the enemy camp. Reaching out carefully Wyll grabbed your hand to bring your attention to his gentle face. “Today I thought I would have lost you. In our adventures, I know there will be times when one of us will get hurt, maybe even killed. Please let me show you the depths of my affection before I am ever able to.” “How will-” “May I kiss you?” surprised you and gave a nod, with your permission Wyll gently dipped down to your still body and kissed your lips softly. His lips were as soft as you imagined they would be. 

Wyll from the moment you meet him you always think of him as the most self-sacrificing and selfless person you have ever met. He would give the shirt off his back for a stranger if need be. But after watching him long enough you noticed how he carried heavy loads and pushed himself so thin, and when he thought no one was looking he would wince and rub his neck. He needs to be shown how to treat himself better. In his tent he was resting his sore muscles when you walked in, a bottle of fine-smelling oil in your hand. “What-” but you are quick to cut him off “You have been neglecting yourself, let me rub this into your skin. Halsin says it's good for healing, now shirt off.” his cheeks warm, that same matter-of-fact nature he adores. The rest of the night was spent gently massaging all the knots and aching pain from his muscles…and talks of your futures after this adventure. the plan? You two staying together…

Your skin was so hot against his lips, every sweet whisper from his lips made your once stone-like body shake. The party's leader, always so composed, until underneath him… “You look perfect, here…and here…” As Wyll mumbles his praises he kisses every one of your scars tenderly, worshiping you in a way you didn't know you needed. Words die in your throat as he goes lower and lower till his lips are wrapping around your sex and you feel his tongue licking against you sloppy…Is this what it's like being worshiped by another? 

Astarion

When first meeting Astarion he was not so impressed by your cool and collected demeanor. Everyone at the camp had their quirks and then there was you, like a perfect impenetrable wall. Of course, He thought you had something to hide and was determined to get to the bottom of it. First getting through your walls was a challenge, he tried flirting and intimidation tactics but found that they didn’t make you stir in the slightest. (when in fact you know you would go to your tent after those conversions holding your hand to your chest like your heart was going to explode, but he didn’t need to know that.) It wasn’t until he stopped his facade and was more honest that you started to open up as well. Over time as he found out who you were and you found out more about him the two of you became fiercely protective of one another. Definitely a stranger to friends to lovers situation. In fact, on your first date you didn’t even realize it was a date till he told you. You were odd and not always easy to understand but for the first time in a long time he wanted to have real intimacy with someone and you wanted to let down your protective walls. 

You had gotten to him today with your bluntness, of course, he played the whole thing off like he didn’t care but inside he did and it was eating away at him not knowing why. It's late, the time of night that no creatures stir, well only one kind of creature does…his kind. You're asleep on your bedroll by the fire as per usual. You always sleep next to its warmth, Astarion figures that's what you crave like most creatures, warmth; something his cold body could never provide to you. Astarion shakes the thought, why would he even think of holding you? He doesn't even like you. Your damned aloofness pisses him off to no end. But as he is about to leave your slumbering side, you reach out and touch him. Your heated skin warms his icicle-like fingers, he half expected you to wake and recoil, but you didn’t you seemed to be eased by it. Your plump lips parted slightly as you dream. Slowly leaning down he keeps his crimson eyes on your face, completely unaware of the danger you are in. This is where he bites your neck and drains you of your blood like the monster he is. But instead, he brings his cold lips to your warm ones and kisses you. After a moment he comes back to his senses and pulls away. As he looks down at you now there is just the slightest curl of a smile to your lips. Sweet dreams he supposes.  

Astarion, usually so charismatic and open to say anything he wanted, had seemed to be rather reserved lately. Now you are usually one to never notice these changes in people but when it comes to Astarion you couldn’t help but notice those subtle shifts. It was late, but you knew he would be up, you went into the tent he had been reading and immediately started to put on his cocky dementor when he saw you but you just ignored it and sat next to him. “So why do I get the pleasure of such a late night visit darling?” looking through his short stack of books you pick one that seems the most interesting to you, open it then speak, “You have seemed off, so this is me being here for you. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it, and I will leave if you would like.” you turn to look into his eyes “but spending time with you always makes me feel better so I am trying to do that for you.” Astarion seemed shocked but the confession for a moment before he gave you that rare soft smile. The night was spent in silence with you reading and he laid his head in your lap. Your warmth was exactly what he needed, but he wasn't ready to confess that yet.    

“Bite me…” Astarion looks down at you, your neck exposed and flushed, the slightest sheen of sweat causing you to glisten in the candlelight. He feels his gums itch above his fangs…he wants to feed from you…but would you think him a monster after? Insecurities and anxieties swirl in his mind. You two had just started getting intimate with one another…would this turn out to be too much for you, for him…Then a soft touch to his pale skin brings him back, “Star…Only if you're comfortable, but know I trust you. I just…I want to give you everything I can.” Your words are so calm, so confident in him, he loves it, feeling so safe with you. Leaning down slowly he Kisses your neck before sinking his teeth in. Your body tenses for a moment before you're lulling into the saccharine of pleasure. Breaking away he licks your running blood from your neck as he looks down at you. Please know…that he loves you, endlessly.

[fangswbenefits]

The Arrangement (11) - First Light

Chapter summary: A much needed discussion takes place and it ends with Astarion coating his daggers with poison.

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. Mentions of past trauma. Mentions of oral sex. Blood drinking,

Word count: 4.3k

Author's note: I am still unable to reply to comments (I'm waiting for tumblr support to fix this... I read all of the, I promise. You can also send and ask or head to ao3 so I can reply there. Thank you!

Series masterlist

Ao3

Wyll Ravengard was the picture-perfect of integrity.

Well, if you were to exclude his past dealings with the half-devil Mizora. But even then, he had been mostly justified in his assessment of the situation.

So it came as no surprise when you weren't able to find a single trace of judgement on his face.

Only evident concern.

Shadowheart had quickly filled him in on the Waterdeep situation as well as provided him with enough context when it came to Ava.

“Well, this is a… mess,” Wyll eventually drawled out.

Astarion, who was sitting to your right, immediately snickered. “Understatement of the year.”

Shadowheart, who was sitting to you left, promptly quipped, “I wonder whose fault that is.”

He leaned forward to glance at her. “Darling, all that pent-up frustration must–”

You heaved a deep sigh as you nudged him with your elbow, not in the mood to moderate their venomous exchange. “Enough!”

Wyll took a seat across from yours as a Fist stood by his side, hand clasping the handle of his sword in a silent warning.

“You should have told me about your arrangement with Ava,” he said, locking eyes with you. “I know all too well how some propositions are just rotten from the start and doomed to fail.”

Tension and guilt settled in the pit of your stomach.

Not even half an hour ago, you had been able to momentarily push aside the chaos that had been hurled at you in such short notice.

“It seemed like a fair exchange – if her words are to be believed, that is,” you said.

Wyll tensed up. “There is nothing fair about offering your blood to bloodthirsty fiends as an exchange.” He then glanced at Astarion. “No offense.”

He waved a hand dismissively. “None taken, darling.”

But Wyll did have a point even if your arrangement with Astarion was nothing akin to the one with Ava.

Yet…

“Nothing is set in stone. I don't have to go through with any of it.”

From beside you, Shadowheart managed an irritable look. “I cannot be the only one who finds all of this rather convenient. Even if there is someone connected to Cazador after you, why would she withhold that information? Doesn't she need you safe and sound, Astarion?”

“I suppose so, but who's to say? I would need to talk to her,” he said, eyes on Wyll. “I have to talk to her.”

Wyll immediately understood the implication in his words. “Now?”

“Well, obviously not now,” he said indignantly.

The sun was still up and dusk was hours away. 

“I don't think that's a good idea,” you intervened, heart racing in your chest. “We need to find out first if there's something that links all of this to Ava.”

“Regardless of that, she still needs to answer for her deranged proposition,” Astarion replied.

Shadowheart scoffed. “You were the one who endangered her in the first place with that bizarre deal.”

He was on his feet faster than you could blink, scowling. “Do not make the idiotic mistake of thinking you are the only one here who cares for her.”

She rose from the sofa, matching his defyance. “Oh, I am sure you care for her – in your own twisted way.”

“Can you two stop it?” you half-shouted, coming to stand in between them before he could retort. “This is pointless!”

They glared at each other in silence for a moment before parting ways, with Astarion sinking down on a chair whilst Shadowheart began pacing around the room, evidently distressed.

“My friends, we need to think critically here,” Wyll spoke again. “Arguing with each other is the last thing we ought to do right now.”

Silence followed as tension dispersed.

“Now, as we wait for Lae'zel and Gale to return, I must ask a few questions, Astarion.”

He crossed his arms. “Oh, this should be fun.”

Wyll ignored his snarky remark, assuming a more serious demeanour. “Why would you resort to her in the first place? Was her promise more solid than the Wish spell?”

“There were no promises made,” he said acidly, a nerve clearly having been struck. “She’s merely experimenting and the prospect seemed too good to pass.”

“So, your blood for a way to lessen your vampiric hunger? That was the deal?”

A cold shiver ran down your spine and you watched as Astarion tensed up slightly.

He had never shared with them just how deep the horrors he endured under Cazador's command truly twisted inside him.

How all of it had taken a toll on his ability to be intimate with someone without feeling tainted.

How it had ultimately driven him into striking a deal with someone like Ava as despair took root.

And it wasn't your place to reveal any of it.

So you merely sat back and observed him in silence.

“It seemed good enough back then,” he said coolly. “Besides, it could also be helpful to the spawn in the Underdark.”

That had Wyll arch an eyebrow. “The spawn?”

“Petras has been sending letters to report back, and – well, let's just say that dealing with 7,000 hungry vampire spawn isn't an easy feat,” he said. “I figured that if her experiment were to be successful, then it'd be beneficial for them as well.”

Oh.

Shadowheart waggled her eyebrows as her feet came to a halt. “So you weren't merely thinking about yourself?”

“Initially, yes. Of course.”

She rolled her eyes. “Of course.”

“However, I was the one who doomed them to eternal hunger, so it seemed fitting I'd help.”

“They were doomed either way,” you quickly pointed out. “And it was Cazador's doing.”

His head turned to you. “Be it as it may, their hunger isn't sated for long. I know that all too well.”

Astarion wasn't exactly the epitome of selflessness, but you knew he had come to change some of his ways in the past few weeks after all the events that had unfolded.

And when it came to his own hunger, you figured old habits did die hard.

His eyes then landed on your neck for a moment before looking away.

“I reckon I already know the answer to this, but did you even plan ahead?” Shadowheart said, crossing her arms. “How would you even make this feasible for thousands of spawn with just your own blood? Or were they really just an afterthought?”

Astarion narrowed his eyes. “Ava was handling the … logistics, shall we say. My blood would be the starting point, but not a requirement.”

She scoffed in utter disbelief. “And you took her word for it… blindly. You simply trusted some monster hunter with a blood fetish? This is ridiculous even for you.”

He was definitely a passionate admirer of the ‘laugh now, cry later’ school of thought, which also meant that when the consequences hit… they would hit hard.

“It's not like progress was being made with the Wish spell, sweetheart,” he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I saw an opportunity and I took it.”

A chill rushed through you like a knife. “Only a few weeks had passed, Astarion. All you had to do was wait–”

And then he snapped. His seemingly calm demeanour finally cracking open and revealing the hurt underneath.

“For centuries, all I did was wait! There were times I wished he would just destroy me once and for all to rid me of the burden of being ‘alive’ under such conditions,” he snarled, rising from the chair as he faced you. “I turned away from all that power I could have – the ritual… everything! I – I just…” His voice faltered and he heaved a sigh, reining back his outrage as his face softened into that expression that just broke you. “Is it such a crime that I want better for myself?”

You shook your head, feeling for him, but… “These things take time. Despair leads to rushed actions.”

He grimaced. “So you'd have me turn to hope?”

“Yes.”

He clicked his tongue. “There's nothing quite as cruel as hope, darling.”

You heard Wyll let out an exasperated sigh from across the room. “Astarion, I will not judge you for the decision you made to mingle with Ava – you had your reasons. But the consequences seem severe enough even if she isn't involved in either of the killings.”

He remained silent.

“It's not just about you anymore. She took an interest in her blood and is now using it as a bargaining chip,” he said. “That is unacceptable.”

“I fully agree with Wyll,” Shadowheart said as she came to sit next to you once again.

“And that is why you'll let me go to her,” Astarion said.

“You're still under house arrest. The Council of Four will–”

“To Hells with them all!” Astarion said through clenched teeth, fangs peeking through. “We're your friends, are we not? And since you're so adamant about my fault in this, allow me to set things right.”

“A good call,” Shadowheart chimed in with a nod.

Wyll seemed taken aback by his words and his frown deepened. “I may have the final word as the Grand Duke, but I cannot consciously go against a collective ruling.”

“The circumstances have changed,” Astarion retorted simply. “I will go to her and you're free to have your Fists point a thousand stakes at me along the way if it eases your mind.”

You could tell Wyll felt torn between duty and reasoning, and you didn't envy him in the slightest.

“You don't understand the consequences of–”

Astarion's face darkened and a devious smile tugged at his lips. “Oh, darling. I do understand. I simply do not care.”

Wyll took a deep breath, clearly realising he was fighting a losing battle.

He turned to face the Fist by his side. “Send word to the Council.”

The tall and broad man nodded before exiting through the front door.

“You can't be serious,” Astarion scoffed. “You should have kept this between us. They don't have to know.”

But Wyll merely shook his head. “We can do things your way and my way.”

Astarion pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. 

“I'm coming with you,” you said, fully determined..

Shadowheart immediately gripped your arm firmly. “No.”

Wyll rose from his seat. “He shall not go alone, but you don't need to get more involved in this than you already are.”

Astarion turned to face you and raised one hand. “Absolutely not. You stay.”

That made your blood boil almost instantly and a flash of anger crossed your face. “I can fend for myself. Just let me–”

But your words were muffled by a deafening swirling and pulsing sound that came from outside.

In no time, the door was slammed open as a visibly irritated Lae'zel stormed inside.

“Tsk'va! Mages and their nauseating portals,” she grumbled before closing the door shut and plunging the room in candlelight once again. “Almost spilled the contents of my stomach. Twice.”

Both you and Shadowheart flocked to her side and you spoke first, “Are you alright? Where’s Gale?”

She nodded dismissively, placing her esteemed greatsword on the long table. “He stayed behind to converse with a few of his acquaintances, trying to make sense of what happened.”

“Well? What happened, then?” Astarion asked as he approached the three with you with Wyll right behind him.

“The man succumbed to a multitude of slashing wounds.”

Your eyes widened as you gasped.

“Slashing wounds? Was it an animal? A monster?” Wyll immediately pressed.

“We do not know. It was a rather brutal sight even for someone like me,” Lae'zel said with a frown.

A shiver spread across your body and you felt nauseous all of a sudden.

“Was there anything odd about it?” Shadowheart asked.

“Because a man being brutally shredded to pieces isn't odd enough?” Astarion said with a scoff.

She ignored him. “Were there traces of necrotic magic?”

Lae'zel arched a brow. “No. What's with this interrogation?”

Shadowheart was definitely trying to find a common element between the two deaths… and Ava.

And it seemed that there was nothing there.

Yet.

“We are trying to figure out if Ava could have had a hand in this.”

Lae'zel didn't budge. “Who?”

“Ava.”

Lae'zel turned to Astarion. “Your hairdresser?”

This time, Shadowheart clicked her tongue impatiently, hands on her hips. “Astarion struck a deal with some monster hunter turned blood merchant and got her involved.” She extended one arm to at you. “This Ava woman now wants her blood for whatever nefarious reason and might also be the one to blame for the death that led to them getting arrest and – quite possibly – the one from today.”

Your eyes widened, quite astonished that she was able to spill all that information in one swift breath. 

If the circumstances weren't quite so dire, you would also have chuckled from how she sounded like a child who was telling her strict parent on her misbehaving sibling.

Astarion was obviously offended. “Conveniently leaving out the part where I am entitled to mingling with whomever I want, and that I was completely oblivious to Ava's finding and her proposal.”

Lae'zel glanced at you. “What proposal?”

“It's fine. Don't worry. I won't go through with any of it,” you said reassuringly, placing your hand on her wrist, knowing fully well she was itching to swing her sword on him. “This is all one big mess, but he truly didn't know.”

Shadowheart growled. “You do not have to keep defending him!”

Wyll spoke before you could. “Shadowheart. I understand your indignation, but we need to move on from the constant pointless bickering. What is done is done.”

Astarion clapped thrice. “Ah! The voice of reason!”

She threw him a death glare before crossing her arms and tapping her foot irritably on the floor, but not uttering another word.

Lae'zel, on the other hand, had her narrowed eyes set on Astarion. “You are fortunate she adores that pretty head attached to your body.”

“Was that a compliment, Lae'zel?” he taunted.

“Your ability to turn any remark into an opportunity to feed your ego is truly astounding, Astarion.”

He smirked happily in response. “I do my best – or worst, depending on your taste.”

“Enough of this,” you interjected as you stared at Lae'zel. “When is Gale returning?”

She shrugged. “Unclear. He is also trying to find another contact who might help out with the Wish spell.”

“No.”

All heads turned to Astarion.

His brows knitted together. “No. No one else is getting involved until we figure out what is happening.”

Your eyes met his in mingled surprise and confusion. 

Even Shadowheart was stunned silent as her face softened.

“I thought you wanted this more than anything,” Wyll asked.

“Well, yes. But not when people are turning up dead all around me.”

Lae'zel frowned. “So, all of this for nothing? Had a sudden change of heart about your inability to walk in the sun again?”

He rolled his eyes. “Heavens forbid I'm the one pointing the moral compass in the right direction. Don't act so surprised, darling. I still know what I want and what I need to do.”

You closed the distance between you and him, worry brewing in your heart.

“Astarion, the Wish spell isn't easy to come by. It's not easy to find someone willing to teach it and Gale is a powerful wizard and strong candidate,” you said, trying to reason with him as you placed a hand on his arm. “I understand your reluctance, but we might have to wait even longer if this opportunity is disregarded.”

He didn't even flinch. “This is ultimately my choice, and I choose to wait. I've had it with others dictating how I should feel and act. This is the sensible thing to do.”

For centuries, he had belonged to everyone – to anyone – but himself. 

Both in body and mind. 

So, if this was what he truly thought was best for him, who were you to deny him of it? Maybe you would have chosen differently, but this wasn't truly about you, was it?

He would tell you otherwise, of course. That you had been the stepping stone to his healing process since the nautiloid crash, but you couldn't and wouldn't take full credit for it.

This was a joint effort and you would empower him all the way through.

“I stand with you,” you said eventually said, breaking the silence.

He gradually relaxed under your touch.

Shadowheart spoke next, “I respect your decision, Astarion. We need to see if there is a link between the two deaths. I can go ahead through the portal and ask Gale to return.”

He nodded. 

“Very well,” she said with a curt smile.

Wyll approached the door. “I will inform the guards to accompany you once dusk hits, Astarion.”

He nodded again. “Thank you.”

Lae'zel then cursed and left the room with a loud bang behind her as the door closed shut.

Your hand came to his shoulder and his crimson eyes were on you again. “Let me come with you.”

“No.”

You scowled. “I'm not some frail sorcerer. I can stand by your side and help.”

This time, he chuckled. “Sweetheart, you are more capable than most of us combined here. My reluctance doesn't stem from my lack of faith in your abilities,” he said, voice firm and collected. “If anything were to happen to you because of me, I'd never forgive myself. Allow me to handle this.”

Your heart was hammering fast in your chest from his words, and even though you wanted to argue with his decision, you held your tongue back.

In truth, you were mostly scared Ava would have something up her sleeve and hurt him. That was what was eating at your nerves.

But still, you nodded

It was settled then.

You made your way down the corridor, coming to a halt as the faint glow spilled from inside his room.

The door was open for a change.

A comforting smile curled your lips, knowing you'd find him inside.

As you approached the doorway, you spotted Astarion across the room, flicking through a few pieces of cloth placed on the round table.

You knocked twice on the wood “May I?”

He nodded. “It's your house.”

“Well, it's your room,” you retorted. “For now, at least,” you quickly added, not wanting to seem overbearing. After all, he wasn't ultimately here on his own volition.

“You don't have to keep asking,” he said with a faint smile.

Your eyes landed on his bed as you walked in, causing your heart to skip a beat.

A few hours ago, the two of you had been lost in each other's pleasure on that very same spot. Now, the bedclothes had been laid sprawled across it, no creases or any remaining proof of your earlier endeavour.

The two of you had been robbed of after care and a much needed talk about what had happened.

Even if he had seemed quite content during and after all of it, you found yourself always hung on the fear that you had rushed through it all.

So, you needed the affirmation. You needed to hear his thoughts on it and to ensure no boundaries had been crossed.

You approached the table and your gaze roamed cross the clear vials that he had placed by his twin daggers. 

Odourless.

Colourless.

Poison.

“Lethal?”

He dabbed a selected piece of cloth on the clear liquid. “No.”

An uneasy feeling began to take root. “Do you think she'll try to hurt you?”

“It would be rather foolish of her,” he mused, dragging the damp fabric along each blade, coating them in a fine layer of poison. “But I've been wrong before about people, so – as they say – better safe than sorry.”

It wasn’t the reassurance you were seeking, but Astarion was more than capable when it came to self-defence.

“Besides, she needs me more than I need her,” he concluded, inspecting the glinting blade close to his eyes. “And if she fails to provide satisfactory answers, the Fists will deal with her.”

You nodded, but still failing to push your fear aside. “What if there is really someone after us? What if she's not connected to any of this?”

You had purposefully let out the faint implication that maybe there was a connection to Cazador. He didn't need to be troubled with that in case Ava was bluffing. 

Astarion sheathed both daggers on either side of his waist before his eyes landed on you. “If that is the case, then she will tell me who it is. And she better have a godsdamned good justification for why she thought I would allow you to be involved.”

You absentmindedly bit your lip and he smiled warmly, coming to stand in front of you, wiping his hands clean from any trace of poison.

Silently, he leaned to press a lingering kiss on your forehead, his cool lips making you flinch slightly.

It was as if a surge of lightning had been cast throughout your body, setting you alight.

“About earlier…” you said, swallowing your nervousness.

He traced your jawline with his thumb before tipping your head back so you could properly meet his gaze.

“Darling, already back for another round?”

You broke into laughter. “No! No… that wasn't what I trying to say.”

He tapped your nose lovingly and it was as if the two of you were long-time lovers, used to each other's teases and mannerisms.

Your heart skipped yet another beat.

“I know. Just couldn't miss the opportunity to have you all flustered for me again,” he said with a devious grin. “But do go on.”

“I just want to make sure… it was alright… what we did, I mean,” you said in a whisper.

