#i think one of the reasons this show specifically appeals so much to me is how relateively nonsexual it is. sex is usually just kind of a p

[milfjessepinkman]

i think its weird that walt never hooks up with any hot younger women after separating from skyler. like i dont actually think its weird i think its good and it elevates the show but i feel like a lot of other shows would show him being adulterous to like complete his "breaking bad" toughguy alpha male transformation. i mean if it had actually happened it would be horrible and would make the show and his character worse but it still feels like something that should have been tempting for the writers to makr happen yk? like on a worse tv show the young hottie walt cheats on skyler with and then feels equal powertrip/guilt ab wouldve been a plot point

[ckret2]

How did you come up with your human Bill design?

I described my goal in the first post I made about his design:

After seeing dozens of tall dapper skinny white twinky anime boy Bills, I wanted a design that matches none of those words. My other two goals were to use the show’s art style; and to lightly pay homage to Alex Hirsch’s “canon” human Bill with the triangle body… except not deliberately hideous.

My unspoken final goal was "and I'm gonna make him damn good looking."

All the colors were sampled from Bill & Bipper, except his skin (which I sampled off a background character and tweaked until it looked good with the yellows) and his gold tooth (which I sampled off of Ergman Bratsman's).

On top of the fact that I was tired of specifically white dude Bills, brown skin tone was chosen because of the emphasis on Bill's interactions with ancient Egypt; I wasn't sure at the time how much of an influence I was gonna headcanon he had on the region, and it woulda felt weird depicting Egyptians bowing down to a white dude. (And then I decided to deemphasize his influence on Egypt almost completely lol.) It woulda been more accurate to go darker, but I was worried it would start to tilt his design into Nyarlathotep-esque Creepy Pitch-Skinned Mysterious Demonic Threat From The Orient racist territory, especially when he's already got demon eyes.

The triangular torso is the most important part of his design, I usually draw an equilateral triangle in the sketch layer and then pad it out.

If I were a better artist a year ago, I would have given him a double chin so his head+torso together would be triangular. But when I tried, I couldn't figure out a way to draw it that looked appealing instead of like a mean fat joke. So I took the coward's way out and gave him a skinny neck with a vaguely triangular chin, and now write him complaining about having a neck every few chapters.

I think the skinny neck, thinner face, noodle limbs, and typical baggy hoodie fooled people into assuming he's skinny. I figured out a way to draw a rounder face with less neck that looks more appealing to me than the original face, so I do that now. Can't do anything about the noodle limbs tho, those were chosen to match Bill's canon noodle limbs.

I went for a hoodie instead of the typical suits you see on human Bills for two reasons.

One: several years ago I had an OC I'd conceived of as a dumb kid who'd given Bill permanent standing permission to use her as a puppet, and when letting Bill take over she'd hide her human features by wearing a hooded poncho and tying a blindfold with an eye on it over the hood, and that idea stuck with me.

And two: for the story I came up with this design for, the premise is that Bill's been recently unhappily stuffed in a human body and dumped on his enemies' doorstep. So, he doesn't have the freedom or money to get fancier clothes; he's too depressed over being stuck in a human body to care much about his human appearance; and he's most comfortable in something that obscures his human anatomy and reminds him of his real form. If he was rich, free, and able to ditch the body any time he wanted, he'd be wearing suits.

[poppystheories]

Tyki’s reaction to being slapped fascinates me. This guy gets slapped by a helpless exorcist that's fully at his mercy and he kinda likes it. It wasn’t a weak slap either! Despite the state Allen’s in, it left a mark! But Tyki just laughs it off. Settles down to chat. Lights himself a cigarette.

Let’s face it. It’s charming.

I really like the contrast between Allen’s first meeting with Road and his first meeting with Tyki. Road had no intention of killing Allen from the start, and she wasn't really there to destroy any Innocence, but she gets incredibly rough with him: nailing his arm to the wall, stabbing his eye out, making a pincushion out of him with her candles. She fully delights in the bodily harm.

Tyki’s here to kill Allen and destroy his Innocence. That’s already decided. But he doesn’t brutalize him at any point.

Because Tyki's so casual, you keep thinking: hey, Allen’s going to get out of this totally fine. Someone is going to show up and save him. Lenalee should be looking for him. We haven’t seen the others in a while, so they must be on their way. Someone is going to arrive in the nick of time to save Allen, and everything’s going to be fine. We still have to get to Japan, after all.

But no one comes.

The scene progresses. Tyki keeps talking, he shows off his power a bit, tries to play with Allen like he played with the others. Tries to make him scared, maybe beg a little. He’s fooling around with the prey he’s already caught, like a cat.

But Allen's not scared, and Tyki backs off. The actual physical torture isn't the appeal for him, so if his victim isn't scared there's no reason to get violent.

So now you're thinking, wow, this guy is gonna regret taking his time when someone finally arrives! What a classic villain fumble; failing your mission because you were too busy monologuing.

But no one comes.

Tyki pulls out the card the Earl gave him. And you find out Tyki’s been searching for Allen. Specifically.

That’s bad, but it's okay. It'll be fine. Someone is going—

You turn the page, and Tyki is ripping Allen’s arm off. No warning, no posturing. One second Allen is fine—someone is going to save him, any second now, Tyki hasn’t even hurt him yet—and the next Allen’s fucking Innocence is on the forest floor.

Tyki keeps talking, smiling. Nothing about his demeanor has changed.

He destroys Allen's Innocence. Like it's nothing.

And at this point, you start to realize, maybe no one is coming. Or if they are, it’s already too late.

Tim gets sent away. He can go get help. But, now Allen’s truly alone with the assassin sent to kill him—if anyone’s coming, it has to be now! Where is everyone?!

Right on cue, you finally get to see the other characters.

And they’re still on the fucking ship.

Then maybe Lenalee—

No. Lenalee’s also at the ship. Tyki has his hand hovering over Allen’s chest and Lenalee’s at the goddamn ship.

No one is coming, you realize. No one was ever coming.

And just like that, Tyki kills Allen. Intimately, with a smile. He wants it to be slow, but quiet. He wants Allen to feel how helpless he really is.

Tyki's a serial killer: we've seen him stage his victims before, like leaving Daisya hanging like some kind of grisly ornament. We saw the state he left the General in.

Allen, however, gets more artistic treatment; he's by the far the favorite of Tyki's victims so far, and Tyki doesn't want to disturb the pretty picture he's already made too much, but it needs a little extra flair, doesn't it? A more personal touch.

So he scatters his own gift to Allen over him: a little something to suit his white hair and black coat and red scars, and the last thing we see is the black crescent of despair. Put there quite deliberately; it is not a typical image to appear on a Joker card.

Volume 6 ends, just like that.

It really is a merciless ending. You can't believe that the protagonist will really die here, but even if he somehow survives, his Innocence has been destroyed. The entire scene is built around your expectations as a reader that the protagonist can't die, so someone will save him, or there will be some other interference.

But no. No one was ever coming to save Allen; not this time.

And that? That has consequences.

[linkspooky]

Love your JJK metas - apologies if I missed it, but any thoughts on Gojo feeling that he was "left behind" and has to "catch up" to Geto before slaughtering the higher ups?

I don't think the impact Shibuya had on him was really explicitly explored, except for that one panel where he said it was his responsibility, but him internally seeing it as following Geto's path in a way surprised me - it makes sense to me, but it doesn't at the same time.

This is a question I really wanted to answer, but delayed for a long time because I wanted to think it over. When the exhibition changed and Gege released his original draft for this scene, it helped clarify a lot of my thoughts on this scene.

"If you want to kill me, kill me. I wouldn’t mind if it were by your hand. But make sure mine is the only life you take.”

These lines become more meaningful if you think of them in the context of earlier events in Hidden Inventory. It sheds light on a lot of scenes from the flashback arc.

In particular this scene.

In his post-enlightenment high Gojo could kill the entirety of the Star Plasma Cult and feel nothing about it to punish them for Riko's death, but he lives the ultimate decision up to Geto.

In that moment Geto convinces him that killing these bystanders would be pointless, because society has other methods for punishing the members of this cult. Specifically he tells Gojo that it's not their job as Jujutsu Sorcerers to punish these people. He basically confines Gojo to the morality of a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Sorcerers kill curse users yes, but they never use their curse techniques on other people like the members in the crowd who don't fight back. Jujutusu Sorcerers aren't a part of the japanese justice system, they exist for one job and that is to deal with curses and curse users in order to prevent them from hurting normal people.

So Geto's lpong explanation to Gojo to talk him down from slaughtering the crowd that's applauding for Riko's death amounts to "That's not our job." He also emphasizes how killing these people wouldn't accomplish anything, because the group was going to disband anyway, and these are just rank and file believers the leaders of the cult are already gone. So in total two reasons, 1) it's not our job, 2) this murder wouldn't accomplish anything.

In the KFC breakup, Gojo parrots Geto's own arguments about killing right back at him. Notice that when they're having their argument Gojo never brings up the fact that killing is wrong, but that killing non-sorcerers is pointless because the sheer amount of number of people you would have to kill is so enormous it's impossible.

Geto's methods are wrong not because they're immoral but because they're impractical. It's not whether or not killing is right or wrong. It's meaningles killing vs. killing with a purpose. Geto's goal is completely impossible for him to accomplish, so all the people he killed in name of that goal died for no reason.

Gojo and Geto are specifically arguing about methods, not morality. Gojo is especially troubled because he's trying to appeal to Geto using the morality that Geto taught him, obligation as a sorcerer, justice, killing with purpose, but now it's all falling on Geto's deaf ears. I think it's poignant Gojo at this stage in his life can't really form a moral argument of his own just repeat Geto's words back at him, it shows how much Gojo was using Geto as a guidepoint.

Gege even says in the databook the reason Gojo stopped himself from killing the cult is that he was using Geto's moral reasoning and not his own.

So in a way, it's Geto's words that prevented Gojo from being a monster all the way back in Hidden Iventnory. Yet, we see in premature death Gojo's completely unable to talk Geto down from the ledge he was standing on.

Even though the words he's using are Geto's words. Perhaps, because the words he's using are Geto's words. Gojo's faith in Geto as a partner and a moral guidepost was so unshakable he's not capable of reconciling with the fact that the person standing in front of him right now slaughtered a whole village.

Geto leaves, and Gojo lacks the words to make him stay. However, in spite of the fact that this scene is called the KFC breakup this, Geto and Gojo aren't ending their relationship. In Jujutsu Kaisen Zero, Geto is surprised by the fact that Gojo still trusts him and feels the same way years later. In Gojo's dying dream, he states that he would have been satisfied losing to Sukuna if Geto was there to wish him good luck before he left. The Geto he pictures is the one in his Gojo-Gesa, the corrupted adult Geto, and not the one he used in childhood.

This is also after Geto expresses jealousy that Gojo wanted to provide a challenge to Sukuna and force him to go all out, because Gojo understood Sukuna's isolation from being the strongest. Because Geto and Gojo's relationship began from the fact that Geto was the only other special grade in their year and therefore the only one able to understand Gojo by being just as strong as he was. Only for Gojo to immediately say that he wasn't satisfied going all out against Sukuna, because Geto wasn't there. It wasn't Geto's power he needed, but his presence.

Geto wasn't leaving Gojo. He was leaving Jujutsu Society. However, since Gojo is such an integral part of Jujutsu Society, it's essentially the same thing. They're not breaking apart because their no longer friends, but because their morals are so different. Even if his attempts at reform wasn't so radical as killing all human beings, Gojo still wouldn't be able to leave with Geto because without Jujutsu Society there is no Gojo Satoru.

Gojo doesn't believe that massacring half the world is possible, but in a way he probably wouldn't believe even a less extreme reform is impossible as long as it was accomplished from the outside. Gojo has always been an internal reformist while at the same time being a radical. Gojo stated this early on he can just kill the people on top but that would make him a monster.

Remember what I emphasized above, Geto convinced Gojo not to slaughter the members of the Star Cult because it's not a Jujutsu Sorcerer's job to punish people like that. If he crossed that line he'd no longer be a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Gojo not only lives to be a sorcerer, but the time in his youth when he was with Geto was the only time he ever felt understood and that there was someone he could rely on.

Geto crossed that line and when he killed the people of Nanako and Mimiko's village (the way that Geto wanted to kill Riko's murderers that day), he was no longer acting as a sorcerer. Geto stopped being a sorcerer, but Gojo couldn't follow him because Gojo lives to be a sorcerer.

Gojo's plan is therefore create sorcerers strong enough that they can support each other the way that him and Geto should have. Create strong allies so that in the next generation no-one will be left behind.

Gojo's belief is that what he needed was stronger allies, not a systemic issue. When his attempts at reform fail, and he wakes up to see that all of his students have had execution orders placed on them by the higher ups he finally gives up on the notion of internal reform.

Gojo eventually ended up committing a mass slaughter for his perceived greater good. The same kind of mass slaughter that Geto prevented him from doing that day he avenged Riko's death. By doing that, he stopped being a sorcerer.

Now that we've finally come full circle I'm going to explain what I think Gojo means by "I can't do that. That day I was left behind, so I have to catch up."

The most direct interpretation is that Gojo is echoing Yuta's sentiment. Geto became a monster all on his own and left Gojo behind. Now, years after the fact Gojo is realizing that Geto's violent action was necessary and he's essentially leaving his role as a sorcerer to become more like Gojo. He's finally understood why Geto did what he did, years after the fact, and far too late.

In one sense Gojo is becoming Geto in this scene. In another sense, he's recalling how he felt years before when he watched Geto walk away. Geto is the one who kept Gojo from being a monster and kept him on the path of being a sorcerer, only for Geto to go off that path himself. Not only that though, but in their final conversation, Geto made sure to still try to keep Gojo on that path.

Remember this line from the original draft:

"If you want to kill me, kill me. I wouldn’t mind if it were by your hand. But make sure mine is the only life you take.”

This line is essentially the same as this, but look at the paneling.

Gojo is about to unleash a hollow purple on Geto, but when Geto disappears into the crowd of people he stops. In order to kill Geto, he would have had to kill several innocent people in the crowd so Gojo hesitates.

The original draft lines indicate that Geto did this on purpose. He told Gojo to be sure only to kill him and not kill anyone else because he still wants Gojo to remain a sorcerer. Geto was resolved to become a monster on his own and didn't want to drag Gojo down with him.

Geto is leaving and he doesn't want Gojo to become with, because Gojo is the happiest when he's a sorcerer.

In the Hidden Inventory Gojo is playing the role of Yuta, begging Geto not to become a monster alone only to be left behind. In the future Gojo resolves to become a monster like Geto. Even though he's finally trying to understand his friend, he's a year too late. Geto is dead and he can't catch up now.

[777gojosgf]

GUILTY AS SIN?

777GOJOSGF IS TYPING…

777gojosgf: fem!reader x satoru gojo

IN WHERE :: you can’t stop thinking about him and his stupid face.

what if he’s written mine on my upper thigh…

“FUCK,” YOU EXHALED, cursing yourself for even thinking about him in this way. that your mind gradually wandered and imagined many situations of him in your brain, wanting to see how he would feel. a sloppy top lip kiss or simply a hug from him. it didn't matter how explicit it was; it was poor overall.

there was no specific reason why you were envisioning scenarios regarding the two of you. you couldn't stand him. his arrogance, refusal to be defeated, and capacity to do anything he wanted without regard for the consequences. when you were on a mission together, he spent more time taunting you than focusing on the evil spirits you were intended to defeat.

but—there was something about him. something so appealing and seductive that he had your attention and you had become accustomed to his taunts. that everytime you two were assigned to the same mission, your stomach would do a tiny flip for no apparent reason. that whenever he removed his blindfold, he could catch your breath, or when his white hair formed a mess on top of his head that was difficult to resist running your hand over.

there was no denying that you wanted him.

and you cursed him for it everyday since.

you were watching him teach the first years by showing off and breaking a specific grade curse, which got him a sneer from you. itadori looked at him with ambition and glee, which satoru simply took pride in. it was his habit to brag whenever his students were present or on a mission he had dragged them on. but when were you around? he would go to great lengths for fun. because he knew you couldn't stand it.

because he wanted to know how much effect he had on you.

however, you had no idea when your mind began to wander about him and what it would be like if it was just the two of you. what you would do if you didn’t have the ability to restrict yourself. to determine who would break first. perhaps it is you, after all, who will fall for his schemes. perhaps it was his lips that held your attention. you even started to wonder if it would be that bad if you were to crack and fall for him— what the fuck.

how could you ever consider that? perhaps there was a parasite in your head that was whispering these possibilities to you. yup! that must be it, right?

“what are you thinking about, princess?” he called out from behind and you immediately turned around, almost getting whiplash in the moment. blood ran to your face and it suddenly felt way too hot in this place, did someone turn off the air conditioning? god. get it together, you told yourself.

