#i wish i could genuinely but i have to keep it for now

[nackrosor]

Gale Dekarios x Tav

1,1 k. - Gale comforts you after an emotional breakdown | hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship

a.n: I wrote this solely because I needed to give myself a hug. But then I thought there could be someone else struggling with depression/anxiety/ecc who needs to feel loved and would like Gale to comfort them, so I'm sharing this for you ♡

You trembled against him, your hands desperately clutching onto his robe as he drew you into his lap and embraced you.

"I'm exhausted." you admitted with a weary sigh. "I can't take this anymore."

Everything was catching up to you; the storm outside, the terrible memories flooding back into your mind, the exhaustion of having to fight off those dark thoughts for so long. And it was all beginning to drain you. Keeping your troubles hidden from your lover had also been particurarly grueling. You wished you hadn't but you were scared he would abandon you.

Gale gently pressed his lips against your forehead as he held you close to his chest, his warmth enveloping you whole.

"I know, my sweet," he whispered in a soft voice, one that despite his attempts was full of concern, "just let me hold you for now, alright...? Try to quiet your mind for awhile. I'll help you through this."

"Why?" you simply asked him, your voice so vulnerable and earnest as it was subdued. You took a deep breath, soaking in his scent as you unconsciously nuzzled closer into him, clinging onto his robe with both your hands, holding on so tight that your fingertips turned white.

"Why would you stay by my side? Especially after everything I've just told you..."

That simple question was enough to take his breath away. He knew it was reasonable of you to wonder about that, since the emotional breakdown you had just gone through had left you in a poor mental state, and mostly in need of reassurance. He was more than ready to give you just that. However, it didn't make your question nor his answer any less powerful.

His fingers ran through your hair, his warm breath brushing the shell of your ear as he snuggled you closer.

"Because you are a sweet, compassionate, and bright soul who deserves someone to hold you when life's storms hit. Because your pain becomes mine when yours is as deep as it is and our bond is as profound. Because you ought to be happy, and I want to be a part of your life to assist you and ensure that you reach such happiness. Ideally, even be the source of your joy."

His words caused your heart to swell with pure affection. You raised your head from his chest, your touched gaze meeting his. Your hand reached out to tenderly graze his jaw as a faint smile finally bloomed on your face.

He melted at the sight of it, and his eyes lit up with some relief. He'd had enough of your tear-stained face, more so after learning the cause of your weeping. You were always a vision in his eyes, yes... But your stunning smiling face held his heart in a vice. He would gladly allow you to maintain such control over it if it meant he could always see you happy. Tears of joy may flow, but not of anguish.

"You like... Broken things, don't you?" you asked him softly, a hint of amusement in your otherwise genuine tone.

Gale gently took your hand in his and pressed it against his lips, placing a tender peck on the center of your palm.

"The only broken thing about you is your heart, my sweet," he replied softly. "And who wouldn't want to mend one of the most valuable things in this world? I am lucky to have found such a rare jewel, even if its shine isn't at its brightest right now." His eyes twinkled with a hint of playfulness as he added, "Little bit of elbow grease and you'll shine brighter than the sun, just like you were meant to."

His answer genuinely moved you, warming your heart and eliciting a soft chuckle out of your lips. The more time you spent with him, cocooned in his arms, heartened by his words of praise and reassurance and unconditional affection, the more convinced you were that he could, in fact, heal your heart if you allowed him. The way he had been listening to you, comforting you and reaffirming his place by your side when you were at your lowest had only reinforced such thoughts... along with your feelings towards him.

"Oh, Gale..." you cooed softly, placing your hand on his cheek yet again to gently cradle it. As you gazed up at him, your eyes shone with admiration, hope, and gratitude. "You're truly one of a kind."

The playfulness in his look vanished in an instant, his eyes softening at the praise. He felt the warmth of your palm on his cheek, and he leaned into your touch. A tender smile grazed his lips as he took a moment to study your fond gaze. You looked just as taken with him as he was with you; the realization made his heart full.

