#i was up past 4 am last night trying to figure out how to keep going

[tinyvampire]

fuck! :)

(venting in tags abt transphobia & depression, read with caution love u besties)

[cherryrikis]

사랑으로 (with love,)

PAIRING swim instructors riki x fem reader

WARNINGS mild profanity

GENRE enemies to ??, fluff, angst if you squint

SYNOPSIS you hated riki because when it came to teaching your classes, he always one upped you. but riki doesn’t hate you. so when you both are punished for breaking equipment, he uses every opportunity to try and talk to you.

a/n loosely based of personal experience cz im a lifeguard🛟 also not proofread

it was meant to be a part time summer job. you just wanted something to do with all your free time, now that school was out.

but, the kids grew to love you, and you grew to love what you do.

so, you began to work full time at the local community pool.

instead of 2 classes a day, you’d teach 4 classes a day. it wasn’t too bad, each class only being 30 minutes.

you were so glad to help out, often even training the new interns.

until one. nishimura riki.

he was barely an intern for a week before becoming a full time employee. at first, you paid him no mind. he was a good teacher. very professional and good with the kids, often demonstrating the skills they needed to know to pass his class.

but eventually, he became better. he grew to become an even better teacher than you. the kids who loved you since the beginning started requesting to be put in riki’s class.

you watched him from across the pool, playfully splashing his students (who really, used to be your students), as they squealed about how the water was too cold.

but he always noticed your gaze. he turned around, smiling at you softly.

and you hated it, you felt nothing but hatred for him to the core of your heart. most of the staff noticed it, and it made it a bit awkward to work with either of you.

it was around 8:00 when your last class had ended. all your co-workers were putting the lane lines back in, preparing the pool for the swim team’s practice the following day.

“y/n? can you collect all the kick boards and put them away?” the manager, anton, asked you. “riki, go help y/n with all the other equipment.”

“what?” your mouth fell open, “anton, i can do it myself,”

“y/n.” anton cut you off. “don’t fight it. just let him help you.” he sighed before walking back into his office to pack up for the night.

you stood still in the middle of the walkway, ignoring how your coworkers moved past you to go wash up in the showers.

finally moving out the way to collect the boards, you huffed as you saw riki follow you into the storage room.

it was eerie. the lightbulb constantly went out, so the staff just figured to keep a candle and a lighter on the shelf above the bins.

riki lit the flame before going to help you clean up.

as you finished stacking the equipment, you went to walk out of the room, but riki grabbed your hand, pulling you back in.

“why do you hate me?”

“i don’t hate you.” you mumbled, before attempting to leave once more, only to be brought back to him.

he raised an eyebrow, looking you up and down.

“fine, i just don’t like you.” you scoffed. “you constantly one up me, taking my position, and even luring my students over to your class. nowadays, i don’t even get paid as much as you do anymore!”

“it’s not my fault! you act like my sole purpose was to come here and take your place.” riki grimaced at you. “maybe i am just the better instructor between us. it’s not my fault you can’t accept that.”

one might say it was out of jealous rage, or just an intolerance of immaturity. but something inside you snapped.

you shoved riki’s shoulder, causing him to fall against the wall and hit the shelf which held the candle.

from that point on, everything was in slow motion. the sound of glass breaking was loud and very audible.

the hot wax spilled across the plastic bin, melting the lid and spilling all over the foam boards which sat inside.

“what the fuck y/n?” riki yelled out.

immediately, anton came rushing in. he looked inside the bin, noticing how there was now a huge hole burnt through the container and all the boards inside. the equipment was no longer usable.

“are you serious? who’s fault was it? who did it?” he asked sturnly.

“it was y/n.” “riki did it.”

“are you kidding?!” you both exclaimed in unison.

“you knocked over the candle.” “you pushed me!” riki scoffed in disbelief. “it was foam! how do you manage to damage foam of all things?”

“enough!” anton intervened. he looked between you and riki, before moving his gaze to your red swim shirts. lifeguard, it read.

“your shirts are a symbol of your dedication and responsibility as a lifeguard and swim instructor. you may be good in the water, but you are both unbelievable outside it. if you keep this up, you could get those shirts revoked.”

“anton.. i’m so sorry.” you apologized, realizing what you done and that it technically was your fault.

“as much as i appreciate your apology, an apology won’t fix this mess. you two are on cleaning duty. i’ll call the janitor to tell him he doesn’t need to come tonight. the keys are on my desk, lock up before you leave.”

you nod in response, but riki still had something to say. “what? this is completely unfair! if anything, she should do it herself!”

but by then, anton had already left. “asshole.” he muttered. “this is all your fault y/n! by this rate we won’t finish for another hour or two.”

“by this rate, we won’t finish at all if you keep standing there and doing nothing. go grab that trash bag and mop.” you sighed.

riki was hesitant to help, but did so anyway, knowing it wasn’t up to him.

after power washing the concrete floors, scrubbing the bathrooms, and replacing all the damaged equipment, all the work was done by 10:05pm.

“good job, i guess. just wait for me then we can go.” you muttered as you finished wiping down the mirror of the employee’s bathroom.

“why would i wait for you?” he scoffed.

“you’re the one who got us in this mess.”

“i- whatever. just, let me help you.” riki licked his dry lips, taking the sponge from you.

the pool doors and the office were all locked up. you both were ready to leave before he paused right in front of the entrance.

“you wanna get something to eat? i’ll drive you home after. you shouldn’t walk by yourself and especially not on an empty stomach.”

“yeah. that’d be nice.” you replied, smiling genuinely at him for the first time.

with the both of you freshly showered yet so tired, riki drove to the nearest mcdonalds, ordering for the two of you.

after the food was picked up at the window, he pulled up at empty parking lot, turning off the engine so you could eat together.

“why are you still so nice to me after i was so rude to you?” you asked with a quiet voice, suddenly feeling bad as you reflected on your past interactions

“you know, it was never on purpose..” he whispered.

“what?” you asked, confused. his answer seemed slightly unrelated to your question.

“earlier, when we were still at the rec center. i asked why you hated me, and you said i basically replaced you.” riki reminded. “it wasn’t on purpose. i just really liked you back when you were only training me. and i thought, i don’t know.. maybe you thought it’d be attractive if you saw i was good with kids or something. but i never meant to make you feel that way.”

“oh riki..” you pouted, putting your box of chicken nuggets down. “i’m so sorry. i had no idea. i mean, if it makes you feel any better, i thought you were pretty cute when i was training you.”

“yeah, i guess that actually does help.” he smiled.

“can i..” you mumbled, leaning forward towards riki as he remained still in the drivers seat.

slowly, he moved closer to you, before eventually connecting your lips in a gentle kiss.

you moved your mouth against his, softly deepening the kiss.

riki smiled against you, and it was very noticeable. you found it cute how his face ran hot when you finally pulled away to repeatedly peck his cheek.

he brought a hand up to your face, holding you delicately. you leaned into his touch, before grimacing as you felt a slimy substance touch you.

“ew, riki!” you exclaimed, realizing his thumb had just accidentally wiped mustard under your eye.

he laughed, the sound like music to your ears, before he helped you wipe it off.

“i’m looking forward to working with you now that we don’t hate each other. maybe whenever we make eye contact mid class, you’ll stop looking at me weirdly.” you joked.

“oh come on, you know i only ever looked at you with love”. riki pursed his lips into a smirk, before bringing your lips back against his.

[mchlgayser]

FLINCH!

starring: jude bellingham x female!reader

warning: slight mentions of reader past's relationship, very angsty but with a fluff ending & not proofread

author's note: im a big fan of how this turns out, so good, better than what i had in mind tbh, didn't mean to make jude so red flag in here but things happened lmao.

song suggestion: tv by billie eilish

It was nighttime, past midnight, the clock strike two in the morning but still no signs of your boyfriend. You are well aware of the celebration party his manager arranged for him and the guys after they won an important match this evening but one thing that you don't get is that. For this long? He was out for all day, his match supposedly ended at 21:00 and now it's almost 03:00.

You are getting furious, partially worried and anxious, if you could drive his other car, you would have already done it hours ago revving to the club he's at but the problem is you don't drive. Your boyfriend never let you to.

Your body slumping on the leather couch, eyes boring glare on the door waiting and waiting.

The constant loud knocks on the door brought you back to life, grabbing your phone from the coffee table to see that it was now 4:03 in the morning. How furious you grew after that dashing to the door

His body immediately stuck on you like glue, his hands on his side as he rested his chin over the shoulder, you see Gio over the door 'Thanks for bringing him back.' You said, he nodded 'Try to convince him to go home but you know how he is..' You rolled your eyes 'Yeah, stubborn. Still thanks again, have a good night.' You closed the door after, bringing Jude back to your room which you silently pray for it to magically be on the first floor so that you won't have to drag him all the way.

Only a few steps up and you already gave up, he was giving up his weight on you, and your legs gave up, so you threw him down as he groan and sighed with a small smile 'You should just sleep here, I think.'

Give him a small fluff blanket, you draped it over his curled-up figure and undo some of his buttons 'Night.' You left after that having your best time sleeping on the king sized bed alone.

-

The next morning, Jude woke up feeling sort of discomfort and throbbing all over, his whole body is aching in pain and so is his head, probably the hungover from last night's event. His eyes are blurry, looking around but his neck are too sore for him to even twist it around. A couple of minutes has passed, he gained visions and now stunned seeing himself, sleeping on the stairs, not sleeping on his bed is one thing, no pillow is one thing.

His eyes averted to the living room, seeing you with a bowl of cereal in hand, your eyes were fixated on the movie that was playing. He tried getting up but he ended up falling back. He groaned in frustration 'Hey Y/n! Why am I sleeping here?' But you ignored him.

He grew frustrated getting up forcefully and went up to you 'Y/n? I'm talking to you.'

'Jeez, you are so loud for someone with a throbbing headache, leave me alone Jude.' He grab the controller from the table and switched off the tv 'Hey!' You growled, trying to get back but he silenced you with a side glare 'Stop it I-' He drops the controller, his head is aching in so much pain

You rolled your eyes, 'Take this pill.' He yanked it from you and you scoff 'What a jerk you are.' He sighs 'Leave me alone.'

'Nah uh, I said that first, you leave me alone, Jude.' You pointed out and sit back down.

-

The rest of the afternoon you've been ignoring him, well it's not like he's not ignoring you too. You do your stuff staying on the living room whilst he stayed in the room, '...Hey.' You heard him say, you noticed him from the corner of your eye but didn't budge 'C'mon Y/n, you can't stay mad at me forever?'

'Watch me.'

'Look I get it, I came home late last night but it's not like it was all the time right? Am I not allowed to have fun now? Do you think you can keep me in cage here forever? Come on, have some common sense.' You scoff 'This is so irrelevant, Oh my God! Go on have all the fun you want and come back every day at 04:00! You know what, I'm not even gonna complain! Go! Go partying, get drunk whatever, I don't even care anymore...' Your breath are rigid, out of breath, your chest violently bounced up and down

He huffed in disbelief 'Sometimes, I think it's better if I just don't go home at all you know, I'm so tired of your constant yelling and annoying rants, You are always onto me, pointing my mistakes, being absolute burden! This issue of yours I'm fucking tired of it! I'm tired of these pointless arguments! I'm tired of you!' Every spiteful word that are coming out of his mouth are like a knife, slashing into your heart multiple times.

His angry exhales, it was scary, reminiscing all your horrendous memories of your past. You eyes moist with warm tears cascaded your cheeks, it was hard to contains and you ended up crying a bit despite wanting to look tough

He sighed feeling frustrated at himself, it was't his intention to say such things, he was just mad that you've been ignoring him and not to mention the hungover from last night haven't yet subsided. He bring his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose but your next actions instantly brought tears to his eyes, he was shuddering in mistrust

Both of your hands are now in front of your face guarding it, your whole body fell to the floor as you yelped, your figure are in a major trembling state. He was stunned, could't be able to move 'Y/n...Did you...?' He was so out of words. Not once, never once this would cross his mind, the day you would become scared of him. In this poor shattering state. All because of him.

His hand wanted to hold out for you but he restrained himself, turning heels and left the house grabbing his jacket and slammed the door. You try muffling your sobs but the moment he left, you could't helped but wail and sobs like a broken child. You began hating yourself for this. How could you?! How could you think he would ever hit you?! But you could not helped it, your body acts on its own. You are too scared because of the argument.

You brought your knees to your chest hug it and cry, you don't know how fast time flies but Jude came home again, you are still in the same position but you are sleeping. His eyes soften nearing your structure and picking you up, how saddening it is for him to see you in this puffy-eyed state, cheeks stained with tears, lips bleeding slightly. He gently puts you to bed and tucked you in giving your temple and the tip of your nose a chaste kiss.

He was about to leave, ready to take the guest room to sleep but you hold his hand, your eyes barely opened but he could see that it was reddish and swell 'Hey...' He croaked, tucking one strand of your hair behind your ear. He was cautious as he sat beside you by the edge of the bed with your hand still holding his.

