#i'll get to eat and use the transit and Do Things probably

[meanderfall]

tax refund came in time for my trip to another city, let’s goooo!!!

[lilacsareinbloomagain]

Yandere time and hyrule headcannons

I'm not sure if you've seen the hype around sky being in his undershirt and being ✨pretty✨ in the recent update, but could I please request reader fawning over Yan!sky in his undershirt or some general hc's for him?

Thank you both for requesting!

Notes: I wasn't that online on tumblr around that time, so I only saw it now lmao.

Anyway, I did both headcannons and a oneshot, hope you'll like it!

Also, yes, I merged those two requests since headcannons can be piled into the same post.

I'll probably sound redundant in a lot of these, simply because I didn't write this at one go and when I got to it again I may have forgotten that I wrote it before. My memory is not the best, forgive me.

There are more headcannons for Time because he's my favorite, sorry.

I need a master list, seriously.

Edited before sleeping, I'm sleepy and probably messed up one or two paragraphs of this.

The oneshot in question.

TWs: Yanderism, Mentions of food and bad eating habits and a little of my fairy/fae brain rot.

Don't mind grammatical errors, please!

Headcannons for yandere Sky, Time and Hyrule.

Yandere! Lu! Sky x Reader

For starters, Sky is sweet, but he is very manipulative.

Therefore, don't be surprised if you notice you stopped doing many of the things you used to do when you first got through the portal.

Most of the time it's not even bad things!

He might team up with Hyrule and Wild to take care of your main health, like eating habits. If you're a picky eater then expect Sky to slowly transition you into eating a little bit of everything, in no time you'll be eating like Wild does.

Then again, he'll also make sure to get the ingredients to the foods you do eat without struggling, also getting Wild to make a separate meal for you, should you not eat that one specific recipe Wild made for dinner.

You'll probably be getting help from him when it comes to self-care habits as well, like, the max of skin care and hair care you can get at Hyrule. He will make the effort to talk to people who know more about your skin and hair type, those who have it and take care of it well.

But, we can't ignore the genuinely bad things he will try to influence you into doing...

Privacy? Gone.

Not only will he be around you most if not all of the time, but he will also always be paying close attention to you and what you're doing.

So if you believed keeping a journal in your language would help you keep some things to yourself, then think again. The privacy of using your language instead of hyrulean to write in your jornal will soon turn into a mere illusion. Despite being more quiet and seemingly the less imposing of the Links, Sky has already gone, and will keep going through lengths for you, which includes learning the language you use.

Of course he noticed you kept a private journal, and despite you trying to lie about the contents of it, it's only a matter of time until he is skillfully scanning through the pages with his eyes like he's reading his favorite book. Memorizing any and all information he can find about you.

As manipulative as he is, he is also delusional, he doesn't have any idea of what he is doing, he simply doesn't know that what he is doing is wrong on so many levels.

He's not doing anything on purpose, he's just trying to protect you and get you to like him, like a normal guy!! At least, Zelda liked it when he did this with her back then, just how different are you two?

Genuinely, Sky would have a hard time figuring you and your emotions out. You're a human being after all, and he respects that those things are not supposed to be easy to figure out. In fact, he highly respects and appreciates that you're complex.

Not that he'll respect boundaries, nope, no way.

You're a puzzle he's very much looking forward to figuring out. Honestly, the only puzzle he'd ever want to figure out.

So, I'll probably elaborate this later, but the chain as Gods. Sky would be very much a Thor. That means silly blonde lightening man.

Imagine hylians from Sky's era used matching earrings alike engagement rings, like, Sky just randomly inviting you to an overly nice picnic, just to hand you blue earings just like his.

And if you don't have your ears pierced anywhere it'd be even better in his eyes, since he'd just adjust it to be a "normal" ring.

It was actually an engagement ring, but you didn't know that, or any of the other Links, really, since this tradicional custom got lost in time.

Yandere! Lu! Time x Reader

I think pretty much everyone knows Time is a teasing bastard.

Don't get me wrong, he can be pretty mature, but trust me, it's not really common for him to act like that.

Time is used to pretending, he used many different masks to become different races in his journey, that was needed from him at the time, the same way that being the mature one is being needed from him right now.

Just because he is deeply traumatized emotionally and physically from his job as a hero doesn't mean his personality is lost as well.

It didn't change that much since he was a child, not really.

He is addicted to making you flustered, so if you get flustered easily I'm sorry for you.

If making you blush is a challenge then I'm just as sorry for you, because Time isn't quite known for giving up easily.

And he's good at making people embarrassed, too.

The amount of women who were in love with him is everything I need as proof.

But the worst part? He doesn't have bad pick up lines.

Look, Time is a toucher, so yes, his love language is physical touch, that makes sense to me.

That doesn't mean only cuddling, of course, it can mean cuddling and hugging when you're alone, but do expect a few more things.

I was gonna say hand holding in public, especially in crowded places, but you know what? Guiding you by holding the back of your neck is simply easier to him, and a lot more obvious "back off!" to strangers who look at you for far too long.

Also, randomly leaning against you, the two of you may be just walking and suddenly you feel a large mass lightly leaning against your own body, almost making you stumble. you might just be standing in front of the dinner table, reading a recipe book and once again you just feel that familiar presence right behind you, but instead of hugging you from behind he's just there, like he is reading the book along with you.

Remember how you were reading that one recipe book? Well he might give it a try and help you make something in the kitchen just to spend time with you. Like, you're just pouring ingredients in a bowl and he's there "helping" you by wrapping his arm around your waist to give you "emotional support", as he calls it.

He is, in reality, just standing there watching you cook, trying his best to resist the urge to distract you and simply annoy you, because he is still trying to make it seem like he is a mature, grown man, and definitely not one who is eyeing the flour in his reach and thinking about launching a handful of it at you.

You did see his hand slowly reaching for the flour in the corner of your vision. He only stopped once you threatened to scoop out his remaining eye should even a speck of flour hit your face.

Yet, Time is a creative man, flour was only one of his plans.

He's got wandering hands and wandering lips. And he can and will make use of those just to distract you.

And that's how Time became banned from the kitchen when you were the one cooking, only being able to join you for cleaning later.

So yeah, his love language is physical touch, but it is also disturbance.

In that matter, he's not very different from Wind when you two are alone. If you ignore his flirtatious moves, that is. But he's quite different when you two are with the others, especially if you've done, or is doing something to annoy him, then he has to keep up that mature facade of his.

He believes the others won't take him seriously should he reveal his actual personality, so really, when you're around others you'll only get glimpses of it from time to time.

It is mandatory from the Links to be stubborn, but Time takes the cake.

Maybe it is his age, but he will never change his mind, ever. No point in arguing.

So when he is silly, he is silly, but when he is serious he is terrifying, no exaggeration.

The worst part is that older people have a lot of respect in Hyrule, so no matter what he says, his word is law.

Now, don't get me wrong, by now, pet names are just a thing Time always does with you, in a way you barely hear your own name coming from his lips unless he's being really serious about something.

But actual words of affirmation? Not his thing.

He'd much rather be as clingy as glue to you when you're alone.

But, not like Sky's soft, light cuddles. Time Will basically smother you.

Seriously, it may be his sheer muscle mass, but he'll drap himself over you in a way you'll feel yourself surrounded by him.

In fact, the first time he did it you probably almost suffocated.

You'll get used to it eventually, though. Hopefully.

He's pontual and very strict as well, he and Hyrule are probably gonna be bickering in most matters involving you, like, for example, "five more minutes" naps.

Don't even try to trick him, you'll hear stuff like "I was your age once" and shit, the man will act like he's a hundred years old or something.

Then again, he might be, after all, he is older in mind than he is in body.

He was forced to mature quicker and went through a lot of trauma, that, and he also had to go back in time a lot of times.

Now that I think about it, he probably lived for longer than your grandparents. Just saying.

Yandere! Lu! Hyrule x Reader

Don't get him wrong, Hyrule is very much full of love, really. He cares about everyone equally.

Yet, as corny as that is, your name isn't "everyone", you're not anyone, you're you, how could he even think about possibly treating you the same way as he treats everyone else?

You're put on a pedestal, everyone else is treated equally by him, except you, you are treated like you are divine and not mortal like he is.

So you'll feel like a toddler 24/7 around Hyrule, he is not as stubborn as Time, he's just… Persistent.

The other Links will find themselves teasing him for it a lot, even if deep inside they are just the same.

Play nice, walk on the line and you'll have a Hyrule at your beck and call. If you know how to do it right, you will be able to use his babying to your own benefit, because trust me, his persistence can work on the Links much more than yours, after all, they trust him for being another Link.

I feel like he'd also help you keep pets, it may be his fairy nature, but he is just good with animals, especially with forest animals. Be them small or big.

Although he definitely has a soft spot for smaller pets, even more if you're the one asking him to bring along a pet you found.

Surprisingly or not, Hyrule is probably one of the most protective Links if you happen to lean more towards the naive/vulnerable side of the spectrum.

It's a general fairy headcannon of mine, but since fairies take care of forest and the animals there, specially the smaller or more vulnerable types of animals, then it's not new for them to be also quite protective towards humans close to them.

Bonus points if they have those traits.

But then again, you're Hyrule's darling, you may be as strong and independent as a Link yourself, but he'll still see you as in need of his care and attention at all times.

That also may or may not be another reason why Hyrule treats you like a toddler.

So yeah, coddling. Lots of it.

Hyrule is also a fan of small things, trinkets. Natural or shiny... Precious or useless... In his eyes all are treasures.

Treasures you'll find your bags and pockets full of.

He is absolutely a rock, cristal guy.