"And you're nothing short of a miracle, my little sunbeam." His smile grew even wider and warmer as he beamed at you. He brushed his fingers against your spine in a soothing circular pattern, pressing you even closer to him, while looking down into your eyes as if you were the only thing in the universe besides him. The only thing that truly mattered, anyway.

"The world is a better place because you're in it, and I mean that more than anything else."

Your jaw tensed as his words pierced your heart, causing your eyes to well up with fresh tears. Your hand on his cheek stilled, your chest felt tight, swelling with devotion.

You didn't know what to say. No one had ever spoken such lovely words to you, or made you feel so loved, valued, and treasured. This was truly foreign to you. You could only stare up at him in awe, your heart racing, your stomach turned into a nestle for a swarm of butterflies.

"Gale..."

The wizard felt his throat tighten with emotion. The moment was so beautiful, so pure, that it nearly left him breathless. Every fiber of his being vibrated with pure raw affection for you.

His touch was gentle as he brushed his thumb against your cheek to wipe away a stray tear. Then he leaned forward and planted a gentle kiss on your forehead while his arms securely wrapped around your frame, encircling your waist.

He took a deep breath and smiled.

"I love you, my dearest. I'll always love you."

You could feel your heart nearly burst in your chest. A faint sob escaped your trembling lips as you leaned in to rest your forehead against his, your palm on his chest, right above his heart.

"I love you too." you managed to whisper despite the rasp within your voice. "So much..."

Every ounce of emotion that had been threatening to overwhelm him erupted in that very moment, and he found himself clutching you harder against him, kissing the crown of your head over and over again.

There were no words. No poems or sonnets that could adequately capture that moment, the connection he felt to you.

His voice was thick and breathy when he spoke again. 

"We'll face every storm together, and our love will always see us through to the other side.... I promise."

MORE STORIES 🥀

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[drdemonprince]

CW: suicide, commitment, psychosis

My sibling is someone who unequivocally says being committed saved their life and was not inherently traumatic outside of the extremely traumatic mental health crisis that led to it. (However, our local psych ER/psych inpatient is probably one of the better ones and does not use any kind of restraints or force medication. They seem to have an okay track record explaining what the pills are and asking if the person can try them, which I get can still be coercive in some cases, but worked well with my sibling. Also, I was visiting them as much as I could every day, which they found really helpful, and I could keep my eye out for any issues.)

My sibling (~30) had a severe psychotic episode that doesn't quite fit any current DSM diagnosis. They went 0 to 100 from no suicidal ideation to actively attempting suicide in front of me due to delusions about being hunted by supernatural entities who would torture them. They finally could not sleep for days, and therefore I could not go to sleep because they'd try to kill themself. They were not dangerous to me intentionally, but one or both of us could have been hurt by me trying to take a weapon from them. They could not think at all outside of panic and delusions and had no short term memory, so they describe themself as having been incapable of understanding their condition. They weren't able to engage with any social interventions, because how would you have the time or bandwidth if you were living in terror of demons about to torture you and couldn't remember conversations from an hour ago?

They went to the hospital voluntarily after being stopped from attempting, but then they were committed because of aforementioned memory issues when they shortly informed the doctors they had to leave and kill themself. In a moment of lucidity, they were glad to be there, but they just couldn't stay lucid from moment to moment. Trying to get outpatient help in the weeks all this was escalating had been fruitless, with a lot of dismissive assholes, but these particular inpatient docs actually cared and asked how they were doing and figured out a dose of antipsychotics that made it all just... stop like a switch had been flipped.

Once they weren't operating under the terrifying delusions, they 100% did not want to die and were so relieved I stopped them and got help from others when it was becoming too dangerous to us both for me to intervene alone. I get that this kind of crisis is really different from living with chronic suicidal ideation or depression, which is something I personally deal with on a low level, but it was a genuine, terrifying situation where someone's expressed wishes were the opposite of what they wanted when they could understand their situation more fully.

