#i'm still thinking over how the rebrand would work

[sunjakes]

hello from ... the void?

idk the best way to describe my sudden disappearance except to say that 2023 was one hell of a year </3 not long after my last post, i went to the 7dream concert and started my second job, and i COMPLETELY underestimated how little free time i would have .. i do genuinely miss writing, but i've also undergone major stan list changes in the past 8 months .. (i started stanning almost 20 new groups this year and i now ult half of them .. i am truly insane) i still love enha so, so dearly, but i don't really ult them anymore? i also don't really ult nct anymore which feels weird to say after 7 years of them being my ult of ult groups :(

depending on how the new year starts out, and if i get inspiration to write again, i may do a bit of a "rebrand" to this account. all of my current works will stay, as i'm still proud of them, but i may start writing for some other groups if i can get ideas (namely DKB since they're my new ult group, but also potentially others? we'll see LOL)

if any of y'all are still in the slightest bit interested, keep an eye out :) i'll be sure to update in the future with my plans <3

in the mean time, feel free to follow my stan twitter or my tiktok to see more of me if you'd like :) i'd love to make friends with some of y'all and share the things i love on those platforms!

[answer2jeff]

SHARING SPACE — Carmen Berzatto.

synopsis: just a blurb, how you ended up moving in with Carmen :)

warnings: established relationship, reader is implied female (but little use of specific pronouns), fluffy headcanons, some smutty implications, some smutty implications but still fluff, mentions of alcohol and smoking, blurb is set once they're rebranding The Beef into The Bear.

i need more Carmen fluff this man is my whole life. btw this is super short but i'm sooooo burnt out :'(

It started with you "accidentally" falling asleep in his bed from the night before, panicking and hurrying to put your clothes in the morning before he had to rush to work. You weren't technically dating, but you were too close for comfort to be considered something as shallow as "friends with benefits." It was more than that.

But then things seemed to slow down. It turned into spending an extra ten minutes enveloped in each others arms. You shared, "good mornings" between sickly sweet kisses, his hands feeling up and down your torso while your fingers entangled in his hair. Carmen whispered about how much he didn't want to leave—as much as both of you knew he had to.

"You're gonna be late, Carmy." You'd groan, cupping his clean-shaven face and planting small kisses on his cheeks. Carmen let out a sigh of disappointment, realizing his short moment of bliss would be over the second he thought about leaving.

"I'm gonna clean up, 'kay?" He'd mumble, kissing your sweet lips one last time. His pupils dilated at the sight of you in his sheets, something he wish he didn't have to cherish from how little free time he seemed to have.

"Mhm."

Once he'd hop in the shower, you'd get yourself dressed before pouring him a warm cup of coffee, occasionally placing any dirty dishes stranded in the kitchen in the sink as an act of courtesy. You'd check the time, 7:00am,

As much as it pained you to leave without a proper goodbye, you worried that Carmen needed space- that he didn't have time to pepper kisses along your cheeks before he left.

"Bye Carmy!" You'd call out, but not quite loud enough for him to hear from the bathroom.

He wished you would've stayed just a little longer.

Eventually, you caught on. At one point, you swore you saw Carmen popping his head back into his bedroom to see if you were still there as you were already halfway out the door. From that point on, you started leaving little notes next to his coffee, littered with "I'm so proud of you," and sweet comments like, "break a leg Bear," and sometimes even an "I'll see you soon."

Then it turned into spending all weekend, every weekend, in his apartment—even though you'd been stopping by the restaurant between closing hours, and spending a good hour or two with him every other day of the week.

It just wasn't enough.

You started bringing a share-sized blanket and bottles of your favorite drinks whenever you came over, which was practically 4-5 times a week by that point.That blanket ended up rotating between your apartment and his, until it finally resided on the couch.

Wrapping himself in that blanket whenever you weren't around, reminded him that there was something else to think about; that there was someone else who needed him just as much as he did them.

You started leaving little things like your hoop earrings on the kitchen counter, or your puffer jacket on his coatrack, wondering if they'd still be there by next weekend; wondering if Carmen would ever have the heart to give them back to you. (Spoiler alert, he kept everything you ever "forgot"' in the exact same spot. Having a piece of you in his home at all times seemed to make up for your absence during the week, even if it just made him miss you more.)

Then you started packing extra clothes with you that you'd stuff into an empty drawer in Carmen's dresser. You brought your travel-sized, makeup bag with you, which you just ended up leaving in his bathroom. Along with your meds, and your skin care, and practically everything else you couldn't live without.

...

"You should just move in at this point." Carmen let out a breathy laugh as he watched you do your makeup, his eyes meeting yours in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. Not even 20 minutes ago, he saw you pick out an entire outfit from the spare clothes you brought, not even realizing that you left a pair of black shoes that went with everything, right in his shoe rack.

"I practically live here now," you paused to put on some mascara, your mouth gaping open as you tried to concentrate, "but my lease is up on the 23rd." You joked, twisting the cap on your mascara back on and tossing it into your makeup bag.

"I mean—would you want to? Live here? With—with me?" He physically turned to look at you, your reflection not giving him enough clarity. He needed to see you, whether you said yes or no. You felt your stomach turn, and the question seemed unreal.

"I— yeah, I guess. Only if you want me to, but that'd be pretty... cool." You turned your head to face him, gazing into his desperate eyes. He needed to be able to call this apartment "ours," not just "his."

This apartment felt more like a home than you than anywhere else you resided in Chicago. You made your commute to work from this apartment, you ate and showered and slept in this apartment, bits and pieces of you were tossed all around this apartment, you brought home every new piece of clothing and jewelry back to this apartment.

Carmen literally made you keep a spare key in your wallet, advising you to come over whenever you needed something—even if he wasn't home. He trusted you with his space,

He took it upon himself to buy you a toothbrush, the shampoo and conditioner you raved about after he complimented your hair, and extra pads/tampons/menstrual cups (since he wasn't sure what you used,) just for when his bathroom would be occupied by you. He cleaned out the hidden cabinet behind the mirror above the sink, making sure you had a place for all of your things. He moved all of his cologne, deodorant, lotion, etc in the cabinet underneath it.

All he ever wanted was to make sure you felt safe.

[deadgodjess]

It's really funny how Twitter is rolling out this rebranding on like, a design level, outside of just Elon's whole man-baby routine.

They didn't have a new logo created, they're just using a Unicode 𝕏, it's for math. It can't be trademarked because it's not a distinct logo so they have 0 control over how, if, or when people use their branding on other sites, which is just an insane situation for a major social media company to create for themselves.

Search engine optimization. You are a major social media company, you want to be THE PLACE people go for social media, news, etc, right? Well, good luck chucklefuck, because while X is the top search result, it's also the ONLY one on the first page (on duckduckgo) that refers to the social media site. Search Twitter and it's the entire front page of search results including news articles and Wiki articles about the social media site.

Association with porn. X-[anything] sounds like a porn site and XVideo IS a porn site. That's what you're contending with, and while I personally don't believe there's anything inherently shameful with close proximity to porn, on a professional level most companies are going to notice that and have to seriously consider if they want refer people to their X Account to see their X Posts on their X Feed and you see what I'm getting at here? Which then gets into...