“don’t call me that— you showoff.” you muttered and rolled your eyes, quickly averting your gaze away from him and onto the first years who now were having an argument— more like nobara having to keep megumi and yuuji apart and stop them from ripping each other’s head off— and sighed.

you were forced to look at him when his cool fingers reached for your chin and turned your face towards his, the chilly sensation suddenly becoming rather pleasant on your heated face. there was an arrogant smirk on his face, which made you scowl and bite your lip for saying something you didn't mean. "in ten years, i haven't made you blush before, it’s quite cute, you know?"

"i’m not blushing, you idiot; it's just fucking hot in here. you always believe you're such a flirt, don't you? well, you are not." you weakly defended yourself and wished you hadn't said anything at all; now you simply appear stupid and foolish. despite your stomach flipping a thousand times a minute, you couldn't seem to look at him.

your weak defense made him laugh and amusement was drawn onto his face. “are you done rambling now?” he asked while dragging his blindfold with one finger down, blue eyes boring into yours which made you immediately go quiet and it didn’t help with the fact that you already were blushing like a maniac. “good. now tell me what you were thinking about.”

fine. two people can play this game if that’s what he wanted so badly.

“you.”

in reaction to your comment, his brow furrowed in uncertainty. what about him? when did you start thinking about him, and why now? after years of being together, innumerable missions, and losing the same people. how come you're thinking about him now?

“me?”

"you— yeah. i was thinking about you and, you know, me." you responded with confidence and a cheeky smirk on your face. you had no idea where this newfound confidence came from, but you felt a sense of satisfaction as you watched him astonished by your response. he had not expected you to think about him, let alone be with you in your mind. did this imply that he had never considered it himself?

he quickly gathered himself and glanced at you for a minute, leaning into you. "and what were we supposedly doing up there?" he poked your forehead with his index finger, making you chuckle before leaning into him, a taunting glint in your eyes. "a little along the lines of this—" you interrupted yourself with a short kiss on his jaw. he wouldn't have believed it unless you cupped his face and drew him in closer.

“oh yeah?”

"mhmm—" you replied before stepping on your tiptoes and kissing his lips softly. the light brush of your lips against his made you feel tingly all over, and just as you were ready to lean back and break it, satoru came forward and caught your lips once more in a hungry kiss. a kiss that virtually screamed that he desired this as much as you did.

you finally broke the kiss, and your body missed his gentle touch. it was tempting to lean in once more and kiss him till your last breath, but wouldn't it be more enjoyable to tease him yourself? he was ready to say something when you placed your finger on top of his lips, prompting him to raise his eyebrows. "catch me after you're done showing off, satoru."

and with that, you walked off and went ahead to deal with your own errands as you had only killed time watching him before it was time for you to do the exact same thing. you hadn’t dared to turn around and watch his clueless expression, no. instead you were bracing for what would happen later today and excitement lightened up your face.

"you're in so much trouble, princess." you just laughed after hearing him shout out faintly as you had no idea that it wasn't just an empty promise.

[tsams-and-co-memes]

TEAPS Eclipse Canon Info

Updated - 9/7/24

Eclipse's likes:

Cyberpunk (the aesthetic, I’m assuming)

Scaring children (<- possibly a past iteration of him enjoyed scaring kids, but it's unknown if he still feels that way)

Anything SCP related

Glowing (according to a statement he made once. He could've been lying though, so I'm not sure)

Kids (<- this was mumbled, and it's possible that it was sarcasm)

Papers, Please (it's one of his favorite games)

Theoretical physics

Puzzles (he likes things that help keep the mind sharp)

Eclipse's dislikes:

Being ignored

Tattletail

Bloodmoon

Humans (he thinks they're disgusting)

Miscellaneous:

Eclipse’s birthday is June 1st

He watches anime. At the very least, we know he’s watched Re: Zero

It was Eclipse's happy thoughts that spawned Lunar (according to Lunar himself)

He may possibly have an interest in the backrooms/the backrooms lore, since he teleported Sun and Moon to places similar or identical to the backrooms

He can be picky about thematic character names (ex: Potion Permit NPCs having names based on their jobs, like Mayor Myer)

He finds a decent amount of attraction appeal in military-esque attire

He's the tiniest bit vain, even seeing art of himself in military attire and saying, "I will say, it is rather pleasant to see me in such a... Uniform. Very much.”

Before dying, Eclipse had made attempts to study the astral bodies

Eclipse's body is made from parts of fazcade arcade machines

He doesn't care about fashion or media

Eclipse's rays don't move

Eclipse knows how to drive

Eclipse implied that he's dealt with vampires before (the implication was either vampires or Bloodmoon)

Eclipse is/has been studying theoretical physics. Not for a specific reason, aside from the fact that it interests him

Eclipse doesn't watch any shows

He has a tendency to push away anyone that he starts getting close with

[thatdogmagic]

Remember this smug as hell post?

Well, keep it in mind.

I'm going to give some people here the benefit of the doubt and go into this post with the assumption that they genuinely don't know how fucking awful the Tumblr """"porn filters"""" are for images deemed - or reported by users as - 'NSFW.'

This is a rehash of everything I wrote out before, but it's going over all of it in one big post, because this issue with community labels moves well beyond debates over what is and isn't NSFW. There are doublestandards within doublestandards, and no way at all for artists and creators to know for sure if their post is going to get blacklisted.

We're not merely talking about the fact that these filters exist. We're talking about the fact that they are wildly inconsistent, and that reported images aren't seen initially by a person so much as an extremely stupid algorithm. That's why there's the option to say 'this ruling was made in error.'

There are literally no set guidelines for what qualifies as NSFW, and what doesn't, when it comes to nudity, and to what characters those guidelines actually apply. Staff rulings do not match up to one another. They legitimately do not make sense. You cannot divine how a ruling is going to end up, and it is infuriating that staff is jerking us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted artists like us back.

Not only that, they were, yes: that fucking smug about it. In case you forgot, that 'cheater' picture is talking about people who fled the NSFW ban specifically.

Examples follow:

Both of these images were caught by the filters, and then appealed. The first one was (visibly, as you can see) downgraded to Everyone, in spite of the character showing more secondary sex characteristics than the first (breast, visible nipple).

Similarly, a male character showing a pube fluff was left alone, even in spite of being cited in my appeal on the second image.

Last, there is, as noted, this readily available image of Felicia, that you can find by searching 'darkstalkers Felicia' on the search bar. Did people forget that she's bottomless, and those aren't panties?

Using fluff to cover junk is an age-old trick for characters like this. And it clearly isn't a problem with the male character.

Further, you can go through just about any archive and see a ton of images that were not subject to community labels, many of which are much more racy, and much more legitimately "NSFW."

So, yes, beyond the disgust of Tumblr staff treating any body like mine as filthy and inherently sexual in nature, this is also about a system that is arbitrary, penalizes artists for no good reason, and has deeply opaque standards. You never know when a piece of yours is going to run afoul of a bot, or what a staff ruling will ultimately be, or why the ruling is there in the first place.

And that's bullshit. If you think it's anything other than bullshit, you're being a contrarian ass. Especially since a forced label absolutely WILL kill your visibility, where compared to implementing the label yourself. It is punitive, it is punishing, and I will say again: it is completely unnecessary to jerk us around like this when the platform very clearly wanted us back.

And now that we are, we're back to being treated like garbage, constantly having to guess what the rules actually mean, how they apply, and to which sorts of bodies they apply, all while watching our viewcounts on contested posts eat ten kinds of shit.

tl;dr, do not talk to me about 'following rules' when the rules are so ill-defined as to be quite literally useless, to me, and to every other artist on this website.

[jangofettjamz]

Confessions

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

Summary: Unexpected events bring you and Jenna a lot closer

Warnings: Abelism

Words: 4430

A/N: You are Emma myers' twin in this fic.

Y/N pov

It's been too long since I've seen Emma. I'm so proud of my twin sister, she's come so far with her career and now she's in a Tim Burton production, like WHAT?!

Emma's so talented and she deserves every amount of success and fortune the world has to give, she's earned that much.

She's currently filming in Romania for her new show "Wednesday", a spinoff show based on the famous addams family, and specifically the daughter of the family: "Wednesday Addams"; played by Jenna Ortega.

I was invited to come and visit her and the cast and crew on set, flight and accommodation paid for and all. Though I was hesitant, being this far away from home wasn't entirely appealing at first, but I couldn't squander the opportunity to see my sister.

However, that's not the only reason I wanted to go. As luck would have it, I've had a crush on Jenna Ortega for a long time and Emma knew this. She visited our home a few times when Emma and her were getting to know each other. Emma had to introduce me to her as she knows I'm not the best at conversation, especially when meeting new people.

We've talked a little everytime she visited, but I was always too shy to say anything other than a few meger words. I never really got to know her as a person.

She assures me she's the most kind and gentle person she's ever known, I would never doubt my sisters word but it still doesn't put me at ease. Social interaction has never been easy for me, no matter how nice or kind the person I'm talking to is.

My sister has been my number one supporter, and I hers. She's never outed my condition to anyone and assured me she'd never tell Jenna if I didn't want her to know, she's always got my back no matter what and I'm beyond thankful for that.

-

My driver that was assigned to me dropped me off at the sets parking area, not far from the cast's trailers.

"We've arrived sir, Mr Burton will be waiting by the trailers for you." Sir? Gosh that makes me feel so imperial, like an important executive or something, I dunno.

"I er-thank you" I say nervously, my socially awkward nature getting the better of me. I got out of the black SUV and walked to the trailer.

I felt like an outsider here, like I didn't belong so kept my hands in my sleeves and my head down.

There's camera crews here, some extras to fill the background, I even see some of them in cast, but decided not to interact with them. They didn't know me and would probably think I'm some random weirdo who shouldn't be here.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but people have been cruel to me in the past just for trying to talk to them. That's always been my main deterrent from social interaction; the fear of what people will think of me.

These negative thoughts were starting to send me spiralling so I blocked them out for now, making my way to the trailers. I can't wait to see Emma.

I'm at the trailer area and see a man with unkempt hair and tinted glasses leaning against a trailer door, is that... TIM BURTON?! I knew I was gonna meet him but it's kinda unreal when you meet an icon such as him in person.

A smile formed on his face and he made his way towards me, my eyes avert his figure as my nerves began to set in. "Hello Y/N, it's good to finally meet you, your sister holds you in such high esteem." He says offering me a hand to shake.

Emma's been talking about me? To Tim Burton? Good things I hope. "I-I It's nice to meet you to Mr Burton, it's an honor to be here." I say nervously, shaking his hand and meeting his gaze with a nervous smile.

He chuckles "Please just Tim, no need for formalities. You're among friends here, Y/N."

I didn't understand, what did he mean I was among friends? He's just met me and he's nicer than most people have been to me throughout my entire life.

Though puzzling this maybe, I couldn't help but smile at being accepted for once among a group. It felt liberating.

"C'mon let's go meet the cast, I know two that have been dying to meet you." Two? I know Emma is one, but two? Who could possibly want to see me.

I followed to a trailer not far from where we met. I see a coat hanging from the railing of the trailer's steps, that's Emma's coat.

Tim gives me a warm smile and says "She's waiting for you kiddo, she'll be very happy to see you again." I nod and smiled back. I reach for the door know and open the door to the trailer, I see a girl with blonde hair and coloured highlights, is that...

"Emma?" She turns to face me. A smile forms on her face, an smile I would recognise anywhere.

"Y/N/N!!!!" She rushes towards me and tackles me to the ground in a hug, making yelp in the process. Usually this sort of surprising affection would make me nervous, but it was my sister so I all it. Besides I missed her dearly.

I reciprocated the hug, though it was difficult seeing as I was on the ground. "Hi sis', you missed me that much?" I ask playfully while standing back to my feet.

"Like you wouldn't believe, I miss all of you. How have you been?" She asks me, she knows about my struggles and I'm glad she still cares.

"Umm... things have been okay. Socialising is still really difficult, I almost didn't come here because of the distance. You know how much I hate being away from home" she gives a smile of sympathy and rubs my shoulder to comfort.

"But you still did it and I'm so proud of you for taking that step. You're still with family here in Romania, Jenna is excited to see you too, she's so lovely Y/N, you should get to know her" talk to Jenna Ortega? My stomach turns from nervousness.

The door to the trailer suddenly opens, a small Latin girl appears sporting black pigtails and black blazer. Jenna Ortega.

It's not surprising that she's here, she's playing the main character of the show after all. However, it's still messing with my mind that I'm standing in front of MY crush. I didn't know if I was just lucky, or if the universe just wanted me to humiliate myself in front of my crush.

I was quickly pulled out of my thoughts when she turned to me after she stopped talking to Emma. My twin did me a solid and introduced her to me so I didn't have to talk, she knows I don't have great speaking abilities when I meet new people.

She started her introduction "Jenna, you remember Y/N right? My other half." She says which makes Jenna laugh.

"Hi Y/N, it's so nice to see you again. Emma talks about you all the time" Of course she does. I shyly wave at her, averting eye contact away from her, my nerves completely taking over.

She stepped closer to me "Hey, are you okay?" She says sweetly, Emma's right she is really nice. I nod my head to reassure that I'm okay, even though I'm most definitely not and Emma knew this.

The trailer door opened again revealing a tall, dirty blonde guy with long hair. I had never seen him before, he didn't look very nice.

"Hey Jenna, Emma" he says happily, then his eyes fall to me. "Who's this?" He says, his voiced indicating his clear annoyance by my presence.

"Hey percy, this is my twin brother, Y/N" I shyly wave at him, he scoffs and moves swiftly to talk to Jenna. What a dick.

Emma's phone rings "Ah shit, guys I have a scene to do. Please look after him and get to know each other, love you Y/N" she says kissing me on the cheek. Great, now I'm left with two people I don't know, one being my crush, the other, a massive dickhead. Great.

I sit down on the couch behind me, Jenna taking a seat next to me much to percy's dismay. I start playing with my hands, something I do when I'm very nervous. Jenna picked up on this so she decided to ask me a question to ease the tension.

"So Y/N, do you have any interests or hobbies?" She's says to me with a smile, that same sweet tone still consistent.

I started "I-I like movies, I'm a massive horror fan. I build legos, play video games as a hobbie, and do programming as a side job. I find the arithmetic nature of programming to be quite fascinating, keeps my brain constantly at work." I say quietly.

She started to speak again "Programming? Wow you must be quite intelligent to do that" I shrug, my lack of confidence really shining through.

Percy scoffs "Jeez do you just sit there looking depressed all the time." I gave him a pleading look, I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

"N-no I didn't mean t-to--" I cut myself off, not wanting to embarrass myself anymore than I just did. I don't even know what I did wrong, just goes to show my complete lack of social awareness.

But something unexpected happened "Percy, why are you being such an asshole. He's just shy and that's fine. He didn't do anything wrong." She actually came to my aid and defended me.

"I heard he was autistic, Jenna. I overheard Emma talking to him on the phone one time. He's a freak." The moment I heard the word freak my eyes started to tear up, sniffles followed afterwards.

I started to hastily rock myself as a grounding technique, a shaky breath came from my mouth trying to contain the tears within.

Jenna was standing there with a her phone out recording the whole thing, I thought she was doing this to laugh at with percy later, however what happened next changed that theory.

Jenna slapped the smirk off his face, he was on the ground and fear replaced his shit-eating grin. I could see the fear flashing in his eyes as Jenna loomed over him, a fiery anger in her brown orbs.

She raised her right hand and pointed at him while speaking "Don't you ever say that again you abelist dick. Even if he is autistic, I would never think that as a bad thing. Get out Percy, once I show this recording to Tim, you are done" she says calmly, yet angrily simultaneously.

He didn't need to be told twice as he stumbled out the door; fear still emanated from his person after the bitch slap he received.

Jenna POV

What an asshole, like seriously how the fuck could anyone be so shallow to immediately hate someone because they're different. Fuck that guy honestly, the moment we're done filming I'm cutting contact with him completely.

Y/N looked destroyed, I'd seen him a handful of times and this is the longest interaction we've had, but it was heartbreaking nonetheless. I wanted to comfort him since Emma was busy filming. I sat down next to him and started to talk.

"Y/N it's okay now, he's gone and if he knows what good for him, he won't come back." He nodded, seemingly no change was made to his demeanour. I decided a more physical approach was necessary.

"Y/N can I touch you?" He hesitated for a moment but eventually nodded. I touched his shoulder, my thumb rubbing in circles. "Are you autistic, Y/N? It's okay you can tell me, I know you don't know me but I promise I would never judge you, never ever."

I hope he knows my words are genuine, perhaps even comforting. He gives me with one more glance before signing under his breath then nodding, confirming what percy had told me. He shouldn't have outed Y/N like that, it's his right to tell me when or if he even wanted to in the first place.

