#i was struggling to think past number 7

[ominoose]

10 Fandoms/10 Characters/10 Tags

Thank you @steven-grants-world @reallyrallyauthor @redeyerhaenyra @soulsforsales for the tags, very sweet of you all <3

Jake Lockley / Moon Knight

2) Bart Allen / Young Justice

3) Shigaraki Tomura / My Hero Academia

4) Leto Atreides / Dune

5) Rosetta / Disney Fairies

6) Grogu / The Mandalorian

7) Princess Daisy / Mario

8) C3P0 / Star Wars

9) The Intruder - Mandela Catalogue

10) Fresno Nightcrawlers / Cryptozoology

Tags: Anyone that wants to post their stuff

[mariana-oconnor]

Types of AO3 Summary

Option 1 - The Excerpt:

The quickest, the easiest! Find a section of your fic that contains the main premise of said fic and also showcases your writing. Copy paste that into the summary box. BOOM! Done.

Best used for any fic, unless it's so short the excerpt would be the whole fic.

Option 2 - The No Frills:

Just a description of the fic. No need for drama. No need to complicate matters. Keep it simple, keep it safe.

Example: "A short character exploration of Blorbo's thoughts after Daisy leaves."

Best used for short fics, poems and fics where the style/format is more important than the plot. Or fics that tie directly into a scene/episode from canon or another fanfic.

Option 3 - The Hook:

Draw the reader's interest by giving them a set up with no conclusion. Introduce the main character(s), introduce the status quo, describe an inciting incident, leave a question in the reader's mind.

Example: "Blorbo is a barista at a coffee shop, struggling to pay their bills, but after handsome rockstar Obrolb walks into their coffee shop they find that they have to decide whether a chance at love is worth the cost of fame."

Best used for mid to long fic where there's a strong premise and follow through. Especially good for AUs. Can be expanded for more complex plots or used multiple times in one summary for multiple characters or subplots.

Option 4 - The Sitcom One-Liner:

"The one in which [over simplified description of one of the main plotlines]" This is essentially 'boil your plot down to the very simplest statement you can, oversimplify if possible. The more bizarre or unhelpful the better.

Example: "The one in which Blorbo learns to like cake".

Best used for fics with at least a little humour in them.

Option 5 - The Rule of Three:

Three is a magic number. Find three key moments in your fic and just list them. That's it. Often ends with 'not necessarily in that order' if used for comic effect. If it's an AU, establish that quickly (i.e. 'Star NHL player Blorbo…').

Example: "Blorbo makes a friend, falls in love, and almost burns to death, not necessarily in that order."

Best used for anything, really. Three is a magic number. The human brain loves things that come in threes.

Option 6 - The Trope Lure:

Why bother describing the plot? We all know AO3 readers are here for the tropes. Similar to The Sitcom One-Liner just using tropes instead of plot. Often followed by the phrase 'that nobody asked for'.

Example: "The Space western / A/B/O / Mail Order Bride fic that nobody asked for."

Often tacked on to the end of The Hook or The Excerpt as a tl;dr.

Best used for fic that plays its tropes straight with no shame or second guessing.

Option 7 - The Pre-emptive Strike:

(Not recommended) You just wrote this fic, the self doubt is consuming you. You feel the need to apologise profusely for your existence for no apparently reason. You feel cringe, you think the fic is cringe, you want everyone to know that you think the fic is cringe in case they don't like it and judge you for it.

Example: "So I fell in love with this pairing and had to write this. It's weird and terrible. Lol! I suck at summaries! Sorry!"

Best used for no fics ever. I cannot stress this enough.

(Seriously, I am begging you, don't do this. If you're planning to use this option, rethink it and do one of the others. I guarantee you more people will want to read your fic.)

Sometimes added on to any other summary as a strange disclaimer. (srsly. don't.)

Option 8 - The Unapology:

Embrace the mayhem, embrace the deep dark depths of your soul. The opposite of The Pre-emptive Strike. A combination of The No Frills and The Trope Lure that truly gives no fucks.

You have committed crimes and you are proud of them. You know what your USP is and you're going to make sure your target market finds you. Look upon my works, ye readers, and despair!

Example: "There aren't enough tentacle fics in this pairing, so I had to write one myself!"

Best used for fics with controversial/polarising tropes with all relevant details already clearly stated in the tags.

Option 9 - The Interrogation:

What if you wrote a summary entirely in questions? What if your readers had to read the fic to discover the answers? Who knows what will happen if you do this?

Example: "What happens when Blorbo McBlorbo gets his wish and Daisy doesn't make it to the plane on time? What happens when Obrolb finds out? How will this change Daisy and Blorbo's friendship?"

Best used for... I honestly don't know. This style of summary does not vibe with me. Mystery fic maybe? Sorry guys.

Option 10 - The Multipack:

Got a bunch of shorter fics in one work? No way of summarising them all without a wall of text larger than the Great Wall of China? This one is similar to The No Frills in that you're not describing the plots themselves and similar to The Trope Lure in that often broader genres and tropes are mentioned. What links those fics? Are they all in the same fandom? The same pairing? The same challenge? Just slap that right in the summary. A chapter list with 1-2 word trope/pairing summaries can be included or not.

Example: "A collection of Blorbo/Daisy/Obrolb fics based on Tumblr prompts. Chapter 1: Regency AU Chapter 2: Werewolves vs vampires Chapter 3: Ghost!Daisy Chapter 4: Space pirates!"

Best used for (obviously) works that are compilations of fic.

Option ? - The Void:

I said The Excerpt was the quickest and easiest summary to do. I lied, well... I didn't exactly lie. What is quicker and easier than not having a summary at all? After all, that's what the tags are for.

Example:

Best used for... nothing? Write a summary, guys. Please?

[casscainmainly]

My Top 10 Batgirl (2000) Moments

This is my list of top 10 Batgirl (2000) moments!! There were so many to choose from, but these are my personal favs :)). Counting down from 10 to my absolute favourite.

10. Volving

An absolute classic. Perfectly encapsulates what Cass does throughout the entire run, and more writers should play with Cass' use of language like this!

9. Beat Up Every Mob In Gotham

Perfect encapsulation of the early Barbara-Cass dynamic, and one of the funniest moments in the series. Just love the expressions and the way this shows so much of Cass' character.

8. Choosing to Write

The entirety of issue #2 builds up to this heart-wrenching moment. After delivering a dead man's final message to his wife, Cass sees the wife's reaction to the written message and decides to learn to write. A foundational moment for her character, and a nice motherly Babs scene too.

7. Alpha Redemption

Capping off issues 35 + 36, Batgirl unmasks herself to convince Alpha (an amnesiac villain) that he doesn't have to be defined by his past. Brilliantly displays her core belief that people can change, and the fact that her belief pays off makes this moment extremely moving.

6. For God's Sake

Possibly a controversial pick, but I really like this moment because it underscores some of the fundamental conflict between Babs and Cass. They love each other, but they don't always understand each other, particularly in regards to each other's disabilities. A painful moment that should have been explored more.

5. Fight For Your Life

My favourite Stephanie and Cass moment in this run. You can feel Cass' grief throughout this hallucination, but there's also so much hope and love (for Stephanie and for herself). It's an amazing conclusion to Cass' initial suicidal tendencies: instead of desiring death, she now actively fights to live.

4. Darknight Detectives

This interaction sums up a lot of Bruce and Cass' best moments. Cass' unwavering moral beliefs, Bruce's pride, their instinctive understanding of each other; they just get each other in a way few others do. I picked this one instead of the 'instinct/good answer' moment because it also marks Cass' development in her detective ability. From Moment 8 above to here, the confidence in her mental capacities has grown so much. She really volved!

3. Perfect For A Year

I mean of course this had to be here. These lines literally take up 90% of my brain space, it's an incredibly tense moment that illustrates Cass' desire to be perfect, her need to be useful and good. This issue is also just awesome.

2. You're... Not

Another absolute classic. Illustrates Cass' compassion and her belief that people aren't defined by their lineage, which is particularly personal to her, given her own dad. This struggle between good/bad, parent/child defines many of Cass' best stories.

1. Who Do You Think You Are? + Father's Day

What else would number 1 be?? Issue 33 is my favourite in the entire run, and the entire thing is stacked with moments that could fill up this list. I just love 'who do you think you are' because it's all of Cass' rage spilling out, and yet she still loves David Cain in her own complicated way (and he reciprocates, too). Then we have the ending, which is the BEST Bruce and Cass moment ever. The sparse, meaningful dialogue, the expressions, the reveal of the TITLE: comic book writing at its finest.

Honorary mention to the Shiva/Cass fight, which just narrowly missed out.

[cntloup]

You ask Simon for another favor :)

Simon bumps into you, a troubled woman whose boyfriend kicked her out after he found out she's pregnant

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

You call him again. You have to. To apologize. And it goes straight to voicemail. 

“Hey, Simon. Just wanted to say I'm so sorry. That was the last favor. I won’t be a nuisance anymore. At least I'll try... sorry.” you say and hang up, promising yourself not to dial this number ever again. 

Now you have to find a job. “Ugh...” you put your head in your hands and groan. 

“Hey, Simon. So sorry. Last favor. I promise. Could you...umm... if there are any jobs available... that you know of... could you please inform me? I used to be a receptionist at a hospital... if... if that’s useful information. Thanks. Sorry... again” 

‘Fucking shit...’ you think, ‘I can’t keep asking him for favors.’ 

But he’s the only person who’s shown you any kindness in your time of need. 

And he’s the only person you know right now whom you can rely on. 

He's the only one you have. 

A few days later, he calls you back, but you’re too busy emptying your stomach in the toilet, so he leaves a message saying that he knows of an available job and asks you to meet him in the cafe you went to the night you bumped into each other. 

He feels like he will regret this decision, and struggles with himself to let you in or not. But he seems unable to stay away. He has come this far in protecting you. He can't let you down. But the thoughts won't stop prancing around his mind.

What if he’s endangered your safety by his recklessness? While you’re oblivious to the dangers of being with him? And his past... you know nothing of his past. And it’s not fair to you. You have to know the whole picture to make this decision for yourself. But can he trust you? 

You meet at the time and place which he chose. He gives you only the information you need to know in order to apply for the job, refraining from spilling too much about himself... for now. And he gives you the number of his captain, John Price whom you should call. 

What you don’t know is that they know every little thing about you. Of course they would run a background check on you before giving you any information. 

About a week later, one week of pure anxiety and agony due to your pregnancy, also the job application and not hearing even one word from them, Simon calls to let you know that you will be working as his assistant, starting this Monday.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Why Did You Reincarnate as a Woman?

For this Pick-A-Pile, I am going to continue with my Women’s History Month series, where I uplift, inspire and/or relate to women on this platform. This reading is a bit of a life path reading and a past life reading but it’s more general. So take whatever resonates and leave what doesn’t. Without further ado, please pick a pile!

Left-to-Right (1-3):

Pile 1: If you chose this pile, this is definitely for my girls who like to move around. I think that you’re someone who was meant to be rich, you definitely have expensive taste. In a past life, I think that you were into the esoteric world and into the arts. You dibbled and dabbled in a little bit of this and that. But I don’t think that you were able to find stability in your past life. But you had a clear vision for yourself. So this time, you’ve reincarnated as a woman to gain financial stability and independence from the debts of your past life. In past lives, you could have been non-committal or always wanting to rush into things. And as a result, you reincarnated without ever having a satisfied spirit. As women, we are expected to be the nurturers and sidekicks to men. But you, Pile One, are definitely the main character. You’re a free spirit and a force to be reckoned with. You follow the beat of your own drum. But remember that the goal is to feel happy with where you already are. Your spirit has a lot of fire but don’t burn it out trying to be everywhere all at once. You were born to be the non-comformist and that’s okay.

Signs: Gemini, Taurus, Leo, Sagittarius.

Cards Used: 7 of Cups, 5 of Wands, Queen of Discs, 9 of Discs, 2 of Discs, Ace of Discs, The High Priestess, The Hierophant, 3 of Swords, The Star, 4 of Discs, The World, 8 of Wands and Justice.

extras: beyhive. saweetie. white nails. green eyes. born with heart issues. short-term career path. life path number five. pirates. bohemian style. theatre kid. paint. big city girl.

Pile Two: If you chose this pile, you’re definitely someone who is described as a pure spirit. What’s funny is I channeled those Snapped interviews of people saying their friend was “the light in a dark room”. You have the tendency to make friends easily. You’re very introverted. That’s how it’s supposed to be. In a past life, you could have suffered from depression; perhaps you were in a mental hospital. You were burdened with a reputation that wasn’t true to your character. You were an outcast. Maybe you could predict death & people despised you for it. I think you felt unloved and misunderstood. This life is supposed to be a clean slate for you, Pile Two. I think that there was a lot of gossip about you. But this time, you carried over the scars from being a target of gossip. Maybe you feel like you don’t really have any friends. Maybe you have a weird relationship with trust & you end up trusting the wrong people/none at all. Maybe you keep people at an arms length but you’re still a friend to all. I think that you reincarnated as a woman to reclaim your power and the right to be here on this Earth. You make the world go round, Pile Two. Don’t forget that. Never feel guilty for having fun.

