#i was actually alone with the Gay Friend a while ago bcs we were walking up a hill of sorts uhmm. 700 steps! i was first up and down and

[astrxealis]

hi! i came out to my aunt an hour ago. it went well. i was really nervous but she was really nice and hugged me and lune and said "you know you can go to me for anything like this" so. <3

[nancywheelersgirlfriend]

hey so for the fic request, i was wondering if you could do a fic about the mike will jonathan and argyle road-trip but they have to stay at a motel and byler has to share a bed (not anything yk bc they’re literally children) but through mikes pov i just wanna see him have a gay panic and freak out and get his inner thoughts

this is my first byler fic!! more of a short character study than anything. i hope this is what you were looking for!!! :)

gentle on my mind (1,392 words)

“We can only afford one room.”

Mike didn’t realize he was supposed to react with anything but mild annoyance before the sentence hit him square in the chest. Nearly knocked back by the emotional weight, in reality he stood and teetered to the side. The rest of the group interpreted this as his tiredness. He knew otherwise.

There was something about the implication of one room that bothered him. Two beds. Four boys. Honestly, the fact that it was getting to him was worse than the actual situation; had he never shared his bed before? Of course he had. Back when they were small enough, he and Lucas would sleep shoulder-to-shoulder on the bottom bunk of his bedroom, Dustin and Will on the top. That was how they spent summer nights. But they’d stopped doing that years ago. Mike had been sleeping alone.

Tonight, though, he wouldn’t be. Out in nowhere Nevada, shackled by clothes days-old and smelly, stood in between his best friend’s brother and said brother’s best friend, ignoring all eye contact with his best friend and trying not to wish for the world to implode. 

Instead Mike stared at the water stain on the ceiling that looked a little like a mushroom cloud. He could hear Jonathan’s low conversation with the woman at the desk only in subtle vocal tones - parents in Charlie Brown style. He knew, distantly, that this should be the least of his worries. And it was. He was trying to make it so, at least. El was somewhere lost in the desert. He hadn’t seen her in days. Sleeping arrangements shouldn’t have mattered to him.

“You alright, little dude?” Argyle asked. His voice was swimming. Mike turned away from the ceiling to glance over his shoulder, realizing he’d stayed rooted in place while his travel companions had begun heading for their motel room. 

“Uh, yeah,” Mike said intelligently. He picked up his lead-heavy feet and followed after, trailing and bumping into the columns as they walked back across the parking lot. He missed the comfort of his own bed. He missed his ability to avoid conversations he didn’t want to have. 

Sleeping in a bed with Will meant that they would have to talk. About what, exactly, Mike honestly wasn’t too sure of. The list seemed endless. He dreaded having to come up with reasons for why he had acted the way he had - all oblivious and stupid, no letters or calls or nothing. In reality he had no justification for the way he had treated Will. In his mind…

In his mind it was a different story. But a story he wasn’t willing to utter aloud, especially to the boy he’d have to survive sleeping next to. Getting killed in his sleep wasn’t on Mike’s bucket list. 

He watched Jonathan fiddle with the lock, some shitty key bent halfway down from years of misuse. Across the motel Mike suspected no-doubt shady dealings were going down; they were so isolated. Still in the back of his mind he knew the most intense and unpleasant event to happen that night would be sharing this stupid bed. 

“Right or left?” Will asked. Mike blinked back into focus to see that somehow, somewhere, he had made it through the heavy red door and was now stood at the foot of the offending bed. He looked at his best friend and back down at the mattress. 

“I don’t care,” Mike managed to choke out. He spun on his heel because just the sight of the bed was making his hands clammy. Will shuffled behind him, Jonathan and Argyle arguing by the bathroom sink. Mike moved to stand and look out the motel window. Past the opposite end of rooms, rooms potentially available to avoid sleeping in the same bed as your best friend, the desert stretched on endlessly. El could be anywhere. They were so alone out there. Mike was alone.

Except -

“Let’s go to sleep,” Will dragged out the last word childishly. Mike heard the springs of the mattress groan underneath his weight. He tore his eyes from the desert and submitted to his fate. 

Will was sprawled out on the bed, long legs kicking back and all, his hair ruffled from the day’s stress. His face was pressed into the pillow. Mike watched his mouth come slightly ajar to breathe deeper in sleep, eyes pressed shut. His eyelashes fanned out on his cheeks. He’d gotten tan in California, hadn’t he? Mike had never seen Will as anything other than on the verge of translucent. But the sun had given him colors. And freckles. Freckles that spread out across his nose, his arms. They dotted his forehead, disappearing into his bangs. It looked good. He looked good - you know. Having color. It made him healthy. Obviously he didn’t look good for any other reason.

“Mike!” Will said again. He flopped out a spaghetti limb to pat at the empty space beside him, but he didn’t open his eyes. Mike swallowed, sent up a quick prayer, and submitted to his fate.

Jonathan flicked off the last light left in between them. The room was shrouded in darkness. Only the blue light of the motel sign across the way was visible. Its neon power dripped onto the floor through the blinds, casting shadows on Will’s face. 

Mike knew he should turn over on his other side and forget the whole thing entirely. Laying on this side (his left) specifically to watch Will do whatever it was he did while he was sleeping was the stupidest idea Mike had ever had the pleasure of having. But he didn’t turn around. And neither did Will. The latter because he was halfway to REM by this point. The former for no particular reason.

Except there was a reason. He liked watching the way Will’s eyelashes fluttered everytime he took a breath. The subtle shift of his chest in a rhythm Mike appreciated paying attention to. The way the blue light of the sign lit up Will’s face in a way Mike had never seen before. Distantly Mike was reminded of the time he’d slept over at Will’s house during his period of hospitalization. How strange and affected Will had been then. He’d been at his palest. Sickly.

Now he looked healthy and good. He looked like a stranger. Maybe Mike had been the one making him sickly all along, and now that Will had moved he was thriving. He didn’t know. They hadn’t had time to talk about it. No letters or phonecalls either. Mike realized he’d committed a worse act than sharing a bed with your best friend - sharing a bed with a stranger.

God, but he didn’t want Will to be a stranger. It killed him inside to call him that. He wanted to know everything about Will inside and out. He wanted to be with Will constantly so that he wouldn’t even have to tell him - they’d sense it together, as they had when they were kids. He missed that closeness. He was desperately craving it right now, lying with a good foot of space in between himself and Will.

Slowly the realization that Mike had been avoiding for years budded at the back of his neck; like a Pompeii-level migraine. He ignored it. There were more important things to worry about. El was gone. He hadn’t called his mom in days and had no real way to.

But he wanted. Mike wanted. What he wanted he couldn’t admit. But it felt realer than anything else. 

Mike reached out and brushed apart Will’s bangs on his forehead, feather light and nearly unregistered. Will let out a little sigh but he kept his eyes closed. His hair had felt nice.

Mike was hit with a wave of wish, suddenly, to touch Will everywhere. Feel his hair by burying his hands in it. Pull him close for warmth even though Mike was burning up with a mental fever. Press all his fingers into the individual freckles to keep them there, hold them down. 

He was just tired. He was just confused. There were more important things to worry about. Mike swallowed back all protests against himself and shut his eyes. The image of Will, sleeping there with a hand tucked underneath his head, stayed.

It was the best thing he’d ever seen. 

[sunflowerdaisybee]

Hello!

Could you do a scene where dream runs into his m!ex. They originally broke up bc dream wasn’t ready to come out, but after meeting again dream realises he still like the reader. It can be angst or fluff or whatever u chose :)

Please hydrate and take care of yourself <3

Thank you!!

-the new 🐝 anon who definitely got requesting down on the first try

I find the concept of ‘previous lovers who ended things and then fell back in love’ to be stupidly cute, anyways I hope you enjoy :] /g /pos

Summary: You agree to go out on a date with the one person you were hoping to avoid

Pairing: Dream X Reader

Pronouns: He/him

[A/n]: Requests are open, check out the 1000 follower special <3

Having been shunned and put down your whole life for being gay was something you were glad to be past. You had fought your whole life, celebrating who you were every chance you got. Maybe that’s why his words hurt you so much, maybe leaving wasn’t the best choice.

“I’m just not ready to come out yet.”

“I understand but have you thought about how I feel? I can’t hold your hand or kiss you in public, I can’t introduce you as my boyfriend to any of my friends. I’ve had to hide my whole life and now I’m stuck doing the same thing. I love you, I really do but this isn’t fair to me.”

“Well then maybe we should break up because things clearly aren’t working out.” The memory played over and over in your head. You hadn’t thought of the man in a while but seeing his face had brought the whole parade of thoughts marching back through.

“(Y/n)?” You physically recoiled as the man called out to you, the hope was that you could be in and out of the store without him seeing you but that clearly hadn’t worked.

“Dream, hey.” Turning to face the man you saw him smiling at you, a hopeful shimmer in his eyes.

“It’s been a while huh, thought you moved out of town?”

“I did, my job had me moved back here as part of a promotion though, so I stopped to pick up some groceries while I had the chance.” You motioned to your half-filled cart, there wasn’t much but enough to make a few decent meals.

“Where do you work, I know you were set on that one job.”

“I actually found something I like a lot better, it’s the perfect fit. If you don’t mind I’m actually kinda in a rush, I’ve gotta get moving.” You attempted to turn and walk away only for Dream to stop you.

“Let me take you out to eat sometime, please? I wanna apologize and make up for lost time, my treat.” You agreed, only to get him to leave you alone though, you had no intention of following through on his offer. He asked if you still had the same number to which you responded yes, rushing off before he could hold you any longer.

It was late when you actually got around to responding to his message, lying that your errands had kept you busy when you had actually been ignoring him. You didn’t hate Dream, you were kind of glad to see him again, you just couldn’t deal with the possibility of reliving prior events.

Saying no was never a strong suit of yours, especially when it was a cute guy asking you out. Dinner with Dream had gone better than you had expected, he was very polite and apologized for everything you had long forgotten about. He was very clear about how he still had some feelings for you but respected the fact that you didn’t quite feel the same.

“I don’t know if you really care about this, seeing as it’s been too long to really count for anything, but I came out to the public not that long ago. I’m not in the closet anymore and I understand why you enjoy it so much, it really is freeing.”

“I’m happy for you, it really is freeing.” Dream smiled at your smile, glad to see you enjoying yourself.

“So uh, not that I’m trying to ask you out or anything but, are you seeing anyone?”

“Actually no, I didn’t really have time to get to know anyone with how thrown into my work I was. I’m not sure if I really want to get to know anyone, I’m at a good point in my life, I have a new place, a great job, I’m enjoying every day. Dating someone just seems so, how do I put this, challenging?” Your sentences dragged on as you tried to find the right words to finish off your thoughts.

“I get it, dating can be a lot and it doesn’t always go right.” You and Dream continued chatting as you ate, reconnecting and filling in for all the missed years.

“Ya know, I didn’t think I’d actually enjoy going out with you this much, no offense or anything. I’m really glad I came though, it’s been nice to just chat with someone and forget life for a moment.”

“No offense taken, but hopefully we can do this again sometime soon, I’d love to go out with you again.”

“I wouldn’t mind that, you have my number.”

Taglist: @joyfullymulti @minty-ghast @rokkyy @duddum-froppers @sortzz @vaxiwastaken

[konaizumi]

A Tale of a Thousand Stars ep 7 thoughts/reactions

so, the whole tian killed torfun thing, here’s my thoughts: I don’t think tian was the one driving the car because the show has refused to actually say it straight up despite implying it multiple times, so they prob just want us to think that, it was prob his friends driving the car or something, but tian is still involved and somewhat responsible for what happened bc he set up the race which is why he feels so guilty

on tian’s guilt, i think it’s a complicated issue and i think he’s not free of blame in the situation but I do think he is taking too much blame if he wasn’t behind the wheel, and, not to put the blame on torfun exactly, but she did walk out onto a busy street at night, you know, it wasn’t like they swerved up onto the sidewalk and hit her

how many more times is phupha gonna have to watch over tian while he’s unconscious

also not a huge fan of detective nam this ep, while i do think he deserves some answers, i do not think he should’ve gone behind tian’s back like that to get them, he should’ve confronted tian directly

love to see phupha in the casual camo

poor tian, he’s just really got it so rough this episode and he’s already got self-esteem issues then more incidents keep piling on which seem to confirm the negative thoughts that he already has

and it’s difficult bc when tian says the bad stuff wouldn’t’ve happened if he hadn’t been there, like, it’s true, which really makes the situation more complex but i like that there isn’t necessarily an easy fix and that this can’t all be solved with the power of friendship, you know?

i really hope there’s a focus on tian’s mental state and that he doesn’t just magically get better when all the problems are solved and once everyone forgives him because it’s not that easy and I want to see the actual process of healing

not me every episode getting distracted from the dialogue trying to figure out the shapes on phupha’s cameo, i just noticed this ep that some of the brown spots are deer

phupha’s hurt puppy dog face when tian returned the shirt

tian’s hurt face when phupha says he’s not going to try to convince him to stay, like he was so hurt at that moment when he thought phupha wouldn’t even try to fight for him

“don’t you miss your home?” not really, my dude

“then you stay here...indefinitely. Can you?” phupha subtly trying to gauge whether tian would be willing to stay in the village with him if they were to start a relationship

that cute scene where phupha tries to hide the tea sachet

the gay panic is strong this ep

“who said i would offer you the bed?” *offers him the bed*

the gay panic continues, phupha really knows exactly what he’s doing

is it just me or has tian just looked so small this ep?

also, tian is in a tan forest ranger shirt which means he borrowed a second shirt

the only reason phupha keeps implying tian is taking the role of his wife is because tian reacts so cutely to it

im sorry but do these kids not know how to brush their teeth? and is he showing them how on an onion?

when did tian learn cook after nearly burning his house down?

please enough with the torfun comparisons, i know they’re just adding them to shake up tian and for the angst, i don’t think they’d actually go the route of torfun’s spirit being part of tian, but like, p’aof, please just leave tian alone he feels shitty enough as is

also excuse me, dr nam, are you, a medical professional, really trying to imply that torfun’s spirit might be in some way affecting tian bc he has her heart??

tian’s doing that thing again where he complains with a smile but he’s not really complaining

i really want tul to meet longtae and then just watch the chaos they and tian create together

phupha risking quite a lot to get rid of sakda so the village is safe enough for tian to stay

super not into the scene where nam, rong, and yod are flirting with girls even tho they are all implied to have partners - like i get that the point was to emphasize that phupha’s in love with tian but the scene still could’ve done that without the three of them flirting, the girls could’ve just flirted with phupha

istg when phupha said he started thinking about something impossible i 100% thought he was referring him feeling like a relationship with tian was an impossibility and then tian would say something ambiguous that clearly implied that it wasn’t impossible and it would be all cute then he opens his mouth and says tian is like torfun and i wanted to smack him

is it really necessary to add in this tian/torfun comparison plotline? is there not already enough angst????

like the scene still could’ve been super romantic but still angsty bc tian would turn away from the kiss bc he feels like he can’t start something while he’s still keeping secrets

(which i know would just add to phupha’s insecurities but tian’s already got enough on his plate)

however, the way the music hits a discordant note then fades as soon as he says it and the way tian’s smile immediately drops, just like the instant atmospheric mood change was really well done

the whole scene was just really well acted on both sides

“are you going to confess your love to me?” just the way phupha prob meant to say this jokingly but it came out more seriously than intended

also as much as i want them to kiss, i am glad they didn’t during this scene, tian needs to tell the truth before anything can happen (not that i really thought they would kiss during this scene anyway

the way the village came together to rebuild the school hurts bc of what’s going to happen next ep

And the children are just so cute, istg if anything happens to them

if nam is actually telling phupha what he found out im gonna be so pissed at him for taking that away from tian, it really needs to be tian who comes clean about it, especially because he was planning on it, he wasn’t trying to keep it secret forever

what really makes this whole situation worse is that not only does tian have to tell them about torfun’s heart and his role in the accident, but he has to tell them about torfun’s death, which should not have to be his responsibility. The forest rangers should’ve told everyone a while ago, and it’s not tian’s fault that they don’t know. So all the villagers are now going to associate tian with her death simply because he’s the one delivering the news. If they had already known and had time to process before tian got there, i think it would be very easy for them to still accept him when he told them about how he had her heart and he was just trying to carry on her wishes, but now all the feelings they have about torfun’s death (which apparently happened months ago) are going to be directed at tian

phupha please stop your flirting, you’re going to give tian heart failure again

still a good ep even tho the angst was pretty heavy, I’m glad the reveal will finally happen next ep so we can get that out of the way and finally move on, can’t wait for next friday even tho it’ll prob just be even more angst

[artificialqueens]

Girl I Met On The Internet, 2/? (Crystal x Gigi) - Strawberry

a/n: aaaa i’m so glad everyone liked the first chapter! i think this story will end up staying focused on gigi and crystal for the most part, but there is some (one sided) jankie in this chapter if you’re into that! also: just in case no one got the reference, the nickname crystal gives gigi, ‘georgia rose’,comes from the 1d lyrics “Said her name was georgia rose, and her daddy was a dentist” from their song ‘best song ever’!

gigi: are u okay :( ily crystal

crystal: yeah i just got picked on by this cheerleader that doesnt like me

Technically, she wasn’t lying. Crystal didn’t think it was too bad, considering she really only ever saw Dahlia in history class, but she still made it her mission to make that 45 minutes rough for Crystal whenever possible. This time it was pushing all of Crystal’s belongings off of her desk while she was leaving.

gigi: fuck. im sorry. 

crystal: it’s fine dskjdshjgkjf i wish all cheerleaders could take notes from you and jan

gigi: yaaas me and jan invented being nice

gigi: but i was wondering if maybe you could teach me about one direction later tonight?

Crystal had tried to convince the group earlier in the week that One Direction was the best boy band ever, and had only managed to get Jan to agree. She was glad that Gigi had finally come to her senses.

crystal: finally changing your mind? amazayn!

gigi: i regret asking now. take that pun back to 2011!!!!

The rest of the day went as normal. The chat was pretty active, but eventually died down at the end of the school day. Everyone seemed to have plans; Jan was studying, Jaida was going out to hang with friends, Nicky was sleeping, and Heidi was starting a new challenge on the Sims. It appeared to be just her and Gigi, alone in the group chat. 

Crystal decided to message Gigi privately, not wanting the rest of the girls to see her go into full stan mode. If someone asked Crystal about her interests, she could go hours before thinking of stopping herself.

crystal: ok miss gigi are you ready for your 1d crash course?

Crystal told Gigi everything she wanted to know and even more. A history of how they got together, way too much information on each of the five boys, telling her the best songs on each album, and making sure that Gigi knew ‘Midnight Memories’ was their best album. 

gigi: but ur @ is dedicated to made in the am?? fraud!

crystal: HELPFDFHBJ

crystal: mmcrystal sounds weird… like no thanks 

gigi: that was very interesting.. i’ll def listen to midnight memories in the morning <3

crystal: YAY! gigi 1d stan finally

gigi: no promises! :)

Crystal didn’t respond to that, not really knowing what to talk about now. Having a group of friends helped her be less awkward, but it definitely didn’t fix that problem completely. 

gigi: do u wanna play 21 questions or something?? to get to know eachother better???

