#i want regulus and sirius to have had very similar lives as children

[starrylayle]

marauders v.s. slytherin skittles (ft. the valkyries + snape)

With the rise of the 'slytherin skittles' in the fandom (even tho half of them are in ravenclaw but whatevs) -- I've been trying to figure out why I don't like it, despite enjoying the dynamics presented. And I think I've finally figured out why.

It all goes back to the Sirius / Regulus dynamic. I feel like their relationship is depicted as angsty and such but I love it when they are estranged. Yes, they're brothers and they go to the same school, but they are worlds apart. And i like when their friend groups and dynamics reflect that. Regulus, who's stayed with his family and supports their causes (yes I know he gets redeemed eventually but boy used to worship voldy) -- has access to the high pure-blood society and its perks. But one thing he does not have, is the friendship his brother shares with his mates. Reg tells himself that he doesn't care, that he doesn't envy his brother and his friends, but it is one of the things being in this pureblood fascism cult can't offer -- true friendship. That's why, despite my issues with 'choices' by messermoon, I really like how they depicted the dynamic between Regulus and his friends -- like yes Reg had friends but not in the same way Sirius had. And it adds a layer to the loneliness Reg feels, which i feel is a core part of his character. He's surrounded by people that on the outside my appear as friends, but really he's just very lonely.

On another note, i hc both brothers as gay, and love the differences in how they would be presented. Sirius, after finally getting over his internalised homophobia, is free to love and make out with whomever he wants. While Reg, aware of this part of himself hates it, and denies himself this luxury, only getting off (with barty, mayhaps, who is in a similar position) every now and then. Maybe he also has a burning desire for James (if ur into jegulus) but he doesn't ever do anything abt it, coz he feels like he can't.

As for Dorcas Meadows, I picture her in the year above the marauders (so two years above Reg) and not really having any friends at all. Not because she can't make any, but because she simply doesn't want to (my characterisation of her is heavily inspired by rollercoasterwords' version of her in 'the hand that feeds'. She ofc grows close to marlene when they start dating but never really gets close to marlene's other friends. She may or may not have a begrudging relationship with Pandora tho (but only because she provides her weed ofc!!) .

In a way, I kind of like when the houses represent certain themes, like gryffindor v.s. slytherin, freedom v.s tradition, friends v.s. 'co-workers'. Yes i know the fandom likes to depict the houses as more of a personality based system -- which i'm sure that's why jkr intended -- but really i think the houses represent more of values and beliefs. (Which is also why i think the houses should have been destroyed, united or changed at the end of HP DH coz the status quo as it is, is not healthy, but i digress).

Oh and as for the valkyries -- have nothing against their friendship. Lily deserves to have her own set of friends besides James and snape. just think they wouldn't give themselves a name like the marauders did coz they think its cringe, but I can see it coming up and them immediately shutting it down out of embarrassment.

i think this an analysis of snape and his relationship with lily compared to the other slytherins would be interesting as well, and how the interactions and dynamics differ. And canonically, snape and regulus would make more sense than reg and dorcas so if anything snape should be a part of these 'slytherin skittles' lmaoo.

[bagsysworld]

Some Thoughts on the Black Brothers, Dysfunctional Family, and the Good Kind of Hurt.

TW: abusive households, sibling separation, childhood trauma

I’ve been seeing some discourse about the Regulus and Sirius situation (specifically Sirius leaving Grimmauld without Regulus) and as someone who has lived through a very similar situation, I wanted to (project and over share) explain some of the intricacies that I don’t see talked about a lot, particularly in regards to the effect that this kind of trauma had on me and my brother’s relationship. Hopefully this can serve as inspo for people who are writing the Black brothers if you haven’t lived this dynamic and/or don’t have siblings.

Background: I am the youngest sibling. I have a brother who is two years older than me. We were raised by our mother, in a household that was difficult and tumultuous. Our parents are separated and my dad lived far away.

My mother was raised in a very abusive household. I don’t say this to excuse her behavior, but for the sake of the conversation, I want to make note of this generational trauma. The Blacks are chock full of it. As a result of her trauma, she is volatile and quite emotionally reactive when she fears she is losing control. She has a very specific vision of the type of people her children should be, and if we defied her, and threatened what (in her mind) she had worked so hard to build, she lashed out. To my mother, she wasn’t as bad as her own parents, so we were weak if we couldn’t handle it. She viewed her behavior as normal.

Also, regardless of how difficult things were at home, it was VERY important that, to the outside world, everything looked perfect. Public perception was real to her, and whatever went on inside the house was just a means of keeping up that façade. Who we were wasn’t as important as how other people saw us. For anyone writing Walburga into their fics, this is helpful to keep in mind. Rather than just writing her as evil for the sake of being evil, understand this motivation, and you may find a bit more depth in your depiction of her.

But, like my mother, her vision of perfection was just that: a vision. It was unrealistic. It was unobtainable. Nothing would have ever been good enough.

My older brother was always the family scapegoat. Like Sirius, he is outgoing, charming, impulsive, witty, often unpredictable. He loves to have a laugh. He always speaks his mind. He doesn’t like to lose. As you can imagine, this put him at constant odds with my mother. If she was angry, he fought back. He questioned her, disagreed with her. Like Sirius, my brother knows who he is, and he wasn’t going to compromise that to live some life that didn’t even appeal to him.

I, on the other hand, didn’t talk back. Not when I was younger, at least. I was anxious, studious, a perfectionist in every hobby I took up. I didn’t know how to let myself have fun. I never felt like I had earned it. My mother was so loving when I had her approval, and so I chased it. I thought love needed to be earned. I had to be good enough. This is how I view Regulus, especially in their younger years.

As for the sibling dynamic as children… it always gives me a little chuckle when I read a fic where Sirius and Regulus are constantly soft with each other. Imagine them how you like, I don’t want to be condescending to anyone. But there’s no way those two didn’t fight like cats and dogs. Pun intended. My brother loves getting a reaction out of people for fun, and he knew how to press every button to make me mad. I look back on this fondly now, though. He’s my big brother, of course he thinks it’s funny to piss me off. asshole.

But when I was upset, he always knew just how to cheer me up. Not with some tearful heart-to-heart, or a long loving hug, or any of that. More like, he’d force his way into my room, I’d tell him to get out, and we would have an interaction in which he pestered me until I cracked a smile, then he would be ridiculous until I was laughing again and was sufficiently pulled out of my own head. He made it bearable, all the pressure. I didn’t realize how much I needed him until he wasn’t there. But more on that later.

My brother and mother were constantly screaming at each other. But when I got yelled at, I got distant and quiet, and I just said whatever I thought I needed to say to get the hell out of there, so I could lock myself in my room where I felt safe. It scared me, the yelling. And I didn’t understand why my brother always yelled back. It’s not like he was going to change our mothers mind about anything. And it made me angry at him, because he was always looking for a fight, and I always ended up feeling stressed and scared. Our mothers mood would be so sour after they fought, and the floor would be eggshells. It was misplaced anger. But I was a child.

To my brother, this anger made it seem like I was siding with my mother. I was not. I just wanted the fighting to stop. I don’t think Regulus would have been on Walburga’s side either. He was clearly aware of her abusive tendencies. I don’t know anyone with an abusive parent who is like, actually on their side and not just appeasing them so that they can be left alone. But who knows, maybe you know someone like that. There’s a lot of people in this world.

I often see people say that Regulus should have defended Sirius to their parents. Maybe. But also, it wouldn’t have really made any difference, other than both of them getting in trouble. In my experience, my brother knew me, and he never would have expected that level of confrontation from me. I think Sirius would have been the same way. I think he would have preferred Regulus stayed out of it, because he would have felt guilty if Regulus got hurt fighting his fight.

After my mother and brother fought, I would do my best to put him back together. But I wasn’t as good at it as he was. He always knew just how to cheer me up. I always felt like I was falling short. I think that he was hesitant to let me take care of him. I think it made him feel guilty, like he was failing somehow.

He would cope in other ways. Blow off steam at a party, get drunk or high or both. I’d stay awake to make sure he didn’t get caught, didn’t wake up our mother and cause another fight. And he’d let me take care of him then. Simple steps. I gave what I could. It never felt like enough.

He left when he was 16, after a huge fight with our mother. She made me stand in the room, and they both tried to get me to back them up. I clammed up, torn in two. I paid the price for it later.

My brother went to live with my dad. He didn’t ask me to come with him. I don’t think Sirius would have asked Regulus either, though I see that depicted a lot. I think he would have just wanted to get the fuck out. Completely understandable. Plus, even if my brother had asked me, I wouldn’t have gone. What, I was just going to move in with my dad and get on with it all, knowing that my mom was somewhere angry with me, disapproving of me, disappointed in me? It would have eaten me alive. Honestly, him asking me to leave with him never even crossed my mind. And I wasn’t mad at him for that. Devastated, sure, but more so because he was gone. I felt hopeful for him. I wanted him to be happy.

This is where things get tricky, and where I see a lot of people villainize Sirius unfairly. My brother built a new life at a new school. He leaned heavily into the new safety and acceptance that he had found, which he so desperately needed. Just like Sirius when he moved in with the Potters and began considering them to be his real family, and James to be his brother. He was traumatized from his past and didn’t like to think about it, so he built up a wall against us so that he didn’t have to. He was a child, reacting to trauma.

My brother thought that I was against him, because I hadn’t vocalized my support when he asked me to. So I got cut off as well. It fucking sucked, and it pissed me off so much at the time, especially because I had also gotten into trouble with my mother when I didn’t back her up either. And then we were both just pissed at each other. Hurt, and scared, and angry, and stubborn.

All of those feelings felt so grown up at the time, so righteous and justified. It’s funny now, looking back, seeing how immature it all was. If we had just fucking talked to each other, we could have saved ourselves so much misery. We could have saved ourselves.

But I was not encouraged to talk to him. And I had my mothers undivided attention. My brother always commanded the attention of everyone in the room (so Sirius Black coded of him) and suddenly he was gone. It was all on me now. My mothers expectations had been raised unimaginably, to compensate for the loss. I think that this was her insecurity coming in to play. She needed to prove that she didn’t fail. And I needed to be perfect. I had never wanted her undivided attention, just her approval. I never got her approval in the end. Like I said, unattainable. And I eventually reached a breaking point. Not quite as dramatic as defying a dark wizard, stealing a horcrux, and being drowned by Inferi, though i’m sure it did feel like it at the time. I survived though. Bagsy- 1, Regulus- 0.

I talk to my brother now, and we’re healing. We have had a few drunken heart-to-hearts. We love each other. But there’s an ache there, when I think of that time we spent apart. A mistrust that we’re both trying to unlearn, I think. It sucks, because I want to blame the whole thing on our shitty experience, but we were still part of it. It’s still part of us.

I think that even if Regulus and Sirius had reconnected, it would be very touch-and-go. They would remind each other of a very difficult time in their lives, an environment that they are both products of, even if they denounce it. They need each other to get through it, because no one else could understand what they’ve been through. But they hurt each other because of it.

And there’s a grief there, for the relationship and the trust that you want, need, but which feels so out of reach. It feels like it got taken away from us, and (petulantly, I often think) it’s not fair. Sometimes we fight, and I’m scared that we’re too broken by it all to ever be good for each other. I’m scared that I’ll only ever remind him of things he’d rather forget. Then we make up, and I’m reminded: despite the pain we cause each other sometimes, my life is so much better with my brother in it. And I know he feels the same. We’re so young. We have so much time.

Regulus and Sirius didn’t get that time.

tl,dr; call your sibling. go to therapy.

[elysianymph]

i’m curious about the walburga defender!! (like genuinely not like a gotcha thing) because i see most people hate her and whatnot so i wanna know more about how you see her

ooooooh thank you for giving me a reason to talk about this 🤭🤭 this is gonna be really long bc i gotta talk about the entire black family if i wanna explain this properly and it differs a lot from how the majority of the fandom views them

i used to be one of those people that didn't really care for walburga, like i just didn't think of her at all. i thought the idea that the fandom had of her was a little weird bc they seemed to be putting all of the abusive traits onto her and completely ignoring orion in the black family dynamic. all i saw was walburga being portrayed as the only abusive one between the two of them, the crazy mother using the criciatus curse on her children and it left a really bitter taste in my mouth

bc then again, the wizarding world is very patriarchal and orion would've had the last word no matter what walburga would say or do. so even if walburga was the only outright abusive one orion would've been at least silently supporting it, if not actively engaging in that abuse alongside her.

in my head the family was very divided bc walburga and orion didn't like each other at all. walburga used to be a very loud and outspoken as a child, she was raised to believe she was better than everyone else because of her blood and she acted like it. then when she got older, her family pushed her away to be silent and obedient, to fall in the shadows of her younger brothers bc at the end of the day she was a woman. she couldn't be the heir, all she was useful for was marriage. her and orion's marriage was arranged obviously and she absolutely despised him bc she thought he was weak (and he was if we're talking about magic) and undeserving as the heir of such a noble house. in a similar fashion orion hated her because he thought she was crazy, too independent and sure of herself when she should be obedient

because of this animosity between them, when sirius was born walburga immediately took sirius under her wing to make sure he was raised 'right'. she thought orion would only mess him up. she saw potential in sirius because of how powerful he was even as a child, she was satisfied with him and thought he would make the perfect heir. she saw a side of herself reflected in him, the wildness and freedom of her younger self lived inside sirius and because of that she almost had a soft spot for him. she let him have a lot more freedom than she did and orion saw this as a bad thing, he knew sirius would take and take until walburga realized she had made a mistake but by then it would be too late (and to his credit, he was right)

because walburga had taken to raising sirius and was proud of the progress he was making, she kinda left regulus behind. he was less talented, less powerful, naturally quieter than sirius and she saw all of those as weaknesses. orion saw it as an opportunity to raise a child in the way he wanted without walburga getting in the way so he basically raised regulus to be his perfect son and manipulated him so he would be easier to control.

a lot of my view of walburga is dependent on the relationship between her and sirius specifically bc i see them as broken mirrors of each other. sirius was everything walburga could've been (free) and walburga was everything sirius could become (cold and cruel). the world wasn't kind to walburga, she was pushed aside as a child and forced into a toxic marriage that she had never wanted but sirius was a little light in her life and in his early childhood she genuinely cared for and loved him. she never stopped loving him even as he grew and broke free of the clutches of his family. to an extent the love was conditional because that was all walburga had ever known but i don't doubt for a second that sirius leaving hadn't broken her heart.

i truly believe she had mourned for him when he left because that was the biggest loss for her. the son that she had single handedly raised had left and now the house was left with an unworthy heir. that's specifically why she had pushed regulus into taking on the dark mark even though he was so young. she needed him to amount to something, to do what sirius couldn't even though she knew regulus couldn't measure up to the greatness that was lost. in a way she was resentful of sirius because deep down she wished she had been able to do what he had done, to run away and break free, but it was far too late for her.

losing regulus was the last straw for her, all hope for the house was lost. losing orion was almost a relief, she could finally breathe without him there. finding out sirius was sent to azkaban was heartbreaking because she knew what sirius was like, she knew he would've never done it. she went to visit him, still wearing her mourning robes and not even knowing for which son she was wearing them, but he wasn't there when she arrived. she had cried then, begged for sirius to come out so she could see him but it went unanswered.

she died resentful and lonely, losing her mind after everything she had dedicated her life to had been destroyed.

in my head she's just a product of her circumstances, unable to escape the cycle because she was given no opportunities. i don't think people realize how lucky sirius was that the stars literally aligned for him to be able to escape and live (somewhat) normally (for a couple years at least 💀)

[nemiyama]

Alright my friends brought back my Harry Potter phase so I’m gonna talk about two of my favs Sirius and Regulus black

First off I see a lot that Sirius and regulus were like really close as children and close in age which sure yea. From what I know of like their living situation? Of their parents and family it seems very similar to what my own used to be. Me and my brother were similar to them as well (compared I’m not a male like regulus but still) he wasn’t close with me. sure he never let our parents hurt either of us and stood up for me when needed. Most of the time tho? A complete asshole.

Therefore Sirius could have resented regulus for he wasn’t perfect enough for his parents so they had to have another (I believe they are 1-2 years apart?) I know my own brother did. Regulus would have had much pressure from living up to everyone in his family as the youngest. Sirius would have had other pureblood friends as the heir of house black while regulus only had kreacher since he was a replacement. I see that Sirius would not let people harm his brother but he would have done the harm himself. (If Sirius was a troublemaker kid will regulus the golden child it would have been a lot of resentment on both sides for similar and opposite reasons)

When Sirius left for hogwarts regulus was all alone and then he was sorted into gryffindor so he would have had even more pressure to be the perfect child than before. Sirius only talking about how much better hogwarts was how much better his friends were than his old ones. How his new friends were like his brothers. Regulus would have been hurt (I know I felt similar when my brother did those as well) and then finally he goes to hogwarts and he does everything his parents want. Regulus resents Sirius for being able to express himself and not let anyone hold him down from who he is. While Sirius resents regulus for being perfect and having their parents attention (that’s not always negative)

Their relationship worsens over the years and then all they do is fight and bicker. Even at home they can’t be civil. Both jealous of something not realizing they need each other. (When Sirius runs away regulus is heartbroken he has no one left while Sirius has everyone he needs with him)

🥲 My heart

[hpiguess]

Narcissa and Draco’s Relationship

Is constantly overlooked in this fandom and I have no idea why

Think about it: Draco was Narcissa’s only family (besides her husband) for a long time. This should be more significant than it is

She doesn’t, presumably, have any contact with Andromeda for many many years

Bellatrix was locked up for well over a decade

Regulus is dead

Sirius is disowned and also locked up for over a decade

We never hear anything of Druella and Cygnus, so it’s probably safe to say they’re no longer around in one capacity or another

Walnburga and Orion are dead

We never hear of any family on her mother’s side. Technically I guess there could be some, as all of those pure blood families seem to be interlocked one way or another, but nothing close enough for even a passing mention

Draco was, for at least 13-14 years, Narcissa’s only blood relative. As we know, family and loyalty is very important to Slytherins (for the most part anyways). By the time the second war is in swing, Lucius decides that loyalty to Voldemort is more important than keeping his family safe. I don’t know how you come back from that, or if it’s even possible at all, so by the end of that war I’m willing to bet there was a pretty major rift drawn in that marriage.

