#i'm certain that there are a lot of points that i'm missing here but......yeah. tired.

[lazycats-stuff]

Please make Bruce x male reader who's Ra's al Ghul's Brother? The reader isn't that involved with the league, like Ra's the big brother and shielded him, so he doesn't know that Bruce is batman and bruce also doesn'tknow thta reader's the brother of Ra'd, but at some point in their relationship the reader introduces him and the two only stay civil for the reader.

This is a recipe for disaster... But in every great way possible.

Summary: Bruce and Ra's are connected through (Y/N).

Warnings: Ra's being a good brother, minor cursing, Bruce and Ra's become frenemies lol

Ra's is a well known assassin in those circles. He is a formidable opponent for anyone who goes up against him. But there is one thing that he refuses to let his enemies know. Something he would rather die than reveal. His younger brother (Y/N).

When Ra's started the League, he kept his brother away from it. (Y/N) didn't decide to question what his brother was doing, but he knew what was going on to a certain extent. He was living with Ra's and has dipped himself in the Lazarus pit to stay young.

And (Y/N) was aware that it's not normal to have an army of trained ninjas walking around the premises, but he did not question it. Or the fact that he had to dip himself in the pit every few years to keep his youth.

But there was one thing he was certain of. His older brother would protect him with everything. Thus, Ra's and (Y/N) were very close, despite the fact that (Y/N) didn't know what Ra's was doing. Therefore, (Y/N) didn't know that Bruce Wayne was Batman.

We'll get to that a bit later.

After years of living with Ra's, (Y/N) wanted to see more of the world and move. Ra's nearly got a stroke when (Y/N) said that he wanted to move, but he knew that his brother wouldn't want to stay here forever. He helped (Y/N) move to... Well, (Y/N) has decided to move to Gotham City.

Ra's has warned (Y/N) that Gotham City is a city full of crime, nasty people and just overrun with criminals. (Y/N) has said that he would be fine, since Ra's taught him how to defend himself. Ra's' was still beyond nervous, but refused to show it.

Another problem was Batman. If Bruce found out who (Y/N) was, he could use (Y/N) as a pawn for his attack against Ra's and Ra's fought too hard to keep his brother safe. But he relented, knowing that he couldn't jail his brother forever.

Ra's relented and allowed (Y/N) to move to Gotham. He has decided to help his younger brother get settled in. He bought (Y/N) his place since (Y/N) has found a job in Gotham and normally it would have taken a while to get settled in, especially in a financial situation.

And Ra's is anything but rich so he helped his brother. And may or may not have decided to put a secret bodyguard to keep his brother safe. A guard that will just blend in with Gotham people and just stay off of (Y/N)'s radar.

And Bruce's radar too.

And so Ra's and (Y/N) came to Gotham city, Ra's helping (Y/N) to move his things and make the apartment a little bit more warmer and make a more home feeling.

" Tell me brother, are you sure you don't want to go back home? " Ra's asked as he put a box down in the kitchen.

" I'm sure Ra's. I really thought this out. I thought about it thoroughly." (Y/N) said as he put a box down and plopped down on the couch, tired from the move. He sighed and just plopped down on the couch face first this time.

" I will miss you. We have been through a lot together over the years. " Ra's said as he sat down the couch, smiling at his brother. " I guess I should have known you would want to spread your wings a bit and search the world so to speak. "

" Yeah... And Gotham sounds fun actually. "

Ra's scoffed and chuckled at the same time. " How is it fun? It's ridden with crime and filth. "

" But it's fun when you never know when you'll get mugged or not. " (Y/N) said into the warm black couch.

Ra's laughed and patted his head playfully. " Really? Are you nuts? "

" Nuts? I'm just looking for some new opportunities. " (Y/N) said as he turned on his back, looking back at his brother.

" You are really insane. " Ra's said chuckling, leaning back against the couch.

" Maybe... But I really craved change. " (Y/N) said as he put his head on Ra's lap and sighed. " You are still my older brother and I love you... I just want you to know that. "

Ra's smiled at that. He knew that very well. After all they have been through through the years, they have created an amazing bond and Ra's has swore to protect his little brother for as long as he was alive. And that was something that he has intended to do it for as long as he can.

After all, he is a man of his word.

" How about we order something to eat? And get some wine? You know I live for red wine. " (Y/N) said as he got more comfortable.

" Sure, why not? " Ra's said quietly petting (Y/N)'s hair. It was soft to the touch, the result of the years using the Lazarus pit to keep himself younger and healthier.

" Some Italian food? Or Chinese? Or something else entirely? " (Y/N) asked Ra's, wondering what they could eat.

" Well, before we order, I want to let you know something. A few rules to keep me happy. " Ra's said and (Y/N) sighed quietly, shifting his head in Ra's lap to look at him with more attention, to show him that he was listening intently.

" I'll visit at least once a month, just to make sure you are alive. Secondly, I'll text you every morning and you should respond, just so I can know you are alive. Other than that, I have no problem with you doing anything else. "

" Even dating? " (Y/N) said chuckling and Ra's sighed, shaking his head with an amused smile.

" Yes, even dating. And if something happens, call me. I'll be here as soon as possible. " Ra's said softly and (Y/N) nodded. He always knew that. He knew that Ra's would always protect him.

" I know you would... Thank you brother. " (Y/N) said and Ra's patted his cheek.

" Always my brother, always. "

And that was a little over a year ago. Ra's and (Y/N) were in constant contact and the two brothers were now in (Y/N)'s apartment, sipping some red wine that Ra's has brought during his last visit.

" Anything new my brother? " Ra's asked as he swirled the wine in his wine glass.

" I'm dating. "

Ra's raised his brow and turned to look at his brother instead of wine. " Really? "

" Yes. We have been going out for about 6 months. " (Y/N) answered as he sipped his wine.

" Oh? Is it a he or a she? "

" It's a he. If you can stay a day longer, you can meet him tomorrow. " (Y/N) said and turned on the TV, knowing that the news are going to be on soon.

" I do want to meet the man who stole my brother's heart. " Ra's mumbled, sipping his wine slowly, happy that his brother was dating and he seemed happy.

" I'll tell him to drop by here. " (Y/N) said as he quickly texted Bruce to come by tomorrow at this time.

" Is he treating you well? " Ra's asked, putting his wine glass down on the coffee table.

" He spoils me rotten. " (Y/N) answered with a soft smile and Ra's nodded. Good, as he should.

" And you treat him well too? " Ra's asked as he tilted his head.

" Of course I do. " (Y/N) said rolling his eyes, amused by his brother's questions.

" Just asking, want to make sure you are happy. " Ra's justified himself.

(Y/N) huffed and crossed his arms, playfully turning away from Ra's who laughed.

" Oh please, I know you don't mind me asking those questions. " Ra's said as turned his brother around to face him.

(Y/N) huffed at that, rolling his eyes.

" Oh I know you don't. "

Tomorrow evening came by quickly and Ra's and (Y/N) were patiently waiting for Bruce to arrive. (Y/N) has cooked an amazing meal and put it on the table just as the doorbell rang. He wiped his hands and quickly moved to open the door. Ra's positioned himself so he could see who would enter from the hallway, while waiting.

(Y/N) opened the door, saying hello to Bruce, who in return hugged him tightly and kissed him softly. In his arms he had a bouquet of roses and a bottle of red wine.

After that, (Y/N) led Bruce to the dining room/living room and both Ra's and Bruce froze. What the fuck?

" Bruce, this is my older brother Ra's. Ra's, this is my boyfriend Bruce." (Y/N) said, introducing the men who already know each other, but not for good reasons.

Bruce handed (Y/N) the roses and the bottle of wine and shook hands with Ra's, who could have killed Bruce on sight. His younger brother, with Batman... Oh hell no.

" I'll put the bottle and the flowers away. " (Y/N) said and quickly left and the two men stared each other down.

" What are you doing with my brother? " Ra's whispered to Bruce, anger seeping into his voice.

" I didn't know he is your brother. " Bruce whispered back quickly, eyes glancing at the hall where (Y/N) went to put the flowers and the wine again. " Doesn't he know who I am? " Bruce added, still whispering.

" No, because I keep him away from the League business. "

Bruce sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. " Okay, we are staying civil for him. "

" Couldn't agree more. But hurt him, I'll kill you more times than you can count. " Ra's threatened and sat down as he heard his brother coming. Bruce followed suit and (Y/N) came back with a small smile.

Bruce and Ra's glanced at one another. They will be civil for (Y/N) and (Y/N) only.

[robinsegghead]

Danny's Daycare Part 11

[Master List]

Dragging himself off the couch (where he’d actually gotten a few hours of sleep- how’s that for ‘not normal’ Red Hood?), Danny checked his phone. He had a missed call from an unknown number two texts, one from Damian one from Tim, and a reminder that Damian was coming over sometime after noon.

Tim: No worries, Danny. I hope everything’s all right?

Danny decided to respond to that later when he heard the bedroom door open and remembered he needed to get breakfast started. Hopping up, he moved to the kitchen, feeling lighter than he had in weeks, and started searching for food.

“‘Morning.” Santi murmured, taking a seat on the stools across the island from Danny. “Wha’s t’eat?”

He’d learned early on that the boys’ Gotham accent was even thicker after waking up and had to keep himself from cooing at how adorable it was. You’re not their dad, chill.

“Looks like….” Danny pulled out the container Red Hood had left the night before and read the little note he also included. Gallo Pinto, make some eggs and toast to go with it- there’s plenty so actually eat it, Danny. -Red Hood “Something called Gallo Pinto. I just have to make some eggs.” He ignored the pointed remark about eating the food and he definitely ignored the part about toast.

Santi sighed and placed his head against the counter. 

“You okay, kid?” 

The boy nodded. “‘M tired. Miguel’sa bed hog.”

Danny laughed. “Looks like you and I have something in common.” Santi looked up, questioningly. “Older siblings who hog the bed. I bet he steals the covers too, huh?” When the boy nodded Danny chuckled again. “Yeahhh…. They always use the ‘I’m bigger’ arguement too.”

“‘F I had a younger siblin’ I’d do it to ‘em too.” Santi sighed. “Did you do it ta Dani?”

“No I… I never had the opportunity.”

Santi tilted his head. “How come?”

He hadn’t told the boys much about himself, though he never held back information it usually just didn’t come up. He wondered though… if they outright asked him about certain things, Phantom, ghosts, Jack and Maddie, would he tell them? “We didn’t grow up together really.”

“But she’s yer sister.”

“Yes, well… I… didn’t meet her until I was fifteen and she was twelve and even after that we didn’t spend much time together. She spent her teenage years traveling and I- well I didn’t.” He let out a puff of air, Santiago was clearly very interested in this topic so he continued. “Dani’s a free spirit, she’s always come and gone as she pleased and well… I couldn’t be happier that shes’s decided to stay here for a little while. Don’t tell her but I kind of missed her.” He stage whispered the last sentence as if she would overhear him.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear. His door opened and closed without so much as a knock and then a very familiar face walked around the corner. “What’s to eat? I'm starving!” She exclaimed obnoxiously.

~~~

“So this friend of yours…” Miguel trailed off, Danny waited in silence for him to finish his sentence. “So your friend….” Danny nodded. “You have friends?”

Dani cackled while Danny huffed, exasperated. “Of course I have friends!” Miguel and Santiago shared doubting looks. “Listen, I just don’t have a lot of time to hang out with people. But there’s Sam and Tucker, we’ve been friends forever, and then Valerie joined the group- oh and Wes is definitely a friend too. We became friends towards the end of high school though so we don’t keep up as much. But yeah, I have friends.”

“Dude.” Santiago breathed. “That’s like… four people.”

“I’m pretty sure every friend is canceled out by an enemy so you’re at net 0 brother.” Dani laughed. “The negatives even.”

Miguel frowned. “You have enemies?”

Danny’s rebuttal was cut off by the knocking at their door- saved by the bell, well, sort of. Metaphorically. Damian was on the other side of the door, wearing slacks and a nice sweater (why was the kid always so dressed up?) and had a bag in one hand weighed down by (theoretically) cat stuff.

“Hi Damian!” Danny greeted. “Come on in!” He’d noticed throughout the time he’d known Damian that the boy was rather proper. He was always dressed nicely, always spoke politely, his posture was perfect, and he had an air about himself… like he knew his importance. He supposed it was good that the kid had that much confidence- maybe it would rub off on Miguel a bit.

Leading Damian to the dining room (which was really just a table in the kitchen), Danny started introduction. “I know you guys met briefly at the store-”

“You’re that guy whose brother goes by dick!” Santiago laughed.

Damian quirked an eyebrow. “Yes, Richard insists on going by it which I think is absurd.”

Santiago quirked his head. “Why you talk like that, man?”

“OKAY!” Danny clapped his hands together. “Let’s not be rude to my friend who is here to do us a favor and teach you boys about owning a cat, capeesh?” The boys nodded, Santiago sheepishly, and Damian untensed slightly. “Miguel, Santi, why don’t you show Damian your apartment and he can answer any of your questions.”

The boys nodded and Damian followed them without a word. The second they were out of earshot Dani gave him a Look. 

“What?” Danny asked defensively.

“Oh my Ancients.” She breathed, her eyes widened as if she’d just realized something.

Danny looked between where Damian had disappeared and his freaking-out sister. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re a dumbass.” She stood up and stretched. “This has been fun but I’ve got some things to see to, people to visit, you know…” She trailed off.

Pursing his lips, Danny tried not to ask. He’d suspected for a while that she was hiding something from him, but he didn’t know what or why. And he didn’t want to know. She was free to keep things to herself, he didn’t need to know everything she was doing at all times. “Okay- don’t forget, tutoring with Jason starts a week from tomorrow and you might learn a thing or two from him.”

“Pffff.” She waved a hand at him dismissively. “I’m already great at English!”

He deadpanned her. “You remember who you’re made from, right?”