Astarion's brows furrowed together. “I thought that was pretty much evident…”

A lump swelled in your throat.

You truly didn't want to overstep any lines.

But you had to know. You had to hear it.

“I am talking about… up here,” you said, pressing a finger softly to his temple. “I… just want to make sure you're truly fine. That we're truly fine.”

You held your breath for a moment, dreading a worrisome reply.

He caught hold of your hand and pressed your finger to his lips. “I will always tell you if it's too much.”

A wave of relief washed over you and you allowed yourself to breathe normally.

Still…

You swallowed again. “Promise?”

“I promise, sweetheart,” he said, using your own finger to tap the tip of your nose, earning a heartfelt giggle from you. 

“So… it wasn't too much?”

“No,” he said truthfully.

You nodded as he gripped your chin. “How did it feel?”

He paused for a while, pondering. “It felt… right.”

Your stomach turned and your heart sped up from how close he was to you.

How close he felt to you.

“I want to kiss you,” he said all of a sudden. “May I?”

You felt as though you would melt into a puddle from how desperate he sounded.

“You don't have to always ask,” you said truthfully.

He then pressed his cool lips to the corner of your mouth and you instinctively gasped. “I just adore the sound of your voice when you let me in.”

His lips moved to the opposite side, lingering there, and a rush of heat pooled in your cheeks.

“May I kiss you, darling?” he asked once more, pulling back just enough for his lips to barely touch yours. “May I taste you?”

Gods…

“Please do.”

He didn't need to be told twice.

The kiss started off slow at first as his lips molded into yours. But as soon as you made way for his tongue to slide inside, Astarion became the image of hunger.

He cradled your face in his hands and pressed both thumbs on your chin, so you'd open up wider for him.

A flash of memory filled your mind and you recalled how he used to do the same whenever you were on your knees, struggling to fit his thick cock in your mouth.

“You can take more of me, can't you, my sweet?” he'd say, voice dripping with lust.

You'd always struggle at first. Always. But he was such a caring lover and he would always ensure you took your time.

You quickly shuddered as your clit began throbbing evenly. 

His tongue was as relentless against yours as his cock had once been, but his eagerness and hunger had his razor-like fang nip at your lower lip, drawing blood.

“Shit,” you groaned from the sharp sting.

Astarion immediately pulled back and you stared at him in confusion.

You felt a few drops dribbling down your chin.

Why wasn't he tasting you?

His eyes were fixed on your lips and his eyes narrowed with bloodlust.

“You're letting it go to waste?” you asked, swiping your finger across the bleeding wound.

He swallowed with a strained smile. 

Oh, he was struggling to hold back…

“Well, darling… I don't intend on leaving the house with my cock hard with your blood.”

You clenched so hard you felt a gush of wetness being squeezed out.

But there was only so much Astarion could withstand, so you couldn't fight the moan that tore through your throat as he placed the softest kiss to your lip.

“Just before I go,” he whispered. “So I can take you with me.”

You clenched again and you could feel your clit swell up with each throb.

He eventually parted from you, licking his blood-stained lips as his eyes held that lustful gaze you adored.

“I'll be back soon.”

You were left petrified in place as he swiftly made his way out.

It wasn’t fair how soaked you were.

How soaked he had left you.

You glanced over your shoulder and realised the door had been left open all along and you rushed to the window, tugging on the curtain.

The sun had set as he appeared down below, followed closely by two Fists.

And the single mage slayer.

The three of them trailed after his steps and darted off into the distance.

And you realised that without a mage slayer around to keep your magic at bay, you could simply vanish.

You glanced at the vials of poison on the nearby table and smiled.

TBC

Series masterlist

Ao3

[honeydippedwaffles]

Smallest Drop - Part 2

Summary: Seeing as part one went well, I present to you the continuation but this time, from Astarion's point of view. Thank you all so much for your support. It makes me so happy to know the fandom is enjoying my work.

He honestly doesn't know what Tav wants from him or why she keeps stirring weird emotions in him and she only further confuses when she presents him with a thoughtful gift.

There will be a part 3. Tav is not mentioned by name.

Content Warnings: She/Her Tav

Word Count: 2.2k words

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

Astarion never considered himself particularly lucky but he knew how to adapt to situations beyond his control – keep himself alive and everything. He’d proven himself to be talented enough to seduce well, just about anyone.

Just about anybody it would seem but not a single member of the strangest group imaginable, also known as the one he’d chosen to travel with.

Because luck would mean the most frustrating woman in the world would be the one he aimed to… shall he say, convince about the benefits of staying close to his side.

Oh, she wasn’t exactly immune to his charms. He could see the effects when he moved close to her and her lips curled into a natural smile, attention flickering to him in anticipation of what he wanted to say. She brushed against his shoulder whenever she wanted to pass and laughed at his snide remarks.

All the things that he would usually consider a success; a sign he’d managed to win her heart in some form.

But then, she also went and did the absolute opposite.

Instead of pulling him aside in the camp when he offered and allowing him to drag his lips along her throat, she dragged him into the middle of the group to socialize. She leaned into his touches and then ran off to help save another puppy or whatever else caught her attention.

It annoyed Astarion because he knew she liked him but he didn’t know what she wanted from him. They’d spent one evening together and she appeared keen on more but then rather spent her nights teaching an owlbear how to sit.

Admittedly, a very cute pastime but still.

She ran a bath for him, washed his hair, and then promptly left him alone in the water instead of joining him for some fun. If he understood, he could easily provide but she made the first part infuriatingly difficult.

“Alright,” he said after she’d caught him staring into a blank mirror and spurned agitation in him by reminding him that he didn’t, in fact, know what colour his eyes once were. “Tell me what you see when you look at me. Surely you can describe my appearance well enough.”

She giggled and put a hand to her chin, as though considering. “I think we’d be sitting here the whole night if I did that. You’re so pretty, it’s unfair.”

Pride curled hot in his chest and his irritation simmered. Amazing how easily she managed to do such a thing. “Oh? Then name your favourite.”

She reached out to brush a strand of hair away from his face, freezing only when the action had already startled both of them. Astarion wondered why she stopped for only a second before he realised he’d shifted away from the touch, a movement done on instinct rather than thought.

Shit. That wasn’t going to help him.

She dropped her hand as though nothing happened. “I refuse to believe becoming a vampire changed you that much. There’s no way you weren’t this gorgeous before.”

She knew how to appeal to his vanity and the strangest thing about it was, he didn’t feel as though she did it on purpose. Her ceaseless flattery came naturally to her.

“It’s been over two hundred years since I last saw it and memories fade.”

A lie but not an important one. He remembered everything since the day he woke up in his coffin, panicked and struggling to breath though he didn’t need to. The pain of transforming, the agony of starvation, and unending confusion. Nothing slipped away and he hated it. Despised how the memories shoved their way forward.

But for now, he refused to think of them and instead waited to see what she thought of. She pressed her lips together tightly before she spoke.

“The first thing I noticed when I met you were your eyes. They’re red, obviously, but they’re also strong and piercing. You also get these crinkles beside them when you laugh.”

Again with the strangest compliments. Still, he took them in his stride this time. “That’s better. What else?”

“The way you smile. It’s dangerous and sharp but occasionally, genuine. It’s enough to charm anybody, I would say.”

He offered her a smile in response, pleased with the praise. He preened beneath her pretty words and happily took the knowledge close to heart. Meaningless flattery had always been one of his favourite things.

“Now just tell me I’m beautiful and we’ll call it a day.”

She laughed and tilted her head to the side. “You’re beautiful. I thought that much was obvious.”

But something in the way she said it ruined everything. She took the most boring compliment of the lot and meant it deeper than all the others. The teasing tone easily exposed the truth and the pride disappeared, replaced by something he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Thank you,” he said. “Now was there any real reason for you to make your way over here?”

She didn’t really want anything but he’d almost expected it. Everything she found on their journey eventually got shared with him and today, she spoke about some woman’s letter she’d found. Nothing important.

Astarion thought that would be the end of it.

He continued to flatter her to make sure she always preferred him above their other companions and was rewarded when she continued to seek him out first. An entirely selfish action truly but she offered him a path forward.

The others had their strengths but something about her united them the best. If a chance existed where he could retain this ability to stand in the sun, he had no doubt she would be his best way there.

Even if she did insist on carrying about so much nonsense she found whenever they went out and helped every person with the smallest problems.

But then she found an empty book lying on the floor somewhere and she immediately began staring at him whenever it was open, scribbling away inside but always staring at him over the edges. Every time he offered her a quizzical glance, she smiled and continued with whatever she was doing.

She showed it to Wyll and Gale a few times but never brought it over for him to see.

Of course, if Astarion really wanted to, he could find what waited in those pages easily.

The parasite provided an easy path forward but she would know he wanted something when he dug around in her head. He didn’t sleep most nights but she rested deeply; deeply enough to allow a vampire to drink from her throat without even waking her like the true fool she was.

She knew, even laughed when he complimented her the next morning, but never once complained, just told him he was welcome back whenever.

Originally, he thought she may be too trusting but he learned quickly how wrong that assumption was. She didn’t believe most of the people who tried to sway her to their side; straightened her back and glared when they tried to trick her and often even stood between them and her companions.

Which meant, somehow, he’d earned her trust.

Ridiculously stupid as it was for her to trust him, he didn’t want to lose the privilege and so he left her book alone until the next time she spent too long staring over its top.

“I do hope you’re writing something fun in those pages,” he said. “If you let me read them, I’m sure we can make them happen.”

She laughed at the suggestion. “No, it’s nothing like that. I’m just trying to draw you.”

He lowered his goblet a little in confusion, unsure how to respond to such a thing. “Draw me?”

“Well, you complained so much about not being able to see yourself in the mirror so I thought this would be the next best option. Come here and I’ll show you.”

She patted the spot on the ground beside her but Astarion didn’t move. Of all the things he’d expected from her, he hadn’t anticipated a recall of the strange conversation from before. Certainly not for her to have spent several days on such a thing.

“Come on,” she welcomed him. “I’m not horrible at art, I promise.”

He shook off the surprise and forced a laugh. “My apologies, I got distracted watching those adorable cheeks of yours flush. It’s absolutely delicious to see the way the sun burns your skin.”

“Oh, that wasn’t the sun,” she said. “If you’re talking about this.” She twisted a little so he could see a deeper red mark on her chest and where it curled over her shoulder. “You know the chest I kept fiddling with beneath the grove? Turns out it was trapped but don’t worry, Shadowheart promised it would fade with time.”

He honestly hadn’t been speaking of anything but he found himself annoyed at her for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint. “Well, I suppose that’s what you must deal with when you’re obsessed with looting everything we come across.”

“It’s profitable,” she teased. “Now do you want to see what I’m drawing or not?”

He took his time to saunter over and sink into a relaxed seat beside her. The sun had begun to set and its final rays danced over her skin as she shifted closer, leg brushing against his own as she turned the pages to him.

“It’s not perfect,” she warned. “You’re not an easy person to capture on the page but it’s something.”

True to her words, the book had been filled with sketches from the front to the back. Some crude and others detailed but every single one was of him. Close ups, full bodies, and even a few in action with daggers drawn. Had she truly drawn them from memory alone?

“I keep getting frustrated when they don’t come out right,” she said. She leaned back so she was lying against the grass, attention on the sky. “I’ve asked the others but they can’t tell what I’m doing wrong either. They’re just not right.”

He turned the pages slowly, not sure how he should respond to a gift like this.

Seeing his face showed truth to her words. He hadn’t changed awfully much in these years. The great care put into this though… she’d spent ages detailing his hair on others and even put dapples of sunlight over others from when they’d been travelling through the forest.

They didn’t have many hobbies to pass the time while travelling (not unless you counted Lae’zel who appeared to be collecting more and more heads as they continued on) but this must have taken so much of her waking hours.

The emotion that crept up his throat was unwelcome and difficult to recognise. It made his unbeating heart twist uncomfortably and he immediately snapped the book shut.

She nudged him to get his attention. “Well? What do you think? We can hire a professional when we reach a bigger city but it’s a temporary solution.”

He forced the smile and it felt wrong. “I doubt even a professional will capture me right. It’s as you said, difficult to capture perfection.”

She laughed. “I’ll try again tomorrow but with our plans, I think you’re going to be in a foul mood and I don’t want to draw you when you’re sulking.”

“Me? Sulk? I couldn’t possibly imagine why when you’re making me trudge through a swamp.”

She grinned and for a second, the briefest moment, he felt something tug on his chest when he looked at her. Fondness. His panic flared immediately and he turned his gaze away, uncomfortable suddenly with the attention she lavished upon him.

Curse her and her ridiculous book. Yet another strange aspect of her life – one that tempted him to flee in the middle of the night and never return to this group and their insistence on helping people.

But he knew he couldn’t. He couldn’t give up the safety provided by them yet.

“I’ll be happy to take this off your hands darling,” he said to her, holding up the book. “Keep it safe and make sure it doesn’t disappear in the night.”

“You will not. It’s mine until I get at least one drawing of you right and then you can have it.”

He leaned over her, placing one hand on the ground beside her hip. “Wouldn’t you rather the real thing? We can make some references for more enticing artwork in the future.”

She stared at him, briefly frozen as he drifted a faint touch over her thigh. The flare of lust in her eyes made him comfortable again. This was something he understood. An emotion he recognised. She still wanted him; she must if she spent all this time trying to draw him.

She moved closer and her breath brushed over his cheeks, her eyes locked on his.

He waited, about to close the gap, when she suddenly kissed him on the nose, grabbed the book from his hand, and rolled away with a laugh.

Astarion was left blinking as she tucked the book into her pouch.

“I’ll let you have it when I’m done but that does sound like fun. Unfortunately, this evening though, I managed to talk Wyll into giving me some dance lessons so I’m booked. You should join if you feel up to it.”

He huffed and tried not to let the strange jealousy return as she ducked away towards the others.

Taglist: @rosenightwings , @tragicdruid , @bloopthebat , @venus-wrts

[e-m-ma-lmfao]

Hi hii, I've seen your requests are open and I was wondering if I could request somewhat one-sided Astarion x reader/Tav/he catches feelings first kinda situation??? Pretty please, love your writing 🙏

Too Generous Too Kind

pairing : astarion x (gn) reader

summary : astarion has travelled by your side for weeks and it makes his stomach churn when he grows to trust you, the trust turns into something more and he feels even worse.

warnings : astarion's scars, reader is injured.

For weeks Astarion had been travelling by your side. And for weeks he was under the impression he was only using you to get to Baldur's Gate safely. You were a powerful ally, an asset to his plan of revenge. 

He would stand by your side, of course, and watch your back as you had always watched his. But he couldn’t hold back how aggravating you were, you didn’t care whether he approved of your decisions or not. You made your own, walked your own street, and he was forced to follow it if he wanted to keep you around. 

And for weeks he had watched you talk your way out of situations, or convince a trader to give you free supplies. A master with your words. He watched as you lied and manipulated, and it made his faith in you soar. 

But then you would turn around and help a helpless child or a person that meant nothing to you, and his respect for you waivered. Why did they deserve any of your help? It’s not like they helped you in any way. And they definitely wouldn’t help you the same way you chose to help them if it were you stranded on the side of the road with no help. They would leave you, he was sure of it. He would, just like everyone had done to him, no one was deserving of your help if they had nothing to give you in return. 

So constantly you would find yourself in front of him, as he yelled at you and glared down at you with fire burning behind his eyes. He was tired of wasting time with people who didn’t matter. “Must you stop to help every worthless person we find on the side of the road?” His voice is venomous and unimpressed. It’s not the first time he has made a complaint, and him continuing to be unacknowledged was becoming more and more irritating each time he tried.

“You’d regret saying that if it was you on the side of the road, and we left you to grovel in your own misery.” Your arms are crossed, disciplinary stare on your face like he’s a child. He hates it. 

It’s not like anyone ever stopped to help him in the past.

Too generous. Too kind. 

Sure it gave you allies, and more often than not they would reward you for your good deed. But still, you could’ve killed them and taken it from their cold, dead body. Or he could’ve pickpocketed them for you, no time wasted. 

Astarion only feels his opinion change when your actions begin to affect him and not just the strangers you pass by through your travels. 

Suddenly he feels himself growing overwhelmingly close to you. Close enough that he feels he’s safe to tell you about Cazador and the threat he may play in your life in the future, and in a moment of privacy, just you and him, he offers to show you the scars on your back. You're not sure what to say at first, you just stare and it makes his skin crawl with insecurity. 

He shivers when your fingers meet his back to trace along the lines, “He did this?” He can only nod, embarrassed by this moment of transparency and weakness. God forbid he try to speak and all that comes out is a wobbly, pathetic cry where a snide comment laced with sarcasm should be.

You grab his shoulder to turn him around, holding both his hands in your own with a tightness that has his skin crawling in a different way. “I won’t let him hurt you again, we won’t, all of us, you'll never have to fight him alone. We’ll help you, no matter what,” Your thumbs swipe across the skin of his pale and shaky fingers and it sends heat up his cold arm,  “I’ll help you.” 

It’s so genuine and so sincere, it almost makes the air catch in his lungs. 

His eyes widen, and he has to force himself to hide how grateful he is to hear the words leave your mouth. He hadn’t realized that he’d forgotten what it was like to feel safe. To have someone who cares for him so much that they would put their life in danger to protect him. You were always kind to the helpless and needy, he just never thought he would allow himself to fit that description again, especially not in front of you.

You barely know him. You barely know his story, you’ve only seen his scars once and briefly heard of his former master's cruelty. But you’re ready to lay your life down for his cause. For him. To protect him. He feels lighter, holding the weight of Cazadors power on two pairs of shoulders instead of his alone..

Too generous. Too kind. 

For a while, he finds himself to be less annoyed by the way you stop to help. He doesn't mind as much when it inevitably slows the journey down. It still bothers him but finds it easier to manage when he sees the satisfactory smile you wear after. The sight almost makes a proud smile appear on his own face, smile lines subtly deepening before he wipes the evidence away.

You impress him, through it all. You hold your own while managing to deal with everyone else’s problems on your back, and while he hates the way you try to help everyone, he admires the way you handle it all.

Again his opinion changes when you reach Moonrise Towers. Whilst exploring, you meet a woman named  Araj, a drow, who offers a potion of immense power in exchange for Astarions teeth sinking into her skin. The mere idea has you scoffing, the potion would be nice but you would never jeopardize Astarions freedom in exchange for something that would only benefit yourself. 

But she pushes, even after Astarion declines. He is clearly uncomfortable and her continuous attempt to convince him has your blood boiling, face beginning to develop a red tinge from frustration.

“Excuse me if I’m mistaken but I’m sure I just heard him say no..”

“And I’m sure you can tell him to change his mind, he is yours, correct? I assume he follows your orders.” Your eyebrow raises at the suggestion that Astarion was anything but his own being. Your party is murmuring behind you, Karlach’s hand finding a place on your shoulder to tell you to calm down before things get out of hand. 

Even Astarion feels himself becoming concerned for how this would pan out. He’d never seen you so angry. A part of him was touched that you could be so angry on his behalf. But the majority of his mind is conflicted on if he should step in before you rip this woman's head clean off her shoulders. 

You feel your mouth open to shout at the drow in front of you but Astarions fingers slip within your own, squeezing in warning. Your mind clears a little, and you take a deep breath to calm your breathing. Karlach and Shadowheart stare at the scene in silence, but Karlach’s fingers give your shoulder another reassuring squeeze before slipping away. 

“I don’t own him, if that’s what you're trying to imply. He’s his own person. Who can make his own decisions, and he said no. That’s the last I’ll hear of the matter.”

A vampire spawn, a slave to Cazador for so many years, suddenly with the ability to act on his own and think for himself. His heart swells. He can’t think of any other word to describe how he feels but grateful. But maybe something else is lingering deeper underneath? Whatever the feeling is, it clouds his mind and puts a weight on his chest.

Later at camp he dwells on it, it’s hard not to see how your tired eyes consistently meet him. What could you be thinking? He can’t stop focusing on the way you speak to everyone but him, and jealousy is beginning to fester around his tent. What did he do to make you ignore him? When you finally reach him to say goodnight, his jealousy from earlier returns and he wants to send you away, but he can’t. 

“Thank you..” He’s cut you off before you can say goodnight and walk away from him, and you're stunned. His voice is soft, much softer then he wanted it to be, but he allows his tone to stay the same. Trust. Trusting you without realizing. 

“For what exactly?”

“For what you did at Moonrise. You could’ve forced me to go through with that..but you didn’t,” Astarion feels his eyes soften, stomach turning, “And I’m grateful.”

He gets anxious in front of your eyes when you don’t say anything. But his body becomes lighter when your arms wrap around him. He is certain it’s not a hug for your own comfort, but for his. And going against every instinct in his body that tells him to push you away, he hugs you back, wrapping his arms around you.. 

“I want you to know I will never put you in a position where you don’t have free will. You control yourself, Astarion, I will never jeopardize your freedom for my own benefit. You're a member of my party..you're my friend. I could never do that to you.” 

Friend? He couldn’t remember the last time he had someone to call a friend. If ever. But the words have him squeezing you closer to his body, face slipping into the crevice of your neck. 

“I was worried you might’ve been mad at me for refusing her, you were ignoring me. I wasn’t sure what I had done..” His words pull at your heart, you hadn’t meant to make him feel that way..

“Astarion..” 

“Hm?” He doesn’t move, he’s not sure if he wants to. Astarion is sure that he could hold you like this for as long as you would let him. 

“I didn’t mean to ignore you.. I was actually deciding how I should apologize..” 

“Apologize for what, dear?” He scoffs in your ear, he’s so close and the pet name flows with ease from his lips. If it were any other man you wouldn’t have noticed.

“For how I handled her today. I should’ve stayed calm. I just..I got so angry and she kept pushing and I was scared that she would do something to you..” 

The feeling is back in his chest, heavy and heating his face. His arms tighten and it silences your rambling, “Don’t apologize for being angry. You did nothing wrong… I actually quite appreciate your anger on my behalf. You didn’t have to but I appreciate that you denied her. I was certain you were going to kill her.” A chuckle stumbles from his lips, breath heavy on your ear. 

“I might’ve if you didn’t step in.” He pulls away from you, hands still resting on your arms, and disappointment fills your body. 

Astarion feels it again when your eyes look up into his with comfort painted across your face, a jab at his heart, and he is certain. He’s smitten and he can’t help the way his eyes fill with adoration. 

You wear a small smile on your face, filling him with comfort, but a sadness lingers in his mind. The fact is , you don’t feel the same and it causes his heart to become heavier. His hands fall from your arms, waving you off with a gentle goodnight before entering his tent. You stay standing in confusion, it sends your thoughts spiraling as you leave towards your own tent. 