He was hesitant 'I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean what I said, at all. I'm just... Mad because you ignored me but I understand. You can stay mad as long as you want, I'll make it up to you, months, years, decades and forever so please don't leave me.' You hold tightens, sending him a small lazy smile 'No I'm sorry Jude, I know you won't hit me it's just... I think I'm being paranoid. You know how shitty my past relationships are.' He adjusted the hold, hands now entangling

'And I promise not to make you feel that way anymore, from today onwards, no sorrow for you. At least not from me. I won't treat you like they did. I won't became the asshole and treat you like an object. You are one kind of treasure. That one that needs to be held carefully so it won't break. I promise to take a better care of you.' He boops your nose and smile giving you a long kiss on the head and hugs your form

'Come on, sleep with me.' He get under the bed beside you, his body facing you with one arm stretching out and tucks it under your head and the other arm resting on your waist caressing it. Your head against his broad chest and hugging him close to you, closing your eyes with a contempt sigh 'I love you Jude.' Her hums, kissing the top of your head and murmur; 'I love you too babe.'

[ambcass]

Betrayed.

“I can’t stand him!” Y/N exclaimed, throwing a fit while walking with her best friend, Jaime Reyes. Her anger made her walk faster, making Jaime chase after her. It all started when Jaime noticed Y/N distancing herself from him and he asked why, she said it was nothing and just to mind his own business. During their gym class, Jaime noticed how violet Y/N was when playing a dodgeball match but he couldn’t help to notice how her arm was bruised. He also wondered how she was able to throw and dodge a ball like that. That bruise made him realize that it was the same spot where he hit a specific villain last night. The thought of his best friend being a villain hurts him. He tried removing the thought but it just came back every time he tried to shake it off. After school and on his way home, he spotted Y/N and decided to walk up to her. 

“I know you probably don’t wanna talk about your problems right now but ya’know I’m here for you…” Jaime suggested with a soft smile. Y/N turned to him with a dull expression and kept moving forward. Jaime once again followed up in front of her, “Can I at least walk with you? I do feel bad and I can’t stand to see you like this” Jaime pleaded, making Y/N give in. She nodded and the two started walking to the local 7-11 store. On their way, Y/N randomly blurted out “I can’t stand him!” and started marching towards the store angrily. Jaime followed up, hoping to hear more about this mystery guy. “Who? Who’s bothering you?” Jaime asked. Y/N scoffed as she opened the store door.

“You don’t know him…” She said, trying to keep her cool. She couldn’t expose herself to a guy who would most likely betray him to the heroes. “At least you can describe him. I’ll get a better idea of who the hell the guy is. If he is that much of a bother to you then I’ll make sure he gets it coming.” Y/N started chuckling, “And what the hell are you gonna do to this guy? But fine. He’s annoying, always on my ass, and doesn’t stop until he gets his way. Which annoys me because he went way too far yesterday.” Jaime stop to think too far? What does she mean too far? She was the one causing harm and trying to poison the water supply. Is it her? Please... Please… tell me that (villain name) isn’t you, Y/N. Jaime then felt Y/N nudge him. She mouthed you okay?  and Jaime nodded. They went inside the store and went to the chip aisle. When reaching for a bag of Takis, the sides of their hands touched each other. The two retracted immediately and looked away embarrassed.

“So…What did he do that was too far?” Jaime asked, trying to change the subject. Y/N grabbed that bag of Takis and walked off to a different aisle. “He- uh… I-I can’t say. Sorry.” Y/N tried to explain but she knew that Jaime wouldn’t believe her. Jaime gave a sympathetic nod. When the two finished paying for their food, they said goodbye and left. 

Y/N’s POV

It was very late at night. Almost 4 AM. I had to wait for the perfect time to cause any harm to anyone. Two nights ago, stupid Blue Beetle roundhouse kicked the shit out of me. I thought to myself when I find this bug, I swear I’m going to fucking smash and kill it. As I aggressively put on my suit, a shadowy reflection flew past my window and they left a sticky note on the outside of my window saying “Meet me on top of the xxx building. Rooftop –BB.”  I rushed to my window, opened it, and snatched the sticky note. The writing was in all blue ink. I knew who this was. My heart started beating fast, I felt nauseous and anxious. How was he able to find where I live? Was one of the many questions racing in my mind. I crushed the paper and tossed it over my bed as I finished changing into my suit. I flew out the window and headed towards the address. As I was flying there, I tried to retract where I went wrong and how I blew my cover so easily. Nothing came to mind and while trying to come up with another explanation, I had already arrived. There was a figure lurking in the shadows, eyeing me down as I landed on the rooftop of the building. 

“Come out, Beetle. I see you in the shadows. Hey, if you were a Shadow then you wouldn’t even make it out of Santa Prisca alive. Your dumb blue armor gives you away” I teased, crossing my arms as Blue Beetle slowly came into the light. I glared into his eyes and stepped closer. Pulling out (some type of weapon) out and pointing towards him. “How did you find me? How did you find where I live?” Blue Beetle didn’t answer but he simply just stepped forward. “Y/n…” Beetle murmured. Y/n? What the fuck? How did he know? I stood there in silence. He walked closer, closer, and closer, but I didn’t move a muscle. Now he was in front of me. I looked down at the rooftop floor while feeling Blue Beetle’s hand reach for my arm. I looked up at him and snarled.“Don’t touch me.” He immediately let go and sighed. 

“Why Y/n? Why would you go through this path? You know better than this.”  He said, trying to get an answer from me. I knew better than to answer. After all, anything I say can and will go against me.  As I was still glaring into his eyes, his face armor started to retract back to his suit. I broke eye contact and turned my head away, refusing to lock eyes with him. No, no, no…not him. Not him!  My head started to get foggy and blank. I felt nauseous and took a few steps back. I couldn’t believe that the boy that I cared for, my best friend, Jaime Reyes, is a fucking traitor and gave me that awful beating two nights ago.  “Look Y/n, can we please talk about this? Please just hear me out.” I ignored his suggestion. Still not looking at him. I was angry, betrayed, and sad. Tears wanted to come out of my eyes but I held back. With a sour look on my face, I gazed into Jaime’s eyes and mouthed “I’m sorry”  He looked at me with confusion. “I’m sorry? Sorry for what?” he asked, looking at me like a pathetic pleasing bitch. I shook my head repetitively and walked towards the edge of the rooftop. I leaped off of it, disappearing and never to be seen again.

Jaime’s POV:

I rushed after Y/N when I saw her leap off the edge of the rooftop but when I tried looking for her, she was nowhere to be seen. I attached my face armor back and flew back home. As I was flying back, I kept thinking to myself What does she mean when she said she’s sorry? What was she sorry for? Days went on and I haven’t seen Y/N attack since. Which is probably a good thing but she wasn’t at school either. It’s like she disappeared from the face of Earth. A few months went by and I still haven’t seen Y/N at all! I asked around at school such as Paco, Brenda, and the staff but they haven’t seen her. I talked to the principal but I didn’t get much from him. The only thing I got from him was that Y/N is no longer in their school system.

When I was dismissed from school, Brenda and Paco both offered to walk me home but I declined. Once I got home, I didn’t even think of patrolling for the night. I just wanted to rest. I can’t help the feeling but I miss Y/N. 

I woke up to a crowd outside of my house screaming and yelling but I couldn’t hear anything. My mom rushed into my room screaming into my ear but I couldn’t understand what she was saying for I was still half asleep. She dragged my arm into the living room and turned my attention to the TV. The news reporter was saying something but for some reason, I couldn’t understand what it was that he was saying until I started reading the words that were displayed on the screen. My face froze, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

Local High School Teenager Jaime Reyes Is the Superhero Blue Beetle.

a/n: AHHH THIS TOOK SO LONGGGGGGGG. IM SORRY MY GRAMAR IS SO DOOKIEEE :((

Word count: 1,483

Character Count: 7,572

literally ty @miguelnation bc idk if this is even angst or not

[barleyo]

Just What I Needed. (1)

(Mike Schmidt X F! Reader)

A/N: Hey, guys! I normally don’t post my series on here, but I know that more people know me here than on my Ao3! While I would suggest just going to my Ao3 account to read this, this is here for anyone who would rather stay on Tumblr! This story is an on and off chapter set up, meaning that every other chapter with be about the reader’s past, rather than her present. Please enjoy!

Chapters: 1, 1.5, 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5, 4, 4.5, 5

“What’s your problem, Mike? Punching that guy right in front of his kid?” The counselor scratched the side of his head with his knuckles, looking at the report in his hand incredulously. “I mean, it’s like you don’t want my help, yet, here you are.”

Mike kept quiet, eyeing the stains on the old linoleum floor of the office.

“Mike?”

His head perked up in hearing his name. “Yeah?”

“Are you even listening?” the counselor pinched the bridge of his nose before tossing the paper to Mike. “Of course, you aren’t. What am I even saying?”

“No, I am listening, I promise. Mr. Raglan, just—just listen, okay? Any job. I’ll take any job, and I’ll keep it this time.”

“Are you sure? Because if you aren't, there are plenty of people out there who actually will. No matter how shitty it is,” he said, mumbling the last part quietly to himself.

“I will, you know I need this. I know I screwed up, but I can do it.”

A deep sigh rumbled in Mr. Raglan’s chest. “There is this one job.”

“Yeah? What is it? Like, janitorial?”

“Security. Pay’s bad, but hey, at least the hours are even worse.” Digging through his pocket, he picked out a business card and placed it face up on the table. “Twelve A.M. to six A.M. Think you can handle that?”

“I don’t work nights.”

“What happened to ‘any’ job?’”

Mike slouched back into his chair, thinking about the offer. He really did need the job. Nights may have been inconvenient, but not having a job at all would have been worse.

“When would I start?”

“Attaboy, Mikey,” Mr Raglan said. He wrote down the address and slid the card over. “Tonight should work. There’s no way you can lose this gig, just keep people out. Good thing is, there’s nobody there for you to punch.”

***

Mike pulled into the lot of Freddy’s, feeling the rough pavement bounce his car. Nobody had been in or out of the place in a while, but time had weathered the asphalt to a cracked, pale mess. The building’s outer lights were already on, but he thought nothing of it. Mr. Raglan had told him about the building’s aged wiring system, how lights would flicker on and off, and how the power would randomly shut down.

Slamming the door of his car, he walked up to the wire gate enveloping the door. He tried to pry at it to get it open before seeing the lock and pulling out the key he had been given.

“Jesus, this place is creepy,” he said quietly when he had finally entered. The lights on the inside were also on, but just dimmed enough for him to need to squint to see clearly.

Even in the dark, he could see how stained and cracked the linoleum floor was. Broken pieces of the floor chipped under his feet as he walked into the hallway. Turning the corner, he pushed the door of the office open.

He jolted back quickly, seeing a shadowed figure standing right in front of him. His brain could hardly process what he was seeing before his hand shot up, swinging quickly to make contact with the shadow’s face.

“Holy shit, I’m so sorry,” Mike blurted quickly when he saw the figure reel back into the monitor’s light, revealing a woman in a security jacket. She covered her nose with both hands, trying to stop the blood from flowing out of it and landing on the floor.

“What’s your problem, you ass?” she asked, her voice nasally as she squeezed her nostrils together.

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

Evie (Ace!Tav) Playthrough Day 4

(I love Evie in this fit)

Day 1… Day 3- Day 5

Astarion x Evie (Ace!Tav) Masterlist

For the uninitiated, I wrote a Tav well before I ever had a chance to play the game. Now, I finally can and thought it might be fun for my first play through to be as that Tav. Or, at least as much as the game play will allow me.

These are just some of my notes and scattered highlights that I thought would be fun to share.

Let me know if you think if I should continue this and any suggestions you might have.

So much happened you guys holy shit!!!

Technically this is a combination of two days, since I didn't have time last night and figured I'd wait until after I played some more today (there is just so much of this game I feel like two hour sessions barely scratch the surface)

First off, it took me way too long to figure out how to deactivate the traps in the back cavern in the Emerald Grove

Legitimately nearly died twice; if it weren't for my saves I would have

Not ashamed to admit, I needed to google it; I have never claimed to be a "gamer"

Still got it sorted (and if anybody knows how to get to that center bit in the middle of the cavern, please let me know)

After that decided to go after best girl Karlach

Ran into the Owl Bear cave first and I am upset

I *really* didn't want to kill the Owl Bear mama, but even with non-lethal damage the cub still eats it's mother; seems like it all is the same in the end

I'm now thinking more and more that Evie and Shadowheart get to be good friends; Evie takes a more benefit of the doubt approach to people, and I don't think she knows enough about the Gods and Shar specifically to have many thoughts on the subject

I've been purposefully handing all the books and other info to whoever else is there so Evie doesn't get the info from reading

Lae'zel and Shadowheart are also majorly at each other's throats in the first act

Lae'zel also would not be a fan of Evie; Evie comparatively talks way too much for Lae'zel's taste (+11 to Persuasion will do that to a person) (did I mention I love bards)

Did eventually get to Karlach and she's so great guys! I knew I was going to love her, but I *love* her

She deserves to wreck the Paladins of Tyr hide out, as a treat

(That one bitch was giving me so much trouble, thank God for Wyll's Eldritch Blast or we would have been spending all our actions just trying to keep up)

I am once again faced with not being able to punch a ginger bitch because of *consequences*

Also, I hate all the options they give you when talking to Wyll after he's transformed into a devil

None of this is what Evie would say to him!