Imagine, you're just walking to another village, and suddenly Hyrule stops walking for a few moments, just to speed walk towards you again just a bit later, cleaning something he is holding in his hands with the help of his sleeve.

Then he hands you a small, clear rock, grinning.

Better get used to this, it's probably gonna happen at least once every day.

So yeah, love language is gift giving and acts of service.

I feel like he's very awkward with words of affirmation, he didn't spend a lot of time saying or hearing those, after all. Like most of the Links.

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

What would he have made his priorities after being the king? I mean politically? If he had worked at all that is.

GREAT QUESTION it frankly drives me kind of insane that we never get any hint whatsoever about how he’s running the country while he does briefly take over from S&S through R&R. Like what are his POLICIES!! What is he DOING??

But also, realistically, he is not going to cancel wars with the Shadow Fold threat lol. Like that is only the beginning of a really long and drawn out foreign relations catastrophe. I talked about this a little bit in a different context awhile ago but he doesn’t strike me as a character with a firm end goal… ever. There’s always going to be more to do.

But like a civil war is going to fuck up the country no matter what. So I’d assume, regardless, there’s going to be a fair bit of immediate picking up the pieces economically. He doesn’t at all seem like he cares about public opinion, beyond being scary enough so people know not to fuck with him. So he’d probably have no qualms with making drastic and highly unpopular reforms lol.

We really don’t know enough about his stances but he seems to be primarily: a nationalist, an autocrat, prioritizing military strength, distinctly favoring Grisha interests, and also shdhfgfd against industrialization and technological advancement. He also favors the perceived good of the many over the interests and well being of any individual, and is very happy to make sacrifices of many, many lives to achieve fairly petty goals. He's a fantasy fascist basically.

The books somewhat superficially equate him with Russian revolutionary figures. But I don't think there's enough... actual ideology to back that up very much. And rapid industrialization and transitioning the Soviet Union from a primarily agrarian based economy was itself a key part of it? So... he's not much of a Stalin. If we're trying to sus out his policies I could see him being something of an anti Peter the Great, where instead of forced Westernization, you have an incredibly set in his ways immortal autocrat trying to drag everyone back to the values and traditions of his youth. (Which would also make narrative sense, considering Nikolai, as the Darkling-lite foil, seems to have def been based on some aspects of Peter the Great's youth and interest in innovation, if not his personality)

So for example, he seems like he'd favor isolationism. His idea of "peace" is "don't fuck with me or I'll make my monster filled interdimensional rift eat you." And we know Ravka is in intense debt! I could easily see him seizing the nobility's wealth and using it to pay off any debts owed to foreign countries. And then if anything's left over to stockpile resources towards making Ravka more self sufficient. Maybe even melt the gold and silver out of churches to that purpose.

(I forget which historical figure literally melted down church crosses dfghj but that was a thing! iirc incidentally he also stripped the silver from the currency, absolutely destroying its value...)

By RoW he seems to have embraced the entire like religious propaganda side of things. But in the trilogy proper he seems to hate the church. So resources going to it in any way will probs be diverted. And I could even see him gradually trying to repurpose the buildings for other things. They're on the tail end of a civil war, there's probs a lot of displaced people that could be put there for a start.

S&B meanwhile establishes that he has some pretty distinct opinions about how all the Grisha need to pretend to live like peasants so as not to forget their roots or whatever. I think he *would* enact really harsh regulations and reforms on court life just because he hates it so bad lol. Taxes on parties, insane sumptuary laws for everyone but his favored Grisha soldiers. He's had centuries and centuries to hate changing social norms. I think he'd go nuts if given the opportunity to dictate everything. Generally I think there would be a mix of skyrocketing taxes and reforms to an actual purpose (bolstering the economy and stripping material power from the nobility) but also just to be a petty, temperamental autocrat.

Def also criminalizing dissent and making examples of any opposition immediately. Can't have another revolution threatening his revolution. Again, here I'm annoyed by how little the world is fleshed out, because we get nothing about the nobility. Noble families with any sort of longstanding ties or known friendship with the Lantsovs would probs get executed day one. Stripped of titles and lands etc and then taking those and giving them to his own supporters. (Who are they? Good fucking question! He has one Ivan and then even he fucking dies. But realistically... he would have... supporters?)

He'd probs want to get a firmer grip on West Ravka stat, and maybe invest in some military expansion to control more ports. An issue I forever have with the Grishaverse worldbuilding is that it's just so small? There are only like five countries? Trade and foreign policy just aren't going to Look Like That or mimic a nineteenth/twentieth century vibe if there are only five fucking countries dfghjkl but whatever. Whatever.

I could also see him favoring exports over imports. Stopping all trade seems destabilizing af so I doubt he’d go there but seems likely he'd try to decrease any dependency Ravka has on other countries in favor of self sufficiency and isolationism. Maybe taxing imports so bad that it's just not worth it. Regulating the exact details of what can be imported, when, why, etc.

Speaking of the earlier impending foreign relations catastrophe. I think if he’s scary enough he might manage to avoid an all out war on all fronts? Might. Because there’s also a really good case to be made for attacking Ravka while its still weak and reeling from the civil war. But if he’s lucky, the surrounding countries will take a “wait and see” stance. But like there will be consequences eventually. Consider the Shadow Fold an in-universe fantasy nuke in the hands of a power hungry ruler who has zero qualms with any scale of loss of life or just murdering civilians for the lols. He’s proven himself to be unstable and unreasonable so even if there isn’t an immediate declaration of war there is going to be a response to that. No one’s going to be chill!! And like SoC and KoS context tells us that there is parem on the horizon, along with the Grisha super soldiers in Shu Han, the druskelle getting wayyyy more sophisticated and a general trajectory of rapid military industrialization and advancement through out the world. Those are playing pieces that would be on the board regardless, but it’s just going to get so much uglier under those circumstances. And especially with the knowledge and context that the Darkling is completely fucking unreasonable and ready to war crime anyone who looks at him funny.

I guess siding with Fjerda in S&S could hypothetically be advantageous to him here actually? Like we do not know the terms of that alliance at all, and I doubt it would hold for long. But it breaks up the framing of everyone vs Ravka. And opens things up for anyone else to respond by trying to get on his good side against their own enemies. And once again. There are only five countries lmao. So a tense balance of powers situation might be feasible, but I think it would hinge on him not looking like he’s completely insane. Possibly ironic, but the fact that he seems to have only war crimed his own damn country is likely also useful here. Other governments typically don’t care/won’t get involved to a degree of outright declaring war over that. And it leaves some room for arguing that he’s capable of some restraint. So how quickly things go to hell probably depends on whether he goes back on any alliances or makes good on/is cornered into making good on his Shadow Fold threat.

So I don't know, basically I think there's a ton you could extrapolate from his personality, actual world history, and like fascist takeover 101 sdfghj but it's also somewhat unsatisfying to speculate about because it's impossible not to constantly run into thin points in the worldbuilding. But basically I think he would probably rule with an eye for sweeping, harsh reforms, consolidating power, and chipping away at any opposition or potential adversary, with a general decided disinterest in the popularity or lack thereof of any of his policies. And I also think unless someone got him to take a deep breath and chill out for five minutes and relearn the value of diplomacy things would get. how you say. really fucking bad.

This was incredibly unorganized I hope it answered your question at all sdfghj

[sob-dylan]

I’m the passenger ending anon and I was more curious abt the last 3 minutes or so that’s all in a rosy “things are fine :)” kind of glow, it just seemed so disconnected from the rest of the movie. I LOVED bensons end scene I was eating it up Then hard cut to Things Are Ok :) Idk ! that’s why I asked bc ur no 1 passenger scholar on my dash

lol my bad, i probably should have realized that by "the ending" you meant the part that comes at the end 😅

i'll give a middling answer: it's alright. i mean, let's be honest, the passenger's strength isn't it's screenplay. there's a lot of good story in what mr. jack stanley wrote, but some of the pacing's a little bit awkward and a few things here and there don't make a ton of sense. that all kinda comes to a head in the last scene. but i don't want to throw too many stones, because i'm definitely no great writer, and i've alway found endings especially difficult. and ultimately, i do think the ending works.

even though it's a rough transition from the penultimate scene to the final scene, i appreciate that they took some time to show the positive aftereffects of randy's no good very bad day. there's a definitely a lot of information packed into that very short scene, and some of it feels cool, some of it feels weird. i'm glad that randy's standing up to his mom and going to hang out with friends. but who are these friends? did he have friends before that he just didn't mention? or did he make new ones between his kidnapping and now? his arm's still in a sling, so it feels like not that much time has passed . . . i like that he's kept in touch with ms. beard, but i hope he's doing a little more job-wise than just babysitting for her. his scene with hardy in the beginning showed us that he's in dire need of imagining a substantial future for himself. maybe he could teach! or become a librarian! i do like that they brought in ms. beard's daughter tessa, because for me the movie is all about children. it's about hurt children! and it's about how we need to do a better job of loving and helping and protecting our children! i know some people think it's pretty morbid and fucked up that randy teaches tessa the game that took her mom's eye out, but i actually think it's great that randy can accept that, yeah, it was just an accident, and he can trust himself to play this game for children without history repeating itself. and if it does, if tessa takes his eye out, then he can help her be strong and forgiving of herself like he's learned to be.

i'll admit that's it's all a little bit too tidy and saccharine. so i'm grateful that there are hints that randy's isn't totally fixed. if anything, he's got new, sexier, and possibly even worse problems. this is evidenced in three ways: he's got benson's jacket, someone was doodling a picture of two guys in a car (i've seen some people posit that randy drew the picture, but i hear that and think *jenna maroney voice* "did you draw that, randy? you might need help, because that is awful for an adult." i also think it's hilarious and sad and wonderful if randy found a way to tell tessa about him and benson and she illustrated it), and then finally we get the last shot as icing on the "oh boy this guy's gonna be fucked up forever" cake.

yes the ending is a bit clunky and perhaps even tonally out of step, but the last shot kinda made the whole movie for me. when i first saw the camera pan over to the stuffed animals and "supersoaker md50" kicked in, i SCREAMED! that was so killer! it was heart-wrenching! it was funny! and it was a good time! just like the whole movie! so yeah, the entire end scene maybe isn't all that great, but that last shot was. idk how i would have made the ending any better, so one great final shot is good enough for me.

