#i told my physical therapist this and she said to hold onto it

[ursaspecter]

Physical therapy is kicking my ASS but it feels so good to bend my knee again even if it is just 10 minutes a day outside the clinic. I'm just glad I can do it all by myself. Something something it has to get worse before it gets better I guess.

[reidmarieprentiss]

Short Shorts & Long Hair 2

Summary: Spencer and his physical therapist enjoy their new relationship.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x PT fem!reader

Category: fluff, smut (18+)

Warnings/Includes: smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut, suggestive content & conversation, alcohol consumption, feelings talks, trying on clothes in front of spencer, drunk sexual advances (not acted on)

Word count: 9.7k

a/n: i am so so so sorry this took me forever to get out -- honestly it has been done for over a week i just couldn't decide if i wanted to add more or not :/// i like where it leaves off though!

main masterlist part one

Additional warnings: oral (male receiving)

Spencer was immersed in his work, his focus completely on the files spread out in front of him, when a familiar voice cut through the usual hum of the bullpen.

“Can you point me to Doctor Reid, please?”

His head snapped up instantly, the sound of your voice pulling him from his thoughts. There you were, standing just a few feet away, looking absolutely stunning in your work attire that was professional yet irresistibly appealing. Spencer’s heart skipped a beat as he took in the sight of you, his surprise evident on his face.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, a mixture of delight and shock coloring his tone. “What are you doing here?”

You smiled warmly, holding up a couple of bags filled with what looked like takeout containers. “Bringing my two favorite geniuses some lunch,” you said as you walked over, the easy confidence in your stride making Spencer’s heart race just a little faster.

Before Spencer could respond, Derek Morgan’s voice rang out from across the room. “Reid, you gonna introduce us?” Derek asked, his trademark smirk firmly in place as he leaned back in his chair, clearly amused by the unexpected visit.

Spencer felt a flush creep up his neck as he turned to face Derek. “Uh, yeah, of course,” he stammered slightly, trying to regain his composure. “Derek, this is Y/N, my—well, she’s… she’s a physical therapist.”

Derek raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening as he caught onto the hesitation in Spencer’s voice. “A physical therapist, huh?” he said, clearly intrigued. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. Any friend of Reid’s is a friend of mine.”

You chuckled, extending a hand to Derek. “Nice to meet you too, Derek. Spencer hasn’t mentioned a thing about you.”

Derek laughed loudly, clearly amused. “I like you already. I hope you give him a hard time.”

You smiled, relishing the easy banter. “Every chance I get, but for now, I’m here to make sure he’s well-fed and not skipping any meals.”

Spencer, still a bit flustered, managed a smile as he glanced between you and Derek. “Thanks for the lunch, Y/N,” he said, his voice softer now, filled with appreciation. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” you replied, your eyes meeting his with a warmth that made his heart flutter. “Besides, I needed an excuse to see you.”

Derek let out a low whistle, clearly enjoying the interaction. “Reid, you’ve been holding out on us,” he teased. “How come you never told us about your very generous, very attractive physical therapist?”

Spencer’s blush deepened, the rosy hue spreading across his cheeks, but he couldn’t help the small, shy smile that tugged at his lips. “I, uh… she’s not my physical therapist anymore,” he admitted, his voice faltering slightly.

Derek’s smirk widened, sensing an opportunity. “No? Then what is she, pretty boy?” he asked, his tone teasing but curious.

Spencer paled at the question, his mind racing for a response, but before he could stammer out an answer, Penelope’s voice cut through the tension, saving him from the awkwardness.

“Y/N! What are you doing here, gorgeous?” Penelope exclaimed as she entered the bullpen, her vibrant presence instantly lightening the mood.

You turned to greet her, grateful for the timely interruption. “Just bringing some lunch for my favorite geniuses,” you replied with a bright smile, embracing Penelope as she reached you.

Penelope grinned, giving you a quick hug before turning her gaze toward Spencer and Derek, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “Well, isn’t this a delightful surprise! You boys better be on your best behavior—Y/N’s practically family now.”

Spencer let out a quiet sigh of relief, silently thanking Penelope for diverting the conversation. He wasn’t sure how he would have explained what was happening between you two—mostly because he was still figuring it out himself.

—

At your regular wine and painting night, you and Penelope had indulged a little more in the wine and a little less in the painting. The vibrant colors on your canvases were more the result of playful brush strokes than any serious artistic endeavor, and the conversation had turned increasingly lively.

“So… how is the good doctor between the sheets?” Penelope asked, her eyes sparkling with a mix of curiosity and wine-fueled boldness.

“Penny!” you admonished, feeling your cheeks flush as you playfully swatted at her arm.

Penelope pouted, clearly unbothered by your reaction. “I need details! He won’t tell me anything.”

You sighed, trying to figure out how to navigate this without giving too much away. “There’s not much to tell…”

Penelope’s face fell, her concern evident as she leaned in closer. “Oh no, are you two not doing well?” she asked, her tone suddenly serious.

“No, no, nothing like that,” you quickly reassured her, waving off her worries with a small laugh.

“Then what?” Penelope’s intoxicated brain wasn’t quite catching the subtle signals you were sending. She looked at you expectantly, waiting for an explanation.

You hesitated, biting your lip before finally mumbling, “We haven’t even kissed…”

“WHAT!” Penelope’s outburst was loud enough to draw the attention of the entire room, heads turning to look at you both.

You quickly reached out, grabbing her arm and whispering urgently, “Penny, shhh!”

Penelope clamped a hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as she realized she had caused a scene. The other attendees slowly returned to their own conversations, the moment passing, but not without a few lingering glances in your direction.

Penelope leaned in closer, her voice lowered but still insistent. “How have you not kissed yet?” she whispered, her curiosity undeterred by your attempts at discretion.

You sighed, feeling the weight of the question. “It’s just… complicated,” you explained softly. “We’ve been trying to figure things out, and we haven’t rushed anything.”

Penelope’s expression softened, her earlier excitement replaced by understanding. “You know, there’s no need to rush,” she said gently. “But when the time feels right, just go for it, okay? Spencer’s a good guy, and he really likes you.”

You nodded, appreciating her support despite her earlier outburst. “I know. I really like him too.”

Penelope smiled, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze. “Then it’ll happen when it’s meant to. But if you need a little push, you know who to call.”

You laughed, the tension easing as you clinked your wine glasses together. The conversation shifted back to lighter topics, but the words Penelope had spoken stayed with you, a reminder that sometimes, it’s okay to take the first step.

—

“Knock knock, doc,” you called out teasingly as you knocked on Spencer’s door. It was your first time at his apartment, and you could feel a mix of excitement and nerves bubbling up inside you. You’d seen him in so many different settings—at work, in the PT room—but this felt different, more personal.

On the other side of the door, Spencer was trying to calm his racing heart. He had never had a woman in his apartment who wasn’t a family member or a coworker, and the thought of you being in his space made him both anxious and thrilled. He took a deep breath before opening the door.

“Hi, Y/N,” he greeted, his voice soft, a shy smile playing on his lips.

You couldn’t help but notice the way he still managed to be a little shy around you, even after all those months of physical therapy and now a month of casually seeing each other. It was something you found endearing, a reminder of just how sweet and genuine he was.

“Hello, Doctor,” you replied with a warm smile, stepping inside as he moved aside to let you in.

Spencer’s apartment was exactly what you’d imagined—cozy and filled with books, papers, and little pieces of his life that reflected his brilliant mind. There was a slight scent of coffee lingering in the air, and the space felt inviting, even if it was clear he hadn’t had many visitors.

“Sorry if it’s a bit… cluttered,” Spencer said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he watched you take in your surroundings.

“Are you kidding? It’s perfect,” you reassured him, turning to face him with a genuine smile. “It’s very… you.”

Spencer chuckled softly, his shoulders relaxing slightly at your words. “I’m glad you think so. Can I get you something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

“Tea sounds great,” you said, following him into the kitchen area, where he began to fuss with the kettle and tea bags.

As he busied himself with the tea, you couldn’t help but feel a warm sense of contentment. This was different from any of your previous encounters—more intimate, more real. It wasn’t just about seeing each other in public or sharing a meal; this was about being in each other’s space, learning more about each other in a way that felt deeper.

“So,” you said, leaning against the counter as he waited for the water to boil, “how come you’re still a little shy around me after all this time? I thought we were past that.”

Spencer glanced up at you, his cheeks flushing slightly as he shrugged. “I don’t know… I guess I’m just not used to this kind of thing,” he admitted, his honesty making your heart flutter. “I’ve never really done this before—having someone I care about in my home. It’s… new.”

You smiled, touched by his vulnerability. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m really glad to be here. And there’s no need to be nervous.”

Spencer’s smile grew a little more confident as he poured the hot water into the teapot, the steam rising between you. “I’m glad you’re here too,” he said softly, meeting your gaze with those warm, earnest eyes that had drawn you in from the beginning.

You settled into the couch beside Spencer, the two of you sinking into a comfortable rhythm as you sipped your tea and chatted about everything and nothing. The atmosphere in his apartment was cozy and relaxed, a perfect backdrop for the easy conversation you were sharing. 

But there was something on your mind, something that had been lingering ever since your talk with Penelope. And now, sitting here with Spencer, the time felt right to bring it up.

“So, Doctor,” you began, a teasing lilt in your voice as you turned to face him more fully. “Can I ask you an awkward question?”

Spencer froze for a split second, his cup of tea hovering just below his lips. He glanced at you, a mix of curiosity and trepidation in his eyes. “Oh no,” he replied, trying to keep his tone light despite the slight edge of nervousness creeping in. “I suppose you can.”

You took a deep breath, deciding to just go for it. “You like me, right?”

Spencer blinked, clearly caught off guard by the directness of your question. His cheeks flushed slightly, but he nodded. “Ye—yes,” he stammered, his voice a little higher than usual.

“As in,” you continued, keeping your tone playful to ease the tension, “think I’m pretty, want to date me, take me home to meet your mom?”

Spencer’s eyes widened, and you could see the color rising in his face, turning his cheeks a deep shade of pink. “Uh huh,” he managed to mumble, his gaze flickering between you and his cup, as if he was trying to find a safe place to look.

You smiled, feeling a rush of affection for him, but also a bit of frustration at the unspoken distance that still lingered between you. “Then why haven’t we kissed?” you asked, your voice softening as you leaned in just a little closer.

Spencer’s face turned so red so fast that you almost laughed, but you held it in, not wanting to make him feel more uncomfortable than he already did. He set his cup down carefully, his hands suddenly feeling very empty and unsure of where to go.

“I, um…” Spencer started, his words stumbling over each other as he tried to form a coherent sentence. “I just… I didn’t want to rush things… or make you uncomfortable… I wanted to do it right…”

You could see the earnestness in his eyes, the genuine concern that he had been holding back, and it melted your heart. But you also saw the nervousness, the self-doubt that had kept him from making a move, and you knew you needed to reassure him.

“Spencer,” you said gently, reaching out to place a hand on his knee. The touch seemed to ground him, and his gaze finally settled on you, his expression softening as he realized you weren’t upset—just curious.

“I appreciate that you’re trying to be careful,” you continued, giving his knee a gentle squeeze. “But I want you to know that you don’t have to be so afraid. I like you—a lot. And if you want to kiss me… well, I’m ready whenever you are.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his eyes searching yours for any hint of hesitation or uncertainty. When he found none, he let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, his shoulders relaxing just a bit.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while now,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just didn’t know if… if you felt the same way.”

You smiled, your heart swelling with affection for this man who was so brilliant, so caring, and yet so unsure of himself when it came to matters of the heart. “I do,” you assured him, your voice just as soft. “So maybe we should stop overthinking it?”

Spencer’s lips quirked up into a small, tentative smile, and he nodded. “Maybe we should.”

And with that, he leaned in slowly, his eyes never leaving yours as he closed the distance between you. When his lips finally met yours, it was gentle, almost tentative at first, as if he was still worried about getting it right. But as you responded, kissing him back with all the warmth and affection you’d been holding onto, Spencer relaxed into the kiss, letting himself finally savor the moment he’d been waiting for.

When you finally pulled back, both of you were smiling, the awkwardness and uncertainty from before completely melted away. Spencer’s face was still a bit flushed, but now there was a light in his eyes—a confidence that hadn’t been there before.

“Wow,” he breathed, his voice filled with wonder and a touch of amazement. “That was… that was really nice.”

You laughed softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “Yeah, it was,” you agreed, feeling a warm glow in your chest. “And you know what? We can do that again anytime you want.”

Spencer grinned, looking like a kid on Christmas. “Really?”

“Oh, doctor. You’re too sweet, really,” you replied, your heart warming at the sight of his pure excitement.

And with that, the two of you settled back into the couch, this time with a newfound closeness that made the night feel even more perfect than before.

—

After you left that night, Spencer couldn’t shake the new sensation that had taken root in his gut. It was different from anything he’d felt before—intense, almost overwhelming. Of course, he’d been aroused before, but never by the thought of someone he could actually touch whenever he wanted, someone who had explicitly told him so.

As he lay in bed, replaying the evening in his mind, the memory of your kiss and the warmth of your body next to his fueled that unfamiliar feeling. It wasn’t just the physical attraction—it was the knowledge that you wanted him too, that you were there for him in a way no one else had ever been.

His breath quickened as the sensation grew, spreading through him like wildfire. Without fully realizing it, Spencer found his hand sliding down his body, reaching into his own pants. The touch sent a shiver down his spine, a thrill of anticipation building as he prepared to explore this new, intoxicating feeling.

For the first time, it wasn’t just about curiosity or need—it was about you, and the desire that had ignited between you both. And as he began to indulge in that sensation, he allowed himself to get lost in the thought of you, embracing the closeness he had longed for and now had the freedom to explore.

—

Penelope had extended an invitation to you for a team night at the bar that Friday, and you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness. Meeting all of Spencer’s close friends felt like an important step, one that you wanted to approach the right way. But before accepting, you decided it was best to check with Spencer first.

You dialed his number, feeling a flutter in your chest as you waited for him to pick up. It didn’t take long.

“Hello?” Spencer’s voice came through the line, a hint of warmth already in his tone.

“Hey, doctor,” you greeted, smiling to yourself at the familiar sound of his voice.

“Y/N,” he responded, and you could hear the smile in his voice too, making your own grin widen. 

“So… Penelope invited me out for drinks with your team this weekend. Is that okay? If I come?” you asked, a touch of uncertainty creeping into your voice.

“Oh, yeah. Of course,” Spencer replied quickly, his tone reassuring. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, you know, I don’t know,” you admitted, feeling a bit silly for even asking but needing to be sure. “I didn’t want to intrude or make things awkward.”

“Y/N, it’s totally fine,” Spencer assured you, his voice gentle. “I’m really glad you’re coming. The team will love you.”

“Okay,” you said, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. “I’m excited to meet everyone. And to spend more time with you, of course.”

“Me too,” Spencer said softly, and you could practically feel his smile through the phone. “It’s going to be a great night.”

—

Spencer wasn’t expecting a knock at his door after work on Friday, so when he heard it, he was momentarily confused. But he answered the door anyway, curiosity getting the better of him. When he opened it, he was surprised to see you standing there, looking a bit flustered.

“Y/N?” he said, his voice laced with surprise.

“Hi,” you greeted, offering a small, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry to just show up, but…”

“But…?” Spencer prompted, his concern quickly shifting to curiosity.

“I don’t know what to wear tonight,” you admitted, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

Spencer couldn’t help but laugh softly, the sound light and full of affection. “You didn’t want to ask Penelope?”

“Oh god,” you groaned, suddenly self-conscious. “Do you not want me here right now? I’m intruding, aren’t I?”

“No! No, you’re not intruding,” Spencer quickly reassured you, shaking his head. “I just… I don’t know how much I can help you with that.”

“You can help me plenty,” you replied, your tone more confident as you stepped inside.

Spencer closed the door behind you, still smiling at the unexpected turn of events. “Okay, well, what are your options?”

You sighed dramatically and dropped a large bag onto Spencer’s floor with a thud, causing his eyes to widen in shock. “I have a few things to try on,” you announced, your tone light but your expression determined.

“I see that,” Spencer replied, still processing the sheer size of the bag. His mind was already spinning with the thought of you modeling different outfits in his apartment, a scenario that both thrilled and unnerved him.

“Should I change in your bedroom?” you asked, already heading in that direction.

“Mhm, yeah, that’s fine,” Spencer managed to say, though his voice was a bit distracted, his thoughts lingering on the image of you stripping down in his bedroom, even if he wasn’t going to be in there.

But then a sudden realization hit him, and he panicked. “Wait!” he yelled, his voice more urgent than he intended. But it was too late. You had already disappeared into his bedroom.

Spencer rushed down the hall, his heart pounding. When he reached the doorway, he found you standing there, holding up the one thing he had desperately hoped you wouldn’t see: a framed photo of you.

“Where did you get this?” you asked, turning to him with a curious smile, the photo held gently in your hands.

Spencer felt his face flush with embarrassment as he looked at the floor, his hands fidgeting nervously. “Penelope gave it to me…” he mumbled, his voice barely above a whisper.

You studied the photo for a moment, recognizing it as one from a team event Penelope had captured—a candid shot of you laughing, completely unaware of the camera. It was one of those moments that felt so genuine, so full of life, and it surprised you to see it framed in Spencer’s room.

“Spencer,” you said softly, your voice filled with warmth rather than the teasing he had expected. “It’s so sweet that you kept this.”

He finally looked up, his expression a mixture of shyness and vulnerability. “I didn’t know where else to put it,” he admitted, his voice still quiet. “I just… I like having it around. It makes me think of you.”

Your heart melted at his honesty, and you stepped closer, still holding the photo. “I’m glad you kept it. It means a lot to me.”

Spencer’s eyes softened as he met your gaze, relief washing over him. “It does?”

“Of course it does,” you replied, setting the photo down carefully on his dresser. “It’s nice to know you were thinking of me.”

He smiled, the tension easing out of his shoulders. “I think about you a lot.”

You returned his smile, feeling a wave of affection for him. “Good. Because I think about you a lot too.”

For a moment, the two of you just stood there, then, with a playful glint in your eye, you broke the silence. “Now, how about you help me decide what to wear tonight?”

Spencer chuckled, the earlier awkwardness dissolving completely. “Okay,” he said, his voice lighter now. “Let’s see what you’ve got.”

And with that, you returned to your bag of outfits, searching for the first look. Spencer tried his best to focus on giving you his honest opinion, but with every outfit you modeled, the room seemed to grow warmer, and his pants became more uncomfortable with every bit of skin you revealed.

Each outfit was stunning, and Spencer found himself more captivated by you with each one. But when you finally emerged in the last outfit, he was sure he had died and gone to heaven.

Spencer’s breath caught in his throat as he took in the sight of you. The outfit was perfect—elegant yet bold, with just the right amount of allure. He could barely find the words as he watched you give a playful spin, the fabric hugging your curves in all the right places.

Spencer coughed, trying to regain his composure. “That—um, that’s the one,” he managed to say, his voice a little strained.

“Really?” you asked, a pleased smile spreading across your face as you noticed the effect you were having on him.

Spencer nodded, his mouth suddenly dry as he watched you. “Yup,” he thought to himself, "I’m dead."

You laughed softly, clearly enjoying his reaction, and Spencer couldn’t help but think that you were more than ready to meet his team—looking as stunning as you did. But what he hadn’t expected was just how much he wanted to keep you all to himself, if only for a little longer.

—

“Woah! Pretty boy found himself a pretty girl,” Derek exclaimed as soon as you and Spencer walked into the bar, arm in arm. His voice was full of good-natured teasing, but there was genuine admiration in his eyes as he took in your appearance. “You clean up nice, Miss Therapist!”

You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling both flattered and a little bashful under the attention. “Thanks, Derek,” you replied with a smile, feeling Spencer’s arm tighten around yours in a subtle but protective gesture.

Spencer’s cheeks flushed slightly, but there was a small, proud smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have you by his side, and seeing his teammates’ reactions only made it sweeter.

“You’re not looking too bad yourself,” you teased back, your voice light and playful as you settled into the lively atmosphere of the bar. It was clear that you were comfortable, quickly warming up to Spencer's team. 

But Spencer, who had been enjoying the moment just seconds before, suddenly felt a pang of something he wasn’t accustomed to—jealousy. He stiffened slightly, the green monster of jealousy rearing its ugly head as he watched you banter so easily with Derek. Rationally, he knew there was nothing to worry about, but seeing how well you clicked with everyone else made him momentarily insecure.

As you continued introducing yourself to the rest of the team, you must have sensed Spencer’s unease because you glanced back at him, catching his eye. When your gaze met his, the jealousy that had been bubbling beneath the surface started to fade. You gave him a warm, reassuring smile, your eyes sparkling with affection.

“Can we get a drink, doctor?” you asked, your voice sweet as you directed your attention back to him.

“We?” he teased, raising an eyebrow, though he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips.

You blushed, leaning up to whisper in his ear, “I don’t want to leave your side,” your breath warm against his skin.

And just like that, the jealousy was gone. Spencer felt a wave of relief and affection wash over him, the insecurities he’d felt moments before dissipating. You didn’t want to be anywhere else but with him, and that realization made him feel more confident and secure than ever.

He smiled, his heart swelling with a mix of gratitude and happiness. “Then let’s get that drink,” he said softly, wrapping an arm around your waist as the two of you headed toward the bar, ready to enjoy the night together, side by side.

—

As the night wore on, you found yourself listening intently to the team, who seemed all too eager to share some of Spencer’s more memorable, and perhaps a bit embarrassing, moments. Spencer sat beside you, a slightly apprehensive look on his face as the stories began to flow.

“You know, Spencer’s come a long way,” JJ started with a grin, her eyes twinkling as she glanced at him. “But I’ll never forget the time he tried to impress us all by downing a whole shot of whiskey in one go. He spent the next hour trying to convince us that he didn’t hate it, even though his face was bright red, and he looked like he was about to pass out.”

Emily burst into laughter at the memory, adding, “Oh, and then there was the time we had that karaoke night. Spencer swore up and down that he wasn’t going to sing, but after a few drinks, he got up there and belted out the most enthusiastic rendition of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ I’ve ever seen. The best part? He knew every single word.”

Spencer groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I was coerced,” he mumbled, his voice muffled by his hands.

Rossi chuckled, giving Spencer a good-natured pat on the back. “We’ve all had our moments, kid. But remember that time you went undercover at that poker game? You were so nervous, you almost gave yourself away because you kept quoting statistics about the probability of certain hands.”

The group erupted into laughter, and you couldn’t help but join in, imagining Spencer trying to maintain his cover while rattling off numbers. Spencer, though clearly a little embarrassed, was also smiling, appreciating the camaraderie despite being the center of the stories.

“Hey, it was relevant information!” Spencer protested, his cheeks still tinged with pink.

You leaned into him, grinning as you said, “I think it’s cute. You just wanted to make sure they were all well-informed.”

Spencer sighed, but there was a smile on his face as he looked at you. “I guess if you think so, then it’s not all bad.”

Everyone exchanged knowing looks, clearly pleased with how much you seemed to appreciate Spencer’s quirks. 

JJ leaned in, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper, “Just wait until you hear about the time he got locked in the evidence room with nothing but a box of donuts and a rubber chicken. Now that’s a story.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, and he quickly cut in, “Okay, that’s enough! No more embarrassing stories for one night!”

You laughed, squeezing his hand under the table. “Don’t worry, Spencer. I’m enjoying every minute of it.”

Spencer smiled, feeling a sense of warmth and acceptance from you and his team. Despite the teasing, he was surrounded by people who cared about him—and knowing that you were part of that made the night feel all the more special.

—

Emily, her tongue loosened by the liquor, leaned in with a mischievous grin. “So, do you ever get super hot patients?” she asked, her eyes twinkling with curiosity.

You couldn’t help but laugh at the question, glancing over at Spencer before replying, “I mean… I got Spencer, didn’t I?”

The group erupted in laughter, but none louder than Spencer, who blushed furiously at your response. His face turned a deep shade of red as he buried it in your hair, trying to hide from the playful teasing. The sight of him trying to disappear was met with even more amusement from everyone at the table.

“Ohhh, pretty boy,” Derek chimed in, grinning from ear to ear. “What did you two get up to during those private sessions?”

Spencer groaned, clearly mortified, while you simply chuckled, enjoying the lighthearted moment. “Just some very professional physical therapy, of course,” you said with a wink, playing along with the teasing.

Emily laughed, raising her glass in a mock toast. “Well, whatever you did, it seems to have worked wonders. Spencer’s never looked better.”

The group continued to joke and laugh, the atmosphere full of warmth and camaraderie. Despite the embarrassment, Spencer couldn’t help but smile, feeling incredibly lucky to have you by his side, even if it meant enduring a little teasing from his friends. 