Either way though, I am secure in the fact that Wyll would like Evie (even if he's not a fan of her trust in Astarion)

So, one long rest later and we're heading towards the Blighted Villiage; Astarion, Gale and Karlach in toe

Came across the boar and Astarion really is so suspicious

I also think at this point Astarion really doesn't know what to make of Evie; placing her in category bleeding heart no doubt and not certain of her abilities

She's a good talker, as she's able to convince the goblins to let them pass without a fight

On the other hand, she did assists Gale with his little problem, sacrificing a necklace of Dancing Lights

Also it doesn't help that she was nice to a gnome

I think what starts to change his mind though is when they meet Raphael on the road

I really do wish you could give Gur as a background, because even if Evie didn't grow up in the caravan, I do think just culturally she'd pick up on stuff

Not trusting devils I'm sure is top of the list

I wasn't expecting to have Evie so viscerally mistrusting of Raphael, but it felt right to play it that way

I'm not sure who he'd remind her of in her past, but I do think there is something beyond just him being a devil that rubs her the wrong way

Either way, her rejection of a devil's bargain that would not only enslave her, but likely them as well, even in exchange for a cure does re-color some things

Not sure where to insert this in the grand scheme of the narrative, but Evie did let Astarion open the door on the orger and hobgoblin

Evie's talking did not help in this situation

I know the narrative makes it clear what's happening, but I'm thinking Evie might have had a random ace blind spot moment

Like she's not totally naive about sex, but when it's usually the last thing on your mind (and you just talked with a devil), it's not the first thing you picture at the sound of banging

Not her smoothest moment; (honestly the sudden violence is a god send for everyone not to ask her more questions about it)

Either way, went back to the grove with some of the infernal iron and got Karlach stabilized at least

I love Karlach and Wyll's friendship, I support wholesome ships; low key starting to ship her with Dammon though

He's real cute, Karlach deserves a nice guy, and you know he'd roll with the punches

Another long rest later and we're here

The scene

I've been thinking about the build up to this scene

Obviously we know in origins it's after Astarion has a vision of Cazador and wanting to push the limits of his new found freedom by going against one of his rules

But I keep coming back to why Evie

Astarion can likely smell something being wrong with Gale's blood, Wyll just turned into a devil and would likely kill him, Karlach's blood is literal fire, and Lae'zel would also absolutely kill him

That leaves Shadowheart and Evie

Shadowheart is a big question mark to him; she follows Shar, maybe she might even like being bitten

But then there's Evie who has shown time and time again that she wants to help

This is about survival after all, and it would only be a taste

IDK, exploring it; add it to the list of possible future fics

But Evie obviously does wake up and does allow Astarion to bite her

As for Evie's motivations as to why, yes, Astarion is a prickly bastard, but he's in the same boat as the rest of them

If he wanted to hurt them, surely he would have done it by now

She recognizes the look in his eyes, Gods know she's worn it enough; the man is starving, the fact he hasn't done anything until now says a lot

This is definitely the shift in her and Astarion's relationship where they start to actually warm up to each other

So next morning gang wakes up, Evie stands up to Astarion saying she trusts him and heads out again towards the goblin camp; Shadowheart, Astarion and Lae'zel in toe

So Evie's current standing with the party;

Gale has disclosed his condition and gotten the first magical item; high rating with Evie, thinks of her as somebody who he can not only trust, but as someone who has shown bravery and true kindness (not to mention eloquence); maybe starting to form an...appreciation

Wyll has turned into a devil and certainly likes Evie, but maybe a little doubtful in her trust in Astarion and some dealings with the goblins

Shadowheart; genuinely trusts Evie as she's revealed her ambitions as a follower of Shar, and used the artifact in front of Evie in order to protect them from the influence of The Absolute (also might be starting to crush on her, but Evie has not been taking the opportunity to flirt)

Karlach: too soon to tell, but seems like a good person

Lae'zel: not a fan, too weak willed and doesn't know her place; talks too much

Astarion; unsure, certainly knows he can trust her now, to an extent; still too much of a bleeding heart, but then again, it's helped him; at the very least she knows to draw the line with devils and willing to kill to stay alive, over all a fair ally to have

Oh! I can't believe I forgot about my new best boy!

Scratch!

[twistedminutia]

A Million and One Minutia: Wisdom Teeth and Appendixes

Malleus and the prefect discuss the strangeness of the human body. (Read the previous chapters here: Ch. 1, Ch. 2, Ch. 3, Ch. 4)

A swirl of green-yellow lights twinkle above the garden like earthbound stars. It’s a beautiful and eerie sight, and as soon as I see them, I poke my head outside.

Sure enough, there’s a tall figure, made even taller by the horns on his head, on the walkway to Ramshackle Dorm. I toss on a sweater to keep out the night’s chill and step out.

He turns toward me as I emerge, gaze as green-yellow as the lights around him. He’s clearly not human, something that would have freaked me out a few months ago and is now oddly commonplace. His pupils are like dark slashes in the center of his eyes, his face sharply and inhumanly beautiful. He hasn’t said it, but I assume he’s one of the Faeries I’ve been reading about in the history books.

“Hello, Child of Man,” he says. It’s a strange nickname, and one that only confirms my suspicions that he’s Fae. Well, that plus the horns. And the pointed ears. “It’s a pleasant night.”

“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?” I’ve gotten used to his occasional visits over the past few weeks. He likes examining the gargoyles on Ramshackle dorm, and if he minds when I pop out to say hi, he hasn’t said anything. I actually get the impression he appreciates having someone to listen to his in-depth discussions of architectural styles and how that has affected gargoyle construction. For my part, it’s honestly just cool to listen to someone talk passionately about something I never really thought about before. “How are you doing?”

It’s a casual question, but he gives it some real thought, wrinkling his brows in deep contemplation. “I am well,” he finally decides. “And you?”

“More or less the same.” My arms ache from trying to clean out one of the guest rooms for most of the day, and I’ve admittedly been sleeping pretty badly in the past couple of weeks, but other than that, I’m fine. He observes me for a long moment, gaze impassive. I cast around for something to break the silence. “Do you want to sit down for a bit? I can, uh, get you something to eat, if you want. I think I have some pastries left over, somewhere.” Unless Grim’s found them, which is a distinct possibility.

He smiled, as if that amused him somehow. “I cannot stay for long, but thank you for the offer. I wouldn’t mind sitting here for the moment.”

I gesture to the steps of Ramshackle and plop myself down upon them. He blinks at me, surprise crossing his expression. It occurs to me, at that moment, that maybe he doesn’t want to put his fancy, uniformed butt on the definitely slightly dirty steps to my house, and that I might have slightly different standards of cleanliness than someone who hasn’t lived in a near death trap for multiple months. Before I can retract my offer, though, he sweeps his cloak aside and sits down next to me.

“So, how’ve you been? It’s been a bit since you last visited,” I say.

He shrugs. “Has it?”

“It’s been a bit over a week.” About a week and a half, actually, but I don’t want to seem like I’m paying too close attention to the dates. Admittedly, visits are not necessarily on a regular schedule, but it’s rare to not see him for more than a couple weeks at a time.

“Hm. The passage of time is often different for humans than it is for Fae,” he says, tapping a nail against his chin. “I will have to remember to stop by more often.”

“Well, I don’t want to put you out if you’re busy or something,” I say hurriedly. He doesn’t talk all that much about his school life, but he does allude to having a lot on his plate. I’d feel bad if I made him feel obligated to stop by, since Ramshackle is a bit out of the way for most students.

“No, I appreciate these visits. It will be beneficial to try to adopt a more human view of time.” He falls silent and we stare up at the stars. It’s a peaceful moment, and I’m not even bothered by the chill in the air.

If there’s one thing I can appreciate about him, it’s that he’s perfectly okay with sitting in silence for a while. My usual group, much as I appreciate them, tends to be full of chaos. Even living with Grim and the ghosts is too much sometimes. It’s really nice to be able to just have a few moments of relaxation.

I turn my gaze to look at him, trying not to stare too openly. He’s a pretty striking silhouette in the moonlight, really accentuated by the horns. I can’t stop myself from looking at them. Like Jack’s ears and tail, it’s amazing how real they are. I mean, I know conceptually they’re real, but there’s a really big difference between seeing them CGI’d onto a TV character or seeing a person in a costume with fake horns glued to their head than there is seeing them as a part of a person’s actual body.

“Is there something you would like to ask me?” he says out of the blue. I must look shocked, because an amused expression crosses his face. “You were staring. Quite intently.”

“Oh.” Great. I’ve been caught. “I didn’t mean to be rude. I was just looking at your horns.” Is that creepy? “There aren’t any Fae where I’m from, so I guess it’s unusual for me. But I shouldn’t have just been staring.” It’s accurate, without giving too much away. I’ve gathered that Fae aren’t common sights, so just saying I haven’t seen many of them before shouldn’t give away that I’m not from this world at all.

Fortunately, he doesn’t seem upset by the staring. “It’s true that Fae and humans do not mingle much. That was part of my reasoning for coming here. I would like to help bring a deeper bond between our kinds.”

“That’s a noble goal,” I say. I’m aware of the war that happened, though I don’t know many more details than the stuff we’ve gone over in Trein’s class. It seems like a good idea to try and rebuild peace. Though I’m not sure if he has any actual ability to do so- a lot of the people at school seem like rich, important types, so maybe he’s from a family that has some influence? Not like I would know. “Oh, hey Sassy.”

He looks over in time to see a white cat slither her way onto my lap. Sassy is my cat in the same sense that Ramshackle is my house- not technically, but we spend enough time together that it works. I don’t feed her or anything, but she likes to hang around me regardless. I assume she’s hunting the rats that must be hiding in the corners of Ramshackle. Which honestly makes her more of a help than Crowley or Grim, most of the time, so she’s more than welcome to stay.

“Why do you call her that?” he asks, observing as Sassy curls up on my knees and blinks sleepily at him.

“I dunno. Just fits.” He keeps staring, one hand slightly lifted from his lap, but not moving any closer. “Here, you want to pet her? She’s nice.”

Nice is a bit of an exaggeration- she’s nice to me, and to a decent amount of my friends, but I’ve seen her puff herself up like a sea urchin in front of Azul and Leona, so maybe it’s conditional. Or maybe she’s just not fond of housewardens.

He lifts his hand and cautiously stretches it toward Sassy. She sniffs his fingers before settling down and closing her eyes, and he cants his fingers along her head. “See? She’s a sweetheart.”

“Hmm.” He passes his fingertips over her head again. It’s quite a light touch, but Sassy doesn’t seem to mind. She just sits there and purrs. “I’m afraid my experience with these creatures is limited- I’ve rarely had the opportunity to see one, much less one that does not regard me as a threat.”

“Cats think you’re a threat?” I ask. He blinks once, twice, three times. Sort of the way he did when we first met. Like I’ve said something a little strange, even though I don’t think I have.

“Some of them,” he says, finally.

“She doesn’t,” I say, watching as Sassy tilts her head to press her ear against his hand. He smiles, rubbing his gloved fingers against her skull.

“No. She does not.” Sassy lets him pet her for a few more moments before turning around once in my lap, then springing onto my shoulders. I sputter awkwardly as she stomps around to find a good position and he half-covers his mouth to hide his little smile. “Is she truly too heavy for you to manage?”

I groan, still slightly bent over under her as Sassy plants her paws across my shoulders and upper back. “No, it’s not that she weighs a lot. It’s that- ow- her claws keep digging into my shoulders.” I reach back and bodily pick her up to place her in a better position. She settles on the one shoulder I place her on with a little dignity.

His eyes widen, green irises practically glowing in the dim light. “I am always surprised by how… delicate human skin is. To be pierced so easily to cause pain…”

“It’s not that bad,” I protest, a bit insulted. “And I’m not in pain so much as it’s just kind of uncomfortable.” He looked at me, clearly unconvinced. “I can handle pain! I’ll have you know that I got my wisdom teeth out and I didn’t even complain that much.”

He slowly tilts his head to one side. “Wisdom teeth?” His brows pull together. “Humans have… wise teeth?”

“Oh, uh, no, not exactly. Most of our teeth come in when we’re young, but there’s a set of molars-” Wait, does he know what molars are? “-the teeth in that back, that come in when we’re older. So they’re called wisdom teeth, since you’re supposed to be older and wiser when you get them. Thought they come in at your late teens and early twenties, so maybe they should be the opposite of wisdom teeth…”

“Fascinating.” His eyes are still wide and glowing, pupils tiny slashes of black. “I did not know humans continued to gain teeth as they grow. Perhaps we are not so different after all.”

“We don’t really get more teeth. It’s just those ones,” I say. He looks slightly disheartened. “And most people get them taken out, anyway.”

“Taken… out?”

“Yeah, they get a bunch of tools and they knock you out and take the teeth out of your jaw,” I explain. Admittedly, I’m making it sound a little worse than it is, but it’s sort of gratifying to see the look of mild horror that crosses his face. Humans aren’t such pathetic weaklings now, are we?

“Why?” he asks. “Is it for some sort of ritual purpose, perhaps?”

“No. Our mouths are too small for them, so when they try to come in, they get stuck or start impacting the other teeth. Not everyone has to get them taken out, either- they don’t come in for some people, and for some people, they’re spaced out enough that they don’t cause problems. I had to get all four teeth removed, though.”

“Humans,” he says, “grow useless teeth that cause nothing but trouble and need to have them removed?” He blinks once, hand resting against his chin. “How strange.”

“They weren’t always useless. People think that before humans had technology, when we chewed tougher food, the wisdom teeth were necessary. But they’re not now. Like the appendix.”

