#i think i missed some of the italics i wanted but this was longer than my usual drabble-ish length so

[darlingshane]

Todo Tuyo (All Yours)

Pairing: Criminal!Shane Walsh x Spanish!Pregnant!Reader

Summary: Some bonds are unable to explain, and yours with Shane has always been a mystery. No matter how many times he's hurt you, you always ended up taking back his sorry ass. This time, after three years gone, when he comes back, you're married and pregnant. And not even that can challenge that bond.

Content/Warnings: 18+, Explicit, Heavy Angst, Smut, Pregnancy Kink, Breeding Kink, Oral Sex (f. receiving), Vaginal Sex, Complicated Relationships, DV, Abuse, Mention of drugs and violence, bittersweet ending.

Word Count: 10.9k

— Read below or at AO3.

A/N: A few important things you should know before reading since I couldn't sum it all up:

— The DV and Abuse warnings don't apply to Shane. — Reader's husband is the abuser. — This is kind of a Dark!Shane version, but he's soft for reader, I promise! — I wrote this as a Spanish!Speaking Reader. — Shane is fluent in Spanish. He learned for her. — I tried to keep Spanish down to a few sentences only, but I translated them all in (bold, italic parenthesis like this). — I won't be translating however all the pet names, just when I need to. But for reference – Shane calls reader 'Corazón' (it means heart, it's the equivalent of Sweetheart) and Reader calls Shane 'Cielo' (it means sky, and it's just like Sweetheart or Honey.)

“What the hell are you doing here?”

You only cracked the door as far as the chain on the lock let you. Through it, you could only see half of your ex-boyfriend's face shadowed under a worn-out baseball cap from Jim’s Body Shop. A handful of curls stuck out on the sides. His chin had a nice shadow from a three-day stubble, and the bags below his eyes gave away that he had been up for longer than he should have. He was still the hottest motherfucker you’ve ever laid your eyes on. No matter how much time had passed since the last time you saw him, Shane Walsh aged just like wine and all you wanted to do is pour yourself a cup of that.

That’s how strong was his hold on you.

You didn't have to be a genius to see that he wanted something from you. That was his MO, he only showed up when he was in trouble and had no one to turn to but poor old sucker you, who never had the guts to kick him to the curb.

“I need a place to stay for a couple of nights,” he said under a breath.

“Things have changed. You can’t stay here this time.”

“Look, I know it's been a while but–”

“A while?” you scoffed. “It's been three years, Shane.”

“I know that. But I don't really have anywhere else to go right now. I drove all the way from Wyoming just to see you. One night. That’s all I'm asking, Corazón. I won't get in your hair. I promise.”

You hated saying no to him, even after all this time. Even after all the times he's let you down, you couldn’t stand seeing him hurt with nowhere to go, but this time there was nothing you could do to help him. Except…

“I could get you a room at The Sennott for half off. If you need money…”

“No, keep your money. I'll work something out. Could I…”

“What?”

“Before I go, you think I could have a cup of coffee with you?”

You shook your head as his face leaned closer to the door frame.

“C'mon, baby, just one for old times,” his plush lips barely mumbled.

You caught a glimpse of those big, sad puppy eyes of his he pulled off so well. Whether it was genuine, it didn’t matter. The fact is that it worked like a charm and against your better judgment, you sighted, unlatched the chain and welcomed him into your home.

After all that time gone, you still had a soft stop from him, and you doubt that’ll ever change. Alas, he’d always be the man you’ve loved the most. That sucks for you and for him. Cause he has a tendency to disappear on you when you most need him, and after the last time, you decided that you wouldn't be waiting for him anymore.

“Wow, you’re pregnant,” taking off his cap, his eyes grew wide when he stepped inside the house.

“No me digas.” (You don’t say.)

It was hard to miss. You were seven months along already and couldn’t even believe it happened so fast.

Your palm drew the curve of your rounded belly over the t-shirt you were wearing. The hem barely touched the top of your thighs, and that’s where he looked next.

“You always had beautiful legs, Corazón,” he smirked, placing the backpack he was carrying on a chair.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” you turned around and thought about all those times your thighs were wrapped around his head while he ate your pussy.

“It never did,” Shane scoffed, fixing his messed up curls.

You picked up the carafe from the machine, filled a mug with coffee without even bothering with heating it up.

“Five minutes. He’ll be here soon,” you said firmly, handing over the mug.

“I’ve always liked it cold anyway,” he lifted the cup up to his lips as you leaned on the counter. “You’re not having any?”

“It’s not good for the baby.”

“Oh, right.”

“What have you been up to, anyway?”

“Do you really wanna know?”

“Not really,” you crossed your arms and paused. “I guess I thought I deserved to know why you didn’t come back when you said you would. I saw Rick a few months ago and said he hadn’t heard of you in a while… led me to believe you were dead.”

“Shit happens.”

“Shit happens? Me lo merezco por preguntar,” you couldn’t hide the frustration in your tone. (I deserve that for asking.)

“I thought you’d be over me.”

“I am.”

“Ain't seem like it.”

“Mira, cabrón,” you showed him the ring around your finger, and pointed once more at your pregnant stomach. “I’m completely over you.” (Look, bastard.)

“That doesn’t prove shit. Looks like you wanted to one-up me, and move on as fast as possible so next time I’d show up, you’d have an excuse to throw me away.”

“Yeah, maybe. Doesn’t mean that I’m not over you.”

“You were always a terrible liar, you know that? Do you even love the poor sucker?”

“Why do you care?”

“Cause we both know, that no matter how much you hate me, you’d never love anyone as you love me.”

“That’s bullshit, Shane.”

“Sabes que es verdad, Corazón. You also know that no man would ever care for you like I do.” (You know that’s true, sweetheart.)

“If that were true, you wouldn’t be leaving every five minutes. You think you can just come here like nothing happened?”

“It's worked before.”

“It’s too late now.”

“Is it?”

He took one more sip from his coffee before placing the mug on the breakfast bar and going around it to have you closer.

As your stare fell to the floor, he noticed the bruise on your temple.

“Hey, what happened here?” he lifted his hand to your face and gently touched it.

“Nothing,” you swatted his hand away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “I hit my head with the cabinet last night.”

“Did he hit you?” His brow knitted.

“I told you. It was the cabinet.”

“Hey, mírame,” he placed a finger under your chin, and tilted up to capture your watery eyes. “Dime la verdad. ¿Te ha puesto la mano encima?” (Hey, Look at me. // Tell me the truth. Did he lay his hand on you?)

“Tienes que irte.” (You gotta go.)

“¿De qué tienes miedo, Corazón?” (What are you afraid of, Sweetheart?)

“No tengo miedo de nada… You just can’t be here when he comes back.” (I’m not afraid of anything…)

“Alright, I’ll go if that’s what you want, but I need to do something first,” he lifted his hand up to your face and framed your chin.

“Shane… don’t…”

“Sh, sh, it’s okay,” he said under a breath, placing his thumb gently on your lips.

“Please,” You weakly pleaded, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to stop what was about to happen.

His tongue swiped across his lips, and the next second they were gently pressed against yours.

Your eyes welled up and quickly shed a few tears upon that first initial contact. It didn’t take much to get you under his spell once more, for the umpteenth time. No matter how many times you’ve tried to convince yourself how fucking toxic he is, you fell for it every damn time like an idiot. It didn’t matter that you were married either, as bad as it sounds, what you and Shane had was something that couldn’t be stopped by any means. Only death could put an end to it. It didn’t help either that you weren’t on the best of terms with your husband either, so guilt went out the door the moment you let Shane in.

Unable to pull away, you let him deepen the kiss and invade your mouth with his tongue. He went slow and tender. That’s how it always started, he’d play on your good side, and once your defenses were down he’d go in full swing. He’d breathe in your air, soak in the taste of your mouth, take all the space until you were left breathless.

You linked your arms around his neck, and kissed him back, following the sweet undoing of his familiar lips as they fused tightly with yours.

When he tried to press himself closer to your body, your pregnant belly got on the way.

One of his palms tenderly landed on top of your stomach and drew the big curve that was keeping him away from you. Your heart fluttered as the small gesture.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are like this?” he broke the kiss, and looked down at his hand, while your head responded with a faint shake. “Eres preciosa, mi vida. I’d’ve put a baby in you before if that’s what you wanted.” (You’re gorgeous, my life.)

“I know, that’s why I never asked,” you placed your palm on top of his roughed-up knuckles. “Have you beaten up someone?”

“Something like that.”

“You’ll never change. Will you?”

“I could if you ask me.”

“You are who you are, Cielo. I can’t ask you that, and you can’t change for me.”

“Cielo. I missed that,” his face beamed, framing your tummy with both hands and dipped to kiss your forehead.

“One more for the road?” You held his face, and it was you this time the one capturing his mouth.

You kissed him as if this was the last time you’d ever see him. You needed something to hold onto. It was so fucking naive of you that he’d ever change or settle. He had another mistress, one that had no lips or body or soul that led him to the darkest of paths far away from yours. It was impossible to compete with that. Until he was ready to let that life go, there’ll be no future between the two of you.

Maybe one day, you kept hoping as you basked in the swirl of his tongue. He was so fucking needy and hungry for you, it became desperate. He panted in your mouth, had trouble catching his breath cause all he wanted to do is swallow you all.

His hands moved to your ass, gripped hard at your flesh. You wish you had the power to stop all that at once. You could, but you wanted him just as much. Your hormones were not helping either. They only fueled the flame that was still clearly alive between you.

You moaned in his mouth, as the sloppy doing of his tongue drove you out of your mind. One of his hands reached further down your bottom, slipping between your thighs to feel the dampness pooling on your underwear. He always knew how to get you wet with just a kiss, but this was something else entirely. You were sopping wet. He could feel your juices seeping through the fabric.

“Say that you don’t want me again, I dare you,” he drawled with a shit-eating grin.

“Shut up. I need you to fuck me,” you sucked in his lower lip hard between your teeth, tugged it, and let it go when it was bright pink.

He scoffed at your request, not of mockery but pride of being still able to incite you like that.

“We don’t have much time. You have to do it fast,” you warned and turned around, pushing your panties down to your ankles as he undid his belt and fly.

“Your wish is my command, Corazón.”

Shane quickly pulled out his cock. It was half hard.

Biting on your lip, you glanced over your shoulder to see him jerking himself off up to a firmer completion.

You stuck your butt out and propped your forearms on the hard surface of the counter, as Shane guided his cock oh so carefully between your tender lips.

“I’ve never fucked a pregnant woman before. I don't wanna hurt you,” he confessed in your ear as his hardness stroked just a little further into your walls.

“Don’t overthink it. Baby’s safe. Just fuck me like always.”

“Hmm,” he followed your order and after a couple of experimental thrusts, the pace of his hips skyrocketed to a punishing level that felt like heaven and hell rising at the same time between your legs. He kept your hips locked in his hands, fingers digging in your flesh as you tucked one of your hands between your legs to feel your juices leaking all over your legs and floor. It was like nothing else you’ve ever felt. Most of it was partially hormonal, the other part was a mix of being touch-starved from your husband, and missing Shane, and his cock like crazy.

You rubbed your clit and all of a sudden one of his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt at the front to feel your breasts.

“Fuck, you’re so big and juicy, mi vida,” he grunted, squeezing your overly-sensitive, pebbled nipple that felt like a rock between his fingers. His face leaned closer to whisper in your ear. “I’d put another baby in there if I could. You’d like that?”

“God, I would love that,” you moaned, throwing your head back against his shoulder. “Come inside me, mi amor.”

“Yeah? Tell me you love me, and I’ll give you anything you want.”

“I love you, Cielo,” you gasped as he removed your hand from your pussy to replace it with his own. “I fucking love you and your big cock. Please. Hmm, fuck… fuck, fu…”

“There, mi vida.”

You felt your soul being pulled out of your body when the winning push forced a torrent of pleasure that traveled over your body as your opening contracted around his dick. You went up so high, so fast, you almost didn’t feel when he shot his load.

When he slipped out of you, you quickly went down to pull on your panties back in place. You almost felt embarrassed at the mess that you made on the floor and all over the cabinets below the counter if it didn’t feel that good.

“You really have to go now,” placing a palm on his chest, you glanced out the window, knowing that your husband wouldn’t take much longer now.

“I wanna see you again.”

Your eyes welled up. “We can’t do this again, Shane. If he finds out…”

“Please,” he pleaded over and over in between a trail of desperation and kisses peppered all over your face and neck. “I can’t live without you, mi amor, mi cielo, mi corazón. Te necesito.” (My love, my sky, my heart. I need you.)

“Shit. Alright,” you paused to collect your thoughts. “Come tonight. After ten. He’ll be gone the whole weekend. If there’s a truck on the driveway you turn away.”

“Got it.”

“Leave your car at the end of the street, you walk all the way here, and come at the back. ¿Entendido?” you pointed at the back door in your kitchen. (Got it?)

“Alto y claro.” (Loud and clear.)

“C’mere, Cielo,” you wrapped your arms tightly around him, and inhaled the smell of his neck for a long moment before sending him in his way.

You went into the bathroom to clean yourself up and saw his seed had dripped from your pussy to your panties. It was still warm and wet. You dabbed your fingers on it and shamelessly brought it to your lips to remember how his cum tasted. Then you pushed those same fingers into your opening to pick up the remains of you and him and licked every bit of it off your digits.

You hated that he had turned you into this mess of a woman that couldn’t ever resist him. Some bonds are unable to explain, and as much as you hated him, you loved him even more than you thought.

As you wiped your legs and changed your underwear, you felt the roaring of your husband’s truck pulling up the driveway before stomping into the house. You hurried to clean up the mess in the kitchen. You could tell it smelled like sex, but Clayton had been drinking as usual, and his senses were shot by the stench of alcohol.

You really knew how to pick them. First Shane, then Clayton. To be fair, Clay was a completely different person when you met him. It wasn’t until a few months ago that he lost his job, and you got pregnant that he started showing his true colors. While Shane, you always knew what you were in for cause he was always the same person from beginning to end, he never hid what he was.

Every other weekend Clay went to a cabin up in the mountains with a group of friends to hunt and whatever the hell they did cause hardly you ever saw anything brought back from those alleged hunting trips. He just brought more dirty clothes soaked in booze and muddied boots. Lately, you didn't even care. You actually preferred when he was gone cause it got him out of the house and those weekends away were the only times you could breathe.

For all that he had put you through, you didn’t feel guilty in the slightest from doing what you did with Shane. God knows Clay would probably be fucking around. You were sure of it cause one, he hand’t touch you since you told him you were pregnant; and two you weren't blind or deaf either, and had caught him talking overly friendly, like he used to talk to you at the beginning, over the phone a couple of times when he thought you were asleep.

“Did you have coffee?” Clay picked up the mug with coffee grounds that Shane left on the counter. “You shouldn’t drink it.”

“I didn’t have any. I had a friend over earlier and I forgot to clean it up.”

“You know how I feel about having people in my house when I’m not here.”

“It’s my house actually,” you pointed out. “What? Are you gonna forbid me from having friends over now?”

You knew you shouldn't poke the bear when it was drunk, but sometimes your mouth ran faster than your brain.

“We're married, remember? What's yours is mine and all that shit. Don't forget that, bitch.”

God, you had to refrain so hard from punching his face.

As you headed out of the kitchen to avoid getting yourself further into trouble, he grabbed your arm, stopping you from leaving.

“I am your husband. And this is my house. You'd be nothing without me. Show some respect.”

“Men who hurt their wives, their pregnant wives, don't deserve any respect,” you snarled. “Now let me go before you do something you might regret later.”

He looked at you with sharp steel eyes, clutching your arm so hard it felt like he might snap it in half. He wanted to hit you so badly, you could tell, like the night before when he swung the remote across your face when you accidentally knocked over his beer.

You held his stare just as defiantly, and pulled your arm free from his grasp. It left a mark that turned into a bruise quickly after.

Staying out of his way, you went into the nursery and sat down with a book on the armchair to read while he gathered his hunting supplies. You heard him heating up some leftovers and showering before leaving.

All you could think when you listened to his truck drive off was seeing Shane again. You had a couple of hours left to get ready. It was a safe window for you to know that your husband was up in the mountains and wouldn't be coming back till Sunday. You followed his friend's updates on Instagram to keep track of him. Trent was an avid poster, and it was the perfect way to keep tabs on him to avoid the imminent disaster of him finding you with your ex.

You took a shower and changed the sheets of your bed, so they wouldn't smell like Clayton. You were dead set on banging Shane in your bed. Technically, he had fucked you many times before, pretty much in every room of this house but never in your new marital bed. It really excited you thinking about it. You wished you had more time to go to the mall to purchase some sexy lingerie that fitted your pregnant body.

God, Shane really knew how to turn you into an idiot.

In the end, it didn't matter what you wore cause it wouldn't stay on for long. You opted for wearing a pair of lacy panties that you could still fit, but the matching bra didn't stand a chance against your new boobs. You put on a flannel shirt instead, and buttoned a couple of buttons that allowed for your generous cleavage to be the center of attention.

You took off your ring as well and hid it in one of the drawers of your nightstand.

When you finished fixing your hair you went around the house and drew all the curtains for privacy. Then you finally got to relax for a while. You checked Trent's Instagram to make sure they had arrived at the cabin. Exactly like you predicted, he documented the whole thing.

Waiting for Shane, you watched TV and ate some food. When you looked at the clock it was twenty minutes past ten. He couldn't be far, right? You built yourself up to the idea of meeting him again, that’d be disappointing if he didn’t come.

For ten more minutes, you started to believe you shouldn’t have put that much effort until you heard a soft knocking on the back door.

“Empezaba a creer que habías cambiado de idea,” you said, letting him in, and securing the lock on the door. (I was starting to think you changed your mind.)

“When have I ever disappointed you, mi vida?” As you took his hand, you gave him a look, and he scoffed, “don’t answer that.”

“I’m just glad you came back.”

“Fuck! Look at you, Corazón,” his eyes traveled down your body when you turned to him. “You wanna give me a heart attack?”

Taking that as a win, you grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulled firmly towards you to have his lips crash against yours. Then you took him to the bedroom and as you were about to capture his mouth again, Shane stopped you.

“Hold on,” he put some distance between the two of you. “I need to get a good look at you.”

He took off his shirt and tossed aside, as he circled around your body, committing to memory the new curves of your body. When he stood in front of you, you took a closer look at his exposed chest and gulped at the sight of your name tattooed in delicate lettering over his left pec.

“You got that for me?” you traced it with a finger.

“Si, Corazón.”

Your stomach fluttered as his fingers undid the two buttons of your shirt and pushed it off your shoulders to uncover your breasts and baby bump.

“You’re gorgeous like this, mi vida,” the flannel shirt fell to the floor as the back of his knuckles brushed the side of your heavy breast before holding one of them in his hand. It was way larger than his palm he realized, he used to be able to hold it all, now your flesh puffed up between his fingers when he squeezed. “You’re so sensitive.” He noticed your nipples getting hard with just a light touch.

“You can’t even imagine,” you laughed.

“How about here?” Shane guided his other hand between your legs to feel that you were already wet.

You hummed at the soft strokes of his fingers as they slid under the elastic to caress your tender skin. His lips parted at the corner of your mouth as he gathered the arousal from your folds. Your lips down there were puffed too from all the blood gathering all at your core.

“Lay down, I wanna eat you up, Darlin’.”

He bit his bottom lip and watched you following his order. You slipped your panties off under the dark stare of his beautiful eyes that had turned from sweet to a dangerous edge that could set anyone on fire.

You tucked a few pillows beneath your back to keep the weight of your belly off your spine, and reclined as comfortably as you could, spreading your legs wide for him like an offering.

With a grin, he propped a knee on the bed and looked at your cunt as if it was the most precious thing he’s ever seen. He settled between your legs, curled his arms around your thighs and dived right in. With the tip of his nimble tongue, he slowly drew the shape of your lips before circling around your clit. Unlike your husband, Shane was a master of giving head, and was well versed on your pussy. Even after all this time, he still remembered what made you tick.

A shiver ran down your spine as the plane of his tongue licked long strokes from your entrance to your swollen bud.

You threw your head back when his lips wrapped around it. The vicious pressure of his lips around that bundle of nerves felt out of this world.

“God, I’ve missed you, Cielo,” you moaned, threading your fingers in his hair.

“You taste so fucking good,” he grunted ferociously against your folds as a response and all of a sudden he began to suck on you like a starving beast.

Your juices, just as before, leaked all over. It was ridiculous how much you could produce in such a short time. You could feel the fabric below your ass absorbing them.

All your bearings were quickly lost as he took you closer to the edge. All you could do is cry out in pleasure, and squirm as his grip tightened around you to keep your hips in place. You tugged hard on his hair to anchor yourself but all that did is prompting him to go even harder.

“Close… I'm so… fuck, Shane, please… please,” you couldn't stop begging with shallow breaths. Your core was on fire, and you desperately needed to come. “Yes, like that… Ahhh.”

Your legs suddenly clenched around his head a wave of wild bliss coursed through your body, from your center out in different directions. Your toes curled, your muscles shivered, your breathing faltered as your mind was temporarily blown into pure joy. You closed your eyes and let that all take you over your body for a few seconds.

Slowly coming back to your senses, your pussy tingled for a little longer than usual.

Shane was on his knees between your legs, massive erection in his hand when you opened your eyes to find him staring directly at you.

“Goddamn, Corazón. I wish I could take a picture of you like that. I've never seen you come like that for me,” he groaned, pumping his length. “Look how fat you made me.”

Softly laughing, you managed to lift your hand to help him. You replaced his fist with yours and felt the jerking of his firm dick in your palm. His girth was so wide, your thumb couldn't touch any of your other fingers in a curl.

You wondered how many pussies his cock fucked during the past few years. And without thinking or stopping your hand, you asked…

“Di, ¿cuántas zorras te has tirado con mi polla?” (Say, how many bitches have you fucked with my cock?)

“¿Tu polla?” he snorted. (Your cock?)

“Yes, just mine,” you winked as you kept your hand moving. “Dime la verdad o paro.” (Tell me the truth, or I’ll stop.)

“Hmm, no me tortures así, Corazón.” (Hmm, don’t torture me like that, Sweetheart.)

“Come on. Tell me,” you requested again.

“None,” he panted, unable to keep up with the rhythm of your hand. He had to brace a palm on the mattress to keep himself from falling. “You said it. Soy todo tuyo, mi vida. Te lo prometo.” (I’m all yours, my life. I promise.)

You smiled widely, pressing your teeth on your lower lip, as you enthusiastically got him to ejaculate all over your swollen belly. It was warm and sticky, and you couldn't help but spread it like butter all over your tight skin, and bring some of it again to your mouth as Shane’s body melted next to yours.

You turned to the side, pushing the pillows under your back aside, keeping one for your head.

Your fingers found his stubbled jaw as you tilted his face in your direction.

“You really haven't been with anyone since the last time I saw you?”

“No. Not like this, Darlin’. Don’t get me wrong, I fooled around with a couple of girls but nothing else. You know me better than that.”

“I'm not sure if that's still true.”

“Do you wanna know where I've been the last two years?”

You were afraid to find out, but your head nodded anyway.

“Prison,” he said without breaking eye contact.

“What for?”

“Possession. Bet you thought it was about time they caught up with me, huh?”

“No, I’ve never thought that, Shane. As much as I wanted to punish you sometimes, I never wished for that to happen. When did you get out?”

“Yesterday morning,” he smiled softly. “All I could think was you, so I got in the car and I drove all the way here without stopping.”

“You could've called me.”

“I couldn't.”

“Why not?”

“Cause you would've dropped everything to help me, and I couldn't put that on you.”

“I wish you had. I would've done anything…”

“I know.”

“I'd have waited for you.”

“I know that too, Corazón. Don't beat yourself up for it.”

Your phone dinged, and you blindly extended your hand to pick up from your nightstand. It was another update from Trent. They were playing beer pong like fucking frat guys, and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“What’s that?” Shane asked.

“Oh, nothing, just checking on him. I’m keeping tabs on his friend’s Instagram to see that he’s still at the cabin.”

“No, not that. This,” Shane lifted your wrist as the soft light from the night lamp highlighted the mark on your forearm. “You didn't have this earlier. I told you my truth. Would you tell me yours?”

Placing your phone down, you pursed your lips, pondering why you’re still protecting that asshole.

“I… you were right earlier. I don’t really love him anymore. I don’t think I ever did. I just needed some stability and I thought he was it. This happened after you left. And this,” then you pointed to your temple, “he smacked me with the remote last night.”

“Why are you with someone like that? I thought–”

“You thought, what, that I had some self-respect? I used to. I think I did. It’s more complicated than you think. He wasn’t like that when I met him.”

“They hardly ever are.”

“He lost his job a few months ago and started drinking, it wasn’t until recently that he-”

“Stop. Don’t make excuses for him. Losing a job doesn’t give you the right to be an asshole and hit your wife or any woman at all. And drinking… I know a thing or two about getting wasted, and I never put my hand on you no matter how drunk I was.”

“You're right… I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Then, kick him out. Call the police. Get a restraining order. This is still your house, right?”

“Yeah, it is. But like I said – it’s more complicated than that. He has two cop friends. Best friends. They protect each other like fucking wolves. Last year, one of them killed a girl in a DUI, and he got nothing but a slap on the wrist. If I were to show up to ask for a restraining order, who do you think they’ll protect?”

“That’s fucking crazy. You can't live like that, baby.”

You sighted, combing the curls behind his ear. “Sometimes, when he goes away like this I think – this time he’d be too drunk to drive, and he’d end up going over a cliff, die upon impact and would never set foot in this house again. I keep closing my eyes at night and dreaming about it.”

Shane softly patted your hair back, and snuggled closer to you, wrapping you in his arms.

“I’m not gonna let him hurt you again. I promise, Corazón.”

“You don’t have to save me.”

“Lo sé, mi vida.”

Smiling against his chest, basking in the familiar scent of Shane, and feeling the big flutter of a kicking storm in your stomach. You held his hand and placed it on the side of your belly.

“She’s kicking. Can you feel that?”

“Yeah, I feel it. She? It’s a girl?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s strong. Does she have a name?”

“She does,” you placed your mouth over his ear, and whispered the name of your baby girl.

“That’s a beautiful name. She’s gonna kick ass, just like her mama.”

“I hope so,” your lips quirked up as you placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth and confessed. “I wish she was yours.”

“I wish she was mine too.”

Your lips locked together once more as you rid yourself of all bad thoughts clouding your head. You only ever wanted Shane. It’s easier to forget how much you love him when he’s not around, and just as easier to remember that you’d die for him if you had to. As the intensity of the kiss rose, you shifted and straddled his waist. He watched you become a goddess as you rubbed yourself over his dick, getting it to fully harden.

“Are you in heat or something?” he laughed, holding your hips.

“It’s the hormones. What? Aren’t you up for the challenge, big guy?”

“Oh, I’m up, alright.”

You lifted your ass, held his cock and carefully sank onto it.

Rocking back and forth you propped your hands on his broad chest, so you could boost yourself up to bounce all over his massive erection. His hands held your ass to help you go faster.

When you caught him eyeing your big breast you bent over, holding one in your hand and put it over his mouth, so he can suck on it. His lips wrapped tight around your sensitive nipple and latched on it. You were growling at the wonderful sensation paired with his throbbing cock inside you.

“God, Corazón, you’re amazing, you feel so… “ He moaned as he switched to the other nipple.

This time his teeth scraped the surface, and you almost came at the surprise. You were so close you couldn’t help but bounce a little faster. You had to brace both hands again to keep up with the rhythm. The weight of your belly started to hinder your pace the closer you got to the edge.

“Help me,” you grabbed Shane's hand and put it on your clit, pleading with a cry, “I need it. Please.”

“I got you, baby. I got you.”

He rubbed viciously on your clit until you came with such force all your juices squirted all over him. Then the pleasure of your orgasm forced his own. His cocked jerked, and suddenly you were filled again with his delicious seed.

You didn’t hear Shane leaving after you fell asleep in his arms.

When you woke up to pee a couple of hours later, the clock marked 4AM, and he wasn't in your bed anymore. He had left the house altogether. You didn't have plans for the next day, but you weren't expecting him to leave that early in the morning either without saying goodbye.

There was a pang of disappointment in your chest as you went back to bed, but you closed your eyes, naively hoping he'd come back later.

It was your lucky day cause when you opened your eyes again, he was back and had brought breakfast with him. All our favorite plates were laid on the breakfast bar as he made a fresh batch of coffee.

“Where did you go, Cielo?” you asked in between bites.

“Went out for breakfast.”

“I can see that. I mean earlier. Woke up at 4 and you were gone.”

He took a long sip of his cup before responding, “I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a drive to clear my head.”

“It must be strange sleeping in a new bed.”

“Yeah, a little.”

“I have to work later. I can call in sick if you want–” you offered.

“No, baby, do what you gotta do. No te preocupes por mí.” (Don’t worry about me.)

“You can’t stay here, but I could still get you a room at the hotel if you’re tired.”

“Nah, do your thing, I’ll figure it out.”

“Would you… come later?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll be here, Corazón,” he kissed your hair and picked up your phone from the counter, “unlock it. I’ll put in my new number, and you call me when you’re off. Yeah?”

“Prométeme que volverás,” you said before handing back the phone. (Promise that you’ll come back.)

“Lo prometo.” (I promise.)

After cleaning your plate you relaxed in bed for a little while, trying to get him to catch up with his sleep. There was no luck in that department cause he couldn't keep his eyes and hands off you. So once again, you found yourself in a trance of hormone-induced lust, and had Shane thrusting into you at full force from behind. Your ass was in the air, held in his broad palms, while you sobbed and moaned in pleasure against the pillow beneath your head. You desperately pushed back with your hips, taking him all in. Feeling every stroke, every inch and throb until your legs were left trembling and the fire in your core had spread through your whole body.

When you went off to work in the afternoon, it all seemed to become a hazy dream. It was all so intense that part of you thought it couldn't be real. But that was most of your relationship with Shane. Sometimes you couldn't help but feel you weren't enough for him. Him constantly leaving and breaking his promises was proof that you shouldn’t trust everything he says, but this time felt different. Maybe it was cause he was fresh out of prison, but you could tell that perhaps he was ready to stay out of trouble.

The first half of your shift went by quickly. You kept checking your phone like a maniac to make sure your husband stayed where he was supposed to, and luckily he did. If he wasn’t afraid of hurting you, you weren’t afraid of hurting him back, but you were indeed scared of him finding out about you and your old flame regardless.

You were at the front desk when Shane came in an hour before your shift ended to ask for a room. He needed a place to stay after all, and as the manager you managed pretty well to comp him a room for a couple of days. He carried his scarce luggage that consisted of just a duffle bag to his room, took a shower and waited for your shift to end.

Shane was half asleep when you finished work and knocked on his door. It was easy to see that he was utterly spent, so you didn’t make him drive back to the house. Instead, you stayed with him for the night. You trimmed his curls and shaved his face. Then, you took a long bath together like old times.

“Are you going to stay this time?” you asked once you got into bed.

You faced the other under covers and didn't talk louder than a whisper.

“I don't have anywhere else to go, baby.”

“Does that mean that you're done hustling?”

“I gotta. I don't have any other choice than to be done. Next time it could be 20 or 30 or life. I think I've tempted fate way too many times and got away with more than I should've. I had a lot of time to think and realized none of it mattered. Didn't care about the money. It was just… I don’t know, the power I guess. And I missed on a lot of time with you, and now I have nothing to show for. I don't really know what I'm gonna do, but I'm done with all that. All I know is that I just wanna be with you.”

