#idc if he’s dead i don’t act like he is anyway

[fandomcrazyshit]

Nico begging and pleading and sobbing to Jason’s ghost telling him to let himself be brought back.

And Jason keeps telling him he can’t. Not that he doesn’t want to. That he can’t.

Nico keeps begging and Will is trying to pull him away and Jason sees he has tears slipping down his cheeks.

Eventually the son of Jupiter snaps. He tells him he planned on dying. He was going to anyway.

“No you could’ve avoided it! You could’ve ran away from it!”

“You can’t cheat fate, you know that!”

“Fate could’ve waited for another war!”

Nico’s breathing hard and the underworld goes incredibly still as the argue.

“Nico-“

“No! It didn’t have to be this way! Let me fix it!”

“I wanted it to be this way! I didn’t want to be alive!”

Wills eyes are filled with fear and he’s not looking at Jason as person, he really sees him as a ghost. The air goes cold and Nicos eyes dart across Jason for a long minute.

“I was alone. Again. I had nowhere to go. I don’t fit in the mortal world, I was failing school and I—I’ve lost everyone Nico.”

“You had me! You still have me!”

“Nico.” Jason’s voice is rough. “You have a boyfriend—a great person. You have people. A family.”

Nicos chest sinks. He’s always felt for Jason when it came to family.

“But Thalia—she was devastated…”

“She’ll get over it, not much to get over anyway.” There’s a bitter tone in his voice now.

“She has a better relationship with Percy and Annabeth and you.”

“I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

There’s a brief moment where the two share a moment of silence. Jason smiles, just barely but Nico can’t with his lip wobbling so urgently.

“I can’t be the burden that drags down you’re happiness, all because I don’t fit in.”

“You do fit in.”

“Nico. I was abandoned for my whole life, just because I turned 16 doesn’t mean it changed. I’ve always been attached to fate.”

“We’re demigods, we all are.”

“It’s not the same. Nico I wasn’t happy all the time. I was happy with you because you were my only friend. That doesn’t mean I was the only reason you were happy.”

Nico let’s out a sob and the force of his feelings shake the ground and there’s the smoke of ghosts passing.

“I miss you. I want you back.”

“No you don’t. I wasn’t a person Nico. I was just a head full of thoughts and ideas for temples shoved into a body. I wasn’t me. I never have been.”

“Then come back and find you.”

“I don’t think there will be anything good to find.”

Nico let’s out a guttural scream that shakes the underworld’s walls to the point they crumble.

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

Decided to redraw my first oc (ON AGGIE BECAUSE ALL I FUCKING DO IS DRAW ONAGGIE APPARENTLY)

It’s name is Suit-009 😁🥳

If you are curious I will quickly explain its lore and uh that’s it yah. (I don’t rlly post my ocs like ever but I dunno hour long drive got me being thoughtful as usual)

Before everything I MADE THIS WHEN I WAS 14 THIS PREDATES AMONG US AND LETHAL COMPANY DO NOT SAY THAT IM RIPPING IT FROM THOSE I DID IT FIRSSTTT

Humanity is on its last limb, the earth is practically an unlivable husk especially due to immense overpopulation

So basically, there is a group of 9 scientists tasked with finding a habitable place that human can colonize or a place that can be harvested for resources

The team lands on an alien planet and begin research. They are all scientists and all are capable of running and surviving on a spacecraft or in a hostile environment, so that’s not particularly a worry.

The ninth crew member, suit numbered 009, was recruited specifically for his scientific studies, yea they are all scientists but he’s like THE scientist. The guy that’s goes hmm yes nod nod URETHRA! All that.

Anyway they find some crystal fragments and decide to do some extensive research on it due to energy signals coming from it. Having something that creates energy like said crystals would be extremely useful if they could replicate it in some form

009 goes and studies it yea yea whatever. Idc. But like it starts taking awhile and the crew leader 001 (she does have a name it’s Hailey but I dunno abt anyone else I WAS 14.) anyway she goes and is like hey buddy how pal pick up the pace you’re taking long as hell

And he’s like SIR YES SIR, but it’s been a while now and he’s kinda being freaky deaky. None of the other crew realy took notice of him kinda acting tweaked out since they were never really close beyond coworkers unfortunately

But UH OH! The crystals actually have some dumb shit that like attracts things/people to like investigate it (the energy thing) but what it actually does is kinda cause people constantly around it to be like overly obsessed with it and also kinda become stupid

So the thing with the crystals is that if it somehow gets into your blood stream it starts forming more crystals as like a way to grow. They aren’t particular just an inanimate object, it has a goal to grow and it can’t just grow from nothing sooo

Anyway 009 is like tweaked out because it’s actually just a suit with a corpse and crystals piloting it

Eventually Hailey realizes this but I mean it’s not gonna go out without a fight

So suit-009 grabs a fire axe and axes down the entire crew, once it’s finished it just folds over, using the surrounding and remaining biomass to consume and grow yaaaay

Oh just some thing I thought was neat, if you were to pop off the hazmat mask the head would be absent and replaced with a horrible mass of bloody crystals isn’t that exciting

That’s pretty much it yea. Hey by the way did you know I love Dead Space 2, Don’t Escape 3, The Thing, and Alien? Haha yea anyway I LOVE SPACE I LOVE SPACE I LOVE SPACE I LOVE SPACE I LOVE THE HORRORS OF SPACE I LOVE SPACE I LOVE SPACE SO MUCH SPAAAAAAAACEEEEEEE WOOOOO YEA SPACE!!!!!!!!!!!)!)

[pwacifistxo]

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆— “Oᕼ GOᗪ, ᑕᗩᑎ YOᑌ ᗰᗩKE ᗰY ᕼEᗩᖇT ᔕTOᑭ?” 𖦹. ⊹ ࣪ ˖ — “Hιƚ ɱҽ ɯιƚԋ ყσυɾ ƙιʅʅ ʂԋσƚ ႦαႦყ!” ✮ — Bonten!Sanzu Haruchiyo → Tokyo revengers f!reader. ❦.

༘⋆ Headcannons and imagines.

⋆ just some drabbles

tw: NSFW, a little dark, squirting, oral receiving and giving, faceriding mentioned, swearing, toxic relationship mentioned. Very out of pocket things.

✧ — SFW

The Sanzu Haruchiyo as your boyfriend huh? Shit then you in for a ride. He’s so unhinged it’s scary.

To start of, he’s definitely not the best boyfriend and honestly he could’ve never imagined getting with you in the first place. This man has priorities. Such as doing drugs and acting like a wild dog. He is toxic asf.

He needs to be put on a leash idc. Sometimes you’ve got to put ur man in his place when he acts up and gets all moody and mean. Watch your mouth though.

If you’re a shy person or introverted. You’re gonna struggle a lot in this relationship, he’s loud and rude and doesn’t have any shame for it.

He is not the same as how he was in Toman where he was calm and quiet, he will humiliate you, tease you every chance he gets.

You do some embarrassing shit? Expect him to bring it up another 3 weeks later after you begged him not to mention it. Then he’ll probably say something like “awh dont cry love, y’know I’ll make up for it.”

He doesn’t lie when he says that, he will make up for it just in his own sanzu way. (fucking is the solution.)

he can be draining at times, he will randomly abandon you completely and then come back on an average day. (Usually when your in a better mood)

Don’t break his trust ever, like ever. It already took him ages to warm up to you so he’s gambling on that.

Or you’ll just end up dead and he will too. (actually it depends)

However Sanzu is very loyal, like so loyal he would not even think about cheating a day in his life as every Tr fan knows so that’s a very good and important trait of his. <3

He’s overprotective, the thing that I mentioned before about him humiliating you? Yeah only he can do that dont be surprised if he whips out the katana when any other person does no matter who it is male or female.

He spoils you. If you look at something with interest, sanzu will go through hell and back to get that for you. He’s rich anyways, so why not use it on his girl? (the bold writing is his thoughts)

He adores your gifts too, no matter what it is it could be a plushie or any childish thing and he will squeal, giggle like a high school girl and run off with it.

He keeps it with him forever and ever. Imagine giving him a small flower you got of the ground. A year later you found out he kept that flower until it rotted and disintegrated.

He loves loves loves!!! PDA i mean, what’s the big deal on having your hands all over your girl? Yeah he just loves you and touching you.

Sanzu likes kissing your lips, jaw and neck and your mouth corners. (he usually kisses you there when you kiss his scars; please kiss his scars)

Surprisingly though he prefers holding hands over hugging. Don’t get me wrong he loves hugging you aswell but he thinks it’s more logical to hold your hand since it’s useful in a lot of situations.

Earlier i was speaking of children. He hates children and screams or barks at them in the streets for the fun of it and also chases them. That’s why you’ve got to put him on a leash and walk him like a dog.

He would choose bonten over you any day. His life is dedicated to the criminal organisation and he’d probably give you a dirty look if you ever tried to suggest him leaving because it’s too “dangerous”

“you knew exactly what you were getting into when you met me, darlin’” — infamous words from Sanzu himself.

Unless you’ve been there for him since day 1 then it’s a different story, including if he would die for you. lol either way you can’t leave him if you try, your stuck together like glue literally.

Sanzu would never force drugs onto you, he’s fully aware of the dangers as an addict and he isn’t fucking stupid. In fact he would distance you from it.

He can be really clingy, Sanzu will cling onto your arm and trail behind you wherever you’re going like a lost puppy.

Or for example imagine watching a movie or your sitting down somewhere together/in a bonten meeting. Then you get up planning to leave he instantly gets up when you do and murmurs. “where you goin? Leavin me?” You’re probably just going to the bathroom aswell. Then when you sit back down, he sits back down too. It’s a cute habit of his. <3

He can cook, he makes stuff for you when he feels like it. Usually it’s when he’s higher than the clouds and denies it.

✧ — NSFW

Sanzu nsfw? This guy is freaky as fuck dont expect some wild shit to come up on here once again. TW

Oral, receiving or giving he doesn’t mind but he likes giving you pleasure just a little bit more cause he gets high of seeing you loose control like that. “shit— say my name like that.. please, please.. fuck ur so beautiful”

He gets down on you regularly especially if you’re stressed, he’ll let you release that stuff anytime anywhere.

Imagine: His half-lidded eyes flickered up to your figure watching your expression as he slowly trailed circles with his tongue on your puffy clit. Before diving straight lapping at your juices and bringing your pussy lips in between his teeth when you squirmed he was already laughing, amused at your reaction. ‪‪”let it out, fucking scream until you lose your voice.” ❤︎‬

Once he does get his face in between your legs, he’s going wild with it. Spitting, slapping, biting whatever this man can come up with will happen. 

Imagine: “such a greedy girl, wanting more than she can handle huh?” He giggled like a crazed person his eyes widening in the process. Without further ado he pulled back spitting straight at your aching core watching as his own saliva trailed down in between your slit, his pupils following like a kitten chasing after a teaser toy. ‪‪❤︎‬

Sanzu torments you a lot. Sometimes he just wants to see you in pain, he loves that look on your face overwhelmed by sexual frustration as his fingers raise up and slaps ur throbbing pussy over and over again until you came.

Imagine: Smack! His slender digits landed on your aching core when you didn’t speak making you whine and arch your back. “cum then, all over my fingers don’t hold back, love.” Smack! “fuck—“ smack! “Haru!“ smack! “Try again doll!” Smack! Smack! Smack! ‪‪❤︎‬

When you give him head? Shit he swore he was on the moon at this point. His hand gripping your hair as he threw his head back, beads of sweat trailing down his forehead and moaned shamelessly forcing your mouth to take more of him, more!

Sanzu is really vocal, he just doesn’t care in general. If he feels good he wants you to know in every humanly way possible.

He can be a bit mean with it though. Every day isn’t the same he will switch up from time to time. Sanzu is just a really unexpected person.

Imagine: His tinted lips curled into a sadistic smile while you draw kitten licks just on the tip of his dick, he move your head forward slowly observing as your tongue curved around him. You seemed to be enjoying this hm— that can’t happen. He shoved his thick cock deeper into your mouth without warning, watching as you gagged your eyes watering and saliva trailing down your mouth. ❤︎‬

He loves stuffing you up with his digits whenever possible, he likes it because he can practically do it anywhere. Under a table, in his car while driving with one hand, in any meetings if you ever decide to visit. 1 finger, then 2 then three, shit he might just shove his whole hand in there (fisting). Semi-public sex is something he doesn’t mind doing

imagine: Sanzu eyed you as he was slumped back on the chair slouching a bit, scoffing each time rindou mentioned another ‘traitor’ in the gang during the meeting. He was so wearied of the same shit happening all the time. The only thing he could focus on was his two fingers that were buried deep in your soaking pussy, feeling your gummy walls tighten around him. He curled them slightly noticing you wriggle his piercing dull-blue eyes staring at you with that same smug expression before leaning closer his breath tickling the sensitive spot beneath ur ear. “your a fuckin’ waterfall sweetheart, go on then. Fuck yourself on my fingers.. hm?” ❤︎‬

Sanzu is such a hater, to put it simple he does not like seeing you happy sometimes and just wants to ruin it. Especially during sex. Everything could be normal, he’s fucking you until you’re dizzy, pampering your body with light kisses. He’ll then take advantage of you in that state, pulling a knife out of his waistband of his pants and drives the blunt edge onto your body.

Dont be suprised if he switches the knifes placing and cuts a long streak on your arm and his own, the stinging pain puts him in a frenzy. Watching as the blood oozes out of your delicate skin and trails downwards, he smudges it away after a while of him being put into a trance at the sight, before smearing it all over your face and digging his nails harshly into your cheekbones leaving red nasty marks. He’ll even poke the pointy bit dangerously close to your inner thigh.

When he gets like this it can be a little fucking terrifying because he is a sadist, like I said this is bonten Sanzu we are talking about.

Most of the time he’ll ask for you consent though, if you ever let him hurt you he would. He loves you so much it actually makes him want to rip you apart sometimes. You can tell by the way he stares at you, even when your sleeping peacefully.

Sanzu is a professional dirty talker, some of the shit he says are so wild that you randomly thing about it in the middle of the night and wonder how you let that slide.

Definitely into cockwarming, the idea of having his dick tucked away in your tight walls. He gets soso hard just at the thought. However he cannot last forever, Sanzu will end up thrusting upwards causing lewd sounds to escape those pretty lips of yours.

He loves every single position, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, having you bent over, missionary (while having your legs on his shoulders) and face down, ass up, as long as your satisfied and he’s satisfied it doesn’t matter.

He might just make you ride him when he’s already fucked you out. Without helping of course, if you do manage to keep up dont expect a praise either. “Ah— you actually did it? Too bad nono praise from me.” and then he kisses you and clings to you the whole day

This man is so unserious during sex, not like making a joke every second but he’ll just laugh at you and bully you on occasions. However it’s really rare for him to be serious throughout the entire thing but when it does happen it does not disappoint.

Whenever he comes back from a long day of bonten, he might spread ur legs apart and fuck u with his black glock pointed at the very middle of your head, no safety to be found. He gaslights you into believing that if you keep moving around he’ll pull the trigger and let your body decay by itself. Then the crybaby tears come, he loves that.

If you do too him because he’s a switch. Please cause this man pain, he’s a masochist as well and if the pain comes for you then he’s down for it. He’ll give you full permission.

Sanzu adores making you squirt, for some reason he gets excited when you do. His face lighting up as he feels the liquid spray over his face. Will proceed to overstimulate you after.

Face-riding is his shit, having your dripping clit on his face? He is devouring it like a starved animal. He would suffocate himself. “mmm— going to drown me huh?” He mumbled in between slurps, his voice muffled

Aftercare is chill, he actually loves you even though he’s a sick fuck. He’ll cook with you, bathe with you but that’s only usually. Sanzu normally would either fall asleep like a baby with one arm slinging over your waist or you guys would just chill and vibe. He gives you a lotta love too.

꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ — ˗ˋˏ sanzu is genuinely so beautiful. ˎˊ˗

༘⋆ be nice tumblr and don’t delete this. Happy new years!!<3

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 438 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

God. It’s like every week, I get even more tired than the previous week. What has my life come to? I feel so dead inside.

Anyways, wooooo new chapter is here. Let’s goooooooo!!!

“DiD yOu JuSt HiT a CoP ?” Yeah mf. Call it “injustice” or a “crime”, IDC. Daniel gon beat yo ass GTA style. 😤

It’s ok Daniel, go get him!!!

*h e a v y s i g h*

. . .

PLEASE. EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND WHILE I… “TAKE CARE OF SOME BUSINESS”.

*stays in the bathroom for about 30 min*

I'M KIDDING... not really.