[whiskeyswifty]

Hello, we're not mutuals, but I've been a long-time follower of yours, and I've always associated you with New York. So today, when my job told me they're sending me on a mission there next month, I immediately thought of you haha. This is my very first time visiting. I am staying over a week, but I'll be working weekdays up until like 5 PM. If you have time, could you please recommend me some must do/see things in your opinion? Thank you 💕

this is so incredibly sweet and lovely!! taylor swift move over I'M NEW YORK CITY NOW BITCH!! kiddingggggg but i'm still so warmed by you saying that. I'd be happy to be your unofficial tour guide of sorts, and i'll give you a mix of places that you should definitely see since you haven't been before and some fun offbeat places that might not be first on tourism lists but i particularly love. You can peruse the list and pick and choose as you wish! No pressure to do anything of course and i won't be offended if things don't seem interesting to you. Also this is in no particular order, just how they popped into my brain haha.

Grand Central Station - one of my absolute favorite places in the city. It's a architectural marvel from a bygone era (literally we don't build them like this anymore) and is actually as stunning as in pictures! The teal vaulted ceiling painted and lit up with constellations from the night sky, the original chandeliers, the Tennessee marble floors. It's also a fully working transit hub so you'll get to feel the hustle and bustle of the city. Lots to eat here too if you want a bite, like the famed Oyster bar or something quick from the food hall in the basement, which isn't much to write home about but convenient and hardly ever crowded. There's also a bar off the side of the station that used to be the office of a very wealthy financier, called The Campbell. One of the most stunning bars and lounges in the city and if you time it right, you can enjoy a drink or a bite to eat without a huge crowd!

2. The Met (aka The Metropolitan Museum of Art) - my personal favorite museum in the entire world, although i am biased and used to live a few blocks from the steps so it might just be the museum i've been to the most lol. However, it's phenomenal in it's range of pieces and in how immersive the curators try to make each exhibit. Instead of putting objects in cases, they try to display them in the context with which they were used! The Arms and Armor hall is my FAVORITE with several suits of armor on horseback parading down the middle of the whole exhibit, and flags hanging from the balconies that each represent one of the knights of the round table!! i mean how COOL is that!! Also, a must see is the temple of dendur, obviously. moved so Egypt could build a dam in the area it resided, they gave it as a gift to Kennedy for the millions he allocated to help Egypt preserve their monuments. it was accepted on behalf of his wife Jackie, who then was instrumental in *ahem* suggesting quite forcefully to the presidential successor LBJ that it be put indoors and not outdoors (obviously). go to the Met who agreed to pay for an entire addition just for it. It just so happens that the addition they built to house the temple has floor to ceiling windows that look up into the very apartment on 5th Ave that Jackie was living in at the time. Whether you find that a burst of sentimentality for her late husband or hubristic, that's up to you, it's probably a bit of both, but i love that story as it gives the temple a fun bit of context. Another highlight is the furniture collection, which sounds boring but to display them the met recreated entire ROOMS from the eras the furniture is from, including a full transplant of the living room of one of Frank Llyod Wright's most famous homes!! and you can walk IN IT. (i could go on for days, as could you wandering this museum and all of it's fantastic collections)

3. Time's Square - which is loud and dirty and crowded and horrendous BUT is still pretty magical, especially if you've never been. My advice, go late at night if you can for smaller crowds and it just looks so damn cool all lit up, even I can't deny.

4. The West Village - broad i know, but i'm a huge advocate for walking around residential areas when you visit a city. something my mom taught us as kids and it's a great way to get a feel for how people actually live and not just the Disneyland areas. also it provides a bit of a sensory and energy break on your trip as most residential areas are mellow. This is one of the more lively areas, but you'll find yourself wandering around stunning colonial town homes and adorable shops. It's a bit grimy and crowded with NYU kids in some parts, even on weeknights, but i think it adds to the charm of it. It's a lived in neighborhood! Washington Square park is a fun little central area to people watch, but honestly sitting at a cafe table anywhere is really fun just to see people walk by, ranging from 80 year old hippies who have lived there for their entire lives to 18 year old kids who look like the coolest people i've ever seen in my life. Also, you'll always find a swiftie taking a photo under the cornelia st. sign, so if you want a little piece of swiftie new york, that's an easy one to get. (there's a section that is particularly grubby and awful that is a series of blocks below west 4th under Washington square park and above Houston st, bordered on the east and west by Broadway and 6th ave respectively. It's not horrible, but it's super crowded and the less charming chunk of the area for sure. however feel free to venture down there for some trendy food and interesting shops if you're feeling up for it! a fun little store that's cool to peruse is called Chess Forum where they host chess tournaments but also sell incredibly intricate themed chess sets! don't go out of your way, but if you're around, pop in and check it out for five or so minutes)

5. Statue of Liberty (including the ferry itself) - something that should be overrated but really isn't! It's genuinely cool, even to me who's lived here for so long and to my friends who are lifelong new yorkers. It's such a monument in the truest sense of the word and honestly, bigger than you expect. It's not that you think it's going to be small, just the mere fact of seeing something you've only seen in photos, your brain will just be shocked at how big it is. No need to go up in it, imo, but do what you want! I think the last ferries leave around 5 each day so if you can make it out of work a biiiiiit early one day, and you're nearby, you can catch it! Not a must do of course, but if you find the time, it's one of those few things in life i have found that is worth it. Also, the ferry to and from there is a bonus sightseeing element as you get GREAT views of the tip of manhattan! makes for some gorgeous photos and one of the lesser known tips is manhattan as seen by a boat is one of the best views you'll get. If you can't make it to the official ferry tour, here is a pro tip: take the Staten Island Ferry. i KNOW that sounds weird, but the route to Staten Island is pretty much the same as the Statue of Liberty tour route. You won't stop at the island to get off and see the statue, BUT you'll get very close to it! Why the Staten Island Ferry? Well it runs all hours of the day and night and it's FREEEEEE. You can just hop back on the returning ferry and get double the views! You can board the ferry in Manhattan at the tippy tip on the bottom right at Whitehall terminal. The second best view of Manhattan is......

6. Brooklyn Bridge - another great monument that is open to you 24 hours a day if you cannot get out of work early enough. Another architectural marvel (which i'm super into so apologies if you don't care about buildings lol) but also a true monument! You can walk across it at any time of day and be sure to turn around half way for a spectacular view of manhattan. my advice to you, as corny as it is, do NOT turn around until you get halfway at least. the contrast of walking away from the city and turning around and seeing it up close like that is really a delight. I always make people i go with do that and they hate me until they turn around and then they're begrudgingly happy they listened. Also, truly any time of day is great, but if you happen to do it at dusk on a lovely spring day, oooooo boy it's glorious. I have dozens of stories about the bridge, as it's one of my favorite stories in the entire history of the world (again biased sorry but it's SUCH A GOOD STORY) but two anecdotes i'll tell you. 1. the man who was supposed to build the bridge was the son of the man who designed it, and he had everything ready to go but got sick and bedridden shortly after starting. So, his wife, who had been studying engineering alongside him this entire time, was taught by her husband specifically about bridge engineering as he was bedridden for ten years. Over the course of that time, she eventually took over as Chief Engineer on site and technically is the person who oversaw and instructed the construction of the bridge, her husband never really setting foot on the project site. Her name is Emily Roebling and for her work, they awarded her the privilege of being the first person to cross the bridge on opening day, leading the parade. Also, there is a street named after her on the Brooklyn side near the bridge. 2. It was the largest suspension bridge ever built at that time and people were freaked out by it, thinking it would fall. To prove to the public how sturdy it was, Emily enlisted the help of the circus star P.T. Barnum (yes that Barnum) who brought 21 elephants, including his star Jumbo, to cross the bridge!

7. Broadway rush tickets - since you sound like you're traveling alone, or at least with a small group, broadway rush tickets will be very easy for you to get! You can look up the process online, there are lots of resources. It's the only way to see something cheap these days, and even then it might not be so cheap. I'm not a huge broadway person so I can't say what is particularly good or bad, but currently Stereophonic is a hot new show that seems really interesting! It's more dramatic and play-esque than your typical dazzling brassy musical, so if you're into that, check it out!

8. Top of the Rock - most people will send you to the empire state building to see skyscraper level views. and that's good too, but here's the thing, you're IN the empire state building.... so you can't SEE it. people don't think of this and walk away from their new york visit with no photos of the damn thing because they stood on it instead. Also, it's a fenced in balcony for.... obvious reasons and much more limited in scope. Top of the Rock is not only in the very cool rockafeller center, which is fun to walk around and admire, but you can see the empire state building while up there! Also, it has northern AND southern views, all at the same time on the roof deck, with glass walls. So you get no obstructions! It's also situated a bit further north so you get a fantastic view of central park sprawling north. It's open until midnight, so after work you can get some dazzling sunset views or glittering cityscape night views.