Of course, Crystal jumped at the chance to get to know the other girl better. It started very innocently, asking about favorite colors and foods. Gigi quickly changed that.

gigi: uhh… have u ever kissed a girl?

crystal: sadly no.. my state is full of straight people

gigi: same.. ur turn

crystal: this feels awkward to ask but uhhh….

As soon as she hits send, she instantly regrets it. She backtracks what she had originally typed, desperately trying to come up with another question. Crystal was not able to think of anything else.

gigi: ????

“I guess I’ll have to do it,” Crystal says, talking to absolutely no one. She types it out again, looking away from her phone as she blindly tried to hit the send button, like it would help her situation be any less flustering for her.

crystal: how long have you and nicky been dating?

Would Gigi find it weird that she asked? Gigi was the one who brought up kissing girls, not Crystal, so it would be fine. Right?

gigi: CRYSTAL WHATBDGNHSDMFD

gigi: nicky and i are not dating omg im single

gigi: she’s like my sister. plus i would never do long distance

Crystal was so embarrassed. She was relieved this conversation was taking place through a screen, so Gigi wouldn’t see her blushing face. 

She was pleased that she was wrong about the two girls, but Gigi’s answer was upsetting to her.

They asked a few more personal questions before Gigi started asking Crystal would you rather questions instead. Crystal’s favorite out of them was if she would rather get a mullet or dress like a clown every day for the rest of her high school career. The answer was both, obviously. 

They spent the rest of the night sending each other stupid questions, giggling to themselves. The later it got, the more Gigi would flirt with her. At least Crystal thought it was flirting.

gigi: it’s really late and i have a test tomorrow so im gonna go to sleep. goodnight, babe

Gigi always would say ‘goodnight, bitch’, and this made Crystal even more confused. The ongoing joke that lesbians had the hardest time telling if a girl is into them or not was one of Crystal’s favorites, but now she couldn’t help but wonder if that was exactly what was happening to her. There was obviously a connection between them, but it was unclear to Crystal if it was just platonic. 

It didn’t hit her until later that night, while she was trying to fall asleep, but Crystal wasn’t entirely sure where Gigi lived. She knew they were in the same time zone, but wasn’t sure what state she was in. It was totally possible that Gigi lived in Missouri, but Crystal highly doubted it. Though Gigi obviously trusted Crystal enough to want to play 21 questions with her, she was still very private, and Crystal wasn’t too sure if Gigi would tell her what state she was in. 

Crystal fell asleep thinking about her highly unrealistic perfect world, where Gigi lived in Missouri and where Crystal wasn’t just another Nicky. 

-

Crystal got onto Twitter right after waking up the next morning, ready to ask Gigi if she happened to live in Missouri, but quickly got distracted with a very interesting conversation going on in the group chat.

jan!: now i may not be gay but i’m in love with a woman… 2 words jackie

jaida: i- that’s only one word

jan!: fuck

heidi: the way i can’t tell if you’re joking or not

jan!: the way i don’t think i am joking

gigi: YAAS about time u admitted that u like her

crystal: hold on i thought jan was straight?? who’s jackie???

nicky: do you really think a straight person would hang out with us?

crystal: good point 

jan!: I AM STRAIGHT! i think? i don’t know i’m so confused. 

heidi: jackie is jan’s local @ crystal

gigi: jan be like: im straight.

gigi: but also jan is like: wow jackie is so pretty and she’s so funny and smart i’m going to fail geometry so she can tutor me but no homo!

heidi: the delusion janice has…

jaida: not to be serious but if you think you like jackie, you probably aren’t straight baby. everyone else hush and let her talk

nicky: ^^ yeah jan what happened

jan!: first of all i did not fail geometry i just said we should study together so we did!!! and have been for months! but last night i couldn’t focus at all bc she’s so pretty all i wanted to do was k*ss her out of nowhere

In a way, Crystal could definitely relate. Gigi wasn’t her local, she still didn’t know what the girl looked like, but she still kind of wanted to kiss her. She couldn’t focus on anything besides Gigi sometimes, not like she would ever admit it. 

All of the girls had sent many comforting messages addressed to Jan, saying that it was okay, and she has all the time she needs to figure out her feelings. Afterwards, everyone had gone back to being playful. Gigi also tried to convince her to make a move on Jackie, which Jan refused.

gigi: if u talk to her u guys can get married <3

crystal: gigi you’re so stupid i love it

jan!: omg did someone say stupid love??? stream! 

gigi: crystal back me up :(

crystal: i might’ve found out who jackie is only 10 minutes ago but i will cry if jan doesn’t talk to her right now

jan!: better start crying bc i dont think i can even look at her now

jaida: that’s not saying much at all. you cried the other day bc gigi sent a pic of her dog

crystal: I AM A NANCY STAN FIRST AND A HUMAN SECOND!!

Crystal knew she looked like an idiot, walking to her locker with her eyes glued to her phone and a dopey smile on her face but she couldn’t care less.

-

The day actually went well for Crystal. The highlight of her day was finding out that the story she wrote for her creative writing class had gotten the highest grade out of everyone in the class, earning her a piece of candy. 

crystal: just got candy and a 99% on my story for class… i truly have the mind of a mastermind

jaida: beauty and intelligence in one combined!

Navigating through the halls was much more difficult when your eyes are glued to your phone, but replying to a meme Jaida sent seemed much more appealing to Crystal than getting to her seventh period without worrying about bumping into someone.  And bumping into someone, she did.

“What the actual fuck, weirdo?” Dahlia yelped, looking extremely offended, “Get off of your sad, cracked phone and watch where your dumb ass is going.”

Crystal just stared at her, frozen in fear. Dahlia taunted her daily, but this was very different from how she usually acts towards her. It was quite terrifying. 

“I swear to God, if you ever look at me, let alone fucking touch me again-” She continued, but before she could finish her statement, she was interrupted by her friend, Georgina running over and pulling her away. 

Crystal didn’t think Georgina shared Dahlia's hatred for her, and Crystal didn’t hate Georgina either. Georgina actually seemed very sweet besides the fact that she had never bothered to step in on the rare occasion Dahlia happened to target Crystal outside of class.

“Can you please leave her alone? We don’t have time for this.” Georgina groaned, looking back at Crystal, flashing her a quick smile, before turning around to escort Dahlia to what Crystal assumed was cheerleading practice.

“But she bumped into me!” Dahlia whined, not used to being interrupted like this.

“Really? Wow, funny. I don’t care.”

Once they were out of sight, Crystal was alone again. She pulled out her phone and went to check if anyone had said anything else in the chat; just Jan freaking out, because Jackie had smiled at her in the hallway.

heidi: everyone say i if you think jan should stop being a baby and ask jackie out

jaida: i

crystal: i

jan!: WTF

jan!: friendship ended with heidi, jaida and crystal. now nicky and gigi are my best friends

jaida: they would say i too if they were online and you know that

jan!: i don’t need friends! they disappoint me!

Crystal decided to not use her phone while she was walking home, not wanting to have a repeat of the Dahlia situation. Her after school routine changed a lot in the past week, making a rule to not check Twitter before completing her homework. Her Twitter addiction was getting worse, but since it was also causing her to be more productive with doing her homework, she saw no issues with it. Once she had finished, she picked up her phone to see that Gigi had messaged her less than a minute ago.

gigi: hey clown :) im done w practice

crystal: WHY AM I A CLOWNDFSHDM

gigi: u just have clown energy. i cant and wont explain 

crystal: honestly yeah i see it but can i at least be your clown wife or something

gigi: yeah <3 hey clown wife! i listened to most of midnight memories and it was really good! my fave song is u and i

If that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? Crystal had never been able to get anyone to listen to anything she recommended, ever. She was filled with glee, double tapping the message to heart it. It meant a lot to her.

crystal: YAYAYAYAYA im so glad but it looks so ugly when you spell it like that 

gigi: my fave song you and i* >:(

crystal: better 

gigi: if i have to stop spelling it as u to make you not divorce me i will

Crystal knew deep down it was just a joke, but it made her heart race. The feeling she got every time Gigi would flirt with her was very unfamiliar, but very nice. It didn’t help that Crystal thought ‘You and I’ was one of the most romantic songs One Direction had, she couldn’t help but make the fact Gigi liked it out of all of the other songs into something it was not.

This reminded her of her late night thoughts. She had completely forgotten to ask Gigi where she lived, but the idea didn’t seem the greatest now that she was fully awake. She was still curious though, so against her better judgement she asked, without a segway or anything.

crystal: i forgot to ask but what state do you live in? asking for science

gigi: oh i live in missouri

crystal: omg me too

gigi: i don’t wanna reveal where but this is amazing.. maybe we won’t have to break the distance at all <3

Pleased that she somehow got an answer, Crystal changed the conversation into a discussion of ‘Midnight Memories’, and if Gigi agreed with the opinions Crystal had shared the night before. She did, for the most part and before they knew it, it was time for Gigi to go sleep. Had they really talked all evening? 

gigi: i have to get up early so i need to go to sleep but im really glad jan added u to the gc

crystal: and im happy you asked me about one direction!

gigi: me too. ur cute when ur passionate. i hope we can continue to grow closer

crystal: i’d like that.

gigi: goodnight, my clown :)

crystal: goodnight, georgia rose

gigi: U DID NOT

gigi: my full name isnt even georgia and dad isnt even a dentist but i’ll allow it bc i know u think u invented comedy

gigi: ok gn now <33 luv u

crystal: gn!!! sleep well

Crystal wanted them to stay like this forever.

[okaybutlikeimagine]

okay but imagine this: billy has been living with hopper for a while now but hasnt come out to him yet, one day steve drives billy home and kisses him goodbye on the porch, suddenly hop opens the door and yells "what the fuck do you think youre doing?!", billy is terrified bc hes sure hes about to lose his new family but it turns out that jim was actually talking to steve and starts giving him a shovel talk

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I had to look up what a shovel talk was and i feel so dumb but) I 100% feel this in my soul and i’m cackling at it. (also these are basically the same so i’m gonna lump them together if that’s alright! ~♥)

Okay i think we can all agree there’s often a double standard w/ daughters dating vs sons dating but i also think that Hop is just Protective Dad ™. Like, Hop is antisocial, yes, but he has kids again and these kids have been broken and beat down in the past and he has made it his absolute Life. Goal. to protect them from literally anything. Like…. I totally think Hop used to be the kind of dad to say shit like: “Roll them around in the mud as a baby, it’ll help their immune system.” 

But now after Sara (and every shitty thing that has been happening in this town) he’s like: “You have a stomach ache? We’re taking you to the hospital.”

and yeah maybe some people would call it paranoia but to Hop it’s just good parenting, alright???

So anyway, Hop fucking hates when Mike is over w/ El, we all know this, the man was having a borderline breakdown the entire last season over it, but holy shit when Steve comes home with Billy?? OOF.

It’s on a calm and quiet night when Hop and El are in the house eating dinner, not having waited bc Billy told them not to bc he was “gonna be late tonight.” and that confused Hop bc he knows Billy doesn’t have a lot of friends that he doesn’t think are absolute assholes so who is he hanging out with, exactly??

But we all know it’s Steve. Bc Steve and Billy have been hanging out for a while now (they fought monsters together tHEY FOUGHT MONSTERS TOGETHER if i say it enough maybe it’ll become canon) and Hop knows they know each other but Billy never really says where he is when he hangs out w/ him bc Billy is 110% afraid that he’s about to lose this Very Good Thing he has going. Just bc he’s gay. Because Hop doesn’t know and while Hop has given him absolutely NO reason to be scared, that scares Billy the absolute most bc he’s just waiting for it now. Like waiting for the straw that’s gonna break the camel’s back and get him kicked out. It just feels inevitable to him bc all he’s ever known about home is to be afraid of it. To always be on edge and hyper aware.

So Billy was more than a little nervous about taking Steve’s car instead of his own when they went out but Steve insisted this time. And honestly, the evening was so soft and intimate and it was a little overwhelming for Billy bc they hang out a lot, yeah, they’ve messed around w/ each other a bit, sure, they’ve kissed a few times, totally. But all of it was pretty drunken/high and in the heat of the moment and tonight was absolutely none of those things. Tonight was near pure and Billy feels kinda funny. Kinda blushing and bashful and he really tries to ham up that machismo everyone thinks he was born with so he can get rid of these pesky emotions except it’s fading away real quick bc Steve is legitimately walking him to his fucking door. And you know Billy’s heart is racing for a number of reasons (a couple of them being inside the cabin) and once he reaches the porch he turns around quickly and leans his shoulder on the banister next to him, looking down at Steve who’s eyes widen a bit at the sudden change of plans here. Billy gives him a cocky grin, doing his best to hide his nerves.

“I think I can make it from here, Harrington.”

“You sure?” Steve asks, shoving his hands in his pockets and giving a confident and amused smirk. “Ya never know, out here. Y’know, I heard a rumor that there are some… monsters running around or something.”

Billy chuckles low, shaking his head.

“You’re a dork, Harrington.”

“You’re beautiful, Billy.”

And shit, if that doesn’t catch Billy off guard. He blinks a little harder for a second, looking down at Steve with knitted eyebrows but the boy is looking up at him from the lower step like Billy put the fucking stars in the sky just for him. And that last lick of sunlight is making everything glow golden and Billy just kind of stutters bc whatthefuck, and Steve takes that last step onto the porch, all of the confidence in the world basically living in his eyes as he places his hand on the side of Billy’s face and whispers what Billy thinks might be goodnight? But it’s lost against his lips and-

And little do these sweet boys know that there is 1 (one) Chief Jim Hopper standing in the window, peeking out through the curtain (bc he heard the footsteps on the porch and immediately went to see who it was) going absolutely red with anger.

In a second he’s in the doorway, the door slamming against the wall and Hop’s voice booming out: “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”

And holy fucking hell if they both don’t nearly jump out of their skin bc goddamnit they just got caught!! By the Chief of Police!!! Biggest, most intimidating man of Hawkins!!!!! Billy’s fucking dad!!!!!! Billy can’t imagine a worse scenario and honestly he’s doing the mental math on where he can go after he gets kicked out again bc he doesn’t know anyone else in this town and yeah, Steve’s parents aren’t home a lot, but what about when they are??? is he gonna be able to charm them enough to let him stay???

Billy is shaking like a leaf and Steve is looking at Billy so worriedly, super un-fucking-sure of what to do bc he knows Billy admires Hop so damn much and if he loses Hop he doesn’t know what Billy will do. So he’s watching Billy’s sweet, scared face as heavy footsteps get closer to him and-

“Oh shit!”

Steve is the one who’s collar is getting grabbed and whose weight is suddenly a lot lighter now bc he’s being lifted. There’s a harsh snap followed by a big finger being pointed in his face and a threatening grumble of:

“What are you doing touching my son?”

And Steve is about to flip his shit because holy hell he’s about to get snapped in half by Jim Hopper. And he’s not even questioning it at this point, honestly. He feels pretty damn sure he’s about to get snapped in half. Bc Hop doesn’t hate Steve. He really doesn’t. He actually even kind of likes Steve more recently bc El likes him a lot. He babysits the kids or something and he stopped being annoying. But Hop does hate Steve’s family. He thinks his parents are rich douchebags who look down on everyone for no goddamn reason. He knows they leave their son home alone all the time. He also knows Steve vandalized the local theater a couple years ago and was an overall cocky menace for a good majority of his life.

Jim doesn’t hate him, but he definitely doesn’t think he’s good enough for his son.

“Uhm, I-! I was-! I wasn’t-!” Steve is stuttering, a little confused as to how this turned so quickly. “I didn’t do anything!”

“Right, and you putting your greasy paws all over him was ‘doing nothing’, huh?” Jim growls, grip getting tighter.

“Uh-!” Steve doesn’t know what to do and hell neither does Billy. He’s going through multiple waves of emotions over here, from the relief of not being kicked out, to confusion over if it’s okay that he’s gay?, to a kind of very real terror bc wait a second he’s about to murder Steve

“Dad! Stop it! What are you doing?”

“Billy help-!”

“Dad, seriously! Put him down, holy shit!”

Hop loosens his grip only because Billy is calling him dad, but he’s still got a hand on Steve’s collar. He whips his head around and looks at Billy.

“Do you like this punk or what?”

“What?” Billy chokes.

“I said, do you like this punk or what?”

And honestly, this is kind of too much for Billy. Like, he briefly considers letting Steve just get snapped in half or something rather than admit to whatever feelings are blooming inside of him for the boy. But Steve is looking at him with those (albeit very scared) doe eyes and he’s melting and everything is bubbling up and it really, truly feels like he’s about to hurl or something.

“Yeah. Yes! Yes, I like him, just let go of him!”

“Right.” Hop nods. “Alright then.” He turns back to Steve. “You.”

“Y-y-yeah?”

“If you hurt my boy in any way, shape, or form, you’re going to answer to me. And I mean it. You hurt him and i break every single one of your fingers. Got it?”

And Steve kinda just wants to be let go now thanks and honestly couldn’t think about ever hurting Billy but he also can’t think of anything at all while his heart is beating so fast so he just nods and runs to his car once he’s let go.

Billy is just in absolute awe at the scenario, confused as he watches Steve speed away, feeling just about every emotion possible all at once… before he smacks Hopper’s shoulder.

“What the hell was that? You almost killed him.”

Hop sniffs. “I still get a weird feeling about that kid.”

“You barely mention him.”

“I’ve never liked him before.”

“You were just telling El yesterday that you think he’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, that was before I found out you’re dating him.”

“Oh my g- we’re not dating!”

“Did you eat?”

Billy pauses. “Well uh…”

“He didn’t even feed you?”

“We got distracted.” Billy crosses his arms.

“See,” Hop grumbles. “If he was a gentleman, he would have made sure you ate.”

“God, shut up!” Billy pushes at Hop’s chest lightly before walking into the cabin to make himself up something real quick, hoping with all his might that his brute of a father didn’t scare away this boy that he maybe possibly really likes.

[bagof2780teeth]

The Story of My Crush and I

Yes, this is gonna be a very useless lesbian story about me and my crush.

No, I'm not exaggerating with uselessness. I really am that useless and that much of a clueless bottom.

So hold on tight and follow this rollercoaster of emotions (I might promise too much, but idc, just read it)

Oh, and also, I can and will advertise this as butch x femme bc she's like,,, the butch girl of your dreams and I am the emo femme.

We met because of a mutual friend (let's call her A). So A and I were online friends but luckily we only live like 1h by car or 2 by train apart so she invited me to her birthdays where I met her friends and also my crush. I think we knew right from the beginning that everyone (except for A) is gay. Same interests in music, tv shows, whatever, I get along with A's friends very well. Which is great. Obviously.

I don't know at what point I started crushing. But I knew that on the second birthday party of A I was invited to we were playing truth or dare and I got to choose who I want to kiss. I wanted to say my crush but I was too awkward so I got to kiss A herself and another of her friends. But not my crush. Later that year (it must have been the same year) A, my crush and I went to the cinema together to watch Love, Simon, it was summer. I lowkey hoped for some kind of arm/hand touching action, you know? But yeah, nothing happened, but crush and I always looked at each other when you could see some reference to panic at the disco (brendon urie our lord and saviour). That's that. About 1.5 years ago now.

