#i'm countin it

[howlingday]

Cardin: Dum de dum de do... WHAT THE?!

Cinder: (Lights Jaune's hair on fire)

Jaune: (Lifts foot, Blows on it)

Cinder: (Pushes him over) Mwahaha! See you later, whoever you are~! (Leaves)

Cardin: What the heck was that?!

Jaune: Huh? Oh, hi, Cardin.

Cardin: Don't you "Oh, hi, Cardin" me! That chick was picking on you! That's MY job!

Jaune: What?

Cardin: Don't try to deny it! I saw the whole thing!

Jaune: Whoa! Hey, hey, hey! Cardin! It's not like that!

Cardin: (About to cry) Do you hate her more than me?!

Jaune: What?! No! Cardin, you're the worst! I didn't like you the second I saw you at initiation.

Cardin: (Blushing, Swooning) Aw~! Geez~!

[apoorhuman]

Lilia: so Yuu, I heard from rumours that you have been petting Malleus in the head, is that true?

Yuu: yes it is

Lilia: how many times have do this with Malleus?

Yuu:... Yes

Lilia: *concerned* Yuu how many

Yuu: yes

Lilia: *sweating* Yuu...

Yuu:

[blockofhoney]

actually y’know what. let’s just go for it. give me a random number n i’ll talk about the dsmp au / fic it corresponds to

[lovevalley45]

if i had a nickel for every time mick fucked an alien on a mission, i'd have two nickels

which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice

[angcrmanagcmcnt]

Jeez, that was a long nap....

[ofskellingtcns]

WESLEY. —  “ thick skull never did nothing for me same lesson again ? come on, give it to me. ” [ LISTEN ]

[dymagamwedd]

ok while there's nsfw on the dash. i do think that ferry has uhhh regular relations in the mines. listen, it may not be sanitary, but sometimes you're in a dark corner with your marra and some sudden noise or shadow spooks you into each other's arms and then his hand is down your trousers and you both need the stress relief anyway and it kinda feels good to fuck on company time so. like. you know?

[kulemii]

pls i need nothing to happen to him. 🙏🏾 he seems like such a little ray a sunlight pls pls pls

[familyvideostevie]

watching you with wonder

joel miller x reader joel claims to have heard something interesting. too bad he keeps insisting he needs more information before he can tell you | 5.4k a/n: same universe as come care about me but not necessary to read that one first! joel is soft, this is my version of him where he and ellie heal and he gets to have a life etc etc etc | domesticity, post-part i jackson au, joel is a flirt and a gossip but good thing you are too, a fair amount of kissing, fluff, softness, peace and all that good stuff. part 3 here! series masterlist here.

It's been a long day. The supply run you'd been dreading went off without a hitch but you were out of the gate at sun-up and in the saddle for most of the morning and afternoon. Your legs are sore, your back is sore,  and you're dirty from a day outside the walls.

You haven't seen Joel since this morning. Not unusual, not by any means. Most days you're both doing something in town, occasionally one of you out on patrol. You're partial to the plant work and Joel likes to chop wood or check out houses that need upgrades with Tommy. But after a day like today you want nothing more than to go home and complain about how much you miss cars while Joel works the knots out of your shoulders. 

But tonight is Festival Night. Nothing big, just a dance at the barn that serves as the community center with music and drinks and food. And Joel, despite his insistence that he's Jackson's resident grump, will be there, because Tommy will have asked him to go and he doesn't like disappointing his brother. And, though he'll never admit it even to you, he enjoys community events. He gets to see the people he loves having a nice time and feeling safe. 

So you head from the stables to the main hall, not bothering to stop at home. Jackson seems to be lit up extra special, the air a little lighter due to the laughter and music brightening the night. The noise becomes almost overwhelming when you open the door and slide inside, dropping your pack against the wall. It's much warmer in here and you unbutton your coat as you make your way through the crowd, waving to people as you go. 

Joel is here somewhere but you don't try too hard to spot him. You know he'll find you. Someone calls your name and you pivot on your heel to find Ellie waving at you from a...poker table?

"Wanna join?" she asks once you walk over. Next to her is Tommy, who looks significantly less excited than she does. "I'm teaching Tommy how to play poker. Oh, sorry, I'm fucking smoking Tommy at poker."

"I know how to play, you little shit," Tommy growls. "Who taught you? This isn't poker, this is a fuckin' massacre." 

Ellie cackles and tips her chair back so she's balancing on the back legs.

"I'll pass this round," you tell her. "Looks like you've got him handled."

"You just want to find Joel." She looks at you in that uncanny way of hers like she knows all of your secrets. But this is one you have no problem admitting.

You smile at her. "Seen him?"

"Now that you're here I'm sure he'll slink out of whatever corner he stuck himself in," Tommy grumbles. "Girl, you sure you ain't countin' cards?"

You leave them to it and wander over to the bar. Astrid pours you a glass of something amber. You take a sip and let the burn warm your throat, your stomach. The music behind you picks up and there's laughter and you turn to see people pairing up and flocking to the floor. 

You close your eyes to enjoy the sounds that mean peace, safety, home. It never gets old and you never quite get used to it. You inhale deep and -- ah, yes. There it is. A smile spreads across your face as you breathe in wood glue, gunpowder, the soap you make at home. Your heart beats a little faster, even after all this time.

"Hi," you say, opening your eyes. Joel stands in front of you, one hand in his pocket and the other holding a glass similar to your own. His hair curls at his collar, edges still a little wet from the shower he must have taken before coming here. His shirt is rolled to his elbows, his jacket clearly discarded somewhere. Your gaze trails up his chorded forearms, his watch securely in place as always. This is what you've called his "nice" shirt, a deep green that makes the grey of his beard all the more striking and brings out his eyes. 

