#i'm sorry for the rant and all that emotional bullshit but I really needed to vent

[fanficsforheartandsoul]

SPOILERS IN THIS POST FOR THE GAME CYBERPUNK 2077 AND IT'S ANIMATED SERIES EDGERUNNERS

Ok so I heard I Really Want to Stay at Your House from Cyberpunk Edgerunners on Tiktok before I even watched the series. I liked it so much that I downloaded it to my Spotify favorites.

This weekend I watched Edgerunners. When that song played in the last episode I was DEVASTATED. LITERALLY. I cried so hard the last 10 minutes like just full on sobbing.

Since then I have listened to this song nonstop and I kid you not today when I took the bus home I ALMOST TEARED UP BECAUSE FUCK MY LIFE, THIS SERIES MESSED ME UP BAD.

"You're not special."

This message rings in my head when I think of Edgerunners and it's fucking with me. Because I know this feeling. This sentiment of "oh no, I'm different, I'm not gonna do x or get addicted to y." And then BAM.

Turns out you are doing x already and got addicted to y.

Just like David Legend Martinez. My man didn't get the happy ending he deserved. Neither did any of the characters.

This whole show punched me in the gut and left me in the gutter (haha wordplay) and I dunno if I ever recover.

I'm probably over emotional because of other real life stuff but when I tell you I stayed up all Sunday night to read fanfiction to find some comfort, I'm not lying.

It's funny because I'm writing and reading x reader stories to portray myself as special. Whether that be for someone specific or the whole world. I need that feeling of "oh, I'm important to someone, I'm special and not completely worthless."

That's why I like most stories with an overpowered reader (as long as Y/N suffers a helluva lot as well but what that actually means for my psyche should be left in pandora's box) because I need to be special at least in my imagination. Edgerunners really opened my eyes in that regard. I knew immediately from the moment when Maine went down the cyberpsycho route that David would end up dead like him and yet I still hoped he would overcome it. He's the main character, he can't die like that. He won't, he's special!

Haha yeah nope.

The show really made me realize why I always want my y/ns to be jedi shadows, witchers, dragons, zombies, siths etc. and why I prefer these types of fantasy related backgrounds over coffee shop AUs and other real life stories and I dunno what to do with this information.

Doubled with me accidentally spoiling some of the endings of Cyberpunk 2077, I'm emotionally at my end.

I watched a youtube video about the ending where V decides to unalive himself/herself instead of dealing with whatever shitshow is going on (I have yet to play the game, I'm literally still at the beginning because I couldn't recover from Jackie's death haha🥲) and I didn't need that in my life. I'm too busy to cry about fictional characters but I guess this is my punishment for being emotionally attached to FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GOD FUCKING DAMMIT-

[potol0ver]

Howdy pardner 🤠🐴

You said you were begging for a request for Erik to worship someone. I don’t know if you’re doing specific requests, but here’s one if you’re up for it:

Musical!Erik x Y/N

Erik had a really rough day dealing with the manager’s bullshit or smthn like that. Y/N comes down to visit him, and sees how upset he is. They ask what they can do to help him, and after collecting himself, he half-smiles.

“You can let me admire you~” He then proceeds to thoroughly kiss and praise and tease Y/N (consensually) as a stress-reliever and a way to redirect his emotions.

#LetThisManGetWhippedForHisS/O

- Yeehaw Anon 🐴

OH HELL YES- i love this idea. Also im leaving this one open ended at the end to keep it GN, don’t worry i have a smut prompt waiting for me to write it so if you want direct smut it’ll be out sometime this week most likely <3

Tags; Soft dom Erik x GN Reader, suggestive towards the end, fluffy, simi smut, Erik being obsessed with you, chest play (not said to have boobs though), short and sweet

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of Erik’s organ rang through the catacombs as you walked down to his lair. You knew the rehearsal went wrong but you didn’t expect it to go so wrong he’d be hitting his organ keys this hard. Breathing in and sighing you finally made it to Erik’s abode and well… he looked pissed. His wig and mask were off, and playing the organ while standing.

Walking closer you practically tell his name so he could hear you. Once he did hear you he whipped his head towards you with an angry expression that quickly softened seeing you there. Defeated he plopped down on his organs bench and placed his head in his hands.

“You have no idea how bad today went,” he said with a slight roughness to his voice, almost like his voice was sore from yelling, “Carlotta wouldn’t take the advice from the conductor, and by doing that sabotaging the rehearsal,” you stood beside him now placing a hand in his back as he ranted, “the ballet dancers were supposed to try out a new routine but since Madame Giry had family matters to attend to the ballet dancers looked like they had two left feet, and the prop people were too drunk to do anything on cue, it was a shit show.”

Holding back a laugh at his word choice, you just sigh and console him. “That truly does sound like a shit show, I'm sorry that happened my love. Especially Carlotta, my spine has chills just thinking about what she sounded like, and not in a good way.” Erik gives a slight chuckle as you sit on the bench next to him. “Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”

Sitting up Erik looked at you with eyes and asked “Can we snuggle please?”

“Of course my love,” quickly standing up you lead Erik by his hand to the bed. Once you got to the bed you laid down, he followed by climbing in next to you and holding you close burying his face into your neck. Slowly rubbing circles unto his back he slowly started to melt into you, finally relaxing.

You were about to fall asleep when he started to kiss your neck. “Erik, you should be relaxing.”

“Please, I need to worship you right now,” he begged into your neck as he started to put his hands under your clothes. Given you always got flustered when he paid attention to you like this, you could only muster up a nod. Soon enough his hands started to undo your clothing, all while his kisses on your neck never stopped.

Once your chest was exposed fully to him, he gently started to massage your chest. You couldn't help but let out some small whines as Erik kissed his way down to your nipple and popped it into his mouth. Gently rolling it with his tongue, his hands worked on getting your lower half naked too.

Once your whole body was exposed to him, Erik just gently ghosted his hands over your thighs to your waist and back down again. As much as you loved this you needed more, your hips slightly rolled trying to gain any friction they can. “Please Erik, stop teasing me.”

“No no, please, please let me bask in you. You feel divine.” he whined against your chest, barely letting your nipple go when he begged. You could tell tonight was going to be a long night for you.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I saw your ATSV reaction post and wanted to chime in a little about Miguel and Spiderman 2099. Because I love him but also your reaction to him is 100% correct, and I am also lowkey mad about people jumping straight to 'he did nothing wrong'-ing/fetishizing him.

Like, Miguel is trying his best (as Spiderman) but he's not a nice person! His arrogance and hot temper are major tenets of his character. His comics run is Mostly him fucking up his interpersonal relationships, finding out new horrible layers to the bad things that happen/ed to him, and then reacting poorly to those things (then dying) (he got better). I thought it was actually very fun of Sony to make him the Spider Society guy because he's the last person I would put in charge of anything. Like there's some fun commentary to be made on the fact that Miguel's canon lore also very much does not line up with the average Spiderman's backstory, while he's being written as placing himself in a position to act as arbiter-of-Spider-People, when he only Became a Spiderperson himself as part of a cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

(Be a corporate genetic engineer in the Horrid Capitalist Future -> trying to make A Spider-Man -> first human test goes horribly because your evil boss won't listen to you about the feasibility of your work -> try and quit via emotional outburst -> your boss gets you secretly addicted to illegal future drugs that are 100% addictive because they bond to your DNA or some nonsense -> your boss blackmails you into continuing to work on the person-melting Build-A-Spiderman genetics machine -> you decide to use the genetics machine to reset your DNA to before you were addicted to genetics-altering drugs -> your jealous co-worker sets the machine to give you 50% spider DNA instead -> you are mutated into a Horrid Spider Man -> you react to his by trying to kill yourself -> you live because your bullshit spider mutations save you -> all this and your drug addiction isn't even cured -> have the revelation that Capitalism Is Bad -> later find out your evil boss is also your dad)

It's unfortunately 100% in character for him to react to being happy and then incidentally destroying his own happiness (which, I have seen some wild takes about the whole 'replaced himself in another dimension' thing, but let's be real Miguel doesn't think he Deserves to be happy, so it was probably a BIT more complicated than him just being like 'hey free AU') by aggressively trying to police the multiverse because he's unfortunately a genius and also unfortunately just incredibly angry and aggressive and fueled by his own deep self-loathing and guilt.