Even before that though, I can imagine Narcissa being fiercely protective over Draco when he was a child. She came from a large family and by her mid twenties, that was completely destroyed and she was left with only her husband and child. Lucius could take care of himself but Draco? Little vulnerable Draco?

That was her son, and she would be caught dead before anything ever happened to him.

I think Draco would have been a relatively extroverted child, and yes extroverted children can be annoying. But I don’t think she hummed and nodded along, I think she would have listened intently to every word he had to say, and she would hold on tight. Narcissa knew she only had so long before he would be off to school and she couldn’t keep him so close anymore.

Narcissa probably had a hard time once he did go to school. Nine months out of the year, just gone. She wouldn’t be able to properly watch him grow up, his sphere of influence would grow and that was scary. She didn’t want her son to end up like Andromeda or Bellatrix or Regulus or Sirius.

She didn’t want to lose her little boy.

So when the war did finally come, and she saw the crippling stress, the bags under her son’s eyes, yeah I think it might have caused some problems. Some of the blame for that probably went onto Lucius, no matter how much she loved him, and I really don’t think she could ever forgive him for that.

I’m not sure that Draco was fully aware of the extent of his mother’s feelings, or the circumstances that led her there. For that reason, when she did ultimately go a little too hard trying to keep him close, he found it a bit overbearing and shut himself away from her more.

The tragedy of their relationship is that it really is a vicious cycle. On a surface level their lives look so similar (pure blood, proper upbringing, money, class, external coldness, war, etc.) with generational differences, but despite being mother and son their situations, or at least reactions to them, are so different. She takes a step forward, he takes a step back.

But I think it could be different, once the initial end of war shock wears off. Hard to say, I guess it depends how you look at it. It could go great, or be a spectacular failure.

In any case, their relationship is often hard overlooked, and I wish it was explored more thoroughly by more people.

[fruitcoops]

Would love to see a wired autocomplete interview with coops! 🥰

Anon, did you read my mind? These two have such chaotic energy when they’re given an outlet and it was a true pleasure to write it. Dorcas is exhausted. Sweater Weather credit goes to @lumosinlove!

“Wait, I want to pull the tab,” Remus said, tugging on the edge of the cardboard lightly as Sirius tried to hold it out of his reach without falling off his chair.

“I get to read it out loud for you and then we switch!” Sirius protested, smacking him gently on the head with it. The resulting bonk noise made them both break down laughing.

“You guys know we’re rolling, right?” Dorcas asked as she gathered a stack of cards in her lap, looking highly amused.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” She turned to the camera with a bright smile. “Welcome back to Lion Pride, hockey fans! I’m Dorcas Meadowes and I’m here today with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to answer some of the internet’s most pressing questions. How are you two feeling?”

“Terrified,” Sirius said.

“The internet is like the Twilight Zone,” Remus agreed. “Who goes first?”

“Sirius, you’ve got a card already. Take it away.”

He cleared his throat and grabbed the edge of the first pull tab, ripping it off slowly. “That is so satisfying, woah. How tall is Remus Lupin?”

“I am five foot eleven and a half.”

“That half inch comes from your sneakers and you know it.”

“It does not!”

Sirius just smiled and removed the next paper slip. “What language does Remus Lupin speak?”

“I speak English and a little bit of French. Tried to learn Spanish in high school, but failed miserably.”

“I love the wording on this one,” Sirius said as he turned the board toward the camera. “Remus Lupin Green Bay Packers.”

“Dammit, now everyone knows my full name,” Remus sighed. “Uh, the Packers are cool.”

“I think people were wondering if you ever played on the team,” Dorcas said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like a football player to you?”

“Next question!” Sirius ripped the tab off and took a good section of the paper above with it. There was a beat of stunned silence. “I am…so sorry.”

Behind the camera, Marlene burst out laughing, along with most of the camera crew. “It’s fine, keep reading.”

“Okay, um…” Sirius squinted at the partially torn-off question. “Remus Lupin name meaning.”

Remus groaned. “I hate this question. Yes, it does mean Wolf Wolf. Yes, my dad’s name also means Wolf Wolf. Yes, my mother’s maiden name is Howell. I’m aware of the endless puns.”

“Don’t you mean a-were?” Sirius asked as a slow grin spread across his face. Remus grabbed the card and bonked him over the head with it.

“Remus, your turn.” Dorcas handed him a poster board and took the blank one.

“I’m going to be careful with this one, unlike somebody,” he teased, kissing Sirius on the cheek. “Is Sirius Black…related to Pascal Dumais?”

“In all the ways that matter, yes.”

Remus grinned when he read the next one. “Is Sirius Black missing a tooth?”

“No!” Sirius gave the camera an offended look. “I have all my teeth, thank you very much.”

“Is Sirius Black mean?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Reporters don’t like you very much.”

“The feeling is mutual. I love the fans though, most of them are so sweet.”

“Oh, I like this one. Is Sirius Black married?” Remus rested his chin on the top of the card and batted his eyelashes, making Sirius laugh.

“Almost! Ask me again in July.” Remus set the card on the floor and Dorcas passed Sirius a new one. “Does Remus Lupin wear glasses?”

“Nope.”

“Does Remus Lupin—I have never said your name so many times in one sitting, my god—does Remus Lupin have siblings?”

“Yup.”

“Does Remus Lupin—”

“Can you elaborate?” Dorcas asked with a laugh. “How many siblings? Names? Ages?”

Remus turned to the camera. “I have one brother named Julian and he’s ten years old. He likes piggyback rides, ice cream, and hockey.”

“Much better. Take it away, Cap.”

“Does Remus Lupin have allergies?”

Remus frowned in confusion. “Why do people want to know that? Uh, yeah, I’m allergic to some pollens. Spring is hell.”

“How many of these do we have?” Sirius asked as he tossed the board over his shoulder and crossed his legs.

“Quite a few! Loops, you’re up.”

“Where is Sirius Black from?”

“Canada.”

“Where does Sirius Black live?”

“The Lions ice rink. I set up a tent in the middle of the goal posts every night so that I’m never late to practice.”

“Sirius Black gay.”

Sirius paused. “I think we’re missing a couple words in there.”

“That’s literally all it says,” Remus laughed, moving it to show him. “Sirius Black gay. I don’t know, honey, Sirius Black gay?”

“Sirius Black very gay,” he confirmed. “Sirius Black thinks people need to have better grammar.”

“Is Sirius Black’s hair naturally curly?”

“No, I use a curling iron every morning to do each individual curl,” he said. “It takes me seven hours and thirteen minutes, and I use a full can of hairspray.”

Remus scooted over so Dorcas could hand him a new card. “He keeps a stopwatch and tries to beat his personal record every time.”

Sirius pulled the first tab away and immediately started laughing too hard to speak.

“What does it say? You can’t just leave me hanging!” Sirius turned the board around and Remus leaned down to read it. “Is Remus Lupin hockey? Yes. I am the entire sport of hockey condensed into one being. I’m coming for basketball next. Thanks for asking!”

It took a few seconds for Sirius to get his breath back. “What is Remus Lupin—”

“I thought we just answered that.”

“—what is Remus Lupin zodiac sign?”

Remus paused. “Is that the thing Pots was talking about the other day? With the quiz?”

“That was love languages.”

“Your zodiac sign depends on your birthday,” Marlene called. “When were you born?”

“March 10th.”

“You’re a Pisces.”

“I’m a Pisces!” he said brightly to the camera. “No idea what that means, but it sounds cool.”

“It means you’re two fish.” She laughed as Remus sucked his cheeks in for a fish face. “Very nice.”

“Thank you.”

Sirius was especially careful as he pulled the paper slip off the next question. “What is Remus Lupin first job?”

“The grammar of these questions is killing me. Um, I worked in the university bookstore during college.”

“On the list of ‘things that don’t surprise anyone’,” Dorcas joked.

“Did Remus Lupin go to college?”

Remus gave the camera a look. “First of all, I have a medical degree. Second of all, did people completely forget about the whole ‘about to be drafted right out of college’ thing? It was a grand total of four years ago! Google it!”

“That’s what they did,” Sirius pointed out, gesturing to the board.

“True.”

“Last one for this card: how old is Remus Lupin?”

Remus thought for a moment. “Y’know, I kind of lost track after the first few centuries. My turn…what is Sirius Black real name?”

Sirius glanced at the camera. “It’s Sirius Black? Is this a trick question?”

“There are people out there who think that’s a fake name,” Dorcas said.

“Um, okay. Yeah, my real name is Sirius Black, my brother is Regulus, my dad is Orion, and I have cousins named Andromeda and Bellatrix.”

“What’s your uncle’s name again?” Remus asked.

“Which one? Cygnus? Phineas Nigellus? Arcturus?” At Dorcas’ surprised look, he laughed. “Oh, I could go all day long with this. That’s the tea on old French families with weird-ass naming traditions.”

“This next one is similar: Sirius Black middle name?”

“Orion.”

“Fun fact: the first time I saw your full name, Moody had written it and I thought it said ‘onion’.” Remus laughed as Sirius’ jaw fell open. “Those three seconds were a highlight of my life. Alright, what’s next…what color are Sirius Black’s eyes?”

“Blue.”

Remus shook his head. “They’re gray, almost silver.”

“Basically blue.”

“There’s nothing basic about you, babe.” Remus slid the board onto the floor and passed Sirius a new one. “Hit me with your best shot.”

“Is Remus Lupin Canadian?”

“I wish.”

“Is Remus Lupin left-handed?”

“No, but a lot of people seem to think that I am.”

“Is—” Sirius cut off with a snort. “Is Remus Lupin scrappy?”

“Are you fucking with me?” Remus asked, leaning over. “Is that actually what it says?”

“Yep.”

“Scrappy? Really?” He shook his head, lost for words. “I mean, I guess. Nobody’s ever called me scrappy before.”

“I don’t like this last one. How much is Remus Lupin worth?” Sirius wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed his temple. “You’re priceless.”

“I’m worth at least half a PB & J, but only if you use the good peanut butter. If you use the shitty Skippy stuff, hand over the whole sandwich. My turn! Does Sirius Black have piercings?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Does Sirius Black have an Instagram?”

“I do. Sblack12, if you want to see pictures of my friends’ kids and this cutie.”

“Is Sirius Black Australian?”

“Fuck off. I’m French Canadian, how the hell did anyone think I was Australian?”

“Sirius Black birthday.”

“I have one.”

“What is it?” Marlene asked. “I’ll tell you your zodiac sign.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “November 3rd.”

“Scorpio bitch.”

“Hey!”

“On the bright side, Scorpios and Pisces are super compatible.”

“What a relief, I was really banking on our astrology compatibility,” Remus said drily.

Dorcas handed Sirius a fresh board. “First up: can Remus Lupin sing?”

“Eh.”

“The correct answer is yes. What is Remus Lupin like in real life?”

“I’m horrible. I kick every puppy I see and carry one of those sticky hands from arcades to steal candy from children.” A smile twitched at the edges of his mouth and Sirius’ cheeks turned pink from suppressing his laughter. “Like Spiderman, but evil.”

“What happened to Remus Lupin after college?”

“What didn’t happen to Remus Lupin after college?” he laughed, leaning back in his seat. “These past couple years have been bonkers fucking yonkers. I became a PT, got a secret boyfriend, and now I’m engaged and an NHL player. There were, like, three seasons of character development squished into eighteen months.”

“Alright, last one. Why Remus Lupin kissed Sirius Black?”

“Because he’s hot and nice. Also, because he’s my fiancé.”

“Is that the criteria for kisses?” Sirius asked. “I just have to be hot and nice?”

“Pretty much. You’ve got both boxes permanently checked.”

“Final card,” Dorcas warned as she handed it to him. “Make it count.”

Remus cleared his throat. “How does Sirius Black work out?”

“I rollerskate and hula hoop for six hours a day simultaneously.”

“How old is Sirius Black?”

“Ageless.”

“How did Sirius Black meet Remus Lupin?”

“Fun story, actually. You know the movie Ocean’s Eleven?”

“Are Sirius Black and James Potter—”

“Dating.”

“—still friends.”

“Damn, I thought I had that one.” He did a double take. “Still friends? What happened? I saw him an hour ago, tops.”

“You might have to google it,” Remus suggested as he slid the board across the floor. “That’s it!”

“Way to go, guys,” Dorcas laughed. “I know literally nothing new about you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius said as the two high-fived. “We were completely honest the whole time.”

She faced the camera with a poorly-hidden smile. “Thanks for joining us today, Lions, and remember to like and subscribe for more content!”

[toujourspur13]

The Black family / Walburga Black / canon.

As I said before I do not care that much about canon/fanon/headcanon because transformative works by definition include a wide variety of different interpretations. However, I am forever perplexed when I see uncompromising opinions on the Black family - particularly the unwavering certainty that Sirius Black’s parents were psychotic abusers. All personal opinions aside - why is this so popular?

I mean - it’s absolutely ok to headcanon this version and to play with it - but saying 'don’t you dare say they did not physically and emotionally abuse Sirius' is a little strong, isn’t it?

This is a mystery to me. So…let’s discuss my favourite subject…Again.

Let’s stick to the facts. The frequently cited things proving the abuse in the Black family are as follows:

Sirius said his parents were awful maniacs (pureblood ideology)

he ran away from home

he was severely depressed in OoTP

Kreacher

Portrait

So…when you say that Sirius’s parents were abusive…you mean exactly what? These people got cold feet when they saw the real nature of Voldemort - I guess it somehow implies that they did not share his methods…that they were against violence as a tool to get purebloods in charge.

But then it usually goes this way: ‘well at least he was verbally and emotionally abused by his family’ - but is it so? Is this based on the portrait of Sirius's mother? She insulted strangers who took over her house and her runaway son - how does this prove anything about how Sirius and Regulus were raised and treated when they were kids? I agree it’s rather impolite - jkr did a good job showing how purebloods perceived others ( those below them) -but in all honesty, this has very little to do with Sirius and his childhood.

Why to make Sirius a victim at all? - c’mon he was tougher than this, he spent 12 years in Azkaban; are you actually saying that a portrait throwing insults at everyone is worse? I doubt that. And is it such a surprise that a mother who lost her son (that said son actually ran away and abandoned his duty) would be that furious at him when seeing him again...even if it’s only a portrait...I believe it to be a rather unpleasant experience for a parent when a child runs away.

We already talked about the portrait a lot - I don’t even want to mention it here- - I feel we should rather pay more attention to the fact that Sirius himself was not an angel.

I am not saying the colourful vocabulary of Walburga Black should be used…but Sirius himself upon seeing Snape  immediately  recognised his weakness and went for it without any hesitation …we are talking about Sirius who in fact was quite a renowned bully ( I mean - we know for a fact that from time to time Sirius and James got carried away)…

And it was Sirius who sent Snape to meet and chat with a real werewolf (yes, I agree - he was not thinking this through - he probably was just vexed and fed up with Snape and thought he wouldn’t go there, would get cold feet or idk run away…But it actually changes nothing. If a drunken driver hits someone it will be 100% his fault whether he means it or not. Whether he is in a fragile mental state or not - such situations are definite. It’s the same with Sirius - even if he did not mean anything bad he should have understood the cost of his mistake - all teenagers make silly things but not all of them send their classmate to meet a werewolf - James thought it not a very good idea as I recall… -

So we see that Sirius was not an angel from the start and I can hardly believe he was a victim by nature. His behaviour loudly manifested that he used to get what he wanted with no thought of the consequences.

And all those pictures of bikini-clad girls on the walls in his room prove that he was quite a spoiled boy who had nothing to fear from mum and dad. Harry himself noticed «Sirius seemed to have gone out of his way to annoy his parents». All this shows that Sirius was not afraid of his parents at all. What kind of masochist would suffer for motorbike posters? That would be ridiculous.

Let’s move to Kreacher: If Sirius’s mother had been a monster why even mention her heart?  JKR wrote this for a purpose and this heavily implies that Sirius's situation was never meant to be ‘the abusive heartless parents vs the poor helpless victim’.  

The fact that Sirius ran away and hence broke his mother’s heart says against the popular idea that he was not loved by his family, that he was always the second one, that they abused him. I’m 100% certain that Kreacher told the truth in that scene. Why would he say something like this if it were not the truth - something like…that his beloved mistress having been so upset over Sirius running away that it broke her heart. Just tell me one reason that would have justified such a lie - why to say this at all?

Then this: “Leave?” Sirius smiled bitterly and ran a hand through his long, unkempt hair. “Because I hated the whole lot of them: my parents, with their pure-blood mania, convinced that to be a Black made you practically royal … my idiot brother, soft enough to believe them … that’s him.”…. “He was younger than me,” said Sirius, “and a much better son, as I was constantly reminded.”