Eyes that settle on you in a way that sends heat up your spine.

"Howdy," he says. "You just get here?"

"Like you weren't watching the door for me," you tease. He shrugs and reaches for you, his free hand curling around your hip to tug you close for just a few moments. Joel presses his lips to your cheek lightly, his beard scratching your skin as he pulls away and settles at your side, arm resting on the bar behind you. 

"Well, I ain't seen you all day," he reminds you. As if you could forget. Every second you're not looking at him you sort of wish you were. There aren't many good things left in your life -- all of them are in this town, now -- and you tend to hold on to the ones you still have with both hands. Joel, despite the fact that he'd argue with you over it, is your good thing. Your best thing.  

"Miss me?" 

"Dumb question," he mutters. 

His fingers brush against the back of your bicep, warm through your jacket. "How was the run?"

"Easy. Long." You take a sip of your drink. It's still warming but doesn't measure up to the solid warmth of the man beside you. "I came straight here."

"That would explain why you smell like shit," he drawls. You smack his chest. He doesn't so much as flinch.

"Rude."

Joel watches the crowd and you watch him. That's how it usually goes with you two. You figure he's watching for threats, for any sign of something going wrong. It's a habit most folks here find hard to break. He's watching Ellie, who has left the poker table behind, twirl some of the children around with Dina, he's watching Tommy try to teach a few drunk guys how to square dance like he does every Festival. Joel curls his hand around your shoulder and you lean back into the touch. 

On a night like tonight when joy is more contagious than the fungus spreading through the rotting world, Joel loosens up a little. It's a good look on him and it only ever means good things for you -- he laughs more, he touches you more. But most importantly you know he lets life in. He lets that knot you know is in his chest, the one made of fear and loss and survival and all of the horrible fucked up things he's seen and done, he lets it loosen even just a bit. He lets himself feel the good things, too. How much the people in this town respect him, care about him. How much they appreciate him. How much they love him, how much you love him.

You look at him in the soft light of the barn. There's a tug to his mouth that you know.

He looks smug. It's a nice look on him, a relaxed one. He looks too handsome for his own good. And though you love him, love how he's enjoying the night, like hell you're going to let him stand there and get away with whatever he's cooking up.

"Joel Miller, why are you looking so pleased with yourself?"

"No reason," he says. He takes another sip of his drink, side-eyeing you over the rim. This man. 

You tap the heel of your boot against his. "Don't make me beg."

His eyes flash but he turns into your space, the solid shape of him curling around you as well as his arm. In another world, in another life, he could be a handsome man picking you up at a bar. 

"I heard somethin'," he says, voice low. "Somethin'...interestin'."

"Really?" You look around the barn as if the object of his gossip will materialize in front of you. "Tell me."

He leans back and you have to stop yourself from following. "Don't think so."

"Joel."

This man can be such a shit when he wants to be. 

He holds the hand carrying his glass up in surrender, the brown liquor sloshing close to the rim. "Hey now, don't go shootin' the messenger."

"I can't because he won't tell me the message."

"S'not anything worth tellin' just yet," he drawls. "I need a little more intel. Y'know, make it worth your while."

You sigh, hamming it up a bit by thunking your forehead to his collar. Joel huffs a laugh and fully drapes his arm across your shoulders, warm and solid. 

It's all fun but you know there's a note of truth to it. Joel can lie better than most people but he doesn't lie to you. "Fine. You get away with it for now."

The song changes to something old and slow, something you recognize but don't quite remember the name of.

"Only if you dance with me," you say. You swallow the last of your drink and push off the bar, sliding out from under his arm. You hold your hand out to him and wiggling your fingers. "It's only fair."

He sighs like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. And he is, sometimes. But right now his cheeks are a little flushed from the drink and your flirting and you want to see how far you can take it.

"Unless I smell too much like shit," you goad. You don't actually think he'll go for it. Joel doesn't dance. It feels like the kind of good time, the kind of joy that is forever stuck in the past, left behind twenty odd years ago. Honestly, you think he'll just drag you home and have his way with you in your warm bed. 

But he manages to surprise you.

Joel throws back his drink and grabs your hand. His thumb strokes your skin.

"S'pose it is," he says. "You don't smell that bad."

A delighted laugh spills from you. He leads you to the already-crowded dance floor, pulling you close with a hand on your back. You rest your arm on his broad shoulder and hook your thumb in his collar. 

"Not so bad, is it?" you say. Your faces are so close you're practically cheek to cheek. You feel his breath on the shell of your ear, his beard a little prickly against your cheek. 

"Could be worse." You and Joel gently sway and you toy with the ends of his hair. Over his shoulder you can see Dina and Ellie dancing, arms wrapped around each other tight. You close your eyes and match your breaths to Joel's. 

"We should do this more often," you say. "Bet they'd let you play guitar at the next festival if you wanted."

Joel hums. 

"Don't forget you have to deliver the firewood to the school tomorrow." He presses his hand to your back and pulls you even closer. "Are you listening to me?"

"Mhm."

"Joel --" Your eyes fly open and you try to pull away to goad him but he holds you steadily against him.

"Hush," he says, fingers squeezing yours. "I'm enjoyin' the moment."

You allow it.

