#i was trying to go straight to my tumblr drafts but i was distracted and ended up accidentally trying to type ''dashboard''

[airenyah]

uh. hello???????????? where did that autofull suddenly come from???????? i haven't thought about this series in at least a decade???????? help?????????

[naavispider]

Could you do a one-shot between Quaritch and Spider about a thunderstorm? Spider is frightened from the loud bangs caused by the thunderstorm and has a hard time falling asleep. Spider shrieks from fear and Quaritch hears it and notices it coming from his son. He comforts him and both fall asleep together.

This is very similar to another ask I got, which I was typing my response to but TUMBLR decided to DELETE it instead of saving as a draft 😤 (lesson learned, never type long answers straight onto tumblr)

Spider had experienced his fair share of storms. The thunderstorms in the forest had been rare but terrifying. He remembered that one really bad one that flooded sector C of Hell's Gate - the science guys were totally freaked out, though they'd tried not to show it to Spider. He'd huddled in his room, plugging in his music as loud as it could go while the wind and the rain pounded against his window. The noise couldn't drown out the booming claps of thunder that could shake Spider down to his bones. He used to close his eyes against the lightning, wondering every time if this was the final blow - if Eywa had finally had enough of the human base on her planet. Surely this was her retribution against them. Spider couldn't think what else could possibly cause weather as terrifying as this.

So when the first rumble of thunder echoed around the demon ship, Spider froze. They were on deck, and the recoms had been saying for a while that a storm was brewing. They'd seen it on the satellite data, and the ship's crew were all preparing for the assault. Quaritch reassured him that the ship was built to weather conditions like this, but Spider hadn't missed the look he gave Wainfleet immediately after.

The clouds had darkened to a deep grey, and the choppy water reflected the anger from above. When the wind began to pick up, Quaritch called the squad together to retreat down below. They packed up their makeshift camp on the deck, and brought everything inside. As Spider had nothing, he mostly watched, but he made sure that Quaritch had packed the ukulele.

"Get in there, go," Quaritch spurred him on, gently pushing Spider into the airlock just as the first real boom sounded from the heavens. Spider didn't say a word as the squad made their way to the rec room - the largest indoor room that could easily fit all of them - while staying out of the way of the crew who were going to have their work cut out.

"Well this is gonna be fun..." Savine remarked as she plopped herself down against the side of the couch, bringing out her tablet. "Do we know how long it's gonna last?"

Lyle had opened his own tablet. "Looks like a few hours," he muttered, scanning the moving, colourful swirls on the map. Spider could see the data too, and despite not knowing anything about weather patterns, it didn't look good. This was going to be a big one.

Quaritch handed him the spare tablet. "Here, kid. Amuse yourself however you see fit - and buckle down."

How reassuring.

Spider took the screen and made his way over to the gap between two of the nailed in couches. There was a space just big enough for him to slide into, and he wriggled his way in, bringing his knees up to his chest and resting the tablet on them. He scrolled through the shows on the only app that didn't require iris scanning to open, finally deciding to try a new one called Pinky and the Brain. For a while, the colourful images were enough to distract him. He liked the story, although Pinky did seem a bit dumb. The Brain was definitely his favourite character so far.

When the rain started to patter the tiny windows, Spider began to tense up, and found it even harder to concentrate when the pattering slowly increased in ferocity, eventually morphing into sheets of water that hammered the sides of the ship. The noise was almost loud enough to drown out the cartoon. The recoms were having to raise their voices just to be heard as they sat it out. Spider glanced around anxiously, taking a small amount of comfort in the fact that nobody seemed to be panicking.

Unfortunately, Quaritch caught his eye. "Relax, kid," he said, his eyes raking over Spider's tensed up form, his slightly widened eyes. "You look like you're about to be eaten."

Spider glared at the man. He returned his gaze to the cartoon, but it was no longer enough to distract him from the rain and the now howling wind that was beginning to sway the ship. He grasped a shaky hand onto the side of the couch that he was wedged between, trying to steady himself as the floor rocked upwards, then down again. He breathed out slowly through clenched teeth, trying to relax.

"Shit!" he jumped as another clap of thunder roared through the room.

The rest of the recoms were either laying down chatting, or still attempting to get some admin done on their tablets. However, even the most determined of them had to give that up as the rocking of the boat increased and they were forced to steady themselves as best they could.

"If anyone vomits I swear to God I will throw you overboard!" Savine called.

Fuck, what was happening? Spider knew Quaritch had been very reassuring about the strength of the ship, but this seemed crazy. Spider knew how big these storms could get, and they were bad enough in the forest - sheltered by the canopy and not in imminent danger of sinking. Out here? On the ocean? Spider didn't want to think about it. What happened if the ship sank? What happened if they were struck by lightening? Dread pooled in his stomach as he tried to push down the nausea accumulating at the back of his throat.

He was going to die.

"You're fine," came a low voice in front of him.

Spider opened his eyes.

Quaritch was on the floor next to him, and reaching a hand out to place on Spider's leg. The recom's face was earnest - sincere.

"The ship's prepared for storms like these, this ain't its first rodeo. It's gonna pass, all we have to do is wait it out."

Spider swallowed, torn between his existential fear and something that felt like embarrassment. He didn't want to seem like a scared little kid.

"I'm f-fine," he stuttered, but his whole body was tensed up, including his jaw.

"Uh-huh," Quaritch said, appraising him.

"Piss off," was what came out of Spider's mouth. Wait, he didn't mean that. Why did he say that?

Quaritch raised his eyebrows in a surprised and questioning stare.

Spider felt the urge to apologise. But no, he hadn't lost all of his pride - not yet. "Just... just tell me when this will be over," he said.

Quaritch waited a moment before replying. "Probably a few more hours yet, kid."

Fantastic.

His face must have betrayed his hopelessness, because Quaritch squeezed Spider's knee. "I promise, it's alright."

Spider looked up at the man, unconvinced, but didn't reply. He didn't want to open his mouth in case something unintentionally rude came out again.

Quaritch removed his hand from Spider's knee, and reached back across the floor to pick up his own tablet. However, for the next two hours he stayed on the floor next to where Spider had braced himself. Spider wasn't sure if this was a coincidence or not, but he was grateful for it anyway.

With Quaritch beside him, he knew there was no reason to fear. Quaritch was not a stupid or naive man. He couldn't see the Colonel sitting idly by while a life-threatening storm tore up the ship. If there really was any danger, Spider knew that Quaritch would evacuate them, or come up with a plan.

And that night... That night Spider finally realised that he trusted Quaritch.

[kippykasey]

Grace - Chapter 11: Crash and Burn

Pairing: Howard Stark x F!Reader , Bucky x Reader [Eventually]

Word Count: 1383

Series Summary: A young nurse is recruited by Dr. Abraham Erskine to join the SSR to assist on Project Rebirth. Following her work with the SSR she is drafted into the US Army Nurse Corps in the war against the Nazis…and HYDRA.

Author’s Note: Hey hey hey! Welcome back. 2024 is the year to start writing again... I hope haha. Anyway I have finished CATFA. I have a few ideas to do before starting CATWS but we shall see what my brain comes up with when the time comes!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs they are either found on google or under the gif tag provided by tumblr. Any language other than English was translated using Google Translator, and translations will be posted in bolden italics after. I am not a nurse or in the medical field although I may do some research medical treatment written may not be correct.

Grace Masterlist | Snowdrop Masterlist | Masterlist

The plan wasn't exactly what she had expected. Letting Steve walk willingly into their grasp definitely wasn't something she thought highly of. It was an irrational plan but she was putting more trust in him than she probably should but they needed to finish this. The Commandos had talked her out of trying to physically go with Rogers in the first place. She had shown up ready to get on the back of his motorcycle and ride headfirst in the line of fire but it took all of the Commandos, Dugan specifically, to talk her out of it. Instead the nurse made sure she would be ready to join the guys to save that punk from Brooklyn from Hydra's grasp.

She readied her handlebar for the zipline, she wouldn't be missing her mark this time. No, as soon as she got the nod that her anchor was set she had jumped and was making her way down the line Jaques followed not far behind on one side. Grace kicked her legs out as she neared the window reading to break through. Her boots hit and the momentum shattered the glass, her hands released going straight for the shot gun wrapped around her torso, aiming and firing at the first person that she seen that wasn't on her side. Her eyes hardened and despite the ring in her ears from the multiple gunshots around her she kept locked on. She moved to the shield which had been taken when Rogers was captured.

"'Ey, kid! You might need this," The nurse called before she threw the shield to the super soldier who turned to face her, sparks from a stray bullet spraying behind him.

He shouted a thanks before following after Schmidt. The nurse followed the fellow commandos through the halls, humming the hymnal she got her moniker from. After all the hymn brought her a munch needed distraction from the bodies that vanish when hit by the energy from the Hydra guns.

“Ya know hearing ya humming right now is quite unnerving right now Gracie.” Jaques comments as he covers for Dugan who switches his gun out for one of the Hydra ones.

“Yeah well seeing people evaporate before my eyes is unnerving too but we all are witnessing it.” Gracie sighed.

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

The battle continued and for Gracie a gun fight turned into a physical fight that she wasn’t prepared for with one of the Hydra soldiers in all black tactical suits. Gracie swung the butt of the gun at the guy in the same way that Bucky taught her. The Hydra soldier blocked the hit and a deep chuckle startled her out of her focus.

“Ah, du kennst den Soldaten. Schade, was passiert ist. Aber er wird sich erholen.” Ah you know the soldier. A shame what happened. But he will recover.

Her head snapped to attention. Recover? Her chest tightened under the tags that belonged to someone else. Distance. She needed distance. Pulling a leg up between them she kicked him away and into the path of Phillips driving Schmidt’s car.

After hitting the agent Phillips looks to the nurse, “Get in.”

The nurse jumps into the car and Phillips picks up Peggy and follows Rogers who is sprinting after a plane. The car screeched to a halt and Peggy got into the back of the car as the nurse climbed out.

“What are you waiting for punk? Get in!” Grace snaps.

Before Steve was even sitting Phillips sped off to catch up with the plane. The nurse watched the car race after the plane. Her eyes slowly lowered to the pavement. The agent’s words replaying in her head. Did she mess up the translation? Was he talking about a different soldier? Bucky fell. Someone couldn’t live a fall like that. But maybe…

“Lieutenant, look alive!” Phillips’ command snapped her out of her thoughts drawing her attention up to the returning car and a stunned looking Peggy.

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

Phillips, Peggy, and the nurse joined Morita in the communication tower of the hanger. They were waiting for some kind of sign from Rogers, or worse, news of what Schmidt gets away with. There are still a few fights going on below them but there was already a clear winner there. The nurse pulled out her med kit and moved out to the hall to patch up injured and keep herself busy but that didn’t keep her from hearing the transmission come in. Rogers had defeated Schmidt. Steve needed to force the plane down before New York, without enough time to contact Howard for help.

“Grace, you might want to get in here. Some thing tells me Agent Carter is going to need you.” Jim hints, his melancholy tone showing that he knew what was about to happen just as much as everyone else that can here the radio.

“Peggy, this is my choice.”

The nurse enters the communication room. Her eyes land the dark waves of her best friend’s hair. She crosses the room her boot steps seemed louder than they should be, or was that her heartbeat in her ears? Grace reached a supportive hand out, resting it on Peggy’s shoulder. Peg, turned her head just slightly.

“Peggy?” Steve sounded dejected.

Peggy turned her attention back to the open line. “I’m here.”

“I’m going to need a rain check on that dance.” Grace closed her eyes as the slightest tug of a smile pulled at the corner of her lips as she listened to Rogers.

Peggy reached a hand up to rest over her friend’s her body tensing for a moment as she resisted the tears that wanted to fall, a few escaping her dark eyes. “Alright. A week, next Saturday, at the Stork Club.”

“You got it.”

Peggy wiped at the fallen tear. “Eight o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?” Peggy’s hand closed over Grace’s.

“You know, I still don’t know how to dance.”

The fond smile on Peggy’s face was short lived, her voice nearly cracking, “I’ll show you how. Just be there.”

“We’ll have the band play something slow. I’d hate to step on your—” Steve’s voice cut out and all that could be heard in the tower was the radio static.

Peg pulled away from her friend, “Steve?” She struggled with her emotions her voice cracking as she called once again for Steve but she received no reply. Hopeless sobs joined the static and the tower was empty besides the two women. Peggy leaned over the control panel infront of her, shoulders shaking as she silently cried over the man she wouldn’t get the chance of being with. Grace rubbed her back softly, her mouth opened and she did the one thing she could think of to soothe her friend and she began to sing.

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.”

【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】★【☆】

Returning to New York was something bittersweet. The world was celebrating the end of the war. Yet the Commandos toasted to their fallen captain. Howard lead the search for the plane crash, his fiance alone in their apartment. Before her a diary with her scrawled writing. A soldier wouldn’t have survived the fall from the train. Maybe.. maybe a super soldier would. Could James had survived the fall?

Howard returned, nothing but the tesseract was found. He entered the apartment, the stack of unclaimed mail in his hand. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the woman staring at a large board of calculations and a single photo of Sergeant James Barnes. Her fingers clasped and tapping on the thin metal army issued ID tag that belonged to the same pictures soldier on the board.

The second thing that Howard noticed was the lack of ring on her hand or hanging from the chain around her neck. He would find it in a few minutes on the counter in the kitchen back in the box it came in a scribbles apology not under the box.

