#i want to describe the environments i want to write things about the different plants!!! i want to inspect the creatures...

[sourcetwo]

i swear like every two week i intensely focus on a different aspect of half life. recently its been the combine soldier hierarchy and combine units in general. next week i think i will observe xen flora and fauna

[headspace-hotel]

Problems like climate change, where solving them requires millions of people to collectively work at hundreds of different solutions at once, are black holes for internal peacefulness because they give you a type of frustration where you alternately become bitter towards yourself or everyone around you. "If only I could work harder to fix the problem!" makes you exhausted, so you must become angry at others: "If only they cared about the problem!"

People who are already working on fixing climate change need to convince more people to work on it. And a popular thing is to share writings that describe how doomed we all are if climate change is not fixed, how terrible everything will be because of climate change, and how quickly all the treasures of our world are being lost.

There is a particular understanding of human behavior that is being accepted here without thinking about it hard enough. Popular news media shows headlines with terrible prophecies, written that way in hopes of getting the attention of otherwise disinterested people, who will then be "motivated" to fix climate change.

The trouble is that fear is no good for motivating thoughtful, patient, steady commitment to solving a problem. Fear is made to cause an organism to avoid things that might harm it. It creates a brief and explosive pulse of action where the organism's energy pours out as it instinctively, thoughtlessly reacts to escape the danger as fast as possible.

It's silly to blame people for avoiding thinking about climate change. The point of an organism responding to stressors is to avoid them. Oftentimes, the only tool people are presented with is personal choices about what products to buy, which inevitably is horribly frustrating and stressful, since a person will frequently be coerced by their situation into buying a certain product, and even if they don't they see others doing it all the time.

Relentless exposure to imminent threats that cannot be escaped causes Trauma, which severely impacts a person's ability to be resilient to stressors.

I think there is definitely a type of trauma associated with being constantly aware of the destruction of the environment and feeling helpless to do anything about it, especially since we as humans have a deep need for contact with other living things and aspects of the natural world, such as trees, water, flowers, and animals—a need that is often totally denied and treated as merely a Want or a hobby meant only for certain people who enjoy particular activities, like Hiking or Gardening.

We need to expand our minds on how this disconnection can hurt a human being. Imagine if a child's need to be loved by their caregivers, a person's need to be loved by their friends and family, was treated as a desire for indulgence or luxury, or a certain use of free time!

Yes, yes, one person has a condition that makes it hard to walk up hills, another doesn't like the bright sunshine, another is allergic to the grass or fungal components of the outdoor world, but WE ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH and WE EXIST IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT WHICH TAKES CARE OF US. Who showed you what beauty was, who taught you to feel peace and relief inside you in the form of a caressing breeze and rustle of leaves, who gave you awe and wonder at seeing the stars or the mountains? Where does every delicious food come from but the soil teeming with creatures? Isn't the most perfectly sweet berry grown from a plant, nurtured by the soil and pollinated by the bugs? Don't you feel delight at seeing a springy carpet of moss, a little mushroom, or a tiny bird? Think of all that the trees give us. Whose breath do you breathe? Whose body frames your home?

The writings of Indigenous writers such as the book by Mary Siisip Genuisz I am reading right now show me that the other life forms are our family. They take care of us and provide for us, and they would miss us if our species disappeared. Isn't that a powerful, healing fact? I think everybody is so enthusiastic about the book Braiding Sweetgrass because it is a worldview that those of us coming from the dominant colonizer culture are straight up ravenous, starving to death for.

Maybe, I think to myself, humans can experience a kind of trauma from being deprived a relationship with their Earth, just as they would experience trauma from being deprived relationships with other humans.

I really believe that it hurts us to be surrounded by concrete instead of soil, to see a majestic tree cut down on a whim without any justice possible, to see wild animals mostly in the form of mangled corpses on the roadside, to have poison sprayed everywhere to kill the insects that life depends on, to hear traffic and lawn mowers and weed whackers instead of birds and flowing water.

We KNOW that this is physically bad for our health, the stifling, polluted, and stressful environments of a civilization that doesn't know the ways of the plants, but I think it's a kind of moral injury too, right? To see a beautiful field turned into a housing development of ugly, big, expensive houses—no thought given to the butterflies and sparrows and quail of the field? To see a big old tree cut down, a pond full of frogs obliterated and turned into a drainage ditch beside a gas station? They aren't just things, they are lives, and while expansion and profit and progress are "necessary," a nice old field of wildflowers or a pond full of frogs are a different kind of necessary. I remember feeling this as a child without words for it—the sheer cruelty of a world that is totally without reverence for the other creatures.

"They own the property, they can cut down the tree" "They bought the land, they can do what they want with it" <but it can also be wrong, and many people know this on some level, even though our culture doesn't provide us with the framework.

Fear could never give people the motivation to fix climate change. Constant fear of what will happen in the future forces a person to protect themselves from the relentless stress by shutting it out entirely or developing apathy.

A fear based argument for fixing climate change either causes a worldview of nature with no bond of kinship at all, based on the physical and practical dependence on Nature as a "resource," or forces people to experience their kinship with Nature only through grief.

Fear tells us that we want to live—it does not tell us WHY to live. If a person tries to live on fear alone, they will eventually find the desire to live burdensome and painful in itself. I see this emerging on a society wide scale in the USA, feeding on influences from the Christian evangelicalism that sees the Earth as something already sullied and worthless, to be thrown away like a dirty tissue, and on the looming monolith of nuclear winter that gave our parents recurring nightmares as children.

If you go to r/collapse on Reddit (don't do that) you will see a whole community of people who cope with the threat of climate change by fantasizing about it, imagining it as a collective punishment for all humanity and a cathartic release from the present painful situation.

We cannot learn to live without seeing the reason for living. We cannot save the Earth without loving it. We cannot heal nature without caring for it. In order to collectively take action against climate change, we must be moved by something other than fear—and that something is love. Not just love of the outdoors as an activity, but love of the Earth as something that loves us.

The dominant Western culture cannot borrow Indigenous land stewardship techniques as though they are just one climate resilience strategy, without being also willing to change its dreadfully impoverished way of viewing human relationships with Nature.

What right have we to think, "Huh, maybe those guys were on to something with the multi-level polyculture systems and controlled burns" while still thinking humans are nothing but a disease on the Earth, and that Earth would be happy to be rid of us? The sustainable ways of using the land practiced traditionally by cultures who have lived in relationship with their ecosystems for many generations work because humans can exist in mutualistic symbiosis with the life forms around them. We care for them. They care for us.

I know for a fact that plants seek relationships with us, and I was taught by them to see how interconnected everything really is, and how I was made to be a caretaker of my ecosystem. I was, a few years ago, just as I describe above. Too scared and pessimistic about the future of nature to bother loving it, and because of this, I could not realize my niche in the ecosystem. It felt for many years like I could do nothing—i believed in climate change, but I felt hopeless, so I put it out of my mind. But when I began to cultivate a love and reverence for the sad, scraggly, beaten-down fragments of Nature around me, everything changed. So much became possible.

I am still learning and exploring, trying to open my mind to ideas totally different than the ones I knew growing up, paying close attention to every plant and learning its ways. And it stuns me to think—some people write about climate change without this process.

The author of the book "The Uninhabitable Earth" (a scary book about how doomed the Earth is because of climate change) says in the beginning of the book that he is not very much of a nature lover. You fool, love is our most powerful evolutionary adaptation!

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

Creative Writing Resources

Writing Tools:

🐝 ✎ OneLook: Thesaurus

Use: Enter a word, phrase, description, or pattern above to find synonyms, related words, and more.

Good For: Can't think of a word but can describe what you want it to mean, enter that description and it will give you words associated. Enter: "strong wind" -> gale, storm, tempest, tornado, etc

Cost: Free

✎ Word Hippo

Use: Thesaurus.

Good For: When you've over used a word and need to change it up.

Cost: Free

✎ Writing Realistic Injuries

Use: Seems kinda obvious, learning how to write proper and realistic injuries.

Good For: ...writing realistic injuries I guess? It's really helpful: minor injuries like emotional reactions, fainting, shock, broken bones, dislocated joints, burns, hostile environments, includes some normal ranges for things like blood pressure, pulse rate, body temperature. Also has accurate blood loss amounts and what is considered normal, severe and maximum and from what body part.

Cost: Free

✎ Period Based Injuries (WWI, WW2, Regency, etc)

Use: Medical treatment based on timeline/era

Good For: When you want to know what medical treatments were used during WW1 or what kinds of medicines were used in regency times.

Cost: Free

✎ Charlotte Dillon: Information Links for Writers

Use: Information on everything!

Good For: Research for medicine during the Middle ages or learning about what phrases were used in the Old West. Castle terms, rigor mortis information, viking foodstuffs, supernatural lore, regency facts, Irish sayings, and even ancient gynecology facts (why? no idea but it must be useful for someone). This place has everything.

Cost: Free

✎ Color Names and Descriptions

Use: Self explanatory.

Good For: Find some nice names for black or orange without saying black or orange. Get my drift?

Cost: Free

✎ Writers Write: Traits

Use: Find traits for your characters

Good For: Negative, positive, ambivalent traits, you get the picture.

Cost: Free

✎ Writers Write: Body Language

Use: Body language descriptions

Good For: Micro-expressions, hand gestures, and posture.

Cost: Free

🐝 ✎ Describing Words

Use: Find words to describe things.

Good For: Want to describe a tree? Enter tree and the site will generate descriptive phrases of a tree.

Cost: Free

🐝 ✎ Descriptionari

Use: Finding examples for creative inspiration.

Good For: writing prompts, descriptions of scenes, and help with describing a scene such a kiss or fight scene.

Cost: Free

✎ Flower Meanings Dictionary (A to Z) and Color Meanings

Use: The language of flowers! Lists flowers and their meaning.

Good For: Flower symbolism in stories, good for regency & victorian AU when floriography was popular. Take it with a grain of salt, sometimes flowers can have several different meanings depending on where you source the floriography.

Cost: Free

✎ Pre-Modern Combat Weapons

✎ Medieval Weapons

✎ Superpowers

✎ List of Legendary Creatures by Type

✎ Gemstones A-Z

✎ THEOI GREEK MYTHOLOGY

✎ Black Market Information (Legally Attained)

✎ Forensic Pathology, Science, & Death (Use W/ Caution)

✎ Religions of the World

✎ Languages of the World

✎ Methods of Torture (Use W/ Caution)

✎ Methods of Execution (Death Penalty)

✎ Poisonous Plants

✎ Plants, Just Plants

✎ Stab Wounds

Naming Generators:

🐝 ✎ Fantasy Name Generator

Use: Generating names, generating appearances, generating maps.

Good For: Generating names for people, places, things, planets, diseases, etc. Has a wide selection of name generators for all different ethnicities from African (varied by location) to Asia and Historic. Also includes fantasy and folklore name generators. It's my go to name generator for everything. You can also generate a description of a character or design your own map.

Cost: Free

✎ The Story Shack

Use: Generating names, creating your own generator, writing exercises.

Good For: Generating names, obviously. But also practicing writing through offered exercises.

Cost: Free

✎ RanGen

Use: Generating plots, appearances, archetypes, love interests, cities, worlds, items, and more.

Good For: What I just said previously. Very helpful.

Cost: Free

✎ Generator Land: Titles

Use: Generating Titles!

Good For: Creating... titles....? This site also has many other generators to use.

Cost: Free

Images:

✎ Free Images for Commercial Use

Use: Pictures!

Good For: Whatever you want!

Cost: Free

Story Development, Plot, Character:

＄✎ E.A. Deverell Workshop & Worksheet Index

Use: Learn how to plot your stories and build your world.

Good For: Character building, world building, narration, plot formula, prompts, ideas, genres, development. You name it, Eva has it.

Cost: Paid Courses, Free Worksheets & Tips.

＄✎ Story Planner

Use: Planning your story. Obvs.

Good For: People who need a little guidance with outlining and implementing before they jump into their story. Takes yous sentence by sentence building summaries and such.

Cost: Paid & Free Planners

✎ Character Sheet to Build Your Character

Use: Build your character in detail!!

Good For: Um. Building a highly detailed character? Self explanatory really.

Cost: Free worksheet through google docks.

✎ Create Your Character

Use: Build your character visually.

Good For: Designing a visual representation of your character rather than just writing out details on paper. You can save final result as an SVG or PNG

Cost: Free

Map & World & RPG Building:

✎ Inkarnate: Map Making

Use: Build a map of your world or country.

Good For: Designing a map of your country or world with details such as oceans, mountain ranges, cities, towns, and waterways.

Cost: Free version and paid version

✎ DonJon: RPG Tool

Use: Map making, name generator, good for D & D resources/references.

Good For: Designing RPG.

Cost: Free

✎ Townscaper: Oskarstalberg

Use: Map making 3D.

Good For: Designing maps, obv (it's really interactive a cool. Link if above is broken: https://oskarstalberg.com/Townscaper

Cost: Free & Paid Versions

✎ Medieval City Map Making

Use: City Map Making.