The sheer brand recognition of the Twitter name. There is NO other social media site with the kind of brand recognition that Twitter has. Zuck would sell his right nut for the kind of brand recognition Twitter has. They have their own word for posts! Facebook doesn't have that! Reddit and Tumblr don't have that! Myspace and LiveJournal and Xanga also never had that! All for the far more generic 𝕏. No one's Booking on FB or Ditting on Reddit or w/e. But on Twitter they be Tweeting. Saying you tweeted someone tells people EXACTLY what site you were on immediately. Now they're what, X-posting? Well that's short for "cross-post". Posting on X? Looks like you're being vague about what site you were using on purpose. "I @'d [so-and-so] on X" doesn't have the same ring it, either.

They didn't make all their rebranding decisions BEFORE announcing and rolling out the rebrand, so now we have a site called 𝕏 with a LOT of the on site references to the site itself and it's features still called Twitter [thing] and you still post using a button that says "Tweet" (as of 7.29.23) and they JUST settled on a word to replace that with. USUALLY when a company is doing a rebranding, especially one with the kinds of resources Twitter has available, they plan it all out well in advance and do the roll out all at once rather than this hodgepodge thing that's going on. This is a big one and I don't think Elon understands how unprofessional this looks. This doesn't look like the work of a team of skilled, experienced web developers, designers and marketers. This looks like a site being ran on a shoe-string budget ran by a disorganized child making decisions on a whim.

Okay so I can't fully divorce the design decisions from Elon's general fuckery, but you get my point. Like, all the behind the scenes and PR shit is bad enough but even if we didn't know he had a tantrum over the name of PayPal and hadn't been all over the site being loud and wrong about everything, just these decisions listed would be enough to show what an entitled, inexperienced, immature walnut he is.

And it's really fucking funny.

[gingerylangylang1979]

Remember when Ebra's future at The Bear wasn't certain?

gif courtesy of @heardchef

Remember when this trailer hit and we freaked out?

I was worried about Ebra. I thought he would quit or maybe get fired because he couldn't keep up with the new pace. In season one he was a bit dismayed by all of the components in the chicken piccata. In the moment above there was foreshadowing that he wasn't confident about his place in the future. Things moved forward rapidly. He didn't thrive like Tina in culinary school. In a crueler kitchen he may have been forgotten when he disappeared but he wasn't. He was given space but he wasn't cut loose. People were concerned. Carmy asked about him. Tina reconnected with him. He still had a spot on the team, just one reimagined. I'm glad.

Edwin has high billing despite a small role. He's a legend in Chicago. I honestly think Ebra's the funniest character even though he doesn't get the big goofy, flashy moments. Please let him be funny again! But there is a story of immigration, sadness, and loss for him that is ready to be told. I don't think they will ever give him a big storyline but I do hope he at least gets a monologue to explain the whole thing or it gets revealed in bits and pieces along the way. Also, I think his style doesn't get enough love. He dresses like the older fly African and Caribbean men I see in my Brooklyn neighborhood. Bright colors, bold patterns, boho accessories. It's a vibe. I bet he smells good, too. And he's attractive. If I was his age...

I think Ebra's arc last season says a lot about the show and the people behind it. Carmy could have let Ebra go. There was a lot going on and he could have just saw a rogue element and dropped that ass. But who would Carmy be to judge? He was the most rogue element all season and was the weakest link at Friends & Family. Instead, Carmy still found value in him. Tina could have rubbed in her all star status and promotion but she didn't. She saw a friend struggling, not competition. She had the vision for him in his current position.

Storer saw Edwin in a local play when he was a kid, thought he was the most magical actor he'd seen, remembered him, kept up with his Chicago career, and sought him out for this role. He didn't have to do that. He could have hired a more widely known talent but he gave his childhood favorite actor the opportunity. He remembered and honored him.

I see a lot of how Storer is with his talent in how Carmy is as a leader. Carmy is deeply flawed but he does invest in his people. He could have fired the old crew from day one. But he didn't clean house and hire a bunch of Sydney's (he only needed one). He could have started with an entirely new crew when he decided to rebrand, but he didn't he decided to fast track his found family. Storer wanted people he had worked with to work on The Bear. Jeremy (his award winning lead), Ayo (breakout star, IMO romantic lead, and future director thanks to Chris), Ramy (director), and Molly (romantic interest) are people he worked with in the past, sought out again, and saw how they could build on what he saw in them before.

Anyways, this was partially an ode to Ebra/Edwin and partially me getting warm fuzzies over Storer as a generous show runner and Carmy as a generous anti-hero.

[luvfy0dor]

“We Still Worship This Love...♡⁠˖” Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; Suggestive, maybe a little toxic, wine but it's not prominent

Description; A very short drabble about Fyodor and Reader's way of fixing problems and arguments HEAVILY based n False God. I think on the citrus scale this might be lime. (Edit like 2 months later- this is not lime I was just nervous to post anything suggestive at all 😭)

A/n; Okay, so basically the rundown on this is this was the first idea I had that I was supposed to write and post here all the way back in August omg. Obviously I haven't until now so here you guys go! I know it's not the best but I also wrote this at 5 in the morning lol. Also might rebrand to pink idk how I feel

ೃ⁀➷

Though you and Fyodor had your differences through arguments here and there, you made sure to make it up to each other at one point or another. They were things you both tried pushing past, feeling as though arguing with him was comparable to an eternity in hell; he's both stubborn and you hated the feeling of guilt that would build up in the pit of your stomach if the ordeal wasn't resolved. You thought that you could patch it up pretty well with the soft kisses and caresses that were shared after the fact, the temporarily forgotten about wine glasses shimmering on the table under the dim light while the two of you got caught up in yourselves. Every encounter of this sort gave you some sort hope, although it was proven to be blind everytime the cycle repeated. You had put so much faith into your love for him that you started not caring that it was comparable to worshipping a false god. You believed that your relationship was true love, and that was all that mattered.

Fyodor loved that you felt that way, returning to him even after exchanging harsh words with eachother. Most nights the both of you would take time to calm down on your own first, gathering your thoughts and sipping on a glass of something, anything that would act as support. Sometimes it was water, sometimes it was wine. You'd try talking it out with eachother, and everytime it worked you ended up entangled in his arms within a matter of minutes; his hands on your waist and back as he softly kissed on your neck while whispering and murmuring quiet apologies to completely win you back over. As did you the second you saw an opportunity, your hands were placed on his shoulder and chest while you straddled him. Your trail of bite marks always made their way down his body throughout nights like these when you showed each other the softest love possible.

→ Fyodors hand rested on the small of your back as you stood between his knees, tilting his head up in order to plant gentle kisses to his lips, only ever pulling away in order to get air but occasionally mumbling against them. "I'm sorry, I get a little dramatic sometimes, but you know that, don't you?" You ask quietly, your eyes flickering from his pretty violet ones to his pink lips that contrasted his pale skin well. That porcelain color was now tainted with hints of pinks on his cheeks and purples on his lower neck and chest. He hummed, a small but visible smirk plastered on his face as his thumb rubbed up and down against the skin of your back underneath your top. "You're forgiven, moya lyubov." He quietly accepts your apology, his hands snaking further up your shirt, pulling you further towards him. You laugh a bit and lean further into him. "Lay with me, my dear." He asks, to which you comply with a smile. Wherever that night takes you would most likely only add to your will to stay with him, but that wasn't your biggest concern in this moment ♡⁠˖

A/n; This isn't to glorify toxic relationships at all if this could count as one. I've just wanted to write this for a couple months now and I'm finally getting to it.