Some food recs:

Pizza: the most controversial of all, and sooooooo particular to each person's taste. Most pizza places on Best Of lists are great, you can't go wrong. Word of advice to you though: L'Industrie is great, but the lines are insane and it's not THAT worth it. However, if you want a typical "slice" then look no further than these two:

Joe's - the most accessible since it's all over the city, but is honestly the perfect slice imo. Which means there's not much to it in terms of frills, but that's what tourists seem to not understand. it's just a damn good slice. Crust perfect, crispy and not droopy, sauce to cheese ratio is perfect, sauce has a bit of flavor but not too much. I go for the cheese cuz i'm basic but the pep is great too! Don't get anything else. Carmine's is the original shop but any of the locations are great.

Scarrs - this is my ACTUAL favorite slice, however there's only one location and it's pretty out of the way. It's on the LES, which is a fun place to wander if you don't mind a bit of grit and grime. Again, super simple, but my man mills his OWN FLOUR so he can get the right ratio. as far as i know, nobody else in new york is doing that. Dough is also fermented, so it has the perfect amount of crisp, tang, and saltiness. Also, Scarr is afro-latino which is rare in the pizza world, but a welcome wakeup call to all the italian goombahs slinging mediocre pies. As always, get the plain cheese, but the hotboi is so fucking good, don't miss it. and get the honey on top!!

Bagels: Honestly, anywhere you go will have great bagels. I've gone into the shittiest looking dump and gotten a bagel better than outside the tristate area. (Yes the water is what makes it great, it's been proven and it makes the pizza great too).

Personally, my favorite is Tompkins Square Bagels as i lived next to it for many many years. Bagel purists shut upppppp i don't wanna hear it!! They churn out bagels pretty frequently so you're likely to get a hot one! DONT get it toasted, especially if its a fresh bagel. It'll be perfect on it's own, but do what you must to enjoy it. You MUST however get an everything bagel, scallion cream cheese is optional but it's highly recommended. If they have it, the french toast bagel is wild and kind of sacrilegious, but soooooo fucking good if it's warm. get plain or if you wanna develop diabetes, birthday cream cheese if they got it.

Russ & Daughters - an absolute knockout place, both the storefront/bagel shop and the restaurant. It's incredibly stylized to evoke old school LES bagel counters of yore, but the quality is unmatched. There is usually a line, so i don't really emphasize this as a MUST GO place, as new yorkers don't wait in lines lol. But weekdays you might fare better! If you're a lox person, this is the place to get your bagel and lox. (i'm not, which is blasphemous to my jewish family, but i won't turn down one from Russ and Daughters).

Gonna list my other favs here just so you have some in other neighborhood: Baz Bagels (LES), Murray's Bagels (WV), Apollo Bagels (EV), H&H (UES), Orwashers (UES & UWS), Tal Bagels (various locations).

Other Food spots that i like that are pretty classic new york food!

Daily Provisions - get the BEC (bacon, egg, & cheese) to feel like a real new yorker. it's one of the more gourmet versions, but my god it's a good one. also, go early as you can to snag a cruller. one of the BEST doughnuts in the city.

Magnolia Bakery - GO ONLY FOR THE PUDDING. the cupcakes are mid as hell, you can feel the sugar granules in the frosting, not great. Their signature banana pudding is fantastic though, and if the seasonal one sounds good to you, grab that too! they offer very small sizes so you can try both, or a big tub if you want.

Veselka - another spot i kind of am biased about because i lived near it, but it's a CLASSIC new york haunt that doesn't exist anymore for the most part elsewhere. It's a Ukrainian diner from 50s, and has typical diner food and service, but the pierogis are the star here. Any kind, go nuts. Open 24/7 and always filled with NYU kids, but still retains that city-that-never-sleeps charm somehow.

Pastrami Queen - for.... a pastrami on rye sandwich lol if that wasn't clear. Most people will send you to Katz, which is fine! It's not what it used to be, but it is a very cool experience. The pastrami is still good, and the matzoball soup is good. Knish's are a little greasy for my taste though. Best pastrami though imo is at Pastrami Queen. one on UES and one on UWS (plus a location in the new moynihan train hall) so it's not super easy to get to, but i highly rec it.

Parm - now this is my biggest cheat rec. new yorkers will read this and go, pfffft who cares about Parm? Well, i'll tell you why. You might have heard of the famed rigatoni alla vodka from carbone, which is good! but not worth the hassle of going to carbone. You CAN get it at Parm though, which is much easier to get into, cheaper, and more relaxed. They have several locations and the rest of the menu is really solid! Meatballs are great, garlic bread is fantastic, and the italian sandwich is wonderful. They've always had the rigatoni on the menu for those that knew, but only recently has the secret got out and so they changed the name to say "carbone rigatoni alla vodka." Don't go out of your way, but for a trendy new york dish you can brag about, that's a little tip from me to you.

Peter Pan Donuts and Pastry shop - LITERALLY MY FAVORITE PLACE EVER ok it is just a 50's style donut counter, and yes it is in greenpoint which makes it almost impossible to get to. HOWEVER if you manage to make it out there, you're in for a treat. Any doughnut you get is fantastic, and the pretty green interior and counters are so delightful to sit and enjoy as you get frosting/powdered sugar all over yourself. i try not to hype this place up cuz i don't want it to be even more popular than it is with locals, but for you anon i'll let you have it.

Xi'an Famous Food - a great hand-pulled and hand ripped noodle chain that is somehow still pretty authentic despite it's many locations. Great lunch spot for while you work, which most of these recs aren't lol. If the menu is overwhelming, i rec N1 and N2, or N9 if you don't love spice.

Morgansterns Ice Cream - also something you can't really go wrong with all of the Best Of lists. but this one is my absolute fav. Their traditional flavors are all exceptionally creamy and delicious, but they always have wild flavors on deck! You can't sample them, so getting a scoop is a commitment, but for fun, pick a wild one that you think you'd like and dive in. They're great at balancing flavors and making it actually delicious, not just shocking instagram fodder, so you might surprise yourself!

Los Tacos No. 1 - another trendy place that is actually worth the hype. There might be lines here as well but they move quickly, and there are many locations! A great lunch spot to grab some quick tacos, and one of the first in the city to bring al pastor to the masses. If you're mexican or come from the southwest, you might be underwhelmed or skip it altogether. but for new york, this is a shockingly fantastic mainstream taco place, and more authentic than you'd get most places.

Other than those big things, my recommendation to anyone visiting is to wander! Everything below the 80s is pretty safe, despite what you hear. The financial district shuts down daily after about 6/7 pm so avoid that for evenings mainly because it's boring. If you see something in a store, pop in! Also this list is particularly New York Staples, but it's one of the most racially and ethnically diverse places in the world. Seriously. any kind of food you want, it's here, and it's made by someone from that exact country/community. A quick google and you'll probably find whatever you're looking for.

I hope you have an amazing trip and no pressure to do anything you don't want to, honestly! Pick the things that interest you and go with your gut. It's a bottomless city and there's no definitive list of things that make it a New York Trip. Locals will tell you one thing and ex-pats will tell you another and transplants will tell you something completely different. It has something for everyone, but not everything is for everyone, is what I like to tell people. The city is YOUR playground, so do whatever you want! Just make sure to tip your drivers and servers generously and ALWAYS walk at a steady pace and on the right side of the sidewalk. ❤️

[hearth-and-veil]

Hearth Craft: Death in the Household

This past Saturday, December 2nd, my husband and I had to put our dog to sleep. In order to not lose my mind, I'm going to ramble a bit about death in the tradition I practice. I'll go more into the spiritual concept of home later, but suffice to say home is considered a living spiritual-emotional entity comprised of the members of a household, and that we consider pets to be part of that entity.

First and foremost, in my tradition, death is not viewed as something dirty or polluting. While we obviously don't look forward to members of the household dying, we understand that death comes to everyone, so it isn't something to be feared. When someone dies, we don't rush to cleanse the house because that could chase away their spirit. Many spiritual cleansing methods are hostile to spirits of all varieties, and newly incorporeal spirits are especially susceptible.

We also don't physically clean the house until we either have confirmation that their spirit has returned, or until we have their remains back. [It's worth noting that my mom's family, where I learned this, are all cremation people. We don't bury our dead.] We do basic things, like keeping up with the dishes, but we try to leave the house as much like it was when the person died as possible. That way it's familiar to them. We also don't want to accidentally compromise something they're using as a tether. A tether is something that a small, insentient part of their spirit is tied to so that they can find their way home. My dog's tether was easy to figure out: her collars. Other people's tethers may not be immediately obvious, so we don't get rid of anything.

In my experience, after someone dies, their spirit goes away for a while. I mean, if I suddenly lost my Earthly body and got to go wherever I wanted, I would absolutely go exploring. We believe that's a large part of why people feel so exhausted when a member of the household dies - they aren't in the house to receive their offerings, so they're drawing all of their energy from household members. Because of that, it is super important that household members take care of themselves! You need to eat, to rest, to stay hydrated; not just for yourself, but for the loved one who has passed. Your community, if you have one, will bring you food for this very reason.

Some household members return really quickly, and that's especially true for pets. My dog probably doesn't know what the Grand Canyon is, so she doesn't much care about going to see it. She does, however, know exactly what her bed is, and she cares a whole lot about seeing it. My dog returned the very night of her passing - my husband and I both heard the distinctive jingle of her collar tags the next morning while we were waking up. (Her physical collars were on the other side of the house, sitting on a table, with nothing to move them.)

When someone's spirit returns, you need to be ready for them. We left my dog's food and water bowls filled. Her kennel door is open, her bedding is still inside. We left her spot on the couch clear so that she can sit on it. For a human, you may want to put out their favorite book so that they can easily read it, make coffee for them in the morning, keep their slippers on the side of the bed. Anything to make sure they know they are still welcome.