Good For: Making maps of medieval cities. Link if above is broken: https://watabou.itch.io/medieval-fantasy-city-generator

Cost: Free

✎ Fantasy Town Generator

Use: City Map Making.

Good For: Making maps of medieval cities. Link if above is broken: https://www.fantasytowngenerator.com/

Cost: Free + Paid Upgraded Accounts

🐝 ✎ Wonderdraft

Use: City & World Map Making.

Good For: Making maps of medieval cities and worlds. This app has labels and icons you can use to mark mountains, rivers, valleys, etc. It is a very good investment if you enjoy map making (particularly for D&D). Versatile, you can change map size (11"x 8.5", 9"x9", etc)

Cost: Paid, One time purchase of 29.99 USD.

🐝 ✎ Kanka

Use: RPG management and world building.

Good For: D & D related things (it's intended purpose)

Cost: Free + Upgraded Accounts (depends on how many "worlds" you create)

Search Engines:

✎ Search Engines

Use: Search Engines!

Good For: Researching topics for your writing! These website have an amalgamation of of different types of search engines depending on your need (Writing, Research, Reference, etc)

Cost: Free + Upgraded Accounts (depends on engine used but mostly free)

Writing Software:

✎ Pages (iOS)

Use: Mobile Word Processor

Good For: Tagging folder system for organization, export documents, good for apple pencil, multiple formats & templates. Sync's w/ iCloud.

Cost: Free

＄✎ Liquid Story Binder XE by Black Obelisk Software (Windows)

Use: Liquid Story Binder XE is a uniquely designed word processor for professional and aspiring authors, poets, and novelists. Writing software for those who require the editing ability of a commercial text editor as well as a document tracking system. It is for those who want the freedom to create, outline and revise but are tired of losing track of their work.

Good For: Keeping your writing in one place, organization, compiling into one document, no internet connection required.

Perks: Drop Box Compatible

Cost: $45.95 US, free trial, one payment.

🐝＄✎ Scrivener (Mac, Windows, iOS)

Use: Scrivener is a word-processing program and outliner designed for authors. Scrivener provides a management system for documents, notes and metadata. This allows the user to organize notes, concepts, research, and whole documents for easy access and reference.

Good For: Keeping your writing in one place, organization, compiling into one document, no internet connection required.

Perks: Drop Box Compatible

Cost: $59.99 US (50.99 students & academics), $23.99 US for iPad, iPhone, or iPod Touch, free trial, one payment

Editing & Grammar:

✎ Text to Speech

Use: Listen to your writing be read to you.

Good For: Editing, catching grammar and other mistakes. Also great for listening to the flow of your writing.

Cost: Free and paid versions

✎ Grammarly

Use: Editing.

Good For: editing your writing, catching spelling mistakes along with grammar mistakes.

Cost: Free and paid versions

Languages:

(Google Docs I made for my own references 🙂) IN PROGRESS!!

✎ Latin

✎ Greek

✎ Spanish

✎ Yucatec Maya

Creative Sources the 🐝 Uses:

Canva (I have pro)

Pinterest

Last Edit: 3/18/24

[punkeccentricenigma]

might I request some headcanons for the rise! boys with an S/O who was born and raised out in the country? I just love the idea of country! reader x city boys (especially since the todd scouts episode)

please, and thank you <3

Rise!Boys with Countryside!Reader

Relationship status: Can be read as romantic or platonic

Reader prounouns: They/Them

TW: Leo being dumb as always, Some aspects described here may be different from the countryside in your countries, Some grammatical errors because english is not my first language.

Author's note: Honestly for the last few days I was just thinking about this idea, because I live in the countryside myself, and now at least I have a better excuse to write about it, lmao. Enjoyyyy!

Leonardo

◇ Leo respects your down-to-earth mentality and your ability to find joy in simple things in life.

◇ However, it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows right away.

◇ When Leo first met you, he secretly judged you and thought that because you come from the countryside, you seemed boring and uncultured. LOOK AT YOURSELF, LEO.

◇ He tends to subtly highlight your lack of knowledge and city life experience whenever it comes up in conversation.

◇ He secretly compares his urban lifestyle to yours and sometimes feels superior to you.

◇ He might occasionally come across as insensitive and indifferent to certain issues and circumstances you've encountered or witnessed as a person from the countryside.

◇ However, over time, some of these things have lessened or faded away. All thanks to Dr. Feelings

◇ He finds your passion for nature and outdoor activities adorable.

◇ He appreciates how the ethics of hard work and practical skills can balance out his more carefree and humorous nature.

◇ It slightly shocks Splinter, but whatever, lmao.

◇ He admires your sense of adventure and willingness to try new things, even though you come from a rural background.

◇ Leo loves hearing your stories about life in the countryside and thinks they make you even more charming and interesting.

◇ He believes your close connection to nature and respect for animals are endearing.

◇ But if he ever catches you talking to animals or imitating them, you'll get the "weirdo" label.

◇ But he's a bit of an ignoramus himself, bringing up this one scene:

"Wow, [Y.N]! I didn't know you had a swan!"

"...Leo, that's a goose..."

◇ He enjoys hearing about your tight-knit community back home and loves learning about your rural traditions.

◇ Leo appreciates how your ability to adapt quickly and be resourceful in unfamiliar environments can help him broaden his perspective and become more versatile.

◇ You'll have to train him in this at Raphael's request.

◇ Sometimes he'll want to visit the countryside, especially if he's feeling overwhelmed by the responsibilities of being the new leader and after a Kraang invasion. Then, climbing onto the roof and stargazing is a must!

◇ He doesn't quite understand all the talk about plants, but if you have orchards, he'll pick every fruit to try.

◇ Please, give him homemade cherry juice, HE'LL FALL IN LOVE WITH IT.

Raphael

◇ Raph finds you incredibly interesting.

◇ But he's not sure if you're up to date with modern technologies and practices. Despite your exposure to television and the internet, he sometimes doesn't think you have a broad understanding of them.

◇ Besides finding you fascinating, Raph is somewhat surprised by your accent and way of speaking because he's never met anyone quite like you.

◇ Of course, he doesn't make fun of it if you have such an accent.

◇ Raph is genuinely curious about the history of your hometown and the people you know.

◇ He appreciates your rural atmosphere, and the lack of city knowledge doesn't bother him. He actually likes it when he guides you or explain things.

◇ However, he can get irritated sometimes when he asks you a question, and you respond in a way that's clear to you but not to him.

◇ Usually, you use rural slang if you have any.

◇ And sometimes, he can be impatient when trying to explain something to you, and you don't understand. This is where his anger issues come into play, but he's more likely to take it out on himself than on you.

◇ Sometimes, he'd like to go on a trip to your countryside and meet the people who shaped you, but because of the ‘whole situation’, he'll have to settle for the area around your home and fields.

◇ If he manages to find a moment, he'll come. He'll gladly let you guide him and explain everything.

◇ He'll probably start bragging about the skills he's acquired from Todd's training, whether they're useful in your parts or not.

◇ He thinks your conversations with animals are cute and will start talking to them himself.

◇ Except the goose will start chasing him, wanting to nip him.

◇ Plants aren't his strong suit, but like Leo, he'll start picking some fruits from your orchard, asking for permission beforehand.

◇ He loves walking with you in the forest, especially in the approaching evening. That's when he feels the most masculine, protecting you from potential wild creatures.

Donatello

◇ Despite everything, Donnie respects your connection with nature and finds it admirable.

◇ However, despite his ultimately good memories of Todd's teachings, he wasn't that inclined towards topics related to the countryside until he got to know you better.

◇ Donnie might sometimes underestimate you because of your former rural lifestyle and simplicity (using the phrase "common sense tells " literally), considering you now live in the city. However, he realizes that you're equally intelligent in your own way.

◇ He really appreciates that you're willing to listen to his explanations about his new devices. Bonus points if, in subsequent conversations, you remind him of potential solutions based on previous information.

"... And you know, I think when you combine this with that, it could give a good result-- Donnie, what's with your face, are you crying?"

"No, I just looked at Leo's face and felt disgusted!"

◇ He has definitely been moved by the fact that you haven't completely ignored him.

◇ Donnie finds your rural lifestyle and your knowledge of plants and animals intriguing.

◇ You'll probably drag him to the countryside for a few days if he pulls another all-nighter due to his ambitions.

◇ Expect some grumbling of discontent, like that of a five-year-old.

◇ He won't complain about the lack of Wi-Fi; after all, it's the 21st century, and some households have internet. Instead, he'll complain about the weak signal.

*Donatello rocks back and forth, watching a spinning loading wheel on YouTube*

You: *visibly wtf*

◇ If you have animals, you'll likely enlist his help.

◇ He's one of the few who won't think poorly of you when you start talking to the aforementioned animals in his presence. Whether you're having a small talk with a cow or imitating a passing duck, he'll probably do the same.

◇ He'll boast that he can communicate with animals using sign language to impress you.

◇ The Weird Duo.

◇ Ohoho, if you have orchards or gardens, he'll be thrilled!

◇ He loves botany, so ever since he saw the first cherry tree, your conversations always start with botanical topics and curiosities.

◇ In my country, such competitions are rare, but while watching The Incredible Dr. Pol, I noticed that there are frequent contests for the best-grown vegetable/fruit, etc. Expect Donatello to help you with that.

◇ And he might accidentally overdo it with his assistance, hah (those worms from the end of season 2)

◇ Donnie partly considers the peace and quiet of the countryside a welcome change from the city's hustle and bustle and all the stress it puts on him.

◇ But in the long run, it's not for him. He misses the excitement of the city.

◇ And he laments the lack of interesting attractions nearby.

Michelangelo

◇ He appreciates your unique straightforwardness. I don't know how it is in rural areas in other countries, but where I come from, people from the countryside can be incredibly direct and won't hesitate to say anything. This meshes perfectly with his Dr. Delicate Touch persona.

◇ Mikey often teases you about your rural roots, but in a typical friendly manner. You, on the other hand, have permission to tease him back. No mercy.

◇ He really enjoys your accent and dialect if you have one.

◇ Mikey finds your accent adorable and charming.

◇ Michelangelo likes listening to your childhood stories from the countryside.

◇ Michel finds it cute when you use rural sayings and expressions.

◇ Every time you crack a joke or make a wisecrack, Mikey laughs and finds it endearing, even if others don't always get it.

◇ Honestly, he's probably the least judgmental of the four, but he still has his quirks.

◇ Mikey can sometimes find your lack of refinement due to your rural upbringing slightly annoying, especially if you're too slow or don't understand something.

◇ Mikey might find it frustrating when you're afraid or hesitant about new experiences or things you haven't seen before.

◇ BUT, that doesn't mean he won't help you get acquainted with new things; he'll just have to push you as if you were learning to skateboard for the first time.

◇ Oh, and Mikey once taught you how to skateboard.

◇ You fell off the vert ramp.

◇ Anyway, he seems to have some strange attachment to forests and the areas around them, which is why he wanted to go there almost immediately when he heard about your upbringing.

◇ And when he got there, he was thrilled with everything.

◇ Starting from the decoration of the house, through the fauna and flora, to the atmosphere of the place itself.

◇ If he had an art block, this place would definitely unblock it. So, be prepared for frequent visits from the youngest of the turtles.

◇ He thinks it's cute when you talk to animals, but yes, he'll tease you about it a little too.

◇ He'll probably offer to help you with fruit or vegetable picking.

◇ He'll definitely start calling you "pumpkin" or "wild goose," whether you have them with you or not.

◇ He's not a big fan of homemade foods like juices, etc. The kid is used to mechanically processed food.

[writingquestionsanswered]

Hi. I'm currently writing a story, (wich is fun.) And my brother is writing a different part of the story. This is his first time writing something. We're all very exited.

Anyway, do you have any advice on how to define the setting of the Story?

World Building, Setting, Defining, and Delivering

That sounds like fun!

I'm not sure whether you mean fleshing out the setting as part of story planning (aka world building), delivering world building within the story (also referred to as world building), describing setting, or defining setting between co-writers, so I'll attempt to tackle all of the above...

World Building Planning - When you spend time planning your story's setting and world, that's called world building. How much world building is required, and what you specifically plan out, all depends on the type of story you're writing. If you have a good idea of the plot, you might try breaking your story down into possible scenes... for example, every known plot even will happen within a scene. So, once you have a list of potential scenes, you can figure out where those scenes might take place. This will give you some ideas about the "world" of your story and the immediate setting. If you have scenes that take place in a village, a tavern, a cottage, and a forest, you know those are four areas you'll need to flesh out. I have some general tips on my World Building master list, but you can find some amazing guides online and in world building books. Just remember: you don't have to worry about things that don't appear in your story or that won't affect the plot in some way. If the plants growing in the forest outside the village aren't plot-relevant and don't add anything to the backdrop, you don't have to flesh them out.

World Building Delivery - Once you have your story's settings and world planned out, you may wonder how to deliver that information to the reader. The key is to dole the details out little by little when relevant so it paints a picture of the story's world. I talk more about that in various posts in my Description master list.