Cards Used: Justice, The Chariot, Knight of Wands, Page of Cups, 3 of Cups, 3 of Discs, King of Wands, 10 of Wands, Queen of Swords, The Magician, Ace of Swords, 9 of Cups, Ace of Cups (RX), Ten of Swords, The High Priestess, 7 of Cups, Queen of Cups and The World (RX).

Signs: Sagittarius, Scorpio, Aquarius, Libra.

extras: nurse. break my soul. ellie goulding. codependency. microsoft. computer geek. smiley emoji. venusian. dmv. pills. fasting. making friends with outcasts. working with autistic children/elderly people.

Pile Three: If you chose this pile, you’re probably a person who struggles with their faith. This doesn’t come from nowhere & it’s not new to you. It’s in fact true to you. Today, you’re described as someone who is rebellious or maybe even lazy, but somehow you never complain about your circumstances. You’re like Trish De La Rosa. You keep a job! But in a past life, you were like a moody teenager. You never really saw the good in things. You were very negative. You held grudges and shunned people if they pissed you off. You could have been a gang member or you were an advocate for civil rights. Either way, your mindset was very black-and-white, no in between. As a result, I feel like you can struggle with following the rules today. I also feel like you have the tendency to be anti-religion/anti-Christianity, which is the basis as to why you struggle with your faith. Someone could have told you that you had “loose” ways as a child and this lit a fire under your ass. Misogyny in the church, but also in general is a reason why you have this fighter spirit. You have a fighter spirit, Pile Three. You’re here as a woman to take back what’s yours. You’re here to help other women realize their worth, reclaim their sexuality and transmute their pain into something beautiful, Pile Three and you will do it successfully.

Cards Used: Nine of Swords, The Star, The Emperor, Ace of Wands (RX), Ten of Swords (RX), Two of Discs, Eight of Cups, Queen of Cups, The Sun (RX), 4 of Discs, The World, 4 of Cups, Justice (RX), 8 of Swords, The Lovers (RX), The Hierophant, Princess of Swords.

Signs: Scorpio, Aries, Capricorn, Pisces.

extras: detention. good luck charlie. rapper. obsessed with cats. megan thee stallion. enough (2002). independent women. scarlet red. queer rights activist.

[kakiastro]

2024: The Year of the Dragon

Well, we made yall! This was a 7 ruled year, ruled by the Moon, Neptune, and South Node. This year had us all deep in our feelings. So many people had their first spiritual awakening, others psychic gifts has strengthened. This year was teaching us on how to listen to our intuition. If you’re a creative, then this year was really the year ideas and projects came to you. With the moon here, so many people started their own families, so many woman in my personal life had babies this year lol. Our family dynamics changed, our homes may have changed. Lots of early life/past lives issues smacked us in the face this year, a lot of people started their healing journey.

This year is an 8 ruled year.

8 rules over the spiritual and materialistic world. 8 is balance, it means you need to balance being in our world and the spiritual.

8 is also an infinity symbol, hence why is it’s a loop. What loops(patterns)have you been stuck in? This year will show you that and what loops you need to get out of

8 also have a deep love for humanity, so I personally expect more protest against wars, those who are really suffering in our world. There’s going to be a strong empathy pull. Make no mistake though, the number 8 also rules over authority, social status, ego, inner strength and wisdom. While there’s a lot of love, there’s going to lots of people having unchecked egos so be careful of that. Listening to others opinions(whether you agree or not) will be a collective lesson.

The number 8 is ruled by Saturn and Capricorn. This is a Saturnian year. So to my fellow Saturnians/Capricorn placements/10h, we are the first in line the classroom (earth) this year lol.

Saturn is in Pisces, so fellow Caps, and everyone really, I feel we are going to continue being in our feelings and will begin to open our hearts to others. Capricorn is a reserved sign, doesn’t really show outward emotions, they would rather cry in private or in the shower😅. Not this year LoL, this year is teaching us that it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to be open about it as well. We will meet people who will show us the magical side of life. Saturn is a realism and pessimistic sign, but Pisces is the sign of hope, magic and fantasy. Remember, Pisces is also co ruled by Jupiter which is currently in Taurus. What is success to you? Is this success to you because this is what you were taught or is this what you really want? These are the type of questions you will be asking yourself.

8 is the number for Karma as well. Karma isn’t what many people think it is lol. Karma isn’t just some revenge type of thing lol. Also, Karma isn’t always bad either so get that out your mindset as well. Bad things happen to good people all the time, you being a good person doesn’t exempt you of messed up situations. If anything, it’s to make you become more empathetic and self aware of the bad things. Karma can be good as well

The etymology of karma is from the Sanskrit meaning “Action, Effect, Fate”

Karma is what you do that will cause a ripple/effect that can change your fate.

Example:

1. You get into a relationship and everything is going great for a year. Then you discovered your partner cheated. Your hurt and say “karma will get him and I can’t wait to watch.”

2. Months go by and you see your cheater ex is in a new relationship, treating this new partner better than you. You start thinking “karmas not real because if it was, why are they living the good life?” Meanwhile, you’re still picking up the pieces to heal but you’re healing is the key word.

3. Little do you know, your ex had cheated on you with someone who’s only using them and they end up getting cheated on. It wasn’t because of you, know they created that ripple for themselves. They let there ego and lust dictate there actions. If they would’ve had any control, they would’ve known not to do this so the Universe/God let the domino fall. They may end struggling with their career, health, spiritually to teach them to grow and learn. Now will they? That’s up to them. Just because someone appears to be doing well from the outside doesn’t mean that they really are or going to be.

4. You’ve done your healing and now know what you want and the red flags to look out for. You end up in an actual healthy relationship. A friend of yours suspects her partner of cheating and asked for your advice. Because you went through this, you know the signs. Because of this, you helped her. See that domino effect lol

That was long but I hope that makes sense you all! I have a mercury Rx in my chart so my thoughts go everywhere lol.

One of the first biggest events of 2024 is that Pluto enters Aquarius

Dates: January 20th - September 1st

Then: it will go back in Capricorn for the last time in our lifetime in September 1- November 20th.

Finally: it will go into Aquarius November 20th, where it will stay unto 2043. Y’all this is a 20 year transit!! So many changes are about to happen

I’ve already made a post about this transit, you can read it here!

2024 is the year of the dragon, in the element Wood.

Dragons are seen as honorable, strength, success

Wood represents vitality and creativity

-this is good year to pursue your goals and if you’re consistent, you will achieve success.

Eclipses

First Lunar eclipse will be on March 25th.

It will be in the sign of Libra! Which is where South Node currently is as well. Relationships with our family and within our home will be highlighted. The house that Libra rules in your chart will tell you how this will

First Solar eclipse will be on April 8th

It will be in the sign of Aries with NN being in it. Setting new goals for yourself, starting something new in your life, be bold and brave.

2nd Lunar eclipse is in Pisces on September 17th. Hello feelings lol! Pisces will have us sit alone and think about our most hidden thoughts and they will be highlighted. This is a good time for spiritual growth.

2nd Solar eclipse is in Libra on October 2nd. Relationships will be the hot topic for 2024. I predict so many people are going to be breaking up, finding love, having new friendships, family relationships are going to be changing, collaborating with people, justice, fairness will all be themes

Mercury Retrogrades will be in fire signs this year

First Mercury Rx is in Aries on April 1st-25th. Thinking and planning your goals, making sure everything is in order.

2nd Rx is August 4th-28th in the sign of Virgo and Leo. It’s giving say it with your chest energy but not too much lol. Be brave with your thoughts but try to think rationally as well.

3rd Rx is November 25th in Sagittarius. Time for us to reflect on our ideals that we’ve learned. Look at different philosophies point of view

Another big Astrological event is the Jupiter-Uranus in Taurus conjunction on April 20th.

Jupiter is the planet if expansion, higher learning, traveling and religion

Uranus is the planet of change, science of medicine, innovation and rebellion.

Taurus is the 2nd sign of the zodiac and it rules over our finances, self worth, our possessions, food, beauty, nature such as forest and trees.

What do I predict with this transit:

-huge breakthroughs with regarding medicines and innovative discoveries

-something dealing with travel or immigration

-I suspect some type if change regarding the church or how people view the church (pastors, priest etc)

-something dealing with our food and us being more aware about our own dietary choices. What’s not good for us and what goes in our food basically

On May 25th, Jupiter leaves Taurus and enters airy sign Gemini. It will be in Gemini until 2025

The best way to describe this transit is communication!!! Remember Jupiter expands everything so we will be more open about our thoughts and standing on business on what we say! I feel there’s going to be a huge influx on the dire need to want to go back to school and learn new things. Big cars are going to the thing everyone will want to have! If you’re a writer, this can be a good year to write that book and get it published, all the way up until 2025 at least.

Mars Go Rx December 6th- February 23rd 2025, in the sign of Cancer and Leo!

This is poignant because Mars only go retrograde every 2 years! The last Rx was 2021-2022 ish and it was in Gemini

With it switching from water and fire, emotions will be be high. Really check your emotions during this time, this can be a good time to sort your home out, being motivated to start something like a creative outlet.

As you all can see, this is going to be an eventful year but I’m wishing you all happy and memorable one! To those who’ve been following me this year, I just want to say thank you! thank you! thank you!

With love and gratitude

-kaki

[ryanguzmansource]

Full Audio Transcript (5.21.24)

Hey guys, welcome to I've Never Said This Before with me, Tommy Didario.

If you are not watching 9-1-1 on ABC, you are seriously missing out. The show is so phenomenal that it has been renewed for an eighth season and, my guest today—well, he is phenomenal as well. In fact, he is on my show because of you. I saw all of the tweets, the DMs, the emails—all of it so, like a genie in a bottle, your wish has been granted.

The talented actor Ryan Guzman stars in the smash hit firefighter drama series 9-1-1 and audiences fell in love with his character, Eddie, the moment he debuted in Episode 1 of Season 2. Man, he has become a staple on the show and fans have been rooting for Eddie throughout the years, and Ryan plays each moment of Eddie's journey with such care and vulnerability and truth.

We have a lot to cover today and I have a feeling you're going to really enjoy this fun but also personal and deep conversation. We do dive into some very serious mental health conversations, so after the interview, I will be providing resources for anyone struggling with their own mental health. This is one of the most powerful interviews I have ever done, and I really thank Ryan for opening up in the ways that he did today because I know that he is going to help so many people out there feel less alone.

So, let's see if we can get Ryan to say something he has never said before.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Ryan, my friend, how are you doing today?

I'm good, brother. How are you?

I'm good. I know you have been working your butt off. You were just saying you were filming all night. Are you exhausted or are you on adrenaline right now?

A little mixture of both. I got a little coffee pumped through my system. But yeah, I think I worked six out of seven days this last week. We've been doing around 14, 15 hour days. And I just got off last night around 1.30 in the morning. So got home around 2.30. But we're here. We're here.

Well, you were putting in the work. Congratulations to you on all of the success with this show. It's of course now on ABC. People are loving it. The numbers are going insane. And you've always been a fan favorite from day one. When you had that first scene of you putting that shirt on in slow motion and your body was glistening and Whatta Man was playing, people just fell in love with your character. But that's not just why they love your character. I mean, over the seasons, people have found you so relatable and and really, really are truly invested in the role that you play. Why do you think that is?

I like to say that, I mean, I try to play as grounded as I can, but I think the story itself is just the way Tim Minear writes the character. And I think he's always had a special connection with this kind of character. So, just indebted to how he writes and the connectivity between Eddie and his son. I mean, it's just like it pulls at the heartstrings, you know, and that's always been a fan favorite as well. So, you know, I'm living in gratitude for everything that's been written for that character and I try to do as much justice as I can.

Well, you're nearing the end of Season 7 and past seasons for you have been a bit heavier, a bit more intense. You've really gone through quite a lot of things that we'll touch on a bit later, which I know is also part of the reason why so many people relate to you. Are you enjoying this journey this season?

Yeah, you know what? I haven't really been able to kind of flex my humorous side and just kind of lightheartedness, kind of a vibe about Eddie, and I love that aspect of him. So while everybody else is kind of going through chaos, while Cap is going through chaos, Eddie is kind of, you know, trying to keep everybody together while, you know, Chimney and Hen be going at it during the tsunami and The Poseidon Adventure, Eddie is just, you know, being there for everybody as much as he can. So not to say that he's always going to be happy because Tim always has this thing about saying, you know, if I just let you guys be happy, then there'd be no story. You got to have some kind of drama. Nobody wants to show up just for people smiling all the time. But yeah, we've got some things in store for the rest of the season. And from what we've already shot, I've been super pleased about, you know, this new way of life for Eddie.