BRUH EVEN DANIEL IS NAKED? AROUND GUN??? This is dangerous. 😭😭😭

OHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYY GAAAAAAAHHHHHDDDD.... SIRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! THE WET HAIR THOOOOOO. 😩😩🤤🤤🤤🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

I def know what I want for Christmas this year... 👀

Santa would definitely kill me in my sleep...

N S F W M E M E W A R N I N G !!!

(If you don't wanna see the inappropriate meme, just scroll past it.)

God, my 😺 been quivering... What? I bet those of you who read Rendezvous would agree that you want him too. I'M LOOKING AT YOU!! READERS WHO'VE READ THOSE CHAPTERS ACTING LIKE YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT, SMH. 👁👁 Don't lie.

Man, this is giving me mad inspiration to write again. Who knew that some steamy shower panels would bring me back to continue writing for that story? How ironic. 😅

YESSSSSS GUN BBG, MAN WHORE, DADDYYYYYYY. 🥰

DAAAAAAAAMMMNNNNN DANIEL, BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE FANCY FIGHTING SPINS!!! Also, "I'm gonna get punished severely when I get back." 🧐 Is Gun gonna make you give him 🧠 or nah? Like what?

BRUHHHHHHHHHH. DANIEL NOOOOOOOOOO!!! 😭😭😭

AWWWW BABY, DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT. JUST CONTINUE TO GIVE IT YOUR ALL!!! 🥺🥺

Awwwww shit... Is this where I think this is going...? 😭

Hey Alexa, play "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.

OMG WAIT. HE DOESN'T LOOK THAT DIFFERENT FROM WHEN HE WENT CRAZY MODE IN HIS OTHER BODY!!! :O God, it's like the same demon possessed Daniel or something.

OK DANIELLLLL!!! I SEE YOUUUUUU, KING!!!! 😩😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

AYO, IS THAT JAKE'S OLDER BROTHER??? 👀 HOW TF JAMES LEE KNEW ABOUT HIM AND NOT EVEN HIS OWN BROTHER, JAKE KIM KNEW ABOUT HIM UNTIL TOM LEE MENTIONED HIM??? 💀💀💀💀

Geez, I'm starting to feel bad for Jichang. Like, ok Daniel, I get it. Your fight with Jichang started because you're trying to find out more about Jinyoung and all that, but... y'all can't just... talk it out? 😅 "Civilized folks" style? No? Ok.

Oh crap... that's not good. 😬

B R U H. THESE PANELS GAVE ME MAD GOOSEBUMPS. SHIIIIIT. I HOPE DANIEL'S HOMIES ARRIVE!!!! 😖

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I KNEW ITTTTTTT!!! I TOLD Y'ALL WTF. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I EVEN KNEW IT IN THE LAST REVIEW HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I GOT PSYCHIC POWERS. 🔮

SEE???? I CONCLUDED THIS LAST WEEK WITH MY OWN WORDS, BRUH. CALL ME A... G E N I U S. ✨ (Actually don't. I'm still a dumbass.)

"Thanks. I almost died just now." 💀💀💀💀 Idk why I thought that line from Hudson was funny to me LMFAOOO. Just caught me off guard because I mostly see him being so serious all the time. Also, Jichang... don't underestimate Daniel lol. It'll be your downfall if you do.

I stg. Almost every chapter, Daniel always gets even more attractive. 😍😍

I always see people comment on how Daniel is turning more into Gun due to how he has improved in fighting as the story progresses. HOWEVER, I've never heard Daniel becoming James Lee before and I find that concept very interesting. I'm not sure if PTJ is leading Daniel towards that path of him becoming the new "James Lee", since he is a self-righteous character who seeks truth.

Even though I find this moment to be very cool, I worry that Daniel might create more enemies for himself and I hope he doesn't kill anyone then spiral into long-term guilt like James Lee.

God, I still can't get over the GUN SHOWER PANELS. AHHHHHHHHH!!! HIM... NAKED??? I MEAN, COME ON MAN. HE LITERALLY IS EXPENSIVE ALCOHOL WHO REALLY AGED SO GOOD. SO TASTY. SO DELICIOUS. SO SCRUMPT-DIDDLY-UMPTIOUUUSSSSS!!! CALL ME A CONNOISSEUR, BUT HE CAN BE THE YAMATO TO MY HENNESSY, WITH HIS HIGH PRICED SEXY ASS. 🤤🤤🖤🖤🖤🖤

If any one mentions him in the shower, yk Imma be "showering" down there. 💦

ALSO, WE NEED MORE SHOWER FAN SERVICE PTJ. KEEP 'EM COMING!!!

The correct answer is "Both".

They'd be amazing Calvin Klein models.

Anyways, BYE- 🏃🏽‍♀️

[martellspear]

I will never understand how people ride so hard for the ship of Rhaegar and Lyanna… it’s barely a ship. Grown ass man groomed Lyanna… riding off the coat tails of a prophecy that was actually a warning/curse to the Targaryen lineage. Elia deserves better and her babies too. I highly doubt Jon would be okay with what his father did (I understand why some people don’t like Jon) but Jon is always about loyalty. (This is a stab to the fanaticals who use Jon to defend Rhaegar). No one likes Rhaegar, and these weirdo stans need to understand that he was an asshole who abandoned his kids. If he was really serious on protecting his children, he should’ve gotten all of them out of KL and taken them to Dorne before doing any act against his father. He was an asshole and an idiot. These stans need to chill on the internalized misogyny and racism. Anyways, long live Queen Elia, and her babies <3

he learned that he got the prophecy wrong once and decided that it was worth risking everything for it again😭. i'm not going into the he loved her or not (because he didn't), but their entire is just SO weird. the entire thing.

i don't think that jon will be proud nor lean toward a targfication once he finds out the truth; he will hate the learn what was the price of his birth, that his half siblings are dead because of his idiotic father - not only that but his uncle and grandfather as well -.

idc if people enjoy rhaegar as a character or not, but at least recognize that he what he did was awful and led to the destruction of his House and family. So much that in the show, the result of this entire thing is the fruit of this betrayal killing rhaegar's little sister so 🤷‍♀️ (i think it's a interesting irony)

to me, he was absolute certain the targaryens would win because it's ✨written in the stars✨ and if his children are the saviors, no harm could come to them. he was completely blinded and seeking meaning to the tragedy surrounding his life.

it just pisses me off so much that elia and naerys share a similar story but the treatment they get is completely different. they can't even hide it. and the prove that their ship is so twisted is that they have to transform an innocent woman - who is always described as sweet and rhaegar was fond of - into a horrible person.

anwyay, elia deserved better and i'll never get over the end she and her babies had (and that's why i'll continue writing queen elia/ elia-centric fics 🤭

[salted-caramel-tea]

either way i think drantis are way worse than the reputation they’ve built for dream fans despite how much they preach political correctness and moral superiority . i’ve been watching dream for just over two years now and here’s a list of my interactions with antis

March 2021 - Somi Malek

a 16 year old girl from new york made a total of 8 tumblr accounts to

-harass me

- send me fanfiction about mutiliation rape incest and animal abuse

- write a fanfiction in my asks about me being raped by both dream and sapnap (separate asks)

- sent me suicide bait, death threats, rape threats

- downloaded and sent mw pictures of myself from my private social media accounts and threatened to post them online on body rating sites .

i almost had to get the police involved because tumblr wasn’t responding to my harassment reports

this was because i posted under #dreamwastaken

The First Las Nevadas Stream (also march 2021)

i made a post saying it made me uncomfortable that people were saying dream deserved to be tortured under the cc!dream tag

antis used this an excuse to tell me

- i deserved to be tortured ‘just like that f****t streamer*

- i needed to be raped with a rusty pipe (i’ll never forget that one)

- i got sent suicide bait for a week straight

there was some overlap with the somi incident here

October 2022-

anti commented under my post about how ugly dream is and whatnot post face reveal stuff u know anyway i told them it was unnecessary and to get some friends and make their own post and they

- called me a slut

- tried to imply i was a child predator for telling a minor to stop fighting with them under my post (i have the word slut in my url which means all my interactions have a sexual undertone apparently)

- tried multiple times to trick me into saying i hated poly people

- when i shut down the conversation they forged screenshots of me saying i hate poly people and they aren’t valid and threatened to send it to people

this was for saying idc if dream isn’t your type tell him he’s pretty which most people would know is lighthearted stan behaviour

those are the biggest issues thatve stuck with me but there’s been so many incidents where i’ve had to shut my ask box or close anon asks or take a whole break from tumblr because people stalk the dream smp tag to see who they can target

i get hate asks on a near daily basis and here’s what they come to

- sapnap would sexually assault me

- i deserved my sa (happened after i opened up about it for the first time and when i said i hates what minx said about the recent situation)

- general death threats

- slut shaming

- dream is a bad person (the reason varies) and he would commit a violent crime on me (also varies sometimes he wants me dead sometimes he wants to rape me depends on what the antis are thinking about)

- sui bait (expected)

- sui baiting dream in my inbox

- dream is going to rape george

- sapnap is going to beat george to death for being gay

amongst other things this is only the things i can think of that happened to ME and i know that there’s so many people who revive so much violent hate for just existing on their blog and posting about their interests from people who take a personal offence to people being a fan of someome they don’t like . and they have the gall to say that WE are the aggressors in the situation when they’ve been telling us to kill ourselves for years now

dream fans have a reputation from the way SOME people acted on twitter, but antis are using the facade of moral righteousness to disguise the fact that they are displaying all the violent behaviours they project into us

[stfuviolet1]

Thank you for showing up, Fey.

This picture was taken on last Saturday night (12/08/23) where I attended a Theather played by my bestfriend’s husband, Dinesh. At first I was hesitant to go considering of how self-conscious I am with my physical now. But I’m tired of seeing my friendship falling apart. Apparently me keeping on bailing out has made a lot of my friends upset. Numerous missed calls, Ignored text messages, dead social medias have kept them up wondering what is wrong with me am I still alive (?) Well I don’t blame them tho. At this point just call me Queen-of-Isolating-Herself-When-Something-Is-Wrong. I mean that’s what I’m best at right?

My dear friends, let’s just put it this way. I’ve always despise people who project their insecurities on other people. But I’m not gonna lie that I’m currently not at my best version and has been struggling with my own insecurities that it’s starting to eat me from within. My self confidence is on the ground my self-esteem is almost nonexistent. If there’s one thing I (used to) like about myself is my confidence but now it seems like I’m the most vanilla. I mean life can throw wtv the shit it wants at me idc for as long as I have my confidence, nothing will stop me from moving forward. Im unstoppable. I’m not scared of living, I’m not scared of dying I’m not scared of being alone I just need my confidence to get through everyday but when I’ve lost something that’s way too priceless just because of how I hate the way I look now? I feel nothing but DEFEATED. Worse? by my own thoughts. WORSE? I let it happen.

Anyways coming back to my point of me despising people who project their insecurities on other people, I’m currently taking a break from social medias and disassociating myself from everyone so I don’t end up becoming like one of those people I despise but rather taking my time to figure out my life and build my confidence back again. I know it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna take a lot of dedication, hardwork, consistency but I promise for as long as I live, I’ll take care of myself. Baby steps. One day at a time remember? I’ll come back stronger. I promise.

That being said, I’d like to thank myself for taking the courage to show up again. Thank you Fey, thank you for not letting your friends down this time. I know it’s not easy for us, to even wake up and get dressed and go out again. But you did it. We did it. In fact you showed up twice this month alone. First when you said yes to Sarah and watched Barbie together. ‘Twas a good day right? I remember how content I felt after saying goodbye to Sarah. The meaningful conversation over lunch? The laughter? The jokes you made? Not to mention you got to visit mini petting zoo and saw a lot of exotic animals and CUTE KETZ. It feels like you’re living again. It wasn’t that bad after all throwing yourself out there right?

And second when you said yes to Becca and watched Theather together. I know one of the reason is you’d feel bad if you didn’t go cause she bought the ticket for you. But hey look at how important people think you are Fey, that they’d willing to pay more just to have you there. How can you disappoint her this time? I mean you skipped Erika’s bday bash with some stupid excuse (am sorry girl promise I’ll make up to you) and now you gonna let Becca down? Nah mate thank god I knocked some sense into us and made ourselves go. In fact the show was brilliant. I’ve never been to that kind of Theather. Thought it’s gonna be some typical theater where you are seated in horizontal seats and just watch the play as you yawn but who am i kidding, it’s totally different than what I expected and most importantly I had fun??? Funny how there was no dialogue at all from the actors but it was very interactive show. Brilliant. Kudos to Dinesh and the rest of the team. Oh and did I mention how Dinesh seemed to be in his element when he acted for the show? Hahah no wonder Becca is furious at how determined he is with the show.

Anyways, look at you baby. I’m so proud of you Fey I really do. I saw how confident you were when talking to people that night. I saw how you were able to make eye contacts again when talking. Two stranger even came up to you to say hi and one them remembers you from Ethics Programme! Wow. Nothing but proud. I hope we will keep on striving to be our best, Fey. Please don’t ever give up. There’s still so much to look forward to in life. So many people, places, food to explore. I promise.

P/s: how bout we make it 3rd time of socializing this month and go out with Syaza to watch Oppenheimer and eat the goddamn steak? Maybe I’ll reward you with something? ;)

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

Minami x6 you are okay boss everyone needs to recharge sometimes……. Im actually extremely head empty today so apologies if this is like just Entirely Words V_V But real real…… I wish there was more general discussion of Majima's relationship with his family because iirc it wasn’t even something he asked for initially but he gets it Anyways and now he just has to deal with it. But not only that it soon becomes somehow The Biggest Family in the tojo which leads now to Majima basically being responsible for like so much of the clan to the point where he’s constantly getting threatened because there’s no one else TO threaten anymore the tojo is in such shambles…. and well how are you expecting him to act normally and kindly in this sort of situation. I wish the games took it more seriously because I feel like at least w what we see of Nishida Majima's casual violence and abuse is treated a bit too Jokingly but like I get why he’s Like That. World is a hell the cycles just keep continuing forever! Also nah you’re okay for tangents I also actually love Majima a lot I just feel myself break out into hives whenever I have to witness fandom Majima Family stuff where a lot of it treats it as though it’s just like funny cutesy hahas and not like an Organisation of extremely violent and fucked up people who realistically probably don’t know how to really interact with each other and the interesting ways this could be shown. Like i love shitposts top but come on gang. Png

Also I hope you don’t take this poorly but I have no idea who Aratani is <///3 I couldn’t find him on the wiki and Im not super far yet in the yakuza franchise so you’ll have to excuse me if your points In Regards to majima family members which one actually is taken seriously and which one is not Im just nodding along. But YES real I loooveeeeeee the whole minor theme of like reputation and stories in yakuza…. I think Kiryu is the most notable example of this with how much reverence people put on his name and how it affects like important characters (nishiki most obviously but also Ryuji and the whole debate of “There can only be one dragon” etc) but Majima would definitely also have stories about him that would spread far and wide and it doesn’t matter if they’re true or even real at all because it’s the Image that lingers and that would affect the people around him too most importantly to this discussion Minami. Wants to be somebody ism IS real and i am shaking it around by the neck

Minami might be a lil side character goofy guy but he is my friend and ill put the work into developing him if i must. RGG hire me for my spin off game where you are a employee at Majima construction and you do building minigames and get to hang out with and get to know better Nishida and Minami respectively amen. And i hope the playlist making of one day goes well <33

FEAR NOT! i have pickture of the sulking wretched fiend.....

