#i'm sure this has been giffed a million times but i had to do it

[taintandviolent]

Taco Tuesday ; Gambit x reader!

summary: You live across the hall from Wade Wilson, and one Tuesday, he invites you over for tacos. 🌮 And that’s where you meet him. The Gambit. Post-Void, everyone got out alive and everything is fine. [PART TWO HERE]

word count & w a r n i n g s: 5.4K | smut with very little plot, alcohol mention, slightly drunk (but very consenting) reader, French and typing out accents/dialects, pet names (cher, mon ami, mon coeur, etc.), dirty talk (cos he is a dirty talker, don't argue with me on this), fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, no use of y/n.

a/n: this is based 100% on Deadpool and Wolverine Gambit / Channing's version of Gambit!! sorry for the lack of plot here, he deserves better than this filth, but I am down ASTRONOMICALLY and I needed to get it out. I spent so much time trying to get his accent right, I hope it comes off the way I wanted it to... anyway! i'm not certain if anyone will read this, but if you do - thank you a million times over! as always, requests are open! - banner by @/strangergraphics, and Remy gif by @scintie!

↓ full fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle of Jack between your legs — wait. Pause. Rewind. How’d we get here?

Living in the same apartment complex as Wade Wilson was a trip. Even more of a trip was living across the hall from him. The things you heard coming from that apartment... nobody would believe you. So, you never told anyone. 

He’s kind. Albeit, zany but kind. Your interactions have been cordial and nauseatingly neighbourly. But on one regular ol' Tuesday afternoon, Wade invited you inside. He said something about having a party later that night, making tacos and being neighborly. He assured you that it wasn't a sex party... which to be honest, you weren't worried about until he'd mentioned it. Against your better judgement though, you'd agreed, and said you'd bring some liquor.

So, that evening, you opened your door, one bottle of Jack tucked under your arm, and another in your left hand. You shut the door to your apartment and walked straight across to your neighbour’s door. Your fist had rapped against the wood only twice before the door swung open, revealing Wade, and a very… strange and very bald looking dog in his arms. 

"Oh, what the fuck?" You asked, looking down at the creature. "I didn't know you had a dog…?"

Wade’s voice rose an octave or two, in a cutesy tone. "She's a new addition, yes she is!" 

"I brought... well, this. Sorry, it was all I had in my cabinets and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't about to go out and spend money on this. I like… barely know you."

"HA! Brutal honesty. We love to hear it." 

Wade took hold of your shoulder and yanked you inside, harsh enough that you made a small sound as he did. He shut the door with his foot, and towed you towards the table, where everyone was gathered. And that was when you first saw him. He wore all black, save for a tan trench coat with a high collar. He lounged casually on one of the dining chairs, playing with a deck of cards. They fluttered from hand to hand effortlessly, and for a moment, you were stuck, mesmerized by the dexterous way he handled them. You weren't sure what was pulling you towards him harder, your heart or your cunt, but you felt an undeniable draw to the man.

Wade's arm wound itself around your shoulders, guiding you around the room to meet each of his friends. At that point, living next to him, mutants were a forced transition. You were used to the concept of them, so meeting a giant silver man, for example, wasn't unexpected. Vanessa was the most normal - you were pretty sure she was human.

Finally, he got to the one you really wanted to meet. The one that your eyes had been darting back and forth to the entire time, the one that when he briefly met your gaze, your heart thudded in your chest. 

"And this... handsome slice of man, is the Gambit. Good luck understanding him, he's a real mouthful."

I’ll bet he is, you thought. 

He pocketed the cards in a quick motion and stood up from his chair. With a syrup-smooth chuckle, the man laughed and said: "You can call me Remy." He did in fact have a thick Cajun accent and spoke quickly – almost too quickly. You blinked once, focusing hard on his words.

"Remy," you repeated finally, before saying your own name and extending your hand. He took it gently and as he shook it, your palm tingled with what felt like electricity.

"Enchanté." (Enchanted)

Your cheeks burned, and you knew they were flushing. You couldn’t control it. "De même..." (Likewise.)

His brows lifted, surprised. "You speak French, mon ami?" (my friend) 

"Heh, uhh... comme un enfant." (Like a child) You chuckled low, averting your eyes for a millisecond. "I took a few years of it in high school and again in college. I’m by no means an expert."

Wade's eyes were wide, flicking back and forth between the two of you. There was obvious chemistry there, and a knowing smirk drew itself across his lips. Abruptly, he yanked one of the bottles of Jack Daniels from beneath your arm, before leaning against the nearby wall.

"Oh, fuck me. You understand Gumbo here? That’s cute. No idea what either of you are saying though, someone forgot to turn the subtitles on. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Whatever that meant. You scoffed, but turned your attention back to Gambit, looking at him.

“Sit a while, cher.” 

You happily took the chair that he pulled out, not caring that it was facing away from the others, and plopped down onto it, situating the other bottle of Jack between your legs. You gripped the neck of the bottle tightly, and looked at him with a timid, but a come hither sort of smile. After a moment, you twisted the cap off, and flicked it off somewhere to your right. Wade would find it later, or he wouldn’t. You didn’t really care. 

You two talked for hours, most of which consisted of him telling you about the Void, and how hard it had been, while you pretended to comprehend it. Between words, you passed the bottle back and forth, taking mouthfuls, and inadvertently swapping spit as you did. The thought occurred to you about halfway through the conversation, and your stomach tightened. You shook your head lightly and clenched your thighs together, trying to stave off the arousal that was bubbling in your core. 

There we go. That’s better.

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle, which was still situated between your legs. His fingertips just graze the side of your thigh and his eyes flit to yours. He holds his smile, waiting for you to either protest or move the moment forward, and all you can do is gawk, because your cunt starts throbbing. 

As the evening wears on, though cautious, it’s obvious that Remy feels the same pull that you do. He remains cool on the outside, but internally, he was battling the magnetic tugging he felt from you. He couldn't shake it. He’d compliment you, you’d compliment him. At one point, in between sips, you casually drop that you think his accent is hot and he whispers something underneath his breath, something you don’t understand. Before either of you realized it, you had started to lean closer to each other, your faces inches apart, and you felt the warm rush of his breath over your cheeks.

It was as if you both realized it simultaneously. You rear back, an embarrassed expression plastered on your face. Remy clears his throat. His attraction to you was stifling; something that he rarely felt. He was powerless in his want for you, the draw you had was irresistible.

"Maybe we should... uh..." You murmur, looking deep into his eyes. In a room full of people that were starting to fade away the closer you two got to each other, you were thankful you were still sober enough to suggest a different setting. Any longer and you surely would’ve just straddled him and gone to town. 

Remy moves first. 

"We gon' take a walk." He announces to the others, getting to his feet. 

The conversation stops abruptly, silence hanging heavy. You straighten up, trying your best to avert your gaze, but you still see everyone’s reaction. Someone clears their throat and your heart sinks, feeling like you might die on the spot. The one that had been introduced as Logan, gruff looking dude, raises a single brow at you. In true Wade-character, he ugly cackles, shattering the moment. Your shoulders sink, embarrassed, as you head towards the door, doing the proverbial walk of shame. 

Remy meets you at the door and pulls it open, holding it for you. You duck underneath his arm, looking sheepish and as you exit into the hallway, you think you heard Wade mutter something about a fanfiction but Remy yanks the door shut before you can react. 

“You want to… get some air? Or um… I have… well, no I had liquor, but I brought it to Wade’s.” 

He smiles, and looks down at the floor, before lifting his eyes back to you. “We can do whatever you want, chère. You ain’t gon’ catch me complainin’ eitha’ way.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, considering the options. Your heart was hammering in your chest at the prospect of just being near him without the others around. You two had been close to kissing in Wade’s living room, and now, you had the opportunity to continue that… or take a walk. The latter seemed less appealing. 

“Y’know what, why don’t we… just…” You take a few steps backwards, jerking your head towards your front door. Concerningly, you had forgotten to lock your door. However, it allows you to open it quickly, and walk backwards into the apartment. Gambit follows you in, his attention never leaving you. 

"You sure 'bout dis, mon ami? I can walk away righ' now." His words land heavy, a promise behind them. He was a gentleman at heart, you could tell. Fortunately for him, you were very sure, and wanted every inch of him.

Mon ami - something that in the few hours you'd spent with him, he'd called you often. Among other things. Mon ami meant my friend, but you knew you two weren't just friends. You saw how he acted with others, and the comments he made. Sure, he had a quick wit and a mouth on him, but the flirting... god, the flirting.

He stands in the doorway, his shoulders filling the frame. Silently, you nod and take another step back, giving him some room to enter. He takes one wide step towards you, leaving the door open behind him. He reaches for your hip, and you immediately take to playing with his large hands. Delicately, you pay attention to each long digit, trailing your middle finger along the knuckles, and up and down the length of them. You dip into the spaces between, your fingers barely ghosting over the webbing. 

Was that a shiver? Your eyes flit to his, searching them for a hint.

"You sure do know how to make a man feel good." 

Your heart flutters at his words. With his accent, even the simplest of things sounded charming. At least to you. You felt that he could ask if you wanted coffee or how the weather was and you'd be twirling your hair around your finger like a desperate schoolgirl. Embarrassing. 

You’re about to respond and defend yourself by saying that all you had done was play with his hands, which was hardly considered foreplay, but his fingers come up underneath your chin, gently closing your mouth with a dull click of your teeth. He tilts it upwards to an angle where he could easily kiss you. And kiss you, he does. 

It was the kind of kiss that makes your knees buckle, sends a violent shudder from the nape of your neck down to the base of your spine. It’s the kind of kiss that needs to come with a warning; Danger: Will Result In Sex. As his lips move against yours, you feel the urgency of his need, of his want, and hum into his lips. Remy takes that as a green light and deepens the kiss, moving his body so that it’s pressing flush against yours. The action leaves you immediately breathless and in response, you break the kiss, tucking your chin to your chest. Your hand finds his torso, pressing hard against the muscles underneath the shirt.  

"Ah, don't you be actin' shy now. You been teasin' me for hours."

“I have not!”

“You think I didn’t notice all ‘dem touches an’ looks you were givin’ me? I may ‘ave been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night.” 

He had you there. You couldn’t deny that, at all. Even if you’d wanted to. Which, part of you did. Part of you was very nervous, standing before this very handsome man, with the taste of his mouth still lingering on your lips but another part of you, the louder one, was delighted that he’d noticed. Furthermore, that he’d enjoyed them enough to come to your room.

You lift your hand behind him, pushing the door shut with a harsh shove. With a twist of your fingers, you activate the locking mechanism, sliding the deadbolt into place. Gambit chuckles, grinning down at you. Your heart leaps into your throat, but you press on bravely, lacing your arms around his neck. They trail down the front of his body, feeling the muscles as they twitch with each ragged breath. 

He quirks a brow as if to ask, 'Oh, really?' You simply smirk back at him. The contact is electric, and you find yourself resisting the urge to grind against him immediately. Instead, you focus on his hands again, bringing one of them up to your lips. You press a delicate kiss on the pads, before slipping one into your mouth and sucking gently. Remy makes a deep, husky sound in his throat, and brings his other hand to your hip, where he pulls you roughly against him.

For a man that uses his hands often, the sensations are high. The way your mouth envelops his finger, your tongue writhing around the digit had his jaw clenching, muscles fluttering on the side of his face. When you draw his finger into the confines of your throat, deep-throating it, his eyes roll back in pleasure. He pulls his hand back, shaking it off as if the inside of your mouth was hot to the touch.

"Woo, you nasty, huh? Nevah’ woulda' guessed... you been actin' like a good little girl 'uhround me." 

After that, it all happened very quickly. Gambit takes a step and connects his lips with yours again, pushing them into you in an act of desperation. Without breaking the kiss, he shrugs out of his jacket, tossing it onto a nearby surface. You push against him until his back hits the door with a heavy thud, definitely loud enough for any innocent bystanders to hear. Your fingers undo the button of your jeans, breaking the kiss for only a second to slide them down your legs. 

Once you return to his waiting mouth, the kiss deepens and the coil in your stomach winds tighter, claiming your body in a deep, fiery arousal. His big arms wrap around you, enveloping you in a heated embrace. Just for a moment, it’s tender — but shortly after, his hands drop to your ass, fingers slipping underneath the band of fabric to take greedy fistfuls of each cheek. 

Your hands find their way to his shoulders, gripping the roundness of them to use as leverage. Letting out a little hum, you sweep your hips across his groin, pressing tightly against him. His eyes drift shut, head bumping against the door as he leaned it back, a low growl coming from his throat. Keeping at it, you grind your hips against him, feeling the outline of his length as it hardens.

“You be drivin’ Remy crazy, grindin’ on me like ‘dat.”

“That’s the intention….” You stand on your tiptoes to pepper kisses on his lips, your warm breath fanning over his face, smelling faintly of Jack Daniels. Remy trails his hand carefully up your rib cage until he gets to the side of your breast, where he quickly slips around to the front, his large hand cupping the fullness of it outside of your shirt. Your reaction is visceral; your breath hisses through your teeth at the sensitivity. 

Remy laughs again and with his free hand, pulls your hips back to his. Swiftly, he spins you around, pinning you between his body and the hard surface of the door. He presses himself tightly against you, shifting slightly so that his thigh was between your legs. The sensation of something that close to your core is dangerous and brings a weak, mewling whimper from your mouth.

“We gon’ have ourselves some fun.” His voice is low, tinged with a new sort of lustful tone that you hadn't heard before. Your mind is spinning, growing dizzy with lust. The alcohol had certainly helped your nerves, you were never usually this brazen. Your core burns with desire at his words, silently begging for everything he was about to give you. His lips hover just over yours; you can feel his breath on your skin and the heat that radiates off his body as it presses into yours.

"Oh my god," you whisper into his mouth. "Fuck..."

His teeth nip at your bottom lip before he captures your mouth in a heated, passionate kiss again. His tongue explores the inside, swirling along your own wet muscle. With every passing second, your heart beats faster and his hands grip your hips tighter, thumbs massaging the flesh above your jeans.

“Wrap ‘dem legs around me, mon coeur.” (My heart) Remy’s voice is husky with want; amongst his playful, lilted tone, a possessiveness lingered, and the thought sends a chill down your spine. He nods once, encouraging you into his waiting arms. You jump up, and he catches you effortlessly, gripping your thighs tight and hoisting you up into his grasp. Feeling secure, you wrap both legs around his waist and encircle his neck with your arms. Your gaze meets his and you can see the wanton need mirrored in his own eyes, darkened with desire.

Remy's smirk is dripping with confidence. Your body's response to him was causing his ego to swell within his chest, and his cock to swell within his pants. He leans in close, his lips against your ear, nipping at the lobe softly before pulling back slightly. In one fluid movement, his hips buck up against your center, teasing you over the layers of clothing. You let out a moan, throwing your head back against the door.

He thrusts up into you again, chuckling low against your ear. The hard line of his cock grinds against you, making you stutter out expletives as it presses against you with a needy demand. 

"You like 'dat, cher? Talk t' me..."

You nod, swallowing and wetting your throat. "Y-yeah, fuck... I do... need you – it – so bad."

“Whaddya’ need?”

“N-need you… so bad.” 

“You can do betta’. Tell Remy what you need...” 

He presses you harder against the door, your back sliding against the wood as he kisses a trail down from your mouth to your shoulder, sucking and biting with all the right intensities. As his hips grind against yours, you feel the damp fabric slide across your cunt, alerting you to just how wet he’d made you. Fuck. 

“Need… need you to fuck me. Hard. Need to feel you everywhere.”  

A few hours ago, you’d agreed to Taco Tuesday at Wade’s. Now, you were getting dry humped by a really hot Cajun guy and moaning into the curve between his neck and his shoulder. You were positive that if someone opened their door, they’d hear you. Somewhere in your brain, the thought should have been moderately embarrassing, but you were far too invested in Remy to care. 

Without warning, Gambit lifts you away from the door and carries you to the nearby couch. He never breaks the kiss, still feverishly claiming your mouth as he moves. Your back hits the cushions and before you can process it, his body weight is on top of you. He slots himself in between your legs, and his hard-on bumps into your stomach as his hips rut against you, finding some relief in the friction. But not enough. 