There’s a long pause. He brows furrow. “The appendix… in a book? I find them quite useful.”

“No, like the organ,” I offer. He shakes his head slowly. “There’s an organ in a human body, the appendix. It’s pretty small. Scientists think it did more stuff in the past, but now it’s pretty superfluous- the main thing people know it for is that sometimes it swells up and explodes and you have to get it taken out before that happens-”

“Humans have organs that can explode?” He’s usually so calm and collected that the expression on his face is pretty funny- his eyes go wide and alarmed and his mouth pinches down at the edges. He looks downright horrified. I hurry to reassure him.

“No, no, it’s not like they explode in a big fiery ball or anything, it’s not that kind of explosion.” His expression grows marginally less alarmed, though he still looks bewildered. “I mean that they can get infected and they swell with, I guess puss and bacteria, and eventually they pop and dump all that stuff straight into your abdominal cavity. If that happens, you usually die from it. But usually people can feel that something’s wrong and they go to the doctor and get the appendix taken out before it pops, so it’s usually all fine.”

He blinks. Once. Twice. “Has this ever happened to you?”

“No. Never.” An unpleasant thought occurs to me. “I hope it doesn’t happen here. I don’t know what the healthcare system is, but if it’s anything like the once back home, I’m never going to be able to pay back those bills.” That’s… something new to add to the list of ‘worries that keep me up at night.’ It’s a long list.

“You said there are signs,” he presses, shaking me out of my thoughts. “Things that would tell a person they need to see a healer?”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I say, a little absentmindedly. “Stomach pain and nausea, usually on your lower right side, that keeps getting worse. A lot of people say it’s the worst thing they’ve ever felt, so worse than just a normal stomachache. There’s supposed to be a test you can do.” I hope I’m remembering it correctly. “If you take two fingers and push them gently but firmly into the skin below your belly button or toward the left of it and the pain gets immediately worse, especially on your right side, then you probably have appendicitis and need to get it checked out.”

He nods, looking enormously serious. “Thank you, child of man. That is valuable information.” He stands up, drawing his long coat in around him as he does so. “I will endeavor to repay what you have shared with me.”

“You don’t have to,” I say, a little bewildered. Do Fae have appendixes? Why does he need to know this? “It was nice seeing you again.”

He looks like he’s in a rush all of a sudden, but he pauses long enough to give me a smile over his shoulder. “I share the sentiment. We will see each other again soon.”

There’s a pop of green lights that scatter into tiny, flickering spots that drift across the garden before fading away. I heave Sassy off of me and stand, stretching my now somewhat numb legs. It’s a shame that Hornton never stays long- I suppose it’s late and he goes on these walks for solitude, so I can’t blame him for that. And the visits are pleasant enough- a break from the stresses of school life, where I’m not the useless, magicless prefect and he’s not… well, whatever it is that makes it hard for him to get peace and quiet. It’s kind of a peace for us both. I’ll look forward to his next visit.

[dk-wren]

Day 5 - Child of Blessing

Let me try and set the scene, I did not watch TriStamp as it was airing, though it was on my radar since I kept seeing posts about it on here. It caught my attention, but I was already preoccupied with another show last winter, so I told myself "later." When I finally had a break over the summer, it was the first show I sat down with, then it became the fastest show I've binged (essentially in a night). I watched it first in sub, then again like a week later in dub because I could not stop thinking about it!

There are so many scenes, moments, reveals, etc. I could list off the top of my head that blew me away and left my jaw on the floor. But after that first watch, one episode, or rather, one scene kept coming back to mind: episode 5, "Child of Blessing" (specifically its ending)

I wanted to share today the thoughts I wrote down not too long after my first watch as I figured out potentially why that scene stuck out to me so much. I wrote it stream of conscious, so please forgive the rambling and minimal editing. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

As I was (re)watching Trigun Stampede, looking back on it, there is one scene in particular that really stands out to me and leaves me with that lingering thought of “oh damn, this is so hauntingly beautiful.” The episodes discussing Vash and also Wolfwood’s past are just incredible, and I even saw one article argue that the first episode focused on Wolfwood’s past might have been the best episode of the winter ‘23 anime season, which I totally understand and would defend. However, interestingly, as I continuously (or perhaps religiously is the better term) listen to the Trigun Stampede soundtrack and have gone back a few times to rewatch this show, it’s the ending for episode 5 that really just makes me sit there and stare, thinking about all of it. Like I said above, there is something so hauntingly beautiful about after everything Vash and Wolfwood went through in that abandoned city (Windmill Village I believe is how it's referred to) and with Rollo, that as the group drives away, to suddenly see the windmills start turning, resulting in the power coming back on and theoretically life being brought back into that city, like it hit something inside of me that I can’t really define. Earlier in the episode, in flashbacks to Rollo as a child, he was deemed to be a blessed child or something to that effect in that he would be the next in line to be sacrificed to bring good fortune to their city. And thinking about that and Wolfwood’s “mercy” killing of Rollo, it’s like, no Rollo’s death/sacrifice did bring good fortune to the city. It’s just so sad that his death was prolonged by Dr. Conrad’s experiments and after everyone had left the town. The score in this scene too! Like, don’t talk to me, the reprise of one of the main melodies to just such a haunting and somewhat ominous tone. Plus, the fact that it’s called “Human Subject” on the album. I feel like I’m rambling (heck, I know I am), but just all the elements and the build up of that episode, it does something to stir my emotions! Just gotta sit for a moment and think about everything that happened.

Getting to sit and really rewatch these episodes each day as a part of @tristampparty, the argument? discussion? talk? between Vash and Wolfwood right before the end of the episode, with Vash asking Wolfwood why did he shoot and him replying "Mercy," is another standout moment for me. I wish I had more time to write about it (or could at least put it into words better), but I love how it explores the dichotomies in Vash and Wolfwood's thinking or ideology, which was set up in ep. 4 and explored in this one. Wolfwood's response, "Mercy," causes Vash to stop and think since I'd argue that directly contradicts the reason Vash wanted to keep Rollo alive.

Based on my interpretation, which feel free to disagree with, to spare Rollo from death, to finally fulfill his promise to Rollo that we saw in the flashbacks, saying how he would be there if Rollo ever needed help, to Vash, that is "mercy." The comfort of having someone who can see him for the person underneath all the machinery and experimentation and to not instantly run away in fear, this is Vash's perception of "mercy" in this situation. However, for Wolfwood, because he is just like Rollo, taken away from his childhood home to be experimented on, death and escaping the fate (and likely the pain) that was forced upon them is "mercy." Wolfwood's actions represent the first time someone in their group, or really who isn't labeled as an explicit foe/enemy, actually manages to upset Vash since Wolfwood broke the main tenant of Vash's philosophy.

.

.

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Thank you for reading and coming to my rambling session! As I briefly mentioned above, there are a lot of episodes and moments that I cannot get over from TriStamp. And while I don't know if I would say ep. 5 is my favorite, I just wanted to give it some love and talk about its ending for today.

[slytherinshua]

HOME WITH YOU

genre. fluff. inseong as a dad. warnings. a toddler (great heavens). mention of overworking. pairing. husband!inseong x nurse!reader. wc. 1.1k. request. no. a/n. inseong is so very dad coded :( along w youngbin also but i decided to write for inseong first probably gonna have that youngbin dad fic soon tho

“You messed it up, daddy!” You heard muffled squeals from the other room. It was still the first week of kindergarten for your 4 year old daughter, Mina. She wanted to wear pigtails every day for school, and your husband had been trying to oblige her request every day where you needed to sleep in.

You worked late shifts at the hospital, especially during the flu season that was just starting. It was exhausting, but coming home to Inseong and Mina always made it worth it. 

You forced your eyes open enough to check the time on your phone, groaning when you realized it was still before 7 am. You hadn’t gotten home until past 2 last night, and you were definitely feeling the effects of continual loss of sleep. You needed a break.

The high pitched giggles from your daughter’s bedroom mingling with the deeper raspier chuckles from Inseong brought a small smile to your face. You were happy to be able to hear their joy. But a bittersweet feeling panged your heart as you were once again reminded that Mina was growing up, and because of your work, you were missing out on her childhood.

There really wasn’t much you could do. You couldn’t ask for less shifts— the hospital needed all the nurses it could get, especially since it was already short-staffed. You couldn’t quit your job, either. You needed the money to be able to support your family. The only thing you could do was keep going, with the small hope that the workload might lessen with time.

It was almost time for Mina to get to school, so you heaved your body up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You didn’t bother changing— you would probably find yourself falling back to sleep after you said goodbye to her, anyway— but you tried to rid any traces of your tiredness from your face. Though Mina was little, she was very observant. She didn’t understand complicated concepts like overworking, understaffing, and responsibility. But she did understand that if mommy was grumpy, it probably meant that she was tired; and mommy was only tired because she was never at home.

You walked into Mina’s room after you had deemed yourself presentable and immediately smiled at the sight before you. Your daughter adorned 2 lopsided pigtails tied with bright pink scrunchies. They were definitely messy due to your husband’s inexperience in dealing with hair— some loose strands of hair escaping them at the bottom, but they looked cute enough. The teachers at the kindergarten would probably redo her hair if it got undone anyway. Given the bright grin on your daughter’s face, and the way she was smiling up at your husband, you figured she was pleased with her new hairstyle.

“You already for school, Mina?” You asked, kneeling down to be on the same level as her.

“Yes!” She squealed, running up to you to give you a hug. You held her for longer than a normal hug with a toddler would last as you didn’t know when the next opportunity to hold her would be. Though she squirmed a bit, she hugged you back until you separated from her.

“You look very pretty today. Did your dad do your hair for you?” You tilted your head as you admired the messy masterpiece that Inseong had created on her head. The scrunchies matched her pink outfit, altogether making her look twice as cute as usual.

She hummed happily, holding a pigtail in each hand, “It doesn’t hurt when daddy does my hair.”

You laughed, “Of course. He doesn’t want to hurt your precious head, does he? I wonder how long they’ll stay in, though.” You murmured the last part, amused at how the left pigtail was already slipping. Inseong had gone to pack Mina’s little bag, and was now back with it in his hand.

“It’s time to go, princess.” He ushered, taking Mina’s hand and slipping the backpack on her back. “Breakfast’s on the table— coffee on the counter.” He called back to you as he lead her out the door.

You sighed, half happy and half exhausted. Seeing your daughter always energised you, but the high only lasted so long before the crash you always experienced. You were feeling it now, and although your brain and body wanted nothing more than more sleep, you chose to go find the food that Inseong had left out for you.

You smiled at the plate of pink dyed heart-shaped pancakes on a plate waiting for you. You got your cup of coffee and sat down to eat, checking your phone for your next shift in your schedule. Your eyes widened when you read it.

Y/n L/n and Park Sunhwa’s shifts covered for the next 2 days. New locums hired for the second week of September.

You hadn’t had a 2 day break in what felt like years. You wanted to laugh, or maybe cry. You had been so, so exhausted this past month. You finished your breakfast just as Inseong returned from dropping off Mina to school. He picked up on your elated smile quickly, and it quickly triggered his own.

“Why so happy, hm? You looked tired this morning.” 

“I’m off for the next 2 days.” You told him happily as you loaded your dishes into the dishwasher.

“Really? That’s amazing, love. You deserve the rest.” He smiled, pulling you into his arms. You sighed as you leaned your head onto his chest and circled your arms around his waist tightly, letting all the exhaustion and frustration slowly release from the embrace.

“It’s been so exhausting. Missed you so much.” You mumbled, savouring every second you could feel being so close to him. The gentle squeeze of his arms around you, his calming scent reaching your nose, the soft thump of his heart in his chest. You were so glad to be back in his arms.

“You should go back to sleep while you can. It’s hard to sleep when Mina’s back from school.” He suggested, swaying you back and forth in his arms.

“Want to sleep next to you.” You responded, not objecting to the idea, but hugging him a little tighter just in case he might try to escape.

He laughed, stroking your hair, “Okay. We can sleep next to each other.”

Getting back into bed, this time cuddled up next to your husband, felt like home. It was quiet and intimate, and drowsiness quickly took over your body. You said I love you’s in hushed voices, and Inseong pressed light kisses to your head, reminding you of how hard you had worked and how proud he is of you. You fell asleep before him given your tiredness. He held you in his arms for a long time, listening to your steady breath and appreciating the feeling of you so close.

↳ sf9 taglist: @eternalgyu,, @weird-bookworm

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 14/Oct/2022

So I got back from my break this week, and I had a wonderful time seeing my friend! We talked about Wayhaven A LOT, so I had to be super careful not to let spoilers slip, hehe! :D

But I was seriously craving writing by the time I got back on Wednesday! 

Had to jump back in with social media days first though, which was a good way of getting myself back into the groove. Writing the Patreon Spooky Specials helped curb some of my built up writing needs, lol!

Also had a massive meeting with Nai this week to talk out where things are at and where we need to be headed now that we're so close. She has some awesome fun marketing things planned coming up that I am so excited for her to share, and I got to really plan out how I want the final push of writing to go.

Fitting in everything else was the difficult part, what with editing, getting stuff to SpunkyCat, chapters to the sensitivity readers, starting to look at how beta-testing is gonna go (hoping to get some professional beta testers in this time around as well!), playtesting, playtesting some more...then playtesting again, lol!