Describing Setting - Setting description can be doled out at the beginning of a scene to set the stage for where the action will unfold. It can also be worked into the scene through character interactions with the environment, and the environment interacting with the character through sensory means (sounds, smells, things happening, etc.) I talk more about that in various posts in my Description master list, too.

Defining Setting Between Co-Writers - There are a few ways you can go about this. An in-person/virtual/phone brainstorming session is a great way to go if possible, as it will allow you both to throw out ideas and flesh them out in real time. Another option would be to divide up the setting/world and each take the lead on the bits that are most relevant to your own characters/part of the story. One last option would be for one of you to take on the world building on your own--especially if one isn't as interested and/or trusts the other to handle it--of course leaving open the option for the other to request tweaks and additions.

You might also want to read my post Guide: Collaborating with Another Writer for more tips!

Happy collaborating!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[humanmorph]

some more piecemeal pal48 posting. eclectic round 😁

To get it out of the way: terrible. horrible. horrid rolls. I was laughing AND went noooo!!!! out loud when Keith was like "Sorry, uhm, Eclectic dies here." as a reaction likeeee. BOTH times. the SAME dice? god.

I honestly didn't have many thoughts on the Delegate process before the reveal (only questions) (edit: some of which I do still have, like: how were dvines chosen to make elegates out of? Did fidelity choose? Was is a punishment of sorts or pure practicality about who would make the best delegates, whatever that means? I bet this would've been an audio log.) but it extremely tracks it's another Divine. I thought about the Pleroma Hypothesis (I am kind of constantly thinking about it when I think about Palisade. it's there in the back of my head) & how the reaction we got from Divines back in the fleet was mostly to die off to escape that fate. And I was gonna say, what do you do when even that stops being an option (Gumption : ( )? Make others into tools instead of become one yourself (except she also is in that easy a tool of empire). But I'll be real I am SO iffy on Divine Cycle timeline generally and then Palisade specifically to remember if that lines up. Fucked though! It's good! And. You know... I haven't really been too much like "Oh I wish they would've kept going" except I guess broadly I would just have listened to more Palisade. Because it's good. But now, specifically? I am mourning the Resident Evil sortie to the Garden of Fidelity we could've possibly gotten SO much. There could've been audio logs!!!! Thisbe could've been there with Integrity. Partial Palisade could've been there for real. Austin would've described the environment really beautifully. There would've surely been a plant monster to fight. And given it would've been Armour Astir... Could've Eclectic even swung as big as freeing all of the divines? Could there have been a horrible choice to make. ooooohhhh. ooohhhhhh (thinking about it) (sighing)

I also did like Keith being asked what Opposition looks like & he's like well I passed over it twice but fine & goes here's what it does when you look at it and it's an effect that's visually strange and hard to portay. Aphantasia king... (I do really love it btw I am kind of workshopping a drawing in my head, like I wonder if I /could/ portray that effectively? I'd like to try... but it's also getting stuck at the bit where I would have to draw/design the Divine. I didn't even imagine it as person-shaped at all but since Austin asked & Keith went yeah sure I'll go with it... But that's a shape not. Anything else T_T)

I have to say I was kind of crossing my fingers hoping for Eclectic to kill Fidelity somehow. Not that Divines are truly killable nowadays. I don't know. I couldn't tell you why I want this I think it's just because Future is out of reach. If I GET that golden ball

As for outcome I do kind of like the freed Divines just wrecking shit & it's interesting that they're in a way so similar to the Afflictions (don't care who/what they target, so deeply altered from who they were as Divines that they may not care?) but at the same time it is somewhat disappointing because what if they did. Something different. I don't even have a concrete idea because what happens does make sense to me!, it's just a vague feeling I have atm. Since they're on the map & an issue now though, I imagine there'll be more detail on that though. This is part of writing reactions as I'm listening along... this could come up 5 minutes after the point I stopped at... Alas. Similarly: what about Opposition specifically. It reached back when Eclectic was reaching out? If we both pull we can bring this thing down. & a window broke. I'm kind of gnashing my teeth about it like I truly wish So Bad this could've been explored in depth... Like even if it comes up again in the finale, it's just not an arc. And ik we already had an evil lab arc in Palisade (Delegate related, even. Well. That is what they went there for at least) but I just enjoy them. The PZN one is so good too truly horrible moment there when it's laid out what's going on! Haunting!!!! Honestly still gets me when I think about it, it's so good! Anyways. What about Divines who can't move on their own e.g. Righteousness? Did they just carry that briefcase out & take it with them? Because that could be actually very interesting re: August lol. I have to imagine this comes up again later because with the Divines wrecking shit August (left out of the mission on purpose) would've learned about what Eclectic did & probably have opinions about it. I also think this opens up some possibilities for Thisbe aswell, because Janine did say that the Delegates / their Divines were part of her goal ("mend the scattered shards of divinity").

done for now because i need to sleep but btw we still haven't gotten to the bit I accidentally skipped to and got extremely excited at hearing just a snippet of a sentence but the fact that it's probably in Clem's section is kind of worrying me. a lot actually. ooohh she's going to Win her scene I just know it... I am actually looking forward to it though. I mentioned before ever since the Tower game I've just been kind of along for the ride re: Clem and liking it sometimes more sometimes less but rn well. I am intrigued & I hope Art has a good time

[wroteonedad]

7100AD Yambe Tam

I think I've learnt a lot about myself since I started to begin writing up this blog. I've learnt about the types of works I enjoy the most, the type of music I am most drawn to, the endless list of movies I have missed out on being on the spectrum and being young. I have learned about others, the types of things they like too.

Not long after the launch of starting up my blog on here, I wondered to myself how I could reach a wider audience on different parts of the internet and it soon occurred to me that Instagram would be a fantastic tool for me. It wasn't all sunshine and flowers though, as it turns out writing posts about artists and exhibitions appears to be a small niche and the only people I see speak about it are verified institutions and already famous artists. Taking a jump further into the digital world meant that I would also have to make things for different audiences which is why I also make pieces that just go on that part of the Internet rather than on here. However, it has also made me ask myself how I can connect with others all over the giant endless parts of the internet and where we can take ourselves in the future, which leads me to VR.

To me, VR feels like it came about 10 years ago, but it turns out it started to hit the mainstream scene between 1990-2000. Different gaming companies began to produce VR headsets for use with their consoles and their games, some affordable and others not so much. It peaked again about 5 years ago when everyone on YouTube began to play remastered editions of their games they already owned, only while wearing a VR headset while they did it, to create a brand new feel to the game and fast forward a little bit more to artists creating open spaces in the land of VR. Open world games about biodiversity and the land of animals whom don't exist, these are the works of Yambe Tam.

The pieces in which she creates are experimental video games that feature both sculptures and ambient music to immerse people into these futuristic realities. Most of these realities are of things that human beings are most likely never going to be able to reach, the deepest darkest parts of the ocean to a post extinct Earth. Tam typically works with scientific researchers and sound designers to create these video game VR experiences into something that can be understood by humans.

As directly quoted from Tam's website, the description of 7100AD, a project which has been ongoing since 2019 states that it is a; 'posthistoric Earth meditative video game' which goes through the natural world through the body of a non-human species and this goes across three realms. 'A wild bee on a newly-formed desert island, a marine plankton, and an underground mycelial network. 7100AD illuminates unexpected links between humans and non-human species and how these are changing in the face of Anthropocene extinction.' The entire project encapsulates and tackles the modern day problems that society and large factories need to address more, and fast. Climate change, pollution, industrial agriculture. You work as a bee in the first segment of this game as you are pushed into a post human world and becoming acquainted with plants to create and support a new biodiverse ecosystem. You literally see the world from the perspective of this bee, as in what their sight is really like. It is a very interesting way for a human to immerse themselves into the perspective of a different living creature.

Part of this want to be able to create such a surreal piece of artwork is based around how Tam came from the last generation to grow up without the Internet. This meant that as a child she spent most of her time exploring the outdoor environment, being creative, having more of a sense of freedom in comparison to now where we all heavily rely on the Internet to fill the time in our day. In terms of discussion on how she creates work, it is described as having three different pathways from the bottom of the mountain. The way in which they all curve around with different obstacles, but ultimately lead to the same blended ending. Perhaps this is because some of the game feels like a reach, trying to create a game that is based around life without humans can be difficult to predict. Impossible to predict actually. We have no idea what the world will be like in a time post humans, aside from that the Earth will more than likely move on and live again. The way in which Mother Nature always comes back, she grows all over the damage to create luscious greenery and life elsewhere once more. We've all seen the images of Chernobyl and how the greenery is beginning to wrap itself around all of the buildings in the area.

So how does the overall VR game work and what comes with 7100AD aside from the game itself?

The game itself is placed within a sculptured room. The little rooms resembles a cocoon or a nest pod. You are given a sound-vibrational vest which gives haptic feedback to the game and a VR set which is designed as a bee from the future. You are then left to navigate the British Isles, feeding on flowers and watching them as they diversify and multiply throughout the area. It's a piece of work which mixes many forms of art media with sculpture, sound, senses and VR all at the same time. In other gallery spaces, the overall installation feels more like walking into a listening room. The type of room you go into where you sit on the sofa surrounded by expensive hi-fi equipment to find out what type of gear would be better suited for your home. The type of room that feels comfortable and that you can fully immerse yourself into, like this installation view featured in the image below.

I like the emptiness of this installation view, I feel as though this is the perfect gallery size in order to have the full experience from the exhibition as well as the VR game. It feels warm and welcoming, without being empty to the point that it feels cold.

I feel I have really become drawn to all types of different artworks that feature digital and technologic features and I feel that this is a perfect example of art in the future. I love artists who are able to tackle and adapt into the ever changing technologic world to create something that is fresh and interesting to the eye. I want to see more art like this when used in the correct context. 7100AD is a powerful example of using the future through the physical end project and mixing the concept of the future through the work and the game itself as well.

[i3asil]

Dungeon 23 - Day 2

So, before I get to continue I just wanted to get some questions out of the way first.  “Basil, will this become a full fledged story?” - No. The focus on this really isn’t the story or the party. But the actual environment. I occasionally mention thoughts and ideas but only because these are potential things a DM can use when their Party makes checks. “I saw at least 3 typos! How dare you?” - Well. No real excuse here. Yah, I’m human and I don’t really have time to proofread everything I write on Social Media posts. So while I try to keep things accurate, the occasional mistake happens. Now onto the next room! Last we left off, the party took a long rest in the first room of the dungeon. A large and empty room, yet it left them to consider their next paths. Hints leading to water and possible greens and other hints leaving them to be aware of either another person, or a whole party. They decided that since there was no clear ‘best’ path to travel along, they would simply begin with the right most path. One where another party member figured out that the water came from, and they also found a golden coin akin to a breadcrumb marker in front of it. With a torch in hand and narrow formation they followed the path. It was a narrow and the floor became more and more slippery as they continued. Not only that, but it appeared that the moss formed more densely the further they went. Eventually though, they saw a light on the other end of this pathway and halted in their steps. They could not yet make out what kind of light it was. Whether that of candles or torches, or that of a magic spell, perhaps even daylight itself? Either way, knowing that they might not be alone in this dungeon, they continued to tread carefully with their guard at full alert. Closing in on the end of the pathway and entrance to the next room, their view opened up and their eyes were immediately drawn to the moss. Not just any moss. No, it was the source of light that had worried them so much. Bright illuminecent moss grew in patches on every thinkable surface. After a small breather they dared to actually move inside the room, yet kept their formation tight to observe. Similar in layout to the last room, it appeared to be rather large, several full sprints across in every direction. However, their view was blocked by many pillars and small walls. Not only that, but in some places dense vines obscured their vision. Near the middle of the room, the moss appeared to be riddled with large bushes. Those with sharper eyes could make out that these carried berries of some kind. The atmosphere itself could only be described as a dampness although the smell of green that filled this room was a pleasure to many.  Feeling safe and welcome here, they loosened their formation and moved along the outer walls, to try and sneak a peek at what was on the other side of the room, which was hard to see due to the previously mentioned pillars, walls and vines. As they did, their every step was followed by a small rustle, as the floor was practically a complete moss carpet. They grew used to this rustle fairly quick. Once around the corner, they saw a small pool of water in the ground, above it, stalactites from which water dripped down into. As their eyes moved up, however, they could tell this was not the only floor. Right above, there were ridges along the wall with more bushes, some small stone bridges even stretching from different pillars. Yet, before they could take in the whole view, they were jumped by a group of Goblins. Now, for DMs, you can pick whatever starting enemy you’d like of course. However I chose goblins here due to their green skin blending in nicely into the plant life and their small bodies can also hide easily. At first, they saw 4 (1 for each Party Member). Once the party slew about half, another four appeared behind them from bushes and moss. A two phase encounter designed to test strategy from the party as well as how well they would protect the squishy members, such as the wizard. Depending on the party you can obviously reduce the amount of goblins here, though I will say that I generally start them off at level 3 so this kind of encounter is usually alright for anybody. Fending off the goblins with a few close calls for their lives, the morale of the goblins would falter after only about two were left standing, diving into the pool of water. The Party, exhausted from this fight, had never seen a goblin swim or dive for that matter. But this now held newfound curiosity. Where did this pool lead to? Could the party also dive after these goblins? And what kind of paths would they face? Could they even hold their breath for that long? And where would they come out at? Was there a whole horde on the other side, that would now be alarmed? With little time to think, they stood guard at the pool waiting for possible reinforcements. Afters a few hours passed, nobody came. Although they didn’t feel safe, they decided to leave the pool of water for now, and look for what they could scavenge. Quickly finding out that the berries within the bushes were edible and that the moss when plucked would still glow. A smart party member would use a mortar and pestle to grind the moss to a mush, and use it as paint to write on walls where they had been. Mainly, as a test for now, as they had no idea how long this ‘paint’ would glow for. They also still had no idea if the water was entirely safe to drink yet either, but had little choice in the mater as their rations already began to run low. After a brief refill of their water skins they returned to the first room, deciding it best to look at the other pathways next. Once returned, they broke off a few stalactites and mites to wall off the pathway they just went to, to hopefully not be ambushed out of nowhere in case the goblins did return in the future. Now they only had one more choice before them. Follow the middle path, which was signed by a coin. Or to go down the leftmost path which was left untouched. Through which path would they travel next?