I’ve already said it before - this ‘better son than me’ is exactly what insecure 14-year old kids like to say. Well...he’s a bit older but it’s not as if he had a life and a chance to mature. Moreover, I don’t know if it comes as a great shock but a lot of teenagers like to badmouth their parents…usually, it involves something like ‘those bloody uptight retrogrades know nothing of the real world’ (it fades away when they get closer to thirty).

To be serious, I find that it’s just another example of similarities between Sirius and his mother. They clearly did not know what it means to be composed, polite, and respectful. Yeah…I think that, on the whole, parents are owed their children’s respect (unless they are completely inadequate - somehow I don’t believe this was the case). Someone should teach both of them what mutual respect means. Anyway, there is nothing in this quote that says that Sirius was subjected to any forms of abuse - it’s about how Sirius justified his running away,  how he saw the situation.

There’s also the fact that Sirius was incredibly unhappy because he was back at his childhood home and having to spend time around anything that reminded him of his family: “Hasn’t anyone told you? This was my parents’ house,” said Sirius. “But I’m the last Black left, so it’s mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore for headquarters — about the only useful thing I’ve been able to do.” Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded”.

Here it comes…the severe depression that makes people question the severity of his abuse… I have thought a lot about this because it is the reason why some consider ‘the abusive blacks' canon while others believe it was more of a tragedy of the family rather than the banal brutality.

Of course, Sirius was upset in that house - but I don’t think he suffered the memories of his unhappy childhood - I think he suffered from the strong feeling of guilt. Being in that house meant an everyday reminder that he was a failure. And it’s not even a lie. If you look at his whole life you’ll see that he literally failed everyone in his life: he failed James and Lily - they were dead and he unwillingly became the reason. It was his plan that turned everything into a tragedy.

And, to some extent, he failed Harry- he was not around him like James and Lily would have wanted. Sirius did not give him the real family - he only promised they'd be the one «when it’s all over».

And finally - he failed his parents, his brother, his own family.

Is it possible to live with so much guilt in your heart?

I don't think that Sirius completely forgot who he was born to be. If the family keeps traditions and can trace its existence back in centuries you can't shake it off even if you want. I doubt Sirius switched it off just because he had griffindor friends. He was the last Black - it is tragically poetic that he was once the hope of his family and then this family died with him. If Sirius had heart (and I truly believe he had a heart) he knew exactly what it meant to be trapped in the house that represented the death of his family. A constant reminder  that he was the last one.  

“The others’ hushed voices were giving Harry an odd feeling of foreboding; it was as though they had just entered the house of a dying person”. 

I think that the scene when he threw his father's ring away - he threw it away because it was all over for his family. It was the end of the dynasty - and for him it was all over long before he met Bellatrix for the last time.

Well, I admit Sirius' situation is open for wide interpretation but I don’t think the abusive black household is a canon thing - of course, it’s fanon. It makes Sirius a hero who broke the chains when in fact he ended up being a victim of his own life.

You know, it always seems strange to me that fandom when discussing Walburga usually overlooks the simple truth of life - that even if you are clever enough and mean good for your loved ones it is still possible to end up on the losing side, on the dark side.  However, mistakes don't automatically turn humans into monsters.

To some extent Sirius’s story represents the consequences of war.  No-one is protected; the whole families could be wiped off the face of the earth. It’s a simple yet profound idea. It correlates with the main idea of hp books far better than the ‘abusive psychopaths’ (there are already Voldemort and Bellatrix - there is no-one who can beat them in this department).

All I say - it’s okay to imagine them bad if you want- your right - but don’t write everywhere that it’s canon because it is not.There is no need for such inflexibility especially when it comes to the fandom - a place where everyone should be welcomed and their views on the books be respected.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Christmas (one shot)

Harry Potter Marauders AU 

Request: (I am combining two requests on this one because they are similar) 

1.  idk if it taking requests and i don’t want to be told forward but do you think that maybe you could write one with the reader as James little sister where she’s dating regulus and when Sirius runs away during the winter he manages to get reg to go with him and it’s rly sweet bc they spend Christmas together and it’s like the start of them all becoming really close and Reggie becomes like an honorary gryffindor... 

2. So I had an request with Regulus where he is dating the sister of James, and in the Christmas break he tells it Walburga and Orion but they kick him out, and so he goes to her house, kinda like when Sirius did :)

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M- violence

________

Regulus stood outside of his mother’s sitting room working on getting the nerve to go inside. Today was the day that he would tell both Orion and Walburga about his relationship with you. It had been over a year of secrets and he was finally tired of it. Your parents were totally fine with the relationship so Regulus could only hope that his parents would be happy with his “happiness.”

You’re barking mad if you think that mum and dad will be happy. The Potter’s are blood traitors. They will flip.

Regulus had to shake the negative thoughts from his mind as he finally stepped into the room. Walburga sat beside her husband who was reading a newspaper. This was all that his parents seemed to do. Sit together but never speak. Regulus never understood it. When he started dating you his confusion over his parent’s odd relationship deepened. Regulus couldn't imagine just sitting beside you in silence every night.

Walburga looked up from the magazine that she was reading to gaze at her youngest son. It wasn’t often that Regulus appeared during her quiet time with Orion.

“What is it, Regulus?”

Regulus took a breath.

“I wanted to talk to you and dad about something.”

Orion put down his newspaper with a curious frown.

“Well, here we are. What is it?”

Regulus internally told himself to keep his nerve. If his parents could see that he wasn’t scared of them (like they wanted) maybe they would be a bit more perceptive to their son’s wants.

“I have a girlfriend. I’ve been dating a girl for over a year now. It's time for the two of you to know.”

Walburga immediately frowned.

“I see. We have promised you to…”

Regulus shook his head.

“I am not dating one of my cousins. I love the girl that I am with and want to be with her.”

Orion immediately crossed his arms over his chest.

“Who is she?”

“Y/n Potter.”

Both Walburga and Orion were on their feet in an instant. Walburga started screeching about the Potters being blood traitors.

“I forbid it! This relationship is over. You have no business in mixing with Potter trash.”

Regulus suddenly felt braver than he had in a long time.

“You don’t know her. Y/n is a wonderful girl. She’s smart, kind, beautiful...and she loves me.”

Orion sighed, putting a hand over his face.

“Is that what she told you? Regulus, love isn’t a real emotion. We have told you how some frivolous girl would use mentions of love to ensnare you into some trap. In this world there are only business arrangements. That’s what marriages are supposed to be about. If you let yourself become filthy by some blood traitor, no proper girl will want you.”

“I love her. Love is also very much real. I don’t care if the two of you don’t like it. You can hate it for all that I care. I will not give her up.”

(meanwhile)

Sirius lay on his bed throwing a small ball up in the air waiting for it to come back down. He was bored shitless and wanted nothing more than to get into something. The moment that he heard Regulus scream, Sirius sat up.

“Reg?”

He swung his feet over the edge of the bed and went into his brother’s room.

“Did you see a spider again, Reggie? I don’t think that it is going to get you.”

Sirius frowned, seeing no sign of Regulus in the room. His bed was neatly made and everything looked in order. Regulus screaming again made Sirius quickly turn and run down the stairs. He has a sickening feeling that he knew what was going on. Normally it was him who his mother enjoyed using as a punching bag. It was very few and far between when Walburga turned her wrath on her “favorite.”

Skidding into the sitting room, Sirius wanted to scream at the sight of his mother using the cruciatus curse on his little brother. Regulus lay in a fetal position bleeding from the nose and mouth while screaming for his mother to stop.

“Mother, stop it!”

Sirius snapped. Walburga and Orion, whom Sirius just realized was in the room, looked up to their eldest son.

“Go away, Sirius. Your brother is being punished and it's none of your concern.”

Sirius shook his head.

“When he’s bleeding from the nose, ears, and mouth it is my concern. Stop before you kill him.”

Orion finally spoke up,

“This is what he deserves for dating a blood traitor. Were you aware that your brother was dating the Potter girl?”

Sirius frowned. This is what it was about. His parents discovered Regulus’ romance with you and was having a fit. Sirius was worried that this would happen the moment that the two of you started dating. This was why Sirius begged Regulus to not breathe a word of this to their parents. How they found out, Sirius wasn’t for sure.

“Nothing is wrong with Y/n. Now stop before you kill him!”

(meanwhile)

You sat beside James as your mother put a plate of freshly made cookies in front of you. Euphemia smiled proudly.

“Enjoy you two. I know that I said no Christmas cookies before Christmas but you know that I can’t help it. I love cookies.”

James grinned and eagerly grabbed a cookie.

“Yes! I was hoping for cookies.”

He said gleefully as the doorbell rang. You quickly stood up.

“Keep stuffing your face. I’ll go get the door.”

James gave you a wide grin as you walked down the hallway to the front door as the knocking continued.

“Keep your shirt on, we are coming.”

You yelled as you opened the door. The moment the door was opened you instantly found yourself wanting to scream. Both Sirius and Regulus stood on the other side looking as if the shit had been knocked out of them.

“JAMES! MUM!”

You screamed before reaching out and tugging them both inside. Assessing the situation, Regulus looked a lot worse off than Sirius. Seeing your boyfriend like this was enough to make you want to sob.

“What happened? What is going on?”

You heard James and your mother running in from the living room. James was the first in the room and was as stunned as you. He made a b-line for his best friend as you continued to check Regulus’ normally flawless face for injuries.

Euphemia stood with her hands over her mouth before quickly “getting her head in the game.”

“James, Y/n, bring Sirius and Regulus into the living room. I’m going to get some towels.”

You quickly did as you were told. Wrapping an arm around Regulus’ waist, you stepped as close to him as possible.

“Love, please...what happened. You’re not talking and it's scaring me.”

Regulus tried to think past the pain that was going through his aching body.

“I told my parents about us.”

You could clearly see your mother spin around at the comment Regulus made. Euphemia was as stunned as you were. Sirius tossed his hair over his shoulder.

“Mum and dad used cruciatus curse on us then threw us out.”

Euphemia came back with a bunch of clean towels.

“I wouldn’t let the two of you go back anyway. There is no way that I could let either of you return to that house.”

“Mrs. Potter, we couldn’t impose…”

Regulus started but Euphemia cut him off.

“Nonsense. The two of you are staying. James, go tidy your room. I don’t want Sirius to break an ankle trying to move around in there.”

Sirius laughed at the expression on James’ face.

“I told you that you were messy.”

James grabbed his friend by the hand and tugged him into the room and closed the door. Euphemia turned back to face where Regulus stood quietly at your side.

“You two come with me.”

If anyone could patch Regulus up it would be your mother. Euphemia was perfect at healing spells. After having James Potter for a son, she had to learn a thing or two quickly before her only son bled out.

“What happened to make your mother do something like this, dear?”

Euphemia asked as she gently took a towel and dabbed at Regulus’ bloody nose. Regulus winced at the bit of pain that went through his face. Euphemia stopped, having a feeling that the boy’s nose was broken.

“The truth?”

Regulus questioned. Euphemia smiled.

“That would be lovely. After you get done tell me what the truth is then maybe you can enlighten my son a bit. His stories are getting a little old. He needs new material.”

Euphemia was relieved when Regulus smiled at that.

“I can understand that. His excuse for making a bad grade on a test before Christmas was something about asbestos.”

Euphemia chuckled.

“You’ve heard that one too.”

Regulus was silent a moment longer before deciding that it was best to tell Euphemia what actually happened. She would find out soon enough and it wasn’t like she was going to hit him. Euphemia didn’t seem like a mother that would beat her children. She was nothing like his mother.

“I told my mother that I was dating Y/n. My parents said that your family is…”

Euphemia pursed her lips having a feeling where this was going.

“Let me guess, blood traitors.”

Regulus blushed before looking down. He didn’t even want to say yes to this. For once, everything that his family stood for was nothing that he wanted to be a part of any longer.

“Yes...I don’t feel that way though. I love Y/n and I want to be with her.”

Euphemia patted his shoulder.

“No need to fret, dear. I didn’t think of you in that way at all. You may be your mother’s son but you are not her. Now I’m going to fix your nose then you two need to get some rest.”

(5 minutes later)

You stepped into your bedroom followed by Regulus. He was still holding a blood-soaked towel under his nose.

“Are you alright?”

You asked. Regulus nodded then shook his head. He looked down at his still trembling hands. He sat down on the bed before he fell down.

“No, I’m not alright. No parent should treat their kid like this. I shouldn’t be beaten to hell for being in love with you.”

You quickly took your place on his lap. Placing a leg on either side of Regulus’ body, you sat up enough to gently cradle his head against your chest. Stroking your fingers through his hair, you gently whispered that everything would be fine. Whether Regulus believed it or not you weren't sure.

“None of my friends will probably talk to me again.”

Regulus finally said in a sad defeated tone. He knew that Evan would probably give him the tongue lashing of a lifetime for doing something to be kicked out of such a prestigious family. If Evan spoke to him after that would be a great question in itself. Barty would find this the perfect chance to take Regulus’ place. He had been desperate to do it for years so why would he wait?

“You can stay with my friends. They won’t mind. James already is cool with us being together. He just had to get over that initial older brother issue.”

Regulus wasn’t sure how hanging out with a herd of Gryffindor’s would go but at the moment it didn’t seem as if he had much of a choice. He would be with you...that would be the main perk. Now he didn’t have to say goodbye again and wonder if his parents were going to hang him for being your boyfriend.  

“That’s good to know. I’m sorry that he had to find out by catching us snogging.”

You were relieved to see a smile spread across Regulus’ face.

“He just had to sit quietly for a moment.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. James had to sit quietly whenever you did something questionable. Regulus pulled his attention off of James. As much as he was relieved to apparently have James Potter in his corner now, Regulus didn’t want to think about him at the moment. He had a feeling that he was going to be watched by James anytime the two of you were within inches of each other. This was going to make snogging be a bit difficult. Hopefully, he wouldn’t just come bursting into the room at any given time.

Looking around your room, Regulus couldn’t help but smile. Everything was comfy and screamed your name. For the first time, in a long time, Regulus felt safe. Knowing that he didn’t have to go back home was a welcomed thought.

Your fingers unbuttoning his shirt quickly got Regulus’ attention. He watched with amused eyes as you pushed the garment off of his shoulders.

“What are you doing? I don’t think messing around tonight would be a good idea. I would hate for your father to walk in with me between your legs.”

You blushed before pulling Regulus into a kiss. Everything seemed to even out at this moment. Regulus’ trembling hands seemed to steady as he wrapped an arm around your waist to keep your body against his.

“Oh, we aren’t having sex tonight. You need some rest.”

You kissed Regulus once more before getting off of his lap to pull down the duvet. Regulus smirked when he noticed the bunny-themed sheets.

“Bunnies?”

You blushed.

“I’ve had these for years.”

“I like them.”

Regulus commented before taking his place on the side of the bed by the door. He knew that he had nothing to protect you from in your home but it felt right sleeping on this side.

“You do not.”

You replied with a snort before getting into bed beside him and snuggling down to his chest. Regulus’ long fingers toyed with your hair.

“I do because it's all you. Everything about you is good...except when you're hungry then you get a little mouthy.”

The two of you laughed quietly until Regulus turned on his side. He was more than ready to go to sleep and forget the bad part of the current day.

“Want to know the best part about this arrangement other than not having to be apart?”

“What’s that?”

Regulus asked with a yawn.

“We get to have our first Christmas together. Happy Christmas a day early.”

Regulus kissed your forehead before snuggling back into the pillow.

“Happy Christmas, darling.”

_________

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fific7 @realgaytrash @lucasfilms77 @quuenofblacks @jessyballet @knreidy1 @acciosiriusblack @whymyparentscheckmyphone @criminalyetminimal @bennyberry @teletubiswszpilkach @exhsle @hazncalsgal @rubyroscoe1 @spiderxalmighty @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @hankypranky @summer-novak @li0nh34rt @tas898 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @deanwherescas @stuckinsaudi1 @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[wolfstarflowerpottstarchaser]

An Introduction to the Marauders Tragedy For New Fans Part 2: Sirius Black

Sirius Black was born to Walburga and Orion Black

He also had a brother one year below him, Regulus

Sirius noted they were not close but Regulus was the “better son”

The House of Black were a notably pure-blood family who were advocates for pure-blood elitism and hated muggles and muggle-born

They were so pro-pure-blood, in fact, that they often married within their bloodline to keep the family “pure” (side note: Walburga and Orion were second cousins which is nasty and illegal in muggle law) and disowned squib and “blood traitor” children

Sirius rejected these ideals from a young age, much to the dismay (putting it lightly) of his parents

While not much is known specifically about Sirius’s home life, many feel it is implied that he suffered emotional abuse, especially from his mother who it is suggested he holds particular hatred toward

Sirius did not get along with his family for the most part with the exception of his cousin Andromeda (sister of Narcissa and Bellatrix)

However, when she married the muggle-born wizard Ted Tonks, she was disowned from the family and he rarely saw her, making him feel isolated

In 1971, Sirius joined Hogwarts and was Sorted into Gryffindor house, the first in his family not to make Slytherin house

This further ostracised him from his family and caused more issues for his home life

Silver lining: he met fellow Gryffindors, Remus, James and Peter

Over time, Sirius became really popular and was noted to be very handsome and intelligent

By sixteen, Sirius’s home life had become so unbearable that he ran away and moved in with the Potters

James’s parents, Fleamont and Euphemia, loved Sirius and took him in as their own

Following Sirius’s choice to move in with a “blood traitor” family, his mother removed him from the family tree, officially disowning his as her son forever

Like the other Marauders, Sirius joined the Order immediately after finishing school

In 1979, Regulus died

Sirius believed that Regulus had been killed because he became a Death Eater, but was too cowardly for it and thus executed

In truth (though no one would know until 1997) Regulus had, at sixteen, discovered the truth about Voldemort’s horcruxes and had died tragically after trying to destroy one

Sirius never knew this and died believing his little brother to have died a Death Eater

Fast forward and he’s James’s best man, and the Godfather to his son, Harry

Euphemia and Fleamont, the only parental figures who had ever loved and cared for him, died shortly after the wedding

The war was more brutal than ever. Everyone was tense. People were under the imperious curse. Brothers betrayed brothers. Families were slaughtered.