Like I said, the things you've gone through are intense throughout the years. Do you have any fear stepping into this role or any anxiety before you had to film some of those more intense scenes? Because it's a lot.

Yeah, you know what? Prior to 9-1-1, I might have had some fears about the depth of a lot of the things that we shot. I honestly didn't really call myself an actor until like maybe three and a half years ago.

No.

Yeah. I thought I was just fooling everybody, trying to get jobs and land the movies that I was getting. And then I think somewhere around the third season, a co-star of mine kind of, like, metaphorically slapped me in the face and said, you know, let's really get into this, man. You got some really good opportunity here. So that's when I started calling myself an actor. But to be honest, the depth of Eddie in the past three, four seasons has been amazing as just a class. It's been class for me. It's been an opportunity to flex these emotions that I don't get to flex in my day-to-day life and to access certain things and see how far can I push Eddie, how, you know, in the scene where Eddie is just losing his stuff and he's breaking everything in his house. Obviously, I've never done it in my house, but how do I get there? How can I allow the audience to feel what I'm feeling? And that task itself becomes a challenge. And I really [like] that type of challenge. So again, living in gratitude for all the little things that Eddie presents that, you know, I haven't really been presenting my own life.

So with that being said, is there a storyline that's particularly special to you for any given reason?

I kind of lean automatically towards the military/PTSD just because I have a cousin who served six tours and, you know, he shared with me—and I actually, oddly enough, during the episode of Eddie Begins, I brought him on as a military tech and he helped out everybody in the production. His name is Randy Hudson. I, you know, I love that guy to death—but, yeah, he's shared with me a lot of his issues that he's gone through and a lot of the obstacles he's gone through in his day to day life and what it's like to be a military vet coming back and kind of assimilating back into civilian lifestyle. So that storyline always kind of held a special place in my heart just because it was very close connected with me and my own family. And I always hope that, you know, I did it justice enough for everybody that has that story ingrained in them.

I think you definitely did. I saw a lot of comments when I announced you as my guest saying that that was a very meaningful part of your journey on this show. I'm so curious, you know, quite often in television it moves so fast, there's always rewrites or so much going on. Was there ever a story that you wanted to come to fruition that never did?

I hated the fact that we killed off Shannon so quick. I know she wasn't a very likable character for so many different reasons, but I always loved working with Devin. So I would love to explore a little bit more with that. But yeah, there's always beauty and chaos a little bit. So I would have loved the relationship, mother, father, parenting style aspect of Eddie's life to be a more explored, but unfortunately that can't happen anymore.

There's always so many things going on. I'm sure it's hard to fit them into each episode, and I'm sure things do have to get cut because major things keep happening episode after episode, one of them being recently, of course, Buck realized he's Bi and that's a storyline everyone's going crazy over. Did you see that coming? Were you like, I think one day this is going to happen for him?

Well, I mean, it's always kind of been in the ether. Everybody, you know, all the fans, you know, have their speculations about Eddie and Buck and, you know, for the longest time, I think Oliver and I again had lightheartedness to it. We always kind of like saw it as like, oh, at least they're so interested in our characters. Thank God they're interested in our characters. They're not ignoring us, and I don't know if either of us had a pinpoint, you know, idea on which character or if any character would actually lead in that way.

But again, all credit to Tim Minear. He's the one that knows the way. So he chose Buck's character to explore that route. And now seeing it happen in front of our eyes, it makes so much sense. And it just the way him, Buck and Tommy are getting together and the way they're exploring their own individuality and personality. It's beautiful to watch. I was very excited to see, you know, that episode specifically, just for the fact that it was such a moment between, you know, a friend and another friend who had held this huge secret. And how do you come out to your friend?

I had a friend, you know—because I know I've had this actually in my own personal life. I've said this in prior interviews—I had a friend who was deadly scared of coming out to me. And I realized that that moment itself wasn't so much the journey for me, you know, it was this hard journey for himself. And all I had to do was catch. I just had to be there for him, and I was like, that moment itself is so beautiful. I can't wait to do that scene. I can't wait to, you know, show the world like this is how you be there for your brother.

Wow, how cool that you could pull from your real life experience and make that scene even more special, which is why I think it came off so incredibly powerful. It really was so cool to see. And the reception has been absolutely incredible in terms of people feeling like, you know, they're seen through that character and it's on prime-time TV. And you don't see a ton of that, which is still kind of crazy. But, you know, and of course, there were some negative comments, which blows my mind. I mean, I'm sure that blew your mind, too, to see that because who cares, right?

Honestly, I've got this now filter for negative comments. They just kind of seep right through and I don't even hold on to anything. So all I've seen is really, really good comments.

And one of the best parts is actually I've gone to work and Oliver himself has been like telling me these stories of people saying, man, I did not have the strength to come out until way later on in my life. So I'm like, oh man, could you imagine 20, 30 years of holding on to this repressed thing and then it just eating away at you and not being able to say anything, even to the closest people and then seeing something on television to inspire you. That kind of thing is just like, whoa, okay, we're doing something much greater, much bigger than us.

He's not the only one inspiring its characters like you because you're showing, you know, what an ally means, and I think that's really cool to see this like macho, cool guy that's just like, cool, like who cares? And that's also equally as powerful and as important. Before we put a pin on this, you know, part of the conversation, you mentioned you never know what the writers are going to do, and I think there were talks at one point of possibly Eddie being the one to come out in some sort of way. Do you laugh and have fun with all of the fandom's obsession with you as Eddie and Buck getting together? Like, is that something you guys always are seeing and hearing? And I know everyone brings it up to you and it's something that's always looming. Like, how do you react to that? Does it ever get tiring for you?

Again, if the fans are interested, we're doing our job. So I love the love. And I mean, unfortunately, I'm not the one that writes it. So it's all up to Tim. But me and Oliver have a really good time with the fact that, you know, people are so invested into these storylines. And in fact, they're so invested, they're creating their own storylines. They're sending us clips and edits and videos. And, you know, every now and then, Oliver will show me something, I'll show Oliver something. Like, did we actually do this in a scene? Because they cut it so well together.

Yeah.

So, yeah, I think at the end of the day, you know, we just love the love. We're here to entertain and tell the truth. If it's true to the character, then yeah.”

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

You can't predict the future. Nobody can on this show. But if the opportunity one day happened to come your way where they were like, this storyline might be explored between Buck and Eddie, would you be open to that storyline in the future? I see you smiling. I see Oliver had the same reaction, a big ass grin on his face when I asked this.

Yeah, you know, like I said, it's got to live in the truth and I think right now we live in a moment—or me, I live moment to moment—so I love the fact that the biggest plot point between these two characters is one happens to be Bi, one happens to be Hetero, and they have this vulnerability towards each other. And that is the truth to me is it's the fact that you have such a safe space and it doesn't matter your sexuality, that you have a safe space to talk to this individual and he can fully accept you. If we can stay with that, then whatever happens, happens.

But I don't necessarily want to push the fact that because you're vulnerable, you have to be one way or the other in your sexuality. Then I would hate to have a lot of other men who are struggling mentally and not sure about, oh, do I even open up? Because will that make me something that I'm not? I would hate to push that narrative. So if we live in the truth, whatever happens, happens. And again, I'm here for it all.

Whatever happens, happens. That's a nice way to put it. And I agree with you. I think there's power in both. I think there's power in showing a strong friendship that you don't always get to see. And then there's power if something eventually does happen. So whatever happens, happens. I like that, man. What can we expect for the rest of the season with your characters? Anything you can tease? The finale is coming up. We have a couple more weeks. What can we expect?

What can we expect? Well, we can expect that Eddie's smiles might turn to frowns.

Oh no.

Or at least confusion, maybe. We'll start to see, you know, has he gotten past certain traumas? Or is he just kind of pushed them to the side and acting like they're not there?

You know, I have to say a lot of people are still holding on to hope that we're going to get that karaoke scene.

I mean, yeah, we had such a good time playing that karaoke scene, and it was kind of a let down a little bit to know that it wasn't going to be in there. But now, again, looking at the episode itself, as fun as it would be, the main story was Chimney. And the way Kenneth Choi played Chimney, and that episode specifically—I mean, I think he got, you know, performance of the week for that—it would have been a disservice to add, you know, a three-minute scene of us laughing and having a great time and being drunks and karaoke and take away from that performance. So I'm glad that Tim made that decision, and I don't know if he has any plans on showing that later on or whatnot or having some extended clip version, but I can tell you this much, everybody from the cast to the crew to the background had a wild and crazy time doing that scene.

And I think what I just heard you say is you might accidentally drop it on your Instagram very soon.

I might get fired if I do that.

All right. Well, we'll see. I'll talk to ABC PR. No problem. What do you want to see for season eight? Like, are you thinking about the future? Is there like, OK, if I can have my way, I absolutely want to explore blank.

To be honest, there's so much going at us so rapid, so fast paced at this moment. The scripts are getting handed in like quick as can be. So we have a moment's notice to kind of know what we're doing and where we're going with our character. From what I know, from what I've shot thus far, I think next season will literally be a refresh button to Eddie. And starting over in so many different ways, so many new ways in which Eddie has never explored and we've never seen Eddie explore. He'll be on his own in a lot of areas.

Speaking of that, I have to bring up season five, the mental health breakdown, man. That was intense. And a lot of people felt very connected to that. How was it stepping into that scene for you and that storyline? Because it's pretty powerful.

Thank you. Man, that was cathartic, to be honest. It was I've gone through my own mental health issues as far as like, you know, my own depression and anxiety, and, you know, I was raised in an age where men aren't vulnerable and aren't allowed to show feelings. So that kind of repression is like a ticking time bomb, you know, especially for a person in Eddie's life, or his lifestyle. So to kind of relinquish this boundary of who Ryan is and step into Eddie and just kind of just full-on dive deep into these this well of emotion, it was, it was almost like therapy. It was crazy because, you know, from the second they started to say rolling, it's like my—I started to, you know, start bawling and crying, and when Buck comes in and, you know, he's trying to check in on me and the whole room is just all scattered around and I'm losing it—it's just like there was no semblance of Ryan anymore. It was just all Eddie and he was just lost, and that's what it is.

It's like if I were to look at my son, you know, five year old son, that's kind of what we revert back to is just this child that is just so scared and not having any sense of direction and—or hope that anybody will ever love him or ever see him. And it's just these like, you know, existential fears that come out within those tears, and that was my goal to portray that whole scene and then the scene following it. So to get there was just let go, just let go.

Well, the work you did was clearly honest and raw and vulnerable. You can't fake the work that you did in that. And it was really a powerful man for many people to kind of go through that with you and for people who have had their own experiences. And you're right, like, I'm from an old school Italian family. And, you know, you grow up thinking men don't go through that and men don't show those emotions. So to have that on prime-time TV is huge.

Yeah, I hope that helped out a lot of people. I hope that people were actually able to see that and at least, you know, go to their best guy friend, and, you know, I think that's what really needs to happen. As far as men, we need to lean on each other. You know, women have their own issues and they have their certain way of connecting with each other, but there's a special connection that you can have with your brother. And I give so much credit to quite a few of my personal brothers—including my actual brother—for allowing me to run to them in my moments of need, in my moments of feeling lost. And them, you know, being men themselves, not having to say one thing to me.

Or they can just, you know, if they see me in a moment of, you know, deep into a problem, they have the ability to say, well, here's a solution. And since I'm, you know, of like mind, I can be like, okay, you know what? Thank you for giving me some kind of direction. So yeah, I implore all men out there to kind of at least have one or two in your corner, you know, because we can't get anywhere without community.

Absolutely. What have you most learned about yourself through playing this character for so many years? You know, you joined in season two. It's been a lot of years now under your belt. Have you thought about that? Have you learned anything through playing, Eddie?

I've learned a lot through Eddie. I've learned patience. He's a—you know, he has a sense of patience that I didn't have in the beginning even prior to being a father, you know, and then kids itself, they teach you how to be patient. So, yeah, I've learned how to be there as a father. Kind of oddly enough, it was just living as one onscreen prior to actually being one in real life, it gave me, say, practice. I get to practice on television what I get to implore with my own children. And, you know, even if it's the worst thing for Eddie, you know, and I see him doing something horrible, at least I come back home, like, well, that can't happen. I can't do that with my kids. So, yeah, and in so many ways, it's helped me grow as a man, let alone a father.

That's pretty awesome when you can take things away from your job like that and become a better person. I love that so much. Can you believe you've been on the show for so long now? Do you ever think like, damn, that's not normal. That's the rarity in the business. So is that a cool feeling for you?