You leaned closer to him, whispering softly so only he could hear, “Don’t worry, Spencer. I think you’re the hottest patient I’ve had.”

Spencer’s blush deepened, but the smile on his face showed just how much your words meant to him. The night continued with more stories, more laughter, and a growing sense of connection that made Spencer feel more at ease than ever before.

—

As the night began to wind down, the lively atmosphere in the bar was gradually giving way to a more subdued, tired vibe. The laughter had softened, and the conversations were growing quieter. You noticed Spencer leaning in closer to you, his presence warm and familiar, but there was something different in the way he moved this time—something more deliberate, more intimate.

His hand, steady yet gentle, found its way to your inner thigh, just beneath the edge of your dress. The touch was subtle, but the electricity it sent through your body was anything but. You felt his fingers dance dangerously close to your panties, a teasing reminder of the tension that had been building between you all night.

He leaned in even closer, his lips brushing against your ear, his breath warm against your skin. “Do you want to get out of here?” he whispered, his voice low and laced with desire and anticipation.

The combination of his touch and the way his words sent a thrill down your spine made your heart race. You could barely think, barely breathe, and without a second thought, you found yourself nodding—perhaps a bit too eagerly, as you felt like a bobblehead. But you didn’t care. All you knew was that you wanted to leave, to be alone with him, to let the night take you wherever it was meant to go.

Spencer smiled, clearly pleased with your response. He gave your thigh a gentle squeeze before pulling back just enough to catch your eyes, the look he gave you full of unspoken promises. He didn’t need to say anything else—the two of you were completely in sync.

You both quickly made your excuses to the rest of the team, who were too absorbed in their own conversations to notice much. And then, with Spencer’s hand still resting on your thigh, you slipped out of the bar together, leaving behind the tired vibes for the promise of what was to come.

The night air was cool and crisp as you stepped outside, but the heat between you and Spencer was undeniable, crackling with anticipation. He kept his hand not on his cane on your hip, guiding you through the quiet streets, and you knew that whatever happened next, you were more than ready for it.

—

The moment you stepped inside Spencer’s apartment, the door barely clicked shut behind you before he was on you. His hand found your waist, pulling you close as his mouth captured yours in a kiss that was as urgent as it was deep. It was as if all the tension, all the unspoken desire that had simmered between you all night, finally erupted in this single, intense moment.

You responded just as eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pressed yourself against him. The world outside his apartment seemed to disappear, leaving only the two of you, lost in each other. His lips moved against yours with a fervor that made your knees weak, and you found yourself clinging to him, needing to feel every inch of his body against yours.

Spencer’s hand roamed from your waist to your back, pulling you even closer as he kissed you like a man starved. He broke away just long enough to catch his breath, his forehead resting against yours as he whispered, “I’ve wanted to do this all night.”

“Me too,” you breathed, your voice barely a whisper, your heart pounding in your chest. Without waiting for a response, you captured his lips again, this time with even more intensity.

You barely made it past the entryway, stumbling together toward the living room, neither of you willing to let go long enough to think about where you were headed. All that mattered was the feel of his mouth on yours, the warmth of his body pressed against you, and the electricity that crackled between you with every touch, every kiss.

Spencer’s hand slipped beneath your dress, his fingers tracing the curve of your ass, sending shivers down your spine. You moaned softly into his mouth, the sound spurring him on as he backed you up against the wall, his lips never leaving yours.

“Spencer,” you murmured between kisses, trying to catch his attention as his lips continued to explore your neck. “Mmm, Spencer—wait.”

He finally pulled away, panting, his eyes dark with desire. “Yeah?” he asked, clearly trying to understand why you’d stopped him.

You took a deep breath, your heart racing for reasons other than the passionate kiss you’d just shared. “I just—well, we’ve been drinking,” you said, your voice hesitant.

Spencer nodded, his brow furrowing slightly in confusion. “I know.”

You bit your lip, searching for the right words. “Don’t make me say it,” you whispered, not wanting to dampen the moment but needing to address the concern that had surfaced.

Spencer really pulled back then, his expression shifting from desire to confusion. “What?” he asked, genuinely puzzled.

You met his gaze, feeling a mix of vulnerability and care for him. “Are you a virgin?” you asked softly, the question hanging in the air between you.

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, realization dawning on him. “Is that what this is about?”

“No!” you quickly reassured him, but then added, “Well, yes. I don’t want your first time to be when we’re both intoxicated. Especially with your leg—I don’t want to hurt you.”

Spencer’s expression softened as he began to understand the depth of your concern. He reached up, gently cupping your face in his hands, his thumb brushing your cheek in a soothing gesture. “Y/N,” he began, his voice filled with warmth and understanding, “I appreciate that you’re thinking about this… about me. But I want you to know that I’m not rushing into this without knowing what I’m doing.”

You started to protest, your worry still gnawing at you. “But—”

“Just listen,” he interrupted softly, his voice steady as he leaned in to kiss you, a kiss filled with reassurance and longing. “I’ve been thinking about you for so long,” he continued, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes. “I know what I want.”

“Spencer…” you whispered, your heart aching with how much you cared for him. “I can’t have sex with you when we’re drunk. Not now.”

He held your gaze, his expression unwavering, and nodded slowly. “Okay,” he said, his voice gentle and full of respect. “I understand.”

You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the way he valued your feelings just as much as his own desires. It was in that moment you realized just how much this man meant to you—how much you both meant to each other.

“I want it to be right,” you said softly, your voice carrying the weight of your emotions. “For both of us.”

Spencer smiled, a tender, loving smile that made your heart swell. “And it will be,” he promised. “When the time is right. I can wait, Y/N. We can wait.”

You nodded, feeling a profound sense of relief and gratitude. “Thank you,” you whispered, leaning in to kiss him again, this time with the knowledge that you were both on the same page, both willing to take your time.

Spencer wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close, and for the rest of the night, you simply held each other, content in the knowledge that what you had was special—something worth cherishing and protecting. There was no rush, no pressure, just the comfort of being together, knowing that when the time came, it would be perfect.

—

Spencer woke up the next morning to the gentle light of the early sun filtering through the curtains. The first thing he noticed was the comfortable weight on his chest—a soft, warm presence that made his heart swell with contentment. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he looked down to find you curled up against him, your head resting on his chest, your breath soft and steady.

A smile tugged at his lips as he took in the sight of you, your hair slightly tousled, your face relaxed in sleep. He couldn’t help but notice the small spot of drool on his shirt where your mouth rested, but instead of feeling anything but affection, he found it endearing. The fact that you were so comfortable with him, so at ease, made him feel a deep sense of warmth and happiness.

Careful not to disturb you, Spencer shifted slightly, realizing that his leg was properly elevated, a pillow supporting it in just the right way. He hadn’t remembered doing that, but the thought that you had taken care of him, even after everything, made his heart swell even more.

His gaze shifted to the glass of water sitting on the nightstand beside him, another thoughtful gesture that you had left for him. It was such a simple thing, but it spoke volumes about how much you cared.

For a moment, Spencer just lay there, savoring the feeling of having you in his arms, of waking up to this kind of peaceful morning. It was new, and it was wonderful, and he realized that he could get used to this—waking up with you, taking care of each other, sharing these quiet, intimate moments.

Gently, he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his touch light so as not to wake you. You stirred slightly, nuzzling closer to him, and Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle softly. Even in sleep, you sought him out, and that simple act made him feel like the luckiest man in the world.

“Spence?” you whined quietly, your voice still thick with sleep as you shifted slightly against his chest.

“Yeah?” Spencer replied softly, his hand gently rubbing your back.

“You’re so comfy… so warm,” you mumbled, your words slurred as you burrowed deeper into him.

“I’m glad,” he chuckled, feeling a warmth that had nothing to do with the blanket covering you both.

A moment of quiet passed before you asked, “Did I drool on you?”

“Yes, you did,” he answered, a teasing lilt in his voice.

“Ughh, that’s embarrassing,” you groaned, trying to hide your face against him.

“I think it’s cute,” Spencer reassured you, a smile playing on his lips as he held you closer.

You sighed, your voice softening even more. “I really like you.”

“I really like you more,” Spencer replied without missing a beat, his heart swelling at the simple honesty of the moment.

“Nuh uh,” you mumbled, your sleepy defiance only making him smile wider.

“Yuh huh,” he countered, his voice light and teasing, feeling a sense of giddy, light-hearted joy he hadn’t experienced in a long time.

You let out a small, contented sigh, your hand resting on his chest as you settled back into the warmth and comfort of his embrace. “We’ll have to settle this later,” you whispered, already half-asleep again.

Spencer smiled, his heart full as he whispered back, “I’m looking forward to it.”

And as you drifted back to sleep, Spencer lay there, feeling lighter than air, the weight of the world replaced by the simple joy of having you there with him, in this perfect, quiet moment.

—

Later that morning, you found yourself in Spencer's kitchen, the aroma of freshly brewed coffee filling the air. You leaned casually against the counter, watching him as he focused on making your cup just the way you liked it. There was something so endearing about the way he moved, so intent on getting it right, that it made you smile.

“Do you remember last night?” you asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

Spencer glanced up at you, a small, knowing smile on his lips. “All of it,” he replied confidently.

“Seriously?” You raised an eyebrow, half-impressed, half-incredulous. “You drank a lot.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he poured the coffee into a mug. “Eidetic memory,” he reminded you, his tone light. “It doesn’t just go away.”

You couldn’t help but grin, leaning in a little closer. “So you remember trying sooo desperately to get in my pants?”

“Y/N,” Spencer groaned, his face flushing as he turned away from the coffee pot. He shot you a look of playful exasperation. “Do not say it like that.”

You laughed, delighted by his reaction. “But it’s true!”

Spencer shook his head, his lips twitching with a smile despite his embarrassment. “I was trying to… be intimate with my… lady friend,” he said, the words coming out a little stilted as he tried to sound casual.

“Lady friend?” you laughed, raising an eyebrow at his choice of words.

“Yup,” he replied, trying to muster up some false confidence, though his cheeks were still tinged pink.

“Is that what I am to you?” you teased, leaning in closer, your grin playful.

“Special lady friend?” he suggested, his voice laced with a hint of nervousness.

“You scared of something, Doctor?” you grinned, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him just a bit closer.

“Not right now,” he admitted, the sincerity in his voice matching the way his eyes softened as he looked at you.

“Then ask me,” you prompted, your voice dropping to a gentle whisper.

Spencer took a deep breath, his hand coming up to gently cup your chin, his touch tender. He looked into your eyes, trying to muster the courage to be vulnerable. “Y/N, will you be my bestest friend?” he asked, his tone light but serious.

You blinked, caught off guard by the sudden shift in his words, and the humor drained from your face. “No, jerk,” you said, pushing him away, your playful mood evaporating as frustration and anger bubbled up inside you.

Spencer’s eyes widened, confusion and concern flashing across his face. “Y/N, I didn’t mean—”

But you were already stepping back, feeling hurt by the way he had sidestepped what you thought was going to be a genuine, heartfelt moment. “I thought you were going to ask me to be your girlfriend, Spencer,” you said, your voice tight with emotion. “Not just your… your ‘bestest friend.’”

Spencer’s face fell as he realized his attempt to be cute had backfired. “Y/N, I’m sorry,” he said quickly, reaching out to you, his eyes full of genuine remorse. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

You allowed yourself to be pulled back into his arms. “I shouldn’t have joked in such a serious moment,” he continued, his voice soft and sincere. “I’m sorry.” Then, with a hopeful glint in his eyes, he asked, “Y/N… will you be my girlfriend?”

You tried to keep a grumpy expression, but it was hard to resist his earnest gaze. “And your bestest friend?” you asked, your voice carrying a hint of playful irritation.

“Ideally, yes,” Spencer replied, his tone gentle but hopeful.

You couldn’t hold back a smile any longer. “Yes, Spencer. But you’re on thin ice in the bestest friend department.”

“Noted,” he nodded seriously, a smile tugging at his lips. “How am I doing in the boyfriend department?”

You pretended to think for a moment before leaning in closer, a mischievous smile playing on your lips. “Well, I have an ache I need looked into. Can my doctor boyfriend check it out?”

“Of course,” Spencer said, his voice taking on a playful tone as he leaned in as well. “What hurts?”

You smiled, letting the moment linger before you pointed at your lips, your eyes sparkling with affection. Spencer grinned, closing the distance between you, and pressed a gentle, tender kiss to your lips.

“Anything else hurt?” Spencer asked, his lips barely brushing against yours, his voice low and filled with teasing and tenderness.

“Nuh uh,” you murmured, enjoying the closeness. Then, with a mischievous glint in your eye, you added, “But I might need to give you a physical. It seems like there’s something I missed in our last one.”

Spencer pulled back slightly, a puzzled expression crossing his face as he glanced down. The moment he noticed the tent forming under his sweats, his cheeks flushed a deep shade of red, realization dawning on him.

“Uh,” he stammered, clearly flustered, his eyes flicking back up to meet yours. You couldn’t help but giggle at his reaction, finding his innocence utterly adorable.

Spencer chuckled nervously, trying to regain his composure. “I guess it’s a good thing that wasn’t there during my last physical,” he said, his voice tinged with playful embarrassment.

You threw your head back in a laugh, the sound filling the room. “You’re right, that would have made things a little awkward.”

“And now?” Spencer asked, his voice softening, a hint of shyness creeping in as he looked at you with a mix of anticipation and curiosity.

“Now…” you murmured, dragging a finger down his chest, feeling the way his breath hitched at your touch. “You should get off your leg; you’ve been standing for a while.”

Spencer couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of disappointment at the change in direction, but he knew you were right. “Right, yeah,” he agreed, using his cane to walk over to the table and sitting down carefully. “Can you bring me my coffee, please?”

You smiled, taking in how sweet he looked as he tried to hide his disappointment. “Hmm, in a minute,” you replied, your voice holding a hint of something more.

Before Spencer could process what was happening, you were lowering yourself to your knees between his spread legs, your hands gently rubbing his thighs. The careful, tender way you touched him made his heart race, and he found himself holding his breath, unsure of what to say or do.

You were generously careful not to put too much pressure on his bad leg, your touch light but purposeful. Spencer’s pulse quickened, the intimacy and tenderness in your actions overwhelming in the best way possible.

“Y/N…” Spencer breathed, his voice full of awe and desire as he looked down at you, his heart pounding in his chest. 

You met his gaze, your eyes filled with warmth and affection as you asked softly, “Is this okay, doctor?”

Spencer’s breath hitched, and he swallowed hard before admitting, “I’ve never done this before.”

You nodded, your voice gentle and reassuring as you pressed a soft kiss to his knee. “I know, I know,” you whispered, giving him the space to decide. “Do you want to? We can stop right now, no pressure.”

His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, overwhelmed by the care in your voice and the sensation of your lips on him. “I want to so badly,” he finally breathed out, his voice shaky with desire. “If you stop right now, I might cry.”

“Mmm,” you hummed with a playful smile, “you’d make a pretty crier.”

Spencer’s eyes snapped open, and he felt a sudden rush of heat in his stomach at your words, the unexpected compliment sending a thrill through him. “Jesus, Y/N,” he murmured, his voice filled with surprise and longing.

“Can you lift your hips, lover boy, or do you need to stand?” you asked, your voice light with teasing affection.

Spencer hesitated for a moment before admitting, “I think I need to stand…”

“Get up then,” you instructed, a playful glint in your eyes.

As Spencer stood up, you couldn’t resist giving his butt a gentle smack. The action made him gasp, and he turned to playfully glare at you, his eyes wide with surprise. “What has gotten into you this morning?” he asked, amusement and bewilderment in his voice.

You grinned like a devil, your expression full of mischief. “Nothing yet,” you replied, your tone suggestive and lighthearted, leaving Spencer both flustered and intrigued.

His mouth opened and closed for a moment, caught off guard by your boldness. But he couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, the warmth in his chest growing as he realized just how much he enjoyed this playful side of you.

You pulled down his sweats slowly, your fingers brushing against his skin as you went, and you couldn’t resist placing soft kisses along the newly exposed flesh. As the fabric fell away, you realized there was nothing underneath, just bare skin.

“You sleep commando, Doctor?” you asked with a teasing lilt in your voice, raising an eyebrow as you looked up at him.

Spencer’s face flushed a deep shade of red, clearly embarrassed. “I had been drinking,” he stammered, trying to explain away the situation.

“Mhm,” you hummed, your lips curving into a playful smile as you continued your gentle ministrations, enjoying the effect you had on him. The sight of his blush only made the moment sweeter, knowing that he was letting you in, vulnerability and all.

Once the offending material was pooled around his ankles, you took Spencer’s hand, guiding him back to the seat with a gentle but firm touch. He followed your lead, his breath hitching as he sat back down, his eyes locked onto yours. The room seemed to hum with the tension between you, every movement deliberate and charged with anticipation.

“This is so unsanitary,” he muttered, a flicker of his usual nervousness cutting through the haze of desire.

You paused, a small smile playing on your lips as you looked up at him, your fingers still resting lightly on his thigh. “Do you want to stop?” you asked, your voice low and steady, giving him every opportunity to back out if he felt uncomfortable.

“God, no,” Spencer breathed, the words escaping him before he could even think. His eyes were wide, pupils dilated with longing and vulnerability, and you could tell that despite his nerves, he was fully present, fully committed to whatever came next.

With that reassurance, you leaned in closer, making sure to hold his gaze as your hand traveled up his thigh. The connection between you was electric, each second stretched out, full of unspoken promises. You kept your eyes locked on his as you slowly lowered your mouth, the heat of your breath teasing his skin.

Spencer’s breath hitched again, his hand instinctively tightening its grip on the edge of the chair. The vulnerability in his gaze was matched by the trust he was placing in you, and you could feel the weight of that trust in the air between you. 

You moved deliberately, never breaking eye contact, letting him see every intention behind your actions. As your lips brushed against his skin, you could feel the shiver that ran through him, the way his muscles tensed in anticipation.

And then, with a slow, deliberate motion, you pressed a kiss to his head, your touch soft but charged with all the emotion that had been building between you. Spencer’s breath caught, his body responding immediately to the intimate contact. His eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment before he forced them open again, wanting to see everything, to remember every second of this moment.

The sensation was overwhelming for Spencer, a powerful blend of pleasure and intimacy that he had never experienced before. The way your tongue traced patterns up his cock before your lips sucked him down sent Spencer spiraling. His mind, usually so sharp and focused, was spinning, struggling to keep up with the flood of emotions and sensations coursing through his body.

He couldn’t help the deep whine that escaped his lips, his breath hitching as he felt your lips move against his skin. The feeling of your tongue swirling around his head when you pulled up while your hand kept the pace was so intensely real. He had read about intimacy, studied the science of it, but nothing could have prepared him for the actual experience, the way it felt to be so completely vulnerable and yet so utterly safe.

His thoughts raced, a thousand ideas and feelings swirling in his mind, but they all came back to one simple truth: he wanted this. He wanted you. More than he had ever wanted anything in his life. The logical part of his brain was still trying to process it all, trying to make sense of the overwhelming flood of sensations, but the emotional part of him had already surrendered, fully immersed in the moment.

“Y/N…” he breathed, his voice trembling slightly with the weight of everything he was feeling. He wanted to say more, to express how much this meant to him, how much you meant to him, but the words seemed to get stuck in his throat. 

You looked up at him, your eyes full of mischief and your lips stretched around his girth as you bobbed your head. You could see how much this was affecting him, how deeply it was resonating within him. You held his gaze, your touch firm and stimulating, letting him know that he didn’t have to say anything—he just had to feel.

And feel he did. Every nerve in his body seemed to be on high alert, each one attuned to your touch, to the way your hand moved with your mouth, the way your tongue pressed against his skin. It was intoxicating, overwhelming in the best possible way, and he found himself leaning into it, letting go of the need to analyze or understand, and simply allowing himself to experience.

“Y/N…” he said again, his voice louder this time as the pleasure built to an almost unbearable peak, Spencer’s mind went blissfully blank. There was nothing but the sensation, nothing but your mouth and hand on his cock. Licking, slurping, rubbing. 

Spencer let out one final cry before he was filling your mouth with his warm, salty cum. You hummed around him in appreciation, the vibrations making him whine pitifully. Spencer thought it was over when you pulled off, but then you stuck your tongue out, showing him his milky release sitting there before you closed your mouth and swallowed. 

“You’re insane, woman,” Spencer whispered, his voice still shaky from the intensity of what he had just experienced. His chest rose and fell as he tried to catch his breath, his mind reeling from the sensations still echoing through his body.

You grinned up at him, your eyes sparkling with mischief and affection. “I’m your insane woman,” you replied, your tone playful yet filled with a warmth that made Spencer’s heart swell.

He couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips, the combination of your words and the aftermath of what you’d just shared making him feel like he was floating. “That you are,” he murmured, his hand reaching out to gently brush a stray lock of hair from your face. 

There was something about the way you looked at him, something that made him feel more grounded, more connected than he ever had before. It wasn’t just the physical connection, though that was incredible—it was the emotional bond that had deepened between you, the way you seemed to understand him on a level no one else ever had.

Spencer chuckled softly, still processing everything. “I don’t know how I got so lucky,” he said, his voice filled with sincerity. 

You leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, the gesture full of affection and promise. “We’re both lucky,” you whispered against his lips, and in that moment, Spencer knew it was true.

There was no rush, no pressure. Just the two of you, together, in a moment that felt like it was just the beginning of something even more beautiful.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[ballerinainskzville]

Let me take care of you - Bangchan one shot

Summary: your husband, Bangchan, is taking care of you, six months pregnant with your first baby daughter

TW: anxiety

Enjoy!

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

Bangchan whispered as his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips.

“Let me think… since we got together, in your wedding vow, every day before you leave work and before we go to sleep but it wouldn’t hurt to hear it again”, you smiled and nipped a kiss from his cheek.

“Oh, I was referring to the little wolf”, your husband placed his hand on your swollen, 6-month pregnant belly.

Annoyed, you pushed his hand away from your belly to which he only laughed. “Babyyyy, I’m only joking. You know I meant you~”, Bangchan laughed and leaned in to pepper your cheek with kisses. “Hmm”, you only replied to make him feel guilty. You knew your husband, so it would take him less than a minute to start panicking if he made you truly upset.

“Y/N, are you upset? Did I upset you? I was joking, you know how much I love you. I’ll remind you that I love you every minute for the rest of my-“, he stumbled over his words, his hand holding onto yours, both of your weddings rings close to each other. You couldn’t keep your serious face on longer and began to laugh, blowing your cover. When you turned your head to look at your husband again, Bangchan was glancing between your eyes. “You’re not upset?”, he asked to be certain.

“Oh Channie, you’re so easy to fool sometimes”, you laughed and leaned in to peck his lips.

“Yeah, whatever”, he laughed softly and pecked your lips again. Again. And again. Bangchan’s love language had always been physical touch and he could barely keep his hands off you since you two got together. The cuddles, kisses, and intimacy in all sorts of ways increased whenever he had been gone for days due to the schedule of his group activities. Making up for the missing chances, he’d say.

And since you had become pregnant, you two had been bound by the hip. You always wanted to become a mother but along with the other pregnancy symptoms you had been experiencing, increased anxiety was the constant shadow that looked over your shoulder. And your husband Bangchan knew how to calm you down the best: with his presence, words, and touches. He had suggested you get back in touch with your therapist in case something bigger was weighing on your heart but you assured him every time it was the hormones and fear of starting a new chapter in life, of the responsibility of having a child that unraveled you as much as you looked forward to it. And he’d promise you every time that he’d help you out as much as he can and how lucky he was for having you as his wife and partner for eternity.

“Is she sleeping?”, he asked as he caressed your thigh through your leggings. Your old clothes didn’t fit anymore so you began to opt for leggings and the shirts of Bangchan whenever you were home. “No, she’s having a full blast inside there”, you told him with a chuckle and he moved his hand up, rubbing your belly. “Slow down, little wolf. We don’t want to hurt mommy, do we?”, he talked to your belly, lifting your black, or his black, shirt to press a kiss on your belly. Your skin tingled a little and you watched Bangchan. You were sensitive towards people touching your pregnant belly, especially without consent. Your husband was the only person who made you feel good when he did. And your daughter seemed to enjoy the presence and touch of her father too. “You’re going to be an amazing father. You already are”, you said while your hand caressed Chan’s dark waves. “And you’re going to be an amazing mother. The love of my life”, he looked up at you with shimmering eyes. Your hand cupped his cheek and he nuzzled it.

Bangchan was a very caring person towards people he loved and he didn’t easily show his more vulnerable side to anyone. You taking care of him and making him feel being taken care of was a hard journey for him to learn to accept and come to terms with. Which, since he did, lessened his disability of falling asleep and stress.