This took a toll on Sirius and, when they discovered a ‘rat’ in the Order, he grew suspicious of Remus Lupin

This one mistake would result in murder, wrongful imprisonment, and a child being orphaned

The prophecy was (partly) known by Voldemort who swore to kill Harry Potter, believing him to be his downfall

James and Lily went into hiding and asked Sirius to be their Secret Keeper

Here’s what ‘secret keeper’ means -

James and Lily could choose ONE person as their “secret keeper” and would tell them where they were hiding. As long as the SK told no one, it would be impossible for anyone else to find them. Even if Voldemort pressed his face up against the window, he would not be able to see them unless the SK told him specifically where to go

This is where Sirius’s mistake came in...

Sirius declined the offer to be SK as he said everyone knew they were the closest and he was sure to be the first person interrogated

Instead, he suggested they let everyone believe that he was the SK, but to ask someone else

At this point, he (wrongly) mistrusted Remus, so suggested they use Peter who was (unbeknownst to them) the real spy in the Order

On Halloween night 1981, Sirius went to visit Peter and felt some was wrong when he was not there

He went to Godric’s Hollow and found that Voldemort had killed an unarmed James and Lily but failed to kill Harry

He saw the lifeless body of the man he considered a brother, and a woman he considered a great friend, and his crying orphaned son...

...and he blamed himself entirely

Despite the guilt and grief, his first instinct was to protect Harry and, as his Godfather, immediately intended to adopt him and care for him

At this point, Hagrid arrived to take Harry away to which Sirius fought, declaring himself as Harry’s guardian

Hagrid told him that Dumbledore had arrangements for him and (since everyone trusts Dumbledore for some reason) Sirius finally handed him over

He set off to confront Peter who had betrayed them and indirectly murdered James and Lily who had loved him

Despite what many believe, Peter was not dim witted. In fact, he outsmart Sirius and framed him for the murder of himself and twelve muggles

Before faking his death, Peter shouted that Sirius had betrayed and killed the Potters, framing him for his own crimes

Sirius was captured and given no trial

Despite having access to veritaserum (truth potion) no effort was made to question Sirius and he was sent to life imprisonment

Adding insult to injury, while Sirius was imprisoned for the murder of two of his closet friends, the true criminal Peter was awarded the Order of Merlin, First Class

Everyone, even Sirius’s last friend Remus, believed that it had been Sirius who committed the heinous crime

He spent twelve years in Azkaban in solidarity confinement with dementors who are the embodiment of depression

During this time, he kept sane by focusing on his innocence

In 1993, Sirius discovered that Peter (in animagus form) was with Harry at Hogwarts, and he immediately escaped to go to Hogwarts

Immediately.

To clarify, Sirius had the ability to leave Azkaban at any point over the previous twelve years, but he stayed willingly

He voluntarily tortured himself for twelve years as he blamed James and Lily’s deaths on himself

After a year of hiding and trying to confront Peter and talk to Harry, Sirius was finally successful and even Remus realised he was innocent!

He was about to be proven innocent, and would be able to adopt Harry who still lived with the abusive Dursleys

End of story! Happy ending!

Ha, I wish

So everything was going well and it seemed like Sirius was going to be proven innocent

Until a series of unfortunate events (see Remus Lupin) happened and Peter escaped, and so did his chance of freedom

Snape, who still hated him, would not listen to Remus, Sirius or the Golden Trio, and was visibly delighted to announce Sirius would have his soul sucked from his body (extremely painful) via the Dementor’s Kiss

He escaped with help, but had to remain in hiding and thus could not adopt Harry - something that devastated both of them

Sirius rejoined the Order in 1995, but was unable to leave the house due to being the most Undesirable (wanted) Wizard in the UK

He fell into a visible depression and felt useless

Before Harry’s fifth year, he gave him a present, but Harry never opened it

In 1996, Voldemort tricked Harry into believing he was torturing Sirius in the Department of Mysteries

Due to a variety of unlucky circumstances, Harry was unable to contact Sirius and left to go protect him, walking right into Voldemort’s trap

Sirius, along with other Order members, went to the Department of Mysteries to help Harry

He was shot with an unknown spell by his cousin, Bellatrix, and subsequently fell through the Veil in the Death Chamber, killing him

After Sirius’s death, Harry found the present he had never opened and decided to look at it

It was a two-way communicating mirror which would work similar to muggle video chat, meaning Harry had a way to contact Sirius and never would have gone to the Ministry and thus Sirius would not have died

This also means Sirius spent his last year waiting for Harry to talk to him, but was instead lonely

[the-most-slytherin-hufflepuff]

Open your eyes (Chapter 4)

I managed to finish this chapter finally. I hope you guys enjoy it... cause shit is about to go down. Anyway here you go. Characters belong to @lumosinlove

Masterlist

The return to Slytherin wasn’t loud. 

It wasn’t full of praise for Sirius and his friends, or pity and happiness for Regulus. It was dark, in the cloak of the early night when no one would see them come or go. Sirius wanted time for Reg to adjust before being thrown into the center of attention. Remus could understand that, it was sound logic. They didn’t really know how long it had been since the spell wore off, how long Regulus had been out of Lestrange’s claws. So they rode their horses in silence, trying to keep to the shadows, hoods pulled over their heads to obscure their features.

They arrived at the Dumais home quickly after entering the Citadel. Remus had never met Celeste Dumais, for all the time he spent with Pascal and Logan in the last three years Celeste was still just a name in passing to him. Until now. The woman that received them at the steps of the house had dark gentle eyes. She wore a green dress, not the royal color of Slytherin’s banner, more like the blue-green color of still ponds when night started falling. Calm, steady. 

She hugged Regulus tightly, wrapping around him and holding him close. Not unlike how Hope held Remus after a particularly bad nightmare. She waved them inside with a gentle smile, stopping Remus to whisper something to him. “Your brother arrived last night.” Remus nodded. He had asked Pascal if maybe Julian could stay with them to try and help Regulus cope with everything, the man had agreed immediately and Remus hadn’t wasted any time to send his brother the letter. 

When he crossed into the small living room he found his little brother, wearing a pair of brown pants and a white shirt with no shoes, sprawled on the ground along two of the Dumais children. A girl, who Remus suspected was Katie and Marc. Remus and Marc had met only once around two years ago, but the boy had rarely changed in appearance. Calliope laid curled up between them, giving a content huff when Katie scratched behind her ears. 

“You have a dragon?” Logan stared at the three with a stunned look that made Julian snicker. 

Remus walked forward, picking Calliope from the floor gently and letting her rest around his shoulders. He got closer to Logan, Calliope eyed him for a moment and then leaped down from Remus’s shoulders to Logan’s head, nuzzling her snout in his hair and coiling herself on his shoulder. Leo cooed at her, patting her side gently while Finn just looked on with a fond look. 

“Alright”, Celeste said, pulling everyone’s attention to her, “dinner will be served shortly and after that sleeping arrangements will be figured out. Kids go wash up.” 

Julian, Katie, and Marc got up, running to the washroom in a mess of light shoves and giggles. Celeste stared after them fondly and then turned on her heel, walking to another room and leaving the group alone. Regulus sat down heavily, letting himself flop to the side on the couch in a very unprincely manner. He groaned, smothering his face in one of the pillows and letting his hands drop to the sides. “M’so tired”, he muttered, words muffled by the ornate cushion, “can I just go to bed?” 

Sirius grabbed the cushion from his brother’s face with an amused smile. “You heard Celeste. Sleeping arrangements after dinner.” 

“But I already know whe—” 

Celeste came into the living room, interrupting what Regulus was about to say. “Come on, dinner is ready.”

~*~*~*~*~*

Regulus flopped down on the bed, pressing his forearm over his eyes. Celeste had given him his usual room, the same one he used to share with Sirius when they told their father they would go on a hunt, but were really visiting the Dumais family. He smiled a little at the memory. 

Dinner had gone alright, if not a little awkward for Regulus. Everyone else seemed to know each other well and it made him feel a bit out of place. That was of course until the dragon decided to jump down from Logan and jump onto Regulus’s lap and stay there for the rest of dinner, after that it had been a little easier for him. He had never expected to feel so at home surrounded by so many magic users, with a baby dragon napping on him, especially not after the last few months, but they made it easy. 

He heard a soft, almost timid knock, on his door. “Come in.”

The door opened, the hinges creaking softly, and in stepped Julian Lupin with Calliope perched on his shoulders. “Hey”, he said, waving shyly at Regulus. “I thought you could use some company.” He grabbed the small black dragon from his back and let her fall gracefully to the floor. She walked to the foot of his bed and leapt onto the mattress, snuggling up to Regulus’s leg. “She likes you a lot”, Julian commented, sitting down on the chair besides the bed. 

Regulus looked down at her, running his fingers down her spine gently. “I always thought dragons would be bigger… and mean.” 

Julian laughed under his breath. “They are pretty big. She’s just a baby still.” 

Regulus looked at him, hesitant. “If she’s just a baby then why would you trust me to be near her”, his voice had dropped at the end, Julian still heard it. 

“I don’t really have much say on who she chooses to spend time with”, he shrugged, “she’s her own being, intelligent. She trusts you for a reason and I’m not going to question it.” Julian smiled at him, it reminded Regulus of Sirius a little. “She’s a good judge of character.” 

“You’re a good kid”, Regulus said, voice a little breathless, he wasn’t used to people being nice. Much less being nice to him, not even his father. 

Julian beamed at him. “I would like to think so.” He grabbed Calliope and settled her on Regulus’s shoulders. “Come on, Katie and Marc missed you. Pretty sure Adele and Loui are two seconds away from barging in here and hugging you to death. You can’t hide in here all night.” 

“M’not hiding.” 

Julian just raised an eyebrow at him, just like Remus did when Regulus grumbled about the medicine for his nightmares. He turned around and headed for the door, Regulus following behind him. “Oh, before I forget”, he looked back over his shoulder, “call me Jules.” 

~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning Sirius couldn’t find Regulus anywhere. He would have panicked if he hadn’t known his brother was still inside the house. He walked over to Katie’s room, knocking on the wooden door gently. There was some rustling from inside, a small giggle and then the door was heaved open by Marc and Adele. “Is Regulus here?” 

Adele nodded, looking over her shoulder at something that made her smile, another giggle spilling from her lips. Sirius looked inside the room. Regulus was lying asleep on the big white carpet that Katie kept besides her bed. Julian was sprawled by his side, head resting on Regulus’s chest. Katie had curled up besides him, her arm thrown lazily over him, her hand was resting on Julian’s forehead. Sirius was taken back to when he and Regulus were younger and would wake up in similar positions with a much smaller Katie draped over both of them like a human blanket. 

Sirius didn’t want to wake him up. Quite frankly he didn’t want his brother back in the palace or anywhere near their father. Regulus had magic, there was no question about that, and Sirius didn’t want him to be around their father’s all encompassing hatred for anything magical. Reg had gone through enough during his time in the Lestrange estate. Sirius didn’t miss the far away looks and the flinching every time there was a sudden noise. He entered the room quietly, noticing that Calliope was also a part of the tangle of limbs where she had curled up between Reg and Julian. 

When Sirius reached their side he crouched down near Regulus’s leg, far away from everyone’s arm reach, and tapped his knee gently. His brother stirred and then settled again. “Reg”, Sirius whispered, tapping his knee again, “wake up.” 

Regulus grumbled in annoyance, peeking one eye open and groaning under his breath when he saw Sirius. “Leave me alone.” 

“We have to go.” Sirius poked at his rib with the toe of his boot. “Get up.” 

“Can’t”, he said, motioning lazily to the two teenagers and the dragon that had decided to tangle themselves around Regulus. 

“I’m giving you the time it takes us to get the horses ready to get up. If you’re not ready by then I’m dragging you out of here.” 

“You wouldn’t dare”, Regulus challenged.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. Luckily for me Lily and Remus would dare”, Sirius had to bite down a smirk when Reg’s triumphant look disappeared. “So you better not be sleeping still when I get back.” 

“Threatening me with magic is treason, Sirius.” 

“So is harboring sorcerers, idiot”, Sirius replied in a teasing tone, “and I’m already hiding the magic of three potentially four. We’re past the point of treason.” 

“Fine”, Regulus grumbled, “I’ll get up.” 

“Good. You really don’t want to get dragged out of sleep by magic.” 

Regulus smirked. “Speaking from personal experience there, eh?”

”Perhaps”, was all Sirius said before walking out of the room. 

~*~*~*~*~*

Regulus held his breath for a few seconds, then nodded at Sirius. He looked back at the people behind him with a weary look. He was nervous to be back at the palace after months of being around Bellatrix. 

Now that he knew he had magic the palace didn’t seem welcoming, not that it had been very warm or pleasant anyway. But at least before it didn’t feel like he was walking to his own death sentence. Sirius put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He let it fall to the rains of his horse and rode forward, leading the group into palace grounds and to where he could see Orion waiting. 

The king’s expression when he saw them didn’t change, his eyes remained as cold and sharp as ever, but Sirius noticed his shoulder slump ever so slightly in relief. Their friends hung back while Sirius and Regulus went to their father’s side, dismounting the horses and bowing their heads in respect.

 The king hugged Regulus close, not caring about the people around them. He placed a hand on his son’s back and guided him inside the palace, nodding at Sirius with a thankful expression. There was a proud gleam in his eyes. Sirius almost believed it was real. He nodded back, dipping his head in another bow before his father left, taking Regulus with him. 

No one missed the way Regulus tensed under his father’s touch. 

~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius took a deep breath, looking around the room. There was a bad feeling simmering just under his skin. After his father had announced the feast in honor of Reg’s return things had started moving too fast. The servants ran up and down corridors preparing the Hall and decorating the palace. The kitchens had been busy with food preparations and every Lord and Lady in the kingdom had confirmed their attendance to the feast. The feast he was sitting in now. It was a perfect storm for something to go incredibly wrong incredibly fast. People were happy and joyful. 

There’s more to lose when things are going great. 

Sirius saw Lily’s eyes flash dangerously in the direction of the high table, only for a moment but Sirius still caught it. Like always there was fire behind her gaze, and being in Orion’s presence had made the flames grow aggressively. The king didn’t seem to notice, too enraptured in the almost happiness of having his son back after so long. Sirius looked at Regulus from the corner of his eyes, sitting on their father’s left side while Sirius sat at his right. 

His eyes shifted to look down at the hall before him, painted in silver and green from the decorations and orange from the torches and lanterns. The feast had started less than an hour ago and Sirius already wanted to leave, take his friends and brother with him to anywhere else but this hall. Filled with lords and ladies that kept sneaking glances at the high table, at Sirius and Regulus. They looked at Sirius with something akin to awe and at Regulus with almost pity. No one missed the sunken cheeks, dark eyes, and tired posture the boy had. No one knew what he had gone through, not even Sirius, he just had an idea. And the idea was horrifying enough. 

King Orion stood up from his seat, silver goblet in hand and an almost real smile on his lips. “Friends, we are here tonight to celebrate the return of my son.” He turned ever so slightly and looked down at Regulus. Sirius watched his brother’s shoulders straighten a little, and an almost convincing smile pulled at Regulu’s lips. “For months his brother has looked for him and now he is here, back home where he belongs.” Orion lifted his goblet in, voice thundering across the hall. “To Sirius, for doing an excellent job in his quest.” The guest yelled his name, Sirius almost believed his father’s praise. “And to Regulus. Welcome home.” 

Before anyone could respond the doors of the hall slammed open. Silence fell, too loud in Sirius’s ears, and then footsteps. Light, graceful, the slightest thud of leather against stone. A woman’s voice spoke and a shiver ran down Sirius’s spine, dread pooling in his gut. “Dear uncle”, Bellatrix said, voice almost melodic, “why was I not informed of this… wonderful feast. The return of your son. I thought family would have a place at your table.” 

~*~*~*~*~*

Remus heard Leo give a low curse, shoulders tensing. The feast had been relatively peaceful so Leo’s change in demeanor made him feel uneasy. His blue eyes scanned the room frantically looking for something. What that was, Remus had absolutely no idea. He heard the king speak, heard the deafening response of the gathered crowd and then the king spoke again but it was all distant to him. A whisper of nothing, because Leo had trained his eyes on the door and his hands had twitched and before Remus could ask anything he felt it. Strong, poisonous, electric, and dark. Bellatrix was in the palace. 

He leaned to the side to whisper to Lily. He didn’t get to say anything, the doors opened, slamming against the stone wall, the sound shaking the room into a deafening silence. The toxic yellow color of her magic bleeding out of her dark silver irises. The room held its breath while she talked, looking at the king, the joy he had on his face at the beginning of the evening disappearing like it had never existed. His eyes were back to the cold, sharp silver blades that had plagued the nightmares of so many for decades. “Witch”, he hissed at Bellatrix. 

The words made her laugh, though it sounded more like a cackle. Remus had to tune her out, her voice made shivers run down his spine and pins prickle at his skin, leaving his brain useless. He needed to think, come up with something to get the woman out of the Hall. Because Reg had started shaking in his seat and Sirius was staring at Remus with an almost terrified expression. He touched the tip of his fingers to Lily’s arm, let his foot knock against Leo’s, the two turned to stare at him, Lily’s eyes lingering on Bellatrix for a moment. 

