a post dump of some sad/upsetting headcanons tonight because i don't know how to actually make a post for them in a way that isn't just dumping them here like this & some of them are a bit old-
been a long time headcanon of mine that y2kvr Benrey has claustrophobia and a fear of the dark, his worst fear is waking up back in the computer. sometimes he'll have weeks at a time where he can't even go near the computer let alone go into it. the worst feeling is when a day is going so great and its all fun and well a little too well the fear he'll suddenly see a pop-up appear in front of him and realise hes still trapped somewhere in the web.
have you ever seen an ai have a nightmare??
occasionally Doc (& this also goes for Dr Hypnos) feels like she isn't where she is, she'll feel like shes at a different point in time in different circumstances and situations, often it isn't too bad- it messes with her head a bit and makes him feel like hes a few weeks or months or even years behind but with his mix of bad time management and living in a secret lab where he usually doesn't see the sun it doesn't much matter to them,, but the worst time he had to deal with it was the entire time while his family was dead. while he was alone he would often find himself losing track of time to a point days would pass and he wouldn't know, she would think she was elsewhere and occasionally think "right i have to go get parts for Harold today i was told to-" or "OH [ ] would LOVE this!" before realising where he is and that he hasn't had to get parts in months and he hasn't seen his family in longer. sometimes he'll forget
Sleepless sometimes gets scared the Mad Science Team only keeps zem around since Doc likes them, in times like this they'll avoid talking directly to Harold or Bubby in case ze says the wrong thing.
Malcom has had times of feeling that he can never fully recover from his actions- he was an asshole once, what if he still is deep down and he doesn't know? what if everyone still sees him as an asshole and he can never fully be more than what he had been?
i doubt i have enough fingers to count how many of them suffer the feeling of "i can never reedem myself from [insert crime/event here]" and i have 3 arms(/j)
Swap is scared of sirens and alarms and garage doors
Freemans memory still isn't perfect, it will never be as good as it had been- his memory was always been not the greatest (partly because he has adhd/tism) but after the events with Tron Gman his memory will forever be a bit patchy. and his time as Storyteller DID NOT do the poor guy any favors.
all of the Admins have gone to check that Freeman is still there in the middle of the night at least once, its happened most with either Boss or C where they've either been laying awake all night or woken up and gone to check that Freeman is still safely asleep, theres still the occasional WORST night where even AFTER knowing Freeman is safe would continue to wander around for a bit and make sure there was absolutely no way that anyone could get in and take him.
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
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Hello, don't mind me, I just need to vent for a second.
First off, I just wanna say, as an aroace person on the ace-spectrum, feel free to ship Alastor all you want. Ship him with anyone. Have fun with it. Sex repulsed. Non-sex repulsed. Grey-ace. Demisexual. Pure unadulterated smut. Whatever, have at it. I love that shit.
Just please do it without infantilizing ace-aro people.
The amount of art, fics, and takes I've come across that's so patronizing to Alastor and his sexuality. Thing's like Alastor venting to Rosie about his feelings for a character with the caption "Alastor feeling love for the first time." Or Alastor wanting to have sex with a character and having feelings about that, and someone commenting "That's called a boner, sweetheart. That means you like them 🤭"
Like??? Like do ya'll not see how patronizing that sounds? Being ace-aro doesn't mean you don't know your own body. It doesn't mean you don't understand the functions of your body.
It doesn't mean you've never experienced intense emotions. It doesn't mean you've never experienced love before.
And, look, I know these are meant to be jokes. I know. People are joking. I laughed at the first few I came across, too. It's not meant to be harmful or condescending; no one means it that way. But there's been so much with such...bad takes recently, and I don't know about any other ace-spec people (I don't speak for all ace-specs. Hell, there are probably other ace-spec's who don't mind, enjoy it, or are making content like it themselves. I just speak for myself) but GOD it's getting uncomfortable.
Alastor is in his late 30's-early 40's in human years. That is the established age range we have for him. Do you really think that he'd go that long without ever experiencing "love?" He went through puberty just like everyone else, do you think he doesn't understand his own body???
Being asexual, or sex-repulsed, or touch-repulsed doesn't mean you automatically don't explore these parts of yourself. It doesn't mean he's never, once in his life, touched his own dick, or pussy, or whatever genitalia you're giving him. He can still very well be a "virgin" (which in and of itself is a social construct) while also knowing his body and confidently handling any "sexual needs" he has.
Do you really think he doesn't know what a boner is? That in all the years he's been alive and dead (on Earth and in Hell), he wouldn't have experienced these things once? (And you know what? Maybe he hasn't! Perhaps there are ace's out there like that! But you're telling me he doesn't KNOW what that is??? Really???)
Ah, no, it's all because he just hasn't found the right person yet, right? It's not until Lucifer/Angel Dust/Vox, whoever found him, and they gave him these feelings, and oh no, poor Bambi is feeling twitterpated and horny for the first time, isn't that romantic!
Honestly, not really. It just sounds like the same, stupid shit ace-aro people hear from family, friends, and acquaintances about their sexuality. You know, the tried and true: "Oh, you just haven't found the right person yet. You'll want all that eventually, you'll see😊"
Do you not see how frustrating that is?
Look, I am all down for Alastor exploring parts of himself. I want him to navigate different relationships, feel them out, figure out what kind of relationship he wants and what he's okay and not okay with doing. But there are ways to do that without treating him like a little UwU silly baby boy who doesn't know his own body, or his own emotions, or his own relationships with other characters. Like he needs someone to teach him about himself.
How about instead, he finds someone he feels comfortable exploring these elements with? Instead of them "teaching" him how to fuck, or masturbate, or whatever the hell you want to call it, they're giving him the room and safe-space to explore it at his own pace??!!
It comes across as someone who isn't on the ace-spectrum "teaching" an ace-spec character about their own sexuality which puts such a gross taste in my mouth. Or, at least, that's how it comes across to me.
And the thing is, I know people aren't going to stop. I know they're going to keep infantilizing Alastor and his aro-ace identity, and I wasn't originally going to make this post, because you can't control what people do in fandom.
So this is mostly just a post to say: HEY! Hello! Ace-aro person here! I hope you all are having fun and I love that you're exploring Alastor's asexual/aromantic identity! Especially those who may not be in the ace-spectrum themselves, as you're learning about us and our experiences! That's awesome! Can we just do that while also treating Alastor like the adult he is? Can we do that without being infantilizing and patronizing about his sexual identity? Please?"
That's all I really wanted to say. I just needed to get this off my chest instead of letting it fester. This isn't an attack on anyone, this is just the perspective of an Alastor multi-shipper who loves exploring his relationships with other characters (sexually and non-sexually) and deep-diving into the dynamics of the show.
Thanks for reading.
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