[petnews2day]

The 'townies' guide to Norfolk's countryside

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The 'townies' guide to Norfolk's countryside

If you have ever wondered how birds can help plant forests, pondered the difference between hay and straw, puzzled over why a pet pig can’t eat kitchen scraps, or want to know which animal can be a tup, hogget, yeld and gimmer* then Norfolk’s Jill Mason can help.

Jill was one of Britain’s first female gamekeepers, and after a 30-year career now writes books about the countryside, illustrated by her gamekeeper-turned-photographer husband David.

Her first book was The Townies Guide to the Countryside and she went on to write about hares, rabbits, gamekeeping and rural history.

Now she has written Everything you wanted to know about the countryside (but didn’t dare ask.)

Jill, of Barton Bendish, near Downham Market, has lived and worked in the countryside all her life and wrote the book for people living in urban areas, or who have moved out of towns to live in villages, to help them better understand what is happening all around them, from ploughing to harvest and rare breeds to agri-business.

The book is not a misty-eyed retreat to a rural idyll, but a wide-ranging look at the modern British countryside, bringing in Brexit, Covid, food security, animal welfare and the environment as part of a state-of-the-nation tour of everything from animals to arable, horticulture to heritage and genetic modification to renewable energy.

“I find it very frustrating that so many people lack any in-depth knowledge as to how the countryside functions,” said Jill.

Her research took her from tiny hill crofts to huge lowland estates and involved conversations with farmers, fruit pickers, scientists, tech manufacturers and traditional country craftspeople including thatchers and hedge-layers.

From solar farms to hay meadows and cultivated land to conservation wilderness, Jill uncovers the way the countryside works.

She explains the role of arable, cattle, poultry and pig farmers, and as well as describing what happens in the countryside also tackles what might lie ahead for British farming.

Jill and David live in the Norfolk countryside between Downham Market and Swaffham but Jill grew up on a smallholding in Sussex.

“I knew I always wanted to work outside and couldn’t wait to leave school,” said Jill. “I didn’t really mind what I did as long as it was outdoors and involved the countryside.”

Her first jobs were working with poultry and on a small mixed farm – and then she became a gamekeeper almost by accident.

She and David met in Sussex, where he was a gamekeeper. “He had just started a new job as a single-handed gamekeeper when he damaged his knee so I temporarily took over his keepering duties and continued to be involved for the next 30 years,” she said.

At first, being a female gamekeeper was unusual but Jill said that is not so true today. “Times are changing, which is good,” she said.

After working on estates in Sussex and Hampshire David was keen to return to Norfolk, where he was born, and they moved to work on a large south Norfolk estate.

Jill began writing books and articles for magazines before she retired, 20 years ago, and said she and David had very much enjoyed travelling around Britain to research this latest book.

“We like anywhere wild and off the beaten track especially the Highlands and islands of Scotland. We have also particularly enjoyed meeting, and getting to know, the country folk who live in the Lake District many of whom have been hill farmers for generations,” she said.

They love rural Norfolk too. “The beautiful north Norfolk coast is one of our favourite places in winter when the tourists have departed and migratory birds have arrived,” said Jill.

And despite her decades of working in the countryside Jill is still learning.

“Two of the principal things I discovered when writing the book was the true extent of grants and subsidies available to agriculture, mostly for arable farmers, and the huge impact different methods of green energy production are having on the countryside,” said Jill.

The book’s subtitle refers to questions people might not have dared ask about the countryside. What might they be? “Mostly questions about some aspects of how animals are kept and how they are slaughtered,” said Jill. “It’s probably more a case of not actually wanting to be faced with the answers!”

Other questions she asks, and answers, range from who owns Britain’s wild land to how many crisps can be made from an acre of potatoes and whether Britain could become self-sufficient in food.

The answer to the second question is half a million. The answer to the third is “No,” said Jill, explaining, that we now expect a wide choice of food, much of which cannot be produced in the UK.

In fact, she believes we will need to import more. “The current financial situation with escalating costs for animal feed, fertilizer, transport, fuel and power will undoubtedly put some farmers out of business resulting in the probable need for an increase in imports,” said Jill.

There are lots more engaging and accessible farming facts, figures, explanations and pictures in Everything you wanted to know about the Countryside (but didn’t dare ask), published by Merle Unwin.

*Jays bury acorns – which they don’t always retrieve – meaning some grow into trees.

Hay is dried grass while straw is dried stalks of grain crops.

Pigs are not allowed to eat kitchen scraps because it is illegal to feed catering waste, including kitchen scraps, to farmed animals, including pet pigs.

Sheep can be a tup (ram), hogget (lamb in its second spring or summer), yeld (a ewe that is not pregnant) and gimmer (a ewe with her first lamb.)

[yourwitchmama]

Signs You Are an Earth Star Soul

A lot of people think earth souls are under evolved and not spiritual, but that’s not true at all. Fairy elementals, earth angels, many deities and spiritual masters are all from earth, and everyone has the potential to embrace their full power, we just can’t a lot of the time because of the state of our current society.

Our society suppresses information about how powerful, psychic and good people on earth actually are. There are a lot of different earth spirits, and they’re very common traits because… they’re the most abundant on earth. But everyone is divine and special, even if we are suppressed and lied to that we are not.

The Ashtar Command are futuristic humans, where they never experience war or the same kind of greed. They seem evolved because they have no limits and have access to knowledge and truth.

I put four categories below to help organize the main kinds of earth souls. This is not the entire list, but the most common.

Fairy elemental soul traits:

-I am emotional

-I am a little bit dramatic

-I am hot headed

-I am mischievous and fun loving

-I have a strong urge to protect the environment

-environmental struggles cause me physical pain

-I am not fond of the attitudes of most humans

-I am passionate and caring

-there’s nothing I like more than dancing in the rain or laying in the sun

-I love crafts, especially when it comes to making or building things

-I love shiny and sparkly things

-I am very creative

-I have a sweet tooth

-I have dreams where I can fly

-I intuitively know the medicinal and metaphysical properties of crystals and herbs

-I love plants

-I am funny

-I like herbalism

-when others are being too serious, I feel like laughing or poking fun

-I prank people/like pranks

-I believe in the power of energy healing, especially through music

-I love to dance

-I feel rebellious

-I love animals

-I can see orbs

Earth Angel traits:

-I am an empth

-I am overly sensitive and an introvert

-I am a light worker

-people see me or describe me as pure or young

-I always try to find solutions to problems to help other people

-I am interested in being a therapist/nurse/counselor

-I feel that I am here to help other people

-I don’t like asking for help because I don’t want to be seen as selfish

-I am insecure in relationships because I am always trying to see if my partner or friend is mad at me/isn’t telling me something

-People are drawn to me

-I often hear the phrase “I have never told anyone this before, but…”

-I constantly see Angel numbers

-Changing is spiritually significant for me

-I try to see the silver lining in every situation

-I am gifted in art, music, and healing

-My time management isn’t the best

-Other people’s pain is my pain

-I do not like conflict, and I do not know what to do with myself when I am angry

-I have trouble staying grounded and I feel limited or heavy in my body

-I daydream a lot

-I have a mental illness/trauma

-I am sensitive and uncomfortable in busy places/crowds

-I get overwhelmed by sounds and visuals easily

-I am religious or very spiritual

-I have a strong sense of purpose, even if I do not know what that means for me.

Multidimensional Earth Soul Traits:

-I love caves

-Geology interests me

-People describe me as strange

-I am quiet

-I feel like I would be better friends with Bigfoot than anyone else around me

-I like everything to do with mysteries

-underground societies and underwater cities intrigue me

-I am smart

-I am interested in the mandela effect

-I feel like I’m from earth, but not the same earth everyone else is from

-I have memories from this life that never happened

-I experience time differently than those around me

-I am always looking for people who experience life like me

-I love to write and/or create my own realities through art

-I am interested in how everything works

-I am a deep thinker and come up with good, original ideas

-I have heard “that didn’t happen” quite a lot in conversations with friends/family

-I can see or taste music

-I can connect with dead people

-I love being alone

Human soul traits:

-I am a healer

-I have arguments and solutions for a better society

-I participate in events/try to change the world politically

-Rhythm and music is deeply spiritual and/or motivating for me

-I love walking around barefoot

-I am a philosopher

-I love games and laughing

-I am ambitious

-I love relaxing

-I like to create

-I am into technology and computers

-I am interested in history/science

-I like to hang out with friends and family

-I get along with most people

-I feel the need to help other people/plants/animals

-People sometimes describe me as “normal”

-buildings and structures interest me

-Ambient sounds of people is relaxing to me (I.E. restaurants, the sound of walking, kids playing)

-I work the best in a team

-Relationships of all kinds are extremely important to me

-I am a loyal person

-I enjoy a balanced work/rest week and find it satisfying to do both

-I like the smell of nature and the feel of rain/wind/sun on my skin

-I am deeply connected to my culture and/or heritage

-I am respectful and/or interested in all cultures

-I am a very curious and thoughtful person

-I try to better myself

[approximately12lbs-of-ducks]

ADHD realization

Hello nice to have your attention now! This really isn’t long so if ur brain can handle it I think it’s a nice read.

For years, I heard ADHD people complaining about how resources and advice to help with executive dysfunction were cripplingly neurotypical in their approach. I never really understood it, although I sympathized. I struggled with severe procrastination (cough executive dysfunction cough) for years, and sought out advice from many different sources to help. And even after I started to realize I had ADHD and accept that my brain simply wasn’t letting me function and complete tasks, even though I knew that it wasn’t my fault, I still believed the articles and lists of tips that came up first in google searches, I still believed that if I just followed that advice, I could function. That it was a repeated failure on my part that those strategies wouldn’t, and don’t, work for my brain, because I didn’t realize they weren’t working. They WOULD help, if I just tried. If I just did them. If I just did them enough. If I just focused enough. If I could just remember to use the organization systems I was told to set in place. If I could just stick to a schedule. If I could just be perfect, they would work.

But I am not going to be perfect. I spent years becoming frustrated and internalizing my ‘failure’, making jokes about how bad my ‘procrastination’ was to hide how deeply and severely it was affecting me. After struggling to put the square peg in the round hole, I slowly started trying circles. Leaving my wallet in the same place every time. Making that place the first place I would go to look for it. Introducing more stimuli into my environment when I was having a hard time focusing or getting started on a project. Adapting to a daily to-do list instead of a rigid schedule, and writing down what I accomplished in a day, no matter how small, to heal and reassure myself that I was not lazy, or unmotivated, or indifferent. And slowly I started to be able to accomplish things I struggled to do. I started to search out advice from people who had ADHD themselves, in throwaway comments and blog posts and tiktoks and memes.

It’s been almost a year since I was diagnosed with ADHD. Executive dysfunction hinders me daily, sometimes severely, sometimes slightly. Earlier today I looked up tips on how to deal with executive dysfunction in google to see if I could glean anything new, glanced over a couple of the top articles, and turned away in annoyance - the advice was clearly for neurotypicals. And then it clicked. What I had been hearing for years, what people had been saying, all of the comics and analogies and stories I had heard from people about their ‘lightbulb’ moment - I got it. That I didn’t fail because all that advice never worked for me, and just how deep that internalized ‘failure’ turned to self-hatred ran.

If you’re reading this, and you haven’t had your lightbulb moment yet - recognizing ADHD symptoms in yourself, getting diagnosed, getting medication, or something as simple as a google search - it’ll come. I can’t make you have it, I can’t really describe it in a way that will fully hit home to you. But I want to add to the many stories I’ve read and seen that talk about their lightbulb moment, and plant that hope, that idea, that concept in your mind that it genuinely, truly, COMPLETELY is not a failure on your part that you’ve struggled to function for so long. It’s not.