Her hands balled into fists, golden flames starting to lick into the green of her eyes, magic bubbling to the surface. Remus pressed his fingers under hers, making her hands relax enough for him to hold them as tightly as he could to try and keep her grounded. The message was clear, no magic, not where they can see. 

Remus tuned back to hear the last of  Bellatrix’s words. “You sit there all high and mighty, wearing a crown that does not belong to you.” Her cheerful tone from earlier had devolved into something like a hiss, as toxic and poisonous as her. 

Remus saw the moment her eyes shifted, not the acid color of her magic, this was something different, evil. She began chanting, a string of unintelligible words spewing from her mouth in what Remus recognized as an ancient spell. Black magic taking over her eyes like bleeding ink on a page. A piercing scream tore through the hall, it came from nowhere and everywhere at the same time, leaving Remus disoriented and dazed. What happened next went by too fast for him to process. Orion fell to the ground, head banging against the table and then the stone floor making Remus wince. That was a nasty concussion that would need a lot of time to heal if the king survived. Regulus and Sirius’s eyes rolled back in their sockets and they slumped against their chairs, looking lifeless except for the weak rise and fall of their chests. 

Someone screamed and then all hell broke loose. 

The first to stand were the knights, splitting up into two groups. One half attempting to guide the distressed guest away, who were running around in a panic and the other half facing down the woman that stood at the center of the chaos, yellow eyes gleaming. Logan faced her while the other knights formed a tight circle around her. 

Finn watched as Logan faced down the woman, his green eyes sharp and measuring. A heavy feeling set in Finn’s stomach, Bellatrix’s yellow eyes sending chills down his spine. He grabbed onto Leo’s hand tightly, letting his eyes stray from Logan for a second to look at his fiancé. “Can you do something”, he didn’t bother keeping his voice down, the only people left in the hall apart from them were the knights, the royal family and his friends. 

Leo shook his head, blue eyes swimming with flecks of deep gold. Ready to sacrifice everything for Logan. “No”, he choked out, “not with so many people in the room.” 

The air around the room became agitated, swirling around Bellatrix and kicking up dirt and dust. “Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine, little knight”, she cooed, a mad glint in her gaze. “You’d be a fool to try and stop me.” A cackle spilled from her lips, making Finn shiver. “These halls will soon be painted with your blood, little knight.” She smirked, and then she was gone in nothing but a flash of dust and lightning.  

~*~*~*~*~*

Remus was the first to move, standing and walking up the stone dais and behind the high table. He spared a glance at the princes, eyes lingering on Sirius’s slumped body, before kneeling beside the king and carefully checking his head for any major wounds. Two knights stood behind him, waiting for him to finish his examination, he nodded at them and stood up, stepping away to check on Regulus, letting the knights handle taking the king to Minerva’s chambers.

Regulus seemed to be alright, other than the magic induced sleep he was in, there was nothing that pointed to a bigger problem, but Remus wasn’t a healer and magic tended to go deep below the surface where no eye could see. He looked around the hall until his eyes met Leo’s and motioned for him to come over. The hall had been emptied after the king got carried out, the only people left were his friends and Pascal, who looked at Logan with worried eyes. 

Leo walked up to Remus. “Want me to check them over?” Remus nodded, shooting him a thankful look. Leo smiled back, gold starting to bleed into his blue irises and got to work. 

Finn held Logan close to his chest, the shorter man shaking and gripping onto Finn’s red shirt like a lifeline. Bellatrix’s words seemed to echo around the room, Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine, little knight. She was planning something, an invasion most likely, and she was definitely getting help from the spirit. Logan took a deep breath and untangled himself from Finn’s arms. “Let’s take Reg and Sirius to Sirius’s chambers.” Away from prying ears and eyes went unsaid. What Leo had been doing was fairly innocent, if you didn’t see the gold of his eyes you’d never know he was using magic, but Logan wasn’t taking his chances. 

Leo nodded for them to help him carry Regulus. Remus went to get Sirius with Lily’s help. The group carried the princes to Sirius’s chambers in silence, a heavy feeling settling over them like a bunch of stones. The moment they entered the room the air seemed to lighten, if only a little. They wouldn’t have to hide here, they could talk and plan like they usually did. They laid the brothers down on the bed gently, letting Leo continue with whatever it was he had been doing in the hall. 

“We need to get these protection charms as soon as possible”, Remus said, breaking the silence that had settled over them back in the hall. 

Remus let his eyes stray to Sirius’s face. He looked asleep, but not peaceful. He also noticed how pale Regulus had gotten. “What’s wrong?” Leo didn’t seem to hear him, he watched Regulus’s face calmly, looking for something. Remus looked at the younger boy, pale face, gaunt cheeks, dark under eyes, pinched face, clammy skin. A nightmare. Regulus was having a nightmare, a vision maybe, and Leo was just watching him. “Leo what are you doing?” 

“Waiting.”

“For what?” 

“For the vision to be over”, Leo answered. Remus saw something like worry flickered across his blue eyes, he didn’t want to keep Reg in that nightmare, he just didn’t have a choice. 

Regulus’s eyes flew open, a harsh gasp falling from his lips. He sat up, looking around the room frantically, breathing heavy. Leo put a hand on his arm gently. “You’re safe.” Blue eyes studied Regulus’s carefully, watched his shoulders tense, and then relax the moment the words registered in his head. “Do you want to talk about it?” Regulus shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. “Ok”, Leo let go of his arm, moving to stand besides Sirius who was still asleep, “you don’t have to talk.” 

Leo placed his hand on Sirius’s forehead, eyes glowing gold. Sirius gave a low groan, silver eyes fluttering open. Remus was at his side in an instant, placing a hand on his shoulder. He itched to gather Sirius up in his arms, but he couldn’t, not until his boyfriend was more aware of his surroundings. The man tensed under his palm for the second it took him to realize who it was. Sirius turned to look at Remus, grey eyes tired. “What happened?” 

“Bellatrix knocked you out and then threatened the entire kingdom. So you know, the usual.” 

“Great”, he said with a tired sigh. “What now.” 

“Well I’m going to talk to June about the charms. We need them as soon as possible”, he spared a glance at Logan who was now talking with his partners. “We’re going to need help with this battle, the knights of Slytherin know nothing about fighting magic users.” 

“I can go back to Ravenclaw to look for James”, Lily said, “maybe Thomas is with him.” 

Remus nodded, giving her a small grateful smile. “Finn”, he looked at the redhead, “do you think Alex can come?” 

“Sure”, Finn shrugged, “he’s always looking for an excuse to get into a fight.” 

Leo whispered something to Logan, a question apparently since the shorter man nodded in response. Remus decided he would ask later, when they had a more solid plan of action. Remus felt Sirius’s arm wrap around his waist, his head settling against Remus’s hip. “How long do you think we have, before she comes back I mean.” 

“As far as we know she’s working alone at the moment”, Lily answered, “Spirits can only do so much, fighting a whole army on her own would be stupid on her part.” 

“So we would have some time to form a plan and get backup?” Sirius frowned slightly, this felt a little too easy. He thought back to earlier that week, when they had rescued his brother. Getting into the house hadn’t been exactly simple, but getting out had. Bellatrix hadn’t been lying on the ground when they left the estate, that had left Sirius feeling uneasy. “Does anyone else feel like this is too simple?” 

“Definitely”, Logan answered, “she’s planning something else. Slytherin’s throne will soon be mine”, he said, repeating Lestrange’s words, “she doesn’t just want the throne. She wants the royal family dead.” 

“What about the other thing she said?” 

Leo answered Lily’s question, a somber look on his face. “These halls will soon be painted with your blood.” 

Lily thought about it. It had sounded like a threat to Logan, but maybe—. “What she said, it was a promise.” 

“Of what?” 

Lily looked at Logan. “She’s going to destroy Slytherin, everything that Orion built. This kingdom was built on blood and war, she’s going to take it all down. Starting by erasing Orion and his bloodline.” 

“She wants to build a safe haven for all magic kind”, Remus added, “but she’s doing it wrong.” 

Leo hugged Logan from behind when he noticed the other man tense at Remus’s words. Leo had almost forgotten that just a few weeks prior Logan had been a part of the problem, it seems Logan hadn’t. The thought made Leo’s chest ache. “As much as we want Slytherin to be safe for us, this isn’t the way to do it”. Leo heard Logan exhale shakily at his words. “You can’t fix something by doing the same thing that ruined it in the first place.” 

“Leo’s right”, Remus said, running his finger soothingly through Sirius’s dark hair, “she can’t just take over and expect all of the people in this kingdom to accept it. Being violent is just adding wood to the fire, and killing Orion is a mistake.” 

“I never thought I’d agree with those words”, Lily said with a little humor. “I can assure you, she will kill anyone that opposes her.” 

“We can’t let that happen”, Sirius said, a determined gleam in his eyes, “we need to get everyone out. Especially the people in the lower town, she will go for them first.” 

Logan leaned back into Leo’s chest, a crease of worry in his face. “We can take them to Salazar’s fortress. It’s close to the river Godric, which solves the water problem.” 

“I can stay with them”, Regulus piped up, “I’ll be more useful there anyway.” 

Lily nodded. She walked to the door, pulling it open. “I’m going to go rest. I leave for Ravenclaw in the morning, it’s a long trip but I’ll try to be back as soon as possible.” She shot them a tired smile and left, the door closing with a loud thud behind her. 

“We should all go to sleep”, Regulus said, getting up. He stumbled slightly, regaining his balance quickly and walking to the door. “We have a long week ahead of us.” 

Everyone else followed after Regulus until the room was empty except for Sirius and Remus. Sirius scooted a little to the side to give his boyfriend space to lie down on. Remus did, wrapping his arms around Sirius when he laid his head on Remus’s chest. He gave a tired sigh, snuggling closer to his boyfriend. “I’m worried about Reg. He still won’t talk about his nightmares.” 

Remus tangled his fingers in Sirius’s hair. “Give him time, love . He’ll tell you when he’s ready.”

Sirius made a noncommittal sound. Remus could see a small crease of worry between his brows. Remus let his fingers tangle even more in Sirius’s dark curls, scratching against his scalp gently in soothing patterns. Sirius made a small tired humm, nuzzling his face into Remus’s chest. His breath evened out when he fell asleep, his shoulders relaxing, letting all the stress from the last few months bleed out of his body. Remus held him a little closer, trying to not think about Lestrange’s words or the possibility that he could lose Sirius. It didn’t work. An image appeared at the forefront of his mind, just behind his eyelids. Sirius falling to the ground, eyes unseeing, Bellatrix’s cackle resonating in his ears like a sickening melody. 

[milf-lover42]

Bellatrix and Azula are the same character, change my mind

As most people can tell, Bellatrix Lestrange is my all time favorite character. I might get new favorites every time I watch a new show, and they all share a general similarity (let’s face it… I have a type, and if you’re reading this here on tumblr dot com… you do too, don’t lie). However, no character has ever come close to beating Bellatrix for top spot. And then I watched A:TLA for the first time a few weeks ago. I didn’t watch it as a kid, I was just young enough (2003 babeyy) that I wasn’t watching tv when it was on. Azula is obviously my favorite from this show, and is also the only character to ever come close to Bellatrix’ spot in my heart. But thinking about this and all the headcanons that people have made for the Black family dynamic… it seems like a pretty straightforward connection. Azula is essentially just a young Bellatrix.

Almost all of these Black family headcanons have been taken from fanfictions I have read over the years, and so the credit goes to their respective authors. Many overlap so I cannot pinpoint each author to each one, and it has been a while since reading some of them. Most notable of these would be Glass Silence by Zarrene Moss. There are many more fantastic stories I have drawn from but I couldn’t remember every fanfiction I’ve read to pick out each detail. For all the Azula stuff, I am drawing from Hello Future Me’s video on Youtube “The Psychology of Azula | Avatar: The Last Airbender”. If you want to spend an hour watching that I highly recommend it. Basically none of this is mine, I’m just using the headcanons and research of others to tie Bellatrix to Azula.

Let’s start with their family dynamics. Bellatrix is the oldest of the Black sisters, and has no brother. Although not stated in canon, (because apparently she’s too minor a character to deserve a backstory) it is presumed that all the duties of a male heir fell to her in a way. Marry young and marry a rich pureblood, carry on the family name and power, and secure a high social standing. Pureblood society is extremely archaic, if the treatment of muggle-borns is anything to go by, so we can safely assume that they are a very patriarchal society. Cygnus and Druella Black almost certainly wanted a son to carry on their name, especially given Walburga and Orion had both Sirius and Regulus. We can also assume that they weren’t exactly the kindest parents. At best, Druella was a silent wife subjected to abuse from her husband and ultimately was unable to keep her children safe; at worst she actively joined Cygnus in abusing their children. Each of the sisters have a unique way of dealing with this. 

Andromeda handled it by running away, completely rebelling. She fell in love with Ted Tonks, a muggle-born. I doubt this in itself was an act of rebellion, I think she simply realized how stupid blood supremacy was after speaking to him. Once she fell in love it’s clear she wanted to break away from her family so that she could marry him. Clearly her parents knew, and it’s likely she told them herself. Given Ted was a muggleborn I can’t imagine her parents reacting with a simple, “No he is beneath you, we forbid it.” They probably acted harshly in an attempt to make it stick in her head that the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black would not associate with m*dbloods. Either she ran away or was kicked out, but either way she stayed with Ted and didn’t listen to her parents.

Narcissa shut off and blocked all her emotions. Obviously as an adult she actively practices the same beliefs her parents did, but as a teenager I don’t see this as being who she was. As an adult she is very cold and unemotional. The only person she truly cares about is her son, Draco. She cares about Bella still, she just doesn’t show it because she wasn’t allowed to as a child. As for her feelings toward Lucius... it is unclear. Depending on where you stand, she either could have been forced into a marriage with him, or they were in love as teenagers and got lucky enough that their parents arranged for them to marry each other. My personal opinion is they were forced. I think Lucius was supposed to be married to Andy but when she ran away, the Blacks had to hold up their end of the deal with the Malfoy’s and so Narcissa was married off to him. She embodies the whole “Ice Queen” personality. In order to cope with the trauma and her unwanted marriage, she just blocked all emotion to keep herself sane, only showing it for Draco.

And then we come to Bellatrix. Bellatrix, who had too many expectations to live up to, so many roles to fill, and no positive reinforcement from parents who just abused her if she messed up. She felt everything. She was the oldest and cared greatly for her younger sisters, and probably did her best to take any of the abuse that was going to be given to Narcissa or Andromeda. She used herself as their shield because they were the most important thing to her. Even after joining Voldemort and going insane she makes it very clear how she feels about Narcissa. Bellatrix would follow Voldemort's orders to the ends of the Earth, but the second she is asked to trust Snape, she says that Voldemort has made an error in judgement. Cissa wants to go to him and ask him to keep Draco safe, but Bellatrix advises against this. Only when her sister is in potential danger does Bellatrix doubt her master. Even at the height of her insanity her sister is the most important thing to her. We can assume as a child she felt the same for Andy. In fact in my opinion she never really stopped caring about her until Azkaban, I think she pretended to hate her when she came out about Ted Tonks, but only did so so that Andy would run away and live her life with the man she loved. She was safer away from their parents anyway. It didn’t matter if Bellatrix thought negatively about muggle-borns; she just wanted her sister to be safe. After going insane however, she truly seems to hate Ted for being a muggle-born, and she kills their half-blood daughter Nymphadora. 

In order to cope with the trauma of her childhood Bellatrix used all of those emotions as fuel for her magic. She is an incredibly powerful witch and is massively intelligent (although why she didn’t just use Legilimens on the Golden Trio will baffle me forever… it would have been so simple…). However because of this coping mechanism, she is driven insane. It’s not instant, in fact it probably took years (probably that stint in Azkaban, lads) for the insanity to fully develop and take hold. All of that exposure to Dementors would have forced her to relive the trauma of her childhood over and over, while taking away the happy memories of her sisters. 

Bellatrix was given a support system to break away from her family. Now it’s not a good or healthy one, but it is one nonetheless. After being treated so poorly by her parents, and forced into a marriage with Rodolphus, she needed freedom. When Tom Riddle comes along and praises her skill and offers her a spot as his best lieutenant? Of course she’s going to take that. Finally some recognition, and a good amount of safety. Not to mention missions and tasks given to her and others to her husband that mean she doesn’t have to be around him. Bellatrix was mistreated by her father and mother, but probably always wanted her father’s recognition. Her mother probably preferred Narcissa because she could be groomed into the perfect pureblood wife. Bellatrix latched onto Voldemort to gain recognition, praise, and power. But I can imagine as a teenager, having a complete breakdown at least once, especially after being told she’d be married off to Rodolphus. Demolishing her room with magic, windows breaking, personal items being thrown either by hand or by magic, and screaming and crying at the end. Very similar to Azula’s breakdown in her final scene.

Now we come to Princess Azula. She has an older brother, Zuko, but is always given the limelight. She receives a ceremonial headpiece that she is always seen wearing, but Zuko does not. He might be the boy, but he isn’t expected to take the crown. Azula is even named after her grandfather Azulon, who was Firelord. She was always expected to be the next Firelord over Zuko. Her future was never her own. She is a firebending prodigy, always showing off her skills, whereas Zuko falls behind. She is favored by her father Ozai for sure, but she is never truly praised. She is simply a means to an end to him. She was always expected to be the best. Although it isn’t shown in the TV series, in the A:TLA comics Ursa and Ozia’s relationship is depicted as abusive. He cuts her off from her family saying that he is all she will need. 