[sam-glade]

Author Ask Game

Tagged by the lovely @mariahwritesstuff here, @writernopal here, and @tisiphonewolfe here, @void-botanist here - thank you all💜

Gently passing the tag to: @starlit-hopes-and-dreams @vollzz @rbbess110 @flock-from-the-void @pheita @i-can-even-burn-salad (feel free to ignore if you've done it already)

1. What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

I don't write with the aim to teach a lesson. However, after figuring out the plot, I'll look back and see what message I can focus on. Usually, it's kindness, but I also hope to inspire people to find strength within themselves.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

A lot of real world cultures and history. In the case of my main setting, the amount of research into the history and culture of Central and Eastern Europe in the 18th century (especially the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth) would probably be enough to write straight up historical fiction, buuuut I like the fantasy elements, and I don't enjoy writing non-queernormative societies. So here we are.

The second instalment, The Truth Teller, is again in a fantasy version of the Eastern Bloc, and I get a lot of inspiration from talking to people who've lived there in the second half of the 20th century.

Finally, The Fulcrum is an exercise in worldbuilding. It started with a question, what would happen if evolution took a different path, and the dominant sentient species was most closely resembling birds. Other than that, I use it as an excuse to explore other periods in history - primarily late-Bronze and Iron Age.

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

The goal is different every time. E.g. for Days of Dusk:

In Gifts of Fate, Lissan is the MC, and he wants to survive without hurting anyone (the demon possessing him makes it difficult). What I want to achieve with him is to inspire people to persevere.

In The Prince's Shadow Erya is trying to kill Lissan, while dealing with complicated grief. My goal is to inspire people to move on, without preaching forgiveness (the two main characters still hate each other at the end).

In Prodigal Children, Lissan, Erya, and Gullin are the three MCs who are told with absolute certainty that something terrible will happen and it will result in war. They each try to deal with it in a different way. Erya aims to minimise the damage. Gullin thinks he can't do anything about it, so he focuses on protecting his loved ones. Lissan refuses to accept that it will happen at all. My goal as the writer is to showcase that each of these responses has its merits and can't be condemned from the get go.

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

I'm a pantser, so I can answer it only for completed drafts. Gifts of Fate currently has 49 chapters, averaging just over 2k words each - with the total being 109k.

5. Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Everything I post on this blog is original. I don't plan to post the novel-length project online - I'm hoping to publish them traditionally. Some side WIPs may end up being posted here or on AO3 (the unnamed parody thingy that still needs a title), and my Silmarillion fanfiction can be found here (more to come).

6. When and why did you start writing?

I vaguely recall writing my first fantasy heroine self-insert story at the age of 11 or so, then Tolkien fanfiction when I was 15-18, then original fiction onwards. It started as an outlet to my creativity, but now it's to get some peace and quiet in my mind. If I don't put the stories down on paper, they keep buzzing in my head, being distracting.

7. Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Words of encouragement? Just do it. Imperfect doesn't mean bad. Don't let 'perfect' be the enemy of 'good'.

I follow a tonne of writeblrs, so here are a handful of shoutouts: @acertainmoshke @writernopal @tabswrites @toribookworm22 @winterandwords @aether-wasteland-s

Blank questions below:

What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

How many chapters is your story going to have?

Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

When and why did you start writing?

Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

[thesakuragarnet]

Hi! (First Post I guess) MASTER LIST LINKED BELOW KEEP READING!

Hello! I'm Sakura_Garnet and I am chronically obsessed with My Hero Academia, specifically the Keeping Up With The Todoroki's subplot. I exclusively write Dabi/Toya Todoroki-centered fanfiction, ranging from angst to fluff to smut and various combinations. I have a few finished fanfictions and a LOT of WIPs, as well as a plethora of "oneshots" for various AU's. The majority of my writing is done on AO3, but I double post a few of my big works on wattpad. I am constantly listening to music, and most of my fics have been inspired by songs and albums. I have so so SO many headcanons for MHA/BNHA, and feel very strongly about DabiHawks/TouKei as you will see from the majority of my writings. I have ADHD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and try my best to relay my experiences with these neurodivergencies in a few of my works. My main fic that is my pride and joy is PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU, which covers 14 years of Toya Todoroki's life in an alternate universe (ages 16 to 30 to be exact) . If you do choose to read it, please mind the tags and the AO3 author's notes as it does deal with some heavy content (I tend to max out the tags on the majority of my works bc a bitch is nothing if not thorough). I don't know how much I'll be active on here, but I'm excited!

As always

The Past Never Dies,

<3

Sakura_Garnet

Master List (and my universes) 1 8 + ONLY

(Disclaimer: I curse like a sailor in real life so pretty much all fics have some form of swearing in them in some form or fashion. I tag my fics extensively, please pay attention to the tags listed in each fic as I will not be listing them here. Summaries and taglists will be on the links for each fic <3 fics with a sole focus on sm*t will be labeled smvtfics, but that doesn't necessarily mean that unlabeled ones do not have sm*t in them. Some links will take you to tumblr, but not everything is posted on here, so some will go straight to the AO3 fic.)

DabiHawks

- PHOENIX AU

PHOENIX: A Pro Hero Toya Todoroki AU

Private Hero Training Academy : PHOENIX AU Spinoff

Fire in My Veins

I'm Not Okay, I Promise

Separate Ways

I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE (I WANNA BE YOUR MASTER) (smvtfic)

The Tape (smvtfic)

Perfectly Good At It (smvtfic)

HONEY (ARE U COMING?) (smvtfic)

-Fantasy AU

Flames of Fate

Your Body Is My Temple (smvtfic)

-Civilian Social Worker Toya X Pro Hero Hawks AU

It's Dangerous To Go Alone

Pillow Talk (smvtfic)

Grand Gestures

Light as a Feather (smvtfic)

Meet The Todoroki's

Home Late (smvtfic)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Villain Hawks (Talons)

And when he touched him he turned ruby red (smvtfic)

bad idea right (smvtfic)

When we're staring at the ceiling (smvtfic)

-Quirkless College TouKei AU

Pent-Up (smvtfic)

-The Mean Girls AU

On Wednesdays We Wear Black

-THE VOID (Not the canon timeline necessarily but something in between)

We Were Just Kids

Easier Than Lying

Distracted (smvtfic)

One Stupid Phrase (smvtfic)

Touch-Starved

I'd Rather Feel Pain Than Nothing At All (smvtfic)

My Eden (smvtfic)

What The Heart Wants

Conjugal Visit (short smvtfic with a LOT of plot)

that one Rihanna song

Flecks of Gold

Dabi X OC

-The FIREPROOF/ANARCHY saga (Dabi X Sakura)

A Mission

FIREPROOF

ANARCHY (apocalypse AU)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Pro Hero Sakura AU

Playing With Fire: A Pro Hero Dabi AU

The Limo Scandal (Pro Hero Dabi X Mirko X Hawks smvtfic prequel)

-Touya X Dusk AU

His Ocean Eyes

First (smvtfic draft)

MISA! MISA! (smvtfic draft)

On the Clock (smvtfic spoiler)

-Pro Hero Dabi X Villain Sakura

Secondary Location

DABI X FEM! READER

Random Villain Fem! Reader X Dabi

Only Stops A Sentence (smvtfic)

Good Graces

Liquid Lust (smvtfic)

Left Behind

Support Course Graduate Fem! Reader X Dabi

Crimes Of Passion (smvtfic)

Carnal Addictions (smvtfic)

Deal With The Devil (smvtfic)

Spies AU

Say My F*cking Name (smvtfic)

The Band AU

Music Keeps Us Alive: College Band AU

Cravings (FTM DABI X TWICE SMVTFIC)

Random Dabi-centric (ish) Fics

The League Of Villain Go To Disney: A crackfic mini series for just good vibes (slight DabiHawks)

Birthday (LOV Found Family Vibes) (slight DabiHawks)

Savior Complex (Big Brother Dabi)

Here Be Dragons (Alt. Fantasy AU)

If I Had Been There (Dabi X Magne Angst)

Embers In The Dark (Dabi X Burnin' smvtfic)

[safyresky]

Frostmas Year Nine: Behind the Scenes

Prologue | Y1 | Y2 | Y3 | Y4 | Y5 | Y6 | Y7 | Y8 | Y9 | Y10 | Y11 | Y12

(in Kermit the Frog voice) Let's begin!

I straight up thought this chapter would be fairly short, because when I wrote it out in point form the events didn’t seem like they’d have a lot of action. Then I began writing it, and I was DEAD wrong

I listened to the opening scene of the North Pole Resort SOO MANY TIMES to hear the lyrics to the song perfectly. I had to ask my wonderful housemate to take a listen to try and figure out the “santa t-shirts, santa ties” line and WHEN I FINALLY WATCHED IT ON DISNEY WITH SUBTITLES, HEARD THAT I GOT IT W R O N G! It's Santa SIZE. I'll have to change that up lol

FUN FACT! “at this point I’ve adopted a stance of the less I know, the better” is my family’s motto up until recently

“I like the cut of your berg” is one of my FAVOURITE frosty-fying slang lines I’ve ever done! It’s a frosty version of “I like the cut of your jib” which was used in sailing in the 1700s ish to describe if an incoming ship was frens or not frens

-> I originally thought it was just some funky 20s slang, then googled it to make sure I was right and learnt the above!

-> the berg is short for iceberg--B likes the cut of Jacqueline’s iceberg, being the idea to maybe get rid of the awful recordings :)

Sometimes I’m like ‘these things don’t really need explaining’ but I get excited about my own work and then have to share how I got the ideas with everyone so ONWARDS I SUPPOSE

Man I miss multi-level lists! this Frostmas BTS has been in my drafts for FOREVER, and was the last one I did before tumblr switched to the new post editor

WHICH DOESN'T LIKE MULTI LEVEL BULLETED LISTS!

So it's kinda all over the place. My bad lmao.

LET'S KEEP ON KEEPING ON

Jacqueline realizing that she hadn’t updated everyone on what the elves thought of her nonsense was a BLESSING because I realized that I hadn’t addressed it, so thank you for that opportunity, Jacqueline

Archie's Guide to Important People in the North Pole: Big Man->Santa. Boss Man->Bernard.

I would like to take this moment to credit @shittyelfwriter with Archie’s existence in those few chapters of ROE, because I love him and always picture him as the elf playing the piano and going UGH and facepalming during Jack’s rendition of North Pole, North Pole (pictured below). THANK YOU FOR NAMING THE BOY, ANA!

The conversation between Jacqueline and Archie, that dripped sarcasm, was my favourite thing to write this chapter :D

The scene with Chrys give you weird vibes of all manner? Yeah, that was intentional. "Perfection" can be unsettling, after all

Bernard is definitely so DONE this year and it SHOWS -> That is exactly what I was going for, especially since I know that he's not normally

Okay so. Let's Talk About Chrys. TW: Sexual Themes

very embarrassing, but I got the concept from a series of fantasy erotica novels and I wish I was joking

(they’re called the World of Hetar series, very good, very very VERY smutty. I’d say it’s 60% SEX, 30% PLOT, and 10% SEX DRIVEN PLOT)

(I know people who know me are like YOU READ SMUT? YOU?? AN ACE??? and yes, I did, I read exclusively smut from the ages of 12-17 because my Dad worked for "Trash Romance Novel Company" and brought home books for free every month, and the books were, in fact, mostly if not totally smut)

Erotica aside, I quite liked how the author had built up the magical world, the beings, and how magic works in it

In the third or fourth book, called “The Twilight Lord”, the fairies ally with the desert princes who are some kind of magical fae themselves, and they create the Perfect Wife for the corrupt leader of the neighbouring continent to distract him from starting a war

She was a mix of his current 2 wives and the things he liked about them, and looked like the protagonist, Lara, who cursed him to not be able to fuck I shit you not and who he ALSO had a big huge thirst for which was GROSS because he was old as fuck and even though she’s half fairy, she was like. 12 or 13

And this new wife is able to GET IT UP with him, hence how he’d be distracted--he really liked sex (reminder: this is an erotica series)

So he’s too busy fucking her and then on top of that, she would divide the other two wives and basically bring the house down from the inside, neutralizing the threat of this corrupt sex loving mofo

And that’s where the idea of Chrys came from!

So basically tl;dr: Chrys was inspired by a spell a sexy bunch of desert princes in an erotica series did to make the perfect wife for their enemy and knock him right tf down :)

How this works with Cheri’s magic: same concept, less sex

Chrysanthemum is a Perfect Being, who is bound to a specific magibean. Chrys’s purpose is to be Jack’s Mrs Claus, and because she was made with dark magic she drains energy of those around her (except for jack’s energy bc he’s the person she’s bound to) and magnifies bad ideas

spoiler alert: in the long run, Chrys will be TOO perfect and TOO agreeable for Jack and he’ll grow tired and it adds to the whole “I thought this would get me everything I’ve ever wanted but it didn’t” long term theme I have going for Jack as Santa

but yeah

end tw for sexual themes. away from chrys we go!

battled with the “cultural appropriation” bit because I felt as though it may be insensitive but then I wrote it anyway because that’s what it is at it’s base :\

it was supposed to be a stand in? I'd go back and change later? then I didn't. We're rolling with it now lol

Have you ever heard Elf’s Lament by the Barenaked Ladies?