But it was good to list everything out and just see where we're at.

Mostly I will just be focusing on getting the last chapters out. I was ahead of myself for Chapter 19 before my break, so I'm hoping I can blast through the last section of that tomorrow and next week. 

While I was on break, I did think over something in Chapter 19 I want to change though. It fit so perfectly into the scene at the time, but it’s a big revelation that is actually a major part of the Book 4 opening, so I'm definitely going to have to leave it out, or it will lessen the impact of the revelation in Book 4!

I already know what I want to replace it with in that scene though, so I'm excited to write that! :D

I had a couple of asks about the dates for Patreon Scenarios (which I know I usually do at the beginning of the month), so here they are:

'On a Moonlit Night...' (Felix/Farah Spooky Special) - October 6th

Having been ordered to set up camp and keep watch for the night, F and the MC find themselves a little distracted…right up until the point a shadowy figure decides to make a spooky appearance outside of their tent.

And as the MC says, 'You know, I’m pretty sure this is how most horror movies start.'

-

'Skeletons in the Closet...' (Nate/Nat Spooky Special) - October 13th

An unexpected encounter with a shapeshifter leaves the MC with even more unanswered questions about Nate/Nat's past...

-

'Through Fog and Smoke...' (Mason/Morgan Spooky Special) - October 20th

When something, or someone, is trying to weave the past to their liking, Mason/Morgan takes major offense to it...especially when it might mess with their precious memories of the MC.

-

'That was a little Corny...' (Adam/Ava Spooky Special) - October 27th

As if a corn maze on Halloween night wasn't scary enough, there's some Rogue supernatural hiding out amongst the bales preying on unsuspecting victims. But what better excuse for Adam/Ava to request the MC's time than with another mission...?

-

I hope you all have an amazing weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I’ll update you all again next week! <3

[eriquin]

The Trolley Problem, Part 38

Hey, you know how there's a prop glitch where Eddie's missing poster at the end of season 4 says that he's 17? Yeah, I'm going with "what if that were true?" and making it all worse.

Also, Wayne's back.

(master post)

Steve woke up with a start. His alarm clock hadn’t gone off yet, but something had definitely made a noise. He sat up and listened carefully. He didn’t hear anything, but he kept his steps quiet as he got up and went to check on El. She was still asleep, curled up in the middle of the big queen-sized bed in the guest room. He didn’t step inside to check any further, but he left the door ajar. 

He crept downstairs to see if there was anything else out of place. The front hall and kitchen looked just the same as they had before. Something was still making him uneasy, though. Something had definitely woken him up, he was sure of it now. He went to the sunroom to get his bat. 

It should have been right by the back door. It wasn’t. Steve froze. He knew where he’d left it. The only reason it was by the door was because El was sleeping upstairs, and he didn’t want to scare her with it accidentally. The door itself looked the same... except that the deadbolt wasn’t flipped. He knew he’d locked it last night. He knew he had. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as he slowly turned around.

There was a man in the hallway, just outside of the basement door, watching him. He had a shotgun in his arms, pointed at the floor, but clearly ready to be aimed at him. The spiked baseball bat was propped up against the wall by his feet. He nodded when Steve saw him.

“You’d be Steve Harrington, then?” the man asked. He gestured with his free hand for Steve to take a step closer. “Why don’t you come out where I can see you?”

Steve put his hands up and stepped into the living room. “Uh,” he said. “I am, yeah.” He swallowed hard, barely able to take his eyes off the gun. The man was older, with a gray beard and a worn baseball cap on his head. He was wearing a denim coat over a flannel shirt, worn blue jeans, and work boots. He certainly didn’t look like he was from the lab. Steve tried to remember if he’d ever seen him before, either in his past or his memories of the future, but he didn’t know him. 

“That’s far enough,” the man said. “I’ve been asking around after you. Seems you were the last one seen with my nephew. Now, I’ve got some questions, and you’re gonna answer them.” 

If Steve’s mouth wasn’t already dry because of the shotgun, it would have gone dry now. “You’re Wayne Munson,” he said quietly. 

“Yep,” Wayne said. He moved his hands to cradle the shotgun a little differently. Steve didn’t know what difference it made, but it felt threatening. “Now, where is my boy? What did you do to him?”

Steve couldn’t figure out what to say. He started trying to get his thoughts together, but it all came out like babbling. He didn’t know how to explain it in a way that wouldn’t sound crazy, and the added threat of the gun was keeping his brain from finding any diplomatic answers. “I didn’t mean for it to happen,” he said. “He was just supposed to help. It wasn’t supposed to happen to him. I shouldn’t have even brought him.”

Wayne let out an angry snort through his nose. His eyes were very cold, and Steve could see his shoulders tense. “You’d better start making sense, boy,” he said. “What happened to Eddie? Where is he?” He stepped into the living room, shifting the weight of the shotgun from one hand to the other, but still not pointing it at him. He was definitely still too far away for charge at him, though. 

“I don’t know if I can explain it,” Steve said. “He was... Something took him. I don’t know where he is.” His heart was pounding so loudly that he was sure the man could hear it. “I’m trying to find him, or at least stop the thing that took him so... So he can come back.” His voice cracked on the last word, and he didn’t know how much more he’d be able to say.

There was a creak from the dining room. Wayne reacted first, spinning around to look. His hands kept control of the gun, but it didn’t matter. Just as he moved, an invisible force flung him back. He hit the far wall hard, right next to the fireplace, and dropped onto the sofa below it. The impact shook the wall, knocking things off the floating shelves. 

Steve ran into the living room, sliding to a stop in front of the dining room door and falling over onto his knees. “El, wait,” he yelled. “Stop! Don’t hurt him.”

She was there, hand outstretched and glaring behind him, where she’d thrown Wayne. A trickle of blood ran from her nose. “Gun,” she said. “Bad man.”

“I know, I know, but... Shit.” Steve got up and braced himself against the door frame, hoping that blocking her line of sight would stop her from murdering Eddie’s uncle.

Wayne groaned and pulled himself up. “What in the hell...” he said, rubbing the back of his head. His shotgun had fallen onto the couch next to him, and he picked it up.

“Don’t shoot her!” Steve pleaded, putting his hand out at Wayne. He looked back at El for a second. “And don’t hurt him. He’s Eddie’s uncle.”

El’s face softened, and she lowered her hand. Her chin quivered, just a little. “Not bad?” she asked.

Steve shook his head and looked back at Wayne, who was staring at the two of them. He slowly put the gun down. “It ain’t even loaded,” he said quietly. “I just wanted to scare you.” 

With the threat of death gone and the crisis under control, Steve let his back hit the door frame and sagged, sliding down it until his butt hit the floor. He let out a shuddering breath and pressed his hands to his eyes. 

He felt El crouch down and lean against him. “Steve?” she asked. She sounded scared.

“Shit,” he said. “Shit, I just... I just need a second.” He pinched the bridge of his nose until he was sure he wasn’t going to cry, then looked up. She still had a nosebleed. He put his arm around her and got back up. “I’m okay.”

El nodded slowly. “I am glad you are okay.” She looked past him at Wayne, who was sitting on the sofa and staring at them. She squinted at him. “You do not hurt Steve,” she said. “He is good.”

Steve sighed and walked her into the living room. His mom kept a box of tissues on one of the end tables, and he handed her one to clean up her nosebleed. “So, I can try to explain again,” he said to Wayne.

Wayne propped his elbows up on his knees and clutched his hands together. He had laid the shotgun on the floor in front of him. He stared at El. “She just threw me across the room without touching me, didn’t she? I didn’t imagine that?” 

Steve shook his head. Even though his heart rate was coming down, the motion still made him a little dizzy. He sat down on the other couch. “You didn’t imagine that, sir,” he said. “She can do that, sometimes.” 

“All right,” Wayne said. “I guess I better listen to your explanation.”

It was a long conversation, and a lot harder than the one Steve’d had with his friends. The guilt about getting Eddie involved threatened to boil over with every sentence. El stayed silent through it all, just nodding along when things made sense to her. Wayne kept a solemn look on his face, occasionally glancing at her before looking back at Steve.

“So this monster took Eddie instead of the Byers boy?” he asked. 

“Yes, sir,” Steve said. “It happened so fast. I didn’t have time to stop it. I tried to... To lure the monster away from him, give him a chance to escape.” He clutched his injured hand to his chest, and felt that lump in his throat rise up. “But I don’t know if it worked. I don’t know if he’s alive or not.”

Wayne frowned. “How would you know?” he asked. “You said you had some foresight, knew what was going to happen to that kid. But, how did they know he was alive in that place?” 

Steve cleared his throat. “Because he figured out a way to communicate. The other world is like a bad version of ours, all decaying and stuff, but all the things are in the same place. And sometimes, things echo, and you can interact with them and make things happen.”

This made Wayne sigh and sit back. “You sound like you’ve been there yourself.”

“Yes, sir. In the future that hasn’t happened yet. I got trapped there with... Well, with Eddie. And two girls, but they don’t know anything about this, either. Also, they’re both younger than me. That’s why I went to talk to him about it. Because I thought he’d understand the whole weird shi—” He caught himself and looked at El. “Stuff. All the weird stuff about the other world, and because he was older. I thought—”

“How old are you?” Wayne asked. 

“Uh, right now? If you don’t count all the weird time stuff, sixteen.”

Wayne shook his head. “Ed’s fifteen, son.” 

“What?” Steve froze. “No, he’s... He’s a senior. He’s got to be at least—”

“He skipped a couple of years when he was a youngin’,” Wayne said. “It figures he didn’t tell you, but he ain’t old enough to...” He rubbed his hand over his face and took another look at El. “None of you are old enough for this.”

Steve stared at a point on the wall past Wayne’s head. “He can’t be... He was driving, though.” He was saying it to himself, trying to wrap his head around Eddie being that young. That meant he was Nancy and Robin’s age. That meant that Steve had always been the oldest. 

“Well, I couldn’t really stop him from doing anything. He got himself a van from somewhere and he was gonna drive it.” Wayne sighed and tried to get Steve’s attention again. “You didn’t say what these ‘interactions’ looked like in our world, son.”

It was El who answered. “The lights,” she said. She looked up at Steve, clearly worried. 

Steve forced himself to snap out of it. “Yeah, the lights,” he said. “In the Upside Down, the other world, you can hear people talk here, and if there’s a light, you can make it blink. Like... When we were stuck there, Eddie knew S.O.S., and we used it to get someone’s attention, and...”

Wayne had a smile on his face for the first time since Steve had met him. “Hot damn,” he said, almost laughing. “I knew it. I knew my boy wasn’t a ghost.” 

Steve looked up at him, his face going slack. “You... Did you see...?”

“Last night, the lights in the trailer started flickering, just like that, S.O.S., while I was calling round to folks who might’ve seen him. Caught my eye, and I just started talking to the air, like maybe something was trying to get my attention.” Wayne wiped his face and sighed. “And wouldn’t you know it? The lights answered. Thought I was going crazy at first. That’s why I’m here. I asked them if you had something to do with it. Two flashes for yes, one for no, so...”

A sob escaped Steve’s throat. “He’s there. Of course he is. Of course he’d go home.” He got up, but wobbled a little when he did. Wayne got up and steadied him. “We have to go. We have to bring El, see if she can talk to him. Maybe she can get him back.”

“Hold on a minute now,” Wayne said. “I’m not against it, but you said government folks are looking for her. We’ve got to be careful about it. Maybe wait until after dark to bring her over.”

“I can’t,” Steve said. “My parents are coming home today. I need to find somewhere to hide her before then, somewhere that isn’t my house.”

El slipped her hand into Steve’s and tugged at it. “The woods?” she asked. 

Steve turned to look at her. “You can’t just hide in the woods, El,” he said. “The lab is going to be searching for you in those woods.”

“The house,” El said. “You said in the future, I live in a house. In the woods.”

He blinked a few times. “Hopper’s cabin,” he said. “That’s on the other side of Hawkins. Yeah, you could hide there. We just have to figure out how to get there without anyone seeing us. I don’t know if it’s safe for me to use my car. They might already be looking for me, after what happened to Heather last night. If they were watching and saw me show up with Robin, they might investigate... Hopper already said that he’d be by.” 

“We’ll take my truck,” Wayne said. He got up and pointed out to the backyard. “I’m parked up on the other side of the woods there. Nobody will look twice at me driving out to a cabin somewhere.”

“They might if I’m in the truck with you,” Steve said. “And I’ve got to show you where it is.”

Wayne raised an eyebrow at him. “You don’t, actually. I’m old friends with Jim Hopper, and I know where his grandad’s cabin is. But you just throw a cap on over that mop of hair and you’ll be fine.” 

Steve sighed but agreed. He got dressed and packed a bag for El. She followed him around quietly, but there was a hint of excitement in her step. She was probably tired of being in his house.

They had a quick breakfast before heading out. Wayne’s truck was just where he’d left it. It had a bench seat, and El sat between them and kept her head down. Wayne drove them out to Hopper’s cabin. It was a mess, but the kind of mess that came from years of disuse instead of a monster attack. That was a bit of a relief to Steve, who remembered what it looked like after Starcourt burned down.

“We just need to make sure the door locks,” Steve said. “In the future, Hop cleans all this up and makes it a nice place for him and El to live. He basically adopts her.”

Wayne rubbed his chin. “That so?” he said. “Well, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think that he’s the kind of man who would do that right now.” 