 There are theories as to whether or not Azula has a Machievellian personality type, or ASPD or NPD that could have been a root cause of her diminishing sanity, and after looking into those they seem very plausible. She lacks empathy, she emotionally manipulates everyone, and she has a messed up sense of right and wrong. Altruism just doesn’t make sense to her, and emotions are not genuine, simply stories made to get your way. Ursa rewards empathy, love and trust, which is why she clearly favors Zuko. But Ozai rewards power, cunning, and loyalty. They are complete opposites so it is not possible to please both of them. If she has any of these mental disorders it would be impossible to please her mother, so she focused on making her father proud. But Ozai never really shows any level of praise towards her, so she constantly tries to better herself. If she isn’t perfect, she’s failed. 

At the end of A:TLA, Ozai forces her to stay behind in the Fire Nation. He says it’s because they need a Firelord because he will be leaving. Azula is disappointed to not partake in the final battle, but it’s what her father wants, so she obeys. However, he only leaves her so that he can become the supreme leader of everyone, or “Phoenix King”.  Azula doesn’t really get a promotion, just a fancy name. In the finale, she is shown as her mental state quickly deteriorates. Her perfect image is gone, her hair is not up, her makeup undone, and she is paranoid that everyone is out to get her. This is the beginning of her breakdown. When she is unable to put her hair up by herself, she cuts her bangs. Her hair is all of a sudden asymmetrical, which is unheard of. She then starts to hallucinate. By the time she fights Zuko and Katara she is extremely unstable, and the fact that she can actually still bend is incredible, because it requires control of your emotions. She instead manages to use her emotions to fuel her bending. At the end when she is defeated, she finally breaks. Her bending is out of control, and she is left screaming and crying. 

Azula never had anyone  take her under their wing and give her the recognition she craved. Zuko had Iroh. Bellatrix had Voldemort. If Azula had been introduced to someone like Voldemort she would have gone down the same path as Bellatrix. Likewise, if Bellatrix hadn’t been introduced to Voldemort she would have ended up broken just like Azula. Their stories aren’t identical obviously, but there are some strong parallels that place them together, so I can see them as the same person with different outcomes to their story.

Does this stupidly long character analysis have any significant purpose? Nah, not at all. But like… I’m clearly right so… yeah.

[kingsmakers]

Evens for Cass and Odds for Phoenix 😈

Ooh this is long so:

Phoenix Black

1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?

Phoenix is obviously from a big family, so yeah she has both her brothers and also her cousins (almost all of which are older than her). She’s closest with Regulus, as they share very similar views. Her twin is probably a little more prejudiced than Phoenix. As a child she was often the glue between Regulus and Sirius, as she’s got a positive relationship with both of her brothers.

3. What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?

Orion is a fairly distant presence emotionally. He’s an Unspeakable for the Department of Mysteries, so he works long hours and isn’t allowed to talk about his work. Although not as abusive to his kids as Walburga, he’s never intervened on their behalf. She and her father both have depression though, which is something that comes to light more later during Phoenix’s story.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Her wand ALWAYS, probably some treats for her cat Saturn, a bunch of hair pins and hair ties just in case her hair gets too unruly.

7. Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?

There’s a lot of death in Phoenix’s nightmares, which makes sense really because of the First Wizarding War and all.

9. Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?

I think it’s similar. Phoenix has grown up privileged and she’s never wanted for anything, her family is very wealthy. I will say that as an adult, she has more of an appreciation of hard work and having to earn things. Nonetheless she does inherit a fair bit of money, so even if she didn’t work, she’d always be comfortable.

11. In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

Directly following Evan Rosier’s death. I can’t say too much without spoiling, but Phoenix did unknowingly have a hand in his and Wilkes’ ultimate fates. She also understands why Regulus wanted out, and knows she has to go to protect herself and baby Cass. So she’s terrified that Death Eaters will hunt her down and murder her.

13. Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?

Phoenix is completely unperturbed by blood. As she’d put it, girls see more than boys anyway.

15. Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

I think she is despite her best efforts not to be. Much of Phoenix’s young life was dominated by the idea of status, and how flaunting your wealth was the best way to achieve that. She becomes better as an adult, especially as Remus is not very comfortable with flaunting money due to his vastly different financial upbringing.

17. What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

I think as she’s a pure-blood it’s a bit hard to tell what toys she had, but she probably would have loved all of them.

19. What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?

I would definitely say that, when she’s younger, it’s her tendency to think too much about other people’s opinions and how things look. It definitely ruined her relationship with Remus while they were still at Hogwarts - she placed too much faith in people’s perspectives on it, and it was what led her to break up with him.

21. If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

I think Phoenix is quite self-destructive, so I think she would often blame herself, or at least question how active a role she had in the tragedy that occurred. She’d wonder what she could do differently. However, when there’s blame to be placed on others, she would certainly put it there.

23. What does your character dislike in other people?

Phoenix is not a fan of others who go out of their way to be cruel or unkind to others for no reason. Ironic, considering she’s a Slytherin and in a very pro-Voldemort circle, but it’s part of what pushes her to want to get out.

25. How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?

Phoenix definitely turns a blind eye to those she’s closest with, it’s a big flaw of hers. However, she can be somewhat paranoid and suspicious of others, and when she’s got an idea in her head, it’s hard to convince her otherwise.

27. How does your character normally deal with confrontation?

Phoenix isn’t a very confrontational person, but she does believe in sorting out problems rather than letting them fester. I think she would approach the conflict with the knowledge of what she wants to say, and an idea of what the outcome would be.

29. What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?

As a kid, Phoenix really wanted to be an Auror. Unfortunately after her husband was killed by them, it crushed that for her. After that, she was a bit disillusioned with the Ministry, though she knew working for them would be a nice paycheck.

31. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.

With Remus and her kids. After the war, she just wants to settle down in a modest home with them and live a peaceful existence. Phoenix has a lot of trauma packed into the space of a few short years, so I think she’s done with eventful after all of that.

33. In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?

Phoenix can get very defensive, and is prone to tears when she’s called out. She doesn’t handle criticism well, and it’s something she’s well aware of and is working to change.

35. How does your character behave around people they like?

Phoenix is naturally an extrovert, and that really shines around people she likes. She’s friendly, bubbly and eager to include and be included. Phoenix is the sort of person who, when she’s at her best, you’d really want to be friends with. She does have a sunny personality when she’s in a good mood.

37. Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?

Originally it would be protecting her status, but that would definitely change later on.

39. Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?

Lmaoooo does Remus count? ;)

41. Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

Phoenix at first feels she deserves to have what she wants, but it’s only as she gets older that she realises she has to work for it and earn it, and she finds it feels better to her that way.

43. Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?

I wouldn’t say a ‘dependent’ but she does have an interesting relationship with Harry. She’s sort of that aunt figure to him, as both Sirius’s sister and Remus’s wife.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

Phoenix isn’t entirely sure that what happens after she dies, but she thinks there might be some sort of afterlife, and it comforts her a little knowing she’ll be reunited with people like her twin.

Cassiopeia Rosier

2. What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?

Cass gets along quite well with her mum. Phoenix was only young when Cass was born, so she’s a fairly young mum, and they have some similar characteristics. She’s also the only biological parent of Cass’s still alive, so I think Cass relies on her a bit for information about what her dad was like.

4. Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

I definitely think Cass witnesses a lot during the Second Wizarding War. This is a maybe, but I considered that Cass suspects something is up when Harry is led away with ‘Moody’, and stumbles upon him having changed into Crouch. However, the professors arrive before he can attack her.

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

I think Cass dreams about her dad a lot, what he’d be like, how he’d act toward her etc. She adores Remus, but she also wonders about her biological father for sure.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

Nope, she has not.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

Cass is quite body confident so I think some of the clothing she wears is a little more on the revealing side. I mean, Fred ain’t complaining.

12. In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?

I think this was during her younger half-brother, Orion Lupin’s, venture to Hogwarts. He was really stressed about where he would be sorted and what it would mean and Cass was like “lmao doesn’t matter”.

14. Does your character remember names or faces easier?

I would say faces.

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

A bit of both ideally, but if she had to choose, she would say happiness.

18. Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

Wisdom, the little goddamn Ravenclaw.

20. In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?

Cass is a bit of an overachiever, so she’s likely to compare her grades and results to those of others. She sometimes feels that if she’s not the best, then what’s the point?

22. What does your character like in other people?

Genuineness, and the ability to make her laugh.

24. How quick is your character to trust someone else?

Not very. Cass is not a trusting person, and she keeps herself guarded.

26. How does your character behave around children?

Cass is an oldest child and her youngest brother is 14 years younger than her, so she’s pretty good with kids.

28. How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?

Cass isn’t a physically violent person, and she would only lash out if someone had done so to her first.

30. What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?

Arrogance. Something she does see a lot in other Ravenclaws. Also people thinking they’re ‘above’ others. She’s a pure-blood herself but sees no need to be a supremacist about it.

32. Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.

Being compared to Death Eater daddy in a negative way. She knows her dad did some awful things, and there’s no denying she’s like him in some ways, but she never wants to come across as cruel or malicious.

34. Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?

She would move on to a different method. Cass is constantly changing her methods.

36. How does your character behave around people they dislike?

Civil, but indifferent. She will make conversation if she has to, but it won’t be anything more than small talk. She’s not outright rude but she’s not going to push it.

38. Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?

I think she would remove herself from the problem or threat. She finds taking a step back gives her more space to think.

40. How does your character treat people in service jobs?

Polite. Not quite kind, but she would always at least attempt to be friendly.

42. Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?

Remus maybe but he’s her stepdad so? Other than that, I think she has Molly Weasley, who utterly adores her.

44. How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

She finds it hard. Cass knows that she’s a product of basically an arranged marriage, so it’s not something she throws around lately. It’s a big thing for her to say.

[dwellordream]

I want to ask for your full Director's Commentary on the whole of "in the language of flowers," but that might take too long! Can you tell me about your favorite section to write? Or if you'd like something a little more specific, anything you would like to say about the epilogue, or Sirius and Petunia's relationship? Thank you!! ❤❤

it’s been two years so it’s a little hard to get back into that head space but I’ll try my best lol. just in general I think the desire to write the fic came from wanting to write a long-term HP fic where I didn’t need to rely on the books to guide me through scenes and characters. with Flowers I pretty much could do whatever I wanted in terms of plot and characters as long as I hit certain points (the start of the war, Sirius running away from home, Lily and James getting together, etc). it was pretty freeing and I was able to do what I wanted with Petunia so long as she still was recognizable as her canon self.  I had a lot of favorite chapters so i’ll just go in order: chapter 1 was a big deal to me bc I needed to establish the baseline of the Lily and Petunia sister relationship right off the bat. I wanted their relationship to be loving and close but also quite tense on Petunia’s part; she is inherently an anxious, cynical, and insecure person, and being the younger sister, in this case, of someone as charismatic and charming as Lily isn’t easy. at the same time I wanted to emphasize how devoted Petunia still was to her and how much she idolized Lily’s looks and intelligence. I also wanted to get across some of her more obsessive compulsive behaviors and the effect they have had on her childhood.  I also have always liked writing Severus and I think the back and forth between him and Petunia not just in the first chapter but throughout the fic is very interesting, bc they really have a lot in common personality wise. both are very jealous and possessive people, both are quite insecure about themselves, from their appearances to their personalities, both find it difficult to make friends and difficult to hold their tongues when they’re upset. in any other circumstances, I think Petunia and Severus really could have become good friends. I also wanted to emphasize that while Lily can be somewhat oblivious to Petunia’s unease and insecurity, she is a very loving person and a good sister. I didn’t want the fic to be about making Lily out to be a villain or a bully in order to make Petunia look better, or just them constantly battling each other. chapter 3 was also really important to me bc it sets up Petunia’s first impression of James and Sirius, and I think it kind of shows how they were both little shits as children haha. in that, she has no delusions about them and recognizes that both of them have the potential to be quite nasty little bullies when push comes to shove. obviously eventually she comes to consider both friends and close allies, but James comes into Hogwarts as essentially this very coddled and spoiled little prince who’s used to being showered with affection and attention, and Sirius’ whole persona is that of a kid who treats everything as one big joke because it helps him forget about his abusive home life.  I also really love the line where Marlene shakes James’ hand but says, “Galleons really do jangle in the same pocket” referring to the Potters and Blacks being well known for their money, something James is secretly a bit insecure about. Remus and Petunia’s meeting in chapter 5 was really important to me because he is her ‘in’ to the Marauders simply by virtue of being such an accepting and compassionate kid, despite his own trauma and illness. Petunia’s not naturally inclined to feel a ton of sympathy for other people, but she does for him, and he really opens her up in a lot of ways to becoming more accepting of the Hogwarts experience. that her eventual reaction to discovering he is a werewolf is not terror and disgust but sympathy and a desire to help is probably one of the first major signs of her character development. chapter 8 was also really fun bc it’s the first real one on one Petunia and Sirius interaction! tbh I think a lot of readers assume I began the story out of a desire to write a romance between the two, but it was actually *not* in my initial loose notes for the story. I hadn’t really focused on any kind of romance for Petunia at all and it ended up just sliding its way in the more I thought about it. the two of them are very different but in some ways well-suited to each other; Petunia is almost *never* impressed by Sirius’ antics and he is I think someone who would want to be challenged and pushed back on by a partner.  in that same token chapter 11 is pretty important to me bc suddenly we’ve made it to 4th year and both Petunia and Sirius’ home situations have worsened. I actually was not entirely happy with that chapter at the time because I disliked writing in the kiss between them so early on, and I felt like I was rushing into the romance. however, in the long run I think it worked out, as they clearly don’t jump into a relationship from there, and with the emotional intensity of the two of them opening up to one another it made sense.  I also really liked the acknowledgement from Petunia that she sees through all the ‘I don’t give a fuck’ posturing- Sirius *does* care about being rejected and hurt by his family, he *does* care about not having a good relationship with his parents, and he *does* want that sort of easy affection and love that James has with his parents and Petunia has with her father. his problem isn’t that he doesn’t care; he cares rather a lot

chapter 14 is obviously a big deal within the story bc it is the point of Lily and Severus’ big fight which pretty much ends the friendship. I was going crazy at the time trying to figure out how/when to include it, since Severus is at Hogwarts, Lily is at home in muggle school, she hasn’t seen his problems with James and co. or all the bullying and violence, she doesn’t know much about his growing interest in the Death Eater cause... but in the moment what matters to Lily is him threatening her sister. I think at the exact moment she sees Severus having cornered Petunia down by the river it all sort of slots into place for Lily and she realizes A. he is not the same little boy she befriended, he is a potentially violent 15 year old, and B. his hatred for Petunia mostly stems from the fact that she is the unwanted replacement of Lily in his life. so with all that suddenly crashing over her, Lily really snaps and without much thought for her own safety, gets between the two of them and dresses him down once and for all.  also, the love between the two sisters is just really touching right then and there, as Petunia finally realizes Lily would truly do anything for her. the fight in chapter 16 was also a favorite moment of mine bc finally all the background stuff comes to a head in Sirius and Petunia’s relationship. she realizes he’s been kicked out of the house and has hidden it from her, and his poor reaction is of course, to mock her over acting as though they’re ‘going steady’.  then of course comes the nasty realization that the rumors about Sirius being in a relationship with her contributed to said disownment, and Sirius admitting to her that he got into a fight with Lucius Malfoy over a ‘joke’ about harming Petunia. this is what really sends Petunia into a spiral- she knows Lucius to be a Death Eater and the idea of Sirius in any way antagonizing him horrifies her. which then leads into the big issue between them, on top of all their communication problems- Sirius has every intention of fighting Voldemort’s forces, whereas Petunia wants to keep her head down and live a normal life. this is not something that can be easily resolved, given how stubborn both of them are. he regards it as his duty to throw himself into the fight and to prove how he isn’t like the rest of his family, especially jr. Death Eater Regulus- whereas Petunia thinks he has a death wish.

I don’t want to just summarize the entire fic so I’ll stop there haha. but yes, I am still really fond of Flowers and the relationship between Petunia and Lily and Petunia and Sirius. the epilogue was really just me giving them all a hug and sending them on their way like a proud parent. (I’m actually surprised people liked the epilogue, especially people who commented that they preferred the fic’s epilogue to the one at the end of Deathly Hallows, since I think the two have a lot of similarities in terms of the main characters having settled down into more ‘normal’ adulthood with a couple of kids).

[sapphicanarchist]

I interrupt my daily schedule of hating on James Potter to bring up something.

It can be argued that Dudley went through some form of abuse by his parents. They conditioned and brainwashed him into thinking and believing that he was better than anyone else, that he deserved everything he wanted without having to work for it, that all he needed was throw a tantrum and he could get anything, that people, especially Harry, were below him. That's abuse. It might not be the same abuse Harry went through, actually Harry was on the opposite end of the spectrum, but that was still abuse. They raised a child to be completely useless in the real world, a child who has never heard the word no and is genuinely ignorant when he hears it as it has never been applied to himself. They raised a child so ill equipped to deal with the real world that a mere glimpse of what others see when they look at him leaves him shaky and pale hours later. They fed him up on his own importance that the rest of his life is going to be a series of crushing disappointments and built on a forever shifting foundation. He is going to have to unlearn everything his parents taught him, he is going to have to re-learn how to not be a sorta sociopath. He will need to relearn love, relearn kindness, relearn how to genuinely be a good person, and we see that shift happening in Deathly Hallows, the Dementors episode is vital as it forces him to look past all the lies his parents fed him to truly look at the objective truth.