Remy’s hand finds the hem of your shirt, lifting it just enough to allow his fingers underneath the fabric. You bite down on the pillow of your bottom lip and push your hips up into his. Thick, strong digits sweep across your skin, leaving a burning trail of fire in their wake. Every touch brings your temperature up, and it isn’t long before your entire body is consumed in flames. You sigh contentedly, arching up into his touch. 

Abruptly, Remy straightens up, crosses his arms over his torso and pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his tan skin and bulky muscles. His stocky stature makes your tummy clench with anticipation. He was fit, as you assumed, but that didn’t stop your jaw from falling open at the sight. 

“Wow,” you finally choke.

Remy grins. “You like what you see?” 

You nod furiously, hands snapping to his toned abdomen. He’s warm and his skin is soft, begging to be touched. The muscles flex underneath your fingers as you trace a long stripe from his belly button to his collarbone. Your hands claw at his shoulder, attempting to pull him back down on you, but he resists. 

He spoke with a playfulness, almost a sort of pleading. His thumbs flicks at the hem of your shirt. “Ah, c’mon, ‘dat ain’t fair. Enlève-tout toi, huh?” (Take it all off.)

You thought you understood, but if you didn’t, it didn’t matter. Remy was quick to translate his words, busy undressing you, pulling your worn t-shirt over your head, and reaching around your back to unclasp your bra. Most men would’ve fumbled with the clasp, but not him. His adept fingers make quick work of it, allowing your breasts to fall free. He throws your bra somewhere behind him. 

“Hooo, cher…!” His eyes light up at the visual and you feel heat blooming on your cheeks again, half expecting him to make a lewd comment. Instead, his hands cup your tits, kneading the soft plumpness like dough, thumbs grazing the nipples. He exhales through his mouth, jerking his head to the side. 

Finally, he kisses you again. It’s wet and sloppy and his mouth is consuming you, tasting you hungrily. His hips are still moving, sweeping into yours with a calculated precision. You try to spread your legs but the back of the couch thwarts your attempt. He notices this, watching as you struggle with the space. 

“You got a bed?” He asked in between smearing kisses along your neck and collarbone. 

“Yeah-yeah…. Down the hall.” 

“Remy be needin’ more room for what he wanna’ do t’you.”

His weight is suddenly gone from you, an unwelcome sensation, even though you know he’s about to carry you wedding-style down the hallway. He bends down, one arm sliding underneath your neck, the other in the crook behind your knees. For the second time that night, he lifts you into his arms.

You rest your cheek against his warm pectoral muscle, rocking back and forth, as he walks you both down the dark hallway. The only light in the room comes from the window, the city outside alive and humming. Carefully, Remy sets you down on the bed, unmade from this morning, your dark gray sheets cool to the touch. 

In nothing but your underwear, which at this point, are damp to the touch, you’re left feeling very exposed. But you can’t muster up any shame, not when he’s looking at you with such hunger, such want. Your tummy feels tight, and the feeling gets worse when Remy’s hands drop to his waist, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants. They fall loose at the waist, and he shucks them down the rest of the way, leaving him in nothing but a pair of deep purple boxers. Your eyes swing heavy to the outline that’s now presented to you. 

Oh my god. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; Remy was a big guy, and that proved true downstairs, too. You can barely pull your eyes away from it, but you begrudgingly rip them away, to look up into his gaze. 

“Please,” you beg. “You’re too far away…” Your cunt is aching and nothing but him, his hands, his dick, will sate her. 

He leans forward, flattening both hands on the mattress and walks them back until his face is in front of yours. He sweeps you into another kiss and your heart races. His hands are perfectly positioned on either side of your hips, you feel them graze the flesh. His finger hooks around the elastic of your panties, twisting it around his pointer finger and gradually, he tugs them down over the curve of your hip.

You nod lazily against his mouth, as you feel the warmth of his hand near your core. Your legs drop apart, knees touching the mattress as you allow him access. One hand sweeps across your inner thighs, stroking them, while the other palms your soft mound. His other hand comes to pause at your knee, and pushes his weight into it softly, forcing you to stay spread-eagle for him. No way you could’ve done this on the sofa. 

There’s no hesitation in the way he fingers you; sweeping up through your slick folds, smearing your arousal around until she’s coated in it, splaying your pretty, wet cunt apart with his fingers, looking upon it hungrily. He knows what he’s doing, and how to do it right. You briefly wonder if that’s another mutant power he has… though being an expert at fingering someone seems outlandish. But he’s just so good at it. His middle finger barely touches you, circling the bundle of nerves delicately. Your back arches up towards him, a desperate groan vibrating your vocal chords. Delighted by your reaction, his finger flicks upwards at your swollen, sensitive clit, making your body literally quiver. 

“Uhugh – god…. Shit, oh my god.” 

He continues like this for several minutes, until your cunt is blazing hot and clenching with every moan you give. 

By the time he presses one finger inside, you’re teetering on the edge of an orgasm and your voice fills the room with needy, desperate sounds. You let out a shrill whine, and he slips in another finger, feeling the stretch of muscle as he does. His heart is pounding in his chest, overcome with lust. The way you sound, the way your body is moving and writhing on the bed, he can’t wait to sink himself into you. 

Amidst a laugh, he says: “People gon’ think we up in here watchin’ porn.”

Did he just insinuate that you sounded like a pornstar? You lifted your head, wearily, to look at him. Your chest heaves with each breath as you try to formulate a snarky remark to no avail. He looked so good – well, always – but he looked particularly good on top of you, his bright eyes lust blown and hungry. 

“We’re… we’re… porn… it’s…  oh god.” 

He shushes you. “You just lay back and keep moanin’.” 

Defeated, you huff and your head hits the sheets again, but not before you catch a glimpse of the way the muscles in his forearm ripple as it pumps back and forth into your cunt. You can’t help but moan at the sight, feeling a shockwave rupture your core. Your hips meet his fingers, rutting and writhing against the mattress in a needy rhythm.

Your first orgasm claims your body before you can stop it. You’re clenching around his fingers as they move, crooking upwards into your sensitive spots. Your slick coats his fingers and when Gambit pulls his hand back, thick, clear strands string from between them. He smiles down at you. 

Remy raises himself to his knees. “Turn ‘round…” 

You flip over and back yourself towards him, thinking that he’s going to go at it doggy-style, but to your surprise, he pulls you upright, pressing your back against his chest. His dick is hot between your legs, and when he reaches down to line it up, you let your head loll back against his shoulder. Gambit’s mouth finds the side of your neck, streaking it with wet, suckling kisses. He was taking his time with you, savouring you and you hum happily through closed lips, reaching behind you to thread your fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, you feel so good…” Instinctively, your hips undulate and his cock slips between your folds. Remy’s hips buck once, letting out a groan that comes from somewhere deep. 

“You ready, cher?” He asks, sweeping your hair away from your neck. You nod furiously. You’ve been ready – you were ready the moment you laid eyes on him.

Remy reaches down to sweep his fingers along your entrance briefly, before gripping himself and guiding the head of his cock into the slit. You keen at the feeling of his velvet-soft head pressing into your entrance, warm pre-cum leaking from the slit. He murmurs words of encouragement into your ear as you feel his hips press against your ass, urging his thick, veiny shaft inside your cunt. He does it gently, allowing you time to adjust to the girth, but the sting still makes you cry out. “Fffuck!”

He begins to thrust his hips shallowly, your cunt stretching around his cock. The feeling is all-consuming, and your body feels heavy in his grasp. One hand is gripping your waist tightly, the other, fingers splayed out on your stomach just above your cunt. There’s a pressure building in your cunt, and each thrust magnifies it. The sting of his cock fades to an ache, then to a dull throbbing that makes you want more and you lean forward slightly and press your ass into the curves of his hips, meeting his thrusts. 

“Mm, ‘dat’s it, cher…” His voice is hot on your skin. 

His thrusts get deeper, but there’s a lingering tension in his body that makes you feel like he’s not getting what he wants. You’re right; all at once, Remy pulls his cock from you and switches positions. 

You’re suddenly on your back, looking up at him as he looms over you, all muscle. His cockhead nudges your entrance again, but doesn’t penetrate. 

“Say my name, cher… I needa’ hear it leave ‘dat pretty mouth.” 

“Which one? Gambit? Or Remy?” You ask, breathlessly.

The way his eyes rolled back at the second option told you everything you needed to know. A smirk twisted your lips cruelly and you lifted your body slightly, just enough for your mouth to reach his ear. You moan his name over and over again, knowing full well the effect it’s having on the mutant man.

“Remy, Remy, Remy��.” Your tone is high-pitched and whiny, but he seems to enjoy the lewdness of it all. He bucks his hips hard into you, and the fullness reaches an all-time high as he bottoms out, his pelvis hitting yours with a slap.

“Huhhh—!” You gasp, breathing ragged. “Fuck!”

“Gonna’ make you cum so hard you ain’t gon’ walk right for days.” His voice is low and filthy and leaves a stain on your mind. Your cunt clenches around him possessively, pulling him somehow deeper inside of you. 

As your head bangs into your headboard, the tip of his cock bumps your cervix over and over again, and your jaw goes slack, literally fucked silent. Remy hears the thudding of your skull and puts a hand between it and the wood, but he doesn’t stop his relentless, deep thrusting. 

The pleasure reaches a peak and your nails dig into his back, leaving crescent moon shaped indentations on his golden skin. Remy’s groaning loud into your ear as he cums, muttering in an almost incoherent melange of French and English. His accent is somehow heavier, and you can barely make out the words as he’s saying them into your skin. It doesn’t matter though, because you feel how full you are, and Remy’s hot, white completion is leaking out the sides and staining your sheets. 

He stays like that for a moment, hovering on top of you. His cock softens inside, completely spent and eventually, he slips it out, rolling over onto your bed.

“Ah, joi de vivre, huh.” (the joy of life), he says drowsily.

You laugh, and nestle underneath his arm, in the space he’s left for you. 

If you had your way, you’d do it all over again. 

Though he doesn’t say it, so would he. 

[once-upon-an-imagine]

Lover - Sirius Black

A/N: ahh! well here it is, a very long one-shot. I'm not sure how, this started off kind of sweet, then it got angsty and then it got funny but I still hope you like it!

Request - Anonymous asked: Hey love! Hope you're doing okay! I wanna start off by saying I love all of your Sirius Black fics so much! They're so fun to read and always make me happy! Secondly I love the whole Potter!reader thing cause I absolutely love James and have always wanted a brother like him. Idk if you're taking requests but if you are I was wondering if you'd do a Sirius x reader where the reader is a Hufflepuff and is the opposite of Sirius and he's like absolutely whipped but the reader is James' little sister ( a year younger maybe cause I love age gaps lol) so yeah sirius is like shitting scared cause he thinks James would hate him forever and all angsty but then James is like dude I knew since like the day I introduced you guys and all happy ending lol. Sorry if it's too detailed. I completely understand if you don't wanna write it tho. Have a nice day!

Warnings: mentions of Sirius' family situation, like I said it got a bit too angsty for a moment there but I think that's it let me know if I missed anything though!

Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :D gif isn’t mine :)  

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Lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue All's well that ends well to end up with you Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

You kept walking back and forth in your room. You couldn't sleep. You hadn't been able to sleep earlier tonight, but now it was even worse. When you walked into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea you did not expect to find Sirius Black, barely being able to stand as he held on to the kitchen counter. You felt your entire body shaking when you noticed the bruises and blood all over him. But, when he looked at you, your heart broke into a million pieces, that's when you felt like you were going to be sick. He was crying and he looked haunted. You had never seen Sirius like this. He tried to say your name before he collapsed so you quickly walked over to him to hold him up and you yelled for your brother. It wasn't even five minutes before James came running downstairs with your parents following him. And now, here you were, waiting for James to come tell you what happened. Sirius wasn't talking, so if there was a remote possibility that he would, it would be with James. And your parents were helping him so, at some point, you were asked to leave. But James knew you wouldn't go to sleep until you knew Sirius was okay.

"Hey, bug" you turned around when James opened your door.

"Hi" you said, finally sitting on the bench by your window and James joined you. "H-how is he?" you asked nervously. You could tell James had been crying as well.

"He's gonna be okay" he assured you. "I knew you wouldn't go to sleep until I told you that" he smiled. "He's gonna be staying with us now" he explained.

"Good" you nodded. "I'm glad he doesn't have to go back there" you said. You knew about Sirius' home situation. He had talked to you about it a few times, but you had never imagined it was this bad.

"Me too" James smiled at you.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, bug" he frowned.

"You know it's okay if you're not, right?" you insisted.

"It's just... hard seeing him like this" he admitted, shedding a few tears. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"You're a good brother, Jamie" you said as you felt him hug you back. "That's why he came here" you told him.

"Thanks, bug" he said, kissing the side of your head. You were about to pull away but you felt James arms tightening a little and you knew he needed more time.

"You should try to get some sleep" you told him.

"You too" he said, getting up. When he was at the door, he looked back at you with a weary smile. "I love you, bug."

"I love you too, Jamie" you smiled before he left, closing the door behind you.

You sighed, thinking that it was best if you also got some sleep since it was almost three in the morning, but you heard something in the room next to you. You knew Sirius would most likely not be able to sleep. So, you went downstairs again to make some tea. But not for you. You knew that Sirius might not want to talk right now, especially with you. So, you just wanted to do something nice and feel a little helpful. You walked quietly to his room and saw that the light was still on, so you were not waking him up. You knocked lightly but got no response, so you opened the room slowly. It was empty, and the bathroom door was closed. You didn't want to cross any lines so you placed the tea on his nightstand and left.

And that's how it started. You did the same thing the following night. This time, when you knocked on his door, Sirius opened it and smiled sweetly at you. He had a feeling it was you the previous night. He was still very quiet, which was unusual for him, but you still offered him the tea.

"I just... thought it might help you sleep" you smiled nervously.

"Thanks, Bambi" he said, grabbing it from you, making you chuckle a little. He had always called you that and, it annoyed you at first, but now you kind of liked it.

"Good night, Siri" you said, walking over to the next door.

"Night, love" he whispered to himself going inside his room.

This kept happening for the following weeks. You slowly saw Sirius coming back to his old self. Your mum had asked you to help redecorate his room so he would feel more at home and you noticed his eyes watering a little when your mum showed it to him. James told him that Remus and Peter would be arriving in a few weeks and that also seemed to lift his spirits up. But if Sirius was being honest with himself, his favorite part of living at the Potters was whenever you brought him tea. It was a small act of kindness on your part but it meant the world to him. He knew you sometimes had trouble sleeping and you were worried that he was experiencing that too, and that warmed his heart. Which is why, one night he opened the door before you could even knock. He stood there on the other side and smiled sweetly at you.

"Oh- s-sorry, I was um-"

"It's okay, love" he chuckled. "How come you never bring one for yourself?" he asked, confused as he grabbed the tea from you.

"Oh" you said, a little taken aback. "I usually drink mine downstairs" you explained.

"Well, would you maybe like to have your tea with me tomorrow?" he smiled sweetly at you.

"Really?" you asked, feeling a little nervous. "I m-mean, yeah, sure, I'd love that" you nodded.

"Cool, see you tomorrow, Bambi" he said, kissing your cheek before you both said good night.

And you did. Every night for the rest of the summer, after James went to sleep, and the rest of the Marauders, once they arrived, you brought tea for Sirius and the two of you spent hours talking. Little by little, you saw him going back to his old self. He smiled more. He laughed more. He didn't seem jumpy or gloomy anymore. One night, you fell asleep and he didn't have it in him to bring you to your room. He liked your company and he felt a lot better when you were around, so he didn't. But a few hours later, you were woken up by his screaming. It broke your heart to see him so terrified by his nightmares, but it got Sirius to open up to you. He felt more comfortable around you with each passing week, until one night, he finally kissed you.

You would have been lying if you said you didn't have a slight crush on Sirius Black. Because he was Sirius Black. Everyone had a crush on him and you were no exception. And in the weeks since he had moved in, you got to know him even more and you felt your crush growing. So, when he kissed you, you were over the moon. That's how it started. This whole thing between the two of you. You both decided to keep it secret for a while. And you couldn't deny that it was even exciting at first. The stolen glances between you, the way Sirius would always sit next to you at meals and hold your hand under the table. Brief moments where he would excuse himself from the other Marauders just to go to your room to steal a quick kiss from you.

But now, that you were back at Hogwarts, being in different years and houses, it made it increasingly difficult to keep your relationship a secret. You knew Sirius was anxious about James' reaction to your relationship, but you didn't think it would be such a big deal, as to practically have your relationship back to before you two got together. Making moments like this extremely rare.