I possibly had some kind of "relationship" of two weeks with a boy, I regret it. I never wanted my crush to know, bc I still wanted to have a chance. Yeaaaah, let's just not talk about it.

About one year ago, A set crush and me up on a "date" (apparently we both were complaining that we wanted a girlfriend.). I think it was around that time when I told A that I actually have a crush on my crush.

So we went to a Christmas market, we were just walking around, at some point we got chips and she was like "I'll pay" and I died a little. Yeah, that's the most "intense" it got, no holding hands or anything. Pretty disappointing, right?

I think the next time we met was my Birthday party. She and A stayed over night because of the distance so it's just less stressful. I actually was invited to her birthday party as well but my (not anymore) best friend decided to have hers on the same day so I thought since I was closer with my best friend, her party was the right decision.

Crush is literally one day younger than me, btw.

So since A's birthday is also in the same month (march, my people, it's insane) A's party was the next time we met. And again all of the other friends I already knew. At some point crush taught me some kind of dance figure (discofox) so our hands touched, wow so intense, she has very soft hands.

At some point, again, truth or dare, but it was just crush, me and one of the friends (the one I got to kiss a year prior). I had to say whom I wanted to kiss if I had to and I was like "ehhh, I don't mind, really", but obviously, I was just too insecure to say my crush's name.

A and my crush both came to see my school's musical (obviously I was in it). When they talked to me afterwards A hugged me in a way that felt like she was trying to lift me up. Since she's smaller than me I was like "are you trying to lift me up?", said it in an ironic way. My crush then said let me try and yes. She did.

A also mentioned that my crush first thought about getting flowers for me but since they had to drive for a while she didn't and I,,, did crush really think about that???

Time went by.

Crush and I only communicate via snapchat.

When I was on holiday she texted me something like "we should meet again when you're back, I miss you" and I, slight gay panic, responded probably "same" and something saying that we should meet!

And we did. We met a couple of times so I'm not really sure what happened when and first or whatever. But I think it was the first meeting (or date???) When we went to a nice roof top bar (it was summer. Summer of 2019) and again, she said she'd pay. So we sat there for a while, talking about... anything, gay things.. casually.

Later we got food (pizza. Pineapple pizza, we both love it and if that's not a sign....) and after being too awkward to ask for the bill we somehow managed to get it and the waitress placed it in the middle of the table. Why am I mentioning that?

So. Before that happened my crush said that with same sex couples it's a "thing" that whoever gets handed the bill is the top. At least in the eyes of the person handing you the bill.

Let's just say that I really have no top energy and the waitress only put it in the middle bc I already had my wallet out.

Btw. I paid. I said we'd pay together and that I'd pay. Most top energy I've ever had in my life.

Later on we were just sitting at the riverside, talking. Eventually it started to rain and we ran somewhere to not get that wet. Yeah. Funny. It really was funny.

About a week later (I got a cold bc we sat in the rain. wow), when we were snapping, she mentioned that she finally found some friends to go swimming in a lake with (it was a really warm summer week) and I was like "oh, lucky you, I don't have anyone to do that". Guess what she did? She invited me to come as well. A and some of the other friends I know were coming, so that was fine for me. Of course my dumb ass lesbian self said yes and the next day I spent two hours on a train to get there.

That was a Wednesday. On Thursday I'd have my very last oral exam in school (graduating is fun n stuff). Why's that important? Well, I made some more poor decisions that day.

When we were like.. done with swimming the plan was to drive to my crush's place to have some kind of bbq. A and I wanted to go to A's place first to shower. On the way we figured out it would be more convenient for me to head directly home because of my exam the next day and how the trains run. I texted my crush what was going on and she was like "you could sleep over at my place and go home tomorrow morning" (my exam was around 2 or so). Of course I said yes. She then asked me if I wanted to drink something specific (there is this certain brand of sparkling wine she knows i love and got it for me).

So we then spend the evening sitting in my crush's garden. I had the whole bottle of sparkling wine for myself since I was the only one liking it/not having to drive. My crush had beer, so that's fine. After all the other friends left we we're just sitting alone, outside, in the warm summer night, talking, sitting in silence (not that awkward kind). At some point she suggested to star gaze when it got dark enough. So guess what? We were lying in the grass next to each other, looking at the night sky and making up names for random star constellations. When it got cold she got us some of her jackets.

Eventually I was slightly drunk since I didn't eat much and drank the whole bottle and I maybe ended up asking her how obvious me having the crush was. Well. Let's just say that my subtweets aren't as sub as I am.

Yeah, so that was the last thing we talked about before sleeping (ofc i had to borrow some of her clothes). Awkward? Maybe. But not really, since nothing changed between us. She knew.

I think the next time we met was when we went to get new piercings together. Chaotic energy, very spontaneously. It was fun, I don't regret anything. I can't remember anything worth mentioning that happened.

So since I graduated this year my live obviously needs to go on. I'm doing a gap year, as an aupair. So I did some kind of "good bye party" with my closest friends before I left.

My crush was invited as well. So, first, she brought me a bottle of my favourite sparkling wine. Then, (I was really stressed) she told me to breath, calm down, or sit down and if I remembered it right she did make gestures that I should sit on her lap? Anyways, I didn't, I had to do something else.

At some point that day we were all sitting on the sofa, me next to my crush. She said something like "my arm hurts" and placed it around my shoulders and then said "oh look how smooth that was". Yeah, I died.

She helped me doing the dishes at like 3am and we talked about random things.. maybe some more "private" things.

A few days later she explained to me how she felt (Text. Not in person, do we look like we aren't socially awkward?). She told me that she really wanted to give me a clear answer but she really can't say if she has romantic feelings for me or not. Like she can't say yes but she also can't say no.

Unrelated to that thing I texted her and asked if I had a chance (I was prepared to get a clear no, so I could stop crushing, you know) but she told me that I do have a chance. Why are lesbians so bad in those things.

Yeah, then, I went abroad. We still snapped pics to each other. She told me (multiple times?) she'd come and visit me if she had enough money.

She on day told me that she had been to a nice veggie restaurant and said that we should go there one day (I'm vegetarian).

When I was sure that I'd come home for christmas I told her and we planned to meet. The idea was there but to actual plan what we wanted to do.

In the meantime we started to do almost daily "good night" snaps and suddenly she started to include a heart in her good night message to me. Eventually I did so too and now we almost every day send each other a picture saying goodnight with a drawn heart on it. You wouldn't do that if you knew the other person has a crush on you and you wouldn't want them to have this crush, would you?

And also she really isn't a person to use much emoticons, certainly not hearts.

So now the plan is that I come over to her place on new years eve (which is tomorrow.)

She said she'd look forward to it and I am literally dying of gay panic and excitement.

Additionally, you know those things on Twitter "@ the xth person, it's your whatever" yeah. People did that with "@ the 6th person is your new years kiss" guess who that person is for me? Literally my crush's Twitter. Eventually I did post it with a "lol" (ironically.) and she responded to it with this smirking emoji. You know which one. 😏. That one.

Yeah, that's pretty much the story. I am a gay mess. If she finds this, I'm dead. Well. Anyways, I'll have another 6-8months abroad when I go back so what could go wrong. Haha. Ha.

I'm way too lazy to check for typos and I might have not included every single detail, but you get the broad idea.

Thank you for your attention, I'm out (what a pun).

TL;DR: lesbians being the useless lesbian cliche, I still don't know if i had a chance

[anti-pasto]

for the 200 ask thingy, i actually dare you to do all of them. :D

delgaskarthalexhere we go, anon: 

200: My crush’s name is: I don’t have one right now, I don’t get them often (if I ever had a crush at all)

199: I was born in: 2003

198: I am really: A 2005 emo kid x a 2008 scene kid x a 2014 tumblr fangirl x Kyle himself

 197: My cellphone company is: Apple

194: My ring size is: Honestly? No idea. Propose to me with a sword.

 193: My height is: Somewhere between 5′7″ and 5′8″

192: I am allergic to: Nothing I’m aware of 

191: My 1st car was:  94 Station Wagon, by request

190: My 1st job was: being this funny is a full-time gig

 189: Last book you read: Bone Gap by Laura Ruby

188: My bed is: “made”

187: My pet: I have a cat, I love her very much and I will show her to you if you dm me a cursed image

186: My best friend: We don’t use “best friend” for personal reasons, but they’ve been with me since I was 5 so, my one and only Bro

185: My favorite shampoo is: anything with “silky smooth” or “strawberries” on the bottle. i’m not that picky anymore.

184: Xbox or ps3: xbox or ps4  xbox

183: Piggy banks are: really useful

 182: In my pockets: wallet, keys, phone, earbuds, black pen/pencil, earplugs, mini flashlight

 181: On my calendar:  i’m meeting a friend for smoothies tomorrow

 180: Marriage is: something we shouldn’t push so much onto people. it’s a declaration of love, not an end-all fix-all to your life. i can’t ever see myself getting married but who knows!

 179: Spongebob can: continue to be a relevant meme

178: My mom: i mean. we function. i can’t really complain about my family at large but i am defiantly looking forward to living literally as far away from them as i can. 

 177: The last three songs I bought were? psh, you think i pay for music? (folie a deux, lake effect kid, believers never die volume two) (those are albums but its okay)

176: Last YouTube video watched: I watched Markiplier play Uno

175: How many cousins do you have? 11? 12? I lost count

174: Do you have any siblings? I have a brother

 173: Are your parents divorced? Nope!

172: Are you taller than your mom? Yes, I have been for a while

171: Do you play an instrument? dude HECK yeah! i vibe on piano, guitar, ukulele, clarinet, and im a drum major

170: What did you do yesterday? I went on a drive by myself.

 [ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: Nope.

168: Luck: Yes, but luck is something that can be engineered

167: Fate: To an extent

 166: Yourself: I’d say overall, yeah. I still have doubts tho

165: Aliens: Mmmmmm yeah

 164: Heaven: Yes

163: Hell: Yes

162: God: Yeup

 161: Horoscopes: without an ounce of truth, they would have died a long time ago

160: Soul mates: the greeks had seven words for love. i think we have multiple soul mates to fit each of those categories. there are definitely people we’re just meant to vibe with

159: Ghosts: i want to say yes but i really dont know

158: Gay Marriage: yes. its 2020. grow up.

157: War: in theory? no. war is kinda messed up. in reality? not everyone is going to be down to nice diplomatic conflict resolution, and not everyone is just gonna leave people *countries* they don’t like alone, so...

156: Orbs: ??? energies are real

155: Magic: vibes are real

 [ This or That ]

 154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs

153: Drunk or High: i am a child of jesus

152: Phone or Online: online

 151: Red heads or Black haired:  irdc but black hair bc i am Emo

150: Blondes or Brunettes: blonde?? ig?? easier to dye

149: Hot or cold: hot weather + cold rooms

148: Summer or winter: summer

147: Autumn or Spring: autum (screw spring)

 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla

145: Night or Day: night

 144: Oranges or Apples: oranges (better to share with homies)

 143: Curly or Straight hair: i dont care but curly

 142: McDonalds or Burger King: mcdonald give iced coffee

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: dark chocolate

 140: Mac or PC: pc for vidgya gaemes

139: Flip flops or high heals: ...converse. please. i cant walk properly in either of those

 138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: sweet and poor 

 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi

136: Hillary or Obama: this is kinda outdated but obama

135: Burried or cremated: cremated i aint watch spn for nothin

134: Singing or Dancing: singing. at least that gets better with practice

133: Coach or Chanel: chanel (thank u mr frank ocean and also the neighborhood)

 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: whomst

 131: Small town or Big city: big city and if you say small town you’ve never lived in a small town

 130: Wal-Mart or Target: target

 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: who tf is this

 128: Manicure or Pedicure: idk dude probably pedicure i don’t like people touching my hands and i use them for too much to get my nails done

127: East Coast or West Coast: hnngggggggg west coast has more to do but east coast has better beaches and 

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: birthday 

125: Chocolate or Flowers: chocolate bc then i can give u some

124: Disney or Six Flags: ive only been to disney so disney (though i AM a HARDCORE rollercoaster stan so it wouldnt take much for me to say six flags)

123: Yankees or Red Sox: what 

 [ Here’s What I Think About ]

 122: War: unfortunately sometimes necessary but not as a first resort i went over this already 

 121: George Bush: is that the shoe guy?

 120: Gay Marriage:  be gay. do crime. kiss wife. or husband. or partner. basically, hell yeah

119: The presidential election: america need 2 b single and focus on herself

 118: Abortion: pro-choice and that choice should be made by the one carrying the baby

117: MySpace: tumblr’s dad

116: Reality TV: don’t talk to about abt this

 115: Parents: disgusting. go to therapy. 

114: Back stabbers: if you’re gonna stab me in the back, pull my lungs through my ribcage bc that’s what my ancestor’s ghosts are gonna do to you (thanks great (x a few times) grandma viking ily thanks for the hair:) )

113: Ebay: good for merch and selling books

 112: Facebook: zuck my dick, data-theif

111: Work: i like doing work? like- i enjoy completing tasks and seeing my hard work pay off? it’s not that bad?

110: My Neighbors: old. boring. want me to babysit for free.

109: Gas Prices: i cant really complain rn they’re kinda low and im a little broke so

108: Designer Clothes: i vibe to them, honestly

 107: College: not for everyone but definitely for me

106: Sports: marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport marching band is a sport but only technically speaking though you can make fair comparisons to sports such as cheer, and gymnastics where the idea is to put on a show and receive a score in the form of competition. 

 105: My family: disgusting

104: The future: the future doesn’t exist

 [ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: god, don’t ask me this

 102: Last time you ate: uhhh like 9 hours ago? it was dinner and i had pizza

 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: three or four weeks ago by best bro came to visit and we vibed

100: Cried in front of someone: i finished twist and shout at school at the end of a very bad week. it was only a few tears but that’s as close as i get to crying

99: Went to a movie theater: whenever the last star wars movie came out

98: Took a vacation: last year i went to dc over summer break to see the Smithsonian, it was a lot of fun. i was supposed to go to altanta and florida this year but that didn’t happen for reasons

 97: Swam in a pool: last week

 96: Changed a diaper: never

 95: Got my nails done: never

 94: Went to a wedding: its been at least 6 years dude

93: Broke a bone: never, somehow

 92: Got a peircing: nope

91: Broke the law: technically, yesterday. 55 is too slow

90: Texted: just now

 [ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: the person in my snap named “junior”

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: my cat

87: The last movie I saw: probably into the spiderverse

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: things going back to normal. or somewhat normal. i need school to have a schedule bc i absolutely cannot force myself to function without outside influence

 85: The thing im not looking forward to: ironically, school in the fall. the way we’re going back is going to wreck me more than lockdown already has

 84: People call me: i only ft one of my bros and they know who tf they are if you ask to ft you’re getting fuckin blocked mate i dont do that shit video calls are for WORK and SCHOOL thats IT. but ppl call me by my nickname irl, i go by screech on here. 

83: The most difficult thing to do is: listen to my parent’s political opinions? live in a small town? force myself to be productive without a physical influence and reminder? put up with that one dude?

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: nope

 81: My zodiac sign is: scoprio/leo/gemini

80: The first person i talked to today was: the potential bassist for our potential band? 

79: First time you had a crush: uhh im still not sure if it was a crush but i wanted them to myself and they wanted (and got) someone better. we were just friends so it doesn’t really matter

 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: the person on snap named “the great oracle”

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: yesterday, it was my brother

 76: Right now I am talking to: in order of snap names, “vibin ~[^.^]~”, “russian umbrella”, and “mom” (not really)

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: hopefully, a job that makes me happy

74: I have/will get a job: as soon as i know what’s going on with school. but like as an adult? wherever will hire me and pay my fairly. being a barista would be fun, but at a local place (not in my current town)

73: Tomorrow: ???? time for bad poetry: tomorrow i will see my friend/ admist this lasting chaos/ we will be each other’s solitude/ while sharing fruity drinks/ and when we both come home/ a smile we will bring

72: Today: idk what this means so more poetry: today i will be sleep deprived as always/ i will think of them and weep/ but no tears will fall from my eyes/ for i know there is a reason/ we went our own way

 71: Next Summer: i fr dont know whats goin on so: next summer i will be/ as happy as can be/ because i will be in pain no longer/ the earth is sure to heal/ and i will heal with her/ so i can enjoy/ the heatwave of next summer

70: Next Weekend: next weekend i will spend/ my days wasting away/ maybe ill finish hannibal/ again/ not that serial killers make the dopamine stay/ i will not see my friends/ or talk to my family/ i will seldom eat/ and live off coffee/ this has been my life/ all quarintine/ god someone please help me

 69: I have these pets: i have four cats, three chickens, and a dog

 68: The worst sound in the world: my dad and grandpa talking

 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: Them

 66: People that make you happy: snap name time: the great oracle, junior, vibin ~[^.^]~, russian umbrella, mom, hero, booby-king 48, go to bed, son, pooper trooper, mac&cheese, plain egg biscuit, apple pie

 65: Last time I cried: i dont cry bitch (last week over officals that cant make up they gottdamned mindes)

64: My friends are: my family and i would die for each and all of them

 63: My computer is: an old hp but it play gaemes real good so it okie

 62: My School: is trash but the band pops off

61: My Car: old, fast, clean

60: I lose all respect for people who: are my dad

 59: The movie I cried at was: i cried over big hero six

 58: Your hair color is: blonde

57: TV shows you watch: supernatural, good omens, hannibal, parks and rec

56: Favorite web site: this hellsite or youtube

 55: Your dream vacation: out of the country with beautiful beaches, amazing food, and my best friend

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: the time i split the back of my head open, the time i split my chin open, and the time my then best friend said they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. i’ll let you guess which one hurt the most and which one i think about every fucking day

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium or medium well. 

52: My room is: clean and a reflection of myself, or so i’ve been told

51: My favorite celebrity is: i do not engage in celebrity worship. ill follow them and reblog gifs/interviews but i dont really have a favorite. the less i know abt them the better.

 50: Where would you like to be: my own apartment in nyc

49: Do you want children: FUCK THEM KIDS BRO

 48: Ever been in love: i dont know if it was love. i dont know if it was a crush. what i do know id that i was attached and they didn’t feel the same, and why would they?

 47: Who’s your best friend: we dont really use best friend bc but “the great oracle” “junior” and “vibin ~[^.^]~”

46: More guy friends or girl friends: its 50/50

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: goin fast, the beach, playin video games

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: them

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: go to college, earn degree

 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: commit arson

 41: Have you pre-named your children: FUCK. THEM. KIDS. BRO.