Yeah, I literally just had that moment yesterday. We were filming a scene, all of us, the whole cast, and I'm sitting outside—I can't tell you the location, that's going to blow something—I'm sitting outside one of the sets and I just had that moment to myself. I'm like, oh my God, I'm actually here. How did I get so lucky to be on not only just a television show, the number one television show out there, where we're in our seventh season and we're creating numbers that people don't even get in their first season? So again, if there's a moment to tap into, let's get into that gratitude again and just be super thankful that I was lucky enough to land this.

[COMMERCIAL BREAK]

That is so cool, and that's why I have no doubt you'll continue having so much success in your career and in your personal life because you keep bringing up gratitude, and it's very evident that's something you lead your life with. And in fact, I saw a recent Instagram post where you give a beautiful tribute to Twitch, and you credit him with being able to form connection with people in your life now and to different things and places, and I thought that was such a beautiful way to show people that you're working on yourself and you're a work in progress and that he helps you kind of open your eyes. So that was a really cool moment for you to also reveal.

Thank you, yeah. Yeah, I believe so much of the world right now is showcasing a polished version of themselves. And to be honest, I did it myself for so long that I've become tired of it, and I would much rather get to the raw—the raw, the unfiltered, the, you know, the mess ups, the, you know—I've stuck my foot in my mouth too many times. I've done, you know, stupid things in my life, and I never want to present myself as a person that does everything great because there's so many things I suck at.

So I think there's an opportunity within that rawness to invite others to become raw themselves, and for us to see that, you know, we're not competing with each other, we're competing with ourself and our own image of ourself and friends like, you know, a brother like, like Twitch, you know, and—not understanding what he was going through and that lack of connectivity that I always, you know, felt but never acted on, which again, I felt imposter syndrome for so long of calling him my brother. It really struck a chord in me and now I can't go backwards. Now I'm propelled forward to be like, is this conversation authentic between us or are we just kind of saying what we have to say just so we can pass on to the next person and create whatever that is? And I'm not here for that. I would much rather have that depth and I'd much rather have that rawness.

Beautifully said and a perfect segue into what I want to finish this conversation with, which is based off the title of the show: I've Never Said This Before. So I'm wondering, is there anything that comes to mind that you want to share today that you've never shared before?

Uh. Huh. Yeah, you know what? I've been thinking about this for so long and there's so many things, you know, that come to mind. One specifically, and I've been hesitant to actually say any of this for so long because, you know, it's been years upon years.

About six and a half, seven years ago—and I've really never said this out loud, especially onto a public platform—I had my own mental health crisis and I tried at one point in time to take my own life. And luckily, it didn't work. Luckily, I got a second chance by the grace of God. And from that moment forward, I've taken each step as an opportunity to erase what got me there and build on what allowed me to live forward. So I would say that that moment itself, in addition to what happened to my brother Twitch, are probably the two biggest fundamental moments of my entire life and have allowed me to have a deeper sense of mercy and empathy towards every individual.

So I would implore that all men renounce this fact of, you know, you're a tough man, you have to hold all this in, but lean on your brother, really lean on your brother. And if your brothers aren't being there in the way they need to be, find some new ones. Because that's another thing, if you don't have the people that are conducive to a healthy lifestyle and you're keeping on to them because of loyalty, let them go. There's plenty of other people. There's people that have been through your situation before that are willing and more than willing, you know, to help. So yeah, that was a big one.

Man, first of all, thank you for sharing something so personal and close to your heart with me today. I feel honored that you did open up and share that. And I'm truly—God, this could be another half hour conversation, so I'll keep it short—but I'm truly grateful that you are spreading that message today for anybody listening because, you know, mental health is a crisis and I think people sometimes look at you, they look at me, they think everything's perfect. We are, you know, in this public space and what can be wrong?

And when you humanize real shit like that, it makes people feel less alone. And you got through it, you realize that wasn't the right way to go about it and your life forever changed for the better, and I'm truly grateful that you put that message out today because you have no idea how many people you're going to be helping with that. And I truly know that that's something that's not easy to get off your chest. And for that, I thank you and I know so many people will be thanking you, and I hope you feel kind of like a little bit of a weight lifted that you share that hopefully.

Yeah, it's kind of hard to understand what I'm feeling at the moment. But I hope in what you said is true. And I hope that, again, I would love to do more for mental health, especially for men, I mean, just in general, to be honest. But yes, I hope that there is a new wave out there that's kind of taking over that we can actually have some cohesiveness and connection, a true understanding of what connection is. Let's revisit that. So this issue isn't a common issue anymore. If we can take that down, then let's do it. I'm here for it.

Beautifully said, and thank you again for sharing that. I could talk to you for hours, especially leaving with that. I think you're such a cool person. And you watch people, I get to talk to people all the time. But this to me was a real conversation, and that's what I value. That's why I have a show called I've Never Said This Before, and I want to talk about the projects that the fans love, but also leave room to talk about things that matter. I don't think there's enough of that. So I truly thank you for hanging out, for coming on, for talking about the fun of 911, which we all love, and it's killing it in every way, but also sharing a little piece of you. I hope you enjoyed the conversation as much as I have.

Thanks for having me, my man. Yeah, I had a great time.

Thank you, and remind everyone where, how, when, all the things about your show.

Yes, please watch Thursdays at 8 on ABC.

All right, and stay tuned for the karaoke scene that you just promised you will be dropping.

Yeah, maybe when I'm fired again.

All right, man, until we meet again, take care.

All right, brother.

[slow-burn-sally]

Can I talk about Dyscalculia for a second? It's basically a math disability. It just means you struggle with doing math to varying degrees.

All my life I've fought very hard to do simple addition and subtraction. I have to add numbers together on my fingers, because I can't remember what 7 + 8 or 6 + 5 actually is, no matter how many times I add it up. I can't do simple subtraction either.

I'm OK with knowing that even numbers can jump in sets of two, so if you say "she was twenty years older than him" and she's 60, I can tell you that he's 40 without breaking out into a cold sweat, but that's as complex as it gets.

I do not remember times tables past X 2 or sometimes X 3. Like to this day, as a 47 year old woman, I don't know what 8 X 4 is. I have to start at what I *do* know, that 8 X 3 is 24 (I think it is anyway), and count upwards to the next 8.

I spend a lot of time counting on my fingers and using a calculator. It's fine. As disabilities go, at least calculators exist. It just added to my general feelings of "I'm broken" over the years, and so I can't say it hasn't defined a lot of my life and feelings of self worth.

[verysium]

『02』 出発: departure

ft. rin itoshi, sae itoshi

summary: a star's life is its counteraction against death, an endless deadlock against the brute force of gravity. in the constant struggle between space and time, rin cannot tell if he is being held up or held down. perhaps he has already dictated the terms of his own demise. cw: epistolary montage, mentions of blood in film, rin violently crying and throwing up, highly implied hallucinations, swearing, suicidal ideation, disillusionment and lots of hard angst. word count: 4.9k

previous || series masterlist || next

Two weeks after Sae took off from Haneda Airport, his words still lingered inside Rin's mind. His brother had left with a fiery flick of a grin—a gaping, white-hot maw right where his mouth should have been. It blazed then sputtered cold in his gums by the time he turned back around, but Rin still knew what he saw. The smoke never lied.

A triple tap of tongue against hard palate, the message moving fast as light. Something had flickered between Sae’s teeth. Something about split knuckles and brotherly love. Something about calling him back.

But Rin couldn’t hear over the boarding announcements, the roar of engines propelling out of the runway, the heat waves of people out in front. At half past noon, his brother had already departed from Tokyo, ten thousand miles westbound in a floating aluminum dream, reeling contrails through the sky. 

And Rin still stood on Earth, waiting. Like some dumb thing left behind.

It wasn’t until his mother laid a gentle hand on his shoulder that he finally tumbled back to reality, an empty gate at his feet, no arrival or departure calling. The afternoon sunlight had grown dim, splintering against the glass windows and whirring the blood through his ears. His chest felt strangely suspended.

It was in the backseat where it all began. Three floors down in the parking garage. Fumbling through his pockets, his coat had snagged between the door and car frame, ten digits on a crumpled paper sent fluttering to the ground. Looking back on it now, he should’ve thrown that damn thing away. But he was stupid then, drunk on a heat stroke and the beginnings of terminal grief. Right on the exit of the Shuto Expressway, he made his parents turn the car back around and drive ten miles down to the nearest World Mobile, a wretched inhale of hope stuck squirming in his chest. 

It took him several weeks before he finally decided to punch in those numbers, and then another several weeks to call after that. His body shuddered, sweat-faced and suffocating, as he trailed sticky fingers down the waiting screen. The phone rang once then twice. Then rang on forever.

Nobody ever bothered to pick up.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

2013 年 6月 17日 Nii-chan, 

It still feels like you never left. And I say this with a miserable lack of sincerity because you did in fact leave just two weeks ago. Kaa-san still makes your bed. Square corners and all. Your duvet goes in the pile with the rest of my laundry. 

Just the other day, I think I saw your shadow. I was sunbathing on the roof when I felt something brush against my back. Does Spain have big shadows too? I hope so. A country with so much sun must leave those poor shades short and stunted. Maybe they’re just a little shy. Be nice to them, will you Nii-chan? Not everyone can shine as bright as you do.

I hope you’ll make friends soon. Write to me often. I want to know everything.

2013 年 7月 7日 Nii-chan,

How are you? I didn’t receive anything in my inbox, and I checked with Kaa-san twice. She said you didn’t text me, but there is no way such a thing could have happened. Perhaps old age has finally gotten to her, or maybe something’s just wrong with this phone. Either way, I should’ve asked her to buy me a newer model.

On second thought, if you don’t text me, I will be very upset. But it will be a childish sort of anger. You wouldn’t be very proud. You will be pleased to know, however, that I have grown a total of ten centimeters this summer, and my bones are looking very strong and wide. My shots have improved too, and I scored three goals today.

Otou-san took us out to dinner for Tanabata this weekend. He told me it is about time I became a man. I smiled and said I didn’t want to disappoint. But then he said ten and three quarters is no longer a youthful sort of age, and I suddenly felt a little mad about it. I don’t want to grow up without you. 

The festival was crowded as usual. I ate every selection of wagashi then chased it down with some of the sake Otou-san lent me from his cup. Pretty sure that was illegal, so I threw it all up on the way home. But then we all went and saw the tanzaku, so I guess something went right. I wrote down a wish, but I won’t tell you. Otherwise it won’t come true. I hung it up on the highest branch though, so that someday it might reach you. 

Tell me what you think. Text back soon.

2013 年 8月 31日 Nii-chan, 

I did not receive your reply from last time. I think this phone must still be broken. Perhaps you should check on your end. Even if it’s just a greeting, I will be content. Anything from you is fine, really.

I visited the beach again. It was peaceful until the wind blew hair in my face, and I went blind for almost fifteen minutes. I tried cutting it, but Kaa-san got mad at me. After your disaster five years ago, she said she’d never let her sons hold a pair of scissors ever again. Don’t tell her, but I laughed. Inside, you know?

Sometimes I still see the waves in my sleep. The ones at Koshigoe Beach. They cradle me, and suddenly it feels like my head is floating even though my body isn’t. You’d probably think I’m crazy. But lately dreams are the only way I can reach you. 

I do watch the news though. And I train hard. Very hard. I can pass like you now, though not nearly as good as your highlights on TV. Coach says I still need to learn. You always said the same thing. But I am nearly as tall as Otou-san now and twice as strong. That must count for something, right? I hope the guys overseas will like this new me. When I finally come over there, that is.

Make sure you aren’t training too hard. I don’t want you to overstrain yourself. And if you don’t like it there, promise me you won’t force yourself to stay. You’ll pack your bags and come home early. 

Promise me. Please. 

That you’ll come home to me.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

For the second time in his life, Rin finds himself on his knees, heaving up everything that has ever made him whole. The bathroom mourns with every dry retch of his throat, and suddenly he’s laughing into the porcelain, clutching at the sides in a mad form of desperation. His ribs shudder—tough in their hurt—yet nothing of substance ever lies between them. He’d smiled out his guts a long time ago. 

Is empty space still a space or just the photonegative of presence? 

Sometimes Rin feels like his body can never truly filled, but it can never be completely emptied either. No matter how much he regurgitates, there will always be more to come. The space inside him widens until it hangs on a threadlike line of limbo: so much to give yet so much to keep. It tugs at him—a crude form of baptism—pulling him up for air and then crashing his head beneath the waves again. 

Another harsh hurl reverberates across the bathroom tiles, this time accompanied by the loud smack of spit. He’s emptied out so much his bowels might just prolapse at any second, the boy inside him turned into some sort of liquid slop, sloshing back and forth in his ribcage. It’s all over the front of his shirt now, the stomach contents soaked for hours in bodily brine, the grief his body tries to hold. No amount of bleach is going to erase the stench.