And I hope your lightbulb moment of accepting that comes soon. 💗

(Banners between paragraphs and bolded words are to help neurodivergent people stay engaged)

[ramzawrites]

Familial Love - Dad!Badboyhalo and Reader Part 1

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Philza, Wilbur, Technoblade, Tommy, Badboyhalo

Warnings: n/a

Series: only a two parter

Summary: Having mischievious kids who were interested about the nether, Philza thought it would be the smartest thing to bring his whole family togther into the other world, so he could keep his eyes on them and satisfy their curiosity. Besides, they all could collect some resources while being there, though once in the nether they find more than they bargained for. Bringing in BadBoyHalo who might be able to help with this delicate matter.

Words count: 2684

Authors Note: It was a request ages ago but I sadly lost it, now I’m using it to slowly get back into writing and I know I’m horrible when it comes to multiple chapter fics but I am already almost done with the second part though I have to heavily edit it since I forgot something important. I can’t promise I’m turning back into an upload every week but I’m going to slowly inch my way back to it. I would appreciate some feedback on this one since it’s been a while :)

Philza was fanning some air towards his face using his hand. This wasn’t really helping, of course. The air in the Nether was way too hot for that but he had no better way to deal with the heat that he was currently experiencing. He used to be better at that but he has been spending way more time in the Overworld as of late due to personal projects and having to raise three kids, hence why it took him a bit by surprise with how much trouble he seemed to have to adapt to this environment.

This was also mirrored by his oldest kid Wilbur, which made sense seeing how he only spend minimal time in the Nether, meanwhile Technoblade did fine and interestingly enough, while Tommy was obviously also uncomfortable in this heat, he seemed to be doing better than Philza and Wilbur. Techno was born in the Nether so while it might take a moment he had no problem getting used to this, but Tommy? It was his first time in the Nether so it was a bit surprising. Philza just chalked it up to him being younger and able to adapt faster.

“You sure you guys want to help find the materials?” Philza was looking at both Wilbur and Tommy, though his attention was primarily on Wilbur who was once again wiping away the sweat on his brow.

Both nodded but only Wilbur spoke “Yeah! It’s usually just you and Techno, we want to help out for once as well.”

Philza squinted his eyes, staring his son down “This is bullshit but I’ll take the help nonetheless. I’m sure you will also find the things you both are looking for, would be easier if you would just tell me outright what though.”

“You knew?”

Wilbur clasped his hand around Tommy’s mouth and pulled him closer “It’s fine, dad! We’ll be fine! We’re gonna get that blackstone and the wood in no time!”

He then proceeded to drag Tommy off who begun to angrily yell at Wilbur.

“Remember to stay close!” Phil tried to throw after them but it seemed to go unnoticed, which meant he needed to stay close to them and not the other way around.

“They’ll be fine.” Techno suddenly appeared next to him. An iron axe in his hands.

Philza sighed “ I hope. It’s Tommy’s first time in the Nether and Wilbur doesn’t spend a lot of time here. We have to make sure to stay close.”

Techno nodded, he too was worried about his brothers as well after all “They have some Enderpearls should anything happen and Wilbur will make sure to look out for Tommy.”

He was correct. Philza went over this with all of his sons a ton of times. Teaching them how to enderpearl away while falling and training their aim. He also made sure to tell them all of all the dangers that would await them here. Giving them enchanted bows that could one hit a Ghast.

There was no sense in dwelling on that for now though, hence why Philza hesitantly approached a red tree. His diamond axe soon burrying itself deep into the surprisingly soft wood. Not only is this wood beautiful if used correctly but this wood was also fire resistant which could be helpful for some of his other builds.

Techno was also already on it. He was younger than Wilbur and yet he already showed greater strength than him. Though this wasn’t surprising seeing how Techno was a Piglin Hybrid. They usually grow up pretty fast and were known for their brute strength.

With one swing of his axe he was already pretty deep into the tree. He was just a kid and yet he could keep up with Philza’s rate of cutting down these trees pretty well.

All the while Philza would make sure to run after Wilbur and Tommy. Cutting down the trees close to them. Always making sure that all of his three kids were in his peripheral view. They were still clumsy young children and every time they would even just stumble for a small second his heart would drop.

At times Wilbur and Tommy would try to coax Techno over to show off a cool looking mushroom. At first he was unsure, just wanting to help gather the few recourses that Philza needed but the more his brothers asked the bigger his curiosity got. It didn’t take long for him to join his brothers to look at all the interesting plants and other things they found. Philza just gave him a nod as a sign he is allowed to go after them.

Of course, as a worried father, Philza would still keep his eyes on them.

Honestly this was probably a horrible idea to bring them all with him. The Nether is just too dangerous for kids but also they were so curious! And mischievous kids who are curious about something specific especially when their father doesn’t allow them to approach it? That seems to spell disaster, so, in his infinite wisdom Philza thought it would be a good idea to bring them in with him for a really small outing. Nothing special. He even made sure the portal was in a good place and made it as safe as possible before he took his whole family in.

So when he suddenly heard a scream his heart figuratively stopped. He was so preoccupied with his worry that he didn’t notice how the kids left his view. Without hesitating Philza dropped the heavy axe and instead opened up his wings. With just a few beats of his wings he flew up into the air. Frantically looking around for his sons, hoping they haven’t gone further underground. It calmed him down that there weren’t more screams which could mean one of them just got scared for a second, or they are all already dead not having a chance to yell out again.

Realizing that thinking about this would only make it worse he begun to fully concentrate on the environment, calling out to his sons in the progress. Sweat rolled down the side of his face, this time not only due to the heat but also due to the fear that seemed to fester deep down in his heart and bones with every second he couldn’t find his family.

Then suddenly he saw something blonde. Thank the End Tommy had such an easy to spot hair color. And next to him were Wilbur and Techno, all three of them seemed to look at something laying on the floor. Philza couldn’t make it out from up in the air since the kids put all of their heads together above the item of interest. Either way they seemed to be alright.

As Philza landed close to them he put his hand against his heart “By Ender you guys scared me. Are you alright? I heard one of you scream and I couldn’t see you. Didn’t I tell you guys to stay close to me for that exact reason?”

He kept on rambling along, more out of nervousness and guilt but was stopped as Wilbur looked up, turned around and just stared at his father with a confused expression. In this confusion was a worry there that made Philza almost cautious. Something was wrong after all.

Techno and Tommy followed suit, all of them finally forming an opening so he could see what they were staring at.

On the hot nether ground there was a bundle. A bundle that slowly moved around.

Philza slowly approached it, soon noticing two horns poking out of this bundle. Wrapped in this dirty brown cloth was a baby. A baby with two horns on their forehead and shimmering skin. It looked like there was shimmering ink buried beneath the skin that was now happily dancing across. There was no glow to it and yet he couldn’t describe it differently. There was a shimmer.

This was a demon baby.

His eyes widened as he realized this, fatherly instincts kicking in as he scrambled to get that child off the ground. It was most likely fine seeing how they are a demon but in his mind right now he needed to get the child off the hot netherrack.

“Dad, whose is it?” Tommy stepped closer, pulling on his fathers long sleeve. While young he seemed to understand the implications of a frail small baby just lying around on the ground, understanding that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

And he was correct. In Philza’s life he has met demons only a couple of times but has already read a lot of texts on them. While they can live in either the Overworld or the Nether most get born inside the Nether and just like humans, they usually grow up with parents at their side. Parents that taught them how the world works and showed them how to control their magical prowess.

They got the name demon by their unnatural ability and affinity for magic. Being able to control the magic of an enchanting table like no other, able to read the enchantments and crafting new ones. Some even showed outside of enchanting abilities like summoning forth fire for example.

This child was orphaned. Maybe the parents died? He has never heard stories of demons abandoning their own kin, though only because he hasn’t heard it, this doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. He just knew that they took their kin seriously and it was in their eyes one of the strongest bonds that you can have. If a demon called you their kin? That is something special and honoring.

Philza looked the child over one more time. No wounds, no jewelry not anything that could tell him what has happened here or whose baby it is.

As his hand came across the cloth, trying to see if there might be anything embroidered on there the baby instinctively grabbed for his hand. Holding on to his pinky for dear life. Accompanied by a few babbling baby noises. Melting his heart in the process but it also pulled him out of his frantic thoughts.

The next few minutes he ordered his boys to scour the place a bit. Trying to look for any hints of the baby’s parents but there was nothing.

“So, what do we do with them?” Wilbur asked, standing on the tips of his toes as he tried to get a good look at the baby again. The dark horns was what really piqued his interest. Realistically he knew things like this were possible, seeing how his father hand black wings, but it still seemed so magical and impossible.

“Do we have, uh, a new sibling?” Techno asked. His cheeks turning into a soft shade of red as he asked. His eyes darting to the ground. He still wasn’t used to this even though he was adopted and a Piglin Hybrid he was very much a part of the family.

With wide and hopeful eyes Tommy looked up at Philza “I can be a big brother?”

Oh.

Philza wanted to agree. Wanted to tell them, to greet the new member to their family but he couldn’t. Not in good consciousness when he knew there was a better option. An option that would teach the kid what they needed. He couldn’t teach them anything about magic beyond enchanting tools with an enchantment table.

Besides he did know a demon. He met him only a couple of time, so they weren’t particular close but he knew how to reach him and this seemed to be by far the best and most fair option for this baby.

So, he shook his head. All three kids almost seemed shocked at that.

“Why?” Wilbur asked, his hand now holding onto the cloth that the child was wrapped in.

“Because I couldn’t give the child what they needed but I know someone else who can give the child a proper chance at life. Listen, you don’t need to understand yet but trust me as a father. Besides I’m sure we can visit them!”

This wasn’t enough for the children obviously. Asking more questions, trying to get a specific answer. Just repeating the questions.

“That’s enough! This is my decision and as your father and as the resident adult who actually has to take care of all of you, this is my decision. You’ll understand when you get older, I promise.”

Of course there was still some groaning and mumbling but the kids noticed that this was not something they could change Philza’s mind on. Didn’t mean they have to like that though.

With that Philza guided his family back into the overworld as fast as possible. Once back out the nether he made sure to see if the baby was dealing well with the sudden environmental change but they just kept on smiling and babbling which he interpreted as a good sign.

With the help of a long range communicator Philza managed to send of a message to said demon who in return managed to visit Philza after a day using the nether as a hub to travel faster. Seeing how he needed a full day to travel using the nether roof just showcased how far he actually was.

It was Wilbur who opened up the door to him. A tall demon clad in black clothes that had grey and red accents. Two horns grew out of his forehead similar to that of the babies, his skin being a deep black vortex that seemed to swirl but whenever you tried to really concentrate on it , it seemed to disappear and move to the corner of your eye.

Wilbur rubbed his eyes “Um, hello?”

A bright and happy smile appeared on the demons face, a thin tail moving happily around in the back “Hello! Nice to meet you! I’m BadBoyHalo! Your father messaged me, can I talk to him? Is he here?”

“Dad! Someone is here at the door! Is it that guy that is gonna steal our sibling?”

It only took Philza a short moment until he arrived at the front door with the baby in his arms, washed and taken care of to the best of his abilities “Wilbur! We talked about it, he is not stealing them! I’m sorry, Bad but I appreciate you coming over.”

Both Techno and Tommy walked in behind him, obviously having caught on to what was happening. Their expressions sad and almost dark. Still thinking that this was unfair.

Bad curiously pointed at the child in Philza’s arms “That’s them? Can I take a closer look?”

He didn’t hesitate to give Bad the child. Bad might have only been an acquaintance but he knows for a fact that he is a peaceful person. Someone who only fights to protect but don’t let that fool you. He was still powerful and dangerous.

It didn’t surprise him at all when Bad poked lovingly one of the chubby cheeks of the baby and cooed “Aw, look at you! Aren’t you adorable!”

This seemed to confuse Wilbur though who saw Bad as a mighty demon, not as a demon that just melted at one look of a baby.

“What can you tell me about them?”

Bad’s happy, scrunched up face returned to normal, now looking with a serious expression towards Philza “They already have their horns which isn’t unusual but more rare. It’s close to how mine are formed so if we Demons weren’t spread thin all around the place I would say they would technically be in the same clan as me. It’s the typical form of pyromancers but that doesn’t have to be it. I can’t feel any spells on them not even any protective spells which is weird. Even if parents abandon their kids they still apply a few protective spells, hoping it will give them enough time for other Demons to find them.”

“So, you think their parents died?”

“I-“ Bad begun only to scrunch up his eyebrows, an air of sadness seemed to sweep through the room “We are so wide spread and don’t live only in the nether anymore, so, abandoning a baby hoping that another demon finds them is… rare at best. We stick together. Our kin is important to us. I don’t think this was planned. No, they would have given over their child to people they trusted. This feels wrong. Very wrong.”