[smilestrawbunny]

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

Oh, I am such a funny person to come to about this- I never let being a game dev stop me from interacting with works I like, haha! Maybe that’s just because I’m a smaller creator, though. Just recently I posted death note fan art, I’m currently working up the courage to post about fandom related ocs, and I’m hosting a game jam encouraging fan works that might be considered “cringy.”

The people who like you and your work will still be there regardless. You can count on that as a fact! So why should you stop yourself from having fun?

Life is far too short to be worried about your public image to such a high degree. Like you said, these are already things that you actively do to express yourself and enjoy! So if it gives you any semblance of comfort, I’ll start doing even more “unprofessional” things to help you out there <3 /pos

[nyacchiiatos]

my issue with littlest pet shop: a world of our own

hi! as you can see i have a bone to pick with this show, but i'm going to be criticizing the overall premise rather than individual episodes (i can't bring myself to watch any). nothing exactly provoked me to post this, it's just something i felt like ranting about because i always found it pretty strange and sort of like a slap in the face towards those who liked the 2012 series. very long post incoming 😭

first of all, the entire concept of AWOOO (im going to refer to it as that because the title is way too annoying to type out each time) in context of lps' brand as a whole doesn't make sense. hasbro refers to it (in a backhanded way to jab at 2012) as "a pet-only world made by pets, for pets." this premise alone is contradictory to the entire lps brand. it's called littlest pet shop, not littlest animal universe. the 2012 show made this work by having an actual pet shop with a daycamp area like you would expect irl. yes, the show had humans which i agree sometimes took over a bit too much, but it's meant to be a city-based slice of life cartoon. the main cast are actual pets, they have owners, they have their own homes, like any pet irl would. that's... why they're called pets. whatever AWOOO was trying to achieve just completely defeats the purpose of a pet shop existing. i have no doubt in my mind that hasbro felt so inclined to sweep 2012 under the rug by rushing this half-assed reboot out as fast as they could to satiate all the "bring back the old lps" commenters. there was literally nowhere online you could view content of the 2012 series in ANY site, without the comments being FLOODED with "bring back the old lps." it got to a point where fans were borderline harassing the hasbro employees, recording themselves calling them on the phone for views and clout, and encouraging others to do the same. and guess what? it worked. instead of continuing working on the show while easily selling toys that fans were more in favor of, hasbro thought it would be a better idea to just completely abandon 2012 as a whole and then proceed to act like it never even existed. there was no good reason for them to not continue producing the show (iirc it had pretty good ratings and was one of the most popular hub shows next to mlp ofc) while also selling toys that would cater to both newer and older fans (granted they probably can't sell multiple generations at a time, but still). so ultimately, they hurried this little reboot to get it out there as fast as they could and passively shit on 2012 while talking about its premise. seriously? "no humans getting in the way anymore! we have a WHOLE NEW lps cast with no big headed humans named blythe or her ugly friends! no more communication barriers, because thats no fun! isnt this show just SO much better than 2012?" they were so ready to just throw the 2012 series and everything related to it in the trash. AWOOO was not made out of love and respect. it was made as a way for hasbro to try and get their fans back by proving just how much better this reboot was in such non-discrete manners. they thought of the quickest and easiest way to regain their audience and ran with it, without ever thinking about how it completely diminishes what all the previous generations stood for.

i was one of the very few people who loved the 2012 lps series since it premiered. being a child on the internet in the early 2010s definitely brought down my happiness when watching the show because of the overwhelming negative feedback it was getting along with the rebrand in general (something im VERY nostalgic for). regardless, i continued to tune in whenever it was on tv and i saw myself growing up with the characters. to say that this show had potential is an understatement. the producers intended to make more seasons and you just knew they wanted to keep it going (this was confirmed btw). they weren't in a hurry to get something better out there, until the "bring back the old lps"ers finally got their way. but honestly? it's not completely unheard of for large companies to eventually cave in to the public opinion if it means they'll make more profit. they were desperate, and it was definitely showing.

one of the things i have the most issues with is how hasbro proceeds to COMPLETELY ignore everything regarding the show nowadays. as some of you know the show's 10th anniversary was last november, which i and many people had participated in a large art collab to celebrate and honor the show's legacy. want to know what hasbro did to celebrate? nothing. absolutely nothing. what's even worse is that michael kopsa, the voice of roger, had passed away very shortly before the shows 10th anniversary. and guess what? complete silence. that's just incredibly disrespectful to be completely honest. someone who brought his best work to your show and others on the same network (if im remembering correctly at least) and was such a joy to be around, and this is how you thank him? not a single piece of acknowledgement, all because you're too scared to ever talk about 2012 again because of the scary older fans that persuaded you to pull the plug on the whole thing? you weren't even willing to make one little post offering your condolences? oh because you just can't ever mention that show ever again, it'll spark those negative comments just like before. and you've made it abundantly clear that you care more about profiting off these people than having some kind of self awareness.

i apologize that this got so heavy, i've always wanted to properly write down my honest thoughts about this whole thing because ive been unhappy with it for years and years now. if you like AWOOO, i don't care. i wont give you a hard time for liking it, because the show itself isnt inherently bad. just what went on behind it is what bothers me so much. the fact that hasbro can completely ignore their own creation for what... 7 years now? is beyond my comprehension. they can keep pretending it never existed, but small groups of people online have been rediscovering this show and remembering how much they loved it when they were younger. you had a good thing going here hasbro, it sucks that you had to completely abandon it. but i think i can speak for a few people that this show has always and will always hold a special place in my heart and my childhood memories. even if we can't get more from it, we shouldn't forget to appreciate and cherish what we did get. and nobody can take that away.

[distant--shadow]

I don’t know how to reconcile my love for Imodna and my fear that they’re going to not be end game… which is causing me a fear of purchasing artworks. Do you have any advice?

I’m afraid I’ll do it, hang it, love it and be completely heartbroken and want/need to take it down. OR, they do end up together, I don’t buy the art and then the art won’t be available that long down the line. I have stress and fear..

Sorry if this is dumb

hey there! first off, it ain't dumb. I know I freak out a little bit at the reality of when this campaign will be over, and I was the same with c2, jester was my character of all time and I had been watching live since the first episode aired, it's a lot of time to spend with a character/characters and real understandable to feel that way. it's always bittersweet, but life moves on

and I guess that's it, you have to enjoy what you enjoy whilst you have it. this is a show that's a lot like life, in that your favourite character could easily die one week without much rhyme or reason, no scripted foreshadowed build up. so give yourself to enjoying that thing whilst its here, share that enjoyment with others, and know that in the future there won't be an empty void - there will be something else.

speaking from the point of view of an artist, yeah, of course I think any of us would really appreciate the support, it's rough times, and once again, i can say from experience it's real nice to have that artwork there to see whilst you care about it. enriched environment and all that. and it's hard to say who's enthusiasm will stay, whether the couple is still together in canon or not, or once the show is over. I'm not someone who dabbles in more than one fandom at a time and this is the most I've committed myself to one, personally, but also personally, I'm a slutty aromantic so like whilst I do really care for imodna as a ship and all of that, it's kinda always been Imogen first for me. a whole lot of us were invested in them as a couple before it happened, I'm sure a lot of us would have been invested in it regardless, and we can still love what we were given either way. I love the story of it, I think for me the bump in the road makes it even more interesting, and something we haven't really been given by a CR romance during the campaign before (maybe we had in c1 idk I didn't watch it)

also, getting personal again, I'm also old enough to be of a generation where there wasn't a lot of queer rep. there was a lot of settling for subtle glances and heavy subtext. what we've had already has been so good, I really enjoy it, I love that we're already passed a time of like, well we don't have a lot of queer rep so everything we do has to be all lawful good alligned flowers and smiles and basically rebranded heteronormative fairytale romance but with coming-out grief, it's so far from beauyasha baybeeeee endgame and honestly for me that's perfect. these two have always had great charisma acting together and I love the layers and complexities we get from these two particular characters working out being in a romantic relationship with the burdens they carry, those years they had together before the campaign started and all of that ground we can play with, how they saved eachother...

have fun, try not to stress about being legitimised by others, enjoy your corners of fandom and fic and art and meta and interactions and your own conclusions and attractions and relations. take all the joy you can from the little things in life. make them as big as you want them to be.