___

The gossip Joel mentioned is in the back of your mind but you know he'll tell you when he's satisfied with his information gathering or whatever the fuck he's up to. Sure, it's silly, maybe even pointless but you like to think of it as a display of the trust you have in each other. You trust Joel with your life and you've put that into practice, watched him bloody his knuckles for the ones he loves. You also trust him with your heart, your body, your mind. There's no part of you that his hands haven't touched, haven't loved in the jagged, intense way of his. 

Plus you enjoy seeing him pleased with himself, which you know he will be once he has the whole story to tell you. It's not a mood you see on him often.

You finally have a free night and Ellie asks you to come over to try out a new video game Jesse found for her on patrol. Joel waves you off when you offer to stay in with him instead.

"Means I'll get some peace and quiet to finish my book," he grumbles, handing you your coat even though you're walking across the yard. He's already peeled off his boots and looks half-awake in the dim light of your entryway, glasses tucked into the collar of his sweater.

"More like you're going to sit in bed and fall asleep reading without me talking to keep you awake."

He sends you off with an eye roll and a soft kiss which you turn into two more, just because. Maybe a few years ago he'd sit in the chair downstairs and wait for you to come home. He does like to play his guitar on the porch when it's not too cold, keep an eye on things. But you'll be with Ellie just out back and it's been a long week. It's no small point of pride that, with the help of your reassurance and persistent care and his own conviction, Joel allows himself to relax a little. "Have fun."

You do. Ellie and Joel have a history that is complex and tender, so much so that sometimes it's too much for both of them. After it seemed like she was open to it, you've tried to make sure you and her have a relationship all your own. She's smart and funny and fiercely loyal to the people she cares about. You feel lucky to be one of them.

But she still annihilates your ass when it comes to video games. 

"You know," she says, cracking her knuckles after yet another defeat. "It's embarrassing as shit how you literally lived in a time where you could play these like, whenever you wanted. And yet it's me, who was born after the world ended, who keeps winning."

You make sure to look unamused. "Whatever." You stand, stretching out your spine with your arms above your head and yawn. "It's teenage luck." You have no idea how this girl stays up so late all the time. 

"I guess I'm just good at everything."

"Oh, you sure about that?" She hands you your coat and tugs on the strings of her sweatshirt. "I've seen you in a kitchen. You might want to rethink that one."

"Psh," she says, waving you off. "Who needs to cook, anyway?"

You slide into your boots and shake your head. "I'm actually shocked Dina puts up with you." 

"Hey, fuck you!" she cries, though she's hiding a smile. "No insulting me in my own home. It's Joel's fault, anyway. He can't cook either."

You snort. "Don't I know it." She grins at you fully, the one you call her shark-tooth smile, and you grin back. "Thanks for this, kiddo. I had fun." 

"Yeah, maybe one day you'll win." You tug her in for a quick hug which she allows before squirming away. "Alright, alright. Go make sure he didn't burn down the house without you, or something."

It's late, late enough that you feel yourself getting more tired with each step back to the porch. Joel left the back door unlocked for you. You latch the deadbolt behind you and peel off your outer layers in the dark. A quick glance in the kitchen tells you Joel put your stuff from dinner away and is probably in bed. He's left out your mugs, ready for the morning, and the list he's been making of things you need to do around the house before it snows. You love to see the pieces of your life on display like this -- signs that this is a home.

You don't bother being quiet when you climb up the stairs because you know he'll be pissed if you don't wake him to let him know you're home. The bedroom light is on but when you actually go in you see he's in bed with his book in his lap, glasses sliding down his nose. His eyes are closed and his bare chest rises slowly.

He's probably only half-asleep, probably heard you come in and decided it was safe enough to shut his eyes until you say something. So you get ready for bed quickly, tugging on soft clothes and brushing your teeth before creeping over to his side of the bed and perching on the edge of it, resting your hand on his thigh under the covers.

"Joel," you say softly. "Joel, are you asleep?"

"Yes," he grumbles. His eyes flutter open, the piercing grey a little clouded with tiredness. He reaches for his glasses and pulls them from his face a bit clumsily. "You okay? You n'Ellie have fun?"

"We did. She's so good at video games it's a little scary." You pluck the frames from his hand and fold them, setting them on his bedside table with his book. He grunts and pushes himself up a little more in bed, his leg pressing against your tailbone through the blankets. It's a real show of your restraint that you don't run your hands over the golden and hairy expanse of his chest, the broad line of his shoulders. Instead you reach for his face and he lets you, eyes crinkling at the corners as he tries and fails to hide his amusement as you trail your fingers through his hair. Just being here with him makes you a little sleepy, your body catching up with your mind at how you always feel safest when he's in the room with you. "S'cold, though. I think we might need to put some more insulation in the shed for her."

"Alright," he says. Joel wraps his fingers around your wrist and pulls your palm to his cheek but quickly flinches away. "Christ," he mutters. "Your hands are cold." He encases both of your hands in his and rubs slowly, throughly. 

"Let me get in bed, then." You make no effort to move. 

Joel blows on your fingers and, in a move that's tender even for him, presses his lips to their tips. "I ain't holdin' you here."

"Sarcasm," you say. "And Ellie claims you're not funny." Joel scoffs and you laugh, rising from his side of the bed and making your way around to yours. Joel flicks back the covers and you slide in, facing him. 

"Light off?" he asks. You nod. He shuffles around to flip the switch and then settles into his side with a groan. It's dark but you know his face with your eyes closed, let alone in the moonlight of your bedroom. The gash on the bridge of his nose, the scruff of his greying beard, the nicks along his cheeks and temples. The age spots, the wrinkles, the lines at the corners of his eyes and mouth, these days more from smiles and laughter than stress and worry. Or so you like to think. 

"Got any gossip for me yet?" 