Too generous. Too kind.

The next few days he is dazed, distracted and it shows. He misses his shots, when you speak to him his mind is elsewhere and the words you deliver slip through his ears. Everyone is clearly annoyed. 

But he cannot see it. He truly can’t see or hear anything, his thoughts are screaming at him about you. He cares for someone other than himself. He is depending on someone who is not himself.  He’s worried for your well-being, and he knows you’d be better without him by your side. He’s a burden with his mission to defeat Cazador, and he thinks about leaving.

And he thinks about you again. Every time he draws his bow, the thought of losing you fills his head and his fingers slip, arrow flying with unfocused aim. You trip and his previously unattentive eyes fly to your body, catching your arm in his tight grip to keep you from falling. The only words he speaks are soft, “I’ve got you.” He doesn't wait for your acknowledgement before he slips back into his clouded mind. 

He is unaware of his surroundings. He isn’t paying attention. Even when you’re fighting and he is tasked with shooting, he isn’t fully there. 

But when a cry leaves your mouth, hand clutching your side where you’ve been stabbed, he suddenly sees all. He’s breathing heavily as he rushes to your side to hold his hand on your wound, putting pressure on it. “I’ve got you..I've got you. please..you're gonna be okay..”

His eyes don’t leave yours as Karlach lifts you. He holds your fingers in his own as she carries you to camp for the night. He doesn't leave your side , even after everyone has gone to sleep, and your eyes have closed he remains. 

“Astarion?” 

Eyes wide, he looks up tiredly from where his eyes were staring at your wound. “Oh..gods. I’m so sorry..” His forehead falls onto your thigh in a huff.

“W..what?” You let your hand fall onto his head, concerned and not fully awake yet. 

“I’m so sorry..I..I let you get hurt. I was distracted and you got hurt because of me, my love.” 

“Astarion, what are you talking about? What..” You wince as you try to sit up, Astarion lifting his head from your lap instantly when he hears the hiss leave your mouth. 

He slips his fingers into your hand, squeezing tightly. “I..I couldn’t stop thinking..and I wasn’t paying attention. If I was..you never would’ve been hurt.” 

His words would almost make you laugh if they weren’t so somber, “Astarion please..this is not your fault.” 

“I knew this would happen..”

“What?” 

“I’m only putting you in danger, being in this group, I’ll only be a burden on you. This will keep happening..” 

Your heart sinks, “Astarion..”

“No..”, His eyes won't meet yours, “I can’t stay any longer. I need to find Cazador.” You open your mouth to speak but he already knows what you're about to say, “Without you.” 

“No..no way!”

“Please..just..” His fingers squeeze around yours again, “I can’t keep hurting the person I love. I can’t do it..not to the only person who's ever allowed me to feel safe.” 

“Astarion..” You place your other hand over his, sitting up straighter to put your face in his, “If you think for a minute that you can get away with telling me you love me, just to run away and leave me, you’re mistaken.” Your foreheads meet, head falling to touch his while lifting your head to cup his cheek in your palm, thumb rubbing over a dried patch of blood on his face. 

He stayed by your side when he could’ve gone to rest and clean himself off, and it makes your heart swell in your chest. You figured you would be alone when you woke up but here Astarion sits in front of you with dried blood covering his face and making his strands of his hair hard under your fingers, eyes tired but still open. 

“Besides I told you, you’d never have to fight him alone..ever again.” 

“I can’t do this to you.” His eyes close, lips pursing. 

“You're not doing anything to me, we're in this together. I promise. ”

“I..”

“Astarion. I said we're in this together. You can leave but you better believe I will follow you until the end to keep you safe. Just like you keep me safe..”

Too Generous. Too Kind.

He opens his eyes to look into yours. They’re so soft, searching your eyes for genuinity. He is unsure whether you mean everything you're saying. But Astarion is sure then as he searches, you’ve never been more truthful in your life. You mean everything. His barricade is broken and he slowly moves in to plant his lips softly to yours, hands shaking against your skin. 

It's soft and unsure. Just like he is. And he doesn’t stay there long in fear of making you uncomfortable, or god forbid he irritates your injury. You can’t help but smile at the genuine smile that peeks out at his lips. 

“So..the person you love?”

“Careful..I can still take it back.” 

[tripleyeeet]

STUPID, DASHING VAMPIRE

SUMMARY: Astarion attempts to help you after a bad flare up.

PAIRING: Astarion & Gender Neutral Reader

WORD COUNT: 1,110

WARNINGS: Descriptions of chronic pain. Also unedited because I can't be bothered, my hands hurt too much.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Had a bad flare up and decided to whip up something a bit indulgent for all the arthritic bitches out there. <3

MASTERLIST

-

“Darling?”

You hear him call to you from the doorway, a hint of curiosity laced in his words, most likely wondering why you’re still here. As he comes up to greet you, you notice the soft expression that quickly turns into worry once he sees you, both brows moving towards the centre of his face as he crouches down. 

“Are you alright?”

Wedged between your thumb and your forefinger the lock pick you’re attempting to use sits idle in your hands, refusing to budge through the stiffness of your joints as you sigh. 

At this point, you’ve been at it for ages —trying to will your digits to perform the simplest of duties. Originally, the plan was for Astarion to loot the other room while you’d work through this one but not long after you’d started you began to feel that familiar itch. That pulsating ache that often hits you after a long day’s worth of travelling. 

“I’m fine. It’s just —it’s—“

Frustrated, you force your hands to drop the lock pick. Hearing it clatter to the ground, you deeply inhale and bring your frozen hands to your temples, pressing your wrists against the heated skin, realizing it’s been a while since you’ve had a flareup this bad. So long that you almost forgot how awful it could feel. How such a small, innocuous sensation could become so largely detrimental to your well-being. 

“Is it just your hands?” 

Already knowing, he reaches out for your palms, pulling them away from your face as he further situates himself on the floor, watching you shake your head. 

“Back too?”

This time you nod, swallowing hard once you feel his focus shift to your left hand, turning it over so that the palm faces both of you. 

“My poor little pet.” He shakes his head, a sombre smile creeping across his face as he presses his thumbs into the muscles of your hand, roughly gliding across it in repeated motions. “What am I to do with you, hm?” 

You roll your eyes, a sliver of annoyance passing through as he clicks his tongue arrogantly. “Your sarcasm is unappreciated, you know.”

“So is the lack of regard towards your own health.”

Raising his brow at you, you realize then his concern is genuine. That, despite the chastising tone he offers, there are also a few inklings of sympathy laced throughout, showcasing themselves in the form of rough fingers that try to ease your pain. 

As much as you hate to admit it, you’re thankful for them. Thankful for him, as he works to soothe the residual pain that radiates up through your wrist, catching at your stiffened elbow.  

“You don’t have to do this, you know. I can—”

“What? Do it yourself?” 

You go to respond but suddenly feel a stabbing pain in your lower back, making you wince. 

Gods, somehow it’s worse than you remember.

“Darling, as much as I love your unwavering resilience, I think it’s best I let you know that sometimes you tend to overdo it.” 

Normally, you’d be tempted to argue but right now all you can feel is the collective agony pooling throughout your bones. All the twitching and the aching —each section of discomfort working together to render you useless against his hands that begin to move to your other hand.

Once there, he moves to repeat the motions. Taking both of his thumbs and digging them into your flesh, he circles around each spot, gripping your fingers in place as you lean back in an attempt to alleviate your lower back.

“Does this even help or am I just rubbing your hand for no reason?”

You huff out a pained laugh, watching him break out into a grin. One that’s all teeth and tongue —cheeky looking. 

“I mean, it’s not not helping.”

“But it’s not the cure to your ailment, I assume.” 

You nod but make no effort to stop him as his fingers continue to move across your skin, applying enough pressure so that you can really feel the labour he so graciously offers you. 

“Is there something else you usually do, or?”

“Lay down and cry mostly. Wait for it to pass.” 

He snorts. “How awfully depressing.” 

You shrug your shoulders, watching as he performs a few more swipes with his thumbs, really getting in there for those final pushes before he releases your hand altogether, making you sigh. 

“We should probably get you back to camp then, hm?”

Suddenly, moving to stand, he continues to grin at you in a way that makes your chest tighten, watching as he offers his hand, wiggling his fingers impatiently. “C’mon now, darling, we don’t got all day. The sun will be setting and I’m sure the camp would appreciate you getting all that weeping over and done with before bed time.” 

You drop your jaw in false annoyance, offering your hand to him. “Wow, you’re really just going to throw my own misery back in my face like that, huh?” 

“Obviously.” 

Gently pulling, you feel that same painful shift in your spine that forces you to wince again, prompting Astarion to rush back down, filling with concern as he asks if you’re alright.

“Mhm, yup never better,” you say through gritted teeth, feeling his arm immediately snake around your waist, pulling you tightly against his hip. 

“You’re a terrible liar.” 

“And you’re a bully who makes fun of ill people.” 

He huffs and gently drags you up to your feet as you groan in response, feeling the tightness of your back begin to loosen thanks to the new position. 

“Good?” 

Tentatively stepping forward, you let out a sigh of relief once you realize that it is. That, instead of your body completely inhibiting you as it so often does, this time it’s granted you enough reprieve to be able to walk on your own. To slowly step forward through the doorway, watching as Astarion hovers cautiously beside you, reaching out to grab your waist as you falter for a moment. 

“Please don’t overdo it. I’d hate to have to carry you all the way back.”

Gripping his shoulder, you offer him a smug look. “As if you could.”

His jaw clenches in response as he further wraps his arm around you, gently digging his fingers into your side. “Big talk coming from someone who can barely walk without the help of their dashing vampire friend.” 

You roll your eyes and look away, feeling his previously rough hand begin to soften against you, once again rubbing soft circles, this time along your side as you move through the doorway, thankful for your stupid, dashing vampire.

-

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo@jjfchk@idiotsatan@bluestuesday@bloopthebat@art-by-greenie@heneralmoon@sukunababe@dreamingaboutyousworld@ranfithegood@haniscrying@liadamerondjarin@the-lake-is-calling@marina-and-the-memes@rookieoftheyear@zraloci-cpr@kaetmo@snickerdoodle-daydream@wowowwild@d1anna@raswiet@conniesbbymama@venus-wrts@demonicthorns@kihten@deadglamsheep@sanscas@spammypasta@leighsartworks216@rose-gold-blue@p1ssmagg0t@hellish-writes@ghostinvenus@otayz@sexysquatch@sleepyeclair@colorful-anxieties@alina-exe@ilana-the-lasagna@lillifer@girlwiththepapatattoo@y2cade@acelin-ginsberg@pinkuranium@catrad0rable@scarletrosesposts@qwnamidala@itsrosebabe@bunnyperi@queenofcarrotflowers-s@tatumadams20@spkyxszn@chlort@f3v3rs@awkwardwookie@joy-the-reader@warm-milk-with-honey-blog@vertigocrime@iyis@wildpiper@pebblethestone@tillywasneverhere@bex-03@kaetmo@revemiya@staticspouse@itzagothamcitysiren@djarinsmixtape@when-the-night-came@epicy0n@bababahannah@sleepyred1703@lotus-99@lofcompass@r4d10h34d5@vampninjaz@itsmekalou@offbrandhand@yikes-buddy@konenichi@rainonarden@oceanbluesixeyes@bodtyworship@maydayitsjay@greasyslimebucket@yeeteth-the-raven@fantasyfairysworld@allexthakatt@flowersaretheshit@morglyne@thespectacularspaceace@cephiss0@use-your-telescope@furblrwurblr@kloverfield@angelofthorr@writervaul-t@starved-kitten@minixluvr@crowley--aziraphale@sapphicwren@alionera-blog@jennithejester@dezedrol@thisisew@saladalpaca@applepiewithbacon@httpbiohazard@aurasyn@nerdoodles@kingpinthedevil@itzkawaiix@domainoflostsouls@silverskylan@uminootome@helpidkwhatimdoingwrong@deadlyinfernos@blackbirdswhispers@sarahskywalker-amadala@writingmysanity@f3v3rs@jayjones03@quietlyebbie@optimisticprime3@eyes-for-daze@sunnytalia3@megoshh@maddiedott@cappsikle@mostbeautifulnightmare@lynnlovesloki@simpytheshrimpy69@astarion-archive@smaranshakthi@autistic-deer@shadowfeart@freckled-petals@candied-lavender@hp-art-studio@ghouligan@satelliteapotheosis@waywardwitch-hel@pandimoostuff@mythoughtsofinsanity@ilovelovelylove@oneandonlyizabelle

TAGLIST NOW CLOSED!

[dhampling]

the shepherd, the black sheep gn!reader, 2k

“Oh, come on now. It’s ok. They’ll come back, or they won’t.’ He sidles over and sits next to you. A toothy grin.  ‘It could be worse. We could be here without each other.” - a plummet into a chasm leaves you and your light-fingered friend stuck. together, you wonder if you'll ever emerge again.

word count: 2,054

as always, a big thank you to the nonnie who sent me the prompt: 'Tav/Reader & Astarion get trapped together somewhere during a mission and have to deal with the isolation and anxiety of waiting to be rescued by their other companions' - i hope i did it justice <3

-

He rolls his thumb and forefinger as he casts an absent glare into your makeshift fire. Sniffs. Whets his lips.

“Do you think they’ll come back?” He asks into the open space. 

You’re on the other side of the cavern, triple checking for access points you may have missed on your prior patrols.

It’s been a fraught few days but with the rescue of Halsin came much-needed information. A path to the heart of the Absolute. Finally your journey had a destination, and you’d started to gather momentum in knowing you had a set route to travel.

If Astarion’s revelation had only come a little later there’s no doubt your friends would be clamouring to save you both now.

He knows the camp is wary of him, even more so than before. You made clear in no uncertain terms that anyone unhappy with his vampiric presence was welcome to leave the party as soon as they pleased. He heard the rumbles, the whispers. The staunch distaste for your decision and the following questions on your capacity to make them.

The threat of a power vacuum seems only amplified by your current situation.

Lost in a deep cavern following a fall from a hefty chunk of loose rock, just the two of you. The shepherd, the black sheep. Your companions promising to return but with little by way of a plan to do so. 

It was only your decision to cast Feather Fall prior to crossing that you both survived the plummet.

He is simultaneously overwhelmed with gratitude, and furious beyond measure. 

Overwhelmed to the point of nausea. Deep, horrid nausea that seeps into his bones every time he’s conscious of it. A pounding headache, a splitting skull, a million times ‘why’; the way you reach for his hand in the darkest nights and it feels like a balm. Your neck on a platter. You listen to him and it feels as if the gods finally heard his call.

Incensed - pitifully - because he wishes with hindsight that he’d found a means to stop you casting the spell. He’d finally be dead, somewhere Cazador would never find him; and whatever tale the sordid scars on his back told would rot with him. He’d be left in peace in this cool, damp darkness and nothing would be able to mutilate any part of him again, minus the rats that’d very likely feast on his corpse.

How very funny. It almost seemed a shame to deprive himself of experiencing that one while still having a brain. The irony.

There’s peace here, in the drip-drops and the echoes. An ambience of sorts. A spacious tomb for his undead soul to frolic and haunt for all eternity. Maybe he’d set up his tent so he’d have somewhere for his ethereal spirit to lounge, put the bottles and bedrolls out. He did fall with his pack, after all. 

But you’d be dead, too.

He’d suffer the fall twice. Break his own neck, garrotte himself in unholy witness of whichever reaper came for you. Slam onto the floor of the cavern, repeatedly; until whatever remained of his mangled brain could be assured of your own safety and he could finally fucking die.

Having something to die for.

Now that’s a novel concept.

You amble your way back over to him, rubbing your forearm as you search the darkness mindlessly.

“Don’t know. They’re under no obligation to, I suppose.”

“Easy way to do away with us.” Astarion ponders.

“You might just be right.”

You sink to the floor, wrapping your arms around now-crossed legs and exhaling softly.

“Oh, come on now. It’s ok. They’ll come back, or they won’t.’

He sidles over and sits next to you. A toothy grin. 

‘It could be worse. We could be here without each other.”

When he says this, he expects you to flail your arms and chide him for his ill-timed attempt at humour. Tell him that you’d rather be here with anyone else in camp, that you hate the fact you’re so uncertain as to whether they’re coming back for you. Freak out in the way mortals often do. Reveal all those horrid little doubts over your staunch protection of him that he fears are stewing under the skin.

Instead, you meet his eyes and freely give a small smile. 

“Right again. Making a habit of this.”

“I’ll be careful darling. I wouldn’t want to set expectations now, would I?”

He can tell you’re uneasy, but he doesn’t seem to be the cause. Not remotely. If your body is anything to go by then he’s a solace here for you. 

For some reason, that suspicion makes him feel warmer. 

You look over the packs. You’re unsure how long you’ll be down here, or whether you should be preparing for the worst case scenario where food is concerned; but hunger pangs are worming their way through you already and you’re cursing the single coffee you had back at camp.

You’d like to think your new friends wouldn’t leave you here. Obviously far too optimistic a perspective for someone with a mind flayer parasite currently lodged in their head, but without hope you wager you’d very quickly become completely despondent.

In your mind, either possibility is a very real one. 

Astarion tilts his head to the side to make room for your own atop his shoulder.

The gesture surprises you in its intimacy. Not that you’ve noticed in any way aside from the purely observational, but his desire for physical contact seems relegated to that which is utterly necessary and nothing more.

The nights he has touched you have felt so.

This doesn’t feel necessary.

But it’s welcome, nonetheless.

“What can I do, my sweet? How can we make - this - easier.” He poses with a hint of a playful tone.

“I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you are, Astarion.”

He shakes his head and smiles with mirth.

“No, no. Not unless that was a proposition on your part?”

He turns and looks down at you softly.

“Maybe later. I’m just cold.” You speak with little conviction.

No emotion, just absence. He wonders if you’re actually considering letting him warm you through. A service he finds himself surprisingly willing to offer, wanting to even; his brain struggling to consider it a service when he’d derive such genuine pleasure from burying his icy fingers deep into the valleys of your warm flesh, head reverently planting kisses on your heated belly; holding your blazing torso against his. Tarse twitches. 

Astarion hums.

“I could try to make you something, if you like?”

You scoff, a slight smile returning to your cheeks.

“Thank you, but I’ll decline. Tell me when the last time you cooked was again?”

He errs a little, wobbling his head and gesticulating softly.

“Details, darling, details.”

You both sit in silence for a few moments, undoubtedly thinking the same things. Mulling over the choices that led you here. There’s a fondness, though. A lack of regret. What will be, will be. 

“Was there wine in your pack?” You break the silence. 

His head perks up.

“Fancy a lock-in?” He grins cattishly. 

For the first time since your fall, you smile completely uninhibited.

“Gods, I think so. Not much else to be done, is there?”

-

It’s cosy. 

Inside Astarion’s tent are both bedrolls, plus whatever cushions and blankets you could find within your bags of holding; and copious bottles of wine plucked unceremoniously from the stockpile before heading out.

“I didn’t know if they’d take it as an opportunity to mutiny. Cast me aside, leave me to die. I had to take some of the good stuff with me just in case.” He grins.

“I can’t believe I’m so glad to find out you’ve been stealing from the group’s resources.” You lean back, enjoying the warmth of the fire on your icy flesh.

He scoffs.

“What?! It’s hardly an ongoing pursuit.’

He sips. Lowers his voice.

‘I don’t particularly want to give them more of a reason to stake me.” 

Hearing his resigned tone makes your heart ache a little.

“They’d have to stake me too. I’d move too fast for that, obviously.” You mimic quick gestures with your hands, monk-style. He splutters on his wine. 

“What on earth was that?”

“A demonstration of my battle prowess?”

You chop again with your hands, moving quicker as he folds with laughter.

“The focus in your eyes, darling. It’s remarkable.” He breathes heavily.

“Obviously? I’m ensuring they can’t stake either of us?” 

You commit to the bit, chopping in the space all around you until your companion has tears in his eyes and is gasping for unnecessary breath.

“Thank gods I have a hero like you to protect me, hm? My knight in shining armour.” He practically purrs, wiping the tears and resting on his elbow.

“Just be thankful you’re not the one who has to fight against these hands.” You shake your head and dust them off with exaggerated finesse. 

“I’d feel sorry for the poor bastard who does.”

He likes how absolutely ridiculous you are at this moment. It’s sobering. Two hundred years and he hasn’t seen someone with quite the ability to create a levity like you just brought to the situation.

Your devotion - though used in jest - doesn’t pass him by unnoticed, either.

A beat of silence.

You pour another big goblet of wine and stare into the abyss.

“What if we are just stuck down here?”

He ruminates, running his tongue over his teeth.

“Then we have three options.’

He looks at you.

‘One. We find a way to climb that crag right to the very top.’

You both look up to where he points. Above you, minus some jutting rock, is a chasm as wide as the sky.

‘Two. We repopulate down here somehow and create our very own race of awfully mutilated creatures to fool the gang into thinking it’s someone else they lost down here. We can’t replicate Gale exactly, obviously, but I think they’ll begin to look similar after a couple generations of natural inbreeding.’

You pull a face and shiver. He shrugs.

“Three. We get cosy, and go out happy. There’s nothing we can do from here.”

Astarion lifts his chalice in a moribund toast, gesturing for yours to meet him in the air.

“I’m grateful you’re here.” Your cup clinks against his.

A moment’s silence. 

“I’m grateful it’s you.”

He looks at you once more. 

He could’ve been down here with anyone. Most of them would have staked him immediately. Said the Feather Fall had worn off, that nothing could be done. He’d have been left here, dead, with nobody to remember the only weeks of freedom belonging to him in the last two hundred years of his miserable existence.

But there’s you. There’s always you.

He wonders how you would react. Whether you’d shrug and remain stoic, returning back to the wants of the masses, just another fallen body. Throw some nightshade into the abyss in memory and move on.

Of course you wouldn’t.

“I don’t regret it, you know.” You speak as you sip, still looking up into the cavern’s sky.

“I- Thank you.’

You sit in silence for a few minutes, the drip-drops of the cavern a calm backdrop.

‘Between friends - you’re a little in love with me, aren’t you?”

You swallow a gulp of wine and wobble your head. Gesture lazily into the air around you.

“Not yet, no.”

He moves to object, but is caught mid-breath. 

“We’re doomed anyway. What if I said it? Those three little words?”

You laugh and sip again.

“What the hells. I’d say it back. Hope we live long enough to see it play out.”

Astarion looks at you fondly. There’s a genuine reverence in his eyes, soft and considered; and for the first time you see no barriers. If there’s a future in which the two of you don’t starve to death then he sees you there aside him.

“I love you.”

You bring his palm to your cheek and hold it there for a moment, closing your eyes and nuzzling against it.

“I love you, too.”