I am allowed to share this, but if this is somehow not on anon, please delete it. Stigma about psychosis is REAL.

Yo this is super helpful, thank you for sharing. One of the trickier aspects of upholding disabled people's autonomy and taking a harm reductionist approach to suicide and self-harm is the fact that people in a state of psychosis may temporarily want something they would otherwise never want.

Though with some experience working through it with a caring and informed support network, it is possible to stand in for the person's stated desires and help them get through the period of lacking lucidity -- and of course psychosis can become a lot less destabilizing with time. i know someone who relies on a close friend to help ground them when they're having delusions and hallucinations -- a quick phone call is now enough to convince them they don't need to kill themselves, but that's after years of getting used to having psychotic states.

glad you and your sibling found solutions and made it through this okay.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Can we have a Retsu, Soi Fon, with With Powerful Himbo

I had a blast and a half writing this.

Now! Your Wish Is My Command!

“Oh! Hey Retsu! I was gonna find you myself but Hanataro here screeched and shoved me in here as soon as I walked through the door!” you exclaimed with a smile as you sat on the edge of the bed, ignoring the massive chunk of flesh a hollow had taken out of you while Hanataro was on the verge of tears, trying to stop the bleeding and keep you from making the wound any worse.

“P-please captain Unohana, he’s insane! He tried to go find you himself! Looking like this!” Hanataro cried, tears pricking at his eyes.

He has always been such an empathetic young man.

“That will do Hanataro, please take a rest while I take it from here.” Unohana kindly told the shivering young man who instantly let out a deep sigh of relief before stepping away, allowing the Captain to take over.

“Now then, how did you get yourself looking like this?” the raven haired woman asked with a cold smile usually reserved for her enemies and those who tried to disturbed the bedrest of those who were injured.

Undeterred by this, unlike every other single creature in existence, you beamed at her as you went into detail of your exploits.

Graphic detail in fact.

Poor Hanataro nearly fainted as you spoke.

Eventually, you came to the conclusion of your tale, telling her of how you had to push one of the soul reapers in training out of the way to stop them from getting their head bitten off, and that if it weren’t for your Zanpakuto you would probably be down an arm but that you made sure to deal with it just as she taught you to.

Retsu chided you at first, before congratulating you on a job well done.

That is when she made her slip up.

“That is good, I am glad my little bits and pieces of instruction were able to help you dear.” she told you with a happy smile before realizing she had said that in the company of someone else.

Instantly she whipped her head towards Hanataro, who went ramrod straight and felt as if his soul was about to leave his body from the deadly look Captain Unohana was giving him.

“Now Hanataro, how much of that did you hear?” the captain asked the terrified squad member with a look of murder on her face, as if she was imagining all of the ways she could gut him like a fish if she so wished.

“N-nothing at all! Not a single peep!” Hanataro stuttered out, wishing desperately he was far, far, FAR away from where he was at the moment.

Then, like a switch had been flipped, Captain Unohana’s face returned to its usual, kind smile.

“Good, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t mishear what I was saying to my patient here. Now, I do believe you have taken a long enough break. Don’t you?” Captain Unohana asked her terrified subordinate who shook his head up and down before bolting out of the room.

“You didn’t have to scare the poor boy like that, you know?” you asked Retsu as you let out a yawn and leaned into her.

“I know, but I have a reputation to maintain, and… you are mine. No one else's.” she muttered, her voice taking on a darker tone towards the end.

“I know love, I know.” you whispered, listening to the beat of her heart.

Sui-Feng stomped through the streets in a rage as Omaeda did his best to steer her away from any brash action she may take.

He was doing this at great personal risk to himself, as she WILL eventually notice that the two of them were going in circles.

However, he seriously doubted that would be any time soon considering how absolutely livid she was at the moment.

He had genuinely never seen her so pissed before.