"You're so brave, you know that?" He looked at me confused. I continued speaking "You're braver than you know sweetheart, I'm so sorry that we had to meet again under these circumstances but I want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I can only imagine how hard it must've been to come here so far away from home, only to be ridiculed by some asshole who doesn't know his head from his own ass." He laughs, making me smile knowing I'm doing something right.

I make a solemn vow to him "I swear to you, that recording I took will be shown to Tim and the producers, he will be dealt with accordingly. I promise you." Percy will not go unpunished for this.

"We've only met a couple times, but you're bravest and sweetest person I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. I can tell that everything you're sister told me about you is true." I wipe his tears from his face with my thumb, his eyes still glassy and red from the crying.

"Why are you so nice to me? You don't even know me." He says barely above a whisper.

"Because unlike Percy, I accept you for who you are and I'll help you whenever you need me. I'm with you now Y/N and I'm not going anywhere." His lips begin to quiver, indicating that he's about to cry again.

"Would you like a hug?" I ask, unsure if that amount of physical touch is something he would want. He nods and I open my arms for him "c'mere honey" he fell into my arms, head on my shoulder as his tears shower my Wednesday outfit, but I couldn't care less.

His arms wrapped tight around me, my arms securely around him. I began to rock him gently to comfort him, my hand carding through his hair. "Shhhh, you're safe now honey, it's just me and you, nobody else. I'm so sorry for what happened but I promise you that everything's gonna be okay, I'm not leaving you."

I feel something for this boy, and I know he feels something for me, Emma may or may not have told me about the crush he has on me. I didn't make him feel embarrassed, now's not the time.

"I-I shouldn't have come h-here, e-everyone hates me!" My heart broke hearing those words. Percy had destroyed his self-esteem with his heartless words, his confidence had vanished into the aether.

I held him tighter against me, wanted him to feel all the affection I can give to counter his negative thoughts. "Nobody hates you Y/N, I certainly don't and neither do your sisters and parents". Percy's words were awful and further projects his insecurities."

"He's right though, I'm am a freak. Emma's normal, my other sisters are normal, my parents too. I can't socialise properly, can't read social cues, I'm only good at messing things up! I'm useless!" He was shaking violently, a barrage of new tears came streaming down his cheeks, Percy was going to pay for what he's done.

I lift his face from my shoulder, holding his cheeks in both my hands. "You are not useless! You're anything but useless! You're incredible Y/N, just like your sister and I've got your back just like I've got hers. Percy is done after today, mark my words."

He smiles at my words, convinced by them even. "You wanna know something?" He looks at me with intrigue. "I've admired you since the day we met, you're so beautiful, sweet and kind. You're not useless at all, you're perfect, just the way you are."

"Everytime your sister talks about you I listen to her in awe of you, you're an amazing person sweetheart, don't ever let someone make you think otherwise." I say with sincerity.

He looked shocked. "You're just saying that." He says not believing me.

"Can I prove it?" I ask a little nervously. He nods and I ask him another question. "Can I kiss you?" A bold move by me but he needed to know just how serious I am.

His cheeks turn a bright pink, very much akin to a rose. He nods and I lean in the kiss his lips softly, a gentle kiss to show him my intention are indeed pure. "I like you alot Y/N, and I'd love to be a part of your life from now on, If you'll have me."

He smiled, genuine and real "I like you too, Jenna. I'd love to have you in my life." I take him back in my arms, in the position we were previously in, rocking him gently in my arms. His eyes began to droop a little, he looked exhausted from all the crying.

"You can fall asleep if you want, just relax darling, everything's gonna be okay now." We sat on the couch, his head on my chest, my arms locked around his figure. "There there, you're okay darling" I cooed softly.

His eyes shut, nothing was heard expect the soft breaths coming from his nose. I kissed his temple and let him sleep until Emma returned from filming, she need to know the truth.

- 2 hours later

I've been catching up on breaking bad while Y/N has been sleeping peacefully on my chest, really good show this is. My hand has been absentmindedly carding through his hair.

God he looks so adorable, I never want to let go of him. I'm honored that he trusts me enough to be apart of his life, to be his girlfriend, an honor I certainly don't take for granted.

The door to the trailer opens, Emma walking through the entrance. She was shocked to see the position me and Y/N laid in, though this was expected as she didn't know what had transpired a couple hours ago.

"We need to talk" I say, she looked at confused but nodded. I began to get up as gently as possible to not wake up Y/N, though it was more tricky than anticipated. He groaned sleepily, not completely aware of his surroundings.

I put him at ease, "it's okay honey, I'll be back don't worry" his body eased at the words and untensed around me, allowing me to lift his head off my chest without waking him. Emma and I walked out of the trailer and gently shut the door behind us, it was time she learned the truth.

"What happened in there?" She asked with concern.

"Watch this video" I show her the recording on my phone, the horror she felt was palpable, her own brother being reduced to tears; by her own co-star no less. "I'm so sorry, Emma" was all I could say.

She turned to me and embraces me in a hug which I returned immediately. "Thank you for helping him, he won't ever forget what you did for him" her voice wobbly, she was crying. "I should've been there to stop him! He's gonna pay for this!" She storms off, presumably to find percy.

I chase after her, jesus she's fast "Emma wait!" I called out but she didn't falter in her movements, she was on a mission to find the asshole who hurt her brother.

After about 5 minutes of searching we found Percy talking with Tim as if he did nothing 2 hours prior, we stormed towards him. Percy's noticed us walking towards him, fear replaced his expression, Tim however was more confused by our angered demeanour.

"YOU ASSHOLE! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT TO HIM, HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU!" Emma exclaimed, tears falling fast down her face. "HE'S THE SWEETEST PERSON IN THE WORLD AND YOU DESTROYED HIM! WHAT FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU! She sobs out, I rubbed her back in comfort.

Tim looked even more confused now "What's going on, Percy what is she talking about?" He says raising an eyebrow, demanding to know what happened.

I answer for him, leaving no chance for Percy to alter the truth in any way. "Watch this video, Tim." He watched the video of what went, disgust was etched onto his face, all the while I was staring down the asshole who caused this mess. The look on his face is priceless, as though his career had flashed before his eyes.

Tim finished the video and turned to percy, inhaling before he spoke. "Percy once you're scenes are finished, you're done, fired. You have no future here." He says coldly, disappointment lacing his rough tone. "You will be paid for your work, but we will cease all contact after that."

Percy was distraught, he begged and pleaded for Tim to reconsider "Please Tim, I'm sorry I really am! It's was just a joke!" Emma was disgusted with him, so was I.

Emma was face to face with percy, she may have been shorter, but her anger made her far more imposing. "I'm not a violent person percy, but if you EVER say or even look at my brother in a way I find offensive ever again, you will be dealing with a far different side of me." He gulped and nodded, knowing better than to test her.

She continued "For your sake, I will not leak those videos, but so help me god I will not hesitate to ruin your life if you step out of line again." And with that she walks off to see her brother.

I walk up to Percy and warn him one final time "Be thankful you're only losing a Job opportunity Percy. Make no mistake, if you make any attempt to contact me, Emma, or dear Y/N, I will leak those videos to everyone and destroy your life within seconds. Do you understand me?" He nodded and I walk away with the knowledge that Percy Hynes White is a coward.

I return to the trailer to find Emma and Y/N talking about what went down with him and Percy "No matter what Y/N, I'll always protect you from people like him, and so will Jenna" he looks over to me and I offer a gentle, reassuring smile and sit down next to him. I kiss his cheek and pulled his head onto my chest and pressed play on the TV.

"So what did I miss with you two?" Emma asks playfully and we both laughed uncontrollably, forgetting the last few hours for a while with laughter and love.

- 9 months later

Wednesday was a massive hit with critics and viewers, my career has skyrocketed to heights I never thought imaginable. Though, I never let that inflate my ego and become someone who I depised, you know who I'm referring to.

Percy was promptly fired after he finished all of his scenes, nor was he allowed to attend any of the press events to promote the show. He hasn't tried to contact me or any of my friends, the first smart decision he's made.

Y/N and I are still going strong, though I wouldn't have doubted that for a second. Like I said to him all those months ago, he's perfect just the way he is.

Socialising is still a struggle for him, so is communicating with me sometimes. However, I vowed to help him and understand his condition, to guide him in a world that misunderstood him.

He's laying on my chest, me stroking his hair. He's asleep after coming with me to a press junket to promote the show. Even if he's behind the cameras, his support is so appreciated.

Emma has been so supportive of our relationship, which is great because I would've hated things to be awkward between, and potentially ruin Y/N's relationship with her.

Fans of mine have began to notice Y/N after his appearance at the premiere, the Internet practically exploded when they saw us hand in hand. Y/N isn't fond of the attention but loves the nice comments people have left, any boost to his self esteem he cherishes.

Suddenly the phone rang, it was Tim Burton, probably discussing plans for season 2. I picked up the phone, being careful not to wake Y/N.

"Hello Jenna, is Y/N with you?" He says. What could he want with Y/N?

"Yeah I'll get him" I gently shake him to wake him up. He groaned as I shook "Babe wake up someone's on the phone for you" he rose from my chest and groggily took the phone from my hand.

"Hello, Y/N speaking" he says lowly.

He talks with tim, his groggy expression is replaced with shock, a stark contrast from earlier.

"Yes ill talk with her about it" talk with me about what? What is Tim planning?

"Thank you I'll see you soon" he hung up and turned to me, a smile etched onto his face like he just won the lottery.

"What?" I say laughing

He opened his mouth, only to stutter when trying to form words. He eventually got his words out "He wants me to replace Percy as Xavier" I scream out of excitement and he quickly covered his ears.

"You're gonna do great, I'll be right there with you" his smile is replaced with worry.

"What if they don't like me as Xavier? What if my acting is bad? I have no acting experience, Jenna. What am I gonna do?" He starts to ramble a bit so I kissed him, calming his nerves within an instant.

He drew back for air and reassured him "You're gonna be great babe, way better than Percy, I guarantee that." I pulled him back to a kiss.

The kiss turned more passionate, only pulling back for pockets of air. "You're so beautiful baby, my beautiful boy" he blushes intensly at my praise. "I love you Y/N, so so much" I say breathlessly. He picks me up while kissing me, leading me to the bedroom. I would love to describe how the rest of our day was spent...

But some things are best kept secret... if you know what I mean. ; )

[antianakin]

hey! i'm a star wars newbie who finally watched the first 6 movies + kenobi show after years of absorbing the sw fandom via friends. i'd become so familiar with the popular fanon takes/characterizations that i was really confused because so much of it seemed contradictory...especially regarding the obi wan & anakin relationship. i was wondering if my take was somewhat similar to yours, as i was immensely relieved to read some of yours and know that i haven't somehow misunderstood the entire series... i realize after writing this all out that it's absolutely a gigantic ask and i totally understand if you don't want to post it! so sorry!

my big thing was that i'd become used to the idea that anakin + obi wan are...obsessed with each other? both platonically and in the ship dynamic itself, especially from anakin's end. obi wan would do anything for anakin, and anakin would do anything for obi wan.

i didn't get that at all. obi wan stands by his jedi ideals, but loves anakin, feels guilt and blames himself for darth vader. but anakin?? somewhat reasonable if it was that he'd do anything for padme - her potential death is what torments him in rots - but...for obi wan? the guy that anakin didn't care enough about to warn/save from order 66? padme brought him up first, going "what about obi-wan" and anakin's response is "uh no idea. a lot of people died. let's hope that he's loyal if he's still around!" i was blown awayyy by the nonchalance. even though he just said farewell to obi wan in a heartwarming encounter where his old master explicitly gave him the trust that anakin is complaining that he doesn't receive, going "i'm proud of you", etc. etc., that's his response. i don't think he tried to help obi wan, or felt any specific turmoil about his likely death. yes he's focused on padme and everything's going so fast, but if anything, it shows that between padme and obi wan, obi wan loses. he doesn't mean as much to anakin, or at least, he's not worth that effort, if that makes sense. or maybe i missed something, since this is my first watch?

my immediate reaction was that anakin 100% fucking knew that obi wan would never approve of the things he's doing and plan to do - and unwilling to face that disappointment, because he does care about obi wan's opinion, he takes the coward's way out and lets palpatine do his thing, probably justifying it through his passivity. he's not directly harming obi wan! he's not responsible! and if obi wan does die and doesn't get to learn or react to the fact that his padawan committed these crimes then it's sad and terrible, but also...more convenient for anakin's own state of mind. and if he's alive - well he better be loyal to the chancellor! everything is about anakin. that's why he turns on padme: because in the end, she mattered more to him than obi wan, but still not more to him than himself.

i have no idea if this is an extremely morbid, bad-faith take since it's so different from what i've seen even amongst non-shipping fans. the assumption seems to be "they loved each other more than anyone, more than themselves!" and in my head after watching rots i'm just confused.

and don't get me wrong: this is not me trying to hate!! the relationship is pivotal to the story, but it's interesting to me because of the huge contradictions in anakin's image of obi wan. how he tries to build him up as larger than life, puts him on a jedi pedestal, and blames everything wrong with his life on him. but also how he undermines obi wan's efforts, has this one-sided rivalry thing going on and thinks he's better than obi wan. and of course, all that mixed with the genuine affection and love he does have for obi wan as a father-figure and master.

and i get the appeal of the absolutely-obsessed-with-each-other trope as well! i just don't think it fits these two. unless you think of it as "obi wan loved anakin, but anakin only became obsessed with him (in a homicidal, resentful, you stand for everything i lost and i can't stand leaving you alone kind of way) later". and i don't think obi wan thinking of/dreaming of anakin years later should be treated as a similar "obsession" because yeahh it seems extremely reasonable for him to be haunted by his own padawan's horrific crimes. i guess if anything it's a twisted one-sided unhealthy obsession? anyways wanted your thoughts on their relationship, if you have any!

I will say that a lot of Star Wars fans pull a lot of their chosen interpretations of these characters from lore beyond the first six films. There's obviously the more recent Disney shows, but there's also plenty of novels/comics that were written both before and after the Disney takeover that people have read, as well as (perhaps most notably) the animated TV show The Clone Wars (2008, not to be confused with the animated webseries Clone Wars from 2001-2002).

I'm not afraid of a long post, but I know it can be frustrating to scroll past for some people, so I'm going to give a short TL;DR before the cut and if you would like to read the extended version, please feel free to keep going, but I'd like to note that this response got unreasonably long.

TL;DR: I think Obi-Wan cares for Anakin a lot and that his arc in the Prequels is about learning to have faith that Anakin will do the right thing and when that faith is betrayed, he has to let go of it in order to do what’s best for the galaxy. Having faith is not the same as obsession. I also think that Obi-Wan loves Anakin selflessly, the way all Jedi learn to love, and this means that sometimes Obi-Wan cannot prioritize Anakin above everyone and everything else, but that this is not an indication of Obi-Wan loving Anakin LESS. I think Anakin does care about Obi-Wan, but that love is always wrapped up in his desire for a different kind of relationship than the one Obi-Wan can provide and that creates a lot of friction in their dynamic and is what allows Padme to eclipse Obi-Wan in Anakin’s affections and priorities. I also think Anakin is absolutely obsessed with gaining Obi-Wan’s approval and while this can lean in a toxic direction, I think that it also manages to sometimes push him to be a better person and creates a healthier relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan than Anakin has with anybody else in his life. I think that the intended reading of their relationship is intended to be positive right up until it isn’t, but that ultimately the writing in the Prequels didn’t always succeed at getting that across and their attempts at fixing it didn’t feel like enough despite the actors’ chemistry with each other.

So I'll start with Obi-Wan and why I agree with you that his feelings for Anakin aren't anywhere NEAR as obsessed or attached as people seem to think. 

Within the Prequels, Obi-Wan’s primary arc as a character is about learning to have faith, both in the will of the Force (TPM) and in Anakin (AOTC). By ROTS, he’s reached the end of that arc and we see the difference in how he reacts to things as a result. He’s a lot more willing to just trust that things will turn out okay, more willing to trust that Anakin will figure himself out and do the right thing if given enough time and encouragement. People have interpreted this as Obi-Wan being too soft on Anakin or blind to Anakin’s faults or being too attached to Anakin (and therefore perhaps being willing to OVERLOOK faults that he knows Anakin has because he’d rather protect Anakin from the Council’s condemnation). 

But I don’t personally see it that way and I don’t honestly believe it’s what we’re supposed to take from his behavior. Obi-Wan is quite critical of Qui-Gon’s faith in TPM and then critical of Anakin himself in AOTC, so it’s not like he’s just always been willing to overlook Anakin’s flaws and mistakes. Obi-Wan’s LACK of faith earlier on is clearly positioned as a flaw for him to overcome. Just because that faith is misplaced and his trust goes unrewarded in the end doesn’t necessarily mean that he was wrong to have it in the first place. Obi-Wan’s faith allows him to accept that Anakin has faults and will make mistakes and trust that Anakin’s compassion and Jedi training will allow him to overcome those faults and learn from his mistakes. This is, in fact, the OPPOSITE of attachment. This is Obi-Wan choosing to let go of all of his worries about the future and living in the “here and now” as he is told to do by Qui-Gon in his very first scene. He accepts that there is only so much he can do to control Anakin’s fate and the rest of it is up to Anakin. 