“Uh, I need to pee-“you groaned and pulled your hand back. Bangchan immediately stood up, holding both hands to help you stand up. “Channie, I can still move on my own-“you laughed and began walking towards the hallway, your hand supporting your lower back. “Are you in pain? Is your back hurting, baby?” he asked concernedly. “Not more than it did yesterday!” you shout from the hallway—his head peaks from the doorframe. “Then let me massage you before the food arrives? I hate seeing you in pain. It hurts me to see you suffer.”

“I know, Channie. You’d carry the child for me if you could”, you chuckled and entered the bathroom.

“Yes, I would!”, he shouted from the living room.

[toasttt11]

hair

May 23, 2025

Kensington has been back home in Michigan for almost two weeks now and Will had just come a few days ago and Ryan and Gabe were joining in a few days.

Kensington could feel her self slowly healing not only physically but mentally, she spent a lot of her days doing physical therapy and going to therapy as well.

She didn’t realize how much of a break she needed from hockey and she had a feeling she’s going to love the sport even more when she gets back on the ice but for now she’s okay being off the ice for a few months.

Kensington was still holding onto quite a bit of guilt over everything that happen the last season and she just can not seem to be able to let some things go, her therapist suggest a change to have a fresh start.

Kensington used her crutches coming out of her appointment to the car where her mom was waiting for her.

Kensington slowly sat down in the passenger seat, “Hi Mama.” She kissed her mom’s cheek.

“Hi sweetheart how did everything go?” Elena smiled softly loving how her daughter seems to becoming more and more herself.

“Good.” Kensington nodded and looked at her mother, “Do you have anything to do now?”

“No i’m free why?” Ellen asked as she started the car and pulled out of the parking spot.

“I uh was wondering if you could take me to the hair salon?” Kensington softly asked.

“You want to cut your hair?” Ellen questioned surprised as her daughter as always loved her long hair.

“I want a fresh start.” Kensington smiled at her mother.

“Ok.” Ellen smiled back quickly agreeing and driving to the salon they go to instead of going straight home.

Ellen parked the car in front of the salon and got out of the car, Kensington followed behind her mother using her crutches.

Ellen got Kensington all signed in with a stylist and let one of the employees guide Kensington to one of the salon chairs so she could sit down.

“Hi, I’m Tori.” A younger woman with bright red hair came over shaking Kensington’s hand.

“Kensington.” Kensington introduced herself smiling.

“So what are we doing with your hair today.” Tori asked as she touched Kensington’s hair.

“Chop it all off.” Kensington bluntly said with an excited smile.

“All of it.” Tori asked and Kensington gestured to right by her ears, “Okay let’s wash your hair and then we can get started.”

Kensington nodded and crunched her way over to the sink bowls and sat down leaning her head back and closed her eyes relaxing as she got her hair washed.

Kensington got back up after she got her hair washed and went back to the other chair and sat back down.

She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her hair being cut off and she could literally feel the weight coming off as her hair continued to be cut.

“Okay all done.” Tori told her with a smile.

Kensington opened her eyes and a smile spread across her face as she saw her hair and she lifted her hand up feeling how light her hair feels now.

Her therapist was right. It felt like she got rid of so much bad memories and feelings.

Kensington thanked the hair stylist and crutched her way out to the waiting room where her mom is waiting.

Ellen looked up at the sound of crutches and gasped seeing her hair, “Oh my it looks so beautiful.” Ellen smiled as she stood up and gently touched her daughter’s hair.

Kensington giddy smiled at her mom and Ellen softened seeing her daughter become a little more herself again.

They got back into the car and headed back to home.

Ellen walked into the house first with Kensington behind her.

“Was everything okay?” Jim asked in concern when Ellen walked in and Kensington stayed outside the living room and they were back over a hour later than usual form therapy so it concerned the boys.

“Evening is fine.” Ellen reassured, “Kens has a surpise.” Ellen got the attention of the rest of the boys in the living room who were playing a video game together.

Kensington crutched into the living room seeing her dad, brothers and boyfriend all there and she grinned a little.

Will choked slightly as his eyes widen, he has always absolutely loved her long hair but he might change her short hair to his favorite.

Jack smiled getting up and walking over and gently touching her hair, “It looks very good K.”

“Thanks Jacky.” Kensington beamed.

“It suits you well.” Quinn softly complimented he thought the short hair looked very good on her.

“Not bad.” Luke smirked teasingly and Jack who was walking back to the couch smacked the back of Luke’s head making Kensington snicker.

Jim gave her an approving nod.

Jack teasingly nudged Will seeing him staring at Kensington with star eyes and his jaw half open.

Will shook his head snapping out of his day dream and got up and walked over to Kensington and saw her slighty nervous face for his reaction.

“I have a new favorite hair style of yours.” Will softly mused as he curled one of her short strands around his finger malign her beam happily at him with rosy cheeks.

Will leaned down pressing a soft and slow kiss to her cheek and softly mumbling to only her, “You look absolutely beautiful my gray.”

Kensington’s cheeks flashed darker and she hid her face against his shoulder feeling him chuckling.

Will chuckled fondly but brought Kensington over to the couch and helping her sit down slowly and setting her crutches onto the floor and and slipping her sandals off for her before plopping down onto the spot next to her.

Will wrapped an arm around her shoulder making her cuddle closer to him and rest her head on his chest.

“I love you.” Kensington softly mumbled to her boyfriend and best friend.

“I love you too.” Will smiled softly mumbling back kissing the top of her head as he gently rubbed her back.

[bobmckenzie]

No Words

word count: 1.8k blurb: Randall and Caitie find comfort in each other after another dangerous experiment, and their suppressed feelings can't be ignored any longer. cw: mentions of death

Randall was glad his dorm was between David’s and Cait’s apartment buildings, since it meant she was walking with him from David’s place. He didn’t want to be alone yet, not after another close call, and not after Nelson’s little explosion. 

The group hadn’t been strong to begin with; they’d been arguing since day one. But things were only getting worse, and Randall had to wonder if the Flatliners would splinter off naturally, or if someone would have to die to put an end to all the madness.

Through the eyes of a stranger, they may as well have been walking home alone. Neither he nor Cait said a word, the night quiet between them save for their footsteps against the pavement and the breeze rustling what was left of the autumn leaves. But there was something about having her there, even in silence, that just made it all easier to deal with. 

Despite how different they were and how much he had in common with the others, he was beginning to feel like she was the only one he could relate to. It was a relief, not being alone in his desire not to take the experiments any further—even if their protests meant nothing to the rest of the group.

Of course, beyond that, there was the attraction. Physical at first before they'd met, now stronger thanks to getting to know her gentle yet tenacious nature, and the mischievous little quips that would sometimes escape her.

His affections were undeniable, and the urge to touch her was constant. As they walked he yearned to take her hand in his, or wrap his arm around her waist to hold her against him. Of course, like always, he never acted on it—they made it to the doorway of the dormitory building without so much as a brush of their fingers.

Randall stepped up onto the porch, but Cait stayed on the sidewalk. 

“I'll see you,” she said, giving a smile that didn't meet her eyes.

He didn't want her to go yet. “Are you okay with all this?” he blurted. “With Rachel going under?”

She blinked, pausing for a second before pursing her lips. She shrugged, slowly coming up to join him in the doorway. “Does it matter? It's not my choice to make.”

“I can't stop thinking…” Randall trailed off, shaking his head. “I've got this terrible feeling, like I know that someone's going to end up dead.”

Caitie's expression fell, but it wasn’t just sympathy—he could see the understanding in her eyes, and knew she felt it too.

“I want to walk away, to just… just resign from the whole thing. I never should've agreed to any of it in the first place. If I stay, and someone dies, I will never forgive myself. But if I leave…”

He shrugged, swallowing over the lump in his throat. He looked out to the frosted-over dormitory lawn, too ashamed to keep holding her concerned gaze. He was dumping all this on her like she was some kind of therapist, like she'd have some infinite wisdom for him, when he knew she was just as scared and confused as he was.

He continued, unable to stop himself. “How could I forgive myself for that, either? I'll always know that if I'd’ve been there, maybe I could've done something.”

“Randall…”

The gentle sound of her voice made his gaze return to hers. She shook her head, a hand reaching out to rest against his arm in comfort—he swore he could feel the spark of her touch, even through the layers of shirt, cardigan, and the leathery sleeve of his coat.

“You're not responsible for any of us.” The breeze toyed with her hair as she spoke, making her bangs dance above those eyes that were as dark as the night itself. “Everyone knows what the risk is. We’re accountable for our own decisions.”

With a sigh, she gave his arm a squeeze before letting go. “Still… I've tried to talk Rachel out of it. But she's adamant. We got in a big fight over it, she told me I wouldn't possibly be able to understand. I guess she thinks about as highly of me as Nelson does.”

She let out a humorless laugh, and he felt his heart clench at the forced little smile she put on.

“I'm sure she didn't mean it like that.”

She couldn't have, could she? Nelson was always putting Cait down, not expecting her to grasp the intricacies of the experiments simply because she wasn't a medical student like the rest of them. Rachel was supposed to be her best friend—would she really stoop to such an insult, such a sore spot, just because Cait didn't want her to risk her life?

Randall scoffed, shaking his head. “Screw the rest of them. So you're not a doctor-to-be. As of tonight, I'm convinced you're the only other person in this group that has any brains at all.” 

The smile he got from her was worth all the stress, the danger. 

She looked down as she grinned, nudging her shoe playfully against his. He had to wonder if the flush on her cheeks was from the brisk night, or if the compliment really meant that much to her.

He ached to reach out, cup her face in his hands, and kiss her. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his coat pockets.

Her voice was soft when she spoke again, looking up at him through her lashes. “I guess I should get going.” There was a moment of hesitation before she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around him in a gentle hug. “I'm really glad you're not doing it.”

He couldn't speak to tell her the same, could only manage to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer. His eyes shut as he rested his chin against her shoulder, nuzzling against soft brown locks, losing himself in the faint amber of her fading perfume.

Had anything ever felt more comforting? Ever taken away worry and stress so quickly? Even the bitterness of the autumn night seemed to disappear, his body warming from the inside out simply by having her against him. 

He wanted, needed, more, could hardly bear the thought that this would be it, that this could be as close as they’d ever be. 

She was pulling away all too quickly, arms unraveling, the comfort leaving him inch by inch. He couldn’t think straight, couldn’t help himself—he kept his arms around her, meeting her eyes for only a second as she pulled back, just before testing the waters and following after her, his gaze drifting to her mouth as he brushed his nose with hers.

He could feel her breath catch as she stilled in his arms, hands clutching onto his shoulders. For a second, there was nothing but shaking breaths and pounding hearts—then she clumsily returned the gesture, nudging her nose against his, and his mind was gone.

His lips were on hers in an instant, needy and desperate—shivers raced up his spine, though he was hot now, oblivious to the chilled breeze scattering leaves around them. The gentle curve of her lips against his was intoxicating, a sensation that made him feel so strong and powerless all at once. 

He’d imagined kissing her a hundred times, but never thought the first one would hold so much intensity. He simply couldn't help himself. He deepened the kiss, head tilting, one hand raising to cup her face. She felt so delicate under his touch, her pulse thrumming under his fingertips, skin so soft.

Her hands gripped the collar of his jacket, tugging him closer, though there was no space left between them. The knowledge that she was feeling it too, needing him just the same, made him gasp and step forward, guiding her so her back was against the doorway and his body was nestled against hers. 

There was no holding back now. His lips met hers with a hunger he’d never felt before, something so deep and all consuming it was impossible to imagine that there were more intense feelings in the world—and yet he knew if there were, he’d only find them with her.

Cait’s hands moved up to his neck, snaking into his hair, gently tugging. It was all he could do not to whine at the sensation—her touch was enough to drive a man to madness.

The sound of a throat being cleared made them flinch apart, dazed and heavy-lidded, panting as they turned to see a woman shifting her bag on her shoulder, waiting to get inside. They both mumbled out apologies as they separated to opposite sides of the door, letting her pass. 

Randall could feel the deep blush on his face, nerves settling into every part of his body as he mustered the courage to look at Cait again. Her own cheeks were dusted with red, but to his relief, her lips were curving into a smile.

She took a deep breath, running a hand through her hair. Was she as lost for words as he was?

He hadn’t meant to kiss her. He had plans, after all, plans that didn’t involve romance or dating or anything other than finishing med school and getting a start on his career. He’d been trying so hard to pretend his feelings would go away—so much for that. He’d be lucky if he could think of anything else for the rest of his life.

“It’s late,” she said softly, still smiling, too shy to hold his gaze for very long. “You should get some sleep.”

He nodded. The sun would be up in a few hours, and his first class of the day would start not long after.

Was that it, he wondered, was that all it would ever be? Just a sudden kiss in the dormitory doorway, never to be spoken of again?

Then she stepped forward, placing a hand on his shoulder to keep her balance as she lifted onto her toes, leaving a gentle kiss against his cheek. The cold metal of her glasses brushed against his skin, but he barely felt it, too wrapped up in the warmth of her lips and the scent of her perfume all over again.

She stepped back, letting her hand fall from his shoulder. “Night.”

“Goodnight,” he managed to say, voice a little hoarse.

He wasn't half as smart as she thought he was, or he would've asked her not to go. But he watched her walk away in silence, unable to get the words out.

When she was out of sight, he let himself inside. As he started upstairs, his hands reached instinctively for the tape recorder in his pocket, ready to ramble about the new experience, to preserve the memory of the moment he’d longed for for what felt like forever. 

Stopping on the landing, the staircase empty, he brought the recorder up to speak, still-trembling finger hovering over the button as he waited for the prose to come to mind. Seconds passed, and with a barely-there laugh, he returned it to his pocket.

For once, there were no words. They couldn’t even begin to cover it.

[theladybarnes]

INEVITABILITY: CHAPTER ONE

“I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.”

▸ summary: life takes a turn again, when an old friend brings bad news ▸ characters: tony stark, peter parker, bruce banner, stephen strange, wong ft. former avengers ▸ word count: 7.5k         ▸ warnings: angst, canon violence,  ▸ series masterlist

FEBRUARY (2017)

 The light sound of Tony’s foot tapping against the wood of the coffee table was the only noise in the room that morning. For about twenty minutes the two of you had come to a stand still in the conversation that turned suddenly heated. 

 Dr. Daniels sat across from the two of you, pen writing rapidly onto her pad as she analyzed the two of you. 

 It was about a month into the new year that Pepper demanded the two of you rip off the band-aids and go see a therapist together. At first, she attempted for you both to go separately but Tony suggested this was a family problem that should be dealt with as a family. Little did he know you’d both have completely different opinions on the matter. 

 “So, Mr. Stark. If I may just reiterate what you’ve said. You believe that your sister should move on, correct?”

 Tony’s foot stopped tapping against the leg of the coffee table to look over at the doctor. A simple nod was all he gave in reply. Holding his tongue as to not be the first to break the silence. 

 “And by moving on, you want her to forget her feelings and reservations for her friend, and ex boyfriend.”

 Again he nodded. And while you hated to be the one to break the silence first, you couldn’t stand by to hear this nonsense again.

 “I think what Tony is forgetting is that I am not one of his AI projects and actually have feelings.”

 Dr. Daniels looked over to you, nodding her head for you to go on. 

 “I want to move on from Siberia as much as he does. God, I really do.” you sighed, looking down at your lap. “Not a day goes by where I’m not haunted by that fight.” There’s a little restriction on how much information you’ve both given her. But it’s enough so that she knows things turned physical. “But what he did Tony..”

 “It's unforgivable.” Tony spat suddenly. He must have been building up again in his silence, leaning forward on his knees to cover his face with his hands. “What he did was the worst thing any stupid boyfriend could do. And you want to forgive him?”

 “But it wasn’t him! We’ve been through this a thousand times!” you cried out, turning your body to face him again. “How can we blame him for something that was out of his control? There was no choice for him. He was..trapped.”

 Tony scoffed at that, shaking his head at you as he continued to look away. “He was trapped for how long until your other ex boyfriend triggered his freedom? And what, he didn’t remember murdering dear Ma and Pa whenever you two were together. You know, you the daughter of said murdered couple?”

 “Mr. Stark, it’s unfair for you to use that knowledge against her when she was unaware of the situation.” Dr. Daniels tried to explain. But Tony simply held a hand up, stopping that train of thought. 

 “I’m not blaming her, Doc. As always, the blame always falls back to them.” He glanced at you for the first time since you two came, a small frown tugged at his face. “These two men used her love and innocence and just..betrayed her. My own colleague, my f-friend..he lied to me too.”

 You reached a hand out to rest against Tony’s arm. Feeling the familiar ache in your chest come back from before. In a way, he was right about the betrayal. But no matter how hard you tried to hate on either man, you couldn’t.

 “Be honest, Tony..would we have ever reacted normally to this?”

 He brought a hand up to rub against his beard, scratching at his cheek for a moment as he contemplated the answer. “No.” he concluded. “But it wouldn’t have hurt as much if he actually told me. If he had the damn balls to talk to me instead of Baron Von Asshole displaying that damn video.”

 “Video?” Dr. Daniels asked.

 “Confidential.” you both said at the same time. Despite it being judgment free, there were some things you couldn’t be descriptive about. 

 Focusing back at the conversation, you tried to sympathize with your brother. In a way, it was always going to be easier for you to lean into forgiving. While that reason was because of HYDRA, it still was a fact. Tony, on the other hand, knew them. He was raised by them and it meant something more. 

 “I want to move on..but I want to do all that with him..” you admitted softly. “Romania was the first time in a long time I truly felt..happy.”

 Tony sighed, not happy to hear that from you. But you continued on anyway. 

 “I know that if we could just talk to him and give him the chance to speak that maybe..maybe we might feel better about it all.” You sighed, feeling the tears prick at your cheeks. “We just attacked him and..God, I can’t get his face out of my head.” 

 You don’t have to look up to know both people are looking at you right now. 

 “..what face?” Tony asked warily. 

 “The face he made when I said I wasn’t going to find him again..it was always our safeguard.” Glancing over to Tony, you feel your bottom lip quiver. “It was a reassurance that I’d find him..even if he was gone up here.” You said pointing to the side of your head. “I wouldn’t give up and bring him back. And I just..I just told him no..”

 “Ms. Stark, you can blame yourself for cutting off that connection.” Dr. Daniels said, leaning forward. “In that moment, you said what you needed to say in order to protect yourself. In fact, I’d say it was also a way of standing your ground.” 

 “Protect myself from what? It only broke his heart.”

 “It protected your own heart, I’m afraid.”

 Tony gave a soft gasp, putting his face into his hands as he realized something on his own. The two of you look at each other worried before going back to Tony. 

 “Anything you’d like to share with the class, Tony?” You asked, poking at his arm. 

 He slowly pulled his hands away from his face. Looking a lot more tired than before. “You love the son of a bitch, don’t you?”

 The room turned completely silent. You find the words almost trapped in your throat. But you nod anyway, taking a small breath before speaking again. 

 “Yes, I love him.” 

 Instead of getting angry, Tony looks defeated. Like when one of the teams he was rooting for failed during baseball season. 

 “Let’s end on that note today. You guys covered a lot. You should get some rest.” 

 The two of you didn't move as she quickly gathered her files together. Only staring at each other as you both took in the recent confession. “I’d ask for you two to make up in other ways until our next session. But considering how stubborn you both are, I know there’s a chance you might continue the conversation when I leave.” Dr. Daniels said as she took her bag from the floor. “So I ask that you both remember each other’s feelings are valid, and just because one feels a certain way doesn’t mean they’re the bad guy. You’re both dealing with a brand new loss. You have to be there for one another.” 

 Her parting words are ignored as you focus on what she said. Dealing with a brand new loss. Was that what it was for you and Bucky now? A loss? Would this be a new thing in your life you have to recover from? Without him? 

 Tony was thankfully the one who was able to walk the therapist out. Giving her a small warning about confidentiality before closing the door. It was only until he stood by the doorway of the room that you picked your head up. Meeting his sad gaze. 

 “Is my life always gonna be full of losses?” You asked softly.

 The words made Tony visibly cringe. He quickly shook it off, moving to sit on the chair the therapist was so that he could look over at you better. “It doesn’t have to be.”

 “But how? E-even if we both wanted to make up with him..with everyone. They’re all gone.” You whimpered, feeling the familiar ache in your chest. “All my friends..Bucky..they’re gone. And I have to just accept that I’ve lost them?”

 Tony reached out to wipe at your face. Pushing away the tears you didn’t even realize were coming down. “I’m sorry, I wish..I wish I knew what to say.” 

 “Say that we can look for them..that we’ll find them and help fix this mess we all made!”

 “We? When did it turn into all of us when Steve decided to- Look, I’m done going in circles, Sprout.” Tony said, rubbing his temples. “Even if I wanted to, which I don’t know right now, Rogers and the rest of them made up their minds. I would have fought for your other friends but..they ran off. There’s not much I can do after that.” 

 You’re about to open your mouth when the sound of FRIDAY’s voice cuts in. 

 “Boss, Ms. Potts is waiting for the two of you at the main entrance. She says to remind you of your dinner plans.” 

 With that reminder, the two of you quiet up. Grabbing your coats as you head out of the main office. “I’m sorry I can’t understand how you feel, kid. Believe me. I want to.” Tony said once you two were in the elevator. “Give me time..I just..I need time.” 

 Nodding your head, you reached out and pulled your brother in your arms for a tight hug. 

 “I think time is all we have now..” you sighed, pulling away from him. The doors opened up revealing the main floor. Pepper greets the two of you happily and you pull on a brave face. Trying to keep your thoughts from going crazy. All while missing a pair of worried eyes watching you. 

 APRIL (2018)

 “Oh my God, did you see the recent CapWatch on twitter?”

 “No! I was busy all morning. What’s the update?”

 You keep your face down, staring down on the floor while you wait for the light to change. The two teens before you don’t seem to be aware of the volume of their voices. 

 “Well, just last week there were rumors of him in a pub somewhere in France. But the man looked too grizzly, and apparently only spoke French.”

 “That’s crazy! I mean, what if it’s him and they totally missed out on checking.”

 The light finally changed and to your dismay, the two girls kept going in the same direction towards your apartment. Making you frown a bit. You attempted to go around them, but with the sidewalk so crowded in the early afternoon, you can’t find a way to squeeze in.

 “Even if someone did find him, what exactly are they gonna do?”

 “Totally, it’s not like anyone would want to be the one to turn in Captain America.”

 The two girls turned down the street, leaving you to your thoughts as you made your way home. Pulling out your phone, you can’t help but open up your internet, typing in the current search you just learned about. 

 It’s been months and you’ve convinced yourself over and over again that you don’t need to search for them. For Bucky, Steve, all your friends. Because if you gave into that urge even for a second you knew it’d only end in pain.

 This was life now. You’d go out, act like a regular citizen, and go home.There was the irregular nights where you’d join your family for dinner. Or meet up secretly with Peter and see what it’s like to patrol the streets of New York (from a safe distance of course). But other than that, you would spend nights numbing the pain with wine, movies, and new security software that Tony requested you make for the compound. Never mind the fact that you could hardly step into the compound without feeling emotional. 

 This was life now, and you weren’t sure you were mentally ready to accept that. 

 Turning down the block of your street, you sighed as you walked up the familiar steps to your town house. The sound of your phone ringing kept going off in your pocket, making you grumble as you pushed in the number code for your door lock. 

 It was most likely Tony again. Wanting to call to check in or talk about the wedding or some weird dream he had recently. But with your head all out of wack, you choose to ignore it as you push inside your home. You had just closed the door behind you when a bright orange light shined into the room. 

 A small electrifying circle formed right in front of you before it opened up, revealing what looked like a giant portal in the middle of your foyer. 

 “What the hell!?” you gasped, frozen in place.

 A tall man with a perfectly trimmed beard stepped through the portal, holding his hands up as he gave you a tight lipped smile. “Ms.Stark.” he started, looking around your home briefly. “I’m here to- '' you don’t give him the chance to finish his sentence before you activate the band on your wrist, dragging the nanobots over your hand to create the gauntlet you always kept on you. 

 “Whoa!” he called out. The tip of his finger sparked up and you noticed a magical glow came to them. “I’m not here to hurt you!”

 “Chill out, Sprout.” called out a familiar voice. From the other side of the portal, Tony stuck his head out for you to see. “Merlin is with me.”

 You lower your weapon, pressing the wrist of the glove to retract the nanobots back into the regular wrist band. “What the hell is this?” you sighed, relieved that the danger was gone. “Who’s this guy?”

 “My name is Stephen Strange.” 

 You can’t help but chuckle at the name for a second. The man only looked exasperated at your reaction. A clear sign of annoyance on his face. 

 “Wait, you’re serious? That’s your name?”

 “We don’t have time for this.” He waved his hand over, sliding the portal past you until you were suddenly in a whole other room. It reminded you of a museum you had used to visit back in your childhood. Smelled like it too.

 “Where are we?”

 “You are at Sanctum Sanctorum, Miss Stark.” said an older voice. A man with a shaved head and stout body slowly stepped forward, bowing his head a bit in a quick greeting. “I’m afraid we have some grave news for you and your brother.”