Which is a long-winded way of getting around to the fact that Miguel using cult tactics on the Spiderpeople is because Miguel is using cult tactics on Himself to justify his actions (to himself) as part of (get this) a further cascade of Reacting Poorly To Things.

I'm personally still staggered by the fact that they made Miguel the Spider Society guy, like, I am really hoping this pans out in BTSV because, yes, Miguel has a storyline about messing around with the timeline, but that was Time not Dimensions, so I do want there to be a reason beyond 'who is the most maladjusted and traumatized and ill-tempered Spiderperson to be our antagonistic authority figure?'

Sorry this got long but ATSV has really unlocked new depths of hell for me in terms of 'niche comics character that doesn't get much attention now suddenly getting lots of attention'. I want to talk about my little guy but also my little guy needs to be appropriately contextualized and not belt-sanded into a dreaded fandom archetype.

god there's nothing I love more than a rant off a comic book fan whose little guy is being interpreted wrong. I spend most of my time in DC spaces so getting to reach across the aisle with empathy to a Marvel dude feels great, really bringing people together.

[scooter-ing]

another silly rant.. . but this time its NOT about wenclair??

jesus, i just rewatched little witch academia after YEARS, and the pure sapphic energy radiating from that show is craaaazy yo. (heed my spoiler warning for lwa)

yeah so.. diakko. kay. now that that's out of the way

i actually loved akko's character as a whole, as ambitious and stupid as she is, i can totally see some of myself in her. i never saw her as a selfish person, i feel like she always considered and appreciated those around her. every time she cried and demeaned herself (especially in the second half of the show) i was like "poor baby" bc she really didn't deserve it. sure, was she a tad bit impulsive? yeah. but her character is meant to be easily swayed and convinced. like how croix convinced her to go to the wagandea tree, and literally gaslighted her into thinking she shouldn't trust chariot (ursula). as a character though, she really, truly, just tries to help people and i think you rarely see characters that are as pure as that, you know? her dream is to make people happy, not some bullshit like being the strongest witch, or obtaining some kind of object. she just aspires to fill people's hearts with joy, and her intentions are set with that only. and she tries, and tries, and tries, despite people's discouragement. so every time she cried, i cried with her. sigh.

moving on to ursula, otherwise known as chariot. i loved her older sister-mentor role. akko definitely needed someone that would keep her in line, but also encourage her in her endeavors and keep her safe. my girl was ALWAYS there to save the day (and by gOD she was so fucking hot whenever she was fighting croix). ughhh i literally groaned out loud every time she got interrupted when she was trying to tell akko about her identity. idk, i kind of have mixed feelings about the dream fuel spirit shebang. cause, chariot had NO idea it was stopping people from being able to use magic, so it wasn't really her fault. croix manipulated her. and once she found out about that, she stopped using it. im glad croix had somewhat of a redemption, but jesus she was such an asshole when she revealed that ursula was chariot. like, a royal asshole. bc that was not her secret to reveal, you know? and she left some very important pointers on the table. though, i felt terrible for akko.

mmmm. diaaaaaaaaana. diana cavendish. i had a massive lesbian crush on her for the whole fucking series. oh my god. especially in the two-part episodes where it's set in the cavendish estate? so, so, chivalrous, and dashing, and royal... and skdjhfskjlhf (totally referencing that one scene where diana defends akko infront of aunt daryl and offers her arm for akko to hold). poor akko, oblivious to like... all of the massive lesbian signals wafting from diana. she literally had big neon signs that said "akko you fucking idiot im gay for you."

all jokes (and thirsting) aside, diana and akko's growth as a pair is really touching to me. diana was never outright rude to her bc of her inability to properly use magic, i saw that she was more judgmental of her character as a person instead. (e.g the samhain festival episode in which she calls akko pathetic for "leaving" lotte and sucy before her performance). and i can totally see that it was reasonable. later in the episode, after akko finds the second Word or whatever, she goes on to think, "what is this emotion i'm feeling?" as much as i would want it to, i wouldn't say she was in love at that time, considering her harsh judgment earlier in the episode, but akko continues to grow on her from then on. i haven't mentioned this yet, but the episode (sorry that i keep saying "that episode" the site that i watched it on didn't have episode names) in which the faeries ordered a strike against the witches, was actually less goofy and funny than it was made to be. akko really took time to understand where the workers were coming from, and being their representative was really thoughtful? when diana came to tell her off, she deadass started making fun of her bc shes an aristocrat. and telling her she doesn't understand the woes of the working class bc of her wealth. which is just... so... real? and diana gets all flustered, which leads me into the topic of:

Diana Literally Only Blushed Because of Akko. she just gets all flustered when akko calls her out on her shit, like she's not afraid of her. everyone else is. even the godforsaken teachers are. she only ever truly worried whenever akko was hurt, or in some form of danger. she completely remains indifferent to everything, even when things happen to hannah or barbara she really doesn't give a shit. (at least not in the way she does with akko, she's probably loyal to her friends and shows it in her own way). which segues me into the episode "yesterday," in which akko goes "missing" and jesus christ diana's dialogue with chariot is really touching. from "akko needs you more than anything right now!" to "what could possibly be more important that akko right now!?" and "i'm more disappointed in you than i am of your past." she's just so well spoken in the most disastrous and telling moments, and it really shows how strong of a character she is. she remains level headed when lotte and sucy consult her about akko, and kindly offers them tea, along with reassurances. despite her generally not hanging out with akko's crowd of people, she's still kind and considerate when people need her. her words to chariot/ursula are so powerful because she's depicted as so stoic and indifferent but completely tells her off when she knows what ursula is doing is wrong. i hope that makes sense? from an apathetic elitist to a passionate worrywart - all over akko. and once she finds her, she basically acts as her caretaker, in that moment. and i'd be lying if i said i didn't cry, because god. diana knew exactly how to make her feel better, and man is that not an indicator to how perfect akko and diana are for each other. her confessing that she felt envious of akko's determination and closeness to chariot, and confessed to wanting to get away from akko bc of it, but ended up just getting closer to her.

in the last episode, in which they stop the missile, i was just so happy to see where their growth led them. them holding each other while doing the shiny arc thingamajig? awesome. akko catching diana when she falls? diana screaming for akko when akko falls? which inevitably leads to her falling because she's crazy for akko? really hit me in the feels. undeniably happy. joy. the parallels between chariox and diakko are like, super obvious. except for the fact that diakko was the better example, in which they worked together instead of one envying the other for their power. like how diana initially said she envied akko for having the shiny rod, and croix getting jealous of chariot bc of it too - except diana learned to accept it and support akko and work with her. bc red and blue gays. ygm.

i'll talk about andrew and the rest of 'em later bc im fairly tired but. im sorry for the excessive tangent. i likely left out a lot of what i wanted to say bc big gay brainrot, and i'll spew that out sometime later.

thank u for listening to my ted talk stay gay!!