In The Clone Wars 2008 (TCW), the problem with analyzing their relationship is that the structure of this show is so episodic and disconnected that there’s generally no set-up and no aftermath to the things that happen to these characters in individual episodes or arcs (which are anywhere from 2-4 episodes long out of a 22 episode season). So instead of trying to analyze an arc across the whole show, I will look at one specific arc that is really the only one that focuses on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s relationship (and perhaps one of the more controversial storylines in the entire show): the Deception arc.  

In this arc, Obi-Wan chooses to fake his death as a part of the Jedi Council's plan to discover an enemy plot that would be particularly disastrous for the Republic if it succeeded and possibly cost them the war. Obi-Wan chooses NOT to read Anakin in on this plan and part of the plan actually hinges on Anakin reacting to Obi-Wan's death as though it were real in order to make it convincing to their enemies, so Obi-Wan dies right in front of Anakin and Anakin has no idea that it isn't real until some time later and he is, understandably, fairly upset about it.

I think that this arc shows a lot about how Obi-Wan approaches their relationship. Obi-Wan doesn't necessarily WANT to cause Anakin pain, but he is also perfectly willing to do exactly that if it's in the name of protecting the needs of the many. In this case, Obi-Wan believes that he is protecting the whole Republic from losing a war. Anakin's temporary pain cannot be prioritized above the very real consequences of the Republic losing the war to the Separatists. Obi-Wan is capable of making the hard decision when it comes down to it, even if it means hurting someone he loves, even if it might cost him that relationship. And I also think that the emphasis on Obi-Wan’s choice to deceive Anakin (something that Yoda and even Mace Windu seem a little uncertain about) gives some interesting insight. Obi-Wan and the Jedi basically had to look at Anakin and wonder if his inability to keep secrets well (they’re all aware of Anakin’s relationship with Padme despite his attempts to deny it) was a bigger problem than his unpredictability in the face of strong emotions like grief. There is a very obvious acknowledgement of Anakin's flaws here, and the difference between Obi-Wan and Yoda/Mace in this instance isn't that one of them can see Anakin's flaws and the other can't, but that they disagree on which flaw is going to be a bigger issue for the mission in the long term. Obi-Wan chooses to have faith that Anakin will manage his emotions but doesn't really believe in Anakin's acting abilities and OpSec sensibilities.

Because of the way TCW is structured, we have no real aftermath to this particular arc, there's no further discussion or exploration of how it impacts Anakin and Obi-Wan once the four episode arc is over, so all we can really do is analyze what happens DURING the arc, and I do think that it showcases the same theme of faith and a willingness to do his duty while acknowledging Anakin's flaws that we have seen in Obi-Wan through the Prequel trilogy. Obi-Wan prioritizes his duty over anything else, because to do otherwise is to fail as a Jedi and potentially to condemn millions if not trillions of people to death and torture and slavery. (Which doesn't mean he doesn't love Anakin, but simply that his feelings for Anakin do not eclipse that particular duty. Not everyone would make the same choice, and that doesn't necessarily mean that their love is automatically toxic or more selfish than Obi-Wan’s, but Obi-Wan's choice to place his duty over Anakin's feelings also doesn't automatically mean that he doesn't care about Anakin at all or that he cares less about Anakin than Anakin cares for him.)

The last thing I will say about this arc in this section is that fandom often misinterprets this arc as the Council FORCING Obi-Wan to lie to Anakin. This is explicitly contradicted IN THE DIALOGUE, Obi-Wan point blank tells Anakin that it was his choice and not the Council's and Yoda questions the decision early on and claims it to be have been a mistake later, so anyone claiming that the Council forced this on Obi-Wan is just wrong.

There's a lot of comics and novels that look more at this relationship that I have never actually read, so just know that some fans' interpretations of their relationship could be coming from having consumed these comics and novels as kids. The one novel I'll discuss a little is Matthew Stover's Revenge of the Sith novelization. I will fully admit I haven't read it myself, I've only read snippets of it, but it comes really highly regarded and well reviewed. The line in question here comes from an extended version of the conversation between Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Mace Windu where they're talking about Anakin as Yoda heads off to Kashyyyk.

“I think," Obi-Wan said carefully, "that abstractions like peace don't mean much to him. He's loyal to people, not to principles. And he expects loyalty in return. He will stop at nothing to save me, for example, because he thinks I would do the same for him." Mace and Yoda gazed at him steadily, and Obi-Wan had to lower his head. "Because," he admitted reluctantly, "he knows I would do the same for him.”

Now, the bit about Anakin at the top I think is completely accurate. But I do not buy that Obi-Wan would ever do the same for Anakin. We actually see so many moments that explicitly seem to prove this wrong, that Obi-Wan would NOT “stop at nothing” to save him. Obi-Wan seems to very explicitly prioritize doing his duty above Anakin when push comes to shove. Most obviously, Obi-Wan does actually go fight Anakin after Order 66 and tries more than once to kill him and ultimately leaves him to die on Mustafar. Obi-Wan does his duty when Anakin doesn't give him another choice. He's unable to land a final killing blow, yes, and this does seem to be a direct payoff to his claim to Yoda that he can't kill Anakin because of how much he cares about Anakin, but Anakin is pretty badly injured and ON FIRE by the time Obi-Wan walks away, so there's really no reason to believe that Anakin won't just die here (especially since Yoda is supposed to be handling Palpatine). He's willing to let Anakin die to spare the galaxy.

It doesn't even make any SENSE for it to be true, especially with the implication that Mace and Yoda both also believe it to be true. Obi-Wan is on the Jedi High Council and has the rank of Master, something that isn't just handed out lightly (as seen by the refusal to give it to Anakin when he hasn’t earned it), and the rest of this book goes out of its way to have the Council point out how much they love and trust Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan is THEIR DUDE, they think he's the best at everything ever and trust only him with the most dangerous missions because of how great he is. But somehow the two highest ranked members of this Jedi Council also simultaneously believe that Obi-Wan would "stop at nothing" (which encompasses so many things from just abandoning his duty to literally destroying democracy and committing genocides) to save one person. I don't see how these two things can both be true at once. If Mace and Yoda genuinely believed this about Obi-Wan, they never should've given him this position of leadership and I don't buy that they'd think as highly of him as they clearly do in this book. It's ridiculous. I'm sure the book is great, the prose in the snippets I've read of it do seem to be really pretty and there's plenty I've read that I've actually quite enjoyed, but this line just pisses me off. So it's possible you will see people try to use this line to argue that Obi-Wan was obsessed with/attached to Anakin, but I think that's kind-of bullshit and I don't think it even makes sense within the book it exists in.

And that leaves us with the Disney era, and the one thing we can really look at here is the Obi-Wan Kenobi show. 

Obi-Wan is obviously struggling a lot for the majority of the show and the core of it is what happened with Anakin, but it goes so far beyond that. He's lost his entire family, his community, his culture, his home, and both he and his people are being hunted down. The one person he feels he has left is being raised by people who won't even let them speak to each other. The only other possible connection he can make is with someone who died decades earlier and he's not succeeding at making that connection. Those failures eat away at him just as much as anything else does. It's not just about Anakin and it never is.

I’m also going to go back to that initial theme of FAITH for Obi-Wan. In the Prequels, his arc is about learning to have faith in the will of the Force and in Anakin. That faith was betrayed in the end, and so his faith is pretty minimal during this show at the beginning. But each time he’s proven wrong by a new person he meets, he gains it back a little more. He starts to trust that people ARE inherently good, that there’s a reason to keep fighting, and that he can believe in a better world. And he does try to bring that newfound faith into his confrontation with Anakin in the end, he apologizes to Anakin “for everything” and doesn’t take the opportunity to kill him when Anakin is defeated. But he does have to let go of his faith in Anakin, he has to accept that this is a faith that is never again going to be rewarded. He has to accept that he wasn’t wrong to have faith in general and that he SHOULD be more trusting of people in general, and Anakin made his own choices and will CONTINUE to make his own choices regardless of what Obi-Wan does or does not do. Just because Anakin chose to betray him doesn’t mean that Obi-Wan was wrong to trust him. Again, the end of this entire story for Obi-Wan is about recognizing Anakin’s inherent flaws and accepting them before choosing to WALK AWAY. 

The Obi-Wan Kenobi show is not a perfect show by any means, and I will never try to claim that it is. One of the issues with it is that there are some logistical issues in it that are a little confusing if taken literally. So one of the ways that I am able to make my peace with those little logistical problems is to see the show as more of a long visual metaphor for Obi-Wan's journey towards mental health rather than taking it literally. Maybe all of it happened exactly as we saw it, maybe it didn't.

The visions that Obi-Wan seems to have of Anakin could be taken literally as actual visions Obi-Wan is having, but it could also be interpreted as just a metaphor for Obi-Wan's guilt and pain and fear. 

The flashback sequence where Obi-Wan and Anakin are sparring together could be taken literally as a regular flashback, it could be interpreted as a shared Force vision between the two of them, or it could be interpreted as just a representation of Obi-Wan and Anakin’s state of mind in the present day as they engage in a battle of wits. It also reinforces that idea of a shared history and how Obi-Wan's strength has never been in pure power but in cleverness and resourcefulness..

And that final confrontation could have happened. Maybe it did. But maybe it didn't. Anakin is a representation of Obi-Wan’s faith and trust being betrayed, but he’s been re-learning that trust and faith in people IS rewarded more often than it isn’t, so his faith in Anakin wasn’t the issue. And even if it were, it doesn't really matter anymore. Even if Obi-Wan did make mistakes with Anakin, he was never controlling Anakin's choices. Anakin made these choices himself and is STILL making them himself and the responsibility for them should be placed squarely on Anakin's shoulders. Obi-Wan has to let go of his need to understand Anakin's choices in order to forgive himself for whatever part he may have played in them and learn to have hope for the future again. The confrontation between Obi-Wan and Anakin is, to me, just as much a confrontation between Obi-Wan and his own fears as it is a confrontation between Obi-Wan and Anakin. It's not dissimilar from the Dagobah cave sequence with Luke.

So, personally, I see this entire scene as just one giant metaphor rather than something more literal. Which is why I can accept Obi-Wan walking away from Anakin a second time, knowing that Anakin will continue to live and torment the galaxy as a result, rather than finishing the job when he has the opportunity and doing his duty. Because if it’s not really happening, then Obi-Wan walking away is just a visual representation of him choosing to let go of his guilt and his doubts and his fears, and not a complete failure on Obi-Wan’s part that condemns the galaxy to another decade under Vader’s thumb. I don’t see this show as proof that Obi-Wan is obsessed with Anakin so much as I see it as the show choosing to use Anakin’s visage as a representation of Obi-Wan’s feelings weighing him down. 

So, in conclusion, my interpretation is that Obi-Wan has FAITH in Anakin (and the will of the Force) in the Prequels, which constitutes acknowledging and accepting Anakin’s flaws while simultaneously choosing to believe that Anakin will be able to overcome them. This is the definition of balance in Star Wars, and something every Jedi is striving to achieve. That faith is severely damaged after Order 66 and Obi-Wan does flounder as a result, but is able to ultimately regain his faith in people and in the will of the Force by accepting that he can no longer have faith in Anakin and that Anakin made his own choices despite the support and training he received from Obi-Wan. 

Which brings us to Anakin.

I don’t find your take to be particularly morbid at all. It’s a little bad faith, but I will say that the thing with bad faith takes is that sometimes that interpretation comes from a problem in the writing creating a dissonance with the intended message. So while it sometimes doesn’t appear as though Anakin cares very much about Obi-Wan, the dialogue and vibes of the films are trying to let us know that he DOES care about Obi-Wan quite a lot and that it’s a pretty central relationship in Anakin’s life that he relies on (and, to some degree, takes for granted). I’m not sure that this always comes across super well, especially in the films (and most especially in AOTC), and that lends itself to more bad faith takes on their relationship. So despite my love for bad faith takes about Anakin, I will attempt to be as balanced as I can here.

I do think that almost all of Anakin’s canon relationships have an element of attachment to them, even the nicer ones, which means that there’s always some element of obsession and possessiveness to it, and Obi-Wan is not an exception.

Part of why I think he has this relationship with Obi-Wan is due to Anakin’s desperate need to have someone whose life revolves around him, replicating the relationship he had with Shmi. Despite the fact that Shmi was not attached to Anakin, their relationship was defined by the environment in which he was raised. Shmi’s entire world revolved around Anakin and doing what was best for him and making him happy to try to make up for the fact that they were enslaved as much as she was capable of providing. And, on some level, Anakin NEEDS that, but Obi-Wan never actually provides it (because Obi-Wan is a Jedi and cannot let his life revolve around one person and is attempting to teach Anakin those same values, not because Obi-Wan doesn’t care about Anakin or cares about him less than Shmi did). Obi-Wan is, for ten years, the primary relationship in Anakin’s life, but the frustration of not getting precisely what he wants out of it leads to resentment and obsession. 

Ironically, I also think that this also leads to Anakin’s relationship with Obi-Wan being one of the healthiest Anakin ever has. Anakin wants Obi-Wan’s approval and in order to get it, Anakin has to actually act MORE LIKE A JEDI, which generally involves a lack of attachment. So there’s actually multiple moments in both the films and TCW where we see Obi-Wan’s relationship with Anakin sort-of inspire an ability to act more rationally and selflessly than he does with other people he’s attached to (Shmi, Padme, Ahsoka, even Palpatine sometimes). 

My favorite example of this is actually in TCW. The basic premise is that Obi-Wan and Anakin (and Ahsoka and their troops) are on a mission that goes south quickly and they end up separated. Towards the beginning, Anakin learns that Obi-Wan’s ship crashed and so he’s probably pretty injured if he’s still alive at all, but Anakin and his troops are still pretty far away from where Obi-Wan is. It’s actually Ahsoka who protests when Anakin decides to ignore the information and just keep moving forward, and while Anakin initially snaps at her about it, he then immediately centers himself and turns back to explain that while they COULD run ahead to help Obi-Wan, it would mean abandoning their troops in enemy territory to do it, and they have to prioritize protecting their men and trust that Obi-Wan will be okay on his own. This moment shows not only that Anakin can actually make the right decision on his own despite how emotional he is about Obi-Wan’s situation, but also that when he DOES let his emotions control him a little, he is also able to center himself enough to explain all of this to his student rather than just shut her down. Being a better Jedi has the ripple effect of helping Anakin’s men and his student (as well as potentially ensuring the success of the mission in the long term by making sure that his men survive to bolster their forces later). 

So, I do think there’s an obsession on Anakin’s end of things, but this obsession doesn’t necessarily mean that he can’t be obsessed with someone else MORE or that the obsession can’t turn into something healthier and more mature with some effort. 

As far as Anakin's nonchalance towards Obi-Wan in the films goes, one of my biggest criticisms of AOTC is that the relationship between Anakin and Obi-Wan was not handled particularly gracefully. This is something that they did recognize in post production and tried to fix by adding in that elevator scene towards the beginning, but it definitely gets overwhelmed by the more negative vibes of their relationship in the rest of the movie. They spend most of their time arguing with each other or critiquing each other in conversations with other people. 

I do wish we’d gotten more of a positive dynamic between them in AOTC to help sell that these two characters cared about each other despite their disagreements, but we didn’t. But the fact that they chose to film an extra scene specifically to help make their relationship more positive tells me that the intended reading of their relationship is supposed to be positive even if they’re going through a rough patch within the context of that one movie.The other thing to keep in mind is that Anakin is supposed to be 19 years old in AOTC and this kind of… rejection of the parental figure’s authority at the same time as they are desperate for the parent’s approval seems fairly normal for teenagers, and we know that Lucas was trying to make Anakin a relatively authentic “whiny teenager” (I think Hayden Christensen said something to Lucas during filming about how the character came off as a whiny teenager and Lucas’s response was “but he IS a whiny teenager”). So while that bratty behavior tends to read as a lack of care, it probably wasn’t intended that way.

They do seem a lot closer during the Invisible Hand sequence at the beginning of ROTS where their banter feels less mean-spirited and they’re able to figure out compromises when they disagree. They feel more like equals with a greater confidence and comfort in their relationship. The problem for me here is that AOTC’s failure to really make it seem like Anakin and Obi-Wan cared about each other makes this sudden change to their dynamic in ROTS feel a little jarring to me. There is a three year time gap, obviously, but it doesn’t feel like quite enough, especially since his betrayal of Obi-Wan happens halfway through the film and that emotional ending is only earned if we bought into their relationship as a positive thing that mattered to both of them. 

