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vind3miat0r · 5 months

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Send Me a Character & I'll Tell You game

Avoir (I had to lol)

KSJDHFKD YOUUUU /nm /lh

My first impression: oaugh he was so mean to us in the beginning :( honestly? i did not like him (shocker i know). setting aside not having context for why he was acting like that, his character just did not strike a chord with me. the only thing that i really liked about him is that he yaps a lot and uses fancy words, and im like a moth to a flame when it comes to that shit

My impression now: THAT IS MY HUSBAND RIGHT THERE!! ughhh i love him and his character development :( hes so tragic and just. augh. he lives permanently in my brain now, the brainrot is real. i dont think im "could quote word for word" levels of obsessed, but ive listened to his audios enough times to know what hes going to say next in some instances. really a whole 180 i did there

Favorite thing about that character: his absolute adoration for Starlight. in the flashbacks, you can hear how much he loves and cares for them, and i can practically see him gazing at them starstruck, its beautiful. literally makes my cry anytime he says "my starlight" im so deadass rn 😭

Least favorite thing: honestly theres not really anything i dont like about him?? hes literally my favorite character so ofc im gonna be biased 😭😭 if anything, id like to hear more abt his past. i know he told us that story abt him and Circinus, and presumably there was more from the first time they were in the trap together, and id really like to see that, as well as their initial growing closer (again, ik that we saw some of that, but id would still like to see a more detailed version of it. like, who dropped the first "i love you"? and etc). other than that, i cant name anything off of the top of my head that i dont like abt him

Favorite line/scene: OAUGH. I HAVE SO MANY.. for scenes, definitely the entirety of "Back to The Real World With Your Demon." i was screaming internally the whole way through, and Avior realizing Starlight had gotten their memories back will always have me in a chokehold. and shoutout to his hbs and springback audios too. for lines, "The things I feel for you fly in the face of every justifiable fear and suspicion that this situation has burned into me" GETS ME EVERY TIME MAN, HE SOUNDS SO SOFT AND IN LOVE AND GRRRHASGHFDGF

Favorite interaction that character has with another: considering that hes literally only ever interacted with Starlight and Circinus on screen, id have to go with when hes helping Starlight get to sleep and (again) his hbs and springback audios. while i do like angst (why else would i listen to his playlist mutiple times per month), im such a sucker for fluff its not even funny

A character that I wish that character would interact with more: again, considering that hes only ever interacted with Starlight and Circinus, there is a whole slew of characters that id love to see him interact with! probably another demon character, like Warden or Gavin, those would be fun!

Another character from another fandom that reminds me of that character: theres a character in a fandom named Caduceus Clay that my bf rlly likes, and i think him and Avior have a similar vibe :)

A headcanon about that character: augh i have so manyyyy 😭 ill just put down a few lol

Avior studied Greek and Roman mythology as a hobby during his first years on Elegy. he was at first intrigued by how thousands of years ago, the Greek had named the stars (which as you know, the d(a)emons are named after), and he just fell into a rabbit hole of legends and mytology after looking into it

he acted as a steward to Warden (the lore implications this would have would be CRAZY methinks)

after getting Starlight out of the trap, the areas of his body where his magic had torn itself away from him became white scars that resemble explosion scars. they're on his hands, arms, general chest area, and most of his tail. he also gained a facial scar from the fall he experienced

A song that reminds of that character: Upon Cobblestone Streets by The Family Crest. a while back i saw someone say that this song rlly fits Avior and Starlight's dynamic, i gave it a listen and immediately cried cuz they were RIGHT!!

An unpopular opinion about that character: two words: BODY💥WORSHIP💥 thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#watch out guys i yap a lot in this one #its about Avior what do you expect #ahEM #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redactedaudio #redacted avior #redacted starlight #by extension #vinn says fandom things #vinn says really dumb stuff #vinn yapping #vinn answers asks #ask game

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halucynator · 10 months

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Hellllooo,

Omg I really needed more swiftie mutuals <3

Please rant about all things you like, i love rants, gosh we seem to have so many close interests, I am not a writer tho, but I do read, effectively making me a reader which doesn't sound as cool, now that I think about it.

My fav Taylor song at the moment is "Slut!". I cannot get that out of my head. I mean "got lovesick all over my bed", I die a little everytime I hear that.

Fav Olivia song at the moment is logical (kinda like you username aah). I still CANNOT get over "can't take a joke, can't get you off". Like please kill me already.

Fav Sabrina song at the moment is probably "because i liked a boy". (damn who hurt me?)

And fav conan song at the moment, "Lookalike"

Tell me yours?

Nyc.

hiiii

omg thank you thank you thank youuuu <33

okay so i love a lot of things some of them are pretty questionable but I'm questionable literally ask anyone on the discord server so its fine. anywhoo, i love taylor, maisie, gracie, phoebe, alix page, lucy (dacus not myself I'm not THAT narcissistic), olivia hardy (from wasia project) julien, conan, liv, sab (and @loserdiaz but that's a known fact) and so many other people to the point that even i cant keep track. oh and i love laufey, mitski and lyn lapid just bc.

my current fav by wasia project is petals on the moon but ur so pretty especially live from the studio is so gooddd

anywayss, reading is really cool thats how i got into writing (which is the best thing ever ik /hj) i also really really like reading bc it makes me smart and it's super fun

which is your favourite book series?? mine is lockwood and co as if you couldn't already tell by the amount of times I've mentioned it i also really love agggtm series bc why wouldn't it its so good. I'm sure i love so many more book series but my memory sucks (it does not but I'm lazy so I'll use that as an excuse)

anywhooo, i love scream which is weird bc i watched the first one when i was 10 (i know, who let me do that???) and i... liked it? (I'm very questionable i know) but i also tend to rant about it as if its real life (like WHY DID THEY KILL OF *insert name of dead character* IM SO MAD) and not a movie so I'm a bit annoying sometimes but pls don't tell me that otherwise I'll start crying /j

hmm my favourite taylor song atm would be "is it over now?" or "now that we don't talk" bc at the moment i resonate so well with those songs (ikr my life sounds like a nightmare: it is but it isn't really? idk) at yes i totally agree with the "got lovesick all over my bed statement but" also "love thorns all over this rose" and omg "you're not saying you're in love with me, BUT !! YOURE !! GONNA !! DO !!" like who gave taylor the right to be such a mastermind (funny, right? no? okay.) like the entire song, heck the entire album is so GOOD. HER ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY IS SO GOOD. (this is totally normal fan behaviour btw)

favourite liv song atm is probably lacy but i love all of the songs all the album (and yes logical is soooo good i mean i have to love it otherwise my url is meaningless) but my favourite lyric from the entire album is probably "we both drew blood but man THOSE CUTS were NEVER EQUAL!!" from the grudge (also one of my top 3) bc that hits DEEP. (bc the cuts were deep, i know I'm so funny /j)

favourite sab song atm is prolly cindy lou who / opposite (been there) / a nonsense christmas. i cheated but i simply cant choose one shes too good. also super funny bc cindy lou who and opposite are like sad vibes and then a nonsense christmas i want you to [redacted] and [redacted] me on the couch while we [redacted] presents (sorry i just think I'm so funny when I'm not but dont tell me that i wanna be a stand up comedian no I'm just kidding I'm not a failure. IM JOKING) (also regarding bc i liked a boy, I agree. who hurt you???)

anyways, my favourite conan song atm is prolly the best known option "heather" BUT i also like "the cut that always bleeds" the entire of kid krow tbh

okay i wrote a lot asdxcasdcvafd sorry

alsooo, you didnt ask this but my favourite gracie abrams song atm is "where do we go now?" and "cedar" (you arent mine) bc its such a heartbreaking song especially when you can relate to it. ooh and i also love camden, painkillers, rockland and long sleeves but they're all pretty depressing so if you don't like sad songs they're prolly not for you.

and THANK YOU for this ask this was so fun send me more sometimes <333

#taylor swift #gracie abrams #maisie peters #olivia rodrigo #sabrina carpenter #conan gray #boygenius #phoebe bridgers #lucy dacus #julien baker #alix page #music #moots <3 #luce posts 💌

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real-odark · 7 months

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25apcsb enjoyers listen to me talk about(/kind of review it for you? except not really because i will never say anything bad about this production) my favorite production of the show!

ever.

MAD theater i LOVE YOU.

i saw their production live (the first time ive ever seen this show live or a production by this company) and it was AMAZING. this is my favorite cast for this show hands down and let me show you some stuff and why you should love them, too !!

(IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ME TALK ABOUT IT/WOULD RATHER SEE THE CAST, I HAVE PICTURES AND A VIDEO NEAR THE BOTTOM OF THE POST!!)

here are all of the spellers! arent they the cutest :3 they all portray their characters PERFECTLY, and im currently on a hunt to see all of them in more performances because WOW . i know the point of the show is for it to be obvious these arent preteens playing them but all three of the girls were so cute honestly id trust them if they said they were it was so good. im gonna talk about all of them too !;;

their leaf was obsessed with sonic (sporting a nice sonic cape), and had a very good dynamic with every character and audience member he interacted with ! he say by me when he was eliminated and we talked a bit, and met his actor after the show. ALSO, playing logainne's dad with his soda and being the soccer mom ever is 100% approved by me . the way he effortlessly exchanged between the two roles was . AH.

olive was PERFECT. i cried at the i love you song so bad her little pom poms and im just mhejkn, her fidgeting with the strings of her cat hoodie whenever she was nervous was a great detail just small things like that

CHIP. chip chip chip. boy scout of the year, and JESUS ON A SCOOTER. he was so sassy and his little shenanigans made this character so good hed bite his lip and do little faces like that all the time he never broke id trust this man with my life

barfee , so nerdy i cannot resist this guy. he looks like he smells like hamburger and you know what? perfect. meeting him afterwards, he said that his shoes (for magic foot) were glow up sketchers and both of them were supposed to glow but only ONE did (the other broke) a few nights before and what a champ because he just went with it and CHANGED THE FOOT HE WAS USING to match the one that glew. i wouldve had a breakdown but go richard brown. through the whole show his bad accent and wet dog looks intrigued me

marcy was literally perfection, she had ME stressin out for her. i was sitting by the actresses' grandma and she was so fond of her its so cute. her singing voice is AMAZING there is a clip online i know of its on the theatre's tiktok but to hear that in person when its the song that got me into the show was wow. i relate to her very much and she made this character so personal even with just being in bits and pieces of the show

and finally, logainne. god she was SO FUNNY. the interactions between her and her dads, as well as the other spellers, were hilarious but also so real feeling. her actress, taylor,'s dedication to this role really showed and it worked awesome in the character. her appearance and outfit is the BEST for logainne btw??? no ones talking bout that its so so her ...,

^ also since i mentioned leaf's water bottle, logainne had a pride one + barfee had a pokemon cup. i think olive had one but if she did it was in the bleachers so i couldn't see, but i love how all of their bottles (yes even something just SMALL LIKE THAT) represent their characters the details in this show are sjsjd

here is a picture with the adults too! ill talk abt those three next;;

rona. again, had me crying in the stands. she was adorable the whole show though, with her little quips and interchanges !! her + panch were so funny and also shes GORGEOUS?? but her soccer mom teacher type deal is exactly what i picture rona as.

panch reminded me very very much of ron swanson. he was so sarcastic and hes just such a big guy with all these kids it played off so well !! i love so many different interpretations of panch like twink panch and butch panch, but i think this burly panch with his soft, creepy side for rona was my favorite !

and now, lastly, mitch. HE KEPT BUSTING OUT AS THE SIDE CHARACTER WITH THE AMAZINF SINGING VOICE AND IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD EVERY TIME ??? mitch himself was so so awesome, the tattoos and drug apparell (i am struggling spelling that) fit so well. and also, he just looks so mitch mahoney doesnt he?? like. the character fits the actor so well id be shocked seeing anything else from them because mitch was the perfect role... again, his brief dynamic with all the kids is so goofy

the set;;

it was so cute and the details in the posters on the wall were so childish it made me giggle. they even advertised their theatre's next production, which will be urinetown!! they had seats ON the stage (which is where i sat, naturally), which i think makes for a fun and realistic effect !! when the spellers were eliminated, theyd sit there (they had reserved spots) :3

its evident that all of the cast members had very good relatioships and play off that REALLY well

a little photo dump of them!! on the MAD theatre social medias, they have more and clips of them, too!! id definitely reccomend checking them out because the show's closed :3

overall; i have so much love for this cast and MORE PEOPLE NEED TO AS WELL!!! so here you go 😊😊

#25apcsb #rona lisa peretti #douglas panch #mitch mahoney #olive ostrovsky #logainne schwartzandgrubenierre #leaf coneybear #marcy park #william barfee #chip tolentino #jett talks (me)#musical theatre #theatre

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kurikive · 2 years

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ditto thoughts!!

guys theres just something abt ditto....... I SERIOUSLY END UP CRYING EVERYTIME I WATCH THE MV LIKE ITS RIDICULOUS HOW HARD I SOB

idk if its the mv or the song or the theories or what ever but i just end up with tears in my eyes LIKE ITS BADDD

the song is so good in a way that it's scary,, HANNI'S woohoowoohoo~ sounds almost haunting and i just cant help but imagine if i was ban heesoo and i was in that forest and heard that voice in the distance id be like yea these r my last moments theyre not gonna find my body lol LIKE OH. MY. GOD.

i fucking love all the theories especially the one where heesoo represents the fans and newjeans being not actually is like a mirror to parasocial relationships??? like the comfort idols bring that it makes you feel closer to them almost in a way it makes u think ur their friend but theyre not actually physically there for you,, REWATCHING THE MV AFTER READING THAT MADE ME SOB SO HARDDD

also i read that the deer or like the meaning of having a deer cross ur way represents that its time to check if youre living in the past, as if you cant move on from your memories AND LIKE......WHAT IF NWJNS ARE DEAD AND AND AND-

it could mean a lot of things tbh,, i was also thinking abt the guy (choi hyunwook's character) and the way him and heesoo walked away in the end together,, like he was the only person we see interact with heesoo apart from newjeans but they're not real or wtv and they walked together after the scene where the deer walked away from heesoo so i think maybe that represents how she's leaving the comfort that the idols give her and is choosing to be comforted by an actual person in her life thats real and not a parasocial relationship,, i could be wrong

ALSO I read from a ktokki's theory on twt that when the girls were drawing the girl on the blackboard it could be heesoo (who represents fans) but since the drawing is a little different from what heesoo looks like it could mean its like them saying "we also imagine what you look like, we also think of you even when we dont know you physically or personally" and i just thought it was a cute theory

im probably ranting sooo much and im not even finished thats whats worse,, i saw from a twt post again from a ktokki that in some of the concept pics, hanni is the odd one out,, like in some pictures shes the only one thats looking directly at the camera and in others shes the only one not looking at it. theres also some other ones where her face is covered completely and/or her back is facing the camera (even when the others are turned around too, some parts of their faces can be seen but hanni's face us just... not there???)

ie.

i have absolutely no idea what this means maybe we'll find out in OMG or the next comeback but its super freaky like some pics were honestly horror movie worthy and some mv scenes too!!!! and i actually really love that!!! like i enjoy so much when a music video looks normal on the surface but theres something so eerie abt it and its creeping me out like when i get the feeling something abt this is wrong and i wanna know what it is

anyways,, as you can see i REALLY enjoyed this comeback and i am super hyped for OMG i seriously cant waittt,, sorry for ranting so much and id love to hear your thoughts on the mv too if you'd like to reblog or leave a comment!! also tell me if youd like to see me do things like these for other songs or groups maybe i can open up more with my thoughts on here since i dont post a lot ^^ thanks for staying and reading

#—kuritalk...#i.... ranted #LOVED LOVED LOVED ditto

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petertingle-yipyip · 5 months

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POOKIE now that the album has been out for a while what are your fav songs????