Joel huffs. "Not quite."

"Jooooooel," you whine, scooting closer. You hook a leg over his and slide your hand over his stomach, fingers catching on the hair above the waistband of his sleep pants. He makes a noise deep in his throat but otherwise allows it. 

"I ain't givin' you half-assed information," he says. "It'll be worth the wait."

With Joel, it always is. You consider dragging it out a little more but you're cold and tired and he's so warm and you barely saw him at all today. "Alright," you say. You pull yourself even closer under the covers, dragging your nose over the hollow of his throat, his beard a delicious scratch on your skin. Your hand curls around his hip and he reaches for you on instinct, warm, callused palms sliding under your sleep shirt to press into your bare skin.

He huffs a tired laugh, chest rumbling with amusement. "What're you up to?"

"You're warm," you say into his skin.

"And you're handsy."

You trail your lips up to his and press them to the corner of his mouth. "You love it."

"Guess I do," Joel says. He catches you in a lazy, slow kiss, tongue tracing the seam of your lips until you part them. He licks into your mouth like he's got all the time in the world and you let him. His nose presses against yours and you sigh even further into the embrace, pressing as close as you can, as if you could crawl into him and stay there forever. Any cold lingering in your bones is dispelled by Joel's touch, by the thigh he wedges between your legs. This could turn into something more, and you love when it does, but tonight it's just about being close. His hand trails up your side to cup your face as the kisses get lazier, sleepier. You're slotting his bottom lip between yours when he pulls back and --

Yawns in your face. 

He looks a little surprised and then frowns. You laugh and smooth the crease between his brows before kissing him once more.

"Jesus, Joel," you say. "Bedtime."

"Was sleepin' fine before you got here," he grumbles, but  in the same breath he wraps his arm around you and tugs you with him as he turns onto his back so your head lays on his chest. You match your breaths to his. He presses a kiss to your hair.

___

Two nights later you wake to an empty bed. 

You sleepily trail your hand through the sheets and find they still carry Joel's warmth. He must have gotten up a few minutes ago. You force your eyes to open but don't see a light in the bathroom, find no shadow in your eyesight. You can hear his voice in your head saying go back to sleep, s'nothin' but you know better than to listen to him when it comes to this. It's not like you'll be able to until you know he's okay, anyway. 

So you wrap the blanket from the foot of your bed around yourself and shuffle through the house and down the stairs. 

"Joel?" you call quietly. 

"Kitchen," he replies, a warm grumble in the still of the night. You didn't even look at the clock when you got out of bed but it must be late. 

He sits in the dark at your small kitchen table, eyes fixed on Ellie's garage out back. He's put a shirt on. Of course. Nightmare. This is where he always sits after he has one. His hands are wrapped around his mug. Based on the smell it's chamomile tea -- the only time he'll drink it instead of coffee is on nights like tonight. He had no idea it even grew in the greenhouses here until you presented him with a jar of it for Ellie back when you were still tiptoeing around whatever was between you. Those days are long gone.

"You okay?" You keep your voice hushed. It's rare these days that he'll want to be alone. You're the only one who gets to see him like this other than Ellie. It took a while but now Joel lets you comfort him, he lets you hold him together when he needs it. 

He tears his eyes from the window to meet yours, chin tipped up as he gets a good look at you in the dark. 

"M'alright." You take a few more steps into the kitchen and he frowns. "You cold?" He reaches for you with one hand, beckoning you close. You step into his space and he wraps one arm around you, leans his head against your soft stomach. You untangle from the blanket slightly to run your fingers through his hair. The touch is as grounding for him as it is for you.

"What can I do?" you ask him, ignoring his question. 

You can feel the warmth of his palm through the blanket and your sleep shirt. "This is just fine. Just need a minute." 

"You wanna take that minute on the couch?" He grunts his assent and you step back to allow him to get up. He leaves his mug on the table but catches your hand to pull you with him.

Joel sighs when he settles into the worn cushions, knees spread wide and head tipped back as be breathes. He doesn't look any more tired than usual but you can tell he's still holding onto whatever sent him down here. 

You press into his side, legs curled underneath you. His arm settles heavily on across your shoulders and you rest a palm on his knee. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" He turns his head to face you and his nostrils flare as he frowns.

"Nothin' new," he sighs. "A pretty old one, actually. Haven't had it in a while. 'Bout stuff from when we were on the road."

If he wants to say more he will. You don't know what it's like for him to worry about Ellie -- you only know how youworry. Once the sun rises he'll probably trudge over and knock on her door, ask if she wants to go for a ride. She'll complain about being woken up but she'll agree because she knows him, too. She'll see the tension at the edges of his eyes, in the set of his shoulders. There have been nights when you come downstairs to find her sleeping on the couch, too, just because she wanted to be sure he was okay.

You lean your head on his shoulder and breathe with him. He picks up your hand and rubs his thumb across the back of it slowly, as if he doesn't even know he's doing it.

Sleep is a near thing when Joel eventually clears his throat. "I got that gossip for you." His chest rumbles and you perk up, pulling back to look at him. His eyes have a bit more spark, a bit less of the far-away look he had when you came down the stairs. 

"Oh, do you now? Finally?"

"You're just impatient," he says. "Hadn't heard directly from either of 'em so I wasn't sure. But I tracked it down and got it from the source."

"You sound like a detective from one of those old shows. Got it from the source," you say, pitching your voice low and imitating his drawl. 

He manages to look unimpressed. "I don't have to tell you."

"Joel."

"Alright, alright. Well, it's about Wendy and Fred."