"Merlin, I've missed you" Sirius smiled as the two of you laid on his bed, kissing, with music in the background.

"I've missed you too" you smiled before he pulled you in for another kiss. "It's been such a long week" you complained.

"It's only Tuesday" he laughed.

"I know" you pouted and he kissed you once more. "But we barely got to see each other this past weekend and classes have been crazy and I just-"

Sirius interrupted you with another kiss. "I know, love" he said, placing his hand on your cheek. "But it's a Hogsmeade weekend" he smiled. "Maybe we can go?"

"R-really?" you asked, feeling excited. Because of all the sneaking around, you two didn't even have a first date.

"Yeah, I think we're all gonna go, so you can come with us" he suggested, making your smile drop.

"Oh- um, y-yeah, sure" you smiled again, but, of course, Sirius noticed it was different.

"What?" he frowned, sitting up.

"N-nothing" you tried to assure him.

"Love, you're a terrible liar" he insisted. "I know when something's bothering you" he said pulling you with him.

"Nothing, I just..." you sighed. The two of you never really established what this was and you didn't want to make it a bigger deal than it was. "I'm not sure if I have a Potions exam on Monday" you covered up.

"Oh" he replied before smiling again. "Well, in that case" he said, leaning in for another kiss. "Maybe I can stay back and help you study" he smirked, kissing you again.

"You don't have to do that" you chuckled.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind, sweetheart" he said as his kisses started making his way down your neck. "I wouldn't mind at all" he said between kisses and making your smile appear again.

It was short-lived, however, because the two of you heard the door opening and Sirius quickly pushed you off him, making you fall off his bed.

"Bloody hell!"

"Sirius!" you complained when you hit your head with his nightstand.

"Moony! What the fuck!" Sirius said, looking at his friend standing at the entrance of his dorm.

"What? Just be glad it was me and not Prongs" he rolled his eyes, closing the door and tossing his bag on his bed.

"I'm so sorry, love" he said, getting up to help you. "Are you okay-?"

"No, of course I'm not okay" you glared at him. "You pushed me and I hit my head!"

"I'm sorry, love. I thought it was Prongs-"

"What difference does that make, Sirius" you asked, grabbing your shirt and putting it back on. "We're both half-naked, in your bed, do you honestly think James would have thought nothing was going on? I know he's daft but give him some credit!"

"I panicked, okay! Moony said he would be out until dinner" he said, glaring at Remus.

"It is almost dinner" he defended himself. "And this wouldn't have happened if you just told Prongs already. What is he gonna do? Kill you?"

"Moony, could you please get out?" Sirius glared at his friend again making Remus sigh in frustration.

"Fine, I'll leave-"

"No, don't worry, Remus. I'll leave" you said as you finished fixing yourself up.

"What? Why are you leaving?" Sirius said, pulling you to him.

"I don't know, Sirius, maybe because I don't want to stay here until my brother comes in and you push me again so I hit my head!"

"That was an accident! I just-"

"I know. You don't want James to know about us" you rolled your eyes. "What's the big deal? Remus knows!" you said, pointing at him.

"Remus is not your brother. Trust me, love. I will tell him, I promise I just... need more time" he begged, making you sigh in defeat.

"Fine" you said, grabbing your bag. "I'm still gonna go" you said, quietly.

"Love-"

"No, it's fine" you said with a weary smile. "If it's almost dinner time, that means Jamie's practice is over" you said. "I'll see you both later" you said, leaving and closing the door behind you before Sirius could stop you again.

"I fucked up, didn't I?" Sirius asked out loud.

"Oh, good. You didn't neet me to tell you" Remus smirked a little.

"Moony, I'm not joking-!"

"Neither am I, Pads" Remus said as Sirius put his shirt back on. "You're gonna fuck things up if you keep doing this. And the longer you wait-"

"I know, the worst it will be with Prongs" Sirius sighed frustrated.

"Prongs? You're more worried about what James will say than being disrespectful to your girlfriend?"

"Whoa, that's a big word, Moony" he chuckled nervously. "Bambi's not my-" he stopped as Remus glared at him. "I mean we haven't really-" he sighed. "Ugh, I'm fucking this up, aren't I?" he said, throwing himself on his bed.

"You know, sometimes you're more perceptive than I give you credit for" Remus replied.

"Moony!" Sirius complained, sitting up. "It's not funny! I don't know what to do!"

"Why are you so afraid of telling James about the two of you?"

"Are you joking? You know I don't have the best reputation about dating and if he finds out that I'm dating his little sister he's going to kill me!"

"I honestly don't think he would" Remus tried to reason to him. "I mean, we've all seen how much you've changed this past year" he continued. "And James hasn't seen it but I've seen the way the two of you are together. It's different" he explained. "But you're going to fuck it all up if you keep making her feel this way" he said.

"What way?"

"As if you don't want to be seen with her. As if your relationship isn't serious. And as if you care more about what James says than hurting her feelings" he indicated.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out so he threw himself back on his bed. Maybe Remus was right. Maybe he needed to get this over with and just tell James before it was too late.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

The next day, you were coming out of your Charms class and you were still in a foul mood. You loved Sirius, you knew that much. And whenever you were with him, you felt like he might love you too. But all of this hiding and sneaking around made your insecurities get the best of you and wonder if he was as Sirius about this as you were. You understood that he was nervous about telling James, but you kept insisting nothing would happen so, maybe it wasn't just that.

Your thoughts were shut down when you noticed a small crumpled parchment in your bag while you were putting your book away. You opened it and saw one of Sirius' doodles and it made you smile. He did this from time to time. He left little notes hidden in your books and your bag. This one was a small doodle of him holding up a flower and apologizing for being an idiot, asking you to meet him after lunch so the two of you could talk.

"Hey, bug!" you heard your brother walking your way and you put your small doodle back in your bag.

"Hi, Jamie" you smiled at your big brother.

"You going to lunch?"

"Yeah" you replied before you heard your name being called.

"Hey" you turned around to see your housemate and classmate speeding your way. "Oh, hi, James" she smiled. "It's the Potters" she greeted.

"Hi Emmeline" you smiled back at your friend.

"Hey" she smiled. "I won't keep you long, I just wanted to ask you something" she told you. "Oh, and now that your brother's here I guess I can ask him too" she told you.

"Sure, Em, what do you need?" you asked your friend.

"You're really close with Sirius Black, aren't you?" she asked, making your heart drop for a moment. You could tell where this was going.

"She's not as close to him as I am" James smirked. "Why the interest, love?"

"Well, I was just... wondering if... he's single?" she asked smiling as you felt your entire heart shatter. What were you supposed to say now?

"Yes, of course, he is" James answered before you could say something.

"Really? I wasn't sure because you seem really close to him and I didn't want to cross any lines if you two were dating or anything-" she said looking at you. But, again, your brother intervened.

"With her?" he laughed a little too loud to your liking. "Sirius dating my sister? You're joking right, they're just friends" he insisted.

"Oh, that's a relief" she sighed while you remained with your mouth open but nothing was coming out. "So, could you maybe... find out for me if he might be interested?"

"I- uh-" you tried to make sense of this whole thing. "Y-you want me to f-find out if Sirius likes you?"

"Yeah" she chuckled. "We've sort of been flirting back and forth, and since it's a Hogsmeade weekend, I though-"

"Y-you've been flirting back and forth" you said, letting out a bitter chuckle and feeling as if someone was stabbing your heart repeatedly. "With Sirius-?"

"Well, that's a grand idea, Emmeline" James kept interrupting. "Maybe we can have a double date" he suggested.

"What's on your mind, Potter?"

"Well, I happen to know you do some of your prefect rounds with Lily" he smirked. "Put in a good word for me and I put in a good word for you?"

"Really?" Emmeline asked, excitedly.

"Really" James nodded.

"Alright, Potter. You've got yourself a deal" she smiled. "But only if you agree to find out if I have a chance first" she said, turning back to you.

"I um-" you stuttered. "S-so, you want me to find out if Sirius likes you-?"

"Yes, please, will you? Is not too much trouble, is it?" she asked.

"Uh-"

"Of course, not, love!" James waved you off. "We'll definitely have the information in a few hours. I mean, we're just on our way to have lunch with Sirius, right bug?" he said, playfully hitting your stomach with his arm.

"R-right" you said trying your best not to start crying. Were you really just about to set your boyfriend up on a date just to avoid telling your brother?

"Brilliant! Thank you so much! I have my Prefect rounds tonight with Lily so, that works" she told James.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Em" James said as she nodded her head to him.

"Thanks, love" she told you. "I'll see you both later!" she said, walking away from you.

"Oh, Merlin! Bug, did you hear that?"

"What just happened?" you muttered to yourself.

"I'll tell you what just happened. I just got a date with Lily!" he said, excitedly, pulling you with him to the Great Hall.

"I didn't hear that" you said, frowning at him.

"Come on, let's go!" he said, running towards his usual spot. He found Remus and Peter already sitting there but Sirius was nowhere to be seen. "Great! You're both here! Where's Padfoot?"

"He said he'll be right here" Peter said as James pulled you to sit and he took the seat next to you.

"Brilliant!" he said as he started putting food on his plate and yours.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked you.

"She's fine. She's just hungry" James said, placing a massive mountain of potatoes on your plate.

"No, I think I have to go-"

"Nonsense!"

"Hey" Sirius said, appearing at the table and greeting all of you. "Bambi, I didn't know you would join us today" he said, sitting next to Remus, in front of you. "What are you all talking about?"

"Not much" James said, acting casually. "Just talking about next weekend" he said smiling. "Hogsmeade weekend" he continued. "Do you have any plans?"

"Uh, no, n-not really" Sirius answered, looking at you without meaning to.

"Wonderful" James said with a smirk. "I have a proposition for you" he told him.

"What?"

"Well, I was thinking-"

"Shocker" Remus heard you mutter under your breath and your brother quickly glared at you.

"What do you think about going on a double date?"

"Are you asking me out, Prongs? Because I've got to be honest with you, you're not really my type" Sirius asked him making the other two Marauders laugh.

James rolled his eyes and glared at his friends. "No, I just happened to run into Emmeline, you know her right?" he said.

"Um... sure?" Sirius said a bit confused. He looked at you to see if you could maybe provide some sort of explanation, but your eyes were glued to the potatoes on your plate. You didn't dare to look up at him.

"Well, you see, my sweet Padfoot, it looks like our dear Emmeline has a bit of a crush on you" he said happily.

You lifted her look just to see Sirius' reaction who looked back at you, feeling extremely guilty.

"N-no, she doesn't" he said awkwardly.

"Yes, she does! Isn't this grand?"

"G-grand? W-why would that be grand?" Sirius chuckled, nervously.

"Well because she just told us that she wants to go to Hogsmeade with you this weekend and that she would ask Lily so we could go on a double date" James said with a smirk.

"Us? What do you mean 'us'?"

"She just told us before coming over here" he explained, making Sirius' heart stop. "She wanted us to find out if you liked her back" he shrugged.

Sirius instantly looked at you. He knew you were upset. And you probably had every right to. This was it. He should just come out and say it. But he fucked up again. He was a coward.

"She told you that?"

You slowly turned to look up from your food when you felt the four boys looking at you. James still had his stupid smirk on his face, Peter was just curiously waiting for an answer, Sirius was looking at you as if he was going to cry, and Remus was looking at you almost... sorry?

"Um" you said nervously. "She might-have um, m-mentioned something" you said before looking back down.

"Mentioned something? She said you two have been flirting back and forth for weeks" James said excitedly. "So, what do you say? Why don't you ask her out and then the four of us could go on a double date?"

You felt your heart beating faster each second and feared it might explode. Not only would Sirius not take you out on a date this Saturday, but he might even go on a date with someone else. All to avoid telling your brother about the two of you.

"Uh, I don't think so, Prongs-"

"Come on, Pads, is just one date" James kept on pushing.

Remus turned to look at you, who didn't dare look up from your plate. He noticed the tears in your eyes and he turned to glare at Sirius, kicking him under the table.

"I don't really think Padfoot's interested, Prongs" he said, widening his eyes at Sirius. He couldn't believe he was so afraid of James as to even hurt your feelings in the process.

"Of course he is, he's interested in any girl" James laughed. "Well, almost, right bug?" he said, elbowing you playfully on your stomach.

"R-right" you muttered sadly.

You suddenly felt sick to your stomach and you decided you couldn't be here anymore, so you stood up.

"Hey, where are you going, bug?" your brother asked confused.

"Away from you" you answered, grabbing your stuff.

"But you haven't even touched your food" James said, worriedly, looking at the still full plate next to him.

"Well, maybe I'm not hungry anymore" you said grumpily, before walking away from them.

"What's going on with her?" James asked concerned, looking at his three friends.

"I don't know" Sirius quickly replied. "W-why would we know?"

"Yeah, why would we know?" Remus asked, glaring at Sirius.

"It's probably her time of the month" James said shrugging his shoulders. "Honestly is easier to deal with your time of the month, Moony, no offense" he said looking at Remus. "So, what do you say?"

"About what?" Sirius asked, confused.

"The double date!" James said frustrated.

"Uh, I um-" Sirius said awkwardly. "I don't think so, mate. I'm not really interested in Emmeline like that" he said getting up as well. "Um, I'm gonna go see if Bambi's okay" he said, walking out of the Great Hall before any of them could stop him.

"What do you think is going on with him?" James asked confused. "And why is he checking on my sister?"

"Beats me" Remus said casually. He wouldn't be the one to tell his best friend that their other best friend was in a secret relationship with his sister.

Sirius ran after you as quickly as he could. He quickly made his way to the Library, knowing you went there when you didn't want your brother to bother you and he walked over to the last aisle. He saw you sitting there with your knees pulled to your chest as tears fell down your face. It felt as if someone grabbed a hammer and broke his heart into millions of pieces.

"Love" he said, kneeling next to you. You quickly tried to wipe away the tears falling down your cheeks but new ones just came.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"Sweetheart" he said, pulling you towards him. "You know I don't want to go out with Emmeline, right?" he said, as you tried to breathe normally.

"I g-guess" you sighed.

"Look at me" he said, gently lifting your chin with his finger and he then wiped your tears softly with his thumb. "I don't want to go out with anyone who's not you" he said genuinely.

"Sirius..." you said, pushing yourself away from him.

"And I swear we have not been flirting back and forth! I wouldn't do that-!"

"Sirius" you said again, making him pay attention to you. "It's fine" you said, with your voice breaking a little.

"W-what?" Sirius frowned, confused.

"Look, it is clear that your relationship with me is not as important as your relationship with James" you cried a little more. "S-so, if you want to just- e-end whatever this is, I completely understand and-"

"What?!" he said, raising his voice a little. The two of you heard someone shushing you all the way on the other side and he looked back at you. "Sweetheart, I don't want to end things" he pleaded. "I-is that what you want? I swear I haven't flirted with anyone since I came back here and-"

"It's not what I want, Sirius" you insisted. "B-but... I just... I don't know what to do! I don't know what you want-"

"I want to be with you, love!" he insisted.

"Do you? I barely get to see you anymore. We're in different houses, we're in different years the rest of the time you're with my brother and you don't want him or anyone else to know about us! I don't know how long I can keep doing this, Sirius. It just doesn't feel as if you actually want to be with me!"

"I do!"

"Then why can't we just tell James so he can stop setting you up with a different girl every week!" you blurted out. "You think he doesn't tell me things? That he hasn't told me how he noticed you've changed and you don't talk to girls anymore so he keeps trying to set you up with them!"

"Well, of course, I've changed! I'm with you now and I don't want to be with anyone else!"

"But he doesn't know that, Sirius! So he's most likely going to keep doing this until you get fed up and tell him! So, why not just tell him already? Do you not want people to know about us-?"

"No! That's not it!"

"Is it me? Are you embarrassed to be seen with me or something?"

"What? No! Love, how can you think that!?"

"I don't know what else to think Sirius! I don't even know what we are!"

"Please don't ever think that" he said with a stern look on his face. "Look, I know I fucked up yesterday, and today, and probably lots of other times. I've never done this before and I-" he sighed, running a hand through his hair frustrated. "I love you" he said, making your heart flutter instantly.

"Y-you what?"