 Tony stepped close to you, pulling you close to his side. 

 “What’s happened?” you asked softly.

 “Thanos is coming. And we need all the help we can get to stop him.”

 Bruce emerged out from behind Stephen, looking at you with a small smile. You pulled away from Tony to rush over and give him a hug. Happy to see his face after all this time. But the happiness is short lived, and you pull back enough to look at him worried.

 “Who is Thanos?”

  The group discusses the origin of the infinity stones, all having different powers, and origins. You can’t help but notice that there are a few that this group has come across before. But this power, this threat, felt so much beyond anything you guys were used to. 

 Now Thor is gone. Taken from you all without so much as a real goodbye. Everyone close to you seemed to suffer the same fate of leaving and you feel desperate to hold onto those you have left.

 How were you just previous fighting each other and now have the possibility of fighting a super titan from across the universe?

 “Tell me his name again.”

 “Thanos.” Bruce repeated, stepping towards where you stood and Tony paced. “He’s a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki.” Tony became frozen. Hearing the name of an old enemy again. “The attack on New York, that’s him.”

 “..This is it.” he whispered. You can’t help but frown in confusion. “What’s our timeline?” he asked shortly after.

 “No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones. That already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony..”

 “He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of.” Stephen included.

 Tony reached out for a vase before him, using it to stretch out his hamstring while he responded to Stephen. In his sardonic fashion of course. “Did you seriously just say hitherto undreamt of?”

 “Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?”

 Now you can’t help but step forward, confused by the vases’ grand title. The cap draped around Stephen’s shoulders lifted up and slapped Tony. Causing him to stumble forward a bit while you took in the fact that this man’s cape just moved on its own accord.

 Tony looked a bit shocked, looking over at the man before he calmly became reserved again. “I’m going to allow that.” He said, before a thought came to mind. “If Thanos needs all six, why don’t we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?”

 “No can do.” 

 “We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives.” said the other male whom you found out was simply named Wong.  

 “And I swore off dairy.” Tony volleyed. “But then Ben & Jerry’s named a flavor after me. So.”

 “Stark Raving Hazelnuts.” Stephen mumbled, sounding even more irritated.

 “Not bad.” Tony shrugged.

 “A bit chalky.” 

 Wong shook his head quickly. “A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite.”

 Bruce gaped over at that, already becoming more fidgety about the situation. “That’s a thing?”

 “Whatever,” Tony said, bringing the focus back to him. “Point is, things change.”

 “Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change.” Stephen said simply. “And this stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos.”

 “Yeah, so conversely, it may also be his best chance against us.”

 You can’t help but snort, feeling the emotions suddenly hit you. The two men snapped their gazes in your direction. “So, you’re here with us.” Stephen said sarcastically. “Care to enlighten us with your views? I’m sure the other Stark, has one.”

 You’re trying to hold back the real anger coming in. The one that hit you when Bruce revealed Thor's death. It was another loss in your life. You just couldn’t believe that someone as powerful as Thor was gone because of this Thanos. 

 Crossing your arms, you move past Bruce to stand by Tony. He catches your eyes, giving you a knowing look before you face Stephen. “Well, for starters, Raspberry Thorbet is the superior flavor.” you shrugged. “And I think Tony is right.”

 The taller man scoffed a bit, raising a brow at you. “Seriously?”

 “What good is a sworn oath when he’s powerful enough to just take it?” You glanced over to the other wizard (sorcerer?). “If he has two stones powerful enough to wipe out half of the Asgardians. Some of the most valiant and powerful people. Then why the hell are we wasting our time giving him the chance to get another stone?!” Your chest is rising and you have to pinch at your arm secretly to keep from bursting like you want to. “Take out the damn probability before I have to lose another damn friend in this!”

 “That’s only if we don’t do our jobs.” Stephen countered, now irritated by you. 

 “What is your job exactly?” Tony asked. “I mean, besides making balloon animals.” 

 “Protecting your reality, douchebag.” 

 You can help but roll your eyes at the two. They’re oddly similar and two egos in one room is already far too much. Bruce, seeming to feel the same, stepped forward. 

 “Okay, guys. Could we table this discussion right now?” The two put off the stare down to turn to Bruce. “The fact is we have this stone. We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone and we have to find him now.”

 Tony glanced over at you with a winced look. All you could do is merely turn away from Bruce, trying to cover up the discomfort. This was going to be a lot to unpack for him in such a short amount of time.

 “Yeah, that’s the thing.” Tony started. 

 “What do you mean?”

 “Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder. He’s offline.” he shrugged, arms crossed over his chest. You remembered back to how upset Tony got. Unsure why Vision would cut all ties immediately and while you helped try and find him, you knew it wasn’t going to work. Not when Vision knew both your techniques well enough. 

 Vision didn’t want to be found. He did not want to come back home. And if that didn’t add salt to wounds..

 “What?!” Bruce asked, brows furrowed in the confusion. “Tony, you lost another super-bot?”

 “I didn’t lose him. He’s more than that. He’s evolving.”

 “Some parents would call it a rebellious phase.” you added, getting a small glare from Tony. Bruce ignored your words, following after your brother.

“Who could find Vision then?” asked Stephen as he attempted to bring back the situation into focus. But he was completely unaware of how much of a loaded question that was. There was a possibility that Vision had gone off to find Wanda. Something about their bond during their stay in the compound. But the only one who would have an idea of her whereabouts was the man that helped free her from the raft.

 “Shit.” Tony cursed under his breath. “..Probably Steve Rogers.”

 “Oh great.”

 “Maybe. But..” Tony dragged out, sighing a little bit in defeat.

 “Call him.” Bruce suggested.

 “It’s not that easy.” Bruce only stared over at Tony even more confused. “God, we haven’t caught up in a spell, have we?” he said, almost too casually.

 “No.” 

 “The Avengers broke up,” he said simply. “We’re toast.”

 “Broke up? Like a band? Like..like the Beatles?”

 You cover your tired face, not having the mental capacity to deal with another detouring conversation. 

 “Cap and I fell out hard. We’re not on speaking terms.” he said, shaking his head.

 Bruce turned to face your direction, holding his hands out confused. “Boyfriend? Or?”

 Shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Broke up with him a little after you and the green guy went AWOL.” 

 Bruce’s whole face fell, looking around the room incredulously before he returned back to the two of you. “Tony, listen to me.” he said, stepping closer. “Thor’s gone. Thanos is coming. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or not.”

 That  seemed like enough to convince Tony. Making him let out a sigh before he reached into his pants pocket. You followed after him, watching as he pulled out the flip phone he showed you just shy over a year ago. 

 “You carry that around with you in your pocket?” you whispered, slightly amused. 

 Tony closed his eyes, letting out a long exaggerated sigh. “I swear to God-”

Waving your hand, you step away and allow Tony to make the phone call. He’s about to press down on the keypad when a rumbling sound filled up the noise in the room. Tony turned around to face the rest of you. 

 “Say, Doc, you wouldn’t happen to be moving your hair, would ya?”

 “Not at the moment, no.”

 You follow his gaze to Strange’s head, noting that it was indeed moving on its own. In fact, the hair framing around your face began to move as well. Looking up, you stare up at the gaping hole in the roof of the building.

 “Someone’s here.” you whispered, ready for the worst.

 Stepping out on the outside proved you right. All around were strong winds and citizens of the city running away from one direction. Pushing on the button of your earring, you turn on the connection to FRIDAY. 

 “FRIDAY, connect me to Tony.” you yelled, helping pick up some of the people tripping over the debris. Already he was stalking off ahead of the group, trying to find the source of the commotion. 

 One turn around the corner has you coming face to face with the source of the noise. A large wheel-like shit was currently descending down to Earth. Causing the air to turn foggy and thick with its exhaust. You catch up with Tony, looking up at the beast of the machine.

 “FRIDAY, evac anyone south of 43rd Street.” Tony ordered. “Notify first responders.”

 “Will do.”

 A burst of orange glow waved past the two of you, going forward towards the ship in the sky. At first it didn’t seem like it did anything, but when the wind died down, you figured that Strange must have done something to stop it from dropping down further. 

 You took a glance at Tony and shared a look of strange amusement before turning back to the main problem. 

 The ship aimed a bright light down on the ground, beaming down two individuals. After all these years of fighting against Gods, Hydra, and murder robots. You shouldn’t be so surprised to figure out that Aliens would join the list of enemies now.

 The small group slowly walked over towards the two. You can’t help but take notice of their appearance. They were drastically in contrast to each other. But you focused your gaze on the smaller one who appeared to be the calmer of the two.

 “Hear me and rejoice.” started the thin one. “You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos.” The giant beside him barked out in agreement, adjusting the weapon in his hands. “Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing–”

 “I’M SORRY! EARTH IS CLOSED TODAY.” Tony yelled, thankfully interrupting the annoying creature’s speech. “You better pack it up and get outta here.”

 The gray creature moved his gaze over to Strange, ignoring Tony’s comments. “Stonekeeper,” he called out, getting Stephen’s attention. “Does this chattering animal speak for you?”

 “Certainly not. I speak for myself.” he answered, stepping up to the plate. He clapped his arms together, balling up his fists as the orange magic wrapped around his hands again. “You’re trespassing in this city and on this planet.” Wong behind you pumped his arms in the same way, ready for the fight.

 “He means get lost, Squidward.”

 “God,” you gasped under your breath. “That’s perfect.” you said to Tony. Glancing at your brother with an approving nod. He only gave a small smirk before he looked back to the two aliens.

 “He exhausts me. Bring me the stone.”

 The giant gave one hammer to the ground in response. Tapping at the bands on your hands, you pull the gauntlet over your hand, powering up as you readied yourself for the creature’s attack.

 “Banner, you want a piece?”

 “Mmm no, not really. But when do I ever get what I want?”

 “That’s right.”

 “Okay, push!” Bruce grunted. 

 “It’s been a while. It’s gonna be good to have you, buddy.” said Tony, unaware of the complete failure of a transformation happening behind him. 

 “Okay shh.” Bruce grunted, vein protruding from his neck as the green attempted to creep up on his skin. “Let me just..I need to concentrate here for a second.” The lack of action caused Tony to slowly turn around, eyeing his friend curiously. “Come on, man, come on.”

 “Where’s your guy?”

 “I don’t think he’s coming, Tony.” you muttered, raising your hands up as the fidgety creature began to step towards your direction.

 Bruce tried grunting back into Hulk mode again before he sighed. “I don’t know. We’ve sorta been having a thing.”

 “It’s performance issues!” you hissed, trying to hopefully piss Bruce off that the Hulk will come through.

 “Please don’t word it like that.” sighed your friend.

 “It’s no time for a thing.”

 “I know.”

 “That’s the thing right there. Let’s go.” Tony urged.

 No matter how hard Bruce cried and worked, there was no way for him to change into what you needed. Strange peered over from Tony’s other side. Looking at him with an astonished glare before Tony leaned forward. 

 “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”

 “Don’t make him feel bad, Tony! He’s trying his best.”

 “He’s barely even breaking chartreuse!”

 Bruce let out another grunt before turning to your brother. “Tony I’m sorry. Either I can’t or he won’t.”

 “It’s okay.” Tony assured him, placing his hands on Bruce’s shoulders. “Hey, stand down. You two keep an eye on him.” He caught your gaze before turning to Wong. Pushing Bruce closer to him. “Thank you.”

 You moved to stand in front of Bruce alongside Wong. “We have him.” Wong nodded.

 The large creature began to run now, gaining closer distance to the group. A small panic began to build up inside you, making you wish for more help. Tony pulled the straps to his chest, cinching up the trap suit as he activated the nanobots on his chest.

 The beast instantly set out on the attack, running even faster now as Tony pulled out the shield from his suit. Blocking the hit before he throws a solid punch to the creature’s jaw. It staggered him back enough that gave Tony a chance to activate his cluster canon that he recently added to the Mark L suit. 

 Its power sends the beast flying all the way back to its partner. 

 “Where did that come from?” Bruce exclaimed, shocked to see such power from one of Tony’s suits. 

 “It’s nanotech. You like it? A little something I-”

 The ground from beneath Tony shot up, sending your brother up in the air. “Tony!?” you yelled into your ear piece. “Are you okay?”

 “Shit, didn’t see that coming, kid. I’m okay.”

 The gray squid-man tore trees from the street way, shooting them over at the group. Wong instantly threw out his magic, putting up a solid glowing wall to stop them from reaching to where you guys stood. 

 “Doctor Banner, if the rest of your green friend won’t be joining us..” He held his hands up, opening a portal behind Bruce before allowing the man to fall down the circle. He nods at you. “Better help keep watch of him.” he pointed out. 

 Nodding your head, you jump through, landing hard on the half car that got torn off with Bruce when he fell in. The wind got pushed out of you a bit, but you were able to balance yourself before hopping off the car.

 “Are you okay?” you asked, helping Bruce off from the ground. He let out a small groan a bit before taking your hand. You wait until he’s settled before taking a look at where you guys were. “We’re at Washington Square park.” you observed, reaching for your phone. 

 Tapping at the screen, you activate the locator to Tony. Trying to figure out if he was able to return back to the fight. But barely links up for a second before Tony is sent flying into the park. Crashing into the root of a tree.

 The two of you quickly rushed over to his side.

 “Tony, you okay?” Bruce gasped. “How we doing? Good? Bad?”

 You rolled your eyes, wanting to point out it can’t be that great if he’s in the ground right now but you bite your tongue.

 “Really, really good.” He said, on the same page as you it would seem. “Do you plan on helping out?”

 “I’m trying. He won’t come out!”

 “Boss, you better move out the way.” said FRIDAY into your ear.

 “Hammer.” Tony said, pushing the two of you out of the way in time from the giant creature’s attack. The push sends the two of you over the ground, making you huff a bit as you hit your back against the ground. 

 Leaving Bruce to fight against a large tree branch, you climb back over the half of the car, aiming your repulsors over at the beast trying to attack Tony. “Shit, these two keep moving around too fast.” you hissed. 

 You only get one blast out at the creature before he’s sending Tony flying back in your direction. Hopping off, you rush over to try and shoot closer at the oncoming beast when a red blur lands before him.

 “Hey, man! What’s up, Mr. Stark?”

 Peter, or rather right now, Spider-Man, had come in the nick of time. 

 “Spider-Man!” you yelled, reaching out to help Tony up from the floor dragging him back a bit.

 “Oh, hey, Scout!”

 “Kid, where’d you come from?”

 “A field trip to MoMa!” yelled Peter as he was thrown across the park. Tony and you aim both your hands over to the boost, hitting him with a sonic blast before you dashed out of the way. With how fast this guy got back up, you couldn’t take your chances to shoot from the same spot.

 “What is this guy’s problem, guys?”

 “Uh, he’s from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.”

 You made a run over towards the heavier treelines, trying to get out of the path of the creature's hammer swing. “You know, on this nice day too.” you added in, aiming another sonic blast. It barely scorched the side of its large leg, giving Tony the chance to attack with another laser shot. But it simply reached for the half broken taxi cab and threw it in Tony’s direction. 

Peter was quick to grab it before it shot off too far and threw it back to hit against the beast. Sending it hard to the ground. 

 It scrambled up quickly, letting out a primal growl before he started to charge for Tony again. He’s about to swing down when you switch to the sonic boom, causing the creature to cry out at the pain to its ears and giving Tony a second to switch back to his shield. 

 It prepares for another throw down when a blurred object rushes between the two of them. You barely get a second to notice that it’s not just an object but Strange himself. 

 “Kid, that’s the wizard. Get on it.”

 “On it!” Peter yelled as he shot his web towards the light posts, shooting his body into the sky and after Strange. You switch it over to a flash attack, blinking the repulsor twice to get the creature to stagger back from his next hit. 

 “We gotta get this guy down!” you yelled, running to ambush from a new spot. “It’s gotta have some sort of weakness.”

 “Towards the statue,” Tony pointed. “Let’s rock his world.” 

 You rolled your eyes at the pun, dashing to run in front of the beast and get his attention into following you. Tony flies through the trees, coming around the back just in time to spring out in a surprise attack. You used your smaller height to quickly sneak out from under the creature’s legs. Rolling through them and over the grass until you were at a good distance again.

 “Uh, guys, I’m being beamed up.” Peter said, making you turn your neck towards the sky. From below you could spot the bright blue beam hitting down on the city again. 

 “Shit, it’s got Spider-Man!” you yelled.

 “Hang on, kid!” Tony yelled, hitting blasts enough that the creature took a swing at him. It’s not until he’s being hit with rocks that Tony mistakenly stays close, giving him the chance to grab hold of his body. He sent Tony back wrapped up in a claw like device. 

 “Shit!” you hissed, aiming your hands back up, running just a little behind the creature as he jumped up to send a stab down to where Tony laid. In the blink of an eye an orange portal opened up just before Tony, sending the creature down in what looked like a snowy land. 

 Wong and Bruce both come up now, the older man holding his hands up as he holds the spell that created the portal. Joining at their side, you peered down to see the giant get back up from the floor. Growling a bit as he looked up in the sky to the rest of you.

 Right as he’s about to jump back through the portal, Wong quickly closes up the seal. But not before one of the creature’s arms came through, being cut off instantly from the seal of the magic. 

 “Oh!” Bruce gasped, watching the limb bounce on the ground before he kicked it away from you guys. 

 You barely had time to register that when Tony pulled up from the ground. Tearing off the claw around him. “Wong, you’re invited to my wedding.” he said simply before shooting up in the sky. 

 “Tony, wait!” you called out, watching as his figure drifted further away from the city. Pulling out your phone, you connect with FRIDAY to ping to Tony’s location, watching as his locator was getting further away from the city.

 A familiar click ticks in your ear and you close your eyes. Bracing yourself for what you know he’s going to say.

 “Sprout..”

 “Tell me you’ll come back. You’ll grab the kid and get the hell out of there.”

 “It’s not just him, Sprout. They’ve got Strange. And if they have him then they have that stone.”

 You gripped at your phone tightly, feeling your heartbeat increase with worry. “Fuck, I’m not gonna be able to help you, Tony. FRIDAY won’t make it past the atmosphere.”

 “I know, kid..” it’s silent for a second before he spoke up again. “Get Rogers..tell him everything. Get everyone..anyone.”

 There’s a second of silence before you speak up again. “Be careful..okay?”

 “You too.”

 You wait for the click before turning to follow where Wong and Bruce were walking towards. Turning on your phone, you quickly shoot out a message to Rhodey, asking him to meet you at the compound. It’s not until you’re back towards the streets of the city again that you turn to find Wong opening up another portal.

 “Where you going?” Bruce asked, looking down at the dusty phone Tony had dropped.

 “The Time Stone’s been taken. The Sanctum remains unguarded. What will you two do?” he asked, after stepping inside. You glanced back to Bruce, watching him hold up the flip phone.

 “I’m gonna make a call.”

With a firm nod, Wong held up his hands and sealed the portal leaving the two of you alone in the abandoned street. Licking your lips, you glanced down at the phone screen. Frowning at the name of the contact as Bruce hesitantly pressed CALL.

  It’s been roughly towards an hour now that you sat hidden in one of the offices. Rhodey took the lead in communicating with some higher officials while you guys waited for the arrival of Steve. The nerves of seeing him again after so long made it nearly impossible for you to relax. Not to mention with total loss of contact with Tony, things were just running worse. 

 “Hey, kid. If this is too much..no one would blame you for joining Pepper back home.”

 You paused your pacing to look over at the doorway. Bruce had come through looking just as timid as ever. Quickly you waved him off, moving over to sit down on the desk chair. “We both know I’m not gonna do that.” you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest.

 “Do you uh, need to talk about it?”

 Smiling sadly, you look down at your lap as you mulled the suggestion over. “I thought you weren’t that kind of Doctor?” you asked, watching a smile tug on his face. 

 “No, but we can talk about it as friends.”

 “Bruce,.” 

 “I mean, only if you want to!”

 “There’s a lot that you missed out on.” you sighed, getting back up again. “Steve and I..we fought. And not just verbally. I tried..”

 “You tried?”

 “To shoot him..and his best friend..who I was dating at the time.”

 He let out a big huff, looking wide eyed at you. “That is a lot more than just talking it out.” You nodded in reply, looking a little bit pained at the sudden information Bruce needed to have. “Are you guys gonna be okay today?”

 “We’re gonna have to be.” An alert pinged on the computer and you tapped at the keys to activate the compound cameras. “What am I looking at FRI?”

 “Steve Rogers has just landed on the east hangar, Boss.”

 Clicking the cameras you watch as Steve stepped down from the quinjet runway, making your stomach turn a bit. “Let’s go greet our guests.” you mused, leading the two of you out of the room. The closer you got towards the labs the more you’re able to hear the remnants of Rhodey’s last conversation.

 Bruce is about to step out but you know better than for someone like Secretary Ross to see him, so you stand back, urging him to wait a minute.

 “If it weren’t for those Accords,” Rhodey said, sounding irritated. “Vision would’ve been right here.”

 “I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel.” Ross volleyed, sounding as annoying as ever. 

 “Accords? What Accords?” Bruce whispered, you held a hand shutting him up. It’d have to be another thing explained later to him.

 “That’s right. And I’m pretty sure I paid for that.”

 Your stomach dips as you recalled the events of that year. Rhodey’s accident continued to haunt you after everything. Even if he didn’t blame you, you knew that you were still part of the picture. 

 “You have second thoughts?” Ross asked.

 “Not anymore.”

 The sounds of heavy footsteps entering through the hall came in, and you felt yourself grow fidgety as you waited to hear the familiar voices again. 

 “Mr. Secretary.” 

 It’s been so long since you’ve heard the timbre in Steve’s voice. The last time he spoke to you really was with his confession. “You got some nerve. I’ll give you that.” Ross said, sounding displeased to see a former ally. 

 “You could use some of that right now.” 

 It’s Bruce’s turn to tense up now, and you can’t blame him. With Natasha being back too, well, it would open wounds for everyone. 

 “The world’s on fire. And you think all is forgiven?” Ross continued.

 “I’m not looking for forgiveness. And I’m way past asking permission.”

 You roll your eyes a bit, smiling at the very typical Steve Rogers reply. 

 “Earth just lost her best defender. So we’re here to fight.” Your chest tightened at the small reminder of Tony’s whereabouts. No one is able to locate or reach him and you know the worry is only going to get worse from here on out. But you’d hold out hope for as long as you could.

 “If you wanna stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.” Steve warned. 

 “Arrest them.” Ross said simply.

 “All over it.” Rhodey replied, sounding completely facetious. There’s a moment of silence before he spoke up again. “That’s a court-martial…It’s great to see you, Cap.”

 “You too, Rhodey.”

 “Wow, you guys..really look like crap. Must’ve been a rough couple years.”

 “Yeah, well, the hotels weren’t exactly five star.” said the voice you missed most of all. It has you pulling away from the wall and turning the corner. 

 “Didn’t you know? I put reservations under Ms. Stark’s Assistant.” you said softly, watching as the eyes of the room turned to look at you. A smile tugged quickly over Sam’s lips as he gave you a small nod. 

 “How many times do I have to remind you, Scout? I’m not your assistant.” he chuckled back, making your chest feel lighter.

 “Just one more time.”

 You note that Vision is leaning on his side, with a slightly battered Wanda holding his other. It’s not until you finally give your attention to the two blondes in the center of the room that you feel nervous again.

 “Uh, I think you look great.” said Bruce, joining at your side. The group is shocked again to see their old friend appear. You gauge Natasha’s reaction, seeing just how much her eyes sparkled to see Bruce.

 “Yeah, I’m back.” Bruce declared softly, trying to ease up some of the awkwardness that might have lingered since he followed you down into the lab. The two of you stay a few feet apart from the others. 

 “Hi Bruce.” Nat’s voice is calm and even. 

 “Nat..”

 No one really knows how to progress forward from their greeting. Well, almost no one.

 “This is awkward.” 

A/N: OK!!! It was definitely time to bring this back. I know there’s only like three people who might like this or even read this. And I hope they enjoy it. I still wanna finish out this story regardless of the little traction it gets. So please enjoy the mini chapters of Infinity War~

Tagging: @justanothermagicalsara​ - my loyal follower/reader 💖​

[scorbleeo]

TV Series Discussion: Sex Education

Season 4 (2023)

Source: Google Images

Insecure Otis has all the answers when it comes to sex advice, thanks to his therapist mother. So rebel Maeve proposes a school sex-therapy clinic.

Source: Netflix (2019)

Absolutely Brilliant

I'll be honest here, I started watching this season with expectations of disappointment only because I knew the one couple I was rooting for was not endgame. That being said, I had no idea what I was going to get from Sex Education's final season.

In this last season, we got some really good stories which ultimately led to great character growth. Some were simply briefly touched on, like Jean's postnatal depression, Jackson finding out the truth behind his sperm donor, Ruby finally figuring out her true identity (kind of), and Viv's experience with an abusive man.