You sit up. "The couple that met on your group patrol?" It's something you and Ellie tease him about -- his accidental tendency to play matchmaker. Sometimes he leads group patrols for new folks or younger community members who are now old enough to join the roster. You think he probably enjoys scaring the shit out of them a little but he's also good at it, teaches them well and makes sure they're safe. Around the time you met you'd heard about a couple who met on a patrol and hit it off. It's happened a few more times with Joel's groups but Wendy and Fred are the only ones who have stayed together. 

"Mhm. Word is they're gettin' married."

You gasp. This is very far from what you expected him to tell you. A lot of the gossip you and Joel share is about people breaking up or sleeping together or moving out of Jackson. Sometimes it's petty theft or in-fighting at the council. But this? This is downright romantic.

"Married?" It's not uncommon these days but most people don't bother. But most importantly it means one thing -- there's going to be a party. "We haven't had a wedding in...forever," you say wistfully.

"Been a few years, yeah," Joel agrees. "Folks'll be excited."

"How did you find out?" 

He shifts on the couch a little and you take control of your clasped hands, holding one of his in both of yours as you trace the lines on his palm, the veins that go up his arm while he talks. 

"Heard from one of the guys at the festival that Fred was lookin' for a ring. Wanted to get the word out to some supply runs but without her knowin'. But I wasn't sure, since I hadn't seen him in a while. Then I saw Wendy at the pantry few days ago and she looked real happy. I didn't pry but asked her how things were and she was chipper as hell."

"And that wasn't enough to tell me?"

He squeezes your shoulder. 

"Yesterday Fred cornered me when I was headin' home and told me flat out. Thanked me for some fuckin' reason and said Wendy agreed to marry him. Kid looked like he was gonna throw up, he was so excited."

Joel's voice is warm. "You are such a romantic when you want to be," you tell him.

He smirks. "Heard that before."

"It'll be nice to have a celebration. If we're invited, you're dancing with me again."

"We better fuckin' be invited," he grumbles. "I introduced them."

"So you admit to being a matchmaker?"

He huffs. "Nah," he says, a little softer. "Dumb luck. S'how you get good things these days."

You shift under his arm a little bit. "Maybe," you reply. "I think we've earned a few of those things."

Joel drags a hand down his face. It's a motion that usually means he's chewing on what to say next. You spare him.

"This --" you gesture between the two of you "--and all of this --" you wave your hand at the room, the house "-- is more than I knew I could want. You, this house, that feisty, wonderful girl out back. This whole town. Waking up every morning and not dreading another day on this hellish planet. I didn't know this existed anymore, Joel, let alone that it was possible for me. And I think we've earned it."

He's quiet for a few breaths. "C'mere," he says softly. You don't know exactly what he means but he pulls you into his lap so you're straddling him, his arm firm around your hips. It could be a heated position, often is, but here it's just to be close. You catch yourself on his shoulders and drag your hands up to his cheeks. You hold his face in your hands, thumbs stroking the soft, forever-bruised skin under his eyes.

"You sure got a way with words," he says thickly, gaze heavy. "Don't know what I did to deserve this but I ain't gonna question it."

You wrap your arms around him and properly embrace him. He presses his palms to your back and hooks his chin over your shoulder. Your breathing syncs up and you swear your heartbeats do, too. Your whole body, your whole being tuned itself to Joel a long time ago. You'd do everything you've done twice over to get here. 

As if he hears the desperate devotion of your thoughts, Joel pulls back so he can lean up for a kiss. It's more intense than you expected it to be, like he's trying to tell you something with the press of his mouth. You know what he's trying to tell you -- you always do. Joel is better at showing you how he feels than telling you. 

He suckles your lower lip and you tug on the hair at the nape of his neck. He makes a noise low in his throat and you swallow it. You could touch him forever and never get enough. The firm planes of his back, the knot of tension always present in his shoulders. The scratch of his beard, the press of his nose against yours. You want to stitch yourself to him so that you never have to let go.

"S'your turn," Joel grumbles against your lips, pulling back to catch his breath.

Your brain is a little fuzzy. "Hm?"

"For somethin' juicy." 

It's a funny word coming from his mouth and it makes you laugh. His arms tighten around you and he drags his nose down your neck and breathes deep. You can get some gossip for him. You'd do much worse without being asked. Sometimes you think there are no limits to what you'd do for this man. It's a big thought, a dangerous thought, one that's suited to the world you live in now. You don't mind it.

"I'll get you something good, Joel Miller. I promise."

"I know you will," he says. "I trust you."

thank you for reading <3 reblog, send feedback, general masterlist here!

[brewed-pangolin]

Drunk Text

Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish x Fem Reader

18+ MDNI: Sexual themes.

Synopsis: You send Johnny a drunk text. It ends with a cop at your front door. (I'm teasing you all before the smut hits the literal fan). Unedited because I'm having way too much fun.

"You up?"

You press 'send'. Thumbs leisurely fumbling over the screen as your vision blurs and mind spins in a concoction of intoxicants.

You were sluggishly writing another message when he responds.

"Aye.

"Where are you?"

You question his inquiry for a moment. Eyes glazed and glancing up at the time on the screen.

2:36am.

Dammit.

"O'Reilly's."

He doesn't respond right away. But you can hear his deep brogue in your mind. Most definitely a stunned yet slightly intrigued 'Steamin' Jesus' escaping his lips.

"Need a ride?"

He's such a gentleman. Always has been. Yet with the sweet ethanol coursing through your veins and clouding your judgement, you couldn't help but give into your fiery and animalistic needs.

"You gonna be my saddle?

Again. No response.