His voice wavered a bit at the end. The sadness of the situation seemed to have hit him.

Philza crossed his arms as he listened, the kids now almost hiding behind him but still peeking at the strange man “That’s- I have hoped for something better somehow but I figured it would be something like this. Can you help? Will you think about my proposal?”

“I’m not sure-“ but he got interrupted by the cries of the baby but Bad reacted immediately. Slowly swaddling them and carefully wiping away their tears. Lulling them slowly to calm them down again.

“What was it you wanted to say?” Philza tried to get back on topic.

“I’m- I’m taking them home. I’ll be their father.”

A huge smile spread across Philza’s face “Well, congratulations and thank you. Do you already have a name for them in mind?”

It shocked him when Bad immediately answered “Y/N. Their name is Y/N.”

[cozycryptidcorner]

Monster Match #13

A Monster match for a wonderfully awesome user who wishes to remain anonymous!

So I learned I'm an INTP-T after some serious struggling and a near identity crisis however something I've always taken to heart and feel fits me to a T is my zodiac(s) which are Cancer (sun) and the rabbit those I'm much more confident in describing me I'm basically any of their stereotypes and I still don't know myself the best but I can think of highlights: I'm a hopeless romantic with relationship anxiety and a sex repulsed sex positive aspec as in I'm literally the whole aspectrum if it's on there I've experienced it at least once. I go by any pronoun However my favorite is what I describe as creature gender and my favorite pronouns to match are it/it's. I could be a plus size model if I wasn't so low maintenence (if you can't tell I have severe confidence both in the highs and lows simultaneously; I'm the best, I'm the worst) and while I have my moments that I Do Not Want To Be Perceived I absolutely adore when my body is worshipped by someone I want

You’ve been matched with a solarpunk dragon shifter!

There’s a reason why cities are called concrete jungles, even if the main building material of choice is no longer concrete. Buildings jut out into the clouds, sprouting from the earth like redwood giants of an older world, made from metal and plexiglass. Trains run through a carefully planned grid like a river, washing this way and that, providing perfect transportation for the thickly crowded nightlife. People of different backgrounds and cultures hurry to their destinations, each designated with a niche that keeps the system functioning and running. Like animals, even the most write-off job has purpose, the garbage collectors keeping the streets clean, the engineers keeping the structures safe, the accountants making sure wall street brokers’ tax evasions fly just under the IRS’s radar.

Since an overturning of corporate greed, though, vine-based plants crawl up against the buildings, working in tandem against the smog and pollution. State-sanction solar panel grids slowly follow the movements of the sun when it peeks out from behind the thick fog. No fossil fuels are allowed within a certain bubble of the city’s limits, which does wonder for the surrounding air quality. It’s a new beginning, a city managing to gut its previous infrastructure over a large amount of time.

There’s a whole new sector of custodians rising up to meet the demands of plant-based environments. Technically, they’re botanists, and should be regarded as landscapers, but the plant care is intrinsic to the buildings itself. Agricultural engineers work with architects to create special types of plating that encourages moss and other plant growth, while being repellent to mildew and molds. He works in the main area of the city, in atmosphere control. The job itself isn’t too terribly gratuitous, he monitors the oxygen and carbon levels in the various districts, flipping a switch to start working the air purifiers if things reach red. Compared to other towns that have yet to install them, the pollution levels are so low the city is almost at carbon neutral.

You don’t know what it is about him- but he looks like how an average agricultural engineer looks like in your head, when he’s in his human form. You don’t know if it’s the reputation of the half scientific, half farmer boy idea of the words, or if you’ve just seen enough of his fellow coworkers to facemorph him in your head. Or maybe it’s just his soft, gentle demeanor that screams his fondness for plants and gardening.

His hair is a mop of black, a shade that looks almost blue in the sunlight. Because of the pandemic restricting his haircut access, his hair has recently been developing into a mullet… which would normally be unfortunate, but he has one of those unique faces that seem to work with the length. Straight but voluminous, with bangs that carefully fall over his eyebrows. His eyes are a rich blue, the kind of blue that spills out from the top of the sky when the sun slowly sets. The irises large, almost a touch bigger than the average human, and you think it’s because dragons have some of the sharpest eyesight on the planet.

His skin tans in the summer and pales over in the winter, especially because he cannot stand the cold, thus minimizing his time outside. He gets all mad and pissy when it snows, despite agreeing that it is kind of beautiful, and making snow angels is fun, and sculpting eldritch abominations instead of snowmen is hilarious, but he will never be caught dead admitting to any sort of love for the winter.

His dragon form is something to behold, though he’s only licensed by the city for a few hours of full dragon-form during the week. It’s something about the height of the buildings matched with average air traffic; he has to get himself to a nearby smaller town surrounded by agricultural fields before he can take to the sky. He flies the same way people go out for jogs, to exercise those unused muscles and to keep himself fit. Though, admittedly, it’s to keep his dragon form in its prime, rather than keeping his humanoid form fit.

He’s as large as those trams, long and shockingly lithe. On the ground, it seems impossible to miss him, his figure so massive thirty people could ride upon his back. Dragons, though, have an iffy relationship with giving people rides on their backs. You think it has to do with the indignity of the action, similar to how horses are treated, but after awhile of dating, he seems to be fine with you tagging alone.

His scales are like his eyes, a reflection and dance of blues and greens. When he’s up among the clouds, he’s so well camouflaged that no naked human eye can see his figure. Up in the sky, he’s free, and you can feel the thrill of flight rustle through his body. While you might have to wear protective goggles for the wind hitting your face, he’s perfectly within his element, floating and diving as he wills.

Outside of his fondness for gardening and flying, he has a deep adoration for trashy reality TV. Not because he believes it, but he has a special sort of fondness for the insane amount of drama that stems from Love Island and the like. It’s the kind of show that he can only watch with you, while partially half-drunk on sweet wine, giggling and mocking the show for everything it’s got.

[hops-hunny]

Temptation

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x McGonagall!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4k

Request: “Could you maybe do a Neville x reader where the reader is McGonagall's grandchild?”

Summary: Neville had never experienced temptation, till it walked by him in a pleated skirt.

Warnings: Suggestive thoughts???

A/N: I won’t even lie, this was very self indulgent. I didn’t mean to write this much but oh well! Also I noticed I read the prompt wrong and wrote this for fem reader so I apologize anon. I still hope you can find joy in this!

Temptation. Temptation was a word Neville knew well. He had heard it many upon many times. From his peers, and even some of his teachers. However, he never really understood what it felt like to experience it, to have it coursing through his very being. Well, that was until it came knocking on his door or, to put it more precisely, walking by him in a (y/h/h) robe and vanilla-lavender perfume. He didn’t expect it to have such a beautiful laugh and he certainly didn’t expect it to be McGonagall's granddaughter! No matter how many times he had heard it described to him and how many times he had heard the feeling be recited to him like one of those shit muggle pop songs, it still didn’t prepare him for the real experience itself.

Could she be anymore perfect? Anymore graceful, anymore well, tempting? She was the kind of beauty that he read about in books and the kind of beauty he saw when he looked at all the flowers that bloomed within the greenhouse. He watched, observing her beauty as she walked. His face flushed softly as he saw her eyes light up, head facing straight ahead and shoulders held high unaware of his eyes of adoration upon her. His gaze was then shifted to her hair. The way the light reflected off of the (h/c) strand made his heart race! Next was one of his favorite things, her smile. Her smile was enough to brighten anyone's day! Well...it most certainly brightened his that is. His eyes fixated on her legs, the soft sheen they held. ‘God they look smooth, like the softest of pillows, the smoothest of silks, the fluffiest, puffiest of clouds. I bet the-’ he was broken out of his thoughts as she came to a stop in front of her grandmother which made him a bit queasy to his stomach. If only McGonagall new about his thoughts...wait did she? She could be using legilimency on him this very moment and he’d have no clue. What if she was, what if she-

He jumped, squeaking softly as a hand came down hard on his shoulder causing his body to tense. And his gaze to shift to the source of the force relaxing when he saw it was Dean. 

“Hey Nev, what are you doing just standing here? Oh I see what it is!” He exclaimed smiling at his lanky friend, watching his eyes flicker back and forth between in front of him and back to himself. Neville gulped, tugging at his sleeves a bit as his shirt suddenly began to feel constraining.

“Y-you do?” he asked nervously. His throat began to feel smaller. The problem with Neville’s little…’temptation’ was that he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had feelings for people before. He had his fair share of crushes throughout the year. But she was different. See, he wasn’t the first one to notice how beautiful the girl was. Heavens no! Quite a few of his peers had noticed just how breathtaking (Y/n) was but once they saw the last name that was attached to her, that was more than enough to turn them the other way. However, the connection to her grandmother not only put up an invisible force field for suitors, but friends as well. He found himself feeling sorry for her often, he could only imagine how lonely she was. 

“Yeah, I do. You were waiting for me to find you so you could help me with my herbology homework! Man Nev, you’re such a good friend.” he said. Neville rolled his eyes noticing all of Dean’s missing coursework for herbology within his hands. As much as he loved his friend, he also couldn’t deny how unbelievably idiotic he was. Although he was disappointed in how irresponsible he was, he was also relieved he hadn’t noticed what had actually had him standing there lost in his thoughts. “Oh and I also saw you staring at McGonagall junior. I don’t blame you mate, she’s bloody fit. Have you seen her in that skirt she wears to Hogsmeade? It makes me just wanna-” Neville smacked his friend on the back again ignoring his groan of protest. He began to walk off leaving Dean confused. Neville noticed the lack of his friend's presence near him causing him to turn around.

“Do you want help with your herbology work or not?”

-----------

(Y/n) sat with Luna in the courtyard, watching as her friend picked at the wildflowers twisting them and molding them into a flower crown. She sighed once again as she continued to ramble onto her. “I don’t know Lu, he’s just so cute! I wouldn’t even know how to approach him. Besides, he probably wants someone from his own house and year, yknow?” She said as she glanced at her preoccupied friend. “Are you even listening to me?” she huffed frustratedly. Luna looked at her, rolling her eyes at her a bit.

“You’re only a year below us (Y/n), you talk about him as if he’s an old man! Besides, the whole different house thing would only matter to him if he was a Slytherin. Neville doesn’t care about little things like that.” she took the completed crown placing it on her friend’s head as she smiled at her. “Yknow, for someone at the top of your year you’re quite daft.” Luna said nonchalantly, causing her friend’s eye to twitch. One thing (Y/n) would never get quite used to is her friend’s ability to tell people the truth as if it were nothing. Luna squeezed the girl’s soft (s/c) hand before smiling at her. “Besides, you’re beautiful! If he doesn’t want you, I know there are plenty of guys who most certainly do!” (Y/n) felt herself get quite shy at her friend’s words, rubbing at the goosebumps that were forming on her arm. But, she was right. She couldn’t let her thoughts of if or if not a guy liked her get her down. 

“Hey (Y/n), have you ever, yknow, actually tried TALKING to the guy?” Ginny asked, smacking on the taffy she had been eating. The (e/c) eyed girl felt herself getting flustered once again.

“W-well, the short answer is no. Don’t look at me like that! I’ve TRIED. Every time I try something comes up! I’m either almost late to class, one of his friend’s comes up to him, or I have to do something for my Nan! It’s a lot harder trying to talk to someone when you don’t have any classes with them..” she said as she began to pout, reminded of her failed attempts to speak to the awkwardly charming boy. Ginny popped another taffy in her mouth, processing her friend's words before smirking a bit.

“Just leave it to me, I have the perfect plan! Don’t you worry a single little hair on that pretty head of yours.” she said, causing both of her friends to side eye her both with the same thought in mind: ‘Oh Merlin, what is she thinking now?’

---------------

Well, what Ginny had been thinking wasn’t too bad but, (Y/n) was still quite nervous as she sat here. She was thankful Ginny hadn’t trapped them in a 1 on 1 situation or did something fucking stupid such as locking them in the room of requirement together. No, instead she had gathered her and Neville’s shared group of friends and decided to have a picnic together whilst everyone else was at Hogsmeade. Luna had asked the house elves to spare some of the extra food they had from lunch which they gave to her kindly considering how sweet she was to them always. 

Even though all of their friends were there, she still found herself being nervous which is why she still sat on the blanket with Hermione as Ron, Harry, and Dean picked on Neville lightheartedly by splashing him with water, Ginny and Luna challenged each other to different swim challenges, and Hermione read a book, relaxing comfortably under the shade of the tree. She sighed to herself, hugging her legs closer to her chest as she brought her face to rest upon her knees. She let her eyes wander back to Neville, a smile gracing her face as she observed him. She never got the time to just watch him in a natural environment. Every time she saw him, he was always so jumpy or nervous, awkwardly engaging in conversation with people who usually just wanted herbology help or needed advice on how to care for their plants. But now, watching as he smiled and laughed with their friends she realized just how infatuated with him she truly was. She took in the way his hair looked wet, his usually wavy hair drooped, water dripping from the strands. She smiled, noticing the way his crooked smile looked when he was his happiest. She began to get flustered noticing the way his arms had a bit of definition to them which (Y/n) could only assume came from all the heavy lifting he did for Professor Sprout in the greenhouse.