He swills the last of his current chalice in his mouth and swallows, bringing your hand to his lips and kissing it reverently.

“Now we drink, and we wait.”

-

[actuallyevilgay]

Astarion walks in on Tav, checking himself out.. Shenanigans?

Minors DNI.

Some mild male nudity, fluff, comfort.

Ah, the elfsong inn. Finally, a place of privacy and.. Dividers? The camp room left a lot to be desired. Bunking out like this and still being able to hear your companions snore? The average adventurer calls that a dream. Bonding through nightly noise complaints.

Astarion had seen Tav naked before, having managed to wringle himself into his pants. During the many adventures they've shared thus far, Astarion had come forward with his own insecurities.. Towards intimacy.

To his suprise, Tav didn't seem all too bothered, in fact, he was comforted by being told the truth. Tav never initiated anything afterwards.. The situation was awkward at times. One sight at this couple and people would just call them room mates.

He wanted to kiss him so badly. It made him pace around during the night. Astarion cursed under his breath when Gale's snoring kept him from entering his trance. He was starting to feel pent up. No.. This won't do. He has to talk to Tav.

Turning his heel, he walked off to were Tav was resting. Tav's bed was surrounded by several dividers.. That's new.

Pacing.. pacing.. The vampire finally decides to peek around the dividers and sees Tav looking at himself in the mirror. He appears to be looking at a scar on his back in particular. There's a nervous expression pressing on his face.

Not noticing the pale elf due to his lack of reflection, Tav turns a bit and lifts his skin to check out another scar. "Is this ever going to heal..?" He mumbles.

"They're not that bad." Astarion interrupts the man, making him nearly jump through the roof, but instead, Tav falls against one of his dividers. It falls over, making a soft papery thud sound.

"Shit.." Tav whimpers, pulling his blanket from the bed to cover himself up. "Since when are you prude?" Astarion grins, moving over to put the divider back were it was.

Tav plops down on his bed. "It's been a while, and.. How long have you been staring?"

A suspicious look befalls Tav's face, making Astarion flinch. "Only a minute, I wanted to talk to you."

"I thought you'd trance around this hour."

"Is that why you're up right now..? Hmm.. Suspicious."

Silence.

"Did.. I do something wrong?" Astarion eventually breaks the ice.

"I.. No. I've been wondering if I did something wrong myself, but I didn't want you to be uncomfortable."

"..Right."

"Do you.. want to stay the night?" Nervously, with a small smile, Tav presses his index fingers together while he speaks. "I mean- Just.. to cuddle. I'll put my shirt back on-"

Before Tav can finish that sentence, Astarion slips into the other's bed, pressing himself against his chest. "I forgot how warm you were." He whispers.

Tav frowns. "Oh. I'll try to be a bit more memorable.."

"And here I thought I was the insecure one.. By the gods. We are a mess." The elf presses his face against Tav's sternum. "Keep your shirt off." He then gently caresses Tav's side, taking in his warmth. "Did your heart rate just spike..? Love.."

"I want to kiss you."

Astarion holds his breath. "I thought you'd never ask."

[istoleyoursk1n]

Hello, I saw your requests are open after I read some of your stuff and wanted to give an idea. One thing I don’t see too often in fantasy is anti-magic types so I’d like to request a Tav that is magically blank. What I mean by that is where everyone else either has magic or is effected by it, Tav can be neither of these. Try to hit them with a lightning bolt? Doesn’t work. Illusions? Doesn’t work. Enchantments? Nah. This makes them a terrifying mage hunter that can go toe to toe with many magic creatures and users. Of course they need to work around not being healed by magic as well. (Choose whoever for the characters!)

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would the boys react to a Tav who’s incapable of being harmed by or creating magic?

(If any of you won't see one for the girls, just ask <3)

.

.

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“I know I’ve already got the delightfully excellent privilege of looks to me, darling, but damn it all! You’d think those lazing Gods would grant me more than just a dashing face to get me through my troubles too!”

Immediately comes asking how the hell you gained such an ability and if so, how could he get some of that for himself.

He's envious of the fact that nearly all magic seems to have little to zero effects on you. He's far too consumed by the amount of advantages it gives you that he doesn't exactly see the downsides.

I mean, he’s seen you take a fireball to your face and shake it off as if it was nothing. However, the sight of you bleeding out as every magical healing potion and spell does absolutely nothing to aid you ends up being the very thing that makes him wonder if it would be worth it.

But hey! It's rather entertaining for him to watch every foe you encounter gasp in shock when they realize all the magic spells they throw at you do nothing to hinder your each attack.

The funniest thing he saw was someone trying to manipulate you with a charm spell only for you to humiliate them for their obvious attempt.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“By the hells, you’re immune to magic? That’s one darn good of an advantage to have, especially on a journey such as ours. Though, it's a shame that you’ll never get to see the delights that come with it, you would have loved it, I’m sure!”

He wasn't all too bothered by the fact you couldn't create magic. Some people lived all their lives without using them and they still made fine warriors, why should he judge you?

However, he was completely shocked when he first watched a lightning bolt strike your body only for you to shrug it off. You didn't even have the burn marks that would have came from it.

After figuring out your little situation, he was both deeply fascinated and impressed. There's no way anything is stopping either of you now, not when you are immune to nearly all types of magic.

Be prepared because this man does start to give you ridiculous titles over your unique ability. “The anti-magician”, “The impenetrable magic consumer”, it gets worse and worse but it's making you both laugh.

Yet, what he does find quite concerning is the number of times he's witnessed your other companions use you as a personal test dummy in terms of magic-based attacks. He’s always quick to grab you out of those situations even though you were mostly okay with it.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“Immune to magic? Truly? Are you telling me a particularly powerful sorcerer could cast a tremendously potent necrotic spell on you and you’d just... Stand there… with not so much as a bruise? Are you certain you’re from this plane of existence-”

What in the fuck <— His initial reaction lmao

He’s never even seen anything that could resist most if not all magic, even worse that you can't even seem to make it yourslf.

He’s spent the majority of his life so heavily involved with magic and the weave that he could hardly see himself without it, better yet, he doesn't even understand how you live so mundanely.

Heck! Even lower-class citizens could learn magic if not already know how to cast a basic spell or two. Now he has a hundred different questions running through his head and you could probably only answer half of them.

Perhaps he even suspected that you may have just used a multitude of potions of resistance on yourself to turn out this way but if so, the effects should have worn off by now.

Either way, he’s bewildered by you. Intensely interested in how this situation of yours came to be and if there is truly a limit to what magic you can resist. Though, trust that he won't try to experiment on you for himself.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“Ah, though I understand the loss of seizing the art of magic for oneself is rather unfortunate, this only means that perhaps a far more naturalistic path awaits you. One I hope brings nothing but joy and aid in our journey ahead.”

Pleasantly surprised but also curious about it all. When you say all magic do you truly mean all? And if he were to bring a magical flame near your skin, would you feel it's warmth?

Though, he doesn't press on the matter too much. However, there are occasions when he has forgotten about your immunity and ends up shielding you from a magical blast you could have easily taken yourself.

Reflexes perhaps. He’s fairly used to jumping in to protect those he cares for and he does get a tad bit embarrassed over the fact that your magic immunity slipped his mind once or twice due to his own impulses.

Though worry not if magical healing spells or potions don't work on you! He knows plenty of natural ways to heal your wounds. Though it will take significantly longer.

Regardless, he's happy to be of service to you, even teaching you some ways to use herbs and the fauna around you to make a quick remedy to all sorts of wounds so you won't have to ever struggle as much as you did before.

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

[messiahzzz]

Hello! I love your meta-analysis of BG3 and share many of the same opinions concerning our boy, Gale. I have an interesting question for you concerning the orbs "volatility" in relation to intimacy (both physical and non-physical). I used to believe it was cannon that Gale couldn't engage in physical intimacy because the Orb may detonate, but when I played as Gale I was able to sleep with Astarion. This is in contrast to when I played as Karlach and couldn't touch anyone.

So, all of this is to ask whether Gale's dialogue at the tiefling party was him protecting himself emotionally or if he truly thought that any excitement would trigger the Orb (ironic given they are fighting for their lives daily)? Additionally is this why the Weave scene only features an imagined kiss rather than a physical one?

thank you so much for the questions!! i’m very glad you enjoy reading my posts 💕

gale: with my condition being as volatile as it is, i fear any undue, er, excitement, may tip it over the edge. so to speak.

i do believe that gale was being honest in regards to avoiding physical/emotional excitement concerning the orb. his first and foremost priority is to make sure to avoid as many potential triggers as possible, being fully aware of the catastrophe that will occur if he doesn’t keep an eye on his condition at all times. fighting is inevitable given the situation the group found themselves in. on top of that, every single day for the past year alone has quite literally been a life or death situation for him, wondering how much longer he can hold on until the orb inevitably takes over. i also think that he has experienced his fair share of horrors and tough fights in his past, considering his status as an archmage, as well as him being mystra’s chosen. even with his now diminished powers & the tadpole in his head he still remains in his element. magic is his life, it comes as easy to him as breathing.

gale: i'm what one might call a wizard prodigy, who from an early age could not only control the weave, but compose it, much like a musician or a poet.

more importantly, the devnotes also proof that the orb is indeed the reason for his deflection during the tiefling party:

gale: i see. then perhaps we see each other in the same light after all. a resplendent one, flush with warmth and anticipation, but one which i must shy away from, for now. node context: still flustered, but pleased to learn you like him romantically. then getting to the point - he can't do anything until the orb is dealt with.

if tav directly tells him to cease the perceived flirting, he will reveal that he considered their relationship to be a "budding romance" at this stage.

player: if this is an attempt at flirting, you should stop. i'm not interested. gale: right. understood. you shall hear no more on the subject from me. gale: consider this budding romance thoroughly nipped. though i hope our friendship need not come to such an abrupt end.

yet at the same time, he is also completely flustered if tav is the one who initiates the flirting:

player: do you like having your belly rubbed? gale: the pleasures i experienced in mystra's embrace go far beyond the pleasures of having one's tummy tickled. i remember once, she took the smallest piece of the weave and made it into- gale: wait. are you saying... nodecontext: taking the question seriously, missing the flirtatious side of it. nodecontext: realizing that the player was flirting, getting flustered

regardless of which flirt option tav chooses to pick, the outcome remains the same:

gale: you know what, i think i've clearly had far too much wine. and you've had nowhere near enough. i think this is a conversation best held back on - for now. nodecontext: flustered, hesitating to explicitly say what he thinks you were offering, then backtracking altogether

while battle naturally is always accompanied by the unpredictable, (as well as the dread of facing a yet unknown enemy) i don’t think he experiences quite the same amount of trepidation as where matters of the heart are concerned. or perhaps it would be more accurate to say it’s an altogether different kind.

the budding relationship with tav is once again unfamiliar territory for him after all those years he went without mortal intimacy, years that have been spent with mystra instead. it’s understandable that he exercises caution at all times, knowing what’s at stake if he lets go for but merely a moment. i also believe gale to be a character who generally goes “all out” once he chooses to be intimate with someone. we know that he doesn’t do casual trysts, friends-with-benefits arrangements, or anything of the sort. instead he wants to build a deep connection first. gale is a romantic through and through, he only feels comfortable being intimate once it has been explicitly established that the emotions he feels for tav are indeed wholly reciprocated. gale puts his whole heart into everything he does, he would’ve felt that it was a disservice to tav if he was only able to give them (according to him) even less than the remaining fragments of a broken man he has to offer — once he decides to give himself, he gives himself fully.

another added factor, however, is that the tiefling party simply wasn’t the right time for him yet, even if he already felt some attraction to them. part of him perhaps would’ve liked to go a bit further, be more direct about his growing fondness for them. spending a night together, just enjoying each other's company, talking until the sun rises, perhaps even sharing their first kiss if he felt that the timing was right — but i don’t think he would’ve considered this to be the appropriate stage in their relationship to sleep with tav either way. orb or no.

gale also tells us this much during the Last Night Alive scene, as well as during the conversation after you just met tara. in an ideal situation he would’ve taken his time, courted tav properly, said it all better.

gale: if things were different, if we were home, i'd have taken the time to do things properly. to say it all better. but time is short.

gale: i always imagined what it would be like when you finally got to meet her. this wasn't quite what i had pictured. gale: i thought we'd be in waterdeep. you, curled up before a crackling hearth while i prepared us a ridiculously extravagant meal, served with a batch of my homemade hundur sauce.

time is short.

i always headcanoned gale to be on the demi spectrum. that he needs to build a close bond before sexual intimacy is something that even remotely occurs to him. tav is an anomaly in this regard — he knows he deeply cares for them, emotions that developed even in the short, few months they've known each other, and that he doesn’t have the luxury of time to let their relationship unfold in all the many ways he dreamed of. all he knows is that he loves tav, wholly and truly. and that, by the gods, he has to make the most out of the few extra heartbeats he’s been given. even if his death is inevitable, he will at least be able to show them the depths of his affection. leave them with shared memories of pure tenderness, a knowledge of a love so profound that it might perhaps even prevail way beyond his passing.

player: what about all we shared together? are you just going to give up? gale: this isn't giving up it's securing victory, at a price i am willing to pay. and everything we shared can live on - with you.

i wouldn’t necessarily say that gale was trying to “protect himself emotionally” during the tiefling party, but rather acted accordingly to the horrifying circumstances the tadpole gang (and especially he himself) find themselves in. i don’t think gale ever really considers a romanced!tav as someone he needs to be guarded around. evident in the way he immediately throws all doors open without any sign of hesitation once he has their assurance that their love is indeed mutual. gale pours his heart out to them regardless, not knowing whether his feelings are truly returned. he is not a character who shies away from being vulnerable by any means. he is an open book, that tav is free to peruse in as they see fit. a slither of trust is all he needs.

during the weave scene the connection abruptly fades once tav either imagines passionately kissing him or holding his hand during a romantic walk. a scene that again shows that he is genuinely stunned by what he’s being shown. after all, it doesn't happen often that gale of waterdeep is at a loss for words.

gale: i... i didn't think... narrator: *you perceive quick-fire gusts of embarrassment, trepidation, and finally... elation.* gale: sorry, i wasn't expecting... but it is a pleasant image to be sure! gale: most pleasant, in fact. most welcome. nodecontext: warm, with real affection

i do believe the weave scene in particular to be a turning point for him. sort of an epiphany. the first moment in which he realizes that he actually might like the idea of eventually being with tav as perhaps more than a friend. that he is filled with fondness whenever they’re near and that he is excited to see where their joined travels lead them next.

player: when i said we could be more than friends, you answered 'perhaps'. what does that really mean? gale: if i recall correctly, the waterdhavian dictionary of the common tongue of faerun defines it as an adverb that conveys the meaning of 'it may be that', or 'possibly'. gale: you see, i'm not a big believer in fate, but i do believe in serendipity. gale: life is a tempest of events that sometimes we brace against and sometimes embrace. gale: you're one such event that, one day soon perhaps, i'd like to embrace.

given my personal hc of gale being demisexual, i genuinely don’t believe that he entertained the thought before that. he was way too preoccupied with other more pressing concerns. his overall condition, the tadpole, mourning the loss of his powers, still dealing with a lingering sense of loneliness and melancholy. a yearning for better times, as well as disillusionment of being cast out and left behind, even if he has already worked through his romantic feelings for mystra and their unilaterally ended relationship by then.

gale: i'm hardly pining. it's been a year or more since mystra cast me aside.

tav’s advances genuinely catch him off guard, which is, according to my interpretation, also the reason why their shared connection abruptly faded. a general loss of focus. gale immediately bidding tav goodnight to reflect on the situation and sort through his thoughts again shows that this wasn’t how he expected this moment of teaching to unfold. it seems rather uncharacteristic of him to initiate a kiss in this specific scenario. tav was testing the waters, whether it happened intentionally or not, and gale found himself pleasantly surprised by the turn of events.

i also believe that we generally shouldn’t use origin playthroughs as a cross-reference for the actual canon. larian approached each story with more or less detail and there are already so many inconsistencies present that have been pointed out by other players. instead we should see origin pts as an oc kind of scenario — larian handing us the reigns of each origin character, a way for us to have fun and figure out all the atrocities we could possibly come up with. sort of like playing with our own set of barbies. (“go nuts, show nuts” as tunglr staff put it back in the day) for example, playing as w*ll doesn’t lock you out of raiding the grove and spending a steamy night with m*nth*ra right after either. which is something that contradicts everything he stands for/something he wouldn't naturally do. even if you try to play an origin character as close to their canon portrayal as possible, you will still encounter several contradictions and discrepancies during the duration of your game. larian sadly also has a chronic pattern of overlooking gale in terms of content, fixes, and overall responsiveness. so it’s easy to conclude that his origin story simply hasn’t been fleshed out to the same extent & treated with the same amount of care and consideration that certain other characters received. (which is awfully ironic considering he’s been proven to be the most popular origin character, but i digress)

basically, this has been my very long-winded way of saying: the reason why gale refuses to be intimate with tav pre-orb stabilization is indeed because he is afraid of the orb accidentally detonating during a moment of carelessness and/or indulgence, as well as because of gale’s own preferences when sex & romance are concerned.

[magua-vida]

SLAY THE QUEEN THORN

I was inspired by Abby's sketch of a hypothetical Queen version of the Princess, so I tried my hand at it with a few vessels, including this one. I... ended up drawing something akin to a fashion design concept art rather than a practical design that won't be tiring to draw over and over after a handful of sprites later. I also had to use a bit more artistic license growing unnatural poppies on the dress and the thick twirly prickly noodles.

some explanations behind the process

For the "mended" Thorn, I pretty much just removed the foreground thorns and added the dirt.

rambling/fangirling/screenshots below:

The Thorn is one of my favorites. If I had to choose only five vessels to offer to Shifty and there's no replayable feature, she'll definitely be one of them. I'm one of those suckers who's into Hurt/Comfort stories. Almost like a masochist for those fics, you could say. If the climax to an Action-heavy story is the defeat of one party, then the catharsis of Hurt/Comfort is when the two characters... well, comfort each other- either due to hurt from each other or someone else. In The Thorn's case, she started off rather innocently, Damsel-like, but not quite. She still had caution. It was until she was literally stabbed in the back that she learned that it was a mistake. And when Long Quiet offered sincere regret and admission of fault, she stabbed him... but she didn't feel the relief she thought she'd get from it. I think many relate to having been betrayed and/or betraying someone they trusted, and the scratches are felt by many players.

The thorns curve inward, as if it's more painful to leave her than it is to approach her.

Poppies grow around along the bramble. Many mistook them for roses because they're red and there are brambles (tbh, I actually dunno if they're brambles or briars, I looked them up and I got confused, forgive me, plant enthusiasts ;.;) that grow around the patches of those poppies. Death and romance~

This brings back to Chapter 1 where Hero was kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely crushing on the Princess and wants to give her the benefit of the doubt, not only because of feelings, but for a reasonable cause of wanting to rescue someone who possibly may actually be a victim of circumstance.

Look, I have reasons why Thorn route is one of my favorites and it definitely doesn't have anything to do with both characters having massive trust issues and the capability to change themselves for better or worse and the emotional moments hitting me like a lovely diamond-dusted dagger. Both of them are rather cat-like with pointy ears too.

I appreciate that you're still given the options to leave or stab Thorn, as if the situation isn't pitiable enough. Even her tiara looks like a crown of thorns. It's as if she views the thorns as both a form of penance and a defence mechanism to protect herself from being hurt again, even though she's hurt by her own making this time.

I chose for the Long Quiet to save her and leave the cabin together.

This part stabbed me the most. Even when shown genuine help, she shrinks back.

This part burns a bit of the jadedness away. Trust is a scary thing, so is love. How can you be so sure that you won't be hurt by the one you love again? But just like what The Prisoner says, it's about trust- blind trust. Thorn looks more human than her previous self- less animalistic, softer. A part of The Damsel returns, even in the music.

I recall weighing on whether I prefer the version with the Voice of the Cheated or Voice of the Smitten. I vaguely remember wondering if there was an option to ask her if it's okay to kiss her. I guess the ideal would be is to have that choice, but I suppose the climactic moment calls for it and she doesn't mind it, at least. It's like the option to hug Astarion from BG3, but you're not sure whether he'd be comfy with it after being hurt so much. He gave approval for it too~

As much as Thorn is one of my favorites, I'm not attracted to her and any of the vessels. Instead, I ship her with the Long Quiet- the character himself. I don't really see myself AS the Long Quiet, more like choosing what actions on what he does and I separate myself from him a lot for many reasons. It's a bit like the Harry situation from Disco Elysium in terms of seemingly blank-slate protagonists.

Instead, I kinda put myself into her situation to feel how she felt in this route. The poppies not only felt symbolic of her nature as part of the Shifting Mound, but also specifically the end of the mutual treachery you've inflicted on each other, potentially beginning anew on a path of healing.

==============ramble-bramble over===================

[thebigbiwolf]

Mine, if Only for the Night

Summary:

Based on a prompt given to me by a wonderful anon: Astarion/reader fic where he finds out she's never had a lover 'finish the job' so she doesn't see what all the fuss is about, and he decides to use his skills to ruin her for anyone else and show her what she's been missing out on?

Fic Tags: Porn with feelings, Multiple Orgasms, Overstim, Astarion POV, LOTS of Pining, Vaginal sex of all kinds (jesus), and Reader's First Orgasm lol

Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), language

Word Count: 5.1k~

Read on AO3: Here

A/N: I loved this prompt. No notes. This is also maybe a bit of a fix-it fic where Astarion does not dissociate during your first time in the woods because my baby deserves to have a good time.

Thank you Lari @imaginarydromedary for being the best beta ever.

-

Astarion leans his shoulder against a tree, surveying the clearing. 

While the surroundings were still a tad rugged for his tastes, he’d taken it upon himself to arrange a few furs and pillows here and there until it felt acceptably comfortable. 

He peels off his nightshirt, discarding it into the plush grass as he works his jaw, wondering where you might be. 

You should have arrived by now. More than an hour had passed since the distant, jovial music and chatter had faded into nothing, and the tieflings have long since said their goodbyes. The night envelopes him in silence, broken only by the distant murmur of a nearby stream and the usual cricket song.

He’s starting to wonder if perhaps he had misread this entire situation. Maybe he pushed too far - made some sort of error in his assessment of you. 

Or maybe you didn't desire him at all. 

The idea gnaws at him - unsettles him more than he’d ever care to admit.

An uncomfortable weight in his chest. 

He brushes the feeling aside, scoffing to himself.

As if you or anyone else would deny themselves a chance to indulge in his body, especially when offered an immediate out. No unnecessary promises. Not even a cuddle.

As if.

And yet, he can’t seem to shake this uncomfortable doubt.