Because it’s where I got the Union Comment from

Then I was like “but DO THEY HAVE UNION???!?!” and remembered the “accident or design” thing and realized “OH they ARE their own union” and figured that in terms of a Santa like JACK, The council would step in (which they’ve done. and tried to do stuff. but haven’t had luck bc PLOT)

god Frostmas is exhausting. Villains are underappreciated for all the effort they put into for being on TOP of things

(in Korvo Solar opposites Voice) what fucking scene are we on. why are these so long. why did i do this to myself. FUCK

ANYWAY CIRCLING BACK TO THIS MESS OF A BTS!

This uniform thing was unplanned/meant to be just a footnote. Then. Well. THIS.

It is a decent feature of the Resort in the movie so, I guess it works out :)

FUN FACT: I was playing a very good dnd campaign at the time! And that's how Davian got her name, lol. One of the amazing NPCs was named Davian, and we had a really good session with them and the name stuck and boom! Into Frostmas it goes. Once again, Frostmas is proving to be a time capsule reminding me of wtf I was doing while writing these bad boys :)

I miss my friend's campaign ):

And yeah, this fight is one Jacqueline cannot win. this is on the elves. So what does she do? Goes back to her hyperfocus of destorying SantaJack

How? By figuring out wtf Chrys is >:)

STUPID DUMB CHRYS

Alright. Scene subheadings are back! Right on.

"Myles would be proud AND would probably have been able to connect the dots and figure out what was up, and then place it on a neat presentation board, to boot."

LEGATE DROP! Myles is Tooth Fairy's Legate! He's v sweet, a lil bit clumsy, SUPER into conspiracies--hence Jacqueline being like "MAN I WISH THAT KIDS WAS HERE, HE'D KNOW WTF IS UP"

So let's talk about BLINTER. Just to clarify: THEY WERE NOT ABOUT TO GET IT ON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DEN. This is just a typical post work day for them: start a fire, make a blanket nest, be cozy until kid 2, 3, or 4 come to harass them

Blaise is pouty bc they didn't even get a single cuddle in before Kid 2 came in like

And I was 100% referencing the meme lmao.

god tumblr killed the quality. I'll post it separately. ANYWAY

the Blinter and Jacquie scene was fun to write! This is one of the scenes where I was dropping very strong hints that Jacqueline was freezing--and Winter AND Blaise were noticing. Winter'll explain it all in Y11 ;)

FINAL RESORT

"You could really tell that graphic design was Chrys's passion"

another meme reference:

I think we, as a collective people using slang, should bring back "gag me with a spoon". Also some older slang! I try to sneak those in when I know of some to show. Y'know. AGE.

This whole scene with Jack and Chrys actually was me laying the ground work for FINAL RESORT. Trying to get in all of the booths we see, the petting zoo, and the different announcements about various activities set up before the double digit years! That was my goal :)

THE ELVES UNION AT WORK

Ah yes. the walk out. God, this uniform thing was meant to be small, but lord did it EVER go big. I'm actually okay with it--my y9 notes were so lacklustre, I was concerned it would be (you'll laugh I know) TOO SHORT lmao

No. Fr. Look at them.

"Because those outfits are a joke, and you wouldn't catch me dead wearing those."

Sassnard. We Stan.

"I'm so proud of all of my crew," said Davian. "Crimes against fashion should NEVER be tolerated!"

"And the break from the constant ruined showtunes, what a relief!" said Archie, leaning very far back in his stool."

The elves have their priorities lol. I Bet Archie and Davian are biffers.

Curtis on damage control was A) a stroke of genius on my part and B) the way I decided to start laying the groundwork for Customer Service Sales Person Curtis we see when Scott gets to the Resort! God, there is SO MUCH GROUND WORK FOR VARIOUS ITTY BITTY BITS WE SEE IN THE MOVIE, IT'S ACTUALLY INSANE. No wonder you all dig Frostmas so much. good lord

And then, we have it! Final Resort. Wholly heckeros! And yes, I did indeed name the Fire Marshall. Marshal. I'm a genius 🙃🙃🙃

""Course! It's lunch. I doubt anything will happen during lunch."

Famous last words, B-Man. And yes, I did that on purpose >:)

CHRYS UNMASKED. AND ALSO, IT'S CHERI!

Cheri's...interesting

While she is master of the dark witch arts, she isn't evil? Very chaotic. Kind of lets it slide a lot of the time when Witches use "dark" magic. Everything has a price, blah blah blah, it's not her place to tell people off about it--that's the other Grand Witch's place, Gwen, aka, Glenda, master of the light witch arts

And also, dark magic will take what it needs in response. She just makes sure people don't use it SUPER illegally. Otherwise she kills em. It's her favourite part of the job :)

Lawful Evil?? Idk.

FUN FACT: She gave Gwen the nickname Glenda, like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz (derogatory), and Gwen went, "oh! Glenda, like the good witch in The Wizard of Oz (affectionate)? you're such a sweet sister I'll take it :)" and now everyone calls her Glenda much to Cheri's (dis)satisfaction.

Cheri is very not serious and hates being called in for business unless murder is involved. She does NOT ignore any summons, ESPECIALLY from Mother Nature.

Hence why Tara had a easy enough time getting her in

But Cheri does NOT make things easy for people, nope!

"Hay, Jacquie" a la Catra going "Hay, Adora". I was watching SPOP at the time. It's a DAMN good show, Catra/Adora my BELOVEDS

FUN FACT: Only recently decided how Warlocks worked in my universe! They know everything and can guide ANY castor. It's like a reverse of Warlocks in DnD. They don't need a patron; they ARE patrons!

By RETIRING Cheri means that a lot of Warlocks went into Rosehaven with the Call. They were making BANK on the feuding fae factions.

Petty vengeance->one night stand with Jack where he said he'd call back, and didn't, which Cheri expected but any excuse for petty revenge is a good one! Good karma->Cheri explains it herself: if it helps the "good" forces, and she contributed to it, she gets a bit of a pass on being The Worst :)

OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE SNAP BACK INTO THE PRESENT

this was an idea I had had since like, the BEGINNING. Halfway through or so, Jack would bug Jacqueline in the proper timeline, to check in and also let her know that he'd like a turn and also, as a plot device so I could remind everyone it's a story of the past being told from the future, and plant the seed of "wait, is Jacqueline going to forget it? Or is she going to remember it?"

Is she? Well, you're not finding out until the Epilogue :)

It is just as jarring as I had hoped it'd be, especially since I forgot all about it! I was ready to title this section THE END and talk about Bernard's amazing exit.

But yeah, it was a fun reminder that this takes place POST redemption, TECHNICALLY, which is a lot of fun! And that was so pleasantly jarring. I'm pleased >:)

anyway

THE END: BERNARD'S STELLAR EXIT

if you listen to this version of the halo theme song on loop, you may enter the space I entered when I wrote this bit

anyway. i love Jack. He is. the Blorboest Blorbo EVER. But he did, in fact, steal Christmas for his own holiday and turned the park into a Resort. Implying that there is an overnight stay. Especially with a pamphlet THAT THICK. It;s not even a pamphlet. It's a fucking guide book. FUCK.

And like, there were no hotels that we saw. Maybe there are inns! I mean, the Winter Wonderland has rooms. But I digress.

REGARDLESS, something needed to happen to really get B-Man, well, GONE. And this was the final straw: Elf's houses for you to stay at, with your own personal elfsisstant!

It HURT to SUGGEST Jack would make the elves like. SERVANTS so I tried really hard to avoid that sort of thing--but yeah, they'd be like hotel staff but live in. Imagine being an elf and having to NANNY HUMANS?! FUCK

"That's what your emotional support sprite is for," I said.->Meme alert! "sir this is my emotional support x" meme lol.

Jacqueline gets to kick down doors, once again. Idk why she slams doors open so much? She just does lol

"...It's perfect," Jack said. "It's everything I've ever wanted." I tilted my head. There had been something about the way he said that that made me think that he did not believe that anymore"

I'M LIKE, DROPPING HINTS NOW AT JACK'S ENDGAME FOR FROSTMAS (since we already know Jacqueline's)

AND JACQUIE IS PICKING THEM UP!

I wanted to avoid "servant" related words, but B-Man is way more blunt than I am and we thank him for it tbh

"Really? Cause this is me, walking away."

SO THIS RAW ASS LINE WAS GIVEN TO US BY @shittyelfwriter YET AGAIN! WOMAN'S A GENIUS! We were chatting about BMan's exit and she sent a snippet with that line and I went "Ou. Yeah. That's GOOD" and did a bit of "do it different so they can't tell it's copied"

but credit is given where credit is due lmao! Ana's mind is like, BIG BRAIN when it comes to writing and connecting dots n shit :)

and there we have it! Frostmas BTS: Y9. Y10 coming to you SOON I hope! I'm clearing out my drafts. They're all just. Frostmas BTS and wips that have yet to see the light of day :3

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That answers my question I just completely forgot to send it in omfg I CANNOT let myself get distracted while replying anymore I literally like almost deleted this note thinking I already sent it in goodbye.

But anyways….……

LMFAOOO THANK YOU I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT!!! You’ll be the first to know if I ever actually start using it HAHA honestly you’d probably end up answering some boomer like tumblr questions of mine bc I’m ngl why’s there sm on this platform HAHA now that I think about it though I straight up just don’t post anywhere maybe I should start changing that…..

NO SO TRUE because I just KNOW they’re picking the juiciest stories like I’m not scrolling through that subreddit myself HAHA

Just doing my part for the Karasu community!!! Gotta kick start it somewhere yk hopefully I’m inspiring people to talk and request Karasu more often!!!! LMAO wait that’s actually kinda crazy though HAHAHA I guess the Hiori requester sniffed out your secret side character vibes before I did smh….lowk that is interesting though?? Ok my thought process was definitely 1) ok she knows Kaiser so she’s def read the manga 2) she has no character limits so I’m just gonna shoot my shot (it worked out in the best possible way omg) I’ve def seen blogs that only write for the main characters ****itoshis but a good amount of them do out only a specific handful of characters in their request rules….wait actually pause I think the main tipping point for me is actually when I ended up reading cherry tree and was like no fucking way Karasu mention??? Time to test the waters because I kid you not I loved the way you did cherry tree but I was also so fucking hooked on the Karasu cameo I was like oh em gee….karasu mention and HE TALKS?? Guys….so yeah!! Actually that also jogs my memory and clears up my own thoughts of how I first found you (again…??) my memory’s kinda bad if you couldn’t tell HAHAHA

Ok……Mira really trying to solidify the shower evidence…sus…/j

THATS WHAT IM SAYING HAHAHAAH ok but like I was a little surprised that they were the color scene I thought it would’ve been some Kaiser Isagi Rin looking thing with maybe mini side characters in the bg kinda like your current header! Stop did we just manifest ego glow up too??

That’s funny because I also haven’t watched but ik what you’re talking about because I remember seeing people freak out over it LMAOOO BUT FR omg shin ah so gorgeous??? Also omfg you’re so right??? The side by side of Hak and hair down zantetsu….the resemblance is uncanny….but FR S2 being my real male leads into the spotlight please….

Tbh I don’t have high hopes for the fandom but we’ll know in our hearts that Karasu is just a closeted sweetheart loser!!! Ok the Nagi cheater allegations and red flags are actually INSANE like how tf??????????? I seriously have no idea what people are on do you think bro even has the energy to cheat……

LMAOO you’re giving them a reality check on everyone’s behalf we thank you for your service o7

Honestly pop off LMAOO like who’s gonna go challenge your parents sooo also wtf????!!!! BRO DID WHAT???!!!! wtf I literally have no words what the helllllllll glad you’re safe now but omg I hope you never have to experience something like that again….um wdym you have more stories like that??????????? Idk if you’ve ever seen those wild tiktok sponsored posts of like this weird pheromone attractive perfume I think you need creep repellent you’re rizz is too strong…..wtf…..also ENJOY SWITZERLAND!!!!!

But omg another storm shshshs stay safe??? Manifesting your electricity holds up from now on HAHA I’d imagine there aren’t storms in Switzerland rn so….