“I…” your words caught up in your throat, as you tried to convey and process what he said at the same time. “I wanna believe that's true, but you've said you were done before and always felt right back into it.”

“This time is different. I can promise you that I'm not going anywhere this time. Cross my heart.”

Your lips softly pulled up at the corners as you placed your hand over your name's tattoo on his chest.

Regardless of his promise, you’d always have some reservations when it comes to him. Until he really proves it, there’s nothing stripping all those doubts he’s ingrained in you over the years.

When you woke up in the middle of the night he was gone like the night before. This time there was a note saying that he had gone out for a drive and signed it with – I love you, Corazón.

By the time you got up this time he hadn't come back. It didn't worry you though. You just went on with your day, drove back home to take a shower and run some errands before your next shift.

You weren't exactly sure what was going to happen next. You couldn't just jump into Shane's arms after all this time and pretend nothing ever happened. If this was really happening you had to make sure that was true to his word and figure out how he’d fit into your life when you were about to have a baby.

But most importantly, there was something you had to do first. Something that you should’ve done a long time ago and that was leaving your husband. You had been subjected to verbal and mental abuse for months that gradually turned into physical abuse. No matter how much it scared you, it was time to put your foot down and protect not only yourself but your daughter. She couldn’t be raised around him. And Shane or no Shane, it was something you couldn’t keep brushing aside hoping it’ll get better. It was easier to think about it than to actually do it. You weren’t sure how to start. Like you told Shane, going to Lafayette’s Police Department wasn’t an option. But maybe giving Rick a call and asking him for some guidance could be the first step of many.

You pinned that thought for the next day and went back to work a little earlier than usual. It was Sunday afternoon, and you dreaded that Clayton would be coming back later. So you decided to pay Shane a visit before work.

“You know, being here with you this weekend… it’s been the best thing that’s ever happened in a long time, Sweetheart.”

“Well, anything can beat spending two years in prison.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, mi vida. I mean it. I just hope you can forgive me someday for everything I’ve done. There’s a lot of shit you don’t know about that I wanna tell you but…”

He lowered his stare.

“Shane… I… If what you say it’s true, if you prove that I can count on you and that you’re not going back to all that, I’d never hold anything against you. That’s my promise. Whatever you did, you’ve done your time, right?”

“Right,” he picked up your hand and kissed your knuckles before smoothing his palm on your baby bump.

“I can come back later, just for a little while before going home.”

“If you feel like it, I’ll be here, Corazón. Always. No matter what happens.”

He said kind of ominously before you left the room. His tone was certainly different from the night before, he could barely look you in the eye as you said goodbye.

It really puzzled you as you went back to your desk. Maybe he was just tired or perhaps, he was actually feeling the weight of all his actions at once and was actually remorseful. You definitely hadn’t seen that look in his face before that afternoon.

On a quiet evening, when you thought this weekend couldn’t bring more surprises, there was something else that turned your world upside down when two of Clayton’s friends showed up at the front desk. It was the two cops, Simon and Paulie, or Prick One and Prick Two as you called them, asking you for a private place to talk.

You took them into the office where they asked you to sit down, so they could break the news of your husband’s death. It was hard to hear, no matter how many times you’ve fantasized about it, it seemed impossible and your first reaction when they told you he drove over a cliff was to burst into laughter.

“You guys are joshing, right?” you scoffed, and their faces remained unchanged, dead serious. “That can’t be right. He was with you the whole time. I saw it in Trent’s fucking pictures.”

“I’m really sorry, sweetheart. It’s true. We ran out of ice, and he said he was going to the gas station for more and never returned last night. We didn’t find him until this morning… we weren’t sure it was him until they got down to get him. That’s why we waited to tell you.”

“Ice? He went out for ice?” You gritted in disbelief.

“He was pretty wasted. We all were, but you know how he was, once he got something in his head…”

“That’s the last thing he said before leaving.”

“But we believe there was something else that I rather you hear from us than on the news. They found a bag with amphetamines and cocaine in his truck.”

“After he lost his job he was desperate and, we kinda knew that he was selling to-”

They kept spitting out information that didn’t seem feasible to you until you snapped.

“Stop, stop, stop,” you said stiffly, holding your palms up for a moment before getting up from your chair. “Everything you’re saying doesn’t make any sense. He’s many things, but he’s not a fucking drug dealer.”

Though it’d explain some things, you couldn’t believe Clayton had turned into that.

“You kinda knew? That’s bullshit. You either were fully aware of what he was up to or you two are the dumbest cops I’ve ever met. You just don’t – kinda knew –” you threw big air quotes at their own words.

“Hey!” Simon raised his voice for just a second before his partner motioned at him to have some tact.

“We know you’re hurting, sweetheart. It’s a lot to process, but we’re here for whatever you need. Clay would’ve wanted us to help you.”

A lot to process was an understatement.

You looked out the window and saw Shane’s jeep parked in the lot, and it dawned on you. It wasn’t an accident or a coincidence… It was Shane. He killed him. It was as clear as day. You told him about your fantasy of Clayton falling from a cliff the other night, and he made that happen. He murdered him in your name and these two clowns were obviously too stupid to figure that out.

It made you sick to your stomach to think about it and you had to fight not to throw up right on the spot.

“Do I need to identify the body? Is he…?” you couldn’t even imagine what he would look like. All you could think about is the last time you saw him when he grabbed your arm, that same arm you unconsciously were gripping to as hard as he did.

“We can take care of that. You don’t have to see him like that.”

You simply nodded as vile rose to your throat, “there’s a lot… If you could… I need to be alone for a minute.”

“We understand. Call us if you need anything.”

They left the office and the first thing you did when the door was closed was hurl everything you had eaten earlier in the wastebasket.

Beads of sweat covered your forehead and chest when you came out of the office. Your boss dismissed you from work and instead of going home, you went straight to Shane’s room for answers. What he said earlier about forgiveness of all the things he’s done suddenly made a lot of sense. He wasn’t talking about three years ago, he was talking about what he had done last night.

When he opened the door, your cheeks were already covered in tears, as rage just fired through your body. You couldn’t voice anything other than a “how could you….” as you shoved him back several times with all the strength you could muster until his back was pressed against the wall.

You didn’t have to say much cause he was aware that you knew that he indeed had killed Clayton. He fucking knew that sooner or later you were going to find out.

“Lo siento, mi vida. De verdad que lo siento…” (I’m sorry, my life. I truly am sorry…)

He wasn’t in fact sorry at all, he was sorry that he hurt you, but he wasn’t carrying an ounce of guilt from killing your husband in cold blood.

“He had to go. I’m sorry. I couldn’t just let him hurt you again, you gotta know that.”

“No. You’re not putting this on me. You did that cause you’re a selfish piece of shit. I shouldn’t’ve…”

“C’mon, you practically begged me the other day. Why would you tell me that you kept dreaming of him dying if you didn’t want me to do something about it?”

“It’s called being vulnerable. You caught me at a bad time and took advantage of it. I’m sick of men like you and him making the rules as they go.”

“I didn’t make any rules. I did what I had to cause you didn’t have the guts to kick him out of your life.”

“I had a plan… I was going to… and you…” you kept losing the ability to put your thoughts together.

“Babe, I don’t care if you hate me for as long as I live but, I’m gonna sleep tonight like a baby knowing that that asshole won’t ever touch you again.”

“Is that easy for you, huh?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t feel just one bit relieved that you won’t have to see him ever again. Di la verdad.” (Tell the truth.)

You shook your head, and swallowed the hard pill of his words. He was partly right. As shocking as it was, you knew that after all this, you’d be glad he was gone.

“It doesn’t matter, Shane. What you did was evil.”

“I did it cause I love you.”

“No, you did it cause you wanted to.”

“I didn’t wanna, I swear. For the first time… I didn’t wanna do something like this, trust me.”

“Trust you? I don’t think you deserve that.”

“You should go home and rest…. Once this is over you’ll see more clearly that this had to happen.”

“See more clearly? You’re the one with tunnel vision, Shane. If you can admit that what you did was fucking wrong, then there’s nothing else to say here. We’re done.”

“I’m not saying it wasn’t wrong. I know it was. But the only thing that matters to me is that you and your baby are safe. And if they lock me up for it, so be it. I don't fucking care. I wasn't gonna sit down and watch him hurt you again.”

“I… I really don't know what you expect me to do with all this. You killed, not just someone… you killed my husband. How can you sit down and pretend that everything will be fine? How are you gonna live with that?”

“Wasn't really the first time. I told you there was a lot you didn't know about.”

“That doesn't make me feel any better. I said I wouldn't hold anything against you, but this is too much, Shane.”

“I know.”

“No matter what he did, he didn't deserve…” you started but immediately realized you didn't even believe your own thoughts. He did deserve to die. Just not like this, perhaps. “Is there any way this could be traced to you, to us?”

“No, I covered all my tracks.”

“Are you sure?”

“Do you want me to give you the rundown?”

“If someone finds out…”

“Nobody's gonna find out. I promise.”

“Tú y tus malditas promesas. Sigues siendo el mismo cabrón.” (You and your damn promises. You’re still the same bastard.)

“Hey, mírame y dime, en tu corazón de corazones ¿De veras crees eso?” (Look at me and tell me, in your heart of hearts, do you really believe that?)

You glanced at him, but you couldn't focus enough to tell or understand what you believed anymore. Your head sunk into your shoulders in defeat before taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

“Was he really selling drugs or did you plant them?”

“I didn't plant anything. I have no idea what he was up to. I just followed him with my car and made sure he went…”

“How did you know where he was?”

“You showed me where they were in that photo the other night. Their dumbasses even tagged the location.”

“Did anyone see you?”

“So you want the rundown after all.”

“Just wanna make sure… I don’t know anymore… I don’t know why I care at all,” you tiredly held your forehead on your palms.

“Look, the less you know the better. They won’t come after you. I’ll make sure of that… but to answer your question, no, nobody saw me. I used a different car, I scooped up the place the night before and just waited… I thought I’d have to do it when they were all asleep but, when he got into his truck I saw my chance.”

“Ya es suficiente.” (That’s enough.)

You promptly stood up as you were torn in different directions inside. Turning your back on him, your hand reached for the door handle. “You should leave town while you can. I won’t tell anyone… but I can’t see you anymore.”

“So this is it? This is how it ends?”

“I don’t know… I just can’t really look at you right now. You put my life upside down in two days, Shane.”

“I’m so sorry for that. I really am. But I hope one day you have it in your heart to forgive me… I… I won’t be going anywhere. If you need me, I’m just one call away, Corazón.”

You didn’t look back, didn’t even glance over your shoulder one last time to see him as you stepped out of the room.

Emotionally and physically exhausted you drove home as your brain switched on autopilot. The next few days were hazy and draining. As soon as the body was released for burial you got the funeral out of the way quickly. It didn't surprise you that it was ruled as an accident, with the levels of alcohol in his blood and the drugs in the truck didn’t leave room for questioning foul play. And the worst part of it all, and that Shane was right, you didn’t feel bad at all for his death.

Though Shane left the hotel you worked at, he stayed in town. You saw his car parked by the diner the day you returned to work.

He stayed away. More than once you thought he’d come up out of the blue and show up on your porch, and you’d be too weak to deal with him again. But He didn’t even dare to call or text again after that day.

It wasn’t until three or so weeks later, when you started feeling more like your old self, you began going through Clayton’s stuff. There wasn’t really anything you wanted to keep, so you threw most of it in the donation pile and called it a day. There was one thing though, that you couldn’t sort, and it was the storage cabinet he had padlocked in the garage. You went through every drawer and pocket to find a key to it, but there was no luck. Maybe it was lost in the mountains with him, you thought. Then, as much as you wanted to avoid that, you had no choice but to search the bag you were given with the personal belongings he had during the ‘accident’. There you found the key attached to his keychain.

At that point, nothing surprised you anymore when you opened the cabinet to find a backpack filled with prescription pills and other drugs you didn’t recognize. Along with it there was also some cash, a gun with a box of ammo, his work tools, a pair of utility boots, and a few magazines.

Perhaps that’s the excuse you needed to see Shane again, who fucking knows, but for whatever reason you picked up the phone and called him. Without going into detail about your findings, you asked him to come over to look at your car instead and he did. A couple of hours later, as the sun went down, he knocked on your door.

“I’m glad you called,” he said.

“Follow me,” you requested dryly, as you guided him into the garage. With the door shut down to the driveway, you opened the cabinet and showed him. “Can you get rid of this?”

“Is this yours?” He scanned the bag of stash. “Have you been hiding a side hustle?”

“No, asshole. It was his. I’ve just found it and I don’t know what to do with it. Do I call the police?”

“Don’t. Please don’t do that,” he pleaded. “I’ve been watching those two, you know his friends, and they were in it too.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause I know. Why do you think they were so quick to rule it as an accident? They turned him into his errand boy. He didn't just go out for ice, he was making a drop that night. Those fucking pictures they kept posting? Those are their alibis.”

Short of breath, you took a step back and leaned against the hood of your car. “I don’t wanna know any of it. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it. I’m tired of all this, Shane… I want it to be over.”

“Sorry… I… yeah, I’ll get rid of it.”

“What about the gun?”

He picked it up and made a thorough inspection making sure that it wasn’t loaded.

“I’ll take care of it too.”

“Wait, if it’s registered, shouldn’t I just turn it over or something?”

“Ghost gun. Has no serial number, see?” He turned it around and pointed at the side to show there was indeed no number where it was supposed to. “In normal circumstances, you could say you just found it, but in this case… I wouldn’t do it.”

“Got it. Just do what you have to do. Get rid of the cash too, I need all of it gone.”

“Now, hold on, there's like 8 G's here. You should keep that.”

“It's drug money, I don't want it.”

“Yeah, but you could use it for something good. Buy something for you or the baby.”

“I don't need it, I was doing pretty good without his money. I won't be able to use it without thinking about where it came from. I never took yours, I'm not gonna take his now.”

“Think it's for a good cause. Like it or not, he was her father, you could open a savings account for her. Don't let it go to waste, sweetheart. You might need it someday.”

“I… Sure. I guess you're right.”

“I could get you a good price on that bag too. I'm thinking about 5-”

“No, I don't want you to risk it. Just get rid of it. Burn it, bury it, toss it somewhere far away from here.”

“Are you sure? The Dixons owe me one, I could get them to–”

“I'm not gonna bend on this one Shane. I mean it. Stay away from the Dixons. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Alright, I’ll just get rid of it. But y’know I’m taking a huge risk getting this off your hands.”

“Oh.”

“So, are you sure you want me to? If they find me with this, I could get locked up again.”

“Ya empezamos… ¿Quieres algo a cambio?” You huffed, crossing your arms firmly over your belly. (Here we go… You want something in return?)

“No, I mean… I just wanna see you for a coffee sometime.”

“Told you, I don’t drink coffee.”

“It doesn't have to be coffee.”

“I’m too tired to do this again Shane. Do it or don’t. I don’t care. After you’ve put me through… no tienes derecho a pedir nada.” (You have no right to ask for anything.)

“Lo siento. Tenía que intentarlo. Can you blame me?” (I’m sorry. Had to try.)

“Yes, I can.”

“Okay, I set myself up for that one,” he huffed, and looked at the bag in his hand, and reiterated. “I’ll take care of this, don’t worry about it. No strings attached.”

“Thank you.” It took you a moment to say it, but you did. “So, you’re not leaving town. You’re not scared of being found out?”

“No, I’m not scared of being found out.”

“And what’s your plan now?”

“I meant what I saw the other day. I'm staying. I got a job at Jim’s. He’s letting me use the trailer behind the shop to save some money. And that’s my plan for now. Why? Thought you didn’t care.”

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“No? It seems like you awfully care a lot about what happens to me for someone who says doesn’t give a fuck.”

“I was just curious, Shane. You can just go, we don’t have to keep talking.”

“But I like talking to you.”

“I know you do. That’s the only thing you have over me. Every time you open your mouth… you’re just one step closer to…”

“What? Changing your mind?”

“It’s not a good thing.”

“As I see it, it’s the best thing.”

“Of course you do.”

“Okay, let me ask you just one more thing, and then I’ll go.”

“Okay, one.”

“If someone you loved was treated like you were–”

“Shane… don’t.”

“Lemme finish, please. If someone you loved was treated like you were, wouldn’t you do something about it? What if it was one of your friends? What if it was me… or what if an asshole in 20 years treated your daughter like that? Would you just stand by and do nothing?”

“That’s not a fair question. You’re playing on my emotions right now. Of course, I’d do something about it.“

“Then, why is it different? Would you kill for me if I was in danger?”

“That’s more than one question.”

“Would you?”

“I don’t know. I guess it depends on the situation. Once upon a time, if you had asked me that, I’d say yes, I’d have killed anyone for you.”

“¿Y ahora?” (And now?)

“No lo sé… I have something more pressing on my hands right now. I’m not alone anymore,” you glanced at your baby bump. “The difference between you and me is that I have to consider that what I do affects her.”

“Guess I should’ve thought that.”

“You should’ve.”

“We could still make it work. Maybe not now. But maybe someday when you can look at me again without seeing what I did. What do you think?”

“I think you’ve gone over the limit of questions you said you were going to ask, and my head is starting to hurt. But you know that I’ll never rule anything out between you and me. We’re both a lost cause. And if you really stay out of trouble and keep your word, who knows? Maybe one day I’ll change my mind.”

“That’s all I needed to hear, Corazón.”

Shane closed the backpack and slung it on his shoulder.

“Be careful with that.”

“Don't worry about me.”

His hand carefully slid on the side of your neck as Shane pressed his lips to your forehead. It lingered, once again making you feel as weak as the day you met him. It made you question whether to push him away or just give in to old habits. You've accepted that no matter what he did, you'd never be able to get rid of him.

You tentatively held his jaw between your palms, and stared at his lips for a beat before returning the kiss. It was soft and quick cause you didn't want to delve too fast and make it feel like a reward.

“I'll see you around,” you offered. That's the best you could do for now.

[maknaeswrld]

a life eluded | l.mh, h.js

wc: 6.5k

genre: soulmate au; reincarnation au; fluff; angst; poly!minsung x reader

cw: pov hopping; anxiety/panic attack mentions; food/eating mentions; Bee (I still feel like they need a warning); all soulmates are gn (they/them pronouns) for sake of future storytelling; past life memories in italics; please please let me know if I missed anything🫶

if you’re new here, start from the beginning: a life forgotten

Soulmates can be a painful thing. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to stop yourself from running away. 

Riley had left you with a hug, two phone numbers hastily written on a paper towel, and a promise to meet up soon. You and Lia counted off ten minutes before leaving as well, hopefully giving you enough time for Riley and any possible companions to be long gone.

You thought the idea of reaching out to them would scare you, but the more you looked at the numbers, the more you wanted to talk to them. You assumed Bee was the one that had yelled at your soulmates, drawing their attention off you long enough to make a break for it. 

They’ve been looking for you for a long time.

Riley’s words found themselves on repeat in your head, not letting up even slightly. How could they have been looking for you if they’d never met you? They couldn’t possibly have known you. But they still noticed your absence. Enough that it weighed on them, caused them to seek you out even without knowing who you were.

They’ve been searching for their ‘missing piece’ about as long as I’ve known them.

Their missing piece. Not a burden, not a hitch in all of their plans, not some unforeseen unfortunate circumstance. You were included in their future long before you even knew of your past, they’d been attempting to seek you out for far longer than you’ve been avoiding ever finding them. In their minds you were the final piece of an extensive puzzle. Their final piece.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you were typing both numbers into your phone and creating a group chat. 

Y/n: you didn’t tell me which number belonged to who so i just made a gc, I hope that’s alright.

Unknown Number: Who are you and how’d you get these numbers?

Unknown Number: shut up Bee, I already warned you about this. sorry Y/n, I was rushing a bit, this is Riley and the other number is Bee’s :)

Bee (Changbin’s soulmate): WAIT!!! YOU’RE MINSUNGS THIRD?! THE ONE THAT RAN AWAY EARLIER?!

Riley (Bang Chan’s soulmate): Bee istg

Y/n: uhhhh yeah, I suppose that’s me

Bee (Changbin’s soulmate): I would’ve run away too, those idiots are so loud

Riley (Bang Chan’s soulmate): you are actually not allowed to talk, I think the only person in existence that can rival Bin’s loud ass is you. the both of you together are my eternal migraine

Bee (Changbin’s soulmate): SHUT UP WE AREN’T THAT BAD

You couldn’t help the laugh that wells up in you at their banter, after that you fall into an easy rhythm talking with them. They understand you in a way you’re not sure any of your friends ever have. 

It didn’t take even two days messaging back and forth for the three of you to make plans to meet for coffee, Bee going on about how unfair it is that you met Riley already. You thought you’d be nervous, you spent the whole morning getting ready waiting for the nerves to hit. These were the soulmates of not just two international idols, but close friends to your soulmates who were in the same group. Everything about the situation should be sending you into a spiral of anxious thoughts, but instead you felt more at ease than you do going to dinner with Lia. 

“You look hot, where are you off to?” Your neighbor asked as you were locking the door.

“Coffee with some friends.” It felt too natural, the way friends rolled off your tongue. You hadn’t even met Bee yet.

“Be safe babes.” Your neighbor smiled, entering her own apartment. You weren’t close with your neighbor, but you always looked out for one another. Living alone wasn’t always safe, so having someone who would notice your absence was always a comfort thing for you.

The coffee shop decided on was a twenty minute walk from your apartment, you spent the whole time thinking over everything. When you had found out about your soulmates, one of your biggest concerns was the fact that there were others like you, soulmates of idols who knew who they were supposed to be with and couldn’t get to them. Or worse, that there were friends of yours, people who were the soulmates of the people you knew you had some cosmic bond with, people important to you that you’d never get the chance to remember. 

Due to Stray Kids popularity, you got to have your memories with your soulmates members, the memories of how close you were to each of them as well in every lifetime, but knowing they had soulmates, that you likely were very close to their soulmates, that you couldn’t remember them, devastated you.

And now you were meeting two of them for coffee. The memories with Riley had already started to slowly trickle in after the short time you spent with them in the bathroom, you knew more would start engraving within your deepest memories after more time spent together. The two of you were close in every lifetime, it gave you hope that everything would work out in this one as well.

“Y/n!! Run!!’” Riley laughed, hand holding tightly on yours as the two of you sprinted away from the lady chasing the two of you with a broom. 

“Get out of here, street rats!” The lady called after you. 

After several twists and turns to make certain you were securely away from any possible danger, you both sat against a wall to catch your breath. You started giggling, causing Riley to look at you as if you’d grown two heads. 

“What are you-?” Riley trailed off as you produced two small pieces of bread you’d managed to snake while Riley distracted the mean lady. Riley’s eyes lit up before laughter filled the space coming from the both of you.

You each enjoyed your pieces of bread, savoring the taste and the feeling of something on your stomachs, just sitting in comfortable silence with one another. 

You’d shared your whole lives running the streets, keeping each other alive and moving, and you always thought it’d just be the two of you, until Riley found Chan and your lives got thrown upside down.

You stared at the sign of the tiny rustic looking cafe. It was the type of place you’d go to every day if you knew it existed. Now that you did, you couldn’t imagine not regularly spending time there. You knew deep down, if all went well today, you’d be spending a lot of time there with Bee and Riley.

A bell jingled above the door as you pushed it open.The whole place radiated comfort and you felt at ease instantly.

“Welcome in, I’ll be right with you!” A cheery voice called from what you assumed to be the kitchen.

“Y/n! We’re over here.” You found a table in a small nook surrounded by books where Riley and Bee were sitting, drinks already ordered. “We didn’t know what you might like and Sage already knows our usuals, but we were waiting for you to get food.”

Before you could take one of the open seats between the two, a short person with a bright smile, freckles, and long hair brushed to a shine seemed to dance toward you, hands wiping at their apron, they reached one out for you to shake. 

“I’m Sage, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Their grip was firm despite the dainty tinkle of their voice.

“Y/n.” You smiled in return.

“What can I get ya, Y/n?” 

You order your drink, you, Riley, and Bee also putting in your orders for food, and just as fast as Sage had appeared, they’d disappeared back into the kitchen. Taking your seat at the little table, you took a deep breath before looking up, only to find Bee and Riley already staring at you.

“So like, when are you gonna finally meet your boys? OW! Fuck Riles, what was that for?!”

Riley pinned Bee with a pointed glare. 

“Are you avoiding your soulmates?” Sage asks, gently placing your cup in front of you and taking the last seat at the table.

You turn beat red at the accusation. “Not exactly.” You mumble.

“Totally is. They found each other young so they’ve had five years together already and now this one seems to think they’re going to ruin everything, even though Min and Ji already know about them and have been looking for them.” Bee stated, sipping out of their own cup. “OW! Fuck, why are you guys always attacking me!?” This time, Bee glared at Sage instead of Riley.

“Because you make yourself an easy target. Listen, Y/n, if there’s one thing I’ve learned while owning this shop and spending way too much time people watching, it’s that no matter how hard you try to fight it, you’re meant to be with who you’re meant to be with. That's just the reality. If you were going to ruin their lives just by them finding you, you wouldn’t be their soulmate. Simple as that. Min and Ji have been in here a few times with Chris and Bin, they’re good ones, I guarantee you could never regret letting them in.”

“Your parents made a good choice with your name.” 

Sage grinned, gently lifting one shoulder in a shrug. “It’s a fun name to live up to.”

With that, Sage disappeared into the kitchen once again. 

“They’re right though. I don’t think you could ever regret letting them in.” Riley smiled, reaching over to squeeze your hand.

“Sage doesn’t know the boys are idols, do they?”

The way they called all of them by names Riley or Bee would refer to them as instead of any full name or stage name struck you as odd. Either they didn’t know or they were the bands inner circle, that thought making a strange sense of insecurity rise up your throat.

“Nah, Sage doesn’t really do technology and only really listens to the radio their grandfather had is his restaurant. They know next to nothing about the idol world, which is why the boys like coming here so much, it’s peaceful and off the beaten path.”

You nodded, sipping your drink. You could understand that, especially with the boys being idols with soulmates, a quiet coffee shop with next to no attention on it is the perfect place to be able to have uninterrupted time together.

Shifting in your seat to look around the small shop more, you found yourself wondering what your soulmates thought of the cozy shop and its somewhat eccentric owner. What were their regular orders here? Did they like having a regular order or did they change it up? You found yourself wanting to know how they decorate their rooms, if they like to read, what they like to watch. You wanted to get to know your soulmates personally in this lifetime, not just what you know of them from every life passed.

A few weeks ago, a few days even perhaps, that would’ve terrified you. You would have found yourself thinking of Jisung and Minho, and these thoughts plenty, but you always shut it down knowing it was fruitless, you wouldn’t get the answers anyways. But now that was different, now they knew you, now they wanted to get to know you just like you wanted to get to know them. Now everything was different, and the two men you love of your memories have a chance to become the men of your present if you so chose. 

While losing yourself in the thoughts, zoning out the conversation happening between the shop owner and your fellow Stray Kids soulmates, your eyes landed on a gorgeous trellis made of wood and covered entirely of vines and flora, reminding you painfully of the arch and altar at your wedding to the two men in one of the very first lives you had a memory of.

“Do not fret, Y/n. No one is going to show up to ruin your marriage tonight, and even if one were to try I am almost positive Changbin and Bee would stop them before you even knew about it.” Sage smiled at you over your shoulder in the mirror, helping you lace up the back of your outfit. 

“My father disowned me because of this wedding, it isn’t entirely implausible for him to not try and put a stop to it.” You sighed, worrying your fingers.

Sage pulled the straps a notch tighter than they needed to go, causing you to yelp and stare at your friend incredulously. “None of that.” Was all that was muttered before you were released and spun around, Sage’s hands finding their way to your shoulders. “Now, you are going to get out there, you are going to marry both of your incredible soulmates, and you are going to let your very oafishly protective elders stop anyone who threatens a bond as beautiful as the one you share with Minho and Jisung. Do you understand me?”

All you could do was nod, tears already welling in your eyes, as you pulled Sage into a tight hug. “Thank you, my friend.” 

“Oh goodness, have the waterworks started already?” Bee teased, leaning casually on the doorframe. “You look great, Y/n. And if you’re ready, so is literally everyone else.”

Squeezing Sage one last time, you smoothed out the non-existent ruffles in your clothes before exiting the building, finding Chan holding a bouquet and waiting patiently leaning against the outside of the tiny cottage. When he looked at you, the emotions welling in his eyes were all you’d ever wanted to see from your father, and while a part of you wished he would have accepted your soulmates, you're more than grateful for Chan stepping up to such an important role.

“Are you ready?”

“More ready than I have ever been for anything.”

And with that, you were led out into the field, to the altar put together with wildflowers and plants, to your soulmates eagerly awaiting you to join them, to the life you’d never regret despite what your father anticipated. 

Because standing there under the floral arch, Jisung’s hand in one of yours and Minho’s in the other, you knew you could never regret them in anything for even a moment.

Minho watched as his lover paced incessantly back and forth in the cutie dorms living room. 

Bee and Riley had informed them that they were in touch with Y/n, their third soulmate, and that they were going out with you for lunch today. Riley refused to tell either boy where they were going, knowing Jisung would show up without hesitation and that Minho would just to avoid leaving Jisung alone in any way.

“What if they decide they don’t want us?” Jisung finally spoke the words that had been weighing on both boys since you disappeared a few nights prior, and even more so since finding out you’d been in touch with Changbin’s and Chan’s soulmates.

If you were in touch with the other soulmates, you could have found Minho and Jisung easily at any point. If you were in touch, one of them found you that night, which means you were likely mere feet from Jisung, as he had been with Riley. There were questions flying through Minho’s head at the same rate as he could see them in Jisungs eyes, but he had to remain calm for his lover, if they were to both spiral, no one would be able to calm Jisung.

“They’re not going to decide that, Sungie. They just found out they have two soulmates, you can’t tell me it didn’t take us a while to process that one too. They’ll find their way to us when they’re ready.” Minho pulled the smaller boy into his arms, pressing gentle kisses to the crown of his head.

“What if they’re never ready, Min?” The youngers voice was soft and shaky, Minho felt his heart break at the sound.

“We can’t think like that, Ji. Y/n is having lunch with two of our family at this very moment, if they were never going to be ready they wouldn’t have agreed to that.” Minho tried to ignore the shiver that ran up his spine at saying your name aloud for the first time in this lifetime, he tried to ignore the peace brought to him just by your name alone. His hold on Jisung tightening, his head burying in the youngers neck. “We’re going to be okay.” He promised, ignoring the persistent what ifs echoing in the back of his head.

What if Jisung was right? What if you were never ready? What if you never chose them because of who they are in this life? As much as Minho wanted to negate those thoughts, memories of lives that turned out exactly like that made him question if this would be one of them. 

His hand tightened around their wrist, trying to pull them back to him. “Why do you keep running away?!”

“Because I have to!” You cried, finally turning to Minho, your eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I have to.” Your voice breaking on every word.

“You don’t have to. You can stay with me, we can figure it out.”

“Figure what out? Minho, soulmates are not the end all be all. As much as I would love to just run to you, run away from everything but you, I have responsibilities. I can’t just do what I want, not in this lifetime. We’ve found each other, awesome, great, we’re still in two completely different worlds. You’d be better off trying to find the one missing from our memories, you’d have a chance to have a life with them, to be happy with them. Do that Minho. Find our third soulmate, forget about me, and be happy. Because I can never be, that’s just not how this life played out for me.”