I'm afraid i don't have a screenshot of him not going on about his whole deal but he's literally patriarch-gunner personified....... Aratani (and most other M.Family men that i'll ever mention for a while besides Minami and Nishida) is a Dead Souls exclusive! i am currently watching a playthru of DS because i've already exposed myself to spoilers a'plenty cause idrc + i think having the most atrocious watchorder of Yakuza is really really funny. We've gone from all of Y0 shown to me by an ex > a lil bit of Y1 > Dead Souls > and then imma do either Y7 or Y3. i enjoy making things harder for myself

also ive had the exact same wishful thinking to myself....... sidecharacter spinoff game...... where u just hang out with them or some shit whatever. most loserific iteration being a Minami focused one because Who Even Wants That but i'll own it idc i have ideas. i have plans. the haters (rggstudios legal team) will sabotage me etc etc. i'd like to think i could have an okay shot at balancing the At First I Lol'd with the But Then I Serioused in a way that's satisfying 'cause both are integral to these characters to me. just like, two more seconds of thinking implications of Anything through would do this series Wonders

but sidetracking cause you mentioned M.Construction and its got me Thinking Again cause like.... i like the idea of balancing Nishida + Minami as opposites in many ways who clash and struggle to fit in with the other. they're not perfect opposites by any means but they function pretty closely. i like stressed, decent Nishida representing the side of the family involved with M.Con while lenient punk twat Minami is firmly planted in the Yakuza side. if Junior Leader is at all involved with a training position then that kind of helps prop up this idea a little bit.... though, ofc, there would be plenty overlap, having so many men on payroll practically requires you to make jobs for them, so it's not like the Family is divided into these two sectors or anything.... lots of mixing of shifts goes down no doubt. whether there is a method to this assignment is another story entirely (probably depends on each person's strengths, abilities, whether they applied for sitework specifically, or as punishment/reward)

(shit i made up territory) Minami is probably assigned to M.Con worksites often.... probably as punishment 'cause you already know this man got the 80HDeez he can't sit still and not cause trouble for the life of him. it both keeps him in one place and occupied while still holding over his head that he Fucked Up, Dummy. oh great, now I gotta deal with Nishida's bullshit (petty squabbling ensues in the office that's my setup to get the two to interact on a regular basis anyways.... there's lots of fun to be had with these two, but so little actually bridges them together. they're SOOO WORSTIES but they work on the other ends of the Family. one's at Oyaji's beck-and-call and the other is kept as far away from Oyaji as possible the millisecond he annoys him a lil too much. one belongs in finance and requires anxiety drugs while the other can't dress himself and needs rehab. oh my god theyre so (crushes them in my hands like putty

[leossmoonn]

True Colors

masterlist 

pairing - stefan salvatore x fem, human!reader 

type - fluff, lil angst

note / request - “Can you do a reader x stefan salvatore where she is the only one who doesn't make him feel bad when he consumes human blood, and the ripper stefan is also a friend and they both have feelings for each other” this was super fun to write! this does have an actual plot loll and is kinda long. don’t ask me what season this takes place is cause idk, it’s kinda all over the place lol. anyways, enjoy!

summary - you show stefan love while he’s the ripper

warnings / includes - mild language, fighting, mild violence, talk about blood and dead bodies, you have a near-death experience, kissing. stefan has his humanity off for most of this  

————

*gif isn’t mine* (him having blood dripping down his face is so hot idc)

The first time you saw Stefan with blood around his mouth, bloodshot eyes, and his hair all tousled was the day you were going to confess your feelings to him. It had been a year since him and Elena had broken up, and he hand’t tried to date anyone else. You two had gotten a lot closer since him and Elena’s break up. He seemed fine, too. Well, you thought that until you saw him decapitate someone

“Stefan!” You shouted, eyes wide and watering at the sight in front of you. 

Stefan growled in response, lifting his head up off the dead body that he was feeding on. He turned to look at you. His eyes were hooded and blood was all over his face and down his neck. He was barring his fangs, looking at murderously. 

You looked at him with confusion and pain, but not fear. You knew he had become the ripper. You had read about it in his journals and he had talked about it briefly with you. He described himself as a monster. Something who people feared, something who he hated. You never understood it, though. You had known Stefan for four years and in those four years, you had only seen him be kind, compassionate, and selfless. Sure, he got angry sometimes and struggled with the bloodlust, but he kept himself in check. As you looked over him, though, you didn’t see the monster who he and everyone else  - Damon and Klaus - had described. You saw a boy who was lost and afraid, and felt like he had no choice but to feed. 

“Stefan?” You asked softly, walking over to him slowly. 

“Get away from me!” He shouted. 

“Stef, it’s okay,” you assured, keeping eye contact with him. 

“No, it’s not!” Stefan exclaimed. He got up, licking up the leftover blood. “I said, get away from me!” He sped away from you, going out of the cafeteria. 

You huffed, turning around and making your way out of the school. You ran as fast as you could, hoping you could catch him. You ran out of the school, thankful that the sun hadn’t set. As you walked out, your phone rang in your pocket. You pulled it out, sighing as you saw Damon’s caller ID.

“Hello?” You answered. “Hey, where are you?” Damon asked.  “School,” you said. “What?! I thought I told you stay at home!” Damon exclaimed. 

“I’m not a kid, Damon. I’m 20 years old,” you muttered. 

“Yeah, well you act like you’re five. You could’ve gotten hurt.”

“I can protect myself,” you argued. “You’re a human, Y/n!” He protested. 

“Yeah, and that makes me less capable of everything than everyone else, right?” You scoffed.  “N-No, but-”

“No buts, Damon. You are full of crap.”

“Hey, this is not my fault! You were the one who disobeyed the orders. What would Stefan say if he found out you put yourself in danger?” 

“Well, I don’t think he’d really say anything considering he just up and left when I found him feeding on someone,” you chuckled. 

“He was feeding on someone in the school?” Damon asked. 

“Yeah, one of the football players that was in the locker room,” you explained. 

“Damn, he’s hungry,” Damon remarked. “Yeah, well, we need to find him. I-I need to find him,” you breathed out, thinking about what you were going to say to him. 

“What? So you can confess your love to him and make him turn his humanity off? Fat chance of that,” he laughed. 

You frowned, “Yeah, and you thought you would be the one to turn Elena’s humanity on, right? But no, it was Matt who was able to.”

Damon sighed, “Shut up. Did you see where Hero Hair went?”

“Out of the school?” You guessed, knowing you wouldn’t be any help.  “Wow, really? Who would’ve thought that!” 

You rolled your eyes, “Not the time for your remarks, Damon. I’m serious, we need to find him.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, he couldn’t have gotten far. Drinking that much blood literally is the same as getting high. He’ll crash soon.”

“I thought a ripper never stops?” You asked, quoting Stefan from when Klaus compelled him to kill Elena. 

“Yeah, well, he needs to sleep sometime.”

“Right. Well, I’ll start at my house, okay?” You suggested. 

“Why would he be at your house?” 

“Because it’s the only place he actually spends time at besides your house. He knows it’s safe there,” you explained.

“What about your dad?” Damon asked. 

“He’s on a business trip in LA. Trust me, he won’t be back for another two days,” you assured. 

“Okay. Well, go ahead and get on going. You know how slow you humans can be,” Damon said. 

“Mhm, yeah. Bye,” you hummed, hanging up quickly. 

You let out a deep sigh, going over to your car. You hopped in, speeding to your house. You were thankful that is was nighttime and there weren’t any police on patrol. Not ones that were near you, anyways. You arrived at your house in five minutes, practically jumping out of the car. You went in your garage door, slowing your movements once you stepped inside the house. 

“Stefan?” You called out. 

You were met with silence. You closed the door behind you, walking into the kitchen. The lights were on, something that you had turned off before you left the house. 

“Hello? Anyone here?” You called out again. 

As you walked further into the room, you heard a clatter from upstairs. Your heart rate spiked, the possibility of the person in your house not being Stefan entering your mind. You walked to the stairs, climbing them cautiously. You saw the lights on your bathroom, your bedroom door wide open. You turned on some lights, your eyes widening as you saw a trail of blood leading to your bedroom.

Stefan’s definitely here, you thought to yourself. 

“Stef? It’s me, Y/n!” You exclaimed, walking towards your bathroom. 

Another clatter sounded from your bathroom. You picked the pace, putting your hand on the doorknob once you arrived at the door. You went to turn the handle, but it was locked. 

“Damnit,” you muttered. You held your other hand up to the door, knocking softly. “Hey, Stefan? Can you open up the door?”

You leaned against the door, pressing your ear up to it. You could hear the heavy breathing from behind the door. 

“Stefan? Unlock the door, please,” you begged. 

You could hear him sigh, footsteps approaching the door. 

“I-I can’t, Y/n,” Stefan said.  

“You can, Stef. It’s okay,” you assured. “It’s not!” Stefan exclaimed, something falling after his words. 

You closed your eyes in slight irritated and worry. You weren’t mad at Stefan. You could never be. You just wanted him to open up so you could get him cleaned up and help him.  

“If you don’t open the door, I’m gonna break it down,” you threatened.  “No offense, Y/n, but you’re not strong enough,” Stefan remarked. 

You groaned quietly, he was right. That didn’t stop you from trying though. You walked backwards, angling your shoulder so it was aligned with the door. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself for impact. Before you could even start running, Damon, Caroline, and Elena appeared in front of you.  

“What the hell are you doing?!” Caroline exclaimed. 

You furrowed your brows as if it were obvious. “I’m going to help Stefan.”

“Yeah, like hell you are,” Damon chuckled. “Let the vampires do the work.”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t belittle me.”

Damon did nothing but roll his eyes in response. He stood in front of you, lifting his leg up and kicking your door open.

“Bet you weren’t gonna be able to do that,” Damon remarked. 

You said nothing and pushed past him, running into the bathroom. You heart broke as you saw Stefan lying on the floor, blood on the toilet and in the bathtub, your toiletries scattered everywhere. Stefan was curled up in the corner across from your toilet, shaking and sobbing. 

“Stefan,” you whispered, getting down on your knees and approaching him cautiously. 

“G-Get away,” he sobbed.  “No, Stefan. I’m not leaving you,” you shook your head, going to sit across from him. “It’s okay to be okay. You’re going to be okay. I’m going to help you.”

“I don’t want help!” Stefan shouted, lifting his head up from his arms. “I want food!” “O-Okay,” you nodded your head. “We’ll go to The Grill and get you something to eat. I-”

“I want more blood!” He hissed, veins appearing from under his eyes. Your jaw dropped as he reached out for you, his eyes on your neck. 

“Nope! Not today!” Damon exclaimed, rushing in and dosing Stefan with vervain. 

Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched Stefan’s eyes flutter close. Damon lifted Stefan up on his shoulders and walked out of the bathroom. You got up and followed him, begging Damon to leave Stefan for you to deal with. 

“You’re just gonna lock him up in the basement. He doesn’t need that!” You shouted. 

“You don’t know what he needs,” Damon muttered. 

You scoffed, looking at Caroline and Elena for help. You frowned once you realised they were on Damon’s side. 

“Seriously? Care, he is your best friend. Elena, I know you two have a past, but I know you still love him nonetheless. You can’t just let Damon do this!” 

“We’re sorry, Y/n. He’s really dangerous now,” Elena apologised. 

“Yeah, because he doesn’t know any better! All you three do is criticise and nag,” you said. 

“Okay, so the way Stefan is, is our fault?” Caroline scoffed. 

“Well, it certainly isn’t his!” You exclaimed. 

Elena sighed and walked over to you, putting her hands on each your arms. 

“Look, we’re sorry. I know I am. But you have to see that Stefan is dangerous now. The only way to help him is-” “Is to what, Elena?” You snapped. “Isolate him from his loved ones so he can feel even more pain once he turns his humanity back on? Yeah, good plan.”

“Y/n, c’mon, don’t be like this,” Caroline started. 

“No!” You shook your head and pulled out of Elena’s grasp. “This isn’t like you guys. I know seeing Stefan like this is scary, but that’s not an excuse to just give up. We are all friends, guys. Hell, I’m sure we all consider each other family. Family is supposed to protect each other. Not lock one of us in a dungeon when things get too hard.” It hurt you to see Caroline and Elena so hurt and full of tears, but you three knew that you were right. 

“I’m going to see if I can talk some sense into Damon, since obviously it isn’t working with you guys,” you muttered before pushing past them. 

Since that moment, you devoted yourself to helping Stefan. Not in the way your friends thought they were helping. You were going to show Stefan that it’s okay to drink human blood. That it’s okay to be a vampire and have struggles with bloodlust. You were going to show him the love that you knew he never gets when he becomes the ripper. But most importantly, you were going to be his friend.  

Every day for a two months, you visited him in the basement of his house where Damon insisted he stayed. You, Caroline, Elena, Damon and Bonnie worked on a plan to ween Stefan off of the blood and get him to turn his humanity back on.  It was a little against your purpose of helping Stefan. You did want him to turn his humanity back on, but you didn’t want to have to strip him from the basic necessities. You realised that fighting against the four people who were hell bent on doing exactly the opposite wasn’t going to work, so you went along with them. The only thing different you did was not taunt Stefan like Damon did and criticise like Caroline. You also had another plan worked up in your mind, but you didn’t dare tell the others. Not yet, anyways. 

“Bye, Elena! Hope you trip and fall up the stairs,” Stefan remarked as Elena left the cellar. 

“Be careful. He’s crabby today,” Elena warned. You gave her an appreciative smile, “Thanks.” She nodded and left you alone in the basement with Stefan. You opened the cellar door and went into his cage, seeing him chained up in his usual spot. 

“Oh, look, it’s Miss Do-Gooder. Where’s Blondie? I thought she was supposed to look after me after Elena,” Stefan asked. 

You chuckled at your nickname, knowing that if you let yourself get bothered by his rude attitude, it would distract you from the task at hand. 

“Caroline is out with Tyler today. She’s misses him and he’s misses her,” you answered.  

“Ah, I see,” he sighed. “Young love is amazing, isn’t it?” “It sure is,” you nodded. “I’ve experienced that before. With two women who looked exactly the same. I thought that one was better than the other, but no. They both left me,” Stefan chuckled. 

“Katherine didn’t leave you for Damon,” you disagreed. 

“No, but she did leave me to save herself. God, women are so selfish, aren’t they?” Stefan asked. 

You sat down across from him. “Hey, that’s not so nice. Save the comments about us girls for Damon, m’kay?”

“I don’t talk to Damon,” he rolled his eyes. “I know. Trust me, I wouldn’t either if I were you,” you agreed.

Stefan looked at you, narrowing his eyes. Even though you had told him countless times about why you were nice to him when he was so rude to you and everyone, he still didn’t understand. He knew that before he turned his humanity off, you two were good friends. He would even consider you and him to be closer than Caroline and him, but that still didn’t explain why you were so kind and patient. He guessed it was just because you were a generally nice person, but so was Elena and Caroline. Nothing really added up in his mind. 

“So, you have my food?” He filled the silence. 

“Yep,” you nodded and pulling out a water bottle full of blood and a bag of burgers from the backpack that was on your shoulders. 

“You got me human food, too? So generous?” Stefan smirked, reaching out to take the takeout bag. 

“Nu-uh. This is for me,” you shook your head, pulling the bag away from his reach. You unscrewed the cap of the bottle, sliding it over to him. 

“I can do that myself, you know,” he said, grabbing the bottle roughly. 

You watched as red surrounded his green irises. He downed the drink in seconds, gasping for air as he threw the bottle across the room.  

“I take it Damon didn’t give you any yesterday?” You asked.

“Nope. He’s such a dick.”

You smiled and took a bite of your burger, “So, how was your time with Elena?”

“Boring,” he answered flatly. 

“To be expected. I know you don’t talk much to the others.”

“You say that like I talk to you a whole lot,” Stefan said. You shrugged, “Well, I talk to you more than the others do.”

“True, and I don’t know why. it’s not like I even talk back.”

“You’re talking back now,” you pointed out. Stefan pursed his lips and gave you a glare. 

You grinned back. “I know, I’m a smart ass.”

“Well, you definitely got an ass,” he remarked, his eyes wandering from your face to your legs. 

You lowered your gaze at him, heat rising up your neck. Ever since he had turned off his humanity, he flirted with you everyday. He wasn’t the shy, loner boy you had grown to love. He was this flirtatious, irritated guy who just wanted to suck people dry. Hearing Stefan flirt with you wasn’t something new as you had been experiencing it in the past two months, but it definitely still made you flustered. 

“It’s so funny how shy you get when I compliment you. You’re usually so outgoing,” he commented. 

“Yeah, well, it’s not everyday that a guy says your butt looks nice,” you chuckled. 

“Well, except you do receive those comments every day because of me.”

“True,” you giggled, looking back up at him. “Hey um, don’t tell anyone, but I got you something.” “The key out of here?” Stefan guessed. 

“No, sorry, but I think you’ll like this more,” you said, pulling out a little water bottle full of human blood.  

Stefan’s eyes widened and got all red. “W-Why would you let me have this?”

“Because the rabbit and squirrel stuff everyone else is feeding you isn’t going to work. You need to learn how to control the blood thirst with human blood, not animal,” you explained. 

Stefan nodded and hummed, his eyes never leaving the bottle. 

“I’m not letting you have all of it. I’m just going to pour some into the cap and have you drink that much, okay?” You opened the bottle slowly, pouring the blood into the cap. 

Stefan growled, his mouth widening to show his fangs. You set the bottle down, taking the cap from the old bottle and screwing it onto the bottle full of blood. You set the small bottle in your backpack, holding the bottle cap full of blood steadily. You looked back to Stefan, seeing sweat beads line his forehead as he tried to contain himself. Even with his humanity turned off, he still didn’t want to hurt you. 