After a few drowned out and muffled moments, his caller ID image popped up on the screen. Your lips curled into a devilish smile, swiping without hesitation to answer the call.

"Hi, Johnny.." You answer. Words slightly slurred. Languidly meandering together and your voice husky with an aire of whiskey fueled confidence.

"Yer a dirty little minx, y'know that?"

"What? You offered me a ride."

"Aye. I did."

There was a slight pause in your thoughts. Overtaken by the cacophony of sounds around you as your mind spiraled into a realm of provocative images.

"Well? Can I get a ride?"

He responded immediately with a rumbling growl. Even with the music blaring and sea of voices behind you, your ears easily picked up the subtle arousal bubbling within his throaty timbre.

"Be there in ten minutes."

You chase your victory with another shot. Hanging up with a triumphant slam of the glass on the bar as you close out your tab and walk out to wait for your drunken trophy at the front of the bar.

Two hours later, you were standing in the doorway of your apartment. Repeatedly apologizing to the officer in the hall and reassuring him there was most certainly not an altercation going on.

"I am so sorry, officer. Believe me, there's nothing going on."

You wrap the knitted blanket tightly around your chest and underneath your arms. Shielding your apparent nudity while the officer looks at you with a slightly gregarious grin.

"Just keep it down, ma'am."

"Yes, sir."

You both turn and part ways. He disappearing down the hall as you close the door and immediately march back into your bedroom.

And you can't help the sly grin curling into your lips as your eyes take in his overly confident expression. His hands resting behind his head, his muscular torso expanding as he takes in the sight of you.

"Oh, you're gonna pay for that, Johnny." You tease. The blanket around you effortlessly falling to the floor as your eyes lock into his dark and hungry gaze.

"Mmm. I'm countin' on it, bonnie."

If there was one thing that rang true that night, it was that your neighbors wouldn't get a moments rest. Because you were too busy riding a Scotsman like a whiskey possessed cowgirl.

The rodeo had definitely come into town.

(Omg, this last line is so stupid. But I had to.)

Part 2?

Drabbles Masterlist

@deadbranch @d3athtr4psworld @punishmepunisher @sofasoap @jynxmirage @homicidal-slvt @obligatoryghoststare @glitterypirateduck @kkaaaagt @mykneeshurt @shotmrmiller @astraluminaaa @macravishedbymactavish @haurasha

[mysteryshoptls]

SSR Epel Felmier - Club Wear Voice Lines

When Summoned: If ya think you can stop my shot, then try stoppin' it!

Summon Line: Once we're out on the field, seniority don't mean a thing! I'm gonna fight for a starting spot on the team!

Groooovy!!: Haah, haah... Don't care how hard it gets, I ain't ever givin' up. We'll definitely win!

Home: Better not underestimate me.

Home Idle 1: Back when I first joined the club, no one took me seriously, but ever since I blocked a shot with my face during one of our matches, I think everyone sees me in a different light.

Home Idle 2: I think I'll make some Harveston honeyed apples for our next match. That'll definitely be tastier than lemons!

Home Idle 3: Even after a rough day of practicin', all us first years hafta put away all the equipment... Maaan, I wish I wasn't a freshman.

Home Idle - Login: I used to always hope to play Magical Shift someday, ya know. It's just so awesome to be able to clench victory together alongside the team!

Home Idle - Groovy: I want to practice shooting the disc, but it's such a pain having to go grab it after each throw... Oh man, if only there was someone who could lend me a hand～

Home Tap 1: Leona-san's advice is always so spot on! Just wish he'd show up to practice more to see how I'm working on everything.

Home Tap 2: Ruggie-san's passes usually come out of nowhere, which keeps us on our toes. I've run into the disc a buncha times during practice 'cause of that.

Home Tap 3: I always wear goggles when flying to keep the wind and dust clouds outta my eyes. Just wearin' it gets me pumped up. I look so cool with these on!

Home Tap 4: Back home, I'd help pick the apples by flyin' up on a broom. Maybe all that weaving through the tree branches is comin' in handy for Magical Shift.

Home Tap 5: Eh? I have a sunburn!? Oh no, and Vil-san was telling me I need to be careful while practicing outdoors...!

Home Tap - Groovy: I gotta learn to stay calm even if I get hit with the worst foul during a game. Can you smack talk me a little so I can practice?

Duo: [EPEL]: I got a plan in mind, Ruggie-san! [RUGGIE]: Countin' on ya, Epel-kun!

Requested by @amourteddyst.

[081314]

Epel Felmier - Clubwear (Voice Lines)

Following is my translation of Epel's voice lines for his clubwear card.

Spoilers after the cut.

Summon

��: What, you really think you can block me? Go ahead and try!

🍎: Soon as we hit the court, doesn't matter anymore if you're a junior or a senior or whatever! And I don't wanna stay benched forever, so it's time to go hard or go home!

Home Lines

🍎: You really shouldn't underestimate me.

🍎: I remember when I first joined the team, the other players really looked down on me. But ever since I pulled off a header during a match, it's kinda like they all see me in a whole new light now.

🍎: I'm gonna use some apples I got sent over from Harveston and pickle 'em with honey for our next match. They taste a whole lot better than honeyed lemons.

🍎: Us first years always gotta stay behind after practice and clean up. *sigh* I'm jealous of the seniors.

🍎: I've been dreaming of becoming a spelldrive player for years now. Scoring a win with your teammates is like the best feeling ever.

🍎: I wanna practice making shots, but it really sucks having to go and get the disk each time. Boy, I suuuure do wish I knew somebody who could help me out!