~~~

“Do either of you have any questions?” Damian asked, looking between the two boys who’d been listening to his instructions without interruption for the past thirty minutes. When he’d met them- or, re-met them, he’d thought they would be incapable of listening to his expertise without butting in constantly, but he’d been wrong.

Miguel and Santiago shared looks, the older one was the first to speak up. “I don’t think so. Guess we can always ask Danny if we think of anythin’ later on.” He shrugged.

Knowing that Danny was not only new to owning cats but also incredibly busy, Damian hesitantly offered his own number. “If you ever have questions that Nightingale cannot answer or is not around to answer… you may… call or text me.”

“Oh shit man, really?” Santiago blurted out.

Miguel smacked him upside the head but it seemed to be more of a brotherly affection than anything else. “Manners, man.”

“Right, uh. Sorry.” Santiago offered. “Just excited I guess, we never got a pet before.”

Damian knew the feeling. When father had first agreed to letting him get a cat he’d been ecstatic. One cat, dog, and cow later and Damian was still excited any time he rescued a new animal or was able to get another one himself. “That is understandable, I too was excited to get my first pet.” Checking his watch, he stood. He still had homework to do before patrol tonight. “I should be going, but let me know how things are going once you’ve gotten all of the necessary supplies and have fallen into a routine.”

After saying goodbye to Danny and heading out Damian couldn’t help but hope the boys would text him. He pushed the sentiment away quickly. They either would or would not message him and it did not matter either way.

~~~

  “So Danny’s like- not human, right?” And wasn’t that a crazy way to start a conversation?

“Hi Santi, what happened to hi? Hello? How are you? My name is?” Miguel joked back, not taking his eyes off the textbook in front of him.

His younger brother groaned. “Come ooooon! There’s somethin’ weird ‘bout him! He’s gotta be a meta, right?” 

Spinning his pencil, Miguel responded absentmindedly. “What makes you say that?”

“‘Member when he was having a long day last week and accidentally ripped the handle off the fridge ‘cause it wouldn’t open? Or how ‘bout when I left some stuff here the other day and came ta get it while he was at work an’ he was also here? And at dinner that night I asked ‘im how work was and he said it was good?”

Miguel hummed. “Maybe he took that day off and didn’t want us to think he was bein’ a helicopter parent.”

“AH HA!” Santiago shouted, jumping to his feet and pointing. “You called him a parent!”

The older boy groaned. “Santi- I didn’t mean- look, he’s like five years older than me! At most he’s like an older brother and even then-”

“Tell me again how ‘e chased down your kidnappers and kicked their asses? Or how safe you felt when he moved you out of the way of danger? Or how he checked on us a buncha times at night and got you anythin’ you asked for?”

Miguel groaned, completely forgetting about the textbook as his brother listed off more times Danny was ‘meta like’ or ‘dad shaped’. It wasn’t untrue- but Miguel had said he didn’t want Danny to play parent and he meant it. He’d had parents, he knew how that song and dance went, and he wasn’t looking to suffering it again. 

Danny was cool, he fed them, helped them with school stuff, took care of them, all the things a parent did, but he didn’t get on them about curfew, or eating their vegetables, or grades, or any of that bullshit parents got upset about. He was cool. And safe.

He didn’t remember a lot from his kidnapping- Danny said that was probably for the best- but he remembered a lot of loud noises at one point and how badly he wanted them to stop. And all at once they did. After that there was a voice, it was comforting, calming, and gentle hands that held him close. Danny had told him after the fact that he’d moved Miguel away from the danger and had Red Robin take him home.

Because apparently Danny wasn’t done. Miguel had no idea how many guys Danny took out, but any amount was too much. After the way Miguel had treated him, the way he’d yelled at Danny and got mad at him for just trying to help- Miguel didn’t deserve Danny’s help.

“Are you even listenin’?” Santiago asked, leaning close.

“So what if he ain’t human? Meta’s’re cool.” Miguel argued.

Santiago looked at him like he’d said something stupid. “Obviously. But Batman hates ‘em! What if he finds out ‘n kicks Danny outta Gotham!” 

Anxiety clawed at Miguel’s insides but he pushed it down in favor of quelling his brothers’. “That aint’ gonna happen dumbass. Batman don’t care ‘bout Danny bein’ a upstandin’ citizen.”

“Hey guys,” Danny knocked on the door and leaned into Miguel’s room. “Dani wants to go out for a couple of hours this afternoon, go shopping, get food, stuff like that. You guys want to come?”

The boys looked at each other, knowing why Dani was trying to get him out of the apartment. “Nah, got work to do.” Miguel answered casually. 

“Okay… Santi?” 

Miguel froze.

“‘M good, gonna stay with Mick.” Santi answered, unperturbed.

Danny shrugged and left them to their work. When Miguel was sure he was gone he whipped around to Santiago. “You let him call you Santi? Since when?”

His brother bit his bottom lip nervously. “Uh… when… he called me that when I… when you were…”

Right. That made sense. High stress moments make people form bonds or whatever. Jazz said something about that the last time she’d swung by. She was never around for long, just enough to ask the boys about themselves and make sure Danny was eating and sleeping (he wasn’t). “Do you… want ‘im to call you that?”

Up until this point, Miguel had been the only person allowed to call him that nickname.

“I mean… I kind of… like it?” Santi mumbled. “He’s just so nice and he takes care of us and- and I- I… he’s okay- okay?”

Feeling a twinge of guilt and jealousy, Miguel shrugged. “You can let anyone call you whatever you want, Santi.” The two worked in silence for a moment before Miguel’s phone buzzed. “Dani says they’ll be gone for at least three hours ‘n that we can get to work now.”

“I still can’t believe he didn’t tell us ‘bout his birthday.” Santiago huffed as he stood up and followed his brother out of their apartment and to Danny’s.

Miguel shrugged. “He don’t know ours. Maybe he don’t like it?”

They could both understand that a bit. Birthdays were a touchy subject for them, maybe that was the case for Danny?

~~~

Danny was kind of oblivious a lot of the time, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know why his younger sister had dragged him out of his apartment for a multi-hour shopping trip on his birthday after very obviously not mentioning his birthday. He tried not to think too much about what the boys might have been dragged into back home while his sister buys anything she sees and likes.

To be fair, she really did need some stuff for her apartment, she’d furnished it almost immediately after moving in, but she lacked decorations. Dani was a maximalist, she liked displaying her knick knacks from her trips around the world, covering every piece of furniture in pillows and blankets, and making the place feel overall, homey. Something Danny wasn’t as good at.

(Where the hell did she get that from? It certainly wasn’t him. His and the boy’s apartments were  true testament to his lack of decorating skills and although he’d offered the boys many times to take them shopping for decorations and whatnot it seemed they felt similarly about the subject.)

“Danny come on!” Dani sighed dramatically. “You’ve been dragging your feet all dayyyy!”

With a scoff, Danny picked up the pace. Luckily they’d already been shopping for a few hours and she had promised this was the last store. He froze when he saw the store. “I am not going in there with you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be such a boy. It’s just bras.”

“It’s not the bras- it’s shopping for bras for my sister. Not happening.” He was putting his foot down on this one. Dani shrugged and disappeared into the store for way longer than he’d expected. Finding a nearby bench to sit down on, Danny pulled out his phone.

Tim: Astronomy, huh? 

Danny: Yeah its like the only thing Im good at

Danny: After science that is

Tim: And running a daycare apparently

Danny: In my defense I didnt know Id be good at that until I did it

Tim: You’re telling me you just kind of…. Did it?

Tim: No thoughts?

Danny: Something like that

Tim: Dude. What the fuck

Danny: Okay, your turn. Hobbies?

The two had been talking on and off for the last week since Danny had reached out but they were both incredibly busy and often only sent a couple of texts a day. Dani’s impromptu shopping trip gave him a good excuse.

Tim: Skateboarding and photography

Danny: Thats so cool! I remember you said you were going skateboarding with your boyfriend?

Tim: Yeah one of them

One of them? Danny looked up for a moment, his brain rebooting to understand- what the fuck? He couldn’t even get one partner and Tim had two?! How was that fair? Shaking his head, Danny responded.

Danny: Thats cool, does the other one not skateboard?

Tim didn’t respond quickly enough before Dani came rushing out of the store with a large pink bag and a big smile. Danny put his phone away and picked up the myriad of of bags he’d been tasked with carrying throughout their shopping spree. 

“Is that everything?” He asked, trying to keep the whine out of his voice.

She rolled her eyes, carrying only the bag from the last shop they’d been to. “Yes, Danny. We can go home now Ancients, you’re so impatient!”

“I don’t know where you got your love of shopping from but it was not me!” He was just grateful they could fly home invisible and intangible and it wouldn’t take long although it would take a bit longer than if he weren’t weighed down by a dozen shopping bags.

They got to the apartment building a few minutes later, stopping in Dani’s apartment first to drop off the bags- he hadn’t bought anything after all. 

Dani set everything down then gave her brother a thoughtful look. “I wanna say hi to the boys.”

“O…kay?” Since when did she need his permission to say hi to the boys? Before he could ask she’d grabbed his hand and dragged him from her apartment to his. She made a lot of noise trying to open the door instead of phasing through which was strange but Danny was tired.

As the door opened he noted that the lights were all off- maybe the boys were in their apartment? Now that he was thinking about it- hadn’t they been at their place when he and Dani had left earlier? Why did she assume they’d bein his-

“SURPRISE!” The lights flickered on as a chorus of voices shouted at him.

Startling slightly, Danny gained his bearings. Standing in his living room were the boys, Sam, Tucker, Jazz, Valerie, and Wes, all wearing party hats and smiling widely at him. He hadn’t spent his birthday with anyone in a few years so he hadn’t expected anything like this. He probably should have.

“Happy birthday, little brother!” Jazz exclaimed, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Dude! You should have seen the look on your face!” Tucker laughed, joining in the hug Jazz had started. Sam joined too and for a moment Danny felt completely at peace.

Someone shoved through the tangle of limbs and bodies. “Yeah yeah, happy birthday Nightingale.” Valerie scoffed.

“Man you didn’t tell us you had kids!” Wes shouted from the couch.

Danny made his way into the living room and collapsed into an armchair, exhausted from the shopping. “That’s because I don’t.” He thought he caught a frown flit across Miguel’s face but he pressed on. “But they’re good kids and I’m happy to talk about them. Is there food? I’m starving?” He hoped getting the focus off of the boys would help them feel a bit more comfortable.

He wasn’t exactly unhappy that everyone was visiting- he was incredibly grateful they’d taken the time to come all this way and spend his birthday with him but he was worried. The boys had been forced to socialize with people they didn’t know without anyone they knew there to act as a buffer. Sure they’d met Jazz a few times, but they were more comfortable around Dani than they were around her.

Miguel especially didn’t like when there was a lot of attention put on him.

“Of course there is! I brought a meat platter-” Tucker started.

“And I brought a veggie platter and vegan dip.” Sam cut in.

Valerie rolled her eyes. “I ordered pizzas- meat lovers and vegan.”

“I brought drinks!” Jazz offered.

Wes looked around. “Well shit- no one told me to bring anything! Besides I just got off a double shift at the Planet and drove her right after! I haven’t even showered in two days!”

“So that’s what that smell is.” Danny smirked.

Overall, it was a success. The boys seemed to loosen up once everyone started eating and relaxing, Valerie played with the kittens (who were getting quite big at this point) while catching up with Jazz, and Wes was ranting about work.

“I mean- the guy “gets a few interviews with superman” and suddenly he’s like the go to guy! He’s literally superman! That isn’t investigative journalism! It’s an autobiography!” Wes shouts, finishing his rant by stuffing the rest of the pizza in his mouth.

Sam snorts. “Wes, come on, Clark Kent is not Superman.”

Wes gave her a Look. “This is high school all over again! I told everyone I knew who Phantom was- and I was right!” Danny gave him a pointed look before glancing at the boys. “I know who Superman is, I’m ninety-eight percent sure I know who each of the Gotham vigilantes are, I’ve got the Flashes figured out, and no one believes me!”

Miguel tilted his head. “Who’s Phantom?”

Now you’ve done it. Danny glares at his friend. “Small town hero from our hometown. No one’s seen him in years though so you couldn’t possibly know who he is.”

Looking between the curious teenager and the possibly enraged eldritch being that could tear him apart with the snap of his fingers, Wes chose life. “Yeah… you’re probably right.” 