40: Last person I got mad at: they do not understand that they do not know everything about something they’re not even involved in yet

39: I would like to move to: new zealand

38: I wish I was a professional: artist? musican? youtuber? who knows

 [ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: nerds

36: Vehicle: 1970 mustang gt

 35: President: jfk only bc his assassination is the only good thing abt american history the rest of it is fucked up and shouldn’t have happened. also jfk’s song in assassians the musical goes hard

34: State visited: california

 33: Cellphone provider: verizon? apple? idfk

32: Athlete: what is sport

31: Actor: i don't watch shows or movies

30: Actress: i do not consume media

29: Singer: alex gaskarth or alexander deleon

 28: Band: fall out boy 

 27: Clothing store: hot topic (i will not apologize)

 26: Grocery store: okay harris teeter fucks but lidil’s has aloe vera juice and target at 9 pm energy so idk man 

25: TV show: supernatural...

24: Movie: big hero 6

 23: Website: tumblr or youtube

 22: Animal: snow leopard 

 21: Theme park: busch gardens bc roller coaster go fast

20: Holiday: christmas

19: Sport to watch: snowboarding bc its like skateboarding but on snow

18: Sport to play: anything with havy footwork (marching band is a sport)

17: Magazine: i do not condume media

16: Book: the ranger’s apprentice series as a whole makes up my all-time one favorite book

 15: Day of the week: friday bc its game day baybey

14: Beach: cocoa beach in florida but also i have so much left to experience 

13: Concert attended: i havent been to any notable gigs but i was supposed to go to hella mega

 12: Thing to cook: pancakes

11: Food: pizza or shushi

 10: Restaurant: chiplote

 9: Radio station: i like my local rock station and my local edm/top 40 station

8: Yankee candle scent: anything smoky or vanilla idc

7: Perfume: chanel no. 5 if i even wear it

6: Flower: Hydrangea

5: Color: orange

 4: Talk show host: cecil palmer

 3: Comedian: john maulaney

 2: Dog breed: yes

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? ;)

That was a trip. But it was fun, please do things like this more often. Also, I don’t consume media by choice. I’m not sheltered I just can’t be bothered, and I have enough going on. That being said I will now be sleeping. Thanks again, Anon, I hope you have fun reading this :D

[firebirdsdaughter]

Okay…

@briansastro10​

… I think we have a bit of a language barrier here, or something, and I’m afraid I don’t quite follow. If you don’t mind bearing w/ me, I get confused easily, but I do have things I want to say:

1) Horobi had no choice but to follow the Ark. He was hacked, aka mind controlled and brainwashed. He wasn’t ‘choosing’ to do any of that stuff, he was merely being used as a tool.

2) I don’t recall Horobi ever finding out Aruto was even at Daybreak, let alone lost family in it.

3) The thing I was criticising was the show’s decision to include a flashback of Soreo’s death in that sequence, bc it implies that the show and therefore the audience consider/should consider Horobi responsible for Soreo’s death, when not too long ago, they had Aruto shouting at Gai that he was the true cause of the Ark, and, again, the above brainwashing. Horobi was literally not in control of his own actions anymore than a MaGear at that point, it’s not right to let Jin, Naki, and even Raiden off the hook for the stuff they did under the Ark/Gai’s command and then blame Horobi for what he did. Jin was distributing ZetsumeRisers, Raiden was a spy, and Naki was manipulating everything and giving out RaidRisers, all by an external command, bc of manipulation (in the case of Jin and Naki) or hacking (in Raiden’s case). It’s really not right to recognise Yua’s, a full matured human adult who exhibited reasoning and at least reasonable emotional control and knowledge of morality, situation, to excuse her as having been manipulated and mistreated into doing the things she did, whilst blaming Horobi. Including Soreo’s death in that flashback implies that it should be considered equitable w/ Izu’s death, which it was not. Horobi did not kill Soreo, or even cause his death. For one thing, the explosion was caused by people trying to kill the Ark (another Soreo?) and, again, Horobi was brainwashed and not in control of his actions.

4) I will also repeat this as many times as necessary: Horobi was conditioned and used by the Ark. Again, to bring up Yua; she very nearly killed Izu in cold blood on Gai’s orders while Izu was panicked and confused and trying to run away. The only reason that did not happen was that Gai said the wrong thing and Fuwa snapped out of it in time. Here, Izu was completely calm, had plenty of time to dodge, clearly saw the threat, and did nothing. I bring this up bc both Horobi and Yua were in abusive, manipulative situations where they were controlled by someone else—the difference being, Yua was, again, a fully fledged human adult w/ a developed sense of right and wrong, enough that she knew what she was doing was wrong, but her situation had convinced her she had no choice. She was unwell and not in a good place. But she knew. Horobi literally couldn’t. On top of that, he was exposed solely to the Ark’s selective data (courtesy, Amatsu Gai), for years. Like he said in the AIMS basement, his understanding was that the Ark would always rise as long as human malice existed—and he didn’t turn on the Ark bc he suddenly realised humans were ‘good,’ but bc the Ark turned on HumaGear (and tried to make him kill Jin), and he realised what he wanted was peace and safety for HumaGear. But even after breaking free of the Ark, the conditioning and that belief still lasts. To him, seeking human destruction was merely the logical conclusion in order to ensure the safety of HumaGear. Humans teach HumaGear evil and give rise to the Ark, which is a danger to HumaGear, and caused him to do things that hurt HumaGear, the way his mind has been conditioned to work, the logical conclusion is to cut the knot and remove the ‘source,’ humans. It’s not a personal grudge, it’s being logical. That’s his thought process—and, honestly, he’s got a point, the Ark was created by humans, and they’ve never owned up to it, the guy responsible is walking around free, and a number of HumaGear died and suffered for it. It’s unclear when exactly the emotions start catching up to him—he was def managing to hold on to the logic, I like to think by focusing on the fact that he thought this would be best for Jin (he knew Jin was important to him, even if he didn’t know why, and he took the time to take care of him before going out). He’s very calm when talking to Izu and shows no aggression toward her, it’s not until Fuwa and Yua show up guns drawn that he reacts violently—bc he perceives a threat, sees their aggression, which counteracts Izu’s claims about the goodness of humans. All he sees is humans looking to destroy. But despite that, he still goes and asks Fuwa about proving the Ark will not rise again, and that’s another important thing; Horobi is looking for an absolute. He is looking for an absolute assurance that the Ark will not come back, that human cruelty will never be a danger again, and that’s not possible. Fuwa’s response, although it can be translated as a believable blunder on Fuwa’s part, does nothing but make the situation worse, bc he violently rejects Horobi’s question and says he’s there to destroy him and then prepares to shoot him. To Horobi, who got tortured the last time he asked a question, that’s enough. And right on the heels of that, Izu comes in and starts pressuring him about emotions. He’s stated to have been literally terrified of these sensations taking over him, and the Ark trained him react to that kind of thing w/ violence—bc he can’t attack the feelings inside himself, he system concludes Izu must be the source and fires on her… Only that doesn’t work, the sensations actually get worse. His increasing aggressiveness in insisting he doesn’t have a heart after that is basically a little kid getting more and more insistent that they didn’t steal a cookie when they did. He was conditioned to think removing Izu would remove the feelings, but instead that made it worse, harder to control, that frightens him even more, bc he doesn’t know what’s happening, he doesn’t know what those feelings are. He falls back on old answers to Jin’s questions bc he doesn’t know the answer (but we can’t let the son know that, father’s always have to have an answer). Meanwhile, he doesn’t understand why Aruto’s the Ark. Like, he def expected humans to resist, why wouldn’t they, I don’t think he’d’ve been surprised by Aruto being mad, Aruto’s been mad at him before for people he knew less. I think it was Aruto going as far as using the Ark’s power (also, I think the Ark still terrified him) that threw him for a loop and pissed him off (something he might’ve understood? But it had def never controlled him like that before). Additionally, I don’t think he could have conceived to seek revenge on his own—when Jin died, he was clearly overwhelmed and very dazed. It took Azu showing up and telling him how he felt for him to react. A friend put it really well, so I’ll paraphrase: Azu’s role for Aruto was ‘you are absolutely right to want revenge on Horobi!’ while her role for Horobi was ‘hey, hey, you want revenge on Aruto, right?’ Aruto jumped at the chance while Horobi didn’t know what to do, and ended up following the first lead he had—which was literally how the Ark kept him so easy to manipulate. I still don’t see the Aruto side of it (well… it’s complicated), but if you go back and look, I think you can def see how the Ark was conditioning Horobi as a patsy for this from the start.

4) Bc I refuse to ever let this go unsaid when discussing it, Horobi was not the only person responsible for the Izu situation. If I were to list the people I hold responsible, in order, it’d be: Amatsu, for creating the Ark in the first place. The Ark/Azu, clearly the AI w/ the most know-how, who very deliberately manipulated the whole situation, was well aware of what Horobi’s mental state would be like, and manipulated both Jin and Izu into being stupid. Fuwa and Yua for escalating things, esp bc Fuwa’s character development was allegedly about learning not to rush in swinging and literally the next episode Yua is giving a speech to Williamson about how they shouldn’t respond to the HumaGear’s ‘new hearts’ w/ aggression, like she didn’t do that exact thing, like, yesterday, wtf. Aruto, for hanging around outside instead of doing what one might expect from someone who wanted to resolve stuff peacefully and going to the root of the situation, and for not keeping an eye on Izu (I have other opinions about his behaviour there, but those are for another time), and for apparently not even bothering to try and give Izu a backup. And, finally, Horobi and Izu. Yes, I hold Horobi the least ‘responsible’ and I hold Izu responsible. Bc, and I do not mean this as an insult to any of the characters, it’s like taking a dog that was abused and used in dog fights and leaving it alone w/ a domesticated dog it doesn’t know. More than likely, if the domesticated dog starts trying to play like it’s used to playing the abused dog is going to react aggressively, possibly even bite. Neither Horobi nor Izu had the emotional maturity to handle that situation. He had been conditioned to fear and reject emotion, had been kept away from it, and therefore had no control over it, nor knew what it was—to him, it felt like some unidentifiable ‘sensation’ wrenching control away from him, clouding his mind; additionally, he’d just had his one attempt to reach out and understand violently shut down, and he’d been conditioned for years to respond to uncertainty and confusion by destroying the source—when Izu was prodding at him about feelings and ‘hearts,’ she pushed his already fragile state into full panic that he lacked the emotional maturity to handle, and he reacted the only way he knew how. W/ Izu, if she had just told Aruto, or anyone, anything about where she was going, tried to coordinate rather than just running off like that, if she hadn’t rushed him and repeatedly pressured and prodded him, if she had dodged, then things would have gone differently—but, ultimately, her data was just as biased as Horobi was, and she had absolutely no way to understand or work through what was going on for him. Horobi didn’t seek out Izu and kill her in cold blood, she approached him, and made a conscious choice not to dodge. If we want to get really deep, I also blame Korenosuke bc Izu not having a backup is stupid, it protected literally nothing, if they had actually tried to back her up and there was a reason why they couldn’t, I’d be less judgemental, but wtf the Zero-One equipment got hijacked up the wazoo and it’s very uncomfortable that Izu was just cool w/ that bc it ‘benefited humans’ and it made Aruto look kinda hypocritical… But that’s more the writers. But, to try and sum this up… I do give Horobi some responsibility, bc he yeah, he did pull the trigger, but the fact was, he didn’t understand what he was doing (also likely didn’t know Izu had no backup, it probably never occurred to him humans would do that), or why. Essentially, he was still being used as a weapon by the Ark, who manipulated the whole thing bu showing Izu that vision, making her rush in and not tell anyone, then the humans abandon their reasoning for an day and go in all aggressive, Horobi sees this as a threat, but even then still tries to reach out only to get shot down (literally), and then Izu comes in and stresses him out further and he cracks. And she chooses to stand there and take the hit. Gai knowingly shutdown multitudes of HumaGear w/ the intention of them never coming back online, Yua nearly killed Izu before, actively hunting her down, Fuwa, I love him dearly, but Fuwa was down to smash every single robot he saw no matter what they said. These were human adults w/ knowledge of morality and emotional maturity and control (okay, Fuwa’s a little debatable…). All of them, esp Gai, are walking around just fine. Like. Gai. Gai. Aruto goes Ark on Horobi for this but is letting Gai walk???? I don’t even like Aruto, and that’s ooc! But to try and sum up my sum up: Horobi was the gun Azu shot Izu w/. It was a gambit. She deliberately manipulated them all into a situation where this would happen. Yes, Horobi pulled the trigger, but if this were court, a plea of insanity could be made/he’d be being sent to a psychiatric ward rather than regular prison.

5) Horobi blaming himself is one thing. It was very clearly depicted before that he had no sense of free will for himself, he only knew the Ark’s will. It is absolutely natural that after being so deep under the Ark’s control for so long, he’d have immense trouble differentiating between his own, new will, and the Ark’s. He might not be able to tell what he wanted or what the Ark wanted. He genuinely does not know how to make that distinction. He also has literally only just kind of gotten a grasp on consequences and cause and effect. I’d love to think he’ll be allowed to figure out he was manipulated by the Ark and that things like that weren’t things he wanted to do, but I dunno if the show will give me that. What I’m criticising is the apparent intent of saying that the audience should blame him for those things. What I want is confirmation that Aruto knows that the situation was manipulated, that Horobi wasn’t ‘in control’ when that happened. I wanted Aruto to respond to Horobi blaming himself for Izu and Jin’s deaths w/ ‘it’s more complicated than that.’ Horobi blaming himself is understandable, bc he’s barely figured out cause and effect, regret, anger, that shooting things is not an appropriate way to handle a situation. He’s only just gotten a few emotions. Nuance is going to be lost on him for a bit. He’s been trapped seeing only in black and white for so long, he’s going to need help seeing grey. Horobi blaming himself makes sense. I’m just criticising that the humans, who should know that it wasn’t as simple as that, didn’t let him know tha t he didn’t need to shoulder all the blame. Bc he was just a single part of a whole chain of events, not the sole cause. And I’m criticising that the show seemed to be implying that he also had a responsibility for Soreo’s death, which was a completely different situation that he def was not responsible for.

This is likely way more than you were expecting, and I do talk a lot, I know. I just wanted to try and establish my reasoning here. I hope I wasn’t too incomprehensible, I have trouble articulating my thoughts outside of fictional writing. I think I’ve just been keeping a lot of this in.

I should say that if you are bothered by my stance on this, I would recommend blocking me or my Zero-One tags, bc I am stubborn as all hell and will not budge, and will occasionally be very vocal. Horobi is very important to me, and I have no sympathy for victim blaming, esp not when it involves literal perpetrators getting away scot free (*cough cough* Amatsu Gai *cough cough*).

[homosociallyyours]

OK so I saw this post (about the woman who kissed a stranger in front of the Eiffel tower and other places) and really REALLY needed to write up a rom-com plot for it. At first I thought I was going to actually make a heterosexual romance happen, but it became immediately clear that I am fully incapable of that. This is long, but if you love romantic comedies I think it’s a fucking delight. 

If someone out there makes movies and wants to make this, lmk. I’ll say yes. 

So we start out in flashback with the woman waiting at the airport with her group of friends. They’re headed on a trip to Europe to celebrate graduation, and they’re all talking about what a great time they’re going to have but they’ll miss their boyfriends etc, except for one girl who’s like “Well I don’t have anyone to miss, so :P” and her friends are like OK FINE, we dare you to find a guy to kiss you every city we visit in Europe. She sort of shrugs bc that’s not really so interesting, but then one of her friends offers that she should find a guy to kiss her in front of a bunch of famous places, super romantically, while her friends take a picture. She’s in. 

We zoom through the trip with the focus on her taking on this dare. She immediately has a lot of success in asking, and it definitely makes her bolder. She shares her first kiss with someone with Big Ben in the background. Then Stonehenge. The Eiffel Tower. etc etc. They’re back on the plane and she’s looking at photos on her friend’s camera. Her friend is next to her and remarks that she can’t believe the girl actually went through with all those kisses from strangers. She asks if the girl is glad it’s over, says something like, “I just bet when we get home you’ll find Mr. Right.” The girl gets a far off look in her eyes, says, “maybe so.” 

Jump forward to present day with a X number of years later, probably 13 years bc 35 is that kind of age, but honestly more would be better. The scene is a wedding, and a woman who looks a lot like the girl is standing at an outdoor altar with candles all around and a flower arch. It’s dusk. She’s being asked if she takes this man when someone yells “FIRE” and the flower arch is burning and there’s screaming and you can hear the sirens of the firetrucks off in the distance. They put the fire out, and we see an older woman (who’s actually our girl) approach one of them. Her friend stands behind her with her camera ready. She taps a fire fighter on the shoulder and asks if he’ll kiss her through the window of the fire truck. He looks bashful and first but accepts, and the friend gets the picture. The woman who’s getting married sees it and storms over and is like, “Cousin protag, if you staged a fire so you could get one of your stupid kisses I’m going to jail for murder on my wedding day and I won’t even care.” (She did NOT stage it, but she takes her opportunities when they come)

So this woman comes over and is like...excuse me, what the fuck was she talking about? I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but she was yelling and accusing you of setting her wedding on fire and you didn’t think that was weird. So they + her friend leave the wedding and go to a diner where they sit in their fancy dresses and talk about the project that’s defined this woman’s life. She’s kissed hundreds of guys now. Her friend still documents most of them, but she’s had stand ins over the years. The new woman is scrolling through all these pictures and is like, where are all these guys now? What are they doing? Do you talk to them? Do you ever think about them? 

And the protag kind of shrugs, bc...no? Not really? But her friend is like, “you would think she’d have found The One, right? After kissing all these guys? But it’s just-- kiss, NOTHING, kiss, NOTHING.” And she’s clearly sad about it, she really wanted her friend to have a magical moment where she kissed a stranger and fell right in love. But the new woman is like, that’s not how love really works though, it takes time, getting to know someone, etc. And what if one of them is thinking of you? 

They get to talking more and the new woman is an editor (or reality tv producer?) and she thinks this could be a great book, especially if they can use social media to launch it. She’s very convincing and the protag decides to go along. 

So they’re working together-- the friend is helping too --posting the photos one by one and tagging them and getting them noticed. It actually doesn’t take long before the story kind of blows up, and that’s when she gets the first message from one of her kisses. The editor is like, “this is our angle--you meet them again, all of them at once. At a big party like an old romantic royal ball. And you talk with them and then get to know them and maybe you really do find someone you’re excited about.” 

She starts getting more responses, enough that someone actually has to help her go through everything. Some people are just trying to get famous, since this is taking off media-wise. She finds that she can often recognize them even if they only did share one kiss years ago. There’s something comforting about it, like maybe she WILL fall for one of them if they meant enough for her to remember them. But as the number of guys found grows, she gets less and less hopeful. If anything, she’s filled with dread. She liked collecting their kisses like souvenirs more than she liked the idea of falling for one of them. 

She has a heart to heart with her friend where she kind of laments not feeling anything, and the friend asks her how the kisses compared with guys she’s kissed while dating, and she confesses that it’s the same level of heat, the same non-spark. She liked those guys as people, and she doesn’t regret any of her relationships, but there’s not really anything huge that she feels. Her friend has a lot of sympathy but not a ton of empathy; she’s never been in this kind of situation. She asks if protag was attracted to any of the guys, like physically, and protag says “they were all really attractive,” like she’s stating a fact. Because they were conventionally handsome and she’s conventionally pretty and that’s what works, right? Her friend gives a sort of half-hearted yeah, because...not really? But she doesn’t know how to put it. 