What in the Soul King’s name happened?

It was here that she began to rant.

Something about black cats, rouge cabbage carts and strings that were as soft as silk but as strong as iron and lighter than air.

That last part lit up a lightbulb in Omaeda’s head as he slammed his fist into the palm of his hand and said “Oh! You met my little buddy!”

Near instantly, the captain of the second division and the commander in chief of assaination within the soul society spun on her heel, a maniacal grin on her face.

“Now then Omaeda, what did you just say? That I met your “Little Buddy”? Is that right?” Sui-Feng asked with a scary voice that told her Lieutenant that there will be no arguing or lying to her unless he wished to suffer immense pain.

He offers a silent apology to you before telling his Captain everything she wanted to know under the pain of a violent death which she would most definitely give him if she was irritated enough.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You walked across the many roof’s, across the many streets, and through the many forests of the soul society as you patrolled your sector, looking for any trouble you could stop either with words or force if needed.

Now, imagine your surprise when you noticed a missile speeding towards you at incredible speeds the second you arrived in a clearing.

In this moment, you made a split second decision.

And that decision was perhaps the single most stupid idea in a long, sad, depressing history of stupid ideas.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The Head Captain liked to think he was a patient man.

At the very least more patient than he was in his younger days.

However, the sight before him right now was pushing that.

It was tea day for Squad 1, and they had an impromptu fireworks show going on.

The Bankai of the captain of squad two, something that was once rather crudely but aptly described as a “Giant Fuck Off Missile” had been let loose alongside another Bankai.

The other Bankai in question was your own.

A massive tree made of silk strings which were as hard of iron you controlled with ease and capable of slicing through everything you so wished.

And now, he was going to have to deal with this.

Why were young people so troublesome?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

You stood at attention next to Sui-Feng, both of you covered in scrapes, cuts, and bruises alongside both of your clothes being singed.

Across from the both of you, the head captain was sitting at his desk, glaring holes through the both of you.

“Do either of you wish to explain what that mess was about?” the head captain asked with an even voice.

Instantly Sui-Feng pointed her finger at you and exclaimed “This brute manhandled me in the market!”

“You were about to be crushed by a CART OF CABBAGES!!!” you shot back.

“THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU A REASON TO TOSS ME AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL AND CARRY ME LIKE SOME FAIRY TALE PRINCESS!!!” Sui-Feng retorted.

“A CART OF CABBAGES WERE ABOUT TO CRUSH YOU LIKE A BEE!!! THAT WAS NOT THE SITUATION FOR DELICACY!!!” you hissed back.

Sui-Feng began to ready a retort but was stopped when the head captain shouted.

“SILENCE!!!”

“YOU ARE THE CAPTAIN OF THE SECOND COURTYARD SQUAD!!! YOU ARE NOT SOME PETULANT CHILD WHINING ABOUT HAVING YOUR DRESS TORN!!!” the head captain roared at Sui-Feng before setting his eyes on you.

“AND YOU!!! YOU ARE A SEATED MEMBER OF THE THIRTEEN COURTYARD SQUADS!!! ONE THAT HAS ACHIEVED BANKAI AT THAT!!! YOU MUST CONDUCT YOURSELF AS SUCH!!! NOT AS A GALLIVANTING FOOL WHO RUNS THROUGH LIFE LIKE A BULL IN A CHINA SHOP!!!” the head captain shouted, his indignation at both of your actions cowing both you and Sui-Feng’s irritation at the other.

In response to his outburst, both you and Sui-Feng gazed at the ground, waiting for the Head Captain to dole out his punishments.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Omaeda felt as if his heart was going to give out at any moment from the stress of the situation he was currently in.

Before him, both you and his Captain were sitting on the floor, facing away from one another or as best the two of you could with the Kido that was binding you together at the hands, and both of you were being very obvious at how irritated the two of you were at this.