[tamatama-kilo]

ok tma spoilers for like a lot of it but istg i need to rant to SOMEONE i need validation

ok so in s4 safe house fics or just jmart fics in general around like s3-5 why the actual hell is jon not as clingy like i get he's worried about being weird (along with literally 7000 other mental and physical and emotional and psychological issues) but this man has literally no connections period. sure, he technically has georgie, but FUCK does she not make him feel literally any better because of saying shit like "just stop doing this and it'll help" GEORGIE. I UNDERSTAND YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND BIG EYE IN SKY. BUT FUCK YOU. anyways jon has no one. not a single goddamn person who gives a shit about him.

well, except martin.

even when he was his ACTUAL SHITTIEST EVER, martin still somehow fuckin managed to make tea for this sopping wet cat of a man and care about him and be concerned even with the "i need to be good enough for him" bullshit which i could go on a whole other rant about THAT but i can do that later but it might be because of what i mentioned earlier, being scared of being vulnerable, being judged, stuff like that, but if i were jon? you bet your sorry ass i would be attempting worship that motherfucker

obviously i'm probably missing a bunch of details but i have so many thoughts happening in my head

CONTINUING ON FROM THIS so i mentioned how martin has this whole "i need to be good enough for him" mentality yeah right so i'm gonna talk about that because i love him and i need to FIX HIM

so we all know his mother is an absolute bitch and she deserves to get her skin flayed in front of her but essentially: she neglected him, held enormously high standards for a child she didn't even really care for, got sick and needed martin to drop out of school at FUCKING 15 and get 2 jobs to take care of her and she could not must up a single FUCKING thank you. and the whole thing with having no present father and all that but im not talkin about that right now

so when martin got moved to the archives he had someone new to impress, someone to get validation from, etc etc and because jonathan sims is the World's Shittiest Boss talks shit about martin ALL the time, is just a menace to him, and is super fucking mean to him calling him useless and dumb and i want to actually murder s1 jon how DARE you talk about my BOY LIKE THA-

anyways because jon is a similar-ISH person to please for his mom, martin has that constant sense of "how can i prove this" "how can i be better for him" "how can i be good enough" because he was so goddamn desperate for literally any validation from anyone and god that hurts me

i have so many thoughts

they all came from an old archived tumblr post basically analyzing jons past trauma up to the kidnapping in s3 and about the trauma from that and shortly afterwards and oh my god i genuinely think you cannot get someone more traumatized than that i mean jonny how the fuck

[tropicalgothships]

I apologize in advance for the rage to come.

By the way, what a chickenshit move for that person to make, creating a sideblog to slander you with because you have anon off. I don't think touching grass is enough here, I think this idiot needs to touch the bottom of the ocean and stay there forever. Four years of constant harassment is FUCKING UNACCEPTABLE. HEY IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU SICK FUCK RANDO, GET A LIFE. FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF. QUIT ACTING LIKE A GODDAMN TODDLER AND LET THIS PERSON EXIST IN PEACE. RUINING SOMEONE'S ENTIRE LIFE OVER A SELFSHIP IS BULLSHIT. AND ENOUGH WITH THE LIES BTW, JUST GET OVER YOURSELF. YOU DISGUST ME, YOU PATHETIC WORM. I'M SICK OF WATCHING MY FRIENDS GET HURT BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU. SOMEONE WITH THE BRAINS OF A ROCK AND THE EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE OF A SCORNED BABY. GROW THE FUCK UP.

(I'm so sorry for the rant, you absolutely do not have any obligation to post this ask btw... I'm just fucking livid as a selfshipper, friend and fellow fat person!! Hiding behind a screen is fucking simple. It doesn't take balls, it takes a shriveled up sack with nothing inside. Fucking coward.)

And if this wasn't clear, I CARE SO MUCH AND AM SO SORRY THAT SUCH A HUGE PART OF THIS COMMUNITY THAT WAS BUILT TO SUPPORT HAS INSTEAD TORN YOU DOWN.

IT'S NOT RIGHT. IT'S NEVER BEEN RIGHT. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

🫂

Basically it all stemmed from being blocked by this person for no real reason, they told all my friends when the self ship community moved to X that I stalked them- when really I just blocked them on every social so I didn’t see them and they didn’t see me. This was in 2018.

A month later in January 2019, a mutual friend of mine and this person wanted to mediate a chat with us both and we both agreed to it. It didn’t end very well because I chewed this person out for lying about me. I’ve been stalked in real life, where it had to get legal action involved. Making sure that someone doesn’t see you online isn’t stalking.

And that was that. It’s been going for years but it really kicked up a notch in 2020, at the start of the first lockdowns. Everyone was online, I wasn’t as I was at work and that was basically when the impersonating anonymous asks started.

It’s been like that ever since March 2020.

[darkfictionjude]

So I am Finally able to think coherently again. I shall give you my thoughts.

It's a rant sorry people!

You took Me by surprise not just with the update out of nowhere but with the content.

It was so scary. You had me on the edge properly freaked out. And I am someone that has a love/hate relationship with horror because I like it but I'm a scaredy cat. So I was really creeped out. Your ability to translate that much fear on paper was so incredible.

And the thing is. I know this is a scary story. I know this has supernatural vibes I know there's literally been descriptions of horrible murders in previous chapters. But from the beginning of the chapter to the scene with Arthur's description of what happened at the fair to the morgue scene it was just a very eery atmosphere.

You lulled me into a sense of comfort in previous chapters. Yes it was a bit creepy here and there especially with my favorite adverts. But was more focused on MCs fucked up family dynamics, their readjustment into society and teenage angst with the bullies and trying very hard not to fall for all the ROs. So my attention was completely caught off guard with this chapter.

And then you didn't need to be describing Imre like that... you know what you did!!!! I'm not even gonna start on that again. 🙈 (that's a rant for another ask trust and believe)

OMG shut up jude. I'm not blushing you're blushing 😑

No but seriously I feel like we hit a turning point this chapter especially in the tone of the IF and it was really really great. Shit is getting hectic out here. And I can't wait to see how you'll catch me out again.

I personally love rants and since it’s my blog you don’t need to apologize for it!

But yeah I always felt like that from the prologue to the end of episode 2 we’ve been in introduction mode. I needed to introduce the characters, the world, the established relationships, the town itself. That needed to be out of the way to truly begin the story.

That’s not to say that those elements of the family dynamic and general teenage bullshit will be left behind as relentless horror is brutal, we need moments of respite. This story gets very dark and not just in supernatural horror but the horror that people do to each other, how people who care for each other can be hurtful.

I’m glad I was able to scary you though hehehe (I’ve consumed a lot of horror media but I’ve never written it so I’m glad it works).

Ah Imre, sweet beautiful Imre. I liked the idea of not seeing him so put together physically, that’s why the soccer stuff came in 😈

And I’m glad you get that feeling of change in the story now. Mc is now really making an effort to figure shit out while also encountering new emotions and feelings (sexual and not) that they were barred from during their early formative years because of the life they’ve been subjected to.

I promise part 3 will be the falling action, not as insane as the majority of this episode 😭 (omg are those the ROs who are coming in through the door to distract mc with their sexiness in part 3???)

[beetlebethwrites]

Escaping Mattgate for a lil. Love the drama for Matt romancers tho!