Whereas some took practically the entire show (not just this season) to get an ending. Like Aimee finally being able to recover from her assault, or Cal's struggle to become who they truly were. We also had Otis realising what issues he had and how deep they were rooted. This season also showed us Maeve and exactly how thick the wall she built around herself truly was.

Some of these stories, I particularly enjoyed watching the characters learn and grow from them. Some, really annoyed me. For example, I was never in love with the idea of Maeve and Otis being endgame. As time went on, I just preferred them as friends instead of a couple. As friends, they brought out the good in each other. As a couple, it always felt like Maeve's just holding onto Otis's leash. And I hated how Otis forsaked anybody and everybody once Maeve was around. If you'd watched this season, you could see how bad of a friend, a son and a campaign party he was once Maeve was back in his life. I still don't like the idea of them being a couple but seeing how deep-rooted their individual issues were, it made sense why I always thought them together romantically was problematic but I am not opposed to them coming back together in the far future. Probably why Sex Education's finale struck a chord in my heart, one I did not expect to be struck. Way to go, ambiguous endings.

Now, Adam has been one of my favourite people in this show since he showed his vulnerable side which automatically meant Michael's not exactly likeable. Michael was a toxic father and husband, nobody can object to that. And when Adam told Michael off and finally articulated his unhappiness with his father, I was so proud of my dear boy. However, it's the part where Michael said he doesn't hate Adam, he hates himself. That part made me so happy because not only was Michael fully acknowledging he was a bad parent and husband, he also finally gave Adam clarity. My boy has struggled too much and although I hate that he is no longer with Eric, I am absolutely elated Adam's in such a better place both physically and mentally.

Which brings me to my favourite character growth in this season. Eric freaking Effiong. I never thought this person needed more development, then this season came and I was utterly proven wrong. However, it's his story that warmed my heart. I don't think enough people talk about what Eric was going through in season 4. It's something everybody knows, regardless of which side we're on. Yet, we never talk about it or in some cases, act on it. The dilemma, the identity crisis, the forlornness that people like Eric suffer from... It opened my eyes bigger, I was aware before, I am just even more aware now.

Sex Education actually got better as the seasons went on. And season 4 was an excellent finale to it. I know it's not a show for everyone but I think it should be.

Before I say farewell to Sex Education once and for all, I went back to read my reviews for seasons 2 and 3. And wow, my thoughts each season really go back and forth. (Sarcastically) I love the fact that none of my wishes for season 4 happened, at all.

Rating: ★★★★☆

P.S.: I did not realise how much I liked the secondary school teachers until they had that small appearance.

More on Sex Education here: Season 2 | Season 3

[system-of-a-feather]

Recovery and Forgiveness

A bit of a positive healing related and focused ramble cause the newest Ted Lasso episode had me thinking about things (watch it, its got REALLY good mental health depiction) but I feel something - particularly in earlier stages of healing - that I could never really understand and that no one really ever explained in a way that didn't sound like therapist regurgitation at best and often really stupid toxic positivity was how the idea of "forgiveness" goes into healing.

I used to hate when people said "one of the best things you can do for yourself is to forgive" and what not cause it was something I grew up with that caused me immense harm and also was often said as if "forgiving" someone is something you can actually choose to do. You can't "forgive" someone out of just sheer will or logic or thinking. The action of "forgiving" is less an action and more a mental state, relative to an emotion.

I was watching that episode and it kind of made me pause and realize.... since when did we start forgiving so many people and when did we genuinely forgive most (not all, some are factually unredeemable and / or do not deserve it because they are still the way they were in the past) but at this point we can genuinely say we've basically entirely forgiven our mom, our overtly abusive middle sister, our fiance, our best friend, and even our dad for the most part - all of which honestly had done us a lot of severe harm in their own ways. Honestly, the only main abusers we "havent forgiven" is our primary CSA perpetrator and our oldest sister who has made no efforts to do better, reflect on her actions, improve herself, or even remotely take responsibility for her actions. And just thinking about that gave me some whiplash, because we used to be very vengeful - very grudge holding - very unforgiving.

And I'm still kind of piecing together how we even got here and when, but a thing I do know and I think is important to put out there for my younger self(ves) is

You can't make yourself forgive anything or anyone. As a result, you only do you not have to forgive anyone but you really can't even make yourself forgive someone if it isn't natural.

Forgiveness is not about saying "its okay" or that the hurt was gone. Some emotionally abusive people may have established through guilt trips that if you forgive someone, that you are supposed to never mention the harm they caused. That isn't forgiveness - that is repression.

Forgiveness is more about saying "what happened was in the past and it fucking hurt, but today is today and what is in the past is over and I am willing to let that past go"

Forgiveness doesn't require any action to go with it. You can keep that person your forgiven out of your life. You can welcome that person back in. You can return to something similar to what it was before the event. You can embrace that things are inherently different.

Forgiveness isn't absolute or a contract. You can forgive someone, but if they betray that and still continue to act the way they used to, you can take it back.

And even more so, forgiveness doesn't erase the hurt that you been through or the hurt that they have done. Forgiveness stems from an understanding of the pain that had been done, and (usually) a mutual understanding of the situation, how it happened, why it happened, and that it wasn't okay but that was the past and holding onto that keeps the future from building something anew - perhaps even far better than what was there before.

My middle sister spent our entire childhood directly abusing and terrorizing us. She physically hurt us, emotionally hurt us, isolated us and got our parents to regularly neglect us. She was horrible. She directly admitted and told us that she hated us from the moment we were able to speak and no longer a cute baby-a-live doll. We had cut her off for a good couple years, zero contact, zero acknowledgement, straight up rejected out of our life.

I forgot honestly exactly when or why we decided to break that - but I think it was following us repairing things with our mom a good bit and that then her word and unique circumstances combined with a random day when someone (probably Lucille) suggested we message her about real talk - perhaps it was about how shit Amy was and dumping tea or something with gender - but we ended up talking to her again

After a while, we both went through the wringer and we both came out the other end. We've dealt with our crap and honestly came to a mutual understanding even necessarily about the shit that we went through, but that we lived and were living through hell. We both went through so much and we both - at the point of talking - were just honestly tired of going back to that place. We were both too old, had too much in life, and too much we liked and loved and wanted to do than bring that hurt from the past constantly forward. We took ownership of our respective roles and honestly quickly built a really great new foundation that never had a chance to even exist around mutual radical leftistness and being the local queers.

She's honestly become one of my best allies and honestly, we get along really well. These days, I'm EXCITED for when she is in town. I want to do things with her. I call her from time to time to bitch about things, spill tea, and just chat. I appreciate her company and honestly, I love her as my sister. She is my sister, she is my family.

It was a similar situation with my mom, where Lucille dragged us against everyone else in the system being over it, to make us give her one chance ultimatum of "go to therapy with us or loose us for good" and it was fucking horrible first few months - but with the help of a therapist, we got to air out all the fucking hurt and pain that we had - we talked about the circumstance and learned to understand how we felt and how everything came to lead to the behaviors that brought pain and hurt.

We learned to understand and communicate with one another better. We learned how the past affected us and irreversibly changed us, and that while the hurt was not okay, that the irreversibly changed versions of us can still live and make something great in the present with what we have.

And these days? I actually go home to my mom sometimes to vent about stressful things and spill tea. We play board games occasionally. We are on great terms and while I still struggle with the concept and understanding of it, but I think she might be something of what a "mother" might be like. She's still probably more of a friend than a "mom" which was part of her issue raising us, but in the present moment, I'd take that over what was in the past especially since now - I'm an adult and I don't really need a mom so much as I need a friend.

I could honestly go with a lot of these and break them down cause there have been a lot and some of - if not all - of my most valuable relationships I have now I think stemmed from really shit places at a point and time and managed to both heal and bring a sense of forgiveness into the relationship.

Also hilariously, AT LEAST 85% of those relationships getting better like that were solely because of Lucille dragging our system since the rest of us are bad at it.

I dunno how to wrap this up so Ill just end it, but for some context to this post, I have a rule of thumb of healing and recovery, is that if I find myself reflecting upon and thinking on something positive and healing about our trauma and past, I gotta let it stew and flow until it ends and I should write it down just to make sure the moment is registered well.

[iheartchv]

Hiiiiiii

I was wondering if I could get a COD matchup? The Characters I like best are Simon, Price, Konig, Krueger, and Nikto. If you think I'd fit better with a different character though, I'm 100% curious :)

I use she/her pronouns, I'm 5'6, got a little bit of chub, medium length brown hair. I love astronomy, and am going to college to get my teaching degree to become a professor, and physics. I bake a lot. I can speak English (first language), German, and I'm learning Czech and Russian. I'm culturally Jewish. I paint and draw semi realistically. I have PTSD, ADHD, bipolar, and a tic disorder of some sort (Don't have the ability to get tested bc of money, but I'm working towards it. Not assuming what it is but it aligns most with Tourette's). I have a hard time with social rules, they don't come naturally to me, but I can semi get by. I'm very much the therapist friend, (my mom got her master's in psychology and she taught me while she learned so I am quite literally like a therapist to my friends) and I am very patient with people. I can get hyper if the environment is high energy, but I usually am quiet. I play guitar and sing a lot. If someone is playing a classic rock or country station, I know almost every song. I have a lot of trauma and it makes me very soft with other people. Not cinnamon roll type soft but I just never wanna risk treating others how I was so I'm more careful. I'm a Hozier girl 100%. I'm a patient lover and absolutely am committed until there is no other option.

Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna answer, just figured I'd jump onto this :))

🤔hmmm... I'll match you with...

König

Your match is König, colonel of Kortac

He met you during a recon mission

When he looked into your eyes, he felt something

He ignored it though, thinking it was just nothing

He was surprised when you wanted to stay in touch with him

With some strings pulled, he let you stay on the base with him

"For extra protection" he said

"Don't want another recon mission, do we, hm?"

That was just one of many excuse to be near you

After spending time with you, he can't help but feel ... he doesn't know how to describe it...

But it felt good

As he talked to you, he would feel that way as well

You were soft, warm, kind to him

"My mom was a therapist, so I picked up on a few things"

It made sense to him now...

When you told him about your past truamas, he was amazed

You were definitely different from others he'd met

"You're brave and strong, little hase"

Being aloof and kept mostly to himself, you knew König had a thing for you

But you helped him along

Once he got comfortable around you, and was so sure that he liked you, he will take you somewhere private and confess his feelings

Feels relived when you return those feelings

He will feel awkward about it all, but with you by his side he knows that he will be enough for you, for this blossoming relationship

Loves to give you hugs and sweet kisses on top of your head

Will call you plenty of cute names

At night, whether he wants it or you want it, he will hold you in his arms

He loves feeling your warmth against him

"You're so soft and warm, my little sheep/rabbit/*insert cute animal name here*"

"Ich liebe dich mein Schatz"❤

"I love you, my darling"❤

If you'd like a love letter fron König, check out my Valentine event💗

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Words: 1,623 Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Reader Reader pronouns: she/her Era: the prison Warnings: sexuality, mentions and descriptions of childhood trauma and physical abuse, domestic abuse Summary: On a supply run, a thunderstorm hits and it seems to paralyze Y/N. Requested by: anon! thanks for this cute request, dearheart! I hope you love it!

Your name: submit What is this?

“What’re ya doin’?”

Daryl’s voice came from right behind you and was followed shortly after by his hands on your hips, so light they were almost floating over your curves.

“What’s it look like?” you asked, your hand still on the pull of the nearest cabinet. “Checking for any overlooked supplies.”

Daryl’s body pressed into yours and you were caught between him and the counter. You couldn’t help but smile and bite your bottom lip. “Can ya… maybe do that later?” he drawled. You felt his fingertips pressing into your hips more tightly and he leaned into you, breathing in the scent of your hair.

You laughed, reeling with tingles and goosebumps at his touch, your face flushing pink at this still new intimacy. “I suppose I can,” you said. You turned to face him and his expression was soft but needy. Another bloom of heat started in your chest and grew outwards. His hands drifted from your hips up to the curve of your waist and back down.

“Good.”

You licked your lips and then looped your arms around his neck. “This was your plan all along, wasn’t it? Get me out here to ‘search for supplies’. Alone. No one else around. Total privacy.”

One corner of his mouth flicked upwards and he shrugged, his fingers tapping lightly on your hips. “Maybe.” You thought his ears and cheeks till turned a little red and you slipped your fingers into his hair. “Don’t ya think it’s about damn time we had some fuckin’ privacy?” He grabbed you by the waist and lifted you up onto the edge of the counter. You let out a surprised gasp and then laughed gaily.

You chewed on your bottom lip briefly, loving the desirous look in his bright blue eyes. “Mhmmm. I can be as loud as I want,” you whispered with a smile.

He let out a sigh that had the edge of a growl to it and his hands drifted down from your hips, over your thighs to your knees and then back up, pressing against the denim of your jeans. He stepped in more closely to you and pressed his lips to the side of your neck, eliciting a sigh from you that you had no control over. You pulled him in against you more tightly, scooting right to the edge of the counter, his hips pressing against the inside of your legs.

Daryl pulled back just long enough to study your face and brush your hair out of your eyes before his lips crashed against yours, insistent and fiery.

You were sinking into him, getting lost in his touch, biting his bottom lip because you knew it drove him crazy, when a sudden crack of thunder and flash of white-hot lightning burned at the edges of the covered windows. You jumped and then froze still as stone. Daryl felt your body go rigid beneath his hands.

He pulled back, his arms wrapping lightly around your lower back. You had a wide-eyed, stunned look on your face. “S’just a storm. S’alright,” he drawled.

But his words seemed to have almost no effect on you. You certainly didn’t look relieved.

“Y/N. Hey. Ya alright?”

You blinked a few times like you were trying to clear something out of your head. Your chest was heaving with anxious breaths, your heart whirring in your chest and making you feel a little light-headed.

Daryl clasped your face gently in one hand. “Y/N.” You finally met his eyes and felt some sense of relief at the weight of him against you. It was grounding when you were worried about plummeting into that dark abyss, standing on a precipice barely wide enough for your feet.

Another growling roll of thunder and a loud crack, magnesium white lightning finding its way in around the curtains. Daryl felt you start shaking beneath his hands and his brow furrowed more deeply. “Hey. S’goin’ on?”

You gulped at the constriction in your throat and squeezed your eyes shut. I’m okay. I’m okay. Just bad memories. I’m okay. A flashback was looming over you, ready to consume you at any moment. But suddenly Daryl had lifted you into his arms and you clutched onto him tightly. His brow was wrinkled with concern and without a word he carried you to the makeshift bed the two of you had laid out on the floor in the other room, layers of blankets and bedding. He set you down gently and your fingers stayed clutching onto his vest, holding on to keep yourself rooted in the here and now.

His hands didn’t leave you, and you were grateful for that. You met his blue eyes as he smoothed your hair. You felt tears welling up, blurring your vision and you drew in a shaky breath before collapsing against his chest, breathing in his smell, feeling his warmth. His hands smoothed up and down your back gently.

“S’alright,” he murmured, and you could hear it echoing in his chest. After some time of just holding you, he finally spoke again. “I remember—when we were on the road—the storm… ya were,” he shook his head vaguely, “but I thought it was just ‘cause it was so bad and all we had was a damn barn to keep us outta it. But it’s more than that, hmm?”

You straightened up and he was studying your expression, waiting patiently in case you wanted to speak. You had to steel yourself to drag it up. You’d always done your best to keep it buried, carrying a shovel around slung over your shoulder in case you needed it at a moment’s notice. But this was Daryl. And you could tell him. And maybe if you spoke it, it would lessen the burden.

You smoothed a hand down his chest and blinked away the tears stinging your eyes. “I was afraid of storms when I was a kid. My stepdad—he—he said I was too old to be afraid of them and that it wasn’t right for me to come running for my mom in the middle of the night.” You wet your lips and cleared your throat, fighting the tightness that was threatening to strangle your voice. Another roll of thunder sounded outside and you flinched. Daryl’s hand smoothed up and down your back. “Whenever it stormed, I tried to stay in bed—I really did but I just—I would panic. My stepdad would be furious when I ran into their room, waking them up… I just wanted to be with my mom. But he—he said I needed to ‘get over it’ and ‘face my fears’.” You had to stop for a moment and triy to slow your breathing and bounding heart. You’d never told anyone, except a therapist, what you were about to tell him. “We had a shed in the backyard, and when it stormed, when I came running for my mom, he’d discipline me.” A tear escaped your eyes and you hastily wiped it away. “And then he’d drag me into the backyard and throw me in the shed. He locked me in there until it was over. Just—in the dark with the lightning and—the whole time I always thought the shed was going to come down around me.” You sniffled and wiped away a few more tears that had leaked out. The sound of rain was no steady on the roof.

“Yer mom didn’t—”

“She couldn’t,” you interrupted him, shaking your head sadly. “He had total control over her. Beat her black and blue sometimes. She wasn’t in a place to do anything for me…”

Thunder cracked again outside and you flinched, squeezing your eyes shut, wiping away more tears with a shaky hand. Daryl moved closer to you and you sat down in front of him and leaned back so you could feel the expansion of his lungs, his body against yours. He draped his arms around you.

“How old were ya?” he asked quietly. You found his deep voice, the rough grit to it, soothing.

“Seven. When it started.”

Daryl was silent for a long time, struggling with some of his own memories that your story was bringing to the surface, but he finally heaved a heavy sigh and his fingertips trailed up your bare arms lightly. “Ya shoulda never had to go through that. ‘M sorry.”

You turned to look up at him over your shoulder and smiled sadly. “It’s not your fault. But thank you.”

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. You leaned back against him more heavily and he wrapped his arms around you tight. The two of you waited out the storm that way. You didn’t know how long it took, but being in his arms seemed to speed it past.

“I’ve never told anyone that before,” you said at length.

Daryl’s heart ached and he tangled his fingers into your hair, chewing on his bottom lip. “Thanks fer trustin’ me.”

You hadn’t been officially together with him for long, but you had already fallen hard. He was your escape. “I trust you with my whole heart, Daryl.”

Daryl felt his cheeks flush with heat. “Not sure I deserve that.”

You turned and clasped his face gently, a sad look on your face. “You do. That, and a lot more.” You pressed your lips to his and melted into each other, passing the night wrapped in the feeling of realizing that you’ve found home in another person.

[tomboy-writer]

Prompt: Chris Evans story where your boyfriend is a cheating douche-bag. He cheats on you time and time again and you get into a bit of a depression. You confide in your best friend, Chris Evans. His consoling leads to sex, the sex soon turns into a regular thing and you get happy again. Your boyfriend sees your change and promises that he will never cheat again and that he will treat you better. You’re happy but sad at the same time because now you have to break things off with Chris. But Chris won’t have it; he says that you should stay with him and not your boyfriend. You’re not sure of which decision to make, so Chris lists off reasons why you would be better off with him.

Chris Evans x black!reader

A/N: my first Chris Evans story!! Let me know what you guys think of it.

A/N 2: I started this story a few years ago and it took me a long time to finish cause I was on a very long writing hiatus and didn't finish this until earlier this year, so some of the story goes off of what the summary says and I decided to turn this into 2 parts (could be more, depending on how long the 2nd part is). So no smut in this part, just angst and dumb jokes. This also originally wasn't going to be a black reader story, but seeing how my ACTUAL 1st Chris Evans story went pretty well (the Game On story) I decided to make it another one cause I love it.

C/W: angst, swearing, my dumb jokes, 3rd person story (it hurt my brain to write it this way, but I wanted to try something different)

“He did it again, Chris! Michael cheated on me with some big titted chick,” Y/N said as she sobbed into her best friend’s shoulder.

Chris rubbed his friend’s back, trying to calm her down. He knew how to handle situations like these since Y/N went through so many of them with her boyfriend. Chris thought her relationship with Michael was like a broken record: always repeating itself. It was good at first with the couple being so obviously in love, but that changed six months later when Michael decided that Y/N wasn’t enough and started to cheat on her with multiple women. Y/N had been given advice by Chris countless times about guys like Michael and she listened to him, she really did. But she always ended up forgiving her unfaithful boyfriend and enjoyed the makeup sex that Michael would give her after.

“He and that big titted chick can both go to hell for all I care,” Chris replied. Then he lifted his friend’s head from his shoulder and made her look directly in his eyes. “Hey hon,” he said using his ‘friendly’ nickname for Y/N. “I think it’s about time you dropped that lame ass zero and got yourself a hero.”

“Okay, Captain America,” Y/N chuckled while wiping her face.

Chris laughed too, but deep down he was really hoping that Y/N would actually consider dating him. They met seven years ago and became fast friends. But the bearded actor didn’t count on falling for Y/N a few years later when he was doing an interview for one of his new movies and Y/N was there to help support him and make sure his anxiety didn’t get the best of him. While in the middle of the interview, Chris started to feel a little fidgety, so he tugged on his ear; a sign that told Y/N that he needed her help. She was standing right behind the cameraman, so Y/N could see everything that Chris was doing. She saw the signal and started to make some weird faces for her best friend.

Y/N made Chris and the interviewer crack up that day, especially when she stood right behind the cameraman and started to bulge her eyes out at him, making him laugh as well. At that moment, Chris realized that he had found that special someone. That special someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and just keep forever, never let go. 

Y/N was sweet, considerate and loved Disney movies and dogs as much as he did. So he felt that she was just perfect for him. He even started to mentally kick his ass for taking so long to realize this.

The interviewer asked Chris one last question before he had to leave.

“So, Chris, is there a special lady in your life? Ya know, besides your mother and sisters,” she asked.

Chris chuckled and looked right in Y/N’s direction with a bright smile on his face. “Well, I don’t have anyone yet,” the blonde answered, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s, “but I’m looking for her.”

“Chris? Chris, did you hear me,” Y/N asked suddenly, stopping Chris from remembering the day he fell for her.

Evans shook his head no. “Sorry, I zoned out for a few seconds.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I said I would love to find a new boyfriend, but I’m still in love with Michael.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Don’t do that, man. I can’t help that these are my feelings for him.”

“But what are your feelings for him right now! Aren’t you sad? Pissed? Or feeling like you just wanna punch that douche-bag in the face so hard that his face caves in a little bit?”

Chris’s friend nodded her head yes and started to sob again. He felt bad for making Y/N cry; he would never want to make her tears fall from her eyes unless they were tears of joy. He grabbed Y/N and embraced her for a few minutes until she was calm again. Once was she was, Chris pulled away from Y/N enough to look her in her eyes.

“Hey, promise me that you’ll forget about that douche for at least two weeks and just try to find someone better. Okay?” Chris begged with sincerity in his eyes. 

“Okay,” I promise,” Y/N complied.

Chris kissed Y/N’s head and, after saying goodbye, left his friend’s house for the night.

           * * *

Chris returned to Y/N’s house a few weeks later. He rung the doorbell and heard a faint ‘it’s open’. Evans opened and closed the door behind him and blushed at the sight in front of him: there stood Y/N, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and an over sized t-shirt, no makeup. That’s when Chris thought, no knew, that Y/N was the most beautiful woman out there.

"Hi Chris," Y/N greeted her best friend with a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Evans couldn't help the blush that crept onto his face. He also couldn't help but to imagine if he and Y/N were together and he'd come home from being on set all day long, her greeting him the same way she was now except that she'd try to pull back a little to ask him about his day. But Chris would hold his lover in a tight embrace, kiss her so lovingly, so passionately, and ask about her day instead.

Yeah, Christopher Robert [Jamal] Evans would love that.

"Hey, Y/N," Chris replied as he breathed in the embrace. "How've you been lately?"

"A little bit better; not fully okay, but I'm getting there I think," Y/N answered.

Chris shook his head in disbelief. He knew when his best friend was lying to him. "Y/N," he whispered, "I can see in your eyes that you're hurting more than letting on. You sure you're doing fine?"

Y/N's smile was quickly replaced with a small frown. "I'm doin' fine, Evans," she answered, mocking Chris's Boston accent. "And, before you ask, yes I have went on a few dates with other guys; three to be exact. First guy wouldn't shut up about his ex-wife; like I was supposed to be his therapist or something. Second guy -this gorgeous dreadhead- we connected and shit, but he too wouldn't stop talking about his ex and his table manners were terrible." You rolled your eyes before finishing your list. "Last but not least, I went on date with Mr. I-Got-Tons-of-Money-Baby. We didn't connect at all and I'm sure it was cause of his cocky attitude and the way he talked down to people -it was disgusting! " The dateless woman flounced into her big living room and plopped down onto her L-shaped sofa. "Trying to find a new man is pointless, Chris. Either I start dating women cause why the fuck not!? Or I just give up on love all together."

Chris chuckled but then nervously cleared his throat after he came up with a great -but what he also thought was a heart attack inducing- idea. "Y/N," he stammered.

"Yeah, man?"