“You’re telling me that despite everything, you’re not choosing me?”

“God why do you have such selective hearing?! I don’t get a choice Minho. I never did! I was born into the fucking mafia, people don’t get to just walk away from that simply because they found their soulmate. 

“Soulmates are a weakness just waiting to be exploited, you’ll live your whole life constantly looking over your shoulder, constantly in danger, because of me. Is that really what you want for yourself? For whoever we’re missing? Is that the life you’d choose for someone else? Because I wouldn’t choose this life for anyone and I am begging you to leave Minho. Get out while no one knows, get out while there’s no chance for them to know.”

“But I’ll know.” He hated how broken his voice sounded even to his own ears. “And you’ll know.”

Your eyes searched his, looking for any sign that he would listen to you, that he’d walk away and never look back. But all you found was a horrifying sense of finality.

Minho wanted to take it away, let you be free of this world you were forced into. He wanted to take your hand in his and never let go, no matter the danger that came with it. 

He watched as your face morphed from the helpless near tears girl into a cold and emotionless woman, and it terrified him that you had been forced to learn to shed all resemblance of emotion within a blink. 

“I will not ever choose you over my family in this lifetime, Lee Minho. Your life isn’t of importance to me and if you’re so keen to get yourself murdered trying to talk me into leaving with you, then so be it. I won’t come to your rescue.” Saying the words felt like driving a knife right into your own heart and twisting, the look on his face as his grip loosened on your wrist only adding to the immense guilt. 

Ripping your arm away from his grasp, you turned on your heel, head held high, tears threatening your lashes, and left him standing there.

Jisung felt like he couldn’t breathe. All he could do was pace around like a lunatic, and every now and again stop to stare at his hands. The hands that held you, the hands that let you go.

Every time he closed his eyes, he could see the way your eyes lit up, the way your smile outshines every star and sunrise he’d ever witnessed. He could hear the perfect harmony of you and Minho singing together, the way you didn’t miss a single syllable in any of his rap parts.

Jisung thought finding you would bring him peace, completeness, the sense of warmth he already knew with Minho, and for those few minutes he had you, you did. 

Now, Jisung figured just knowing you were nearby, knowing you were close enough that maybe he would run into you again would ease the pain in his chest at the memories flashing through his mind, but when Riley informed him that they were on their way to get lunch with Bee, and you, and refusing to tell him where they were going, he felt his heart shatter all over again. His breathing growing uneven at the idea of you being close enough to enjoy lunch with two of his closest friends, and yet nowhere near him. 

So Jisung paced. He walked back and forth and back again until he was dizzy, trying to rid his body of a pent up energy he had no idea what to do with. If he stopped, he assumed he’d collapse into a full blown panic attack, if that were to happen Minho would have to calm him down, and if Minho has to focus on keeping Jisung level headed, he won’t be able to grieve your absence too. 

Jisung knew he was spiraling, knew he wouldn’t be able to bring himself out of it this time, but he had to pretend he was okay, he had to let Minho spiral if he needed to, which means he can’t. 

He tried to distract himself. He thought of Minho, of the way he curls into him in his sleep. How Minho nudges his hand, silently begging him to keep scratching his scalp when Jisung gets distracted and stops for any longer than five seconds. The memories of how the late afternoon light filters across Minho’s features, making him look like one of those beautiful paintings Hyunjin talks their ears off about. 

But within these thoughts of his incredible soulmate, flitters in you. The way you had a habit of playing with Jisungs hands, he wondered if you’d still do that in this lifetime. He fell into thinking of the way you would stick your tongue out and furrow your brows when you focused too hard on anything, from washing dishes to sewing up a stab wound. He wondered why he had memories of you sewing up stab wounds, and which lives those were from, what you were like in those lifetimes outside the flits of memories he was gifted from the short amount of time he got to be by your side in this one.  

No matter how hard he tried, everything kept coming back to you. Trying to distract himself by thinking of his other soulmate would lead to memories of him coming home to find both of you curled up together, fragments of time stilled in his mind of the two of you, smiling at each other, at him. He knew he would lose his mind if he were to be forced to remember you in every single way and never get to experience any of it outside of those few minutes he had on the street.

“You shouldn’t have come here.”

Your voice was like a melody to his ears, despite the harsh words echoing from it. 

“Maybe you shouldn’t be here.” He countered.

Despite the racing of his heart, the familiarity of you, he had a job. One that required getting through you at any cost. 

“Whatever it is you were sent here for, think very hard, is it worth the cost of your life?”

Jisung didn’t really put a cost on his life. He was raised and trained for one thing only, to carry out orders by any means necessary. And, as if you could sense that in him, you shifted your relaxed stance just slightly, preparing for an attack, but softened your features. 

“There is more to life than what you know, little one.”

At the nickname, he lunged, but it was as if you knew exactly what to expect, perrying and gently placing your hand on his arm, sending the both of you headlong into forgotten memories and lives. 

Coming to, Jisungs guard flew up. He didn’t move, didn’t attempt to attack you, but he shut down every possible emotion you could try to gather from him.

“I can show you a better world. One where you’d be in control of your own life, where you’d have an answer to what is and isn’t worth the cost of it.” 

Your words were gentle, everything about you seemed to be gentle. You softened your stance, returning to the relaxed position, no longer planning to attack him or counter any attacks from him.

“If you give me a chance, I could give you the world.”

“I think I want to meet them.”

Riley shot up from their position sprawled across your couch, Bee’s mouth dropping open in shock. 

“Are you serious?” Riley asked, searching your face for any sense of unease or dishonesty.

You’d been spending endless hours with the two, they’d quickly become your closest friends, aside from Lia. You’d also come to spend a lot of time at Sage’s cafe, quickly learning they are very much a piece of your many lives as well. You were still unsure of how exactly Sage fit into the grand puzzle of lifetimes spent with the same friend group, but you knew they did. Your suspicions only confirmed with Riley and Bee’s agreeance of having Sage within their past lives memories as well.

“Y/n/n, I need you to be so for fucking real right now, do you actually want to meet them?”

You’d seen Bee get serious about stuff before, they weren’t all jokes all the time, but the way they were staring at you at that moment, you knew you had to give the complete honest truth. Bee was protective, and while that insane protective streak has since expanded to you as well, you knew without a shadow of a doubt they’d evescrate you before you had a chance to even think about hurting Minho or Jisung.

“I’m terrified of it, that hasn’t changed. But maybe you’re right, maybe it will work out.” You smile at your friends. “I think I’m ready to risk finding out.”

It didn’t take even twenty whole minutes to get a meeting set up, Riley and Bee dragging you to your room to get you dressed and ready. 

“Is it really a good idea to do this now? I mean, it’s really fast, don’t they want time to like, I don’t know, prepare or something?” You’d been rambling the whole time Bee sat on your lap to hold you in place while fixing your hair. 

“No. Because ‘giving them time’ only gives you time to back out and the last thing we need right now is Ji going into another spiral because he thinks you don’t want them.” You could practically hear the roll of Bee’s eyes as they finally got off you, surveying their handiwork. 

Huffing, you accept your fate as Riley forces an outfit into your arms and shoves you into your bathroom, pulling the door shut.

After getting changed and taking in your appearance, you had to admit, Bee and Riley were good. You’d looked hot, almost to the point of it feeling like it was too much. Taking a deep breath and hyping yourself up in the mirror, you open the door to find Bee and Riley lounging in the hallway, both looking up upon hearing the door open, Riley grinning and Bee letting out a piercing whistle as they take you in, high fiving.

“You’re gonna knock 'em dead, babe.” Bee winked.

You blushed, but couldn’t help the smile stretching across your lips.

“Alright then, let’s do this.”

Not every life went smoothly, not every meeting was practically gold and rainbows. But this one was. Childhood friends and also soulmates is nearly unheard of, most people couldn’t fathom growing up with the memories of every life before the current. But you had met Minho and Jisung at the ripe age of five, Jisung was the baker's son, your mom was looking for work, and you and Jisung were forced to spend hours upon hours every day together.

At first neither of you really understood the full depth of your shared connection, but when you both met Minho, and shared all the same memories with him as well, your young minds didn’t have it in them to care. 

Growing up, the three of you would learn the full extent of what happened, but you never had the disconnect from the memories, having your past lives almost completely integrated with your current. 

“I wish we could find each other young in every lifetime. It made everything so much easier.” Jisung muttered into your hair. You hummed in contented agreement, fingers massaging Minho’s scalp.

“Unfortunately, that’s not gonna be the case Sungie. Some lives will be easier, some will be harder, there may even be some we never meet at all. But at least in this one, we’ll get to love each other for far longer than we went without.” Despite his words, Minho’s voice was a purr and you knew without a doubt that all three of you, whilst scared of what future lives may entail, were perfectly at peace in that one. 

Riley and Bee had never spent so much time away from the boys. 

From the very moment Changbin found Bee, they were a permanent fixture within the group. Bee helped 3Racha write and produce, they were in the studio almost as much as the group, and if they weren’t there, they weren’t far.

Riley, from the moment of finally accepting Chan at least, was never far either. They would always be around, making sure all of the boys were eating, weren’t overworking themselves, taking in enough fluids. 

To put it lightly, the gap of their absences was almost painfully noticeable in the weeks they seemed to all but vanish. Ever since their lunch with Y/n, it’s been as if the two were ghosts in the skz household. 

Jisung knew they were still around, the lack of moping from either of his fellow producers was proof enough, but he hadn’t seen a glimpse of them for days, maybe even weeks. 

He felt as if his world was fracturing. Minho was working tirelessly on new choreography, Bee wasn’t around to help him with songs, Riley wasn’t around to make sure he was drinking water, all of his members were enjoying their break before the next comeback, and he was exhausted. Jisung didn’t know how to get out of his head, and he wasn’t sure who to ask for help from. 

He knew if he kept the pace he was at, he’d inevitably spiral, and that wouldn’t be any good for anyone. Jisung had decided to hide away in his room and sleep, it was the best answer he could come up with, but just as sleep was threatening to finally overtake him, his door burst open, a downright giddy Changbin standing in the threshold.

“I’m about to take a nap, tell me about it later.” Jisung groaned, turning his back to his friend before his friend could say anything.

Changbin, not having any of it, stomped over and ripped the blankets away from the smaller boy, lifting him out of bed, carrying Jisung to the bathroom, despite his protests, and threw him in the shower.

Before Jisung could complain, yell, or even get a thought in, Changbin turned the water on, drenching him in seconds. 

“Y/n wants to meet, get cleaned up and ready to go in ten.” The older boy said before leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind him, and leaving an absolutely dumbfounded Jisung to slowly register the words, excitement growing with his understanding. 

````

Weeks. Minho had been trying to get the choreography for the next comebacks title track down for weeks. Everything he came up with didn’t feel right, and when it did he didn’t think it looked right. 

Hyunjin and Yongbok had offered to help, they’d even stayed with him, learning new dances, so Minho could see how it looked with multiple people, for a fresh perspective. But nothing was right. No matter how much Yongbok would swear he thought it flowed well, no matter how easy Hyunjin picked it up, nothing was right. 

Minho knew, deep down, it wasn’t the dances that were off, it wasn’t his choreography at all. He knew it was nothing to do with anything related to music that was wrong, but the only thing he could translate the misconstrued emotions to was dance. 

He created new dances every day to give his body and mind something to do, something to take away the wandering thoughts and memories. He’d rather tire himself to exhaustion than remember how it felt to have you by his side. 

Minho had come to the conclusion that you were not going to choose them, and he couldn’t blame you for it at all. His hopes were up after he’d seen his only hyung work things out with his soulmate, but not everyone could find it in themselves to be with an idol. Being an idol was hard enough, dating one was a whole other demon of its own. 

Despite knowing he has Jisung, despite being overwhelmingly worried about his lover, Minho simply needed to mourn the lover they never had a chance with. He needed his time to accept the fates cruelty upon their lives this time around, and then he’d help Jisung accept it as well. 

So he kept dancing. For weeks.

Minho had always found solitude in an empty dance studio. The way the mirrors would be completely empty save for his figure, the silence filling a typically boisterous room, there was just something peaceful about a place meant to be filled being empty.

He was stretching, preparing for hours of working out kinks in his newest routine completely unbothered. He wasn’t even supposed to be there. They were on break, all of the boys were off doing who knows what, and they were supposed to be relaxing leading up to their busy season. Yet Minho was in the empty dance studio, all by himself. 

He was lost in thoughts, already hacking away at the parts he wanted to rework, mentally trying to decipher how to fix them, when the door to the studio was nudged open. His eyes shifted to the door in the mirror, finding his only hyung standing in the doorway, a small smile gracing his features. 

“You might want to put your plans for the day on hold.” Chan said without even greeting him. 

“Why’s that?” Minho asked, being unable to stop the quirk of his brow. 

“Because we have lunch plans. Are you sweaty?” 

Minho shook his head, “Just got here, I was stretching.”

“Great, put on street shoes and let’s get out of here, we’ve gotta meet Bin and Ji at the dorms.” Chan smiled, moving to grab Minho’s bag for him. 

“What’s the rush?” Jisung hadn’t mentioned any lunch plans with the other producers, but to be fair he and Jisung had been somewhat distant from one another lately.

“It’s a soulmate lunch. Me and Riles, Bin and Beebee, you and your soulmates.”

Minho nodded his agreement, very used to soulmate lunches, working on lacing his street shoes when he froze in realization. 

Him and his soulmates.

````

To say you were nervous would be a gross understatement. You were downright jittery.

Bee and Riley were positioned on either side of you, both steadfast pillars of comfort bringing an almost overwhelming sense of security. You would be okay, because how could you not be with them by your side?

You’d agreed to meet at Sage's cafe for lunch, it was mutual ground and low foot traffic. Perfect for essentially a first meeting with your two idol soulmates and, from your understanding, Bee and Riley’s idol soulmates as well. 

You were ready to bolt. Ready to full on leg it home and lock your door, never to come out again. Despite the peace of knowing three of your closest friends would be there, meeting them was still an absolutely terrifying concept.

The what ifs a plague playing on repeat. What if they don’t like you? What if you ruin everything for them? What if their fans find out? What if, what if, what if. 

But with every bad what if, there was also a good one. What if you fit in seamlessly? What if they don’t care about their fans finding out? What if they are as scared and excited to finally meet you as you are to meet them? What if, what if, what if.

You knew you could bolt. You knew that Bee and Riley talked big, but if push came to shove and you needed an out, they’d have your back and get you out. You knew you could turn on your heel and walk the opposite way and they’d text their soulmates an update, and that yours would more than likely be devastated.

It was the fact that you could that kept you from doing so. The idea of Jisung and Minho waiting for you, the mental image of them deflating after hearing you’d change your mind, the thought of them being upset due to your actions, pushed you forward, kept you walking, and you knew no matter what you walked in on, you wouldn’t be able to back out now. You wouldn’t be the one to break the loves of your every lifetime. 

Seeing the familiar shop, your heart was in your throat. There would be no turning back, no changing your mind. In choosing to meet them, you chose to give them the ball, everything would be up to them, and the closer you got to the cozy shop, the more you realized you were truly okay with that.

You were never actually nervous about meeting your soulmates, you were giddy about it. 

As you pushed the door open, letting the familiar sound of its little bell notify Sage of your arrival, your eyes found your soulmates in record time, both sat at the table under the trellis covered in flora and vines. Your breath caught at the smiles gracing both of their faces, and you knew.

Even though soulmates can be a painful thing, you didn’t think you’d ever be able to run away from yours again. 

a/n: ahhhhh it’s almost overrrr😭🥺🥺 this was gonna be a lot angstier and then it just, wasn’t. and idk what that’s all about but I like how it turned out lol. I dragged my feet on writing this part for actual weeks and then wrote like, 5k of it in two days, so I hope it was good haha! thank you so so much for reading, please let me know your thoughts!!🫶🫶🫶

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[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

Hey, its Ominoose, your all time biggest fan here. Blue time.

You're a patient at the hospital, his favourite, he's always possessive. A new guy joins the staff and tries it with you, either flirting or getting handsy. Blue finds out, gets possessive. Maybe coddles you a bit ?? Idk, just... Blue <3

Orderly!Blue Jones X F!Reader • Rating: 18+ pals Masterlist• ao3• want to be tagged? • ko-fi • request info •

A/N: Firstly @ominoose you are far too kind, secondly I'm sorry this took so long, thirdly I’m so sorry Blue is fucking insane in this. 

He’s jealous! He’s whiney! He's a warning in himself!

Warnings: overuse of italics, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex, cream pie, there's some power dynamics in here because reader is a patient, swearing, also I haven't proof read this correctly because I just can't look at it any longer, please let me know if I've missed a warning.

Word Count: 2079

________________________________

“It’s time to go in.” Timothy’s voice made you jump. He was pretty nice, for an orderly. He’d only started two weeks ago and already he had half of the patients swooning and making heart eyes at him. Just over the fact that he seemed vaguely kind, and not the sort of person that would push someone under a bus for the fun of it. 

“Oh,” you closed your book, lightly bending the corner to mark your page. They didn’t let you have bookmarks in here, ‘weapons’ apparently. Though how you could do more damage than a paper cut was beyond you. 

“Sorry.” You mumble as you get up from your spot under the tree, you hadn’t heard the pips which normally alerted you to the end of outside time. 

Timothy smiles and shakes his head. “It’s okay, no problem, I could see you were absorbed in your book.” His expression is soft, caring. “Is it good?” 

You nod, eyeing him with a little uncertainty. 

“It’s nice to see patients reading, I think it’s really calming, you know?” He smiles again, tilting his head to the side and taking a fraction of a step closer. “I’ll take you in,” he places his hand on your bicep gently, just to guide you towards the door. All the other patients have gone inside already. 

“I see you reading a lot, you must like it huh?” He says good-naturedly.

“There’s not a lot else to do.” You say softly when he looks to you for an answer.

Timothy laughs kindly, “Well, that and getting better I guess?”

“Hmm.” While he seemed harmless enough, you knew from experience that it was always better to err on the side of caution with orderlies, especially new ones. And even more so with ones that seemed friendly. 

He pauses, haunting your movements with the hand on your arm. “You know, you should smile a bit.” 

Ah. There it was.

You frown.

“I mean,” he blushes a little and runs his free hand through his hair. “Not like that, do what you want, of course. I just heard that smiling releases happy chemicals you know? Makes you feel happy even if you’re just doing the expression.”

Oh.

You look at him carefully, scrutinising for any malice and find none. You smile a little and nod. Maybe he’s-

“McCarthy!” Blue bellows from across the courtyard, his voice snapping against you like a whip. 

Timothy visually jumps at the sound of his last name, turning quickly, but not letting go of your arm. Blue marches over. His eyes seem brighter than usual, gleaming with a mad, impulsive energy that rolls off him in waves.

Timothy audibly gulps as Blue stops in front of him. 

Blue smiles, all teeth like a chimp bearing a warning. “What are you doing?” He says calmly.

“I, I was just taking them inside.”

Blue doesn’t even look at you. “Why?” 

“It’s, erm, it’s time to go in?” He shifts a little nervously. 

Blue leans a fraction closer, dropping his voice dangerously low. “Is it?”

Timothy gulps and nods, wide-eyed. 

“Take your fucking hand off their arm.” He growls.

Timothy lets go of you as if he’s been burnt, stepping back, holding his hands up in apology. 

Blue clenches his jaw, his shoulders pulled back and begins to stalk forward, closing the gap and removing the slither of space Timothy tried to place between them. 

“Blue,” you whisper, low and soft, as you brush against his forearm with your little finger. 

His attention snaps to you instantly, the tension leaking out of his expression. 

“It’s okay.” You nod at him, keeping your voice that same gentle quiet tone. 

He grabs hold of your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles before looking back to Timothy and giving him a glare that could have easily stripped flesh from bone. “Get back to your post.”

Timothy didn’t have to be told twice. 

He scampered back, rushing through the door and not even giving either of you a glance over his shoulder. 

You squeeze Blue’s hand back. “You’re not going to have any more new staff if you keep terrifying them like that.” 

He doesn’t listen to you, his muscles tense as he lightly traces the place where Timothy’s hand had been. “Why was he touching you?” 

“He was taking me back inside.” 

“And you let him?” He glances up at you with dangerous eyes.

You nod. In your heart of hearts you know he understands why you couldn’t refuse.

His grip on your arm tightens ever so slightly. “Why?” 

“Would you rather I had, and been put in solitary?” 

His expression softens again and he shakes his head ever so slightly. “He wouldn’t have dared.” He whispers, so quiet you can barely make out the words.

Suddenly he grabs your wrist, pulling you closer and pulling up the sleeve of your t-shirt so he can get to your skin. 

You yelp in surprise as he bites your arm, sinking his teeth into the spot where Timothy's hand had rested moments previously, before he soothes the spot with his tongue. Instantly you flinch back, but he holds you firm as he sucks a hasty love bite into your skin. 

His chin is a mess with salvia when he pulls back, his fingers digging into you. 

You barely get a chance to open your mouth, to intake a quick gulp of air before he’s yanking you towards him, snaking his hand to the back of your neck and forcing his mouth onto yours.

Despite the frenzied heat, the kisses are soft, careful as he slides his tongue into your mouth and presses his body flush against yours. He whimpers a little as you kiss him back, nipping a little at your bottom lip and pressing his warm palm against your lower back so that you have nowhere to escape to as he grinds his half-hard cock between your legs. 

It takes him a moment longer than you thought it would for him to stop, pull back a fraction, breathing hard. For a second you think he’s remembered himself, remembered that you’re both in the middle of the grounds with the asylum's large windows looking down on both of you. But the glazed look in his eyes tells you that he doesn’t care. 

“Don’t want him to touch you,” he mutters, tracing his fingers along your jawline. 

“I know Blue.” You say soothingly. 

“Don’t want anyone to touch you.” He kisses you again, three light, quick pecks to your lips. “Other people… they’re not careful. They don’t understand how to take care… they break things.” He shakes his head. “They’re not allowed to break my things.” 

You lean a little closer, closing your eyes and rubbing your nose against his. “I know Blue.” 

His kiss is harder this time, his fingers a touch too firm as he squeezes your jaw and holds you in place. 

You don’t mind though, don’t care as you feel his fingers twitch, his grip relaxing as you lick into his mouth. 

He pulls back a fraction, his warm breath hitting your cheeks. “Need to make you cum.” He mutters into your mouth, not giving you even a second to respond before he turns and marches back, further away from the asylum doors and pulling you along with him. 

“Blue!” Your book slips out of your hands and you practically have to jog as he yanks on your arm, moving with a frenzied energy to the large, old oak tree you were sat underneath moments before. 

He pulls you around so that you’re hidden from the asylum’s windows and pushes you up against the bark. 

“My book-”

“I’ll get it in a sec’ baby,” he murmurs, his voice almost slurred as he gazes over your body, taking every detail in before he drops to his knees. 

“I don’t think-”

“You don’t have to think.” He bites softly at your hip as he hurriedly pulls down your trousers and panties, yanking them off your right leg and not bothering to completely remove them from your left. “Just be good.” He mutters, his mouth thick with salvia. His fingers dig into your skin as he grabs hold of your right thigh and hoists it over his shoulder. Not even pausing before his mouth is on you. 

Your breath leaves your lips as a whine as he licks, broad, fat swipes of his tongue through your folds and up to circle and tease your clit. 

“Blue,” you gasp, grabbing hold of his shoulders so support as he repeats the action over and over again, digging his fingers into your thighs and urging you to buck into his face. 

He moans against you as you say his name, swirling an extra circle around your clit before he’s dragging his tongue back down and up again. Groaning as he completely devours you. 

The wet sounds are practically obscene, even without your building cries that you are trying your hardest to muffle, it would be obvious what the two of you were doing to anyone in the vague vicinity. But you quickly lost any residual thought of caring the second his mouth was on you. 

He pushes you harder against the tree, practically forcing you onto tiptoes as your right leg squeezes against his back and pulls him closer. 

He rakes his teeth over your bundle of nerves, chuckling at your little sharp intake of breath before he sucks on your clit like a man possessed. 

You moan loudly, throwing your head back against the tree bark as your legs shake and nerve endings are flayed raw with pleasure. He keeps sucking, grinding his face against you as he pulls your orgasm from your body, giving you little say in the matter. 

Your vision whites out for a second as your back arches, your fingers digging into and bruising his skin.

You barely have a moment to recover, the aftershock still running along your limbs as he pulls your leg from his shoulder and moves back. You nearly stumble for a second, weak without his support, but then his hands are around your thighs and spreading you wide as he pushes inside. 

He groans as you gasp in surprise, grinning at the way your eyebrows pinch together. He doesn’t give you a moment to adjust, just presses until he is completely sheathed, his length splitting you wide open. 

“Fuccck…” he moans and bucks shallowly, once, twice, before really starting to move. Setting a brutal, frantic pace that has you holding onto him for dear life as sparks of pleasure coil and glide out from your core. 

“You take me so good baby, so good for me,” he kisses you hard, nuzzling into your cheek and neck as he pounds into you in a frenzy. 

It’s like he has you memorised, every spot to make you scream, and cry, and beg for more, as he hits deliciously deep, angling his hips just so that you see stars with every thrust. 

“Blue,” you moan into his mouth, feel him grin at how wrecked you sound. “I’m-”

He changes the tempo ever so slightly and you practically scream for him. 

“That good, huh baby? Need my cock that much, hmm?” 

You nod, unable to form words. 

“Only my cock, yeah? Only me. No one else, no one else is gonna take care of you like this, no one else is gonna make this pussy feel so good, no one else is allowed.” He growls. 

You gasp, pleasure building to a dizzying high. “Please, gonna cum, please.”

He whines, biting his lip, his voice softening despite the sudden increase of his thrusts. “Oh baby please, please, I need it. Please cum on my cock, please. Need you to cum, need you to feel good, let me make you cum,” thrust, “please,” thrust, “ just me,” thrust, “ just me,” thrust, “no one else.” 

“Just you.” You manage to stammer out as bliss overtakes every thought, washing over you in waves and rippling across your very soul. 

Blue lets out a strangled cry as you cum, your walls squeezing him so tightly, urging him deeper and pulling his own orgasm from his bones. He buries his face into your neck and bites down, his saliva socking into your t-shirt as he muffles his moans. 

He stays close as you both recover, littering your face with kisses until you're giggling, and playfully trying to push his face away. 

____________________________________

Thank you for reading!

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[lavendertom]

The Neighbor Across the Street pt. 6

Mike Schmidt x Babysitter!f!Reader

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5

wc: 3.2k

warnings: none! basically pure fluff (as always, lmk if there’s anything i’ve missed)

summary: the neighbor across the street needs a babysitter, so you take the job, not knowing what’s in store for you as you grow closer to the siblings. AU where nothing bad ever happens at the pizzeria.

A/N: this is it 🥹 the ending mike and y/n deserve! everything in italics are flashbacks. i cried tears of joy writing this, i hope you all enjoy this well deserved fluff and fun 🫶 happy reading! btw… u might wanna listen to “yellow” by coldplay towards the end ;)

——————————————————————————

It probably wasn’t the ideal first date, but you wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Technically, you and Mike had been dating for about 2 months now, but he wanted to continue working on himself and focusing on work before deciding to officially take you on a date anywhere. He wanted to save up enough money to do something fun and be able to bring Abby with you guys. It wouldn’t be the same without her there and you couldn’t agree any more.

“Abs what’re you most excited for?” Mike asked, looking at her through the rear view mirror. You sat next to him, holding his hand as you looked out of the window.

“Everything!” she squealed with excitement.

“You can’t decide on one thing you are most excited for?” you asked laughing.

This wasn’t just a big deal for you, but Abby as well. She always wanted to visit an amusement park. The semester had ended a few weeks ago for you and it was Abby’s last day of school just a few days earlier, so what better way to start the summer. After your big conversation with Mike, the siblings also worked on their relationship with each other. It was not easy by all means, but they were closer than ever before. Mike felt it was fair that he did this for Abby after all they’ve been through. He knew how much she’d wanted this and he found a way to make it happen. Anything for his little sister.

“Maybe the big rollercoasters. Those look fun.” Abby said grinning.

“You aren’t nervous at all? What if you’re not tall enough?” Mike asked her.

“Y/n told me I was tall enough!”

Mike playfully hit your arm.

“Okay to be fair I told her I think she’s tall enough. Have you been finishing your dinners Abs?” you asked chuckling.

“Duh, I had to be tall enough to ride the big rides.”

You looked over at Mike, smiling, knowing he was the one who came up with the idea to get Abby to finish her meals.

“I don’t want to eat!” you heard Abby shout from her room as you finished up making some grilled cheese. It was something you heard often from her voice, so it wasn’t surprising. You were used to making a meal and letting it sit on a plate all evening to get cold until just before bed when she’d suddenly be hungry.

You put it on a plate, the plastic wrap already in your hands as you assumed she wouldn’t be eating it now. Suddenly the little girl was right in front of you snatching the plate from your hands.

“I thought I heard you say you didn’t want to eat now?” you questioned her as she sat down quickly.

“I told her that if she doesn’t eat, she can’t ride the adult rides at the amusement park.” a voice said from the other room.

“Is that so?” you stepped out of the kitchen to investigate further. You found Mike sitting in his usual spot on the recliner in the living room.

“They stay tiny forever!” he said once more for good measure, you noticed Abby began eating faster.

“What are you up to now Michael?” you asked as you stood behind him, your hand finding it’s way into his messy dark curls.

“Wow legal name and everything, am I that suspicious?” he said looking up at you.

His brown eyes were no longer filled with that hint of sadness and exhaustion you always noticed. They always seemed a little brighter since you started dating. It was something you noticed immediately.

“You’re not very good at this you know.” you had to hold in a laugh to not make him feel too bad.

“I got the tickets.” he said whispering, trying not to show how excited he was about this.

“Did you really?” now you had to try and hold in your excitement too, you didn’t want to spoil the surprise with Abby in the room right next to you.

“Yup, they’re for the end of May. So a little end of school gift for both of you.” you could tell how happy and proud he was for finally saving enough money to treat both you and Abby. He had been waiting for so long to finally say he had done it.

“Mike she’s going to be so happy.” you placed a kiss on the top of his head.

“I know.” he looked over at her, still scarfing down her food. “Thought I could use that little trick to get her to eat dinner tonight. I promise I won’t use it too often.”

“I don’t buy that for a second Mike.”

“I still have time to return your ticket you know-“

He was interrupted by your lips on his as you leaned over the back of the seat to reach him. It was short but long enough for him to get the point. Once you pulled away, you sat with your chin resting on the back of the seat, just staring at Mike still playing with his hair.

“Can I have more food Y/n?” Abby shouted from the table.

“Sure Abs.” you replied, still staring at your boyfriend, which still felt crazy to think let alone say out loud.

“Stop kissing my brother Y/n, it’s gross.”

“Abs you’re the reason this exists, besides I’m not even kissing him. Not anymore.” you got up, lightly ruffling Mikes hair, saying that last part quietly so Abby wouldn’t hear.

The car ride to the amusement park was long, but it felt like it went by in a breeze with all of the random conversations the three of you had.

Once you got into the park and found your way around, you realized Abby wasn’t messing around. She immediately found the biggest rollercoaster possible.

“You sure you’re brave enough Abs?” Mike asked her. He was clearly getting nervous about it.

“Of course I am Mike!” Abby was the happiest kid in the world, not an ounce of fear in her.

You and Mike followed behind her, your hands laced together.