me personnally i cant pick they all already mean sm to me😭😭

once i saw it was a DOUBLE ALBUM i decided to wait till i had enough time to listen in full so i will listen right now and pull a you and give live ratings! (skip to the bottom for an overall feeling)

fortnight 8/10 - this is so ex coded holy “i love you and it’s ruining my life” literally of her relationships at some point, wow. i will say that post is an interesting collab for this type of song but i don’t hate it

the tortured poets department 6/10 - i liked the bridge (i think that’s what it is) the best. lyrically it’s good but not my fave and saying that ab the title track i hope doesn’t get me yelled at by anyone

my boy only breaks his favorite toys 9/10 - i claimed this one from the tracklist so i knew i was gonna like it. the best she stays with as she sings the title is perfect for an edit

down bad 7.5/10 - i didn’t expect her to come out cussing at me, okay ms swift. not a skip but not a daily listen either. crying at the gym is relatable though

so long, london 8/10 - i used this as a fic title lol but the cadence really shows how angry/tired she was by the time they split. the lyrics here are so powerful too. her imagery is always so beautiful

but daddy i love him 6/10 - idk why but this just doesn’t resonate with me the way i thought it would. still good though but i wouldn’t save it turn it on from my own phone

fresh out the slammer 9/10- having that one person who is your immediate thought, the driving force behind you, your everything is all i want and that yearning keeps me up at night

florida!! 4/10- nothing about this song drew me in 🫣

guilty as sin? 8/10 - “i choose you and me religiously” so matt murdock coded

who’s afraid of little old me? 10/10 - SO ex coded and rep coded “i was gentle, i was tame till the circus life made me mean” or “you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me” TELL ME THAT ISNT OUR GIRL EXODUS

i can fix him (no really i can) 6.5/10 - me with every fictional man i come across the “ woah, maybe i can’t” at the end is crazy, basically agreeing that he was such a mess but i was hoping to like this one a little more

loml 9/10- joe put her through it, holy shit

i can do it with a broken heart 10/10 - immediately can tell she was writing about herself performing from another perspective and i love the juxtaposition of a pop-dance type beat with these tougher lyrics “i cry a lot but im so productive” is literally me

the smallest man who ever lived 7.8/10 - the title feels like the inverse of the “loudest woman this town has ever seen” lyric and to me, it really highlights got she was always this icon whereas he was always ducking and dodging and not willing to live in that spotlight with her

the alchemy 5/10 - i feel like the message of this song went right over my head

clara bow 6/10 - it’s a cute song that (i think) documents the growth of her career and maybe the comparisons/comments she gotten as she’s worked and how people compare new stars to her

the black dog 5/10- it doesn’t really resonate with me

imgonnagetyouback 8.5/10 - is this the one some people are saying is similar to get him back! by liv? bc the only similarity i hear is the concept of not knowing if you’re gonna rekindle or beat the shit out of your ex

the albatross 8.5/10 - it’s like she knows exodus and elektra. “she is here to destroy you” but i think this is another way of her reclaiming her image/reputation through acknowledging and challenging what men/media say about her

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus 8.8/10 - honestly idk what ab this song but it’s so beautiful. i can’t explain it but its like a ballroom dance

how did it end? 9/10 - this song gives the vibes of a movie scene where two people are on swings at the night and then suddenly, one swing is empty (but still going) and the other person is just teetering on their toes

so high school 5/10 - gives me early ts vibes and it’s cute but not really me

i hate it here 7/10- not my favorite but i do like the beat

thanK you aIMee 6/10 - this is directed at KIM or am i tripping? also the guitar reminds me of debut era for some reason

i look in peoples windows 7.5/10 - this song is yearning, wanting to see that person just one more time and its me wondering if i’ll see my ex again, just to know what’d happen if he saw me again after everything he’s said to me

the prophecy 9/10 - i really love the chorus

cassandra 5/10 - didn’t really stick out to me and became background noise 🫣

peter 7.8/10 - its really cute and ik it’s probably more of a peter pan reference but the editors need to get on it and do peter x mj

the bolter 8.7/10 - i was not reviled by anyone except my own father so (we’re better now though) but i do run from intimacy

robin 6/10 - slow, sweet, cute little song

the manuscript 9/10- instantly loved it (forgot what else i wanted to say here)

overall, is a lyrically beautiful album. there’s so much emotion in the music and her delivery. her imagery is so beautiful as always. personally, i won’t say i love it but it is so so impactful. releasing 31 songs in one project is unheard of so i tip my hat to her ability to tell these stories with such grace and eloquence through such a marathon of an album. i like that you can hear bits of her previous albums in some of the songs and it is a very mature project imo. you can tell how much this meant to her and how much of herself she’s poured out. its an overall ~7.8/10 for me but i would recommend everyone to give it a listen

#fallingfavourites #en talks: music #the tortured poets department #taylor swift ttpd

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spidermanifested · 1 year

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returning to the concept of greed playlists: im actually really proud of the one ive been working on. its not "done" yet, in the sense that i like to make my character playlists go in chronological order and theres still comparatively few songs representing the latter half of his arc, but what ive got so far is very solid in my humble imho. so. heres a big post with all the songs ive got in it so far, particularly relevant lyric excerpts, and explanations for how they fit into my Grand Vision

act i: greed the avaricious

softy by kiltro

there's a boy who stalks these halls, he never leaves and when he talks, he talks a lot always by mistake there's a man who runs the show you never see and where he walks, all our breathing stops, how he quiets things

i figured this was a good one to start off the playlist, it sets up the quiet unease of greeds existence. also starting with a song called "softy" on a playlist about the Ultimate Shield and building everything else on top of that is a move of genius i think

shadow's keeper by black rebel motorcycle club

what is the purpose if you feel so incomplete? what is the reason if it beats you to your knees? what do you keep? your eyes were wide but there's a world that keeps you blind a painted serpent turning water into wine seeking light

hes starting to acknowledge how unfulfilled he feels, and the shadow/light motifs are an extra treat considering he uses the metaphor himself. ive done my best to continue that theme throughout the playlist. especially fun if you take the "painted serpent turning water into wine" as the "world that keeps (him) blind" AND the thing "seeking light", aka father, and combine that with the later verse:

you're begging for the truth but now you've seen too much you're living in your head but never feel their touch and everything was buried by the deep blue sky help me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna see the light just tell me to breathe 'cause I don't wanna be denied

he doesnt want whatever grand plans father has in store, he wants a family that cares about him. truth mentioned also, as well, give it up for the truth

willard! by will wood

i've never understood what humans do and want it's quite confusing to me to try to connect never learned how I should feel, instincts somehow stunted just seem haunted by my stupid urge to protect

replace "humans" with homunculi and you have a whole song about how his chimeras are the only ones who really get him. "being haunted by (his) stupid urge to protect" is also such a greed line

hast thou considered the tetrapod by the mountain goats

and alone in my room i am the last of a lost civilization and i vanish into the dark and rise above my station

he, father and the other homunculi quite literally are the last of a lost civilization. also

held under these smothering waves by your strong and thick-veined hand but one of these days i'm gonna wriggle up on dry land

^these lines make me cry on their own already and when i place them in greedcontext it has an effect

what's a devil to do? by harley poe

oh, when the saints go marching in i won't be there, 'cause I love my sin am i so bad that you hate me? there was a time when i could see my hopes and dreams, they are no more i'm not a rich man, but blessed are the poor oh man, forgive me, i turned away i won't come back, so i'll have to pay

i dont think i have to expound on how this relates to greed very much do i. entire song about your inherently sinful nature making you unfit for your home

act ii: taking on the world

could have been me by the struts

don't wanna live as an untold story rather go out in a blaze of glory i can't hear you, i don't fear you i'll live now 'cause the bad die last dodging bullets with your broken past i can't hear you, i don't fear you now

the tiger! he destroyed his cage! the tiger is out!!!!

i by kendrick lamar

and i love myself (the world is a ghetto with big guns and picket signs) i love myself (but it can do what it want whenever it want, i don't mind) i love myself

hes seen how much pain society has in it at this point, but he still has no regrets about leaving home. for the first time in his life hes starting to fill the void in his soul

i want it all by queen

i'm a man with a one track mind so much to do in one lifetime (people do you hear me) not a man for compromise and where's and why's and living lies so i'm living it all, yes i'm living it all and i'm giving it all, and i'm giving it all

the first of several songs about Wanting Everything because you have to have songs about wanting everything in a greed playlist. but thats not the only reason this one fits, youve got the "not wanting to live a lie" part, as well as talking about giving instead of just taking

raise hell by dorothy

young blood, run like a river young blood, never get chained young blood, heaven need a sinner you can't raise hell with a saint young blood, came to start a riot don't care what your old man say young blood, heaven hate a sinner but we gonna raise hell anyway

hes way past young at this point but theres always room for a Fuck You Dad song

emperor's new clothes by panic! at the disco

welcome to the end of eras ice has melted back to life done my time and served my sentence dress me up and watch me die if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine

this is maybe The classic greed song. everybody knows its about him. the only difference in opinion with the masses i really have is that even though emperor is in the title it really fits more as a pre-nest wild party era greed song than a greedling era song because at no point during the winter road trip does he get to engage in the songs brand of lavish hedonism. hes too busy being depressed

also its fun that it has the word decapitated in it. when, you know

the man by the killers

i know the score like the back of my hand them other boys, i don't give a damn they kiss on the ring, i carry the crown nothing can break, nothing can break me down

obligatory Toxic Masculinity Song. some of the lines about not taking advice dont really apply here because this is greed "looks to his minions for social advice in the middle of a kidnapping" the avaricious but he does have his weird chivalry thing and also a lot of baggage around his own vulnerability. i also think its funny to put in a song where he brags about his dick

thrift shop by macklemore

imma take your grandpa's style, imma take your grandpa's style no, for real, ask your grandpa, can i have his hand-me-downs?