🍎: Leona-san's advice is always right on the mark. I just wish he'd join in on practice more and check our technique and stuff.

🍎: It's really hard trying to predict whenever Ruggie-san's gonna make a pass. I've been whacked by disks more times than I can count during practice.

🍎: We wear these goggles to protect our eyes from the wind and grit flying around when we're up in the air. Honestly, just putting them on gets me all fired up. They're really cool, dontcha think?

🍎: Back home, I'd hop on my broom and fly around picking apples. I got a lotta good practice ducking between branches and stuff, so maybe that's helped me with playing spelldrive.

🍎: Huh? I got a sunburn!? Noooo… And Vil-san told me to be careful when practicing outside…

🍎: I gotta make sure I stay calm whenever somebody breaks the rules. Could you maybe bad mouth me, as like a test?

Groovy

🍎: Haaah, haaah… I don't care how hard it gets, I'm never gonna give up. We're gonna win this thing, just you watch!

Duo

🍎: I got an idea, Ruggie-san!

🍩: I'm countin' on ya, Epel-kun!

[celebtf]

Mysterio's new Trip

As Mysterio tumbled through the air, his mind raced with a whirlwind of emotions. Fear, anger, and frustration mixed together as he fell towards the unforgiving ground below. His grand plans had crumbled beneath him, shattered by the relentless determination of Spider-Man.

As Mysterio fell down in to the water, everything went black and the cold water hit him from the back, he let out a big grunt. It was so cold, it was really freezing. Mysterio thought to himself that if he survived this he would seek his revange on The Avengers. Mostly Spiderman, it was Spiderman that had ruined everything for him. Mysterio had the money, the fame, everything, even the girls and boys after him and that stupid kid had to ruin everything.

Mysterio could feel himself lifting up from the water and over the city, he could feel the coldness from the wind brushing against his wet cold skin.

" Hey, wake up, hello " Mysterio felt a kick, he was alive. He slowly opened his eyes and saw a man standing over him. The man was tall and not the most muscular man but probably could hit hard, the man was dressed in green, alot of green and had long black hair, in his and he was holding something that probably could be used as a weapon.

" So you're finally awake, thank god, I didn't know what I would do otherwise, throw you out in space " Mysterio didn't notice that he weren't on earth.

" Loki " Mysterio rolled his eyes when he saw that Loki was the one that had saved him. " Happy to see you too" Loki just laughed and started to walk around in the room.

" I saw you crash into the water, I did you a favour, atleast give me a thank you " Mysterio countined to roll his eyes. " So I heard you wanted to take down The Avengers, I can help you with that, but I need a favour back Ofcourse "

Mysterio was sceptical and started to think to himself, how could Loki help him?

" Ah, Mysterio, my dear friend. I require your unique talents for a little scheme of mine." Old friend? Mysterio looked at Loki with a stare.

Loki took his staff and started to swing it in the room the same time as he startes to chant something. A green haze started to full up the room, and Mysterio started to lose sign of Loki.

Mysterio felt a crack in his back and fell down on the ground. His legs started to grow muscles and and his boots started to torn up and his feets bust out. Mysterio's thighs started to grow to, a lot and his stomach formed a new set of abs, a hard and better sixpack, Mysterio was in shock and fasinated over this change, his ass got fuller too, it became big and bubbly. Mysterio's new arms started go get muscular and big and he started to feel his jaw get sharpened, his cheekbones got rounder and his eyes started to sting, his Hair came undone and started to bleach.

" Loki.. what are you doing to me "

" Let's get your new uniform.. Captain "

Loki showed me my new reflection, and I have to admit.. I looked good. I was so strong and handsome and tall, I was till before but now I'm even taller.

" So I can see that you like it, Captian " Loki looked at me and I smiled and told him him how much I liked it and that I was very greatful.

So what's the plan Loki, how am I going to take down The Avengers? I was walking around Loki's places to test the limits in Captains body.

" Leave that up to me, just follow and we will get what we want"

Suddenly I was the Green smoke again and Loki was gone.

" Thor and Captian.. I mean you and me are going to be good partners "

[goofyaahhhhhh]

i offer a PunkFlower doodle with a hc

Hobie really likes Miles' freckles.. and he calls them stars. he likes to kiss and count em and stuff. whenever miles asks what he's doin he just goes "i'm countin the stars.." 🤲

[deathkidz]

MY SWEETHEART | CHOSO KAMO

edging, fingering and teasing? not an actual smut I think he also calls reader princess in this so yeah

just some hc's about sweetheart Choso, made this because of this post. This might not be really good because this is just a lil sum sum fr, but anyways tagging mula because she's crazy for Choso @chosoguapo - ₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎

Sweet heart choso ! who's buff and tall, making him look intimidating, but he's quiet and awkward. but once you get to know him he's a sweetheart <3

Sweet heart choso ! who began to develop a crush on you throughout the relationship and decided to tell you about his feelings, and surprisingly you felt the same way.

Sweet heart choso ! who is now your boyfriend and gives you princess treatment 24/7. Taking you out on dates, cooking for you, spoiling you with gifts, and spending his money on you. . what a sweetheart <3

Sweet heart choso ! who litters your neck with hickeys and covers your face with his kisses; praising you, telling you how beautiful you are and how he's the luckiest man in the world.

Sweet heart choso ! Who's quiet and awkward but can easily wreck you.

Sweet heart choso ! who isn't a sweetheart today :( teasing and edging you, his tongue running along your pussy, circling it with slow strokes. He's been doing this for hours and he knows you're getting sick of him.