This is where TCW steps in. I have… issues with TCW and the way Obi-Wan and Anakin are written in the show sometimes, but one of the things it did try to do was help bridge that gap between their rockier relationship dynamic in AOTC and the much more positive one they have in ROTS. In the earlier seasons, there’s still some of that rebelliousness from Anakin, that need he feels to one-up Obi-Wan by refusing to do what he asks and butting heads with him at every opportunity. By the later seasons, we see their dynamic shift more towards what we saw in ROTS, where their interactions feel more like friendly teasing and banter than butting heads. Some of the reason for this is just time passing, some of it is Anakin being Knighted and he and Obi-Wan able to be equals in a way that wasn’t as possible in their Master/Padawan dynamic, but the biggest explanation TCW provides for why their relationship shifted was Anakin being given a Padawan of his own which allowed him to mature and connect with Obi-Wan in a way he never would have otherwise. 

However, while Obi-Wan and Anakin’s relationship is intended to have stabilized and improved over those three years between AOTC and ROTS, he also betrays Obi-Wan four days later and then proceeds to try to kill him personally, so TCW also tried to provide an explanation for that. This is where we come back to the Deception arc and look at Anakin’s side of things. 

First off, the Deception arc does actually provide some solid evidence of how much Anakin truly cares about Obi-Wan and how he reacts to Obi-Wan being in danger when Padme isn’t a part of the equation. During the time period where Anakin thinks Obi-Wan is dead, he becomes very disoriented and fractured. Anakin has a tendency to mask his grief with anger (something we see pretty clearly when his mother dies in AOTC) and that is exactly what happens after Obi-Wan's "death." He is able to mostly control himself at the beginning of the arc (including stating out loud that he WANTS to kill the assassin who “killed” Obi-Wan and the only reason he doesn’t is out of respect for Obi-Wan’s memory), but he isn't really opening up to anybody and seems to be pushing away everyone who cares about him.

When Anakin learns the truth about Obi-Wan’s deception, he seems to mostly hold it together until the mission is actually complete, but his true feelings come to light when he speaks to Obi-Wan afterwards and they aren't pretty. He's angry with Obi-Wan for the deception, angry at the seeming lack of trust. But despite Obi-Wan telling him point blank that it was HIS choice to deceive Anakin rather than something the Council forced him to do, Anakin refuses to see this as anything other than a flaw in the Council, wondering aloud how often they've lied to both himself AND Obi-Wan. This clearly is intended to show a wedge being shoved into the relationship Anakin has with Obi-Wan and the Council, a breach of trust in the name of the greater good (something Anakin doesn’t truly believe in or respect much), and this adds to the resentment and frustration that Palpatine is encouraging in Anakin so that by the time they reach the events of ROTS, Anakin can convince himself to turn on Obi-Wan and the Jedi because they were “traitors to the Republic” and “trying to take over.” He knows it isn’t true, but the things that he knows were true in the past allow him to pretend that what he’s doing now is right. They were willing to lie to him and betray him once, why couldn’t it be true a second time?

This arc is interesting in how it sort-of portrays both the worst and best of their relationship. Anakin does manage to control himself at the beginning, specifically because he wants to respect Obi-Wan’s values even if Obi-Wan himself is dead. He wants to live up to the person Obi-Wan believed him to be, despite how much pain he’s currently in and how much he WANTS to hurt the assassin he thinks caused it. Keep in mind just how quickly he turned on the Tuskens and how little thought he put into killing them all until it was over, and then compare that to Anakin making the choice to hold himself back when it’s Obi-Wan’s death he’s faced with instead of his mother’s. But by the end, when it’s not regular grief he’s faced with but broken trust, we see Anakin find it difficult to see things from Obi-Wan’s point of view, we see his respect for Obi-Wan’s values disappear. But because he cares about Obi-Wan, he also then refuses to believe something that Obi-Wan is telling him very plainly because he’d actually rather blame the Council and aim his pain at the Council than face the truth that Obi-Wan lied to him and perhaps didn’t trust him the way Anakin thought he did. Anakin has a tendency to paint over uncomfortable truths with pretty lies instead of facing them and that’s exactly what he does here, perhaps to the ultimate detriment of his relationship with both Obi-Wan and the Council. 

Unfortunately, due to the way TCW is structured, there is exactly no further exploration of these events and how they impact Anakin and Obi-Wan going forward. We have no idea when or how Anakin chose to forgive Obi-Wan, and since this arc is pretty close to the end of the season, I don’t think we even see them in a scene together again until the following season when they seem totally fine around each other and there’s no lingering resentment or bitterness at all. I don’t know if this would make Anakin’s unwillingness to really try to save Obi-Wan from Order 66 at all make more sense or not, but I do think that’s part of the intent behind this particular arc. 

I often feel the way you do in my more bitter moments, like Anakin didn’t really care for Obi-Wan at all if he was able to betray him like that in the end, like Obi-Wan was always playing second fiddle to Padme and that should’ve been a bigger issue in their relationship than it was presented as, and like Obi-Wan deserved a better friend and student than he got in Anakin. I understand the appeal the relationship has for people, especially given how central it is to their characters, and I have enjoyed it myself in the past, but I’m just less into it these days. Even when I did like them, though, I don’t think I viewed them as equally obsessed with each other, and even if I did, that wasn’t why it appealed to me. To each their own, obviously, but the nice thing about the Star Wars fandom is that it’s large enough that there’s generally something for everyone to enjoy even if you don’t like all of it. If you’re interested in exploring more of Star Wars, I really hope that you go for it and find the parts of it that really speak to you! 

[secretpostsposts]

A few things that came to mind about possessive Brozone (I should make a specific # for this, because I think it will become something recurring, and the beloved little brother one is for the fanfic thing)

Schedules

Branch is a habit troll and likes to stick to a routine (that's cannon and no one will tell me no), so when his brothers start to realize this, Clay is the first to start a schedule, marking what Branch does in the day, what days he does what thing and how long it takes him to do it; With that done, the 4 brothers divide that schedule, they have it divided by colors and they fight a lot about it because Floyd is usually the one who has the most time with Branch, and they spend time with Branch.

Branch doesn't think much of it because his older brothers aren't dumb and every week they make changes to the schedule to prevent anyone from suspecting that they're trying to hog Branch's time; Another reason why they detest Kismet and Snack Pack (and any other friends of Branch's still watch the show I don't know what other friends he has) is because they get into Branch's habits and destroy their entire systems by luring Branch into their activities outside of the brothers' secret hours, frustrating them.

Personal Space\Physical Limitations

Another thing that they do and this is more of a new mania or thing that John Dory and Floyd do, is ignore Branch's personal space and a lot, if they don't touch his shoulder, give him a side hug or a full hug or just keep a hand on Branch at all times, something that Branch has already complained about but they always ignore him and "make him see or come sense" about him. They don't touch him that often, the most embarrassing thing for Branch is when they hold his hand, this is something more about JD, Bruce and Floyd, He holds Branch's hand a lot, and this drives him crazy, but he still can't do much to stop it, he can't say no to Floyd for 2 reasons, 1. It makes faces that Branch can't ignore, and 2. He uses the feeling weak card (from his previous kidnapping and torture), although it doesn't affect him as much as it used to, he appeals to Branch's protective side; with Bruce is more because no matter how many times he lets go, Bruce always holds his hand again, Branch got used to the idea since it is a habit for his brother's many children so he doesn't try anymore, although he appreciates when Bruce lets go when he sees that Branch needs to use both hands for something; And then there's John Dory, Branch doesn't know what to do anymore, he can't say no, he can't let go and no matter what he does John Dory never lets go, he tried to force himself loose a couple of times in the first few times, only for JD to squeeze his hand tighter and give him a slightly creepy smile with honeyed words and, in Branch's opinion because it seems that no one notices more than him, chilling, it is not a phrase in itself that only speaks to him as if he were a baby, Again, and for some reason because of the tone John Dory uses, he feels small and a little scared, so I stop trying to let go of his hand after that.

There are also the boundaries or barriers that the brothers make whenever there is another troll around, if there is only one of the brothers he gets as attached as he can to Branch and gives him a side hug or stands between Branch and the others or another troll, if they are one or all four, They make a barrier unnoticed enough to avoid suspicion between Branch and the others, usually touching Branch but are tense touches and arm or man squeezes that make Branch feel confused.

[oneatlatime]

Lake Laogai

This Lake had better have Appa in it. With little water wings on.

Skipping the commentary as usual.

The Previously On section suggests that a whole lot of plot threads are about to crash into each other. Strap in folks.

Lefty Sokka!

Beat up Sokka quota fulfilled by his sister's critique of his art skills. It's not like he had paper to practice with at the South Pole.

Sometimes I forget that Aang is 12, then he does something like attempt to rescue his pet from a nefarious city-wide conspiracy of silence with lost cat posters.

"Good tea is its own reward." That means no, he isn't paid enough.

Remember what I said in my last post about Iroh bringing too much attention to himself?

"senior executive assistant manager" someone on the writing team has worked retail I see. Nothing like meaningless promotions with no raise attached! It's right up there with employee pizza party.

I have to pause here and point something out. This whole scene with Iroh? This is an adult fantasy. I don't mean dirty, I mean this whole scene was put in specifically to appeal to the adults who got roped in to watching this kids' show by their children. A rich man walks through the door of your shitty retail job, immediately spots your natural greatness, and offers you a much better paying job with unlimited creative freedom and a better house to go with it? Find me a burnt out retail worker who hasn't conjured up this fantasy five times a shift.

And so the plots come crashing back together. This won't end badly.

"patience really pays off" I checked. He waited literally three seconds.

Shout out to Toph in the background playing catch with a ball she can't see. Casual flex of epic proportions.

Remind me never to go to Lake Laogai. Sounds like it's lousy with Ju Dees.

So the Ju Dees don't know about each other? Because she seems honestly confused. Does Ju Dee think she's the only Ju Dee? What happens if two Ju Dees run into each other in the street?

Posters are illegal but I haven't heard a peep about recarving a bunch of fields into a zoo.

This is maybe the second time Aang's blown up over Appa. Frankly he deserves more blow ups about the whole situation.

I don't think knocking down walls will help find Appa, but I applaud Toph's spirit.

They took out a whole wall and then exit by the door anyways. That's funny.

I really hate this guy, but I have to admit that he may be the first truly competent villain of the series.

'The Jasmine Dragon' also lets anyone with half a brain know that you're Fire Nation. Try the Jasmine Badgermole instead.

Zuko really can't catch a break, huh? He wasn't happy being a tea server, but at least he was resting. But every time he gets five minutes to himself, the main plot reappears to drag him back into the action, whether he wants to or not. Although he hasn't figured out that he doesn't want to be dragged back yet.

Every line of dialogue in this scene is a good point. Zuko's right, Iroh's right. The Zuko's right again, then Iroh's right again.

YES YES YES GET HIS ASS

That was satisfying!

I'm not understanding why Sokka is the voice of reason here. Is he incapable of holding a grudge? He's the one that had all the animosity with Jet to begin with. Shouldn't it be Aang who wants to hear him out?

Toph is a living lie detector now? I can't think of an example off the top of my head, but I'm sure that could have come in handy previously. Any other incredibly useful skills we should know about?

Jet is oddly defensive for someone who claims to know he did wrong.

Ever get so excited that your spine malfunctions?

Sokka just has a metre long map in his pocket. Good friend to have in a pinch.

Avatar first! Katara is rude to an old person!

I'm going to have fun with Toph's new ability.

Toph, you have never been more right. It is the worst city ever. You are really shining this episode.

I know this is a serious scene, but I need to point out that Jet's guyliner is on point.

This shot is jarringly out of place. I think it's because it both black and white, and live action. Those have to be real clouds.

So the Blue Spirit can talk after all. Careful, your Zuko is showing.

Wow Zuko is good at sewing. And fast too.

Sokka is having far too much fun with this whole 'prompt Jet's memory' thing. Maybe he does have a bit of a grudge after all.

Katara can reverse brainwashing now too? Everyone's levelling up this episode.

This scene with the planks is a very cool and disorienting visual.

Didn't have 'the gaang breaks into a brainwashing facility' on my ATLA bingo card.

Pretty.

OMIGOD IT'S AP- did Zuko just break the fourth wall?

Everyone always forgets to look up.

So this fight is going to be Toph v. all of the Dai Li while everyone else tries not to get in Toph's way.

That's a boat.

Toph could probably take all these guys out faster if she wasn't having to constantly break off to save everyone else from them.

The Dai Li prancing up walls is a really cool visual. It's very Ty Lee of them.

I love watching her work.

Why don't you let Long Feng escape? He's no longer threatening you, and you're down there to rescue Appa. Just let him go.

The security on Lake Laogai is a joke.

Big words from someone who also had no plan whatsoever at the North Pole.

Zuko knows that Iroh's right. He knows, and that's important. I don't think Iroh is saying anything that Zuko hasn't thought and then hurriedly pretended to have never thought about before. It's why he says 'stop it' rather than being completely confused as to what Iroh is referring to.

Poor Appa's like 'can you have a crisis of self after you free me please?'

'You've chosen your own demise." No. You chose it for him. That's some top tier deflection/victim blaming right there.

Longshot can talk!

That's one hell of a set up and pay off re: Toph's lie detecting abilities.

Poor Jet. A double tragedy: to be likeable only when you're brainwashed, and to dedicate your life to wiping out the Fire Nation yet being killed by the Earth Kingdom.

Hi Appa. It's about time buddy.

Shockingly in character for Appa's first actions to be to single handedly save the Gaang from a threat.

You skip that bastard like a stone.

Everyone go and listen to the sound Appa makes when he spits out Long Feng's shoe. It's delightful.

I am framing this.

And this too.

I can tell there's some shmymbolism here, but it's gone right over my head.

Final Thoughts

Appa is back. The Gaang has Appa back. I have Appa back. Ok. I can relax now. With any luck, this means we can leave Ba Sing Se.

This episode felt like City of Walls and Secrets, Part 2. I think it was a good decision to have a couple of episodes between the two, but I think there would be some tonal whiplash if you binged this section of season 2. Which wouldn't have been a problem for a show designed to air once a week, so it's a moot point.

So Zuko freed Appa from his chains, and presumably pointed him in the direction of a door or something. Or maybe not; Appa has a ridiculously hard head, he could have busted his way out. Either way, Zuko broke the chains. Thanks Zuko!

In season 1, Zuko finds the Avatar the world had lost. In season 2, Zuko finds the Sky Bison the Avatar had lost. So in season 3, Zuko will find something Appa has lost. I wonder what that will be?

Jet being killed by the Earth Kingdom is so deliciously ironic, and tragic, yet very in character for the Earth Kingdom's approach to this war. It's also literally this:

Smellerbee and Longshot have really gotten the short end of the stick over and over this season. They were the only ones to decide to stick with Jet. Presumably they were the only ones who believed that he had had a legitimate change of heart. And they were kind of wrong. They get to Ba Sing Se only for Jet to immediately backslide way past even where he was at his worst in Season 1. He completely discounts and dismisses their legitimate concerns for his methods and his overall health. Then Jet gets arrested and disappears for two (?) weeks. So what do they do now? Get jobs? Steal so they don't starve? Then suddenly Jet's back but he doesn't even remember them. Then suddenly Jet's dead. The whole point of coming to Ba Sing Se just died, in a way that shows very clearly that their desire to help with the war is not welcome at all in the city. So what now? Do they leave and try to fight in the war from outside the walls? Do they settle down and try to forget about the war? Things did spiral completely out of Jet's control once the Dai Li got involved, but you have to admit that he's left his only remaining friends up a creek.

Sokka had some good jokes but was oddly ok with this episode's events. Toph had some great lines and got to shine with a new skill that any writer with half a brain will bring back in future episodes. She felt like the audience substitute this episode, which is usually Sokka's role. Toph was episode MVP for sure. Poor Aang took a bit of a back seat this episode. Zuko finally hit the crisis point, and may well have made his first indisputably correct decision of the series. But, as previous episodes have gone out of their way to show me that Zuko being good always goes badly for Zuko, I'm sure freeing Appa will somehow come back to bite him.

Iroh's question of "who are you? And what do you want?" was Zuko's entire character arc this season. He took a shot at answering the "who are you?" portion in Zuko Alone, and sort of halfway got there before messing up at the end of the episode. As for the "what do you want?" Zuko will tell you (often and repeatedly) that he wants his honour back. But I think he just wants to go home. The thing is, I strongly suspect that the home Zuko wants to return to hasn't existed since his mother left, if it ever existed at all. Which means that while "who are you?" has an answer Zuko can work towards, "what do you want?" has an answer that is kind of impossible. So Zuko is going to have to learn to want something new.

RIP Jet. Your life was fucked to Hell long before you were old enough to try and salvage it. You'll probably be missed by more people than you strictly deserve. War sucks, amirite?