[herwrittenuniverse]

Happy 1 Year AO3 Anniversary to me!

Yes, I'm that weirdo that remembers the one year anniversary of joining AO3. 23, however, is my favorite number, and it was also the beginning of the school year - I think that's why it's so distinct!

Last year, I was looking to do more things that I love, so I said "fuck it" and decided to post a chapter to a fic I hadn't updated in years and years on a different fanfiction website. A longtime reader/ fanfic author @butterflydreaming-writes-fic contacted me and basically said, "Girl, you gotta get on AO3. It's where it's at!" And one year later, here we are!

Here are some totals for you...

Of course, I know some other authors have higher stats then me, and that's okay. I'm proud that in just a year, I've accumulated over 1000 kudos, over 200 bookmarks, and over 21,000 hits. It's very gratifying.

I have 23 stories in total, but not all of them of new. Some are old ones that I reposted from a different website. Out of those 23, 9 are Cardcaptor Sakura, 2 are Final Fantasy VII, and a whopping 12 are of The Dragon Prince (with more to come on the way! I'm in the groove now.)

My most popular story based on hits is Lunation, my interpretation of the reconciliation between Rayla and Callum. I worked the hardest on this fic and am happy to see it still remains at my most popular piece. (Although, some of the shorter, sillier ones from S5 are quickly approaching its numbers, and I admit I will be kind of sad if it's no longer at the top! 😂) On the other end, my least popular is Red Lite, Green Lite, which is a silly little fic about Vincent Valentine going about Midgar trying to get a cigarette. It's quite funny.

The first not-reposted original story was Promises, Promises - a take on Callum's fatal promise to Rayla. ("You have to kill me.") I've never written such an action-packed piece and I am pretty proud of it. Even when rereading it, I still feel the urgent tone that carries itself throughout the story.

My most underrated fic is definitely To Those Who Crossed Over, a weirdly experimental story about how Touya from CCS - a naturally gifted clairvoyant - comes face-to-face with another medium, causing some interesting in-depth insight about Yue. While it's not the norm, it definitely is an interesting read.

In the next year, I would love to post some other fandoms (like RWBY, for example) and perhaps continue/expand on the CCS fic To Love Another. It's a story about Touya coming to terms with who Yukito/Yue are as a person. It is definitely the most quietly popular fic, with no comments but 96 kudos and 18 bookmarks.

Also, I want to simply continue to write. I put a lot of pressure on myself when it comes to fanfiction. Character and canon accuracy are important to me, but I am slowly realizing that fanfiction can be whatever you want it to be. And that's the beauty of it.

Remember, fanfiction writers do it for nothing except the love of our fandom. We take time out of our days to pour our hearts into stories for you to read. I'm so grateful to AO3, as the website allows us a safe space to do that. (I always donate when the time comes, and if you read or write on AO3, you should too!)

In the past year, I rebranded and created my online personal as HerWrittenUniverse because I felt like I was entering another era of fandom. In addition, fanfiction has personally opened up so many door for me. It's giving me a healthy way to express my love for a fandom, challenged me to increase my writing skills, and opened up doors to friendships that I never though possible. So thank you to Cris for kicking my butt and getting me on AO3, thank you to my fellow fandom friends for supporting me (and everyone else!), and thank you to the readers. Fanfiction writers create for themselves - but the support is always nice, too!

Cheers to another year on AO3!

[just-a-carrot]

Hey! Just a heads up, I'm sending this to multiple people, since I wanna get as many different viewpoints on this as I can. I hope this doesn't bother you. Also, this is pretty long.

So, I have a question about gamedev, but more on the marketing/presence side.

Most gamedevs I know, even hobbyist ones, keep their accounts relatively professional. Sure, they may shitpost here and there, but it's mostly in relation to their games, the gamedev sphere in general, or very general inoffensive stuff. And, most importantly, I've seldom seen my favorite gamedevs (or any of my favorite internet personalities, for that matter) comment on random videos unrelated to what type of content they usually post.

All of my social media accounts are quite unprofessional. I've also had them for a long time, so there are a few things on my digital footprint that I'd rather people not see. I also, for lack of a better way of explaining, watch and read random shit and like to leave comments on it sometimes.

I feel like, I were to become a gamedev, I wouldn't be able to do that anymore. I'd have to treat my internet presence as its own balancing act, rather than a place for me to express myself unabashedly. I know this is working under the assumption that I would get big and that people would give a damn about me, but there is always the off chance of that happening. Of a random game you make suddenly blowing up because it hit the algorithm just right. So it's better to be prepared. And even if I don't get that big boom in popularity, I still plan to at least make games consistently enough to build a community of their own. Nothing like, huge, but I really enjoy the idea of people enjoying my work and sharing that enjoyment with others. But I don't want that to cross over into my personal life!

I know that's not an impossible feat, but I feel like it kind of destroys the purpose of the internet for me. To me, it's always been a safe space where I could express myself and easily connect with people with similar viewpoints, but I am now coming to odds with this concept as I consider how I want to become a gamedev.

There's also the side note that I don't wanna rebrand. At least not completely. I don't mind cleaning up my accounts or deleting some old ones, but I've grown very attached to being "Quamai". I can't imagine myself having any other online identity, even if there are some cringy moments attached to it.

So, do you have any advice for my situation? How did you personally go about your own online image, and what do you think is the best course of action?