“Don’t be so nervous Mike, she’s gonna love it trust me.” you said, attempting to reassure him.

“I know.” he sighed. “But what if she hates it?”

“Abby’s one of the most adventurous and daring kids I’ve ever met. You’re never gonna be able to get her to leave here tonight.” you smiled, squeezing his hand. “Are you sure you aren’t scared?”

“Yeah right… I could never.” he sarcastically rolled his eyes at you.

Abby absolutely loved the rollercoaster and you weren’t entirely surprised that Mike did not love it as much. The ride photo was a hit for you and Abby. Abby was having the time of her life, sitting with you, while Mike sat behind with the most terrified look on his face. You and Abby spent a little too long laughing at the photo, Abby making sure to mock Mike as usual. The three of you continued on your adventure for the day as you walked hand in hand with Mike once again, Abby following next to you.

“I thought you said you liked rollercoasters Mike?” Abby questioned.

“Yeah, like ten years ago.” he replied, his voice ever so slightly still shaking from the adrenaline.

“Mike you were only like 14 years old ten years ago.” you were still chuckling at him. “Stop acting like such a grumpy old man.”

“Y/n called you an old man!” Abby started laughing at your accidental diss.

“Yeah, old man is a new low Y/n.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” you tried defending yourself, but there was no coming back from this one.

“Mhm…” you knew Mike wasn’t buying it. You also knew exactly what he was fishing for.

Something you found out about the siblings as you continued to get to know them more was their ability to get what they wanted whenever they wanted it. They were both extremely good at it, too.

“Y/n! Can I pleaseee stay up tonight?” Abby begged you as you cleaned up her toys from the living room.

You looked at the clock on the wall that read 9:08.

“Abs, it’s only 9:08 you still have 20 more minutes to read or draw in your room.” you said, still finishing up picking up toys off the ground.

“Yeah, but I want to hang out with you!” she ran to the ground to latch onto your leg, not letting you move anymore.

“I know Abby, but your brother told me you gotta be in bed by 9:30. You can’t get up in the mornings when I let you stay up.”

“Pleaseee Y/n? Now that Mike is your boyfriend, you’re technically my mom now.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works-“ you were slightly embarrassed and intrigued that Abby really thought of you in that way.

“And if you’re technically my mom now, you can make up your own rules!”

You looked at the girl on the ground, still not allowing you movement. She gave you the most heart wrenching puppy dog eyes you couldn’t say no to.

“Alright, fine.” you sighed, smiling. “But only until 10, got it?”

“Got it!” she leaped off the ground, doing your special handshake with you as she got up.

You didn’t realize how late the two of you ended up staying up, it was now 11:30 and Abby was out like a light. The two of you were still on the couch in the living room. She looked way too cozy and you didn’t want to wake her up by moving her to her bed, so the two of you stayed there. You grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and placed it over the two of you.

It was moments like these you cherished most with Abby. She was probably going to be a pain in the ass to wake up the next morning. Mike was also probably going to call you at 7:30am the next day to come wake her up yourself because he “wasn’t the one who stayed up till midnight playing pillow fights with her.” Regardless, these moments were the best. You loved spending quality time with Abby as if she were your own sister. You knew how much you meant to her and if staying up till midnight with her is what makes her happy, you were gonna do it with her. Maybe not every night, but if she really wanted to, Abs always found a way to your heart.

At around 6am, a door quietly opened. The sun was just beginning to shine through the windows of the house. Mike set down his things before he walked towards the living room. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed you and Abby sound asleep on the couch. He quietly chuckled to himself, he knew exactly how the two of you ended up like that.

He couldn’t really be upset though. He knew how much Abby loved you and needed you to be there for her. He also couldn’t forget how lucky he was to have you as his girlfriend. The two of you became “official” just a few weeks ago, but Mike still felt like the luckiest guy in the world to have you by his side.

He sat down in he usual spot on the recliner across from the couch. You started slowly waking up as the sun began hitting your eyes from the windows. You rubbed your eyes as you oriented yourself with where you were. Through your still blurry vision you could just barely make out that Mike was sitting in his chair.

“Good morning Mikey.” you said quietly through a yawn, careful not to wake up Abby just yet.

“Morning babe.” he said with a small smile. “Let me guess, another sleepover night?”

“How did you know?” you said pretending to be surprised.

“Don’t worry about it Y/n. Long as you guys are happy, I’m happy.”

“Are you still going to make me wake her up when she doesn’t want to get up?”

“Of course I am. Still makes me happy to know Abs doing well when I’m not around, and I get to see you just a little longer before you have to leave for classes.”

“Well in that case, I’ll do girls night with Abby every night.” you were starting to get up from the couch, sitting up now stretching the sleepiness out of you.

“You’re too cute Y/n.”

“Mike, stop.” you buried your face into your hands. You had to be honest, you were still getting used to all this dating stuff. As much as his little compliments made you feel like prettiest girl in the world, you still didn’t know how control your reactions over them.

A small smirk was forming on his face.

“Make me.”

You looked up from your hands so quickly. You never realized how he was exactly like his sister. They both knew exactly how to get what they wanted. You got up slowly to not wake Abby, smiling and rolling your eyes, realizing you give in way too easily for these siblings.

You carefully walked over to Mike and squeezed yourself next to him on the chair (or you attempted to, it was more you sitting on him rather than the couch.)

You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you in closer. Your lips met his and everything felt perfect. It always did, it just felt right. It was like the two of you were meant to be, always and forever. After probably a little too long, you finally had to pull away from him. The two of you sat with your foreheads pressed together, admiring one another.

“How are you and Abby always so good at getting what you want?” you finally broke the comfortable silence.

“You’re just too nice to ever say no Y/n/n.” he brushed a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“And you and Abby are just difficult.” you said through a small laugh.

He pulled you in for one more kiss, the two of you smiling through it. When he pulled away he placed one more gentle kiss on your forehead. You let your head fall onto his shoulder, his left arm pulling you closer as the two of you just sat there. It wasn’t often the two of you had moments like this and you were both taking advantage of it.

“I should probably go wake up Abs now.” you said, wishing this feeling would never end, but you knew it had to at some point.

“Can we have five more minutes? Please?” he asked quietly, still holding onto you like he was gonna lose you at any moment.

And you couldn’t say no those brown puppy dog eyes that looked into yours.

You rolled your eyes with a smile as you leaned over to place a very quick kiss on Mikes lips.

“Y/n! You said you weren’t gonna kiss my brother in front of me today!” Abby said as she looked over with a disgusted look on her face.

“Your brother asked for it Abs.”

“That’s even worse, ew!” she gave you an unamused glare before running ahead of the two of you to her next big activity.

You gave Mike a knowing stare as he smirked back at you while you all continued walking. The two of you always found it funny that Abby was the matchmaker that got you two together, but now she could not stand the thought of you guys doing anything romantic. Ever.

After that, the rest of your day consisted of many activities including playing the prize games, riding tons more rides, and Abby forcing Mike on every big rollercoaster she could get him on.

Once you finally arrived at your final activity, it was like watching two kids in a candy store, quite literally. Abby’s eyes lit up as she walked into the ice cream store, she turned around to face you.

“Have you ever seen this many ice cream flavors in one place?!” she tried to contain her excitement.

“I don’t think I have Abs.” you said with a small laugh.

“Me either.” Mike said as he let go of your hand to begin inspecting every single flavor.

The two siblings spent a good half an hour in the shop just trying to decide what flavor to get. It was quite amusing watching Mike get so excited over ice cream. Out of all things, ice cream is what made him that happy. After everyone finally picked out a flavor (or more) the three of you left the shop to sit and eat your sweet treat.

“Today was the best day ever!” Abby said with a mouthful of rainbow sorbet.

“I have to agree with Abby on this one.” you said while poking at the rest of your ice cream

“I already want to come back and we haven’t even left yet.” Abby squealed.

“Hold it Abs, it’s gonna be a while until we can do this again.” Mike said.

“That’s okay, I can start collecting change so we can buy the tickets quicker!”

“Look at this little girlboss you have on your hands.” you said smiling at Mike.

“Believe me, I know.” he was already so used to Abby’s big ideas.

“I wish we didn’t have to leave already.” Abby said, looking down at her cup.

“It’s okay Abs, we’ll definitely be back before summer ends. Right Mike?” you looked over at Mike with your best puppy dog eyes, giving him a taste of his own medicine. He knew what you were doing. Abby quickly caught on to your idea and followed along.

“Anything for my girls.” he said with a smile.

“I am exhausted.” you said as you all made your way home, the dim moonlight shining through the windshield of the car. The quiet noise of Abby snoring from the backseat filled up the car.

“Pretty good first date, huh?” Mike said.

“More than pretty good, it was perfect.”

“Even with Abby here?”

“Especially with Abby here.” you smiled. “I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.”

Mike looked over at you quickly, not losing his focus from the road ahead of him.

“Me too.” he softly smiled, looking at the rearview mirror to see Abby fast asleep.

“How’d I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

“I ask myself the same question every day.”

You leaned your head onto his arm, starting to feel extra sleepy from the quiet hum of the AC and Abby’s occasional snores.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

You slowly drifted off to sleep after hearing those four words. It was all you needed to know, the worlds best little reminder of who you were doing it all for.

Mike looked over at you once again, smiling to himself. After he thought about it some more, today really was the perfect first date. Not the most ideal with Abby there, but after all, she’s the reason the two of you met in the first place.

Mike carefully moved his hand to turn on the radio, quiet enough not to wake you or Abby, but loud enough to keep him awake. The quiet sound of the song “Yellow” by Coldplay now filled the car. Mike smiled again, remembering that this song was yours and his. A constant reminder how Y/n would do anything for Mike and Mike would do anything for Y/n. A reminder for Mike that if he never mentioned this babysitting job to the neighbor across the street, this bond would’ve never formed.

An even bigger reminder to Y/n that taking the job from the neighbor across the street was the best decision she could’ve ever made. A decision that changed her life and the lives of two siblings who just needed a little extra love.

——————————————————————————

A/N: one final massive THANK YOU to everyone who supported this little series 🫶 i hope everyone enjoyed as much as I enjoyed writing. I plan on doing one or two more little cutesy fics in this same AU so keep an eye out for this :) until then, thank you once more. sending each and every one of you big hugs! 🫂

jules jewels 🤗

@balesita @universi8 @browneyedgirly93 @marsmallow433 @prongsprincessworld @ajlareads @k3nnlolz @louweasleymalfoy @chompwoman @wasabidottie @queenie-official @emmaishere432 @curasimp @nevvdrinksteaa @rcailleachcola @scribblesandsherlock @iheartyouyou @prosteticsynthesis @hotgothchick @novausstuff @1-akira-2 @starringo @planetevermore @cherriebat @bethsvrse

dedicated to @mxrvelouss for dealing w my delusions and also feeding into them by letting me write this. love u w all my heart 🫶 the peeta to my bread 🫡

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 4

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif by:@sh214

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

*! New warnings will be listed first !*

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: ~2.3K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Hi there! To those of you who have read and are still with me, THANK YOU! I love you all. I'm sorry that my chapters are taking longer and longer. Work has been a bit more hectic lately and I also just had some serious writer's block with this chapter. That being said, it feels a little rough and I apologize if its awful lol. But either way, thanks for hanging in there with me and please let me know what you think! Your comments make me happy!

__________

You groaned, stepping out of bed and drifting towards the bathroom. Your face was sticky and your eyes stung from crying late into the night. It was silly, naive, and frankly stupid… but sometimes you can't control how hard emotions hit. Seeing that Pedro didn't actually watch your video was a let down - to put it mildly. Obviously he's a popular guy. A star. He has better things to do.

You should be grateful he even responded to your Instagram message before. Even though it hurts, surely he has more interesting things to do than message someone like you. Just because you wrote a song and he said he liked it doesn't mean he owes you anything more.

So after a fitful night's sleep, you were utterly exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Luckily, it was still your weekend and you could rest today. 

More like spend the day wallowing in your self pity… you think, disdainfully at yourself.

Looking in the mirror, you notice your puffy eyes. There's some new acne, and a mop of frizzy hair on your head. After using the toilet, you step on your bathroom scale before your shower; a morning routine you started during years of dieting. Another 3 pounds. Up again?!

You look in the mirror, pinching your stomach with a sigh. I guess I shouldn't have had those cookies yesterday…

The food guilt creeps up as you think of the goodies you've eaten recently. Cookies yesterday, fast food the day before. You were bitter that you weren't one of those people that could just magically eat whatever they wanted without gaining an ounce. 

But you aren't, and you should know better. 

Frustrated with your appearance, you begin your usual internal debate about how to fix it.

Maybe I should go back on the diet…

But the diet caused you so many problems. Remember the stomach issues? The hunger? The lack of joy? Binge eating on cheat days until you were sick?

But! I lost so much weight!

Yeah, until you started gaining weight…

Maybe I didn't cut enough. People said I looked so good. I was *almost* skinny.

Maybe people would like me more if I was skinny… Maybe Pedro would like me if I were skinny. There's no way he would be with me looking like this.

These were the debates that plagued you for months… years… a lifetime.

You showered, tears beginning to flow again as you tried to push out the thoughts. He was probably just busy, but either way you knew you didn't have a chance. 

Your friends were right. You were an obsessed fan. It was… concerning, as they said. They pitied you when you felt sad about your feelings. Just find someone you actually have a chance with, they pushed. Someone real.

But... he did message you. Maybe he didn't even know you had an interview yesterday? Maybe he watched it later. You were being utterly ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway.

But what you didn't know was that Pedro felt just as disappointed. He wanted to be the one on your list. The one you loved. He went to bed just as mopey as you did and woke up just the same.

_____

Having washed away your bad feelings as best as you could, you gave Skipper a kiss on his little forehead and made some coffee while scrolling Instagram. You were nervous to see what people had to say about your interview, but you had to face the music eventually.

As you could have predicted, people were running through the potential suspects (or prospects, that is) who have brown curly hair and brown eyes. Some supported you and loved your interview. Others criticized you for being too chicken to show yourself. 

You weren't used to this level of attention, and you really weren't sure you enjoyed it. But you were grateful to have your two lives kept separate, your true persona still shaded in privacy.

What you did not predict, was a notification popping up from Pedro, interrupting your scrolling. Forgetting to breathe, you immediately clicked on it. If the message were food from the oven, you would've burnt your hand the way you grabbed it so fast. 

Perhaps I should've been a little more chill about opening this so quickly... Oh well.

Pedro Pascal messaged you: "Hey! I watched your interview yesterday. You did fantastic. I know fame is new to you and you're nervous, but you're a natural."

Your heart swelled. He did watch it!! He must have just been busy during the live stream.

You replied: "Pedro! You watched it!?! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me."

Pedro read your message immediately, but instead of sharing in your level of excitement, he was hit with a wave of confusion instead. She must just be trying to not hurt my feelings. She already knows I watched it.. unless she didn't even notice my name. Or she didn't care enough to look for it…?

He decided to play along with it anyway. "Absolutely, I did. I've had it marked on my calendar since the day it was announced a couple days ago and watched it as it was streamed live."

His response took you by surprise, and then made you angry. If he really watched it, he would know that they gave you a list of the people who watched it live. Why was he lying to you about it?

You started to plan out your response, maybe even send an accusatory comeback, but then you thought about it again.

Why would he lie about it? What would he gain by lying? He messaged you.

With this in mind, you instead chose to take a different approach. One better designed for fishing. One you had to be very careful about, so as not to reveal the fact that you looked for his name.

"Wait!? You watched it live? I didn't see you on the list. You're one of the few people I've spoken to who actually seem genuinely friendly and interested in having a conversation with me. I had sort of hoped you were listening."

There. That doesn't sound too revealing, right? Totally friendly…

Pedro opened your message and was met with both confusion, and something else he wasn't expecting. Hope. Did you look for his name??

Still, he wanted to address the confusion. "You didn't see me on the list? That's odd.. but I'm sure there were a lot of names to scan through. Maybe my name was just buried in that list."

You knew it wasn't buried. He was the only name you looked for. The only name you cared about seeing on that list, not that you'd admit that to him right now. But you also didn't want him to feel that insignificant either.

"There were a lot of names, I'll give you that. But I swear you weren't there. Were you logged into your account? Maybe your Internet crashed, or you missed part of it?"

Instantly he remembered the ten or so minutes that Oscar interrupted him. 

Oscar!

"Oh shit! That's it. Oscar barged into my house while I was watching it and I slammed my laptop closed."

"Oscar… Isaac? Wait, why did you slam your laptop closed?"

"Yeah, that's the one. And… I don't know. He just surprised me, I guess. It wasn't a planned visit."

Slamming your laptop closed is an odd reaction to your friend visiting, but okay, you thought.

"So you closed your laptop, and missed a few minutes. And that must have been the moment they pulled the list of viewers."

Pedro replied. "It must have. But I was there, more than happy to listen to what you had to say"

If my name had been on the list, would her answer have been different? When asked whether the man she loved was on the list and she said no, would my name have changed anything? Pedro wanted to ask you these questions. But he couldn't. Not only was he scared, but he also didn't want it to come off as some douchey comment that made you uncomfortable. He wanted to get to know you better, even if just as a friend, and he wouldn't let a silly little crush ruin that.

You sent a response that could be deemed as friendly or neutral, still cautious. "Thank you Pedro. I'm really glad you watched it."

He replied without hesitancy. "Of course. But, I am sorry that your guy wasn't on that list."

He sounds genuine. Not like he's fishing for information like everyone else on the internet. In turn, you decide to be playful with your response. Risky, but still not too revealing. "It's okay. It turns out that list wasn't as accurate as I once thought it was" you typed with a smirk.

"So maybe he was watching after all," Pedro answered.

"Maybe he was."

Pedro soon changed the subject, "I did enjoy hearing about your favorite things, though. You may know this already, but I love movies. Some of the ones you mentioned are a couple of my favorites as well. But as for your favorite books, I haven't read them, but I've been meaning to find a new book to read."

The fact that he was a reader made your heart flutter; the thought of him sitting with a book, his glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he stroked his thumb over his lip in deep concentration. You were overjoyed at the thought of him reading *your* favorite book and potentially having someone to talk to about it. Before you knew it, you had frantically sent multiple excited messages.

You: "Oh! If you read any of my favorite books we HAVE to talk about them!"

Second message: "AGH the first book I mentioned is my favorite, out of all of them. The ending blew my mind. And the characters were just so amazing! Well except for that one guy.. but I won't spoil that…"

Third message: "But my favorite character has the greatest lines!!! Sometimes I like to quote it but nobody else gets it. And the way the author describes the settings is so magical, it makes you want to be there."

Pedro caught himself smiling at his phone, wrapped up in your excitement, as you were finally able to talk to someone about your favorite book. It was adorable how happy you seemed.

He started to type a reply when you sent another message. "Shoot… I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away…"

"Who told you that?"

Huh?

"Who told me what?" You asked.

"Who made you feel like you had to stop talking when you became excited about your interests?"

His question took you aback, but your mind struggled to pinpoint the answer to it. There's been so many people that have told you that over the years. People you assumed were friends. An old crush who didn't like multiple text messages at once. Classmates who would complain or make fun. It was routine.

"Oh. It's not a big deal. It's just something I've heard over the years. But I also know how I get and I don't want to be too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to monopolize the conversation too much either. But hey, you didn't mention, what are your favorite books?" You tried to change the topic.

Pedro felt that protective feeling bubble up in his chest again.

"Over the years!? There have been multiple occasions?" Pedro shook his head, even though you couldn't see through the text. "I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel that way or said anything to imply that your interests weren't worthy of being heard. Fuck them. They should be thankful that you shared your interests."

They should be grateful to hear your beautiful voice get so excited. To get to see your excitement and smile, Pedro thought to himself angrily. He hoped he could someday witness you getting excited over your interests in person too.

"Thank you Pedro. But really, it's okay. I know I get a little… obsessive and crazy, especially with sending multiple texts, so I don't blame them. Haha. :)" you tried to soften the mood.

"I don't want you to ever feel that way with me. I liked hearing you talk about your interests."

You began to type, but Pedro beat you to the punch.

"In fact… if you'd like to talk more," he gave you his phone number. "Feel free to text me, or you can call me too. I like talking on the phone, but I know not everyone does."

Holy shit. Is this real life? Did Pedro Pascal just give me his phone number? And ask me to call him?

Truthfully, your introverted self really didn't like talking on the phone. But the idea of talking to Pedro, hearing his voice on the other end of your phone was too much to handle.

What you didn't realize, was that Pedro wanted it just as bad.

Your fingers danced over your phone keyboard, trying to find the right words for a reply. What do you say when the love of your life (that you didn't think you would ever have a chance with) gives you his phone number?

Pedro watched anxiously as the three dot-dot-dots of typing appeared and disappeared over and over. His heart was racing, and he began to worry he may have overstepped this time. 

Why did you give her your number? She's going to think you like her!!! 

But you do like her, you idiot, Pedro berated himself.

He ran his hand down his face, waiting for your response in agonizing suspense. But instead of hearing the pop of a notification, his phone began to ring instead, an unknown number displayed on the home screen.

Wait… is that her? Is she CALLING me?!

He answered frantically, practically dropping his phone in the process. 

"Hello?"

"Hello? Pedro? It's me.."

You heard him give a breathless laugh before answering with a gentle "Hi."

_____

Thank you for reading!! Let me know your thoughts :) More will be coming soon. I know this is a painfully slow burn lol. Thanks for being patient.

Next chapter! Here

_____

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon

[demetris-cocksleeve]

Kinktober Day 8

(A/n: Based on a request from @pawspurpaw; 'Italics'=thoughts) (let's just pretend it's still October 😅)

Reblogs are appreciated🛐

Hope you enjoy~♥️

Word Count:

Summary- What more can I say? You and your mate love the chase...

Navigation

Kinktober 2022 Masterlist

Warnings: Primal kink, Collaring, Brat kink, Hunter/Prey

Age Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Alec Volturi x Hybrid! Fem! Reader

---------------

Wind rushes past, whistling in your ears as you run through the forest, dodging branches and foliage. Your heart hammers in your chest in time with your feet pounding on the ground.

You can hear him behind you, but you don't dare chance a look. You push your legs to carry you faster as you try to keep your lead. He had given you a ten-minute head start, and this is all you had to show for it. He had only started after you a minute ago and already closed the majority of the distance between you by the sounds of it.

"You can run all you want, but you can never escape me!" HIs voice echoes through the trees, sounding out with a sinister glee.

'Shit!' your mind races as you take in your surroundings.

Trees on all sides of you seemed to close in as you looked for a place to hide. You knew he was right: you couldn't outrun him, but you could try your best to hide.

There! A fallen tree with a hollowed-out hole just big enough for you to squeeze into. Rushing over, you quickly slide in, making sure to cover your tracks leading to the log. You clamp your hands over your mouth as you try to slow your breathing and calm your racing heart.

"Y/n~" You can hear his voice call out, sounding much closer than before. "Where are you?"

You're sure he can hear your heart beating its way out of your chest. He has to. There's no way he doesn't; he's just toying with you.

Your hands are shaking with adrenaline, fear and anticipation pumping liquid fire through your veins along with a different heat that's curling in your gut. Sticks are snapping under his weight as he stalks closer and closer to where you're hiding. You know he's doing it on purpose too; knows you can hear as he comes closer and closer to where you're hiding.

Then it goes silent.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four beats.

You think that by some miracle he missed you. Your hands move from covering the labored breaths coming from your mouth to hold onto the petite leather strap around your neck.

Taking the moment to rest your head against the log, you can't help but pat yourself on the back. You finally did it, you won.

And then your arm is grabbed, and you're pulled from the fallen tree in favor of being pinned against a cold, hard chest.

"Gotcha," His cool breath fans against your ear.

"Go fuck yourself!" you spit out as you struggle to free yourself.

Your attempts prove fruitless as he effortlessly spins you around and all but slams you against the nearest tree.

"Well, you see, that's kinda what I was hoping you'd do."

Before you can protest about your back, Alec is pressing his lips to yours in a heated kiss and you can no longer bring yourself to care.

Your hands come up to tangle in his soft black locks as you press yourself closer to him. He nips at your bottom lip before hiking your leg up to press even closer to you. His cock already hard and pushing deliciously against your clothed slit in a way that has you moaning in anticipation.

Alec shifts to press kisses and bites into the soft skin of your neck, leaving marks that would surely leave a bruise -even if only for a few hours, damned accelerated healing.

Getting impatient, you drag your hands down, trying to undo his slacks. He pulls away from your neck, grinning like a madman, as he grabs your wrists and undoes them himself before doing the same to yours.

When you're both free from the restrictive clothing, he's reaching down to lift you by the back of your thighs. Using the tree as support, he pushes into you, fully sheathing in one go.

"Fuck, you're so tight, love-" His head drops to the juncture between your shoulder and neck as he sucks in an unnecessary breath.

Your hand is back to gripping the short hairs near his neck when he begins to thrust.

It's a rough pace that has you shifting up against the trunk with every thrust. The woods around you amplifying the sharp slapping noises of skin hitting wet skin. It only serves to make you want him even more, though.

You swear you can feel Alec in your stomach with how deep he's hitting. His animalistic growling mixes with your high-pitched mewling as he continues to pound into your tight cunt.

Your hips are beginning to ache with each hit of his, but the slight pain just seems to add to the pleasure. You can feel the heat coiling tighter in your core as you get steadily closer and closer to your release. You can't help but have a little fun, though.

"Is this really all you've got?" you breathe out. "I have toys that have gotten me off quicker-"

Your sentence is cut off by him gripping the back of the collar wrapping around your throat so prettily.

"Do you really want to finish that sentence, piccola ragazza?" Alec growls out dangerously.

You can't help the shit-eating grin that graces your features.

"Say what?" You bat your eyes innocently. "That my bright pink dildo fucks me better than yo-!"

You're cut off with a yelp as you're pulled away from the tree and pinned to the forest floor.

"We'll see about that..."

He starts to fuck into you with a renewed anger that has you seeing black spots dance in your vision.

"Oh, god~" Your eyes roll back when the new position has him hitting your g spot with each thrust. "Oh, god, right there!"

"Still worse than your stupid little toys?" He sneers.

"A bit," you manage to squeak out between moans.

With a growl, Alec's hand wraps around your throat, cutting off your air supply just enough to make your head spin.

"If you want to keep running that smart ass mouth of yours, I can easily fix that."

Your fingers are digging into his wrist as he keeps his grip tight. The lack of air mixed with just how hard he's thrusting into you has you spiraling towards release faster than you'd like to admit.

Your moans are coming out choked as he continues to slam into you, abusing your sloppy cunt with each hit to your cervix. Every brush of his cock along your gummy walls has you inching closer and closer to an orgasm.

The nails of your free hand are digging into the leaves and dirt below you, creating drag lines as you're pushed and pulled by Alec's grip. You can feel the tension building more and more in your core, threatening to spill over with every shift of his hips.

A particularly hard thrust sends your head back as a guttural moan leaves your parted lips. You let go. Your orgasm sends full body shudders through you as your soaked cunt clenches around Alec. The pulsating of your gummy walls sends you mate over the edge as well.

His head drops to the crook of you neck as he stills inside you, his cool sperm filling any place he wasn't.

For a moment neither of you move, just taking the time to bask in each other's presence and whisper sweet nothings to the other.

Unfortunately, nothing last forever and you have to break apart. There's a beat of silence as you head back to the castle before you decide to break it.

.

"You don't actually fuck worse than my bright pink dildo..."

And then you're running yet again.

[orcasoul]

Priceless

Summary: Takes place after Grogu leaves with Luke to train as a Padawan. The Razor Crest wasn't destroyed. Reader is/was Grogu's nanny. Din and reader are in love, although neither one has confessed their feelings at first. When Din leaves to track a bounty she stays at an Inn because the ship is too quiet without Grogu. She is abducted by slavers and of course our hero Din saves the day and makes them pay!

Warnings: Swearing, angst, graphic description of violence and torture, no use of your Y/N.

Italics indicate inward thinking.

You're jolted out of your dreamless sleep as the Razor Crest leaves the peaceful tranquillity of hyperspace to begin it's decent into Tatooine. Desert planets were you're least favourite to find yourself on. The immense heat, arid air and rough sand of these maker forsaken places were enough to drive even the most hardened survivalist insane. "Strap yourself in. We're descending." Din announced in a monotone voice. You shift to strap in while Din's gloved hands slip methodically over the many control buttons and levers. Watching him you can't help but marvel at the amount of sequences he has to remember just to land the ship. "Of all the planets for the bounty to hide out on he had to choose this dusty shit hole," you half laughed, half grumbled. "I hate sand." "It shouldn't take too long to track him down, a few days at most." Din informed you almost absently. He hadn't been himself since Grogu left to train with Luke.

When you first met him, Din wasn't a great conversationalist. It took a little while for him to warm up to you, and when he did you managed to slowly pull more and more conversations out of him, but you also knew when he needed to be left alone and respected that. But for the past three weeks he's barely uttered a word to you, except when it was absolutely necessary. Technically he'd spent most of those weeks tracking down quarries, but the days he was present were awkwardly silent. Gone were the moments of laughing together at whatever trouble Grogu had caused, gone were the moments where he would call you cyar'ika, cyare and mesh'la. (You'd never asked him what they meant, hoping that they conveyed some form of endearment, and afraid that if you questioned him, he'd abandon the notion altogether). Gone were the times where you would brush past each other and the contact would last a few seconds longer than necessary, gone were the moments of comfortable silence. Now all that remained are short sentences, grunts and nods.

You missed the little guy too and longed for Din to talk to you instead of allowing his grief to fester within. You wished he would ask you how you are feeling after everything that happened. Surely he could see how much you love and miss Grogu. But you also missed Din too and wished there was something you could do to bring him back to you. He was here but he wasn't here. Seeing the man you'd fallen head over heels for determined to suffer alone made you feel useless. All you want to do is comfort him. "I miss him too, Din," you offered again, hoping to get him to open up to you. Din's shoulders tensed at your words and you could feel the tension in the air thickening by the second. Unable to stand the silence you continue, "He's safe with Luke, you know that, right?" Din slowly turned his helmet towards you, lights from the cockpit controls reflecting off his beskar, making him look like a contemporary work of art.

After a few tense moments of silence Din sighed, "I know." You took that as a sign that maybe he was ready to talk. That hope spurred you on, "It hurt so much saying goodbye but we did the right thing, for his sake." You were met with silence. "And I miss you too, Din," You confessed. "You've hardly spoken to me since that day. You can always talk to me about him, I wish you would." "Mhhmm," was the only reply you got as Din turned back to the controls to steady the craft as it touched down onto the landing pad. After shutting the engine down Din abruptly got to his feet and marched out of the cockpit. "Well, that went well," You sighed to yourself as you hugged your legs up to your chest in the chair, leaning your chin on your knees. His angry departure crushed any hope of reaching out to him yet again.

Letting Grogu leave was the hardest thing Din has ever had to do. He missed his foundling every second of every day. The only times he didn't have time to dwell on the loss was when he was hunting. The familiar thrill of the chase and finally obtaining his quarry made him feel more like himself again. And as welcomed as the distraction is, it was always a short relief. The return to the Crest became painful now. He was used to grogu's excitable squeals and the way he would run to him or hold his arms out, and even though you'd still greet him, seeing you standing alone without the little womp rat in your arms made his heart hurt. It hurt so much more than he ever thought possible. Of course Grogu is safe with Luke and he'll be taught how to utilise his abilities with the force, but that knowledge didn't help to ease the longing and heartache he's consumed with every day.