Some days Rin just wants someone to cradle him like a child does a bird, gentle and afraid to hurt. He had a dream about this once, many moons ago. After wringing himself out to dry, he had gone to work, looping the washing line around his feet until it resembled some sort of upside down noose. Once the wind picked up, he let go of the string like a pendulum, watching his body sway in third person: up and down and up and down. In this reality, he was a creature of feathers and clothespins, his body molting in the breeze. So long as he swung back and forth in this state of suspension, he would remain in the middle, not tethered down enough to live but not free enough to die either. 

He’d simply exist. 

Some nights Rin still can’t sleep. His eyes lay limp in their sockets, two dead weights sinking into bone. He tried to pry them out with his fingers, but they only pressed deeper into his face, rigid and wax-cool to the touch. No matter what he does, Rin knows he will be too late. He can never reverse this decay—the post-mortem withering of his own heart. 

Just this afternoon, he died once again, his body slumped with the hollow weight of disappointment, his spirit sinking like a fault line into earth. He had been drying his hair in the locker room after practice, the friction of the towel’s loops causing small pinpricks of static to echo along his nape. The static had carried over hushed whispers, trailing along his scalp down to his ears. God, he hadn’t meant to overhear.

“Damn it, we’re really done for this season, huh? I’m telling you it’s the striker. We could’ve won this match if it weren’t for him.”

“I mean, if Itoshi were here, he would’ve destroyed their whole team by himself.”

“You mean the older one?”

“Of course I do. Who else did you think I was referring to? The younger one’s just been blessed up until now.”

“Without his brother, he’s just an ordinary guy.”

“Oi, Haruto, shut up! What if he hears?”

“Hear what? It’s not like it isn’t the truth!”

Rin still remembers how his surname burned on their lips, the tip of the tongue caught raw between teeth, the vowels seared into flesh. Itoshi was a burden coming apart at the seams, a title for something he could never possess. They were right and it left him smarting, reeling. He hadn’t laughed a day since Sae’s departure, but in that moment he wanted to shove his whole fist up his mouth and choke for the first time in five resentful months. The laugh had been a silent one, with tears on his waterline and a smile bruised onto his face. 

Ha.....ha.....hah.....

There comes a point in every boy’s life when he simply exists. Still young but no longer impressionable. Salt in the eyes. Salt in the mouth. Take it like a man. When he hawks back the knife, it must come out breathing and clean. Living but not dead. 

His teammates had every right to blame him. 

He can’t score goals like he used to. Can’t run and bleed. Can’t love like before. There’s nothing but shame waiting for him when the realization finally breaches the bathroom air and his teammates scramble off the benches, cleats stained with guilt. They saw his reflection in the mirror, weeping right above the communal sinks.

“R-rin! W-we didn’t know you were here.”

“Y-yeah! You didn’t hear much, did you?”

Rin had never hated his name more in that moment. They uttered it like a euphemism, hand over his stupid bullet-riddled heart, the blood too runny to salvage. It only hurt him more. So he did what he knew best. He clenched his fist, the nails fisted into the meat of his palm, eyes caught on a hardened edge. It didn’t matter if Haruto was his senior. He’d beat him within an inch of his life.

“So you call me Rin now? Wasn’t I just younger Itoshi to you earlier?”

“I didn’t....We didn’t mean...”

“Then what did you mean?”

Only the scurry of shoes answered—two scuff marks against the dirty floor, Haruto’s yelp in the distance. Rin was left all alone again, his thin shadow blown wide across the whitewashed walls of the locker room. 

“Damn coward,” he wanted to yell after him. “Run! Run and tell them how it’s not your fault!” 

But he was just talking to himself.

Is empty space still a space or just a pseudonym for absence?

He hadn't been thinking at the time. Within the liminal space of the abandoned shower stalls, he lent himself a moment of weakness. He let himself cry. The shower head was cold and dirtied, and he stood there for forty-five minutes, waiting to be filled with a warmth that never came. In the end, he let his tears mix with the brackish water, staring at the evidence of his failure before it swirled down the drain. 

He realized he must have been a mistake. There was no other explanation. The real Rin Itoshi was swapped at birth and replaced with someone else. Inside the four-walled confines of the shower stall, his imposter reared its head through the mist, long baby hair drowned down to the ears. He didn’t belong. Not in this body bathed in condensation. Not in this namesake crowned in tempered glass. But by the time the water trickled down to his nose, Rin was already knee-deep in self-doubt, wading his way into misery. What more did they want from him? No one could ever replace Sae Itoshi. Not even his younger brother. 

Not even him.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

Six hours post-death in the locker rooms, Rin went home and passed out with his head on the toilet seat, two slick fingers shoved up his throat and his luminous guts buried somewhere down the pipe drain. Six hours later, his lids peel back scarlet, gelatinous with haze—a ringing in his ears. Some fucker is calling him again. 

He doesn’t answer. Twice. But the telemarketer is either underpaid or rudely insistent, so Rin finally picks up just to curse him out on the line. He doesn’t need any scripted intimacy. Doesn’t need other people counting his own losses. He just needs to be left alone.

At midnight, he staggers out of the bathroom, fingers absentmindedly flicking off the lightswitch before collapsing into bed. The sheets aren’t even his own. He doesn’t notice until he sniffs the pillow and stiffens. It smells god-awful. Like tiger balm and soothing menthol. Like somebody he used to know. And much to his chagrin, the images come stumbling back: knee-deep in the salted sea, shirasu swimming around his toes. What color were his eyes again? Blue ice between teeth. Sour like a bad star. Oh, what can he remember? Disappointment peeled into spirals. Happiness running down the back of his hand. The blood of an orange, sweet and dripping. He’s forever staring at someone’s back. Always a few steps behind.

Fuck you, Sae.

There’s haunting laughter coming out from the window panes, and he can hear the waves crash on shore in the distance. Two children run across sand. Muted footsteps. One soft thump then another. The vision is so close he can practically taste it. Salt in the wind, in the eyes, in his mouth. The seagulls pluck at his eyes, but he takes it like a man, breathing and clean. Living but not dead.

One of the children stands with his arms behind his back, face hidden by the shadows of the horizon. The ocean spray nips at his burgundy fringe, the hunger of a whole world engulfed in his gaze. In the distance, a younger boy shouts his name, dark hair framed by a cowlick, turquoise eyes smoothed over by water. He runs as fast as his little legs can carry him, his arms filled with bone-white shells.

“Nii-chan, wait for me!”

Sae’s face blurs before he can turn around, and Rin is left staring at the wooden slats above his childhood bed, resenting something he can no longer remember. Why did people have to go and change? Three years later and his brother had gone straight from stealing seashells to swindling stars clean out of the sky. Three years and he still had nothing to show for himself.

He imagines the look on Sae’s face when he tells him this. Conversations over Sunday dinner. The family gathered round the kotatsu, piss-yellow light slicing every dish into halves. He spoons pickled radish and chokes Sae’s teacup till it breaks. Would it be disappointment he sees on his face? His brother’s features crumpled mid-smile, blue-green eyes wounded into a porcelain state. Why? Why haven’t you done anything with your life while I was gone? 

Or perhaps it was anger. Smoke on the lips, bruised fists, and the heat of his mother’s blazing scream. Her son bares teeth and scrapes every syllable of their surname clean. Wrestles her other son’s shoulders down to the ground and shakes until the boy—the real Rin—gurgles and sloshes up inside. Do something, Rin. Do something! Or else you’ll never make it this lifetime.

Both, he could live with. But not this. The silence that burrows into his mind while he sleeps. The constant calling and the phone that just rings and rings and rings. It’s a circle, some sick sort of cycle. Every night he dreams of war—of sights and slights and stars. Things that end then don’t end then never end. He dreams until he wakes up screaming, on his hands and knees begging. Say something, will you? Anything. Fuck, why won’t you just say something?

Three years later and his brother still can't love him in a way he understands. 

But what did he expect? Sae was like that: pale and blistering, beautiful even when burning. Last dream cycle, his brother fell down three stories and erupted into flames, limbs compacted into fine dust. Should’ve screamed but didn’t. By the time Rin got down to him, Sae was already on his feet, sputtering soot from his lungs then flaring back up like nothing had ever happened. As if his hurt was merely bursts of light gathering and bunching, violence in free fall. 

And he was beautiful, Rin thinks. A boy of the blaze, man in the making, hair aorta-red, staring right back at him. By the time Sae opened his mouth, Rin’s arms were already open, ready to embrace the glittering shards. He crumpled before him as a building does a god, set alight on his brother’s palm. Strike me. He begged, blood around his mouth. Strike me anywhere and set me free. 

But that’s not what happens when you die. Not when his brother said it best.

I think I’d die and become a star. 

So he holds onto this life. Bunches it between fingers and twines it around his fist until he knows the person he’s dying for. Until he’s blacked out and dreaming in that damnable backseat again. Experiencing everything in the third person—the news, the screen, the slow-motion reels of an astral body wound up in constant replay. He can only watch as his brother slowly becomes a stranger in his own life again, and it guts him every time.

Sae Itoshi Dominates at Junior Championships, Secures Victory with Hat-Trick. Future Star? Sae Itoshi’s Sensational Performance Stuns Fans and Scouts Alike.

Who the hell is Sae Itoshi? Man, celebrity, celestial body? Not even his brother knows. But what Rin has learned over these past few years is that all stars are really just dead people, housed in a mausoleum of glittery beginnings and explosive endings. It’s binary—circling, really. A blinking eye in the sky, ticking time bomb, crying corpse, then everything wailing before its implosion. Sae could never comprehend this. The smoke-sputtering reality beyond tangible substance. This form of dying. 

But dying isn’t even the worst part of it all. It’s people like him who suffer. Unlucky stars are cursed with another, forced to revolve around each other. If one collapses, the companion gets ejected out the deep end of space and time—stumbling, groping, searching. 

Three years later and he’s still searching. 

Hey Google: Can stars still be seen from Madrid? 

The results for light pollution pop up. In a city of light, even light cannot be seen. How ironic, he thinks, that Sae is now a shining thing, flaring tendrils a million light years away. Post-nebula and he still loses himself in people who look exactly like him.

But that past has already come and gone, leaving nothing but the future behind. In the next dream cycle, Rin too will die, sputtering and choking, like a firework lit from within—violence in free fall. And when the time comes, he will leap off the fire escape, the city blocks spinning and spinning, every second a little death. The faster he falls, the more alive he’ll feel. He’ll drop all the way down until the only way he can go is up. And then he’ll ascend, floating past the skyscrapers, the streets, the sprawling metropolis. His toes curled, caught on the hook of night, the burnt flesh peeling back on bone. Floating until he disappears, his body nothing but white light.

Someday his brother will drown himself in his own artificial brightness. And Rin will follow, screaming, rearing, and set ablaze.

If you die Nii-chan, I think I’ll die along with you.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

There are rare moments when seasons die a sunless death, quiet and wilting into the earth. Rin’s final birthday without Sae falls on one such month—a red September during which nature bleeds, the autumn leaves rusting around Engakuji Temple. He’s taken up long walks during that time, pacing for hours around the park nearby. Something about taking his mind off things. Something about counting his own losses.

By late afternoon, his hands are shoved fist-deep into his coat pockets, on track to finish his ninth lap around the perimeter. The daylight has long pooled down his back, tiny dollops of brightness slow-dripping and honeyed, settling into the hollow divots of his spine. The mise-en-scène frames him in a languorous ochre—the kind of lighting reserved solely for an aged romance. And the wind plays his lover, its post-meridian breath tender as it brushes against his cheek. It’s all a range of motions from there. He takes another step, adjusts a stray earbud, then tugs his scarf all the way up to his nose. Ten laps now, and he still walks. The only time he ever stops is when he stalls mid-way to check his phone. 

Zero messages received. Message not delivered.

His thumb hovers briefly over the send button. The cursor at the end blinks with an almost human hesitancy before it opens its mouth, swallowing everything back up. The screen clears itself again, reduced to nothing but absence: a small square of light where silence reigns. Rin sighs before trudging home, a thousand words lodged into the back of his throat.

Nii-chan, I miss you. 

The kitchen is empty by the time he slides open the shoji, removing his shoes with practiced ease before padding across the soft tatami. His mother’s gone on an errand for groceries, her hastily scrawled note tucked under his door with a bowl of persimmons. The house is empty, the joss sticks still smoking in the living room, tips warm and powder-soft. He grows heady on their incense, locking himself away in his bedroom and drawing the curtains. His old Fujitsu laptop whirrs to life, propped up against two pillows and an oversized owl plush. This time he puts on a splatter film, splayed on his stomach as he reels through the opening credits.