However, as he saw it, before him was a grenade that had its pin pulled and the only thing keeping it from going off was the fact that nothing had disturbed it.

This was going to be a very, very, VERY long month for all of Squad Two.

Omaeda especially.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Needless to say, you and Sui-Feng really hit it off after the first week of being attached to one another.

Before that… well… let’s just say there were a LOT of… let’s say emotionally charged moments.

More so after the two of you started catching feelings for one another, but in a WILDLY different way.

That being said, Omaeda was a bit concerned to begin with.

Not just because you were his little buddy and Sui-Feng was… Sui-Feng.

But because Sui-Feng was his comrade, his captain and she didn’t have people to look out for her like he did with his family.

But, once Sui-Feng started to research how to court someone officially as a Captain Of The Court Guard Squads, he got the feeling things were gonna be a-okay.

Also, the two of you were terrible when it came to controlling your spiritual pressure and emotions around each other.

Seriously, the two of you need to get a room, preferably far, far, far away from him.

[scaredgirlsilly]

another short story about gay trans people except they are monsters or whagever ::3

Chelsea

You walk down the street, keenly aware of everyone staring at your monstrous features. Too many eyes, too sharp of teeth, ghoulish skin, you just wish you could dissapear. Everyones looking, surely. You can feel their glares as you hobble past, hear the whispers under their breath. You wonder what they are saying about you, wonder what they are thinking about you.

You dont have the heart to look at any of them, you just keep your eyes glued to the sidewalk, only glancing up to see that your path is clear. Just keep walking, just keep walking. You're almost there. It'll be over soon.

As you glance up, something catches your eye, though. Or... more like some*one*.

Through the huddled mass of people that are making sure to keep their distance, you see horns poke out, far above everyones heads. Looking down you see large red triangular ears, red fur across their 3 eyed face, and a long snout. Their arms resting at their side as they walk, you see a third arm poke out to scratch their knotted fur on top of their head as they yawn, revealing several rows of teeth within their enourmous maw.

They're the most beautiful creature you've ever seen.

And they turn to look at you, and they meet your eyes.

You immediately turn away, horrified that

you were caught gawking, and start walking in another direction, *any* direction, just to get away from your social fuck up. You know what its like to always have eyes on you, you know how awful it is to always be seen, to always be judged. You should have known better, should have just given them the privacy they deserve. Gods you really hope they don't think you were judging them. They were just so... so... pret-

A hand grabs your arm, scaring you out of your thoughts, before you whip your head around to see none other than the beautiful monster you saw earlier.

"Hey..." they say, trailing off. You just kind of stare at her, waiting for her to continue, for her to chastise you for staring earlier. Gods you're so stupid!! How could you be so-

"What's your name?" And just like that, their voice brings you back down from your spiraling thoughts.

"T- Thalia..." you say, barely able to squeak it out through your nervous, shaky voice.

"That is a really pretty name Thalia," their voice is so kind, that little compliment almost makes you feel like your high. "Mine's Chelsea. Do you live around here?"

"Uhh... Yeah I- I just live around the block that way. I was just walkin to the store for some snacks."

"Oooo!! Oh em gee what snacks?"

"Uhhhh..." They seem so genuinely interested, its almost throwing you off. Why you? "Probably just some chips or cereal or... Somethin'. Nothin' too special..."

"Oooo hell yeah thats awesome. One of my favorite snacks to get is these little like... You know the lil' nerd candies?" You nod. "Yeah its like lil gummies *covered* in those nerds, they are *so fucking good*!! If i see a bag of those I *literally* can't stop myself from eating them"

"Woah hehe," you chuckle. Theyre just talking about snacks but they're just so... Excitable. You almost can't help but smile. "Yeah I'll... I'll have to see if they have some."

"Hell yeah. You won't regret it. Here I work over at the lil coffee shop down there, I'm off work in about an hour cause I'm on break right now, how about you swing by and I can hook you up with a free drink and, you know, if you want to, maybe after we could hang out some more cause you seem cool!!" she says, before leaning closer and adding, "And us monsters gotta stick together, you know?"