"If the whole thing with you dating females doesn't work out, but you still want to try to find love, then I know exactly who you should date next."

Y/N gave Chris a questionable look. He didn't say anything back, just raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously. It took Y/N a few seconds to understand what Chris was talking about. But once she did, her mouth went into an O shape, showing her shock and surprise.

"Are you serious, Evans," Y/N exclaimed; eyes now wide as golf balls. "You wanna date me!?!"

The actor chuckled. He didn't think that his friend would be so shocked by his words. "I've been wanting to date you basically almost ever since we first met, Y/N. I just- -I just never knew what to say to you about it, or if you felt the same way or not and if you didn't then I didn't want to ruin our friendship, or if you did feel the dame way but then something bad happens to us down the road and then that messes with up our friendship and then there's the thing with paparazzi..." Chris was rambling on and on but Y/N was listening to everything he was saying. Hanging onto every word that was coming out of her best friend's mouth.

Y/N had never known that Chris had felt this way about her. It wasn't that she was completely oblivious (well, maybe a little), but she also never saw any signs of her friend being in love with her. Wait. Was Chris in love with Y/N? As far as she knew -or as far as she thought from what she was told so far- this was just a crush. A crush confession that apparently was a long time coming. She wondered how she felt for Chris; did she have the same feelings for him like he did for her? When they first met, all Y/N cared about was how Chris acted as a person, not as Captain America or as an actor in general. But as Chris Evans, an everyday man. Y/N knew, after that one day of meeting Evans, that she wanted to be best friends with the man, nothing more and nothing less. But now, with Chris' confession and continuous ramblings, Y/N was having different and a little bit confusing thoughts.

Sure Chris Evans is an very attractive man, physically speaking. But Y/N doesn't care about looks -much- when it comes to dating or anything for that matter. She thinks what makes people attractive is their personality more than anything, and she knows Chris has the best personality she's ever seen from a person. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to date him or anyone else for that matter. Although, if Y/N was going to date more, then Chris would probably be her number one pick.

"So, what do you say, Y/N," Chris asked, hopeful.

______________________________________________________________

And that's the end of part 1, everyone. Part 2 will be posted....probably next week or so. It is currently one of my WIPs so I'm definitely working on it.

But what do ya'll think will happen next? What will Y/N's answer to Chris be? Will she say yes, or will she say no? Who knows??? Except for me; I know. Also, you're Y/N; Y/N is you, so you better hope that you say something positive back :P Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!!

[duckybarnes1917]

Only Contact

Pairing: tfatws Bucky Barnes x Therapist! Reader

18+ Only.

This is my first ever fanfic and first ever smut. It's based on the scene in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier when Bucky is in therapy.

I'm new to posting on Tumblr, this was posted on AO3 and Wattpad back in April.

Any feedback would be welcome! Thanks for reading :)

Word count: 1838

Summary: You're Bucky's therapist and you're not very professional, but really who could blame you?

Need to know: Choking/metal arm kink, quickie on the couch, technically a power imbalance (you are his therapist after all) but everything is as consensual as possible. No use of y/n.

Please don't sleep with your therapist.

Minors do not interact.

You had a nervous but excited feeling in the pit of your stomach. You had been anxiously awaiting a certain appointment all day. Bucky, as he had insisted you call him, had been an interesting client. You took him on as a patient out of professional curiosity, and being a young professional you needed the experience, but over the course of your sessions you started to feel an intense emotional and physical attraction to him. It made you act like a teenage girl, constantly daydreaming while staring into his brilliant blue eyes.

“Get it together. Act like a professional” you muttered to yourself as you took a few deep breaths.

There was a knock on your office door and your assistant stuck her head in, “Are you ready for Mr. Barnes?”

The knowledge of his presence sent the butterflies fluttering in your stomach again. You nodded your head yes and when she turned around to fetch him, you quickly checked your hair in the mirror, and because you couldn’t help yourself, undid a few more buttons on your blouse. Your assistant was back and in walked Bucky, looking as rugged and handsome as ever.

“Mr. Barnes, welcome, how are you today?” you said as your assistant walked out of the room.

He gave you a half smile as he sat across from you, “I’m better now, but I told you, you can call me Bucky.”

He leaned in and you caught him quickly scanning you from head to toe, his eyes lingering for just a second on your cleavage. Now it’s your turn to smirk, glad that you made a wardrobe adjustment at the last second.

He fixed his intense gaze on you and you bit your lip, “Sorry. Bucky. Please tell me how your week has been. Have you had any nightmares?”

You leaned back in your chair waiting for his response and he watched your skirt slide higher up your thighs as you crossed your legs.

As he was talking, you were internally begging yourself to be more professional, what was wrong with you? All you could think about was climbing into his lap and kissing his pain away. “Doc?”

You snapped back to reality, “I’m so sorry, can you repeat that last part again?”

You were blushing from head to toe but he just laughed, “It’s okay I get a little lost in your eyes too. I was just saying that I’m fine and I’m not having any nightmares.”

The comment about your eyes made your heart race but you stayed focused, “Have you seen any friends? I asked you to do that last time we met.”

He rolled his eyes and leaned his head back onto the couch. Fuck you wanted to kiss his neck so bad.

“Yes I did” he sighed.

“You’re a bad liar. Let me see your phone,” you hold out your hand and he made eye contact again raising his eyebrows.

“Isn’t that a little invasive?” He asked as he shook his jacket off and pulled his phone out of the pocket.

He clearly sees you admiring the muscles on his arm and chest, you can’t hide it. He teasingly held his phone just out of reach. You moved from your chair to stand in front of him. His eyebrows shot up again this time in surprise at how close you were now standing to him. He leaned back on to the couch and you are standing between his legs, your hand still outstretched for the phone. He licked his lips as he leaned forward, gently placing the phone in your hand while his flesh hand very lightly ran from the back of your knee to the hem of your skirt, leaving goosebumps along its path. You were in shock and totally turned on. He looked up at you from under his eyelashes, turning that intense gaze back on you as his hand continued moving up and down your thigh. Fuck you were wet. You wanted him to grip your thigh tighter but you regained control and snatched the phone from his metal hand.

You moved from between his legs and sat next to him on the couch. You avoided looking at him as he turned his body to face you, your knees touching and his metal arm stretched out along the top of the couch. As you flipped his phone open, you couldn't help but look up at him, he was smiling that sexy half smile and he started twirling a piece of your hair with his metal fingers. Flustered, you looked back down at his phone, trying to stay focused.

He leaned in closer and in a husky voice whispered, “what’s the matter doll? Do I fluster you?”

You swallowed hard and ignored the question. He chuckled knowing that meant yes.

You looked at his phone, “Bucky, how could you have seen any friends? I’m the only saved number in your phone, I’m the only person you’ve called.”

Despite yourself, you felt even more turned on by that fact. You loved that you were the only person he seemed to spend his time with. You couldn't squash that feeling. You licked your lips and looked up at him.

As if he could read your mind, he whispered, “you like that don’t you? Being the only contact in my phone?” He leaned in closer, making your heart race.

He took the phone out of your hand and tossed it across the room. His flesh hand settled on your hip and his lips were almost touching yours now when he says, “tell me. Tell me you like it.”

His breath in your face was intoxicating, you wanted to inhale every part of him.

Breathlessly you whispered against his lips, “yes, I like it. I fucking love it.”

Then he kissed you and you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you. You tangled your fingers into his hair as he moved on top of you. You could feel his hardness press into your thigh and you groaned against his lips. He nipped at your bottom lip and slowly moved his metal fingers down your throat and over the top of your breasts. His lips moved from your lips to your jaw and up to your ear making you pant.

With his lips pressed under your ear he murmured, “did you do this for me?”

"Do what?”

“This,” his metal fingers were cool against your cleavage. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were trying to seduce me.”

He started undoing the rest of the buttons on your blouse as you responded, “well it appears to have worked. It’s about time too.” You untangled one of your hands from his hair and slid your palm over the bulge in his pants.

He responded by ripping your blouse open and with longing in his voice said, “oh, doll I’ve wanted you since the first day I laid eyes on you. You’ve been driving me crazy.”

As you started hastily undoing the buttons on his jeans, he pulled your bra off and sucked your nipple into his mouth while twirling the other one in his flesh hand, making you moan. You finally got his pants off and quickly wrapped your hand around his cock, spurring him on, he moaned while intensifying his assault on your breasts.

“You like that Bucky?” you teased as you slowly moved your hand up and down his length.

“Fuck yes doll, don’t stop.”

You quickened the pace of your hand making sure to touch the sensitive head of his cock with every pass, making him moan again, “Fuck.”

Unconsciously he moved his metal hand to your throat making you gasp, “God, Bucky…”

He looked up quickly with panic in his eyes, he started to move his hand off of your throat but you stopped him. “It’s okay Bucky, don’t stop. Harder. I’m so wet right now.” He analyzed your face for a moment and without breaking eye contact slowly squeezed your neck harder and harder until your eyes rolled back in your head.

He released his hold on your neck and ram his tongue over the spot where his hand had just been.

“Bucky, please, I need you so bad.”

“What happened to rule number two Doc?” he whispered teasingly.

“I’ll allow an exception,” you said as you grabbed for his hand trying to pull it back to your throat.

“God, you’re so fucking sexy,” he muttered as his flesh hand quickly slid up your thigh and under your skirt. He ripped your lace thong down and teased your clit with his fingers, making you arch your back. He moved his hands back to your hips making you whine at the absence of his touch. He gripped your hips tight and pulled you up from the couch and set you on his lap, just how you had imagined earlier. You quickly pulled his shirt over his head and without hesitation you guided his cock to your dripping folds, swiftly sliding his entire length into you.

He moaned and his metal hand quickly moved back to your throat, “You feel so good doll, you’re so tight.”

Your hands were moving over the muscles of his arm and chest as you started moving your hips up and down. He tightened his hold on your neck, sending you into a state of utter desire. You dug your nails into his arms as you rode him faster. You could feel how close your orgasm was, “harder Bucky,” you choked out.

He obliged you without question, “Come for me doll.”

You moaned as your orgasm overtook you, feeling absolute ecstasy from head to toe. Feeling your walls grip him impossibly tighter sent him over the edge and he grunted and squeezed your neck tighter as he came.

He released your neck and you gulped in deep breaths, “Fucking hell Bucky that was amazing.”

You moved off his lap and laid on your back on the couch. He laughed and grabbed your hand, kissing each knuckle. “You’re amazing.”

You watched him get dressed, admiring every inch of his body, then walked him to the door. Before you turned the handle, he placed his hand on top of yours stopping you.

You turned to look at him and he was fixing that intense stare on you once again, “I think this therapy is actually going to work for me, same time next week?” he asked coyly, planting a soft kiss on your lips.

“Yes of course, you’re on my calendar,” you opened the door and he stepped through, “Oh, and Bucky?” you smiled mischievously at him as you tossed him his phone, “I do make house calls.”

He smirked and winked at you as you shut the office door. Your phone buzzed and you saw a text from Bucky on the screen “My place, tonight?” The smile on your face was huge as you type back a quick yes.

Being his only contact might not be such a bad thing.

My Master List

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x11 thoughts

For an episode that ends with a journalist Ted trusts but has (understandably) recently lied to warning Ted that he’s publishing an article about his panic attacks, it was fitting that this episode seemed entirely about what all of these characters choose to tell each other. And after most of a season of television that Jason Sudeikis has described as the season in which the characters go into their little caves to deal with things on their own, it turns out they are finally able to tell each other quite a lot.

Which is good because, um, wow, a lot is going to happen in the season finale of this show!

Thoughts on the things people tell each other behind the cut!

Roy and Keeley. I absolutely loved the moment during their photoshoot in which they bring up a lot of complicated emotional things and are clearly gutted (“gutted”? Who am I? A GBBO contestant who forgot to turn the oven on?) by what they’ve heard. We already know that Keeley and Roy are great at the kinds of moments they have before the shoot begins, in which Roy builds Keeley up and tells her she’s fucking amazing. From nearly the beginning of their relationship, they’ve supported each other and been each other’s biggest fans. But their relationship has gone on long enough that they’ve progressed from tentative arguments about space and individual needs into really needing to figure out what they mean to each other and how big their feelings are and what that means in relation to everything else. Watching these two confess about the uncomfortable kiss with Nate, the unexpectedly long conversation with Phoebe’s teacher, and—most painfully—the revelation that Jamie still loves Keeley didn’t feel like watching two people who are about to break up. (Although I could see them potentially needing space from each other to get clarity.) It felt like watching two people realize just how much they’d lose if they lost each other, which is an understandably scary feeling even—or especially—when you’re deeply in love but not entirely sure what the future holds. Not entirely sure what you’re capable of when you’ve never felt serious about someone in quite this way, and are realizing you have to take intentional actions to choose that relationship every single day. I’m excited to learn whether Roy and Keeley decide they need to solidify their relationship more (not necessarily an engagement, but maybe moving in together or making sure they’re both comfortable referring to the other as partner and telling people they’re in a committed relationship) or if things go in a different direction for a while.

Sharon and Ted. I’ve had this feeling of “Wow, Ted is going to feel so intense about how honest he’s been with Sharon and is going to end up getting really attached and transfer a lot of emotions onto the connection they have and that is stressful no matter how beneficial it has been for him to finally get therapy!” for a while now. And Sharon’s departure really brought that out and it was indeed stressful. But the amount of growth that’s happened for both of these characters is really stunningly and beautifully conveyed in this episode. Ted is genuinely angry she left without saying goodbye, and he doesn’t bury it some place deep inside him where it will fester for the next thirty years. He expresses his anger. (I also noticed he sweared—mildly—in front of her again, which is really a big tell for how much he has let his carefully-constructed persona relax around her.) He reads her letter even though he said he wasn’t going to, and he’s moved. I don’t think Ted has the words for his connection to Sharon beyond “we had a breakthrough,” but Sharon gets it, and is able to firmly assert a professional boundary by articulating her side of that breakthrough as an experience that has made her a better therapist. And is still able to offer Ted a different kind of closure by suggesting they go out before her train leaves. No matter how you feel about a patient/football manager seeing their therapist/team psychologist colleague socially, I appreciated this story because IMO it didn’t cross big lines but instead was about one final moment in this arc in which both Ted and Sharon saw each other clearly and modeled what it is to give someone what they need and to expect honesty and communication from them. I liked that Ted ends up being the one saying goodbye. (The mustache in the exclamation points!) I like that whether or not Sharon returns in any capacity (Sarah Niles is so wonderful that I hope she does, but I’m not sure), the goodbye these characters forge for themselves here is neither abandonment nor a new, more complicated invitation. It’s the end of a meaningful era, and although the work of healing is the work of a lifetime, it’s very beautiful to have this milestone.

Ted and Rebecca. So, maybe it’s just me, but it kinda feels like these two have a few li’l life things to catch up on?! (HAHHHHHaSdafgsdasdf!) I really adored their interactions in this episode. I maintain that Biscuits With The Boss has been happening this whole time (even when Ted’s apartment was in shambles, there’s biscuit evidence, and I feel like we’ve been seeing the biscuit boxes in Rebecca’s office pretty regularly too), even if it might have been more of a drive-by biscuit drop-off/feelings avoidance ritual. It was really lovely to see Ted on more even footing in Rebecca’s office, joking around until she tells him to shut up, just like the old days. And GOSH—for their 1x9 interaction in Ted’s office to be paralleled in this episode and for Ted to explicitly make note of the parallel in a way Rebecca hears and sees and understands?! MY HEART. In both of Rebecca’s confessions, she is not bringing good news but it is good and meaningful that she chooses to share with Ted. In both situations, Ted takes the moment in stride and offers acceptance equivalent to the gravity of what she has to confess. And in both situations, he’s not some kind of otherworldly saint, able to accept Rebecca no matter what because he’s unaffected by what she shares. He is affected. When he tells her about Sam, you can see a variety of emotions on his face. Rebecca is upset and Ted is calm, and even if I might have liked for him to try to talk about the risk the affair poses to the power dynamics on the team or any number of factors, I also really liked that he just accepts where she is, and—most importantly—does not offer her advice beyond examining herself and taking her own advice. A massive part of being in a relationship with another person (a close relationship of any nature) is figuring out how to support that person without necessarily having to be happy about every single thing they do. It’s so important that Ted connects what she’s just told him about Sam back to what she told him last season about her plot with the club. These both feel like truth bombs to him, and he is at least safe enough to make that clear. These are both things that impact him, things that shape how he sees her and maybe even how he sees himself. He cares about her and is capable of taking in this information; he has room for it. But it’s not something he takes lightly, and neither does she. See you next year.

Tumblr user chainofclovers and the TV show Ted Lasso. My brain is going wild thinking about all the ways the next “truth bomb” conversation could go in 3x11 or whatever. Maybe they go full consistent parallel and Rebecca confesses something else, this time about her and Ted or some other big future thing that impacts him as much or more as the other confessions have. (The same but different.) Maybe the tables turn and Ted has something to confess to her. While the 1x9 conversation ended in an embrace and the 2x11 conversation ended with a bit more physical distance (understandable given the current state of their relationship and the nature of the discussion), the verbal ending of both conversations involved voices moving into a sexier lower register while zooming in to talk specifically about their connection to each other, so I have to assume there will be some consistencies in s3 even if the circumstances will be completely different. I don’t really know where I’m going with this and I obviously will go insane if I sustain this level of anticipatory energy until Fall 2022 but I have a feeling my brain and heart are going to try!

Sam and Rebecca. I know there’s been a lot of criticism about whether this show is being at all realistic about the power dynamics and inevitable professional issues this relationship would create. On some level, I agree; I like that pretty much everyone who knows about the affair has been kind so far, but you can be kind and still ask someone to contend with reality. But I also think that in nearly every plot point on this show, the narrative is driven by how people feel about their circumstances first and foremost. (It’s why the whiteboard in the coaching office and the football commentators tell us more about how the actual football season is going from a points perspective than anyone else.) This episode reminded me how few people know about Sam and Rebecca, and how much their time together so far has been time spent in bed. The private sphere. I thought this episode really expertly brought the public sphere into it, not—thank goodness—through a humiliating exposure or harsh judgment but through an opportunity for Sam that illustrates not only all his potential to do great things but how much Rebecca’s professional position and personal feelings are in conflict with that. Could stand in the way of that. I don’t have a strong gut feeling about where this will go, but I do think Sam’s face in his final scene of this episode is telling. He started the episode wanting to see Rebecca (his most recent text to her was about wanting to connect), and Edwin’s arrival from Ghana really exploded his sense of what is possible for his life. If he’d arrived home to Rebecca sitting on his stoop prior to meeting Edwin, he’d have been delighted. Now he’s conflicted, and whatever decision he makes, he has to reckon with the reality that he cannot have everything he wants. No matter what. And Rebecca—she has taken Ted’s advice and is attempting to be honest about the fact that she can’t control Sam’s decisions but hopes he doesn’t go, and even saying that much feels so inappropriate. And I’m not sure how much she realizes about the inappropriateness of the position she’s putting him in, although maybe she’s getting there considering she exits the scene very quickly. I’ve honestly loved Rebecca’s arc this season. I think it’s realistic that she got obsessed with the intimacy she thought she could find in her phone. I think it’s realistic that her professional and personal ambitions are inappropriately linked. (They certainly were for Rupert. It’s been years since she’s known anything different; even if she’s done some significant recovery work to move on from her abusive marriage and figure out her own priorities, she’s got a long way to go.) I know there are people who will read this interaction between Rebecca and Sam as a totally un-self-aware thing on the part of “the show” or “the writers” but what I saw is two people who enjoyed being in bed together and now have to deal with the reality that they’re in two different places in their lives and that one has great professional power over the other. If that wasn’t in the show, I wouldn’t be able to see it or feel so strongly about it.

Edwin and Sam. I really enjoyed all the complexities of this interaction. Edwin is promising a future for Sam that doesn’t quite exist yet, though he has the financial means to make it happen. He offers this by constructing for Sam a Nigerian—and Ghanaian—experience unlike anything he’s found in London. Sam is amazed that this experience is here, and Edwin’s response is to explain to him that the experience is not here. Not really. The experience in Africa. Sam has of course connected to the other Nigerian players on the team, but this is something else entirely. I’m really curious if Sam is going to end up feeling that what Edwin has to offer is real or not. That sense of home and connection? So real. And so right that he would want to experience that homecoming and would want to be part of building that experience for others. But at the end of the day, he went to a museum full of actors and a pop-up restaurant full of “friends,” and is that constructed authenticity as a stand-in for a real homecoming more or less real than the home he’s building in Richmond? (With other players who stand in solidarity with him, and with well-meaning white coaches who say dumb stuff sometimes, and an a probably-doomed love interest, and a feeling that he should put chicken instead of goat in the jollof, and the ability to stand out as an incredible player on a rising team.)

Nate and everyone. But also Nate and no one. Nate’s story is so painful and I’m so anxious for next week’s episode. For a long time I’ve felt that a lot of Nate’s loyalties are with Richmond, and a lot of his ambitions are around having given so much to this place without getting a lot back, and having a strong feeling that he’s the answer to Richmond’s future. But now I’m not so sure; his ambitions have transferred into asking everyone he knows (except Ted, of course), if they want to be “the boss.” But Nate is all tactics and no communication. When he wants to suggest a new play to Ted, he hasn’t yet learned to read Ted’s language to learn that Ted is eager to hear what he has to say. And while Ted has been really unfortunately distracted about Nate and dismissive of him this season, he clearly respects Nate’s approach to football and was appreciative of the play. Nate just can’t hear that. The suit is such a great metaphor of all the things Nate is in too much pain to be able to hear clearly. Everyone digs at him for wearing the suit Ted bought him (including Will, who’s got to get little cuts in where he can, because he’s got to be sick of the way Nate treats him), but when he gets fed up his solution isn’t to go out on his own and find more clothes he likes; he asks Keeley to help him. And then crosses a major line with her...and no matter how kind she was about it, she was clearly not okay. Everything is going to blow up, and I’m so curious as to whether Nate will end up aligning himself with Rupert in some way or if he’s going to end up screwed over by Rupert and in turn try to screw over his colleagues even worse than he’s already done. Or try desperately to make amends even though it could be too late for some. Either way, I’m fully prepared to feel devastated. (And there’s no way I’m giving up on this character. If he’s able to learn, I truly believe he could end up seeking forgiveness and forging a happier existence for himself. Someday. Like in season 3 or something.)

Ted and Trent. Trent deciding to reveal his source to Ted is a huge deal, and I’m torn between so many emotions about this exposé. I’m glad it’s a Trent Crimm piece and not an Ernie Loundes piece. I’m glad that Trent made the decision to warn Ted and let him know that Nate is his source. I fear—but also hope—that this exposure will set off a chain reaction of Ted learning about some of the things he’s missed while suffering through a really bad bout with his dad-grief and panic disorder. The things Ted doesn’t know would devastate him. I wonder if Ted will want to figure out a way to make Nate feel heard and reconcile with him, and I wonder how that will be complicated if/when he realizes Nate has severely bullied Will, gets more details on how he mistreated Colin, etc. I wonder if Rebecca, whom Nate called a “shrew” right before she announced his promotion, will be in the position of having to ask Ted to fire him, or overriding Ted and doing it herself. So many questions! I have a feeling it’ll go in some wild yet very human-scaled, emotionally-nuanced direction, and I’ll be like “Oh my GOD!” but also like “Oh, of course.”

This VERY SERIOUS AND EMOTIONAL REVIEW has a major flaw, which is that none of the above conversations include mention of the absolute love letter to N*SYNC. Ted passionately explains how things should go while dancing ridiculously! Will turns on the music and starts gyrating! Roy nods supportively! Beard shouts the choreography like the Broadway choreographer of teaching grown men who play football how to dance like a boy band. Everyone is so incredibly proud when they nail it. I love them.

I cannot believe next week is the end. For now. I’m kind of looking forward to letting everything settle during the hiatus, but I’ve really loved the ride.

[sarcasmandships]

yellow | paul lahote

paul lahote never wanted to imprint on anyone, but especially not on the one girl he couldn’t seem to protect, not even from herself.

word count: 3.8k

angst, hurt + minimal comfort

trigger warnings: eating disorder, death, hospital/medical scene, vomit

paul imprinted on y/n nearly a year ago, it wasn’t something he ever wanted. in fact, he tried so hard to fight the imprint at first that he made himself ill.

paul was only just beginning to learn that he couldn’t fight off every problem he encountered. imprinting on y/n had been a harsh awakening for him, and he knew now that he couldn’t punch and kick his way through life.

that didn’t stop him trying though, he stared at the hole he’d just created in the dry wall of his bedroom. he was going to have to buy another poster.

“paul, are you still there?” y/n’s voice was muffled through the phone which lay face down on his bed, “i heard a bang.”

and paul could hear her concern so he snatched the phone and held it up to his ear, “yeah i’m still here don’t worry,” he sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose.