Thank you in advance!

oh gosh what a question ldkjfadl

hmmmm

putting this under a cut because it got long and rambly lakdfa

for me personally i don't think i've ever made that many "right" choices when it comes to how i handle my online presence in game dev, it was mostly just me doing what seemed like the right thing to do at the time. it's also changed a lot all throughout my time as a dev

tho i guess the main thing is that i did create a whole new game dev online identity, so to speak, when i first got into game dev. this wasn't really due to any purposeful thought put into it though and was more just because 1) i didn't really have much online identity anyway at the time and 2) in the beginning i was trying to be more "professional" LOL

when i released easter, i did it without any presence at all. i had no accounts or anything. i literally just finished the game and threw it up on itch and gamejolt using the new studio name i had come up with based on an inside work joke. it wasn't until i started to get a few people talking about the game or linking to it/making vids that i was like hmmm i should have a twitter maybe LOL so like a week later i made a twitter. but i barely posted on it, it was just responding to other people. a year later when i released the 2.0 update i also made a few posts. then thought i might start using it more so started posting just a few random updates of new stuff i was trying out/working on (this was when i made my first couple of posts about early OW stuff)

but then when i shifted out of game dev again for a while, i abandoned it

it wasn't until august of 2021 that i began actively using my account again to post production updates for work on ow. but back then i was a lot more "emotionless" for lack of a better word. like i approached it in a more no-nonsense way than i do today. i also never got that much response from it either, usually lucky to get like 2 or 3 likes on stuff 🤣 over the course of that first year or so though i would change a lot in how i handled my online stuff, acting much more like myself, interacting a lot more with people, and getting increasingly more unhinged(???) LOL perhaps because i'd begun to see that being "super professional" when i'm just a little random person making a game all by myself there's no reason to be so stiff (and it's just much more fun and genuine to not be afraid to be myself and be a bit silly). over this time was also when i'd shift away from using my studio name and just taking the "carrot" identity. because i realized i didn't like people thinking about me as an impersonal studio and wanted to just be me, carrot, interacting with people, making games, and getting unhinged about my chars and stories

is this the right way to do it???? i have no idea. but perhaps since i never have any aspirations of grandeur and don't plan to be any kind of business, it's fine for me. and while it's true that i don't like to post, reblog, interact with, content unrelated to my games or other VN stuff, that's mostly because i don't want to annoy people who i know only follow me for game stuff (i worry about annoying people a lot, actually, it might be one of the core foundations for how i handle myself online LMAO). i don't have any other presence online though. once i started my game dev stuff, carrot became me, and it's all that's out there. so it's not like i need to "separate" anything. but also i'm not a very avid user of social media in general so it's not like i have an active desire to have different accounts so i can tweet about or comment on other stuff lakdjfasd i'm an old socially anxious duck who gets mentally exhausted just scrolling my feed. i don't need to spend any more time online than i already do with my game dev stuff hahaha. i do know some other devs though for instance that have private accounts on twitter just for their friends and more personal thoughts. so that's always an option too

as for what you should do in your own situation with your own online presence, i'm not really sure, as it all comes down to what you want. for me, since i didn't have much presence anyway, and because i wanted my game dev stuff to be its own thing, it made sense for me to create a new presence just for game dev (that eventually evolved into my entire self LKDJFAS). so it's hard for me to say what would be the best course of action if you already have an online presence that forms a core part of your identity that you don't want to lose. it also depends on what you want to eventually do with your games and if you see yourself really wanting to pursue it actively and make it a big part of your life. most devs that i know do have "game dev" presences for lack of a better word, where if you go to their accounts, it's just for game dev. or they create studios and studio accounts. i think no matter what you decide to do, even if you keep the name the same, it would probably be best to at least keep your game dev stuff separate, because people could potentially be put off from following an account for games but then their feed gets filled with a lot of non-game stuff from you that they don't care about

no matter what you decide to do though, i recommend being yourself no matter what. whether you keep with your same identity or craft a new game dev only one, still do what feels right for you on that account and be yourself and have fun with it!! game dev can already be such an isolating and hard experience, so creating a space where you can be silly and have fun with other devs and fun with your chars and ideas can really help so much to give you motivation and just enjoy your time creating games!!!

(sorry if this was a complete ramble that didn't even still fully answer the question; i can only speak from my own personal experiences that i went through after all and i don't really have any good or professional answers since i also have no idea what i'm doing most of the time 🤣)

[missr3n3]

Ctda is so fun I love it.. is there any details/ hcs you have about the characters you wanna share?

sorry for taking so long to respond, but you've activated my trap card and i needed to be at my computer so i could write this essay of a response lol

im gonna do one for each character:

jonah: though he used be be more into psychedelics as a teenager, ever since the events of vol. 2 and cdta he's entirely stopped using them. there's just to much fuel for a potential bad trip. he's also stopped drinking (though he was never did it that often in the first place) and doesn't smoke weed as often bc sarah and evelin don't want him stinking up their apartment.

adam: his black hoodie (not the BPS one) has become a comfort item for him. because he didn't have it on while he was in the Nightmare Sand Pit and was at his most vulnerable, he associates not wearing it with being in danger. since he's wearing it basically all the time though, it's gotten really worse for wear and has quite a few holes in it, which jonah helpfully fixed with various patches (you'll see them when i drop the 2011 cdta designs lol)

thatcher: since he's now a certified Old Ass Man (in his early 50s), he's fully stopped trying to look profession or trendy and has gone back to his old grunge fashion sense from the 90s. luckily, most people think this is cool af, and in particular it entertains some of the kids that ride his bus route bc they think he's an old Kurt Cobain lol

evelin: i kind of alluded to this in clear the stone chapter 3, but she and jonah didn't get along at first because she's very straight edge and he's very not. since their re-introduction in clear the stone and the events of cdta, she's a bit more understanding of his drug use (though still not entirely comfortable with it). nowadays she considers jonah to be just as close a friend to her as sarah <3

sarah: mandela getting blown tf up has actually significantly helped her with regards to moving on from her brother's death. though she can't quite put her finger on why, she as a general sense that his soul is at peace now. as a result, she intends to rebrand BPS from a paranormal investigation group to more of a horror webseries thing. she even renames the youtube channel to the bythorne paranormal show!

alt!gabriel: as far as the cdta timeline goes, he created the alternates for the sole purpose of furthering his takeover plan. alternates in this story are straight-up demons as a result, and this might come into play in an interesting way in the sequel... 👀

six: so i've mentioned before that he's an entirely separate alien in the cdta timeline that started working with alt!gabriel as a means to an end since they have similar goals (also dropped in dms that this happened in the 1920s). the reason for this is that his species feeds on pain, and alternates are really good at causing a lot of mental and sometimes physical pain. though with the alternates gone and type 6s doing a shit job at killing humans, his kind are now looking into other avenues for a food supply :)

sam: if he were voiced, i imagine he'd sound like steven as he sounds in steven universe future. pretty nerdy but with a little bit of rasp to it and a hint of theater kid lol. also! he's 6'4 and is the tallest human in cdta!

delilah: before her reversion (official temporal phenomena term for the changes type 6s went through), her alternate instincts would mainly come out in her being an obnoxious know-it-all. the type to "well AKSHUALLY 🤓" everyone around her over the slightest inaccuracies. also never admitting when she was wrong and assuming the people calling her out were just too stupid to understand her genius. basically what i'm saying is she would've love rick and morty before the reversion lol

and as a special bonus:

joel: he actually started mystifying oracle to try and prove that the paranormal didn't exist, but when he realized how many views he was getting from believers, he pivoted to over-the-top shows of the effects of the ouija board. of course it also helps that he has an actual demon in his house lol.

chloe: she met joel in college! they're both studying film, and thus shared a lot of the same classes together. joel ended up dropping out once youtube started making money for him, but they'll still meet up from time to time, especially if there's a new horror movie they want to see!