“You’re doing really good, Stefan,” you gave him an encouraging smile. 

“Get… Get that a-away from m-me,” he muttered, trying to move away from the blood, but he was only able to press himself against the wall. 

“No, Stefan. You need to be able to control yourself around blood,” you shook your head.   “I-If I drink that and get close to you, I could kill you.”

You let out a breathy smile, “No, you won’t. I trust you, Stefan.”

“Well, don’t!” He exclaimed, getting up from the floor. 

You sighed. You hoped he would be more relaxed around you. 

You stood up, approaching him slowly. “Hey, you’re okay. You can do this, Stefan. You are strong.” 

“I’m not,” Stefan shook his head furiously. Tears began to well up in his eyes. 

You frowned, your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach as you began to think this was a bad idea. Damon warned you, but you decided not to listen. You were beginning to wish you had, though. 

“Why don’t I put this away and we can try this another day, okay?” You suggested, beginning to go back to the blood bottle, but Stefan stopped you. 

“No! Give me the blood!” He exclaimed, trying to move towards you, but the chains stopped him. 

“A-Are you sure?” You asked slowly. 

He nodded, swallowing hard. 

“Alright. I’m going to hold it up to your lips okay and you’re gonna take a sip,” you instructed. 

“What if I hurt you?” He asked. “Well, thank god I have this,” you chuckled and held up the Gilbert ring and a bag full of vampire blood. 

“That won’t save you when I rip your head off,” he growled. 

“You won’t,” you smiled softly. “I trust you.” “Don’t,” he warned. 

You sighed and ignored his words, walking up to him again. He leaned against the wall, holding his breath as the scent of blood got stronger. You got up closer to him, your eyes never leaving his. Getting up close to him brought up the feelings you had been pushing down ever since Damon locked Stefan in the cellar. You hoped your attraction to him wouldn’t cloud your mind while trying to help him. 

“Okay, just take it nice and slow,” you directed, holding the bottle cap up to his lips. 

His eyes flickered from the bottle cap to you. Sweat broke on his brow, his whole body shaking. Your hand found his, intertwining your fingers with his. You knew this was something you did before he turned his humanity off that calmed him down. You prayed that it still worked. 

You held up the bottle cap to his lips, watching him as he sipped the blood. 

“Good job, Stef. You’re doing great,” you praised. 

After he took a little sip, you began to pull the cap away, but Stefan’s hand left yours and went on your arm. You gasped at how much pressure he was putting. 

“Stefan, let me go,” you demanded. 

He only growled, bringing you closer so the he could drink more blood. 

“Stefan, stop!” You exclaimed. You threw the bottle cap behind you, the blood splattering all over the walls. 

“What the hell did you do that?!” He roared. 

“Because you need to learn how to control yourself,” you frowned. “And trying to take control of me won’t help.” “What did you expect when you fed me the blood, Y/n? You thought I would be well-grounded? Well guess what, Y/n, I’m not like that. I’m a monster. Someone who rips peoples heads off after I’m done draining them. You were foolish to think that I could change,” he sneered. 

“Well, I guess I’m always going to be foolish because I still think you can change!” You argued. 

“Give me the rest of the blood,” he demanded. “No,” you said sternly, trying to get out of his grasp. 

His hold on you only tightened more. You could feel his thumb digging into your bone. 

“Let go of me,” you hissed. 

“Not a chance,” he said lowly, veins growing under his eyes. 

You then began to feel afraid. “Stefan, stop. You are better than this.”

“Stop saying that!” He yelled. “You, Caroline, Elena, Bonnie, and even Damon keep saying that. You all act like you know me, but you don’t. So stop trying to fix me.”

The bridge of your nose started burning as tears welled up in your eyes. You thought you made it clear you weren’t trying to fix him, but just help. You guessed your intentions weren’t as pure as you thought. 

“Stefan, I… I’m just trying to help you. I’m not trying to fix you, y-you don’t need to be fixed. I-”

“Oh, yeah? Because you keeping me locked in this cage is not helping. You want to help me? Then let me out. Let me be the monster I truly am!” Stefan fought against the chains. 

“No! You are not a monster, Stefan! I know everyone else says that, but it’s not true. You’re right, I don’t know you. Not while you’re like this, and probably not when you have your humanity on, anyways, but, I’m not trying to fix you. Please, you have to see that. I’m trying to help you see that it’s okay to drink human blood, you just have to have to be able to control your thirst. There’s no shame in being a vampire or a ripper. You just should be able to control it,” you explained your intentions, tears rolling down your face.  

“What if I don’t want to?” Stefan asked. 

You swallowed hard, blinking rapidly as the tears fell from your eyes and straight to the floor. You looked up at him through your lashes, pain and betrayal written all over your face. 

“Why? Why would you want that for yourself?” You asked hoarsely. 

Stefan sighed, not liking the look on your face. “Don’t you get it? I’m a monster. I’m a ripper. I’m The Ripper. I’m not someone who can be fixed.”

You furrowed your brows, taking a deep breath to calm yourself down. As much as you wanted to yell some sense into him, you knew that wasn’t the right way to achieve your goal. 

“Okay. Why don’t you say we just take a break today?” You suggested. You went to pack up your things.

Stefan scoffed, “A-A break? This isn't a game, Y/n.”

“I know,” you nodded. “But we are both too worked up now. We should take a break and continue this tomorrow.”

“Continue what? You trying to fix me?” 

You frowned and turned to him. “No. Me trying to help you.”

————

“I can’t believe you’re still going with this whole thing,” Damon scoffed. 

“Like what you’re doing is any better,” you rolled your eyes. 

“It’s what Lexi did, and that worked!” Damon exclaimed. 

You frowned and turned to him. “You don’t think I know that? Look, I know you love your brother and you want to help him, but you need to try harder. And you’re obviously not doing that, so I am.”

“You’re just going to end up getting hurt,” he chuckled. 

“Well, at least I’ll get hurt trying,” you muttered, stomping away from Damon. 

You entered the basement, approaching Stefan’s cellar. 

“Oh, you’re back. Goody,” Stefan muttered.  “I’m happy to see you, too,” you sighed, going into the cellar. 

Stefan furrowed his brows, looking over you. “You look sad. Why?”

“It’s your brother and everyone else,” you answered. 

“Don’t let Damon get to you. He’s just mad that he’s not in control,” he said. 

“But he’s never in control,” you snorted. 

“Well, he doesn't like being blamed, either, which is what is happening,” Stefan added. 

“True,” you nodded. “Well, are you hungry? I made some sandwiches.”

“I think we all know that’s not what I want,” Stefan said. 

You smiled softly, “You’ll get your blood soon.”

“Ugh, please don’t tell me we’re gonna try that stupid control thing again?” Stefan groaned. 

“We are!” You sang. “Why? I hoped our fight brought some realisation to you,” he said. 

“It did,” you nodded. “I realised that I need to try harder. I can’t just get upset because you’re upset. I have to be strong… like Lexi.”

“You are nothing like Lexi, no offense.”

“None taken,” your shrugged. “Although I am not Lexi, I am me. And let’s be honest, you love me.”

“In your dreams,” he rolled his eyes.

“C’mon. I know you have your humanity off and whatnot, but I know you liked me when you had it on.” 

“Yeah, well, that was a different time,” he muttered. “Well, it’s gonna be the same, soon,” you breathed out. 

You held up the plastic bottle full of blood. 

“Give it up! You’re not gonna get anywhere,” he taunted. 

“I beg to differ,” you said.  Honestly, a part of you doubted your plan. But you had to keep the faith, otherwise, Stefan would be locked in here for the rest of his life. And since he was a vampire, that would be forever.

“I see the look on your face. You don’t think is gonna work either,” Stefan laughed. 

“Shut it,” you grumbled, taking the blood and pouring it into a little dentist cup. “I’m going to unchain you.”

“What?” Stefan’s eyes widened. He definitely wasn’t expecting that. 

“The reason why I’m doing this is to get you to be able to control, but also not feel guilty. I want you to be able to enjoy yourself when you drink blood. Part of having you accomplish that is to not have you chained up,” you explained.

“Okay, now you really have lost your mind,” he chuckled. 

“Maybe so, but like I’ve been saying, I trust you. You won’t hurt me,” you stated, unlocking the chains from his wrists. 

Stefan sighed and rubbed his wrists, enjoying the feeling of being free. 

“And you can’t tell me that you don’t enjoy being able to walk around now,” you said. 

“Yeah, I do,” he admitted. You smiled at him, taking the cup and holding it up to his nose. 

“Just smell it first,” you said. 

Stefan took a deep breath in, but not exhaling. He shook his head, stepping back. 

“I-I can’t. Look, you helping me and trusting me is real nice and cute, but you have to realise that you just can’t. If I get one taste of that blood, I will start to drink yours,” he walked backwards. 

You moved forward, urging him. “You won’t. I know you won’t. But even if you do try, which again, I know you won’t, but just in case, I have this.” You held up a syringe full of vervain. 

“I’ll kill you before you can even puncture me,” he said. 

“Well, let’s hope my reflexes are good,” you grinned. 

He hit the wall and you caged him in. You put your hand on his chest, holding him against the wall. He fought against you, but he was weak. It was taking all of him to resist not drinking the blood in the cup and honestly, not to feed on you, too. 

“Relax,” you demanded. 

As you held the cup up, you stared into his forest green eyes. You two were silent, the only sound in the room was both of your heavy breathing. Being so close to him, touching his chest, feeling his breath on your lips, it felt so much more intimate than sex. The way he looked at you made your brain foggy and knees weak. You knew that doing this would probably end up with you dead. But you knew that nothing in this moment mattered more to you than him. Not even your own life. 

You put the cup directly under his nose. You watched in part amazement and slight fear as veins circulated under his eyes. His eyes turned red and he barred his fangs. Sweat broke on his forehead and you could tell he was having a rough time holding himself back. 

“You’re doing really good, Stefan. Really good,” you assured. 

He let out a low growl in response, closing his eyes and inhaling the scent of the blood. The veins under his eyes grew impossibly more prominent and longer. You gulped in fear, but tried to keep a straight face. 

“W-Why don’t you take a little sip, yeah?” You suggested. 

He nodded, his eyes not on you anymore. You held the cup up to his lips, tipping it up. He sipped it, sighing in relief. He had been waiting a whole day to taste blood. 

“Good, Stefan,” you praised and began to pull the cup away, but his hand grabbed your wrist. 

“Stefan, no. You know what happened yesterday,” you warned, trying to pull away from him. But once again, his grip on you was too tight for you to even move your arm. 

“Stefan, let go,” you hissed, using all your force to pull away, but it didn’t work. He brought the cup up to his lips, downing all the blood. 

“Hey!” You exclaimed. “Need… More….” Stefan gasped, letting you go and throwing you across the room. 

You caught yourself on your feet, but your back still hit the cellar door. You let out a huff as you straightened yourself back up. You watched with wide, fearful eyes as Stefan downed the entire blood bottle. 

“Shit, Stefan! Stop!” You shouted, running over to him. You grabbed the bottle and threw it across the room, the rest of the blood splattering all over the walls. 

“That was mine!” Stefan roared. 

You gulped and walked backwards from him. He looked at you, grinning maliciously. 

“Guess I’ll have to catch my dinner,” he hissed. 

“No, no, no. Stefan, no,” you shook your head furiously. Your back hit a wall. Tears clouded your vision as you knew that you couldn’t escape Stefan. 

He approached you slowly, tilting his head and looking at you with murderous eyes. His arms went on each side of you, trapping you between him and the wall. 

“Stefan, th-think about what y-you’re doing,” you stammered. 

Your eyes were full with terror. You now wished that you had listened to Damon earlier. 

“I told you you couldn’t trust me,” he taunted. He lifted his head up, his fangs coming into view. 

“Oh, God,” you cried, tears running down your face. You went to grab the vervain shot, but Stefan was faster than you. He grabbed it and threw it across the room. It shattered as it hit the wall. Stefan turned back to you with a smile.

“Whatcha gonna do now, Y/n?”

You whimpered in reply, struggling against the hold Stefan had you in. His hands were on your arms now, squeezing you and holding you against the wall. You begged him to let you go as his face got close to your neck. 

“Your heart is beating so fast. I can smell the blood pumping through your veins. I bet you taste so sweet,” he groaned. 

You jumped as you felt his tongue lick right where your carotid artery was. You wished that he would be licking your neck in a different circumstance, but you knew that would never happen. Especially not after he was done with you. As you felt his lips settle on your skin, you took a deep breath, deciding to confess the big secret you had been keeping from Stefan. You closed your eyes tightly, putting your lips up to his ear before speaking. 

“S-Stefan, I… I love you,” you whispered.

As you prepared yourself to be bitten, Stefan stopped all movement. You opened your eyes and looked down, confusion written all over your face. 

“St-Stef?” You stuttered. 

He looked up at you, his grip loosening up on you. You looked up at his face. His face didn’t have veins on it anymore and his eyes weren’t red. Instead, his brows were furrowed and regret and confusion were shining into his eyes. It was the first look of humanity that you had seen on him in months. 

“You…. You love me?” Stefan asked. 

You breathed out, your heart still racing just as fast. “Yeah, I… I do.”

“Oh,” he gulped. He stepped away from you, looking around the cellar. “W-What happened?” He asked, pointing to the blood splattered on the walls. “Is this… Is this all yo-your blood?”

You shook your head furiously, moving away from the wall. “No. Not at all.”

“Oh,” he muttered. 

“Stefan…” Your voice trailed off. “I-Is your humanity turned on now?”

Stefan looked to you, his face all scrunched up in shame. “Yeah… Did… Did I hurt you?”

You sighed in relief, walking over to him. You reached out to touch his arm, but he dodged you. 

“Y/n, did I hurt you?” He asked. 

You crossed your arms in front of you, not looking him in the eyes. “N-No. You didn’t. I-I mean, barley,” you chuckled out. 

“Oh, God,” Stefan muttered. “Oh, God,” he moaned, putting his hands in his hair and pulling. 

“Stefan, it’s okay. I’m alive!” You exclaimed, smiling at him. 

He looked at you, his eyes wide. “So? I almost hurt you; the girl that I love.”

Now it was your turn to stop and reevaluate his words. 

“You love me?” You asked. You hoped you weren’t just hearing things. 

Stefan looked at you sheepishly, no longer freaking out. Your lips spread out into a smile and you ran up to him, putting your hands on the sides of his face and pressing your lips to his. 

Stefan kissed you back immediately, wrapping his arms around your back gently. Your hands snaked down to his neck, pulling him impossibly closer. Your chests touch and butterflies exploded in your stomach. You kissed him hard with passion, promise, and relief. Not only because you had wanted to do this since forever, but you finally had Stefan back. 

You pulled away for air, looking into his eyes. You started to giggle, pulling him in for another kiss. Stefan’s hands went up to your face, pulling you away just far enough so your lips weren’t touching. 

“I’m so sorry for almost killing you. I didn’t mean to. There’s no excuse for it, but I-”

You interrupted him with a short, sweet kiss, pulling away to forgive him. “I know, I know. It’s okay, Stefan. I’m just glad you’re back now.” 

He chuckled, “I thought you said that me being the ripper was fine.”

“I just wanted you to learn control and part of that is accepting yourself. I’m sorry if I pushed you too far.”

“It’s okay. You were right, anyways,” he shrugged.

“Really?” You chuckled. “Yeah,” he nodded with a smile. 

“Well, good. If I didn’t do all of that, you wouldn’t have turned your humanity back on.”

“True,” he nodded. “I um… I want to try the control training thing. Now that I have my humanity back on and stuff.”

Your face lit up in excitement and surprise. “Really?”        

“Yeah,” he smiled. “Wow, okay. Yeah, we can do that,” you smiled.

“Good,” he said. He grinned at you, taking your hands in his. “So,” he started, looking at you flirtatiously. “You love me, huh?”

You rolled your eyes in embarrassment, “Yeah, so?”

“Hey, don’t get all shy on me now,” he teased. 

You giggled, “Well, you also love me.” “Well, of course I do,” he shrugged shamelessly. 

You smiled from ear-to-ear, joy filling your heart. “Why don’t we get you into a shower and some food, yeah?”

“Only if you join me,” he winked. 