“okay...” she said uncertainly, “are you alright?”

he was clenching his fists, his jaw, and every other muscle in his body, “yeah, yeah i’m fine,” he said, trying to maintain a light and airy tone as much as possible but the words just came out flat, “i should be asking if you’re okay.”

y/n took several minutes to answer, “you don’t need to worry about me paul.”

if only she knew that his entire life now revolved around worrying about her. about wanting to protect her, from the leeches, from every creep and asshole in this town, from every bout of stress or sadness.

“i never do anything else,” he tried to say jokingly, but his voice broke mid-way through the sentence and he punched his mattress.

“look paul...” he could hear her frowning through the phone as she sighed, “i gotta go to my appointment now but I’ll see you later for the bonfire, yeah?”

tears were burning in paul’s eyes as he croaked out a response, “yeah, do you need me to pick you up?”

“it’s all good, i’m going to emily’s first to give her a hand with the food so i’ll go down with her.”

“yeah, sounds great,” he said flatly, “i’ll see you there then.”

“bye paul,” she whispered and hung up the phone.

he launched the phone at the wall, and it shattered into chunks of useless plastic. he held his head in his hands and before he knew it, his whole body was racked with dry sobs.

paul lahote never wanted to imprint on anyone, but especially not on the one girl he couldn’t seem to protect, not even from herself.

he grabbed a pair of beat-up trainers from under his bed and pulled them on. he thundered downstairs and out the front door, ignoring the protests of his drunken father.

paul ran.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul,’ y/n would tease him.

maybe not, but he couldn’t do anything else because she wouldn’t fucking let him. y/n had always been stubborn but in the last few months she’d become increasingly closed off and defensive. if paul made the slightest attempt to ‘stick his nose where it didn’t belong’ then she’d shut him out for weeks on end.

being apart from her was agonising.

he used to think sam and jared were exaggerating when they talked about the pain of not seeing their imprints. but now he knew it was all too real and he couldn’t stand it, so paul had learned to bite his tongue so she wouldn’t give him the silent treatment.

that was something that did not come easy to him, but it was easier than not seeing her, not talking to her, not being close to her.

paul knew on some level it was selfish to let y/n play out her fantasises and pretend that everything was fine, he knew it was wrong for indulging her. but whenever he tried to confront her, to help her, then she would shut him out again and he couldn’t bare that.

it was raining heavily now, the hail stones battered off his exposed skin as he dove out of sight behind the tree line.

staying calm was not something paul was good at, he had to spend so much of his energy focusing on blocking out his anger and sadness and pain and anguish just to make sure he didn’t shift at an inappropriate moment.

but right now, he could smash through that blockade and let every emotion flood through his body as his flesh ripped and his bones snapped, and he shed his human form to leave a large, grey wolf in his place.

paul relished in the release, it felt good to finally let go of every negative emotion he was holding onto and embrace the wolf inside of him. he ran through the trees, taking in the smell of the wet earth and the salty sea air.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul’

y/n told him that once after a particularly explosive fight he’d had with his father. they sat on the beach, and she stroked his hair as he laid with his head on her lap. he told her he was going to leave home, she pointed out he had no money, he told her that he’d live in the streets if he had to.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul’ she had said, her fingers entangled in his hair.

but y/n didn’t seem to adopt that mentality when it came to her own problems, and paul’s desire to protect her made her problems, his problems. and now he had an overwhelming number of problems that everyone kept telling him he couldn’t run away from, but that wasn’t going to stop him from trying.

he kicked up soil and dead leaves behind him as he ran through the woods, the hailstones has subsided to a light drizzle which still managed to soak his fur. he paused to shake the water off him when he hear someone else’s voice in his head, someone else had shifted.

“hey paul.”

“hey jake.”

paul tried to shut off his inner monologue so that jacob couldn’t hear what he was thinking, he thought he was doing an alright job until-

“rough day, huh?”

paul growled.

“yeah i guess, y/n’s seeing her therapist right now....”

“is she getting better?”

paul could sense the concern in jacob’s thoughts but this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have right now.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul’

well, what the fuck else was he supposed to do? everyone kept telling him that he couldn’t run away but no one was offering any alternative solutions.

it was always ‘calm down, paul.’

‘you can’t fight your way out of everything, paul.’

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul’

well why the fuck not?

no one seemed to understand that he wasn’t running for his own sake but for everyone else’s. and most importantly, for y/n’s. it was excruciatingly difficult to keep those thoughts to himself and out of jacob’s mind, so he began running through the trees again to provide some kind of distraction.

“yeah, she’s going over to emily’s first to help out so i’m meeting her there.”

“do you think you might finally tell her tonight? it’s been nearly a year and she still has no idea....”

“she can’t handle it; she’s got enough going o,n i can’t burden her with all of this too.”

that was only part of it. paul was worried about how y/n would take the news that he, and all his friends were shapeshifting wolves that existed to protect the town from vampires. and even more concerning, how would she take the news that he had imprinted on her? y/n was too fragile right now, he had to protect her even if that meant keeping the truth from her.

but beyond that, he was worried that she wouldn’t accept him. paul had a crippling fear of rejection at the best of times, but the prospect of his own imprint rejecting him was unimaginable.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

maybe not forever, but for right now he was going to sprint as fast as he could.

***

the blazing bonfire crackled just meters in front of them and yet y/n was still shivering; paul wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close into his chest. she nuzzled into him and paul was filled with a burst of euphoria at their closeness. her eyes were barely open as she leaned into him, he tightened his grip on her frozen frame.

“are you okay?” he mumbled into her hair, it smelled like lavender.

she nodded slowly, “yeah, i’m just tired, today was pretty rough.”

paul frowned. he wished that they weren’t surrounded by so many people, they were sat a little away from the rest of the group, but they didn’t have the privacy he would’ve liked.

“do you want to talk about it?”

y/n sniffled, when paul looked down at her he saw tears slowly running down her cheeks and his heart shattered.

he pulled her in closer and wiped away the tears, “hey, hey what’s wrong?”

y/n just shook her head, “i don’t want to talk about it.”

‘you can’t run away from your problems, y/n’ he wanted to say.

“are you sure?” he asked hesitantly, desperately wanting to help but also not wanting her to clam up again.

she looked away from him; the glare from the roaring bonfire reflected in her glassy eyes. paul enveloped one of her cold, bony hand in his and squeezed it gently but her frown persisted. there was a hollowness in his chest as he stared at her miserable expression; paul knew he couldn’t punch away anyone’s problems but as it turns out, holding hands is just as ineffective.

“dr charles wants me to go to inpatient treatment,” she said bluntly, “he says my physical health is deteriorating too much.”

something twisted in his gut.

“but i thought you were…getting better?” he said cautiously.

paul knew that was a lie.

y/n knew that was a lie, but she was so good at pretending otherwise she had everyone convinced that she was getting better. everyone but him, and he didn’t want her to know that she wasn’t fooling him with the ‘i’m eating again, i’m doing great’ routine she had become so well-versed in.

“well, i’m not better,” she snapped, pushing paul off her as she leapt to her feet.

superhuman hearing or otherwise, everyone else around the bonfire heard y/n’s exclamation, and their heads snapped over to stare between her and paul. emily began to stand up but paul waved her off and she sat back down next to sam. he approached y/n slowly, tears continued to stream down her face but when he moved to place a reassuring hand on her shoulder, she pushed him away.

he held up his hands, “okay, okay – i won’t touch you, why don’t we go somewhere quiet to talk-”

“no,” she snapped, “i don’t want to talk paul, all i ever do is fucking talk about my feelings and as long as i say the right things then everyone thinks i’m better, but i’m not fucking better, okay?”

“i know,” he roared back, “i know you’re not better, in fact you’re getting worse. i watch you get sicker every single day, i watch you withering away, i watch you dying and there is nothing that i can do because you won’t let me.”

y/n bit her lip and looked away from him.

tears were burning in paul’s eyes, “i can’t make you better, i can’t make you eat, i can’t look after you and it’s killing me.”

“i never asked you to look after me,” she screamed back, tears flowing freely down her face now, “i don’t know why you think it’s your job to keep me alive but it isn’t-”

“yes, it is!”

paul was shaking now, he was trying to hold onto his humanity with every fibre of his being, but the pain and anger was overwhelming. he was reaching his breaking point. he tried to focus on y/n; she was his anchor and usually the thought of her, focusing on the sound of her heartbeat was enough to calm him down. but usually, she wasn’t the focus is his anger, and now when he looked at her all he saw was how frail and weak she looked.

she was dying and she wouldn’t let him help her.

everyone was staring now; paul didn’t want to be on this beach anymore, he couldn’t deal with this right now. it was all too much; his head was spinning and his limbs were trembling.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

sam leapt to his feet, ready to jump in and tackle paul to the ground as he lurched towards y/n. but instead of shifting and attacking her, he grabbed her hand and led her away from the bonfire and the rest of the pack.

“paul what are you doing?” y/n asked through chattering teeth.

she didn’t try to fight him off but paul knew this was more likely a sign of her lack of energy, and not her willingness to go with him. they were at the edge of the beach now, where the sand bordered with the rough concrete path that led back towards the heart of la push. paul stopped in his tracks and turned to face y/n as he heard her breathing become increasingly shallow.

he studied her intently, emaciated body, pale lips, hollow cheeks. he could hear her heart beating slowly and irregularly inside her chest, he could see her struggling to catch a breath. despite her weakened body she stared back at him, with a clenched jaw and arms crossed across her chest.

“you can’t run away from your problems, y/n,” he finally said.

she snorted, “i’m not you, paul.”

“no, but you’re my impr-” he stopped himself before he revealed too much and ran a hand through his hair, “you’re my best friend y/n i-”

“no, jared is your best friend,” she said pointedly.

“for god’s sake can you stop being difficult for two damn seconds?” he snapped.

she let out a shrill laugh, “right sorry, i forget i’m just an inconvenience to everyone around here, i should just go.”

paul grabbed her hand before she could turn away from him. he towered over her, but when their eyes met it was like nothing else mattered. in every second of his existence, paul was acutely aware that gravity and the laws of nature didn’t bind him to the earth; she did. and when she looked into his eyes like that it only reminded him that she was his everything, before paul knew it, his anger was melting away and there was nothing but pure euphoria flowing through his body.

paul lahote never wanted to imprint on anyone, especially not on the one girl he couldn’t seem to protect, not even from herself. but in that moment, nothing else mattered except for the fact that y/n was standing chest to chest with him, and she was staring into his eyes. nothing else mattered; not her anger towards him, her disease, his feelings of helplessness, his fear of rejection.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

“do you believe in soulmates, y/n?” he asked breathily.

“what?” she asked; her breath billowed out of her chapped lips and hung visibly in the cool september air, thick, like cigarette smoke.

he took a deep breath; it was now or never.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

“y/n, there’s something i have to tell you-”

she was the first to break eye contact with him, her pupils dilated suddenly, and her eyes fluttered shut. she managed to grip onto his bicep lightly as she collapsed, but her hand turned limp and rolled gently onto the sand as she lay unconscious in his arms.

***

“clear!” carlisle hollered.

paul reluctantly dropped y/n’s hand as carlisle pressed the paddles to her chest and sent two hundred volts of electricity searing through her lifeless body.

he frowned at the consistent flatline on the monitor, “push ten of epi and charge again,” he ordered the nurse, resuming chest compressions as he waited for the next round of medication to be administered.

paul grabbed her hand again while he had the chance, she was already turning cold. the blood had drained from her face, and paul couldn’t focus on her heartbeat to calm him because she no longer had one.

“clear!”

they repeated the routine they had been performing for the last several minutes; paul let go of her hand, carlisle shocked her, the flatline remained.

the nurse shook her head, “asystole,” she said flatly.

“what does that mean?” paul asked frantically, he looked between carlisle and y/n, “why aren’t you helping her?”

carlisle retrieved a neuro torch from the pocket of his lab coat, peeling back y/n’s eyelids he shone the light over each of her eyes, “pupil’s are fixed and dilated,” he said to the nurse.

“why are you stopping? fix her!” paul wailed.

“i’m sorry paul, there’s nothing else we can do for her,” he said softly, “time of death, 19.08.”

the nurse nodded and made a note on y/n’s chart before exiting the trauma room, leaving just paul, sam, and carlisle in the room with y/n’s lifeless body.

paul didn’t cry, or scream, or phase into a giant wolf. he stood by y/n’s bedside, clutching her hand in his and staring straight ahead at the monitor she was attached to. it continued to let out a continuous, monotone beep. sam, who was just waiting for paul to explode, placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder; paul didn’t have the energy to push him away.

“bring her back,” he croaked.

carlisle looked between paul and sam, “i am very sorry for your loss, paul, but there is nothing else i can do, she’s gone-”

“well bring her back!” he roared, falling to his knees as he continued to clutch y/n’s hand, “you fix her, you bring her back, you change her i don’t care-”

“you know i can’t do that-”

“yes, you can. you’ve done it before, change her i don’t care if she’s a vampire just bring her back,” he sobbed.

“paul, we can’t violate the treaty,” sam barked.

“i don’t give a fuck about the treaty,” he turned his head to snarl at sam, “bring her back right now doc or i swear to god i will-”

“i am very sorry paul, but even if i wanted to change her i couldn’t, it’s too late. there are some things even venom can’t fix, even if i tried the venom wouldn’t be able to circulate her body without a heartbeat.”

paul rose from his knees and dropped y/n’s hand. he was robotic as he began chest compressions, despite protests from carlisle. sam tried to pull paul’s arms away from y/n, but he shoved him off roughly and continued to rhythmically administer cpr.

“paul, you need to stop,” carlisle said, “she’s gone – that isn’t going to help her.”

he ignored him.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul’.

he wasn’t running anymore.

for once in his life paul was facing his problem head on.

he wasn’t running anymore.

he was doing what everyone always wanted, and yet sam and carlisle were trying to stop him.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

sam and carlisle winced as there was an audible crack.

“you’re breaking her ribs, paul,” carlisle said, attempting to remove paul’s hands from y/n’s body but he flinched away from the vampire’s icy touch.

carlisle looked at sam pleadingly; sam nodded briefly at him before reaching forward and attempting to drag paul away from y/n’s body. he resisted, struggling against sam’s grip as he maintained the rhythmic compressions. his vision blurred in front of him, refusing to take on the scene before him.

he never got a chance to tell her about the imprint.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

she never regained consciousness after she collapsed.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

he never got to say goodbye.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

he never got to tell her he loved her.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

sam was dragging him backwards, away from y/n; his rigid grip kept paul’s arms pinned to his sides and stopped him from reaching out to cling to y/n.

paul couldn’t breathe.

everything was spinning.

the harsh, fluorescent hospital lights burned his watery eyes; he wanted nothing more than to sink down into darkness till he could awake from this nightmare.

y/n couldn’t be dead.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

“someone will need to contact her family, they will need to make arrangements,” carlisle commented quietly, “ i will call them myself if you give me the number.”

“this is my fault,” paul choked out.

“what?”

“it’s my fault,” his voice caught in his throat, “i let her slowly kill herself because i didn’t want her shut me out.”

“y/n was sick for a long time paul-” carlisle began.

“and i could’ve fixed her, but i was too selfish to let her go and now she’s gone forever.”

his knuckles turned white as he gripped the metal pole that ran along the side of y/n’s bed, he couldn’t bring himself to look at her body.

sam placed a hand on his shoulder, “there’s nothing you could’ve done paul, you already did everything you could for her - you can’t love someone back together.”

“what if it was emily?” paul snarled, “would you be so calm and condescending if it was your imprint lying dead in front of you?”

paul’s heart pounded in his chest, he was still unable to look at her. he wanted to remember her alive and breathing, not like this.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

“if you’ll excuse me, i should get started on some paperwork,” carlisle said quietly.

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

paul lahote never wanted to imprint on anyone, but especially not on the one girl he couldn’t seem to protect, not even from herself.

“c’mon paul, you should get out of here.”

‘you can’t run away from your problems, paul.’

his eyes flickered up, and the sight of y/n’s corpse sent acidic vomit bubbling up his throat and into his mouth. he turned sharply on his heel and choked out his stomach contents into a bin in the corner.

after he composed himself paul did what he did best.

he ran.

[theladyofdeath]

Tempting the Fates {Chapter 4}

Summary: It’s the final semester of Aelin Galathynius’ collegiate career and she is so beyond ready to be done. Her schedule is packed full of nursing classes and labs designed to test her knowledge and hone her skills for the real world and her “big girl” job. However, she needs one last elective to graduate, so she decides to study a subject she’s always been fascinated by: Mythology. Who would have thought that a class about gods and goddesses living complicated lives would end up complicating her own in such an unexpected way?

Word Count: 2550

Chapters will be posted every Wednesday.

Tempting the Fates Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Apollo

– God of light, prophecy, inspiration, poetry, the sun, music and arts, medicine and healing

Aelin tried to convince herself that she got up and got ready two hours early for class because of her busy schedule. She kept telling herself it was for the meeting she had with her advisor, about a possible internship at the end of the semester.

She knew that both reasons, while extremely important, were full of shit. She knew she’d showered, blow dried and curled her hair for Rowan. It wasn’t that she was trying to impress him. She’d already done that and the chance she had to be with him had come and gone.

No, now it was about proving to him that even though this class may be a gen ed, she was taking it seriously.

Dropping the class had crossed her mind. She really didn’t need to take it, she could still find a different one to pick up. But she didn’t want to think about the sort of impression it would leave about her.

If there was anything to know about Aelin Galathynius, it was that she was not a quitter, nor did she run from her problems.

Or heartaches.

With one last look in the mirror, and a whistle from Lysandra, Aelin was out the door and hurrying across campus. She grabbed a coffee on the way, but avoided her usual place, knowing full well that Rowan enjoyed the same famous cafe that she did.

He wasn’t there yet when she got to the hall, but she took the same seat she had the class before.

She wondered if Rowan would be looking for her this time.

She quickly shook the thought away.

With her hot coffee on the corner of her fold up desk, she was pulling out her notebook and a pen, waiting anxiously for class to begin.

For him to walk through the door.

Apparently he liked to be right on the dot, though, because students continued to wander in, but he did not.

She was tapping her pen against her notebook, doing her best not to stare at the clock. She was just anxious for her day to start. It wasn’t that she wanted to see Rowan.

Professor Whitethorn, she amended in her head. She had to quit thinking of him as Rowan. She couldn’t think of him like that anymore, his body pressing into hers, lips on her neck, as he—

Shaking her head, Aelin sighed and suddenly realized that the rest of the class had hushed. She was so focused on reprimanding herself for her highly inappropriate thoughts that she hadn’t noticed him come through the door and begin setting up for class. When she dared to glance towards the front, she found his eyes on her. He quickly looked away, going back to his laptop and setting up the PowerPoint on screen.

Maybe he hadn’t been looking at her.

Maybe it had all been in her mind.

But she didn’t think it had been.

He had been watching her.

“Happy Thursday, class,” he began, as the title page of his presentation flashed onto the board. “Glad to see you all showed up again. Must mean my first class didn’t suck.” Quiet laughter thrummed through the room. Aelin couldn’t muster a laugh, though. “On Tuesday, we covered the basics. So, today… Sorry, we’re doing that again.”

More laughter, especially from the pretty, flirty girls up front.

Aelin couldn’t help but roll her eyes.

Which, when she settled her eyes back on Rowan, he definitely saw.

Come on, get your shit together, she chastised herself. With her back straightened, she gave him her full attention.

She took dutiful notes, but his slides didn’t hold much in the way of information. They were mostly headers, with a few bullet points. Most of the important information, information she knew would be critical for homework or exams, came straight from Rowan’s mouth.

It was clear that he loved mythology, that it wasn’t just a class his aunt had tossed his way and told him to figure it out. He was a trove of knowledge and she noticed he had a habit of going on slight tangents when he got going on a topic he was clearly interested in.

After a student asked him to clarify what he meant about Hercules not being Zeus’ only son, he ended up talking for nearly twenty minutes about what the beloved Disney movie had gotten wrong. Aelin had stopped taking notes and was watching him go on and on about how Hades, while god of the underworld, was not necessarily a villain. He just had a job to do. A job that had rules that must be followed, or the consequences could damn not only him, but others involved. His eyes found hers again and the amused smile on her face fell as she made the correlation between their own situation and the story.

They held each other’s gazes for far longer than was appropriate, and Rowan cleared his throat, going back to the PowerPoint, and the  predetermined lesson plans he’d made, which didn’t include children’s movie breakdowns.

She watched him.

She listened.

And she found it all fascinating. 

Rowan peeked at the clock after going on and on, and stilled, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I guess I’ll end there. There is an assignment due by tomorrow evening. You can find and submit it online. It’s an opinion piece. I want a little insight as to why you were so interested to take this class, or what you’ve found fascinating so far.” He sat on his desk, his legs hanging over the side, his feet nearly touching the ground as he leaned back on his palms. Aelin found it charming. “You’re going to write a short essay telling me of your favorite deity. It could be one I’ve talked about so far, or one I haven’t. It’s your choice. But, tell me why they are your favorite. Give me a little depth. And, remember, this is a college course. Grammar counts.”

The clock struck nine-thirty and everyone began packing up. Aelin had been so captivated by his voice that she had to snap herself back to reality.

She quickly packed up her bag, alongside the other students around her. She noticed then how young they all were, and she was willing to bet that she may be the only senior on the roster. As she was descending the stairs, she found Rowan’s eyes on her again, but he looked away as his attention was taken, thanks to the group of girls who’d been sitting in the front row. She heard vague questions of whether they could all write about Aphrodite, since they all related to her.

The scoff Aelin thought she’d kept to herself had apparently been out loud, since not only Rowan looked at her as she passed, but so did the three girls. With his attention on her again, she decided to give him a little wave.

“See you later, Professor Whitethorn.”

If there was some extra sway to her hips, it wasn’t on purpose.

At least that’s what she told herself.

Two and a half hours later, Aelin was starving. She’d just gotten out of an extremely complicated lab and she could barely focus over the growling of her stomach. Twice, the instructor had looked over at her, half expecting to find a dog stashed under the table she was working at.

So when the class let out, she was hurrying toward the cafeteria ready to get a salad from the salad bar and a big ass slice of pizza.

It was all about balance. 

As she was waiting in line to fill her plate with salad, she heard a voice behind her.

“Are you actually getting lettuce or just filling your plate with ham, cheese, and croutons?” 

Aelin looked over her shoulder to find Chaol, her ex, suppressing a smile.

Aelin chuckled. “If it’s the same price, you may as well pile up on the good stuff.” 

Chaol gave her a small smile. “Fair enough. It’s good to see you, Aelin. You look good.”

Things hadn’t ended the best between her and Chaol, but that had been just after freshman year. At least now when they ran into one another, they could have nice little conversations like this one.

No hard feelings.

“You too,” she said, and he did. He’d been in an accident the year before. They weren’t sure he was going to walk again. In all honesty, it was just good to see him on his feet.

“How long until your class?” He asked, sliding his tray along behind hers.

She glanced down at her watch. “About forty five minutes. You?”

“This is my long break,” he sighed. “I’ve got an hour and a half, but didn’t feel like leaving campus. Want to have lunch with me?”

“Sure.” Her smile wasn’t forced, it was easy and she was glad they could even do this, when three years again, they could barely be in the same room.

“I assume you’re getting a piece of pizza after this,” Chaol said with a smirk, nodding towards her plate. “So I’ll grab us a table while you get the rest of your lunch.”

She scoffed but nodded, and went off to get a slice of pizza. When she ordered her pizza, she also got a slice of cheesecake. It was his favorite, something she hadn’t forgotten, but it didn’t hurt that she liked it, too.

Finding him in the cafeteria, she sat down at the table across from him. “How’s Yrene doing?”

He blushed, and Aelin had to admit it was adorable. After his accident, he’d fallen for his physical therapist, and she was just as smitten with him. It must have been all the one-on-one sessions, because Chaol had never been one to let someone in. Aelin had met Yrene early in her med classes, but Yrene had specialized in PT and graduated in less than three years, taking as many classes as she could manage and even studying through the summers as well.

“It’s going good,” he said, at last. “We, uh, just moved in together, actually.”

Aelin lifted a brow. “That was fast.”

Chaol shot her a look.

Aelin laughed. “I didn’t mean it like that. I meant, good for you. I like Yrene. A lot. You two are good together.”

Chaol cleared his throat before taking a bite of his salad. “Thanks.” 

Aelin chuckled, taking a bite of her pizza.

Chaol blinked. “What?”

“You get so uncomfortable when it comes to feelings,” she said. “Always have.”

His eyes narrowed at her. “That’s not true.”

Aelin stopped mid-chew and raised a brow.

Even Chaol couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What about you? Seeing anyone?”

Aelin hesitated, then said, “No.”

A slow grin appeared on Chaol’s mouth. “Didn’t sound so sure about what one.”