Steve frowned at him. El did as well. “You don’t think so?”

Wayne sighed. “Jim’s a decent fellow, deep down, but he’s... I don’t know how to say it. He’s coasting along. He’s still coming back from what happened to his daughter.”

That threw Steve for a loop. “Uh. I guess I don’t know him as well as I thought I did,” he said. “I didn’t even know he had another daughter.”

Wayne dusted off the couch and sat down. “You two, come here for a sec.” He patted the space next to him. 

El gave Wayne a wary look, but followed Steve and sat down with them both. They had only cleared out a little bit of the cabin. If it was going to work as a hiding place for more than a day or two, they would have to really move things around. 

“You’ve got to understand, even if you know what happened the first time around, that doesn’t mean it’ll all happen the same way,” Wayne said.

“I know that,” Steve said. “I mean, obviously.”

“This is more for Miss Elly’s benefit than yours, Steve,” Wayne said. “She’s hearing you talk about how Hopper was her dad in your world, and she’s getting her hopes up.” He sighed and reached over to take El’s hand. “Darlin’, I don’t want you counting on Hop and you to get along right away. He’s still grieving for his Sarah.”

El blinked a few times and slowly looked between Steve and Wayne. “Where did Sarah go?” she asked.

“Well, honey, she died,” Wayne said. “A few years ago now, but he still misses her.”

She nodded slowly. “Was it monsters?” 

“No, no monsters,” he said. “Just sickness.” 

Steve’s face fell. “I didn’t know that.” He looked around and realized that some of the boxes had Sarah’s name on them. “Should we even be here?” he asked.

“It’s as good a place as any,” Wayne said. “But we can’t all stay here all day. Miss Elly, do you think you’ll be all right here for today? I’ll take Steve home so he can handle his parents, and when it gets dark, I’ll come back to get you.” 

El nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said solemnly. But when Wayne got up, she tugged on his sleeve again. “Why ‘Elly’?” 

He smiled at her. “Well, I don’t know. It just seemed to fit you a little better.”

“All right,” she said. 

They found an old TV among the boxes and plugged it in so she wouldn’t be bored all day. She hugged them tight before they went. Wayne told her that he’d knock ‘Shave and a Haircut’ on the door when he got back, but she didn’t know what that was, so he had to demonstrate. 

Steve made sure that she had a way to get out of the back of the cabin if someone else came by. He didn’t like leaving her there alone, but it was better than his parents finding her. 

Wayne gave him a lift home, dropping him off by the woods again, and he made his way back to the house. There was a big burned spot in the grass in the backyard that he was dreading telling his parents about. He decided to put it off by heading into school, even though he’d be late. It would be better than his parents catching him skipping.

Tagging: @neonfruitbowl

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 4) Chapter Ten

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter Ten: God, Why is It Me You Always Test?

Summary: Eve gets another chance from (Y/N), but it goes to Hell anyways.

            “You look like you saw another death person,” said Em as (Y/N) walked into their room.

            (Y/N) groaned. “Eve keeps flirting with Lucifer.”

            “They do have a fling going on,” said Em, shrugging. The use of “fling” was intentional since both teens thought that Lucifer and Eve wouldn’t last. It was just Lucifer being in a bad place and Eve projecting her love for their relationship in the past onto their dynamic now.

            “Yeah, yeah, I know, but if Eve could try not dressing up in sexy costume of herself to seduce him when I’m in the house,” grumbled (Y/N).

            Em made a face. “Oh…Ew.”

            “Exactly,” huffed (Y/N), throwing themself down on Em’s bed dramatically.

            Em patted their back. “Don’t worry. Lucifer is responsible.”

            (Y/N) raised their hand to give Em a doubtful look.

            “Okay, more responsible than we give him credit for. Sometimes,” amended Em. “He’s not going to go crazy to have ‘fun’ with Eve while you’re here.” They nudged (Y/N). “He cares more about you.”

            (Y/N) smiled. “I guess.”

            “(Y/N)!” called Eve’s voice as she threw open the door to Em’s room.

            “If you’re not wearing real clothes, go away!” shouted (Y/N).

            “Don’t worry, silly, I am,” said Eve brightly.

            Em tapped (Y/N)’s shoulder and whispered, “You’re safe.”

            (Y/N) rolled over and glared at Eve. “What do you want?”

            “I thought we could give bonding a try again,” said Eve, (thankfully) wearing a dress instead of the leafy biking and bra from before.

            (Y/N) narrowed their eyes suspiciously. “No thanks, I’d rather not have another panic attack.”

            “That was an accident!” defended Eve.

            Em put a hand on (Y/N)’s shoulder and gave Eve a dark look. “They said they didn’t want to.” Em was the only one who could tease (Y/N) or force them to do stuff they didn’t like. If Eve was trying to make them do anything…no way. That made Em get protective.

            “Please? I swear I won’t make you wear anything, and I’ve been reading on gender identity,” said Eve. “I’m really trying. Please, will you give me another chance?”

            (Y/N) was silent as they looked at Eve. They sat up.

            Em squeezed their shoulder. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can throw her out,” she whispered.

            (Y/N) sighed. “It’s okay. I’ll give her another chance since Lucifer likes her.” They looked at Eve. “Fine. You get another chance. Don’t mess it up.”

            Eve brightened and grinned at (Y/N). “I won’t!” I’ll show them how cool I am and show Lucifer I can bond with them! This is perfect!

            (Y/N) looked at her wide smile. It’s not like it could be worse than last time, they thought.

l

            Apparently, it could.

            “Come on, dance!” called Eve, trying to pull (Y/N) to the dancefloor of Lux.

            (Y/N) pulled their hand back. “Yeah, I’m fine. And underage.”

            Eve waved a hand. “Come on, break the rules! It’s so much fun to!”

            (Y/N) groaned and rolled their eyes. God, why is it me you always test? “I think I’ll just hang over here.”

            Eve just grinned, already intoxicated (and probably high). “Okay! Have fun!” She danced away into the crowd.

            (Y/N) sighed and turned back to the bar. The bartender recognized them as who he and the rest of the staff knew as Lucifer’s Kid. He knew they were underage, so he wasn’t going to serve them alcohol, but he would keep an eye on them.

            “Can I have a Shirley Temple?” asked (Y/N), slouching on the bar.

            “No problem, kid,” said the bartender.

            (Y/N) sighed. This was going to be a long night. Hopefully Lucifer will arrive soon and distract Eve so I can escape.

l

            “Brother,” said Lucifer, walking into the Penthouse and spying Amenadiel. “How’s it going with the Teenager Mutant Ninja Angel Baby?”

            He’s one to talk about having weirdly powerful kids, thought Em from where they and Amenadiel had just been staring at each other silently. Honestly, (Y/N)’s way worse than Amenadiel’s baby could ever be.

            “Why didn’t you tell me that Eve was here, Luci?” questioned Amenadiel, getting straight to the point.

            “Oh, please, I’m not gonna text you every time someone stays the night. Think of my data plan,” said Lucifer.

            “We have unlimited data,” said Em, rolling their eyes. (Y/N)’s sassiness towards Lucifer was rubbing off on her. (That and Em wanted to hurry this conversation up to get Lucifer to make sure (Y/N) was alright and to show Eve was out of control still).

            “Besides the point,” said Lucifer.

            “This isn’t just some fling, Lucifer,” said Amenadiel, irritated. “This is Eve! Eve!”

            “We know her name,” said Em. Angels were so dramatic. (And demons, too. Em knew Maze, after all).

            “I really don’t think you understand the dangers of having Eve here!” said Amenadiel, standing and approaching Lucifer.

            “If you’re worried about what happened last time, don’t be,” said Lucifer. “I’m not gonna corrupt her. Besides, don’t know how I could. She’s pretty much up for anything these days.”

            “Yeah, including taking (Y/N) to your club,” said Em.

            Lucifer froze. “She what?”

            “Yeah. I can’t get in since I look like a human teenager, but (Y/N) wanders through the Lux all the time when coming and going so the employees didn’t blink at them appearing with Eve,” said Em.

            Lucifer straightened. “I’m sure (Y/N)’s alright…But I will go and check on them.”

            “And that’s the problem!” said Amenadiel. “Eve is here for the old you. The one she remembers from the garden. And because of that, she’s willing to drag (Y/N), a human child, into dangerous situations! She thinks you’ll find it entertaining since the you from the garden loves chaos.”

            “I don’t want (Y/N) to be put in danger. Eve knows that,” said Lucifer. He’d never put his kid at risk.

            “She clearly doesn’t,” said Em, crossing her arms. “She still thinks she can impress you through bonding with (Y/N) but has no idea what she’s doing.”

            Amenadiel nodded forcefully. “I don’t want you to revert back to your old habits just because Eve is around.”

            “Well, I’m still the Devil,” said Lucifer bitterly, remembering how it felt for Chloe to look at him like a monster. “So I won’t be changing since I never did in the first place. And I don’t even know if I want to be with Eve, anyways.”

            That’s good, thought Em.

            “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go and check on (Y/N),” said Lucifer, brushing past Amenadiel and walking to the elevator.

            Amenadiel sighed as Lucifer left. “At least he still cares about (Y/N).”

            “Eve can’t come between them,” said Em. Amenadiel glanced at her. “Trust me, I know. I think that as long as (Y/N)’s there, Eve is going to find that Lucifer isn’t the same one she knew.” They shrugged as Amenadiel stared. “Don’t worry about my boss.” She walked away to the elevator. “See ya, angel.”

l

            “Detective, what are you doing here?” asked Lucifer as he tried to gaze around the room to see (Y/N).

            “We still have a case,” said Chloe.

            “We do?”

            “Marco’s place was cleared out, so he’s still out there,” said Chloe.

            “Well, that explains my lack of closure, but I’m afraid I need to find (Y/N), so I’m busy,” said Lucifer.

            “Is (Y/N) alright?” asked Chloe, switching to mom-mode unconsciously.

            “They’re somewhere around here since Eve dragged them down,” said Em, appearing beside them.

            “Right, uh, wait there, Detective. I’ll find (Y/N) and then return,” said Lucifer.

            “Oh my god, Chloe!” Ella quite literally fell out of the crowd onto Chloe. “You came out to celebrate!”

            Lucifer and Chloe stared at her high state in surprise.

            “Oh, nope, working,” said Chloe, pushing Ella off of her gently. “Working.”

            “Oh, this jacket is so fuzzy and amazing,” said Ella, hugging Chloe again. “Aw. It must be like being hugged by a Muppet.”

            “Okay,” sighed Chloe, and Lucifer tried to life Ella off of her before leaving.

            “Oh my god, I’ve got someone you have to meet!” said Ella, holding Lucifer and Chloe back. Em was stuck in the mass of people and couldn’t get away, groaning in annoyance. “This is Eve!” said Ella as Eve fell out of the crowd, also high and tipsy.

            Chloe sighed. “Yes, we have met.”

            “She gave me drugs,” said Ella happily.

            “Eve, where is (Y/N)?” demanded Lucifer.

            “Hm? I dunno, they didn’t want to party,” said Eve, pouting.

            “Eve! Where is (Y/N)?” repeated Lucifer, grabbing her by the shoulders.

            “I left them at the bar,” said Eve. She smiled. “Aren’t you happy that I’m bonding with them?”

            Lucifer groaned. “Eve, you can’t bring them to a club. It’s dangerous for them.”

            “Aw, come on, Luci,” whined Eve. “You used to love being reckless.”

            “This is different, Eve!”

            Chloe’s eyes widened. She was seeing Lucifer acting as a father again. She relaxed slightly. At least no matter what Lucifer was like with her because of Eve it didn’t extend to (Y/N). Lucifer was still looking after them.

            “This is about my ki—!”

            Bang!

            A gunshot pierced the air. Screams echoed in the next moment as people ran clear of the man walking down the stairs towards Chloe and Lucifer. It was Marco.

            Chloe eyes widened, and her hand went to her gun. Her eyes scanned the room, but no one was injured. Marco had just fired into the air.

            “Don’t try it!” said Marco, finger on the trigger again. “Detective Decker, I need you to listen to me carefully!”

            Lucifer’s eyes narrowed as Marco approached. He couldn’t risk Marco firing and hitting anyone (hitting (Y/N)). “Now, Marc—”

            Bang!

            Lucifer’s eyes widened as a bullet pierced his stomach. Blood leaked from his stomach as his proximity to Chloe caused his body to weaken. He collapsed to the ground, and he felt his consciousness waver.

            The last thing he heard was a familiar voice screaming “Dad!” and the lights in Lux dimmed as shadows rushed over them.

            (Y/N)…

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

@ceridwyn3

@technikerin23

@poetoflawed

@slytherinroyalty16

@ilse235

[glorious-blackout]

Milex/TLSP/AM Fic Recs 💖

I was inspired by @puzzlebeanficrecs' recent posts to share some of my all-time favourite fics in this wonderful fandom. This is by no means an exhaustive list as the sheer number of amazing works I've read by incredible writers over the past couple of years is too many to count, but here are some fics that I keep going back to time and time again 🥰

1) Somewhere Darker by @elorianna

Alex hasn't slept properly for weeks. His days are plagued with writer's block, and his nights are haunted by strange and frightening dreams. Progress on the second Puppets album has all but ground to a halt.