Friend talks to new woman about the talk she’s just had with protag, and we see a light go on in her head. Like something is clicking into place. And she has a hunch about it but she can’t really spill it to friend. She drives to protag’s house and they go sit on the couch and protag is confused about why new woman is there and looking kind of upset. They’re good friends now and it worries her. Protag doesn’t expect it when the woman asks her if she’s ever kissed a woman. She says no, then as she’s asking why the woman asks if they could kiss. Just to see something. And protag has never been asked if she wants to be kissed, let alone by another woman-- that just doesn’t happen to her. 

They kiss and it’s immediately clear that there’s something different about it for protag. Her body language shifts; she’s somehow less comfortable with this kiss and more at home with it. When they break the kiss she looks dazed, opening her eyes (she usually keeps them open? but they just closed on their own this time) and staring back at the woman who kissed her, looking at her lips, thinking about doing it again but surprised that she’s thinking it. The woman asks her how it was. “Different.” Asks her if she wants to do it again. “Definitely.” Protag initiates it this time. 

So the next day protag is freaking out big time. Because maybe she’s gay? Apparently? She’s always thought other women just exaggerated their feelings for their boyfriends. But it turns out no, they were being real. And she’s just never felt that before. She’s kinda worried it’s all tied up with this new woman, though, so she calls her friend and convinces her to go along to a gay bar that night. She’s never had trouble finding someone to kiss in any other circumstance; she figures she’ll just kiss a few women and make sure this isn’t a fluke. 

The gay bar is 1) mostly gay men and 2) nothing like her vacation experiences. She tries walking up to the first woman she sees and gets a dirty look followed by “I’m with my girlfriend.” It takes her several tries before she finds someone to kiss, and when she does she finds that she does like it more, but not as much as she liked her kiss the previous night. Her friend takes a picture anyway (since that’s what she always does) and the woman protag has just kissed gets upset and offended, accusing protag of being a straight woman kissing a lesbian for attention. 

Protag leaves with friend and drops her off, friend apologizing a lot. Protag drives to editor’s house and knocks on her door and when she opens it she just asks “Can I?” and editor nods and they’re kissing and it’s a lot but it’s exciting, she’s totally wrapped up in it. Editor slows her down, tries to say she wasn’t trying to start something with the kiss. Protag is hurt and feels rejected. She leaves without hearing anything else. Decides to try to avoid editor as much as possible and go on with the stupid fancy party with all the men she’s kissed. Maybe she was wrong anyway. Maybe she just needs to try harder. 

Editor knows she fucked up and calls the friend to tell her everything. Friend realizes that Protag was trying to see if she was into the editor and says she has a plan. They’re gonna make this work.

So it’s the party and the whole thing is gorgeous. The place is set up with photo areas that look like famous locations that you can kiss in front of. Plus everyone who’s single is wearing a kissy lip pin on their outfit so you know they would like to be kissed. The protag looks great but she’s also kind of grim, just there to get it done. She gets to the party and everyone cheers, she’s going to give a toast later and talk about a release date for her book etc etc, but first she’s supposed to mingle and do some kisses. A few men come up to her right away. She remembers most of them, and it’s weird seeing them but kind of fun too? She didn’t think they’d ever really meet again. 

She sees one of her first kisses and he’s really excited and asks if they can kiss again, says he’s always wondered if she was “the one who got away” and she feels excited about it, like maybe it’s fate and this is it and he’s the one. They go to the spot that looks like where they kissed and just go for it. It’s everything a good kiss should be, by looks. When they break apart, the guy has this hopeful look in his eye and Protag justs puts her hand on his shoulder and thanks him and shakes her head very gently before walking off. Because he did feel something and she didn’t. 

Protag isn’t thinking about where she’s going, just walking away, when a hand on her shoulder stops her. She turns and there’s the editor, looking amazing and smiling at her and she’s confused for a half second before the editor takes her hand and leads her over to one of the kiss areas. The friend is waiting with the camera. Editor leans in and kisses Protag and it’s fireworks all over again. Such a good kiss. When they pull apart Protag looks in Editor’s eyes and waits for confirmation that this is what they really both want. Editor moves both of them slowly into the next backdrop. “I want to be one who kisses you in front of monuments. I want to replace every photo you have with one of us kissing if we can. Can we?” Protag says yes and everyone cheers because it’s really sweet and beautiful!! Friend snaps pictures. 

This time when we flash forward to a wedding, it’s for the Protag and Editor. They’re standing in front of (dramatic monument) as they say I do. 

Author’s note: the more I think about it the more I realize the editor should be a producer (maybe) who wants the protag to do a reality show. Or basically just something else (literary agent? promoter? IDK)

[jongdality]

me thinkin' about how i've grown up with exo and watched as they lived and learned and developed as professionals and humans, overcoming the struggles of a poor debut concept and scandal after scandal with their tenacity and love for each other

Then thinkin' about how Kyungsoo, a somewhat aloof, awkward and weird boy who decided to be bold and try out for SM after old people at karaoke competitions told him to and he made 8 brothers for life who love him dearly and support him and his antics and his acting career and call him cute no matter how much he says he isn't good at anything and that he's boring and Manly and how he has starred in a full-ass movie and is partially credited as breaking the "idol-actor" stereotype and writes love songs with chanyeol on the DL that chanyeol reveals on his lives and wrote the lyrics to a lovely, comforting song for us before leaving to join the military so he can become an even bigger star in multiple films once he gets out

Then thinkin' about how bbh, an outgoing boy who flicked lights on and off to make his friends giggle, met a friend for life, kjd, on the very same day they both were to audition to get into a group that was about to debut, how he worked hard to break down barriers in the group and became the moodmaker, and how people thought he was bad at dancing because he hadn't had time to train but actually every solo dance he's been given he's slayed to the point that he became the CENTER FOR CBX, how he worked hard to learn piano in a very short amount of time to play The Answer for his EXO-Ls, how even after an early scandal in which is privacy was invaded he still looks at us with such love and protection and is NOW an amazing solo artist who texts the exo group chat saying he misses them so much

Then thinkin' about Suho. Kim frickin' Joonmyeon. The underdog of the entire group. Born rich, charismatic and well-educated, could have been ANYTHING but CHOSE to train for SEVEN YEARS due to his love of music. You guys. When Baek and another member got into trouble for cussing while playing video games sometime in 2012-2013 and a sasaeng threatened to reveal the voice clips of them cussing purportedly to apink members, joonmyeon texted her personally, so cold, so professional, "are you blackmailing us? If you release the clip you won't be forgiven" big fuckin dad energy, worked so hard on his singing and dancing yet still asks not to be given too many lines or placed center too often, gives up his seats for his members ALWAYS, accepted their first awards show win alone stoic and professional as the boys broke down in the back room after the news of kris leaving broke, now has multiple solo songs and acts and is literally set to be higher-level management at SM due to all his hard work, definitely puts out that goofy mom energy but is actually extremely intelligent, protective and the go-to guy for all the members and this para has no point i just think kim joonmyun deserves everything

Remembering that chanyeol has a famous sister and is a multitalented instrumentalist that didn't actually need to become an idol, but he did because he wanted "brothers", how he skyrocketed an entire foot from debut til now, how he's all teeth and ears and big anime eyes and legs and he's confident and happy after years of struggling w his weight and self-image, makin music and writing lyrics and modeling for tommy hilfiger and riding scooters in paris and despite the fact that he can't dance he tries, despite the fact that he didn't audition to be a rapper he became one of korea's best, how he turns into a little kid every time he's around any small animal and just tries to cuddle and feed it as he coos in his Low Man Voice, his tough raps but then his soft exo station song SSFW, and now exo-sc with his bestie and ACTING!!!

Thinkin' about Xiumin. Xiumin who came in as a vocalist and ended up being one of the best dancers in the group (even tho he hits the highest notes!!!). Xiumin who is the oldest and wisest but is still willing to throw that ass back to havana to make cbx laugh. Xiumin who is korea's pick, who kids and ahjummas alike fall for. Xiumin who is beautiful and quiet and humble and supports his brothers from the sidelines, who is so loving and caring, who released an adorable solo that matches him so well and is now winning fckn awards in military training for being so goddamn amazing. Xiumin who attends TVXQ concerts and supports all of his fellow celebrities. Mark's dad. Amazing man. Says he has no friends outside of exo but literally everyone loves him. Dedicated his formative years to the group even when he wasn't spotlighted like he deserves to be and-

Lay. That's it. That's the paragraph. He came in not speaking Korean and is now one of the top-grossing musicians in all of China. Breaking barriers. Learning languages in a matter of months. Solo albums out the wazoo that he composed. Coming back to wish Kyungsoo goodbye even though he hasn't been on a stage with them in years. Didn't leave, although I'm sure he was mistreated just as much as the members who did. All of exo loves him so fucking much.

Kai. Kai who could have been a professional ballet dancer, could have been a full-time model, debuts as the SCREAMO BOY in mama. Gets made fun of for his skin complexion. Is shy and embarrassed for the first 2 or 3 years of exo interviews, and is still pretty shy and introverted. But boy became the fucking IDOL'S IDOL. FANCAMS GOING VIRAL LEFT AND RIGHT. SUSTAINING INJURIES, CRYING WHEN HE MESSES UP AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DANCE ROUTINE TO "I SEE YOU". Is such a perfectionist to the point of pushing himself into constant injury, and besides that has had his personal life broadcasted all over the news MULTIPLE times even though he's so shy and withdrawn irl. People cry to meet him, now. Front and center of every exo dance. A dancing god and the reason half of NCT auditioned. I cannot emphasize how proud I am of Kai, who is only a few months older than sehun yet has had to grow up so fast as the face of the group. Solo during the olympics with plantar fasciitis. Model who stuns at every Gucci show in new and experimental designs.

Sehun. Oh fuckin' Sehun. Ran away from recruiters because his mom told him not to talk to strangers, and now he's modelling for every major fashion campaign, is on the cover of vogue, has his dream dog and certifiably has the biggest dick of all exo members. Became a main dancer through hard work and practice even though nobody ever talks about how hard osh works bc he's sort of overshadowed by kai. Insecure about his singing voice but makes crowds go wild every time he even croons out one beautiful, dulcet line. Babied by junmyeon, kissed and coddled by all the exo members, still has Big Baby Energy but is debuting in a group with his fellow chaotic neutral yeol and looking all sexy with his swooped back hair and his 0 follows on insta. Sings in We Young and raps his little heart out. His solo during concerts still shake my very uterus and im pretty sure he's gay. That's how powerful ohs is, and he can only go up from here.

And finally my baby boy kim jongdae. Chanyeol once said Jongdae is so nice that he comes off as stupid and that is absolutely positively true. Boy is the manifestation of the john mulaney quote "you could pour soup on my lap and id apologize to you". Is a ray of fucking sunshine whose only goal as he was singing in that video from high school was to "become a singer". It's his passion. It's the reason he LIVES. He prays to jesus before every concert but worships music. One of THE best vocalists in the game with the cleanest and most controlled voice, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings while walking to pet some deer, sings because he loves it and now he's a soloist with his own album out and another in the works, and not only that, he dances his feet on fire in CBX and exo routines and remains steady to hit those high notes. Duets abound because everyone loves him. Will tell a bitch to back off when talking about his private life bc he's probably a husband with 6 happy, healthy children at home. Started out as the nervous boy chasing a dream on that fateful day with bbh and became the nation's pick, sings CONSTANTLY, yet is still so humble he opens up a yt channel just to cover other artists' songs. MCs for Baekhyun's solo and shows up to all his performances to monitor. Heart of gold. Smiles when he's hurting. Deserves this solo career and deserves the happiest life this world can provide him.

Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for these men, how proud I am and how much I just want them to know that we know how hard they've worked to get as far as they have. Compare them to any other group, even other SM groups, and it's clear that their passion, drive, skill and professionalism is unrivaled. They are all born artists and musicians down to their core, and with that, they're all kind, sweet people who are who they are because they debuted as 18, 19, 20, etc year old men 7 years ago and have grown up together, suffered together, celebrated together and loved together. They've switched up sounds, concepts, gone experimental, have created some of the most beautiful ballads and harmonies music has ever seen, and they strive for nothing but the best. ALWAYS. They have never disappointed me, and they never fail to inspire me every time they show the fruits of all their labor (as well as multiple creative people and teams that come together to create EXO) onstage as one.

Exo we are one, saranghaja.

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 2 episode 11

"THE TOKRA"

Notes by me

- part 1

- PREVIOUSLY - Sam swallowed a goauld and it told her there are nice worms out there, and then it died to save her (rip to a real one), Jacob Blunt As Fuck Carter told Sam he had cancer and now hes like.....dying

- anyway

- LMAO random character generator spat out chris argent from teen wolf

- did she have a memory of the tokra? That lady looked just like her tho

- not me dancing to the theme

- jack: how do u know the tokra are nice

Sam: my ✨feelings✨

- lol thats enough for Jack I guess

- is her dad's cancer worse

- "this is the first time ive gone on a mission where I feel like im leaving something behind" 😞

- Sam thinking her dad doesnt want her around and hammond assuring her shes wrong I'm WEEPING

- "youre more like your father than youd like to admit" if someone told me this my face would retract like I just ate a lemon

-

- I swear to god im gonna start counting all the wizard of oz references that Jack makes so far its been 853 per episode

- are the tokra gonna be mean to tealc when they find them

- wait its chris argent dont shoot

- see I was right! Leave tealc alone 2k20

- "we are not goauld" ???? But you are?? Unless the name "goauld" isnt a species name but a certain group name? And the tokra are just a different group? But then whats their species called

- ah shit is sams dad gonna die while shes gone I dont think I can handle that

- Martouf haha u got a dumb name

- alright martouf didnt have to flex his pretty eyes at me but he sure as hell did

- 3 against 1 Jack looks like your giving up your guns

- he does NOT trust them

- "my memories of martouf are the strongest. Its like I have some weird bond with him" OH????? MY RELATIONSHIP RADAR IS PINGING

- "some little runt" best name for cancer ive heard so far

- is this all a ruse to find out what Sam does for a living!!! ......although I could be wrong since I dont know anyway to fake liver cancer

- the leader of the tokra is the most hunted goauld of all time BRUH

- tokra means against Ra? I thought it meant resistance or something

- Martouf.....i will admit. attractive. I take back what I said about having a dumb name I'm not who I was 3 minutes ago

- I thought for a sec that the male host for jolinar was who martouf was concerned for when he heard the "host died" but then I remembered that jolinar had a female host first. I had a fleeting moment of gay Chris Argent :\

- oh shit Jacob is literally like RIGHT at deaths door

- no glasses! Daniel in this scene

- a symbiotic relationship!! Thats really cool actually

- Daniel respectfully taking his hat off for the dying tokra is cute and all but......monkey brain see it hang off his neck like choker necklace

- "we dont use the sarcophagus. We believe it drains the good from our hearts"

"I can vouch for that"

- alright dudes that was not a very subtle way to ask if they want to have a little worm friend in their heads

- ah of course they dont think earth is advanced enough to have an alliance with. Hows the air from up on your fuckin high horse

- martouf: would you like to accompany me on an evening stroll, Sam?

Jack:

- "I want her back by 11 o clock" I thought we were done with this shit. Shes literally an high ranking air force officer. Pls treat her like an adult @writers

- THE TOKRA DONT HAVE A GENDER❤❤ this is actually really cool for a show from 1997

- martouf is bi I dont make the rules

- lantash taking over bc martouf too sad to keep talking 😩😩❤❤❤ I love them

- Sam being surprised that jolinar and martouf were lovers in the night. Like honey.....it was kinda obvious

- martouf describing Rosha 😭😭❤❤

- I cant imagine having memories of someone elses life. Sam is going thru some shit

- I love martouf with all my heart

- JOLINARS LOVE FOR MARTOUF WAS SO STRONG IT LEFT AN IMPRINT ON SAMS MIND

- martouf🤝Sam

- interrupting!Daniel strikes again

- AWKWARD

- Jack sneak 100. Is he gonna use the bathroom excuse again

- "no need for doors or partitions" didnt martouf just say he and jolinar were mates. How do u do the hokie pokie with no doors. What if someone walks in and ur ass out with your worm boyfriend in a cave

- Daniel rubbing his hands on everything. Im surprised he didnt lick the table

- tokra: the goauld hate us

jack: well its not a competition but they hate us more

- whats up sg3!

- hammond knowing Sam would want to be with her dad when he dies :'(

- ALRIGHT the tokra are huge assholes!! Wont even let her see her dad while hes literally dying!! I hate them all except for martouf. I just think hes neat

- to be continued -

~

Sam carter whump: emotional

No glasses!Daniel for a few minutes

🎶listening to Such A Simple Thing by Ray LaMontagne 🎶 for martouf and sams little stroll on the dune

[flvshlights]

courtney eaton. 24. genderfluid. they & them. the front bottoms. | i can’t believe i just saw LUCINDA “LUKE” ARCHULETTA walking out of cadence records. they’re the GUITAR & LEAD VOCAL from the INDIE ROCK group WE TRIED USING A BAND NAME GENERATOR who have been in the industry for SIX YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their ALOOF nature , but they’re also pretty HONEST and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of TYING FLANNELS AROUND YOUR WAIST, NEVER BEING WARM ENOUGH, PLAYING AN ACOUSTIC GUITAR IN A SHARP TUXEDO, CLAIMING YOU DON’T SMOKE MARIJUANA WHEN YOU DO, THE COMFORT AT THE BOTTOM OF A SWIMMING POOL. 

                                     she started talking backwards , but nothing                                      good it brings her. so the next time that she                                      sees him, it’ll be peace sign + middle finger.                                      to listen as you read.

listen i always say i’ll stick with one muse and that never happens so i’ll just skip the part here where i berate myself for being weAK and instead introduce u to lukey-pookie here !! they’re a very new muse ( while also combining some essences of other muses of mine ) since normally i pick from a premade roster of my own ocs and normally use courtney for a... very different character but 1.) i’m gay and 2.) i love the front bottoms so HERE WE GO !

tws : depression, divorce, arrest, drug usage / overdose

HISTORY

So Luke was born to a regular working class family in Wilmington, Delaware - they have some relation with the famous DuPont family that built their name there, but don’t have anything to show for it since a few generations ago Luke’s great grandmother cut off the rest of her family and now they don’t speak. So Archuletta it is.

Their mom worked a typical 9-5 job and their dad was an aspiring painter - but he was always... sick. Not sick in the physical sense, no - sick in the fact he never was himself. Sick in way that Luke always thought he was so tired and sad and nothing could ever cheer him up, and they rarely spent much time with him due to his tendencies to keep to himself. So that led to an early divorce between him and Luke’s mother when they were about six years old.

So Luke’s life was relatively normal. Maybe even too normal for them. And they’d try and put themselves out there - even joining musical theatre in attempts to try and find “their group.” Musical theatre was where they’d meet Krista.