[punkeropercyjackson]

Jason Todd takes dump by someone who's read every single issue he's ever been in and watched/played almost all his adaptions

He's afro-dominican,specifically monoracial and a third gen inmigrant on both Catherine and Willis' sides.He's strongfeatured and darkfeatured and his green eyes are a warmer/softer shade instead of the 'staring into your soul' meme

He's also jacked(fat + buff)and overly muscular Jason is unattractive while skinny pale Jason is unfitting

He's transmasc agender and partially identifies as a girl hence freely uses 'ftm' for himself and is a butch but in a goth punk way

He's also demisexual and bipan

Triple A(Austim,Adhd and Anxiety)with ptsd and also cluster b(bpd and npd)

The best love interest for him is/would've been a black Super who's Clark and Lois' adoptive kid and his childhood best friend that grew up to join The Outlaws due to their history

Og Rhato was an absolute disgrace to his character and he hates Roy fullstop and Roy should've hated him back instead of being a pussy.Kory deserves Dick and the Titan Girls forever and ever and the former dosen't even have to be romantic,she just has to be important to him and her own fufilled character too.JASON for that matter deserved to reunite with Eddie and him,Rose,Artemis,Kyle,Duke and Thad along with a bunch of other properly written characters should've been The Outlaws,including ones introduced in Rhato itself so it would an actual superhero team run

Duke should've been not only an official Robin that was adopted by Bruce a bit after Zero Year but JASON'S Robin with him being Duke's Robin too.Jason would literally rather die again than be part of 'The Batboys' without Duke and that's why it being so accepted in fanon pisses me off so much because it shows zero care for transracial adoption representation('transracial' meaning 'adopted child that's in a different race family')and how it's inherently more interesting and nuanced storytelling than every 'Bruce adopts every kid he meets' edition.Duke deserves his own special relathionships instead of having to share or settle when nobody else does or has to

He hates being sexually degraded and objectified and considers it as bad as his death being used against him because he sees it as another form of violation of his personhood.The reverse is also true so when it comes sex and even just romance,he's all about consent and if someone won't respect his they have zero chance or appeal to him

Normies do nothing for him.He's t4t,autistic4autistic and poc4poc strictly no exceptions and he dosen't actively seek out dating because he thinks platonic love and familial love are more important

The Tim beef is not only hilarious but top notch writing because for once the white boys don't give a fuck about eachother and perfer the girlies and the poc.90s Young Justice,the Robin 1993 gang and Tam is wayyyy better as a cast for Tim than Jason could ever be too

Jayrose and Jaytemis are very good ships because Rose and Artemis keep their personalities around Jason and they have belivable reasons to be attracted to eachother within dynamic and individual characters too.Jaykyle has excellent potential but people who make it horny should just admit they're racist and want Kyle to be Jason's pet moc and Jayeddie should've been what they tried to make Jayr*y as it actually works with Eddie and there's no overlap between him and Roy unless you're shallow and bad at writing

'Wonder Woman fan Jason' is rather tokenish and unathentic and also i just don't think he'd like Diana that much at any point at all tbh.His childhood superheroine idol is Starfire because it makes way more sense(and no,not because of the Dick,it's because Kory is exactly what he admires in women in general)

Alchoholic/smoker Jason are not just canon contradicted but not sexy.It's better to give him comical vices like ridicilously bad for you food and being a pro-gamer

'Robin!Jason is an altruistic,peppy optimistic softboy who's a huge nerd in both meanings of the word and lowkey loserish but also has the bite losing his parents and living as a street kid for years gave him and is a little shit' supremacy or nothing

He listens to My Chemical Romance,classic punk bands and rap the most

He's NOT like Dean Winchester,Deadpool or Danny Fenton and saying so is an insult to his character because he'd hate them if they met

He IS like Percy Jackson,Miles Morales and Ichigo Kurosaki and it needs to be said way more since it's actually accurate

Trans woman Jason is just Marceline Abadeer /pos

If he were a supernatural creature,he'd be a werewolf

Talia is the only acceptable adoptive mom for him and making jokes about ThatTM scene in Lost Days is no better than batcest but with the added layer of violent racialized misogyny.Momlia is also better if Jason's afrolatino because we need more brown/black family dynamics that're healthy and wholesome

'Shiva is Jason's biomom' is gross and offensive to Cass and y'all know damn well him thinking she could be his mom was the writers being racist weirdos,NOT Jason looking wasian.Cass and Jason being on good terms can be well-written but they would NEVER be eachother's favorites and Cass' story is a femalecentric one by design

Stephanie and him are meant to be found siblings and J*ysteph is gross because it's literally just a cishet crack ship version of Stephcass and 'tis exactly why Jason should be her brother for parallels instead of erasure.They're also just not compatible romantically or funny for the bit,it's misogynistic towards her and looks bad on him thanks dating his little brother's ex.Also make Stephanie black too you weirdos and i mean BLACK,not 'blonde blue eyes loose curly hair and badly drawn melanin'.Dead Robins Club is A+ and him and Damian already have good dynamic,no notes

Dick and him should be close since his Robin days with Dick also playing a pseudo-parental role as is the natural order for eldest siblings BUT Dick should written as themself,not an adultchild.Neither of them would ever care about Slade because they're not chronically online white gays who think being anti-kink is code for queerphobia

And him being a Jane Austen fan is him being pretentious but it's funny so it's fine

[wayfayrr]

JRKWJFMKSKDKWDMKW HI HONEY!! Idk if the rquests are still open but if theyre not, just please ignore this one!!!

But something I would LOVE to see, is one thought that I had based on what @bokettochild said. Aryll having a crush on one of the boys!!!

At first I thought immediatly about ofc the Captain bc he is pretty and all, butbutbut reminind of me as a 10yo, I would find him pretty yes, but I would ABSOLUTELY GO FERAL over Hyrule and/or Four bc they were just my type, so I thought we could share this, me and her hihihihihi

So here's what I thought like, (Y/N) and Aryll talking about her little crush like a girls night (but the Reader dont really have to be a girl, is just for funsies!!) and Wind being all >:( maybe even a bit jealous that Aryll get to spend time alone with you hihihihihi

Just one thing!! If you end up wanting to do this idea, you can do it as a headcanons or a lil fic, whatever is better for you!!

I hope you have an amazing day darling!! You are amazing and I love everything you do hihihihihihi buh bay!!! 💚💚💚💚💚💚

I thought to do this as some little headcanons!! just to get myself back into the vibe of writing headcanons since it's been a little while <3

you're right though, she'd be the best to gossip with and have tea parties together - she's just a good little sister after all!!!

✦ gossiping with Aryll whenever you’re in winds time? She’s living for it, be it braiding her hair or showing her things you’ve been collecting over your journey. You pick her up some shells from wild’s time? Yeah you’re her parent now, that’s just how it works. 

✦ so for her to see you as a perfect role model (much to her brother's envy) it’s only natural that she’d see your partner in a similar light, after all if she wants to be like you then whoever you go for is who she’d go for right? just a harmless puppy crush on them <3

✦ so expect plenty of moments where she's pulling you aside to ask for advice about relationships, and if you ever try to go on a date then it's not a rare thing to spot her in the distance watching the both of you.

✦ while she tries to keep it more subtle at the start out of embarrassment for crushing on the guy you're dating, asking little none specific questions. but eventually it grows to outright asking how the two of you got together and such.

✦ dating four? She asks how you handle how he’s usually at the forge and what if you like sitting there with him, 

✦ Time? She’s asking what it’s like to be dating the hero of time (she’s grown up hearing legends of him, of course she’s going to be all over the chance to learn about him)

✦ Warriors - The pretty boy, the one who looks like the prince charming in all her books. No way is she NOT going to fawn over his handsome face.

✦ then hyrule? How could anyone not be in love with the fairy boy, when he’s able to make himself sickly sweet and appealing - it’s not like there’s any other reason he was so good at getting information from people. Not that he’d want to manipulate you of course, he just can’t help his natural charm. 

✦ if you're with legend then she's a little curious how you fell with his hard outer personality. Not that she thinks like that for long with the things that you can tell her about him. 

✦ And you’re right, wind is a fair bit jealous that his older sibling is having their focus away from him so often. Don’t get me wrong he’s so glad that the two of you are getting along but it wouldn’t be hard to include him more right? He looks at you like a kicked puppy until you let him join. He WILL gossip.

[amerricanartwork]

I saw your lilypad art post, and I got curious: why do you enjoy lilypad? it's not a common RW ship, so I'd be interesting to hear what about it you enjoy!

Hear me out, guys... I must explain myself before I get onto the Lilypad essay.

I made that original comment because, at the time, I wanted to just get the aforementioned headcanons out as soon as possible. Understand, my reluctance wasn't because I didn't want to talk about Lilypad, but rather the exact opposite: I had so many feelings about it, yet had put so little effort into expressing them in a coherent, presentable format that I just knew it'd distract me for the next week or two if I let it rent too much space in my conscious thoughts. But now that little comment has left me with several people asking me to share those thoughts, and, both thankfully and unfortunately, I simply can't resist indulging in thoughts about the characters I love—!

Keep in mind, I haven’t finished Saint campaign yet, and even then I’ve found like less than half the broadcasts in Spearmaster campaign yet, so there’s likely some extra canon info I may be missing that could add to or change some of what I say here. I also apologize if some of what I write here seems really out-of-character. I try not to let my passion for my little headcanons and scenarios make me disregard the canon, but even so, I might slip and think up some weird things occasionally. Nonetheless, I feel like I’ve got enough of the picture to start confidently enjoying this ship, so I’ll talk about it anyway! 

As always, feel free to add to these ideas if you can! Without further delay, enjoy this 3381-word essay, with a few initial headcanons sprinkled in, on why I adore Lilypad!

Oh, and just in case, if you couldn’t already tell, major Hunter campaign spoilers below.

Quetzalli on Loving Lilypad

I’m gonna start this out with a preface: I can generally find the appeal in a lot of different ships and the art other fans make for them, but for me to ship something enough to actively draw it and make my own headcanons about it and such (outside of, perhaps, gifts for other people), it usually has to contain a variety of “ship tropes” that I personally fancy. Many of my most-favorite ship tropes tend to be the ones that aren’t just cute, but that carry narrative significance and seem poetic in some way, usually because they can facilitate character arcs in the involved characters. The more of these a ship has, or the more ship tropes I can portray it with without it seeming too out-of-character, and the more I like those specific tropes, the better. This principle is a major reason why I’ve gravitated towards Artimand as my main slugcat ship, but for now, I’m going to focus on which of these I see in Lilypad — in canon content, other fan-portrayals, and my personal headcanons — that, as opposed to other iterator ships, has currently won me over.

I’m gonna describe the main general things I like seeing in this ship. Some of them are more due to fandom portrayals than what’s in the canon, but they all play a big role in my current love for Lilypad. 

Synergy

I’ll begin with how I really appreciate just how much synergy Looks to the Moon and No Significant Harassment are shown to have, at least in fan content! I always like seeing pairings where the characters aren’t just romantic, but also work really well together as a team or even just as friends. After all, just because the characters may be romantically in love doesn’t mean they must only show it in explicitly romantic ways. To me, Lilypad strikes me as a relationship where Sig and Moon would make an amazing team in many aspects of their lives, whether it's collaborating on projects, sharing their interests, or trying to maintain order in the rest of their group. And their compliment is just really sweet to me, though I’ll get to that later.

A Shoulder to Lean On/The Lady

One of my favorite ship tropes is “character with a lot of weight on their shoulder who finally gets to lift it off and be ‘normal’ for once when around the other”. I’ve always found it sweet when characters like this, especially ones who are normally very selfless, finally get a chance to indulge and enjoy themselves for once! And once again, this is another thing I imagine in Artimand too, and you could project this onto Trafficlights given Suns’s implied high status, but I think it works especially with Lilypad, given Moon’s role as group senior means she objectively has a lot to manage all the time with no permanent escape from it. Even beyond the whole Five Pebbles rot drama, Moon probably had a lot on her plate just in terms of maintaining order between the rest of the group and setting a good example to the younger generations, especially as the group expanded over time, not to mention trying to find the solution herself. Combine this with how I picture her to be the kind of person who cares a lot about her image as a “proper” and  “dignified” leader, and someone who often sacrifices her own desires to promote the group’s welfare, I just find it really soft for her to have someone to lean on, metaphorically (and in a worm-off-the-string scenario, literally), and who better to go to than her best teammate, who knows the power of a good laugh and will stop at nothing to have fun with those he loves? Not to mention, since I headcanon Sig as slightly younger than Moon (2nd gen, specifically), I just find it rather cute in an ironic sense that the older, more serious Moon is soft around the younger, far more chaotic Sig, especially as Moon would go through the realization that she actually kinda likes this little troublemaker! 

This also comes back to something I mentioned in the tags of that beepsnort post, which is that one of my other favorite ship tropes is “guy who loves/is good at making people laugh x girl who has a REALLY weird/embarrassing laugh”, and that just works so well with Lilypad! It’s admittedly a very headcanon-based thing for me, but given how I’ve already explained my perception of Moon as very proper and serious, I imagine one of the best ways Sig takes the weight off her shoulders is by being the only person who can consistently make her laugh so hard! And with the beepsnort headcanon it’s even cuter, because of course Moon would be super embarrassed every time she even so much as gives a half-chuckle at one of his jokes, because Sig is relentless when it comes to getting the giggles out of her, and he won’t stop until she’s rolling and shaking on the floor of her chamber, her beepy-snorts filling the room! My GODDD I love this trope so much, and for beings who are inherently such workaholics, I think getting to genuinely relax and have fun for a bit, once she gets over the initial shock and embarrassment, would be something Moon would really come to value.

Inverses Attract/The Tramp

I’ve mentioned it in my last Artimand headcanons post, but one of my absolute all-time favorite ship tropes is the classic “opposites attract”, although I prefer the name “inverses attract”. As I like to portray it, the trope not only involves characters who are opposites personality-wise, but those being opposites of the same core aspect, and ultimately helping balance each other out by offering the other half of the equation to each other (hence the name “inverses”). The trope I just wrote about above is how Sig helps Moon to relax and have fun, but as I try to do with all ships, how does it work the other way too? Well, I really like to imagine Sig learning to be more openly serious and dedicated! Don’t get me wrong, Sig is a hard worker (it’s pretty much the nature of all iterators), but given he seems to pretty strongly reject the quest for the Triple Affirmative, I imagine the next problem would be in him finding a new purpose to strive for. And what better new purpose than in standing by and protecting the group senior he thinks he just might wanna be more than friends with?

It already works because Moon, of course, would work to keep Sig in check and make sure he doesn’t go too overboard with his shenanigans. But just imagine how inspired he’d grow over time seeing Moon work so hard to keep the group together and keep them striving for their purpose, even if he doesn’t agree with it. I imagine it’s why Sig’s methods are still rather controlled rather than purely chaotic, and there’s a reason to his rebellion. Thanks to Moon, rather than slaving away at a seemingly impossible solution until his mind collapses with his structure, he’ll use his talents to, at the very least, keep the local group together as long as possible, because even if they’ll all be gone one day, that doesn’t mean they have to go alone!

It’s why I’m also labeling these two tropes together as “the Lady and the Tramp”, yet another ship dynamic that gets me every time! It’s a specific instance of “inverses attract” where the noble, proper lady finds a taste of freedom and courage from the dangerously charming tramp, who from her finds a new sense of purpose and honor! And in my opinion, Lilypad is most definitely the best opportunity for this dynamic among Rain World ships!

The Fated Couple

Slow-burn couples seem to be pretty popular in many fandoms, but what about a really slow-burn? There’s something just so romantic to me about the idea that Moon and Sig, from the moment they met, have always just clicked so perfectly, and have been by each other’s side so constantly ever since, to the point it seems practically inevitable to everyone (except them of course) that they’ll eventually get together romantically. Of course, there are two main roadblocks to their romance being 1.) their whole objective and purpose for being created is kind-of fundamentally opposed to strong attachments like love (I mean, if Karma 3 is Companionship, wouldn’t romantic love be considered the worst example of that?), and 2.) even if they did reject this purpose, being massive immovable structures with the only humanoid part stuck deep inside a box, a budding romance seemingly couldn’t really go anywhere anyway. In fact, because of these roadblocks much of my Lilypad imaginings take place in the ever-popular “worm-off-the-string” scenario, especially since the next couple of reasons for why I like the ship play a lot into the themes I like to incorporate in this story concept. 

However, these issues towards such a romance are also what make it so sweet in the end! Just think of Moon, alone in her chamber, beginning to worry about how she’s actually kinda sorta, maybe, hypothetically, possibly, just a little bit starting to like the carefree and charismatic Gen 2 in the local group as even more than just a work partner and a dear friend, but oh no, that’s indulging in a Karmic Sin, and as group senior she can’t just throw away their purpose like that and set such a bad example to the rest! What’s she gonna do?? And then on the other side, Sig puzzling in his chamber, pining so hard for the group senior yet seemingly unable to confess, because, even disregarding Karma 3 and the fact that giant immobile calculators aren’t about to be snuggling any time soon, why would someone as perfect and powerful as her want someone like him, so dismissive of their core purpose and unorthodox in his methods? Is there even a point in having these feelings at all, when they might very well end up simply fading to dust along with the rest of his structure?