unfortunately this is definitely a greed song.

mr. pinstripe suit by big bad voodoo daddy

now he strolls through the city like a big ol' alley cat with his pinstripe suit and a big bad voodoo hat i don't believe i ever saw him without a kitten on his hand and no one swings as hard to the big bad voodoo band

the time period doesnt quite line up but the Vibe is there. hes making a name and a reputation for himself and hes looking good doing it

busy earnin' by jungle

you think that all your time is used too busy earnin' you can't get enough

a more uncertain interlude. the melody doesnt falter but the lyrics ask if this is really what he wants out of life. after all, he has a long time, but he doesnt have forever.

everybody loves me by onerepublic

don't need my health got my name and got my wealth, i stare at the sun just for kicks all by myself, i lose track of time, so i might be past my prime, but i'm feelin' oh so good, yeah

this answers the question the previous song posed with a "psssh, ill think about it later"

i want it by viv and the revival

in the stores make it rain 'cause it's wet like a dream (a-wooo) cars, boats, big house, everything in between (a-wooo) i don't know i don't care i don't give but i can share, so i'll make you scream make you believe that you can have anything, anything!

another "i want everything" song that stands out by mentioning wanting someone else to have things too. still not really addressing the uncertainty yet in favor of continuing to fuck around

gimme! gimme! gimme! (a man after midnight) by abba

gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight won't somebody help me chase the shadows away? gimme, gimme, gimme a man after midnight take me through the darkness to the break of the day

well? give him a man after midnight

i'll rust with you by steam powered giraffe

i'll rust with you i'll rust with every one of you nostalgic nights have got me feelin' its all gone, gone, gone to rust

song about being immortal and watching all your relationships fade away before your eyes as the decades roll past? dont mind if i do

highwayman by the highwaymen

i was a highwayman along the coach roads i did ride with sword and pistol by my side many a young maid lost her baubles to my trade many a soldier shed his lifeblood on my blade the bastards hung me in the spring of '25 but i am still alive

by this point hes been living among humans long enough to have racked up a considerable number of deaths. but hes still around. he'll always be around. Or Will He

act iii: coming together

red right hand by nick cave & the bad seeds

you don't have no money? he'll get you some you don't have no car? he'll get you one you don't have no self-respect, you feel like an insect well don't you worry buddy 'cause here he comes through the ghettos and the barrio and the bowery and the slum a shadow is cast wherever he stands stacks of green paper in his red right hand

the tone of the song is sinister. within the context of this playlist i am envisioning it as entirely literal. whats up with this weird guy and his red right hand. well he got me a new car so he cant be all that bad. he definitely casts a shadow wherever he stands but you know itd be kind of weird if he didnt

this marks the beginning of his quest to find lasting friends minions. clearly just bribing them wont really work

evil friends by portugal. the man

it's not because the light here is brighter and it's not that I'm evil i just don't like to pretend that i could ever be your friend

return of the light motif and the cataclysmic collision of greeds refusal to lie and his refusal to accept the most basic truth about himself. hes gotten to the point where hes able to recognize that who he is isnt a bad thing, but he still cant connect the dots and understand that he was lied to from the start about who he is at all. so he says shit like this with full confidence

let me bathe in demonic light by the mountain goats

someday the old flesh will give way to the new find a functioning mirror inside and slip right through and there, there i'll be and who, who's coming with me? to show me my one true face when i arrive at my preordained place

the light theme continues, and illustrates the fact that in starting to seek out immortality he's retreading the same ground as father-- making the same mistakes. the hunger, as the lyrics explain, runs "deep in the bloodline". just like father, he cant do it alone, and calls on others to join him, while the lyrics run in direct contrast to the past song by saying the word "friend" multiple times. this will continue

amy aka spent gladiator 1 by the mountain goats

i hide down in my corner because i like my corner i am happy where the vermin play

i might wind up relocating this somewhere else on the playlist at some point but right now the sound fits well in this part so. song about Coping, and not necessarily coping healthily or well. but hes surviving, with his little crimelord hobby

if i lead by kiltro

show me the ways that you talk and all of the places you walk if i lead would you follow? let me at the corners where the light don’t touch colors, figures sway love, they might lift you away from the street to what’s under and everything that scatters by the light of day

weve got light again folks! this ones (very plainly i should think) about recruiting the gang. he asks for their trust and brings them down into the underbelly of dublith.

modern jesus by portugal. the man

don't pray for us we don't need no modern jesus to roll with us the only rule we need is never giving up the only faith we have is faith in us

the Greed Crucifixion jokes are hilarious but this song i think fits very well as a refusal by the nest to treat him as anything but an equal, at least in terms of his being a homunculus. they dont want a god, they want a boss and an ally and a friend.

bourbon street by jeff tuohy

every night we throw this little soiree i'm gonna turn her head until she's mine, all mine every night I breed a new disaster might be right, might be wrong try to get away and i will bring you right along

another party song, this time with hints that being on his side isnt totally safe, and he might not be as in-control as he makes himself out to be. everyones having fun, though. for now!

guys on every corner by the mountain goats

with your tabloid stars and your unmarked cars with your special forces and your inside sources with your radar fields and your riot shields and heavy horses i'm coming to swat you down like flies 'cause i got guys

come at him, government. hes got guys.

act iv: the downfall

alligator teeth by mother falcon

i will turn my friends to gold for the treasury to hold them safely while they dream

a sudden shift in musical style to something way more... i dont quite know how to describe it but its soft at first and then turns frantic and its generally not the kind of music i would typically listen to for Fun but in the context of the events leading up to the raid i think the sound works to illustrate the confusion and fear. immortality, i think, was never just for greed. he wanted to protect his friends too. the lyrics start to repeat "i don't wanna ever dream", and then "'cause all it ever leads me to is bad things, bad things"-- this desire is exactly what gets them all killed.

king rat by modest mouse

we spun like birds on fire right down towards the residence, and i i took all that I desired, even crooks have to pay the rent we swam like rats on fire right, right down the reservoir we took all that we could carry, but we tried to carry more and you know, you know, you know it all went wrong

the musical panic continues into the next song, which describes a burglary gone sideways and perfectly captures the raid. greed tried to bite off more than he could chew and paid the price for it. plenty of the lyrics can be directly associated with the situation-- the "king rat" who "has (greed) on his list again", the "deep water" he's sinking in, the claim that he was "honest even when he cheated them". i dont think id be able to find a more fitting song for this part if i looked for a year

going to hell by the pretty reckless

father did you miss me don't ask me where i've been you know i know, yes, i've been told i redefine a sin i don't know what's driving me to put this in my head maybe i wish i could die, maybe i am dead and he said for the lives that i fake, i'm going to hell for the vows that i break, i'm going to hell

barring any better future options this song has provided the title for the whole playlist-- "redefine a sin". the in-context priest being called father really elevates this one, if the whole premise wasnt enough to begin with. a+ greedsong

heretic pride by the mountain goats

and i start laughing like a child and i mark their faces one by one transfiguration's going to come for me at last and i will burn hotter than the sun

maybe greeds emotional state is a little different from the narrator here, but overall this is a certified Song to Get Put in the Soup To

act v: rebirth

still feel. by half alive

floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, or so it seems, i'm out of control floating in outer space, have i misplaced a part of my soul? lost in the in-between, but it can't keep me asleep for long 'cause i still feel alive

i can so vividly picture the animatic to this one. greeds little soulface flipping around in the stone. zooming in on fathers weird eyeball as he cries him out and puts him in different guys. the last verse being him coming to life again in lings body. why dont i have 7 million dollars

same man i was before by oingo boingo

i'm not the same boy I was before but I haven't changed my desires i've not extinguished the fires i haven't lost wide-eyed wonder i haven't lost, haven't lost, haven't lost that stupid fear of thunder