We all have that moment where we have to learn and figure out our own truth independent of our parents, but hardly is it ever forced on us so abruptly as it was on Dudley. Hardly are we forced to look at the objective truth with no prelude or warning. And though I am glad for this, and in no way feel truly bad for Dudley as the experience promises to make him a better being, I do not envy him the years he will spend trying to reconstruct himself or the harsh truths he will be forced to face.

But what does this have to do with James Potter?

This theory might also refer to him. I often bash him because of his privilege and argue that he did know kindness because he WAS kind to Remus and Sirius. But it recently occurred to me that he might have undergone some similar conditioning towards Slytherin House in general.

Sirius hated Slytherins because of his parents and their abuse, James hated Slytherins because of his parents, society and the Pavlovian association of Slytherins with evil.

We know his parents were Gryffindor and that they had some pre-conceived bias against Slytherins from his very first conversation with Snape and Lily on the train. Unlike Dudley though, James is seemingly proven right at every turn. There is no need for him to shake off this bias or to even recognize that it is a bias when there is so much 'proof' of it. His best mates are usually constantly facing danger from Slytherins, Sirius and his parents, Remus and Snape's threat of expulsion.

It doesn't occur to him that he is looking for this proof. He feels justified in hurting Snape because he believes Slytherins are evil and I have to hurt them before they have a chance to hurt me with their inherent evilness. There is no chance of an alternative line of thought because he certainly believes that you must have been evil to be sorted into Slytherin House. And he is never proven wrong. Instead, he is affirmed. Snape is punished with a requirement of silence while he and his friends seemingly get off light while Snape can't talk about his trauma or more importantly, paint Sirius as a bad person ('Because he isn't,' James would insist. 'He only thought such things were thinkable because of his parents!')

It is easy for him to accept Remus and Sirius and Peter, each somewhat hurt by life. He can be kind, he has proven this over and over again. He can look over certain characteristics that may paint you as dangerous, he has also proven this over and over again. But he has a blind spot when it comes to Slytherins. And the sad part is: He doesn't even know this. There is no defining moment when he thinks that Slytherins can't possibly be all bad, that children at 11 couldn't possibly already be written off as pure evil (11 year olds are little shits but not evil). Dudley gets that, however harsh the realization was, James doesn't.

It isn't that James is all bad, he is just heavily prejudiced against Slytherins specifically. And that is kind of sad. I want him to have lived and been forced to face Snape's loyalty, to see Regulus's sacrifice, Narcissa's bravery. I want him to see these Slytherins be so Slytherin in their goodness.

But then again... It might not change anything. But he has room and potential to grow, I wish he had been an actual character not merely a plot device (sorry, I'm kinda petty. I still hate the guy), so we would have seen this in the series and not in really good fanfics and headcanons.

This rant was somewhat inspired by my re-reading of Cursed Child and analysis of Harry as a father. I know we do not often speak of TCC (except to adore the wonder that is Albus and Scorpius) but it made me think.

Going back to my regularly scheduled program of hating James Potter tomorrow. But just hating a character without trying to give them the benefit of doubt or seeking reasons behind their actions is lazy and I won't do it.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hiya! I'm not sure if I'm doing this write but here's a prompt I was going to write but got too lazy: Sirius going into Slytherin, either because he can't talk the sorting hat out of it or he owes it to Regulus or something and then James goes into Slytherin too because of Sirius. It can be as long or short as you want, really you don't have too. Thank you so much! I love Imagine James And Sirius

((Note: Black-typical child abuse references))

The younger Potters’ house, a small stone built cottage, comfortable for three, or five at most, sitting snugly in Aberdeenshire countryside not so far from the Potter Manse, is filled to bursting with guests, all there to celebrate Harry’s thirteenth birthday. Most of them are packed into the living room, perched on the arms of chairs and sitting in small heaps on the floor, and many are laughing at a story Fred and George Weasley have just finished telling about their misadventures with a ghoul. It’s a new story for Harry, and he laughs until he ribs hurt.

His dads are both smiling at him fondly, James from in front of the fireplace, a glass of firewhisky in his hand and looking strikingly like Fleamont with the flames throwing shadows over his dark brown skin, and Sirius from the floor at his feet, head thrown back to look up at him, his grey eyes full of mirth. Harry likes seeing them like this, happy and without restraint, but it doesn’t stop the groan leaving his mouth when Hermione sees the affectionate glances they share and decides to ask;

“How did you meet, Mr. Potter?”

Neither seem sure who she’s asking, but that has never stopped either of them. It’s a tale Harry has heard so many times before, and James always starts it the way he does now.

“Well, Hermione, you see, everyone always thinks we met on the Hogwarts Express, like yourself and Ron and Harry, or at the moments after our Sortings, but it was not some meeting of eyes across a train carriage or a crowed Great Hall, and knowing we’d found our forever best friends. We met before that. My parents liked to take me to parties they thought would be beneficial to me, so I would know some my classmates, and it was at Regulus’s-”

Here he pauses to wink at his brother in law, like Hermione might not recognise him, despite the uncanny similarity he has to Sirius. Regulus rolls his eyes, having heard this even more times than Harry, and goes back to drinking his wine.

“Seventh birthday party, I think, eighth maybe, that I met Sirius. And yes, I did know I’d marry him someday.”

“But Mr. Potter-”

“Call him James, Hermione, otherwise it gets confusing.”

“Yes Mr. Potter – I mean Sirius. But weren’t you only nine or ten?”

“Absolutely,” James says with a grin, and continues his story.

He did not know the quiet boy with the mischievous glint in his pretty grey eyes would one day be his husband, but looking back, James could say he wanted it, even then.

The night was cold and dark, the stars twinkling high in the sky like crystals thrown wide, stuck there eternally. James looked at them and pulled his heavy woollen cloak closer as he and his parents made their way up to the imposing door to number 12 Grimmauld Place. He had no idea why Euphemia and Fleamont were making him go, why they were even going themselves; he’d heard them complain on more than one occasion that the Blacks were awful blood purists and racists to boot. Yet they’d insisted there would be many children here tonight that would be in James’s year at school, children he should get to know sooner rather than later, and so here they were, despite James’s protests.

The front door swung open just as Fleamont’s knuckles made to knock, the woman behind it wearing a fake smile nearly as obvious as her deep red lipstick. By her side was a small boy, dark and sullen looking, half hiding behind his long black hair and half behind his mother. James smiled at him, his lumos smile Euphemia called it, bright enough to lift a whole room. The boy shot him a dirty look, full of sneering disgust, and James could only hope this was the birthday boy and not the brother he’d may or may not be sharing a dormitory with in the near future.

“Good evening, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter. And this must be little James!” Mrs. Black welcomed them, her tone as false and bright as her smile. James’s parents smiled back, equally fake and James found himself wondering yet again why they’d come here.

Once inside, an old house elf, twisted and gnarled like an ancient tree, look their cloaks and immediately vanished with them, muttering something about foreign blood under his breath. Affronted, James looked to his parents, but they were still exchanging pleasantries with the Blacks and hadn’t noticed the rude little elf. As long as the older brother wasn’t as sullen as the younger – Regulus, he remembered suddenly – nor as subversive as the elf.

As his parents talked and talked, and Regulus hid further and further into his mother’s skirts, James took the time to look around the house. It wasn’t anything like the Manse, not with its enormous stair ways and wide halls, but looking up the staircase, James guessed it might be of a similar size overall, he couldn’t even see where the stairs ended, up and up, round and round. His eyes followed the banister, trying to find the end, and instead, near what James could only assume had to be the very top of the stairs, he found a face looking down at him, nearly identical to the ones in front of him, except for in place of derision, there was an emotion James knew far better; mischief.

The shark’s grin on his sharp, surprisingly pretty, face was unmistakable even from such distance as he lifted what looked like some kind of ball, heavy and wobbly like jelly over the banister. He caught sight of James, pointed towards the ball, and winked. He knew where this was going and flattened himself against the wall by the stairs, hitting his head on some knife edged plaque, displaying what he thought might be a house elf’s head. The boy on the stairs, who could only be Sirius, dropped the ball silently and hid down behind the banister as it fell, almost in slow motion, towards the dark green carpet.

Walburga Black let out a scream of rage like no other James had ever heard as the ball exploded upon impact with the ground, releasing a wave of foul smelling green slime that splattered Mrs. Black, the whole hallway, and many of her guests, drowning out the sound of his laughter. Any humour he might have felt, and he’d felt rather a lot of it, vanished with the sound, and the look of fury that twisted Walburga’s face, dark grey eyes immediately going to exactly where Sirius had been standing. Most of the guests were making horrified noises themselves, trying to wipe slime from their robes and hair and glasses; they all stopped at the sound of Mrs. Black screaming her elder son’s name.

“Walburga,” Mr. Black hissed, “Do not cause a scene.” He went back to making placating noises at his guests, saying how sorry he was, how much of accident it must have been, but all eyes were on Mrs. Black now as she positively flew up the stairs.

James had expected to dislike the Blacks, even to hate them, but he hadn’t expected the fear that gripped him as it did then the closer Walburga got to her elder son. He had never even spoken to the other boy, yet somehow he felt the need to protect him from his mother’s rage, a need he would find would never go away.

“Mum,” he said, almost a whisper, certainly desperate. Euphemia looked at him, covered from head to toe in dark green as she was, and there was irritation in her face, but also understanding. She shook her head.

The party ended not long after that, though Cygnus managed to clean everyone and everything with just a command to his house elf, supremely apologetic and offering everyone, including James a large glass of champagne to wash off the memory. The Potters might even have stayed had Walburga not come down the stairs moments later, looking completely unruffled bar the small stain of blood on her left sleeve.

James thought of Sirius often after that, though it was a long time before he saw him again. He thought of the mischievous grin, the pretty face, the almond shaped eyes now he couldn’t remember the colour of; were they brown, blue? Hazel, likes James? He couldn’t remember much, except that he wanted to see him again.

The McKinnon’s Christmas parties were legendary, or so Fleamont decided when he announced they would be attending the affair one afternoon in the early winter before James turned eleven. He’d been to plenty pureblood parties since the one for Regulus’s birthday and now, and yet he’d never once seen Sirius again, much to his disappointment. He’d heard his name plenty times though, in the whisperings of other children and parents. The party had left the Blacks veritable pariahs, what with the mess they’d made, and the overreaction of Walburga, but the wedding of Bellatrix Black and Rodolpus Lestrange had managed to lessen the effects somewhat, and James was finally getting his chance to see Sirius again. Euphemia and Fleamont both seemed a little perplexed by their son’s reaction to getting to see a boy he had never technically met, yet they said nothing.

The ballroom at the McKinnon’s town house was decorated all in gold and green, matching the dress Mrs. McKinnon wore when she led them into the room. There was so much to look at from the enormous tree with tiny green fairies fluttering about it to the small gaggle of children at the top end of the room, most familiar now from all the parties. Marlene was there looking pretty as ever in a glittery gold dress that matched her hair, but James’s eyes skittered over her and the other children there.

Grey. Sirius’s eyes were grey, James realised when his gaze landed on the other boy. He didn’t even realise he was walking towards him, grin on his face, until he was before the other boy, holding out his hand.

“I’m James Potter.”

Sirius raised his eyebrows, amusement clear in his eyes, but took James hand anyway and shook it once. “Sirius Black.”

“I know. I saw you at your brother’s party.”

Sirius grinned at the mention of the party. “That was good wasn’t it. I remember your face.”

“Your dad gave me champagne,” James told him.

Sirius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly but his grin stayed in place. “He does that. Wanna see if we can make the tree fairies start screaming?”

The boy Sirius had been talking to balked at that, his mouth opening and shutting like a goldfish stuck in a too-small bowl. “I-I-Well I don’t think you should-”

“Maybe if we spin them?” James asked, and led the way over to the tree, glancing over his shoulder to check Sirius was following.

They did manage to get the fairies to scream, and to turn all the green baubles red, and to make the tinsel slither around the guests throats like snakes. After the look of rage on Walburga’s face when a tinsel snake wrapped a touch too tight around her neck, the two boys ran as fast as their gangly legs would carry them out the ballroom, down a spiral set of stairs and out into the garden, cold biting at James’s cheeks as soon as he set foot outside. For a moment they stood still and silent in the dark garden until a burst of laughter bubbled from Sirius’s lips.

His laugh was deep and throaty, and James decided then it was the best sound he would ever hear. He couldn’t help they way he joined in until they were both gasping for breath, gripping onto each other’s shoulders.

“Did you see mum’s face?” Sirius asked between bursts of laughter. “She’s gonna be so angry.”

“Not as angry as the fairies!”

“Or indeed the McKinnons.” The sound of his father’s voice didn’t stop James’s laughter, yet suddenly Sirius was standing straight, no humour in his face, only defiance.

“Who’re you?” Sirius snapped, glaring at Fleamont.

“That’s my dad,” James said when he’d collected himself enough.

“Indeed.” Fleamont’s eyes met Sirius’s for a moment, as if Sirius was sizing him up. Fleamont didn’t even look properly angry, just annoyed.

“James, we’re leaving.” He waved off James’s protests and ushered his son out the door, abandoning Sirius in the garden.

Just as they were getting ready to apparate home from the front of the house, Sirius appeared and grabbed James’s sleeve.

“Mum won’t let me go to any more parties now. You’ll be at Hogwarts with me though, I’ll see you there?”

The boy looked worried almost as he examined James’s face. Merlin’s beard, he really was so pretty.

“Of course, Sirius,” James said. “We’re friends.”

From that night, James and Sirius began to write to each other, and though they didn’t see each other again until they met on the Hogwarts Express, they quickly became close friends. They planned pranks and wrote of the Quidditch stars they’d be, of how they’d rule the world.

When it came to their Sorting, there was no doubting they’d be in the same house. Sirius would go first, being a Black, and James would follow him anywhere, same as Sirius would have.

The house shouted, “Slytherin,” nearly as soon as it touched Sirius’s head, and James had no fear when he sat on the stool.

“Want to be in Slytherin, ey?” the hat said in his ear. “All for that boy? Gryffindor would suit you better.”

“I want to be with Sirius.” James thought.

The hat laughed, all unsettling but shouted “Slytherin!” all the same.

Sirius grinned and hugged him tight when he slipped into the seat beside him.

“Told you we’d be together,” James told him. He’d known since they’d first met, of course.

James grins as finishes his story, stopping only briefly to press a kiss to Sirius’s lips. Harry rolls his eyes at their affecting.

“So you should’ve been in Gryffindor then, Mr. Potter?” Hermione asks. Harry has never thought about that before, about how his dad could’ve been in his house. Or maybe if he had been, Harry wouldn’t exist at all.

“Never,” his dad says. “I was meant to be where Sirius was.”

[aidanchaser]

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Everyone Lives AU

Table of Contents beta’d by @ageofzero

Chapter Twenty-Two Owl Post Again

Remus Lupin arrived in the infirmary only moments after Harry and his friends had been dismissed, which he was grateful for. He didn’t particularly feel like enduring Harry’s worried stares just yet. Remus loved how much Harry cared, but there were days when he looked too much like his parents, and Remus always hated seeing any of the Potters worrying about him. He couldn’t endure that after last night, not just yet.

Madam Pomfrey looked over him to be sure he’d sustained no serious injuries in his escapade last night. She confirmed that there was nothing more than a few scrapes and gave him a tea for his aches.

“Thank you,” he smiled, and buttoned up his shirt.

“I know you’re a bit old for it, but,” she kissed his forehead. “Thank you for coming to see me, even though you really didn’t need to. Only a few small cuts.”

“Better safe than sorry,” Remus said.

She laughed. “If only you’d had that perspective when you were smaller. I seem to recall a lot of ‘Madam Pomfrey, don’t trouble yourself.’”

“Hopefully we all get a little wiser as we age,” he said with a smile on the corner of his mouth.

There was a quiet knock at the door of the infirmary that made both Remus and Madam Pomfrey turn.

In the doorway stood Draco Malfoy, shoulders a little hunched, like he was trying to hide, and he couldn’t seem to look up at Remus or Madam Pomfrey.

“Is everything alright, dear?” Madam Pomfrey asked.

“I just wanted to talk to Professor Lupin,” Draco said.

Madam Pomfrey raised an eyebrow and Remus could tell she was instinctively going on the defensive for him.

“It’s alright, Poppy. I was just leaving anyway.”

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips, then took away the empty mug and went back to her office.

Remus reached for his robes. “Is everything alright, Draco?”

Draco watched Remus pull on his robes, like he was looking for something specific, but Remus couldn’t guess what.

“Professor Snape said something very interesting at breakfast today,” Draco said. “He said you… He said you had resigned.”

“I have. First thing I did this morning, in fact.”

“Why?”

And Remus could tell from the glint in Draco’s eyes that Snape had said a little more than just that Remus had resigned, that Draco knew the truth; he was only waiting for Remus to lie to him.

Remus let out a heavy sigh. “It’s actually a rude question to ask, Draco —”

“Is it true that you’re a werewolf?”

“You actually completed the extra credit essay. You tell me.”

Draco turned his wand over in his hands and Remus wondered briefly if he should reach for his own wand — then remembered that his wand had wandered off with Barty Crouch, Jr., and that was probably the worst wound to come from everything that had happened the night before.

“You disappear for a day or two before or after the full moon,” Draco said quietly, “and you always look so sick when it happens. I don’t know if you have scars and I don’t pay attention to what you eat but when Professor Snape said it this morning it made sense and I just wanted you to tell me he was lying.”

“He wasn’t lying.” There was no echo in the infirmary, but Remus felt sure his words rang for minutes after they were spoken.