"You're mean" he replaces his tongue with two of his fingers and thrusted in and out of you, "no? I'm only pleasing my princess" he tilted his head and smirked.

"no you're teasing. . ." you whined, you were overstimulated and just wanted to cum. "so stop and lemme cum. ." You said in a demanding tone, a tone in which he didn't like.

Choso chuckled and shook his head "I was gonna but now that you've said that now I'm not" he moves his fingers inside of you more intense, thrusting them in and out as he rubs your clit with his thumb.

You moaned and regretted what you did."wait no no no no I'm sorry" you cry out, a moan escaping your mouth after. "please Choso. . ." you close your eyes from the pleasure; feeling close.

He felt your body tightening and flexing around him, he knows your close. "Wanna cum?" He whispers.

You eagerly nodded, his fingers continuing to thrust in and out of you. "mmm no. . . not yet" he whispered "not till you ask in a nicer way"

Tears ran down your face, since when was Choso so mean? you were used to getting princess treatment not. . . this.

Not caring, he countined thrusting his fingers at a faster pace; your moans growing louder and louder due to the pleasure. "oh fuck fuck fuck" you threw your head back "please please please" you sob out.

His hand squeezes and pinches your clit between his fingers, alternating between soft, gentle touches and hard squeezes. he leaned close to you, using his other hand to lightly tap your cheek "look at me".

As he requested you opened your eyes and looked at him, your mouth slightly open as you moaned. his eyes wondered your face, then finally locked with yours "wanna cum? you're close so I know you want to" he whispered. "mhm. . . please" you looked at him with watery eyes, "come for me princess" he went over to kiss your neck.

"oh shit" you whined out, your eyes quickly shut as you made a mess on his fingers. Loud moans leaving your mouth along with choso's name. He pulled out his fingers so you could see the mess you made on his fingers "look" while catching your breath you open your eyes and see his fingers being covered in your sticky mess.

Your face quickly heated up but before you could say anything he stuck his two fingers in your mouth "c'mon lick em clean for me" and as he demanded you licked your mess off of his fingers.

He pulled his fingers out of your mouth and gave you a quick kiss on the lips, "want more?" He asked, he knew you wanted more he just wanted to hear you say it yourself.

You slowly nodded "yes.." He smiled and pulled you closer to him "Good" he took off his boxers, exposing his hard dick; pre-cum on his tip. He takes his cock and teases your entrance, running it along the slit as you moan out in anticipation.

"cause im gonna ruin you " he lets out a grunt as he enters you, pushing your legs up close to your chest and stretching you open. "But don't worry cause you'll feel real good princess"

[joshlmbrt]

Another Gator request because I simply can't get enough 😌

Some guy won't take no for an answer but instead of Gator pulling the "I'm a sheriff's deputy" card and running him off, he just decides to pretend like he's your boyfriend until the guy finally takes the hint.

Could possibly be seen as a part 2 to I Owe You, but it could work great on it's own with however you'd like it to go.💖

Saved Twice. ( g. tillman x reader )

【𝜗𝜚 warnings; again, gator if you don’t like him!!!, some gross dude flirting with you and touching you, gator pulling the ‘i’m a cop’ card, short! can be read as a standalone - but is kind of like a part two. link here if you’d like to read it as a two part!

【𝜗𝜚 an; thank you for the request!!! im sorry it took so long!!! but i hope you enjoy

FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA.

“Come on! Just one round of pool, then I’ll leave ya alone, sweet thing.”

Your nose scrunches as you shake your head. “I’m sorry, darlin’, but I can’t,” You motion towards the waiting customers. “I got a lot of people to take care of! I’m sure you’ll find a nice lady!”

Darren, the man that had not stopped bugging you ever since he stepped into the bar, was a guy who always came into the bar already plastered.

Usually you could keep a distance, but for some reason, you couldn’t tonight.

“Aw, doll face, come on,” He slurs. He then leans closer, a smell of whiskey coming off in waves making you almost gag. “I’ll give you a big tip.” He grins.

You open your mouth to speak but someone is already doing that for you.

“I think the lady said no,” A bar stool is being pulled out next to the drunk and Gator sits down. “Is there a reason why you’re not takin’ that answer?” He lifts a brow.

“Move along, boy. I’m not talkin’ to you,” He grumbles, turning himself back to you, a hand touching your arm. You yank your arm away. “Uptight, hm?”

Your face scrunches in disgust again.

“I wouldn’t keep talkin’ if I were you.” Gator shakes his head.

The man grumbles to himself before humoring Gator. “Why is that?”

Gator smirks, eyes trailing down the man before back up. “I’m the law,” The man’s eyes widen a fraction. “I can take you in right now. . .” Gator looks at you. “Public indecency? What do you say, honey?”

Darren turns to you, color draining from his face. You consider it, a lie to get him locked up at least for a bit, but ultimately decide against it.

“Maybe next time. . . If there is a next time.” Gator nods, turning to stare at Darren.

“Well?” He snaps.

The man flinches and looks over at him. “Wh-what?” He gulps.

“Will there be a next time?”

“No. . . No, I can’t- I can’t get arrested. My wife will kill me!” He stands, although stumbling on his feet.

Gator rolls his eyes, turning towards you. “You okay, honey?”

You lean on the bar, humming. “Better now that you’re here. That makes. . . what? Two times saving me?”

“Who’s countin’?” He shrugs, a small smirk on his lips. “What do I get for it?”

“A kiss?”

“That would work.” You grin and lean closer. “You got it, Tillman.”

【𝜗𝜚 thank you for reading! comments, likes, feedback, & reblogs are encouraged, welcomed, & deeply appreciated!