-Karasu anon

LMAOO no i always get so distracted that ‘save draft’ button is my savior when it comes to answering asks but ik you can’t really do that when sending them 😭 if i ever take more than like a day to respond without explanation feel free to send a check-in ask because that means i’m either being unprecedented levels of offline or i just didn’t get it/see it!!

tumblr takes soo long to get a hang of i will be happy to answer any boomer questions of yours as i probably had the same questions when i first began using the app!! i will always be here for the reveal if/when it comes

i guess the side character vibes i give off are too strong…also hiori made a cameo in cherry tree alongside otoya and karasu so they might’ve made a similar journey as you LMAOAO especially because they mentioned in the request that they had read and liked cherry tree!! that’s so funny that that fic (which i wrote for the most basic character ever) is what led to side character fans finding me!! omg no because tbh there was no reason for karasu to be the one talking in that scene but i was starving and desperate to write him and i thought he could pull it off and now i’m so glad i did that!! and yeah a lot of people tend to only write for a few characters which i think is fair because i 100% get being uncomfortable writing for characters you’re unfamiliar with 🧐 me personally though…if i’m in a fandom there’s not a character in it I WON’T write for!! if i’m too unfamiliar with them i’ll just do research until i feel decent abt it (that’s what i did for the hiori request hehe read and reread his ln + wiki until i was like “okay i think i can do this”)

I SHOWER I PROMISE I SHOWER (not clickbait!!)

maybe this means the NEL arc is ending soon?? like they’re putting all of the coaches in the color spread because we won’t see them again for a while…honestly i really liked this (much more exciting than the last epinagi one) and i’m happy it wasn’t the kaiser + isagi + rin combo again!! all of the coaches are really interesting to me as they all show diff pitfalls of professionals sports (chris + vanity, snuffy + depression/burnout, loki + selfishness, lavinho + immaturity iirc?? and noa + being boring af /j) honestly i could read a spinoff abt all of them too!! and omg ego glow up too…we sensed the vibes in the air and we knew egonation was about to RISE

SHINAH MY BELOVEDDD omg i actually once started a fic for him that was the precursor for hurricanes / hummingbirds in many ways and i still think abt it sometimes but like the fandom for yotd is so nonexistent that i never got the motivation to finish it!! but i think i answered an ask abt it as part of a tag game once here if you’re in the mood for some mira writing while waiting for bfb!! no but the resemblance between zantetsu and hak is uncanny omg team v trio is actually team shoujo trio all of them look like they deserve to be male leads…zantetsu in a historical fantasy shoujo, nagi in a high school slice of life but also mental health focused shoujo, and reo in a ceo romance shoujo SKDJFHS they’re all so bf i love them

we will always know the truth abt karasu and that’s what matters 😩 no because i need to know…do the nagi cheater/red flag (which are unrelated to his laziness) allegations stem from him “leaving” reo during second selection?? because if so that’s insane to me there’s such a difference between joining a different soccer team and cheating on your romantic partner 😭 in epinagi even reo himself acknowledges that he SHOULD be happy for nagi and nagi is so ‘no thoughts head empty’ about it LKDFJGNS bro fr was putting the pieces together like isagi…”play soccer with isagi -> get better at soccer -> win world cup with reo 😄” HOW IS THIS A RED FLAG???

LMAOOO it’s so bad i feel like looking back my time in high school just sounds unreal?? i sent a picture of my eye to another guy i was friends with (in the same friend group as the other two ironically) to show him my new mascara and no joke he responded with an entire verse comparing my eyes to “the heavens” 😭⁉️ and there was also a point in my senior year when i kinda liked a junior on the soccer team (so bfb reader of me but like. reversed.) but for some reason everyone shipped me with the captain of the soccer team?? like people would harass my FRIENDS asking if i liked him…meanwhile i liked mr junior varsity who didn’t even get playtime 😓 it was so bad too i went to a soccer game and everyone thought i was attending to watch the captain, INCLUDING THE GUY I WAS INTO 😐 i went up to congratulate him after the game and bro fr said “did you see the captain play he was amazing” i just left at that point because what can you even do…these are relatively tame in terms of mira lore sadly KJSHGHDFK this is why i have never had a boyfriend or first kiss or anything like that 💔 they’re all CRAZY 😱

SWITZERLAND SOON!! unfortunately my dreams of finishing bfb before my flight are definitely not coming true sooo ig i know what i’m doing for the entire plane ride!! hopefully the lack of distractions will help me finish it up and then i can just proofread in my downtime and hopefully post at some point soon…feel like i’ve been teasing you all for so long but i promise it will be long enough to make the wait worth it (i hope anyways)

[sitp-recs]

Star Crossed by @gallifrey1sburning​

Harry/Draco (2021, T, 13k)

The Wimbourne Wasps and the Appleby Arrows have been bitter rivals for centuries. When a nasty brawl ends one of their Seekers’ careers, the teams need new blood to take up the slack and divert attention from the bad publicity. And who better to distract the press than the infamous Draco Malfoy and golden boy Harry Potter? Called back from successful careers abroad, the pair are once again to be pitted against one another in an epic feud. Too bad no one told them that before they started flirting…

I was inspired to post this rec - which has been sitting in my drafts for a long, long time - after seeing GB’s beautiful message honouring the Trans Day of Visibility 🏳️‍⚧️ I was touched by their powerful words and thought this could be a good moment to share some appreciation, as I’ve been following their microfics for a while but this is my first rec for one of their works. I initially planned to rec a trans Drarry fic or put together a proper reclist but I’m running low on time this week and since this was already in my drafts I hope you’ll forgive the very late post 💜 this was supposed to be part of a LCD 2021 rec series last year, but I never finished checking the fest and as my mental health took a turn for the worse I ended up shelving my half-drafted recs. I’m currently trying to clean my drafts as an exercise in self-acceptance and to let those recs, a labour of love celebrating something that brought me so much joy, see the light of day and maybe touch someone else’s heart too. I left the initial text intact so it would convey my happy thoughts after reading this light, fun, charming and romantic Romeo x Juliet AU:

I’m so so happy to be back with the single recs! Time is still an issue so I’m not sure about the frequency but I’m taking my time and trying to get my mojo back for good. I decided to start with recent fests and I’m doing it with style! I’ve been following Gallifrey’s short works on tumblr for a while now and I got a major weakness for Quidditch rivals & forbidden love shenanigans, so why not jump into this charming and sweet fic right away? For those who enjoy flirtatious banter and a smooth, light atmosphere with adult Harry and Draco going after what they want, this is a must read. The witty dialogue only made me fall deeper for these characters, Harry still very much “predictably impulsive” and not-at-all suave meeting a teasing and straightforward Draco is such a delight to read! I love how they’re portrayed here, and the way their personalities fit so well together.

The narrative flows nice and easy, full of cute flirting, fun references and exciting sneaking around, plus the softest love confession you’ll read this week. What’s more romantic than a star crossed love affair with your old school nemesis in a modern Romeo & Juliet style? I’m so here for this trope, btw anything involving Draco and Harry as opposite Quidditch players goes straight into my heart, I love the exciting potential for healthy competition and low key flirting of course! It’s such a fun trope to read, and it makes me incredibly happy to watch them finding freedom in doing what they do best - flying, bantering, loving. This was a very special treat, softly romantic and exactly what I needed after a stressful work day - sometimes you just want to enjoy a darling romance and remember why you love these two idiots. Enjoy!

Read on AO3

[amysubmits]

It’s Not Always Effortless

Moving this time has taken us more than twice as long as it has in the past. The week prior to moving was really stressful as we were trying really hard to find a place and the market is super crazy right now so that was way harder than we expected or had ever experienced when moving before. So big relief when we did find a place...but then moving has taken a long time still. It’d take me a couple paragraphs to explain why moving has been such a long process and it doesn’t really matter so, I’ll spare you the details but it took basically a week and a half to get fully moved.

Anyway...a week or so lots of stress pre-move, followed up by 9-almost-straight days (we did take one day off) of actually moving in the sense of lifting heavy crap onto a vehicle for one reason or another. 

I was physically and emotionally drained, but we only had one day left! That night we got news that a family member had tested positive for COVID, adding more stress. We had planed to do one final day of moving crap, starting early the next morning...but my mental health spiraled and I managed to nap but didn’t really sleep a regular nights sleep. 

I was surprised when @cynicaldom said something that made it clear he was still planning for us to finish moving that morning. He knew I hadn’t slept much. I would have rathered push it off a day. He wanted to just get it all over with. I tried not to throw a fit though I still kinda pouted. I did communicate that I was struggling and felt emotionally fragile. 

------

At this point in my draft writing I pause and say to myself “Wait. What am I trying to say again...?”  🤣

Okay, side-stepping a little so I can loop back around to what I actually wanted to say. 

We got through that day. I submitted to us doing another moving day, and it was fine. Well, at the end we tried to take some stuff to our storage unit which was blocked off, so the very last part got delayed yet another day. Very frustrating when we wanted to just have it all over with. Anyway....that morning, once we got started working at it for the day, I was distracted from my crankiness. So it wasn’t even that hard to push through, and I’m glad we got finished earlier rather than delaying it more than was necessary.    

Anyway. When we got back home that night I saw something on my Tumblr feed about how if a dom leads well, then a sub will submit effortlessly.  

I frequently just take general statements too literally. Most any sentiment that doesn’t clearly leave space for nuance makes my brain focus on the exceptions to the rule...even when I realize it was intended as a general statement. I know I’m just a weirdo. But, I found myself feeling defensive of CD. Because I struggled to submit that morning, and it wasn’t because he wasn’t leading well. 

So...although I know I took it too seriously, I still thought it might be worth discussing. There’s nuance involved with D/s in so many ways, and one of those ways is how effortless vs difficult it may be for either person or both people. My opinion is this...

If a sub is frequently struggling to submit, it may well be a sign that the dom isn’t leading well or isn’t earning the subs submission. Maybe the dom is leading in ways that are selfish, impulsive, or don’t meet the subs needs, or just are not well thought out so the sub is resisting submission in a self-protective instinct. You can be a natural follower but find yourself not easily following someone who is leading you into a trap, or who just isn’t carefully deciding the path they’re taking you down, right? 100% makes sense. Submission doesn’t mean you don’t think for yourself. 

But I also think it’s natural for subs to sometimes struggle to submit, or at least not effortlessly submit, even when they have lots of trust in their dom, even when their needs are being met by the dynamic, even when the Dom is making a reasonable call. It’s not fair to assume that the Dom is doing something ‘wrong’ simply because the sub is struggling with submission. Especially if the sub is under a lot of stress or is struggling with their mental health or anything like that. Many things unrelated to the dynamic can cause D/s to feel harder for the sub, and those aren’t necessarily anything the Dom has any control over.  Even without extra stress or mental health problems, I think it’s natural for submission to just not be effortless sometimes. 

Why? Because subs are real people with lots of preferences and opinions, and doms are people with different preferences and opinions. You can think your Dom is absolutely the bee’s knees, but they’re still going to have different opinions or make different decisions than you would make, sometimes. If you’re allowing them to make decisions for you based on their own judgement (rather than expecting them to defer to your views for how they should best lead) then you are likely to occasionally find that you aren’t excited about their decisions, sometimes. You may struggle to accept them at times.  

That doesn’t necessarily mean that either of you are wrong. It’s just the reality of having two people with their own ways of thinking, their own preferences, beliefs, etc and letting one have the final say. When living real D/s, there may be times where the dom is making decisions that just don’t have a right or a wrong answer, or there isn’t a ‘right’ way to lead, exactly. Like with CD deciding that we would finish up moving that day rather than wait. There just isn’t a right or a wrong there. And it’s okay that my top preference wasn’t his top preference, and that I struggled a bit with his decision. I don’t think it means anything is ‘wrong’ with either of us. I think it’s just part of real life D/s. 

[btsmosphere]

Crossing Paths - drabble from the Crossfire universe

request from @excusemyuwus -

I remember Tae said he had a crush on her while working on that project so now I kinda want to see his pov of that time and how he was holding being around his crush lol, not gonna lie gangster Tae all nervous bc he like someone is something want to see (also imagine how much the guys would tease him uwu)

tumblr ate your ask when I tried to answer it, sorry! this is the only part I had copied, but if it ever resurfaces, I shall answer there. for now it is still refusing to cooperate so I am posting like this! (update: the ask just returned, it is here)

~pairing: taehyung x reader ~word count: 1.4k ~pre-relationship, fluff, angst, slice of life, mafia au, college au ~rating: g ~warnings: vague mention of gang activity, this is a gang au after all, but it’s not particularly prominent

~a/n: thank you for your great request! this was so nice to come back to, I am so sentimental about this series as my first bts fic🥰takes me back to when I was just getting into bts… it felt hard to do it justice! because of this, sorry it took me a while to write, but I wanted to do it well, and again I kept the theme of making my ‘drabbles’ wayyy longer😅final big thanks to the site being frustrating and eating drafts and such🙃🙃but here it is, finally seeing the light of day! I hope you enjoy it x

“I can tell something’s on your mind, Tae.”

Jimin stared coolly at his friend. Looking over his shoulder guiltily as he unlocked the door, Tae found the other boy with his hands in his pockets, looking expectant.

All Tae could do was shrug as he elbowed the door open, heading to ditch his bag.

“Hey, Jimin’s right.”

A light flick on Tae’s forehead made him startle, looking up to find Hobi grinning, though his head was tilted to one side in question.

“What is it?”

Jimin’s shoulder nudged his own as they sunk into the sofa.

Tae checked his phone.

“It’s just a project for class, don’t worry about it,” he pocketed his phone, ignoring their gazes, “I gotta meet with my partner in an hour.”

“It’s okay, I wasn’t staying that long anyway,” Hobi slumped down too, having helped himself to a drink from the fridge, “I’m on watch with Yoongi across town.”

As the discussion turned to this week’s jobs and deals, Taehyung rested his head back against the sofa. The sounds of his friends’ conversation was like static. Instead, he was picturing the scene in class earlier, as the slideshow was flipped to show the project partners on the screen.

Tae hadn’t been too fussed, idly playing with his pen lid as he searched for his name. But when his eyes fell on it, he sat up straight.

Having only bumped into you a few times in class, he had never expected his heart to be hammering quite so hard as he quickly scanned the room for you. Sliding his things away, he had walked towards you as everyone began to file out, meeting you halfway as you did the same.

Leaning against a desk to keep his jittery hands occupied, he grinned at you.

Your returning smile, he noticed, was much more nervous, only flickering into existence for a wavering second. The two of you had only a brief conversation to sort out when you would meet, before you had practically scurried away.

His eyes had lingered on you as his smile slowly sank.

Unconsciously poking his tongue against his cheek, Tae wondered if you were afraid of him.

“Hey!”