Miles is haunted too, by the nights that he and Alex have shared, and the boundaries that they've crossed. Now, he's caught in a game of pretence which neither one of them seems destined to win.

But all is not as it appears, and when a working break away from LA turns into a strange misadventure, Alex and Miles must each decide where their real priorities lie, and how much they're willing to risk in order to attain their hearts' desires.

Will they find a way to repair their fragmented relationship? Or will they remain trapped in a nightmare from which neither one of them can ever wake up...?

One of my favourite fics ever and I cannot recommend the sequel 'Baby, He Can Find You' highly enough if you haven't read it yet!

2) All's Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You) by @yellowloid

Asking Miles to marry him is something Alex has been wanting to do for far too long now. After months of meticulous planning, the day has finally come ‒ and yes, maybe he's a bit nervous, but he's firm in his decision, and he can't wait to just get down on one knee and pop the question. Nothing ‒ nothing ‒ is going to get in his way.

The universe begs to differ.

This entire series is so beautifully written, but this particular fic owns my heart. Such a perfect balance between angst and warm fluff.

3) under these lights you look beautiful by @alexturne

Miles got completely lost in his voice. There was a faraway quality to it, like he belonged somewhere else entirely, but somehow had decided to grace them with his presence and Miles felt blessed to be near him if even for a short while. The subtle elegance hidden in his slender figure, the mannerisms of his fingers wrapped around the corners of his notebook. His words were spoken softly, quietly, but without any hesitation or faltering.

Alex is an elusive poet, who has a way with words and Miles is a bartender, who is completely mesmerized.

The queen of beautiful, heartfelt AUs! Every story of hers is like an escape into a warm hug, but this may be her magnum opus.

4) you cannot turn away (but nice try) by @kisameanslight

Alex Turner thought he got over the love of his life, but then they run into each other again a decade later. Whether they’ll be able to let the past go or not, only time will tell.

I have such fond memories of following this story as it came out and being kept on the edge of my seat with each new update. Her Vampire AU 'c'est horrifique!' is equally incredible 💖

5) The 'Amerlie' Series by @lanatural-books

Welcome to the universe of Amerlie.

All parts intertwine and should take you on an interesting adventure.

I can't begin to pick a favourite entry in this series so I'll simply recommend the whole thing. Such an exquisitely written, cosy love story between our favourite two idiots.

6) Joie de Vivre by @gasdancer

"Two young men decamp to rural France to make an album together. It ~is like love."

Possibly the best Baby Puppets fic/series ever written (and there's a lot of competition for that title). I have such a weakness for stories set in France during the recording of TAOTU so of course this series owns my heart.

7) Last night, what we talked about... by @rock-n-roll-fantasy

... it made so much sense... This little story came into being because of three obvious prerequisites: 1. Baby Monkeys were the cutest band in the world 2. Especially Baby Alex 3. Indie bands get drunk from time to time -> Conclusion: At least once, Baby Alex must have got too tipsy to walk back to the tourbus, so his equally tipsy friends had to take care of him. Further conclusion: It must have been very adorable :)

Not Milex, but just pure Baby Monkeys sweetness distilled into one adorably written fic. I'm in love 🥰

There are so many more fics that I love and wish I could mention but I'd probably be here all day. Feel free to add your own fic recs and share your favourite works in the fandom - I'd love to hear about them 💖

[daydreamgoddess14]

Aspirations pt. 5

Sydcarmy Masterlist

Full Masterlist

Notes at the end this time, all I'll say here is - I hope you guys get what you want from this Chapter!

A couple of date nights don't go quite to plan...

~~~~~

“5 ceviche and one pumpkin, please.”

“Yes, Chef.”

“Marcus, where are those desserts for table 7?”

“One minute, Chef.”

“One minute too long, keep it moving.”

“Yes, Chef.”

“Faster please guys. I’ve got orders backing up. T, you good babe? How you finding the new menu?”

“I’m good, baby - it's gorgeous. Got sirloin in three minutes.”

“Beautiful. Carm, you got the dauphinoise to go with that?”

“Yes, Chef.” Syd took a note from Richie as he passed through the kitchen, “birthday on table 9. You gonna sing Rich?” She teased lightly. 

“Sure I am, Chef.” He winked, walking out with the desserts for table 7. Carmy appeared at her right hand side,

“Only 4 duck left, Chef.”

“Thank you, Chef, noted. We've done 16 duck so far today, really great addition to the menu. Must be the plum sauce.” She scribbled a note and passed it to one of the waitresses to let them know. Carmy stayed by her side, “you good?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re just… really fucking good at this.” Her pen stilled on the tables she was working through. They’d hardly spoken in over a week, occasionally one making more of a push at reconciliation than the other but ultimately going back to stalemate each time.

“Thank you.” She said, sincerely. She risked a real look at him rather than just off over his shoulder as she’d had to do for the last few days. She gripped the countertop, blue eyes full of so much… something taking her breath away. In the restaurant, she could hear Richie singing Happy Birthday; she couldn't help the grin that broke out across her face. She took a breath and got back to calling out the orders. Back to stalemate. She tried desperately not to care, but if she’d missed him before, then she was really, really missing him now. His friendship, their easy connection, all of it. 

“You ready for tonight?” Tina asked,

“What’s tonight?” Carmy asked across the stations,

“Niña bonita got a hot date!” Tina winked.

“Oh fuck no, Syd - is she kidding?” Richie asked.

“Appreciate your concern Richie, but I can look after myself.”

“It’s him though, isn’t it?” 

“Yes Richie, it’s the fish guy.”

“Fucker.” He muttered, grasping Carmy’s shoulder as he walked past. Carmy didn’t say anything.

“Isn’t that guy a total douchebag?” Marcus asked from his section.

“Ella no se casará con él.” Tina muttered.

“No me casaré con nadie, T.” Syd replied.

“Yo, English?” Marcus called out.

“She’s allowed to have some fun. Idiots.” She said, throwing a glare towards Richie, Marcus and Carmy who’d kept his head down and stayed out of the interaction.

“Last twenty minutes Chefs, do I still have your focus?” She slammed her hand on the counter, 

“Yes, Chef.” They all called back.

“Thank you.” They fell back into silence, listening only to Syd’s calm instructions. As each station was completed, they started their clean down. Carmy came back to Syd just as Richie made his way into the kitchen. 

“Doors locked, Chefs.”

“Thanks Richie, we good?”

“We are, great night out there. Happy customers.”

“Excellent.” She beamed at him. 

“Hey cuz, Claire’s out there. She ok to come through?”

“Uhh, just gimme a minute. Syd, can we talk? Please?”

“Ahhh, Syd's not the only one on a date tonight, huh Jeff?” Tina grinned. Syd nodded and went to the back doors. Outside, Carmy lit up a cigarette. 

"I wanted to apologize. You were right." He sighed, pacing. "You're always fuckin' right, Syd. It's nothing to do with me who you date, and I'm sorry. I have no right to try and tell you what to do. I want you to have a good time. I need to get my shit together." He held her gaze with pleading eyes, 

"Thank you. I know you and Richie want to protect me or some shit, but -"

"It's not my business, I know." She nodded. 

"We need to fuckin' figure out how we get back to before," she started, "this isn't fair on anyone and…"

"And?"

"I miss you. I know you have Claire and it's selfish, but I feel like if we get back to how things were, then that fixes everything." 

"What if we can't go back to how things were?" He asked quietly. 

"Carm, I can't help you fix - or not fix - what's going on with Claire. You need to do that yourself."

"I know. I'll do better, I'm trying to do better." She nodded and went back to business while she had the opportunity, 

"So the duck and the ceviche are really clearing up off the new menu?"

"Yeah, we should hold some extra ingredient stock from next week."

"And we'll do a family party night in a couple months? The Sunday before Christmas?"

"Yeah, Nat's got it planned in."

"Ok. We should go back in, finish up." She went to put a hand on his arm, but stopped herself at the last moment. She was back in the kitchen just as Claire came through,

“Hey everyone.”

“Hi Claire Bear,” Richie greeted her with a hug. Syd started working through the night's orders until Tina came over.

“Why don’t you get ready to go chica?” She murmured, “I’ll clean up.” Syd knew Tina had picked up on the tension recently, even more so in the last week. She gave a small nod.

“Yeah, if that’s ok?”

“Long as you come back here and show me your look. I wanna see how you clean up!” Syd took off to the office with a laugh, getting her bag from her locker on the way past. She closed the door behind her, took off and folded her whites carefully. She had two options for her date and as she looked at them both, she was suddenly torn on which to wear. She pulled open the door an inch or two and called out for Tina who appeared quickly. “What’s up?”

“I dunno what to fucking wear?” The shorter woman laughed and pushed her way into the office. She looked over the two options while Syd nervously twisted her hands. She could hear the others calling out their goodbyes - Marcus, Ebra, Gary, Angel and Manny all out the door as quickly as possible behind the front of house staff. Eventually, Tina picked up her suggestion and put it into Syd’s hands. She’d taken the top from option one and the skirt from option two and combined them. “No, no that’s not one of the choices - it’s too much, we’re only going to a cocktail bar -”

“You’re going out to have fun, you have legs for fuckin’ days and you’re hot as shit, Syd. You can dress up sometimes, y’know?”

“Jesus fuck, I’m gonna need some fucking alcohol.” 

“Yes baby, liquid confidence!” Tina grinned, leaving her to change. Syd did as she was told, she knew she’d never hear the end of it if she defied Tina. She changed quickly, twisted her braids into an updo, and headed back out to shove her things into her locker and get her shoes. From the open doorway, she heard Richie whistle,

“Holy fuckin’ shit, Chef.”

“Don’t say it.” She warned,

“Don’t say what?”

“That I’m… I dunno, dressed like I’m asking for trouble, or whatever workaround you wanna use to say I’m dressed inappropriately.”

“Do you feel good?” He asked, sincerely. She nodded. “Good. You look fuckin’ great, kid. And despite what you might think, I want you to have a good time.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled gratefully. 

“Yo Tina, fuckin’ see this fit Syd’s got goin’ on!” He called out immediately. Syd finished putting on her shoes and went back out to the main kitchen to get her phone. 

“¡Muy caliente baby!” Tina smiled happily. At the commotion, Claire came back through the swing doors, closely followed by Carmy.

“Wow, Syd, you look great!” She exclaimed. “I love the skirt!”

“Uhh thanks guys,” She pushed her phone into her bag, “can we stop with the whole… compliments thing now please? Jesus, you’re making me awkward as fuck.”

“Hey, are you gonna be ok?” Carmy asked,

“Yeah.”

“Just… he’s a dickbag, that’s all.”

“Carmy, I’m sure Sydney can look after herself.” Claire pointed out,

“I know she can," he turned to Syd, "but if he tries anything and you’re not interested, just… call me. Or Richie, and -”

"I will be fine. Do not make me pepper spray you.” Syd mumbled. Claire laughed, 

"I can't believe they're so protective! Well we're going. See you guys later." 

"Just forgot my phone in the office, I'll be right behind you." Carmy told her. Syd crossed her arms across her chest, conscious that he hadn’t stopped looking at her since he’d walked back into the kitchen. She felt wildly under (over?) dressed. She remembered her blazer on the back of the office chair and went to get it. He followed to get his phone, but took the blazer from her, holding it out for her to step into. She slid her arms in and rolled up the sleeves while he straightened the collar, his hand dropping to graze her hip as she started to step out of reach. “Have a good night, Carm.”

“You too. Don't fuckin' hit me, it's just you…-” He started, "you look beautiful." He finished, his voice tense. She shook her head,

"Don't. You're really not making this any easier for either of us, Carmy." She sighed and went back out to the bright kitchen to pick up her bag, Richie kissed her on both cheeks,

“Hey, you call me if that jagoff tries anything y’hear?”

“I hear you. Thank you.”

“See ya later, beautiful girl.” Tina hugged her. 

“Bye guys, see you later.” She unlocked the front door ahead of Carmy and Claire and stepped out into the cold night. 

*

Fish guy was indeed a dickbag. As much as it pained her to admit that everyone had been right, she couldn’t deny it. He was rude to bar staff, arrogant, and he hadn’t stopped ogling her all night. His eyes felt like the greasy sheen from the fryer that she couldn’t quite shift. She was halfway through her third cocktail and she knew it would be her last. She wanted to know that she was still in full control and she knew that a fourth cocktail would remove some of that. They both finished their drinks and she picked up her bag,

“Thank you for tonight, I think I’m gonna head off.”

“You don’t want another?”

“No, no thanks.” She went to think of an excuse but reasoned with herself, she didn’t need an excuse to get out of a bad date. A simple ‘no thanks’ should be enough. And if it wasn’t she always had the threat of setting Richie on him.

“Can I see you again?”

“Umm… no. I’m not really up for dating at the moment. Lots going on at work, y’know.”

“Plus the whole thing with Carmy?”

“The what?”

“Yeah, Rich said you’re, like, into each other but not ready for each other… whatever. Anyway, it’s cool. I know they think I’m an asshole and they’re probably right. Hell I’m not gonna pressure you into anything cos they’d fuckin’ murder me for sure.”

“Yeah… y’know you shouldn’t pressure anyone, right? Like, just cos I have Richie or Carm ready to throw hands… other women have people ready to do the same thing y’know?”

“Oh god, I know. I’ve had my nose broken plenty of times.”

“Huh. Should maybe listen to sense then?” She suggested wryly, she'd make sure Richie passed the message along to staff at all restaurants in the area to avoid him. “Have a good night.” She left some cash on the table to cover her drinks, and went back out into the cold. It felt like a pitifully short time that she’d been in the bar. She checked her phone, it was barely midnight and thanks to the cocktails, she felt wide awake. She walked in the direction of the restaurant where she could call an Uber and wait in the warm. She dug her keys to the back door out of her bag and switched on the single strip light over the pot wash. She took a glass from the bar and poured a glass of wine from a bottle on the family shelf and then sat on the floor of the locker area with her back against the cool wall. She scrolled through the Tik Tok's Richie had sent, and replied to his and Nat's check in messages with a thumbs up. It was nice to enjoy the silence of the kitchen she adored. She heard the back door open softly and close again and rose to pick up a knife from the magnetic strip on the wall, she held it up in front of her. 

"Who's there?" She hissed, cursing herself for not putting on more lights, she recognised the broad shoulders immediately though, "Carm? Is that you?"

"The fuck are you doing here, Syd?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Bad date?" She taunted, "Wait, stop. That sounded shitty, I apologize." He shrugged,

"No need, you nailed it. Can you put down the knife?" She put it back on the wall. "How about you, what happened on your date?" Syd sighed. 

"Turns out you guys were right, he was an asshole…" She sighed heavily. "You can say I told you so now." 

"I'm not gonna do that. I've been way too fuckin' much of an asshole myself the last couple of weeks." 

"You said it," she rolled her eyes. 

"I'm distracted and distant as well. Who fuckin' knew, huh?"

"Ouch. Well, I have a terrifying co-worker who scared the shit out of my date," she shrugged. "which, turns out, wasn't a bad thing, but I am never telling anyone in this building if I go on a date again." She laughed. "I didn't mean to threaten to pepper spray you earlier, by the way. I mean, I did. And I would if I had to. But I wouldn't, like, enjoy it. Much."

"Good to know." He looked over to her, "So I'm guessing you're not gonna see him again?"

"God, no. He was sleazy and gross. I've decided I'm not the dating type." She leaned her hip against the cold stainless steel counter to take some pressure off her feet. 

"You're not?"

"Nope. You gonna fix things with Claire?" He shrugged, 

"We keep just goin' round in circles, y'know? Same argument every time. I'm too distracted by this place, working too fuckin' much, too distracted by you -"

"Me? I haven't -"

"I know. You haven't done anything. It kills me that you've been so distant. It doesn't mean you don't distract me." She kept her eyes on the counter, absentmindedly rubbing at a dried water mark with her thumb. "I'm the shittiest boyfriend. I'm pretty sure I fucking spent more time wondering if that fucking prick was touching you than I did asking my girlfriend about her day."

"That is very shitty. I would say she deserves better but… well. That would make me the dumb one."

"You're not dumb."

"I know. But I do dumb stuff all the fucking time. And she does deserve better."

"So do you." He'd moved from leaning against the walk-in, to standing next to her by the counter, she could feel her heart pounding. The day in Nat's kitchen felt like a lifetime ago, the last time they'd had even the briefest physical contact. Her hands shook with the effort of staying under her control. She felt the warmth of his body as he stood at her side, it radiated from him and she realized she was cold. Legs still bare in an empty kitchen, gone midnight in early November. She leaned in, just a little. Her eyes fluttered shut as his nose grazed her cheek, her breath shaking almost as much as her hands. He covered her hand with his own, laughing softly at how cold they were, "Fuck, baby. Putting you on pastry next." He teased. His breath danced across her neck, making her shiver, 

"Don't you fucking dare," she warned. She felt a tiny kiss behind her ear, her body betraying her with a whimper she was certain he'd heard. His other hand came to rest on her hip underneath her blazer, his thumb finding the sliver of skin where her top had come untucked. She didn't feel cold anymore, she felt like her whole body was alight. He held her hip with the most imperceptible grip, giving her exactly enough space to move away but silently begging her not to. She let his hand turn her slightly on the spot so she could face him better. She kept her eyes closed, felt his kiss on her jaw and her cheek before he paused. He rested his forehead against hers, one hand coming to the nape of her neck while the other stayed on her hip. She could hear only their shared breath, smell the citrus from the three sidecars she'd had forever ago, the beers he must have had. She can tell he's giving her enough time and space to say no. She finally opened her eyes, "this is the worst idea either of us have ever had." He nodded against her, his nose bumping hers, 

"Probably." He agreed.

"I do dumb stuff all the time."

"So do I." She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips before pulling back the tiniest amount. She barely had time to register his reaction, there was just enough time to see a longing and an intensity she'd never seen before and he was on her, capturing her mouth with his own. Syd pulled the thick arms of his jacket down, letting it drop to the tiled floor with a dull thud. She brought her hands up to his hair and let them rake through it lightly. His kiss was desperate and wanting, as she broke contact to tip her head back and catch her breath, he moved to the column of her throat. As he nipped at the soft skin there, he made her moan, tugging his hair a little in surprise. His faint whine has her rolling her hips against his, 

"Jesus fuck, Carmy," she gasped, "I am not going to fuck you in our kitchen," she could feel him laugh somewhere in the valley of her breasts. He'd slipped off her blazer and was pulling the straps of her top down her arms, she pulled him back up to her. Both breathless, pupils blown, "I mean it." She told him as firmly as she could. He kissed her again, so softly, so gently, it made her knees buckle. 

"Heard," he whispered with a grin. "Beautiful, fuck you're so fuckin' beautiful." He went back to her collarbone, the hollow at the base of her neck. Her hands slipped up and under his t-shirt, feeling the taut muscles on his back. She could feel him through his jeans, hard against her thigh. He toyed with the hem of her skirt, "Syd, can I…"

"Please, please… I need you," she cried as he took one of her nipples into his mouth, swirling his tongue around and biting gently. His deft fingers moved her underwear to one side and slipped inside her, she shuddered against him, her head dropping to the crook of his neck. 

"Holy shit, baby," he hissed, holding her tightly to him. He thrust his fingers into her torturously slowly, building her orgasm from so deeply inside she could hardly breathe. "I've got you," he murmured through kisses, "I've got you." His thumb brushed against her clit and she rocked into him. She grasped at his shoulders as she got closer and closer to the edge. "I want this… you, always." He kissed her hard as she came, swallowing her moans as she clenched around his fingers, his name on her lips. He worked her through the orgasm, holding her up against the counter while she regained her breath and stopped shaking. She kept her forehead on his shoulder as he smoothed her skirt back into place and pulled the straps of her top back up, leaving small kisses on their path. She played with the soft curls at the nape of his neck, "you good?" He asked quietly, his nose against her cheek. She moved to look at him, her warm brown eyes still blown with lust.

"I don't know how I'm ever going to look at you in this kitchen again," she cringed. He laughed, 

"Same. It's all I'm gonna fuckin' see." She stepped slightly to the side of him, needing space and air between them. 

"We really fucked up. What if we ruined everything? This is… this is everything to me," you are everything she added silently. 

"I won't let that happen, I promise. We carry on, and in March we're gonna get you a fucking star. I want to give you everything, Syd. You deserve it. That'll never change." She brought a hand up to his cheek,

"I want it for you too." She sighed heavily, exhaustion taking over. 

"I'll take you home," he offered. "Then I gotta figure some shit out." She hummed in response, 

"Yeah. This can't happen again, Carm. It just can't."

"I know, and it won't."

"And I'm not going to lose my best friend over this either."

"I'm sure Nat appreciates that."

"I meant you, asshole." She rolled her eyes, her mouth scrunching to disguise the smile. "Come on, I need sleep." She pushed him towards the door and he took her hand in his own.