"I love you, sweetheart, okay? I know that. I've known it for a while. I have never felt like this about anyone and... I don't want to lose you" he said with his voice breaking a little. "I know I've fucked up, I just..." he sighed again. "I don't want you to think that my relationship with James is more important than you. Nothing to me is more important than you, okay? But... love..." he said, looking away. "I got disowned" he said, quietly. "I was kicked out of my family and James..." he continued. "Without him, I wouldn't have anywhere to go. I wouldn't even have you" he explained. "And he's my best friend and he knows me more than anyone. You also know that I don't have the best dating reputation here and... I'm just... scared that he's going to hate me and... then I'll have no one" he said. "I know this isn't fair to you, this is all just... a lot and new to me, and I'm so sorry-"

"Sirius" you said, cupping his cheek with your hand and smiling at him. You pulled him gently and kissed his cheek. "First of all, I love you too" you said, making him smile back at you.

"Y-you do?"

"Of course, I do. Why do you think I was so upset about you going out with another girl this weekend-?"

"That was never going to happen-" he interrupted.

"Secondly, I understand where you're coming from about James" you told him. "And we don't have to tell him until you're ready" you said. "But James loves you too. You know in a different way" you said, making him laugh a little. "I think he loves you more than he loves me-"

"That's not true" he insisted, making you chuckle.

"Either way, he would never turn his back on you" you insisted. "And neither will I" you assured him. He pulled you closer, kissing your temple before he wiped away your remaining tears.

"I'm so sorry, love" he whispered. "I don't want you to feel this way" he said. "I feel like I keep screwing up and hurting you-"

"It's okay, love" you assured him. "I mean, it's not the most ideal situation" you admitted. "But, we don't have to tell him until you're ready" you said. "I just... I don't particularly love that girls keep chasing after you" you mumbled, feeling your cheeks burn.

Sirius gently lifted your face slowly so you would look at him. "I promise I don't want to go out with anyone who's not you, love" he said. "Y-you trust me, right?"

You smiled sweetly at him, brushing his cheek with your thumb. "Of course, I do, love" you said, giving him a peck on the lips. "I love you" you said, feeling your heart flutter at the sweet smile on his face.

"I love you too" he said, giving you another kiss.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

"Hey, mate, where did you disappear off to?" James asked when Sirius walked into the boys' dorm. "We didn't see you after lunch, or at Potions, Charms, or at dinner" he told him.

"I uh- was... around" he said, innocently.

"Mhm" James said, looking at Peter. "By yourself?" he asked, making Remus roll his eyes as he kept reading his book.

"I um... well... yeah" he shrugged

"Interesting" James said, sitting up.

"All afternoon?" Peter asked.

"Yes" he said, sitting on his bed and throwing his bag on the floor. "I went out and had a cigarette. What's the big deal?"

"You missed class-" Remus spoke for the first time.

"Nobody cares about that, Moony" James interrupted as he sat on his bed. "See, we happened to hear otherwise, Padfoot" he said, smirking at Sirius.

"What are you talking about, Prongs?" he frowned, looking between him and Remus.

"Well, since you obviously missed dinner, you missed what everyone was talking about" he continued.

"I doubt it was anything interesting-" Sirius started.

"Oh, but it was" James continued. "See it was about you and your new... girlfriend" he said, making Sirius' heart drop.

"M-my what now?"

"Your girlfriend" Remus said, suddenly very interested in the conversation, closing his book.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Padfoot, apparently someone saw you today walking out of the library with a mysterious girlfriend" James explained.

"That's insane" he said, chuckling nervously.

"No, mate, it's from a reliable source" Peter nodded.

"Really? Enlighten me, Wormy, who is your reliable source?"

"Marlene and Dorcas" James added. "They all said they saw you leaving with someone who had a Gryffindor scarf" he said, getting up and walking over to Sirius' bed. "So, either you have a Gryffindor girlfriend, or maybe you gave her your scarf" he said, sitting down next to him. "A bunch of girls were claiming it was them but according to Marls, it wasn't-"

"Do you really have nothing better to do than wondering if I am with someone-?"

"See, it all adds up" James continued. "Why you wouldn't go out with Emmeline, or any other girl for that matter" he said. "We just want to know why you didn't tell us!"

"Because it's none of your business!" Sirius said, getting up, frustrated.

"So it's true!" Peter smirked.

"I knew it!" James yelled at the same time. "Who is she?"

"You kind of built yourself up for that one, Pads" Remus told him.

"I didn't say it was true!" Sirius said, feeling nervous.

"You didn't deny it" James smirked. "C'mon Pads, tell us who she is!" Is it just a fling?"

"Yeah, who is this mystery girl and why did you hide it from us? Usually, you brag about your flings" Peter laughed.

"There's no mystery girl and it is not a fling-!"

"Again, you just keep setting yourself up, mate-" Remus intervened.

"Hey dorks, I need some food. I missed dinner" you said, suddenly entering your brother's dorm and the four boys turned to look at you.

"Oh, suddenly you're in a good mood again?" James asked, glaring at you a little.

"I am if you feed me" you said, walking over to your brother's night table because you knew he would have dinner's leftovers. Which coincidentally happened whenever you or Sirius would miss dinner.

"Hey, bug, did you hear about Sirius' secret girlfriend?" James asked suddenly, making you choke on the banana muffin munching on.

"W-what? Sirius has a secret girlfriend?" you pretended to be confused as Remus rolled his eyes when you sat next to him and dropped your bag on the floor.

"Yeah, we're trying to figure out who she is and why he didn't tell us" Peter added.

"Hold on" James said, sitting up and looking at your tossed bag on the floor. "What's that?"

"What's what?" you asked, with your mouth half-fulled at the same time Sirius did.

James noticed something peeking out of your bag. Something scarlet and gold. He quickly got up and grabbed it, taking it out.

"Why do you have a Gryffindor scarf?"

"I um-" you swallowed, nervously. "That's yours-"

"No" he insisted. "Mine is over there" he said, pointing at his opened trunk with his scarf on top, falling out of it.

"Uh- P-Prongs" Sirius started, but your brother looked deep in thought.

"How long do you reckon it's going to take him?" Remus muttered, sitting up.

"Oh for Merlin's sake! I can't take it anymore!" Sirius yelled, frustrated. "That's my scarf!"

"Now we'll never know" you mumbled, giving him a piece of your muffin.

"So, you're the mystery fling?" Peter asked with his jaw dropped.

"She's not a fling!" Sirius argued.

"Wait, how long has this been going on!?" James asked looking between you and Sirius.

"Well, we've actually been seeing each other since this summer" Sirius explained.

"SINCE SUMMER?!" James blurted out.

"Jamie, is not a big deal-" you tried.

"It is a big deal!" he argued. "How come I didn't know about this?" he asked, looking at Sirius.

"Well, I didn't know how you were going to react, Prongs and-"

"So you lied to me?"

"Technically we didn't lie" you told him. "We just didn't say anything-"

"Oh, don't use that with me, I invented that, bug" he glared at you. "Plus, today when we talked to Emmeline, you said you weren't dating!"

"No, I didn't" you argued.

"Yes, you did!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes, you did!" James complained as Remus, Sirius, and Peter kept looking between the two of you.

"No, actually, technically, I didn't" you insisted.

"Yes, you di- oohhh" he gasped, remembering your previous conversation. "You didn't! You clever bug, I'm impressed" he smirked, proudly as he gave you a high-fived and you accepted it, rolling your eyes a little. "So you two have been seeing each other for months now?"

"Pretty much" you said, still a bit nervous.

"And this is why you kept turning me down when I tried to set you up?" he asked Sirius.

"Yeah" he admitted.

"Are you happy with her?"

"I am. Very happy" Sirius quickly said.

"Are you happy with him?" he asked you.

"I really am" you replied.

"Okay" he said, sitting back on his bed.

"W-wait, you're... you're okay with this?" Sirius asked, extremely confused.

"Well, I don't love that you hid it from me but... yes, why wouldn't I be?" James shrugged.

"W-well, b-because I thought- are you kidding me? I thought you were going to kick my ass!"

"For dating my sister? You do know her, right? She's more than capable of kicking your ass" he laughed. "Plus, I'm assuming that since it's been going on for a long time it's... a serious relationship?"

"Well, we haven't had our first date yet, but... yes" Sirius said, sitting on your other side and holding your hand.

"Wait, you haven't had your first date, what the hell have you- no! You know what, I don't want to know" James said, glaring at you as you laughed.

"See, mate? I told you James wouldn't mind" Remus said, patting Sirius on the back and erasing James' smile off his face.

"E-excuse me?" James said, getting upset. "Remus knew?"

"Prongs" Sirius said getting up at the same time.

"You mean to tell me that the two of you have been together for months and YOU TOLD REMUS BEFORE ME?!!" he snapped.

"It was an accident, mate-"

"Oh, I'm sure it was!" James said, glaring at Sirius. "I can't believe you did this to me! Why would you betray me like this?!"

"I'm sorry, Prongs! I can make it up to you, okay? Honeydukes, this Saturday, I'll buy you all the candy you want!"

James stood there with his arms crossed. "... I'm listening" he caved.

"But I thought we were having our first date-"

"Oh, don't you even think so, bug! Remus knew!"

"This is going to be my whole life, isn't it?" you asked Remus and Peter.

"Yes."

The End

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

A/N: I know this was a roller coaster of emotions but I hope you loves liked it! :D

[minhosimthings]

Fault

Prompt by @banghyunchanji : Imagine when Chan finds out that your manager is making you perform the day after you have a miscarriage.

Pairings - Idol!Husband!Chan × Soloist!Fem!Wife!reader

Warnings: Mentions of pregnancy, reader has a miscarriage, angst with a shit ton of comfort, mentions of food, chan has a nightmare

A/N: saw this one gif and I just had to write it! I don't like the way I wrote the ending much but I think this was my favorite descriptions to write. Thank you to @banghyunchanji for the prompt! I hope all of you like it.

"Channie-" you gasped for air. The lilac painted room, your favourite colour, seemed to be whirling around and you swore you could see the moon dancing up in the sky through the magnificent windows. Why was the moon shining tonight? Why were the city lights still turned on? Why were the buildings still stinking of coffee? Why wouldn't the world stop for you?

More under the cut

"Channie- I-Im-" Chan immediately pulled you into his chest, engulfing you in a warm comforting fire, as all the crystals you've held in your eyes started coming out. Chan felt the fabric of his shirt getting wetter and wetter, but he couldn't care less. His eyes were bloodshot, illuminating his dark circles, from all the days you got him back home at midnight from the studio.

"Shh princess. Shh, it's alright it's alright." Chan rubbed circles on your wrist, always a way of calming you down, "I'm here. I'm here." He tried to keep his voice from cracking.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Your voice tried to be stable, and your soul tried to stop itself from bleeding. Chan's heart broke into a more than a million pieces, probably enough to scatter the entire world. "Baby no~" he shushed you, his voice as warm as a freshly baked pecan pie, your favourite wasn't it? "It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's. No shhh don't cry baby, you're still very weak." He held you tighter, as your tears dried up, "you'll only get weaker. Have some water, come on."

Chan got you up slowly, hands resting on your waist, trying not to float over to your stomach, where stitches lie, tightly packed, but still bleeding gold. He pressed a glass of water to your lips, gently lifting it, so that your throat could get a drop of hydration.

"thank you." You whispered, laying back down on the bed. Chan smiled gently at you, a weak attempt at calming you down. You could see the rotten pain in his smile, his dimple shining less than it usually did. "It's alright." He mumbled into your ear, as you wrapped your arms around him, as he spoke a lie which would perhaps become a disguised truth, "Everything's gonna be alright."

The next day

"Alright Mrs Bang," the doctor clapped her hands together, rearranging her stethoscope around her bruised neck, "Your tests are looking good. I think you're free to go home today! But please-" she turned to Chan, who had his hand wrapped around your shoulder, "-make sure she doesn't do any physical activity. I know, her being a top class soloist is hard, but she absolutely cannot do any physical activity until her next checkup." Chan smiled gently at the doctor and shook her hand bracingly. "Thank you Dr Yang. And I'll make sure she doesn't even move a limb until you say so." Dr Yang laughed heartily and moved out the door, chan following behind her, while a nurse removed all the saline bottles hooked up to your veins. "Thank you." You said, as she threw all the bottles into the bin. She looked like a warm presence, with her hair tied into a bun, exactly how your mother used to do it. "It's alright." She fidgeted with her fingers. She mus'nt have been older than you, probably three or two years younger. "Uh Ma'am?" She approached, "I know it's insensitive to ask you in such times like this. B-but-" she looked down at the floor, "my little girl, she's 15 and she really loves your songs a-and her birthday is coming up and I saved up enough to buy her one of your albums." Your heart warmed at her words, distracting you from what happened the night before. "It really would mean the world to me if you could sign the pc. I would love to see her this weekend, since we haven't been talking much." You smiled at her and took the pc she offered you. You traced the frame of the pc and laughed at your younger self posing for the photo, dressed in a tube top that would barely fit you now. "Here you go." You handed the pen and the pc back to the nurse. "May I ask, you seem so young to have a child? Were you-" you lingered in the last words as the nurse smiled again. "Got pregnant when I was 16." She let out a chuckle. "Couldn't let my baby go, so I endured it for nine months, and now she lives with another family. I visit her from time to time to give her gifts and remind her I still exist. She's started calling me mom now!" Your heart engulfed in flames hearing the nurse's words. The excitement with which she talked about her daughter was so melodious to you, like hearing one of Chan's songs before the rest of the kids did. It was like that word you read once what was it what was it? Ukiyo! The Japanese word. To be unbothered by the duties of life, when your heart tells you to. A beautiful word, you thought. Languages really are pretty, more prettier when you notice for the first time, that you weren't alone.

"Baby can I lie down on the bed for a minute?" You had finally reached home after what seemed like the longest drive of your life. It felt lonely, to have nothing in your arms instead of having a crying baby. You didn't mention a word of it to Chan. True, letting go is easier than keeping it in, but as you looked at his bloodshot eyes and remembered Minho telling you in secret about how much your husband wept, you decided to keep it in just a little bit.

"Sure darling." Chan guided you slowly to the bedroom, his arms holding you so tight yet so fragile, "I'll wake you up when you need to eat alright?" He kissed your forehead as you hummed in response, drifting off into peacefully troubled sleep.

"Ahh fuck." You groaned as you woke up. You checked the time on your phone. It hadn't even been fifteen minutes since you slept. You decided that it was best to wake up and go outside to your husband, instead of laying in bed with your pillow giving you the worst ideas.

"Ch-channie?" You voiced out, nervously stepping into the kitchen. You couldn't see a broad shouldered figure clad in black anywhere in the kitchen, so you gave up your search there and instead strolled over to the living room.

There he was. Dozing off on the sofa, without a blanket. You smiled at him gently shivering every now and then. You could hear him muttering something in his sleep.

"No- not- fault", he kept muttering, "ocean-give the". He started shivering a little more violently, and you could see his fingers start to fidget. You sighed and went over to his sleeping figure, and upon closer inspection you saw that his eyes were twitching uncontrollably.

"Baby?" You shook him gently, to which he groaned but still didn't open his eyes. "Channie wake up." You shook him more harshly this time. "Wh-what?" He mumbled, slowly opening his eyes and blinking up at you, as he usually did on the rare times that he fell asleep. "Baby were you having a nightmare?" You plopped down next to him on the couch and wrapped a blanket around both of you. As if it was a natural response, Chan wrapped his arms around you and buried his head into your neck. "Just had a dream about the ocean." He mumbled into your neck. "Alright Mr Huggabear." You chuckled, feeling his breath on your neck, "How about we order something hmm?" Chan nodded, still not removing himself from the crook of your neck.

You picked up your phone and quietly tapped your fingers on it, ordering all of Chan's favourites, without him knowing, as he was still deep in your neck. "I'll pay." You heard him mumble, trying to stifle a yawn. "It's alright baby." You stroked his curly hair, "I already paid so you don't hav-"

The sound of the bell echoing through your house slightly startled you. Was the delivery man already here? That was certainly quick, you thought as you decided to give the delivery man a tip for his speed.

"I'll go darling. You sit." Chan finally got up, rubbing his eyes. You smiled up at Chan and got up anyways to turn the tv on, switching to the last episode of Hannibal.

"Uh baby?" You heard Chan call your name from across the house, "Paul's here!"

Paul was one of your many managers, the main one you could say. And yes, only ONE of your many managers, because a world class soloist has got to have atleast a hundred of them right?