[aroaceconfessions]

TW: slurs, death threats, typical bullying stuff

on my 11th birthday, during 5th grade, there was this giant fight between my classmates because a friend of my bully told my friend that he liked her but because she was associated with me, his friends got mad at him and then my friend's friend got mad at him which caused his friends to be mad at her and it sorta spiraled from there with my classmates getting into fights over crushes and I watched the chaos unfold

at the time, I didn't know that I was aro, and both at the time and now I thought it was an over-exaggeration, but I still don't quite think that would've been the normal situation if my bullies weren't so dramatic so it's probably not an allo thing and was just a "these specific people are weird" kinda thing

anyway, because of this fight, people started making assumptions about who had a crush on who, it was weird, but eventually someone got to me and assumed I had a crush on my bully and I was so genuinely hurt by that that I almost punched the guy in the face, the only thing stopping me was school rules against physical violence (verbal death threats and drawing yourself murdering a classmate are okay but tag is banned bc someone tagged a little too hard once).

I've seen so many other aros talk about how enemies to lovers is the superior trope, but as someone with experience of having someone that wanted me dead, tried to get everyone else to turn against me, and frankly made my life a living hell while I also hated him for what he would do to me and wanted so badly for him to disappear (aka, an enemy), I could never get behind the enemies to lovers trope. To me, it sounds like rebranded "he's only bullying you because he likes you!" I see nothing wrong with liking stories like that but the amount of the conversation that goes "it is objective fact that enemies to lover is the only good romance trope" is troubling to me (or even worse: "much more relatable/realistic"). It's never "I like enemies to lovers more than other tropes," it is always objective language used. It feels like that classmate telling me that I must have a crush on the guy that called me dyke and fag because that's "just how it works." I'm not mad at anyone who likes the enemies to lovers trope, there is no possible way they could know who I am or how it affects me and I'm not gonna tell someone to stop enjoying something because I don't like it. I know people are going to get defensive about this so I want to make it very clear that I have no ill will to anyone and maybe you don't see this trope this way and that's fine, fiction is very much open to interpretation. I just wanted to get my thoughts about it out there and maybe there will be someone who can relate, maybe I can help others who feel the same feel less alone.

this is also not a invitation to argue or debate this with me, I could never be in the right headspace to defend how my trauma affected me, so please don't tell me I'm wrong about something this subjective and personal. I'm not trying to say anyone who likes enemies to lovers is wrong or morally corrupted or that they've never been bullied or harassed, this is just my experience. I know I sound like a broken record with that but I really just want to make it clear.

[that-wildwolf]

You should definitely write Garrus reacting to Shepard with dyed blue hair, like he walks into her quarters and suddenly sees her with blue hair, I think he would worry thinking she's sick -like what does blue mean in your human girlfriend? - and then Shepard explaining, it would be fun. If you don't feel comfortable writing it you don't have to, just an idea that occurred to me while looking at the post. PS: I loved the drawing, you really draw well❤️PS 2: I like the ideas of the pirate AU ;)

Anon this is written specially for you

"Hey, honey, I'm home!" Shepard calls out.

Garrus smiles immediately, prepared to hug her as soon as she comes into his view, but stops when he sees her.

"Shepard...?" He clicks his mandibles, surprised.

He almost doesn't recognise her.

Her usually flame-red hair is a dark shade of blue now  which not only looks unnatural but also unnerving. She's acting as though nothing is wrong... Does she not know? He has no idea how to ask about this. What does sudden colour change mean in humans? Is she sick? Will this go away on its own or should they do something about it? And would it be rude to ask?

Hesitantly, he takes a small step in her direction.

"Are you alright?"

Shepard blinks — clearly, that's not the question she was prepared to hear.

"I, uh... Yeah, I'm fine." She tilts her head. "You... didn't notice anything new?"

"Your, uh..." Garrus feels his throat run dry as he vaguely waves his hand at her head. He's not sure if pointing this out wouldn't offend her. He has no idea how to act in this situation. Really, what did this mean? "Your... hair... is different," he manages to stutter out eventually.

Shepard smiles.

"Do you like it?"

"I, ah..." Garrus stares at her like she was a fool. Or perhaps he's the fool here, because his brain is working extremely slowly right now. "You... did this? On purpose?"

"Oh, wow. Does it look that bad?"

"No, no, you just—!" Garrus shuts his eyes. Yeah, he could have worded that a bit differently. "You look different. I... had no idea you can just... change it."

It's actually making him wonder if the red he's always associated with her was her natural colour in the first place. He'd never seen another human with red hair like Shepard's.

"Can I ask... why?"

Shepard purses her lips. "I wanted a change," she says quietly. "The world is changing, Garrus. I don't feel like I have the same place in it as before. And, well, blue is pretty much the opposite of red. Which is..." Her smile falls. "...important to me."

Garrus narrows his eyes. So Shepard's trying to rebrand herself for times of peace... And probably trying to escape her past. People recognise her by that flame red hair as if it's some damn trademark or something. And Garrus knows perfectly well how Shepard feels about being recognisable. It's no wonder she would want to take that distinguishing feature away, really. It's not a big stretch. But then why not a less conspicouos colour? Surely a blue-haired human would still stand out from the crowd. And he thought that wasn't what she wanted.

"Why blue?"

"I like blue." She gives him a small smile as her hand strokes his mandible. "Actually, it might be my favourite colour these days."

"Always know what to say, huh, Shepard?" Garrus's words are a rumbling purr, laced with amusement that rings through even over his subvocals.

She gives him a cocky smirk.

"Don't I? Besides, I wanted it to..." She blushes a deep shade of red that contrasts with the blue of her hair in a strange way. "Um... Well... I thought this colour could... match your colony markings." She quickly looks away.

"Ah." Garrus clears his throat, not sure how else to react. "So it does."

Of course. That's it. He curses himself for not recognising that colour earlier: he sees it in the mirror every day.

His colour.

His blue. Her red. It always felt like they swirled around each other with those colours clashing around either on their bodies, their clothes, or their armour. They never merged, there had never been purple in their relationship. It had always been a wonderful clash of red and blue, of Shepard and Vakarian.

So seeing Shepard in blue, his blue, right now is messing with his head completely. He's not even sure if it's in a good way or not. It's not hers. At least he doesn't think it is. It's always been his, and that breach of the line that separated them is making his plates itch.

"Are you mad?" Shepard wrinkles her forehead. No doubt she's trying her best to read his emotions. He's trying to read them, too.

"Mad?" He scrunches up his nose. "No, I'm not mad. Surprised? Yeah. But not mad."

"Do you like it?"

"I don't know." Garrus swallows nervously. "...Can I touch?"

"Of course."

Shepard rolls her eyes as if that answer is obvious. Maybe one day he'll finally get it into his head that he doesn't need to ask her for these things. Maybe. For now, he's asking. He's being careful. Because after everything she's been through, she deserves to be treated carefully. Gently. She's never experienced gentleness in her life and Garrus thinks that maybe it's high time he started giving it to her... Now that they're finally in a position where he can.

He runs his fingers through her hair. It doesn't feel any different than it did when it was red. It still flows like silk between his talons. Still so soft and perfect.

"Do you like it?"

"Hm." Garrus cocks his head to the side. "I think I can see myself warming up to it." She did this for you. He closed his eyes. "I love it. Blue suits you."

Shepard puts her hands on his waist and quickly kissed him on the nose. She smiles.

"I know."

[tobiasdrake]

So what does the Money Sink actually do? Gonna find that out, and then it's time to use this demon crown.

Apparently we're going in, Plumber Style. Gonna be honest, I thought it was as simple as throwing Shards down a hole to watch them plink plank away. Apparently there's more to this.