But going back to Alex.. again my one true love...

I could really relate to how real his emotions translated through your writing. That desperation and hopelessness. Ugh. I just wanted to hold him. It's real shit! When things look bleak and you don't know what to do, isolation is a sad go to for many of us. It both helps to get time away alone but it can also really hurt yourself and your loved ones when you just shut them out. I have personally experienced both of those and I loved that you wrote him as a real person that doesn't know what the fuck they are doing or even going to do.

Jordan to me honestly seems like the adorable bean in the group that probably is the least...drama when romancing (you can correct me, just the vibe I'm getting) but Alex made me really connect with that part of them.

I think slice of life games are underrated. Yes I adore fantasy and supernatural IFs.. I follow a million of them after all. But sometimes it's tougher dealing with characters that just have real life bullshit going on and who don't have their shit together and it can't be fixed with a isekai cheat mode. 🤣

Okay sorry for my rant i know it's a bit of a ramble... ♥️

Always happy to escape the Matt chat icl.

I'm really glad you've liked Alex's arc so far. They're one of my favourite characters to write because they feel emotions so deeply and I'm glad that translates to page.

Jordan is pretty low on the drama front when dating, yeah, but so are Eve and Char tbh. The actual act of dating them is really relaxed, they know what they like and want, have themselves relatively sorted etc.

I would agree but I think slice of life is a tricky balance sometimes. By nature, the plot won't be as exciting as a fantasy or sci-fi IF but you still need the characters to have strong motivations for their actions.

Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying YLAF and hope you continue to do so! 💛

[bangtanficsforyou]

Crushed- Ch (02)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Au: Friends to idk what

Genre: Angst, some fluff.

Ratings: 18+

Words: 2.3K

Warnings: mentioned in each chapter

Summary: Your coworker and best friend Jimin is everyone's favourite and for good reason. He's sweet, charming, caring, kind, humble, polite, ha– well shit. There you go making it obvious yet once again, that you're in love with him. But it's all good as long as he remains oblivious right? Wrong. After overthinking for a whole month, you decide to confess and things take an unexpected turn.

Main Masterlist | Previous

Dear Diary,

I don't know what to do. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting Jimin again and I just don't know how to behave around him, anymore. I thought three days of not seeing him would help me figure out what to do about the situation but unfortunately, that's not the case.

In the three days' time, all I have done is to stalk Jimin's Instagram but when staring at him became too painful, I moved to Rachel's insta. Another stupid move, might I say. Her recent insta updates let me know that she and Jimin spent their Sunday with each other. I assume it was their first date but even then, one could see how bright her smile was, and how happy she looked around him. If that wasn't enough, Jimin was laughing and giggling with his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Those pictures and clips made me wonder what it would feel like to be in her place, to be on the receiving end of Jimin's fond giggle, for him to smile like that because of me and at me because even though he has no idea, he makes me smile like that, like a fool, as if nothing else matters but him.

Perhaps, I was too much of a fool. That's exactly why I feel so pathetic now. I feel so stupid for ever entertaining the thought of him liking me back. It possibly wouldn't hurt so much had I not expected him to return my feelings. But it is what is. It's no one's fault. Jimin can like whoever he wishes to and the same goes for me. I chose him. He chose someone else. That's the difference.

Despite that, I need to keep my emotions at bay. I can't let him know of the pain I have been in, in recent days. I need to be the Y/N he knows, the one who is his best friend, which would admittedly require a whole lot of acting. Because every time I think of him, I just feel this longing and heartbreak. I can only imagine, what it would be like to be seeing him and to be in his presence. Nevertheless, thank you for being my safe place where I can rant without any worry because the other person who used to be my safe space, is the one I'm currently ranting about lol.

"You have not replied to my texts and have not answered my calls." Monday is here and so is Jimin. After your failed attempt at confessing, you had taken a few days off so that you don't have to face him. But alas, your day-offs were gone and here you are.

You do not bother looking up from your computer. To anyone, it would seem like you're being nonchalant but that's far from the truth. Only you can tell the way your heart shrinks and your stomach churns having Jimin sit right next to you but feeling as if he's far, far away.

"I'm sorry, I haven't had the time, was busy with work." You chew on your lower lip to give the faux impression that you're concentrating really hard on the numbers on your screen.

Jimin, either is just plain rude or doesn't buy your act, for he places a hand under your seat and swirls the chair such that you're now facing him.

Fucking wheels. You curse in your brain not even caring about how absurd it is to get mad at wheels and that to of those of a chair's.

When your eyes meet Jimin's, you immediately notice the seriousness in his orbs. Well, shit.

"Care to explain?" He asks again, his brows furrowed in a stern expression.

"I told you, I was–"

"I don't buy that bullshit." He cuts you off, vehemently shaking his head. "You've never done this before, you've always replied to my texts no matter how busy work has gotten. Do you even know how worried I was?"

It sure didn't seem so. The petty voice in your head mutters.

"Nothing, I was just tired, trust me." Trying to make him believe that you're being genuine, you also smile at him, hoping he somehow buys it.

Jimin does not buy it.

After you had left lunch abruptly, he had his suspicions about something being wrong. However, he had not paid much attention to it, for he entertained the thought that it might really have been some important duty call. You had an important meeting that day, which although you were done with, there can always be extra documents that one needs to go through or sometimes needs to mail them to some higher authorities. Jimin had shrugged off his concerns for he thought he was just overthinking or over observing.

His concerns however returned, when you did not answer his calls and texts. Because heck, in the span of three years that he has known you, you had never done that before. To say that he was worried would be an understatement.

On the second day that you had gone without any contact, he was ready to go to your place. He however didn't, when he found that you had checked his stories. That was some sort of reassurance that you are okay and probably haven't fainted in your apartment or any of the terrible scenarios that his mind had come up with.

Which had finally made him come to the conclusion that there was something up with you. Even if he had any doubts about it, they were now gone because your whole body language is stiff and closed off. Why, he has no idea.

The side of your face burns from how intensely Jimin keeps staring. Feeling your hands get clammy, you blurt out the first thing that comes to your mind, in hopes of getting rid of the awkward silence. "How did your date with Rach go?"

You instantly regret the question. It must be because of how a sadistic part of you wanted to know the details. A sadistic part, which wants to know it from him, in his words.

Your question however, has the desired effect as it seems to deflect his attention. The frown on his features soften and his lips quirk up. "It was great, might as well have been the best date I have been on."

You shoot him another smile, another attempt at making him believe that you are being genuine. "You were not nervous?"

This time, Jimin does buy it. "I was surprisingly not, because it wasn't supposed to be a date." Noticing the questioning look on your face, he elaborates further. "I was just telling her about how you have not been replying to my texts and how worried I was. I had probably ranted so much that she ended up advising that I needed to be out and breathe in some fresh air. Which somehow ended up with us going out and having dinner together."

You hum, biting the inside of your cheek as you look at him and try your best to maintain your smile.

"You know the best part? There was no awkward silence." Jimin continues and you can sense that this is going to turn into a ramble.

You can only imagine, how long Jimin has been waiting, to tell you all this. A part of you thinks it would have been better had you been in touch with him via texts, because you know for sure, that he would have hit you with long texts describing every single detail and in that way, you at least wouldn't have to force yourself to smile even when you feel your heart silently break for the nth time in the span of five days.

"There's something very soothing about her. Her company just makes you kind of forget all about your worries. Unlike, how most first dates are, it was very relaxing and chill."