He can watch without the subtitles now, even converse with tourists at the station in Enoden. He recalls his teammates’ faces last Saturday—breaths held tender, jaws slackened with faux horror—when he gave out directions in perfect English. Sae would’ve been proud, if only he knew how much it meant. But lately, there hasn’t been a single interruption to Rin’s nights alone, despite how desperately he longs for one. The most his English is good for nowadays is translating the kooky foreign films he puts on rotation, ninety minutes of runtime for thirty-one evenings.

He must have gone through a dozen franchises by now: Halloween specials, 90’s vintage, slashers, the paranormal. The American flicks still remain his favorite, mostly because of the chainsaws. Something about the suspense of disembodiment scratches an itch inside his brain. Like the adrenaline before a final goal, moments before he implodes—naked body slathered in pools of primary color.

In the darkness, the films weave together: a tidal wave of light that washes down his bedroom walls. The victim shrieks before she is bathed in an eerie swathe of red, pierced at the helm of a bloodshot lens. Something about her death is both alien and terrifying, and Rin feels himself come alive again. 

At climax, the light from his laptop is nothing short of searing, carving-knife intensity digging slowly into thin, rousing bodies. He can only watch as the killer sharpens his blade, each stroke a day-bright epiphany, cutting little wounds into the night. His figure is lit up from behind, illuminated in such a way that Rin can see his organs and count every one of his ribs. The scene peels back like water, reflecting montage after montage on the glass display case next to his closet. The trophies electrify themselves in the shadows, each silhouette splayed neatly on the shelf and serrated round the rim. The metal handles distort the characters’ faces in two-frame slashes, decapitating nose from ear, eye from mouth. Another scream rips through the background as Rin digs graves into his palm. This time the murderer chases a mother down the stairs, gleeful when her child fails to keep up. 

He’s seen this scene play out before—three years and eleven months ago, when he first got himself killed. It’s the final match against Tokyo Metropolitan Youth, and he’s running on fumes, ten minutes into additional time. There’s only a few more meters to the goal area, the footsteps fast approaching from his left. He has to make an escape. The opponent closes in behind him, knife in hand, and all he can do is run, body barreling straight toward the camera. 

The impact hits him right before the shot, his leg flaring out in some desperate attempt at a goal. The ball soars as he stumbles forward—violence in free fall, the boy inside him lit from within. In the final moments before he combusts, time stretches itself thin over his bones, smoking and exorcized from the fire. The shadow of his killer looms behind him, arm raised with the promise of metal and memory, the blade gleaming in sparse light. 

Got you.

The child on screen turns around, facial features contorted in dramatic horror. Rin can hear her scream before the lips even part. He can already predict this ending. He can predict the next one after this too. Plight of the final girl: last to die but forever immortalized in her own grief and helplessness.

In six months, he will be named the most valuable player for Kamakura United Youth. In another six, he will be hollowed from the inside out, cursed to feel only the loss inside every win. This motion picture has rewound itself one too many times, the credits rolling and taking him along with them. End scene and he’s standing there in a pool of his own triumph—the grass strewn with painted carcasses—a thousand boys dead at his feet. His knees make hard contact with the earth, nothing but penitence in his eyes. This is all he knows: love and its smoking aftermath, the weight of it iron-hot on his tongue. Victory has never tasted so bitter. 

But it always ends the same. For the final girl, the film star, everyone crucified by the crowd. All good auteurs come from a long line of men who have already run out of time, color pooling past their waists, crashing in over their heads. They don’t want to die, so they preserve their souls into billboards, spool strands of silence into substance. They only shoot what is in their blood: the sensational guts, glory, and gore. Because what better way to keep your memory alive than burn it onto the emulsion side of thirty-five millimeter filmstrip?

The red lights have begun to feel suffocating—the last of his breath now a belt around his neck—as the cameras pan down to a mutilated body. Rin secretly envies the child’s soaked shirtsleeves, the ground beneath her perfused in violent color. If only he could be filled with something that beautiful. But instead he was given the body of a pale child filled with longing, constantly waiting for a change and constantly wishing for something to flow out of him. 

Eventually the clock strikes twelve and Rin closes his laptop, the backs of his eyelids whited out, brain overstimulated from the psychedelic screams. His brother’s portrait blurs in his peripheral vision, overexposed from the red glow, staring up at him from the cluttered nightstand. And in the moment, he briefly wonders if Sae left Japan in search of a new image. Perhaps Spain was just ninety minutes of solid technicolor screen where people could scream without horror, where the protagonist could freely bleed. And in the end, there was no death. The audience remains seated in theaters, their memories replaying over and over, bodies forever housed in cinema.

At the director’s cut, Rin’s consciousness falls under, hand still clutching the frame. End scene and Sae’s blown-out face smiles just a little into the darkness.

© verysium 2024 / please do not translate, repost, or plagiarize any of my works

[animehideout]

Can u write oneshot satoXshort f!reader? And both entp!( I mean he ofc is but like u get it)

I don't k if i can or the requests r open but I hoppee!!

GOJO SATORU X ENTP SHORT F!READER

A/n : Hii bestie @nana-saturo , sorry for this late update. I really hope you like it tho 😭✨ sending you big huggies ʕ⁠っ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠っ

Both ENTPs? Teasing and sarcasm are the backbone of your relationship, your number one love language and both of you agree on that.  You have a unique kind of romance, filled with banter, competition, roasting each other and a lot of skinship. You just love touching each other at any given chance and under any circumstances. You’d be hanging out alone or with your group of friends, randomly and unexpectedly, you decide to shower each other in affection. You’re a dynamic and chaotic couple, literally annoying each other and everyone else in the room. May or may not use insults as nicknames.

ENTPs get bored easily and want to be entertained 24/7 or you might lose interest. Lucky for you, you found each other, both you and Gojo have a blast together in your own  unique way. You may team up to prank people just because why not? Joking around a lot, people may not take you seriously, but in reality you’re smart and high intellectuals. You’re just unique in everything, to the point that only you can get each other.

Gojo likes to annoy you, using your height to tease you. Always making playful remarks. He finds amusement in resting his arm on top of your head, playfully putting all of his weight just to see you struggle.

“you know babe, you’re the perfect height for a napkin holder!” .

“They say good things come in small packages, but I guess great things come in tiny ones…just like you hehe”.

Would you get offended? Absolutely not! You always come up with the best comebacks. And once you start teasing each other, the cycle never ends.

“Oh yeah? You think I’m too short? Well I guess you’re just too tall! I’m pretty sure you were a giraffe in your past life, you even got the long neck to match!”

“you’re like a human ladder, I won’t find a difficulty changing my lamps”.

This kind of jokesstrengthens your relationship, Gojo loves loves it when you don’t hold back and just make fun of him,  when you match his energy and vibe. Even during arguments, you never stop being playful, he mischievously places your belongings on higher shelves so he’d watch you struggle to reach them or so you can ask him from help. But of course as an ENTP you’re independent and kind of self-centered so it would be an insult to you if you ask for help. So he always ends up laughing while watching you tiptoeing or  getting on the counter to get to that shelf.  

“Really? Tiptoeing? You wouldn’t even reach my knees” .

He’d willingly get you what you want even though you defiantly told him that you can handle it yourself. Your bickering sets everyone off the edge, except for you. People around you might think  you hate each other since you’re getting to each other’s throat but in reality it’s just a simple small argument, ENTPs just love the drama.

Beyond the mean jokes and the heart crushing teasing, you truly appreciate each other’s heights. He finds you extremely cute, he loves the height gap and given Gojo’s personality it makes him feel very protective over you.

“Your height only adds to your charm and uniqueness..making you even more captivating and attractive in my eyes.” .

In return, of course you love his height too. Whenever you burry your head in his chest, you can actually listen to his heartbeat, and you find it really soothing, his huge form makes you feel safe and warm, he’s like a human teddy bear. His embrace is your favorite hideout and his big arms are your shields.

“I feel so secure when I’m with you. Your height makes me feel safe…. It adds to your charisma” .

ENTPs feed on compliments; it boosts your self-confidence to the top. After making fun of each other, you always make sure to reassure each other and show your love and admiration. You actually find joy in each other’s  size difference, both of you are like the same person but in different shapes, what’s more fun than that?!

"I love how perfectly we fit together, like two puzzle pieces destined to complement each other."

[dr1lldash]

yandere!venture x reader 2.9k tw: violence, fire, death (not major character), unhealthy relationships

i have never written something like this before, i dunno how to feel about it tbh but i did my best ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

prompts: 3. “no babe, you aren’t weak – i should just be the one protecting you, okay??” + 7. ”i only hurt them because i love you…” (slightly modified)

You didn’t get the chance to meet Sloan until you had already been working with the Wayfinders for a few weeks. You had certainly heard about them, the other members of the Society constantly talking about things they had done in the past, their work ethic, the way they can always light up a room, the ideas they had to unearth artifacts that the others would think lost. You were impressed by them, eager to meet them, but if you could turn back time, you would have left the site before you had a chance to.

You finally got the chance to meet them one night when you and a few other Wayfinders were having a bonfire. The dig was going well, you still had a lot to excavate, but you had made a lot more progress than you usually would have by that time. Part of that was, of course, due to Sloan working overtime, forgoing sleep in order to keep digging alone with only a headlamp to illuminate them. On this particular night, however, they had decided they needed a break, and what better way to get a rest than by roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over an open fire?

It took them a while to notice you. They greeted their friends with a wide smile, showcasing their chipped tooth, taking a skewer and a hot dog and letting it blister before they devoured it. You could hear their laugh from across the firepit, a sound of pure joy that made butterflies erupt in your stomach. You kept an eye on them, entranced by the way the flames danced in their eyes, but quickly turned your head when they looked at you. For a split second before you could react, they made intense eye contact with you, intensifying the feeling in your abdomen. When you gained the courage to stop staring off into the cliffs surrounding you, they had already looked away, now fully engrossed in their conversation.

The smoke blowing in your face was starting to make your eyes water, so you got up, walking towards the tents so you could get a drink out of the cooler. You pulled out a bottle of cold water, slightly wet from the melting ice surrounding it, and sat on top of the cooler in order to enjoy it. You were looking up at the stars, trying your best to find the constellations you know, and you didn’t hear the quiet footsteps approaching you. When an unfamiliar voice behind you asks, “Can I get in there?” you jumped, nearly falling off the cooler.

You quickly turned your head to apologize, but the words got caught in your throat when your eyes met Sloan’s, a lot closer than you had anticipated. They were hunched over, hand already on the cooler, face inches away from yours, if that. You stuttered, not really getting any proper words out, sliding off the cooler and away from them.

“Didn’t mean to scare you,” they said as they opened the cooler and grabbed themself a water bottle. “Sorry about that.” You struggled to find the words to respond as they drank quickly.

“No worries,” you eventually managed. “I was just distracted, I didn’t hear you.”

“What were you distracted by?” They crushed the now-empty bottle and shoved it in their pants pocket.

You pointed up. “The stars are a lot clearer out here than I’ve ever seen.”

They looked up, a small smile on their face. “First time I ever really saw the stars was on a dig. You never really get used to it.”

The two of you continued your conversation for what felt like minutes, but the herd of people entering their tents tells you otherwise. Sloan looks at their wrist, to a watch with illuminated numbers wrapped around it. Their eyes widened. “We should, uh, get to our tents. We have to get up to dig in a couple hours.” They turn their wrist so you can see the numbers, telling you that it’s just past three in the morning.

“Shit.” The two of you said your goodbyes and goodnights quickly, rushing to your individual tents to get as much shut-eye as you can.

Morning came too quickly, but your energy levels spiked when you found out Sloan would be joining your field crew. “The director said going out alone could be dangerous, and she doesn’t like me going out as late as I have been. Said we’re a team, we’re supposed to keep an eye on each other and keep each other safe,” they explained.

There were eight people on the crew with them joining, so you’re all able to split off into pairs to excavate certain areas. Sloan had the most experience, and you had the least, so they volunteered to partner with you, to show you the ropes and make sure you’re able to keep up.

You were grateful for their help, knowing that they could work at least twice as fast without you, but they never made you feel like a burden. They slowed their walking pace so you didn’t get exhausted, showed off any artifacts they uncovered and let you try to identify it before they did, even guided you to shady spots they had found in the previous days so you could cool off when the sun beating down on you got to be too much. The two of you talked for most of the day, and by the time the two of you were walking back to the campsite, a half dozen new artifacts in tow, you felt like you understood why everyone liked Sloan so much.

Slowly but surely, over the next few weeks, they started to hang around you more.