"Hey Y/N!" Paul walked in casually, followed by some members of staff. You felt slightly uncomfortable having so many people in your house, but like a good Samaritan, you kept it in. Chan followed behind.

"Nice of you to drop in Paul." Chan smiled, "Please do sit down." Paul plopped down on the sofa opposite you as Chan sat down next to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder. "What can we do for you Paul?" You smiled gently. Paul brushed a hair out of his face and pulled out a paper, giving it to you. "So I got the schedule for your shows." Paul smiled brightly, "Tomorrow you'll be performing in Busan and for the next month-" "I'm sorry can we pause for a moment?" Chan's stern voice shut Paul up. "She can't perform." He took the paper from your hands, and gave it back to Paul, "She's on maternal leave you know that right?" Chan eyebrows were furrowed and anger was starting to creep up to his face. You put your hand on his, a weak attempt to calm him down.

"Now now-" Paul laughed awkwardly, "no need to get angry Mr Banhg. But this is entirely Y/N's buisness not yours." "Excuse me?"

You felt Chan visibly shake beside you. "Channie-" you whispered, in a vain attempt to calm him down. "This is my buisness, she's my wife incase you didn't know. And she just had a miscarriage, so could you atleast pretend to be sympathetic, you fucking Asshole?" Flames seemed to erupting from Chan, as Paul scoffed, looking offended. "Mr Bangh I really suggest you not use such language." "And I suggest you leave right now." Chan fired back, as you watched the scene unfold, not being able to do anything, "Tell PD Nim that she cannot perform and whe most certainly will not."

"Mr Bangh." Paul started, but Chan was quicker in his words. "Nothing you say will convince me to let her go so please I suggest you leave."

"Whatever." Paul scoffed, getting up along with the rest of the staff and swinging his bad over his shoulder. "When she loses her fans because of her laziness, don't tell me I didn't tell you so." You could have punched Paul right then and there and you were going to if Chan hadn't gotten to him quicker. The glass vase on the round table fell off and shattered noisily as Chan slammed Paul into a wall. You heard gasps from the rest of the staff members and you rushed over to Chan, holding him by his arm and whispering "let him go Channie he's not worth our time" into his ear. Chan begrudgingly let go of Paul who adjusted his collar quickly and scampered out the door, along with the staff. "Hey!" Chan called out to the last staff member who was about to leave. She turned around quickly and bowed to Chan. "Tell JYP that Y/N will be on a hiatus for the next three months and Bang Chan from Stray Kids will also be on hiatus for very related reasons. Put emphasis on the related. Got it?" The girl nodded frantically and rushed out the door.

"Chan" you sighed heavily, "Alright that slamming into the wall was hot, but what was the hiatus about?" Chan meekly smiled up at you, a total contrast to how he was five minutes ago. "You're not going anywhere nor are you doing anything related to performing in three months. You're staying at home and I'm feeding you chocolate and hugs and kisses until you die." You laughed heartily and plopped down onto the couch, getting the food that had magically appeared at the doorstep.

"I love you Channie." You rested your head on his shoulder, leaning into his warmth. "I love you too babygirl." Chan kissed your forehead, "More than you could ever know."

[userparamore]

I get that you don’t like Taylor but can you not see paramores growth as band because of the eras tour they seem so happy to be on that stage every night be grateful for that

first of all i don't really understand why you're coming for me over post that isn't even mine. second of all i'm allowed to be a fan of a band and be critical of them at the same time, and i've expressed my disappointment over this since the tour was announced. i'm not gonna beat a dead horse and bring up why i'm critical of this tour again in this answer, but the act of them being on this tour really says a lot about them for me in a negative way, and i think it's hypocritical of them after preaching about sustainability and equal rights for all.

paramore is also not some small indie band no one has heard of. they've been doing this for 20 years, they've sold out big venues, played madison square garden multiple times, they played their biggest show ever on the this is why aus&nz tour with 26,283 tickets sold in sydney. multiple of their biggest songs on spotify is close to a billion streams and they have 21 million monthly listeners. all this growth they've done, they've done on their own- sure it's nice that more people discover them, but they didn't need this tour to be successful. they already were.

also for me personally, this tour leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i come from a country where if i'm lucky they tour once every album cycle. i've been lucky to see them 2 times and the last time was in 2017. they played a festival so i didn't get to see a full set. they've been to my country four times total and 1 concert wasn't a festival. the eras tour didn't have a show in my country, and i wasn't about to fight swifties for tickets that are extremely expensive. in the end my friend ended up having a spare ticket to one of the vienna shows bc the person they were originally gonna go with ended up not being able to go, and i was asked if i wanted to go. me and this friend first became friends bc we both liked paramore, and they've never been able to see them live. travelling to vienna to have that experience together, i would sit through 3h of taylor swift for. i spent close to 2000 dollars on the whole trip including the ticket, for it to end up being cancelled. very happy we didn't die, but it still sucked to have spent all that money and the not be able to go. especially since this would've been my friend's first paramore live experience.

i'm happy they're having fun playing their greatest hits for 3 months. i'm happy for my mutuals who's been able to go and have had a good time. the money they earn will probably go to their new label, and hopefully we won't have to wait 5 years for new music. but don't tell me to be grateful.

i try my best to make this community a welcoming space. i try my best to contribute with gifs and edits, and post news when there are news. i've hosted countdown events, i've hosted/made zines, i've hosted gif challenges. i want to do all these things bc it's fun to be part of this community and i love the friends i've made here. but i can still do all those things, and not have to kiss paramore's ass. i can still express myself and speak on the things i don't agree with bc it's my blog. we've had "debates" in my inbox before, people have expressed their opinions on paramore before, and it's always respectful which i appreciate. we as a community can disagree on things and still be a community.

[laenordeservedbetter]

If Only You Knew — Rhaenyra Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Summary: You demand an answer to why the princess has been meddling in your affairs.

Words: 1.2k

Pairing: Rhaenyra Targaryen x Fem!Reader

Warning: Internalized homophobia (it gets resolved quickly), fighting, language

For those who aren't aware, the word "queer" can mean "odd". I want to clarify things in case there's any confusion in the first paragraph. And as always, I made a Taylor Swift song reference here. I saw an opportunity and I took it. If any of you are wondering, yes, this is also from my other account but I'm posting it here.

not my gif. || main masterlist || previous work

—

The entirety of your stroll in the woods with a potential suitor had been to your liking up until Rhaenyra knocked him off with her horse. The Princess whom you have shared your childhood with was acting unmistakably queer nowadays. She did not have the slightest bit of decorum when she gawked at the unfortunate lord, her eyes flaring with vexation. If you look hard enough, you might be able to witness a fire burning among them. It was no secret that whoever faces the end of Rhaenyra’s wrath would not see another day without terror. You could have reasoned to yourself that Rhaenyra was just having a lamentable time if this was the first lord she drove off in your presence. No matter how much you give effort, you want to express to Rhaenyra that she has taken this too far for it was not the first, second, or fifth time she destroyed your meetings. It was the nth.

Rhaenyra prided herself in her scrupulous attention to detail, confirming that she knows where and when you would be if you are not by her side. “I thought you could use some saving so I asked around.” She says as if what she did was no big deal.

You storm off angrily, no remark spewing out of your mouth even if there are a million things you could say to the princess right about now.

Why is she being so infuriating? Can’t she see that if I don’t find a lord to marry me sooner than late, my family’s reputation would be ruined?! I am not like her! She knows I am not a princess and that I am disposable yet here she is again, coming in my territory and demolishing my chances of getting a husband!

“Lady Y/n, wait! Y/n, where are you going?!” Rhaenyra tugs at the reins of her horse, urging the animal to go faster in order to reach you in time. You look back, seeing that she is close. Regardless of Rhaenyra having the upper hand, you will yourself to pick up the pace, now absorbed in running. “You’ll get injured! Please slow down!”

“Go fuck yourself!” You force yourself into a halt as Rhaenyra blocks your path. Her catching up to you was bound to happen due to her having a horse, though that does not mean you were happy with the outcome.

Rhaenyra gasps, her face and neck shining with sweat. She holds a hand next to her heart, out of breath from speedily winning the makeshift race that you launched. If only you knew how much you mean to her, maybe you’d see her motives in a different light. Once Rhaenyra gets off the horse, she walks over to explain.

However, you steal that chance from her by beginning to get your thoughts off of your chest. “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, RHAENYRA?! DO YOU HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE RUINING MINE? I… I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? DID YOU DECIDE ‘HEY, I’M GOING TO SCARE OFF Y/N’S SUITORS’ ON A WHIM? THAT LORD WAS MY LAST CHANCE. NOW, ALL THANKS TO YOU, NO ONE WILL WANT ME!” Your chest tightens as your eyes fill with unshed tears. If only Rhaenyra knows why she cannot have you to herself all the time…

The Princess bites the insides of her cheek, struggling to locate the right words to offer you. “I… I didn’t know you disapproved.”

Because you have already released what you needed to let out, you instantly feel obligated to hear Rhaenyra’s side. You walk until her face has the littlest distance from yours as possible. You would make sure she knows that – “Rhaenyra Targaryen, you are my best friend. But in spite of that, there are days when you cause me a large sum of misery. Tell me what is causing you such distress and I’ll fix it so that you can go on your merry way and I can do my job as a lady.” You stated miserably, feeling defeated. You didn’t want to ruin your friendship over this mistake. Deep down, you cherish Rhaenyra above the laws of gods and men. Except you think it is wrong to feel this way. The Septas in the keep surely think so. What you feel for her is more than friendship. Someday, those feelings might get you killed if that information gets into the wrong hands.

“Do you really want to know?” Rhaenyra blinks, her amethyst eyes swimming with tears. When she bares her soul to you, Rhaenyra thinks you will not feel the same. No matter, she mutters inside her head that is drowning in a sea filled with thoughts of her own making. If this will be the last time I can hold her close to me, I will not let my chance slip away like a moment in time because she was never mine to start off with.

You shake your head, getting prepared for heartbreak.

“I love you.”

The words ring in your ears like the chants of the men during tourneys. She cannot mean… There’s a lump in your throat that is acting as a barrier for your response, feeling like it’s all dried up. You laugh it off. Rhaenyra always jested in major circumstances.

“If you think I am jesting, then you are wrong. I am telling the truth, Y/n/n.” Rhaenyra admits, “When I see you with those suitors, it feels like my heart is not mine own and I have the urge to scare them off because I should be the one doing those grand gestures. Not them. You are my best friend. You don’t know what I’d do if someone unworthy of your love came to take you away. You don’t know what I’d do for you. Despise me all you want but that would not relinquish my desire of protecting you from them. What I feel… It’s real. I know it is,”

“Fuck the Septas, fuck the Kingdom, and fuck whoever decided that a woman’s only duty is to get married and produce heirs. We can live our lives together wherever you want. Say the word and we’ll go somewhere free of our duty. . . Or. . . If you cannot look at me the same way, I’ll go. You will not see me again. I would do all those things because I love you so much it appears as if a dragon is burning me alive on the inside every occasion that I see you entertain someone else.”

You clutch Rhaenyra’s hand, “I love you too, Rhaenyra.” Nothing else matters in the world upon hearing the words you’ve wanted to listen to since you fell in love. “Let’s run away.”

Rhaenyra grins from ear to ear while you connect your lips together. Her hands circle around your waist to keep you as close as possible. You melt against her, forbidding any rational thought to cross your mind and allowing Rhaenyra to take the lead. She hasn’t been this happy for a long time.

When you pull away for air, Rhaenyra turns her head to the distance, surveying the dragonpit. “Would you mind if I bring Syrax with us?”

“No, Princess. I love that dragon as much as you do.”

“That I will not question, my lady.”

You can say that love is the death of duty.

[elvisabutler]

i'm on my knees and i can't wait to taste your rain

summary: austin is such a good boy for his mama. the best of boys especially at the oscars. rating: m. word count: 1943 ( blurbs, i said. blurbs. ) warnings: mommy kink. oral ( f ). dom/sub dynamic. anxiety attacks being alluded to as well as general anxiety. public play. vibrating cockring. orgasm control. the oscars? author's note: so. welcome to day three of kinktober: mommy kink with austin. if i haven't made it very clear, i love writing sub austin so much. you could give me a million prompts of it and i'd enjoy writing this man being a good boy. absolute puppy of a man, y'all. also treat me nice fans, peep me dropping sub austin in another closet/bathroom. i'm really enjoying kinktober, y'all. if you knew the things i had up my sleeves. also gif credit to @karamelcoveredolicity who blessed us all with this.

Austin is a good boy, a good man, a good puppy. He's polite to a fault, hardworking and one of the kindest souls you have every had the pleasure of knowing. Austin is gorgeous but seems to enjoy pretending he isn't, he seems to enjoy pretending that if acting doesn't pan out he could model. It'd be annoying on anyone but Austin.

But Austin is also one of the more anxious people you've met. He stays too much in his own head and can't always get himself out of it. You realize this when he's so nervous for an interview that he's shaking and no matter what trick or technique he tried he couldn't calm himself. The only thing that had worked was your hands on his shoulders telling he'd be okay over and over until you had heard him say "I heard you, mama" softly. The phrase sends such a shock to your system that you drop your hands so quickly you'd have thought Austin's skin was on fire. Austin's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to say something- anything- to explain himself before he's dragged to the proper backstage. You weren't his mama, you had done something like that other people, but to Austin? No, that hadn't crossed your mind. You weren't sure if you could do it. You stay in the dressing room until Austin comes back in. His lower lip is essentially completely in his mouth has he gnaws on it. You frown realizing just how far he's back in his head looking at you.

"Tell mama what's wrong, baby boy." You whisper as you stand up and take his hands in your own.

The relief on his face at your words and the way he sags against your body tell you that you made the right choice with your words that night. You learned just how much he needed a mama like you, someone to help him, someone to be there for him when others wouldn't be or wouldn't do. It made you wonder why you ever thought you couldn't do this with him. As he said that night and so many other nights in your lap.

"I think you might have been made just for me. Just to be my mama and to live your own life."

He only ever has said it in your lap, you never press about it otherwise.

Oscar season was going to be rough no matter what, you both knew this. It's why you had made sure that your schedule- as packed as it normally was at the beginning of the year was clear. It was an adjustment, telling your job that yes, you needed this time blocked off and if anyone needed your help you'd be available to talk but not for extensive amounts of time. You didn't usually attach conditions to your relationship with Austin, either as his mama or as his girlfriend but you had asked him to after award season was done to respect the fact that you were going to basically be living at the office. He had agreed with a bit of a pouty lip, but he was an adult, he could handle it.

It's the night of the ceremony and you specifically had told Austin that while it was the most important night of his life, he also needed to be in the moment enough to enjoy it. The two of you had come up with the idea of the vibrating cockring. By now- months from that interview you had learned that controlling when Austin could orgasm- controlling how hard his cock could be- was the best way to ensure he stayed focused and in the moment with you. You know you're not famous enough to be next to him in the cast pictures, you're not famous at all really but you still try and stay close, the remote for his cock ring in the pocket of your dress. It's in one of the photos on the red carpet that you see his hand shaking behind Priscilla's back and you turn up the vibration setting one level.

You can hear his intake of breath from a distance and you see his hand has stopped shaking before you realize that he's walking over to you with eyes that have had their pupils overtake most of the iris. His hand moves to grab your arm in an attempt to pull you close enough for him to whisper in your ear.

"Mama, I can't- you can't do that when I'm by Priscilla, she thought something was wrong." He practically hisses. There's no malice in his tone just worry that he exposed himself.

You smile for the cameras that are taking both of your pictures before leaning in to his ear and turning the vibration up one more level. "I'm your mama, baby boy, I can do it when I want. You were shaking. You needed it."

He opens his mouth to deny it before you raise your eyebrows and tilt your head just so, a sign that he knows means you will accept no arguments from him. Instead he shuts his mouth and moves to kiss you, something he knows the camera will enjoy. Austin Butler, man of the hour, the one who's likely to be the only one to take on Brendan Fraser for the best actor prize, kissing his lawyer girlfriend. He grabs your face as he's done a million times, both hands cupping your cheeks and you for once mirror him in front of the cameras, your own hands moving to cup his cheeks. He nuzzles into them and you can't help the soft smile that crosses your lips as you kiss him when you feel it.

"Color, baby boy?" You ask as you pull away.