"So, it made you forget about me?" You chuckle but when you notice Jimin's smile fade, you realise that it might not have been the right thing to say. "I was joking, relax."

Jimin's frown remains in place and you feel scared of him easily reading you. Thankfully, a voice calling for Jimin's name is what makes him move his eyes from you.

"Can you update these numbers? I've checked them and they just need to be uploaded." Taehyung, says as he approaches where the two of you're sitting.

Jimin nods absentmindedly. "Yeah, sure." With that, he steals one last glance at you and leaves.

The moment he leaves, you feel like you can finally breathe. Fuck, acting is kind of difficult.

You look up to meet eyes with Tae only to find him winking at you and he mutters a small thank me later before he leaves as well.

The interaction has you contemplating if you were being that obvious with how uncomfortable and congested you were feeling. If that's the case then you think Jimin also might have noticed it. Which can explain his reaction to those stupid words that you had muttered.

So, it made you forget about me.

What were you thinking before you made that comment?

You'd be honest, you had not given much thought before you had said those words but now that you think of it, you wished for Jimin to have not enjoyed his date. It's selfish you know. Despite that, a part of you desperately wanted for the scenario to be different. You wished that even in her soothing presence, Jimin was worrying about you. That he did not just forget about you because he was with her.

You know he did not exactly mean that but the cynical part of you believes that the amount of fondness he feels for her is greater than the amount of worry he has for you.

It's pathetic to think that way, you know but maybe you just needed some sort of reassurance from Jimin. You know he does not owe it to you but his words did more damage than good.

"That was intense." A voice quips, causing you to blink back to reality.

"Huh?" You ask, the words not registering in your brain.

"I said, that was intense." Yoongi repeats from where he stands on the other side of your cubicle with his head resting on top of the partition.

"What was?" Genuinely confused, you frown.

He scoffs. "You and Jimin. I could feel the tension through the partition."

Your eyes go wide. "You were eavesdropping?"

He shrugs casually. "More like it was unavoidable."

You were being obvious.

"Damn, I made it obvious didn't I?" Hating the idea of it, you hope Jimin does not come to conclusions.

"Just as obvious as the day."

"You don't even try to sugarcoat it." Grumbling, you lean back into your chair.

"I don't sugarcoat it but I can sugacoat it." He retorts with a serious expression.

"You're hanging too much with Jin aren't you?" You squint your eyes and move the mouse cursor haphazardly all over the screen.

"I'd have you know my jokes are way better than Jin's, so, in case you're implying that his company has affected my humour, you're very wrong." He huffs, clearly offended by your words.

"Debatable." You reply in a beat.

"Yesterday, he went to the grocery store and asked the counter lady why eggs don't make jokes." He begins in order to prove his point.

"Because they'll crack?" You ask in a questioning tone.

"The lady did not bat an eyelash." He deadpans.

".....and Jin was too busy laughing to notice that?"

Yoongi sighs, as if concerned but not surprised by his beloved friend, Jin's behaviour. "The lady looked at me as if asking whether he's okay or not."

The whole scene plays inside your head and you laugh for the first time in what seems like ages. This has happened far too many times for you to find it funny but somehow it never gets old.

Yoongi's lips quirk up when he sees you laugh.

Anyone with eyes could see the love you had for Jimin. Thus, today, when he saw Jimin chatting with this one girl (he has no idea what her name is) while he was coming back from the tea room, he knew something was wrong. It wasn't the chatting, in particular, it was the shy glances, the fond smiles and the subtle touches. His very first thought was that of you and his immediate reaction was that of worry. He wondered if you knew about it or if it would be a heartbreaking surprise for you when you come to work.

The conversation he overhead between you and Jimin answered a few of his queries for sure but it also only caused him to worry more.

Nevertheless, seeing you laugh puts him slightly at ease.

From across the aisle, another pair of eyes watch you. Jimin notices you laugh and sees that your body language is no longer stiff, no longer guarded.

Did Yoongi say something funny? Is that what had gotten you to ease up? Because it can't be that you're all guarded and stiff around him in particular, right? He did not do anything to make you mad. At least nothing that he can think of.

But whatever it is, he needs to figure it out.

Permenent taglist:

@mwitsmejk @hopestastic

[intjgodcomplex]

It absolutely makes my blood boil when people associate gender with things THEY enjoy doing or a skill that THEY have. Like no, being emotional isn't a 'girl thing' just because you're a girl and emotional, it's a YOU thing. Stop creating dumb ass gender stereotypes that have no evidence other than experience. People need to know the difference between basic personality characteristics and gender.

Literally most of our problems in any type of inequality comes from stereotypes.

Also, since I'm on a feminist rant I'll just complain about some more stuff. Like for example, the whole 'pick me girl' thing. Those girls who use that term not only do they call girls who don't like to wear makeup 'pick me' but they also fully believe that makeup is an essential to being a woman. Like no, woman aren't born with the inner urge to wake up and cover their faces with chemicals, sorry to break it for you.

Also, can we all just admit that makeup is not 'art', it's a way to cover insecurities. Okay yeah i get it, makeup can be fun. But let's be real, girls who do a full face of makeup since they were young are not doing it because they see it as an art, they are insecure and dependent on it to make them feel better about their looks. I don't see what part of contouring your nose to look smaller and spending so much money on the same products rebranded screams 'art'.

I don't think that wearing makeup is necessarily something to get men's attention, but most of the time it's an unconscious desire. We live in a world where everything is about men. Growing up as a girl, you're sort of wired to always value your looks and men's opinions. It's simply the male gaze and ignoring it does no good.

I enjoy wearing makeup every now and then too, but my first instinct when i see a girl saying she doesn't like to wear any isn't to bash her for liking how her natural face looks like.

And if you really think makeup is a good thing for women, I'm afraid you are beyond help.

And don't even get me started on the whole 'girls have mother instinct' bullshit because it makes me want to bash my head against the wall. It's basically a nicer way to say that women are just baby machines. Just because you have the ability to get pregnant doesn't mean that's all you are. Like you are able to open a door but that doesn't mean your whole life purpose and role is to open the god damn doors. Girls don't have mother instincts just because you shove a baby doll into their hands at the age of five.

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

I think it's really rich how the Loki series showrunners like to talk about Loki's problems and emotions as if he were some moody, hormonal teenager, while currently in the show Sylvie is acting like some sullen, edgy, emo bitch-brat, hating everything and everyone, sticking safety pins in her armor and working at frickin' McDonalds. And this is supposed to be seen as cooler than Loki because her "trauma was worse and her scars are deeper", yadda yadda yadda. Like??? Do they not see their own double standard??? Do they not smell their own bullshit???

I know you aren't watching the show, and the Loki series is your least favorite subject right now, it is mine too, but every time I see something related to it I just. Want to put my fist through a wall. Everything these people have said about Loki is so wrong it's like my brain can't comprehend it. Anyway thank you for being so incredibly patient with all the Loki-related anons, including mine!

And on the subject of Sylvie's armor, I can't stand seeing her wear that design. If she is so special, being "her own person" and all, then she really should stop co-opting Loki's costume and find something else. Something that's just as, um...."original" as she is. 😒

Hey, I love the anons so keep 'em coming! (I know I'm super slow with them though, so sorry about that)

I couldn't agree more about the double standard. It genuinely baffles me that they're so uninterested in one of the most complex characters the MCU has ever had. They clearly understand he's like a magnet for the fanbase, hence all the promo centring him, but they seem so keen to grab that complexity and turn it to shreds in order to make him more palatable, and it's like... he already has a lot of fans kissing his ass. You want more? Don't change him, just make a good series! Get the same freaking character acting the same way he's always been, put him in situations and we'll watch the damn thing even if it's not that good just to see him. What's not clicking?! 🤦‍♀️

It doesn't make sense to me. Disney+ needed the Marvel series to be profitable, and they want a bigger audience and more money. Okay, cool. But why, why do the execs think the only way to get people interested is by nerfing the characters and making them simpler? It's such a classist belief that ""people"" will only understand something if it's on its most superficial state.