Tucker and Sam laughed as Wes slunk to the kitchen to get more food. “Don’t worry Wes! I’m sure the Planet will recognize your brilliance soon and you can score your own interview with Clark Kent- sorry- Superman.” 

~~~

Turns out, Dani had only bought a bra so she could disguise her gift for Danny in a bag she knew he wouldn’t carry for her. He hadn’t expected gifts but upon opening them he couldn’t have been more grateful. Jazz’s gift had been a yearly pass to the planetarium and observatory in downtown Gotham. She mentioned that he was allowed to bring one free guest with him every visit.

Sam, Tucker, and Valerie had gotten him a bunch of new space themed clothes, blankets, and books- including a new book he’d been debating getting for a while.

Wes promised his gift was coming but ‘it was a bit sensitive and he’d understand when it arrived’. That only worried Danny a lot.

Dani had gotten him the newest model of the Celestron telescope. There was no way a store was just carrying one of those, she’d have to have ordered it specially. Turning it over he found his name engraved into it along with his favorite constellation. He almost cried.

(He did).

The cake was delicious, Miguel and Santiago ate more than Danny thought they should have (but he wasn’t their dad and wasn’t going to tell them to slow down) and ended up in a sugar coma for the rest of the evening. He moved them to his bed and closed the door so he and his friends wouldn’t wake them (What? He didn’t have to be their dad to take care of them like one).

“So Danny,” Wes started. He was on one side of the couch, his legs on top of Tucker and Sam’s laps who were leaning against each other. Jazz had taken his armchair from earlier with Dani sitting on the arm which left the spot next to Valerie on the loveseat. Ironic. “You didn’t tell us you had kids.” He repeated from earlier.

Sighing, Danny closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the headrest. “Like I said, they aren’t my kids. I didn’t just say that for their benefit or something.”

Everyone nodded slowly, giving each other looks, but Tucker spoke up. “Sure, but like… you house them, clothe them, feed them, tutor them, love them, protect them… That’s kind of like a dad, no?”

“Not my dad.” Danny shot back nonchalantly. 

Jazz winced. “But like a dad should be.” She added quietly.

He thought about it for a moment. “I’m only five years older than Miguel-”

“Does that really matter?” Valerie snorted.

Shooting her a look, Danny started again. “I’m only five years older than Miguel and nine years older than Santi but if I could legally adopt them and call them mine, I would. It’s not like anything would change if I did, really. I wouldn’t suddenly be overbearing or whatever, but I promised Miguel when he agreed to let me help them that I would not try to parent them. So I’m not. 

“I’m doing what I said I would. Clothing, feeding, housing them, that’s easy, loving and protecting them is something I was going to do whether or not they agreed to let me help. But I’m not going to call them my kids,” not out loud anyway. “I’m not going to… tell them they can’t have more cake than they should or give them a curfew or ground them or- I… I’m not going to parent them unless they outright ask for it.” He finished with a shrug.

The room was quiet for a moment.

“Who would’ve guessed C+ average Nightingale would be the first with a prominent career and kids?” Valerie joked, elbowing Danny in the ribs.

The room erupted in laughter as everyone started bringing up different ideas of where they thought he’d be at twenty-two (twenty-three now) and it was definitely not ‘Daycare owner in Gotham with two pseudo kids’.

Once everyone had calmed down, Danny asked the question he’d been afraid of asking all afternoon. “When do you guys head out?” It had been so nice seeing his friends again, he hadn’t realized how badly he’d missed them since moving to Gotham.

“Well- about that.” Sam chuckled. “I actually got a job under a prominent scientist I’ve been obsessed with since like- forever- so I’ll be moving to Gotham soon.”

“What? Sam that’s- that’s great!” Danny spluttered.

Tucker nodded. “Obviously I’m moving here too and I’ve got a job interview lined up with Wayne Industries.”

“You’re joking.” 

His friends grinned, shaking their heads. 

“You mean, you two are going to live in Gotham?” They nodded. “Jazz and Dani are already here, and Wes is just in Metropolis,” He turned to Valerie. “What do I have to do to get you out here?”

Raising an eyebrow, Valerie scoffed. “As if I’d move all the way to Gotham city New Jersey to be near you weirdos. I’m only friends with you because my life was boring before.”

“So you’re saying we’re exciting?” Dani chimed in.

“I’m saying there’s never a dull moment with you weirdos.”

Danny shrugged, leaning into Valerie much to her dismay. “Four out of six isn’t bad- plus Wes is within driving distance. But I’ll find a way to get you guys here. Just watch, I’ll climb the social ladder, own this city, and bribe you here with crazy good jobs.”

They all laughed. After all, that was a ridiculous notion.

Prev. Next

[writingforstraykids]

Sweet disaster

Pairing: Chanlix x femReader

Word Count: 1080

Summary: Noticing Chan's current discomfort and stress level, you decide to prepare some brownies. There's only one problem; you suck at baking.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, baking, domestic shit, cuddles, softboy!channie

A/N: Love you 💕@miuracha

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

Chan has been really stressed lately with the upcoming comeback. Felix was as well, but Chan always got a different type of stressed out as their leader. So you thought you'd surprise him with brownies. The only problem is, you're not exactly naturally talented in the kitchen like your friend Minho or know your way around the kitchen like your boyfriends. After getting Felix's recipe and all the ingredients you stood still for a moment, feeling nervous to mess this up. 

You start out slow, weighing some of the ingredients and getting closer to a mental breakdown with every gram that's too much or too little in your various bowls. 

Felix comes downstairs from his shower and frowns softly, seeing you. "And what is that supposed to be?" 

You look up, blushing a little with embarrassment. "I'm trying to surprise Channie."

"Did I miss something?" Felix asks, shocked. It isn't his birthday; their anniversary is in two months. 

"No, relax," you giggle and eye the cartoon of eggs suspiciously. "He just looked like he'd pass out soon or start crying, and at this point, I don't know what I'd prefer to let him have a break." 

"Oh," Felix nods and comes over, sitting down at the kitchen island. "And you're making brownies?" he asks after scanning all the bowls and packages on the table. 

You grab an egg and push your fingers against it. "Yeah, I'm trying." 

Felix watches you, stunned. "No, baby, that's not -" The egg breaks into two, running down your fingers and onto the table. 

It's your final straw, and tears shoot to your eyes, frustration settling in your body. "Fuck this, I'm useless at that." 

"No, no, no," Felix quickly chimes in and gets up. He gently guides you to the sink and washes your hands. "It's your first time doing this, of course, things go wrong." 

"Yeah, but I don't want him to eat some fucked cake," you pout as he dries your hands with a towel. 

Felix gently cups your face and kisses your forehead. "Let me help you, okay? We'll do it together." 

"Okay," you nod and smile as he brushes your hair back. Your boyfriend steps behind you, braiding your hair for you quickly so it won't be in the way. He guides you back to the table and orientates himself quickly in your mess. 

"Alright, so we start with this," he says, leading you through the process step by step. He shows you how to mix ingredients together, telling you why a certain order is important. 

You put it into the oven after a while and beam at him. "Thank you, Lix," you smile. 

"Anytime, baby," he smiles right back at you, eyes sparkling with joy. "Okay, now let's clean up in the meantime." 

You two are done just in time when the keys to your front door turn. Chan steps inside, the hood of his sweater on his head, and sets down his backpack tiredly. He freezes for a moment, picking up on the sweet scent floating through the apartment. "Felix?" he calls out, making his way into the apartment. "Did you make brownies?" he asks, the thought alone putting a tired smile on his face. 

"No," Felix shakes his head from his place on the sofa and looks over at you, who's getting some drinks from the kitchen. "Y/nnie did." 

"Wait, really?" he asks, surprised, and you nod shyly. "Aw baby, how did it go?" 

"Lix helped me out, obviously," you chuckle. "I still have to learn a lot." 

"You did great, baby," Felix shakes his head. Chan gives Felix a soft kiss as a greeting. Felix notices how he slightly contorts his face, bending down to meet his lips. "Once you said hi to our girl, you come right back here and let me take care of your neck and back.". 

Chan laughs and nods gently. "I'll need that," he says before making his way over to you. "Hi, baby girl," he smiles softly. 

"Hey, Channie," you smile and lower your gaze shyly. "I uhm I thought I'd make you some because you looked exhausted this morning." 

Chan's heart is about to burst hearing that, and he pulls you into a tight hug so you won't see the tears brimming in his eyes. "Thank you," he whispers, burying his face in your shoulder. 

You gently pull back the hood of his sweater and run your fingers through his untamed curls. "Lix and I are very proud of you for working so hard," you tell him, and Chan squeezes you gently. 

He's about to answer when Felix steps behind him and wraps his arm around the two of you. "We love you so much, Channie," he says, kissing his neck. 

"I love you too," Chan tells you quietly. 

"Now go and let Felix take care of you, okay?" you say, gently patting his back. You carefully take the brownies from the oven, and after letting it cool down for a bit, you cut a few pieces, knowing how much your boys loved practically burning their mouths to eat them still warm. 

Chan bites back a groan as Felix works on a very tense spot in the back of his neck and squeezes his eyes shut. He knows he needs this, but still, it hurts. His eyes flutter open as your hand slips into his, and he flashes you a tired smile. 

"Wanna try?" you ask, holding up a plate. 

"Lix, hang on for a moment," Chan says, and Felix stops, gently rubbing his arms. "You want some as well?" 

"Of course, I wanna know how our girl did," he nods eagerly, making you giggle. 

You try a bite yourself as they do and nod to yourself. This wasn't too bad. 

"This is amazing," Felix compliments you with a sweet smile. 

Chan leans forward and cups your face, kissing you lovingly. "That's exactly what I needed today." 

"I thought you might," you smile gently. You continue feeding him small bites as Felix finishes his massage, and Chan looks positively tired out. "You want to take a nap?" 

Chan nods gently. "Can you two join?" 

Felix giggles and pats his side. "Of course we can." 

MASTERLISTS | PROMPT LIST | GUIDELINES

Only a little later, you're all cuddled up with Chan in the middle. He's falling asleep soon, and you allow yourself to rest a bit as well when you notice Felix drifting off slowly. Sometimes, cuddles and a good nap are all your boys need.

Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@kai-lee08 @atinyniki @mal-lunar-28 @aaasia111 @galaxycatdrawz @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @malfoygalaxies @rebecca-johnson-28

[lovelycassy]

Ok hear me out, a Lorenzo Berkshire imagine where him and the reader are dating and she gets hurt during a girl day with pansy 😌

Hexed

Summary: Ever since you and Lorenzo started dating a week ago, you noticed a certain slytherin who always seems to be glaring at you. It only took some time before they take action against you.

Pairing: Lorenzo/Enzo x fem!reader

House: any

Blood status: pureblood

Word count: 1,588

Warning(s) : some violence, a lil cursing, a kissing scene that’s barely there, pet names (love & darling), not proofread, lmk if I missed anything!

a/n: I am so sorry anon I didn't check my ask box for a rlly long time so I didn't notice that I already had requests 😭 I hope you didn’t wait that long but here it is though. btw this is my first fic so pls bear with me if its cringy I'm trying

Also forgive me if pansy, lorenzo and Daphne are not so in character these are just how I imagine their personalities are

----------------------------------------------

It was a sunny friday afternoon and you were going to your last class of the day. You were thinking of what you were going to do the next day when you heard someone call your name from behind.

"Y/n!" they called. You turned around and saw your best friend Pansy running down the hallway.

"Yes?" You answered

Pansy caught her breath before she asked, "Do you have any plans for tomorrow afternoon?"

"not much, just going to stay in my dorm all day I guess, why?"

"I was thinking that we should have a girl's day, you know just the two of us, shopping at hogsmeade. Since our NEWTS are coming up and I know its gonna take a lot of our time, tomorrow is the perfect time for us to hang out before we have to stress about our exams. So, what do you say?" She said, with her eyes almost looking like she’s pleading for you to say yes.

You thought for a while. You didn't have anything else to do aside from sleeping and staying in your bed all day anyway. You also finished all your homework yesterday, you just need to hope that your last professor gives mercy on all of you students and lets you go without any homework.

"Okay sure, I need a break from school anyway." You finally answered.

"Great! Let's meet at the great hall at 9am, sound good?"

"Yep, see you tomorrow Pans!"

"Bye!"

----------------------------------------------

"Thank god we don't have any homework assigned today" you muttered as you entered the slytherin common room, heading to your boyfriend's dorm.

You knocked 3 times before you heard someone answer from inside;

"Who is it?“ Lorenzo shouted

"It's just me" you answered

"Oh alright, the door's open"

You entered and saw him sitting on his bed, reading a book. He already changed out of his robes and wore some comfy clothes.

He looked up from his book the second you entered the room.

"Hey darling, how's your day?" He asked

"Tiring, how's yours?" You said while taking off your robe and putting it on the coat rack

"It's alright, if you exclude the fact that seamus almost set the classroom and everyone in it on fire in potions."

"Wow, that bad?"

"Yeah, luckily snape was there. But of course he had to take points off Gryffindor because of the chaos Seamus created."

By now you had already changed into some comfortable clothes and was climbing in bed "But everyone was okay, right?"

"Of course, but enough about my day. Tell me what happened to yours?" He said, while cuddling you putting you on top of him

"Well pansy came to me a few hours ago, asking me to go on a girl's day with her tomorrow at hogsmeade. Since our exams are coming up she wants to hangout before we all get busy studying."

"And what did you answer her?"

"I said yes of course she's my best friend"

"I thought you said we're going to spend the whole day together tomorrow?" He looked down at you with a pouty face

"I said on sunday, love"

"No you definitely said Saturday"

"I'm pretty sure I said sunday"

"Fine you did"

"I promise you on sunday I'm all yours, okay? No one is going to disturb us."

"Alright fine"

Before you could say anything else he suddenly flipped both of you and he was on top of you