————

this is trash lol sorry 

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[kuh-boose]

While I’m on a rant. Lobdell needs to learn that connecting every little thing is not good story telling. Things are allowed to just happen and be random. Things are allowed to be normal and small scale and not massive, confusing, mystical events, and still be important. Good writing makes small, relatively normal events still feel important. Jason’s death was relatively small scale and normal for Gotham, it was the writing and the connection built to the character that made it hurt--gave it impact. Jason was an interesting character because he had a clear and relatable motivation. He was a person, he was hurt, he acted on that hurt. Comic book writers in general need to learn to write with either character arcs in mind, or just a general consistent plot with an overall goal (or both, I do like characters and plot). Mangas do a just fine job having arcs that have a start and end. 

 And things can be left in the past. Jason’s parents can be dead. They can be bad or useless people/parents and still be loved by Jason. It doesn’t have to be complicated and I don’t need to keep hearing about them. I’m not impressed or astounded that there’s some twist with his dad and Ma Gunn, I’m just annoyed that you couldn’t stop rehashing his origin and write him in an actually comprehendible story that doesn’t take me ten minutes every new issue to figure out wtf is going on and why he’s there. Legitimately, I am not sure what is going on almost every time I start an issue. And I generally don’t have a much better idea by the end of said issue. Stop. Jumping. Around. please, i’m so tired

There’s stuff I like with RHATO, obviously. But there’s so much that is just frustrating. Hundreds of fans working together write him more consistently and comprehensively than one guy manages to. They make him an actual person. And I KNOW Lobdell can do it. He managed it for like the first... dozen? chapters of Rebirth. And then it’s like he couldn’t help himself and had to make it progressively more stupid and overly complicated.

And who is hiring these artists? Jesus christ, just hire fan artists at this point, since half of DCs artists are drawing arms that look like braids and women that look like a laffy taffy with boobs. Don’t even get me started on faces. (Dexter, you can ignore this part, I love you. Jason walking through smoke in his classic outfit. *chefs kiss* the motorcycle??? yes. so much yes....omg side note since this is just a messy rant anyways, but like go look at Nick Robles art of Jason. I’d give that man my right kidney to draw a full series of him. the writing can be bad, idc, I just want female-gaze!Jason.)

Look, what I’m saying is being a Jason Todd/Red Hood fan is hard and the fans are the only reason I have been able to stay so in love with the character. Especially since, in canon, at this point he’s practically a ‘choose your own adventure’ book. Though really, that seems to just be comic books in general at this point. I’ve found Manga and whatnot to be far better at delivering comprehensive and clean stories with plots and character arcs you can follow, but I think that’s mostly because they’re contained within themselves and generally written by just a small team of people. 

[bjy-on-ao3]

Hi, I really love your writing on Ao3! I was wondering if you could write an Adachi x reader where Adachi slips it in while reader is sleeping? Maybe halfway through being fucked reader wakes up but pretends to be asleep anyway because they are enjoying it? I imagine that they'd probably already have a preexisting sexual relationship and have talked about the sex that they are okay with (that could be a creative choice for you tho idc. manipulative adachi sexy). best wishes!

(As usual, you can find the AO3 version of all my uploads [and some things I don’t post here to tumblr] via my Masterlist blog page)

Here you are, anon! This one really struck a cord with me, and I knew I had to fill it, eventually.

Summary 

Adachi gives Reader a pleasant morning surprise to indulge a desire they previously confessed to him.

Tags/Warnings

Biting, Creampie, Dirty Talk, Hair-Pulling, Mildly Dubious Consent, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Somnophilia, Vaginal Sex

Rise & Shine (F! Reader/Tohru Adachi)

The early rays of morning scattered through the window blinds, bathing the otherwise dark bedroom in pale stripes of yellow and gold. The cloying spring heat had yet to creep in, some remnant of the coolness of night lingering, lending a refreshing feeling, rather than one hot and clinging. Tohru Adachi stirred on the bedsheets of the mattress next to the mostly shuttered window.

He started to disentangle himself lazily from the light sheets, but stopped. A look of confusion spread across his face when he noted sitting up wasn’t as easy as it should have been, the cause your prone form tucked so securely against him. He remembered falling asleep at your apartment after some drinks at Shiroku and a couple rounds of fun, but you had fallen asleep with ample distance between you. Adachi decided you must have unconsciously snugged up to him while the both of you slept.

Though he was confused, that didn’t mean Adachi wasn’t exactly displeased. Neither of you had bothered to re-dress at all before passing out the night before. That left you naked, pressed against him, at least before he tried to extricate himself from your grasp. His eyes roved unchastely over your bare skin, exposed where the sheets rode down past your hips. Lying flat on your stomach after he had escaped your cuddling, your arms splayed on the pillows, legs spread haphazardly. He eyed the swell of your chest pressing into the soft mattress and the tantalizing curve of your ass, his gaze lingering as his hunger was roused.

In that moment, Adachi recalled a conversation that had taken place between the two of you not long ago. You had opened up to him a little with your fantasies and wants, admitting with a thoroughly hot face and hushed tone how badly you wanted him to use you. You hadn’t described exactly how, though, only that your desire for him to use your body however he pleased existed. He remembered how excited the confession had made him, immediately diving into imaginations of how he planned to take you up on it. Somehow, though, the thought had slipped his mind until that instant.

The gears were turning in his head, and Adachi’s lips curled in a sinful, lecherous grin as he came to a decision. What better way to grant your wishes and use you only for his pleasure than to fuck you while you slept, when he had little reason to worry about your satisfaction or concerns. His cock jerked to life at the thought, and his mind was made up.

He drew the sheets the rest of the way off, flinging them to the side where they would remain unwanted and forgotten for some time. The full sight of your body laid out nude before him met him, and another punch of hunger seized him, his reacting in along with it. For a second, Adachi wondered if you would even notice. He couldn’t remember if you were a light sleeper who woke at even a hardly intrusive touch, or if you slept like the dead and would drowse through it all. But he was going to find out very soon. =============================================

It was the touch of something solid and cool between your legs that eased you from the warm, comfortable haze of sleep. It prodded at the soft pink of your cunt before slipping inside with little resistance. At first, you thought you were having some kind of vivid wet dream, but you recognized the strange dark line of half-consciousness, so it was no dream. Something had buried itself inside your cunt, wet and welcoming even while you dozed. The sensation of whatever it was wriggled and curled, easing in and out for a moment before withdrawing altogether.

The thick fog of sleep threatened to lure you back into its clutches with the retreat of whatever had been intruding; you had nearly convinced yourself even if it wasn’t a dream, you had  imagined it. Just a figment of your muddled, half-asleep mind. But whatever it was returned, clamping over your thighs and carefully prying them apart to spread your legs wider. The tip of something far more hot and hard poked at your slick lips, the sensation giving your growing consciousness a jolt. You froze, making yourself remain still despite coming further to, and the thick intrusion sank past your lips and your entrance.

A low, blissful groan caught your attention when the hardness filled you completely, and your cunt clenched reflexively around it. Several debauched noises longed to free themselves from your throat at the aching fullness, but you quashed them, forcing yourself to feign sleep. The groan no doubt belonged to the man you had fallen asleep beside the night before, there was no denying that. You were led to a conclusion even your hazy mind could make: Adachi was the one buried deep inside your cunt, basking in the tight embrace of your soft, wet flesh around his cock.

The realization didn’t alarm or upset you, though. In fact, it only made your cunt feel wetter, and your walls tightened around him again, eliciting another erotic, gravelly noise from Adachi, A wicked heat blossomed in your gut and made your heart drum in your chest, your pulse beginning to race. It almost embarrassed you how much being fucked while you ‘slept’ turned you on, and you wondered fleetingly if he noticed how readily your body responded to him. Would he think nothing of it and just assume you were still dreaming and none the wiser?

Any thoughts were drowned out, though, when Adachi’s hips pulled back and he thrust back into your heat, the start of a steady rhythm. He rocked his hips languidly against your backside, obviously in no rush. A series of small, carnal, and oh-so-arousing sounds drifted from his lips as he pumped his cock in and out of your core. Sounds quiet enough that if you had really been asleep, you doubted you would have noticed at all. You struggled not to react too noticeably to them or from the roll of his hips. But you couldn’t help squirming here and there, a muffled, sleepy whimper escaping every once in a while. You hoped Adachi chalked them up to simply unconscious and involuntary reactions.

Whatever the case, your wriggling and tiny, nearly incoherent gasps and murmurs spurred Adachi onward, and his pace increased, fucking you more thoroughly into the bed. Each deep thrust made you want to swoon and melt and moan. The weight of Adachi’s body pressed into your back, his skin already growing slick with beads of sweat, radiating heat against you.

“Y’know,” he growled casually in your ear, “you’re a really bad actor.” His pace didn’t stop, and he his came to tangle in the sheets beside your shoulders, giving him more leverage to pound into your cunt more roughly.

You ignored him, unsure if he knew you were awake and was telling the truth, of if he was searching for some kind of conscious reaction to find out. Things were too enjoyable though to let them end so easily. Until Adachi could prove you were awake, you were more than pleased to let him have his way with you.

A moment of silence punctuated only by the sounds of sex passed, and then a low, contemplative hum droned beside you. “Well, I guess if you’re really sleeping through this, I can do whatever I want,” he said coyly, and to some it might have sounded almost like a threat. Right then, to you, it was a sinful promise you silently bade him to fulfill.

His hips snapped harder against you, and it was even more of a struggle to fight back the noises that wanted to break free, each thrust so deep it provoked a guttural response. He adjusted himself, tilting his hips and pressing his body more firmly against yours. You didn’t know if it was out of mere convenience for him, or on purpose to overwhelm you and shatter your charade, but the new angle brought on a greater ordeal.

Each rough stroke of his cock, besides sinking so deep, brushed against a much more receptive spot that made your gut twist in a distinctly pleasant way. You tried to disguise the way you turned your head to push it into the pillows as an unconscious reaction, though you unsure how long Adachi would continue to buy your act, if he didn’t already know the truth.

Each time he drove back inside, you lost more resolve to keep pretending, and to disguise and smother your moans and the way your body so badly wanted to meet his thrusts. The molten feeling that had grown in your belly served only to weaken you further, welling up inside and proving more demanding and wild than the sounds of pleasure seeking escape.l

You pressed your face into the pillows more as a particularly stubborn moan bubbled up, much louder than any of the others, trying in vain to stifle it. Though as soon as the sound left your lips, smothered as it was, your little game of pretend was over. A rough hand tangled in your hair, grabbing tightly and jerking your head back and away from the pillows. Your new position left you no choice but to moan freely into the air, already hot and thick with sex and sweat. The stubborn moan seemed like the bursting of a dam, and there was no stopping the myriad cries that followed it.

“Are you enjoying yourself, sweetheart?” Adachi hissed in your ear, amused and breathless. “Pretending you had no idea what I was doing and getting off on being treated like the little cock sleeve you wanted to be?”

With your act revealed, you had no reason to try to fool Adachi any longer. You gave into the carnal heat swelling inside you, crying out and finally slamming your hips back to meet his. “Fuck, yes! Use me, please,” you begged, and Adachi’s stinging grip in your hair tightened reflexively. “I want to be your plaything; use me however you want!” your voice broke with your admission, shattered by a stroke that stole your breath away and made your made briefly go blank.

The words were a catalyst, stoking Adachi’s already boiling lust to even greater heights. He rutted harder against you, feeling the urgency of an orgasm dawning on him, your shameless enthusiasm speeding it along. He relished the outpouring of bawdy shouts and moans bubbling from your mouth now that he had called your bluff. His fingered remained snared in your hair, pulling your head back almost painfully and ensuring there was no chance to muffle a single sound more.

You could feel Adachi’s desperation mounting behind each thrust, even through the lingering haze of sleep clouding your awareness. You felt it in the tension of his body, pushing yours so forcefully into the bed, and in his fingers, both in your hair and on your skin. But you were already ahead of him. The sheer excitement of being fucked in such an obscene fashion made your body tense and burn white hot. Each time Adachi filled you up again, it forced another cry from your lips, and the liquid heat wound tighter and more intense.

Your breathing hitched, becoming quickly ragged and sharp, and Adachi’s was just as labored in your ear. You bucked back against him mindlessly, seeking the last little push you needed and thinking of nothing else. When you came, his named rolled off your tongue in waves, interrupted by moans that pitched more desperate and airy as he fucked you through your orgasm.

He bent his head, and his teeth scraped the nape of your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he could find to leave a colorful, stinging mark. The sharp sensations added to the ripples of pleasure dancing through you, and your voice cracked in your ecstasy. His tempo slowed, gaining force where it lost momentum, until the smack of his skin on yours was clear even through the chorus of groans and cries ringing out. When he finished, he bit down again, harder, so hard a moan turned into a brief yelp, even though he hadn’t broken the skin.

With each spurt of his cum that filled you, Adachi groaned, long and low, the noise feral and thick. The sounds made you shudder, and your cunt squeeze him tighter, even though your orgasm was wearing away and coming to an end. Finally, Adachi was spent, and you were left sweat-slicked and nearly panting, his grasp on your hair loosening. You couldn’t think beyond the feel of him still sheathed in your cunt, or the sound of his heavy breathing beside you. Even smothered beneath his weight, your mind had room only for the pleasures of the afterglow.

You rested limp and pliant against the bedsheets as Adachi released your hair, and when you lay your head on the pillows again, they felt blissfully cool. You were too tired and out-of-sorts to move when Adachi withdrew, vaguely noting the sensation of something warm and thick trickling down your thighs.Adachi didn’t bother laying back in bed, instead rolling to the side and getting to his feet. You summoned the energy to roll over and watch him as he went about getting cleaned up before searching for his clothes and re-dressing.

After several minutes, Adachi had sorted himself out and made himself presentable - or at least what counted as presentable for detective with his routinely messy hair, crumpled clothes, and crooked tie. By then, you had regained steady breathing, watching him lazily and propping yourself up on your elbow. He took one last glance over himself, patting the pockets of his slacks for his phone and keys and ensuring he hadn’t forgotten anything, Satisfied everything was accounted for, he walked to the beside, bending down and taking your chin between his thumb and forefinger before tipping your head to meet his gaze.

“I’ve gotta get going now, sweetheart. Be good while I’m gone and maybe I’ll indulge more of your sick little fantasies the next time I come over,” he promised, punctuating his words with a kiss. It was a gesture that might have seemed sweet or affectionate, were it not for the sharp, hungry bite he left on your bottom lip.

Then, he was gone without another word, leaving you with a burning face, an aching cunt oozing cum, and many angry marks that would soon turn various shades of blue and purple. Yet, you were left also with a bone-deep sense of satisfaction that outweighed everything else. You slid back down onto the bed, recounting what had just happened. Even just the memory sent your arousing spiralling out of control all over again.

It was going to be torture waiting for the next time you could get together.

[azucanela]

being sokka’s s/o would include hcs?

BEING SOKKA’S S/O HEADCANNONS [GENDER NEUTRAL!READER]

being zuko’s s/o headcannons | being korra’s s/o headcannons

SUMMARY: being sokka’s s/o from the confession to the marriage

WORD COUNT: 2.3k

WARNINGS: mild lok spoiler, fluff, kissing, do these count as warnings, yeah this is pretty pg man, blood, stab wound, sokka being sokka

A/N: im sick and dying h e l p, but also interact with me im lonely, become and elusive anon idc <3 also wow i have 500 followers??? idk why you all followed me?? but thanks?? hi??

getting into the relationship

oh god 

i see him with a friends to lovers thing where he either flirts with you from the moment he meets you or progressively begins to fall for you and is far to flustered to flirt because woah there why are you so beautiful

if its the former, then he’s probably gonna be ‘joking’ for the most part and you know this, so you two are just playfully flirting all the time until one day he realizes that he wants this to be REAL and panics 

when you flirt the first time he’s flustered, because he’s really just not used to the same level of forwardness that he has himself, but after a while Sokka is gonna get used to it and he’ll just roll with it

but when he realizes he wants more? he’s gonna be flustered all over again, and he’s probably gonna flirt with you signifigantly less, which is gonna cause you to confront him, much to his dismay, because oh no he’s alone with you-

“oh! haha.. hey y/n. yeah i need to go sharpen my boomerang-”

“sokka that’s not something you can do.”

when you confront him, he’s probably gonna be honest with you and tell you how he feels because he really cares for you and just wants you to calm down because no he does n o t hate you

“do you hate me or something now?”