In our practice, someone doesn't stop being a member of the household when they die. They transition to being more on the spiritual side of things, of course, and as time goes on they tend to become less sentient. If someone chooses to fully move on, whatever that means for them/you, then what they leave behind is fully insentient energy that is just tied into the home energy. Their conscious spirit goes on to the next stage, but they usually leave something with you.

[hikarry]

It's currently 5 am and I'm still awake

Gotta be up in about 3 hours

My nervous system is on fire

Idk about you guys but there's this very unhealthy and destructive thing I do when I'm anxious or having a very bad mental health day and that thing is repeatedly biting my tongue. Is it bleeding? My brain doesn't give a damn, just keep biting until our problems disappear - for my money, it's probably something related to my probably undiagnosed autism

When I was younger I used to bite pencils and pens and rubbery things when I was nervous, but my parents forced me to drop that habit so I gradually transitioned to bitting my tongue instead. They can't take my own tongue away, can they? Mentally ill kid logic

Does it hurt? Yes. Yes it does, but my brain doesn't allow me to stop. If I'm not actively thinking about not doing it, my brain just keeps going

Probably "tomorrow" I won't be able to talk nor eat cause of this weird ass tick. And I'll have French class, which, ya know, involves a lot of talking. Let's hope my nervous system chills the fuck out before we get to that extreme

[thedemisapphic]

GoFundMe info!!!

Hi again! So, this is where I'll go into some more detail about this gofundme and why I feel I need it. Info about my rottmnt redbubble designs at the bottom too.

Please read this over, it's important to me that y'all don't just scroll past this.

At like the beginning of this month, me and my bestie were on a phone call catching up, when she pitched the idea to me about possibly moving in together. Shit's so expensive in America, so having a roommate is more than ideal. And having one you actually know well is even better! And I feel like I can't make any more progress on my mental health until I move out and get a fresh start! So, I accepted! The catch is, her lease ends in March. And I don't have any savings rn (I was going to get a job this month anyway and slowly start saving money to move out in a year or two, I was caught off guard). But I feel like I'm ready for this. It's just going to get a lot worse before it gets better because ✨stress ✨.

I've spent the last couple weeks coming up with a budget, goals, and some planning. And the big issue I've come across is a car! I am more than capable of making the money on my own, but under these circumstances, I'm not sure. I am also just so stressed and overwhelmed right now. I was overwhelmed with things going on before this, though not nearly as bad. The stress of needing to make enough money in time for the move is just eating me alive. A couple days ago, I started crying because of a totally optional class I do not have to take, that would give me a nice certificate for me to put on my resume (I never went to college so that would make my resume look better). My grandma had to remind me I don't need to do anything I don't want to, and went to the store the next day to get me some natural stress relief pills while I go through this. Because I keep breaking down and stressing about it. I've never had a job before, and I want to do everything right. But I don't want to jeopardize my mental health. So starting part time, taking things slow.

But I can't go TOO slow or I won't meet my deadlines!!!

Not only do I need to save enough money to get a car (which is a big requirement- if I don't have my own car then I can't move out) but I also have to get that done early enough for me to save up money for when I move out. Down payment on an apartment should be like 2.5k I think, will save to 3k if I can. And I need a couple extra thousand for things we might need, like furniture or dishes or whatever. I don't think we'll need a lot, but I need to be ready. PLUS when I get my car, I'll then need to pay monthly expenses and gas. And when I move out I'll have even more monthly expenses, so I want some money in my account to make me feel safer while I adjust.

Y'all are probably gathering why I need help lol.

SO to the point, my friend has been helping keep my head on my shoulders and walking me through it since she's been living on her own for a little bit now and is able to give advice. I am super grateful to have her, and she helped me find some affordable cars + how to tell if they're worth your time or not. Nothing less than 5k for a car, clean title, check all the features, just don't leave anything unturned. My budget for a car is 7k. I found a green slug bug that I really like, and I'm hoping to get that one. But it could easily get sold, so I have some other cars in mind just in case. Some kind of automatic slug bug.

This is a very big change in my life, and this transition is a LOT for me to handle. I have some good resources on my side to help make sure I set everything up as good as I can, but my mental health is the only thing I'm really worried about because it is SUCH a small timeframe to get that kind of money. At least I think it is. Either way, I'm fucking stressed and could use help getting money for a car! I'm planning on making money, myself, just in case this doesn't work out. But it doesn't hurt to ask for help. And I don't really know many people. Plus my Nana was kind of judgy about the idea of a gofundme as if I'm above that kind of begging, like no I am not lol I'm on my way to a breakdown if I don't get something situated. So I don't want to tell my family about this gofundme. I don't have the energy to deal with their doubts rn, and nobody can give me money anyway.

So, what I'm asking you lovely people to do is share this around. Donate if you can but if not try to get the link to people who are able to. I know 7k is a lot, but that's why I think if more people know about it, then I can reach my goal that much easier. And the faster I reach it, the more likely I am to get the green slug bug I like! So please like, comment, reblog, share the link wherever you deem appropriate. Whatever you are able to do, I appreciate it.

This post will be linked to my masterpost, so if you ever want to revisit it, you can go there. If you have any questions or suggestions, you are more than welcome to ask. I've never made a gofundme before, so making sure I'm totally transparent about it all is important to me. Again, thank you so much for helping. I really hope I can reach my goal, because that kind of support would make so much of a difference for me <3 that's all, you can go about your day now

edit: ALSO I have redbubble designs that should go public sometime this month, early next month at the latest. Depends on how long it takes Redbubble to review them. Buying stuff from there supports me too!!! And sharing any promotional content I make about it!!! It's a pet collection with Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie. Leo and Raph are already done and should go up within the timeframe I specified. Mikey's is almost done, and will go up a little later than theirs. I haven't started Donnie's yet, so it will be a little bit before y'all get access to him. Follow and turn on notifications if you want to be notified when the first round of designs goes public, so you can help other people know about them and hopefully support me! :D

[tiktokitssinoclock]

Weight- Marc Spector

... ʰᵉʸ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ.

No I'm not dead, and no I really wasn't that busy until the semester started up. I fell off the writing wagon a few months ago and still kind of feel that way. Just recently I've been working on some stuff again so I hope I'll get back into the flow of things soon, but I don't want to risk burn out. I won't be posting as often as I used to, but I'll still post sporadically here and there. Hopefully that changes as inspiration comes back to me! :)

SFW// Minors and ageless blogs, DNI // You will be blocked

Summary:

You have a really important day tomorrow, but can't get to sleep for the life of you. Fortunately, Marc has the perfect suggestion.

Word Count:

1.5K

Warnings/Triggers:

None

One of the things you loved about the boys' place was the sounds of the traffic around the building. The soft 'whoosh' of cars as they passed by, the muted squeaks of tires cruising along on wet pavement when it rained, the surprisingly welcome harmony of whiny breaks and car horns when a light turned red. Steven had his complaints about it, and while you could sympathize with him, you yourself never truly minded. It worked almost like a noise machine in the flat, the London hubbub providing a constant hum in the background.

Tonight, however, as you found yourself laying quite awake, you were starting to better understand what he meant. Every time you closed your eyes, trying in vain to get some sleep, the smallest noises from the street were trying their damnedest to get you to open them again.

The hardly audible road rage between two people might as well have been an argument just outside in the hallway. The chirp of a parked car getting locked seemed to echo throughout the room. Hell, even the slamming of a car door was almost enough to make your ears pop.

You let out a quiet sigh as you continued to catch bits and pieces of the ongoing squabble, pinching your eyes shut before opening them once more in defeat. Of all the nights for the sounds of distant traffic to fail you...

Sweat was beading on your brow but you opted to ignore it, the usually inviting cotton sheets feeling much too warm. You tossed over onto your side, your nails digging into the pillow in your grasp as you tried to focus on the sound of Marc's slow, even breaths.

There wasn't much else to distract your gaze from straying, which wasn't helping, either. Like a moth to a flame, you find yourself stealing glances at the laptop perched on Steven's crammed desk. Again and again, however, you forced yourself to stare at the wall beside you. You were playing a game of cat and mouse, it felt like, and the universe was doing everything in its power to work against you.

Your usual white noise was practically blaring. You'd long since kicked the sheets off your body, the material bunched awkwardly at your feet. The sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds glinted off the laptop's reflective case, only drawing your attention towards it even more.

You found yourself staring at it again before you could help yourself, eyes squinting in annoyance as you chewed the inside of your cheek.

A few more minutes wouldn't hurt.

As you slowly began to sit up, knuckling the sleep out of your eyes, your mind was already racing with things to do.

I haven't got the numbers from quarter two completely memorized yet, and it wouldn't look good if I have to keep referencing that slide during the meeting. And honestly, I don't know what I was thinking adding all those slide transitions. I'll have to edit them out. Maybe I'll pack a quick lunch for myself, too, that way I can just eat at my desk instead of having to pop over to the cafeteria. Yeah, that'll give me more time to finalize everything.

Your legs swung over the side of the bed as you lazily rolled your shoulders, a few satisfying 'pop's greeting you.

I could probably iron out my outfit, as well. I'll never hear the end of it from Jen if there's a wrinkle in my top when I'm presenting. God forbid clothing does what clothes are known to do-

Before you had the opportunity to stand up, however, you felt the weight of the mattress suddenly shift. A pair of arms wrapped around your waist, lips warm with sleep meeting the back of your neck.

"Where're you going?" Marc mumbled against your skin, his voice sleep logged.

You refrained from leaning back into his touch, fingers lightly circling around Marc's wrists.

"Bathroom," you offered, shooting him a reassuring smile over your shoulder.