A beautiful girl who had a passion for Broadway, booze, and marijuana - she’d become Luke’s greatest friend, and even taking Luke to meet their friends she hung out with regularly after class. But they weren’t the kids you’d want to bring home to hang out with in your parents’ house. No, in fact - they were the opposite.

Bad things, those friends did - well - bad ( or rather, illegal ) things, and Luke followed along. Such as smoking pot and getting caught for it, spraypainting and defiling public areas, maybe getting into a fight or two. In an effort to fit in, Luke would do the same - but they faced the consequences they’d never thought - considering those kids seemed invincible. Untouchable. 

Setting off fireworks from the roof of an abandoned building it a bad idea. Getting arrested the cops is an even worse idea. Your friends running off before they can get caught, leaving you alone to wait for your mom to pick you up... The worst idea.

Nobody came to check on them after that.

Not even Krista.

But the next day, Luke hung out with them like nothing was wrong, following that crowd still - and it’d only reach a breaking point when they were sixteen and had to call the ambulance since Luke found Krista in the bathroom of a party unconscious due to overdose. And thank god she survived - 

And there they were again, without many friends since Krista was seemingly the only person who even came close to genuinely liking them and everyone else, they barely knew anything about. And Luke would grow, finishing high school and clinging to the only other friend they had since childhood - being convinced to write out their issues since by NOW, Luke maybe turned out a bit more cynical than they used to be.

Writings of prose and poetry turned to translating that to music - and that would be the beginning of their new life: We Tried Using A Band Name Generator.

ABOUT ‘WE TRIED’: 

‘We Tried Using A Band Name Generator’ - or more conveniently just referred to as ‘We Tried’ is probably Luke’s pride and joy. It was their friend’s idea for them to originally write out how they felt - and they mutually came up with the decision to try and write songs out of that.

A small band from Wilmington didn’t seem like it was going to get notice, and it took a little while, sure - it started with an EP titled Slow Dance to Soft Rock ( 2013 ) that made Cadence turn their way. Since the indie community definitely liked the acoustic sounds paired with raw, blunt, honest emotions pushed out in songs like The Beers and Swimming Pool. And that was when they got signed.

The first album they’d release would be six months later - self-tilted, We Tried Using A Band Name Generator. They didn’t have too much of a following at the time, but they were making good momentum enough to convince them to keep going.

Things were going so well, in fact, that during touring, Luke & their best friend / drummer actually attempted dating since - there had to be a reason they worked so well together. There had to be SOME feelings. But a million arguments later and stressful tours, overall mentally testing experiences, pushing out an EP called Rose which was as amazing as it was tacing to complete... they couldn’t do it. It was thought that when their best friend left the group in early 2016, it was thought that everyone’s new favorite indie rock group was done for.

And... Luke couldn’t let that happen. It was selfish, too, in the sense that We Tried was their biggest method of release and comfort. So instead of just giving up, they got off from tour and IMMEDIATELY hit the studio for recording and song-writing.

The product of a few months of straight work would result in their 2016 album , Talon of the Hawk - all songs pulling experiences from the split between them and their drummer to their experiences with Krista in high school. 

Au Revoir/Adios was 100% written the day after their ex-drummer left. 

Another year of touring and thankfully, four more members joined the group - producing the EP Needy When I’m Needy as a sneak peak of what was new to come. A few months later , a surprise album called Back on Top would come out. 

The next three years would work well - with the band releasing another EP titled Ann and the inklings sprinkled of the next album - Going Grey.  

SO IN CASE THAT WAS TOO COMPLEX BC I RAMBLE... again, general timeline:

February 2013: Release of Slow Dance to Soft Rock

March 2013: We Tried is signed to Cadence

August 2014: Release of Self-Titled.

September 2014: Both members of We Tried start dating.

July 2015: Release of Rose.

December 2015: Nearing the end of touring, We Tried’s drummer quits and the pair breaks up. Touring officially ends later that month.

January 2016: Luke Archuletta announces they’ll be taking time to focus on a brand new album.

August 2016: Release of the rushed but extremely well-received Talon of the Hawk.

July 2017: We Tried introduces four new members.

October 2017: Release of Needy When I’m Needy.

March 2018: Release of the surprise album Back on Top.

January 2019: Release of the EP Ann, paired with the announcement production of the next album will begin soon.

March: Two songs - Peace Sign & You Used to Say (Holy Fuck) are released to tease Going Grey.

July 2018: Release of Going Grey. 

SO YOU CAN SORT OF TELL THE TIMELINE IS SPEEDY - because that’s a big part of how Luke sort of... overworks themselves and hyperfocuses on their music. Especially since ever since their first drummer left, they haven’t let go of the idea they can only rely on themselves. 

BUT MORE ABOUT THE BAND - We Tried’s aesthetic is sort of The Front Bottoms mixed with the Young Veins - Luke’s especially fond of showing up in suits, vests, etc. despite the normally blunt & uncouth content of the songs. 

There is literally always something being made. Luke can’t sleep without having something in the works. 

And... yeah that’s it honestly it’s rly just TFB but with a TWIST! 

ABOUT LUKE 

5′10, genderfluid bisexual bby who honestly just wants a nap

SOOOO yes, Luke’s a very chill individual but chill in the sense that... they just. Don’t care. Except when it comes to their work - then they work the hardest they can on that shit and have to pay attention to every little detail.

They’re still not actually sure if they have any talent - musical theater never seemed to work out, so why is a band doing that??

But they do have one thing down pat - directing. All of We Tried’s videos have so far been directed by Luke, save for a few. 

This comes from Luke’s longtime adoration of film and cinema, from the perspective of an observer and a director.

They DO have a tendency to be a little... clingy and aloof at the same time. They’re always worried about being in the position of trying to keep a band of only one person alive again but also they don’t really notice they can other people to do things for them now.

They’re independent to a fault, in that case.

And also now finally getting a hang of not falling into peer pressure since it’s just made them cynical and aloof from people now.

They’re v grateful for their bandmates tho!! Don’t get me wrong, they love them!

Luke’s more of someone who communicates their appreciation through gestures and actions than words - setting a blanket on you while you sleep, getting new drumsticks if you broke yours, making coffee in the morning when you’ve forgotten. That kind of stuff.

They don’t get a lot of sleep for the sole reason they sort of have tendencies to keep themselves awake just... thinking. Luke thinks a lot. Luke’s actually wack-levels of intelligent, and it does show in their music save for when they’re making odd comments and obscure references.

Luke talks about tattoos a lot, but they’re actually barren since they’re afraid of needles. 

They also don’t drink, but they do smoke marijuana. But they’ll never admit to it - ...like TFB even though they have a MILLION songs that mention recreational use of the drug.

They sort of don’t really know where their purpose is, still - and that does lead them into a depression of their own, much like their father. They don’t talk to him and their mother that much nowadays - considering, the dream was always that Luke be a lawyer or a doctor and not the crass musician that they are.

They’re lowkey a fucking comedian but in the dry, deadpan humor sense. Most of their interviews consist of them making some joke that either takes a little while for the interviewer to get or one that makes the room silent for a quick minute. Or, even worse, they’re taken seriously.

Despite this aloofness, though, they actually thrive on being around other people. They’re sort of relearning how to accept that, though, since again, they’ve been shelling themselves up in their own work for quite some time. 

Also lowkey a bit of a flirt bt u didn’t hear that from me

Rides a motorcycle partially to look cool and also... bc they have the song ‘Motorcycle’ which was about them. Trying to learn how to ride a motorcycle so it just kind of stuck.

They’ve got another talent in dancing, since they took ballet classes throughout middle school to high school - but had to quit after they got arrested. Shame.

Their one dream was to be Ariel in the Broadway production of The Little Mermaid when they were younger since... they also love the sea and Disney Princesses so much secretly, but they’ve sort of given up on that.

Their love for the sea’s also because of where they’re from - Delaware beaches are beautiful and were Luke’s happy place back then. 

Most of their loves and interests are sprinkled in their songs, in that case - Delaware scenery, references of Disney films, etc.

They’re a very... complex individual. But god I lOVE them.

WCs

THE DRUMMER. PLS GIVE ME THE DRUMMER. I HAV IT ON THE MAIN... PLS GIVE ME THE OG DRUMMER THAT LEFT AND NOW HAS A SOLO CAREER OR IS IN ANOTHER BAND ELSEWHERE. PLS.

also the current bandmates. that would b. cool.

if ppl from luke’s old squad can show up now w/ their own careers... that would b. cool.

kids who they went to high school with that r surprised where they are now.

enemies in the music scene who don’t like luke or we tried for a multitude of reasons

maybe they think luke’s secretly a conceited dick underneath the ‘distant mysterious songwriter’ schtick

mayBBEEEE they think the nature of we tried’s songs are some sort of keep gimmick to try and cash in on being ‘casual’ and ‘relatable’

maybe they just don’t like the damn band i mean. yeah.

any reason. pls.

hook-ups bc i’ll b honest they are... a bit of a flirt. let luke serenade u w/ shit like “historic cemetery” cowards,

a rebound sort of?? probably very short-lived, but i can see luke wanting to get their mind off from their ex/drummer leaving and falling fast into another relationship - and that wouldn’t work out bc of it.

i’d also lov a plot where maybe sb discovers luke’s talent for dancing bc they do it for recreational purposes semi-often now?? 

maybe they can attend a class together or smth

or they just do it for fun at luke’s place

idk this cld go anywhere n it’s honestly adorable

ppl that they befriend who they can just. take back to delaware one day.

or even ppl they just hang out with to relive the ‘good ol days’

trips to the beach

buying store bought fireworks n setting them off

going on camping trips n shit

i’d lov a plot where there’s one person who just thinks luke is like... a MYSTERY and they just get closer and closer in attempts to try and figure that mystery out

also 100% open to brainstorming! i’ll actually get 2 interacting tmr bc it’s 2:30 AM nearly here n i want to sleep so yeah! chances are tho if u like this i’ll message u for plotting!! again if u want my discord - hmu @ rocky lynch lovebot / hylia.#0329. :^)

i love the front bottoms so much

[auckie]

Watching this music video just showing cuts of men picking coffee beans and sketch drawings of Moses escaping Egypt set to gentle banjo and some light vocals is reminding me of how when I was super high the other night my friend made me watch this movie called He Never Died about how Cain from the Bible was basically a vampire and I don’t know if I was just off my rocker but I remember the first ten minutes of the movie being like. Black screen and intense sounds of men screaming, fire, animal howls, chains rattling, explosions, rumbling— fade in to a man laying in bed in a dank apartment. The sounds continue but change slightly to add horses neighing and galloping, gunshots, people shouting; the man is going about his morning routine all the while, ignoring the sounds and just acting as a huge contradiction to the soundscape. This goes on for a really long time, like jarringly so, and then abruptly ends with no apparent explanation. And I was LOSING it I couldn’t stop repeating ‘it’s just noises! This is just a compilation of sound effects!! It’s not a movie!’ And I was like in tears while my friend sat in stony silence watching this shitty movie. The rest of it wasnt that good but sometimes the sounds came back and I would lose it all over again bc they were so poorly incorporated and mixed to convey like. I know what they were trying to do but it didn’t matter. I need to watch it again to see if it really was that insane but I think it was, because again— about a week or so ago I was very high at a really bad concert and the two opening acts were the worst I’d ever seen.

[[MORE]]

Like there were a lot of strange things going on at that show and I assumed I was just very faded but when I was sober the next day I sat back and reflected: my friend was voguing to horrible music no one was dancing to. The crowd was full of like ravers, bikers, parents, and gay people. A man with a fanny pack, oddly enough, who said he was from the exact place I live in rn (I was across the country at the time) walks up and starts hitting on my friend? I think? I couldn’t tell. Bare in mind my friend is done up in drag but at the show he probably looked a bit like a punk cis girl. But the guy seemed very gay. I just don’t know. He told us there was a wizard visiting a lot of the shows he’d been to around LA and California in general. This GREATLY alarmed me and so I became very alert 🚨 I told him I was very glad he informed us bc if I had seen a wizard in that state of mind without warning I would’ve booked it for sure. The performers voice kept cracking and she kept asking the crowd to dance. There was a weird amount of people in the crowd who were professional photographers, like, seven around me alone and four off stage and more in this very tiny venue. After her, the next guy gets on and starts his set. People in front of me comment that he’s drunk and then I SWEAR I see him get on all fours and snort two lines. I realize I am probably wrong so I keep this to myself, turn to see fanny pack is talking to other people and Keeps opening his pack. Figure he must be selling molly and decide I want some. Here’s around the time I decide to start drinking so I can ignore how bad the music is and just try and dance. Once I’m drunk the main act is up and he’s actually ok! Not my kinda shit but, my friend knows him and it’s his bday so ofc I’m not gonna complain. Fanny pack is back and for some reason I’m convinced he’s a cop but I remember weed is legal in LA so I take more edibles. My friend gets mad bc the guy he knows doesn’t meet up with him after the show like promised so we wander around LA confused and go to this bar covered in taxidermied animal busts and wood and leather and I see a drunk girl get in a fight with the bouncer bc she says she knows the first horrible performer we saw. Her friends seem to abandon her so I ask if she’s ok and she assured me and wanders off. We see her again like 5 times, always looking confused and talking to randos so I’m like 👀❗️❗️

Now that it’s over and I’m calmed down I rehashed all this to my friend and he’s like WHAT you’re crazy you’re high. He reminds me of the time we smoked with his sister at her wedding and we got a lyft afterwards wherein I was PARALYZED with fear and visibly sweating, silent in the car on the ride home. The driver notices and asks and I can only shake my head so my friend is like ‘uh he’s tired’. When we get out I’m like. ‘Dude. Our driver was a NAZI. Covered in Nazi tattoos and bald and also a little person? How were you talking to him?!! How were you not afraid we were about to be murdered?!’ And my friend was like— tel, our driver was a WHITE WOMAN WITH HAIR, not a little person, no tattoos, not a Nazi. Totally normal.

So that was like the one time...at least in recent history I can admit that just being high warped my perception. It has happened before. But like. I was right about the concert! The fanny pack guy wasn’t selling molly but he was weird and the music sucked so let’s see if this Cain movie is insane too. Is it obvious I’m on kratom rn bc this post is way longer than I intended it to be

[love-killed-the-superstar]

femslash february strikes again and i finally updated that one cornirma fic that ive been meaning to get back to for literally an entire year

Title: The Frying Pan Conversation Pairing: Cornelia/Irma Chapter: 2 - funny how we run around Summary: “You're awake...” “Great detective work, Sherlock, want a medal?” “It's too early in the morning for you to be sassing me,” grumbled Cornelia, half-heartedly throwing her phone onto the blankets and scooting closer to Irma. “Good thing you're way too cute for me to be sassing you with intent to kill,” Irma teased, pulling her in closer for a hug. She was overly warm from sleep and Cornelia happily melted into it. Irma's boobs made for an excellent pillow. (Cornelia and Irma spend Christmas with the Hales.)

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13743063/chapters/42144206

Cornelia loved watching Irma sleep. While she usually ran her mouth during the day, when she slept she had some sort of serenity around her, a tranquillity one wouldn't expect from someone who spent half the night tossing and turning, hogging the blankets and drooling all over her pillow. Yet, when morning came and Cornelia returned to wakefulness, Irma was at peace with herself in the land of dreams, hair framing her face like a halo. It took all restraint not to kiss her, but Cornelia had never been a fan of kissing before one had brushed their teeth.

Instead, she continued to watch. It was quiet and dim, the early morning sun casting strange light and shadows throughout the main room where they were set up. Without her family milling around, it felt peaceful. She wondered if this was how it would be all the time, if she and Irma moved in together some day. Sure, it wouldn't be some luxury cabin, but the world would be quiet like this. There would be no eyes on her. The whole room would be theirs to lie in silence and watch each other and feel cosy and secure. While Cornelia did want lavish things for herself someday, when she was older and things like throw pillows and vases mattered greatly in the grand scheme of things, it amazed her how easily she would sacrifice that just to be able to wake up next to Irma each morning and take on the day, regardless of whether they were in a plush king-sized bed or squashed together on a pull-out.

Geez. She really was picturing the rest of her life with Irma, like the hopeless romantic she was.

She rolled over to reach for her phone in the semi-dark. Too early to start messaging the group chat, but she hedged her bets with someone who did have a tendency to be up at this hour.

Will, you awake?

Not three minutes later, she received a reply.

ofc?? no rest for an athlete, corny. how did telling the parents go?

It didn't. Turns out I'm a bit of a coward.

nah it's tough. i only told my mom about being genderfluid a month ago, and i had no idea if she'd even CARE about it

Well, she cares about YOU. And from what you've told me, she's taken it well?

The speech bubble indicating a reply stayed for a while, and Cornelia repositioned herself so that she could watch Irma doze while waiting on Will to get back to her. After a few minutes, her phone finally pinged, and she hastily lowered the volume as Irma stirred slightly.

yeah, turns out dean being our teacher way back in the day finally paid off bc sheffield has diversity training or smth. he sat down w me and my mom and talked over all this stuff she was confused about. and she still doesn't totally get it, but she said she just wants me to be happy. guess that's all i really needed. stuff like if she comes to pride and w/e doesn't matter to me tbh, just knowing she's there for me is enough

Cornelia chewed her lip wistfully. If only it worked out that simply for everybody...

That's great. Really, I'm so happy it all worked out for you. I'm just worried about my parents, I guess. They're not bad people, but sometimes they can be so backwards with things. Really, I just want them to accept that this is a part of me so I can stop lying about a college guy just to keep them from overanalysing the way I am around Irma.

hey i get it! you're both just so darn cute together!

Indeed we are.

They shared some quick, casual conversation (Will, as usual, had some funny story to tell her about life as Taranee's roommate, and Cornelia caught them up on the bullshit that was her and Irma's road trip to the cabin) before Will had to leave to start their morning swim practice.

“Psst. Blondie.”

Cornelia dropped her phone in surprise, catching sight of rich green eyes watching her intently.

“You're awake...”

“Great detective work, Sherlock, want a medal?”

“It's too early in the morning for you to be sassing me,” grumbled Cornelia, half-heartedly throwing her phone onto the blankets and scooting closer to Irma.

“Good thing you're way too cute for me to be sassing you with intent to kill,” Irma teased, pulling her in closer for a hug. She was overly warm from sleep and Cornelia happily melted into it. Irma's boobs made for an excellent pillow.

“You're comfy,” she mumbled.

“Yup, cushy tits run in the family,” Irma remarked, relishing in the way Cornelia shuddered with an implosion of laughter. “You know this is the first time in months we've woken up together?”

“Feels like it too,” Cornelia sighed. “I've missed this. You should really come visit me more often, you know.”

“Oh yeah? I visited you twice last term. It's your turn to visit me just as soon as daddy dearest hands over your fucking prius.”

“Well, no offence, but your college campus is like a 30 minute drive away from Heatherfield,” pointed out Cornelia. “I'd sooner you visit me than risk bumping into Uriah of all people at a house party.”