“uh.. it’s the opposite actually you see-”

if its the latter, he’s gonna go from really calm and chill around you, because of the friendly vibes and such like cracking jokes and such, to a complete and utter mess

you two are really close as friends and that isn’t something he wants to mess up but he’s definitely gonna confess at some point because he’s not one to bottle his emotions up and hates how weird things are between the two of you now that he’s realized he likes you

in general i see sokka as a mess around whoever he likes, until he comes to terms with the fact that he likes them, and this likely won’t take long, he’s pretty in tune with his emotions

he’s not gonna wanna ask you out at first, in all honesty, i see sokka’s whole confidence thing as a facade, because in actuality he has really low self esteem and genuinely sees himself as the “extra” member of team avatar because he lacks bending and everyone around him is so talented that he sometimes forgets he is literally super smart and makes all the plans that save their lives on the daily

just things you are too good for him, especially if you are a bender

if you start hinting that you like him too, he is initially gonna think it is a joke until you start getting bold and then it’s gonna hit him like everyone hits the cabbage man’s cart

i can see either of you confessing first, if Sokka does, he’s probably gonna be really bashful and flustered about it, but he’s also gonna try and act cool because thats like his trademark

if you confess first, he’s gonna be in shock temporarily, but then he’s gonna jump right into things because you like him BACK omgomgomgomg 

he’s gonna wanna kiss you right after the confession, and it’ll probably backfire because he got really excited and ended up headbutting you and now you have a bruise forming on your head and a very apologetic sokka oops

in general, quickly recognizes his feelings and confesses shortly after, because he just hates the weird tension even if he thinks he’s the only one feeling it, even though hes NOT

during the relationship

so

a really attentive boyfriend, you will never feel neglected, he’s a very clingy person who gets intimate with you all the time, so if you like affection you got it

kissing him is nice, he’s good at it 10/10 recommend, always wants to hold you as close as possible, prefers a hand on your hip/lowerback and another on your face or neck to pull you closer

if you don’t like affection, he’ll express his love in other ways

for example, cooking, i see sokka as someone who can either cook REALLY well, or not at all. there is no in between. 

genuinely just really wants to make you happy

the type to bully you if you’re in a relationship, pls bully him back, humble this man. he’s gonna roast you but he doesn’t really mean it okay, he’s just doesn’t want things to change between you

loves that his best friend is his lover, would not want it any other way

probably forgets to tell the gaang you are dating and like aang and toph are gonna catch you two kissing or smth and sokka’s just gonna be like oh hey guys and they are both like ???

"when did this happen?”

“wym lol”

if you two are together during the war, he’s gonna wanna be by your side like 24/7 because he does not want you to die, like this lowkey stresses him so much that he will subconsciously, when developing battle plans either put you in the safest possible spot or by his side, and its because he has literally lost so many people he’s care for and now he’s distressed

remind him that he matters and is important to the team, because he forget that sometimes and falls into a mood, where he’s all sad and stuff and it just makes you sad so like

tell him he matters, because he does, tell him he’s great even if he can’t bend, and tell him he is a fantastic and brilliant leader, this will serve as an ego boost though so be prepared to humble him

steal his hair ties and do all of us a favor okay, just steal them, burn them because no littering, just make sure he cannot find them! he will walk around with his hair down in confusion, searching for them before he starts the day

speaking of starting the day, you always wake up first, this man is not a morning person and needs his beauty sleep, definitely have a 17 step skin care routine, change my mind, he is big on self care and will make sure you participate with him because he cares about you

speaking of care he knows you so well since you are his s/o so if he notices something is up he will not hesitate to confront you, and will ask if you want solutions or just someone to listen to

prefers solving the problem though

back to mornings, um have fun waking up to sokka with his hair down that sounds HEAVENLY um

mild lok spoilers but sokka ends up chief, and gets involved in politics over time, so he kinda runs out of time for you a bit until he figures out how to organize his time better, then he gets kinda sad, but he still wants to take you out on dates as often as possible ok no more spoilers

so speaking of dates, sokka wants weekly dates, this is a must, does not care if it is a fancy restaurant, cooking at home, or a picnic. he loves picnics most though, and please notice how food is the common factor here

sokka would never cheat on you but if he did he would cheat with food

arguments aren’t rare, but they are mostly over dumb stuff and you both know its dumb stuff so for the most part its a joke, but sometimes someone takes things too far so then apologies are necessary

like actual argument arguments are mostly rare because sokka doesn’t wanna pick fights with you and he’s fairly passive unless he feels really strongly about something

he can be REALLY MEAN THOUGH AND PETTY like wow sokka will go days without talking to you because of a fight

he can and will apologize first when he realizes the toll its taking on your relationship, probably will apologize first

if you catch him being a misogynist put him in his place :)

 he thinks you are hot when you are angry and might pick a fight with you just for that reason, pls make out with him

marriage n’ stuff

im still waiting for someone to explain what weddings are like guys please

anyways he’s gonna realize he wants to marry you when he nearly dies and is like wow life is really short also lets discuss him losing all the important people he’s loved in his life one more time, he does not want to lose you!!!

ever!!!

so he’s gonna nearly die and then be like i need to propose, like now, i cannot die without being married to the literal love of my life so i should do that literally the moment i get home instead of getting medical attention first

yeah he is the smart one, but he lacks common sense, so i hope you got a LOT of common sense. y’all do be sharing a braincell

stops by a ring shop place, and the moment he just feels like he saw the one, price does NOT matter he has purchased it and is now heading home to you

you on the other hand are PANICKING because what do you mean sokka just ran out of the hospital with no explanation and is nowhere to be found katara

what do you mean you thought he would be h e r e

yes katara went over to your house to see if sokka was there and he is not!!!

yet ;)

there is like a manhunt for sokka and he has yet to notice because mans has tunnel vision and as he opens the door to your shared apartment he does not expect to see a crying katara and oh no-

“SOKKA! YOU’RE NOT DEAD?!”

hes like of course im not dead what the hell

you’re seated standing next to Katara trying to console her when you see sokka and wow you are relieved to see he is not dead or kidnapped

“SOKKA DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW WORRIED I WAS-”

lol he’s kissing you to shut you up how cute, now leave katara you are infringing on an extremely pivotal moment of this relationship

honestly seeing you comforting his sister just makes him love you more and he kinda just wants to marry you 10x more now 

you pull away from the kiss looking at him like what are you doing, and katara is like, “Sokka where the hell were you??? you have a stab wound???” and now you’re like WOAHWOAHWOAHWOAHWOAH

“stabbed? sokka you need medical attention-”

“to answer your question dear sister, i was getting a ring for your hopefully soon to be sister in law.”

“EXCUSE ME?” you are so confused, katara is confused and is now realizing that she was probably not supposed to be here

sokka is already dropping down onto one knee and pulling out the just bought ring as saying, “marry me!” now he’s high on adrenaline and pain has yet to hit him and he’s kinda just sitting there beaming up at you despite the blood seeping out of him at a rapid rate

“im sorry what?” thats katara girl be quiet they are trying to have a MOMENT

anyways you’re like, “sokka. hospital.”

and he’s like, “answer me first” and he’s giving you a weak lil smile as he realizes how stupid he was and he’s about to stand back up but you put a hand on his shoulder and just nod.

now he’s back to beaming so brightly, and he’s putting the ring on your finger and oh no- he’s passed out. is it from excitement or bloodloss? idk

he also might pass out before hearing you answer and then at the hospital you’re kinda sitting there like, “ARE YOU DUMB STUPID OR DUMB. YOU COULD HAVE DIED.”

and he’s like, “not without hearing your answer” <3<3 heart eyes emojis everywhere

alternatively, he is one of few people i could see having a public proposal, with lots of flowers, a band, fireworks, the whole nine yards

he’s gonna want it flashy

something probably goes wrong and he nearly cries but you say yes anyways and he throws a party after

anyways the actual wedding is preferably public, but if you want a more private one then he does what you want because he loves you most

he is gonna be very active in wedding planning, wants to try the foods and desserts and appetizers and everything especially. wants to do the weird stuff like picking napkins with you and flower arrangements and all that stuff i think this happens idk someone please inform me

this stuff just makes him fall in love with you more tbh, and he’s just so so sure he wants to marry you 

his vows will make HIM cry, like he is going to cry when he sees you walk down the aisle, he’s going to cry when he reads his own vows, and he’s going to cry when you read your vows, it doesn’t matter if they are lowkey bad

makes jokes in his vows because he is a nerd but can barely reach the punchline because he is in tears

fr though he is just so happy to be marrying you and wow you look REALLY GOOD in whatever you are wearing um damn okay you really went off

married life with sokka is elite ngl, mans cooks for you, he probably cleans sometimes, but otherwise chores are fairly divided 

he spoils you

overall sokka is a real great s/o and he gives you everything you deserve and yeah marry sokka 2020 everyone deserves a sokka 

taglists[lmk if you wanna be added or removed via askbox or replies]

atla:  @bubblebars @jada-cleo @Art-flirt @the-deli-meat @wemissyou3000 @ajediherowitchrunner 

sokka: @iammello

[organic-guacamole]

showtime

episode 211 let's go

ok first of all, this is the second to last episode guys... I don't even wanna think about how much pain I'll be in after next week's episode

mr mazzara doing the recap-

this is so weird to me and I don't know why

WHY DIDN'T YALL JUST ASK BENJAMIN FOR HELP, THATS LITERALLY HIS THING

is Nini giving out the cards a callback to season 1 when Natalie Bagley said that Nini gave her a card or something on opening night of another musical?

STEPHY AS THE ENCHANTRESS OMG YES

Ricky in the crown gives me Harry styles in that photoshoot vibes

he's so pretty.

ok but why did we never see Ricky and Ashlyn interact before? it's been like 5 seconds and I already love how they bounce off each other and it's just so natural

OH THEY REALLY DON'T HAVE ANY UNDERSTUDIES-

well that explains a lot...

so Ricky fell on top of Ashlyn and all that broke for both of them was their wrist-

insert Jake Peralta *coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool no doubt no doubt no doubt*

of course howie was amazing as the beast, were we expecting anything less??

Ricky is so beautiful and I will not shut up about it....

let me enjoy this before the makeup crew slaps mud on his face.

Nini and Ricky talking to eachother? in a civil manner? wasn't she avoiding him just in the last episode? hm ok

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THEY CANT EXPRESS THEIR FEELINGS JUST LIKE ME HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HILARIOUS, WHATS NEXT? THEY CUT EVERYONE OFF CUZ THEY CANT HANDLE EMOTIONS? ...ha

yes Kaden and Rico, my favourite east high boys 🥰

I mean....where's EJ?

THERE HE IS

EJ AND GINA IN THE BACKGROUND... doing something idek

KOURTNEY'S MOM IS BACK YAY

Howie is a shining star, ofc ofc

the smallest fOrk

can't wait to see the fork burst into song about how she deserves more than to be used to eat salad😌

the duster and the bluster.... ok😃

hi Gina!

hi- oh wow I didn't know Robbie Rotten was in this show!!!!!

the portwell look.

that my friends, is a married couple's look✋

GOSH EJ WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU

aww Gina's so excited for this

D word?

Die?

Delicious?

Dom Toretto?

"good, clean fun all alone with someone I dig...a lot"

sir that does not sound very clean to me

SEBLOS

Seb looks so cute standing there next to pope Carlos

DID THEYEY REALLY LIGHT ANTOINE ON FIRE-

I NEED TO SEE THAT

Seb's reading Carlos better than big red read the script in episode 102, this is great development after the "fight"

Kourtney really just made the best outfit for herself and let the rest of them suffer

the way Gina immediately goes to hold on to EJ after the announcement

"tonight we're going to put the U in UTAH"

...

"hey where are you from?"

"TAH"

SEB'S SINGULAR CLAP KILLED ME-

he's officially salt lake city's resident thanos

just wity clapping because for some reason I have a feeling he doesn't know how to snap his fingers...don't ask why

Ms Jenn do you mind encouraging your leads before the show? idk just an idea

pepto bismol product placement smhsmh

those flowers are bigger that big red himself-

*bops along to the opening theme*

that whistle at the end slaps everytime

WHY IS THE AUDIENCE SO MASSIVE

I guess they're all here to see Ms Jenn go on as a fork after Nini decides to *go her own way*

wow i am so funny

so they couldn't do many group scenes cuz of covid, but this 300 person crowd is cool? nice

OO THE VIOLIN GIRL FROM EPISODE 6 IS IN THE ORCHESTRA

HOWIEEEEEE

"Mr Caswell", he said, in the loudest voice possible while backstage at a show that's about to start.

Mazzara what are you trying to pull-

I usually like Benjamin but I don't like his tone

"iS yOuR wHoLe FaMiLy HeRe?" LIKE YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW THATS A SOFT SPOT FOR EJ

"we've had some good conversations these past few weeks"

right so what's going to happen after you graduate?

what does he think of you not going to Duke?

what did he say about you giving the sweatshirt that's been in the family for 3 generations to a girl you're not even dating?

good old Mr. M

therapist Mr. Mazzara, they all need it.

start with Ricky though.

"Michael Bowen"

dude why did you shave, now you look less like "hot lumberjack" and more "creep at the gas station"

OH-

does she not like Mike anymore?

why does it sound like jennzzara started dating and now they just sit back and talk smack about everyone in their freetime

break the fourth wall-

uhhhh im scared

why am I scared

he's scary

hehe flowers for Ricky, obviously for Ricky, ObViOuSLY

oh boy poor Michael

this man is in love, rip

why does Ms Jenn always look at people with her eyes open so wide

LILYYYY

I'm only excited because I really like the idea of lily and Ricky being friends, nothing more.

ha this guy's got jokes

a MOAT AROUND THE SCHOOL

wheeze

also he's very pretty.

"the wolves and very talented humans"

how dare he forget to mention the very talented wolves and normal humans, smh erasure

"being nice, what a concept" ted talk by Lily who still doesn't have a last name

did she just say lol out loud

same with the hug emoji last episode-

go touch some grass babes

the way he didn't say no, but said he didn't know how the east high kids would react-

not saying he does want to date her but that's an interesting thing to think about, also another thing to write an essay analysis on just to leave it in my drafts for a few months

awww lily genuinely trying to help him

sorry guys, I've been taken by the Lily charm (didn't know it existed until now but oh well)

REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I'LL NEVER SHIP PORTWELL?

just look at me now

the Lily wink I can't she's so cute-

HELP ME I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE BY LIL-

David Attenborough?

oh nvm it's Benjamin narrating the show in a really weird British accent for some reason.

STEPHY GOT MORE LINES YAY GOOD FOR HER

also is this to show that Nini doesn't care about being the star of the show anymore? the way she's supporting everyone else even though she's a fork?

I would pay for a special of the full musical ngl

OOO THE TRANSFORMATION WAS SMOOTH

shockingly

yo where did the makeup come from

man I wish I was a theatre kid

THIS IS STEPHY'S EPISODE NOW IDC✋

my girl is starring

"needs an X-factor"

Simon Cowbell creeps in

"it's a yes from me"

and them boom, he takes Nini and mistreats her horribly and then she comes back to theatre after deciding music isn't for her👍

"I thought she just hog-tied him?"

don't ask sebby, it's better if you don't know.

imagine they spotlight the wrong person and this dude is just some random person that likes writing down stuff during shows.

Ms Jenn just let them do what they rehearsed (at some point we never saw) or else this is gonna end horribly wrong

"help"

same Carlos, same

I love how seb is just his translator rn

I thought he said "great displeasure" instead of "greatest pleasure"....help?

big red coming out from throwing up to see his girlfriend star is the cutest thing in this show.

Ash and Gina dancing is so fun

I'm imagining them practicing at night at their home, watching the movie for the 100th time and making sure their one dance together is perfect

KOURTNEY YES

HOWIE IS IN LOVE AHHHH

I LOVE HOWIE SO MUCH

SEBBY

THIS SCENE HAS SO MUCH GOING ON I CAN'T KEEP UP

THIS IS SO GOOD

HOW???

no because I'm actually crying

I'm dead serious.

we need this musical released as a special

big red is so proud and I love to see it

Natalie: "if you do not by at least 20 dollars in concessions, you do not support art"

rando in the audience: "but I pay for ad free Spotify"

Mr Mazzara clapping in the distance

Gigi, the guy you like is talking to you, complimenting you and hyping you up

YOU LUCKY LITTLE FEATHER DUSTER

aw EJ teasing her about the chocolates in a way that doesn't make her feel bad? take notes Richard

JORDAN FISHER

there is no rest of the show idc Jordan is it for me

THE WIG CAP ON RICKY OMG

they look like they're high and having "deep" conversations on the floor

THE MEAN GIRL WITH THE EYES-

@sunshine-julie-molina YOU HEAR THAT

Natalie really just be coming for them all

Howie what is happening rn

I'm scared

"did you enjoy it"

"very much"

dude wants a kiss so bad

ASHLYN OMG

NO DON'T DO IT BECAUSE OF LILY, PUT YOUR OWN TWIST ON IT

I want a Jordan autograph please

just keep swim- oh pushing...