When he was barely awake, Marc seemed much... softer than usual. His hair was lightly tussled, bits and piecing sticking out in various directions. The usual bags under his eyes didn't seem so pronounced, the gleam in his gaze ever present. You could stare at him for hours, it felt like. The only things tarnishing the view, however, were how his eyebrows began pulling together and the way his lips were pressed in a thin line. Despite just waking up, he was onto what you were up to in an instance.

"I'll only be up a few minutes."

"No you won't."

You could only look at him for a moment before finally speaking again.

"Don't be silly," you said, gently pulling yourself out of his grasp.

"Honestly Marc, I'll be back. You need the sleep and- hey!"

Marc ignored your protests, pulling you in until your back was pressed against his chest and he could lazily throw his leg over both of yours. His cheek pressed itself against the back of your shoulder, each of his soft exhales fanning across your neck. You ignored the goosebumps his breath left in its wake, the frown on your face deepening.

"Marc."

"Hmm?"

"Please let me go."

"So you can agonize over your keyboard until the sun comes up? Why would I do that?"

"Because I'm stressing out- and rightfully so. There are so many ways I could be productive right now and instead I'm just... I'm laying here."

You sucked in a deep breath.

"I'm not getting to sleep at this rate. I might as well make something of my time."

"That's a horrible idea," Marc replied bluntly, his voice still tired.

"How so?"

"Because-"

Marc interrupted himself with a groan as he gave a stretch, nonchalantly readjusting his position.

"You're gonna tell yourself 'Oh, I'll just review this and I'll be done', right? Then that'll turn into 'I'll rearrange some things real quick' or 'I should make a better version of this table' or whatever else you think up."

You couldn't see his face, but you could practically feel one of his eyebrows arch.

"Am I wrong?"

Too stubborn to confirm or deny his train of thought, even though he was very much correct, you only locked your jaw and sat in continued silence. This hardly phased Marc, however, so he continued.

"You'll just keep changing and adding, changing and adding, until you've got an entirely new presentation you're unfamiliar with. Then by the time you have to present it, you'll get overwhelmed and trip up because its nothing like what you practiced with. You'll be tired, too, which doesn't help. That's what happened last time, from my understanding."

You leaned further into Marc's chest, appreciating the feel of his skin against your own, and let out a heavy sigh.

"Things have to go perfectly to make up for that. I want to prove to them that I can do better."

Another kiss pressed itself against your skin.

"And you will, if you get some rest."

"I... I just can't. I'm all wired up right now and I don't know if I'll be able to get any sleep."

Marc was silent for a beat, only giving you a low 'hmm' in response. Several minutes had passed and you almost thought he had drifted off before he was speaking again.

"What if I laid on you?"

You rolled your eyes with a scoff, earning a chuckle from the man.

"No, not like that. What if I literally laid on you?"

You frowned, turning in your boyfriend's grasp to better face him. his tired eyes and a small smile greeted you.

"I don't see how that would help."

"It would be kind of like using my body as a weighted blanket. I think you mentioned having one in your apartment, right?"

You considered it for a moment, silently appreciating the way his thumb drew small circles on your hip. It was true- you did have a weighted blanket you often made use of back in your flat. And you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't regret bringing it with you...

"You can say no if you want. It's just a suggestion."

"I know."

You toyed with your bottom lip, pondering the idea. What did you have to loose in trying?

"Let's give it a go, then."

"Fine by me."

Marc briefly released his hold on you only so he could roll himself on top of you, resting his head in the crook of your neck before he let his arms lazily circle you once again. You hummed contently at the shift in pressure Marc's weight provided, an instantaneous calm buzzing through your limbs. After several quiet moments of laying together like that, both your rapid heartbeat and breathing finally slowing, he groggily spoke.

"Better?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Good."

Just a few minutes later and the two of you had peacefully drifted off, the noise from the busy streets below falling on blissfully deaf ears.

[chipped-chimera]

WIP WEDNESDAY - 12/07/23

AND IT'S ACTUALLY ON A WEDNESDAY! Thanks @theviridianbunny for the tag <3 I regret to inform you ... it's more hair again @.@ (this one is actually different, I swear)

More under the cut, as usual~

Soooo if you've been following me you probably know I've done a few things since my last WIP Wednesday, namely more tattoo stuff, and more recently ... more hair stuff.

After a LOT of agonising over it I finally consider the neck 'done' ... or done enough (vaguely ... thinking about doing something more in the transition between the tattoo and the jaw but I probably should stop honestly or I'll never stop). This means I probably have enough done to get away with taking screenshots while I work on the rest of it. Been pondering drawing up an actual plan for the rest beyond what I've been doing so far - mostly winging it and smashing things together. Might get stuff done faster, who knows.

Anyway I am back on my hair shit, yet again that's going just about ... as well as you'd expect ...

Okay okay, I'll be honest, this has been fixed but I gotta say after spending a whole 12 hrs staring at lines of code, changing entries and having to redo them several times because I'd fucked up some file name or changed my mind or found out 'no that is not where you should be putting that folder you absolute dingus' and this was the best I could do was kind of hilarious. 😂

The important part was I'd gotten it IN, which was a process and a half, considering THIS time I'm using a custom made 2048px hair texture (alpha is 4k) and a higher poly mesh - which means yeah, this is the same hair rebuilt from scratch.

After some additional fiddling ...

... and a very unamused Ven (I'm sorry hun) ...

I got it in. All of it. No missing textures, no hair cards in the hair cap slot. The physics look janky but it's somewhat intentional - this is a minimal effort rigging job based on the alt rig, the priority was to get this hair texture IN so I could see how it looked in game and how everything sat before I dug myself further into a sunk cost fallacy over this second version of the hair.

And I'm actually pretty happy with it? There is some curl distortion yeah but it's not as bad as it was last time - and considering I'd rigged that one PROPERLY is saying something. Higher poly + textures are making a big difference here. It's pretty obvious in the comparison -

Also yes I am aware this one is WAY too shiny, but that one is a considerably easy fix now I know how Vertex Paint actually affects this value. I was a bit too generous on the highlight gradient so I've already repainted what I have so far, using side-by-side references with existing game meshes to try and get it 'equal' but it's likely gonna be a lot of back and forth calibrating with that one.

Excessive shiny-ness aside I'm actually REALLY happy with how the side curl is sitting nice and neat in her jacket collar this time! Also man ... doesn't that look silky ... (ok maybe some shine is good lmao)

I guess that's kind of it on the mod front. I've got other projects in a very initial stage (it's fanfic. Ofc it's fanfic) but work on both the tattoo bodysuit + hair is eating up a lot of my daily spoon allowance so that one will happen when it happens I guess (and probably when at minimum, this goddamn hair is done).

Oh and this hair is using UUH4V. I GOT IT TO WORK. Which means I'll be able to use multiple rigs which will hopefully prevent these carefully crafted curls from getting minced beyond recognition, fingers crossed.

Anyways until next time!

(Uh, I tag anyone who read all of this. Yes you. sorry I don't know many people yet and I'm shyyy)

p.s. yes hair tutorial. soon. In the case you are similarly frustrated and desperate as I was and working on hair please note I AM VERY OPEN TO TELLING YOU ALL THE INFO just ask me. Cause tutorial might take time unfortunately. But it's in the works.

[rjalker]

February 12th 2023: don't donate until this part is removed! someone stole my fucking wallet.

I'm making this my pinned post because I am tired of suffering.

Here's the link to my actual About post. Read it if you're going to follow me, it has my DNI as well as tags I use for things so you can blacklist them if you want/need to.

====

Hi I'm fucking too disabled to work but have to get a fucking lawyer to get fucking disability SSI from the stupid fucking government because it's literally designed to make people give up before they get their gods damned money.

I literally don't even eat even a single meal each day.

I'm also trans and would like to fucking medically transition someday but at this point I've just fucking give up that hope because I will literally never be able to afford it unless capitalism gets smashed tomorrow. in which case none of this matters, but that's not going to happen because that's not how revolution works so fucking anyways

also we're out of ibuprophen and I have fucking menstrual cramps right and yeah I should probably get fucking tested for endomitroiosis or whatever the fuck it's called but you know what else I don't have? Health insurance. Because I'm too disabled to work, and even if I could work literlaly no one will give me a full time job that wouldn't literaly just end up killing me.

====

Here's the gofundme link.

My paypal, venmo, and cashapp are all "Rjalker".

Here's the link to my redbubble store if you'd rather buy something.

You can also tip me through tumblr.

====

I have the Redbubble prices set so that when you buy a product I actually get a decent cut instead of $2 max. If you buy a pin, for example, I get $9.

My paypal icon is the same flower design as my tumblr icon. I don't think cashapp and venmo have icons but if they do I'll make sure they're the same too.

Check out and request more pronoun pins on my sideblog @custom-pronoun-pins

This post is being made November 30th 2022 but unless they suddenly invent No Longer Disabled pills it's just not going to have a fucking "this is no longer relevant" date because this shit isn't going to get better.

Here's what your money will be going towards if you donate:

rent, $500 a month for my half

phone bill, $35 a month

water bill, around $35 a month

internet bill , $45 a month

cat food, cat litter, and vet visits

groceries

clothes

fixing the washer or just buying a new one

fixing the dryer or just buying a new one

all the fantasy and scifi books I'm going to write that I will literally be giving away for free because if it's not clear enough yet I fucking hate capitalism. You will be able to download the books for free endlessly and the only time you'll have to pay money is for the cost of the materials to make the physical book.

we literally have not had a functional washer or dryer for the last like five fucking years in a row. All our clothes have to be washed in the fucking tub and then hung up in front of a fan to dry, or put in the fucking pop-up air dryer we found that takes for fucking ever and can't hold more than a few things before it stops working almost entirely.