“You should join him. Sitting there and wondering what could be isn’t gonna get you anywhere.” (Y/n) gasped a little, whipping her head around quickly to look at her friend whose eyes were still fixated on the book in her hand, flipping the pages delicately.

“H-how did yo-”

“How did I know? You’re so predictable. Plus, you’re a little chatterbox. The only time you shut up is when you look at him.” Hermione giggled, finally peering at her friend over her book. She closed it and set it down on the blanket before taking off her cover up. She held a hand down to her friend. “Well, are you coming?” (Y/n) looked up at her friend, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought about it before nodding, letting Hermione pull her up. She began to take off her own cover up before taking a deep breath. She looked at her friend and they began walking towards the lake.

“I’ve never seen ‘Mione in a swimsuit before. She looks...like a girl.” Ron said to his friends as they watched the two girls near the lake. His friends all responded in some form of agreement. He turned to look at Neville, smirking as he saw him staring at the girls. “It looks like you agree don’t you, Nev?” Neville shook his head, a light blush coating his cheeks. Unknown to his friends he wasn’t looking at Hermione though, he was looking at her. 

“Yeah, she’s quite beautiful.” This didn’t go unnoticed by Ginny though who smirked, deciding to turn things up a notch.

“Hey, why don’t we all play some chicken? There’s enough of us!” Ginny said, beginning to walk over to the guys with Luna not too far behind her. “Unless you guys are scared, you know I’m the chicken champion so I wouldn’t be surprised if you w-”

“Don’t be ridiculous Gin! You know for a fact I’m way better than you, I proved that when you came to my place last summer.” (Y/n) said giggling at her overly confident friend. She tried sneaking a glance at Neville but found she had been caught in the act as Neville was already staring at her. She looked away quickly rubbing the back of her neck. Wait, why was Neville already looking at her?

 She shook herself out of her thoughts as they all began to pair off for chicken. The (h/c) haired girl went to approach one of her friends but found that Ginny and Harry already paired. She quickly tried turning to Hermione who made her way over to Ron. She sent one last pleading glance Luna’s way but the girl simply smiled at her before walking over to Dean. She felt her heart race at what she already suspected to happen. “I-I guess it's us, Nev.” she felt herself growing a bit insecure at having to sit on the boy’s shoulders. Although she was short, she didn’t have as small of a frame as her other friends did. “L-listen Neville, if I’m too heavy or too much for you to lift don’t even worry about it! I have no problem bei-”

With all the courage Neville could muster, he took a deep breath diving under water before rising up with the girl on his shoulder as his large hands gripped at her thighs making sure she was sturdy on his shoulders. She shrieked a bit at the unexpected gesture, gripping at his hair a bit. Holy shit was his heart racing. Had he really just done that? What had gotten into him? ‘Don’t back down, Nev! Say something cool, say something cool!!’ 

He cleared his throat some, before patting her thigh with his hand. “You’re fine. Y-you don’t weigh much of anything.” He said. She felt herself relax some, hoping he couldn’t feel the goosebumps on her thighs. However, Neville’s thoughts were far from the goosebumps. He couldn’t help himself from thinking that they were just as soft as he had imagined them to be. He was in deep and he knew it. “L-l-listen (Y/n), I-”

“Alright who’s going first? Me vs ‘Mione maybe? Come on Harry, move faster!” Ginny said. (Y/n) found herself trying to stifle a giggle at the sight before her. Ginny was tugging at Harry’s hair and yelling at the boy as he argued back. She couldn’t contain herself at the sight, she began to laugh trying to make sure she didn’t fall off Neville’s shoulders at the movement. 

Neville however was so entranced at that sound. He found himself wanting to be the person to cause that melodic giggle to come from her every time. “They’re so cute aren’t they?” she asked as he hummed in agreement. “I’d love to have something like that.” she mumbled to herself, however Neville had heard.

-------------------------------

Ginny was on a win streak, she had beaten Luna and Dean, and Hermione and Ron. She was feeling confident as she banged on her chest cheering which reminded (Y/n) of a muggle movie her aunt once showed her. She had been absentmindedly petting Neville’s hair, running her fingers through it as she swirled it around her fingers. He hadn’t minded though, his face was flushed a bright pink and he was much too scared to say anything, worried that if he did he would end up waking up in his bed and it all would’ve been a dream. He heard his favorite voice pull him out of his thoughts.

“We’re up next Nev, think we’ll win?” she asked as she leaned over, her face appearing in front of his upside down. He jumped a bit, pulling his face back and tightening his grip on her legs.

“C-careful (Y/n!) You might fall if you’re not!” he said, staring into her eyes. God were they beautiful.

“I doubt it, I’ve got you holding me up. I trust ya, you wouldn’t let me fall.” she said giggling as she leaned back up, her lips accidentally brushing against his nose and forehead on the way back up which has caused both of them to freeze up and a silence to fall upon the two. Their eyes both watched as Luna fell off of Dean’s shoulders again as Ginny cheered at another victory.

“But to answer your question, I think we’ve got this in the bag! Let’s do this!” He said as he waded over to them. She smiled at his enthusiasm as they looked over at them. She looked over at Luna who gave her a wink causing her to grow shy once more. 

“Ah a new challenger approaches!” Ron exclaims, his eyes drifting to the pair. Neville glared at Ron a bit when his eyes lingered on the girl above him’s figure for just a tad too long before he cleared his throat.

“We’re gonna kick your ass, Gin! Prepare to get that gorgeous red hair of yours soaked! Isn’t that right, Neville?” She asked looking down at his head as he nodded along. “Consider this a rematch to last summer. I’ve come to snatch my crown right from off your head.” she said placing an invisible crown done on her head laughing as Ginny scoffed at her actions.

“Bring it on (y/h/h)!” She said as Harry began to walk over to her. The two girls both began to approach each other with looks of determination in their eyes. Neville let his eyes wander to the water watching the girl’s actions through the water.

“Beautiful..” he muttered in awe as he gazed upon her affectionately. Although he was nervous, he was even more so nervous of letting her down. He tightened his grip on her plush thighs as a determined expression made its way to his face. 

Ginny and (Y/n) both began pushing and tugging at each other trying to get each other to fall. And (Y/n) did have to admit, it was no easy feat considering how tone Ginny was from quidditch practice and how out of shape she was herself from all those late night cake sessions with the house elves but it didn’t deter her at all. She continued to push and shove at Ginny. If she could only get a better grip...she didn’t have that much time to do so as the redhead girl gave a particularly hard push causing the girl to almost topple over. Almost being the key word. Neville gripped at her a bit harder at her as she went backwards causing her to fling forward with quite a bit of force. Using said force to her advantage, the (y/h/h) girl was able to push Ginny, sending her and Harry falling in. They both cheered Neville spinning around with her as they laughed before he felt something tug his leg sending them both flying into the water.

Neville resurfaced, spluttering a bit as he shook his head a bit. “Sod off, Harry! You’re a sore loser!” He exclaimed laughing with his friend. He turned to his side remembering the (h/c) girl. He watched as she resurfaced and took a gasp of air. His breath hitched as he watched the way she pushed her hair back, chest on display behind her swimsuit. God was she gorgeous.. He shook himself out of his thoughts, pushing some of her hair behind her ear that she had managed to miss. He watched as she looked away from him shyly muttering a soft thank you towards him.

They went at it for a bit more, the girls all determined to at least win one round. At some point, Ginny even put Harry on her shoulders and as it turned out, he was way worse at chicken than she was. Even Luna had somehow managed to beat him. But as they all went on, the group grew hungry and decided as the sun would be setting soon, it’d be a good idea to eat like they originally planned. They all gathered around on the large gingham blanket and once again, her friends turned against her leaving the only spot available for her next to Neville. However, unlike last time she decided to take full advantage of the situation. She feigned a shiver, catching his attention as she hoped. 

“A-are you cold, (Y/n)?” He asked, eyes full of concern.

“Yeah, just a bit Nev!” she smiled back at him, popping another grape into her mouth. Neville looked at her blankly for a bit before deciding to give into his temptation. See, the thing with Neville wasn’t that he was scared. No, in fact he had had his fair share of flings during his time at Hogwarts unbeknownst to his friends. It's just, she was different. He made his heart race in different ways and gave him goosebumps on his arms and back. She made his brain short circuit from the mere sight of her. However, he knew she would not be single forever. He wasn’t oblivious to the lingering looks his friends had been given her throughout the night and he certainly wasn’t going to stay in the same lane as them. So, without a second thought he grabbed her with ease sitting her in his lap, the soft skin of her waist meeting the soft skin of his arms as he pulled her into his chest. (Y/n) felt her breath hitch slightly, as her own set of goosebumps started to form.

“Is that better?” Neville whispered softly to her as his chin came to rest on her shoulder. She turned her head slightly, her lips slightly brushing against his freckled cheek due to their close proximity. Instead of responding, she simply nodded still in a state of shock. Was this really happening? Her (e/c) eyes came to meet Ginny’s who simply smirked, sending her a wink before she went back to her conversation with Harry. None of her friends seemed that shocked at the position they were in. (Y/n) found herself a mix between relieved and offended that no one was surprised.

Although (Y/n) hadn’t noticed anything, the clenched fist and furrowed brows of his own friends did not go unnoticed. He felt himself smile internally, Neville 1 and the others 0. He caressed her skin lightly as if she was made of the finest of porcelain that would break from even a bit of pressure. The Gryffindor boy felt a surge of confidence within himself as goosebumps formed under his fingertips. He was knocked from his thoughts as a ripe strawberry was pressed against his lips, turning his attention to the (h/c) haired girl. He slowly took a bite from it, pink lips wrapped around the red fruit. He hummed constantly as he pulled away. (Y/n) moved back slightly to look at him, giggling at his red stained lips as the juice rolled down his chin a bit.

“Hey, you’ve got a bit of..” she trailed off giggling more as she motioned towards the juice. “One second, I’ll get it for you.” she murmured, reaching for a napkin. Neville pulled her back causing her to give him a confused look.

“No need.” he whispered, pulling her forward, pressing his lips against hers. The kiss was a mix of everything at once. Passion. Hesitance. Desire. And oh, he couldn’t forget his little friend: temptation. He pulled her closer, settling his large hands at the base of her spine right about her rear as hers wrapped around his neck. The girl’s fingers twirled the hair at the bottom of his head trying to distract her from the tingling sensation she felt all over. Neville nibbled at her lip a bit, biting it as he pulled away. “T-this is probably the wrong time to ask but, are you seeing anyone?”

-------------------------

The next week, Neville found himself in that same spot in the hallway that he was in the previous monday. His thoughts drift to the angel known as his vice, his temptation. He watched as her smooth legs made their way down the hall, smile on her face as per usual. However, this time he didn’t have to crave to be the one those eyes were lighting up at. He didn’t have to crave to be the one that oh so beautiful smile was caused by, because he was. He held his arms open with a smile, stumbling back a bit as the (y/h/h) jumped in his arms. He caught her, twirling her around as they both laughed before he placed her on the ground grabbing her hand. Neville placed a peck upon her cheek, nothing but adoration in his eyes. He gulped slightly, sweaty palms as they walked by McGonagall but he found himself relaxing when she sent a wink his way as she gave him a smile of approval.

Although temptation had originally showed itself on his doorstep as a visitor in his home, it eventually developed into something more and became a welcome resident in his home. Temptation was no longer temptation, it was love.

[baphomets-hairy-bonkhonagahoogs]

Okay instead of Portal 2’s humor I’m going to talk about Wheatley next instead. Because I have more fully formed thoughts about this than I do the large, nebulous, and intimidating topic that is “Portal 2’s comedy”.

So, Wheatley. An incredible voice performance, a likeable enough character who (to me at least) has a pretty logical progression from Friend to Foe. But, the more I think about him the more he irks me. Not just from a “I don’t care for him as a person/character” perspective, but from a meta writing perspective as well.

It is a major part of the story that Wheatley was literaly designed to be a moron. To be stupid. To fill GLaDOS’ head with time wasting thoughts and ideas. He is described as a tumor. However, Wheatley isn’t really that stupid at all.

Wheatley is often unobservant, takes a long time to think, and accidentally bumbles into trouble, sure. When GLaDOS calls him out by pointing out that Chell did all the work to install Wheatley into the big powerful position over Aperture, I largely agree with her. But while Chell did do all the heavy lifting and many times came up with better solutions to achieving their shared goals, Wheatley did do a good amount of guiding and planning. He made it a goal to take out GLaDOS’ turrets and neurotoxin and then he executed that plan with Chell’s help. Chell very likely would have come to the same idea herself of course but it was Wheatley who ended up proposing it. Wheatley also helped to direct Chell around Aperture. Again, Chell would have been able to find her way around by herself but Wheatley did bring that knowledge set to the table. I believe that it would have been extraordinarily more difficult for Chell if Wheatley wasn’t around to help out in the first half of the game.