Gina is literally a giant next to him and I live for it

am I about to cry for the 3rd time in this episode?

yes.

Ricky's leg kicks under the table makes me so happy aw

the portwell glances will kill me.

ah yes, mashed potato snow

Mr. M.... I'm not a theatre kid but even I know you can't have your phone on backstage.

Howie please just do it

CHIP'S BIG LINE I CANT

I LITERALLY HAD TO PAUSE IT AMD SCREAM INTO MY MASK FOR A SOLID 2 MINUTES (I'm not at home rn) HES SO CUTE

oh ok bye Jordan

oo tea

NOT HIM BEING STARSTRUCK BECAUSE HE'S MEETING HIS FUTURE BROTHER IN LAW-

"we're all just glad Gigi has a big brother figure in her life"

excuse me for a few thousand hours while I laugh hysterically

THE CAMERA ZOOM ON EJS FACE AND EVERYTHING-

STOP EJ LOOKS LIKE HE'S GONNA CRY BUT I CAN'T TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY WITH THE STAGE MAKE-UP

someone else said this already but I think it's hilarious that they had to bring in 2 guest characters to create some portwell angst

omg this really is Cici's episode, found family is their thing

elevator music lol

I'm gonna bet that big red took the harness for his surprise for Ashlyn without realising what it was

did Ms. Jenn just....tell her most mentally unstable student....to commit suicide....on a disney show...was that....I'm very....well....what the actual-

oh and there she goes running off instead of trying to make it right

oh wow Nini's the hero, she's gonna save the show 🤩

😐

the judge is doing a sudoku

honestly if I went to the hsm show as well, I'd come prepared for this one too

Lily why are you looking like that-

I WAS JUST STARTING TO LIKE YOU DON'T MESS THIS UP

wow ok, there goes that.

omg

what if Howie was acting weird because he knew what Lily did and wanted to tell Kourtbut Lily threatened him so he was scared to-

anyways see y'all clowns next week when we all simultaneously lose all motivation for the week without Fridays to look forward to.

[redgillan]

Under Pastel Skies - 3

Sugar daddy!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Modern!AU Bucky doesn’t need anyone, especially not a sugar baby. He isn’t that desperate… but she smiles so sweetly and she’s endearingly awkward, and he’s so lonely. She’s an artist, a painter, the type of person who always puts others before herself. Throwing caution to the wind Bucky offers her a place to live, a place where she can finally paint whatever her heart desires. He doesn’t need much in return; a friend, a muse.

Word Count: 2,587

Warnings: none

A/N: I wanted to give Reader a family and this is the easiest way to do it. Btw Peggy’s husband isn’t Steve, I have other plans for him ;) Enjoy!

Wannabe sugar daddies don’t interact, idc if you have money, eat it and leave me be.

The rest of the week went by, and you kept hoping Bucky would come back. You hadn’t seen him since he’d left 300 dollars under his napkin after visiting you at work. You had tucked the bills into your bra, knowing they would be safe there, and walked home at the end of your shift.

Now it was Thursday afternoon and you were craving a day off.

Natasha’s apartment was spacious and the oversized glass window bathed the living room in natural sunlight. The apartment was a gift from Sam. Obviously.

You dropped your purse on the sofa –your bed- and laid out the bills on the coffee table. It was made of marble and brass, another gift from Sam.

You didn’t know what to do with the money, so you took it wherever you went, to keep it safe. You wanted to return it to Bucky. It was too much and you weren’t used to random acts of kindness.

You sunk into the cushion and blew out a sigh as you stared at the money. The persistent vibration of your phone against your thigh pulled you out of your thoughts. Half expecting it to be Natasha, you answered without looking at the caller ID.

The operator told you that Scott Lang was calling from Saint Quentin State Prison, and asked if you would accept the charges. You agreed. You always agreed.

“Splotchy, I need your help.”

Closing your eyes, you let your head fall back against the cushion. “I told you to stop calling me that, Scott.”

It was a silly nickname.

As a child, your mother dubbed you splotchy because of the colourful doodles you painted on the living room walls, and your siblings, who were roughly a few years older than you, had loved using that nickname. Especially since they knew you disliked it.

Their support and endless enthusiasm played a big part in your artistic journey, nurturing that spark into a flame. What started out as a childlike fascination with colours and shapes became your whole life. No one was surprised when you decided to pursue a degree in fine arts.

After the death of her husband, Peggy Carter adopted five children; a little boy from San Francisco, a little girl from Wakanda, twins from Sokovia and a little girl whose birth parents were still in high school. You were the last one, the only one she adopted as a baby.

“Is it offensive to call an artist splotchy?”

“It’s irrelevant. I haven’t painted in months,” you replied. “And we’re not kids anymore, you can use my name.”

“I’ve been calling you Splotchy for so long, I forgot your actual name.”

“You’re so funny,” you deadpanned. “What do you need, Scott?”

Scott’s tone changed suddenly, his voice grew agitated. “I need you to call Maggie. She isn’t picking up when I call her.”

“Scott,” you sighed.

“I haven’t talked to Cassie since her birthday,” he cut you off, pleading. “Please, I just want to talk to my little girl.”

Maggie was Scott’s ex-wife. Six months after his incarceration, she had filed for divorce. Natasha thought it was a real dick move but you didn’t blame Maggie. She was alone, her husband was in jail –for basically being a dumbass although the official charge was embezzlement and destruction of property- and she had a kid to raise.

Maggie wasn’t a saint but she was a good mother, and Cassie was a smart and healthy kid. Now you knew what to do with Bucky’s money.

“I’ll call her,” you said. “Listen, I’m going to put 50 bucks on your book. Buy yourself a bar of soap, I can smell you from here.” Scott interrupted you with a monotone ‘har har’. You chuckled. “I’ll buy Cassie a Christmas gift on your behalf, all right? I think she wanted a bike.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you,” he chanted over the phone, his voice muffled as if he was holding the receiver too close to his mouth. “Are you sure you can afford it? I know it isn’t easy for you. Between living in New York and paying for mom’s nursing home, you don’t have to-”

“It’s fine,” you said, cutting off the conversation. “I’m not alone, Okoye helps.”

“And Wanda?”

“She sends postcards from time to time.”

The line went quiet for a moment. “I want to get out of here so bad,” Scott groaned. “Everything’s gone to shit since I went to jail.”

“Everything’s gone to shit since Pietro died, Scott.” You both remained silent, remembering your late brother. Just thinking about him made your eyes start to prickle with tears, so you cleared your throat and ended the call. “I’ll talk to Maggie. You’ll be out soon, just... stay out of trouble. Love you.”

You left your phone on the table and kicked off your shoes before you lay down on the sofa for a well-deserved nap. In your dreams your brothers weren’t either dead or in prison, your mother hadn’t been diagnosed with Alzheimer, and you weren’t a burden to your friend.

If you were lucky enough, you wouldn’t even dream at all.

The next day, Bucky arrived at the hotel at six thirty and you playfully glared at him from across the lounge. He wasn’t stupid, he knew why you were glaring at him. At least he had the decency to look a little sheepish.

“Just so you know, you bought yourself about 30 breakfasts,” you told him, referring to the far-too-generous tip he had left the other day.

“A man’s gotta eat,” he replied with a boyish cockiness that made him look stupidly attractive. You were too flustered to find a good comeback.

You brought him his cup of coffee and let him enjoy his breakfast while you attended to your other clients. It was an unusually busy day, the room was packed with families who were getting ready to explore Manhattan. You didn’t have time to chat with Bucky and he didn’t stay long. You saw him flinch a couple of times; the muscles in his shoulders pulled tight and his eyes darting left and right.

He left another ridiculously generous tip, along with a handwritten note. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day x.

Bucky came back the following week, and even though it was a quiet morning, you made sure to find him a table in a secluded spot. He didn’t notice when you slipped the 300 dollars into the pocket of his coat. You could be pretty sneaky, too.

“Mmmh,” he said, wiping his mouth with a napkin, “I looked at your Instagram.”

“Oh,” you glanced at your shoes, embarrassed. “Wait, you’re on Instagram? I have a hard time imagining you scrolling through your feed.”

He laughed a little. “I’ll admit I’m not as tech savvy as you youngsters, but I’m not a fossil. I use it to look at the pictures my sister post of my niblings.”

“Cute,” you grinned.

“Anyway,” he said, pushing a hand through his hair. “I love your work. It’s very unique; a cross between Impressionism and Post-impressionism. It’s realistic, and yet there’s something different...” his face scrunched up as he tried to look for the right word. “There’s something in your paintings, something that isn’t here in real life but perhaps should be. It’s hard to explain. It’s a feeling, a color, a pattern; it’s indiscernible but it’s there.” He looked up at you, his cheeks red with embarrassment. “I’m not making much sense, am I?”

You blinked, suddenly stunned that someone had such strong opinions about your work. There was nothing but sincerity in his ocean-blue eyes, and for a moment, you were at a loss for words.

“I, um-” you cleared your throat, “Thank you, I didn’t know that. I look up to Monet, obviously. His work is phenomenal, and I also have a soft spot for Van Gogh.” You ran a hand across your face. “Sorry, I’m a little emotional. The people who compliment my art are usually my siblings, and Nat.”

“And now me,” he said with a warm smile. “And soon a lot more people.”

Flustered, you bit your bottom lip. “That would be nice.”

Bucky nodded. He gathered his silverware and set them on his plate, trying to buy time. You watched him hesitate before he turned to you. “I noticed that your last post was from almost a year ago.”

“Yeah,” you said with a casual shrug. “I don’t really paint anymore. I’m too tired when I get home and supplies are expensive.”

“Of course,” he pursed his lips in thought. “Are you free this afternoon? I was wondering if we could meet for coffee.”

You tried not to show your surprise but his words made the sleeping butterflies in your stomach crack an eye open, their interest piqued.

Was he asking you out? He’d come to your workplace every week since your brief ‘date’. He always gave you more-than-generous tips, and he listened to you with a combination of close attention and warmth that made you weak at the knees.

He’d made it clear he wasn’t looking for anyone but maybe he had changed his mind. Agh, down girl! He just wanted a friend.

You looked into his beautiful eyes, seeing a myriad of expressions cross his face before he smiled at you.

“I ain’t gonna hurt you, angel.”

It was an honest lie, just hearing him call you angel felt like a punch to the stomach. The butterflies were dancing around, reborn, and chanting the word ‘date’.

“If you don’t like coffee, we can have tea, or ice cream,” he said, “anything as long as you can sit down with me.”

You snorted. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, smiling. “This is my number. Pick a place and I’ll meet you there.”

After breakfast, you closed the restaurant and started cleaning the Lounge. You brought everything back to the kitchen, stacked the dishes in the dishwasher and turned it on. Then you put away the unopened miniature jams, butter and whatnot, and gathered the remaining patisseries and fresh fruits in a basket that you would later bring to the reception.

You worked mechanically. It wasn’t exactly the most exciting job you’d ever had.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Bucky. It was easy to let your mind wander into the cosy and dangerous territory of this being a real date.

You decided to go to the Australian coffee shop near Natasha’s apartment. It was popular but not as crowded as Starbucks, which suited you fine.

After your shift, you removed your uniform and changed into the spare set of clothes you kept in your locker for emergencies. Emergencies being an impromptu date or a night out with Nat. You dug around in your purse for your lipstick; the nice one, the Carter Red as your mother called it.

You dabbed the lipstick on your lips, staining them. You only wore it on special occasions, and you weren’t sure Bucky deserved your full red pout.

You walked to the café with a little pep in your step and a confident smile on your face. The freezing temperature didn’t matter, you were too giddy to care. It was a date, it had to be, why else would he ask you to meet for coffee?  

You smiled when you saw him through the coffee shop window. He was chatting with the waiter as the latter set two mugs on the table.

“Hi again!” You shrugged out of your jacket and took a seat.

“I hope you like hot chocolate. Carl, here, says it’s their best seller,” Bucky said, smiling kindly at the waiter.

“Enjoy, and if you need anything else don’t hesitate to call me.”

You carefully wrapped your cold hands around your mug while you watched Carl walk away. A moment of silence rose between you. Bucky watched you with an unreadable expression, making you fidget in your seat.

“I’m glad you came,” he finally said.

“Me too. I’m a little surprised you asked.”

He looked down at his mug and smiled; it didn’t reach his eyes. “I have something to ask you.” He paused. “The night we met, you said you agreed to see me because being in a... financial relationship felt like the only solution to your problems.”

 Your smile faltered but he didn’t seem to notice. Oh. The butterflies in your stomach fell so suddenly that it felt like carrying a ball of lead. They went back into hibernation.  

“If I had been a decent person and, I don’t know, bought you a drink, talked to you,” he paused, meeting your eyes. “Would you have been interested in this type of relationship? With me, I mean.”

You swallowed hard. “You want to be my sugar daddy.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement. You were slowly realizing that you had been wrong about his intentions. This wasn’t a date, it was a business afternoon tea.

He winced. “Do we really have to call it that? I was thinking mentorship. I can provide financial help, and in exchange you could be my friend.”

“I can be your friend for free,” you said, your throat tightening.

He shrugged, a small smile on his lips. “This way we’ll both get something out of it.”

You looked down at your hands, still wrapped around the mug, and pursed your lips in thought. You felt a sharp tingling sensation in your nose, a sign that you were about to cry. You closed your eyes and clenched your jaw, fighting against the flood that was coming.

You pushed all the emotion down and forced a smile to your face. “Do you mind if I use the restroom? I just took the subway, I’d like to wash my hands.”

Bucky watched you, momentarily stunned by your request. “Of course, take your time,” he quickly recovered.

“Thanks,” you croaked, pushing your chair back.

You picked up your bag and walked to the restroom, your legs feeling like cotton wool. You didn’t need to use the restroom, you had walked to the café, but you needed a moment alone to collect yourself.

A woman came out of the restroom, holding the door open for you. You picked up the pace and thanked her before closing the door behind you. You looked pretty sickly under the artificial light of the restroom. Your eyes were glassy with tears and your red lips were taunting you.

“Got your hopes up, uh?” You watched your lips move. A little humourless chuckle escaped you and you shook your head at your own idiocy.

You aggressively wiped the lipstick off your mouth with the back of your hand and sighed deeply as you looked at your reflection in the mirror. Now you felt like an idiot.

It wasn’t Bucky’s fault. He had been nothing but nice and kind, and perhaps you had mistaken his kindness for flirting. A naïve mistake. You had always been a little clueless when it came to men.

You ran your index fingers under your eyes to get rid of the makeup that had gathered there. It wasn’t the end of the world, you barely knew him anyway. It didn’t hurt any less, though.

Maybe it was time for you to do something out of character, to experience life no matter how crazy it seemed. You were dreading this conversation with Bucky, but you couldn’t hide in the restroom forever. With another sigh, you pushed yourself away from the sink and walked out of the restroom.

Part 4

[wreckofawriter]

The Need For You

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Sirius' Daughter!reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none, swears?

Request (from my wattpad): Can you do something with Sirius Blacks daughter and Draco? Shes a Gryffindor also thank you sm I love ur work!!

A/n: Before you destroy me in the comments, ik that Sirius got killed by Bellatrix not Lucius but idc. It's for plot. Anyway hope you enjoy! Request are open!

    You had tried being nice, you really had. The first years when you were plunged into the wizarding world you had smiled and nodded taking abuse and ridicule from most of those at your school. It wasnt always direct, sometimes it was just the hatred and the whispers that you could feel from across the hall, you were disrespected, treated like you were less of a human than the rest. So you stopped being nice, in the third year instead of smiling you snarled, you stopped nodding when people told you you weren’t worth anything. You were done being spit on because of your last name. 

    Third-year was not a good one for you. Your last name was in all the papers, headlining the daily prophet. It was whispered in halls and spoken quietly between teachers. Sirius Black had escaped and now everyone was scared he was going to find you. People stopped talking to you. One of the girls locked you out of your dormitory, fearful your father would come looking for you. That was how you officially met Draco Malfoy. 

    You wandered the halls, not sure where you were even going. As you rounded a corner you locked eyes with the blonde boy who had his hands stuffed in the pockets of his robes. You figured he wouldn’t say anything as you passed but you were wrong. 

    “Why are you out of bed?” Draco sneered narrowing his eyes.

    “None of your business Malfoy.” You spat back shouldering past him and to your surprise he chuckled. 

    “It’s nice that you dropped the act you know.” You could feel his eyes on you as you paused. 

    You spun around, “What act?” 