I'm making this my pinned post because I'm tired of suffering. I'll fucking put the other one back when capitalism ends or I get the fucking disability SSI I literally would have been getting from birth except for the fucking idiot in the government who decided to fucking remove us from the fucking disability list when we turned eighteen when they took us off the fucking survivor's benefits of our fucking dad dying.

No I am not fucking joking. My twin and I were literally born four months early. We were literally guaranteed disability SSI from the moment we were born because of all the shit that went wrong and the fact that both of us were blatantly fucking autistic and had dyslexia and all this other shit.

And some fucking government worker fucked up when we turned eighteen and not only took us off the fucking survivor's benefits SSI, which overrode the disability SSI, but also fucking took us off the list for the disabled SSI.

Literally assigned abled at eighteen.

And I still haven't even fucking been diagnosed with anything for my physical disability because again! No health insurance! Because I can't work! Because I'm disabled! And since I can't work I can't get my disability diagnosed! Which means I can't get accommodations! It's literally a fucking endless cycle that will only stop if I or capitalism die!!!

======

Update 12/11/22: The water bill for November has been paid! Thank you!

[mortallyclearwonderland]

''I'm a star'' - Wish

This is a part to my previous post. You don't have to watch the previous and the upcoming post to understand this one. I'm making a post about each song from the movie Wish and going into detail as to why I think they're ''not good'' to say the least. I'm not saying that singer or the music is terrible. I'm focusing on everything wrong with the lyrics. If you're able to enjoy a song because it sounds nice that's fine. But because Wish is a musical the purpose of a song is to help tell the story. Of the lyrics are confusing and contradicting the plot will suffer.

1. Valentino is contradicting himself. One moment he sings that he knew the entire time and joins in explaining that we're all stars but there are moments when he's as confused as Asha.

2. A butt joke + Lion King reference.

3. Those are North American/USA native animals and with how small the island is I'm not sure it would be able to house so many animals. It's a callback to how in Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs animators used animals they knew, like racoons. Even tho they shouldn't be in Europe, especially when Americas haven't been discovered yet.

4. They want to superficially be ''like the movies from the past'' but it actually shows how out of touch those filmmakers are that they don't know what made those classic movies special. Animals who fallowed Snow White, Cinderella and Aurora were their friends because they were so kind. Are those animals Asha's friends or just random animals that decided to sing exposition at her?

5. I also hate ''Get that through your system!'' ''Solar!''. It doesn't work! It's a ''solar system'' not ''system solar''! He should have interrupted earlier. Yet again, modern talk and trying to sound cool. How do those animals know so much about space and have modern scientific lingo for it?

6. ''And If you just see the mushrooms than you'll understand'' What does that mean? That we need to look to nature for answers? Is Asha high? Those mushrooms are creepy!

7. ''We eat the leaves and they eat the Sun'' (While showing the Moon because the song is at night. I guess the Moon is reflecting Sun's light but it's still contrived.) It's too confusing for small children and too simplistic for adults (or rather anyone who is knowledgeable about space and biology). Mice aren't little pure vegetarians. ''They eat the Sun'' because photosynthesis. I get what the song is trying to say but it's so clunky.

8. Just awkward things that are supposed to be funny. A bear with a gay lisp going ''YeaS''. That one stupid/high dear the goes ''You're a star.'' I understand using different voices for differentiate characters to show their characters and emotions but it doesn't work because it's the first time we see those characters, so it comes out of nowhere. Compare it to how different soldiers sang in ''I'll make a man out of you''.

9. ''If I'm explaining it poorly, I'll let Star do it for me'' again it's like ''It's unlikely that you'll be unhappy''. What's with the lack of confidence in their writing!?! It's as if the writers know this song doesn't explain anything.

10. Also, in a good song ''I'll let Star do it for me'' would be a transition into the Star singing but because Star is mute and can only use sound effects she doesn't sing. What's the point? Star doesn't explain anything!

I have a theory. A FILM THEORY!

For those who don't know, in an early concept art, Star was supposed to be a boy. But not any average boy able to talk. He was supposed to be shapeshifting spirit and a young version of Ash's grandfather. They supposedly changed him from a boy into a star from Mario because he resembled genie too much.

That explains the weirdness of the song. It was probably supposed to be him shapeshifting, making voices and that's why the animals know so much about space. It was supposed to be him singing. And after ''Let the Star do it for me'' he would star singing.

But I think that change goes deeper than that. He so clearly was changed from a human to a literal star so it can be another cute marketable thing besides Valentino. They can't say it outright so they make excuses. They could've made him mute, use sound effects and body language.

I think they also changed star from a boy into a cute sidekick, so people wouldn't think it's a romance movie because . . . sexism. I understand not all stories need a romance plot or subplot but it has been over 10 years since the last romance in Frozen and even longer since a good romance in Tangled.

One other reason I think they changed star from Asha's grandpa spirit into a cute sidekick because it was supposed to be a twist. And Disney learning the wrong lesson decided that ''twists are bad''. Completely omitting that the bad writing is the problem.

Also, we know internet. If the trailer dropped showing some cute and emotional moments between Asha and Star (her young grandfather) without reviling they're actually related because that would spoil the twist, people would start shipping them. And then the twist would come out. That would be awkward to say the least.

Special thanks to toaverse for discussing Wish with me.

[fazafras-pizza]

Semi Long (but not super serious) Update Post

((OP: Hi! Sorry for the sporadic posting. I know May was kind of light on content -- I think I've mentioned it before, but I have a comic outside of this that I work on and was trying to dedicate myself to it for the entirety of May and it's got a bit to it (I only got a page and a half done lol, but that's still some! So I'll take it.) Plus I've obviously got other life stuff, but that's my main art focus that would eat up my time.

I would've probably had another post today since I was feeling artsy (it's all I did this afternoon tbh), but I kind of ran out of asks again and couldn't think of anymore mini comics besides the one that's going to transition us to the next Night Shift that I haven't scripted out. (It's so annoying having so much motivation but no creativity 😅)

But the good news from that I guess is that, if you were ever worried about if your ask would get buried if you sent it in, don't be! I've answered nearly every single one that's come in since we came back last August (btw: oh my gosh it's nearly been a year since we've been back that's wild), so I will definitely get to it, like, immediately lol. Y'all send in such good and fun asks and I love making responses for them, you guys genuinely make this such a good time and I appreciate you so much, I can't express that enough. I wouldn't still be doing this if it wasn't for you guys and it makes me so excited to show you what else I've got planned for the blog because ohhhh buddy :))))))

(Like, there is no joke a completed story start to finish planned for this blog and all it's characters. That's how much I love it and everything for it.)

BUT! On another totally different topic -- I wanna talk about accessibility stuff! This pops up in my mind every once in a while and I wanted to posit it here:

Obviously this blog operates with a lot of images containing text and I know a lot of people find it helpful to have image descriptions as part of their experience here on Tumblr. I think the way I would do it is probably going back through and updating all the alt image description things where I can, but I know some posts are so old (since I started this blog in 2017) that that might not be possible. With how there's often continuing text dialogue under those images, do you think that written out image descriptions would interrupt that? And if so, should I post the image descriptions under the text dialogue?

This might be something I have to contemplate for a while, but I think moving forward I'll just start including it in the images because I don't think it'd be too difficult, it's just something I know I'm overlooking.

Likewise, should I make a tab on the blog that has a summary of the "plot" of the blog? That way new followers can catch up without it seeming daunting and old followers can get a refresher if they need to.

Let me know your thoughts and if there's anything else I could do to make it more accessible that I might have not considered! Again, thank you all for following this silly little blog and making it such a joy to run, it's been wonderful, and I'm looking forward to running it for so much longer! 🥰))

[blot-squisher]

( PSSSST. Here's a challenge....SFW with Maurice. :P)

🔥Challenge accepted🔥

SFW Alphabet Ask Meme for Surviving the Game Maurice the Horse

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) By not biting you... All jokes aside, Maurice usually shows his love by nibbling on peoples hair and ears, or gently butting his head into them to get their attention.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) Other than Kenneth who raised him from a foal, Maurice doesn't like many people. If you want to get on his good side, try giving him some sweet snacks or dark beer.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) If he's laying down, he may allow you to lay against his side or neck.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Maurice is a horse and so he neither cooks nor cleans. He will however clean out the fridge and pantry if you let him in the house for some reason. I guess you could say he... eats like a horse... I'll see myself out

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) Have you ever been kicked in the head by a horse?

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) Maurice did sire a few foals of his own in his younger years before the Entity took him, but he's a free spirit and won't be tied down with a single mare.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Maurice will bite, kick, and stop you as soon as he looks at you if he doesn't like you. If he does like you however, he can be incredibly sweet.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) You may hug him, but he'll probably bite you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) If he could speak, he still wouldn't say it.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Maurice has nothing to be jealous of. He's the only pet in Kenneth's life, so he gets all the attention.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?) You... probably shouldn't kiss Maurice. But if you're brave enough, on the forehead above his third eye.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Unlike adults, Maurice actually seems to like children. At least, he did before the Entity took him. Now they'd probably be too scared to get near him.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) If you don't wake up in time to get him breakfast, he's going to find a way inside. Probably by kicking a door in...