A finger clicked sharply in front of his face. He blinked back at Hobi’s grin, Jimin bursting into laughter at his side.

“Just a project, my ass,” Hobi shook his head, dumping an empty bottle on the coffee table, “don’t wanna be late, do you?”

A radiant smile was tossed over his shoulder as Hobi left the room, front door clicking soon after.

Sending his best friend a knowing look, Jimin also gathered himself to stand.

“Have fun tonight, yeah?”

He winked. Tae protested, shooting up from the sofa with an affronted look.

“So it is a special someone?” Jimin giggled.

“You’re impossible,” Tae grumbled, trailing after him to the door, “it’s just a project, I told you.”

Jimin hummed in a way which made it very clear he didn’t believe him.

“Don’t scare them off, tiger,” he remarked, stepping outside.

Tae’s shoulders slumped. He was certain that was just what he had already done.

“I’m busy tonight. And my house isn’t free, so I can’t have anyone showing up here.”

Namjoon chuckled across the line.

“All this for a college project?” Clearly he had heard about this from the others. “If you could lend Kook some of your commitment to school, that would be great,” he teased.

Sighing, Tae spun around to survey the road outside his window, ruffling his own hair.

“You’re very funny, but I need to go. See you tomorrow.”

Tae was certain he would never hear the end of this from the others. It was true that he had firmly set aside time for your meeting today, even if it was only for a minor college presentation. But it was important to him.

He knew that this was the only time he would get together with you, and though it would end as soon as the presentation was given, he couldn’t help but want to make the most of it. At your last meeting, he had been largely distracted by the dizzying height of your apartment, leaving him shying back from any windows.

So this left you with his house today instead.

Arriving soon after Tae’s phone call, you were both soon seated on his floor. Though you mostly worked in quiet with occasional, quick conversation, it was not awkward. Your legs lay close together under the coffee table as you scribbled away diligently on its surface.

Glancing over the lid of his laptop as his fingers hung idly, Tae sighed. Watching as your pen swirled across your notebook, he let his eyes drift across your focussed features.

He swallowed as he did so, teeth tugging his lip. A light frown came over your features. He couldn’t take his eyes away from your lips as your pen lifted to your mouth, resting between your teeth as you mulled the work over, eyes flitting about the page.

Eventually, the lack of tapping at his keyboard must have got through to you. You raised your head.

Too late to divert his gaze, Taehyung cleared his throat and muttered a proposal for a break. Eager as well to put your work aside, you clambered from the floor to join him at his offer of a drink.

Moving through to the kitchen, he made casual conversation, asking after your dad. Last time there had only been a brief meeting, as he met Tae at the door before you hurried him away.

Picking up on his offer to chat, you teased Tae for his fear of heights, giggling over how he had screwed his eyes shut whenever he had come within sight of the view from your windows.

Of course, Tae tried his best to roll his eyes at you, but the smile dragging the corners of his mouth refused to be suppressed.

He poured your drinks. When he turned away to put the cartons back in the fridge, he took a breath, trying to settle himself. Why did he feel so flustered?

Squaring his shoulders a little more, he turned back, only for his hand to catch one of the glasses. It clattered against the surface, barely leaving time for him to jump back and avoid being splattered with its contents.

You hopped from your seat, ready to help.

Swallowing down his shock, Tae scratched at the back of his neck to hide his slightly trembling hand.

“Don’t worry,” he quickly muttered, flashing a nervous smile as he gathered towels and set to cleaning up.

Soft laughter followed from you. Still, you reached across to help.

Righting the glass and taking one of the cloths to clear up, your hand came concerningly close to Tae’s own. He kept his eyes firmly fixed on the countertop, his cheeks warm even as you finished and he was rooting in the fridge again for a refill.

You seemed miraculously unfazed by his flailing, though, he noticed as you finally settled beside each other sipping your drinks.

“So it went well?”

Jimin nudged a reluctant Tae, eyebrows wiggling all the time.

“Yes, fine,” Tae groaned, trying to shrug him off.

Jimin did stop, but only in favour of staring at his friend with doleful eyes.

“Don’t be like that. You’ll see her again. You literally share a class!”

“It’s nothing like that,” Tae refuted.

He even halfway believed it.

You had got on well together, but surely not more than could be expected of most classmates? He sighed a little as he thought of it. It had been fun, but there was no excuse to spend any more time with you.

Besides, sparing one night to work on a project was a little different to becoming friends, or even more���

There was a reason the bangtan boys stuck to themselves.

But as he reminisced, he knew he had a soft spot for you, even if it should come to nothing. The project was over, the presentation given, but he still remembered the way you bounced with excited relief after you had finished talking to the class. Your face was glowing as you high-fived him with a grin, the work having paid off.

There was still a hint of nervousness though, and you had only given a timid smile and a small ‘see you later’ before heading out of class.

And that was the end of it.

But Tae smiled to himself. It had been fun, and he knew he wouldn’t be sorry if you ever crossed paths again.

Thank you for reading! Reblogs and comments super appreciated always!!

Taglist: @aianloveseven​ @preciouschimine​ @un2-verse​ @ddaechwita​ @taegularities​ 

[kae-karo]

okay so im always curious about other people's (fic) writing habits and progress so i thought I'd ask how you do it!! like in the sense of outlining, first drafts, editing (or just writing and posting it straight up) but also if you have specific times of the day/week you sit down to write (for how long) or if you just write here and there!! stuff like. do you listen to music, watch movies/shows in the background? or a timer for sprints? it's always so interesting for me to see how others do it!!

awe hi dear this is so much fun!!! ty for asking!! i love talking meta abt writing lmaooooo

tbh the entirety of my 'outlining' or planning in any sense is like. vague idea tossed into the abyss of my personal discord with a general premise and some lines of dialogue/a scene idea (if i came up with any lmao) - i really just cannot outline stuff in too much detail or i lose interest i guess? most of the fun of writing for me is the process of figuring out how the story goes along the way, or like how i get from one major plot beat to the next?

usually writing A Story for me is a 2-stage process - i do my best to complete the story first, with minimal rereading (unless i had to set the story aside for a time and i absolutely need to maintain perfect continuity to proceed with the next part), then let the whole thing sit for at least a week while i work on something else before going in for any editing. it helps me basically act as my own beta lmao cause i just fully forget half the story while i'm working on smth else and then i can come back and edit with a fresh mind lmao

(also generally that bit always surprises ppl - that i finish a fic before i start posting? i really don't like posting a chaptered fic until it's completely finished as i have been known to get distracted while writing and move to other wips and i personally don't want to leave anyone hanging on an unfinished fic)

honestly weirdly enough i write mostly during downtime at work? like, that's often when i have the most inspiration and motivation. weekends are usually like unwind relax do nothing days, so i find it harder to work up motivation for writing unless i'm really inspired by smth lmaoo (this also applies to evenings after work lmao)

ahhhh i am always so impressed and shocked when ppl can do smth in the background while writing?? like even music without lyrics is too distracting for me LMAO i really cannot be doing Anything Else sldkjfkljsdf although i do have a bad habit of checking twt/tumblr when i get to even a brief moment of 'hm, where does this go from here?' while i'm writing but that typically doesn't last long before i run out of new posts and come back to writing lmao

i have done sprints in the past but honestly it works about as well for me as just just being like 'okay i'm gonna write now', unless i'm notably distractable that day and i really need a Reason to not go check twt/tumblr and Do Other Things while trying to write lmao. or if other ppl are doing sprints and invite me to join lmao but that's usually more for the community vibe than to help me get words done

honestly the only other thing i have is that i'm a huge proponent of following inspiration? which basically for me means that i am VERY prone to wip-hopping as inspiration or interest strikes lmao. benefits of course being that writing is almost always an enjoyable thing to do for me, drawbacks being that it can take me a while to finish stuff esp if it's longer lmaoooo. or, in the very extreme (but not uncommon) case, that i set a wip aside and don't really find any motivation to pick it up again (at least, not yet lmao)

ANYWAY thank u anon dear this was a lot of fun!!!! i love questions abt my writing process and other meta writing stuff so i am very thrilled u asked!! <3

[lemonluvgirl]

Hello! First off, love all your stories, including PMB and your BBBF and GC. When do you think you'll be able to update Golden Cages again? I've missed it so much! Thanks!

Hi! Thank you so much for reading my stories!! It's always very encouraging when someone expresses an interest in my writing!

I have actually been trying to work through the next chapter of Golden Cages for quite a while (5 months or so) and I kept getting stuck. 😔 But the other day I had a Skype session with my wonderful beta reader, Simone Snickers and we worked out a few things. So there's been progress on detangling the plot knots 🪢 that have been plauging GC.

And since you asked so nicely, I'm just going to be straight with you. I have actually been trying to finish PMLB first since there's like 7 chapters or so left for that fic. (While GC is only about half way through) That and I got distracted by a few writing ask prompts people sent me here on Tumblr and wrote a lot of short stories because I have impulse problems when it comes to everlark. That and there was a lot going on in real life that severely constricted my writing time and creativity. (Work, problems at work, over time put into work, etc.)

Having said all of that... I have just recently fulfilled many of my writing obligations and will be getting some time off from work soon because it's summer yay! Hopefully that will allow me to make progress on all of my works in progress including Golden Cages. I hesitate to post anything for that story because it's so near and dear to my heart and I want to make sure whatever I post is good quality. But, this long rambling answer is coming to a close, so thank you again for your continued interest. I have a few future snippets from future GC chapters I'm gonna drop here at the end to make up for everything.

GC snippit from future chapter: (this is still a rough draft FYI) 

(Peeta POV) 

There is a bitter empty feeling in my chest as I watch her on the screen, dancing with someone else who looks almost exactly like me. 

It burns into a slow, helpless ache that hollows me out and leaves me feeling like a shell. 

I keep telling myself not to react, not to lose it, but it's impossible. All around me dinner has come to an abrupt halt, as everyone in the mess hall watches the scene unfolding with rapt attention.

My hands are visibly shaking, as the velvety texture of her voice floats out from the screen and wraps itself around my brain. Her voice haunts me. Everytime I hear it it's like my body doesn’t remember that she’s hundreds of miles away. I’m tricked into feeling like I could just run to her if given half the chance. My heart pounds, and I have to fight the urge  to bolt out the door, or towards the tv. 

It hurts to see her, dressed up like a doll and passed between the two men. 

I have no idea what she’s going through right now, or what happens to her when the cameras aren’t rolling. Just the thought of anyone hurting her makes me go blind with rage. And yet with the performance she’s being forced to give, and the way the two men are looking at her, it is clear what Snow wants people to think. 

But I can’t look away. I almost can’t breathe. Not until they finish the song. 

And then he’s kissing her. Full on the lips, and she’s stiff as a board. Until she isn’t. And then his hands are all over her. I’ve never wanted to absolutely rip someone apart with my bare hands, but right now, I could do it. I could do it and not feel an ounce of remorse. I could do it and sleep like a damn baby afterward. 

When his hand slips down to cup her ass, everything inside me freezes up. The tension inside my body is unbearable, finding no outlet for the rising tide of fury that eats away at me as I stare and stare at the screen. 

I will fucking destroy him, I vow. I will beat him to a bloody pulp and then some. Until he can never use his hands again, or his lips. Him and every other worthless son of a bitch that has ever put their hands on her, to cause pain, or fear.  Until they are nothing but an unpleasant memory that I will soothe when she is safe in my arms again. 

The anger, and the desperation is so thick in my throat that I make a choking sound because of the increasing pressure. All around me I can hear stirrings of alarm, anxious whispers of worry. People are staring at the image of her stunned and horrified face that the Capitol camera people aren’t quick enough to cut away from. 

Or maybe they stay on the close up of her face on purpose, out of some sick and twisted enjoyment. I watch as she stumbles away, and falls back against the chest of the dark haired man. The one who looks like Gale. He puts his arm possessively around her. 

I look over to see the real man in question, sitting with his siblings and mother. Gale’s face is like a hurricane of anger, dark and swirling with barely contained emotions. 

He is not the only one. I look at Haymitch and Deen beside me and they wear similar furious expressions. Prim, who has been trying her best to appear unaffected, is now crying openly. Two lines of tears run down her angelically sweet face and I forget my anger, and move to comfort her. But Deen beats me to it, turning in his chair and wrapping one arm around her slim shoulders. She turns to weep into his shirt and I swallow the thick emotions building in my throat. The other victors that sit with us also look sickened and slightly panicked. Annie in particular has tears in her eyes and casts me such a pitying and knowing look that it hits me like a rock to the chest. 

 It's the empathy in her eyes that gets me. 

Because Annie loves Finnick. Who’s been sold over and over again for years. How many times has she watched the man she loves in the arms of another on the screen? How did she cope with knowing that all of it was against his will? And how has she not gone completely insane yet? I certainly feel dangerously close to falling apart completely. 

 I can practically hear Snow taunting me. Look at what I can do to the person you love most. Look at how helpless you are. You think you’re safe and protected in District 13. But you’re not. I can get to you anytime I want. I can hurt you. I can make you bleed. I can drive you mad. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

...

So yeah, there’s a little bit of proof that GC is alive and relatively well in my heart dear reader! I shall make more of an effort to get the next chapter out as soon as I get some more free time! Hope you liked this snippit and sorry for the super long answer! 