He isn’t uselessly stupid. In fact he proves himself to be resourceful and clever sometimes as well! He plants the explosive trap at the stalemate button because he saw it bite GLaDOS in the ass, he got rid of (almost) everything that could have hosted a portal on it, he gave himself multiple blast sheilds because that also bit GLaDOS in the ass.

Wheatley doesn’t feel stupid to me. Often his downfall is his insecurities or luck being against him (such as the moon becoming visible for Chell to shoot at) rather than being too stupid. Which brings me to my main point. Wheatley isn’t a stupidity core but rather an ADHD core that comes free with the insecurities that often follow ADHD people around.

I myself have ADHD, and ADHD is different for everyone. I want to make that clear. I can only speak from my own perspective on the matter. But, I find myself often relating to Wheatley.

We both have hyperactive minds that spew out thoughts before we can process if they make much sense or not. We both get easily distracted and ramble in a train of consciousness style. For an example of this look towards Wheatley telling Chell about the robot myths and stories about Aperture and its history while they both navigate behind the scenes in the first half of the story. We both think up obtuse, unconventional (yet creative) solutions to problems that are at times unnecessarily and often inefficient. For an example, see Wheatley’s frankenturrets or all the ways he tries to chase the high of the euphoria of testing. I often feel stupid or like “a moron” myself when I’m forced to work within a structure built for neurotypicals and inevitably fall behind. Remember earlier when I said that Wheatley is more often defeated by his insecurities than his supposed lack of intelligence? Well that insecurity stems from his own frustration at himself or ridicule from others when he can’t succeed at what is expected of him by himself or others (GLaDOS mainly). This is painfully relatable. His rejection sensitivity is delt with my lashing out and trying to maintain a level of control over the facility (not a very healthy way to deal with it, but it’s definitely more interesting for the story’s sake). When his intelligence is insulted he takes it very hard, I’d guess seeing it as a form of rejection, and overcompensates with classical music and “reading” Machiavelli. I’m sure there’s more I’m forgetting as I write this, but I hope I’ve got my point across.

Wheatley isn’t stupid, he just has ADHD symptoms. And often times people with ADHD are read as stupid, and ADHD traits are assigned to characters who are supposed to be stupid. I’d hope that it is obvious why this is problematic. And the issue isn’t exclusive to Portal 2 by any means. For example, Andy Dwyer from Parks and Rec probably just has ADHD with a big does of impulsivity.

Does all this make me hate Wheatley as a character? No actually. This is a systemic problem that I feel as though many creatives don’t even realize what they’re doing as they do it. I believe it’s ignorance in good faith over malice in bad faith. Is it okay if this makes you hate the way Wheatley is written and ruins him for you? Of course! It’s a personal thing. I simply wanted to share because if I can help other people notice it then hopefully it should stop happening.

While I don’t believe it’s intentional, I think it ends up saying a lot about how an ADHD person ends up getting treated in an environment literally not made for them. And power corrupts, of course, so I have a hard time seeing it as a “neurodivergent people are evil or bad people” narrative. Anyone who is given so much power is gonna turn fuckin’ evil, see GLaDOS or the disgustingly capitalist Cave Johnson (Though he was pretty evil from the get go. I’ll talk about Cave more when I talk about Portal 2’s comedy). Wheatley’s only flaws aren’t his symptoms either. He’s just kinda sexist as well, this shines through in little ways like his assumption that the human who beat GLaDOS was a man. Wheatley is complicated.

In conclusion, I hope that made even a lick of sense. I’ll admit that it was difficult trying to articulate all my thoughts of this in a easy to read way, so I hope I did a good job!

[marimo-o]

ok so im making a long ass post about Abzu (the game) within the context of mesopotamian mythology because I'm insane. It's gonna be a doozy and likely incomprehensible so <3 below the cut it goes! There's gonna be TONS of spoilers for the game, and, like, I guess for the mesopotamian creation epic, so. Play Abzu if you haven't and if you wanna read the Enuma Elish that's also cool. Good for u

(a note from afterwards: it's long. like, REALLY fucking long, holy shit. if you actually want to read the whole thing, be. prepared or something idk take breaks! the last two paragraphs (i know they're walls of text pls bear with me) contain most of the important information. like, the final hurrah of my brain after working on this for multiple hours! So if u wanna save time and avoid some of the redundancy, just skip to those last two <3)

So "Abzu" referred to two things; the fresh water people got from underground aquifers (also as the void-sea which was underneath the Sumerian underworld, Kur), and the deity; he only appeared in the creation story, Enuma Elish, because a big part of that whole thing was that oh no! He dies! And that's also a thing I'm gonna touch on (sorry about the lack of accent marks in advance, it's not available on my current keyboard^ ^;)

I'm gonna start off with a brief tale of what happened with Abzu the deity, and then move onto how both the deity and the concept relate to the game!

So like I mentioned, Abzu the deity only really appears in the creation myth. The story goes that the Primordial Soup divided into two beings, with Abzu representing the freshwater and Tiamat being the saltwater. They were married, and together birthed some of the first formative gods! Some of these gods, jealous of Abzu's power convinced Tiamat to kill him (or, I thought it was started by Tiamat growing resentful of the younger gods, one of those). Either way, Abzu was killed, and Tiamat ended up lashing out, creating the first "dragons", or perhaps becoming one herself; with "poison instead of blood". She is killed by Marduk, the god of storms and the child of Enki (one of the first gods created by Abzu and Tiamat), and from her body the heavens and the earth are formed. Imagine getting killed by ur grandson lol cringe /j

Now! The waters itself! This also brings Enki into the equation, who kinda took over as god of the waters in place of his dead father. He's also the god of creation, intelligence, crafts, mischief, and more! Very important guy.

Abzu refers to both the groundwater reservoirs that people depended on for both accessible clean water and for some agricultural work, and also to the void-sea beneath the underworld, where it is said that Enki rests. He had a temple at Eridu, a now-ruined city, and I remember hearing somewhere that he lived in a temple in an underground aquifer? But I can't find wherever I read that anymore so don't take my word for it. Anyway, the basics of Enki as a deity is: child of Tiamat and Abzu, widely worshipped in his time, god of the waters, generally a cool and important dude.

And now. Finally. We move onto the game. My head hurts.

So, for a quick (post-writing: lol it's not quick) overview of the game; you play as a funny little diver, who woke up in the middle of the ocean and, as the player, are given no clues as to who or what you are. You explore through the ocean levels peacefully at first, and with the guidance of a scarred shark (painted as a bit of an antagonist at first with the audio cues) you make your way to wells at the bottom-center of each level that revitalize the space around them; as they progress, many levels start out as barren, empty landscapes that give you a foreboding, nervous feeling going in, before using an energy from yourself to rekindle the life. Huge coral growths, seaweed, and a myriad of ocean animals spring to life. The player character can also ride on the sides of the bigger ones! The game also puts a big stress on unity between yourself and the environment; there's not a whole lot you can physically interact with, but you can play with the animals there and, like I said before, ride on some of the larger animals. There are also "meditation spots", statues where you can sit and explore the wildlife from more of their point of view, able to follow them seamlessly and see what the different kinds of fish and such are called. It's a calming experience, and really the most interaction you get with some of the more timid animals, letting you still see them up close even if you can't get there as the player character.

The story of the game is told via writings on the walls, which you can light up and access by solving small puzzles regarding connecting reservoirs of glowing waters, similar to that of the almost cosmic area you go to between levels; one thing I read described it as a kind of "rebirth area", which I can definitely see hehe!

At the end of the game, you've held the shark in its dying moments, you've discovered a strange factory that builds the weird triangular prisms that deliver anything that touches them a shock, the little flashlight dudes that you've found over the levels, and little divers that uncannily resemble yourself, and you've seen yourself disassembled to your funny little mechanical skeleton, weak and slow as you try to walk on land, before you are rebirthed from the void-cosmic-water area once again, fully yourself. There's a wonderful ending sequence where you swim through all these rivers, bringing life with you as you go, with the shark once again by your side. The whole game, you saw no land when you poked your head above water, just miles and miles of water, but you've travelled far enough to reach a reservoir. You cut the chains to a central triangular prism, and it grows over with moss. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it, really, it feels like such a... grand gesture as you play through it. It feels personal.

Okay. Theory time. Finally, we're getting into the meat of it. Fucking hell.

So, imagine that you are this being. You're wandering an oceanic wonderland, observing and caring for what you need to, doing as any good little diver should. After a bit of poking around, you discover the start of the engravings on the walls; they tell the story of the people that were here before you, who built these temples and halls and used, or at least stored, the strange blue glowing "water" that you connect and move. It's a water of life, of sorts, one that they truly valued. You come to an impasse between areas, and this massive, scarred-up shark cuts in front of you. You're gonna stay hidden, that thing is terrifying! You try not to move. It doesn't spot you, or at least doesn't move to attack you. However, once it's safely out of view, you do follow it, and it leads you to a dark, desolate, empty chamber. This is wrong, you think to yourself. This isn't how it should be. There's a well, towards the bottom, and you approach it, taking... a fragment of light, from your chest, and imbuing that spark of life into the well. And, lo and behold, that intuition proved helpful, because the world around you springs back to life. Congratulations! You did it! And you continue to, as you work past puzzles and challenges and the appearance of these strange triangular mechanisms, that shock you when you get too close. These people worshipped a shark, as well, likely the same as the one you saw; the guide, now old and scarred, that brings you to where that spark is needed. Even later in the game, you see depictions of the triangular mechanisms, at first heralded as a positive, before these things are found to be the reason for this society's collapse. As if that wasn't perplexing enough, you see a depiction of a being that appears suspiciously similar to yourself, once again treated with reverence from the past civilization. In their hand is a ball of light, similar to the one shown when you revitalize the oceanic chambers. Well, that's certainly odd, you think to yourself. Perhaps this was a being that postponed the death of the civilization, or first allowed for those small chambers of life to exist in captivity instead of the open, natural landscapes you explored at the start. Regardless, it's now a relic of something long gone; but it still gives you something to think about. Later on, that strange coincidence of your similarities to that person are explained; you find a manufacturing plant, full of the vicious triangular mechanisms in each tight hallway, and right at the center of it all... multiple iterations of yourself, running down an assembly line, a spark not unlike what you saw before imbued into each of them. My, look at that; you've been responsible for part of this destruction all along, haven't you? Borne from that same ill that has been forcibly removing that spark from each of the places you've gone to. A bit inconsiderate of you, no? And yet... look at all the good you've done. You've rebirthed, revitalized, purified these ocean fragments, is that not enough? You are the keeper of these waters, regardless of the evil you had come from, despite the terrifying empty things may have reverted to. You, who trusted and followed the shark that seemed so scary at first. You, who followed it as it tried to attack a source of the evil, of the thing that was draining the oceans of their life. You, who held and comforted that shark as it lay dying, despite any fear you may have had. You, who attempted to traverse a minefield of those triangular machines, shocked over and over again and at the final moment, unable to make it to the finish line. You, who was rebirthed in full regardless by the oceans you'd cared for, by the void-sea you always returned to, to rest. You, who traversed a now-ruined citadel, temple, all of which had been flooded and had been dedicated to you. You, who brought life with you.

I hope you see what I'm getting at here. You're serving as a figure not unlike Enki, god and guardian of the waters. In the wake of Abzu, the avatar of the fresh waters, now confined to irrigation canals so as not to kill the younger gods, Tiamat lashes out. Her husband is dead, as far as she is concerned, and she goes to those younger gods to seek her revenge. The dragon, that which sucked the life from the seas and poisoned the waters. That which Marduk killed, to carve new life from. I would say that the shark is Marduk, even; given how the shark is the only one who is openly on the offense to those mechanisms, and who comes in at the endgame to finish them off, bringing new life with it. Even in how it all shapes up with the civilization before, in connection to the constructs; Tiamat was the mother of all in existence at that time. She was surely loved; but she turned hostile and violent. She could no longer be safely loved. And Abzu, both the glowing water we use to open doors and the light that we hold and the deep void-sea we enter between levels and father to all in existence, he was confined to small canals and reservoirs and put in a deep sleep so that he would not kill his own children. And by you, no less. Enki put him there. That is why you can use that water from the start; you lived in the Abzu, you came from it, and each time, that is where you return. That temple, now submerged and decrepit, is Eridu; the place where Enki was most worshipped. The other diver clones are the other gods, or perhaps the "dragons", now, that Tiamat had mothered. The smaller prisms definitely count in that "dragon" category; purely harmful beings that seek to destroy life. And in the end, indeed, you restore life; you and your son, upon killing Tiamat, return life to the world from her body. Perhaps you could not save those who once worshipped you, perhaps those structures will forever be in ruin. But there is no more danger, now; there is space to build and replenish. There is space to grow.

Fuck ok that was long as hell. Hi if u made it this far i love u. god fucking damn im never writing anything again after this. it took about as long as a full playthrough of the game, coincidentally!!