“Love what are you trying to do right now?”

“What I’ve wanted to do since classes ended”

Then you felt his lips on yours

----------------------------------------------

You were roughly making out for about 5 minutes now when you both heard a knock on the door.

"You lovebirds done? Its nearly dinner already so stop making out and let's go to the great hall." Theo groaned from the other side of the door.

"Okay okay we're coming" you said fixing yourself up

"Cmon lets just stay behind they won't even mind" Enzo complained

"Sorry love but as a human being I also need food plus I'm starving" you were walking to the door when you turned around and saw him on the bed with a pouting like face

"We could continue after dinner." You said with a smirk

That made him run to the great hall.

*timeskip to the next day*

You and Pansy have been shopping for almost 2 hours now. You suggested you guys eat lunch first before continuing your shopping spree

Once you guys were finished, you were both deciding the next store you were going to when you saw a certain slytherin walking towards you with her gang. The one who has been rude to you since you and Lorenzo started dating, Daphne Greengrass. Let’s pretend she didn’t like theodore and liked lor

It was no secret to the whole school that she liked him. She practically did everything to make him notice her. Yet Lorenzo still chose you, and that made her blood boil.

"What's she doing here?" You whispered to Pansy

Pansy just shrugged

"Well well well, look who we have here, its lorenzo’s little girlfriend, L/n " Daphne said with a smirk (IM INTERNALLY CRINGING RN)

“Hello Greengrass, what brings you to hogsmeade on this lovely day?”

“Oh nothing, I just heard you and parkinson over there talking about how you’re going to spend your boyfriend’s money on a shopping spree. Does enzo even know you’re spending his money?” She said as she strode a little more closer to you

You can’t start a fight, or else some professor might pass by and punish you both by taking away house points that won’t be enough to win the house cup

You took a deep breath before answering her, “actually Greengrass, the money I’m spending right now is my monthly allowance from my parents. Now if you would excuse us, we would like to get back to our shopping.”

You tried to get past her before she blocked you and pansy’s way

“Not so fast l/n, that’s not what I came here for.”

“What is it then Greengrass?” You were starting to get annoyed

By now you were standing at arm’s length from her

“I came here because I wanted to remind you something.”

Suddenly she pushed you to the ground

“What the hell are you doing!” Pansy shouted, while trying to break free from Tracey Davis, one of Daphne’s closest friends

“Telling L/n here to stay away from what’s mine” daphne said, pointing her wand at you

Right now you were terrified of what might happen

“What the hell do you mean by staying away from what’s yours-“

“I meant staying away from Lorenzo you bitch!”

“We were friends since we were babies! We were meant for each other until you came and took him away from me!” She shouted

“So right now I’m going to take revenge on what you’ve done, stupefy!”

With that you flew and landed your back on a wall, you felt yourself getting dizzy with dark spots covering your vision. You heard Pansy run to you calling your name before everything went black

----------------------------------------------

You woke up from a shine of light coming through your eyelids (does that make sense?), with a slight pounding in your head. You squinted your eyes a bit to get a better view to know where you were, it took a while before coming to a realization that you were in the hospital wing

You felt something or someone holding your hand, and you turned to see your boyfriend, Enzo, sleeping on a chair beside your bed holding your hand.

“Love, wake up,” you said, gently shaking the hand wrapped around yours.

You saw him fluttering his eyes a bit before looking at you with wide eyes.

“Oh my god you’re awake- hold on for a minute I need to get madam pomfrey.”

He rushed out of the hospital wing and returned with her not even 2 minutes later.

“Hello dear, how are you feeling?” Madam pomfrey asked with a gentle smile.

You looked at her and said, “my head hurts a bit, but may I ask what happened?”

“You must’ve forgotten because of how hard you hit your head yesterday.”

Hit your head? What happened? You thought for a while before all the events came back to your head. Daphne greengrass hexed you.

“Oh” was all you could say.

“Well dear once the pain in your head fades you are free to go anytime,” And with that madam pomfrey left.

You turned to look at your boyfriend and he looked at you with concerned eyes

“Um” he started “I heard from Blaise what Daphne has done to you, he was walking in hogsmeade when he saw Pansy trying to drag you back to the castle. I’m really sorry that-“

“It’s not your fault love” you cut him off

“No it partly is, I should’ve made it clear it Daphne that we weren’t going to work out if we ever got together. I guess I kind of led her on before I asked you out.”

“Well even if you say it is, you weren’t the one who hexed me.”

“Alright but I’m going to stay by your side all the time now, wherever you go I’m always gonna be there”

“Even during girl’s day??” you asked with a fake shocked face

“Even during girl’s day.” He said with a grin

“Noooo”

“Just kidding love, but still just in case so you won’t end up in the hospital wing again.”

----------------------------------------------

I’m not really satisfied with the ending, I might redo it once I think of a better one. But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed! :)

[kamwashere]

saw your tags and yes PLEASE do a proper fic rec list!

5 times Wade didn't believe Peter, and the one time he did by keikoHPfan [T, 1K]

Wade isn't a fool. And he knows better, whatever Spidey says. Or five times Wade didn't believe Peter, and the one time he did.

✦ kam's notes: The first ever SMDP fic I’ve ever read! I had this bookmarked in 2016 with a note saying, “I wanna scream but fam is literally right hEre so I'm just here making this weird sound in my throat this fic must be treasured for life.” Super angsty and fluffy!

The Perks of Being Smarter Than Everyone Gives You Credit For by alphasaceraptor, Orcusnox (Cat9894) [M, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 32K, WIP]

Peter Parker, your friendly neighbourhood Spider-man, is sapiosexual. You'd think, working as an intern under Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, he'd have his pick of the best brains around. But apparently not. Someone's been lying about how smart a certain mercenary actually is, and that puts Peter in a sticky situation when said mercenary starts interacting with Peter. And with trouble brewing at Stark Industries, you just know this is going to be a wild ride...

✦ kam's notes: Sadly, I think this has been abandoned  as it hasn’t been updated since 2017 but it’s still worth a read! Featuring super smart Wade and super horny about it Peter. 

Propositions by stuckybarnes [T, 8K]

“Yeah…” Deadpool drawls. “Anyway, Pretty Boy, I have a proposition for you.” This makes Peter kind of want to throw up. Propositions by Deadpool always end up with them in varying degrees of pain, and a lot of explaining to do with the Avengers. OR Wade finally convinces a very tired Peter to go to New York Comic-Con with him and enter a Deadpool and Spider-Man cosplay contest, sure they'll win. Obviously. It doesn't go exactly as expected, and Peter is not thrilled.

✦ kam's notes: Spidey and DP go to Comic-Con! Fanservice, cosplays, banter, and feelings! All that fun stuff.

Ooh, Spicy by misato [E, 2K]

“It’s me,��� he croaks, and Peter readies his web-shooter, aiming it at his mouth. He starts talking. Fast. “I’m Deadpool. Wade Wilson. I’m from another universe. In that one you’re dead and I’m more than a little bit bummed about it.” Surprisingly, that’s what gets Peter to loosen his grip. “You’re from another universe?” he sighs. “That’s so last week.”

✦ kam's notes: Hell yeah, another Peter B./Wade fic! This one is very spicy, kinda sad, but still sweet. Wade worships every version of Peter and I love that. 

baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime by ghostsoldier [E, 4K]

Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but… “And the bra?” Peter croaks.

✦ kam's notes: Wade (unknowingly) seduces Peter with lingerie (!!!) and pancakes. Spice ahead!

I Think I Missed a Step ('Cause I'm Fallin' For You) by mokuyoubi [E, 42K]

There’s a weird familiarity about the kid's tone and posture, and it’s true that Wade is pretty far from home today but he’s also certain he’d remember that baby-face if he’d seen it before. On the other hand, he has spent the better part of the past few years feeling like he’s missed a step, so this conversation isn’t exactly anything new. [[A hot guy is willingly talking to us. Go with it.]] [Don’t make an ass of yourself.] “Shaddup,” Wade grumbles, though Yellow has a point... OR Peter thinks Wade knows his secret identity, and Wade is really confused by the hot coed who keeps popping up and hanging out with him.

✦ kam's notes: I debated putting this here a lot since when I first read it, I did so without reading the tags or the notes and missed the Tom!Spidey disclaimer but please don’t be discouraged, it is still a very good fic. Peter is aged up (still feels like a weird loophole) and is a full-fledged adult. Anyways! This fic lovingly abuses the classic identity porn trope. Very good and there is a variety of MCU cameos.

what light through yonder window by hellornothing [M, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, 14K]

The figure moves quickly, but Peter’s faster. He’s still adjusting to the sudden brightness, so dark red is really the only thing he takes from this initial encounter, but it’s enough. ‘Deadpool?’ - aka the one where they get together via late night window visits

✦ kam's notes: This fic has EVERYTHING: late night talking, identity reveal, pining!Peter, TLC. I really love Wade in this; he’s so tender, funny, and charming. This is also domestic in ways I can’t explain.

finger tap pulses by twentytwosevens [T, 3K]

"The first time Peter’s timer stops he is eleven years old. It times out in the middle of the night and wakes him up like an electric shock. The blank timer stares at him from his wrist as he yells and screams for his aunt and uncle." Spideypool AU with timers where Wade keeps getting killed and making Peter's timer go blank. By the time they meet he's pretty pissed off. This was certainly a summary with words, but they were not good ones. Based off a tumblr prompt that I cannot find anymore.

✦ kam's notes: Oh, this one has a delicate amount of angst and crack. Poor Peter! Deadpool-typical suicidal ideation, be warned. 

BDE (Big Dick Emergency) by DerRumtreiber [E, 6K]

“Oh my god,” he says again. “Oh. My. Gaa-awd, Becky. Did you?” Wade is visibly vibrating. “Did you really say ‘giant penis problem’? Really? Truly?” “What did you think I meant the first time?” Peter asks through clenched teeth. “I dunno, wrong hole?” ~*~*~ Or, the one where Peter is in need of some practical advice, and Wade is always happy to share his ass knowledge.

✦ kam's notes: THEE BOTTOM!WADE FIC, imo. Peter has unsatisfying sex life due to his Big Problem/Blessing and Wade is determined (and super thrilled)  to change that. Not to be a spoiler but he definitely succeeds. 

Love of a Different Lifetime by alicat54c [T, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 15K]

In another time and place, Wade would have gone back to Weasel’s bar and met the love of his life, Vanessa. However, in this life, predicated by a squeaky skateboard wheel, he met Peter instead. ... “Yo mamma so dumb, she thought Tiger Woods was a forest in India.” Wade's arm spasmed, causing his swing to go wide, sending the ball clear out of the course and across the sidewalk. Peter carefully kept his eyes on the score sheet as his companion turned around, expression playfully murderous. He scratched a line with a short pencil. “So, that’s one point against you.” The older man’s face split into a toothy grin. “Oh, it is on, baby boy.”

✦ kam's notes: And to end this fic rec, I bring you the ultimate filmverse!Spideypool fic. It rewrites both DP1 and TASM1 and it entwines both of the film’s canon together. In this fic, Peter doesn’t have his powers yet but he does meet Wade pre-cancer. They fall in love. While Wade goes into the program, Peter becomes Spider-Man. Cue Deadpool being born, Spider-Man trying to stop him, heartaching reunion and all that. Loved this one. 

Oh, and also there are some Team Red moments!

As usual, I'll just add my own fics as well —

my heart is wild (and my bones are steel) [T, 9K]

Out of the corner of his eyes, MJ quietly takes the seat across the younger Peter, swiftly sliding into his place. He visibly relaxes, resting his forehead against hers. They belong together in a quietly intense way. Longing burns hot inside of him, like a branch caught in a forest fire. It’s strange. Even if this version of Peter has lost virtually everything, he still finds a way to be envious of him. He thinks of Wade. For some unfathomable reason he isn’t quite ready to examine yet, he misses the idiot.

No Way Home, but in Peter-Three’s perspective.

all the skeletons you hide (show me yours, i’ll show you mine) [M, 23K, WIP] [Just updated]

A wave of affection and longing almost makes him stagger on his feet. Just seeing him in that suit—looking less than impressive, scratching his butt—makes him realize just how much he missed him. “Wade,” Peter cringes at how his voice catches, “Hi.” Wade turns around, turns back, turns again and does a double take. He eyes Peter up and down and to his surprise, turns away snootily. “Sorry cutie, any other day, I would be super into this hipster nerd slash skater boi with an I you’ve got going on—devastating combo, by the way—I’m sadly not in the mood.”

Peter, fresh out of his multiversal escapades, gains a new perspective in life. One that includes a certain mouthy mercenary, perhaps?

The problem is, the mercenary doesn’t seem to remember him. Like at all. He has a sneaking suspicion it has to do with that spell thing Peter-One was talking about…

‣ Both are a part of the new york isn't new york without you series

[lanawinterscigarettes]

Worried For You (Martha Jones x reader)

Summary: the Doctor wants to go on yet another adventure without any concern for the health of either you or Martha, and you've had enough

Warnings: not really angst but there's mentions of exhaustion and alien attacks so take that as you will, the Doctor is a professional idiot (sorry I love him I promise), reader puts the Doctor in his place for being said idiot, fluffy confession

A/N: there's not nearly enough content for the Doctor's companions out there, so leave it up to me to fix it (requests for the nuwho companions are open btw! if you're unsure whether I write for someone please don't be afraid to ask <3)

Traveling with the Doctor wasn't the worst thing in the world, or the universe, for that matter. If you were asked, though, there were certainly a few things you could do without.

One of the main problems you had was just how often he seemed to get the lot of you into trouble. I mean, once or twice was one thing, but it'd been days, weeks even, since you'd last caught a break.

A dalek attack here, a cybermen invasion there, not to mention all the other random alien species that were hellbent on taking over the universe- it was all getting to be a bit too much. And that was before you had anyone else to worry about.