AND everyone keeps telling him everything he does is wrong. cut that out

ドーナツホール ft. GUMI by hachi

いつからこんなに大きな | When was it that I got these memories, 思い出せない記憶があったか | These big ones I can't remember? どうにも憶えてないのを | Out of what I just can't recall, ひとつ確かに憶えてるんだな | There's one thing I remember pretty well もう一回何回やったって | Try one more time, a hundred times, 思い出すのはその顔だ | All I remember is your face それでもあなたがなんだか | And yet you yourself, I'm not sure why, 思い出せないままでいるんだな | But I still can't remember you…

this is the bido song. look up the rest of the lyrics its about bido. i searched bido on japanese twitter one time and saw somebody else saying this song reminded them of greed and bido. its about greed and bido

act vi: memories returned

stronger by the score

set me on fire set me on, set me on fire (whoa, whoa-oh) i'm still alive i'm still a- i'm still alive (whoa) bet you didn't think that i'd come back to life

every single line fits him perfectly. youve all seen @humming-fly's animation right you dont need me to explain. if you havent what are you doing

long way down by black rebel motorcycle club

don't you cry to yourself just to feel like someone who's hit bottom? but you can't run away 'cause the hole that remains will follow don't you care just enough? don't you feel your heart stop? but you can't know what you want

after the emotional high of 'stronger', representing the anger overtaking him as he goes to attack bradley, 'long way down' takes us, well, Down. hes is so fucking sad. but he cant know what he wants! now more than ever! because to admit it would mean admitting he lost it!!!

clean slate by the mountain goats

rest until you're rested, climb back onto the caravan remember at your peril, forget the ones you can and then just when you think you've learned how to forget you learn it's just the ones who haven't risen to the surface yet

this is The Roadtrip Song. hes sorting through his memories and struggling the entire time. i owe john "the mountain" goats my life for continuing to make ten million songs about extremely specific situations. ideally id have so many more songs in this category but until i find more this is it for the time being

act vii: final sacrifice

human heart by thao

god damn your crooked mouth and lean your fear is a bullet in the wing is it so brave? tell me, is it so brave? the private posture of the self homemade

with this, we skip ahead to the final fight and the moment when he decides to sacrifice himself. shout out to whoever transcribed "eat and won't you be hungry" as "ethan won't you be hungry" on the spotify lyrics for this one, i dont know who ethan is but i hope he has a good lunch. what was i talking about. oh right

children play with fire by mischief brew

children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) children lead us to the lake of fire (fire!) and as we drive down into the flames maybe I'll let you hold the reins

change da world... his final message. goodb ye

epilogue

just one more by mad caddies

no necesito la vida rica (i don't need the rich life) estoy contento contigo (i'm happy with you) 'cause in the end we all go the same place, yeah so i'll be happy with what i know

like the title says: just one more. because whatever form it takes, he IS partying it up in that shitty bar in the sky. and all his friends are there too.

like i said i would very much prefer to have more songs in the latter parts so if anybody has recommendations. please rant at me about the songs you associate with greed. and if i can fit them in i will. this post took me all day to make i have got to get some follower interaction out of it

#fullmetal alchemist (fullmetal alchemist)

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gay-little-cloud · 5 months

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mv | album | official audio

DOYOUNG !!!! DOYOUNGGGGG ! DOYOUNNG !!

you really did that

youtube

the mv is so good, so pretty, so precious, i was actually tearing up by the end. and of course the song is a masterpiece as expected 🥹🫶🐇

- now onto my top3 after the first listen of the album:

top #1 has to be little light. it made me tear up. its literally perfect. doyoung was so right for choosing it as the tt and i cant wait for promotions to start so i can hear him sing it over and over and over again.

top #2 is time machine. mark opening the song was crazy, i was listening to the album laying in bed and when i heard him i sat down so quickly omg and it only gets better and better, that song is amazing. doyoung and taeyeon together sound like magic, i was floating the whole time.

youtube

top #3 is so hard to choose. im between serenade (which is exactly my style and it would probably be my fav if the album wasnt full of masterpieces). from little wave (because he sang it live on the comeback live and i cant stop thinking about her). beginning (made me cry on the trailer and hearing the full version made my life better, its just too good). and then of course lost in california and dallas love field (both make me so happy)

and yes i am aware i made half the album my top 3 but what am i suppose to do. its doyoungs fault, hes too good. maybe in a couple of months after my 389th listen i can actually pick just one as my fav, but for now i cant.

im so jealous of all the fans that get to go to his concert and hear the album live !! its gonna be amazing 🥹 i hope everyone has fun and enjoys doyoungs music as much as he does performing them �� cheer a lot !!!

kim doyoung, thank you 🫡

#mandatory comeback post #doyoung #nct #nct 127 #kpop #album #review #more like fangirling #youth #little light #kim doyoung #solo #nct dojaejung #i honestly cant not believe how good time machine is #please if your not a fan at least listen to that one #Youtube

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cherrylite17 · 2 years

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Between us episode 12

posting this earlier than i normally do so some minor spoilers ahead i suppose :)

honestly, I didn’t write much down as I wanted to actually watch this episode without pausing (another reason for me posting this today so i don’t forget my thoughts (of which i have few))

I am so happy that Team got to talk to his aunt. That conversation was much needed. I mean, last time they saw eachother, she didn't say much to him which really just lead him to believe that she still was mad with him. I can't believe they had me nearly crying like 5 minutes in because of it as well :3

all the couples got a happy ending! though i will admit there were things that didn't happen in this episode that i wish they did (like team telling his parents that they were together even though they already knew because listen i love me a good emotional coming out to parents scene so i can live vicariously through that and pretend their parents comforting them are my parents accepting me as well even though i'd never come out to my parents)

like literally, all the couples got a happy ending. i dont just mean with eachother but like, manow got a role, prince's manager was more accepting, waan and tul... waan and tul... waan and tul... :3 they are all happy.

not a note on the show or the episode but the OST. around the 42-ish minute mark, when they were on the beach, there was piano playing in the background. and my mind, like so quickly, was like "holy shit, this is luckiest boy. i know that song when i hear it i love this song i cant believe they're using it here omgomgomgomg" but still i was like ehhh maybe i just like the song so much that im projecting and its not actually luckiest boy and they just had piano and then... it was luckiest boy (actually sobbing i love that song)

final note: i initially didn't understand why Team was like "hey win im gonna challenge you to swimming".. i was like.,,,, really?? all this for that??? and then i realized holy shit this is fucking so emotional. Last time Team challenged someone he loved to swimming competition, that person died... like literally they died. this part (him challenging win) while at first kinda confusing, is i think among the most emotional parts of the show. like this is where all the growth leads. he finally forgave himself, he finally trusts himself and the person he loves. like he is idk it just hit a little different once i realized that it was meant to be symbolic of all this growth

but yeah... Between us is finally over. any final thoughts? no absolutely not. As much as i loved the show i do feel that the rewatch value is kinda low (though tbf i did just finish it so of course im not going to want to rewatch it)

not that anyone really cares but i dont think there will be a series for a while where i am posting my thoughts as i watch it (though i may occasionally comment on my school president or never let me go as i watch them and other shows i already watched if i decide to rewatch or completely non-bl related shows (i still havent watched the last episode of show me the money 11 and i already know im going to have too many thoughts on that )) but for now, thats been me and my thoughts >:) thanks to all who read them lol

#Between Us #between us the series #between us ep 12 #winteam #premboun #bounprem #thai bl #thai drama #uwma the series

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frozenhi-chews · 6 months

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SO YAYYYY CEROBA + CLOVER TIME!!! she was so interesting during the steamworks stuff :D youre all like damn.. Chujin sounds like a really cool guy im sorry Ceroba :( im sure he was really smart and advanced and made the dopest robots... AND HE DIDDDD I LOVE THE GARDENERRR SOBS her returning back to hibernation and<:,(((( collapes.all the abandoned robots..... fuckkkk my heartttt i talked more about ceroba stuffs in my firsstttt ask but like RAGTAUAUAGAFGFH YOU SAID IT WHEN YOU HEAR ABOUT KANAKO WITH ALPHYS YOURE LILE.FUCKFUCKFUCK THE ALMAGAMARUTIONDXFUFCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!! and the fight goes CRAZY MY GOD THE MULTIPLE PHASES REALLYREALLY SETS THIS APART FROM EVERYTHING ELSE LIKE YOU CAN FEEELLLL HER DESPARATIONNNNNNNNNNNN LIKE DAMN. REALLY IS A MOTHER'S LOVE...... the jn you see the flashbacks and <:((((( what if i died what if i died right NOW !!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also the group huug completely devastated me and i was so relieved when Starlo+Martlet got up like i was all. i dont THINK she would straight up immediately kill them but. god. who knows!!!(plus it was so real when starlo's hat landed right on his head after being knocked out) Cloverrr.... "It's time." FOR WHAT... ME TO CRY??!??????? ????!?? like that shit took me OUTTTTTT gotta mention the group hug again i mean like for real i think i had my heart ripped out and blended and youre like. it. i cant be THAT time right?!? youre gonan... youre gonna be okay and dandy and <:o??? AND GODDDDDDDD JUST KILL ME AT THIS POINTTTT CLOVVEERERRRRRRR THEY WERE JUST A KID...... when. Ceroba pulls out the container. it just cements everything. the hat and gun. *clover's* hat and gun. and you just KNOW and i think. the. just the fact you don't have a choice you have to tell them to go. you'll be fine. its fine. just go. GOD DAMN the art of just... clover struggling to pull themself to rest against their back... the camera panning up to birdsong... the credits................. Clover is gone and it had to happen and they were only here for *a single day* but they changed *everything* I just don't even know what to say. thats just art Clover's funeral/sendoff was beautiful too... at first i was like MARTLET NOOO DONT LEAVE CLOVER'S HAT and then i was just. wait. fu ck FUCKKKK !!! UNDERTALLLEEEEE Clover was really just a blip in all their lives, for less than 24 hours did they know the kid, but Clover really did change everything. for the better.... goddddddddddddddddd this game truely captured what made undertale so great anyways. im soo going to check out a genocide playthrough next. and completely bawl my eyes out again TRYUFTGH tldr THANK YOU FOR CONVINCING ME TO CHECK UTYELLOW OUT <33333 SO AWESOME SO COOL WOOPING CHEERING i am going to bed ^_^