Step by step, he paces, turning your interaction with him at the party over in his head until he’s exhausted every word - until the grass flattens beneath the soles of his feet. 

How the topic of your disappointing sexual history came up could perhaps be attributed to your shared bottle of wine. He’d nearly choked on the damned drink when you explained to him, in detail, about every encounter, every night you spent satisfying a man’s ego rather than having your needs met, and how you no longer believed there was any real point to sex.

He could hardly believe his beautifully pointed ears.

And while he would normally revel in the opportunity to embarrass someone over being the tragic victim of terrible sex, your case is… different.

You are different.

You stood by his side, even through the disastrous revelation of his condition. More than that, you allowed him to drink from you - a favor he won’t soon forget. 

Part of you even enjoyed it. 

He felt it the moment he put his mouth on you, the very second his fangs breached the delicate skin of your neck. He felt it all: the subtle hitch in your breath, your little twitches of excitement. 

And yet, you asked nothing more of him. 

So, what is a friend to do?

It took some insistence - a bit of reassurance that no , offering to bed you properly was not brought about by a sick sense of obligation, nor was it a way to repay you for your kind deeds - but honestly, for the life of him, he doesn’t understand why this feels so damn important - why there's this incessant urge to bring you the release he knows you so desperately need. 

Perhaps it's the promise of a challenge - one that pokes at his male pride like a petulant child. It goads him, raising an egotistical brow his way, the knowledge that unlike all the other men you’ve wasted your time with, Astarion could get you off with ease.

He’d pull out all the stops, use every trick in his little black book to reduce you to a quivering, obedient mess. He’d take his time with you - have you wet and pliant, begging beneath his fingers before giving you everything those pretty little lips could ever ask for. 

He would ruin you, if you’d allow it.

All you had to do was give him one night. No strings attached.

And yet, here you are, keeping him waiting.

Five, then ten, then 20 minutes pass, and only when he’s about to pack his things - when his growing impatience threatens to twist into a feeling dangerously close to disappointment - does he hear movement behind him.

The rustle of leaves, a snapping twig. 

Astarion turns to find you grappling with a particularly thorny bush - your hair a mess, adorned with small sticks. With a frustrated huff, you kick at the plant, muttering under your breath.

You haven’t noticed him yet, too busy fighting to free your foot - and it suddenly occurs to him that your inferior human eyes had to navigate these woods in the dark. 

That little detail must have evaded him when he made his proposition, but realizing it now, knowing that you weren't simply wasting the night away, wrestling with the decision of whether to leave him waiting and wanting… sets him at ease.

“You should have been a druid.” he teases.

You freeze, head perking up and swiveling towards the sound of his voice.

“I don’t see why the lot of them insist on camping out in the wilderness,” you huff,  “There’s a perfectly fine grove less than a mile from here.” 

You finish prying your boot out from the thicket, nearly toppling over in the process. He almost considers helping you, but watching you struggle like a newborn dear is just too amusing to pass up. He’ll make it up to you soon enough.

Making your way toward the clearing, your eyes gradually adjust to the moonlight. They find his gaze, then wander over the pale expanse of his chest, before quickly darting away to focus on the ensemble of blankets.

“Oh. This is… nice.” You remark, gesturing towards the furs, and at first, Astarion assumes you’re mocking him - turning a nose up at his thoughtful efforts.

But when he turns toward you, preparing to make a less-than-savory comment about gratitude, he is instead met with a genuinely surprised, and somewhat irritating, smile.

Just what sort of lovers have you settled for, thinking that this constitutes ‘nice’?

“And you thought I was going to, what,” he scoffs, “Drag you into the cold woods and have my way with you against a tree?” 

Your face flames at the suggestion, burning bright red at his boldness, but you don’t deny it. 

In fact, his keen ears pick up on the subtle flutter of your heartbeat as soon as the words leave his lips.

That’s all the confirmation he needs. 

“Ah,” he purrs, “I see.”

With that, Astarion closes the distance between you, toned arms sliding beneath the firmness of your thighs to lift you with ease. A surprised squeak leaves your mouth as your ankles instinctively lock around his waist.

He takes a few steps forward until the dull edges of bark press into your shoulders.

“Is this what you want?” He punctuates his words with the firm press of his clothed cock against your core, already hardening with interest. It’s almost maddening - how responsive you are, already squirming in his arms when he’s hardly touched you.

His grip tightens on your rear, nails digging into your soft skin.

“Answer me, dear,” he growls, “I want to hear you say it.”

It’s a lie, of sorts. He doesn’t want to hear it - he needs to. Needs you to beg for him, as ridiculous as it feels. 

He’s had more lovers than he could count, heard their sweet cries like a symphony of praise, but they fell on deaf, pointed ears compared to this - to your ragged breaths.

“ Say it .”

“ Please , Astarion. I want this -”

As soon as the words leave you, his lips are on yours, hungry and demanding. He sets you down, one hand leaving your thighs to grab at your jaw and tilting it just so - steering your face into a more accessible angle, the tip of his nose finding its place against your flushed cheek.

His other hand snakes its way to the back of your head, twining the soft strands of hair between his fingers, tightening them in his fist and pulling .

The sudden sting elicits a whine, stolen from your parted lips, and he takes the opportunity to run his tongue along the seam, dipping into the inviting heat of your mouth. Notes of cheap, flat wine still linger on your tongue, but he quickly finds he doesn’t mind the taste - barely notices it at all when you're opening up for him so eagerly.

He long expected himself to turn off - to hide behind his practiced movements, allowing his body to do the work for him - to wake up sometime after you’d found your pleasure in him.

But here he remains - his script thrown to the wind while your little sounds of approval hang in the air between you, driving him with a hunger that is wholly unfamiliar. 

He wants this, but that realization will come later, when he’s gathering his clothes with the heat of the morning sun at his back, wondering why the idea of leaving you there in the plush grass settles like lead in his stomach. 

It’ll wait for him there, hidden behind layers of denial and fear, then follow like a hound biting at his heels for months on end until he makes peace with it - until he chokes on his own tears in the safety of your arms where you’ll welcome him, along with all of his complications.

But for now, he kisses a line down your shoulder, feeling more alive and present with every swipe of his tongue against your collar bone. You sigh, and he pays special attention to the thin skin there, warm and jumping in time with your pulse.

Astarion's deft fingers skillfully unhook the buttons of your shirt with practiced ease. He tears away the offending fabric, and a low growl burns its way out his throat as the last two buttons pop off, landing somewhere in the dirt beside him. You’ll have something to say about that later, he’s sure.

When the morning comes, he’ll notice you searching for them and offer to sew in new ones - more suitable ones, in whichever color you’d prefer. When he hands the shirt back to you just a few hours later, now embroidered and finer than even before his careless blunder, your impressed smile will awaken a fondness in him that will linger naggingly in the corners of his mind for the foreseeable future. 

He’ll ruminate on that later, when his mouth isn’t descending on your breasts, and his hands aren’t palming at your newly exposed skin.

Falling to his knees, he works at the laces of your trousers. Then, when the troublesome strings are finally undone, his eyes meet yours, holding your gaze as he peels the cloth slowly down the length of your thighs. He takes his time with it, dragging the fabric over your knees and trailing the blunt edge of his nails back up to the curve of your hips, watching intently as the skin prickles beneath his touch.

You wiggle, restless and flushed bright red from your neck to your ears, suddenly avoiding his stare. 

It’s a strange, uncharacteristic shyness—until he puts two and two together when he runs his finger over the white lace of your smalls and finds them positively soaked .

“Is this all for me?” he teases, a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips. 

His thumb presses knowingly into the wet fabric, petting the skin beneath with practiced pressure. 

You don’t answer - you can’t - with your head thrown back and eyes squeezed shut, too busy rocking mindlessly into his touch. 

Well, that certainly won’t do.

A hard slap lands on the inside of your thigh, jolting you to attention. The responding hitch in your breath goes straight to his cock.

“I asked you a question, darling. Is this all for me?”

“I - agh , yes.”

“ Very good,” he purrs, satisfied, “Now, spread these for me.” 

You obey, parting your legs and giving him more space to work with. He tugs at your pants, quickly ridding you of them, then goes back to work kneading lazy, unhurried circles into the thin, sticky, wet fabric. It clings to your skin so perfectly, outlining your form for him as if you were wearing nothing at all.

You're panting above him now - small, rushed breaths suspended in the charged air. The muscles of your thighs twitch with each pass of his thumb over your clit.

And again, you’re not looking at him - head turned to the side and whispering curses quietly to yourself.

Another slap to your thigh, then - the same one, because he’s cruel - now marked with the vivid red imprint of his hand.

“Eyes on me,” he commands.

When your eyes meet his again, they’re hooded and glossy, filled with a familiar haze. 

Lust .

He’s got you now.

Pulling the now thoroughly ruined garment to the side, Astarion rewards you by dragging a finger through your folds, watching your arousal drip down his wrist. It practically drools out of you, coating the rest of his digits, slickening his palm as he presses one into your entrance. 

Your hands instinctively fly to his hair, settling atop the tousled, white strands, and your body takes him in greedily . 

Astarion smiles to himself. 

This feels… good - being so in control, pulling little pleasured sounds from your lips. His pride swells as he adds another finger. You buckle forward, letting out a strangled groan, losing yourself to the feeling of being stretched - being prepped for him and every inch of cock he has to give you, sitting impatiently hard and neglected in his trousers.

He pumps in and out of you, slowly at first, but it only takes a few short moments before your impatient squirming turns into a mindless, needy grind. Each small thrust forward has your body taking him deeper, clenching him tighter until he can feel you throbbing around his fingers.

There’s a level of self indulgence here that he would deny if questioned - perhaps even under oath - but the wholly unnecessary way he pauses to tear the fabric of your smallclothes would quickly betray him. 

Your squeak of surprise is all he hears before the press of your thighs deafens him - and if he was naive enough to believe that your blood was the most enticing thing he’s tasted in the last two centuries, it pales in comparison to the mess you’ve made for him. 

An anguished hum escapes him as he drags his tongue through your folds - so hoarse and strained with disbelief, it almost sounds more animal than man.

He drinks you in, letting up for only as long as it takes to press tender, soothing kisses into your clit, sucking gently at the nub before dipping his tongue back into your hole for seconds, thirds -

This is madness . How someone could pass up this opportunity is far beyond him. Your fist in his hair, surrounded by your pulse as it thrums within the warm, pillowy skin of your thighs, the way you chase your release, rocking into his mouth and coating his chin with your slick, is everything . 

It is everything.

In the cornered haze of his mind, he almost regrets his promises. Had he known it would be like this, that you’d be the first and only memorable partner he’s had in the last two centuries, he may have reconsidered. 

Hells, he should have reconsidered the moment his tongue slipped into your mouth and you had the gall to taste that fucking sweet - to be that damned responsive . 

How is he supposed to play this off as if it changes nothing - as if this means nothing at all?

“Shit, Astarion -”

Pesky details. He’ll have to sort those out later.

“I’m - I think I’m close -” 

Astarion is a smart man - smart enough to know that the best course of action here, when you’re on the precipice of coming apart, is to simply redouble his efforts and continue on as he has been. No special trick up his sleeve, no overly indulgent stylized movements, just sucking as gently and generously as you need. He applies the same steady, circular pressure of his tongue, curls his fingers and fucks you with them in a steady, calculated rythm, until -

The moment you fall apart will be forever burned into his mind. 

He will remember it all: the twitching of your thighs, the tight pinch of your brows, the sound of your cries as your hips stutter in his strong hold. He’ll remember the way he moans, earnestly, as he laps you through it, eager to extend your high for as long as your body allows him. And he will surely remember the thrill that runs up the length of his spine at the sight of you losing yourself at his hand.

But most of all, he will remember the moment immediately after - when your movements slow, and your tight grip loosens from his hair; when your warm hand falls to the side of his face, the soft pads of your fingertips rubbing gentle circles into the shell of his pointed ear. 

You may not have even noticed the small gesture, too blissed out and trembling, but when the two of you look back on this moment years from now, Astarion will laugh at how blind he was - how he should have seen the spark of fondness in your eyes as you fought to catch your breath, the kindling that was twisting in his chest at the sight of your flushed skin, and the fire that would grow there until it nearly consumed him. 

He should have known that this was the start of something greater.

But at this moment, all he knows is the sudden, inexplicable urge to keep you here tonight - to prove himself worthy of coming back, should you ever have an itch that needs scratching. Perhaps tomorrow, or the next night, or any other time you’d see fit. 

Astarion places a final kiss on the junction of your hip, right where the skin is thinnest above the bone, then leans back to fully appreciate his work. 

You are breathless , chest heaving from sheer exertion.

“That was…”

You huff out a laugh as you try to find the right words.

“Perfect?” he raises an eyebrow at you, grin tugging at the corner of his lips, “I know. Like I said, I’m quite good at this.”

He wipes at the clear slick on his chin and shamelessly licks his hand clean, sucking your mess off his fingers with a playful pop.

Your face flushes with embarrassment - the pretty color now matching the puffy, reddened skin of your sex. 

“Do you want more?” he asks, as if his cock isn’t threatening to leak a dark patch into his trousers, “We don’t have to, of course, but -”

“Yes.”

Astarion’s smiles are normally calculated - purposeful, and poised to perfection, but the one that finds its way to his face at your eagerness is as real as the ache beginning to bloom in his knees.

“Come here, then,” he says, dragging his weight back to the blankets. He doesn’t even have the time to readjust the decorative pillows before you’re clamoring on top of him, covering his neck with impatient kisses and helping him remove his clothes. 

“Eager, are we?” he teases, but he’s met with no response. Your mouth is too busy sucking bruises into the pale, hard planes of his chest, hands working diligently at the laces of his pants. 

The moment his legs and cock are free, Astarion wastes no time wrapping his arms around your midsection and seating you perfectly on his hips, the searing heat of your slit molds around him, dragging up and down as you grind against his length. 

There’s urgency in the air - in the way your mouth finds his own. It buzzes and hums, growing with every pass of your hips, prickling like burrs beneath his skin. He’s as much a victim of it as you are -here in this little corner of the wilderness - to the strange and unrecognizable pull. 

This desire to touch you.

With one hand anchoring the back of your neck, he takes his length with the other, notching himself at your entrance - an invitation you eagerly accept.

You sink down, enveloping him in suffocating heat . 

The grunt that escapes him is entirely involuntary - the honesty behind it bleeding out between his teeth, escaping with a hiss. 

“Shit,” he huffs under his breath, willing his brain to focus on anything other than how you mold so perfectly to him. It’s almost like you were made for this - for him - and the notion itself is almost enough to toss him right over the edge.

It’s hard enough to believe he’s present with you, here in this moment, rather than falling into oblivion and allowing the act to pass him by.

But to be enjoying it this much? 

Sheer disbelief.

Your hips move experimentally, sighing with relief as you take the rest of him down to the hilt. His grip on the nape of your neck tightens, nails digging small grooves into the base of your scalp. The slow rock of your hips as you adjust to his size would surely be enough to finish him, were he any ordinary man - were he not determined to brand this night into your mind for the rest of whatever time you have left on this earth - tadpoles be damned.

It’s not supposed to be like this. You’re not supposed to be like this, melding so beautifully around his length. But he has appearances to maintain, and spilling into you now would surely ruin his carefully crafted reputation, so he steals what’s left of his composure and continues on. 

Astarion stares at where your bodies meet, bringing a practiced thumb back to your perfect little nub and pressing . The delicious pressure has your forehead falling to his shoulder.

“Can I - agh, ” you pause as he cruelly begins to rub your clit, much too slow to actually finish the job, but just enough to feel you clench around him. He continues like that for a few seconds, savoring the way you grip, release, and start to dribble down from where he’s rooted so deeply inside.

“Can you what, my dear?”

“Can I move, please?” 

“Hm,” he sighs with feigned indifference, “Well, since you asked so nicely.”

His hands guide you into a comfortable rhythm, stroking your walls and filling every inch of your greedy cunt as it swallows him up - back and forth, rocking into him until you’re good and split open.

You ride him until your legs begin to fail you - until he has to grab your waist to keep you steady as he fucks up into you in earnest. The hard, wet slap of his damp skin against yours mixes with your strained, desperate moans. He pounds you like he’s sating some sort of hunger - fucks you with so much force that your slick forms a thick white ring of cream at the base of his cock. 

His thumb rubs expert circles into your clit with firm, gentle pressure, until he feels that telltale fluttering of your walls around him, and your blunt nails are digging into where his shoulders meet his chest. 

“You’re close again, aren’t you?” he grunts, and the question is met only with an affirmative whine. “Good. This time, I want to feel it.”

His hands move to your rear, squeezing and kneading - pulling and pushing your hips to grind himself even deeper into you until your body gives up its orgasm.

It drags you under like a raging current. 

You wail pitifully against his shoulder - the suffocating grip of your sex working to milk him dry, gushing around him and soaking his thick cock as he relentlessly fucks you through it.

It's almost enough to end him, it truly is, but Astarion is nothing if not thorough, and G ods be damned if you leave this clearing tomorrow morning without your cunt permanently molded to his shape - without this encounter seared into your very being.

His arms wrap around you, pulling your chest tight against his own and turning you over until your back meets the soft furs - his hips rolling into yours as the waves of white-hot pleasure pulse through you. 

There will be many more where that came from. When you eventually crawl back to his tent with a shy gaze and offer him another taste of your neck, pretending it was simply a coincidence that you waited until the dead of night to seek him out, when the rest of your merry little troup were fast asleep in their bedrolls. Couldn’t stay away? He’ll joke, pretending as though his heart doesn’t stir at the sight of you.

He’ll bed you again, and again, and again. Whenever and wherever you should ask: on his desk - tomes shoved carelessly to the ground, between the cracked stone walls of a cave while the others ready their gear, tangled within the sheets of the first real bed you happen to find. He’ll fuck you in those stolen moments with a willing mouth and hands and cock, however many times it takes for him to realize this does mean something to him - even if he isn’t quite sure what that something is . 

And you, being the perfect thing you are, will be patient, and give him the space he needs to figure that out.

“One more,” he whispers hot against your cheek, “I think we can get one more out of you.” 

“This is insane. How are you so - gods, ” he’s got just the right angle now, dragging languidly in and out of your thoroughly fucked hole. 

He’s done quite a number on you already, and you’ll likely need a day to recover the strength in your legs. The others will surely mock you for it, but perhaps you’ll manage to blame it on the hangover?

“Astarion, I - I don’t think I can do another -”

“You can,” he says with the confidence of a man who’s done this before - one who knows the limits of a woman’s body and exactly how to push them. “And you’re going to stay right here, wrapped beautifully around my cock, until you give me what I want.” 

He drives the point home with a sudden, hard thrust, and the rush of it has you keening in surprise, hands flying to his back and heels digging in for purchase. 

In fairness, he’s hardly given you a chance to come down from the last climax, but you sought him out tonight. You knew what you were getting into, no less than a mouse offering itself to a cat. He’ll toy with you until he’s had his fill - the first man in your life to ever make you come apart. Not just once or twice, but three times once he’s through with you.

And while the third takes a bit more work, as expected, he quickly realizes you appreciate a decent amount of force, so he feverishly pounds into you - pinning your wrists at your sides to prevent too much useless, unnecessary squirming. 

Astarion thinks could get addicted to this level of control if he isn’t careful - his brave, unwavering, diplomatic leader held captive beneath him as he wrings every last bit of pleasure from your body, drunk on his cock and fucked out well past the point of any decorum. 

The way you moan for him now would put some prostitutes to shame - eyes glazed over and thoughts entirely wiped of anything other than being split open and thoroughly used. 

It reminds him of why he’s here. The thankless months you’ve spent worrying yourself over every vagrant’s problems are now practically a thing of the past. And after tonight, you’ll surely be ruined for any other man, securing himself in your good graces. A win, win, all around.

Your orgasm almost sneaks past him, too caught up in his own musings to notice, but the subtle rush of slickness and the resounding sound of your body sucking him in even deeper gives it away. Your head rolls to the side as you choke back a sob, tears forming the corners of your eyes as your exhausted cunt barely manages to scrounge up the effort to squeeze him, and that’s when he finally decides you’ve had enough.

“Where do you want me?” he asks.

“Inside? Agh - Inside, please, ” 

Oh.

An unexpected answer, but not an unwelcome one.

And so, he does.

For the first time in his memory, he comes entirely apart. 

With a few more strokes, he spills inside of you, and the sheer impact of it takes him by surprise.

Hissing between his gritted teeth and buried in your warmth he floods you to the brim, floods every inch of your cunt until his come has no more room to fill. The spend clings to his cock with every stroke, drooling out of you and tracing a cloudy white line through the valley of your rear before soaking into the blankets beneath.

Astarion heaves like a man with functioning lungs, groans from the sudden, noticeable soreness in his limbs, and actually, truly laughs at the absurdity of it all.

Just how long had the two of you been at this? Over an hour, surely?

He’s about to ask you - maybe try his hand at a bit of pillow talk for the first time in his life - but when he looks back at your face, he finds that you’re barely conscious, just on the precipice of passing out from exhaustion.

He pulls out of you, trying his best not to grunt through the overstimulating drag of your skin against his.

Astarion could count on one hand how many memorable encounters he’s had since the beginning of his servitude, and even less when considering how many he enjoyed. 

Well, enjoyed would be a very generous descriptor. More so, how many he was able to stomach until the end. And while his anatomy was capable of producing results despite his head being elsewhere, this was… different.

You are different - that much was clear from the beginning, since the moment you forgave him for pulling a knife on you and, for whatever reason, trusted him enough to allow him to stay with you, despite it being an objectively stupid thing to do.

He’ll tell you as much, when he finally confesses his feelings for you. That had it not been for your endless patience and your unfathomable kindness, he may have never learned to love at all.

But he wont have the words, let alone the maturity��, to articulate that for quite some time.

For now, here you are, snoring softly beneath him. 

And here he is, with the beginnings of a strange, unrecognizable tingling in his chest.  

What ever will he do with you?

[poetryinsilence]

A Wish for Eternity

Astarion x gn!magical!tav

A/n: am I madly in love with this elf? Yes. Do I wish to bring him everything he hoped and dreamed of? Also, yes. Hence, here I am, thinking about what happens after the epilogue, did he search for a way? If you play as a sorcerer or wizard, once you are at a higher level (not in the game), there is a certain spell that could achieve your hopes and dreams. So, what if…? Anyway, happy fluffy valentine's day!

Synopsis: a long journey of travelling through every corner of Faerûn for what seems to be an eternity. Luck sure isn’t on your side in your quest to find a mythical item, a cloak. Rumoured to be special, you are determined to find it, with your nightwalking partner, Astarion. But, fate has other things on its mind.