~~~~~

..... verdict? When I tell you I had an existential crisis on this Chapter! 😅 I had no idea you guys would be so mad at Carmy! But then, Syd is everything so I totally get it!

So I hope I redeemed him just enough for you! And I hope you're happy with the tip over from friends to something more... 🤞

I'm pretty proud of this one, hope you liked it!

[taintmansion]

Alright so here goes a big personal mental health post…

As I’ve posted about since august, I developed a terrible anxiety induced insomnia which through finding a very helpful community online now identify as “sleep anxiety” which sort of accidentally happens to people when sometimes even one sleepless night sends them into a fight or flight mode. My brain now gets confused and thinks I should not sleep. I am often on 2-4 hours at most, often broken up and requires me to work hard to make myself relax and just wake up feeling unrested.

I’ve had ups and downs, one medication that seemed to work a while but made me feel like shit (while still working a stressful job that set this whole thing off) and then took myself off it and figured I probably need to be on an actual anxiety medication and have 2 family members on lexapro so hey, let’s ask for that. Was given that by a rando telehealth doctor because with shit insurance didn’t know where to go. Got through 2 days on it with what felt like heightened insomnia and anxiety zero appetite etc.

I stayed at my mom’s for half a week after my job took me off the schedule shortly after I gave my 2 weeks notice but told them I’ve been sick and may not make all the last shifts. That was the 2nd day of lexapro and felt I would lose my mind if I kept taking it at that point especially without a psych to follow up with. So, at my mom’s and trying a stress relief supplement, I started sleeping better and better. Went back home, had one bad night but then oddly on an air mattress slept good again.

Just as things were going so well for me, I went to a shitty dentist office i already didn’t like but wanted a tooth filled, and this dentist dropped a drill in my mouth cutting a hole under my tongue. Didn’t even know things like that happened to people! My anxiety was skyrocketed and every day since then sleep has been a struggle again. Actually I only slept decent the 2 times I’ve taken a Xanax which I got prescribed to help me get through the first few weeks lexapro because a trusted dr (gynecologist tbh) at least told me to keep trying. I signed up for better health insurance but it won’t kick in until November 1st. I’ll find an actual psychiatrist.

Anyway. After getting through a wedding out of town that was a big stressor for me, it went pretty well all things considered, I’m starting lexapro once again tomorrow morning and committing to getting through at least 2 weeks and see how it goes. Even though a top side effect is. Insomnia. 😑 This time I have the xanax to take as needed.

Just felt like typing this all out I guess because this has been the biggest mental health challenge of my life. Somehow worse than when I had panic attacks for months when I was 19. This has had me feeling beyond broken, confused, not myself, like I’ll never be ok again… totally scared and lost. So going forward all I have is meds hopefully helping me and the help of this yt channel and the guy’s book that arrives in a few days. This could be a continued struggle or it may get better soon. I’m scared and don’t know when I can work again. I only have so much funds and help but also very very blessed with my family which helps a lot. I hope I get past this and have a good 2024.

[sol-draws-sometimes]

Disc World bookclub thoughts- Monstrous Regiment

Pages 20-28

Hey @anna-neko ! Did I miss last week… yes. BUT JUST BECAUSE I MISS ONE WEEK DOESN’T MEAN I JUST ABANDON THIS. Look, finals are the week, so these past few weeks have been alot… also I’ve been hyperfocusing on dnd(stares in adhd). I’ve barely read but that’s alright. Once finals are over, I’m going on a roadtrip, so I should have time to read when we’re driving(unless I catch up on critical role…we’ll see).

It’s so late and I’m literally way too tired for nuance. With expectations set, Lets go

“Ankh-Morpork is a godawful city,” he said. “Poisonous, just like its river. Barely fit for humans now, they let everything in—zombies, werewolves, dwarfs, vampires, trolls—“

Something something we live in a society. Cue family talking about how NYC is corrupting the youth or something 🙃. Tbh, insert any big progressive city, and it should work for most of them.

A lot of good stuff in this page(and the next few ones)

1. Something Something colonialism bad. They[Borogravia] are the bad guys here🏃🏃🏃

2. Cool POV stuff coming back. Especially with the song and what not

3. Damn Strappi’s certainly something

4. I hate nationalism. The line b/w patriotism and nationalism is real hard sometimes. I mean, something something, true patriotism is knowing how your country’s fucked, and wanting to it be better. You fight for change cause you love it, and that is way more patriotic than just blinding fighting for country and defending it, even when it is in the wrong.

5. Uggh, the national anthem. Yes the flag thing is an actual thing we do in US. And certain teachers DO loss their shit if you don’t stand up/sing. Look, it’s not like I’m trying to disregard veterans, it’s just… weird and indoctrinationy. Plus, they added, “Under God,” during the cold war so, that feels even more insidious.

6. Poor Wazzer man. I’m glad he rebels in his own small way. Small acts of rebellion are still rebellious.

7. Learning new phrases! I figured due to context clues, but it’s always good to check.

Literally this conversation is literally my fucking thoughts

Uuuuh. War bad! Look. See!

“Well, I’m not buying into it. It’s all trickery. They keep you down and when they piss off some other country, you have to fight for them! It’s only your country when they want you to get killed!” said Tonker.”

Tonker. King Behavior!

And just as they’re going to sleep, so am I.

Fuck this book is good!

Here’s another quote good night!

It’s all lies, she thought muzzily. Some of them are just prettier than others, that’s all. People see what they think is there. Even I’m a lie. But I’m getting away with it.

Ps: I realized last time I stopped at pg 20 but wrote 60… my bad.(should be fixed now tho)

I will add ID text some other date cause I don't have the mental energy rn. I just did, scan text, and copy pasted it into alt w/out checking. If someone besides Anna finds this post and wants them, just @ me in the comment and I'll @ you when I finish this.

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