"Green." A beat, and a murmur. "Need you though, mama. Need to taste your pussy when we go in. Please?"

You chuckle softly as you pull away. "Be good and we'll see."

Being good was a challenge, it shouldn't have been but you decided to up the ante to make sure Austin didn't start to panic about what was going to be happening tonight. What might not happen tonight. By the time you and him are at the end of the red carpet Austin's practically vibrating as if the cockring is making his whole body vibrate with it. His arm is around you and his mouth is by your ear the second you're away from the constant flashes of cameras.

"Please mama, please, I've been good. You're being mean but I'm such a good boy. Such a great boy for you." The words come out in what sounds like Elvis's southern drawl, half slurred and you find that it does something for you. Enough of something that you find yourself dragging him to the nearest room with a lock and forcing him in there. The second the door is locked you're bunching up your dress. The joys of buying your own and wearing it, you didn't have to worry about a designer getting mad you wrecked it.

"On your knees, Austin." You say as you shimmy out of your underwear.

He doesn't even hesitate his knees hitting the floor with a thump that has you wincing before you feel his tongue against your slit, causing a surprised "oh" to leave your mouth. He blows a puff of cold air against the warm line he had just left before humming and diving in. He eats you out like a man starved, his tongue flicking at your clit before dipping into your cunt a pale imitation of his dick or his fingers but the sensation of something slipping in and out of your cunt as quick as his tongue does has you gripping at the table behind you. He pulls away when he realizes your hands aren't in his hair.

"Hair, mama."

Two words before he's back against your core, focusing his attention on sucking at your clit, his faint 5 o'clock shadow scraping at cunt and the insides of your thighs. You let your hands move down to his hair, pulling it and earning a groan as well as a shiver from him. You know you have to be quiet, you two can't get caught, not tonight of all nights so you bite your lips even as you feel Austin's fingers join his tongue, curling just so to have your hips bucking against his face his nose putting pressure on your clit. You two are going to get caught but maybe it's worth it. Maybe it's worth it to make your baby boy happy, to give him the reward he deserved for being so good on the red carpet. To give him an incentive to be good throughout the ceremony.

"Such a good boy for your mama, Austin. The best boy a mama can ask for, god, baby, right there, fuck-" You whimper your thighs clenching around his head as you feel yourself right on the edge of coming. Austin smiles against you and nips at your clit and you clench even tighter as your toes curl and you lean back, your head hitting the wall behind you and your back arching before you come back down in a flash. Austin doesn't stop licking, almost as if he's trying to clean up the mess he made of you before he pulls back, his mouth covered in your juices.

"Best boy?" His eyes are a little lidded, but not enough that you're concerned for his well being. This is what he needed, this should settle him enough for most of the ceremony.

Your hand moves to the lapel of his jacket and you use the grip to pull him up to a standing position as best as you can. "The absolute best boy. A boy who's earned not having the cock ring on. Because mama knows her best boy can hold off on coming without it. Can't he?"

He nods slowly as he watches your hand sneak into his pants and with an ease he marvels at, manage to get the ring off without too much trouble. He sees your underwear on the floor and grabs them as you put the cock ring in your clutch. You eye the underwear until he says something.

"Can I keep them for a good luck charm tonight?" He asks, his face contorting into what you'd like to say is the best impression of a puppy dog that you've ever seen before. It makes your heart hurt and feel so full of love that you can't help but kiss Austin before you answer, tasting yourself on his lips.

"You can. Going to keep being a good boy tonight?" It's a question you don't need to ask but you figure checking in won't hurt as you straighten out your dress.

"With your panties in my pocket? Why wouldn't I be, mama?" He looks in the mirror and fixes his hair before turning to you. "Back out to that?"

"Back out to that, baby boy." You nod, taking his hand and squeezing it. "You're gonna win. Trust me when Mama says that."

He does and when he's thanking his mama in his speech everyone thinks he's just talking about Lori. And you know he is, but you also know his eyes don't ever leave yours when he says I couldn't have done this without my mama and you know it wasn't just her he was talking about. He might be the best boy in all of world to you, but to him, you might just be the best mama in all of the world.

[hellhound5925]

I’m back! And back with something I promise will be worth it! (I freaking love this gif and have been looking for an excuse to use it 😂)

One Shot - Sargent Hunter

“It’s better this way” (Part One)

So we can argue that 'The Love You Want' and 'Blood Sport' by Sleep Token inspired this. If you haven't, give them a listen and think about it from Hunter's POV. Also I'm going to throw a name in but feel free to read it as whoever you want. This will be a few parts and end happy I promise! Probably going to be some cute romantic smut so please stick around!

Warnings:

18+, heartbreak, smut, (I'm bad at warnings let me know if I missed anything) mentions of blood (unintentional self harm?). References to stars exploding. Female character/reader.

Summary:

Relationships during wartime are tough...you'd know that better than anyone. Being a Mandalorian, you has been asked to train clones on Kamino. It just felt like the right thing to do, and what confirmed that for you was the moment the handsome Sargent had his eyes on you. Eventually letting him get to know you, you felt deep and hard for the man, but the reality of the war was forever in the back of your mind....

————

The last few days have been full of moping around and trying to avoid the love of my life...yeah thats right I said it...he's the love of my life...however the reality of the war knocking on my door telling me he's been killed in action is one of the toughest pills to swallow. Having decided it would be easier to let him go than to bare the heartache, I've been trying to find the right words to say to make him understand.

I'm so lost in my own head, sharpening my blades I almost missed it, "Hey" Hunter’s voice comes from over my shoulder. The tone is a somber one, making my heart shatter like glass into millions of tiny shards. For a moment I hesitate, wondering if I should pick up the pieces or move on - I knew this was going to be hard, I just didn't realize how hard...Two strong arms wrap around my torso, pulling me from my thoughts, and instinctively I push them away.

"We need to talk" I mutter as a tear slides down my cheek. Quickly, I wipe it away before turning to face him all while avoiding his eyes. He's not stupid...it doesn't take enhanced senses to know what's going on, but I'm sure it intensifies things... his hand moves towards my face and this time I allow the contact as he turns my face up towards his. I immediately get lost, those big beautiful brown eyes that let you know your the star at the very center of his universe. The sun that gives life to the surrounding planets.

His voice is as calm as darkness of space, deep and almost apologetic "Please talk to me Mesh'la. I know you're in pain." Sucking in a shaky breath, I attempt to steady myself. "I think it's best if we both go our separate ways" the sentence comes falling out of my mouth before my brain can even catch up.

I search his face for any indication of a reaction but get none. He doesn't move, doesn't speak, doesn't even blink for that matter. It's like someone pressed the pause button and all of the galaxy comes to a screeching halt. Meanwhile I tear his apart, the star at the center running out of nuclear fuel, causing a collapse at it's core, ending in a large galactic explosion.

Without another word or explanation, I decide it's best to give him some time to deal with the black hole now left behind. I storm off down the hall, walking much faster that I intended to, escaping the situation. Tears stream down my face and a few clones passing by exchange concerned looks. I'm suddenly filled by anger - I just gave up on him…on us, I don't need your pity - I think to myself.

The feeling of something warm in my hand catches my attention, stopping my in my tracks. Looking down I realize I still have one of my blades in my hand and I've been white knuckling it, the crimson liquid seeps between the cold durasteel and my skin. For a moment I watch as it drips to the floor, creating a small puddle that spatters with each drop. As I watch, string of curses in my native language of Mando'a grace my lips with their presence.

A familiar voice calls my name “Circe?” Without taking my eyes off the drips that have my undivided attention, “Elek? (Yes?)” I mutter - brain still working in Mando’a. The crimson drips are picking up their pace but I can’t help but watch in a trance. I can hear a set of plastoid boots hitting the permacrete growing closer. “You are injured, I would get that looked at if I were you.” Slowly I reach for the blade with my other hand and Tech moves like he’s going to stop me, “I would not—“ I cut him off, hissing as I pull the blade from the wound. The cut is deep and now that it’s hit the air, it stings. He sighs in annoyance “Come with me. You need to get cleaned up.”

In the med bay I don’t meet his gaze. He has no idea how I’ve hurt his vod (brother), not yet anyways. Once he’s finished, he stands in front of me as I stare at the white bandage now wrapped around my palm. “That should do it for now. You will need to have it changed tomorrow. Come find me then.” When he’s done talking, I expect him to move but he doesn’t. I finally raise my head and meet his eyes. The same big brown eyes he shares with so many others look back at me and one particular Clone Sargent comes to mind, I come completely undone.

Not a sound leaves my lips, but tears stream down my face. Tech looks around frantically as if something will appear of thin air and offer an explanation. I’ve always been able to confided in him, he’s my best friend but we never talked about how I felt…he never saw this coming. “I ended it” my voice cracks. The look on his face tells me he’s put two and two together, his eyebrows look as if they are trying to find a new home within his hair line and just when I think his eyes couldn’t get bigger they do. And just then, in his eyes another star burns up into nothing. I can’t blame him for how he might feel, I broke his vod’s (brothers) heart and no one saw it coming.

Composing himself from the shock, he clears his throat and straightens his goggles - as if they needed it. “I am sorry to hear that” is all he says. I can’t lose my best friend too…not now. “I can’t lose him” I blurt out, sounding way more desperate than I intended to. He gives me a confused look. “If he dies out there…” I can’t even finish the thought it hurts like a thousand blades cutting deep into my core. Tears stream more persistently down my face, clouding my vision.

“You do not want to lose him out there…so you push him away here?” Confusion dripping from his voice.

“I know it doesn’t make sense but Tech trust me…it’s better this way.”

“Better for who exactly?”

“For me.” He doesn’t respond and silence once again fills the room. I don’t know why I’m trying to explain this to him…he doesn’t and won’t understand. Pushing myself off the exam table, I stride past him towards the door. I hesitate for a moment, “This will hurt less in the end.” And with that I head down the hall to prepare to teach my next class.

Taglist:

@cloneloverrrrr @lune-de-miel-au-paradis @idoubleswearimawriter @maybethatfanfictionwriter

@savebytheodore @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @jediknightjana @techs-goggles9902 @clonethirstingisreal

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Friday everyone! We are in the final 5 episodes of S1. Can't believe it. Thank you to everyone who's been on this ride with me.

1x16 Greenlight

Let me start with this. This is the episode I always dread watching for s1. Not cause it isn’t good. Its very good. Heartbreaking but well done. Always makes me cry with Capt Anderson... Well off we go. FYI This episode was sadly a gif desert. Which is sad since it's Zoe Anderson's Swan Song. So I'm going to be using a lot of screen shots I took with my phone to fill the gaps ha.

Episode starts off with Capt Anderson telling them all about doing reversals this week. Having undercover cops making sure everyone is on the up and up. Reporting back to IA what they discover. Tim isn’t a fan of these. Feels it’s just cops ratting out other cops. Think's its a waste of time and resources.

Lucy needless to say has an opinion on the matter. She thinks if it helps their image to the public she doesn’t see the problem. That it even sounds like its worth doing. Tim being the deeply loyal person he is doesn’t see it that way. (He also has some past issues with IA) He sees it as a betrayal not something that will help them in the long run internally. Tim goes on to say it has to do with trust. How can they trust one another if they’re trying to get each other to screw up?

Lucy makes a crack about his Tim tests in her rebuttal. You can see it rubs him the wrong way when she does. Always challenging him. I do love that about her. Makes him think about why he does what he does. His heart is in the right place when it comes to those tests. Especially with Lucy. I think whenever she gives him crap for his tests it unintentionally brings up his dad issues. Its why he's so defensive. That's far in the future those being addressed but I think it still holds true. Clearly she has no idea she's doing that. He sure as hell doesn't realize thats the reason yet either. But that's a discussion to be had in the distant future.

To Tim he’s building her up to be the best cop she can be. Doing it to protect her for when she’s on her own someday. To have Lucy reach the potential he see's in her. If he didn’t do that he would fail her as her T.O. So once again his intentions are good natured when to comes to that. To her. For Tim its giving her the best tools he can. Lucy knows this but can’t help but give him a hard time about it. She wouldn't be her if she didn’t do this. Hehe it’s written all over her face in that last gif above.

First off I love me some wet Tim Bradford. A+ visual right here. Second Lucy is so cute being all star struck by Mario Lopez. It is funny to watch Tim be rude to him. Because Mario and Eric are close in real life. Sure they both had a blast filming this scene. That cute little smile on her face dissipates when Tim hands her back his stuff.

She knows it’s right back to business. Mario takes the worst tactic he could with them. Honestly its what gives him away. By trying to bribe his way out of his ticket. Tim is already on edge due to these reversals and this sets him off. As he is reading Mario the riot act he realizes this is a reversal. Then he looks over and see’s Murphy from IA in her car across the street. He sets off to talk with her.

She makes a bitchy comment right off the bat. That if she knew it was going to be him, she would’ve put a strung out cop behind the wheel. He would let them get away with it then. I want to punch her in the damn face. He’s worked so hard to get past all that and she’s drudging it up like it’s nothing. There is a history there we don't know about just yet as the viewer. All I do know is I do NOT like her.

After this Tim goes fully off and lists a million different ways to write him up. Lucy just stands there not sure if he’s serious or not. Poor Tim…Murphy pulling at the sutures of his emotional wound so he’s lashing out. Lucy has no idea what she said to him or why he's going off. Mario's reaction to the laundry list of offenses is too funny.

They later respond to a break in at a grow house. Guy who broke in is stuck in a bear trap. Tim was already on edge before but after his talk with Murphy he’s off the charts. Guy says he’ll split half the crop with them if they let him go. Lucy laughs and Tim says ‘Ok’ her reaction is hilarious LOL

He mentions Detective Murphy and reporting back to her. See if she would like that deal. The guy is confused af as is Lucy. It’s shortly after that she realizes Tim thinks this is another reversal. Murphy got in his head so quickly makes me sad. Has Tim all turned around and he's convinced this is a second reversal. He tries to remove the bear trap from the guys legs thinking its a fake. Tim quickly realizes it’s real...and the guy passes out.

They get back to the station and Lucy says he’s lucky that guy gonna keep his leg. It's clear he isn't in the moods for jokes. Tim is agitated and replies it’s the reversals not him. That Murphy has gotten in his head. (To say the least love) Otherwise he would've realized that guys injury was real. Lucy can sense there is more going on here than he’s saying. No one has ever been able to read Tim Bradford the way she does. She knows its more than just the reversals that is under his skin.

Lucy asks what went down between him and Detective Murphy? She's trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Wondering what is at the root of his anger today. She asks if he was investigated by her or something. He tries to be vague and say ‘Indirectly...’ It’s then Lucy puts two and two together and realizes it’s about Isabel. She voices this thought. Tim freezes and takes a deep breath before he explains the connection she suspects.

Lucy is confused why this detective is giving him a hard time still. She doesn't understand why she's coming at him so hard. Lucy mentions he’s not Isabel so what’s her beef with him? She's coming off a little protective of him in the process. (which I love) Its her natural instinct to try and work this out with him.

Their relationship is in a weird limbo at this point. Where they aren’t friends yet, but it’s clear what they have is more than the standard T.O./Rookie relationship. They’re still establishing what’s going on between them. So things are bound to still be a little rocky especially when his personal life is involved. Regardless of this fact her concern for him and his well being is evident and she voices as such.

Sadly Tim isn’t in the headspace to receive it and snaps at her. His reply is reminiscent of his early days with her. Her reaching out only to get her head bit off. Only this time she walks away dejected, retreating to lick her emotional wounds. No retort for her. It feels like he's regressing in this moment. Tim has grown a lot but also still has a long way to go. This is showing that Isabel is still such a sore spot for him. Not only that but Murphy has gone after something dear to him. His integrity and character.

The way she popped off about Isabel was her shot at that. Tim isn’t ready to open up to Lucy right now. This a wound that has only just begun to scab over. He’s currently in his head raging and fighting demons he thought he had put to rest. Makes me more agitated with Murphy tbh. The fact that she's brought this angry insecurity out in him.