Usually you'd be fine with him dragging you to and fro with no reason, but you weren't thinking about yourself: you were busy worrying about Martha. Even if you were certain she'd never like you back due to her unrequited crush on the Doctor, you still hated to see her so tired and worn out.

If only he could see that just as well as you could.

"Right, so, we've already hit that galaxy twice this week, and we've been to those clumps of star systems three times in the past month-" the Doctor mindlessly rambled on as he pointed to the holographic map on the TARDIS control panel "-so I think it's safe to say we should probably try something a bit different for this upcoming weekend, yeah?"

"We should try taking a break for once," you grumbled to yourself, your arms crossed as you leaned up against a nearby wall.

"Sorry, what was that?" He questioned curiously as he turned his head in your direction.

"I said-" You went to speak but he cut you off.

"Oh, look, we haven't been there recently! Well, I haven't been there recently, I'm not sure if either of you have been there at all..."

"Doctor, they're right. Maybe we should lay off the adventures, if only for a few days," Martha suggested, and while you were grateful for her input you didn't miss just how tired she seemed when she said it.

He dismissively waved his hand at her. "Nonsense, we'll be fine! Besides-"

This time it was him who was cut off. "Maybe you'll be fine, but we won't," you snapped harshly, growing increasingly irritated with each second that passed. "You forget, we're humans. We're not Time Lords like you. We get tired quicker and wear out much more often."

The Doctor paused, freezing in place. He seemed to be processing your words, clearly not used to someone being so outspoken about putting him back in his place. "Right, yeah... maybe you should do that, then..." he muttered more to himself than you, and if you were in a better mood you might've felt sorry for hurting his feelings.

However, you knew very well there was no other way to get through to him. If you hadn't have stopped him then, he would've kept on ceaselessly with the trips until either you or Martha passed out from exhaustion.

So, instead of checking to see if he was okay, you merely scoffed and began walking down one of the many hallways of the TARDIS, hoping you could get in a quick nap before he inevitably woke you up again. When you heard quick footsteps following behind you, you were tempted to tell him just to shove off, until you heard Martha's voice. "Hey."

You stopped and turned, unable to keep the faint smile off your face that always seemed to form whenever you got to be alone with her. "Hey. What's up?"

She shook her head at your question. "Nothing, just- I was a bit worried for you. I've never seen you snap at the Doctor like that, and I wanted to check in and see if you were alright."

"Oh." You felt your face heat up a bit at her concern. "Yeah, I- I'm fine. I was worried for you, actually," you admitted awkwardly. "I know how tired you must be from all of the running around we've been doing."

"You were worried for me?" She asked in an incredulous manner. "Is that why you were so insistent on us taking a break?"

"Well... yeah." If you didn't feel awkward before, you certainly did now. "I- I didn't want anything to happen to you if we were out somewhere and you got too tired to run away. I care about you. A lot." You inwardly cringed at your choice of words, worried you might've said too much.

Much to your surprise (and delight), Martha gave you a bashful smile and said in response, "I care about you a lot, too. I just didn't realize you felt the same."

"Of course I feel the same. You're amazing, how could I not?" Perhaps you were giving a bit too much of your true feelings away, but you'd already passed the point of no return, so you might as well. "I just never said anything because I thought you fancied the Doctor."

"I did fancy the Doctor," she corrected with a slight eye roll. "But after the last couple of weeks I've had, I think it's safe to say my feelings have went away. At least enough for me to realize there's a much better catch standing right in front of me." Martha took your hands in hers and gave them a gentle squeeze.

A bright smile spread across your face at the gesture, your eyes lighting up as you realized what she meant. "So... does this mean you'd like to be my girlfriend?"

"I'd love to be your girlfriend," she enthusiastically affirmed, grinning from ear to ear. "Come on, let's go lay down somewhere. I'm exhausted."

You let out a soft laugh as you allowed her to take you by the hand and lead you down the hall to one of the bedrooms, where you spent the rest of the day napping while cuddled up close. If the Doctor needed you for anything, he was just going to have to wait. There were much more important things on your mind.

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[lunchtimebedamned1997]

Vee's Studies!

(scroll to the end for timelapse :3)

I'm like, kind of obsessed with them lmao. While I've drawn Vox quite a lot (I've been working on a Vox animation thing over the last month-ish) I hadn't done much of anything when it came to Val and Vel. I knew I'd want to do something with them all later on, but I wanted to get a good understanding of their designs, shape language, and the differences between the three of them so I can play a lot more when it comes to doing them (heh) in my own style.

So, since I was most familiar (and most obsessed with out of the three lol), I started with Vox :3

While I've been working on the animation project, it had kind of been an 'adjust-as-I-go'/'let's-bullshit-this' process, rather than doing the work of understanding why certain things looked more correct than others, so I still learned a LOT from this one study. (Plus the scene makes me wheeze and I happily took the excuse to use that moment as his study reference haha)

Obviously Val is... an asshole, to really undersell it. But this is hell, his character is interesting and his design is immaculate. I think I had the most fun with studying him tbh. Without his santa wings-coat he- *coughs* - yeah. Uh. Good design. I can actually believe that Angel fell for him at one point. Manipulative bastard - sorry tangents. ANYWAY! XD

VERY fun to draw, and a very good balance within these designs of showing off character attributes but also not taking themselves too seriously (The HATS these boys wear! *wheeze* did Velvette just give up fighting them on it? I've gotta know haha)

I missed color too much by this point to make them all match perfectly, and frankly - trying to draw canon Velvette without hue differentiation is AWFUL she has so many details and overlapping elements. If I ever have to draw Vel from 1x03 again I might cry.

Something about her 1x03 look actually makes me feel viseral irritation just by seeing it (like, even b4 I made myself draw it), but then I see her in 1x08 and I wanna draw her forever???? She's so fucking cool? So fucking cute????? The duality of man ig lmao

Anyway, the TLDR is that actually being conscious of how things are represented when drawing a character can lead to surprisingly immense insight... I feel like I not only understand so much more about how to represent their characters, but also a much firmer grasp about how the shape language in the show works.

These designs are immaculate and I had so much fun. I actually have a lot more I could say about this, but my period came today and I'm tired and this post is already massive so I'll leave things here for now! But yeah! Hopefully more Vee's in the future bc I love them!

Wishing you all well! <3

[mackeralsauce]

'kay gonna rant ab some frustrations (very opinionated) with the cuttletavio community and whatnot. don't like it? move on! more down below:

(TW for mentions of heavy topics and similar. I'm tired of people being uncreative and diluting the ship to 'toxic yaoi yay!!!'. Oh, and mentions of NSFW in passing.)

Oh my fucking god. Can we stop with the boring-ass 'Toxic Old Man Yaoi' bullshit already? It's so overplayed and uncreative.

There's gonna be a lot of people who disagree with my takes in this, and frankly, I don't care! I'm shrimply tired of seeing the same old cycle repeat in this fandom of 'cool big artist or writer ends up making something frankly disgusting with cuttletavio'. I block liberally and whatever so there's your forewarning and whatnot.

Another forewarning is that I am very much autistic and so these issues drive me to this point because I see much more potential in the ship! This is one of my special interests.

Part 1: Toxic Tropes, Abuse, and Everything Inbetween.

Every time I hear about something in this fandom, it's someone making content of Octavio and Craig that involves abuse, homewrecking, non-con, racism, fetishization, or anything else under the shit bucket! Yeah, yeah, people on the internet can have their opinions. It's not inherently bad to represent issues like that, but it's the fact that it is ALWAYS portrayed in a romanticized light! Because let me remind you, this community is for the *ship* between these two characters. Representation of such topics need to be done tastefully. Real people are harmed by shit like that, and spoiler alert! I should fucking know.

There's so much "Craig being racist haha!" jokes from certain groups. That's primarily the fault of the NA translation of Splatoon, but it's still quite irritating. There is much more to his character than just that. Really, is that the ONLY fucking joke you idiots have? Damn. Boring as hell! Not to mention we know from interviews that even nowadays he wished for peace and tries to help any Octarian he comes across... Oh, and I won't name names, but some people just straight up BUTCHER his character. Yuck.

Then there's the portrayal of Octavio. Typically, people outside of the cuttletavio community will end up portraying him as a fascist dictator (gross and wrong). We have the opposite problem here. People straight-up infantilize him, make him woobified, etc. which annoys me quite a bit. I think we forget that, y'know... HE IS A SHOGUN? A COMMANDER? Such a government is going to be militaristic. I'm not saying that he's evil, but making him out to be an innocent 'widdol guy' is just. Eugh. Not to mention this is usually done because of headcanons involving him to be trans. I love Trans Octavio headcanons! But I hate the overfeminization and overtwinkification of him. Let him be strong and trans, is that so hard?

And these topics are the small potatas. My biggest gripe is when people make their ship to be just 'toxic yaoi' and bluh bluh boring. Look, I get it, there's people who eat that slop up. Whatever floats your boat. But holy FUCK the amount of straight-up garbage and romanticization and lack of creativity I see...

Part 2: Missed Potential and Lack of Creativity.

Oh my fucking god. We have this one ship between two queer adults who grow to old age, and you guys can't even let it be healthy? Yes, I get there was war, but it doesn't mean they were fucking toxic when they were dating. Whatever your interpretation is, you don't have to make them cruel, horrible people to each other. Even if your interpretation involves them being morally grey or complex characters, you can make them have flaws without making them abusers.

Let me explain this: Romance is very, very complicated. It's not all sex, and it's not all fluff either. Most interpretations I see of cuttletavio are often 'All or Nothing' on certain factors. The three popular topics people put their stocks in are Angst, Sex, and Fluff. This is expected in fandom, but what bothers me is that so few people actually consider the alternatives, and that its usually ALL of one trait without anything else. Angst for the purpose of just angst doesn't hit, it's just edgy and boring. All smut with no love will wear thin. Tooth-rotting fluff has no substance if you don't even show the platonic side of their relationship. A good romance is oft built on a good friendship. Why not delve into those aspects? If you need them to kiss to tell they're in love, then you're doing it wrong.

Of course, that critique is moreso a small one. Beginner writers can easily fall into those and that's alright. Why it bothers me is because there is such a drought of good content- at least from my scope of view thus far- in cuttletavio. There is potential for greatness (and I am not slacking on trying to showcase this; I am working on my own content in the meantime), but hardly anyone delves into it. Why not explore how they got to know each other? The complexities of their characters? Tropes are alright, but get to a deeper level, and find the human within the idea. Not only that, but explore the world they're in! The circumstances of why they're in war! The politics, the governments, and the cultures of the time. These are old men in a fictional post-apocalyptic society devoid of humans. The inkfish could have evolved culturally in completely different ways! Please, just explore SOMETHING!

Y'wanna know why the whole toxic yaoi shit bothers me so much? Because it lacks creativity. It's overdone. Stale bread. It's like the slop they serve in a school cafeteria. You can get toxic yaoi ANYWHERE! It's such a common, overplayed trope for mlm ships, that you'll never go devoid of it. So why make cuttletavio into it? I haven't seen anything creative enough to excuse it. All i've seen is people committing character assassination and stripping them of any of their intrigue or humanity. It's bland. I'm sick of it.

Conclusion.

I'm too exhausted to write any more of this but yeagh. Just sick of this shit. There is potential to these two old men, both in their youthful and elderly years. Let them make love, war, friendship, and peace. Don't reduce them to poor dollar-a-dime toxic yaoi tropes that have become tired and sloppy from years of poorly written BL and similar.

If you can't write/draw/etc. good romance or sex without making them abusive in ANY way (cheating, non-con, physically, emotionally, etc.) then you need to learn how to write complex characters and complex stories. You can have characters argue without it being abuse. You can have complicated dynamics without all that.

[writingforfishes]

i loved your scenarios post, especially the one about getting hiccups from laughing as that’s how i get them.

do you have any more?

Hmmm. Okay. Gonna wrinkle up this grey matter a little bit and do some brainstorming to this ask.

A person prone to hiccups who usually gets them a certain speed and loudness suddenly gets a case that's the opposite. For instance, someone who usually gets rapid hiccups suddenly gets a case that's slower but a lot harder and visa versa.

O: HICK'UK! Oh wow...

A: Dang...

O: HU'UCK! Jeez. What the heck? These are really har-HI' ILP!-damn! Hard. Whew!

A: You okay? Your whole body is moving. That looks painful!

O: It's not HU'UP!-uh! It's not painful just really powerful. I can't help it. My body is ju-HNK'UP! :long, slow breath: I'm just kinda being thrown around here. Gawd, these are so weird.

A: Seriously! I can't tell if they're better or worse than your normal cases. Where did those come from?

O: The depths of my so-HAW'OCK!-shit! The depths of my soul, probably.

Transversely

C: Hu'up!-uh!-hup!-uh!-hilp!-uh!-hi'ip!hip!-uh!

M: You alright, C? Those are really fast!

C: Yeah hip!-but-hu'up!-but th--they're n-hnk!-not as-hmk!hmk!-hard as-nk!-as us--usual! Hmk! Kinda-hilp!-hard t-mk!-to g-mp!-get a brEAipth in th--though!

M: So probably too much spice then.

C: :while glaring: Hmp!-hmp!-mmk!-hu'up!-hip! Y--you th-i'hip!-ink?

M: We'll call that a failed experiment, then?

C: G--good c-aup!-all!