[yuziyuanapologist]

i got this as an ask several weeks ago, from the angst prompt list that i cant be bothered finding again, wangxian + “shit, are you bleeding?” unfortunately sometimes tumblr decides that i must pay for my crimes and deleted the ask instead of saving it as a draft. so. but i had the fic saved! so once more with feeling:

it’s here on ao3, 2.9k words, canon divergence from ep33, no big warnings but mostly-non-graphic injury description and also my personal vendetta against the lan clan’s rules.

big thank u to @goldencorecrunches for reading this over and generally being the best

It’s been a strange few days. 

As Wei Wuxian wakes up from what feels like a dream, he finds himself somewhere he’s never been - yet somewhere familiar, all the same. The sound of soft notes - the song of clarity - floats through to his consciousness, he turns his head to the side, smiling gently at Lan Zhan, deep in concentration with his fingers on the strings.

It’s not the way he would have chosen, to come here to Gusu, but he could get used to it. He’s certainly grateful for it, brought here safe instead of dragged back to Lotus Pier - or, indeed, slaughtered where he stood. 

Zidian gets no more pleasant, in a new body. Sixteen years away clearly has not mellowed his sh- his ex-shidi. 

He has questions, though, as to why the sixteen years have worked in what seems like the opposite way on Lan Zhan. Wasn’t he desperate to scold Wei Wuxian before, wasn’t he desperate to - drag him back here to Gusu?

Well, he managed. But it - well, either it was never as bad as he thought it would be in his last life, or Lan Zhan’s intentions are more gentle now. Sweeter. He’s simply playing for Wei Wuxian, dressed all in white save for -

“Shit, are you bleeding?”

The notes come to a discordant halt as Wei Wuxian forces himself to sit. Lan Zhan straightens his shoulders - the shoulders that, down one side, are tainted with a stain of dark red.

His only answer - typical Lan Zhan - is “Mn.”

“Lan Zhan - wh-”

“Do not panic,” Lan Zhan says, even as Wei Wuxian hauls himself to standing, his legs buckling beneath him in protest. Lan Zhan stands in one fluid motion, and crosses the room to take Wei Wuxian’s arm, and lift him back to the bed. 

Wei Wuxian protests half-heartedly, but only from sitting - he really is weak in this new body.

“It is nothing unexpected,” Lan Zhan says, quiet resignation filling his voice. “Stay.”

“Lan Zhan-“

But Lan Zhan has already crossed the room, moved behind the screen in the corner, and Wei Wuxian’s vision is fuzzy already from standing so quickly - he can’t protest, or follow - he can only wait.

It’s not long, a few minutes at most, that Wei Wuxian passes with his head in his hands, trying to fit this information in somewhere that makes sense - although, of course, he’s been gone sixteen years. It could be anything.

Lan Zhan emerges, and his robes are once again pure white, as if nothing had ever happened.

He settles back behind his guqin, and his fingers meet the strings once again, soft notes melting into the evening. 

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian speaks up, even though, despite the sixteen years since he's known him - he knows he will give no answer

As predicted, he gets only silence. 

"Was it Zidian? Did Jiang Cheng-" he cuts himself off with a shake of his head. That's not how Zidian works, and he knows it. The only likely part of that story is Jiang Cheng, and perhaps - but Lan Zhan was so unconcerned, it can't be a recent injury. And it is nothing unexpected - 

"Is it a curse?" 

"You ought to have paid more attention in your lectures here." 

Wei Wuxian scoffs. “I’ve been dead for sixteen years,” he reminds Lan Zhan. “Even if i had paid attention, would you really expect me to remember?”

Lan Zhan doesn’t respond beyond a slow blink, one that could disguise the edges of a smile - but it’s been sixteen years. It could just as easily be anything else.

After too long in silence, Wei Wuxian lets out a sigh. This isn’t how he wanted to begin to make amends, this isn’t who he would choose to be, on his second chance. Overbearing, insistent, prying. That was for Lan Zhan, that was for sixteen years ago. “Lan Zhan -”

“It does not matter,” Lan Zhan interrupts, and his voice falls to soft tones, evocative of tears that no one has shed. “You are here.”

*

Blood runs slowly into the water of the Cold Springs. Wei Wuxian watches, his mouth slack with worry. For all that Lan Zhan had acted as though it was nothing to concern himself with - and for all that he had then refused to speak more about it - this wound is deep. It cuts from the top of his shoulder blade, all the way down below the water, and the blood flows thick and steady.

There are other scars, too - long healed, but that might once have been just as deep.

“Lan Zhan -“

As soon as the words sound in the quiet air, Lan Zhan's tranquility is stopped  - he flees the water and dresses before Wei Wuxian can even finish the sentence. But - on his way out of the water - he exposes a second wound across his lower back - shallower, than the first, the blood thin and only trickling from the wound - but still it bleeds.

Lan Zhan moves to face him on the bank of the stream, tying his robes closed. He blinks slow, and opens his mouth at the same time as Wei Wuxian. “Wei Y-”

“You said it wasn't anything to worry about,” Wei Wuxian says, barely even trying to keep the accusation out of his voice. “This is - this is -" he lets it rush out in a breath - there aren't words for what he means to say. 

"It is nothing to worry about," Lan Zhan repeats, without meeting Wei Wuxian eyes. But there's a pallor to his skin, a weakness to his breath - he takes a step, and stumbles. 

"Lan Zhan!" 

"I am fine," says Lan Zhan. "My body will adjust." 

"What do you mean? Can you not give me a straight answer?" 

Lan Zhan's eyes drift shut. "I need to rest." He moves past Wei Wuxian and starts down the path. 

Wei Wuxian is not so easily distracted. "You need a doctor, Lan Zhan," he tries to insist, reaching for Lan Zhan's arm, but he's shrugged off in an instant - and though it's weak, Wei Wuxian has almost no choice but to let go. He follows along, though, hand inches from Lan Zhan's arm in case he needs to hold him up.

A minute later, Lan Zhan replies in a low voice. "No doctor of the Cloud Recesses can help." 

"What? What do you mean?" 

But try as he might, he gets no further answer from Lan Zhan, until they're back in his jingshi and Lan Zhan settles cross legged on the floor, eyes falling shut and yet doing nothing to slow the red bloom on the back of his white robes. 

"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian tries again, but he is ignored. "Lan Zhan, at least -" a solution comes to him. "Do you have a needle and thread, then? Preferably silver, but I mean, I get that we can't all be Wen Qing," he laughs a little to himself, and feels the pull of guilt down at the bottom of his stomach. She's gone, says his chest. Sixteen years gone. And - that's enough time to be fine, says his head. 

Lan Zhan doesn't reply. 

"I will tear this room apart, Lan Zh-" 

"It is against the rules." 

"What, to have needle and thread?" 

"To stitch the wound." 

None of this adds up in the slightest. Wei Wuxian falls into sitting beside Lan Zhan so that he's facing him, leaning his weight on his hands. 

And, not that he expected otherwise, but Lan Zhan does not look at him. 

"Why -" 

Lan Zhan lets out a breath, as close to a frustrated sigh as he has likely ever been. 

"You have to know I'll keep asking, Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian grins, shifting so that he can knock his shoulder into Lan Zhan's. "Just tell me." 

"It is a punishment," says Lan Zhan. "The lesson has not been learnt, so the wound will not heal." 

Wei Wuxian feels all traces of mirth vanish from his face. 

"You mean," he swallows. "The section of the rules that I once asked about - the one that Zewu Jun assured me was about an outdated practice that hadn't been used for seventy years?" 

A moment's silence. Then - 

"Mn." 

"What could you have possibly done - what could you still be -" he's incredulous, disbelieving, but the answer dawns on him before he finishes the sentence. "Oh." He exhales all of the energy, lets his anger become cold and sharp, a means to an end - a flavour of fury that feels, perhaps thankfully, a little less easy than it had been in the last life - but he still knows it well. "It's me, isn't it?" 

Lan Zhan's eyes open, falling on Wei Wuxian, softened with worry, creased with pain, and yet truthful in silence. 

"Lan Zhan, I can't -" 

"Stay," Lan Zhan says - pleads. "My body will adjust." 

Already, Wei Wuxian is shaking his head. "How can I -" 

"I lost you, before," Lan Zhan says, voice shaking, strangled, almost inaudible. "It would hurt more - to lose you again." 

It softens Wei Wuxian's anger, and yet fuels it. "Lan Zhan." 

And yet, he knows where his talents lie. In mischief and craft, in deviance and trick. 

"I'll make you a deal," he says, and though Lan Zhan's eyes have fallen shut again, there's a shift to his brow, a worry and a resignation. "I'll stay. If - you let me stitch you up." 

Lan Zhan swallows. "It is against the rules," he says weakly. 

One side of Wei Wuxian's mouth pulls up in disgust. "If you think I ever cared about that, you have the wrong measure of me." 

He's awarded with the barest hint of a smile,but still no agreement. Coming to a decision, Wei Wuxian reaches into his robes for a blank talisman, and without casting anything onto it, he places it down on Lan Zhan's lap. 

"Hostage situation," he smiles. "Freeze talisman. Lan Zhan, whatever will you do?" 

Lan Zhan opens his eyes to glance down. "Wei Ying," he says. "This is blank." 

"Mm, pretty sure you can't move, actually, so," Wei Wuxian tails off with a mischievous shrug. "Needle and thread? Or should I go?" 

“Don’t go,” is the response, so quiet and desolate that Wei Wuxian almost caves - but this is for Lan Zhan’s own good. “The drawer behind the screen.”

Wei Wuxian smiles, hand to Lan Zhan’s forearm in thanks as he stands. 

True to the request, Lan Zhan stays exactly as he is while Wei Wuxian digs around for everything he needs; needle and thread; a basin of water and cloth; bandages, too. He returns to kneel carefully behind Lan Zhan, and hesitates with his hand a finger’s breadth above his shoulder.

“Lan Zhan - can I -” He finds the edge of the robe with his fingers, brushing the skin of his neck.

There’s an almost imperceptible nod - and - a shudder? -as Lan Zhan reaches for the tie of his robes, and loosens it, enough to shrug the robe off his shoulder down to pool at his waist. Half-dried blood sticks the fabric of his undershirt to the wound, and Wei Wuxian tries not to wince along with Lan Zhan as he pulls just a little too roughly, murmuring an apology. 

It’s not that he’s ever seen blood before, of course not - but it’s been a long time since he’s seen Lan Zhan in any pain, and it does not get any easier.

“Lan Zhan,” he keeps his voice low as if the volume will also cause pain, and lifts a damp cloth to the site of the wound, to ease the pull. “I know you said - you want me to stay - but -” He finally manages to tug the shirt away, exposing the wound for how deep it truly goes. “I’m not worth this.”

“You are.” It’s a tone that allows no arguments, a certainty that allows no doubt. All Wei Wuxian can do is believe it. Or - well - leave his rebuttal unsaid.

He shakes his head, for himself, since Lan Zhan won’t see it, and sets about cleaning the wound. The flow of blood is steady - not lethal, of course it couldn’t be, if a lesson is supposed to be learnt by the end, but it is enough that, no sooner than Wei Wuxian has wiped it away, more has taken its place, and soon enough he’s left with a blood-soaked cloth and a wound that still pours.

His hands have never been steady, but when sewing up his own wounds back in the Burial Mounds (“Just give me the needle, Wen Qing, I can do it myself”) it hadn’t mattered - because the only pain he was dealing with was his own, and he deserved it - he could barely feel it anyway. Here, now, with Lan Zhan soft before him, hands resting on his knees and shaking every time the wound is disturbed, he needs to be strong, stable, careful.

He lifts the needle. “Lan Zhan - it’ll hurt.” 

He thinks, anyway. He thinks it used to hurt.

The only response he gets is a determined hum, the muscles below his fingers tensing. 

“Okay,” he says, and sets to work. As he does, he desperately searches for something to distract Lan Zhan with - every time the needle goes in he tenses - slight enough to be unnoticeable, but clear enough that even Lan Zhan can’t hide it. 

He could joke about it - well, if you won’t let me leave, this is the only option - or he could talk of something else -  but all other subjects have evaded him since he’s been faced with this wound and the second, with the countless other scars, with the bare skin of Lan Zhan’s body, before him, slashed and destroyed for protecting - 

“You didn’t only protect me,” he says quietly, distracting himself enough to run his finger over one of the other scars. “These other scars -” he reaches one unlike the others, threaded through with familiar black filaments. “There was one for each of us?”

Lan Zhan lowers his head, but does not respond. It’s close enough to a nod, and Wei Wuxian mimics the gesture, before returning to the task at hand - his eyes falling on the second wound, barely even bleeding, but unmistakably still open. He tries to fit it in, between everything else he knows - but finds no space for it. “And this one? Was there -”

He cuts himself off before he dares to hope. It will only lead to disappointment.

“It -” Lan Zhan exhales shakily. “It’s - different.”

Wei Wuxian can say nothing to the dismissal, knowing that Lan Zan will say no more, but narrows his eyes.

He’s close to finished, now, and the stitches seem to be holding so far. But - it’s not a permanent solution.

He lifts Lan Zhan's undershirt from the floor, and shakes his head at the bloodstain. 

"Lan Zhan, where do you keep spare clothes?" he asks. "I'm done here, but you can't exactly put this back on." 

"I will -" he starts to stand, but Wei Wuxian catches him by the waist, pulling him back down. 

"Stay still," he instructs. "You're injured." 