Weather Grogu was here or with Luke, he is his son and always will be. But now he's no longer around and Din isn't sure how to process what he's feeling. He's always been a loner, never had anyone to care for. Then Grogu came into his life and turned it upside down in the best way possible. For the first time in his adult life he felt love. The kind of love only a parent can have for their child. He cherished him, protected him, and always put him first. He thought it couldn't get any better then you came along and taught him about another kind of love. A love so new and alien to him that he struggled to define it in the early days. A love that made him notice every little thing you say and do, committing to his memory every laugh, every sigh, every movement, every touch from you. A love that embedded itself deep into every part of his heart, body and soul. A love that yearned for you to be closer even when you were in the same room.

The bar you'd worked in on Coruscant was a dingy, roudy hole but your cheery disposition always made it seem brighter. Din found himself taking Grogu there for dinner most days while they were staying on coruscant while Din was tracking a bounty. Grogu was always happy to see you and you loved making a fuss of him, sometimes allowing him to sit behind the counter with you, when your boss wasn't around. That's when Din got the idea of asking you to accept a job as Grogu's nanny. He knew he couldn't keep risking the kids' safety on hunts and who better to take care of him than the woman he'd so obviously grown attached to? You'd jumped at the chance to care for the "Green Bean" (as you lovingly called him) and to explore the galaxy, the three of you settling into a comfortable routine over the past several months.

But now you had no one to care for and that frightened Din. He was afraid that you'd leave too. Any day could be his last with you and he couldn't face having to say goodbye to another person he loves. He'd always hidden his feelings beneath his stoic facade and inscrutable helmet, but there were times when he wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and profess his unwavering love and appreciation for you. But he was afraid that such a revelation would ruin the dynamic of yours and his stable friendship. He was certain you wouldn't feel the same way about him. How could you when you can't even put a face to him? When he'd done some very questionable things in his line of work. After all, bounty hunters have a reputation of being quite cold and brutal. He could live with harbouring what his heart felt while you were a part of his life, but now he knows it's only a matter of time before you leave him too and after the loss of his son, your departure would be the last nail in the coffin for him. So to make the inevitable easier to bare he kept his distance, tried his best to quash any feelings and lingering thoughts of you and only spoke to you when necessary.

If only he knew that for the past few months you'd been pining for him as much as he has for you. You've never felt a love this deep for any man before and it scared you at first. Sure you'd had a few partners in the past but they were boys that always proved to be just that: Boys. But this man captivated you the more you got know him. For a man hidden in an indestructible shell, he had no problem allowing his care and tender devotion to his child to break through, and over time that care and tenderness had extended to you. And for that and so much more you had fallen hopelessly in love with him. If only he'd known that.

*******

Ascending the ladder to the cargo bay you see Din preparing his weapons, ready for his next hunt. You hated seeing him leave now that Grogu wasn't here, dreading the solitude and emptiness the Razor Crest imposed on you the moment he left. Usually you and grogu would find ways to entertain yourselves around the ship and when on safe planets, you would both explore the towns and countryside. But you'd been alone with only your thoughts to keep you company for the past few weeks and now that the same situation is upon you again, you're not sure you can take it. You need to be around people, you need a distraction. So you'd decided to rent a room at a local Inn instead of remaining cooped up here and losing your mind. While Din is busy inspecting his array of weapons, you grab your backpack and begin to fill it with the necessary items you'll need for a few days; Clothes, toiletries, your data pad and credits.

"What are you doing?" Din asked quizzically as he turned to face you, helmet titled to one side. Without looking at him you reply, "I can't stay here alone right now. It's too quiet without Grogu. Everywhere I turn on this ship I'm reminded of him. I'm going to rent a room in town until you return." Din's heart sank to his stomach at your decision and his mind began to spiral. Maybe this is her way of saying goodbye, maybe she won't want to come back, maybe this is it. He began to feel the hurt he'd been trying so hard to avoid all this time, causing him to react the way he knew best; Put up a wall, act like the cold, stoic Mandalorian he is. "If you want to leave, just leave. You don't have to make excuses," Din snapped. Your eyebrows shot up in surprise at his harsh tone. "I'm not making excuses," You reply in confusion. "I just don't want to be here alone, again. All I do is think about how much I miss the little "Green Bean." Your voice cracked a little when you referred to grogu with the endearing nickname you had given him. "You keep yourself busy but what am I supposed to do?" "You don't have to do anything," Din answered coldly. "Grogu's gone so you don't have to be here anymore."

He regretted the words the moment they slipped past his lips. He didn't mean it, of course he didn't, but in his urgent attempt to regain control of his emotions and to protect his already fragile heart he decided to give you a way out. What he didn't expect in return was the sharp gasp and heart-rending look painted across your face. He could see tears beginning to glisten in your eyes, your bottom lip slightly trembling as you fought to control it. It had dawned on him in that moment that you had in fact stayed here for him and that you cared for him more than he realised and now he'd gone and fucked everything up. "You want me to leave?" you whispered incredulously. "After all this time am I still just a nanny? Do I really mean so little to you?" Your cheeks flush as hot, salty tears begin to fall. Your words cut a fresh wound into Din's heart. He wanted to say something but your clear distress had him frozen to the spot. How could he have been so blind? How could he have treated you so cruelly?

You took his deafening silence as confirmation that you indeed mean nothing to him, shattering your heart and encasing it in sorrow. "I stayed after grogu left because I thought we cared about each other. I thought we were friends, Din. I Guess I Was wrong!" you cried. Turning away from him your hurt began to morph into anger. "Open the ramp!" you demanded balling your fists. You had to get out of here, away from Din, away from the Crest. You'd lost the only two people you cared for and the pain was soul crushing. But as you began to walk away he quickly reached out and grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. "Wait.... please!." There was a desperation in his voice you'd never heard before. It doused the boiling anger that had been coursing through your core. You look into the T-shaped visor nervously, heart hammering in your chest. "I don't want you to leave." Din voice was almost a whisper.

The normally confident and collected Mandalorian had suddenly become an entirely different entity, unsure and vulnerable. "You don't?" you ask with one eyebrow raised, unsure of where this conversation is going but at the same time filled with an ember of hope that maybe he does care about you after all. Din lowered his head and released your wrist. "No," he sighed. "I never wanted you to leave. We... we are friends, cyar'ika-" "Is this how you treat your friends? Ignore them for weeks and make them feel unwanted?" you press, with your arms crossed over your chest, hurt evident in your voice. Din lifted his visor to look into your eyes and for the first time since you've known him you wished you could see him without the helmet, to see if his face would betray just an inkling of his emotions towards you. Din cautiously lifted his hand to cup your cheek, wiping away your tears.

You could feel your face reddening again, this time from the unexpected show of affection. Your breath hitched in your chest as you waited for him to respond. "I'm sorry," Din lamented. "I'm so sorry for the way I've been treating you. I never wanted you to feel that way. I just..... I thought that with Grogu gone you'd move on too and....." Din's voice shook slightly. He was obviously not used to being so open, so you decided to allow him to continue at his own pace, patiently waiting for him to express himself. "I didn't want to lose you aswell." His sudden and raw honesty struck a chord deep within and before your mind could even catch up you reached up, placing your hand atop his still resting on your cheek, to comfort him. How you wished that you could help him through the grief he's been caging inside himself. "I miss the kid so much," he finally divulged. "Not being able to see him, hear him, be with him, it's like.... like sometimes I can't breath. And I was so sure you'd leave too. That's why.... that's why I pulled away from you, so it would hurt less when you do."

Din's shoulders slumped slightly after confessing to you, as if a weight had been lifted from him. But this feeling of vulnerability was new to him and he loathed it. It made him feel weak, anxious and unsure. He hated exposing this side of himself. If he could have physically gripped these emotions and squeezed the life out of them he would. But worse than how he felt about his "weakness", was seeing how much hurt his actions had caused you. He never wanted to see that heartbreaking look on your face again, never wanted to be the cause of your tears and if that meant bearing his soul to you now, so be it! "Oh Din," you cooed, soothingly, "I was never planning on leaving. I can't imagine my life without you in it. It was hard enough leaving Grogu. The last thing I want is to leave you too." Din breathed a sigh of relief as your reassuring words washed over him, cleansing him of his doubt and filling him with hope. "I'm sorry cyare," Din repeated. "I should have just been honest with you from the beginning." "Well now's your chance," you gently encouraged while bringing his hand down to your side, fingers interwoven with his.

You're right. He knows you're right. It's now or never. Even if you don't feel the same way at least he won't have to live his life wandering "what if?". "I'm in love with you," he professed, suddenly finding his confidence return. "I have been for a while. I love your beauty, your strength, your wit, and I love how you love Grogu." You must be dreaming! Was he really confessing his love for you? This man whom you love unconditionally, who means more to you than the very air you breath. A man whom you never imagined would reciprocate your love. Your head began to swim and you could feel your heart-rate picking up as your emotions overwhelmed you, filling you with joy and elation. A wide smile spread from cheek to cheek as you stared straight into the place where his eyes are behind his visor. You gently place both hands on the helmets' cheeks and tiptoe while bringing Din's head down. You close your eyes and bring his forehead to yours, knowing exactly what this gesture means to him. "I'm in love with you too, Din," you beamed. "You're eveything I've ever wanted."

Din released a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding as your words sank in, warming every nerve, every cell, every inch of his being. He'd often imagined this moment. Imagined he would finally tell you how much he loves you and that you'd tell him you loved him too. But now this moment is here he can see how the fantasy pales in comparison to reality. Here you are accepting his love and giving him yours in return. It's as if his heart has finally began to understand what it had been missing all these decades. Din slowly wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you up to your tiptoes and into his broad, armour plated chest. The cold beskar cannot eclipse the warmth radiating from both his arms and his heart right now and you can feel the intensity of it all in the way he's now holding you. You sigh happily while winding your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in the crook of his clothed neck. Even through the fabric you can smell his unique scent, musk, leather, gunpowder, everything that makes him Din. The universe could end right now and you'd be happy to spend these last moments in his loving embrace.

Several blissful moments pass and Din delicately lowers you back down, Pulling his head back to look into your eyes, which are now glistening with love and adoration for him, his hands softly landing on your hips, while your hands hold onto his upper arms. Maker, how he wants to kiss you, rip his helmet off and kiss you! Maybe one day he'll get to do just that, when he makes you his Riddur. "So, you will be coming back, then?" he asks with a smirk. His helmet can hide it, but his voice can't. "Of course I will," you purred through the smile that seems to have taken up permanent residence on your face. "We have a lot to talk about when you return," you gushed. "And I hope we can talk about Grogu." The words came out almost timidly, afraid to upset him. "He means so much to both of us and I think it would be good for us to open up to each other about how this is really affecting us."

Hearing Grogu's name again brought another ache to Din's heart but now he knows he'll never have to bare this sorrow alone, that you'll be there for him and him for you. Somehow that assurance has already made expressing his grief seem less daunting. "Anything you want, meshla," Din hummed as he brought his thumb to smooth over the apple of your cheek. "Anything for you." You wanted to linger here for eternity, reveling in this intimate moment. But the universe will only give you so much of a good thing. You remember through your delirious haze that there's work to be done, work in order to survive in this galaxy. "Well," you begin while smoothing your hand over his wrist, "The sooner you catch your bounty, the sooner you can come back to me."

For the first time in his life, Din wished he didn't have to hunt down a fugitive. The excitement of the hunt and the satisfaction of the capture seemed insignificant now when all he wanted to do was hold you and tell you everything he'd been concealing for so long. But the logical and practical parts of his mind knew that living required credits, so as much as he hates it he knows he must leave. "Make sure to pack everything you'll need. I'll walk you to the town to find lodgings. Take this com so we can keep in touch." Din passed you a com and turned back to the weapons locker to finish his preparations. "If you need me for anything, contact me, anytime, okay?" "Okay," you reply, sidling up to him and pressing your head on his shoulder. "Please, be careful out there, Din. I love you." "I love you too, cyare," Din smiled under his helmet, leaning it gently on the crown of your head.

*****

The two smouldering suns had begun to rise as you and Din approached Mos Espa. Even though the dawn has just broken on the world the heat was already stifling. As you enter the town Din's soft leather clad hand settled on the small of your back, his head turning from left to right, checking for any signs of danger or unsavoury characters. Always on the alert, you mused while smiling slightly. This place seemed safe enough but the fact he's so protective of you makes your tummy flutter and you can't help but enjoy this new feeling of belonging, of being loved. As you both reach the main market street you see the vendors and traders setting up their stalls for another day of eking a living. "Over there." You point as Din's helmet follows your finger. "That place looks decent." You both stop in front of a small but very well looked after Inn. "The Lothcat Inn," you read while your eyes lit up at the cute picture beneath the words. "I love Lothcats. They're so cute I can't stand it," you chirped, your voice reaching a high pitch which in return earned a chuckle from Din. "After you...." Din gently ushers you inside, his hand not leaving your back.

After being given your keycard and dropping off your bag in your room it's time to say goodbye. You've seen Din off many times before, comforting Grogu and reassuring him that his dad will be back soon, but this time it feels different. So much still needed to be said, so much still needed to be discovered about each other and knowing that has to wait has you missing him already. You automatically squint as you and Din step out into the rising sunshines beating down without mercy, the surrounding Adobe brick and clay buildings bathed in a pinkish glow. The market is beginning to wake up. Street cries from hawkers, haggling and bargaining loudly fills the air, children running around laughing and getting under people's feet while their parents are distracted by the latest bargains, cafes and other businesses opening their doors to welcome customers. It's just what you need to keep your mind occupied for a few days.

"Do you have your com?" Din asks, a slight worry to his tone. "Right here," you responded with a smile, lifting your arm to reveal the com strapped to the inside of your wrist. "Good," Din breathed out in relief. "I'll contact you every morning and night to check in, but remember if you need me, if there's an emergency call me immediately, any time." Din's Voice relays the nervousness that is beginning to creep into his bones at the thought of leaving you here alone. At least on the Razor Crest he knew you were always safe. But he also understands that you need a change of scenery, so for your sake he doesn't object, despite his reservations. Sensing his obvious unease you hold his hands to try to soothe him, smoothing your thumbs over his gloved knuckles, feeling the cracks in the well worn leather. You tiptoe to reach for his forehead and Din brings his head down to meet you half way. Your eyes slip closed and you whisper, "You don't have to worry, Din. I'll be fine here, but if I need you I promise I will call you." The tension in Din's stance seems to alleviate slightly after the reassurance you just gave him.

"I'll be back in about three or four days, if all goes according to plan. I'll let you know when I'm close. I'll take the quarry to the ship, then come and get you." You feel the loss of his departure already and have to fight the lump threatening to form in your throat. "Take care out there, you hear me." It's your turn to worry now. "I will," Din promised "I love you." Your smile returned at hearing those words again. "I love you too," you cooed. Din slowly turns to walk away, your right hand still holding his for a few more precious seconds, fingers brushing against each others before they inevitably part. You smile lovingly as he takes one last look over his shoulder, then he's gone, swallowed by the growing crowd.

Part 2

[ladylynse]

Happy Halloween, and trick or treat, please!

I was considering asking for one of the other "duffel bag" prompts you didn't already extend, but I thought I shouldn't be a one-trick ghost who asks for the same thing over and over.

SO, instead I am going to ask for a prequel to the DP prompt "Danny returns Lancer's wallet". For whatever reason, I just like to cause Danny and Lancer trouble, and want to see Lancer's wallet in Danny's pocket. Whether that annoys or concerns Danny.

Happy Halloween! Something in between this ficlet and this ficlet it is! Since Lancer didn't know the wallet was missing in the second ficlet, I actually built this off the first one (“Danny, why do you have Mr. Lancer’s wallet?”), in italics below.

-|-

“Danny, why do you have Mr. Lancer’s wallet?”

“What?” Danny asked, not understanding Valerie’s question, but he followed her pointing finger and, sure enough, there was a wallet on top of his backpack, neatly flipped open to reveal Lancer’s driver’s license.

Youngblood was so going to pay for this.

And, okay, fine, it might not be Youngblood, even if Youngblood had been playing one too many pranks recently. It might not have anything to do with ghosts. It could be Dash or someone else acting on his orders.

Still, that did not make it better.

Danny’s parents might not murder him for real if he got suspended from school, but they would have him do his make-up work in the lab while they worked in the meantime, and that might result in him being murdered for real by one invention or another. Just. Accidentally. Which, in that light, strictly speaking wasn’t murder. What did that make it, criminal negligence causing death? That ship had already sailed.

Technically.

Not that he was going to tell his parents that, let alone any authorities.

Danny snatched the wallet off his backpack and stuffed it into his back pocket, hoping it wouldn’t seem out of place there. “This isn’t what it looks like,” he said quickly. Why did Valerie have to have such sharp eyes? Why couldn’t this be a class he shared with Sam or Tucker so they could help distract her?

“Uh huh.” Valerie wasn’t even pretending to believe him. “If Dash or Paulina put you up to this as some twisted sort of test to get invited to the next big party, they’re pulling your leg. Ten to one they tell Lancer if you don’t turn it in before lunch, assuming they’re not telling someone right now. And leaving it out in the open like that is just plain stupid. I know you’re smarter than that.”

Danny groaned. “That’s why I said this isn’t what it looks like.”

 Valerie raised an eyebrow. “Are you really going to stand there and tell me that’s a fake?”

Danny tried a smile, but judging by Valerie’s expression, it didn’t come across as one. “Would you believe me if I did?”

Valerie huffed. “They’re setting you up. I know their style. Just give it back sooner rather than later, okay?”

Danny might be set up by the living or framed by the dead, but that wouldn’t matter if Lancer caught him with his wallet and Danny didn’t have a better explanation than this isn’t what it looks like and I think I’m being haunted. The ever handy and only sometimes true excuse of ghosts only went so far, even in Amity Park.

“I promise you, I do not intend to keep this for any longer than I have to.” Danny didn’t want to keep the wallet at all, really. He’d much rather steal money from Vlad than Lancer, and Danny was pretty sure he already knew the closest thing to Lancer’s deep dark secret. Giving this back ASAP was the plan.

But if this was Youngblood and not a human’s prank, there was unfortunately a very, very high chance of the wallet ending up in Danny’s possession again. As in, after he returned it. As in, returning it a second time would be awkward, something he’d try to spin as a coincidence and Lancer might buy if he were feeling particularly gracious.

If Danny wound up with the wallet three times, he was screwed.

Which is why taking precautions would probably be prudent, even if it meant hanging onto the wallet for a little longer.

And skiving off biology to sneak home to dunk Lancer’s wallet in some phase-proof foam.

…That might come back to bite him, but if it did, that would be Future Danny’s problem. Current Danny thought it was a great idea to get Youngblood to stop doing this to him.

Assuming this was Youngblood.

If it was Dash after all, treating the wallet wouldn’t help, and there was still a half decent chance of it ending up in his possession more than once.

Eh, Future Danny’s problem. He was only going to figure out how to cross that bridge if he actually came to it. It’s not like a thorough examination of the wallet would tell him who had stolen it either way.

It…may not be a bad plan, though. If only because then he could make sure nothing had been slipped into Lancer’s wallet. Because that could be bad, depending on what that something was and how incriminating it was.

Danny couldn’t see right now how this could be Vlad’s scheme, but he still wouldn’t put it past Vlad if it wasn’t Youngblood or Dash.

“You’re not….” Valerie hesitated and bit her lip. “I mean, you guys aren’t…. You’re still okay, right?”

Danny stared at her.

“Like, your parents haven’t, uh, not gotten groceries or something when you need them, right?”

Wait.

Did she think—?

“Because if it’s money you need,” Valerie continued, her voice somehow even quieter than before despite the sudden rush of her words, “I can talk to my boss. Even if you get detention, it’s just for an hour, right? So you could start a shift after that. You could be the mascot. No one would know it’s you, so no one else will know it’s because of…this.”

“We’re still fine,” Danny blurted out. That was probably true. Jazz had gone grocery shopping last week, anyway, and barely anything had gotten contaminated since. “I should just…return this. Now.”

Valerie was frowning at him.

Great.

She didn’t believe him.

Actually, how bad that was depended on which part she didn’t believe.

There wasn’t a way to ask that wouldn’t make this worse, was there?

“So, uh.” Danny reached down to pick up and then shouldered his backpack. “Yeah. I’ll see you in math, I guess?”

“Don’t do anything stupider than you already have.”

“Can’t make any promises,” Danny quipped, but Valerie just pursed her lips and finally—finally—left, though that was more likely so she could make it to class before the bell rang than because she was finished with him.

Danny headed for the washroom instead of class, locked himself in a stall, and dug the wallet out of his pocket to get a better look at it.

Yeah, there was no mistaking it. This was Lancer’s wallet. It even contained a picture of his ‘sister’.

Crud.

Why did this kind of thing always happen to him?

(see more fics | related musing)

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

Sorry, Wrong Comms! : Hunter x Medic!Reader [Chapter 8]

Warnings and Information: Intended audience is 13+ (18 if you squint). Should know the drill on my use of Mando'a, italics and my headcanons for an AU fic by now if you've been following along with the series this far. Star Wars and real-world swearing. Story picks back up two days after the birthday party. Medic!Reader now has herself a new relationship ehehe~ There's some new sibling-plotting because Hunter's room is a sad, bland mess. Describing the layout of a house is tricky, bedrooms less so. References to medical paraphernalia and an injury. Hunter being a good big brother figure. Hunter is invited to have dinner at Medic!Reader's house (and passes Spoon's standards). Brief mention of the inhibitor chips a few times. Hint of angst. Hunter ends up staying the night with a hint of body worship~. Tender hurt/comfort material at long last.

Word-count: 6,556

The door chimed five minutes after opening, signaling her first patient of the day had just stepped into her medical practice. She ducked out of her back office, surprised her services were needed so soon. Usually it took longer than just five-after, but with the seediness of the travel-hub, there was no telling if someone had been foolishly arguing in the shipyards with the stern foremen who ran then. 

"Hello! How can I assist you this mor- Hunter?"

Clone Sergeant Hunter was standing in her clinic. Alone. None of his brothers or his sister was with him as he stood stiffly, just far enough into the clinic that the sensors didn't keep the door open to the street.

"Hey, mesh'la." 

He didn't look hurt with a cursory once-over to her naked eye, a healer's habit. "Everything alright?" This was confusing. He didn't seem hurt, or appear sick, but he was standing here in the waiting area of the clinic he admitted to hating. So she assumed, very much in-line with her job as she bore the shattered cross on her shoulder of the uniform, it must've been something serious that brought him here. "What're you doing here?" Maybe he wanted to get that second set of stitches out after all after asking to think about it from the other day after he'd messaged her on her lunch break. 

Wrecker, when you come back from the ship, please be sure to come in quietly. Crosshair has a headache. 

> Hey there handsome, wrong comms. Afraid I'm not Wrecker. Just lil ol' Miss Medic~

Oh, Maker… Sorry to disturb you while you're at work, [____].

> It's okay! I'm on lunch break right now, nothing to disturb other than my boredom. Been a slow day. What's up? 

"I… just thought I'd come and say hello. And," Hunter paused, swallowing nervously for just a moment as he looked over one of the bright red and blue pediatric chairs, "start challenging that discomfort of mine about clinics." There was an unspoken for you from the way his gaze softened and his brows un-bunched when he looked at her again. He'd given her a "flexible promise" when they talked things over on the night of her birthday as Hunter walked her home that he'd try being less avoidant and more open with her to make this new… relationship as of two days ago… work a little smoother. 

Stars, she couldn't help the surprise. The touching tug this had on her heartstrings. "Awh…!" Color bloomed in his face and neck at the sound, a twin shade to the bandana wrapped around his skull. "Here, come with me to my back office. It doesn't reek like antiseptic in there, I promise." They could talk in a stronger sense of seclusion back in her office, and her patients wouldn't think she had anyone ahead of them or that she was in trouble if they saw Hunter lingering in some far corner like those shady pirate smugglers once had nearly a year ago. 

She was glad those days were over when she was assured those pirates were encouraged to eat their blasters or they'd wish they had if they bothered her again. She was glad these new days as something a little more intimate and sweet were just beginning. She'd be spending a lot more time with the Batch. If she wasn't careful, she'd find herself living with them in their housing before she even realized that she was spending less time in her own home. The thought of it made her smile, and it burned brighter as Hunter tentatively took the medic's beckoning hand and trailed after her like the tide after the moon through her clinic to the back office, a look in his eyes so distant, like he was focused on a star far out in the great expanse of space out of a viewport in the cockpit of the Marauder. 

Hunter didn't like to be here, he never came here alone for kriff's sake, but even as [____] could see he was consciously fighting the discomfort by dissociating, she couldn't help ask the question building on her tongue. 

"You okay, Hunter?" 

He was trying as he promised; speaking the things he often left unsaid. Trying for himself, but her most of all. 

"I trust you." 

I feel safe with you as she popped open the door to the back office and let him step inside first. It smelled like one of the great forests of Kashyyyk in the enclosed, private space. Wood of the Wroshyr trees, the rich, fibrous soil, and oxygen-rich air that felt like unfettered rejuvenation after a stuffy cycle under nothing but oxygen-recyclers. He wasn't sure how she accomplished this (she had Tech to thank for the help), but it was a thousand times more comfortable than the rest of the stark sterility of the small health practice. 

I'm sorry for being avoidant for so long, too long as she started a second cup of caf in the caf-pot for him, pointing him in the direction of the most comfortable seat she kept in there for the patients when she had to break difficult news.

But at least I know without a doubt that I love you, mesh'la as he took the medic's offered caf-shot, the way he likes it, the way that doesn't bother his stomach, the way she recently learned, just for him. 

You live in discomfort, she told him in her own flexible promise that night that marked another year since her birth, another trip around another star in the galaxy different than the one she'd been born under, but that does not mean you have to be ashamed of it, or, let it stay that way. I can do things to help. Just have to use your words, big guy. 

I can do that, mesh'la. Just… be patient with me. 

"Now that I know what that means," [____] started softly, voice breathy and light with fondness, with a promise over the lip of her cup of caf, "I love you, too, handsome." 

Maker… was he lucky for it. 

Omega eagerly emerged from her room, fresh work of art in hand with bright eyes. "Where's Hunter? Is he in his room?" 

"No," Wrecker laughed from the snug dining table, a mess of bolts and screws sprawled on the flat top in front of him. "Hunter's not in his room. He's not even home." Though he didn't look up from the assorted parts, the expression glued to his face now was clearly understood by Omega.

"Did he go to one of the shops? Our grocery list has gotten quite long…" Tech mused, goggles hanging around his neck, thumb and index cradling his chin in a thoughtful caress as he looked at the household board. It'd only been two days since the party, how were they already out of blue milk? 

"Noooo. He's not supposed to, he's supposed to take it easy on his injuries still," Omega's voice playfully warbles with a laugh, "He's probably gone to visit [____]! I'll just show him what I drew later." 

"Whu- hey I wanna seeee!" Wrecker whined, abandoning his focus on the project. "How come Hunter always gets to see your drawings first before the rest of us?" 

"She's trying to get our bandana'd brother to put some karking color on his walls…" Crosshair yawned, swinging a leg off the sofa in a languid motion so he could sit up. "He's the only one in the house whose room looks like we just moved in. It's like looking at his bunk back on Kamino." Worse than that, actually. 

At least on Kamino, Hunter's bunk bore the crest of their squad in the center of the wall… Here, far from Kamino, there were completely bare walls in the smallest bedroom. No pictures. No crests. Just paint. A faded, dusty and soft gray with purple undertones that had been there when they moved in. 

It was like looking into the makeshift brig on Kamino. The one Hunter had been given a rather aggressive "oh that was just a "love tap", get up!" by a Shock Trooper's stun-staff all for trying to protect Crosshair, even as much as the behavior spurred on by the inhibitor chip upset him. Angered him. 

"You are not taking my brother anywhere! I don't give a damn Sith's left tit what orders you have! STAY BACK!"

Everyone had decided together what rooms they would take, based on the unique needs each of the men had. First and foremost, Omega had been given a room all to herself; the second door on the right side of the hallway, sandwiched between what became Crosshair's room at the end of the hall on the right corner, and Echo's closest to the common room. Wrecker and Tech had taken the biggest room since they didn't mind sharing, or a less than immaculate sleeping space. They'd all added little personal touches to their walls, save for Hunter. 

And Omega found that depressing. 

But for all the artwork she drew, none ever found its way on Hunter's walls with a gentle no-no, you keep it, ad'ika even if she tried insisting that it was okay if he kept it. 

"Really? He still hasn't put anything up on his walls?" Wrecker frowned, bottom lip drooping into a confused, worried pout. "Why… why not? We've nearly been here a year! Doesn't this place feel like home to him already?" 

"I theorize it's not because he wants nothing on his walls, but rather is afraid to put something on his walls for when he's experiencing one of his more severe headaches or ocular migraines." The worried frown melted into one of empathy. Echo had them on occasion much like Hunter, but hardly ever as severe. "Perhaps… small botanical prints would liven up the room, be less, er…" Tech stopped himself with a look at Omega's blurred figure. His sister enjoyed using the loud and bright colors one occasion for livening up their living space, but he didn't want to suggest that the reason many of those sorts of colorful creations weren't hung in commonly used areas was because they were garish.

Far from it, in his opinion. They just had an unfortunate and unintentional effect on the eyes of the marksman and the sergeant. 

Though the movement was hard to see clearly, it appeared Omega's left eyebrow lifted before she asked Tech a question. "Less eye-strain to filter out?" 

"Yes." Tech admitted simply. It hadn't been what he was thinking of saying, but Omega's guess was a good one, one he'd yet not thought of. Proud, Tech gave her a fond nod. "Less eye-strain to filter out. Very insightful, Omega." 

Two siblings made out the opportunity and immediately ran with it, much to his displeasure.

"Was the pun intentional, nerd?"

"Haha, "insightful", good one!" 

Grumbling lightly, Tech squared his shoulders at the tone behind the nerd jab. "That was not intentional. Merely happy coincidence. I don't see-" 

"Well if you put your goggles on, you would!" Echo called from the two-seater, lowering his datapad to break away from the screen (more encrypted messages with Captain Rex most likely) for a moment.

"Oh come now, Echo, not you too..." he whined, giving Echo a look that he hoped said that he expected better of the only brother willing enough to regularly co-pilot with him. 

Wrecker really did try to placate him, but unfortunately Tech's patience was thin enough that the additional remark proved too much. "Ah c'mon, we're only just teasing you, Techie."

He'd had enough and turned on his heel to go retreat to his room, set on temporarily locking Wrecker out. "Oh honestly-! SHIT!" Tech exclaimed, wincing at the sharp snap of his goggles as they slipped from his hands in efforts to quickly fix them back over his eyes. Oh kriff, that hurt… His right orbital socket was wracked with so much pain he hadn't heard one of his brothers had now gotten close to him and laid a hand on his shoulder to steady him as he was still staggered against the wall. Tech flinched, reflexively smacking the hand from his proximity. "Don't touch me!"

He could hear the flutter of paper as it was either set down or dropped. "I-Is he okay?" Omega stammered. Several sets of feet shuffled slightly closer, but only one of them invaded his personal space.

"Hey hold still, move your hand away, Tech; let me see." Crosshair clucked his tongue sharply, grabbing his brother's wrist instead this time so Tech couldn't skirt away, deaf to the protests. He didn't like the hiss of the inhale Crosshair made. "That'll leave quite the shinier, kid… C'mon. Let's take you down to the clinic so she can take care of that cut. While we're there we'll ask if we bother saving Hunter a plate for lunch." 