Someone who's kind of over having them but sees their partner who gets turned on by them coming toward them and keeps them because it'll lead to fun times for both of them.

O: HU'UP! Ugh. Hmp! Okay. M--maybe I shou-ulp!-ld cure these. Hngk!

A: Hey, O! Any coffee left?

O: :reconsidering: Himp!...huck'l! Yes. Lemme hngk!-uh! Lemme get you s--some! Hip!

A: How-um-how long have you had those?

O: Half-huck'm!-Half an h--our already. Heelp!-uh!

A: Oh. Uh. You're probably tired of them then.

O: Not that hu'up! that tir-hurp!-tired. Hup!...hmk!

A: Heh...!

O: C'hmp! C'mere! Mk!hu'uck!himpk!-uh!

A: They're getting faster!

O: They-hup! like-hikkle! yo-hoop!-you!

A: Sheeyit. Whew!

Someone in a movie theatre or an auditorium listening to a lecture who develops hiccups during. But they're sat in the middle of a row in the middle aisle so they can't leave inconspicuously. They have to decide whether to smother their hiccups and try to keep them quiet or get up and bother one half of a row and draw the awareness of both the speaker (if there is one) and the audience as they walk up and away.

Bonus points of they have their partner there and their partner keeps rubbing their back in sympathy. Even more bonus if their partner has the kink and is now trying to hide their arousal in addition to the hiccuper trying to muffle their hiccups.

Even better if the hiccuper has been really looking forward to or is really into the movie or the lecture and has stubbornly decided to stick it out because they paid good money for this and they aren't missing it for the world.

[conservativemalarkey]

@elgringo300 - I don't want to put you on the spot, but this comment is inaccurate in ways that make it a good history lesson. While I'm not a history expert either, I'm interested in the history of early Christianity, and it's a good bit more complicated (and fascinating!) than most people realize.

TLDR: "Roman" and "Christian" were never mutually exclusive categories. The religious fate of the Roman Empire and the rise of Christianity are one and the same.

There are two things you have to understand here:

The story of early Christianity that you get told in church has some gaps in it.

The story of the Fall Of The Roman Empire you get taught in school is often based in older scholarship. It's also often taught by people who don't understand the scale and timing of the events that happened. It's inaccurate to how historians understand the past.

Full disclosure- I'm tired and too lazy to cite sources. I'm also simplifying things dramatically because this is a tumblr post. If you see a tumblr post claiming that everything you know is horse hockey, you should do your own research before you incorporate it into your belief system- and that includes this one.

We good? Moving on.

SO. The story of early Christianity a lot of people learn goes something like this: "Jesus came, taught his followers how to live a good life, died, was resurrected, and went back to heaven. His apostles and followers tried to tell all the world what happened! But the evil Roman Empire tried to stop them and martyred any Christians they caught. Christians persevered, until the Empire collapsed under its own weight, and people were free to be Christian. And then, because Christianity is obviously the Right Way To Live, it spread to the whole world."

...And, well, there's a couple chunks missing from that story. For this post, the part we're concerned about is the bit between "Christians were martyred for their beliefs!" and "Rome fell".

The thing you have to understand about Roman religion is that Romans didn't think about religion the same way we do. In a monotheistic world where religion is usually a set of moral and cultural precepts, it can be hard to imagine a polytheistic world where religion is about the gods. The state religion in Rome- the one the Romans used law and custom to enforce- was about Making Deals With Gods (and ancestors, and heroes, and at certain points the Emperor), asking for their protection and giving them worship and offerings in exchange.

The Romans genuinely did not care what gods you worshiped in your own home. They might make fun of you if you worshiped weird provincial gods; they might be disgusted or angry if you said your gods asked you to break Roman laws. But they did not care what you believed in the same way that most American Christians today care.

What they did care about was whether or not you did the customary sacrifices and offerings that went along with the state religion. The best way to think of it- and this is a dramatic oversimplification- you know those evangelicals who are 'okay' with people not being Christian, but insist that no one is allowed to be gay because gay people make God send hurricanes at them? It was a bit more like that than the people who think that no one can be a good person without being Christian. The Romans were genuinely concerned that the gods would get pissed off if you didn't propitiate them, and no one wanted that.

Generally, if the Romans conquered an area where people were monotheists? An area like, say, Judea? They did not care if you did not believe in their gods. As long as you did the state religion's sacrifices and rituals? They'd be totally cool with you. Hell, they might even try to worship your monotheistic God along with all of theirs. (Remember Paul's sermon at the Temple of Diana on the Unknown God? Yeah.)

The trouble is, monotheists do not, as a rule, like acknowledging gods that are not their god. So there was always some... friction between Rome and Judea. Judea was an outlying border province full of people who were not always cool with the Roman state religion. People who could and did quite violently rebel against Roman rule. People who would get angry and rebellious if you tried to force them to acknowledge that your gods even existed, much less tried to force them to worship. Some emperors decided the best way to handle this was to exempt Jews from following the state religion; it saved everyone from a lot of bloody guerilla warfare. Some emperors decided the best way to handle this was to crack down and use Jews as scapegoats for every bad thing that happened to the Empire.

And for the first hundred years of Christianity's existence, people thought Christianity was just a weird form of Judaism. Legally, socially, and politically, Christians by and large got treated the same way. They were a freaky religious minority in an outlying province. But as long as they followed the rules and made the correct sacrifices at the correct times? Generally, they got ignored. If they refused to make those sacrifices? It depended on the whims of who was enforcing the law. Sometimes, they got ignored. Sometimes, they had their property confiscated. Sometimes, they got fed to lions. It really depended on who was running the show.

So how did we get from "Christianity is a freaky minority of an already strange religious minority in the border provinces" to "most people in Europe are Christian"? Well, there's two pieces to this.

FIRST: because Roman state religion was mostly dedicated to propitiating the gods, and because Rome tended to culturally integrate its provinces rather than enforcing its own customs upon them, mystery cults thrived. A lot of different religions sprung up that promised enlightenment, a higher state of consciousness, or everlasting life. And a lot of people bought into them, because the Roman state religion wasn't very spiritually fulfilling. Think of it like... your weird auntie who goes to a megachurch but swears by tantric yoga, or TikTok witches who say they can talk to angels. I don't know as much about mystery cults in Rome as I'd like, but there were three very popular ones:

Mithraism, which was from the East and which was popular among soldiers.... Sol Invicta, which I know very little about except that it existed... and Christianity, which was popular among common people, women, and slaves. (Incidentally, I could go on about early Christianity and women's lib for hours. Don't get me started.)

Either of these cults- or any of the smaller ones, really- could have wound up taking the place in society that Christianity did. People really want to believe in something bigger than themselves, and Strange Wisdom from Far Away is always going to find a foothold among people who want to believe.

So. Plenty of Romans became Christian. And the early Church's missionary efforts meant that people in Rome, Greece, Egypt, and even farther-flung places converted, because they took the "go ye to all the world" thing seriously. Eventually, a Roman emperor named Constantine converted to Christianity... and began using the state power that had enforced the Roman state religion to spread Christianity. He returned property that the state confiscated, he passed laws banning Christians from having to do state sacrifices, he protected missionaries, and a lot more stuff like that.

Because it was now safe and legally protected to be Christian? Because Christians now had special legal privileges? And because missionaries, emboldened by the Emperor himself, got even more intense in their proselytizing? Christianity spread like wildfire. Plenty of Romans converted. Plenty more stopped thinking of Christians as weird freaks and started thinking of them as their friends and neighbours. And people in the second category might not convert, but their wives and children might.

Here's the last piece of the puzzle. How much time do you think elapsed between Constantine converting to Christianity and the commonly accepted "Fall Of The Roman Empire"? Was it ten years? Twenty? Fifty?

Try closer to a hundred and fifty.

A hundred and fifty years in our past, Queen Victoria was still reigning over England (and brutally conquering New Zealand), Japan was doing the Meiji Restoration, the Mary Celeste was very busy going missing, and Susan B Anthony was casting her first vote.

Think of all the changes that have happened to the world since 1872. Change happened slower in the Classical era. But it still happened, and there was still a very long time for it to happen in. There was plenty of time for people to convert to Christianity before Rome fell. Plenty of people did, because it was popular and safe to. And as time went on, Christianity lost a lot of its rebellious nature and became a religion that was backed up by state power, palatable to people with power, and generally ... well. As someone commented on my religion post, any religion can go bad if it gets in bed with an empire.

And for most people- especially people who weren't in Rome and the parts of the Empire near to it? The "fall of Rome" was a slow process. Rome fell in part because of a bunch of economic crises and a plague, more than anything else. So it wasn't like The Walking Dead; the apocalypse was a very slow burn.

You got less news, less food, less luxuries. You got less people coming from distant provinces, and more strongmen trying to push you around. You got fewer soldiers protecting you, and more bandits. Your grandchildren would realize that they were living in a very different world than you were, but you might not realize just how much things have changed in the moment.

....So yes. Even accepting your premise that Christians put the world back together after Rome fell- which is a huge misunderstanding in its own right, to be clear- most of the Christians in question also thought of themselves as either Romans or as the heirs to Rome's Empire. Look up the Donation of Constantine sometime, or the history of Carolingian France, or the Byzantines. Hell, look at the history of the Holy Roman Empire (which, as we all know, was none of the above).

Like I said, this is all a simplification, and anyone who knows more about the history than I do, please feel free to elaborate. But yeah. Until, like, the Protestant Reformation? Most people did not see "Roman" or "Christian" as in any way contradictory. The reason we do now is largely due to Catholics focusing on martyrs, English religious wars and anti-Catholic sentiment, and Edward Gibbon. It's ahistorical. It's just not true.

If the Roman Empire had (somehow) become atheist, had given atheists special religious privileges, and had encouraged atheist proselytizing? Most people in the former Roman Empire and its descendants' colonies would be atheists. If the Roman Empire's state religion had remained a polytheistic muddle? We'd all be worshiping Jupiter and Juno. If the Roman Empire's state religion was Mithraism, we'd all be worshiping Mithra. Because people respond to incentives, and "the Empire is nudging you into converting" is one hell of an incentive.

[prydainroyals]

Dear Alice: Part 3

(Continued from here.)

---

"There's also Commander Murray, who likes it when we call him 'James' while not on duty. I'm almost certain the man is as tall as a tree. He's a brilliant fitness coach. Bit of a hardass, but he still manages to make it fun. He just won't let you be miserable unless you really need to take a break."

"And he's basically the base's Mum? He fusses over us and I'd wager he volunteers to be a sort of Morale Officer when he's stationed here. He loves organising group activities, which drives me bonkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, I'm really grateful. We have a spare storage room in the bunker part of the base he turned into a makeshift cinema, with a big sheet, a projector, fairy lights and everything."

"He's given me advice on things too. Not just about the Navy, but about life in general. I worry about being out of touch with actual, real people... but he's about as real as they come. Kind as he is, the Commander won't sugarcoat things. He'll tell you off if you need telling off, and he actually listens to you. As in, YOU, not... your position or titles or whatever, though he takes stock of those too. I dunno how he does it. I wonder who he talks to when he needs someone to listen? Maybe he gets something out of talking to all of us. It's not my business, I know, but I can't help but marvel at what sort of person has the strength to keep on giving like that. He and Harry are a lot alike in that regard."

"I imagine they're the sort of people who lean on each other. I'd hate to think they do so much for everyone while they go it alone."

"...and aaaaall across the field, speckled like diamonds, Harry... Oh, you would never believe it, lad..."

"What? What was it? You have me in suspense!"

"Toilets. Toilets everywhere."

Harry snorted and laughed in that good-mannered but knowing way of his. That way that said he knew someone was full of it, but he wasn't actually offended.

"Oh come off it!" he smiled. "There's no possible way you could have unbolted fifty toilets, transported them to the pitch, and strewn them all over without being caught," he pointed out.

"Certainly not without flooding the school in the process," Harry added.

"Of course not! We were keen enough to pay off the custodial staff with the money we'd pooled together. You have to remember: Mother Superior Florence was a terrible woman. It was a group effort. The younger Sisters stood by us, even."

Harry snorted again at such a fantastical story, and James sat back, his expression glowing with pride at a well-spun yarn.

"Alright, fine, enough with my silly stories," James relented, eyes still twinkling. "Tell me how you're getting on with Henry. How's he been?"

Harry's look of amused incredulity softened, his smile grew until it crinkled at the corners of his deep, dark eyes. He adored and missed his fiance, but wasn't always sure when it was the right time to talk about him.

"O-oh! He's well, thank you for asking," Harry bashfully answered. "We're well, actually. It can be difficult, having a relationship long-distance like this, but... we're managing, I think," he explained.