The first step, of course, was to go on every dig with you. It was easy enough to convince you that it was necessary, and you were so eager to learn, you never even considered that you weren’t the only new Wayfinder. They started to eat breakfast and dinner with you, only a few times a week to start, but it became every day before you knew it. It made sense, though, right? You eat breakfast together, you go and uncover what you can find, and you talk about it that night. Things started to feel more off when you had a free day and Sloan all but refused to leave your side.

Your plan was to go into town and just look around. Sloan asked if they could tag along, and since you knew they had seen the sights before, you gladly accepted. You followed them around like a puppy for a few hours, listening intently as they told you the history of the town around you and recommended shops and cafes for the two of you to stop by. It was a good day, by all means, but there was a nagging voice in the back of your head telling you that something was wrong.

Sloan bought you lunch, a t-shirt you were eyeing and even a postcard. “I have a whole book of them in my tent, I get one for every dig. I can show you when we get back, if you’d like.”

“Absolutely!” Your eyes were wide with excitement. “How many do you have? How long have you been with the Society?”

They paused. “Not sure how many I have, but I bet it’s over a hundred at this point. I’ve been a Wayfinder for about a decade now.”

“Woah.” You blinked a few times. “That’s…a really long time.”

They smile at you. “Time flies when you’re having fun. It barely feels like it’s been a year sometimes. There’s nothing I’d rather be doing.”

When the two of you left the cafe, the sun was beginning to set. You made your way casually back towards the digsite, but a small shop caught your eye before you left town. “Ooh, one sec, I wanna look in there.”

You turned your head to look at Sloan only to find them glaring at the store, an expression you hadn’t seen on their face since you met. Not when you needed a break after only a few minutes of searching an area, not when an artifact they had been so ecstatic to uncover crumbled to dust in their hands, not even when someone else took the last marshmallow right as they had been reaching for it. Their scowl was gone in an instant as they looked back at you. They glanced at their watch, the numbers starting to glow as the light around you faded.

“It’s kinda late, we should really be getting back.”

“Oh, okay.” Your voice was quieter than you had intended, but if Sloan notices, they don’t say anything. They take your hand in theirs as they keep walking, pulling you away from the store. You convince yourself that you imagined the look on their face, that it was a trick of the shadows due to the setting sun. The look in their eyes was so full of hatred, and there’s no way Sloan has that type of loathing in their heart. You shake your head slightly in an attempt to get rid of the thoughts, and it seems to work.

Then, you’re distracted by the fire engulfing the digsite.

Almost every tent was in flames, a thick smoke covering the area and spiraling up into the night sky. The tents that weren’t in flames were already ash. A wave of heat hit you as you stood still, completely unable to move your legs. Sloan, on the other hand, was immediately in action.

“[Y/N].” They put their hands on either side of your face, forcing you to look in their eyes instead of the chaos a few yards ahead of you. “I need you to stay here.” Their eyes flitted back and forth behind you, taking in your surroundings. “There’s a clearing right over there. Can you stay there for me?”

You shook your head. “I want to help you.”

They pursed their lips. “I don’t know what’s going on, it isn’t safe. Please just trust me on this.” They looked over their shoulder. “I’ll find help, we’ll put the fires out, and everything will be okay, but I need you to be safe first.”

“I can help, I can keep you safe. I’m not weak.”

They let out a sigh, but it didn’t seem exasperated, more concerned. “No, you’re not weak, I don’t think you’re weak, I just…I should be the one protecting you, okay? Please let me do this.”

You nodded, but it felt like admitting defeat to do so. They nodded back, not saying a word as they turned and ran into the inferno.

You manage to stumble a few feet to the clearing, and you fall backwards into some sand. The smoke wasn’t so thick there, you could breathe more comfortably, but you could barely see your hands in your lap. As your brain adjusted to the situation you were now in, you found yourself worried about Sloan. It felt like it had only been a few minutes, but it could have been longer, and the crackling of the fire hadn’t faded at all.

You managed to get to your feet, immediately regretting it as your lungs filled with smoke. You doubled over, coughing loudly, and something knocks the wind out of you as it knocks you to the ground. You felt a considerable pressure on your chest, and as you struggled to breathe you were able to crane your neck to look at it. An armored black boot and a matching pants leg rests on your sternum. You tried to look up, but smoke obscured everything above their thigh. A gun appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and you heard it cock as it pressed to your forehead.

“Straggler, huh?” The voice was slightly muffled, but you could almost hear them laugh as they said it. “Should’ve just stayed wherever you were. Boss said no survivors.”

You wanted to beg for your life, you wanted to scream, you wanted to travel back in time an hour ago and beg Sloan to let you go into that store, just for a few minutes, but everything you wanted to do got caught up in your throat and you were completely unable to make a sound.

“No last words? Pity.” The gun pushed harder into your head, and you felt tears welling up in your eyes as you tried to come to terms with your fate. You squeezed them shut, silently praying for the stranger to make your death quick, when you heard the whir of an excavation drill coming to life behind them. The foot preventing you from breathing felt lighter for a moment before it was completely removed, a loud thud to the side following as you felt something warm spray on your face. Even through the smoke, you could smell the metal.

Blood.

You were borderline hysterical. Now able to breathe, you felt sobs shaking your entire body as you breathed in lungfuls of smoke. The fast, almost painless death you were about to face was ripped away from you, and now, your fate might be much worse. The drills used to destroy packed dirt were anything but gentle. You had heard of people losing fingers, hands, entire limbs due to careless use, but the cracking of bones you had just heard had already been cemented in your brain. You were beginning to panic, wondering why it was taking so long for them to just end you already when you opened your eyes and saw a familiar hand reaching out to you.

Their yellow nail polish was chipped more than it had been earlier and blood trailed up as far as you could see in a spiral pattern, but there was no mistaking Sloan’s hand. “Are you okay?” they asked, coughing as they did. You heard another thud and their other hand reached out to you, equally stained with blood, if not more. Unable to blink, much less move, you stayed limp and allowed them to pick you up.

“Did they hurt you?” The concern in their voice was evident, and it took all of your willpower to force a sound out of your throat.

“No.” They wrapped their arms around you at this, squeezing you tightly.

“I was so worried.” Their head was pressed into your shoulder, muffling their words. You struggled to pick your arms up to match their hug, but you managed. After a moment, they pull away from you, looking into your eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

You nodded slightly. “Sloan…” your voice trailed off. “Where is everyone else?”

Tears instantly welled in their eyes. “I couldn’t find anyone. I put the fires out but I couldn’t find anyone. There’s so much blood, [Y/N].”

Blood.

You looked down at Sloan’s hand, now resting on your shoulder. The blood was still fresh, and beads of it dripped onto your shirt, staining it. “You killed someone.”

They shook their head. “I didn’t want to. I didn’t know what else to do.” You started to turn your head to look at the body, but everything in your heart screamed at you not to. “I only - I only hurt them because I love you.” Their grip on your shoulder tightens. “I need you to be okay. I don’t know what I would do without you.” You looked into their eyes and you saw that same intense gaze you had seen the first night you met. The butterflies in your stomach returned, but it didn’t feel like such a good thing anymore.

“They almost killed me.”

“I would never let that happen, I swear.” Their wide brown eyes were pleading, and you felt tears welling up in yours once again. One fell from your eye, and as if a dam was broken, you started to sob uncontrollably. Despite the situation lasting less than an hour for you, the stress was overwhelming and your body was finally able to catch up on it. Your chest hurt and you weren’t sure if it was the smoke clouding your lungs or a bruise from the boot that had been crushing them beginning to form.

You barely manage to get the words out. “Sloan,” you choked out between sobs, “they almost killed me.” Without a word, they wrapped you in a hug once again, stroking your hair gently. They held you like that until you were able to calm down, and when your sobbing stopped, they helped you to sit on the ground.

“It was Talon.” You looked at them as they began to explain. “We found something they wanted, and we didn’t give it up fast enough. I don’t know what it was, but they destroyed everything else.”

“What are we going to do?” Your voice was hoarse.

“I’ll contact headquarters. They can pick us up, get us out of here, keep us safe.” Sloan clenched their jaw. “As safe as they can, anyways.”

“Has this happened before?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

Their eyes unfocused for a moment before they blink a few times. “This is a dangerous lifestyle, [Y/N].” You decided to accept their lack of an answer.

“I’m scared, Sloan.”

They leaned over, taking one of your hands in both of theirs. “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you. I just need you to let me protect you, okay?”

You nodded softly. “Okay.”

They brought your hand up to their mouth, pressing a gentle kiss on it. “I won’t let you out of my sight ever again.”

[jennaortegasshoes]

Confessions

WARNING: pervy!ethan, shy!ethan, sub!ethan, masturb!tion!ethan, dom!reader, fake innocent!reader, dirty!ethan, handjob!e receiving, blowjob!e receiving

short summary: reader inviting ethan over to study, ethan gets distracted and masturbates to readers voice, reader acts innocent and leads ethan on.

DNI IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE I AM NOT IN CHARGE OF WHAT YOU READ, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

"okay so ethan, what is it your struggling on?" You took a seat at your desk, opening your study notebook to get started. Ethan shifting to the side so he could lean over and take a look. "i-its algebra, i struggle with algebra." he cleared his throat.

"okay so, you can take a seat on my bed while i talk you through it, is that okay?" you turned your head to look at him.

he nodded and sat on your bed, putting his workbook down next to him. "thats okay. Uhm where do we start" you turned back around to face your own paper. "Okay its fairly easy, any numbers combined with a letter are what we are going to have to work out, see that 'x' next to the number '2?' Thats what were focusing on okay?"

"uh-huh" he found himself lost in your voice, like he was trapped around your words, every time you spoke sent a lightening strike to his cock. "u-uhm, so if i just add the two numbers together and add the x onto the first number is that correct?" his breath was shaky.

"good ethan! do you want me to keep walking you through the calculations?"

"y-yes, y-yes please" He couldnt help the stutters coming from his mouth, he wanted you to keep talking. Infact he never wanted you to stop.

you chuckle "eager arent we, so if were gonna talk about equations that don't have the answer to 'x' were going to have to find out 'x' before we can complete the equation! For example here we have 7 + x - 5 = 8, what we have to do is 8+5-7! To find 'x' which is 6! To which we can replace x with 6 and the equation is complete!!"

He was palming himself through his jeans, your voice was pushing him into a different mindset, the way you were talking was turning him on. "o-oh okay. uh-huh"

"so now you know how to do that can you complete those questions for me ethan?" you push your chair back, "its page 12 of the booklet i gave you."

a low grown escaped his mouth. "s-sorry yeah." he uses his free hand to flick through the pages.

"do you need any extra help, or do you think what i told you was enough for you to. let go" you tilt your head to the side flicking through your own workbook to revise.

"no no it was enough." his breathing was becoming heavier, and his hand wasn't doing enough palming him over his clothes, he needed more, and he was going to get more. He popped open the top button on his jeans carefully unzipping so it wasn't to obvious of the dirty deed he is about to commit.

"ethan, when your finished with that would you come over here for me?"

"of course, uhm im just starting this n-now." He freed his cock from his boxers, letting it hit his lower stomach, before grabbing it and pumping it. "c-can you tell me how to do it again please" he needed you to speak.

"oh sure! So you just need to find the value of 'x' too complete the equations! Like i said 7+x-5=8, all you have to do is add 5 to 8 to get 13 then take away 7 from that answer so you get 6! easy peasy! Do you get it?"

"o-oh, mhm yeah i get it" he grunts pumping his cock in his fist faster, his breath getting shakier and quiet moans erupting from his mouth.

you tilt your head to the side, you heard him "ethan? You okay?" You were slightly worried.

"y-yeah im okay y/n, j-just doing my work" his hand staying at the fast paste and the knot in his stomach beginning to form

you notice the slight whimpers, the low grunts and the moans. you realise what hes doing. you weren't mad. you were more than excited. excited to tease him

"ethan, you know I've always wanted to run my fingers through your hair" you smirk "run my hand down your neck and your back, ive seen you be so stressed recently. ive been wanting to give you a massage"

he moans, thinking about those things happening, his perfect fantasies coming to life were more than enough for him to let go, enough for him to cum.

"anyways ethan, you gonna come?" You smirk to yourself

"w-what?" his chest rising and falling at a speedy pace

"you know, you gonna come? come over here?"

"o-oh right! yeah come over there!" he gulps "i'm kinda s-stuck on my work r-right now. U-uhm maybe after?" He lets out a low moan

"how about i come over there, and help you?" you push yourself off the chair and onto the ground

"maybe i can even, suck your dick?" You turn to face him.

"s-suck my d-dick? He opens his eyes to see you looking at him.

you take your steps over to the bed before dropping onto your knees "you dont want me to?" You tilt your head to the side looking up at him with dark eyes.

"no no no please do please!" he bites his lip looking down at you desperately, all his fantasies coming true in a beat of a heart.