Holy shit, this is the motherlode of Time Shards. Are you, like, melting them down to reforge them or something? Where did you find a Time Chunk this huge!?

...come to think of it, this might be... like, sustaining the Tower's timey-wimeyness. Or a byproduct of it. It makes sense that the Tower would be producing even more crystallized time loop fuckery than the regular time loop is.

To be fair, most people carrying out a massacre wouldn't think to check down the drain of the kitchen sink. Credit where it's due, that was smart thinking on your part.

Or it would have been if the drain hadn't clogged.

Were you born with the name Iron Hood and this was a serendipitous development in your life choices, or did you rebrand after joining the blue monks?

Come to think of it, that's a good question for Prophet and Shopkeeper too.

Honestly, I use them so frequently that I forget they aren't a standard ability of ninjutsu. I can't imagine life without them. Which is probably the highest praise possible for a piece of gear. Good work.

Fuck me, I spent all my Shards getting the Money Sink open. Goddammit. I wish I'd known Artificer had the Money Wrench sooner. I can't believe I wasted 3.5k on that stupid wrench when I could have wasted my Shards here instead!

...you don't mind if I start chipping away at your-- No, of course you mind. Okay. Fine. I'll be back.

More importantly, I have business to attend to.

This portal to our corrupted future requires an incredible demonic essence to open, according to Artificer. Just so happens I have here the, uh, spoils of conquest so to speak.

Let it stare. I know I'm gorgeous.

What the actual fuck....

Okay, the Dweller gook all over the place, I get that. And the colossal doom tentacles reaching into the sky. This is our world being devoured by a World Eater, I guess?

But there are people falling into the World Eater's maw. How? How are there still enough people alive in this world that they can be filtered in like fish flakes? Where are all of these victims coming from?

Appreciate it. I have a feeling there's not much in the way of help to be found here otherwise.

Not sure why the past of the corrupted future is empty space. I could understand the future of the corrupted future being empty space, since I'm pretty sure this whole planet's going to be gobbled up until there's nothing left but a void in the Sea of Stars where life once existed. But not sure why the past would be.

Oh, wow. I think Aephorul took it personally when Luana wanted to cut his head off and stress-test his immortality. He just threw the moon in the ocean in the other world. That is the kind of display that reeks of furious stress relief. He must have been chipping away at it for hours.

Honestly, this has been a surprisingly pleasant jaunt. In terms of mortal peril, this is probably the coziest expedition I've had since I became the Messenger.

Which, I suppose, makes a degree of sense. The world is already destroyed and in the process of being consumed. It's not like there's much use for deathtraps and soldiers here. Aephorul has other fish to fry.

Burble burble? Did I speak too soon? Is there a guard of some kind or--

...NO. I REFUSE.

FUCK ME IT'S THE WORLD EATER

I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK I TAKE IT BACK

I WANNA GO HOME I DON'T WANNA BE HERE

YOU DON'T WANT TO EAT ME I TASTE LIKE STALE WOODCHIPS AND ARMPIT SWEAT

.....................................

[loublu8]

can you just ramble? ramble for as long as you want. as a fellow late 00s brit who's into some of the same interests as you (specifically vida the vet, charlie and lola, me too, balamory, abadas, and literally just any other cbeebies show i grew up with) i'd love to hear it!

if it's a ramble you want, a ramble you shall get. In other words here's like, my complete history with CBeebies. As a 08' kid, I was born in a weird transitional period for the channel. This was one year after they introduced the now iconic blocks of Get Set Go, Discover and Do and Big Fun Time, and Chris and Pui were going to move on from pres in 09' to work on Show Me Show Me. Postman Pat was just fresh from it's big SDS overhaul, which people either loved or hated (I think I liked it as a kid but looking back on it, it's nothing to get worked up over IMO, I just don't get why Pat can do James Bond-esque stunts now and is perfectly content riding a motorcycle.). Oh, and there was this little show about a garden of the night that began the year prior, I doubt that you've heard of it. Yeah, In the Night Garden was probably the first major CBeebies show I remember getting obsessed with, and looking back at it? I honestly don't know why. It's not a bad show at all, don't get me wrong, but I don't know why I was so obsessed over it to the point of having this dancing Igglepiggle toy as a kid.

Also, I remember loving the Hahoos as a young'un, part because a CBeebies magazine I got ages ago had little Hahoo toys. I took them on holiday to Turkey with me, yeah can you tell I'm autistic? I don't think I have them anymore, and if I do they're probably all scuffed up and missing paint. But that's okay, I can easily buy them on eBay to fill a place in 2 year old me's hear- HOW MUCH FOR 5 SMALL PIECES OF PLASTIC?

Yeah I didn't know these things were going for this much until my mum saw someone on Facebook ranting on how stupid expensive they are nowadays about a year ago. Anyways, on the topic of CBeebies' Bedtime Hour (and A Quarter nowadays), there's one elephant in the room I must discuss, the closedown screen.

This slightly green thing telling you to get some sleep absolutely terrified me as a kid though, it wasn't on the same level as the Eastenders theme's doofs and Christmas crackers if I remember correctly, but it still gave me PTSD for years on end. (Hey, at least I wasn't around for when the channel started, I really wanna meet whoever thought it was a great idea to make this screen bright blinding pink right after the goodnight song settled everyone down, just so I can tell them how dumb that idea was.)

Like all things I was spooked of as a kid, I got over it when I was getting nostalgic for the brand. Speaking of closedown screens, how is the closedown screen for the 2023 rebrand really good? Like, it would make a great screensaver without the text. You can say what you want about the new logo (which I think is fine, it fits in with the rest of the modern BBC branding so it succeeds in that aspect), but you gotta admit they did a really good job with revamping the idents for the channel.

Anyways, onto more of my favourite CBeebies shows. Charlie and Lola is easily up there as one of my favourites. It'sMy mum distinctly recalls taking me to the live stage show (which, live stage shows are a whole other can of worms I can talk about), and I couldn't remember much about it so I researched it, and it looks like they did a ridiculously good job of translating the show to a stage play while keeping the show's unique artstyle.

Balamory, obviously as a CBeebies viewer prior to 2016, I know what a Balamory is. I don't need to explain it. Though one weird memory I have is I remember going past the local barbers one day and seeing a Balamory rerun airing. I dunno why they showed CBeebies in the barbers of all places. On the other hand, Me Too!, which to me always felt like Balamory, but a wee bit worse (because that's exactly what it was!), and I don't remember my exact feelings towards it as a kid, but as a teenager, I became obsessed with it after found the Me Too! YouTube channel after I was pretty much done binge-watching Abadas. It quickly became my main comfort show, like if I'm not in the mood for anything else, just stick an episode of Me Too! on, there's like 150 episodes and I'm not sure if I've even seen over half of them. I've seen more MT! eps than Balamory though, probably cause it's more easily accessible. With Balamory, you gotta go on the internet archive for episodes of that. Abadas was one of the shows I distinctly remembered the intro for, though I misremembered it with Baby Jake of all shows (they came out around the same time). I went and revisited it one January day in 2023, around the time I was starting to put my Bubble Guppies hyperfix on the backseat as the show was about to end, and instantly fell in love with it. Really wish the production company behind the show didn't go bust as there was a lot of cool supplementary material with the show as well, they did a bunch of shorts on Vimeo which I happily recommend.