"I- a cut?" He couldn't feel any cut, or blood for that matter. There was a lot a pain, so maybe he-

"Tech," Crosshair warned him, each word coming out in a slightly stern hiss, "don't go touching it. There's no telling what's gotten all over your hands since you've been working on your projects this morning." He tried moving his hand from Tech's wrist to better take his brother's hand to lead him along, but Tech shook his head. He'd forgotten Tech didn't like holding hands with someone without the barrier of a glove in the best cases, and this was not the best case since he'd reacted poorly to his brothers' teasing; he was not in the mood for it. "N-no. Absolutely not." 

The hand returned around the wrist. "Alright, sorry Tech." Crosshair looked at Omega, who'd opened the front door for them. "We'll say hi to [____] for everyone." he promised her as he led a bitterly grumbling Tech behind him.

Hunter's hearty chuckle at the medic's joke was cut short in a muted choke of shock at the sensor to the door chiming before the sharp swish as it opened. They were just getting back to talking after [____] had settled a return of a patient's prescription canister of mild antibiotics they no longer needed for their malady. He had hoped that they'd pick up the "conversation" they were previously floating by one another, just a trail of whatever came to mind mostly. 

Hunter hadn't been fully aware of the snarled growl of displeasure he'd made until she giggled softly from her desk. "That going to be a regular thing every time you visit me at work, Hunter? Getting jealous when someone needs my attention?"

Before Hunter could retort to the teasing, and it was just teasing, he could hear Crosshair's voice out in the waiting room. [____] could too, judging by the bemused grin. "I'm a marksman, I have good eyes. I'm not going to let you walk into a wall, Tech." 

There was a sharp scoff. "You did when we were cadets!" Tech protested indignantly. "So you'll have to forgive me for recalling the first time you tried to assist me ended with my nose bruising!" 

"Oh dear," the medic tutted, grin dropping sharply, "and here I thought perhaps one of your brothers came to see where you'd gone off to and weren't going to leave you alone. Came to tease you, or something. Sounds like Tech's gotten hurt…" [____] got up, coming around her desk and exiting her office quickly. Hunter followed after, hearing her heart skip with worry. "What happened, boys?" 

Tech wrenched his hand from Crosshair's grasp and blindly clawed the air ahead of himself at the sound of her voice. "[____], there you are," he smiled triumphantly when she found his elbow to guide him to sit in a chair, not clearly seeing the wince when she looked over his blossoming black eye, "I know you'll be honest with me; I do not trust Cross to tell me the truth currently. Am I bleeding or not?" 

[____] exchanged a little look with the snarky sniper that she had the sneaking suspicion that Tech couldn't clearly make out without his goggles. "Well what does Cross keep telling you? Mind the light-" she whipped the pen light out of her coat pocket and thoroughly inspected the orbital injury, tittering worriedly to herself, "oh Maker. That looks like that hurts."

"It does," Tech grumbled darkly, "and he keeps saying that I'm not bleeding, but there's a particularly tender area that feels like the skin has broken when I lost my grip on my goggles." 

The marksman just sighs, "I kept telling him not to touch it." He and Hunter share a look of knowing. Tech's sense of curiosity was a gift and a curse in equal measures. A boon and a burden. Endless entertainment for the brothers in the long stretches of hyperspace, or absolutely annoying when they were, say, trying to sleep. 

The medic lowers the pen light and takes both of Tech's shoulders. "You're not gonna like what I have to say," [____] warns the genius. "Crosshair is right about both of those points. You're not bleeding. And now we're going to have to use the stronger antiseptic wipes to play it safe since you've touched the surface cut. Only because I can't be sure what's all over all your little projects. Okay?" 

Hunter just smiles softly as Tech takes her words to heart without much offense, appreciative she was honest with him as always. "... okay. That is fair." 

Crosshair takes a seat near Tech, stretching his legs out in front of him, ankles crossed. "How'd he get hurt?" Hunter asks, bobbing his head at the marksman while [____] stepped into one of the small examination rooms to get what she needed. "He lost his grip on his goggles trying to pull them back on quickly. We took it too far with the teasing and he got upset…" Cross admitted softly, shaking his head shamefully before Hunter would have had the chance to scold. But Hunter only frowned softly, eyes sweeping from brother to brother. 

It'd thankfully been a long time since Tech had been so badly teased by his brothers he was sulking silently. "Who is "we", this time?" The last time had been started by Wrecker, almost a year and a half ago, and the two brothers hadn't talked to each other for a week no matter how earnestly and sincerely Wrecker apologized for his slights. Maker, it'd killed Wrecker to have Tech so upset him. Hunter wished he could have resolved the old matter differently now; handled it more like a brother, and less like a leader. He could only try to be better now. "Mind telling me what happened so I understand?"

Cross volunteered, voice soft, "I started it. Wrecker and Echo joined in… Made fun of him for not wearing his goggles because-"  

"Omega has more drawings she wishes to share with you, Hunter." Tech cuts in, and his voice has less of a bitter tone, but still rather terse. It's a confusing interruption. 

"Oh?"

"She's worried about the state of your room. It's too plain." 

Hunter sighed softly and took a seat between Crosshair and Tech, all three telling [____] it was no problem that she had to take an emergency call in her back office, dropping off the items she'd need for Tech with them and apologetically promising to be ready to help soon. "It's okay, mesh'la… Yeah, I know Omega is; I agree with her on that." Tech turned sideways in the waiting room chair and did his best to meet Hunter's eye, which just tugged at Hunter's heart seeing Tech's injury so close now, thankful it was minor. "I haven't been sure where to start. So… if you have some kind of plan, I'm all ears." 

Tech blinked in surprise. "You mean it…?"

"Tech." Hunter murmured softly, nodding his head in the direction of the back office with a lazy grin where he could hear her wrapping up the emergency call advising the patient they needed to seek out a clinic with a bacta tank and regretfully had no such thing herself, "If I wasn't sure where I should start with something big like telling her how I feel, of course I mean it."

In the back office, [____] had set down the communicator and spent a minute tidying up her desk by moving Hunter's empty mug of caf from its precarious perch to stall for time. She could make out just enough of their conversation to tell that Hunter was having yet another tender moment with his brothers that she didn't dare interrupt.

She respected and admired Hunter's efforts to take care of his family to the best of his abilities.

It's part of what made her love him, after all.

Come on… he's spent hours in position before waiting for his quarry, but this was agony. Hunter sighed sharply, drumming his fingers into the tabletop with a grimace as he tried returning his attention to the catalog of various paint samples [____] had loaned him. Page after page filled with soothing colors she'd considered for her clinic that she sent home with him when he returned with Crosshair and Tech once she'd treated the orbital injury. 

"I can hear you out in the lobby better than you think, handsome. Go home, have some lunch while Tech spells out some master plan; tell the others I said hello, too. You can tell me how it all goes over dinner at my place tonight… if you're interested?" 

He hadn't even hesitated, even slightly, when he asked "What time do you plan on closing the clinic today so I can take you home?" and ignored how both his brothers snickered behind his back. 

He couldn't focus. He'd much rather be jogging down that shortcut between the high-rises and reach the clinic doors just as she stepped outside to lock up for the night, calling out that Echo was in charge until he got back. Now that Hunter had finally told her, and [____] reciprocated how he felt, he couldn't stop thinking how light and freeing it had become… "Staring at the time won't make it go any faster, Hunter." 

He just smiled softly, not realizing he'd been staring off into the distance again since showering twice to rid himself of the antiseptic aroma that clung to him before giving the catalog a look. "I know, Omega…" 

"I wish it would too, though." his sister admitted, pushing a chair closer to join him and flip through the assortment of colors and all the handwritten notes [____] had crammed in the margins. Hunter gave his sister a curious look, wondering why Omega said such a thing. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Omega scooched her chair closer, burrowing herself into his side when he put an arm around her and pulled her closer. "Well...You used to be so stressed out all the time since… the chips activated. Things slowly got better when we met [____] and learned that we could trust her. You've been a lot happier since telling her… And I'm glad to see you so happy. We all are." 

Hunter said nothing to tarnish the moment, just allowing himself to sit in silence and return his sister's embrace. He always knew in the back of his mind his sister was highly aware below the surface of the rest of her personality, but there were always opportunities she surprised him; just enough instances of bombshell-revelations to keep the five of them on their toes. Sometimes it was scary just how perceptive she could be. Sometimes, like now, there was a pang of sorrow deep in his chest that she'd been worried about him. 

Yes, she was older than him, physically, and some might (foolishly) argue less mature because she lacked experience, but it personally didn't make sense to Hunter that she should have to worry about him. She should get to be a child while she has time… Crawling into someone's bed because she had a nightmare. Taking breaks from the important studies she had with Tech just to daydream out the window, or tinker around with her few toys, or doodle. Making friends and memories that weren't stained red with the stench of war… 

He should've shaved when he'd been in the 'fresher, he realizes when Omega's hand tenderly cups his cheek the same way she'd comforted every brother when they woke up from the process of getting those chips out of their heads with Captain Rex's help. Her little thumb brushes through the stubble around his jaw, her bright eyes scrutinizing his face as she looks at him and apologizes. "I didn't mean to make you sad…" 

"You didn't, ad'ika." Hunter assures her once he's made up his mind and returns the favor, cupping her cheek before affectionately ruffling her hair after checking the time. "Promise me one last thing before I go pick up [____] from her clinic."

"What's that?" 

Hunter pulled his sister snug against his chest, wrapping his arms around her. Omega was eager to return the offered affection, tucking her head under her brother's chin. "Don't grow up on me too fast, okay? I love you, Omega." 

Releasing one another after a moment, Hunter gathered his things and tied his bandana absentmindedly now that his hair was finally dry, "Let Echo know-"

"He's in charge until you get back, I know. I will!" Omega giggled, playfully pushing him towards the door while calling over her shoulder into the rest of the house that Hunter was leaving. "We'll be fine, don't worry about us. Go! Have fun!"

After years of the Kaminoan mess halls and GAR rations, it mattered very little what one put in front of Hunter for a meal. Was it seasoned with identifiable flavors, human-safe and appropriately warm or cold? Congratulations, it was palatable, the idea of it being "too simple" be damned! He completely understood that she'd be a little tired after the work she does in a health care clinic situated in a spaceport like this. The bustling travel-hub was always rife with those who needed her help, it was no surprise she would have a large assortment of ready-made meals tucked away in her cold-unit for the precious few hours she truly had to herself. 

Her precious few hours she'd sweetly invited him over to share and have some dinner together.

"It's okay; simple is good." She just grinned softly at him, laying the pre-packaged dinners she'd picked up most recently on the countertop after hearing his assurance. "Besides, I'll be able to tell you how everything went that much sooner." 

[____] laughed this time. "Oh boy. This oughta be good." 

It certainly was. It took Hunter most of dinner to explain through shared laughter how Tech had done a lot of measurements, somehow found the floorplan of their exact house and had been so dismayed that the room Hunter had taken was just barely larger than the cockpit of their attack shuttle. 

"He's threatening to find us another house, now." 

"Oh, Maker! How serious is he?"

Hunter just chuckles, stabbing another portion of salted vegetables and noodles before saying with a smile "It took quite a while to talk him out of it. For now."

Next he gets briefly sidetracked by talking about enjoying all the little notes she'd written in the edges around the pages of the color samples she hoped would be kinder on his eyes, and adored, yes adored, the flourishes she added to her handwriting. 

"It's so very… you."

"Well: now I'm curious about your handwriting…" she admits, biting back a smile behind the lip of her cup. 

"Hah, good luck. May need a translation key for my nuna-scratchings."

"Hush, I'm sure it's not that messy. I've seen the most atrocious handwriting from people in my own profession," she countered with a gentle laugh, "I'm sure it's far more legible." 

Okay, she had a point, he laughingly conceded before getting back on topic. Hunter briefly recounted some of the considered colors, noting that was about as far as he got before he’d come to meet her in front of her clinic’s door.

The longer Hunter and [____] spent talking about other things once dinner had been finished, the more Hunter noticed the steadily building ache in his head. It was brushed off easily enough at first, chalking it up to minor, probable causes, but the headache flared stronger not long after it began. Before long, Hunter was cradling his head in his hands when the medic had ducked into her kitchen to take care of the plates and grab something sweet to share.

Maker, what was making his head hurt so much?

"You keep grumbling to yourself in there," [____] called softly from her kitchen over the rumble of the sink as she washed her hands, "you okay?" 

"My head…" he complained softly. "Think I tied the bandana too tight after using the fresher at home..." His skull felt like it was being juiced, and it was deeply uncomfortable now, every beat of his pulse felt through his scalp. 

She set the dessert item down on the countertop and skirted around the table to come behind him, a steady hand on the upper arm of his left side. "Lemme see." With her right hand, Hunter could feel her try to gently tuck her first two fingers under the edge of his bandana, but could only comfortably fit her index before she would have been tugging on the accessory. [____] moves to inspect the knot, and he can hear that sad frown on her voice. "Oh blast sakes… that's a tight knot, big guy. I think I can do something to help with that, if you’re interested." 

Whether pain made him desperate, or it was an exercise of his trust in her, Hunter surprised her by how quickly he agreed to the idea. [____] leads on to her room, guiding Hunter with a tender hand. "In here. S-sorry about the clothes on the floor, Spoon keeps getting into my dirty clothes basket lately…" She hastily kicks what must be some undergarments under some other clothing before scooping it all up and dumping it into the proper receptacle. All he catches is a flash of her favorite color, too focused on the living Tooka currently curled around the Tooka doll. "Hah, speaking of my new little rascal. She's kinda adopted me and decides that she lives here now as of two days ago. Not exactly Crosshair's biggest fan." 

Hunter gives the skittish feline an inquisitive look, offering out his hand, palm up, with his fingers slightly curled to make them appear smaller and less threatening as Spoon took a curious sniff. "Didn't like my brother, hm?" He laughed softly when he received a tentative lick from the Loth-cat before she uncurled herself from the stuffed rendition and buckled her back before hopping down off the bed, deliberately sidestepping to throw her light-furred body against his ankle in a display of trust. "Cross can be a sarcastic little snot, but he's not all bad, I promise." 

[____] giggled softly. It was such a beautiful little sound to Hunter. She could laugh so easily and freely… 

Was it possible that Tech has some sound byte of [____]'s laughter, the same way his brother had several recordings of the joyous way their older sister could whoop with laughter right alongside Wrecker? She could make him laugh just because she was laughing so hard with Wrecker, sometimes… What did [____] think of his laugh? Did it sound natural to her? Would he sound as happy as she did listening to himself in some audio snippet tucked away in that maze of files Tech stored on his datapad? 

He hoped so. 

It was… hard to feel worthy of that happiness sometimes. He had his siblings to take care of. Memories of the GAR to carry for the remainder of his accelerated life; the orders he had to carry out. 

The orders he disregarded. Either because he didn't want to do them, or didn't think they were right. 

She'd caught him reaching under his bandana for that thin, pinkish mark that was the only proof of his inhibitor chip these days. That he used to have one like every other Clone. "Hey. Hunter? Did loosening it help any?" 

Thank Kamino's rains: she just thought he was adjusting his bandana after she'd tried loosening it for him. "Not sure, mesh'la…" he admits, voice a slightly frustrated huff. Loosening it usually helps, but there'd been little improvement. Guess it was just too tight for too long. 

[____] kicks herself up onto the mattress of her bed, patting the space on either side around her. "C'mere then. Lemme take care of you." 

Take the medic out of her clinic…

"Can that bed support two people?" Hunter checks, thinking of the way he saw other Clones, his fellow GAR soldiers and brothers, trying to find a way to squeeze on the same rickety cot after a particularly brutal campaign to find a semblance of security. Comfort. Familiarity so far from Kamino for the younger batches of brothers. And the too many times to count that Wrecker ended up just taking the thin mattress off the cots and the bunks and sleeping on the floor so he spared himself the lecture for breaking GAR property. "F-forget I asked… old habits." 

"Military beds are not that great for a, uh… cuddle, hm?"

"Not always…" Hunter admits, face flushing after he considered what words [____] must have thought of before settling for something so… wholesome. He gets up on the bed beside her, unlacing his boots and shedding his shirt before he tentatively lays down as she suggests. She wants to see if a massage would help with lessening his headache before she scrounges up one of the many over the counter painkillers she has here at her home. Hunter doesn't protest when she breaks apart the knot and lays his bandana on her bedside table, or when she begins to methodically muss his hair. He only hates that he can't comfortably look up at her when he's laying prone like this on his stomach.

She truly did mean it in a wholesome sense, he realizes when she speaks next. "Must've been just awful for poor Wreck… Big guy's kinda a snuggler through and through." 

"Yeah… Wrecker sure is." he agrees. He's received more spine-popping hugs than he'd ever possibly be able to remember. He's also received some of the most effective results of deep pressure therapy for the episodic sensory overloads with Wrecker's help. Many weren't sure why the explosive ordnance expert was so affectionate, but like hell he'd let his brother believe the behavior was bad, rather only the timing, in some cases. 

Her hands creep lower and lower through his hair from the crown of his head, massaging his scalp in sections. She sections off another portion of his hair on the right side, and her breath hitched with minor surprise. "What's-? Is that a scar from an old head injury…? Oh Hunter…" The bed below them shifts as she bends forward to get a better look.

Blast it. Maybe she doesn't know, he certainly can't remember with this splitting headache.  "[____]... Do-"

She hums softly to interrupt him, shaking her head decidedly. "No… that's too clean to be an injury. That's an old incision scar. Less than a year old, I would guess..." She sits back, tracing the old scar with a gentle touch before her hand plants itself on his back, her thumb sweeping over his spine lazily. "That's about… how long ago Crosshair said that everyone had the inhibitor chips removed, based on when he came to my clinic to get some advice." [____] sweeps her thumb over the scar once more, a silence falling over them both, and she moves on to another area, shifting the topic slightly. 

"Crosshair ever tell you how much that hug meant to him when you practically tripped over yourself getting off the front steps? Explicitly?"

It takes him a moment to answer her, the relief ebbing over him as [____] gently scratches and massages Hunter's scalp in little, circular motions is proving a massive boon. She's a natural at this, he's even starting to feel a little sleepy as the headache falls away, degree by degree. "Not explicitly... Not his thing…" 

She laughs softly, the sound gentle and bright. "Must've been in his own little Crosshair way then. Nothing wrong with that…" He hums agreeably, crawling forward and adjusting his arms to get more comfortable at her invitation to lay his head on the tops of her thighs so she can continue to fuss her hands through his hair more comfortably for them both. He can't see it well, but she's smiling down at him this entire time as she watches his blinks growing slower and slower each time she works her fingers through those dark brown curls from root to tip. 

The tension in his body melts away the longer she treats his aching head and spoils him with attention. He's speaking in gentle little mumbles, all the while being this close to falling asleep on her, literally. (She doesn't mind in the slightest; she did it first after all.)

"Taking off the bandana help any?" [____] murmurs after a few minutes of silence passes by, rearranging the hair that's fallen over his eyes. He's awake, but just barely. His eyelids flutter open a fraction of a second, the action a slight twitch of movement more than anything. "Mm…?" 

"Nevermind, sweetheart," she tells him, caressing and stroking the back of his head in a languid, loving fashion, feeling his breath pulling in and out in regular waves across her thighs as he rests on his stomach, his head in her lap. "It's okay. You can just go to sleep, if you want." There's no movement in his face, the hint of his sleepy, easy smile doesn't budge. Just a lazy hum from deep in his chest that she can feel through the mattress and bedding below her as he finally surrenders to slumber, permission given. "...mm-m." 

Only when she's entirely certain that Hunter's asleep does [____] speak, or move in the slightest. With care, she eases his head off her lap and tucks one of the spare pillows beneath him, planting a kiss against his temple. Another over the old incision scar for good measure before she tries to slip away and check on Spoon one last time for the night. "Goodnight, Hunter…" 

Even in his sleep, Hunter is somehow able to find her hand and take hold, latching on tightly before she can get far. He whimpers, kriffing whimpers, her name softly in protest because he must sense her trying to leave. 

"Okay, okay," [____] murmurs soothingly, glad she can turn off lights remotely more than ever as she gingerly rejoins him on the bed, "I'll stay, sweetheart." she promises Hunter, caressing the back of his head once again. She begins with shimmying the bedding over them both, all the lights set to shut off, and finally laying back before Hunter appears content and drifting into deeper sleep. Truly content. 

"I'm not going anywhere..."

Taglist: @dragonrider9905  @ladytano420  @the-hexfiles @ilovethosebrowneyes9904​

Note from Frost: If you would like to be added to the taglist that is currently just specific for Sorry, Wrong Comms!, (I may start a taglist for all Star Wars related fanfiction projects that will be marked accordingly with #frostfics in the near future if there is interest) don’t hesitate to shoot me an ask or a comment loves. 🩷

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[darlingmunsons]

Tension

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Warnings: Swearing, some suggestiveness  Era: Prison era Word Count: 2.9k

Request by @thisisparadisemylove​: thank you for the requests and for being patient with me lol, sorry this took much longer than i expected it too i've been busy. but i hope you enjoy and this was what you had in mind!!

Flashbacks in italics.

Masterlist

Requests open:)

Daryl watched across the courtyard as you struggled to drag another body across the courtyard, wincing as you dropped it down into the pile of already decaying bodies. He hadn’t missed the signs of discomfort you’d been showing since you’d arrived at the prison about a week ago.

He made his way towards you, lugging the dead weight behind him. The two of you along with Rick, T-Dog and Glenn, the rest of the group staying inside to care for an injured Hershel and a very heavily pregnant Lori, had been tasked with disposing of the dead you’d managed to rid the prison of. As he dumped the body in the growing pile he watched as you fiddled with the gardening gloves you found.

“You good?” Daryl asked, pulling the bandana off the lower half of his face.

“These gloves are too big, they keep sliding off my damn hands,” you huffed, throwing the gloves to the ground in frustrating.

“Switch with me, they’ve got things ‘round the wrist, tighten them to you.” Daryl didn’t hesitate  to take his own gloves off and put them on your hands for you, tightening the straps around the wrist.

“That any better?”

“Much better,” you smiled, trying to ignore the warmth from his fingers touching your wrists, “thank you.”

He nodded in response and you bent down to pick the other pair of gloves, wincing as you stood back up too quickly.

“What’s going on with that?” He asked. 

“It’s nothing, just,” you sighed, moving your hands to rest on your lower back and stretching, “being out on the road and sleeping on the floor has messed my back up, thinking maybe a trapped nerve.”

“Here, turn around.” Daryl had already grabbed your shoulders and turned you before he finished speaking, “Where's it messed up?”

“Around my lower back and into my hips a little.” You replied, still wondering why he turned you around.

Daryl hummed in response, sliding his hand to your hips and digging his thumbs into the flesh of your lower back. His touch startled you slightly, you knew there was no intention behind this other than him trying to help but you couldn’t stop your mind running straight to the gutter. The feeling of his fingers digging into your hips, even over your clothes was enough to have a hot blush spread over your body.

Daryl held his breath as his thumbs dug into your back, he definitely didn’t think this through. When he first set his hand upon his hips he knew he was in trouble, the feeling of your hips sat in his hand had his head spiralling, even over your clothes your back felt soft under his thumbs. He pulled away after a moment, suddenly aware you were both still outside, catching Ricks teasing eyes as he checked your surroundings Daryl scowled at the sheriffs knowing look. He made sure to avoid your eyes as you turned back around.

Daryl cleared his throat before speaking, “Nah, don’t think it’s a trapped nerve, you’ve got a helluva lot of tension though, lotta knots. Carol gets them in her shoulders, easy enough to sort out, just gotta know how to.”

You were glad that his gaze avoided you, otherwise he may have noticed the blush that you were desperately trying to calm. You nodded at his words in response.

“Thanks,” you managed to choke out.

Daryl spoke before he could think, the feeling of your hips under his hand still on his mind.

“I uh- I can come by your cell later? If you want I mean? You know to help with that? Uh, only if you think that could help obviously,” Daryl mumbled out, instantly regretting the words as they left his mouth. Had he really just offered to come to your cell and give you a massage? God, what was he thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid. 

There was no way you’d agree to thi-

“Yeah, sure,” you interrupted his thoughts.

You said yes, oh god you said yes, fuck.

“Worth a shot, I mean if it stops me wanting to cripple over any time I move too quick or even at the wrong angle,” you chuckled, hoping to ease some of the tension between you both.

“You two done playing hooky yet?” Ricks voice cut across the other side of the pile of bodies where he and Glenn and just dumped another one.

“Yeah,” Glenn added, “too busy flirting while the rest of us are working our asses off.”

You knew he was teasing but it didn’t stop the feeling of guilt that rushed over your body.

Daryl huffed, “Man, shut the hell up,” he grumbled, stalking off to grab another dead one and bumping Glenn with his shoulder as he walked past him causing Glenn to chuckled, clearly pleased his teasing worked.

You watched as Daryl stomped off, hoping Glenn hadn’t embarrassed him too much.

-

Daryl stood outside the door of your cell, staring intently at the blanket you were using as a curtain for privacy, almost willing it to make the decision for him.

The last thing he’d want is to cross any lines with you but then again you had agreed to his offer so surely you’re comfortable with the idea. Maybe you were just being polite, agreeing to it to not embarrass him? God he was spiralling and quickly, if he didn’t do it now he probably wouldn’t do it at all.

His knuckles knocked against a bar on your cell door, waiting to hear your voice telling him to come in before opening the curtain and stepping into your cell, letting the curtain close behind him. Your room was lit by a couple of lanterns, enough to illuminate your room in a soft warm glow. You were laying on your back on your bunk, on arm across your forehead and the other on your stomach, staring at the ceiling. The top bunk having already been removed the first night you stayed at the prison, claiming it made you feel claustrophobic.

You sat up slightly, moving to lean on your elbows so you could get a better look at Daryl.

“Hey, didn’t think you were gonna show for a second there,” you picked at the think blanket below you nervously.

Daryl cleared his throat, “Yeah sorry, got caught up talkin’ to Rick.”

“That’s okay, I’m glad you came though,” your head hung low, suddenly feeling shy around the man you spent most of your time with.

Daryl smiled at that, to anyone else they might not have even noticed the quirk in the corner of his lips but you did, you always do.

He could feel his palms starting to sweat, he swore that was an attempt at flirting with him but if he thought too much into it he was afraid he’d bolt right back through that curtain.

“Hows your back doin’?” He stepped further into your cell.

“Not great, think lugging round all those dead bodies all afternoon did no help,” you dropped back off your elbows allowing yourself to lay fully on the bed again.

“Shoulda said somethin’, no one woulda minded if you skipped out on the heavy liftin’, not if you’re in pain.”

You shrugged, “It's good, just gotta push through shit like this if we want to get anything done round here, hope it’s gets better on its own. You’re here now though, hopefully you can help.”

“Yeah, I can try.” He nodded.

“So, how do you want me?” You knew double entendres that came with your words but it didn’t stop you, you always did enjoy teasing the archer, the blush that spread to the tips of his ears something you found adorable. 

He cleared his throat, something you noticed he did when he was nervous.

“Uhm, I guess on your front? If you’re comfortable with tha’?” He kept his head low, worried about stumbling over his words.

“Yes, boss,” you saluted, slowly turning over to lie on your front.

Daryl took a moment to let his eyes cover your body as you settled on your stomach, reminding himself to breathe as he gazed over the curve of your ass. Wiping the palms of his hands on his pants he made his way to your bed, place one knee on it before swinging the other over to straddle your back.

“This okay?” He asked, trying to keep most of his weight off your back as to not hurt you and honestly cut the physical contact as much as he could.

“Perfect,” you sighed, strangely comforted by the weight of him on top of you.

Daryl nodded even though he knew you couldn’t see him. He seriously had to get a hold of himself, this isn’t even the closest you two had been. While you were out on the road, before the prison the two of you had grown closer. 

The air was heavy after the farm fell, losing Andrea and Shane followed you all around but you specifically, you weren’t necessarily close with either of them but that didn’t make their deaths any easier. So while on the road you started tagging along with Daryl when he went hunting, hoping some time away from the group could help clear your head. It’s not that you didn’t like them, you loved them in fact, but sometimes it all got too much for you and Daryl could see that so he let you join him. From there you formed a close bond, for some reason beyond him, you just made him feel comfortable, he trusted you and felt safe with you and visa versa. 

One really cold night, maybe the coldest you’d experienced was the night you got the closest. You’d fortunately managed to find shelter in an abandoned house but that didn’t stop the numb feeling in your fingers and the chattering of your teeth. Everyone was asleep but you couldn’t get warm enough to even consider it, the fire had gone out for safety reason and you’d given your extra blanket to a pregnant Lori.

Daryl watched across the room as you shivered, sleep escaping him for the same reason as you. Also the fact he was worried about you added to the problem, he swore he could hear your teeth clashing as you shivered. He struggled with the internal debate on whether to help, his shyness almost taking over but as he watched you wipe and your numb nose for the countless time he made his decision. You hadn’t even noticed Daryl had made his way to you until he was sat next to you, shoulder pressed to yours 

“C’mon,” he whispered lifting his poncho up in front of him, leaving enough room for you to fit.

“But-,” you tried to dispute but you couldn’t get past the first word before Daryl cut you off.

“Nah, c’mon, ya gonna freeze your ass off.”

You smiled shyly, moving your way to between his legs, ducking under his poncho and leaning back against his chest.

“Thank you,” your words were barely about a whisper but he heard you.

“No problem,” his breath was warm as he whispered back, “stays between us though, yeah?”

You knew he was teasing and despite the cold and your lack of energy you couldn’t stop yourself teasing back.

“Right, of course. Can’t have people knowing you’re a big softie.”

He chucked at your words but said no more, allowing you both to warm up and eventually drift off to sleep.

“Yoohoo, earth to Daryl,” your voice startled him out of his memory, grateful you were facing away from him so you didn’t see his blush.

“Right sorry, I just-,” he cleared his throat, getting his mind back on track,“sorry. So you said lower back right?”

“Yeah, lower back and then round into my hips.”

Daryl tried to keep his mind clear as he slip his hands to your hips, letting his thumbs dig into the flesh of your lower back like he did earlier that day in the field.

“Here?”

You groaned as his dug his thumbs in, “Uh, yeah.”

“Right, unbutton your pants,” the words left daryl mouth before he could even consider the innuendo that came with it.

You let out a quick loud, laugh. You knew what he meant, you knew he just wanted you to move your pants past your hips so he has better access to your back.

“Well, Mr Dixon, I didn’t think this was those types of massages. Do I need to pay extra for this?” You teased, still laughing as you slid your hands under you to do as he asked, shuffling your pants past your hips to expose your lower back.

Daryl ran his hands over his face and held them there for a moment as he blushed.

“That ain’t- that ain’t what I meant and you know that,” his voice was muffled behind the hands that were still covering his face before he pulled them away.

“Whatever you say.”

He could practically hear the smirk on your face, he was annoyed but mostly annoyed at himself at how easy he set himself up with his own words. Just a little annoyed at you for your quick whit.

He kept his mouth shut, not wanted to add anymore fuel to the fire. He pushed your shirt up past your hips, ignoring the soft skin of your hips as his finger tips brushed against you. Once your back and hips were fully exposed he got to work, starting off gently and slowly digging his fingers into your love handles. God, you were so soft.