Word: 2,344

6 months after you reunited heartfelt celebrations with inebriated companions; the night never seems to cease with boundless alcohols and dancing to lively tunes until your feet refuse to leave the ground. Through thick and thin, nonetheless, such an adventure weaved you all together at the stake of Baldur’s gate.

At the right place, at the right time.

In a blink of an eye, another 6 months had gone by. On your quest, you trek through the marsh terrain on your journey and strangle a few swamp things; scorched and burned under the dry heat of the sun and almost meet your fatal death by getting swallowed up inside a giant sandworm; and almost, almost, stepped into the fey realm by no fault of your own. Suppose it wasn’t for a certain trickster. A very lovable trickster, mind you.

The relentless quest to acquire an article of clothing—a rare magical item; enchanted with each woven of threads. A cloak, to be exact, that was once said to have been created by drows of the Underdark. To allow one that’s weak in sunlight to walk freely under the blistering sun.

You first heard about this mystic item from none other than Gale. The wizard was lost in his recent reverie of taking upon the role of teaching, to no surprise. One night, while holed up in his tower, flicking through weathered pages of tomes, when he came across the wonders of this cloak. Intrigued, as he may be, wanting to study the magic behind this unique fabric. After all, a little more knowledge wouldn’t hurt.

But, it seems others require it more than him. Lo and behold, he appears when you think your luck has run out. Seems like Tymora has finally blessed you with a pat on the back, who would say no to divine intervention?

Although this is a solution to your current situation, it all just seems too good to be true. A flimsy piece of garment is your answer? You could swipe a black cloak from the market and enchant it yourself. Though you are well-versed in magic, enchanting items aren’t really your forte. Nor are you of drow descent to know such ways of crafting.

You had your doubts about this cloak, however, you do not doubt the reliability of Gale. If he said such a thing exists, then it must be credible.

Month after month of tracking your journey—based on one rumour that gossamer across Faerûn. With every possible lead, you travelled across the continent of the cityscape to the underworld. This endless journey may be gruesome, but you didn’t do it alone. Your lover, Astarion, walks amongst your shadow. By day, you are his shield protecting him under the blazing sun. At night, he swore as your sword to cut through the lurking dangers of the dark.

The Sun and its Moon.

He is the reason why you’re on this journey in the first place. To bring him the sunlight once more, to breathe in the life of the Pelor over the vast lands that were taken from him when he was still young. But the chances of finding this cloak are getting slimmer by day—like water slipping through the cracks of your hand. 

Astarion’s hope is getting dimmer, too. You tried to reassure him that you were certain the both of you were getting close; maybe you were just not looking at the right places.

Of course, he brushes you off with a smile and jokes that he’s not that interested in it because ‘cloaks cramp his style’. He persuades you not to mind it so much. Or, hoping you’d be the mirror reverberating back to him instead. But you can see right through the facade. Pride. Shame. Disappointment. All too familiar.

The guilt is rubbing off on you. When you talked him out of ascension, you believed that it would be the best decision for him. You were no better than the others.

No. This shouldn’t be the answer. If the cloak’s got you nowhere then you just have to look at this situation from a different perspective. Take matters into your own hands, even if danger is on deck. At the very least, you have to try.

You made camp for the night; a quaint spot overlooking the horizon that joins the sky and the sea, with the moon taking stage in a cloudless canvas. The pale elf took charge of the campfire with a stick in his hand to poke the flame. Next to him, you lie down with your hands weaving through the air, connecting the stars together, making a revelation to your own understanding of your magic. It flows through you like the air that you breathe; like calm waters gliding your hands.

This might be the perfect time to ask, though wyverns gnaw at your stomach, you’ve run through this scenario millions of times in your head. You’re prepared, you think.

The lavender and turquoise hue dissipates from your fingertips, you steal a glance in Astarion’s direction and sit up amid his distraction.

“If you’re getting tired, you should sleep first. I’ll join you in a little while.” He chimes out.

His little ritual, you’ve noticed. Whenever the two of you opted to camp in the arms of nature instead of paying for a tavern’s night and listening to drunk patrons shouting till the break of dawn. He would lay with you in your bedroll until you fell asleep, then as quiet as a mouse, he’d get up an hour or two just before sunrise. You’d caught him once, just as curiosity nips at you, slipping out of the tent and finding him sitting in the open field with the blades of grass swaying to its own rhythm. Just watching, waiting. Waiting to catch a glimpse of the sun, as it slowly casts life back to the lands, before the ray decays him. The light sears his skin and cracks like dry paint, biting down the pain as much as possible until he’s bound back to the shadows. Then you’ll find him in bed again like nothing ever happened.

“Astarion?”

“Yes, darling?” He hummed.

“What if…” you hesitated, “what if we stop looking for this cloak?” Your voice wavered at the end of your sentence.

The stick in his hand stopped. You can see it, the thoughts forming in his mind like a potion. Stunned, confusion and a drop of anger concocted in muddy colour. But like a cork on top, he bottled it up when he soon turned to face you, the warm glow lit up his plastic grin.

“Oh, heavens! I forgot about that until you’ve brought it up.” His voice is in a higher octave. A string of vicious mockery disguising his lie, in all honesty, stings more than you think.

“No, that’s not—let me rephrase this. W-what I’m trying to say is, how about we look for a different method?” You asked, hands fidgeting more than usual.

His crimson gaze pierced in you, they engulfed and tangled like flames, wanting to swallow you whole till you’re nothing but a pile of ashes. “Vampirism isn’t an illness or a wound. If a person dies, they could be resurrected. But I’m too far gone beyond the point of living now, darling. There is no other way.” He snarled, snapping his gaze away before he could say something he truly regrets.

“But..there is another way.” Your voice comes out with nothing short of a whisper. Astarion’s shoulders slumped as he perceived your words, now fire in his eyes had extinguished and reflected with the solemn of moonlight.

Hope.

You spring onto your feet and take his hands into yours, thumb gently caressing his skin.

“Don’t give me any hope. 200 years of hoping for hope has tormented me endlessly that I do not want to be part of it again. Please…I do not have the heart to take this…” Astarion whimpered. You can hear the sob suppressed in his throat for the last 200 years as his hands tremble, emotions so vulnerable and unravelled right in front of you that he so desperately tried to hide. It shouldn’t be like this. It breaks your heart to see the man earning his freedom, yet the illusions of shackles are still tying him down.

It is unfair.

You grip his hands tighter to your heart, biting down the tears threatening to spill. “When there’s a will, there is a way,” You smiled. “Astarion Ancunin, what is it that you wish for?”

“What? But—I don’t understand—“ his brows furrow trying to make sense of your words but failing. Yet, he can feel a tingle at the back of his neck. A sign.

“Please, Astarion. Tell me your wish.”

The warning bells in his mind are telling him to run, to end this conversation right here, right now. But the fluttering feeling in his gut is saying ‘This is it. This is the moment you’ve been desperately trying to find’. Now the sparkle in your eyes is drawing him in, things that he had been longing for, and the love you are showing him. The sign he’d desperately prayed to the gods for all these years.

“I wish…” he trailed off, “I wish to walk in the sun again. I wish to see this world in the light that I was created in; I wish to take back the life that was ripped away from me for all these years, in darkness and torment, to have what is rightfully mine.

I wish to live again.”

The soil beneath your feet vibrates and crackles, the fabric of your clothes softly ripples in the air; a lavender beam emerges through and etches your runes, circling a gateway around both of you.

“Then, your wish is my command.”

Statics channelling in the air as you tune yourself to the weave. You can feel it. You can feel it all—the dark musk of ember, the evergreen blades rustle, the crashing of ocean waves. Magic tying deep into the burrows of the Earth willing to your command, feeding brighter into your rune as you hold on to its reins. But, the power of this spell is not without a cost, like gravity dragging you down. Your face breaks into sweat with the force burning in your gut.

“Stop that! You’re killing yourself!” Astarion struggles to break free from your grasp.

“Don’t—I’m almost there!”

A sinking pressure presses in Astarion’s chest; it’s warm, then burns aflame but it does not hurt; the pressure pushes deeper, searing through his organs and scratches at each porous of his rib cage. And then, gone.

The sound of silence.

Your legs give out as you crumble onto the floor, ready for impact. With a swift motion, Astarion catches you in his arms and carefully lays you in his lap. His mouth opens, ready to protest with his snarky remarks but closes it again, brushing away strands of stray hair from your battered face.

You chuckled breathlessly, reaching your hand, heavy as it may, and cupped his face. “Your wish has been granted.”

The sky begins to transition in lilac as dawn breaks, the ocean glimmers on the horizon and songbirds sing their tunes again. The red flaming ball peeked through the crystal water, bringing out the soft glow of orange. As the first ray of light shines, the warmth of it carries. Hungry, delicate, a sign of life.

“I’m…alive.”

A gentle breeze picks up and brushes against his cheek; hot tears spew from the corner of his eyes. So naturally warm. So, very warm. The silvery strands swayed to the rhythm of the wind, and he inhaled deeply, as much as his frail body could hold, the nostalgic scent of sunshine, like a spring afternoon.

Then, an unfamiliar familiar sense came. A thud. And another. Something rattling endlessly at his ribcage threatening to come out and yet staying in its place, a rhythmic humming coursing through his chest to the tips of his fingers. A sound so loud thumping and yet so quiet as a whisper in his ear. A sense of jamais vu. 

“You'll always be who you are. No matter what you've become—a vampire or not. I will love you as long as life continues to breathe on these vast lands. And till the end of time."

Astarion squeezes you into a tight hug. He’s trembling in your embrace, and catching you off guard, he bursts into a fit of laughter. Maybe even your first time to hear him laughing with such carefree manner but the heat of his tears travels to your shoulder. Your hand finds its way to his soft locks, petting him as you melt deeper into his touch.

He pulls back, eyes frantically searching your face. “I-I don’t—I can’t—“ he clears his throat, “thank you, my love.”

He cups your cheeks and gravitates towards your lips. Sweet and velvety, your lips curl at his kiss. He pulls away just enough to admire your features; cheeks flushed rosy and eyes bright and confident. Everything about you is love-touched, that after centuries, someone could cut through the world to bring him back into the light.

“Now, are you going to stare at me all morning, or are we going to get some breakfast?” You teased.

“Actually, I was thinking,” Astarion eyes you up and down. Whenever he has some brilliant idea, it’s never a good one. “The tent’s been empty all night, and I think we should, um, keep our bedrolls warm, at least.”

His hand slithers its way under the hem of your shirt, running a hand at your soft curves. You sigh in defeat, knowing you could never say no to his lovable face.

“Fine. I guess breakfast can wait.” You smirk.

Hands flew to the collar of his shirt as you yank him down to your lips. You parted them slightly, an invitation for him to deepen his kiss, teeth included. It might be a long morning, but there are plenty of mornings yet to come.

[paganwitchisis]

A Chance Encounter

Rated - Explicit. RATED 18 PLUS

Relationship - Tav (Female AFAB)/Astarion

Trigger Warnings/ Warnings of sexual content and Violence- Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Child Abuse, Abuse, Physical, Mental and Emotional/Verbal Abuse. Asked to cancel themself mentioned, graphic depictions of violence, Smut, P in V Smut, Dead Dove (For the Violence/abuse depictions), Panic Attacks, Love

Word Count : 13.6k (It is a longer one!)

Check it out on AO3 -A Chance Encounter AO3

Summary: What if 1 year after beating the Netherbrain, established spawn Astarion and (AFAB) Female Tav roam the Sword Coast and run into a complication? Instead of being heroes, they accidentally find Tav’s abusive parents? This becomes a hard situation for Tav, and Astarion has to help her through it. Bonus! Add to this a greedy god getting involved and a deal being attempted against our favorite couple? Astarion has his hands full, but there will be a happy ending! Heed the tags for trigger warnings.

Note: I have a master list pined to my page and other Baldur's gate work. This was made as a trauma dump for coping so it is based on real life stuff. it is my worst work yet in my opinion but I wanted to share it. I have 23 stories in progress and in different degrees of progress. This is intended as a one shot but can be changed if there is support for more.

Story: The past year after defeating the Netherbrain has been almost a dream. After finding the Sunwalker’s Ring almost three months ago, Astarion and Tav have been enjoying everything that life has had to offer in the sun. The couple has done everything together since setting off together from Baldur’s Gate. They have taken on missions together and spent long nights tangled together under the stars. Astarion has been enjoying what freedom has truly been like, but occasionally he would wake to his lover having nightmares and terrors in the night. It was in these moments he wished he had the tadpole again. Tav was always there for him, and although the hold Cazador has had on him was dissipating, it was still there. Astarion wanted to return the favor that Tav had given him. The problem was, Tav was still struggling with something unseen and she still wasn’t comfortable discussing what was wrong. Of course, Astarion was sure if he asked she would say something, but Astarion didn’t want to do that. Astarion wanted to let her talk to him on her terms. In the mean time, he would support her the best he could. He suspected it had something to do with the scars on her body that she refused to discuss, The same scars he worshiped when they made love. It was the only thing that made sense, considering what she said during her nightmares.

“We’re near Evereska. You think we can stop there for a break? I’d love to get a hot bath, Astarion. Just a break, then we can keep going.” Tav asked Astarion who broke from his thoughts to consider his half elven lover’s request.

“I’d love to give us a room at a tavern, darling, but isn't that the pretentious city that only lets…certain people in?” Astarion replied worriedly. The history of Evereska is a well known thing to most elves. They snub their nose at anyone who isn't a pure blooded high elf and follows strict customs.” Astarion might be able to get in but Tav…

“I thought that through! They will let me in.” Tav smiled brightly but Astarion was confused how and why they would do such a thing. “ I never pull the title but they will let me in temporarily for the hero of Baldur’s Gate”

“You think that will work? I mean…they could easily not care.”

“Only one way to find out. We’re not far.” Tav rationalized as she drew close to Astarion and looped her arms around his neck. Astarion wrapped his arms around her waist and replied.

“Alright. If that’s what you want. We’ll try it but only for a night. I don’t want to stay there longer than we need to. However I’d be happy to give you a wonderful bath, my sweet.” Astarion gave her a lewd smile. Tav replied with a smile of her own before kissing him deeply. Astarion wasted no time moving his hands to Tav’s backside and gripping her ass cheeks while his tongue delved inside her mouth. Tav couldn’t help the moan that escaped her.

“Later, my love. Tonight, I’ll make you scream.” Astarion murmured against her lips as he pulled away.

It only took an hour to get to the heavily guarded gate that surrounded the border of Evereska. The city was magnificent even without entering. It was clean, surrounded by forests and elegant. When the couple approached the doors to the border, the guard held up his hand for them to stop.

“State your business” He called out. Tav noted he was in generic heavy armor and wielded a great sword.

“We’re the heroes of Baldur’s gate looking for a place to stay for one night only. We have no intention of interacting with anyone or anything beyond a room, some food and a bath before setting off to continue helping those on the Sword Coast. We respectfully request a special exception due to our services against the armies of the Absolute and Netherbrain. The Mindflayer invasion would have spread beyond Baldur’s Gate had we not intervened.” Astarion pleaded their case and Tav merely looked in awe at her lover. She was reminded how much of a silver tongue he had as he stared down the guard and reminded them that they, too, would have been in danger if they did not do something about the threat.

“What are your names?” The guard asked.

“Tav Elleth and Astarion Ancunin.” Astarion answered and noticed the guard quickly looked at Tav and looked surprised. Astarion wondered why this guard reacted this way and drew close to his lover.

“One…one moment.” The guard stuttered and left while the other guard eyed the couple wearily.

“How in the world did you two beat an army?” The remaining guard asked out of curiosity.

“It’s complicated….we had to kill a devil, to get a hammer, to free a Githyanki prince, to control a Netherese crown after defeating a dragon and killing a giant brain, and evading or killing their minions…Oh, and killing the chosen three of the gods of death and such.” Tav was listing everything while counting it off on her fingers. “Like I said. Complicated. It took months and started off in a grove not far from Baldur’s Gate.”

The guard looked stunned, and Astarion could do nothing but chuckle. In the meantime the guard had returned and opened the gate.

“You may enter, but you are only permitted to remain for a week. We are aware you said you wished to stay one day but in case anything…comes up, we permitted you both a week. Stay beyond that and you will be considered enemies of the city. The tavern is north in the city. It is called The Hearth. You can’t miss it.” The guard explained. As the couple entered the city, Astarion was highly suspicious as to the reasoning and his gut was telling him to leave and take Tav with him. Something seemed off.

Tav and Astarion made their way inside and Astarion held his lover’s hand. His lover was normally a strong, independent and wonderfully powerful woman, but when they walked up the path and made their way to the tavern, they ran into a couple on the path, and this was the moment that things began to change.

Astarion didn’t think much of them at first. The man was larger than a usual elf and had a strong demeanor. He seemed like someone you didn’t want to cross, maybe a fighter, potentially? He had large arms and legs, fairly muscular and was capable looking. The man had a resting face that looked angry. The woman looked upset. She looked thin but agitated. She seemed like a normal elf in other regards, but what struck Astarion the most was how the man looked so much like his lover. It couldn’t be though…could it? Astarion never did talk to his lover about her parentage though except to know that her mother passed after her birth and her father remarried. Astarion stopped walking when Tav abruptly stopped after seeing the couple before her. He could hear her heartbeat speed up and hear her essentially go into a panic. Astarion squeezed her hand to remind her he was still there but she didn’t respond. Astarion was very concerned at this point.

“There you are. The guard said you were here but I couldn’t believe it.” The man said. “I heard you wanted to go to the tavern. Is that true?”

Then, in a meek voice Astarion had never heard come from his lover, she replied “Yes.” as she looked at the floor. If she could shrink down, she would. Astarion wanted to growl, wanted to grab her and leave. Something was wrong.

“That won’t do. You will come home.” The man looks finally at Astarion. “ Who the fuck is this?”

“This is Astarion Ancunin. He is my…” Tav looks at Astarion pleadingly. “…Husband.”

Astarion understood without the use of the tadpoles. Whoever these people were, she had to make them believe they were married rather than otherwise. Astarion didn’t mind. Not really. What he did mind was who these people were and why she was acting different all of a sudden.

“Tav, darling, would you mind introducing me?” Astarion asked nicely which seemed to make Tav more anxious.

“Yes, honey. I didn’t expect to find my parents here, so forgive my manners. This is my father, Aias Elleth, and my step-mother Saida Elleth. Mother, father, This is my husband and love. Astarion Ancunin. He is a fellow adventurer who helped me save Baldur’s Gate last year.”  

Astarion noted the man didn’t seem too pleased with the moniker of husband nor did he seem too pleased with his daughter’s accomplishment of being a hero for Baldur’s gate.

“Fine. Come with us. You will stay with us the week at least and then we will discuss further. You will regard our rules.” The man was speaking as he walked along the path away from the tavern. “You may share a room, but that is it. No sex. Bathing and changing clothes you both will be separate. I will not invite temptation in our home. Do we have an understanding?”

“Yes, dad.” Tav replied right away when Astarion wanted to protest.

“Tav, honey. I thought we were going to the Tavern? We only planned to stay one night. Not that I don’t appreciate the generosity, We just had prior plans.”

“Either you stay with us or you don’t stay in the city.” Aias said as he interrupted their conversation. By now, they finally arrived at their location. A large and beautiful house stood before them with manicured grass and well paved walkways. The house had maybe 2 or 3 floors and was white with a wonderful trim. It was obvious they came from money.

“Do you both have children?” Aias asked out of nowhere, which was surprising, yet at the same time it wasn’t. Elves were notorious for having a difficult time procreating.

“Er…no. We haven't been….blessed with children yet.” Astarion replied as they entered the dwelling. Aias gave a cold stare to Tav and commented.  

“I trust you can find your room. 3rd floor, your leftover belongings were moved there already. You have half an hour before dinner to get ready.” Aias instructed before they disappeared inside the house. Tav grabbed Astarion’s hand and bee-lined for a room on the third floor and closed the door. It was a basic room with a queen sized bed. Astarion wondered how Tav knew this was her room out of all of them. Basic furniture but nothing that would indicate anyone ever lived there before let alone a guest room or Tav’s old room. She closed the door and Astarion noticed the lock was broken off the back of the door, as if by force.

“We don’t have much time. I need to talk to you.” Tav said in a panic.

“What’s wrong, love?” Astarion asked

“I don’t know where to start. I wish I could just show you. Gods, I miss that damn tadpole.” Astarion drew her into his arms and hugged her close. This did little to alleviate the panic or tension within the woman but she appreciated it none the less.  

“Should we be getting dressed in the mean time? Or getting ready for battle?”

“Let’s get ready for dinner. I don’t know what they want, or if they changed. But I can tell you as we get situated.”

“I thought we couldn’t get changed according to his rules?” Astarion joked.

“I’m not listening to those rules. I love you, Astarion. I need your touch. I want to see you and be with you as much as you want me…even if….”Tav began to shake slightly at some thought that Astarion could not see. Astarion held her tighter and leaned down. Astarion kissed her lightly and was not expecting Tav to push back on his lips and request to deepen the kiss. Astarion complied and deepened it, but only briefly, as they needed to talk and get dressed before their time was up.

Tav began changing soon after pulling away from her lover’s lips, Astarion following suit.

“I had to call you my husband for my father to let you be in the room with me. I hope that is okay.” Tav went looking for something in the bag. “Ah! There it is! Here, put this on your left ring finger…assuming you’re okay with the ruse.”

Astarion noticed it was the lover’s ring they found in the Shadow-Cursed Lands over a year ago. He didn’t know she still had them. Astarion put the ring on and kissed her again. “I’m okay with it being real as well, darling, but now is not the time for that discussion. Please tell me what’s up with your folks”

“Wait…did you say you would marry me?” Tav went to kiss him tenderly again, albeit chastely.

“Yes, now focus, darling. We can celebrate later.”

“Sorry…it’s just this is hard. Very hard.” Tav curled her hands around herself and backed away from the doors and windows. Astarion, who was holding her before she backed out of his arms, followed her to a corner as she crouched to the floor and waited for her to speak which only took a moment. Thankfully they had plenty of time until dinner would be ready. Tav went from crouching to siting on the floor with her legs drawn up.

“Growing up was pure hell. I was beaten, manipulated and abused in almost every way imaginable except one. I wasn’t touched sexually, thankfully, but the rest was severe. The scars I have on my body? None of them are bandits. I lied. I would tell you the details but we don’t have enough time. Lets just say there was severe physical abuse, I was told I was repaying being born, I wasn’t allowed to eat because they said I was too fat and my brother was treated as the best person in the world while I was treated less than dirt. If my brother was bad, I was beaten. I was the bad one. I was neglected. I had to sew my own skin together. I had to figure out how to find food and stop the bleeding when I was so small I didn’t know what first aid was. This started when I was a toddler. I was dragged about the house and outside by my hair.”