Maybe, they both think, it’d be better to just keep these feelings to themselves and quietly love from a distance. That is, until…

Moon’s Collapse and the Slag Reset Keys

The fourth reason is, of course, the most steeped in canon. It goes back a bit to the “shoulder to lean on” concept, but even aside from that, there is something just so romantic about this on both sides.

Firstly, from Moon’s perspective. There’s no doubt that the collapse must have been very traumatic for Looks to the Moon physically, but I like to think about just how much it’d affect her emotionally, too. I mean, being so painfully destroyed by your own brother, with seemingly nothing that can be done to stop it and no one to help you? And then consider how lonely it must have been in her final moments. The only comfort she does get is from Spearmaster’s visit, and even then she sends him off to go deliver her final words, which has still got to be really depressing. And finally, think about how betrayed she must have felt, trying so hard throughout her operation to help her citizens and the local group and be kind to everyone, only to have it be repaid like this, forced to collapse in on herself, being buried under her own body, unfathomable pain all around, and with not a soul to help her.

So then, think about just how shocking and heartwarming (literally, if you think about it) it must be when that lovable Gen 2, always so playful and carefree normally, is the one to give her a second chance and being her back when all hope seems lost, and using such a unique delivery method no less! I mean COME ON, Sig literally brought her back to life, how could one NOT fall in love with someone who did that for them? It links back to the “shoulder to lean on” idea, in that, for once, someone finally looked out for Moon and gave back to her for all the kindness she gave to the world. Think about this as the moment she truly realizes she’s in love with No Significant Harassment, and how tragic it’d be knowing now, it’s too late to say it. But, even so, if he’s willing to go this far to make sure she’s okay, then maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance her love at least wasn’t alone.

Now, my thoughts about this from No Significant Harassment’s side (which also kinda turned into a mini NSH appreciation paragraph that links back to the earlier Inverses Attract and Lady and the Tramp segment), I think it’s very poetic to see him going out of his way to take his messenger concept, originally used for no more than a trivial prank and at most a very experimental and unfinished alternative communication method, and turning it into a noble last-ditch effort to rescue the one he loves. It doesn’t just clearly show how much he cares for Moon that he worked to save her when no one else did (and if that’s because the odds of being able to do anything seemed very low to the rest of them, that makes it even more sweet) I think it shows off a lot of Sig’s character beyond just being a jokester. Like, I’d seen this kind of personality for Sig in the fandom content before, but this action and the other broadcasts are what first made me truly realize not just that it is based in canon, but that, more importantly he’s not just stupid or unfocused, he’s rebellious. He doesn’t joke around because he just doesn’t care, it’s because he’s independent, he’s got other places he wants to go and plans that don’t fit into what most of his peers are used to. He makes light of the world because he sees what others don’t, and it’s honestly pretty frickin’ funny how blind others can be most of the time (case-in-point: him making a slugcat from a messenger, which no one else thought to do because those creatures seemed too “dull” and “primitive” to ever be capable of such a thing). So think about how significant it must be when he’s openly taking something seriously. This is where that dynamic of the Tramp, and how Sig would benefit from this relationship is really highlighted. I just adore it when the easygoing, carefree character finally finds purpose in their lover, and springs into serious action like they never were before! And it makes sense too given what I said about them not getting together before: seeing Moon collapse would show him directly that even beings as durable as iterators don’t last forever, so if he’s got these feelings for Moon, he’s got to make a move while there’s still a chance! And what better way to show his love than to bring her back when all hope seems lost? Which brings me to the final aspects I’ll talk about here, first of which is…

True Love’s Kiss

Yes, you read that right. The real reason I love the slag reset keys as a plot element so much is not just because it shows Sig’s secret strength of character, not just because it finally gives reward to Moon’s kindness, but because it is a real fairytale come true! 

I know this sounds crazy and probably totally unrelated to Rain World, but think about it! You guys have probably seen Snow White and Sleeping Beauty before, or at least one of the two? Isn’t the whole trope that the beautiful princess, fairest maiden in the land, gets cursed through some means or another to die (or in Aurora’s case, fall into an indefinite sleep), which is only undone when the strong and brave prince, riding upon his noble steed, awakens the princess by giving her true love’s kiss? I already love both those movies on their own for various other reasons, but after my description, is this starting to sound familiar in another way?

I mean, with everything I’ve said about Moon in this post so far, there’s no doubt you could perceive her as the “fair princess”, who through unfortunate circumstances is put to a premature and indefinite death. And there’s no doubt Sig fills the role of the brave prince by working to save her with the slag reset keys, which in this metaphor are undoubtedly the “true love’s kiss” that ultimately conquers all, always longed for, and finally delivered! And hey, given Hunter is the one to carry the keys to Moon, a small yet courageous beast who stops at nothing to meet his goals, Sig even has his own “noble steed”! And even if Hunter is technically the one to actually deliver the green neuron, and the death the “princess” succumbs to wasn’t out of genuine malice towards her, I think the sentiment is still there and the parallel is close enough! 

But yes, as strange as it may sound, the fairytale parallel is the main reason Lilypad resonates with me so much! Those classic fairytale-esque romance tropes and that poetic storytelling found in Disney’s first feature-length animated films has always been dear to my heart, and is even more so now that I’m older and can truly appreciate the beauty of them. So now, even in my fandom experiences, ships that win my appreciation over all others are often those that manage to embody those classic romance tropes and themes as best as possible, and frankly, even Artimand loses ever-so-slightly to Lilypad in this regard! Or, as I also enjoy calling them, “Lifeline”, for reasons that are probably obvious now. 

And it’s even better when you consider…

Some Things Never Change

Another trope I’ve recently begun to love is the idea that some phenomena in the world never truly disappear, but simply manifest in different ways, sometimes unexpected ones. And given the whole Triple Affirmative quest and the Ancients’ mass ascension philosophy, this idea is something I especially love seeing in Rain World content. Even the canon events show this idea, but think about how wonderfully it would work with Lilypad beyond just the slag reset keys, especially taking up that “worm off the string” iterator AU concept some have explored in this fandom already.

Just think about how sweet it would be when Moon and Sig, operating primarily through their puppets now, get to finally hug and kiss and be with each other so directly now! Think of the way Sig would speak to Moon about how, even after her collapse, she's still somehow beautiful as ever, and Moon returning with how even all the trouble the group has faced hasn't put a dent in his charm! And it's even sweeter when you consider it’s against everything their creators stood for! Think of Moon, after everything she’s been through and how much she’s probably changed at this point, now willing to give some of these “worldly attachments” a chance, because you can never truly get rid of them, but she knows better than anyone that you won’t be around to experience them forever, so why not enjoy it while you’ve got the chance? And it’d make sense too, not just for her own benefit, but for Pebbles and the rest of the group’s sake too! She’s always strove to set a good example for them, and since their original quest has left them with nothing but pain and trauma, why not show them that maybe all these attachments aren’t so bad after all?

I just think it’d be really interesting to see Moon joining Sig in that rejection of the Triple Affirmative, and what better way to do that than by finally embracing that love they’ve felt for each other for so long? Because love never truly dies, it just appears in new people. And maybe they don’t have to spend their whole lives as grand iterators, the vast infinitely-advanced mechanical deities who embody perfection in almost every way. Maybe, even just for a bit, they can just be people, falling in love just as their creators did all over again!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

And with that, I think I’m FINALLY done here. HOLY COW, this is easily my longest post yet, and I hope it doesn’t disappoint! Part of the reason it took so long was because I was trying to find the perfect way to express all these ideas without it just spilling out onto the page in some weird half-coherent mess. But eventually I just said “ah screw it, let’s just ramble about this ship and see where it goes!” and my god, did it go far! And I still managed to somewhat organize it, so yay!

But aside from that, thank you SO MUCH to everyone who asked for my thoughts on Lilypad, and everyone who made it to the bottom of this essay! I’ve never really gotten a chance to openly ramble about one of my favorite ships to the rest of the fandom like this, so seeing that some fans, even if it’s ultimately not a huge amount, actually wanted me to do it was such a welcome surprise!

I hope you all enjoyed the drawings and the art! I’ll be around in case someone wants me to write another ship essay or something! And who knows, it’s likely I’ll find more reasons I like Lilypad as time goes on and I see more fan-content and find the rest of those broadcasts! But at least this was a starting point! 

Expect more LIlypad content to come in the future, but until now, thanks again for the opportunity!

[prince-liest]

Yo, I'm writing a pre canon fic in which young fanboy Vox gets assigned as Alastor's assistant by Lilith, any tips for characterising him?

I think you have a lot of room for leeway and playing around since you're working with pre-canon, but the main points that I tend to at least personally keep around as a scaffold for writing Vox are:

He's got a Charisma modifier of, like, +4. This doesn't mean he's always suave - in fact, he's pretty pathetic around Alastor in particular! But he knows how to put on a performance that appeals to his intended audience, whether that be a customer base whose trust he's winning over, or a fellow Vee that he's trying to wrangle into behaving. He switches between ridiculous showmanship and collected CEO, and this works for him despite both personas being rife with overcompensation.

Every single one of the Vees including Vox thinks they're the only normal, reasonably-behaving person in the room, it's wild.

He's smart, he's capable, he's manipulative. He's good at knowing what people want and how to leverage that to sell them those things. The general population thinks he's #goals thanks to the image he puts forth.

He's a piece of shit that has no qualms with Valentino's behavior with Angel Dust, Velvette selling date rape drugs, or abusing his own hypnosis ability to manipulate people into buying his products (which include spyware literally advertised to voyeurs). This is part of the fun of this character!!

I think he has a lot of very fun physicality to him (as do most of the Hazbin Hotel characters), and I really recommend re-watching some of his scenes to get the hang of how he moves and interacts with people physically because you'd be surprised at how much that can add to characterization even in a non-visual format like writing.

...I also genuinely think he's kind of a horny bastard, to whatever extent and rating your story could even use that, but that's me extrapolating from his behavior around both Alastor and Valentino. It's just a fun cherry on top of the "low impulse control around Alastor" thing, because he's got so much going for him on the intelligence front that it's really funny to me when he tangibly switches to thinking with his dick.

And, of course, on the subject of Alastor in particular:

He's obsessive, and Alastor makes all of his impulse control go out the window. I started using the "Vox's One-sided Psychosexual Obsession with Alastor (Hazbin Hotel)" tag for a reason, and it's that I think it's in fact really funny how much evidence we get in canon that Vox doesn't just hate Alastor and want to dominate him, he'd also probably roll right over into the affectionately wheedling persona he uses with Valentino if Alastor suggested he'd take it well.

We don't just see Vox wanting Alastor dead, we also see Alastor telling us that Vox first asked him to join him; the torn-in-half photo of them standing together; and Vox pretty much popping a boner over Alastor getting wrecked by Adam, nevermind how manically he jumps around to get a word in before Alastor even shows his face during Stayed Gone. Even his little "Fu-uu-uuuuuck!" at the end of the song is like 50% actual despair and 50% :pleading: emoji. He wants Alastor, obviously, and I think a lot of the anger that he's projecting at Alastor in canon is specifically anger at being rejected, which is frantically covering up the fact that he is still desperately, embarrassingly into the radio deer. If Alastor won't join him, Vox has to beat him.

Anyway, I love this funky little TV. This was by no means a comprehensive guide or anything like that, but I hope it helped share at least some of my personal thoughts on writing him!

[yesimwriting]

Sick Day

Set in the Final Girl universe, but it is a stand alone fic that can easily be read with no context :)

Summary: Billy and Stu don’t get why they’re so antsy about the latest addition to their friend group being absent from school. Sure, they talk about her more than they talk about anyone else, but not seeing her for one day isn’t enough to justify panic, right? Guess that doesn’t matter, because they find a way to justify checking in anyways.

a/n if you haven’t read final girl and this makes you curious,, the main fic and extras can be found here: Final Girl Series 

fun fact, this is chronologically set at some point after ‘first impressions’ but before the main series, if you haven’t read either that’s fine, it’ll still make sense, i just like building “lore” lol 

also if there are any typos i’m sorry, i’m stuck wearing a wrist brace for a little while, especially while writing

also this was really fun to write so i might do some more mini fics in the final girl universe in between full chapters, it’s more low stakes and is a good way for me to work on adding to their dynamics,, so if you have any ideas/requests for final girl universe specific stuff pls feel free to ask! 

----

It didn’t take Billy long to realize that part of your appeal comes from the fact that you’re not as predictable as everyone else. Maybe it’s because you’re still new, but that’s easy in Woodsboro, where lifelong friendships are practically assigned by the locker you’re given on your first d of middle school.

You’re also a contradiction. Almost everything you’re feeling is visible on your face, but what you’re thinking isn’t as easy to guess. It balances you out, keeping you from being unknown enough to be threatening but still letting you pop enough to keep you from blurring into the background. 

That’s part of the reason he picked up on your routine so quickly. What he knows about you isn’t as concrete as what he has on the people that are a part of his plan, but he knows enough. More than he intended to. He memorized your classes without meaning to and knows the time you get to school and the approximate time you leave. It’s useful, he tells himself, you’re around Sidney and Tatum all the time and him and Stu are still working on fitting you into the plan.

Sure, they’ve decided that you fit as their potential final girl, but it’s rocky. You bring out something panicky in him and some days it’s too much to be around you and know you have the ability to affect him. It’s not the same, not at all, but Billy can’t help the way it reminds him of what his mom’s distance used to make him feel. At risk. And Billy knows Stu, knows that he probably thinks about you twice as much as he brings you up and that there’s such a thing as Stu liking someone too much. 

When there’s uncertainty, it’s easy to fall back on routine, and you stick to a relatively simple one. You get to school riding close to late more often than not, during your study hall you tend to study outside unless Randy doesn’t use it as an excuse to leave early, then you bother him in the library (something Billy doesn’t get), and you take a little longer at your locker at the end of the day. Billy also knows you’re not one to skip. 

You’re never not at school (which may or may not have lead to an increase in the regularity of Stu and Billy’s attendance). You’re too hyper focused on your grades to not show up without a reason. So when Billy passes by your locker right before the home room bell rings and you’re not there it’s weird.

Billy knows you really must not be here when his eyes land on Stu, who’s staring at your locker. Stu walks you to most of your classes and always walks you to homeroom. 

“She’s not here,” Billy summarizes flatly. 

Stu turns his head, a little unsure. “Or she went to class without me.” 

The jab would be subtle to anyone else, but Billy knows what Stu’s getting at. “She’d still be at her locker, she’s always running late in the morning.” Billy focuses on hearing his words, tries to feel them. “We can check her homeroom.” 

A casual enough suggestion. Still not overly concerned. Stu has to walk past your classroom to get to his anyways and Billy takes that route sometimes. With that justification, the two walk down the hall and peak through the door’s long window as un-notably as possible. You’re not in your usual spot, at the desk right behind Casey Becker, who you talk to from time to time (a potential future problem they’re both aware of).

By lunch, it’s confirmed that you never showed up. You’re not in the first period you have with Stu or the third period you have with Sidney and Billy. Tatum brings it up first. Where’s Y/n? Sidney shrugged and mumbled about how you weren’t in second period today. It only took a minute for the girls and Randy to brush over your absence with a simple she must be sick. 

That got under Billy’s skin a little and he couldn’t figure out why. You’re almost weirdly into the whole school thing--everyone here could likely list your top 3 colleges--and stubborn. Even if you’re only absent because you’re sick, you must be pretty knocked out to not be here. But why should he care about you being really sick or your friends being relatively dismissive? 

“Isn’t she a little...Annie Wilkes about school?” Stu’s question comes out casually enough.

Randy looks up, “She’s not that bad.”

Stu blinks, forcing himself to stay in the moment. Randy was quick to defend you even though Stu’s seen him call you worse to your face. Maybe that back and forth is a sad attempt at flirting. “Easy, no one’s saying anything bad about your girlfriend.” 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” 

“Knock it off, Stu, they’re basically related,” Billy forces the words out as casually as he can manage.

Sidney picks up on the joke, mumbling some comment about how they do sort of act like siblings, which gets Tatum off on some tangent about her brother. The conversation doesn’t circle back to the person that’s missing.

In the english class you share with Billy and Stu, the teacher hands back an old essay and gives out a homework packet. The two of them exchange a look. That’s a good enough excuse to stop by your house...if they...wanted to, which they don’t because it’s not like your absence is that relevant.

Billy talks to the teacher after class anyways, saying that he could make sure you get the graded essay and homework. You’re friendly enough that he’s sure he’ll be able to get it to you before you come to class and it’s never a bad idea to have options. Stu doesn’t say anything when Billy gets the papers and neatly places them in a folder. 