Draco tightened his grip on his wand and pointed it at Remus. “You were my — you were a teacher. Dumbledore let you teach?”

Remus remembered a similar moment when he was twelve years old, and his friends had approached him with wands brandished, demanding to know why Dumbledore had let a werewolf attend school. Then, Remus had been terrified that he would lose everything, and in the end he’d gained three friends he could trust with anything. Now, Remus didn’t feel an ounce of fear. He felt sad, but unsurprised. He’d imagined it was only a matter of time before Snape broke his promise to Dumbledore. He had known that if Draco Malfoy ever found out, Draco would not take the truth like Remus’s friends had.

But he also knew that some small part of him had always wanted to believe in the best of Draco Malfoy, as he had gotten to know the best of Sirius Black.

“When I’m human,” Remus said, “I’m not a danger to anyone. If you learned anything in my class this year —”

“I learned how to fight monsters.”

“Draco, do I look like a monster?”

Draco’s wand arm shook. “Not right now, but —”

“Monsters come in many forms. Sometimes their appearances are deceiving. If you truly think I am a monster, I know you know what spells to use right now. Your essay on defeating werewolves was well-done and received full marks.”

Remus knew that Draco Malfoy was probably too confused to use a proper spell, especially an unpracticed and complicated one. He also knew that Madam Pomfrey was only just behind her office door. But he still hoped, beyond all reason, that Draco could somehow trust him, even after all this.

Draco lowered his wand. “Don’t contact me ever again, or I’ll tell my father,” and he turned on his heel and left.

Remus let out a deep sigh and rubbed his forehead. He didn’t know how he could have expected that to go any better.

He didn’t have much of an appetite for breakfast, so instead he went to pack up his office. He was surprised to find Dumbledore waiting for him with a slip of parchment Remus recognized as the resignation letter he’d left in Dumbledore’s office just a few hours earlier.

“I’m glad to see you’re feeling better,” Dumbledore said.

“You can’t talk me out of leaving,” Remus said as he began to empty his desk.

Dumbledore hesitated, then rolled the piece of parchment up and stood. “It was worth a try, Remus. I need someone here that I can trust, someone who can protect Harry. It’s important now more than ever.”

“Now that Barty Crouch has escaped.” Remus sighed, remembering the prophecy Trelawney had given Harry just yesterday.

Dumbledore stroked his beard. “And if what Regulus Black told me is true, we may not have as much time as we thought.”

When Remus was a boy, he’d imagined Dumbledore to be a bit like the Merlin in fairytales. Dumbledore had a twinkle in his blue eyes, and a sagacity that made him seem omniscient. But as the war had increased in violence, and Remus had gotten closer to Dumbledore outside of their relationship as student-teacher, he’d learned that sagacity came with the cost of years of pain and mistakes. He’d learned that the blue twinkle in Dumbledore’s eyes was for children who still had wonder, but it vanished in the presence of hardened adults and became a steel grey. They were that steel grey now.

“What did Regulus Black tell you?”

“Disturbing things about Lord Voldemort and his plans during the war. It seems that Voldemort's return will be inevitable, as we feared, especially now that he has the help of one of his most loyal servants. If that does not convince you to stay….”

“I could have hurt a student last night. It’s too easy for mistakes to be made, no matter what precautions I take. And I won’t have you fending off all the Howlers you’d receive for keeping me on. You’ll have enough as it is with my resignation.”

“Very well,” Dumbledore said, voice heavy. “I wish you all the best. I trust you heard about Regulus Black’s thrilling escape?”

“I can’t imagine how you managed it.”

“I did very little, believe it or not. But I think it is important that he have a place to stay. I’m sure you know a life on the run is no life at all.”

Remus had had his fair share of “life on the run” during the war, and so had Lily and James. It wasn’t easy, and from what he remembered of Regulus Black during their time in school, Regulus could be about as subtle as Sirius when it came to secrets.

“I think I have an idea. I’ll speak with Sirius about it.” Remus glanced at the small clock on his desk. “If he’s properly given his statement, he should be by to collect me in just a few hours.”

“Let us hope, for all our sakes, that he has told the Wizengamot all about the horrors of being Imperiused, and he will be released shortly. And James’s character reference will go a long way, of course. They still respect him quite a bit there, Order of Merlin aside, if only for his family name.”

Remus gave Dumbledore a thin smile, thinking how nice it must be to have a name that could get anyone out of trouble, anyone except him. His name got him into quite a bit of trouble.

“If anyone can convince Sirius to do something sensible, it’s James.”

“Should I ask him to convince you to stay?”

Remus shook his head.

“I am sorry, Remus. I know you made a difference for these children.”

And Remus suddenly remembered a very similar conversation he’d overheard between Dumbledore and one of the many other Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers he’d had while he was in school. She’d been his favorite professor, and he realized, all at once, how much she’d influenced his teaching. He wondered if he’d left that impact on any of his own students, but he couldn’t honestly imagine how.

“Thank you, Headmaster. I am and have always been grateful for the opportunities you’ve given me.”

Remus finished packing his desk into his briefcase and that seemed a final enough act for Dumbledore.

“You will always be welcome here,” he said as he left, but to Remus they felt like words said to placate a situation that couldn’t be placated, like the way Dumbledore had spoken to Severus on that awful night.

Remus shook those memories out of his head and made sure his trunk was all in order. He had been prepared for the end of the year, knowing the full moon would be close to the final day, so there wasn’t much packing to do. He only made sure all final exams were scored properly, then took his trunk down stairs, passing by the students at lunch. He nearly ran into Harry at the Entrance Hall.

“I just heard from Percy. You’re really leaving?” Harry asked.

Remus smiled. “I’ll see you at home, Harry.”

“But you can’t go. You’re the best teacher we’ve ever had, better than Mum —”

“I’m the most dangerous teacher you’ve ever had.”

“You didn’t let loose a herd of Cornish pixies on the classroom and tell us to clean it up ourselves.”

“I don’t expect you to understand —”

“I do understand,” Harry said, “but I don’t think it’s right.”

Those were hard words for Remus to hear. They were words Remus had thought when he was seventeen and eighteen, when James and Sirius had convinced him that he was something worth fighting for, and then at twenty-one, reality had set in, and Remus learned that the world didn’t work on what was right and wrong. The world went on as the people around chose to go on, and he could do his best but it wouldn’t always be right.

“There are many battles to be fought in the name of right and wrong,” he said. “You must choose the most worthy ones, just as you did last night.”

Remus knew the fierce glint in Harry’s eyes, a glint he had seen in Lily’s so often. James was the one people assumed was wild and uncontrollable, but those people had never seen Lily confronted with injustice. Those people had never been on the wrong end of her temper. Harry shared that same righteous anger.

“What did Snape mean when he said he wasn't the only one who believed Sirius had betrayed my parents? It wasn't about when he learned your secret, was it?”

Remus sighed heavily. “Another time, Harry. Not here in the hallway. For now, though,” Remus dug into his robes and handed Harry the Marauder’s Map, “I think now that I’m not a teacher, I can return this to you. I think you can make good use of it.”

Harry looked like he was torn between a thank you and a protest. Finally, he managed, “I’d rather you stay.”

Remus shook his head. “Go enjoy your feast with your friends. If you need to, we can talk about it at home.”

Harry nodded, then went back into the Great Hall.

Remus made it out of the castle without running into anyone else. He did say his goodbyes to Hagrid, who was on his way back from Hogsmeade. He congratulated him on Buckbeak’s escape from the Committee for the Disposal of Dangerous Creatures, and Hagrid gave him his condolences about the resignation. It was a pleasant walk the rest of the way, even though he was alone. It was nice that there were no more dementors patrolling the borders of the castle.

Remus made it to the front steps of James’s cottage when Sirius threw open the door before Remus could even lift his hand to the handle.

Sirius was, expectedly, furious. His face was like a storm as he took Remus’s trunk from him. “James is finishing up lunch,” and there was so much restrained rage in his voice that Remus knew the court trial must have gone as well as they’d all hoped.

“Congratulations on being a free man,” Remus said, and shrugged himself out of his robes.

“Freedom on a lie is as terrible as being unjustly imprisoned.”

“I think I disagree.” But Remus had a small smile on his lips as he watched Sirius fume. It was good to see Sirius behaving the way he expected Sirius to behave. It was like knowing the world was in order.

“Are you still going on about it?” James called from the kitchen. He came out with two plates and handed one to Sirius. It looked like a sandwich. He handed Remus a plate with a thick slab of undercooked steak. “Honestly, Sirius, it’s not forever. Just until we catch Barty Crouch, and then everything can be set straight. It’s a temporary fix. The truth will always out. Besides, you didn’t exactly make it easy for us, running off with Regulus Black for months without actually telling anyone what you were doing or why.”

Sirius didn’t argue as he ate the food James gave him, but his expression seemed stuck on sulking.

Remus sat down at the table in the living room with his plate. As a boy, it would have made him uncomfortable to eat raw meat in front of his friends, but now he knew he could trust them, and he didn’t mind at all.

James sat down beside Remus with a sandwich of his own. “Lily and I will probably sell this place, since we don’t really need to be this close to Hogwarts anymore. It was nice to have, but Remus, if you’re not staying on, we don’t have much need for it.”

Remus glanced over at Sirius. “I wouldn’t sell it just yet. Unless Sirius has somewhere else to stay?”

James tilted his head. “Sirius, what’s wrong with your flat?”

Sirius’s face went red and he hastily took another bite of his sandwich.

“Sirius got evicted in January. It’s part of why he started spending so much time here. It wasn’t just because of me and Regulus.”

“How’d you find out?” Sirius said, still clearly irritated.

“It wasn’t hard,” Remus shrugged. “You moved quite a few of your things here. And I know that Firebolt you bought Harry wasn’t cheap.”

James nearly choked on his sandwich. “You spent all your money on Harry’s Firebolt? Merlin, Sirius, we would’ve gotten him a Nimbus.” James shook his head in disbelief. “How do you spend the entirety of the Black family fortune in seven years?”

Sirius shrugged his shoulders. “It’s easy when you don’t want it.”

“Now what are you going to do? I mean, of course Lily and I won’t sell, you two can stay here and manage the place for us. That’ll count as rent and —”

“Actually,” Remus said slowly, knowing this was going to be hard for Sirius to take, but he wanted the idea to catch, “I was thinking that Regulus would need a place to stay.”

“He can’t stay in Hogsmeade,” Sirius snorted.

“No, I was thinking he ought to stay somewhere a little more... outside the Ministry’s reach.”

Sirius sulk gave way to a very dark scowl. “The property’s in my name, thanks to that paperwork the two of you had him sign several years ago. He can’t stay there without me.”

“I know,” Remus said. “Maybe it’ll be better that way.”

James shook his head. “So Lily and I are selling the cottage? I’m confused.”

Sirius said, “Remus wants me to move back into my mother’s house with Regulus.”

“Oh,” James said. “Remus, I’m not sure….”

“It’s a good idea,” Sirius said, voice flat. “The Ministry won’t be able to touch him there. It’d be as safe as hiding out on the continent, anyway. I’ll send an owl tonight.” He set down the rest of his sandwich and stood. “I’m not very hungry anymore, but thanks.”

James watched Sirius leave with a frown. “Remus, you know going home is the last thing Sirius wants to do.”

“I think living with Regulus will be good for them both.”

“Then I’ll buy them a cottage in Ireland, but I can't let him go back to his mother’s house.”

“It isn’t just that,” Remus said. “Voldemort’s returning. Sibyl Trelawney issued a prophecy yesterday to Harry —”

“Merlin’s pants — Another prophecy?” James sank into the couch, expression and posture images of utter defeat. “Why?”

Remus ignored the “why” partially because he had no idea what the answer really was, and partially because he knew James was only whining. “Barty Crouch’s escape last night will aid Voldemort’s return. We’ll need to be ready. We’ll need to have a place the Ministry can’t touch.”

“You want Sirius and Regulus to turn their family home into a base for the Order. Did Dumbledore suggest that?”

“Dumbledore didn’t say nearly so much, but I have a feeling we’re going to need somewhere like last time very soon. And not only somewhere the Ministry won’t touch, but somewhere that won’t involve Harry.”

James ran his hand through his hair, shoving his bangs back. “I don’t want to keep lying to Harry. We’ll have to tell him soon. Maybe this summer....” James turned to stare out the window as a tawny brown owl approached the glass. It tapped its beak against the glass anxiously.

When Remus realized James was too lost in thought to even see it, he got up to let the owl in.

He’d expected it to be Lily writing to James, but instead the parchment was addressed to him.

He broke the seal and pulled out the letter. He was surprised to find a picture of a wolf inside, with the ink charmed to run in a circle, chasing its own tail, then pause to howl at a full moon. It repeated on a loop, and Remus was impressed with the spell work, though embarrassed by its content. He turned the picture over and read,

“Dear Professor Lupin,

We already miss you. You were the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we ever had. I hope next year we get a vampire. We wish you the best.”

It was signed by several of his students in Gryffindor, and suddenly the charmed ink made sense. Dean Thomas was always very good at charming pictures. He had a promising career as a portrait-maker, if he wanted.

He looked over the signatures, unsurprised to see Harry’s in there, or Anne and Christian Thelborne’s, but there were other signatures he was surprised to see. Like Neville Longbottom and Ron Weasley. Fred, George, and Ginny had signed it as well as Hermione and Seamus and Lee and Oliver and at least half of his students in Gryffindor, as well as a few of his N.E.W.T. students in other houses. Not quite all, but nearly all. He was overwhelmed by the sentiment, and when James asked what was wrong, all he could do was pass the paper to him.

James laughed at the drawing. “That’s pretty funny. I bet it’ll cheer Sirius up, at least.” He looked up at Remus again. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” Remus said, though his voice sounded a little distant to him. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He went into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. He didn’t drink it, though, not right away. He stood at the kitchen sink, leaning against the counter, unsure how to process the letter.

He hadn’t dreamed that his students had cared that much about him. This, as much as it made him want to stay, reminded him that he couldn’t. He could have hurt any one of these students last night, and he never would have been able to forgive himself.

The kitchen door opened and Remus prepared to compose himself for James, but it wasn’t James who walked in. It was Sirius, stomping mud off of his boots and carrying a box of butterbeers. He hadn’t noticed Remus yet.

“I’m sorry,” Remus started quietly, before Sirius could notice, and ask him what was wrong. “I shouldn’t have suggested your parents’ house. I know that’s not somewhere you ever want to go back to.”

Sirius looked up, all the rage strangely gone from his face. But Sirius’s moods changed from one to another in the time it took a Snitch to cross half of a Quidditch pitch. It was hard to know what really bothered Sirius and what would blow over in minutes.

“It’s alright,” Sirius said, but his voice was still a little hurt. “It makes sense, and I think Regulus will like that idea.”

“You can stay with me any time you like. If you need to get away, or take a break from your brother, you can just visit me.”

“Where will you stay? You don’t have a place to live either. I know you won’t stay here, not so close to the school.”

In the way that Remus knew offering Sirius the idea of Grimmauld Place had been a mistake, Sirius knew that Remus would never stay another night in Hogsmeade.

“I’ll find a new flat, I guess. Something I can afford. I’ve saved up a bit this year.”

“Let’s make a deal,” Sirius said. “You stay three nights a week at Grimmauld Place. That’ll make the mausoleum more bearable.”

“What’s the point in paying for my own flat if I’m not there half the time?”

“Then spend the other four with James and Lily. They won’t mind. Harry would love to have you around more often.”

Remus considered it. They could use Sirius’s house for the full moon. Regulus and Sirius could both turn into animals and wouldn’t be bothered by him at all. He imagined Sirius relished the idea of having a werewolf sleeping in his mother’s house. If that was what made it bearable to return home, Remus would give it to him.

“Alright, fine. Three nights with you, and four with James and Lily. If James and Lily don’t mind.”

Sirius laughed, because they both knew James and Lily wouldn’t hesitate to offer their home to Remus.

Remus took a sip of his water and started back towards the living room. Sirius wasn’t far behind. They sat down together and James brought out a game of Exploding Snap. Sirius opened up three bottles of butterbeer for them, and Remus thought it was almost like when they were kids, when Remus had hours to himself in the hospital wing and his friends would come by to entertain him. They were short one member of that party now. One member who had nearly killed James, Lily, and Harry, but in the end, and saved them all.

He glanced at his letter on the table and thought about how lucky he was, to have people who cared so much for him. He’d never have a way to repay them for everything they’d done for him. And there was a strange comfort in knowing they would never ask him to.

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Regulus,

If I remember anything about growing up with you, I think I know that a life on the run won’t suit you, and that you’d much prefer a warm fireplace and somewhere you can stay well-groomed.

You know I own all titles to our family fortune and property. Or, owned, at least, the fortune part. There’s no more money. But I do still have the property you signed over to me. Thought about selling it a lot, but never could manage to wish that pit of hell on anyone else, for any amount of money, so it’s still in my name after all this time.

I’ll be waiting there for you, if you want somewhere to stay, somewhere the Ministry has traditionally held no jurisdiction.

See you soon.

Sirius

—————————— ✶✶✶——————————

Dear Ronald,

I’m sorry about all the trouble I caused between you and your sister. I know fighting between siblings can be bad enough without pets causing additional strife.

I did, however, enjoy being a cat in your Common Room. Especially all the extra ham. Seeing how I’ve cost you and your sister a pet, I’ve enclosed a few sickles for you to get Ginny her own cat. And for you, Ron, this owl is quite an energetic little thing that needs a good, caring owner. I think you’ll suit him well.

I hope you all have an excellent summer.

Sincerely, Regulus Black