PART THREE AND AAAYGHH YESSS!! YOU'RE WELCOME!! Heeheehoo!!

I just wanna say that I adore Axis. He's so freaking silley and I adore him so much. Guardener also was...wow. Genuinely chilling to see her go back to sleep. (Also I love the fact she's a female robot and yet doesn't have like. Feminine things. She's just a robot. Who needs female stuff on a robot. Aka HER DESIGN IS AWESOME!!)

AND AUGH CEROBA'S FIGHT (fun fact I'm listening to A Mother's Love right now. Such a good song, haunting with her scream.) I said it before, with the haunting scream of her shattered hopes of continuing her husband's work and dreams of seeing her daughter again. The Hopes and Dreams motif is chilling, especially with how discordant it is, really symbolizing how it's all shattering around her.

The fight was insane. I love it. But HOOO

AND THE HUG. THEY REALLY WERE JUST A KID, MY FREKAING HEART, AAAUGGHHH!!! Starlo is watching his child choose to sacrifice themselves for Monsterkind, what could be more just. But what could be more tragic? Also Ceroba needed a longer hug.

Also genocide....HOOO it really is dark and tragic. But I have Thoughts...about Starlo. And how he was handled there. Because HOO BOI, he deserved better

Anyways AUGH GLAD YOU LIKED IT. NOW WE CAN CRY IN DENIAL AND TALK ABOUT OUR SELF SHIPS TOGETHER!!!

#the cake doth speak #ceroba <>#cake asks

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istherewifiinhell · 6 months

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back on the grief train woo woo (day recap) (most serious skip warning yet)

i have a predilectiction to not wanting to record or remember when (like the specific when in time) bad things happen. but in the last couple years of blogging, and i guess the year and change of drawing ive found a lot more appeal of recall. so i wonder if its not so bad to. record the bad. at any rate i dont think. not recording it makes it less real. which i think is the fear. and. my head is doing it anyway.

im doing this coping method questionable activity here instead of a journal becauseeee??? natural format my brains prefers i suppose.

to recap. the bad horrible no good very bad day

- i went to sleep late, as usual. i wake late. same. i prelong getting out of bed. also same. scrolling idly (or 'pre scrolling' the dash. i dont know why i do it)

- screams. screams and distress and misery and comforting a screaming distressed person. various talking down of hysterical lines of thought. (thats not an insult. 1. circumstances 2. understood behavioural trends) the joint and mouth gear i sleep in dont even come off until the screaming is done. have u every pet someones head in a wrist brace?

- lots and lots of crying. more comforting. the gear comes off. i brush my teeth. exhausted sitting and hovering around the. scene of the incident.

- migration to kitchen as food needs win out. all doors shut and all living beings collect. toast is eaten. water drank. etc.

- backup arrives. infomation is gathered. places are looked up and called. plans are formed. actions are taken. i mentally catalogue setimental, soothing, but give upable fabrics.

- i rip up threadbare torn bed sheets. i have to figure out how to get my dead cat into a box.

-he was around 12-15 pounds. we called him toddler sized and shaped. he had a mean punch and strong grasp. i taught him to sit on my shoulders, sometimes.

- realise how much heavier he is now. i cry. i cover him with the sheet. i somehow get it under him. hes stiff. even the tail. i cry. i pet his fur. i sob getting him into the box.

- backup apologizes. im on my knees. wailing. i think. definetly louder than anything ive done yet. backup gestures the dog at me. knowing my situation. distressee entered at some point. gets a hug from back up. i think i am gestured into the hug. i gesture down. im on the floor.

- i wail and am hugged.

- i am invited on the trip to the place. i gestures to my face. my sleep clothes. i dont see it happening. im told i dont need to be strong all the time. i reiterate. i really just wouldnt be able to get my glasses and a mask on.

- i dont see the box. i dont see much. at i dont remember if i have tea now or earlier. i soon as i hear the car go. im crying again. the sister cat meowing didnt help. i dont actually know or belief if that. i have no idea what she experiences. shes a cat. but. yeah.

- blogging happens? sometime happens? people return.

- im told. four years ago he developed a heart murmer. apparently thats a thing. 4 years. bengin to. serious.

- blogging happens. as well as algorithmic irony. i am asked if i want to watch something. i say. shower first. i forget ever song ive ever heard. for a moment. i settle on the album pocket.

- eventually i come down. i get food. we watch a movie. its a good movie. i have a nice exchange with a friend during too.

- i watch some dishes and realise. bizarrely. my old manager might find out about this. the vet was near to my job. the guy was friends with the techs. this was the kind of infomation he would share with me at times.

- youtube videos until the group disbands.

- i start recounting this my head

- i am wearing pjs i dont like. whatever the level for snotty sleeves where u chuck a set in the hamper has surely been met.

- typing this. using a spare pillow case as a hanky

- im gonna go and try and find the horse traqulizer of pleasant youtube videos.

#some shit #animal death #TRULY. this ones for my own purposes. i have no fucking clue what another human being would do being presented with this info and #am not expecting shit nor dick.#just me and my public internet diary okay?

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kassiemari · 6 months

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B O R E D O M

Hellowish

It's been awhile i guess, so what's up everybody?

I'm hoping you have a good and relaxing day ahead, i'm here again guess what because there’s nothing to do in office today that i can write in this blog HAHAHAHA

Its my NANAY’S Birthday today, the 3rd day of April (Grandma) but she’s buried in Manila and here in the province but we see to it that there’s someone who can visit her in her grave, my brother’s maybe who lives in manila. HAYYYYYY

I'm going to rant again, HAHAHA WHAT”S NEW BITCH, this page where i can release all my unsaid thoughts and feelings because if i let them know it'll be a burden to them and i can't do that. So be patient with HA HAHAHAHAH.

So where can I start? There’s so many to rant that i don't know where to start

My office work will end soon so i think i can't finish this blog for today, im continuing this maybe tomorrow? HAHAHAHA ohhh shot i forgot that i have meeting tomorrow with accountant so maybe friday i guess AHAHAH

There’s nothing here, it's worthless paper today.

Hello again, it's the 4th day of April and there isn't much work today as in literally no work at all, so I'm bored and to divert my sleepy eyes, I just write anything to say even if it's nonsense.

So well, I was in Manila yesterday to accompany my friend who has a problem with her work. Apparently she’s involved in a money problem with the company, I can't elaborate it further, it's too personal.

I've also told Sami about it he said, say to your friend that everything gonna be okay and i rely naman that, hoping she gonna be okay too her mental health is too low last year she was diagnosed Anxiety and Depression, when i heard her crying last night i just hugged her that's the only thing I can do to her as her support system, i can't say if she’s wrong or right because I'm not in position to judge everyone’s involvement.

Hoping to end that struggling position for her and today she messaged me something that bothers me. I'm waiting to hear what she's gonna say.

I'M SO SO SORRY I OVERUSED “GONNA” WHEN I KNOW THERE’S NO SUCH FORMAL WORD LIKE THAT

SORRY MY FALSE HAHAHAHA

I've been playing non stop Ariana Grande’s Eternal Sunshine Album HAHAHAH, i felt to dedicate this to Sami but everytime im doing that he’s been active on messaging me HAHAHAHA

So what’s that?

There was also a time when i posted what song I'm playing that day (i forgot the title but it was sentimental HAHAH it was random playing) then he replied

“Why are you sad? We’re okay. Sorry I was busy”

I replied “I know we’re okay, what are you talking about?”