I do love Tim being the first to stand up for Nolan when he shows up after being Green-lit. Him coming back to work was a big decision. Everyone follows suit after Tim. Something sexy about him doing that to me. Probably one of the very rare times he actually admires Nolan as a cop LOL

Tim see’s the detective as they’re gearing up to go out and engages her. Asking why she’s here. The way Murphy misjudges Tim makes my blood boil. Her POV of him is so skewed. She is trying to get him to crack under pressure. She is goading him in order to get him to snap like Isabel did. Having this vendetta against him because of what happened before. It's so wrong. Like she’s never had someone she loved enough to be blind when they’ve messed up. The hurt in his eyes makes me wanna cry. You can see the shift in them from anger to shame in that first gif. Damnit Eric you’re killing me. Goes on to say she’s gonna file a conduct unbecoming complaint against him. Tim instantly gets defensive. Tells her what a Busch League move that is.

Lucy spots the way she is riling him up. Baiting him. Steps in and distracts him away from her. Such a good wifey. What I love about this scene other than the obvious protective Lucy we get to see. Its the fact she is using the same mechanisms on him that he does for her when she’s highly emotional. Tim knows she doesn’t actually need his help. That Lucy is using it as diversion but he listens. She gets him to disengage and walk away. Which is HUGE. She knows him so well and is protecting him from further battle with this woman.

The look on Lucy’s face when she basically tells a superior officer to F-off is glorious. She does this in the most Lucy way ever. Meaning business but respectful by tacking ‘ma’am ‘ on at the end haha F U with a cushion. Lucy isn’t going to let this woman throw Tim off balance anymore than she already has. She takes a stand and makes her back the hell off him. I love seeing protective Lucy. She’s watched Murphy rattle his cage all damn episode. This anger she is invoking in Tim is making him go crazy and regress.

I know his short fuse earlier with Lucy was due to this. He hasn't snapped at her like that in awhile. The detective has no idea the emotional wounds she’s re-opening. The way she’s split his focus since their first convo earlier. Or maybe she does.. Either way Lucy isn’t going to stand for it any longer. That's what this scene represents. Her shoving back best she can to give him breathing room. She has his back 100 % and will protect Tim from her. So proud of her. Standing up for him when he was too muddled to do it for himself.

We get to part of the episode I dread the most..but I have to say watching the balls on Anderson during this scene is amazing. Her and Nolan get captured by Cole and she shows no fear only confidence. Telling him what an idiot he was for capturing a police captain. She was such a BAMF till the very end. Took out his entire crew single handed. This was after she un-cuffed herself by breaking her thumb underwater.

God this scene is hard to watch every single time I have to do it. The only reason she died was an errant bullet from Cole. It’s as unfair as its gets and a very tragic end to her character. The look on her face as she falls back into the water. Ugh hurts to watch happen. If nothing else she went down like the bad ass we all know she was though. Nolan holding her as they all arrive kills me. The utter shock on all their faces when they see their captain lying there. Beyond heartbreaking.

If this scene right here doesn’t make you tear up I think you might be dead inside lol The reactions from everyone as they wheel her out. Especially Lucy and Angela. My heart. The way they’re all trying to keep it together and saluting her. That single tear Angela lets escape after she's loaded into the ambulance. Ugh hurts my heart. Such a gut punch from the writers. I remember being so shook when this first aired. Nolan telling her how sorry he is. It's all kinds of sad.

Grey comes in like a raging bull after Midas, he easily gives up his son when he finds out he’s killed their captain. Tells them where he's going to be. They all wait at a check point for him to arrive. Tim and Lucy are standing together readying themselves. Tim is trying to console her. He knows she and the Capt. were close. Had a bond.

Tim Tells her whether this guy lives or dies it won’t make things better. Lucy says she knows and he answers her you only think you do. She tells him she can’t handle him telling her that grief will make her better cop right now. His reply is perfection. ‘I'm not. Grief is grief. It’s a hole that can’t be filled. But over time, it’ll shrink enough so that you won’t fall in every time you take a step.’

You can see he reverts back to the Tim he was before his run ins with Murphy. He continues on tells her if she’s going to use anything to be a better cop it’ll be her life not her death. You can see its resonates with Lucy. The look on her face shows its hitting home. It's a damn shame this moment doesn't have a gif set. it’s a wonderful one between them.

Tim sees Detective Murphy after they arrest Cole and goes after her despite Lucy’s protests. He’s ready to throw down again when she says Grey wanted her to witness this. For IA to see how well they were going to handle it. She says she’s sorry about their Captain. That she really liked her. Also lets him know she wasn’t going forward with his conduct unbecoming complaint against him.

That he was right. It was Busch League. She turns to leave and Tim stops her. He then does something I don’t think Murphy expects. He tells her she was right too. Says Anderson would want him to say this. Which I adore so much. He's honoring her by doing this. Her impact was so profound on all of them.

I’m so damn proud of him in this scene. Look at my man continue to grow. He’s completely honest with her. Admits his part in her being an addict and not reporting it towards the end. He is so god damn sincere in the way he explains it. Gets me. Says at the end of the day she was his wife and all he wanted was to help her.