"I won't be up here forever, and much as I love assisting with the research and medical needs of this outpost... I do want to go home."

James gave a serious nod in response. "I know how hard it can be, trying to maintain a relationship across a tundra and at least one ocean. If you ever need to talk about anything, Harry, you can come to me about it. Alright?"

Harry's eyes looked so tired, but so grateful.

"Of course. And... and you can talk to me, James. I know you must miss Ethan terribly."

James blinked in surprise at the mention of his late husband, having honestly forgotten he'd confided in Harry about the anniversary of Ethan's death over a year ago. His posture slumped a little in resigned defeat, but his own smile softened, his bravado melting away to express gratitude of his own.

"... yeah. Yeah, every day. I'll be keeping that in mind. Thank you, Harry."

---

—

Interlude continued.

Happy Pride Month. <3

Fun fact: Commander Murray is a distant cousin of Arthur's, through Arthur's mother's family.

- - -

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[nurseguillermo]

WHO: Lin Xiu ( @detectivegoldstein ) , Mo de la Luna, Knightley SUMMARY: Mo and Knightley have lunch with Xiu

Mo had bags under his eyes, still reeling from everything with Eagan lately, Xiu being arrested had just felt like cherry on an already bullshit sundae. Only cause Fox had stepped in had he even been allowed to bring in food, it felt weird to be here for one last lunch, grateful Knightley had agreed to come. Walking in he held out the small brown bag through the bars while Knightley leaned against one of the wall just listening, "Uh...hey. I um...sorry it's nothing fancy, it was my turn...it's just tacos," they mumbled.

To say Xiu was surprised was an understatement.  Mo may very well have been the last person she expected to visit her cell.  With his gentle and caring nature, she was certain he would have taken the news the hardest.  Walking up to the bars, Xiu took the bag with some hesitation.  "Thank you, De l-Mo."  There was no need to be formal anymore.  After all, they were no longer coworkers.  "It's perfect, thank you."  Opening the bag, she looked at the wrapped tacos and at the two people on the other side of the bars.  "Would...you like to eat with me?"

Mo was fidgeting with his hands, blinking in surprise when she used his nickname. He glanced at Knightley who had moved over and nodded with an of course. "Yeah, I can always eat a taco," Mo replied taking one back from her to hand to Knightley and then one for himself. Slowly unwrapping it, he glanced at her again, "I'm sorry...I...this town is a lot and I...I'm just sorry you got stuck here," they said. There was still a part of them convinced if she'd never been here none of this would have happened. "If I did anything to make things harder on you here, I'm sorry."

Xiu was about to take a bite when she lowered the taco, looking at Mo in unbridled shock and confusion.  She even glanced at Knightley to make sure she heard everything right.  "Mo, no, you did nothing wrong.  You will never know just how much your friendship meant to me.  In fact, eating meals together every day was something I began looking forward to.  I hadn't shared a meal with someone since my parents."  Letting out a heavy sigh, she dropped her gaze to the floor.  "If there is one thing I regret, it's the pain I have caused you.  I'm the one that is sorry."

Mo had been chewing thoughtfully on his taco, missing the way Knightley had nodded at Xiu, the older man's face saying it all that Mo was genuine. Glancing up Mo had been listening to her, swallowed thickly, shaking his head slightly. "You don't-," cutting himself off he sighed before nodding, "I appreciate everything you taught me about nursing. You don't have to have regret...I'm not holding a grudge against you or anything. I'm not happy about it but I...I can get wanting to hurt elsewhere or wanting control."

He was truly full of surprises.  Mo...understood?  Even when Xiu showed her true self to Dorian, he didn't fully get why she did it.  But Mo got it correct right off the bat.  It was all about control, about changing the hurt.  Xiu had to catch herself from nearly dropping the taco in disbelief.  Perhaps she had opened up to the wrong person; not that she regretted having that connection to Dorian, but Mo made her feel seen in a way she had never experienced before.  Setting the taco gently back in the bag, Xiu pressed her hands tightly against her eyes in an attempt to will away the tears.  She was sick and tired of crying.  "You're right," her voice waivered.  She cursed sharply in Chinese, shaking her head as she lifted it up toward the ceiling, still pressing onto her eyes. 

Mo had finished his taco more for something to do, their own eyes are burning and they hate whenever anyone points out that they cry when frustrated or overwhelmed. It's because of that they don't mention what she's doing. Licking their lips, hating that they're right, he's never wanted to be more wrong in his life. "If it's ok I wouldn't...," pauses because at this point he wants her to know fully how he feels about things, there's no point in being vague, "I want to keep having lunch with you, if you want to keep having lunch with me. I know it sucks feeling alone and I...I don't want that for you."

Throat tight, Xiu lowered her hands and looked at Mo through the haze of tears. "I-I'd like that," she whispered. "I don't want to be alone."

Mo nodded again, he still wasn't sure how he felt about everything, that it was likely he'd never be 100% sure. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small wooden carving, "I'm not uh...it's not really a religious thing, more an art thing to some people. It's an alebrije, I mean some people think they're spirit guides, but uh...yeah. This one's yours," they mumbled, holding out a cat carving painted in colorful tiger stripes.

With a shaky hand she reached out to take the carving, staring at it with watery eyes.  Without warning her legs gave out as Xiu curled in on herself, holding the little tiger to her chest as she let out loud wails.  No one had ever given her something so thoughtful, so loving.  It was too much.  Her entire body wracked with each sob, a lifetime of loneliness crashing over her in waves.  This tiny little trinket was her most precious belonging, and she was only now receiving it with weeks, maybe even days left to live.

Mo hadn't really been sure how it was going to be taken, whether she might have thought it illogical or childish. When she fell his eyes widened and he jumped, glancing at Knightley whose eyes had widened. The only sign he was caught off guard as Mo felt. Dropping down to his own knees he reached through bars, gently rubbing her shoulder and parts of her arm he could reach.

Normally Xiu shied away from touch, but at this moment she leaned into Mo's comforting hands as she continued to sob. "W-why?" she hiccuped. "Why are you so kind to me?"

Mo blinked, for a second unsure he even knew the answer. He'd been angry when the news broke, angry and hurt. "I'm tired...," they said after a beat of silence giving her shoulder a squeeze, "I can kind of understand it, but I can't do what you did and keep passing on the hurt. You won't get that from me, I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner."

She shook her head, not understanding why they were even apologizing.  Still clutching the cat tightly in her hand, Xiu rested her hands on Mo's, arms crossed as she essentially held herself in an embrace.  "Thank you...for everything," she whispered.  "I'm sorry that I am who I am."

Mo wanted to say it was ok, but that wasn't completely true. "I don't think this is all you were, if there's another go around for us, I'd want to get to know all of it," maybe it was a strange idea but they were trapped in a town. Anything was possible.

Xiu nodded, not trusting herself to speak.  She would like that.  Another chance, an opportunity for a different life.  She leaned into the cell bars, trying to be closer to Mo.  To her most unlikely of friends.  They had a kind heart and somehow were the one person to understand her the best, despite the darkness in her own heart.  She sniffled, tears finally starting to slow down.  "Thank you for the gift.  I will treasure this tiger for as long as I can."

Mo nodded, his shoulders slumping as he squeezed her shoulder. He felt tired like he'd said, and more than a bit emotionally exhausted. Sitting with her for a moment when Fox came around giving them a time warning. Standing back up Mo ran a hand through his hair, "I'm gonna double check with him that it'll be ok for our lunches. Either way I'll see you again." 

Knightley nodded towards Mo, "I'll meet you outside in a moment," he said, receiving his own nod. Watching Mo give Xiu a half smile and small wave before stepping out. "He's more perceptive than I had given him credit for," Knightley said giving a small sigh, "I am appreciative of you returning his kindness with your friendship."

With shaky legs Xiu managed to get up off the ground, nodding her goodbye to Mo.  She watched him leave, eyes still trailing the door for a few moments after they left.  "He thinks this town was the catalyst.  I....have a selfish request.  Please, don't let him think otherwise."

Knightley had moved closer to the bar cells tilting his head to the side as he listened. "I wouldn't call that selfish, at the very least not anymore than I am. I wouldn't take that from either of you," he said. He paused in thought before asking, "Do you have any regrets?"

Xiu opened up her hand to look at the tiger, expression soft.  "Only in hurting him," she admitted quietly.  "I have been doing this for too long to have any real remorse.  You may think that wicked of me, but...I don't want to lie.  Not anymore."  With a sigh she looked back up at Knightley, a grimace on her lips.  "You know, when I first came here I had determined I would use Mo as a scapegoat if I were to ever get caught.  But...when the time came I couldn't bring myself to do it."

"No I don't think that's wicked of you," Knightley replied slowly shaking his head. He hummed in thought, "It wouldn't have been a bad plan, he likely would have incriminated himself out of guilt." It felt odd to have this conversation in the open now, after tip toeing around for so long. "You reminded me of my uncle when we first met," he said softly, "Though I don't believe for him it was ever about transferring hurt. I'll admit I had a slight ulterior motive to our friendship when I had my suspicions over your activities. That perhaps I could finally understand him better."

It was...nice, to be able to truly talk with Knightley about the thoughts that went on in her head.  Xiu had come close to opening up to him a few times in her near year of knowing him, but never followed through.  That he had an ulterior motive to their friendship didn't bother her.  Afterall, weren't most relationships transactional in nature?  "Were you successful?"

"No, despite what you might believe of yourself, at the very least you can be genuine. The only time I ever saw anything genuine of him was when he held a scalpel," Knightley said slowly shaking his head. He ran a hand through his hair in thought, "I also don't believe he'd have ever been capable of change. I believe you had that potential where he did not. There is a humanity to you that he lacked, something that I think if he heard me say out loud would likely have outraged him that I do find it a bit amusing to consider now."

Her expression turned thoughtful as Xiu tilted her head in consideration.  "You really think I could have changed?  Would I not still deserve punishment for the years of death that precluded everything?"  Straightening back up, she reached tentatively with her free hand to take one of Knightley's through the bars.  "I'm sorry I couldn't help with your uncle.  I wish I could give you some kind of closure."

"That's not for me to decide," Knightley paused when she took his hand, though he didn't flinch, touch wasn't something he particularly enjoyed still but he wasn't opposed to it with Xiu at present. Now he lowered his voice, "He built me to be a Venus flytrap, when I was young the argument could be made of my own naivety. However I was with him for over 30 years, working alongside him." He gave her hand a small squeeze, "When I killed him, it wasn't out of revenge or some misguided need for justice. It was mercy, he'd become erratic and was making mistakes. He would have hated to see himself like that. I could have given many closure but I didn't, so you don't have to apologize, that is likely part of my punishment now." He thought back to her earlier question before he said, "I do believe you could have, when we lack connections we become stagnant, I do think if you had felt seen there's a chance you may have changed. Those in town would likely have me next to you if they'd known all I'd done, I can't undo it, I just try to make up for it now."

Xiu nodded, feeling lighter knowing that she was not the only one with dark secrets.  Though Mo saw her in a way she never anticipated, Knightley was the one that likely understood her better than anyone.  They were two sides of the same coin.  "I hope this town never knows, and only sees you for the man I got to know."  Xiu gave a rueful smile.  "Not that my opinion likely matters in a place like this."

Despite himself Knightley laughed, "No but you understanding the situation does have me holding your opinion in higher regard," he admitted. When he heard Fox by the door again he let out a sigh. "I'm not completely sure what you're walking into, but would you like me to make a case for a sedative for you?"

[kimtaegis]

do you also feel like everyone is in a point now where we miss the members so fucking much that it's exhausting in a way? like... less than a month for jin to be here and i still feel like that. and i know that when he's here things will feel better but i also know that i'll still miss the others an awful lot. every day i see multiple tweets saying "i miss bts"

it seems like watching their old contents and even the new ones that were pre-recorded is very cool but it also hurts bc i'm just "damn, wish you were here". and i also envy people who have the exact same enthusiasm while listening to their old and new songs as before bc i'm like in my 20% when before i used to do it so much more. it makes me sad, but will be here trying and doing what i can...

it feels weird when i see a pic or video of them together (that we hadn't seen before) bc it's been so long and it just hurts man i don't know other word for it. it just hurts ☹️ and yeah let's be real, when the time for all of them to be back is near, we'll be saying "it went faster than i thought", and that will be true, but right now? no, still a long time to wait and it sucks. especially with the awful things that have been happening, how the fandom is crazy rn, going through stuff .....

really missing them, tired of everything, but will be waiting as always. and i hope they're feeling well :/

hmmm I wouldn’t say that everyone feels exhausted (me included) about it but I can definitely understand what you mean. like sometimes, I have this somewhat .. hollow yet heavy? feeling when I think about them being away. and I can relate to the “not being able to be super excited about new content” aspect for sure. it’s very thoughtful and sweet that they prepared so much, but it just doesn’t hit the same when they’re not here to show it to us “personally”. plus the whole hybe being fucking awful thing on top? hm. it really just isn’t the same. but I also think it’s fine? I didn’t like that you said “I will be here trying and doing what I can” – darling, if you’re not feeling as joyful as before (for very obvious, valid reasons), then that’s okay! you don’t have to treat this as a duty or chore etc, that makes it even worse in the end. try to spend your free time with things that do you good these days rather than worrying about meeting certain excitement levels. being sad and bummed out about the whole situation is more than understandable, and you’re not alone with those feelings 🫂