Irma scoffed. “Thanks a lot! It may not be ivy-league or State U or anything, but there's still a ton of stuff to do! Besides, pretty sure Uriah's at Sheffield Community College, Anna works with his mom.” She paused. “Though, I did run into our dear old chum Nigel at a Halloween party this year.”

“Oh? And how did that go down?”

“How do you think? He followed me around half the night asking about Tara until I finally snapped and was like, 'you missed the boat, honey, our girl is gay as the day is long'. Haven't seen him since. Reckon he dropped out when he heard how swimmingly Taranee's life is going without him.”

“I doubt he flunked out because of a girl he was dumped by five years ago,” Cornelia deadpanned.

“Uh, hello? Our girl is a catch. He's lucky to have even walked the Earth in the same lifetime as her.”

“A bit dramatic, but I get the sentiment.”

Cornelia fell quiet, listening intently to Irma's heartbeat, her breathing.

“D'you think today's gonna be the day?” Irma asked softly.

Cornelia let out a noise, somewhere between laughter and a sigh.

“How do you always know what I'm thinking?”

“Because you have the antithesis of a poker face, darlin'. I've been reading you like a book since I was thirteen.”

She tangled her fingers up in Cornelia's hair, gently combing through, careful to avoid knots.

“I don't know if it'll be today,” sighed Cornelia. “Does it make me a hypocrite? I was so certain I wanted to do it this time.”

“Look. You need to stop putting this pressure on yourself to do everything exactly how you imagined,” Irma said firmly. “You don't have to tell them I'm your girlfriend. You don't even have to tell them you're pan if you aren't ready for it. We can call this off, you can spend the rest of Christmas break not having to worry about their reactions, and we can make out and cuddle and all that good stuff the second we set foot in my house. Would that make you feel better?”

“No?” Cornelia reached up to pull Irma into a proper hug. “I want them to know how happy you make me. I want them to know that I'm happy being myself. But the part where I actually tell them? Opening up like that, it... it's a very emotional process.”

“I know. I know it is. But I promise you, once it's out in the open... never mind their reaction, you will feel worlds better with it off your chest.”

“Ugh, why does my girlfriend have to be so wise?” Cornelia wondered aloud. Irma formed a fist and lightly knocked her on the head.

“If I'm going to be a teacher some day, I gotta be wise. I'm meant to be some sort of inspiring prophet, if your dad's stirring speech at dinner last night was anything to go by.”

“He's a passionate guy,” Cornelia shrugged.

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

A sudden creak from down the hall disrupted them, and they sprung apart, Cornelia sitting upright and reaching for her phone while Irma pretended to go back to sleep. A moment later, Harold's face poked around the door.

“Morning, darling!” he uttered in a stage-whisper, before stepping into the room clad in his robe and slippers. “Does Irma take coffee? I was thinking of brewing a pot to wake your mother up.”

“Only with six million sugars in,” Cornelia said, rolling her eyes fondly. “Don't worry, I'll take over. I know how to make it so she doesn't spit it out.”

Harold laughed, and moved over to start on breakfast as Cornelia set up the coffee maker.

“You two are as thick as thieves.”

Cornelia's hand froze.

“...Well, we're still good friends, but...”

“I drifted apart from my school friends when I went away to college, you know,” Harold mused. “I regret it now. The rift grew so big, and by the time I saw them again they were married, had families... and although we could still talk with ease about these kinds of things, the bond we shared at school – the books we liked to read, the movies we saw together, the pranks we would play on our teachers – all of that was gone. It was something we could look back upon and laugh at, but it's not the same.”

“I didn't know that.”

Harold offered her a kind smile, and reached over to crack some eggs into a bowl, dusting the mixture with pepper.

“Well, I think it's important to keep in touch with those you love. I was actually quite worried when I heard that you were going to your college alone. I know how close you are to the girls you met at Sheffield. I'm... glad that you were able to keep a close bond with them despite the distance.”

Oh, if only he knew how close.

Cornelia set out some cups on the side, hoping her face wasn't burning. If she really was as easy to read as Irma said...

“Well, they're my friends. They're important to me.” She glanced over at him. “Dad, I'm... I'm really happy with my life right now. With the person I am, and the person I'm with.”

Harold stopped whisking, and moved over to pull Cornelia into a tight hug.

“I'm so glad to hear that, darling. I really am.”

They worked in a pleasant silence after that, and when Irma next rolled over, Cornelia was nudging her, cup of overly sweetened coffee in her hand.

“Rise and shine.”

Harold was whistling away as Irma took her first sip, his back to them as he began tossing some bacon and eggs in the pan.

“Mmm. You made it just how I like it.”

“Well, you're picky. If my dad made it you'd choke it down and feel awful the rest of the day,” Cornelia teased. Irma stuck her tongue out.

“Jerk.” After another sip, she added coyly, “I heard the conversation between you two. It was sweet. Are you thinking today might be the day after all?”

“Maybe,” Cornelia said, a flame of confidence ignited in her heart. “He really wants me to be happy, so... maybe when I tell him, he'll understand.”

“Look, Harold Hale might not be leading a revolution, but he's always seemed like a chill guy to me,” Irma said quietly. “If you keep dropping hints, he might figure the rest out on his own.”

“Maybe.”

Cornelia glanced back at her father, still blissfully unaware of their conversation, and she leaned down to press a kiss to Irma's forehead.

“Now, drink up. We have a big day ahead of us.”

…

Breakfast was uneventful, with Lillian dominating the conversation with talk of some dream inspired by a zombie TV show she'd been binge-watching over Christmas break. Irma munched on French toast and bacon and watched in amusement as Harold became disgustingly sweet with Elizabeth, pressing kisses to her head whenever he went to refill drinks, even reaching down to pinch her behind when he was sure his daughters and his oldest's girlfriend weren't looking. Elizabeth swatted his hand away, pretending to be mortified at his brazen display in front of Irma, but the rouge on her cheeks and the affectionate eyeroll told another story. All the while, Cornelia quietly ate and drank, keeping a straight face while prodding Irma's foot playfully with her own under the table.

Oh, Irma could get used to mornings like these.

They took turns showering and dressing, and did the usual routine of wrestling for more mirror space as they brushed their teeth and put on make-up.

“So what's the plan for today?” Irma asked, rubbing some kind of moisturiser into her cheeks. Cornelia leaned in closer and inhaled with a happy sigh. Mango. Irma took the opportunity to turn and press a kiss to the tip of her nose, and Cornelia pulled away with a grin.

“Oh, well now we're all together, today will definitely be a decorating day. I mean, it's Christmas eve tomorrow, so it'd be a little sad if we didn't have the decorations ready by then,” she explained with a shrug, uncapping her mascara beginning to apply it to her upper lashes. “It really shouldn't take too long though. We'll have some time to get away, don't worry. And I think tonight my parents reserved dinner for us at a restaurant in town. I have to warn you, the waiter we had last time was super obnoxious...”

Irma stared at her reflection in the mirror, zoning out of Cornelia's anecdote about the wait staff at said restaurant, before glancing over at her girlfriend. In their teen years, she'd always envied how immaculate Cornelia's appearance was. She'd always seemed flawless somehow, even though Irma knew better and would never ever admit that much. Then, those feelings started to mix with something else, and attraction, jealousy and self-consciousness melted into an ugly soup of insecurity in her psyche. Even now, when she knew better than anyone that Cornelia was smitten with her, doubt crept in, especially in situations like these when they had to stand beside one another and pretend like they belonged in the same league.

“You're beautiful,” she sighed, interrupting Cornelia's spontaneous yelp review. Cornelia's hand jerked at the suddenness of Irma's statement and she hurriedly reached to blot away a clump of mascara stuck to the end of her eyelashes.

“Oh. Well, I do my best, and when it comes to make-up practice always makes perfect, you know.”

“I'm not talking about make-up, though yeah, you should consider dropping out of college and becoming a beauty guru on youtube instead.”

“Well, I think you're gorgeous too,” Cornelia replied with a smile, moving onto her lips. First a layer of balm to soften them, a waiting period of three minutes, and then the application of gloss or lipstick. It was her routine every time, and the waiting drove Irma mad in the mornings they'd spent together over the years. Cornelia's lip balm always smelled so damn good that fighting the temptation to kiss it clean off was a rare torture.

“Have you seen me?” muttered Irma, frowning at her reflection. “Eyebags for days. Messy brows. My lips are chapped to fuck and my skin has been kind of red lately...”

“Every time I see you I want to kiss you all over,” Cornelia said in the kind of factual tone that had Irma raising an eyebrow in disbelief. Still, she didn't protest as Cornelia wound her arms around her, and Irma caught a whiff of coconut lip balm. God damn it, she wanted Corny-kisses so bad. “You still get insecure, huh?”

“Hard not to when my girlfriend could pass for a fucking supermodel.”

“While I'm flattered that you hold me in such high regard, you're a far cry from the disaster you're making yourself out to be,” Cornelia laughed. “Besides, if you're really worrying about stuff, just talk to me, okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Irma muttered. Cornelia rifled through her make-up bag for a few moments, before bringing out a small bottle.

“Come here, dope. Let me help you.”

“Why pay big bucks for a beautician when you can get one for free in the form of a generous girlfriend?” Irma deadpanned, but a smile tugged at the corner of her lips. Cornelia grinned back and started to apply the liquid to her cheeks and brow with some kind of blender sponge thing shaped like an egg.

“The trick to combating redness and dark circles is to have a good, strong base that neutralises any discolouration in your skin. In your case, green tones kind of cancel out reds, and yellows are good against dark circles, so it just leaves your skin looking healthier, see?”

She switched over quickly to one with a yellower hue, and Irma hummed in agreement, staying put as Cornelia began tending to her eyebags.

“I think I get where you're coming from. Hay Lin calls me up all the time to gush about colour theory, the importance of colour wheels is stuck in my brain for life.”

“Oh, you and Hay Lin call each other all the time? More than me?” Cornelia teased. She put down the sponge and reached back over to her make-up bag, retrieved something that Irma could only describe as the world's tiniest broom, and began to tame Irma's unruly eyebrows. “Don't tell me the two of you are having a sordid affair behind my back.”

“Our torrid love affair is about as real as yours with mystery botanist man,” Irma responded. Without breaking eye contact with Cornelia, she reached over for her own chapstick and began to apply it. Cornelia's tongue poked out slightly in concentration as she smoothed down Irma's brows.

“It's bad enough my parents keep going on about him, don't you start.”

“Well, he is my alter-ego,” Irma pointed out. “Seems a little rude to silence my opinions on him.”

“I hate when you make a good point.”

Cornelia leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Irma's brow, breathing in the smell of her mango moisturiser one more time and sighing deeply. Irma, in a similar moment of pure, unfiltered lesbianism, caught the scent of Cornelia's lip balm and damn went out of her mind. She tilted Cornelia's head down and what transpired for the next few minutes were a combination of kisses, hugs, and several attempts to escape Irma's python-like grip.

“It's lipstick time,” Cornelia complained, a playful glint in her eye as she finally pried Irma's arms off of her waist. “My lips will dry out.”

“Honey, we're both balmed up, if anything, now we have a double coating. You'll be fine.”

“Still, the sooner my make-up is done, the sooner we can get decorating out of the way, and the sooner we can chill out watching crappy holiday movies.”

“The temptation to stay in this bathroom where no one's watching and we can keep kissing forever, though...”

“Aren't we saving 'kissing forever' for the week at your place?” Cornelia asked innocently, perfectly pencilled eyebrows raised.

“No, that's 'sex forever', silly,” Irma said cheerfully, clapping her on the back.

She glanced back at her reflection. While the foundation and tiny grooming hadn't done much besides tidying her reflection up some, her eyes twinkled with something she could only describe as 'the Cornelia effect', and she found her appearance didn't really bug her so much by this point. As they stood side by side, Irma came to the realisation that she and Cornelia really did fit together, but more like a pair of odd socks that compliment each other in all their contrasting glory.

Maybe someone else would call that love.

…

Christmas with the Hales was turning out to be pretty fun.

Irma and Lillian fought bitterly over control of the spotify playlist that morning, while Elizabeth and Cornelia decorated the tree and Harold cheerfully filmed the entire ordeal. Lillian was stubbornly obsessed with the classics, while Irma kept switching them out for lesser appreciated cover versions, partly because rooting for the underdogs was how she rolled, and partly because she got immense glee out of pissing Lillian off (and for that, Cornelia saluted her for her heroism). When Karmilla's edition of 'All I Want For Christmas' came on instead of Mariah Carey, Lillian threatened to throw Irma's phone out of the window, which had Elizabeth swooping in and putting an end to their temporary rivalry.

They called a truce when the parents set out to buy icing and other edible decorations for the Christmas cookies, leaving the girls to prep them for baking. Lillian greased the baking tray while Cornelia mixed eggs and flour and sugar and cinnamon together in a big red bowl. Irma, meanwhile, sat herself on the island and, in compromise with Lillian, put on a playlist of nineties nostalgia, singing along to Re-feel-it and pretending to drum with a pair of wooden spoons against the countertop.

“Funnyyyyy, how we run around,” she belted. “And see what we got, we don't even know what it is we found...”

“And honey, take a look around,” Cornelia chimed in, using the whisk as a microphone. She spun on her heels, her eyes meeting Irma's as she lifted the whisk up to her lips. “By the time we get there we won't even know where it is we're bound!”

The two of them burst out laughing, and Lillian rolled her eyes. “Dorks.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Cornelia sighed dramatically, smirking at Irma before turning back to the mixing bowl and continuing to whisk the mixture. “I forgot we were in your divine presence, Lillian. I hope you can forgive us for entering the realm of uncool nostalgia for two seconds.”

Irma snorted.

“You know, she always gets more sarcastic when you're around, Irma,” Lillian accused.

“Yeah, I rub off on her. I'm a baaaad influence.”

“Is that any way to talk to our renowned guest?” Cornelia chastised. “What would Dad say?”

“He'd probably tell you not to sing into the whisk. You know how many germs you could be putting into the cookies by breathing on the mixture? You've built up an immunity living among students, but have some consideration for those of us who haven't stepped foot in a sweaty student union hall.”

“You're actually mad,” Irma cackled. “What kind of diseases could Cornelia have besides a bad case of the cooties? Unless... Corny, please don't tell me your parents are anti-vaxxers, or I might have to end this friendship for good.”

“Hell no, they're fine. Since when did you become such a germophobe, Lillian?” Cornelia teased.

“I play zombie games,” Lillian responded sagely. “I know how infection spreads.”

“They really don't paint as accurate a picture as you've been led to believe.”

As the mixture began to thicken into a dough, Lillian joined Irma on sitting on the island counter.

“So what's college like?”

“Classes are boring, my roommate sucks, and I'm drowning in student loans. But the parties are fun, and the people are cool when they aren't being pretentious tools.”

Lillian hummed.

“I can't wait until I go to college. Community's one of my favourite shows.”

“Heh, well, Community is an exaggeration for the sake of comedy, but...”

“Cornelia, what's your college like?”

“You saw it when you and Mom and Dad helped me move in,” Cornelia pointed out, distracted as she began to knead the dough.

“Yeah, but it's not the same! Your dorm is nice, sure, but what about the classes? The parties? The boys?”

“Hmm, I don't know about that. Boys aren't my area of expertise.”

“Well that's gay.”

Irma raised her eyebrows.

“Using 'gay' as an insult? Very 2004 of you.”

Lillian rolled her eyes. “Sorry. So you don't have a boyfriend?”

“Nope,” Irma said shortly.

Cornelia began to knead a little harder.

“I bet you know stuff about Cornelia's boyfriend though,” Lillian said to Irma, arms folded. “Why doesn't she talk about him? Is he secretly ugly?”

Irma snorted.

“Ha. I know a thing or two, but he's actually... probably the most handsome person I've ever known. Aside from your sister!” She playfully punched Lillian on the arm, who looked unimpressed by the statement. Cornelia made a strangled sound.

“Lillian, pass me the cookie cutters, please,” she choked.

Lillian raised her eyebrows and hopped off the counter top, retrieving ones shaped like pine trees and angels and bells, handing them to Cornelia.

“Here they are, weirdo. Anyway, you can't blame me for being curious! We had to pry it out of you that you were seeing anyone at all, and you're always so twitchy when we bring him up. Irma, is he a junkie or a biker or something?”

“Nope, just a loser who lies around watching cartoons all day,” Irma responded with a lazy grin.

“So you have a thing in common.”

“Lillian!” Cornelia admonished, slamming a cookie cutter into the dough with enough force to make the other shapes jump. “Also, Irma, I don't appreciate you calling my partner a loser.”

Lillian pulled a face.

“Partner? What are you, old timers?”

“Cowboys,” Irma chimed in.

“Oh, stop teasing me,” Cornelia huffed. “I'm just trying to be more inclusive. The world could do with more of that, you know.”

Lillian shrugged. “Whatever. So you're liberal now?”

“I reckon I've always been, yes.”

“And you, Irma?”

“Socialist, through and through.”

“Of course you are.”

“Just wait until college, Lillian,” Irma chided with a smile, as Cornelia began setting out the Christmas cookies on the tray. “There's a whole wide world out there.”

…

The Italian restaurant Harold took them to that night was fucking fancy, to say the least. The kind of fancy where there were lemon-scented wipes in little packets on every table and complimentary garlic dough balls and everyone was in suits and dresses. The Hales looked like they fit right in, and Irma was some vagrant they'd picked up off of the streets and were treating to dinner in a commendable act of charity.

“I don't even know what half the stuff on this menu is,” Irma hissed to Cornelia as they took their seats.

“It's good food,” Cornelia promised. “They just use posh names to scare people into thinking its worth the money they're paying. Come on, you watch enough Hell's Kitchen to know what filet mignon is.”

Irma ended up ordering something that she was pretty sure was some kind of beef thing, and Cornelia ordered the one pasta dish on the menu that used aubergines instead of pancetta. The wine was decent at least, and Irma found it easier to sneak glances at Cornelia's cleavage in the scoop neck dress she was wearing with the large flower centrepiece obscuring them from her parents. Lillian, while looking the part in a simple white turtle neck dress, was very obviously playing on her phone under the table.

The sweet onion soup starters arrived swiftly, and Irma was dragged back into a light grilling about her teaching degree from Harold, while Elizabeth began to catch Cornelia up with the latest family drama.

“Why, I just think it's so inspiring that you're choosing to act as a beacon for young people, and pave their futures-”

“-And your uncle, of course, is still coming around asking for money, as if your grandparents don't have enough to worry about-”

“-And you know, teaching qualifications open up the whole world to you! You could teach in international schools, or you could teach English in schools where it's a secondary language-”

“-It's not like their health is getting any better, you know! I keep telling him it's time to stand on his own two feet, he's certainly old enough-”

The moment that their waiter came to take the dishes away, Irma hurriedly excused herself.

In the bathroom (one of those spotless white ones with tiny shell-shaped soaps and embossed toilet paper because of course, rich people) Irma took a few moments to collect herself, staring at her reflection in dismay. She'd done her best to look presentable, but she still stuck out like a sore thumb in this kind of environment. Her dress was a little tight since the last time she'd worn it was for graduation, and her choker was crooked. Her bun was already starting to look lopsided, the redness of her cheeks was starting to show through the base Cornelia had applied that morning...