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) He's old and rather likes to sleep, thank you very much.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) If Maurice could reveal the things he's seen and lived through, he would. In graphic detail. Just so he could watch the horror on your face.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Fairly easily. He likes one person and anyone else getting in his space is enough to upset him most of the time.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about their partner? Do they remember every little detail they mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Maurice sees a lot thanks to the Entity. Even with it dead and gone, he still sees. He still remembers.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in their relationship?) Seeing Kenneth for the first time in the Entity's Realm. The transition into the Realm was horrific for Maurice, and seeing the one person who'd always been good to him kept him going through it all.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect their partner? How would they like to be protected?) Maurice is used to Kenneth protecting him, but he will attack anything he sees as a threat.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) None whatsoever. For one thing, he has no idea what a calendar is. For another, he's a horse.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Maurice likes sweets almost as much as Michael. If he knows you've got a bag of marshmallows on you, he's going to knock you down until you hand them over.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) He has no concept of vanity.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without their partner?) He would be utterly lost without Kenneth. The Clown raised him and has been by his side his entire life. Sure, he tolerates Caleb and Max, but no one could replace Kenneth.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Maurice can't be fully cured or healed from his physical afflictions caused by the Entity, but can travel freely and safely in and out of the Slasher Realm.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) Maurice doesn't like people grabbing at his tail or legs. He'll allow Kenneth and Caleb to check his feet and clean his hooves, but only because he knows he'll feel better afterwards.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Maurice likes to sleep and will do so every chance he gets. Sometimes he'll pretend to be asleep after Caleb or Max hitch him to the wagon and will ignore them until they bribe him with snacks.

[fleshmechsystem]

TW: Body dysmorphia, gender dysphoria, depression, self harm, trauma dump

I think the issue I have the most is that I hyper focus on my negatives.

Right now I'm thinking I'm disgusting for eating rice lately considering my appetite has gotten... Larger as of late.

Metabolism been acting faster than usual.

But I'm afraid it's doing something to my body. I don't want to get fattened up like when I was a kid. Sure being a little chubby isn't bad, but when you have a specific body image you want in mind it just... Fucks with you.

Now that I realized I'm agender new problems basically popped out that I didn't realized I even had before.

Sometimes I don't even feel androgynous enough with my stupid face. My stupid voice and my stupid hair.

I look like a goddamn brute. I look like my dad.

It's probably one of my reasons why I get so... Distraught. Alongside my other issues like severe undiagnosed paranoia (I have signs I have it) and just tendencies of being... Not nice to myself when I get in my breaking point...

I honestly start to see a warped version of myself. Because of my many MANY issues, fears and just things I genuinely have no control over I start to just disregard my own life to have it's own meaning because I don't feel satisfied with what I am and what I have.

I don't give a fuck about the financial stuff since money means nothing to me and I've come to accept that material shit won't make me happy, well unless it's plushies then maybe capitalism can win for a bit.

But all I'm saying is that. I don't have the life I want. I don't have the body I want.

I have nothing I want.

Right now I'm in the pre transition phase shit. Even then I've started to look less masculine over the years but it's... Not enough.

It's never enough.

Right now I'm just sitting in the bathroom contemplating if I should harm myself or even have the absurd idea or carving parts of my disgusting cancerous body.

Sculpting it like a lunatic.

None of this would've happened if I wasn't fed a lot as a kid. None of this would've happened if I wasn't abused.

There are outside factors there too to be fair but. I've struggled with this for years that even with me starting to finally get back to my old sunday routine of working out.

I still don't see progress.

And with my growing appetite I worry that I will start to look disgusting again.

I have nothing against other people's bodies. I really don't. I can find someone cute no matter what. But this body?

I don't like it.

This vessel.

This vessel isn't me.

I want to escape from it.

But doing that will basically kill people that don't want to die.

And right now I don't want the others to die while I'm still sane.

If this goes on long enough I'll probably start saying shit like actively fake claiming the others because I want to just push them away. Make myself not feel bad for killing them.

It isn't nice.

I never really was a patient person.

Even now I still struggle with letting my emotions in check. I physically can't even play online games because I just... Lose myself.

I'm not a good person. I never was, but at the same time that's what I've been told.

Even with their efforts, their abused will still linger and they chose to be ignorant with how hurtful they get sometimes.

Good thing I'm not a host anymore. No one is. At any time someone else could puppet the vessel and stop me from doing something silly with my funny wrist using my funny nails.

I guess. I guess I just feel like shit.

Life was never fair so I just have a cluster of problems that makes me think that the only way I can get what I want in life is through violence. Pain. And all that shit.

Honestly I lost count of wanting to commit crimes as a way to send a message. Of course for legal reasons I haven't committed them. Although I did burn a church down in project zomboid.

This is the reason why I just can't understand the empathy people express towards someone like me, who's admittedly messed up.

I'm messed up. My past was messed up.

I just. Sent myself down in this loop of hating myself over having issues because I just can't accept people love me.

I can't understand the very idea of relationships.

Even now I have issues with that with some psychology bullshit stuff. Like I have trouble with my feelings towards people. My brain goes Person is nice towards you = Love??

Like it could be platonic love but it feels really weird.

I think this is what happens if someone doesn't use a condom. You get someone like me to be born.

Hell they weren't even prepared for it. "Dad" had to go abroad just to support us making me think he doesn't even exist to the point I didn't recognize or knew him when he came back, "mom" works and was barely home to give me the affection I needed or just having a parent and not a babysitter, not to mention someone with anger issues.

Whenever I fucked up as a kid I get yelled at. Or maybe Riley did. Memory is blurry since I can't tell who's past it really was even if Riley was the host.

Eventually the whole incident happened when the split really did happen or at least according to Riley.

Kid swore, instead of being scolded, they got a handful of salt shoved down their throat.

Even now I still remember what they did to Riley. To us.

I can't forgive someone like that even if they claim they've "changed" or "feel bad about what she did" I don't forgive someone who chooses their own entitled view of themselves and only feels guilty about themselves over us.

Maybe it's fucked up love, but I don't want that love, neither does Riley I think.

We're not free yet. But honestly my relationship with the former host is fucking weird.

I don't know. Close feeling. Maybe it's the trauma bond but. It's weird.

And I really don't want it to be romantic either so I will say it's platonic certainly.

But even then being close to someone you've never met for years is weird.

Fuck.

Why am I like this?

What fucking fear and hunger god did I angered to have issues? This sucks.

I want a refund.

-Cal

[hyunsoolgc]

-ˋˏ VIDEOGOMDORI ◡ EP. 01

in which hyunsoo replaces his gpu and puts together a keyboard and new computer chair.

The nerves eat at Hyunsoo's insides. It burns the inner walls of his stomach, causing it to grumble in protest. ( Or is he just hungry? )

The mere idea of having his own personal channel is more than enough to riddle him with anxiety. His jaw clenches at the thought. Organizing episodes in advance, figuring out the logistics and scheduling of shooting footage between his work schedule and classes. He could only assume using a hobby of his would make things far easier. The videos could easily be shot and edited at home in one go... And so, he chooses to tackle the subject of gaming with little hesitation.

There would be no better way to begin his channel than an introduction to himself and his set up. His new PC, keyboard and chair arrive just in time for him to begin filming. He flicks on the camera, steadying it to full display his desk and the two unopened boxes in front of it.

"Hello, this is actor Lee Hyunsoo," He appears in frame to wave his hand in front of his face. Of course, it is not that he is too shy to appear in front of the camera. On the contrary, he has gained confidence in it; rather, he is unsure of how much of himself he should be showing on screen. "As you can see... there's a lot for me to do already. I'm going to be replacing my GPU and putting together my new keyboard and chair. I decided to make a whole day of it and... if I don't finish it by tonight, I'll do it tomorrow."

"I'll comment about my channel name first. It sounds a bit silly, right? My idea was to make it sound like a word play between video game… mashed with teddy bear..." a shy laugh cuts his words. "Which is my nickname now, I suppose? I hope it's okay." He clears his throat before he begins to ramble. The episode run time is limited to around twenty minutes and he does not want to overdo it for the first episode.

"As you can see..." He holds up the box with the graphics card, marveling at its size. As he speaks, he makes sure to edit over the definitions with text. "I managed to get a Nvidia GeForce RTX 4090 graphics card... 24GB GDDR6X memory. I'll get raytracing as well... Today, you'll watch me replace the old one. I'll have to disassemble my PC, take out the old GPU and put in the new one."

He awkwardly ends the shot, transitioning into a sped up montage of him taking apart his unplugged PC on his desk. Text with instructions on what he is doing overlays the screen, and he adds a soft bit of music to the background. The fast forward pauses and he leans into the shot a bit more, holding up the case with a gasp. "So much dust!" But the footage proceeds again to show him cleaning the inside.

While the process goes on, he suddenly realizes he should probably be talking about something. He looks up, offering a bashful grin coupled with a short chuckle.

"I got a bit engrossed," he leans on the desk, giving his hands a break. "I've always had this interest in computers, ever since I was young. Admittedly, I don't know as much about them as I wished I did. This is probably the pinnacle of my ability to impress with it... I actually..." Hyunsoo furrows his brows and adjusts his glasses as he leans forward, plucking out a strange fuzzy from the edge of the computer's fan. He lifts it to the camera with a skeptical gaze before flicking it in the trash. "I actually wanted to become a computer engineer when I was a child but nothing really ever came of that. I'm glad I became an actor, though."

Now was not the time to reminisce about his parents and their dreams for him. Acting just so happened to be the closest compromise. Had Hyunsoo had his way, he would never be in the spotlight to begin with but he believes in the matter of making do with his circumstances.

He wears a small smile as he finishes up, turning the computer on to make sure everything works. The fans whir and the lights fade from color to color ever second.

The remainder of Hyunsoo's video is rather mundane and quiet, shots of him going about the rest of his tasks spliced in with the delicate tune of a piano playing atop it. He makes sure to keep himself in frame, occasionally glancing up to make sure the camera is still filming. By the time the video ends, it is already dark and he shows the window, waking at his reflection in it before turning it towards his face.

"If you made it this far into the video, thank you. I know the subject isn't for everyone so I'm grateful for anyone who finds it interesting. This is just my first episode... so please tune in for the next one. I'll make sure it's a lot more exciting. Bye!"