The soft whimpers and groans that left your lips as he dug further, using a little more force to get the knots out of your back, were noises that he was sure were going to stay with him forever.

“That feel okay?” He mumbled, not sure you’d hear him because of how relaxed you seemed.

“Feels amazing,” you sighed, sinking further into the thin mattress you were on.

Daryl carried on, keeping the same pace as not to push too far and hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable. About ten minutes had gone by of you both sat in a comfortable silence, Daryl’s hand following a now familiar path around your hips and oh my god did you just moan? 

Oh god you moaned. What did you do, fuck, you can’t believe you let that noise slip past your lips. He heard it too, you know he did, the way his hands halted on your hips and he sucked in a breath told you he heard you. What are you even supposed to say? ‘Hey sorry Daryl it’s just been so long since I’ve had the touch of another human that I couldn’t even handle you digging the knots out of my back?’ No, fuck no, god could you get anymore pathetic.

You shifted slightly underneath him, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

Daryl gasped as you shifted again, your ass brushing up against his crotch. That was it, he was gone. The arousal he’d been trying his hardest to hold back since he entered your cell had made itself known.

You felt it, you knew it and he knew it.

Daryl Dixon was on top of you with a boner. And honestly it turned you on.

The silence continued for another moment before Daryl cleared his throat.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he climbed off you, keeping his back to you as he stood, “I- uh, sorry, it’s just-“

“I get it,” you cut him off, rolling onto your back and sitting up, “I’m sure we’ve all gone just as long without being with anyone, slighted touch will set you off.”

You kept your eyes in your lap, the truth in your words so obvious and still embarrassed from your moans before. Daryl adjusted the front of his pants, finding the guts to turn to face you, your words comforting him slightly, the thought of you having the same types of feelings was a relief

“Right,” he nodded, turning around but still not quite catching your eye.

The tension between you two was palpable and it was almost too much.

“Anyway,” you decided to change the subject, “my back feels much better.”

“Good, ‘m glad,” he finally met your gaze, “can’t be carrying your load of the work much longer.” He was teasing you, the tension lifting slightly.

“Right, looks like you’re carrying too big a load as it is,” you teases right back, your gaze quickly dropping to his crotch before back up to his blushing face.

“Whatever,” he scoffed, annoyed that you’d out-wit him again, turning to leave your cell, quick to escape you before you made him blush any more if that was even possible.

You smirked, climbing off the bed to follow him out of your cell, stopping at the door.

“Thank you though. Seriously, I really appreciate it,” you said sincerely.

He shot you a shy smile, “Any time, it’s no problem. Now, you should get some sleep.”

You nodded as he walked through the curtain, watching until he was a few feet away.

“Hey, Dixon,” you called after him, waiting until he’d turned around before continuing, a smirk gracing your face, “if you ever want the favour returning or need a hand with anything, I mean anything, you know where to find me.” Your gaze dropped to his crotch once more, moving back up to catch his eye one last time. Taking a second to take in his wide eyes and slightly agape mouth before turning back into your cell and closing your curtain for the night, the smirk never leaving your face.

-

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

The Gym Membership - Part 25 (Crosshair)

Summary: Crosshair reflects.

A/N: Hello Lovelies,

I apologize for the delay, I was super exhausted yesterday and nothing I read made sense. But I do hope I didn't make you wait too long

Love oo

Italics - Flashback

Warnings: Grief, annoyed, frustrated, anxiety, crying, beginnings of a panic attack, grave, mentions of headstones, anger, violation of privacy, feelings of guilt. If I miss any warnings, please let me know.

AO3 Link   |   Words: 1,033   |   PREVIOUS - -> NEXT

Gym Membership Master List  |   Main Master List

One year later …

Today just wasn’t Crosshair’s day. If his eyebrows furrowed any further, there was a very real chance they would end up being stuck in that position, permanently. 

The level on his annoyed metre was reaching dangerously high levels, and he was ready to lose it. 

He wanted …. No. He needed some peace and quiet, to get away from everyone. He took the day off, with that thought in mind, not to mention today marked a year since Avery passed away. 

It was odd, it felt surreal knowing she was gone. More than that, it felt weird knowing his life moved along, even without her. But then, it always did for the living. 

As he drove towards his coffee shop, he could help remember how the reality of her passing hit him hard the week after they buried her. 

It had been a busy Tuesday, his mind was preoccupied with work he didn’t even realize he’d unconsciously driven to his usual flower shop. It didn’t even phase him being there, since it was his regular day to visit Avery. He was distracted walking around the shop picking up her favourite flowers, he made his way to the counter ready to buy the bouquet when it hit him like a ton of bricks. He felt at first he couldn’t breathe, as his eyes focused on the petals and remembered she was no longer at the hospital.

In fact, he had no reason to go back to that hospital ever again. 

Tears welled up, as he realized he’d be taking the bouquet to a different location. He stood at the counter with the flowers for what felt like ages. When he finally walked out of the flower shop, and got in his car, it somehow drove itself towards the cemetery.  

Even his feet moved on their own accord when he reached the cemetery. Everything felt surreal, like it was happening to someone else and not him. He stood at her grave for several minutes, before his strength evaporated, he fell to his knees, as his shaky hand placed the bouquet on her grave. Tears streamed down his cheek, knowing this was the only way he’d be seeing her. Time held no meaning as he stayed there for hours, missing her to an extent he never realized he could. 

An ache settled in his heart, thinking back to that moment. Back to the week he lost Avery and buried her. He had gotten better, there were still moments when everything felt he was about to lose his mind. But those moments were becoming far and few in between. 

The guilt he felt was overwhelming. Guilt for being less than a perfect husband, and guilt for not making an effort with Layla, after the funeral they only spoke to each other if it was necessary. There was also an immense amount of guilt from not telling his family sooner about Avery, the fact they’d never get to know what an amazing woman she was. 

Even the way they found out about her was shameful. He parked his car, as he looked at the coffee shop, across the street. It was busier than usual, he didn’t rush to get out of the car, as his mind drifted back.

Two weeks after the funeral …

Cross sat on the couch, his brows furrowed as he focused on the various headstones that were being offered. 

Layla emailed her preferences, along with the various templates of how the headstone would look, and although some were quite beautiful none of them seemed right to him. They didn’t exactly scream ‘Avery’, nor did they capture who she was; he let out a sigh, leaning against the couch, as he placed the tablet beside him.

Should it be this difficult? It was a headstone, not a sculpture. 

He needed to clear his head, he stood, stretching his limbs. He’d been hunched over looking at the headstones for almost two hours. He left his tablet alone, as he headed towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. 

Despite the argument, Tech had yet to move out of Crosshair’s apartment. He was getting better about not spending all his time there, but it was slow progress. Tech slowly meandered his way from his room over to the couch. Things weren’t exactly the greatest between the two of them, since he blew up at Cross. 

He fully expected Cross to rip into him when he came back to the apartment, but instead the next morning after their argument, Cross just told him to stay as long as he wanted, he told him: he didn’t care when he was ready to move out, as long as when he did, he was sure he was ready. It had been a complete shock to Tech, he wasn’t sure what happened to Cross, but something caused him to change his mind. 

He spent a week trying to determine exactly what happened to Crosshair, but he refused to discuss it. In the end, he let Cross be, knowing eventually he’d tell him when he was ready. 

Tech sat down on the couch, picking up the tablet when it slid closer to him, he was about to place it on the coffee table when his eyes caught sight of the headstones. His eyes focused on each stone and the templated name, Avery Taylor-Fett. His hand gripped the tablet, as one question pounded in his mind, ‘Who the hell was Avery Taylor-Fett?’ 

Crosshair hadn’t heard Tech come out of his room, nor had he heard him walk and take a seat on the couch. His eyes were focused on stirring his coffee as he walked back to the living room, when he froze in his tracks as his eyes locked on to Tech’s hand holding his tablet and his eyes clearly reading what was on the page. 

“What the kriff do you think you’re doing?” His voice was bridled with anger at seeing his brother violate his privacy.

Tech slowly lifted his head, and locked eyes with his brother, “I think the bigger question is who’s Avery Taylor-Fett? And why are you looking at headstones?”

AO3 Link   |   Words: 1,033   |   PREVIOUS - -> NEXT

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@justanothersadperson93​ @liadamerondjarin​ @badbatch-simp24​ @spicymcnuggies​ @lady-ren​ @firstofficerwiggles​ @darkangel4121​ @discofern​ @kavecika​ @monako-jinn-stories​ @ladykatakuri​ @avathebestx​ @theroguesully​ @furyhellfire66​ @carodealmeida​ @ciramaris​ @sprout-fics​ @twinkofthedink​ @dindjarin-mandalorian​ @clonethirstingisreal @crosshair-is-the-superior-clone

[violet-phoenix-nebula]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

325,309

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Actively: primarily Supernatural

Past: MCU, Harry Potter, Twilight, Divergent, Hunger Games, House M.D.,

4. Top 5 fics by kudos:

1. Disillusioned

Twilight, Bella/Carlisle, incomplete & on indefinite hiatus

2. Common Courtesy

Captain America, Steve/Bucky

3. Love Isn't All That It Seems (I've Been Sleepwalking)

Supernatural, [ship omitted out of respect for others]

4. The More That You Say, The Less I Know

Supernatural, Castiel/Dean

5. Plants Awoke and They Slowly Grow (Beneath the Skin)

Supernatural, Castiel/Dean Winchester

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to respond to all of them, though sometimes I miss an email and it takes me forever.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Going with only completed works, I'd say it'd be one of these two:

Knives In My Heart - Divergent, Eric/Tris, MCD

They're Burning All The Witches (Even If You Aren't One) - Captain America/MCU, Steve/Bucky, rape/non-con

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh god, honestly most of my works have happy endings, and a few with more open/ambiguous endings, so really there's no way to pick one.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

People seem more courteous now, but I used to all the time. I tend to add some kind of snarky iteration of "don't like, don't read" on most of my controversial ones now, but my ships have definitely gotten me hate.

9. Do you write smut?

Yes, though I just call it porn. I'm in spitting distance of 30. I call it what it is. And I'd say I'm pretty good at it, overall.

10. Do you write cross-overs?

Not full on, no. I've had a crossover moment or hint before, but full crossover fics, no. I'd like to experiment with it someday, but not right now.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I'm 99% sure I have at least once, I know I've gotten at least one comment asking to. I never followed up on it though. Maybe I should.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kind of? Though it was more a meshing of ideas and getting so much input from the other person that I credited them as a co-author, not them literally typing part of the fic.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Stucky (Steve/Bucky, Captain America/MCU) is my absolute OTP, forever and always. I have a few ships I love, but they're my #1. They're also one of, if not the only ship that's not problematic in any way, shape or form.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

Sadly, most of them. I started posting chapters as soon as I wrote them and then my hyperfixation for the pairing/fandom passed, and I lost all motivation. If I ever did a multi chapter WIP again, I'd probably get most or all of it written before I started posting it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Definitely explicit material, porn, smut, whatever you want to call it. I've improved in the last few years for sure, and I know there's better than me out there, but I do pretty well.

I think I write well overall. There are some people who write and they have fantastic ideas but it just doesn't flow, and that's not a problem I've ever had.

I'm fantastic at one shots. I can write something short and sweet and tie it right up. Most of my work is under 10k.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I cannot write anything long worth a damn. My only longer works are unfinished, I completely lose steam. I currently have an AU in mind that I desperately want to write, but my history with abandoning multi chapter fics is scaring me away from starting it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I only speak English, so I don't. I used to try, until I was told that google translate sucks, so then I swapped to putting the English in italics.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Oh god, I have to go to FFN for this. Though before I actually joined any fanfic sites I sat down and wrote an alternate ending for the Twilight short story about Bree Tanner in a notebook, that was before I knew fanfic even existed. As far as posted works, it appears to be Hunger Games and Harry Potter.

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Definitely All I Feel As I Get Closer To You, absolutely no contest. It's a Supernatural fic, Dean/Castiel set in season 10, at 9.2k words.

@aaronthe8thdemon is the only one I know for a fact writes fic regularly that I can think of off the top of my head, but I'll informally tag anyone who wants to participate.

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 8

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.8k

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 7? Here!

Hi all! I know this one took a lot longer than previous. I was on vacation and then went straight into my work week. I almost thought about ending it after the last chapter but I realized there's still some loose ends! Also I gotta say I'm really overthinking the voicing for Pedro, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. This chapter entirely got away from me and wasn't the plot I anticipated, haha. Once again, thank you all for reading. I love all the comments, messages, and asks I get about my story and it honestly blows me away. Please continue to like, reblog, and let me know what you think! Love to you all!

Also I made dividers! Weeehooo

The rest of the evening was filled with kisses, cuddles, and sweet nothings whispered to each other through smiles. It was just a quarter after midnight when Pedro finally pulled his lips away from yours and looked at the clock. Turning to set his forehead on yours once again, he quietly spoke.

"I should probably get home, Princesa," he punctuated with another kiss.

You let out a whine, but knew you weren't ready for it to move much further than this too quickly. "What time is it?" You kissed him.

"It's already after midnight." He kissed.

"Hmm," you hummed with another press of your lips to his. "And I never even turned into a pumpkin." Kiss.

"I don't think that's how the story went, mi amor," he ran his hand over your hair, kissing your lips, your cheek, below your ear, and finally your neck.

"Mmmm," you sighed, tilting your head to give him better access. "I can't really think clear enough about how that story went right now." You ran your fingers through his curls.

He kissed down your neck again a few times before gently nibbling your earlobe. Your breath caught in your chest.

"We should really slow this down and call it a night," he whispered directly into your ear. You felt his nose brush your hair and his warm breath on the side of your face. 

You sighed with a pout of your lips. You knew he was right. It was too soon into the relationship - or whatever this is - to go any further. But damn, would you be lying if you said you didn't want it.

"I know, baby. I know." He sighed in response, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

He pulled back, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, and adjusting in his seat, pulling his sweater down further over his waist. You tried to ignore it, but you couldn't help letting your eyes drift down a little lower towards the area he was trying to cover. He placed his hands in his lap, clearing his throat. You looked back up at his face, noticing his cheeks turning a pink hue.

Guess I'm not the only one feeling a little excited here, you thought with a smirk at the idea of you making him react this way. You rubbed your thumb across his reddened cheek. "Don't worry, baby. Me too," you sighed, feeling a little antsy and frustrated yourself. His eyebrows raised, mouth pulling into a mischievous sideways smirk. 

The two of you let out a nervously happy laugh. "Maybe… I could take you on a real date soon? If you would like that?" Pedro asked, looking at you once again with those big brown eyes. "I would love that, Pedro. More than anything." You pecked his lips once more, running your hand over his bicep.

He kissed you back before pulling away with a small laugh. "Okay, I gotta go, baby. I'm enjoying this a little too much, and we should probably cool it down." He gave another nervous laugh.

"Sorry," you giggled. "You're kind of addicting, and you don't know how long I've waited for this. Kissing. Mutual feelings. Romance…" you trailed off with a grin.

"Love?" He asked, holding your cheek and giving a soft smile.

"Yes. That too." You closed your eyes, leaning into his cheek. "But that still sounds so wild to me.  I'm scared to say it to you in case you'll change your mind, or realize you don't feel the same, or that it's too soon for… that word, or…" you rambled quietly, your insecurities creating a wall you know all too well.

"That just isn't true, sweetheart. I know it's soon, and we technically just met, but we've been talking for several months now. We've talked nearly every day. I started to realize I might love you a while ago, but seeing you for the first time over video really made me know for sure. Getting to meet you in person somehow even made me fall harder," he held your hand in his.

"After just one meeting? I mean, it's just… people that have known me for years haven't felt that way, and someone like you? Someone famous and beautiful and so much more experienced and mature than me… I just.. I don't want to push you away, but I can't help but worry that you'll change your mind or it isn't real and it's all just going to… vanish," you looked down at your connected hands, closing your eyes to swallow your emotions.

"Hey.. don't do that. Don't put yourself down or build those walls. I fell in love with your music and your voice the first time I heard it. Getting to know you through text and finally talking to you on the phone, getting to learn all your quirks and your sense of humor, your personality. You. I don't know how anyone could not fall in love with you, and I was scared to let it happen. I told myself not to get wrapped up in relationships. That it would just cause more heartache that I couldn't go through again. But somehow you lured me in like a siren and I couldn't ignore it. I heard your song and wanted to know you. I talked to you and needed more. I don't care that you weren't famous before, and that you don't have a lot of experience with relationships. And any other insecurities you have can just go away, because they aren't true. You are beautiful. You're funny, smart, sweet, and you have the most beautiful voice and heart of anyone I know. I knew you were beautiful before I saw you, and I fell so hard when I finally saw you for the first time."

"Pedro…" you blinked at him.

"The constant thought that you already loved someone, and it, to my knowledge, wasn't me, hurt every day I talked to you. But I couldn't stay away. I just kept wanting to be closer. I want to be with you. If anything, I wonder why you would want to be with someone so much older than you. Someone who can't love you the way you deserve, without paparazzi and fans and spotlights. I hope you won't change your mind. Because despite my best efforts to avoid relationships, I fell in love."

You had tears in your eyes as you looked up from your lap to meet his eyes. "I love you Pedro."

"I love you too." He kissed your lips once again, and as he pulled away, he said your name in a whisper. "Believe me, having to stop kissing you is just as difficult for me too. Maybe tomorrow I can take you on that date?" He asked, standing up with your hand in his.

"I'd love to go on a date with you," you smiled at the ground, cheeks heating. 

"Great! I'll talk to you tomorrow," he kissed your cheek before kneeling down to give Skipper a gentle rub and receiving several wet doggy kisses. The two of you laughed as Pedro stood, wiping his face on his sweater. "What can I say, I like kisses from everyone in this household." He winked.

"Okay cheeseball, get outta here," you gently shoved him before giving a final kiss and waving goodbye to him.

The next day, you were sleeping in, feeling relaxed and happy, like you finally could rest easy. It was around 11 AM when your phone rang, waking you up from your deep, peaceful slumber. Blinking your eyes open to see the morning sun beaming through the window, you stretched and grabbed your phone, looking at the clock as you did so. It was Pedro calling.

Cheerily, you answered the phone, though your voice betrayed you, still sounding groggy and cracked having just awoken. "Morning Pedro!"

"Baby… were you crying?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"What? No? I just woke up. Why would I be crying after having such a nice night with you?" You giggled.

He didn't laugh. In fact, he was a bit quiet. Unusual for the bubbly personality he usually was. "Pedro?" You asked after a beat of silence, suddenly feeling nervous.

He sighed and said your name in a tone that sent a chill down your spine. "I think you should check your phone. It's… something's happened. You should see it yourself. I just… I'm so sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."

Your blood ran cold. What is he talking about?

"Pedro, I don't under-" he interrupted you. "Please. I'm sorry. Just, you should read through everything and think things through. I hope you'll still want to call me back and talk. Goodbye. I love you." He hung up the phone.

With shaky hands, you looked at your phone. 45 missed text messages, 10 of which were from Pedro. 200 notifications on your personal Instagram. 20 emails. 

What the hell?

You first opened Pedro's texts.

"Baby. I'm so sorry. I should've never dragged you into all this, I'm so sorry."

"I'm sure you've seen by now, I'm so sorry."

"Please forgive me."

"I know you probably want your space, but I hope you're okay. I love you."

"Baby?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm getting worried"

"Can we talk?"

"I hope you're just asleep or something."

"I never meant for this to happen."

What. The hell. Happened?

The other messages were from family and friends, all seeming to be freaking out about something. Still confused, you finally came across your answer.

News articles flooded your page. 

"Pedro Pascal Seen Leaving Party with Mystery Woman"

"Pedro Pascal Enjoys Halloween Party with Date"

"Pedro Pascal: New Girlfriend??"

"Pedro Pascal: Matching Costumes with Unknown Girl"

Oh shit.

Photo, after photo, after photo. You kept reading.

"Mystery Girl's Co-Worker Speaks Out!"

"Unknown Woman Is Pedro Super Fan"

"Pedro Pascal Dating Obsessed Fan?"

"Pedro Pascal Being Stalked By Woman"

Okay this is getting absurd. 

You clicked on the coworker article. Sure enough, your coworker, one you always thought was rude, had thrown you under the bus. Your name was out there now, thanks to her. "She and I go way back. We're practically besties. And yeah, she's totally in love with Pedro Pascal. Obsessed even."

That. Bitch, you thought angrily.

It was time to call your agent, Rose. You already had several missed calls from her, and she knew all about Pedro and your crush. She had become your confidante. You dialed her number and she quickly answered on the first ring.

"Rose! What should I do? There's pictures of me everywhere. My name is out there. My coworker commented on it. I haven't left my bedroom yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if they've found out where I live. I'm so scared. I don't know how to deal with this kind of thing."

You were on the verge of tears.

"First of all sweetheart," she calmly answered in her southern twang, "take a deep breath." You did what she said, though it hardly seemed to help.

"Second of all, I've been working on some fixin' since it all caught wind this mornin'. Things are startin' to calm down. Nobody seems to know that you're that singer, either. They just think you're some girl who managed to meet Pedro. But, I will say I think this may be the push you need. It might be time to tell the world, sugar. How you choose to do that is up to you, but don't you worry, I'll put out the fires."

You took a deep breath and sighed. "I think you're right. It was only a matter of time."

"Have you talked to Pedro yet?"

Shit. Pedro.

"Sort of. He called and woke me up. He apologized and basically hung up, telling me to call when I read everything. But I had a bunch of texts from him. He kept apologizing."

Rose clicked her tongue. "That poor sweet man. None of this was his fault. You know that too, right, darlin'? This is just what happens in show business. It ain't fair, but it also isn't his fault."

"I know that, Rose. He didn't do anything wrong. I got so caught up in all the headlines that I immediately called you and forgot to call him back. I bet he feels awful. I should get back to him. I hope he's okay, too. He only seemed concerned for me, but most of those headlines were actually about him and his dating life. I can't believe I put him through that." You suddenly realized what he may also be feeling after his confessions last night about avoiding relationships, and the inability to give you privacy from paparazzi.

Rose sighed. "Now if you don't call that sweet man, I will! You two lovebirds are perfect for each other. Apologizin' and feelin' awful for one another when neither of ya did anything wrong. Go get 'im. And hang in there, love. It'll all work out, trust me."

Your cheeks heated at her words about you and Pedro. "Thanks Rose. You always know what to say."

You two hung up and immediately you called Pedro.

"Pedro… I'm so sorry."

"Hon- wait what? Why are you sorry??"

"Those headlines were about you too, and your dating life and history. I hate that you were dragged into all this drama."

"Honey, no, please don't worry about me. Are you okay?? I know this is new for you and some of those articles were pretty mean. And that coworker of yours!? Clearly not a friend. How are you feeling?"

You took a deep breath. "Honestly, P, I'm so stressed. But I talked to my agent and she really talked me down. She said she's been playing crisis management all morning and it's dying down. But she does think it's time I tell the world who I am."

"Oh… babe. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was so selfish, I just wanted to see you and I didn't think about the consequences. I should have known this would happen."

"Pedro, please don't feel bad. None of this is your fault. She's right, it's time. I couldn't keep it a secret forever. And the party was not a great experience, but honestly, last night was one of the best nights of my life."

"So.. you still want to be with me?" He asked, cautiously.

"What? Yes, what kind of question is that? I love you, Pedro. Of course I want to be with you. Did you change your mind?"

"No!" He answered quickly. "I want to be with you."

"Good!" You smiled for the first time since seeing all the turmoil today. "I guess I better figure out my plans for the big reveal. I have some ideas, but…" you trailed off, pausing a few seconds.

"What is it, baby?"

"I don't want to make you feel like you have to if you don't want to, but… would you come over? I think I'll go on Instagram live, and I don't want to be alone. You don't have to be in the shot, I just want your presence there. You make me happy. Just you, me, and Skipper together today."

"Of course. Anything. I'll be there."

"Thank you, P. Give me an hour?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then. I'll bring you breakfast."

"Thank you, Pedro. You're really too good to me."

"No such thing, mi amor. You deserve it."

The conversation ended, and you showered, thinking through your words for the internet. Picking out the perfect outfit and place in your house for the big reveal, it wasn't long before the hour was up and Pedro was knocking on your door with breakfast and drinks in hand.

"Yum! Thank you, Pedro." You helped him carry, and then kissed him deeply, pouring all your love into the kiss, letting all your stresses of the day fade into pure love. He kissed you back, pulling you in closer by your lower back. "I wasn't sure if you were too stressed to eat, so I got things that would be okay to reheat, or leave out until you felt up to it."

"You're the best, you know that?" You rubbed his cheek.

"Mmmm, that's yet to be revealed, mi amor" he raised an eyebrow and winked, pulling you in for another kiss. You giggled, feeling bubbles of nerves and butterflies in your stomach at his implications. But now was not the time for those thoughts. You had more pressing matters.

Pedro noticed your stress shift. "You ready?" He asked while squeezing your arm. "I'm about as ready as I'm gonna be, I guess," you shrugged. "Let's do this." You stated, him answering with a curt nod.

The two of you made way to your music room, setting up your tablet in the right place near your desk. He sat in a chair just on the other side of you, outside of view, but close enough to make you feel more at ease. He was even close enough to hold your hand under the desk if you needed. Meanwhile, Skipper sat under the table near your feet, willing to keep you company when he could tell you were unhappy.

"Here we go," you breathed. You clicked the button to go live, and the stream began.

Want more? Track 9: Here!

Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for more!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin

[questforgalas]

March on the Temple pt 2.

Summary: While reflecting on memories of the 501st, Echo receives some disturbing news

Word Count: 4.6K

On AO3

Notes: WOOOO BABY DID THIS ONE GET AWAY FROM ME. This made me cry while writing it multiple times, so strap in for a lot of fond brotherly feels as well as post order 66 angst. Echo needs 8000 hugs, and Hunter is a good brother. Italics indicate flashbacks, all from Echo's POV. This chapter is all Echo's POV. I'm wicked proud of this one and feeling more comfortable in my writing, so I hope you all enjoy too!

Warnings: we be angsty babes. angst with a happy ending, post order 66, fond memories of the 501st, Rex is dogpiled by younglings, Ahsoka, Kix, Fives, Jesse, Hardcase, Appo, and Denal all make appearances, Hunter is there for his big brother

Pt 1 | Pt 2 | Pt 3

Tay's Masterlist

Read on AO3

“Echo, what does the reg manual say about loth wolves?”

Letting loose his sixth exasperated sigh since this conversation started, Echo closed his eyes with the false hope that he could block out Fives’ increasingly worrying questions.

“No animals of any kind are allowed in the barracks, Fives. Not tookas. Not loth wolves. Not eeopie. And definitely not rancor, before you even ask.”

“But hear me out,” Hardcase starts. “What if we get the general to ‘sign off’ on them? You know he barely looks at the reports before he signs them, always racing off once we land on Coruscant. No way he’d notice a petition for permission to bring a tooka on board.”

“Rex would love a tooka. He just doesn’t know it yet,” Jesse added.

The thing about the 501st, especially Hardcase, Fives, and Jesse, is that their boredom-induced plans were usually harmless. Echo could say that with 87% certainty. But that other 13% … well, the idea of bringing on a “mascot of the 501st” was being discussed longer than Echo was comfortable with.

“Fives, we’ve only been in hyperspace for a rotation. It’s too soon for you to give Rex a headache.”

“Oh come on Echo. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t ….”

The other thing about the 501st is that no matter how many times they made Echo groan, they made him smile twice as often. 

Staring into the bright jungle of Saleucami, Echo found his mind wandering to his brothers and thinking of the trouble they would get into here. Hardcase alone would run Kix out of bandages no doubt thanks to the brightly colored fauna. Echo loosed a sigh and leaned his head back against the side of Su and Cut’s house. Since they fled Kamino, he’s caught himself thinking of his old squad more often than usual.Maybe it was the memories of familiarity while now in a galaxy of uncertainty that brought him comfort. Or maybe because any memories of his newest squad involved one missing member, and the betrayal Echo felt ran deeper than he wanted to acknowledge at the moment.

Fighting hard to not let his mind conjure up images of clones shooting at a Jedi padawan or, worse, a black chamber with the sounds of machines beeping out of sight, Echo reached for memories painted blue.

“Do you think they’ll let us eat in their mess hall? I heard the temple food is some of the best on Coruscant,” Kix hadn’t stopped rambling since they got the orders to meet Commander Tano at the Jedi Temple. Echo didn’t blame him. It wasn’t often non-command clones were summoned to the temple, and even though Fives and Echo walked the halls a few times before, this was Kix’s first visit. So, his energy was nothing but amusing to the other two.

“Is it even called a mess hall here? That doesn’t sound very Jedi. It’s probably called something like ‘The Nourishing Hall’ or ‘Meals of Enlightenment’,” Fives joked. “Yeah, that sounds right. ‘The Nourishing Hall – double your midi-chlorians with every meal’,” he emphasized the title with a streak of his hand through the air like he was displaying a holoboard.

“Sorry Fives, no midi-chlorian doubling meals here. And hate to break it to ya, but it’s just the cafeteria.” Commander Tano’s voice sounding next to them made all three troopers jump at the same time. They looked to their left to find the young Togruta chuckling to herself, clearly amused with her stealthy stunt. Echo whipped his head around wondering where in the Maker she came from. “Jedi stealth must be a nice trick to have,” he muttered to himself.

Once they made it to the top of the stairs, the three troopers stopped to face Ahsoka, awaiting an explanation as to why they were here, but first, she waved over a blue skinned Twi’lek waiting by the entrance. The Jedi, or Echo assumed they were a Jedi, had kind eyes and an even kinder smile – not uncommon amongst the force wielders.

“Echo and Fives, you’ll follow me as I bring you to the briefing room. But first, Kix, I’d like you to meet Jedi Master Vokara Che. She’s the head healer here at the temple,” Ahsoka explained.

Echo looked over and used every moment of his ARC training to refrain from bursting out laughing once he saw the look on Kix’s face. The 501st medic stood there with eyes wide and mouth agape, processing the presence coming toward them. Echo wasn’t familiar with the Jedi Master, but based on Kix’s reaction, he certainly was.

“Hello medic Kix. I’ve heard about the remarkable work you do on the field for your battalion, and, if you’ll allow, I’d like for you to spend time in the healing halls here over the next few rotations. I think we can learn a great deal from each other,” Jedi Master Che spoke with a sing-song voice.

Hands clasped together, the Jedi healer stood patiently as she waited to hear Kix’s response, which, to everyone’s amusement, never came as he was stuck with the same wide eyes and open mouth that formed when the healer joined them. Master Che’s smile quirked up at the corners in amusement. Not able to let their brother make a fool of himself any longer, Fives softly punched Kix’s shoulder to jolt him out of his stupor.

“Don’t mind him, ma’am. We’re still adjusting back to Coruscant time from our most recent mission, but I can speak for Kix when I say he’d be honored to learn from you,” Echo supplied for the medic.

With a bashful smile, Kix finally spoke up, “Echo’s right. It would be an honor, ma’am. Please, show me the way.”

As he was walking away, Kix gave one quick glance back at Echo and Fives with a face that only said “Can you kriffing believe this?” Echo and Fives finally let loose their amused chuckles, and with two casual salutes, the ARCs bid their brother farewell and turned to their Jedi.

“So, Commander, what do the generals have for us this time?” Fives asked.

“Rex hand picked you two for this one. It’s as big as it gets boys. You’re breaking into the Citadel,” Ahsoka informed them with a gleam in her eyes.