[crystalelemental]

@patchun did it, so now I'm doing it. Apparently it's just a big grid of your favorites, if anyone else wants to play along. I tried to be more honest with myself about pre-evolutions, but we all know how that can go.

GEN 1 There were no Dark types, and only one Steel type, so that's a little lame. Otherwise, Gen 1 has a lot of "my favorite is a pre-evo." Eevee, yes Vulpix over Ninetales in this moment, and most critically, Kadabra over Alakazam. Kadabra is, at least at present, my favorite Gen 1 mon again. Just like when I was a lad. I loved Kadabra. One that I think might stand out is Nidoran-Male. There are plenty of Poison types, but truth be told? I always just thought Nidoran-Male was super cute. I love its big ears. It's not the same when it starts evolving.

GEN 2 I feel like none of this should be surprising, and I'm sleepy, so moving on.

GEN 3 Gen 3 has excellent Pokemon, I love them. Illumise is a bit of an odd pick, but I had a really fun AlphaSapphire run one time that ran Illumise and it did pretty well, endearing it to me. Otherwise...yeah, actually, Mega Mawile is preferred over Gardevoir at this time. I miss it so bad...

GEN 4 Despite my love of Gen 4, I feel like a large draw is its legends. A lot of these feel like filling in a box. That said, Mesprit. There are so many good legends, but I'm tired of pretending Mesprit isn't my favorite.

GEN 5 Lilligant Sweep. Honestly, looking back at how much I love so many Gen 5 designs, it's nuts to think that people hated on it. Also we're back to having pre-evos as favorites. Frillish is better than Jellicent, with the pink one being my favorite, while I also just like Dewott better than Samurott, and think it's the best starter form of the generation.

GEN 6 Okay, so at this point, I should mention: I decided to put something different in each box, to avoid just spamming certain favorites. That was ill advised when you get to gens 6-8, given how few new additions there really were. So much of this feels like picking something. That said, special shoutouts to Gourgeist, who is legitimately one of my favorites ever, but cannot compete with Lilligant.

GEN 7 UB Sweep. Also, I love Pikipek. I love Trumbeak. I don't really love Toucannon. I loved woodpeckers, and was really excited by having one, but then it evolves and it's like sure, this makes sense. Morelull was the worse outcome, but the short is Gen 7 really did not endear itself to me with the evolution decisions. It did, however, endear itself via Moon Bat and the Ultra Beasts. Nihilego being the easy favorite. Like, come on.

GEN 8 Man, thank god for Legends Arceus, am I right? If it's from legends, safe to assume it's actually my favorite. If it's from Galar, it's like a 50/50 I was just filling a spot. That said, I am here to pick fights right now. Thievul is cute, y'all are just mean, and I fucking love Indeedee. Great shit.

GEN 9 I happen to like Paldea quite a lot. That said, wow do Ice and Bug not have much going on. Ice is especially painful, but I actually do like Frigibax. I saw it first in the evolution line and was like oh hey, that's a pretty cool dragon thing, and it's Ice type that's crazy! And then I saw its pre-evo form and was like oh, that's not so good. And then I saw its final form and was like "well that's not too bad" until I saw it move. It's not great. But the rest I legitimately love. Arboliva, Ceruledge, Espathra, Glimmora, Bellibolt, and yes all of the Meowscarada line. They're really good.

MISCELLANEOUS Not a ton to mention in the special section, but I'll comment on a bit. Spearow line is great, they're just vilified because of the anime. But if you think about it, Pidgey spams Sand Attack and is a little punk-ass bitch with Whirlwind when it evolves, while Spearow is an honorable warrior. Chingling is probably my favorite baby? I briefly debated Smoochum solely for being not-Jynx, before decided I didn't really like that one either. Flareon is my favorite Eeveelution but couldn't win over Vulpix, so it just...never got to appear. I'm sorry, I just love the Vulpix line so much.

OVERALL I assume none of these final decisions are surprising, so instead, here's the official ranking of each within the favorites (just the 18 types):

Lilligant - Absolute favorite, I adore Lilligant.

Nihilego - Very, very close second, I love this space jellyfish that deletes your personality.

Gardevoir - I can't help myself, I just love Gardevoir. It's such a good design.

Mawile - While Mega Mawile won out over Gardevoir overall, I think that's as much sadness over losing it as actually preferring it. They're pretty evenly matched, but without the mega, I think Gardevoir pulls ahead.

Mesprit - Emotion gremlin, I love you Mesprit, it's so cute and I am instantly drawn to emotion things.

Kingdra - I actually really love Kingdra. I think it's the Johto thing, and the strong association with Clair, who is a favorite. It's also just a cool dragon, like look at that thing.

Glaceon - Eeveelutions suck so bad, and I'm so mad about it, but I love you Glaceon, you and Flareon are hot garbage but you're my favorites.

Iron Valiant - Iron Valiant is so goddamn cool, what a good Paradox Pokemon. I just...wish I had more time with it, you know? Maybe over time it'll climb up, but I think it's just too...locked to one of the very last things you can do to attach.

Mismagius - Super cool ghost witch. Love this thing.

Milotic - It's very pretty, and it's one of the few Water types I stronly respect. I'm sorry, I don't love Water types.

Indeedee - Look, Indeedee's my girl. It's such a cute little design, I love that it got Psychic Terrain on entry, I'm dying for Pokemon Masters to give Caitlin or Darach one of these things. It's so good.

Braixen - Fennekin is the best starter ever designed, and Braixen is therefore the best by virtue of being the best iteration within that evolutionary line. REALLY wish it were Psychic type.

Krookodile - It's just a really cool thing. I wind up using Krookodile like every time I play Gen 5, it's just such a cool thing.

Diancie - You should be higher, but Pokemon is terrible with how mythic Pokemon are distributed so I just don't have enough direct engagement with it.

Vespiquen - This is the coolest bug. And it's also one of the shittiest. Life's not fair, is it?

Meowscarada - I actually do really like Meowscarada. I think it's a cool concept, and for a humanoid creature like we feared, it actually didn't turn out as bad as I expected.

Ampharos - Electric is one of my least favorites types, but Ampharos line is just so cute. Look at this thing. That is a friend.

Noctowl - I just think it's the coolest regional bird, and deserves more respect.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

kink & asexuality: further thoughts

inspired by these tags via @\skelebk on this post (not tagging them because this post might get a little tmi and they're like. a stranger. but I do want to credit them for giving me the inspiration for this rant because their tags bring up something important that I feel needs to be discussed)

(also, disclaimer that this post isn't trying to change anyone's mind. if you're happy in the kink scene, great! I want you to keep being happy. but this post is about why I, personally, was not happy in the kink scene, and how I made myself a hell of a lot happier once I left it.)

#had a friend who was very into the kink scene#would go to those kink clubs sort of into the scene#they would go on a lot about kink and how great it is and would encourage me to try it out#at some point it started to feel like talking to a religious person who keeps trying to convert you#they also IDed as ace and knew I did too#they kept stressing it wasn't all sexual#it was very tiring#ace#some people just need therapy and not kink#and that's okay

and I want to ramble for a second (it might be gibberish but I am asking you to please bear with me here) about "they kept stressing it wasn't all sexual"

because that's one of those things, like "some aces have sex"/"some aros can be in romantic relationships" that is... true, I guess, but also missing the point. because yeah, not everything under the umbrella of kink involves bumping uglies. that's true. however, the vast majority of how the kink community is organized and structured, its aesthetics, what is talked about within those spaces, what is assumed of people who choose to spend their time within it, etc. exists with the expectation that there is a psychosexual nature to the activities being performed. I know this, from my ill-fated attempts to fit my kind of relationship into the paradigm of kinky power exchange. I also know this from my time trying to do conventional kinky power exchange in a "nonsexual" (but still, because of the nature of kinky power exchange, psychosexual) way.

"nonsexual" kink is, more often than not, still psychosexual. "nonsexual" kink done in an unsafe, irresponsible, or abusive manner can still affect someone in much the same way that sexual trauma can affect someone. and most importantly, "nonsexual" kink is still incredibly dangerous to participate in unless you are a mature and autonomous adult with a good handle on how you react in difficult or stressful situations.

the thing is, though, there are elements of kink that have applications outside of the psychosexual. but if someone wants to explore a certain not directly sexual thing that happens to also fall under the umbrella of kink, whether that not-directly-sexual thing is leader/follower roles or certain types of sensory experiences or whatever, the kink community is often the only place to explore that. and it shouldn't be, especially when it is so hostile by design to so many who could benefit from things that originated within it.

personally, I think that what we need is other types of communities that aim to center different lenses through which these things are experienced. the kink community centers the psychosexual— we need communities that center the psychosocial, the spiritual, the sensory, the intellectual, the cathartic. we need communities that build on the work that kink communities have already done while also critiquing the places where kink communities fall short. I'm already kind of starting to do this, with Trusted Companionship (specifically, what I am doing is looking at power exchange from a psychosocial angle, focusing on consensual exploration of leader/follower roles as a liberatory practice for those who have had power wielded against them).

but we need more people doing the same thing from different angles, because just like kink as a paradigm won't work for everyone, Trusted Companionship as a paradigm won't work for everyone who kink doesn't work for.

and we also need to stop doing that annoying thing where we assume that the only way to have a healthy relationship at all is through kink. because jesus fuck, dude. why do we do that.

[thessalian]

Thess vs A Lack of Consideration

So there is literally no end to the absolute bloody cheek of my colleagues.

I spent most of the day looking at the typing queue and going, "The number of items typed hasn't gone up that much but the time stamps on the earliest items in the queue haven't changed; what the fuck is going on?"

I found out what the fuck was going on when I got to a certain point in the dictation and found out that everything from about 2pm to 6pm yesterday was typed, and the only things left besides today's typing were the earlier things - and every single one of them was either very long, dictated by someone with significant issues with the dictation, or both.

And then Milady came along and took the shortest and most reasonable of those, instead of taking them in order, which would have had her doing a long-ass monstrosity by a junior doctor who repeats herself an awful lot but instead left said monstrosity to me.

I mean, the unending nerve of these people. The rules are simple - you take the damn things in the order in which they were dictated when transcribing them, unless they're urgents and/or someone has asked specifically for them.

You know the worst part about this? It's that I would be a lot less angry and frustrated if someone came up to me and just said, "You're better at this than anyone in the department and we need you on these". I mean, I'd still be annoyed, because my colleagues are supposed to be fucking professionals and you learn to do this shit, you know? But at least I'd understand it - doctors expect a certain standard, even if they don't reach it themselves, and I'm probably the only one in the department who takes the word salad that comes out of the faces of the doctors and converts it into rational sentences. So yeah, I'd be annoyed that no one else was stepping up but at least I'd understand the necessity. Thing is, thre's no necessity here. It's not even a matter of lack of ability; it's simple laziness. It's saying, "These are awful. I don't like them. I don't want to do them. I'll make [Thess] do them instead, even if [Thess] struggles with them because of disability. I don't care if [she] suffers."

I'm tired of being the only one who steps up when we're swamped. I'm tired of being the only one Scruffman asks to do fiddly shit with sending reports to patients who referred cases to us (because somehow none of our new systems seem to send those reports directly to the people who asked for them in the first place, so we get emails from these people once a month, so ... what the fuck?). I'm tired of being left with the long and complicated bullshit to the point where they'll take a four-plus hour wodge of typing from the afternoon just so they don't have to touch the long complicated stuff that's normally done in the morning. I am tired of doing every single piece of shit work in the department. And I am really tired of knowing that Scruffman will not do anything about any of it because he's conflict-avoidant, I'm not there to physically get into his face, and he doesn't care so long as the work gets done and he doesn't look like he's in over his head in a managerial role that he's not actually qualified for.

I'm just tired. I was going to go out to pick up a few things but now everything feels like way, way too much work. It's not anything I actively need, but I thought "really nice but low-effort dinner plus glorious snackies and the assault of Moonrise Towers" would be a great way to spend a Friday night. I do have an alternative option but somehow "tuna broccoli lemon pasta" isn't as motivating as, like, "bacon mozzarella burger with hash browns and salad, maybe with actual decent tomatoes".

I miss being able to just order a burger. I mean, I can, but the options are "no bun at all; just whole thing wrapped in lettuce" or "kind of crappy bun", and both are expensive as fuck. Besides, I could make a better burger in my sleep. Even deprived of A1 sauce as I am.

...That reminds me; need to make up that list to send with Mum when she goes to North America in a few weeks. She's being kind enough to bring me maple syrup, expensive as that's become, but I want A1 sauce ... and, because Baking Yesteryear, I also require Jello and Jello pudding. I've checked and they are gluten-free.

Also flu vaccine before MCM Comic Con, if it can be arranged.