“Why am I not as perfect as the folks out there?” she muttered to herself, eyes narrowing as she glared at her reflection. She reached for one of the shell-shaped hand soaps and began to pick it with the edge of her fingernail. Absently, the faucet turned and water began to gush out, thrumming to the beat of her frustration.

After a few minutes of self-loathing and contemplation, she heard the sound of the door open behind her, and saw a flash of Irish green fabric, before Cornelia came up behind her, a vision of concern. She startled as the small army of water gushing from the faucet turned on her, almost letting out a hiss of steam, before Irma quickly called it off, allowing it to taper down the drain and out of sight.

“Irma, are you okay? My parents thought I should check on you in case the wine didn't agree with you, but...”

“Yeah, it isn't the wine,” Irma sighed. “It's this whole place. I can't fucking believe your dad called this place rustic on the way here.”

“He doesn't know the meaning of the word,” Cornelia agreed with a giggle. She wrapped her arms around Irma, leaning down to rest her chin on her shoulder. “You look amazing tonight.”

“Really?” Irma sighed. “I don't feel it. Or is this a classic 'lying to your girlfriend's face so she doesn't start crying in a stupidly fancy bathroom' tactic?”

“Well, it wouldn't be a great start to the meal.” Cornelia pressed a kiss to her jaw. “But I'm serious. You look great.”

“I'm practically bursting out of this dress. My tits are fighting for freedom. And my hair is coming undone and my stupid face is getting stupid red!”

“Of course it is, you've been drinking,” Cornelia said, rolling her eyes fondly. “And your face is the furthest thing from stupid, so don't even start.”

“I'm past the point of starting, Corny, I'm waist-fucking-deep in it. Look at this damn soap.” She gestured aggressively towards a shrivelled pebble in the basin. “That was shaped like a fucking seashell when I came in here and I picked and picked at it and now it looks like, I don't know, a really tiny golf ball?”

“Wow. Okay, let's take a step back from the soap.” Cornelia spun her around and rested her hands on her shoulders. “Irma, you look wonderful tonight. Seriously, you do, and I hate that going to this stupid dinner has made you so worked up.”

“It's not just the dinner.” Irma frowned up at her so-tall-it-was-unfair girlfriend. “Look at us. I mean, really look. We're like chalk and cheese, except, you're too pretty to be chalk. We're like – I don't know! An oil painting and cheese! I don't belong here eating food so fancy I can't pronounce it with wine I'm too weak to drink and in a dress that's too tiny for my damn good. You might fit into this magazine-spread life where everything is minimalist and perfect and velvet but I just don't. I saw it in the mirror this morning and I saw it in the mirror again just now. Are you honestly okay with that?”

“Why are you asking me this?” Cornelia asked, the smile gone from her face. “I love you. I love having you in my life. Sure, I like the nice material stuff sometimes, but if you think for one second that I'd put that stuff before you – before us – then the wine has definitely gone to your head.”

Irma huffed. After a beat, she muttered, “Rich people wine is ridiculous.”

“Agreed. Now, listen to me. We're too deep into this relationship to be hitting insecurities over stuff like this, got it? You know I come from money. You wanted to come on this trip with me. Unfortunately, that means seeing the way my family lives up close and personal. I just want you to remember that doesn't define me, or how I feel about you. I want you here. Okay?”

“I hate when you're being reasonable,” Irma groaned. She hugged Cornelia tight.

“Oof. Heh, don't tell me you're drunk already, we have the rest of a dinner to get through.”

“Are you gonna tell your parents tonight?” Irma mumbled into Cornelia's waist.

Cornelia hummed uncertainly. “Maybe. I don't know.”

“Well, remember I still love you. If you don't wanna come out here in this stupid fancy restaurant, no pressure. We'll make it happen some other time.”

“Hey, no need to comfort me, you're the one feeling insecure,” Cornelia teased. Irma lifted her head up to protest, and was met with Cornelia's lips pressing against her forehead.

“Ugh, you're too cute,” whined Irma. “If I weren't wearing heels I would go on my tiptoes and kiss you. And if you weren't wearing heels, we might actually be fucking level for once.”

“Thanks for clarifying that,” Cornelia quipped. “Not to worry, I can accommodate you.”

She leaned down and cupped Irma's cheeks, pulling her into a kiss.

The sound of the bathroom door abruptly shutting ended the sickeningly sweet moment, and they jolted apart. Lillian stood there, wide-eyed.

“Uhhh. Mom told me to come get you two, the main courses are out...” She blinked a few times. “Are you guys... lesbians?”

“Lillian,” Cornelia started, voice strained.

“I'm a lesbian,” Irma said with a shrug and an awkward chuckle.

“So you called me ignorant earlier even though you really are gay?”

“Ignorance is ignorance, sis.”

“Lillian, please don't tell Mom and Dad about this,” Cornelia pleaded. “I'm going to tell them myself, I just haven't had time to yet.”

Lillian folded her arms and huffed.

“I can't believe your mystery guy is just Irma.”

“Oh, ouch?”

Cornelia let go of Irma and approached Lillian.

“I'm serious. Can you please promise me you won't say anything?”

Lillian shrugged.

“I guess. I mean, I don't care about it. Not like they'd believe me anyway.” Seeing Cornelia's pinched expression, she sighed loudly. “All right, no. No, I won't say anything. So you can stop looking at me like that! Now come on, or Mom will be next to find us in here.”

As she pushed open the door to leave, she turned back.

“Also, Irma, you've got lipstick on your face. Hard to play dumb when the evidence is right there on your forehead.”

“When did she become such a smartass?” Irma muttered as Cornelia fished around in her clutch, bringing out a make-up wipe. “Look, don't panic. Lillian might be a pain, but she respects your business. Probably. I mean, I don't know her that well, but it's none of her business right? She knows that.”

“How did she seem to you?” Cornelia asked, chewing her lip. “Uncomfortable? Freaked out? D-Disgusted?”

“None. It was the same kind of grossed out she got when she caught you making out with Peter for the first time, I reckon. It was sibling disgust, not, y'know, her being a phobe.”

“Are you sure?” Cornelia fretted.

“Super sure. Now come on, you heard what she said. Lets go back before your mom drags us back by the ears.”

Irma reached over to squeeze her hand and didn't let go until they were out of the bathroom and in sight of the Hales. Elizabeth turned and shot them a disapproving look, motioning them back over, and Harold's face lit up with a delighted smile.

“I was starting to think the two of you had fallen in!” he joked, as they took their seats. “Is everything all right?”

“Oh, everything's fine,” Cornelia promised, a lie rolling effortlessly from her tongue as Irma stared down at the steak au poivre in front of her. “Irma just smudged her mascara and needed me to come to her rescue.”

“Ah, I see. Surely it shouldn't take that long though?” Elizabeth turned to Lillian. “Were they taking selfies?”

“Oh, they were having a gay old time in there,” Lillian deadpanned.

Cornelia froze. Irma dared to look up from her food to stare daggers at Lillan.

A moment passed, and Harold shrugged.

“Well, I'll never understand it, myself. But the youth of today are always finding beauty in everything! They can make moments last a lifetime! And I'm envious that an entire generation has learned to take pictures from an angle that certainly appear more flattering in post-production...”

As his speech continued, the tension melted away. Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at the two of them, as if to silently chastise them for sending Harold on a spiel about technological advancements, before tucking into her food.

Cornelia swiftly kicked Lillian under the table, but all she got back in response was an impish grin.

…

“Urgh, I'm full to burst.”

A now pyjama-clad Irma flopped face down on the pull-out bed, before rolling onto her side and burping softly into the back of her hand.

“I told warned you against dessert, if you recall,” Cornelia said with a grin, pulling her nightgown over her head.

“Yeah, but they had cheesecake. You know I'm weak for cheesecake, Corny.”

“That I do.” Cornelia lay down beside her. “I was a bundle of nerves the whole night.”

“Aw, come here.” Irma pulled Cornelia close, combing her fingers through her hair. “Lillian was just being a brat, that's all. She's got dirt on you, of course she's gonna poke a little fun. But she wasn't about to out you or anything.”

“I know,” Cornelia groaned. “I know. But she's on thin ice, I'm telling you now!”

“Well, the sooner you get it off your chest, the sooner she'll lose that power over you,” Irma pointed out. She yawned. “I'm pooped. Can you turn the light off? And then come spoon me?”

“Sure, your highness,” teased Cornelia, prying Irma's hands off her waist. As she wandered over to the light switch near the hallway, she caught sight of Lillian leaving the bathroom. The two stood there in silence for a few moments, before Cornelia uttered, “Hi.”

“Hi.” Lillian shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly. “Hey, Cornelia?”

“Yeah?”

“Um. I know I didn't say it at the restaurant, but... I don't like, mind or anything. About you and Irma.”

Relief washed over her.

“You don't?”

“No! And you should stop caring that somebody does, you know? Mom and Dad are whatever. I don't know if they'd care about it. But, it shouldn't matter if we mind or not, that's my point. It's about you and Irma, not about the rest of us. Although, since you're a lesbian now, I wish you had better taste in girls. I've seen her eat peanut butter out of the jar with her fingers,” Lillian pointed out, pulling a face.

Cornelia, stunned by the overload of information, leaned back against the wall.

“With her fingers?”

“Yup. It was our house peanut butter, too!”

Cornelia buried her head in her hands. “Oh my god. If I didn't love her so damn much that would for sure be a deal breaker. Also, I'm not a lesbian.”

“You're not?”

“No. I loved Peter, remember?”

Lillian pouted. “Yeah. I miss him.”

“I know you do, you remind me all the time.” Cornelia squared her shoulders. “Lillian, I'm pansexual.”

Lillian raised an eyebrow. “Pansexual?”

“Yes. Pansexual. I... fancy people regardless of whether they're a guy, a girl, or nonbinary.”

“Nonbinary?”

“The internet is a great place to learn about this stuff, since you're on the track to being an ally now.”

Lillian giggled.

“Yeah, I guess. Well, okay. So you're not gay, you're... what's the short of it? Pan?”

Cornelia nodded wordlessly.

“Okay. Cool. You're pan. And Irma's your girlfriend. And she's a lesbian?”

“Yes. You caught on fast.”

With a shrug, Lillian said simply, “It wasn't that hard to grasp. You're pan, Irma's gay, you're dating. That's that.”

Cornelia's mouth opened and closed a few times. At last, she uttered, “You made that seem really easy.”

“I'm a smart and socially aware kid,” Lillian said proudly, hands on her hips. Her smug expression softened. “And I'm happy you're happy. I was kinda thinking, cause you never mentioned your 'mystery uni boyfriend', that maybe you didn't really like him. I'm glad it's just a mix up.”

Cornelia's heart swelled, and she stepped towards Lillian, hugging her tight.

“You're a good sister.”

“And you're a clingy sister, god!”

They bid goodnight and Cornelia climbed into bed beside Irma, who had her back to her and was softly groaning. She yelped as Cornelia wriggled under the covers.

“Holy crap, Corny, your feet are colder than Mount fucking Thanos!”

“So warm me up.”

“Sorry, you got the wrong guardian for that party trick.”

Cornelia rolled her eyes fondly and reached around to spoon her.

“Geez, you ate too much. Your stomach feels like a rock.”

“Don't bully me, that was rich people food! How many times am I gonna get to eat like that again, huh?”

“If you'd just let me take you fancy places-” Cornelia pointed out.

“You know I hate fancy places!” whined Irma, punctuated by another burp. “Ugh. Just cuddle me to sleep, jerk.”

“Who are you calling a jerk, jerk?”

Cornelia obliged nonetheless, letting her body wrap around Irma's with a familiarity that had adapted over the years; from guardian sleepovers to family vacations to just the two of them drunkenly sprawled out in Cornelia's dorm. And now here they were, fitting together like jigsaw pieces, water and earth.

“Sweet dreams,” Cornelia whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of Irma's neck.

“Keep your lips to yourself, Corny,” mumbled Irma sleepily, snuggling closer all the same.

[javis-beretta]

To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before (1)

this is part one of my first series, based off the movie w/ the same title which is so stupid and cheesy, i love it. i’m gonna continue this anyway (because i’m having a good time writing it) but pls send me an ask or a message if ya like it bc i crave validation. enjoy! <3

((also this has some swears and i don’t like writing abt girls fighting, so i’m changing that part of the plot thx))

part 2 / part 3 / part 4

It wasn’t that you fell in love easily, the opposite was actually true. You just had a lot of fuzzy feelings, fairly often, and those feelings were pretty easy to misinterpret as love. That’s how it had been with Race Higgins, back in grade six, when everyone still called him Tony and he was your first kiss in a game of spin the bottle. That’s how it had been with Romeo Cortes, when he danced with you at your first ever school dance in grade nine. That’s how it had been with Jack Kelly, who had been your first best friend, your cute neighbour and your sister’s first boyfriend.

(Well, Kath wasn’t your sister, not exactly. Her parents, Mr and Mrs Pulitzer had taken you in when your mom had passed and, when Mrs Pulitzer joined her, Katherine’s dad had become a father to you both. So, she wasn’t your sister, not by blood, but she was your family in every way that mattered.)

One thing your mother had taught you, long ago, before you’d been old enough to understand what she meant, was that there were few better ways to understand yourself than writing. She filled books with pages and pages of how she felt when she met your dad, and how she felt when he wasn’t around anymore, and how her heart soared with love for you.

So, whenever you heart felt a little too full, you let your feelings overflow onto pages. After you kissed Race, in the middle of a game of spin the bottle at your first real boy-girl party, you wrote him a letter explaining how much it meant to you. After Romeo saw you standing alone at your first Homecoming and took your hand to lead you in a sweet, short slow dance, you wrote him a letter about how good it felt to not be alone, and to have him by your side. After Katherine told you that she was dating Jack, when you felt your heart sink as you smiled and gave her a hug, you wrote him a letter about how much you wished he’d chosen you, or even seen you as an option.

The letters were only ever for your eyes, for you to understand what your heart wanted, at those moments. Race was dating Spot, your second (and ex) best friend; Romeo was gay, and the entire school knew that he’d been pining after Darcy for forever and Jack was cute and creative and kind, but Katherine was the closest person to your heart and you would never ever hurt her by dating him, even after they broke up when she left for college. The letters were all hypotheticals. They were impossible fantasies and you liked it that way.

Until, on the third day of your junior year, when it all came crashing down.

Race walked up to you, dressed in the same jeans and bomber jacket kind of style that he (and most of his track team friends) had been rocking since the start of high school. He made it work, but that was no secret. Everyone who had ever been in your school hallways knew that Race Higgins was cute. It was one of those things. The sun rose every morning, the moon controlled the tides, Race Higgins was cute. It was an easy and simple fact. Another easy and simple fact was that Spot, Race’s boyfriend, had stopped liking you pretty much as soon as high school had began. You weren’t sure why, but you didn’t mind too terribly. You had people in your corner, like Katherine and Davey, so Spot could dislike you if he wanted to. Still, he probably wouldn’t have been too happy to see Race coming to talk to you with a serious look in his eyes, looking as though he was seeking you out.

He found you sitting outside school, with your laptop open on your lap. You were working on your English assignment as you waited for the bus.

“Hey, Y/N. Can I, uh, talked to you for a second?”

You were surprised, but you pulled out an earphone and motioned for Race to sit down next to you.

“Listen, as much as I appreciate the thought, Spot and I, like, just broke up so I don’t think that we could…”

He trailed off, looking at you expectantly.

“No offense, but what are you talking about, Race?”

He laughed, sounding a little uneasy and reached into his pocket, pulling out a piece of paper in a vaguely familiar envelope.

“This letter is, like, really sweet and from what I can remember that kiss was pretty hot, given that we were twelve, but, I just don’t think we should date.”

Suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea wash over you. Oh, no. No, no, no, no. He could not have gotten the letter. How could he have gotten the letter? It was locked away in a box at the top of the closest in your room and there was no way he could have it. But, he did. And, if he had gotten his, that meant that… Oh, motherfucking, no.

You looked up and saw Jack, heading out of the school building and making a beeline for you. No, no, no. So, before you could think, you panicked and did the only thing that would stop Jack from talking to you. You grabbed the collar of Race’s jacket and pulled him towards you. Letting your laptop drop onto the grass below you, you screwed your eyes shut, and kissed him. After a moment, he sunk into you and you opened your eyes for a second to see Jack, in your peripheral vision, hesitating and turning back. In your head you thanked Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

You pulled away from Race and both of you were gasping a little.

“Uh, okay, that was a little better than the kiss we had when we were twelve, but, um, respectfully, what the fuck just happened?”

Race sounded as confused as you felt, and just then, the school bus pulled in.

“Shit, I-I’m so sorry about that, but, uh, I have to go. Thank you!”

You grabbed your laptop, stuffed it in your bag and ran to the bus, sinking down into the first seat you found. You glanced out of the window and saw Race, still clutching the letter tightly in his hands, looking well-kissed, with wide pupils and swollen lips and more than a little bewildered.

“Fuck,” you said under your breath.

“You can say that again, sister.”

You glanced to your right and, there, sitting next to you in all his glory, was Romeo Cortes.

“Hi,” you said feebly, with an even weaker wave.

“Hey. You okay? You kind of look like you just got rejected from the college of your dreams.”

“Ha. Something like that. I definitely have the same ‘my life is officially over’ feeling.”

He gave a low whistle and spoke softly.

“So, I, uh, got your letter.”

For the third time that day, you felt ready to chug a cup of lighter fluid. You didn’t reply.

“I’m really flattered, and Homecoming really was fun, but, um, you know I’m gay, right?”

You covered your warm face with your hands.

“I know, of course I do,” the words came out a little muffled, so you pulled your hands away and continued. “I wrote that letter ages ago. Those are the feelings of past me, not current me, I swear. I am so so sorry.”

Romeo nudged your shoulder with his and shrugged.

“Hey, it’s all good. I’m used to being irresistible.”

You let out a little helpless laugh and he grinned, kindly.

“There we go. So, you can smile! You look like you need someone to talk to. Wanna tell me about your day?”

You looked at him and the words came spilling out. You explained the letters, and Jack and your consensually ambiguous kiss with Race and the pit of helplessness you felt at the bottom of your stomach.

“Wow,” was all he said, at first. What more could he say?

“Well, first of all, homeboy kissed back, so I wouldn’t worry about the consent there. Secondly, you need to talk to your sister before her ex-boyfriend does. And then, you need to talk to him. And Race. Basically, you’ve got a lot of talking to do.”

“Can’t I just sink into a hole and die instead?”

“While that sounds like a great option, I’d be gutted if my favourite dance partner disappeared.”

He gave you a smile, and you felt a little bit better. If Romeo believed your story, maybe the others would too.

The bus pulled up to your stop and you got up to leave. Romeo was right, you needed to call Kath, as soon as you could.

As you walked from the bus stop to your house, you saw someone standing on your porch. He was wearing paint-stained jeans, a dark blue shirt, murderously hot combat boots and a badass leather jacket. Jack Kelly. Of fucking course. Shit. You turned and ran, as fast as your legs would carry you.