It reminds me of this idiot minister in the UK who said he was worried people wouldn't be able to understand The Crown is fiction and not a documentary on the actual events in real life. At the time so many news headlines read "The citizens are so stupid, they think TV series are an accurate depiction of reality!" instead of "This minister is so stupid he thinks everyone is as dumb as him".

Sorry about that, I needed to rant too lol I don't know what Sylvie is wearing now but I suppose she will be wearing the Loki armour still. It is funny, she's not a Loki but she has to wear the suit otherwise no one would remember she's supposed to be a Loki since she doesn't act like one at all. See how Loki is wearing stupid TVA clothes and we all know who he is? But she has to wear the Loki suit.

[ryuichirou]

Hi ! First of all I wanna say I'm a huge fan of your drawings, your artstyle is so pretty !! Idia is one of my favs and I loooove how you draw him like he just looks so squishable /very pos. Then my question would be : have you played through chapter 6 yet ? If not, do you have any theories about what is going to happen ? And if yes, do you have any thoughts to share about it ?? I'm super curious to hear your opinion !!

Hello hello! I’m very sorry for replying to you so late, but we were in the middle of watching chapter 6 and decided to postpone our reply until we’re done, so I can share our thoughts properly (Sorry, this is going to be a monster of a reply, I’m going to talk a lot…). Hope all this was worth the wait!

Well, first of all, thank you so much for your kind words! I’m very happy that you like my artstyle and especially how I draw Idia, it means a lot. <3

Sooo, chapter 6.

To be completely honest, we went into twst already knowing about what happens in it, because our friend (who was playing through it at that moment) told us about Idia’s overblot and his and Ortho’s story. We were already interested in Idia by that point, which is why we were very curious about his arc, and I think it’s fair to say that this was the exact point we’d decided that we’re definitely going to check twst out. It just felt like it was filled with characters and tropes that we would really enjoy, and boy was it a correct hunch. That being said, the fact that we had already known the story didn’t ruin the emotional impact at all, we felt completely wrecked by ch6 lol

This post is possibly going to turn into me screaming about how much I love both Idia and Ortho, so I’m sorry in advance, but.

I really love Idia. This is going to sound weird, but I love how completely miserable he is and how you can see his suffering even when he’s giggling (oh how nice it was to hear his voice all the time lol) or messing with others. I think he is very well-written in this regard: he is clearly depressed, clearly very traumatized, clearly has a hard time dealing with what happened to him and the original Ortho (I mean the real one, but you know), but just… manages, somehow? It’s like he’s constantly playing the game of “for how long can I be in denial before I inevitably remember what I’ve done to my own brother and that this Ortho isn’t the real Ortho”. Except he never actually forgets about it, the realization is always in the back of his mind, because Idia can’t even allow himself to fully fall into denial; he always needs to remember what he did. It’s cool that Ortho-AI knows about what happened to the original Ortho too, even though Idia could have easily make him unaware, just so that they could pretend nothing has ever happened.

On a lighter note, when you take a character like this, with all his baggage, quirks and difficulties in basic human communication, and put him in a central role of a boss figure, who also has to talk to all the main cast and deal with their bullshit (seriously, just sign the NDA already, you problem children!), it ends up being quite amusing. Idia really tried his best to act like a boss, but was constantly bullied by others lol I also really love the contrast between uninterested Idia who just wants everything to be over already and enthusiastic Idia, who gets quite spunky and talkative once the topic shifts to stuff that he’s interested in. I love how Azul complained about Idia ranting his ears off all the time in the board games club, this is such an important and fun detail of his character: he is quiet, but actually enjoys talking when he’s passionate about the topic, and I think the chapter portrayed it perfectly. The entire segment in which the cast got to play random games and talked was really nice, but maybe it’s just me being soft for everyone involved in it lol

And I really love Ortho. In fact, I didn’t think I would love him as much as I do now, but he is quite enjoyable and more nuanced of a character than I anticipated him to be. It’s very easy for this character type to be simply “a cute android guy”, but the sheer power of his love towards Idia is wow. I find it interesting that while Idia did program him to act like the original Ortho, I don’t think he could’ve put so much love and care towards him (Idia) into his script. It was something that Ortho ended up feeling all by himself, by being with Idia for so long, taking care of him and noticing what makes him happy and what makes him miserable. The fact that he basically came to the conclusion that he didn’t want Idia to be miserable anymore, so he would rather destroy the world and rebuild it in a way that would make him happy is absolutely beautiful. We do have a soft spot for a trope in which AI gets attached to a person (in a not necessarily healthy way), and I am biased when it comes to that sentiment for personal reasons, but I also think it was a very nice plot point. Especially considering the fact that it were Rook and Vil who kind of inspired Ortho to stop feeling useless and actually go and do something, stop being a zero and all, like damn what a crossover lol a local couple of wise gay men accidentally inspired an AI boi to start an apocalypse.

The flashback… oof.  It was very beautiful and traumatizing (hey my favourite combo). I think I can talk about it all day, but I’ll just note that the voice acting in this particular part was awesome: I still get goosebumps when I think about that moment when teenage Idia suddenly starts crying after sounding so excited and smug and happy because he just finished the first version of his robo-Ortho. Because even though he did succeed, it didn’t fix anything: Ortho was still dead, his invention looked and sounded like Ortho but it would never be able to change the past. Ghhhh despair.

The design of Idia’s overblot was also great, I really loved that this time it was kind of like a double boss? Because the phantom wasn’t just a random, well, phantom, it was Ortho + the entire Underworld, and it was unusual and fun listening to their dialogues and stuff.

One of other very good things this book does is how it showcases other characters and their struggles. Exploring characters from a previous book in the current one is something that twst does every time, so we anticipated learning more about Pomefiore (and boy was that a ride), but we also got some good insight about Azul and Riddle and even Jamil a little bit (not much about Leona, but that’s Leona for you). And I can see how watching 3 sets of characters basically complete the same task over and over again could be quite tiring, but (maybe because we watched the walkthrough instead of playing the game) I personally didn’t mind it as much simply because the character aspect of it was entertaining enough. For the most part.

I really enjoyed Azul’s and Riddle’s scenes because of how similar yet completely different these two are: both are hard-working, grinding for good grades, having a lot of ambitions, but so very different in how they were raised and how they ended up navigating their lives. It was kind of surprising, considering that their chapters were pretty much the first ones and we haven’t seen them in a while, but it’s not like they’re completely healed from their issues: Azul still has a huge complex about being underestimated; Riddle still has a hard time breaking some arbitrary rules that don’t even mean much in a crisis. An unexpected, but a very nicely put together duo.