He - for some reason, he can't bring himself to let go of Lan Zhan, now, though he shows no signs of moving again. Instead, he keeps his hands where they are, not holding tight - not even holding, just - touching. His Lan Zhan. 

He strokes his hands up and down Lan Zhan's bare skin, testing his limits, his eyes trained carefully on the wound - both to make sure he doesn't disturb, and simultaneously deep in thought about it. Lan Zhan's breath comes unsteady with hands on his skin, but not - if Wei Wuxian is correct - upset. 

"It's been sixteen years," Wei Wuxian says absentmindedly. "And you still think I'm worth this." 

"Yes," Lan Zhan says, with no trace of doubt. "You are." 

Wei Wuxian can't help but let out a huff of laughter, letting his head fall forward to Lan Zhan's uninjured shoulder. "You're so -" he sighs out whatever it was that he was going to say - his mind can't summon the right words anyway. 

With his eyes on his - admittedly imperfect - needlework, he conjures other questions.

“This discipline whip that they used,” he says, letting calculating anger control his thoughts but trying his hardest to keep his voice soft. “Where is it kept?”

He’s almost patient, waiting for Lan Zhan to respond, but when more seconds pass, he prompts “Lan Zhan?”

“Why do you ask?”

As if he doesn’t know. “Any talisman, however complex, can be reversed. Even on a spiritual tool.”

“It is against -”

“If you want me to stay,” replies Wei Wuxian. “Then I have to try.”

For a moment, he wonders if Lan Zhan will refuse him. If he will say, after all, that perhaps he has come to his senses, perhaps the rules are more important - but at long last, he sighs. 

"The storeroom behind the library pavilion. It is guarded during the day, and warded in the night." 

"Good thing I've broken your wards before, then," Wei Wuxian smiles, glancing out at the still bright sky. Later, then. He smiles to himself, and slides his hands forward, pulling Lan Zhan into an embrace - one that he could easily shake off, but doesn’t. In fact, his shoulders, tense as they had been, settle into relaxation, a breath of calm. “I suppose I should get you a shirt.”

Lan Zhan moves his hands to cover Wei Wuxian's, leaning his head back against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder and turning to bury his face into his neck. His eyes are shut - he’s almost smiling.

“Stay,” he murmurs.

Wei Wuxian can't help the quiet laugh that escapes him. "I already said I will, Lan Zhan."

[winterhawk-olympic-bang]

How To Edit Your Writing

Guest Poster: Chronicwhimsy

Here is our final Writer Workshop post, written by Chronicwhimsy. Have a read and then head over to the Discord Server where we have a channel for you to take part in a discussion based on the post, with chances to share your own ideas too.

Editing: a drive-by guide

Hi, my name is Claire, and I’m an editor.

(Hi Claire)

I’ve been asked to give a quick guide on tips for editing your stories, as I’ve been a beta/editor for various fanfic writers over the years. I’m a professional editor, working for a publishing house in the UK, and I offer independent freelance editing too, via my website. I’ll be on the Discord server answering questions this evening, but I’m also happy to chat to people either through my website or even if you wanted to drop me a line on tumblr.

The key thing to remember about editing is that the end goal is to make your story the best it can be, and make sure your initial idea comes across as clearly and purely as you first imagined it. It’s about ensuring that the lines of communication between you and your reader are 100% open.

To do that, you need to have finished your story, because you can’t fix something that doesn’t exist.

Then you edit.

What now?

So, you’ve finished your Winterhawk Olympic Bang Fic, and you’re wondering what to do next?

The very first, and most important thing you should do? Celebrate. I mean congratulate the hell out of yourself, pat yourself on the back, and have some cake. Finishing stories is hard. Getting through a first draft is one of the trickiest parts of writing, so you should be proud of yourself, and proud of your story.

Because in a short while, editing is going to make you hate both.

I mean that in the nicest possible way of course, but you absolutely are going to be thoroughly sick of this whole thing by the time you’re done, and you’re going to question everything you’ve ever written. You’re going to get a close-up view of all your narrative bad habits which will make you think you’ve never had any skill at all, and you’re going to re-read your work so many times that it’ll feel trite, old, uninspired. This is normal and it is your brain lying to you. If you remember nothing else, remember that!

“The writing itself is no big deal. The editing, and even more than that, the self-doubt, is excruciatingly impossible.” Jonathan Safran Foer

Don’t lose faith! Editors and editing exist for a reason, no first draft is perfect. You’ve done something amazing in finishing, and now you’re going to make it incredible.

Before You Start - Take a Break

You know the phrase “can’t see the wood for the trees”? It could just as easily be “can’t see the story for the words.” It’s never recommended to go straight into editing as soon as you finish writing, and part of the reason for that is because you’re too deep in the story to be able to assess it objectively, or to catch things that are missed out because you know they’re there, but the reader wouldn’t.

“Once it's done, put it away until you can read it with new eyes. When you're ready, pick it up and read it, as if you've never read it before.” Neil Gaiman

Most writers and editors advocate putting a story away for a month or so before returning to edit, so you’re looking at it with fresh eyes. Obviously, with a Big Bang (or other fic event) this sort of time is usually at a premium! Try and make as much space as you can while still leaving yourself time to edit.

If you really don’t have any time, one trick that can help is changing your location. If you write in your room, can you relocate to your kitchen? Or a café (if you can safely)? Could you print it out? (Printing Top Tip: if you do print it, try and do it double-spaced - this makes it easier on the eyes, and gives you room to make notes. Also, serif fonts can often be easier to read than sans serif fonts, as it gives stronger distinctions between different letters.)

The Filter System

I like to think of the editing process as a series of different filters which, when used one after the other, produce a finely-sieved finished product. Each filter stage has slightly smaller holes than the one before it, as you look increasingly closely at your work.

Filter 1: Structural editing

Does the story make sense? Is the pace okay? Do all the scenes work where they are, or would they be better elsewhere? Do some scenes need to be there at all? Is the characterisation consistent? Does anyone change names halfway through? Did you forget what time of year it was set halfway through?

Filter 2: Line editing

Is this phrase as tight as it could be? Have you repeated yourself anywhere? Does this sentence add anything or does it throw the pace off? Have you gone overboard with adjectives and similes? Have you been too sparse with them?

Filter 3: Copy editing

Is your style consistent? Did you start writing in present tense and switch to past tense? Could this scene transition be snappier? Are there any bits that you want to tidy up? Have you left any half-finished sentences because you got distracted before you could end it?

Filter 4: Proofreading

Is everything spelled correctly? Have you caught all the strange grammar mistakes?

Some of these things might be picked up by your beta reader if you have one. Different beta readers have different styles, and also they will work based on their relationship with you and what you prefer. Some may stick to proofreading and consistency-checking, others may be more confident to dive right in and look at structure, pacing and characterisation. Some may work through the process with you as you write, others may only look at the story when it’s complete so they can get a full overview. There is no right or wrong answer, and having a conversation with your beta about your respective styles at the start can help you work better together!

Filter 1 - Structural Editing

For this stage, you want to read your whole story through from start to finish, and resist the urge to tweak anything to begin with! You will want a way of making notes as you go through because as you do, you’ll make yourself a cheat-sheet to help you with your line edit. Things to keep track of:

Character name spellings

Character ages

Character relationships (drawing a relationship web can be very helpful to visualise this!)

The time span of the story - the date it starts, the date it ends.

As a subset of this, I find it can be very helpful to set up a spreadsheet with a timeline of what happens in the story, and who is involved. Doing this both chronologically for the characters and in order of how it happens in the story can help you keep track of what characters know when, and also when the readers find out certain information. You might have one of these from when you were planning your story (as detailed in Sara Holmes’ workshop). If you’ve kept it up to date with changes to the plot and structure as you’ve written, this will be super helpful.

At this stage, you’re looking to see if everything works as a consistent story. You want to check to see if it feels like it’s the right pace, or if there are bits where it drags or rushes through the action. Why is this? Are there scenes which aren’t adding anything to the progress? Could they just be referred to in passing, or removed entirely without impacting the story? Are there other scenes which need to be added to provide more detail and growth? Is there anything that you as a writer know that is essential to the story, but you forgot to actually put in the text?

“Crafty writers...don't allow Exposition to form Lumps. They break up the information, grind it fine, and make it into bricks to build the story with.” Ursula K. Le Guin

You’re also looking to see if the characters feel true to themselves all the way through. Do the relationships spark? Do they sound like themselves? Can you hear them in your head?

Some people recommend doing several structural edits, with a different focus each time. One pass to look at the pacing, one pass to look at the characters, one to look at the story arc. You’ll work out what floats your boat, but you will be re-reading this story a lot of times before you’re done editing - which is why it’s very important to write what you love and want to read! You’ll go through many stages of hating this story before you let it go, and that will be even harder if it wasn’t something you enjoyed in the first place.

Filter 2 - Line Editing

So you remember I told you to make all those notes during your structural edit? Here’s where you’re going to use them. Now’s the time to go through your story line by line and check that the details in your cheat sheet are correct all the way through the story. I’ve written a novel that I initially set in November, but by the time I finished it, I’d decided it was taking place in early May. I had to go back and fix all the dates and weather descriptions to make sure the action hadn’t actually been yeeted forward six months spontaneously in the middle of a conversation.

Arguably, the line edit will be the most painful part of editing. At this stage, you will be taking a fine-tooth comb to everything you have written, examining it to within an inch of its life, and casting judgement. You’re going to find every stylistic tic you have (for me, everyone is constantly quirking their eyebrows and smirking like they’ve got cramp in their facial muscles), and you’re going to get rid of them (a person only has so many eyebrows, and they can only quirk so far). Now is the time to kill your darlings - don’t hang on to anything unless you feel it’s really doing a job to further the story and the characters.

“Kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler's heart, kill your darlings.” Stephen King

If you have ever worried about the unbearable sensation of being Known, the line edit is where you will experience that with every word, and you’ll be doing it to yourself. This is when the doubts will really start to creep in and you will maybe feel like everything you write is unoriginal, derivative trash and unfit for human eyes.

Here I’ll reiterate what I said above:

This is a normal feeling, everyone experiences it when editing. E V E R Y O N E.

It’s a lie. No-one else will ever read your story in this state, no-one else will ever read your story this closely. Of course it feels obvious and uninspired to you - you wrote it. It’s your idea, and you’ve read it several times, it holds no surprises for you. (I may be projecting my feelings from every time I’ve edited something here, but…)

You’ll also be catching any ELEPHANTS or whatever your mammal of choice for placeholder text is that you’ve stationed throughout the story as a flag for you to come back and add in a name, or a food, or a song title later. You know, the things you decided were a problem for Future!You. I have bad news, the future is now.

Top Tip: if you have changed someone’s name halfway through, DON’T for the love of Mike, just do a straight find and replace to correct it. Because that’s when you suddenly find out how many other words actually contain names (Mark became Bill? That’s great, until your characters are going to the superBillet to buy groceries). Some word processing programmes have a “whole word” option which is your friend, otherwise ensure to put spaces either side of the word when you search. If you don’t, you’ve just made another horrible job for yourself...

Filter 3 - Copy Editing

Once you’ve made it out the other side of the Line Edit (and given yourself a nice treat to congratulate yourself because that stage is HARD), we get onto copy editing. This is basically the set-dressing stage. You’ve built the house, you’ve decorated the room, and now you’re just making sure every bit of furniture is in the right place for optimal feng shui.

Here’s where you go through and go, do I really need a dash here, or could I just use a comma? Could I use fewer commas? Could I go in and move all of @kangofu_cb’s commas around because I’m the sort of person who will come into your house and change how you hang your toilet paper or where you keep your ketchup.

Now is the time to be as picky as possible, like you’re an interior designer for the most demanding client in the world and the ornament must be exactly equidistant from both ends of the mantlepiece and facing precisely south-west. Things that may have just survived your line edit will be measured again, and if they’re found wanting, then they get binned.

“Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very’; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.” Mark Twain

Another thing you might like to do here is check that all your features and things are correct. Did you make a wild claim about the lifecycle of salamanders, or the average price of corn and then never go back to verify this? Take a second to just do that now. It may be that you decide it’s not a problem (I received one copy edit note saying that an idiom used in a book wasn’t recorded until 200 years later, and I made the editorial decision that no-one would care), but for bigger things you may want to make sure you’re accurate.

If you google it (as I just did, to make sure I was definitely giving you the right information), copy editing is often conflated with line editing, and that’s because in reality a lot of the elements of copy editing actually wouldn’t usually be done by the author, and are probably irrelevant to fanfic. The copy editor is responsible for ensuring the book has a consistent grammatical style in line with the preferences of the publisher (em-dash or en-dash, curly quote marks or straight ones, how you deal with acronyms, what needs to be italicised, etc. etc.), which isn’t necessarily required for fanfic. In reality, for fanfic I’d use this stage as a second, lighter line-edit to see where things can be tightened up in phrasing, as well as perhaps a preliminary proofread where you start to mark up any spelling errors.

Filter 4 - Proofreading

By this stage, you’ll be exhausted, and sick to death of the blasted thing. But the end is in sight! Now you’re onto the proofread. This is another close read, where you go through and check for spelling errors, typos, missing full stops, strange formatting stuff (which probably will be less of an issue as AO3 basically makes everything uniform anyway).

Before you even start this, change your font.