    “The one you put on last year. It was a bit annoying, the whole nice girl thing.” He shrugged, “It’s good to see your true colors finally shining through.” 

    “Go fuck yourself.” you scoffed walking back down the hall.

    He only smirked and watched you leave.

    Draco was interesting. He was a dick, you knew that his dad was a rich asshole and he wasn’t any different. But much to your surprise he or anyone else from his possie for that matter ever messed with you. At first, you thought they feared your father, or even you but you began to suspect something else. Draco, Goyle, Crabbe, Parkinson, they had nothing to pick on you for. Their parents were killers too, it would be like a pot calling a kettle black. If you weren’t wearing red robes you may have even been friends with them, maybe. But something told you you could never look at Pansy without wanting to knock her teeth in. 

    Draco nodded to you in halls, occasionally smiled at you in classes and when moved next to you for being too loud in Transfiguration he was relatively pleasant, despite a few unpleasant comment here and there. He still irked you, he was whiny and weak, he hadn’t had to work a day in his life and you figured he never would, but the truth was he was your first actual friend. 

    Everything changed when suddenly Harry Potter, someone you had been desperately trying to avoid, pulled you aside and tell you what you thought was an elaborate prank. He then brought you to your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher who had told you it was all true.

    You were stunned, your father wasn’t a killer, he hadn’t betrayed his friends he hadn’t murdered anyone. He would be free, you would be free too. Free from glares and ridicule. All of that came crashing down when they explained that Peter Pettigrew, your only proof had gotten away. 

    You had been angry for a while. Everything you had been told your entire life, by your peers, your teachers, your mother, it was all a lie. And now only you and four others knew that. It was almost like some sort of cruel trick.  You got over it by the next year. You realized that while everyone still thought you were a killer’s daughter, you knew you weren’t and that was enough. 

    The Golden Trio befriended you. At first, it seemed forced, like they were acting, mocking friendship. But the awkwardness melted away and you found yourself with friends, ones you could laugh and talk with. It was nice, really nice. You were finally happy. 

On your fourteenth birthday you got a card from an owl you didn’t recognize. When you read the small note you almost cried. It was from your father. He told you he was sorry. He was sorry he wasn’t there for you, that he couldn’t properly meet you. He said he loved you and always would. 

Draco hated it. He hated when out of nowhere you were suddenly best friends with Harry Potter. It was sickening. Why did Harry Potter get everything he wanted? None of it was fair, you were supposed to be his. He was livid, he had made progress with you, you looked at him in the halls you had snorted at some of his jokes and now you were practically attached to his arch-enemy. So Draco did the natural thing. He hated you. He pushed you down and called you names. He belittled you and your father, he called you weak, stupid, pathetic. You snapped back. You always did, you weren’t like the others. 

You spat nasty nicknames back at him, you pulled him down with you. And that was the most interaction with you Draco ever got. He spent his fourth year in a swarm of jealousy and anger only making things a thousand times worse for himself. 

You didn’t think of Draco much, you missed his snarky comments and the banter you had with him but not a lot. His sudden torment of you made it easy to forget that he had once been nice. You got used to hating him, he made it so easy.

When you finally met your father it was strange, like someone had pointed at a stranger and told you that that person loves you more than anything else in the world and you were supposed to love them the same. You knew he was still your dad it was just all so weird. It seemed like he knew Harry far better than he knew you. It didn’t take you long to actually begin to care for the man. He was easy to talk to, despite the awkwardness of the entire situation there was never an uncomfortable silence. You were calling him Sirius for a while, maybe it was because you just didn’t want to call him dad or maybe it was because you were afraid too. Either way just as you were leaving to go back to school you called him it by mistake, he had engulfed you in a hug, and that was the first time in a long time you had cried. 

    Draco seemed off the entire year. He didn’t put nearly as much time into bullying as he usually did. He bounced around a lot, looking almost paranoid as if he knew something was coming that you didn’t. He joined Umbridges group of assholes and broke Harry’s nose but he didn’t even look at you, you were invisible to him. 

    But you weren’t invisible. Draco wasn’t sure what it was but when he lay his eyes on you in fifth year he had been completely enamored. He had liked you before, as much as he tried to deny that he had. But now it was like someone had turned a knob and he couldn’t even look at you without feeling an intolerable need. A need for you. So he did what he could, he ignored you completely, he would force his eyes away from you at meals, he threw himself into classes forgetting about the outside world. He didn’t speak to you until a few days before he was supposed to go home. 

   

    You couldn’t breathe. You felt like you were getting punched in the gut over and over again. You had just gotten him back. After 14 years you had finally hugged him and loved him. And now he was dead. 

    You were going to kill him, part of you really wanted to, it was what he deserved, what he would get. You found him late at night, your eyes were hot with tears as you approached him, your wand clutched so tightly in your had your knuckles were beginning to go white. 

    “Malfoy!” You shouted, there was no one around to hear. 

    He turned and to your surprise his own grey eyes were glassy, his face was streaked with tears, their trials shining silver in the delicate moonlight. He looked so incredibly broken at that moment your wand dropped back to your side. 

“I heard about your dad.” He croaked, “My dad did it right?” 

You stood silent tears dripping off your chin, your eyes narrowed, mouth curled in hurt. 

“I’m sorry y/n. I’m so sorry.” He spoke taking a few steps towards you. 

You raised your wand back up, it sat inches from his neck. You shook with sobs, your throat was closing up around nothing, your blood rushed in your ears. 

Draco didn’t flinch, he just stared down at you, you looked so pretty with tears in your eyes, they glinted like stars. Your cheeks were flushed a fragile shade of pink, they almost matched your lips. 

“I hate you.” You whispered and for a second you thought you were going to do it. But then the second passed and you dropped your arm back to your side spinning on your heel and walking back to your common room. 

Draco watched you leave, his own tears thick and sticky on his cheeks, those three words hurt more than any spell you could have cast. 

    You went back to scowling the following year. You were short with people, you glared more often than you laughed. Draco knew you were watching him, he knew you didn’t trust him, you knew he was up to something. 

    But the way you looked at him was off. It wasn’t the way Harry, Ron and Hermione did, it wasn’t full of the hatred you claimed to have. It was observant, keen, and almost soft. It was strange that Draco couldn’t quite place it. 

    “I don’t hate you.” You said suddenly to him one day on your way down to the greenhouse. It was hot out, the sound of birds and laughter around you. “I hate your father, but I don’t hate you.” 

    Draco just stared at you, your hair was glowing in the sunlight, your lips glistened with lip balm, you peered up at him expecting him to say something. 

    “I just thought you should know.” You finished before continuing down the slope. Draco stood frozen for a moment.

    “Wait!” 

    You stopped turning back to the boy as he took quickened steps towards you. “What?” you asked when he reached you.

    “I’m sorry y/n, about everything.” He said, “I really am.” 

    You paused biting your bottom lip, “I know.” you smiled softly.

   

    You nodded to Draco in the hallways again. You sat next to each other in Herbology and you talked quietly in the dead of night. Draco felt his affection towards you grow with each smile and look his way. You knew what was pierced into his skin but you never mentioned it, instead, you talked about meaningless things like quidditch games ad muggle music. Draco became your escape from the real world. He reminded you of when things were easy if they ever were. 

   

    It was late May. The crickets and frogs at the edge of the black lake were loud in your ears. You and Draco lay side by side in the dewy grass, your robes dampening as you stared up at the stars. It had been your idea, star gazing, you did it for the astronomy tower often but it was different out on the grass, it was better. 

    You felt Dracos hand twitch beside yours, his thumb brushing the top of your palm. Without thinking much you reached out and grabbed it, eyes still glued on the sky. 

    Draco felt his face heat at the feeling of your hand in his own, your skin was soft, it felt good to have your fingers intertwined with his own. He turned his head to look at you. The stars reflected in your eyes, your hair splayed around you as moonlight carved your face with delicate slopes and ridges. You were so incredibly gorgeous. 

    You felt his stare turning to meet his eyes. You stayed still for a second a soft wind rippling the grass around you. Your heartbeat droned in your ears, its beat slowly increasing as you stared into deep pools of icy grey. 

    Draco broke the silence his grip on your hand tightening, “I’m in love with you y/n.” 

    You didn’t move, you didn’t even look surprised, your eyes continued to flick around his face as if you were looking for something. You moved closer to him, your heartbeat so loud the sound of crickets drowned out behind it. You were inches form him when you finally spoke, your eyes trained on his, staring deep into his thoughts. “I know.” your voice was a whisper, breath fanning over his face. 

    Draco leaned forward, waiting for you to stop him but you didn’t. Your eyes slipped closed and you met slowly. Your lips were smooth and soft against Draco’s slightly chapped ones, your hands found their way to his hair as his wrapped around your neck pulling you close to him. The kiss was sweet and slow, he tasted minty and warm. Your tongue swiped his bottom lip and they parted allowing you to deepen the kiss as he tugged lightly on your hair. 

    You broke apart slowly, breath mingling as you stared into his eyes, “I need you Draco.” you mumbled pulling yourself into his embrace. 

Taglist:

@accio-rogers

@roslea

@k3nz-doodl3

@theseuscmander

@sleepingalaska

Masterlist

[soukokuwu]

↳ genre: angst

↳ characters: dad!chuuya, wife!reader, you guys have a child

↳ synopsis: a small look at how he handles himself in the aftermath of the catastrophe.

↳ warnings: implied death

↳ word count: 1,689

↳ requested by anonymous || Do whatever you want have s/o killed by one of Chuuya's enemies or die in childbirth idc which one you choose or how you do it JuSt maKe iT hURt

Chuuya sits in the living room, in the dim opalescence of the moon, picture perfect memories scattered on the coffee table before him. He takes a sip of shiraz as he carefully appraises the photo in his hand, thumb delicately grazing over the smile set on your face.

You were so beautiful.

No, not like those typically featured starving adolescents on countless magazines, covered in so many products they barely appear human. Not in that way. You were much more.

Your kind of beautiful was a smile so freely given, a sign of how tender your soul was. It was that spark in your eye — the one that showed him you were always up for an adventure. They held such an intelligence and serenity that he couldn’t help but be prisoner to them. Your kind of beautiful was a mind singularly practical and sagacious.

Your kind of beautiful... was who you were.

And the most precious beauty you graced him with in this life, he thinks, would be the faint memory of your voice muttering out an “I love you”, a phrase that rolled off your tongue so smoothly like birdsong, forever echoing in his heart.

He spends every night like this, as he has for the past twelve years. A nightly routine, brought about by a nameless sadness which is always born of moonlight. And each time, the colours of the day will fade into the black, and it gets dark with unutterable sorrows.

Your death haunts the recesses of his memory. What was supposed to be the happiest day of your lives turned into his worst nightmare. Chuuya can’t remember how many times the scene plays back in his head; the doctor apologising and the sounds all turning into muffled feedback right after, the blood staining your hospital gown, the sounds of his screams muffled by the blanket covering your hollow shell and the gentle touch of Kouyou trying to pry him away from you. It didn’t matter how much he held on to you anyway, Chuuya had already lost you to death’s grip.

The incomparable happiness he felt just a few hours before had given way to immeasurable grief. And he was conflicted, so conflicted, because in another room, she was crying too. So he did what a father was supposed to do — he straightened up, cradled his little baby in his arms and hushed, telling her everything was going to be alright.

One of the first few sentences he had ever said to his newborn baby, and it had to be a lie. Because how was he supposed to know if everything was really going to be okay? For the first time since he’s met you, Chuuya had felt utterly lost, despondent. Every day since that moment, he has felt his mind being beaten into the ground because of the catastrophe.

Not to say there aren’t happy moments — how could there not be? He lost you, but he also gained an amazing daughter who, he realised after some time, was quite like you.

The first few years had been extremely hard on him. He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know if he was doing it correctly, he didn’t know what else he should do. He had thought the two of you would figure it out together, learn how to be parents together. Turned out to be just another unattainable dream. But Chuuya considers himself lucky. Even until now, the mafia takes care of her as they do him, because she is, by extension, a part of him. She keeps him sane, grounded, particularly during her waking hours. She is not only his miracle but also someone who never fails to distract and beguile his soul. When he spends time with her he can’t help but be completely absorbed in it, in her.

There’s so much that reminds him of you. Why wouldn’t there be? She is your daughter too. Although, she has his eyes (he silently wishes she got yours, so that maybe, somehow, he might see a glimpse of you from time to time). But there are other, more significant, things that reminds him of you. Her smile; the way it slowly and sometimes unwillingly (when she’s feigning being mad at him) shapes into a grin, before the silence gives way to a laugh of jovial significance. It’s not just in its melody — it’s in the way her face changes into a vision of unrestrained mirth. Just like you. Even her, as a person, reminds him of you; the way she manages to touch someone’s life just with mere words (he’s very surprised at this, considering how she’s still just a kid), and the way she protects those she loves with utmost enthusiasm. Even the way she manages to make Chuuya, the hot-headed brute with short temperament, have a patience worthy of admiration, is remarkable in itself.

It’s only in the night that he allows himself to feel about you; to let it out. It’s only when his daughter is asleep that he allows himself to crumble under the pressure of trying to hold it together for them both. Never once does he allow himself to falter in the face of his daughter. Chuuya feels the undeniable need to be her pillar of support, an iron wall that would never break. He can’t let her see him like this, ever, lest she worries. And she would, because she is exactly like you. If he can’t protect you, the least he can do is to safeguard what you left behind — the family.

“I miss you,” he utters into the night, well aware that no one is there to hear him, to respond to him. His eyes are glued to your face.

“I miss you so much.”

But someone does hear it. She has heard it ever since that night two years ago when she woke up due to a little nightmare about fictional monsters. But she met an even greater one that night. The one that haunts her father until the dawn breaks each day. She hears him sobbing every night through the little crack in her door, the door that faces the living room, allowing her a small peek at her father’s shoulders trembling, his crimson locks — now mixed in with several white hairs — a disheveled mess against his body. She knows he goes through this every night — mind in a daze and wandering in a mist of memories.

It’s when she realises that her father is just like her — not a villain, not a hero, just human.

Have you ever felt responsible for something that wasn’t your fault? For something that you had absolutely no control over?

Because that’s how she feels. She feels responsible for her mother’s death. She feels that it’s her fault her father is miserable. She feels if she wasn’t born that none of this would have happened. And she only blames herself… because she knows it’s true. Without pregnancy, you wouldn’t have died. Without a baby, you’d still be here.

And every moment there’s a chorus of conflicting thoughts playing in her mind: “I’m the reason mommy’s gone”, “I wish I could meet you, mommy, daddy loves you a lot”, “I should’ve been the one, not you”. There are more, but she’s lost track of them as the years passed.

Her misty eyes train on the back of her father’s head. Should she finally talk to him about it?

“Daddy?”

Cerulean eyes shoot to the clock on the wall. 1.12am. He wonders why she’s even awake but he pulls it together. This is no time to be panicking. He clears his throat, subtly wiping the tears away from his cheek.

Keep up the act.

“Yes, my little princess?”

She skips toward him in spite of the somber mood. Anything that can make her father smile, no matter how small, she will do it. But the real tension comes when she opens her mouth seeking the truth.

“Is it my fault mommy is… dead?”

Many a times Chuuya had wondered what was the right thing, the best thing, to say in a situation like this. But somehow, in this moment, now that she’s actually asked him the very thing he wished he would never have to address, he knows exactly what to say to put her at ease.

“Honey,” he calls as he carries her up to sit on his lap. “It could never be.”

He lifts an index finger to boop her on the nose, just to watch as she adorably scrunches up her face in response.

There it is — the same reaction as you.

“Wherever mommy is, she’s glad you were born. And you weren’t there but, the moment she laid eyes on you that day you were born? I promise you, I’ve never seen her happier than she was.” He plants a kiss on her temple. “She loves you, little lady, and so do I. So don’t worry your pretty mind with this, okay?”

The relief they both feel — it’s unbelievable. A huge burden off their shoulders. And he carries her into bed, tucking her in as he usually does, but this time he stays beside her, lulling her to sleep, just as he did you — tenderly, softly, like she’s the most precious thing in the world. And your daughter? She feels safe, warm, tranquil.

...

Or so she would have.

But she’s still a child.

The doubt of the practicality of the ideal situation etches itself in her mind, securing a permanent spot in the back of her head. Fear takes over, and she snaps out of her daydreams, closing the room door instead of going to talk to her father — coming back to the nightmare where her father cries himself to sleep at night, all alone on the couch, then to sleep in a cold bed; coming back to the nightmare where her father lives with the monster.

The monster called pain.

And unfortunately, that’s a monster they both share. And will share, for as long as they live.

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