----

There’s all this energy and there’s no real outlet for it. Stu doesn’t know what it is, he can’t tell what he wants to do with it or what’d make it feel better. He’s felt versions of it all day, having it drop and morph into an off-brand version of that dark, craving feeling he gets at the thought of feeling a knife plunge into someone and rise back up to an antsy-ness that’d better fit a kid in line for a ride at a theme park.

The energy reaches its peak on the front steps of your porch, but the feeling doesn’t settle on a particular charge. It remains focused on the more positive side of the spectrum, but it’s undercut by some of the urgency of the other urge. 

He had been the first one to bring it up after school, when Billy and him were finally alone. It had started relatively detached, things are still weird when they mention you outside of certain contexts. They’re so used to being open about other things that the fact that they’re both almost shy about something--someone--is twisting. It’s a feeling they’re still learning to take in larger doses. 

They had spent a little too long trying to find an angle to justify a pop in to themselves. It’s one thing to think about you, to talk about you, to like you even. But it’s something else entirely to openly care. To worry about why you’re missing school or if you’re sick. 

Eventually, want won and Billy finally said something that stuck. She can’t be a final girl if she’s dying, and we need her to trust us, to like us. 

This is stupid. A flaring feeling in Billy’s chest has been yelling at him to stop since the idea first formed his mind. It’s a distorted echo of his father’s voice. 

Billy swallows once, forcing himself to finally knock. The only thing more pathetic than what he’s doing is lingering, coming here and then turning back. 

The seconds pass and with each of them, they both feel worse about their decision. And then they hear the lock click and the front door opens and they see you. 

You look more tired than usual and the blanket that’s practically swallowing you whole makes you seem smaller, more vulnerable even though you’re more covered than usual. You squint at the sunlight in a way that makes them think you’ve spent the day in intentionally dimly lit spaces. It takes you a second, but once you finally register them, it’s visible. You’re grinning, practically beaming. 

Billy feels the reaction in his chest. It strains uneasily beneath his ribs, not much unlike what he imagines a heart palpitation could feel like. He briefly thinks he might be able to hold the discomfort against you, but even that thought mostly fades. 

Stu’s flooded with the strange desire to wrap you up in bundles of blankets the way that his mom used to when he was younger. The few times it happened, it was weirdly comforting. He can’t remember the last time she took the time to make sure he was warm until his fever broke, but he knows his dad put a stop to it at an early age. Too needy, too dependent.

“Hi?” It’s partially a question, and your voice hints at raspiness. 

Snapping back into reality, Billy answers, “You weren’t at school.” Your eyebrows draw together and Billy realizes that that wasn’t the easy reaction he thought it’d be. It’s too open and implies concern. 

“Yeah, I kinda have a cold-fever-something. It’s a bug my mom brought home from work. I thought she was being dramatic, but it totally knocked me out.” You lean against your front door. If you sense either of their conflicts, you give no indication of it. “Karma, I guess.” 

Stu lets out a laugh at that. “Karma? You were that mean?” 

Your lips pull into an almost-smile. “The universe seemed to think so.” 

“You think the universe gave you a punishment cold, but your mom’s the dramatic one?” Stu’s biting down a grin, all concerns about showing up melting. 

You glare halfheartedly, “You can’t be not-on-my-side when I’m sick. That’s like...against friend...rules.” Your eyebrows draw together. “That was--that was really lame, forget I said that.” 

The reaction is so warm and you’re doing your best even though you’re clearly still not feeling well and Billy feels an awful swell of what’s likely fondness. “Not sure I want to.” 

Rolling your eyes, you relax even more of your weight against the doorframe. The shift is small, but Billy can’t help but note it. Are you just being casual or are you that tired? “You’re both here to cause problems.” 

“We’re here to be nice.” The look on your face says you might be a little out of it but you haven’t lost IQ points. “We got our essays back and some homework. Billy picked up yours and I drove him to school, and because one day felt way too long to go without seeing you...”

Your laugh is punctuated by a brief cough you burry into your elbow. It’s not like you’re coughing up a lung, but it is a little concerning. “You guys grabbed my stuff?” 

The genuine surprise in your voice sticks out. “Yeah,” Billy slides his backpack off of his shoulders and starts unzipping it, “One of those friend rules.” 

Billy finds his folder as you roll your eyes. “Funny.” 

“It’s what I’m known for,” he keeps his voice flat, and the sarcasm feels a little off, but you smile and that makes it a little easier.

He hands you the papers, his fingertips brushing against yours. “I see why.” 

“I never get that many gold stars.” Stu leans forward, re-reading some of the notes scribbled on next to your grade. “Maybe you should invite me over, tutor me...”

Your nose wrinkles. “Shut up.” By now they’ve learned that that’s the closest you’ll come to retreating.

Stu exaggerates a frown, “What? Bringing you your stuff doesn’t get us invited in?” 

The redirect is a bit of a stretch, but you’re used to the jumps and you’re tired enough to not read much into it. Not as much as Billy does, who’s a little surprised because he and Stu never talked about what they’d do after. He decides that it’s harmless enough. 

Turning your head a little, it almost feels like a part of you forgot there was anything to be invited into. “I don’t want to get you guys sick.” 

It’s such a you response. Always considerate, polite. Billy looks past you and into the house. There’s no noise indicating that anyone’s in there, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re alone. Though the one time he came over to work on a project, he briefly met your mother and was given the impression that she likes making her presence alone. There’s also your mother’s boyfriend, who wasn’t around when Billy came over but based on your comments, he’s not sure being alone with him isn’t worse than being alone. 

“Are you okay?” The question comes out of Billy a little unexpectedly. “You don’t look too...” 

You glare. “Thanks.”

“Not like--” Billy cuts himself off with a sigh. Your eyebrows pinch together briefly. “You look too sick to be alone. At least say your mom’s here.” 

Billy takes in the details of your reaction even though he already has a good idea on what you lying looks like. Harmless, white lies often used to seem more okay with things than you actually are. He sees something similar in the way your chin tilts upwards slightly. “I’m fine.” 

That’s all the confirmation Billy needs. You’re definitely alone. The lack of lie and attempt at dismissal is oddly endearing, especially while you’re like this, leaning against the front door and squeezing your blanket a little tighter. Wait--are you colder? It’s warm out today and there’s not even a breeze. 

A half thought embeds itself beneath Billy’s skin. He gives in, extending an arm slowly. You’re just as confused until Billy’s turning his hand so that the back of his palm is facing you. “I’m--Billy, it’s--” 

The cutoff of your words is sudden, your lips still partially parted, some other jumble of words dying in the back of your throat as Billy’s hand meets your forehead. You don’t move away. It’s been a few seconds, definitely long enough for Billy to have deduced whether or not you have a fever. How did his mom use to do this? 

He takes his time dropping his arm back to his side. Billy doesn’t have too many references to what a fever feels like on someone else, but you did feel warm. “You have a fever.” 

You press your lips together briefly in a forced pout. “You’re worse than my mom.” The blanket is slipping off of your shoulders, you tug it back up. “I’ll take some Tylenol, find a jar of vapor rub.” Angling your head to glance behind you again, you’re returning to that awkward uncertainty. 

The small dismissal digs at them both. It’s bad enough that they let themselves get to this point over one absence and here you are, alone and unwell and completely okay with sending them away. “You sure you’re good here?” 

This time you’re considering it. The proof of the deliberation is there in your silence. More often than not it takes you two or three offers to accept anything you think is an inconvenience. You’re nice to a point of fault. “I’m okay, because no one dies of fever, but if hanging out for a little and seeing absolutely nothing happen to me makes you guys feel better, that’d be cool. But you need to be careful.”

Stu grins, “I thought no one dies of a fever.” 

You take a step back, offering some space for them to pass, “I hope you get this, I think you could use a karma cold.” 

“Now I see why you have one,” Stu mumbles, pretending to be more annoyed than he feels as he steps into your house as you turn your head to stick your tongue out at him. 

Billy follows, lingering in your doorway before shutting your front door. You’re approaching the kitchen, turning your head to look Billy in the eye, “What do you think? Stu deserve one?” 

He briefly pretends to debate, “Worse.” 

You laugh at the irritated sound Stu lets out at the back of his throat. “Do you guys want anything?” They swear they’re fine as you pour yourself a glass of water and use it to down two tylonel tablets. “If my mom gets back from work and thinks I haven’t offered you guys anything to eat or drink, I’m not hearing the end of it.” 

“We’ll defend you.” Stu rests his weight against the kitchen counter, noting the bottle of cough syrup still out. “You need this?” 

You shake your head immediately. “I took some earlier and still feel foggy. I slept most of today.” 

Stu runs his thumb over the white cap, watching it spin without coming off. He considers pushing. Billy changes the subject before Stu has fully made up his mind, “You would be the type to have the most boring sick day.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You’re offended, and it’s oddly soft. “I didn’t just sleep.” 

Billy’s amused enough to press, “What else did you do?” 

“I think I know...” There’s a smugness in Stu’s voice that instantly floods you with embarrassment. Oh no. He’s found them. You snap your head up in time to see Stu holding up some of the tapes you left stacked on the counter. “Beverly Hills 90210, the first four seasons.” 

Billy looks right past you and focuses on Stu. “Only four?” 

“Uh--” You’re caught. “Five’s on right now...and I don’t have a copy of six.” They’re both too quiet, fighting the urge to burst into laughter. “Don’t judge. Trashy teen soaps are popular for a reason.” 

“What about artistic integrity?” 

You dismiss Billy’s question with a scoff that’s a hint too raspy. “Cheap writing in Hollywood isn’t my fault.” 

Instead of returning with another joke (maybe some comment about what Randy would say if he ever found out), Billy pushes himself off of the wall he was leaning against and approaches your refrigerator. 

Billy knows he’s at least heard of the usual home remedies, but he can’t quite place them. Won’t place them because the only person that ever worried about these kinds of things isn’t someone Billy’s willing to think about right now. 

Starve a fever or maybe that’s colds. There’s also...electrolytes? And hydration. That’s probably the best idea. Why does it matter? That thought bothers him, digs under his skin and settles at a wrong angle. He’s seen you. You’re alive, unscathed, and relatively fine. It’s not like any of the bad thoughts were proven right--you weren’t skipping for some other person or leaving.

But you’re uncomfortable. And alone. And vulnerable. Billy hates it. Hates that his awareness of your feelings is lodging itself in his mind and that he can’t really help and that it matters. He’s not sure he remembers the last time anyone besides Stu’s feelings actually mattered. Maybe Sidney’s did once, awhile ago, but that--that didn’t feel nearly as urgent as this.

“You okay?” Your voice snaps him back to the moment, to the glass of water he was getting. “You’re kind of staring at that glass like it knows something it shouldn’t.” 

You drop your voice a little, chin tilting down as you try to be funny. The humor is real enough that Billy doesn’t feel overly pushed, but he does note the thinly veiled genuineness in your words. That’s another thing about you. You say things and you mean them. Even if it’s completely casual, even if it’s a sentiment you’ll forget about immediately until it comes up again. You mean it. 

Billy sets the freshly filled glass on the counter, “Drink more water, your voice sounds like it could be used by a horror movie villain.” 

You frown like Billy’s offended you beyond repair. Just as he thinks you might protest, you pick up the glass and down a fair amount in a few gulps. “Happy?” 

“Oh, he’s thrilled,” Stu hums, “That’s what he looks like when he’s happy.” 

“I think I believe you.” Billy waits until your attention is fully on Stu before letting himself give in and smile a little. 

Stu takes a step towards you, “I’d never lie to you, baby.” He ignores the slight face you make at the nickname. Being sick must make you more irritable because you’ve let much more creative nicknames slide. Stu cups your face between his hands before you can protest. You don’t move or try to shake him off. He takes a second to exaggeratedly feel your skin. “You’re as hot as you look and that’s saying something.” 

“I’m wearing Christmas pajama pants that I got in 8th grade and I spent half the morning on the bathroom floor. No one could find this look attractive.” Stu half shrugs, protests already building, but you snap back to reality before he can get them out. “And if I’m that hot,” you step back, using your hands to pry him off of you, “You shouldn’t be touching me.”

He takes a step towards you. “My immune system’s strong.” Stu briefly flexes an arm, “You think all this could be supported by a weak one?” 

You half smile, giving Stu the opportunity he needs to place his hands on the soft blanket still on your shoulder’s. Again, he’s pleasantly surprised when you don’t brush him off. “You’re gonna get sick.”

Stu rubs a hand up and down your left shoulder, hoping the gesture comes off as light and comforting. “I’ll be fine.” 

Nothing about Stu has given you the indication that he’d be a tolerable sick person. Also, a small part of you is worried a cold like this could really take him out. He rarely dresses warm enough and you’ve seen the amount of energy drinks he’s willing to consume on one day. You’re also not sure you’ve ever seen him eat anything with significant nutritional value. “Every day I find out you’ve managed to keep yourself alive, I’m pleasantly surprised.” 

He squeezes your shoulder. “You’re cranky when you’re sick.” 

“At least she said pleasantly.” 

Stu looks past you to throw a dirty look in Billy’s direction. “Aw, he’s jealous of what we have.” 

Okay--you might be drowsy but you know where the play fighting over you goes. It starts off lighthearted enough, but if you’re not careful it can end kind of sour. One second everyone’s joking and the next Stu’s actually pushing you to pick a side on something that should be harmless but feels heavy. Sometimes Billy gets a little more involved than you think he wants to seem and it never feels fully about you. It’s like half of what they say means something else to them. 

“Okay, no fighting over me,” you shrug Stu off as best you can without losing your blanket, “I belong to this blanket and the couch.” 

You grab your cup of water off the counter and start walking to the living room without checking if they’re following. You hear their footsteps, but pay little mind to that as you settle on the couch and set your glass on the coffee table. 

Billy sits down next to you. “Couch and not your room?” 

Reluctantly sighing, you drop your head back, letting your neck rest at an awkward angle. "I live here now.” 

He can’t tell how much of that is a joke. Are you feeling that sick? “Right.” 

Your attention briefly flickers to the TV, the cliche teen drama that’s still playing being enough to suck you back in even though you’ve missed some context. To him it just looks like overly pretty-ed people overreacting. The scene ends and you return to the present enough to shrug off your blanket and settle the fabric more comfortably on your lap. “You guys can change the tape if you want.” 

A small mercy. Billy stands and begins looking at the tapes stacked on a shelf near the TV. It’s a fair collection, but the movies he saw in your room the time he came over to work on a project were better. He picks the first title that feels decent enough for background that doesn’t seem like too much just in case you’re prone to nausea. 

You’re patiently waiting for the tapes to switch out. Stu’s being quiet, which would have clued you in on a better rested, less sick day. You don’t realize he’s planning anything until you feel the side of your blanket being tugged on. “Stu.”

He scoots closer, “It’s cold.” 

Stu stretches his legs, weaseling himself under your blanket. You weakly try to push him out “There’s another blanket over there.” He ignores you, adjusting so that your legs overlap. “You’re going to get sick.” 

“Your pants are soft,” it’s said so softly, like a kid getting clothes fresh from the laundry.  You’re not sure you have it in you to ruin his good mood. He stretches a foot past your knee and a few inches up your thigh before relaxing back into place. “Fuzzy.”

Despite what you’re wearing, you can feel the comfortable warmth radiating off of him, turning the space beneath the blanket into a space heater. “You’re like a radiator.” 

“I’ll keep you warm an--” 

“Don’t ruin it.”

He frowns, mumbling something about you being “no fun” before sinking further into the couch. You pull more of the blanket onto you and Stu’s hit with the realization that you might not be warm enough. “You want another blanket?” 

You’re clearly surprised by the question. “Uh--no, I think I’m--” 

Stu pushes himself so that his legs are almost off your lap in order to reach the fabric draped over an armchair. He moves back into place and makes a point of draping the blanket over you. “Warmer?” 

“Yeah,” the admission is hesitant.

That is so like you, needing a little push to accept what you need. “Told ya.” 

He must be right because you don’t say anything else. Silence is usually your way of being reluctantly wrong. Stu takes his victory as an excuse to move a little closer. 

Billy sits back down, settling a little closer to the side of the couch. He’s not exactly jealous of how open Stu is. Distance is a good thing, a smart thing. But he does--

A weight on his shoulder. It takes less than a second for realization to wash over him. You’re relaxed, head resting on his upper arm. The room feels a little snugger but it’s not an uncomfortable change. 

The opening credits of the movie are rolling off screen and your eyes are focused on that. “Not to make this weird or lame,” you pause, sniffling slightly as you breathe, “But you guys are kind of nice, sometimes.” 

That has to be a sign of you being tired. Billy fights down a smile. “Sometimes?”

Stu turns his leg to tap your knee, “I think we deserve a little more than that.” 

You move your hand under the blanket to halfheartedly flick his leg. After that, your hand relaxes and rests there. “Fine. Most of the time.”