Aelin shrugged. “Better be nice or I’m not sharing this magnificent cheesecake with you.”

Holding up his hands in placation, Chaol went back to his salad. Rowan was a dangerous topic, one she wouldn’t share with anyone but Lysandra, so she summed it up quickly. “Met someone I thought I hit it off with. Turns out we didn’t work.”

He slowly nodded. Aelin knew he’d had a couple failed relationships between her and Yrene. “I get it, I’m sorry. Still sucks.”

Shrugging again, she turned to her salad. “It happens. Not a big deal. So if you’re living with Yrene, does that mean you and Dorian broke up? Or is he playing house with you, too?”

Chaol leveled her with a look. Chaol and Dorian had been best friends long before they came to the University of Orynth. They were both from Adarlan, both trying to get away from overbearing fathers, and decided college across the country was the way to do it. They’d been roommates every year and Aelin couldn’t even imagine Chaol living with anyone except Dorian. But now he was. “He moved into an apartment with Manon this semester when I moved in with Yrene.”

Aelin blinked. “Blackbeak? He moved in with Manon Blackbeak?”

Nodding, Chaol went on. “Apparently, they’ve been dating for about a year, without anyone noticing.”

Something in the way he said it told Aelin that he had noticed, but when Dorian had his mind set on something, there was no stopping him. And apparently, he’d decided to date one of the most terrifying women on campus.

Aelin’s response was eloquent. “Wow.”

Chaol grinned. “I like it when you’re caught off guard. It’s satisfying.”

With a scoffed she nudged his leg with the toe of her sneaker. “Well, I don’t. Dorian will be getting a very angry phone call this afternoon.”

“I’ll be sure to give him a warning,” Chaol promised.

Aelin chuckled, taking the last bite of her pizza. “It’s good to see you all happy, though. Really.”

Chaol’s eyes softened. “Thanks, Aelin.”

She nodded. “Even if I am terrified that Dorian will get eaten alive.”

Chaol laughed, and she had forgotten how nice Chaol’s rare, hearty laugh was.

She meant it. She was so happy for them, both of them. It was interesting how things changed over the course of a few short years.

Their conversation continued, as did the laughs, and before she knew it, Aelin glanced down at her watch. She had less than fifteen minutes to haul ass back to the nursing building for her next class. Chaol, who had much longer to sit with nothing to do, assured her that he could handle her trash and told her to get to class. With a hug, and a promise that they’d have dinner soon, all of them, even Manon, Aelin was hurrying out of the cafeteria building.

Somehow, the entire time she’d been having lunch with Chaol, she hadn’t noticed the set of pine green eyes watching her.

Rowan’s own break had been at the same time as hers, but the gen ed building was much closer than wherever she was having to run off to, so he had longer to sit and— there was no denying it— brood. They were halfway across the room, so he couldn’t hear any of their conversation. He had no clue who the tall man was she smiled at so often, but clearly they were very familiar with each other with how easily they talked. And he made her laugh. A lot.

Rowan wasn’t sure why that was what grated on his nerves the most, but it unsettled him.

Seeing Aelin with someone else, someone clearly her own age, it all unsettled him. He didn’t like it. Almost as much as her parting words in class had.

See you later, Professor Whitethorn.

It’s like she was mocking him, yet at the same time, she clearly wasn’t. She was doing exactly as he’d asked of her, seeing him as her professor, not as her boyfriend.

No, he reprimanded himself. Not boyfriend. Hookup.

They’d had sex one time, that didn’t give either of them any claim over the other. It was a hookup and nothing more. And she was his gods-damned student.

She was off limits, in every way possible.

Yet he couldn’t figure out why seeing her with someone else, someone she should clearly be interested in instead of him, had him seeing red.

[maddiwrites]

Family Troubles

Pairing: JJ x Routledge!Reader, mostly John B x Routledge!Reader sibling dynamic 

Summary: (Requested) After the death of your brother, you move to the mainland with a nice foster family. Months later, you get the biggest shock of your life that leaves you questioning what you want.

Note: I’m so sorry this took so long. I hope this is what you were looking for!

Word Count: 4.6k

You peek your eyes open to another sunny autumn day as your alarm echos off the walls of your room through your phone. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t dread the day ahead of you. Because you feel like you’re finally living a life worth living. 

It’s been about three months since John B disappeared. The worst three months of your life. You never would have imagined living a life without your twin brother. It was lonely and heart wrenching. You didn’t think you would get through it. And living with the Cameron’s didn’t make your life any easier. Ward tried blocking you off from the rest of the world. He was afraid of what you could do to his reputation despite knowing most people wouldn’t believe you. You were just a Pogue with a criminal background.Your word means nothing to Kooks and cops alike. Nonetheless, Ward didn’t want to take any chances. 

It wasn’t until you finally got in touch with Cheryl, your social worker, that your life started to change for the better. You couldn’t believe the irony of running to your social worker for help when you’ve been running away from her all summer. Surprisingly, she did hear you. She listened to you. She believed you! Although there wasn’t much she could do about Ward, she could help you get out from under his neglectful guardianship. 

She placed you in a foster home with an eager Spanish American couple on the main land. Of course you weren’t ecstatic about it. Foster care was never something you wanted to be placed in. Especially without your brother. But at the time, anything was better than living with Ward Cameron. 

The worst part of the process was telling your best friends. Kie and Pope, although disappointed, were happy for you because they knew this was what was best for you. JJ, however, didn’t understand how you could be so cool calm and collected about moving. Losing you to Figure Eight was hard enough and now he was going to have open water separating you two? He didn’t cope well with the news. He barely talked to you as you gathered your stuff to leave, almost didn’t show up to say his final goodbye with Kie and Pope. But he came as you were about to get on the ferry with Cheryl. The two of you cried and told each other you were sorry. You kissed his cheek and slipped a small piece of paper with your new address into his pockets. JJ reluctantly let you go with a promise that he will visit you as soon as he could and you believed him. Because he was your best friend, your soul mate, and partner in crime.

JJ saves up every week to take the ferry to visit you. He usually comes every Sunday, respecting your foster parents’ wishes that he not stay the night. At first they were wary of him coming over - they know about your past from the social worker and the News and how JJ was a part of it. They wanted you to have a new beginning. A fresh start. They believed you when you said your brother wasn’t a murderer and that you and your friends did nothing wrong. They were just afraid that JJ would convince you to come back to the Outer Banks (which he’s tried), or make you regress to past trouble making behaviors. But you explained to Maria and Luis, your foster parents, how important JJ is to you and that he needed to be a part of you life no matter where you were living. So they allowed him weekend visits, always making sure to keep an eye on you when he was here. 

Someone lightly taps on your door until you say, “Come in.” 

Maria pokes her head in and smiles when she sees you’re awake. “Morning, honey. Your appointment is in thirty minutes. Will you be ready to leave soon?”

You offer her a smile and nod. “Yeah, I’ll be down in ten.”

Maria nods. “Okay.”

She closes the door gently, leaving you alone to get ready for your appointment with your therapist. You agreed with your new foster parents to go to therapy once a week. They thought it would help you move on and grow and get rid of the nightmares that sometimes terrorize you at night. You went because you felt like you owed it to them to make an effort. They weren’t like the other foster couples you hear horror stories about. If they were gonna be there for you, you were gonna be there for them too. 

The therapy sessions were working. You’re more open to talking about what you went through. The therapist never gave you any inclination that she was judging you or analyzing you. She just listened and asked you how you were feeling about everything. She helped you adjust to this new life on the mainland and taught you new coping strategies that didn’t involve getting into fights or arguing with the cops. She helped you through your anxiety about starting a new school and making new friends. She even prescribed you some anxiety meds that helped with your nightmares and panic attacks.

Both Maria and Luis drive you to your therapy appointment. You silently question why the both of them felt the need to accompany you to your appointment. You mentally list all the reasons as to why they both would want to come when usually it’s just one or the other. You’re too afraid to ask, thinking they’re about to drop a bomb on you and send you back to the island. You don’t want to hear it, procrastinating the inevitable for as long as possible. 

When Dr. Hildegard greets you in the waiting room, she waves not only you but your foster parents as well into her office. The three of you take a seat on the brown leather couch in front of her chair. You awkwardly glance between your therapist and your foster parents, trying to read the room. You dig your nails into the skin of your hand to keep yourself calm, focusing on the slight stinging pain it leaves you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Dr. Hildegard says. She takes notice of your fidgeting hands and smiles. “I know you must be confused and anxious right now. But Maria and Luis have something they want to ask you and felt you would be more comfortable having this conversation with me present.”

“Okay...” You say wearily. 

Luis and Maria hold each other’s hands as they turn to look at you. You feel a little better when you see a smile on their face, making you think it isn’t going to be bad news. 

“Y/N, how would feel about officially being a part of our family?”

You glance between your therapist and your foster parents and tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t understand...”

“Y/N,” Dr. Hildegard says. “Maria and Luis would like to adopt you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Meanwhile, back at the Outer Banks, JJ is getting ready to leave his house to make the last ferry to the mainland. He had to pick up another shift to afford another boat ride and a date for tonight, which left him racing against the clock.

Someone knocks on his front door. “Shit,” He curses and looks at the clock. 3:04. He needed to leave twenty minutes ago. He doesn’t have time to talk to anyone right now. He figures it’s his dad’s probation officer or druggie looking for money. So he ignores it so he can find his wallet. 

But the knocking persists. 

“Fuck,” JJ grunts and storms to the front door. “He’s not here -”

JJ freezes as he rips the door open. He didn’t know who he was going to find, but he definitely wasn’t expecting his dead best friend to be standing on his door step. 

John B smirks up at his shocked reaction. “Hey, stud. Miss me?”

JJ’s brain is doing flips inside his skull, knocking around with so many questions and curses and phrases and shouts. But with that is the immense excitement and relief that takes over his entire body. 

JJ jumps on him and wraps his arms around his best friend’s shoulders. Tears inevitably prick his eyes and he physically holds onto John B. He’s in utter disbelief. He never thought he would get this opportunity again. To see and hold his best friend - the best friend that’s supposed to be dead. 

“Wow. Who knew JJ Maybank could get so emotional?” John B jokes, trying to hide his own tears through his laugh. 

JJ removes himself from John B and shoves him back by the shoulders lightly. He wipes his upper lips with the back of his hand and sniffles back the rest of his tears. “Shut up, bro.” JJ narrows his eyes at the dead man in front of him and asks, “What the fuck happened? Where’s Sarah? Is she -”

"Sarah’s fine. We’re trying to lay low right now. No one knows we’re back.”

“What -”

“Look, I know you’re confused and there’s so much I need to tell you guys, but first I need to see my sister.” John B says with a sweet grin on his lips at the mention of his sister. He was most excited to see her - his first best friend and partner in crime. “Is she here?” JJ’s face falls at the mention of Y/N because he doesn’t know how John B is going to take the news that she’s no longer on the island. John B notices JJ’s hesitation and immediately get’s worried. “Where’s Y/N, JJ?”

“She’s not here.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

You trail behind Maria and Luis as they unlock the front door to their house. The car ride home was awkwardly silent. You didn’t know what to say.

“Oh...” You said. You weren’t expecting that. You thought they’d be telling you the complete opposite. Yet, you didn’t know how to feel about their proposition. 

Maria and Luis looked at Dr. Hildegard for some insight or ice breaker since you froze up on the spot. You looked back down at your hand and pressed your nails even harder into your skin, leaving half crescent moons indented in your palm. 

Dr. Hildegard kept her calm smile and said softly, “Why don’t Y/N and I speak alone and I’ll grab you guys at the end?”

Maria and Luis, although a little disappointed by your reaction, agreed and stepped out of the room.

When the two of you were alone, Dr. Hildegard asked, “How are you feeling right now, Y/N?”

“I uh...” You stammered. “I don’t know. Shocked, I guess.”

“Usually when kids in foster care are offered adoption, they’re excited. Do you like living with Maria and Luis?”

“Yeah, they’re great. It’s just...” The last time someone offered to take you in as part of their family, it didn’t end well. It changed your life for the worst, you lost your only living family member left, and is the reason why you were here today. Although foster care isn’t that much different, you didn’t expect to stay with Maria and Luis past 18 years old. 

“Rebuilding a sense of trust can be difficult after past traumas. But taking those necessary steps, of letting new people in your life, can help you over those humps.”

“Why don’t you get ready for volleyball practice? I’ll take you there when you’re ready,” Luis says as the three of you walked inside. 

You nod silently and quickly hide in your room. You fall back on your bed that suddenly feels different than it did this morning. Like a reminder that it didn’t belong to you.

But maybe it could. 

You get changed for volleyball in a pair of spandex and a t shirt. When you close the drawer, something falls on your dresser, catching your attention. 

You pick up the fallen picture frame of you, John B, and the rest of the Pogues on Memorial Day Weekend. Kie had taken a selfie with all of you making silly faces at the camera in the middle of the marsh. That day always brings back amazing memories for you. Oh how you wished you could have another day like that. 

You stare a little longer at John B in that photo. What would he say if he was with you right now? Would he say yes to Maria and Luis like he did to Ward? Or would he encourage you to be more careful about who you trust with your life?

Maria knocks on your door and says, “You ready, sweetheart?” 

You place the frame back on the dresser and walk out into the hall to meet her. “Yes.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

“So this couple....” John B says as he follows JJ off the ferry on the mainland. 

“Maria and Luis,” JJ says. On the way here, he told John B everything. About how horrendous your life was after John B “died.” How Ward treated you like a prisoner. How you practically begged Cheryl to help you. How you ended up on the mainland with a lovely married couple. 

“Are they...nice?”

JJ shrugs. “They seem like good people. You can tell they don’t like me around, but that might just be because they associate me with all the bad shit that happened to us because of Ward.”

“Does she like it here?” John B says as he takes in his new surroundings. As he and JJ walk towards your neighborhood, which isn’t too far from the ferry, he thinks about what your life could become here. Nice neighborhoods, friendly towns. It’s definitely better than the Cut. But it wasn’t home. 

“She’s learning to, I think,” JJ answers honestly. “She doesn’t like being so far away from the Pogues.”

“Yeah, I can understand the feeling,” John B says. Although it was nice to have Sarah around while they were gone, he couldn’t help but feel like a giant chunk of his heart was missing. And that was the Pogues. 

“This is it,” JJ says as they reach the end of a short driveway on the outskirts of town. A two story baby blue home with white shutters and a rose bush. Bigger than the houses on the Cut and smaller than the houses on Figure Eight. 

“This is where she’s been staying?” John B asks. Something swarms inside his brain. He doesn’t know if it’s betrayal or jealousy. 

“Yup,” JJ says, popping the ‘p’, “Her room is on the side.”

JJ knocks on the front door and looks down at his watch while he waits. Somehow, he managed to be about ten minutes early. Probably because of John B’s hustle to find his sister as soon as possible. 

Luis opens the door with a friendly grin that quickly falters when he sees who accompanies JJ. 

“Good Afternoon, Mr. Morales. Is Y/N, here?”

Luis looks between the boys and inhales a deep breath. He knows John B from the pictures on the News, the stories in the paper, and the cries of his name when Y/N was terrorized with nightmares in the beginning of her stay. 

Although the adoption process just started, he and his wife felt like they were finally forming a family-like bond with Y/N. Dr. Hildegard suggested starting over would be in Y/N’s best interest, encouraging new friendships, joining extracurricular activities at school, staying away from the Outer Banks for a while. Luis and Maria made an exception for JJ, seeing how happy he truly made Y/N. But they never expected to see John B. 

And he didn’t know what that meant for his family. 

John B notices Luis’s hesitation and politely holds out his hand. “I’m John Booker Routledge. Y/N’s brother.” 

Luis reluctantly shakes his hand, although apprehensive, never rude. He coughs awkwardly and looks back at JJ without saying a word to John B. “Tonight’s not a good night -”

“What do you mean? Sunday’s our day. She didn’t tell me she was busy -”

“I’m sorry, son. Maybe next week.” Luis shuts the door before JJ or John B could argue. 

John B knocks again and even rings the doorbell. “Mr. Morales! Hey! Come back!”

“Here,” JJ pulls John B by his arm. “Come here.”

JJ and John B round to the side of the house where your window sits right under the middle point of the roof. JJ find’s the nearest and smallest rock and tosses it up at the glass of your window. 

“What are you? Fucking, Romeo?” John B glares at his friend.

“You have a better idea?” JJ glares right back. “Trust me. I wouldn’t put it past Mr. Morales to call the cops if we kept banging on his door. They’re pretty protective of Y/N, which means they’ve never been truly fond of me.”

“Maybe she’s not here,” John B suggests. 

“She’s always -”

JJ freezes when he hears a car pull into the driveway. They both look at each other before walking back to the front of the house. JJ notices Maria first when she steps out of the car. She has a smilier reaction to John B as her husband which makes John B bounce on his toes nervously. 

You don’t see him at first, with your back turned to grab your bag. Then you spot him immediately. 

You stiffen when you see both JJ and....your dead brother standing on the lawn.  Suddenly your mouth feels dry and your heart is beating the crap out of your ribs. 

“Y/N...” Maria says wearily. 

“Hey, Dimples,” John B says with a smile, using the nickname he and your father use to call you when you were younger due to the deep pits in your cheeks when you smiled. 

Your eyes shift to JJ who looks at you with pinched eye brows. He was expecting a different reaction. One where you run into your brother’s arms and squeeze the shit out of him in a tight hug. 

But instead, you were feeling numb. You never expected to be face to face with your brother ever again. You convinced yourself he was really dead because holding onto hope that he was still alive was slowly killing you and even holding you back. You needed closure and that closure was accepting the truth that John B was dead and to never be found.

Yet, here he is. Standing and breathing and watching your reaction with a hurt expression. 

“Y/N...” Maria says again and lightly touches your shoulder. 

“I’m fine,” You finally speak, flinching at the way your throat feels scratchy. You swallow and turn to Maria and offer a polite grin. “I’ll be right in.”

“I don’t know...”

“Please, Maria,” You say, this time a tad more forceful but not rude. 

Maria hesitantly nods and blocks herself away with the front door. 

“I - I don’t - “ You huff. “How?”

“The Phantom...” John B licks his lips nervously. “Capsized...and Sarah and I...well...a shipment boat found us. Took us right to the Bahamas.”

“The Bahamas?” You repeat, taking two steps closer to him. 

“Yes. There’s so much I have to tell you -”

“Like the part where you couldn’t call?” You say accusingly. 

John B sighs. He should have expected it, but he didn’t prepare for it. He thought you’d be happy to see him, but now he’s realizing how hurt and confused he’s truly left you.

“It’s a long story -”

“Yeah, I’d expect the summary of your last few months to be a long one.” You look at JJ. “Did you know about this?”

JJ shakes his head. “He showed up on my way here.”

John B sighs. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t find a way to contact you, but we couldn’t! We didn’t want the cops realizing we were alive and we were looking for the gold -”

“The gold?” You laugh humorlessly and your hands run up your head to your scalp. Your fingers tug on the roots of your hair in frustration. “The gold’s gone!”

“It’s not! If you would just listen -”

“I don’t want to listen, John B! Because I don’t care about the gold. That gold took everything from me!” You yell as tears begin to build in your eyes, thinking back to what happened last summer. “I lost Dad, you, my home... I can only see my boyfriend once a week. And I was treated like a prisoner in the house of a murderer!”

“I know that it couldn’t have been easy for you but -”

“No. You have no idea what it was like for me when you were gone. Because you weren’t there!” You cry. “You left! You were living it up in the Bahamas, searching for gold, while the rest of us cried over your death and suffered the consequences!” Tears were now silently streaming down both John B’s cheeks and JJ’s as they watched you break down. “I couldn't sleep for weeks. I barely ate. Ward locked me in a room so I couldn’t tell anyone about what he did.”

“I’m sorry,” John B says. “I’m so sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Back home -”

“Home?” You scoff, shaking your head. “I have a home.”

“This isn’t your home,” John B says defensively. 

“It has been. For the past few months. But you wouldn’t know that, would you?” You say with a glare. You look at the house behind him, noticing Maria and Luis snooping through the curtains of the window. You think back on what happened today and the options you had. At first it was a hard decision to make and now it’s damn right near impossible. “Maria and Luis offered to adopt me.” You say honestly.

John B inhales sharply and JJ furrows his brows. 

“What?” John B says.

“I didn’t give them an answer yet. But this is an opportunity to start over.”

John B glares at you. “Think about your family!”

“I am!” 

You suddenly feel exhausted and weak, like the day has lasted over twenty four hours. Your head begins to throb and your neck aches. 

You sigh, “Look, I’m happy you’re all right and safe and unharmed, from the looks of it. But...I just need some time. Okay?”

“Y/N...”

“Please, John B?” You’re practically begging. 

John B sighs and reluctantly nods his head at your request. At the end of the day, you owe him nothing and he owes you everything.

“Okay,” He agrees. 

You walk past him without giving him a hug or anything, afraid you’ll break down in sobs and follow his lead back to the Outer Banks. But you need to be strong and figure out what it is you need in life, tired of following the path that always leaves you broken and alone. 

You kiss JJ’s cheek as you walk by him. “I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

JJ squeezes your hand before you disappear into your house. When the door shuts behind you, you slid down it onto the floor, finally letting your sobs wrack through your body. Maria and Luis run to comfort you to the best of their ability, but they don’t know how to truly help you. 

Later that night, over a cup of tea, you tell Maria and Luis everything. From start to finish. How your dad was obsessed with finding the Royal Merchant, to the compass, to Ward taking you in, finding out he murdered your father and covered up Sheriff Peterkin’s murder by using your own brother. 

Maria and Luis glance at each other nervously. They know how important family is, which is why they want you a part of theirs so badly. But they never want to take you away from one you already have and love. 

“I think you should think long and hard about what you want over the next couple of days,” Luis says. “And we’ll help you in any way we can.”

“I’m sorry,” You say, wiping away your tears with a napkin. “I know you didn’t sign up for this.”

“Honey,” Maria says, wiping another tear with her thumb. “We don’t want you to worry about that. This changes nothing for us, okay?”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

The next day at dinner, Maria and Luis sit you down and offer eager grins. Just like they did at your last therapy appointment. 

“Y/N...we have something we’d like to discuss with you,” Luis says.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

With the help of JJ, you meet John B at the Wreck with the others for a civilized conversation. Now that you’ve had a few days to think and calm down, you’re able to really appreciate how lucky you are to have John B back in your life. 

When you see him standing in the middle of the restaurant, you run to him and squeeze him around his waist as he wraps his arms around your shoulders. You cry into his T shirt, telling him how sorry you are for your outburst. 

“It’s okay,” John B cries into your hair. “You don’t have to be sorry. I should be the one apologizing.” 

You pull away and wipe away your tears. “I think we’ve both been through hell and back and did what he had to do to survive. Neither of us should apologize.”

After giving the other Pogues a hug, the five of you sit down and recap each other’s last three months. John B tells you about his time in the Bahamas, how Sarah is laying low until she gets her shit figured out with her own family, and you describe life at a new town and a new school.

“It’s weird. There’s no division. No Kooks vs. Pogues. I don’t know if I like it or miss my enemies,” You say.

When the five of you are ready to say your goodbyes, you pull John b aside and say, “Actually, I think there’s a couple of people I’d like you to meet.” John B furrows his brows and follows you to a park where Maria and Luis are waiting at a picnic table.

When they see the two of you approaching, they stand and reach out to shake John B’s hand, officially introducing themselves and apologizing for being rude a week ago. 

“It’s okay. I understand,” John B says. “Thank you for taking care of my sister.”

“Pleasure’s all ours,” Luis smiles. “We’re lucky to be able to meet you.”

“Y/N’s told us such great things,” Maria adds. 

You roll your eyes playfully and look at John B to read his face. He seems to be enjoying himself. 

“That’s a first,” He even jokes and looks your way.

“There’s actually something we wanted to ask you,” Luis says and takes his wife’s hand like he did at Dr. Hildegard’s. He looks at you to see if you want to explain. “Y/N...”

You take a deep breath and face your brother. “I have agreed to be adopted by Maria and Luis.”

“But -” 

“Let me finish,” You cut John B off. “We talked about it and the three of us are going to move back to the Outer Banks to be closer to you and the Pogues.”

“But...” Maria says like a song with an excited grin.

You mirror her smile and say, “But...Maria and Luis want to know if you would like to a be a part of their family too?”

John B’s brows jump up in surprise. “Seriously?”

“I know it’s a big decision,” Luis says.

“And if you need time, that’s fine,” You say. “But, I think this will be good for the both of us.”

John B looks between you and your foster parents, who he can tell care about you greatly. Of course he wants that too, but just like you were, he’s nervous.

“Are you sure about this?” He says softly as to not offend the couple in front of him.

“Yes,” You nod. “I’m sure.”

John B inhales a deep breath and nods. “Okay. I’m in.”