Eventually, I fell out of CBeebies around 2014 or so as, well, I was getting older and was ready to move on to more grown up shows (this is coming from the same kid who kept actively watching Nick Jr. well into his teenage years). But then I was channel surfing at my nan's around October 2019 or so and decided to stick CBeebies on for fun after deciding whatever was being shown on Challenge was too boring, I guess. Something Special was probably the show that launched me back into my CBeebies hyperfix, yea of all shows. Completely forgot the show used Makaton and as someone who was interested in sign language I went on a binge-spree to study all of Justin's signs. I became fairly competent at it. I got into Hey Duggee for a a bit as well, known as every parent's lifeline apparently. The game show episode is one of my favourites, mostly due to all the fun references they crammed into the episode. As a fan of the shows we people call game, it was a fun surprise. I also rediscovered some of my old childhood favourites that were still getting reruns. Swashbuckle was a bit too recent for me to have recalled watching it as a kid but my brother was certainly around for it and Tree Fu Tom, which was still rerunning at the time. Charlie and Lola still aired reruns, and back in 2019 I kinda just glanced at without much thought before realising a few years later that it was actually really good. Night Garden made me cry of nostalgia, and I also thought Baby Jake was the biggest feverdream ever conceived on television. I even was one of the weirdo's who listened to CBeebies Radio, though honestly there's no point in listening to it live as you can find all it's content on the Sounds app. Admittedly, I haven't gotten super into Bluey. Y'know, the most popular preschool show of this decade that didn't begin in this decade? Yeah I watched about 10-15 episodes of it, said "wow, this is one of the best preschool shows ever crafted", and then moved on to watching the same 40 Blue's Clues & You! episodes again. I'm sure if I force myself to binge watch it more I'll fall head over heels in love with it though. So if I haven't gone crazy for Bluey, what modern CBeebies shows have I gone crazy for? Funnily enough, two that released within the span of around 5 months. The Game Catchers was the first one I got into. I just kept binging episodes and instantly fell in love with it. Always thought the show's main concept was really, REALLY good. Teaching kids about outdoor games in the day and age of iPads is a really smart move. Don't really see many people in the fanbase yet unfortunately, it's certainly one my favourite CBeebies shows from the last 5 years. Also it has absolutely ruined me as any time I hear or say the phrase "so cute" I immediately have to connect it to Nina.

Vida on the other hand I pretty naturally got into. I checked it out, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was pretty good, but never intended it to become my next big hyperfixation. I was sooooooo wrong. I've always had a soft spot for shows with cute animals (Was a big LPS 2012 fan way back when) so naturally this was always destined to be a show I'd fall in love with. I also love all the characters in the show too. Pippen's my personal favourite, but Zigzag is a REALLY close second though. She's a cute bunny who canonically has ADHD. What's not to love.

Okay I think I've talked enough and I've been typing this out for like, 2 hours, I really need some sleep. I could talk about all sorts of other CBeebies shows I enjoy (LazyTown, Tish Tash, JoJo & Gran Gran, Carrie & David's Popshop's a more recent one I've binged from the days of old) but I've talked enough so yeah.

[raccoon-formality]

2024 Commitment

(this is a re-post from Patreon)

Hello,

This is Matthew and I am here to talk about some stuff regarding this Patreon account.

Let me start with the less than good news. I would like to apologize for neglecting my obligations near the end of last year. Parking Ticket Mayhem and Scaling Up Industries did not include Patreon member mentions and I also didn't release early access versions of those games either. Although right now I believe most people supporting me are friends who would support me anyways, it is still a level of disrespect and negligence to your support that I would not like to continue going forward.

So, that leads quite smoothly into the changes I am making. Starting 2024, I am making a commitment to myself to be more professional. I will be taking my commitments more seriously and will be moving forward with more transparency. This restructuring coincides with the rebranding I am doing.

Games from now on won't be published unless the Patreon member mention is added somewhere. I will also been setting a reminder to publish regular written progress reports (either monthly or bi-weekly, to be determined). These reports will be public and probably will be able to be posted on multiple platforms for your convenience. At the same time, the most recent early access versions of my games will be published if applicable. Game jam games or short projects (under 2 weeks) won't get early access versions.

To that point, I want to do more long term projects. Heavy trucking was the only project I spent more than a month on and I think it would be a good idea for me to do more of them. This type of project would be what I would be releasing early access to. I have a couple ideas for larger projects I want to make. That is part of the reason why I am making these changes. Whatever I do end up making, I want to make sure that this is sustainable for long term commitments. 

You may have also noticed the new logo and redesigned website, this is part of the rebrand I mentioned earlier. I really want to make this year the year I do big things. I want to make this dumb hobby project mine into a brand that can be recognized for it's quality, consistency, and commitment to transparency.

So, with all that out of the way, let me get into what I'm actually doing.

Yesterday, I published The Pig Pen, a small, minimalist arcade action game. This game is a landmark for, among other things (First to fulfill the commitment of patreon thanks, first to have the new logo. first game I've made to have an online leaderboard, First godot 4 game, ect.), being submitted to the first ever game jam I have hosted. The jam was called One Last Game 2023 and it took place between the 29th of December to the 1st of January. This game jam was not only a success, it completely blew expectations out of the water. With over 100 people joining and over 30 entries.

As for my other projects, Scaling Up Industries was a ton of fun to make, gained me a bunch of experience with working in teams, and I believe we made a really quality game considering the time restraints. Parking Ticket Mayhem exploded in popularity right after it's launch, it is now sitting at ~8,700 views on itch.io and another 8,100 views on newgrounds.

Heavy Trucking has made $304.69 (USD) to date, most (about $208.59) of which coming in the first few weeks. It has also gone on sale during itch.io's offical halloween sale and winter sale (which is still going on during the time of writing), making $46.60 and $24.50 (gross USD) respectively. Leaving $25 of copies that were sold for full price. Of this, ~7% goes to payment processors, ~10% has been chosen to go to itch.io, and then ~24% is taken by the tax man. Leaving ~$200 net. ~$40 went to getting me a new mouse after my dumb stupid razer mouse started double clicking and flaking out one me.

I am planning on making and maintaining a page on my website for statistics for people to look at so they can see how many videos, downloads, money, ect. my games make. Transparency is important to me because I believe withholding information only leads to speculation and conspiracy. Which is why (most of) my projects are on github.

Speaking of github, that is another thing I would like to talk about. All of my projects will be published publicly on github with two exceptions. One, if the game has online or proprietary software in it (such as The Pig Pen with it's online leaderboard or if I published a game on console, which i doubt will happen this year, that will probably not be allowed to be published). This is to ensure safety with these online services and so I don't get sued by Big Nintendo. Two, if a game contains NSFW (adults only) content. Github has a strict content policy and because of that games with NSFW content would be violating their policy if I were to publish them there. So, to solve that problem, I have made a git.gay account for if I want to do that.

Also, late last year I uploaded the source code for an unfinished project I was working on titled Cranky Raccoon for playdate. I had no plans on finishing it any time soon, so I thought it would be best to publish it on github and let people study it if they wanted to.

Alright, I've been rambling for a while now, so I will give a TL:DR and see you in the next progress report that will hopefully not be as lengthy as there won't be as much to catch up on.

TL:DR - Thank you for your support. Sorry for not doing the things I said I would. 2023 was a great year and I plan on making 2024 even better. More frequent updates are to come.

https://raccoonformality.com/stats