"anything for you big boy" grabbing a hold of his cock and pumping it a few times, watching his foreskin roll back and his pre-cum drip out of his tip.

he throws his head back, his eyes rolling back into his skull, this is all he has ever wanted. and its here right in front of him.

you lower your head down licking a stripe along the crease on his tip. pushing the tip into your mouth, then the body wrapping your lips around his length.

"f-fuck" he opens his eyes, just to watch you suck his cock. "g-go, please"

you swirl your tongue around him, pulling yourself up and pushing yourself back down, sucking his dick. Maintaining eye-contact. looking up at him through your lashes.

he whimpers feeling the pure ecstasy of your mouth, the pleasure re-building fast from his lost orgasm from before. "y-y/n im g-gonna cum! p-please let me cum"

you keep bobbing your head on his cock. "Cum, cum for me ethan." You mumble around him.

he lets out a low moan, his orgasm crashing down, from the vibrations sent to his cock and the permission you gave him.

you swallowed the thick string of cum that emptied into your mouth, pulling off his cock before replacing it with your hand to get him through his orgasm.

"G-god, y-y/n" he came down from his orgasm, breath heavy.

You stand up. wiping your mouth with the sleeve of your sweater.

"i think you should come study at mine more often"

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for ditching my best friend because of her political views?

🧠🧠🧠 so I can find it later.

My best friend of nearly 10 years has, imo, gone completely off the deep end politically. She went from an educated CNA with 4 years at the same job to being unable to hold down a job and being blacklisted from EVERY hospital and medical center in the city for forcing her patients to pray with her and spouting political and pseudoscience. This last year, she had 7 jobs, which is unreal for her.

In 2016, she fell down the Qanon rabbit hole. Over the last 6 ish years, she has started abusing trans people online, she harassed people at Pride this year, and actually believes all of the qanon stuff.

I just can't handle it. She's become hateful, paranoid. She doesn't even shop at grocery stores anymore because they are "run by liberal scum." She only shops Amazon and fast food. She bought a gun, and she answers the door with it. Even if she knows a friend is coming over, she's afraid of black people now. She's afraid of poor people, too. I just don't get it. She watches the news all day, every day. Like it's an addiction to see global suffering 24/7.

I'm not kidding. I think there's something going wrong upstairs. I tried to reach out, gently, around August about a possible mental health issue, since she's struggled with a few issues in the past. She just started in on how NASA pushed the moon further from Earth and that gave us all depression. I tried for months to help her. But nothing has worked and now she is talking about how all liberals should die and is getting those horrible "hang biden" stickers on her car, and I just blocked her. I blocked her number, blocked her on all social media, and blocked her email address. I ghosted her.

She was my best friend, and I think I might be TA because I didn't stick it out and try more to bring her back. But I also think she's past that point, if she comes around it has to be on her own. In the mean time, I want nothing to do with her. But I miss her. We had such an amazing friendship that's gone downhill so fast. I think I hurt her, but I'm worried for my own mental health. See how I'm on the fence? Ugh.

Aita?

What are these acronyms?

[everydayyoulovemeless]

sequel to that no nut november post where instead it's destroy dick december?😭

FNV Companions (+Yes Man, Victor, and Benny) Responses to Destroy Dick December

➼ Word Count » 0.7k ➼ Warnings » MDNI ➼ Genre » NSFW, Romantic ➼ A/N » what a title

Boone outright refuses. He knows he's not gonna be successful and decides he's not even going to try. He's not even supportive about it. Anytime he sees you walk toward the bathroom he'll look at you with disgust and tell you to be smart about what you're gonna do because you both have to hit the road again soon, whether you're tired or not. 0/10, he's an awful partner to do this challenge with, don't even bother asking.

"Does it feel good anymore?"

Arcade will run stressed hands down his face. He made it all the way through November only for you to bring up something he finds to be way harder than the last. He'll try, but he's not making it anywhere past the tenth day. He likes being overstimulated, but damn. 3/10, he tries but doesn't quite have the stamina to pull it off.

"uh uh, I'm done, I have things I need to do around Freeside."

Raul hits you with that 1000-mile stare. Have you seen how decrepit he is? He has a difficult trying to get his thing up as it is, and you want to see him cum 31 times in one day? No, thank you. 2/10, he does actually try because he's curious about how far he can take himself, but it's nothing to write home about. He'll make it to day 3 if he's lucky.

"I'm over 200, boss... I don't think I can."

Cass is a champion at this. She can cum 31 times a day any day of the week. The biggest problem with her is that she makes sure to include you. You're knees are going to be weak and wobbly by the end of the month, it's her only goal since she passes the challenge with ease every year. 11/10, it's her favorite month by far.

"C'mon~ You can last longer than that!"

Veronica's quite determined to pass, even if she knows she's going to struggle once she hits the double digits. She'll try to mix all sorts of new things into your sex life to try and keep the challenge fresh and interesting. She'll find all sorts of sex toys and new positions to try in an attempt to keep you both at it for longer. 7/10, she makes it to day 15, but at least she's creative.

"Hear me out... I got us working vibrators!"

Yes Man makes it his life's mission to ensure you make it through the month. He'll lock you away in the Lucky 38 and personally make sure you get to the correct number every day. The day you told him you were interested in doing it was the day he pledged to himself that he'd actually get you through this challenge. He didn't do as well last month, but he'll make sure this time is different. He'll even tie you to the bed if he has to. 10/10, not only are you passing, but he will too!

"Aww, quite squirming! We've almost hit the number for today!"

Victor just shrugs and tells you that he thinks it'd be fun. He's not the horniest person alive, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't have stamina. He's fairly competitive and would like to win the challenge with you, but it relies heavily on how far you're willing to take it. 5/10, he could go for however long, but he'll stop going at it when you do.

"How're you holdin' up? Wanna go another round?"

Benny was really on board with it until the sixth day when he realized how exhausting this actually is. He's an old man, he's not built for this. But he wants to keep that pimp-like persona going for as long as he can. He'll be whimpering most nights from the overstimulation but he doesn't give up unless you specifically ask him about it. 8/10, he plays a very convincing performance, but how long can he push it?

"Sure, baby! We can go... again..."

[theomnicode]

One punch man and flirting with romance

Romance, in my opm? More likely than you think.

There are many instances in one punch man where the author and the mangaka specifically tip their toes into showcases of implicit romance than explicit, but it is there and I'd like to jump into the romantic cruise ship and put down some of the cases where romance has been implied.

Starting with number one, Fubuki and Psykos implied to be kissing under a tree as teenagers where Fubuki seals off Psykos' powers with an implied kiss, where Psykos is also seen blushing right after. Rest of their interactions also ooze romantic overtones.

Number two is cd audio drama, Saitama and the mysterious heroine, where Saitama and Genos go see a movie and Saitama starts talking about relationships after seeing Suiryu flirt with a woman, then goes on tangent about girlfriends and such.

Saitama: That’s not the point... I have the feeling that things like a heart to heart interaction, sharing an umbrella, warmth, are all things broken away in my life. Other people can have things like big events and circumstances happening, romances and such bringing happiness in their daily lives. I have the feeling something broke and that sweet-like fluffy, nice stuff just fell right off from me. That's what I meant.

Saitama: Genos, look, have you ever seen a hero anime without a love interest in it? Genos: I don't remember watching a lot of anime in the past.. Why do you ask? Saitama: Well, we're heroes, right? We're working and living as such. And yet, why are we indifferent towards things like love interests or girlfriends? In some way it seems obvious and logical, but is it really ok? Are you ok with reality being so much harder than fiction?

It is obvious that Saitama would still be interested in romance, as he seems to be a romantic at heart, yet after becoming so strong he struggles with his emotions, his apathy.

Saitama also reads romantic shoujo manga on his spare time, as seen on season 2 OVA.

Number three is fairly recent addition where it is implied that Genos interest in Saitama as a disciple may or may not be entirely platonic. 3 different people (Zombieman, Flashy flash and Amai-mask) take note of Genos growing interest in Saitama. Genos has also been noted very much be interested in his master's physical appeal in audio cd dramas and below excerpt.

Genos for a long time, has been a prime example of a potential fool in love, but it is still handled in implicit rather than explicit manner. Shoujo sparkles and all that included.

Number four is a most recent addition of Blast and his partner, possibly holding hands under the panel. Blast's partner is specifically referred to as "partner" and not a collaborator by Sitch, giving his partner some more importance in the scene than rest of Blast's teammates. This one may be reaching, but we'll be seeing in future arcs how correct that assumption is.

Number five, Saitama and makeover audio drama where Genos has given Saitama's attack a long name.

Saitama: (Serious voice) Super shining and lightning, that’s right, this next punch will overwhelm you like a gust of northern urban wind deep in December, this illusionary, fantastical, understanding punch from the heart, starting from hyper dreaming attack the final, a never-ending eternal forever endless sentimental with a high sense aggregation of full throttle, godless, loneliness, can’t stop falling in love and as soon as fighting…

Number six, monsters named Maiko plasma and Electric catfish man appear to be a married couple. Maiko plasma refers to Catfish man as "darling" in multiple occasions, so they appear to be involved.

Number 7, where Tatsumaki thinks that Saitama is attracted to her because he's gripping her hand.

Last but not least, number 8, romantic alternate universe comedy part between Fubuki and Saitama in high school audio drama, where Fubuki thinks Saitama wanted to confess to her.

OPM may not yet have any really explicit romance, but implicit...there is a boatload. ONE does not leave fans cold when it comes to romantic undertones. :D

[choicesficwriterscreations]

July Creator of the Month: Eadanga

Please welcome this month’s Creator of the Month: @eadanga

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists. The writer or artist is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page. Past COTM's can be found here.

Tumblr Blog Name: Eadanga How do you want to be known on Tumblr? Esang

Quick Links:

Tumblr Blog Masterlist

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played?

I don't remember the year, but I started playing when it was only The Crown & The Flame, The Freshman, and Most Wanted. I thought it was a rip-off of Episode because many apps like that exist. The first book I started playing was The Crown & The Flame, and then I got bored of it, so I tried The Freshman, and I was hooked. Been playing ever since 😃

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined about four years ago. I was in a Choices group on Facebook and saw people sharing fanfics. I first thought it was an ad, but when I looked, it was a fanfic, and it was amazing. That's when I joined so I could read more, and then I posted one of my own that I wrote.

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

Literally, it's just my name. I didn't think I'd be here long, not to mention posting. It's the first letter of my name, Esang, and my last name, Adanga. Maybe one day I'll change it 🤣😂

4- Pull up the first post in your archive, and tell us about it!  

This was my first post. I saw people making stories in the Choices group and decided to make one of my own. I didn't think it would get much attention, but it did 😁

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

I write fanfiction, but I’m not really good at making art, lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Let's see, I think I started in 2020. Choices is the only fandom I write for.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

The Freshman and The Royal Romance will always be my number one favorite books to read and write for 😁

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

This was my favorite, and I'll never change anything about it. It is so romantic, hehe 😍

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This one wrote it for @flowerpowell, and even though she doesn't post anymore, it was so much fun to write something for her. 

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

It's definitely my Deepest Desire series. I didn't expect people to enjoy it, especially @littlegreenmoo, who was having a field day with that series 🤣. Chris's Journal could have been better; a little bit more detail would have made it pop.

11- (WRITERS) If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

I hate angst, and I haven't written smut since my Deepest Desire series 🤣 so fluff all the way. I love happy endings 😁

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

I put some of me in my MCs, like when they're cooking, cause I love to cook 😁

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most?

Keeping up with a schedule. I make one, but then real life gets in the way, and I gotta change it.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

Eternal Love, I haven't written for that in a long time. I just got caught up with other fanfics, and then you lose inspiration, but I will get back to it one day.

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

Yes, I would love to show them, but I've shown my work without people asking. I've shown my best friend my work; she didn't ask. I just showed it to her, and she enjoyed it. I've shown my mom, too. She constantly told me to send it somewhere and get paid even though I only write for fun, not as a job. I stopped showing her after that because she was tired of hearing that.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

@maxattackpowell and @drivenbyfantasy are both no longer here, but their fanfics inspired mine. I’m grateful to both of them for that. 

17- (WRITERS)  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

The Graduate would make a great movie or Choices book, hehe.

18- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

Choices is my first fandom.

19-  What other hobbies do you have?

I love cooking and baking, watching anime (I'm a total anime nerd 🤣), spending time with my baby @choicesgodfanatic, reading Archie comics, watching cartoons, praise dancing, and writing episode stories. 

20- BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to)

Thanks to everyone who enjoys all my stories, and don't ever worry about me leaving cause I'm here to stay. Choices is why I met my amazing love @choicesgodfanatic. It's part of our love story, and I'll never give up on it.

Plus, I've met some wonderful people here and never want to leave them. So glad you all enjoy my fanfics, and look out for many more cause more is coming your way 😁