Murphy sees this and finally relents. Asking Tim how she’s doing now. He tells her she’s better. She’s clean. Murphy is also sincere and tells him she’s glad and walks away. Their conflict finally at rest. His strides forward as a character are still there. Just took a little backseat with his issues/demons being re-opened against his will. He’s not a perfect man and that's ok. Makes him so real He's a beautiful WIP. ❤️

~~~~

Non Chenford Notes-

The whole SL with Anderson kills me. She had a short stint on this show but such an impactful one. I always mourn her when she goes.

Sorry for the lack of gifs there wasn’t a ton to choose from. But it’s a damn good ep none the less. Emotional af for lot of reasons. Gets me every time I rewatch it.

Thank you all for your continued support through likes, reblogs and comments. They mean more to me than you know. Shall see you all in 1x17 :)

[missmitchieg]

i don’t go here but what happened to penelope garcia’s hair ? isn’t it like shoulder length ? did she cut it ? !

/lh , tell me about penelope garcia please ?

Yay! I love talking about babygirl! Ok, so it looks like she did indeed cut her luscious locks so rip to her long princess curls. They will be missed until they grow back. 💖

Ok, so season 1-15 Penelope was MY GIRL, ok? She was MY GIRL.

She's, like, a super genius super cutie and she's super sweet and kind and loves animals. (Seriously, one of the reasons she started working for the FBI is she was a computer hacker and hacked into the website of a cosmetic company that tests on animals and her options when she got caught were literally work for the FBI or her ass is getting thrown in prison. She chose the FBI. We love a queen that fights for animal wellfare. The other reason was she wanted to get away from her garbage, and I do mean GARBAGE, boyfriend and have a better life.)

I'm pretty sure she has ADHD. Maybe autism. IDK, but she's definitely some kinda neurospicy.

She's a walking sparkly neon rainbow. You know the way Flynn's bedroom is described in the one jatp book? Season 1-15 Penelope is that and I love it.

She went ginger once and it was a whole vibe.

Wow, I love her.

She was super nice to her ex boss all the way from s1 to his departure in early s12, and I'm 99% sure was the only one that actually called him bossman or sir bc everyone else just called him Aaron or by his nickname, Hotch. She was really good at making him smile, which actually wasn't that hard but people exaggerate the rarity of a Hotch smile for some reason.

After that, she was still really nice to the replacement he handpicked, Emily Prentiss, who she already adored after working with her since s2.

Hotch was literally physically incapable of saying no to this woman and she fully knew and took advantage of that shit, ok? Seriously, one time, Penelope made a joke like "who could say no to me?" and Hotch just smirked a little bit because he knew he couldn't say anything. Penelope does an incredible imitation of the pleading emoji. Or the Puss In Boots face. Whatever you wanna call this:

"Boss, I want you to hire Tara. 🥺" "Ok. Tell everyone else the position has been filled." "Boss, I don't wanna eat dinner alone. Do you want a veggie omelette? 🥺" "Ok. Do you have jalapeños?"

The hilarious thing is she doesn't even have to make that face. She does it to mess with him.

And then there's her, uh...... interesting little flirtationship with Derek Morgan. Or as Penelope calls him, chocolate thunder. He loves that name and encourages it. He calls her babygirl. They also have about a million other adorable pet names for each other.

*gestures at these gifs* They love each other so much, it's kind of gross. I've said before that before I actually started watching and only had the massive comp of him calling her that, I genuinely really thought Morcia was canon. Like, oh, my GOD, dude. These two are disgustingly obsessed with each other. The shit they say on work calls. He calls her sexy and brilliant Goddess and told her it drives him crazy when "she talks that voulez coucher stuff to him". Like, hello? Honestly, I'm amazed Derek only had to sit through one HR lecture about creating a hostile work environment. Or at least, we only saw one.

Then there's her very sweet friendship with baby genius, boy wonder, good doctor, Agent Doctor Spencer Reid.

MY BABIES. I LOVE THEM. I want them back. Gimme back my Penny², damnit.

And her very sweet friendship with Matt Simmons! Oh, my god. I love them. 🥰🥰🥰

They're cute and I wish at least Penelope mentioned Matt in season 16 more.

Penelope and Luke! Oh, my God. Penelope and Luke.

They are in love and both think it's unrequited and it's exhausting but at least s12-15 were FUN. Mostly.

Season 16 Penelope, though....

Season 16 Penelope got abducted by aliens. Or lobotomized. Hard to tell.

[thesandsofelsweyr]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

TY for tagging me @zeroducks-2 😘 Passing to torch along to @blahwesome, @baesonjason, @niphredil-14, @scaryscarecrows, @mrsd-writes, @igotanidea, @artzysyam, @thejasonandsladeagenda (no pressure ofc!)

How many works do you have on AO3? 11 on SandsOfElsweyr, 2 on my other top secret account 👀

What’s your total A03 word count? 47,475

What fandoms do you write for? I've written fic for Dragon Age and Skyrim, but my only published fics are in the Jason Peter Todd fandom 😉

What are your top five fics by kudos? (Only including my SandsOfElsweyr fics)

✧ The Sus Boy Next Door (ao3) 229 Kudos ✧

After coming back from a terrible blind date your asshole neighbor is the last person you want to see right now. He doesn’t have his signature scowl for you tonight, however. Tonight he seems terrified.

✧ Hollowed Out (ao3) 194 Kudos ✧

When Jason saw that photo of Batman and his new Robin, the thin cord of hope holding him together had snapped and he had broken into a million pieces. No one was coming for him. Not one single person on the planet cared whether he lived or died, or how much he suffered, or how loud he screamed. No one except the Clown. He was Joker’s now, and he would say or do anything to get a reprieve from the torment and the pain, even if it meant letting himself be reduced to something less than human.

✧ Remember Jason Todd? (ao3) 114 Kudos ✧

Joker reminisces to Batman about one of the happiest years of his life: the year he spent breaking Jason Todd.

✧ The Wrong Cell (ao3) 96 Kudos ✧

When Harley comes to fetch Batman’s annoying little sidekick from his cell in Arkham Asylum she finds someone unexpected in his place.

✧ His (ao3) 82 Kudos ✧

Jason has been beaten half to death with a crowbar, shredded by barbed wire, strung up for so long his shoulders ripped from their sockets, shocked, starved, branded… It's only a wooden paddle, it can’t hurt more than any of the Clown’s other toys… right?

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I get behind sometimes but I try to reply to every comment I get. If you take the time to leave me a comment, I'll take the time to give you a reply! Fun fact: I love replying with reaction gifs, hehehe

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? lol. Almost every fic I write has an angsty ending 😂 I suppose Hollowed Out (ao3) is the angstiest so far.

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Touch (ao3) or Cocoon (ao3)

Do you get hate on your fic? I'm sure I do but I've thankfully never seen it!

Do you write smut? Yes. Badly 😂 But I'm learning! Practice makes perfect~

Do you write crossovers? Personally not a fan of crossovers 🙃

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic? Nope

What‘s your all-time favourite ship? Probably SanSan (ASoIaF). Then there's Shakarian (Mass Effect), Surana x Alistair (Dragon Age), and AK Jay x my OC 💕 Also can't forget AK JokerJay and Thramsay (ASoIaF), muwahaha 😈

What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I don't want to answer this and jinx myself!

What’s your writing strengths? Putting men through the ringer.

What’s your writing weaknesses? Overcoming my perfectionism 😪

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I have to phone a friend!

First fandom you wrote for? Probably Mario? I've been writing for a looooooooong ass time, heh.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written? Hollowed Out (ao3) ❤️❤️❤️

[five-star-stay]

Hi!! As a hanji stan I fully agree with you and I bring you at least one more thing to fairly complain about!! Screen time. It happens very very often that when they are performing and it’s HIS PART, the cameras just. Don’t film him. They zoom out, they show the audience, sometimes they even focus on a different member (hyunjin or felix usually). I used to gif him a lot and this got me so angry so many times!!! What else does he have to do to get a tiny bit of attention??? He has shown multiple times (all the time tbh) just how insanely talented and charismatic he is! There’s literally not one single thing he can’t do. All rounder is not just a silly cutesy nickname thing here. He’s the real deal… literally one of my reasons for biasing him is just how amazing his overall performance as an idol is. He can sing, he can rap, he can dance, he sounds even better live, he has stage presence, he’s funny, he’s sweet, he’s cute, he’s good looking, and so much more that I’m forgetting right now…

As far as I know the only thing he deliberately actually stood away from was getting his solo Instagram account when the rest of the members got theirs…

It’s been very frustrating to watch as the other members get amazing solo opportunities and he gets literally nothing…

Hi anon, I completely agree with what you said and yes I completely sympathise with your frustrations. Even in music videos, he's never been made a thumbnail and that makes me so sad like not even on HIS songs. He's not getting the chance to be the face of it. And a lot of times in mvs too like social path, his screen time is literally just what they showed in the teaser even though he has the most beautiful bridge in it the focus isn't on him in mv during that part at all.

I understand that felix and hyunjin are pushed more as the faces of the group and the most popular members, and I have no ill will towards them. But why does pushing them come at the cost of han never even getting the bare minimum?

They also plastered an ot7 Tommy Hilfiger campaign all across their stores and it felt maddening that people were calling han stans rude or childish for asking why han didn't get accommodated and wasn't given a separate solo shoot on a later date so he could've been part of the campaign in at least solo shots. And the way they could've done a billion things to include him but all they did was qrt a skz post and said "❤️❤️ HAN" and getting thanked for it by "stays" while they hid replies about being called out for zionism and not tagging han on insta and tiktok as if he isn't part of the group is SEARED in my brain. And they couldn't even spell skz right... i hate that brand's social media team but also you need two hands to clap, div1 is just as at fault.

Another instance was not promoting lee know and han's instagram on their group instagram stories, they had 29 million followers then and 30 million now. When other 6 made their ig it was big news and shared on the stories so everyone knew. But minsung made it on skz anniversary day which was a day filled with a lot of posts spammed on the group account, making it so nobody knew about the group account tagging them in the caption because it was after the "read more" and most people don't click that button especially on days with so many posts to catch up on. Results: the other 6 hit 3 million in 24 hours and minsung took a couple months and han has just now reached 4 million. It's frustrating because at every step, the company has let Han down and it's always coupled with excuses from so called stays that just don't care about Han individually. I'm honestly so concerned about how jype will handle their solo careers if they don't even realise or care enough to make sure minsung don't get left behind in terms of followers on private instagram (which will affect their engagement and brand deals) just because they took their time and waited for when they felt ready. They're literally being punished for doing what's right for them.

I hate it all!!!

I wish han can negotiate a better deal for himself in a new contract and if he decides to stay on for the group but join some other agency for solo promotion, I would not blame him because jype just tries to bury his individuality and doesn't let him create a brand for himself. Literally the only thing he has is his hanpop and even then it's months of him sometimes asking on live for stays to tell skziji that they want certain songs released. Please God, give Han a management that appreciates him.

Proof:

[all-thestories-aretrue]

I am about 1 million years late to this but thank you for the tag @graphitekayla!!!

Rules: without naming them, post 10 gifs of your favorite shows, then tag 10 people. I'm definitely going to break this rule; you can't give me the opportunity to gush about my faves and not expect me to name them all!!

If anyone has followed me for any length of time none of this will be a shock lmao.

Shadowhunters, and more broadly speaking The Mortal Instruments. My first real fandom!!! I cannot overstate the impact the books and show had on my life. I wouldn't be who I am without it. I have an angelic rune tattoo. Magnus and Alec are some of the first queer characters I remember reading about. I remember where I was when they kissed for the first time in the show. You stupid nephilim lives rent free in my brain. This show (and the books) truly set up the trajectory my life is on now, and I will always always remember it fondly. Even with all the drama and discourse.

2. Critical Role, specifically C2. My first true obsession after the decade long Shadowhunters debacle. I stumbled into it to learn how to play D&D (which I now know is a controversy in and of itself lmao). But my friend @midnightellis wanted us to start a game, and I needed a way to learn that wasn't reading the books, so I started C2. It took 11 or 12 episodes, but then I fell in love. I spent the next almost year watching the entirety of C2 which culminated in visiting them to watch the finale together. I was extremely jetlagged. It was basically 8 amazing hours of nonstop crying. I have zero regrets. Except for the fact I still need to get the tattoo I had planned rip. One day!! I promise!!

3. Arcane!!!! A brief interlude between Shadowhunters and CR. There was about 4 months were I was OBSESSED and watched the entire show like 3 times back to back. I have many thoughts and feelings about Jayce. The show is also just so visually stunning. I cannot wait for S2 to drop in November!!!!!! I know nothing about League but I do really love this show.

4. House. Iconic. What else needs to be said? House is very much a comfort show for me; great to rewatch during the winter. I've watched the entire thing almost three times now, and even got my mom hooked lol. It was fun seeing all her reactions to everything before I moved.

5. If I had known what fandom was when this was airing, I truly would have been all over that shit. But I was 8 and didn't have access to the internet. Aang/Katara def my first otp lol. I did, however, ignore a friend that was over at my house to watch the finale, I believe. I definitely told them to go play so I could watch the show uninterrupted. Needless to say, they were not thrilled with that. I'm 90% sure it was the finale now, but I could be wrong about the episode. ATLA is also another comfort show that I could watch over and over again.

6. Shadow and Bone. I am still SICKENED this got canceled. Genya and David are the ultimate romance, and no one will convince me otherwise. I almost stopped reading when I found out his fate. I was devastated. Everyone in this show is also very pretty. I can't believe we won't get a s3.

I'm going to stop here because this is already long enough, and tbh I'm not sure I actually have four more shows. I can only be obsessed with one thing at a time, and the current obsession is Path of Night. And that does not seem to be waning any time soon.

Edit: Lost should 100% be on this list. I think I've watched it at least four times. My family and I watched it live as it was airing when I was a kid. And it still is one of my favorite shows. I know people got beef with the ending but I truly didn't mind it. Even if it's bad or whatever, I think Lost is still 100% worth watching. There are so many little hints and clues that I pick up something different every time, and each character death hits just as hard.

I'm going to tag: @gelatinouscute, @peppedstep, @midnightellis, @discordkittenterumi, @im-a-vampire-now, @zeena-athena , @syntia13treeman , @sapphicfugue , @dr-thumbs-brand-new-spot

If you want to do this :)

[rosedevents]

Updates weekend!

I'm not sure when this happened, but at some point recently, I crossed over 1 MILLION hits on my stories!! What a milestone! Though, to be transparent ... 468,000+ of those are for my most read story, Breed.*

Also, despite not posting for months, my number of user subscriptions on Ao3 keeps rising. Maybe they're mostly bots, but I hope not :) I really appreciate that people want to read what I write!

NaNoWriMo always takes a lot out of me and this year was no exception, especially since I had to go hard in the final days to get 50K words. But this year was also unique because I wrote my first original story! Wait, not wrote – that would imply I actually finished it. No, it is a Work In Progress like a lot of other things, and speaking of ...

I've been pushing myself to update my incomplete stories and dubbed this "updates week" for myself. This weekend I am planning to update three stories:

The Curse of 100 - finally finished the next chapter after having it half done for a few months ...

The Idol & The Football Star - I've decided to end with a third chapter because I am not as inspired on this as I want to be. It still feels weird writing about real people, especially with new information constantly coming out about them that changes the story. I have an idea to do a paranormal AU with a witch Taylor and werewolf Travis but not sure when I'll have time to write it ...

and, the most triumphant update:

New Year's Eve Wedding Week - which hasn't been updated in TWO years! Because I only want to write it at this time of year, ya know? Well, and also I dove headfirst into writing Dramione over Biospecialist ... but I always intended to finish this and it will be - hopefully very soon!

Good things are coming in 2024!

*Someone told me that I will lose my linked GIFs because Discord is not going to host images anymore. I've been waiting for this to happen before I figure out my next move. If anyone has any ideas of where to host sexy GIFs, let me know!

[catdadeddie]

The lack of buddie has never been as bad as it is this season. At least in s5A they had the first 3 episodes and then a centric episode in 7. Buddie haven’t had a meaningful conversation since the premiere this season. They’re very purposely keeping them apart. Whether that’s Kristen trying to halt the shipping of them or it’s a narrative reason idk but it’s immensely frustrating as a buddie fan how they haven’t had a meaningful conversation since the premiere.

And I've said repeatedly that people can feel that way and be upset.

I have also said that unsolicited complaining in people's inboxes of it isn't fair to fans that are having a good time.

I'm a buddie shipper. I'm not frustrated or upset with how things are going. I'm quite happy with the season. Idk if you sending me this was prompted by my posts on Tuesday or if you just decided to come complain, but if it's the latter, I've been pretty open about having a good time or at least pretty positive about the season. So...

-

To be honest, I think it's very possible that they're narratively keeping them apart. I also think it could be that they're just changing stuff up and giving us some new dynamics because the fans responded well to it last season.

Someone sent me an ask that I didn't post and said they like the new dynamics but it shouldn't come at the cost of buddie. That Hen and Chim aren't seeing this distance.

And I disagree. It's an ensemble show with 7 main cast members and about 45 minutes a week to work with. With the choices being made, all of the usual dynamics aren't getting the screentime they normally would.

Hen and Buck are a central dynamic right now and we're definitely seeing that change things. We've seen Hen and Chim working together, the same that we've seen Buck and Eddie, but outside of Henren Begins when's the last time we had a major Hen and Chim scene?

-

Buck and Eddie are still interacting. They haven't been completely ripped apart. If I wanted to make a buddie in 6a gif set, every episode besides 6x03 would have something. They just haven't had any major moments. There's plenty of little moments and if we wanna talk narratively, it makes sense how this is all going.

Buck intentionally keeping distance from himself and the 118 (minus Hen) so that's contributed to this. He's doing something that he subconsciously knows he shouldn't and so we're seeing these team scene with him feeling removed. And we have seen Eddie trying to push a little and understand it every time.

-

Additionally, we've had 2/7 episodes being focused only on one relationship. We didn't see much of any dynamic that wasn't tied to Hen in 6x06.

-

All this to say, if you're that frustrated, take a break from the show. It's on Hulu so you don't have to wait a million years for it to come on Netflix. Or plenty of people download it for gifs, I'm sure you can find it somewhere.

Marie Kondo it. If it's not sparking joy, let it go. You can absolutely come back when you know how this is resolved and that it's resolved. It's just not making you happy right now and that's okay. It's how you approach being upset that might not be okay. Again I don't know what prompted you sending me this ask, but I will say that if it was just because you wanted to complain, then consider thinking about who you're complaining to and why you're upset.

(And unless I'm remembering wrong. We barely saw them outside of calls at work in 2b. There's when Maddie was taken, 2x14 and 2x18 that have some heavier scenes but that's all I can think of.)

[sinsiriuslyemo]

It's been a long, long time ya'll.

I know you've heard (or rather seen) this more than a million times before, but for the last several months I've been doing some real thinking about what I want my online presence to look like. For years, it seems that I've been operating in a sort of chaos, allowing myself to easily become overwhelmed with not just the number of platforms on which I had a presence (yes, had. we'll get there, I promise) but also taking on new ventures and getting burnt out rather quickly.

As I reflected on my online activity, I realized that there was one place where I felt most at home, and happy. Here. With you, my fandom buddies. And so, this is a post to announce that I'm coming home. I'll still have my twitter account, but won't be posting there too often, really just when I have a quick thought that I want to get off my chest or find a fun thread/conversation to join. I'll be posting here again much more often, and I'll also have an Ao3.

Yes. For years I resisted creating an Ao3 account because, frankly, I was intimidated by it. The interface was confusing to me, and I was easily overwhelmed with the sheer volume of fics to choose from.

I also wasn't the greatest fan of the fact that there is no social media aspect to it, like there is here. But in the last few months, I've learned how to work the search feature on there and have read such amazing fics that has reignited my hunger for fandom interaction. I miss being nerdy with ya'll! I miss fangirling over gifs with you and gushing about a new edit that someone posted, or a fic that makes me giddy with feels of every color. Most of all I miss immersing myself in my favorite characters and creating stories and head canons.

So yes, I'm back!

Just a few things though, and I hope you'll hear me out.

Currently, I have been completely out of the loop with respect to SVU. I still love the show and will likely catch up on what I've missed eventually, but it's simply not where my interests lie at the moment. Lately, I've been steeping myself in the Harry Potter fandom (though I want to make it perfectly clear that I only support HP fan works and fanmade products. Fuck JK Rowling) and have been working on some fics for that fandom.

If this isn't your bag, I get it! But I just want to be up front that that is likely the content you will see for the foreseeable future, moving forward. That said, I may still post in other fandoms once in a while, including the SVU fandom, but for the most part, you can expect HP works for now.

That brings me to my asks. I still have around 20, and I've decided NOT to delete them. I will get to them eventually, but I don't know when that will be (likely whenever the mood strikes). Also, I have The Lawyer and the Pianist that is as of now unfinished. I will be finishing that story, but again, the updates will be sporadic. And of course, there's also the RAUL series. I will be updating the ongoing story I have there, but again, sporadic updates and likely won't be expanding that concept much more for the time, unless of course the inspiration bites me in the ass. It very well may, but for now I'm only going to be finishing the story I've already started, nothing more. I know that may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and that's the least I owe you guys.

There are also other fandoms that I'm interested in that I may start to write fics for at some point. Those include Hawaii 5-0 (yes, I'm aware it's been off air for a few years, but whatevs lol) and The Orville (I'm actually not sure whether there's a fandom presence for this show in here). Scott Caan has also started a new show called Alert, which is another procedural drama that I may begin to watch at some point and maybe will get inspired to write for. I don't know yet.

I'll also likely post some personal things or just stuff I'm interested in or want to talk about that may or may not have to do with fandom. It may have to do with writing, or just some feelings I have that I want to write about, or even personal updates, including when I have new original stories coming out. I also want to start posting book reviews of the stuff I'm personally reading A) because I love talking about books anyway and B) because I'm about 75% certain I'm going to be deleting my Youtube channel, where I normally would've posted it, and 100% certain that I won't be posting anymore videos. It's just too much, I get overwhelmed, and I let my followers there down just as I've let ya'll down before. I'm trying to change that.

That said, I do have indie authors who sometimes ask me to do reviews of their books (I have one that I'm going to be reading after I finish The Bone Witch) and I still want to be able to do that for them and offer a platform for me to promote their works. These are amazing writers who do not have the benefit of a publishing house resources in order to market their books, and I want to use my platform to share their wonderful stories with ya'll. I hope that's okay. I'll review mainstream books as well, but I want the majority of my reviews to be my fellow indies.

But for now, ya'll, as far as any fanfic I post (and I'm working on several atm) it's gonna be Harry Potter central up this bitch. Likely Sirius Black central because A) he's my absolute favorite character (do not @ me) and B) Gary Oldman can get it.

I also have coming up (as in literally done and waiting in my queue to be posted) reviews for And Straight On Till Morning, The Bone Witch, and Splinter (indie), a do's and don'ts post for writing summaries, and chapter one of a fic I've been working on for the last few weeks. As for my posting schedule, I'm gonna start with once a week for now and see how that goes. I'll be here every day though, reading other writer's works, commenting, reblogging, etc.

Along with posting here, I will continue to work on my original stories, which you can find on Amazon. And if you want to support me, you can also buy me a Ko-Fi. I used to hesitate hardcore to post those last three things on here. Because this was what I mainly used for fandom, I thought it would be presumptuous and also kind of a dick move to ask for support, but I've been working on recognizing my own worth, and realized that just because I ask, doesn't mean anyone has to do it. Therefore, there's no harm in asking, and for those of you that want to support me financially, you should be able to do so. But just know that I don't expect anything. I'm here because I love it here, and I will still be writing fanfic for free.

I know tumblr isn't the same as when I was last here (like, really here, not just saying I was here) but that's okay. I just want to be here, and post my fics and that's enough for me.

One last thing, from now on I will be signing off with my pen name (Hero West) instead of my actual first name. The main reason for this is because I've decided that for my mental health and for my safety as well, I need to keep my private life off the internet as much as possible. So, I want to stop using my real first name. I'm perfectly aware that I've used it to sign off in the past, and I'm going to try my hardest to edit all of those posts, but as you can imagine, that will take a very long time.

Still, I hope you'll understand and refer to me using "Hero" instead of my real first name.

With peace and love,

Sinceriously,

Hero

PS - Needless to say I'm going to be watch A Murder at the End of the World just for funsies because it looks interesting and also, Raul Esparza 🥰

[theclearwaters]

I posted 1,300 times in 2022

43 posts created (3%)

1,257 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@twilitty

@musingsofvenus

@renegadepack

@tattoocowboi

@howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen

I tagged 367 of my posts in 2022

#q - 184 posts

#leah clearwater - 59 posts

#jacob black - 47 posts

#bella swan - 39 posts

#anon - 32 posts

#julia jones - 23 posts

#kristen stewart - 22 posts

#seth clearwater - 21 posts

#inbox - 19 posts

#new moon - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#a perfect description of me remembering how author steamrolled over that perfect groundwork she laid for jacob and leah

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

If you're team wolfpack, do you also dislike the vamps?

We are anti-Cullen in this house (might make an exception for Rosalie tho)

8 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

who on leah’s green earth is taking requests and where can I put monopoly money down to see more blackwater content. moodboards gifs fics a reason to live, i would like it all

9 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#3

I’m working on answering the ask you just sent me lol and I might just dump everyone in your inbox as well. To start, Jared? 👀👀 (@gezellig-writes)

YES I WILL STOP EDITING TO ANSWER (thank you, srs)

do I like them:

I didn’t really have an opinion on him throughout the series, then I read the Illustrated Guide and decided I liked him - if only for how he handled the Sam/Emily clusterfuck and REVIVED her after she was hurt. My dude is the same age as Jacob, probably 15y/o at the time, and he handled it like a bloody champ.

5 good qualities:

someone has to be Sam Uley’s best mate I guess lol

he entertains Embry's side bets

seemed a pretty decent Second to Sam before Jacob took over

best vision in the Pack

makes little Kim happy, probably

3 bad qualities:

Everything about that scene in Breaking Dawn when he tried to play peacemaker and said to Jacob that he’d “torn” their family apart after he defected gtfo

Pulled the guilt thing on Seth: “Sue asked me to tell you—no, to beg you—to come home. She’s brokenhearted, Seth. All alone. I don’t know how you and Leah can do this to her. Abandon her this way, when your dad just barely died—”

THEN HE SAID TO MY GIRL, “Sam told me to beg. He told me to literally get down on my knees if I have to. He wants you home, Lee-lee, where you belong.”

NAH

favourite episode/etc:

Favourite scene I can recall is in New Moon at Emily's house. I like to think he wasn't entirely joking when he suggested that Bella could be bait.

otp:

gotta be our Kim surely

brotp:

Jared, probably: If Sam has a million fans, then I am one of them. If Sam has ten fans, then I am one of them. If Sam has only one fan then that is me. If Sam has no fans, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against Sam, then I am against the world.

ot3:

imprint-addled Jared doesn't share (but there is a fic out there with Jared watching Kim/Seth and even after all these years I'm still not sure how I feel about it, I think it's by audreyii-fic?)

notp:

I've seen a few popular fics with Jared/Bella/Paul but just doesn't float my boat

best quote:

Of course I had to flip through New Moon for this:

"She's just a girl," Embry protested. "I didn't say it made sense. But that's why the bloodsucker's been trying to get past us. She's been heading for Forks." They continued to stare at me, mouths still hanging open, for a long moment. I ducked my head. "Excellent," Jared finally said, a smile beginning to pull up the corners of his mouth. "We've got bait."

head canon:

Saving Emily made them pretty tight. He'll go down swinging for his pack mama any day of the week.

11 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

#2

See the full post

24 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hate to break it to u but third cousins is still cousins… it’s incest

Bestie I hate to break it to you but I just spent the afternoon literally inhaling all the Helaena/Aemond content I could find so you might want to block me and move on. You’ll be happier for it

30 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

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