Echo jolted off the side of the house, breath coming in pants, needing to put his head in his hand. That was one of his favorite memories, but Echo forgot what it led up to. The gleam in Ahsoka’s eyes. Echo’s excited gasp. Fives confident smirk. Maker, if only they knew what 12 hours later was going to bring them. Was going to bring him.

Recalling the breathing exercises Tech taught him, Echo focused on bringing his heartbeat down and making the ringing in his ears stop. As he gradually recovered, he heard the footsteps of someone approaching from around the house. Based on the soft footfall, Echo knew it was Hunter. He was the softest footed of his brothers next to Crosshair, and sure enough, the sergeant rounded the corner to find Echo slumped at the waist with his elbows on his knees.

“Panic attack?” Hunter simply asked.

“Flashback. Nothing direct. I’m almost back.” Echo rattled off like it was a mission report.

“Mind some company?” Echo looked up and gave his permission with a curt nod. Hunter slotted himself in between the ARC and some feed crates which Echo assumed was to try and give him space as he brought himself back to here and now. Yet, even through the haze of his flashback, Echo didn’t could pick up on the nervous energy coming off of his sergeant. Sure, Omega was almost eaten by a nexu not an hour ago, but he didn’t think it would still contribute to Hunter being this on edge.

“Memories of your old squad usually help, don’t they?” Hunter’s gruff voice broke through Echo’s thoughts, and he looked up with a confused look that had the sergeant chuckling, subtly tapping his ear as if to say, “Enhanced senses, remember?”

“I’d hear you sometimes during your recovery sessions with Tech. Especially during the tougher ones. You’d resort to telling stories of the 501st. I think Tech realized this too. He started to prompt you when he noticed you having a tough time,” Hunter explained. Echo wanted to be surprised, but all Hunter’s observation did was wash a calm wave over his frayed nerves. Typical of his brothers to distract him from the horrors of war even when they weren’t on the same planet – or alive.

A soft sigh escaped his lips as his heart beat finally calmed to a steady beat. Soft rays from the late afternoon sun started creeping around the corner of the house and draped the two in a warm haze. Echo was starting to relax from his episode, but he noticed that Hunter was as stiff as if they were standing at attention on Kamino. Unable to handle the anxiety any longer, Echo spoke up, “Something on your mind, Hunter?”

Echo was expecting Hunter to blink out of his stupor. Maybe jolt his head in Echo’s direction as if he had been lost in thought and forgot the trooper was next to him. What he didn’t expect was for Hunter to let out a deep sigh and close his eyes as if he was struggling to find his next words. Quiet settled over them as Echo waited for him to choose when he was ready to speak. With one more drawn out breath, Hunter finally spoke.

“Have you seen any of the reports coming out of Coruscant?”

Echo’s eyebrows furrowed at the random nature of Hunter’s question.

“We haven’t exactly had a lot of time to take a Holonews break, Hunter.”

“Humor me.”

“No, I haven’t sought out any reports. If I’m being honest, I figured Tech would take on that responsibility and report anything of note,” Echo answered. Seeing Hunter continue to be wound tight caused Echo himself to stiffen. He’d never seen Hunter like this, even with everything that just occurred.

“What’s going on Hunter? Why should I care about imperial reports?”

At last, Hunter’s eyes met his. “Tech was scanning through records and reports during the trip here when he stumbled across something.” Hunter reached across his body, and that’s when Echo noticed a datapad dangling from his belt. Unclipping it, Hunter brought it in front of him and activated it. “It’s an imperial article detailing the attack on the Jedi temple. Would uh, would you like to read it?” He grimaced when he asked. If this exchange wasn’t clouded with nervous energy, Echo probably would have laughed at the sergeant’s attempts to be casual about something that was clearly the opposite.

“Hunter.” The sergeant grimaced again. “Just tell me what’s going on before you make yourself implode.” That earned Echo an amused huff.

“Turns out, the clones didn’t just turn on the Jedi in the field. A clone battalion marched on the temple in Coruscant and wiped the place clean. Tech theorizes that the number of Jedi scattered across fronts at the time was deliberate so the temple was vulnerable. According to Tech, the majority of those in the temple at the time were…”

“Younglings,” Echo finished for him. As he was taking in Hunter’s words, he cast his eyes to the ground finding the Saleucami dirt comforting.

“Yeah, younglings,” Hunter confirmed. Echo felt him angle his body against the house facing him now.

“Why are you telling me this? You’ve sought me out, made sure we’re alone and out of earshot. Why isn’t this something the squad is being briefed on? And why are you grimacing more and more with each of my questions? Hunter, what the kriff are you trying to tell me?”

Echo’s voice started low and puzzled, but it rose with each statement. He managed to keep it to a harsh whisper since clearly Hunter wanted to make sure they had privacy, but his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to puzzle together what could possibly warrant this serious of a conversation. Thankfully, Hunter didn’t make him wait long.

“Echo, I’m sorry to have to tell you this. The clone battalion that marched on the temple? It was the 501st.”

Echo went still. He saw Hunter keep talking, but his ears were static as he processed the last sentence. “It was the 501st.”

When Echo watched the clones shoot down General Billaba, he’d accepted right then and there that he was going to have to process a lot of things that didn’t make sense to him in the coming future. He was proven right as he listened to the new emperor’s speech, as he saw Tarkin oversee clone evaluations, and as he saw Crosshair wearing all black armor. All of that he saw, he processed, and he adapted. It’s what ARC troopers did. But this? “It was the 501st”.

That one statement kept ringing in his head, refusing to be processed.

“Echo? Echo! Talk to me here,” Hunter’s worried voice broke through the static. Looking around him, Echo realized he’d gone from leaning against Cut and Su’s house to sitting on the ground with his knees in his chest, head held in his one hand. He didn’t remember sliding down nor Hunter coming down with him, putting an arm around his shoulder and giving it soft pats attempting to ground him.

Still feeling like he didn’t have complete control back in his limbs, Echo turned his head to look at Hunter. “That’s not possible, Hunter. Of all the battalions, no. It’s not possible.”

Hunter’s face softened as he took in Echo’s desperate eyes. He knew the look well – it was the same look he wore when he watched Crosshair walk into the hangar on Kamino. Desperate that what his eyes were seeing was a sick trick his exhausted mind was playing on him. He saw Echo struggling the same way as he let the news sink in.

“I know Echo, I know. I’m sorry.” It was all Hunter could come up with for now.

“They – they were there for the rescue. When the Chancellor was taken by Dooku. I spoke with Rex on the way to Kaller. He explained he, Jesse, and half the 501st were going to Mandalore while the other half stayed with Skywalker to go to Coruscant. I remember being envious he was getting to go fight with real mandalorians.” An amused huff passed Echo’s lips.

“The other battalions – they – there were on the fronts. It would’ve left just the Corrie Guard and the 501st.” His head thumped against the side of the house again. “But Hunter, Rex and Jesse were both on Mandalore. Who led the attack on the temple?” There was no one else left to lead. Everyone who would’ve been in command were sent with Rex. Even Commander Tano’s short return sent her to the warrior planet, and Echo admittedly wasn’t entirely up to date on the latest command structure of the 501st, but he was sure no one was left on Coruscant to…

Echo’s head snapped up, and he fought with everything he had to not hurl his lunch right there between his legs. “Hunter. Who led the attack? Who led the battalion into the temple?” Echo asked the questions so quietly that Hunter had to rely on his enhanced hearing to hear them.

“I think you know, Echo.”

“Say it.”

Echo felt more than heard the deep sigh Hunter let loose. “The article says the troops were led by General Skywalker,” Hunter finally admitted.

In war, you go through a lot of breaking points. They can be random, patterned, frequent, or rare. But every trooper has at least one story of when they finally felt it all cave in – the taxing missions, the losses, the anti-clone idealists, the deaths. The clones’ engineered adaptability could usually keep these episodes short, but that didn’t erase the mental scarring each one left. As an ARC trooper, Echo received additional mental simulations since it was assumed they’d see more gruesome realities. But right now, all of the mental simulations and breathing exercises in the galaxy couldn’t keep Echo upright.

It happened in slow motion. Hunter watched as Echo processed this last piece. First, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion like Hunter just spoke Huttese. Then, his eyes widened in shock when the words took meaning. Next, his pupils flared with anger like this was a tasteless prank Hunter was trying to pull. But when Hunter didn’t flinch and kept his face passive, Echo’s eyes showed a half second of acceptance before pooling with tears. In one last attempt to keep his emotions in check, Echo closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breaths. And then he crumbled.

The mental and physical exhaustion of the last 48 hours settled in, and Echo let this final hit tip him over the mental brink he’d been teetering over. The tears sprang quickly, and it didn’t take long for his body to be wracked with heavy sobs. As the world turned blurry, Echo found himself thinking one thing, “Thank the Maker Rex wasn’t there. Thank the Maker he doesn’t have to live with that nightmare on his conscience.”

The hangar of the Resolute was bustling as troopers loaded the last of the supplies. This was going to be one of their quicker relief missions, and the offload should only take an hour, tops. As the last troopers were loading into the LAAT/is ready to head down to the surface, Echo hopped up next to Rex.

“Fives make it on?” Rex asked him.

“And miss the opportunity to be revered like a hero? You know better than that, Rex,” Echo smirked at the captain as he gave an eye roll before putting his helmet on. Rex tried, but he was terrible at hiding his soft spot for the rambunctious ARC trooper.

“Listen up troopers, this is a simple offload and base rebuild. We’ll set the survivors up with basic medical, food, and communication capabilities. If time allows, we’ll assist with rebuilds of the school and main housing sector. Denal, you’ll take R2 and make sure their mainframe is online. Kix, you’ll head the medical setup. I’ll dole out the rest of duties on the ground. Understood?”

“Sir, yes sir,” answered in unison. Instead of relaxing though, all of the troopers on their ship, including Echo, remained at attention. Rex smirked to himself knowing what they were waiting for.

“Once your duties are complete, you have permission to free time,” he informed them. Soft whoops filled the LAAT/i. These types of relief missions were Echo’s favorites. Most of the time, they would unload the supplies, set up the required facilities, and then have to ship off to the next battle or war-torn zone. Occasionally though, they had a sliver of time where they could forget they were soldiers and just be.

2 hours later, Echo and Jesse had the common kitchen fully functioning, and they were now helping a group of clones and locals build shelter structures. The locals of this settlement on Haruun Kal were enthusiastic to receive the supplies and help from the clones. Pausing his hammering for a breather, Echo heard a commotion rise up behind him. Glancing in the direction of the noise, he found the source with ease.

Fives, Hardcase, and Appo were surrounded by a group of 12 younglings who were shouting questions at the clones. It didn’t take long for Echo to spot the holoball in Hardcase’s hand, and that answered nearly all of Echo’s questions. Gently, he nudges Jesse next to him.

“Looks like the boys are trying to get a holoball game going with the younglings. Wager on how quickly Fives gets knocked on his sheb?”

“Oh Maker no! They don’t think they’re playing without me!” Jesse exclaims before putting his hammer down and running over. Echo looked around and saw that the structure was complete, so he put his hammer back in the toolbox and wandered over to the group.

“What’s a holoball?”

“Do we have to run with it?”

“Does your armor give you super strength?”

“You’re twice as big as us! That’s not fair!”

“Can I hold your blaster?”

“Are you actually brothers?”

“Have you ever held a lightsaber?”

“Why do you have a tattoo on your face?”

“Ok ok! One question at a time. My brother here is going to explain the rules. Then, if you have any other questions about holoball, and holoball only, we’ll answer them before getting the game started!” Fives attempted to focus the younglings.

When more than 5 seconds of silence passed, Appo got started on explaining the game. Leaning against some crates off to the side, Echo felt a smile crossing his lips observing the younglings listening as if Appo was explaining how to obtain unlimited sweets. A moment later, he felt a presence come up beside him and settle on the crate next to him. Turning his head, Echo noticed Rex observing the scene.

“Holoball, huh? Nice touch. Hopefully, they know what they’re getting into,” Rex hummed. Echo noted Rex’s jaig eyes looking at him from his knee, and he appreciated that this is the most relaxed he thinks he’s ever seen his captain.

“Jesse and I think the younglings are going to run circles around Fives.”

Rex chuckled, “I don’t doubt that for a second. Fives is a skilled trooper, but he’s not the most athletic.”

“Hey Echo, we’re down a player! Wanna hop in?” Hardcase interrupted them from the makeshift field.

"I'm good Hardcase, just want to watch.” Then Echo tilted his head to the side. “What about you Captain? Wanna show them how it’s done?”

Echo was sure the look Rex gave him would skewer a rancor.

“Oh please please please Mr. Captain sir! You can be on our team!” A little girl with curly brown hair and big brown eyes looked up at Rex begging him to join. Echo had to keep his laugh in as he witnessed the stoic captain of the 501st melt directly under the youngling’s gaze. It was a similar tactic Echo saw Commander Tano use against the captain, and it appeared Rex was defenseless against it no matter the being.

“Yeah, Captain! Do it for the younglings!” Fives added with a cheeky grin. Rex shot him a quick glare, but he immediately softened again when he looked back down at the little girl.

“Ok cyar’ika, I’ll play.” The younglings erupted as Rex walked over.

To Echo’s glee, and Fives, Hardcase, and Appo’s horror, Rex turned out to be one heck of a holoball player. His team of younglings stood with rapt attention every time Rex kneeled down to draw up their next play. It was clear Rex’s leadership skills weren’t only for the battlefield because every play the younglings executed flawlessly, and soon they were leaving the other team in the dust.

Eventually, Fives gave the order to take down Rex with any means possible. Next thing they knew, Rex has carrying the holoball down the field along with 3 younglings hanging onto his arms and legs trying to take him down. At the last second, Rex was able to pass off to a young girl, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop himself from being tackled to the ground. Instead of stopping the little girl, the rest of the younglings decided this was the perfect time to take the 501st captain out.

Echo couldn’t believe his eyes. 4 younglings were piled on top of Rex tickling him, and Rex was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Seeing the effective strategy, the other younglings turned on Appo, Fives, and Hardcase and managed to take 2 of the 3 down. So there in front of him was the captain of the 501st, an ARC trooper, and Hardcase on the ground being tickled by younglings. Echo looked over at Appo and Jesse, and after a couple shocked seconds, the three of them were doubled over in laughter. They soon found this to be a grave mistake though, because Rex had managed to gain control of the situation again and rallied the younglings to take down the remaining troopers.

Hours later, back in the mess hall of the Resolute, many were gathered around to hear the story of the great holoball tournament of Haruun Kal. Many parts of the story were going to go down in 501st history if Fives had anything to do with it, but the legend of Captain Rex crying from laughter under a pile of younglings was already Echo’s favorite.

A gentle arm circled around Echo’s shoulders, bringing him back to the present. He felt Hunter give him a gentle nudge in his direction. A simple gesture saying, “I’m here. You’re not going through this alone. Use me if you need to.” If Echo had the energy, he’d take Hunter up on his offer, but his body was exhausted and all he could manage was occasionally wiping the tears from his eyes as he huddled over his knees. Always the leader, Hunter remained at his side allowing Echo whatever space he needed to work through the news.

“Do the others know?” Echo managed to ask when his sobs started to quiet down.

“Only Tech. He came directly to me, but it’s your play going forward.”

After what felt like an hour but was more likely a few minutes, Echo was able to even his breathing and lift his head up from his hand. Tilting his head up to the late evening sun, he let the final tendrils of shock and sorrow work their way out of his system. At last, he felt like he could take a full breath again.

“Thanks Hunter. I imagine that wasn’t an easy one.”

“Certainly wasn’t one of our training simulations, that’s for sure,” Hunter chuckled under his breath. Even Echo found it in himself to crack a small smile.

“Well, thanks for telling me. And for staying with me. That w-that was a hard one to process. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to remain here a little longer while I finish collecting myself.”

“Of course, Echo. I know you’ve only been with us a couple months, and everything’s kind of flipped upside down right now, but you’re one of us and whatever you need, we’ll be right here to help you.” Hunter placed a gentle hand on Echo’s shoulder as he spoke, and when he was done, he gave him a soft squeeze before standing up and heading back inside the house.

The sun was making its final descent behind the horizon giving Echo a sense of relief that this day was done. With a slight wobble in his knees, he stood himself up using the side paneling as support. Process and adapt – that’s all he could do. Taking each day one at a time. Feeling his body relax as he accepted this new galaxy, Echo gave a final glance at the sky. A deep, familiar blue blanketed the quiet farm as if it was trying to reach and wrap around him. A thought from earlier popped into his mind – even when gone, the 501st were there to help him see the next day.

Sensing that the peace and quiet had lasted long enough, the galaxy jolted Echo back into reality when he heard the front door slam and Hunter’s voice following. “Tech! Getting our ship impounded is not my idea of a solution!”

Gifting himself one final moment of quiet, Echo readied himself for the next unforgettable memory his newest brothers have no doubt gotten themselves into.  

[inkkayyy]

ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴀɴ ᴏᴜᴛꜱɪᴅᴇ ᴘᴇʀꜱᴘᴇᴄᴛɪᴠᴇ    >ꜱᴇᴏ ᴄʜᴀɴɢʙɪɴ  [ ᴛᴡᴏ ]

It’s a shock, one that makes Changbin freeze briefly before wrapping him in a tight hug.

The pair had been through hard times, but he had never seen her cry. Not once.

[ from an outside perspective]     [ sunhee’s masterlist ]

(wk: 2.1k)  (format: english in italics)

180207

When Seo Changbin first saw Kang Sunhee cry, it was an anomaly. 

Graduation is a sentimental time. It marked the end of an era. Debut was just around the corner- marked for a mere month away. And as he attends his last ever class- the day before grad, he begins to wonder if he’d miss it. Then their mathematics teacher hands out a sheet- a compulsory test (that won’t even be marked) just to ‘see how much they’d really learnt’.

He won’t miss it. Not really. He’ll miss the people. School gave him an excuse to see his friends on a regular basis. And he knows that will be hard once they graduate and he becomes an idol (disregarding the fact he’s halfway there because of the survival show). 

He and Sunhee walk back to the dorms, talking about graduation. “I still can’t believe they aren’t coming.”

She frowned, eyebrows creasing. “Who’s not coming?”

“The members- they told us last night, remember?” He paused to look at her.

It takes a few seconds but the conversation seemed to dawn on her as a sad and miserable ‘Oh’ tumbled past her lips. 

“Guess it will just be you and me yeah? Maybe I’ll finally get to meet your sister.” It’s a teasing change of subject one so blatantly obvious but he entertained anyway. Forcing Sunhee to talk about something she didn’t want to was never a good idea.

So he thinks that’s it. They moved on talking about the upcoming shoot for their debut trailer- about how he’d been grumpy about the undercut they gave him- irritated by the fringe and how she’d had to do some voice over dubbing.

But that wasn’t it. Because later, into the hours of the night when they’re all in their dorm, cramped and messy as usual, Sunhee crawled into his bunk sobbing. 

Her breath came out in quiet hiccups and even in the dark he can see the way light reflects off her tear tracks. The tiny red dot from the smoke alarm, moonlight streaming in from the window, Hyunjin’s night light that he leaves on so none of them trip over in the middle of the night.

It’s a shock, one that makes Changbin freeze briefly before wrapping him in a tight hug. They’re a similar height (she’s actually slightly taller than him- which she never lets him forget) but with how Sunhee's curled herself up next to him, on the tiny single mattress, she felt so small.

The pair had been through hard times, but he had never seen her cry. Not once. 

When they’d been in the survival show, he assumed she did- they all did. But Sunhee made an effort to remove herself from the situation. She would steel her nerves and blink away the moisture brimming her eyes.

This was different. 

Her breath hitched with every inhale and he could feel the way her hand fisted tight against the sleeves of his hoodie to avoid the tell tale shake they tremmored with. He’s got one leg draped over his, her head curled onto his chest and she tries to stay quiet. He snakes one hand around her waist, rubbing circles onto her back, as his other slowly took her fist away from his hoodie, instead choosing to hold it with his own. Her nails would have dug into his skin if they were any longer but her habit of biting them when stressed prevented that.

“What's wrong?” Changbin murmured. 

Sunhee’s breath hitched once more as she forced the words out. “I’m going to be alone. At graduation. No one is coming to see me finish school.”

Oh. He really should have realised that one a bit sooner. Sunhee struggled with Korea- not in the sense of directions of the language (at least not as much any more) but the fact it wasn’t Australia. He’d been told that she used to get really homesick, enough that the company had allowed her to actually travel home the year before, something trainees were rarely offered. 

“I’ll be there.” He murmured, holding her a little closer. “And the others wanted to be, you know that.”

“Still, it’s a little pathetic isn’t it? No family coming to my graduation?” She scoffed, a wet sound betrayed by the way her tears lead onto his hoodie. “Aren’t your parents supposed to take you out for jjajangmyeon or something? One of the girls in class asked me where i was going.“

“I’m not sure Mum’s picked out some place for us, I think it’s fancier then you're used to but you’ll manage just fine.”

“Us?”

“Yeah,” his brows furrowed, glancing down at her face. Sunhee’s eyes were shiny with tears. “I told you that we’d eat together after graduation. Did you forget?”

She blinked. “Your parent’s are okay with that?”

He tried not to laugh too loudly, but the rumble of his chest was not lost to Sunhee. “I think they’d skin me if I didn’t- no way they were gonna let you eat alone after graduation.”

And that was true. Sunhee had spent weekends at the Seo family house, come over for dinners and the public holidays that were offered to her, truly Changbin’s mother loved Sunhee. So of course, when talking to Changbin about after graduation lunch, she’d insisted that Sunhee was to come with them- if she didn’t already have plans. He could have sworn he’d asked her, and his mum had already booked a table for five, but maybe it had slipped his mind.

“I just thought I'd go with the others who aren’t at school for the day.” She whispered. 

“Nope, you’re coming with me.”

“Okay.“ There’s a smile ghosting her lips as she tucks herself a little tighter against his side, and Changbin messes with his duvet until it’s draped over the both of them. 

Sleep comes easily after that.

And the next morning she was still there, and Jeongin who was rousing from his own bunk looked at them curiously, but Changbin just waved him off with one hand. It’s not until they all start to disperse, with Hyunjin and Seungmin off to their own schools, and the others heading to schedules, does Changbin call his mum.

He waits until Sunhee’s in the shower- for the sound of the water running before he steps cautiously out onto the balcony, February chill cutting through his uniform blazer with ease.

“How’s my highschool graduate feeling?” She teases, clearly thrilled that both her kids are now finished school.

“Ah- good.” He replied, a little embarrassed by the eagerness in her voice. “Can I ask you a favour mum?”

“Sure.”

“Could you pick up some flowers for Sunhee? The other members can’t come to our graduation and neither can her family.”

“Oh of course!” His mum sounded thrilled and it made Changbin smile. “What kind does she like, any favourites? Or should I get ones to match her room so they look nice in the dorm?”

“I think any would be fine- but maybe something simple, she’s not one for dramatics.”

And sure enough, when they make it to the hall, once their homeroom teachers had handed over their diplomas with a huge smile (maybe she was glad to be rid of them, maybe she was just thrilled the lot of them made it- who knows) Changbin’s mother holds two bouquets. One was a bunch of baby’s breath, swaddled in brown paper that she extended to him with a grin. “My boy!”

She was hugging him so tight he might’ve passed out, but eventually she relented, running a hand down his hair and onto his cheek. She looks so proud.

Changbin’s dad pulled him forwards for a firm handshake but gave up halfway through and hugged him instead. His sister followed suit, taking time to mess up his hair as well.

But when Changbin turned around, he was met once again, with the sight of Sunhee’s teary eyes. 

Her arms were wrapped tightly around Changbin’s mum, who coo’s and hugs her back. In one hand, Sunhee held the second Bouquet, one of white tulips. She sniffled and blinked at him. Changbin smiled.

“Oh, Sunhee dear- stop crying, it’s your graduation day!” His mum exclaimed, pulling back to hold Sunhee’s face in her palms, brushing gentle thumbs across her cheeks to whip away the stray tears. She offered a wet laugh before replying “You bought me flowers.”

“That we did.” 

And then Sunhee threw herself at Changbin, an embrace that was so whole, then he stumbled back a step as her arms flew over his shoulders. And it was a different sort of crying, one that was laced with laughter and tipped with unhidden smiles. He liked it more than the tears he’s seen before.

She felt warm against him, and her chest vibrated with the laughs that tumbled from her lips. He squeezed tightly, and knew this would not be a moment he forgot. He would certainly not pretend to understand her, not when the members turned up five minutes later, with a camera man, saying it was a prank that they’d been asked to film.

And when Felix hugged Sunhee so tightly, congratulating her on graduating in Korea of all places she swayed in his arms, and when Minho threw an arm over her shoulder, bringing her close, she was cautious to hold the bouquet gently- she didn’t dare let anyone else touch her flowers, nor did she stray from Changbin’s side.

Their manager informed them that all nine of the members will be having jajangmyeon for dinner and that it would be filmed. The others (those who could attend, Seungmin and Hyunjin sadly at school) headed back for schedules soon after. She’s affected by it, the fact that they did show up after all, and she would have people to celebrate her graduation with, but cried about it anyway- how much it bothered he couldn’t quite tell, she was alway good at hiding that away. But he knows enough, he’s not sure how but he does. So he slipped his hand into hers and tugged her away from his family for a bit, heading over to their classmates.

Changbin’s sister followed the pair around as the designated photographer, taking photos of them with friends, Jihoon shows off the bright pink flowers his brother had picked out as Jaewoo takes great joy in spinning his diploma around on one finger, and Sunhee sends the picture of their friend group, all seven of them, off to her mum. 

And when it’s time to leave, she grinned the whole car ride to the restaurant, happily chatting away with Changbin’s mum.

There’s a moment, just one, when her phone pings and it comes back with a picture from her mum; both her brother and Mum seated at the dining room table, a vase full of flowers  (he think’s they’re daisies?) between them and plates of jajangmyeon on the table. Sunhee almost cries again, but she blinks them away with a sniffle and sends back a series of emoticon hearts.

He doesn’t understand Kang Sunhee, she’s an anomaly and always will, but he’ll take the pieces she offers, learn about the parts she chooses to show him and hold her close when she needs it- because Changbin knows she would too.

[ <<< ᴘʀᴇᴠɪᴏᴜꜱ ]  [ from an outside perspective]   [ ɴᴇxᴛ >>> (coming soon) ]

[sasusakusatellite]

title: Sand into Silver summary: "You know, I didn't mind at all. Not having a ring." Sasuke didn't either. Not until now. SasuSaku. Set in Sasuke Retsuden (light novel spin-off). Oneshot.  notes:   Contains spoilers for Sasuke Retsuden. Reading this light novel in Japanese (been studying the language for the past 6 years), so I have to do rough translations of the relevant dialogues (there's 4 of them in italics). Also, I lost access to my main account viasatellite (still waiting for tumblr support to get back to me). :/

and HAPPY SASUSAKU MONTH!! for ssmonth22 prompt “Confession"

_____________

Uchiha Sasuke has never been a man of words. He does things the way he knows how, his reasoning very much personal, and even when questioned, finds it a waste of time to explain himself.

He doesn't need to, he reasons. Not when his actions speak for themselves. And they don't lie; he doesn't hide. Over the years of being married to Sakura, he has learned how not to. She deserves nothing less than the real him, after all.

.

.

Sakura is his wife, his family, and all the missions, the distance, and absence in their wake won't ever change that.

"Yeah, but still, you're married so you should always be together."

He stares ahead, recalling Jiji's words. He thought of explaining, of dwelling on the subject for a little longer and presenting his counter-argument. Sakura is his wife, and will always be his family, and under the same sky, they're together.

He didn't.

But as if to contradict himself more than Jiji, he gives in to the feeling that has been boiling inside ever since that conversation. He has yet to put a name to it.

So he takes Sakura's hand, touches her bare finger, and with chakra, forms sand into silver.

"There. Now you have a ring," he says tersely before letting go.

It's his response, albeit late, to Jiji and his insistence on the importance of proximity and proof of bond.

"Don't you wear wedding rings in your country?"

But they're Sasuke and Sakura, and what they share is beyond those. It has never been about being visible.

Sasuke starts walking ahead, not wanting to linger on how his wife is now admiring her hand with the silver band and a beautiful ruby on top of it, glinting in the moonlight.

They are, after all, together here for a mission, and that comes first as their priority. Not him wanting to prove anything to anyone, not him feeling —

"Are you jealous?" Sakura asks, and even without turning to look at her face, he knows that tone.

"No," he answers, continuing ahead.

"What if someone like me took her away from you?"

Sakura has had thousands of patients, and Jiji is just one of them. It can't be the first time that someone has admired her for her kindness and dedication to her work. Jiji probably only admires her a bit…differently.

But Sakura will never be taken away. Sasuke knows that and trusts that to be true. There's no reason to be jealous. He can't be.

Sakura catches up to him.

"Sasuke-kun…!" she hums as she stops by his side, looking at him, a twinkle in her eyes.

Sasuke pauses and faces her. "I'm not jealous."

She smiles some more. Then, it occurs to him. Sakura never hides anything. Between the two of them, it's he who has more reasons to hide.

She stretches her hand out against the moonlight once more, her eyes sparkling with adoration.

"You know, I didn't mind at all. Not having a ring."

"I didn't think we'd need —"

"But this is so beautiful! Thank you…I'm so happy," she sighs, resting her head lightly against his shoulder.

He smiles to himself. "I should've gotten you one before."

"I didn't think it was important. And I like it more this way," she responds happily, still admiring her ring.

It's the little things that he misses the most when he's away from her for long periods of time. Like the scent of her hair: a reminder that someone awaits his return, that he is dearly loved, and most of all, a reminder of everything he needs to protect.

"Sakura."

She looks up.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

Alarmed, she steps away to get a better look on his face. "What for?"

Sakura is his wife, and nothing will change that. But he now wonders if it's okay, if she views physical distance with the same nonchalance that he does, a logical necessity for their line of work. And if she's okay.

A part of him wants to ask if she ever gets tired of welcoming him home only to let him go so soon again.

"For having to leave you each time, for all those years."

She heaves a sigh, and he detects a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"You are my husband," she starts, stepping closer to Sasuke.

She holds out the hand with the ring he made for her and touches his cheek.

"And nothing will change that," she continues, smiling ever so warmly, her thumb caressing his skin.

He leans into her touch, closing his eyes briefly, the gentle contrast between the warmth of her skin and the metal coldness of the ring reminding him of their bond. He is married to this wonderful woman, to his Sakura.

He turns his face, pressing a soft kiss into her palm. He opens his eyes and smirks when he sees her blushing furiously. She pulls her hand back and turns the other way, folding her arms as if to hide the hand now in heat.

In a huff she complains, "Doesn't mean I don't miss you every time though!"

And in one motion, he's there behind her, his arms around her waist, his face next to her ear. He feels her tensed up for a moment before slowly relaxing into his embrace.

He relishes the softness of her hair, breathing her in.

"I'm glad you're here, Sakura."

She hums in response.

And all thoughts of the mission forgotten for a moment, he slides down to her neck.

"You're right. I was jealous," he rasps.

He feels her shiver. "And I can give you more than a ring…"

He places a firm kiss on the side of her neck, his lips tracing up to the back of her ear, down her jawline, never getting enough.

"Sasuke-ku —"

"…to show just how much."

He spins her, claiming her lips, intent on showing and making his actions speak for themselves.

His hands all over her.

It's been a while.

…

Fin.

(almost went from fluff to smut real quick. O.O)