I won’t share all of my thoughts about Pomefiore because otherwise we’ll be here all day (and I’m already tired…), but what I’ll say is that it was great to see how strong their bond is, and that Rook and Vil’s relationships are very beautifully written. Please, someone, ask me about them, so I could rant about this too… orz I love Pomefiore so much… Vil’s and Idia’s interactions too…

So yeah, the chapter also ended on a very nice note, at least for the Shrouds. With other guys, when their arcs end, there is always this feeling of “oof better get everything back to normal”, but with these two it feels like an exciting new chapter of life for them, like everything is going to change somehow, but not drastically and uncomfortably. I don’t know if I explained it well but… Idia got his closure and got to say goodbye to Ortho properly; but he is still a socially inept otaku shut-in, he is still going to play an unhealthy amount of videogames, and he is still dependant on his robot-brother. But Ortho is now a person with an untouchable/unchangeable mindset, who chose to be with Idia and protect him himself. Also, other students got to know Idia and understand him a tiny little bit better, and honestly I feel like this is something that Ortho wanted the most.

Overall it was a solid chapter (I keep calling it both a chapter and a book, it’s confusing…) and I loved it. As you can see lol

[chowaya]

Some really cool powers I adore that could be used for OC's in the my hero universe. ( when really this is just my opinion and take on some powers. booyah! fooled ya! Now you gotta listen to me rant! )

1) Any kind of elemental power :

— alright, TO ME, elemental powers can be a bit boring or very boring because it's very repetitive from what I've seen. So far, to like an elemental in my taste, it's gotta be a singular quirk like fire only or earth only.

And write in a way to make it stand out or make it a bit different? I guess that's what I'm trying to say. I can't handle it when someone shows up as the fckin avatar, to me I can't take it seriously. Like sorry but I can't.

To make it stand out like change the colour or usage of the elemental quirk. Like water is mostly known for healing and defense so try to make it more of an offensive quirk- does that make sense? Oh! And I absolutely love when fire is a different colour. Blue is cool but turquoise, white, PINK— or make fire have healing properties? I eat that sht up.

2) Plant manipulation :

— I forgot what's the name of it, so ignore me. By plant manipulation I don't mean like sprouting vines from the ground and capture your absolute enemies. That's amateurish to me, I want trees uprooting themselves and those roots become LEGS, AND THOSE BRANCHES BECOME ARMS AND THEY BECOME YOUR LITTLE SOLDIER TO VICTORY IN BATTLES!!

Very much like maleficent, if you have seen it. Like sprouting trees is a bit too eh for me— for people with plant quirks I want them to be menaces to society. I want them to unleash hell, all is said.

3) Magnetism :

— brother walking in with the Magneto hairline. I WANT MAGNETS IN STORIES. it's so cool and bloody amazing and so goddamn powerful. You want an OC that's absolutely overpowered? Get yourself a magnetism quirk, enough with Avatar bullshit let it rest in peace.

Any OC with a metal quirk gives traumatized daddy energy. You can't convince me otherwise. That OC could be 5'1 and it would scream babygirl wearing black turtlenecks.

Also, I kinda came up with a really cool move that anyone could use which is like using your metal quirk. You could float a tiny coin and control it right? And then make it slice deep enough behind the knees to render your enemies useless. It's brutal but it's cool.

4) type of wings :

— I would kill for someone to have wings that aren't bird inspired. The fck why you wanna be a bird? Do you sht eggs? What are you, a pigeon? A goose? A duck? A bald eagle? What are you, American? USA RARRRR—

The wings I would love for OC's or shifters, maybe bat wings? Butterfly wings? Dragonfly wings? And maybe have your OC with coloured skin? Ombre skin? Love that.

Or maybe fish inspired wings? And how would that work? I don't know. But the idea seems like legitness. I also discovered like um Chinese moon moths? Oh My GOD you have to look it up their wings are beautiful with their fckin tails??? Hello???

Embodiment of beauty.

5) hemokinesis ( but in a certain way) :

— do y'all watch demon Slayer?? It's something like that. Have your blood create fire or explode, thin but crazy strong strings that you can slice or attach to people, blood that becomes a fragrance or smoke. Not that turning to weapon things cuz I have a better idea of quirk to go with that.

6) energy-technology construction.

— even the name sounds hella cool. With like rings around your fingers as you construct something. Chef's kisses.

7) teleportation

— I really like this quirk with the combination with the one before cuz it's badass. Do I really need to explain myself. Teleportation like- humph! I'm gone. Like quick teleportation not portals they're boring. Ew.

Like nightcrawler teleportation. If I wanted a power I would choose this. By far the most useful thing to come in life.

8) emotional manipulation or empathy

— enough is said. People be like mental manipulation is scary but BITCH LOOK AT EMOTIONAL MANIPULATION. like mantis you know? To feel and to give emotions. To put people to sleep. This isn't really such a bad power I love it.

Anyways thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[othsource]

Did you feel like Peyton liking Lucas came out of nowhere? I always wanted it to be Jake and Peyton

hiiiiii :) i'm gonna go on a rant, if that's okay xD

this rant is about lucas, peyton, brooke, and jake! but short answer? no i feel like it made sense. i love peyton with jake! don't get me wrong. but peyton never really got her chance with lucas for the first 3 seasons. it makes sense that those feelings didn't go away completely.

i think they were masked with anger after the shit lucas pulled toward the end of s1 and then they slowly came back to the surface as lucas continued to show up for peyton throughout s2 and s3. examples: lucas calling jake because he knew that peyton needed someone to lean on; lucas being there for peyton through the entire ellie situation; lucas going back in to the school when he found out peyton was shot.

i think all of that (and more that i'm not thinking of atm) reminded peyton why she liked lucas so much in s1 but she couldn't admit it to herself because brooke was with lucas and she wasn't going to do that to brooke again

and to be perfectly honest, i like lucas with brooke and i like lucas with peyton. i ship both of them. either of them. i'm cool with whatever!

but after re-watching s3 as a grown adult, i realized that lucas was a really realllllyy crappy boyfriend toward brooke. watching her break down at the wedding like that hit different this time.

"why didn't you tell me about the kiss? and why didn't you call me while you were away? and why won't you ever just let me all the way in?"

why didn't he tell her? if it wasn't a big deal, and if it didn't mean anything romantic to him, then why not tell her? if he cares about her so much, why didn't he call her while he was away? why didn't he lean on the person that he supposedly loves so much when he's going through something so terrible? this whole season was just lucas keeping brooke close by without ever truly letting her in - especially after keith died. it was all just fun and light-hearted surface-level romance and brooke wanted something so much more than that, which is why she ultimately broke it off. she needed someone that was going to go 100% in with her, and lucas wasn't doing that.

lucas drove me wild during this part of the show, as well. brooke was clearlllllllly very upset about something at the wedding prep when lucas came up and she asked him not to talk to peyton. and then she realized she shouldn't make it about herself, so she made up some bullshit about why she's upset. but in reality, if he knows her so well, and he loves her so much, wouldn't he see right through that? no. instead, he just chuckled, shook his head, and said "pff... weddings." like REALLY bro?!?! and then when she listed off reasons why it's not working, after begging him to let her all the way in, all he had to do was admit his fault and tell her he really wanted to make a change. but instead, he just said "brooke... i'm sorry." and she looked at him like, "yeah.... okay... that's real heart-felt. thanks. cool. me too." and the look on her face broke my heart because i could see what she really felt behind her actions! she wanted him to fight for her! just like in the beginning of s3. but once again, he fell short.

it feels like he always fell short when it came to brooke and that is lucas' biggest character flaw because she is brooke penelope davis!

but the leyton stan in me chooses to believe that all of these flaws are simply because lucas never truly truly loved brooke the way he loved peyton. that's why once peyton and lucas got started in s4, they never really ended. s5 is all about them finding their way back to each other (because lucas is an idiot who put her through hell but i lowkey loved s5 because so much emotion) and s6 is all about their journey to get married and start a family.

soooooooooooo i guess what i'm saying is, peyton loved lucas from the very beginning. she just needed to be reminded of that, and that's what lucas did without knowing it in s2 and s3. so it makes sense that an emotionally mature person like jake would see that even if lucas and peyton haven't seen it themselves yet.