“That’s why hair pulling, spanking, restraints, and things of those nature are a hard boundary for you during sex?” Astarion asked gently.

“Yes.” Tav looked away until Astarion used the tip of his fingers to guide Tav’s chin up to look back at him. Astarion gave a supportive smile before he sat down next to her and ran his arm behind her shoulders and drew her close. Tav continued to talk once she felt safe again. “ Weapons were used too on me. It wasn’t just fists. I broke 26 bones by the time I was a legal adult, triple that sprained. I missed over half of school every year because my parents would try to hide the marks. Every time my step mother felt upset at father she would point out how much of a disappointment I was, why I never had a significant other, why I was ugly or how I had to earn love. I was yelled at for hours every day about how I was the problem in the family, how I should end my life, how worthless I was and more. I believed it all…I mean, I was a kid. I didn’t know any better. I used to cry out ‘I’m sorry , I’ll be good! I love you mommy or daddy’ and when I found they didn’t care as I grew older I would stop screaming when being beaten. My step mother would tell my father I wasn’t screaming enough and to hit me more. Sometimes that meant while I was asleep.” Tav looked at the time and looked concerned “ We don’t have much time, maybe nine minutes left. I’ll tell you the details tonight in bed but please don’t make a scene at dinner. I just want to get through dinner and see what they want. I’m….hopeful for closure and change. I’m hoping that they aren't the same people they used to be.”

“This explains the people pleasing quirk and the praise kink you have, my love, not that I’m judging. If you want me to play nice, I will, but understand that you will be safe with me, so if for any reason you are in danger, I will act. I will not be separated from you either and I don’t care about the circumstances. I will also be completely honest with you. I am livid. Not at you. Never at you darling.” Astarion said as he brought her lips to his own and took her lips thoroughly, his tongue slipping against her own. It didn’t take much for her to moan against his lips but she stifled it. Astarion caught it none the less.

“Tonight my love. You can tell me whatever you wish to tell me, then we have our engagement to celebrate. Maybe we can leave the house tonight so I can properly find a place, maybe out of Evereska, if what your parents have to say isn't worth it, where we can make love under the stars, and I’ll make you scream my name the right way.” Astarion chuckled “Maybe your parents will hear us make love if I don’t kill them first.“ Astarion joked and kissed her once more chastely before pulling back. “We should go to dinner, love, but stick close to me.” Astarion stood up, held his hand out, and helped his fiancé up. He wiped her tears away, tears that she wasn’t aware she was shedding, and helped straighten her clothes and fix her hair.

“There. A bit better.” Astarion kissed her forehead and took her hand into his. Astarion opened her bedroom door and walked down the stairs with her. They left their armor and main weapons upstairs inside their magically enchanted bags. Thankfully Gale had enchanted their bags as a gift during the party six months ago. Only the two of them could access their bags, so they felt safe to put their weapons and armor away in their bags. Additionally, if anyone tried to take their bags, the bags would retaliate with a witch bolt against the person, and the bag would gain weight equal to six times the weight of the person trying to take the bag. Tav was so happy and grateful to Gale for these gifts. Gale also gave them a tent where the inside was as large as a house but the outside did not take up the same amount of space. It was used often during their travels. Even Astarion shook his hand for that one, which surprised Tav, but then again, Astarion had changed a great deal since the fall of the Absolute.  Of course Astarion had a dagger in both of his boots and hidden on his being. He wasn’t going to go against a man who hurt his beloved the way that he had without having a weapon or two at his disposal.

Astarion also had a scroll of Detect Thoughts just in case, tucked away as well, although he hoped he wouldn’t have to use it.

Astarion held her hand tight and they made their way to the table. The table was as opulent as the rest of the house and they arrived to find Tav’s parents already preparing to sit down.

“Where is your brother?” Astarion whispered before they drew too near, as Astarion noticed he did not live at home.

“He passed a few years ago. The Pox…”

“Oh…sorry.”

Astarion sat down after seating Tav and pushing Tav’s chair in. He drank the wine but didn’t eat, claiming to have eaten a large meal earlier. Instead he watched Tav eat and noticed how she ate small bites, something different than how she would usually eat. It wasn’t like she ate like an animal, but she wouldn’t eat like a mouse either.

“Desha salen A'Sum vesta Al nodel Quessir?” Aias said obviously to Astarion as Tav only knew common and not elven. Astarion could reply in common so his fiancee could know what he was asking, but he wanted to play nice as he was asked to do. Aias was asking if his daughter married a Moon Elf and so he would play that up. In reality he suspected he may be, but he wasn’t sure, thanks to Cazador.

“Avavaen, sal'm Al nodel Quessir”  Astarion basically only replied that yes, he was a moon elf, but Astarion suspected the man spoke to him in elven for another reason. Maybe he did it to test how much of an elf he truly was? Regardless of the true reason, he didn’t want to let this go on for much longer. He didn’t like leaving Tav in the dark. She was already helpless being back in her childhood home.

“Your father asked if I was a Moon Elf, dear.” Astarion muttered for Tav to hear.

“I taught you elvish when you were a kid, Tav.” Aias accused. But Tav shook her head.

“You taught Felaern elvish. My brother. Not me.”  Tav replied with a measured voice in her defence.

This upset Aias, who stood up and placed his hand on his belt while he spoke. Tav lost what little color she had, her heart beat sped up significantly, she began to have a tremor and her breathing came quick. Astarion turned to Tav as Aias spoke.

“Don’t you dare speak back to me, young lady!  We have important information we need to discuss, and I needed to make sure your husband was a true elf…unlike you.”

Astarion ignored the man and placed his hand on Tav’s cheek, drawing her face to look at him.

“Tav. Tav, look at me.” Astarion pleaded until Tav’s eyes finally landed on his and began to recognize him. She was pulled onto his lap by the vampire’s strong arms and Astarion heard a scoff from the step mother of the family.

“She is just manipulating you. She is good at it. The bitch always manipulated people.” Saida said “She probably told you some bullshit story about us, too.”

Astarion just held Tav and tucked her head under his. “Actually, I didn’t know anything about you both until just now. So tell me, why do you insist we stay a week when we prefer to stay a day?” Astarion lied in a bid to gain information.

“To be put simply,” Aias stated now, “We lost our son some time ago, and Tav is our only child remaining,” The elder elf said as he took his seat again. “As you may be aware, considering you are a high elf as well. It is very difficult to have children as an elf. We have to wait for a soul to pass and be reincarnated, and so I was lucky enough to have been blessed with two children at the time, but when a disease took my son from me. Tav became the sole surviving child to the Elleth line. Now I find out she got married and I knew of no such thing? Thankfully she had the wits about her to choose a respectable high elf to marry, instead of another mutt or lesser race, but that doesn’t change the fact that there are certain rituals we would like to see done. It shouldn’t take long, not even the full week. Just a few days and you would be free to journey again.”

Astarion rested his head on top of Tav’s before he spoke next.

“What does this ritual entail, and what’s in it for you?”  Astarion demanded as he held his fiance tighter.

“You don’t really think I would tell you the details of a sacred ritual, do you?” Aias snapped back, looking straight at Astarion. Astarion wanted to react brashly, but instead, pulled out the Scroll of Detect Thoughts out of his boot and uttered the words against Tav’s shirt in barely a whisper. The table and table cloth hid the scroll and the effects, thankfully, and no one heard what he said except Tav this time around.

What Astarion found was abhorrent, and Astarion had to stop himself reacting right away. He had to plan and escape with his love. He needed to not raise suspicion and get out as soon as possible.

Apparently Tav’s parents ran Evereska, which was a surprise there, so they would have to flee the city on foot and gain distance as fast as possible without arousing suspicion for as long as possible.

Secondly, although Tav was right to fear them, they were, by all accounts, stupid. They could not figure out how much information he gleamed on detect thoughts, now coupled with what plane shattering revelations he just found out? They were playing with fire.

When Astarion had used detect thoughts shortly after asking what the ritual was and what he got out of it, Aias said in his head

“ Corellon promised us another heir, you prissy half elf lover, If you would just shut up and come with us tomorrow night.” Astarion knew who Corellon was. Corellon was an androgynous deity who is considered the leader of the elven pantheon, but why help them? Corellon was a chaotic good deity and not a malicious one, yet they wouldn’t change the balance of life and death for nothing. Aias continued his train of thought. “All you two idiots have to do is go to the temple and lay with each other. Corellon said they would inhabit the damn high elf’s body, and impregnate our good for nothing daughter so they can have a mortal body or avatar to walk Fae’run. It was a good fucking deal and we are not letting it go.”

Astarion ended the link lest he be found out and said out to the table “It’s a bit late and we walked quite a lot to get to the city. We’re gonna turn in. Can we talk about the ritual in the morning?”

The man waved them off and Astarion took a confused Tav and retreated back to their room. Once there Astarion donned his armor and encouraged her to do so as well.

“Whats going on? We didn’t walk much today so I am assuming you found out something and needed to get us away?”

“Get ready for battle my love. We need to sneak and get out of here as soon as possible. Your father means for us to do a most dreadful ritual. He wants us to fuck each other at a temple so a deity can be born. The fucker would inhabit my body for the deed. The best part is what they get out of it. A child. They want an heir.” Astarion had finished strapping his armor and his favorite blades he acquired from Orin’s defeat - Bloodthirst and Crimson Mischief. When Astarion looked over, Tav had her Adamantine armor on and Soulbreaker attached. Astarion grabbed two regular daggers and although he knew she wasn’t proficient in them, he placed one in Tav’s boot as she stood and looked down at what he was doing. The other he placed in her belt.

“You can never be too careful. If someone breaks your defenses and gets too close for your greatsword, I’d rather you be protected my love. We need to give it some time before we leave. Maybe let them go to bed first but be ready.”

“This may be a good time to tell you everything….the details I have been too scared to tell anyone.” Tav said as she sat on the bed, her great sword in hand just in case. Astarion sat down next to her and held her against his lithe body.

“You don’t have to, but if you wish, darling, I’m here.”

Tav hugged him back and buried her head into the chest piece of his armor.

“I want to tell you. If you’re going to be my husband one day, I want you to know why I have all these scars…or the nightmares.” Tav was so meek in her reply that Astarion leaned down and kissed her lovingly as a reminder that he still had her back. He still loved her no matter what and would support her.        

“I’m here for you, my dear.” Astarion reminded Tav. Tav kissed him again and tried to make it deeper but Astarion wouldn’t let that happen.

“Not yet darling. When we get out of this horrid place we can celebrate any and every delicious way you can think of, but right now we need to be on high alert.” Astarion replied, his hand drifting up and down Tav’s spine. Tav sighed and then began to recount the horrors of her past.

“My earliest memory was being burned. I was maybe four years old and I forget what I did to anger my step mother but I had an iron placed against my hand. The skin bubbled and I was then forced to push my brother around in his stroller as punishment for two hours with the burned hand, and the bubble filled with liquid. I was terrified and in so much pain. Then maybe six months later, I remember being bound but my wrists were too small for the binding to properly take hold. My father sucked at binding my hands and when my arms came loose I was beaten for that. My father used closed fists, the belt buckle, the belt, brass coasters he would lob at me, swords, knives, fire, glass, electric spells to ‘test’ how strong they were, a baton which is like an extremely heavy bat, books, and basically anything he could get his hands on otherwise. He, when I was seven, knew I was afraid of heights and dangled me by the neck outside my window a few floors up. I could hardly breathe by how scared I was. I didn’t do anything wrong either. I just know if I heard his boots on the stairs, I was being hurt. I guess that is another perk of why I am with a man who is light on his feet.” Tav half joked but was obviously dejected.

“You will always be safe with me, my love.” Astarion said as Tav continued to recall her childhood.

“I had to figure out how to stop the bleeding when I didn’t know a lick about fist aid. I had to sew my own flesh together on my own thigh once but I was so young. Maybe eight when a good chunk of my wounds happened that I struggled greatly to put myself back together. That’s why I have so many scars.  Then, when I was eleven, my step mother cheated on my father. She fled to Neverwinter to meet and sleep with another man. I was taken with. When my parents got back together, I was severely beaten. My body was contorted in a weird and wrong way by my father and punched, beaten and bruised…broken. My father had to travel to Neverwinter to get my stepmother. I was beaten the whole way and made to give him directions at the same time because after we came home, she fled back to the other man. I was rarely allowed sleep or food. They were eventually okay and such, but I was the black sheep. I was constantly blamed for the affair and beaten randomly for it. I would, as a child, fill my clothes with thick books to get hurt less when I was beaten but they would just take them out or yank my pants down. If I hid? My father would destroy my room looking for me. He would beat me for the messy room then and task me with cleaning it in an impossible time limit. If I failed, which I would, I would be beaten again. I remember I couldn’t see out my right eye once. It was bloody from a brass coaster being thrown at full force at me because I asked my father to play with me. It took a while for my vision to come back. “ Tav was shaking and breathing short stints. She was rocking when Astarion replied.

“Do you want to take a break? You aren't okay, my love.” Astarion was concerned Tav would have an anxiety attack and did what he could to ground her and give her support.

“No. I need to get this out.” Tav took another breath to steady herself. “No matter what I endured physically, I still have more that I sealed away. I buried the memories as far away as possible and never dealt with them. I started getting nightmares at thirteen and terrors. I began having flashbacks. It was like I was a kid again, everything was so real….all over again. I still have them, certain triggers like smells or words. The boundaries we have during sex, for example, trigger the flashbacks. I think I have most of them mapped out but I still get triggered by things I don’t realize are problematic for me. My step mother did more damage than my father though. She did mental abuse and verbal abuse. She would make me stand in front of my friends for hours as she berated me about how bad of a person I was and how much trash I was to them. I was nothing. I was worthless. I should cancel myself. I am paying back being born and that is why I get nothing in life. I am a bitch and don’t deserve love so I have to earn it. I am not screaming loud enough. I am not worth two cents. I will die alone. I-”

“Stop!” Astarion interrupted. “At this point you’re doing their work for them! You’re abusing yourself. I got the point.” Astarion chastised Tav and held his fiance tightly in his arms. “You’re none of those things! You’re beautiful and worthy of love. You’re amazing, and I am so fucking happy you’re alive and with me. I love you more than life it’s self. Please know that I thrive because of you!” Astarion muttered “Fuck it.” and passionately took Tav’s lips into his own. His hands explored her gorgeous and curvaceous body as he pinned her to the bed. Tav couldn’t help the low moan that escaped her. That is until she heard the familiar sounds of her father’s footsteps on the stairs. Tav began to panic and curled within herself and away from her fiance. Astarion was none too pleased to see her fighting with her demons and took up a stance in front of her in case her father came through that door. The noises got louder until it got near the door, changed direction, and left the area. It went down the hall to another room. The damage was done though, Tav was stuck in her head and having a panic attack. Her demons were out and against her in full force and Astarion briefly wondered if this was how Tav knew what to do with him when he struggled.

Astarion sat with her and rocked with her, saying soothing words as he held her and kissed her forehead. Astarion eventually got her back from her head and held her tight. He got her to calm after what felt like a tenday although it was more like half an hour. Astarion knew they didn’t have time for this but he couldn’t let her stew in her head. This was a trigger for her flashbacks and after what she disclosed to him, she had every right to be scared.

“Darling, are you feeling better?” Astarion finally asked after some time. Tav merely nodded while burying her head in the crook of his neck.

“I don’t expect you to be completely yourself, my love, but we need to get moving. We will revisit this once we are safe, and I will make sure you know how loved you are. I want you to know how wrong they are and if it was up to me, Id slaughter them where they stood for daring to lay a finger on you and saying what they did. Instead, for your sake I’ll make everything up to you the best I can. I’ll remind you for all time how valued and precious you are to me. “ Astarion kissed her gently and chastely before taking her hand. “You ready to leave, and never return?”

Tav nodded and Astarion picked Tav up bridal style and snuck outside the room and down the stairs. Astarion was on high alert, as he used his darkvision to his advantage. Astarion got out the front doors and hugged the wall of the house to get out of sight. Astarion placed Tav on the ground, and they crept to the side boundary of the city. Thankfully, the house wasn’t far off from the eastern perimeter of the wall, however the wall, itself, was a problem. The wall was tall and tipped with barbed wire. The walls sides were slick so even if they could traverse it, which they couldn’t, there was no way to get past the wire. They were going to have to get past the guards to get out, a feat Astarion was not looking forward to. About two hours later as they approached the eastern gate, the gate that Tav and himself entered that very day, they noticed the guard had grown.

“I guess our disappearance was finally noticed” Astarion muttered to the still pale Tav. “We’re almost out, Tav. We just have to get through the gate.”    

“Leave that to me.”

“W…What? There are four guards!”  Astarion exclaimed.

“True, but remember the one who asked how we defeated the Absolute? He is still up there. I might be able to get through. I have to try!”

“I don’t understand. How in the world does the guard’s curiosity have to do with our escape in this situation?

“Just stick with me, and be ready to draw your weapons if it doesn’t work. Let’s try this my way, and if not, then we just do things your way, like we were going to all along.”

Astarion couldn’t help but grumble but he placed his hands on the handles of his daggers regardless, and followed his beloved. He watched as Tav, who appeared to be perfectly okay although Astarion knew better, walked up to the guard she spoke to before regarding the details about their defeat of the Netherbrain.  The guards reacted as expected, drew their weapons, and aimed them at the couple.

“You are under arrest. In violation of our rules and customs here in Evereska, you will come with us.”

Tav put her hands up and continued to walk towards them but began to speak.

“Is this how you treat someone who saved you all? Do you have any idea what we went through to protect you all from a mind flayer hive mind and murderous god’s with their chosen who thought it was a good idea to steal a magical artifact from a devil, to bind the mind flayers to their purpose and attempt to take over the world?

“Devil? Gods?” One of the guards asked confusedly.

“Yeah, Mephistopheles. Gortash thought it would be a good idea to steal a crown from him and try to control the Netherbrain with three stones. Each were given to the dead three’s chosen. It led to an imbalance and we had to act. There was Orin, who was with Bhaal, and was a shapechanger. Kethric who was with Myrkul, and was immortal because he was siphoning the power of an Aasimar. You may have heard of this Aasimar, she was dubbed the nightsong but her name was Dame Aylin. She is the daughter of Selune, which is where her powers came from. We had to free her to kill Kethric, but he became an avatar of Myrkul first. That was a pain in the ass fight. Oh, but by all means, if you think you can take us by force.” Tav smiled and stayed where she stood. Astarion finally understood what she was doing and smiled. Gods, he loved this woman. It was a gamble, but she was goading them to fight them. Making them seem larger then life and lauding their accomplishments to get them out of trouble. If it didn’t work, there was always his way, of course.

“You all are dismissed. I’ll take care of the prisoners.” The main guard said, the one whom Tav spoke to initially. With that the other 3, still in wonder, trudged along and left. Once they were far enough away, the guard said to her “Here is your chance.”

“You’re letting us go?”

“I grew up in Baldur’s Gate. I am a proud Baldurian, and so I am happy it never fell. I just ask you knock me out on the way out to make it look like I was overtaken.”

“Thank you” Tav said and gave him a pommel strike to the temple to knock him down. At this, the couple took off on foot and didn’t look back. They ran, far away from the city. Astarion was more cautious than Tav, as Astarion knew that there could be people with crossbows or bows in general that could still get them, so Astarion carefully always had himself covering Tav’s back when they ran off. Eventually, night fell again, and Astarion and Tav had made it to the coast, which was a good distance away from Evereska. They eventually found their way to the Marsh of Chelimber which was connected to Serpents Tail Stream. The stream would go all the way to the west and dump out to the ocean, the Sea of Swords.

“Are we safe?” Tav asked.

“Darling, I won’t feel safe until we’re quite a bit further away.” Astarion looked around his surroundings, and glanced at the map they had to spare in their pack “There should be a dock here somewhere. Maybe we can book passage to Baldur’s Gate and go home for a little.” Astarion said, and noted the happy look that Tav gave him. It had been some time since they returned home from their missions. “Why don’t we settle down for a little. Not permanently, but maybe a month or two won’t hurt. What do ya say?”

Tav showed her approval with a tight and rib breaking hug as she snuggled her head into his armor.

“Thank you!”

Astarion smiled and held her back as they began to approach the docks thanks to the map they had. They were exhausted, filthy and hungry after their jaunt and escape from the situation in Evereska.

“Hello, kind sir. Are you by any chance heading south?” Tav asked kindly while Astarion stayed close behind, ready to strike if things turned sour. Since her disclosure, he had been protective of her. She just hadn’t noticed it yet due to the circumstances around everything.

The captain was obvious to pick out. Aside from the fact he was giving orders to the entirety of the crew, the man seemed to bow to no one. He was an older gentleman but he looked like he saw his fair share of scraps. He had tailored clothes that had an embroidered name of “Rook” of the jacket. The man was handing out assignments, but the couple didn’t speak to him until they saw the crew addressing him as captain. You never knew who could pose as a captain nowadays just for a lick of coin or other pretenses.

“Yep! My crew and I are heading to Baldur’s Gate and then we are turning around to make another supply run to Waterdeep.” The man eyed them wearily and sighed “I take it you’re looking for passage?” The man is rather short. He is about five foot one, grey hair and slightly pudgy. He is older and in his sixties. He has a glass eye and seems to look at both Tav and Astarion quizzically. “Wait a moment….it can’t be!” The man grew excited as he exclaimed.

The man started to circle Tav and looking her up and down. The action was making Astarion uneasy and his instinct was to pull him away. Nothing could be done, however, before the captain acted first.

“I’ll be damned! You’re the Hero of Baldur’s Gate! If you and your husband are looking for passage, I’d be honored to have you sail with us! Hells, you can even have my room!”

“Th..That isn’t nessec-” Tav started to say when she was cut off.

“Bullshit! You saved my little girl’s life directly and my wife would have died twice over if you didn’t act in the battle and save us all! You even saved my wife directly too! I literally have a family because of you! Thank you!” The man praised Tav’s actions, partly holding tears back in his eyes as he grasped Tav’s hand in his own and shook it before Tav tore it back. Tav still struggled with her past and what she disclosed to her fiance just a day ago.

“if…if you insist. We are looking for a way to get to Baldur’s Gate. If you would be so kind to help us, we would appreciate it.”

“Well, what are you standing over there for? Come on board! Welcome aboard the Stingray, the fastest carrier in all of Fae’run! My name is Rook! I’m the captain of this amazing ship.” Rook introduced the couple to the crew who seemed fairly harmless, even if Astarion bristled at a few of them checking Tav out. Finally, Rook gave a tour and showed them their accommodations for the next tenday. Tav was surprised! For a ship, it was surprisingly modern. There was a large bed, a large bath tub and other luxuries including a decent library of books.