He replied “your story”

I replied “HAHAHA sorry about that it was random”

Defensive much boy HAHAHAHAH it was last year i guess

OH MY GHAAAAAADDDDDDDD

What she said was so big AND I CAN'T TAKE IT howwwwww????

I cant even write it im so shock

Hello again it's my third day doing nothing HAHAHA its 5th day of april today, i'm so lucky to have my day paid while doing nothing because why? I've done it last week so i don't have anything to do now.

So today is friday i'm writing again a non sense paper, like what i said yesterday i knew something that so hard to believe and it involves my work friends, if you red my other writing, I’ve mention these friends there but not totally dropping their names

So this is it, this friend of mine is ranting about her feelings for the last few days, she’s so problematic then within that day she have known that our other friend having flirty jokes with her husband, although it was a joke, we all know that joke are half meant so decreased her hurt feelings i've always reply “please rest for awhile you needed that and everythings gonna be fine” familiar? HAHAHAH it was from someone

Ooohhhh shoooot ive also write that about the talked happened on the 3rd day of april in manila HAHAHHAH my i'm so old to notice that

I don't know how hurt feelings are because I've never had a husband so prone to cheat? Is that cheating already?

For me personally, cheating is a choice. Although there's bait or some malicious actions from others it was your choice to do wrongdoings together with some bait.

So if Sami chose that i don't know I've always ask him naman about it, if he has someone there na that he can be 24/7 let me know so i can exit myself it was painful and hurt but i need to do that, but he said there's no one there so i believe pa but you know sometimes it like i said most of the time I'm thinking about it

That he's super busy? Even sending an updated picture or message he can't do? Oh well we’re not physically seeing each other pa just a face on the video its super seldom pa that’s why I'm okay with it he’s not demanding thou to see me for something, sometimes he just asks for a selfie.

So enough of me i'll go back to the original topic of the day which is my friend SAPAW KA GIRL HAHAHA

WHERE AM I AGAIN? AH ON CHEATING

That’s why I'm asking diba if that's cheating also, texting some flirty message to someone you're not in a relationship with, even if you're too close to that person.

I'm even close to that person, she’s ahead of us you know but, i don't jump into conclusion with just statement, why? Because she’s married too with 2boys that’s why I'm asking WHY?

I'm the actually the one confused, super and i don't understand them anymore, listening is the best i could offer but my mind is so blowing also HAHAHAHA

So this is what nonsense writing feels like? I'm just narrating or ranting? It depends on who reads it anyway but at least it release my thoughts

Anyway i need to stop na this i'm going to publish this eventually

XOXO AHAHAHAHAH

What's XOXO again?

Remember to be beautiful always and always be kind

Lovelots

Kassie Mari

#quotes #writers #secret life #music #boyfriend #datingsite #friendship #random #rant post #rant #nonsense #Spotify

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toinfinitywinning · 7 months

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What you see & hear- or even if you can. Just a cover.

Open it? There’s no tellin’ the worm. But you bought the ticket. It’s your Day 1.

They’re gonna try to break you.

Yk every Day I wake up. And I’m scared of it. Don’t want to. And not b/c im warm in my bed snuggling w/ my feather duvet and rain, with the weight of a horse on my legs play pretending he’s a 3 lb Show shhnowzaa but b/c I’ve already, already lived it. And having been in a constant State of fight or flight, normal or abnormal, sometimes u can’t tell —I still feel bad. W/e differentiation you had to separate the two both ended up at the North Pole but you’ve at least got Santa.

So this means I’m confused all Day but I still want some of Michael’s Secret Stuff Gatorade (haterade) from “welcome to the space jam—alright.” 🎵. To get me through. A safe energy drink. And your body doesn’t ☊ anymore so the more you talk to yourself the saner. It’s just I’ve never had to fake I’m physically okay to be present so much. Physical sickness affects ur mind Health and if you already struggle w/ that my condolences b/c your leg hurts too.

It’s a nightmare never 1-upping to a dream of being without. Then some days it’s will hear a song or remember a Good time or just Start crying-faucet not included. No acute-reason onset. (We gotta find another word for trigger no joke). I only subconsciously wonder will today be better…Will I get better? And I don’t know why I continue to continue being somewhere inbtw positive and negative. All the sudden my mind is taxed and so are your paychecks and I’ve been up for 15 minutes not even thinking I was thinking b/c Truth is, when something becomes your reality for such a Long time, everything just runs together. You’re afraid to feel anything yet know if you don’t it’s not just your body ready to atrophy. Not Good. And it’s a sneaky lil’ mf.

I can’t Imagine the omnipresent (best word for constant I got) Pain people feel having been with Illness their whole lives. How differently their world is shaped. Pain, prolonged cynicism, Illness prolonged, disability prolonged, w/e u used to think about things is gone unless you’re born one of these ways. Now to be clear I was born this Way but not THIS Way don’t get it twisted. Some days I wonder what it would be like to swap around. W/e it is—This presence does not belong to God— but maybe its mere existence really does b/c we won’t have anyone to thank if things get better? And there’s no joy in the things we’ve hoped for and overcome? And everything always has an End result of some kind…Right? If that’s my endgame I can only look at some things very matter of fact-ly. But. Here we are. Pending. Loading. Accept All Cookies. Your Health for potential healing is At the mercy of literally a button click away from quality or lifesaving or changing Medicine or therapy. CAN YOU AFFORD TO STAY ALIVE? Be fired? Bankrupt-ed? Evicted? No college, no trade School, but you work ur butt off to provide but you’re still paid $7.25/hr as I was as head intramural supervisor at Georgetown College. 15 years ago. Not just that, exist, like eating, clothes to wear, some sort of roof. So you’re choosing between crappy and crappier. Literally no difference. How in the is someone even going to try to stay healthy?!

Thankfully I don’t have to worry as much about the material, which, its Stress alone induces more trauma and Anxiety, but I’d bet how we feel physically isn’t too different. All the sudden again in the subconscious where I am all the time I’m figuring and not truly present you really think existentially like how in not God’s name clearly did I get here? I fixed everything. But Life isn’t played by a claw that has never won anybody a teddy bear. I wouldn’t pin karma to me in itself but it sure makes you think.

None of this is about to make sense but it’s where my mind took me.

Think about what was happening in your Life before things changed. Before literally waking up one Morning and knowing that very second things had to change or I was headed toward death a lot faster than I thought until that God moment. I don’t have many of them that are that dramatic but nothing was clearer to me in that moment. And then that Damn bat and conspiracy crap of government population control. If anthrax was sprinkled in Amazon boxes we’d be extinct. But Pretty sure we know how to get rid of people without breaking a beaker or test tube and then turning on a fan just gifting particles. And Unraveling ALL of the many ways of healing I’d finally lived into. I was so close. To every Fk up id invited. And so asking why anymore seems vacant. Echoing. And my ears hurt. ATP I’m More so saying well, I’m not sure that strategy is going to work anymore. Where’s the ღ in Health. It’s lost it. How much are you worth? No, like write down a monetary number on a piece of paper, fold it and slide it across the desk. Insurance companies be like: I see your offer and I’ll raise your offer: have you tried dying yet? B/c you could save a lot of money that way. The money it will take to bury you might even be more deadly.

So The most defeating part is beginning the Day as it ends. When I think about that it’s just like how did I get here? I’m still stubborn about it but maybe regardless of w/e someone accomplishes there’s the reality you’re still living in an imperfect world where you can only control so many things. Even if u gain that control back all those traps R still available. So you can Imagine my surprise when there’s not enough OCD to Go around to control THIS. regardless of what we can have control over, do that, b/c the smaller victories become magnified and walking to the kitchen to take your Meds that may or may not be helping is like an 8-ball w/ only 8 options. Eenie meenie miney. Mo.

I don’t set out to cry or tear up in the videos I share. I’ve always been a cryer. I’ve been told I feel things more intensely so it hits different, does different. The direct quote will remain anonymous but the sentimental pack rat in me wrote it down ASAP. Like, a handwritten letter. You took TIME for me. The quote—It was several years ago and I almost can’t stand it b/c it’s me in whatever kind of Shell is available at the time.

[“people perceive me as an individual who has the kindest of all hearts, but who struggles with the realities of life given that kindness…Like how the tenderhearted feel the pains of the earth more intensely.”]

It’s so true. But if I can’t be real what Good’s that gonna do? For me it further affirms what I already am living. In Edgar’s scary A** pit or with the company of not one canary in the coal mine.