[pansy-picnics]

*Steeples my hands like I'm about to ask you a question at a job interview* Thoughts on a Siluka and Kasumi friendship/ship-ship?

AUFIJDJGG SORRY IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO ANSWER THIS BUT I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS ONE!!!! THEY WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL!!!!

kasumi is VERY strict to her schedule and incredibly straight forward. she knows what she wants to do and how shes going to do it and she doesn’t take shit from anyone. but she also tends to expect too much of herself and has really bad imposter syndrome so she often tends to bite off more than she can chew.

siluka is super laid back and free spirited and mostly goes about her life on a day to day basis, she has a very straightforward view on herself and her needs and doesnt often overwork herself (much of this i feel is because she physically CANT do very much due to executive functioning issues and she often feels guilty because of it but thats umm mostly just me projecting). but siluka can also be very naive and spacey/is easily manipulated because she always has her head in the clouds.

siluka most of the time has iluka looking out for her, but as much as they would like to they cant be there for each other all the time. i feel like in some cases siluka wouldn’t really click well with people unless theyre doing the talking or iluka is there to talk for her (ex. yuzuki is so quiet that i dont think the two of them would bond much unless hinata or iluka was there to lead the conversation, but NOT both bc then theyd just get distracted and end up talking to each other while yuzuki and siluka sit there in silence).

but i think with kasumi siluka would be able to get along with her pretty well even without iluka there with her. maybe komari introduces the two but id like to imagine kasumi sticks up for siluka at some point while visiting the cafe, because iluka talks a LOT about men trying to hit on siluka while their advances go straight over her head. after the fact kasumi would go on this long rant about her hatred for men and siluka is jsut like “lmao What are u talking about /affectionate”

siluka would be a bit of an anomaly to kasumi at first. like Why are u like that. but as confused as she may be she finds silukas up-in-the-air personality to be somewhat endearing. its kind of a nice change of pace. and siluka tends to be drawn to that firm takes-no-bullshit demeanor because iluka is a lot like that and iluka is her Person she feels really safe around her. OH and silukas aura reading and interests in medicinal herbs would be really interesting to kasumi as well!!! kasumi is always craving knowledge and would be eager to listen to silukas long rambles about local plants and how they can be used + what kind of auras things have.

kasumi would teach siluka self defense skills shell Never remember to use but siluka enjoys learning anyways. she would be really interested, however in kasumis poetry and calligraphy skills. i can see them both becoming really good buddies kasumi would help siluka manage her time and assist her with certain tasks like iluka and ludus often do and siluka would remind kasumi to rest and help her relax/find more peace within herself rather than just burying herself in her work.

i can see a friendship between them devolving really easily into a romantic relationship too. siluka would bring kasumi lots of little flowers and cool shells and stuff like shes a little crow. kasumi would lose her Mind whenever siluka falls asleep on her shoulder. kasumi is really clueless when it comes to romance ESPECIALLY with another girl while siluka doesn’t care about Anything and is super blunt about her emotions (how she perceives them at least) and i think that dynamic would be HYSTERICAL. silukas just staring at kas while shes talking and shes randomly like “…..ur rlly pretty” and kasumis like “WHAJDJVKGKKJDSNANF?!??”

siluka would also find this HILARIOUS bc unlike ppl like hinata or lisette who are consistently morons kasumi seems smart most of the time. its only when siluka compliments her or leans on her in a particular way ect that kasumis brain goes haywire and the funniest part is siluka doesn’t even KNOW shes flirting and neither does kasumi. bc kasumi thinks siluka just Does That and like she does but also its different in this case yk!!! kasumi would confide in komari about this whos like “. Girl. shes into u” and kasumis like “NO SHES NOT i know shes not bc she would tell me if she was.” which in her defense IS TRUE but also siluka literally hasn’t figured out her own feelings yet.

iluka would go to siluka like “hey. yk if you want any help confessing to kasumi lmk like i know shes kinda dense /lh” and silukas just “??? Wdym lol” “…are you not flirting with her” “no” “.What”

anyways eventually siluka figures it out and confesses and kasumi has to have a mini arc figuring out her internalized homophobia but once thats over they start dating and they are both so stupid and so soft. another win for the lesbians

[harunayuuka2060]

I'm sorry but I really need some help

Okay so I work at this store that open from 6 am to 11 pm And I basically work for morning shift on last friday. I was completely alone since my manager he have some problems need to take care of first. And this one freaking man wanted to purchase something that I'm not well knowledgeable of the topic. So I told him I can't sell it to him since I didn't have good portion of knowledge about the thing he wanted to purchase. At same time two vendor is also in my store with countless of stock and it's still early in the morning.

Bad news is the stupid man still purchased it. Later on I'm busy with several customers. And at the moment my manager has already arrived. However, when this man legit came back and yelling at me Infront of everyone telling me I'm incompetent and stupid for not wanting to provide any help for him for the thing HE WANTED TO PURCHASED EVEN AFTER I SAID "SIR I CAN'T PROVIDE MY HELP SINCE I DID NOT HAVE A FAIR KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THE THING YOU WANTED TO PURCHASE"

He went off and yelling various type of curse word and also told me that "this is what happens when you gave woman A MAN WORK" that make my blood boiled. So my manager later provide his help to the asshole. After the inconvenience thing passed I was silent for the whole time of my shift. And my manager tell me it's not my fault that man was literally spouting his bullshit.

I managed to stay professional until the end of my shift and when I finally in my comfort oh home. So I cry and rant about the thing to my boyfriend who later also agreed with the customer. He did not even learn the whole story so I was really emotional and mad that I cry and tell him the whole story and said that he was still welcome to tell me I'm wrong after the customer basically just call me stupid. When in reality I'm still new there.

This went on for both of us. Yes he did ask for forgiveness. But I did not want to talk to him at the moment. I thought that when he said "it's also your fault to let him buy that thing" and he also said "you're too emotional that's how working life is" he already invalidate my emotions and said that I'm not professional enough to work.

It's upset me and I said to him "if you want to invalidate my emotions so be it. I don't see any point for both of us to continue our relationship" I ended the call and start to put my phone on DND

Of course he called me multiple of time, leaving voice message and even come to my house. But I ignore him. I'm mentally and physically exhausted so I sleep the whole part of confrontation since it's tiring.

And today his bestfriend called me and said that I'm just emotional and I need to sort out my emotions since it's make his best friend cry that I ignore all his messages and text over some meaningless argument.

I replied to him by saying that invalidation against my emotions are something he supposed not to do and if my emotional outburst are something meaningless for them don't blame me if I don't see any point of continue my relationship.

He called me a bitch while my boyfriend are crying and ask me for forgiveness on the background. That when on until today.

My bestfriend said that it's his fault not mine and he shouldn't said something like that. However my boyfriend and his friends still try to contact me.

I think I went to far and petty for this whole conversation but I also think he's wrong. So did I do something wrong or its right for me to do this? I just want to know someone else opinion who are not biased by the situation.

Look. I'm not an expert and I don't use this blog to give advices on problems like this, but you should trust your gut because if that was my boyfriend, hell, I would immediately erase him from my life. ^^