“But, where will you stay? We can’t possibly put you out, Rook!” Tav exclaimed.

“Nonsense! You aren’t aware, but my wife and I met last year in Baldur’s Gate. She just had a child from a man who sadly passed away. She would have lost the babe if you didn’t interfere. Even more, you helped save here later against a hag.”

“Oh my! You’re saying your wife is…”

“Yep! Mayrina is the love of my life and she has told me so much about you. Please, let me do this for you both. I will bunk with the boys. It will help us bond more and by the look of you two, you both could use a nice bath and some sleep.”  Rook observed and expressed.

“Well…I can’t argue with that….”

“How soon till we set sail?” Astarion interrupted, eager to gain distance between them and the warriors at Evereska. Tav would have glared at him if she didn’t share the same concern.

“Oh, we can leave now, even. We just finished loading the shipment. Everything is where it needs to be. Give me a moment, I’ll be right back.”

With that, Rook left, although he wasn’t gone long. Tav had just enough time to take Astarion’s lips when Rook returned and startled the two away from each other.

“Ah, you two are rather cute together. Anyways, I just wanted to say we have taken off from the shore and are officially on the way to Baldur’s gate. It may take a day or two longer than a tenday but we are hopeful that we can gain some speed and make up some time. Supper is usually ready in the evening and should be ready in a couple hours.” Rook explained and went to leave. “Enjoy the room, you two…oh! The walls are sound-proof and the create water spells are next to the tub.” and with that, Rook winked, closed the door, and left.

As soon as the door was closed, Astarion took three large steps to the door. Within seconds the door was locked, and Astarion had picked up his lady love and deposited her on the bed. She yelped and giggled at his actions.

“Now, last I checked we have an engagement to celebrate and I have so much I want to show you. I want to show you how wrong those fuckers that you call your parents are.” Astarion crawled on the bed and caged Tav under him. “What do you say to that? Want to scream my name tonight while I worship your body?”

Tav’s chest felt tight and her fiance’s words went straight to her groin. He knew where he was going. He was offering a distraction. Tav nodded. She trusted and loved her fiance. She needed and wanted him. She wanted to be distracted. She wanted to feel good and feel needed.

She wanted to feel loved.

Astarion made quick work of her armor so that she was only left in her underclothes that she had on under her armor, so it didn’t agitate the skin. Tav took in his unique smell of bergamot, rosemary, and brandy with a base of cedar, amber, and musk. He smelled divine even after trying to escape the guards and being on the run. Tav was unsure how he always smelled so good, even when living with him, but she adored his comforting scent.

Astarion dipped down and took her lips, offering her a deep kiss from the start as his dexterous fingers found both her breasts and the hem of her shirt. Tav moaned into their kiss as Astarion used his hand to message her chest before he pulled back and in one fluid motion, removed her shirt. Astarion worked on the cloth that held her breasts when he drank her in again. Astarion felt her hips rut against his own as they sought relief.

“Eager, are we? Don’t worry, my love, I’ll see to your pleasure.” Astarion unhooked the material binding her breasts and easily undid the laces of her trousers. He then pulled them off her along with her undergarments in one swift motion so she laid bare before him. “Hells, you’re a goddess…you’re gorgeous, Tav” Astarion nipped at her shoulder.

“It’s unfair. You’re fully dressed.” Tav mentioned while Astarion chuckled.  

“For now. Patience, darling. Just relax and enjoy.” Astarion replied as he kissed her jaw and neck thoroughly, purposely avoiding the pulse point.”you’re radiant and worthy of everything this world has to offer, Tav. I can also promise you one thing your step mother said is not going to come true”

“Wh…what’s that?” Tav asked as she moaned from Astarion taking her breast into his mouth.

“When the time comes that you pass from this world,” A thought Astarion did not welcome. “Which better be a very very long time from now my dear. You will not be alone. You will never be alone from now on, so what your step mother said about you dying alone? That is bullshit. Because when that time comes, you will be in my arms. You will be safe and at peace my love. You will pass with my lips on yours and most likely quite a few tears. Then, I’ll follow you…”

“No!” Tav replied as Astarion gazed up at her from his ministrations.

“ Please, don’t kill yourself! Please live on for me!” Tav recalled something she was told before. “Elves are reborn, and we hold on to our memories. Even half elves like me! They’re just buried. It may take a long time but I know we can find each other again. I want you to live…” Tav pled her case.

Astarion crawled back up to be on Tav’s level and replied with a scowl. “If that is what you want…then who am I to deny the woman I love?”

Astarion pushed his feelings down. He didn’t want to deal with the thought of Tav’s death. Not yet. They still had many, many decades together. As a half elf, she had half the life span of a high elf, so this meant she had a good four to five hundred years to enjoy life.  Astarion closed his eyes and kissed Tav again before resuming his onslaught to her chest. Astarion took the other breast into his mouth and used his tongue to flick and suck, twirl and lap at the precious nipple adorning the mass he was fondling. Tav moaned loudly and tried to squeeze her thighs closed but couldn’t. Astarion dropped his hips and rolled them which gave her sweet friction in the apex between her legs. Astarion smiled as she moaned and rocked on his hard cock that was still clothed. Astarion moaned and lavished his attention on her breasts, his hands now dropping to her labia. Astarion used his dexterous fingers to spread her lips wide and using the pad of his thumb, he went in a circular motion over her clit. This caused Tav to buck her hips.

“Please, fuck me!” Tav begged as Astarion shook his head.

Astarion positioned himself after kissing her stomach and hip bones between her legs. He kissed her inner thighs and then replied.

“No. You’re gonna come for me on my face, my love.”

“Then you’ll fuck me?” Tav begged while Astarion kissed her thighs and paused over an area with a pulse

“No.”

“B…But…you said...!” Tav stuttered and was confused. Astarion merely laughed, his breath hitting her wet core.

“I wont fuck you because I’ll be making love to you. You’re too precious to me not to. Now, relax, enjoy and come on me.” Astarion said as he got to work dragging his tongue up the slit between the lips of the labia. He hooked his tongue around her clit and twirled it around the clitoris, pleasuring her nerves and gently sucking on the sensitive bud. Tav moaned louder and threw her head back. She threaded her fingers through his light locks of hair and bucked, still needing more. Astarion began using the flat of his tongue to stimulate her clit and then took two fingers and began probing to see how ready she was to take his cock. Thankfully she was satisfyingly wet and so Astarion slipped two fingers inside her and bent his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion which hooked onto the rough patch of flesh that he knew to be her erogenous zone. With this, Astarion flicked and sucked the clitoris harder and faster and additionally added a third finger. Tav was in a wave of bliss. She was loving the pleasure she was being given and she loved how attentive he was to her body. He was very focused on her body’s small reactions. Astarion looped his arm so that his arm would hold his fiance’s hips down.

“Bite me!” Tav begged as she felt the familiar pressure inside her build. Her core burned with desire and burning electricity snuck down to her toes with each flick of his tongue and stroke of his fingers.

“Gods below, are you delicious! Are you sure about me biting you?”  Astarion asked as he worked her bud. She was close, so very very close.

“Please!! It feels so good when you bite me!”

Chuckling to himself, Astarion commented “ We really were made for each other” Before licking and kissing a spot on her left leg and then sinking his teeth as nicely as he could. Astarion punctured the skin and began to draw the blood to the surface. As the blood hit the back of his throat, both of them were in ecstasy. Tav felt Astarion use his fingers on her clit as well as speed up. Tav went over the edge in a cry of elation as she called out his name. The hand threading into his hair tightened and she heard him growl in pleasure at it. Astarion was grinding against the bed, his hard-on painfully obvious. Astarion helped her ride through her orgasm until she was growing overly sensitive. Astarion pulled back from drinking too much and sealed the wounds on her thigh. Astarion straightened out and looked at the woman below him. She looked ethereal.

Astarion quickly yanked off his light armor after wiping his face with the back of his hand, then tossed his under shirt to the side of the bed. Astarion couldn’t work fast enough to undo his trouser laces as the pressure was too much between his legs. Tav at this point was able to sit up and helped her fiance out of his clothes by yanking his pants down. Astarion keeled on the bed in his light blue underwear, the head of his cock peeking out of the top of the briefs. Tav licked her lips and carefully pulled his underwear down so his cock and sack could finally be free. With a hiss of pleasure, Astarion finally had his clothes pooled around his knees. Tav reached out and leaned forward to take him in her mouth but Astarion took her lips into his own first.

“Please don’t, my love. I know what you want to do. I won’t last long if I’m in your succulent mouth, and I’d much rather be buried inside you.”

Tav pulled Astarion down with her, his lips on hers and their tongues against each other’s. Astarion kicked his pants and underwear off. Astarion rocked his hips gently into the crux between her legs, his cock rubbing against her clit deliciously. Tav would grind up to meet his motions as they drank deep of each other. Astarion pulled back, unable to take the teasing much longer, he aligned his cock with her vaginal cavity and in one quick motion he sunk himself deep to the hilt within her, eliciting a moan from them both.

“Gods below. How the hells are you always so tight, darling?” Astarion squeezed his eyes shut and waited a moment to give Tav time to adjust. When he felt her thrusting and moving against his hips, Astarion began to slowly roll his hips. Astarion dropped his lips to her left ear as he made love to her so he could huskily gasp out.

“I love you Tav. I love you so much it scares me. I’d either still be a slave and be horribly tortured for being abducted, or I’d be viscera on the floor from Cazador’s accession without you. You saved me. You complete me. Gods, sing for me, my love. Feel how much I love you.” Although Astarion did possess a silver tongue, He usually withheld expressing his love as much as he was now because he struggled with his own self worth but he recognized it in her. He saw how much she needed the reminder to her self worth and the reminder of his commitment.

Tav moaned as Astarion picked up the pace and sped his hips up. He began pulling back until the head of his cock was the only part nestled inside her and would drive himself home. Home was definitely the most appropriate word as when he was one with her, he felt complete. It was more than just sex, more than just the physical act. It was an expression of his soul. It took him a long time to realize this but he would be damned if he didn’t acknowledge it now. His hips would piston his manhood deep inside her as a hurried pace as it glided against her soft inner tissue and struck sensitive nerves and erogenous areas. Tav was singing his name by this point, his name a mantra upon her sweet lips. Tav stretched her neck to the side and Astarion knew what that meant. It was an invitation for his fangs once again to find themselves inside her flesh.

“I can’t . You haven't eaten in so long. Maybe our next round…” Astarion tried to rationalize even though he was craving her blood like a siren’s song. Astarion couldn’t get enough tasting her lips as her need for him grew muffled by their lip lock. Astarion shifted so he could grab hold and lift his partners leg by the knee. This gave him a better angle he could use to roll his hips against her and cover more of her sensitive tissue inside her. His length drove deeper than he had previously and Tav panted as her breasts bounced with each thrust. Astarion couldn’t help taking one in his mouth as his fiance grew louder and called out to him.

“I’m going to come!”

“Good. I can’t hold it much longer. Let go while I fill you.” Astarion choked out as his rhythm had long since faltered and his speed had increased to a punishing pace. The only sounds in the room save exclamations of pleasure and moans were the obscene wet noise and the slapping of the skin as Astarion pounded her special place. Astarion felt her walls contract around him before he heard her shatter in bliss. Astarion only got another stroke in before he too finished and spilled inside his fiance, slowing as he rode out their orgasms together. Astarion let out a groan of relief fill him as he grew almost overwhelmed by the intensity of his climax.

In an effort to not collapse on her, Astarion rolled off her and to the side where her drew her in and held her close. It took several minutes for their sweat soaked bodies to begin to tame their breathing and by then, Astarion had kissed her forehead and gotten up to ready a bath for the both of them.

Once the pair were lounging inside the tub while sensually maintaining an intimate hold, Tav finally perked up enough to ask a question she was wondering.  

“You said that you’d feed next round. Did you mean you wanted…you wanted to make love again?” Tav asked as she sat between Astarion’s legs and laid against his naked physique with her back to his chest. Astarion was gently cleaning the filth and grime from their adventures off her body with a soft rag and their bars of soap. Astarion smiled to himself and kissed her cheek before he ran the water over her hair to wash out the shampoo and then conditioner he worked through her locks.

“Of course my sweet. You think I can keep my hands off you that long? Just look at you! You’re a vision! Of course it may have to do with the fact that I love you more than Gale likes to talk about himself…so that is quite a bit.” Astarion joked towards the end earning a playful shove from Tav. Tav who was now clean, reciprocated towards her partner and lovingly wiped his body down and washed his hair (even with some hair hijinks) as well. Tav finished with his body, spending a few extra minutes teasing him below the waist, before they had fun tickling each other in the tub. Tav admitted defeat early on while Astarion took a moment to take a prize from the one he loved. He kissed her with love and passion, slipping his tongue against hers once against before a soft knock came at the door.

“Dinner’s on deck!” the unknown voice spoke out.

Astarion pulled away and helped his fiance out of the tub and get dried off, before he used the towel on himself. Tav threw on some basic clothes that wasn’t revealing after seeing Astarion become upset over a few deckhands who let this eyes wander earlier in the day.  Astarion did something similar but it wasn’t because of the same reasons. Astarion knew his only source of food on the trip would be Tav and so he had to focus on her health the most. He also had a personal vested interest in this situation considering how he felt about her. Of course the more he fed off her, the more he’d want her. It was a grueling cycle that made Astarion wish he had animal blood on hand so he could be in better control of himself. Knowing what he knew, he resigned himself to the fact that by the end of the trip, they’d be sore but damn would it be worth it. Astarion secretly liked the idea of Tav not being able to walk off the ship by the end of a tenday.

Astarion reached out and held Tav’s hand as they left the room. The captains quarters were located on the deck of the ship under the wheel while, as they were shown prior, the mess hall was under the deck. As a result it wasn’t a surprise to find that the deck was clear when they emerged. All the sailors were eating and the wheel was tied down. Astarion didn’t think it was the safest idea, but he also knew he wasn’t a sailor. As the couple approached the hatch that would lead them to the level they needed under the deck, Tav stopped. It was then that Astarion felt the air around them seem to charge with electricity and Astarion knew magic was at play in some regard. Before them and over the hatch a swirling blue circle had formed and Astarion knew exactly what it was. Cursing, Astarion drew his blades while Tav didn’t have her great sword due to the size of it and the quick trip for sustenance.

Astarion stood in front of Tav and braced himself for a fight. Who appeared out of the teleportation circle was not as expected however. Astarion and Tav expected warriors of Evereska to be pursuing them yet when Tav’s step mother and father emerged, it was surprising to the vampire and crippling to Tav. Aias and Saida Elleth were somehow on a moving boat on it’s way to Baldur’s Gate in an attempt to rectify the situation Astarion and Tav removed themselves from.

“You know how much I despise using my scrolls Tav. What the hell got into you both? We didn’t ask for much! Just a damn ritual since you couldn’t be bothered to find us when you decided to become an adventurer and get hitched as soon as a fine piece of meat strolled by.” Saida snapped at Tav who seemed to wilt under Saida’s verbal onslaught. “You have always been willful and stupid. You’re impulsive and…”

“Shut the fuck up you cow” Astarion seethed. He was incensed and would not allow this woman a chance to harass and hurt the woman he loved any longer. “Who do you think you are? Both of you? To think me and Tav will conceive a god for you just because you miss having a fucking boy. If you may not have realized, the woman you both abuse is also your child, but I guess it doesn’t matter since she doesn’t have a dick.” Astarion was sorry for Tav’s loss of a brother however the idea their heir needs to be male bothered him. Tav was a remarkable and frankly stunning woman. She was a natural leader and deserved everything good in the world. Astarion would protect her and her heart till the day his undeath was over.

“So you knew,” Aias said as he took a step towards the vampire. “You may not understand, but Tav does owe us. She had to be disciplined, yes, as she grew up. Most children do, which you will find out soon enough. Tav, let’s go.”

“Owe you? For what? Being born? That’s right, I do fucking know. I know you won’t touch her if I have anything to say about it” Astarion was still so outraged that he cursed frequently.

“And what will you do, child? I’m double your age by the looks of it. I have much more experience than you whelp.” Arias threatened.

“Maybe if I was just an elf it would be a problem, but I’m not, you piece of shit. I won’t do this ritual with Tav for your benefit, and I wont let her get hurt by you again!” Astarion growled as he backed up a little to feel Tav whose breath and heart rate concerned him.

“We don’t need you for the ritual. We’ve had a backup the entire time to take your place. It was just fortuitous she showed up with you. What do you mean you’re not just an elf?” Arias eyed him suspiciously when Astarion gave him a large toothy grin which exposed his fangs. To the elf’s credit, he displayed a perfect poker face except when Astarion had revealed his fangs, Astarion could hear his heart rate also increase and almost smell the fear on him.

“I mean, you will not touch or hurt a vampire’s fiance. I will fucking drain you dry, gods know how parched I am.” Astarion snarled at the next thought he vocalizes “And are you telling me you would have your own daughter raped if she didn’t have an elf in her life?”

Arias pulled out a dagger of his own but only one compared to Astarion having both of Orin’s daggers from a year ago.

“We do what we must to ensure the survival of our name.” was the only justification for something so vile and reprehensible. The thought made Astarion nauseous and very angry. How dare they think to hurt her that way!

“Your life is forfeit.” Astarion growled and launched an attack. Surprisingly Arias put up a decent fight, however he was nothing to a vampire’s enhanced strength and agility. Arias would parry and almost clipped Astarion’s cheek however in a move that was like a blur, Astarion had gotten behind the man and without hesitation he jumped on the man and bared his teeth. Astarion drank from the man who was powerless to fight him off. Astarion didn’t sink his teeth gently into the man like he did his beloved. Instead he tore open the skin savagely and as painfully as he could muster.

Astarion drank deeply of the man and was surprised her father’s blood tasted so rancid. He thought his fiance and her father would share something in common with their blood when he sank his teeth in but was astounded the man’s blood was little better than the rats he had to partake in under Cazador’s command. Astarion was only partly through the man’s blood when he saw something in the corner of his eye move.

His wife had begun to move, no longer stunned into silence she cried out.

“You piece of shit! I should have forced your mother to abort you and done the world a favor! I should have-” As the woman ran forward and grabbed the dagger Arias dropped. She went to attack Astarion physically while attacking Tav verbally. Tav, at this point, ran forward, grabbed Saida by the hair and yanked her back. The woman landed on her back on the floor with a thud and a curse.

“I’m tired of it, Saida!” Tav regarded her step mother by name and no longer by the title of mother. “I’m always so horrible yet you always need something from me! I’m better than this. I am better than you!” Tav screamed and pulled the dagger out that Astarion had gifted her earlier before plunging it into her step mother’s stomach, halting her advance on Astarion.

“But…but he is a monster!” Saida tried to reason with Tav. “He will kill him!” Saida held her stomach after Tav withdrew the blade.

“I only see two monsters here and it’s you two. That man is not a gods damn monster. He is my everything, my partner, and if he wants to kill my father? He had it coming.” With this said, Tav drew the blade against the thin skin of Saida’s throat, killing the woman as she drowned on her own blood.

Tav withdrew a bottle from her pack and bottled what she could of the woman’s life essence while Astarion brought the man closer to death. At the end, when he was not far from killing the man, Astarion stopped.  Astarion let his body slump down on the deck floor as he retrieved Tav.

“Darling? How are you feeling?”

“Better, lighter, maybe? I’m not sure.” Tav explained.  

“Maybe you’ll feel more complete once Arias is taken care of? Go ahead and finish this. Take back what they did to you and let’s not worry about them any longer darling.” Astarion gave her a tender look and care. He was not going to rob her of her chance for closure. He got a chance to kill Cazador, so she should get a chance to kill her demons, too.

 It was a tense moment for Tav to respond, but when she did, she took his dagger and stalked towards the incapacitated man. Astarion was with her the entire time and stayed with her, but at a distance, so she could do what she wished.

“Did you think that beating me would get you anywhere? Or the torture? You made me fear you for too damn long!! Now you will learn, you bastard!” Tav screamed at him and she launched into her own attack. Tav held the dagger vertically and jammed it between the neck and the collarbone. It made a sickening crunch as she pushed it to the hilt towards his heart. He would not survive this as the artery was also nicked, let alone the internal damage that was just inflicted. Astarion also always coats his blades in poison so Arias would soon die.

Seeming to know this and gasping at the pain, Arias said “ You bitch!!! You’re with an abomination and yet you think to tell me off? I wish I killed you, you pathetic excuse for a…”

Astarion had heard enough and punched the man in the face screaming at him to shut up, and further expletives.

Tav the took the dagger and stabbed the man through the eye. This was a killing blow as his body fell over the rest of the way - dead.

Tav sunk to her knees and held herself as she rocked. Astarion, seeing the carnage around them, quickly disposed the bodies and cleaned the scene before he returned to his fiance. Astarion helped her ground herself, as if he was her anchor to the world. He soothed her and held her as Tav dealt with the demons in her head from the horrific abuse she endured. Eventually, she calmed down enough she could function to a degree.

“Hey, my sweet, how are you feeling?” Astarion asked as he kissed her forehead. He continued holding her and rocking with her to help her come back to her senses.

“Empty. Void. I’m not sure how to feel after this.” Tav admitted

“Give yourself some time, my love. When I killed Cazador, I needed time to process it all and what it meant. You were there by my side through all of it. Now I will be by your side as well. Let’s get you some food and we can retreat to our bedroom to rest.” Astarion summized before kissing his fiance on the cheek and helping her to stand up.

The couple retrieved some food and no one was wiser about the carnage that had occurred on their ship. Once in the room, Tav showed Astarion the bottled blood she had which made Astarion very happy to see he had fresh blood waiting for him. Once in their room, Tav drew Astarion tight and kissed his neck.

“Are you sure you’re up to it?” Astarion asked, considering the silent request that passed between them.

“Make me forget. Please.”  Tav begged before Astarion kissed her sweetly.

She asked Astarion to make her forget and that is what he did. Throughout the voyage they made love without abandon, They spoke and cuddled until she felt a semblance of herself again creep back into her personality. Astarion was happy for this, and by the time they reached Baldur’s Gate, Astarion was also happy he had to help carry his beloved down and off the boat.

Things remained peaceful as they lived back in the house that was gifted to them a year ago. Astarion fiddled with the wedding rings in his pocket, only three more days to wait. He was beyond nervous but things would be okay. Tav and himself were healing and supporting each other the best they could. Astarion felt like a new man after Cazador’s defeat and Tav was getting to be her old self again. Things weren’t where they wanted to be, but they were improving. There was no shortage of love and care between the two and no matter what life threw at them, the couple would always work together to endure and preserve their family.

So imagine Tav and Astarion’s surprise when she ended up pregnant….  

Note: Please let me know what you think! My Ao3 is linked as PaganWitchIsis