C’ya in the AM. 🫡

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that-bitch-kat3 · 2 years

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actively freaking out over my first listen of midnights:

my active thoughts::

lavendar haze: so queer, obsessed with the harmony, ‘damned if i do give a damn what people say’, sounds purple if that makes sense. i like but i don’t think it’ll be my favorite

maroon: track twos always go hard so expectations are high. liek the intro good vibes. its giving 1989 shit, (wolfstar?!?!!?) obsessed!!!!!!!!!! “the rust that grew between telephones” goes SO HARD

Anti-hero: SHUT UP I LOVE IT!! GIMME IT! “when my depression works the graveyard shift” (mood) “i’m the problem it’s me” this one has so much tiktok audio potentional. my new crying shit. this is my song. this is my favorite on this album (i’m deciding this after only hearing these 3) “i wake up screaming from dreaming” i need a music video for this. love all of it. literally amazing

snow on the beach: a bit nervous because lana can be problematic. “stars by the pocketfull” im into it more lana than i was expecting but a crying song bitch, giving folklore energy, not my fav but pretty good

you’re on your own kid: i already liek this better, aww friends to lovers?!? CHILDHOOD friends to lovers?!? bye. i’m gonna be in so much shit when i fall in love with one of my friends again. “i okay my songs in the parking lot” dude. wait. i lived this. okay nvm just besties. oh no. i’m crying. “sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes” okay im crying.

midnight rain: oh she’s GIVING! oh good so i’m crying about childhood shit again. “all the love we unravel” (jegulus?!?) “i wanted that pain” oh okay so me too.

question…?: “a color i have searched for since” oh im feeling it. (jily) absolutely heartbreaking. okay sothat’s so cool that she’s writing about my life. oh the beat drop. it’s so good.

vigilante shit: WHAT A START!!! ITS GIVING REPUTATION!!! MY NEXT ERA IS THIS. “latelu i’ve been dressing for revenge” oh shit hell fucking yeah. im shivering. it’s so good. “don’t get sad get even” “he was doing lines and crossing all of mine” bye. it’s giving cal. it’s giving who i want to be. about to hit my vigilantes era.

bejeweled: oh damn tell ‘em that you are the main bitch. the harmony is SO GOOD! “i miss you but i miss sparkling” oh no i have also lost myself in another person so i’m obbsessed. “some guy said my auras moonstone just because he’s high” holy shit this is one of my top 5

labyrinth: uh oh two winners in a row. scared. oh no im crying. “breathe in breathe through breathe deep breathe out.” oh no. this is me. im gonna fall in love. fuck. this is what i want more than anything. damn i also cannot move on from people. “oh no im falling in love again” crying pissing shitting. absolutely a mess. kill me.

karma: WHAT WE HAVE ALL WAITED FOR!! shut up. it’s so good. 20 seconds in and im obbsessed. oh im fucking hard with this. “karma is a god” “karma is a relaxing thought” you know what this makes me feel better about some of the shit. “im still HEREREEEE” (my favorite line) losing my shit. it’s perfect. i will never move on.

sweet nothing: based on the title i will be crying. ph that’s is the life i want to live. (jily.) oh no i want to be in love again. SOMEONE MARRY ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW OR I WILL DIE ON THE SPOT!! “to you i can admit that i’m just too soft for all of it”

mastermind: self title that’s bold. WHAT A FIRST LINE SHITTING MYSELF!!! every fucking line is so good! oh my god. im not okay. im actually in love with this song. “every lovers game” “the dominos cascaded in a line” i am GOING FERAL! i want to bite someone. this is in my top 5. “you knew the entire time.” KILL ME IM NOT OKAY!! LOSING MY SHIT RN

#ts10 #ts10 midnights #midnights initial thoughts #midnights review #i am crying #taylor swift is a mastermind #marauders #marauders era #taylor swift #tswift

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lesbianmelkor · 11 months

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THE WHORE SLEEPS BADLY: a playlist for Emilio Sandoz

notes on songs under the cut!! emilio art credit to @ferretteeth

Alone Together - Fall Out Boy

this is the road to ruin and we´re starting at the end!!! emilio deserves to have some angsty music and also. this song is about being alone without being alone and being trapped and being loved for the worst things about yourself. i don´t know where i´m going but i dont think i´m coming home!!

2. Be Afraid - Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

this is a song about feeling like g-d is ignoring you and feeling like you´re not living up to your potential and also the lyric "we´ve been testing you and you failed to see how long that you could hold it in before you screamed, but you only exhaled" g-ddddddd.

3. Bite the Hand - Boygenius

another song about emilio´s relationship with g-d. "i can´t love you how you want me to"?? he comes home and he can´t do it anymore!! it´s gone!! he´ll bite the hand that feeds him!!! also. "i can´t hear you, you´re too far away" cause he left g-d behind him on rakhat.

4. Butchered Tongue - Hozier

This is actually a pre-priesthood linguistics song for emilio!! minority culture always having to speak in another language than your own, especially for taino emilio... and then speaking these languages that literally nobody else on the planet speaks!! crazy

5. Colorblind - Counting Crows

literally just listen to this song and tell me this isn´t how emilio feels. "i am covered in skin, no one gets to come in" and then the repetition of "i am ready i am fine"?? im pulling my hair out.

6. Cringe - Matt Maeson

so this is actually the stripped version which makes me crazy in its own right but. "oh i make you cringe now. don´t i make you cringe now?" matt said this song is about leading a lifestyle that the people around you don´t approve of and it just. this one. just trust me.

7. Cry for Judas - the Mountain Goats

you get it. you get it. "mistreat your altar boys long enough and this is what you get." "i´m still here but all is lost". it was ruined!! all was lost!! he thinks he is judas betraying g-d!!! you know what i mean.

8. Floating in the Forth - Frightened Rabbit

so the lead singer of frightened rabbit committed suicide by jumping off a bridge into the firth of forth and he wrote this song about doing that before he did that and it just. just. it´s so important also remember this it comes up three songs later.

9. Graceless - The National

"G-D LOVES EVERYBODY, DON´T REMIND ME". this is a song about being in the world without being fully present and it kills me.

10. Leave My Body - Florence + the Machine

from the first line: "i´m gonna be released from behind these lines, and i don´t care whether i live or die" to the last: "moving up to higher ground, your history keeps pulling me down", this is a song about emilio trying to move forward as everyone keeps forcing him to relive what happened over and over.

11. The Modern Leper - Julien Baker

hey remember when i said remember the frightened rabbit trivia! this is from the cover album they released after their lead singer killed himself and it is sooooooo. this is a song about being fundamentally broken and diseased and the rest of the world ignores it but you know you´re unlovable. "i am ill but im not dead and i don´t know which of those i´d prefer"!!!

12. Never Quite Free - the Mountain Goats

this is a song about knowing that the trauma still hangs over you and you´ll never be able to escape it and it makes me cry. anyway. "it gets okay to praise the day, believe in sheltering skies and stable earth, but hear his breath come through his teeth". emilio is trying so hard to build a better life and sometime it just won´t happen!!

13. Prayer in Open D - Emmylou Harris

again from the first lyric to the last, this is a song about emilio sandoz. "there´s a valley of sorrow in my soul, where every night i hear the thunder roll like the sound of a distant gun over all the damage i have done" and it Gets Worse From There!!

14. Relative Fiction - Julien Baker

"cause i don´t need a savior i need you to take me home"!!! the religious trauma HITS when you´re trying so hard to be good for a g-d you no longer believe in!!!

15. Spent Gladiator 2 - the Mountain Goats

"stay alive. maybe spit some blood at the camera. just stay alive" what if your life and your pain was a spectacle and you dont know how to escape and you don´t even know what escape would look like. anyway.

16. Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

hey girls. hey girls. did you know g-d loves you but not enough to save you!! anyway religious trauma and having fallen in the eyes of g-d and not being able to fix it and just wanting to be safe and go home. "if it´s meant to be then it will be. i forgive it all as it comes back to me"!!! praying to go back to a home you know you can never return to. i am unwell.

17. Televangelist - Julien Baker

i hear you saying "jordan this is the third julien baker song on here" and all i can say is gay ppl with religious trauma understand emilio sandoz better than anyone else. anyway. "am i a masochist screaming televangelist clutching my crucifix of white noise and static. all my prayers are just apologies." you know what i mean.

18. 24 Frames - Jason Isbell

this is once again a song about g-d abandoning you!! "you thought g-d was an architect now you know he´s something like a pipe bomb ready to blow". it´s soooo good.

in conclusion: i am mentally unwell please appreciate the fruits of my insanity.

#the sparrow #emilio sandoz #mine #Spotify

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