You almost can't take it. This is all too much. You just sit there for a moment in stunned silence, blinking at them, before realizing you should probably say fucking *something* so you don't creep them out.

"Oh uhh... Yeah that- that sound amazing! I'd love that."

"Hell yeah awesome!! This is so cool oh em gee I made a new friend!!" They giggle, making your heart jump out of your chest. How the fuck can one person be this cute!! "Ok well you have fun getting your snacks and I will see you in just a little bit!!"

With that, they start walking away, still facing you, and start to wave.

"Bye Thalia!!!!"

"Bye Chelsea," you wave back, probably too quiet for them to hear since you are still recoiling from how bizzare that was. Luckily, all your normal self depricating thoughts are being drowned out by just how infectiously amazing they were.

You finish your walk to the store, head held higher than usual, and a dumb, gay smile plastered all over your face the whole way. You also make sure to pick up those gummy things they were talking about. Maybe you'll be able to share them later. You're sure they'll love that.

[parrished]

we're in the same boat. uninstall it babe it's not worth it

my friends when I tell them I have a tumblr

[cinnamon-phrog]

I feel too sick to sleep right now, everything's' too cold or too hot and I can't even breathe without thinking I'm gonna throw up

[hatake]

something that really sucks about prolonged loneliness is feeling so desperate for emotional intimacy and then also so closed off to it because you're used to the isolation. it's an exhausting circular pattern and i hate it.

[oatbugs]

idk how to live so im going to talk to myself out loud until i do

[noscio]

Sometimes I feel like ppl forget that Yaldabaoth’s deal was to functionally let the Phantom Thieves (as just Joker) police society unrestrained and that the “game” was manipulated from the very start

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[enigma-absolute]

…

[deathsbestgirl]

is there a fandom word that's about shipping people as friends, no romantic/sexual context.

[skenpiel]

IM SO HAPPY TO BE BETTER!!!!!!! i had a full meal for the first time in days with faucking. fries and hot dogs and mash potato. i literally feel like i could weep with joy rn

[archiephd]

reading comprehension is dead and the unnuanced horrors are everlasting

[the-casbah-way]

i woke up too late to study (again) and it’s raining and i’m too depressed to go to uni so i have to cancel on all my friends today (again)

[legendoftherisingtide]

why did the anime and the fandom reduce uraraka to just being in love with deku??

the recent chapters have truly made me fall in love with her character but im watching the anime and everything is so,, like it’s honestly whiplash

every pivotal moment for her character is because she likes deku. I loved the scene of her jumping to save him and it flashed to her family and her newfound motives. I loved to see her character being more than Deku. I loved that growth and though I was disappointed when it started mentioning Deku, I realized he was important to her growing and who she is as a person. (Although I love the manga for expanding her character past her admiration for him)

And the moment they had together as they fell was genuinely touching,, there was no blushing, no over the top crush, it was real concern and care. I loved it. It made me forget all of the obnoxious belittling of her character and made me realize that they can be together without force. It was so simple and meaningful.

The anime can make jokes that don’t include uraraka blushing! They can write an interaction between these two that shows not tells. Her immediately rushing to calm him down because she knew he lost control. The way she slapped him like how she saved him in the entrance exam and then asked if it hurt. The soft smile on her face when she asked if he was okay. The way she holds him steady as he stumbles to get footing.

It’s all so subtle. And it’s so refreshing after so much insufferable time the anime puts into pointing and screaming Uraraka likes Deku. Gosh it’s such a good moment aaa

But then it went back to cheapening her character and continuing to push her towards this arc of mundanity. She wants to be a hero that helps people!!! LET HER BE THAT!! goodness gracious stop making every single thing she does go back to deku. STOP CIRCLING BACK TO WHERE SHE STARTED ANIME PLEASEEEE