We’ve all been there, thought we’d caught every spelling error, every weird typo, only to spot six immediately after posting. That’s because after a certain point our brain becomes used to the font we’ve written in, and will automatically correct things that aren’t right. AO3 has its own unique formatting - colour, spacing, font - and the minute your fic appears on there in this new format you brain wakes up and is like “oh shit, yeah, that’s not how it should be.”

By changing the font before you proofread, you preempt this step.

Another thing to remember: it’s unlikely you will ever catch every mistake. Published books regularly go out with a smattering of typographical errors throughout the text - how many first editions of books are valuable because of misspellings that slipped through the net? You’re only human.

“Connie's other job was proof-editing which she did very badly. Transferring the author's corrections to a clean sheet of proofs was something Connie was unable to do without missing an average of three corrections a page, or transcribing newly inserted material all wrong... she put angry authors' letters about the mutilation of their books under the cushion of her chair to deal with later.” Muriel Spark, A Far Cry from Kensington

Often, spelling errors and things you would look for in a proofread are things that a beta reader will pick up as they go, as they’re the easiest things to spot, but it’s also worth looking over yourself for anything your beta might have missed.

Whether you decide to follow any or all of these steps, always do the proofread last.There is no point carefully spellchecking a chapter you are then going to delete, or proofreading the whole thing, but adding loads of new paragraphs later that either don’t get looked at or mean you end up having to proofread twice. That’s the only hard and fast rule when it comes to editing, and it will save you a lot of unnecessary work!

FREEDOM

And then, finally, unbelievably - you’re done. Your literary child is ready to leave the nest. Resist the urge to keep re-reading and tweaking. Instead, click “publish” and give yourself a nice little treat. You’ve earned it.

Miscellany and Disclaimers

These editing stages are ones that would be applied to a published novel. An author would probably do this several times - once on their own to get it ready for submission, then perhaps again with their agent, but the really heavy work would be done with their editor. The structural edit would be done under the advice of an agent or editor where the author looks at their comments, rejigs things accordingly, and lather, rinse, repeat until everyone’s happy. The editor would undertake the line edit, and the author would decide what they wanted to keep or change. The copy edit and proofread would be done in-house or sent to freelancers, with queries and changes wafted past the author for clarification or approval.

Self-published authors will often hire freelancers to help at various stages to get feedback and advice.

Very rarely would an author go from draft to final published piece by doing all their editing alone. Because it’s hard fucking work, and because your brain will get exhausted.

In light of that, you need to remember:

You’ve written a fanfic

The editorial standards of fanfic are significantly less stringent than published books

Editing by yourself is really hard work that many people are often paid to do for published books

No-one is paying you for your fanfic

Fanfic is supposed to be fun

Some published authors will edit and rewrite and edit and rewrite again and again. At a panel I attended, Joanne Harris said that if she didn’t rewrite her work at least five times she was being too easy on herself, while Joe Hill said he usually aimed for three rewrites - Joe edited as he went along, going over the previous day’s pages before continuing, where Joanne completed her manuscripts before editing. Elizabeth May has talked about her stages of drafting, starting with her Trash Draft, then her Clean Draft, and then rewriting and editing after that.

These are people who are writing professionally, getting paid for their work, and so the time they put in has monetary results. If you want to write original fiction, their advice is extremely valuable.

For fanfiction, it’s a large time investment for something you’re doing as a hobby for free. If I’m strictly honest, I’m fairly lax with my fanfiction editing. I do structural discussions and tweaks with my beta reader as I write, and then a spell check. I’m also aware that my fanfics aren’t narratively complex, nor do they seem as polished, rich and deep as some of the other works out there. That’s fine by me. You simply need to find the level you’re happy at, where you can still feel proud of your work but you’re enjoying the experience.

In the end - it’s all for fun!

Resources:

Online

Curtis Brown Creative: An Editor’s Guide to Editing Your Novel

Joanne Harris: Ten Tweets About Editing

Joanne Harris: Writing Resources

NerdsLikeMe: Beta Reading vs Proofreading vs Editing

Books

Stephen King - On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft

Ursula K. Le Guin - Steering the Craft: Exercises and Discussions on Story Writing for the Lone Navigator or the Mutinous Crew

[throwaninkpot]

Notes from the Return of the Thief launch party Q&A with MWT!

• (I meant to keep a Not Telling tally but I got distracted by all the good words Megan put together.)

EDIT: A VOD of the stream has been posted here!

• It took 20 minutes into the event to get the first Not Telling, and everyone was astonished it wasn't sooner.

• She referenced the Not Telling shirt made for her by @queensandkingsofattolia ! She wasn't wearing it, but she did have her Not Telling socks, which she would put on her hands and hold up to the camera.

• She talked about how she doesn't like suspense as a reader. She always wants the stories to get to the point instead of dragging on, so in writing, she puts light scenes in to break up the suspense. She doesn't always know what those scenes will be, she just has a feel for what's needed there. One example is when Sophos and the magus are traveling to Attolia in aCoK, when they eat the chicken. "We eat the chicken now!" was a scene that made her happy while she wrote it.

• She was asked to explain the gods and how the different pantheons work with each other, and said she never wants to explain the gods. She doesn't want them to be cut-and-dry or understandable.

• Asked about writing such complex, ruthless characters and making them likeable.

Alex (mod): Do you think [the POV characters] good? Megan: *silently presents Not Telling socks*

• Said that if you're going to spend so much time in a characters head, there has to be some part of them that you and the readers will like. And there are some people whose heads she didn't want to be in. Even the ruthless ones making terrible decisions, she does like. "Nahuseresh? Not so much."

Alex: *says something about how they've never encountered books with more poker face than QT* Megan: *big ol' grin*

• Talking about how these books have so many layers and so much suspense, Megan said a lot of that is owing to the fact it's a series and she needed to be consistent, she couldn't switch the style of it or tone halfway through. When she writes the next thing, it might be a whole different kind of book. She'll have to see whether that was just sonething distinctive to QT, or that's what she naturally gravitates towards writing.

• She mentioned that she isn't fond of 1st person narrative, and the chat collective raised a single eyebrows at the irony.

• In fact, TaT was written in 3rd person at first. But she realized that wasn't working so she scrapped that and rewrote the whole thing, bc it needed to be Kamet who was telling us the story.

• She pronounced Kamet as "Kam-et".

• When talking about the details in her books and how they go into logistics, she brought a book onto camera called Alexander the Great and the Logistics of the Macedonian Army by Donald W. Engles. It heavily influenced the way she wrote about war and the politics thereof in QT.

• The Thief was partly inspire by a conversation she had with a young relative back during the Bush administration when Kuwait was invaded. The young relative didn't understand what the U.S. was doing in the middle east when we had so many problems to focus in our own country, and Megan explained that we weren't involved in that conflict out of the goodness of our hearts, but bc they had resources we wanted. (The way she phrased it, you could hear the magus talking to the boys in The Thief, and it gave me shivers.) And she realized, kids don't see that side of war in stories. Armies are always fighting Sauron and the forces of evil, and acting out if their own self-interests against people who might not be all bad.

• And thus, The Queen's Thief spiraled jnto existence.

• Why does she choose to write about disability and illness the way she does? Rosemary Sutcliff. Sutcliff was disabled for most of her life, and this reflected in the stories she told. Megan recalls Warrior Scarlet as the first book that challenged her as a kid to think about disability and illness as a natural part of life, and to question who gets to be at the center of the story. Who gets to be the hero? Who gets to be the hero of an adventure story? Why shouldn't characters dealing with illness or disability be those heros?

• TaT was a direct response to Sutcliff's novel Eagle of the Ninth, where an earnest young Roman soldier has these great plans for his life that get toppled when he is injured in his first battle and can no longer serve.

Megan: Costis checks every box for earnest young guy!

• In Eagle, there is a slave who travels with the protagonist and is freed by him at the end as part of the protagonist's journey. It was important to tell TaT from Kamet's point of view so that it was about him. "He is never an object of a quest, always a person."

• Megan has never read The Aeneid.

• She recommends Lavinia by Ursula K. Le Guin, which tells The Aeneid from a different POV.

• On writing process: She doesn't outline. When she has a book idea, she first tells it as a story by cornering her husband and telling him the whole thing with plenty of hand gestures. After that, she does a "sketch". She writes down the shape of the story, plotlines and characters, which is usually half the length of the finished book. Then she fleshes it out, and cuts and adds and cuts snd adds until she has pretty much a whole book, and then she edits again to cut everything that doesn't absolutely need to be there.

• She says it's important to remember you can't fix everything in one draft. You just need to focus on 20 or so things at a time, and then on the next pass you can focus on 20 other things.

• On keeping characters straight: "It's very crowded in my head." She doesn't focus so much on remembering exactly what she has written about a character before, but knowing who the character is so that she knows how they would react in whatever new situation she is writing them in.

Megan: Okay, Costis. I know this guy, I know what he's going to do. He's going to punch that guy in the face and it will be very embarrassing.

• A lot of people asked about the vampires referenced in The Thief and if they were real. She's not telling.

• Someone *cough*me*cough* Asked if she was planning a spin-off series about Eddisian vampires falling in love. "Never say never, but it's probably unlikely."

Alex: What happened to Ornon's sheep? Megan: Guys....guys......I have to put on another sock, come on, guys! *digs for her Not Telling socks and holds them up*

• On worldbuilding: You have to break with reality. It's great to research the process of how to retin pans! Adding details like that can enrich your story, but you can also add things that wouldn't have been possible in the real world. Like, pocket watches and window glass and printing presses all at the same time. The made up details also make your story richer.

Megan: Cut the research and tell a good story!

• On myths: She never writes the myths first. When she was writing The Thief, she would make a new line and type "[Myth Here]" and then go on with the rest of the story and cone back to that later.

• She recommends Ancient Near East Texts by James B. Pritchard for some good myths!

• What she likes best about DWJ: The Audacity(tm). DWJ would write about the most bizarre things very casually.

Megan: Her stories had a "hold my beer" quality.

• She told the story about hiw DWJ got her published (Alex: "She had good taste") and trying to send DWJ the advanced copy of aCoK before she died, but those stories have been retold elsewhere before so I won't bother with them now.

• Megan wore lovely, lovely earrings! And at the beseechment of the chat, she showed them to the camera and told us they were made by @freenarnian

• Finally, the winner of the trivia party was granted the honor of asking a question on camera, and Megan benevolently said she would not cry Not Telling on whatever was asked.

• Margaux, the winner, asked what the age difference was between Dite and Irene, and if they had grown up together.

• After a REAL long pause, Megan said that she didn't think they had grown up together. Irene is younger than Dite, and she was too busy, and I quote, "killing people." Her childhood ended early and she didn't have time to be a kid. Besides that, they wouldn't have been allowed to hang out in Attolian society, bc she was a girl and he was a boy. They were probably introduced to each other atvevents, but that was it.

• Also: Dite is pronounced "Die-tee".

• She has more events like this planned in the future!!!!! Keep an eye on her tumblr!!!!!

• EDIT: @whataliethatwas made a transcript of the event!

[aibhilin-atibeka]

For the happy fic writer ask game:

3. Have you received any bookmark notes? Which is your favorite and why?

and

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.) ❤️

WHOOP WHOOP, AN ASK! Thank you @chromatic-lamina for the ask! :D

The Happy Fic Writer Ask Game can be found here.

Rambling about my answers underneath the cut as per habit, for those interested in those. ;)

[A hand holding a pencil is drawing stars into a notebook that’s already filled with tiny star doodles and constellations]

3. Have you received any bookmark notes? Which is your favorite and why?

I did indeed receive bookmarks for my fics! Lots of the people that read my fics seem to mark the chapter they’re at in those? They’re interesting to go through, in any case - when every blue moon, I remember that bookmarks are a thing that exists. =^_^= I love checking up on how far people got in my fics sometimes.

One of my current favourites is someone who wrote “writing goals” - like, that’s a HUGE compliment, given to me by a stranger on the internet!  o(≧▽≦)o A lot of my other favourites are from creators-who’ve-become-friends who’ve given me glowing reviews in the comments and even recced the stories in question! (to be honest, it’s still shockingly surprising to me that I’m friends with such amazingly talented authors and creators out there!!!)

6. Describe what you do and your feelings after posting a chapter. (For example: When do you usually post a fic/chapter update? How do you celebrate a posting? Are you the type to refresh constantly?, etc.) ❤️

First thing I do after posting a chapter is reading through it, again. Without fail, I usually find at least one more mistake I need to correct or a sentence I need to rephrase or a word that doesn’t fit quite right. Next, I usually post the link to it on discord. Unless I forget, I write a post to publish on tumblr as well. Then, I usually check the hit counter to see what number it’s on - and go bother the people in my physical surroundings to distract me; if there aren’t any, I’m liable to hit refresh every second for the next five minutes straight.

When I usually post a fic/chapter update? I try to do that when I know I’m going to be busy for the next couple of hours - sometimes that’s the morning, especially when I’ve already prepared the chapters and put them online as drafts beforehand. Sometimes I do it when I want to celebrate something in my personal life and share the joy. That doesn’t mean the relevant chapter I post is particularly joyful or without a cliffhanger *shrugs*. Lots of times, I end up posting in the evenings. It depends, really. On my mood, my level of wakefulness at night, the constellations of stars.

It’s proven very helpful to write on the next chapter to distract myself, just adding that here. XD So, yes, the next chapter for my Buggy TTAU fic already has 4k to its name.

Again, thank you very much for the ask! Hope that answers your questions?